#I sometimes wonder if some women understand the gravity of calling a woman a bitch

[crowmero]

My own reminder for the next time someone tell me this two are "feminist icons" (not, they're not).

[evaluating305nonprofits]

Why Create this Blog?

Backstory

Something I, like a lot of little girls, had ingrained in me from the earliest days of my life was to always be nice. Not just nice… sweet. Smiling, meek, always willing to help. To me, it was inextricable from femininity. “No” was a sour word, the word of women who boys my age sniggered about and called “hags” and “bitches”. It was a word to be avoided unless absolutely necessary. 

I’m also, if we are being honest, too trusting. I’m quick to see the good in people, and sometimes forget to even consider if there’s any bad to be detected. 

I’m also young. Physically, I’m not incredibly strong. 

I work as a waitress, and must take a daily walk home at three in the morning that cuts across pitch-black railroad tracks and woods. I wear shorts that barely skim the top of my thighs, and am all too aware of the neatly folded pile of cash tips in my apron. 

Each time I hear a bramble shake or the wind whisper cruelly through leaves, my heart jumps like it wants to escape my body through my mouth.

 My point is, I am what would be considered a vulnerable woman, a label that applies to literal millions of people, from all walks of life, across Miami. 

Though, logically, I understand what that means, it can be difficult to grasp the full gravity of that label until that vulnerability truly envelops you: until that one moment where the illusion of permanent safety, of immortality, is lifted, and you are left defenseless and afraid and knowing nothing but the fact that you have no way of protecting yourself. And, if you’re lucky and the moment passes, you remember there’s millions of you. Millions, ignoring the threats the world holds for them until they’re impossible to ignore. And you wonder which one of them wasn’t lucky that night, because we couldn’t all have been.

 You wonder if, at another sticky sports bar across town, another girl making that nightly walk home just had the soul scared out of her by the sound of shuffling in trees…  but she doesn’t get to hold her hand to her chest and sigh and realize there’s nothing there.

 For someone, somewhere, there was Something. 

Or, the true nightmare, Someone. 

It’s not fair that I- and the multitude of women like me in the Miami area- don’t get to be naive. I should be trusting, kind, helpful. I should be able to walk home at night and not feel genuinely afraid for my life. I should be able to give coworkers rides home without having to stop to consider whether or not they’re actually evil freaks. And, above all, I shouldn’t bear that heavy responsibility all by myself. 

My experience has taught me that, above all, women need to protect each other. Because the people and structures in power certainly will not. We must learn to take care of ourselves, and of women everywhere. Of our trans and cis sisters, mothers, little girls, grandmothers. And we need to learn that being rude is downright empowering. 

We cannot rest till all of our girls are genuinely safe to be as trusting and naive as they want to be. 

The Mission of this Account

This account is my way of uplifting myself and the women around me who are in urgent need of resources and assistance, but don’t know where to even begin looking for it. The aim of this account is to develop a clear set of specifications to look for when evaluating a nonprofit organization like a women’s shelter, and to easily communicate that criteria so that women around Miami and the world can apply it to their own lives in the case of an emergency, so that they are given the best possible assistance in their time of need. I will also create comparisons and assessments of some of the most prominent shelters in our area, such as the Lotus House Women’s Shelter. Thank you, and I hope you find the resources on this site helpful. 

[brrahbrrahcharacterimagines]

You Think They Are Falling For Someone Else (Part 2)

MASTERLIST

If you haven’t read Part 1, read it HERE

A/N: For some reason I started writing these LONG like full-fledged imagines so I tried to cut back as I went along. 

Request: I was wondering if you could make a part 2 of you think they are fallong for someone else thank you if you can i love it - @cherry-blossom-queen-blog ~~I know this was requested forever ago, but I took a pretty long unexpected break from this blog. Now that I’m back, here you go!~~

Rick Grimes

It had been weeks of agony for you. Every “meeting” Rick went to made you want to curl up into a ball and cry. Sometimes, you did. 

Carl had caught on to what was happening, confronting you one day.

“Y/N, what’s going on?” He asked, concerned. He looked up to you as a mother figure, especially since his own mother had passed and now you were with his father. You couldn’t bet on the last one remaining a reason though.

“Nothing,” you said, trying to brush it off.

