#I stayed friends with Justin for a long time after we broke up

[rothjuje]

I forgot how insanely busy life is up here. January, February, and March are dead months. No one wants to do anything, the skies are grey, it’s too cold to play outside for long. April people start to come alive again, and May is an onslaught of events. There was an entire week where every day I was double-booked, I’m still recovering.

That’s probably the biggest culture shock to me. People think I’m antisocial and weird for not wanting to run from thing to thing to thing all the time. The amount of events and things to do here that everyone else is doing that I’m expected to do is crazy. The people pleaser in me is very quickly learning how to say no. I honestly don’t know how people have the energy to keep up. I think there is a collective burnout up here. People trying to do all the things all the time. I *mourned* when it was time for winter to take over. No one else did, and now I finally get why. Winter is a break from the madness here. And, honestly, I kind of miss it.

There have been so many things rattling around my brain this month that I’ve wanted to process on here, but I’ve been running around all day long and then dealing with 15 chickens in my basement and then promptly passing out from exhaustion.

I love life in New England, it’s a delicious adventure that makes my soul feel alive, but the FOMO is real. It’s a vibe up here. It’s such the culture that today instead of chilling with the kids at home, I took them to some crazy park, and this was without any social pressure, I just felt guilty/weird about relaxing at home because it feels like a sin here.

May 21st of last year was when we first saw this house in person. I remember looking at this house online and getting a weird vibe. I told Justin a few days before our house hunting trip that “there’s a house at the top of our budget in Georgetown but I think we could get it because it’s very dated for the price.” And that is exactly what happened. I am (so) relieved everything happened the way it did. I love Groton but it is so far from the beach and everything else. Plus we’ve made a few good friends in Georgetown and I’m not sure it would have happened so easily in Groton. And the size of our town is perfect, the surrounding towns are a bit too small (no real town center or restaurants) but Georgetown has its own school district, CVS, and several restaurants including Best Bagel which also has the best coffee (we have a DD too but their coffee is no bueno). I don’t think I could go back to living in a bigger town after this, Danvers feels like the city to me and I get panicky whenever I have to go to the Target there, real first world problems over here haha.

The chickens got so big so fast. We ended up with 4 roosters we had to rehome and it broke my heart. We were down to 11 but then I rescued a buff Orpington that was injured from a feed store. I named her Honey and she is the sweetest, smartest bird. I’m obsessed with my 12 ladies (well, 11 ladies and 1 gentleman that I am going to keep), I could watch them all day. They have such an interesting social structure, I had them in 3 separate brooders and all the birds from one brooder would stay together during group time with a very clear pecking order. It was like having 3 separate flocks of birds even though they all hung out for an hour every night. The girls from two brooders were moved to the coop this weekend and the girls are still in two separate groups of 4, they barely interact with each other. I was absolutely desperate to get them out of my basement but of course now that they are outside I am rather sad about it. I’m going to love on my 4 inside still and try not to get any bad ideas like ordering Polish hatching eggs off EBay…

[joe9cool]

Collide-Justin Herbert-25

A/N: Disclaimer. I do not know The Chargers or know anyone associated with The Chargers. This is all for fanfiction purposes only 

The Battle of Los Angeles.

As she settled into the suite with Joe, Alisha, and a couple of Joe's family members and even AnnSophie joined since her ex decided to take Lexi on a whim and she had a Guess fashion meeting.

It was a good day. The group took a limo to the stadium, and as usual, the drinks were flowing. Thankfully no one was hungover from their New Year's Eve festivities.

They had a great view of everything and everyone. Sara noticed AnnSophie was staring at the camera view of Joey running on the field. "gets ya all turned on doesn't it?" Annie broke from her trance. "Stop I'm just taking in my first NFL game."

"Looking at Joseph in his tight workout gear is a bonus isn't it?" She mocked her friend's voice."

"Just shut up and enjoy the game" a moment of silence then her friend stated. "He still has that amazing body."

Sara laughed and her friend joined in. "So listen, you know I love Justin but I have to ask. From what can you recall, how was Joey in the sack?"

She expected Annie to scold her since she was usually so reserved when it came to sex. However she was surprised. "The times we would get together. We'd fuck like rabbits. The first time I visited him at Ohio State we destroyed the dorm. Easily the best fuck I'd ever had."  Sara and AnnSophie were giggling. "Well based on what I've seen from you two it seems like you'd pick up right where you left off."

"Oh please, he doesn't want me now. I have a kid!" Sara rolled her eyes. "Which he knows about. Yet still seems to care enough to ask about you and what you're up to. Have you been talking to him?"

"We have been exchanging some pleasantries on instagram, but that's it. Just friends." Annie took a sip of her wine. 

Joe interrupted. "Every time Justin throws a touchdown pass we take a shot of tequila."

"How is your liver still intact?" Alisha told her husband. Joe shrugged. "Everyone underestimates Germans as drinkers. Right Annie?" The blonde nodded. However, according to Joe the Chargers first touchdown was worthy of a shot so they all took theirs.

Sara was going to miss this. She got the final arrangements for her flight Thursday. It was a morning flight, and despite Justin insisting that he drop her off at the airport. Her team arranged a car since they needed to be there on arrival. He was going to stay the night at her house so he could see her off. They both had a long talk, and discovered that Sara could see him during the times she was back in Los Angeles. She was coming back for the Fenty Savage show that was Feb 2nd. She'd be in town for a week of rehearsal and all that. So technically she could sneak out and see him. Hopefully he'd be getting ready for the SuperBowl..

"TOUCHDOWN CHARGERS!" The announcer yelled. Everyone cheered, and shots were handed out. Sara took hers and after she barely coughed it down. "I'm definitely riding Justin tonight."

The group laughed. Then Alisha started. "Annie come on, you know you wanna ride that fine piece of Italian ass!" She blushed while Joe yelled. "HEY!" 

Going into halftime, the Chargers had a comfortable lead. She was just hoping The Rams didn't get any momentum in the second half.

—--------------------------------------------------‐—-‐—-------------------

"You're lucky I love you babe." Jack dragged his boyfriend to the Chargers-Rams game. He found the last  tickets by the suites. In section 200, he was on a mission.

He had taken several bathroom breaks during the in-between periods. He had a press pass he could use to get into normally unauthorized areas. Jack had purposely went by the suites but he had no luck. Until halftime, or intermission or whatever the fuck football breaks were called.  He was coming down the steps to his seat when he decided to take out his phone to snap some photos for social media. Then he saw it.

 Sara standing in the window view next to Joe Grant, who was dressed in what looked like one of those hideous jerseys. She was casual in a white long sleeve shirt and some light washed jeans. Her dark hair was down and concealed by a Chargers beanie. Perfect.

As she turned to talk to Joe, Jack quickly got out his long lens camera and began snapping pictures. A few minutes later, a blonde woman was spotted hugging her. Just in case he took a few photos of her as well. 

He continued looking, but unfortunately the third period was going to start so he had to get back to his seat. As much as Jack didn't want to stay, he now knew where to keep an eye on the actress. Maybe he could catch some stuff.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"AND ANOTHER ONE! SHOTS EVERYONE!" 

Sara passed them to Carly and Isabelle, as well as Patrick. They made last minute plans to surprise them for the game. Once Sara found out they were there via text she invited them to the suite. Joe didn't care, the more the merrier. "Our cousin and her husband are here. I don't know where they are though and she's a little social media happy, so I don't think it'd be a good idea to have her up here." Patrick stated after they took their shots." Sara nodded in understanding.

Going into the fourth quarter the Chargers had a nice lead, so nice that Coach rested him after he took a hit and was in pain from what looked to be his leg. "I know he's upset." Sara mumbled to Carly and Isabelle, who both laughed in agreement. 

Sara left the game shortly after that. She needed to get to Justin's house to celebrate the win. Once again, she ordered their favorite pastas and waited for him to come home. Of course it'd be a while, since he had to say hi to his family and catch up with his cousin. 

So safe she was surprised when Justin came home ahead of schedule. "I thought you would say hi to your family." He kissed her. "I can see them anytime, I only have four days with you." She smiled. "Justin baby, I'm coming back at the end of January, then I'm doing the Oppenheimer promo at the end of February, and if all goes well I'll hopefully be back to celebrate your birthday."

He smiled and kissed her again. "You're right, it will go by fast." "And you will be in the playoffs. Did you know that you're predicted to have a deep run? You got Joey back!"

He smiled and scratched the back of his head. "Don't tell AnnSophie I said anything, but I may have caught them by his car as I was leaving." 

Sara's jaw dropped "what!" He laughed. "She got in his Tesla and they drove off together."

"That bitch! She told me she was at the house!" She turned around. "I should make a surprise stop and catch her." Before she could take a step further Justin's bit arms engulfed her and he lifted her up. "Oh no you're not." She laughed as he put her down on the couch." He got on top of her. "I'm keeping you here. In fact, I'm locking you up in my basement." 

She hummed. "See you keep saying that but you haven't done anything. I'm beginning to think you're all talk Herbert."

He growled. "You minx." He kissed her. 

"Hows your leg?" He groaned. "It's fine, I should have been allowed to play though."

She rubbed his back, "they want to rest you for the playoffs, it's a smart move, can't risk you getting hurt." He moaned as she rubbed her fingers through his hair. "You do need a cut, looking like a hobo begging for money." She giggled.

"I'm begging for something, but not money." Justin's big hand grabbed at her crotch through her leggings. She slapped the back of his head. "You pervert."

He kissed her, and she melted to the kiss. "I have an idea, he whispered into her lips." 

"What?" He got off of her. "Let's go to Jerry's!"

She got up. "Wait a minute, right now?" He nodded. "I may have called him yesterday to reserve the bar. Luckily he doesn't get too many customers on New Year's Day." She squealed, she had not seen the bar since Bella's birthday party. She refreshed her makeup and he changed into something else (more Nike sweats) and she decided to drive. 

Justin had to tell her to slow down as she was going way above the limit but she was so excited. In no time, they pulled in the lot. After exchanging pleasantries with Jerry and him disappearing, she started the jukebox and poured them drinks.

The couple sat in the booth in the corner of the dive bar. Sara wanted to play Justin her song with Lord Huron. It hadn't been formally released yet, but Ben sent her the audio for approval. As he listened to her voice, he was clingy. Holding her hand as she snuggled to him. "Your voice is beautiful when you sing." He mumbled. "Have you ever thought about recording music by yourself?"

"Hmm, I have thought about it. My team wants me too, and some fans I've sung for while in quarantine have asked for it. I just don't want to do all that touring stuff." 

She continued. "I'll just features and duets and some covers." He hummed. At one point she got up and dragged him to the floor to dance. He didn't object, he spent the whole time bending down to inhale her scent. The song, which was a slow song was by Nora Jones

Come away with me in the night.

Come away where they can't tear us apart with their lies.

Sara sang softly, enough so Justin couldn't hear her. Buried in his stomach, he couldn't see the tears in her eyes.

—----------------------------------------------------------

"Jack, I'm telling you she is single!"

Jack rubbed his face together. He was at home, he had just home from a long assignment and needed answers. There was already a deumoxi post saying Sara was in a relationship, it was vague enough to where the general public was pointing fingers at the American sweetheart. He needed to get his sources now.

And they were being stubborn. "Listen, I know you know Sara well enough to know if she is in a relationship or not. I need all the details!"

"And I'm telling you, she is just living her life. She has guy friends that are cordial. "

"What was the deumoxi post about?"

"That could be about anybody. You know this Jack, don't be stupid."

He had enough, it was time to play dirty. "Am I stupid enough to know about a quarterback who plays for the Los Angeles Chargers? Who goes by the name Justin Herbert?"

There was dead silence on the other end of the line and he knew he had them. "You really think I didn't know about that? I was just trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. Now I need details, I can go to family or close friends and act like a friend. Or I can get it from the person who is the closest to them"

"Then why did you call me?" The voice shot back. "You could have just done that and saved yourself some time arguing with me."

Jack laughed. "Because I figured if you folded once at the check you would gladly do it again. Trust me toots, this story would be big since it's breaking. No one else has this information. Sara has been good at hiding things this time around I see."

"Look, we are a tight knit community, I won't give you any details. If I leak this, she will know it's me."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Oh nonsense, you know I am always good at being discreet." There was a pause, so he continued. "Look this paycheck will be huge, huge I tell you. If you change your mind let me know as soon as possible."

The silence on the other end told him everything.

—------------‐—------------------------------------------

Sara was on the phone with her manager confirming all the last minute tedious travel details. She had her script and her role down, she had the accommodations for her and her team. Her trailer was filled with her favorite things. She didn't like to be too demanding, but some things were a necessity to her. Especially being gone for a decent amount of time.

She and Justin had been staying at her house for the last couple of days. In this time, he found himself leaving practices as soon as the guys were dismissed. This was a drastic change to him usually staying longer than everyone else.

He watched and helped her go through her usual routine when she was going away for a while. Cleaning, scrubbing, washing her comforter and clothes. She told him she always did this so she could have a nice clean room when she returned home.

Which meant they spent the last few nights on an air mattress in her living room. Justin couldn't say anything. To him, this was like going through a pregame routine. 

He had his usual workouts and noticed his left shoulder felt awkward. Sara noticed it too, and began to take care of him when he was with her. He showed her how much he appreciated her. 

Erika was also with them too, she would be traveling with Sara for about a week, then head back to LA to watch over her house. Then they'd meet again for the fenty fashion show, then would be out with her while she did filming then promoting Oppenheimer. It put Sara and Justin's mind at ease that they could find time to see each other during those months she'd be gone.

She also had to speak with Katie and Brittany regarding financial and legal status. It helped having a family who worked in positions that can help her. While she was on the phone with Brittany, Justin sat next to her and listened in as she was updated on other members 

"We told dad you were leaving, and he seemed to show emotion, so maybe he will reach out." Brittany stated.

"How's mom been?" Her sister sighed on the  other end. "Her and dad are still fighting, he's spending more time at the office and taking on all of these projects. It's bad Sara, he skipped Eliza's daycare Christmas party. Mom chewed him out for it, saying there's no excuse."

"Yeah, I wished she did that when it came to my theater stuff." It was out of her mouth before she could stop herself. There was silence for a few moments.

"Sara, he had to work to put a roof over our heads. He was putting me and Katie through school." Sara made a fist. "Still daf made it to your volleyball tournaments didn't he?"

"Look, I'm not saying mom and dad are perfect. But you harbor so much underlying anger towards them. They did the best they could for all of us." 

Sara's face got red. She was mad. "Don't you think that was easy to say since you got the best  and I barely got the bare minimum."

"Well what do you want them to do? Turn back time? We all support you, you just want this big gesture."

She sighed and took off her glasses. She felt Justin's hand on her back."Look, they could at least care about what I'm doing. You remember the fenty fashion show at Thanksgiving?"

"Sara, I'm sorry but I don't think it's appropriate for the family to see you in lingerie."

"You know Britt? I don't know whose side you're on. But I'm sick of it, I'm never celebrated. Everything is your careers, weddings, and babies. One thing of mine is a big deal and I get pushed aside. That's been my whole fucking life. You know how hard it was coming out of an amazing theater performance and seeing all my friends hug their families and get roses? I'd be lost, looking around. Hoping that my eyes deceived me of an empty seat and that someone showed up but I'd get a text saying mom or dad got stuck and they were in route to pick me up. Or how I got my own car at sixteen so I can not rely on you guys for rides. Do you have any idea how I feel? How it still affects me? You guys got the best of mom and dad, and I didn't get shit."

There was silence. "Yeah, and you won't even apologize. Or try to put yourself in my shoes. You just think because I'm successful it gets swept under the rug. Call me when you find out what you're having." After referring to her sisters pregnancy she hung up. She didn't realize she had tears coming down her face. She also forgot that Justin witnessed that entire conversation. "I'm sorry you had to hear that." Erika was in the room too, looking at her with concern. Justin rubbed her back, he was a little uncomfortable witnessing his girlfriend fight with her family.

He had to be honest, the girls he was in relationships always had families like he did. They were supportive, had each other's back and were just loving. He couldn't put himself in Sara's shoes because he never had that. His mom was always at games, his dad encouraging him and attending games whenever he could. He couldn't imagine not having that support system. "I'm sorry, I don't know what to say" He admitted.

Sara shook her head and leaned into him. "You being here is enough." Erika looked at them for a moment before walking away. Justin continued to rub her back. "Can we go to the basement? I feel bad keeping out in the living room, especially since Erika and I used to do it. He nodded, "why don't we ask her to join us?" She smiled and he got up and found her friend in the other room.

"Hey me and Sara are going to sleep in the basement and watch some movies. Care to join?" 

Erika shook her head. "You got it down pat, I don't want to intrude."

Justin shook his head. "You're not intruding if we are asking."

"No I'm fine, goodnight." She went to her room. Justin was confused. Out of all of Sara's friends, he had a hard time getting along with Erika. It wasn't for lack of trying, when she was around he would also try to include her in conversations and be nice. She just had a standoff personality."

"She's all business, she has a hard time trusting people and she's a bit overprotective of me too." Sara explained to him one night. It did put him a bit at ease, thinking she'd come around eventually. So far, it hasn't happened yet. 

Nevertheless, his focus was on Sara. He had to soak up the few days he had left with her. 

—----------------------------------------------------------

1 day

Sara was on the treadmill at the facility. She had snuck in while the guys were outside. She wanted to get one last workout in, plus she was near Justin and his teammates.

While Justin was doing press, Mike came in to do some lifting, and she was talking to him about the trip. "What's the time difference between here and Abu Dhabi?"

Sara had to Google it. " They are twelve hours ahead of us. So it will be an adjustment. We do have a small scene that will be shot in Paris." Mike shook his head. "Herb better plan those phone calls properly."

Sara and Justin had a schedule somewhat down. Since there would be long filming days. She could facetime him during breaks.

"Hey, bring me back something." Sara laughed. "Do you think there will be time for me to go shopping? You are the seventh person to ask me to do that. I'm not making any promises." He laughed. "Well miss you Sara, trust us we aren't looking forward to sulking Herb."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh please, he will be locked in, since you guys made the playoffs. I'm calling it now, I'll be coming home to cheer you on in the Superbowl!"

"I hope so, that's the goal. When that happens you need to be on the field with us."

Sara smiled. "I hope so, but I don't think I'd want to reveal who I'm dating at the superbowl."

"Speaking of, are you and Herb going public anytime soon?" She looked around. "We've talked about it. I kinda want to, just get it out there once and leave it alone. But Justin is against that, and I agree with his points. We will probably talk more in depth when I get back."

Mike smiled. "I hope so. The guys and their girls would like to see you at some events supporting Justin. The wives you did meet really like you. I think everything thinks your too cool for him"

She laughed. "I mean duh. The dude won't even say turnt." They both started laughing at the thought of Justin saying anything along those lines. Before they could say anything else the man of the hour walked in. "What are you guys talking about?" He took a sip of his water.

Mike shrugged. "Your girl won't bring me anything from Dhabi." 

"I said I'd try. This isn't a vacation for me." Justin wrapped his arm around her. She tried to shove him off of her. "Ewwww your sweaty!" He just stayed firm and overpowered her for a hug. "Ewwww!" She wrinkled her nose up in disgust. "You need to shower. Please." He laughed.

Mike just smiled from a distance.

—------------------------------------------------------------

"Everything is ready?" Erika turned around to see Sara and Justin hugging. "Guys! We are going to miss the flight! Alex is waiting, (referring to her manager who was probably at the terminal.)

Justin kissed Sara one more time. She was still a little sore from the goodbye activities the night before.

"I'll miss you. Be careful please." He tucked her hair around her ear. She smiled. "Get to the superbowl." He laughed. "That's the goal" they kissed again.

The horn honked. He walked her to the car and she got in. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'll see you in three weeks." 

"I keep forgetting about that. It takes away the longing feeling." They kissed again. "I'll lock everything up, and I'll send you pictures of Nova."

Sara smiled. "I think I'll miss her the most." Justin laughed. "Brat." They kissed again, only to be interrupted by the horn honking. They looked over at Erika who was upfront next to the driver. "Sorry I'm excited to get to Abu Dhabi!."

"I'll text you when I land!" Justin closed the door and stepped back. Sara rolled down her tinted window and smiled. 

The car pulled away.

Justin walked back to his car to return to life without her for a few weeks.

He didn't like it one bit.

[mylittle-sunshine]

Not about Camren or 5h but apparently, I love talking about myself on here lol.

I was raised with Disney Channel. Always watching the Sorcerer of Waverly Place, Hannah Montana and so on and so forth.

At the time, I didn't know how to use a phone or a computer so the only music I was listening to was either my family's or the radio. I even used to say Rihanna was my favourite singer because she sang Stay and Diamonds and I loved those two songs.

Anyway, when I was 8 I had to move from the Freng Riviera to Paris and came back for the first time in 2014 when I was 11 to see my old best friend. Long story short, I found out we weren't best friend anymore because she invited another friend with whom she was more present. BUT, She did make me discover Selena Gomez's album.

I knew she sang thanks to my sister who went to one of her concert in Paris, but I didn't know much about her. Anyway, I fell in love and especially with Stars Dance.

Growing up, I didnt like Justin Bieber because all the girls were drooling over him (and I thought I was straight uh?) And I kinda knew about Jelena but not that much. I didn't know they broke up until I've found out he was engaged with Hailey when I downloaded Tiktok :)

Then I grew up and fell in love with Camila and 5H like I have told you before.

Anyway, team Selena on this one. We don't like bullies here. It doesn't have anything to do with Jelena because I don't know shit about it. It's more because I was a Selenator and from what I have seen, Selena deserves to stay in peace. People have been making fun of her for too long and I'm glad they start to realise that she doesn't deserve it.

Good example of when she was laughed at because the back of her white dress was too high. People were more focused on making fun of her, filming than helping her out and that is disgusting.

She took some weight because she is sick and people body shamed her for it. And even though it weren't because of it, no one deserves to be body shamed because their body, THEIR CHOICE. And as we saw here, sometimes we don't chose to be fat, if we could I promise that I would have been like Gigi Hadid for some time now.

People started to say things when her documentary came out to and no matter what she does, people have to talk about Justin as if she were just Justin's ex when she was someone BEFORE him and AFTER, and she has her own life.

Same thing for camren and 5H here actually, they are more than just Camila's ex bandmate or whatever. Here we do talk a lot about camren but hopefully, we don't talk to the girls about the other one or anything because we know that they are More than that.

I don't tolerate the bullying against Hailey Bieber either because she is still a human being, but yeah, team Selena.

[laptrance]

August 4th, 2024

4 years and 8 days, or 1469 days since my last post on here. Sounds like lifetimes ago, and might as well be. At least 3 to be exact. As expected for such a radical time jump, so much has changed. If I told 2020 me what would happen, I'd probably just laugh it all off in disbelief. But as Myra would sing in the iconic Princess Diaries closing track, miracles happen (when you believe).

Let's see... where to start... I guess where I left off?

REST OF 2020

i was VERY involved with DIY twitter, specifically bands around the LA area. a couple bands in particular i had kind of a parasocial relationship with: mini trees and soft blue shimmer. less so the latter.

pretty much 90% of my social life was online. tweeting and replying to tweets, discord groups. i was honestly having a blast.

i'd visit home every now and then, being somewhat covid conscious.

i took up DJing cause of keb. got a controller and everything. it was pretty fun but short-lived lol

we'd visit las vegas a lot more due to nanay's declining health, and just to support ninang. i think nanay would end up staying in vegas full time. no longer hopping back and forth between us and ninang.

i think dad got covid after christmas. i was honestly really scared for him but we all got vaccinated so he took it like a champ.

2021

i ended up making a couple of mixes for some friends. i thought they were fine haha

the visits to vegas would increase more and more. the last time nany would properly go out was for our birthday dinner at fogo de chao

i had a mad crush on one of the band members from soft blue shimmer. i went on a "date" with them but was politely turned down after they realised it was a date. it honestly felt good being turned down. like i put myself out there for once and wasn't a useless lesbian for once lmao.

i'd go IN on record collecting. racking up 100 vinyl easily by the end of the year.

i finally got a costco membership. that was a milestone of me "being an adult now"

a lot of people at planetary started leaving. first nik, then george. i was like "there's no way in hell im staying here too" so i started applying for jobs. i think i only applied to two things before landing in NINJA TUNE OF ALL PLACES. i still pinch myself after almost 3 years from that. it was like 4 rounds of interviews. started working there september 13th.

2022

Nanay died. I no longer have any grandparents. On both sides. It's the closest death I've experienced so far.

it didn't (still doesn't) feel real that she's gone. she lived a long life (90 years). i always envisioned one of us sisters having her take care of our children the same way she took care of us.

it was hard dealing with her passing. i'd always cry at the weirdest moment. like when we were having a reception at ping pang pong after her funeral, not AT the funeral lol. i still cry sometimes to this day. her death kinda marked a milestone of sorts where it was like "oh you're REALLY an adult now". no turning back to the security and safety of childhood. sometimes i mourn that more than her. but i also think that's what she was to me. safety. unconditional love.

i was still very much on DIY twitter. online life during the pandemic was still a thing i think.

we had to move out of the Fremont house cause the owners were selling the home. despite the weird roommates, i really liked that place. the location was really good.

Kristine ended up joining us at the new house in Rosemead. Had a room with sunlight finally but it was a lot smaller than the basement room lol.

Started taking up a bit of golfing with Dad. he'd take us to the driving range and have us practice out swings. that would pay off on our birthday at top golf lol

Kristine got a boyfriend named Justin. He was her type forsure. I got along with him as well. they dated for about a year and he moved up to norcal which strained the relationship. she broke up with him cause of that and other things.

