#I slept full nights and then like few-hour intervals throughout the first couple days of being Sick

[dawnsiren]

Random shoutout to all the times I didn’t go to school for basically a whole week

-Two weeks ago I had both Friday and Tuesday off, went Monday after a snowstorm, crashed through the center of a roundabout with the car (was fine, no injuries or property damage occurred), and went “yeah no fuck this” the rest of the week

-Got…. Idk I think it was mild pneumonia when I was like 12 and

-Like eight months ago in my senior year of hs had what I suspect was a gallstone situation (Had absolutely horrific pain in that general area so bad I could hardly breathe and was dry heaving, went to the ER at like 10pm, waited until 1am and then gave up and went home because I didn’t hurt anymore and was tired) and then spent the next week having what I will respectfully call digestive issues and feeling like shit in a “all but didn’t eat for 3 days due to nausea/lack of appetite and spent most of that time unconscious” way, then a couple more just recovering until I trusted my body to act normally again.

[wenevergotusedtoegypt]

Birth Story

Wanted to get this down before the details fade...

So as has been somewhat documented here, I first started having contractions on Sunday night, 9/22. I had a couple of them 15 minutes apart when I first went to bed, and then a few more during the night. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights I was having them all night and hardly slept, but the interval never became regular and they would slow down significantly during the day.

Thursday morning 9/26 I got up from another virtually sleepless night feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Starting the night before I’d been having difficulty urinating even though I felt like I needed to go (and had consumed enough fluids to need to go), and with the exhaustion and everything that morning, I started freaking out about it. My husband came home from shul a little after 8:00 to me crying. We called the midwives and they said to go into L&D to get checked out because I might need a catheter. At this point I was still having intermittent contractions without any particular pattern to them.

We got to L&D around 9:30-10:00 and my least favorite midwife was the one on call. She put in a catheter and let things drain for a bit. My bladder had been significantly full, but she said it wasn’t as full as she’d expected from feeling the area from the outside. She also did a cervical check and told me that my cervix was still completely closed and far back, and the baby might well not come for another 2 weeks. She wasn’t sure what was causing the urinary issue because she didn’t think the baby’s head was low enough to block anything, and the catheter had gone in too easily for there to be [insert name of urethra problem I forget]. She gave us the options to (a) take the catheter out and go home and see what happened (which she recommended), (b) go home with the catheter in (which she did not recommend due to the UTI risk), (c) get admitted for observation (which she didn’t see any reason for), or (d) get induced (which she didn’t recommend because of my cervix being completely closed). We opted for the first choice. She suggested we make an appointment at the office for the next day to check on things.

We left the hospital just before noon. Before we even got home, while I was waiting for my husband to bring the car around, I started having contractions more like 4-5 minutes apart (I don’t remember whether they were so consistent at that point yet, but they definitely notably picked up).

From there the timeline gets hazy for me, but the contractions kept going. Eventually my husband had my friend who lives in our building come over because I was crying again and saying I couldn’t do it. I remember at a certain point wondering in the back of my mind when we should call the doula and when we should go to the hospital, but being too in my own head to really voice anything. At some point my husband called the doula, but she was with someone else and said she would send a backup. We were waiting and waiting and eventually discovered that the backup doula had been trying to text/call me and was waiting for a response before coming over....like I was checking my phone during active labor. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️My husband got ahold of her and she finally arrived. B”H my friend who was with us, while not a trained doula, has been at other births, but still.

Anyway, this doula arrived and I remember still wondering but not being able to voice when we were going to the hospital because it seemed like the contractions were happening close enough together that we should. At a certain point I realized suddenly that I really needed to go to the bathroom and told everyone that. The doula asked what type and I said both. She said something like, “Ok, with a lot of clients I wouldn’t go to the hospital yet at this point, but it seems like you’re ready to go.” I agreed that I wanted to go. We grabbed what we needed and then a contraction started, so the doula said we’d get through this one and then go to the car. I was half kneeling, half standing with one knee on the couch leaning my hands on the back of the couch, and all of a sudden there was an audible popping sound and a huge gush of fluid. Yep, legit Hollywood-style dramatic water breaking, the kind they tell you probably won’t happen in real life.... So then we really knew it was time to go.

We arrived at the hospital around 7:30pm and at first there were no triage rooms available, so they just had me sitting in a wheelchair in the waiting area probably yelling and/or crying, I don’t totally remember. I guess they decided it was more urgent, because then they pulled me into the not-really-real-triage-room behind the check-in desk. The midwife on call (B”H the shift had changed since last we were there so it wasn’t my least favorite anymore) checked me, and to my shock told me that I was fully dilated and ready to push. I was totally not expecting that at all, especially with the check earlier in the day. Part of why I had kept saying “I can’t do this” over and over again throughout the day was because I was under the impression that I’d also be laboring in the hospital for a while and it would hurt even worse, and it was already hurting so much I couldn’t conceive of that.

