#I skipped 3-4 big scenes

[backpackingspace]

Hey s1 au where will gets a second opinion and does not connect the dots to serial murder and just thinks hannibal is another unethical doctor wanting only to study him. This ends up alienating him from hannibal, Alana (dr. Lecter after is her friend her recommendation), and jack (did he know? Will can't be sure)

[dudeshusband]

i think they were trying to show pete as a greedy, swindling jerk but they never commit to it. this just makes the viewer confused what everybody is mad at him about

[nanowrimo]

4 Tips for Autistic Writers

Autistic writers can face unique challenges when it comes to writing. NaNo Participant Auden Halligan has tips to handle some of those challenges!

So, you’ve just sat down at your desk, all ready to work on your next chapter, but you just can’t seem to start. Something is itching at your brain, and no matter how hard you think, you can’t figure it out. For autistic writers, that itch might be even harder to get around when compounded with autistic inertia, introspection issues, and sensory processing disorder — even if we were super excited to get started, sometimes the stumbling blocks are enough to keep us from going anywhere at all.

Here are four tips to identify your struggles and work around them rather than against them as an autistic writer!

1. Schedule your writing time appropriately

While keeping a schedule can help you stave off unwanted change in your routine, the need to switch to another task when the clock strikes the hour sometimes feels like a monumental task, one that eventually becomes detrimental to your creative pursuits.

If switching tasks is the biggest hurdle to your writing, setting a designated writing time with no other plans around it could do the trick. Oftentimes, just one hour of time to transition from doing dishes to sitting down at your computer to write is exactly what you need to get past that point and find your writing headspace.

2. Make sure your sensory environment is right

Sometimes getting into that writing headspace is harder than normal, but you can’t put your finger on a reason. Chances are, you’re not quite ready until you have your sensory needs met and you can fully focus on your story.

Personally, I like to be on the couch with my water bottle, a playlist at just the right volume, and a comfortable jacket or hoodie on. For you, the ideal sensory space might involve a desk and a snack, a pet nearby, and a quiet room. For others, it could be outside or even at a library or coffee shop. Autistic people are all different and so are their sensory needs, so this one is super subjective — do what works best for you!

3. Take breaks often

Writing can be exhausting, and if you’re struggling to keep going, you might need to take a pause. If you’re like me and struggle with remembering to hydrate and eat once you’re deep in a task, use your break to get some water and a snack. If you’re having trouble staying focused, get up and move around and stim or go outside to give your brain a reset. If you feel like you’ve gotten some good progress done, however small, reward yourself — do something related to your special interest, dance with a pet, and celebrate your little (or big!) win!

The pomodoro method is a good way to keep yourself from working too long without a break, and if that doesn’t work for you, methods like the Eisenhower method with breaks interspersed and even simply inserting breaks into your scheduled writing time are just as valid.

4. Don’t be afraid to skip around

Another thing that often trips us autistic people up is needing to follow the story down its natural progression, from start to middle all the way to the finish. But inevitably, once we’ve gotten past the initial excitement of having the project started, we hit a stumbling block…and the project gets abandoned. I’ve left behind countless projects because I lost interest after hitting a scene I wasn’t excited for after just a few chapters.

To combat this, try writing out of order! Skip ahead to the scene directly after your stumbling block. You could also skip to the next scene your favorite character is in or even to the climax if it helps you move forward. If you’re having trouble putting your first words down, try writing a random scene in the middle of your story to get into the groove of writing your characters.

Alternately, if you can’t abide by the out of order method and really need to get your characters from Point A to Point B, try putting the scene you’re stuck on in brackets. For example:

[Character 1 and Character 2 fight over the decision to kick Character 3 off the team. 2 leaves in anger.]

It’s simple, efficient, and gets you out of that particular rut so you can keep moving toward that sweet, sweet conversation you’ve wanted to write since Day 1.

Now go forth and write, my friends!

Auden Halligan is a creator through and through. She’s been writing her entire life, but didn’t start participating in NaNoWriMo until 2017–right now she’s working on developing a TV series (or two!) and has several novels and short films in the drafting phase. Auden is currently a college student studying film production and hoping to minor in disability studies. You can find her on her very sparse Twitter at ink.and.spite. Photo by Lisa Fotios from Pexels

If you’re an autistic writer, check out the Pillow Fort in the NaNoWriMo forums! It’s a group for people who are neurodivergent, have disabilities, mental health concerns, or physical challenges that affect their lives.

[hazelfoureyes]

The Radio Demon Fucks a Human Sacrifice (epilogue)

Mom gets fitted for dentures next week 🎊 🎉 🦷 💝

Epilogue (Promises)

You had meant it when you said it so long ago. A promise. One you intended to keep

「Warnings/Promises: Alastor x Fem Reader, Valentino x Fem reader (just TRUST ME), nipple chain, Val exists too much, Kaiju cock, pussy wet??, aphrodisiac, Alastor shade, fanatic sinners, misleading porno covers, Angel Dust is perfect as always, blood, stabbing, filming sexy things, Val in a thong, licking, hair pulling, why bad man have big dick, Alastor isn’t horny but he is possessive, pussy in the ether」

Part 1 smut 💦 Part 2 smut 💦 Side Story Part 3 smut 💦 Part 4 smut💦 Epilogue sexual

***Spoiler for people that need Val warnings*** Val dick touches reader pussy. Val explicit scenes are purple. if you skip the purple parts you will still understand the story and still be in the scene, interacting with him. Reminder, reader is there intentionally and consenting.

minors omg look over there! (🏃‍♀️💨Dni)

“I will admit, I was surprised to get your message.” Val exhaled, one hip out as he rest his weight on his right foot. You hadn’t planned on seeing him again, but as you became comfortable in hell you found yourself remembering the promise to yourself. One you made that day you met Alastor. On the floor of that studio. Your eyes scanned the room. The space was different, the set no longer your cursed cabin scene.  “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

You took a deep breath, you’d practiced this, “Well I’ve been in hell for a while now… and I see you everywhere. I’ve been thinking,” your eyes caught on the door you were confident led to the room that held you. To the bed. Another shaky exhale, you never were much of an actress. “I really missed my chance with you. A powerful overlord… a celebrity.”

A dark chuckle from the moth, his ego fluttering, “Ooh, you’re a little celebrity in your own right. My best seller in ages.”

Oh, right. The tape. You hadn’t watched it yet. Alastor set the VHS copy on the bookshelf, an agreement made you could revisit that memory together if you ever wanted to. Not that you hadn’t heard it before. Nearly two years after its release and still people played it in public. Your first visit to Rosie started with you red faced and sputtering, having had someone on the way there thrust a DVD in front of you. 

The stranger asked for an autograph, but as soon as you saw the cover photo the entire thing had been knocked into the street by Alastor’s microphone. He had been trying to shelter you from interacting too much with the movie.

“Was that—is the cover—?” You were frozen as the sinner ran off, mind trying to process the image.

Alastor hummed, “Not what I’d choose, but I signed away all rights when I made the deal. A little misleading of a photo if you ask me.” He watched with glee as a car pulverized the disc and case. 

A blood red demonic seal splattered with a white liquid and a slender hand scraping into the wood.

“But that’s the Vees for you!”

Indeed, that was the Vees. Val gestured at you with his cigarette and its dramatic holder, “Aren’t you still with the radio demon? Not that I care.” He took a few steps towards you, getting you into arm’s reach before grabbing you by the back of the head and pulling you into him, “Just cuz there's a goalie doesn’t mean I can’t score.”

With how your head was angled back as he had your hair tightly wound in his fist you could see the TV. Always Vox News, you assumed. The time was displayed in the corner. “I am but— he doesn’t, ya know… he doesn’t know I’m here. But he’ll be looking for me soon.”

He stared down at you, pupil-less eyes without emotion. Your scalp began to burn and after a few seconds you had to shift your weight to relieve some of the pull. It made your upper stomach rub against his crotch. Not at all your intention. But you knew you’d have to touch him eventually.

“Unfortunately for you, I don’t do shit at anyone else’s speed.” His hand released your hair, “Could be fun though…,” Valentino traced along your jaw with his tongue before squeezing your cheeks in his hand, “fucking Alastor’s woman.”

He was off you as quickly as he had pounced, makeshift jacket swirling behind him as he spun around and walked to the door you’d seen before.

Another glance at the television. You had 10 minutes before Alastor would be calling. A small panic that you didn’t have enough time. 

Alastor rarely called on you, because rarely were you very far away. He didn’t have you on a leash, you just enjoyed his company. You’d scroll on your phone while he worked in his radio station  or read a book while he enjoyed his breakfast in the morning. 

Also, well, going out alone could be intimidating. People swung from two extremes when they saw you— excited fan or terrified sinner. 

The fans knew you were with Alastor. 

The other sinners knew you were with Alastor. 

The DVD incident had spooked you, not helped by the fact it had been your first outing. Alastor had been eager, even if he didn’t say it, to introduce you to the cannibal overlord. 

Having you back in his presence brought a deep seated sense of calm to him, one best compared to the feeling he had when gossiping with Rosie over coffee. Naturally he wanted his closest friend to meet the soul who’d stolen his attention. And Rosie was delighted to meet you, evident with the extravagant tea (and a singular coffee)  she set up and her litany of questions.

But every time she asked something she also seemed to answer it herself.

“Are you happy to be together again in your body?! I’m sure you are.” She offered you a finger you had to decline. 

“I bet you two have been busy.” A wink, “Though you must have been for it to take so long to get down here.”

Alastor shrunk a little as she smacked at his shoulder. You hadn’t seen him allow others to touch him before. Had that been Angel, the second one of his many arms cocked back Alastor would have stepped away or disappeared. Just a hit and you could see how close they were.

You made a point of befriending her, coming often after that initial meeting to her shop for gossip and advice. As time went on, you began to learn about Alastor’s normal. It was nice to have a mutual friend to discuss your worries and ideas with. 

“And oh! That video. Talk about hot under the collar!”, a petite laugh, “Did you see it?” Rosie waited for you to answer this time. When you shook your head no, she waved her hand, “For the best. The climax was totally unwatchable!”

You turned to Alastor, not sure what that meant, but he didn’t meet your gaze and instead slowly blinked out of sync at the bookshelves behind Rosie’s shoulder. 

“Did you know he’s not into all that?” She took a sip, “You better be patient with him ya got it?”

That question caught you off guard. Apparently for him too, Alastor coming back to life at the change of tone, “This isn’t really a tea topic, dear friend.”

Rosie hummed, “Where are my manners! I was just so relieved he didn’t up and leave for another seven years.” 

What’s a scowl shared between friends?

But shared between whatever you and Val were…?

Valentino’s wings unfurled revealing long fishnet covered legs. You watched as he swayed his hips side to side on his way to the bed. The same bed as before. You remembered the shape and purple comforter that you could see down your blindfold.

“Oh, I wasn’t expecting you to already be undressed.” Where were his pants and button up? This was moving faster than you’d anticipated. 

He turned back to you as he plopped down onto the bed, “What I wear isn’t any of your business. Though, speaking of business.” He pointed to the corner, a part of the room you’d never seen before. A camera on a tripod stood there. “Turn it on.”

Your grimace was immediate. “You sure you wanna film this one?”

Impatient, he crossed his legs and leaned back on two hands, “Did you think you could just come in here, ask to fuck me and … what? It’d be all on your terms?”

Yes. 

You’d worn a dress expressly for ease, and slipped off your panties before going to the camera. For some reason you didn’t want that recorded. It seemed embarrassing. More so than what you were about to do.

Val’s turn to gawk, “You’re seriously not planning on staying dressed.”

“What I wear isn’t any of your business.” You opened the view screen and hit record.

His laugh was dark and deep, “Ooh, I forgot how feisty you were. Maybe this can be a recurring thing.”

Ignoring the comment, you tried to take in the details of the room, checking the walls and small bits of furniture. But you were immensely distracted by the moth demon, who had taken to spreading his legs open and running a hand down his barely contained bulge. Tiny, little, itty black thong, fishnets, nipple chain and… well, the hat. 

Two arms pulled you by the waist, hands gripping the flesh of your ass through the dress. 

“Why are you dressed like you’re off to teach Sunday school?” His hands slipped under the fabric and dug into your bare skin. He glanced at the camera and its small monitor to make sure he was in frame.

Your knees were brought to either side of his legs before he began to open his stance wider and wider. The action lowered your center more and more until your naked heat was resting on his package. Things were speeding up, he was moving you around so effortlessly. A problem, an absolute problem.

“Ya know I haven’t had a believable good girl to break in awhile.” His hips rose of the bed suddenly and made you bounce on his growing erection. Val groaned, a sound that made your skin crawl. 

In the reflection of his glasses you saw the white face of a marble clock on the wall behind you. 

“Could we—- can we do this lying down? Missionary? It’s been awhile and I’m feeling insecure.” The thought of the overpowering demon towering on top of you and pinning you down was… a tad terrifying. But you needed to see the clock, you couldn’t keep turning around. 

A brief thought, maybe just turning around on his lap and staying facing away from him would work, but then you remembered the camera. Didn’t need your now-rising dress to give the Vees anything exploitative to keep.

Not that everyone in all nine rings hadn’t already seen you spread open and screaming on camera.

“Actually maybe it’s okay, I can,” turn around? Your suggestion was cut short.

Val lifted you like a toy and flipped around. Your head hit the bed hard, brain jostling in your skull. One hand instinctively came to his chest to keep some distance. “No, I like this better.” A wide grin as he settled between your legs.

You leaned to the right to see the clock past his shoulder. Five minutes.

Why didn’t you wear a watch? Fuck.

He dropped his lower half onto you until his full weight was pressing his half hard cock into your stomach. Your breath tightened, running out of moveable space to expand your lungs and diaphragm.

“I wanna see you squirm.” Pink smoke was blown directly into your face, catching you off guard. But, where was the cigarette? You didn’t see it…

Your muscles went loose, the stress of the moment washing away. Both of your hands came to the center of your chest and pressed down. Security. Readiness.

Four minutes.

Alastor didn’t like you having a phone but he didn’t stop you from owning one. You had assumed you’d be on the set where you knew there would be some way to keep track of the time. Or else you’d have just worn a dress with pockets to carry a cellphone. Maybe set a timer.

You weren’t sure about Alastor’s disdain for tech until you witnessed it yourself. That square headed stalker flitting from screen to screen, riding the wires and the radio waves. He had warned you about the Vees, about Vox in particular. He didn’t have much to say about Velvette, and somehow that was better than the nothing he had to say about Valentino. 

As Val’s tongue slid up your neck, you thought about Angel. A confidant. You wished he had asked Alastor to kill Val, as a thank you for his efforts in reuniting you two. And, now that you remembered, uniting you at all. 

Instead he asked for a bigger room. Large enough for two to comfortably cohabitate.

Alastor maybe couldn’t kill Val, but he could try. When you brought it up with him he was upset. He didn’t like his name being spoken at all unless absolutely necessary 

An inadvertent moan you didn’t realize came from you until Valentino chuckled at the sound.

“Feeling it?” He cooed. You weren’t sure which it he meant. This wasn’t going quite to plan. 

Three minutes.

So much could happen in three minutes. Too much. He slid down his underwear, sitting up and letting you see him in his full glory.

Why did he have to be such a bad man?

Many men who carried big sticks were unkind. Between their legs or between their fingers. 

