#I should specify that I say its the norm not because I think everyone believes it but because even many who dont will excuse it

[chisatowo]

I wish that all ableist teachers go to hell no matter what

[cienie-isengardu]

There is one thing that you mention a lot and it is Bi-Han's lack of social skills and well I do not agree at all, that is, Bi-Han as with Sektor is quite introverted but I do believe that the Lin kuei taught them social skills to be able to infiltrate them among the people during missions. Bi-Han I think he has manners and social skills but he doesn't hide when he doesn't like someone. He was sarcastic with Quan chi but at no time did he insult him or refuse to do his job

I do not have any doubt that Bi-Han’s speech patterns depend on whom he is interacting (x) but as much as honesty and straightforwardness are in itself valuable traits, frankness is not always an acceptable choice to rely on. Having social skills helps to navigate how to behave and talk to different people to not overstep or break generally accepted norms and in result, to build a healthy relationship, or in case of living in a strict warrior society, to not get in trouble. Bi-Han for me lacks in this department, especially in mentioned interaction with Quan Chi, because he was not on equal ground with the sorcerer yet had this borderline challenging attitude. And most likely yes, some of the rudeness came from not liking nor respecting the suspicious guy that already proved to be some insidious bastard for hiring another man for the same job. But the thing is, he wasn’t there to question a lucrative customer that was personally approved by the Grandmaster and he should keep his accusations and rude remarks to himself, not throw it into the sorcerer's face just like that.

I mean, as much as dark and evil Lin Kuei are, customer service is a vital part of the earning money process. Bi-Han wasn’t there as equal to Grandmaster (the superior whom he swore to obey) nor Quan Chi (approved client). Between these three characters, Sub-Zero was just a tool to finish an already made transaction, no one was interested in what he thought or felt at that moment. As much as the accusation to some degree may be forgiven, since Quan Chi openly antagonized Sub-Zero by calling Lin Kuei the ninja (an intended insult) and admitted to hiring Shiray Ryu (the enemy of Lin Kuei), he shouldn’t be so aggressive nor so open. It toned down once Grandmaster stopped their argument. Even then, Bi-Han could - should - ask about the mission in a more polite or at least neutral way, instead of “If it's so precious, why don't you get it yourself?”, since his superior made it clear Sub-Zero is gonna do another job for the client (“Now you will use the map on your next mission. Quan Chi has once again retained your services”).

The whole situation feel to me like Grandmaster promised Quan Chi the best man for the job but said man had this “fuck you” attitude from the start. Sub-Zero represented Lin Kuei but instead of the professional and obedient subordinate of Grandmaster there was an abrasive warrior who called Quan Chi on his lies and backed down only because his boss had enough of his attitude and the pointless argument. Not the best social awareness if you ask me.

Bi-Han wasn’t any more polite to Raiden (“That's it? Not even a thank you?”) and either deliberately provoked Scorpion during the Tournament or he was simply brutally honest about not caring about Shirai Ryu’s fate. Which, considering what he knew about the massacre, Scorpion’s obsession about him and just heard Hanzo’s promise to not kill him, he was stubbornly arrogant or really lacked empathy or good understanding of emotional impact his words may have on his sworn enemy. Considering how Bi-Han is described as “the most cunning” above all, we know he is pretty intelligent. But his harsh, abrasive, often confrontational behaviour makes me think he is good with cold logic, not exactly with empathy and because of that, he is not always reading the situation well and may “forget his place” when dealing with people he does not respect or care about or outright provoke them in the worst way. The whole argument with Quan Chi in the first place shouldn’t even happen because really, it wouldn’t be the first time an outsider (client) didn't care about the assassin's life and saw him as just a tool. Grandmaster himself wasn’t bothered nor surprised by Quan Chi’s deal with Shirai Ryu and so Bi-Han’s outburst is even more out of place in my opinion.

How much of this is Bi-Han’s intention to be a rude bastard and how much came from limited social skills (and maybe from introverted nature?) is of course up to debate. But to be fair, all cryomancers have this cheeky and passive-aggressive attitude in common (Frost for example seems like being constantly angry at everyone and doesn’t hold her sharp tongue, younger Kuai Liang literally disturbed Mortal Kombat last Tournament and told Shao Kahn to give him murderer of brother, Conquest!Sub-Zero was no less stubborn and asocial). I do see cryomancers in general as the asocial, aromantic & asexual (maybe even autistic to some degree?) people whose natural coldness may have handicapped sense of social norms and the fact that they are trained killers (thus have empathy dulled even more) don’t help at all.

At the same time, I strongly believe that not every warrior was constantly or even often working undercover and Lin Kuei used its members adequately to their skills. Some are better at spying (thus are better at interacting with people to get the needed information), some are better killers (whose interaction with people doesn't matter as long as the job is finished). There is not enough source material to say for sure what was Bi-Han’s specialization but Mythologies: Sub-Zero strongly suggest is was actually assassination and theft, as we were told by Grandmaster (“Once again, our most cunning assassin and thief is successful.”). The known jobs he did involved breaking into heavily guarded places (Shaolin Temple, Temple of Elements) to steal artifacts and killing people on the way. There was no need for Bi-Han to have any social skills nor during the Mortal Kombat Tournament, when he was hired exactly to eliminate (kill) Earthrealm’s Champions. Of course, this is barely the tip of the iceberg, more or less the last year of Bi-Han’s life, but if he truly was one of the clan's best, sending him on long-term undercover missions could be a waste of an opportunity for profitable earnings. I mean, stealing and killing are usually short-termed jobs, the “go in and get out” as fast as possible to not leave any trace behind. Those jobs of course also take time for proper preparation but because of its specific nature, a warrior can be sent from one place to another almost immediately, especially if the lucrative customer (like Shang Tsung or Quan Chi) needs to solve an urgent problems quickly. The game and movies are separated sources, but Mortal Kombat (2021) seems too put Bi-Han mainly on the assassination jobs or staying at Shang Tsung’s side than anything truly involding good understanding of social ettiquete; beside the sorcerer, Bi-Han did not interact much with other people, even with his own allies. Then there is the possibility that Bi-Han could work ultimately more in lawless, wild Outworld than modern Earthrealm which also would affect his behaviour and sense of social norms.

I believe Bi-Han took some undercover missions, but I see him more like operating in the city to do some quick dirty jobs and moving to another target than staying in one place for months while playing “normal” human being. That way he was more useful to clan by earning good money in short period of time and maybe correcting faults of other warriors (supervising them) or killing Shirai Ruy / enemy’s agents along the way. He probably could fit into society for a specified period of time if that was absolutely necessary but I don’t think it happened often. And even then, he most likely kept to himself because Bi-Han is introverted by nature.

At the end of day, the coldness and social detachment was a useful trait for a killer and murdering was most likely Sub-Zero’s expertise so forcing him to spend months on anything else seems to me like wasting both his potential and good job offers. So the Grandmaster (Lin Kuei) could tolerate Sub-Zero’s natural frankness because his social skills weren’t ever the priority.

Bi-Han’s abrasive ways to communicate with others, lack of empathy, the visible isolating himself leads me to think he lacks social skills (and maybe even could fit somewhere on autistic spectrum). At this point of time, I think cryomancers in general are dense when it comes to social norms and interacting with people and I don’t mean it as they are stupid or unable to learn. They just have different (mental?) mindset about such things than other people, even other Lin Kuei warriors. Of course, it is just my take on the matter so anyone can disagree : )

(Ironically, I have the impression that Sektor would do better in long-term undercover work than Bi-Han but he is hardly better at pretending to be a normal human being. The difference is that he is the quiet type easy to overlook while anyone not familiar with Bi-Han's specific behaviour will see him as the rude bastard.)

[neoistic]

what's going on with STAYs?

the hyunjin (and woojin) situation - a (very long) rant

DISCLAIMER : This post was not meant to slander Hwang Hyunjin or Stray Kids, it is intended to educate others on their problematic behaviour.

I'm gonna start at the beginning of all this. So unless you a.) live under a rock or b.) unlike the rest of us you have a life, then you have possibly heard of the idol bullying scandals. If you dont know what that is, I'll give a brief summary. A bunch of idols were being accused by former middle school or high school classmates of bullying. It started with Soojin of (G)I-dle and then the whole thing started rippling. Aisha of Everglow, Kihyun of MonstaX, Mingyu of SEVENTEEN, and many more. It's even gone as far as SA allegations. Basically everyone and their mothers were being dragged into the mess. However some of these accusation were later to be proven as false. Others have been somewhat half-true. The point is the majority of these idols end up going on a hiatus and stopped contributing in their groups activities for a while. It was a very frustrating situation. There's been apologies, addresses, fights occurring left and right. While these idols were being accused, everybody was like "let's wait for the official statement from the comany and see what is up, and then we make our decision from there. So for now lets stay our best to be neutral". That was the norm for a majority of fandoms. And then there were STAYs.

_____________________________________________________________ I think we've learned in the last five months that STAYs are anything but a normal fandom. After what has happened and the way they chose to behave entirely was embarassing. I feel like toxic STAYs really ruined the name of this fandom when the Woojin situation happened. But after Hyunjin was accused of bullying, they pretty much just shredded any redeeming qualities that fandom had left—all of it—everything went down the drain. Soon enough I feel like people are going to be embarassed to become a STAY or to mention that they're a STAY, because those motherfuckers really screwed this up If some of you're really confused right now, as to why I called STAYs toxic. It's because the base of this fandom is pretty privilege. Ok, let's start with the definition. What is pretty privilege? Pretty privilege is the principle that people who are deemed more attractive (based on societal beauty standards) have an upper hand in the world and are afforded many opportunities that us regular folks don't have. Like most other biases, pretty privilege is something we're all aware of—whether we have experienced it first-hand or not. Yet, it's not often that we are willing to admit or even talk about it, especially if we're on the receiving end of its benefits. This bias, also known as lookism, is defined as “Prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of a person's appearance” and occurs in a variety of settings such as social environments, workplaces and especially in this godforsaken fandom. Let me explain; everything that they do for the boys is simply based on looks. And how do i know that? Because when the baseless accusations that targeted woojin came out one of the things that i kept hearing over and over again was that they always thought he was 'ugly'. And that to me is very intersting because this fandom found him ugly but they didn't say anything, because he was in the same group as their faves. So they kept their mouths shut, and they acted as if they loved him they told him all the sappy bullshit. When he left they decided to pull an "Okay let's tell him how much we miss him, then dump it, and leave it there."

Consequently by cause of his so called 'wrongdoings' you're now telling people "Oh I found him ugly all along, but now I can finally admit it" which is an incredibly pathetic move. They were throwing shit everywhere based off unsubstantiated allegations. Through this I realised that everything goes down to looks. Because when this exact same thing happened to Hyunjin and his accusations, which at the time we did not know the legitimacy of it, the first thing they chose to tweet was"uhmm hyunjin is too cute to be a bully," say what now? You wanted to tell me you decide whether someone is capable of bullying based on their looks, how is that supposed work. Not everybody's heart is as beautiful as their face, I'm just saying. Like why on earth would you think that Hyunjin isn't a bully based on the fact that he's handsome but you believe the accusation about Woojin based off the fact that he is quote 'ugly'. You see the parallel difference between their behaviour towards them and that's because all they care about is looks and they will do just about anything to garner the attention of these boys. Yes, you're right, the reason behind their doings is because they know pefectly well that Stray Kids read their comment. Their defending them because they are desperately wanting their faves to pay attention to them. And they think by letting Hyunjin get away with everything, he would thank them for it.

_____________________________________________________________

Exhibit B; When the posts against Woojin came out the very first thing they told us was that, you have to believe the victim no matter what. It got to the point where even when we tried to reason with them about how there was no solid evidence, all they said was how they would rather believe a possible liar then a possible r4pist. ikr, oh. my. gosh. However when it's Hyunjin's turn to get blamed, believing the victim doesn't matter anymore. The actuality that people were already putting a judgement on the victim, and refusing to hear them out is just shocking to me.

The energy was completely different, for some crazy reason it didn't matter when it came to Hyunjin. When it came to Woojin we had to believe the victim because it's so damn important, and it got to the point that people were saying they believed Stray Kids that he 'bullied' them. Although Stray Kids didn't say anything, they never said a peep, a word, nothing. Everyone kept saying I believe Felix saying #8, i believe Chan and his vlive, are you for real? First of all what is Felix supposed to say then?? The group has 8 members not nine, is he supposed to put #9 in? #13? #24?? And with Chan he has already clarified that his statement on vlive that time wasn't about Woojin.

Then they were diagnosing them them of depression they were victimizing the poor boys of something they were not a victim of. So not are they speaking for them, they're telling us that you believe them off what you've stuff in their mouths, not things they said themsleves. On the other hand when Hyunjin was accused of bullying no we don't believe them we believe Hyunjin. What? Do you know him personally or what? You dont! I don't know what's the matter with you people. This fandom is just a no. You guys are left with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Then you know what it gets even worse because if you think this is bad. It's not even half of it. How does it get worse? They were people saying that "It's bullying, its normal everybody does it," I don't know what universe you live in, but where I live down here, on earth bullying isn't something that everybody comes around and do. It's not a phase in life. "From ages 15-20 you're a bully" That doesn't happen it's not a chapter in life that everyone goes through like puberty, that's not what happens with bullying. You dont just wake up and go through a phase in you life that is inevitable, that you have to be a bully and a jerk to everybody, that's not a thing. You can't just sit here and justify bullying. Because how are you supposed to sit here and say that bullying is normal and that everybody does but when Woojin does it... You see where I'm going with this right? They said it wasn't okay for Woojin to bully Stray Kids and that he is a horrible person "how could he?" But then you bend over and said "Bullying is okay because Hyunjin is the one doing it" When he is on the receiving end it wasn't okay, though when he was the one administering it was completely fine and forgivable.

Do you not see how problematic you're being right now? You're justifying bullying because you think he's pretty? Are you playing with me? I read his statement and he apologized for his immature and insensitive demeanor, even he wasn't justifying it. the reason behind me mentioning this is because even JYP themselves specified that they would do a better job at picking trainees. That alone says something. They forthrightly threw him under the bus. Why would they do something like that? Because the allegations were true. Here's the thing, Hyunjin has not admitted to bullying anybody, what he has admitted to was being immature and hurting people with the way he spoke. That statement felt like he was beating around the bush about a lot of things. It's like "ok i hurt someone, I can't justify it, therefore I'm sorry" Okay but did u bully anybody? yes or no? That wasn't clarified. You guys can decide for your selves, but this was Hyunjin's and his former teacher's statement.

_____________________________________________________________

The message I'm trying to get accross from all this is that Stray Kids have way more power over you than you realized, and that is definitely not okay. To the point where you are throwing your morals away, just to defend them. You know what? no idol should have influence over you like that. I don't care how good looking, how hot, how sweet, how talented they are. I don't care if they grew up with a single mother and a story so sad it will make Simon Cowell cry. I don't care how many time they have supported the lgbtq+ community. I don't give a damn about how adorable they act on camera with their members. You can not validate immoral actions whatsoever. And no, you absolutely can not sit here being a desperate, self-absorbed, pick-me, dusty girl for a man who doesn't even know you.

Exhibit C; Before we end this I want to clarify something. STAYs did not became toxic because of the Woojin fiasco, this fandom always was toxic, and the Woojin situation simply revealed that. The facts are that they were always toxic, they were always messed up, they were always fake. The wreckage with Woojin showed us their true colors. That is the reality, my friends. As of now this fandom is directly taking the crown for trashiest fandom alive in kpop. At this degree I honestly don't know what else to say. I have no respect left for them. I do though want to say that I am genuinely sorry to all the kind STAYs, I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. Because in the near future I don't see this issue going away. Since Stray Kids is becoming more and more popular and it's never going to stop they're going to keep getting bigger and bigger, the story will just become more aparent. Thank you for listening to my long rant. And at the end of the day all I can say to STAYs is good luck, cause you'll need it.

_____________________________________________________________

anywho stream Still Dream

Sources:

https://www.myimperfectlife.com/features/pretty-privilege

https://www.koreaboo.com/series/stray-kids-hyunjin-bullying-allegation/

[for-peace-war]

do you think "race-swapping" a character in writing matters or is a good thing in representation? (for example, if harry potter who is "commonly portrayed as white" is portrayed instead by a black or arabic boy/man.)

I apologize in advance for how long it took me to get to these questions, and honestly, probably how long the answers will be to them.  So if you don’t want to see some discourse on race-relations in fantasy, then smash that J button and keep on moving.

Anyway.

Question 1:

In regard to the first question, that of “race-swapping,” I would compare it to the art concept known as “paintovers.”  Although the term is stigmatized in many circles because of how [lazy] it is, the truth is that there is an artistry and skill involved in being able to take something and remain true to its premise, while at the same time modifying its appearance.  In that field, let’s just simplify it to: there are good and bad paintovers.

I feel that the race-swap has the same standard of qualification.

The essential question I always ask myself is: why.  Why does this character need to be swapped, why did you pick this alternative, why do you feel this enhances the story in some way?  Why is not an argumentative or even exclusionary inquiry: it’s asking the creator to return to their first impulse and exam what it is.

So we have “Arabic or Black Harry Potter.”  There are a lot of questions that come up there, but I’ll divide them down into this:

Does Arabic/Black Harry Potter represent something White Harry Potter doesn’t?

Can this character be conveyed without an over simplification of some cultural aspect to “mark” them.

Who is this for?

In the case of the first question, I think that a Black/Arabic Harry Potter already has a lot of merit.  The issue is, we equate Englishness with Whiteness and to have a titular character in a series, a “nerd,” no less have the qualifications of something other than “just your average white Briton!” then I think you already have something there.

Of course, people will consider this tokenism at its outset, but I’d disagree.  While taking a Literary Criticism class, the discussion of Harry Potter actually came up.  In the conversation, one of the students said: “Well, I wouldn’t mind fi Ron or Hermoine were black, to be honest.”  Which is, on its face, a fine statement—I too am glad that you wouldn’t mind a black character existing — but the beauty of it of course, came from what was being excluded: Harry Potter, by contrast, shouldn’t be black.

This is why I would say that something as miniscule as swapping a color palette on a character is more than tokenism: by the simple act of existing as a marginalized person, the main character has already made a statement that people will take issue with.  How often do we see “politics in gaming!” when a main character isn’t a heterosexual white male?

So, if Harry Potter was a non-white character? I’d say it’d be worth examining.  But that delves into the second part. Can this be shown without it becoming a series of stereotypes?

I would say yes. Assuming that a person didn’t want to keep the stock nature of Harry Potter’s backstory consistent, which honestly I have no opinion on, there’s nothing wrong with drawing into consideration the places that people of various races/ethnicities are most prevalent.  So, if for instance, Arabic Harry Potter lives in an area that differs from White Harry Potter that isn’t bad, but it is worth expressing what this means in comparison to the former: how does this change influence the character’s core self and beliefs? Does it not? At all?

England has always had a fetishitic view of “Englishness,” and as media can [reproduce] life into the format the creator wants, it’s worth really examining what could be said by Harry Potter, the main character of an English series, not being as “English” as the aforementioned view might have indicated.  In a post-Brexit world, after all, we have seen that the notion of Englishness has become something of increasing fantasy.

So put Harry Potter the non-white in conflict with something “traditional” in its English nature, and this doesn’t even mean a racially themed motiff, it could be class or even generationally based.  Just say something with the change that isn’t already being said.

I’d like to take that point to also say, people probably should break their desire to have non-white represent non-traditional in all other ways.  It’s a bit on the nose when people’s avatar for social disorder have to be coded as being non-white.  I’ll touch more on this in the second question.

The last part ties back into the first: who is this depiction actually for?  Is the purpose of this to show people that it can be done, or children of this background that they are being thought of? Both have good and bad sides to them, with the former’s benefits being that it brings to an end “conventional wisdom” like “Black Superhero Movies Never Sell!” (See: Black Panther), whereas the downside is you risk rushing into doing something with ltitle thought beyond that change.

As to the latter issue, the downside can only be that you may have to essentialize what the acceptable rate for this character is.  For black people, I’ll say out the gate that shadeism will always be where you see how an author views their subject matter.  If the attractive woman has to be of a lighter hue, then really it comes down to telling black girls and women that their skin needs to be lighter.  So in that regard, likely consider the choices you make when you make them.

In closing, my view on race-swapping is have a reason to do it. If you don’t, then probably leave it alone.

Question B:

This is a two part question but I think they can be synthesized down into one answer.

This is going to go back to my “non-white doesn’t mean non-traditional” thing and it’s a point I’ve had before, so whatever.  We’ll take “black elves” and look at them as a specimen of fetishitic racism.

Here’s the thing.  When we think of elves, generally yes, we do think of white people.  It’s just how it’s coded.  But the whiteness isn’t even necessary: be it duskwright, kaldorei, or drow: you know what they are when you see them.  So an elf doesn’t “need” to be white or maintain whiteness.  So why is it whenever the whiteness is removed, the entire semblance of what an elf is switches as well?

In the case of the former: unnatural hues make the “non-whiteness” a non-factor.  Duskwrights, Kaldorei, and Drow by standards don’t have “human” tones and so, their non-whiteness is more an aspect of just being fantasy characters.  But when people begin working in “shades of brown,” the themes immediately change: fatter, more aggressive, scarred, etc.  

Here’s the thing.  If your statement is “body positivity is good and I want my black elf to be fat,” then okay.  That’s cool.  I guess.  My issue is that this goes more in line with the notion that black people occupy more space than we should, and as a result, will do no less externally.  I’ll just also say right now that fat fetish characters that are about “how much she (almost always a female) eats” or “how many rolls she has,” is not an argument in favor of body positivity.  It’s both specifying the deviation from the “norm” and also deriding it through eroticism obsession.

But, I’m sorry.  The entire issue here is that dark characters exist to be, well, disgustingly perverse to social norms.  I understand that people want to show “badass” characters, but the more “badass” and scarred, the more the skin begins to darken.  This is, I believe, a subconscious aspect of what we view in characters: that there is something inherently dangerous, virile, and wild when it comes to darker complexions.  

So how does this tie back into elves? Well, show me some elegant black elves.

Elegance and refinement, typically, describe an elf.  Outside of any “racial” view, so long as the character has this [traditionalist] allure of an essential beauty and grace and has long ears, then yeah.  You have an elf. Simple as. No doubt about it.  So why do black elves need to be fat, having missing ears, be angry, etc? Because what the writer subconsciously feels is that these traits are more authentic to the black experience, and that is terrible and dangerous.  

When writing a character outside of yourself (which I strongly sugegst people do), I think that you need to be aware of your design choices (research and respect).  

So we can use World of Warcraft’s denizens as an example.  WoW’s always had a “world is white” standard to it. That’s problematic, I guess, but whatever.  Racial representation wasn’t big in the 90′s and still isn’t really that important to most people.  Yet even with that being said, players began trying to explain where their characters came from that weren’t white.  “Blacks come from Stranglethorn!” “Browns come from Tanaris!” on and on, and yeah, there are problems there, but the more pressing matter is that WoW just dropped the ball on different races of people.

