#I still can reply and my posts are showing on the dashboard tho

[thatrudeengineer]

1/4/8/9/13/14/19! Split them up if it gets too long i just like bullying you

Munday stuff! | Always accepting

XDD It’s okayyyy I like your bullying! But obviously u dun know me yet x3 I don’t run at the sight of long posts. Buckle up everyone! We’re going for a ride!

1. What little things do you do special when writing your muse(s) that you wonder if anyone has noticed?

I really like this question, and yet it makes me genuinely wonder... One thing I do but which might not be apparent for people who only know me from one blog, is that I try (try being the keyword here) to change the tone of the writing to match the character. I can’t do much about my general style when it comes to descriptions, it just always comes back, but even then, I use different words depending on the muse even when outside of speech. I’d say that’s pretty subtle though, and maybe I’m the only one who can even notice that but that’s something I pay attention to haha!

Another small thing I like to do, despite writing in a mostly omniscient way, is keep strictly to the character’s pov, even if it means delivering skewed information sometimes. Again I don’t always do that, but sometimes it’s especially relevant and it makes me smile to myself.

I also like separating clearly the speech’s style from the description style, even if I like modifying descriptions a bit to fit the character, I avoid using accents of the specific way the character might be talking. That’s something you’ve maybe noticed in how I write Serik, he’s got specific turns of phrase that I pay special attention to.

One last thing is dropping hints to my character’s past or backstory that explain a current action. Just one line or two. Taken on its own it doesn’t seem much. It might even seem like it’s just a passing thought from the muse, or a reflection of the ‘narrator’ but then hopefully the full info comes out later in RP, or it’s explained OOCly and suddenly the scene can be read on a different level, however small. I like that, even if it’s not all that much, but at the very least I find it satisfying.

4. Has your muse ever gotten very emotional and ‘taken over’ for a reply in a way you didn’t expect?

Always. All the f-ing time! And honestly? That’s how I like my RP the best. Even when the muse isn’t emotional, I try to act as a channel for the character and to avoid guiding things as much as I can. Some muses are easier and louder than others (Serik is one such muse), but that’s what I try to tend towards, even if the action I’m getting from the muse might not seem IC or like it comes from nowhere. In my experience, there’s usually an explanation to that kind of intuition, even if we don’t see it yet. And stifling this tends to smother the muses for me. I prefer relying on the raw intuitive reactions I can get from the muse.

I know everyone is different but that’s what works for me. For me it’s not like I’m watching the character in the room with me or in a mindscape, but more like they’re behind me and I’m the channel and filter in a way. It’s a matter of getting into the right mindset to more or less disappear from the picture. There’s always a bit of leeway at least for reactions but usually they’re very clear to me when the muse is loud.

So when the muse gets very emotional, you can be sure they steer things their way even more. It’s led to really interesting plot-twists over the years. Some that even completely broke the plotting we’d done with the other mun. And I live for those moments. But it’s also part of why I’m increasingly wary of doing RP out of chronological order. I enjoy it immensely, don’t get me wrong, but I just know the muse will do a bad at some point. Something we didn’t expect and derail the RPs set later in time.

Okay... Okay I give XD The rest under the readmore because it’s long!

8. What are other formats you’ve written creatively in (poetry, prose, script, etc)?

I feel a bit bad but... None, really. I’ve done some poetry for school but that hardly counts. And some dabbling in “““““Fanfics”““““ with massive quotation marks because I was so young and I didn’t even have an outline of anything beyond what I was writing in the moment XD Nor did I really publish anything (and what little I might have is now lost somewhere in the depths of the internet, tho for the better really).

I don’t know if it can be called creative writing because it’s mostly drawing but... One thing I did a lot before diving properly into the RP scene on tumblr (my RP was purely in private with my best friend using pictochat before that), was make fancomics. That was my main creative outlet before RP took over. I would have full storylines scripts outlined -- I still have a bunch of them -- even if I never finished drawing a single of those comics. One of them (one of my biggest endeavours, really) is on my personal blog. It didn’t go too far but sometimes I miss doing those.

