#I say while writing something completely unrelated to my story

[avaantares]

Yet another AO3 bot situation - please spread the word!

Hi, it's me again, the person who wrote that viral post about fanfiction plagiarism! Today I'm here to warn you about abuse perpetrated by bots who have stolen AO3 usernames.

There's currently an epidemic of bots going around leaving (apparently random) horrible, hateful comments on people's fics. This isn't the first time bots have invaded AO3, but the big problem with this wave is that they're using real AO3 usernames to do it.

I learned about this when another writer contacted me after receiving the following comment on their story:

Now, while that is my username, I DEFINITELY did not leave this comment (and anyone who would leave something like that on a fic should be slapped! What an awful thing to post). This fic is in a completely unrelated fandom that I have never participated in, nor has that author participated in any of my fandoms, so the probability of it being some intentional fandom drama thing to make me look bad is also low.

The writer whose fic the comment was left on enlisted the aid of some friends and tracked down other guest comments with unrelated usernames attached, which is pretty strong evidence that they are being left by bots at random.

The TL;DR: If you receive a cruel comment from a (Guest) with an actual AO3 username attached, it's most likely from a bot. Please do not lash out at or dogpile the AO3 user who owns that name, and who in all likelihood has no idea that their name has been hijacked for evil.

If finding this kind of comment on a fic, even left by a bot, is likely to upset you, I would recommend changing your comment settings so that only users who are logged in can leave comments. To do this, edit your story settings, and under "Privacy," select the radio button that says "Only registered users can comment," as shown below.

Please spread the word to other AO3 users! And if you see mean guest comments on other fics, maybe let the author know that it's probably from a bot and not a real person who thinks their writing is bad.

[cripplecharacters]

Regarding fictional disabilities: since there is no way to research a disability that doesn’t exist, how do you go about writing it in a way that makes it good rep and not offensive? For some context specific to my story, magic based abilities are biological rather than learnt and can manifest at any age, though if it develops at a young age it can cause development issues or brain injuries. One of my characters experienced this and developed a power that was psychological in nature, but because he was so young and couldn’t cope with the actual power, it left him with memory and intellectual problems. I was originally looking into stuff like dissociative amnesia or maybe even alzheimers but since the symptoms don’t fully line up I can’t just rely on it completely. My overall point here is that if resources for a fictional disability don’t exist, how can you write it while still taking into consideration real life disabilities? My bad if this is worded weirdly, I tried to keep it as specific as possible without delving into the full on details of the story and character. Have a nice day!:3

Hi!

First rule would be to not do harm. So not propagating misinformation or nonsense about the real life disabilities that the fictional one resembles (here that would probably be pediatric brain injury and/or intellectual disability). I don't think anyone expects realistic representation from a made up condition that they don't have but if you're deciding to associate it with one that's real, you have to be mindful of it. Even if it's a fictionalized version of a developmental disability you can't just go (example, not trying to insinuate you want to do that) "this character is an adult but is mentally 4 because of this fictional disorder that is made up and totally not close to anything IRL so it's ok to say", it would just look pretentious to pretend that it's something completely unrelated to a real disability if the character has symptoms that strongly align with one.

If your fictional condition is made of symptoms that exist in real life (but maybe not for the same reasons/don't really exist together) try to research them one by one. If he has memory problems, research how this specifically affects people with it - Alzheimer's comes with a myriad of other things that might give you an incorrect idea on how just that one symptom presents. For brain injuries, check what parts of the brain do what - damage to different parts might cause very different symptoms. You can read about this here in the context of strokes. Having an actual symptom list of things that your character has will be more helpful than thinking of it as "condition x if it was condition b/ condition c if it didn't have [major part]", even if that's how it's explained in-universe to help the other characters/readers get it - you as the author should know the ins and outs so that you can actually keep track of how your character functions and not have continuity errors.

It'd also be interesting to figure out what other symptoms this kind of scenario could cause that didn't happen to this one character (unless he's the only person this happened to). Developmental disability is a really big spectrum, and so are memory problems. I imagine that there would be other people more and less disabled than him who would have the same condition - this could affect how his is seen in-universe. Is he a very mild case, and not receiving the kind of support he needs because it's "not that bad"? Or is he on the severe end, and other people pity him and send condolences to his family? Think about the grander scheme of things.

I hope this helps,

mod Sasza

[thatacotargirl]

The Daughter of Day (2)

Welcome back to The Daughter of Day, a series exploring a new Court and a triad, because why not!

I hope you enjoy chapter 2 🌟

This story is set after A Court of Silver Flames.

My inbox remains open for oneshot/imagine requests.

Taglist: @fightmedraco @lilah-asteria @acourtofsmutandstarlight

A Reader x Feysand Fanfiction

Reader's POV

It had been over a week since my father had sent a request to Rhysand asking to host me as a visitor in Velaris, and we still hadn't received a reply. I knew it might take a while, with Rhysand being a High Lord and no doubt as busy as my father was most days, but I couldn't help the heavy feeling in my heart that I might be refused and I'd have to carry on living in Day. It wasn't that I disliked my home court - it had beauty to rival even the most glowing stars in the sky - but it was suffocating being trapped in the palace. Every morning I woke with no plans other than to walk the castle walls, hiding from the palace guards who would no doubt scoop me up and take me back to the safe confines of my bedroom if they found me. Every night, I'd fall asleep hoping my dreams would whisk me away to adventure, fun, freedom. Then, I'd wake up, and I'd do it all again.

Rhysand's POV

Rhys sat in his office sifting through endless piles of paperwork with a sigh. Azriel sat to his left, writing furiously into a notebook, his tongue sticking out slightly with concentration. Rhys chuckled inwardly, and rose from the desk, pacing around the office with his pen tapping against his thigh. He was feeling restless and couldn't quite put a pin on why. He was more than satisfied with his life as it was - he had a beautiful mate, a perfect son, a loving family, war had been won, and life was rebuilding. He had defied all odds and had come out stronger, despite the trauma that lingered below the surface. But, in spite of that, he felt like a part of him was missing. Like he had completed the puzzle that was him, his life, but there was one piece that he had overlooked and left the puzzle incomplete.

Shaking his head, he grabbed a handful of letters from the desk and began slotting through them, tossing the occasional one into the trashcan by his desk. Suddenly, one gold envelope caught his eye. He placed the pile back on the desk to hold the envelope with both hands, feeling the power of its author within. That heat, that sun, that all glowing all consuming power could belong to one High Lord, and one High Lord only - Helion. Rhys carefully opened the letter and reviewed its contents.

Dearest Rhysand, It was a pleasure to be hosted by yourself and your wonderful family this week; and the Day Court remains a staunch ally to you and your Court. I write on matters unrelated to alliance. My daughter, y/n, is finding herself lost amongst Day Court. I admit that I may have 'coddled' her, as one might say, but I did so for fear of her life and safety, and out of love. However, she now wishes to experience a world outside of my shining walls. Would you be so gracious as to allow y/n to visit Velaris for a period of time? I ask this as your ally, and friend, as I trust that y/n will be safe with you in your City of Starlight. Yours truly, Helion.

Rhysand was surprised at the request. Helion had kept his daughter hidden in the confines of the Day Court palace for 25 years, and was now allowing her to not only leave the palace, but leave the Court entirely? He shook his head, almost inclined to deny the request. He could not be responsible for y/n's safety, even if Velaris had the lowest crime rate of all Prythian. If something were to happen to y/n within his court, it could result in war and bloodshed. He took up his pen to write his reply, denying the request, but felt himself hesitate.

Rhys knew better than many what it felt like to be trapped. To feel as though your life wasn't your own to live because you were being held against your will, not able to spread your wings and explore, live, enjoy what this world had to offer. He sat as his hands touched the paper and he found his fingers moving on their own accord.

Dear Helion, The Night Court would be delighted to host y/n. She may stay at our River House for as long as she wishes. Please do send word of when we can expect her arrival and we will ensure that a room is prepared. Regards, Rhysand.

Reader's POV

With a sigh, you put away the book that was resting on your lap and head towards your bedroom. The book was a romance, one you had read so many times over that you were sure you could re-write it verbatim, where the protagonist pursues revenge against those who wronged him to win back his one true love. Whilst romance books were your guilty pleasure, a part of you would always feel sad that perhaps you might not get to experience romance like those you read. Although, maybe nobody did, and that's why the books were so popular - everyone pined to be desired in a way that could only be conveyed on the pages of a story, and not in real life.

As you rounded the corridor and headed towards your bedroom door, you were intercepted.

"Y/n, my darling! I have news from the Night Court".

Your head shot up to meet your father's eyes, your own no doubt full of hope.

"Rhysand has offered for you to stay at the River House in Velaris".

You felt your heart jump with joy and excitement. It was finally happening.

"When can I go?", you asked eagerly, already mentally packing your bags with your favourite dresses and shoes.

"Whenever you wish, my sunshine. I will gladly take you myself".

After giving your father a quick hug, you ran full pelt into your bedroom and grabbed a bag from the back of your closet. After packing a small bag of personal items, you gazed around the drawers and closets at your clothes and halted. The beautiful golden sundresses, flowing skirts and cropped t'shirts were perfect for Day Court, but you were almost certain that you might freeze in the Night Court, not to mention that you would stick out like a sore thumb. Feeling a presence enter your bedroom, you turn to see your father make his way to the edge of your bed.

"I will provide Rhysand with a stipend to cover the expenses of you living with them, and some extra to get yourself some more appropriate clothing", he winked. You smiled at him, grateful that your father somehow always knew what you were thinking without you needing to say it. You walk over to him and reach out to take his hand.

"Thank you, for everything", you say, as he pulls you in for a hug.

"Anything for you, my sunshine".

A moment passes and you find yourself wallowed by feelings of guilt. Guilt for wanting to leave the haven that he built for you. Guilt for wanting to explore without him. You were his only child, his pride and joy, and here you were wanting to leave the nest - and leave him behind in it. Sensing your change in emotions, Helion pulls back from the hug to stare sincerely at your face.