Got to work on a few cool projects, but I had such a hard time getting press for them. felt like i hit a wall

went to a couple of cool one-off festivals: This Ain't No Picnic and Primavera Sound LA.

one of my coworkers Lauren came to visit LA. it was nice having someone in my department in the office for once.

i started taking up bowling a lot more too. the rosemead house was near a bowling alley in alhambra that had this crazy deal on tuesdays. $2 per game. insane!! i made a couple of friends who were frequent visitors for a minute, but then it rained a lot towards the end of the year which forced them to close for maintenance indefinitely. they permanently closed in 2024.

connie and ant broke up after i think 8 or 9 years together. i honestly thought they would end up marrying each other. me and kristine spoke to them separately shortly after they announced the breakup and before they both moved away. connie went to seattle while ant went to portland.

it hit our friend group really hard. connie and ant were the ones who always brought us together. i think ryan shota and i just ended up doing our own things after that. we don't really hang out as a trio anymore.

i mean i know why they broke up, but i really miss our group. i miss connie and i miss ant. i miss them when they were together. they were the couple i looked up to and wanted to reference my own relationships after.

2023

discovered the beauty that was california hot pot in downtown alhambra. they gave waayyyy too much food for sooo cheap. that shut down in 2024 for unknown reasons. RIP

also discovered the beauty of Momo Paradise. AYCE shabu shabu WITH tea/soda included AND ice cream at the end. still open as i'm typing this thank goth.

there was a mini tornado in the el monte area??? unheard of for the area.

started hanging out with alex's friends from college (with alex ofc). most of them work for LADWP loll.

i got a mechanical keyboard. im using it to type this very sentence lol

worked on some very stressful campaigns for work. also worked on some really cool campaigns that did well too.

i reached out to this one person from reddit who i thought was really cool. we went to see a deafheaven show and got dinner before. haven't really spoken to them since but would be down to go to another show again!!

i finally switched from an android back to an iphone. there are some things i miss from android but i like having a working and fast phone now.

I ALSO GOT COVID FOR THE FIRST TIME RIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS. 0/10 RECOMMEND but it wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be tbh.

2024

honestly the days start to feel like they're blurring. doing the same thing day after day

ninja's CEO was under scrutiny for being sexist and mean in the office (which is true) and some semblance of accountability was attempted but idk if anything changed about the work culture really.

i also applied to a different label PIAS and ende up getting the job but i felt so conflicted on wether to stay or leave. upper management at ninja honestly doesn't care about developing the press department (and i won't forget that) but my press team are day ones and were able to get me a raise that made me stay.

at the same time that ^^ was going on, kristine and i moved out of the rosemead place and moved to ECHO PARK with alex. i honestly still can't believe that i live in LOS ANGELES proper!!

i have another crush again, this time i met them IN PERSON at a show (for work). i didn't really do anything about it until A MONTH after, but i did end up getting her number. maddie did say she wasn't "totally" looking to date right now but encouraged me to reach out still cause she's a good friend and "who knows where it could go!" i don't think she's really a texter...

i started therapy again cause i'm feeling burned out at work and i feel like i've been very anxious as of late. had that confirmed with the therapist and i'm in the process of testing for ADHD.

i think it's helping a lot, navigating how my mind works around this crush with nina s and just working through how i think about things.

aaannnd that's it i think! like i said before, A LOT OF THINGS over the course of four years.

as for the stuff with angelica, i just think about her in the sense of our time together being the closest thing to a relationship i've ever gotten. i totally understand why we don't talk to each other anymore. i think im still trying to recover from that in a way, forgiving myself for how i acted towards her.

meeting people's really hard these days. i aboslutely hate dating apps and the people i am attracted to are usually not emotionally available. im kinda worried i'll still be single (and a virgin) by the time i turn 30. working on that not coming true lol...

i dont think it'll be another 4 years before i come back with an update. i am proud of myself though. look how far i've come haha

[perpetualexistence]

Yeah, having this be like a constant cycle of students while these three stay the same really builds into the idea that they're unstoppable because they're just always there no matter what you try to do. The way I see it, the ROTI cast were freshmen during their time at school as humans, while the Pahkitew island crew are the freshmen that come in after the ROTI graduate. There's a much bigger gap between Pahkitew and Reboot, which is why by the time the Reboot cast comes in the Eldrtich trio really in the groove of how these cycles work.

It also means that Open House for the Reboot cast is a great time for them to check in on their former classmates. And also a stressful time as they try to prevent some former classmates from recognizing them. And also a stark reminder that their friends are going to pass away long before they will. They'll be fine. (They're definitely not quickly wiping away watery eyes while they hug the people who were there for them when they needed it most.)

But onto lighter thoughts! I think it would be nice if Noah actually did just use Cameron's dnd module for his own campaign. His last interaction with them might have been evil gloating, but he does still miss that first Scooby gang. He makes them important NPCs.

And given that you're saying Millie's indifferent to the whole thing, I do find it hilarious that she hears all of these horrifying things and just says "Oh, okay! So can I make a book about this?" Poor girl seriously needs to learn people skills. Also, it's especially going to be heartbreaking when Priya finds out the only reason her parents have been better to her is because Alejandro's been making them. Because that's when it'll really click how horrible they were.

I also think it'd be hilarious if MKulia still happens in this AU. Julia's just being the absolute worst, and then being made to absolutely go through it. And MK just watches all of this and says "Yeah, that one. I want that one." Noah tries to lead her towards literally anyone else because he doesn't want MK to put herself into Heather's warpath by association. He should have known better than to try to tell her 'no' because he's pretty much just thrown MK directly into Julia's arms. The worst part is he can't even be too mad at her because he'd be a hypocrite since he's dating Alejandro and Heather.

As you can see, I too love to ramble about the Reboot cast. Now onto your question of Pahkitew Island cast. I haven't actually watched it outside of clips, but I do have a few ideas.

I can see Amy wanting the spot of head cheerleader, though more because it means she'll have more reason to boss Sammy around. While that normally would make her Heather's victim, I think Alejandro would actually take over for this one. He probably meets them while having a talk in public with Heather when he sees Amy bullying Sammy. He immediately gets flashbacks to his relationship with José. He makes it his personal mission to destroy Amy. She's going to learn what it's like to live in her sister's shadow. Quite literally.

Heather's victim of the cast ends up being Sugar. She thinks she's a Queen Bee despite having none of the intelligence to back it up, which pisses Heather off to no end. It's not even that hard to do, which frustrates Heather even more. She loves a challenge, and a challenge Sugar is not. She will be incredibly relieved when Julia happens because finally she can pull out the big guns again.

Noah probably ends up going after Topher. He can't stand a suck up. He also reminds him too much of Justin for his liking.

Then, for the Scooby gang! At this point I've noticed a pattern in Scooby gangs being protag trios, so why fix what ain't broke? This time around it's Amy, Shawn, and Jasmine. Amy because she notices weird things happen to her sister, possibly including her disappearance depending on where we end up settling the timeline with that. Jasmine because she's friends with Amy, and Shawn through Jasmine. He stays because he's convinced that Alenoaheather are zombies. Even when they do finally reveal what they truly are, he just hears 'undead' and knows their zombies. Heather is this close to just making him forget what a zombie is. The only reason she doesn't is because it's so integral to his personality it might actually screw him up too much if she does. Because they don't really have too close of connections with these three, Alenoaheather treats their rivalry more like a game since they know they'll win in the end.

Then, chronologically speaking, we have the first two who actually want to track down the Royal Court for evil purposes: Max and Scarlett. Max is very open about wanting to rule first the school, then the world, using the dark magics he knows exist and are hidden somewhere in the school. But he's so incompetent that the trio let their guard down. They'll keep an eye on him, but he clearly doesn't know what he's talking about, and they feel sorry for the poor girl he drags around with him.

I'm putting a read more for the next part because we start getting more into story here with a trigger warning for death and a sacrifice.

Scarlett's the real problem. She actually knows that eldritch beings exist and knows a few rituals. She wants to rule the world and will sacrifice anyone to do it. She's effectively using Max as a psychic deterrent because he's so unpleasant to be around Heather just turns her mind reading gaze away from him because god he's just so annoying. ...And that extends to Scarlett because of how physically close the two are most of the time.

And that's how Scarlett is able to steal the summoning book for the Royal Court from Noah's library. She and Max find it, and at first Max grabs ahold of it and laughs triumphantly because he's done it! He's won! ...He's not sure exactly what the next step is, but he's won!

Scarlett is so close and she's just had it with Max, so that's when she reveals her true colors. She snatches the book, snatches Max and lets him know he's the first person she'll sacrifice, and leaves.

Cue Alenoaheather panicking. Because if she does manage to successfully summon the Royal Court, she could convince them to make a deal that's much more dangerous for the rest of humanity. And she's outside of school grounds, meaning they can't get to her because at this point they've been confined to the school.

They immediately stop playing the good guys vs bad guys game with the Scooby gang. They've got all the knowledge, and the Scooby gang are the only ones who can go out to actually use it.

"Guys, we can't just work with the zombies!" Shawn argues. This gets him an insult that sends him collapsed to the ground, his heart ripped out, and temporarily forgetting how to breathe. These three don't have time for this, and if showing the Scooby gang exactly how much they've been holding back is the only way to get cooperation, so be it. Because yes, they are, in fact 'going to work with the zombies'. They are going to find Scarlett, Max, and the book, and bring them back to the school.

The Scooby gang do end up defeating Scarlett before she can summon the Royal Court. She got as far as managing to pull Alenoaheather out of the school and into her summoning circle before she was stopped. The lords weren't summoned...but they weren't able to save Max, whose sacrifice was needed in order to summon the vessels to Scarlett to be contained.

Neither Alejandro, Noah, nor Heather had seen death since they wiped out the cultists that sacrificed them. They do still have vivid nightmares of that night, courtesy of the Royal Court. And to see someone else like that? Just like them, with the potential for a redemption that can never come, slaughtered without a chance of being brought back? They completely forget about needing the book back as they turn into semi-eldritch creatures. They launch themselves at a captured Scarlett, drag her with them through the portal they were summoned through, and aren't seen again until school the next day.

Leaving Amy, Jasmine, and Shawn to process what's just happened. And realize no, they're absolutely not about to give the demon summoning book back to the demons. They try to destroy the book, but it's indestructible because otherwise how would the Royal Court be able to have their fun? So instead they settle for giving it to someone completely unrelated to the school to hide away for them, or otherwise send it off they have no idea where. That way Heather can't just read their minds and get someone else to grab the book for them because not even they know where it is.

Alenoaheather's pretty peeved that the Scooby gang actually managed to pull one over on them. Fortunately, they got rid of most of their bloodlust through Scarlet and do still have humanity left in them. Plus, it was a pretty clever scheme. So they just agree to leave each other be from now on. They won't try going after the book, and the Scooby gang won't try stopping them from entertaining their lords.

It's a deal that eventually leads to problems in the future as a young Lauren stumbles across this book. It's the day she becomes Scary Girl.

...Okay so most of that literally just came out as I was typing it so wow apparently I did have ideas for Pahkitew crew. I also wasn't expecting Pahkitew to then build up a bit into Reboot. Whoops!

you guys ever hear a new song and frantically conceptualise a whole AU around it, starring your current Main Blorbo? or is that just me?

[the-cooler-king]

Not drunk, just a randomly strong emotion/thought to start my day: I really love my best friend

[callsign-fox]

I Still Love You - Rooster

Pairing: Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x Fem!Reader 

Prompt: You haven’t seen Bradley Bradshaw in a long time, not since that night you packed your suitcase and left.

--------------------------------------------------

The drink that Penny had placed in front of me was strong. Jack and Coke was always my go to, but this drink was much more Jack, a lot less Coke.

“You've had a long flight, a stiff drink is just what you need,” Penny said when she placed it in front of me.

A stiff drink was what I needed, even if I hadn't known it yet.

It was the first time in a while I had been back in San Diego. I moved almost a year ago to the day to help my mom with her growing New York business. While it was fun to spend time with my mom and explore what New York had to offer me, I was glad to finally be back home.

I rested my elbows on the bar and smiled at Penny, “Is Amelia still doing good in school?”

“She is! I can’t believe she is going into her Junior year of High School. You guys grow up too fast,” she said, wiping down the bar across from me.

“We can’t stay young forever, Penny,” I said, taking a sip of my drink.

“That’s coming from the girl who looks exactly the same as the day I met her.”

I recognized his voice before I saw his face. When I turned to look at him, the mere sight of him caused my heart to race.

“Bradley.”

He leaned against the bar and smiled, “Y/N.”

I brushed a loose piece of hair that had fallen on my face behind my ear, “Wow, how long has it been?”

Bradley took a sip of his beer, “Too long.”

I took a sip of my drink that was no longer strong enough, “It’s nice to see you.”

”It’s nice to see you too. You look good.”

I winked at him, “You don’t look half bad.”

My eyes moved across his features as he ordered another beer. He’d aged in the last two years I hadn’t seen him, but he was still unbelievably handsome.

“You know, I tried to call you a few times after you left. I was worried about you and wanted to know if you were okay.”

“I’m sorry, I had to get a new phone. I accidentally broke the old one.”

It was half the truth. It did break, but I broke it on purpose when I threw it into the wall after listening to one of his voicemails.

He nodded, “There was a lot I needed to say to you, things that I still need to say.”

The memory of the night I left flooded my brain. He had just come back from Japan and walked in on me with my suitcase open on the floor, full of clothes.

“You are not leaving like this.”

I ignored him as I shoved more clothes into the suitcase, “You are not the boss of me.”

“Y/N, please.”

The tears were pouring down my face as I continued stuffing as many things as I could into the suitcase, “I can’t do this anymore, Bradley. I can’t sit here and worry about if you are going to come home. I’m not telling you to give up what you worked for your entire life, I would never ask that of you. But I can’t do it.”

He shook his head from his perch on the bed, “But I love you.”

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see a familiar face move into the bar stool beside me.

“Hey babe, are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

My breath hitched and I turned to Bradley who was still beside me. He looked back and forth between us, connecting the dots.

His smile disappeared.

“Babe?” The boy beside me called.

“I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head, “this is my friend Bradley. Bradley, this is Justin,” I braced myself for the next part, “my boyfriend.”

Justin reached a hand out to Bradley who stood there silent. After a moment Bradley extended his hand to shake Justin’s, “You can call me Rooster.”

I stared at Bradley as Justin continued, “Rooster? Is that a nickname?”

This time I spoke up, “It’s his call sign.”

“What’s a call sign?”

“I’m a fighter pilot in the Navy, we all get call signs.”

Justin nodded, “Oh, that’s really cool.”

“Yeah, it’s cool.”

I glared at Bradley who was already looking down at me.

“So, how did you two meet?“ Justin asked.

“We met here actually.”

I turned to Justin, “Yeah, we’re old friends.”

“Yeah, old friends,” Bradley said, looking at me once again.

His eyes bore into mine and my head started to hurt, “Penny, can I have another drink?”

Penny walked over and grabbed my empty glass, almost dropping it when she noticed Bradley beside me.

“Bradshaw, funny seeing you here.”

Bradley smiled, “Nice to see you, Penny.”

She looked at me, then at Justin, before finally looking back at me, “Can you help me with something in the back?” She asked.

“Yes!” I squealed, a little too eager.

Justin jumped off the barstool behind me and reached for my arm, “Hey, I’m going to go back to the hotel. I have some work I have to do before calling it a night.”

I smiled at him, feeling guilty that I was happy he was leaving, “Okay, be careful! Don’t forget I’m staying at Penny’s tonight.”

“I know, have a good time.”

He leaned in and placed a soft, quick kiss on my lips, before turning around and walking out the bar.

“He’s cute.” Bradley said, his arms crossed as he leaned against the bar.

His eyes moved slowly over my body and I couldn't control the knot that grew inside my stomach.

Someone called his name from the other side of the bar and I took my chance and hurried toward the back room that Penny had just entered.

I pushed the revolving door open and jumped when Penny grabbed my arm and pulled me into the corner.

“Did you invite Bradley here?”

“Yes, Penny. I invited Bradley here. I thought him and Justin would be great friends,” I said sarcastically.

She laughed, “Well, what is he doing here? I thought he was in India or something.”

“I have no idea. I haven't seen him or heard from him since we broke up.”

We were both quiet for a moment as I contemplated what I was going to do next.

“I should just go back to your house.”

She smiled at me, “but is that what you want to do?”

“What else would I do?”

She shook her head, “You still love him, I know you do. Talk to him.”

“Why? Nothing is going to change. He still flies, and that terrifies me.”

She shook her head, “Maybe it’s not as bad now. Maybe you can make it work if you care that much about each other.”

My eyes started to burn. Afraid I was about to start crying, I quickly turned and walked out of the room and back into the bar.

Bradley appeared in front of me and I quickly shoved past him.

“Y/N.”

“No, Bradley.”

He called after me, “Please.”

I whipped around to face him and he stopped short, almost crashing into me.

“Bradley, we can’t do this again. It’ll end exactly the same as it did the first time,” I said, turning away from him just as a tear fell down my cheek.

“But I still love you, Y/N,” He tried to follow but I heard Penny’s voice and turned to see her blocking his path.

I took that as my chance and pushed the door open, disappearing into the night as the tears poured down my face.

-----------------------------------------------

Let me know if I should do another part! xoxo

[steviesdoll]

Will You Marry Me?

Soft! Dark! Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: You and Steve were best friends since childhood. You liked him very much but just as a friend but what happens when he forces you to marry him? Will your relationship with him ever remain the same?.

Warnings: a little bit of dark Steve, forced marriage,possessive behavior and more to be added in the second chapter.

Pairing :Steve Rogers x reader soft dark Steve Rogers x reader.

A/N: Please don't mind if there is a grammatical mistake just ignore it as my mother tongue is not English 😅.

It was Sunday evening, you were helping your mother as she was cooking pasta. Then you heard the sound of the doorbell and you rushed to open the door knowing who it was. “Wait Y/N , let me open the door. ”though you wanted to open the door you let your father open it.

You went back to the kitchen where your mother was. You took out the chopper board and started to chop the onion. You were very excited, you couldn't wait to meet your childhood best friend after six months.

You were lost in your thoughts when you heard the familiar voice of your best friend and giggling of your father and younger brother Justin. Your mother went out of the kitchen to greet your best friend.

You followed her out and saw your best friend sitting on the couch beside your brother and laughing at something your father had said.

“Steve ”you greeted him.

Hearing your voice he turned to look at you “Y/N”.He got up from the couch and neared you. You hugged him tight , he hugged you back even tighter .

“How are you Y/N ?”

“I'm fine ”you exclaimed “I missed you. ”

“I missed you too. ”he told with that fianally you parted from each other.

“Dinner will be ready in an hour. ”you told and rushed to the kitchen. This was the first time you felt shy around Steve.

While having your dinner you were completely lost in your thoughts of your childhood when you spent nights and days cuddled with Steve. You wondered if now you could do the same. Steve got a good job in Paris and you knew that you would see him after months again when he leaves after a week. He would probably meet a beautiful woman there and maybe even forget about your years long friendship. The thought itself made you sad from your core.

You liked Steve very much but just as a friend but the thought of him forgetting about your years long friendship just because of some random woman was sad. It's not because you didn't want Steve to ever get married to someone else, you wanted Steve to be happy but you wanted always be best friends, you didn't want him to forget about your friendship.

“So for how long are you staying here? ”your father asked Steve.

“Just a week. ”Steve told.

“When will you come again ?”you asked curiously.

“With the pressure of my job, I won't be able to come before a year. ”the thought of meeting him after a year made you sad.

After the dinner Steve bid your parents and was about to leave when you caught his wrists and stopped him from leaving.

“Steve”

“Yeah ”

“Do you have to leave in a week ?” you asked him. You knew that he won't change his plans just because of you but you hoped he would stay a bit longer.

“Yeah I have to doll, work is important. ”he told you “but I won't leave without you. ”

With that he left your house. You wondered what his last sentence meant, he must be joking, right!

Two days later while you were returning home from work, you saw Steve entering a jewelry shop which is very unusual cause he never buys something for his mom. Truth to be said his mom told him to never buy anything for her.

Maybe he found his best girl. You thought.

You didn't pay much attention to it and just went away. If you were right and Steve already found a girl then you were happy for him. Your Stevie finally found a girl to settle down and if he was happy you were happy.

When you reached home you knocked the door but nobody answered it. You knocked a second time still nobody answered it. So you knocked four to five times then your brother opened the door.

“Ohhhuhhh... Justin! I was knocking the door from soo long, can't you hear. ”you told annoyed.

“O sorry I was watching TV so I didn't heard.” he pouted.

You entered your house and found your parents not there.

“Justin ”you called for your brother.

“Yeah”he replied.

“Where are mom and dad? ”you asked him curiously.

“They uhh.. went to Steve's house. ”

Why were your parents at Steve's house right now. You thought.

After a hour your parents returned home you rushed to them and asked that why were they at Steve's house . They didn't replied to your question which was even stranger.

They looked extremely happy so you asked them the reason for their happiness but they told you that you will know in a few days.

“Dad please just tell what's going on? ” you asked him curiously. What is happening?

“You don't have to miss Steve again. ”your dad replied.

“What? ”It was more a question to yourself. You didn't knew what was going on. You were totally confused. “Is he not going back to Paris? ”

“No, it's even better. ”your mother replied excitedly. “You'll know in a few days. ”

Why is everyone acting strange? What is going on? You thought. You'll probably know in a few days.

After two days when you came back home from work, you found your mom in your room. She was packing your bag.

What is happening?

“Mom! What is happening? ”you asked confused.

“We don't have so much time before the marriage. ”your mom replied.

What?

“Marriage... whose marriage? ”

“Yours, of course. ”

“What mine? When? ”

“Tomorrow ”

“What? With whom? ”

“Steve ”your mom replied.

Now everything hit you the reason for why did Steve told that he wouldn't leave without you. The reason why Steve was at the jewelry shop and why your parents were at Steve's house. The whole time your parents and Steve knew what was going on but they didn't told you. You felt anger inside you which was directed to Steve and your parents.

You quickly took out your phone from your purse and dialed Steve's number waiting for him to pick up.

“What the hell is happening Steve? ”you yelled at him the moment when he picked up his phone.

“Whoa..whoa easy there Y/N.”

“I'm to marry you tomorrow, but why? ”

“Because I love you Y/N can't you see that, I have been in love with you since 8th grade. But you did not see my love. ”Steve replied as if nothing happened. “so I told my parents that I love you and I want to marry you. They were more than happy to hear it so they invited your parents for lunch and told them about the proposal and they didn't had any problem. ”

“Steve you're saying like this is normal. If you ever loved me so you could have told me, asked me out on a date. ”you didn't knew what else to say. “You never thought of what I want my decision doesn't matters”

“Yeah, you're right. Your decision doesn't matters. ”This made you more angry.

“And why so soon? ”you asked angrily.

“Cause I only have a week to stay here and I don't want to wait for another year. ”

“I won't marry you. ”you told.

“You will”he replied before ending the call. There were already tears gathered in your eyes.

Why was Steve doing this? He was your best friend.

Steve's words broke your heart. You decided to tell your parents that you didn't want to marry Steve. When you told them instead of understanding you they scolded you. They told you that the wedding is tomorrow and that there is no going back now. The wedding rings were bought, the wedding dress was decided, your bag was packed and your tickets for Paris was already booked.

You never ever thought in your life that your parents won't care for your decision just because of Steve.

The next day came too soon. It was 6:00am when your mother woke you up. You completely forgot that today is your wedding. You didn't got up from your bed instead you layed down and covered your face with the pillow.

Your mother took the pillow off you and dragged you out of the bed. She pushed you towards the bathroom and told you to get fresh.

The wedding was small. Only Steve's and your relatives and friends were present .Everyone was happy except you. They thought that your years long friendship with Steve just turned into love. When you told your parents that you don't want to marry him, they thought that you were doing drama cause either you don't want to get married soo soon or you wanted a grand wedding. They told you that it was for your own good.

The reception went as quick as the wedding. You danced with Steve, your father, your brother and some of Steve's friends.

It was 1:00am when you started to feel sleepy. You just wanted to go home and fall asleep but you knew that you can't do that cause the flight was at 4:00am . That's when Steve dragged you towards the car and pushed you in the backseat. You saw your bags being loaded . Then you saw Steve entering the car. He sat beside you and asked the driver to start the car.

“Can't wait to have you for myself alone. ”Steve told excitedly.

“I hate you ”you told with all the rage inside you.

“Ohh don't be like that sweetheart, I know you love me. ”he told pouting “I love you and I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together. ”

You still can't believe why was Steve doing this. He was supposed to be your best friend. You just wanted it to be a nightmare. You never ever thought that your childhood best friend to spoil your life.

A/N: The end of the part 1 . Don't go on the topic the story is completely different from it. I don't know to give a perfect topic🤦‍♀.

[13-reasons-ideas]

requests are still open yay! MontyxOc, Oc dated Monty a year ago.. things didn’t quite work out but her & Monty maintained a close friendship some say a little too close for ex’s. She stared dating (any one of the guys) but Monty continued to flirt with her she wasn’t stopping him either, She feels bad & tells Monty to stop flirting & trying to get with her... He doesn’t she starts to get fed up and on a class trip they argue over it.. the argument however ends much differently (smut)

A/N: This story contains SMUT. DNI if under 18. 18+ only. This is a long one you guys. Definitely bring a snack and a cup of tea to read it. I’m sorry if the spacing is weird. I can’t to hear what you have to say about it! Feedback is appreciated and much love as always. - Em

Friends Don’t 

I met Monty in the park. Things had been different between us recently. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He turned in my direction. I sat on a picnic table and watched him for a few minutes. He seemed like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how.

“What’s going on in that hot head of yours?”

“I don’t know. I don’t… I don’t want to mess everything up.”

“Well how will you know if you do, if you don’t take the chance?” I had a feeling I knew what was coming.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this Reagan.” Even though I had a feeling, it still felt like a punch in the gut to hear him say it.

“For what?”

“Things to get serious.”

“Who said anything about serious? We are sixteen.”

“I don’t know. Do you want to pretend that I’m ready to date someone? That doesn’t seem very fair to you.”

