#I secretly do kinda wish they would have let him be skinny for another special atleast

[notwordsspoken]

SKINNY TWINK CARTMAN ISN'T CANON LETS FUCKING GOOO

[calamiticus-blog]

welp. had to pick up a third. i apologize for the mess this intro will likely be. this here is my original trash child mickey and i’m super excited to bring him here. just a quick note: he is a legilimens and i fully intend to play this out in the most logical and realistic manner. i’ll have more beneath the cut on this, but you all have my promise that i will not use this to godmod and will only ever use his ability with your permission. i see this as an exciting plot device for interactions and larger connections but don’t want anyone to think i’ll be taking it lightly. as always message to plot and i promise i’ll be on the dash more often

❝  but you can’t get away from yourself. you can’t decide not to see yourself anymore. you can’t decide to turn off the noise in your head. ❞

TOM WEBB? No, that’s actually MIKOŁAJ KOWALSKI. About to begin SIXTH YEAR, this RAVENCLAW student is sided with THE NEUTRALS. HE identifies as CIS MALE and is a HALFBLOOD who is known to be QUIXOTIC, TREMULOUS, and CLUMSY but also INTUITIVE, ADROIT, and EMPATHETIC.

general.

name: mikołaj jacob “mickey” kowalski

age: 16

house: ravenclaw

student functions: herbology club, astronomy club, hogwarts orchestra, president of wizard’s chess club, 

boggart: scary clowns. kinda like ‘it’. no deep reason - just fuck them. 

patronus: meerkat

orientation: heterosexual / heteromantic

headcanons.

two whole generations of kowalskis had passed before another legilimens came around. queenie kowalski was the most infamous in the kowalski family tree. first witch in thefamily, and an accomplished legilimens, almost everyone in the united states knows who she is and her part in the fight against grindelwald nearly 100 years ago. jacob jr. (or jj, as he’s most often called) and aneta kowalski are not nearly as notorious as the former’s grandmother. while she remains in new york, alone in the flatabove her deceased muggle husband’s bakery, jj and aneta lead quiet lives in london, where they’ve openedup a kowalski’s bakery akin to jj’s grandfather’s, one with a back entrance that leads to a completely identical, albeit more magical, bakery in diagon alley. simpletons who devote their lives to delivering baked goods to the masses, there was never a question of where the future kowalski children would end up. with three boys and two girls, the kowalskis saw nothing more than five more sets of hands to carry on the family’s muggle legacy. the only connection they had to the goldstein side of their family was the magic that ran strong in their blood. big boned and generally husky, the kowalskis were all pucture perfect replicas of their muggle patriarch. 

all except for mikołaj. second eldest of the kowalski clan, mikołaj - or mickey, as he preferred to be called - was not your usual kowalski. a tall and skinny beanpole with bright blue eyes and chocolate brown messy hair, freckles like constellations all over his ruddy face, seemed to take more after his mother’s side of the family. but it wasn’t just his looks that separated him from the other kowalskis he shared a tiny flat with. from a young age, mickey always felt a little… different. it wasn’t always easy to explain, because as a young child he didn’t quite understand what was going on with him. he couldn’t quite place the voices that were constantly consuming his thoughts, distracting him and driving him crazy. it wasn’t until he’d heard his grandmother bring up that “annoying thing nana queenie does” at a christmas dinner when he was eight that he’d even realized that these voices were not figments of his imagination but in fact the very thoughts of those surrounding him. like his great-grandmother, mickey was a born legilimens - gifted with the keen ability to tap into the thoughts of others as she was. rare and exceptional, this gift should have been something to feel good about, but all it’s ever done for mickey is caused trouble, embarrassment and harassment. his family felt uncomfortable and guarded around him, his siblings taunted him with their thoughts, and it only created awkward moments and troubles in the muggle bakery. 

when it came time to head to hogwarts, mickey was nervous how his “special gift” would affect his time. he’s had to learn to tune it out, to ignore the natural instinct to read and see into people’s minds without their permission, and haslearned to do so by occupying his mind with other things. puzzles, advanced studies, books on topics he barely understands - anything that keeps his mind occupied. he’s isolated himself from other, preferring the company of plants and animals over that of people. plants and animals can’t think, there’s nothing for him to stumble upon uninvited. 