Here’s the thing: there’s nothing wrong with people coming from different places.  You don’t need to go all Conan on it and say they came from Iraqistan and Zembabwe, but it’s worth noting that we all come from somewhere and end up where we do. I’d rather authors put more effort into examining that than they do in making up monsters and animals to represent these same groups of people in exoticisized and disturbing portrayals.

There’s also the option that race just doesn’t matter in your world.  It’s fantasy, why not?  We became so obessed with GRRM reminding us that “fantasy” means “imagine a world where white men have all the power and it’s okay!” and forgot that it can also mean “imagine a world where this problem just doesn’t exist.”   So if you do that, then it’s fine.  Code everyone together.  But make their representation reflect that.  If, say, in WOW race just didn’t matter then the breakdown of heroes would reflect that.  It doesn’t obviously.

So if you want to theme something like Zulu, then I guess I’d say do your research on it and know it beyond surface level considerations.  If you do that, then really do whatever.

And I’ll say, I don’t find people racist for not including non-whites in their stories, to an extent. But when it’s a glaring omission based purely on the desire to “keep Albion pure,” then it’s like, alright.  You’re being a racist and that’s your call. 

That’s all.  A lot of words.  Hope whoever sent this even sees it, lmao.

[corgisocks]

wait just curious, why don't u believe in the concept of sexuality? like what do u mean

warning: very long post incoming because i got carried away oops

POINT A: it doesn’t work for everyone

what we think is uncertainty actually isn’t, but we’re afraid of it anyway. it’s referred to as ‘questioning’ and that makes people feel like they have to leave that ‘stage’ of not having a label. but i find that the most certain thing in the universe is that we can’t know anything for certain, and that comforts me. it’s also what’s helped me accept myself as well as others–i’m not inclined to make assumptions or jump to conclusions anymore, so i have more potential to actually understand people. i think.

in regards to ���sexuality’? i don’t need to know what my preferences are. it’s not like i’m seeking people out based on them; i’m just letting stuff happen. and i’m acting on my feelings genuinely, too–like, i’m not confusing attraction or wanting to ‘be with someone’ with anything. i have no standards for any kind of bond; i’m open to anything, really, as long as it doesn’t harm anyone involved.

i’m not saying i’m like ‘above’ having a sexuality or that my way of existing is the ‘right’ way or whatever. it’s just what’s worked best for me (whereas attempting to label myself has actually been detrimental in many respects). and from there, i’ve reached this conclusion:

POINT B: sexual preferences are a thing, but sexuality doesn’t have to be.

you might be going “wtf???” right now, but hear me out:

labels are fucking CONFUSING. it’s like people can’t always find labels to fit into, so more often than not, they settle for an imperfect one. and then others incorrectly judge them based on it. or like people who also use the label might not accept you if you’re not like them. or like…they misunderstand you. and from there you stop understanding yourself. granted, this isn’t what happens to everyone, but the fact that it IS happening is a problem. it’s happened to me. it’s happened to people in my life. heck, it’s happened to a lot of people in my friend group–they were too scared to speak up about it until i did, and even then, they don’t trust the queer activist/very openly bisexual/social justice enthusiast of the group (who still assumes that all of us are exclusively heterosexual and complains that they don’t have enough non-straight friends) to know because they’re terrified that they’ll be shut down by them like i was. 

that one friend assumed i was ‘too pansexual to be able to get it’ or that i was ‘claiming not to be straight in order to make it seem like [i’m] a good person.’ 

she was so set on sticking to the concept of everyone having a sexuality that she felt more inclined to invalidate me than she did to support me regardless of her own views. and it fucking hurt.

POINT C: sexuality is a fabricated concept based upon heteronormativity

sexuality, from what i can tell, is primarily related to gender (re: homo vs hetero vs bi vs pansexual/romantic, etc). then it’s based upon extent (i.e. demi, allo, lith, asexual/romantic, etc). then categorisation is considered.

but like…how does ‘gender’ actually apply to it? do we even know? like, does being gay include attraction to people who aren’t cis? if it does then, does that mean those people’s concept of gender is not good or that they’re immoral or less valid or WHAT? and does it depend on one’s personal definitions of things? like…it’s mind-boggling. it probably prevents people from expressing themselves fully. it keeps people from actually understanding themselves and staying true to that. and it’s caused me and many others a lot of confusion.

you don’t have to identify as straight to only want to date people whom you perceive to be belonging to the opposite sex, and you don’t have to specify romantic vs sexual attraction in order to prove it. you don’t have to identify as bisexual in order to make it known that your sexual attraction isn’t necessarily limited by gender.

unfortunately, there is something that prevents people from actually believing this, hence the importance we place upon ‘coming out’, representation, and the like. that something is called heteronormativity.

here is an example of heteronormativity:

person a: i’m not like all these people getting married to the opposite sex and having kids. i like the idea of marriage but i don’t want a husband; i want a wife

person b: you’ll come around one day and have beautiful children with a lovely man. you’ll be such a good wife and mother…

person a: no…fyi……i like vagina.

person b: you’re delusional. one of these days you’ll realise that you only want to be with men and you like the idea of having a husband and–

person a: no. i’m not like that. i’m DIFFERENT.

see what i’m getting at here? heteronormativity, in some cases, can lead to the need to explicitly differentiate from others in order for them to actually be understood. that is why sexuality exists instead of something similar to it just being an aspect of one’s sexual preferences.

here is a timeline (of sorts?) of the most frustrating concept of all, aka heteronormativity:

- a very very long time ago, on this wonderful planet we call earth, life was created.

- pretty much every life form’s goal was to survive and/or carry on its species because that’s all they were equipped to do. they didn’t have the time or energy to do other things.

- as such, many species have mating rituals/events. our counterpart to that is partnership, and it’s probably because humans value interpersonal connection AND it’s generally easier to work with someone than alone when it comes to optimising one’s chances (whether in regards to a group/species/an individual) of survival.

- we WANTED to optimise our chances of survival, so we’ve been trying to. that’s why humans have become the 'most advanced’ species on the planet even though many species that are technically 'smarter’ than us have remained content with doing what they’ve been doing for millennia.

- that is also why couples have always tended to consist of people who can reproduce with one another. sex happened to be pleasurable for some people, sure, but partnership was about reproduction because reproduction contributes to the continuation of a species. since specific types of sexual intercourse are directly linked to reproduction, the two things became intertwined to the point where it became a norm, hence the existence of heteronormativity. just because it exists doesn’t mean it’s actually biologically normal; in fact, there probably IS no normal as we each have our own individual preferences that don’t have to depend on anything. THAT should be the norm.

- sexual intercourse can lead to reproduction and/or pleasure (or even neither of the two). however, reproduction is directly linked to neither pleasure nor all types of sex, so the concept of 'a->b and a->c so b->c’ (sex->reproduction and sex->pleasure so reproduction->pleasure) does not work at all here because not even the first two situations are always true.

- most people in first-world countries don’t need to worry about reproduction anymore unless it’s in regards to making the choice to procreate. our main goal has shifted from survival to surviving comfortably. as such, our long-surviving 'norms’ for being in relationships (and the norm of valuing being in a relationship at all) are obsolete because the things that led to their existence are obsolete.

we still have instincts, though. they are connected to survival/reproduction/fertility, but we’ve passed that point as a species. we don’t need to worry about dominance or 'who will have the best kids’ or having kids at all anymore.

instead, people who are already equipped to survive generally need to worry about living their lives to the fullest or living their truth or just living well enough, whatever that may mean to them. and when an outdated version of that prevents them from achieving that and even makes their lives worse in the process, that’s how we know we need to change. it’s not just about morals; it’s about logic, too, especially considering that that logic is meant to validate people.

how does this apply to sexuality? 

well, it’s simple: it stemmed from the fabrication of heteronormativity and the gender binary (which kept being reinforced by religious establishments, etc, because they’d been 'normal’ anyway). heteronormativity and the binary didn’t apply to everyone, so those people were labelled as being different, and umbrella terms serve to cover those who don’t conform to societal standards that don’t even need to exist. by using such terms, even with good intentions, we might be reinforcing those standards; we’re inadvertently differentiating ourselves further from what is supposedly typical. we’re giving ourselves more of a voice and making ourselves more visible, sure; people don’t doubt that we exist anymore, but we need to improve upon that. we’re connecting over similar experiences, too, which is part of the reason why umbrella terms usually refer to communities (and why people can be a part of them without having to label themselves). but that’s not the same thing as normalisation–we’re just becoming a more vocal and more confused 'minority’ that isn’t actually a minority at all.

we’re confused as fuck. and we’re angry; we’re upset; we want change. but most importantly, we NEED change for everyone’s sake. this is my justification for it.

[restoringsanity]

What's your thoughts on poc thinking they can't be racist?

Not sure if you’re going to like what I’m going to say - but, you asked for my thoughts, so you’ll get my thoughts.

First, I need to admit that I’m one of those people who prefer dictionary definitions of terminology. If we want to have conversations, we need to agree on what words mean, and that their definitions apply indiscriminately, following the same logic. We can’t have productive conversations any other way, because everything would get lost in semantics otherwise. Our definitions need to be globally applicable to some extent, as well. If ‘racism’ means something different in North America than it does in South America, Africa, Asia, Australia, Europe - the entire rest of the world essentially - we’re going to keep running into an abundance of obstacles, as well. As far as I (personally) am concerned, racism doesn’t need an updated or more specific definition. It’s plenty specific already.

But,I understand the need to specify the impact racism has on different groups of people.

This is important, so please pay attention.

Definition of Racism

Racism is the belief in the superiority of one race over another, which often results in discrimination and prejudice towards people based on their race or ethnicity. Today, the use of the term “racism” does not easily fall under a single definition.[1]

The ideology underlying racist practices often includes the idea that humans can be subdivided into distinct groups that are different due to their social behavior and their innate capacities as well as the idea that they can be ranked as inferior or superior.[2] The Holocaust is a classic example of institutionalized racism which led to the death of millions of people based on race.

While the concepts of race and ethnicity are considered to be separate in contemporary social science, the two terms have a long history of equivalence in both popular usage and older social science literature. “Ethnicity” is often used in a sense close to one traditionally attributed to “race”: the division of human groups based on qualities assumed to be essential or innate to the group (e.g. shared ancestry or shared behavior). Therefore, racism and racial discrimination are often used to describe discrimination on an ethnic or cultural basis, independent of whether these differences are described as racial. According to a United Nations convention on racial discrimination, there is no distinction between the terms “racial” and “ethnic” discrimination. The UN convention further concludes that superiority based on racial differentiation is scientifically false, morally condemnable, socially unjust and dangerous, and there is no justification for racial discrimination, anywhere, in theory or in practice.[3]

Racist ideology can become manifest in many aspects of social life. Racism can be present in social actions, practices, or political systems (e.g., apartheid) that support the expression of prejudice or aversion in discriminatory practices. Associated social actions may include nativism, xenophobia, otherness, segregation, hierarchical ranking, supremacism, and related social phenomena.

(source)

Stipulative Definition of Racism

Prejudice plus power is a stipulative definition of racism often used by anti-racist educators, including the American pastor Joseph Barndt.[1] The definition was first proposed by Patricia Bidol, who, in a 1970 book, defined it as “prejudice plus institutional power.”[2]According to this definition, two elements are required in order for racism to exist: racial prejudice, and social power to codify and enforce this prejudice into an entire society.[1][3] Reasons cited in support of this definition include that power is responsible for the creation of racial categories, and that people favor their own racial groups over others.[4] The reaction of students to this definition tends to be mixed, with some thinking that it makes sense, and others perceiving it as an unfair redefinition of racism to portray whites in an unfairly negative light.[5] In 2004, Beverly Tatum wrote that many of her white students find it difficult to relate to this definition on a personal level, because they do not perceive themselves either as prejudiced or as having power.[3] The definition has been criticized by some academics for relying on the assumption that power is a zero-sum game, and for not accounting for the lack of uniformity in prejudicial attitudes.[6] Critics have also noted that this definition is belied by the fact that except in absolutist regimes, minorities, however disadvantaged they may be, are not powerless, because power is organized into multiple levels.[7]

(source)

What is a ‘stipulative definition’?

A stipulative definition is a type of definition in which a new or currently-existing term is given a new specific meaning for the purposes of argument or discussion in a given context. When the term already exists, this definition may, but does not necessarily, contradict the dictionary (lexical) definition of the term. Because of this, a stipulative definition cannot be “correct” or “incorrect”; it can only differ from other definitions, but it can be useful for its intended purpose.[1][2]

For example, in the riddle of induction by Nelson Goodman, “grue” was stipulated to be “a property of an object that makes it appear green if observed before some future time t, and blue if observed afterward”. “Grue” has no meaning in standard English; therefore, Goodman created the new term and gave it a stipulative definition.

Stipulative definitions of existing terms are useful in making theoretical arguments, or stating specific cases. For example:

*Suppose we say that to love someone is to be willing to die for that person.

*Take “human” to mean any member of the species Homo sapiens.

*For the purposes of argument, we will define a “student” to be “a person under 18 enrolled in a local school”.

Some of these are also precising definitions, a subtype of stipulative definition that may not contradict but only extend the lexical definition of a term. Theoretical definitions, used extensively in science and philosophy, are similar in some ways to stipulative definitions (although theoretical definitions are somewhat normative, more like persuasive definitions).[2]

Many holders of controversial and highly charged opinions use stipulative definitions in order to attach the emotional or other connotations of a word to the meaning they would like to give it; for example, defining “murder” as “the killing of any living thing for any reason”. The other side of such an argument is likely to use a different stipulative definition for the same term: “the unlawful killing of a human being with malice aforethought” or “the premeditated killing of a human being”. The lexical definition in such a case is likely to fall somewhere in between.

When a stipulative definition is confused with a lexical definition within an argument there is a risk of equivocation.

(source)

Now, what is the purpose of the stipulative definition of racism? I would conclude it’s to highlight the origin and impact of racism in the United States specifically. The stipulative definition of racism benefits the argument that people of color in the United States suffer more (and have suffered more) from racism against their group, than white citizens suffer (and have suffered) from racism against their group.

Personally, I don’t think whether or not people of color can be racist is a necessary question. It’s detrimental to the overall conversations we need to have, and the questions we need to answer. By lexical definition - yes, they can. By stipulative definition - their racism, while not defined as such in this specific instance, has a lesser impact in countries where white citizens are the majority.

The lexical definition of racism describes the act of racism within a sociological and anthropological context.The stipulative definition of racism describes the act of racism against a specific historical background, while highlighting prejudice as a motivator and power imbalances as an enabling force.

“I believe white people are collectively inferior and I hate every single one of them, but I’m not racist.” -> incorrect according to lexical definition-> ‘correct’ according to stipulative definition

We have to acknowledge that the stipulative definition of racism perhaps shouldn’t be abused to excuse unbridled hatred, seeing as how it benefits nothing and no one to do so, other than people who seek to excuse their hatred. I don’t think hate needs an excuse. It speaks for itself, regardless. Do I have empathy for a person of color expressing their frustration in a vitriolic manner? Yes. Without a doubt. Do I have sympathy? To a lesser degree. Do I choose to take their anger personally? No. I don’t have to. (I’m not a white American, anyway. But even if I was, I’m much less interested in getting upset than I am in bettering the world for everyone.)If someone tells you “I’m in pain, and it’s your fault!” the moral thing to do would be to find ways to address their pain first, then deal with their accusations later, if it’s at all necessary. Your methods should be rational, reasonable, and compassionate.The response of some white Americans to certain accusations is, quite frankly, embarrassing. If your response to someone expressing pain is self-flagellation, self-loathing and overabundant expressions of guilt - you’re not helping. Your pain doesn’t lessen the pain of others, it just adds to it. Your response has to be dignified and concise. I find it quite irritating to witness that political/societal discourse has become further obsessed with ‘whiteness’ in their attempt to deconstruct it. Just … focus, for fuck’s sake. Stop getting distracted by masturbatory hyper-wokeness. You can have all kinds of discussion on campus, that’s what it’s for, but outside of that bubble, you have to focus on the issues that many Americans still struggle with. (Yes, this entire post is US-centric, because the initial ask is.)The issues marginalized Americans deal with are issues of racism and classism - which, interestingly, is included in the stipulative definition of racism. It’s a matter of prioritizing according to impact. Poor white Americans have it rough, but poor people of color living in America are just profoundly fucked. You can, and you should address both. If your goal is 1, and you have two lesser instances, one at 0.75 and one at 0.25 you need and want to elevate both to 1. It just takes more effort to elevate one instance. Of course, either instance might elevate themselves by reducing one another to 0, but the total sum would be lesser. Or maybe I’m just bad at math, and this example sucks. Who knows.

There’s really no point in pushing each other down in our attempt at finding equal standing. Same as it’s useless to point fingers. It doesn’t really matter who is racist, or sexist, or anything like that - it’s about addressing the issues stemming from racism, sexism, etc. If a patient arrives in critical condition, your approach is symptomatic initially. As soon as their condition isn‘t critical anymore, then you can address the core problems.

Continuing on with the US-centrism - the American body still isn’t in stable condition. A festering infection has broken out recently (cough white supremacy cough), which is going to slow down the process of healing to a considerable degree. It can’t just be cut out, either. Whatever it has infected is part of the system, too. That’s why all of this is so fucking complicated.

Anyway, at this point I’m just rambling. It’s just very frustrating to observe, and while I have lived it to a certain degree, I certainly haven’t experienced it the exact same way. These are my thoughts on the issue.

To boil it down to a simple statement: What are my thoughts on people of color (in the U.S.) thinking they can’t be racist? Who cares? That’s not the issue. It’s a petty question, it’s a petty issue, it benefits no one.

[earlyandoftenpodcast]

(From here, an illustration of Green Spring, the plantation home of William Berkeley, governor of Virginia, long since torn down.)

A discussion of life in the Chesapeake in the mid-1600s, from local government to election practices to the origins of slavery and a new upper class.

>>>Direct audio link<<<

(Wordpress)    (Twitter)    (Libsyn)    (Podbean)   (iTunes)

Transcript and Sources:

Hello, and welcome to Early and Often: The History of Elections in America. Episode 7: Berkeley’s Virginia.

Last time, we talked about the unwinding of the English Civil War, as the Protectorate of Oliver Cromwell failed and was replaced by a restored monarchy under Charles II. Both Maryland and Virginia were largely returned to the status quo. Lord Baltimore had successfully fended off numerous attacks on his control of Maryland and in Virginia the Royalist William Berkeley had been restored to the governorship. Things will become unsettled again soon enough in the Chesapeake, but since the region is calm for the moment, I thought it would be a good idea to step back from the narrative and talk about Virginia’s development during the second half of the 17th Century, with a bit of an emphasis on its political culture. In particular, I’d like to show how both the geography of the region and a developing social hierarchy affected Virginia’s political system. I think the most important thing to note is that as the colony matured, it became not more but less democratic, just like in Maryland last episode. In its early years Virginia had been open, both economically and politically. But as a new elite formed and as the class of indentured servants was slowly replaced by a caste of slaves, Virginia reverted to more restrictive norms like in England.

Note that as we talk about life in Virginia, it’s safe to assume that life in Maryland was in most ways quite similar. Maryland was smaller and it had had a later start, plus it was politically unstable at the top, but that didn’t affect daily life so much. At least not most of the time.

Tobacco was at the center of everything in the Chesapeake. The needs of planting, harvesting, and curing set the pace of daily life. Repeated attempts over the last several decades by the government to diversify the economy into such commodities as “Silk, Flax, Hemp, Iron, Rice, Pitch, [and] Tar” had all failed more or less completely. Tobacco was the Chesapeake’s comparative advantage. There was just way more money to be made in planting it than in doing anything else. And no other reason to risk Virginia’s high death rate. So tobacco plantations kept springing up all across the region, further and further up the rivers.

Settlements in the Chesapeake were extremely spread out, for a number of reasons. Obviously a big plantation needs a lot of space. But also important was the fact that the Chesapeake Bay is fed by 48 different navigable rivers, from the James to the Potomac. It was far easier to get around on water than on land, so there was less of a need for towns to act as central hubs for transportation and communication. If you had a plantation it was often simpler and cheaper for you to just build a dock on your land and have traders come upriver to you. Also, no doubt, settlers were looking for the most fertile land, wherever that was. Add to that people buying up extra land in the hopes of farming it later, or moving to a more remote location in the hopes of buying more land later, and you can see why the Chesapeake was as rural as it was. In fact, the Native Americans were more urbanized than the English settlers at the time.

Jamestown was the only settlement that could plausibly be called a city, and while I couldn’t find a good population estimate for it at this time, it couldn’t have held more than a few thousand people at best. Remember that the population of Virginia only reached 40,000 in the 1670s. And Maryland had maybe some 10,000-plus people on top of that.

As a result of this geographic dispersion, county governments wound up responsible for most of the day-to-day administration in the colony. Local justices of the peace could pass laws pretty much as they wished. Courts were established in the counties, although they weren’t just “courts” in the modern sense. In addition to judicial functions, they also had executive/administrative responsibilities. They handled most routine legal matters, from recording land ownership to the care of orphans to the regulation of taverns. Basically all of the features of local government were rolled up into a single body. It was all quite simple and unspecialized, relative to the complexity of modern government. And remember, none of these men were elected.

The militia was run at the county level, except in times of emergency.

Sheriffs handled many of the basic functions of local government. Serving warrants, collecting taxes, things like that. They were given a cut of the revenue they brought in, so it could pay quite well. Most importantly for us, they were responsible for running elections. So let me take a moment to go into a bit more detail about how elections were held in practice. Of course Governor Berkeley didn’t call for elections from 1661 to 1676, so it’s a moot point for now, but this should give you an idea of how things went before and after that interlude.

The process began when the governor decided to call for an election. Orders were then issued and given to the sheriff of each county. It was his responsibility to inform the populace of the upcoming election’s time and place. In the early decades of the colony he would literally go door to door around the county. But this was unwieldy and ineffective, and people kept complaining that they didn’t actually find out about the election until it was too late. So in the 1660s the process was changed. Now sheriffs were required to have the minister in each county read an announcement in church two Sundays in a row before the election, since that was the one place everyone would be.

The exact time and place of elections wasn’t specified by law. The sheriff could choose as he thought best, although elections had to be held at least 20 days after the writ was delivered, to make sure everyone could be informed in time. Generally, the elections would have been held in whatever the typical meeting place of the county was. At the courthouse, most likely. It probably varied by county, but the standard practice may have been to hold one voting session in the morning and one in the afternoon. To make sure that people weren’t afraid to attend, it was forbidden for the sheriff to arrest people on election day, except for felonies or immediate breach of the peace. (Incidentally, sheriffs were also forbidden from arresting people at church, to keep attendance from dropping.)

There was no formal method of nominating candidates. People just announced that they were in the running. And remember that at this time each county sent two burgesses to the Assembly, so you could still vote twice in each election. Sometimes candidates campaigned, sometimes not, depending on how secure they felt. Back in Episode 3 I talked about the increasing political awareness in England, as voters became more informed and candidates learned to get votes by campaigning on issues. This was only slowly becoming the case in the Chesapeake. For now, such political factions as there were were more about personal conflicts and competition for lucrative offices than about policy.