9. Do you like writing and building up background or NPC characters to your muse?

Answered [here]! :D

Short answer is yesssss, but only really when it’s for OCs and not as much for canon characters.

13. Do you like making promos?

I like the idea of making promos, but it’s a bit the same for me as graphic design. I like the idea of it, but I don’t think I’m good at that at all. I enjoy drawing art for fellow muns that I appreciate, sometimes even art that kind of dual-promotes both blogs, but actual promos? Nah. I really admire people who can, but I’m not cut out for making them.

14. Are you a big fan of AUs?

-Eyes Serik’s verses (still under-construction) page-

...

-Eyes other muses’ Verses pages-

>___>

-Sweats profusely-

Yes. The answer is yes.

19. Explain something on your blog that has a metaphorical/symbolical meaning or is a reference to something else (URL, a tag, blog title, etc)

Hmmm. I’m going to go with something extremely obscure. This blog’s URL used to be “ThatRunawayGuy” simply because that was a big part of then-Sail’s backstory before I reworked this character from the ground up. When I did though, it didn’t really fit as much at all anymore, so I had to find something else. But the ‘that’ in ThatRudeEngineer is a direct reference to the original URL.

Another very trivial thing I can explain that doesn’t even show is the tag I use for memes. “Dash Games”. It’s a common tag, nothing original. But I have a sort of inside joke with myself every time I write it down. Each time, I want to complete it as “Dash games will make you crash” but it’s too long and I didn’t want the possible confusion with a computer crash so I never used that. But just the idea of Serik playing games on his plane’s dashboard and nearly crashing because of that makes me smile every time.

[angrycowboy]

skrtl replied to your post “I swear, the more people in this fandom shittalk Maria DeLuca, the…”

See, Maura, your opinion is totally valid like everyone’s, since this is not a jury or anything, just polarization within fandom, which I’m learning to see as very common behavior. The thing is: why say things like “go watch the show again” and “get a shtick”? It just sounds like who doesn’t share your opinion is stupid, therefore it sounds impolite and rude. We love our special characters, but in the end of the day they are just that: characters. But mean words can hurt real people.

I’m going to take this moment and talk about something that has been bothering me for months, and that I can’t recall having discussed outside of DMs - and that is the fandom divide you mentioned. I recently had a very good conversation with someone about that divide, particularly in regards to Malex shippers. It also made me think of that thing about 1% of the fandom being batshit, which is something I very much believe is true, and one glance into the main tags can always show someone who those perpetrators are.

(Under the cut, because this got long.)

Early on when the show first aired, there were some very vocal Malex shippers who had some very poorly worded arguments in regards to how they defended the need for queer representation in media, and specifically RNM. Are their hearts in the right place? I think so. But attacking OG Roswell fans, as well as Miluca shippers, was the wrong way to go about it. And one of the biggest mistakes the Malex fandom made was that many turned a blind eye instead of calling out the worst of those offenders and their treatment of other blogs. And that attitude has only steadily gotten worse from there. It put those fans on the defensive (as is their right when they were constantly being attacked for their ships and characters, when they were doing no different than what everyone else was doing in having a POV character they prefer), and lead to the hostility that became prevalent in the fandom between the Malex shippers and the Miluca shippers - something that very much still exists.