Alastor was an exception to the rule. 

Things did calm down for Alastor after you returned, eventually. Alastor’s desperate need was soothed with you in hell again. His appetite dying. But he hungered in new ways. Ways you hadn’t anticipated to fill your cup so full. Long and intense kisses where his hands dragged down your body and he sighed into your cheeks. You were often pulled into his side and under his arm when sharing the sofa. Soft pets to your hair as you fell asleep. 

And when you felt the need, and if he wasn’t feeling up to it, he’d lie beside you and whisper into your ear. Talking soft and low about all the ways you stole his heart and mind while his hand pumped those long fingers in and out of your own needy pussy. He’d grin into the nape of your neck when you were incapable of keeping your voice down any longer. A feeling you’d come to need. 

You didn’t need a cock to be full. And by the look of Val’s twitching monster, you’d be broken before he bottomed out.

His thumbs pulled apart your bottom lips, “Ready to spread you open so wide you won’t even feel that lanky fuck in you.” 

His third and fourth hands pushed your thighs open and back, hands you could swear felt familiar. Alastor? Or before him?

You struggled to regain focus, your fingers feeling at your bra.

Two minutes.

Legs suddenly too weak to resist, or perhaps Val too strong. Or, a third option, you weren’t trying so hard. Behind his fingers was left a burn on your skin.

“Closer.” Your lips were tingling, it felt good.

“I need you closer.”

His wide chest grew prideful, “Oh? If you’re looking for love you’re in the wrong bed, princesa.”

“No love. Chest. I can’t reach your chest.” You struggled to sit up, but managed to grab the chain connecting his pierced nipples before falling back into the bed.

A screech, a squeak, “Fuck! Watch how you handle that.” His voice rose several octaves. God, you hated him. 

You gripped the chain tightly, the feeling keeping you a little grounded. “Oops.” A whirlpool was behind your eyes, all five senses mingling and amplifying. This was dangerous. He hadn’t used this aphrodisiac on you before…maybe he had liked how much you thrashed when he tied you up and mocked you.  

His length ran up your core and you jumped. He was so hot. So…. Firm.

No. Too close.

One minute.

You had told Alastor you wouldn’t let it go too far. He said he’d not stop you, because you had said you needed to do it. But you could see the conflict behind his own gaze. What would he do if you returned smelling of Val? Dripping of him? 

Almost. Just a few more seconds. His body rolled into you, rocking you with the motion. Every passing had his cock from slit to balls sliding between your wildly wet folds. 

Timing was key for your safety. Though Alastor had made it clear you could always just bail and wait for his call.

The more Val rubbed and pressed against you you felt your mind melt a little more. Surely it would slip down your spine at this rate. 

A brief worry in the pleasurable fog, what if later on you remembered the pleasure and felt guilty? Guilty to Alastor but most importantly to yourself, for gasping and sighing under the abusive trash that dragged you to hell to begin with.

And what if you didn’t? 

Which was worse?

Which would be easier to live with?

He prodded your inner thigh. He was getting closer and closer to actually entering you.

30 seconds.

“Do you remember my promise?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” His head was hung as he stared between your bodies. He didn’t see you reach between your breasts into your bra and pull out the Carmine angelic dagger Husk had recommended to Alastor. You hadn’t been quiet about your plans.

“Odd, it’s on recording. Maybe you didn’t realize I was talking to you.” As you moved the dagger from your right side to bury it into Valentino’s chest you remembered the man in the woods. The young man at work. Angel. Here you were again. But if this ended the same as the woods, where would you go? Would Alastor be able to reach you?

“My promise to fucking kill you.”

Valentino keeled back, hand raised to slash your throat out when a green light momentarily blinded him. The sound of chains filled the room as you disappeared into nothingness underneath him. He was left slashing at his own duvet while he tried to slow the bleeding.

Alastor caught you as you fell from the portal he summoned you with. Two feet barely touching the floor as he set you in the reading chair in front of his fireplace.

He nodded at the drops of blood staining your cornflower yellow dress, “Was it a success?”

Your body slipped down the chair, dress getting caught in the friction and riding up. He leaned over and tugged it back down to hide your exposed sex.  You were too far gone to feel deja vu.

“No, I think he’s alive. He drugged me with that smoke.” Your legs were spread wide, trying to keep your weight from slipping off the chair. “I was too weak.”

Alastor sat in the chair opposite and took in the scene. Hair messy, legs open, face flush. Bloodied and breathless.

Pride ran a shiver up his spine. His doe’s second murder attempt. While he has despised the idea he couldn’t pretend he didn’t love the initiative. 

“Hey, I know you said you wouldn’t ask.” You crossed your legs at the ankle, which did nothing to stop the way the air that was rising up your dress and cooling your core. “But I didn’t fuck him.”

Alastor shrugged, “As they say, all is fair in love and war. I would understand if you did for the sake of killing him. What’s a little sex if it helps murder?”

Your hand slipped down your chest, a ghostly trail in its wake like your touch had an echo. “What a terrible way to confess you love me.”

A choked cough from the radio demon.

Your eyes slipped close. Relaxed. “I feel good.”

He hummed.

“Not from the stabbing, from the stuff in his smoke. My body is thrumming. Is my heart pounding?” You tried to stand but ended up on your knees, cheek coming to rest on his inner leg. As he leaned forward to let his hand enter your dress and rest above your heart, his face got close to yours.

“It’s frantic.” A low whisper into the shell of your ear. Pulling back he paused at your face to lick an errant drop of blood. “You reek of him.”

“He did lick me a couple times.” You watched Alastor sneer, “And he was naked, like, immediately. Oh! Oh fuck,” your head popped up with a renewed clarity, “He recorded it.”

Alastor stilled, he wasn’t thinking about the recording aspect. He was thinking on your heart, on how flushed your skin was, the sweat dripping down your neck. On the thought of Val’s tongue over your skin. “The medicine— or drug you were exposed to,” a deep breath in, “What does it feel like?”

A topic change you hadn’t expected, your body slouched into his leg, arm over his thigh for support. His eyes on your face as they always were when you were in the room. 

“Like my body is… illuminescent. Every time my clothes or something touches me, my skin lights up and my brain gets so quiet.” His palm stayed on your heart. 

“Hmm,” His hands slipped under your arm, lifting you up. Your feet were entirely off the ground now as he carried you like a dirty cat on its way to the bath. Gently, you were set onto the bed. A lovely juxtaposition.

“Every time I touch where he did, tell me.” Alastor kneeled beside you, deft fingers unbuttoning your dress. A sharp claw popped under the center of your bra and sliced through the fabric.

Your body was humming again, Val’s powerful aphrodisiac lifting up from your senses like dust under heavy footsteps. 

Goosebumps formed up your arms as the back of his fingers traced along the outside of your forearm. As he curved up your shoulder and reached your neck you breathed out a low, “There.”

You watched him lean down, warm lips kissing at your skin. A series of kisses as soft and needy as the ones he often placed on your own mouth. A shudder turned nearly violent as his hot tongue ran up your neck to your jaw.

His nose slid up your cheek, “There.” Kisses to your face, across your nose and to the other side.

He pulled back, eyes lusty and heavy lidded. He didn’t say anything, but his grim smile asked you something. You nodded, running your hands down your chest and to your thighs.

A growl you hadn’t heard in so long rumbled in his chest. He rolled you onto your stomach and pulled the dress off entirely, nails raking along your spine until they dimpled the soft fat of your ass.

“There.”

Alastor straddled you at the back of your knees. You wanted to squirm but your muscles had gone weak again. He nipped at the mounds of flesh, massaging and squeezing after every particularly sharp bite. What little part of your brain could form coherent thoughts was trying to piece together an alarm— his face was so close to your still soaking wet entrance. 

Images bubbled up where words were failing. Val’s large cock head smearing precum up your slit.

His hands roamed down your legs and feet before turning you back to face him. When you could finally see his expression again, you were surprised to see a look he hadn’t given in so long.

Needy. Desperation screamed through knitted brows, hazy eyes, and a weak smile threatening to fall flat.

As his hands slid down your stomach and reached the junction of your thighs, you started to register the little moans you were making.

But it was getting harder to hear past the radio static and pounding heartbeat in your ears.

Soft fingers traveled between your closed thighs, you hesitated before offering what you thought was a quiet, “There.”

You couldn’t hear yourself think let alone speak as the sounds both in and outside your body grew louder with every signal he’d found a new spot to cover up.

His knees pushed open your left thigh, then your right. Lowering himself, he hitched your knees and lied flat on his stomach. A bite to your inner thigh, nearly the back. A suck, sharp and strong, that ended with a pop as he released.

Nose inching closer and closer to your core, Alastor could see your hole clenching. A dribble of the evidence of your arousal being forced out and down the cleft of your ass.

You heard and felt his breathing quicken, when a finger slid down your folds you couldn’t stop the raise of your hips.

“There.”

The lights went out with a pop. Shaky breaths as his tongue swiped from entrance to clit. Lick after lick to your center like he was trying to make you clean again. Another moan you were only sure was yours cut through the now biting static that filled the air around you.

Your mind tried to piece together a sentence, “Crazy stuff… it had me so horny”, your hands ran up your chest without thinking, “I was almost hoping Val would put it in before time was gone.”

The static cut. Not even the sound of the fireplace or the crickets in the swamp portaled into his room were present anymore. 

“Isn’t that insane? Have you ever heard of such a drug?” Your eyes had closed, feeling his breath wafting down your saliva coated lips. “Alastor?”

He was being honest when he said he’d not hold it against you. But he hadn’t even considered a situation where you wanted more to happen. Than had been discussed. The very idea of Valentino mixing with you brought bile to his throat.

The drug was to blame and he could understand that, as a man. But as an overlord, as something more akin to animal in some aspects, he had the clawing urge to reclaim you. To write over even the thought of wanting to feel Valentino.

“My darling little doe, I think you need a reminder of just how much of you I possess. And the parts of me you own in turn.” 

You looked down to see glowing eyes from between your legs, his fingers snapped and while you couldn’t see what was happening past the light of his eyes, you could hear the VHS player click and then a small, “Aunt Sara….” whispered in a familiar voice.  

“I don’t understand what’s happened….”

It took a moment to register it was your own voice you were hearing from the darkness. 

“Aunt Sara isn’t here.” 

Alastor’s acting debut crowing from the old TV beside his bayou door. His eyes shifted with a blink from glowing red to black, just sharp dials visible in the shadow of his face.

“She’s made an exchange, she gets extraordinary power….and I get your soul.”

The prongs of a buck ready to clash over his territory creaked past your open thighs.

“But I want more than that. I need more than that.”

˖ ݁𖥔.Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult.𖥔 ݁ ˖

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[pedroscowgirl]

Idk if you saw that interview where Hugh was like "I don't have a safe word I want to keep going" but something where it's actually giggly sex 😭

A/N: i hope you like this cuz idk if it turned out the way you wanted but here you go <3 ill add details later cuz its 4 am rn and im tired

The day had been buzzing with excitement as you prepared for the big interview. Hugh and Ryan, ever the dynamic duo, were scheduled to promote their latest film, and you knew it was going to be a mix of sharp wit and hilarious banter. As you stood behind the camera, you watched the two of them take their places, standing side by side. Hugh wore a mint-green polo shirt, his posture relaxed and his face lit up with a broad smile. Ryan, in contrast, had a more deadpan expression, dressed casually in a dark, patterned shirt.

The interview started off smoothly, with the host asking the usual questions about the movie. But then, as expected, the conversation took a playful turn. Ryan, ever the joker, looked straight into the camera, his expression serious as he quipped, "My safe word is ‘please stop, that hurts.’"

The crew burst into laughter, and you couldn’t help but chuckle from your spot behind the scenes.

Hugh, standing beside him, grinned widely, the mischievous glint in his eyes unmistakable. "I don’t have a safe word," he declared, his voice deep and smooth. "I want to keep going."

The room erupted in laughter again, the chemistry between the two actors on full display. In that moment, Hugh’s eyes flicked over to where you were standing, and he caught your eye. He flashed you a smile—half playful, half something deeper—and it sent a warm shiver down your spine. It was a fleeting moment, but it felt like a private joke shared just between the two of you.

The rest of the interview continued in the same vein, filled with jokes and teasing, but that brief exchange lingered in your mind, making your heart race.

Later that evening, you arrived home, the day’s events still dancing through your mind like a slow, sweet melody. The house was wrapped in a soft, peaceful silence, but as soon as you stepped inside, you noticed Hugh. He was already there, leaning casually against the kitchen counter, a drink cradled in his hand, his gaze lifting to meet yours the moment you entered. His smile—slow, teasing, and so familiar, curved at the corner of his lips, the kind that always made your heart skip a beat.

"You seemed to be enjoying yourself today," he said, his voice rich with warmth and playful insinuation, the sound of it wrapping around you like a slow caress.

You couldn't help but grin, your steps carrying you closer to him, the space between you shrinking with each beat of your heart. "You and Ryan," you said, shaking your head slightly, your smile widening, "were having way too much fun. That safe word comment really got to you, didn’t it?"

Hugh chuckled, a deep, rumbling sound that vibrated through the air, settling in your chest. He set his drink aside, his arms slipping around your waist in one fluid motion, pulling you against him. The warmth of his body seeped into yours, making you melt into his embrace. "Maybe," he murmured, his lips hovering near your ear, his breath warm and tantalizing against your skin, sending a delicious shiver down your spine. "But it was your laugh that I couldn’t stop thinking about."

Before you had a chance to respond, his mouth was on yours, soft and slow at first, tasting, teasing, exploring. The kiss was sweet, but laced with the same playful energy that had lingered between you all day. His lips pressed harder, more insistent now, as if he wanted to consume every thought, every breath, every inch of you. His hands roamed over your back, pulling you closer still, until there was no space left between your bodies, only heat and the promise of something more.

You laughed softly against his lips, your breath catching as his kiss deepened, his tongue teasing yours, playful yet full of intent. "So," you murmured, your voice breathless as you broke the kiss, just for a moment, "no safe word, huh?"

His grin widened, wicked and full of mischief, as his hands slipped under your shirt, his fingers brushing against the bare skin of your waist. He nuzzled into your neck, his lips trailing feather-light kisses along your pulse. "Only if you say, 'please stop, that hurts,'" he teased, his voice low and rough with desire.

A laugh bubbled up from your chest, but it quickly dissolved into a soft moan as Hugh’s kisses turned into playful nips, his teeth grazing your skin in a way that made your entire body hum with anticipation. The banter, the teasing, it all faded into the background as his hands moved over you, exploring, claiming, until all that remained was the heat between you, the shared breath, the undeniable pull of desire.

Hugh's lips continued their tantalizing path, leaving a trail of warmth and tingling sensation wherever they touched. And your laughter melted into moans, soft whispers exchanged between kisses, the playful energy from the day morphing into something deeper, more intimate, as you both surrendered to the moment.

He scooped you up effortlessly, a surprised squeak escaping your lips as he lifted you into his arms. The feeling of his strength, the way his arms cradled you securely against his chest, made your heart race. With every step toward the bedroom, the anticipation grew, a heady mix of excitement and desire swirling in the air between you.

He set you down on the bed with a gentleness that contrasted with the fiery intensity in his eyes. His gaze never left yours as he slowly undressed you, his hands moving with deliberate care, as if savoring the moment of revealing each part of you.

