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kannra21 · 3 years

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Not Weak

Geten found herself in a tricky situation and she doesn't want Re-Destro to find out. How can a certain fire-user help her by making things even more complicated?

characters: dabi (todoroki touya) x f!geten

word count: 3.2k

warnings: angst, past memories, scars, abuse mention, foul language, comfort, making out

notes: I'd like to thank @seenalready13 for proofreading this work since I can be v clumsy with grammar haha. I'm v grateful for the help! And also, the picture above belongs to 九わん (@91qwn), here's the link to the artwork. Please support their work!

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Geten, as the keystone of the entire army, had the task of leading her group and ensuring that anyone within their ranks followed her instructions. The loyalty of their people was unquestionable as everyone adhered to Destro's teachings, and she was immensely proud of her Cryokinesis.

The ice-user was grateful to their grand commander for granting her this amazing opportunity of making up for all the great things that he's done for her. She wore an honorable title, and her reputation has risen a lot since the hooning of her meta ability for years. However, she did experience all sorts of things their organization had to offer from the moment Re-Destro promoted her to his right-hand woman, believing that she'd be strong enough to take on the responsibility and he was right. It wasn't like she was bothered too much, especially since dealing with a couple of thugs on her own was no big deal for her. Still, this didn't mean that after performing their duties the soldiers couldn't relax and show their true colors.

This was the case with one guy in particular, who was casually hitting on her and calling her pet names which were utterly gross and humiliating. She had the utmost need to wipe the fucker out of the face of the Earth, but she also knew damn well that Re-Destro would disapprove of such actions considering that the army must avoid inner conflicts at all costs. Of course, she wanted to take matters into her own hands, to prove to the commander that she was deserving of her title, but the jerk simply wouldn't take her seriously as she wanted to be through with whatever problem she had without necessarily dragging Re-Destro into it. That's why she decided to take the easier route and use someone to her own advantage.

"What's in there for me?" Dabi asked, uninterested as he fixed the staples on his burnt skin.

It's true that they were partnered up to share their leading spot at the Vanguard Action Guerilla Warfare Regiment: Violet, but this didn't mean that they had to play nice with each other. Especially after Geten's offensive speech of power and people's place in this world.

She clenched her fists in her pockets; of course, she should've known that he'd ask for something in return. "I don't have much to offer,” she said through greeted teeth.

She looked almost pitiful if it weren't for her leading position; she felt stupid to even ask for help when she could've just ended the whole mess with one swift motion of her ice, and bam, the fool's dead. Well, if things could be that easy.

"I... I'M THE TOP LIEUTENANT AND THEREFORE I DEMAND OBEDIENCE! LIKE I NEED TO CONFIDE IN YOU, BURNT CHICKEN NUGGET SCUM!"

"THE FUCK-" Dabi stood up, fire flaring up in his hand and ready to strike as he saw Geten backing off with ice covering her right arm, bracing herself for the upcoming attack.

And then he saw it, at this very moment, the look of hesitation and unease covering her blue eyes. She... didn't want to fight? Was she defending herself? It reminded Dabi of something else from his past, or rather someone, defending themselves from his flames, wearing the exact same expression on their face while protecting his youngest brother. The dripping water from her ice washed over his memories as he obtained one after another in a frantic blur. Nostalgia soon followed the guilt, and it tore him apart, except he didn't want to show it, but Geten already noticed his anger faltering which was her cue to relax.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered under his breath, barely for her to hear.

"What?" as the question rolled out of her mouth, she internally lost herself in delirium "BLUEFLAME CRISPY MCBACON JUST APOLOGIZED WTFWTFWTFWTFWTWTF-"

"Geten?"

"YES?" she snapped, too loud for what she initially intended.

"I'll help you, and there's actually something you can do for me in return."

She crossed her arms and smirked confidently at him from her previous ego boost, much to his frowning expression.

"Whatcha suggestin'?"

"I'll scare the fucker off, and you'll then... cool down my skin from using my flames. Deal?"

Geten looked at him for a moment to determine if he was joking about the offer but from the looks of it and his deep husky voice that she got used to oh so many times during the past week of working with him, she concluded that he was, indeed, not messing around. Dabi expected her to laugh it off or straight up refuse whatever suggestion he had on mind, but from the manner she weighed her choices in her head and the way she looked at him, with those bright, beautiful eyes and long lashes fixated to his own... Wait, when did they get this close?

The two backed off and cleared their throats in embarrassment. They were freaking staring at each other, and for fucking what?

"I... It's a deal then."

"Good."

…

"Just... don't hurt yourself too much while dealing with the idiot."

Dabi turned his head so fast his neck hurt.

"WHY ARE YOU ACTING SO WEIRD?!"

"SHUT UP AND MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS!"

As they reached the place where their target was supposed to be, the man soon showed up by Geten's side and started pestering her with all kinds of bull he made her deal with on a daily basis. And just as she felt sick enough, Dabi put his hot hand on the guy's shoulder, making his skin sting in the first-degree burns. The guy then backed off and glared at the fire-user with utmost disdain.

"THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?"

"Listen up freak", Dabi took Geten for the waist and gently pulled her towards himself, her body leaning on his own and fitting perfectly under his larger frame, "I saw what you did there. You’d better stop messing with my girlfriend, or else you'll burn to ashes."

Geten internally screamed and pinched him on the side for being a fucking idiot. "HIS GIRLFRIEND!? THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO PLAY OUT LIKE THAT!"

"You sound too confident, guess I should give you a nice beating to teach you a lesson."

He soon regretted his decision because Dabi was entirely down to realize his threat, and after a couple of burns, the moron retreated while he still could and left Geten alone.

And while she hated that they needed to make a scene in front of the other soldiers who were whispering to each other and exchanged who knows what kinds of things, she couldn't leave Dabi alone like this so she put his hand over her shoulder and helped him reach a more secluded area. They entered his room because he said that he kept the first aid kit in a drawer. It was also the first time that Geten came by but it didn't look at all exciting either; the room had a very plain interior, darkened space with the shutters down, piles of dirty clothes creased to the side probably waiting to be washed, the bed left unmade since this morning, a bunch of disinfectants sitting on the nightstand and some used medical gaze forgotten to be thrown away. Geten almost felt sorry for him. It's not like she was doing any better but at least she knew how to take care of herself.

