#I simply cannot drive at night I can't see shit

[lastoneout]

I always do wonder why people say those bright ass LED headlights are safer. I used to live out in the middle of Actual Nowhere and there were zero streetlights and we got around fine at night with normal headlights. But these days, regardless of if there are streetlights or not, basically any time we've been driving at night my fiancé and I haven't been able to see so much as the lines on the road because of all the ultra-bright headlights around us. There's no way that's safer?? Like I guess I can see other cars but I certainly can't see The Road or any pedestrians/bikers. It just doesn't make sense to me.

[rinkkuma]

୨୧ BF KAISER

ft. michael kaiser

tags. gn!reader, a bit of cussing, all fluff ! / author's note. I HATE HIM!!!!!! (affectionate) also kaiser with a man bun *FOAMS FROM MOUTH*

sleeping with him is the absolute worst. either he will be all over you and squeezing you tight or stealing the blanket from you, there is no in between.

he loves having self care nights with you!! insists to put on face masks and wash your face for you. totally not to just touch you

ALWAYS has his hands on you one way or another. whether it be holding hands, an arm around your shoulder, or leaning on you, he is touching you.

since he normally wakes up before you, he likes watching you sleep, not in a creepy way he thinks you look absolutely gorgeous in your sleeping state.

loves staying up late with you and doing random stuff. talking about random stuff, binging a show/movie, or simply just cuddling with you in silence he enjoys it so much. i firmly believe he prioritizes his quality time with you.

his hugs are the best!!! he's so warm and he doesn't squeeze too tight or too loose, it's just right!! if he doesn't see you for like a few hours though he squeezes the shit out of you

surprisingly a good cook. you constantly wake up to breakfast in bed, your favorite lunch meal, and a 5-star dinner. he has some corny ass apron that says: “mr. good lookin' is cookin” and you can't help but giggle every time you see it, and he's so confused.

WILL give you his jacket if you're cold. it does not matter if he feels like he'll freeze to death too, he will give you his jacket.

has you set as his phone wallpaper. one week it's a pretty candid photo of you, and another week it's a silly off guard photo he has of you. whenever you think you look bad or not, kaiser thinks you look absolutely gorgeous in all of the photos he has of you.

shares a spotify account with you to see what you listen to and what time! if he ever sees you online at ungodly hours of the night he sends you a ‘go to bed already!!!’ text. he's totally not awake either

swings your hands when you two are walking and holding hands. (24/7 basically) he will only start to swing them a little more if you try to stop him.

he unconsciously smiles whenever he sees you smile. he doesn't even realize it until you or someone else points it out, and only drives him more insane because of the effect you have on him.

gets matching necklaces for the two of you with each other's initials. he wears it 24/7, only taking it off before showering. he loves when someone points it out, and starts rambling about how amazing you are.

remembers all of the important dates. your birthday, anniversaries, you name it. he would rather die than forget an important date.

speaking of birthdays, he is always the first one to send you a birthday text the second the clock hits midnight. he pre-types his long paragraph talking about how grateful he is for you and such a week in advance and adds to it on the days leading up to your birthday.

his feet are always cold and it is the worst in the winter because he wakes up and decides to be annoying and puts his cold ass feet on yours. he then looks at you with a smile as if he hasn't done anything wrong ever.

loves going shopping with you!! he loves the way your eyes light up and lips curl up into a small smile when you see something cute. he loves the mini fashion shows you give him when you try on stuff. he will hold all your bags and pay for everything. he is hopelessly in love with you.

pridefully hands you his hoodies to wear because he wants to see you wear it. he giggles in his head when someone points it out because he's happy people notice you wearing his hoodie.

has the iphone sci-fi ringtone as his alarm. he set it one day as a joke and now he doesn't have the heart to change it. despite waking up to it dozens of times, you physically cannot get used to it. he claims he can't change it because of a emotional connection to it now, but you feel other wise. just to annoy you

soo good at flirting it's actually annoying. he's a natural smooth talker and knows exactly what makes you flustered.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

thought you might enjoy this one, raven ;) how about headcanons of rollo and malleus who are crushing hard on g/n reader but the twist is that reader is dating/in love with their mortal enemy...THE OTHER GUY. what will rollo and malleus do? try to steal reader away to spite the other person? I eagerly await to see what you'll do with this prompt!!!

*rubs hand together* They're both emotionally repressed and silly little guys that I will happily torment 😈 This prompt reminds me of fjsbsjxvksnwkw this video…

I can now use Dorm Uniform artworks for the banners, yay--

Curiouser and Curiouser…

Emo Boi era? Emo Boi era.

Malleus is used to being alone. He’s used to it and yet… it has never felt this frigid, with needles of ice that prod his skin and scales with each step, the loneliness seeping into his blood and bones. The chill always comes when he sees you with Flamme—smiling, laughing—or when you turn down his invites to walk alongside him. “I already have plans with my boyfriend,” you’d say, and he’s encased in ice. “Sorry, maybe another time?”

It’s not just him that experiences the consequences of his gloomy mood. His classmates and the immediate surrounding environment also suffer. When Malleus passes, he brings with him angry thunder or hail the size of golf balls, floods the hall or brings a blanket of snow up to your knees. Everyone walks on eggshells, scared to do or say something to set him off.

He retreats from those rejected outings and spends the evenings alone, walking around campus to hit up all the gargoyle spots. Malleus laments to the gargoyles (and to Gao-Gao Dragon-kun), sharing about his romantic troubles. On the days when his mood is so sour he cannot even take his usual strolls, Malleus holes up in his bedroom with a blanket and a tub of ice-cream. He'll pout and indulge in the sweet frozen treat to chase off his sorrows, all while watching historical dramas and soap operas to temper his envy.

He savors the little victories, times when he’s able to have you for a moment of solidarity. Nothing is quite as enchanting to him as seeing how the sun blooms in your eyes when he performs what he considers such minor tricks—sparks of light that dance in the palm of his hand, a flower pulled from midair. (He considers flexing his magic small acts of revenge against Flamme too.)

... How is it, then, that you smile brighter still with him, when he abstains from the miracle of magic? The frustration is enough to make the light flicker out, and the flower crumble into ash. It’s not fair, Malleus thinks, that Flamme should come in to steal away the one I’ve had my eye on long before he has. Dragons can be territorial and possessive creatures—and you’re the treasure he’s guarded for so long.

His retainers awkwardly try to comfort him. Silver isn’t quite sure what to say, Lilia gently reminds Malleus that there will be others that take his breath away (“If you love them, then you must also learn to let them go,” Lilia had sagely advised)… and Sebek is Malleus’s personal hype man. He goes on for hours and hours about how “the human has poor taste in men!!”, shit talking Rollo, and extolling his young master. At one point, Sebek even advises that Malleus reveal Rollo’s misdeeds to you just to prove “the difference in nobility” between the two.

Malleus would be lying if he said he hadn’t considered any and all options. All it would take is the wave of his hand to decimate any rival, mage or no. Perhaps he could spin a curse to drive the others off, or simply whisk you away under the cover of night. But the longer he lingers on the ideas, the more they make his heart ache. No, he cannot bring any of them into fruition—he can't bear to see your happy expression shift to that of fright, the same way everyone else seems to regard him. Caving to his basest desires—it would be proof of the monster they see in him. It would make Rollo right.

It would be discourteous of me to intervene in another's personal affairs. It's his final decision, the mantra he recites to himself over and over and over again. Let go, and move on. Let go, and move on. Yet in his heart of hearts, he has not accepted it, cannot cut away the last of the threads that bind his feelings to you. Malleus is plagued by fitful nights, dreams that manifest as if just to mock him. In them, you're always shrouded in white, at some faraway altar. No matter how fast he runs or flies, he can never reach you. Other times, he's been forgotten entirely, not invited to the ceremony at all. Cast off into the darkness or a bog or an enchanted wood to stew and brood all alone.

He'll wake in a cold sweat and with an agonizing roar that shakes the entire castle. When Lilia and the others rush to his chambers to check on him, they find it in disarray. Items are thrown everywhere, the comforter cast off and the bed a mess from tossing and turning, ugly claw marks running across his curtains... The chandelier has fallen, the green-tipped candles of it catching the fabric on fire—and there he is, kneeling amid the flames, clutching at his head, his heart.

"Leave me be," Malleus snarls at his retainers. He knows the flames will not harm him, and they know it too. The least he can do is spare them from witnessing him in such a pathetic, distraught state. It’s over, isn’t it? He, the fearsome dragon, has lost to some self-righteous “hero”. His fairy tale’s happily ever after is impossible.

He’s coping… coping and seething—

At first, Rollo thinks you must be mad, or playing the part in some cruel prank. How can anyone genuinely be attracted to such a repulsive, despicable villain like Malleus Draconia? He cannot fathom it—yet the longer be observes, the more frightening the truth becomes: those feelings of yours are genuine. Rollo then concludes something even more wild: that Malleus as bewitched you, cast some sort of dark magic that clouds your common sense. After all, how can you not see that Malleus is so very, VERY wrong for you?

Whenever possible, Rollo tries to preach, to warn you about dealing with the devil (yes, he outright calls Malleus that) and giving into temptation. He furiously implores you to reconsider, to think of your soul and to salvage it. Alas!! His words only fall on deaf ears. He curses, thinking Malleus’s enchantment far too powerful for him to overcome through typical means. Still, Rollo shall not relent.

His digs and sleights directed at Malleus seem to only become more hateful. When they cross paths in the hallway, Rollo makes it a point to purposefully bump into him on the shoulder--and you can bet this man doesn't hold bad when it comes to the insults. (Sebek tends to yell back in Malleus's defense, while all Malleus does in response is tut and tighten the arm he has wrapped around you.)

Rollo remains cordial to you (though you're not free from his lectures about how you should "renounce Malleus Draconia's hand"). He's still very much resistant to any sort of affection you try to demonstrate for him, be it verbal, physical, or otherwise, often shooing it away or deeming it "salacious". However, he's quick to change his tune if Malleus happens to be nearby, enduring your compliments and brief touches as he fights a blush from creeping onto his face. The blush is something he hastily conceals with his handkerchief and insists is "just the weather" or "a fever", nothing more than that.

There are instances when Rollo wonders why he's dedicating so much time and effort into saving one puny, pathetic person. His cause is so much greater than that, and yet he cannot tear himself away. Perhaps, he reasons, you are just that pitiful, and he feels sorry for you to fall victim to Malleus's machinations again and again. In his mind, Malleus is the monster that has kidnapped some innocent royal, and he, Rollo, is the saint sent to liberate them. Why is it, then, that he also sees your face everywhere even when he doesn't mean to? It's maddening to gaze into his fireplace and jolt back, thinking he has seen a ghostly face in the flames.

Much to Rollo's chagrin, his aide and vice president (and even the entire gaggle of enchanted NBC gargoyles) offer their unsolicited romantic advice. They demonstrate their unwavering support in other ways as well, often sneaking about to check on their beloved prez and making an effort to speak highly of him specifically in your presence. The gargoyles also (annoyingly) try to set a "romantic ambience" up by singing and tossing glitter down on you and him when you happen to speak. They're the wingmen Rollo didn't ask for--

It's ridiculous that they would think I have even a passing interest in seeking intimate companionship, Rollo quietly seethes. He doesn't understand where anyone would get that impression of him from. But everyone around him, even the folks of the City of Flowers, can see it for themselves. Rollo seems haunted by something, always looking over his shoulder with a longing in his eyes. The line between disgust and desire are gradually blurring, in spite of the man himself not recognizing it for what it is.

Rollo becomes increasingly frustrated that you refuse to listen to him, that you continue to hang all over Malleus like some brainwashed thrall. He doesn't even know what he's mad at anymore. At Malleus, for taking you for himself? At you, for being so stupid? At himself, for not being strong enough to bring you back to your senses? Maybe it's all three. It's become an obsession now, never too far from his mind and always gnawing away at his every thought. This fire under his skin, the urge to sin, sin, sin… He feels like he's going crazy--

When the anger has finally swallowed his sanity, Rollo, numb, comes to a singular dark conclusion: it's not him, it's you. It was always you, because all this time, you were in on this ruse. Of course. It was so obvious. How could he have not realized it before? You must be a mage too, one that had cast a horrible curse upon him, made him go mad with desire. Dangerous—you were dangerous, and he had to be rid of you just like he had to be rid of Malleus Draconia. For the world's sake. For his own sake, before fanning flames converged into another inferno.

