#I stg I don't know how shit happens sometimes

[dracomeir]

Man, maybe I should just become a Daddy Dearest artist because he's the best one I drew for this six character art meme thing. I'm just looking at him like, "How the fuck did I..."

[annasinterests]

don't look at me like that unless you mean it

so i get out of bed ♫ put on my shoes and in my head

|| series masterlist || main masterlist ||

a/n: going back and revising can either be the best or worst thing in the world i stg lmao. i'm honestly surprised with how quick i got this one out?? anyway, thank you all for the likes and reblogs so far on this series! i hope you're all enjoying where the story is going!! if you have any questions, comments, or even suggestions (even if its like grammatical stuff), please let me know bc i'd love to hear some feedback <3

word count: 4.1k (where da freak did that come from?!)

pairings: joel miller x f!reader

warnings & tags: minors dni, angst, reader midkey being a little shit, reader also being a mom, swearing, lil fluff here n there, pining, looming threats — please tell me if i missed anything!

Winter turned to spring.

Spring turned to summer.

And Ellie found her purpose again.

She volunteered to help all around Jackson when she wasn’t out on patrol with you or Joel, going above and beyond what was expected of her. At least twice a month, the three of you would go over to Tommy and Maria’s for family night, consisting of food and games for a couple hours. Sometimes even Dina, her now-official girlfriend, and Jesse joined– At Ellie’s request, of course.

You tried your best to have meals as a family, taking the time to share details of the day or week, or simply just enjoying each other's presence in silence. Ellie had made it a point to spend time with you and Joel separately once a week outside of work, whether it’d be having lunch, going for a walk, or watching a movie together.

It was like life breathed into her, and your house felt like home again.

Whenever you’d get lucky enough to all be home at the same time, the three of you would be in the living room together but be occupied with your respective interests. Joel would be on the couch with a guitar and rag in hand, delicately cleaning and polishing the instrument, while Ellie sat on the window seat across the room with her notebook and pencil. You’d be curled up on your reading chair between them with your nose in a book while cradling either a mug of coffee or tea. Sometimes the quiet would be broken by Ellie peering up from her art and seriously prompting Joel with a question that was so obviously from her book of puns and you'd watch as she eagerly waited for him to take the bait. You couldn't tell what was better, when Ellie would make herself crack up, or watch Joel shake his head in disbelief with a grin on his face. The best, though, was when Joel would answer with the punchline and laugh as he watched Ellie's face fall with contempt.

Things had just fallen back into place.

The general rule in Jackson was that everything had a set schedule and was planned in advance, no matter how big or minuscule it was. So when Maria had called in for all patrol, leaders, and committee members to meet at first light this morning, you knew it had to be something important.

On your walk over to town hall, you took the extra time to appreciate your surroundings. The sun shined a bit brighter, and the air felt fresher. The trees were regaining their green leaves in full, and weeds sprouted in the cracks of the streets and sidewalks. You waved to fellow settlers sitting on their porches and drinking their morning cups of coffee, many of whom you’d come to know as good friends.

The room filled up quickly and the air hummed with anticipation and light conversation. People arranged themselves according to their role in Jackson, but you only paid attention to the groups you belonged to: The committee, who sat before the podium, and patrol, who lingered near the back. And it just so happened that you were administration duty this week, so you took your seat in the front row. You scanned over your shoulder for Joel and spotted him off in the corner with Tommy, in what seemed like typical brotherly conversation. The two faced each other, Tommy talking passionately about something while Joel shook his head in annoyance, which slowly turned to reluctant nods and a hand up in defeat. You wondered what he’d been going on about.

Your attention was drawn back to the podium by the tapping sound of the microphone that was amplified through the speakers, Maria's favorite way of commanding the room's attention. But when you looked at her, she wasn’t her typical self. In all meetings, planned or not, she always exuded an unmatched confidence and possessed a let's-get-to-business attitude. That she wasn’t phased by the sheer amount of responsibility that rested on her shoulders, being the backbone of Jackson.

But now, something was off. She was bothered, and it showed. Her hands that normally folded in front of her now gripped the sides of the podium with such a strain that you could see her knuckles turning white and her thumb repeatedly scratching at the wood. Her eyes anxiously darted around the room, looking at all the bodies staring back at her, but not really seeing them.

"Thank you all for being here on such short notice," she tried to mask her concern with a bright smile, "I wanted to bring you all together to discuss an important development that has come to our attention."

She paused for a moment, as if to reel in everyone's attention moreso, though it was probably more for herself. You tilted your head and squinted at her as she nervously peered around again, wondering what the hell had gotten into her.

"Recently, some of our patrol has been encountering a group little ways beyond our walls,” she allowed her words to sink in, “but they’re not like our usuals– they’re more organized. Dangerous.”

And? Jackson’s dealt with savagery before, what’s so different now? Maria glanced at you briefly, as if she heard your thoughts.

“They pose a significant threat to us. One greater than we’ve ever seen, and one that we cannot underestimate.”

Without missing a beat, you looked over your shoulder between the sea of people that were exchanging uneasy looks and words for Joel, finding his eyes on you. He shared the same apprehensive expression as you did, with steady eyes and scrunched brows.

Maria held up her hand to quiet the murmur that had rippled through the room before speaking again, but you drowned out her words. The most you were able to put together was something about unsettling information, the community being built on unity and resilience, and stricter security measures.

For all the times you came across people, how many of them had been the company that played a hand in this? How many times had you walked away from someone who harbored ill intentions? How many times had you unwittingly brushed shoulders with death at the hands of these people?

You sat still as ever, eyes locked in front of you, but your body was beginning to shut down as more thoughts crammed themselves into your head. Your heart rate picked up, being able to feel the pulse just about everywhere, and your vision began to blur in and out.

Your hand ghosted over the void in your stomach. You could handle being out there. Fuck, you could come to terms even getting caught out there. But it made your blood run cold knowing that Joel was out there facing those same risks as you, and– fuck– even Ellie too.

One question still lingered: What was it about this group that set them apart from the rest?

“Hey sweetheart-” you were startled by the sudden hand on your knee, jerking your head to the left to look at the woman next to you, Charlotte. She frowned at you, “Are you alright?”

“I’m-” you shook your head to a nod, “I’m- Yes. I am.” She didn’t look convinced, but didn’t pry either. Instead, she gently placed her hand on top of yours.

You liked Charlotte, and not just because you had to for the sake of the committee, because God, there were quite a few that fell under that obligation. You actually respected her. She was sweet and southern as they made them, and everything she did was always handled with grace and poise. You’d also be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t slightly envious of her. To be soft and benevolent well after the end of the world? You could only wish to be those things.

“Well, if it’s alright with you, I could really use Ellie’s help at the school today.” She took her free hand and gestured about the room, “Just ‘ought to prep some things in light of all.. this.”

You placed your hand on top of hers, "Ellie would love to."

“And have Dina go too,” she gave a warm smile and squeezed your shoulder as she stood. She leaned down as if she was confessing a secret, sending you a wink. “I’ve always liked those two.”

It was when she walked away that you noticed the meeting had ended. People were standing clustered in groups, and you were unable to decipher what each conversation had really been about as you were preoccupied with finding Joel before heading out.

He’d still been near the back with Tommy and other patrolmen Samson, Milo, and- oh, great- Fitz.

You’d been paired up with Fitz on several occasions, only getting to know him well enough to stand him for an entire shift, but still struggled to do so. He was a patrol leader around your age, but still acted like he was in his twenties, in the sense of that he wanted to fuck every woman available in Jackson. Every time you’d turn him down, he’d have another girl on his arm the week after, and then a different one after that. And just when you thought he’d given up, he made his rounds back to you in hopes that you’d give him a chance to get in your pants.

Tommy's back had been to you, the four men around him listening to whatever story he'd been telling. You gently patted his shoulder and you stepped beside him so as not to spook him, to which he pulled you in for a side hug/cheek kiss combo and quick good mornin' as he carried on his story. Joel had been on the end of the semi-circle of men, leaving you a spot to settle in next to him. When Tommy got to the height of the tale, the three men erupted in laughter, Joel only shaking his head with a curled lip.

In a moment of reprieve, Fitz took the opportunity to draw the attention to you with a mischievous grin.

“Miler, how’s it that you’ve got the most beautiful woman in Jackson livin’ under the same roof as you, and yet you won’t even claim her?”

Fitz’s tongue poked his cheek as Joel’s jaw tightened at the slight. You caught Tommy giving Joel a smug look before looking down at his feet to hide it. He’d teased Joel for the same thing before, but never as direct or harsh, and definitely not in front of other people. Fitz redirected back to you, “Listen, if he won’t touch ya', I’d be happy to-”

“Who said he didn’t?”

You wanted to punch yourself in the throat immediately, but the wild look on Joel’s face made the lie so fucking worth it. You kept the smirk on your face and stared at Fitz until he grew uncomfortable enough to break contact, ignoring the wide eyed expressions from the rest of them.

“You could probably take some pointers, honestly.” You jerked your thumb at Joel.

Joel continued to burn holes into your head as Tommy, Milo, and Samson tried to stifle their laughter. Fitz rolled his eyes as a redness spread on his cheeks, mumbling an insult and withdrawing himself from the group. You smiled and bit your lip as you watched him walk away, letting out an airy laugh once he was out of sight.

“So, when were you guys gonna-” You and Joel both gestured defensively at Tommy as excuses fell out of your mouths by the second.

“No! We’re not-” you glanced at Joel quickly. “No. That was just to get Fitz to quit his shit.”

Knowing Fritz’s reputation, Tommy didn’t require anymore persuasion, saving you from having to over-explain yourself and wind up looking like a fool in the process. “Well.. we're havin' a thing at the Bison on Friday. Why don't you come down?"

