#I see too much on tiktok queer people especially turning on their own community because they want to be a ‘good one’. as if the pink

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

I don’t advocate for bigotry, but I need the leopards to get to eating some faces.

[ambitionsource]

I found ambition when looking for Jack and Eric fanfic on ao3. I genuinely thought it was it's own show with characters who just happened to have the same name as my two bmw favs (I didn't watch gmw and for my own sake I probably never will because they do my babies; jack, eric and angela, so dirty, and I knew of certain things namely Lucas Maya Riley I didn't know enough for it to make me click). I had no clue what I was getting myself into but then I started reading. I'm so beyond glad I did, I've loved every second, every laugh and every tear. Ambition is the show I wished I had as a teen (instead I had glee... and Riverdale... that says enough...) but I'm glad I found it when I needed it, as I face the same challenges the gang has been facing in season 4 as they move on from triple a and onto life in the real world. I like to believe the stories we need find their way to us, the characters we need to meet come to us, thank you for bringing all the characters but especially Jack, Charlie, Nigel, Asher and Jade to life, joining them on their journeys throughout the show and seeing parts of myself - good and bad - reflected back on me has helped me in ways I'll never be able to put to words so I'll simply say thank you. That's the power of good writing, it leaves the reader changed, the writing in ambition is incredible. I've been invested at every step, hooked by every twist. Ambition feels so real, so poignant, the characters feel like real people, it is so true to life in all it's complexities and in all it's ugliness and beauty. It's raw and it's human and it's about community and hope and it's about flawed people who make mistakes but are still worthy and deserving of love and who are trying to do not only do their best but do good and it's the story I desperately needed. I just wanted to write a wee note to send some appreciation to you all for your incredible work and everything you do to bring us this brilliant piece of work.

If the multiverse is real there's a universe where I follow Dylan Orlando on yt and TikTok and debate and jokingly bicker with Nigel about Shakespeare and am mostly likely a techie, I'm kinda sad that I'm not in it lmao but I'm glad and so grateful in one where I found your story. Looking forward to the rest of season 4 and in time season 5, it's going to break my heart to say goodbye but that's how you know that it mattered, if it hurts to let it go.

{backpedaling to bmw for a sec, BLESS YOU FOR WRITING THE WRONGS. I loved the Shawn Angela storyline in season 1 and honestly it healed a part of me that bmw/gmw broke. Without a doubt ambition did it better. I love when they pop in and they have some of my favorite lines. Shawn absolutely kills me, to paraphrase ; "oh yeah I could be jack, authority baby" destroys me every single time. I adore his dynamic with the techies too and Jack. Speaking of Jack, I am on my knees praising y'all for Jack and Eric, so rarely are older couples in teen/ya shows given such depth and it's even rarer to see a queer relationship between two men in their 30s/40s. Their relationship isn't perfect, it's flawed and complicated and there is so much love, their journey so far has been beautiful. It's rare for older characters especially teachers and parents to be treated as three dimensional and as complex individuals, they're typically just the joke or unreasonable antagonist, not in ambition. They are just as complicated and as real as our mains and I love that}.

omg hi! hello!! welcome welcome to the ambition family! full disclosure when i got the notification in my email that i had an anon on this blog i always lowkey dread it's going to be something harsh -- because internet -- but this message was the absolute opposite and the most lovely of surprises. i don't even know where to begin, but you wrote such a thoughtful and packed note here so i wanna address it all in turn -- please bear with me for the long response!