Hugh paused for a moment, taking in the sight of you laid out before him, a look of awe and affection on his face. The room was quiet except for the sound of your mingled breaths, heavy with expectation. He leaned down, his lips finding yours in a kiss that started soft and sweet but quickly deepened, growing hungrier, more demanding. You melted into it, your hands reaching to pull him closer, to feel his warmth against you.

In the soft, warm glow of the room, your bodies were tangled up in the sweetest way, the gentle rise and fall of your breaths matching as you snuggled close. Hugh’s eyes twinkled as they met yours, a mix of love and a playful glint that made your heart skip. His forehead rested against yours, both of you grinning, caught up in the cozy, silly intimacy of the moment.

"I love you sooo much," he whispered with a giggle, his breath warm and soft against your lips. You barely had a chance to respond before he kissed you, quick, teasing kisses that made you both laugh, your smiles breaking between every kiss. His hand slid down your side, fingers tracing your skin like it was the softest thing he’d ever touched. He paused, looking up at you with an exaggerated, playful grin. "Ticklish?" he teased, giving your side a tiny, playful squeeze, and you burst into giggles, squirming beneath him.

As he gently touched you, it wasn’t rushed or intense; it was slow, sweet, and filled with those giggly, breathless moments where you couldn’t help but smile at each other. Every touch was tender, like he was trying to make you laugh as much as he was trying to make you feel good. When his fingers reached your core, you gasped with surprise, but it turned into a light, joyful laugh as your body arched instinctively towards him, the tension mixed with pure delight.

He smiled too, his breathy laughter joining yours. "Oh, you like that?" he teased, his voice soft and playful. You nodded, biting your lip, trying to keep the laughter at bay as his fingers moved with a gentle rhythm that made you feel safe, loved, and totally adored.

The pleasure was real, but so was the lightness between you two. "Oh my gosh," you murmured through another giggle as he hit just the right spot, and Hugh grinned like he was so proud of himself. His thumb circled in a way that had you gasping one moment and laughing the next, the closeness making everything feel warm and perfect, like the two of you were sharing something so beautiful.

"Let go for me," he whispered with a smile, leaning down to kiss your nose, his voice filled with love and mischief all at once. You clung to him as he coaxed you higher and higher, your body trembling, but your heart so full of joy that you couldn’t help but keep smiling.

When the release came, it was like the sweetest kind of relief—your body tensing and then melting into pure, soft bliss. You smiled through it, your hands gripping his arms as the waves of pleasure washed over you, feeling like your whole body was filled with light. "Oh, wow," you gasped between soft, breathless chuckles, and Hugh was right there with you, pressing kisses all over your face like he couldn’t get enough.

"You’re so cute," he murmured, his voice filled with affection as his hands stayed on you, grounding you, keeping the moment tender and safe. You caught your breath, the two of you still tangled up together, all smiles and sweetness.

After a moment, Hugh gave you a playful look, his eyes gleaming with that teasing light. "Round two?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows as he tugged at his waistband, making you excited all over again. You nodded, grinning, feeling giddy with love and anticipation.

He moved slowly, undressing like he was putting on a show just for you, every move exaggerated in the silliest, most endearing way. When he finally joined you again, his body warm and familiar, he hovered above you, his eyes searching yours one more time, but this time with pure playfulness.

With a slow, gentle movement, he entered you, both of you gasping, but then immediately relaxing. His movements were slow, steady, but filled with love, each thrust bringing you closer, but in the sweetest, most joyful way. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close, the two of you so connected that it felt like the world melted away.

“Look at me,” he whispered through a grin, his voice full of love. You opened your eyes, meeting his gaze, and the pure adoration there made your heart swell. He smiled down at you, his eyes twinkling like you were the only person in the world, and you felt like you were floating.

The pleasure built, slowly, softly, until it was almost too much—almost. "Are you sure you don't need a safe word" Hugh said trough the moans as he looked down at you. "No hugh, u can fuck me as hard and as many times as you want" you maneged to get out. And then, with one last, sweet thrust, you were falling over the edge together, the release gentle but overwhelming, your bodies trembling with it. Tears were forming at your eyes, as the last waves of pleasure rolled through you. Hugh held you close,smiling again, his face pressed against your neck as you both caught your breath, wrapped up in each other.

“You’re perfect,” he whispered, kissing your forehead, his voice soft and filled with so much love. You smiled, feeling like the luckiest person in the world as you lay there together, the room quiet, your hearts full. And as you snuggled into him, feeling the steady beat of his heart against yours, you knew this was love real, wrapped up in a moment you’d never forget.

"Today was fun," you murmured, resting your head against his chest.

Hugh hummed in agreement, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "It was. We should definitely do it again sometime. Maybe with a few new safe words."

You both laughed again, the sound carrying you into a peaceful, contented sleep, still wrapped up in each other’s arms.

[hpowellsmith]

Honor Bound Chapter 7 Update!

I’m delighted to share Honor Bound Chapter 7 on Dashingdon and itch! You can skip any number of chapters to start at the chapter of your choice, or you can play through the whole thing. You can try loading a save you made before this update, but you will probably need to start a fresh one. If you encounter a bug when using a loaded save, please try replaying through the whole thing or using the chapter-skip to replay the chapter in which you found the problem - in some cases this will fix it!

If you have a minute, I’d love to hear your feedback! As before, there is some feedback that I’m waiting until later to implement, and a minor character who hasn’t been added in yet, but I always pay attention to all feedback being sent in.

This new demo is around 306,000 words, with Chapter 7 and various edits adding around 43,000 words to the whole thing!

This is going to be the last chapter that I put up publicly before the beta testing begins. I may put up edits to Chapters 1-7 before then, and will implement bugfixes, but we’re getting towards the home stretch now and I’d like playtesters to have the experience of playing all the later chapters so they can have a big-picture perspective on how the branches can go.

In this chapter you will encounter:

a lot of bad things (more detailed content notes below)

As well as the new chapter, I’ve made some significant edits to earlier chapters in response to player feedback - more about that below too.

Many thanks to everyone for their feedback - it’s been so helpful! Thanks especially to an anonymous Patreon subscriber who gave some really useful comments about some Chapter 7 one-on-one scenes which inspired me to expand on them and include some extra characterful moments.

Read more about Honor Bound on the forum thread

Play the Honor Bound demo on dashingdon and itch

Give feedback

Wishlist on Steam

Revisions:

Overall:

More references to trauma responses when PC’s health is low, more reference to cane use, a bit more flavour text about the injury, more flavour text referring to health improvements to reflect the PC looking after themself

Chapters 5 and 6: added talk with Denario about the PC being trans if it didn’t happen in Chapter 3

General typo fixes

Chapter 4

expanded a branch of the late-chapter Korzha scene for more breathing room

Chapter 5

added option to medically assess Korzha when they look sick

minor expansion of conversation with Catarina about what she thinks about the trip

minor expansion of letter-writing with Fiore

Chapter 6

tweaked Alva’s assignment offer, with clearer information and potential disadvantages of taking it

expanded end of Savarel’s one-on-one scene

fixed an error making end of Korzha’s goodnight scene shorter than intended

added a choice to enable an amorous PC and Raffi to hide what’s going on from Simone

added optional one-on-one Denario scene, including optional sex scene

Chapter 7 content notes: earthquake, quicksand, fire, building collapse, potential severe injuries to the PC and others​

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - April

aka The Masterlist

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 30.04.2024

A little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙

I am happy about gif-requests 🌼

Here you can find all of my gifs.

Tracking: #josistag

At the end you can have a look at what we can expect in April with a MDL link and a link for a trailer (if avaible).

This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!

1. 25 Ju, Akasaka de 🇯🇵 (2/10)

They were fellow students and now they have to play in a BL together. One of them is two years older and popular. For the other one, this is his first big role and he needs it, so he is determined to to anything he needs to do, to be a good actor. Even when this means to find a partner and fall in love to be able to play the role perfectly. Why not try to be lovers with your co-star. All for the sake of the series of course.

2. Blue Boys 🇰🇷 (2/4)

This short series is quite good. I saw the first episode by chance and I was hooked, but lost it again, because I couldn't track it on MDL. Now it is up there. I hope these two can resolve their missunderstanding, with talking! But they are too hungry for each other...

3. Boys Be Brave! 🇰🇷 (2/8)

Enemies to lovers, but different. Jinwoo likes Kisub and Kisub knows this. But while Kisub gives his heart away to every person who hits on him and can't really say No to anyone, Jinwoo loves to build up his wall and hide behind a strong No. Their worlds collide, when Kisub moves in with Jinwoo, if he likes it or not. Great first episodes!

4. Cityboy_Log 🇰🇷 (12/?)

They are back and unhinged like before! Jihan and Jaejun met after a while because they were busy and it seems they had some catching up to do the night before. We get some daily vlogging, some cuteness and some jealousy, which wasn't that cute. But they are finally back and I am happy. The acting is still very good. There is no deeper story behind, just some idols, models and actors falling in love with each other and theit daily lifes.

5. Deep Night 🇹🇭 (3/8)

his is everything I was expecting, so it didn't disappoint, I guess. To be honest, I watch this for First. I guess he would have chemistry with a stick, soooo this is nice. And I hope the story, at least stays like this and won't get worse... Update: This show is a mess 😂 there is so much going on all at once and at the same time nothing really happens? It is so confusing, yet very entertaining. But Wela, my dear, it is totally okay to be pissed if one fucks with you, while you are so drunk you can't remember shit the next day... Just a thought.

6. Kare no Iru Seikatsu 🇯🇵 (3/8)

Kazuhito has no girlfriend and the ones he had, broke up with him, because they felt he likes someone else... Who might that be?... The story is simple, I guess? (But perhaps not that simple... The preview for ep 3 looks interesting.) Childhood friends are forced to move in together after spending time apart. One is a little bit naive and is trying to find out why girls breaking up with the most charming and handsome guy he knows and the latter is in love with the naive one and in the end they have their happy ending. I like it. I want to see their growth.

7. Love Is Like A Cat 🇰🇷 (10/12)

Who thought this was a good idea? Who wrote this? Who said cut at the end of scenes? Who thought this is be the way Mew should act? I cringe so hard and not in a funny way. This series is just bad. I keep watching because of this little bean. But I had to skip so many scenes in today's episodes, because it was just so bad! And I can't figure out if Mew just didn't want to be there and act or if that is the way the director wanted him to act... But the acting is bad. Bad choices everywhere. And the dialogues? Cringe... Why would a bean like Dae Byeol fall for Uno? Nope...

8. My Stand-In 🇹🇭 (1/12)

Okay, hear me out. I watch this for Poom and for Poom only. But the story lookes interesting, it was quite intriguing. I don't know why, but I cringed a bit too much at some scenes. But Poom is beautiful and that is all I care about. Yes, I can be this shallow!

9. Only Boo 🇹🇭 (4/12)

The cringe was so strong with this one this week! I had to pause multiple times, but at the same time I enjoyed it so much! Moo is so unhinged and I love him! But please! Don't let Moo's cousin become a possible love interest for Kang. I know we got this dream sequence this week, but there is something in the air between Shone and him... and I don't like it. The second couple... I felt really sad for them this week. Beeing in love with your best friend is never easy...

10. Unknown 🇹🇼 (12/12)

The story about found family, childhood trauma and struggling topped with a lovestory between "brothers". They aren't really brothers so I really don't care and just enjoy this forbidden and hurtful lovestory to the fullest. This is exactly what I hoped for! The longing, tension and hurting is so good! It is the aftermath of the shooting and Qian is still dealing with his emotions and his feelings for Yuan. The love between them is real and strong, but Qian is afraid and can't just let his heart decide over the head, yet. He loves Yuan, but is afraid what that means for them and especially for Yuan's future. And yet he held him back. He was the one reaching out in the end! I have said enough about them and this first part of ep 11 in my post. I love them. My heart belongs to them. I wish we had more developement between these two as a couple, but I still love them and I forgive this show the rush in the end, because I love it so much.

11. Word of Honor 🇨🇳 (20/36)

Those two flirt a lot and are a married couple. Everyone knows that. And I love and enjoy that! Overall this is such a fun watch and the different sects and intrigues are sometimes a little bit confusing, but interesting. I love this world of martial arts and I love how protective Wen Kexing is over Zhou Zishu.

Finished in April

Series

My Strawberry Film 🇯🇵

This is what I call a love triangle. And the fact that the screenwriters worked for Eien No Kinou or Jack o'Frost promised some heartbreak and teenage angst. And they delivered. I really like this series. And I felt so many emotions, especially for Ryo. And I really loved the ending. No fake relationship and no unrealistic confessions, just some teenagers in love and being friends. And I think Hiraku was such a sweet friend in this last episode. He apologized and he finally recognized Ryo's feelings for him. And I believe they stay friends in the future. It might be difficult, but a good friendship is worth fighting for. It has so much to do with respect and love for each other. It is a solid 8 out of 10 for me.

Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto 🇯🇵

The story about highschool sweethearts, who didn't have the chance to enjoy their young love, because of horrible family backgrounds. Their story is devastating and I am happy they found their way back to each other. The story was good, the acting was good, I am in love with Furuya Robin, which is nice, and the side characters were special (shoutout to Yuto!). I wish there was more "passion" from Miyata, but I guess it is due to his character. Overall it was a good watch and I enjoyed it! A good 8 out of 10 for me.

Jazz For Two 🇰🇷

I love bls about music and about traumatic pasts. The second couple has my heart. I just love them coming together. Usually I hate this bully-trope, but with them, I kinda enjoyed it. Perhaps because Jooha always looked like a hurting puppy. Overall the homophobia in this one is strong and I think it is interesting to see them deal with their own feelings. Internal and external homophobia is such a big thing in all their stories and I wish they had more time to show the developement from hating themselves to loving the other person and themselves. But in my opinion they made a good story and a good show. I like it very much. And what was that kiss in the end? Wow! A good 9 out of 10 for.

To Be Continued 🇹🇭

I really like this one! I read some comments that the reason they never got together was just stupid, but from their perspective I can understand why they reacted how they reacted. They were young and unsure what to do and what all of this meant for them and their friendship. What I liked about the show was the present and past scenes. We learned so much about their past and the scenes fitted perfectly. It was a really good series and I am glad I waited to binge it. Guess I come back to this one from time to time. Rewatch value is there. And those two have really good chemistry! A good 9 out of 10 for me.

Movie

Short Film

Dropped in April

We are 🇹🇭

I dropped this after the first half of the first episode. There are a few reasons for that. First, I need some shows to binge on lonely sundays. And second, I just don't feel like watching this one. It was so quirky for me. Not my kinf od humor right now.