She seated him carefully on the bed, and he started digging through drawers until he found what he needed. When he was all set, he began to take his jacket and shirt off but then Geten panicked and lowered his shirt.

Dabi's confusion mixed with annoyance was now directed towards the ice gremlin's pretty face. "Aren't you going to cool me down?"

"I THOUGHT YOU ONLY MEANT HANDS AND THINGS LIKE THAT! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!?" she shouted with blushing cheeks covering her face with her hands.

Dabi soon understood what she meant and closed his eyes, wearing a disheartened smile.

"It's not like you'll see much. Just a bunch of patched-up skin and bruises. It's not even that hot."

"THAT'S NOT WHAT-,” but then she noticed that his expression never actually faltered, he looked to the front and waited patiently for her next move, sadness surrounding his wounded features. It's not like it was his first time reconciling with the facts, but still, being this burnt and knowing that it wasn't entirely his fault, but his father was also to blame, which made him remember the days when he wasn't in such a fucked up condition as he was now. It made him feel a bit of regret too. But he needed to acknowledge that the path he took was the one with no return, and he needed to accomplish his mission. Endeavor needed to be brought down at all costs; maybe then he'd gain a sense of worth and show him, prove to him, that he was deserving of more incredible things. The ice-user sighed in defeat and gave up on her embarrassment, "just show me what you got.”

Dabi was brought out of his train of thought, and he took off his shirt. It turns out that he was right, some of his scarred skin was sizzling slightly, and his wounds looked terrible because they were situated further on the back where he couldn't reach. She took the disinfectant from the nightstand and tapped it lightly on the freshly made scars. He made a slight grimace, but didn't flinch, didn't wince, like he was afraid of showing his weaknesses by putting on a tough act. It'll all pay off, he assured himself, once he gets rid of his dad.

When she finished, he allowed Geten to scoot closer to make her do her thing. Her icy hands on his skin felt so good that suddenly he forgot about all of his problems. He turned his face to the side so she wouldn't notice, but the goosebumps on his skin told her otherwise.

She made a sly smile and cocked her head to look at him from the corner.

"What's up, tough guy? Can't hide the way I make you feel good?"

He laughed under his breath. He liked when she was this flirty. It made the situation less awkward. But he also felt uncomfortable with how he needed to depend on someone, just like her, when she asked for his help. Were they that similar?

"I need to ask you something,” Dabi asked quietly like he was probing the waters.

"Yea?"

"Do you still think that I'm weak?"

The silence filled the room, and he had the need to explain himself.

"You said that there's no worth living if the user doesn't possess a strong meta ability. Hooning your power was the only thing worth your time as you didn't wish for anything else. You always thought that our Quirks defined us, that they're things we identify with for life. Now that you've taken a closer look at my condition, tell me, what do you think?"

Geten suddenly grew interested in the laminate floor under their feet as she couldn't look anywhere else, her eyes deep in thought.

"That was very mean of me, and I'm sorry, especially since you risked your own health for my reputation."

"... by calling you, my girlfriend?"

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT IT DIDN'T MAKE ANY ACTUAL SENSE!?, her teeth grew sharp, and her eyes furrowed like some rabid cartoon character.

"It did, actually. Because of my threat, the fool is now afraid of looking at your general direction, knowing that I'd kick his ass whenever he says something stupid again."

Unbothered, he drank his painkillers from the glass of water.

"... Wait. You'd really repeat all of this... for me?"

Just as he drank, so did he spit, coughing and wiping his chin with his forearm.

"Of course I would, but don't get the wrong idea."

""WRONG IDEA"? YOU LITERALLY CALLED ME YOUR GIRLFRIEND IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!"

"IT WAS JUST TO CONFUSE THE FUCKER!"

"THEN WHY WOULD YOU REPEAT IT?"

"IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU REALLY!"

"THEN WHY'S IT!?"

"I JUST NEED YOU FOR YOUR STUPID ICE FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"

The room fell in complete silence once again, and the tension became so thick one could almost cut it with a knife.

Her expression grew cold, and her eyes bore nothing but pure disgust. "So that's what this was all about."

"WHY ARE YOU ACTING SO SURPRISED NOW? IT WAS OUR DEAL, REMEMBER?"

She sat up from her seat and went straight to the door, readying herself to leave.

"Wait."

Just as she was about to step out, she turned around, his tone of voice catching her off guard only to see him sitting miserably on his bed, head hanging and elbows leaning on his knees, grieving.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

Geten stood at the doorway for a minute and then slowly entered again, closing the door behind her. Dabi continued.

"I say things that I don't mean and push the people I care about away."

The white-hair watched his back in silence until she decided to speak up again "... So you actually meant it... the other way?"

"I'm such a sick fuck."

She sensed the crack in his voice and came closer, undoing his hands only to see blood trailing down his face.

"Whoa, what's going on with your scars?" she tried to wipe it off only to smear it across his cheeks, and Dabi smiled a little.

"Aren't you disgusted by it? Now all of your fingers are red."

She didn't mind his words but created an ice cube to wash it with the water.

"I should call Sceptic. He’s much better at this medical shit than I am."

"No one can help me with it. My tear ducts are all burnt out, and I can't really tear up much."

"Wait, you're crying?"

Dabi refused to say anything as she tried to wipe the rest of the blood off, pressing gentle circles on his now iced skin.

"Blueflame…"

"Hah, actually, you're right. Maybe I really am as weak as you told me back then. I literally am falling apart. How pitiful."

Without a second thought, she slapped him across the face, and he took his stinging cheek in his hand.

"YOU FUCKING IDIOT!"

"Thanks...."

"I'm sorry. Look, you're everything but weak, so don't you dare call yourself that. You endured so much pain, your skin is the proof of the things you've gone through in life, and you freaking survived. No one would be able to do this but you. You're not weak, Blueflame, far from it."