And so he calmly takes out a plain white letter and matching envelope, penning an invitation to you. He asks you to come visit him in the City of Flowers, that he will be waiting for you at the top of the bell tower. You appear here as requested, and you’re greeted with an offer most ominous: choose him or Malleus; be his or burn like the wicked being that you are. There’s no humor to Rollo’s eyes, only a fervent fire blazing in the darkness. He awaits your answer, ready to cast his judgment soon after.

[sirenlulls]

lovers rock → g. clarkey

pairing — george clarkey x fem!reader

summary — after one too many drinks on a night out with grace, you know you can always call george

but if you're too drunk to drive and the music is right, she might let you stay, but just for the night. and if she grabs for your hand and drags you along, she might want to kiss before the end of the song...

you were sat at your pc, legs tucked under you as you edited down some footage for a new video where you heard george laughing on the bed behind you. "what?" you half-pulled your headphones off, looking at him with a small smile and a tilted head.

"have you seen the video joe took of you last night?" instantly your heart sank. "george, please tell me he didn't post that." your boyfriend could barely look at you without suppressing a laugh. "no!" you yelled. "i have an image to uphold, people cannot know i'm a messy bitch."

"it's not that bad." he tried to reason, but with the no-bullshit look you sent him, he just nodded. "okay, it's a bit bad. but it's sweet!" you sighed, setting your headphones aside to lay beside him on the bed. "show me."

"you! you are my soulmate. i love you!" you slurred with grace's face smushed in your hands while joe and max wheezed in the background, phones out and recording.

"love you too, babes." she laughed. "but maybe it's time we get you home, yeah?"

you nodded mindlessly before perking up with a gasp. "i have a boyfriend! i'm gonna call my boyfriend." joe filmed max deadpanning at the camera before rolling his eyes, sick to death of you and george. you rummaged through your bag before happily pulling out your phone and calling george.

a groggy "you alright?" was the first thing you were greeted with and with wide eyes and your hand covering your mouth, you remembered how late it was. "shit, you were sleeping, i'm sorry." "no, it's okay, don't worry." he was quick to assure you, but when you kept apologising for waking him, he simply asked, "is grace with you?" when you responded, he asked you to give her the phone.

"she's smashed, mate, i'm sorry." she said through laughter as you moved to hug max. "where are you? i'll come get her." grace sent him your location before handing you back the phone. max handed you a bottle of water from his bag while you waited.

after a few minutes, george pulled up by the club you were all huddled outside, immediately going to put his arm around you. "ew! get off, I have a boyfriend!" you squirmed away with a disgusted face before turning around and seeing who it was. with a bright grin, you flung your arms around his neck. "george!!"

your friends laughed from behind you, and george smiled tiredly. "hey." "hi." you grinned dopily up at him, your chin pressed to his chest. he nodded goodbye to the others, you waved dramatically while george guided you to the car and made sure you were strapped in before going to the drivers seat.

while george drove, streetlights flickering over his face, you stared at him, not saying anything. "you okay?" he asked, looking over at you during a red light. "you're really pretty." george huffed out a laugh, smiling. "you're really pretty too." "no, you're like really really pretty. like, are you real? are you an ai?" he threw his head back, laughter echoing through the car and your smile grew impossibly wider. "i can't proudly say i'm real, love." "i don't believe you. you're a liar." you huffed, folding your arms and looking out the window at the buildings you passed.

after a few minutes passed and george hadn't heard anything from you, he looked over and saw you with your face pressed against the window, soft snores falling from your lips. he turned the radio down. when you pulled up the the apartment, george picked you up and carried you in, opening the door as quietly as possible and setting you down on your bed. he went to the bathroom and grabbed a makeup wipe, gently taking off your slightly smudged mascara with a fond smile. he took off your dress and untied your heels, and when you were comfortably cozied up in one of his old t-shirts, he peeled back the covers and pulled them up to your waist, knowing you'd twist to curl into him when he got into bed.

he was right, of course, because the moment he lay down, you twisted on your side, nose to the crook of his neck and arm thrown over his torso. his hand snaked over your shoulder, gently toying with your hair until he fell asleep again. he kissed your forehead, soaking in the domesticity.

it wasn't how he'd planned to spend his saturday night, but if every night got to end with you tucked into his side like that, george was glad to be real.

[vumming]

alice in borderland — suguru niragi “eye candy”

contents : suggestive themes, smut

a/n : a small crumb while i am busy with life smh

“Stop looking at me like that.”

There's a frown plastered on his face, eyebrows scrunched as if he's looking at something absolutely disgusting yet the slight upward tug of his lips tells you otherwise.

“Like what?” You asked him, confused as to why he's looking at you the way he is.

Cuddling on the sofa of your apartment—a temporary home in this madness you call borderland, your limbs in a mess of tangle with his as you're sprawled atop of his body, his arm around you and the other behind his head.

Niragi was a constant wild child but moments like this makes you remember that even someone as wild as him needs normalcy in his life too—that at the end of the day, he is a human too.

His arm tightens around your figure for a brief moment before relaxing, the flex of his arm seems unintentional. “Acting like you don't know? Tsk.”

“I wouldn't know unless you tell me, Niragi.” It was amusing to watch his frown transform into a scowl, the evident shade of red, no matter how small, bright on his ears as he glare at you.

It is quite adorable, ever so tough and cocky bastard, Suguru Niragi who crawls from death every damn time is flustered underneath you. His bandages cannot even hide it.

Instead of responding right away though, his arm that was behind his head shifted to reach over your face, settling on your jaw as his stare is on level with yours—eyes steel and cold softening until his lips curved into a damn small grin.

“Like this.”

Rugged, rough, and dangerous is what everyone who would see him describes him.

Yet the way he places his kiss on your lips is tender, soft and gentle like he's afraid to taint you but his hand that's gripping your jaw is firm and commanding, telling you to stay still.

What was the look you were showing him? You could've asked and persisted but he swallows your every breath, the parting of your lips merely serving him an opportunity to kiss you further, deeper, more.

The arm that's around your body draws small scratches of patterns and shapes, a slow dance and kiss as he attempts to close the 'non existent' space between the two of you with the proximity you already share.

Hips slowly gyrating against yours in a slow motion, not to get you off, but to simply feel you and your warmth.

For someone as lust driven and hungry as he is, just being with you was enough.

“Shit, you're so..” He couldn't finish his words, no, with how your taste left him speechless and the way your eyes flutter like a butterfly kissing your lids slightly open to look at him as he parts from your lips got him fixated on you.

You drive him mad.

And he's already insane enough.

He dives right back in when he felt you take a breath, the sweet sweet air you breathe in being taken right away, teeth grazing your lower lip, biting it to ask for your permission yet never waiting enough before he pushes his way through.

Every curve, every nook, he explored it like he's an adventurer on a quest—call him one because you are his world he is willing yo conquer.

Suguru Niragi is both rough yet gentle, tough yet soft, it is only you who get to see his vulnerability. “It seems last night wasn't enough for ya', pretty?” He murmurs through the kiss, sending vibrations through mouth as a small chuckle escapes his lips, once again capturing yours.

“I'll make sure you won't look at anyone the same damn way you're looking at me now.” It wasn't just a mere statement, but his tone sends a promise.

If it was merely an innocent kiss before, now wasn't.

It's aching, the core tht burns inside you as he pushes you into the pillow. The soft velvety pillows muffling the noises that you fail to contain with how he is moving. “Oh.. mhm, Niragi.. ”

It's like you're in a trance that you can't break.

Your wrist bound behind your back as Niragi uses it to his advantage, moving faster as he holds onto you. “Ya' like that, darlin'?” He drawls next to your ear when he leans, pressing a small chaste kiss on your shoulder, it was sweet, loving—

Until it switches back to him absolutely ravaging you like a madman.

“mhmm.. hah, y-yeahh..”

His hips repeatedly hitting yours, abusing the spot that he knows will make you see stars, knowing every damn well of your body.

The curve of your back, arched beautifully and every noise that breaks from your throat gets him going. Your legs are shaking from the intensity yet always lifted for him to take.

Niragi let's go of your wrist to take a hold of your neck, wishing to see your expression, “now why are ya' holdin' back your moans?”

The squelch squelch squelch is a repetitive melody to the room, hand twisting your neck so he can see what look you are making.

“There you are..” You could hear the smirk from his tone, lilt and amused upon seeing your face. Almost mockingly teasing until his lips finds the side of your mouth, “no one is here but us, scream all you want.”

“Wanna hear my name from your lips.”

Fast, deep, rough, then turning slow—after a thrust, his body gyrates and you can't help but follow after his. The stimulation is addictive. “Hah... Fuck, it feels damn good.”

His hand traces your body, fingers following the curve of your spine and to your ass where he palms the globe of it, feeling every inch of you and watching how his dick goes in and out of you.

The length of him pushing into you until your body flinches at the heat of the passion, squirming against him. Both trying to get away and push into him, asking for more, you don't know.

Maybe it was due to the heat of the moment that there's droplets kissing your skin, his sweat from the lovemaking—from how he's fucking you full, but something tells you that it's so much more. Your eyes, barely open and conscious glances at him briefly, until you couldn't with how he makes you close it by hitting the spot that brings you to heaven and back.

“Wanna see you look at me, like- hah.. like how you did earlier.”

“H-how exactly?” You still ask, small little droplets continues to touch your bare skin—tears of his love, vulnerability..

“Like I'm yours.”

Trust.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Hi! I wanted to ask you something, since I really enjoy how you characterize the relationship between a grumpy, lonely, stoic, angry etc. character like Ghost (though I don’t know if I’d say he’s angry) and a love interest. What would those first few interactions be like, (would she seek him out, and would it annoy or confuse him) and what characteristics would he see early on in her to realize that he likes her. I can see someone like him avoiding her initially, until his feelings are too strong and then he’s all in. I don’t know, maybe that’s an incorrect interpretation. Also you kind of already answered this question in a previous ask, but I just love how in depth your character analysis is!! Hope your day goes really really well and thanks for giving us all some fantastic stories!!

First of all, thank you for your interest and praise! Also, this is such a lovely, cute question ️🩷✨️ I certainly don't consider myself as any kind of a Ghost expert, but I absolutely love to share my thoughts on him and love to hear other people's thoughts on this man too 💕

My thoughts on this under the cut ->

"I can see someone like him avoiding her initially, until his feelings are too strong and then he's all in."

Yes, me too, definitely! Trust issues are one reason for avoidance, but I have this HC about Ghost having an ominous feeling that he's born with bad luck. He has this almost superstitious belief that shit will hit the fan whenever he turns his back. That's why he's so gloomy: quotes like "People you know can hurt you the most" and "Choices have consequences" come to mind... The latter imho is a perfect example on Ghost's instinctual belief in Murphy's law instead of being a neutral, logical take on how laws of cause and effect work.

This inner conviction that tragedy and disaster follow him wherever he goes is why he subconsciously steers clear of relationships and, in fact, any chance of happiness: because happiness is always followed by immense pain in his world of experience.

But like you said, if he gets "trapped," it's challenging for him to pull back anymore. He's curious by nature and gets a kick out of physical intimacy and extremes - and love and lust are one of the most intense experiences there is! Violence can be viewed as a profound, distorted form of intimacy (like... this guy is an expert in hugging people from behind and plunging a knife in them 🫠), so of course passionate sex is like a drug to him. Tender lovemaking or rough rutting – as long as he's present and his partner is present too.

So I'd say he's drawn in by physical attraction and sex first (not that he would be into superficial hookups, I think he'd rather deprive himself of sex altogether than have a series of shallow one-night stands), and this would eventually lead to feelings which grow in depth until he cannot keep himself away any longer.