"You make me proud everyday, y/n. You have grown into a beautiful, wise, and kind young woman and I am so proud that you are my daughter. I want you to live the life you've always dreamed of, even if that means it isn't here with me. And, no matter what, I will always be here for you when you decide to return".

You can feel the tears falling steadily down your face as you silently sob. Even though this is what you wanted more than anything else in the world, it didn't make it hurt any less.

"Come, let's go now". Helion offers you his hand and you gladly accept it, picking up the one bag that you had decided to bring with you. With one last look at your bedroom, you offer your father a silent nod, and close your eyes as you feel his power surround you both and winnow you away from the Day Court. Away from home.

You arrive with a thump at the steps of the River House you had visited a few weeks prior, and Helion reached up to knock on the giant door. Waiting, you turn to eye to streets around you, watching the citizens of Velaris go about their days chatting happily and laughing. It was dusk by the time you had arrived, and people were bustling their way down towards the main town in search of food and entertainment for the evening.

The door opened and you turned back to see Feyre, High Lady of the Night Court, standing before you. Her sister, Elain, stood at her side. Both women were smiling.

"Y/n! Welcome back to Velaris! Come in, come in", Feyre gestures to the house, moving out of the doorframe. You move to enter, but stop when you realise your father isn't following.

"This is where I leave you, sunshine. But know I am always here if you need me, and I will come and visit you in a few weeks to see how you are getting on". You can see through the smile on his face right to the sadness in his eyes.

You feel the tears pricking your own eyes but you desperately fight them back, not wanting to cry in front of Feyre and Elain. You lunge forward into your father's arms and hold him, squeezing as tightly as you possibly can, before giving him a salute and walking into the River House. You didn't trust your words not to give away the tears or beg for him to take you back to the comforts of Day; but it seems that nothing slipped past Feyre, as she reached out to pull you into a hug of her own, Elain quietly closing the door behind you.

"I know how hard it can be to make that first step to independence, y/n, you don't have to fight your emotions for our sakes", she offered, stroking your hair and letting your cry quietly on her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so happy to be here, it's just harder than I expected".

You felt a hand rub your back and turned to see Elain, a sincere and kind smile on her face. You offered her a watery smile back.

"Come, let's get you cleaned up and then we can have dinner?" she asked, peeling you away from Feyre and guiding you up the stairs. You could hear commotion behind the various doors of the River House but Elain quickly led you to a door at the end of the hall. She opened it and you gasped, surprised to see that the room inside was decorated in the finest Day Court gold you had seen. You turned to Elain as she smiled.

"We figured it would be hard, leaving home for the first time, so we wanted to do something to help you settle. Helion sent us some furniture from your home and we added the rest, I hope it's ok?".

You nodded, completely speechless. Elain walked past you into the adjoining bathroom and began running you a bath as you emptied the contents of your bag. You placed the items around the room; the make-up on the vanity table, the books on your bedside, and the soft yellow blanket you'd had since you were a baby across the end of your new bed. You carried your few toiletries to the bathroom as Elain closed off the water, the smell of jasmine and honey wafting through the air.

"I hope you don't mind, I used my own bath oils as we didn't know what scent you'd like, but we have plans to go into Velaris tomorrow to buy you everything you need".

"We?", you asked.

"You, me, Feyre, and Mor!", she exclaimed excitedly. Her warming and happy energy made you want to smile.

"That sounds wonderful", you grinned back at her, "I haven't met Mor yet, she wasn't able to make the meeting when I was here last".

"You'll meet her tonight, she's coming to dinner. She's Rhys' cousin and lives not too far from here. She's also convinced everyone to go to Rita's tonight, but you don't have to join if you'd prefer to get some rest and settle in here".

"Rita's?"

"It's kind of like a club, Feyre and Mor love to go and dance, and Cassian usually causes some mayhem there. I don't often go but Feyre asked me to this time, she even went out of her way to get Amren to babysit Nyx instead of me!" Elain chuckled to herself. "I think it might be in case you wanted to come, they have a habit of drinking themselves into a bit of a stupor and might be a bit overwhelming to handle on your own".

"Nyx?", you asked, trying to remember the names of everyone you had heard of in the Night Court.

"Feyre and Rhysand's son", she paused, seeing the surprise on your face. "You know, maybe you should join us tonight if you're feeling up to it, you have quite a lot to catch up on!"

You couldn't help but return Elain's smile. Perhaps this would be a good way to get to know everyone and break the ice. "Sure, I'd like to join".

"Great! I'll let Feyre know and have her find some options for you to wear tonight. Speaking of, I'll go and find you some things to wear for dinner too - back in a moment" she smiled, and left the bathroom.

You undressed and climbed into the bath, big enough to fit at least another 4 of you in it, and sank down into the water, letting yourself soak away the emotions of the day. You couldn't help the smile that adorned your face, in spite of your lingering guilt and sadness at leaving your court behind. You had received such a warm welcome in Velaris and-

You heard a crash outside the landing, someone shouting and swearing, and a whole host of laughter as something transpired down the hall from your bedroom. You recognised the echo of Feyre's laugh and Elain's giggles, as a male - Cassian, perhaps? - swore like a sailor. You could pick out a few words; paint, prank, and glue.

You laughed and sank deeper into the water, regrouping your mind. It had been a busy enough day as it was, and it looked like it was only going to get busier still.

[darlinguistics]

'its just IMPOSSIBLE to not be addicted to your phone nowadays its UNREALISTIC-'

heres some advice to being less chronically online. for gen z (and younger??) who dont even know how to start thinking about it and have only heard shitty advice from older adults who just genuinely do not get it, from a fellow gen z and my experiences so far.

*these are personal and may not all 100% resonate but its still good prompting to start thinking about things! PLEASE feel free to add your own stories/advice in the notes! support your fellow humans, dont gatekeep what youve learned, lets have these conversations! and no negativity/pessimism please <3

first thing is to make it a less scary thought, a more concrete idea and not a hypothetical. it doesnt have to be all-or-nothing, cold turkey, a huge announcement and a fundamental shift in your personality. the internet will be in your life for the rest of your life, this is an ongoing relationship you are trying to make healthier thats all! and it takes one step at a time and some self-compassion, but a true effort nonetheless. 'dont you think thats a bit too serious-' if youre my age you quite literally grew up and developed online, it is literally part of your psyche the way your childhood is, it IS serious, you deserve to treat it seriously.

dont save your login info/dont stay logged in for social media accounts, having to manually log in when you want to go on like youre on some elementary school chrome book is a really healthy and clear boundary to have between being logged off and logged on.

-> bigger challenge - uninstall it on your phone in general, only log on on your laptop/pc if applicable for you!

if youre motivated to, try to work on your posture too. i only say that because most of our bad posture is at least partially related to being on our phones a lot, and when i started wanting to fix my posture, completely separately and unrelated from trying to break my phone addiction, it made it easier to lose interest in my phone since i didnt want to ruin my progress with my posture. it made me start to have a mindset like 'well if you cant do this on your phone with good posture then dont do it' and 'if youre on your phone so long your posture starts to cave in, youve probably spent too long on your phone anyway'

listen to music more. its easier for me to kinda write off my phone and do other things if i just open music or a podcast or long youtube video on it. i know we all love long video essays, but i recommend music more specifically for me at least because im less inclined to pause music or scroll while listening to it for some reason? whereas using a show or video or podcast for white noise, im way more likely to also be scrolling on my phone and that is my activity lol. music for some reason i dont want to interrupt and instead of being on my phone i can clean or do something productive on my computer etc

this one is sooo hard but try to fall asleep with some distance between you and your phone, even just a couple feet. mine stays on the desk next to my bed which isnt that far but its better than on bed like it used to be. when you wake up you probably wont feel like reaching for it right away if its far and even better if you have to get up for it because then at least you stand and move your body first thing instead of looking at your phone first thing. and try to get more and more of your morning routine done before touching your phone over time.

-> for me, i started by just trying to at least wake up a bit in bed before touching it, then stand up before touching it, then stand and stretch, then going to the bathroom first, making coffee first, feeding the cat first, etc. its surprisingly helpful to have a specific chore/task in mind that is The requirement so that everytime you do it you get a lil dopamine rush for unlocking your phone from yourself lmao. when the weather was nice i used to make my Requirement being outside first before going on it and i LOVED that. esp as it got easier and i started doing more and more before going on it and finally walking outside with coffee and my phone felt like such a pleasant little reward.

find a hobby that uses your hands. example: i really need to get back into knitting because when i did it regularly so much time that wouldve been on my phone was spent knitting with music/podcasts/shows/(even online lectures! when i felt productive lol) playing. its the same amount of physical relaxing - barely moving lol - but uses a longer attention span and a much better dopamine hit than scrolling, i literally MADE things.