“I’m not a little kid anymore Y/N. That won’t work on me anymore.”

You sighed.

“It’s just that your father is spending a lot more time away from us. At first I understood, but now he is gone almost every night. I can’t help but think that these ���meetings with Michonne’ might be more.” You took a deep breath after your words and Carl let out a breath you hadn’t realized he was holding.

“I’ve thought that too.”

Your heart sank. If you both realized, it must be true. You decided to confront him that night about it, so long as he was actually home.

Thankfully he was; it was one of the few nights that he had nothing going on. Dinner was tense, and afterwards you put Judith to bed before heading back to your room.

When you entered, Rick was standing in the master bathroom in just his pajama pants, brushing his teeth. It may have been a small moment, but it was something that used to fill you with pure joy. Now it only made you long for how things used to be.

“Hey Rick?” You said quietly

“Yea?” He responded, rinsing his mouth.

“Can we talk?”

His expression turned to one of worry. He agreed, and he sat beside you on the edge of the bed.

“I understand if you want to leave me.” You said, blurting it out from the get-go. You knew you had to start off strong, otherwise you never would have said it.

“What?” He near-yelled, baffled. “Why the hell would I want to do that?”

You began to tear up but tried to hold them back. You didn’t want to seem weak in top of everything else.

“You’ve been spending a lot more nights out, nights with Michonne. I tried to ignore it, I really did, and tried to remind myself that it was just business. But there are so many nights when I fall asleep waiting for you because you get home so late. I know that you have been going to see her, and not on Deanna’s wishes.” You paused, taking a second to bite back a sob. Rick tried to speak but you interrupted him, continuing with everything that you had planned to tell him. “Carl has noticed it too, how you have been spending so much more time with her lately. I don’t blame you, she’s a beautiful woman with a bad-ass spirit. Of course you want her.”

There was a long pause before Rick spoke.

“Please say something,” you whispered on the verge of breaking. You finally looked up to meet Rick’s eyes, seeing them full of tears.

“Y/n,” he whispered, “I love you.”

He reached out to you and you fell into his arms. You longed for the comfort of his embrace.

“That’s not true. I don’t want her. I really have been swamped with meetings and debates, I swear.” He pulled away to look at you, showing you he was telling the truth. “You can’t tell anybody, but we think there is a rival group nearby trying to sneak in. That’s what we have been so worried about to talk so much about.”

The tears were at this point falling freely from your eyes and down your cheeks.

“I’m so sorry,” you sobbed. “I was so stupid.”

Rick pulled you tightly to him, caressing your hair. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“Don’t be sorry,” he muttered, ”this is all my fault. I should have told you. It did seem like I was going behind your back. I should be the one who is sorry.”

You wrapped your arms around him tightly, burying your face into his chest. He was yours.

Negan

Hours later you walked back to speak to Negan. You figured it had been enough time for him to have blown off some steam and sent the girl back to her room. Unluckily for you, you hadn’t waited quite long enough and you passed her in the hallway,her hair tousled and clothes disheveled. You wanted to glare at her, yell at her; but you knew that it wasn’t her fault. She sent you a sad smile, and you continued to Negan’s door. 

You didn’t bother to knock. He had nothing to hide.

He had already put a pair of sweatpants on, but his chest was bare. On any other occasion you would have ogled, but this time you were here for a different reason.

“Hey Babygirl, great timing. That broad just left.”

“I know,” you responded bitterly. “I passed her in the hallway.”

You usually tried to restrain yourself from seeming so bitter, but you saw no point now.

“I’m leaving.”

“Leaving?” Replied Negan with a cocky smile. “But shit, you just got here! You’re already heading back to your room?” You rolled your eyes, but also sent Negan a sad smile.

“That’s not what I meant.”

Realizing the gravity of your words, Negan walked over to you so that he was within a foot of you. He smelled intoxicating but you pushed that aside. 

“What?” He sputtered, yelling in confusion and rage. “You’re just going to walk the fuck out?” You took a deep breath, trying to maintain your cool.

“Yes,” you said, defiantly standing your ground.

“Why?” He raged.

“Because I love you, damn it!”

That isn’t how you meant for it to come out, but now he knew. He ran a hand over his face in thought, and you had to ignore how sexy you found it. He sat on the edge of his bed, motioning for you to come and sit beside him.

