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cyarikaplease · 2 days ago

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and i’ll never see you again if i can help it

ex!joel miller x f!reader

summary: after breaking up with Joel, you take an opposite patrol shift to avoid him at all costs.

warnings: smut and angst

“The first time I tasted somebody else's spit, I had a coughing fit

I mistakenly called them by your name

I was let down it wasn't the same”

The cold nighttime air startled your lungs as you stumbled outside. Before you had time to acclimate, his lips were pressed against yours. You drunkenly kissed him back, him being some guy you met at the Tipsy Bison whose name you couldn’t even be bothered to recall. You got a taste of his spit, bitter from the alcohol he just drank. You forced yourself not to gag which caused you to pull away and cough violently, the crisp November air certainly not helping.

He looked at you under the dim street lamp and chuckled, “You okay?”

Tears sprung at the corners of your eyes as you continued your coughs and struggled to catch your breath. He rubbed your back as your coughing fit came to an end.

That was nice of him.

When the coughing finally dissipated you resigned to kissing him again. He pressed you against the side of the building and worked on your neck, leaving sloppy, wet kisses on your soft skin.

You started to moan a little and as he kissed and sucked on your neck, you subconsciously moaned “Joel”.

He stopped. You felt the blood rush to your cheeks and your face grew hot. He slowly pulled away from your neck and looked you in the eye.

“…What did you just say?”

You didn’t know what to say. It’s not like you could tell him the truth, “Oh I was just moaning my ex’s name.” That would crush him. You stared at each other under the streetlamp and through puffs of your visible breath. The expression on his face was a mixture of disappointment and betrayal.

“I- I…” you stuttered out.

He shook his head and muttered “Forget it” before turning and walking home, leaving you alone in the dark street with nothing but the shame you felt.

“I’m doing fine, trying to derail my one-track mind

Regaining my self-worth in record time

But I can’t help but think of your other in the bed that was mine”

You sighed and went to walk home yourself, the shame already melting away. It’s not like it was going to be anything serious anyway. Who cares if you called him by the wrong name? You’re still healing from your breakup with Joel anyway. You were bound to be a little messy here and there. The shame had started shapeshifting into pride of some kind. But all that changed when you saw him leaving the Tipsy Bison. And no, not the random guy from before. This time him being Joel. And he was with a woman. They were clearly drunk and practically hanging off of each other. How had you not noticed him inside earlier? And as they walked towards the direction of Joel’s home, the home that you used to share with him, you heard something rare; Joel was laughing. Jealousy stirred a pit in your stomach. Your hands clenched at your sides. Tears sprung in your eyes again. The shame returned but this time for a different reason. You were ashamed you no longer had a rebound. You wanted to prove to Joel that you didn’t need him; that you were moving on. But instead, you were standing in the street feeling jealous, watching him walk home to fuck someone where he used to fuck you.

“Am I a masochist, resisting urges to punch you in the teeth

Call you a bitch and leave?”

You wanted to yell after him; tell him to stop; ask what he thought he was doing. Maybe even call him a name or two. Maybe throw him a punch. Maybe not the punch though. That was just drunk you talking. You didn’t really have a right to do any of those things anyway. You were broken up. He was free to move on to whoever he wanted. You turned on your heel and walked home, head hanging low in humiliation. You returned to your empty home, collapsing into bed and finally letting the tears flow now that you were alone. You thought about what Joel was doing with her. Was he kissing her? Were they holding each other? Were they in what used to be your bed with Joel? Did he have the same attention to detail with her pleasure that he used to have with yours? It made your stomach twist into knots. The alcohol mixed with the feelings of regret, longing, and nostalgia; all of it fusing together, leaving you nauseous. You ran to your bathroom and emptied the contents of your stomach into the toilet. You sat on the floor, rested your head against the toilet seat, and sobbed, the tears making your face sticky and puffy. You knew you were gonna look like shit tomorrow, eyes puffy and bloodshot, all the color in your face faded. And to make matters worse, you had a daytime patrol shift with Joel tomorrow. The thought of him seeing you like this was mortifying. You wanted him to think that you were moving on; that you didn’t need him anymore. But that was far from the truth.

“Why did I come here? To sit and watch you stare at your feet?

What was the plan? Absolve all your guilt and shake hands?”

You woke up that morning with a splitting headache. The morning sun creeping in through the windows didn’t help either. You rose from your bed slowly, the aches in your body starting to set in. You went to the bathroom and took a look at yourself in the mirror. The bags under your eyes were a deep purple and the life was sucked from your face. You thought about Joel seeing you like this… which led you to think about him waking up with her this morning. The pain that that thought gave you was indescribable. It tore at your stomach and your heart, leaving them with heavy pits. You leaned over the bathroom counter and took slow, deep breaths, heading facing down at the sink. After talking yourself down from the impending mental breakdown you got ready for your patrol shift, slipping on your clothes and grabbing your gun on the dresser before exiting into the brisk morning. You put your pants in the pockets of your jacket and stared at the ground as you walked, not trying to make eye contact with anyone as Jackson was waking up for the day.