he wishes he could shut it off completely. his great-grandmother - the withering old thing - has moved into the family’s tiny london flat in order to help mickey cope with his ability, helping him perfect his gift as well as learn to tune it out. he tries his hardest to shield his thoughts from her. he doesn’t want her to know that he secretly hates this inheritance he got from her. he would rather be a squib than bear this cross. 

despite this gloomy outlook, mickey carries himself in a rather cheerful way. he’s always smiling, a goofy and silly smile, often times because he’s tapped into the wild minds of the younger years and stumbles upon some humorous thoughts. he tries his best to act rather “normal” so as not to give off the suspicion that something is off about him. with these troubling times, mickey is well aware of the lengths any would go to get a legilimens on their side. he has chosen to remain neutral and outside the conflict for this very reason. while kowalskis and goldsteins have almost always been on the good side of these fights, he couldn’t allow his mind to be a tool for even the right cause. considering he’s often on the brink of a mental break down, it only seems fitting to keep out and silent about his little trick. 

that being said, he’s had a lot of fun using his legilimens for gain.he’s become captain of the wizard’s chess club, unbeatable in the game, though he’d hate to admit that occasionally he peeks into the mind of his opponent to stay a step ahead of the game. he’s also known to mess with the muggle patrons at his family’s bakery, sometimes pretending to be a medium or psychic and using their thoughts to make a convincing show of it. it never gets too serious, though - jj wouldn’t allow his son to be so careless after all. mostly, however, mickey avoids the use of his “talents”, choosing to occupy his mind with other things. constantly learning and consuming new information, mickey is a clever and intelligent young man - a perfect fit for ravenclaw house, as it would seem. 

he looks forward to the day that he leaves hogwarts. his family has already planned out his future for him: he’ll settle in london nearby and work at the bakery until he dies. but mickey has bigger plans for himself. taped to his wall, above his desk, littered with pins and strings connecting them, post-it notes and photos cut out from magazines and print-outs from the internet, is a map of the world. he wants to travel, to run away from his home and see what’s out there. every place pinned is a fascination, an eight wonder of the world, lush and exotic, inhabited by no one. far from the voices he’s constantly listening to. it’s a blissful dream but it’s the only one he holds onto.

he’s an insomniac, a hypochondriac, asthmatic and anxious 24/7. it’s a deadly cocktail. he can’t sleep because of the voices. he’s constantly seeking out thoughts to silence the static and once spent a whole night reading about deadly diseases and infections, which lead to the hypochondria and his abnormal obsession with every little symptom he’s shown since. the asthma is just another thing that makes him stick out like a sore thumb in his family - and he’s had one too many occasions where his inhaler has been stolen as a prank. this only spikes the anxiety, which in turn makes the mind-reading worse, which makes the insomnia worse, which leads to restless nights of researching fatal cases of magical disease and so on and so forth. someone once likened him to a shaking chihuahua. 

he talks a mile a minute, and he never lets himself stay on one topic for very long. if he gets bored, his mind wanders. if his mind wanders, he hears things. and nothing ruins a day more than overhearing your classmate’s inappropriate thoughts about your charms teacher. puberty was a pretty uncomfortable time for mickey, because he wasn’t just experiencing his own bodily changes - he felt like he was experiencing everyone’s. this is why he’s always occupied with something. books. puzzles. music. anything. it’s also why he avoids quidditch games and often times meals. the whole entire school in one enclosed space? no thank you. that is a nightmare. it was a nightmare his first night. the best choice is for mickey to keep away. it’s why he’s almost never present. he even sneaks off in the evening, using his gifts only then to avoid the prefects. he’s like a ghost this way. in and out, without anyone realizing it. he knows it’s wrong to break the rules, but sometimes he needs to get away. and the forest is the quietest place for a legilimens to go and think. shame, really. he’d love to be a chaser for the quidditch team, if he could shut everyone up. 