(though if you've read all of ambition up to this point, you're probably used to my writing being way too long. ahaha.)

first off, i wanted to highlight, underline, emphasize in bold what you said here: "I like to believe the stories we need find their way to us, the characters we need to meet come to us..." because you quite literally put our mentality about creating the show into words (beautiful words at that). that is near word-for-word the approach esther and i have taken with this show basically since its inception when we started writing it for ourselves -- we never ever expected it would reach as many people as it has. and we think of it that exact same way, that those who are meant to discover ambition will find their way to it (and its never too late to dive in). so it's so special to me to see you say that, to reflect that sentiment back to us, as like... proof that it is true. this series has brought a specially strange and wonderful cohort of readers together and it is always amazing when another one pops in to make themselves known. so thank you, thank you, for taking the time out of your day to share that with us. and again, welcome!

secondly -- HELL YES TO FINDING YOUR WAY HERE BECAUSE OF JACK AND ERIC! as someone who admittedly has grown less than fond of bmw in the intervening years (does our version of ct show that a bit... oops lol), jack and eric as a duo are still who holds my heart because they were that iconic in the source material of yore. i typically just tag them because they are so central to ambition (though as you probably noticed, i don't tag bmw as a fandom -- at this point i wouldn't tag either show honestly since its so like it's own thing but i have to unfortunately lmao), but i had considered not doing so because i didn't want to clog up the jeric tag but now i'm so glad i do, because look what a lovely little happenstance of bringing you to ambition it fostered!!

(also, you're correct. don't watch gmw. i enjoyed my time with it back in the day, it's cute, but there are better shows and the fandom was absolutely horrible. basically everyone who was there will attest to that LOL. that's partially why we emphasize that at this point ambition really is its own thing, because it's so far removed -- and clearly you can vouch for that now 😊)

and thank you for your kind words about how we write jack and eric -- we 100% agree that adult characters on young adult dramas tend to be useless at best and downright vile at worst (hellooo mr schue, speaking of glee), and we wanted them to be fleshed out and flawed and featured just as much in their own right. plus not only do they have a great relationship with each other that we enjoy writing (enemies to friends to lovers done right, if we do say so ourselves), they have such incredibly important dynamics with others (lucas and isa being the obvious ones) that it's impossible to think of the show without them. so it is SO great to hear such specific praise for them from a reader! and i love that you shouted out a shawn line, he is an underrated gem in the ambition story world for sure (and allowing him and angela their due was very satisfying for us, yes, hahaha).

lastly, can i ask, are you a writer too? because the way you phrased this is absolutely gorgeous and i want to just. hang it up on my wall and hold it close to my heart forever: "joining them on their journeys throughout the show and seeing parts of myself - good and bad - reflected back on me has helped me in ways I'll never be able to put to words so I'll simply say thank you. That's the power of good writing, it leaves the reader changed, the writing in ambition is incredible. I've been invested at every step, hooked by every twist. Ambition feels so real, so poignant, the characters feel like real people, it is so true to life in all it's complexities and in all it's ugliness and beauty. It's raw and it's human and it's about community and hope and it's about flawed people who make mistakes but are still worthy and deserving of love and who are trying to do not only do their best but do good and it's the story I desperately needed."

like legit, that means so so much to us. it's so heartening to see readers engage with the material so deeply AND come away from it with exactly the themes we set out to explore -- community, love, complexity, humanity, faith, failure, rebirth. so thank you, genuinely, for taking the time to send us this wee little note. it is incredibly kind of you, and we're so glad you found this series and get to take the journey with us.

enjoy the rest of the season to come, and please feel free to pop in at any time ✨

-- Maggie

[tyrrhenia]

Yikes, there’s a lot of discourse going on in the trans masc tags today, it seems. I’m gonna rant so just block/mute if you’re tired of hearing it.

I feel like a lot of transmasc folks on here (especially white transmasc folks) are more interested in playing oppression olympics than actually uplifting other trans and queer people. And no, this is not just limited to “transmasc v trans femme, who is more discriminated against” because first of all that’s fucking garbage. Some of you lack the basic readings comprehension skills to understand that there are different types of discrimination that apply to both trans men and trans women—visibly or invisibly—and that they are ALL considered transphobic and violent. Sitting here and typing out how you’re more oppressed than trans women is fucking stupid, and I say this as a trans masc person.