Looking forward to in April

Love is like a cat - Trailer (Apr 1st)

We are - Trailer (Apr 3rd)

Memory in a letter - Trailer (Apr 6th)

Grey Shelter (Apr 11th)

Kare no Iru Seikatsu - Trailer (Apr 12th)

The Spirealm (Apr 15th)

Boys be brave! (Apr 25th)

25 Ji, Akasaka de (Apr 19th)

Kimi to Yukite Saku: Shinsengumi Seishunroku (Apr 25th)

My Stand-In - Trailer (Apr 26th)

Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko 2024

Knock Knock, Boys - Trailer

[twstfanblog]

*~Period Drama~* Monday-Extended

A/N: SCREAMS EVEN LOUDER. So excited to share this with you guys! Sorry it took me so long to update the series, I took a winter break along with getting ill on the first fucking day of the new year. Another thank you to @bun-lapin for allowing me to use their lovely OCs for this fic series! I love them so much and I'm having so much fun playing with them! Word Count: 6K (This is literally just half the part omfg...) Warnings: She/They Pronouns OC, (Poorly written fight scene, Lilia) Pairings: YuuxJamilxAzulxMalleus (Poly) ~Taglist(Oh wow this got big) @twistedcece @deltrea @krenenbaker @koebishrimpuwu @cat100200 @emyluwinter @obsessionswithfandoms @ady-hilborn @lucid-stories @girl-nahh-two @itz-hydrodeptus-foxy7 @chyluna @riddlesimps @death-the-jo @a-twistedheartslonging @qixlin @chaosistheonlyway @welcome-to-my-horde @abell2029cluster @kirans-wonderland @coffee-or-hot-cocoa @the-ace-reader @iamsoconfusedallofthetime Start, Part 2 (Octavinelle), Part 3 (Heartslabyul), Part 4 (Savanaclaw), Part 4.5 (Here), Part 5 (Diasomnia pt.2), Part 6 (Pomefiore)

Silver was concerned, he could say that truthfully now.

He sat beside Malleus, the horned fae sitting between him and his father pouting. Across from them were Sebek and his friends, minus Yuu and Ortho. The fact the prefect was missing from the ensemble being the reason Malleus was pouting again.

Early Saturday morning, Yuu had contacted Malleus and canceled their planned weekend outings. Only stating they weren't feeling up to doing much for the weekend due to a surprise occurrence, promising to see him on Monday during lunch. Bad news that was only doubled by their dorm advisor telling Malleus he was forbidden to enter Ramshackle grounds until further notice. Silver could still remember the sound of Malleus' dejected cello playing, the chords seeming to echo through all of Diasomnia as the rain outside nearly flooded the dorm. 

Lilia had managed to improve Malleus’ mood that morning with the fact he was going to see Yuu soon. Only to have his hopes crushed once again at Epel's sheepish explanation that Yuu was still sick. And now the incomplete ‘Firstie Squad’ all squished onto one long couch while he, Lilia, and a sulking Malleus sat on another.

The longer the silence lasted, the longer Silver had a chance to really observe Sebek. As his father was busy keeping Malleus from throwing a tantrum, Silver watched Sebek sit with absolute poise and hands clasped together so tight he feared for his bones. Sebek also refused to look him in the eyes, a bead of sweat keeping a trembling presence on his temple as he kept completely silent. A feat that Silver realized the half-fae had managed since early Saturday evening…

Jack had been quick to state they were skipping 3rd period because Sebek wasn't feeling well, bringing him back to the dorm to keep him company since no one was allowed at Ramshackle. Deuce had noticed him when they entered the dorm, doing a double take with wide eyes as he mumbled about him being a second year under his breath. He asked him frantically, hands grasping tight to his shoulders, if he was also sick, if he had been to the school that day. Silver slowly explained that; no, he had not. He chose to stay in the dorm in an effort to right his internal clock. A task his father and Malleus had been helping with since the 3rd years didn't have classes until after lunch that day.

Just as the grandfather clock chimed, indicating the start of the lunch period, Malleus stood from the couch with a sigh, “Enough waiting. If my lover is ill and unable to attend school, I can simply gather their work and bring it to them.”

Lilia giggles, standing along with Malleus as they start to walk toward the massive double doors leading out of the dorm, “A wonderful idea, Malleus! And since you'll already be there it's not out of the question to sit and visit with them. I'm sure some tea and conversation is just what they need-”

“NO!”

Everyone jumps, staring wide-eyed at Sebek's almost screeching outburst. The half-fae sat more hunched in on himself, shoulders up to his ears as he looked down in embarrassment at the desperate voice crack that echoed through the room. Silver only felt his concern growing as he saw how flushed Sebek's face was getting, as if he was struggling to physically hold something in, “Sebek…Are you okay?”

Epel chimes in, eyes wide in what Silver could only call panic, as he leaned to block their view of Sebek, “That's right! Sebek's sick! You guys should, like, stay and help us heal him up or whatever!”

Malleus and Lilia share a glance before Lilia addresses the freshmen, “Sebek seems to have more than enough support with you four. Add on Silver and I'm sure no illness will last long.”

With a soft smile, Malleus holds a hand out to address Sebek, “As a show of our bond, I will gather your work as well, Sebek. I know you wouldn't want poor health to interrupt your studies.”

Malleus turns away to walk toward the door, only to freeze mid-step at the truly pathetic-sounding whine that echoes through the air. The fae turns back around, eyes wide as he looks at Sebek curled into himself and trying to hide his entire being the best he could in Ace’s lap, “...Sebek?”

Lilia steps forward, worry slowly bleeding onto his face as he taps his chin, “Maybe I can stay back a bit longer and make you some nice and healthy stew…?”

Malleus and Silver share a more concerned look at the idea of Lilia's cooking. Silver makes quick glances at the door as a silent plea for Malleus to escape and bring back some form of relief.

“Perhaps I should find madame Oster or professor Crewel to secure a tonic for Sebek…and lunch of our guests-”

Deuce feels Sebek's panicked grasp on his arm. The half fae too embarrassed to possibly make another sound but begging them to help him keep Malleus from entering the school, “DRACONIA-SENPAI! YOU SHOULD STAY AND READ SEBEK A BEDTIME STORY INSTEAD! T-TO MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER!” By the Seven, he's so sorry, Sebek…

“...” Malleus looks to the side, pondering the idea with honest intensity, “Well, I'm not opposed…”

CLICK-CLUNK

Everyone turns, watching the massive front doors of the dorm slowly have their locks twisted shut. Intricate designs coming alive and moving across the wood and stone to turn the ominous castle into an inescapable prison. In front of the doors stood Hui-Yan, dorm advisor to Diasomnia, clipping the black metal key back to her hip before she turned to the group with a stern expression, “No one is leaving the dorm until further notice.”

Lilia looks at Hui-Yan with wide eyes, ruby irises glancing at the now magically barricaded doors and windows before drifting back to the eastern woman, “Why…?”

“Because, I said so.”

Silver couldn't see it, but he knows his father's eye twitched.

Hui-Yan was the dorm advisor to Diasomnia, something he wasn't entirely sure if his father actually agreed with. The Eastern woman was a threat in all aspects; beautiful, deadly, and cold. Though some (Sebek) spoke ill of how she wielded her power over the dorm, none of them could deny the woman was an icon of nobility, even without a formal title. She was also his and Sebek's personal close combat tutor. How his father convinced her of it he'd never know. But, he would like to have moments without the near-constant threat of being ambushed on his way to the bathroom in the middle of the night…

“I just don't see why we're not allowed out of the dorm. Have we done something wrong, dear advisor?” Lilia walked closer to Hui-Yan, a tight smile on his lips as he openly stared at the key latched to her hip.

“Are you questioning my authority, Vanrouge?”

“...” Lilia took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he leaned away from the golden-eyed teacher, “No ma'am.” Lilia knew he couldn't risk a bunch of impressionable teen boys getting the idea that mutiny was an accepted idea in any form…

“I should hope not. So as I said, no one is allowed out of the dorm until further notice.” she gestures to the empty space beside both of them, “Stand aside.”

Lila stepped over, a tight smile on his face as he let her walk past him, “...” his smile turns teasing, “But…since this does deal with the future of the Draconia bloodline, I believe I outrank you in this matter, so~...”

In a move faster than any of them could follow, Lilia closed the distance between himself and Hui-Yan. He quickly snatched the key from the loop on her hip, only pulling away a few inches before her hand was gripping his wrist.

She glared at Lilia's jovial expression, trying to tug the fae's hand closer only to find resistance, “Release the key, Vanrouge.”

“Nope~.”

Hui-Yan's eyes seem to glow as she snarls, leaning closer to growl in Lilia's face, “Release it…”

“Oh!” Lilia leans in just as close, his teasing smile turning into an almost seductive smirk as he growled back, voice deepening, “Are we growling now?”

“What the fuck?” Ace quietly spoke from couches, the other students in the room watching the display with uncomfortable expressions.

Silver catches eyes with Malleus. While the first years were preoccupied watching the growing struggle between Lilia and their increasingly angered dorm advisor, Silver made quick glances toward the side of the lounge area. While the key locked down the dorm so to speak, it left a single side entrance open for exit only. A small fact that his father had shared once he and Sebek started to search for Malleus at night.

Malleus perks up, smiling in thanks at Silver before looking over his shoulder. Lilia and Hui-Yan had escalated to nearly flinging the other around in an effort to gain control of the key. At a decently brutal slam Lilia took to the floor, yet he didn't release his hold on the key, Malleus took that as his sign to exit stage left.

He had just barely walked out of the room, a pep in his step as he fantasized about how happy his dearest lover would be to see him. Turning the corner he jumped as a voice nearly rivaling Sebek's rang out.

“MALLEUS IS LEAVING!”

Malleus doubles back to glare at the panicked-looking wolf beastman. He'd certainly remember to attend the next dorm lead meeting, if only to speak to Leona about his supposed standards for tattle-tales in his dorm. But, his glare as cut off as he felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, Hui-Yan had him in her sights. He moved back behind the corner, teleporting to the door to gain as much distance as he could from the infuriated woman.

His hand touched the knob, nearly crushing it in his surprise as the doors leading to the small entryway burst open as Lilia's body flew through the air. Malleus looks on in mild horror as Lilia rolls on the floor, the older fae groaning as he slowly stood to his feet. With his sensitive hearing, he knew Hui-Yan was somehow not far behind.

“Should…I stay?”

Lilia laughed wildly, shaking off his jacket and loosening his tie as he cracked his neck side to side, “Worry not! I can handle her just fine…” Lilia dropped to the floor, positioned to start a sprint as he smiled to Malleus, “Say hello to Yuu for me, okay?”

Hui-Yan slammed the half-closed doors open, eyes blazing, “MALLE-UGH!”

Malleus watched with wide eyes as Lilia made a full tackle to Hui-Yan's stomach. The force of it enough to send them both flying through the doorway and crashing a good few feet down the hall. He stands in almost stunned surprise watching the two of them punch and tumble along the floor in a flurry of movement.

…

Well, it'd do him no good to stay there…

Malleus opened the door, casting one last concerned look to Lilia seemingly fighting for his life before he was off toward the school.

Stepping through the mirror, Malleus stopped beside a group of passing beastmen. He could barely raise his hand in greeting before the cat beastman gained a look of pure horror. He grabbed at his posse, shoving and dragging the other stunned and fearful-looking beastmen with him into the Heartslabyul mirror.

“...” He huffs, turning away and continuing his journey toward the school. He thought his reputation had improved. Of course, it wasn't enough for students to openly walk up and speak to him, but he could at least wave without them running in fear of his stature. Maybe he also needed to speak to Riddle…

The short walk to the main building only soured his mood more, students left and right were practically diving to leave his line of sight. He could slightly understand why, his expression must have been terrifying to have a passing canine Ignihyde student completely crumble to his knees. The dog beastman simply muttering to himself ‘Game over, game over.’

If this was a game, Malleus was not enjoying it. Just as the school building came into view, a scent seemed to tickle at his senses. Inhaling deep it was as if time itself stood still. He stopped at the base of the stairs, eyes staring unblinking at the looming castle in front of him. The smell was sweet, like fresh ripe fruits ready to be plucked from branches and eaten. A spice of some type of pepper, spicy and a hinted flavor to accompany the fruit’s juices. A flower he could not name, but so delicate in its scent he always feared breathing it in too harshly. The scent of his child of man, his dearest love and future partner for life.

And the second scent, the one that coated that first like the inky black tar of blot. Iron, heavy, rusted, and fresh. Blood, he smelled his love and blood.

He barely noticed, eyes locked on the school,  how the clouds gathered and darkened the sky. He entered the building, his storm slowly overtaking the sun with volatile green flashes trapped inside it. He didn't even care for the fear that was thick in the air at his presence, he needed to trace the scent of his poor injured lover.

Following the trail, he swings open a door and growls as his eyes scan the room. Professors looked up in surprise at his entrance, mugs frozen in the air at mid-sip. But he doesn't find Yuu. His growl grew in severity, electricity crackling around his body before he turned and slammed the door back closed behind him, ignoring the sounds of panic from within the room. The scent still went further into the school, then the field, then back into the school. Each new location giving him no relief from the maddening scent.

Opening a door only to be greeted with an empty classroom, Malleus let out a completely horrific growl. The sound of it almost clicking in his throat as it echoed vaguely in the air. His horns felt warm, the ridges slowly gaining a violent green glow as his worry steadily morphed into anger.

“...can't let him find out.”

“I'm aware, Jamil, but Lilia isn't answering and I can't distract him if I don't know where he is.”

Malleus's eyes snap to the corner, standing still as both Jamil and Azul walked around the corner. Azul was typing furiously on his phone, panic clear in eyes and nearly running into Malleus's prone form. Luckily, Jamil was still aware of his surroundings to stop Azul from walking into the ticking time bomb that was Malleus Draconia. 

Azul looks up as Jamil tugs him back, eyes widening as what little color he had drained from his face. He's quick to plaster a wide smile on his face, clasping his hands together as if he was trying to pray for mercy, “Draconia-San! What a…lovely surprise! I wasn't aware you were…going to be in school today…”

“...” He couldn't smell Yuu on either of them, not more than he normally could. Not to mention the smell of blood was just too strong for Malleus to fully focus on his ‘lovers in law’. As they stood in silence, Malleus waited for them to answer his unasked question. When they didn't, he hissed out, “Where?”

Azul perks up with a questioning hum, ignoring Jamil’s frantic grip to the back of his jacket, “Where…is what, Draconia-San?”

“Yuu, where is Yuu?”

“Yuu! Ah…ahahaha…well…you see…maybe we could sit outside and speak about it-”

Malleus stood over Azul, leaning into the cecaelian's face as he whispered harshly, “Either tell me where they are or you will go missing next…”

Azul simply smiled up at Malleus, sweat doting his forehead as he struggled to think up an excuse to curb the fae's anger.

Instead, Jamil sighed, bringing both their attention to himself, “We don't know where Yuu is. They cut their last class.” He braces himself against the overwhelming force of Malleus's magic pouring out, making the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, “Draconia-Sama…It may do you well to calm-”

Malleus fully turns to Jamil, fangs bared as he bites out, “How are you two this calm?” his eyes quickly look back to Azul, the Mer seeming to fully lose the color in his face, “How are you not in just a state as I am? Can you not smell the blood?”

The hall was quiet, neither Azul nor Jamil suddenly having the will to look Malleus in the eye. The fae looks between them in mild confusion, surely they'd be just as worried as he was. He knew they were still in the budding beginnings of their own relationship, but they were all more than fond of Yuu. They should be worried…unless.

The anger that builds in Malleus was palpable, the ridges on his horns glowing even brighter as he realized, “You knew.” Their silence only showed how guilty they were, Malleus nearly roared as electricity cracked along his body, “You both knew, and didn't tell me!?”

“It wasn't from any malicious means!” Azul somehow kept smiling, though from the look in his eyes and the tremble in his hands, Malleus knew it was more a fear response than any type of mocking.