You raised an eyebrow at him, looking at Joel for confirmation if you heard him correctly. “Shouldn’t we.. I don’t know, not be having a thing? Especially after what Maria just said?”

Tommy nodded his head and sighed, knowing exactly that’s what the invitation sounded like. “It’s not- It’s supposed to be a.. morale booster, fuckin’ whatever– it's Maria’s idea, not mine. I'm just supposed to get the word out."

While it felt a little odd, you could understand why she wanted to do it. "I don't know, Tommy, I-"

"Great! See y'all there!" Tommy smirked as he looked between you and Joel and began to walk away. You turned to Joel with disbelief, but he was unphased, conveying how Tommy had roped him into this way before you walked over.

As the room emptied out, you all took it as your cue to leave and begin tending to your responsibilities for the day. Joel had disappeared too quickly for your liking, but you didn’t have the time to sit and chat with him either.

You stopped home to find Ellie, Dina, and Jesse in the kitchen eating breakfast together, chuckling at the idea of the other two essentially being your adoptive children as well for how much they were over.

Ellie offered you a strawberry off her plate and inquired about the meeting with genuine curiosity. Carefully, you explained to them the importance of being aware of their surroundings for the next couple of weeks, and to not stay out past curfew no matter where they were. Meaning if they needed to crash at your house for the night, so be it, and so on and so forth. They found your propositions to be odd, understandably as you didn’t give the proper context as to why, but nonetheless they didn’t question you.

"So.. are you going to the thing on Friday?" Jesse’s inquiry took you by surprise.

"How do you know about the thing on Friday?" You asked like a mother asking her child about something they weren't supposed to know about.

"I ran into Fitz before I got here.”

You rolled your eyes. Fuckin’ Fitz. Of course he’s going. You shifted your weight against the counter, crossing your arms. "Yeah, I am. Why?"

"'Cause we were gonna sneak in if you weren't." Dina mumbled behind her glass of juice.

You tittered at her honesty, your eyebrows now furrowed together. "And why would you guys have to sneak in?"

"Because Fitz said that Uncle Tommy said it was only for adults? Like, older than us." Ellie gestured to the other two and shot you a look of confusion, like you were already supposed to know.

Your expression stayed the same, but your eyes shifted around the room as you thought about the new fact she presented you.

Huh. Only for adults.

Your mouth closed and curled up. It was on brand for Tommy to not have added that important piece of information.

Ellie watched as the gears turned in your head, but you didn't give her the opportunity to pick at your brain as you changed the subject to Charlotte's request.

“Well, Ms. Charlotte needs you two to help her today.” You pointed your fingers at the girls, who shared an excitement to be with the kids. Keeping one finger on them, you averted the other to Jesse. “And you need to get ready to head out, Mr. Almost-Patrol-Leader.”

The kids rushed to clean up their dishes and grab their bags to get to it. Before running out the door, they each gave you their own special way of saying goodbye.

“Thanks for letting me eat your food!”

“See you later, love you!

“Love you more than Ellie does!”

You beamed at the door after it closed.

For some reason, you thought Joel would've been home. You imagined that if he had been present for the conversation, he definitely would've dropped a sarcastic remark somewhere to illustrate his dismay for Fitz or the party. But he wasn't, and it made you feel off.

You were still leaning against the counter in deep thought, feeling.. oddly familiar in the spot. It had only been months ago when you stood here, tea in hand, sharing a.. moment.. with Joel. You stared at the empty space where he had left the jar of honey that morning, a memory of yet another stolen moment.

The silence overwhelmingly contrasted with the energetic scene you were just part of, forcing you to realize just how empty the house was.

You shook your head, rousing yourself from your thoughts.

Go. Go out and get some work done.

You spent the rest of the afternoon and evening walking through the bustling streets of Jackson, checking in with other leaders and taking note of their preparations for the coming weeks to report back to Maria. You wanted to gather as much information as possible to keep her adequately informed, but it also gave you a reason to push Joel far away from your thoughts.

Through your interactions, you couldn't help but admire the unity and spirit of Jackson. The sense of vigilance permeated the community, there was a collective understanding that every measure mattered in ensuring the safety of everyone. From rigorous training sessions led by guardsmen, sharpening their combat skills and marksmanship, to the meticulous maintenance of weapons and ammunition, no detail was overlooked.

Before returning to the town hall, you brought yourself to the stables. It sat on a hill that overlooked the town with no other buildings near it, making it the perfect getaway when you needed a break from all the noise.

It'd been empty with the exception of a handful of horses in their stalls. In relaxed movements, you swiftly picked up a bucket and flipped it upside down as a makeshift seat, plopping yourself down on it. Hues of red and orange brushed across the sky, the sun sitting just over the top of a mountain far out in the distance. You sat quietly, listening to the buzzing and ticks of nature.

"Can't beat that view." A gentle voice came from behind you, registering as Joel.

The sound of his boots on the floor let you know he approached your side, shoving his hands into his pockets. You nodded in agreement, not seeing the use for words in the moment. Neither one of you looked or even glanced at each other, focusing your attention to the sunset in front of you. The sun descended behind the mountain, dragging the bold colors with it and allowing new hues of blue and purple to replace it. The town lights began to come on, flickering up and down the streets. A soft yellow glow illuminated the stables.

You hadn't seen him all day after the meeting, but now here he was, joining you in your small time of solace. Honestly, you didn't expect him to be there. If he had gone out for his shift around noon, he wasn't supposed to be back for another few hours. You thought that maybe Tommy switched his shift last minute, or that you just remembered his schedule wrong for the week. Either way, you weren't going to poke and prod. Your thoughts had pivoted back to this morning.

“Do you think she’s not telling us something?”

He furrowed his eyebrows momentarily before relaxing. “Maybe.”

You stood up and slid the bucket off to the side, beginning to pace at the edge where the wood met the grass. Joel watched as you brought your hands to your hips and your eyes stared down at your feet, placing themselves one in front of the other as if they threatened to trip over thin air.

You couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more to this. It all felt so sinister. You wanted to be mad at yourself– How could you have gone so long without realizing that there’d been people out there watching, judging, and assessing every move? But also, how could you have known? What were the signs you were supposed to be looking for?

“People hide things when they’re scared.”

His words stopped your pace, and fuck if they hit a little too close to home. You faced him with a perplexed expression etched on your face and a light desperation in your voice. “But why is she scared?”

You weren’t looking for a legitimate answer, you just wanted him to see where your train of thought was at. You searched his eyes in hopes that he shared the same doubts. That something bigger was in the picture.

“Tommy thinks they’re tracking us on patrol.” He shrugged his shoulders again, his eyes first glancing down at the ground before landing on you. He shifted his weight to his one foot almost cautiously. "Seems that way, I guess."

Your breath hitched in the back of your throat as you tried to take deep breaths. Your hands ran through your hair to stimulate the light-headed feeling that was spreading quickly. No fucking way.

“How long?”

Your eyebrows were knitted together and your eyes narrowed at Joel's. He brought his hands to his hips and turned himself towards Jackson, staring off into the distance, where somewhere between all those mountains, rivers, and forests, danger lurked. The weight of silence hung heavy in the air, a tangible presence that seemed to amplify the gravity of the situation.

“Been runnin’ into the same people for a couple months, at least.”

Months. They had fucking months on you. And only now had Jackson realized it. Yet, Joel seemed indifferent in conveying this to you. You felt that all the air had been knocked out of your lungs, and you turned away, dragging a hand down your mouth to cover your mouth, muffling an oh my fucking god. You reverted back to how you thought about how blissfully unaware you were about all the times they could’ve taken or killed you, or Joel, or– you whipped around to him.

“She cannot go on patrol anymore.” He looked at you with a somber expression, his gaze growing with concern as the lines on his forehead deepened. You didn’t notice as he drew closer to you as you began to think of the worst case scenarios. “I’m sorry, Joel- But she can’t. God forbid something-”

You’d been talking a million miles a minute and staring right into his chest, yet didn’t see his hands coming up to cradle your face and make you look up at him. In his eyes, you saw his worry as you lost yourself in your own head. He saw how troubling you found the entire matter to be, and knew that it would eat at you until it was put to rest.

“Please, don’t let her.” Your hands wrapped over top of his as your voice broke in a final plea.

His hands were rough and calloused, yet when they held you, you’d think that he’d held everything in life this softly. His thumbs ran over your cheekbones, eyes flickering between your own. If the circumstances were different, maybe you’d take your chance and crash into him. But when he looked at you like this? Man, it didn’t get much better than that.

“Yes ma’am.”

In his response that probably should’ve made either of you withdraw, neither of you did. His eyes quickly glanced down at your mouth, and you involuntarily did the same to him. You said his name, but it was barely audible. He brought his hand to the back of your hand and guided you into his chest, wrapping his arm around you.

“Hey,” he cooed, “we’re gonna be okay.”

His words had a profound effect on you. Those simple words said with such an assurance and sincerity that you so desperately wanted to believe him without question. It echoed in your head.

We're gonna be okay.

You don't know when, but at some point over all the years with Joel, it became something more than just surviving together. It became that you were unofficially his, and he was unofficially yours, with no room for anyone but Ellie inbetween. But still, you found yourself wondering if it would ever be more than just that. If he ever felt the same pull, the magnetic force that constantly drew you towards him.

You couldn't help but wonder if he truly understood the depth of your own feelings. If he grasped the significance of these moments that left your heart racing. Did he know how often you spent thinking about him, replaying conversations in your mind, searching for hidden meaning in every word and gesture like you were right now?

You buried your chest into his chest and nodded, a silent acknowledgement at best, allowing his words to sink in for what they were worth.

"Yeah, we're gonna be okay."

You didn't believe yourself for a second.