You reached the main gate to find Joel waiting there, too, also looking at the ground. Tommy and a few others were waiting as well. You wordlessly headed to the stables, mounting on your houses for the patrol. The tension between the group hung heavy in the air, thanks to you and Joel. Everyone in town knew about your breakup and how messy it was. Nobody dared to say a thing as you and the group exited through the gate and spread out along the walls of Jackson. Somehow you and Joel ended up next to each other, neither of you looking in the other’s general direction. The strain and hostility between you two was so strong it was pliable. It felt like a weight being pushed down on your shoulders. And that’s how most of the shift went– you and Joel next to each other or walking by each other on your horses, never making eye contact. It was awkward for you, him, and everyone else unfortunate enough to be on the same patrol shift with you guys. If only you could switch patrol shifts…

But your thoughts are interrupted when Joel speaks, startling you.

“Can we talk?”

Really? Now?

“I don’t really think here is the best time or place…” you said, glancing at the others around you.

“Meet me at the diner after our shift?” he asked in a hushed tone.

The diner in Jackson had a service for patrol shift workers to stop in for coffee whenever they needed it. Going to the diner after your patrol shifts was something you used to do together. Now, you avoided that place like the plague, finding it to be painful to go to.

Your brow furrowed, “Sure, I guess…”

He nodded silently and led his horse in the opposite direction around the fence. You didn’t see him much for the rest of your shift. And when you did you didn’t really look him in the eye. The day seemed to drag on, the sun getting lower and lower in the sky. At the end of your shift, you headed back to the stables and dismounted from your horse, starting the walk to the diner. Jackson was bathed in a warm red glow, a beautiful sight on a normal day but you were too nervous to appreciate it. As you approached the diner you saw Joel through the window, sitting at a booth, looking down at his hands.

“I feel no need to forgive but I might as well

But let me kiss your lips so I know how it felt

Pay for my coffee and leave before the sun goes down

Walk for hours in the dark feeling all hell”

You entered the diner with a ding from the bell attached to the door. Joel looked up from his hands and met your eyes. You wordlessly walked to his booth and sat across from him, not knowing what to say. But again, Joel spoke first.

“I’m sorry you had to see that outside the Tipsy Bison last night…”

So he did see you. That made this so much worse.

You sighed, “You don’t have anything to apologize for. We’ve been broken up for like a month now.”

“I know but that doesn’t mean I don’t care for you or your feelings anymore…”

He looked at you with a solemn expression on his face. Before either of you could say anything the waitress came over to take your order.

“Can I get you two anything else besides coffee? Something to eat?”

Not in the mood to eat. Not during a talk like this.

“Just the coffee for now,” you replied.

“Same for me.”

“I’ll be right back with those,” she said before, turning and heading behind the counter.

“I mean… I forgive you I guess?”

He nodded and reached your hand across the table.

But why? Why is he doing this if he supposedly moved on? You missed him, though. And you’d be lying to yourself right now if this didn’t make you at least a little bit happy.

You took his hand and sighed, rubbing your thumb across his.

“Why are we doing this? I thought we were supposed to be moving on. I’ve been trying to, at least.” It physically pained you to say those words but it was what needed to be said. He can’t just go home with another woman and then come back to you apologizing. He either wanted you or he didn’t.

He didn’t answer. The waitress returned with your coffees and you sipped on them silently; the warm liquid soothing you after a long day out in the cold.

You continued, “I just don’t get what’s going on here. It all feels like a mixed signal.”

“I want to move on. I really do. But when I try to move on I find myself feelin’ guilty. And it doesn’t help that we work the same patrol shift. I see you all the time and anytime I look at you, I just feel guilty.”

“I’ll make this easier for both of us, Joel,” you said, giving him a sad smile. “Don’t worry about me. Just live your life.”

Something compelled you to give him one final kiss before it was over forever. You leaned over the booth and gave him a quick, chaste kiss, even though you would regret it later. Before he could say anything in return, you slid out of the booth and stood up, getting ready to leave.

“Goodbye, Joel,” you said before leaving him behind, in the past where he belongs.

“Don’t hold your breath, forget you’ve ever saw me at my best

You don’t deserve what you don’t respect

Don’t deserve what you say you love and then neglect

Now bite your tongue, it’s too dangerous to fall so young

Take back what you said

Can’t lose what you never had”

The sun was setting. The people of Jackson were heading towards their homes, but not you. You walked through the dark streets, in a melancholy haze. You missed him so much but there was a reason your relationship ended. But still, you found yourself reminiscing on the good times; the patrol shifts together, him teaching you how to play guitar, laughing together with Ellie. But he didn’t love you the way you needed to be loved. It was understandable given all he went through. But he didn’t need to tell you he loved you and treat you otherwise.