“Well, tell me now. Why is our lover harmed and neither of you aware of their location?” their new round of silence was truly an insult at this point. He took deep, controlled breaths. They weren't working, the lights flickering in and out as his anger rose, “Well?”

“...” Jamil spoke up again, closing his eyes as though preparing for his own death, “We were sworn to secrecy-”

The growl Malleus released fully echoed through the halls, deep and ancient-sounding reverbs sending students into blind panic. Lights flickered and flashed before bursting overhead and sending the halls into darkness. He didn't bother responding to Jamil’s ludicrous statement, brushing past the two and following the fading scent of blood outside.

Jamil released a breath, his hand still gripping to the back of Azul's jacket. Looking over he grimaced. Azul was trembling, a panicked smile still plastered on his face as his eyes watered behind his cracked glasses, “Azul?”

The Mer turned to Jamil, lips parting to manage out a terrified squeak.

He sighs, pulling Azul along to drop him off at the nurse's office.

Bucchi tried to run from him, the hyena breaking out into a sprint as Grim did the second he locked his eyes on his form. He truly didn't blame him, Malleus could only think about the vision he made at the moment. Glowing horns, angered expression, the violent storm following his every step was also unhelpful. But Bucchi was nothing if not a survivor. It wasn't long after he had caught him that he stated Leona had taken Yuu home. That they were sick with some type of alien ailment.

As Malleus walked through the woods, his annoyance only grew with every step. He couldn't simply teleport to Ramshackle, the storm would easily destabilize without him to guide its path. While it could end the storm, it'd more likely cause it to go wild and turn into a literal hurricane. The campus may be filled with traitorous liars, but he couldn't allow such a fate to befall the local gargoyles. Many were far too old and fragile to withstand such a tempest…so walking it is.

The winds had easily blown away any scent of the blood, but the knowledge that Yuu was in Ramshackle was all he needed. Though he perks up, the smell of floral sand peeking through the winds. Bucchi had said Leona had taken Yuu home. Had he caught up to them? His expression fell when he only saw Leona walking the path. He huffs, eyes moving away and toward the peeking tip of Ramshackle's towers. Only to be hit in the chest with a powerful bolt.

Malleus slid back a few feet, momentarily stunned as he looked at Leona. The beastman kept walking toward him, pen glowing brightly grasped in his hand as he glared.

“Turn around. You're not seeing them like this.”

…

“Kingscholar, I truly never thought I would see the day you'd forfeit your life so easily…”

Leona has the gall to smirk, “Good. Cause I'm not, and you’re not going to Ramshackle throwing a fucking tantrum.”

The winds pick up around them, Malleus taking long strides to move past Leona, “You have no right to tell me I can't see them.” He dodged the second blast Leona sent his way. But the third was shot in quick succession the moment he moved to dodge the first, sending him another few feet back. He snarled, eye twitching as he snapped his head back up to Leona, “Kingscholar!”

“Draconia. Anyone ever tell you you’re a sturdy bitch?” he hisses, managing to dodge and fling up a shield against the onslaught of lightning. 

It was a dangerous dance for too long. On any other day, Malleus would find Leona's efforts to fight him adorable, admirable even, slightly impressive he had lasted this long one-on-one with him. But in that moment it only served to infuriate him further, willingly turning a deaf ear to Leona's words.

Leona huffed, a bead of sweat forming against his temple as he cast another shield for the dragon fae to slam into and lose speed. It wasn't enough to trap him, but he could still get a sense of enjoyment watching Malleus smack into the invisible walls, “Honestly. People have the nerve to call me stubborn when you can't even be bothered to listen.”

“Enough…”

A wave of lightning rushes directly toward Leona. The beastman clicks his tongue, changing his stance to crouch down and condense a shield around his smaller form. It was the only way he'd be able to make a spell strong enough to withstand the power Malleus threw around like nothing.

But Leona knew him getting hit wasn't Malleus's true goal. He simply needed his defensive range to shrink, giving him ample space to finally speed past him and to Ramshackle. He bit his lip, hating to leave his success to chance. He'd have one shot…

Malleus didn't care that Leona had managed to keep track of him through the spell and electricity. He didn't care about Leona anymore. Instead he readied himself to launch past the downed beastman, more than likely to pass by him and arrive directly to his lover's door. He dashed forward and his eyes widened as multiple things happened at once.

Surprisingly, Leona's shield drops in an elegant movement that redirects the still striking lightning away from his outstretched hand. Heartbreakingly, through the lightning strikes and howling winds, he hears the gut wrenching sobs of Yuu echoing from Ramshackle. Annoyingly, he feels Leona's hand tangle in his hair and pull hard. Managing to stop him mid sprint and to pull him off his feet, sending him falling to the ground hard on his back.

For a brief moment the winds stop, leaving only Leona's labored breathing and the sounds of distance rumbles. Malleus blinks, thoughts racing as he slowly propped himself up from the ground by his elbows. Yuu was crying. This illness was severe enough to make them cry. Kingscholar had thrown him. Yuu was alone and in pain and they hadn't even tried to call for him…others knew and he wasn't…important enough to know…Kingscholar had gripped him by the hair and tossed him like a sack of thorn forsaken potatoes.

Malleus blinks, looking up to the panting beastman standing over him. Only now did he realize how dark Leona's mage stone had become, how tired the other 3rd year looked.

Leona drops to a knee, hissing as he hit the dirt path harder than he was prepared for. Catching his breath he finally pockets his pen and rolls his sore shoulder, “Are you gonna fucking listen now?”

“They're crying…”

“Yeah.” Leona sighs, a hand pinching the bridge of his nose then dragging it through sweat misted hair, “As I've been telling you for the past twenty minutes. Yuu's going through some shit right now and isn't emotionally stable. And this-” he gestures to all of Malleus, ignoring the pout that the fae gains, “-is the last thing they should deal with right now…”

Malleus keeps quiet, glare slowly easing and casting his eyes to the ground. Without a word he pushes himself up, not offering a hand to Leona but watching in mild concern as the beastman groaned standing. He sighs, closing his eyes and only growing more distressed as his ears picked up more of Yuu's sobs, “Why didn't they call for me…?”

Leona shrugs, holding back his hiss as his muscles protest, “From what I can gain, this is a normal thing that happens. You know Yuu doesn't like talking about their original world. Not in a way that we'd want anyway…The heightened emotions made them realize some things and they're going through the motions.”

“They're crying as though someone is dead…”

Leona's eyes drift to the side, a soft sorrow in his own expression, an ear twitching as he listens to Yuu cry, “Yeah…crying alone helps sometimes when everything feels like shit. They'll be fine.”

“...” The wind blows, the hairs on the back of Malleus's neck raise as it brings a hint of blood back to his nose, “Did they say the…blood is normal?”

“Bleeding's the main function of it apparently…” Leona groans, stretching his back until a pop sounds, “Look. I'm not gonna hold your hand about this. Yuu's not feeling well and they'll tell you when they're ready to deal with your smothering.” Leona gives Malleus a single pat to his shoulder, gripping to push against the prone fae, “Go back to your dorm. If you go to see them right now, it's just gonna get you both into a tantrum…”

He didn't want to. He didn't want to leave, didn't want to listen to Leona's commands of all people. His dearest was hurting, alone…but they didn't call for him, they didn't call for anyone…

Malleus looks to the tips of the trees, Ramshackle's green shingles only gently bristled from the winds. Even with Yuu's sobs echoing in his ears, he finally lets Leona push him to turn around. He looks at the other 3rd year, voice soft, “They'll be ok without me…?”

Leona looks at him, sighing before he pats at Malleus's shoulder. The hand slips away and Leona walks ahead of him, “Send them a message in the morning. They'll call if they need someone. But, you can stand to get off your pedestal enough to ask for an invitation…”

Malleus watches Leona's tired body walk away, the beastman disappearing over the hill and through the trees. Giving one last look to the lone dorm, Malleus feels his heart go out to the heart broken person alone inside. He could still go, ignore Leona's efforts and simply walk to Ramshackle and ask to be let in. But…Yuu didn't want to see him nor anyone at the moment. It's why they hadn't called for him, why they sent Leona away. They wanted to be alone, and he couldn't fathom why…

But, he turned on his heel, walking the same path Leona had long disappeared from. As he walked the clouds thickened over head, darkening until a soft sprinkle had started to mist the campus.

The scene Malleus walked into was…comical. But it did little to lift his mood.

Surprisingly the locks and barricades had been lifted from the dorm, letting him walk in freely to Hui-Yan being tugged by her arms by Sebek's friends Deuce and Jack. Silver and Sebek both held onto Lilia's legs, trying to pull their mentor from the death lock Hui-Yan's legs made around his throat. It was painfully counterproductive if Lilia's blue-tinted face was anything to go by. The one-on-one fight seemed to have pulled everyone in, Silver and the first years looking at least mildly disheveled and lightly bruised. On one of the couches sat Ace, head tilted back as Epel yelled at him to not tilt his head back.

“You're gonna swallow blood, you dumbass!”

The thunder crack makes everyone jump and freeze, eyes quickly turning to his figure in the doorway. Malleus looked to the ground, already fully shamed as Hui-Yan glared at him. He spoke clearly, bending at the waist to bow in apology to his dorm advisor, “I humbly apologize. You were right to try to keep me in the dorm and I feel deep regret at the trouble I've caused you…”

Hui-Yan doesn't reply, simply unlocking her legs and causing Silver and Sebek to fall to the ground mid pull. Lilia took loud gasping breaths as he choked on air. The woman stands, rotating her arms to easily remove Jack and Deuce’s hold. She points toward Malleus, eyes glaring.

“When I tell you to not do something, it's for the benefit of you and everyone around you.”

“I understand professor Hui-Yan. I apologize…”

His only reply was a stiff nod, Hui-Yan turning to the first years, “You lot are coming with me, I'm delivering you to either your housewardens or your dorm advisor.”

They clearly didn't want to leave, but none of them wanted to be Hui-Yan's next victim. Not to mention the concerned glances they all sent toward Sebek. Each of them flinching at Hui-Yan's demand of ‘Line up’. The first years slowly lining up to be lead out of the dorm.

Deuce whispered toward Hui-Yan, “We tried to help…”

“You failed. March.”

Malleus walked past the first-years, eyes downcast and missing the pleading look Sebek was sending them. He sat on the couch in front of the fireplace, ignoring the first-years all trying to state they were helping and shouldn't be punished. The bitter feeling in him grew as he realized that they knew and deemed it necessary to keep him in the dark.

The creaking echo of the large double doors shutting leaves the lounge empty, silent. Soon Sebek and Silver join him on the couch, Silver placing a comforting arm on his shoulder.

“Were you able to talk to Yuu?”

“...” he sighs, shaking his head and staring into the fire, “They're truly ill…though I must say I'm saddened by the fact…they didn't call for me…”

Lilia had made his way toward them, flopping onto the couch as he wheezed and coughed, “Oh dear. The poor thing really is sick? We should still go see how they're doing…but…maybe tomorrow. Rest is after all the best medicine for ailments…” Just like how his bruised neck will be healed by the next morning light…

Silver nodded, smiling in hopes it would help raise Malleus's mood, “You can check on Yuu tomorrow. For now they can simply rest and-”

“It's not that simple!” Malleus stood from the couch, the fire flaring up along with his emotions. The horned fae scowled, pacing along the floor with clenched fists, “It isn't a simple illness. It's something from their world that we seem to have no understanding of!”

Lilia trades a concerned look with Silver, quickly standing back up to try and lead Malleus back to his seat, “Is it serious? Do we need to send for one of the palace physicians? I know the faculty have decided to avoid any kind of hospital visits, but surely one of the-”

Malleus shakes his head, scowl slowly looking more like a pout, “The faculty knows, their friends know, Azul and Jamil know, Leona knew before me. It's disheartening Lilia! For Yuu to be affected by such an illness that makes them bleed and cry and not be even alerted!”

Sebek flinches, eyes quickly looking anywhere but at Malleus while Silver and Lilia's expressions turn even more concerned.

“Bleeding? They're bleeding!?”

Lilia felt a new wave of adrenaline coursing through his body. Brain racking through years of travel to pinpoint any diseases he came across that resulted in bleeding, “We can…we can go over and check ourselves!”

“No…”

“Malleus.” Lilia gripped onto the once again sulking fae, nails threatening to rip into his school jacket, “Malleus if this is as serious as you state, they need a doctor.”

“Leona has assured me it's ‘natural’. Yuu will have to suffer through this ailment and then they will be returned to proper health…” Malleus looks away, frowning at his reflection in the grand window. Raindrops hitting against the glass, he brings a hand up to touch the pane, “I'm just…upset. They've been dealing with this for who knows how long…and they never reached out to me for comfort or remedy.”

Silver frowns, “Oh…this may be why Yuu canceled your outings?”

Malleus sighs again. If that were true then Yuu had been dealing with this ailment since Saturday. Everyone knew since Saturday…Yuu's friends most likely found out on Saturday, if not on Sunday…Malleus looks outside, frowning as he takes notice of Sebek facing away from him in the reflection of the window. Odd. Sebek normally focused all his attention to him when he was in this foul a mood. Malleus also realized that Sebek had been strangely quiet since he came back from classes early. No…Sebek had been quiet that morning as well. In fact…when was the last time he heard Sebek's echoing call? It was sometime on the weekend he realized, around…Saturday.

Thunder roared, a bright flash of lightning hitting dangerously close to the window making both Silver and Lilia jump in poorly held in surprise. Malleus turned in time with the flash of lightning, catching Sebek's terrified glance before the half-fae quickly turned his head away. He walked to Sebek's hunched-over form, bending at his waist and staring unblinkingly into Sebek's panic-filled eyes.

“...Sebek. Is there something you'd like to tell me?”

Lilia and Silver watched in mute astonishment as Sebek's face slowly cracked, his lemon green eyes quickly filling with tears as his bottom lip wobbled, “I…I…” He turned away, thrusting his phone just past Malleus's face in an effort to not slam it into the fae's nose. “I'M SO SORRY, WAKA-SAMA!!!” Sebek couldn't speak in clear sentences, a jumble of sounds escaping him between his sobs.

Lilia quickly walked over, ready to try to console Sebek as Silver looked surprised. The 2nd year gazed at Sebek as if he was truly seeing him for the first time, “Sebek you know how to keep secrets? From Malleus?”

“Silver, now is…not the time to be focused on that.” Lilia gave a pinched expression, arms already filled with sobbing crocodile fae.

“You can't fault me for being surprised.”

“I can and I will young man. Sebek is sobbing his heart out and-” Lilia stops short, watching Malleus's expression change from empty to slowly enraged, “Malleus…?” 

Silver leans closer to Lilia, watching in mild fear as the ridges of Malleus's horn light up, electricity crackling around him wildly the more he read off of Sebek's phone. With what could only be described as a death rattle, Sebek's phone fizzes out and was crushed in Malleus's hand with a heavy crunch.

Other than the horned fae's heavy breathing and Sebek's subdued sobbing, the room was completely silent. Malleus manages to calm himself, the destroyed phone slipping through his fingers as a serene expression crosses his face. As though the very act of crushing something with his bare hands was the true relief he needed that afternoon.

Malleus turns his gaze to Sebek, “Apologies for your phone Sebek. I will ensure you are given a proper replacement on my own expense.”