-> you might be thinking, 'but mindless knitting isnt better than mindless scrolling is it?' but that mindless feeling on your phone is just that, mindless. the mindless feeling you get when doing something like knitting is actually closer to a flow state, which is actually incredibly good for you, like a fulfilling nutritious meal as opposed to 'empty calories' or whatever

get a widget for your homescreen that shows your screen time. i have one and of course it doesnt always stop me but seeing that time go up all day the more i use it and the pride of keeping it low is really helpful

practice grounding. in general.

spend more time on anonymous activities and have more privacy and less attachment with your 'persona' - what i mean by that is, i consider things like scrolling through tumblr (for me personally!) to be relatively harmless because i dont try to like,, brand myself here. if youre a tumblr regular you know the jokes - 0 follows, 0 notes, screaming to the void, moots you dont talk to, blorbo pfp and urls, fake names everywhere, and we're having fun! basically targeting the 'everyone is famous now' thing with this one - embrace being a nobody with no personal stakes here

-> personally ive never kept up with having social media accounts that are actually just, me irl - like a facebook or main instagram, like a locals account yknow? but i think it goes for that too - stop spending so much time trying to further personalize your online presence in the hopes of it representing you perfectly - because it never will, and it shouldnt, and you shouldnt aspire for that. your social media presence is lighthearted and incredibly surface-level, treat it like that! thats not me bashing social media either, having that mindset will make it more enjoyable bc youll be using it as it should be used!

do following/followers or camera roll/files or app purges. this is also a soft launch type of way to practice easing into a better mindset. aside from just literally getting rid of junk, the process of trying to judge whether or not you need something is good practice in mindfulness! even if you dont delete everything you feel like you maybe should, thats fine, youll do other purges in the future too. eventually youll get better at parting with things and realizing when things that feel good in a moment are actually bad for you. and it forces you to regularly check in on your more long-lasting parasocial relationships online and how theyre serving you or not

speaking of parasocial - for actual friends, if theyre irl, think about how much you interact with them online vs in person and why you think that is and how it affects you. maybe youll wanna see them more irl if possible (i promise its better for your friendship), maybe youll realize you dont need to keep tabs on them anymore (old high school acquaintances lookin at you). for celebrities and fandom things - try to think about the bare minimum content from them you could do with. you dont have to unstan all your faves and stop enjoying things - but do you need their notifications on? do you need to have a stan account? do you need them on all the platforms? do you need to have all that saved content of them? are there aspects of this that you love that could be found elsewhere?

if youre of the genre of online where you just cant help yourself from getting involved in big discussions or discourse and arguments - i recommend journaling when you get upset by something online, articulating your feelings without the idea of someone ever reading it and without the goal of 'winning' or being the most correct and logical or even the most sympathetic and morally good. take away every audience aspect of it. what is this really about for you, and why would strangers online deserve to hear your personal well-thought out opinions? why would your thoughts deserve to be simplified and misconstrued and underappreciated the way they would be in this discussion? is there even an outcome to this where you feel truly satisfied? are their people who are more worthy of hearing your thoughts who arent part of this audience? is this a conversation that is best held online where so much communicative nuance is inevitably sacrificed?

in the end these are all just practices in remembering how in control you are. and that goes for if any of these are scary or too difficult sounding too! these all become less scary if you remember that as soon as anything becomes too uncomfortable or painful, you have all the power to stop doing it, make a change, and try again later. so much of advice for quitting bad habits can be intimidating because the pressure and the shame that would come from failing scares you out of the possible benefits of trying - just go ahead and kill that shame from the jump. of course youre going to fail! you are going to have setbacks! thats part of it! you have agency in this, always. the internet is not inherently or completely evil nor good. build trust in yourself to make the calls on when it is serving you and when it isnt on a case-by-case basis, and then give yourself permission to learn through trial and error.

and remember you are worth all of this effort. i believe in us <3

[esamastation]

Is there a specific writing formula or something you do or research while or before writing one of your fanfics? You have such a unique writing style that ive seen only a few others have and i’d like to emulate it and add my own touch to it, Thanks alot! ❤️

Not really. I'm not sure what my style really is. I guess I just write stuff that catches my interest and I wanna explore and that naturally leads to world building and research?

It really depends on the fanfic and what is is about. Sometimes I've randomly gone on a research binge for reasons unrelated to fanfiction and then end up enjoying the subject so much that I end up writing fanfiction about it (like, say, hydroponics. I was into it way before writing about it.) Sometimes story goes down a certain path and something comes up I wanna dig deeper into in writing and I want to least try to be accurate and realistic and so down the Wikipedia/YouTube/etc drain we go. Realisim adds nice flavour to a fic, I think, even when it's about complete nonsense otherwise.

Once nimadge and I looked through like actual historical papers and books for historical accurace, and it was barely mentioned in the fic - but it was fascinating stuff otherwise. I figure that kinda of research is pretty normal for writers. Gotta look up 4 different things and a lecture for one factoid that ultimately doesn't even matter in the grand scheme of things

Depending on the mood, I just generally write stuff that's new and shiny and interesting to me, stuff I can fixare on. I guess that's what comes across in my style. Plus, I got almost 3 decades of writing under my belt at this point, so... practice and writing what I'm into, what makes me curious, what makes me wanna learn more, just to see how stuff affects other stuff down the line. Idk. I've never been good at explaining how I write.

"Write what your know" is meh. "Write what you want to know more about" is where it's at.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

am i the assshole for softblocking a person (and… existing, apparently)?

so this requires a bit of a backstory. recently i realized that i hadn't seen a certain mutual (person A) on my dashboard for a bit. i decided to go check their blog directly. when looking for it, however, no results were returned. curious, i went to check on a reserve tumblr account i made when my main got nuked, and this person did not delete their blog, they blocked my main. that seemed weird, because i don't remember any negative interactions with them, but i can be hotheaded and say things i later regret, so it wasn't implausible i said something to upset them. i decide to check the blog of a different person (person B) who i know is friends with the aforementioned one, and that person has me blocked as well. "that's not a coincidence", i think, and after sitting on it for a bit i decide to ask a third person, who was friends with both of them, and whom i consider my friend as well, whether i have done something that might have upset them at any point. they tell me that no, there isn't anything like that they can recall. after explaining what prompted this, i received an explanation that frankly baffled me.

turns out, person B was quite distressed with things related to me. according to them, i was an incredibly cool person who everyone was friends with, but i blocked them for no apparent reason and everyone kept discussing just how cool i am, which led to them feeling invalidated and upset. i should clarify, that i did block one of person B's sideblogs on which they post fanfiction for the fandom we're both in, because i wasn't quite comfortable seeing the kind of stories they write and it showed up in character name search if i didn't block the blog. i did not permablock their main blog, but i did softblock it a couple times because again, i'm not completely comfortable with what they write and would rather avoid interactions with them after finding out. i did not have any particular feelings about them as a person, because we barely ever interacted. and while i would not say that i am lame or something like that, i am also not nearly as cool as person B felt. there is a non-zero amount of people who either have me blocked or don't follow me back, and i rarely post original content, most of my blog is just reblogs of memes or other people's creations. i am a perfectly ordinary tumblr user. but i caused them enough distress that they chose to leave a discord server they were in because they talked about me so much, and for some other personal reasons i'm not quite sure about.

recently, i joined the guild and the server this person was claiming was so fond of me -- partially to see for myself how much people really mentioned me, but also for unrelated reasons. being the nosy person i am, i ran my name through the search function on discord. there was a total of six messages mentioning me in that server. in a total of four conversations. so i have been individually brought up 4 times. which apparently equates to a three hour conversation about me, according to person B.

to clarify, i am not saying person B's feelings are unreasonable -- i do know what it's like to feel ignored or outshined by someone, but i don't think i have personally contributed significantly to them feeling this way, nor do i think they interpreted any of my actions correctly.

so, aita for curating my dash and being brought up in a discord server half a dozen times? i genuinely can't tell.

What are these acronyms?

[whoopsyeahokay]

Housekeeping 7

October Sun

hello beautiful people,

so. i received a comment on my most recent update of October Sun (Wally Clark x fem!reader) that brought to my attention that some of you may not have been anticipating a story of this magnitude. that is, a story with a very involved, twisty plot that puts the eventual smutty smut smut at at least 4 parts away.

i have two things to say about this.

a) i did advertise at one point that this plot is DENSE. i'm here to tell a story that exploded on the inside of my skull and it refuses to be anything less than what it is. it explains a lot of canon mysteries as well as neatly ties a bow on the series, tying off all loose ends so that this story finishes on a hopeful note. but look, if you're not down for the journey, i'm sad to see you go, but i get it.

and, b) if any of you (who aren't the commenter—i'm salty af) would like to see some plotless smut, either based in this 'verse or completely unrelated, i have stated in the past that i'm open to requests. i do prioritize this story, but i have time on my hands, guys, and i'm not always inspired to write for October Sun.

i've deleted the comment. it was short 'n' sweet and i interpreted it for what it was: someone whinging about my pacing. i'm ngl, it stung. up until now, i've been excited to write and share this story, but that comment hit vulnerable flesh and now i'm not sure how i feel. while this story is predominantly for me, i've also really enjoyed the reaction to it that i've received and i want to give you guys something worth reading. something that i'm proud of and that you enjoy.

i hope, moving forward, i can do that for those of you who stick around 🫶

[crazylittlejester]

A warriors…meets…cia again fic???

hold up lemme just—-

😎

😳🕶️🤏

he is only ten years old jes. Devastating. (*adds it to my future a03 bedtime stories to-read later*)

it was like a four word prompt sent in by an anon that’s grown into a huge multi chapter thing because I didn’t expect it to get as long as it has and now I’m realizing I have to break it up into chapters 😭 I’ve literally been working on it for like… five months, poor Mandarin Wars Anon has had to deal with my dumb ass getting too carried away with things and I’m so grateful for their patience 😭 It’s been scrapped and completely rewritten at MINIMUM like six times now, the plot has been COMPLETELY changed, it’s been a wild ride 😭 I’m sticking it in my ‘You’re A Part Of Me’ series which has been a bit fun because i get to drag little elements from past fics in that series into this one. small enough things that someone who hasn’t read the series won’t feel like theyre missing something but people who HAVE might recognize the reference

the plot has sort of turned into a murder mystery almost… im losing my mind, genuinely, i’ve put so much time into this fic

it’s also something i’ve been struggling with the rating on for months, because while I do not write explicit things (because that is my personal preference), the themes are a bit heavy, and because of that I decided I’ll be raising the rating to M. Which has also just allowed me to add in other things unrelated to the initial reason I was worrying over the rating and not worry about thinking “is this too violent-“. A while ago I considered writing two versions of the fic because I know a lot of people who’d been following me back when I got that prompt in the first place were really really excited about it, but that’s a lot of editing and I’m not sure how many people are still that into it 😭 So i’ll probably do a poll or make a post or SOMETHING to see if people would want a T rated version, if enough people do I’ll edit the fic

to be so so clear tho: the main reason this fic is going to be rated M is because of heavy themes, heavy discussions, and trauma related to a past event, i just wanted to play it safe. since deciding i was going to rate it higher, ive allowed myself to throw in more detailed descriptions of violence and nightmares and shit like that. and the main part of the fic that made me first think i should bump the rating up is going to have like *** in the text before and after it so people can just skip that if they want, cos if I’m gonna write a fic about trauma, then i’m gonna write a fic about trauma. and this is my free therapy so 🕺🕺🕺

anyways, i don’t wanna say it because i feel like then it’s just not gonna happen, but I’m hoping and PRAYING i can post the first chapter when Mandarin Wars Anon gets back 😭 fingers fuckin crossed. AND THE FIC ACTUALLY HAS A NAME NOW, WHICH IS FUCKING CRAZY AFTER FIVE MONTHS OF JUST CALLING IT “Mandarin Wars Anon’s Fic”

also i’ve been debating letting Time just go absolutely batshit towards the end of this fic because he kinda deserves it, as a little treat, yknow?

i really hope it lives up to the expectations🧍‍♂️ ive felt a lot of pressure while working on this cos so many people have gotten excited for it and im a BIT worried its just going to absolutely suck, so if i drop it and disappear off the face of the earth for a bit its because the anxiety ate me alive

[xxsksxxx]

Almost Heaven

Summary:

Mulder’s attempt to find more exciting cases to investigate while stuck in the bullpen turns into another weekend trip to the forest.

