#I seriously considered just not posting the 4th part

[evilfloralfoolery]

I don't know if this will help any of my fellow writers, but a good friend of mine put some things into perspective for me today, so I wanted to share.

I often wonder why some things of mine get a decent amount of engagement while others do not. Is it the content? Is it the length? Is it not enough snzfuckery? Blah, blah, blah.

My friend writes for a well-known organization in our town and told me that she experiences the same thing with her articles. She says that her most popular article is actually quite bad (lol) and she's not even sure why people love it so much. So, she started running statistics on all of her stuff, literally studied trends, markets, etc. She found that it has absolutely nothing to do with her content at all. It's all timing. Every bit of it. Did the right people see it at the right time? Was there a good amount of traffic on the website at that time?

So, if you feel like your stuff isn't being seen or isn't being commented on enough, sometimes? It's probably the timing more than anything else. Did people reblog it at the time when others will see it? Did you post it when people were actually there to read it?

Just something to think about before you go all "I MUST SUCK!" on yourself. <3

[animestsstuff2]

Unconventional

Bakugou Katsuki x fem reader

Had this lil idea of what it would be like to date Bakugou in secret, how dating him is pretty unconventional and he doesn’t go by any traditional standards.

Possible part 2..?

♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎

Dating Bakugou was anything but normal but you were okay with that. He showed you he cared in his own ways, even if they were unconventional. The fact your relationship was a secret also didn’t bother you. He kinda implied he’d like to keep it quiet at the beginning telling you “those damn extras will just try n’ nosey in, ‘specially that raccoon eyes one”

You were honestly surprised you were dating sometimes, considering how opposite you both were. You personalities often collided and so did you quirks, it was actually the reason for most of your interactions when you first started U.A. He hated your quirk. It surprised him during battle training. A water based quirk that allowed you to manipulate any water source, his sweat included and thats what got him. He lost to a stupid extra like you all because you fired his sweat back at him.

He was hell-bent on beating you where-ever and whenever he could, first the damn nerd and now some extra who wouldn’t bat an eye his way outside of training. What? did you think you were above him? Bakugou noticed his thoughts there after were almost always of you, at least once a day you popped into his mind. He realised he wasn’t just thinking of different ways to beat you, he was just thinking about you..

What lead to the weird relationship you shared before he asked you out was also unconventional. It was after school one day, Bakugou yelling for you to slow down and asking forcing you to come train with him. He was thinking all day of a way to get back at you for beating his ass in some basic training a few weeks ago. You tried to object, voice calm and contrasting the blondes shouts but he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

This was the spark that lead to you both dating. You didn’t mean to hurt him as bad as you did, in all honesty you panicked. The blonde was moving more feverishly through the air, more agile and quicker than usual. He was determined. Your typical calm composure broke and you slammed him into the training post with a flush attack. You didn’t mean to slam him as hard as you did nor did you mean to take so much water from the nearby fountain. You winded and basically waterboarded the poor boy.

“Bakugou! Im so sorry. I panicked I didn’t mean to be so rough” you squeaked, dropping to your knees as your hands grabbed at his face, holding it as your concerned eyes met his wild ones. His breaths shallow as he tried to catch his breath. Your hands moving down to squeeze his biceps as you took deep breaths hoping he’d mimic you, which he did.

“Get off me! M’fine” he was more flustered over the coldness of your hands on his face and arms than the initial winding. His cheeks turning red as he shoved you and quickly stumbled up only to stagger as pain erupted from his lower back. You quickly rushed over to him, looping his arm over your neck. His voice loud in your ear as he tried to get away but with each sharp movement came another pang of pain in his back.

“Bakugou! We have to get you to recovery girl” you chewed on your lip, feeling guilty as ever for hurting the blonde. Your thoughts running rampant.

Well if he didn’t like you before he definitely doesn’t now!

“No, just bring me back to my dorm you damn wuss” he grumbled and you nodded not wanting to argue with him any longer.

The walk back to the dorms was thankfully short but seriously tense and awkward. The guilt was eating at you as you chewed your lip. The blonde staggering trying not to lean his weight on you. His heavy arm around your shoulder was already a bit much. The communal area thankfully was empty but Bakugous dorm was on the 4th floor and of course the elevators were broken. You both quietly grumbled as you took to the stairs, getting up to the second floor when you heard voices.

“Hey Denki you know were Bakugous at?” Kirishima asked from round the corner. Bakugou tensed and so did you as you glanced up at him.

“Your room is on this floor isn’t it?” He mumbled, probably the quietest you’d ever heard him. You just nodded as his body trembled ever so slightly from the exertion.

“Just go there till these damn extras clear off” he grumbled, more annoyed than before. He just wanted his bed didn’t wanna sit in some girly pink room that would probably give him a migraine. You helped the blonde get quickly into your room hearing their voices get louder as you caught a glimpse of the red head as he turned the corner. His eyes missing the tuft of blonde you shoved inside your door.

“H-here you can sit on my bed” you mumbled as you helped him onto the bed. Your room actually surprised him slightly. He really expected it to be glitter vomit everywhere. His eyes narrowed in on you as you stood in front of him, picking at your fingers. Your eyes glancing at his red ones but quickly flicking away.

“Im only stayin’ till the coast is clear or my back feels better. Don’t wanna be round you more than I have to” he grumbled out and you nodded watching as he sat still hunched over. His fingers curled into the plush comforter on the edge of your bed.

“Im really sorry again Bakugou, do you want anything? Any water or a heat pack” you apologised again, bowing as your thoughts scattered in your brain.

Great! There go any chances of him ever liking you. Your crush on Bakugou was honestly a curse that you loved and hated. The blonde grew on you for some reason much without your consent. You tried to be as secretive as possible but it must be so obvious considering how flustered you get round him. Your cheeks always get so red Uraraka constantly thinks you’re sick. The only time you can really think is when you’re training but thats just cause you wanna impress him, so much for that, nearly crippled the boy.

“Heat pack would be good” he mumbled quietly, not wanting to accept your generosity charity. You nodded, quickly going into the small box at the end of the bed that had a small collection of medical items, heat packs especially for when you got your period.

You cracked the pack and handed it to him watching as he reached his hand round only to jerk and pull it back. A breath leaving his mouth as he hunched over again. Your eyes widened as you stepped over, grabbing the heat pack from him and moving onto the bed.

“Let me, please I don’t want you hurting yourself anymore” you quickly said, leaving no room for protest from him as his cheeks heated. “U-um, where does it hurt the most?”

“Just above my lower back..yea, there” okay both your cheeks were burning as your hands gripped the bottom of his shirt, lifting it up to reveal the blondes toned back. A red ugly mark directly in the centre. Your light touches made the blonde suck a breath in as his stomach tensed. Your fingers ghosting the edges of the mark scared of hurting him anymore. His back was littered with small scraps and scars. The pale skin marred.

“Y’gonna put it on or what?” He forced out, voice hoarser than he intended. You puffed your cheeks out as you laid the patch over the red mark. His skin tingled from your cold hands as you dropped the shirt and shuffled back round to sit beside him. His head hung low eyes downcast as the quietest thanks left his lips you almost didn’t hear it.

“You don’t need to thank me, Its my fault your hurt” you laughed sheepishly and the blondes head snapped to yours eyes narrowed.

“Just accept it alright! Last time i ever thank you for somethin’” you nodded, a smile on your face at his antics.

It certainly wasn’t the last time he thanked you for something and something developed from that interaction after all Bakugou was actually forced to stay for an hour before he was able to walk without your aid. To most people nothing special occurred in that hour, two classmates in ones bedroom hanging out but this was Bakugou Katsuki, the man who didn’t willingly have friends nor enjoyed hanging out with the ones he was forced to have but being in your room for an hour was more than enough time for the crush you had on him to explode as you sat on the bed together and made the tiniest small talk ever! And his thoughts of you finally became clear and a weird feeling settled in his chest. His behaviour towards you changed too, he treated you differently it was really only noticeable if you paid close enough attention but your classmates chalked it up as Bakugou just not bothering someone as quiet as you as much.

[black-lake]

self care based on your chart

I talked about the signs and houses connection to body parts and many of you requested this post. These are ways to do your self-care using your chart, the signs, and planetary placements and aspects. The same concept can be applied using simple self-love practices in other areas of life too.

✧ notes 

I recommend you look at your transits chart or solar return as well to better know the best self-care practices at the time. You can base your general self-care on your natal chart but the transits can tell you the best times to take action or avoid taking action on something significant. 

Look for the planets placements and their aspects, mainly if in the angular houses or make many significant aspects. Like I mentioned before I got so much dental work done when saturn was in the 10th, conjunct my mc and opposite north node, it was expensive but I was able to afford it.

You can also consider the degrees if you're feeling extra, in your natal chart and your solar return. Degrees can be associated with signs, so they can be simply linked to the areas they rule.

Planets rule things related to body parts like diseases or accidents and influence certain parts of the body depending on the aspects they make. Also two planets can influence the same body parts.

✧ SIGNS 

Aries/1st house - head, face, brain, eyes 

— Prone to headaches so get quality sleep, wash your hair often, and do wash your makeup, nothing heavy on the head. Exercise and workout in general helps release any pent-up energy or stress. Take good care of your eyes, sunglasses, eye drops, natural eye products/makeup. Keep your brain healthy. Foods and supplements that regulate your energy levels. Head massages, soft pillows, facemasks, frequent haircuts, breathing exercises, get enough brain oxygen. Fast thinkers and can have racing thoughts, so journaling, running, meditating can help. Release anger in healthy ways.

Taurus/2nd house - neck, ears, throat, thyroid 

— The senses can be heightened so make sure your environment is comfortable, the temperature, the sounds, scents, fabrics, the food, arrange it like it's a visions board. Coffee, tea, warm soups, breads and oats, and warm herbal drinks that work for you. Can cling to that one thing they like, so do change your diet from time to time to get different nutrient. Renew your clothes, make your space cozy. Neck massages, aromatherapy, and body relaxation methods. Singing or writing, chill playlists, comfy places and peaceful walks. Cooking your own food can be therapeutic and healing for you. 

Gemini/3rd house - arms, hands, lungs, shoulders 

— Tend to be anxious and restless, since it also rules the nervous system and is ruled by mercury, so the mind is central. Can't stress it enough, but writing,  journaling, speaking just getting your thoughts out. Since the mind is always active, look for ways to release that mental energy. Cardio, pilates, fast sports, board games, socialising. Can have fast metabolism and lean long body parts so accustom your diet and exercise based on that. Massage your shoulders, read a book, and do stretch regularly. Honestly..  joke around, taking all those thoughts seriously is no good. DO YO NAILLS 💅

Cancer/4th house - chest, breast, stomach, womb 

— Ruled by the moon, get a healthy outlet for your emotions, accept your emotions, write, speak up, cry when you need, watch something funny, your comfort show, make yourself laugh. Check your hormones regularly, find a good diet for stomach health, whole grains and high-fiber foods, take your digestive supplements. Do yoga, stomach exercises, breathing exercises. Drink lots of water. Choose your friends wisely, find people you trust. Make your bedroom comfy, invest in a quality bed, get yourself comfy clothes. Cooking your own food is again a self love thing to do, baking, homey places, nature and quiet places. Get you a furr baby.  