With a wet sniffle, Sebek nods his head, still afraid to leave the comfort of Lilia's shoulder, “Thank you Waka-Sama…”

“You're still in trouble.”

“Understood Waka-Sama.” Sebek replies, shoulders already shaking with a new wave of tears choking him up.

“Now, if you'll excuse me. I must send a digital message to my lover to request a meeting tomorrow.” With a subdued bow, Malleus disappears in a flash of green light.

Lilia pats at Sebek's back, cooing lightly, “You're not in trouble Sebek, I assure you.”

“T-thank you, Lilia-Samaaaaaaaaaa.”

“Okay…let it out…”

Silver reaches over, a single hand patting at Sebek's hair in comfort, “Well, I'm glad to see I made the correct choice in not going to school today.”

“Silver.”

[seirei-bh]

I'm trying to calculate or at least approximate in headcanon the ages that I think each character is in New Gen

First according to ep 5, Ysaline is 22 years old, since she says that she was 9 when her sister Tasha was 3, and now her sister is 16, (although since each sucrette is customizable, I think each player can have the freedom to decide what age prefer to imagine that they have their sucrette in New Gen, and that's what I'm going to do with mines)

Anyway, this also gives us a clue as to at least Thomas's current age. And also this other important fact: Thomas is 10 when OldSucrette (Lynn) is 17. So they are 7 years apart.

And there's supposed to be a 3-year time jump after Love Life to the special crossover ep. Since Lynn is 26 in LL, she is 29 in that special ep.

If we subtract 7 from 29, then Thomas is 22 years old. The same one as supposedly Ysaline canonically.

Now, it is much more difficult to estimate the age of the other characters. The only clue we have is that Elenda said in ep 4 that she was 6-7 when Devon was 10-11. Taking into account that many stories in video games, books and animes sometimes tend to use even and round numbers in big time-skips so that readers can easily remember the dates, it makes me assume that 20 years have passed since that time. So Elenda would be 26-27 and Devon about 30-31. Now the problem is that we don't know if Roy and Devon are the same age or if Roy is younger, we only know that they went to the same high school and so did Elenda, and these three met each other since they were kids, but I'm inclined to think that Roy and Devon were more like friends in a sense of older-younger brothers, since Devon seems older due to his features and behavior, so perhaps Roy is the same age as Elenda. I can be wrong though, and Roy and Devon being the same age, but this is what I think for now~

We also don't know Amanda's age, but due to her features, she appears to be around the age of Thomas and Elenda. Although Elenda in a scene from ep 3 defines herself as "the fairy godmother of Devenementiel" and says that she was there from the beginning, while Amanda seems like a recent member of the company, which makes me think that perhaps Elenda is a little older than Amanda.

Jason could be either Roy's age or Devon's age, but I'm inclined to think that it would be more convincing for Jason to be Devon's age, given his features, and since they are both company bosses and direct rivals, it would make sense for them to be the same age, and olders than the other crushes.

And Brune seems from her features to be somewhat older than Elenda, but perhaps not as old as Devon.

So my final conclusions are:

Thomas: 22 (the only age probably canon for now) Amanda: between 22-24 Roy: 26/27 Devon: 30/31 Jason: 30/31

Elenda: 26/27 Brune: 28~

There are other possibilities, of course. But the only thing we can be quite sure of is Thomas's age, being 7 years older than Lynn and the same as Ysaline, and that Devon is 4 years older than Elenda. It's also possible, for example, that they are all 22 except Devon and Jason being 26, but Rayan Zaidi is 33 in UL and Devon and Jason's features seem -at least from my pov- closer to that age than in the middle of the twenties~

Anyway, I'd like to know the opinion based on these calculations and/or headcanons of other players regarding this topic 💜

I guess we won't know until they confirm it in the game, if they confirm it in future eps, however if it is never revealed, I'd really like to know what the canonical ages of each crush are. So @chinomiko if you ever see this, please it'd be wonderful if you could answer this some day, or at least if these ideas are close to the canon. I know that the age of each character is something that doesn't have too much importance since everyone can imagine what they want, but I am especially curious about Jason and Devon <3 Besides these details are always useful for fanfic material.

[barbwritesstuff]

A copy/paste of a post I made on the CS forum in regards to Thicker Than:

-------------

I’m just popping back to post a quick update about my plan/process going forward.

My current plan is to continue drafting this story as it is. Once I have first draft, then I’ll go back and fix some of the issues that have been brought up here.

Top of the list:

*Fix confusing navigation in chapters 3-4.

*Add more opportunities to interact with allies in non romantic contexts. (Perhaps in groups so people don’t worry about losing romance routes but can still spend time and get to know various characters).

*Add more choice and variation to the trial scene (plus a potential aquital for vampires loyal to the Night Court).

I hope that’s okay. I think it’ll be easier to edit once I have the whole thing more or less together. That way I’m not going back and forth quite as much and it’ll be easier to know exactly where any jumps/skips need to go.

The latter half of Chapter Ten is very romance focused. Chapter Eleven is going to be very big and busy (depending on the playthrough) and I may end up splitting it into two, but I’m not sure yet. The game is already starting to fork towards the various endings (of which there will be five with variations in each). Some will be more involved than others, but I want to try and make them all rewarding in their own way.

I know it feels like choices that were made in part two are a little redundant, but I’m hoping later chapters might change some minds.

The tribute choice is still one of the biggest in the game (and whether or not it was actually paid) and the outcomes and consequences of that will start to come out more soon.

Not all consequences will be good. Again, I hope that’s okay.

I’m also hoping it’s not too frustrating waiting a little longer for the above mentioned fixes.

Thank you everyone for your honest feedback. This game is much more complicated than my last and it’s been a steep learning curve all the way (I’m never doing timeskips ever again 😅). But, with your help, I’m hoping the final product will be a really fun. 💙

[saffron-words]

Introduction and UtsuKare Translations Master Post

Some of you might recognize me as that Russian translator of Utsukushii Kare books from Wattpad. I decided to revive my tumblr to compile all the links and explanations here for those of you, MBM fans, who can't wait for official English releases of the books.

I could never keep a blog, so for now here I'll just tell how it all came about, and you can find links to all my MBM translations at the end (feel free to just skip the wall of text). So a couple of years ago I finally bowed down and decided to read Utsukushii Kare series in Japanese for language practice, even though I found the summary unappealing and I'm generally suspicious of overhyped media (as far as BL novels go, these books seemed to be The most hyped-up series in Japan). Much to my surprise, I loved it so much it was hard to move on. And while I waited for a chance to buy book 3 and Interlude, I gobbled up everything else related to the series that I could. The manga was only just starting, I didn't like dramaCDs (but I'm in the minority), and the drama somehow revived my love for watching Jdramas, even though I thought that this part of my fandom life has been over for years. When the second season started airing, I made a new friend in the Russian-speaking parts of the Internet who was even more obsessed with MBM than I am, and we fangirled to our hearts' content. At some point I promised her to translate the big sex scene from the end of book 3 as a gift for all the talks. I did, and since back then there was nothing for book 3 in any European language, as far as I know, I decided to post it online and give a link to English-speaking UtsuKare fans too. And since Wattpad doesn't allow copying text, and the browser translator feature from Google Translate was really inadequate, I also put up a link to the translation made with Deepl. As far as machine translators go, it is noticeably more comprehensible, and I didn't have the time (or skills to do the book justice, really) to translate it to English myself. Anyway, after this excerpt I thought I could manage one more important scene from book 3, then one more, and then I finally gave up and started translating it properly from the beginning. I also started correcting mistranslations in Deepl-versions that I kept doing for English readers, so some parts of the book are now much more readable than others. Now the third book is done and I started to work on book 2, Nikurashii Kare. I also translated several stories from Interlude and plan to do at least one more, but that is put on the backburner for now since I want to do as much of the book 2 as I can before book 4 in the main series comes out. Yes, we're getting a new Hira and Kiyoi book! This year too, probably. And unless it completely disappoints me or something terrible happens IRL, I plan to translate it as well.

So here are the links to everything I've translated from My Beautiful Man book series:

Book 3 "Nayamashii Kare" which continues the story past the movie (completed). The text is in Russian, but there are links to decent machine translations to English at the beginning of each part (I've also run through most of them and corrected the mistranslations). Or you can use the in-browser translation feature, but the results would be less readable.

Book 2 "Nikurashii Kare" which was technically turned into season 2 of the drama and the movie, but the script has deviated so much from the book, at times it's like a completely different story (in progress; about 1/4 of the book will be done with the next update which I plan on posting soon). I don't make Deepl translations for this since the official English release will be out in a couple of months.

Stories from other books in the series. The first part is a short scene from Nikurashii Kare, and the rest are stand-alone stories from Interlude. One of them had also been translated to English by Mauli before, but I didn't use her version when working on mine. The rest of the stories have never been translated by anyone else, as far as I know. These, too, have links to Deepl-versions at the beginning.

Disclaimer: my Japanese is not yet really on a level good enough to translate fiction, and there are bound to be mistranslations even if you read the original Russian versions. But I'm cross-checking myself on everything to try and keep those mistakes to minor things. I also know how to translate so I made sure that the text flows well, doesn't feel choppy and retains the same vibe that I get from reading the original.

[chynandri]

My Thoughts on Ratchet After 14 Years

This is nearly 5000 words of my analysis and impressions of Ratchet as a character (...there are pictures, at least 😃). I can't say I've been interested in any other character for this amount of time so - he truly is special to me. I wanted to externalize all I love and see in him in one post, more for myself than anything as I've held so many thoughts in my head for so long.

This is largely based on my own inferences. I won't bother to make proper citation or anything, it's more of a huge ramble based on me rewatching basically all cutscenes, the movie, and rereading the comics. Almost every year I do a big Ratchet and Clank marathon like this, but I might get some things wrong or skip over some things as I'm focusing on articulating my thoughts rather than being completely comprehensive.

Ratchet's Beginnings

Ratchet’s background is pretty fundamental to all this so let’s establish that first.

I will be basing this post on Ratchet as he is in the original games, but I do want to say that I like movie Ratchet too! I don't think it completely cancels out all my thoughts because imo they captured all the main traits of Ratchet. In one scene he says he wishes to 'matter'... to others, as a person, to the universe? Maybe all three. And that is truly the most concise way to describe what drives Ratchet the most.

But for now all we can do is infer on his life prior to Ratchet and Clank 1. I think it’s not too hard to make some assumptions based on the circumstances or a few lines:

1. Ratchet seems to have fended for himself/lived alone.

2. He is likely self taught on rocket mechanics and general machinery. He has an intuitive understanding of how machines generally work and wings it.

3. He has been on Veldin the whole time and never had the chance to go anywhere else. He also could not afford many things.

4. TV (or Holovision) is the most accessible form of media and likely what Ratchet grew up with, as he is aware of and looked up to heroes like Qwark and Ace Hardlight.

Given these inferences let’s look at how Ratchet behaves in 1. He awkwardly addresses authority figures, is rude to Clank and others - he’s just very blunt and critical of people’s intelligence. And why is that? Thinking of how he had to probably rely on himself first and foremost, having street smarts and situational awareness must be important to him. And that he’s likely not had friends before Clank - he’s not gonna know how to act lol. Besides that, he’s honestly just a Guy and a teenage Guy at that. This is his Very First Time outside of the backwater planet he’s been ‘stuck on’ (his words) and it’s extremely exciting for him. And what is the thing that consistently gets him excited and motivated to do things? Fame.

He loves the idea of being famous, like the celebrities he’s seen on TV and the ones he meets while on this adventure. And while this is a pretty common desire for kids, let’s think about why this is for Ratchet specifically.

We inferred that he probably has been alone up to this point. This means: no friends, no family (the movie also makes Ratchet explicitly say how he had absolutely nothing to his name.) Family as we know becomes a huge part of Ratchet’s character arc later on. No friends or family means no support system: no attention, love, or validation. You see what I’m getting at. Ratchet always responds with pride and excitement when others praise and recognize his actions - puffs up his chest and grins, it’s very goofy and all. But you have to consider how he likely just did not receive this validation much prior to 1. Now he’s doing all this stuff and getting recognition. This is how he ends up acting very selfish and self absorbed, the most prominent character flaw of his. In his eyes, Clank’s insistence on him seeing the bigger picture is just not as important as all this sudden attention and new experiences that finally validate his pretty lonely and insignificant existence.

And let’s consider that Ratchet and Clank are not even really friends until the end of the game. For the most part, they are useful to each other in their goals. When Clank claims that it ‘isn’t like Ratchet’ to not care about what’s at stake, Ratchet responds with ‘and what do you know about me?!’ - and it’s true, what DOES Clank know about Ratchet, or Ratchet know about Clank? Clank, too, hasn’t had a long time to exist yet and this is his very first friend. But he does have a natural charisma and strong sense of morality - which leads me into some more core aspects of Ratchet’s character and inner conflict.

Ratchet's Struggles

In the first game and onwards, Ratchet and Clank are kind of like rivals in certain things often for a gag. To put it simply - Ratchet has no rizz or game. Clank often catches the affections of both robot and squishy people. He DOES always know what to say without even trying. Clank always does the right thing. And that’s the thing… in these same situations of talking to girls, or making a speech or commercial - Ratchet tries too hard.

Consistently, when put on the spot, Ratchet freezes up and all his bravado is gone. He stutters and stumbles and is just a mess and Clank has to speak for them. Ratchet visibly shows how frustrating it is that Clank has more rizz than him. He’s clearly jealous of how Clank always knows what to say and do and people just seem to like him more. And his pal is the star of a TV show while he’s the bumbling side character who gets fired anyway. Not only is Clank ‘better’ than him, Clank is getting more validation and attention than Ratchet is - the one thing Ratchet has lacked in his life.

But let’s consider the first time a girl DOES actively like and pursue Ratchet - Sasha. The first time they speak is cringe but cute. Sasha is describing the state of the art gaming console on the Phoenix and Ratchet is so impressed he says in a daze ‘will you marry me? 😍’ AND IMMEDIATELY SLAPS HIS FACE cuz he really was just NOT THINKING. But Sasha doesn’t seem to mind, she goes along with it! I think she can tell he didn’t mean to. And although it’s not been long since they met, her father tells Ratchet ‘she’s said a lot about him’. And… when Ratchet is recounting his fight with the Teranoids, she’s giggling along and very engaged with how he’s acting out his story like the silly guy he is.

And although the first 3 games occasionally emphasize how heterosexually interested in girls Ratchet and Clank are based on Ratchet’s comments about girls - when Sasha kissed him he’s just… quiet and bashful and has no smartass ‘cool guy who likes girls’ comments. He obviously has no experience or idea of what really goes on with girls or relationships lol. If you think about it - has he even really tried to like… flirt? He’s all talk about it, but doesn’t seem to put it much into action. He also associates popularity with girls as a part of fame.

But - he pulled a girl without even leaning into status or fame. What I’m getting at here is: Ratchet didn’t try hard in front of Sasha and she was so endeared to him. She LIKES how goofy and cringe and, in a way, how pure he is. She was probably like ‘can you believe he wanted to marry me just because we got a PS5? Hehehe’ at her dad. He was just his cringe, rizzless self and talked to her like she’s anyone else. We can infer that Sasha, as the daughter of the President, is not used to that and likes it.