I think it’s safe to say that the atmosphere at these elections may have been, if not always festive then at least convivial. It would have been as much a social occasion as a political one. Sometimes candidates tried to bribe voters by offering them “meat, drink, entertainment [and] provision”, which we know because the Assembly had to ban the practice in the early 1700s. So this would have been an occasion quite unlike most elections today. I can only imagine how drunk people got.

I mentioned back in Episode 3 that both in England and in Virginia the custom was to vote by voice or by a show of hands, rather than by ballot, and that was still the case. As elections at this time weren’t so fiercely contested, it was possible for voting to be so informal, with no proper counts taken. Later on, if there was a closely fought election the sheriffs would record formal vote tallies, but that wouldn’t be for another few decades. For now, I suspect that at most, if there was some dispute sheriffs or their clerks simply marked out rough counts -- tally marks, perhaps -- and left it at that.

Once the sheriff had determined who the winners of the election were, he sent word back to the General Assembly. And that was that. Any complaints about the election could be sent to the Assembly as well, and it was they who would decide the issue.

It was a very simple system, one quite vulnerable to abuse and manipulation. Obviously without a secret ballot everyone knew who you voted for. One of the reasons given for restricting the franchise to men who owned land was that they were the only ones with enough independence to not just vote how someone else wanted them to. And there were no real procedures in place to prevent cheating. But I’m not at all sure certain that that was a problem for the leaders of Virginia. They preferred a system that was predictable and controllable. And while they believed that representation was a useful feature of government, it wasn’t of foundational importance.

Seats in the House of Burgesses weren’t too highly coveted yet either. Not all seats were campaigned for, as I mentioned. And turnover was very high still, partly due to the high death rate. For instance, in a given Assembly in Maryland, almost half of the members that year would be first-timers. This only changed after around 1689 or so. So inexperienced Burgesses often came and went without having much of an impact.

I should reemphasize that the burgesses were the only elected officials in Virginia for its whole colonial history. Every other position was appointed. In practice, however, the appointees needed to be approved by the notable men of a given county. And the Burgesses themselves now tended to come from the higher ranks of society. So government, both local and central, was hardly going to be too responsive to the needs of the average indentured servant or even freeman. Instead, it was all about the growing upper class.

During the English Civil War Governor Berkeley had invited well-born Royalists displaced by the conflict to settle in Virginia. A few of these Cavaliers came, and more upper-class Englishmen trickled in over the next few decades. Most of these men hadn’t actually been proper Cavaliers, that is supporters of the King during the Civil War, but they came to call themselves Cavaliers anyway, and their self-image would turn into the self-image of Virginia’s upper class as a whole. They understood themselves to be dashing aristocrats and superior men.

It wasn’t a large migration, but it had an outsized impact on the highest levels of Virginia’s social ladder. “Of seventy-two families in Virginia’s high elite whose dates of migration are known, two-thirds arrived between 1640 and 1669.” That’s from Albion’s Seed, by David Hackett Fischer, a fascinating book that contrasts the various cultures of settlers in colonial America. I’ll be drawing on it for this episode.

These immigrants were often second sons of important families who stood to inherit nothing and so left for the New World to start new lives for themselves. They were in general richer than the migrants who had come before, and so they were able to purchase larger estates. In the 1630s, a typical member of the Council had from 300 to 500 acres of land. And remember that you could get 50 acres of land just by showing up. So back then the wealthier were certainly wealthier, but there was no immense gulf between the top and everyone else. The new Cavaliers, however, came from much richer stock. They could easily control estates of tens of thousands of acres. They didn’t totally displace the old elite, but they did tend to dominate it.

This new elite heavily intermarried and turned itself into somewhat of a de facto aristocracy. For generations to come, it would be these men and their descendants -- called the First Families of Virginia, although they weren’t actually first -- who would dominate Virginia politics. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and several other presidents all came from these families. So did Robert E. Lee, the Confederate general.

The First Families established themselves quickly and they came to dominate the government. According to Fischer, “Of 152 Virginians who held top offices in the late seventeenth and early eighteenth century, at least sixteen were connected to aristocratic families, and 101 were the sons of baronets, knights and the rural gentry of England. Seven more came from armigerous urban families, with coats of arms at the college of heralds. Only eighteen were the sons of yeomen, traders, mariners, artisans, or “plebs.” None came to Virginia as laborers or indentured servants”.

Indeed, the Governor’s Council itself became almost hereditary. Again, according to Fischer, “As early as 1660, every seat on the Council was filled by members of five related connections. As late as 1775, every member of that august body was descended from a councilor who had served in 1660.” From 1680 to independence, two thirds of the seats were held by members of just 25 families. And remember, these were the men picking all the other officeholders in the colony. It never became a genuine hereditary aristocracy, but it came close enough. I think you can start to understand why Virginia was shifting towards restrictions on voting around this time.

On the other hand, politics in Maryland were generally less hereditary. Only 26 out of 137 Assemblymen from 1661 to 1689 had sons who went on to be elected themselves. And even at the higher levels of government, only two councilors out of 28 had sons who became councilors themsleves. However, even if Maryland’s politics were less hereditary, they did reflect the growing inequality in the colony. Fewer delegates were illiterate and fewer were simple planters. Lawyers, merchants and entrepreneurs became more common in government. The upper class still dominated, but there were fewer members, so the process was just more muted than in Virginia. And the voting restrictions in both colonies were very similar.

This new elite in Virginia had a rather earthy culture, filled with farming, animal husbandry, gambling, hunting, cockfighting, sex, and ever-present death. It was a peculiar mix of liberality and harsh discipline, looseness and self-control. If you think about the lifestyle of a Roman aristocrat before total decadence set in, you wouldn’t be too far off, and the Virginians themselves noticed the parallels. They aspired to a Roman sort of liberty, that of the leisured gentleman who was free to make demands of his social inferiors, but also free from social superiors who could make demands of him. This hierarchical sort of freedom could by definition only be enjoyed by a few, wealthy men. In the words of one Virginian, “I am an aristocrat. I love liberty; I hate equality.”

The society of the First Families was hierarchical, patriarchal, and honor-bound. It was not too concerned with education. Most high class men could read and write, but few few men from the lower classes and few women from any class were literate. Massachusetts had set up Harvard in the 1630s, but Virginia hardly had any primary schools. Virginia didn’t even have a printing press until the 1730s.

At one point Governor Berkeley wrote in a letter, “I thank God there are no free schools nor printing, and I hope we shall not have these [for a] hundred years; for learning has brought disobedience, and heresy... into the world, and printing has divulged them... God keep us from both!” Needless to say, the betterment of the lower classes was not a high social priority.

So what about those lower classes? How did the rest of Virginia live? Not that well, as it turns out. Fischer divides Virginia into three main social classes. The first, the elite planters I’ve been describing, made up perhaps 10% of the population and according to him “owned 50 to 75 percent of productive assets” in the colony. Within this group, the First Families were the elite of the elite.

Below them were the yeomen, farmers who owned their own land and maybe had a servant or two. This group was 20-30% of the population, and would have made up a majority of the voters. A yeoman family might be rich enough to own a few books, if that. Life for a yeoman could be precarious. A bad year could land them permanently in debt to a wealthier neighbor.

The rest of the colonists, the majority, were landless. These men were tenant farmers, or below them indentured servants, or below them slaves. From people who had no property down to people who were property. More than three quarters of immigrants came to Virginia as indentured servants. Of these servants, more than three quarters were men between the ages of 15 and 24. And immigration to Virginia overall was over 80% male. Most of these men were illiterate and unskilled farmers from the somewhat lower class in England, just a few rungs up from the bottom.

At this point most of the good land had been bought up, so it was no longer possible to just claim your 50 acres of land once you’d finished your indenture. You could head out to the frontier, but that was risky. So most new arrivals remained landless.

These young and avaricious men created about the sort of society you’d expect. In my research for the podcast, I’ve seen Virginia at this time described as a Wild West town, a boom town, and a logging town. In other words: young, male, violent, and unsettled.

Conditions in Virginia weren’t conducive to forming families, even apart from the skewed sex ratio. Only half of babies would survive until adulthood, and of those children who did reach 18, over three quarters would have lost one or both parents. So there were few families, few children, few old people. And the population kept expanding thanks to new arrivals who kept the gender and age balance out of whack.

These young men were, of course, not likely to be too politically active, even if servants had been allowed to vote. And in fact, basically no servants became politicians. “[N]ot a single indentured servant who arrived after 1640 appears to have won a seat in the assembly before 1706.” Even more remarkably, “apparently none of the burgesses from 1660 to 1706 was descended from indentured servants who emigrated after 1640.” That’s from Fischer quoting historian Martin Quitt. So even if servitude was better than life in England, it was no longer a route to high status in Virginia. That path was closed.

I’d like to end this episode by discussing the origins and legal underpinnings of both indentured servitude and slavery. Obviously slavery will become extraordinarily important to the history of Virginia and the United States as a whole, but I’ve avoided talking about it so far. While there were African slaves in Virginia from a very early date, for many decades the number was quite small, and their legal status somewhat uncertain. In the first half century of English settlement indentured servants were far more important. And slavery in large measure grew out of the tradition of servitude in the Chesapeake.

Indentured servitude has its origins in the apprenticeship system in 16th Century England. Under this system, an apprentice would contract with a master, offering him some years of service without pay in exchange for being taught a trade. However, this wasn’t a simple internship. The master had nearly total control over the apprentice’s personal life. Apprentices couldn’t marry and they had to follow all their master’s orders. They were more servants than employees.

And importantly, apprenticeship contracts could be bought and sold, so an apprentice could wind up working for a different master than the one he’d signed up with. But this was a regulated process and there was no big market for the labor of apprentices. The arrangement was temporary and apprentices could get out of their contracts if their master was abusive or if he wasn’t fulfilling his end of the bargain in teaching them a trade. No doubt the system was quite biased in favor of the master, but it was less openly mercenary than servitude in Virginia.

From the start, things in Virginia were different. For one thing, rather than working in exchange for learning a trade, indentured servants worked for several years in exchange for free passage to Virginia and for the hope of getting land in the future. So while an apprenticeship was an unequal and unfree relationship, it was one with traditional norms and expectations that regulated behavior. And the apprentice and the master had to live and work side by side. None of that was true with indentured servitude. Servitude was much more purely economic and it was crueler as a result. Servants who ran away repeatedly were branded. Female servants who got pregnant were lashed and their indenture was extended by two years to compensate their master for the time lost by having a child. Some masters would try to impregnate their servants just to get the extra years of labor.

Masters had no incentives or obligations to treat their servants well. They were disposable. And so abuse was rife. In one particularly extreme case, two servants, a woman named Elizabeth Abbott and and a man named Elias Hinton, were beaten repeatedly and savagely by their masters, a husband and wife, until they both died. At one point the woman was lashed five hundred times in a row. When she ran away her neighbors promptly returned her to her masters. (There were laws against aiding runaway servants.) After her death her body was examined and found to be “full of sores and holes very dangerously raunckled and putrified both above her wast and uppon her hips and thighes.” And yet there is no record that their masters were ever punished.

That was an unusually cruel case -- masters generally wanted their servants alive, at least -- but it was still an indicative one. Servants were property, for as long as their indenture held. According to Warren M. Billings, servants were “exchanged as commodities, were used as security in debt proceedings, and frequently formed portions of marriage settlements or inheritances.” According to Edmund S. Morgan, when a Dutch sea captain came to Virginia in the 1630s, he was shocked to see “planters gambling at cards with their servants as stakes.” I think it’s very, very easy to see how this mindset led quite easily and naturally to full-on slavery. Virginia was culturally prepared for slavery well before slavery began in earnest. Workers no longer owned their own labor. Workers were now a commodity.

There wasn’t a free market for labor, I should point out. The General Assembly passed regulations mandating minimum terms of service and things like that, so as to keep the servant class more dependant and less mobile by weakening their ability to bargain.

So why did people keep coming to Virginia as indentured servants, if the mortality was so high and the working conditions so awful? Well, the truth is that if you survived, there was real money to be made. After your contract was up you’d be your own man again. Many people did in fact decide that coming to Virginia as a servant was a worthwhile gamble. Few became rich planters, but many wound up doing better in Virginia than they would have in England, at least.

The same could not be said of the slaves, however.

Slavery has been a recurring feature of civilization for thousands of years, but the form it took in the Americas, race-based and transmitted from generation to generation, was unique. When the Europeans began conquering the Americas, they had at first relied upon native labor but that proved insufficient. Not enough Europeans wanted to come, and so the conquistadors turned to Africa to fill the gap. There had long been a small slave trade in West Africa, mainly selling off prisoners of war. The Europeans began buying these slaves and shipping them to the Americas. As the demand for African slaves increased, the supply rose to match and slave raids began to consume West Africa, destabilizing the region. By the time Jamestown was settled there were already a quarter of a million black slaves in Spanish and Portuguese America.

Slavery in British America began in the Caribbean and from there slowly spread to what would become the United States. Not only to the Chesapeake, but to New England as well. So the development of slavery in Virginia and Maryland should be no surprise, since all the other Europeans in the Americas were already importing black slaves.

The first recorded shipment of slaves to Virginia arrived in 1619, a decade after its founding. John Rolfe, husband to Pocahontas and the first grower of tobacco in the colony, noted that a Dutch ship had brought “20. and odd Negroes” to Jamestown. It’s likely, though not certain, that there may have been a handful of Africans in the colony before that date.

In the beginning the importation of slaves was haphazard. A shipment here, a shipment there. The English weren’t dominant in the slave trade at the time, and there were too few buyers in the Chesapeake to make a regular trade in slaves worthwhile. Indentured servitude made more sense on the small plantations of the time, and there was a more ready supply of them.

In 1625 there were only 23 blacks in Virginia. And in 1640 there were only 20 in Maryland. From there, the slave trade slowly accelerated, surpassing the flow of indentured servants only towards the end of the 1600s. According to Bernard Bailyn in his book The Barbarous Years, “By 1650 there were 300 blacks in Maryland; in 1660, 758; and in 1670, 1,190 (9 percent of the population), by which time Virginia’s black population had reached 2,000”, which was maybe 5% of the population.

Not all Africans who came to the Chesapeake were slaves, though probably a large majority were. Some were more like indentured servants, and were given their freedom after a few years of service. A few may have even been free. However, blacks were considered slaves until proven otherwise.

Slaves could sometimes win their freedom. And when free they could own property and even sue in court with a chance of winning. Bailyn gives the example of Northampton County, Virginia, where “In 1668 nearly a third of the fifty-nine blacks…, all of whom had arrived bound in unlimited servitude, had acquired freedom”. But that was atypical.

In general, slaves and other blacks occupied an ambiguous legal position in those first decades. Slavery wasn’t clearly distinguished from servitude yet, but it was by no means prohibited. Slaves were essentially just indentured servants whose contracts were unending.

There were some laws that discriminated along racial lines, but nothing systematic yet. For instance, the General Assembly didn’t explicitly ban free blacks from voting until well into the 1700s. There’s apparently no evidence that any black freeholders did in fact ever vote in Virginia, but it’s not actually impossible. We do know, for instance, that later on in South Carolina a few free blacks voted, even after they had been banned from doing so, so it’s at least possible that in Virginia at least a few blacks voted at one time or another. We just don’t know.

But racial prejudice definitely did exist in Virginia at an early date, if not in any fully thought out way. For instance, in 1630 a white man was “soundly whipped, before an assembly of Negroes and others for abusing himself to the dishonor of God and shame of Christians, by defiling his body in lying with a negro.” The antipathy went beyond mere distrust of foreigners. Africans were seen by the English as savage and lesser. A separate people you shouldn’t mix with too closely. Hence the abhorrence of interracial sex from so early on. Not that that stopped people from intermingling in practice, of course.

While racism encouraged legislators to sharpen the distinction between white and black, economic motives encouraged them to sharpen the distinction between servant and slave. Quite simply there was a lot of money to be made if you owned the right to someone else’s labor for life. And slaves were hardly in a position to fight for their rights in a culturally alien land. So step by step, law by law, the Chesapeake turned itself into a slave society.

In 1664 the Maryland Assembly passed a brief bill titled “An Act Concerning Negroes & Other Slaves”, which made explicit that all blacks were to serve for life and that their children would be enslaved as well. Even mixed-race children were to be enslaved. The legal reasoning underlying slavery would be refined over time, but the basic logic is already clear to see. Slavery was becoming the heritable status of a new racial caste. Ambiguities like mixed race children were dealt with in a way that preserved the long-term interests of the planters.

In 1667 the Virginia Assembly made it clear that baptising slaves wasn’t enough to free them. Later, violence by a master against a slave was legalized, up to and including murder. Interracial marriage between both whites and blacks and whites and Native Americans was banned, on pain of expulsion from the colony. I’ve already mentioned that aiding runaway servants was a crime, so that was easily extended to slaves.

Full-on slave codes didn’t really appear until the 1700s, but the progression towards them was straightforward and was never really challenged. In the words of Warren Billings, it happened “[G]radually but not haphazardly”. I suppose it wasn’t inevitable for the American South to become a slave society in the way it did, but it’s also hard to see how it could have been avoided. There was money to be made in slavery, and there was a visible racial divide on which you could build a caste system. There was a pre-existing Transatlantic slave trade. Moving from a system of apprenticeship to one of servitude and then of slavery was natural; the Virginians were merely expanding the market in unfree labor as far as it could go. And racism was present in the Chesapeake from the beginning, making the whole process easier.

So right as Virginia was gaining a new overclass it was also gaining a new underclass. And its political structure evolved to match. The new upper class marginalized everyone else. Most Virginians were barred from voting, and few could rise high enough to dream of running for office. The earlier, more egalitarian, period can be seen in hindsight as an anomaly, just an artifact of a colony that was still developing politically. Now that Virginia was growing and stabilizing, it was coming to more closely resemble England’s lesser political openness. And lurking below everything, ever more important and ever more threatening, was slavery. William Berkeley himself wasn’t the main cause of all this, but it is the legacy of his time in office.

On the next episode of Early and Often, that time in office will come to a dismal end. All of the tensions that have been building in Virginia will explode into open revolt. By the end, Jamestown will be in ruins and the government nearly overthrown. This episode will wrap up our time in the Chesapeake for now, so join me next time as everything comes crashing down in the tumult of Bacon’s Rebellion.

And if you like the podcast, please rate it on iTunes. You can also keep track of Early and Often on Twitter, at earlyoftenpod, or read transcripts of every episode at the blog, at earlyandoftenpodcast.wordpress.com. Thanks for listening.

Sources:

The Colonial Period of American History Volume I by Charles M. Andrews

The Barbarous Years by Bernard Bailyn

The Causes of Bacon's Rebellion: Some Suggestions by Warren M. Billings

The Law of Servants and Slaves in Seventeenth-Century Virginia by Warren M. Billings  

Sir William Berkeley and the Forging of Colonial Virginia by Warren M. Billings

History of Elections in the American Colonies by Cortlandt F. Bishop

The Southern Colonies in the Seventeenth Century 1607-1689 by Wesley Frank Craven

Albion’s Seed by David Hackett Fischer

Cavalier Culture? The Social Development of Colonial Virginia by James Horn

Foundations of Representative Government in Maryland, 1632—1715 by David W. Jordan

Elections in Colonial Virginia by John G. Kolp

American Slavery, American Freedom, by Edmund S. Morgan

The First American Boom: Virginia 1618 to 1630 by Edmund S. Morgan

The American Colonies in the Seventeenth Century Volume III by Herbert L. Osgood

The Origins Debate: Slavery and Racism in Seventeenth-Century Virginia by Alden T. Vaughan

[nanigma]

Ive been meaning to apologize to you properly i really did not wanted to get under your skin but i have just word things real poorly which makes me sound real arrogant. Hope you can forgive me and if not i'll just get out of your way and wish you the best

First of all, “Gays are disgusting and should not exist” was NOT the intention. But using the word “insult” though true for some, was an insult in itself. For that I must apologise. Initially the ask was more than 5 times longer, but character limitations meant many cuts, changes and it got more blunt in order to fit. Then I got tired and sent it as is, I’m sorry for that too. So I have done what I should have in the last ask; split it (whether you intend to carry on reading or not). This is 1/6

2/6. Wouldn’t IS give the option for characters to choose from either gender if that were the case? They could exchange half the S-supports with ones of the same gender and keep the overall amount for constraint concerns, or laziness. The fact that it is made in Japan who still withholds traditionalism and by mostly older men who grew up in that environment supports this theory.     

3/6. Even for fictional characters fans like to delve into every aspect of characters as if they were real. It helps to know all about them to write about them. So I assumed your thoughts on Leo were concrete; doesn’t help that your analysis of characters are logical and that others say similar too, so it feels like heterosexuals are looked down on or overshadowed by LGBT that has taken the media by storm. This is where my questions arose from. I guess this is what LGBT community have felt.             

4/6. I don’t recall many LGBT events in the medieval era, but in the ancient times of Romans and Celts they existed as the norm. Since the subject was mostly about Leo I was asking in terms of royalty as well, for their line that must carry on it seems to make more sense for heterosexual relationships to be the norm - anything outside of that can go on whichever path they like because they aren’t restrained by royal duties or for some social barriers.

5/6. If I could change Camilla’s armour I would, along with Charlotte’s, Nyx, Kagero, Ophelia, the berserker and Oni classes and do something with Orochi’s top. I would also give F!Corrin leggings like her male counterpart, and make them better in the story that matches with their support conversations so people would stop bullying them. I blame the developers for that. But even if I could change it the damage is done, and people will continue to hate.

6/6. (It seems that you can only ask 5 times before waiting around an hour) And I guess I do have a case of homophobia, its something that I’m still trying to understand and get used to. Though not outright crushing, I do appreciate some of the same gender. Is this what you mean by “…fall in some place in-between.”? Then yes, this would relate to everyone. 

(Very long answer below the cut)

Like I said yesterday, I really appreciated this ask (series) and know how much courage it must have taken you to do so (yes, even on anon). I do admit, that some of the things you said really got under my skin, but that was mostly because it’s a very sensitive topic for me, not because your ask was particularly hostile. It was worded very.. unfortunately, true, but I could tell you weren’t outright malicious. You also caught me at a bad time I guess.

1) I didn’t actually think you were trying to say that, but I feel it’s the feeling behind the word “insult”. Of course, you didn’t intend that word either, butI didn’t back then. I just feel that being “offended” (only word I can find right now) by someone elses private headcanon (of a character being bi in this case), is, well, that person’s own problem.. As long they aren’t trying to force their headcanon on others, people are entitled to believe whatever they want about a character. If you really cannot deal with seeing someone elses’ headcanon, unfollow that person or ask them to tag the posts that talk about it. Ultimately, people should be able to talk about their interpretations on their private blogs, and it’s on you to avoid whatever you cannot deal with.