You met each other in Kansas City after FEDRA’s control there collapsed.

And when you first got together he would always tell you to be careful falling for him. You were a lot younger than him. Looking back, he was probably right. But he stopped trying to fight your feelings towards him and just accepted it. And that’s all it most likely was at the end of the day; him just accepting you, not loving you back. At least that’s what you thought. Maybe there was a part of grumpy, stoic Joel Miller that loved you deep down. And if that part of him existed, he was terrible at letting it out.

It wasn’t a breakup where one person broke up with the other. You both felt it coming for a while. The greatest love you’d ever known (or thought you’d ever known) slipped through your fingers. And you both felt it was time to cut it off. That was a little over a month ago and it hasn’t been any easier since.

After a while the frigid night turned into dawn. You stayed out the whole night, loafing around. Soon it would be time for your patrol shift but you thought about what Joel said.

“And it doesn’t help that we work the same patrol shift. I see you all the time and anytime I look at you, I just feel guilty.”

“You got a 9 to 5, so I’ll take the night shift

And I’ll never see you again if I can help it

In five years I hope the songs feel like covers

Dedicated to new lovers”

You spotted Tommy walking to his patrol shift and that’s when you got the idea: ask for the night shift.

“Tommy!” you shouted, “Wait up!”

He stopped walking and turned to face you. You jogged a little bit to catch up with him.

“Hey,” he said wearily, taking in your current state. “Did you go to bed last night?”

“No… But I actually had something I wanted to ask you.”

“Shoot.”

“Would it be alright if I took the night shift instead?”

He let out a small sigh. He knew what this was about.

“…I don’t see why not.”

“Thanks. Can I start tonight?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Go home and get some sleep,” he said, looking at your tired face.

“Thanks, Tommy,” you replied before walking home.

You didn’t see Joel walk to his shift. Maybe he was already there. Maybe he would notice your absence. Maybe he wouldn’t care. Maybe he would be relieved.

You walked inside and went straight to your bedroom, peeling off the clothes you had been wearing for the past twenty four hours. You slipped on something to wear to sleep and crumpled into bed, exhaustion taking you over. You still found yourself dreaming of Joel. You dreamt of when he taught you to play guitar. He knew some songs from before the outbreak but not a ton. So a lot of the songs you made up on the spot, not necessarily accompanied by singing either, something neither of you were skilled at. But it was something you two did together. It was something that made the detached Joel Miller enjoy himself for once. Maybe one day he would play those songs for someone else or forget yours and make up new ones entirely. Maybe he would teach her how to play guitar. Maybe he would give up that hobby altogether after you, finding it too painful.

You slept throughout the whole day, waking up a couple of hours before your night shift. You opened your eyes groggily, not adjusted to the light coming in through the windows yet. You rubbed your eyes and opened them to see a tall, looming figure standing over your bed.

“What the fuck?!” you shouted, sitting upright.

You blinked a few times and your vision focused. It was just Joel and he had a scowl on his face.

“Jesus Christ, Joel. You scared the shit out of me,” you said in an annoyed tone, trying to quell your racing heartbeat.

“The fuckin’ night shift?!” he said gruffly, still towering over you.

“And what about it?” you challenged, folding your arms.

“What was the fuckin’ reason for it,” he replied, sitting across from you on the bed.

“Thought about what you said yesterday… Seemed like the right thing to do if we’re gonna move on from each other…”

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah, but you don’t go and do something rash like that.”

“Something rash? You mean just swapping my work schedule? Last time I checked I didn’t have to consult with you about that.”

He fell silent so you continued, “You can’t just say you’re done with me; that you’re trying to move on, and then come here and get upset because I changed my work schedule. I’m sick of the fucking mixed signals, Joel. You either want me or you don’t.”

You finished your little speech with a loud sigh, sounding annoyed as fuck. The audacity of this man was unbelievable. He can take home some other woman the night before but come to your house, when you’re sleeping, and get all possessive? Enough was enough.

You scooched closer to him on the bed.

“So what’s it gonna be, huh? Make up your fucking mind.”

Without warning his lips crashed against yours. His kisses were messy and sloppy. And almost angry. His hands found themselves in your hair. This was the exact opposite of what you should be doing but you didn’t care. You missed him so much.

He pushed against you, coaxing you to lie down on the bed. And when you did, he hovered over you with a hungry, insatiable look in his eyes. He returned to kiss you messily while his hands roamed the rest of your body, trailing down to the pants you were wearing, thumbing at the waistband. You moaned softly underneath him and he pulled off your pants, tossing them on the floor. His hand grazed up your thigh, resting on your cunt that was growing wet in anticipation.