Which brings me to point 2. A lot of you don’t know that there is a time and a place for your personal dysphoria. LET ME BE CLEAR— no one is telling you that you can’t make your own posts, tiktoks, etc describing your personal gender dysphoria and how you deal with that. I am SPECIFICALLY talking about when you hijack someone else’s post/tiktok/etc to derail or invalidate it with your own personal dysphoria.

I saw a lighthearted tiktok about a transmasc dude making a joke about how he can eat whatever he wants before bottoming (implying he is not only ok with vaginal intercourse but also making a nice comment about his body and experiences). You bet your ass his comment section was filled with people snarking like “ok but MY dysphoria” “couldn’t be me” “I can’t even look down there” OK?! No one asked you. This tiktok wasn’t FOR you. It was for other transmasc folks who are ok with their vagina. Keep scrolling, have that conversation in your own tiktok. I see plenty of them from dudes who have similar body opinions of themselves.

There’s a lot I could say about these same transmasc folks policing who is and isn’t trans due to the level of discomfort they feel on a daily basis, and it’s bullshit. That’s classic cis shit. You don’t have to prove you’re trans by showing how much you hate the gender you’re transing out of, or by how well much you perform cis ideas of male/female. I did too much time pretending to be a hyper feminine woman to turn around and pretend to be a hyper masculine man.

Y’all complain transmasc folks don’t have communities, but every time I’ve tried to join one of them it’s filled with people trying to play oppression and suffering olympics. Being trans is already hard. It doesn’t have to mean suffering. Don’t alienate yourselves from other trans masc and trans folks. Don’t alienate yourselves from queer folks.

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

Pan? Polysexual sounds better now

Back to guys, gay girls, nonbinaries, pan, bi, gender-fluid, and queer people.

I might have to take a recap on matches who are trans for right now,

I still have a lot to learn about what my true identity is for right now.

Because I really can't stick to just one label...

Aye, that's just me. And dating apps are starting to feel like a job, there's too many people matching with me and trying to remember names is getting a lot to handle when you're on 3 different apps and about 20 conversations going at the same time. And still 99 people waiting on you to swipe right on them, on each one. And plus I'm not as picky about looks as I was before, so I'm mostly reading just bios, analyzing photos to see what could be their interests in, and making sure I'm not being too passive on red flags when people talk to you.

I will admit, I still swipe right on them if they're trans and I'm attracted to them. I just know me, I'd rather date someone who was fully transitioned or somebody who is still on the nonbinary, before part. Only because I know me.

I had to watch someone I had already grown into getting to know and getting attached to, and then when I finally got comfortable with them for over a yr, they changed that drastically during those 3months we were separate and I had no idea about it.....I'm not sure if I could watch it happen before my eyes. Cause then I would have to miss the way they were before, because of my attraction to their naturally mixed feminine/masculine looking features and actions. So, ideally I wouldn't have changed anything about them.

I don't wanna grow attached to a voice or a face or a body that will no longer be there tomorrow. I know that person before is still in there, but it's different when you're romantically attracted to them, been intimate with them vs when you're just a friend. My experience shocked and scared my paranoia and fear of change. I remember crying when my dad started growing white and grey hairs in his beard. Cause I never want my dad to change, cause I've grown up with him being this strong man that always was there for me, held me, made me feel safe, calmed me down when I had my moments, and tucked me in when I wanted to feel comfortable. He showed me that he always loved me, always cared about me, and that he was never gonna leave me. As if he's never gonna die during my time on this earth. Seeing his greyishly, white hairs, I thought death and that my daddy will soon no longer be the fun, happy, strong dad that I've always been with as his princess. And that's kind of what vibe this particular person was to me, even though they weren't as smart, strong, or always there for me....cause most of the time my nights alone cause they couldn't or didn't know I needed them to be there fo r me like that to feel loved or just to feel wanted. Cause I couldn't speak up.