I was quickly wheeled into a delivery room on the bed from the triage area and the nurses pulled my clothes off and put on a hospital gown. The doula and my friend came in with me and were there for my whole labor, while my husband was in the room but behind the curtain per our hashkafa. We got into the room about 8:00 and my son was born at 8:32. I remember that at first I was yelling a lot with each push, but the midwife realized that I was inadvertently putting a lot of the strength into my voice instead of the push and told me to try not to make noise while pushing. Once I started doing that things went much faster. I remember near the beginning of pushing the midwife saying she could see the baby’s hair, and I said, “It has hair?!” because I was a total baldy when I was born and I wasn’t expecting that. When he came out they put him on me and we saw he was a boy. I was crying and I asked my husband if he was there and he said yes and I said, “It’s a boy! [Husband], he’s so perfect!” and my husband started sobbing.

Aaaand that’s how I went from not dilated at all to baby in about 8.5-9 hours, or Midwives Are Not Always Right When Hashem Has Other Plans. 😂

[binnsowen]

Assassination Vacation Tour: Review

From the beginning of queuing, to the tiring taxi journey home, the atmosphere around Resorts World was electric. Even from turning up to the surprisingly short line at midday, the weather-battered, homeless-looking groups of fans seemed to still be full of energy, despite clearly looking like they’ve been there since the early hours of the morning. However, as exciting as this day panned out to be, it slowly got less and less exciting as the wait grew more and more. Keeping us outside for an extra 1 and half hours wasn’t the best decision on the staff’s behalf. Nonetheless, as soon as my ticket was scanned and I was in, the excitement I reminisced at the beginning of waiting instantly came flooding back, and the buzz was back in the air. After grabbing food, drinks and any merchandise that took my fancy, then came probably the strangest way of moving to the standing area I’ve ever encountered. The first 100-or-so people in the queue were stamped and given a number on the way in, and these numbered people had to stand in another queue in numerical order. We were then told to walk towards the standing area, in a single file line without pushing, shoving or trying to run to the front. To be honest, I’m surprised we weren’t asked to sit in our rows with our legs crossed and our finger over our lips. It was as if I was back in first school. It also doesn’t do them any favours as we were given a safety brief before the acts came out. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself and ask ‘When has this ever happened at a concert before?’. Despite all of this, I secured my place at the barrier, trying my hardest not to let the girl behind me elbow her way in front of me. It was only then, at this moment in time, that it hit me, at the same time it hit everyone else. The main reason all 15,000 people were there, for one reason and one reason only: to wait a further 3 hours for the supporting act and Tory to finish and go mad when Drake comes out.

Baka was the only supporting act; and despite it wasn’t the largest, he drew in quite the crowd and was the perfect act to hype everyone up for the remaining artists to appear later on in the night. I couldn’t help but feel bad for Baka though. Even though his set was strong and consistent, it didn’t quite have that ‘wow’ factor as any other performer would. And the worst thing? There isn’t anything that he can do as of now that will help that. Because, in terms of concerts, the only way to impress a large audience from the get-go is to be well cemented into the industry, so to speak. As I was looking around the arena, I noticed that almost 3 quarters of the seats weren’t even filled, and simply because nobody cares about who’s on stage at this time. Especially if it is someone that they haven't even heard of, as I could hear a few people from way back in the standing section question who Baka even was. Which goes to show, in hip-hop, the fans are reserved for those who are on top of the game and know how to finesse the business. Which I think, is extremely unfair, but that point is for another time.

After an hour of Baka’s set, then came Tory Lanez. And with him, came along a lot more hype and anticipation. This point in the night is where the butterflies in your belly begin to shake violently with excitement, as a 5 foot 7 inch Canadian darts around the stage screaming into a microphone, dressed in a varsity jacket, skinny jeans and high top vans. Lanez’s music never fails to get you into that high-school-party, drunk-and-high-at-the-same-time, I-think-I-can-sing-esque mood, and this mood only heightens when you see him perform live. Girls were going crazy for him singing about the birds that he’s slept with on songs like LUV, Say it and recently released Freaky, and the lads were waiting for the mosh-pit bangers to come such as Shooters, Litty and Ferris Wheel. So his performance was unsurprisingly diverse, and could appeal to any listener. And with the addition of Baka before hand, it was strategic placing them together as Tory supported the hype that Baka had created perfectly. The best thing however, was the fact the security has to literally pick him up and throw him back on the stage after he’d been for a spot of crowd surfing. I was creasing at the fact that he could've probably jumped back up, but it was as if they threw him back up just to take the mick. His set then came to a close, and then came the final interval of the evening, with nobody else to perform other than the man of the hour, or 7 hours in this instance.