“Bet you missed this,” he whispered against your ear.

You let out a small whimper in response as his fingers teased your entrance, brushing against the wet, tender flesh.

“You’re already so wet for me, darlin’.”

Darlin. That was an older pet name Joel had given you. And it’s been a while since you’ve heard it. That fucker knew exactly what he was doing. He knew all the ways to make you melt under his touch.

You spread your legs open for him, gaining him access to slip a finger inside you. His mouth found your neck, peppering it with sloppy kisses. You rocked your hips against his hand, desperate for more. And when he finally gave you another finger, you felt the pleasure in your core building more and more.

His mouth left your neck and trailed down to your entrance, licking small, soft circles around your sensitive clit. You knew you weren’t gonna last long like this, his fingers hitting your g-spot perfectly and his tongue caressing your clit in a way that sent you into intense euphoria. He always knew how to get you cum quickly and hard.

“I’m gonna cum, Joel,” you whined.

He moaned against your clit in response, letting you know he wanted to feel it. And when you did cum, it was intense. Your cunt fluttered around his fingers as he pumped them in and out of you relentlessly. You soaked his face in your cum as you rode out your high, rocking your hips against him. Once you were done coming, you collapsed your hips back down on the bed, legs still shaking.

You were catching your breath when he looked up from your cunt and said “Not done with you yet, darlin’.”

He stood up from the bed for a moment to remove his clothes. You took the moment to sit up and pull off your shirt over your head, tossing it on the floor with your pants. He returned to the bed and hovered over you by your face.

“Ready for me?”

You nodded and he aligned himself with your entrance, thrusting his hard cock into you extra slow to drive you insane. He took your legs and put them over his shoulders before you even had time to adjust to his size. It’d been a month since you’d taken his cock and you weren’t used to his size anymore.

He leaned down so you were face to face, legs pushed back towards your head hitting the perfect angle inside you. It was intense and all you could do was moan and whimper as he fucked your wet, little cunt incessantly.

“Can’t tell you how much I missed this perfect cunt, darlin’. It’s like it was made for me.”

Between his dirty talk and the angle he was hitting inside you, you weren't gonna last long. You felt your walls tense up in anticipation of release. He sensed it too and thrusted in and out of you harder and harder, anxious to feel you cum around his cock.

“Give it to me, sugar. Cum on my cock.”

And when you did, it nearly sent him over the edge. He willed himself to wait until your release was over before pulling out. Stars prickled your vision and tears welled up in the corner of your eyes. Your release was intense, convulsing his cock like a vice. As he felt your orgasm come to an end, he pulled out. You reached in between your legs and stroked him to completion, coating your stomach in thick, white ropes of cum.

He slumped down on the bed next to you, burying his face in the crook of your neck. Neither of you dared to say a word as the feeling of regret started to sink in. You let your thoughts run wild as if to avoid talking about what just happened.

“You got a 9 to 5 so I’ll take the night shift

And I’ll never see you again if I can help it”

Maybe you couldn’t help it after all.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut

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trevorsturnioloappreciator · 2 days ago

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How Soon Is Now?

Soft!Dom!Matt Sturniolo x Shy!Virgin!Reader

-Reader has experienced ridicule for being a virgin in the past, so when Matt reacts with nothing but acceptance, she finally feels ready to give herself to him

cw: Minors Do Not Interact virginity loss, established relationship, oral (f!receiving), daddy kink, praise kink, finger sucking, lots of pet names, vulgar language, titty sucking, penetration (fingering and p in v), talk of past shitty relationships and a little crying (like two paragraphs of angst), reader blacks out for like three seconds, squirt >:)

a/n: okay holy shit this is so long (literally that’s what she said) massive shoutout to @tinypinkrobot for helping proofread and giving me some tips!!

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You and your boyfriend Matt have been going steady for almost three months and everything was perfect. He was always doting on you, making sure you never went without, and going above and beyond to spoil you. Matt was perfect, so perfect it almost made you feel guilty.

The two of you hadn’t gone past heated make out sessions, it even took you the first couple weeks to get comfortable enough to let him really touch you. Finally, building the courage to take Matt’s large hand off your waist and placing it over your shirt onto your breast.

The thing was, you’d never gone past a kiss with a guy, Matt was your first boyfriend, before him it’d been high-school crushes and one sloppy kiss at a house-party, basically, the guy ate your face and squeezed your boob too hard.

As guilty as you felt, and as understanding as Matt was, you still hadn’t clued him into just how inexperienced you were. Anytime you thought to tell him you’re taken back to a time after graduation when you almost got your first boyfriend, that is until you told him you were a virgin.

The guy practically laughed you out of his house, thought it was “pathetic”, said he “knew how girls like you act” telling you in a much more vulgar way that you’d become attached after you both did it and that he just couldn’t handle that.