But now, that they has turned into a he. I feel like its brutally denying me to chance to not only say goodbye to them as they, but I would have to get reacquainted to HE, with a totally different name, maybe different personality, maybe different sexuality, and I won't know if I like the new evolved version of this person. The fear of the unknown is high for me. Especially when there's a 40% rate of fems that decided to change their sexual orientation after taking testosterone. I 'm possessive about my partners and I would hate to know that after seeing this person physically change and go through so much emotional/mental changes that one day they decide "Hey, I think I like men now, I wanna give this a shot. Could we make this work?"

I would tell Him, to go right ahead and go on a date with that coworker or guy on Tinder/Grinder. But I'm not gonna be here when you come home. Because to me that's some bullshit. And I've known this person well enough to know, that they don't mind using other people to meet their sexual needs that I can't possibly give them due to my actual gender and my body as such. I wouldn't want to share my partner, nor watch them get fucked by another man...because I'm not a man, im a woman...theres a huuuuuugggeeee difference.

And if it ever came to that point 3 yrs later and He became someone I didn't know anymore, because of the hormones changing how they feel as a man, dysphoria gone....I get it, you've hated yourself for years and now you're happy in the dream body you always asked for. But, I would be scared to lose you, to whoever else you decide to open up to in your selections. Cause you're that type to leave to please you and not make it work. I don't want somebody who changes their mind all the time about who they wanna be, who else do they wanna smash, and who else they can flirt with. That's cheater mentality.

And I'm sorry trans community that I'm basing my recent experience with someone as the example for the rest of you. Because I know there are some ftm's who've already changed and stayed with their partners. I just don't know if I could trust this process, knowing the effects, the research on whether or not they become completely detached to women or become bisexual... I can't.

And I'm thankful for the ftm's that have been posting youtube videos and tiktoks for viewers like me who are curious about the possible cons, and physical or emotional changes they've overcome. I was shocked the first time I ever watched a bandaged ftm, who finally unrevealed their scars from top surgery. I've always been preparing myself for this. Because I knew one day, that this cute, fluffy, soft skinned, white latino looking, but really just mixed mocha, nonbinary person was gonna be...changed over a year or so. I thought I could prepare for it, so that when it does happen it doesn't hurt as much to watch to them in pain if the bleeding from the scars are irritating them or if one day they're super cranky and obnoxious for what seems to be no reason. Or if one day they end up feeling they dont need anybody like Zanthos, with the 4 avenger rings lol.

But I'm too damn fucking sensitive. I was born this way. I've always prepared myself with the worst and the best information, that way when it does happen, the tidal wave of emotions from the reaction, doesn't end up torching my soul or blowing me out the water. Cause I am gay. I adore women, men, and when I met this person I loved them as an in-betweener as nonbinary. They are so brutally harsh, twisted, manipulative, jealous, and possesive. But I've always liked that they had these emotions inside of them that they hold back because they don't wanna seem so soft, always hiding this feminine quality about them because ideally, they're pretty looking, gorgeous eyes that can turn black cold like obsidian, and those fucking cheeks and cat nose. I've only seen the slight hips, but I didn't mind it. And they've always hid their body away even when we would try to have sex. I knew the dysphoria was there, cause again I prepared myself to be patient and kind.

So, I'm glad they're turning a new leaf to make themselves feel more confident about being recognized in society as a full, grown ass man. I'm pretty sure HE, is gonna get cocky af, cause that's just the way he was when they were they.

I know it's selfish of me to say, but I'm afraid of what will happen down the line years later. But that's just me being afraid. If He ends up not liking me anymore, I know it won't be the end of the world and I walked away at the right time when I did. Because this person is currently separated from me, and I'm still insecure about that part too. Not knowing how they are during this transition for what may become years or not...I hope HE is doing okay and not piercing everyone with their new, world domination, ego.

I just don't wanna imagine them get fucked by a guy....sorry that's just me. And will their buttery ass kisses, still be as sweet anymore?

Will I be ok with HE having chest hair?

Will I love the sound of their new voice or will I just hate it, while still missing the old, brodie, sexy, slightly feminine voice?

Especially when they used to go all soft and cuddly on me over the phone, it was soooo cuteeee. I miss our phone and text conversations.