[wateredwizard]

Ye it's 3 AM, feel like oversharing online

So the thing about me is I'm an absolute clutz. I loose things so much i have basic habits against it (usually creates a mess tho), break things all the time, I have to spill something daily and I have an Aura of Breaking Electronics (love being the person that makes registers malfunction by pure Vibes).

Like it has its' downs and sometimes ups, but the one thing i will never forgive myself is loosing phone numbers. Usually it's no big deal, contact a common aquaintance or wait till next meet up, maybe find them on fb, but i lost two numbers with no recovery chance. I met two very lovely people, on separate occasions, LOVED talking to them. Twice, instead of giving my number or freaking writing theirs down on a piece of paper, i tried inputting theirs directly into my phone, and both times i lost the number (once my phone broke and I lost everything on it the same day, second time the Aura activated, don't even know how it happened, maybe I forgot to hit save or smth)

Ye i feel like shit for it, if I ever find them i will apologize on my knees for this, stg

[troglobite]

lkasdjflkaj

boy howdy i sure do love that our ONLY covid safe friends are now slightly loosening their mask-wearing so now i have to be The Problem and Request that they mask more frequently before we hang out together at any point.

now when they offer to wear masks, my mom is going to fight me if i DO want them to wear masks. (not a hypothetical, LITERALLY happened today. now i get to deal with the fallout of this tomorrow when we have to see them to pick up their car so we can move into our new house. super fun. if i wear a mask, they'll get mad and say they would've worn them. but i'm 100% sure that my mom told them they DIDN'T need to, so what's the point of me wearing one if no one else is? so i just get to be terrified of potential exposure. i'm just fucking TIRED.)

and NOW we're talking abt furniture in the new house and she fucking insists we need TWO places for guests to sleep, to which i said, when is that ever actually going to happen before covid is over?

she basically told me i could shove it.

"stay in your [half of the upstairs] then"

even though

the HVAC intakes are in front of the guest room/office she's talking about and her own bedroom they're literally nextdoor to my bathroom and my hall closet there is no door separating it and i have no kitchen in the upstairs and no ROOM for kitchen stuff upstairs

she was like this for like 6+ months after she got covid

and then she FINALLY went back to fucking normal

and now that her friend/our previously only covid safe friend has loosened her own masking, now she's back to fucking HATING me for WANTING TO BE AS SAFE AS POSSIBLE.

it used to be the 4 of us (me, her, the friend, friend's daughter) who were united and safe and didn't even HAVE to talk about covid AT ALL. it was NICE.

and now i'm completely fucking alone.

it sounds so fucking dramatic but i'm already so isolated because NONE of my friends are covid-safe. literally none, at no point, literally ever, at all anymore. doesn't matter what i say or share or encourage.

i have to be the person where they'll be like "i'll mask for a week before i see you & we can mask then, too! & it can be outdoors!"

and i appreciate it.

but honestly? i don't trust them to actually mask consistently. and they've already had covid and gotten false negative tests. so i don't like the risk.

i'm 1000000% certain they'd forget to mask sometime during the week. and they'd only wear surgical or cloth masks, which don't really do shit.

and i don't really fancy having to give them a week's supply of KN95 masks, explain how to wear them, and then lay out how/when to keep them on and protocols to take to be safe. bc that seems like an asshole move & it's a lot and it sucks and that dynamic sucks ass.

that's too much. but without it, i don't trust them to get it right. it's not even personal. that's just how they are, and i know i can't trust them with that, & i genuinely don't even mean anything by it. it's not even an insult, it's just a fact.

& maybe sometime i'll decide the risk is worth it, if i can get them to wear KN95 while we're hanging out outside somewhere with good air circulation and away from other people. maybe!

but i hadn't felt this fucking bullshit feeling of being constantly on edge and terrified that my mom is going to do something tremendously stupid and dangerous and endanger herself and me w covid since the 6+ months after she got covid.

i stg she just was embarrassed and frustrated she got it. meanwhile i was furious that she LIED to me abt how safe she was going to be, which is the only reason she got sick (that she wasn't safe and she lied to me about it).

so she was sensitive and touchy and angry and just FURIOUS, even though i was constantly terrified by her behavior and that she'd do something stupid AGAIN and get sick AGAIN.

and finally it went back to normal, we didn't have to worry, she was always careful. even when alone in a museum with only her 2 friends, who are also generally safe, she was the only one who kept her mask on. like THAT'S how back to normal we were.

now, thanks to her fucking friend, now she's back to being a fucking asshole about all of it and making me feel fucking crazy. i'm so tired. i'm so sick of being alone.

i want to be HAPPY right now

i wasn't even pushing about the stupid fucking futon bc i don't want people over--though i don't--i was doing it bc she was getting stressed out about how furniture was fitting in her office and i OFFERED that we could simply get a SMALLER one or get RID of it.

her storage & comfort & happiness in her office which she has to use EVERY DAY is, to me, significantly more important than some fucking hypothetical person who's staying at our house during a pandemic without confirming that they're not sick and have been responsible/safe.

and i'm so tired of her fucking lashing out at me when i even MENTION covid safety anymore.

we were in a store on friday & she started scratching at her eye.

i ASKED her to STOP THAT bc she had JUST handled SEVERAL PRODUCTS IN THE STORE. her hands weren't clean! there were studies that eyes are a vector of infection & glasses help protect!

and she JUST KEPT DOING IT! she got MAD at me for saying she should just clean her hands before doing it. i just ??? "maybe don't touch unclean potentially covid- or flu-covered shit and then DIG AROUND IN YOUR FUCKING EYE without CLEANING YOUR HANDS FIRST???"

that's something i would've said BEFORE covid, too, like FUCK!

but nothing matters anymore. i'm just an insane nuisance that everyone hates.

incredible how i WASN'T constantly talking about covid or freaking out when the friend & her daughter WERE JUST RESPONSIBLE AND SAFE.

wild how i DON'T TALK OR WORRY ABOUT IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE JUST SAFE.

almost like I WOULD SHUT THE FUCK UP

IF PEOPLE

FUCKING TOOK IT SERIOUSLY

AND STOPPED TREATING ME LIKE A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT ABOUT IT

[deelovesbooks]

so i only started watching d20 this year and i started with Neverafter man what a ride! I loved it so much and I'll be back to watch it again sometime I love little red and my frog man so much lmao

and then once that was finished, I decided hmm let's do A Crown of Candy that seems fun! And this was of course while I'm in the middle of 3rd year so I don't have A Lot of time and honestly just added to my extremely high stress levels already. (I haven't actually finished the campaign yet 😬 classes ramped up and it much stress abounded lmao I think there's like 4 eps left? After the betrayal and jet dying and meeting Frostwhip and rescuing Jawbreaker I believe I've seen the episode after jawbreaker is rescued and that's the last. I will come back eventually when I'm less stressed and farther from metal breakdown lol)

And then I watched the first and I think second? episode of dungeons and drag queens. And I truly enjoyed it! I will return to watching it and finish it for sure I just got very deep into school and had no time and then breakdown era lmao

Then I watched Mentopolis! My friend and I both watched and talked theories and honestly I loved it. Just so good, I believe made me cry. Will likely rewatch.

And now I am Obsessed with Burrow's End. Like, I don't even know how to put it in words. (Is it probably because Im mentally unwell right now and under vast stress and strain and have been since September? Lmao probably a small contributing factor) but like I have rewatched episodes already in this season it's that fucking good.

And now while waiting for the weekly episode to drop rather than doing any of my truly enormous list of Extremely important and Critical things to do, I decided I haven't had enough of d20 and I needed more Aabria DM in my life rn. So now I am honestly plowing my way through a court of fey and flowers and I'm in love. Ok Chirp and Squawk are truly marvelous and play off eachother so damn well I am in love with these birds and all the bird puns and references they make endlessly bring me joy. And fucking K P Hob omg 😭 truly going to make me cry this fucking goblin man. I don't really know much about this campaign or what happens but I stg if Hob and Rue don't end up together I will be heartbroken. I just finished the hedge maze EP and honestly up to this point just fucking heartbreaking. But like Holy shit honestly the whole cast is killing it and Aabria bringing the fucking thunder and not even like just A game the fucking A+ extra credit graduate early with honors game holy shit. Like I'm not big into regency, I've never read p&p or seen Downton Abbey or Bridgeton but I've read a few books set in that era and have knowledge of the media and like the cadence and tropes of the genre, so like when I say I'm invested so much I'm like sooo invested. I love all the mechanics with the tokens and the letters and the rumors especially it's amazing. Truly revolutionary and groundbreaking and in the least creepy way possible I would give Aabria a kidney her work is just so amazing.

Anyways! The point I started making this with was that I can't wait until I finish acofaf so that way I can actually go through the tags without getting spoiled!

[themology]

jake lockley x fem!reader “to finally have you” 18+ (1 / ?)

ao3 link. | part one. part two. part three. | blog navigation / masterlist. | get added to my taglist. | request here.