I think people like Ghost could be compared to a wild animal or an abused dog 🥲 so it's better to let him "sniff" you first. Smothering him with attention and demands will only drive him away. But after he sees you 1. are not a threat 2. accept him as he is 3. give him the occasional treat (lol), there's a good chance he will eventually trust you and attach himself to you.

(Again, I can't believe this is my life now: talking folk psychology about a traumatized fictional man on Tumblr, but here we are, this is fine ☕️✨️)

Ghost also has to feel he's needed in the relationship, just the way he wants to feel qualified and capable in his work. If you try to force him to be something he's not, he will likely leave – simply because he doesn't want his partner to settle for anything but the best. But if he gets a feeling that he is needed and can provide and be of service to his partner, he will do anything in his power to make them feel protected, safe, and content (in that order). I also think he prefers to feel useful rather than be admired – that's why he would consider a friends with benefits setup insufficient. Also, feelings! If he senses he's just being used while slowly developing something more than just horny feels for the other person, it will only make him resentful and, again, drive him away.

"-what characteristics would he see early on in her to realize that he likes her."

It's difficult to say because I don't think Ghost has a particular "type." It's more about the chemistry and little things to him: I see him as a man of detail, so it might be something very fleeting and minimal in a person that catches his attention.

But if by characteristics you mean what kind of behavior he appreciates (not sure if I got this question right), then perhaps patience paired with acceptance and compassion. I think he wants his partner to be independent... and dependent on him. Like I said earlier, he wants to feel needed but doesn't want to be smothered. He wants to feel useful but not used. He demands unconditional loyalty but despises childlike codependency.

I wrote a standalone sequel to Refugee a while ago and will post it here soon, in it I explore your question on what the first interactions would be like (from Ghost's POV). 💞

I'd love to hear people's thoughts on this! Or any Ghost & relationships topics for that matter 😍

[kitamars]

hope you don't mind me sending in another ask so soon but i always find this kinda stuff interesting- now that you've survived two big serious arcs how would you rank the main cast in terms of like. favs & stuff?

don't apologise for the asks at all!! i love answering them and rambling about my thoughts so actually thank YOU for giving me a viable outlet haha

so I had to pull out my notes app to draft this one bc i can't do things simply apparently. i can't rank characters for shit so I'm just gonna rate the main ones (at least to me) out of ten and that's that lol, so onward beyond the cut!

Gintoki: I'm in love with him. 10/10.

He's captivated me with his dead fish eyes and pathetic charm, the way he subverts the general shonen protag archetype really works for me (bc i tend to get annoyed with the genre every now and then) but other than that he's such an interesting character on his own that I cannot get into for fear of rambling too much but yeah. I like him a lot. I might cry about someday in the tags of some art or whatever

(also beam saber arc is UNDERRATED (to me) and its very much overshadowed by everything before and after it but I DON'T CARE it has some of my favourite gin character bits this is my propaganda i just felt like i had to put this here THANKS)

Shinpachi: the human-wearing-glasses gag is absolutely hilarious and I hope it never stops. 8/10.

I love shinpachi a lot I promise, i love how dedicated he is to the straight man role and also the times when he's not. Honestly he could have very easily annoyed me after a bit, but he's genuinely just so loveable and a lot of his charm just comes from his VA's delivery, I've never heard anyone else able to convey the emotional range that I've heard from shinpachi in this anime fnsnjrjgjs

I do think he needs more screentime though (watch beam saber arc),,,kagura tends to get a lot of the spotlight (which I'm not mad about) but he also needs some love!! he's just some guy yk gotta give some appreciation!!

Kagura: queen of kabukicho and the queen of my heart. 10/10.

SHE IS LITERALLY EVERYTHING TO ME. i don't have words to express how much I love her, she's one of my all time favorites ever. She's just doing her thing, eating gin-san out of house and home and kicking ass while she's at it and she's so valid for that.

A big part of why I like her is also just her relationship with the yorozuya. the amount of times I've felt like exploding when I see her and gin or shinpachi just interacting in the background of a scene or something similar is impossible to count. She's my little mimi and she deserves literally the world

(Also there's this one compilation of her singing on YouTube and i listen to it RELIGIOUSLY kugimiya rie is a blessing for this character for real it's insane)

Sadaharu interlude: Big ball of fluff/10 (he's adorable)

Hijikata: this man makes me feel a similar range of emotions I feel cramming the night before a final, if not more. 10/10.

He drives me NUTS. you know me, i love my dark-haired chainsmoking men with issues, and he's just chock full of them, it's like a dream come true. Every arc that's focused on him has been absolutely incredible, and even on his own he's such an interesting and funny character. Fully biased towards his VA btw, i don't think anyone else could voice him as effectively, the delivery is always top notch.

His dynamic with the rest of the shinsengumi is honestly one of my favourites, he's got so much range as a serious and gag character, especially when the plot decides to chuck his coolness out the window with that little mayonnaise addiction of his (now everytime I put mayonnaise on anything at all i give myself a dirty look, idk why).

Also i should mention that tosshi was one of the only things that made my watching experience truly difficult. I'd just cringe out of existence everytime he opened his mouth it was. An experience. I still love him very much. Too much maybe.

Sougo: sadism has never looked more fun. 9/10.

I don't think I really have much to say about him? he's genuinely a really fun character, and his endless quests to smear hijikata across the asphalt is always the highlight of any viewing experience. i loved him regardless, but the mitsuba and farewell shinsengumi arcs gave him that extra bit of depth that really solidified him as a fav hehe

YOU DONT GET CHARACTERS LIKE HIM VERY OFTEN AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

kondo: gorilla gorilla/10 (9/10)

thi guy is just the fucking funniest. he's one of the perfect examples of how gintama does characterisation through comedy because by introducing him with all his hilarious gags, you start to care a lot more about him when things actually get serious. Plus the joke never really gets old with him, if he shows up in an episode I know I'm about to have a great time.

but as a serious character as well he's just so good. Him being the glue of the shinsengumi is incredible and sometimes in the plot (crisis and farewell arcs) you can see exactly what it is in this man that makes people want to follow him to the ends of the earth, he is just a good person and I love him for that.

also he's the reason i realised I have not grown out of my 14 year old dick joke phase so there's that

Otose: gintoki's overdue rent/10 (9/10)

I enjoy her so much actually, she's already incredibly fun, but whenever they show more background to gintoki and her's relationship, all of a sudden i am in a puddle of tears on the floor, it's one of the most important things ever to me, the foster parent trope is my weak point.

evidently, kabukicho four devas was my kryptonite (in a really really good way)

Catherine: the heavy accent is pretty funny. 7/10.

I don't really have strong feelings about her tbh, she's alright and funny enough, that's pretty much all I can say

Tama: total number of her leukocytes/10 (9/10)

I LIKE TAMA SOOOOO MUCH SHES SO SWEET AND KIND AND ADORABLE. all of the tama centric arcs have been really fun and each episode involving her is so nice. Finding out she was the time traveller in the bfy movie was such a great twist but immediately made sense bc OF COURSE she would go that far for her very first friends!!!!! i love her innocence so dearly and the way she simply just wants to help others, also otose seeing her as a daughter makes me so emotional

Hasegawa: the madaodog madaonaire episode made me choke at the speed at which I got that reference. 8/10.

Incredibly funny character, the fact that he cannot win a single W is both hilarious but also a bit sad and pathetic, but he's authentic to himself regardless.

He also ruined my later attempts at trying to watch NGE

Otae: the price of one dom peri/10 (8/10)

I love her SOOOOO much she's so entertaining...again I don't have much to say but it's not really in a bad way, i just like her a lot and that's mostly it hehe

Kyubei: otae love/10 (9/10)

as a nb person I have a huge bias towards kyubei, their struggle to figure out where they stand in the binary is pretty relatable, and while I can say that you don't always see a character like that in media who is also hopelessly in love with a woman (so real for that though) i can also admit that this show isn't the best handling of it all, but honestly it's a very "take what I can get situation" so I try not to be too bothered, dekobokko was a bit strange but the ending for kyubei is better than most other instances I've seen, even if it doesn't stay consistent in the series

Also where is jugem jugem? i miss that little bastard so much that arc was so good

Tsukuyo: where does she stash all that kunai. 9/10.

TSUKUYO IS MY WIFE AND GINTOKI NEEDS TO MOVE OVER BC I WANT TO KISS HER. thank you

no but seriously she's a really fun character, and I love everything about her and yoshiwara and her relationship with hinowa and seita and he hyakka and ACK. yoshiwara in flames and the red spider arcs were really good for her, and her slightly confused air at most times is so charming, i love her muah

Sacchan: uhhhhhh huh. 7/10.

I'm gonna be honest, she's one of the only characters I really didn't like since she was introduced, i just found her so incredibly annoying all the time. But then came shogun assassination and suddenly I could stand her a lot more when her personality didn't revolve around gin-san's massive d– (but like. I hate that I can relate to her)

also I don't know where her strange friendship with tsukuyo came from but I actually genuinely like it a lot..........sillies with sharp knives, what could possibly go wrong?

Okay I'm running out of steam here honestly so if I've missed anyone (I'm very sure I have) feel free to ask in replies and I'll tell you what i think jgjekkfkd

this is terrible. Everyone is a main character in my eyes

EDIT: I MISSED THE REST OF THE JOUI 4. I WILL DISEMBOWEL MYSELF. BUT FOR NOW HAVE A LIGHTNING ROUND

katsura: 10/10.

One of my all time favourite characters ever, literal definition of head empty no thoughts, he is so stupid and I want to kiss him passionately under the moonlight

Sakamoto: 10(00000)/10

He is my everything. He needs more screentime. I'm begging on my knees. He is the perfect man.

Takasugi: 9/10

He's great. Shogun assassination made me cry over him. I'm forever sad about him now he was so mochi.....and then the trauma.............ue

Anyways now I think I'm done. time to atone

[decoythecreator-blog]

Hello Void.

I'm back again.

I do not wish to bother you with my complaints of life or struggle again, old friend.

But there is something on my mind, something I cannot escape.

Will I ever be happy? Will work ever feel like a joy? Will my life feel meaningful?

of course Void, I know your tone. "Create for your sake, don't atone".

But Void.. don't you see? When I make things, I wish for others to see!

I want countless people to sit and to praise my work, to find love and meaning in my words and pictures, to inspire and influence, to breathe life and love into the world!

and yet.. when they look upon my work, when they stare deep into my soul as i stand upon the naked stage.. why do I feel so.. alone?

Why do I hate the attention if I crave it so? Don't you see Void? my life is a mess!

If i make things, I feel anxious and under duress.

If I quit.. If i escape the countless eyes upon me, I feel alone and cold.. and without a reason to continue.

I wish to be a star, but I would vanish upon the first night I lay in the sky.

Don't you see.. Void, you are not I.

I want to inspire and generate joy.

but this world is ROTTEN and I can't help but feel like a broken toy.

I can't walk well void.. I can't dance anymore.. I lay in bed upon days as my family assures.. "You're just lazy" they say, "Get out of bed" I tell them I have issues and yet they pretend they don't hear what I've said..

I don't have the drive.. the OOMPH, the FLASH! the thing everyone seems to have.. I don't have the energy to keep lugging my soul around.. oh Void.. why wont you let me drown?

I don't wish to be here!! Not anymore! If I succeed or fail, IM ALWAYS THE FLAW!

If I shine bright, I'll be hated, even when loved!

If I fade, I'll be cold and useless from above!

I don't see the purpose... "life is hard" they say. Well I didn't sign up for this place.. so WHY SHOULD I STAY!?

If life is so hard, then let me QUIT. I didn't sign up for this horrible shit.

I didn't sign up to be bullied for my skin, I didn't sign up to be beaten by my kin! So WHY should I stay? If my work means naught

If I barely brushed a dozen souls, why stay? why fight?

I've been doing this for half a dozen years now Void.. and yet I'm still down.. im not happy.. or bright..

So much work.. so much fight.. if I keep going.. I'll break.. if I stop.. if I rest.. my mind will sink into the abyss..