Meanwhile, Scully is faced with a tempting offer that could change both her future and their lives.

Notes:

This little story has been stuck in my head for almost a year. It’s taken more than one change of direction over the last months until I was happy with where it was going. I hope you'll enjoy reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it.

And if you want to leave kudos or a comment—no matter if it’s an emoji or several long paragraphs—that would make my whole month.

I also want to say a huge THANK YOU to the wonderful @baronessblixen!

If it hadn’t been for her, and her constant encouragement to continue working on this story and her questions about its progress, I'm sure this story wouldn't be the same. Your input and excitement for this spark of an idea during a Sunday evening chat about something completely unrelated was invaluable. Thank you, my friend!

This story is complete, and I’m going to post one chapter a day.

AO3 | @today-in-fic

Chapter 1: To the Place I Belong

J. Edgar Hoover Building, Washington, D.C. FBI Headquarters – Bullpen Friday, November 27th, 1998, 3:30 pm

“Any plans for the weekend, Scully?” Mulder placed a sunflower seed between his teeth and looked at Scully questioningly. He leaned back in his desk chair, slowly bouncing backward and forward, returning Scully’s questioning glance with an innocent look.

Mulder was completely bored after spending days doing nothing but paperwork and sorting files. He knew Scully was bored too, even though she didn’t mind doing reports half as much as he did.

Scully reached for her coffee cup and sipped the hot liquid, closing her eyes in appreciation. Mulder grinned; he loved watching Scully enjoy her coffee. Mulder could tell she was frustrated by their punishment, which was exactly what was happening. They were being punished. This was also why he had started making an extra effort to get her a cup of coffee just like she wanted every morning and afternoon. She had stoically navigated his frustration with their current situation over the last few months, keeping him in line. And it hadn’t been that long ago that he had had to reassure her that she played a major role in his life. If getting the perfect coffee for her made her happy, he was all for it.

Scully opened her eyes and hummed appreciatively before looking back at him, and he gave her a knowing look. She blushed a bit but didn’t avoid his gaze, her eyes full of warmth. “Did you finish calling the letters ‘H’ and ‘I’ already, or are you planning on spending YOUR weekend catching up?” she quipped and turned back to her keyboard.

“I don’t care about any ‘E’s and ‘I’s. No one is going to follow up on this, anyway. They just want to keep us busy and off any real cases!” he said emphatically, pushing off the floor with his foot and bouncing his chair back and forth again.

“’H’ and ’I’, Mulder. Not ’E’ and ’I’. You did the ’E’s’ last week already. Remember that report I had to rewrite for you because you couldn’t help but add your opinion on why you consider this pointless?” Scully took a new file off of the pile and gave it a cursory glance before sighing.

“Aha! See? You’re just as bored by this as I am, Scully!“

She slowly rotated her shoulder and neck before turning back around to him. “I never said I wasn’t. Of course, this is pointless. None of these people ever so much as stole a chewing gum, much less organized a terrorist attack. But the more we protest, the longer they’re going to keep us assigned to this, and we’ll never get the X-Files back.” She gave him a sympathetic look. “Let’s just focus on getting this over with. If we keep our feet still long enough, they might trust us with the X-Files again.” She smiled tightly, and he knew she was trying to sound confident.

He gave her a long look before sighing and turning back to his overflowing pile of folders. “I hope you’re right, and we’re not wasting our time expecting they’ll forget about us.”

He knew Scully was hoping for the same. He despised sitting around, working on senseless tasks, following up on even more useless information when he could be on the road or talking to people who had actually seen something related to the truth.

“Well, at least Kersh didn’t make you recheck your report this time. Maybe he’ll give up sooner than later,” Scully joked, looking away from her monitor for a second.

“Yeah. By the way, thanks for going over it. I doubt I’d have gotten the same reaction to my original draft. You’re a lifesaver!” Mulder gave her a half-smile and pursed his lips.

She returned his smile with one of her own before turning back to her task.

“So, about those weekend plans—” Mulder began, only to be cut off by the ringing of his phone. “Hello?” he said into the receiver, grimacing at Scully when he recognized the voice of Kersh’s assistant. “Yes, we’ll be right there,” he clipped before hanging up and getting up from his chair, grabbing his jacket. “We’re expected in the Deputy Director’s office asap, Agent Scully,” he parroted, not waiting for her before taking off towards the open reception area of Kersh’s office.

He could hear Scully sigh, but she followed him without comment. What now? he wondered. Nothing good ever came out of being called into their boss’s office.

Office of Deputy Director Alvin Kersh

“Have a seat, Agents,” Kersh greeted them without looking up from his note-taking. His tone was as unreadable and impersonal as ever.

Mulder glanced at Scully, but she wordlessly took one of the two seats in front of their boss's desk.

The minutes passed slowly, and Mulder counted the ticking of the analog clock hanging on the wall at the side of the office, which signaled the passing of time. Kersh was making them wait, and Mulder hated every second of it. Just as he opened his mouth to ask if they were keeping him from his work, Kersh looked up and put his pen aside.

“I have a new assignment for you,” he began, giving them both a calculating look. When neither agent reacted, he slid a thick brown folder across the desk towards them. “There have been reports of some nighttime activities down at the Waterfront Resort. I want you to investigate those reports and ensure that nothing illegal is going on there.”

Mulder reached for the file and started to read the top sheet. The more he read, the angrier he got. “Nighttime activities, sir? From what I’m reading here, there have been reports of some kids staying out past their curfew down there. That’s not an actual assignment, a security guard could easily take care of this.” He angrily snapped the file shut and threw it back on the desk.

Kersh’s eyes narrowed, and his tone became even colder if that was possible. “What is an assignment and what isn’t is still something for me to decide, Agent Mulder. Are we clear on that?”

Scully quietly cleared her throat and reached for the folder. “Yes, sir. Agent Mulder and I will take care of this.” She quickly got up from her chair, placing her hand on Mulder’s arm.

Kersh nodded, his eyes still piercing Mulder’s with a cold glare. “Very well, Agent.” He took his pen back in his hand and began writing again, dismissing them wordlessly.

Mulder stood up abruptly, and for a moment he was tempted to have Kersh have it. He was so tired of being roadblocked every step of the way. A gentle squeeze of Scully’s hand on his arm kept him quiet, though, and with a last glance at their boss, he turned around and headed for the door.

FBI Headquarters – Bullpen

Mulder watched as Scully sank into her office chair, her exasperation clear. Another day, another senseless task, he thought.

Mulder frustration was close to exploding. The longer they worked under Kersh, the worse it seemed to get. Scully glanced over at him, and Mulder realized he had been morosely staring at his monitor. He started to bounce his leg, trying to get rid of some of his anger. He’d definitely have to go for a long run tonight, he mused, or his head would explode.

“Mulder, stop fidgeting!” Scully slapped her hand on his bouncing knee, forcing the offending appendage to stop moving.

Mulder sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, trying to stay still. “I just hate this, Scully. We’ve been sitting around, doing nothing, for weeks now.” He slowly moved his head from his left shoulder to his right, trying to stretch out the stiff muscles. “And now this! We both know this assignment is just to keep us sidelined. I don’t know how long I can stand waiting around! What are they even planning to do with us at this point?”

Scully nodded, her own frustration evident. “I don’t know, Mulder. I just know fidgeting is not going to change anything. What I do know, however, is that we have to play along for now, or this is going to escalate even higher up, and then we won’t ever get the chance to get the X-Files back.”

Mulder turned to face her directly. “It’s just so frustrating! We should be investigating real cases, not watching some teenagers commit the unspeakable crime of underage drinking.”

Scully gave him a sympathetic look. “I know, Mulder. And I’m just as frustrated as you are. I didn’t choose the FBI to do this kind of grind work either. I want to find the truth just as much as you do.”

Mulder didn’t reply, his eyes firmly fixed on Kersh’s reception area, where the Deputy Director had just appeared and had started laughing with his assistant. Mulder deflated once again, dropped back in his office chair, and gave Scully a pointed look. Kersh had them right where he wanted them.

Scully returned his look grimly before turning back to the folder with their assignment and started rubbing her temples.

He watched her for a few long moments before jumping up and grabbing her arm, pulling her with him. She let him drag her out of her chair, hissing, “Mulder, what are you doing?!” while taking a cursory glance around the large office space. No one was paying them any attention.

Mulder reached for his jacket from the back of his chair, shrugging it on. “This assignment is going nowhere. I’m pretty sure no one has even glanced at this file in the last several weeks. Let’s get out of here, Scully.” He grabbed his keys from his desk and slipped them into his pants pockets before putting his arm on her shoulder, squeezing softly.

She gave him a long look before sighing. “Might as well,” she added, grabbing her coat and putting it on.