@dopeqff: hiii can i request for jake lockley and his first interaction with the reader could be smutty or fluffy or angsty whatever you feel like. maybe for backstory reader is close with marc and steven but nobody has any idea about jake

notes: thank you so much for requesting this! i stg i have so many ideas while thinking of this yesterday; i'm not an incredible writer of smut, i only write it for myself sometimes (don't even ask) but this dude jake lockley is my latest shit so i had to do it... and without further adieu, please enjoy reading horny people <3

summary: he had tried his hardest, just observing you at any given moment, no matter how fleeting your presence was... but why endure when you're all here to have for himself anyways? what's stopping him to finally have you?

warnings/contains: dub-con, some pet names in spanish, explicit content, p in v sex, unprotected sex, creampie, dacryphilia, kinda somnophilia, mild choking, platonic!marc & steven x reader, mentions of marc & steven.

pairing: jake lockley x female!reader.

word count: 2081, approximately 8 minute read.

weeks without contact of both marc and steven had made you feel immediately excited with visiting them, you were on your own, minding your own business in the mall picking groceries and such for dinner when your phone suddenly vibrated, a notification popped and it was a message from steven or marc or perhaps, the both of them.

the way the words were typed was quite odd, marc or steven never usually typed in that way, you've come to get used of the way they would send their texts differently since you three would talk with each other quite a lot in messaging apps, but you really didn't mind anyways, maybe it was the both of them typing it at the same time out of excitement,

they were as excited as you were, a smile was etched on your face like a mad man even if nothing is funny at the moment... you were just too happy to finally see them again,

you have so many ideas of how you were going to spend your day with the two,

and with no hesitation whatsoever, you immediately ventured to their apartment with grocery bags in your hands, you figured that you'll no longer put them in your own flat later since you really didn't wish to go back, so you thought that you'd cook dinner with them instead...

you also didn't mind with how thin your clothing was since all you really planned was to get to a nearby store and fetch some food and ingredient... you know well that marc and steven won't mind at all,

you didn't have to knock on their door, you entered the establishment with ease, it has always been like that, you had always been welcome to their home no matter what,

there sat steven, or marc, or maybe even both... whoever was fronting at the moment with an odd looking sense of style, he wasn't looking at you but you greeted him and he simply hummed in return, slumping on the couch with no care in the world,

you didn't think much of it as you walked past him and into their kitchen,

"i hope you guys don't mind... i mean, you  really don't" you laughed to yourself...

you were then back to were he is, smiling as you sat beside him, he finally glanced towards you, the ivy cap almost covering his eyes but you've noticed how dark it became, maybe it was just you, but anxiety started to build in the shallow pits of your body,

your stomach churned uncomfortably because of the weird feeling that you suddenly got from his presence,

a part of you wish you didn't came over without thinking,

you should've ran away when you noticed the drastic change of his demeanor, that odd looking smile had said so, whoever was beside you was not steven or marc, he said he was waiting for a moment where he could finally talk to you, face to face, just the two of you alone and nobody else in his way... everything happened in a blur,

this doesn't seem like a prank, it's not natural for them to pull such cruel action to you, steven doesn't have the heart to do such thing, the man was too soft spoken, the world doesn't even deserve his kind presence, and marc wouldn't even bother, he's serious and careful, he wouldn't even laugh at jokes you've told him before,

one moment you were face to face with what seemed to be like life and death, the man... naming himself jake lockley was in front of you, saying that he'll do something those two idiots can't do... you wondered if this is the end of it all, you couldn't recognize marc or steven in him despite being... the same person, the same body,

you asked if you were going to get hurt by the last person you ever expect to lay a malicious finger on you,

you felt like he'd do it, he looked as if he'd be someone to wait for you in a dark alley with a knife on his hand... and it felt wrong in so many ways, you know you shouldn't be thinking this way, you could talk out of this with them but the problem is steven and marc was not present...

they never told you about a third alter, the last thing you wanted to know was that they didn't even know about it themselves,

i'll do something those two idiots can

well, you got the answer almost immediately, right there and now,

you didn't know what to do, his kiss ignited something inside of you, not an attraction to steven or marc though, but an attraction to this mysterious person, jake kissed you as if you were his air... and that he needed to have you now than later or else he'd die.

you were then glued on the couch as jake, continued to pound inside of you, moments had gone by, he had already undressed you, fucking you ruthlessly as you tried to keep yourself sane, moans and whimpers filled the dark, quiet room, your desperate voice constantly filled the place,

you thought you were going to experience something that will completely hurt you,

but really... it was quite the opposite, you had never felt this way, sure you explored your body once or maybe twice, your fingers were not enough to satisfy you, and you didn't want to rely on silly toys, it was nothing compared to this,

it was too fucking good, with jake's cock deep inside of you, ready to plant his seed and his balls slapping the side of your folds in the most erotic way possible, sending more pleasure to you whenever it does, jake would rip you in half and you'd still want more,

he would often pull his cock out and then push it forward immediately, all the way in, hitting every corner of your velvet walls, some parts you never knew was there was dominated by his pulsating dick, he fucked you on the couch to the point of oblivion, you would feel yourself clench around him making him let out a low, guttural moan,

a sound that made you even wetter than you already were, then again, he doesn't seemed to mind, making it easier to fuck your already abused pussy without having to try that hard to lubricate your entrance

jake whispered inaudible things in your ear as he continues to rut inside you, sometimes licking your earlobe and the valley of your breasts in an attempt to make you quiver under him, he hits every spot with ease as you cried out for nothing in particular,

he hadn't commented about it whatsoever seemingly liking the way you screamed for him,

"so tight for me mi vida, you like that yeah? you like that a lot?" he grumbled, voice husky and just as desperate as you are.

you needed something to hold on, first it was his shoulder, but it wasn't enough since your whole body was shaking uncontrollably, you often dropped your grasps on his shoulders and you struggled to keep up with his brutal pace... you then moved to his neck up to his hair immediately, but you stopped

"the cap stays on querida" that made you whine, and he wasn't too happy about it, so he started to quicken his pace, jake was basically crushing you this time, his head on your shoulder and your arms clinging desperately on his back,

"'s too much! please... just..."

you yelped, making him chuckle darkly, "take it" he demanded as he removed his head on your shoulder to look down at your disheveled figure, still continuing his assault to you, you could only look back while moaning, tears were falling down your cheek and you couldn't do anything about it,

"fuck, i should've done this a lot sooner"

"look at you, so fucking beautiful, crying because of my cock? do i make you feel so good hermosa?"

you nodded violently, confirming how well he stretched your insides with every violent thrust, accepting the tears that continued to flow, you felt like you were beautiful, and you felt the need to accept what he said, even in his own twisted ways, you knew he was right, and you knew he was going to show you just how beautiful you were despite being fucked hard,

jake spreads your thighs wider than they previously were, giving him more access and more space, making your body slightly ache, you mumbled things to yourself incoherently, "louder" he puts a hand on your neck, squeezing it softly making you gasp and part your lips wide open, your words of pleasure becoming louder for his satisfaction,

"you're too─ god... too big!"

every crevice of your hole was filled with his cock and you can only imagine how it looked, how erotic you looked to be exact, how tears spilled on your eyes, how a thin sheen of sweat is on your skin, the expression etched on your face, your distorted moans and chokes for air, the way jake worked on your clit and the way your back arched for all the pleasure you're feeling all at once,

you know well you wouldn't be able to walk or even stand properly after this, you don't know what will happen after this... and so you wished that this won't end at all,

a few more thrusts and you knew it was both of your breaking points, you could feel fireworks inside of your core and it was only a matter of time until it exploded, you could see stars and could barely make out words as soon as you came from your high, letting out a shaky moan in the process of your orgasm,

"god..."

you choked, as if you were in desperate need of air, dried tears etched on your face as if the angels kissed them for you, more tears threatened to spill, and through your blurry, half lidded eyes, you noticed jake staring at you with amusement,

he knows he made you feel so good...

jake follows shortly after as you felt his warm seed flowing inside of you, tainting your walls white, he continued to move inside before removing his cock shortly after,

admiring the masterpiece he had made, you had felt bits of his cum slide down your cunt because it was quite too much... in which he immediately took notice of, jake leaned in, stroking his dick to collect the substance, bringing it back to your entrance and the action made you shudder.

it felt disgustingly good, this was the filthiest thing you've ever done, this was not the thing you signed up for, you had never imagined yourself doing this, having an intercourse with someone, ever, especially with a friend, a confidant,

what would steven or marc think about this?

you were out of your thoughts when jake started to move again, as if he was an animal in heat, making you yelp in surprise, the feeling of pain and pleasure washing over yiu... "i can't make it!─"

he paused, "close your eyes, you don't have to" fucking you while you're asleep? that caught you off guard, "while sleeping? i... i don't think─"

jake had silenced you with a sloppy kiss, it lasted for seconds until he pulled away, "you won't miss a thing, and maybe you'd dream about it" he chuckled, waiting for your response... you could only whimper "jake..." he caressed your cheeks and waited for you to say anything,

that's the softest jake had ever been despite still fucking you restlessly... despite still being fully clothed on the upper half of his body because of his lack of patience while attacking your lips moments ago, he was pretty much bare, naked... so raw for you, only for you to see, his eyes and his solemn stare,

"you... you make me feel so good..." you conceded.

"yeah... and you want me to stop querida?"

you immediately shook your head. "rest, i'll be here" jake placed a kiss on your forehead as he started to move again,

you knew he meant no harm... in his eyes you were beautiful, in his eyes you felt good, and in his arms you were safe... and so you began to close your eyes under the man you barely knew and now you've come to adore...

you did not regret meeting jake lockley.

additional notes: idk what to say i am terrible at writing smuts. requests and pretty much fics might take a while to be posted because the current situation in the country i am in (philippines) is quite hard and dangerous. the philippine presidential election is being held at the moment.

[werewolf-witchboy]

Tokoyami Fumikage X Male Reader

Being A Witch Boy And Dating Tokoyami

WARNINGS: none uwu

Being a witch has nothing to do with your quirk, you just like practicing the dark arts and witchy things.

I'm not going to mention what your quirk is, so you can imagine that you have whatever quirk you want, or you can imagine yourself as someone without a quirk.

💀 Tokoyami had been fascinated with your hobby of witchcraft ever since he met you. He was most fascinated with the fact that your actual quirk has nothing to do with how your witchcraft works.

🕯 He had already thought you were cute before, and he had been in that time of his life where he was starting to question his sexuality a little- but after you showed him your witchy interests, he fell hard for you.