SO WHATS THE POINT OF THIS POEM!? WHATS THE POINT OF THIS LIFE!?

IF I WIN OR LOSE, IM BEING STABBED WITH A KNIFE!

If I succeed and create! If I am BORN to be a star! Then why do I hate it so.. when people judge me from afar..?

If I fail.. and fade, I feel too cold.. I feel like stone.. sitting alone..

so what's the answer... "oh just do what you like"

but what if.. nothing.. is to my taste, void...

what if I do not enjoy drawing or writing or being alive? What if the pain i feel.. is because im simply alive?

This poem.. is too long.. and no one will read it..

I know Void.. I know I should beat it.. I should stop complaining, stop saying my woes

no one cares

and that's.. okay, in a way.

Not to me, I feel abandoned by humanity.

But to others.. who'll forget this poem in minutes.. in hours.. in days...

and soon.. the pain.. the light I once shone.. will be forgotten, like an old blaze..

And maybe that's okay.. for others I mean.. because they wont have to keep up with my countless schemes.. my ideas that fail.. my countless complaints..

they have their own lives

their own voids

their own ideas of escape..

So I leave you with this.. anyone who reads.. Goodbye, I think.. maybe.. who knows..

for if I quit now.. and tell you I will never return.. that would be a lie

because this poem has said, again and again.. that when i give up.. i feel like collapsing in...

and when i work.. to create something new? I feel a fraud.. I feel obtuse.. I feel so weak, my hands can't reach the pen.. so even if I wanted to create something.. It'll never happen.. not now or then..

I know Void.. you're tired of my words

tired of my countless repeating complaints

so I shall leave.. and maybe return..

or maybe not.. maybe rest in an urn..

do not worry, old friend.

for one day, maybe soon.

I'll join you...

[mchiti]

ohh how many white players have done and said questionable things and no one remembers. or they do remember and they cancel it out because they see his humanity. which is fine but at least afford non-white players the same humanity. lmao mudryk got more flak for filming a stranger at the gym than his pro-isr*eli and anti-arab comments and likes, that really tells you all you need to know.

i saw that comment you got about 'the arab world' and it made me laugh because the same person said 'you don't know anything about eastern europe' ... just imagine if we viewed eastern europe with as much ignorance and lack of nuance as they have when they view 'the arab world'? at least we can name more than 3 countries in eastern europe lol, don't know if they can say the same for 'the arab world'.

you're so right, unfortunately most discussions on football tumblr are done through a western lens. you simply cannot apply this lens when discussing footballers from the rest of the world but. the tragedy is that these people think they are so big-brained and liberal but in reality they are small-minded. like 'I truly don’t see how anyone who’s not Russian can just go to russia with a clean conscience' they need to ask themselves if they would feel the same way if r*ssia was at war with a middle eastern country rather than white ukraine? would they even care? if they would feel the same way if a footballer was seen visiting isr*el? or any other western country that has ravaged the ME and murdered and tortured its people? no, because when footballers are seen visiting those places, no one says anything.

anyway sorry and i love you and thank you for talking to me about this ❤️

It's just so disappointing isn't it anon. Like we can't even fathom saying this out loud because that's not something you can even put into words without people laughing at you for being ridiculous, but how is usa any different from russia in that sense. How is israel different. I saw the pics of another little Palestinian kid murdered in the streets, a 2 year old kid, only yesterday. It drives me mad if I think nobody - nobody - on here went to discuss mudryk clean conscience for supporting an apartheid state. Or him replying "FACTS" to someone saying 'why would he support your arabian shit?" like how? where is his clean conscience there. Where is everyone's conscience. If we wanna be real than let's admit players are just players, a lot of them are not necessarily educated on stuff but if you accept that you have to grant this privilege to anyone. Because if one moroccan player visiting russia for reasons that are not even political in the first place makes you writing posts about it (i've seen that on his tag) then do it for everyone else. or is that the only conflict worth mentioning cause as you said it's against a white, christian country. if you use that measure anyone who plays in MLS has no clean conscience then lmao. or are the half million and counting of iraqis murdered not worth mentioning, just to say one of the million examples of occupations, bombings on civilians, murders and torture from the west.

it's an unjust world we live in. but precisely because it is unjust, targeting a single player for political reasons that are completely unrelated to him, questioning his level of conscience while the whole western world never question their own level of conscience is unfair and it will never, ever sit right with me. That he probably underestimated the implications I said it myself, but this is another level of hypocrisy.

oh no don't apologise!! i mean this is exactly the stuff that you type it down and you can get canceled forever but yeah. I think of mudryk "arabian shit - facts" comments before I sleep and I get motivated into not falling for this shit ever. I think of my baba then, my mama, all the migrants and diaspora kids I know. I think of all the "arabian shit" that are part of my life. And I will never sit down or stay quiet. Have a great day/night ❤️

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I can't and won't speak for everyone, but your list is right and you should say it because

1. Everyone's birthday is in my phone calendar which is great until I lose or break a phone and have to quietly ask everyone to tell me again so I can re-add them, which is why I also now have a private Telegram channel to document birthdays

2. This simply does not happen. What you do, is you always have a backup plan for if the whole crew can't make it that people are okay missing, and you bump the everyone together plan to the next date night and also everyone RIGIDLY protects the once a month movie night from everything and everyone because that is the only way it ever works

3. Honestly, it basically looks the same as what happens when you and your best friend both get dumped in the same month, so. Not as unusual as you'd think, but my god ehat the emotional eating does to the grocery bill......

4. First you try to see if they want it sent to them. If you hate them, you send it badly packed. If you're trying to be friendly you pack it well. If you're the asshole you just don't send it and it probably gets destroyed or thrown out but if it's useful, we had a lottery system for found objects so I imagine that'd work here too.

5. Hahahahahhahahahahha. Haha. No, the best you'll get is "themed", but you'll have way more fun than you think giving it the ol college try

6. My mother had a rule: never date more than 4 people at once if you ever want to sleep again, and always have at least n-1 toilets in the house where n equals the number of people living there. My mother was a polyamorous lesbian and an engineer of various technical sorts, and while she was frequently insane she was also always practical and I have followed this advice religiously.

7. My mother was also quite adament that everyone who lived in a house should, if at all possible, be given dominion over 1 room, which meant it was theirs now amd everyone spending time in it had to respect their rules and expectations for it. Ideally these were all bedrooms but I did once lay claim to a bathroom with a tub in it because early onsent arthritis is a bitch, and no one argued with me about it so that was great. Point is, it's actually pretty rare for everyone to sleep together in one bed/room regardless of the weather. I know at least one polycule with a scheduled bed rotation lol

8. Locker cabinets are great for this. Everyone's special foods can go in their lil mini fridge or pantry box or whatever and I guess you could actually lock it if you feel like it, I preferred color-coded glitter bomb booby traps from a logistical stand point tho.

9. Whoever is the loudest about their misophonia in the bedroom gets to propose a "snacking cutoff" which must be negotiated/agreed by all parties but cannot be summarily dismissed or ignored. Mine is 12am on school nights.

10. Accountability is a process, not a static guarantee. Keeping the pathways of communication open and learning how to acknowledge our own involvement in the process of conflict is key. And sometimes you wake up one day and go "oh shit are we a cult?" And you pack your shit, drive 14 hrs south across multiple state lines, and then spend a few years in therapy until you hop back in the dating pool. Hypothetically, of course.

11. One big trip. You can invite multiple people to a family instacart account these days! Or of course you can go old school with the refrigerator grocery list everyone gets to add to. Personally, we tried to do expenses by income ratio, you know? If someone was 13% of the income, they paid about 13% of the expenses. 40% of the income? About 40% of the expenses. That sort of thing. Shared expense auto-pay accounts everyone deposits their portion of income into are helpful for this.

12. We had a basement fridge. It was very old and largely non-functional, but it DID still refridgerate at least. Everyone gets a shelf in the main fridge and the basement fridge. Definitely need a chest freezer tho, I ain't gonna lie.

15. The person who did the dishes was absolutely not dating any of us lmao, but if you wash the dishes you damn well get to stick around

Things that I imagine must be really hard about being in a polycule

Remembering everyone's birthday

Scheduling a group date night where everyone's free

A bad breakup where someone leaves and everyone's messed up about it. Like if it was just me I could wallow in solitude but like damn what do you even do. Talk shit?

Related to 3 but if someone breaks up from the polycule and leaves their stuff behind then who gets dibs. Is it like by seniority or do you draw straws or what

Finding a group Halloween costume that everyone is equally hyped for

Sharing a bathroom if you all live in the same place

Idk about this one but what's the sleeping situation in the summer. Like in the winter having a group pile sounds cozy as fuck but in the summer?? When it's sweaty and awful??? Bruh I'm on the couch

I don't trust ANYONE not to eat my Nutella and for every extra person there's an additional threat I must calculate my defense against

How do you tell someone in the 'cule they need to stop eating pretzel sticks in bed without it feeling like an intervention. Is there an assigned emissary that speaks on behalf of the collective. Again, do you just draw straws? Drawing straws seems like a really good solution to a lot of these actually huh

Is there some kind of self-evaluation system that holds yall back from accidentally becoming a cult do yall just see Kim head out for a date in a white robe one morning and roll with it

Does everyone do their own grocery shopping or is it all like one big trip?

Is there enough room in the fridge for everyone's stuff or does the one with the deepfreeze reign eternal like immortan joe

If I was in a polycule and we all collectively stopped being attracted to the person who genuinely enjoys washing dishes then I don't think I'd be able to break it off with them I think I'd have to just handle that with god

[somestoriessomewhereelse]

Inktober 2024

1 - BACKPACK

Yesterday was the time

of going back on the road.

Today is the the time

of unpacking some truths and lies.

And tomorrow might be

the end of this times.

2 - DISCOVER

I've always thought that, in a group, I was only as best as the worst person among us; and thus being surrounded by mediocre people would make me mediocre. But I'm realizing my worth does not depend on those around me, and if I'm the only star shining in a dark night, then so be it.

3 - BOOTS 

These boots are made for walking in Koblenz. Yeah it's PLANE to say, but this is not MONEY enough to write better. My creatity feels stuck in a GERMAN CORNER, what if I drink in some magical FOUNTAIN. I know there will be some BOMBINGS during this walk, but I'll be safe up in the FORTRESS. So yeah, I've got my boots i know my roots, let's go it's PEANUTS time!

4 - EXOTIC

"Which (in western perception) is perceived as strange and distant and stimulates the imagination"

I don't know what could be the topic of today, in order not to be inappropriate, but for sure it won't be fall in Germany, because this is not stimulating at all.

5 - BINOCULAR 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but too many people can't see shit by themselves

6 - TREK 

like... star trek? bitch dafuq is this theme i'm too gay for that 

7 - PASSPORT

When a door closes, another open somewhere, inviting you to begin your next journey. But if you forget your papers, all the doors remain closed and your journey is just back home.

8 - HIKE 

Baby let's get high and higher together. It will take only one bite, of the most delicious cake, luscious sweet meant to take you to space. And we'll see dreams and panoramas to good to be true.

9 - SUN 

"What are three things that cannot stay hidden? The sun, the moon, truth." And by sun we mean you, yourself, your ego, your light. No color shall be erased, no voice shall be silence. Thus will rise your true power.

10 - NOMADIC 

It's not only about where I'm going to, but also what I'm running away from. I didn't know what I would meet, but I knew what I was leaving behind. And putting all of these things aside, turning the page and starting this new chapter, was one of the best decision of my life.

11 - SNACK 

I know you have a sweet tooth, I know I can be your midnight dinner. I can lay down naked in your bed, offering you my cupcake ready for you to bite. You can eat me until dawn, tell me I'm your delice, and eat me again all day long.

12 - REMOTE 

You can't control me. You can't negociate with me. I'm strong enough to impose my will, and make things happen the way I want them to. I don't care about what you want, when I say it's over, it's over and that's it. Next time, show me some respect and maybe I'll be more kind to you.