I shrugged. He has a point. He’s not exactly in a great place right now. “I guess not.” Even though I didn’t want to, I felt tears starting to well up and the familiar prickle in my nose. I blinked a few times because I knew he was right. It just sucked to hear.

“I don’t want to not have you around though.”

“I know. I don’t want to not have you around either. You know me better than anyone. Best friends?”

“Best friends.”

“And if you ever need anything, I’m there. No matter what.”

“Day or night.”

“Always.”

ONE YEAR LATER

Monty and I stayed close. We kept our promise to be best friends. After all, we knew each other better than anyone. We hung out after school and got coffee. He came over and we watched movies. It was almost like we didn’t break up. Almost. For a while after our breakup things were awkward. We hadn’t really figured out where our boundaries were. After some time, we got comfortable again. Some people would say we were a little too close. It didn’t really matter that much to us if we still flirted or finished each other’s sentences.

It didn’t matter, at least until I started spending time with a certain other jock. Zach Dempsey had caught my eye before senior year but there was something about him that was different that September. He was still kind of cruel, but he was trying. He meant well. He just didn’t always know how to go about things in the best way. I knew what being forced to spend extended time with Bryce walker could do to a person. Zach and I had a few classes together over the years. Our friendship started like a lot of friendships did in school. You got stuck sitting next to someone and so you had to decide if you wanted to ignore them for the rest of the semester, or if you wanted to make your semester not suck and play nice.

We decided on the latter that first day of world history. He was late to class and the only empty seat was next to mine. I had spent time around him when Montgomery and I were dating so we were able to at least talk to each other. Our interactions consisted mostly of homework and school stuff for about a month or so. Then, slowly, we started talking about our interests and other things on our way to lunch. On one such walk to lunch, he told me about his dream of becoming a marine biologist.

“Seriously?” I asked him.

“Yeah. It’s cool. Why?”

“I don’t know. I just guess I pegged you as a guy who would want to do the athlete thing and get a business degree in case you didn’t get drafted.”

“Nah. That… that isn’t really in the cards for me.” I nodded.

“I want to go into social work.”

“No way, really?”

“Yeah.” I didn’t elaborate on why I wanted to. That was not my story to share.

“Zachy!” Scott called across the room when we got to the cafeteria.

“I- I should probably get going.” He stammered.

“Yeah. My friends are waiting.” I waved over at Jess and Alex. Zach started to walk away but turned around again.

“Did you want to get a coffee or see a movie sometime?”

“Like, together?”

“I mean, yeah.” He shrugged, trying to play it cool.

“I think I’d like that. Oh, and can you tell Montgomery and Bryce Cheerios is not lunch?” I laughed.

“But they are.”

“I guess we can discuss it over coffee.” I smiled.

“Wednesday after school?”

“Sure.”

I sat at a table with my friends. “So. I’m going on a date.” Jess and Alex looked at me with wide eyes.

“Shit. No way.” Jess smiled.

“Yeah. Zach Dempsey.” I explained, answering their unspoken question.

“Zach is nice.” Alex added.

“And he’s like… really good looking.”

“I know, right?”

“Tall.”

“Very tall.”

“Doesn’t have an anger problem.” Jess muttered under her breath. My smile faltered. I looked up and Monty’s eyes were on me. My phone vibrated. Cheerios is lunch pretty girl. I rolled my eyes. Zach said he has a date. Wouldn’t happen to be a certain girl in his world history class, would it?

I’ll give you details after. And why do you care?

On Wednesday I got a ride with Justin and Clay to school. My car was in the shop for maintenance and my house was on the way from theirs. After school, Zach drove me to Monet’s. I got to ride shotgun in the Audi. The wind feels different. Maybe it’s because this car costs more than my education will. He was a safe driver, I noticed. Soon, we had parked outside the cozy little café. We didn’t hold hands on the way inside.

Inside, I ordered a hot chocolate, and he got a cup of tea. “You like pomegranate?” I asked when we sat down.

“Yeah. It’s tart.”

“It’s pretty good. One of my favourite tea flavours.” We made small talk for a while. I wasn’t sure when the last time he had been on a date was. I hadn’t been on a real date since Monty and I broke up last year.

“Your opinion on Cheerios is wrong.”

“Wrong?”

“Yeah. It’s lunch food. Or breakfast food. Hell, even dinner food.” I shook my head.

“I will never understand boys.” He laughed and picked up his spoon. “What are you doing?”

“Just watch.” He breathed on the spoon and tried to balance it on his nose. I giggled and it stuck for maybe three seconds before falling to the table. I burst out laughing.

“Can I try?” I picked up my own spoon.

“Go for it.”

“Okay, okay how do I do this?”

Zach reached over and took the spoon, holding it in front of my mouth. “Breath on it.” I did. “Now before it dries, take it, and place it on the end of your nose.” I did as he said. It fell instantly.

“Try again?” He waved. I tried again and it fell, yet again. “One more. I think I know the spot now.”

“Go on.” This time, I was able to get it to balance for four seconds. “Does this make me champion?”

“Sure. Until we have rematch.”

“A rematch you say?”

“Yes.”

“I look forward to it. Mostly so I can win again.” I smirked slightly. We spent the next couple of hours just talking to each other about stuff. Mrs. Dempsey called him home around five.

“Yeah Mom. I’m just out with the guys going over some plays. I’ll be home soon.”

“I take it I’m getting my refill to go?”

“Yeah. It seems that way. I’ll drive you home.”

We went on like that for the next few weeks. We would meet for coffee or meet up to see a movie. Go for walks in the park or by the docks. It was nice. Different than what Montgomery and I had, but it was a welcome change. We went public at school before we decided to tell our parents. My parents weren’t exactly ecstatic about me dating in my senior year and I knew how his mom felt about girls in his life. I was still talking to Monty. All the while, we had kept up the flirty banter we had started a few weeks after our breakup. Zach didn’t seem to mind much. “Good morning Beautiful.” He said as he walked over to my locker that morning.

“Hey 85.” I smiled brightly at him.

“You look very cute.”

“Why thank you kind gentleman.” I grabbed my bag off the floor and shoved my geometry book in it. Zach threw his arm around my shoulders as he walked me to class. I rested my head against him and we chatted about our night.

“So, you guys are public now.” Monty said, walking up to us with Charlie in tow.

“That’s really cute.” Charlie said.

“Yes.” I smiled. I felt Monty’s eyes traveling my body and I couldn’t help the blush that crept up my neck.

“Yeah.” Zach said.

“That’s great.” Monty replied. When we walked away, he called out, “I’ll see you around Reagan.”

I turned and called back to him, “yes you will.”

In the following few days, Monty kept up with the flirting. I didn’t stop it. I found it kind of amusing. “Going to harp on my lunch choices again Rea?”

“No. You’re an adult. I trust you to make proper choices.”

“Now, Reagan. You should know I’ve never been good with proper.” I rolled my eyes. Oh, I know.

“Seems to have done you pretty well so far. How’s… uh… collarbone tattoo?”

“Katie?”

“Sure.” He merely shrugged.

“How’s Zachy?”

“Zach is good.” Zach said, sitting down at the table. I swatted Monty’s hand away when he reached for a cookie.

“And you should know by now to not touch my food Montgomery.”

“Oh. She full named you. What’s it like to be called out by your ex like that, man?” Bryce asked.

“You don’t get a cookie either Bryce.”

“Reagan.” He held his hand up to his chest. “You wound me.”

“That’s sad for you.” I shrugged. Zach turned to me and shot me a megawatt smile.

“Do I get a cookie?” I thought for a moment.

“You can get half a cookie.”

“It’s half more than I had before.”

“I’m his best friend. Can I have the other half?” Justin asked when he sat down.

“No. My cookies.”

“I’ll trade you my Milky Way for that half.”

“No.” I laughed. “You’re sure you’re okay to come to my place later?” I asked Zach.

“Yeah. It’s just your parents. Parents like me.”

“Did he just say ‘just your parents’?” Monty looked at me with wide eyes. I shrugged. “Reagan.”

“Monty.”

“Your dad threatened to shoot me.”

“My parents never really liked you though.”

“Gee, I wonder what gave you that impression?”

“What would have?” Charlie asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe when her dad threatened to shoot me.”

“Parents don’t like you. They’ll love me.” Zach beamed.

“They don’t like you because you ruined their daughter.” Bryce laughed. Again, I shrugged. Can’t really argue with him there. Monty merely smirked, proudly. Ugh men.

“Anyway. You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. And can you remind me again why we sit here?”

“You get to see me.” Monty chuckled.

“No. No I don’t think that’s why.”

“Hurtful.”

**

In the few months after Zach and I started dating, his mom had come around to the idea of me being in his life. I spent time at his house, mostly working on homework or helping May with hers. It was tense at first but she came around eventually. Once she realized I only wanted what was best for her son. My parents were getting more used to the idea of me dating again. They saw how we interacted and seemed to approve more than they did with Monty. I had a sneaking suspicion that it had something to do with the fact that I wasn’t emptying the first aid kit my mom kept stocked every month or so.

Monty and I were still close. He had recently started seeing a girl named Kyla. I wasn’t sure how serious it was but figured it could be good for him. It didn’t stop him from flirting with me though.

“Good morning gorgeous.”

“Good morning Montgomery. Good night?” I laughed.

“Of course.”

“How was your date with Kyla?” I asked.

“It was good. She cooked for me.”

“That’s nice. Was it good?” Charlie asked, adjusting his bag on his shoulder.

“I mean, sure. Some kind of spinach something or other?”

“You hate spinach.” I said.

“Yes. And you hate tha-.” Monty started. I saw Zach walking towards us.

“Shhhh.” I cut him off. “Hey babe.”

“Hey beautiful.” Zach pulled me into a hug and placed a kiss on my head. “How was dinner at Alex’s last night?”

“It was good. His mom let me bring contraband in the house.”

“Contraband?” Bryce asked.

“He’s not allowed to have junk food.” Charlie explained.

“Something about healthy body healthy mind or something.”

“She’s not wrong Rea.” Zach said.

“I know but still. Let the kid have a candy bar once in a while. It won’t hurt him.”

“He prefers sour patch kids.”

“I know.” The bell rang and interrupted us. I sighed heavily and took Zach’s hand. He walked me to math and kissed me on the cheek as he left. I smiled brightly at his retreating form.

Monty texted me in math. As I was saying, you hate that you and Zach haven’t fucked yet. Have you even gotten to second base yet?

None of your god damn business.

I’ll take that as a no. Don’t worry. It’ll happen eventually. I could get Charlie to get Alex to talk to him. Or you could let me talk to him.

No!

What? You don’t want me to tell him all your dirty little secrets?

I swear to God, De la Cruz. I will wring your neck in your sleep.

You’d be doing my dad a favour. You’d at least get past the front door.

I’d wring his first. Now stop texting me and learn some shit.

Fine.

Zach sat with Alex, Jess, and I at lunch. Kyla was sitting with Monty. I got the impression that she didn’t really like me all that much. In order to avoid a catfight-as much as I think the boys would like to see it- I found it best not to sit with them when she was around. Plus, it gave me a bit of a break from all the sports talk I had to pretend to care about. I shared my granola with Jess. Alex ‘stole’ my gummy bears. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I had the other bag in history. Zach kept my little secret. I felt him watching me out of the corner of his eye. He was talking to Alex about some video game. Jess and I rolled our eyes. “Boys.” We said in unison.

That weekend, Zach and I went for a walk along the docks. It was a beautiful day outside. We walked hand in hand just talking. When we felt like taking a break, we sat down on a bench overlooking the water and watched the waves. He put his arm around me and pulled me into his side. He was whispering sweet nothings in my ear. “Part of me wishes it was cold out, so I could offer you my sweater.”

“Me too.” I smiled.

“You look adorable in them.”

I giggled and hid my face in his shoulder. “I do not.”

“You do though.”

“Okay.” I blushed. He grinned at me as I peeked up at him.

We spent another hour walking and enjoying our time together. When it started to get dark, Zach walked me back to his car. He held the door open for me and kissed me before closing it. He is so sweet. The radio was playing softly. We sat in content silence for most of the drive. The purr of the engine lulled me into a peaceful sleep. “Reagan.” He whispered. I didn’t want to wake up. “Reagan. Baby, wake up for a second please.”

“Hmm?” My eyes stayed closed

“I just wanted to know if you want anything from Starbucks.”

“Sleeping.”

“You can stay in the car and sleep if you want.”

“Kay.”

“I’ll get you something.” He whispered and kissed my temple before getting out and locking the car. When I woke up, there was a cup of tea in the cup holder for me. So thoughtful.

**

I was in the middle of getting ready for a date with Zach when someone rang my doorbell. Running to answer it, my eyes widened when I saw Monty. His cheek was already starting to bruise and his knuckles were bloody. “Hey.”

“Uh. Hey there friend.” Blood was dripping onto my porch. “Just a sec.” I held up a finger and ran to grab a towel. He wrapped it around his hand before stepping inside. Thankfully there won’t be blood on the floor now. He stood in the entryway. “How’s the other guy?” I asked as I pulled out my phone to text Zach. Monty didn’t answer.

I’m so sorry. I have to cancel tonight. I think I’m coming down with a cold. I want to try to nip it in the bud and sleep it off.  

That’s okay. Do you want me to come over? I can bring you soup.

No, thanks though Zach. I’m just going to go get ready for bed and sleep so I can be better by Monday.

Okay. I’m just a text or call away if you need anything. <3

Thank you. <3

Now that my plans with Zach were taken care of, I was able to focus on the boy at my front door. “You know you don’t have to just stand there. You’ve been here before since we broke up.”

“I know. I just wanted to give you some space while you dealt with whatever plans you and Zach had.” He walked into the house further before adding, “which you didn’t have to do.”

“It’s not a big deal. I told you I would be here for you, whatever you need. Do you want some ice for your hand?” I dug around in the freezer for the tray. He tried to protest but I saw the thinly veiled wince when he flexed it. Sighing, I pulled out the freezer bags and filled one with ice. Monty accepted it begrudgingly.

“I didn’t need ice Reagan.”

“And I don’t need five million dollars Montgomery. If you don’t want it though, I’ll gladly take it back. I’m sure Kerba would love to hear about whatever bullshit reason you give for your hand being fucked again is.” He shut up and kept the ice.

“Think he would believe me if I said it was an exercise accident?”

“No.” I stated, shaking my head. Monty moved into the living room, settling in on the couch. Grabbing the remote with his good hand, he started scrolling through channels.

“You know if you hit the guide button, you can just pick a channel.”

“Yeah, but then you don’t complain about it and I can’t irritate you.”

“And I wasn’t done.” He didn’t respond, so I went into the closet for my mom’s first aid kit. She kept it stocked at all times. It was hard explaining why it was so depleted so frequently when Monty and I were together and even harder to explain why it was full after we broke up.

Walking over to the couch, I sat down and opened the kit. I grabbed some gauze and took his hand in mine. There was too much blood, so I had to go get a cloth. His lip curled when the wet cloth touched his cut knuckles. My brow rose but I didn’t say anything. Monty grimaced as I wrapped his hand. “Is your cheek okay?”

“It’s fine.”

“Okay. Have you eaten?”

“Yeah. You don’t need to feed me too Reagan.”

“Okay.” I let him continue flipping channels, knowing when to not push him. He never was very nice when I was patching him up. He finally settled on some old black and white film. Neither of us watched it. We just spent the night sitting in silence. It gave me plenty of time to think about the fact that I had lied straight through my teeth to my very nice, charming boyfriend.

A couple of weeks after I had patched Monty up, I noticed he wasn’t at school. I was walking to my locker with Alex that morning. Scott was talking to Charlie about something when we passed. “I don’t know where he is, man.”

“But we have a huge government midterm today.”

“It’s Monty. He probably just overslept or decided to cut first period.” I stopped walking unconsciously. Then where is he?

“You’re probably right.” Charlie said, as he adjusted his bag. He bumped into me when he passed. “Sorry Reagan. Guess I didn’t see you there.”

“Huh? No worries Charlie.” I smiled as he took Alex’s hand and nodded to them when they left me in the hall.

“He isn’t at school yet.” Scott said, behind me.

“Okay. I don’t know why you think I care but whatever.”

Scott looked at me seriously. “You care. Might want to look like you care less though. His replacement is coming this way.” I didn’t respond.

By lunch, I had started to worry. Charlie was right. We had a government midterm today. Monty couldn’t miss it. I scanned the cafeteria. There was no sign of him anywhere. He wasn’t in math this morning either. I couldn’t stop myself from texting him. I know you aren’t this self-destructive. Get your ass to school.

“Hey baby. Who’re you texting?”

“Just Bryce. I loaned him some of my government notes in first so he could cram. I just need them back.” Zach took my hand and we walked to the jocks table. Still no sign of Monty. I didn’t sit down. “Hey Bryce, did you get my text?”

“Uh. No?”

“About my government notes that you borrowed?”

“What-?” I gave him a look. “Oh. Yeah, I put them in my locker. Meant to bring them to lunch but it slipped my mind.”

“Can we go get them? I wanted to read over them during lunch.”

“Sure?”

“Great.” I nodded towards the door. He stood and followed me out.

“So, what the hell was that?”

“Did Monty stay at your place last night?”

“No. It’s probably nothing. You know how he is. Disappears sometimes.” We stopped walking and stepped into an empty hall.

“Yeah. It’s just that he knows this is important. I worry is all. Unlike you, he actually needs to get a scholarship.”

“I need to too Reagan.”

“You don’t. But go ahead and think that if it helps you sleep.” I shook my head and pulled my history notes out of my bag. “We’ve been gone a while. Don’t want anyone getting suspicious.” I texted Monty again while we walked in silence back to the cafeteria. If you aren’t in government I will drive to your house and kick your unfairly shapely ass. You better have a damn good excuse for not being here.

When I got to government for fifth period, I sighed in relief. Monty was sitting in his seat next to mine. “Nice of you to finally show up.” I grumbled as I sat down.

“I was busy.”

“It’s a Wednesday during school. During midterm week no less. What was so important?”

“Kyla got a new piercing a few weeks ago.” He smirked.

“You’re disgusting.”

“What? Have you and Zach still not?” My silence spoke volumes. He snorted. “No wonder you’ve been so bitchy lately. Want me to talk to him? Explain that you have needs?”

“No. I want you to not skip school to fuck your,” I paused, “Kyla. Because you aren’t a dumbass.” Even though I was pissed at him, I still waited for him until he had finished his test. We stopped at his locker so he could drop off his books.

Zach was waiting for me at my locker. We had rescheduled our movie date to today under the guise of making sure my cold was for sure gone and until midterms were complete. “Hey Zachy.” I hugged him and kissed his chest.

“Hey beautiful. How was your midterm?”

“Not bad. I think I did okay.”

“That’s good. How was it actually Monty?”

“Could have been worse. No one cried, which kind of sucks.”

“Good to know.” I put my stuff in my locker, failing miserably at the organization I had at the beginning of the year.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Monty. At eight. When you’re supposed to be at school.”

“Okay. We can go with that. You kids have fun now.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes. A blush had started to creep up my neck though. Maybe tonight.

When we got to my place, I left Zach downstairs to go change. I threw on underwear that matched my bra. Just in case. I settled on a pair of yoga pants that framed my ass well and threw on a low-cut comfortable tank top. Back downstairs, Zach was taking a bag of popcorn out of the microwave. I felt his eyes go straight to my butt as he heard me come down. I smirked slightly. I hugged him tightly from behind at the counter. “You’re cute.”

“So are you.”

“I’m not cute.”

“You are. My giant teddy bear you. Oh, and there’s a box of Mike & Ike’s in the pantry for you.”

“Thanks.” He grinned.

We scrolled through Netflix for a few minutes. Nothing looked really interesting until we scrolled past Beautiful Creatures. It’s good to make out to. And I like it. Settling in for the night, I rest my head on his lap. I sighed happily as Zach stroked my hair. It was so nice to just have a quiet night in with him. He adjusted his position slightly a while into the movie and I sat up to change positions as well. Falling asleep was not in the plans for this evening. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer against his chest. Leaning back, I rested my head on his shoulder. I placed a few soft kisses on his neck and jaw.

Zach’s breathing picked up when my lips ghosted over a spot just under his chin. There it is. I smiled against it and kissed it again. He sighed and I pulled away to look at him. His pupils were slightly dilated. I leaned in to kiss him. He leaned in and our lips touched. It was soft and gentle at first, but quickly became deeper and more intense. This wasn’t the first time we made out at all. But this time felt different. More meaningful. Maybe it was the right choice to change my underwear. His tongue ran along my bottom lip, requesting entrance. I was more than happy to accommodate it. His hand made its way around to rest against the back of my neck. My body shifted into a kneeling position on the soft couch, so I had a better angle. One of my hands rested on his chest. The other wound its way around the back of his neck to play with the soft hairs at the top of it. So soft.

Our tongues playfully fought for dominance. Neither of us seemed too keen on winning. We were just enjoying the moment. The movie was still playing in the background, though neither of us cared. My hand traveled down his muscular body as our making out intensified. I played with the hem of his shirt. I wasn’t wanting to take it off. But I also wasn’t not wanting to take it off. My boyfriend has a very nice body. Zach took control and began leaning forward. He continued until my back hit the cushions. After some readjusting, I was laying comfortably with Zach’s large frame above me. I smirked slightly when I felt his pants beginning to tent. He only pulled away long enough to sit up and pull his shirt over his head. Ugh that is the hottest thing any man can do. The blue shirt dropped to the living room floor unceremoniously.

He kissed me once more before moving on to my neck. The initial kisses were light and teasing. He was still trying to draw a map of where all the sensitive spots were. I gasped when he brushed over my pulse point. Zach smiled softly against it. The kisses turned much less light and teasing after that. It was both sides under attack now. It felt so good. I couldn’t stop the quiet whimpers from escaping. I moaned his name and ran my fingers through his hair. Why do men get the super soft hair? God. This feels amazing. “I love you.” He breathed into my neck. My breath caught in my throat. What? It wasn’t like I had never thought I loved him. I did. I was just surprised that he said it first. When I didn’t say it back immediately, his kissing faltered. I didn’t mean to hesitate.

“I love you too.” I smiled, even though he couldn’t see it.

We continued making out for a while until it got too close to my parents getting home. It was a long weekend, so they didn’t care much if he was over late. We were both adults. On weekends, they trusted us to be alone later. Even if alone meant ‘my parents are in their room upstairs or down the hall so shhh’. On school nights, Zach was gone by ten thirty. Even though they trusted us, none of us needed to experience them walking into the house to see their daughter and her boyfriend getting hot and heavy on their couch. Instead, we cozied up on the couch under a blanket and watched a couple more movies. “It’s getting late Reagan. I should head home. Mom will probably send Deputy Standall to come get me soon.”

“Okay.” Zach and I walked to the door and hugged goodbye. I stood on my tip toes and kissed him gently. “I love you.” I whispered.

“I love you too.” He whispered back.

The next morning, I woke up with tiny purple marks on the sides of my neck. He doesn’t usually leave marks. I like it. I wore my hair down so my parents didn’t see them. I may be an adult, but they still preferred I didn’t go around sporting hickeys all the time. Probably part of why they hated Monty so much. My mom felt it was anti-feminist. It was letting a man mark their territory and property. I usually challenged that with her wedding set. Dad just preferred not to think of me as being in a physical relationship. He was aware of it of course. Just preferred not to acknowledge it. Which, I mean, fair.

At school, I couldn’t leave my hair down. It was too hot. I threw it in a high ponytail in history. Zach breathed in sharply when he saw my neck. I turned and smiled at him. “Thank you.” His eyes widened and he coughed to cover a groan. During lunch, I could feel the boys staring at me as they arrived at the table.

“Damn Zach. Didn’t think you had it in you.” Bryce sniggered. I rolled my eyes.

“I did. You finally corrupted him, Reagan?” Justin wiggled his brows at us. I blushed and hid my face in Zach’s chest. I was never this shy about marks with Monty. Maybe that was because no one made comments like that when he did it. Because it was expected. And they knew he would rip their tongues out. I expected Monty to comment. He surprised me when he only quirked a brow. I was less surprised when he pulled me aside before history.

“Don’t let your parents see those. You seem quite attached to him. Wouldn’t want your dad to actually kill him. Maybe you should leave your hair down for a while. Wouldn’t want anyone getting any ideas, would you?”

I was stunned at the unnecessary hostility in his tone. Why the fuck does he care? He didn’t say anything else. I turned as he walked away, leaving me alone in the hall. I still put my hair down though.

Zach and I continued to explore the more physical aspect of our relationship in the coming weeks. Nothing too serious, just some semi-clothed touching. Maybe the rare under clothes touches. Only enough to tease. Never enough to lead anywhere. I was both grateful and frustrated by it. He didn’t leave anymore marks on me either. He could tell I was uncomfortable with his friend’s comments and wanted to avoid it as much as possible. We had agreed to wait until we were both ready. Neither of us were virgins. But it was still new. It did leave me with plenty of time to wonder what it would be like though.

When I wasn’t thinking about all the dirty things Zach and I could get up to, or Zach in general, or Monty, I occupied my time with college applications. My top choice had been UNC Chapel Hill for many years. Even before I knew what I wanted to study. I worked hard in school because of it. There were other schools I would like to go to, but none compared to UNC in my mind. I remembered when Monty and I had talked about what we wanted to do after high school, and he looked amazed but slightly skeptical at my goal. I knew he didn’t mean anything bad by it. We both knew how big of a goal I was. Zach had a different look on his face. He looked at me with complete faith that it would happen. It wasn’t even a question to him. He didn’t verbalize the thought, but I could see it in his eyes. I just hoped he was right.

Admissions emails were due to go out any day now. I both couldn’t wait and absolutely dreaded it. I had applied to seven schools. Statistically speaking, I had to get into at least one of them. I just wasn’t sure which one. Zach tried his best to reassure me that everything would work out. Our friends agreed with him. Monty also tried to reassure me. And keep my mind off of it with his incessant flirting. It was nice. I had a constant I could focus on. Monty flirting with me, as strange as it sounded, was keeping me calm. Zach tried his best to keep my mind occupied. We talked about anything but schools unless we needed to. It was sweet.  I just wasn’t sure it was helping much.