Will they grow into another relationship with somebody else because they started to become unattached and unattracted to my body, my tits, my hips, my vagina even....just because they completely changed their identity?

And I still a woman? I've only thought about wearing a binder a couple of times, and yes, I do watch ftm and trans porn because I did like the fantasy of being intimate with someone who had a bigger clit size or just having a big clit of my own that felt like a dick.

I'm willing to admit that. Because let's be honest, boys get away with so much more shit as a male, compared to us females.

I wish I could grow a dick overnight and nobody not know I'm still a chick! Lol, but I still don't like the all over hair body growth and I still want my vagina back. Like a rental suit with an actual dick and no tits. Those are the onllyyyyyyyyy things I've thought about, but would never admit out loud. Only because I still like my body and my gender identity as is. I feel like the blue girl from X-Men could get away with it, cause she can be anybody she wants to and go back to being herself at the end of the day. And still camouflage behind walls. Lucky chick. Especially if she could teleport, oh he'll yeah.

It's gonna take me awhile to get over this, so please be patient with me. As I'm trying not to cry as I watch my ftm porn get fucked by a guy. Cause I used to be heavy into it, now I feel wrong for watching it and then I'm reminded "40% chance, you're watching it" 😞🤮😫

[oliverpdaniel]

Let’s talk about casual homophobia.

I wanted to share a transcript of a TikTok video by a minor celebrity (I won't do them the honour of identifying them, but suffice it to say that this individual thrives mostly on controversy and poor publicity), to demonstrate what day-to-day homophobic language looks like. Many of these questions have been asked to me, or tell of real things that I've experienced, due to a generally callous view of queer folks. The quoted parts are the actual video, the unquoted responses mine.

Note in advance that some of these questions are clearly oriented towards gay men, but I am responding from the perspective of a bisexual man. Anyway...

"Okay, these are my questions for the gays – sorry, I was on Straight TikTok for a minute; what?"

Or, as you might like to call it, TikTok. For those unfamiliar, "Gay TikTok" is a small subset of the TikTok community that makes videos primarily revolving around in-jokes and shared experiences of the queer community. Thus, "Straight TikTok" is only extant in contrast, a joking reference to certain, overwhelmingly heteronormative parts of the TikTok community. While I'm not a big fan of the idea of 'ownership' or deciding who's allowed to say what, this (obnoxiously straight, in every sense of the word 'obnoxious') celebrity is trying somewhat unceremoniously to insert themselves into a narrative not their own here. Not off to a great start.

(1) "Would you care if your partner was bisexual?"

Whelp, this is one I can't really answer, can I? But, this still does lean into the old "gold-star" ideology of homosexuality, which makes it off-putting from the jump. For those unfamiliar, a "gold star" gay/lesbian is one who has never had sex with the opposite gender. This is a completely silly distinction, that fails to take into account personal circumstances, as well as – y'know – the fluid nature of human sexuality. TL;DR, even if you're exclusively into one gender, you shouldn't care about your partner's sexual orientation (other than, y'know, making sure it includes your gender) because, leaving aside the absolutely rad underworld of polyamory, they're only going to be into you while they're with you.

(2) "Have you ever been with someone of the opposite gender?"

Ah, more gold-starring! A great way to start. "You're trans? What's your deadname?"

(3) "Do you take offence when a girl calls you her Gay Best Friend?"

The Gay Best Friend is an expendable, non-threatening fount of femininity in masculine form, someone to go clothes-shopping with and who will give you sassy advice on boys. God forbid, however, that the Gay Best Friend try to be vulnerable with you about the difficulties of LGBTQIA+ life; they're only there for sashaying and making out with at parties, right? The Gay Best Friend is an incredibly harmful notion to men on both sides of the sexuality spectrum. Gay (and ESPECIALLY bi/pan/poly) men already know to fear the label, because of the dismissive treatment and expectation of performative homosexuality that comes along with it. Straight men should fight against it, too, because it's a symptom of the present hegemony of heterosexual relationships, which revolves around sexual transactionalism and a healthy dose of gender-role-fuelled intimidation[1]. (If you've never heard any of those words, you're probably the target audience here.)