"You think so?"

"Of course I do! If it weren't for your help today, I would have talked to Re-Destro, and he'd think that I was too weak for my leadership role. I never actually thanked you for this, thank you."

"You're not weak either, doll. I'm pretty sure that you've beat my ass the week before."

She just smiled at him, and then they looked at each other the same way they did when they made their offer, except they didn't back off this time. They leaned into the kiss that was slow at first, but then they applied more pressure, and it grew more passionate. It was also their first time, so they couldn't really make fun of each other's clumsiness. Whenever their teeth collided, they laughed a little but continued until it felt right. She melted against him, her lips working in tandem with his and his hand slid up her outer thigh as he leaned forward to deepen it. She grasped his lower lip with her teeth before pulling away for some air, and he groaned.

"God, this felt good..." his chest heaved, his words a gravelly whisper.

She stood up and widened her stance, legs bracketing his own as she reached out to grab the back of his neck. She leaned over, forehead resting against his.

"You're not so bad yourself, gorgeous-eyes."

"I differ, yours are much more gorgeous."

"Really? Kinda sappy coming from your side." she grinned, but this didn't discourage him in the slightest.

"I could get lost in them, I mean it."

He caught her face in his palms, drawing her in deeper as his tongue slipped between their lips and slid against hers. His Quirk activated, his kiss is fierce and sweet all at once, and her head spins as his hands slid up her thighs, warming her up. Her mouth became much cooler now, and it sent shivers down his spine. She planted her icy hands on his shoulders and pushed them both backward, landing on the comfort of his bedsheets.

He drew circles over her back and waist, taking in her beautiful features as her head hovered over his own, hair tickling the skin on his face. She gave him a little peck that made him smile, and she cupped his face, thumbs stroking the side of his cheeks.

"So we're official now?" she didn't know why she asked. It was kind of obvious now, but she wanted to hear it coming from his lips.

His expression became serious again as he looked to the side concerningly. He really didn't want to spoil whatever they had going on with his fucked up story about his family, hero society, his mission that could possibly cost him his life for the sake of achieving greater good. Now the last thing he needed was to fall in love with someone and die when he finally found his reason. Life was such a bitch sometimes.

"I'm currently dealing with a very unfortunate situation. I'm afraid that you'd get affected, and I don't want to endanger you by it."

She tilted her head questionably, "And I thought that we'd overcome everything as long as we're fighting together."

He looked at her worryingly, but his words bore a tad bit of curiosity in them, "You want to fight by my side?"

"Of course, you have my full support." she grinned widely, and he smiled, shaking his head in disbelief. It was amazing how much optimism, or rather confidence, could be stored in one single ice gremlin. But he loved her more than everything.

"Very well then." he turned them over and planted a kiss on her forehead before getting on his feet and pulling her up towards himself. "Boss told me about some business we need to take care of in the neighborhood. Cocktail hours?"

"FUCK WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY EARLIER!?"

"Relax, we'll arrive on time." he took his shirt and jacket and put them on.

As they walked towards their location, Dabi took her hand in his while some of the soldiers watched them in confusion, remembering when the two fought against each other.

He couldn't care less. She was the first person who ever supported him, so if his days were outnumbered, then he'd as well spend them with the only person worth his time.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #dabi #geten #dabiten #dabi x femgeten #f!geten #fanfic #paranormal liberation front #meta liberation army #league of villains #plf #mla #lov

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makeste · 5 years

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BnHA Chapter 127: Sir Nighteye

Previously on BnHA: Aizawa announced that the freshman students would be permitted to take on internships. Deku asked All Might to introduce him to his former sidekick Sir Nighteye. At first All Might declined, but then he had a change of heart after seeing Deku’s determination. He ended up asking Mirio (who’s been interning with Nighteye for the past year) to introduce Deku for him. Mirio agreed because he is a pal, and come the weekend, Deku accompanied him to Nighteye’s office. Mirio warned Deku that Nighteye values humor very highly, and if Deku couldn’t make him laugh, he’d probably be sent home in vain. Deku greeted Nighteye and made the weirdest fucking face I’ve ever seen. Times like this, it’s hard to believe this is the same series that was hitting us with that intense character development a mere five chapters ago, not to mention straight up blowing people to splattery bits two chapters ago omg.

Today on BnHA: Nighteye chews Deku out for getting the wrinkles wrong on his All Might impression. Deku activates his Quirk of Being a Giant Nerd and informs Nighteye that actually, his impression is based on a specific incident in which All Might made a particularly weird face. His gatekeeping attempt foiled, Nighteye begrudgingly agrees to test Deku. He says he’ll give him three minutes to take Nighteye’s hanko stamp from his hands and use it to stamp his internship form. This is much more difficult than it sounds, since it turns out that Nighteye’s quirk, Foresight, lets him see into the fucking future. Since he can see all of Deku’s attacks before they happen, Deku quickly finds himself in a pickle. Nighteye says that Mirio should have inherited OFA, and that Deku isn’t worthy. Our little green boy takes some issue with this, seeing as he was acknowledged by All Might himself. He powers up again, determined to show Nighteye just how worthy he is.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 155 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

are you even a megane character if you don’t use your middle finger to flip people off when adjusting your glasses

although to be fair, he has the rest of his fingers all splayed out. clearly he is still undecided as to whether he actually likes Deku or not

fucking look at this title

“shit, we didn’t come up with a title for this one.” “well who’s it about?” “um, these four characters.” “okay just put all four of their full fucking names then”

so he’s towering over Deku, who fully believes that he’s about to die

he fucking loves it, Deku. YOU GOT GUTS, KID!!

wow he’s grabbing Deku’s face and saying All Might doesn’t have a wrinkle on his right side, unlike the face Deku is making

holy shit

nevermind he doesn’t love it

jesus christ. EVEN THE UNLICENSED MERCH, DEKU. FUCKING GET IT RIGHT!!