The pring of an email notification on my phone pulled my attention away from the textbook I was reading. I quickly grabbed my laptop and logged on. Pulling up Gmail, I held my breath. It could be any email. An email titled University of North Carolina Chapel Hill Office of Registrar Admissions Decision sat at the top of my inbox in bold letters. This is it. Holy crap. I was shaking so hard I opened the wrong email first.

Back on my inbox page, I took a very deep breath and opened the email. Dear Miss Reagan Taylor, thank you for your application to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. We regret to inform you that you have not been accepted for admission at this time. I couldn’t read any further. There was more information, I just couldn’t bring myself to read any of it. My eyes had begun to fill with tears. I didn’t get in. I worked so hard. And I still didn’t get in. Numbly, I moved the computer off my lap and grabbed my phone. Unconsciously, I selected a contact and put it to my ear as I felt myself beginning to dissociate.

“Hello?”

“Hi. A-are you busy right now?”

“I don’t have to be. What’s wrong?”

“C-can you come here? Please?”

“I’ll be right there.”

I numbly walked out of my room and went to unlock the front door. In my room, I sat in the center of my bed and hugged my knees. Willing the tears to remain at bay, I screwed my eyes shut. That didn’t do much to help, because all I saw was a string of the words not been accepted running over and over again.

A knock on my bedroom door caused me to look up. I wasn’t aware of how much time had passed. He was standing in my doorway with his hands tucked in his pockets. “I didn’t get in.” I said softly. My voice cracked. His long stride had him at my bedside and sitting down within only a few steps. He pulled me close to him and I cried into his shoulder. He laid us back and he held me as I cried. I felt so vulnerable as we laid there silently.

It must have been at least an hour before we moved. It had started getting dark outside. “Thank you, Monty.”

“You needed me.”

“I know. I just,” I paused, “thank you.”

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” I walked him to the door and went to take a shower. When I got out, I saw that Zach had texted me. I love you and I hope you’re having a good day. I sighed to myself. I couldn’t bring myself to find the energy to text him back. Instead, I crawled into bed and fell into a fitful sleep.

The next day, I threw on a pair of sweatpants and one of Zach’s t-shirts. I was too upset about the email to really care about looking nice. I met Zach at his car in the parking lot. He had a cup of hot chocolate for me and had his adorable happy grin plastered across his face. “Morning beautiful.” I took the to go cup gratefully.

“Morning.” He put his arm around me as we walked, and I leaned against his large frame.

“How was your night?”

“It was okay. Yours?”

“It was alright. Anything exciting happen?” Exciting is not the word I would use.

“Uh, no. Not really.” We had reached my locker. I opened it and dug around for my stuff.

“Hey, Reagan.” Luke called from across the hall. I lifted my arm and waved at him without turning around.

“What’s up Luke?” I asked when he was at my locker. Some of the football team was with him, including Monty.

“You know, it goes. I heard back from UNC yesterday. Did you?”

“Uh.” I cleared my throat and tried to will away more tears. I didn’t miss the sharp intake of breath Monty made. “I uh… Yeah. I didn’t get in.” I muttered. There was confused murmuring all around me. The only one who didn’t say anything was Monty. I didn’t have to look up to see that Zach was glaring daggers at him.

“How did they not accept you?” Charlie asked.

“I don’t know Char. It was a long shot anyway. Their acceptance rate is twenty three percent total. It’s even less for out of state applicants. Applicants who aren’t being given sports scholarships anyway. No offence Luke.”

“None taken. I’m sorry Reagan.”

“It’s okay. I applied to other schools.” I cleared my throat again. “I have to get to class.

“I’ll walk you.” Zach said. I nodded and took his hand in mine.

We stopped on the way when he pulled me aside into an empty classroom. “You didn’t mention that you heard back from UNC.”

“I know. I just… I needed some time to process. Can we talk about this later? I have a reading due at the beginning of class.”

“Sure. I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Of course.” I kissed him on the cheek. I sat through my classes in an almost daze. Monty sent me a couple of texts that made me smile. Zach also sent a couple of goofy pictures to try and cheer me up. My smile didn’t quite meet my eyes as much. I attributed it to being upset about the admission decision.

I met Zach at the doors to the cafeteria and he hugged me. I smiled sadly into his chest. I picked at my lunch silently. I could feel Monty and Zach’s eyes on me. They were watching both me and each other. No one else picked up on the tension. “Did you want to come over after school Zach? My parents are at work.”

“That works. I’ll let my mom know we are studying after school.”

“Studying each other?” Justin smirked. I rolled my eyes. Zach threw a piece of cheese at him.

“Fuck off.”

“Why do you throw food at each other?”

“It’s fun.” They shrugged.

“Alright then. I have a free period so I’m going to finish a project. I’ll see you guys later.” I leaned over and kissed Zach.

A few minutes after I sat down and pulled up my assignment, someone sat next to me. “So. You didn’t tell Zach?”

“No Monty.” I didn’t look up from my computer.

“You didn’t tell him you called me either, did you?”

“No. But I’m sure it will come up tonight when we talk.”

“You’ll let me know if everything is okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I have class so I’ll text you hot stuff.”

“You better.” I smirked.

Zach and I met each other at my place. My parents were at work and I think both of us knew this was going to become a fight, so I wasn’t surprised when he agreed to come over at lunch without a thought.. We danced around each other in silence. Neither of us knew how to react to the tension between us. With Montgomery it was easy. He would be in a mood or I would be upset about something, we would yell at each other for a while, and then… then it was fixed. I had never fought with Zach before.

“Why didn’t you tell me about UNC?”

“I told you. I needed time to process. To think. That was my top choice Zach. My plans literally changed overnight. That takes time to think through.”

“But I’m your boyfriend. I’m supposed to help you with that stuff. To be there for you.”

“I know. But I need to take time to process before I can deal, okay?”

“Right. Time to process. That’s why Monty knew?”

“How do you know he knew?”

“His reaction this morning. Plus, I heard him talking to Scott and Luke about it in class.”

“Are you mad I didn’t tell you, or are you mad I told Monty?”

“Both.”

“I don’t know why I told him okay?”

“No Reagan. Not okay.”

“I didn’t do it intentionally Zach. I just… dialed. I wasn’t even looking at my phone.”

“Is that supposed to make this better? That your instinct was to call your ex-boyfriend and not me?”

“No. I’m saying that I wasn’t even thinking clearly. All I knew was that in an instant my entire future was fading before my eyes.”

“So, you called Monty.”

“Yes Zach. I called him. I called him and he came. He dropped everything and he came to me.”

“What happened?”

“What do you mean?”

“What. Happened. Reagan?”

“Nothing. I just cried. And cried. And then he left. I was upset.”

“Why couldn’t you call me?”

“Oh my god, Zach. I wasn’t thinking. I can’t explain to you why I called him and not you. I just picked a contact without looking and it was his.”

“Do you still love him?” His question caught me off guard. Do I?

“No.” My voice sounded sure. My brain and heart didn’t believe me. Hopefully Zach would.

“You don’t. Why do you still flirt with him?”

“I don’t love him. As for the flirting, that’s just how we talk to each other. We’ve always done it.”

“Well, I don’t like it.”

“Noted.”  

Zach scoffed. “You flirt with your ex in front of me.”

“I don’t mean anything by it.”

“That doesn’t matter. Do you not think it’s weird that you’re still super close to your ex?”

“Not really, no. He is my friend. You can be friends with an ex, you know.”

“Most people can’t, actually.”

“So what? You’re mad that I’m friends with Monty?”

“I’m not mad Reagan. It’s just a lot to deal with.”

“Why?”

“Do you know how it feels to learn stuff about you, because your ex is talking about it? Or because you two are joking about something?”

“No. I guess I never really thought about it like that. It’s not that weird to us. But it does make sense.” I sat down on my couch. My adrenaline was leveling out again and I felt like an asshole.

“It doesn’t feel good.” He sat down next to me.

“I’m sorry Zach. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“I know.”

“I’ll talk to Monty about it. Tell him we need to stop the flirting and stuff.” Zach took my hand gently.

“Okay.” I rested my head on his shoulder and he pulled me into his lap. I was shocked that a fight had been resolved that easily and cleanly.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Monty and I met at the docks to talk after Zach and I fought. “Hey.”

“Hey sweetheart.” I grimaced slightly.

“Zach and I talked.”

“Okay. How did it go?”

“He was pretty ticked off that you knew about UNC before he knew. And that you came over instead of him.”

“But I’m your friend.”

“And he is my boyfriend. Also, for the record, you aren’t just my friend Monty. You’re my ex.”

“So?”

“So, you aren’t just my friend.”

“Why does it matter?”

“Because. The way you talk to me, it’s like we never broke up. You’re the one who said you wanted to break up. That you weren’t ready for a serious relationship. Or any relationship for that matter.”

“Is it you, or Zach that has a problem with it?” My silence spoke volumes. “I see. Well, you go tell your boyfriend that we talked.”

“Monty. I do feel bad about it. It’s not fair to Zach to have to deal with you flirting with me and making moves all the time.”

“You know, if I believed that you felt bad, or that you were honestly asking me to stop, I would. But I know you. I know this isn’t coming from you.”

“Montgomery. You need to stop. I’m asking you to stop.”

“Fine. I’ll cool it.”

“Thank you. That’s all I ask. Still friends?”

“Of course, Rea.” He hugged me tightly. I felt like I would let tight hugs slide because I liked them. We walked to our cars together quietly. I didn’t want to have to go or have things change, but I knew that if I wanted to stay with Zach, they would have to.

Monty was true to his word for all of three days. We were still friendly. The flirting had stopped though. There was still a buzz in the air when we interacted. It was easier to ignore now. At least, I thought it had stopped. I was painting my finger and toenails in the bathroom on Saturday night. It was my weekly self-care night. My phone rang before I could decide on a face mask to do while my nails dried. I smiled but rolled my eyes a bit when I saw who was calling. “Hi Monty.” I tried to sound annoyed but couldn’t keep the smile out of my voice.

“Hey Reagan.” He slurred slightly. I could hear the sound of boys falling and goofing off in the background. Bryce is having a thing, I guess.

“What’s up Buddy?”

“Jus’ guys night.”

“You don’t say.”

“You sound relaxed.”

“And you sound mighty drunk. It’s Saturday.”

“Right. Right. Girly night.” He chuckled.

“Yes. Is there a reason you called?”

“Wanted to say hi.”

“Oh.” I thought we had talked about this.

“I miss you.” He slurred. Oh boy.

“Uh. Miss you too.” I grimaced. He was drunk so I wasn’t going to just pretend I hadn’t heard him. Montgomery wouldn’t remember this in the morning.

“I’m an idiot.”

“No, you aren’t.”

“I am. I let you go.”

“Monty….”

“I love you.” My eyes widened. No. I felt the corners of my eyes begin to fill with tears. Looking up, I blinked them away. I didn’t know what to say.

“I-.”

“I’m in love with you.”

“Monty.” I whispered. Why is this happening? We talked about this. At least he won’t remember this tomorrow. But I can’t just act like it didn’t happen.

“Buddy, get off the phone and come play.” Garrison called in the background.

“Gotta go.” Monty said before hanging up. What the actual fuck just happened?

I didn’t text Monty or Zach all day Sunday. I didn’t actually talk to or text anyone aside from my parents. I woke up on Monday dreading school. I just laid in bed and stared at my ceiling. I would see Zach and have to act like that phone call didn’t happen. And that Montgomery hadn’t said what he said. I would also see him. I don’t know if I can do that. He’s your friend. He was wasted when he called you. He won’t remember it. Taking a deep breath, I threw off the covers and got up. I stopped for a coffee on my way to school to try to calm my nerves, even though I was more of a tea person.

I walked into the school and as luck would have it, the first person I saw, was Montgomery freaking De la Cruz. Thank you, Universe. Instantly, I turned on my heel and walked out of the building before he could see me. Books weren’t important now. I had to avoid him. I power walked to the nearest exit and stopped by a large tree. Leaning against it, I took a deep breath and contemplated ditching school. That wasn’t going to be possible. Because the universe decided to say fuck Reagan today. Zach was walking towards me from the parking lot. He waved. I pretended I hadn’t seen it and ignored him. He stopped when he got to my tree. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Hey. Yeah. I’m okay.”

“You’re breathing kind of heavy. And leaning against a tree.”

“I’m fine Zach.”

“Okay.” He didn’t sound convinced. Before he could say anything more, I picked up my bag and brushed past him. I took the long way around to the back of the building to physics. I slumped in my seat and doodled through the whole class. I was doing well enough that the teacher wasn’t going to call on me.

I spent the next week avoiding Monty. I didn’t answer his texts. I took different routes to class. As far as I was concerned, he didn’t exist anymore. Except for the near constant string of text messages that I was getting from him. And his confession running over in my head any time I had a free moment to think. Why did he have to do that? I was getting on just fine. Zach and I were in a good place again. We agreed that we would just be friends. Fine. Fine. Fine.

I was also distant with Zach. I felt awful about it. You love him. He can say it to you sober. He loves you. If he saw me in the halls, he would come over and I would let him walk me to class. We would hold hands. My grip wasn’t as tight as usual. He would put his arm around me. I wouldn’t lean against him. I think he could tell something was off. Being Zach, he wouldn’t bring it up though. Since I was avoiding my two favourite jocks, I couldn’t exactly sit with Zach at lunch. I sat with Jess and Alex instead. Without Zach. They exchanged looks the first day but said nothing.

I went to the baseball game after school to support Zach. And to make it seem like nothing was wrong between him and I or Monty and I. I didn’t want people asking too many questions. Questions I didn’t want to answer. Monty’s drunken declaration had brought up feelings I had spent the better part of a year and a half, trying to bury. I was the one that wanted more from him. I was the one who needed more. When it was clear I wasn’t going to get more, I settled. And then when we broke up, I was comfortable in the fact that even though I loved him and I felt like he loved me, it would go unsaid and we could just be friends. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that was why we were so close and flirted with each other. While I wasn’t in love with him anymore, I still did love him. Even though I told Zach I wasn’t. Liar. You are still hopelessly in love with him. Maybe. But I can’t have him the way I want. And I love Zach. I just haven’t decided if I’m in love with him yet.

After the game, I waited to say bye to Zach and congratulate him on the win. “Congratulations 16. You won.” I smiled as he walked up to me. I was waiting at the bottom of the bleachers.

“Of course, we did. I had my biggest cheerleader in the stands.” He grinned. I couldn’t help but melt. Pushing away any and all thoughts of Montgomery’s phone call, I threw my arms around his neck and let him scoop me up into his arms as we kissed. My legs wrapped around his waist and his hands held my thighs.

“Get a room.” Bryce called out to us as he passed with some of the guys. The jocks cheered and whistled. I flipped them off and pulled away from the kiss.

“Two things. One, you don’t have girlfriends because you whistle at girls. We aren’t dogs. Two, fuck off.” I called back.

“I have a girlfriend.” Anders yelled.

“I know. She’s awesome. That’s two of twenty. Now shut up and leave us be assholes.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Zach let out a loud laugh when they walked away. “That was amazing.”

“Yeah. It kind of was. Sadly, I have to go work on a project. Walk me to my car?” I said as I jumped out down.

“Lead the way.”

I was working on my project when Monty called me. I sent it straight to voicemail. He called again. I let it ring out. He called back. This man just doesn’t quit. Again, I let it ring. He called a fourth time. Jesus. I answered it on the second to last ring. “What?”

“Woah. Who pissed in your tea today?”

“You called me four times in a row. What do you want Montgomery?”

“Well, I was calling to see why you have been ignoring me. But now I’m going to ask why you’re being such a bitch?”

“I’m busy. And you called me four times in a row.”

“Busy with what?”

“A project.”

“Okay. I’ll keep this quick then. Since a project is apparently more important than your best friend.” I didn’t respond. “Why have you been avoiding me, Reagan?”

“I haven’t been avoiding you.”

“Bull. I haven’t seen or heard from you in almost a week. Are you mad at me or something?”

“No. I’ve been busy.”

“With Zach?”

“No. With stuff. I have a life outside of Zach Dempsey and you, you know.”

“Stuff. Okay. What stuff?”

“School stuff. Trying to figure out what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. Stuff.”

“Alright. I don’t believe you though. Did I do something wrong?” Yes. You did. Something very wrong. That you apparently can’t even remember. Meaning you didn’t have to just be drunk to say it. You had to be wasted.

“No. I’ve just been busy.” I sighed.

“We’re okay?”

“Yes Monty. We’re okay.”

“Okay good. Did you want to do lunch tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

“Great. Rosie’s at one?”

“I’ll be there.” I threw my phone on my bed when I hung up. This man is infuriating. Why can’t I say no to him?

To no one’s surprise, Monty didn’t stop flirting with me. He made comments about my outfits or little things that he knew about me. It had finally driven Kyla away. I feared that Zach would be the next person he drove away. I didn’t fall into his trap anymore and let him bait me into flirting with him again. He tried hard. But I didn’t want to go back on my word to Zach. I couldn’t control what Monty did. But I could control how I reacted. So, any time Monty flirted with me, I ignored it. I pushed down the little flutter in my stomach and blush that threatened to creep up my neck. Zach would roll his eyes and smirk if he was around to watch the spectacle that had become Monty and my interactions. We both figured he would grow tired of not getting a response and quit eventually. I have no idea why. Montgomery De la Cruz never was one to back down from a challenge.

As the school year started heading towards its close, the big senior trip was coming up. Every year, the school sent the senior class on a trip. It was supposed to be educational and technically was fair game on any exams except our government finals when we got back. But really, it was to let us blow off some steam and get us into a different environment, so we were less likely to do a Senior Skip Day or senior prank. The only teachers who tested on it were the hard asses. This year we would be going to DC to “learn about the government and how our nation’s democracy runs.”

The senior class was abuzz with excitement about our trip to DC. It was fully paid for by the school due to it being a mandatory trip, aside from the few thousand we needed to fundraise for. It wasn’t cheer camp so people were more willing to donate for a bake sale, over Dollar Valentines. Typically, everyone shared rooms at the hotel. This year however, there was an uneven number of girls in the class. Meaning that one lucky girl, would get a whole room to herself for the week. To make it a fair draw, every grade twelve girl’s name was put into a raffle. A random teacher from the neighbouring school then pulled a name from the bunch, to keep it impartial. An email would be sent out to every girl, letting her know if she was picked.

I held my phone tightly all day on draw day. It was a week out from the day we were leaving. We weren’t told when the email would go out. Only that we would know by tonight. I hope it’s me. At dinner, my phone pringed. I shot up like I had been bitten.

“Reagan. You know the rules. No phones at dinner.” My mom scolded.

“But Mom. It’s draw day for the single room. I need to go check. Please? Thirty seconds. Promise.”

“Okay. Go check.” She waved me off. I ran to the counter and grabbed my phone. Opening the email, I read it intently. Reagan Taylor- Single room. I screeched in excitement.

“I got the single room! I got the single!”

“That’s wonderful honey. Now come finish your broccoli.” I quickly texted Zach. I got it. :) He replied while I was finishing dinner. That’s great. :)

I texted Monty after dinner as well. I got the single room. He replied while I was getting ready for bed.

Excellent. What better place for you and Dempsey to screw each other silly? Can’t wait to hear all the details.

You are such a creep.

You like it.

The Friday before we left, Zach came over after school to help me pack. My parents were having date night, so it was just the two of us for the foreseeable future. Ever the gentleman, he helped me carry my suitcase up from the storage room. The rose gold hard case set was laid out on my floor. I put Zach in charge of folding my clothes, since he was the self-proclaimed “master packer”. He pouted slightly when I said he couldn’t fold my underwear. I managed to sneak in a few more sexy sets as well. We would be gone for a week. A lot can happen in six nights.

“Do you like this shirt?” I asked him.

“It’s nice.”

“I could wear it to the Capital.”

“Yeah. Or dinner.”

“There’s going to be dinner, hmmm?”

He walked towards me and took the shirt from my hands. “There might be. There also might be a lot more than dinner.” Zach wrapped his arms around me.

“Oh really?”

“Mhmm. If you want more than dinner.”

“I do have a single room.”

“That you do. Bring the shirt.”

“Okay.” I felt a blush creeping all the way up to my ears.

After some more packing, we took a break. A very nice break. We were laying on my bed. The suitcase was still open in the corner of my room. Zach shifted so he was resting his head in his hand on his elbow. I looked up at him and grinned. He grinned back. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He leaned down and kissed me softly. I kissed him back and wrapped my arms around his neck. Zach smiled into the kiss and moved to climb on top of me. He straddled my waist so that I was on my back again. The more he kissed me, the more I wanted this to go further.

My hands left his neck and went to pull on his shirt. I was trying to pull it off without breaking our kiss. When it was halfway up his torso, he pulled away from the kiss and pulled the cotton over his head. I smiled demurely at him. He began kissing me again and our tongues did their playful dance. I moaned softly when he kissed my neck. He didn’t suck hard enough to leave any marks. I sat up to take off my shirt when he pulled it up my stomach. He kissed me once again and I carded my fingers through his hair. My breathing started to get heavier as his Zach’s hands explored my body. My hips bucked lightly. He unzipped my jeans and I wiggled them off. They were pushed to the end of the bed along with our shirts. I struggled with his belt a little. I wasn’t used to it yet. It still felt foreign under my fingers. Finally, I had removed it. I unzipped his jeans and Zach kicked them off. He moved his kisses down my chest, brushing over the top of my bra. I sighed. My hands moved to his to the front of his torso and I ran my fingers up and down his chest. The skin was smooth, but I felt goosebumps form where I touched. We were still in our underwear. This feel so… nice. Nice is good. So why does it feel like I have no clue what I’m doing?

We made out passionately. Our exploration of each other’s bodies continued. There was light teasing and nipping at spots. It felt good. Zach unhooked my bra and I pulled it off. It landed at the end of the bed with our other clothes. I gasped when he grew bolder and sucked a pebbling nipple into his mouth. His tongue flicked it a few times and I moaned his name. He used his other hand to roll and tease my other nipple. My hips couldn’t be stopped from bucking. I wanted more. I reached for his boxers. I was only able to brush his V-line. He pulled away from me.

“Did you want something?” He asked cheekily.

“Mhmm.” I moaned and reached for him again. My eyes were trained on the bulge in his boxers. They widened as he pulled them off and his cock sprang out. Reaching out, I grasped it in my hand. It felt hot and heavy. He moaned softly when I began stroking.

To make things easier and more comfortable, he rolled over so he was on his back. I sat up some and watched his face. Zach’s eyes were closed, and his brow was furrowed. He looked relaxed. I leaned down and kissed him. His fingers tangled into my hair as he deepened the kiss. My strokes became more confident and picked up speed. The quiet moans and grunts he was emitting were very encouraging. Soon enough, his hips were bucking. He sat up to stop me. I looked at him with dark eyes. He smiled at me and sat up, pushing me down on the soft mattress. Zach was gazing at me with the most kind and loving expression I had ever seen. My heart swelled.

I couldn’t wait any longer and reached to pull down my underwear. Zach pulled them down my legs and threw them towards the end of my bed. I got comfortable as he reached out for me. His fingers quickly found my core, and then my clit. My breath hitched when he rubbed it. He was gentle. I silently thanked him for that. Gathering some lubrication, he spent a little while trying different gestures and patterns as he ran his fingers through my core. There was some back-and-forth movement, as well as some up and down. It felt good but it wasn’t quite it. He tried circles and I moaned his name loudly. “That’s it. Do that. Do more of that.” My hips twisted. He leaned down to kiss me again while he rubbed me. Zach continued to rub my clit softly in circular motions. I moaned lowly as a finger entered me. It was slow and calculated. He continued to stimulate me for a few minutes, varying the speed and intensity of both his rubbing and thrusting. My hips wiggled in an attempt to get more stimulation.

Deciding I was aroused enough, he pulled away and looked at me questioningly. “There is a new box of condoms in my sock drawer.” He nodded and stood to grab one. Once the condom was properly and securely in place, he climbed back on top of me. I felt dwarfed by his large frame. He rubbed my clit and fingered me a few more times, before I felt his cock brush against my folds. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for him to enter me. I was expecting something quick. Like ripping off the band aid. Instead, he slowly pushed his way into my body. I groaned and my head rolled to the side. His breath hitched when he bottomed out.

“Shit.” He cursed in my ear.

After a few beats, he began to slowly thrust. I tried to match his slow, sweet pace. It just felt so different. Nice. Good. But still different. Zach started kissing up and down my neck again. I smiled and eventually, was able to match his thrusts. They began speeding up slightly and he intertwined his fingers with mine. I squeezed his hands. I closed my eyes when he kissed me. It almost felt like there was something missing. While I was trying to focus on the sensations coursing through my body, I realized that we weren’t just having sex. We were making love. I froze slightly but covered it by tensing up a little. I could feel my orgasm approaching anyway. I could tell it would be different than normal. I was both excited and a little scared.

As though Zach could sense my thoughts, he kissed me deeply and murmured against my lips, “let go.” His thrusts picked up speed and my hips stilled. I felt the knot in my stomach start to tighten and I clutched his shoulders. I moaned loudly as I felt the knot snap. My orgasm was different than it had been in the past. It was good, but it was less intense. There was no convulsing or extreme contortion. He continued to thrust, pulling me through my orgasm. My muscles relaxed and I slumped for a second. I could tell Zach’s high was in his reach. I began whispering dirty nothings in his ear and telling him that I loved him to try to get him to finish. I kissed his neck and nibbled softly. His thrusting became sloppy and he groaned loudly as he peaked.