“Why had you never told me before?” He said quietly.

“It never seemed like it mattered. I was always just your friend. Besides, you already had your wives.” You stopped yourself from saying more, afraid that your voice would crack and give you away.

“So what?”

“So what?” You blurted in disbelief. “What the hell do you mean, ‘so what’? How am I supposed to tell you that I love you when all you care about is fucking some bitch with two brain cells who only pretends to care about you so she can have a nicer room?”

He couldn’t help but chuckle at your insult towards his wives, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still pissed off.

“You just fucking tell me! It’s just three words.”

“You had already chosen a harem, Negan.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “What would you have said anyway?” You puffed up your chest and plastered a smirk on your face, doing your best impression of the man. “Oh, you fucking love me? Join my damn fucking wives! I’ll give you a little black fucking dress and now I’ll only talk to you when I’m fucking pissed and horny!”

“I’ve got to say Baby, you’ve got the cursing part of that down.”

You huffed. Is that all he had to say? But then he sighed and continued in an uncommon quiet tone.

“I would have told you that I loved you too.”

You couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped your lips. You looked over to Negan, expecting him to laugh and say that he was kidding. Instead you looked upon sincere eyes and a small smile.

“I don’t mean like one of your wives, Negan.” 

“I know,” he replied. “I don’t mean like one of my wives either. You spark something inside of me that I thought I could never feel again after my wife, my real wife, passed away. I love you, truly fucking love you.”

“We could never work out though,” you replied sadly.

“And why the hell not?” He countered, becoming a bit defensive.

“I hate to beat a dead horse, but your wives, Negan. I can’t sit idly by as you fuck other women for fun.”

“They’re gone.”

“What?” You stammered.

“Then they’re gone. Y/N, Babygirl, you’re all I need.”

You were enough.

Daryl Dixon

You looked out over the prison from your spot on the guard tower, watching everybody working below. You didn’t mind being the lookout, it gave you a chance to see what everybody was up to while also giving you time to think on your own. The problem is that today, almost all you could think of was Daryl.

Speak, or rather think, of the devil. You hadn’t heard him coming; as a hunter he actually had rather quiet footsteps. However, as he stood in the doorway he called out to you.

“Y/N?” He called.

“Yes, Daryl?” You replied, turning to face him. He walked towards you, but you stayed planted firmly in place. You were done chasing him, you had decided. 

“You’ve been avoidin’ me,” he stated gruffly. He didn’t meet your eyes.

“So?” You retorted. “Why does it matter to you?”

“I like talkin’ to ya,” he said, “being around you.” If you weren’t mistaken, he had a light flush to his cheeks that was spreading to his ears. Despite this, you couldn’t help but still feel bitter.

“Well you sure seem to like talking to Carol too,” you replied hotly. Daryl just chuckled in response.

“She just likes giving me a hard time,” he says.

“What, because she likes you?”

“What?” Daryl sputtered, finally looking at your eyes, his own squinted in confusion. “Carol don’t like me! She just knows I like someone else,” he said, trailing of and getting quieter at the end. Now it was your turn to be confused.

“You do?” You asked, watching him as he took a couple of steps towards you.

“Yeah,” he nearly whispered in a gruff voice as he stood close to you. You were close enough to feel his hot breath fanning on your face. “Carol keeps tellin’ me I need to grow a pair and ask her out, but I had been too nervous.”

Daryl moved his hand up to your face, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear and causing you to blush.

“But now I’m thinking that she saw Carol teasing me about my crush and got the wrong idea.”

You leaned up, pressing a kiss to Daryl’s lips. 

“I would love to be your girlfriend, Daryl,” you told him softly. He beamed at you in response, pulling you into a tight hug.

Glenn Rhee

There he was with her again.

You had been living on the farm for a while now, and what you had thought when you first arrived was finally coming true. You saw Maggie and Glenn sitting close together, leaning in and laughing at what the other was saying. They looked like the perfect couple.

Still, you couldn’t help but feel angry, sad, and guilty.

You were angry at yourself for not telling him how you felt sooner. You had loved him for what felt like forever to you, but you kept it a secret and watched as another woman whisked him away.