Leo/5th house - heart, spine, spinal column, upper back 

— Ruled by the sun, go out more and get your vitamin d. Choose heart-healthy foods, leafy greens and soluble fiber foods and supplements. Check your heart health and blood pressure. Do exercises that work for both your heart, your upper back and shoulders, aerobic exercises, fun sports and activities. You can be generous to everyone but be generous to yourself too, buy yourself gifts, spoil yourself. Do a full hair and skin routine, find a hobby, watch shows that inspire you, make your inner child happy. Embrace you emotions, your skills, pursue your passions, be expressive and go out for adventures.

Virgo/6th house - abdomen, digestive system, intestines, spleen

— Listen to your body and keep adjusting your diet and routine to fit your needs. Your body can be just as picky, so be mindful of the food you consume, of any allergies or foods that are hard to digest. Get your digestive supplements and enzymes, do your research. Choose gut-healthy foods and the best times to eat for you. Go for a nature walk, exercise to release any pent-up stress, cardio or pilates. Get indoors plants or plant them yourself. Spend time with pets. Make your own natural medicine that works for you, even if as simple as tea. Read a book, journal to organize your thoughts, keep your space clean. Reward yourself and acknowledge your efforts and progress. 

Libra/7th house - kidneys, lower back, bladder, buttocks

— Find a way to maintain a balanced lifestyle that works for you. Add a variety of nutrients to your diet, foods for healthy kidneys to make that skin glow, antioxidant foods and supplements. Keep your kidneys and bladder healthy. Lower body and buttocks exercises, strength training, dancing, going out for walks. Decorate and beautify your own place, try new recipes, go for a picnic. How you feel is more important than how you look, make yourself feel pretty, do a skincare routine, create a vision board, romanticize your life. Be the person you want to love and identify your own opinions from those of others, yours matter. 

Scorpio/8th house - genitals, colon, urethra, reproductive system

— With all those transformative energies, change what you consume to fulfill your changed needs, feeding your body and mind the proper nutrients. Maintain healthy reproductive organs and balanced hormones, do your check ups. Maintain healthy guts, fiber and antioxidant rich foods, high vitamin drinks, herbal medicine can be beneficial too. Lower body and muscle exercises, stretch regularly, breath and meditate to calm your mind. Invest in quality skincare and unscented hygiene products. Journal, write your reflections, your progress and goals, positive affirmations, light your great scented candles and watch a funny show. 

Sagittarius/9th house - thighs, hips, liver, legs

— Go out and wander around, exploring new places, foods, and random things will light you up, you know it. Find a diet that works for your energy levels, protein rich foods and shakes, citrus and greens, simple nutritious meals. Watch out for any leg injuries. Go out for running, do leg exercises, muscle building, any outdoors sports. Write a bucket list, update your wishes list, go for mini solo adventures, speak to the locals when you travel, learn new words, find authentic travel souvenirs. Listen to a podcast or watch a documentary, keep a positive outlook on your future, positive environment and self-talk.

Capricorn/10th house - bones, joints, knees, skin, hair

— Can get caught up in doing or not doing things, so allow yourself to both be active and rest when you need. Find foods and supplements that are good for bone strength and joint health, calcium and magnesium rich foods, going out and getting your vitamin d is good for both your skin and bones. Going for morning runs, muscle building workouts, chiropractic-approved exercises and stretches, any leg sports. Invest in skincare and dental care. Write down things like goals, tasks list, and self development notes. Watch things that motivate you and light you up, acknowledge how far you’ve come.

Aquarius/11th house - ankles, calfs, achilles, circulatory system 

— Can be very future focused, so do protect your hopes and find an outlet to express them but enjoy the present as it is. Add water-rich foods to your diet, foods that help the blood flow like fatty fish, avocados and other circulation boosters or supplements. Exercises that improve circulation like jogging, cycling, cardio, dancing, swimming. Find ways to express your ideas of the world and fantasies, music can put you in that creative energy, meditation, talking to a friend. Take a long bath, light some candles, write down your ideas, your hopes and dreams, your thoughts and what you're grateful for. 

Pisces/12th house - feet, toes, pineal gland, lymphatic system 

— Can also be spacey and future focused so any self expression activities can help that energy flow. Choose foods that help maintain your body fluid balance, water-rich foods, leafy veggies, omega 3 rich foods, and supplements that boost lymphatic drainage. Avoid foods that drain your lymphatic system. Find hobbies that light you up, listen to music, paint, be creative. Nature walks, swimming, cardio, cycling, dancing. Taking frequent baths and soaking your feet in soap and epsom salt water can release stress from the feet area, grounding activities, reflecting, journaling and writing down your hopes and thoughts.

✧ PLANETS

Sun - heart, head, spine, spinal cord, eyes — can influence vitality, heart function, headaches, fever, eyesight.. etc

Moon - stomach, breast, lungs, blood circulation, body fluids — can influence colds, blood flow, dehydration, stomach issues.

Mercury - nervous system, ears, mouth, skin — can influence ear problems, mental illness, restlessness, breathing issues.

Venus - face, cheeks, throat, bladder, skin —  can influence skin issues, bladder infections, throat issues, carbs and sugar balance. 

Mars - chest, muscles, blood, genitals — can influence accidents, wounds, muscles weakness, energy levels, genital diseases.

Jupiter - liver, kidneys, pancreas, thighs — can influence cholesterol issues, fatty liver, toxins overload, diabetes, kidneys issues.

Saturn - bones, teeth, hair, legs, joints, knees — can influence knee or joint problems, dental problems, wisdom teeth, bone diseases, hair loss.

Note that these are just suggestions that I hope remind you and inspire you to listen to your body and take good care of it, discern, do your research and take only what works for you. much love 🫶

[sofoulandfairaday]

Also got any sev ones?

If I have any Severus Snape headcanons? I think I might have to put this one under the cut bby, it's going to be loooong. Edit: it got severely out of hand, be warned this is insanely long.

BUT FIRST: this is a very long but extremely well-written meta about the Snapes' peculiar type of poverty that you should all read when you have time. Like, save it for later somewhere or whatever, but seriously. Do yourself a favour.

Some people like to headcanon Remus Lupin (!) as the Hogwarts drug dealer. Nu-uh. That's Snape. Severus, for the right price, can and will provide you with any kind of potion (assuming he can steal the ingredients from the supply closet/his fancy pureblood housemates can get him whatever he needs). See this post.

But it's not just potions. He'll write your essays for money (his prices go up as the years go by, but so does his credibility). Snape is the only reason Avery ever passed 4th year Transfiguration.

Until his 6th/7th year, when he was no longer friends with Lily and started expressing a vocal desire to join the Death Eaters, he wasn't accepted or popular in Slytherin House.

Avery and Mulciber, the only people who could be considered his friends, were still pretty classist and racist towards him and even then he only got to be part of their little circle because he knew more curses when he arrived at Hogwarts than half the kids in seventh year.

You see, he wasn't just a Halfblood (they have those in Slytherin), he was also dirt poor, and pretty rough around the edges. He wasn't refined, he swore like a sailor, he was classless, and “dirty” and had worn-out clothes and second-hand books, he was canonically ugly and twitchy as a child, and Sirius (who is still from the very elegant, very posh Black Family) describes him as a little oddball.

Never mind the suave adult Snape (who is very different in the books and in the movies, anyway). My man Eliza Doolittle-ed himself. He did a Tom Riddle.

But he was powerful enough that the hazing and bullying inside his own House stopped almost immediately when he got there. You despised Snape? Fine. You attacked Snape? Suddenly your pet cat has been poisoned and your kneecaps were jinxed backwards.

Also, Lucius Malfoy promptly singled him out, and while he was still in school (Sev's first and second year) he did what he could to shield him, and to make him just a little more credible and refined in Slytherin. Severus followed him around like a little puppy and definitely acted a bit like an errand boy for him and his friends, which is also part of the reason why Sirius calls him Lucius Malfoy's lapdog in OotP. I wouldn't say they were really friends though. He knew them, and maybe they liked him, but he wasn't their equal.

Unfortunately, the Marauders' bullying only got worse as the years went by, and Lucius had graduated by the time SWM happened (I think that and the Prank were the worst, but I also like the headcanon that they were not. That Snape put that particular memory in the Pensieve because it was the time he lost Lily, not because it was the worst time he was bullied by them. From the way he reacted to their attack, this level of viciousness was probably common. By the way, even if you dislike him as a character, if you deny that what he suffered at the hands of the Marauders was vile, I don't know what to tell you.)

I wouldn't say a good rapport with Narcissa Black - because why would a girl from the upper years hang out with a boy from the first three? - but she would be kind to him, and chat politely sometimes. She was impressed with him - the first Halfblood she had ever given the time of day to.

Do you know who wasn't (lol)? Bellatrix. Who had graduated years before and just could not understand why Narcissa and Lucius would be so fond of this little scrawny upjumped Halfblood.

With the exception of Andromeda (who doesn't know who he is) and Narcissa (who really likes him), all of the Blacks hate Snape. Regulus doesn't hate him per se but thinks him unrefined and overreaching and they also have a bit of a not-so-friendly competition going on even though they come from different years. Sirius and Bella... well, you know. (credit: @hxuse-xf-black, I think this hc is theirs)

One of my favourite headcanons is that the last Black family event Sirius ever attended was Narcissa's wedding (1976) [the last one Andy ever attended was Bellatrix's (1972)]. He was there as the bride's cousin, obviously. But but but. Snivellus Snape was also there, as the groom's best man (alongside Evan Rosier and Rodolphus Lestrange). The two almost get into a Muggle brawl, and an enraged Bellatrix is the one who has to separate them (how dare you try to ruin Cissy's big day?!). She would have happily let them kill each other on any other occasion, but that was her little (only) sister's wedding and she very violently cursed them both.

Started smoking cigarettes when he was young and never really stopped.

What tea does Snape drink?

Bad personal hygiene since he was a boy, especially in his periods of worst depression. Paradoxically, he was at his most groomed during his Death Eater years (1978-1981) because he had to deal daily with the likes of Lucius Malfoy and Rodolphus Lestrange, who might have been domestic terrorists but had standards.

Speaking of which. Bella hates him. I still have to decide how Rodolphus feels about him (Rod definitely defends him when the two of them are having a row, just to piss her off, but I don't know how he actually feels). I think they had slightly different social circles. As Sirius says, they were all - at different points in time - part of a gang of baby Death Eaters in school. But I see Bella & Rod as very close with Rabastan, and Rabastan as very close to Barty (the four of them even tortured the Longbottoms together, which means they definitely talked to each other in the very hectic days after Voldemort's downfall). In my headcanons Barty and Regulus are glued at the hip, so basically that's the five of them already.