With a laboured grunt, Zach rolled off of me and pulled me close to him. I closed my eyes for a second. Then I remembered I had to go to the bathroom. I rolled over and sat up slowly. When I returned to bed, Zach had discarded the condom and put on his boxers. I pulled his shirt on, along with a clean pair of underwear. Curling up in his arms, I rested my eyes for a while. “I love you.” I whispered as I drifted off.

“I love you too.” We woke up an hour later and finished packing, sneaking coy glances at each other.

Tuesday morning started unfairly early. We had to be at the airport by eight for our flight at ten. My alarm went off at five thirty. I protested as I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Slowly, I made my way to the bathroom to shower. I didn’t need to look super cute, but I at least wanted to smell good. It was a five-hour flight. I double checked that I had everything packed while my hair towel dried. My dad knocked on my door and I grunted at him. The shower had done little to wake me up. “Morning Kiddo. I’m just going to take your suitcase downstairs.”

“K.” I muttered.

Downstairs after I got dressed, I poured myself a very large cup of coffee. I didn’t really like sleeping on planes. Plus, I could get a tea after we got through security. My mom had offered to drive Zach and I to the airport, so I called him to make sure he was up. “Good morning Baby.”

“Good morning babe.” He sighed on the other end of the line.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Jut tired.”

“Me too. Mom just wanted to make sure you were up.”

“I am. Stuff is by the door and everything.”

“Oh good. See you in half an hour?”

“Okay. See you then. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I hung up and texted Monty to make sure he was up. Get up loser, we’re going to DC.

I’m up. And it’s too early for bending Mean Girls quotes.

It’s never too early. He replied with an eye roll emoji. I shook my head and didn’t answer.

“Reagan, are you ready to go?” My mom asked.

“Yeah.” I grabbed my backpack and rolled my suitcase out to the car. Dad lifted it into the back and checked that mom and I were securely buckled. Have to make sure my girls are safe. He had said when I asked him about doing that when I was younger. I still didn’t let him see the way I smiled about it.

Zach was waiting on his front steps for us. It was still early and May was still asleep. He waved and mom opened the back hatch for him. I looked in the rear view mirror and smirked at the way his muscles bulged when he lifted his suitcase into the car. He kissed me when he got in and greeted my mom. “Thanks for the ride Mrs. Taylor.”

“Of course, Zach.” She smiled at him from the driver’s seat. Once we got onto the highway, traffic was fairly light. It was still pretty early so we beat most of the commuters. It grew heavier as we got closer to the airport. None of us were surprised. Especially given that an entire high school senior class was descending upon it.

Mom parked in the drop off zone for the airline. Zach got out and walked around the car to open my door. He hugged me tightly as I stepped out. I breathed in the fresh scent of his cologne. “Hi.”

“Hi.” I looked up at him and grinned. Throwing on my backpack, I grabbed Zach’s while he got our suitcases. Inside, we met up with our friends. Clay was basically dragging Justin through the airport. Alex and Charlie both looked very awake for seven forty-five in the morning. Must be nice. I nodded at Monty and Scott from across the room. They were talking to Bryce and Luke.

Getting our tickets and going through security went shockingly well. Since we had so much time to kill, the teachers let us roam the gate freely. We had to swear left and right we would be on the plane. I abandoned Zach with Justin and Alex to go in search of a piping hot cup of tea. “Reagan.” Monty said as he approached me.

“Morning Monty. It’s tea time.”

“I need coffee. I’ll go with you.” We walked through the gate silently. I could feel his eyes on me. He was trying way too hard to seem like he wasn’t

staring at me.

“Can I help you?”

“There’s something different about you.”

“Oh? Like what?”

“You seem… less tense.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He stopped for a minute. “Wait. Did you two finally?” I blushed. “You did. Was it good?”

“Yeah.” I replied. It wasn’t a lie. It was good.

“Yeah? Better than us?” I turned to him, perplexed.

“Is that trick question? How do you want me to answer that?”

“Is that a no?” He smirked.

“No. It’s not an answer. Because it’s none of your business.”

“Alright, don’t tell me.”

Tea and coffee in hand, we walked back to the gate to sit until our plane boarded. The minutes ticked by. Zach was watching YouTube videos on his phone. I peeked over my book at him. He looked up and smiled. I felt eyes on us and turned to Monty. He was smirking at Zach. I rolled my eyes, mouthed piss off to him, and went back to my book. The flight to DC was pretty boring. I was able to sit with Zach and we watched a movie for the first half of it. Afterwards, I listened to some music and read while he slept.

We spent the first night in DC relaxing after a long flight. I enjoyed having a single room. It was quiet and I didn’t have to argue with anyone about what bed I would get. Jess came to do a face mask and have some girl time. It was nice. “So, tell me. What’s new with you and Zach.”

“There’s not much to tell.” I fibbed. She saw right through me.

“Oh, come on Reagan. There is totally something to spill.”

“We finally had sex.”

“No way!”

“Yeah.”

“How was it?” I hesitated. “Girl talk.” She smiled at me and I knew none of what I said would get back to Zach.

“It was nice.”

“And?”

“Good.”

“Nice and good?”

“Yes.”

“That’s the best you can come up with?”

“I don’t know Jessica. It was nice.”

“But it’s supposed to be more than nice.”

“I know. And it wasn’t bad. It was just….”

“No. Don’t even think that. We cleansed. Remember?”

“Okay Ryan Shaver.” I laughed.

“Still.”

“I know. It was just different is all.”

“I get that.” She sighed wistfully. I tried to scrub the mental image of Jessica and Justin going at it like jack rabbits. Ew. No no. Bad.

We toured the Smithsonian on Wednesday and went to the Capital on Thursday to see Congress. I stuck close to Zach the whole time. Monty continued his flirting. It was as though he really had no idea what he had said to me last month on the phone. I did my best to ignore it. But it was starting to get on my nerves. I could tell Zach was growing frustrated as well. While it got on my nerves, I was having a harder and harder time ignoring the butterflies in my stomach when Montgomery tried to charm his way to me. He could tell. I just hoped Zach couldn’t. Our interactions had been tense since last month.

Tensions between me and Monty come to a head in DC. It was Friday night, three days into our weeklong trip. I was coming back from an evening coffee run with Zach and Justin. Monty was milling about with Bryce and Luke outside. I tried to ignore the pang in my chest when I saw them. Monty caught my eye and subtly nodded at me. No one in either of our groups noticed. I pulled out my phone and texted him. My room. 10 mins. He waited until we were inside the hotel to read my message. There was no response. I assumed he got the message and made to excuse myself to my room. “That was really great guys. I’m actually pretty tired and I still have to fill in my trip journal for the day. I think I’m going to head up to my room.”

“Okay, night Reagan.” Justin nodded. He seemed slightly suspicious. I chalked it up to him having his own experience with bullshit excuses.

“Do you want me to walk you up?” Zach asked.

“No, don’t worry. You hang out with Justin. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Alright. Text me when you get upstairs. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I kissed him softly.

Upstairs, I threw my backpack on the unoccupied bed and threw my hair up. Since I would be getting ready for bed soon anyway, I brushed my teeth and changed into my pyjamas while I waited for Montgomery. I was putting my toiletries back in my suitcase when he knocked on my door sharply. He was standing on the other side of the door, his hands once again buried in his pockets when I opened it. “You rang.”

“Hi.” I moved out of the doorway and let him in.

“What did you want to talk about Reagan?”

“No one saw you come up here, did they?”

“No. they didn’t. Is that what you’re worried about? Someone knowing that I’m in your room?”

“Of course not. Its just….”

“Zach. You can say his name. I’m a big boy.”

“I told Zach that he didn’t have to worry about you and I.” Monty scoffed, bitterly.

“Yeah. Nothing to worry about with us. Sure.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“If I was in his place, I would worry too.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean Montgomery?”

“Last month, you told me that we aren’t just friends. And you weren’t wrong. Because people who are just friends don’t look for each other in crowds. Or stop when other people are talking about them. The thing you forgot to mention is how unfair you were being to both of us.”

“I don’t do that.”

“Bullshit. I’ve seen it. And if I’ve seen it, so has Zach. He isn’t that oblivious.”

“Zach has a problem with our friendship.”

“Oh, so now you admit it. Least I got that out of you. Only took a month.”

“It makes him uncomfortable that we are so close. And I feel bad about it. I told you that already.”

“If you expect me to believe you care so much about how our friendship affects your boyfriend, then why did you call me about UNC as soon as you found out and not him? Why did you lie and cancel plans with him to spend time with me? Why is it that until a month ago, you flirted with just as much intensity as I did? Why did-.” I opened my mouth to stop him. “No. You don’t get to talk right now Reagan. It’s my turn to talk.” I closed my mouth and looked down. I was stunned and a little bit scared. He had never yelled at me like that before. “Why did you ask me to come get you when you got too drunk at a party on a college visit and not him? Even after you told me things had to change? Because I would love to hear you explain that.”

I was silent. I knew I couldn’t deny any of what he had said. We weren’t just friends. We didn’t know how to be friends. Or we never wanted to be. “Well?”

“I… you weren’t being fair to me either Monty. I’m not the only one at fault here. I wouldn’t have had to cancel on Zach if you hadn’t shown up to my house unannounced needing first aid. Again. You’re the one who started it with the flirting. As soon as you saw that I was moving on and could be happy with someone else, you fucking start flirting with me and talking to me like you had never stopped. Like you hadn’t broken my heart that day. And maybe I let it go on too long. Maybe I shouldn’t have reciprocated the flirting. But it made me feel good. And it was fun. Until it started having an impact on my actual relationship. With someone who is able to admit that he loves me. You want to stand here and talk to me about looking for someone in a crowd or stopping when people talk about them? What about when you drunk dialed me telling me that you love me? What about how anytime we are alone together you waste time leaving just so you don’t have to go? I’m not the only one at fault here. I asked you to stop flirting with me and you didn’t.”

“Is that phone call what did it?”

“I’m with someone who doesn’t have to be drunk to tell me that he loves me. And no. The call didn’t do anything. But it’s nice to know you remember it.”

“You want me to say it? I’m completely sober. You really want to hear me say it?”

“Yes.” I said loudly, exasperated.

“Easy. I love you.”

We were silent for a minute, finally aware of the tension in the air. I made the first move and kissed him. It was chaste at first. I was giving him a chance to take it back. When he didn’t pull away or stop it, I deepened the kiss. He wrapped his arms around me, picked me up, and placed me on the bed. His hands trailed down my body and played with the hem of my shirt. He sat on the bed beside me and pulled me on top of him. I straddled his waist and sat in his lap, slipping my hands under his t-shirt. When I traced his abs, he sucked in a breath. Everything with him felt so natural. So easy. I slipped my hands out from his shirt and pulled away from our kiss. He looked puzzled until I pulled off my shirt. I nodded at him and he pulled off his flannel. Next to go was his t-shirt. His pupils were blown. He was staring at me, not with hunger like I had expected, but in awe and admiration.

I kissed him again, but I quickly pulled away. I kissed down his neck, searching for the pulse point. We fell backwards in a mess of limbs and kisses on the plush hotel bed. His hands were on my hips instantly to steady me. I had found his pulse point and sucked at it harshly. There was sure to be a mark within the hour. I could feel him pulling at the waistband of my pyjama pants. “Yes.” I whispered in his ear. Monty pulled my bottoms down and off quickly. My underwear was still on and he snapped the waistband cheekily. “Bastard.” I said against his neck.

“You love it.” He moaned loudly when I bit his neck in response. I had to cover his mouth.

“Shhh. People could hear.”

“Screw people.”

With that, he flipped us over, so he was on top now. My hands went for his belt and I deftly undid it. My muscles still remembered the movements. The sound of the clinking metal as the hook hit the buckle. The way I had to tug a little harder to get it to come out of the loops because it stuck on the back one. Soon enough, his belt and jeans were strewn across the room along with the rest of our clothes. It was his turn to kiss me. He dragged his teeth against my bottom lip, pulling it slightly. I moaned lowly. His kisses traveled down my neck quickly. He always did prefer to leave marks on my collarbones and breasts. My neck was still fair game to him and he often left at least one mark on it at any given time. Just like he had so many times before so long ago, he left a clear bite mark on my décolleté. His attention was turned to my breasts then. He deftly unhooked my bra and pulled it off. It joined the ever-growing pile of clothes flung across the room.

The marks he left on my breasts were small in comparison to the one I had left on his neck. He is probably trying to hide them. I too, moaned loudly when he nipped my skin. He covered my mouth like I had done to him only moments before. The difference was that I grabbed his wrist in my hands like I was trying to hold onto him for dear life. I heard him chuckle and felt the stupid smirk against my chest. “Shhh. People could hear.” He mocked.

“Screw people.” He uncovered my mouth and pulled away for a moment. I gazed at him wantonly. I realized what he wanted a second later when he tried to both push and pull me further up the bed. Taking the hint, I shimmied my way up, so we had more room. Falling off the bed would certainly raise suspicion about what was happening in here.

Montgomery continued his journey down my body to my underwear. He stopped to place a gentle kiss to each of my hips. “Think you can keep quiet Kitten?” I melted at the nickname. I hadn’t heard it in so long.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” He pulled at the waistband of my underwear and they landed on the floor beside the bed. I sighed as he placed kisses to my pubic mound and my upper and inner thighs. Reaching down, I placed my hand on his hair. It felt so soft. Suddenly, he placed a kiss to my clit and my hips bucked. My fingers curled in his hair slightly. I moaned again, quietly this time, when he began to lap at my folds. My fingers curled in his hair more still. I couldn’t stop myself from tugging slightly. When he focused on sucking my clit I pulled on his hair. He moaned against my core and my body shook. When he added a finger or two to the mix, I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming. I had been secretly imagining this moment for the better part of a year. This felt so much better than I could have ever imagined. My orgasm began to build quickly. My walls started to flutter. Monty chuckled. He was well versed in my body’s reactions to stimuli. We both knew what was coming. His fingers thrust faster, and he stopped sucking my clit. Instead, he rubbed my clit harshly. I had to cover my mouth to keep from moaning too loudly. And then everything was bright and light for a second. I felt a, thankfully given our location, small trickle of liquid spill its way out of me. Monty gently slowed, and then stopped his thrusting and rubbing. I was panting and trying to catch my breath.

“Just give me a second.”

“Of course. Take your time.”

I looked down at him as he climbed up the bed. He settled beside me and reached down to palm at his hard dick. Once I had caught my breath, I shoved his hands out of the way and took over the palming. “You are so evil.” He grumbled.

“You love it.” I slipped my hand under the band of his boxer briefs. I hadn’t even touched his dick and he was bucking his hips already. He gasped when I brushed his dick with my fingertips lightly. I grasped it in my hand and stoked it. My movements were stilted by his underwear. After I took them off and dropped them next to my own underwear, there was much more real estate to work with. My hand was back to stroking right away. I was mostly just trying to bide time getting my energy back.

A little longer and my energy was back up to useful levels. So, I straddled his waist again and leaned in to kiss him. I wasn’t as conscious of my nakedness as I normally was. Our kiss was heated but I managed to pull away somehow. The trailing kisses down his chest made his breathing heavy. When I reached his cock, I licked a stripe from base to tip. I felt him tug at my ponytail holder. “I will never understand how this works.” I chuckled and reached up to pull my hair down. It fell in a cascade around my face. I tucked some behind my ear and repeated the same lick. The groan and hand that was winding its way in my hair told me all I needed to know. I smiled to myself before taking his cock in my mouth. I sucked slowly at first. I needed to take a few minutes to get used to the feeling. He removed his hand from my hair then, letting me do my thing. He put it back when I started to take more and more into my mouth and throat. I sighed softly when I managed to take it all. That last half inch was always iffy. His hand was wrapped up in my hair and holding it away from my face. I was surprised that he remembered not to tug when I started bobbing my head. Or maybe that wouldn’t be something a guy would forget. His hand traveled down to the base of my hair and rested against my skull. He started to buck his hips and I gagged slightly. Focusing on breathing through my nose, I kept my pace up. I knew he was holding back. I moaned around his cock and he cursed under his breath. I didn’t quite catch it. I stopped sucking to take a big breath of air.

Before I could resume my actions, Monty tugged on my hair. I looked up at him. There’s the hunger. He tugged on my hair again. He was trying to pull me up towards him without hurting me or being too demanding about it. I crawled forward towards the headboard. Kissing him again was the easiest choice I made this trip. I got lost in the feeling of his lips on mine and his tongue fighting mine for dominance. He took advantage of my distraction and rolled us over again. He always did like to be on top. “Do you have a condom anywhere?” he asked between kisses.

“I slipped one in the nightstand beside the Bible.” I breathed.

“You would put it beside the Bible.” He sat up and reached into the drawer, pulling out the blue foil packet. Once the condom was in place and the foil was discarded, he kissed me again. He was still kissing me when he adjusted our positions so he could enter me. My neck had always been a favourite spot to kiss. I gasped when I felt his cock enter me. It felt amazing. My body knew what to do instinctively as soon as he began thrusting. My hips were quickly able to match his pace. I gripped his biceps tightly, trying to convince myself that I wasn’t dreaming.

As his pace quickened, mine stilled. I was watching him. His brow was furrowed, focusing on this moment. I was pretty sure both of us weren’t sure if it would ever happen again. I reached up and brushed some hair that had fallen into his face away. Montgomery hit a particularly sensitive spot and my hand fell to his shoulder, squeezing and digging my nails into the skin. I moaned loudly and he kissed me to muffle it. “Shhh.” He cooed against my mouth. I whimpered. I felt my orgasm building again. It was coming on fast. My hips started to move on their own accord again. His thrusts started to falter, and I mewled. We were both on a rollercoaster that was speeding up to a stomach dropping fall. I covered my mouth so no one could hear the scream trying to jump from my throat. My eyes screwed shut tightly and my eyes rolled back in my head. The white light was so bright. As soon as my orgasm began to hit, so did Monty’s.

He pulled out of me quickly and discarded the used condom. All but falling over me, he rolled onto his back. We were both breathless. I was gasping for air. He was panting heavily. I rolled over onto my side, for some reason shy to cuddle up against him. It seemed silly to be concerned about that after what we had just done. But it felt like crossing a line. “Come here.” Monty pulled me closer to him.

“Are you sure we should be doing this? It doesn’t cross a line?”

“Reagan. We just had arguably the best sex of our lives and I told you I love you. I think we are way past being concerned about crossing lines.” I sighed, realizing he was probably right. Might as well get comfortable. “You need to go pee first.” I sighed again and excused myself. Back in bed, I curled up beside him again.

“We had to go and make everything complicated.”

“When has anything about us not been complicated?”

“I guess you’re right. Will you stay?” He checked his watch and thought for a minute.

“I can stay for a while if you want me to.”

“Yes please.”

I woke up the next morning alone with the blankets tucked around me tightly. There was a note on the pillow next to me written in Montgomery’s messy scrawl. I’ll be waiting. Remember that. I love you. I set the note in my lap and rubbed my face. I should check my phone. See if I missed anything important. Zach had texted me to say good night the night before, while I was… otherwise engaged. There was a text from Justin asking if I needed to talk. And Scott. He wanted to know if I knew where Monty was last night. Oh god. I forgot they were sharing a room. Oh shit. I need to face Zach now. Deciding it would be best to get it over with as soon as possible, I dragged my butt out of bed. I tucked Monty’s note in my suitcase while I got dressed.

When I looked in the mirror and saw the marks on my chest and neck, I rolled my eyes. I packed a heavy-duty concealer for my under eyes. I wasn’t planning on using it to cover hickeys that my ex-boyfriend left on me. Blending and layering took longer than expected but it was early enough that I was still done at a reasonable time. I had to leave my hair down though. Throwing on a pair of sneakers, I made my way to Zach and Justin’s room. I paused for a second when I passed Montgomery’s room. I shook my head. You can’t. Not while Zach is still a factor in the equation. I knocked on Zach’s door and he opened it shirtless. My eyes trailed down his body. I couldn’t stop the memories of last night from flooding back. “Good morning beautiful.”

“Morning Zachy. Can I come in?”

“Yeah. I’m just about ready.” I nodded and went to sit on his bed. Thankfully I wasn’t walking funny. When he was ready, we went downstairs hand in hand.

Monty was talking to Scott in the hotel lobby. I was shocked to see him awake and dressed at this time. The man likes his sleep. And we didn’t exactly get much last night. “Morning Scott. Monty.” Zach stopped to talk as we passed. I couldn’t look Monty in the eye.

“Morning lovebirds.” Scott replied.

“Zach. Reagan.”

“Morning.”

“No tea yet?”

“No.”

“I see. Long night?” I could hear the smirk in Monty’s voice. I hate you.

“I stayed up watching tv.” Zach began making small talk with the boys but I didn’t contribute anymore. I just wanted to get out of there and be alone with my boyfriend. Part of me hoped I could forget that last night ever happened. That didn’t stop me from thinking about it though. The longer they talked, the more I thought about it.

“Babe let’s go. Brunch is waiting.” I urged him to stop talking to Monty and Scott. Please don’t invite them.

“It’s not even eleven Rea. I don’t think it counts as brunch yet.” Scott laughed.

“Okay, then breakfast is waiting. Either way, I’m hungry and food that is far too calories dense to be considered a proper morning meal is waiting.”

“Did you guys want to come with?” My eyes widened. Did he just…? He did not just invite them with us.

“Uh.” Monty cleared his throat. “Are you sure you want to invite me?”

“Yeah. I mean, you and Reagan are friends. I’m going to have to get used to it somehow.”

“Why don’t we ask Reagan?” Monty turned and looked at me, raising an inquisitive brow.

“Um. I- uh.” I looked down, blushing. “I was kind of hoping we could go… just the two of us?” I asked Zach, raising my voice a couple of octaves.

“Oh. Oh, I’m sorry. I just thought…,” he paused and took my hand again, “of course we can go just us. I was just trying to be nice and make an effort.” He was looking at me so kindly that I had to look away. “Sorry guys.”

“Nah, no worries. Gotta get time with your girl.” Scott waved it off. He shot Monty a look that I didn’t like. It made me feel uneasy. Does he know? Before I could think too much into it, Zach was leading me outside.

Brunch was delicious. Zach was his usual slightly oblivious but in a cute way self. If he had any idea something was wrong, he didn’t let on. On our way back, we stopped to sit and look at the White House from a distance. “Why did you invite Monty and Scott to have brunch with us?”

“Well, I didn’t realize you wanted to go just the two of us.”

“That’s not what I meant. You don’t like Monty. So why invite him to hang out?”

“He’s your friend. As much as I don’t like it and I don’t like how he talks to you, he’s important to you. So, I’m willing to try to be nice to him.” Oh. Well now I feel like even more of an asshole.

“That… That’s really nice of you Zachy. Thank you.”

“No problem. What do you say we head back and watch a movie in your room?” He kissed my temple and stood, holding his hand out to me.

“My room? Could we maybe go back to yours? Mine is kind of messy. I had some trouble finding something to wear this morning.”

“Okay. I don’t think Justin is holing himself up in there today.”

Scott caught us when we got back to the hotel. “Hey! Can I steal Reagan for a few minutes? I need to ask her something about an assignment in Spanish.”

“Sure. We were just going to watch a movie.”

“O-okay.” I waved to Zach and trailed behind Scott to his and Monty’s shared room. “I’m hopeless at Spanish and you know it. What is this about?” Please tell me he doesn’t know.

“Are you going to tell Zach about last night?” Fuck.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“That’s crap. Are you going to tell him, or not? Because he deserves to know.”

“How do you know about it?”

“Monty didn’t come in until like two or three this morning. I hadn’t seen him for hours before that. When I saw him this morning, and the calling card you left on his neck, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together. The concealer on your neck just confirmed my suspicions. Just be thankful Zach is too oblivious to notice it.” I sighed, knowing he was right.

“I will. Just… not while we are still here. I don’t want to ruin anything. More than it already is anyway. Plus no one wants to deal with anyone getting arrested on a school trip.”

“Okay.”

“Is that all?” I turned to leave.

“Yeah. Actually, one more thing?” I stopped just short of the door. “Monty really does love you. And anyone with half a brain cell can see that you still love him. So, you deserve to be happy.”

“Thanks Scott.”

I spent the rest of the trip trying to avoid Montgomery and hold my tongue around Zach. I slept almost the whole flight back to California. School the next day dragged on. It continued to drag on for the next two weeks. Senioritis had set in hard now that we were done the D.C. trip. No one wanted to be there. We were graduating in a month. Most of us were going off to college. The last few weeks of school were basically pointless anyways. Even our teachers didn’t care as much. It was hard, but I managed to stay pretty cordial with Monty. I kept up appearances that everything was fine for most of the two weeks following the trip with Zach. On Friday I woke up and decided that it was time. I had to end things. I had to be fair to him. I had to take a chance and see if Monty and I could make things work this time. I texted Zach on my way to school. Meet me at the docks after school? The water is beautiful this time of year.

Sure.

I sat in my car for ten minutes after I arrived, trying to talk myself out of talking myself out of doing this. Zach wasn’t here yet so I got out of the car and walked around, trying to find a secluded bench where we could talk in private. I found the perfect one under a tree in the shade. It had an amazing view of the water. I snapped a selfie and sent it to him. Come and find me.

Zach snuck up and slid into the spot next to me. I jumped slightly. “Hey beautiful.”

“Hey.”

“I missed you today.”

“Yeah, I had some stuff to do. You know, last minute projects and final touches on assignments.”

“I know.” We sat quietly for a bit, just admiring the view. “You’re right. The water is beautiful this time of year.”

“Yeah.” I picked at my nails nervously. Just do it. “Listen, Zach….” I started.

“Yes?” He took my hand in his. I stared down at it.

“I- I think that…,” I paused. “I think that we need to break up.”

“What? Why?”

“I think it would be the best thing for us Zach.”

“Do you not love me anymore?”

“What? No, of course I do. It’s just… things are changing so fast.”

“Then why?”

“We are both going away to school next year and it will be too hard. I don’t want you to be tied down to someone on the other side or halfway across the country.”