After about 30 minutes of standing around, the interval music came to a stop and the lights began to dim. This alone was enough to send the audience into hysterics, as they screamed at the top of their lungs recording nothing but an empty stage. But the stage wasn’t empty for long, however it wasn’t filled with a bearded rapper from Toronto, it was filled with a square curtain covering the entire stage floor being lowered from the ceiling. When it hit the floor, images of palm trees, coconuts and hula girls were vibrantly projected onto the curtain and the theme music to Austin Powers was played. At this moment, I wondered whether or not I was at the show. I was looking around to see if people were as confused as I was, but they all seemed to be hypnotised by the silhouettes of a horny spy. But as the projections disappeared, there happened to be somebody behind the curtain. Somebody tall, in a Louis Vuitton assault vest, holding a microphone. Seeing this outline made the crowd even more hysterical. It was at this moment that the introduction of 8 out of 10 began playing, and then the figure came to life, rapping along to it. Because I was stood at the barrier, I could see slightly through the curtain and could easily tell that the figure was Drake, if it wasn’t obvious enough. After the first verse ended, the curtain was raised to reveal the 6 God himself, live in the flesh. A part of me couldn’t believe it. That was the real Drake, stood a couple of meters in front of me. And as his performance went on, it wasn’t settling in any more.

Drake’s live performances are a priceless experience. From the clever use of pyrotechnics to the talented back up dancers that accompanied him on stage, you can clearly tell that Drake is at his best when he is on stage. Despite this, it pains me to admit that I felt his show was rushed and disorganised. Some songs were left unfinished, which was a shame because the older Drake songs on the set list (arguably his best era) were played for about 10 seconds each. To rub salt in the wound, they were all played with no breaks or intermission between each other. So in a sense, there was no real point in playing them at all. It was almost as if he had somewhere much better to be than there. Because of this, I found it hard at times to engage with him and with what he was doing, even though I desperately wanted to. Nevertheless, he still managed to put out an exceptional performance of his recent music. The transitions between certain tracks were executed smoothly, and his delivery of them were executed even more so. I really managed to notice the diversity of Drake as an artist whilst watching him, which is a skill I see many other rappers attempt but fail. He can easily perform a song such as Jumpman with the expected energy and charisma, and then manage to calm himself and the arena down with a soft and soppy performance of Peak. He can have any audience on strings and is in complete control of how they act and feel throughout his performance. To obtain this skill to such a degree is something that no other musician has, which is one of the many reasons that Drake is the best performer out of today’s generation of rappers; and probably the best rapper out of them too. But again, that’s for another time.

To summarise, Baka and Tory Lanez hyped the night up perfectly; no other 2 acts could’ve done it better. However, Drake could’ve handled that hype a little bit better and his delivery of certain songs could’ve been a bit more consistent. But this slight criticism doesn’t diminish his performance in any way, shape or form: it was a quality show. Was it worth going? Absolutely. Was it worth £120 and a 7 hour wait? Absolutely not. I cannot recommend going to any Drake concert enough. It is an experience that cannot be matched by any other artist simply because of how much of a natural born performer he really is. But my only piece of advice would be to choose wisely. If you’re going to pay that much and wait that long, go to Canada and see him there. I feel as if it would've been worth that much if there was some sort of after party to go to, or some form of exclusives included in the ticket price. Whether that be merch or a smaller show or whatever, it just wasn’t quite £120 material. But one thing is for certain, I look forward to the release of Drake’s next album that he said he would be working on as soon as the Assassination Vacation is over. So if he was to rush the next 11 shows, I wouldn't mind at all.  

[sleeplesssecrets]