It was a period of brilliant students for Hogwarts, nothing like Harry's time. James and Sirius were prodigies, Regulus gives me mad scientist vibes (also, he must have been knowledgeable in the Dark Arts seeing as he figured out about Voldemort's Horcruxes in no time), Barty brought home twelve O.W.L.S. (how?), and Snape was inventing curses.

The latter three were tentative allies in school, but Barty&Reg (who definitely had something going on if you know what I mean), pureblood and proper, with all of the entitlement that must have come from their bloodlines and talent, definitely were not his fans.

No one could understand his fixation with “that Mudblood” (Lily); Lucius was particularly overjoyed when he heard of their falling out. (This came back to bite him in the ass when he was the one who had to physically drag him out of his house, at Spinner's End, after she died and he was determined to rot and kill himself with alcohol.)

Cat person. But never owned any pets because he could not keep one alive. Except of course when he owned a rat... err... I mean, when Peter lived with him.

I am convinced the man took stimulants. Whatever the equivalent of wizard cocaine was (probably a potion he made himself, with minimal comedown and as little side effects on the body as he can), he took. He seems to spend his nights patrolling the corridors and his days teaching, so when does he sleep?

Extremely light sleeper anyway.

Can go without eating for a long time.

He is the personification of self-loathing.

I can see him self-harming in different ways. He denies himself the small pleasures of life, he smokes until his throat burns and his lungs hurt, and insists that he works best without protective gloves (more sensitivity or whatever) which means that his hands are covered in small cuts and stains from corrosive (possibly painful) potions.

Does whatever he can to look as little like his father as possible, whether that be growing a beard, or gaining weight, or cutting his hair.

He maintains that learning Occlumency saved his life. Legilimency is about control, and even that not-so-hidden sadistic part of him, and also the self-protection that comes from knowing your opponent's moves before they can strike. But Occlumency and the sort of meditative bliss that comes from Occluding heavily was an integral part of his transformation, and very definitely helped with the very obvious anxiety that plagued him as a boy. It's yoga + good weed at the same time. That's the feeling.

The Lily thing. Part of it was romantic but in the light I-am-thirteen-and-have-a-crush-on-my-best-friend type of way. He definitely thought he was in love with her when he was sixteen/seventeen, after they had cut ties, and that's how he explained it to Voldemort, too (and that's how Voldemort explains it to Harry - he desired her). But. Truthfully? No. After a while, and especially after her death, it wasn't about the love he felt for her, it was about the debt he owed her. She was the first person to be kind to him, and he betrayed her. Directly caused her death, and sold her to the most evil wizard in history. Whether you love someone romantically or platonically, being responsible for their death, or leaving a child as an orphan takes a toll on your psyche that's almost impossible for me to comprehend or explain. Imagine the level of guilt that he felt. She was his first friend, his first crush, his first everything. And his love for her was the love Dante felt for Beatrice, the love that moves the sun and the other stars. I hate it when they reduce it to “he just wanted to bang Harry's mom haha”.

With that being said, Snily is probably the most boring Severus ship of all.

Never planned for the future. He honestly didn't think he would survive the war; his character is pretty much doomed by the narrative, and I am convinced that the only thing that kept him going was fulfilling his promise to Dumbledore, taking down the Dark Lord. He always thought Voldemort would eventually discover he was a spy and kill him for it. And as sad as it is (and that's why I love those kinds of fanfics!) I cannot see him ever adapting to a post-Voldemort world. It would take a lot of work on himself for him to find peace and I don't think he loved himself enough for that. I don't think he wanted to live.

Also, while I love the fanfics where he eventually makes up with Harry, and they have a civil relationship, I cannot see it happening in canon.

The narrative draws very explicit parallels between Snape and Voldemort, there are so many (but not limited to): the social class they come from, their blood status, the abuse they face as children, this iconic line which is one of my favourites in the whole series: But he was home. Hogwarts was the first and best home he had known. He and Voldemort and Snape, the abandoned boys, had all found home here, the details we can infer of their relationship with Dumbledore when they were still students, the transformation they operated on themselves to become more polished, their interests (both of them invent curses and the like), the way they identify with their mothers' heritages, their dynamic is extremely interesting to me.

My headcanon is that Snape was one of the few people Voldemort actually liked (and perhaps he saw himself in), which would explain why he doesn't heed Bella's advice about him. Of course, it was a very tepid intellectual appreciation (just a tad warmer than his - very cold - expression of regret at having to kill him in the Shrieking Shack), but it was there. I think they had a teacher-student dynamic which doesn't get explored enough but was clearly there: Voldemort teaches Snape how to fly without a broom; he is reportedly the only Death Eater to whom he teaches this. I think Snape was absolutely fascinated with LV in the beginning and climbed through the ranks impressively quickly. Just as rapidly (maybe more) as purebloods Regulus Black (whose cousin was LV's right-hand woman and possible mistress) and Barty Crouch (who would have been an asset seeing his father's position). Keep in mind these guys weren't even 20 years old and had all met Voldemort personally, probably more than once. They would have been part of his inner circle.

I can see Voldemort appreciating Snape's interest in magic, especially his academic interest. I think it's especially fascinating if compared to Voldemort's relationship with Bellatrix (who was the opposite of Snape in every sense): I think someone like Voldemort would be attracted to someone like Bellatrix (rich, pure of blood, self-assured, inhabiting a world built for her, etc.) but on the other hand he would also resent her for these very things that were her prerogative, and not his. On the other hand, Snape would understand him on a personal level, he would simply get some of Voldemort's lived experiences (and personality, let's be real) in a way his other Death Eaters wouldn't. But, because he still represents his past in a way (and hasn't remade himself quite yet), Voldemort would also view him with contempt. (And a great deal of superiority, but he's like that with everyone).

Snape doesn't join the Death Eaters because of the Cause. I can see him hating Muggles and perhaps looking down on Muggle-borns, but I don't think of him as a convinced pureblood elitist in the way the Lestranges and Malfoys were. He joined for power. He wanted revenge, and he wanted to feel powerful and important in a world that would make him feel small (part of the reasoning behind Bellatrix's joining in my headcanons), which makes him much hungrier than his peers, which would make him stand out to Voldemort.

His invention of the Sectumsempra spell and its counter-curse is extremely impressive, even Bella had to recognize this when she found out, and she demanded it be taught to the younger recruits, (but really to herself).

Hates summer like no one else has ever hated summer.

Helped with Draco's conception. I headcanon that Narcissa had fertility problems (this extends, for me, to most women of the Black family) and Severus helped her and Lucius with it. (This hc isn't mine, but I love it to death.)

Any and all silly headcanons about Snape teaching sex ed, dealing with periods, etc give me life. You've all read them though, so I won't repeat them.

Worked as a potioneer for Voldemort too, perhaps alongside someone who was even better than him (older, more knowledgeable). The things he learned turned out to be super useful to him in the future.

His favourite food is fish and chips, or something equally proletarian, like beans on toast... that sort of thing.

Detested living with Pettigrew (and I hc that Voldemort did it as a form of cruel punishment: he's forced to live with - offer shelter to - the man who caused Lily's death).

Because I like angst, I really like the idea that the person he was closest with, in the entirety of the Hogwarts staff (except maybe for Dumbledore) wasn't McGonagall, it was Charity Burbage. I need more fics with an in-depth exploration of their relationship (whether it be romantic or platonic) because it has amazing potential, both for angst and fluff.

Idk how anyone can ship Snily when these two are right there

Also, she would be the second woman Severus loves that Voldemort has killed. This time it's even worse.

I doubt he could ever have had a functioning relationship with her (or any other woman, or person), because what flesh-and-blood woman could ever beat the lamented and idolised spirit of Lily Evans? She would stand no chance. Again, this makes it worse.

I'm going to stop here because this is getting embarrassing. Kudos to you if you got to the end of this.

Headcanons: James | Sirius | Remus | Lily

[n0v4t33z]

The Syndicate - Chapter 6 : Un-Killable

Pairings: Choi San X Female Reader, Park Seonghwa X Female Reader, Ateez X Female Reader

Genre: Lots of angst, Romance, Crime Fiction, Psychological Drama

Word Count: 5.8k

Tags/Warnings: For Mature Audiences, Language, Graphic Violence, Mentions of Illegal activities (i.e Kidnapping, extortion, assassination etc.), y/n gets roughed up by Wooyoung like twice , Slow Burn, Fluff sometimes, Work In Progress, Non-Idol AU, Mafia AU, Very suggestive at times, y/n cries alot, y/n having inner turmoil, Ateez being bad boys, Wooyoung and Yeosang are a little mean in this story tbh, Guns, Gunshot wounds, Assassination attempt(s), mentions death and acts of violence

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

Spotify Playlist🎵 | Series Masterlist📝

Author's Note 💌: Hi, It's been about two weeks since I posted the last chapter so I'm here to keep my promise about posting at least twice every month! Unfortunately I didn't realize how short this chapter actually is. Either way it's a good one though, there are also some parts I may fix and add onto later since I'm posting this close to 2 am and I'm exhausted so I hope you guys still enjoy it either way! ^^

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆.

A whole 2 months passes by and I notice San has become somewhat distant and has been spending most of the time either in his office by himself or in the conference room with the rest of the guys. Although Seonghwa, Jongho, Yunho and Mingi still interact with me they become very vague anytime I ask them about San. There were a few occasions where I wanted to try and see what exactly they were talking about but because there's always a goon outside the door now keeping a lookout so I could never get close enough to hear. One day I asked Seonghwa why they spent so much time in the conference room and the only thing he told me is "We're sorting things out." As for me, this whole time after I ran the 3 people’s names in the police database and nothing came up I realized these people are basically ghosts with no paper trails on the database meaning I’ve been having to investigate on foot and tailing them. The only thing San left for me as a place of reference and a place to start was a club on the east side of the city which actually turned out to be a club named "Enigma" that they own under a fake identity but another thing San left on the note is that these 3 people are brothers who run an underground black market out of it. So far everything is fine with them, no meetings with any other rival groups. If anything, these brothers definitely know how to treat their allies by providing them with weapons and other resources that are otherwise considered inaccessible to which I'm assuming this is the reason San wants to work with them. Which leads me to where I am right now, heading home after a long couple of days of consecutively tailing and observing these people. What's been really weird is that San called me at least once everyday to check in on me in the beginning but it's been 2 weeks and nothing. I sigh while I look at the dark road ahead of me, taking in the scene of complete emptiness with a beautifully glittery night sky which left me feeling a bit emotional. I slowly begin to tighten my grip on the steering wheel. I’ve had so many chances to leave but why aren’t I taking them? Have I seriously grown attached?