13 - HORIZON

It's simply the finish line. The main goal, the final objective. The end of the game. Sometimes, no need for an after. We can just sit down, contemplate the sunset, and beliève croire en nos rêves.

14 - ROAM 

Sometimes I wonder why I keep getting up - why would I? My life is exhausting, unstable, unpredictable. My thoughts wander and focus on the negative, and, suddenly: I cross her face, I see her smile. And all this bullshit gets worthy, because we are together.

15 - GUIDEBOOK 

Life tip: always bring a mantra with you. Something that calms you down and cheers you up. A guideline, a spell, any charm to feel better. Words cannot do all the work, but they are a powerful source of magic able to accomplish great miracles.

16 - GRUNGY

You think you're edgy, mysterious, cool. You're not. You're just a dirty mind in a dusty soul. You don't fit it, you don't belong, you're not interesting and nobody likes you.

17 - JOURNAL

Dear diary,

I've spent some time with my crush today. We sat under the shade of blooming cherries, and he rightfully popped mine. I'm so in love with him, I could put a ring on his... finger. They say love is blind, but I see clear in our future together. He's really the man of my dreams!

18 - DRIVE

Don't let your future insomnia ruin your present resting time.

19 - RIDGE

I had a dream about the ocean. We were standing on the top of a cliff, eating pancakes and drinking cider, contemplating the waves of a beautiful summer. Then, the dream start glitching: the colors started disrupting, your smile became crooked, what was happening? I tried to wake up but I couldn't. Was it a dream or truly my last memories of you?

20 - UNCHARTED

What if my next destination to explore was within me? What if there was a land in my mind I still don't know about? What if I could find in my heart a new treasure to cherish? What if all this time I was good enough?

21 - RHINOCEROS

Let's talk about the elephant in the room: THE HEAT. We thought we got used to the shitty heating system on board and today plot twist: THE SUN IS SHINING? in October in Germany??? gurl i'm sweating like a hooker in church i feel gooped and stomped.

22 - CAMP 

There is a forest, up north. Follow the white road and you'll find it, higher in the mountains. Walk deep into its heart, where the trees are so close together that you can't see no light. You'll feel it when you have arrived. There will be your treasure. There will be your fire, and your light. 

23 - RUST

I feel like I lost my flirting abilities. I don't know anymore how to behave with men: there is a rush to seduce them fast because I'm always moving, but I'm not good when I have no time. I've become this cringe pushy version of me, and I just miss my old lovely self. Maybe I should make no move at all.

24 - EXPEDITION

How about I stop looking for something or someone and I just stay by myself with my work and my thoughts?

25 - SCARECROW

Once upon a time, I lived in a beautiful House. The House was my castle, where I felt loved and protected. I had built for myself the perfect illusion, made out of words and dreams. One day, the House started moving, and I had to leave. From this day of my waking up, I feel cursed, and I wander looking around for a new Home.

26 - CAMERA

Lights, camera, action. I am an actor. I perform entertainments and emotions for your good graces. I play a role on this world stage to make you feel better. I am the version of me that you paid to watch. I am myself only when I'm alone. I am myself only when there is no gaze on me to witness.

27 - ROAD

It might be short, it might be long. It might be easy, it might me hard. It might be towards success, it might be towards failure. But to me, the road was never straight.

28 - JUMBO

Bigger is better, as they say. Bigger hopes, bigger dreams, shooting for the moon to end up in the stars. However, they don't teach you that the biggest strength is to learn to embrace your weaknesses. Be at peace with what you did wrong in order to feel right again.

29 - NAVIGATOR 

Time heals. Each day you're healing. It's not about forgetting, it's not about laughing about it. You won't, because you can't. But each day you suffer a little less. Until one day you don't suffer at all. And you're ready for your next love trip.

30 - VIOLIN

Why do we define people by their mistakes? Why their defaults is what we remember of them? We are always ready to point out the bad, to judge and to punish, to blame and to exclude. We now live to be opposants, to walk against each other, to succeed only if the other fail. Well, we have failed, at creating long-lasting communities, and this is our biggest mistake.

31 - LANDMARK

This is the final destination. I am the traveler. I asked the questions. Who am I? What's missing? What is the path behind, and what is the path ahead? I overcame obstacles, and got my windfall. Thus indeed I am reaching the final destination. But I've learned something all along: each cruise only leads to another one.

[topazadine]

Gas Station Rankings

This is not an exhaustive list (unfortunately) because frankly I haven't visited every single gas station company in America. I know it will sadden people not to see Buc-ee's represented but I can't describe something I haven't experienced yet

Sheetz

Blessed Sheetz. Food is delicious, stores are always incredibly clean, always have a bunch of weird shit I don't need

Love's

Hands down the best truck stop for a very important reason: most of the locations have a dog park :) but they also have incredibly clean bathrooms and their packaged food options are great

All-Time

Met this strange man who promised me eternal youth, and when I said no, the store radio started to play "How to Save a Life" by The Fray, which was interesting. Also had really fresh pineapple fruit cups. That was years and years ago, so maybe it's changed, though?

Pilot

Not quite as good as Love's, but I have never had a poor experience here. It's just meh, though not meh enough that I don't remember visiting

QuickRide

Not bad, per se, but there was an odd animal lurking around behind the back of the store, and when I looked directly at it, I got this horrible headache before it suddenly bolted off on two legs laughing just like my PE teacher from fifth grade

Casey's

Casey's is only this high up on the list because I grew up in middle-of-nowhere Illinois so I have fond memories of here. Also their pizza is really good and simply cannot be replicated anywhere else

True North

Always only has one cashier working, and for some reason, every single location has the exact same guy working and he always greets by name and asks if I've found what I'm looking for yet. Rather ominous

7/11

Not every single one is a gas station of course, but those that are ... okay I guess

BP

Forgettable, can't ever remember going in and having any sort of experience

Vilago

Very forgettable, every time I go in I fill my tank up, then go inside to get a snack or whatever, but as soon as I pay I find myself back on the highway and don't remember even getting back in my car, and there's a strange scent in the car like burnt cinnamon that takes AGES to dissipate

Travelcenters of America

Some of them are a little sketchy and dingy, but it's not terrible, I have seen worse

Citgo

Huge differences in quality amongst different Citgos, like some do not have bathrooms and some just have packaged food and nothing else

Maverik

CREEPY! Every location I have been to has been CREEPY! Also they don't have bathrooms a lot of the time which is so annoying

Ridealong

I could have gone forever about different gas stations and their bathrooms and so on, but now that I'm thinking about Ridealong, it's all I can think about. That one experience.

I should have kept driving. I knew there was a Love's at the next exit but I really needed to go to the bathroom, and I'd also just gotten a text that I wanted to check (no texting and driving ever), so I decided to risk it.

The exterior was ... strange. It looked like it had been scavenged from a bunch of other gas stations, like the gas station overhang thing was clearly from Mobile, but a few of the pumps looked to be from a BP, though the yellow icon had been scratched off. Still kept the green sheathing though. All lit up in the middle of the night, it looked even stranger, all these discordant colors mixing into one another like a giant warning sign. If only I had listened.

The gas smelled off. I know, gas generally smells pretty bad, but it smelled ... sweet. Sickly sweet. I have no idea what leaded gasoline smelled like (am not that old) but I can't imagine it would smell like death. Yes of course gasoline is made from dead dinosaurs but this smelled like fresh death. Cloying and stinging. I had to cover my nose.

Really, this should have been a sign, but the gas was still pumping and I don't know how to shut it off, so I stood there, miserable, not wanting to get back in my car for fear of sparking - especially when the gas smelled like that.

No trash at all. Immaculate. The paving, too, was far too new, as if it had been laid yesterday. No potholes, not even a splash of gas or coolant on the ground. Though the gas pumps were clearly old and scavenged, they looked too fresh, like they'd just come from the factory. Different factories, of course, but all the same date.

I leaned in and tried to see if there was that usual sticker you see on all the gas pumps that said they were checked by some official or whatever, but I couldn't read the language. Not that it wasn't English, I just couldn't read it - like it just morphed in front of my eyes every time I tried to understand it. Maybe I really was just overtired.

Of course the sunk cost fallacy. I was already at the gas station, I might as well go in and get my potty break done because I felt like I was absolutely bursting. I'd been driving for quite a few hours and had been living off Red Bull. I couldn't even remember what state I was in, only that I was still somewhere in the Appalachians, nestled in a valley with the mountains penning us in on all sides. The air beyond the dead gas smelled cold and fresh and menacing, the pine trees indifferent to my presence, to my fears. I heard no animals, and there were no leaves on the ground.

I checked my texts but my phone was off, and I didn't remember turning it off. After all, I'd been using it for navigation the whole time, plugged into my adapter, and it should have been at 100%. I turned it back on and tried to check my texts, but was immediately hit with that obnoxious Amber Alert buzz we all hate. When I looked at the Alert, it said it was for Ohio, which I supposed made sense - it's all Ohio, right? Haha. Maybe I was just picking up what I should be getting at home.

But then I looked at it and recognized my license plate. IUY-7823. 2021 Green Honda Civic Type R. What the fuck? I certainly hadn't abducted any children - I don't even like them.

I kept reading, fingers shaking, as it described the victim. "7 year old white female, blonde hair, 3ft tall, 39 pounds."

Well, I sure as hell wasn't a 7 year old child, given that I was driving a motor vehicle. Nor had I kidnapped any kid that looked just like me when I was 7. Nor had I wanted to remember that one time with a gas station and a strange man smoking a cigarette, who told me I'd lost something and he'd help me find it. I'd run away back to my mom right away - at least I think that's what I did - now everything from that time seemed so strange and dizzy-making. I felt a little sick. I needed the bathroom really badly.

Shaking and putting my phone back into my purse, I stumbled into the door and yanked it open. It beeped, like most gas station doors do, and I didn't even notice anything as I glanced frantically for the bathroom sign. There was one, but it only showed one sign: for men. I'm not a man, but I'm a girl who really needs to pee, so I just prayed it was single stall and booked it there.

The floor felt sticky. The whole store smelled sickly. That scent of death, like a deer left to rot in a field that throws up its perfume from beyond the veil to remind us what comes for us all in the end. I thought of flies. There was an odd buzzing in my ears, deep down in them, a tinnitus I'd never had before. I prayed that some stupid song would come on the radio and drown it out, but everything was buzzing. Buzzing lights, buzzing refrigerators, buzzing flies coming for me and all that I loved.

I ran to the bathroom, but of course it was locked. Not even caring about propriety, I banged on the door and begged for whoever was in there to hurry the hell up. There was no one else there: it seemed like no one else had been there forever, though the store was perfectly clean. It was just a feeling of emptiness. The store had been there forever, in exactly the same position, with exactly the same gas, since it was copy-pasted from whatever hellish universe had spit it up.

The cashier counter was empty. Everything was empty. I couldn't prove it, but I sensed that all those containers in the aisles, all those drinks in the refigerator, had never been filled in the first place. A trap to entice tired travelers who need food and a bathroom and some sign that there is something beyond the highway hypnosis, beyond the empty roads long since drained of people this late in the night.

Finally the bathroom door opened, so slowly. The lights were off inside, and I stepped aside to let whoever was in there out, doing a potty dance like you do when you really have to go. I felt like I'd die if I didn't go within seconds.

Then the light flicked on. I remembered that face. I knew that man. That was the man from every single True North I'd ever seen. A forgettable face unless you see it dozens of times over your life, from age 7 and on, every few weeks or months or years, never changing, never growing, never doing anything but staring at you and asking if you've found what you're looking for. I can't even describe it now. Salt-and-pepper hair, brown eyes, too-large lips, and that's it. That's all I know.

He stared at me for a moment, then smiled. His teeth were off: too white for his face. Too even. Too many of them.

"Ya find what you looking for?"

Suddenly I did not need the bathroom anymore. I felt it gushing down my leggings, a long spigot of utter terror and disorientation. I stood there, drenched in my own piss, looking at him. I wasn't 7 years old anymore, and apparently he had enough manners not to smoke inside the store. But my mom wasn't here to help me. No one could save me from this man, who would certainly finish whatever he'd tried to do all those years ago.