💀 He may be a dark and edgy birb boi, but he's also quite shy and awkward. He probably would have never confronted you about his crush if you hadn't told him your feelings for him first.

🕯 When y'all started dating, literally everyone was like "FINALLY!!" cuz it was super obvious that the two of you were meant for each other.

💀 When it comes to what type of witch you are, i'd say you're a witch of all traits.

-You love dark and spooky things, but you also love pastel colors and nature.

-Your room in the class 1A dorm is most likely full of plants, candels, a variety of antiques and trinkets, and shit that you can't buy at stores until it's around Halloween time.

🕯 Tokoyami likes to ask many questions about all of the different types of things you do, and he actually pays attention and is super interested. You'll even teach him some new things, and show him how to do them himself.

💀 You love Dark Shadow as much as you love Tokoyami himself. Though they're both very different in personality, you find them both charming and adorable (despite them both saying they're not "adorable," they're dark and spoopy lmao).

🕯 He also loves your animal familiar.

-Your familiar rarely comes out of your bedroom. Since you're dating Tokoyami, you allow him in your room (which means a lot more than he probably thinks it does, cuz spaces where witches do their magic and recharging are very sacred to them) so he gets to see your familiar quite often.

💀 It's rare for familiars to show affection to anyone that isn't their bonded witch, but your familiar absolutely loves Tokoyami.

-They'll hop onto his lap immediately as soon as he sits down in your room.

🕯 Both you and Tokoyami thrive in the darkness, so there are often times where you both hang around in your dimly lit room cuddled up together just talking all day (or even sometimes laying there in comfortable silence).

-You'll be in there together for so long that all of your friends will start questioning where you're both at, and not even realize that you're just in your room.

💀 He obviously likes you a whole lot, but he's super bad at saying it with words. He's just shy and bashful. BUT THEN DARK SHADOW EXPOSES HIM LMAO-

-You'll be standing there looking super cute, and Tokoyami will just stare at you and want to say something so badly. Then Dark Shadow appears and is all like "wOw yOu'Re sUpEr hOt" and Tokoyami just dies right there in the very spot he's standing cuz he can't believe that just happened.

🕯 That's another thing- Tokoyami stares at you a LOT. He even did it before y'all started dating, but now he doesn't even try to hide it.

-You barely noticed at first, but once you started noticing how often you catch him staring at you, you can't help but tease him a little.

-You'll stare at him back, directly in the eyes, and he'll get super flustered and embarrassed.

-Then to calm him down and make him feel less embarrassed, you'll giggle at his flustered-ness and give him a lil beak kiss...which just makes him even more flustered.

💀 He's definitely the type who wants to be a total romantic, and speak all poem-like to you, and shower you with praises, ect. BUT he gets so flustered when it comes to affection, and second-guesses himself when it comes to his ideas of showing affection.

-He's scared of coming off too strong, or seeming to clingy, or even not doing enough, so he never really gets the chance to act out any of how he wants to show affection- and to top it all off he can't help but be absolutely smitten every time you give him affection of any sort, and he'll not know how to react to it.

🕯 You never call him out on his shyness or how he reacts to your affection, you're not offended with any way he reacts to you. You think it's super cute how innocent he seems when it comes to all of this, and of course you encourage any time he gets a little bit of confidence to hold your hand or compliment you (without the help of Dark Shadow lol).

💀 His feathers get all ruffled when he's flustered, and OMFG it's too cute. 🥺😭

🕯 Something that he loves so much is when you borrow his clothes. Because for him, it's kind of a way to show affection towards you without being super direct about it.

-So him being like "you're cold? here, wear my sweatshirt" translates to "TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME, KEEP IT FOREVER, I LOVE YOU FJSKDJFHR-"

💀 Don't come @ me- Tokoyami listens to death metal, but he'd totally vibe with something like kpop if you introduced him to it.

-He's definitely a Loona stan.

🕯 Highkey though, now that I think of it- he probably also listens to Joji and Billie Eilish.

-Like, really moody sad boi hours indie music.

-He'd have Will He playing in his headphones, and he'd be all edgy and in his feelings, but he'd also be doing something like baking cookies at the same time lmfao.

-He'd have a playlist named "songs to cry to," but he'd be listening to it while knitting sweaters for puppies or something.

💀 No, you didn't ask me what kind of music that I think Tokoyami listens to, but you got it anyway. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

🕯 If he's at a store, and sees something kinda spooky looking that makes him think of you, he'd quickly get it and think all day of giving it to you, and he'd want to watch you add it to your collection of lil trinkets and antiques.

-....But he'd chicken out so hard I stg.

-This poor baby would rehearse how he'd give it to you in his head over and over again, and then when the time comes to give it to you, he'd get suddenly so tongue-tied and worried if you'd actually like it or not.

-But, of course, you love whatever he gets you every time. Your always super surprised when he gets you something, cuz it's not your birthday or any special day, and you never expect gifts from people.

-Every time you accept a gift from him, you always want to squeal, tackle him, and shower him with kisses- but you resist doing so with all of your being, cuz you know he'd malfunction.

-Instead you very profoundly thank him many times, and give him one especially loving kiss.

-Seeing your extra surprised and happy reaction always relieves him so much, and it makes him want to do it all over again and gift you a whole shop full of trinkets. His lack of hundreds of dollars is the only thing that stops him.

💀 You're the type of person who wears a lot of black, and scatters bright colors here and there within your look. Your style ranges from goth to pastel e-boy.

🕯 You don't like to change other people's styles or tell other people what to wear, but every once in a while, Tokoyami expresses an interest in dressing like you- which you go NUTS over.

-You'll let him borrow your pastel sweaters, and he'll let you put bright colored hairclips in his feathers.

-He now even owns some pastel colored clothing of his own, that you either gifted him or he secretly bought himself at some point.

💀 He used to be shy about changing up his style every once in a while at first. Whenever you'd take pictures of him wearing bright clothes, he'd softly ask you not to show them to any of the others.

-Eventually he became confident enough to go out in public those rare days he'd wear bright colors, and everyone is always super supportive of the different style.

🕯 He had never been in a relationship with another guy before he started dating you.

-He started questioning his sexuality around the time he started high school, but it was never a priority at first because he was more focused on working hard to get into U.A. and thinking about his future being a hero.

-aNd tHeN hE mEt yOu, and now we're here lol.

-ANYWAYS, y'all go to pride parades together.

-Something he isn't shy about is his sexuality, cuz as soon as he realized how he felt about you, he was all in and that was that.

-Y'all go all out for parades with face and body paint, and shirts with your flags on them, and even sometimes bringing signs and flags to hold up and wave around.

-Some of your friends will come with the two of you, whether they're there because they're also lgbtq+ or just because they support it.

-It's the most social the two of you are the entire year, cuz your both introverted lil emos that don't really talk to many people outside of class 1A.

💀 So yeah- I think Tokoyami is highly underrated and I'm extremely soft for him. He's an emo birb boi, what is not to love.

-I believe in emo birb boi supremacy.

-Rise all Tokoyami stans, we shall take over the entire anime world someday.

[mallowstep]

Twigpaw hadn't ment to overhear--she assumed Onestar thought the Thunderclan apprentice den was empty, and that's why he had attempted to talk to Mistystar so close to it. The minute after the Windclan leader's personal apology had dropped from his lips, an icy hiss had left Mistystar's.

"My youngest son is trapped as a prisoner due to your cowardice, Onestar. Because you were too ashamed to take care of your kits! Five of my warriors are dead, one of them being my other son's mate, leaving their young kits without a mother. Don't fucking apologize to me. Especially when both of us know Windclan was far more welcoming of outsiders when Tallstar was leader, and you knew he would have welcomed that queen and her kits into your clan. You brought this onto the clans! You did! If Reedwhisker dies, I assure you, I WILL take your remaining lives." The Riverclan leader had hissed, voice smooth as ice.

Twigpaw had never been quite so scared of the riverclan leader before in her life.

oh my god this is so good go OFF mistystar my beloved.

i think the scene in shattered sky is after reedwhisker is rescued? but i could b wrong, 0 memory of avos. regardless, regardless, more importantly, i just realized something.

skyclan doesn't know Shit about tigerstar? dang. so much potential but like. they wouldn't Know. this is when twigpaw is in skyclan i think? i don't remember? twigpaw bounces so much i stg. but either way like.

they're all in thunderclan's camp and most cats don't know, actually.

like. bramblestar and feathertail being angry at each other because "this isn't the time, feathertail" "when the fuck is, bramblestar?" and like. hawkwing is just. trying to figure out what the fuck happened.

"violetpaw do you know what's going on"

"dad i'm a child"

but also like -- riverclan and skyclan are now besties because they Fucking get it.

"a tyrant invaded your home?"

"yeah did urs kill a bunch of people?"

"yeah. did urs kill the deputy?"

"yeah omg let's be besties"

hnng. yes. leafstar sees what's up between mistystar and onestar. onestar hit a Deeply Personal Nerve. and maybe i don't know.

("Well, we need to work together. Now isn't the time to bring that kind of thing up," Tawnypelt says, her tail tip twitching against the ground. "He apologized. Do you want to get your land back or not?"

"Shut the hell up," Feathertail hisses. "You don't get a voice in this."

Violetpaw glances between the two of them. She's probably not supposed to be here, but she was looking for Twigpaw and now the only way out of the apprentice's den is to walk between them, and she thinks that would make everything worse.

"You can't -- he's trying to make up for this, Feathertail. And regardless of how you feel about it, we need WindClan to get RiverClan's territory back."

Feathertail scoffs. "Remind me, next time ShadowClan destroys RiverClan, to just not care about it."

Next time?)

and violetpaw would definitely try to track down who to ask about this. maybe she starts with alderheart? foster dad and all that.