now Deku’s looking around Nighteye’s office while the man in question continues to aggressively jab his fingers all over his face

he’s jealous of all of Nighteye’s All Might swag

Nighteye says he is “quite displeased” and is telling Deku to leave

what in the

sure. who doesn’t. that’s when all the vinegar just. fuckin’ killed itself

holy shit

OH SNAP. HE FUCKING NAILED IT AFTER ALL

Deku says it’s one of his less popular incidents, but he really likes it

mainly because of All Might’s terrible dad jokes

holy shit I love All Might so fucking much

by the way can you imagine if a river just fucking turned into fucking vinegar all of a sudden. like, did the kid change it back afterward? how much of it was actually changed? someone else is walking along further downstream and they’re all like, “...do you smell something? ...did this river go bad?”

also there’s no suicide in this story. how misleading

now Nighteye’s getting offended and asking Deku if he’s testing him

but Deku says he just got a little hyped up remembering the story

Mirio and Bubble Girl are just watching like, “...”

Mirio’s impressed with how Deku turned the situation around even though he didn’t actually get Nighteye to laugh

so now Nighteye’s sitting down and looking as though he’s considering it

Deku’s all “PLEASE TAKE ME!!! HERE’S THE CONTRACT OMG”

but Nighteye hasn’t quite made up his mind yet whether or not to take him

Nighteye’s laying out all the details of the internship and how tough it is

the internship will last at least a month -- although it’s paid, hell yeah Deku, nice -- and Deku will need to take lots of time off from his lessons at U.A. and he’ll likely have trouble keeping up with his course workload and would risk falling behind his classmates

but Deku has made him his mind on this for sure. he’s not afraid of the extra work

aaaaaand Nighteye is stamping the contract

wait a sec

uh oh

(ETA: how could I have just skipped right over Deku’s reaction without commenting on it omg

fucking flawless comedic timing. who says this kid has no sense of humor)

lol Nighteye says he has no intention of stamping it

Deku, grab his arm real quick and just... he’s right there! you can do it. he’s so skinny. just overpower him

oh shit

what the fuck is wrong with his neck

also, so Mirio’s already considered a sidekick then? you go, Mirio

(ETA: actually, Mangastream has the correct translation here: “this office already gets along fine with two sidekicks and one student intern.” it’s just that at this point we hadn’t yet been introduced to Nighteye’s other horrifying sidekick)

he’s asking Deku what he has to contribute to society. if he wants his acknowledgement then Deku has to show him

of course there’s no need to sum up everything All Might himself had to contribute. nothing to see here, just a single man who transformed the entire world for the better and gave it hope. yep yep

anyway, so Nighteye is again asking him what advantages he can offer his agency. and he says he’d appreciate if he showed him with actions rather than words

well this is tricky. what does Deku have going for him. well his winning attitude and good heart and big hero brain of course. and also a little ol’ thing called One for All, but that part is of course a secret

oh my god

lmao are you serious. yes, exactly. GO FOR IT DEKU, STAMP THAT SHIT YOURSELF

he says he’s giving Deku a rare chance even though he doesn’t have the slightest shred of humor

“am I not merciful” jesus

now he’s telling Mirio and Bubble Girl to skedaddle

well, Deku managed to graze Gran Torino within three minutes his very first time using full cowl. and he’s the guy who trained All Might. Nighteye is just his fucking sidekick. DEKU YOU GOT THIS BRO

Bubble’s asking if Mirio had to pass a test like this when he first started

he says he didn’t, since Nighteye chose him personally. I guess U.A. must have given him the same pitch they gave All Might about how great Mirio is

in both the FA translation and the Mangastream translation, Bubble uses the word “jelly”, and for some irrational reason it’s really making me cringe

so jelly

(ETA: honestly though, Nighteye really does love Mirio. initially it’s framed as just Mirio being his protege and the one he believes is most deserving to inherit OFA, but over the course of the arc it becomes clear he cares about him much more deeply than that. actually, a good deal of Nighteye’s character development is just us gradually learning that he cares a fuckton more than he initially lets on. I have a lot of Nighteye feels. someone sent me an ask about him yesterday, so I’ll post that soon)

Mirio’s thinking to himself that it doesn’t look good for Deku, though

“against Sir’s quirk, accomplishing those conditions is virtually impossible”

well then Sir “All Might’s fucking sidekick” Nighteye, what the fuck is your quirk, then. consider me suitably hyped by this point

Nighteye says he won’t attack Deku, and he doesn’t care what Deku does, even if he damages the room

okay for real though, just how badass is this dude. what rank is he. is he the number three guy at long last? they’re sure making him out to be at that level

(ETA: are we going to get Nighteye’s actual hero ranking at any point? will they mention it in his fucking obituary maybe)

Deku’s powering up full cowl. I hope he went straight to 8%

he’s charging straight at him. Nighteye seems to think it’s a feint

yep he’s right

“you’ll follow with another attack” hoooooooly shit IS HE A PRECOG. IS THAT HIS QUIRK. FUCKING KATAKIRI OMG

although to be fair, literally any asshole could have told you Deku was going to follow up with another attack lmao. “nah, actually that’s it. one and done. I give up now”

imagine if this really is the number three hero. oh Kacchan, I heard you interned with number four, so naturally I went and convinced the number three guy to take me :)

(ETA: and yeah I’m aware that since All Might’s retired, all of the rankings have been bumped up, but I still think of them in terms of their previous rankings for some reason. anyways, you know what I mean)

not that Katsuki would have been able to tolerate this guy for more than thirty seconds

“I see everything.” yeah, I’m pretty sure. either that or he’s got 360 degree vision or some shit

but I really hope it’s precognition. I have a mental list of quirks we haven’t seen yet that I’m anticipating and this is one of them. (I also really want to see mind-reading and truth serum quirks. and an illusionist quirk, because I need one of these villains to play some damn mind games one of these days)

(ETA: WE GOT THE TRUTH SERUM QUIRK AND THEY TOTALLY WASTED IT. I’M SO MAD)

Deku’s thinking to try and beat Nighteye’s quirk by overwhelming him with a bunch of attacks

yesssssss!