Mulder placed his hand against her lower back, and together they walked down the hallway towards the elevator.

[mikodrawnnarratives]

OK

Before I talk a LOT (I'm not joking, A LOT)

About this au, how I stumbled upon the idea, story and all in a rushed format,

APPRECIATE THIS

TOOK FOREVER

COMPLETELY out of my general comfort zone in art BUT OH WELL LOOK AT IT :DDDDDDDD

Also serves as a good hook for what this post is about mehehehehehehehe

CUT TO RAMBLINGS

Oh I have your attention?

Excellent.

It started with me thinking and wondering about a specific fic that is unrelated to this post, frankly different fandom, and I was wondering how it would play out in a movie format, but seeing as the fic in question currently is unfinished and won't be for a while I decided to direct my attention to other fandoms, got to DCA fandom, came up with a few cute ideas i didn't write down for unfinished fics, for the record I do think it would be interesting if Solar Lunacy was a musical just saying, and then I started to think about ok what fics ARE fini-

SLEUTH JESTERS HECK YEAH

Unfortunately at the moment I don't have any digital sketches to share for some of these points and the sketches I do have are pretty messy SO I'LL JUST RAMBLE cause I already wrote down a lot of these separately

Firstly, I imagine this kind of musical being in universe kind of au. Possibly an extension of the Actor AU where the original media (tv show? movie?) got so popular it got a musical adaptation

I imagine the actual music, whether the songs or just sound track, would be heavily inspired by Jazz or smthn. Like, the genre of music most popular during the time period Sleuth Jesters is in ish. It would still be musical-like but you can tell the genre they are going for

And before continuing, to get around not actually saying "y/n" on stage cause that might be a little awkward MAYBE there could be some kind of special sound affect for the actors mics that the audience knows is y/n's name?? Half baked tho

COSTUMES

Sun, Moon and Eclipse (at least) would have highly decorated masks to match the original just added onto because they are on stage. Masks, so that there are more options for who to cast. To make up for this, the actors have to make it clear in their body language to make up for lack of expression

in productions with higher budget mayhaps one function could be the eyes have options for what emotion they could express

In most productions there will be sound effects in the background that mimic the noise that Sun Moon and Eclipse make as they move. Or at least be incorporated into the sound track ooooo

Y/n's clothes would have an easy to notice difference in quality compared to the DCAs, which makes the bell and ribbons much more noticeable on stage

Smaller note but I think y/n's make up could be kind of fun with how they show the y and n on their face

Would probably have a wig colored various shades of silver but not required

FIRST SONG FIRST SONG FIRST SONG

Would be the introduction (of course) and depict the first chapter and likely have something to do with "Until Next Time". I think possibly it would have little breaks in the song to fit in the dialogue

Honestly, in an adaptation there might just be more scenes added between the earlier chapters to fill in points in time or smthn

OR (the answer I like better) The first act uses time between chapters to fill in reader watcher on backstories or past's of characters

Actually yeah little hints would be packed in the first half

Any other songs could be filled in for the boys or y/n that could have the potential to return as a Reprise

Now listen Mandatory Eclipse Villain song(s)

this is not optional

Duets Duets DUETS

One duet could be between characters that are foils or mirror each other but it's one of those duets that have different lyrics that still match up musically

Particularly I think the latter could be used for Sun and Moon's complicated relationship with Eclipse but not completely sure where that would be, probably second half, speaking of which...

ACT ONE ends in the chapter that Y/N has to return the favor to Eclipse, where he crashes the party and they go with him, reassuring Sun and Moon that they allways can wiggle out of situations

REPRISE OF THE FIRST SONGGGGGG

Until Next Time Reprise

Which will have a moment of silence after, showing their mutual understanding yet make it perfectly clear sun and moon don't want to do resort to this

Doesn't last to long as it proceeds with the sound track DROPPING in tone as Eclipse stuffs y/n into the car, that is actually just a prop that leads to the back stage

FADE TO BLACK INTERMISSION

ACT TWO (any major costume changes or forever hold your piece) I think would start off with Sun and Moon's dilemmas first before getting back to y/n

WHICH would likely cut to y/n maybe already in the burgundy shirt but meh that's not solid

I think the way Eclipse gives them the burgundy ribbon and bell could be changed in an adaptation of the story since it would be easier I imagine to show it later than in a car set piece

(Admittedly I have to reread these specific chapters to know specifically the order) But when Eclipse drops the bombshell he knows their past, and I think he leaves them alone for a bit after that, SONG TIME (though song could still happen with him there honestly)

Something similar to the theme "I thought I burned everything" and would just

And after that likely more backstory could be cut to depending on what it is and how relevant it is at that point. WOuld be much grimmer in tone but hey it's the second act.

Though if this opportunity is taken, this could be reprised later when Y/N proposes to the boys, with the necklaces to show being more comfortable with their past

More song opportunities with Y/N's trust issues, Sun and Moon's brother issues, etc

Final act-ish, where y/n first runs away after Sun and Moon "find out" and from there would have more focus on the score than any songs that could be fit into that small frame.

My thoughts went kind of to Heather's Dead Girl Walking Reprise and then Veronica and JD's tussle toward the end if songs got implemented there

AND OF COURSE The moment of Eclipse's death is really what makes me think this would be adapted into a musical in universe

Because it does kind of fit the bill for being tragic

You feel bad enough for what could have been

But also remember "Nah that bitch deserves it"

But also.. it's sad

PERFECT FOR MUSICAL ENDING

ish

After proposal, there is possibility to do a QUICK little glance into the future at the end, not unlike Dear Evan Hansen's ending, but maybe not

Ok now Applause section!!

Freddie and Gregory would bow together

I forgot to mention earlier, but the character that is revealed to be a spy for Eclipse at the police station I'd imagine would have hints on their clothing (like burgundy) that would foreshadow their side

Eclipse would bow by himself, flaunty as ever, yet you can still kind of tell the actor is kind of a sweetheart

Sun and Moon would enter, bow together and then welcome Y/n

Who would get to bow on their own, then with Sun and Moon

Then the rest of the cast is welcomed

How the arrangement would go from left to right I was thinking

Law Enforcement and basic background cast making up crowds, Freddy, Gregory, Sun, Y/N, Moon, Eclipse, Michael, Other Aftons and Spy, rest of Law Enforcement and basic background cast making up crowds

AAAAAaaand thats what I've got.

@naffeclipse did you catch all of that?

and @sunnys-aesthetic for their detective au! :3

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/744655651809247232/honestly-as-a-diaspora-hyphenated-american-not-a?source=share

Remove "white" and replace "publishing" with everyone, and we're getting closer.

Diaspora in my experience are a lot more anal about "authenticity" and accuracy. The white people who care about it normally just parrot what the diaspora are saying without questioning it. The greatest sin is honestly that white people, but honestly everyone else as well, parrots "diaspora" without even caring about all the different opinions on topics or understanding it. Random diaspora said something with big words? Let's amplify it and spread it as gospel. There's this token diaspora, or the token diaspora group, and that's who now matters forever.

Diaspora put themselves up to the nigh unattainable measure of accuracy which even mainlanders don't hold themselves to. Mainland books can often end up with a lot more diversity, because they don't feel the need to be accurate, because everyone already lives that accuracy. Diaspora culture is a culture that many diaspora almost try to reject, and badmouth what diaspora culture is, and then try to get as close as possible to what they believe is authentic.

If a diaspora doesn't have much cultural authenticity, who'll notice? Completely unrelated to the culture people? Or will it be fellow diaspora who might have an idealized view on the mainland culture and therefore demand every diaspora do it justice? Maybe the diaspora are so anal about the authenticity because they still want to cling to the "pure" culture of the mainland, untainted by being diaspora, and they miss the mark.

White people, and "Outsider" diaspora might not even know enough about mainland culture to really have an opinion. They probably won't know and understand cultural quirks, habits, traditions, cultural events and festivities, and more, but you know who does? Other diaspora. Other diaspora will notice if you represent a certain cultural event "wrong." They'll notice if you take "too many" liberties in your reimagining, or if you take inspiration from cultural stories. Diaspora might be much quicker to criticize eg diaspora food culture for not being authentic enough. While mainlanders might be much more laidback. Which has been an ongoing debate for years.

Any white person, or once again "other" diaspora will just parrot what they hear. It's the diaspora who set the tune for march. Some even accidentally, or on pupose, overstepping into other cultures to make it a general issue, instead of a personal issue.

Many diaspora also write FOR diaspora. Stories about young diaspora children trying to figure out life as a diaspora? How it affects you living between two cultures? Books about understanding the culture as a diaspora? Navigating racism? Books which explains cultural events in great detail, which a mainlander wouldn't need because they and everyone around them live it actively? Books covering stories around not feeling lesser because your culture isn't the dominant one? Handling the rejections of your own culture because of majority-peer pressure? Maybe it's even a story set in the mainland, but with heavy tones of the experiences of a diaspora, which you wouldn't find in mainland stories. And obviously as mentioned all the quirks and traditions brought from the mainlands.

I can obviously just speak from a very shallow experience, but that's how I see it.

--

I do think that some diaspora might have a higher demand for accuracy and authenticity though, through the experience of having their culture messed and misrepresented by American media. Alternatively having observed other mainland cultures in that spot, and wanting to ensure that theirs doesn't end up in that same situation of being messed with, by outsiders or people who do not understand nor care, and just create cultural slop through wilful ignorance. This could lead to holding a higher standard for their fellow diaspora, because there's the expectation of knowing better, and being better, so you have to do everything to avoid messing it up like you'd have seen in mainstream American entertainment by outsiders. You end up with an artificial hurdle created by people who didn't understand your culture, but still affected diaspora enough to make that need for authenticity and accuracy a high priority.

I think a lot of how diaspora stuff plays out is directly connected to people feeling rejected by both the old culture and the new one.

[mypoisonedvine]

I hate hate hate having to talk about this stuff because I know 98% of y'all are not the problem, and the remaining 2% are probably not going to care in the slightest. but I need to set some boundaries and explain why I'm getting frustrated before any more resentment builds.