(4) "Be honest – how many times has a straight person tried to hook you up with a gay person based solely on the fact that they're gay and no other compatibility requirements?" (with a devilish smile, into full blown "oh guuuuuurl" laughter)

This is a real thing that happens to people, myself included, all too frequently. It tells us that when you look at me, you don't think "Oliver", you think "Gay", and next time you meet another gay guy, that's the word ringing through your head. It's not funny. It's hurtful. If you're going to recommend a partner to me, make sure you actually have faith in a connection forming. As someone who ended up in an abusive relationship as a result of overzealous matchmaking, it's not something to be taken lightly; relationships, especially gay relationships and all the societal friction they inevitably entail, are not here for your endearment.

(5) "Are you down to hook up with someone who's 'just curious'?"

MORE gold-starring! God, could you imagine the uproar if a lesbian approached a straight person and said that they "missed dick" and/or wanted to experiment!? Oh, wait, that's already common in straight porn to the point of cliché. Gag; and not the good kind of gag.

(6) "Do you proudly wear the rainbow flag, or are you kinda against it because it kinda segregates?"

...what? When I first found this video, it was being duetted (TikTok's side-by-side video response) by a queer person, and at this point they took the opportunity to say, "I don't like you." I echo the sentiment.

(7) "Are you a 'yaaaaaas kweeeeen' gay or are you, like, 'fuck that shit what the fuck?'"

WE ARE NOT HERE TO PERFORM QUEERNESS FOR YOU. Leaving aside the sociolinguistic aspects of queer language and its intersection with (read: theft from) African-American Vernacular English, if people want to act flamboyantly gay, THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. If people want to act "normal" (read: heteronormatively!!!), that's NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS. Queer people are fucking people, they act differently in different scenarios, and it's not for you to fetishize or to find "too much sometimes". When you accept a queer person into your life, you're accepting every facet of them into your life, for them to live and love unapologetically – not just the parts you find entertaining.

(8) "This might be a dealbreaker for me: do you like musical theatre?"

Yes. But even if I didn't – if I liked drinking beer and watching Nascar (sorry dad), but wish I had a boyfriend to do that with, guess what? That's my own fucking business. And, again, if your idea of a "dealbreaker" when engaging with a gay person is whether or not they like musical theatre – probably one of the most tired stereotypes about gay folks – and not, I dunno, if they're fun to be around and respect your boundaries and opinions, then maybe you're not looking for a gay friend for the right reason.

(9) "Be honest – do you still go through the Chick-Fil-A drivethrough and get that spicy chicken sandwich or those nuggies?" (big, face-scrunching smile.)

This is the one that REALLY got me. This displays just how tone-deaf this person is and how deeply they've objectified the concept of homosexuality for themselves. Chick-Fil-A is a massively homophobic organization from the top down, and they donate millions to organizations that want to bring into question my very right to exist, morally and legally.

As a straight person not affected by these issues, it's easy to say "well, I know I /shouldn't/ go to Chick-Fil-A because of the 'gay stuff', but oh IT'S SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD!". It's easy to momentarily forget one's morality because hey, it's not like you're directly hurting anyone, right? But, as a queer person who has to walk by the brand-new Chick-Fil-A at Yonge and Bloor every day on my walk to class, seeing the lines wrapping around the block lets me take direct measure of who, and how many, are willing to forget about me for just long enough to enjoy a fucking chicken sandwich. Go literally anywhere else. Eating at Chick-Fil-A is a choice, and it's a choice that informs me that you care less about my right to live than your own personal enjoyment.

(10) "Do you get upset when they have straight actors portray gay characters?"