The sting of that memory stuck with you, his words felt like an absolute truth for every man, you still think about how you walked home that night sobbing. Matt had never once pressured you or even gave the impression that he was anything but the perfect man, but still, that night hangs over you.

Currently you’re snuggled up in Matt’s bed watching a movie while he’s in the shower. In this moment of solitude you take time to think. You wanted this, I mean really wanted it. The way Matt handles you when he kisses up your throat, pushing your hair back for full access to the column of your neck, his gentle hands as he caresses over your body; nothing at all like the guy in the bathroom of your best friends house.

All the evidence you had pointed to Matt being a caring, sweet and attentive lover, so you felt foolish at how hard you thought about all this. That’s when you make up your mind. As soon as the thought crosses over you, you hear the shower shut off and Matt’s walking through his en suite door, followed by a thick puff of steam. His wet hair is sticking to his forehead, looking a shade darker than normal, his white towel hangs low on his waist as rivulets of water drip down his exposed chest.

“Sorry, babydoll, left my change of clothes in here, I’ll be right back”, he says as he comes over to where you’re sitting up at his headboard to place a quick peck on your cheek. Before he walks away, you decide to cease this opportunity, I mean Matt looks like a fucking Michelangelo statue right in front of you.

Reaching out, you grab his arm as he uses your blanket clad knee to stabilize himself while he bent to kiss you, “Wait… wait…”, you’re losing confidence as you speak, but you need to do it, you need to get over your fear, for yourself.

Matt’s eyes narrowed in concern, sitting down next to you, completely forgetting that he’s practically naked as he reaches to hold your cheek, “What’s wrong sweetie, you okay?”, his brows furrowed, studying you. Inhaling a deep breath, you sit up straighter, “Matt… If I tell you something, d’you promise you won’t get mad?”, at this point your heart is beating out of your chest as you twiddle your fingers nervously.

The room feels too hot, your clothes too tight, everything around you making you feel exposed as you can’t even meet your boyfriend’s eye. By the way Matt shifts turning entirely to face your direction, you can tell he’s now entirely intrigued, if not a little anxious in his own right, “You can tell me anything, when have I ever gotten mad at you for that, for anything?”, he’s speaking slowly, unsure of what you’ll admit.

Letting out a shaky breath, you finally look up to his confused face, “I’m- I’m just nervous and I know I should’ve told you before you asked me out but I was- I just, I’m a virgin…”, you spit out the words at lightning speed, the minute they leave your mouth you’re looking back down to your lap, feeling your face get hot and your eyes prickle with tears.

“‘M sorry Matt, I don’t why i didn’t tell you, I’m sorry, I promise if- if we do it I won’t get attached, I won’t b-bother you, seriously.”, the frantic words spill out of you even faster than your tears do. “Hey, hey… princess look at me. Oh baby, it’s okay, I’m not mad at you. At all. You’re okay, sweetheart, enough with the crying please…”, Matt uses his thumb to wipe away your tears then moves his hand to pinch your chin between his thumb and pointer finger, directing you to meet his eyes, looking at his face all you can read is sympathy.

Offering you a sad smile, your boyfriend scoots closer to you, rubbing at your jaw with his thumb, “It’s all okay, babydoll, I’m telling you. And you believe me, right? Hm? Everything is just the way it was before you told me.”, he nods reassuringly, moving his hand to back of your head, pulling you onto his shoulder.

The second he pulls you to his embrace, you slump into him, arms locking around his waist as his left hand continues to caress over your hair, right arm rubbing up and down your back slowly. “Shhh, shh, sweetie pie, what made you think I’d be mad at you, huh? It makes me sad you’d even thought of that outcome…”, his voice is soft and soothing, it pulls you from your spiraling thoughts.

You collect yourself before straightening out to wipe your eyes and look at your boyfriend, “You really don’t care?… I just- thought guys don’t wanna do that… with someone like me.”, immediately Matt helps you to completely wipe the wetness from your cheeks as he listens intently as you speak.

Leaning forward, Matt meets your lips in a soft kiss, using his hand on the back of your head to deepen it. “I don’t mind, babydoll, ‘m serious, you’re my girl, okay? Doesn’t matter if I know a lil more than you, hm?”, you’re still a bit distracted by the kiss, but his reassurance still hits your ears, you move forward to catch Matt’s lips again, this time more impassioned than he’d let you before.

You slide your tongue against the junction of his soft lips, pushing through to lick through his mouth. A minute whine leaves you as he takes the kiss over, hand moving from the crown of your head, down to your face, the second his hand reaches your chin, his to guess invades your mouth, he moves his thumb from just under your chin, to the center of you bottom lip.