You were sad that it was her with him, and not you. You wanted to be the one spending all that time with him, not just some old friend pushed to the wayside. You would remember the times you spent together before the dead stopped dying. Whenever you were upset before, Glenn would take you into his arms and do all that he could to comfort you. You would have movie nights almost every week with snacks and everything. Now those memories of joy only brought you sadness. Moments that meant everything to you seemed as if they meant nothing to him.

But most of all you felt guilty. You had never told him how you felt, and he wasn’t yours. Even if you had told him, there was no guarantee that he felt the same. Now he was happy, and you felt ashamed of yourself for not letting him just be happy.

You couldn’t live with this burden any longer though, or you were going to go crazy. Your friendship was already on the rocks, seeming to dwindle as you spent more time on the farm. You decided to just tell Glenn how you felt. It didn’t matter if he didn’t feel the same way, or if he loved Maggie. You just had to tell him.

Maggie got up to leave, excusing herself to go help her father with some chores. You took the opportunity, rushing over to Glenn.

“Can I just say something crazy?” You asked him, trying not to lose your nerve.

“Y/N, everything you say is crazy.” He teased with a smile, but you didn’t return the smile this time.

“Glenn, I’m serious.” His face softened and he looked at you with worry.

“Okay,” he said. “I’m sorry. Go ahead.” You took a deep breath before letting it all out.

“From the first time I saw you at that party and my friend introduced us, I thought you were the most handsome man in the world. It was like love at first sight, scratch that, it was love at first sight. For me, anyway. I loved being your friend but I always wanted there to be more between us even though I never told you. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship; I decided that having you in my life as a friend was better than not having you in my life at all. But now seeing you with Maggie, I can’t help but regret that. I know that you like her, and I want you to be happy; I really do. But I had to tell you how I felt about you or I was going to go insane. I’m so sorry for-”

You were cut off from your rambling by a soft pair of lips on your own. Glenn was kissing you. His arms wrapped around your waist as you kissed him back, placing your hands on his chest.

“But what about Maggie?” You asked as the two of you pulled away, still holding each other close.

“Screw her,” he said as he placed another kiss on your lips. “You’re the one I want. The one I’ve always wanted. I thought you wouldn’t ever see anything in a guy like me.”

“I see everything in you. Now shut up and kiss me again, you dork.”

Abraham Ford

You had tried to avoid Abraham for as long as you could after you caught Rosita getting ready at his house, but he wouldn’t let stay away. he would come try to talk to you on your shifts when you couldn’t just walk away with him, or he would come over to your house just to check in on you. Every time you saw him a pang of hurt rung through your heart.

Finally after weeks you began feeling a bit better. You started the long road of getting over your feelings, despite how hard you knew it would be. It may be difficult, but you knew that it would not be worth it to keep pining over a man who loves another woman.

You began seeing him more often again. You would take shifts together, and you even agreed to go on a run with him. Abraham insisted on driving, so you slid into the passenger seat and the two of you took off to look for some supplies.

“So, how’s Rosita?” You asked to kill the silence, trying to hide the bitterness in your tone.

“She’s doing alright, I guess.” He replied, sounding a bit puzzled which made you confused in turn.

“What do you mean you guess?”

“I’m just confused about why you are asking me about Eugene’s girlfriend.”

Your stomach dropped along with your jaw. So that’s why she was over at his house. Eugene and Abraham were housemates. 

“Are you okay Y/N? You’re going to catch flies if you don’t close that pretty mouth.” You blushed and snapped your mouth shut. Then you spun quickly to face him.

“What the hell did you just say?” You sputtered. He chuckled.

“I said you should close that pretty mouth of yours,” he said as he turned to you with affection. “I talked to Eugene about what happened and he realized why you were upset. I just didn’t know how to bring it up to you.”

You were shocked, to say the least.

“Oh.”

“That’s all I get?” He laughed.

“Well what would you like from me then?” You shot back.

“A kiss?” 

And you obliged.

Carl Grimes

After seeing Carl with Enid again, you rushed off back to the house you shared with Carol, the woman who had basically become your adopted mother. You ran up to your room, lying down on your bed as the tears flowed freely.

Carl may not have been your boyfriend, but for months you had what you felt was an unspoken relationship. Everybody else knew it too, but on closer examination you realized it might have just been because you were his only option.