I've been writing for cillian murphy characters since july 26 when I posted 'thoughtless', since then I've released well over one hundred thousand words of content for him. I'm not exaggerating, I counted. it's been five and a half weeks and I've posted 14 full-length one shots which means I'm posting more than twice a week. that's not even including drabbles/requests.

I'm getting concerned that this has set a precedent that people are holding me to and I'm getting annoyed by the entitlement in some of my asks and comments.

first things first, and I know nobody means anything bad by this but it's pissing me off: stop using the phrase "full smut" in your requests, it's driving me crazy. this started abruptly after I posted a bunch of drabbles in one sitting based on y'all's ideas and requests. I did that as a way to try out new ideas and appease people who hadn't had their concepts written about yet. instead of people being happy with what I wrote for them, people got frustrated that the drabbles were drabble-length and not thousands of words long like my full fics (which take me several days to write, rather than an hour or less which is the point of short requests). ever since, people won't stop coming into my inbox talking about making a "full smut" for a certain character or idea as if they're terrified that I'll only post something short. I usually don't post short things. I feel now like those drabbles were a colossal waste of time because all they did was make people afraid I wouldn't write longer stuff; I wanted to open requests again because I had fun, but now I feel like it's a bad idea because it'll just leave people frustrated when they see it's not whatever a "full smut" is and then tell me it's incomplete and I need to write more. a short drabble can very well be a complete story. stop asking for "full smut" PLEASE. just tell me what you're interested in reading and trust that, as the author, I will tell the story in the correct length of time.

secondly, the way people are asking for stories about new characters is getting out of control. I think you guys don't realize that I only post less than half of the asks I get, because they are so repetitive and constant. I have literally over 2000 unanswered asks currently. if I answered all the asks I received, I would lose followers because it clogs the dash and half of them are the same questions.

and I'm just gonna say this one explicitly: please stop asking me to write for cillian's character in the movie 'anna'. I'm not saying that I won't or that I don't want to. but I need you to understand that I get easily 3-5 asks a DAY about this character and I am exhausted. I'm not particularly interested in watching the movie. not only does it look like it's probably just not that good, but on a very personal note, I am in recovery for an eating disorder (and relapsed recently) and I just... don't wanna watch a movie with a runway model in the leading role right now. I'm sorry if that feels like body shaming or something but I've been waiting until I feel like I can watch it without feeling sick or enraged. it should come as a surprise to no one who is familiar with my work that I'm not a particularly mentally healthy person. but that's only part of it; I answered asks about this character for a while saying I wanted to write for him eventually, but I had to stop because people just asked about him every day anyways without reading my very recent posts with the same question. I'm still not ruling it out. I'm just warning you guys that it will be a while.

people are now commenting requests for new characters ON MY CURRENT FICS FOR UNRELATED CHARACTERS. how entitled and dense do you have to be to do that? I can't believe this has to be said, but comments on my fics should be... related to the content of the fic you're commenting on.

to be clear, I'm not mad at anyone for doing this stuff (except that last one, that's unforgivably ridiculous) because I think the intentions are pure. but now that I've explained why this stuff bothers me, I'm asking you to put a little more thought into how you phrase your questions and comments. to be clear: for the most part I feel incredibly supported and appreciated here and I've been very impressed by this fandom's ability to not be morality police and manage their own content consumption. a lot of you have reached out with concern about the speed at which I was producing and I totally understand and value that. I honestly think I can keep up that pace for a little while longer... I just wanted to explain why I'm getting a little irritated and hopefully decrease the amount of asks I get repeating the same two or three things.

so, tl;dr -- I've been having a lot of fun writing and I plan to keep doing it as much as I can. some people are spoiling the fun for everyone by being (usually unintentionally) entitled and impatient. I don't mind you guys showing enthusiasm for things you'd like to see from me, in fact it's helpful because it tells me what might get a good reception. but please be thoughtful in how you make these requests and please support what I've already written if you want to see more. I think non-writers have a hard time understanding how inspiration works (hell, even writers don't really understand it in ourselves lol) and so it kinda just seems like if I can write about one thing I can write about any thing. but I only write so much and so fast because I write what speaks to me and not other people's ideas. again, thank you so much for all the love and support this past month!!

p.s. I also get asks multiple times a day asking when I will post a fic, especially if I've announced it. I always post fics between 4 and 5 PM central US time. I would recommend calculating when that is for you and I promise you'll find me posting very reliably at this time on days I have fics announced. hopefully this saves us all some trouble in the future lmao

[forbidding-souda]

Mod Souda!~ I have never requested fic before, this is entirely new territory so please forgive me if I misstep. ^_^; Could I please request HC's regarding Korekiyo x autistic S/O? I tried finding similar in the master list, alas I could not which is completely on me if I wasn't thorough enough.

A little afterword of gratitude also for your masterful works on Korekiyo in particular, the way you HC him is beautiful. He is my ultimate comfort character and your content is poignant for me. I also wish you the absolute best on finals and in life in general! (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)♡ I hope you are faring well. Thank you for all that you do here

Shinguuji Korekiyo with Autistic S/O

I've had this blog since quarantine so I can't even remember if I've written anything like this so I'm happy to write one for you regardless or not if it's a repeat.

Hai guys I don't have my edited sprites anymore bc I deleted them awhile ago so here's normal souda. Also if this is ass then my bad

hashtag actually autistic btw for anyone reading, i think it's right to share that when I write these ofc

okay mod souda behavior here where I say random stuff before each story but I'm watching impractical jokers rn and I don't know how some people watch this because the secondhand embarrassment is insane I literaly have to look away PLZZZ. This took an hour to write because half way through I started watching impractical joker clips on youtube (while the show is playing on the tv)

-Mod Souda

♥ He isn't a stickler about your interests. A good thing about being with him is that he won't make fun of you for anything you enjoy, no matter if he enjoys it himself or not. He'll never ask you to turn a movie off or to stop talking about something. He knows more than anybody else how isolating it can feel when somebody refuses to try and tolerate other people's passions; he would never put you down.

♥ He's naturally off-putting. If you experience people considering you off-putting then don't feel alone because Shinguuji is considered off-putting as well. He brushes off the negative things people thinks when it comes to himself, but when it comes to you and the negativity you face, it's hard for him to conceal how irritated he gets.

♥ I know some people have hyperfixations of like medieval torture methods so imagine how much he'd love that.

♥ ^ You also have the chance to teach him about really niche things, that's pretty sweet.

♥ ^ But I imagine that with some topics, he's gonna try and teach you about your own hyperfixation and it's gonna get annoying.

♥ He loves ur reactions to things. He gets so gushy-gushy and poetic. He likes finding what words make you smile, which ones make you laugh and which ones make you want to roll your eyes.

You stared back at him for a few seconds. He held an intense, filling gaze. The two of you were sitting on a park bench, facing the trees and enjoying the sounds of the birds. In between the conversation, there were moments of silence. Usually, he'd break them with small, unrelated sentences, but he's been quiet. "Korekiyo," you said quietly, a bit worried to startle him. To you, he was either in deep thought or, more humorously, sleeping with his eyes open. It took you to say it louder before he turned away. "My apologies," he smiled with a tilt of his head. His hair cascaded down his shoulder. His eyes went to the green leaves dancing in the wind. "We sit here in such a beautiful place, so lively. Most people would give their life away to view a sight like this." With no response, you just stared at him more, already knowing what he was going to say. He looked at you. "I've been all around the world and so I do not wish to waste my time looking at something I've seen before. You, however, do not come close to any of the beauties our world gives to us." "You love me so much, don't you?" You gave him a smile while his yellow eyes developed a look of interest: "You say that but do not realize that jests can be true words, too."

♥ If you need your alone time, he isn't going to stop you because he likes his, too. He knows that obviously you can be infatuated with somebody while also finding comfort in solitude.

♥ ^ And with that, he also has his own boundaries when it comes to where he goes whenever he wants solitude. He likes reading his books and analyzing his artifacts, all of which takes place in his study.

♥ ^ Yeah and don't touch his stuff because he is very protective of his collections. Therefore, he'd also never mess with something you own.

♥ If you're the type of person to have stuffed animals, and especially make them talk, he isn't going to pick up on that very quickly as means of a thing people still do. He'll give a history lesson as to 'ah yes, i've learned about this form of imagination within cultures of story telling, oral adventures'.

♥ Most of the time, he'll put your comfort over his.

♥ He'll stay up with you whenever you have trouble sleeping and are fully awake at 2am, no matter the cost. He is going to make sure that you know he is always there for you. He always has things to do.

♥ If you need help falling asleep, he'll do things like sing to you and let you watch videos in bed, whatever will make you most comfortable.

♥ He got some crazy eye contact btw I just want to put that out there.

