#I scribbled out my face because 14 year old me with braces wasn’t pretty

[deakyjoe]

Found a photo of 14 year old me at Madame Tussauds with Wolverine 💀

Also me being Wolverine 🥲

[mayleebaby28]

Some Days I’m Headed in the Right Direction, and Some Days I Ain’t Even Close

@fishfingersandjellybabies wanted Superbat and I’ve wanted to write this for months now so thanks for the inspiration

Note: In this AU, Bruce adopted Dick and Jason as toddlers, while he and Clark were dating. After they got married, they did a surrogacy thing and surprise, got twins Conner and Tim (Tim obviously takes after the mother for height, also they’re super attached to each other), adopted Cass, had Damian and Jon via surrogates, and recently adopted Duke. Ages are Dick-18, Jason-17, Tim and Conner-14, Cass-13, Duke-12, Damian-8, Jon-6. 

Bruce wasn’t sure what his children were doing, but he was pretty fed up with whatever it was.

First he had gone to talk to Dick about something that morning, only to find his son in the process of sneaking back in after a night out, bruises all over his neck and not the crime fighting type bruises. That lead to two important conversations because he was only 18 and the last thing Bruce wanted was to be a grandfather at 33.

Then he went downstairs while Dick took a shower and got some sleep, since he was grounded as much as Bruce could ground him, and saw Jason arguing with Tim, and Kon arguing with Jon, and Damian feeding the dogs from the table, and Duke was trying to pull Tim and Jason apart, and Cass was sitting at the kitchen island quietly scrolling through her phone.

And Clark wasn’t going to be back until dinner time.

Bruce sighed.

“What is going on here?” He asked, his voice booming through the kitchen and effectively silencing his children, all of them pausing to stare at him. All except Cass, who hopped off of her chair, walked by Bruce, stood on her toes to kiss him on the cheek, and continued down the hall.

“Alright, you two, what’s the problem?” Bruce asked, pointing to Jason and Tim where they were standing by the pantry. Duke stayed between them, the new addition wary of the two, who were regularly fighting.

The two angrily glared at each other, neither saying anything. Whatever it was, Bruce would get to the bottom of it later.

“And you two?” He asked, nodding to Kon and Jon sitting at the table.

“Daddy, Kon took the last of the lucky charms,” Jon said, the smallest’s face scrunched up in anger.

“There’s so many other cereals,” Kon said, motioning back towards the pantry. “I was up first.”

Bruce sighed. Kon and Jon struggled with their relationship sometimes too.

“You two, go to your room,” He said, motioning to Tim and Kon. The shorter scowled, leading the way as his twin followed. Bruce could hear them mumbling to each other on their way up. “And you, go find Alfred and help with the chores,” He pointed to Jason, who sighed dramatically before heading towards the dining room.

“They were fighting when I got up, Bruce,” Duke said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Don’t worry about them, they fight a lot,” Bruce said. “Go ahead and take your breakfast into the dining room, I’ll take care of things in here.”

Duke nodded and grabbed his plate, scrambled eggs, before heading in Jason’s direction.

“Damian, don’t feed the dogs from the table,” Bruce said, and the eight year old huffed, picking up a piece of toast for himself. “Jon, Honey, why don’t I get you something else for breakfast? What do you want?”

Bruce scooped his youngest up, resting him on his hip so he could see everything in the pantry.

“Cheerios,” Jon said, pointing. Bruce grabbed the box and handed it to him as he set him down. “Thank you, Daddy.”

“You’re welcome,” Bruce sighed, glad the little one still thanked him. “You two, go.” He waved the dogs off, and they bounded out of the room, running into the rest of the manor.

He made sure his two youngest were settled and eating peacefully before going to find his twins. They both seemed the most upset, it was probably best to handle them first.

Bruce knocked on their door, and opened it when he heard a quiet ‘yeah?’

Kon was lounging on his bed, folding what looked like homework into a paper airplane but one thing at a time. Tim was at their shared desk, scribbling something down with a pen.

“What’s going on with you two this morning?” Bruce asked, going to sit on Tim’s bed.

“Jason kept taking my stuff and holding it up high where I couldn’t reach it,” Tim said, setting his pen down and closing his eyes. “He wouldn’t give me back my phone, he keeps sending stupid texts to Stephanie.”