Matt pulls away, his eyes are tipped low with desire, lips kissed perfectly to a chapped pink, cheeks ruddy from the way you tried to take control over your kiss. Pulling back, disconnecting from his lips, you begin to pull your camisole off.

The cotton of your top passes over your head, leaving you in your thin, silky bralette. Matt puts his hands on your shoulders once you’re left more exposed than you ever have been in front of him. “Hey, hey, hey, what’re ya doin’, love?”, he chides, words more shocked than they are upset.

“You don’t need to do that, princess, you know I don’t expect that from you…”, he keeps his hands on you, rubbing up and down your shoulders.

“I know… I want to. Really bad.”, it makes you blush, saying these words out loud, especially to Matt, who you can tell just by the way he talks how much more experienced he is than you.

Matt’s lips quirk into a small, proud smile. “You sure, baby? And you know we can stop at any time, I won’t be mad, m’kay, I promise.”, nodding along to his words, reaching forward you push his slightly damp hair off of his face, admiring him. “I’m sure, Matt. You’re the only person I could ever see myself doing this with… I love you.”

Now it’s Matt who’s blushing fiercely, he locks his arms around you and pulls you gently into his lap, squeezing you into a tight embrace, and tucking his head into your neck. You can feel the smile on his face as he begins peppering small kisses across the expanse of your throat and down your shoulder, “I love ya so much, babydoll, I’m so proud of you for tellin’ me. ‘M gonna make you feel so good, hm?”

You let out an imperceptible sigh as Matt travels from your shoulder to the place where your neck meets your jaw, sucking a small bruise into a spot you didn’t even know about, the sensation makes you shiver as you feel goosebumps form over your body. “Please, need it, just- do what you want…”, your voice comes out tight, like someone else is controlling your breathing.

“Yeah? Need me to help you out, doll? Poor thing… Why don’t you lay down and tell me what you want from me, okay?”, before you can respond Matt is picking you up by the hips, and laying you down softly atop his thick comforter. You hit the bed with a soft huff, feeling like you’re underwater, the anticipation making your head spin.

Matt, still only wearing a towel wrapped tightly around his hips, comes to crawl over you, his arms hold him up him on either side of your head, as he looks down to your face. “Matt…”, you whine out the word, now feeling more needy than before, needing Matt to just do whatever he wants to you.

“C’mon, sweetheart, let me hear what’s goin’ on in your head, hm? ‘M sure you’ve thought about it, huh? What you want me to do with you…?”, he’s beaming a smug smirk down to you, moving from using his hands to keep him up, to rest heavily on his elbows. Matt’s body is now entirely blanketing you, his face close enough that he rubs his nose gently with yours before leaning sideways to kiss all along your face.

“I-“, your face screws up in embarrassment, of course you’d thought about it, it keeps you up at night how much you think about Matt’s hands, using his strength to overtake you, his lean body pressed against yours with nothing separating you.

“Want you ta show me what to do, use me how you want, I think about it… a lot, I think about how you talk to me, when you give me instructions and- and make sure I obey you, cause you wanna keep me safe. I think about what i-it would be like if you did it… during sex…”, you words break off into a sheepish whine, your cheeks are blazing with embarrassment. “Wan’ daddy to take care of me, please…”

At this point you imagine your face is as red as a firetruck, breath picking up as you turn to hide your face in Matt’s bicep. Matt lets out a soft chuckle, you can tell your answer pleased him. Matt bends his wrist lightly to pet at your hair, “Ya did such a good job, I’m happy to take care of you, babydoll. Such a pretty girl, all blushy and shy, my sweet, little girl…~”

Matt straightens up, now on his knees above you, “Can daddy take your clothes off, doll? That okay?”, when you nod your head in response, he reaches forward to grab your chin, smiling sweetly, “Let me hear you say it…”, you blush deeper as you speak, “Yes, please~”

“Aweee, that’s a good girl~”, he coos out his words as he watches your eyes slipped shut at his praise. “You like when daddy tells you what a good job you’re doin’, huh? You just keep following instructions and I’ll make sure you feel really good, baby, just need ya to stay there and let daddy take over…”, he’s nodding his head at you, the hand on your chin creeps up to place his pointer and middle finger over your lips.

Your lips separate by themselves, welcoming his two fingers to push into your mouth, Matt just barely enters the tips of his fingers through your lips. Using them to hook over your bottom teeth, opening your mouth ever so slightly as your curious tongue pokes out to lave against his digits.

“Fuuck”, his words slip out in an almost whisper, voice gravelly as he watches you lick at his fingers, eyes shy as you look up to gauge his reaction. “So obedient… giving in so good, so fuckin’ good, princess…”, as he speaks, he begins to breach further over your lips, fingers now one knuckle deep over your tongue, applying a slight pressure that causes your eyes to shut slowly.