I slipped on my own pee as I ran, but thankfully braced myself with one of the empty-packaged store displays, which went crashing down. Bright yellow bags of air burst to show no potato chips, and a box of what was meant to be Cheezits collapsed when its glue finally came free.

A trap. A trap. True North pointed to this man, this man who wanted to take me on the last Ridealong of my life.

He didn't try to grab me or anything; perhaps he knew it hadn't worked this time. Instead, he grabbed a mop and chuckled.

"Cleanup in Aisle 6."

I started laughing as I fled, that hysterical laughter you get when everything has come crashing down and you find out your whole life has been orchestrated by forces beyond your control. I slammed the door open and ran to my car, the only one resting on the perfect pavement that looked too fresh to ever be laid down. I'd locked my car, so I tried to get to my keys, but dropped my purse on the ground and shortly followed it, scrabbling and crying in my piss-drenched leggings and smeared makeup.

There were all these candy wrappers in my purse that I didn't remember putting there - I'm not really a sweets person anymore. My mom stopped buying it when I was a kid, so I grew out of it.

Finally my keys. I clicked the door open, slammed it shut, pressed the lock button six or eight times, and turned it out. I didn't even bother to check my text message that I'd wanted to see in the first place: I just floored it into reverse and then drive and got back to the highway and kept driving.

My car smelled like burnt cinnamon, so I rolled all the windows down and let it out, but it's never really gone away. I still smell it sometimes when I step into my car for a grocery trip or whatever, but Febreeze really helps.

The Amber Alerts kept coming for a good hour or so, that horrible screech over and over again. I turned on the radio to drown them out because I just wanted to forget.

When I got to the border of Ohio, they stopped abruptly, right in the middle of a buzz. Every since then, I don't get them anymore, even when everyone else does.

This store, this Ridealong, was just so wrong. And what the hell is up with that name? Who is that man? Is he a kidnapping time traveler? Am I really a woman, or am I still a little girl trapped somewhere in a gas station, eating candy to survive? I don't know what anything is anymore. I had to take a week off work, doors locked, phone off, not talking to anyone, drowning myself in booze.

It's been years now, but I still map out my trips so I avoid anywhere that may have been anywhere near that place. I've never seen another of them, though.

Anyway, 0/10 do not recommend.

[wexarethewalkingxdead]

what does your muse’s name mean?

Andrea - #1). Italian form of Andreas (see Andrew). A notable bearer of this name was Andrea Verrocchio, a Renaissance sculptor who taught Leonardo da Vinci and Perugino.

#2). Feminine form of Andrew. As an English name, it has been used since the 17th century, though it was not common until the 20th century.

Andrew means English form of the Greek name Ἀνδρέας (Andreas), which was derived from ἀνδρεῖος (andreios) meaning "manly, masculine", a derivative of ἀνήρ (aner) meaning "man". In the New Testament the apostle Andrew, the first disciple to join Jesus, is the brother of SimonPeter. According to tradition, he later preached in the Black Sea region, with some legends saying he was crucified on an X-shaped cross. Andrew, being a Greek name, was probably only a nickname or a translation of his real Hebrew name, which is not known.

This name has been common (in various spellings) throughout the Christian world, and it became very popular in the Middle Ages. Saint Andrew is regarded as the patron of Scotland, Russia, Greece and Romania. The name has been borne by three kings of Hungary, American president Andrew Jackson (1767-1845), and, more recently, English composer Andrew Lloyd Webber (1948-).

what is your guiding principle?

Justice

Do you hear the people sing? You are guided by your sense of justice. You cannot allow atrocities to go unchecked. You are driven to make things as fair as possible, and you will fight anyone to make it so. But be careful, you need to not pick fights you can't win.

What Kind of I Love You Are You?

i love you, i've always loved you, i will always love you

it's commitment, it's devotion, it goes often without saying, but is felt nonetheless. it's accepting that you would travel to hell and back for them if they asked and knowing that they would do the same for you. it's an old ache, long after they've burrowed deep into your chest and settled there like a weight- grounding, an anchor point. even when you're apart, you can still feel the shape of them, it's like phantom pain. neither of you can help but succumb to the other's gravity, yet neither of you fear the collision. it means that you trust them, that they make you feel safe, that they feel like home.

What sort of protagonist are you?

along for the ride

now this isn't so much a protagonist as it is someone with a lack of boundaries. but hey. who am i to judge. you're here because you just are. things happen to you, you don't happen to things. there's no "fateful day", there's simply "ah, shit. here we go.". and to be fair--it truly can be so enriching, and a lot others around you might've missed out on some of these life-altering adventures you got to be a part of. but consider--you can't be a side character to your own life. whether you feel it or not, you do matter. so stop the car, or drive yourself for a little. it'll be worth it.

how are you ruined?

ruined by loneliness

you are so lonely. you are miserable in your solitude. you hate that you cannot bring yourself to reach out, to ask for help. you will be forgotten by all who never knew you. your biggest fear is that you will die alone, and you know this fear will be seen to fruition. you refuse to extend yourself beyond the box that others put you in. and it is a box that no one dare come near. you are lonely because you are afraid of yourself.

what  is  it  you  want  from  love?

a home

picture this: you turn over and realize they’re half-awake too. they pull you back under the blanket they stole during the night and wrap their arms around you. as you drift back to sleep you realize you couldn’t love a person more if you tried. they’re the safe space you go to when you’re anxious, the person where unabashed honesty doesn’t feel terrifying but something you’re grateful for. it took a long time and even though you never thought you’d be able to say this, you finally feel at home. at home in the same way you do when you look at the moon, and it’s all you’ve ever wanted from life.

which fairytale archetype are you?

the monstrous bride

“Just as the ultimate goal of Arthurian quest finally defines itself as the Holy Grail, the object that can never be assimilated into the real world, so the ultimate woman of romance is a fairy mistress, or fairy queen.” — Helen Cooper The monstrous bride is not necessarily monstrous, but she is, by definition, inhuman, which is part of her je ne sais quoi. Her happiness often depends on whether her groom knows her inhuman. If he does not, he is bound to find out before the story concludes, at which point he will either be repulsed by his wife's deceit and leave her, or attempt to make the relationship work, but fail, because he is operating under a misinterpretation of her nature. If he is aware of her inhuman identity, it will often be one of the factors leading to his attraction to her, and he will be rewarded with her love – but often at the cost of abandoning his previous life completely.

What Form of Gentle Affection Are You?

brushing loose hair behind your lover's ear

the gentle tenderness and care... deep yearning from the barest brush of skin... wanting to ask for more but being unsure... you spend a lot of time worrying about whether or not you will find love, and sometimes aren’t even sure if romance is something worth pursuing. you have spent so long being on your own, you simply struggle to picture yourself beside another person. perhaps you even secretly worry that you are too much for another person. it it important to not think of yourself as someone unlovable, as you are just as deserving of romance as any. however, it is also important to not place your value on relationships; you are a complete person on your own.

[darlingarchangel]

Do I create art because of or despite my shitty mental state? Evidence by the Goldsmiths - University of London suggests that the better an artist is doing mentally, the better they can devote themselves to their art. But I can't help but feel like the more I want to kill myself, the more proactive I become. I’ve honestly haven’t been able to form a coherent thought in weeks, but in my art I’ve been rampant. The urge to let my head get crushed by an approaching train or to drink the entirety of the laundry detergent shelf is barely manageable, so I avoid every fucking thought by creating stupid little drawing of characters from my only escape from this living hell, unfortunately Splatoon. I know I can't go on like this, but there is no future for me to look forward to, seeing the planet is slowly decaying and there is nothing I can do to stop it. Even career wise, there is nothing for me. People always tell me to become a graphic designer or some other irrelevant artsy job, that would just drive me to the brink of insanity by making me create soulless corporate art. The need to create profit is the death of art itself. Making art is a process of creativity, you can’t just create it out of thin air. Getting an idea is not something that can be mandated or can arise at a 9-5. It just comes whenever. It usually comes in the middle of the night for me. And it’s horrible. Not because I want to sleep, but because I know I have school or work tomorrow. And I know I can’t bring it into reality, because I know I will be unproductive in school the next day. This would of course mean that I won’t be able to get good grades, and not getting good grades means being a lazy loser shithead who can’t do anything right and won’t get a fucking job. The constant need to conform to a system that sees no place for the artist as a human entity, whose creativity cannot be channeled through money or any other capitalist means, is what is going to be the death of me. The issue with art is that it can’t be mass produced. Yes, you could argue that you can print out an image of a work or take that shit to the metaverse or whatever, where you get a 3D view of it across every screen imaginable. But the art is only ever created once. There is only one like it, and there is no way to ever recreate it as it is. Even if the artist perfectly recreates the work, line by line, it’s not the same. Because it wasn’t created with the same intent. The original was made with an idea behind it, that was slowly and tediously brought to life by translating it to for example canvas or piece of paper. A perfect recreation does not have the process behind it that the original had. The idea behind a copy is to be like the original, the idea of the previous work is more of a second thought. That’s why everyone is after the original, right? That is, if you’re a famous artist, but if you’re simply someone your art holds no value from an economic standpoint. There is no demand for it, so why would anyone want to buy it? After all, reselling it would only get them a couple bucks at most. It’s the rarity of an artwork and the status of the artist that determines its value.

Honest to God I wouldn’t give a shit if I could pay my rent and have enough money to feed myself and my dog, while being fully able to commit myself to creating art. But that’s an impossibility and it’s driving me insane. I will have to work for the rest of my life at a job that I do not care for just to keep myself from starving, pouring the little time I have left on this earth into a frivolous task, while having every idea that comes to my head put off until I arrive home, only to either forget it or lose any motivation. All this time I could spend on creating art and doing what actually makes me happy. I DON’T CARE IF IT’S NOT BENEFITING HUMANITY BY SERVING SOME OBSOLETE PROPOSE: I DO NOT CARE IF IT GETS ME NOTHING. I NEED TO MAKE ART AND I DON’T CARE HOW MUCH OF S CAREER IT WILL COST ME. I have no purpose in this life other than to make art and I’m happy with that. I may be slowly losing my mind, but that’s fine with me. I want to kill myself so bad it’s starting to become the only fucking thing I keep thinking about. I know I can’t keep living in this world that sees no value in what I do, but I’m forced to regardless. In the end I don’t have the strength or guts to do it, so I will just spiral down until it happens slowly by itself. I’m going to create until I die, until every little piece of me is gone because in the end it doesn’t matter. This is not a suicide note, this is a note of complete apathy to the world that decided to show me none. I will keep living even if I land in the streets. Fuck it, I’ll draw pretty pictures in the dust of piss filled backstreets while I starve. 

[pontiussy]

JACKASS BF HEADCANNONS!!!

warnings: none, sfw <3

I’ve had these in the drafts for so long but my twitter moot mentioned hcs which inspired me to post these, enjoy!