oh my god i don’t even know how to start writing any more i am so unbelievably out of practice. im going to try to be loose like i know i used to be when i wrote on here originally. i had a haircut yesterday, i spent all day at the salon in the store i used to work at. my old manager asked me when im going to be coming back and i would like to i think. i like having a full time job and i like being paid for my full time job and i like buying things with my money on a whim and being able to pay off credit cards and buying things for my daughter and buying things i never could buy for her as a baby but can now buy for my son. my son. my baby boy that i gave literal birth to. wild. i hold him and he’s my baby and he’s a boy. it’s so weird and great. before i went back to work after having him i spent collective hours crying over not wanting to work ever at all. holding him is everything, clothing him and feeding him is everything, cleaning up for him and folding laundry for him is everything. my daughter is my everything too i hope that goes without saying. i feel like i have to say it with him, that hes my everything, because it doesn’t feel as obvious. im clocked in forty hours a week now, forty little hours with long generous breaks to nurse him throughout the day at my work from home job where i wear pajamas and no bra and make a living wage, answering phones to people with real problems i get to help them solve or understand. i like my job technically, i like it a lot, i feel important and helpful. i dont get up early and get ready or even dressed and have to go out in the cold to an office. i am very lucky to be a mom of a two month old whose desk and bassinet are in the same room. but i dont want to clock in. i do not want to. i want to cuddle my baby boy, only cuddle him. i want to wash him in the tub and put lotion on him. i want to play with him and teach him how to reach and grab toys. i have been experiencing this thing where when my milk lets down, it causes a drop in dopamine and it makes me feel actually depressed for about a minute while im feeding him or while he’s napping and my milk comes down randomly. i had no idea what depression was before. and i still dont because the feeling is very fleeting. i had no idea you could feel depressed. like feel it physically. i feel it in my hands. i feel it in my eyes. i feel it in my gut. it doesnt wash over me like anti depressant commercials portray, it is me. when i experienced it and noticed it for the first time it absolutely threw me. i am not exaggerating when i say it stopped me in my tracks. i stopped walking and i had to stare off and everything was not ok. not a single thing felt right. i was grabbing something for my husband and it didnt feel right. i was walking to the other side of the room and it didnt feel right. the time of day didn’t feel right. when it happens, whatever im thinking about will be suddenly very very sad. and im usually thinking about anything at all lmao. if you dont know, milk let down reflex happens at specific times in between feedings if you’ve started to feed your baby at regular intervals, but it can also happen when you think about your baby or hear a baby. so sometimes im thinking about him, my baby boy, and my milk will let down, and then i get depressed about thinking about him. and it hits so much harder than anything ive ever been hit with in my life. it knocks the wind out of me worse than falling down wooden stairs. it stings worse than having a door shut on my fingers. i am aware of it, so i know its happening when it happens, which does help. i can swipe the thoughts away if im quick enough to notice. but the worst has been when ive been feeling depressed like this when my milk didnt let down. when im literally just sad and irritable and dont want to be looked at. i feel like i can feel people thinking about me and it bothers me when im feeling this way. i want to be left alone and i only ever see a handful of people any more. i was holding him today and feeling this way and i cried on his clothes. he recognizes faces and will smile when you smile at him. today he saw me crying over him and he frowned a little. i apologized and and cuddled him and we smiled together. i put him over my shoulder and i started crying again. it hurts so much, it hurts so so much, its the worst feeling i have ever felt. i had no idea what depression was like at all. and if this is only a little fleeting feeling i get every now and again and it is this crushing, i can not imagine what people who have depression more often must feel like. when i think back on how my mom spent all day in bed when she wasnt working, i can kind of understand it now. i used to hate that she would wake up, work, and sleep again. she used to do all sorts of things, like read, play card games online, highlight her bible, print recipes and organize them in a binder. then slowly she stopped doing those things and worked and slept. she would work occasionally from home, transcribing her boss’s voice-recorded notes into word documents. it took her a couple hours every night to do and i thought it was so cool she got paid for working at home at a computer, i used to think it would be so fun and cute and easy. i didnt know why she was so quick to snap, why she wouldnt want to cook dinner, why she didn’t change out of her clothes before bed. i now sort of kind of get it. i literally dont ever cry. my mom will tell you that she knows im hurting if im crying. i might cry emotionally a few times a year, and i will cry if im in a lot of physical pain. now i cry most days out of the week. it does not get easier. every morning after i feed him and put him down for a nap before clocking in, it’s no easier than the day before. its the worst good bye every time. the first day back to work was rough, i cried as i placed him in his newborn boppy and tucked a blanket around him. my husband gave me a wholesome ‘we got this babe’. when he asked me how my day was after clocking out, i was not lying when i said it was the worst ever. i know i pretty much have the dream job as a working mom. i knoooooow. but i hate it. 

[iraqairbus35-blog]

Thoughts on Fatherhood

A post by Daniel

I’m writing this in a dark room while I stare at the baby monitor. James is sleeping a few feet away and requires swift intervention if he wakes. If you miss that ten-second window, you could be in for hours of soothing, feeding, swaying, and rocking. I watch every sigh, shift, and fidget with intense anxiety. I legitimately think I have PTSD from the night shift and just a glance at the monitor sends a shiver down my spine. I spend over a third of my day watching another person sleep. And somehow, I’ve never been happier.