Leaning over you again, Matt keeps his hand still as he kisses over your chin and the open corner of your mouth softly. “Okay, sweetie pie, ‘m gonna take off your clothes now, gonna treat you real good, alright?”, speaking around the intrusion in your mouth, you nod frantically as you respond in earnest.

Matt’s smile never leaves his face as he slowly slips his fingers out of your mouth, slithering to kiss down your neck to your sternum, where he slips a hand underneath you and expertly unclasps your bra, pulling your top off, revealing your naked chest to him. The groan Matt lets out is deep, almost like a growl, “Goddamn, princess, you’re so perfect, so beautiful…”

Matt slips both his hands under you, covering the expanse of your ribs while he takes one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking expertly as he lets his eyes slip closed. “Ah! Oh, Matt, fuck… feels- feels weird~”, he pops you out of his mouth, pulling away slightly as his hands move to cup your breasts, “Good weird? Want me to stop?”, you can tell by his easygoing voice that he’s genuinely curious, totally sincere about stopping at any point. “D-don’t stop, ‘s just sensitive, n-never really had a-anyone touch me there…”

Matt’s smile shines as he moves up to overpower your lips in a slow, passionate kiss. Asserting his dominance as his tongue slips into your parted mouth, every movement deliberate, savoring this moment. His mind races, losing himself in the feeling of your mouth working against his, remembering every kiss you shared before this moment— how different they felt from this, and how they’ll never feel quite like this again. The sudden realization makes him cherish the kiss, letting every movement etch into his mind, as though he were memorializing the innocence of what was before. It was like this kiss was solidifying the moment your relationship moves from something ever-changing and naive to a sound and unshakable force.

Pulling back, his lips delicately grazing your own, he whispers, “I love you, my girl. I’m always gonna take care of you, help you, teach you as best I can. This isn’t gonna change the way I see you. You’re always gonna be my best friend. The love I have for you isn’t gonna change, it’ll only get stronger, d’you understand? I don’t wanna scare you, or make you think I’ll be different after this. You can always tell me to stop if you don’t want to go any further, okay?”

The weight of his words flow over you, any nervousness you felt before being washed away as he reassures you, “I know, I trust you, Matt. I felt… different every other time I thought this might happen, but I’ve never felt that way with you. It was just me, holding myself back because of the way others have made me feel…”, the conviction in your voice makes Matt’s eyes soften, his hand coming up to smooth your hair off your forehead, laying a sweet kiss to your hairline.

“You don’t have to explain yourself, baby, I never thought any different of you because you didn’t want to have sex, and i certainly don’t think any different of you now, m’kay? Now just relax f’me, daddy’ll take care of everything, no more worrying, doll…”, his voice trails off as he moves back down your body, kissing over your tits, down in between them to lick and suck over your stomach, to the waistband of your cotton panties.

As he gets closer to your core he steps down to kneel on the floor next to his bed, grabbing your thighs to pull you to the edge of the bed. The maneuver causes you to let out a squeal, it’s at this moment, after you’ve been taken out of your head, that you realize just how wet you are, slick soaking through your white undies. You squirm at the thought of how close Matt is to your most vulnerable parts.

A whimper slips past your lips, attempting to squeeze your thighs together, but Matt isn’t having it, he tightens his hold, now snaking his hands up to slip his fingers into your panties, tugging them down, moving slow on purpose to tease you. Matt lets out a small chuckle at your desperation, your breathing picking up and the noises you make are now completely out of your control.

“So eager, love the way you move those hips, darlin’. Daddy’s gonna eat you out okay, I need you good and ready for me, so i can just slide inside you, hm? You ready, babydoll?”, the needy moan that escapes you is loud and high-pitched, “Yes, yes daddy, please. Please…~ anything~ anything you want…”

“So sweet, doin’ soo good, honey.”, his words are muffled as he now nuzzles into your naked hip, leaving a kiss there and trailing more down the inside of your thigh before finally reaching your throbbing core, he’s about an inch away from you, breath fluttering over you causing you to clench around nothing.

Your pussy is leaking and hot, you’ve never felt this turned on, to the point you don’t even think you need any prep, Matt could easily slip into you with no give, but the blinding smirk on his face shows you he isn’t just doing this for your sake. Matt gives you one last reassuring look before diving into you, he starts by licking a fat stripe over your entrance, a low humming slipping from him at your taste.

Locking his lips around your clit, he sucks and flicks his tongue ever so slightly before opening his jaw wider to move his bottom lip to practically make out with your dripping pussy. The noises his mouth makes are so obscene it makes you grip the blanket under you, panting and whimpering. Matt never takes his eyes off of yours as you watch him work and you can tell by the way his eyelids droop low, that he’s probably just as turned on as you.