But that hostility never truly went away, and in fact, it only continued to infect the Malex side of the fandom with the conclusion of the season. Suddenly, you had Malex shippers attacking not only each other, but also “Alex stans” and “Michael stans” (tho I don’t really see “Michael stans” addressing themselves as such, it’s more a moniker tacked on to people by others - most “Michael stans” just refer to themselves as Malex shippers) as well as people attacking any defense of Maria and her choices. One look into the tag, and it was relentless, post after post of hate against Maria, people attacking anyone who dared do anything except praise Alex, and as this hiatus has progressed, and vague posts about how angry some people are at Michael just become more commonplace. And so it didn’t just stay hidden in the tags, it gets reblogged, and the hate and wank was showing up on people’s dashboards - which is always exhausting when you are constantly bombarded with post after post about why your fav POV character is an asshole, or a bitch, or deserves to have terrible things done to them (we can argue until the cows come home about blacklisting but sometimes it comes from people you’ve made friends with in fandom and that can often ruin a fandom experience very quickly). Then at the same time seeing post after post basically forcing people to only post positive things about one character, because anything else will not be tolerated - you will get anons, you will get hate, and you will be told to tag it “anti.” So there has also very much been policing in the tags of how people post and how they tag (many people do it for archival purposed on their blog, something that seems to be forgotten by a lot of the fandom) that needs to be addressed (and preferably stopped).

I defended Maria in her decisions throughout the season once, and received two anons berating me because apparently I dared share an opinion that wasn’t conforming to some unwritten rule that to be a Malex shipper is to hate Maria and/or Miluca. I’ve had numerous people in my DMs saying they are afraid to reblog Miluca sets because they’re afraid of backlash, or how exhausting it is to see Michael or Maria hate on their gifsets (this can also be extended to Max hate on gifsets made by Echo shippers). And it is not uncommon for people to receive anon hate simply for posting or reblogging Miluca and/or Maria-positive content. Interestingly enough, Maribel content seems to be excluded from this, which gives the look that the only “acceptable” way to ship Maria is with Isobel (I’m excluding other Maria ships as they seem to be too small to pick up much notice in general).

This doesn’t even touch upon the numerous blowups in the discord servers, which has also attributed to the fandom divide, but is rarely ever spoken about, and is literally the definition of opening Pandora’s Box, so I’m going to skip right over it.

To address your reply, I suggest you re-read the entire conversation in the replies, particularly where I refer to a specific argument against Maria that has absolutely no basis in canon, but nevertheless is used as reason for people to hate Maria as a character in canon. Maria is not a homewrecker, she did not steal Michael away from Alex, because Alex broke up with Michael multiple times - these are canonical facts that can easily be ascertained from watching the show as a whole. There have been numerous posts written about the miscommunication issues Malex has, and how that plays into their actions and decisions in the latter part of the season - it is pointless to rehash them here. I was not referring to anyone who is angry because Maria and Alex are friends, and if you look again you will see it is not mentioned at all. That is a perfectly valid reason to dislike Miluca and the love triangle, which is why it is also not the basis for the post you are replying to either (though given that I never mention what set me off to write this post, you must know something I don’t, Jassi)

If anyone takes away from my saying I love a character more the more hate I see as personally offensive, then I have to wonder what those people are posting about that sets them on edge like that. 

[briteboy]

LITERALLY SO MANY QUESTIONS AND THIS IS ONLY HALF OF THEM 

lmao RIP me (now u know why i take so long to answer)

do you know the game what remains of edith finch? its really fantastic, I just finished the part with lewis, his whole situation with reality reminded me of santi. just wanted to tell you :)

surprisingly no i haven’t ever heard of it! :O but now i’m intrigued, i googled it and i’m reading up on it hehe thank you for telling me, u learn something new every day :~}

Hello femmesim! I'm a new simblr & I see you get a lot of notes on your great story! I guess this probably means you have a lot of followers too. I was wondering if you follow them all back. If not do you check out your followers & how do you decide which ones to follow back? What don't you like. What would make you unfollow them? Oops that was a lot lol!

iiiiiiiii honestly haven’t even looked at my actual followers page in a loooooong time, even on my personal blog i was never good with that lol. i just can’t keep up with everyone and i don’t want to feel obligated to follow everyone back because that would be way too many posts on my dashboard all the time y’know. it sounds mean but...ajksdgdsf i WISH i could follow everyone back but itsjustnotrealistic

tbh i follow people back when they reach out to me, make an effort to engage with me, send me messages, reply, or just frequently interact with my posts because it gets my attention and shows their personality. i don’t mean that as in like...”you can’t be my friend unless you give me notes” (LMFAO NO) i mean it as in like i’m fcking oblivious and it’s too much work for me to go out of my way and check out every single blog that follows me :{ but i love messaging and communicating through replies so even if you’re nervous pleeeease step out of your comfort zone, i promise i’m like a pretty good OK human being and i try to make funny jokes so talking to me isn’t that bad i promise.