I know that might sound like a phony parenting platitude and I guess it is. It isn’t exactly happiness I feel. It’s more like there is more substance to my life. It has more meaning. Adding a child to a couple makes it feel like a family. There are moments of happiness like when I wake up and beeline to find him to get my morning smile. Or when he can’t fall asleep because he can’t stop smiling and cooing at me in the dark as I rock him. Or when I hear Andrea in the other room singing him some ridiculous song about changing diapers.

The Transition

Caring for an infant isn’t especially difficult. What you need to do is pretty straightforward. The difficult part is thinking about how you have to do it all the time, every day, for as far as you can imagine into the future. Dealing with the loss of your old child-free life makes transitioning so hard. Even harder for me, someone who avoided obligations for most of my life.

The transition was rough. I spent most of life seeking the path of least resistance. I picked my college class schedule mostly on the basis of having four-day weekends. I sought a career where I would never have to wake up with an alarm clock. For the past 10 years, I have slept eight or more hours probably 95% of the time. And now I find myself with a permanent alarm clock that is bio-engineered to induce intense stress in human ears and goes off at randomized intervals throughout the night.

the day James was born

The Beginning

The first few weeks were especially challenging. James wasn’t getting enough to eat and would cry constantly. I was getting little sleep and Andrea was getting almost none. Once we switched to formula things got better, but it was still difficult. When Andrea was breastfeeding, I felt useless. I’d change diapers and try to soothe him so she could sleep a little but honestly he just constantly wanted to eat. So I’d just stare at this crying infant who was rooting and I would apologize to him for not being able to give him what he needed. When we began bottle feeding, I had to step up and be a full partner in childcare.

The first month after that was still pretty tough for me. I loved him right away in the sense that he was this sweet little baby who I wanted to make happy. But I didn’t feel completely bonded to him (even though he initially looked like a 1/20th scale version of me). I think it’s because a newborn is a completely one way street. You pour all of your love, time, and attention into him and he can’t give you anything back. But once he started smiling and cooing at me, I fell completely in love. As frustrating as it can be carrying a crying baby over to the changing table at 4am, that little smile in the dark after he hears my voice makes all of the frustration instantly melt away.

We got incredibly lucky. James is the happiest, sweetest, smiliest little guy. He rarely cries and is never inconsolable. Our only major issue is sleep. He will go to sleep fairly easily but once he wakes after a sleep cycle, he usually needs someone there. We take turns holding him for naps to make sure he gets enough and at night I just stand by on call. He is starting to string together some 3-4 hour stretches so hopefully we can keep improving on that as he gets older. I think we will start looking into sleep training at 4+ months if he is still having a lot of difficulty. If anyone has experience with sleep training methods that worked feel free to share in the comments.

The Schedule

For a while we had a loose schedule but it wasn’t quite working. Andrea was jumping in and doing everything to spare me and then was resentful later. It wasn’t until we drilled down a really specific and clearly defined schedule that things got better.

We have figured out a system that works for us. Writing it out seems a little convoluted but it’s been going really well. We each do about 8 hours a day where we are solely responsible for him. I am a night owl so I take the night shift 830p-430a and she takes over before dawn as I go to bed. I do a few hours in the afternoon so she can get a break 4 days a week and she gives me an entire day off once a week. We do the evening routine together. He sits in his swing as we cook and eat dinner. He loves just staring at Andrea as she eats. Then we give him a bath, swaddle him, feed him, and read him a story. He falls asleep really easily but has trouble staying asleep, so I stand guard most of the night to slip the pacifier back in, rock him, or give him his night feeds.

Thoughts

I find the day-to-day existence of caring for a newborn incredibly exhausting but I’m getting more used to it every day. I am so looking forward to the future, even the short term future when he can just play and interact with us more, but especially the long term, when I can talk and play with him, we can do things as a family, and help guide him through childhood. For now though, I’m just so happy to be his dad.

Source: http://www.andiemitchell.com/thoughts-on-fatherhood/

[lotsofdogs]

Sleep Training After the 4 Month Sleep Regression

I had low expectations for sleep after Ryder was born. L-O-W. Chase was never a good sleeper and, couple that with the fact that his small 5 pound 10 ounce size had us following doctor’s orders and setting alarms to wake him up every 2 hours to feed all throughout the day and night, sleep was pretty horrible for months and months after Chase was born.

We had little glimmers of hope here and there with a few weeks of good sleep peppered in but eventually I just threw in the towel and embraced the fact that Chase was going to be up in the night. I truly wouldn’t say he officially slept through the night consistently until we weaned and I stopped nursing him at 15 months.