“How do you know it will be too hard, Reagan?”

“Because. I’ve seen people try to make it work. We are eighteen Zach. We have our whole lives ahead of us. College is supposed to be the time where we experiment and make mistakes. To drink too many mixed drinks and wake up in someone else’s bed. I want you to experience that. And you can’t do that if you aren’t single.”

“We don’t leave for school for another two months at least though.”

“I don’t want us to wait until a week before we leave to decide that going into college single is the best choice.” Zach was silent for a while. I felt so bad. It needed to be done though.

“I guess you’re right.”  I smiled sadly at him. “You’ll always be special to me, you know that?”

“I know. You’ll always be special to me too.” I squeezed his hand and he kissed me softly for the last time. Knowing he would need time to sit and process, I was the one who stood and left him on the bench.

In my car before driving away from the docks and Zach, I sent a text message. Four words. Eleven letters. I hoped he would know what it meant. I love you too. The weight of hitting send was unimaginable. I had spent so long denying it, that I didn’t know how to feel about it. I guess I would just have to wait and see what the future held.

[fighterkimburgess]

Cover Up

Summary: 9x01 Spec Fic. While Kim's still unconscious in hospital, Hank reveals everything to an unlikely ally who helps him make sure he and Hailey won't face consequences.

Words: 1.8k

Warnings: if it happened in 8x16 consider it warned? Hospitals, gunshot wounds, murder, murder coverups, police brutality coverups.

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--

Hank sat in his office chair, staring out at the empty bullpen. Kim was going to make it, and it was the best news he’d heard all week. Ever since he got his signals crossed with Sam, since he’d met Darrell and it led them to track down this ring. Teenagers getting trafficked across his city and they’d just stumbled into it. It made him sick. Maybe it was time for him to give up being a cop.

He had few regrets about what he’d done that day. He had no regrets that Walton was dead, that he’d never hurt anyone else. That Kim and Makayla were safe. The only thing he felt bad about was Upton. That she didn’t leave, that she picked that moment to stay in the lines. He knew she wouldn’t be able for what he’d done, but he’d listened to her insistence. But then when she discovered just what he was capable of, had it in front of her, she tried to do the right thing.

Hank admired that. Admired the guts it took to do it. That it’s hard to go against your Sergeant, that she knew she was technically being insubordinate. But she did the right thing anyway. Halstead was rubbing off on her.

He’d give the unit the time together at the hospital before he appeared. Let them be together and let Hailey relax before he turned up. Her face after he made her shoot Walton would be burned into his brain. That was his one regret.

They’d never know she was there. Ever. He’d learned his lesson from Al, learned the ways to get rid of DNA. If he’d done that before Al would have still been there, been with him with Walton. Considering his best friend’s feelings about Burgess he would have pulled the trigger the second they found out she was alive. Hank poured a measure into his mug, raising it up to the hat still hanging on the wall.

“Thanks for looking out for Kim and keeping her here,” he murmured, taking a long, slow sip.

As he sat there he heard the familiar buzzer going, Sam appearing up the stairs.

“Pour me one?” She asked, Hank obliging.

“I thought you’d be out for a few weeks.”

“I needed to see how Burgess is. She seems like good police. Why wasn’t Ruzek at the hospital?”

“Burgess adopted that little girl from the case a few months back, Makayla Ward?” Sam nodded in memory. “Because she’s not married she had to put a custodian down, she picked Ruzek. He’s home with her daughter now, pretending everything’s fine.”

“There’s a story there.” Sam drank deeply, finishing her mug in one gulp.

“It’s not mine to tell. I just hope they realise this time.”

They sat in a companionable silence until Sam broke it. “How do you do it? How do I get past this guilt?” Her face was twisted in grief, memories of losing Justin coming to the forefront of Hank’s mind.

“I’ve buried two children, and I nearly lost a third today.” Sam raised an eyebrow at that. “Burgess may not be mine by blood, but I’ve watched her be shot, beaten, end an engagement and turn down her original offer to come up here. I watched her be delighted she was pregnant and then lose her baby. This entire unit feels like they’re my kids, but her and Ruzek especially. You take it one day at a time. You remember the good times you had. I lost my daughter when she was born, Justin when he was 23. You remember the good things they did.”

“But it’s my fault he’s dead. If I’d let you do it, go without the warrants—“

“There’s a good chance he’d have been dead anyway, Sam. Once he was taken we were going to struggle. But we did it anyway, and we’d do it again because he’s one of ours. Now we have to track down Walton.”

“Robbery Homicide are taking it over. You’re all too close, I’m too close. They’ve tracked his LKA to a garage, they’re moving in soon.” Hank sat with her words, a cold tendril of fear moving in his gut. He couldn’t let anything happen to the rest of his team. Ruzek had taken the fall once already, he wouldn’t let any of them do it.

“Let me know if we can help with any of it.”

“I will. Get to the hospital, Hank. They’ll want to see you there, and when she wakes up Burgess will want to see you.” Sam left, Hank following shortly after.

The visit to the hospital was as expected. Upton was silent, curled into Halstead. Atwater was on the phone the entire time, talking to Ruzek and giving him quiet updates. He’d heard the fight between the two of them earlier in the day, didn’t know how they’d come back. They would eventually, but he just sat and watched. They were sent home, Kevin insisting he’d stay until Ruzek dropped Makayla to school and got in. None of them wanted to let Kim be alone when she woke up.

When Hank made it home, Sam was standing on his porch waiting for him.

“What happened with Walton?” Her voice was low, but Hank looked around to make sure there was nobody else in earshot.

“Inside.”

He switched off the security system, turning on the lights and indicating the couch for Sam to sit on. She sat, staring up at him.

“What happened?”

“Nobody else will be hurt, and Kim and her daughter are safe. That’s the important part.” He sat into the armchair, feeling every year of his age. This was not how he’d wanted this morning to go. He wanted to relax, to sleep, to know everyone was alive and safe and recovering.

“Hank. We found a large pool of blood there. There’s no fingerprints apart from Walton’s, no anything else. But I need to know what happened so I can make sure everyone is safe.”

“You can’t know, Sam. Because if you know, then a good cop is going to jail. I can take whatever comes my way, she doesn’t deserve it.”

“Upton?” He could have cursed himself. He’d damned Hailey. “Hank…he killed my son. He murdered my baby in cold blood. He killed teenage girls, and he nearly killed Burgess. I’ve always believed in the rule of law, that the rules are there for a reason. But now? After this? I need to know so I can protect you. Protect your unit. Trust me, please?”

He took a deep breath, knowing he was probably damning himself but saving Hailey.

“I tracked down Walton’s location. He’d been involved in a fight, and he told me he wouldn’t do anything to help me, to find Burgess. He threatened Makayla. Upton came, said we should bring him in. I agreed with her, I went to pick him up and uncut him from where I’d secured him and he took my weapon. Upton told him to drop it, he didn’t, she fired. He was dead, I got her out of there and I disposed of the body.”

It was silent in the living room for a moment before she spoke. “Will anyone find him?”

“No. There’s no way.”

“Good.”

They sat in the quiet, the sun beginning to rise outside. Hank leaned back, resting against the back of the armchair.

“I shot him, not Upton. It was all me. I know you have to take me in, but we keep her out of it. Can I at least shower before you bring me in?”

“I’m not doing that, Hank. I shouldn’t be so glad he’s dead, but I’m not damning you for it. Walton doesn’t have any family, doesn’t have a next of kin. There’s got to be a John Doe in the morgue who fits his rough height and weight. We can pull someone for it, say it’s him. You and Upton are safe, and my contract is up next month. I’ll refuse to renew it, say that after Darrell I need out of Chicago. You made sure my son didn’t die for nothing, let me do this. I need Upton in your office at three tomorrow. I’ll have it organised by then.” They stood and he watched her leave his driveway, her car disappearing into the dawn.

At noon he called Upton, his detective nervous answering the phone.

“I need you upstairs for three. We’ve got a meeting with Miller, and you’re not in danger. There’s nothing wrong with what you did.” His words didn’t seem to placate her, but she agreed to be there.

When they arrived Halstead was with her, his face pinched and Hank knew immediately that he knew what had happened. But he was there and that was the important part. Sam came up in jeans, her hair pulled back off her face.

“Upton, Voight?” They went into the office, the door immediately closing. Hank could feel Halstead’s eyes through the glass at the three of them.

“A body has been discovered, believed to be Roy Waltons. Walton was badly beaten, we believe it was from a member of his gang. DNA has confirmed it, he died of blunt force trauma to the skull. This case has been closed, and there’ll be no further investigation into it. His body has been released, but as he has no family to claim his body it will be buried by Cook County. The burial is scheduled for next Monday. Do you understand?” The question was pointed to Hailey, who shook her head.

“But…I…that’s…”

“Do you understand, Detective? The case is closed, there’s nothing else to discuss.”

“Yes. I do.”

“Good. Because of the work your unit has put in you’re on a mandatory two week furlough, fully paid. Take the time, recover from the last few days. Has Burgess woken up yet?”

“This morning. Jay and I are going in to her now. Adam and Makayla are there.”

“Good. She’ll need her family around her, and I know how close you all are. I wanted to let you know that I won’t be continuing as Superintendent. With Darrell gone I need to get out of Chicago. I told the Chief earlier today.”

They let Upton walk out, a nod from Halstead at the two of them at the relief clear on Hailey’s face.

“It’s done?”

“Hank, they just wanted to close the case. Nobody wants to have to listen to the guy who almost killed a cop. It’s not good, but it’s done.”

“Thank you, Sam.”

“Just don’t make anyone have to do this again.”

“I have no intention of it.”

He walked her out of the precinct, waving goodbye before heading to the hospital to see Kim. They were all safe. Hailey would survive, wouldn’t have the worry flowing around her head of being caught. They wouldn’t need to look over their shoulders. Walton was gone, and they’d gotten away with it. This wouldn’t threaten his family again.

[nomtterwhere]

highly requested part two to this fic!!

a/n: this is...vey long, i literally just couldn’t stop writing. (it’s actually so long that i reached the limit of text blocks, so now there’s going to be a part 3 so stay tuned for that!) but i hope you guys liked it!! also, the way i wrote elle in this is nothing like how she is in the movie, she is nowhere near as mature as this lol.

summary: after your break up with marco, you head to the beach for the senior weekend, where you finally have to face him

word count: 5854

it had been two months since you broke up with marco and you still haven’t talked to him. he’s sent you text message after text message before you blocked him, not wanting to hear anything from him. at school, you avoided him in the halls, taking every possible out-of-the-way route. and when in classes you shared with him, you avoided the urge to even glance at him.

you could feel his gaze on you, though. it took everything in you not to take one look at the boy you once called your own, but you were determined to stay strong. and as soon as class was over, you made sure you were the first one out the door.

rachel acted as your guard during school, walking with you in the hall, helping you avoid both marco and elle. you stopped going to your locker. it’s not like you ever used it anyway, it had become more a spot for you and marco to talk between classes than anything else. now, it was just an ugly reminder of your ex.

outside of school, rachel kept inviting you out with her and lee but you declined everytime.

“rach, it’s okay. really.” you said to her one night after she invited you to a movie night with her and lee. “you don’t have to include me in everything you guys do. you deserve time with your boyfriend.”

“...okay.” she responded uneasily. “but you know you’re always welcome to hang out with us.”

you would take her up on her offer every once in a while, but made sure to give them space when they needed. instead, you started spending more time with your friends (that weren’t dating anyone) and tried to enjoy the rest of your senior year.

marco had come over twice that first week, but each time your mom, bless her, would cover for you.

“i know she’s here, could i please just talk to her?” marco pleaded.

your mom slightly shook her head as you watched from the top of the stairs. “marco, i don’t know what happened between you two, but i do know she doesn’t want to see you right now.”

that was the night of the ddr competition and after that, your mom had come upstairs and held you while you cried into her shoulder. even now, you still hadn’t told her that he had kissed elle, just that you had broken up. you told yourself you didn’t know why you couldn’t just tell her the truth, despite you always telling her everything.

but subconsciously, there was a part of you that wanted to get back together with him. and you knew that if your mom knew that he had cheated on you, there would be no chance of that happening.

but it’s two months later and while you weren’t totally over it, you were much better. you weren’t your relationship, and it took you a while to realize the breakup didn’t mean the end of you.

and now you found yourself getting ready for a senior weekend on the beach, any remains of the heartbroken girl you once were left behind you. there was no doubt you would run into marco there, considering the entire senior class was going, but you refused to dwell on that.

as you finished getting ready, your phone buzzed with a text message from your friend liz.

slowpoke much? hurry up, i’m ready to go!!

you laughed as you quickly typed out a reply, letting her know you would pick her up soon. you then unplugged your phone charger before throwing it inside your bag, then grabbed it and headed downstairs.

at the bottom of the stairs was a medium sized cooler and when you opened it, it was filled with mike’s hard bottles and white claws. you grinned and turned to your mom who was sitting at the dining table on her ipad and wrapped your arms around her shoulders.

“thank you, thank you, thank you!” you said, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

she just let out a laugh. “now i bought it because i trust you. be safe, please.”

“i will, promise.” you gave her one last hug. “love you momma.”

“i love you too, baby. have fun!”

“see you sunday!” you called as you left the house.

you headed outside, giving a quick wave to your neighbor as you walked to your car.

she waved back and glanced at the cooler you dragged behind and the overnight bag over your shoulder. “senior weekend?”

you gave her a sheepish smile and nodded.

she winked, then glanced back at her house. she looked at you again and mimicked locking her lips and throwing away the key.

you laughed at the gesture, knowing her husband was a police officer.

you winked back at her. “thanks.”

after picking up liz, cora, and justine the four of you arrived at the beach, saying hi to your friends that had already arrived and checking into the motel room you had booked.

“okay, first things first.” you announced when your entered the room. “we are not letting anyone else in this room, okay? this is not going to be the room that gets trashed.” you stated and they nodded in agreement.

cora nodded to the cooler. “except that’s going to be the reason people will want to be in here.”

you gave her a grin. “and that’s exactly why it’s going in taylor’s room.”

“genius!” cora said, falling back onto her bed.

you laughed, taking out a few drinks and placing them in the minifridge for just the four of you. as soon as you stood up, justine made her way over it, pulling out a white claw.

“justine, it’s two pm.” cora said with a look.

justine cracked open the can and took a long drink. “and what about it?”

you laughed, heading out the door with the cooler. “i’ll be right back.”

you checked the text message taylor had sent you with his room number, realizing that you would have to go upstairs. you groaned, lifting the cooler with both hands, knowing you weren’t going to be able to roll it up the stairs.

you reached his door, knocking on it with your foot. putting down the cooler at this point seemed futile, considering you knew he would make you carry it inside.

except it wasn’t taylor that opened the door. instead, you were met with marco.

just your luck that they’re roommates.

he had been laughing at whoever was talking to him before he opened the door and the sound seemed to completely erase the past two months of healing you had been doing because suddenly all you wanted was to fall into his arms and let him hold you and laugh together and—

“y/n.” god, you forgot how great your name sounded coming from his mouth.

he smiled at you, then seemed to remember that you had spent the last eight weeks avoiding the hell out of him and cleared his throat.

“i, um,” you adjusted the cooler in your hands, raising it a little. “taylor said i could leave these here.”

“oh yeah, of course. here, let me get that.” he reached for the cooler, taking the handles from you and relieving you of the heavy weight.

“thanks.” you placed your hands in the pockets of your shorts, unsure of what else to do with them.

he stood there, still holding the cooler, but with none of the struggle you seemed to have.

of course, you thought as you tried to restrain yourself from glancing at his bare arms.

“look, y/n—” luckily for you, he was interrupted before he could finish his statement.

“y/n!” taylor said, entering the doorway. he looked down at the cooler marco was holding and his eyes widened at you. “did you bring this? you’re the best.”

you couldn’t help but laugh. “yes, i told you i was going to. have you been drinking already?”

“maybe like, a little bit.”

marco sighed, turning to you. “the answer is yes. since noon.”

“only like this much!” he holds his thumb and pointer finger out, only an inch of space between them. “okay, maybe a little bit more than that but jeez man, why you gotta be such a buzzkill!”

he turned his attention to you. “god, your ex is a real piece of work you know. i can see why you broke up with him.”

you laughed awkwardly. “yeah, okay taylor. um, i’m gonna go. you have fun, boys.”

you turned and walked away, ignoring marco calling out your name behind you. you entered your own room, immediately being hit in the face with a towel. after the initial shock factor wore off, you removed it from your face and saw your friends in their swimsuits, rubbing on sunscreen and grabbing things to bring to the beach.

“get in your swimsuit girl, we’re heading to the beach!” liz said, putting on sunglasses. “a bunch of people are down there already and i refuse to miss out on any moment.”

you laughed, throwing the towel back at them. “okay, okay!”

you removed your top and shorts, having worn your swimsuit underneath your clothes. you were putting them in your bag when you heard a whistle from the other side of the room.

justine lifted her own sunglasses to the top of her head. “damn, girl. where did you get that?”

your skin got warm at her comment. the swimsuit in question was normally out of your comfort zone, but for some reason when you had tried it on for the first time, you felt a surge of confidence.

it was a black one piece, but it was cut deep down the middle of your chest, cut out on the sides and the back, allowing for open space for your skin to show. and in front, there were two sections made of mesh. whoever said one pieces couldn’t be sexy clearly has never seen this one.

“holy shit, y/n. and i thought i looked hot.” liz added.

cora gave you a sly smile. “marco’s not going to know what hit him.”

you gave her a look. “please, this has nothing to do with marco.”

“oh, sure, of course not.” she says, walking towards you and leaning in and whispering, “but it never hurts to show them what they’re missing out on.”

you looked at her and pretended to think about it before giving your response. “okay, so maybe the swimsuit is a little bit about marco.”

the four of you burst into laughter before gathering the rest of your stuff and heading out the door. after making sure everyone had their key, you shut the door behind you and made the five minute walk to the beach.

for the most part it was just the seniors that had come for the weekend, but you saw a couple other groups of people spread out along the beach. the four of you found a clear spot a few feet from the lifeguard tower to put your towels down.

justine propped up the large umbrella she had dragged along with her from the motel along with her beach chair. she laid down in her chair underneath it, closing her eyes, and slipping her sunglasses onto her face.

“do you even plan on going in the water?” you asked her, spraying sunscreen onto your skin.

“nope. my plan today is to get his attention.” she nods to the lifeguard near us. “but i’ve gotta get my energy up first, so i’ll just be taking a nap if you need me.”

you just laughed, throwing your sunscreen bottle onto your towel and tucked your phone into your beach bag.

“i’m gonna stay and tan for a little so i can watch our stuff, don’t worry.” cora said as she watched you throw your sweatshirt over your bag.

you gave her a grateful smile before standing back up.

“looks like you’ve caught someone’s attention.” cora said, laying back on her towel, nodding her head behind her.

you looked up and saw marco, taylor, and and few more boys walking towards the beach, all of them talking excitedly to each other. except marco’s gaze was focused on one thing.

you.

you watched as his eyes scanned your body from top to bottom, his eyes stopping on the cut out parts of your swimsuit. you felt a small shiver course through your body at his actions. you knew you looked goof, but when marco looked at you like that... 

you couldn’t help but let your eyes drift as well. he was only in swim trunks, putting his upper body on display for all to see. as he got closer, his muscles only became more defined, his skin practically glowing underneath the sun.

“um, chile...anyways, so.” cora said, snapping you out of your reverie until you looked at her. “y’all are practically eye fucking each other, you know.”

you laughed at her, sparing one last glance at marco, only to see that his eyes were still on you. you looked away quickly before he could notice and turned back to cora.

“mission accomplished.”

she gave you a high five before you linked arms with liz and made your way to the shore, knowing you were giving marco a nice view of your backside as well.

as if liz could read your mind, she laughed and leaned in to whisper. “oh, you are bad.”

you moved in front of her, walking backwards towards the water. “who, me?” you feigned innocence.

she shook her head smiling, and then reached forward, pushing you backwards.

you hadn’t even realized you had reached the shore and when you fell back, you fell right into the ocean. you stood up laughing, pushing your hair out of your face.

“oh, you’re dead.” you say and liz squeals, jumping into the water herself.

the two of you join a group of your other friends, hanging out for a while before you head back.

when you get back to your station, cora is sitting up on her towel and the beach chair next to her is empty.

“where’s—?” cora cuts you off, pointing in one direction.

you follow where her finger is pointing and see justine talking to the lifeguard that was stationed a few feet away from us. good for her.

“well alright then.” you said with raised eyebrows and a proud smile before looking back at cora. “if you wanna head down, i can watch our stuff for a while. i’m pretty tired of being in the water, anyway.”

she smiled at you. “thanks!” she started towards the water before turning and taking off her sunglasses.

you held open your hands and she tossed them to you. you set her sunglasses down next to you and decided to take justine’s chair to sit in. it’s not like she was using it. you settled yourself in the chair, grateful for the shade the umbrella provided and pulled out your phone, put your earbuds in, and started scrolling through tik tok.

maybe an hour had passed when you felt a hand tapping on your shoulder. you quickly took out your earbuds, turning to whoever tapped you.

“oh, i’m so sorry, i didn’t...” your voice trailed off as you realized who it was that had tapped you.

elle evans.

“can we talk?” she asked.

she looked nervous. good. she should be! what kind of nerve does she have coming up to you after kissing you boyfriend on stage in front of thousands of people?

but before you could say any of this to her, she spoke again.

“i know you have no reason to speak to me and i understand that you probably hate me. i just, really want to explain.” she said.

you wanted to say no. you wanted to say no so badly and just stay mad at her. but even you couldn’t admit that your curiosity was getting the best of you.

so you just nodded, motioning for her to sit down on one of the towels.

she looked grateful, giving you a smile before taking a seat.

“look, i’m just going to get right to it. i know it was wrong, what i did. but i was hurt. i was angry. and marco had been so nice to me for so long and i thought noah was cheating on me so...” she trailed off so you finished her sentence.

“you cheated on him instead?”

elle looked at you, remorse in her eyes. “yeah.” she sighed. “i know, it’s all so stupid and i’m not proud of it, i want you to know that. but i was lucky enough that noah forgave me for that. and i know you haven’t forgiven marco.”

you swallowed, looking down.

“i wasn’t even thinking of you when i kissed marco and that’s on me. i am so, so sorry y/n. and i wish there was some way i could make it up to you.”

you sighed, looking her in the eye. “look, elle. thank you for apologizing to me. that’s great that noah forgave you, but that’s not something i can just overlook...it’s not just on you, it’s on him too.”

she let a moment of silence pass between you.

“you know he would always talk about you during our practices?”

your gaze had drifted back to the ocean but went back to her when she spoke again. “what?”

“he felt so guilty every time he had to cancel on you. and maybe i should’ve taken that as a sign as to what i was doing, but i didn’t. and for that i apologize too. but with the way he talked about you, i really didn’t think anything i could do would ruin what you had.

“i guess that was pretty ignorant of me.” she laughed a little. “y/n, he loves you. he really does. and i get it, the kiss was completely out of line and you don’t owe him or me anything. but if you think for a second that marco would ever choose me over you, you’re wrong.”

you didn’t say anything in response to that. what exactly were you supposed to say?

and when elle realized you weren’t going to respond, she sighed. “of course, i can’t change your mind and i don’t know how you feel. all i ask if that you talk to him. he misses you.” and with that, she got up and left without another word.

you laid back in your chair, putting your earbuds back in and turning on some music. you thought about what elle said, and you appreciated her coming to talk to you, but it still didn’t erase what marco had done.

but at the same time...

had he really been talking about you to her? did he really feel sorry about the canceled dates? because to you, it always felt like he was choosing her over you.

maybe elle was right, maybe you should just talk to him.

you groaned, closing your eyes. i thought this weekend was supposed to be fun and stress free, you thought.

you reopened your eyes and saw liz and justine standing over you.

“what was elle doing over here?” liz immediately said.

you loved how protective your friends were and smiled at them, making sure they knew it was nothing they had to worry about.

“it’s okay guys, she just wanted to talk.”

“about what?” justine was giving a nasty look in elle’s general direction.

“actually, she apologized.” you said and both of their head snapped to you.

“apologizes, huh?” justine said.

“yeah. but i don’t wanna talk about that right now, let’s just relax, yeah?” you said, trying to distract them.

they obviously wanted to talk about it but your distaste for the subject must have been clear on your face because they backed off.

“if you insist. but you have to get out of my chair first.” justine said with a smile.

you laughed, grabbed your phone and got up from the chair to sit on your towel. “how did it go with the lifeguard?”

“well, i got his snap and a date with him tonight, so you tell me.” justine said, laying back on her chair.

“you have to teach me how to do that.” liz said, sitting down on the towel beside her.

later that night, justine was off on her date with the lifeguard but the rest of the seniors were out on the beach, having a bonfire.

you, cora, and liz were in your room, getting ready to head out onto the beach when you heard something topple over.

you jumped, looking over your shoulder at the hair straightener that liz had dropped.

“oops.” she giggled.

“shit, liz.” cora said, picking it up and decided to finish liz’s hair for her. “are you drunk already?”

“honestly, i haven’t been sober since four pm today.” she admitted.

you shook your head, strapping on your sandals before standing. “why am i not surprised.”

cora looked up from liz’s hair and grinned. “i love the outfit. very cute.”

you looked at yourself in the mirror. you were wearing a spaghetti strap lavender crop top with black cotton shorts and gold sandals. you smiled at yourself.

“yeah, i think so.” you turned to cora. “thank you.”

“i think you look hot.” liz said with a funny smile.

“of course you do.” you said, slipping your phone into your pocket.

you stayed in the room until cora finished straightening liz’s hair and then you all went down to the bonfire together.

you headed straight for the cooler that stood on the outskirts of the large group, grabbing a white claw. there was music playing, and everyone was either dancing with one another or just hanging out by the fire.

you took a seat on one of the logs surrounding the fire, not in too much a partying mood for tonight.