I reach for my phone and very anxiously I glance at the screen while I keep my eyes on the road and look at my recent calls, the last time I called San was two days ago. I stare at his name on my screen for a few seconds and decide to just hit the call button. The ringing starts and by the 4th ring I'm sent to voicemail immediately making my heart sink. He didn't answer, again. My vision begins to blur the bright headlights and the road ahead of me slightly begins to distort until warm tears stream down my cheeks then I let out a small sigh “Why? What did you do to me?” Why do I have to make things more difficult for myself? The original plan was to have San trust me enough to let me leave his headquarters, but now that he's given me that permission I can't seem to leave. Why?

I try to compose myself and wipe my tears away with one hand while I keep my other hand on the steering wheel. In the distance I see the headquarters, and realize that most of the drive home I spent it worrying about him and questioning myself. When I arrive I walk inside headquarters I notice it seems empty, and by empty I mean too quiet. There's almost always someone in the building, whether it's Seonghwa drinking his tea in the lounge, Hongjoong on his computer in the server room, Wooyoung playing cards with Mingi, Yeosang and Yunho in the living room, even Jongho's occasional little breaks after he's been working all afternoon. So when I walk over to the lounge and notice it's completely empty my stomach feels like it flipped upside down. Where is everyone? I walk around the building and no one was there except of course the goons who keep watch on the building 24/7 now so I decide I'm going to just ask one of them as to why it's so empty because this is weird.

There’s a very tall and heavy build goon outside of San's office, he was so scary looking. Although his suit made him look a little less scary. "Um excuse me but where is everyone? Why is it so empty here?" Without flinching the man simply responds with "They're sorting out a few things they'll be back soon Miss y/n." I exhale then I run my fingers through my loosely curled hair "Okay yes, but where are they? What are they doing?" Keeping a straight face without even looking at me he responds "I'm sorry Miss y/n but that's all I know." I narrow my eyes in disbelief. Does he really think I’m that stupid? "That can't be, you have to know where they are. You were given orders by San not to tell me anything weren't you?" The man stands there looking straight ahead pretending he didn't hear me. I look at him for a few seconds more waiting if he'll say anything but he never does then I clench my jaw and say through my teeth "Fine, I'll take that as a yes." I scoff and walk away to my room, when I get there I throw myself onto my bed. I lay there in bed for a few minutes until I fall asleep.

A few hours later I hear commotion downstairs, it was San and the guys. ”I’m exhausted. Now all we need is to kill that old bastard.” Wooyoung comments. ”Well at least we’re done now, I thought it was going to take a lot longer to pull this off.” Hongjoong responds. I look over at the clock and it was around 4 am then I get up and hurriedly head downstairs and notice they’re all dressed in black like they were in a robbery of some sort. All the talking stops and becomes dead silent when everyone notices I’m in the room then Seonghwa walks towards me and nervously smiles “Hey, what are you doing here? Weren’t you on an errand?” I shrug with a straight face “I just got back a few hours ago, what about you guys? Why’s everyone dressed like this? Did I miss something?” San walks up to me and pats my back and smiles “Nothing, we just went to go handle something don’t worry about it.” I furrow my brows and look directly into San’s eyes “Let me guess you still went even after I told you not to…” San shakes his head and reassuringly pats my head “Didn’t we agree to forget about this? I said I wasn’t going to..” Seonghwa, MIngi, and Yunho look over at San with a very odd facial expression then Wooyoung says “You have your jobs and we have ours. San’s allowed to do what he wants it’s not like you’re his girlfriend.” I slowly nod and give Wooyoung and San a fake smile “Of course, you’re right. I was just wondering considering I've barely seen any of you at all I was just a bit worried.” Yeosang stares right at me with a deadpan face “Why do you even care? It’s not like we’re your friends.” Gosh, I know he’s right but wow that hurt. San's expression grows dark and Seonghwa puts his hand on Yeosang’s shoulder causing him to ease up a bit then I let out a frustrated sigh. Here we go again. “Well, maybe you might not be my friend but if you haven’t noticed there are other people I am friends with.” Wooyoung lets out a mocking laugh “Oh really? They’re your friends? If they were your friends they would have told you what was going on but clearly no one trusts you. You’ve only been here like what? 3 or 4 months and you already want to be let in on everything we do? Sounds just about right for an entitled cop.” San pushes Wooyoung and angrily says “Can you ever shut up?!” Yunho and Jongho rush over to separate them, Yunho holding San and Jongho holds Wooyoung respectively. As much as I’d love to be petty with Wooyoung and drop the bomb on San that his best friend thought it was a great idea to nearly kill me, I’ll keep that to myself. All in due time I guess. I don’t want to create anymore issues for these people. I bite the inside of my cheek trying to recover from that verbal jab. This is embarrassing, maybe Wooyoung is right they do have a right for not trusting me. Just because I gave them access to all these things doesn’t mean anything, for all they know I could be leading them to a trap so I don’t blame them for not trusting me. San angrily stares at Wooyoung "Oh come on San, calm down. I was just expressing everything in everyone's mind." Wooyoung fights back a smirk and San tries to reach over to him causing Yunho to tighten his grip on him.

"You don't speak for everyone here." Seonghwa speaks up looking directly at me reassuringly. Jongho speaks from behind Wooyoung "I agree with San and Seonghwa. You really don't speak for everyone here." Hongjoong sighs and nods "She's not so bad Wooyoung. You know this. You're just being hard headed and paranoid over this situation not to mention overtly territorial over San." Wooyoung lets out a laugh "Me paranoid?! Territorrial?! I know what these cops are capable of doing?! Did you guys forget what happened to San's father?! They easily get into your head and mess with it, they're master manipulators just like Lee. She's just like him and I'm only trying to protect him from things repeating themselves." There's a long silence, evreyone awkwardly looking at eachother. That's when I step in between San and Wooyoung causing evreyone's gaze to shift over to me. I slightly part my lips to speak but then a knot grows in my throat and press them shut. Maybe it's a good idea not to say anything right now and keep the peace. All this fighting isn't going to be worth it in the end. I can't change someone's mind whose already been made. Wooyoung can think anything he wants, I just don't want to hear it anymore. I turn my back to them and walk in the direction of my room.

In the distance I hear Yunho say “Come back just give her some time alone.” followed by fast paced footsteps until a few moments later I feel someone grab my wrist then I look back and it was San. He gently tugs my arm closer to him and I look down still slightly embarrassed for running off in a cowardly way. “y/n, wait… I’m sorry some of them haven’t warmed up to you but I promise it’s not your fault. I know you were just worried.” Beginning to feel drained I shake my head “I’m exhausted, we can talk tomorrow. Right now I just want to be alone.” San gently pushes back a few strands of hair “I understand, but please pay no attention to them especially Wooyoung. Nothing he says has an ounce of truth. I need you here with me, remember that.” I let go of San’s hand and walk towards my room leaving him behind me. When I walk into my room I lay there silently for a few moments until warm tears begin to sting my eyes. Once I get rid of Captain Lee I’m going to leave this place despite how deeply in love I am, or at least try to. I can’t keep putting myself through this.

The next morning while laying in bed I hear Wooyoung shouting in a panicked voice from outside in the hallway “San, they took down all security!” I sit up and quickly change clothes while listening closely to the commotion in the hallways, from what it sounds like someone took down the people guarding the HQ gates which is still kind of far considering we’re in the middle of nowhere. Suddenly San barges into my room with a slightly worried expression and says “y/n, the cops are on their way as we speak. Burn everything you can, everything on your computer wipe it and burn it too.” He hands me a gasoline can and some matches and pats my head “Everything will be okay I promise.” He smiles nervously and before he can walk away I pull on the sleeve of his rolled up dress shirt “Why are the cops coming? Is it because of what you guys were doing earlier today?” San’s smile disappears into a straight line and a serious expression then he runs his fingers through his hair “Please don’t get mad, I know you said you didn’t want me to follow through with breaking into the evidence room but I went ahead and did it anyway. I’m sorry. I genuinely thought everything went well I swear I made sure no one followed us but I guess I was wrong.”

I clench my free hand to the point my knuckles turn white. The silence between us lasted as a long instant, and while the anger welled up in my chest. He was looking at me with his gaze of expectation for me to simply forgive him and move on but as of right now I can’t. I won't. Instead it pisses me off because it seems like everything I tell him Is being ignored. Everything that’s happening right now was because of him but what do I expect from a criminal anyway? If anything I shouldn’t even be surprised, I should have known he was going to pull something like this. I raise my hand back and throw my hand forward as hard as I can, whipping it across his face. The crack of skin contacting skin echoed off the metal walls of my room. His face then turns back to me while he slowly runs his hand along his cheek and without another word I walk away. Part of me knows and is well aware I’m running away from my problems but at the moment I was more focused on escaping the police and wiping the computer of any evidence, I can’t get caught now. Nobody can find out I was kept alive.

I run into my work room and over to the computer and begin trying to reimage it to delete all the data on the hard drive then the screen shows a percentage bar and on the bottom of it read “Time Remaining: 35 minutes” I rub my forehead in frustration and grab the tower of the computer, toss it across the room a few times until it eventually splits open then I grab the can of gasoline and pour most of it on the motherboard and the hard drive. I pull out a match from the match box in my pocket and light it then flick it directly inside the computer case immediately igniting a huge fire. After burning a few papers and files I head down the hallway and I notice Yeosang looking out the window and calmly loading his gun while gazing into the distance then I realize he was looking at the various police cars, a helicopter and a few SWAT vehicles getting in position. Someone taps my shoulder and when I turn it was Mingi, he hands me a gun and says “Good luck” I nod taking the gun making sure there was ammo “Same to you.” Out of seemingly nowhere Yeosang begins to shoot causing me to slightly jump. San immediately runs out of his office with a gun in hand then he grabs my hand and leads me downstairs towards the back exit. “We’re going to head outside, there’s a secret escape route I built in the forest so I hope you have your walking shoes on because it’s going to be a long walk.” While he opens the door I say “Where’s everyone else?” He peaks outside and says “Mingi and Yeosang are going to buy us time. Everyone else is already in the forest.” Suddenly Wooyoung runs up behind us and pats San’s shoulder. “Everything is clear, lower associates were sent to distract the feds.” San nods and says “Did you turn on the self destruct device in the server room?” Wooyoung nods and smirks “Yep, everything is in order.” He steps outside in front of San and hides behind a car outside then motions us to follow behind him and just a few seconds after giving us the signal he motions us to stop and stay low. Then I hear a familiar voice.