This is a whole other debate, so I'm not going to get into the actual subject matter of this question. But hey – maybe, in an industry literally overrun with queer people, maybe we can stop converting a significant and pernicious problem in entertainment into a cutesy debate topic? Something really tells me that this person isn't going to start whipping out the intersectional feminist literature to explain their argument here. In all likelihood, it'll sound more along the lines of "but Eddie Redmayne looked so GOOD in that dress!"

(11) "And what's the GAYEST thing about you?'

Nope. Shut up and choke. I hate you.

Never tell me for a second that homophobia is "over" in Canada/the West/wherever. Never tell me that it's a distant issue, remaining only in far-off religious backwaters. This is what it can look like. Fetishization; dismissal; turning struggles for human dignity into pseudo-intellectual debates.

I'm not here to be your Gay Best Friend.

I'm not here to date your new gay acquaintance.

I'm not here to repeatedly explain to you my need to have rights.

I'm here for the same reasons you are.

I want to live and love, not to be treated like a toy.

Footnotes

[1] Okay, I'm obviously not saying that all straight relationships are built around sexual transactionalism and intimidation, nor am I saying that non-comphet relationships are not. But, in my experience as a reformed Gay Best Friend who has had to provide counsel to cishet friends over some INFURIATINGLY stupid relationship/courting issues, I would argue that a full ninety percent of them could be resolved if the experiencer simply viewed their partner/interlocutor/'tyng' as another human being, rather than being from the mysterious species that is The Opposite Gender.

[nothorses]

Yeah, the above definitely isn't happening in a vacuum- nor is child abuse or lack of privacy particularly new.

It's a new kind of violation of privacy, and definitely a wider-scale one, too; I remember my mom recording me when I was upset as a way of shaming me into silence, and I cannot imagine how much more traumatic that would be if it actually had been posted somewhere public.

But what's different here isn't just increased forms of surveillance, or increased public involvement in surveillance and humiliation. Radical feminism utilizes cult-like recruiting tactics, and that adds to this as well: the insistence that they are In Danger, that they are The Most Victimized, that they Cannot Trust Anyone- Especially Adults (except, of course, the adults telling them this. Those adults are special and uniquely trustworthy.)

This instills a paranoia and distrust of authority that also fosters isolation, forcing the victims of this rhetoric to cut off all potential help in favor of leaning on The Group, and exclusively The Group. If they feel as if they can't trust anyone else, no one else will be able to recognize what's going on or, if they do, help them.

Radical feminism is probably also rising in part because of the phenomena @glossyfeathers is describing, i.e., people who are already feeling paranoid and distrustful see radfem rhetoric and find it resonates with that mental state.

It makes them feel validated: here is an explanation for why they're so afraid, here is validation that someone is hurting them (men, adults, society), here is a path to safety. All you have to do is cut off all support systems, isolate yourself entirely from society and everyone who loves you, and rely only on people who think exactly like you.

And more appealing, too, is the feeling of moral superiority: not only are you valid in your pain, but you are better than them because of it. Not only are you valid in your discomfort with queerness and sexuality, but you are purer because of it. You are the Most Victim, the one everyone should be focusing on and listening to. And because you are the Most Victim, because you are a child who Cannot Be Held Accountable, you are therefore inherently correct and inherently incapable of really doing any wrong.

It's not just validating; it's a promise of power. It's the white witch with a tin of Turkish delights.

And all the shame they feel, all the self-loathing they internalized, keeps their lips firmly sealed and their self-confidence firmly in question. They aren't actually pure- they're just listening to the people who are. Their shame makes them superior to Outsiders, but their own impurities makes them inferior to the people who claim not to have any of those "deviant" impulses or thoughts in the first place.

The white witch is giving you power, but you still have to do as she says in order to keep it.

They cling to radical feminism, empowered and entrapped by it, and radical feminism is in turn empowered: now capable of recruiting in higher and higher numbers.

Not only that; radical feminism gains the power to take over so much of certain social media platforms and online communities that dissenting voices become outliers, pressured into silence and small corners of these spaces. (TikTok in particular- which also just so happens to skew the youngest of any popular social media platform).

weird anti ideology finally leaking out into the mainstream