as for your other questions...tbh i dunno, i like blogs that interest me. (duh...lmao what kind of answer even is that) i usually go for people that show their personalities in their posts (go figure), like memes (lmfao), have an intriguing aesthetic, HONESTLY IDK...i follow a lot of diverse blogs tbh, not just ones that are similar to mine. i only unfollow ppl if i have no memory of following them and their content doesn’t interest me, if they say/do something that irks or angers me (that’s only happened like twice tho), or if they post like EXCESSIVE nsfw...i didn’t sign up for that lmao

i hope i don’t sound like an asshole for all this but it’s just like...i can’t deny i get a lot of attention on here. and i never expected it so i’m pretty unprepared for it lmao. i try my best tho :{ just reach out to me and we’ll probably be frands ok

so many feelings

I just wanted to say how much I love your blog but to the Anon who said how she looks white if she's Hispanic. Not all hispanics are brown haired and tan. I'm Puerto Rican and I'm blonde and have blue eyes. Hispanics come in different tones and what nots :)

hell0 thank you <3 yeah hispanic people are very diverse, especially with varying nationalities, and especially with puerto ricans. i personally know a lot of puerto ricans who are white passing so it’s really not that uncommon. everyone’s different, and as eir said, white passing POC are still POC!

papa ya - sunny ; thats your song boo lol

OOH i actually like this...i’m boppin my head rn lmao thank u

So basically the last anon is saying hispanics can't be 'white'? I know many 'white' hispanics???

i don’t wanna twist their words, i think they just meant molly looks ethnically white and i understand that, i’m not denying she’s white passing but tbh...idk, if she wasn’t my own sim i’d look at her and kinda know she’s not 100% white y’know. she has features that don’t look european. plus the fact that i’ve posted her speaking spanish before soooo. anyway yeah it’s very possible for a hispanic person to literally have white skin but that doesn’t mean they’re ethnically white

well if she has family from spain it's normal for them to have blonde hair and green eyes, so i mean that could make sense.

she could, who’s to say lol. it’s rly not that deep tho, she’s half white, half puerto rican, das it. but yeaah there is a wide array of genetic possibilities for every race! who’da thunk it

Hey, I'm a new reader, is it possible you could link some earlier parts to your story. You don't have to if it's problem though I know how tumblr be. I love the visuals style of your sims. That's what caught my eye. I also was wondering what editing program would you suggest. I kinda want to test out editing my sims.

heyo i summed up the story here and here and there’s a lot of posts of key events linked in there! thank you though, that’s so kind ;-; <3 wellll the only editing program i use is photoshop cs6 so i’d recommend that haha. you can find it for free pretty easily, but if you’re not into that, there are plenty of other programs you can use. i know a lot of ppl on here use gimp. 

hi! I need advice and idk where to get it from but you seem like a really good person who has some wisdom lol! so basically i'm in a big financial situation. I had a good paying job but it made me have anxiety and panic attack because i hated it so much. and i quit my job before i had another job lined up. So my bank account is very close to being completely empty and i have bills and i have to move soon. I NEED ADVICE OR SOMEONE TO TELL ME ITS GOING TO BE OK.

omg first of all i’m so touched that you even came to me with this wtf ;___; ily

second of all it IS going to be ok, you shouldn’t force yourself to do something you hate if it’s really impeding on your mental health that much. it’s not good for you in the long run, even if it pays well. like, at what cost do you want to sell yourself in order to make money? my point is you made a good decision but lacked the foresight, which luckily is something that can be remedied easily. (well...hopefully, but job hunting is never easy :\ ) if you’re still in this situation by the time your bills and everything catch up to you, you can always seek help from family and friends or look into loans...find someone (or multiple people) who will stick by you and support you through this, because this is something way too hard to do alone. (if you don’t have anyone, i’m here for you ;-; ) i honestly don’t have any good advice for finding another job because tbh that’s something i always flounder in, and i’m gonna have to do the same thing by the time i finish up school in the next month AHHHHH

i’m prayin 4 both of us, but you especially <3

Hi!!! sorry i remember seeing an ask about Lou's eyelashes but i cannot find it :((( could you please tell me where can i find it???