2) Again, whatever Intsys thinks or intended about the characters doesn’t affect my headcanons.. that’s literally the definition of it. Something that is canon to me, and not canon canon. I am sure they didn’t intend for Leon to be viewed as LGBT, but they know that catering to fangirls is a straight way to $$$, so they probably think of adding bi options in the first place as fanservice or something. I am definitely calling Death of the Author on this one. Their intentions matter zilch to me when I analyze the game. It’s only fair, since my opinion, on it’s own, matters zilch to them either, and I doubt I am going to convince them of making Leo bi in canon. My only way to respond is sharing headcanons which I feel make sense with the established facts… not rewriting the script. I don’t see how I am not allowed to do that because it’s not official canon. Most of fandom is build on headcanons, and I am sure you have your own ideas about a story that the author either didn’t specify or clearly didn’t intend. We are’t just mindlessly consuming media like gospel. Each and every one of us walks away with a different interpretation of it. And I think that can be very beautiful and sometimes even better than what happened in canon.

3) My thoughts on Leon, are that his relationships with men are very close in a way that’s more relaxed and feels more intimate to me than with many of his S-ranks. Part of that has to do with not being reminded of Camilla, but I also feel like there is something he shares with Takumi in particular that he doesn’t with anyone else. If you interpret it as friendship, that’s fine by me. I just think there’s something else to it, and I love being able to explore it in fandom. There are certainly people in the fandom that bash hetero couples, but I find a lot of the time those people are straight themselves and often in it to fetishize gay people/relationships anyway. But for those who don’t do this… you have to understand fandom is a tiny bubble compared to the mainstream audiences. It’s a safe haven for many, who can get pretty aggressive in defending what they believe is “their turf”. Because outside of it.. if you say a certain character is gay/bi/other you’ll get disbelief at best and outright hostility at worst. LGBT are alienated from many places, so they tend to be very concentrated wherever they aren’t. Doesn’t mean it’s a good thing to try and drive out others of course. I do have “straight” ships myself, and I am always annoyed when people try to prevent me from shipping them. (As you can tell, I am very adamant on being allowed to “do my own thing” no matter which side).

4) There were multiple non-straight monarchs in medieval times (though opinions vary of course and records are fragmented from those times). Like William II (either gay or ace) or Edward II (probably bi or gay) to name only English examples. Of course, producing an heir is always an issue for royalty, (or aristocrats in general) and it’s certainly interesting to think of Leon being faced with it, which more than one fic has explored in the past. He may deal with it like Philippe, Duke of Orléans did: Fathering kids in an arranged marriage while having male lovers. Or relying on Xander and his sisters (whose offspring are still considered royalty) to keep the line going. Birthright is the only scenario where he is outright forced to have an heir himself, and again, that doesn’t exclude potential lovers, though I admit I don’t imagine him taking one in that route.

5) So you agree the developer’s can be very frustrating sometimes haha;; Anyway, I mainly just pulled out Camilla as an example for unrealistic armour, because I am so used to people who pull the medieval argument being very selective when it comes to the stuff (such as certain GOT fans ardently defending the sexism as historical, but not batting an eye at shaved armpits and anachronistic dresses). My point was that Fates is in a fantasy world and does not adhere to medieval standards in multiple ways, nor does it have to since it’s explicitly not a historical documentary (though I do wish they’d tone down the fanservice too). It just can’t be judged by them, since it’s a product of the 21st century.

6) Being able to admit that is already a good sign, since it involves a lot of self-reflection. I am sure it’s hard to overcome one’s ingrained beliefs, and it takes a lot of time, but I think you are on the right track. So long as you try to keep an open mind about things and educate yourself I am sure you’ll continue to make progress. And yes, I think that most people experience some form of “attraction” (sexual or romantic) for either gender, just to varying degrees. I am glad I could explain this to you, and thank you for taking the time to consider it. 

[driiven-blog]

the wanky hanky panky psychological profile of Erwin Smissu this isn’t all of it, but at this point, it’s so long and ive gone off on tangents of so many things that it’s easier to just post it. if people are actually concerned and have questions, you’re totally welcome to ask. ill probably update this periodically and try to clean it up.

im gonna preface this with some things. first off, i do not headcanon erwin as a full fledged sociopath / to have a fully diagnosable aspd ( antisocial personality disorder ). he shows traits and factors, and i will always try to specify that. secondly, most of my points and such should not !! be taken as any aspect of professional or anything. this has very much been experimentation. my own research and my own understanding, small experiences, a great deal of forums and sites galore, and general self-education. i disclaim this because i’m sure there’s going to be factors which might not be accurate or etc. but i will do my best ! third, i would also like to say that im going to do a bit of defining based off of large factors that define the disorder and sorta branch off --------- i know no diagnosis is perfect. following perfect to the definitions in textbooks isn’t realistic, and i can tell you that his responses will always depend on situations and etc. so yeah, just cuz im following specific bullet points, i don’t want it to seem like im locking him into it. i just want to hit on prominent factors that are known to be present in people who have aspd, and also just to point out things he’s done in the canon manga / anime that reflect some of those things.

also probably gonna touch up on some ptsd. cuz lbr, who doesn’t fucking have that in the snk world. it’ll be interwoven.

alright, so here we go. i wanna start with a pretty prominent factor that follows with aspd: general understanding deficiencies and an inability to really flow with them Societal Norms like all the other kids. my own headcanon is erwin grew up as a pretty lonely kid. liked to befriend animals, specifically dogs --------- loyal to a fault, quick to obey and all that sort. erwin admits in chapter 51 of the manga that he was called a creep often ( it depends on the translation, but the gist no matter what page is that he’s a fuckin weirdy ). but it extends more than just the probability he was a secluded kid.

everyone knows erwin’s father was killed because of erwin’s big mouth ( beginning from here to pg 16 ). even after his father’s death, erwin continued talking about his father’s theories, despite the fact the government practically warned his ass with that shit ( source ). he proceeds to admit he stopped telling people, but im going to stop here just to point out how long it took him --------- erwin didn’t stop talking about the very material that’s banned. he still never quite took that he shouldn’t talk about that stuff in public ears. it took him years to finally shut his trap --------- and even then, it was to prevent people from realizing his own selfish gain.

also here’s a quick toss-up of some ptsd possibilities. check this page out. erwin looking up into the face of a titan as it devours one of his friends, a memory he’s recalling clearly. and at such a young age, still with his round cheeks --------- before puberty, presumably. the guy’s seen shit from a young age. while it certainly seems to affect him far less obviously than some of the others, i would absolutely consider it likely has its hold on him. i won’t go to into where i think it may or why etc, by this is just a little note.

so now let’s talk about a little beauty called self-worth and power hunger. narcissism is a big trend, though it isn’t actually a factor of aspd. it can be, but it’s kinda misconstrued that it definitely is. from the research i’ve looked into and direct words from those better versed in it than i am, it’s not. i will say, however, i think erwin has a very heavy sense of self-worth, and a sort of self-centered thought process. his rise in command is well deserved, but also really quite fortunate. he wants power. he wants to reach his goals, he wants to see his dream.

at the same time, i think there is an insecurity that scrapes at his skin in there. the world regards him as a demon, and he really doesn’t outwardly seem to care ( as evidenced by a scene where he kinda just shits on the life of a dead dude, but then makes a speech that sorta redeems that - still the page is important for how the woman reacts to his approach and his just ruthless rips in front of a crowd ) ---------- however, he does show some humanity in it.

in this chapter ( from pg. 6 to 7 and a little bit of 8 ), erwin expresses doubts in his decisions. zackley calls him out on it being his sense of duty, bein harsh on himself and what such.

general emotion cap. i say cap cuz i don’t wanna say it’s a full out deficiency --------- erwin does have emotions, something i joke about a lot. i will specify that aspd is usually classified specifically as being apathetic, showing a pretty hefty lack of remorse for anything not directly affecting them. not caring about hurting others, stealing, etc.

i will say that this does and doesn’t vary. erwin is willing to do what he must to achieve his goals. if he has to break fingers and end someone else’s job, he’ll see through whatever must be done. hell, he gets the whole royal order and nobility booted from their seats ( they were corrupt, however some of the severity he implies like in acwnr from this page to pg. 21 ).

still, it doesn’t mean he’s not swallowing down anything that threatens to rear its ugly head when people are calling him a complete monster. even the smaller sacrifices that must be made, in the case where they couldn’t reclaim any parts of the bodies of some corpsman lost ( from my timestamp to 10:00 ), erwin walks away with a solemn face. it does affect him, yet he bears it with a cold face. not all of it is entirely unfeeling, yet it doesn’t mean he definitely dismisses a lot more than ordinarily.

while i’m here, let’s touch on erwin’s stray from humanity’s will. this isn’t quite a spectrum prover or anything, this is just an aside, if anything. while it’s stated in later chapters that erwin has been in it for himself since the beginning, i don’t believe that to be true. i firmly believe he has been driven to fight for humanity, for it all, to see the world get better. i personally find that with the loss of his arm came a bit more than just physical loss, but a drain in sanity and a buildup of fear. a reminder of just how fragile humans are and how temporary life is ---------- erwin’s never been afraid of death, but no man wants to live as bait for the rest of his life. disabled and half as useful --------- nothing but a mind. pitiful.

inappropriate responses !! creepy smile !!! my boy’s creepy smile. i just find it hella noteworthy that erwin almost never reacts like any of the other characters in the manga --------- they all have a pretty keen sense of dread, horror and guilt. it seems erwin’s real fond of just smiling at the most fucking inappropriate of times. no matter what news he’s given, he always has some sort of ulterior motives ---------- something proves him right, something he discovers that’s new. it doesn’t matter that titans might actually be humans, groundbreaking news to anyone with half a mind ( source page ), he’s grinning because he’s both amazed and a little pleased with himself that he was right.

or the fact that, upon facing execution by the court, he grins to himself. nile staring at him. i personally think it’s because of erwin’s little bit of understanding what’s about to happen, the ace in his sleeve --------- no less, that’s no fuckin grand invitation to go ahead and cheese it.

sex / relationships. i’ve spoken about this before with a few people --------- erwin really has a very low sex drive. he’s not an awfully intimate person, but whenever he is, it’s typically more lust than anything. his early years were more experiments than anything else --------- never a stable girlfriend, he just slept with fellows and ladies in the corps. some of it was very detached relations for both parties --------- some of it was a very cold morning after from erwin’s half, who had been, from the beginning, invested merely for the experience.

because that’s really what it came down to. prime time, puberty hitting, children growing amidst their peers who they have eyes for. erwin went from a round little kid to a tall, handsome young man --------- he had his fair share of romps, and when he was settled, he was settled.

while love isn’t terribly prominent in his life, he has experienced it. his affinity grows like any --------- with the passing of time, a moderately lustful attraction thinning out into more interest. something more genuine. he got close once upon a time with a woman named marie ( nile’s wife waddup nile ), but in the end, she politely turned him away. he spent days, if not weeks fawning over her. using his charisma, charming her, bringing her things. offering dates. she was wooed by him, but even she knew they weren’t the right pick. and, like nile says, erwin picked titans over her at the end of the day. where she wanted a real family, erwin did not.

in general, his experience with love has always been very limited. even as a boy, he loved his father --------- yet love was shown in actions. in doing well and practicing hard on the piano to show his father his affinity for it. doing things to express his love, not saying it. words spoil the sentiment. words remind the world how dangerous things like love are in a lifestyle that’s always taking.

i would also just like to tack in that his libido is low, like i said. sometimes he’ll just go a few months on a dry spell and be totally fine, a complete disinterest --------- like asexual disinterest. then sometimes he’ll regain that want, specifically if he’s feeling a little lonely or some self doubt or any of those pleasant little products of being part of one of the most hated military branches.

genetics is always a big question people ask me. like, does he show these traits in other verses ? Is it him, or the world they live in ? the answer is that it’s absolutely in his family. he’s going to show these traits no matter the verse --------- it may vary in severity, being it is he’s not literally being forced to see death and kill people in an attempt to better humanity, but yes. he will grow up a loner, with issues understanding, with a cap on his emotions, with a hunger for power, etc. etc.

he do feel tho. a big misunderstanding is that he doesn’t, and that’s not true at all. while he’s definitely far more repressed ( elsa voice: conceal don’t feel ) and occasionally just will entirely not feel or misinterpret some responses, big hitters like regret and shit are definitely prominent.

he does function on a strong beliefs system that helps him overcome some of it, too. i’d just like to toss that in bc sometimes, with confidence in his decisions, even with loss, he can come out feeling like it was a success because he so strongly knows that he himself tried. there’s less regret blooming from that.

still, here’s a prime example. after so much that’s happened, erwin losing his arm. expressing, even if in a bit of a joking manner, about how an arm is hardly enough sacrifice for all the people he’s killed. may he say it in a pretty casual way, but there’s still some weight in those words.

also erwin confessing to zackley in this chapter, which i mentioned earlier ( from pg. 6 to 7 and a little bit of 8 ), that maybe just letting the mp win would have been easier. that maybe just laying down and dying would be of greater benefit to humanity.

pawns, and erwin using people. it’s no surprise to anyone that erwin sees many of his troops as assets. even commander shadis, when erwin was still a captain, confesses in a thought that he feels like he’s a pawn of his own subordinate in this page here.

because of the way erwin’s life goes, those that he’s surrounded with are the people most important to him. of most use. i won’t say he isn’t caring and sincere in that, but there’s certainly a specific sort of manner he treats some. how he regards those in his life and by what importance, and who’s worth the time of day and who’s not tbqh.

that’s all for now. this has all been pretty general and mostly just hitting prominent canon points that show most of the evidence for itself. again, if there’s any questions, i highly encourage people to ask ! more will likely be added later.

[researchmethodologies]

8/11/2017 Ethics in Visual Communication

Ethics are defined as a set of moral principles, especially relating to or affirming a specified group, field, or form of conduct (Oxford dictionary). In this lecture Dr Graham McLaren, Head of Field of Research, Enterprise and Postgraduate, discussed the moral obligations we as creative practitioners have not only from a industry-related perspective but on a cultural and social level. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend his talk as I travelled to London together with the MA Visual Communication course to visit a number of exhibitions. As this was a discussion-led seminar, it would have been really interesting to share opinions and see where similarities and dissimilarities between individuals and disciplines may exist.

Ethics is the science of doing good - but what are the challenges this might bring with in producing and communicating through graphic design? - what is “good” and ethical design?

Personally, I believe with the perception of the designer as an author comes a sense of responsibility back to society. This means not only doing the right thing today but thinking in a bigger context and considering its long term influence on the audience and society as a whole. Design as a problem solving practice should have the ultimate aim to improve the quality of people’s life and not cause harm, outrage and anger. But this is where it becomes difficult as predicting how the audience will perceive and interpret a message is almost impossible. Especially in a time where graphic design can be seen, accessed and discussed by a huge amount of people, possibly even across different nations and cultural backgrounds, it is hard to produce a response which reflects the needs, interests and personal preferences of such a diverse audience. Even for the most innocent visual communication that has no bad intentions, there will always be at least one person who might feel excluded, not fully represented or even offended by the messages and values conveyed. As mentioned in the semiotics lecture, the way we read design is determined by highly subjective thinking and personal experience and opinion, so producing ethical and inclusive design solutions that please everyone proves very difficult. To an extend we can rely on our knowledge of social and cultural norms as well as audience research, but in a world that is constantly shifting and where opinion is increasingly diverse this is almost impossible.

This discussion made me think of my place within the industry and role as a visual communicator. What is my working philosophy and what messages and values do I want to communicate? After all, I am providing a service (working for a client) so am I actually entitled to an opinion, and is it justified to decline work which I don’t support and feel passionate about? Can I reject commissions that I find unethical? A lawyer has to defend murderers, rapists and other criminals, so what about creating a brand identity for a landmine company, a pro-racism or pro-drugs political campaign? I think it’s a very tricky question with no ultimate answer. I guess it always depends on the actual situation and project but I think it’s important as a designer to never sell your soul to something you don’t actually support.

As part of the talk, we were also asked to fill in a questionnaire to reflect on our ethical principles in the context of our own personal practice and the art school environment in which we currently operate. As I missed the session, I couldn’t be part of the discussion and hear what other students think - Unfortunately there is also no audio recording available. This is a broad summary about the answers I gave although I must admit that I found some of them were really challenging. Talking to my peers and evaluating both sides would maybe have helped coming to a clearer conclusion:

1. When making decisions I would say I rely more on personal feelings and intuition than on hard facts. I think this is what makes me a creative thinker. However, as much as I enjoy having creative freedom, I also like to set a number of constraints in accordance to my work and base possible outcomes on reflective thinking and informed secondary research. I also believe that I have a strong sense about what is morally acceptable and what not. As mentioned earlier, I think graphic design should have good intentions and not cause outrage and controversy or discriminate against people.

2. When determining whether an action is wrong or right I think it is more important to see whether a rule, commandment or moral principle has been broken. Ethical considerations have to be made beforehand. Audience research often helps me to find out what the dos and don’ts for communication are. 3. In general, I think it is worse telling a lie and protecting someone’s feelings than hurting them by telling the truth. When it is done in an appropriate way as constructive criticism, I don’t see why I shouldn’t share my opinion.

4. “Being able to produce good work, even if it means making a small loss“ would be definitely a great ambition as a financially secure graphic designer in the future, yet unfortunately, from a professional perspective I must admit that this seems to be a rather unrealistic thinking approach. It is very frustrating that quality often suffers with the limitations a client’s budget imposes. But these economic factors are also part of good problem solving and should be considered at the beginning.

5. I would say I am rather “sympathetic and feeling“ than “just and fair“, mainly because I don’t like direct conflict. However, again I would say it depends on the situation and the proposed problem/argument. Relating back to the third question I would be honest and direct while using appropriate arguments for discussion and trying to avoid conflict.

6. For this question, I decided to choose “I don’t think it is justifiable to use the ideas of others even if they can’t and won’t find out“. Copying work is against one of my fundamental working principles - to be innovative and creative. However, I also believe that being inspired by an existing idea and adopting to someone’s style is something less unethical.

7. Personally, I think the hardest question in this questionnaire was whether my vision for the future was to produce work which is “ethical, moral and sustainable“ or “be happy and wealthy“. While, of course thinking what effect my work might have from a wider perspective is very important, my own personal happiness is also something very valuable. I would say finding a right balance between both would be most suitable solution for me. I would not feel happy, knowing that I acted unethical or even hurt someone in the process.

Sources: Oxford Dictionaries, English. (2017). ethic, Definition of ethic in English by Oxford Dictionaries. [online] Available at: https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/ethic [Accessed 8 Nov. 2017].

[shou7]

Translation: I Want to Eat Your Pancreas by Yoru Sumino (Chapter 4)

Synopsis

One day, I - a high schooler - found a paperback in the hospital. The “Disease Coexistence Journal” was its title. It was a diary that my classmate, Sakura Yamauchi, had written in secret. Inside, it was written that due to her pancreatic disease, her days were numbered. And thus, I coincidentally went from Just-a-Classmate to a Secret-Knowing-Classmate. It was as if I were being drawn to her, who was my polar opposite. However, the world presented the girl that was already suffering from an illness with an equally cruel reality…

The best-selling, award-winning debut work by Yoru Sumino: “Bestsellers 2016 (Overall) by NIPPAN” - 4th Place “Bestsellers 2016 (Paperback Fiction) by NIPPAN” - 1st Place “Bestsellers 2016 (Overall) by TOHAN” - 5th Place “Bestsellers 2016 (Literary Books) by TOHAN” - 1st Place “Bookstore Grand Prix 2016” - 2nd Place “DA VINCI BOOK OF THE YEAR 2015” - 2nd Place “Bestsellers 2015 (Literary Books) by TOHAN” - 6th Place As of January 2017, this book has sold over 720,000 copies.

Please buy the book to support the author. (amazon.com)

Download the complete volume in PDF format here, or in ePUB format here.

(Chapter Index)

　

The ‘Disease Coexistence Journal’ is, in essence, her will - that is what I believe. In that unused paperback, she writes about the everyday things she sees and feels, leaving them behind. Evidently, it seemed that this method of recording had rules unique to her.

I couldn’t say I knew any for certain, but was fairly sure of a few that I had observed. Firstly, she wasn’t simply recording her day-to-day experiences. Days where she saw something special, days where she felt something special - within the ‘Disease Coexistence Journal’, she compiled only things that were of value in leaving behind after her own death.

Secondly, she chose not to leave behind non-textual information in the ‘Disease Coexistence Journal’. It seemed she thought that things like drawings or graphs didn’t fit in a paperback, choosing to only write with a black ball pen on the ‘Disease Coexistence Journal’.

Lastly, she decided that she wouldn’t show anyone the ‘Disease Coexistence Journal’ until she died. With the exception of me, having seen the very first page due even more so to a force majeure than a blunder on her part, no one else had seen her life’s records. It seems that she had told her parents to release it to all her loved ones after her death. Whatever its present purpose, those around her would receive her message after she died, thus making it something akin to her will.

But even though nobody should have been able to influence those records or be affected by them until she died, just once, I had given her my opinion on the ‘Disease Coexistence Journal’.

It was regarding my name - I didn’t want it to appear in the ‘Disease Coexistence Journal’. It was simply because I didn’t want to receive any unnecessary scrutiny or criticism from her parents and friends after her death. In the midst of our library committee work, she had made a remark regarding the ‘Disease Coexistence Journal’ that “various people appear inside”. It was then that I formally requested the omission of my name. Her answer - “I’m the one writing it so that’s up to me.” I swallowed whatever more words I had. “If you say you don’t like it, it makes me want to do it even more,” she added. I resigned myself to the trouble that would ensue after my classmate’s death.

With that said, my name had probably already been written down together with the episodes involving yakinku and dessert, but for the two days after we had gone to Dessert Paradise, my name shouldn’t have appeared in the ‘Disease Coexistence Journal’.

The reason was that in those two days, I hadn’t exchanged a single word with her at school. It wasn’t unusual or anything, since we had always done our own thing in class. Instead, it could be said that those days adorned by yakiniku and desserts were the irregular ones.

I had attended school, taken tests, and returned home quietly. Though I often felt the stares of her best friend and those from that group, I determined that there was no need for me to go out of my way to be affected by them.

Nothing truly special had happened in those two days. If I were forced to pick something, there were only two minor incidents, the first of which - while I was silently sweeping the corridor, a boy that normally didn’t even so much as look at me had come to talk to me.

“Yo, Plain-Classmate, are ya dating Yamauchi?”

His rather inelegant manner of speaking had a sort of freshness to it. I suspected that it may have been the case that he carried some affection for her, and in turn was illogically angry at me, but his appearance suggested otherwise. Judging by the look on his face, he wasn’t the slightest bit upset, in fact, there was some air of misplaced glee about him. He must have been one of those frivolous people that were like bundles of curiosity.

“No, absolutely not.”

“That so? But the both of ya had dessert, right?”

“We just happened to have a meal together.”

“What’s with that?”

“Why are you interested?”

“Hm? Ah, don’t tell me ya think I like Yamauchi? No way! Look, I like girls that are more refined.”