("Did something happen between ShadowClan and RiverClan?"

Alderheart's whiskers twitch. "They've been at odds for as long as I've been alive. I think it's just -- one of those things."

Violetpaw sighs, but she sees Mothwing looking at them. The golden she-cat blinks a few times, then licks her shoulder. Alderheart follows her gaze.

"She might know about it." He licks her on her head. "You know I've missed you, right?"

Violetpaw's ears flick. Sometimes it's harder, to let herself think about what might have been.)

hm. mothwing would -- she didn't live through it, but,

("We've been enemies since before I was born," Mothwing says.

"Feathertail said next time. Like this wasn't the first time."

Mothwing sighs. "That was -- a long time ago. Feathertail was about your age." Her ears fold back slightly. "Mistystar never forgave Blackstar."

Violetpaw's nose twitches. "You're avoiding the point."

Mothwing takes a long, deep breath. "It's not a story I've had to tell for a long time, Violetpaw, and it's not a good story. ShadowClan -- has not had a good past. And this is the second time RiverClan has been the victims of ShadowClan's errors." She closes her eyes for a moment. "But -- there was a leader of ShadowClan who...convinced the leader of RiverClan to join forces. And he was responsible for a lot of hurt to my mother, and all of RiverClan."

Mothwing stands. "I want to go check on some of our cats.")

ah violetpaw. just trying to know. yeah. ironically, if someone told her the story like a fable, she'd probably relate to tawnypelt.

but at some point, someone should really explain to skyclan why shadowclan and riverclan are at odds.

(Squirrelflight is the one to take Leafstar aside.

"RiverClan and ShadowClan haven't agreed to anything in years," she starts. "So -- sorry about that. Tends to make a lot of decisions endless bickering." Her whiskers twitch.

"I noticed." Mistystar and Russetstar are on neutral enough terms, but as soon as someone suggests a course of action, they never end up on the same side.

"They've got history."

Leafstar takes a deep breath, trying not to let Squirrelflight's uncharacteristically meandering speech to irritate her.

"I just -- we just--" Squirrelflight takes a deep breath. "You should know. It was a long time ago, before I was born. Bramblestar was an apprentice. ShadowClan and RiverClan joined together, tried to force the other Clans to join them. But -- RiverClan had four known half-Clan cats in it at the time."

Leafstar's tail twitches. Being half-Clan seems entirely foolish to her. She has no "Clan blood," but she has nine lives and as many bones to pick with StarClan as the rest of them.

"Mistystar, Stonefur, Stormheart, and Feathertail," Squirrelflight says, and things begin to make sense. "RiverClan's never forgiven ShadowClan. Usually, we just try to keep them apart, but...")

i don't know what's going on i wanted russetstar but darktail would have to take over shadowclan a different way and look. that's not important. the important thing is u got me thinking.

[yuvon-writes-letters]

Wow..you really replied...

In case you want to know, I'm laughing now. Maybe you can, too? :)

When I wrote my first letter I only had access to your first one...All the others, also the ones from Rai, came through shortly after I sent mine. And I am still mindblown.

Sooo, where to start now? [Words crossed out mutliple times] Oh, I know! You are right, I am still able to hold contact with everyone in my world (it feels so weird to write that!!) except for the Duskwood group. It is my third stasis and the last one took almost 4 months, at least if counted right. But it seems..different than before.

What I mean when saying this is: I went out today and I saw some of the 'I am Jake' stickers (this happened with you too, right? I still cannot believe that) that people put everywhere in my city. When the whole I thing started I saw some boys from my neighborhood putting some stickers in place, even filming a video. I have to admit, I only trusted myself to do a picture when it happened... [the next words are a bit difficult to read] But I a_ dig_ess__g.

[They're readable again] Sorry, I had to search a different pen!! So, continuing my weird story. I saw those boys again when I went out to buy some things to cook tonight (I wanted to make something chinese...). And I don't know why, but I got the absoluetely GREAT (not) idea to ask them about the stickers. Why they put them there.

Maybe my time with the Crow-Crew (hehe, I like that) from Duskwood made me do as dumb things as just breaking in somewhere.

But the reply of the boys was very weird...They asked me what stickers I meant and when I told them they said they looked cool but never once saw them before. And I know those boys. Normally they would not lie to me. But maybe I'm just becoming paranoid, too.

But yeah, that was what happened...And still no message from anyone in Duskwood. Honestly, I really miss my Jake. It was complicated, but...he started to open up so much. Started imagining what would happen if the both of us just would run away together (even though he'd never do it..my safety...) :) But yeah [again there is a single tear stain], could you tell your Jake I said hi? It's not the same, but..yeah...

I hope you're feeling well,

Liska🐾🔥

[The text seems to be written very hastily] Ps. Oh my..I [words crossed out]. I didn't think I would add more to the letter. But I just wanted to send it (like the last one). In this moment I'm staring at a call I'm getting. Unknown...

[Heyho, real person behind Liska. I hope that's not too far-fetched xD]

Liska,

Huh. I wonder why it sent like that. Maybe the eldritch entity of trees and whatever the hell is happening anymore messed up? If so, that’s actually pretty relieving, knowing it CAN mess up.

Four months? Oh hell. I do NOT want to be stuck in this damn place for FOUR MONTHS. I need to find a way out asap.

Yeah, the #IAmJake happened here too; and while Rai didn’t specifically confirm nor deny whether it happened in their world they didn’t ask surprised at all when I mentioned it, and their Jake was okay with us using his name. So, it seems like our universes have that in common, at least.

Crow Crew XD   I’m gonna have to steal that sometime.

That’s... very odd, about the stickers, though. I have no idea what the hell is up with that. Maybe the entity has trouble filtering everything related to Duskwood in your world? Maybe that’s why I’m in here instead, easier to control one person and freeze a world than to specifically filter for things relating to the Duskwood case. Maybe some stuff slipped through the cracks.

Jake is probably I can understand Jake fairly well. What I don’t understand is his stance on our feelings. I tend to take the attitude of “shove it all in a box and forget it exists” towards issues like this, but you saw how well that worked out when I finally told Jake everything.

I left out some of the more personal stuff, since I wasn’t sure whether or not you wanted Jake to hear it, even if it’s not “your” Jake, but I said hi to him for you. He says hi back. He’s been fairly sympathetic towards you in between trying to deal with the damn trees, and he told me to assure you that whatever was keeping your Jake from contacting you, it had absolutely nothing to do with Jake himself nor his pursuers.

“Unknown”? That, uh, sounds. Well. Interesting. Let me know how that one turns out. There’s a limited number of people I can think of who that’d likely be (plus spam callers XD), and only one of them is someone I’d particularly like to speak to.

Thanks for the well-wishes, Liska. You too, especially since you’re actually in a place where you can be injured...

—Yuvon

(The letter tucks itself in the paper clip with the others.)

(For the most part, I’m going to try to avoid going out of character on this blog. However, I’ll make an exception this time.

I already have my entity, its MO, its motivations, and the very basic plot progression of this blog (if Yuvon and Jake can stop obsessing over the fucking trees for ONE second, I stg I made Yuvon’s character and I still don’t understand the shit she does sometimes) mapped out, plus exactly how much I’m going to address the current pause between episodes. Some bits of all this are going to be kind of insane, so don’t worry about things being far-fetched. However, whatever Yuvon thinks, the entity she’s dealing with and whatever’s causing your character’s situation don’t quite match up, so our characters can’t work together on that front.

Feel free to make your own entity, though, if you want to. There’s definitely enough of the reality warping amoral bastards to go around, and Yuvon will still help Liska however she can.

Oh. One tip for interacting with this blog, since no one’s quite done this yet, and you sort of need to very soon for Yuvon’s next little plot arc.

Yuvon is not a reliable narrator. Yuvon lies.

Sometimes, you may need to confront her on this.

If you ever need a hint, ask or message @yuvon-augold79​ the word “hint”, and specify what you’re stuck on, and I’ll come up with one.)

[prettylikeadevil-swift]

Hey Taylor!

We wanted to put together a project to show you how much we love you and your songs! We’re all so so so excited for Lover and all the new songs, the memories made listening to the album, at tour and making and meeting heaps of new friends!!

So here’s a bunch of incredible people’s stan songs and why the love them so much! @taylorswift

Debut

Harishita (ig, @tayalisonswift) - I love this song because the lyrics are so relatable with me sometimes; especially when I am sad

Heidi (@heidilovestay137) - Tim McGraw has been my Stan song ever since I was 8 years old! It has helped me through all my rough patches in life and has just always been the song I go to when I’m feeling sad or happy!! The song brings back so many precious memories and it will always hold a special place in my heart! So thank you so much Taylor, for writing the song that made my life complete💖

Marta (@mlswiftie) - I’ve never really had a favourite Taylor Swift song mainly due to the fact that every single one of them is a masterpiece. However I feel like I relate to Invisible the most… every time I hear this song it somehow makes me feel less lonely cause other people are going through the same thing as me.

Sarah (@sarah-adores-swift) - this song has helped me through basically everything bad in my life. no matter what is happening, its relevant. the emotion is completely raw and just gets out the tears so you can heal :)

Haley Grace (@stateofhaleygrace) - I relate to every single word of this song and it has helped me a lot throughout my life, especially as a teenager. It is very empowering and I love to sing it at the top of my lungs!

Fearless

Rachel (@happy-for-swift) - Forever and always has always been by my side through those tough times by reminding me that the hard times will pass.

Alina (@itsaswiftstory) - Love Story means so much to me because it is such a happy song and it always makes me smile while listening to it! It was one of the first Taylor songs I was listening to and it just amazes me because it is so beautifully written! I don't even know why I love it so much but it always lifts up my mood!💗💗💗

Emilee (@emileelovestaylor) - Change is my Stan because it is just a strong message, and as someone with white skin (and I mean this in the nicest way possible) I want to work with the privilege I have to shine light on marginalized communities. This song pumps me up to do just that, and the melody is gorgeous.