Chris

goofy ahh

you guys r always giggling about dumb shit

annoying everyone bc you guys do NOT SHUT UP AROUND EACHOTHER ur so giggly all the time

he doesn't care:)

WILL PLAY GUITAR FOR YOU SHSJKSKS

even if he's just messing around you love listening to him

he loves how excited you get when he plays for you, his smile is so cute AAAA <33

late night walks

tackle hugs !!

squeezes you to death and does the lil spinny thing when hugging

always followed by forehead kissies

pinches ur cheeks n shit

just the gigglest relationship ever

he just always smiles around you :)) he can't help it

lets you play with his hair

he loves it

you brush it for him, and braid it sometimes

he is so thankful and makes sure to tell you how pretty his hair looks now

not that it needed your help at ALL

always cuddlin

you love watching him do bits

and he loves having you on set

never seen a man so proud of his s.o. being there to witness his boys do silly things to his ding ding

he comes over to you after every one to see if you thought it was funny or not

just like this :D

assuring him that you did think it was funny

calling him party boy affectionately

and calling him chrissy :))

he calls you 'y/n bug' :"")

also has silly nicknames for you for sure based on inside jokes

would still think you are just as beautiful if you hadn't showered in a month and were wearing a garabge bag

this is so specific but I just picture him to make a lil flower crown for you :")

Bam

known each other since you were kids

always hung out with him and the cky gang growing up

corny friends to lovers bullshit when you get older

being his personal nurse when he wipes out

acts like he hates it in front of the guys

loves it

obvi calling him bammy, bambi, bam bam

calling him brandon occasionally to piss him off

bam is a pouty whiny BITCH

he just wants ur attention!!

will not hesitate to grab your hand in public when someone flirts with you

ur his >:-( !!!

buys you jewelry, clothes, shit whatever ur lil heart desires

going to concerts together

money is not an object when it comes to making you happy

does not appreciate it when the guys mess with you on set

he gets very aggressive

"bam its okay it was funny pls calm down" "no its not okay these dickheads need to leave you alone!!!" all POUTYYY

wearing his clothes

he thinks you're so beautiful when you do and makes sure you know

doing his eyeliner

laying on his chest when you sleep, him scratching your head gently <3

rubs your back when you hug him

calls u "my girl" AAAA

matching tats ofc

matching outfits sometimes too

loves buying you new clothes for you to model for him

he just thinks you're so pretty <3

april and phil just love you

Johnny

he calls you so so many sweet names

I think it's his love language

doll, darlin', punkin, sweetheart, etc

"how was your day, doll?"

he's so flirty with you

he never stopped flirting with you even after you became official

king of romance

would take you to the rodeo or some shit

does that whistle thing when you enter a room lookin all dolled up

"now who's this pretty lil thing?"

loves getting you embarrassed by flirting with you in front of people

loves to hold your waist

prefers that you don't watch his really dangerous stunts, he doesn't want you to be scared :"(

he thinks you're beautiful no matter what, but cannot deny that he LOVES when you wear his favorite dress and do your hair really nice

"you know just what to do to drive a man wild, darlin'"

you love wearing his pink jackass cardigan

I feel like he would really enjoy you wearing red lipstick so he can mess it up later

SITTING IN HIS LAP

in front of the guys too he doesn't give a fuck

he babies you a lot

you are his whole world

singing songs together in the car !!

Ryan

simply the sweetest bf ever

arm around you always

"hun" :")

so many forehead kisses

both of u being adopted by april

I just feel like he'd be very comforting, and the best to have deep, late night convos with

will never judge you for anything (make jokes? oh definitely. never judgemental tho)

cuddly asf

would affectionately do that head rub hair messing up thing?? (there's a word for that i just can't think of it)

always there to calm you when you’re stressed or scared, in any way you need

“shh it’s ok I’m here” “I’m not going anywhere hun” and hugs and forehead kisses and shit awwwww

loves hugs

he’s such a gentle lover, I don’t know how else to put it. He’s just so sweet and caring and soft n shit

he would do anything to put a smile on your face

if one of the guys tried to mess with you? he will punch the shit out of them seriously

you are ry’s world ok!!!!

you and him are absolutely best friends

never the arguing type. if there’s a problem you’re gonna sit down and talk about it. he’s an amazing listener and always understands your side of things. of course lots of huggin and cuddlin after the fact :)

he babies the shit out of you

I picture him to always bring you little gifts/trinkets to show his love. like if he was filming out of town he’d bring you back something cool he found at a thrift store or gift shop, or maybe a cool rock he found on the side of the road.

i also picture him to wanna buy you cute stuff too like necklaces, but random cool items are a staple in this relationship!

always wearing his shirts

I picture him to kiss u a LOT. he’s leaving the room for a sec? gotta kiss that cheek. you’re watching a movie? soft kisses on the forehead. going on a walk? kisses your hand while holding it.

Steve-O

calls u babe

respectful king

shows you off at any opportunity

romantic asf

flower petals in your bedroom n shit type romantic

helping him with his elaborate bullshit ideas

partners in crime honestly

matching fits type cheesy

prank wars with eachother

thinks you are an angelic being and deserve the highest of respect and praise

adopting pets together :)) and being pet parents :))

going on trips and vacations together as often as possible!

I can’t even fathom how he would react if someone disrespected you oh god

it would be so ugly

they are absolutely destroyed

if you’re ever feeling insecure, he ain’t having that bullshit

worship!!!!!!

he’s gonna go on and on and on about how drop dead gorgeous and wonderful you are and kiss the shit out of you

you better not dare say anything negative about yourself in his presence, he will give you an ear full so fast

you are a god to him

he definitely buys you jewelry n shit

and cute lil outfits

and compliments the shit out of you in them obvi

“damnn baby you look so good in that”

HANDSY SO HANDSY

hands to yourself has no meaning to him (obviously unless you told him to stop! he’d never wanna make you uncomfy)

Dave

SO SO SWEET!

calls you things like “love” n “sweetheart”

squishes ur cheeks n shit

hugs from behind !!!!

corny ass dates like going to a diner and having a milkshake with two straws

you both baby eachother

comforting him after gnarly stunts

petting and kissing him

if you ever need comfort he will pet and kiss you too

always has an arm around you

loves being close to you!

he is such a kind and loving bf

would never ever want you to be sad and will do anything it takes to prevent it

ehren third wheeling on trips n shit

you have the best times together when it’s you 3! always giggling

but it’s even better when ehren leaves and it’s just the two of you, sharing sweet loving moments where nothing else matters, just you two together, in warm embrace :)

your chemistry is just so good, that it’s almost like you speak a foreign language sometimes to the other guys. no one gets eachother like you do, even if it may not make sense to others

I think he would love playing with your hair

and just holding you

and doing both at the same time actually

he is just the kindest ever and it’s always so considerate of you.

best listener. you could really rant to him for hours and he’s gonna give you his full undivided attention and comfort.

also great advice too I feel. I think all around he’d be amazing to talk to

never ever ever ever judgemental. ever

loves you to death !!!

Ehren

he is baby

you wear the pants in this relationship and that’s cool with him

I picture you two to have met on set. you had been costars for a while. while everyone was making ehren the butt of a joke, you just never participated. If ehren and dave weren’t partnering up for stunts, it was typically you and ehren. you made a great duo, being the underdogs of the jackass crew. you understood eachother and had a great bond. you eventually confessed your feelings to one another one night while you were hanging out at his place.

he was completely shocked

he thought you were far too beautiful and lovely and cool to want someone like him

you assure him he is acting silly

he was so giddy and smiley, and you could practically feel his butterflies secondhand when you leaned in to kiss him

been together ever since

like I said ehren is baby

little spoon energy

he worships the ground you walk on bc he thinks he doesn’t deserve you

you have to reassure him that you absolutely adore him

he loves holding your hand

I picture him to always smile at you the same way he did in the honeymoon phase forever

he’s all yours, he’s such a sucker for you

separation anxiety like a mf

you stay with a friend for a weekend and the second you come home he’s tackling you with hugs, he’s so excited to see you :)))

he would lay his head in your lap and have you scratch his head while watching movies on the couch

he thinks you are the most wonderful person on this planet and will never fail to remind you of how proud he is of you and all you’ve achieved

I picture him to write you little love notes n shit which are so thoughtful and meaningful but with cute little spelling mistakes sprinkled in (how do I spell gorjus headass)

takes anniversaries and v day and all that shit so seriously and WILL go all out

always your choice of food and activities on those days, he lives to please you

a little bit of a jealous type (maybe a lot a bit)

you’ll always reassure him though

sweetest baby ever I love him

[max33imagines]

17. ‘I know you still love me’ Part 2 — Max Verstappen X Reader.

Max's POV.

"I'm done with this shit now." I say, throwing my hands up, walking to the bedroom to get my things.

"You cannot accuse me of that kind of stuff Max to just say you're done." I heard Y/n shout. I grab a bag from the top of the wardrobe and start throwing clothes into it, in hopes I get out of this apartment before she follows me in here with some bullshit excuse.

"What are you doing?" I look at her, she looks angry, frustrated even. But not upset.

"What does it look like Y/n? I'm done, I'm going."

"Going where, what are you on about Max? And you say I overreact?"

I roll my eyes as I continue grabbing things, going to and from the bedroom and bathroom to get everything I'd need for a couple days alone. Where am I going to go? Anywhere but here. Y/n continues to scream at me but she doesn't stop me.

"He's my boss Max, you cannot be serious!"

"It doesn't fucking look like that to me

Y/n!" I shout back, getting more impatient with the fact she can't see my point.

"You've pushed me so far over the line of tolerating this shit that I can't even see the line!"

"Tolerating what!? What are you on about Max?"

"This okay ! Us ! I never see you anymore, you can't be bothered to give me the time of day and I'm done watching you parade around other guys when you won't give me a second look. Enjoy your nice job and whoever it is this week that has caught your eye." I zip my bag up, throwing it over my shoulder as I head towards the door, grabbing my keys off the hook as she runs after me with even more bullshit excuses.

"Please don't go Max, we need to talk about this!"

"We're done." I simply say, slamming the door behind me as I head to my car.

I drive to a hotel not too far from our apartment, still annoyed she won't be straight up with me. Why else would she give so much of her attention to that guy. Is that why she's so distant? Or why she puts off coming to my races ? Because I'm taking her away from him?

My skin crawls at the thought of another man touching her, doing the things to her that only I should do.

"Mr. Verstappen! Room for two?" The girl behind the counter says. The worst thing about Monaco is everyone knowing my business. Y/n and I have stayed here a few times whilst getting things done to the apartment, moving in with her feels like a lifetime ago but also feels like yesterday.

"For one." I bluntly say. She can clearly see I'm alone. I check in for a few nights which will give me enough time to clear my head. I grab the key card and find my room. Throwing my bag on the floor, I sit on the edge of the bed, four years together and she does this to me. After everything I've done for her, everything we've been through.

I flick through the channels on the small tv, moving up the bed to lean against the large headboard. I find myself watching whatever wasn't the news or football but all I can think of is her. Should I have left? Should I go back to her and apologise? Did I really over react? I can't throw away four years of my life, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I've fucked it now. Unless I go back.. no. She's cheated on me. She's been sleeping around behind my back, probably in my bed with another fucking guy.

'He's my boss!' Is he fuck. That's probably how she got her new job anyway.

_____

Four days have gone by, they say you go through different stages of emotion after a breakup. The angers done, hello sadness. Y/n always said I was a jealous person, and maybe I am. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I jumped to conclusions like I always fucking do. I wonder what she's doing right now, why hasn't she called me? She was begging me not to go but she left me as soon as I walked out that door. Just like I left her.

I'm being stupid now, just call her. Just call her and tell her you love her and you're sorry. I grab my phone off of the charger and navigate to her number, just as I'm about to press on her name I'm interrupted by a knock on the door.

Y/n? No it can't be. She doesn't know where I am, unless I'm that predictable?

"Hey." She says as I open the door. She's standing there awkwardly as I realise I'm just staring at her, having not yet said a word.

"Kelly? What are you doing here?" I ask. She's in a white t shirt, some leather shorts and boots. She hasn't necessarily dressed up, but she looks good.

"Can I come in?" I nod as I open the door a bit wider, letting her slip through while I let the door shut, picking up some clothes which scattered the floor.

"I heard about you and Y/n." How the fuck-

"Did you break up with her for me?" She asked as she sat on the edge of my bed.

I'm not with Y/n anymore. But I want her back. But she cheated on me.. I think? Fuck. I've got a beautiful girl that I walked out on sat at home, yet I've got another beautiful girl fluttering her eyelashes at me sat on the end of my bed.

"No Kelly, not for you." I simply say. I don't move, I stay standing in front of her as she looks up at me through her eyelashes. Her hands are behind her as she leans back to look at me more clearly.

"What we've had has been fun. Sneaking around each race. Boring when you bought her along though, you made it harder for me to get you alone."

Kelly and I had been somewhat seeing each other for a couple months. Never anything serious, but when Y/n got that job Kelly was just a shoulder to cry on, that evolved quite quickly and soon enough I couldn't keep my hands off of her. Y/n was going behind my back so I guess I did the same.