(ETA: later on we learn that he can only use this quirk once every 24 hours. that’s a pretty big deal, because it means he took this decision so seriously that he decided to use it on Deku. if he’d ended up needing to use it for something else (say, something related to actual crime-fighting) later on he’d have been SOL.

also, Nighteye is a great example of the advantage a hero has when the details of their quirk aren’t widely publicized for the world to see. and he also proves that it’s more than possible to keep them under wraps even after years of hero work. just saying, U.A. maybe it’s not the most rational thing in the world to deprive your kids of that advantage right from the get go simply because you assume it’ll happen eventually)

so now Deku’s straining to figure out a way to get around his quirk

I would think speed alone would still be able to do it. if you’re fast enough it shouldn’t matter whether the opponent knows the punch is coming or not. but I expect Nighteye is likely faster than Deku though since Deku’s still inexperienced

is there any way to confuse him if someone has a lot of potential “courses of action” and all of them have a near-equal likelihood?

anyway let’s see what he actually does end up doing lol

Nighteye says he was wondering what kind of person Deku was, and that he had high expectations

but he says Deku is mediocre

wow

starting to get an inkling that the guy who can predict the future has gotten a little too used to being right all the time

you really think you know better than All Might on this one, huh. okay

also, exactly how many people know about One for All for real though?? the list just keeps expanding

so Deku’s really surprised. that’s right, he wasn’t aware Mirio had been the original candidate

Nighteye says he respects All Might, but they didn’t see eye to eye when it came to his successor

why do you think you should have had a say in it to begin with?

I guess All Might probably confided in a few people and asked for advice and recommendations though

oh dang

(ETA: All Might does a lot of not telling Deku things. he is the Obi-Wan of this series after all)

I don’t know if I’m ready for Deku to have a crisis of confidence so soon after Kacchan’s. I hope this doesn’t rattle him too much

he asked All Might back at the sports festival if he wanted someone else, and All Might told him in no uncertain terms he was the one, so. hope he remembers that

so Nighteye’s reminding him that the clock’s still ticking down while he’s just standing there thinking

he’s being a real asshole! :)

NOT ACCORDING TO THE GOAT ALL MIGHT THERE ISN’T

I mean, not to compare All Might to Lord Voldemort lol, but it’s kinda the same thing. having heard a prophecy that could have applied to two different children, Voldemort went with the child most similar to him, rather than the pureblood. All Might also had his choice of successors. Mirio is amazing and would have definitely been worthy. but in the end, All Might chose the boy who was born quirkless just like him. just because he started from further down doesn’t mean his ceiling is lower than anyone else’s, and in fact it may just be the highest of them all

oh good. Deku’s getting fired up

good Deku

“All Might... chose me!” yessssssssss omg. bring it!

“he’s not the kind of kid who’s so used to rejection anymore!” omfg. now they’re trying to get me fired up. and it’s working oh damn

BONUS:

it is pretty sweet how he went out of his way to make sure she got a decent amount of screentime and not just some one-time background role

but like, he can’t pretend her costume design wasn’t 100% the reason he picked her, and tbh it kind of skeeves me out. anywayy

#bnha #boku no hero academia #midoriya izuku #sir nighteye #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #you know #considering all the bs deku is about to go through in this arc #you're damn right he better be getting paid #to hell with stain's philosophy #give my boy his cash money #he sure as hell earned it

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patrickrealstories · 4 years

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For a better understanding of the topic, let me give a vivid idea of how I can relate the abuses to what I can easily call domestic violence or more preferably intimate partner violence.

According to Wikipedia Domestic violence (also named domestic abuse or family violence) is violence or other abuse by one person against another in a domestic setting, such as in marriage or cohabitation. It may be termed intimate partner violence when committed by a spouse or partner in an intimate relationship against the other spouse or partner, and can take place in heterosexual or same-sex relationships, or between former spouses or partners. Domestic violence can also involve violence against children, parents, or the elderly.

INTERVIEW WITH FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE ON DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

For further reading here is the links to convince you:

https://www.compasspoint.org/blog/domestic-violence-and-shackles-single-story

Here are the questions that the interviewer ask her

Jennifer Chen Speckman – So what does this notion of a single story have to do with domestic violence?

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi– Domestic violence is what people aren’t talking about. News stories reference estranged spouses, “high-conflict marriages,” or “custody battles,” but never domestic violence. In the discussion of differing priorities—whether it be gun violence, opportunity youth, mental health, education, or child welfare—it is essential to comprehend why it is so uncomfortable to acknowledge the larger picture—the one where the complexity of a domestic violence dynamic operating in a single household can wreak such havoc in the world. Prescribing a single story to the situation creates comfort. We pretend we know how things stand for other people. Assigning space for multiple stories opens our eyes to oppression, systemic failures, and incredible human cruelty. People don’t want to think about it. However, research shows us that we cannot ignore it and we cannot afford to assign a single story.

Jennifer Chen Speckman – So where do we go from here and where do the solutions lie?

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi–

First, we must come to the table with openness and curiosity to find our client as a multi-faceted human being, a full picture of historical legacies, power dynamics, social norms, political forces, and personal perspectives.

The next step is to empower children, families, and adults to find the multitude of their personal narratives. Research conducted by Sara and Marshall Duke at Emory University shows that children who have a strong sense of family narrative demonstrate greater self-confidence and resilience than those without. (“The Stories that Bind Us,” New York Times). Historical contexts of oppression and resilience matter, and connection to those complexities result in empowerment. How are children to find their family narrative if their family is marginalized and shackled to a single story?

Finally, we must acknowledge that domestic violence exists in our society in part because of the oppression of the single story. The oppression of women and children has existed since the beginning of human history; not too long ago, women and children were considered property and what happened in the home was private. We cannot think that such oppression will be eradicated easily. The WDVN challenges the community to view domestic violence as a confluence of stories about power dynamics and oppression, permeating all elements of historic legacies, life, well-being, family, and community. We ask that members of the community reflect and support every child’s and parent’s right to exist beyond a single story. The ability to allow for many stories ultimately will foster a community which is strong and empowered in mind, body, and soul.