“Let the girl go Choi San…” My stomach drops and I look up and see that In the helicopter was my partner Detective Chris and Captain Lee looking over his shoulder and right next to them was a sniper. I tightly squeeze his hand and San turns and looks at me “You’ll be okay, worst case is they’ll shoot me and not you.” Captain Lee speaks into the mega phone and says “Give it up son, you lost and it was all because you’re so reckless. You got so sloppy but don’t worry though I’ll clean the mess you left and I’ll start by shooting your little friend over here.” The red laser from the sniper’s gun points right at Wooyoung’s head “And then you.” Wooyoung looks at San and slightly nods and begins to run towards the forest. Almost instantly he gets shot in the chest instead from the sudden movement. His body falls limply on his side while he clutches onto his chest and struggles to breathe. My stomach drops and San lets out a scream calling out Wooyoung’s name with tears welling up in his eyes in anger “I’m going to kill you bastard!!” I clutch onto San's arm holding the gun in my other hand tightly with my eyes blurring with tears. Captain Lee smirks “You know what, I take it back. I won’t shoot you that’s letting you off easy...I want you to suffer by watching all your little mobster trash die.”

Seeing Wooyoung on the ground didn’t bring me satisfaction, instead I begin to cry at the sight of his breathing slowing down. Despite everything he’s done to me I couldn’t let San suffer again, as angry and pissed off as I am with him right now for putting us in this situation he doesn’t deserve to lose his bestfriend. Wooyoung needed help and fast but the only way to get him that help is if I turn myself in and somehow convince them to step back. I hate the idea that I won't have that anonymity anymore but this is a matter of life or death. If I can prevent someone from dying then I'm sure it'll be worth it no matter how painful it is. Suddenly, an idea pops up in my head, it was one I really didn't want to do but my only hope is that it all goes smoothly. I step in front of San with my back facing the helicopter which causes San to pull me closer to him into a hug. i gently press the barrel of the gun I have onto his stomach and he leans in close to my ear and whispers “What are you doing angel eyes? Whatever is going on in that little head of yours just stop, I don’t want you to get hurt. Please.” He sniffles burying his face in my hair trying to hide the fact that he was slightly teary eyed “Sannie, do you trust me?” He talks into my neck “Yes of course I trust you.” Staying still and keeping my voice calm I say “Keep your head down and shoot the sniper.” His voice goes an octave higher while keeping his head down buried into my neck and says “What?! Why?!” Keeping my calm I press the gun a little more onto his stomach “Do it. Shoot the sniper, trust me.” From the corner of my eye I see San’s arm go up and shoot in the sniper’s direction and as soon as he shoots I move just a bit to where the sniper’s bullet hits my right shoulder. I let out a scream in agonizing pain from the impact of the hot metal burning deep in my shoulder causes me to slightly jerk forward and drop the gun in my hand. I push San with the strength from the adrenaline coursing through my veins back into the building and I run towards the helicopter while I clutch onto my shoulder with tears in my eyes. This was all for nothing, so much for getting rid of this man from the shadows.

“There’s a bomb in there! Please Captain Lee, Chris we have to get out of here and remove everyone from the perimeter!” I look back and see San was no longer in the doorway, both Chris and Captain Lee look at me in awe then look at each other a few seconds. Eventually Chris lets down a ladder, helps me climb up and sit down. He sits next to me and looks over at Captain Lee “Captain, we have to take her to the hospital now!” I lay there growing more exhausted by the second due to blood loss until I manage to mutter “Captain, remove everyone from this perimeter now or we’re all going to die.” Chris looks at me and shakes his head while he keeps pressure on my wound “No, we can’t. We have a warrant for San’s arrest we can’t just let him escape” I grab Chris’s forearm and squeeze it from the pain and slight impatience “Trust me, I know he’s going to fuck up again this won’t be the last time. The bomb, please. We have to get out of here we don’t have much time left..” Chris turns to Captain Lee giving him a worried look then Captain Lee looks down at the building for a few moments that felt like an eternity and eventually looks over at me and Chris “Alright, but only because I trust Detective y/ln and know she’ll be able to catch this scum again.” He looks over at the pilot and says “Take us to the nearest hospital please.”

He speaks into his radio “We’ve got a code 4, change of plans, we found Detective y/n y/ln alive and well. Clear the area, over.” Is he really going to act like he didn’t leave me for dead? Is this a favor that later on he’s going to try to use as leverage to somehow blackmail me? A voice answers back on the radio “Disregarding, all units will return back to the station. Over.” I did it, but this was too easy… Luckily the server room self distructing came in handy so technically I wasn’t lying. Chri’s voice interrupts my thoughts and says “So you’re alive? I’m so glad you’re okay but how? I saw your dead body, how is that possible?” I struggle to breathe then I sit there focusing on my breaths until Captain Lee sits next to the seat where Chris and I were sitting and says “Detective Bang stop asking her questions, can’t you see she has a bullet inside her?” Chris’s voice slightly shakes a bit and says “I’m sorry sir, I’m just in shock she’s alive. I saw her charred body, her police badge, everything." I feel my eyes slowly begin to close, my consciousness felt like it was slipping away until everything goes dark.

When I wake up, I scan the room and realize I'm at the hospital. That’s when it all comes back to me, I hope San is okay and he managed to escape along with everyone else. Especially Wooyoung, I really hope he made it as well. I turn and notice Chris is asleep then In a low whisper I say “Chris?” Immediately I see Chris sit up and say “Oh hey y/ln you’re up, how are you feeling?” I nod my head slightly and look down at the IV needle in my hand while he proceeds to talk “I’m so glad it wasn't anything serious, I waited for you to wake up and ask if you wanted to see your family. I’m sure you miss them. I didn’t call them right away since I didn’t want you to be overwhelmed.” I shake my head and I say in a low voice “Don’t tell them I’m alive... Please.” Chris furrows his brows and gives me an odd look “Why not?” I stare off into the distance trying not to make eye contact with him “Promise me you won’t tell anyone especially Captain Lee.”

Chris leans in close to me then I lean in a bit more and whisper “I’m going to run away. I think it’s best for me to disappear considering AS is going after me and I don’t want my family to get killed.” I still can’t believe I’m lying through my teeth, who am I trying to save? San or me? Maybe both. Chris responds in a worried tone “It’s okay we can get you into the Witness Protection Program., you can get your life back.” I sigh and shake my head “No Chris, I’m doing this without the help of the government or the police.” Chris’s jaw tenses up and sits there looking at the ground for a few seconds. “Please, don’t tell anyone Chris. Promise me. You also have to make sure Captain Lee doesn’t release the news of me being alive to the media as this is going to make it even harder for me.” He lifts his gaze and meets my eyes and smiles “Of course I promise, we’re partners after all. We’re under oath to protect one another but promise, you’ll reach out to me occasionally. I just want to make sure you’re alive and well.” I nod then I sit up “Of course as long as you keep my existence a secret, but I do have one more thing to tell you and this one is much more serious because it’s about Captain Lee.” I hope he doesn’t tell him, but who else can I trust? Besides having someone to lean on he might be of help. He scrunches his face in curiosity then looks at the door “What about him? Is it something bad?” I bite the inside of my lip then I take a deep breath and blurt out “Captain Lee works for The Obsidian Dragon, Aurora Syndicate’s rival. I know this because I saw a whole file documenting him being associated with the mafia with pictures and everything.” Chris smirks holding in a small laugh “What? Are you sure that’s not the morphine talking? Why would he even work for the mafia to begin with?” Oh no, he’s asking questions. “He was a close friend of the Choi family, specifically The Phantom. He’s the reason that the whole shootout happened, he sold The Phantom’s location in exchange for money.” Chris’ hand reaches up to his mouth then says “Wait what? So he knew who was behind all of that? No wonder he would always breathe down our necks and constantly check the leads. How much was he given?” I tap my finger on my chin “50 grand if I remember correctly.” He blinks in shock then says “Okay wow that’s quite a bit of money. Yeah, I get why you’re in a hurry to hide. You know too much.” And I know so much more but I can’t tell you the rest.

“Yep..” There was a long silence but Chris clears his throat and says “So uh I have a question and it’s kind of random...Why was San holding you like that?” I raise my eyebrow “How so? What do you mean?” He rests his cheek on his hand “You know like weirdly close, like he had a thing for you. His hand around your waist.” I shrug and look out the window “I don’t know, maybe because he thought of me as an object more than a person. His meat shield.” Hopefully by telling him everything he wants to hear it’ll help me get him off my back, even if those said answers aren’t how I truly feel at all. He can’t find out I’m protecting San. From the corner of my eye I see Chris’s eyes move from looking at the door back to me “Did he ever do anything to you?” While looking out the window I run my finger along the IV tube “I don’t know I was drugged the majority of the time I was there, I can’t remember anything.” Chris puts his head down and rubs his forehead while gently tapping his foot on the floor “I swear to god y/n if he did anything to you…” I shake my head “Nah, despite how scary he is he never put his hands on me.” He raises an eyebrow “How do you know? You were drugged the whole time..” I look down at the dusty pink blanket on my body “Because he was the one who would make the beatings stop, besides I’m sure if he did anything to me my body would remember it. Instead I just remember that evreytime I was being beat he’d scold the person doing it.” That feeling, that pit in my stomach. My eyes well up with tears and Chris reaches for my hand “I’m sorry, I can’t talk about this. Just remembering it brings it all back” Chris nods giving me a reassuring hand squeeze “I’m sorry, we don’t have to talk about it anymore. You should rest, we'll talk about it later when you feel better.” He adjusts my pillow slightly so that I'm able to lay back a little bit again. "Thanks Chris, you should nap too. You look exhausted." He gives me a weak smile "I should be watching you. It's okay." I shake my head "I insist, it's kind of weird knowing you're just watching me sleep. A nap will most definitely not hurt you." He looks into the distance and slowly nods his head almost like he was thinking whether or not he should do it "Alright, if that makes you comfortable y/ln, just know if I hear the door open I will wake up.." I chuckle nervously "Yeah, I know" I hope he falls into a deep sleep otherwise I'm screwed.

A few hours later I wait until Chris is fast asleep in his seat then I begin taking the tubes and IV’s off of me and I put on my pants and shoes making sure I also take the phone San gave me. I look over and glance over at chris to make sure he was still asleep then I carefully open the door wide enough for me to slip out the hospital. Luckily because of the lack of use my phone still had battery so I enter a gas station restroom near the hospital and call San. I anxiously hold the phone to my ear while it rang a few times then on the other line San answers the phone and excitedly I say “San?!” In a surprised tone he answers “y/n?! Where are you? Are you okay?” Relieved to hear his voice again I say in a slight hushed tone “I’m at the gas station bathroom a few blocks from the hospital, I escaped but um what about Wooyoung, is he okay?” I anxiously brush my index finger over the smooth surface of the back of the phone while I wait for him to answer. “He’s fine now angel eyes. He got a pierced lung but he’ll be okay don’t worry.” I let out a sigh of relief and smile “I’m glad he’s okay. I’m glad your best friend is still here with you.” He exhales a bit before he admiringly says “He wouldn’t have been saved if it wasn’t for you and your quick thinking, I don’t know how you did it but I’m so thankful.” There’s a long silence then he continues “ Do you want me to send someone to pick you up?” Immediately I respond “Yes please, I want to get out of here before anyone notices I’m gone” San answers me reassuringly “Don’t worry I’ll send your location to the nearest Associate just hang tight okay? Their code word will be “snow”, I’ll see you in a bit angel eyes I love you.” I gently bite my lip " I love you too. Sannie” I hear San chuckle on the other side of the line and immediately after the line goes dead. I turn and see myself in the mirror and realize I was wearing my ugly hospital gown so I decide to turn it inside out and make a makeshift tie up shirt out of it.. After I finish I sit on the counter of the bathroom and not even 10 minutes later there’s a knock at the door. I stay silent until a deep voice says “Snow.” I jump off the counter and run to open the door and see an average build man with a buzz cut and tattoos and a dark blue track suit “y/n ?” I nod then he motions me to walk behind him and says “Come on, the boss asked me to take you where they’re in hiding.” I nod and follow him into a black average looking car with dark tinted windows, his car reeked of cigarettes and the seats were pretty worn out, a nice way to blend in. Smart.