"It's got to stop now Kelly, I shouldn't have left Y/n, I'm going back home tonight-"

"Tonight?" She pouts. She's acting ridiculous, so why am I falling for it.

"You don't want one more night?" She rubs her hand up and down my arm, not breaking eye contact. She's always been intense, I suppose she's always been a challenge.

"Come out tonight. Me and my friends are going to that new club that opened. You deserve some fun after the few days you've had." Just because I go for a night out doesn't mean I have to do anything. I can go out tonight to clear my head and think things through before going home to Y/n tomorrow.

I nodded, quickly putting on a blue shirt over my white t shirt.

We got to the club and it wasn't long before I was drunk. My brain is fuzzy with thoughts of Y/n cheating on me, or not cheating on me. Kelly coming to my hotel room, I still don't know who told her about me and Y/n, nor do I know how she found where I was staying. She goes after what she wants, and when it's me she wants, it's exciting. But do I want her? Fuck I need another drink.

The club is booming with loud music, Kelly and her friends are dancing while I'm waiting at the bar to get served. What am I doing here. I've spent all day moping around for Y/n and I've come here with the girl she's already suspicious of. If she found out I'm here with Kelly then she'll know what I've been doing. I finally order another drink, I'll leave after this one. Maybe if I stay here at the bar Kelly won't realise I've gone back to my hotel room.

"You're missing all the fun!" I heard from behind me.

"I'm having fun over here." I say as I take a sip of my drink.

"You can't be because you're not dancing with me." Kelly said as she takes my hand and leads me back over to the dance floor. Y/n always tried to get me to dance with her at clubs and I never did.

'I can't dance!' I'd tell her and it's true. So why is it so much easier to have a good time with Kelly.

Drink after drink after drink and the thought of Y/n once again just makes me angry.

"Fuck her!" I shout over the music when Kelly asks about her.

"Actually I'm sure John's fucking her right now!" I say, nearly losing my balance and falling. Kelly laughs and I put my arm around her, her friends dancing and singing along to whatever song is playing now as we attempt to do the same.

"Let's get a photo!" One of Kelly's friends shout. I forgot her name as soon as she introduced herself to me. She asks some guy to take a photo of us all, passing him her phone as we all huddle together. I grab Kelly's waist from behind, almost leaning over her as we pose for the photo. Once the photo was taken Kelly's annoying friend wouldn't shut up about how much she loves the song that was playing. Everything's annoying me a little too much tonight, apart from Kelly.

"Let's get another drink." She says in my ear, the loud music making her having to shout a little bit. She begins to walk away but I grab her arm, pulling her back towards me as I kiss her. She runs her fingers through my hair, pulling me in just a little bit closer as she deepens the kiss.

"Let's go back to my room" I say, as she nods. I grab her hand as I lead us through the crowd of bodies, quickly making it back to my room.

My lips were on hers in a matter of seconds, slamming the door shut and ripping off each other's clothes. She's desperate for me and I'm just as bad, quickly laying her down on the bed as I climb on top of her.

___________________

"That was the last time." I say as I try to find my clothes from the night before. The bright lights hurting my eyes, I wince at the pounding in my head and I can't tell if it's the hangover or severe guilt.

"You said that last time." Kelly said, still laying in my bed not bothering to move.

"I mean it. Last night was a mistake. I shouldn't have gone to that club, I shouldn't have kissed you and I sure as hell shouldn't have fucked you!" I say, getting more frustrated at how smug she looks.

"You want her back don't you?" She simply asks, as if the answer wasn't obvious.

"Because you didn't last night." Fuck she's annoying, I can only take her in small doses and clearly 12 hours of her is too much.

"Please just go Kelly, like I said this was a mistake. It was from the start, okay? I need to go back home and talk things through with Y/n." I say, trying to find her clothes for her since she still hasn't moved.

"Oh she won't take you back." She smiled. Kelly's not a spiteful person, when we first started doing whatever this is, she said it'd never get back to Y/n, and I believe her. She's not the type of girl to tell Y/n what we've done.

"What?"

"You should be careful of who you take photos with Maxie, because it's already in the tabloids." That annoying bitch from last night and her fucking photos. Kelly grabs her clothes as well as hugging the duvet close to her body as she walks into the bathroom.

I frantically grab my phone, typing my name into the browser to see Kelly and I plastered everywhere.

'Max's new girl!'

'All over for Max and Y/n?'

'Max's mystery girl!'

How the fuck am I going to get myself out of this one?

Kelly finally leaves, explaining she'd never tell Y/n about what's been going on, but the photo speaks a thousand words. I was too drunk to think of the repercussions of this one fucking photo.

______

9 days without Y/n. 9 days. I've been angry, I've been sad, I've been guilty and now I'm back to sad. I'm angry at myself, sad I've lost the best thing that's ever happened to me and guilty for accusing Y/n of exactly what I was doing behind her back. I've spent everyday after Kelly, sat in a hotel room alone crying to myself at the thought of every possible outcome. The thought of telling Y/n the entire truth. The thought of her not wanting me back. The thought of how bad I know I'm going to break her if she found out the truth. She couldn't hate me more than I hate myself.

I decide to go back home, knowing I need to try and save what we had. What she doesn't know won't hurt her, I can't throw away four years with her and I can't let her either.

I leave the hotel making the short drive back to our apartment. I look awful and a part of me is hoping Y/n looks somewhat awful too. Has she missed me ? Is she over me ? I still don't understand why she never called or texted.

I don't know whether to knock or let myself in. She might not even be in. I grab my keys and unlock the door, seeing her standing at the end of the hallway.

"Y/n." I say. I'm not sure whether I'm surprised she's home or relieved. Her hair is messy, she's in pyjama shorts and one of my shirts. I wonder if she's been wearing my clothes the whole time I was gone.

"We need to talk, I mean uh, can we talk? Should I have knocked ? I don't really know what to do." I stumble my words, not wanting to look directly at her but I have no where else to look. We still haven't gotten around to putting our photos up on this blank wall.

"This is your apartment as much as it is mine." Y/n mumbled as she walked towards the couch, I followed her into the living room as she tried to tidy up some of the mess that was on the floor.

"Listen, I- well I- I suppose I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry Y/n." I began. I take a seat on the couch next to her, Y/n's eyebrows are furrowed as she looks back at me.

"You walked out on me. Literally." She said, I already know she's trying not to cry which cuts me up as deep as it cuts her.

"I know I did and I feel horrible. It's been nine days without you and they've been hell, I was having a shit time racing and I felt like I was having a shit time here, I just wanted out. But I've just made things worse-"

"Wait, wait, wait. So you were having a shit time with me so you break up with me, go out with you're friends, have a good few nights and now.. you're back?" Y/n's tone was cold, sharp almost. She's seen the photo.

"What?" I ask, not wanting to give myself up.

"I've seen the pictures." Fuck. Y/n pulled up the article on her phone showing it to me. My heart sank, all I can hope is she remembers what I've always told her. The media twist things, it's not all true.

I've fucked up big time.

"Y/n, it's not what it looks like." Y/n rolled her eyes as she let out a dry laugh, I'm going to end up digging myself a deeper hole here, but I want her back. I need her.

"I've been miserable, I know how it looks. I know it looks like I've left you to go out with her without any repercussions but it wasn't like that. Some of the guys thought I needed some sort of a pick me up and came up with the idea of going out-"

"Did you sleep with her?" Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Fuck Y/n! No! Of course I didn't fucking sleep with her !" I exclaim, hoping she believes my lie through my guilt. She looks as heartbroken as I am. Heartbroken that she could tell me to walk out that door and never come back, heartbroken that I already walked out on the only constant thing in my life.

"I was mad at first. Mad that all you'd do is call that John guy, email John, talk about this fucking John and wouldn't pay attention to how I was. I didn't even make the podium Y/n and all you could say was you were busy emailing fucking John!" I could feel my anger rising, the anger I felt nine days ago which sparked this whole thing. I still don't know whether I was over reacting or if it's true.

"He's my boss Max. I have to speak to him." I was over reacting. I lean closer to Y/n, about to tell her somewhat a part of my truth.

"I got jealous okay. Jealous you'd talk to him all the time. I spent three days in a hotel room mad at you, mad at myself too. The fourth day I was just upset, thinking about you, and him and, fuck! It got the better of me. I hated it Y/n. Just the thought of it." I began. She's looking back at me, her brows are still furrowed as she listens to every word that comes out.

"The guys came to see me and somehow convinced me to go out, I didn't know she'd be there I swear."

'You don't want one more night?' Plays through my head. The thought of Kelly sat on the edge of my bed now just sends a shiver down my spine.

"We went to a club and after a few drinks I didn't feel sad or angry anymore, I didn't really feel anything. Then she showed up and decided to join us with some of her friends and we got talking, she asked how you were and I told her we were over." I need to save this somehow before I give too much away. I need to tell her how much I love her, how much I need her by my side.

"I don't know why I told her that, I guess we were, well are, but I don't want this to end Y/n-"

"What else happened?" She cut me off. Does she know what else happened?

"I'd had a drink, I was with the guys and I thought I'd lost you. You didn't even call me Y/n. No call, no text-"

"What else happened?" She said again.

Maybe I should just come clean.

"I was with her, we were talking and we kissed. She thought it'd be a good idea to go back to my hotel so we did." Y/n stays silent, I can see her try to frantically blink away the tears coming to her eyes.

"We got back to my room, but I couldn't do it Y/n. All I could think about was you, I pushed her off of me and told her to leave and she did."  That's what I wish had happened. That's what should have happened.

"So you went out, was with her all night, took her back to your hotel to sleep with her but backed out at the last second? The girl that was always 'just a friend?' She's the person you went running to !? I can't believe this." Y/n stood up and walked towards the kitchen, I follow her to see her back facing towards me.

"That was day four, right? So if you were so upset why did it take you another five to come back?" Because I'm full of regret and guilt.

"I needed time Y/n."

"What, to work out if you wanted me or her?" Y/n spat as she turned around to face me. Fuck.

"No Y/n, fuck! To think about what's best for me and she was never in those thoughts. Just you. I got in my head so much about you and your boss that it kept me away, today I guess I had to just come here and find out what we are now.."

"We're broken up." Those were the words that I was scared of. The words that've gone through me and shattered every ounce of me.

"Please give me another chance Y/n, listen, I was wrong okay. I was wrong to let jealousy overtake me, I was wrong to not just speak to you about what was going on in my head.-"

"You were wrong to kiss her." And I was wrong to sleep with her.

"John is my boss. That's it. Line drawn. How many times have I asked you about her? How many times have you told me to stop being paranoid ? That she's just a friend. That you love me?"

"- I do love you. Y/n, fuck you know I do, and I know you still love me."

"These nine days have been horrible for me too Max. You've hurt me so bad, giving up on us so quickly and easily. I've hardly eaten, I've hardly slept, I haven't left this apartment once because you've broken me Max. Of course I'm still in love with you." Thank god, thank fuck! I take a step closer towards her before she continues.

"But the difference is when I was sat here heartbroken, I didn't go out and nearly fuck John. I can't trust you Max. I can't trust that you're not going to leave again, or you're not going to get mad and kiss someone else again." How can I do this to Y/n. After everything we've been through I become a jealous excuse of a man and break her in the worst way possible.

"Please give me another chance Y/n, I can't do this without you. I'm so fucking sorry, I can change, I'm never going anywhere again, I've seen what it's like and I fucking hate it, I'm here now aren't I? I'm fighting for you, I'm fighting for us." I am, I really am. Fuck Kelly, fuck everyone else. I just need Y/n.

"Then you need to fight harder."

"I will, baby I will-"

"Please don't call me that." She finally breaks, tears begin streaming down her face as I slowly walk towards her, this time she lets me, as I wipe the tears from her face.

"I'm so sorry. You don't understand how sorry I am, and I'll prove it to you, even if we have to start all over again. Let me prove to you how much you mean to me, how much I need you Y/n, because I do. And it's taken this fucked up situation to prove that to me."

"Prove it to me? How are you going to do that?" She asks, looking up at me as my hands are still gently on either side of her face.

"You'll see."

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Part 3