A PERSONAL INTERVIEW WITH SOMEONE WHO WAS ABUSED BY HER BOYFRIEND

NOTE- Her name was omitted base on personal and security reasons.

What did you love about him despite his toxicity?

HER ANSWER–

That was his imperfection, except that, dude was a great guy, he loved me a great deal but that his anger thing was what I couldn’t deal with, he was obsessed, I mean dude even fought men that looked at me, which was very bad.

There are so many things that makes one great in a relationship, he loved me with care, was scared to lose me thereby over protection.

One thing that turns me on in my relationship is when my partner trusts and owns me

It makes me fly, dammnit

I just couldn’t stand the toxic part, he became abusive, I couldn’t say hi to men, I couldn’t even talk/chat with men and he couldn’t stand me smiling and laughing with others while I frown at him, it makes him feel like he should kill me

Did you ever dig to find out what made him so possessive and insanely jealous?

HER ANSWER–

He doesn’t know, we talked about it, I wanted to help him but dude just says he loves me too much, doesn’t want to lose me bla bla bla and that wasn’t enough for me. He becomes a monster at the sight of me laughing with others. He starts hitting me and crying why I am doing this to him. Mehn, I had to run. He pleaded, tried so hard to get me back but I said Na, I am too beautiful to die because of your anger issue.

He’s still trying to get me back, he still thinks I will never find a man that loves me as much as he does Sadly for him, I think my bf loves me better now even when he’s a crack head(she laugh hysterically).

REASONS WHY SOME WOMEN ENDURE ABUSIVE MARRIGE

The following are the various reasons why most victims stay in an abusive relationship:

Attachment of Mrs. tag/marital status

low self-esteem and low self-worth

Embarrassment or shame

Keeping marital vows

Marriage as an achievement

Finances

societal pressure

Fear of being alone (extreme self-hate if you ask me)

Children

dysfunctional family/ broken home/Family

Cultural/religious reasons

ATTACHMENT OF MRS. TAG/MARITAL STATUS

Most women in the society feel much attachment to their marital status or the Mrs. Tag syndrome. They prefer to stay in the abusive marriage rather than leave and remain single thereby bearing “Miss”. They believe so much in the marital status and see it as a means of intimidating other women who are not married by showing off their ring on their finger.

Here is what a Nigeria feminist have to say about the frequent waving of rings by married and the so much attachment of the title “Mrs”.

REFERENCE 1(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””””” I know an unmarried woman in Nigeria who, when she goes to conferences, wears a wedding ring because she wants her colleagues to—according to her—“give her respect.” The sadness in this is that a wedding ring will indeed automatically make her seem worthy of respect, while not wearing a wedding ring would make her easily dismissible —and this is in a modern workplace. “”””””

REFERENCE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the seventh Suggestion

“””””” Mrs’ is a title I dislike because Nigerian society gives it too much value. I have observed too many cases of men and women who proudly speak of the title of Mrs as though those who are not Mrs have somehow failed at something. Mrs can be a choice, but to infuse it with as much value as our culture does is disturbing. The value we give to Mrs Means that marriage changes the social status of a woman but not that of a man. (Is that perhaps why many women complain of married men still ‘acting’ as though they were single? Perhaps if our society asked married men to change their names and take on a new title, different from Mr, their behaviour might change as well? Ha!)

But more seriously, if you, a twenty-eight-year-old master’s degree holder, go overnight from Ijeawele Eze to Mrs Ijeawele Udegbunam, surely it requires not just the mental energy of changing passports and licenses but also a psychic change, a new ‘becoming’? This new ‘becoming’ would not matter so much if men, too, had to undergo it.

I prefer Ms because it is similar to Mr. A man is Mr whether married or not, a woman is Ms whether married or not. So please teach Chizalum that in a truly just society, women should not be expected to make marriage-based changes that men are not expected to make. Here’s a nifty solution: each couple that marries should take on an entirely new surname, chosen however they want as long as both agree to it, so that a day after the wedding, both husband and wife can hold hands and joyfully journey off to the municipal offices to change their passports, driver’s licenses, signatures, initials, bank accounts, etc. “”””””

LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND LOW SELF-WORTH

When an abusive partner constantly puts someone down and blames them for the abuse, it can be easy for the victim to believe those statements and think that the abuse is their fault. Many women felt beaten down and of no value, the abusive partner made them believe that they are worthless and alone. Therefore they felt they have done something wrong and they deserved it.

EMBARRASSMENT OR SHAME

It’s often difficult for someone to admit that they’ve been abused. They may feel they’ve done something wrong by becoming involved with an abusive partner. They may also worry that their friends and family will judge them. One reason many victims hesitate to speak up is because they are afraid of being judged and pressured by friends and professionals. They in the process of the abuse they keep silent. Most of the abused partner is been threaten of their life.

Some women believe that there is heroism in enduring abusive marriage and the shame of telling people about it is what they don’t like, so many grew up seeing their own mothers hanging on to abusive marriages and most times still got to “outlive” their abusive fathers. So they have these saying in their mind “So if my mother survived my father, I can also survive my abusive husband”.

Here is what a Nigeria feminist have to say about shame concerning women. Am using the writeup about shame to talk about abuse women suffer and their reluctant attitude to speakup.

REFERENCE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””””” We teach girls shame. We make them feel as though by being born female, they are already guilty of something. And so girls grow up to be women who cannot say they have desire. Who silence themselves. Who cannot say what they truly think. Who have turned pretence into an art form. “”””””

REFERENCE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the eighth Suggestion

“””””” Encourage her to speak her mind, to say what she really thinks, to speak truthfully. And then praise her when she does. Praise her especially when she takes a stand that is difficult or unpopular because it happens to be her honest position. Tell her that if anything ever makes her uncomfortable, to speak up, to say it, to shout. “”””””

KEEPING MARITAL VOWS

In as much as the man is wrong for beating his wife. The woman still stand on what she vowed for at the altar. Some women be enduring their marriage instead of enjoying their marriage. This is what you get when you marry a man that is not ready instead of marrying a man that truly love you. So the women hold unto these marital vow. They prefer to die in the abusive marriage than quite.