“I’ll talk to him about that,” Bruce nodded, not looking forward to that. Since Jason was 13 he seemed to just like tormenting his little brothers. It wasn’t until Conner hit his growth spurt that he focused his efforts solely on Tim. “And I understand breakfast wasn’t your fault, but please try to be gentler with Jon. He’s still little.”

Kon grunted, tossing his airplane so it would land on the desk in front of Tim. The shorter of the two opened it, saw ‘I’m Bored’ scribbled on the back of a worksheet.

“Okay, but you can’t just copy my homework,” Tim said, flipping it over to reveal a blank sheet. “So do it.”

“Ugh,” Kon groaned, getting up to grab the paper and go back to his bed.

“You boys finish that before you go out today,” Bruce said, saw Kon pulling his phone out. “And I’m sure Cassie doesn’t mind waiting until you homework is done to talk to you.”

Kon rolled his eyes, but still put his phone away.

Bruce smiled and got up to leave his twins to their homework. He headed down the hall until he heard music coming from Cass’s room. The door was opened, so he leaned his head in to see what she was up to.

She looked up from her phone and smiled, giving him a wave.

“Doing alright, Angel?”

“Okay,” She said, giving him a thumbs up.

Bruce smiled at her as he closed the door and started down the stairs again, intending to find Jason. When he did, he was back in the kitchen, drying the dishes Alfred was washing.

“Can I have Tim’s phone, please?” Bruce asked, holding a hand out. Jason sighed, reaching into his front pocket and pulling out the phone to hand him. Bruce checked the back to check that it was Tim’s, and that was confirmed by the superboy logo sticker on the back. “Must you bother him all the time?”

“I was just teasing him a little,” Jason rolled his eyes. Difficult boy, he was.

“Well, Tim doesn’t like to be teased, Jason,” Bruce said, stuffing the phone in his own pocket. He’d give it back later when Tim was done with his homework. “He’s sensitive.”

“He needs to grow a pair,” Jason scoffed, and Bruce held his tongue. Telling Jason to keep it PG would only make him more difficult.

“Just apologize, please? I don’t want to hear that you’re teasing him anymore,” Bruce instructed, and Jason heaved a dramatic sigh as he put a plate away. “Don’t you huff at me, young man.”

“Bruce, come on, he’s my brother, I’m just giving him a hard time,” Jason said, and Alfred shoved a plate at his chest with some anger. Obviously Alfred agreed with Bruce.

“Well if you have to give someone a hard time, maybe pick your battles,” Bruce said. “I’m sure you can find better targets. Or, better yet, go for a drive and work off whatever is bothering you that makes you want to torment him.”

“Whatever,” Jason said, putting another plate in the cabinet.

“When you’re done here, I want you to apologize,” Bruce said, firm as he left the room. Alfred would talk to him, they always seemed to work out problems together better than Jason and Bruce.

He was just getting back out into the hall when the dogs came bounding past him to the foyer, barking up a storm as the front door opened.

Clark came in, smiling at the dogs and letting Krypto jump on him even though he wasn’t supposed to. He set his bag down and kicked off his shoes, getting down to their level to pet them so they would stop barking.

“Clark,” Bruce breathed, feeling the tension leave his shoulders. Eight children on his own was too much no matter how old they got. It was hard enough when it was just the two before he and Clark even got married. He wished he could go back and tell his younger self that it was good practice because he’d get more than a handful more children.

“Hey, handsome,” Clark said, standing up straight and grabbing the back of Bruce’s neck to pull him in for a kiss. “What’s the matter?”

“The kids are driving me nuts, Clark,” Bruce sighed, stepping into his husband’s embrace and resting a head on his shoulder. “Jason is teasing Tim and Dick snuck out and Conner ate all the lucky charms.”

“Okay, one of those things is not like the other,” Clark furrowed his brows, trying to see Bruce’s face. He didn’t get the chance to though, since he heard small feet bounding through the manor and he only had a few moments to brace himself before.

“Papa!”

Jon came running down the stairs, right into Clark’s outstretched arms. He lifted his son up so he was between the two of them, and Bruce gave the boy a tired smile and a kiss on the temple.