Even though I didn’t ask, he continued to blabber on nonchalantly. It seemed that the only thing we could agree on was that she wasn’t refined.

“I see, so we had the wrong idea, but everyone in class is buzzing ‘bout it ya know.”

“It’s all a misunderstanding, so I don’t mind it.”

“How mature, ya want some gum?”

“Not really. Could you hold the dustpan for me?”

“Leave it to me.”

He was flaky and always skipped out on cleaning duty, so I thought he’d turn me down. But contrary to expectations, he helpfully held onto the dustpan for me. Perhaps he didn’t understand the concept of clean-up time, and had someone taught him, he’d have been willing to do it properly.

He didn’t pursue the matter any further than that. This was the first incident that happened within those two days that I found to be irregular.

Having a conversation with a classmate wasn’t that unpleasant, but while the next irregularity was trivial, it had put me into somewhat of a melancholic mood. The bookmark that should have been sandwiched within my paperback had gone missing. Though I fortunately remembered the scene I had read up to, it wasn’t something that was distributed for free at bookshops and the like; it was something made of thin plastic that I had bought when I went to the museum previously. I didn’t know when it had gone missing, but in any case, even though I wasn’t the least bit bitter that my own carelessness was the root cause, I felt down for the first time in a while.

However, despite feeling down about something that was ultimately superficial, those two days were normal for me. And since the norm for me was tranquillity - that meant I hadn’t been haunted by the girl who was close to death.

The beginning of regularity’s end began on Wednesday night. I was enjoying the last of “normalcy” when I received a single message.

No matter how much I hoped and wished, nothing could change the fact that at that time, I hadn’t noticed the signs of abnormality beginning - it was probably because I was a character. Even in novels, the only ones that knew the setting of the first chapter were the readers. The characters themselves don’t know a single thing.

The message’s contents were as such:

“Good job with the tests! We’re getting a day off from the tests tomorrow, aren’t we? [smiley face] To get right to the point, will you be free? You’ll be free anyway right? I’m thinking of going on a trip on the train! [peace sign] Anywhere you want to go?”

Her making assumptions about people’s circumstances sort of ruined my mood, but she had hit the bull’s-eye when she said I was free, and I didn’t have any reason to turn her down, so I replied, “I’m fine with going anywhere you want to go to before you die.”

Of course, this would later come back to bite me in the neck. I simply should have known better than to leave the decision-making to her.

And so, the message specifying the place and time soon followed. The rendezvous point was a large and prominent train station within the prefecture, and the time was peculiarly early, but I wrote it off as just another one of her many whims.

I replied with a message containing just two characters, and she responded with the last message I received that day.

“You absolutely can’t break this promise okay?”

No matter how much we opposed each other, I fundamentally never broke promises, so I replied with a final “alright” and left my cellphone on my desk.

As a spoiler, the word “promise” was the crux of the girl’s trick. Actually, perhaps it was only I who had interpreted it as a trick. I’d thought that the “promise” she mentioned referred to our outing tomorrow. I was wrong. Her “promise” referred to my slip of the tongue - “I’m fine with going anywhere you want to go to before you die.”

The next day, I headed to our meeting place early in the morning and found her already waiting there. She was carrying a sky blue backpack that she usually didn’t bring along, and wearing a straw hat that she usually didn’t put on - she looked as though she were leaving on a journey.

Before we even exchanged greetings, she expressed her shock at my appearance.

“You’re dressed too lightly! Is that all you’re carrying? What about your change of clothes?”

“…………Change of clothes?”

“Hmm, well, I guess you can just buy some over there. Seems like there’ll be a Uniqlo.”

“Over there? Uniqlo?”

That was the first time I felt signs of unease in my heart.

Treating my misgivings and questions like wind to her ears, she looked at her watch and responded with the question - “have you eaten breakfast?”

“It wasn’t very filling, but I had bread.”

“I haven’t eaten. Is it fine if we get something?”

I thought that there wasn’t any particular issue with that, so I assented. She grinned and started to head towards her destination in large strides. I had assumed that we were headed to a convenience store, but we arrived at a bento store instead.

“Huh, you’re getting a railway bento?”

“Yeah, it’s for eating on the Shinkansen. Are you getting one too?”

“Wait wait wait wait wait.”

I grabbed the upper arm of the girl that was happily admiring the bentos lined up on the display, and pulled her away from the cashier. The granny at the register had been smiling pleasantly as she glanced at the girl, but when their eyes met a second time, the girl wore a shocked expression, giving the granny a shock too.

“That should be my expression.”

“What’s wrong?

"Shinkansen? Railway bento? Explain properly - what exactly are we doing today?”

“Like I said, we’re going on a trip on the train.”

“So by 'train’, you meant the Shinkansen? And when you say 'trip’, just how far do you mean for us to go?”

After making a face that said she finally remembered something, she plunged her hand into her pocket and took out two rectangular pieces of paper. I immediately recognised that they were tickets.

She passed me one, and after taking a look at it, my eyes spread wide open.

“Um, is this a joke?”

She chortled. It seemed like she was serious.

“It says we’re not going somewhere for a day trip, so it seems like we can still rethink this.”

“…………No, no, Get-Along-kun, you got it wrong.”

“What a relief, so it really was a joke.”

“That’s not it, we’re not going for just a day trip.”

“…………Huh?”

The futility of the entire exercise aside, our conversation from this point on flowed in such a way that I ended up overpowered. For the sake of convenience, a large part of it has hence been omitted.

She asserted herself, and while I tried to persuade her otherwise, she played her trump card - yesterday’s messages. Thus exploited was my intention to never break a promise.

Before I realised it, I was already riding on the Shinkansen.

“Haaah.”

While staring at the flowing scenery from the window seat, I was lost on whether I should accept being thrust into the present situation. Beside me, the girl was enjoying her mixed rice.

“This is my first time going on a trip like this! Get-Along-kun, have you done anything like this before?”

“Nope.”

“You can relax y’know, since I’ve properly prepared travel magazines for today.”

“Ah, is that so.”

Even reed boats should have a limit somewhere; I frowned at myself.

Incidentally, just like the yakiniku, the money for the Shinkansen tickets came from her purse. She told me not to mind, but it wouldn’t do not to repay her, even if it was at the cost of the dignity of a human like me.

While wondering whether it was time to get a part-time job, an orange was shoved right before my eyes.

“Want some?”

“……Thanks.”

I received the orange and quietly began peeling its skin.

“You’ve got no energy at all, huh. Don’t tell me you feel like getting off?”

“No, I’m staying on board. For your plans, and the Shinkansen too. And I’m reflecting on my decision to do so.”

“What a downer, you’ve got to be more cheery when travelling!”

“Though it seems more like an abduction than a trip to me.”

“If you’re going to keep looking back on yourself, you should just look at me instead.”

“And exactly what do you mean by saying that?”

Once again treating my words like the wind, she closed the lid on the railway bento she was done with, and tied a rubber band around it. Her nimble hand movements gave off the impression that she was a perfectly alive human being.

I discouraged myself from putting into words the contrast between the sense of reality she emanated and the actual reality, and proceeded to silently eat the orange one wedge at a time. She had bought the oranges from a kiosk, but they were unexpectedly sweet and succulent. I took a look outside and saw the rural landscape spread out into the distance - a scene which I normally wouldn’t have seen. I spotted a scarecrow in the field, and for some reason, that made me resign myself to the fact that there was no longer any point in resisting.

“By the way, Get-Along-kun, what’s your first name?”

It was a sudden question from the girl comparing local specialties in her travel magazine next to me. Looking at the greenery of the mountains had calmed me down, so I responded to her query straightforwardly. Even though my name wasn’t even that unusual, she was nodding her head with great interest. Following which, she whispered my full name to herself.

“Wasn’t there a novelist with a name like yours?”

“That’s right, though I don’t know which one you thought of.”

Using my own first and last names as a base, two authors came to mind.

“Could this be the reason you like novels?”

“That’s not far off the truth. I did start reading because of that, but I like books because I think they’re interesting.”

“Hmmm, so you have the same name as your favourite author?”

“Nope. My favourite is Osamu Dazai.”

Seemingly somewhat surprised at hearing the name of a literary master, her eyes spread wide open.

“By Osamu Dazai, you mean the one that wrote 'No Longer Human’?”

“That’s right.”

“So you like gloomy books like that, huh.”

“It’s true that Osamu Dazai’s brooding nature comes through the atmosphere of his books, but words can’t be dismissed just because they’re gloomy you know.”

It was rare of me to be speaking so enthusiastically, but she responded with a pout, seemingly disinterested.

“Hmm, well, guess it just doesn’t engage me.”

“Looks like you aren’t really interested in literature, huh.”

“Yeah, not really. I read manga though.”

Just like I had expected. It wasn’t a matter of good or bad, I just couldn’t imagine her patiently reading a novel. Even for manga, if she was at home, she’d probably be reading it while loafing around her room and making noises at every little thing.

It couldn’t be helped that my conversation partner wasn’t interested in what I had to say, so I asked her something that I was curious about.

“Seems like your parents are pretty okay with you travelling. What did you do?”

“I told them that I was travelling with Kyouko. If I told my parents that I had one last thing I wanted to do, they’d most likely agree to it in tears, but as expected of travelling with a boy - I can’t tell how they’d react.”

“You’re really horrible huh - trampling on your parents’ feelings.”

“Speaking of which, what about you? What sort of excuse did you give your parents?”

“Since I didn’t want to worry my parents, I’ve been lying to them about having friends. So I told them that I was staying at a friend’s house.”

“That’s horrible, but how lonesome.”

“But couldn’t you say that no one got hurt?”

She shook her head in dismay and proceeded to retrieve another magazine from the backpack placed next to her feet. What an attitude for the culprit who had forced me to lie to the parents I loved. Seeing that she had engrossed herself with her magazine, I seized the opportunity to conjure a paperback from my sling bag, and began to focus on that instead. Worn out by the extraordinary amount of noise she had been making since morning, I wanted nothing but to surrender myself to the story and let my heart be healed.

While thinking about things like that, it suddenly dawned upon me that I was practically tempting fate to let her disrupt my peace; it was a certain someone’s fault that I had become completely paranoid. Thankfully, my precious time passed without any disturbances. I concentrated on my novel for close to an hour before I reached a good place to stop. It was then that I suddenly became aware of the peace I had managed - but never expected - to grasp. I looked to my side to see the girl soundly asleep, magazine resting on her stomach.

She didn’t wake for the rest of the trip. Not even after the Shinkansen had arrived at our station.

If I had to say it, it looked as though her short life had ended on the Shinkansen, but the truth was that she was simply impossibly hard to awaken - it wasn’t an omen, and it wasn’t really a misunderstanding either. I gently poked her cheeks and pinched her nose, but she just groggily moved away and made no signs of waking up. As a last resort, I shot a rubber band in my possession at the back of her defenceless hand - she jumped out of her seat in an overreaction.

“You could’ve just called me awake or something!” She said as she punched me in the shoulder. Even though I had went through all the trouble to wake her up - unbelievable.

“Our first landing! Waaah! I can smell ramen!”

“Isn’t that just as expected of your imagination?”

“I definitely smell it! Isn’t it your nose that’s rotten?”

“I’m just grateful that my brain isn’t rotten like yours.”

“It’s my pancreas that’s rotten though.”

“I’m a coward, so let’s ban that deathblow from now on. It’s not fair.”

While laughing, she said, “What if we made Get-Along-kun a deathblow too?” But I didn’t have any plans to contract a serious illness in the near future, so I politely turned her down.

We took a long escalator down from the platform to a floor where the souvenir shop and the rest area were located. The space seemed to have been newly renovated - it got full marks for cleanliness and left me with a favourable impression.

We took another escalator to get to the ground floor, and we finally reached the ticket gates. An unexpected sensation assaulted me the moment I stepped out, so much so that I doubted my own senses. Like she had said earlier, I could smell ramen. Amazing - perhaps it really was true then, that he in the urban prefectures could smell sauce, while he in the rural prefectures could smell udon. I’d never been to either, so I couldn’t deny the possibility, but who would have thought that a single dish could permeate the everyday lives of humans to this extent?

Even without looking at the face of the girl standing beside me, I knew that she was definitely snickering at me, so I absolutely refused to look.

“So, where are we going?”

“Hehehehehehehehe, huh?”

How annoying.

“Ah, where are we going? We’re going to meet the God of Studies. But before that, we’re getting lunch.”

Speaking of which, my stomach did feel empty.

“As I thought, it’s gotta be ramen, how about it?”

“No objections.”

Amidst the bustle of the station, I traced her large strides at my own comfortable pace. We were apparently headed for some shop she had read about in the magazine while on the Shinkansen. Her gait showed neither sign of pause nor hesitation. We descended underground, exiting the station into an underground street, and found ourselves standing in front of the ramen store far sooner than expected. As we neared the store, its distinctive scent of broth thickened, and though I wasn’t really put off, there were copies of a page from a famous gourmet manga promoting this shop plastered onto its outer wall. However, it didn’t seem to be a weird shop, so I was relieved.

The ramen was delicious. The food arrived quickly upon our orders, and we quickly began to stuff ourselves. The both of us had chosen to get an extra set of noodles, and when we were asked how hard we wanted our noodles to be, I heard her say “steel beam”; I politely followed suit. To think there was such a classification for the level of hardness - it would be best if no one ever found out about this matter, for it made me red with shame. Incidentally, “harigane” was probably created by boiling the noodles for a shorter duration of time.

Reinvigorated by the hearty meal, we quickly got on our next train. There was no need to rush, since the shrine of the God of Studies she had wanted to meet was about thirty minutes away by train, but as the leader of our expedition had demanded we hurry, I simply followed suit.

While sitting on the train, I remembered a report that I had read somewhere, and I parted my sealed lips.

“It seems like this prefecture is rather unsafe, so it’s best to be careful. Shooting incidents and the like are apparently quite common.”

“Is that so? But isn’t it the same with any prefecture? Haven’t you heard about that murder case in the neighbouring prefecture that happened the other day?”

“I haven’t been watching the news lately though.”

“Someone from the police said it on TV, but it seems like perpetrators of random attacks are the hardest to catch. Like they say, the devil’s children have the devil’s luck!”

“Though that shouldn’t be the main takeaway from this story.”

“That must be why you’re going to continue living and I’m going to die.”

“I’ve only just learnt this now, but proverbs can’t be trusted. I’ll remember that.”

It really did take the train thirty minutes to ferry us to our destination. The sky was so sunny it was getting on my nerves; just by standing around, I was starting to get soaked in sweat. I wondered if I would really be alright without a change of clothes, but it seemed that our next stop would be close to a Uniqlo.

“What great weather!”

With a smile that rivalled the sun, she climbed the slope up to the shrine with light steps. The slope to the precinct was crowded despite it being a weekday afternoon. On both sides of the street, there were stores selling all manners of souvenirs, sundries, food, and even the odd suspicious-looking T-shirt - it truly was a sight to behold. A store selling specialty mochi especially caught my eye, and the sweet fragrance it emanated tickled my nasal cavity.

From time to time, the teetering girl would get pulled into a store, but in the end, we didn’t buy a single thing. Fortunately for us, the store attendants were understanding, and I was able to enjoy just looking at the items in peace.

Having finally reached the end of the slope - now drenched in sweat - we headed straight for the first vending machine in sight. It was frustrating to lose to a vending machine, especially one deliberately installed in such an exquisite location to take advantage of thirsty passers-by, but there was no resisting a life-preserving instinct.

Whipping her sweat-soaked hair from side to side, she was smiling as always.

“Feels like we’re really in the springtime of life!”

“The grass may still be green, but it’s not spring…… It’s hot.”

“Have you ever been in any sports clubs?”

“Nope. You see, I’m of noble birth, so it’s fine even if I don’t move my body.”

“Don’t insult those of noble birth. You should exercise more, you’re sweating as much as I am, and I’m sick.”

“But that doesn’t have anything to do with my lack of exercise.”

Even the people around us had reached the limit of their stamina - many sat shamelessly in the umbrage of nearby trees. It seemed like today was another especially hot day.

Somehow overcoming our dehydration, we slipped away from the other youth, and resumed our journey. We washed our hands, placed them upon the burning hot statue of a cow, crossed a bridge as we watched the turtles float on the water, and at long last, we arrived before the god. As for why we came across a cow on the way, I remembered reading an explanation for it, but the tepid heat had caused me to forget. She, on the other hand, never seemed intent on reading it.

We stood in front of the box that acted as the god’s wallet, and tossed in a small amount of money as an offering. Then we properly made our prayers - bowing twice, clapping twice, and bowing once more.

I had learnt from somewhere that shrine visits weren’t actually the time to make wishes of gods. They were originally meant as an expression of one’s determination before the gods. But right now, I couldn’t muster any sort of determination. Since nothing could be done about it, I thought I’d give the girl beside me some help. Feigning ignorance, I made a wish to the god.

May her pancreas be healed.

Only when I was done did I realise I had prayed for even longer than her. Surely, wishes that we know won’t come true were easier to pray for. Perhaps she had actually wished for something different from me. I didn’t feel the need to ask her. Prayers were something that should be offered in silence, alone.

“I wished to be lively until I died. Get-Along-kun, what about you?”

“……You’re always trampling on my intentions huh.”

“Huh, don’t tell me you wished for me to slowly get weaker? You’re the worst! I was wrong about you!”

“And why would I wish for someone else’s misfortune?”

The truth was that I had wished for the complete opposite of what she had speculated, but I didn’t tell her. Speaking of which, wasn’t this the God of Studies? Well, it was a god, so it probably didn’t bother about the details.

“Hey, let’s go draw our fortunes!”

I furrowed my brow at her suggestion. I had considered fortune slips to have no connection to her fate. Predictions about the future were written on them, but that girl didn’t have a future.

She rushed to the spot where the fortune slips were being sold, confidently deposited a hundred yen into the box, and drew a fortune. It couldn’t be helped, so I followed along.

“The one with the better fortune wins!”

“Just what do you think fortune slips are?”

“Ah, I got a Great Blessing.”

She was grinning from ear to ear. Inside my heart, I was dumbfounded. Just what did the gods think of this girl? With this, it was proven that fortune slips didn’t carry any sort of power at all. Or perhaps, it was actually an act of kindness from the gods to the girl who had already drawn an extraordinarily great curse.

She raised her voice.

"Ahahahahahahahahahahaha! Look, look! It says 'your disease will be healed soon’! There’s no way it’ll be healed!”

“…Just what about this are you enjoying?”

“What’d you get?”

“Blessing.”

“So it’s lesser than a Small Blessing?”

“Though there are also those that say it’s just lesser than a Great Blessing.”

“Whichever way it is, it’s my win, hehe.”

“Just what about this are you enjoying?”

“Wow, yours says that you’ll meet a good match in love, how nice.”

“If you really think it’s great, don’t say it so contemptuously.”

She slanted her slim neck, and brought her face into point-blank range of mine, a smirk plastered across her face. “Even though I would say she was cute if I had to,” I ended up thinking - my greatest blunder yet.

I looked the other way, and I heard her cackling. She didn’t say a word once her laughter stopped.

We left the inner shrine and headed back the way we came from. But instead of crossing the bridge from earlier, we turned left, coming across the treasure house as well as a pool named the Iris Pond. There were plenty of turtles floating about on the water, for which we went to buy food pellets to scatter into the water. Looking at the laid-back movements of the turtles, I got a little distracted from the heat. I broke out of my daze with the quiet realisation that she had begun talking with a little girl. I looked at her smiling face and thought, “As expected of a human who is the opposite of me.” The girl asked, “Big sis, is he your boyfriend?” And she replied, “Nope, we just get along!” Her response confused the young girl.

Once we were done feeding the turtles, we walked the path along the pool and came across an eatery. At her suggestion, we popped in. The store was outfitted with an air-conditioner and we sighed on reflex at the respite it provided. The spacious store had three other groups of customers apart from us. There was a family, a classy elderly couple, and a group of four aunties who were heartily engaged in raucous chatter. We sat down at the table by the window.

Soon, a gentle-looking granny arrived with two cups of water, and took our orders.

“Two umegae-mochi, and I guess I’ll get tea. Are you fine with tea too?”

I nodded, and the granny smiled as she left for the back of the shop.

I drank the cold water, and felt my body temperature steadily decrease. It was a relief to feel the chill spread to my fingertips.

“That confection - you called it umegae-mochi, right?”

“It’s a specialty. It was listed on the magazine.”

“Sorry for the wait!” And before I could assert that we hadn’t waited at all, two red plates of umegae-mochi and two cups of green tea had been placed on our table. Since we had to make payment upfront, the two of us split the bill in half and handed our coins to the store attendant.

I picked up the round white mochi that seemed to be in constant production within the store, and its crispy baked exterior made itself evident. As I bit into it, plenty of sweetness, together with the faintly salty red bean paste, filled my mouth. It tasted delicious, and the green tea paired rather well with it.

“Doesn’t it taste great? Following me was the right decision after all.”

“Just a little.”

“You aren’t honest, huh. At this rate won’t you just go back to being alone once I’m gone?”

It’s not like that would bother me. That was what I thought. To me, the situation now was the true anomaly.

Once she was gone, I would return to my original lifestyle. Without interacting with anyone, I’d shroud myself in the world of novels. I’d return to that kind of everyday. It wasn’t something that was decidedly bad. But, I didn’t think I could make her understand.

Once we were done with our meal, she spread her magazine open on the table.

"What are we going to do next?”

“Oh, you’re really getting into this huh.”

“I decided that I may as well lick the plate clean after seeing a scarecrow on the Shinkansen.”

“Ah, okay, I don’t understand what you just said. But I’ve come up with a list of things I wanted to do before I die.”

That was a good thing. She had probably realised how pointless it was to spend time with me.

“Like going on a journey with a boy, eating tonkotsu ramen at its place of conception, and though we just plunged into this journey, for now, the last goal for the me of today is to have offal hotpot for dinner. If I can fulfil that much for today, I’ll be super happy. Get-Along-kun, do you have anywhere else you want to go?”

“Not really, I’m basically indifferent to tourist attractions, so I don’t really know any places for us to go. I’ve already said it in yesterday’s message, but I’m fine with going anywhere you want to go.”

“Hmm, I see, so what shall we do………… Wah!”

She had let out a dumb sound. The cause was the sound of something breaking coupled with someone’s crude scream that had filled the room. I turned towards the direction of the ruckus and I realised that within that ever-noisy group of aunties, one of them had raised her voice hysterically. Next to them, the granny was bowing her head. It seemed that she had somehow stumbled and toppled over a teacup. The crash of the ceramic teacup shattering against the floor had surprised the girl who was troubled thinking about our next course of action.

I kept a watch on the situation and observed. Even though the granny continued to apologise profusely, the auntie who seemed to have gotten tea spilt on her own clothes got increasingly possessed by hysteria, and appeared no different from a lunatic. Glancing in front of me, I saw that she was also watching as she sipped on her tea.

I had thought that the situation would somehow be resolved peacefully, but my expectations were quickly dashed - the auntie absolutely blew her lid and roughly shoved the granny away. Having been pushed over, the granny staggered and collided with a table, causing it to flip and collapse onto the floor. The soy sauce dispenser and a bunch of disposable chopsticks were also scattered about.