[boyfridged]

hello lovely, robin lives is out. any thoughts or comments? :) absolutely love your meta and writing especially ones about robin jason <33 there's so much heart you put into it, it is lovely. cheering you on.

thank you for this lovely message, i'm glad that how dear i hold his character does come across in my meta! and: i'm sorry, i said one business day, and yet i'm here four days later... however, i also reread in this time, to give a more detailed review, and here are my thoughts so far:

as i already complained: the ableist tirade about "fried circuits in the brain" and cruelty being "chemical," about the "morass of psychosis and sin" at the beginning of it all almost made me close it... it took so much space in this single issue, and was so unnecessary and grim, very out of place compared with the joker image from the 80s, which the story is supposed to relate to after all.

speaking of: the bits that were very clearly referring to aditf & the following issues i liked best (maybe besides dematteis trying to deal with the whole iranian diplomat plotline... there's nothing to salvage there so it was just pitiful). clark's cameo was a very clear throwback. but my favourite was the panel with sheila... that might be my particular weakness to sheila though.

the general framework of a shrink (sigh) brought to "deal" with jason makes me think of gotham knights #45 (derogatory.) also. hello ao3 called they say they want their classic outsider pov trope back-- i need to make it clear: i love outsider povs. but here-- this is just not it.

i have concerns about bruce's portrayal as a father too, and that's where she enters anyway. again, i love to see bruce failing; i love seeing his flaws; and post-crisis bruce is not the most competent parent, we know it... but... "moping" says batman about a child that witnessed (or at least was in presence of, since he was probably unconscious by then) his mother's demise? that is a bit... much you'd think? especially that jason doesn't do anything too offensive in that moment at all?

this is actually something that @iliadicjasontodd said but i have to agree: it is really funny how dick comes in and has one conversation with jason about a completely unrelated topic and acts like this fixed everything. it's not the worst we've seen of dick & jay but it does feel very much like dematteis was just checking a box "dick grayson" on the characters to include/references list and left it at that. and to be fair, the whole issue feels like that, but i do get that it's just the first one and he needs to set it all up...

now! to the reference that is actually interesting to me... the page on the right is imo a very clear reference to batman #414 (on the left). if you've seen this post of mine you know that later, in the same arc, there's a parallel scene in which jason does *exactly the same*, with the dialogue being a 1:1 too. which makes me curious: is the analogous scene here a set-up for jason to mirror bruce's violent actions again? if it is, we'd get the point that it is bruce who dooms jason by projecting on him brought home... and it does vaguely seem that they could do in that direction, no? while i am a fan on this reading, i'm just not sure how i feel about it in an instance of jay lives scenario, where that would be a perfect moment for the a divergence from what happens in his death and post-mortem.

the question at the end... about "why batman brought a child to batman at all" is a question that was already answered with much sensibility. but i won't lie, batman as a title certainly needs a refresher on this one --- so as long as we arrive at the same reply that *is* implied in aditf and many of older batman stories, we are fine. the answer in the 80s was that bruce can cmopartmentalise his identities, but he cannot compartmentalise his family and familiar love. but if instead we get what contemporary canon has been delighting in for decades now: the notion that it's the children who need it themselves, that it's the only way, that they would always end up in the same place otherwise, if not worse off-- i will be severely disappointed.

so far, i think the biggest weakness and what makes the whole thing underwritten is that we don't get to see jason directly after waking up from the coma...? why is bruce having these conversations with him now? why does jason still go out as robin and does so alone...? i'm not saying none of it is plausible, because it could be written as such, but we just don't get any of it. i def wish we get more insight into jay's mind next issue.

all in all, i do not want to condemn it preemptively-- all my concerns from before definitely hold. i just hope i will be proved wrong, though the whole framing of "i should have seen it coming" portending another huge tragedy... not a fan of it.

[pokelolmc]

The Ultimate Enemy is a Disappointment (and How I'd Fix It) (Part 1)

A couple years back, I started analysing a list of DP episodes I thought had missed potential--and my analysis on TUE got SO big I made it its own thing. I rewrote it to death and could never settle on something concise enough, so I abandoned it. But I'm BACK baby. I can't remember where it is now, but I came across a poll on whether Reign Storm or TUE is the better special and the discourse reignited my passion for this analysis, and gave me motivation to trim off some of the fat.

Don't get me wrong, at the end of the day I do like this episode--or at least its ideas. I really liked the episode the less I thought about it, but now I see issue after issue in its execution. Hence, the "disappointment": it could've been great, but it missed the mark. This won't just be a one-sided roast of TUE, though. I have a ton of cool ideas for how to rewrite plot holes or fill in the gaps. The best roasts are constructive! (Though I would be rewriting it in a more mature fashion compared to canon's writing--keep that in mind).

Part 2 is now up: you can find it here.

So here we go: Part 1--the general plot contrivances/contradictions unrelated to Dan's character or the time travel system.

The episode introduced taking off the Time Medallions as a way to immediately return to one’s native time period, but then forgot this late into the second act.

Technically this plot hole involves time travel devices, but I'm counting it as a plot hole by character decisions.

The episode gives no explicit rules on lag time between removing the medallion and returning home, but it takes only one to two seconds to return Skulktech to the future after they dropped theirs, and it had to have been instant for Sam and Tucker to return to the past in time to escape rubble falling from FentonWorks (which was only roughly two to three stories high, not counting the Ops Centre).

Danny should’ve been sent back almost instantly when Dan took his medallion off—which would’ve completely defeated the purpose of Dan’s attempt to trap Danny there in the first place.

If they wanted to keep the plot point, they could’ve just had Dan grab the medallion and turn it intangible while it’s still around Danny’s neck…and that’s assuming that making it intangible while Danny’s still tangible doesn’t count as “removal”. That’s it. He never needed to remove it to begin with.

2. The Nasty Sauce explosion just…sucks. In my opinion, it’s too silly for the tone the episode’s trying to go for (and as a cause of major character death), and it wrecks the worldbuilding.

I tried to put it in way more verbose ways in my previous drafts, but I found another post somewhere on tumblr that did what I couldn’t—say it in three words:

“It’s just stupid.”

Assuming that semi-realistic laws exist in-place in the Danny Phantom universe (so it’s BASICALLY similar to ours) the Nasty Burger shouldn’t have been able to stay in business without a LOT of red tape, cover-ups and NDA’s. They had an explosive substance on premises, being taken care of by unqualified, minimum-wage part-timers instead of trained chemical safety specialists. Forget handling it, they shouldn’t have even had it in the first place! If they got it by going UNDER the law and covering everything up, then one of their employees shouldn’t have been able to just CONFESS to it at a public school assembly.

It also sounds ridiculous that a “certain combination of secret herbs and spices” could catastrophically combust in the first place. They could’ve made the explosion ghost-powered/altered; they could’ve made it not the sauce itself, but a pressure issue with its containment vats; they could’ve made it a gas leak or malfunction of cooking equipment starting a fire, or something. They could’ve made the explosion a Fenton invention at their home (where the whole family had reason to be at once, and Mr Lancer could hold the parent-teacher conference there like in Teacher of the Year). They've used more serious threats of explosion in previous episodes (like the Ecto-Filtrator in Million Dollar Ghost).

And instead they decided “Yep! This commonly sold and digested sauce is a dangerous explosive, and even a small handout serving is enough to blow clean through a wall when it’s heated up!” This is how we're going to kill all of the main characters' loved ones to send him on a villain arc!

Like what?

Nowhere else after TUE did the show acknowledge the Nasty Sauce in worldbuilding. There were no consequences of its risk being publicly revealed, nor did it ever pose a hazard again. It’s understandable, given the show’s episodic nature. Bu at least in The Ultimate Enemy itself, they should've thought about how it affected most of the previous episodes.

During his fight with Boxed Lunch, one of Danny's ectoblasts to a sauce packet demolishes an entire section of wall in the Nasty Burger. So how hadn’t any ghost fights ignited any Nasty Sauce before—or damaged the main vat, god forbid—and caused an explosion already?

If the sauce was always a part of the Nasty Burger’s recipe, then the entire restaurant was a ticking time bomb waiting to go off since season one, and nothing short of a miracle could explain why it hadn’t happened before.

3. This episode committed character assassination of Mr Lancer, for the sake of setting up stakes in the plot. And contradicted his personality changes in previous episodes (such as “Teacher of the Year”).

Mr Lancer, in my opinion, is the character done the single dirtiest in the episode. It warps his entire character around the plot, and turns him into a contrived mouthpiece for how important the CAT is. It leaves him even more malicious and mean-spirited than his behaviour in the first episode of the entire show—leaving him even worse than he started.

He didn’t have much character development, but there were some more positive changes happening in his personality as later episodes occurred. He started out as a selfish, corrupt authority figure (think Mystery Meat, Fright Night and other S1 episodes where he deliberately lets the jocks off the hook for their behaviour), but unwittingly acts in favour of the main characters in “Fanning the Flames”—although ineffective and easily taken down by Ember.

By the time of “Teacher of the Year”, we finally got a glimpse into his (albeit scant) ideology as a teacher around helping his students succeed, and his concern for Danny’s failing grades.

It even revealed his personal interest in Doomed, which gave him more in common with Danny and Tucker and humanised him in way a few other episodes hadn’t. Season two even demonstrated his (albeit brief) willingness to stand up and defend his students from a ghost attack in “Memory Blank”. Lancer, for a brief period of time, became more than just his job, book title swears and his frustration with rebellious students.  

We're talking about the teacher who, in the early 2000s, kept a picture of himself crossdressing at school to convince his students to try their best with a "story about his sister".

The Ultimate Enemy, however, took Mr Lancer’s humanity towards the students—particularly Danny—and flipped it all on its head. It turned him into an elitist, mean-spirited asshole who verbally attacked his students (past and present) based on their performances on this single. Fucking. Test.

They made Mr. “there is no cheat code in school, or in life” Lancer into a cruel enforcer of the hamfisted and childish importance of the CAT. Actual “get rich vs dead-end, minimum-wage job” propaganda.

(Teacher of the Year)

And... one season later:

(that sure sounds like a cheat code in life to me)

To add insult to injury, TUE used Lancer’s death as the butt of a joke directly after spending the majority treating him like a total asshole—following up character assassination with literal assassination , and excluding him from the rest of the explosion victims in their memorial.

It feels to me, that it'd make more sense for Mr Lancer to be sceptical of the importance of the CAT based on TOTY. Replace him in the assembly with Principal Ishiyama or something. A stickler-for-the-rules school administrator looking to boost the school's image by pressuring kids on a standardised test? That ABSOLUTELY makes sense.

Mr Lancer could still be seen as a threat (or someone Danny can't reach out to for help), but in the department of simply being an authority figure Danny's used to dodging around with his ghost activities. Someone who'd still enforce consequences for Danny getting caught cheating. Someone who'd get his parents involved. He's the closest thing Danny could have to any level of support at Casper High, and Danny could think he's even lost THAT.