“I missed you, Papa,” Jon said, and Clark beamed.

“I missed you too, Sweetheart,” He held his youngest son close, rocking him gently like he used to when Jon was a baby. “Were you good for Daddy while I was gone?”

“Uh huh,” Jon nodded, and Bruce nodded behind his back.

“That’s my little guy,” Clark ruffled his hair, and moved to set him down. “Do me a favor, okay? Go let everyone know I’m home.”

“Okay!” Jon yelled as he ran back for the stairs, stumbling as he tried to go faster than his legs allowed.

“That’ll buy us at least a few minutes,” Clark said, rolling his eyes. “Let’s go sneak out before they get back.”

Bruce led the way up the stairs to the master bedroom, avoiding any children they almost encountered along the way. Jon was bouncing into everyone’s rooms, telling them that Papa was home. Bruce heard a pillow being thrown and someone groaning, but chose to ignore it in favor of five minutes alone with his husband.

“So how are Ma and Pa?” Bruce asked as he shut the door to their room.

“They’re perfectly fine,” Clark smiled as he started undoing his flannel shirt, revealing a plain white t-shirt underneath. “Miss you and the kids.”

“I’m sure the kids miss them too,” Bruce nodded. “I know Conner really wanted to go with you.”

“He can come with me and miss school when his grades are up,” Clark tossed his shirt towards the hamper.

“I think they’re working on that now,” Bruce explained. “But they can tell you all about that later.” He headed over to their bed and flopped face-down onto the mattress, still unmade and comfy from when he had woken that morning. He felt Clark on top of him, straddling his hips and sitting on his ass.

“They too much for you?” Clark asked, running a his hands over Bruce’s back.

“No,” Bruce said, and they never were. They might be difficult and make him crazy, but never too much. “Not sure what got into them today.”

“Forget all about them,” Clark said, massaging near the base of Bruce’s spine. Bruce smirked into the bedding before bucking his hips back a little so Clark would rise enough that he could roll over. He smiled up at his husband as he settled for sitting on his pelvis. “Let me help.”

Clark leaned over to give him a small peck on the lips, which became two pecks, then three.

“Door’s not locked, Clark,” Bruce whispered, smirking.

“Don’t care,” Clark whispered back, leaning in for another kiss.

But then the door opened and eight children and a butler were spilling into the room.

“Oh, gross,” Jason grimaced, standing in the doorway with Dick.

“Come on, guys,” Dick said, and Clark chuckled as he got off of Bruce to greet his kids.

“Relax, you two,” Clark rolled his eyes, helping Jon up onto the bed and into his lap. Damian scrambled up as well, snuggling under one of Clark’s arms without a word. “What’s this I hear about everyone fighting this morning?”

Four kids started talking at once, silenced only by Bruce holding up a hand.

“Can’t you all get along without me here?” Clark asked, raising a brow.

“Not the same without you here, Pop,” Conner said, taking the lead and sitting at the end of the bed. Tim flopped down beside him, the two still attached at the hip.

“Missed you boys too,” Clark handed off the youngest to Bruce and leaned forward to pull them both into a hug, one under each arm. Cass came forward next, giving Clark a kiss on the cheek and signing ‘I love you’ to him, which he returned. Duke also stepped forward, giving Clark a small smile, still not totally comfortable with his Kansas affection yet. “And you two?”

Clark raised a brow at the oldest still in the doorway. He got up to meet Dick halfway in a hug, taking note of the lose scarf Dick had on.

“What’s this I hear about you sneaking out?” Clark whispered, and Dick puffed out a breath. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

“Okay,” Dick nodded, stepping back so Jason could have a turn.

“Welcome back, old man,” Jason said, letting Clark embrace him.

“I do suggest we let your father get unpacked,” Alfred said, and Clark stopped himself from breathing a sigh of relief. He did miss his kids a ton, but sleeping alone was never great and he could use some time with his husband.

Before they could leave however, the dogs came bounding in and jumped onto the bed. Jon let out a laugh, Damian squealed, Tim and Conner sputtered as the dogs stepped on them. Even Bruce, who normally had a strict no dogs on the bed rule, just sighed and gave Clark a tired smile.

It was good to be home with his family again.