The only one that still remained in the side-lines after witnessing the present state of affairs was me.

“Wait a moment!”

Raising her voice to a level that I had not heard until now, the girl that should have been sharing a table with me stood up, and rushed over to the granny down the aisle.

“I knew it,” I thought. I, who wished to remain a bystander, and she, who wanted to be involved - it was that kind of thing. I could say with conviction that if I reversed myself as a person, that if I were her, I would have stood up too.

The girl helped the granny up, yelling at the ladies she considered her enemies. Of course, her opponents fought back, but this was probably her true worth. Having seen her in action, the other customers in the shop - the father of the family, and the elderly couple - kicked into gear, and supported the girl.

After receiving criticisms from all sides, even the other aunties turned red. The group hastily left the store, muttering complaints all the way out. With the troublemakers gone, the girl checked on the granny, and was praised in return. I was still drinking my tea.

After putting back the table in its original position, the girl returned with an “I’m back”. She still appeared to be mad. I thought that she may have been upset with my lack of action, but that wasn’t it.

“Even though the granny tripped and fell over because that auntie suddenly stretched her foot out. How utterly horrible!”

“Yeah.”

In this world, there exists a notion that the sins of perpetrators and bystanders carried the same weight. In which case, I was no different from those aunties, and so refrained from strongly condemning them.

While looking at the girl who got angry for the sake of justice, and whose days were numbered, I thought that the devil’s children really had the devil’s luck.

“There are plenty of humans that should die before you, huh.”

“I know, right!”

I smiled bitterly at her agreement. Just like I had thought, I’d probably be alone again once she was gone.

When we left the store, she received six umegae-mochi from the granny as a thank-you gift and souvenir. She turned it down at first, but at the granny’s insistence, graciously accepted it. I too got to eat some of that umegae-mochi which had been baked as part of an earlier batch, and I enjoyed the moist and different texture – even this too, was delicious.

“For now, let’s head towards the city, since we need to look for a Uniqlo too.”

“That’s true, I sweated more than I thought I would. I’m really sorry but, I’ll definitely repay you before you die, so could you lend me some money?”

“Huh, I don’t want to.”

“…………You’re a spawn of the devil, huh. Let’s get along in hell.”

“Wahaha, it was a lie, I was just joking, just joking. It’s fine even if you don’t repay me.”

“No way, I’ll repay you everything you’ve paid for up till now too.”

“How stubborn.”

We took the train, and headed back to the station we came from. The inside of the train was quiet. The elderly were dozing off, and the little children were gathered together, holding their war council in whispers. Since the girl was reading her magazine beside me, I gazed blankly outside. The time indicated that evening was approaching, but the summer sky was still bright. It would be great if it just stayed bright forever. Having reached this moment in time, I started thinking about that kind of thing on a whim.

“If only I had made that my wish to the god instead,” I muttered to myself, as she folded her magazine and closed her eyes. She stayed like that, fast asleep until we arrived at our station.

The number of people at the station had increased from the afternoon. In the midst of students and salarymen making their daily commute, we walked leisurely. I thought that the residents of this prefecture walked faster than those living elsewhere. Maybe it was to avoid trouble in an unsafe prefecture.

After consulting with her, we decided to proceed to the single downtown district within the prefecture. We had looked it up on our cellphones, and it seemed that there was also a Uniqlo over there. We searched it up some more, and apparently, in order to get to the first station within the city from the location of the shrine, we should have continued on without exiting the ticket gates. But at any rate, having been abducted, it was impossible for me to have done my research, and she was never a human meticulous enough to care about such things.

We got on the subway, and headed downtown.

　 

The night had fallen completely, and it was now 8 PM. We were seated at a hori-gotatsu, picking at a steaming hotpot. The taste of the specialty hotpot with no other ingredients but offal, cabbage, and garlic chives had left me - who had declared meat superior to innards - speechless. Of course, the girl was as noisy as ever.

“It’s great to be alive!”

“No lies in that statement huh.”

I drank the soup from my own bowl. Thoroughly delicious.

After we had arrived at the city, we visited Uniqlo, and following which, we simply wandered around aimlessly. We entered a glasses shop because she wanted to buy sunglasses, and later visited a bookshop I had spotted. It was fairly enjoyable just looking at the townscape of a land I didn’t know. Later still, we chased pigeons in a park we chanced upon, and sampled the signature confections of the prefecture in a local confectionery. Time passed right by.

As the darkness of night crept in, the prefecture’s residents began lining up at the unusual food stalls along the street. While I was still fixated on the scene before me, we started making our way towards a hotpot establishment that had caught her eye. Since it was a weekday - or perhaps we were just lucky - we were ushered to a table in the crowded restaurant straight away. “It’s all thanks to me,” so she bragged, but she hadn’t even made a reservation or anything like that, so it absolutely wasn’t thanks to her.

For the most part, we didn’t talk about anything of substance during our meal. She heaped praises onto the hotpot from start to finish as I quietly relished the food. I managed to enjoy the hotpot without saying anything pointless. When faced with delicious food, it wouldn’t do to act otherwise.

The next time she opened that pointless mouth of hers was when the store attendant added Chinese noodles to the soup brimming with umami.

“With this, the two of us are hotpot buddies too.”

“Are you trying to make it seem like we’ve been living under the same roof and eating from the same pot?”

“Even more than that. Since I’ve never even eaten hotpot with any of my boyfriends.”

She tittered. The reason her way of laughing was different from usual was because alcohol had entered her system. She had brazenly ordered wine despite her status as a high school girl. The waiter made no second guesses as to the excessively unabashed order, and promptly conferred a glass of white wine. Even though I would’ve been happier had he just contacted the police.

The girl who was in an even better mood than normal wanted to talk about herself even more than usual. It was convenient for me since I preferred to listen to what other humans had to say, as compared to speaking myself.

As for how our conversation went, she started with her last boyfriend who was apparently also my classmate.

“He’s a super great guy. Yeah, really, I received a confession from him, and I thought that since he was a good person and a friend, it’d be fine to go out with him, so it was hard to understand that it wasn’t like that. I mean, I’ve already said it quite frankly, haven’t I? After we started going out, he’d get moody easily, and once we started fighting, he’d stay angry for a super long time. It’d have been fine if we were friends, but I didn’t want to be with him any longer.”

She brought the wine to her mouth. I kept quiet, unable to empathise, and listened to what she had to say.

“Even Kyouko had good things to say about my ex-boyfriend. Since he seemed like a refreshing boy on the surface.”

“Doesn’t seem to have anything to do with me.”

“That’s true, after all, Kyouko does avoid you.”

“Didn’t you think you’d hurt me by saying something like that?”

“Are you hurt?”

“I’m not hurt. I avoid her too, so we’re even.”

“Even though I want you to get along with Kyouko after I die huh.”

With an expression different from how it was up till now, she looked at me straight in the eye. Evidently, it seemed like she was serious about those words. With no way out, I answered, “I’ll think about it.” “Please do,” came her curt reply. Those words were spoken with an earnest conviction. My heart that had already decided that we weren’t going to get along anyway wavered, if just a little.

We left the restaurant once we had satisfied ourselves with the hotpot, and our faces were caressed by the pleasant night wind. Even though there were coolers installed within the restaurant, they were made largely defunct by the many hotpots simmering away inside. She had left after me, since she had been footing the bill. Under the condition that I would definitely repay her for everything she spent on me on this trip, I agreed to leave the bills to her.

“Waaah! Feels great!”

“It’s still cooling at night huh.”

“Right? Okay then, guess it’s about time we head to the hotel.”

I had heard about our place of residence from her earlier in the afternoon. It was a fairly high-grade hotel that was connected to the Shinkansen station we had arrived at, and it seemed to be well-known even within the prefecture. She had actually intended on staying at a simple business hotel, but when she informed her parents about her plans, they proposed that she may as well stay at a better place, and so provided her with a subsidy. Since she had already gone that far, there was no reason not to take advantage of their kindness - it was that kind of thing. Of course, half the money her parents had forked out was meant for Best-Friend-san, but the responsibility for that lay with her, so it wasn’t my business.

Having reached the station, it really wasn’t long till we arrived at the hotel. No, it’s not like I was casting doubt on the official information, what I had meant was that the hotel was even closer than I’d expected.

I had already confirmed it beforehand in the magazine she had brought along, so I wasn’t overwhelmed by the luxury and elegance of the hotel’s interior. If I hadn’t prepared my heart, my jaw would’ve probably hit the ground. And so, I should have been bowing my head down to her. But since even I had a grain of self-respect that wouldn’t allow that, I was really glad to just act surprised on the surface.

Even though I’d avoided getting blown away, I was still becoming predictably restless in this atmosphere that didn’t match my own social standing. I thus let her handle the checking in, while I sat down on the refined lobby’s sofa, and quietly waited for her. The comfort I got from sitting on the sofa felt deep and gentle.

With a look that indicated she was used to this, she boldly headed for the counter, and the hotel staff all bowed their heads down as she approached. I thought without a doubt that she wouldn’t become a decent adult, but then remembered that she simply wouldn’t become an adult.

While drinking tea from a clearly out-of-place PET bottle, I watched from the side as she dealt with the receptionist.

The person handling her check-in was slender, and had his hair combed straight back - a young man that very much gave off the air of a hotel receptionist.

Just as I thought about the trouble the receptionist would have to go through, she started to fill in some form she was presented with. I didn’t listen to the contents of their conversation from this point onwards, but she returned the piece of paper, and with a refined demeanour, the beaming receptionist began keying in the information into his computer. Probably having confirmed the reservation, he turned back to her and began courteously speaking.

She made a surprised expression, and shook her head. The receptionist’s face stiffened in response, as he began to operate the computer once again, all the while still speaking to her. She shook her head again, took her backpack off her shoulders, and handed over a piece of paper that she had retrieved from within.

The receptionist compared the piece of paper to the computer screen, and frowned before momentarily withdrawing further behind the counter. Like her, I waited around doing nothing in particular, until he returned with an older man; the two of them bowed their heads to her profusely and countlessly.

After which, it wasn’t the younger man, but his senior that made a deep, full-bodied bow of apology, and began speaking to her. She made a troubled smile.

I watched the situation unfold from the side, wondering if something had happened. Thinking about it normally, it would have been logical to be under the impression that there had been a mistake on the hotel’s side, and the reservation had been recorded erroneously, but I felt that that alone would not have explained her troubled smile. Whatever the case, I expected the hotel to properly deal with the situation, and so thought little of it. At worst, we could simply wait out the night at some net cafe.

Still smiling in a troubled manner, she kept stealing glances at me, and so for no particular reason at all, I nodded back at her. There wasn’t really any meaning behind that action, but after spotting my response, she said something to the two apologetic men at the counter.

Right away, the faces of the two receptionists brightened up, and though they kept their heads down as always, it seemed like this time, they offered her words of gratitude. The me a few minutes later was going to want to beat up the me that thought it was best their conversation had concluded. Just like I’ve said many times before, I was lacking in my crisis-management skills.

After accepting the key and the like, she returned with her head held low once again. I looked up at her face, and told her, “Seems like you had some trouble huh.” She returned my efforts with her facial expressions. First, she pursed her lips, showing her embarrassment and apprehension, then she peeked at my expression, and finally - as if she was casting them all away - she broke into a broad grin.

“Hey, so it seems like they made a little blunder.”

“Yeah.”

“They’ve filled up all the rooms of the type we originally made reservations for.”

“I see.”

“Yup, so, since it’s their responsibility, it seems like they’ll prepare a much better room for us than the one we had reserved.”

“That’s pretty great huh.”

“Hey…………”

She dangled the single key she carried in her hand beside her face.

“We’ll have to share the room, but it’s fine right?”

“…………Huh?”

There’s wasn’t a single sensible thing I could say in response to her smile.

I was getting sick of explaining things like this, and I think if anyone could read the inside of my heart, this situation’s development would be fairly obvious, but I was overpowered by her, and ended up staying over in the same room.

I’d like if no one thought that I was a weak-willed flirt that easily agreed to stay in the same room as someone of the opposite gender. To put it in one way, there were some financial issues between me and her. Just by exploiting that alone, my insistence that it would be better for me to stay over at a separate location was denied.

That said, who was I even making excuses for?

Yes, excuses. Taking on a firm stance and going in a separate direction from her - that was what I should have done. Even for her, it would probably have been impossible to stop me. However, I willingly didn’t do so. The reason? Well, I’m not sure.

In any case, I ended up sharing the same room with her. Having said that, there wasn’t anything for me to feel guilty about. I could guarantee that for the rest of my life. We were pure.

“Isn’t sleeping together in the same bed exciting?”

Okay, I was the only one who was pure.

“Are you dumb?”

I frowned at the girl who had said something strange after spinning around as though she were dancing under the chandelier that emanated a soft light from the middle of the spacious room. I sat down on a good sofa within the Western-style space, and told her something of the utmost common sense.

“I’ll be over here.”

“Come on, since we’ve gotten a good room, you should at least have a proper taste of the bed!”

“In that case, I’ll lie down on the bed for a little while afterwards.”

“Shouldn’t you be happy to sleep with a girl?”

“Stop with those unwarranted attempts at character assassination. Look, I’m just a gentleman wherever I go. Just save those kinds of things for a boyfriend.”

“Since we’re not in a relationship, wouldn’t it be fun to do things we shouldn’t do?”

After saying that, seemingly having thought of something, she took out the ‘Disease Coexistence Journal’ from her backpack and made a memo. I often saw this behaviour when observing her.

“Wo~w! There’s a jacuzzi!”

While listening to her frolicking about in the bathroom, I opened the glass door, and stepped out onto the veranda. The room we had been shown to was located on the 15th floor of the high-rise, and even though it wasn’t a suite, it was way too luxurious for high school students. The toilet and the bath were even separated, and the night view was spectacular.

“Waaah, it’s wonderful.”

Before I knew it, she was out on the veranda, enjoying the night view. Her long hair swayed in the whispering wind.

“It’s just the two of us gazing into the night - don’t you think it’s romantic?”

I returned into the room without answering. Sitting on the sofa, I picked up the remote on the round table before me, switched on the television that was as big as the room was large, and browsed through the channels. There were many local programmes on air that I usually didn’t get to see, and the entertainers showcasing dialects caught my interest more than the girl’s nonsense.

Abandoning the veranda, she closed the glass door and cut in front of me to sit on the bed. I could imagine from the look on her face when she made a “woah” just how springy the bed was. Alright then, guess it wouldn’t hurt to have just a little taste of its springs.

Just like me, she was watching the large television.

“Dialects are interesting huh. Have ye eaten? It sounds just like some warrior from way back. Even though the town is cutting-edge, its dialect sounds old - how strange.”

For someone like her, she said something rather meaningful.

“Seems like it’d be pretty fun to study dialects as a job.”

“Guess we agree once in a while huh. Even I’m thinking that it’d be fine if I studied that kind of stuff once I enter university.”

“How nice, I wanted to go to university too.”

“……What do you want me to say to that?”

I’d like if she stopped with the non-humorous, sentimentality-cladded stuff. I didn’t even know how I was supposed to feel.

“Don’t you have any trivia about dialects or something?”

“Let’s see, well, when we hear them, they all sound like the same Kansai dialect to us, but there are actually quite a number of variants. How many variants do you think there are?”

“Ten thousand!”

“……That’s just plain impossible. I’m going to get angry if you keep pulling answers out of thin air, you know? There are various views, but some say the actual number may even be close to thirty.”

“Huh, is that so.”

“……I wonder just how many people you’ve hurt up till now.”

Since she was a girl with a wide network of acquaintances, that number was probably immeasurable. Honestly, what a sinful human. On that point, I, who didn’t acquaint myself with anybody, would never hurt anyone. As for which of us is righteous as a person, I think that judgement will be divided.

She silently watched the television for a while, but before long - probably finding it unbearable to remain still - she began rolling around on the wide bed, and after completely messing it up, she loudly exclaimed, “I’m having a bath!” Following which, she entered the bathroom and started filling the tub with hot water. With the sound of gushing water acting as BGM from beyond the bathroom wall, she retrieved various small items from her backpack, and started the water in the washroom that was separate from the bathroom. She was probably removing her make up. Though it’s not like I was interested.

Once the bath was filled with hot water, she disappeared into the bath with delightful glee. “Peeping is a no-no.” Such was the foolish piece of advice I had received, but I didn’t even look at her walking into the bathroom. See, it’s because I was a gentleman.

I could hear her humming a song in the bathroom, something I’d heard before from what was probably a commercial. Wondering just how in the world had I arrived at the present situation in which I was sitting so close to a classmate as she took a hot bath, I thought back and reflected on my own plans and actions. Looking up at the ceiling, the chandelier flickered from the corner of my eye.

When I had reached the part of my memory where I was getting assaulted by her on the Shinkansen, I was called out to.

“Get-along-ku~n, could you get me the facial cleansing cream from my backpack?”

Submitting to her voice that echoed from the bathroom, without feeling anything in particular, I grabbed the sky blue backpack that had been left on the bed and peeked inside.

I hadn’t felt anything.

That was why it was as if my heart had been hit with an earthquake from somewhere when I laid my eyes on its contents.

I looked inside the backpack - coloured just as brightly as her.

And though there should have been no need or reason to be shaken up, my heart was pounding.

Even though I should have known, even though I should have understood. Even though I should have already grasped the premise of her existence, having seen that, I choked.

Calm down……

I told myself so.

Inside her backpack were several syringes, an unprecedented amount of pills, and what seemed to be a measuring apparatus that I didn’t know how to operate.

I somehow managed to hold my ground and stop my thoughts from racing away.

I had known, that this was reality. The truth that she was maintaining her existence with the power of medical science. When I looked at what lay before my eyes, I felt an unspeakable horror befall me. And right at that moment, the face of the fear that entrapped me showed itself.

“Anything wro~ng?”

I turned towards the bathroom, and saw her wet arm flapping about; she, who lacked even the slightest clue about the state of my heart. In order to prevent her from realising the feelings that had been born within me, I hurriedly searched for the tube of facial cleansing cream and handed it over to her.

“Thaaanks! Ah, this is because I’m naked right now!”

Before I could even muster a response, she cracked, “At least say something! This is embarrassing!” Having fulfilled the role of a straight man in her own little routine, she closed the bathroom door.

I approached the bed she had occupied and threw my body onto it. It engulfed me in a springiness that I had come to expect. And the white ceiling seemed to engulf even my consciousness.

I was confused.

But why?

I should have been aware, I should have known, and I should have understood.

But even so, I was still averting my eyes.

Averting my eyes from her reality.

In actuality, just by having seen those items, I was becoming ruled by mistaken feelings. It was as though a monster was gnawing at my heart.

Why?

My unsettled thoughts went spinning round and round, and I fell asleep on the bed, the spinning probably having reached my eyes.

When I had come to, the girl who had washed her hair was shaking my shoulder. The monster had retreated for now.

“So you did want to sleep on the bed.”

“……Like I said, I just wanted to have one taste. This is plenty.”

I stood up and seated myself on the sofa. So as to ensure she wouldn’t notice the wounds the monster left, I stared at the television as expressionlessly as I could. I’d regained my composure, and the fact that I could do that much was reassuring.

The girl was drying her long hair with the dryer provided.

“Get-Along-kun, you should take a bath too, the jacuzzi was great!”

“Guess I should. No peeping alright, since I’m going to peel off my human skin when I enter the bath.”

“You got sunburnt?”

“Yeah, guess that works too.”

With the Uniqlo carrier that contained the clothes I’d bought with money borrowed from her, I headed into the bathroom. Where humidity was heaviest, a sweet scent swirled about, but knowing better, I simply dismissed it as a concoction of my imagination.

Just in case, I properly locked the door before I removed my clothes and rinsed myself under the shower. After I was done washing my head and body, I immersed myself in the bathtub. Just like she said, once I activated the jacuzzi function, I was enveloped by a sense of bliss that couldn’t be put into words. The tracks left by the monster trampling over my heart were slowly washed away. Baths were great. I fully enjoyed the bath of a high-class hotel that I supposed I wouldn’t get a taste of for at least another ten years.

I left the bath and found the chandelier lights switched off, making the room considerably dimmer. The girl was seated on the sofa that should have been my bed, and lying on the round table was a convenience store carrier that hadn’t been there before.

“I bought some snacks and stuff from the convenience store downstairs! Could you get two cups from the shelf over there?”

Just as she had requested, I grabbed hold of the two cups and brought them over to the table. Since the sofa was occupied, I sat on the elegantly designed chair across the table. Just like the sofa, this too had a springiness that could calm a person’s heart.

While I sat comfortably, she lowered the convenience store carrier onto the floor, retrieved from it a bottle, and poured its contents into the two cups. She filled them both to half their capacity with the amber-coloured liquid, and then continued filling them with a colourless carbonated drink from another bottle until they were about to overflow. The two liquids mixed together, creating a mysterious cocktail.

“And this is?”

“Plum liqueur mixed with soda - I wonder if this ratio is alright.”

“I’ve been thinking since the offal hotpot, but you’re only a high school student.”

“I’m not acting cool or anything, I just like alcoholic drinks. You’re not going to drink?”

“…… It can’t be helped, I’ll join you.”

I brought the completely filled cup to my mouth, making sure not to spill any of the plum liqueur. The first sip of alcohol I had drunk in some time had a refreshing aroma, and was unexpectedly sweet.

She enjoyed sipping at her own share of plum liqueur - just like she had proclaimed - while spreading her snacks out on the table one by one.

“Which faction of potato chip flavours are you in? I’m in consommé.”

“Anything other than salt is just anti-establishment.”

“We really do go in different directions huh! I didn’t buy anything but consommé though - serves you right.”

I watched the girl that seemed to be having quite some fun, and sure enough, the liqueur was becoming too sweet. I was pretty much stuffed after the offal hotpot, but the junk food oddly got my appetite working again. While munching on the treacherous consommé potato chips, I sipped on the liqueur.

Once we were both done with our first glass, she poured us a second glass each, and made a proposal.

“Let’s play a game.”

“A game? We’re even going to play shogi?”

“I’m at the level where I can at least understand the rules of shogi, but you look like a strong player to me.”

“Well I do like tsume-shogi, since I can play it alone.”

“How lonesome. I brought poker cards though.”

She walked over to the bed, and brought back a box containing a set of poker cards from inside her backpack.

“I think it’s more lonesome to play with poker cards with just the two of us. For example, what do you even want us to play?”

“Grand Millionaire?”

“It’ll just be revolution after revolution and there won’t be any commoners though.”

She giggled, seemingly in a good mood.

“Hmmm.”

Taking out the poker cards from the plastic box, she looked like she was thinking as her body shook from the shuffling. Without being particularly intrusive, I took the Pocky she had bought and nibbled on one.

Once she shuffled the cards about five times, she stopped. After seemingly nodding to herself in approval countless times for coming up with some idea, her sparkling eyes turned to me.

“Since we’re already drinking, let’s go with the momentum and play Truth or Dare too.”