hey she just uses the kijiko ones! sometimes if it’s a closeup i use these eyelash brushes tho

hi! sorry, this is a weird question but i thought you could help maybe.... i recently started playing ts4 again, but when i am in cas, there is a weird shine on all cc hairs.... do you have a solution for this? thank you in advance!

hmmmmm i kinda get a weird shiny glitch too but it’s only with certain things, and it’s usually remedied by clicking on the sim’s different outfit categories until it goes away lol. but if it’s on ALL of the hairs...hmm...i’m assuming you’re talking about alpha? because i don’t think clay hairs usually have that problem. check if laptop mode is on, if it is, turn it off!! that’s the only solution i can think of :{

i feel like too many people are reading too deeply into things. either way i love your work and just read the entire thing in a day and i love you so much idek.

i think this was sent when i was getting messages about my dialogue haha. i mean i definitely understand their points in saying it has too many realistic vocal quirks, but tbh that’s what i like about it, and i think that’s part of the reason people connect with it. idk. but thank you so much ily ;__;

hi i just wanted to ask how do you manage your time and how do you post frequently without feeling overworked and overwhelmed ? do you have some sort of schedule, because you seem very organized lol . tysm for answering <3 !

hmmmmm how? um poorly LMAO

no but really...it’s hard. i’m glad i’m so into this story/eager to see all your reactions to it because otherwise the chaos of my life would’ve definitely deterred me from moving along with it a while ago. that’s basically the reason i’m so surprised i even made it this far tbh. i accomplished so much more than i ever thought i would. ;__;

i don’t have an answer for this question because i DO often feel overwhelmed and i have to take a step back and remind myself it’s not the end of the world if i don’t have time to go in game or edit or whatever. i think it’s because i set up this timeline for myself in terms of goals i want to reach with my story throughout the rest of the year and i get frustrated with myself when those plans become delayed because of other obligations. (for example i definitely thought baby wallace would’ve been born by now lmao syke) i was getting burnt out very easily before, which is why i’ve been taking it slower lately (that and i’ve been working a lot more so i don’t have as much free time as i used to :\ ) the good thing about having different characters tho is that when i get burnt out on one thing i can just switch over to another thing at an opportune time (which is what i’ve always done with santi and girooni)

anyway yeah i am kinda organized (in my own weird way) in terms of story planning, controlling the pacing and key events, and that’s definitely the reason i’m able to post so frequently. i used to have multiple free days a week where i could go in game for long amounts of time and get lots of scenes done at once, but at this point in my current schedule i just basically go in game whenever i'm free from the clutches of capitalism (jk we’re never free save us bernie) which means i only have time to do like one thing in game but it seems to be working just as well so far.

.............i’m how i wrote a novel to answer this

im glad i pretty much got it. i can really relate to everything going on. i can see a lot of myself in santi and molly & i get it. the movies make you think you fall in love and everythings fixed like they fill that void in your soul and i mean sure they fill parts of it but you need to do that yourself and not rely on someone else. Your story is real and you can tell your writing from personal experience because theres so much feeling. u think ur fixing urself and u end up more hurt in the end

i’m so glad you can relate ;-; i think that’s one of my proudest accomplishments so far. i mean santi has always been relatable for me because he IS me...or at least partly me, just like all my characters are. but i never thought anyone else would feel the same way, so it means so much to me that people enjoy him as a character because of that.