For those who might be in a similar boat with a child over one year old, there IS hope! Chase is a great sleeper now and rarely wakes in the night. So everything I read about how important it is to establish consistent, long stretches of uninterrupted sleep for infants now makes me think — yeah, that’s probably fabulous and admittedly preferred, but if it’s not working for you or your baby, it will be okay. Your child won’t be ruined forever.

With Ryder, things instantly felt different. He was bigger at birth — 7 pounds, 7 ounces — and in general just seemed to be a better sleeper and a more laid back baby. Almost immediately, we had longer stretches of sleep and I’d find myself awake in the night starring at him shocked that he wasn’t awake because I was anticipating consistent nighttime feeds for months on end.

By the time he was 2-3 months old, Ryder was often waking only one time in the night to nurse and I was thanking my lucky stars for a “good sleeper.” I thought we lucked out and would coast through dropping his one remaining nighttime feed when the time was right.

And then the four month sleep regression hit. And it hit us HARD.

Seemingly overnight, Ryder was up at least three, often four, times a night. At first I thought it was just a fluke but then weeks passed by and I was still feeding him on demand and nursing him every 2-3 hours at night. It was BRUTAL and after two months of this, something needed to change. My mom instincts told me he was more than capable of longer stretches of sleep because we’d seen him do it before. He was growing and gaining weight but his new middle-of-the-night snacks meant that his daytime feeds were becoming more much shorter and snack-like, too. I felt like for both his sake and my sanity, we needed to work to getting him back to longer stretches of sleep.

The Gentle Cry-It-Out Method

This time, unlike with Chase, I didn’t read a bazillion sleep books that made me feel horrible about my baby. I had a general idea of what I wanted to do with Ryder when it came to sleep training. I didn’t fear letting him cry in his crib a bit but I also didn’t want to let him wail in his crib for hours on end. Then, during a media visit to Great Wolf Lodge, I met Lexi from the blog Glitter, Inc. She was so bubbly and friendly and I found myself spending a little too much time on her blog after we met because it was gorgeous and her upbeat personality was evident in her posts. And that’s when I stumbled upon her post about the Gentle Cry-It-Out Method. It was a method she learned about after a phone call consultation with her husband’s friend — a neurologist who specializes in pediatric sleep — and it sounded PERFECT!

A quick note: In Lexi’s blog post about the Gentle Cry-It-Out Method, she mentions implementing a sleep schedule during the day and then focuses on eliminating nighttime wake-ups. I really only followed the part about eliminating nighttime wake-ups because creating a sleep schedule for Ryder during the day is just a little complicated with Chase in the mix. I hope to establish some kind of a pattern when it comes to Ryder’s daytime naps but right now he’s a pretty good on-the-go napper and I don’t want to mess with that!

Also, if the Gentle Cry-It-Out Method interests you, PLEASE read Lexi’s post. It’s incredibly thorough and I’m only sharing a rough highlight of how we used it in our house in a way that worked for us. Lexi’s post has a lot more information so just consider this my super-short summary of what worked for our 6-month-old and how we applied aspects of the Gentle Cry-It-Out Method to our sleep training experience.

Here’s a brief overview of the way we implemented the Gentle Cry-It-Out Method to eliminate nighttime wake-ups with Ryder:

Watch for signs of sleepiness. These are very, very obvious with Ryder. Since he’s generally not a fussy baby, when he gets fussy, he’s usually either hungry or sleepy. At the end of the day, it’s both… and it’s time for bed!

Eliminate all distractions. This means heading up to Ryder’s nursery for a diaper change with the blinds pulled and lights low. I change and nurse Ryder with only the soft glow of the salt lamp in his nursery.

(Note: The blanket you see hanging off the crib was just there for decor purposes when I took pics of Ryder’s nursery before he was born. He sleeps in a crib free of anything other than his Wubbanubs.) 

Put Ryder in his sleep suit. The Magic Merlin Sleepsuit is a lifesaver and it seems to instantly calm Ryder down. I worried it wasn’t going to work for Ryder (it was crucial for sleep for Chase!) but I think that when I initially tried putting Ryder in it, he was a little too young. I waited a month and then tried again and it worked like a charm for transitioning out of the swaddle and calming Ryder before and during sleep. (Note: The sleepsuit is not specifically part of the GCIO method but it is critical for us so I had to include it! They mention swaddling or whatever works for your baby’s sleep.)

Turn on white noise machine. This is another big-time MUST for Ryder’s sleep. His white noise machine seems to help him relax and, as a bonus, it covers up random household noises that might wake him up in the night (Sadie barking, the heat coming on, etc.).