After 2 hours of driving we arrive at a parking lot at an undisclosed area since I couldn't tell where exactly we were because of how dark it was, all I know it was far away from both Ulwood and Lulens but unlike the HQ last time this location was in a city. I get out of the car and follow the heavily tattooed man into a weird tattoo shop, the buzzing of the tattoo gun was the very first thing I hear when I enter. Everyone in there (which wasn’t alot) seemed to either not notice or not to care kind of like it was a regular occurrence here. So when we make it to the back I notice a black metal door with a key pad, and as soon as he punches in the code the door clicks open and he motions me to walk inside then closes the door behind me. Which reminds me of this tough pill to swallow, I am once again under San's mercy by coming back..

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆.

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[iamindebt]

Dussekar is an enegmatic and strange character, shrouded in mystery

[LONG POST INCOMING] [[like its massive]]

1st off, tell me if he EVER, at all , ONCE actively helps you

Chapter 1, Otempes does most of it

Chapter 2, Wiscara tags alongside you to take her scissors back and beats up herbrother ro do so

Chapter 3 you just go with Otempes, but THIS is when you meet Dussekar

Chapter 4 is primarily a solo mission, with Wiscara telling you where to go

Chapter 5 everyone tags along, EXCEPT Dussekar (put a pin in that for me)

Chapter 6, Tucker (who does not need to help) convinces you to take a more active approach instead of waiting for a problem to occur and then solving it (see chapters 1, 2, and 4)

Chapter 7 Base cleph and Otempes solve this, you coming along because Claire told you too.

Chapter 8 EVERYONE gets involved

...yeah hes not the defenition of a "team player".

2nd, Dussekar is just some guy, just some guy that got what he wanted because of a likely meaningless task

3rd, he seems to be apathetic or blatantly NOT CARE about scriptliss despite saying that he does. (put a note about the "apathetic part")

(from chapter 4)

D: ...So you have no idea who released you?

S: N-no... I couldnt see behind me because my entire body was chained... I have no idea who cut the chains either

(Dussekar glances to the paper ball chained to scriptliss's ankle)

D: Hmm... well it seems they missed a chain. And the clamp is tightly secured. Does it hurt to walk?

S: N-n-no... *sniff*

D: Whats the matter?

S: It's just that *sniff* You knew i was chained up... Didnt you?

D: Well... not quite. I heard some rumors. I knew your general whereabouts, but i had no idea you were actually chained up...

D: Im sorry for not going to check up on you sooner. I figured that, wherever you were, you'd be fine on your own.

S: But *sniff* Thats how we lost 1x1x1x1 to the void, too. You assumed that he was safe enough on his own...

D: Hey, can we change the subject? The protagonist is right over there.

S: Oh, hi! Didn't see you over there, Protagonist. Were're just chill out here. Isn't that right Dussekar?

D: Absolutely frigid.

S: Hah! What a Dussekar. Always cracking jokes.

(Nice save)

D: (Shhhh. Put a lid on it.)

This shows us a lot about the characters. Dussekar knew about rumors, meaning he forgot or didnt care to check on Scriptliss, who was IN HIS. WASTEBASKET.

Scriptliss does actually bring this up in their conversation (see red text), instead of confronting this or apologising for it, he changes the subject, focusing on protag.

Once scriptliss notices this he seems a lot more extroverted and friendly from his demeanor not even 5 seconds ago. Most likely scriptliss does not want anyone to find out what happened in pr2 but he does bring up some very good points.

There was no reason Dussekar should not have been able to check in on Scriptliss. Hes immortal, Dussekars immortal, his wastebasket is RIGHT THERE.

(seriously buddy, you cant spend 5 minutes to attempt to reconcile with you only remaining friend? he seems very willing now)

4th

(i would rewrite lanter and dussekars entire conversation but thats like rewriting the bloody bee movie script)

L: ...Are you even listening to yourself? You sound more like a tyrant than the god who you vanquished centuries ago. Just because someone stole your precious little plaything doesn't mean you have to fight so hard to get it back

D: The plotbook isnt a "plaything" its the reality we live in.

L: You truly are no different then the ancient gods who fought to protect everything they ruled over. Have you ever considered that Antagon might just be repeating your own history?

D: well, if you disagree with his actions as much as you disagree with mine, Why dont you go stop him yourself?!

L: Thats not the point. The point is, You need to see your actions from a different perspective before you draw definitive conclusions on people

D: Im well aware of how my actions affect others. I don't need anyone reminding me what the consequences of my actions are. I know exactly what ive done.

L: Alright then. What are you finally gonna do when you finally catch antagon? Surely your not going to send him to banland, are you? Hes just a kid, you know. Until recently, hes been living with his mother. What are you going to do then?

D: ...........

L: Hes just a younger version of you. Are you going to lash out at him when you finally get the plot book back?

D: ..............

L: Well?

idk man dussekar definitely looked like he was considering it. Its bad for antagon because hes a CHILD but its worse for scriptliss because hes immortal. like c'mon dude this is greek mythology levels of punishment.

why did he not try to revive tretone or tess,

major L moment right there

TLDR:

Dussekar as a character seems to show that he does not care about his old friend and has no issues with sending anyone he disagrees with to infinity jail.

it gets better after apologising about screaming at antagon and talking to scriptliss though :thumbs_up:

[whos-hotter-jjba]

Statistics: from Preliminary until 4th Round

Huge post alert, I got excited and put my 10 excel pages to good use and made graphs to see which parts are more or less favored in the polls! I am not considering the Second Chance Round in these analyses. All the graphs have alt text describing them (and giving numbers to things that are harder to read)! Please excuse my ugly excel graphs, I can't spare the time (or the effort) to make them in Python or a better graph program to be cute :(

So, this is an overview of how each part has been faring until the end of the 4th round.

Characters eliminated in the Prelim round didn't even make it into the main bracket, and haven't been considered for the Second Chances. Parts 3, 5 and 6 had a lot of eliminations in Prelim round, but since they're some of the parts with the most characters, they held their own. Part 3 in particular has a lot of less than memorable characters, so that's pretty much to be expected. Looking into the Prelim round specifically, we can see that, too:

Steel Ball Run had the most characters I felt the need to submit to preliminary checks, but it was also the part with the most characters to survive! Also, all the Battle Tendency characters in prelim round (George Joestar II and Mario Zeppeli, the dads) survived, which is kinda shocking. I also realized only much later that I never even added Stroheim to my list, because I mostly like to forget he exists, and it worked. So, uh, if there's any Stroheim fans here, sorry I guess?

First Round had a lot of characters from parts 5, 7 and mostly part 8 dying early on, but also a lot of characters from parts 4 and 5 surviving. Phantom Blood, Steel Ball Run, Jojolion and Jojolands lost the majority of their characters, but Phantom Blood and Jojolands had few characters to begin with.

We can already see (oh god why do I write like this is a report for college I'm sorry) that Battle Tendency has a tendency (haha) for surviving. Seriously, it's a part that loses minimally every round. But in Second Round, Jojolion loses its last characters. Don't worry, there's some of them fighting their way back in the Second Chance Round! But I did NOT see that coming. I thought at least Josuk8, Yasuho, Kaato and Jobin would have lived longer, but they were unlucky I suppose. Jojolands is barely hanging in there, too! Dragona is its last hope by this round.

A lot of parts are down to one character by the end of Third Round, and Dragona lost, in a shocking turn of events! Two parts are already out of the competition (without considering Second Chances), and Phantom Blood, Stardust Crusaders and Diamond is Unbreakable are holding all their hopes in Dio, Avdol and Jotaro respectively. It's kinda sad that Phantom Blood and Diamond is Unbreakable are holding all their hope in a character that could have been from another part, if they had lost a duplicate matchup right at the beginning.

And now, in Fourth Round, only five parts are still in the running, since Avdol and Jotaro lost (and, sadly, won't be coming back). Surprisingly, Battle Tendency (a part with very few characters) has been holding strong, being carried by Kars, Joseph, Caesar and Lisa Lisa (who lost only just now). Dio has been carrying Phantom Blood on his back for a while (we'll see if Erina or Jonathan come back to give him a hand), Bruno Bucciarati is the last hope for Vento Aureo, and Gyro Zeppeli survived a Steel Ball Run purge. Jolyne and Ermes managed to pass Fourth Round without any losses for Stone Ocean.

So, our survivors so far are:

Dio Brando (Phantom Blood)

Kars (Battle Tendency)

Joseph Joestar (Battle Tendency)

Caesar Zeppeli (Battle Tendency)

Bruno Bucciarati (Vento Aureo)

Jolyne Cujoh (Stone Ocean)

Ermes Costello (Stone Ocean)

Gyro Zeppeli (Steel Ball Run)

Good luck to your favorites, and until the next round! Let's find out who the ultimate Jojo hottie is <3

[the-ginger-is-loose-again]

Ive been thinking about this for a couple of days now, but I made the mistake of looking in the comments section of one of my favorite podcasts's episodes in spotify (Last Podcast on the Left)

The episode in question (Side Stories: Squirrel Stories) was recorded the day before election day and posted the day after, so they discussed the election and it was rather heartbreaking that they were pretty unconcerned because they were so confident that Kamala was going to win. At one point, they spend some time shit talking trump and right wingers, which is pretty par for the course for them

The comments were about 50/50. On one hand, right wingers crying that everyone was so mean to them and how lptol needed to stay out of politics and the other was normal people going "have you ever heard an episode of lpotl before? It's always been political, and always anti nazis" (I'll admit the earliest episodes are a little meh because they are three dudes living in New York in 2011 and like fresh off of 4-chan, but they, for the most, part learn and grow and are really good with the sensitive topics nowadays, not making fun of victums, knowing where in an episode is the time for jokes and where is the time for seriousness, while still being dudes fucking around and having fun doing their podcast together)

My comment is probably not going to pass review, but basically, it was so insane to me that all these guys were just openly showing how little they cared for the show or paid attention to it at all and obviously just liked the edgy impolite aesthetic and they got their wittle fascist fweewings hurt that the show that famously takes pleasure in shit talking right wing criminal dickbags is shit talking their right wing criminal dickbag leader