anyway YES exactly. i hate the “no one’s going to love you if you don’t love yourself” mentality, i think it’s a toxic way of looking at the benefits of genuine self love. the sentiment behind it is true, but it’s a backwards way of looking at it. someone’s else’s love shouldn’t be your motivation, your own love toward yourself should be your motivation. when you look at it in the other way, you do end up getting more hurt in the end.

lol anons back the frick off, that scene is perfect, santi is perfect, sunny is perfect, the stuttering is perfect THIS BLOG IS FREAKIN PERFECT

oMG i appreciate the support, but i don’t blame those people for having issues with my dialogue hahahha. i know it’s kind of different and weird but it just feels right for me when i write it so i go with it. i rly like santi’s stuttering tho so *shrugs* THANK YOU THO ILY <333

hey! I was wondering if you have any tips on making(?) light leaks in photoshop? idk if you've answered this already bc I'm on mobile, buT if u have I'll just check when I get on my computer next !!! Thanks !

ummM I DON’T ACTUALLY because i get all my light leaks off google lmao. i have a folder of all the ones i’ve collected over time lmao

you could probably easily make some with the paintbrush in overlay mode with varying opacities tho? i’ve tried to replicate this a few times actually, but the rest of the time i just use light leaks made by other people lol

Do you enjoy more playing the game or taking the photos/making the story? Do you play challenges?

LATELY i’ve been just enjoying playing the game because i’ve gotten burnt out on story things and just playing is such a nice break from it haha. whenever i have to wait in game for it to be a certain time of day for story purposes, i go play with girooni for a few sim hours to pass the time and it’s fun for me lmao. i’m looking forward to my story winding down so i can get back to doing more gameplay things like i did before but at the same time i’ll always do at least something story related because i like the sense of direction it gives y’know.

i’ve never actually tried any challenges, not even just regular old legacies because i would always either get sick of the sims i was playing with or get too attached to them and not want to go to a new generation lmao. i was never interested in any challenges tbh. i like watching other people do bachelor(ette) challenges tho heheh

WHEN DID SANTI BECOME SUCH A STRONK BOI also you are so sweet we don't deserve you??? You are a blessing I love you thank you for doing this aaaaa ;;; you are an inspiration I hope I can do what you do too! OK BYE HAVE A NICE DAY ❤️❤️❤️

OMG HE’S ALWAYS BEEN SECRETLY STRONK (i’m assuming this is about how he beat ugly stepdad to a pulp lmao) he mostly gets his strength from anger and an adrenaline rush. a BLESSING WHAT!!!!!! YOU���RE SO SWEET ILY ;__; don’t thank me, i’m just doin what i love <3 have a nice day/night/rest of your life ily

But why are ur anons so needy lol isn't that like ur third one angry that u haven't responded

ugh i feel bad because i get it, i do, i understand it hurts when you reach out to someone multiple times and you get ignored, but i don’t do it on purpose and i have explained, many times, the plenty of valid reasons why i can’t respond to 100% of my messages. i’m actually trying to answer all of my message right now with these mass answer posts and it’s REALLY a lot for me to go out of my way and do this. so i’m trying ok. but like i’m only a person ajhsdghjdfjhk i can only give so much attention to this y’know. please be patient

from this moment on we should all proceed to take cautions around ppl named dan.... TAINTED

I KNO RIGHT...dan is such an ugly boring name (no offense to the dans of the world) but like if you’re a dane you’re probably evil or are the human embodiment of cardboard

I can not say it enough. Great story. It's life. And life is beautiful, loving, refreshing and sometimes it can be harsh & scary. You take the good with the bad. I look forward to what comes next. --"Run away, run far away" nony (I have to start thinking of new tag line, because I am diggin Santi and Lou together) :)

HELLO FRIEND i kinda love that you keep coming back ehehe. and i’m glad you’re enjoying it so much ;___; these words are so kind and genuine, thank you so much <3333 OMG i’m glad you like santou as well even though they’re on a slow decline right now. i’m really excited about what i have planned in the future tho

omggggg my theory is the first one on that list you posted!! i'm so happy for that but also sad bc of what's going on with molly and santi and i hope that santi will finally just be happy soon. love you and your sims (except step dad dan) 💕💕