But let’s think about why Ratchet feels he’s suddenly got to be a different person when on the spot? He tries to sound cooler and more well spoken (like Clank, Qwark… people on TV!) but he’s no good without a script. In Deadlocked, he even felt like he had to rehearse a bit before calling Sasha (this is why Ratchet’s characterization there is a bit weird to me, when they’re supposed to be more comfortable around each other).

This is all indicative of how Ratchet is not confident in his sense of self - and where do we get a confident sense of identity from? Our friends, family, culture, community. Things Ratchet did not have a lot of before meeting Clank. Ratchet may have asked what Clank knows about him in the first game. But what does Ratchet even know about himself? What consistently gets Ratchet angry and protective is when Veldin ends up in danger. Veldin was really all Ratchet knew for a long time, and we can assume he sees it as part of himself. But beyond that…

This is why Clank is so… so… SO… important to Ratchet and why he could literally be nothing without Clank. Despite Ratchet being mad at Clank’s uselessness and stupidity in the first game, Ratchet is genuinely upset at the idea of losing Clank when lightning strikes him. He awkwardly suggests that he and Clank stick together at the end of the game without directly saying so. It’s his first time having a friend and wanting someone to stick around. In the end… he’s not as independent or self assured as he thought he was.

Size Matters may be a weird spin off game but it did have a pretty important line: after fighting the Ratchet clones, Ratchet tells Clank that these clones weren’t that powerful because ‘I’m not half as good without you.’ It’s a really significant thing to say, and this sentiment echoes all across the games. After all, without Clank’s robot ignition system - who knew how long it would take for Ratchet to get out of Veldin, if at all? Would Ratchet have gotten as far as he has now as a person without Clank?

It’s an admittance of how much Ratchet truly depends on Clank for self worth even if he feels inferior to him - Clank consistently supports, loves, and believes in him despite his flaws. He basically never had this presence in his life. Clank is like his whole support system while at the same time, a source of his feelings of inferiority and jealousy. Although as time goes on Ratchet does thankfully make more friends along the way. Even though Qwark is nothing but trouble to them, I suppose Ratchet still bothers with the guy cuz he’s just that loyal to the few people consistently in his life in some way.

Ratchet's Home

And this leads me to another point. Ratchet’s lack of belonging, identity, and validation ends up having him go from occupation to occupation, world ending situation to world ending situation. In the second game he is markedly different now that he’s got military training and surprisingly (to me) doesn’t question Fizzwidget that much (though the goofy rough parts of his personality still shine through while out in the field). Then he’s the captain of the Phoenix for a while. But overall he’s just kinda unemployed until he’s gotta shoot people and save the world. When given a sense of purpose and belonging he seems serious about it, though how long he has a purpose and group to belong to is relatively inconsistent.

Aside from the meta circumstance that the Ratchet and Clank games needed a new plot, it’s in the Future trilogy where Ratchet started thinking deeper about his origins. As we often have new revelations or thoughts about ourselves and past as we get older, I think Ratchet finally started to realize… there’s quite a big thing missing from his life - which to him was his ‘normal’. Why IS he one of the few lombaxes in the universe? Why did they leave HIM behind? You can imagine the amount of sad thoughts from just asking that question, when coupled with his already shaky sense of self worth.

The way Ratchet acts in Tools of Destruction is interesting. Although he could hardly be qualified as an expert on his own species cuz he’s never even been a part of lombax society - this is something Talwyn does not hesitate to tease him about, which he seems to not take so well. Yeah he gets it, he’s a disappointing representation of his people. And for some reason he acts like the spokesperson for lombaxes when they come under fire by Tachyon. He takes it all SO personally, as if he invented the dimensionator himself. Which then really becomes all about how he’s invented a series of not too successful inventions and sees Clank as someone who doesn’t support him enough. He uses the lombaxes as a way to validate himself: ‘oh, so a lombax can’t invent anything useful?’ he says derisively at Clank and you know it’s not JUST about the lombaxes as a group. Here he is finally finding the reason for why he is the way he is and that his inherited inventive spirit just isn’t appreciated enough. With the way this games story makes Ratchet feel stupid and inadequate at every turn for his lack of connection to the lombaxes, I can see why his worst personality traits jumped out with all his insecurities.

I think Ratchet wanted to lift himself up by association with the lombaxes, to say he IS lombax enough and he knows what it means to be one! Which then made him lose sight of what really mattered - destroying the dimensionator before it breaks the universe and no one is safe. And ironically, when Ratchet realizes this and refuses Tachyon’s offer to see his family, Ratchet embodied the heroism of lombaxes more than when he was trying too hard to prove he was one.

Now put into perspective how Clank fully finds HIS own purpose and origins in this trilogy. I read an interesting YouTube comment on a Size Matters cutscene video that said something like ‘Ratchet is so against the idea of technomites and the Zoni being real, because he always had a feeling Clank was meant for something more and admitting they were real is like losing his friend.’ I thought this was so profound because Clank truly is all he has and could leave him when he’s found his own purpose and family.

Especially since for a while, Ratchet was prepared to do so himself after learning that there is a chance to save his family with the Great Clock. Even if it meant not ever meeting or remembering Clank, the biggest person in his life. But Ratchet's character truly reaches its most mature in ACiT. Instead of reacting negatively to Clank finding his own home and family while having a possible means of fulfilling Ratchet and Alister's desires - Ratchet is supportive and willing to let go of Clank. Because after all, they have to be their own people and Clank has supported him long enough. Just because Clank has found where he belongs, doesn't give Ratchet any right to selfishly keep Clank to himself. I feel so proud of Ratchet in ACiT, as it was clearly hard for him to let go of such an important person in his life. But the combination of what he learned in ToD and from Alister's own life led him to be at his best in this game.

(But come on they're so inseparable there’s no way Clank would be happy without Ratchet either. Because that’s HIS very first friend in the whole universe that gave HIM a place to call home even if it’s just the two of them in a small garage. It’s RATCHET who decided that he wanted to actually be friends with Clank, beyond fulfilling their goals, at the end of the first game. They’re… each other’s home 😭)

Alister represented a major turning point in Ratchet's own definition of himself. And in the end he chose not to be like Alister, to not let his identity as a lombax control his life. Unlike Alister, Ratchet isn't bound to a childhood of belonging to lombax culture and society. And though Ratchet shared Alister's goal for some time, the way Ratchet goes back to rescue Alister when he was captured just goes to show that Ratchet won't think like him. It's just not in Ratchet's character as we know it to forsake the present when up to now he has always, always been about loving and enjoying the present moment and all he could do in it. From Ratchet chastising Clank for not being able to have fun, to being a guardian of all that he loves in the present... it is a beautiful progression of Ratchet's character.

Ratchet so far has been given two chances to finally reach what he thinks should validate his own existence. But he chose to protect the present, the universe he lives in, the people who already give him a sense of self - most importantly, he chose self-determination.

However, he didn't know he would lose Alister with this choice. But it was out of his control, as Alister was too far gone and would act regardless of what Ratchet said. The shock of not only losing someone like family to him, but the sole link to his past and family sends Ratchet into depression and grief. His choice to own his life is not made with triumph as it should've been, but with deep regret and fear. From this point on he truly has a different vibe to him. His energy is dimmed, he gets down on himself more easily. He had his fill of the validation of being a hero, and with Clank choosing to remain with him he's content to retire from it all and try to go back to the things that defined him from the very beginning.

And exactly so as in the comics he went back to Veldin and being a mechanic. Though Ratchet seems his usual, careless self the comics reveal the huge amount of underlying emotions Ratchet has been struggling with in the aftermath of ACiT. The comics have Ratchet going through an utterly terrible time, as someone whose mental health is already fragile: Veldin is in danger once again, Clank recklessly kills himself for an hour, and he nearly lost Talwyn for good. Ratchet almost loses the three crucial things that defined him. Talwyn, Clank, and Sasha help Ratchet work through his guilt over what happened and taking time for himself, while also making a point of how self-isolation isn't healthy for him.

And eventually, Ratchet does get back on his feet and involved with his friends again - but not unscathed, as one major issue would still affect him. The pain of loss leaves Ratchet with a deep fear of experiencing, or being the cause of it, again. And this wound would be reopened too soon with Into the Nexus where we see him struggle to cope with losing Cronk and Zephyr on his watch - if the events of the comics weren't enough...

Watching the scene with him hiding in the crate and refusing to come out, the distance between the goofy and prideful kid we used to know and Ratchet as he is now has not felt more evident. Into the Nexus really highlights how Ratchet at this point just wants a secure and permanent place to belong to. Tal is so important because she may really be one of the few people who could understand and relate to Ratchet. Her family is missing too, she’s been lonely her whole life too. She is a link to lombax culture. She was there for him when he lost Clank. They see themselves in each other, and I think the opening scene of this game speaks a lot to how comfortable and perhaps emotionally reliant they are on each other.

It‘s understandable that Ratchet would let go of the pursuit of finding the lombaxes for someone who not only needs him, loves and supports him just as he is - but also someone he almost lost for good. She is also home and his family, even when or if Clank chooses to go back to his Clock duties. Ratchet just doesn’t want to lose anyone else, can’t handle the possibility of losing one more person - so he finally decides to end his eternal search for purpose, belonging, and validation and cling onto his sources of such things that were in front of him the whole time.

But as fate would have it, Insomniac really will drag out this whole finding the lombaxes thing even longer lol. This is the logical conclusion to the Ratchet and Clank story as of now, so Ratchet isn’t allowed to give up just yet.

Ratchet's Heart

WHY I started thinking so deeply about Ratchet’s character is because of how he is in Rift Apart. I LOVE Ratchet and Kit’s friendship so much because it highlights and reveals so much about each other!!! There’s probably a reason why Kit and Ratchet share a colour palette, and it’s because they’re kinda parallels:

1. They’ve let bad experiences in the past control their present and future - but it limits their world as a result. (Interestingly, Alister also let the past rule his life. But he was so obsessed with righting the past that he would endanger the present. Ratchet learned what not to do from Alister, but he kinda ended up being a different version of him.)

2. They’re both afraid of getting hurt and causing hurt - so they avoid it. They both have a tendency to hide away when feeling bad about themselves. They’re both seen as cowardly for this (Vendra and Rivet judging Ratchet for being too scared to find the lombaxes).

3. Ratchet’s advice to Kit when it comes to socializing is ‘don’t overthink it.’ I’d love to make a connection here to how Ratchet would overthink what to say on the spot or overcompensate for himself in the past.

Kit is potentially dangerous and doesn’t know how to be a friend. She’s caused real hurt before. But Ratchet accepts and believes in her, and is adamant about expanding her world, seeing all the good in her, and encouraging her to grow. Ratchet knows what it’s like to not be perfect, to be stuck somewhere, to make mistakes, and be rough around the edges. I believe this is why he is so kind to Kit, providing the validation and belonging and opportunity he would’ve wanted for himself.

And it’s to Kit that he opens up about his anxieties. Ratchet’s true feelings about finding the lombaxes… he’s so… defeated, unsure and doesn’t think much of himself anymore. This was also evident in how anxious he was about the parade celebrating them at the beginning of the game. Yet another indicator of how different Ratchet is now - younger him would’ve loved all the attention even if ‘unearned’ (cuz they haven’t been a hero for a few years). It’s crazy because he’s done SO MUCH and yet - from the way he talks to Kit he still doesn’t feel like he measures up to how great the lombaxes are. Or his parents, judging by his apologetic tone when he explains that his dad tried so hard to keep the dimensionator safe.

And let’s think on this idea of not measuring up - his self worth issues, he’s not exactly a successful inventor, overall flawed and clumsy personality, seems to only be useful for shooting some bad guys, plus not being able to prevent the deaths of some people very important to him - it becomes clear why he thinks so little of himself in comparison to the lombaxes legacy of being brilliant heroes and creators. Beyond the misfortunes that seem to happen around the dimensionator, Ratchet’s problems stem far deeper into his sense of self. So he tells Kit that even if the lombaxes are the perfect family - would they be disappointed in him, or he disappointed in them? He also doesn’t want to lose the life he has now, not when it has finally given him some stability.

But it is Ratchet’s very own kindness and faith in her that allows Kit to turn this issue on its head and address the crux of the problem and reveal the precious thing that ultimately defines Ratchet and his identity - perhaps more than wanting to matter and belong, what he had almost lost over the course of his life up to now.

I would like to say that in a word, Rift Apart is about possibilities. The alternate counterparts of Ratchet’s world and all the implications of it exemplify this.* The Clank sections directly use this word I believe, as he helps Gary fix the dimensions.

*(I don't know where else to fit this observation, but the ways Rivet and Ratchet contrast are somewhat relevant. Rivet, unlike Ratchet, has friends and a group to belong to earlier on in her story - so she doesn't end up falling into the same character pitfalls of being selfish or self absorbed. She and Clank share that big picture awareness. But she's lonely in a different way: having to be strong for herself and everyone else, she's a Ratchet that doesn't know how to be open and vulnerable. I just wanted to point out how cool it is that they considered all this as a 'counterpart' to Ratchet.)

‘Possibility’ is also probably… at the very heart of Ratchet’s character.

One of Ratchet’s defining character traits is his recklessness. He risks too much, takes too many shortcuts, doesn’t think enough when he should. But this is precisely why Ratchet is amazing at the same time. Of course it’s good he grew more careful as he got older. But the big thing to take away from his anxiety about finding the lombaxes and him wanting to stay safe and content with what he has is that - he’s almost lost that crazy and beautiful ability to risk it all and take a chance. Namely, on himself. And it’s ironic because he convinced Kit to risk it all and be friends with him, to go out into the world she’s so afraid of! And this is exactly what Kit points out to him, and expresses her belief that finding the lombaxes will turn out alright for him - even if he still struggles to believe so.

In the way he loves living in the moment, pushing himself to the limits, making weird inventions, pulling off unsafe stunts, throwing together scraps to fix and modify things against better judgement, trying to beat the odds, befriends strange little robots that are just as odd as him - Ratchet thoroughly, intrinsically embodies possibility. If you have nothing to define you, then you have so much freedom to define yourself. And that has been Ratchet’s whole life. Being able to not only think of all that’s possible, but being brave and silly enough to try to achieve them - that in itself, is an extremely valuable gift.

Ratchet is just not the same anymore because he is scared to be and act on what is the most natural and fundamental to him as a person - lest it lead to immense pain and loss. And as I have established multiple times in this post: Ratchet is at his best when he allows himself to just be… himself without pretense. Perhaps Clank knows or doesn’t know this, but he took it upon himself to try to help Ratchet find what makes him whole and himself again. Because the people around Ratchet can see that him completely giving up on what is in his heart would be truly sad and a loss to the universe he loves so much.

Ratchet and Clank were always meant to keep expanding their universe and themselves! That is the very spirit that propels this franchise. And by the end of Rift Apart, and even if Ratchet is still scared - he’s going to find the lombaxes, scared. He’s not going to give up on himself anymore: just as he didn’t want Kit to give up on herself, didn’t want Rivet to give up on Kit, and how Clank never ever gave up on him, believing in the possibility of him being a good and worthwhile person from the very start.

I feel really optimistic for Ratchet and wonder how they will (possibly?) end his character arc in the next game. I’m deeply grateful that Insomniac still cares about this franchise, and cares about Ratchet as a character so much. It truly is a unique privilege, I think, to see one character’s story develop and grow and change over a decade. I love Ratchet and all he is and represents so, so much.