Febe (@13taylorswift13ts) - Love Story was the first song that I heard of Taylor. That was the moment I knew that she was going to be a special person for me

Sammy (@sammylovestay13) - The song Fifteen has always been special to me because I’m always nervous on the first day of school and it’s reminder that I’m not the only one who feels this way. The song Out Of The Woods has always been a special song for me and the fact that Taylor chose New Zealand to do her music video makes me even more grateful that this song is in my life.

Jane (@janeheartstaylor) - I love forever and always because it’s not only was the first song by Taylor that I heard but it also helped me when one of my closest friends and I parted ways. even though the scenarios are different, it felt really nice knowing that I could turn to Taylor and this song and having someone who understood what was going on.

Sarah (@theirgetawaycar) - Change means the absolute world to me. It’s a song that’s been there comforting me in my times of need. When things get tough, it’s a source of hope and reminder things will get better. No matter what happens in life and what struggles I face these things will change.

Speak Now

Bella (ig, @tayobsession13) - This song means a lot to me because it describes my relationship with my best friend. I have the time of my life fighting dragons with her

Clara (@claraisreadyforit) - I love this song because i can really relate with the lyrics, they make me feel better when i’m down, and i always sing along!

Sarah (@theswiftiesarah) - The story of us means the absolute world to em. It’s such a fun, uplifting song with such emotional lyrics. I can’t thank you enough for writing it T, it’s helped me through so much and always puts a smile on my face 💞

Kat (@tookapxlaroidofus) - Haunted is such a powerful song, and it’s one of those that you can sing your heart out to and it will get you out of any bad mood you were in! The violins! The bells! The whole production of the song, and the tour version! It’s also a song I listened to a lot with my mum when I was younger because we loved to sing it together! It’s a beautiful and powerful song that I’ll forever love!

RED

Mika (@handstiedtaylor) - all too well means so much to me because of how powerful the lyrics are. it really showcases taylor's talent as a songwriter and her voice sounds so so beautiful in it. i was lucky enough to hear it on the red tour & again as a surprise song on the reputation stadium tour, so this song also had some incredible memories attached to it💗

Nina (@ninaheartstaylor) - I love that song because it always cheers me up when I'm sad or in a bad mood! I relate to the lyrics a lot because I basically did exactly the things you (Taylor) are singing about. It means A LOT to me because I love the line "like we're made of starlight"! when I'm in a bad mood I just think of that lyric and I'm happy again because it reminds me of how everyone matters and is important.

Abby (@cleanspeech) - i love this song so much. it is a deep song about how fame can really be and it is important to taylor. i love this song because as soon as i heard it, i kept it on repeat for hours when red came out. this song is so glamorous and beautiful and the beat and lyrics are amazing. i love this song so much!

Jasmine (@alltootwell) - All too well means so much to me because the story and emotions behind it are so raw and real. It was one of the first songs I heard from the Red album and it has always been one of my favourite songs since then. This song has showed Taylor’s growth the most in that we’ve seen Taylor’s most vulnerable moments when singing the song and Taylor’s happiest moments when singing the song and realising that millions of people know all the words to the song 💓

Chloe (@thechainonyourneck) - sad beautiful tragic means the world to me because of the depth of the lyrics and melody. this song has gotten me through so much shit and it's just so so beautiful I stg. headphones in and rain outside, it's just perfect. and onto dbm. I listened to reputation and fell in love with this song. the vocals and the prospect of seeing it live just made me fall in love. and when I finally did see it live it literally took me to church in a crying emotional state 💀 will be forever grateful to you @taylorswift for writing these two masterpieces and for not losing the ability to hit home with your lyrics over time. I love you and much you love writing, forever and always 💓💖💕💞💗

1989

Lola (me!! @lolaheartstay) - hey Taylor!! i love ootw so much because it’s such a banger and it never ever gets old,, it was also rep tour auckland’s surprise song which was so special, it was the best day of my life! I remember when Taylor was in New Zealand filming the music video and I was so excited that she was actually in my country, like for real. when I went to australia in 2015 i listened to out of the woods on the plane, it was the first time i’d heard it and i literally listened to it on repeat for the full four hour flight, i was obsessed! one of my favourite lyrics is ‘two paper aeroplanes flying’ and i’ve always planned to get a tattoo of a paper aeroplane for this song! i really hope one day we can hug and i can tell you in real life how much i love out of the woods and you! love love love, lola!! <3

Brittany (ig, @awesomeswifties13) - This song means so much to me because at the time it came out I was in a very bad/abusive relationship and was dealing with an addict. This song gave me the strength to get CLEAN and leave the relationship. I’m now 3 years sober!mI hope can hug taylor someday and just say thank you!

Joji (@youfeltenough) - Clean means so much to me because it really helped me let go of things that kept me from being happy, thank you Taylor 💓

Priscila (@newromanticsss89) - The reason why I love New Romantics is because I can dance to it like no one is watching. It really makes me feel good about myself. My favourite lyric is “the best people in life are free” and I 100% agree with that! 🌼💗

Georgia (@celebrationofswifties) - new romantics is such a beautiful song & it makes me so so happy, it is the BEST song to dance like crazy to!!

Lauren (@thenameofbeinghonest13) - Out of the woods is a song that I’ve been obsessed with since Oct. 27, 2014, when 1989 came out. This song was so meaningful to me because I would listen to it every day in the car on the way to school with my Dad. I love the lyric, “the rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color” and am so happy that Taylor wrote this song!

Gabriella (@ycuareinlove) - you are in love was instantly one of my favourites from 1989 but after seeing it live I became obsessed. I think getting to sing it with Taylor felt so special and every time I hear it I just think of us doing the echo part with her. I’ve always been a daydreamer and thinking about love and having that for myself one day has always comforted me, and the song just explains everything I ever want in future relationships. it’s the dreamiest, most beautiful song and I can’t explain how magical it is to me. it just feels like home every time I listen to it. 💗

Liv (@longlivthemagic) - This song has a special place in my heart, because i used to always play it whenever i was having a panic attack to calm me down <3

Jaimie (@taylorswiftlet13-hk) - I love the song New Romatics because it reflects ME! As a person. The song is extremely catchy and the lyricism is amazing. Throughout my life, I have been bullied and in the end, I built a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me, and became a stronger person overall. Thank you so much for everything you do Taylor. I love you so much.

Sanya (@delicateswift1989) - Blank Space was the first song that I heard and I loved it immediately.It always cheers me up and will always be a special song for me

Bella (@bellaheartstay) - clean means so much to me, as it’s helped me through the toughest times and has inspired me to keep going :)

Reputation

Lydia (@yourmarkonswift) - I love Dress so so so so much because the kind of the detail of storytelling in the song is just so heart touching. The bridge is one of the best bridges Taylor has ever written and makes me emotional all the time.

Alexander (@alexanderadorestay) - King of my heart is my favourite Taylor song because I have made many memories while listening to the song plus the chorus 😍

Ginger (@gingeryswift) - I love New Year’s Day because the reputation album came out right when I was going through a fallout with an old friends and NYD hit me hard. The lyrics were everything I needed and more and overall, the line “please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere” resonated with me so much because it was exactly how I felt at the time. 💗💗

Kendall (@kendallovestay) - I love getaway car because it has such incredibly written lyrics and it just makes me feel so nostalgic and happy 💓

Naomi (@naomilovestay) - At my reputation concert, metlife n1, i was in the front row of the b-stage where you sang dress. In that moment, i felt like it was just you & me in the room. I will forever be thankful for that experience. I love you so so much & i hope we can hug soon!! xoxo naomi!!

Hunter (@tayloroftodayy) - my stan song is getaway car because it has such an interesting and powerful storyline and always cheers me up and puts me in the best mood. you can listen to it when you’re feeling any emotion and it’s the best thing EVER 💗

Hayley (@delicate-stan13) - Delicate is my stan song because it helps me get through all my rough days. And it’s really fun to sing and dance to!!

Olivia (ig, @olivialovestaylor7) - hi I’m olivia and gorgeous is my favorite song of taylor’s because it is such a beautiful and happy song!! it captures the way you feel when you start liking someone perfectly and it’s just SO soft🥺🥺along with that it’s just a fun bop that you can literally listen to whenever! thank you so much taylor for writing gorgeous💕 

Emily Grace (@longlivetaysxift89) - I love CIWYW because I can personally relate to the lyric “I’m doing better than I ever was” because I’ve had to deal with a lot of mental health problems and right now I’m truly doing better than I ever was

Ella (@taylorsoldbluejeans) - i love delicate because it is such a beautiful song that can cheer me up no matter what! 🌈💓

Bessie (@flyawayswift) - Hey my name’s Bessie and New Year’s Day is my favourite song because it NEVER fails to make me cry, and it’s the most beautiful and delicate song in the world!! I’m so grateful to Taylor for writing such a masterpiece

Alexa (@kingsofmyyheartt) - I love king of my heart because it’s a pretty, happy, calm song that has a beautiful bridge and has such pretty lyrics! No matter what it’s sure to put a smile on my face!

Mia (@thisloveisdelicate) - I love the song delicate because is shows how your friends have to like you for who you are and that they aren’t gonna change you!!