“mind if i sit here?”

you didn’t need to look up to know it was marco who had asked but you did anyway, and made eye contact with the boy in question.

you shrugged, but didn’t say anything.

that seemed good enough for him because he took a seat next to you, leaving space between you. not enough apparently because you could still smell his cologne, the scent making its way into your senses.

marco fiddled with the drink in his hand, obviously thinking. you recognized the habit as one he did whenever he needed to get something off his chest.

“whatever it is, you can just say it.” you say.

he looked over at you and then looked back at his drink. “elle told me she talked to you.”

“yeah. she did.” you looked at him, but he was still looking at his drink.

“and from what she’s told me, sounds like i was living rent free in your mind.” you joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“you were. you are.” he said back, except he was 100% serious.

he finally looked up and met your eyes. “you’re all i think about.”

at that moment, you heard a scream and looked over to see one of the boys had tossed cora over his shoulder, carrying her to the water as our classmates cheered him on.

“can we...go on a walk or something? just find somewhere quiet to talk?” marco asked you over the commotion.

you knew you wouldn’t be able to avoid talking to him any longer, and quite frankly, you didn’t want to. so you nodded, standing up alongside him, finishing off the last of your drink before tossing the can in a garbage bag by one of the logs.

marco did the same and the two of you started walking away from the bonfire.

“you might wanna take your sandals off, it might make walking a little easier.” he said to you and you shot him a look.

“i think i’ll be fine, thank you very much.”

you regretted your decision as soon as you took that first step but you were determined not to say anything. but with every step you took, you could feel sand getting into your sandals and finally you groaned in defeat.

“hang on.” you said and bent down, unbuckling them and then slipping them off your feet.

you gathered your sandals in your hand and continued walking, feeling the sand moving beneath your feet.

“that’s better.” you said.

you looked over at marco when you realized he was laughing.

“and what exactly is so funny? don’t forget you’re already in hot water with me.” you raised an eyebrow.

“just reminds me of when we went to the beach earlier this year and i told you to bring a blanket, a sweatshirt, anything really, because it was going to get cold.”

you rolled your eyes at the memory. “right, and i didn’t. but only because i really didn’t think anything of the weather.”

“nuh uh, i believe your exact words were, ‘i do what i want.’” he raised an eyebrow at you.

“and what is your point exactly?” you laughed.

“well considering you spent the rest of the day in my hoodie and huddled under my blanket, mi amor, my point is that you can be extremely stubborn.” he laughed, before he realized what he said.

your heart clenched at the nickname, missing it already. but it reminded you of why you were out here with him in the first place.

“why did you kiss her?” you asked, quietly.

he paused and you inhaled, holding your breath in fear of his response.

“i could stand here and say i don’t know, but that would be a lie. i think...i think it was because a part of me thought i was already losing you.”

you stopped. “wait, what?” you looked at him. “why?”

he shrugged. “we never really talked about college and what would happen after graduation. i kind of assumed you would want to break up. and when i had rehearsals with elle, it didn’t seem to bother you that much, even when i had to cancel dates. i mean, until you said something at the competition, i didn’t realize how you felt about the whole thing. i thought it was because you were, i don’t know, getting tired of me.”

he may have had a point. despite your initial feelings towards him spending all of his time with elle, you never really expressed that to him. he would tell you he had to miss a date and you always responded with, “that’s okay, maybe next time.”

“so, at the competition, when elle kissed me, it felt like i had nothing to lose. but i’m an idiot. i don’t even like her. and when i saw you,” he looked at you, his voice thick with emotion. “i realized how much i screwed up. i couldn’t believe that i had hurt you like that.”

“marco.” you were standing in front of him now. “i need you to realize that every canceled date resulted in me calling rachel to scream my head off about the lack of time we were spending together. but i wasn’t about to tell you to not help her, i wasn’t going to be that girlfriend.

“i do realize that i could have said something sooner, though . elle had mentioned how you were upset about the dates we missed as well.” you glared at him. “but that doesn’t excuse you kissing her on live television!”

he shook his head. “no i know, i know. and it’s not an excuse, it’s just how i felt. what i did, no matter the reason, was wrong. and i am so, so sorry y/n. i never should have kissed her, and i regret it more than anything. i regret losing you.”

you turned your back to him, afraid you were going to start crying and you didn’t want him to see.

you had been avoiding him for so long for this very reason. you didn’t want to hear an apology. you didn’t want to forgive him.

but hearing him apologize and regret what he did made you question why you didn’t want to hear it. while your heart wasn’t completely full once again, heating those words did something to you. it made you feel...heard.

both elle and marco took the initiative to come to you even after you making it clear that you refused to speak to either of them for the past two months. despite what they did, that says a lot about their character.

“y/n?” marco called from behind you.

you took a deep breath before turning to face him once again.

“i forgive you.”

marco looked shocked. “i—thank you.”

“and i’m sorry for ignoring you and refusing to even give you the chance to apologize. i just,” you shrugged. “wasn’t ready.”

he nodded, gazing at you intently. “i completely understand. what i did...” he swallowed. “you were hurt. you were angry. hell, i would be too.”

“yeah, well. that hurt and anger didn’t do anything for me. but you and elle talking to me did. so thank you.”

“i had to let you know how i was sorry. i couldn’t let you go thinking there was anyone in this world i would rather be with than you.” he said, and when you looked in his eyes, you could see he was sincere.

“marco.” you breathed, realizing how close the two of you were.

one of his arms slipped around your waist and you let him pull you even closer. your breaths mingled as your lips were only centimeters apart and you felt your eyelids start to flutter shut.

“tell me to stop and i will.” he whispered to you.

every pulse in your body was screaming at you to just let him kiss you, to fall into his arms and be his again. but in your brain, there that one rational part that was telling you to stop this now.

damn your rationale.

but you knew it was right. you were both running high on emotions, whatever you did now, you weren’t sure you wouldn’t regret it tomorrow. so you tilted your head down, grabbing onto his forearms.

“i can’t.” you managed to croak out.

he exhaled, his mouth by your ear now so you felt the rush of air against your skin.

“i want to, believe me. but right now i just, i can’t.”

he nodded. “you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

you wrapped your arms around his waists in a hug and rested your head against his chest. marco hesitates for a moment, making sure you weren’t going to pull away before hugging you back. his chin rested on the top of your head and the familiar embrace filled you with warmth.

“can we just talk?” you mumbled into his shirt.

he chuckled lightly. “of course. whatever you want.”

so you did. the two of you sat on the sand and talked. about elle, the ddr competition, what you forgiving him meant. but you also talked about the past two months. college acceptances, last minute applications, applying for scholarships, any accomplishments, everything. you talked and talked until you ended up falling asleep on the beach.

you slowly blinked your eyes open as you felt the sunlight hit them. you sat up and looked to your side where marco was still dozed off. you looked at him with a small smile, you had missed seeing him in such a peaceful state. you remembered the times he had woken up before you whenever he slept over at your house, opening your eyes to see his brown eyes gazing down at you lovingly. it was rare that you ever woke up before him, so this sight was a rare one.

his was lying on his back and you could see his chest gently rise and fall with every breath he took. at some point his shirt had come unbuttoned and the wind blew it back against the sand, exposing his chest. you rolled your eyes at yourself, compelling yourself not to even think about it. you traveled your gaze up to his face and saw the relaxed expression. the emotion from early last night was no longer there, he was just...marco.

in all honesty, you probably could have spent the rest of the morning waiting for him to wake up. but you weren’t 100% sure what your reaction would be to seeing him in the morning for the first time in a while. so, you brushed a few of the curls on his forehead back into place, then leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead before getting up and walking back to the motel.

you entered your room as quietly as you could. a quick look at your phone let you know it was nine am and you were unsure of whether or not your friends were hungover.

however, as soon as you entered the room, you were met with cora pouncing on you.

“she’s back!” she yelled as your other two roommates groaned in response.

“what?” liz mumbled from underneath a pillow.

“okay, spill. where were you all night?” cora demanded.

“oh, please. like we don’t all know the answer.” justine sat up on her bed and gave you a teasing smile. “with marcoooo!” she singsonged, making kissy faces at you.

you rolled your eyes. “okay, it wasn’t like that.”

“wait, so you were with marco?” cora gasped. “and on the beach? you dirty dog.”

“why is everyone yelling?” liz grumbled, pressing the pillow against her head tighter.

you couldn’t but laugh at what cora was implying. “yes, i was with marco, but we just talked! honestly. it was nice.”

“you just talked all night? huh. i’m not buyin’ it. you?” cora turned to justine.

she shook her head. “nope. liz?”

“absolutely not.” her muffled voice came.

you scoffed. “well, i don’t care what you think happened. because i’m telling you nothing happened.”

“okay, say we believed you. what did you talk about?” justine said.

you shrugged, taking a seat on your bed and tossing your sandals to the ground. “everything. i mean, we haven’t talked in two months, we had some stuff to unpack.”

“are you guys getting back together...?” liz asked, peeking her head out from beneath the pillow.

the other two watched you intently, waiting for your response and you laughed.

“right now? no. i don’t know. all i know is we talked, fell asleep on the beach, and it was nice. that’s all.” you said. “i missed talking to him.”

“so what happens now?” cora asked you.

“i’m not sure. but i feel a lot better about whatever does happen now.” you say confidently.

with that final statement, your friends drop the subject. you didn’t want to think to much about this anymore. last night was great but you were determined to make the most of the last two days of this beach trip.

the marco situation would have to wait.

taglist: @mayakblack @devilishdior @write-from-the-heart @shherlxck @minnyvees @lover1307 @sonnyalice @caro1115 @sandovalali12 @yongboxerrr

keep an eye out for part three (which will be the final part) and if you want to be added to the taglist, send me an ask! requests are always open!

[andrews-grizzy]

ooc músicas que você queria plot

ooc: vou colocar alguns que eu tenho nos meus bunnies pq são muitos...

foram só 23 ideias abaixo (Que ódio) isso pq eu me obriguei a parar de ir na minha tag

last night story by iu - muse x is the definition of charismatic, they manage to befriend everyone they meet - muse y on the other hand has always been known as an introvert. despite all their differences muse x and y have found themselves in the same group of friends without actually getting along - the two don’t necessarily hate each other, but they are nowhere near to being pals. every time the group is out together muse y ends up resenting muse x, envying them for their ability to let go which was something muse x had never caught up – that was until muse y ended up having a serious breakdown the day after a party and muse x was the only one to be there to witness it.

it’s you // Super Junior - MUSE A and MUSE B have been dating in secret for a while now. while MUSE B is happy keeping things a secret, MUSE A wants to tell the world, especially since people are starting to get suspicious. MUSE B does not want the same thing, and it makes MUSE A wonder if MUSE B is actually into them or not. the reason why MUSE B wants to keep their relationship a secret is something only known to them, but MUSE A is utterly, and hopelessly in love with MUSE B so when they say they want to keep it a secret, MUSE B gives in — despite wanting to tell the world.

one more chance // Super Junior - MUSE A and MUSE B used to be in a very serious relationship until they broke up in the past year. MUSE A still has very deep feelings for MUSE B, but they’re afraid they’re the only person who feels the same way. when MUSE A receives an invitation to the engagement of MUSE B, it hits them that they will never get back together with MUSE B. unable to live with this, MUSE A makes it their mission to win MUSE B back, to stop them from marrying the wrong person.

let’s not fall in love by big bang - muse x is new in town, having moved in order to get a fresh start - having been scared off after bad experience they try to keep to themselves, not looking for anything serious friendship or relationship wise. that’s when muse y comes into play, they form a playful kind of relationship where neither of them is looking for anything serious – they hook up, they have fun and everything is new and fresh. it doesn’t take long for either of them to develop feelings, which immediately goes south - muse x gets cold feet after muse y confesses to them and cuts off all contact, leaving muse y heartbroken and alone.

boys will be boys by dua lipa // muse a is a soft woman who has always been dating jerks, and somehow ended up thinking this was just the normal way to behave, as a man. until she meets muse b, a honest and kind man, and she learns how it feels to be treated right.

stuck with you by ariana grande and justin bieber - muse a and muse b get stuck in the elevator of their building, and since the help isn’t coming for another couple hours, one of them decide to play a truth or dare game to keep their mind busy.

i love you’s by hailee steinfeld - after a few horrible break-ups, muse a swear they’re done dating until they found themself first. that’s until they met muse b, and despite trying to stay away from them, they can’t deny the chemistry between them.

never really over by katy perry - muse a and muse b dated when they were teenager, until they broke up and went to college. they are older now, but when they randomly meet downtown, the sparks are still there.

I   K N O W   P L A C E - Taylor Swift;

the prologue– Halsey

“Cause they got the cages, they got the boxes, and guns

They are the hunters, we are the foxes, and we run…”

Muse A had never had a really good home life. His/her parents were too strict on them, and never even seemed to actually care about them. Life had never really seemed good until they met Muse B. Coming from the complete opposite, they showed Muse A care for what felt like the first time in his/her life. At first, A tries to hide B from their parents, but sooner or later tells them the news. Outraged, their parents forbid them from seeing Muse B ever again. That’s the last straw. They decided to run away. The first place the go is to Muse B’s home to convince him/her to run away with them to be clear of anyone trying to keep them apart.

100 letters– Halsey

i am a child of a

money hungry, prideful country

grass is green and it’s always sunny

hands so bloody, tastes like honey

i’m finding it hard to leave

eyes closed– Halsey

i’m not something to butter up

and taste when you get bored

‘cause i have spent too many nights on dirty bathroom floors

to find some peace and quiet right behind a wooden door

now if i keep my eyes closed he looks just like you

gods & monsters - Lana Del Rey: muse a doesn’t care about anything or anyone anymore which causes them to go out and do crazy things when they meet muse b who gives them something to care for again.

but he’ll never stay, they never do

mariners apartment complex - Lana Del Rey: muse a has a lot of trust issues due to going through a ton of hardships when it comes to friendships / relationships but muse b comes along and shows muse a that not everybody is the same. both muses grow a strong bond and become protective over one another but also help one another in tough situations.

GHOSTIN’ | by ariana grande → muse a is in a relationship with muse b, while still being in love with someone else, and muse b knows they can’t compete or compare to them.

DÓI SEM TANTO - AnaVitória : MUSE A achava que o relacionamento estava indo rápido demais e não estava tão prontx para uma relação tão séria. Elx e MUSE B estavam morando juntos a um tempo, e MUSE B já falava sobre casamento. Frente as suas dúvidas MUSE A achou melhor terminar, mas bastaram apenas alguns dias para sentir falta de seu amadx e pior ainda, percebera que cometeu um grande erro. Talvez ainda não quisesse casar, mas abia que x amava e que sua vida era bem melhor com elx.

“ E é tão mais fácil quando tem você pra dormir junto, tem pra acordar junto e viver junto. Tem você pra me contar dos seus dias seguros. ”

OUTRORIA - AnaVitória : MUSE A teve seu coração destruído a algum tempo atrás e desde então desistiu do amor e de relacionamentos sérios. Aproveitando sua vida de solteirx e seus casos de uma noite, conheceu MUSE B. Tudo começou como uma simples amizade com benefícios, mas quando perceberam já estavam agindo como um casal apaixonado. MUSE A pela primeira vez em muito tempo não teve dúvidas ou inseguranças, descobrindo que muitas vezes o amor é sobre dividir o melhor de você com outra pessoa, a ensinado e aprendendo com ela.

“ Quando vi, já veio sim, tomou parte de mim. Levou embora o meu pesar. ”

SAY OKAY BY VANESSA HUDGENS —— muse a is skeptic about love after many failed relationships. one day they meet muse b and starts growing feelings for them. though, because of muse a’s skepticism, they can’t easily fall into a relationship with muse b. muse b shows muse a that they’ll be there for them through all the good and bad and that they promise to love them right.

HANGOVER BY HEY MONDAY —— muse a hooked up with muse b as an attempt simply to have a friends with benefits type deal. but as time goes on, despite how hard muse a tries not to, they start to grow feelings for muse b. and those moments they aren’t together eat up at muse a and they find themselves longing for muse b’s company again. whether or not muse b feels the same is up to you.

DRUNK BY ED SHEERAN —— muse a and muse b’s relationship falls apart when muse b just doesn’t feel the same way about muse a anymore. muse a is left devastated but instead of trying to fix the relationship and them self, they just go out and get drunk. eventually muse a tries to be muse b’s friend, at least. whether or not muse b lets them is up to you.

never be the same - Camilla Cabello: muse a is the perfect child at their parents eyes. great grades, an athlet and everything else. but, one day, muse a goes to a party and meets muse b, the person everyone tells them to keep their distance; not a good student, known for trouble. long story short, after a couple drinks, muse a and muse b leaves the party to go after some adventures, and muse a starts trying new things. is this gonna be a fling or will their stories be changed forever?

she loves control - Camilla Cabelo: muse a grew up seeing their dad cheat on their mom, and, because of that, promised themselves they would never fall in love. they usually breaks hearts, and then, never call again. that’s until they meet muse b. muse b is a nerdy, university student, and their innocence is something that makes muse a want to play games with them and then break their hearts. but, what if things don’t go as planned?

[myhockeyworld87]

Ruined - Jamie Benn - Part 1

Word Count: 3,332

POV: Reader

Warnings: Language, smut, NSFW

Notes: So here we go with this new story that’s been stuck in my head and finally worked it’s way onto here. Please see the Masterlist for the synopsis. The first two parts should really be one, but I broke it into 2 because well sometimes I don’t have time to read long fics and then I lose my place, so I tried to make this a bit easier for anyone else that has this problem. So, Part 2 is coming out tonight as well. As always feedback is greatly appreciated. Happy Reading!

You sat there staring at the piece of paper in your hand, debating back in forth in your mind about what you wanted to do. This was your dream offer, just not in your dream city. In fact, if you were being honest this was the last place you saw yourself moving, but could you or would you turn it down because of him. He’d dictated most of your high school life, and some of college, to give him that kind of power over your career now would be so stupid. Especially, when you literally hadn’t seen him in almost twelve years. He probably wouldn’t even remember you, but there was no way that you could ever forget Jamie Benn.

 It was your freshman year in high school when you’d met him. He was slightly older and had just come to your secondary school to play hockey. Jamie was quiet, which seemed kind of funny for a jock. They were always loud and boisterous, but maybe you were just going by the ones in your family. By default, he was thrown in with all the other hockey players and one so happened to be your older brother, who was also friends with Jamie’s brother Jordie. The three of them ended up being thick as thieves and drove you half insane at times. Well, maybe not Jamie. When he was at your house the two of you always ended up having some random conversation about god only knew what, but it was always entertaining. You easily got a crush on him after about the seventh or eighth time you were around him but kept that to yourself. Oh, it wasn’t like you weren’t pretty or anything. It was the opposite really. Cheerleader, as well as on the track team; you were one of the more popular freshmen in school, but you were also terribly shy and inexperienced when it came to boys. You always felt, well, awkward around them, not knowing if you would say the right thing or do something embarrassing. With Jamie though, it was different. He made you feel so at ease, but then maybe part of that was because he shared the same awkwardness that you did.

 You distinctly remember one night early your sophomore year, when your brother, Justin, and Jordie decided to take both you and Jamie to a party. They practically had the school slut, throwing herself at Jamie, but it was clear the boy had no clue what to do, as his hands awkwardly fumbled her advances. Which was fine with the jealous streak that suddenly went through your entire body. She attempted to kiss him, and with all eyes focused on him, he went to return it, only to completely miss her and end up bonking her on the head. In end, he’d laughed things off saying he was too drunk, but you knew that he’d only had one beer. He somehow slipped out of the cabin you’d been partying at, and back to the woods, after the incident. Of course, you’d followed him. “Hey Jame, you ok?” He simply shrugged as you sat down on the log beside him. “Justin and Jordie can be dickheads sometimes, you know?”

 “Tell me about it.”

 “I’m sure you’re a better kisser.” Oh my god, did those words really leave your mouth? Fuck. “I mean…like…” Jamie just sort of smiled over at you as you stumbled through words that seemed to be regurgitating out of your mouth. 

 “Maybe,” he finally said, staring off into the woods, then very quietly added. “I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

 You had to strain your ears to catch that last part, but you were definitely sure he said he’d never had a first kiss. “Oh,” you answered softly, with a hint of surprise in your voice, though inside you were giddy. Somehow, you’d just assumed that someone like Jamie, who was athletic and good looking had definitely been kissed before. It was surprising that he admitted it to you, and before you knew what was happening that same word vomit from before was making an appearance. “Me either.”

 “Really?” His question came almost as soon as you spit out the words. Why he found that hard to believe was beyond you.

 “Yes really.”

 “I just thought….well…” This time it was Jamie stumbling through a sentence instead of you. “I know that you and David have been hanging out a lot.” 

 “David?” While it was true, you’d been hanging out with one of the school’s top soccer players, it was for a completely different reason then stolen kisses. “I’m tutoring him in biology. If he fails, he’s off the team.” The words fell from your lips before you had time to fully think them through. “Please don’t say anything. He doesn’t want anyone to know.”

 “I won’t,” Jamie told you and you knew that you could trust him with this or any secret that you had. He turned toward you then, his eyes locking with yours. “I’m glad you’re only tutoring him.”

 “Oh, why? He seems like a nice guy or have you heard different…” you trailed off not quite sure of what or why you were even asking.

 “Oh, he seems nice. I don’t really know him.” Jamie ran his fingers through his hair then. A telltale sign he was searching for the right words. “I mean…I’m glad you’re not dating him, you know…because…well I thought….” He blew out a breath and you held yours. “Maybe you’d want to date me.” Goose pimples rose on your flesh at his words. This was the moment you dreamed about, and now, here it finally was. When you didn’t answer right away Jamie added, “That is…did you want to go on a date?”

 The corners of your lips pulled up into a smile and Jamie’s did as well. “I’d like that.”

 “Me too.” He adjusted himself so that he was sitting closer to you on the log you shared. Now only an inch or two separated the two of you as he hesitantly made a move to hold your hand. It hovered just above yours for a few seconds, both of your eyes shifting down to watch as he finally clasped your hands together, and then you were both shared a stupid grin. “Can I…kiss you?”

 You were speechless at all that had transpired in the last couple of moments, and so you just nodded, both excited and afraid to share your first kiss with Jamie. You moved in closer, while Jamie did the same. Your eyes slowly going shut as your lips drew near. Jamie’s lips ghosted over yours, just barely a brush against your skin as first, but then he added a bit more pressure and it was both awkward and wonderful at the same time. You both stayed that way for several heartbeats neither of you moving, both unsure what the next move was. His free hand, the one that wasn’t tightly laced with yours, came up to caress your cheeks, and then your lips were moving together and it was one kiss simply melting into a million more. Unconsciously, you sighed. Your lips parting open for him and his tongue darted into your mouth. Eyes flying open at the contact, you weren’t sure how to react. Of course, you knew what a French kiss was, had seen it on television a million times, but to experience it was quite different. You realized you could taste the beer he’d drunk earlier and something else, though you couldn’t put your finger on it. Tentatively, you let your tongue mingle with his, letting your eyes flutter shut once again so you could savor the feel of this kiss; your first kiss with Jamie Benn. 

 It was one of many that you shared with Jamie over the next few months. He took you out on several dates, mostly to the movies or to the little pizza shop you both loved, but most nights were either spent on your couch or his, where you’d watch hockey and then makeout until it was time for curfew. Your relationship progressed about as much as any fifteen going on sixteen-year-olds did; there was a lot of holding hands and quiet kisses. On night’s that one of your parents would go out and leave you both alone, it definitely went from first to second base rather quickly, and you learned that Jamie was definitely a boob man. He became an expert at unclasp your bra in record time, of course, there was a learning curve that involved a lot of fumbling around. 

 It was Jamie’s birthday, that you decided to give him a present he’d never forget. For the life of you at the age of fifteen, you couldn’t figure out why it was called a blowjob when you were definitely supposed to suck on his cock. Thankfully, you’d seen enough of your brother’s porn stash to know how to give a proper one and not look completely stupid. Though you didn’t expect to gag when Jamie thrust his hips into your face uncontrollably. At least you recovered quickly and were able to swallow most of his cum when it shot down the back of your throat. It was two weeks later that he finally reciprocated, by going down on you in the backseat of his car. While not the most romantic place in the world, his tongue flicking across your clit made up for the cliché atmosphere. 

 By the end of summer, you’d rounded all the bases but hadn’t hit a home run yet. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to sleep with Jamie; it was the exact opposite. However, there just wasn’t a time or place for the deed to get done. The two of you had discussed and decided that you wanted to make it special and not just make it some little box that you could check off in your relationship. This would be the first time for both of you, so while it was going to be memorable, you also wanted to savor it. As neither of you were eighteen yet, it wasn’t like you could go and get a hotel, for you’d thought about that option, and you’d already ruled at the car. With limited options in Victoria, you had no choice but to travel to your parents' second house on the outskirts of Vancouver. It was rarely used, as your dad only stayed there on business trips which had become less frequent over the last couple of years. Even though the house was rarely occupied, you came up with an elaborate plan for your parents to let you not only stay there overnight but travel there by yourself. Well, technically it wasn’t by yourself as you said you were going with your best friend Emma. Who covered for you, god love her.

 You weren’t sure what excuse Jamie had told his parents, but he picked you up at Emma’s house one Saturday morning and the two of you made the trip in less than three hours. It was a nerve-wracking drive, though Jamie held your hand most of the time. It wasn’t really the thought of having sex with Jamie that made you uneasy. It was the thought of having sex period. You were afraid it was going to hurt, but you kept trying to push past that thought, knowing that you wanted to do this, more so that you wanted to do this with Jamie. 

 It was awkward, just like all your firsts with Jamie were, but eventually, you two were able to move past that, and in the end, it was actually kind of amazing. Though the most wonderful part had to be falling asleep in Jamie’s arms. He’d made you felt so loved and cherished, and you’d known right then and there that you’d made the right decision to give you virginity away to this man. It felt like the two of you would be together forever.