[randomyuu]

so hold my hand (consign me not to darkness) [1/4]

Ah, yes. The fic that made me realise I’m in desperate need of Cursed Spirit Gojou in my ever-growing favourite GoYuu tropes.

Content Warning!

Major Character Death. Other characters are disrespectful to the corpse.

I highly suggest you read the fic first, or just the fic, since I don’t think I was properly able to adapt it into drawings. While I managed to use roughly two weeks of on-and-off planning, researching, and storyboarding, I only had a full week to finish it. You can read more of my thoughts below the comic if you’re curious.

Title: so hold my hand (consign me not to darkness)

Author: qalb_al_louz

It’s ongoing, and as of this drawing, the fic is in its third chapter. While this is (sexually) SFW, always be mindful of the tags! Please keep yourself safe and sound.

Please read from right to left, and enjoy!

You can only upload 30 images in one post, huh Damn, I gotta divide it into parts

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Alrighty, I'll put my watered down unhinged thoughts below. No extra drawings down there if you're curious haha (unless you want to see the storyboard and the characters' full body character sheet, lemme know). You can skip the stuff underneath the Keep Reading for all parts.

This fic had me grinning from ear to ear every time I read this. The atmosphere, how it goes from POV to POV—of pure fear and panic—and the peak excitement I got when Yuuji properly meets Gojou, like brooooo 😭

Gosh I cannot emphasise how much I love this fic. I’ve always been wanting to make a whole comic out of it, especially since it was 2 chapters and it doesn’t look like the author will update it, but it just… kind of forgotten ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

But then the author posted a new chapter and I told myself this is a sign I should really start.

also goddamn I was so naive to think I can tackle 2 chapters as comic—no I was in fact cannot

The moment I laid my eyes on the first paragraph, things were portrayed very vividly in my mind. The panel, the angle, Gojou's head rolling down... I was like, hell yeah. Then I continued reading and I finally succumbed to my desire to draw this out.

At first I want to adapt this into a vertical format like those manhwas. However the longer I try to learn and storyboard it... I am simply not yet comfortable with it, especially for such a big project. Even the 1st storyboard starts vaguely vertical before the panels quickly crammed into that B4-B5 format lol. The first sketch estimated 69 (heh) pages for 90% of chapter 1. I said "no" for my own sanity and fully focused on the usual manga format and it was narrowed down to 60. Still a lot though, quantity and time-wise. So with a heavy heart, I can only do the majority of chapter 1 :”) I really really want to draw Sukuna talks back to Gojou—do you have any idea how good that scene was??? Gojou tried so hard to restrain himself, he’s so other I love him 😭

Due to the sheer length of this comic (I'm still in disbelief), I have limit lots of things, and that includes the drawing. If you've seen my other JJK fanarts, they are more rendered than this one. Well, this one is purely sketched with the help of the eraser to tidy up some lines. This is also the first fanart that I did purely on Photoshop, so I can control the typesets and drawings in one place. Usually, I use Photoshop for panels and typesetting and Krita for drawing.

I don't really like Photoshop's brush, but it did really well in curbing my perfectionist tendencies, so that's good.

It's also been quite a while since I draw in general (sobs) so... yeah, you might find differences, or not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

I know setting is important, but maaan I genuinely won't miss rereading chapter 83-93 with a heavy focus on background and character locations. I just want to read the action and dialogue😭 However continuity is really important. But my spatial intelligence is almost non-existent even GPS sometimes can't help me. All I'm saying is that if you find some silly drawing mistakes, do forgive me ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿I only drew all this in a week because otherwise I won't have another chance to complete this.

Well, lots of things I won't miss from this project, but haha let's talk about the characters instead because holy shit what was I thinking, starting this year drawing this many characters in the same project??? I have never drawn anyone here except for Yuuji, Gojou, Nanami and Megumi. I don't think I've ever drawn older Getou before. I already forgot how to draw my boy Yuuji and I gotta draw all these people???

This is what you call making a bad decision, kids. Don't do your "drawing warmup" after months of not drawing and tackling a project of a scale way bigger than you've ever tackled before.

Thank you for reading this far! I hope you find my complaint entertaining! But make no mistake, I genuinely still love the fic. Drawing this, even with all the headaches it gave me, only makes me adore this fic even more.

Thank you very much to each one of you who follows and leaves comments and tags on my silly art—it never failed to make my day :D And I sincerely wish this one also made your day or even made your minute! I'll see you in the next part!

[blue-grama]

The Sign finale probably should have disappointed me, but... didn't?

It's been a heck of a run lately with Thai BLs that haven't quite stuck the landing, and it's got me pondering why The Sign worked for me despite sometimes feeling like a storyboard for a longer, better show.

I don't think they pulled off the emotional payoff they needed, despite that last reunion scene being so pretty and well-acted, simply because too much happened offscreen, from Khem's recovery from a gunshot wound to the entire multlifetime Tharn/Chalothon dynamic getting resolved without us seeing any of it. But somehow I wasn't that mad about it? And ultimately I think it's because this show did so many things well and so many things I'd love to see more of that I'm just like, yep, I enjoyed that ride sirs, please show me something this gorgeous again. In that sense it's joining something like Manner of Death or Kinnporsche where it's like, plot holes? Yes. Bizarre tonal shifts? Absolutely. Occasionally insane writing choices? Uh-huh. Love it anyway? You betcha. So here's what really, really worked for me:

Premise

I am always going to be onboard with QL that isn't solely coming-of-age or coming out. I'm not against those stories, of course, but give me gay romance with adult characters who know themselves and are doing adult things. I'm also a partisan for romances with high external stakes, so the mixture of crime and reincarnation was catnip to me.

Do I care that none of this training makes any sense? No.

2. Setting

Listen. Is The Sign the reason I have a document on my laptop titled "Imaginary trip to Thailand without ever seeing a beach?" Not exactly. But it's also not not the reason.

I am being willingly manipulated by the Thai Tourism Authority.

Kidding, kidding, but I do love when my Thai shows feel Thai or my Korean shows feel Korean, etc etc. I want to be driven to Wikipedia to learn more! Half the fun of watching stuff from not your own country.

3. Chemistry

I think @biochemjess covered what was underwritten about the romance in The Sign. Billy and Babe carried it on their backs and it was hard to dislike their romance, even when the series skipped over key beats.

Any time the pink lighting came out, you were gonna be in for a good time.

4. The camerawork

I don't know enough about film to speak intelligently about this, but the camerawork and aesthetics of this show were just so lovely to watch. It was really doing a lot. @chaos0pikachu wrote about it better than I ever could.

LOVED THIS. LOVED IT. So good.

We had some really lovely storytelling and visual parallels, too, like the first episode and finale both having a big action warehouse scene, or the multiple times that Phaya and Tharn ended up overlooking the Mekong river.

5. It was always kinda off the rails

I know some people felt this show started out with a strong premise and didn't live up to it, but I gotta say, I didn't have that experience. It was always kinda a bonkers watch for me. There were long training montages, random bodies in the shallows, missing genitals, extended performance art, that comedy flashback to Khem and Thongthai's college years... I never knew what I was going to get each Saturday. And I kind of loved that? I'm into unhinged. I was comparing this in my head to Last Twilight, which did disappoint me in the end, and I think it's because Last Twilight was NOT always bonkers and DID set itself up to tell a straighforward story, then dropped the ideas it had been juggling in the last episode. The Sign always felt chaotic to me, so a chaotic ending was par for the course. This is where I'd compare it to KinnPorsche, which had the weirdest fucking ending, but like, okay??? Why not!

End result? I see the flaws, but I'm giving this show tender forehead kisses anyway. Here's hoping for more like it.

[zahri-melitor]

Spoilery thoughts on Batman #148:

This story was pretty clearly drafted to be a 5 or 6 issue story, probably originally resolving in #150 as bringing the family together is a nice round number issue sort of event. My best guess is that the Nakano and Vandal Savage plot and some more of the back ups around the captured villains got cut to the bone to speed things up after Zdarsky was told #150 was needed for Absolute Power (and #149 is apparently doing the epilogue to set up for whatever goes on in Absolute Power). There’s a couple of really clear “and we just skipped 3-4 pages” sort of moments in the shape of the script for this issue (and in hindsight in #147) that if it had been allowed even an extra issue the story would have more space to breathe.

And despite that revised pagecount, Zdarsky still manages to deliver the moments he wanted to bring for Dick, Babs, Jason, Tim and Damian, so I’m impressed by that. Cass unfortunately did get relegated, but if I’m being objective about this, DC’s still waffling over whether Current Cass is adopted or not, and Zdarsky was already juggling a big list of characters (plus part of the point of having a big cast is that you don’t HAVE to focus on all the cast).

I did like how much space Zdarsky still found for the Damian-Tim-ZEA Robin plot. That did NOT resolve the way I predicted from the costume’s first hints in the background (I was totally on team ‘Tim puts on the costume sacrificially to try to get through to ZEA Bruce thinking he can handle this, and gets brainwashed’), but it was satisfying in terms of acknowledging Tim and Damian’s relationship (it was giving me Gates of Gotham vibes, which are the best Tim and Damian working together vibes), there was more discussion of the different elements both bring to the role of Robin and what’s good and bad about each, and how ZEA Robin doesn’t understand what makes you Robin. It was a pretty balanced fight scene. Tim gives Damian an assist, Damian gives Tim an assist, Tim’s a bit too overconfident and pays for it, Damian was a bit petulant about having to sit part of it out (though being tied up is like, PURE Robin aesthetic).

As far as the costumes go for the Robins Fight scene: honestly, switching Tim into a darker costume that was black and green with red accents complemented Damian’s black and grey with red accents aesthetic well, and contrasted with the ZEA costume being so bright red and yellow (which is playing off the original red, yellow and purple ZEA suit). Jimenez also gave everyone a different mask shape, which also helped distinguish everyone when you have three ‘Robins’ appearing in the same fight. All the Bat redesigns at the moment are leaning into darker palettes, and I appreciated the choice to go back to green as Tim’s ‘colour’, rather than red, given: his pre-2006 history used to use green quite often as his distinguishing colour; he can share it with Babs (team green for the computer nerds!); it’s not a colour they’ve particularly focused on for Damian for ages; and it gets him out from under having to share colour palette with Jason, given Jason can’t keep a costume consistent for a year.

It’s fine. It’s not my favourite Robin design I’ve ever seen, it’s not the worst Robin design I’ve ever seen (even on Tim), and it made the fight a lot clearer to follow.

I really liked that Barbara’s contribution was Oracle based and it made her inclusion make sense. I cackled at Dick getting to punch Daniel Captio (I was having serious echoes of the Cave argument in Bruce Wayne: Murderer/Fugitive, and from Tim’s delighted face for that punch I think Tim was too).

In terms of Jason, having him volunteer to take on the Lazarus-linked part of the plot and tell Bruce “let us have control of our own decisions” IS the resolution and apology for the mind alteration plot (which I am still pretty sure was a Rosenberg driven decision, not a Zdarsky one, in Gotham War), and look. That’s the sort of resolution you get a lot for comics plots. They’re cool. It was never going to end up as a big song and dance.

I like that the resolution pulled everything back to Failsafe. Good way to round off 2 years on the title. Nice extended story arc, with shout outs all the way back to #125.

I did have to laugh at Nakano calling Cass, Steph and Duke ‘child soldiers’ though. Those are all actual adults, sir! Even Duke’s supposed to be 18+ now.

[bowletta]

SRMTHFG Watch Guide

Hi everyone! I made a list for newcomers who are interested in watching SRMT but don't know where to start! : ]

'Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!' (Yes, that's really the title, 'SRMTHFG' for short) was a cartoon that aired from 2004-2006 on Jetix/Disney Channel.

It's about a boy and his team of cybernetic monkeys saving the universe from the evil Skeleton King. It sounds ridiculous... but it is so unironically good. There is plot. There is trauma. There are wacky antics. You can watch the entire series on YouTube, in HD, for free lol.

There's two versions of the show:

1080p HD, widescreen, censored (YouTube Link)

480-720p, cropped, uncensored (YouTube Link)

Personally I would recommend the HD cut. I am working on compiling every censored scene, nearly all of which are under 3 seconds (graphic violence, blood, etc.).

Under the read more is a guide to what episodes to watch, avoid, etc.

Symbol Guide:

Regular Text: Fine episode, but not required

*: Plot relevant

Bold Text: Good episode

Red: REALLY good episode

Strikethrough: Bad. Skip.

Season 1:

Chiro's Girl*

Depths of Fear

Planetoid Q

Magnetic Menace

The Sun Riders

Secret of the Sixth Monkey*

Pit of Doom*

Thingy

Flytor

A Man Called Krinkle

Ape New World

Circus of Ooze

Hidden Fortress*

Season 2:

Skeleton King*

World of Giants

The Lords of Soturix 7

In the Grip of Evil*

Versus Chiro*

Shadow Over Shuggazoom

The Sun Riders Return

Hunt for the Citadel of Bone*

Snowbound*

Wonder Fun Meat World

The Skeleton King Threat

Antauri's Masters*

I, Chiro*

Season 3:

The Savage Lands: Part I*

The Savage Lands: Part II*

Season of the Skull

A Ghost in the Machinder*

The Stranded Seven

Girl Trouble

Brothers in Arms

Monster Battle Club Now!

Meet the Wigglenog

Big Lug

Prototype*

Wormhole*

Belly of the Beast*

Season 4:

Galactic Smash: Space Attack

Galactic Smash: Game Over

Incident on Ranger 7

Ghosts of Shuggazoom*

Invasion of the Vreen

Evil Ages

Night of Fear*

The Hills Have Five

Demon of the Deep

Secret Society*

Golden Age*

Object of Hate*

Soul of Evil*

TLDR; Here's a condensed list of good/plot episodes you should watch if you don't want to watch all 52 episodes VVV

Season 1:

EP 1 - Chiro's Girl*

EP 6 - Secret of the Sixth Monkey*

EP 7 - Pit of Doom*

EP 8 - Thingy

EP 13 - Hidden Fortress*

Season 2:

EP 1 - Skeleton King*

EP 4 - In the Grip of Evil*

EP 5 - Versus Chiro*

EP 8 - Hunt for the Citadel of Bone*

EP 9 - Snowbound*

EP 12 - Antauri's Masters*

EP 13 - I, Chiro* (Best EP of the series in my opinion)

Season 3:

EP 1 - The Savage Lands Part I*

EP 2 - The Savage Lands Part II*

EP 4 - A Ghost in the Machinder*

EP 5 - The Stranded Seven

EP 7 - Brothers in Arms

EP 10 - Big Lug (SO many good reaction faces)

EP 11 - Prototype*

EP 12 - Wormhole*

EP 13 - Belly of the Beast* (Tied with I, Chiro for best EP)

Season 4:

EP 4 - Ghosts of Shuggazoom*

EP 5 - Invasion of the Vreen

EP 7 - Night of Fear*

EP 9 - Demon of the Deep

EP 10 - Secret Society*

EP 11 - Golden Age*

EP 12 - Object of Hate*

EP 13 - Soul of Evil*

Thank you all for coming to my TED Talk on these silly monkeys lol, I hope you all have fun watching!

(Gif by @/sweetcircuits)