Tayla (ig, @islandbreezeswift) - this is why we can't have nice things is my favourite song by Taylor because it helped me in a rough time when one of my friends kept stabbing me in the back while shaking my hand. the lyrics to tiwwchnt were extremely relatable, it felt like it was written for me. even though i'm no longer going through problems like this, this song is a bop and makes me dance!! thank you Tay for this song, ily from Tayla xoxo

Kartik (ig, @indianswifty) - On New Year’s Day I proposed to my girlfriend and this is our favourite rep song

Lena (@the-swiftie-scientist) - Call it What You Want reminds me how much Taylor had to struggle to find someone who stood by her no matter what 💫 it shows how important it is when you find someone who loves you for the things you are and doesn't care about rumors and gossip, someone who will stand by your side even when 'they took the crown' ... Also, it has a personal significance for me as it reminds me of how someone I love literally runaway with me on late November flying above the whole scene 💗 It's definitely Taylor's softest and most precious song, I will love it forever 💕

Sveva (@newtaylor89) - I was going through some bad times at school when i first heard this song. I was starting to have anxiety attacks, I started to avoid my friends hangs out and started pushing everyone away. Luckily my real friends stayed with me and helped me through that dark period of my life and so did this song. Now every time i listen to it i remember that my friends and Taylor will stay with me "when it's hard or it's wrong or I'm making mistakes". THANK U TAYLOR, FOR WRITING THIS EMOTIONAL SONGS, I'LL NEVER THANK U ENOUGH FOR WHAT U HAVE DONE TO ME! ILY

Mikayla (@weweredxncing) - The reason why i love this song so much is because whenever I listen to it, I just feel happy. It gives me hope that in the future I might find as love like that.

Lover

Laura (ig, @frenchbabytay) - I love ME! Because Taylor talked in my language with Brendon, she’s feeling better after her bad moments and the music video is like Shake It Off!!! It’s so funny and she makes me dance!!!!

Anne (@annewantstomeettaylor) - Me - ee - ee, ooh - ooh - , ohh - ooh - ooh ! This song really means to me because every time my anxiety and depression attacks me this song gives me light and joy. And every time I feel conscious about myself this song makes me realize that I'm the one of me ! I can't explain the happiness I feel every time I hear this song. ILY T !  ♡♡♡

Olivia (@so-ready-for-it) - I love the song ME! So much because it’s all about embracing your individuality, and I’ve struggled with my low self esteem for such a long time, and the positive message of the song reminds me that I’m unique and perfect in my own way 💓

[jyndor]

Cop-thing-anon here:

(I don't believe in the blue lives matter thing by the way)

I do get where you're coming from. I guess I see the thing about cops and cop AUs differently because the police is different and not as fucked up in my country. The thing about the fanart is just..I think you're reading too much into it. I don't think the artist really focused on the skin colour of Sokka, I mean, it's a kids show. Skin colour was never really mentioned or important in atla. But Sokka's personality is most likely why the artist was inspired to draw him as a "gangster", with azula (the villain) being a cop. It is kind of insensitive to draw that with the events going on, but I think that a lot of people in the fandom take some things way too seriously, for a kids show back in the late 2000's anyway.

hey anon, I say this with love and I am being sincere. I'm gonna need you to rewatch the show if you think skin color didn't matter. and it doesn't matter where you live because there is no part of the world, no culture, that isn't shaped by colonialism. I don't mean to be condescending so please bear with me, I truly believe in educating people as a part of allyship and anti-racism.

Anon, please know that I am not angry or anything but sincere in what I’m about to say. Just bear with me because I know that unlearning shit is difficult and can be painful, but we’ve gotta do it. I do appreciate you wanting to have this conversation at all. And I’m not writing this just for your benefit - this is for anyone who wants to learn about why A) race is a part of ATLA’s narrative and B) why critical analysis of mass media is actually important. So I’m not assuming you don’t know basic things about this stuff, I’m not trying to be condescending.

Now we’re gonna fix colonialism and imperialism XD wee okay here we go.

No matter where you live in the world you have some awareness of skin color. Your understanding of race might be different than mine, in fact it probably is. Race as we know it today is a social construct that stems from many things (and I wrote several hundred words on it but it was too much and too far removed from the point I’m trying to make so I edited all of that out. Yay.)

You don’t usually see imperialism, one of the major themes in Avatar, without colonialism. Imperialism is slightly different than colonialism - you can think of it like the ideology behind the practice of colonialism.* Imperialism can be used to describe expansionism in general - which has been going on since the bronze age lol humans, I stg - but usually when people today refer to colonialism and imperialism they’re talking about imperialism starting in the 17th century.

Now imperialism is not just a European concept. ATLA is set in a world that we know is supposed to be like a combination of different Asian cultures (with some influences from the Americas). And the Fire Nation is clearly influenced by Imperial Japan. So briefly:

Japan had a policy of sakoku (chained or closed country) which kept it mostly isolated (out of concerns that Japan would fall victim to something like the Opium Wars in China, among other things) from the rest of the world for a couple hundred years until the 1850s when a US Naval commander named Matthew Perry (I am not kidding) forced Japan to open its borders for trade to the United States by gunboat diplomacy, an oxymoron if I have ever seen one before.

Japan ended up signing unequal treaties with a lot of Western countries, and this bred xenophobia and hostility in Japan. The Emperor who signed these treaties died of smallpox, and after some internal conflict his son decided try to renegotiate these treaties. The US and European countries were not interested in renegotiating dick but the mission wasn’t unsuccessful because the diplomats A) exchanged some islands with Russia and B) were inspired by western economic policy and society to “modernize” Japan. Japan began industrialization and it converted to a market economy with the help of the US and other western powers.

So over many years, Japan went to war with China, Korea, Russia (and took back some of the land they exchanged with them), and others. From wikipedia:

Using its superior technological advances in naval aviation and its modern doctrines of amphibious and naval warfare, Japan achieved one of the fastest maritime expansions in history. By 1942 Japan had conquered much of East Asia and the Pacific, including the east of China, Hong Kong, Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Burma (Myanmar), Malaysia, the Philippines, Indonesia, part of New Guinea and many islands of the Pacific Ocean.

But ATLA is not a Japanese story. The Fire Nation is not Imperial Japan. The Earth Kingdom is not China or Korea, the Air Nomads are not Tibetan monks, and the Water Tribes are not Inuit. The creators definitely drew heavy inspiration from all of these places and others, but ATLA is a story written by American people in the United States for American kids. It is an American story.

And it was created at a time when the United States was victimizing people in Afghanistan and Iraq (and other places) in many similar ways to how the Fire Nation victimized people. In fact, the show starts in the Southern Water Tribe, which represent Inuit people, indigenous people in Alaska, Canada and Greenland, I think it’s safe to assume that the genocide being referenced here is not one by Japan but rather by European colonizers and later by the United States and Canada.

Imperialism is in the show’s DNA. 

And so is racism. In our world they are inherently connected. And visual cues from the show along with things the characters say suggest that we are meant to make the comparison between our world and the ATLA world. Every story has a purpose - it doesn’t have to be political, but for Avatar it is political, it is anti-imperialist.

In this article about how ATLA resonates with us in 2020, Aina Khan of the Guardian interviews Professor Ali A Olomi about using ATLA to teach at Penn State. “One of the things we see with the Fire Nation is the ideological justification for what they’re doing. We are a glorious civilization. We have abundance, we have wealth, we have technological advancement; we need to share it with the rest of the world. That’s almost word for word European colonisation.”

Zuko and Azula both call Katara a peasant. In fact, Azula calls her a dirty peasant. This is one step away from calling her a s*vage I mean come on. While peasant might just be purely classist (lol no) because Zuko and Azula are royalty, um it’s clearly racialized classism because of real life context. There is real history with colonizers calling indigenous people this, dismissing their cultures as primitive and barbaric.

Add into the mix colorism, which is bias against darker skin and privileges fair skin (which is a byproduct of imperialism) and you have clear race shit happening in Avatar.

When I saw that fanart, I was immediately reminded of black lives matter of course, but mainly of the fact that indigenous peoples are also at high risk of being victimized by police. Not just in the US. And how gross it is to depict a colonizer like Azula as an angry cop (representing the state) turning her gun on an indigenous man who is dressed like a gangster which... yike.

Mass media influence everything we do. The messaging we get, our politics, what we want to eat for dinner because we’re hungry and have been writing this stupid essay for three hours LOL. It’s important that people think critically about what they consume. Otherwise you get the goddamn United States with half of our population stanning a racist fraud. You want to know why US Americans are so ignorant? Because our education system sucks, because we don’t have any real media literacy. But apparently the rest of the world has some fucking nerve making fun of Americans** because all of us suck at it. No one is thinking critically about media.

A really terrifying thing about people is our ability to take whatever message we want from stories, even if it is in direct contradiction with the narrative of a story. There’s a movie called American History X which is explicitly anti-fascist, but because it’s a drama and Ed Norton is cut and looks badass and uncucked or whatever LOL, the iconography in that movie is fairly popular with neo-nazis. Yike. This is not at that level of course, this is some random niche fanart for a rare pairing.

For better or for worse, US media and entertainment gets a lot of attention and people around the world eat it up. Maybe you don’t need to know every little detail about US American shit, and I know we tend to dominate media, but black lives matter is not just a 2020 thing. People have known about it for years, since it started. If that fanart was created in 2019, which I think it was, the BLM movement had already existed for six years. If you’re watching an American show like Avatar and you’re making fanart on social media but you don’t know what BLM is in 2019... well educate yourself lmao.

Considering that Black fans have expressed frustration and discomfort in fandoms over and over again, and I am sure indigenous fans have too because fandoms are racist sometimes, it’s important that white fans help make fandoms better. And I am a white fan, and I consider myself an anti-racist. Which means I have to be active about racism when I see it.

btw I found this great essay by @cobra-diamond which you should read if you want more details about the similarities between Japan and the Fire Nation.

* that is very reductive but it’s fine lol

** I am kidding, unless you are english feel free to make fun of americans for non-gun, non-trauma related things pls