To make my point clear about this, here is what a Nigeria feminist have to say about how some women use these marital in defence of abusive marriage.

REFERENCE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””””” We use the word respect for something a woman shows a man but often not for something a man shows a woman. Both men and women will say: “I did it for peace in my marriage.” When men say it, it is usually about something they should not be doing anyway.

Something they say to their friends in a fondly exasperated way, something that ultimately proves to them their masculinity—“Oh, my wife said I can’t go to clubs every night, so now, for peace in my marriage, I go only on weekends.”

When women say “I did it for peace in my marriage,” it is usually because they have given up a job, a career goal, a dream. We teach females that in relationships, compromise is what a woman is more likely to do. “”””””

MARRIAGE AS AN ACHIEVEMENT

Here most women who have place there whole life in marriage, see it as an achievement. So leaving it seems odd. There hope, faith and believe are there. It is precisely because most women see marriage as a life-retirement package and would like to remain in it so far it’s an achievement to them, rather than terminate it and become single all over again.

Here is what a Nigeria feminist have to say about neglecting the idea of marriage as an achievement;

REFERENCE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the seventh Suggestion

“””””” Never speak of marriage as an achievement. Find ways to make clear to her that marriage is not an achievement, nor is it what she should aspire to. A marriage can be happy or unhappy, but it is not an achievement. “”””””””

REFERENCE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the seventh Suggestion

“””””” We condition girls to aspire to marriage and we do not condition boys to aspire to marriage, and so there is already a terrible imbalance at the start. The girls will grow up to be women preoccupied with marriage. The boys will grow up to be men who are not preoccupied with marriage. The women marry those men. The relationship is automatically uneven because the institution matters more to one than the other. Is it any wonder that, in so many marriages, women sacrifice more, at a loss to themselves, because they have to constantly maintain an uneven exchange? One consequence of this imbalance is the very shabby and very familiar phenomenon of two women publicly fighting over a man, while the man remains silent. “”””””

REFERENCE 3 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” We also need to question the idea of marriage as a prize to women, because that is the basis of these absurd debates. If we stop conditioning women to see marriage as a prize, then we would have fewer debates about a wife needing to cook in order to earn that prize. It is interesting to me how early the world starts to invent gender roles.””””””

REFERENCE 4 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

Because I am female, I’m expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Marriage can be a good thing, a source of joy, love, and mutual support. But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage, but we don’t teach boys to do the same?

REFERENCE 5 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” I know young women who are under so much pressure—from family, from friends, even from work—to get married that they are pushed to make terrible choices. Our society teaches a woman at a certain age who is unmarried to see it as a deep personal failure. Even the language we use illustrates this. The language of marriage is often a language of ownership, not a language of partnership. “””””

REFERENCE 6 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the thirteen Suggestion

“”””” And speaking of women lamenting about men who ‘promise’ marriage and then disappear – isn’t it odd that in most societies in the world today, women generally cannot propose marriage? Marriage is such a major step in your life and yet you cannot take charge of it; it depends on a man asking you. So many women are in long-term relationships and want to get married but have to wait for the man to propose – and often this waiting becomes a performance, sometimes unconscious and sometimes not, of marriage-worthiness. If we apply the first Feminism Tool here, then it makes no sense that a woman who matters equally has to wait for somebody else to initiate what will be a major life change for her.

It goes back, I think, to that early conditioning. At a recent baby’s baptism ceremony, guests were asked to write their wishes for the baby girl. One guest wrote: ‘I wish for you a good husband.’ Well-intentioned but very troubling. A three-month-old baby girl already being told that a husband is something to aspire to. Had the baby been a boy, it would not have occurred to that guest to wish for him ‘a good wife’. “””””””

REFERENCE 7 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the sixth suggestion

“””” Don’t you know you are old enough to find a husband?’ I used to say that often. But now I choose not to. I say, ‘You are old enough to find a job.’ Because I do not believe that marriage is something we should teach young girls to aspire to. “”””

REFERENCE 8 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””””” I know young women who are under so much pressure—from family, from friends, even from work—to get married that they are pushed to make terrible choices. Our society teaches a woman at a certain age who is unmarried to see it as a deep personal failure. “”””””

FINANCES

Since many of them are financially dependent, they rather stay put and take the abuse in good faith rather than expose themselves and their children to an uncharted life with great uncertainties.

Financial abuse is common, and a victim may be financially dependent on their abusive partner. Without money, access to resources or even a place to go, it can seem impossible for them to leave the relationship. This feeling of helplessness can be especially strong if the person lives with their abusive partner.

Imagine the wife is not dependent on her husband for money, when such abuse come up, she can gut off the marriage at any time. So women who depend much on their husband experience some kind of financial abuse, therefore cutting off is impossible. So women who stay in such abusive marriage has bestowed their full hope on the money aspect in the marriage, so leaving the marriage seems difficult.

Here is what a Nigeria feminist have to say about money.

NOTE-The reference here does not really take up on reason why women stay in marriage but am doing a reference here pertaining to the idea of money in marriage.

REFERENCE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the thirteen Suggestion

“””” I want to say something about money here. Teach her never ever to say such nonsense as ‘my money is my money and his money is our money’. It is vile. And dangerous – to have that attitude means that you must potentially accept other harmful ideas as well. Teach her that it is NOT a man’s role to provide. In a healthy relationship, it is the role of whoever can provide to provide. “”””

REFERENCE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””” In secondary school, a boy and a girl go out, both of them teenagers with meager pocket money. Yet the boy is expected to pay the bills, always, to prove his masculinity. (And we wonder why boys are more likely to steal money from their parents.) What if both boys and girls were raised not to link masculinity and money? What if their attitude was not “the boy has to pay,” but rather, “whoever has more should pay.””””