 That was until the following Tuesday at school came around. There were stares and whispers everywhere you looked, or so it seemed. It wasn’t until lunchtime, that you finally found out what was going on, and then it was only from Emma. “Em, what is going on with everyone? I feel like half these guys are staring at me.”

 She closed her eyes as if mustering up the courage to tell you something she didn’t want to. “Jamie told everyone that you two slept together.” You gasped, then quickly covered up both your mouth and the hurt that came along with it. “That’s not the worst of it,” Emma said and it felt like your heart just sank into your stomach. “I also heard that he told people you two have been fucking for months.” There were so many ‘whys’ and ‘how could he’ running around in your head you couldn’t make heads or tails of them. Jamie wouldn’t do this, there had to be some explanation. Your eyes scanned the cafeteria looking for him, but he was nowhere to be found. You were just about to get up and look for him when Emma’s hand came down on yours. “There’s more. He said the only reason he was dating you was because you were easy.” Bile rose in the back of your throat and you wanted to just run to the girls' bathroom and cry, but Emma stopped you. “Don’t,” she said simply. “If you go, it will just feed more gossip. Act like nothing is wrong and that nothing happened. Like you don’t care.” Easy for her to say when it felt like your heart was being ripped out of your chest along with your reputation. “Breathe.” You hadn’t realized you’d stopped until she said the word. 

 The rest of the day was a complete blur. You couldn’t find Jamie anywhere. As soon as you could make it home after practice, you were dialing his number. His mom answered, “I’m sorry (Y/N), Jamie’s not feeling well. I’ll have him call you when he’s feeling better.” The next day passed and still the lingering stares, mostly from the guys, continued. You’d even had a few ask you out, to which you simply rolled your eyes and told them it would only happen in their dreams. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say and just added fuel to the fire, making it seem like everything that Jamie had said true. He avoided you yet another day and you were beginning to wonder if he was going to pretend to be sick the entire school year just so he didn’t have to face you. By the third day that you hadn’t heard from him, you knew it was done. No matter what excuse he could give you, it would never make up for not only what he said but the way he’d treated you afterward. You simply needed to move on. So, when you saw him at school the following day, you completely ignored him. He attempted to talk to you several times, but you weren’t having it. “Come on (Y/N), please just talk to me.”

 “I think you’ve done enough talking for the both of us Jamie. We’re through.” There was hurt in his eyes and you wanted to break down and cry right then and there, but you held your head up high and continued down the hall to your next class. It was two periods later that Emma was handing you a note. You unfolded it, seeing Jamie’s writing on the top.

 (Y/N),

I’m sorry. Please let me explain….

 That’s all you read before tearing the letter up and tossing it in the garbage can in front of Jamie, hoping he would get the point and leave you alone. He didn’t. As soon as you walked in the door of your house, your mom told you he’d called three times already. After explaining that the two of you broke up, and crying on your mom’s shoulder for a half-hour, though not mentioning the details of your breakup; she told Jamie not to call back when the phone rang again. Ever persistent, Jamie came banging on the door after dinner. This time it was your dad that told him he wasn’t wanted in your home, even though Jamie was practically begging him to let you in, while you sobbed in the background. He kept up the same routine over the next week, all with the same result until eventually, he gave up.

 Over the next two weeks, you could hear the whispers as you walked down the hall. Girls muttering that you were slut, while the boys were trying to figure out which one of them would get to sample you next; now that it was clear you were no longer with Jamie. The icing on the cake was when David, the soccer player you’d been tutoring told everyone that you hadn’t been studying at all; that he’d been sleeping with you for the last month. No matter how many times you said it was a lie, no one believed you. Your reputation was simply shredded apart all by a few words Jamie had uttered. So, after a couple months of being talked about, there was only one thing left to do, and that was to become that girl that they whispered about. If they were going to condemn you, you might as well earn it.

 Your junior and senior year, you became the girl that gave the star point guard a blow job behind the bleachers after the game, as well as giving one to the goalie, the wide receiver, and the captain of the debate team, and a few more as well. Jamie seemed to take out his aggression on the ice, dropping the gloves with opponents left and right, but you tried to pay him no mind. Until he finally went to play for the Grizzlies and you didn’t have to see him all the time. By then end of high school, you truly had earned the reputation that he’d given you, but you were sick of it. Tired of being looked at for only sex, you applied to schools in the US. Thankfully, while you’d jumping from penis to penis, you’d still kept up your studies and were accepted at every school you’d applied to. 

 When you received your acceptance letter from Georgetown, along with a scholarship, you jumped at the chance to put yourself all the way across the continent from not only Jamie but what you’d become. At University, you put your head to the books instead of on some unknown guy’s cock, studying constantly which earned you a 4.0 in undergrad, and basically allowed you have your pick at the top medical schools in both Canada and the United States. It was a no brainer when John Hopkins wanted you and during your time there, you were able to work with not only the Baltimore Ravens but the Orioles as well, all within your first year. Which had you taking up orthopedics and sports medicine as your specialty. 

 All of this led you to today and the offer you were currently mulling over. It was literally everything you’d ever wanted and allowed you to work with not only the NFL but the NBA and the NHL as well. It was the last one that had you rethinking it though. The pros well outweighed the only one con that you could think of and that was Jamie Benn. Who’s to say if he’d even remember you though? It wasn’t like you could forget him after what he’d done, but you let him dictate enough of your life; you weren’t about to let him continue. So, you typed up your written acceptance, then called Dr. Ellis to let him know you were taking the job. You’d made a new reputation for yourself this time around and you weren’t about to let Jamie Benn ruin this one. 

[themadauthorshatter]

If you're up to date with my posts, then you know what's about to happen.

I've read the books, WE'VE ALL READ THE BOOKS, but this is a somewhat fun switch-a-roo.

Expect a BUNCH of changes that I'll try justifying, especially painful ones, so bear with me🙏

OTP SWAP PART 1: THE CRUEL PRINCE!!!!

I'm starting with the first book for obvious reasons

Like before, we start in the mortal world with Ashley Duarte(yes, human!Cardan's last name is Duarte, but like I said, bear with me) making tacos in the kitchen while one of the MANY dogs and other animals wait for her to drop some food. Baby boy Cardan and his older half-sister Rhyia are watching some human stuff, maybe Looney Tunes or old Mickey Mouse cartoons, when the door is knocked on, which alerts the animals and wakes a half asleep Cardan; Rhyia does not wake up.

Cardan answers it and finds a cloaked Madoc at the door. Rather than ask who he is or call for his mother, he stares at this man, who kneels and asks as evenly as possible if his mother is home.

Cardan slams the door in his face, which prompts Ashley to ask why he did so.

Madoc BANGS on the door and shouts, "Asha!" and Ashley pales as she realizes who is at the door.

She demands Cardan to go upstairs as Madoc kicks the door open and walks inside, giving the same speech as the original, that Balekin told him she'd ran away with his daughter, that she killed a woman who was just as pregnant as her, that she ran away and married some lowly farm hand and blacksmith. He thought it was a lie, but nope. Here she stands.

Asha(which is her real name) is deeply ashamed at his words, and tries to pull Cardan away; an angry Madoc is an unstable Madoc.

Like before, Justin rushes in to save his family, but ends up getting kebabbed with his wife.

Rhyia does wake up to see both and Madoc spills the tea that she's his and needs to pack her bags because they're leaving, and Cardan's coming with.

Cardan, despite being seven, is outraged and tries to kick Madoc into oblivion with no avail. Rhyia, however, swears that she'll never love a monster like Madoc, who simply scoffs and tells her to wrangle the human and gather her things in half an hour, because they're leaving for Faerie.

Reluctantly, they do and they never see the mortal world again for a very long time.

Jump to the present day as Cardan, a now seventeen year old human heart throb, is getting prim and proper for a revel. His hair is getting styled nice, he's in a nice suit, he's wearing a cool belt that makes him look like he has a tail, and has ear cuffs that make his ears look pointed like a faerie.

He also has rowan berries on his wrist, because he doesn't want the necklace to be easy to see as a lot of his shirts show his chest.

He's dolled up and meets Locke, his brother that came around when Madoc married Oriana and had Oak. The two did not get along, at first, but they began to tolerate each ither as they realized they were the only humans in Faerie that were gentry kids.

Locke is more of a bard or a poet, always seen with a little book, and doesn't wear the same stuff Cardan does, so no pointed ear cuffs for him. He's also more accustomed to Faerie, being good with half truths and minor deception. He's on good terms with both Madoc and Oriana.

Cardan, however, is not on good terms with either of them, as he has tried multiple times to leave Faerie, with and without Rhyia with him, and every time ended with Madoc outside scowling at him and leading him back to his room. Still has that 'no kill' rule, but he's better with sneaking and a sword, having been able to lighten his steps so he could sneak past Madoc and his guards whenever he tried to leave. He's not bad with a sword, but he still has a lot to learn, being 17 and all. When he doesn't have a sword in his hands, he has an animal in them, i.e. a foal, a dog, or, at one point, a skunk that was calm enough to not spray him. Yeah, animal lover that can hold his own.

The two exchange banter and Locke shows show rare excitement for this revel, saying the two will have the time of their lives. Locke, who isn't as close with her, wonders where Rhyia is, but Cardan reveals she's not attending, instead going to visit some friends in the mortal world.

Her funeral as the boys saddle up with Oriana amd Madic and go to the revel.

Similar events occur, like Oriana telling the boys to be careful, Madoc talking to Dain and Balekin, and Locke leading Cardan through the revel so they can have a good time.

IT GOES DOWNHILL WHEN THE GREENBRIAR TWINS AND THEIR FRIENDS ARRIVE. Jude, her older sister Taryn, and their friends, Edir, a bard that can sing and play anyone under the table, Valerian, who's a sadist, and Nicasia, the princess of the Undersea.

Jude and Taryn may have the same face and body, but don't be fooled, Jude has horns, always wears a sword, and will slap you in a dress and then set it on fire without a second’s hesitation. Taryn, however, always has a bunch of flowers in her hair, always wears a dress, and uses words as her weapon. Did you know that she broke on of the most boisterous men in Faerie qith nothing but her words? True story. Edir is the guy that keeps them both in check, an order of Balekin's, which we'll learn later. He is also more of Jude's friend and Taryn's bed buddy, in SFW terms. Nicasia is Jude's friend, like FRIEND, and Valerian is the same, really, just more of an ass now that he has more even targets.

Everyone bows to these guys, even Cardan and a smirking Locke. That smirk vanishes when Taryn winks at Cardan, who Jude GLARES AT.

Locke feels the same way, cinfused and angry, but no time to think in it because Valerian storms toward a confused Cardan and grabs him by the collar, snarling that he can play dress up and make believe all he wants because it won't hide his plain hair or round ears or barn dog smell, so he shouldn't even bother.

Valerian throws him back and Locke rounds on Cardan, asking him what the hell that was between him and Taryn. Cardan brushes him off, as it was just a wink, not a lap dance. Before they can REALLY go at it, crying draws their attention and see that Jude just pincushioned someone who didn't bow, said someone nkw having a hole in their stomach and a slash across their torso. Taryn is annoyed, Nicasia and Valerian are trying not to laugh, and Edir, who's embarassed, is scolding Jude for losing it at a revel.

Jump to after the revel and the day of school. The boys do indeed get dirt kicked on their food, but instead of 'make me,' Cardan snaps, 'TRY me,' because Nicasia asks if he's as filthy as other human boys. Locke talks him down, but Valerian, kicking more dirt and even throwing some IN Cardan's face, asks if the two qould like them for friends.

Locke apologizes for Cardan, but Jude commands he prove it by dropping out of the tournament, it'll be less embarrassing than getting his ass beaten in front of everyone.

Nicasia spots one of the ear cuffs and pulls it off, asking if he stole it. Big mistake because the cuff burns her hand, as it is iron and iron hurts Faeries.

Cardan smirks and the group leaves, Locke scolding him for being stupid.

Later, at dinnner, after talk of Dain's coronation, Cardan, despite some minor objection from Rhyia, asks Madoc a question: May he please have a green sash for the tournament? Why? He would like to be a knight, please and thank you. Madoc chikes on his wine, Locke coughs to hide a laugh, Rhyia winces, and Oriana os shicked into silence.

Madoc gives it to him straight: he's not bad with a sword, he's good on his feet,and he's the best damned rider that anyone's ever seen, but no. He cannot compete for knighthood, on the count of being the furthest thing from a killer imaginable and just being in over his head.

Cardan protests that he can do just fine, but Madoc warns him to stop before he gets himself thrown in a dungeon instead if his room until the coronation of prince Dain.

Cardan relinquishes and we get the salt prank like before, except Locke is pissed beyond all reason at his foster brother. Cardan doesn't mind until he's grabbed by Edir and Valerian, Locke being pulled by the hair by Jude and both are thrown in the river, which has Nixies in it.

Thier supplies get yeeted, Locke gets pulled out by Valerian and is made to kiss Jude on the lips and both her horns, but, when asked, Cardan does not give up, vowing that he will never give up, which makes Jude laugh and the group leave.

Locke and Cardan walk home, get some baths, and go to bed, except they go to the mortal world with Rhyia and meet her friends Vivienne and Heather at the mall. Vivienne apologizes for Jude's behavior, and we learn that Rhyia is planning to leave Faerie, and is probably going alone.

The boys return and endure a lesson, but Jude pushes Locke's buttons, so Cardan pushes her into a tree. Challenge accepted.

TOURNAMENT TIME!! Cardan fairs wellin that Valerian is lazy, Edir is out of shape, and Jude got cocky, so he wins.

Jude fumes at him, later grabbing him by the tail on his belt amd demanding he beg for her forgiveness. He does... NOT! And spits in her face that she may push him down, but he'll pull her down with him, and it will hurt her like hell.

Taryn approaches him and expresses interest in him, saying that she once took both Edir and Nicasia from Jude because people just like a sensitive girl.

She leaves and the tournament eventually ends, which leads Cardan to return hime and meet Dain, who requested one of Madoc's people to tell Cardan one of Eldred's children had come for a visit.

Dain and Cardan get talking and Dain offers him something that isn't knighthood: spying. Plus one wish.

Cardan knows what he wants: to not be controled.

Granted, but Dain can still control him and the fruits of Faerie will still effect him.

Screwy, but deal, he's a spy now

STAY TUNED FOR PART 2!!!!!

[the-cooler-king]

Sometimes britt will drop something mad casual, like "I was napping but now the cats and adrian won't let me" and I'm thrust back ten fucking years to when Justin wouldn't let me do something because he thought he knew better

[twoidiotwriters1]

Iron 7 (Peter Parker x F!Oc)

Words: 2, 323

Masterlist

Chapter 6

Post-credits scene (Iron man 1) / Chapter 8

2010

"It's unfair that I can't go," Lily complains, walking into the living room.

"You should get used to it," Jess says without taking her eyes off the television where they’re playing the replay of the grand opening of Stark Expo. "No one else can find out who your father is.”

Lily leans against the back of the chair where Jessica is.

“It’s unfair. My dad hasn't even said anything about going, lots of kids have fun there,” She sighs.

The screen highlights the dance of some women in small red shorts and tops, referring to the armor. And to Tony with a huge smile showing his great achievement.

"Even he has more fun than me,” She grimaces. "Although, I think he’s more cocky now than before…”

“Big word,” says Jess. "Stop complaining. Maybe one day, I can take you.”

"Seriously?"

"If your father lets us visit him for free, of course,” She turns to see her and smiles. “Now finish your homework.”

“Fine."

Lily returns to the table with all the homework that her math teacher left her after her private class. She expected to go to school like a normal girl, but Pepper and Tony insisted on hiring several teachers to visit her during the week. "We can't risk it," They said, much less when reporters and practically the whole world follows Tony in every move since he broke the news about the Iron Man.

She can’t complain, some subjects are fun and she advances very fast, if she were in a school, she wouldn't be able to do it. In addition to the private lessons she has some with Happy, she appreciates that too. It's fun to see Happy struggling to learn the subjects with her.

"Hey, Lily. You have to see this,” Jess says from the living room. Lily returns and this time sits on the couch to see her father in the Senate or the military committee. Obviously, television doesn't show everything, but enough to see that her father just makes fun of everyone, especially that businessman Justin Hammer.

"Very cocky.”

Both girls nod.

***

"And I also learned about worldwar-two, but Professor Edwards said it would take us longer to do our research because there is so much information," Lily informs walking next to Pepper.

"I'm glad you're enjoying your classes, honey," She says with a smile, but then sneezes.

"Are you sure you shouldn't be resting?" The worried girl asks.

"I'm fine, don’t worry.”

They both go down the stairs until they reach Tony's workshop. Pepper puts the combination and they enter. Lily, seeing Tony for the first time in a few weeks, runs towards him. Tony gets up from the chair and receives her with a hug, bending down to her height.

"You should also greet me this way, Pepper," Tony teases. Pepper rolls her eyes, but she can't help a smile at the cute image.

"Why didn't you wake me up when you arrived?" Lily asks as they part. She crosses her arms.

"I could hear your snoring outside,” He jokes. “No nightmares?"

"Didn’t have any this week.”

“Good, and enough waiting for me on the couch, last time you complained about back pain. Those complaints are not allowed until you’re fifty years old... or thirty, it depends,” He nods, ruffling the girl's hair making her laugh.

The moment ends when Pepper remembers why she was upset with Tony. Now they both walk around the workshop discussing things. Lily listens to them as she sits in the chair where Tony was. She frowns when she sees a brown box, but Pepper's comment distracts her.

"The Expo is a gigantic waste of time.”

“There’s nothing more important to me than the Expo,” answers Tony. “It’s my primary point of concern.”

"Hey!" Lily complains. “What about me? I’m your daughter! And you haven't taken me to Stark Expo yet, so unfair…” She says with a pout.

"What?" Tony says from the other side. “I'm sorry, kid. Grown ups talking here!" He answers by pretending not to have heard her.

Lily makes a face.

"The Expo is your ego gone crazy,” follows Pepper.

Lily stopped listening. Photos of boring cars on Tony's computers are more interesting than Pepper scolding her father. She only lifts her head when they return to the entrance. Tony trades a painting for an Iron Man painting. Then, suddenly, Tony appoints Pepper CEO of Stark Industries.

"Trying to figure out who a worthy successor would be,” says Tony over a few glasses of champagne, "and then I realized, well since she's only eight, she can't run a company,” He points out to the girl.

"Yet!" She yells from her place.

"It’s you. It's always been you.”

***

"I think I'm ready for that training," says Lily pulling the ropes of the ring in the middle of the room.

"Not yet, Smarty," Happy replies.

"But I'm eight now and I can outrun you.”

"Anyone can outrun Happy, kid," adds Tony.

"So why did you tell me to come if you won't let me train?"

“Watch us and learn.”

Lily makes a face. She’s getting tired of everyone forbidding her so many things.

It doesn't take long for Pepper to walk in asking Tony for a signature. Lily walks over to the white chair near Pepper. She sighs, she's about to complain to her, but the presence of another redhead interrupts her. She had never seen that woman and apparently she also distracts the two men.

"What’s your name, lady?" Tony asks

"Rushman. Natalie Rushman,” She introduces herself.

“Hi," greets Lily. Natalie looks at her with a smile.

"Wait, I thought no one should know about Stark Jr.'s existence,” Tony points out.

“She’s already signed a confidentiality contract. Don’t worry.”

Tony shrugs and invites Natalie into the ring. She obeys. Pepper sits on the couch next to Lily and Tony pulls her aside to sit on the same couch.

"Now she’ll be your assistant?" Lily asks. Pepper nods. “Wow, you used to be Tony's assistant, now you have one. I wish I had one,” She says.

"I want one of those too," says Tony. And with that, they argue again. Lily rolls her eyes, but something else interrupts her thoughts and the discussion.

Apparently Natalie is more than capable and better trained than Happy since she manages to throw him to the floor in one movement. The three of them get up from the couch.

"Happy," Pepper squeals.

Lily goes back up to the edge of the ring and smiles seeing how Happy gets up with difficulty. She raises her head to see Natalie.

"Cool! Can you teach me to do that?"

“Sure."

"Definitely not," Pepper and Nat say at the same time.

"Why not?" Lily frowns and steps out of the ring

The second redhead clears her throat, she puts on her shoes and talks to Tony about some documents. In the end, they finally finish the paperwork for Pepper to become CEO. Natalie leaves. Tony and Pepper start talking about a trip to Monaco.

"What? Are you going to travel again? You just arrived,” The girl complains, drawing their attention.

“It'll only be a couple of days, Lily," replies Pepper.

"That's what you always say.”

“Hey." says Tony. "It's a business trip, kid.”

"That too you always say,” She rolls her eyes. Pepper looks surprised, that's not how she used to act before. "Can I go this time? I can do my homework there.”

“Sorry, but no. Remember that you’re still a ghost." says Tony

She frowns.

"That's not fair. You always leave me here, I can't even go to a park and you don't let me accompany you, you’re hardly home anymore,” She says, raising her voice and causing a certain tingling to appear in her hands.

"Watch your tone, Lily,” says Tony starting to get annoyed. He looks down at the girl's clenched hands. "Turn that off, now.”

"Just this once, I promise to be good. If you want, I'll stay at the hotel,” She insists with a frustrated sigh. She opens her hands to avoid making a mess.

"I said no, young lady.”

"But-"

"Lily Stark, I said no,” Tony ends with a firm voice.

The little girl clenches her teeth and runs out of the place before they can see her cry from anger.

"Huh, it brought out your moody side too, Tony," Happy says from across the room.

Stark sighs.

"I'll talk to her when we get back.”

Pepper feels guilty. Maybe they’d been more absent since Tony announced the identity of Iron Man and now it’ll be worse because of the new job. She wants to follow her, but she knows better to leave her alone for a moment.

***

"Hey, you broke your record," Jess says, handing a bottle to the girl, who gasps. She takes it and sits on the chair next to the girl.

It's been a couple of hours since Lily started running through the gated area of the Stark property.

"Can we do something else?" Lily asks.

Jess takes out the notebook where the itinerary is written.

"I suppose we can rest for a while," Jess replies, taking off her sunglasses.

"You didn't do anything, what are you going to rest from?" Lily says with a smile.

"I can't be in the sun that long, I want to be tanned, not burned.”

"If you say so.”

After the break, Lily continued with her task, finishing earlier that she is used to. The rest of the day, they both decided to just relax with some masks that Jess had brought.

"Why do they smell funny?" Lily asks feeling the texture of her mask.

"That's coconut, you'll get used to it,” answers Jess. “Afterwards we’ll paint our nails, we’ll watch romantic movies while we eat ice cream. It’ll be fun.”

"Why are we doing this?"

"It's what some girls are used to doing when they are alone or with their friends.”

Lily nods. "Why?"

Jess laughs. At this point she’s already used to the onslaught of questions that she sometimes receives.

“It's fun, it's also girls quality time, you know, they talk about handsome people, the boys they like from school. It’s a distraction that sometimes we need, even from parents.”

Lily frowns.

"Do you need a distraction from your parents?"

“Okay,” Jess gets comfortable on the bed to sit in front of the girl. “Many times, especially when you’re a teenager, you argue with your parents and it’s normal. That’s why it’s good to have friends with whom you can vent. Trust me, if I didn't have my friends, my relationship with my mother would be a disaster. But it's not a bad thing,” She clarifies when she sees Lily's grimace. "Parents also need to get away from their children a bit.”

"Is that why Tony travels a lot?"

"I don’t think so. He’s an important businessman and he just wants to take care of you, that's why you should stay here.”

"It's not fair,” She crosses her arms.

“Yes, you should get used to that too. When you’re older it’ll be a little easier.”

Lily's head fills with more questions.

“Jess."

"Yeah?"

“We're friends?”

"Of course.”

"Can I vent to you about my dad?" Jess laughs.

"Tell me everything.”

They both talk about many things and do girlish stuff. Lily learns a few things as Jess tells her about her life as a student and everything she does when she’s not taking care of her. At one point, she wishes she had that life, but, even if she could go to normal school, she couldn't have all of that, at least not like Jess.

Night comes, Jess sleeps in the guest room leaving Lily in her room. The great Stark mansion is completely silent, the nightmares that had not tormented the girl for several months return and this time, they’re worse.

She’s on the floor of an empty room, the four walls are completely white. She doesn't see anyone else, but she knows someone is watching her. She wants to ask for help, she wants to scream, but no matter how much she opens her mouth, nothing comes out of her. Her torso and arms are trapped with a straitjacket. She tries to get out of it, but everything is useless.

The tickling starts in her hands, but this time she’s not in control and quickly spreads throughout her body. She wants to burn the straitjacket, but in the dream it’s not possible.

"Lily!"

The girl suddenly wakes up sitting on the mattress. She looks everywhere, but her mind is still in that empty room. She falls off her bed, but keeps moving until a wall stops her.

“Lily, it's okay! Quiet! You have to breathe…” Jess says in the dark.

“Don't!" screams Lily. Her chest rises and falls rapidly. "Please don't hurt me!” She sobs. “Please, please…”

"Lily, it's me!” The girl approaches the girl and touches her arm, but she removes it immediately when she feels the high temperature. Jess screams in fright, causing Lily to jump in place of her. "J.A.R.V.I.S, turn on the lights!” She orders and the AI obeys.

Lily blinks trying to focus her vision, when it happens, what she sees is another fear: Jess is in front of her looking at the blisters on her hand.

She had done that. Lily burned Jess.

Memories of when this happened with her mother come to her mind, causing her panic to escalate.

She doesn't hesitate twice to leave the room, ignoring Jessica's calls. She runs through the house, down the stairs and to the workshop. J.A.R.V.I.S lets her in and sets the code so that no one else could enter. Finally, Lily goes to one of Tony's cars and hides underneath it. She bends her legs and hugs them to her chest. The only thing that can be heard in the workshop are the uncontrollable sobs of the girl.

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