OOH HELLO YES you basically guessed everything that happened up until this point hahaha congratulations <33 santi will be happy...eventually. it’s going to be a long hard road in getting there tho. i hope you’ll all be satisfied in the end

fuck you dan stepdad

[forever5hines]

 5 YEAR BLOG ANNIVERSARY / 2K FOLLOWERS POST (this is a personal post, some thoughts and stuff - a celebration post is coming soon) 

okay I am not sure yet what I am going to write but I am gonna assume it’s long so giving you a heads up 

I was looking forward to my 5 year anniversary for quite a while because it’s something that was inevitably going to happen and I knew I wasn’t going anywhere. This blog was started because I started writing fanfictions. I posted them on asianfanfics and wanted to share them on tumblr, but I didn’t want to use my old blog because my sister was following me and I didn’t want her to know (although she does know now) so I made a new blog and at that moment I didn’t really have a big bias but I did like Jongkey a lot and anything I was writing was about jongkey and I intended this blog to be mostly about jongkey so I posted a jongkey picture which ended up being my tumblr icon for the majority of the time and I looked for a username that had to do with jongkey, of course all the obvious once were taking so I kept adding stuff going from jongkey (and nothing else because I have a dislike for misspelling even if it’s on purpose) and then I added shipper because that’s what I was but stil someone already had that username. Then I realised that both their first names were kim so adding it to their ship name would still make sense, hence ‘kimjongkeyshipper’ was born and I haven’t changed my url in 5 years. I’ve considered it in the last year to change it up but I realised I’ve become too attached to the name and it’s become like any of my nicknames to me so I keep it this way and I am happy with it I am someone who doesn’t really post a lot of original content apart from some occasional mutterings or silly jokes and it makes me surprised so many people follow me. When I first started I was happy when I hit 20 followers and I started to dream of those 100 followers, it was my ultimate goal. Then I hit 100 and I was so happy and the more followers I gained the quicker they came, every next hundred was a celebration. and then I hit 1K followers and like that was the greatest thing ever I celebrated a lot, did a follow-forever and so on and then I sort of.... stopped caring how many followers I had which is both good and bad because I posted different stuff and it made me try out different things but it also made me less motivated sometimes. But then I when I had around 1800 followers I realised I was probably going to get to 2000 followers and I picked things up again and though the last few months have been too busy, I’ve managed to gain the last few and yesterday I hit 2000 followers and I am so excited and thankful to each and every one of you. I know I don’t follow back easily and that I haven’t talked to all of you but I try to reach out whenever I can 

but most of all tumblr and all the followers, all the people I follow they helped me out so many times. When I was on here in the beginning I was so down and sad tho sometimes I didn’t even realise how bad I was feeling until after a while I realised I was feeling so much better. And it was because of the people here, and SHINee of course. I don’t know exactly where I would’ve gone without tumblr but nowhere good. And now I am happy and my scars are still fading and all the people on here never fail to make me smile and make me be where I am today

Seriously, anyone who has send me any ask, message, replied to a post, tagged me in stuff, wether I replied or not, I saw it and it makes me happy and feel loved. I made friends for life on here and hope to make many more and I just all love you so much, even just seeing people showing up in my notifications a few times or seeing them on my dashboard makes me happy and I am always glad to hear you’re doing well and I get worried if you’re not. I try to reach out whenever I can and I try to be a kind and a supportive person so I hope you also consider me that way

and I know I sometimes complain about people doing this or that on tumblr but in reality tumblr is one of the best places where you can share your thoughts and where people are so supportive of each other, I’ve never been on a site so supportive and tho there will always be some sour users on here, the majority are genuinely good people and that makes me happy

I just want to say I all love you lots and I am sending you a virtual hug 

if you got any memories or thoughts to share feel free to do so 

I also absolutely did not cry over this today, did not 

let’s hope we can share many more years together <3 

[baldursyourgate]

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