They literally dropped their The Manhatten Project series over 4th of July in which they talked about how the american people were dragged kicking and screaming into rationing (it wasnt as easy and selfless as it is portrayed now, it wasnt done volunterrily) and every horrific thing that the atomic bombs and later scientists did to the people of Japan and how unnecessary it all was and about the riots and mass rapes that happened IN SAN FRANCISCO on VJ Day (basically all the soldiers who found out they didn't have to go to war because Japan had surrendered went on a massive bender and the police were told not to stop them the first day or so because it was all in good fun, yea it's why they don't talk about vj day a lot and only show us the kissing in NYC photo from V day). Like, if these maga dudes in the comments were correct that lptol was apolitical that series would have been like every other history channel circle jerk about America's Greatness in the war

A handful also called for the return of the host Ben, who had worked on Fox News and had always been the most right leaning of them, but he was removed from the whole network he helped found because it came out he had been abusive to girlfriends for years (a terrifying thing considering he is 6'7") and his alcoholism was so bad he couldn't even function in the last few episodes he was in. It is amazing listening to say the John Wayne Gacy episode then skipping to the Manhattan project, the difference is insane, Henry keeps joking about long pauses and him bringing up stuff theyve already passed and you can tell he is just trying so hard to keep the episode flowing well and bolstering Ben where he can. He always presented as mild mannered and a funny drunk and a gentle giant, until he didn't, and past girlfriends started coming out with the shit he said to them, and you're just like "oh wow, where have I heard this before? Oh, every other right leaning asshole ever?" And don't get me wrong, he was honestly my favorite host at some points, but I am also an adult capable of critical thinking and realizing what he has done doesn't diminish the joy the show has brought me in the past and that his removal was the best thing they could have done so that we can continue enjoying the show going forward. (I also don't need to know every sordid detail of it all, he did what he did, they did what they did, I don't need specifics or more information because I don't actually know any of these people personally, it's not my business if it's not part of their actual business and shows, which a lot of people don't seem to get)

I have always liked that the show goes out of its way to show that serial killers and murderers and cults and all of that come from every political ideology there is, but they also acknowledge how dangerous right wing and conservative ideology is, which has only gotten stronger as a sentiment since Ben left (either as a reaction or because he isnt there to refute it or necause they dont have to be nice as noone in the room is right leaning anymore idk), and anyone who says they need to "stay out of politics" should know they are either advertising how stupid they are or should learn that they aren't going to be able to bully the network into catering to them.

Anyways I'm going to the show in Atlanta in January as a happy birthday to myself, I'm so glad they finally have another southern show, I haven't gotten to see them since they did Charelston in 2021 and it was already the highlight of my decade, so fucking ready, hail gein, hail Satan, love you fuckers

[whipple-effect]

Splats Illustrated • A Sizzling Selection of Swimsuit Squids

This is it! The Splats Illustrated Swimsuit Edition: A SFW (and NSFW) Splatoon fanzine themed around fun in the Summer sun!

Want to be a part of it? Here’s how to apply:

Send me a direct message to me on twitter ( @WhipEffect_Art ) or e-mail ( CLICK HERE TO READ Google Doc) with your intent to create an illustration, and some samples of your work

If you agree to the terms and conditions, and can produce your art in the allotted time, you’re in!

YOU MUST BE 18+ IF YOU WANT TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE NSFW EDITION! FULL STOP

FAQ:

What is the deadline?

AUGUST 4th — Provide me with your finished artwork, so I may assemble the PDF.

Can I post my finished illustration early?

If you’d like to share WIPs or previews of your piece, you may provide me with images, and I can post them — Tagging your blog(s) and promoting the zine.

Does my art NEED to be Summer themed?

Yes, but how your squids enjoy the Summertime is wholly unique to them — If they like to stay inside and play video games as the sun shines outside, that’s just as valid as hitting the beach or lounging poolside. Or in the case of the NSFW edition, maybe sunbathing in the nude is more their speed.

Will my contribution be guaranteed to appear in the book?

If you want your artwork featured in the book, it needs to be completed and submitted by the deadline. If you feel you cannot meet the deadline, seriously consider if you want to be a part of this project.

Can I commission someone to provide art for the book?

Yes! If the artist can submit it by the deadline.

Can I collaborate with another artist?

Yes! If you can submit it by the deadline.

Is this SFW?

Yes, the fanzine is predominantly SFW. There will be a NSFW edition as well.

Can my contribution be NSFW?

Yes it may, and it will be complied and in an additional PDF ft. other NSFW material. YOU MUST BE 18 OR OLDER TO CONTRIBUTE NSFW ARTWORK OR RECEIVE THE COMPLETED NSFW BOOK!

IMAGES SPECS: 8.5 x 11 inches @ 200 DPI

SUBMISSION:

Submit a PNG of your finished illustration

Include a short paragraph explaining your illustration

Include a short paragraph about yourself, and your history/relationship with Splatoon — Introduce yourself!

REMEMBER! The deadline is AUGUST 4th, 2023! So let’s have some fun in the sun, Splatoon style!

[foreversandalways]

hey! saw your synastry post, and have been looking into all of this and it is so interesting, because i don't have a lot of dating experience so even without considering any of the placements it's a good way to look at what works in relationships, what doesn't, the red flags to avoid, the kind of person I'm attracted to vs the kind of person who would actually be a good partner for me, what i would personally like to see in a partner, and so much more! like just from reading all the descriptions for every aspect whether or not it applies to me!

I am also probably going to seriously consider marriage because I'm at a big age now, even though I've never wanted to and still don't really think of marriage as a goal in life. I'm in the laufey song where everybody's falling in love and I'm falling behind (:

(I'm looking at astrology because it's always been helpful, but I know not to base my life around it, because I don't think things are predetermined or set in stone, but knowing what you might have to face is always helpful. the more you know the better kind of thing).

anyway, you know how you said saturn square venus in synastry is one of those big NO aspects. i have one of those cardinal cross kinda charts (and also a night chart), where all my planets are in squares and oppositions to each other and also in my angular houses (so I have full moon where sun is at ascendant in cancer, moon at 7th in cap, saturn at aries in 10th, mars in libra in 4th ya know that kind of thing). and also, saturn is my dominant planet.

so almost all the synastry placements where they're like "these are the aspects that make life easier" with one planet are almost always squaring or opposing some other major planet of mine so they also fall in the "these aspects will make it more difficult". for example, someone with a venus in cancer/capricorn would fit in well with the rest of my chart but then would be likely to have a square with my saturn.

(for reference, my venus is in leo in 3h and merc is also in leo in 2h, so there is likely something where a cancer or capricorn venus person might not be compatible with me anyway considering my venus, but I'm just taking that as an example)

what would you say is a workaround for this kind of thing? more generally, how to work out which part is more important in terms of trumping out the other easy/difficult aspects?

hi! thanks for the ask.

i wanna say first, don’t vex yourself on synastry. the aspects in synastry don’t define the relationship, the relationship defines the synastry. like i said, it’s relative to the karma of two people. my observations about venus square saturn reflect my relationship with those planets as symbols, but it doesn’t have to be that way for everyone. i’m sure there are plenty of couples with venus-square saturn in their synastry who are happy and make it work but again, that’s their karma (not karma as in “reap what you sow” karma as in “that’s the hand you’re dealt by fate”)

so maybe if, like you said, someone’s planet squares your saturn that’s something you have to work with rather than resist. saturn is also your seventh house ruler so it’s important for relationships. what does it feel like when someone’s planet squares your saturn? is it difficult? does it make you want to give up or try harder? saturn is also in its fall in aries which would make things like relationships a little more difficult for you (keeping in mind i don’t have the context of your entire chart) but as you experience life/transits/eclipses/ your karma changes regarding your experience of relationships. especially post saturn-return. the birth chart isn’t static. it evolves as you do.

and a cancer/capricorn venus could still be compatible with you even with a leo venus, since it’s your first and seventh house! like i said, it’s all relative.

[mcl38]

so like ignoring the part abt the silly reasons to hate zak bc as ive said before i find that valid and funny, imagine missing the point so bad....

'Ultimately we weren't getting the results that we needed and we're a year-and-a-half into this,' Brown told Fox Motorsport host Jess Yates at the Bathurst 1000. 'We've all tried extremely hard, we love Daniel, he's great to work with and continues to be great to work with. 'But we're in the results business and the results weren't coming and we felt we tried everything. 'We don't really know why it didn't click, it's kind of nobody's fault. We gave it our best. He gave it his best ... we just kind of ran out of things to try.' (...) 'But my job, along with Andreas (Seidl), is to make the tough decisions and because we didn't really see progress happening, it was like, 'Well I think we just need to make a change for both of our sakes and hopefully get him in the situation where he can be competitive again and in a Formula One car wherever he ends up racing', but (it's been) a huge disappointment.' 

i genuinely dont understand how this stuff is 'doing daniel dirty' and 'painting daniel as totally incompetent'?? like as a ceo obvs he doesnt have the specificity in his language that an engineer would have but this quote is pretty much what he says almost every time - we really did try our best, we know daniel tried his best, but there's something going on between daniel and the car and we know it's not productive or pleasant for either us or him to keep trying to make this happen. and he also usually adds stuff like how hes still a big fan of daniel or 'has a soft spot' for him or about how monza was obvs zak's first (and only) win at mclaren. which - how is all that not reasonable?

like genuine question - do u think if daniel was still at mclaren in 2023 would he have been so seriously considered by red bull as a possible replacement for checo (knock on wood)? and a bit more meanspirited of a question - considering the fact that in 2021 and 2022 mclaren only barely missed out on 3rd and 4th in the wcc respectively, do you think if daniel was still at mclaren in 2023 that mclaren would've reached 4th ahead of aston? i think its just so clearly for the best for both parties and i think i can afford to say that especially now w the retrospective knowledge that its not in fact daniels f1 doom and he DOES get back on the grid very soon after being dropped

anyways if any of u talk about twinks in the tags of my posts again ur getting blocked jsyk this is my last warning. #justsayfag

[dandunn]

I'm sorry for attacking u on ur post like that. It wasn't fair to u. Im glad u realized that u were wrong.

Thank you for the apology, though I must say that being critical of people for their past mistakes, whether its someone who was a fatphobe, aphobe or someone who held any other type of bigoted thoughts, isnt a super great way of trying to prompt someone to change. it usually makes people double down on that kind of behaviour and made me feel worse about that part of my past.

I also realize that my use of the perjorative 'ham' in that post upset you, but it was my reflection of the type of the nasty types of subreddit i used to hang out in and not a word i would ever consider using seriously today. my use of it was explicity sarcastic and i used it in an overblown way to try and make my point. using that kind of word is usually something that kids get taught not to say in 4th grade and I just wanted to re-iterate that I *do* feel bad about it.