Nurse Ryder and put him in his crib drowsy but not fully asleep. Thankfully this wasn’t a big change for us, as I’ve been doing this since Ryder was a teeny baby. I still always try to put him in his crib before he’s completely zonked out.

Give Ryder a pacifier, gently place my hand on his belly, say “shhhh” over and over again as I walk out the door. Note: When I say “give Ryder a pacifier,” what I really mean is “give Ryder a pacifier and surround him with three more pacifiers” before I walk out the door. Wubbanubs/pacifiers are KEY for Ryder’s self-soothing abilities right now and I want one to be within his reach at all times if possible.

Follow the Gently Cry-It-Out timeline for checking on Ryder if crying begins. Here’s where the “sleep training” aspect of the Gentle Cry-It-Out method kicks in. See below!

As noted by Lexi in her words, here’s the timeline for checking on baby if implementing the Gentle Cry-It-Out method:

If baby cries, set an alarm on your phone for 5 minutes and stand and wait just outside of the door. The first few nights, they will, in all likelihood, cry for a full 5 minutes. Let baby cry for a full five minutes. (It will seem much longer, but remember, it’s just 5 minutes.)

When your phone alarm alerts you that 5 minutes have passed, quietly go into the room, put your hand on baby’s chest, and in a soft soothing voice comfort them. If they use a pacifier, give it to them, and then quietly walk out of the room again.

Set your alarm for another 5 minutes. When the alarm sounds, and if baby is still crying, go in again and repeat the above. At no point should you pick up the baby, feed the baby, etc. I KNOW it’s hard. The first few nights, I myself stand outside our baby’s door and tear up myself. It’s brutal, and I hate it. But do you know what happens after that second 5-minute interval? Baby falls asleep. Sometimes it takes a third visit. At that point, set your alarm for 10 minutes, and ONLY go in after 10 minutes if baby is still crying.

Repeat this process for as long as baby cries, extending the time you leave baby alone by about five minutes each time until he or she falls asleep. Repeat the same exact process on the second night, and again on the third.

Our sleep training coincided with transferring Ryder into his crib for the first time. I am not sure whether this is ideal or not, but I wanted to establish Ryder’s crib as a place for sleep and — hopefully — GOOD sleep from day one. We followed all of the above bullet points as we attempted both the crib transfer and sleep training at once.

Here’s a five-day timeline of what the Gentle Cry-It-Out Method looked like for us:

NIGHT ONE

As I anticipated, this was our roughest night by far. I nursed Ryder and put him in his crib drowsy but not asleep. I’ve been doing this from day one with Ryder, so I wasn’t anticipating too much fussiness as he drifted off to sleep. He fell asleep fairly easily but, like clockwork, he woke up crying at 10 p.m. for what would’ve been his first feed of the night. As noted in the Gentle Cry-It-Out method, I let him cry for 5 minutes before going into his room giving him his pacifier, placing my hand on his chest and quietly walking out of his room.

I feel fortunate that Ryder seems to be an “intermittent crier.” I’m not sure if that’s a thing or not but he never really seems to wail and wail non-stop. He’ll often cry but his cries almost always hit a peak and then taper off which makes it a little easier on my mama heart when it comes to staying out of his room when he begins to cry. (Basically when his cries taper off, I am given a little glimmer of hope that they might stop altogether!)

On night one, Ryder woke up at 10 p.m. and needed his pacifier replaced twice before falling back asleep. (I followed the five minute timeline each time before replacing his pacifier.) Ryder woke up again around midnight and that’s when the fun began. We spent the next two hours playing paci-pong, setting timers and going back into his room to replace his pacifier in 5, 10, 15 and 20-minute intervals. I never stayed out of his room for more than 20 minutes but didn’t really need to because eventually he fell asleep. It was almost like he was crying then resting then crying briefly again before sleeping. (Again, he seems to be an “intermittent crier” and never really wails and wails.) Ryder was never crying for long stretches during any of the paci-pong stage but I was awake the whole time and it was pretty hands-on as I set timers and replaced his pacifier at the designated intervals.

After finally falling into a deeper sleep at 2 a.m., Ryder was up again at 4 a.m. for another two rounds of paci-pong and I went in to replace his pacifier twice after five minutes. This happened again at 5:30 a.m. And then he was eventually up for the day.

In the morning, I walked into Ryder’s room to find a smiling, happy baby which was wonderful. (He wasn’t even crying for me to come in… just peacefully playing with his Wubbanub!) Ryder ate like a champ in the morning which was also fantastic since his morning feeds were becoming really short and snack-like prior to sleep training thanks to his middle-of-the-night snack sessions.My breasts were hard as rocks and felt like they were going to explode and I’m pretty sure I was more pumped for our morning nursing session than Ryder!