You heard a knock on the door, startling you and making you sit up.

“Mom?” You called out, your voice giving away that you were crying.

“Not quite,” replied the voice. “It’s me.”

You were immediately embarrassed. Surely he would know from your voice that you had been crying. You wiped the tears from your face best you could and ran your fingers through your hair to try and tame it before opening the door. As soon as the door opened, Carl’s face dropped.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, grabbing your face in his hand and caressing your cheek with his thumb. A stray tear fell from your eye and Carl moved to wipe it away. You normally would have blushed, but you felt too bad in the moment to register what he had done.

“I’m alright, Carl,” you tried to tell him. However, your voice cracked and gave you away even more.

“Please Y/N, tell me what’s wrong.”

You took a deep breath. Carl didn’t give up easily, and he always knew when you were lying. You had to tell him.

“It’s just that the guy I like has feelings for someone else.”

Carl felt his chest tighten, guilt forming in his torso. You had tried not to give everything away, but Carl was smart. He knew.

“Y/N, I am so sorry,” he said. You felt the tears begin to stream again so you cut him off.

“Don’t worry about that Carl, I just want you to be happy. It’s okay now that II’m not your last resort.”

“That’s not true!” He yelled. “Please, let me finish,” he begged. you nodded. “I am so sorry that I made you think that. Me and Enid are just friends. You, Y/N,” he said as he caressed your face again, “are the only one I love.”

King Ezekiel

You wished you could hate Carol. Blame her for taking Ezekiel away from you. You just couldn’t bring yourself to it.

Ezekiel was right, she really was something. She was kind but also a bad-ass, and despite her age she was gorgeous. Of course he had fallen for her, what was there not to like?

You were making one of your usual walks with Ezekiel one morning, but you noticed something off about him.

“Are you okay Zeke?” You asked, using your nickname for him. “You’re awfully quiet. You aren’t ever this quiet around me.” He paused before he answered you.

“Do you think I need a queen?”

You froze dead in your tracks at his words. You knew that he had liked her, but you didn’t know it had already progressed to that extent. You tried to respond but you couldn’t form a coherent response.

“It’s just that sometimes it gets lonely. Besides, I need somebody to bounce ideas off of.”

“You already bounce ideas off of me,” you reply. Not only was she taking your man, but also your spot as an unofficial adviser.

“I know, that’s why I want you to be my queen.”

You could have sworn that your heart stopped.

“Well, that and your charm and beautiful looks.”

Yep, it definitely stopped.

“Are you serious?” You asked him, tears forming in your eyes.

“I would never joke about this,” he replied as he gazed into your eyes. “I love you too much to be kidding. I don’t think we should get married yet, per se, but I would like to be able to call you mine.”

You flung yourself into his arms as he instinctively wrapped them around you.

“Of course!” You yelled as he held you tight.

Paul “Jesus” Rovia

It may have been days since his date, but you still felt the pain. It still hurt that Jesus had found somebody, and that that somebody wasn’t you.

The two of you were sitting on the stairs of your small home at the Hilltop, enjoying the warm sunlight and a cool breeze.

You glanced around Hilltop, seeing none other than Marina. You felt a pang of jealousy and hurt flow through you.

“Marina looks pretty great today, doesn’t she?” You asked Jesus bitterly, though hiding your tone.

“Meh,” he said.

“What do you mean, ‘meh’? Shouldn’t you be kinder to your dinner partner?”

Jesus chuckled.

“I don’t know if I would call her my ‘dinner partner’, we’ve only eaten together once and it went rather terribly. It made it hard to concentrate on the meal when I was thinking about someone else,” he said with a glance into your eyes. You heart seemed to skip a beat. “Someone who I’d just gotten back from a run with,” he nearly whispered.

Dwight

You hurried outside, trying to escape the shame and embarrassment. Why had you kissed him like that?

To your surprise, Dwight followed right after you.

“You’re right, Y/N. I miss my ex-wife.”

You felt a twinge of sadness building and growing stronger in your chest.

“But that doesn’t mean I still love her.”

You spun to face hi, confused. He had his hands in his pockets, staring at you sheepishly but also with admiration.