4. The way Danny got the CAT answers was contrived, and broke the previously established rules of ghost intangibility.

To cut a long story short, Boxed Lunch’s fight with Danny shouldn’t have gotten the test answers stuck to Danny’s back. Danny immediately turned intangible in anticipation of the explosion, and was thrown outside the Nasty Burger and through Mr. Lancer’s briefcase before turning tangible again.

That didn’t make sense; the series previously established that ghosts (in this case, halfas) were physically unaffected by explosions when intangible. “Million-Dollar Ghost” even demonstrated it when Vlad escaped his castle’s explosion in the same manner, and was left completely unmoved from his position at ground zero. The sauce packet explosion shouldn’t have even moved Danny out of place, let alone flung him out of the building (especially not compared to Vlad and an Ecto-filtrator explosion).

On top of that, the test answers couldn’t have gotten stuck to his back while he passed through the suitcase, as Danny was intangible and the answers sheet was solid. Even if it were possible for already intangible ghosts to grab onto tangible objects and bring them into intangibility, that’d certainly require conscious intention that Danny didn’t have in the episode.  The test answers got stuck to his back by sheer accident on his part. Bringing other objects into tangibility always previously involved a tangible ghost grabbing hold of other tangible people/objects and consciously willing them intangible together. Ergo, he should’ve simply passed through the suitcase and its contents all at once—go to the other side, pass go, do not collect CAT cheat sheet.

The solution for this one is pretty simple—just remove the scene entirely. Not only does it break the lore, but it’s entirely pointless and redundant (more on that later when I talk about Clockwork—giving Danny the answers was his idea, and it was a terrible one). Instead, it would’ve been much more compelling if Danny stole the answers on purpose with his ghost powers—being put under so much pressure to succeed that he felt like he had to forgo his morals and use his powers to cheat.

[the-fluff-piece]

Ooh, I’ve never done a request before (so don’t mind me if I do it wrong 😅). If you’re still doing the Follower Prompt stuff: Zoro, #10? Any mood you feel best fits the prompt.

Also, completely unrelated, but I saw that you’re looking for writing buddies. So am I, if you ever want to send me a message. I’d love to talk more about it!

Hello dear fellow caffeine addict, you're doing it absolutely right! I picked a silly mood for this because it's my silly day. And Zoro is a silly person.

This is part of my follower milestone event

And also check my masterlist for the other milestone stories!

Zoro has questions. Like...what's that long thing in your nightstand drawer???

Zoro has the personality of a very aggressive,cheeky cat. When he likes you he also likes all of your things. One day, going through your stuff to touch everything, he makes a BAFFLING discovery!!!

Sfw, just some sexy talk

Fem!reader

Evening, end of another day together. You're in the shower. Zoro loves those moments - when your room fills with the scent of soap while he's waiting on the bed for his evening cuddles. It's a time of excited waiting for the most wonderful person in the world. It makes him giddy. When Zoro gets giddy waiting for you, he needs to occupy himself. Looking at your stuff, the things that are around you all day, he feels he can close the gap your temporary absence leaves in his mind.

His good eye catches your nightstand. There's a book, a scented candle and a small, moon shaped lamp. He already studied that. There's a drawer underneath. He leans over and opens it, looking at the things you keep close while sleeping. He sniffs some kind of lip balm - it smells like vanilla and cinnamon. There's your diary wich he'd love to read but doesn't, and some kind of long object?

He takes it out. It's long and smooth, about the length of your underarm, made of some dark material. A stick? He turns it around in his hand. Smooth. Black. He hears the shower turn off and hastily shoves it back, resuming his waiting position.

The thought about the object vanishes when he sees you in your night gown, coming into his arms to sleep. But at night, he thinks about it some more. He can't ask you directly, there had already been a discussion about him looking into your nightstand. So Zoro does what he always does when he doesn't know something- asking the other guys (except stupid Sanj). Nami called it the council of a single braincell, buy what did she know?

Zoro brought the stick(?) to Chopper, Luffy and Usopp.

"Looks like liquorice. I hate that!" Luffy says studying the black object in their midst.

"I don't thing it's food" Zoro says. He already tried to take a bite, the thing is hard. And tasteless.

"I know what that is!" Usopp says, assuming his knowing thinker pose.

Excited, Zoro leans over: "Yes??? Tell me!"

"Without a doubt, that's a magic wand and y/n is a witch!" He explains to his adoring audience. "They come from the land of magicka! I've been there and almost married the princess" Usopp spins his tale.

Zoro stares wide-eyed. His girl, a witch? He didn't know what to think of that. Depending on how cool the magic was and if she still needed his protection.

"Wow!" Chopper squeaks. "I thought it was for holding meat!" This excited Luffy, instantly changing the mood again.

Zoro leaves them disputing if it is a meat stick or a magic stick. Both options seem valid. He will try and ask Robin, but since she is friends with y/n, he needs to be subtle.

Robin reads in the library as Zoro wanders into the big room he never visits and pretends to look at the books. Boring. So agonisingly boring.

"Zoro, what do you need? Maybe I can help you?" She asks without looking up.

"I uh...search for a book about sticks." Zoro tries to introduce the topic.

"Sticks?" She asks.

"Yeah...y/n's stick is not...sticky enough." He instantly regrets his sentence. Robin looks up.

"What?" She asks.

"So I know women use sticks. In their nightstand. I hoped to find something about that." Zoro tries to get something from her. She turns crimson red.

"Zoro...?" She asks without ending the sentence. "You tell me now what you mean!" Her voice is commanding and firm. She is too smart for him. He sits down next to her.

"I found a stick in her nightstand...what is it???" He spills the question.

"The boys say it's a magic wand!"

"Zoro." Her face is red, and she looks away. "You and Y/n, you love each other?" She asks seriously.

"Yes." Zoro says with absolute certainty.

"And you share a bed" She says.

"Absolutely" He has to grin.

"And you...uhm...do stuff that people do when they're in love? Without pants?" Now she stutters.

"Yes!" Zoro isn't ashamed. It's perfectly natural!

"The stick in her nightstand is like your...she probably uses it to have fun by herself!" Robin looks like she might burn up. "Never ask me again about this!" She throws him out, but he has what he needs.

It was magic, just the sexier kind. "Y/n you dirty, little girl. Not telling me you have a dick in your nightstand!" He says to himself, but still wondering about the shape. It looks nothing like his dick. He'll have to spank her a little tonight for keeping this secret from him.

Evening, finally. Zoro is as excited like it was their first time together. He will surprise her with his knowledge and use her dick stick on her - or maybe she shows him how she uses it on herself? Making a show for him? His grin is as wide as the red line as he is waiting for you.

When you throw yourself on the mattress, he turns to face you and lets his fingers trail over your body.

"Hey beautiful" He says with a husky voice.

"Hey handsome" you answer.

"I thought about something new and sexy to do" He whispers like a conspirator.

"Oh yeah?" You ask, feeling your body tingle in expectation.

"You just have to promise not to be mad..." He says, still sexy and seductive.

"What have you done...?" Now you're getting insecure. When he messes up he really messes.up.

"Found your sex toy" He says. "This is gonna be a hell of a night for all your little holes." He says, getting something from behind his pillow.

You are confused. You don't have sex toys here. Zoro shows you an unnaturally black, stick-like object.

Your eyes widen as you realise what that means.

"That's not a sex toy! It's a...uhm...it's for ice cream!" You lie, hoping the mention of food will distract him.

Now he looks confused (so cute). "No! Robin told me! Women use it for pleasure!" He tries to get the sexy mood back.

"YOU SHOWED IT AROUND YOU BASTARD??" you scream at him. No one should know! This is bad!

"Not to Robin! Luffy, Usopp and Chopper didn't know what it was!" He explains.

Panic takes over your brain. Panic, anger, sadness. An explosive mix of emotions - you lose control.

The wand in Zoro's hand spawns sparks of pure darkness and flies from his hand into yours. A small explosion of mana propells him out of bed. He is back on his feet in an instant.

"Oi wha-" his voice can be too loud. With a flick of your wand you create a bubble of silence in your room. Zoro looks baffled and his mouth moves fast. What to do now? You need to get your broom and flee. They cannot know, they cannot accept...!

You may be a powerful witch, but Zoro is a powerful meatslab of pure muscle and years of training. He closes the distance between you in a blurr and holds you tight - lovingly.

He looks into your face and points to his mouth as he's forming words you cannot hear.

"I...love...you..." You read the exaggerated movements of his lips. You lift the spell and he's screaming on top of his lungs that he loves you - and goes silent as soon as he realises that sound has returned to the world.

"Y/n, you're a witch!" He says brimming with excitement.

"I uh...that's a secret!" You tell him, confused what to feel. "Don't tell any-"

"THAT IS SO AWESOME" He screams, his face looks like he was a boy in a sword store.

"Can you burn stuff? Can you summon demons? CAN YOU MAKE MY SWORDS MAGIC???" You've almost never seen him lose it like that. He seems...Happy? Excited?

"You're not freaked out?" You ask.

"No! Now do magic!" He jumps up and down like a hyper active child on sugar.

You decide to show him the simplest trick in the book: lights.

You don't even need a tool or an incantation. You wave your hand and little sparkling lights dance around the dimly lit room. Zoro tries to touch them, but they're cold illusions without mass. It's delightful to see him so happy. You feared he would reject you if he knew, maybe even hurt you. But now, he is a thousand times more excited than for the ninja tricks.

You notice a tear on his cheek. He turns to you, the lights dancing around him, with a wide grin.

"My girlfriend is a super cool witch! I am so happy!" He exclaims, crying from happiness.

"Now burn stuff down!" He pleads.

"Zoro, we're on a wooden ship. I won't burn down the sunny!" You tell him. Magic fire is fucking dangerous!

"Than...uh..." He seems overwhelmed with the possibilities your magic presents him. You take him in your arms and kiss a salty tear from his eye.

"I know a great spell for invisibility. Let's play tricks on Usopp!" You propose.

"YES" Zoro cries.

This is more exciting to him than any sex toy he might have found. Zoro's mind races with pictures of dragons and magic explosions and turning Sanji into a frog.

Life is so good!