[the-feminist-filipino-fangirl]

I have been procrastinating on posting this for ages now but anyways, here are my Rottmnt fankids!:

Cat and Sandro are twins and they were adopted by Raph. Gio was adopted at age 2 by Leo. Yes, Raph and Leo decided to continue the Renaissance artist name trend, yes they are color coded (CYMK but minus the K), and yes, they have mystic powers/Hamato Ninpo. Let me give you a rundown of each character (this is gonna be long imma divide it into 3 parts)

(Part 2: Cat, Part 3: Gio)

Sandro

Before I get into Sandro’s personality, I’m going to begin by explaining the twin’s backstory. Basically, Raph was considering adoption around the same time one of April’s friends accidentally got pregnant. He offered to adopt the baby, not expecting it to be babies plural. The twins are half Japanese and half Jamaican (I was definitely influenced by the blasian human turtle designs)

Sandro is 9 years old and is named after Sandro Botticelli. His signature color is magenta and he is definitely one of the smartest kids in 4th grade. All three kids are actually really smart like seriously, they were all homeschooled by Donnie for the first 8 years of their life. And that doesn’t even count what Leo Mikey and Raph taught them.

Sandro is autistic like Raph and Donnie and is a huge literary nerd (I’m self projecting here) and has a ridiculously large book collection. Raph encourages his love for reading as much as possible. He loves his alone time and is introverted but if you ask him about one of his hyperfixations he will infodump for hours. He is on the high empathy side of the spectrum and loves his family to the death. He’s very peaceful but he is not above punching someone if they hurt his family.

When he and Cat were about seven, the begged Raph for weeks on end to teach them to become ninjas. They thought their dad and uncles had the coolest job ever and wanted to copy them. Raph wanted to train them but he was terrified of hurting his kids so he refused at first. The puppy eyes won in the end. They ended up having a blast training together. Sandro uses a bladed staff like the one Cassandra uses in the season finale:

Except his isn’t bent. Sandro also knows how to use tonfas and a bo staff.

Now I mentioned earlier that the kids have Hamato Ninpo despite being adopted and they got mystic powers along with it. Sandro got invisibility. He just claps his hands and he disappears. You should have seen Raph’s face when he did it for the first time. Splinter constantly teases the turtles that their 9 year old nephew/son is better at stealth than them. Sandro usually uses his powers when he wants to get out of uncomfortable social situations (I can relate)

And that’s it for Sandro! I’ll continue with Cat and Gio after I finish studying bc I have an exam tomorrow. Adios!

[ageless-aislynn]

Lieutenant Hank Anderson, Detroit Become Human

Okay, y'all know me and my Mass Effect: Andromeda obsession. I just mentioned how I couldn't help but love Alec Ryder in part because he's voiced by Clancy Brown who is also the voice and character model for Hank. *points up* 😎👍

I watched a playthrough of DBH pre-Halo because I didn't expect to ever get the chance to play it. However, looking up the Alec Ryder stuff for my post the other day brought DBH back to mind and I decided to pop it onto my Steam wishlist, just in case. NOT THAT I'M BUYING ANYMORE GAMES RIGHT NOW, OF COURSE. 😇😉

I've always been super intrigued by DBH and it's many, many endings and outcomes but I also have to take into consideration that, as silly as it might sound, that can trigger my anxiety about making "wrong" choices. I wasn't sure about Andromeda initially because of that and I've put off playing the original Mass Effect trilogy for the same reason. But, I thought, the thing I have to remember is that you can always go back and replay the game and make different choices and all that.

So if I ever do get DBH and make wrong choices that gets characters killed (very, very possible) or end up with outcomes I don't like (also very, very possible), then just replay and fix everything right?

And then I remembered Chloe.

We'll throw a spoiler break here even though the game is from 2018. So, fair warning for SPOILERS beneath the cut.

Chloe is your android host who has been with you since the start of the game. She makes comments on your choices, says things that are surprisingly personal (I know I'll definitely get this one, lol) or unexpectedly touching (I would've probably burst out crying if I didn't know about this one and just got it randomly) or might be pertinent to the date you're playing (I've seen one referencing that it's the 4th of July, one about Christmas, etc.). Once you reach the end of a game that has been full of choices and consequences, you get one more:

Jump to 4:52 for the reaction to yes, if you don't want to watch everything in between. 😉

And yes, this choice is permanent. If you free Chloe, she will not be back ever again through any playthrough. However, if you tell her no, then she'll erase her memory and, though she'll still be there in the menu, she'll never again offer any personal comments. Either way, you get the one playthrough with her having her initial personality, that's it.

Apparently, people were so distraught by this being a choice that can't be undone in subsequent games, (if this would've hit me blind, I would've been horrified by whatever I'd picked because I would've expected a new game to reset everything) that they created a patch where you'll get offered a "new" Chloe. However, if you accept, my understanding is that you'll basically get the impersonal Chloe from the "no" choice.

Now, my anxiety aside, I have to say that this is kinda brilliant considering that DBH is all about whether or not you believe androids should be free as autonomous beings or if they're merely "soulless" robots made to serve a purpose and that's all. Your choice for Chloe at the end will sum up how you played the game and you can't take it back. If you free her, "your" Chloe is gone. If you keep her, you get a soulless, impersonal machine that looks like your Chloe but who isn't.

Considering my absolute love for Cortana from Halo, it's no surprise that I would take this choice very personally. I honestly don't want to let her go but, if I ever do get the game and play it, then I'll definitely choose yes to freeing her. She looks and sounds so sad if you say no, I couldn't stand that. Yeah, I take my fictional people SERIOUSLY, y'all! 😑😉

Anyway, what would you choose? And if you've already played, what choice did you make?

Naturally, I also think Cortana and Chloe would be friends.

[dinoracha]

February 4th, 2023 Stream [Hi-Fi Rush, Sunday Gold] Summary

Abysmal turnout of viewership aside (surprising no one), I started the stream with Hi-Fi Rush. If my social media posts have been any indication, you can probably tell that I love the absolute bones of this game. I can't remember the last time I played a game where, from start to finish, I spent most of the time grinning like a doofus from the sheer amount of fun and joy I was getting out of it. A good part of that has to due with mostly everything being synced with its music, but I've always been a sucker for rhythmic elements in games.

The game being depicted and its story told like a 'western-anime' gives it so much color, expressiveness and free reign to take itself with so little seriousness; it's legitimately funny at times and Chai is an absolute idiot goofball moron buffoon git and I couldn't love him any more for it. While the combat may not be as intricate as other character action games, there's certainly enough depth to require quick decision-making. The rhythmic nature of the gameplay means that button-mashing is a fine way to get nowhere fast, but why would you mash to begin with? Attacks being enhanced and racking up a higher score by playing well are reward enough, but when you get in the zone and start vibin' out? Reacting on time with everything being thrown your way, cleaving through enemies while avoiding and parrying their attacks? Hearing the non-existent crowd chanting and cheering when hitting S rank?

I'll elaborate more if/when I sit down to write a review on the game, but good god, Hi-Fi Rush just feels brilliant to play. It makes me feel like the coolest dude around, and in lenient enough to still let you feel cool if you whiff on inputs or take hits. I was playing on medium difficulty which got a bit spicy from time to time, so I can only imagine how much more the game demands of you on hard or above. For a game that dropped seemingly out of the blue, I can't sing the praises of Hi-Fi Rush enough. Easily a contender for game of the year and has found a snug place in my personal top ten.

After finishing Hi-Fi Rush, I swapped over to Sunday Gold for the rest of the night. Ever since its reveal last year I had my eye on it, though never got around to actually picking it up. Turns out earlier that day it had gone on sale, so I snatched it up. The concept of a point and click adventure game crossed with an RPG had my interest, though finding out it's a heist game with a cast of utter dirtbags was a pleasant surprise.

I'd need more time to better define it, but the art and style is like a comic book if it was dropped in a muddy puddle and skillfully restored - For character portraits and cutscenes, anyway. There are Some Faces (TM) that are something else to look at. The game is broken up into two playable parts: Exploration and combat. The former is the point n' click standard fare with snooping around, searching for items and making progress. Action points (AP) are an interesting currency, because taking actions or searching things require AP while exploring, and they're restored by using items or 'ending the turn' which simulates a bit of time passing. You can't just kill time forever though, as ending turns (at least when heisting) cranks up an alert status which, if the dice rolls badly, can spook the team or trigger a fight.

AP is shared between both modes, and combat has been… Not the best so far. I'm not expecting Shin Megami Tensei-levels of planning of course, but fights seem to take longer than they really should, doubly so for the first boss fight. Credit due, there's stuff to consider like breaking guard or applying buffs/debuffs, but for the damage you deal versus the amount you take? I can forsee later chapters really trying to grind you into the ground to make things tense and desperate, but I don't think it'll be done in a satisfying or challenging way.

Still, the presentation is top-notch. Even with the limited animations, the game looks slick and the vocal cast has been enjoyable. I wasn't expecting there to be this much voice acting, but I'm not going to complain; the main characters are unlikable, but they have roguish qualities as the self-proclaimed 'righteous villains' that makes it more than possible to continue hanging out with them. I'll definitely come back to the game, but I'll likely save it for the stream for the sake of story continuity.

[spartanseagoat]

Chiron Cancer- Your Heart Will Lead You Home

Hey beautiful humans! I’m back to spoil you with another post for today. This is the 4th part of my Chiron series.

Hopefully you’ve been reading my other series blog and have a basic understanding of Chiron. But, if this is the first post you’ve encountered and don’t know what Chiron is, here’s a brief Introduction…

Chiron is an asteroid in astrology that’s considered “The Wounded Healer.” This represents the internal trauma wounds you carry. These are the wounds that never fully heal but it can be used as a great learning tool for personal growth and how you help heal others.

Cancer rules over our emotions , our deep inner selves, our home and family life, our mother, our childhood, our mind.

So…

In Past Lives- I’m not going to lie, this Chiron is difficult because you’re wounded in the most vulnerable and personal way. You were hurt by family or something happened to your family that’s left a wound. This wound can heavily indicates “mommy issues.” You may have gotten wounded by other women family figures in your life as well. Your emotions could’ve not been taken seriously or you lacked them. You could’ve been heavily reserved and distracted by either work or committed projects and wasn’t able to develop emotional connections with people.

Now…

In this life- you struggle with family and connecting with them. This doesn’t mean you don’t love them but you’re probably the “black sheep” of your family. You have a hard time being emotionally vulnerable with people even if you trust them. There’s always that distrust wound you carry from early childhood and past life. Finding safe spaces to relax can be hard as well

How to Heal and Grow

- breath-work and regulating your emotions

-mother yourself. Take care of yourself and love, and nurture yourself.

-re-connect with women , not every woman is out to get you love, idc if it’s only one woman in your life you trust. Build that relationship.

-nurture your home as well, don’t just let anyone in your home because that’s your safe space. Protect your safe space

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this blog and follow me for more!