“We were together for years, and I’ll always have those memories. But after what she did, I don’t love her anymore. I can’t. Maybe I just happened to fall in love with the woman who was always there for me, making sure I was okay both physically and mentally after everything went down. The woman who has the most beautiful eyes, who still looks flawless even in the morning when her hair is a mess and she’s wearing an over-sized t-shirt.” He laughed, looking at the ground. “Hell, especially when you’re wearing one of my t-shirts and it swallows you up like that.”

You ran to him, pressing your lips to his again. His hands made their way to your hair and yours snaked around his back. You parted your lips for him, allowing your tongues to dance in your mouth as he made out with you. 

You were so glad that you had kissed him.

Simon

Simon slid into bed behind you, moving to curl up with you. Ever since that night days ago you had been distant.

You felt betrayed. When Simon and the other saviors had first found you, you had been helpless. Hearing him in awe of another woman, who could handle herself with ease, made you feel worthless. You had thought that he loved you for you.

Unbeknownst to you, he didn’t give a damn about this woman. He had no idea how much his words would affect you. Both of you had suffered for days, with you too hurt to talk about it and him to proud to do the same. Finally he’d had enough.

“Pumpkin?” He asked, trying to hold you close. You just shook him off and scooted further away. “Please look at me.”

You wanted to stay stubborn and face away from him, but you couldn’t. Despite your current trouble, you still loved him. You could never say no to a request from him.

“Yes, Simon?”

You were a vision. Looking at Simon with sleepy eyes, he knew he was looking upon the most beautiful girl in the world. In his bed, no less.

“I have something to tell you.”

‘This is it,’ you thought. ‘He has finally decided to choose her over me.’

You nodded, encouraging him to continue.

“I turned Kathy away as soon as she started trying to flirt with me. I maybe said two words to her, and she barely said three sentences to me. I just wanted to make you jealous. I didn’t know it would make you this upset, and I’ve been too proud to admit it to you.”

You looked up at Simon as he confessed to you, offering him a sad smile.

“So you don’t like that she can handle herself?”

“Pumpkin, you don’t need to worry about that at all. You can protect yourself incredibly well, and even then you know I like to be the one protecting you.”

Even though Simon was trying to be sweet, you gave him a playful swat on the chest.

“You jerk!” You yelled at him with a smile. You couldn’t stay mad at him. “Why did you need to make me jealous? I already love you, you fucking idiot!”

Simon just laughed in response, pulling you into his arms.

Merle Dixon

“Y/N,” you heard a gruff voice yell as he knocked on your door. “Let me in! I know you’ve been avoiding me!”

He may have been right, but that doesn’t mean that you wanted to see him. After he started spending more time with Andrea you distanced yourself from him. It was just too painful to see him run off with her at night.

“Merle, just leave me alone!” You yelled back. You heard the doorknob jiggle, thinking nothing of it as he was probably just trying it again in case you had unlocked it. Surprising you, the door flung open to reveal Merle as he stepped inside.

“Don’t forget Sugar, I spent a good portion of my childhood learning some dangerous skills. I can pick locks like nobody’s business.”

You sighed. 

“So you decided to use your ‘dangerous skills’ to break into my house?” You ask him, standing from your spot on the couch to go upstairs, away from Merle.

“I didn’t see another way,” he replied as he looked at you.

“you could have just left me alone,” you muttered.

“That’s just the thing,” he admitted, “I can’t.”

“What?” You question.

“I can’t leave you alone. I’m going crazy not seeing you.”

You felt a wave of hope at his words but quickly pushed it down, the bitterness and jealousy returning.

“Then just go visit Andrea, I’m sure she can help fill your time.” You spat out angrily.

Merle smirked, realizing why you had been so upset and distant. He moseyed over to you, running his thumb over your lips. You may have been pissed at him, but after not seeing him for so long you couldn’t help but melt under his touch.

“I’m using her.” He revealed to you. “She knows where my brother is. I know if I can smooth talk her, she could lead me back to him. I would never dream of doing anything with her though.” He paused to give you a sweet yet passionate kiss on the lips. “I’ve already got the most beautiful, charming, and intelligent woman right here.”

You melted into his arms, allowing yourself to forgive him and love him again. You knew how much his brother meant to him. Besides, now that this was over it was no longer just an assumption that you held, but a fact that Merle liked you back.

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