REFERENCE 3 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the nineteen Suggestion

“”””””Igbo culture also focuses a little too much on materialism, and while money is important – because money means self-reliance – you must not value people based on who has money and who does not.’ “”””””

REFERENCE 4 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” In secondary school, a boy and a girl go out, both of them teenagers with meager pocket money. Yet the boy is expected to pay the bills, always, to prove his masculinity. (And we wonder why boys are more likely to steal money from their parents.) What if both boys and girls were raised not to link masculinity and money? What if their attitude was not “the boy has to pay,” but rather, “whoever has more should pay.” Of course, because of their historical advantage, it is mostly men who will have more today. But if we start raising children differently, then in fifty years, in a hundred years, boys will no longer have the pressure of proving their masculinity by material means. But by far the worst thing we do to males—by making them feel they have to be hard —is that we leave them with very fragile egos. The harder a man feels compelled to be, the weaker his ego is. “”””

SOCIETAL PRESSURE

The society has a vivid and unpleasant view of women of certain age bracket and divorcee, especially if they are women. For example, once a lady gets married, no one expects her to return to her father’s house, not even her family members. Therefore its means her enduring life-threatening abuses from her abusive husband.

Here is what a Nigeria feminist have to say about society pressure on unmarried women and the society sees them as a different person.

REFERENCE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

FEAR OF BEING ALONE (EXTREME SELF-HATE IF YOU ASK ME)-

Here the person may be afraid of what will happen if they decide to leave the relationship/marriage. The threat of bodily and emotional harm is powerful, and abusers use this to control and keep women trapped. Female victims of violence are much more likely than male victims to be terrorized and traumatized.

Attempting to leave an abuser is dangerous. Some women felt trapped because of their husbands’ threats of hunting them down and harming all their loved ones including the kids.

CHILDREN-

These women also put their children first, sacrificing their own safety. And they valued their children lives more than their own. The thought that they can’t earn to take care of self and the children.- Any woman who hangs on to an abusive marriage with the excuse that she is still there because of her children is living in self-denial as she is using the children as a cover up for her fear of leaving “the comfort zone”.

Again most of these women who don’t leave abusive marriage think the abuse may be lay down on their children, so they prefer to stay to avoid such. In some culture, when she leaves the children belongs to the man automatically.

Here is what a Nigeria feminist have to say about children possession in bad marriage. Here am relating it to abusive marriage.

REFERENCE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the nineteen Suggestion

“””””” Teach her to question our culture’s selective use of biology as ‘reasons’ for social norms. I know a Yoruba woman, married to an Igbo man, who was pregnant with her first child and was thinking of first names for the child. All the names were Igbo. Shouldn’t her children have Yoruba first names since they would have their father’s Igbo surname? I asked, and she said, ‘A child first belongs to the father. It has to be that way.’ We often use biology to explain the privileges that men have, the most common reason being men’s physical superiority.

It is of course true that men are in general physically stronger than women. But if we truly depended on biology as the root of social norms, then children would be identified as their mother’s rather than their father’s because when a child is born, the parent we are biologically – and incontrovertibly – certain of is the mother. We assume the father is who the mother says the father is. How many lineages all over the world are not biological, I wonder?

For many Igbo women, the conditioning is so complete that women think of children only as the father’s. I know of women who have left bad marriages but not been ‘allowed’ to take their children or even to see their children because the children belong to the man. “”””””

REFERENCE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” When women say “I did it for peace in my marriage,” it is usually because they have given up a job, a career goal, a dream. “”””

REFERENCE 3 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY/ BROKEN HOME/BROKEN FAMILY

A dysfunctional family is a fertile ground to raise children who would have a higher chance of growing up into damaged adults and the sad circle continues.

Toxic background (grew up in an abusive or with negligent parents, basically they feel they have nowhere to run to).

A broken home is not only where one of the parent is no longer in the daily life of the spouse and the child(ren) between them but also where both parents are under the same roof but toxic is the atmosphere in the home.

People who are born into abusive homes will most likely subconsciously tilt towards abusive partners. When a child grows up seeing dad and mum fight, or mum been beaten up, they watch mum cry and struggle, they believe that in relationships it is normal to cry and struggle too.

When they speak to their crying mum, she may say daddy loves us, it’s my fault for not cooking the food well, or it’s my fault I was rude. They then adapt to this notion and begin to reason in like manner.

They learn at a tender age that this is what marriage is or this is what love is. Some believe if their partner is not beating them or if their partner is not abusive, they don’t really love them.

They then marry abusers and of course the cycle continues. Their own interpretation of marriage is that beating and abuse is normal so why should they leave? Their mothers stayed so why should they leave?

CULTURAL/RELIGIOUS REASONS-

Traditional gender roles supported by someone’s culture or religion may influence them to stay rather than end the relationship for fear of bringing shame upon their family. Most culture support abuse in marriage. Religious also is another reason why they stay because instead of bringing shame to their religious they prefer to stay in the abusive marriage/relationship.

PROVE 1(FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” Some people will say a woman is subordinate to men because it’s our culture. But culture is constantly changing. I have beautiful twin nieces who are fifteen. If they had been born a hundred years ago, they would have been taken away and killed. Because a hundred years ago, Igbo culture considered the birth of twins to be an evil omen. Today that practice is unimaginable to all Igbo people.

What is the point of culture? Culture functions ultimately to ensure the preservation and continuity of a people. In my family, I am the child who is most interested in the story of who we are, in ancestral lands, in our tradition. My brothers are not as interested as I am. But I cannot participate, because Igbo culture privileges men and only the male members of the extended family can attend the meetings where major family decisions are taken. So although I am the one who is most interested in these things, I cannot attend the meeting. I cannot have a formal say. Because I am female. Culture does not make people. People make culture. If it is true that the full humanity of women is not our culture, then we can and must make it our culture. “””””

WHY DO WOMEN ENDURE ABUSIVE MARRIAGE? For a better understanding of the topic, let me give a vivid idea of how I can relate the abuses to what I can easily call domestic violence or more preferably intimate partner violence.

0 notes