I knitted my eyebrows, having heard the name of a game I wasn’t used to hearing.

“What kind of game has a name as heavy as that?”

“You don’t know? Then I’ll explain the rules as we play. But first, the most important rule. You absolutely can’t quit the game. Got it?

"In other words, I just can’t push over the shogi board, right? That’s fine, I won’t do that sort of unrefined thing.”

“You really said it huh?”

Her mischievous laughter had an odious tinge. She moved all the snacks on the table to the floor, and skilfully spread the faced down poker cards onto the tabletop to form a circle. I could tell from her expression that she was going to exploit the gap in our experience to beat me, and this in turn fired me up - I was determined to take her down a peg or two. There was no problem, since most games involving poker cards were battles of wit and luck. Experience wouldn’t help much once I understood the rules.

“Incidentally, we’re using poker cards because we just happened to have them, but using rock-papers-scissors would be fine too.”

“……Give me back my fire.”

“I’ve already eaten it. Alright, so the one that flips over the largest card from within this circle will be the winner. And the winner will get the right.”

“The right?”

“The right to ask ‘truth or dare?’ Speaking of which, I guess ten rounds will do. For now, just pick a card.”

As instructed, I flipped a card over. It was the 8 of Spades.

“What if we both pick cards of the same number?”

“It’d be troublesome otherwise, so we’ll just pick another card. I mentioned it earlier too, but since I only made up the rule because it was fitting, this game isn’t really related to poker itself.”

This time she drank her plum liqueur as she turned over a card. It was the 11 of Hearts. I didn’t really understand, but I could tell I was definitely in a disadvantageous situation, so I readied myself.

“Ya~y, so now I have the right. Now I’m going to ask ‘truth or dare?’ And first, you’re going to say ‘truth’. Okay, so, truth or dare?”

“Truth…… Then what?”

“Then for starters, who do you think is the cutest in our class?”

“…………Just what are you asking all of a sudden?”

“This is Truth or Dare, you know? If you can’t answer, then you’ll have to choose dare. And if you choose to have a dare, then I’ll decide what you have to do as the dare. Whether it’s truth or dare, you absolutely can’t avoid choosing one of them.”

“What a devil’s game.”

“I’ve already said it before, but you can’t back out now. Didn’t you agree to it too? You wouldn’t do anything unrefined, right?”

Thinking that making me show my resentment was all part of her plan, I remained expressionless in front of her, who was laughing unpleasantly as she drank her liqueur.

No, it was too early to give up. There should still be a way out somewhere.

“Does such a game really exist? Are you sure you didn’t just make it up on the spot? If that’s the case, then I insist that it invalidates my agreement to not drop out of the game.”

“Too bad, huh. Do you really think I’m the sort of human that doesn’t think their plans through?”

“I do.”

“Muahaha, it’s a fully-fledged game that has even appeared in many movies. I can assure you it’s real since I’ve properly looked it up after seeing it in a movie once. So thanks for going out of your way to reiterate that you wouldn’t quit the game.”

Cackling in a manner that I imagined only the denizens of hell could, there was clearly malice lurking within her eyes.

Somehow, it seemed that I’d once again been caught in a trap. Just how many times did this make it?

“Let’s not violate public order and morals in our truths and dares though - ah, but you’ve never experienced anything erotic before huh, good grief, you’ve got to remember to control yourself alright.”

“Keep quiet, dummy.”

“How mean!”

She finished the liqueur in her cup, and poured herself a third one. Her perpetual half-smile indicated that some of the alcohol had probably already begun circulating in her system. Incidentally, my face had been hot since a while ago.

“So, first of all, my question - who do you think is the cutest in our class?”

“I don’t judge people by their appearances you know.”

“Personality doesn’t really matter, it’s about who you think has the cutest face.”

“…………”

“Incidentally, I’m not going to show any mercy if you chose to do a dare instead.”

I felt nothing but bad vibes from that.

I thought of the best way to avoid damage in this situation. It couldn’t be helped - I chose truth.

“I think that girl is pretty. That girl who’s good at math.”

“Ah!! You mean Hina! She’s one eighth German you know. Hmm, so you like that kind of girl. Even though Hina’s pretty, I don’t think she has a boyfriend or anything, and if I were a boy I’d probably choose Hina too. You’ve got a good eye, huh!”

“Saying I have a good eye only if it matches your opinion, you really have an enormous ego huh.”

I drank more liqueur. I had become a lot more numb to the taste than before.

At her command, I once again chose another card. Nine rounds to go. It looked unlikely that I’d be able to escape halfway, so I hoped for all of the remaining questions to be mine to ask. Alas, it seemed that I wasn’t really lucky in times such as this.

I got the 2 of Hearts, and she got the 6 of Diamonds.

“Woohoo, I guess heaven favours children with kind hearts.”

“I’ve suddenly become unable to believe in any god.”

“Truth or dare?”

“……Truth.”

“If Hina is number one in the class, just by appearance, where do I place?”

“…………Amongst the faces of the humans I can force myself to remember - number three.”

Thinking of infusing myself with the alcohol’s power, I drank more of my liqueur. At the same time, she too brought her cup to her mouth, and drank even more vigorously than me.

“Wo~w, I did ask the question myself, but I’m super embarrassed! I mean who’d have expected Get-Along-kun to answer so honestly - it’s too much.”

“I just want this to end faster. So I’ve resigned myself.”

Probably because of the liqueur, her face had turned red.

“Get-Along-kun, just take it slow, the night is long after all.”

“That’s true. They do say time feels longer if you’re not enjoying yourself.”

“I’m having a lot of fun though.”

So she said, pouring another two cups of plum liqueur. Since there wasn’t any soda left, she filled the cups to the brim with the strong plum liqueur. Even without a taste, I could tell just how sweet it was from the fragrance it emanated.

“I see, so I’m the third cutest huh. Ehehehehe.”

“Never mind that, I’m drawing my card. Alright, the 12 of Diamonds.”

“Do you really not intend on getting fired up for this game? Here I come - waaah, the 2 of Hearts.”

I took a glance at her disappointed-looking face, and I was relieved from the bottom of my heart. The greatest resistance I could muster within the ten rounds of this game was to trump her hand, even just once more. I swore that once these ten rounds were over, I’d never again join her in these incomprehensible activities that she called games.

“Come on, Get-Along-kun, say it.”

“Aaah, truth or dare?”

“Truth!”

“Ermmm, that’s right, hmm.”

I wondered about what I wanted to know about her, and thought of it right away.

Something that I wanted to know about her – there was nothing else but this.

“Okay, I’ve decided.”

“This is starting to get my heart pounding!”

“What kind of child were you?

“…………Erm, is that really okay? I was even prepared to at least reveal my three sizes.”

"Be quiet, dummy.”

“How horrible!”

She leant back and looked upwards, seemingly enjoying herself. Of course, the intention behind my question wasn’t to hear about her fond memories. What I wanted to know was how a human like her came to be. I wanted to know how she - my opposite - grew up, how the surrounding humans impacted her, and how she impacted them.

The reason was simply because I found it mysterious. I wondered just how large the gap between our lives must have been for the establishment of our differing natures. I was interested in whether I could have turned out to be like her with a single misstep.

“How I was as a child huuuh - at any rate, I’ve been told that I was restless.”

“Makes sense huh, I can easily imagine.”

“Right? Since girls were taller in elementary school, I would even get into fights with the largest boy in class. I even wrecked some things, so I was a problematic child.”

Indeed, there may be a link between the size of a person’s body and their character. My body had always been small and weak. Perhaps that was why I became an introverted human.

“Is this much enough?”

“I guess so, then let’s move on.”

Thereafter, it seemed that the gods really did favour good children, and somehow or other I won five straight victories. The proud girl from when the game began had disappeared, leaving the girl that the gods had abandoned together with her pancreas, who drank more liqueur with each loss and had gotten into a bad mood. No, to be accurate, she got displeased every time she heard my questions. With only two sets remaining, her face was bright red and her lips were pursed, and it looked like she was going to slide down the sofa. It was as if she were a child sulking.

Incidentally, below are the five rounds of questions and answers that made her say, “Is this an interview?”

“What’s the interest you’ve had for the longest time?”

“If I had to pick something, I gue~ss I’ve always loved movies.”

“Which famous person do you respect the most and why?”

“Chiune Sugihara! The one that gave the Jews visas. It think it was super cool of him to go through with what he himself thought was right.”

“What do you think are your own strengths and weaknesses?”

“My strength is that I can get along with everyone, and I’m not totally sure about my weakness, but I guess it’s how I’m easily distracted.”

"What’s the happiest moment of your life?”

“Hehe, I guess it’s meeting you. Teehee.”

“Not counting the stuff about your pancreas, what’s the most painful moment of your life?”

“I guess it was when the dog I was always with died when I was in middle school………… Hey, is this an interview?”

I made a splendid face of ignorance if I said so myself, and responded, “Nope, it’s a game.” And with teary eyes, she cried out, “Then ask questions that are more fun!” After which, she proceeded to drink another cup of liqueur.

“Drink up.”

So as to not offend the drunkard that was facing me with a vulgar look, I drank some liqueur too. With that, I had become rather tipsy as well, but I was still better at maintaining a poker face than her.

“Two rounds remaining; I’m going to draw now - the 11 of Spades.”

“Whaaat! Why’s it so stro~ng, gah!

While wholeheartedly moaning in sorrow, frustration and exasperation, she flipped open a card too. I looked at the number she had drawn, and I - who had been convinced that I’d won - had sweat dripping down my back.

The 13 of Spades - it was a king.

"I, I, I, I did it! ……Hmm?”

It seemed that the alcohol had reached the legs of the girl that cheered and stood up at the same time, and so she staggered and toppled back onto the sofa. With an appearance completely different from before, she snickered at the abnormal state of her own body.

“Hey, Get-Along-kun, I apologise, but this time, could you choose after I’ve revealed both the question and the order?”

“So you’ve finally revealed your true colours huh, to say nothing of the questions, you really just want to give orders.”

“Aaah, yeah, yeah, it’s Truth or Dare after all.”

“Well I guess it doesn’t break the rules.”

“A~lright, truth or dare? For truth, tell me three things that you think are cute about me. For dare, carry me to the bed.”

My body started to move on its own, perhaps even before she stopped talking. In this case, if I chose truth, I’d eventually have to move her anyway, so there wasn’t any room for hesitation in choosing the option that let me kill two birds with one stone. Not to mention, the question she asked for truth was much too foul.

Standing up, I was struck by the false impression that my body was lighter than usual. I headed towards the sofa she was sitting on. She cackled, seemingly enjoying herself. It seemed that the alcohol had gone to her head. Thinking of lending her a hand, I stretched my palm out right before her eyes. As I did so, her loud laughter stopped.

“What’s with the hand?”

“I’m lending you a hand, so come on, stand up.”

“Nope, not gonna stand. Since I can’t put any strength into my legs.”

She slowly raised the corners of her lips.

“Haven’t I said it? To CA~RR~Y ME.”

“…………”

“Come on, come on, a piggyback might be good, or maybe even a princ- waaah!”

Before she could finish saying that embarrassing name, I dug my arms beneath her back and knees, and lifted her up. Even the feeble me had enough strength to carry her for a few meters. Hesitating was a no-go - that was what I thought. There was no problem - we were drunk right now, so some shame could be slept off.

Before she could even show any reaction, I threw the girl in my arms onto the bed. The heat slipped away from my arms. She remained frozen, shock still apparent on her face. Out of breath, no thanks to the alcohol and physical exertion, I stared at her as her face slowly and quietly broke into a smile before she started to laugh in a manner reminiscent of the clicking noises that bats made.

“I was surprised! Tha~nks!”

As she said as such, with slow and sluggish actions, she moved to the left side of the large bed, lay on her back, and closed her eyes. I thought that it would’ve been good if she just fell asleep like that, but she giggled as she hit the surface of the bed with both her arms. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like she would forfeit the last game.

I hardened my resolve.

“Well, it’s the last round huh. I’ll specially flip yours open for you. Just say which one it is you want.”

“Okay, guess I’ll go with the one right next to my cup.”

She went quiet, and she casually threw her restless arms onto the bed.

I, still standing, flipped open the card whose corner had been caught under the cup holding a little plum liqueur.

The 7 of Clubs.

“7.”

“Waaah, ambi.”

“Is it alright if I take that to mean that you’re ambivalent?”

“Yup, ambi.”

I ignored the girl that continued to say “ambi~” after probably having taken a fancy to the word, and stared at the circle of cards to choose my last one. In times like this, there may be people that would deliberate over and take great care in their choice, but they were mistaken. Since we were pretty much choosing under the same conditions, there were basically no other factors involved apart from luck. In such cases, one should quickly make their decision without looking back.

Casually, I picked a card from within the circle, and to the best of my ability, I cleared my mind of unnecessary thoughts before flipping it open.

What I needed was luck.

No matter if I decided that this counted as being manly or not, the number wouldn’t change.

The card that I drew was-

“What number is it?”

“…………6.”

In times like this, I - who was honest to the extent that I couldn’t lie - was at a disadvantage. It would probably be easier for me if I was able to become a human that could push over the shogi board, but I didn’t want to become one, and I couldn’t.

“Woohoo, wonder what I should get you to do~.”

After saying so, she became silent. Feeling like a prisoner on death row, I stood still as I awaited her question.

For the first time in a while, silence befell the dim interior. Perhaps as part of the hotel fee, almost no noises from outside could be heard - not even the noise from the neighbouring rooms leaked through. Unpleasantly, due to the fact that I was drunk, I could clearly hear the sounds of my own breathing and heartbeat. I could also hear her regular and deep breaths. I thought that she may have even fallen asleep, but when I looked at her, her eyes were wide open, stare fixated on the dark ceiling.

Having too much time on my hands, I looked outside through the opening between the curtains. The busy streets still shone with man-made lights, exposing no eagerness for sleep.

“Truth or dare?”

The sudden words came from behind me - it seemed like she had finally arrived at a conclusion, and while praying my hardest that it wouldn’t be something that would threaten my heart, I answered with my back still facing her.

“Truth.”

A single breath - I heard the large flow of air, and she uttered the last question of the night.

“If I-”

“……”

“If I said I was really, really afraid of dying, what would you do?”

Without voicing a single world, I turned around.

Her voice was too soft, and it made me think that my heart was about to stop frozen. In order to escape the chills, I had to make sure if she was still alive, and so I turned around.

She might have felt my gaze on her, but even so, the girl continued to stare motionlessly at the ceiling with her lips sealed, disinterested in saying any more.

Perhaps, she was being serious. I couldn’t grasp her true intentions. It wouldn’t be strange even if she was being serious. It wouldn’t be strange even if she was joking. If I took it seriously, I wouldn’t know how to answer. If I took it as a joke, I wouldn’t know how to answer.

I didn’t know.

As if laughing at how feeble my imagination was, once again, the monster in the depths of my heart began to breathe.

The terrified me disregarded my own intentions, and opened his mouth.

“Dare……”

She didn’t say whether my choice was good or bad. She simply remained staring at the ceiling, and gave the following order:

“Sleep on the bed too, no objections or opposition allowed.”

“Ambi~,” she went once again, this time singing it with a melody.

I was frustrated over the course of action I had to take, but as expected, I was unable to push over the shogi board.

I switched off the electricity, and lay down with my back to her, simply waiting for the sandman to whisk me away to sleep. From time to time, the bed that wasn’t mine alone would rock as she tossed and turned in her sleep. It seemed she didn’t have the heart for sharing.

The large-sized bed had enough space even if the two of us were to sleep with our backs flat.

We were innocent.

Innocent, and pure.

I didn’t have to seek forgiveness from anyone.

Both she and I woke up at the same time because of the same reason. A cellphone was beeping noisily. I took out my phone from my bag, but there wasn’t even a single notification - since that meant it had to be hers, I retrieved the phone that was left on the sofa and handed it over to the girl that was sitting on the bed. The sleepy-eyed girl opened the flip phone, and held it next to her ear.

Right away, I, who wasn’t exactly next to her, could hear a roar from the phone’s speaker.

“Sakuraaaaa! Tell me where you are right now!” With a frown, she held the phone away from her ear. Once the caller had calmed down, she pressed it against her ear once again.

“Good morni~ng, what’s up?”

“Don’t ask me what’s up! I’m asking you where you are!”

Looking a little unsure, she informed the caller of the name of the prefecture we had set foot into. I could tell that the caller was appalled.

“Wha- why would you go all the way there, and you even lied to your parents that you were travelling with me!”

With that, I knew that the other person on the line was Best-Friend-san. In response to her friend that was kicking up a fuss, she let out a carefree yawn.

“How did you know?”

“There was stuff about the PTA circulating through the telephone chain this morning! After yours, it’s mine y'know! There was a call from your mom, and I was the one who picked it up - I had such a hard time fooling her.”

“So you fooled her for me, as expected of Kyouko. Thanks so much. How did you do it?”

“I pretended to be my sister, but none of that matters! Why did you go as far as deceiving your parents to go to that sort of place?”

“……Mmm.”

“Besides, if you really wanted to go, you didn’t have to lie or anything, just properly go on the trip. I’d even follow along.”

“Aah, that sounds good, let’s go somewhere over summer vacation. When does Kyouko get a break from club activities?”

“I’ll check the calendar and contact you later ‘kay - as if!”

The brilliant flatter-and-retort reached my ears with volume to spare. Even if someone was speaking at a normal volume over the phone, inside a quiet room, it’s possible to overhear a certain amount of content. I washed my face, and brushed my teeth as I watched her talking over the phone. The toothpaste was even mintier than the one I usually used.

“Basically quietly going somewhere far away by yourself - you aren’t some cat that’s about to die y'know.”

A joke that couldn’t be laughed at - I thought as I listened, and she gave a response that was even harder to laugh at, but was in fact the truth.

“I’m not alone though.”

With bloodshot eyes because of last night’s alcohol, and looking like she was enjoying herself, she directed her line of sight at me. I wanted to bury my face in my hands, but unfortunately, they were both busy holding a toothbrush and a cup.

“You’re, not alone? Huh, with who… Your boyfriend?”

“No way, you already know that I’ve broken up with him!”

“Then who is it?”

“Get-Along-kun.”

I could hear the speechlessness from the other side of the phone speaker. With no more concern as to how this would turn out, I continued to brush my teeth.

“Y'know, you-”

“Just listen to what I have to say, Kyouko.”

“…………”

“You may think it’s strange, and you may not understand why, but I’ll definitely explain all of it to you someday. That’s why even if you aren’t quite convinced, please just let this go. And so, I hope you’ll keep this matter to yourself for now.”

“…………”

It seemed like her tone had become serious, and before I knew it, she had put Best-Friend-san at a loss for words. I thought that that was only natural. After all, the girl did leave her best friend behind to go on a trip with some unfamiliar classmate.

Best-Friend-san kept mum for a while on the other side of the phone. The girl patiently pressed the phone against her ear. Finally, a voice could be heard from the electronic device.

“…………Got it.”

“Thanks, Kyouko.”

“I have a few conditions.”

“Anything you wish.”

“Come back safely, and buy me a souvenir. Also, go on a trip with me during summer vacation. Lastly, tell this to Classmate-That-Has-An-Incomprehensible-Relationship-With-My-Best-Friend - if he does anything to Sakura, I’ll kill him.”

“Wahaha, I got it.”

After exchanging a few pleasantries, the girl hung up. I rinsed my mouth and sat on the sofa that had been stolen by her yesterday. While clearing up the poker cards that were scattered all over the table, I took a look at her and saw that she was stroking her long hair that was still messy from waking up.

“It’s nice to have a best friend that thinks of their friends, huh.”

“I know ri~ght, ah, you might have heard already, but it seems like Kyouko’s going to kill you.”

“Only if I do anything strange, right? So besides saying I was innocent, please explain things properly.”

“What about the princess carry?”

“Ooh, so it had that kind of name - with everything done and over with, I felt like I was part of some moving company.”

“Guess you’re getting killed by Kyouko no matter what she hears.”

Once she was done showering to fix her bed hair, we headed down to the first floor of the hotel to get breakfast.

Breakfast was provided in the form of a grand buffet, and as expected, it really brought to mind the class of the hotel. I mainly chose to put food like fish and tofu on my plate, and made a Japanese-style set meal breakfast. Having taken a seat by the window, I was waiting for her when she arrived with a ridiculous amount of food on her tray. “I need to eat lots in the morning,” so she said, but in the end, she left a third of the food untouched, and I had to eat that. While we were eating, I earnestly preached to her about the joys of planning.

After returning to our room, I boiled some water and brewed some coffee; she fixed herself some black tea. We took a breather and watched the morning programmes, taking up the same positions as last night. Within the serene space that dazzling sunrays streamed into, it was as if the both of us had forgotten the last question from yesterday.

“What’s the plan for today?”

When I asked, she energetically stood up, walked over to her sky blue bag, and took out a notebook. It seemed she had sandwiched the Shinkansen tickets inside it.

“We’re taking the Shinkansen at two-thirty, so we’ll have time to eat lunch and buy souvenirs. Shall we go somewhere before that?”

“I don’t know this area so I’ll just leave it to you.”

After we leisurely checked ourselves out and bowed our heads to the employees, in compliance with her decision, we took a bus and headed for a shopping mall that was apparently famous. A commercial complex that was built to have a river run through it, it had everything from shops selling daily necessities to a theatre, and it seemed there were many foreign tourists that were visiting it as a sightseeing spot. Taking a look for myself when we arrived, the gigantic red facility had unrivalled impact, exuding the atmosphere of a true landmark.

We were lost as to where to go in the building that was made to be complicatedly magnificent, but when we wandered around, there just so happened to be a clown having a street performance at the wide space next to the water’s edge, and we mixed in with the other spectators.

The approximately twenty minute long performance was entertaining, and at the humorous beckoning of the clown after the show, I put a hundred yen into his hat, as typical of a high schooler. Seemingly having enjoyed herself, she put in five hundred yen.

“Wasn’t that fun? Get-Along-kun should go become a street performer too.”

“Please check who it is you’re talking to. Doing a job where I have to engage others is impossible for me. That’s why I think that person is amazing.”

“I see, that’s too bad. Maybe I should give it a go. Ah, I forgot, I’m going to die soon.”

“Did you bring up this topic just so you could say that? You do have a year after all, even if reaching their level is impossible, you’d still get pretty good if you practiced.”

At my suggestion, she smiled resplendently. It was a smile that looked contagious.

“Yeah! That’s true! Maybe I should try it out!”

Thrilled at her prospects for the future, she bought a few items to practice with from a magic goods specialty store within the facility. Throughout her purchase, I didn’t get to enter the store. Since she would be performing for me too someday, there’d have been no meaning were I to help her choose - that was the reason why. It couldn’t be helped, so I watched the commercial for magic goods playing at the storefront together with some elementary schoolers.

“Aah, maybe with this, I’ll emerge like a comet, and have my name passed down to future generations as the legendary magician that suddenly disappeared.”

“If you were unbelievably talented, then perhaps.”

“One year of my life is worth five years of other people, so it’ll definitely work out. Look forward to it.”