he has very few friends, and has only let a select few in the know of his “secret”. again, he just can’t let that get out. if anyone were to find out… he’s afraid of how people will perceive him. he knew from stories and conversation that his great-grandmother wasn’t always well received. and he’s aware of how uncomfortable his family is from having to live with the “mind-reader”, so his best bet is to keep it quiet and between a small group. he tries to socialize, to appear normal and part of the group. he even attends parties (drunk minds can be fun) though he never stays long and half the time he misses half of what anyone says because he’s busy trying to filter through the noise surrounding him, trying to figure out what’s a thought and what’s been said to him. he isn’t sure how he comes off to others, perhaps annoying or too awkward to function. he’s had absolutely no success in the romance department, having heard the thoughts from girls before having the courage to attempt to flirt. he knows before speaking to them that they don’t find him attractive or think he’s “weird” or “odd”, so he just never tries. but he does pine, because he’s a teenage boy with teenage hormones and definitely finds a few girls attractive. thank merlin they can’t hear his thoughts. 

wanted connections.

with a little help from my friends - mickey’s skawd. crew. bros (maybe some hoes). whatever. there are only a few he actually considers friends, and he trusts them enough to let them in on his little “gift”. they’re the only people he would ever let know and even take advantage of the legilimency, often leading them on sneak outs under the prefect’s noses and on wild adventures at hog’s head. they’re the only thing that feels right about his life. the only thing that resembles normal. with them he doesn’t feel like a freak. he feels accepted and even loved.and he adores them for that. ( can be multiple muses )

tormentor - mickey is… odd, to say the least. it’s not his fault, he’s constantly fighting an inner battle against everyone’s inner commentary. give him a break. but this is not known information, so to anyone on the outside looking in, the dude is just… weird. so it isn’t a stretch to think he would have a bully or two that like to mess with him. when he’s so engrossed in his studies or puzzles or whatever mind-numbing activity he’s picked up now to fill the void, he can’t catch himself quick enough before their harassment falls on him. it’s what he gets for coming off so anxious and abnormal. ( can be multiple muses )

what’s inside - being a kowalski, mickey is an expert baker. one of his many random hobbies include wasting away in the kitchen with the house elves, making confections after another. sometimes the desserts served with dinner are actually a kowalski original. he’s seen this person in the kitchens, and soon enough he’s started sharing his little treats with them. baking is just another way to focus on anything but the static, so their conversations have been smooth and without the awkward of mickey avoiding their thoughts. the block out just comes naturally. this could be the start of another friendship. could be something more. if mickey wasn’t so focused on the baking, maybe he’d actually get a good hard look at the person and see that they’re building up a solid friendship from their far more natural conversations. he feels less anxious and weird around them. he wonders if maybe this was how nana queenie felt around great-grandpa jacob. ( only one muse, preferably female ) 

idk guys honestly i’m at a loss. i’ll take anything really. 

so about the legilimency: like i already said - i’m dedicated to making this work and making it realistic and done in a way that it won’t lead to sticky situations such as godmodding. that’s the last thing i ever want. so out of respect to everyone, i have decided to not use the legilimency in interactions unless it has been agreed upon between myself and the player. obviously this is an opportunity for fun, angsty, tense interactions when used properly. terms agreed upon by the players and proper plotting out of the use of the legilimency will always be practiced whenever anyone wants to interact with mickey and potentially plot with him. i encourage anyone to indicate what mickey may hear, whether by italicizing it or marking it in the reply, mentioning it in the tags, or just talking it out with me before we start our interactions, i want it to be made clear what are the limitations with mickey’s gift and your character. obviously i don’t want him running around outing everyone’s deepest secrets and alliances, hence the neutrality and his own guarded nature over his secret. it would be unfair of me to have my kid blab everyone’s thoughts and secrets when he’s keeping his so close to himself. i want everyone to feel comfortable playing this angle out, to want to interact with him. so i invite everyone to message me if you want to, and we can seriously plot this out and figure out how this will play into our characters’ interactions. if i ever, in any way, step out of line - please please please message me. call me out. poke me. i don’t care how, just let me know. because i never wanna overstep the boundaries with this part of my character. it is a huge part of his characterization (everything about mickey is laced with mention of the legilimency and how it affects his every day life) so i don’t want to ever portray it improperly or allow it to cause issue. so i will make sure to ask everyone whether or not mickey could listen into something their character thought, and always take your thoughts on the portrayal of legilimency into consideration. i hope you guys will want to plot with mickey!

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( feel free to message me with plots or connections, even if they aren’t listed on here ! i would be open to everything and anything ! )