So, in summary, our first night was a rough night for sure but I felt like I saw small progress after the long round of paci-pong at midnight when he seemed to take his paci and go back to sleep much faster at his 4 a.m. and 5:30 a.m. wake ups. I already believed we were on our way to better sleep!

NIGHT TWO

Night two marked a little bit of progress but began on a rough note. Ryder made it until 11 p.m. before crying — one hour later than the previous night — but spent the next 90 minutes crying on and off as I set timers and went in and out of his room replacing his pacifier at the designated timed intervals. He woke up again around 4 a.m. and I replaced his paci twice but then he didn’t wake up until 7 a.m. when he was ready for his morning feed. Since he already missed one of his usual wake up times, this felt like MAJOR progress and I began to really trust that the Gently Cry-It-Out Method of timed intervals would work for us. I was honestly shocked night two went as well as it did after a pretty intense first night.

NIGHT THREE

Night three looked a lot like night two but the crying time decreased dramatically which felt like another major victory! Ryder was up twice but both times I only needed to replace his pacifier one time before he fell asleep. HUGE progress!

NIGHT FOUR

Night four Ryder woke up a few times and each time he fussed a little bit but fairly quickly found his pacifier and put it back in his mouth himself and went back to sleep almost immediately. On night four, I never had to go into his room and I was pretty darn psyched after this night!

NIGHT FIVE

Night five was a great one. It looked like night four but with even less wake-ups for Ryder. This is the night that I truly felt like I could say Ryder officially “slept through the night” which felt incredible.

What Nighttime Sleep Currently Looks Like Over Here: One Month Later

We’re just under one month into our sleep training experience and I figured a little update about how sleep currently looks might be of interest. Once we implemented the Gentle Cry-It-Out method for nighttime sleep, we seemed to coast through nighttime sleep for a couple of weeks. I was convinced everything would be derailed when we traveled to Florida for Christmas, but Ryder shocked us by sleeping through the night every single night. It was incredible and I was so thankful! And yes, I packed all of his baby sleep essentials — noise machine, sleep suit and FIVE Wubbanubs! I wasn’t taking any chances!

Since then, we’ve had a few rough nights but, for the most part, nighttime sleep is going much, much better. Ryder seems to be able to self-soothe with the help of his pacifier almost every night buuut there have been a few nights where I’ve gone in to nurse Ryder and have picked him up to soothe him because something seemed off. The one major hiccup we’ve had with nighttime sleep occurred last week and seemed to coincide with Ryder’s first tooth coming in.

There have also been two instances where I’ve felt like we had to almost re-train Ryder to sleep and both of these happened the night after I had previously nursed him or picked him up the night before. Clearly he remembers!!! But, the good news is, it usually only takes one semi-rough night for us to get back on track with decent sleep. Phew!

Why I Think This Method Was Successful For Us

I am not over here claiming Ryder’s nighttime sleep will be permanently fantastic from here on out. I know enough by now to know that baby sleep ebbs and flows and can be a rollercoaster. (I was convinced we had Chase mostly “sleep trained” at 6 months and then we had major regression. It is what it is.)

I attribute most of the success we’ve had with this method with Ryder’s age. I knew I needed him to be old enough to replace his pacifier himself before we started sleep training because that’s definitely his preferred method of self-soothing. Without his pacifier, I believe crying would’ve lasted a lot longer and would have been a lot harder for me personally to handle.

(Side note: If you’re looking for a baby monitor with multiple camera compatibility, we are loving our Infant Optics monitor. When I asked for monitor recs on Instagram, the Infant Optics camera was by far the most recommended and we’ve been really happy with it. The monitor cycles through the cameras in Chase’s room and Ryder’s room every 12 seconds and can work with up to four camera.)

Also, I waited until Ryder was nearly six months old to start sleep training for another important reason: I wasn’t personally ready to start sleep training until he was six months old. Could we have started sooner? Probably. I read all the time about kids who consistently sleep through the night much earlier but I wasn’t ready to move Ryder into his crib let alone begin sleep training until he was nearly six months old. I know some people tackle baby sleep much sooner and some much later. Different methods and timelines work for different babies and that’s awesome. Everything related to babies seems to vary so much kid to kid so knowing your child and knowing yourself is key!

And that’s my very long-winded way of catching you guys up on our latest sleep training experience! If you have any questions about something I may have missed or something you’d like me to dive into a little deeper, definitely let me know below!

[Read More ...] https://www.pbfingers.com/sleep-training-after-the-4-month-sleep-regression/