“Wasn’t the value of a person’s single day unchanging?”

Looking like she was really serious about this, her expression was brimming with greater verve than usual. What made humans shine was the ability to achieve their goals despite their lack of time. Standing next to me, she probably shone much more prominently.

As I walked around the facility with the shining girl, time passed right by. She bought a few articles of clothing. She kept coming to me with cute-looking T-shirts and skirts in hand, and asking me to appraise each and every one of them, but since I didn’t really understand what counted as good or bad in girls’ fashion, I chose to say they suited her - words that contained neither praise nor criticism. Unexpectedly, those words had put her in a good mood, so I was glad. And since I didn’t lie about the clothes suiting her, my heart didn’t feel a twinge of guilt.

We dropped by a shop selling Ultraman goods on the way, and she bought me a soft vinyl figure of a monster that looked like a skeletal dinosaur as a present, but I didn’t understand the meaning behind her choice. When I asked her, she said that it suited me. It didn’t put me in a good mood. In return, I bought her a soft vinyl figure of Ultraman. When I said it suited her, she was put in a good mood like always.

We put the hundred yen soft vinyl figures on our fingers, and after eating some soft serve ice cream, we started to head back to the station. It was just about noon when we reached the station, and we - who had only eaten soft serve ice cream - went to look at souvenirs before getting lunch. Within the compound of the station, there was a large space that sold only souvenirs, and it caught her eye.

While tasting various food items, she bought snacks and specialty fish roe for her family, as well as some snacks for her best friend. I also bought some snacks for myself that had been awarded the gold award by Monde Selection consecutively for years. Since I had only told my family that I was staying over at a friend’s house, I couldn’t bring any souvenirs home. It was a real shame, but this time it couldn’t be helped.

We ate ramen at a different ramen shop from yesterday, and since we had time to spare, we had tea at a cafe before boarding the Shinkansen. I started to get sentimental over the end of the trip.

Even more so than the me of the past who had been taken along by her, I had become somewhat forward-looking.

“Let’s go on another trip - I guess next would be winter.”

The girl that was gazing at the scenery from her window seat said as such. I was a little lost as to how to respond, but in the end, I answered truthfully.

“Yeah, that may be nice too.”

“Ooh, awfully honest of you. So, did you have fun?”

“Yeah, I had fun.”

I had fun. That was how I really felt. I grew up in a laissez-faire household where both my parents were busy, and of course I didn’t have any friends to go on trips with, so I enjoyed myself much more than I’d thought I would.

She made a surprised face for some reason, and after looking at me, she quickly returned to her usual smile and forcefully grabbed onto my arm. Not knowing what to do, I was frightened. Perhaps realising how I felt, she gave a look of embarrassment, then retracted her hand and whispered, “Sorry.”

“What, were you trying to take my pancreas by force?”

“No, it’s just that it’s rare of you to be so honest, so I got carried away. Yeah, I had loads of fun too. Thanks so much, for coming along. I wonder where we should go next. I guess heading north would be nice. I wanna completely relish the cold.”

“Why do you have to treat your body badly? I hate the cold, so I want to escape even further south than this.”

“Waaah, we really do go in different directions!”

Still looking at the girl who had puffed her cheeks out in mock annoyance, I broke the seal of the souvenir I had bought for myself. Having given her a share of the snacks, I bit into the steam bun-type snack myself. The taste of the butter was almost too sweet.

By the time we arrived at the town we lived in, the summer sky had slowly begun to adopt an ultramarine hue. We took a train to our usual station, and rode our bicycles to somewhere near our school before parting ways at the usual place. Since we would meet on Monday anyway, both the girl and I quickly made our farewells and headed down our respective roads home.

When I got home, neither my mother nor my father had returned yet. After properly washing my hands and rinsing my mouth, I stayed in my room. When I lay down on my bed, I was overcome with a sudden wave of sleepiness. While wondering if I was physically tired, sleep-deprived, or perhaps even both, I fell asleep.

I was woken up by my mother when it was time for dinner, and I ate fried noodles while watching television. While most would say that everything up till reaching home could be called a journey, I learnt that in a way, the journey really only ends when I have my usual home-cooked food. I had returned to my everyday life.

For the remainder of the weekend, there was no contact from her at all. Just like always, I stayed in my room reading books, only leaving for a supermarket alone in the afternoon to buy some ice cream. Having spent whatever was left of the two days unremarkably, it was already Sunday night when I had a realisation.

I had been waiting for her to contact me.

When I went to school on Monday, the fact that I had went travelling together with her had spread throughout the class.

I wasn’t sure whether it was related to that, but I discovered my indoor shoes inside a trash can.

Whatever the case, it didn’t seem like I had accidentally dropped the ball.

(Previous chapter) (Next chapter)

[click2watch]

SeedCX Exchange Is Barring Employees from Crypto Trading

Having traded cryptocurrency with his own money since 2014, software engineer Alex Wachli made a difficult choice when he joined the institutional crypto startup Seed CX.

He had to give up trading.

Seed CX forbids cryptocurrency trading by its roughly 40 employees. So Walchli effectively locked up his crypto holdings by handing the compliance team a list of all his wallet addresses, so they could monitor them and confirm his holdings stayed put.

The engineer says he understands how personal investments could create a conflict of interest with regards to the customers he serves and the way his team evaluates support for various assets.

“I think everybody here is not here to try and pick and choose winners, and to let the market to decide,” Walchli told CoinDesk. “If we didn’t have these policies we might be biased and we might not be focusing on the right goals.”

Seed CX’s policy, quietly put into place last year, appears to be one of the industry’s strictest. Few exchange startups have employee trading policies comparable to those found in traditional capital markets, in part because crypto is still considered by some to be a Wild West industry without clear regulatory requirements.

“We don’t necessarily know what ‘material, non-public information’ [MNPI] means in a crypto context,” Justin Steffen, a litigation partner at Jenner & Block LLP, told CoinDesk, referring to the legal term for information that would give insiders an edge over the investing public. “That will be worked out by courts.”

In the securities markets, for example, an executive who trades stock knowing that the company is about to announce a merger or recall a defective product might be a straightforward case of illegal insider trading. But in crypto, where the assets are created with open-source software and network activity is visible to all on a blockchain, different types of news move the markets.

And sometimes the people working at crypto exchanges are privy to such information – including trading trends, technical issues related to liquidity, and decisions to list certain assets – before anyone else.

In traditional finance, “it’s rare for exchanges to have this much power to change the price of a token or asset that they list,” said Edward Woodford, co-founder of Seed CX, which has raised $25 million of venture capital and is courting instititonal investors as clients.

As such, Woodford said his company’s no-trading policy aims to foster trust among institutions that are used to established corporate norms beyond MNPI contracts, which state employees may not trade based on internal information that could move the broader market.

Speaking of rumors that some crypto exchanges trade against their customers or allow front-running, where employees make personal trades based on information general customers don’t have yet, Woodford told CoinDesk:

“We wanted to avoid any risk that these [frontrunning] allegations could be levied against us.”

Lay of the land

To put Seed CX’s employee trading ban in perspective, CoinDesk reached out to several other prominent crypto trading platforms about their policies.

A spokesperson for Binance, currently the world’s second-largest exchange by trading volume according to CoinMarketCap, said the Singapore-based company has “a strict policy in place banning insider trading, similar to that of investment banks,” but would not share further details.

In Silicon Valley, industry unicorn Coinbase’s chief legal officer Brian Brooks told CoinDesk his company’s current policy requires a small group of employees with decision-making power to self-report their holdings.

“For rank-and-file employees there is no reporting requirement. There is an MNPI prohibition,” Brooks said, referring to a contract employees must sign. “And you may be subject to certain blackout windows depending on whether we are about to list an asset and other kinds of things.”

Employees are also routinely recused from participating in decisions based on their personal holdings, he said.

A Coinbase spokesperson said this policy has been in place for “several years,” but would not be more specific. The company is fighting an ongoing class-action lawsuit alleging employees engaged in insider trading when the bitcoin network forked in 2017 to create the alternative currency bitcoin cash. Among other claims, the plaintiffs allege that insiders traded bitcoin cash at inflated prices while trading was closed for retail customers.

Coinbase isn’t the sole crypto platform with MNPI contracts. Wall Street veteran and AirSwap co-founder Michael Oved told CoinDesk that, in addition to MNPI restrictions, all employees require written approval from the legal team for trades over a certain amount, a value which Oved declined to specify.

Speaking to this point about clearing trades with an internal legal team, Steffen said MNPI policies may be insufficient without supervision. He added:

“Traditional financial institutions are actively making you report trades, transactions, and issues that may constitute insider trading. That is the norm. That is the standard. When I say ‘every trade you make and every real estate transaction you do has to go through compliance,’ that’s what I mean by supervision.”

Winds of change

Some legal experts believe courts and regulators will encourage exchanges to follow even stricter compliance standards, beyond self-reporting, in the near future.

Attorney Jeremy Deutsch, a partner at the Washington, D.C.-based law firm Anderson Kill, agreed with Steffen that the standard norm among banks and capital market exchanges is for legal experts to monitor or restrict all employee trading, and communications such as emails, and external business transactions like purchasing property.

Even beyond securities markets, Deutsch said professional fiat currency and commodities traders also have numerous restrictions related to their personal assets, adding that he sees no reason why the same should not hold true for crypto:

“What would the justification be to not apply the full scope of compliance obligations to those who are entrusted with early information on the market direction, or potentially the ability to move the markets themselves with their trading, just due to their privileged position?”

Looking forward to 2019, Deutsch said courts and regulators may specify that lower-ranking employees at exchange companies who deal with “the flow of information or orders” also require monitoring, and approvals for most significant financial activities, from the compliance department.

“Otherwise, you’re going to see a tremendous amount of private litigation,” Deutsch said.

Steffen agreed. Crypto markets, he said, involve “very fact-intensive situations” that require legal expertise because “there’s not uniformity among everyone about what is material, nonpublic information or a security.”

That’s why Woodford of Seed CX believes a no-trading policy benefits his employees as much as exchange users.

“An employee may not deem something material whereas we as a company would deem it as material,” Woodford said, concluding:

“It’s also about protecting [employees] as well.”

Edward Woodford image via SeedCX

!function(f,b,e,v,n,t,s){if(f.fbq)return;n=f.fbq=function(){n.callMethod? n.callMethod.apply(n,arguments):n.queue.push(arguments)};if(!f._fbq)f._fbq=n; n.push=n;n.loaded=!0;n.version='2.0';n.queue=[];t=b.createElement(e);t.async=!0; t.src=v;s=b.getElementsByTagName(e)[0];s.parentNode.insertBefore(t,s)}(window, document,'script','//connect.facebook.net/en_US/fbevents.js'); fbq('init', '239547076708948'); fbq('track', "PageView"); This news post is collected from CoinDesk

Recommended Read

Editor choice

BinBot Pro – Safest & Highly Recommended Binary Options Auto Trading Robot

Do you live in a country like USA or Canada where using automated trading systems is a problem? If you do then now we ...

9.5

Demo & Pro Version Try It Now

Read full review

The post SeedCX Exchange Is Barring Employees from Crypto Trading appeared first on Click 2 Watch.

More Details Here → https://click2.watch/seedcx-exchange-is-barring-employees-from-crypto-trading

[alynna-menagerie]

Well, umm, I don’t even know what to say about that, except that such a view runs contrary to my life experiences.  I don’t usually block people but when it went to “mutilate your body” to describe the transition process, it has just crossed my tolerance point, so goodbye.

I’d like to talk about pronouns.

Since they come up so often recently, particularly in regards to policy on my discord server.

I think first it should be stated what the function of pronouns are.   They are not necessarily for identifying the gender of the person you are talking to, but providing context in a conversation as to who is being referred to in a conversation.

I understand that because of that, there is, and should be a great deal of sensitivity as to what pronouns you use for someone, not just for the sake of acknowledging their gender, but because they are also identifying themselves as their given gender and it no longer becomes clear if you are even talking to them or about them if you use the wrong gender.

I sometimes misgender people but when I do I feel a great deal of shame about it, and try hard to correct myself.  Even if the person is being abusive to me I still feel that shame, and it is never intentional.   I do apologize and will continue to apologize to anyone that I have misgendered. 

This being said, I feel I need to clarify the second paragraph again, that pronouns are primarily for specifying the target person in a sentence.  The reason I am stressing this is because of the ever growing number of pronouns being “created” that do not serve the purpose of pronouns.

I will say straight up, that the issue of pronoun usage and gender assignment through the use of them, would be far better resolved if, instead of creating mounds of pronouns that noone knows the meaning of, and therefore never actually serves its linguistic purpose of assigning a sentence to an individual target.. to simply eliminating pronouns altogether and calling everyone by their given names.   This might seem difficult linguistically, but it can’t be any more difficult than having to form a lookup table for everyone you interact with just so you get their pronouns right.

The way pronouns are being created for use now, makes them useless for their purpose.   When you create your own pronouns, the linguistic shortcut it is supposed to represent becomes broken.   I think that if we as a society have decided that this linguistic shortcut no longer serves us because it is no longer specific enough or can be gotten wrong and offend someone, then we should move to eliminate it, eliminate pronouns entirely.

Noone needs a pronoun that refers specifically to themselves, that is what names are for.

I understand the need for alternative pronouns at this point in time in society, but as a society, we should create them, define them, even define multiple to represent different points in the non-binary spectrum, then publish them so that everyone knows what the mean and they can be properly used.  But lets not have everyone create their own set of pronouns.   Pronouns need to have a meaning to have a purpose.   If we are going to make pronouns meaningless, then once again, we should eliminate them, we can always go that route instead.

Given all of these points, I should note that I believe that the creation of pronouns that refer to ones kin-self, or ones sexual preference, or these new emoji pronouns, these are improper and patently absurd use of pronouns.   

How do you even pronounce an emoji pronoun?  Do you pronounce it by the Unicode name for it, its codepoint, or its short name?  Does everyone interpret it differently because its a picture, and then there is offense taken if the interpretation is wrong?

A kin type, a race, a species, a sexual preference, all these things being made into pronouns, make pronouns not work for their intended purpose.   At the same time, I see that in a non-binary spectrum of gender, its clear we need more than he/she/they.   I believe that we should have more pronouns for different points on the gender spectrum but we do not need them to become some new form of additional identifier for a person or class of person, we actually have other forms of that.

This is why on my Discord server we have some restrictions on pronoun assignment.  I do of course allow people to publish their alternative gender pronouns, but not the following types, because:

Your kin type, is not a gender.   It is a kin type.  If you have swallowed the Tumblr narrative that this is the otherkin way, then you have been educated stupid.  Separate rant already once posted in this blog:  Otherkin does not come from Tumblr.

Your sexual preference is not a gender.  Do you really want to be referred to in casual conversation by the type of person you prefer to be with?

Your race is not a gender and it’s probably offensive to other members of the race being used there, to hear it used like that.

Emojis are not genders. (Honestly this is the newest stupidity I have found out there and the motivator for this post).

Turning things that are nouns or proper nouns, into pronouns by adding suffixes, is a Tumblr disease and if you are doing this, please understand that on Tumblr you might look progressive for doing this but the moment you start interacting with the real world people are going to find it, and you, to be educated stupid.

TL;DR: We either need defined, meaningful pronouns or we need to eliminate pronouns.   Pronouns that are too specific, refers to things that are already nouns, or are damn emoji?  Are dumb.

[martechadvisor-blog]

Meet Your Customers Where They Already Are with SMS Chatbots

Greg Cohn, Co-Founder and CEO, Burner says that brands are under a lot of pressure to create consumer-facing chatbots for Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp and their own apps. But are messaging apps really the best place to provide customer service? Or is the best medium one that your customers already use daily - SMS messaging?

Since messaging apps overtook social networking apps in popularity last year, there’s been a lot of bandwagon-jumping pressure for businesses to quickly deploy customer-facing chatbots into Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp, and other messaging networks. While I find these use cases interesting, I’ve been skeptical of this trend since it began last year. Are messaging apps really the best place to provide customer service? And are chatbots—even sophisticated ones—the right way to respond to the growing demand for text-based customer support?

Before your business hops on the messaging train, take a step back and survey the landscape. Instead of trying to utilize all the messaging apps you think your customers might be using in the future, or trying to “go where the millennials are,” why not consider a reliable, stable technology that also has the virtue of being a medium your users already use and love, and where there’s a proven response rate and demand?

The future of chatbots for businesses is not in messaging apps, but in SMS.

SMS is preferred by many for text-based support.

It’s true that messaging apps have overtaken social media, but that doesn’t mean that’s the best place for customer service from your business. These metrics prove only the apps’ popularity, not their utility or their ability to serve your customers’ needs best.

Imagine for a second: Where would you go first when you have a problem with a business? Let’s say you need to make a change to your airline flight itinerary, or return a faulty product that you ordered online. Are you going to open Facebook Messenger? How would you even initiate that conversation?

Unless the business already initiated the conversation via your preferred messaging app, there’s no obvious place to start. How would the business know which is your preferred messaging app, anyways? There are so many choices now, just like social media, and none of them is right for everyone. What if the business went all-in on WhatsApp, and you only use Messenger? Before you’ve ever contacted the company for customer support, you’re annoyed.

As a business, you can remove the question of which messaging app to support by building your text-based support channels via SMS instead. Everyone who has a smartphone with one of the messaging apps also has a phone number and a built-in texting app. Even people who don’t have smartphones (though they may be increasingly fewer in certain Western countries) can get a great customer support experience through a text message thread. Instead of worrying about where your customers might be, rely on SMS to find them where they already are.

SMS response rates beat out other forms of text-based communication

Most people have email too, you might argue, so why not use email? Isn’t that a proven channel of customer communication? While that’s true, according to the Pew Research Center, short-term response rates for text messages are consistently higher than email. Text messages for marketing have a 98% open rate, while email open rates only average about 20%. On average, text messages are read within 5 seconds. Additionally, 97% of smartphone users use text messaging regularly, making it the most widely-used smartphone feature.

As a result, 79% of companies believe their customers want SMS support. If you want high response rates from happy customers, these statistics prove that text-messaging is the way to go.

Best practices for SMS chatbots for customer communication

SMS isn’t going anywhere, despite what the CEOs of messaging companies might prefer you believe. When it comes to customer service, consider deploying an SMS chatbot over a messaging app one, to better serve your customer’s needs. If you’ve decided the time is right for your company to deploy an SMS chatbot, consider these best practices first, to ensure you’re providing maximum value for your users:

Find ways to make it clear what the boundaries of the bot’s capabilities are, and to communicate to the user what it can and (implicitly, at least) can’t do.

Fail gracefully by always implementing friendly, useful denials and error messages, like “I’m sorry, I’m not understanding the question—I’ll connect you to my human colleague.” Those outs will help you avoid creating the text communication equivalent of road rage.

If a human is expected, don’t make it impossible to get to a human on the line (like many voice-based customer service lines currently do).

In fact, if you’re a smaller business, or already have a customer service staff, consider slipping the bot altogether, and making SMS a channel to reach real people.

Conversely, if a bot can answer a question and dealing with a person is unnecessary, don’t make the customer talk to a person to get an answer.

Don’t be gimmicky—or people won’t engage with you for very long.

What makes a bot really great? According to Robert Hoffer, who worked on one of the first successful chatbots on the internet, “most designers agree bots need to have something resembling a human personality.” Even though his creation, AOL Instant Messenger’s SmarterChild, wasn’t all that sophisticated, it had a stickiness that we don’t often see in modern bots. At its peak, SmarterChild chatted with 250,000 people a day.

If you’re looking for inspiration, here are some modern bots that provide real value:

Reply Yes provides an ecommerce service over mobile messaging. The customer enters their phone number, and then the service texts them product images and descriptions. The customer can respond LIKE, DISLIKE, or OWN to personalize future picks. Or, as the name implies, reply YES to purchase the product.

Digit helps people save money with small bank transfers and intelligent analysis of their bank account balances and transactions. While it has apps for iOS and Android, its SMS interface is comprehensive and users do not need to download the app to get the most out of it.

Capital One has its own bot for banking customers called Eno. Customers can use it to easily find out more about their money.

StaffJoy notifies your team about scheduling updates, ensuring that changes to a complex schedule never get missed. This can be used to make support teams, warehouses, delivery companies, or restaurants more effective.

If your company is interested in leveraging an existing Natural Language Processing or AI platform to build a bot, Agent.ai and DeepPIXEL both provide artificial intelligence, including natural language processing (NLP), to enhance and empower customer service and sales teams. A third option, Conversable, “powers the intersection of AI with messaging and voice.”

Finally, for a fun example, Botline Bling lets anyone simulate a texting relationship with the artist Drake.

More good news: SMS continues to evolve. Take the emergence of the RCS (“Rich Communications Service”) standard, an initiative supported by an increasing number of carriers around the world.  While large carriers are still converging around how the marketplace will work, RCS (sometimes called “Advanced Messaging”) enables rich user interactions, dynamic elements, and analytics, right in the messaging inbox. This means that bots built on SMS will soon have a rich interface as the standard, which will empower better, more consistent communication across devices—without requiring users to download an app or friend anyone. Keep an eye on news about RCS, as it’s something you’ll likely be hearing about in the coming quarters.

When it comes to chatbots, what not to touch with a ten-foot stick

Finally, there’s a long list of “Don’ts” for chatbots. Here’s a short list of things you should absolutely not do with SMS chatbots:

Don’t send soulless spam or overuse SMS messages (for instance, to convey information the user already saw on the web or in your app)

Don’t ignore customers with legitimate problems or use a “we’ll get right back to you” autoresponder, afterwhich no one ever follows up

Don’t deploy chatbots who say the same thing over and over again, or have no personality

Don’t auto-message customers with pushy or invasive sales pitches

Don’t use bots as a substitute for real people when a personal touch is needed

Don’t create a chatbot simply because you think its personality is entertaining. Customers don’t want entertainment—they want help!

(It goes without saying that you should practice good hygiene with basics like user opt-in and compliance with the Telephone Consumer Protection Act and other applicable regulations)

Sadly, many first-generation chatbots are simply identical copies of existing Interactive Voice Response (IVR)—phone customer service—experiences. As Chris Messina, product guy and bot expert, pointed out in a recent Q&A, “To stop there ignores the potential for these platforms, as well as what advances in AI and machine learning may offer in the way that they adapt, respond, synthesize, and respond to inbound user queries.” Instead, imagine a scenario where those dense and annoying call trees are removed altogether. Those kind of chatbots, in the words of Messina, “allow a user to express herself in her words (to specify an intent) to have the system respond with a relevant and contextual response, avoiding the multi-layer decision tree workflow altogether.” Imagine how much happier your customers will be when this becomes not just a reality, but the norm.

The bottom line is: don’t use a chatbot because it’s new and shiny. Only add one into your communication workflow if it genuinely improves the customer experience. And don’t be distracted by the popularity of new messaging apps. Instead, meet your customers where they already are with text-based communication through SMS—and, when appropriate, with chatbots in that high-touch channel. Your customers will thank you.

This article was first appeared on MarTech Advisor