After another five minutes of him sucking and worshipping you, he moves one hand off your waist, where he had been massaging from your thighs up to your breasts, to add his fingers to his ministrations on you. Matt keeps his mouth locked on your clit as he slides his middle finger down the center of your entrance, the cold digit causes you to shiver and whine.

Matt stops licking for one second to murmur out a gentle, “Shh, shhh”, before getting back to what he had been doing, this time he licks his fingers, warming them up before sliding one inside you, “Good job, babydoll, just gotta get ya ready for daddy…”

Matt spends about two minutes working you over with his finger before adding the second, the pressure is odd but it doesn’t take long before you’ve becomes used to it and Matt is now crooking his fingers, finding your g-spot in seconds. You shoot up, leaning up on your elbows and looking down to Matt like he just did a magic trick on you, before screwing your eyes shut again as he hits that same spot again, “Fuck that feels good, Matt, so- so hot, thank you… thank you~”, the entire sentence is one drawn out moan, words leaving you before you can even process what you’re saying it.

Placing your hand on top of his head, you lightly tug at his dark locks, finally peeling your eyes back open, you see his eyes squinting, suggesting he’s smiling at your small outburst. Matt pulls back, fingers stilling, “Are you ready for daddy’s cock?”

The sweet voice he uses to utter such filthy words has you moaning out again, rotating your hips to try and get his fingers to move inside you, to get him to do anything. “I’m ready, need daddy, need you to take me ‘n make me all yours… Please, I’ll be so good for you, promise…”

Slowly he takes his fingers out of you, standing up over you as you’re laid out naked before him. His clean hand holds onto the towel he wears and the other comes up to your mouth, “I know you’ll be good for me, I’ll make sure of it, babydoll. Already did such a good job lettin’ daddy fuck you with my fingers, hm?”, Matt speaks softly as he pushes his wet fingers down onto your tongue, slowly sliding in and out of your lips as your tongue moves around him, cleaning his fingers. Matt’s watching you so intensely that it makes you squirm, his eyes are glassy and his mouth is dropped slightly open in awe.

“That’s a good job, baby… How is it that my girl’s so innocent and filthy. Or are you just that obedient for me? Huh?”, you nod, fingers still in your mouth as you continue subconsciously moving your hips, eager to be full again.

Matt takes notice of your movements and decides to take pity on you. “Okay, desperate girl, how about I take care of ya now?”, removing his fingers from your mouth, wiping your saliva off on his towel before taking it off entirely.

Your jaw drops as he reveals himself to you, all you could think was how big he looked; his thin waist has a light brown happy trail, leading down to his perfectly chiseled v-line, he’s so fucking gorgeous it makes your head hurt.

Matt’s cock is hard and leaking, you can tell, even in your limited experience, that he’s probably been hard since the beginning of this entire endeavor. The tip is a dark pink and it’s shiny with pre cum as it stands at attention just under his belly button. The base is thick and lined with pulsing veins, your mouth waters at the sight, before you snap out of your thoughts, embarrassed for staring so long but still not able to pull your eyes away.

“‘S really big…”, is all you can think to whisper out to him as he looks rather sheepish standing in front of you on full display. “Is it gonna hurt…?”, the shakiness in your voice was unintentional as you begin to try and wrap your head around how that is gonna fit in you.

Matt steps closer to you, coming to sit next to your legs as they dangle off the bed. He rests a warm hand on your stomach, sliding it up and down the side of your waist comfortingly. “Sometimes it can hurt, yeah, but I promise ’m gonna really slow, okay? I’m not gonna push you to take more than you’re able to, I need you to remember this isn’t about my pleasure, okay?”, he moves his hand up to cup your cheek, rubbing his thumb under your eye with a gentle smile.

The nervous tension slowly lifts from your face at his soothing touch and kind words, “O-okay, I’m ready…” Matt sits up looking down to study your face again, “You’re one hundred percent certain? You’re not just doin’ this cause you think it’s what i want?”, he raises his eyebrows, expecting a full answer.

“Yes, I’m really sure, I need you. I want this.” you mean it, sure it was a little scary to step into such unfamiliar territory, but if Matt’s with you, you know you’re strong enough to face it. “Good girl, thank you. I got you now, gonna make you feel good.”, as he speaks he stands up, grabbing his discarded towel and laying it over his bed just in case, before lifting you up to place you on top of it.

Matt stands over you a second, admiring your flushed complexion and mussed hair, before he leans in, planting himself between your thighs and locking your lips together. As he lays between your legs you feel his hard dick laying on your stomach, breaking from the kiss, you look down to see him covering almost half of your abdomen causing you to moan out quietly, “Daddy, please, need you inside me…”, looking up into his eyes, you see how confident he is, and it helps transfer the feeling to you.

Sitting back a bit on his one knee, he reaches to his nightstand to grab a condom, “This’ll make it easier, doll, but your so wet I think we’ll be just fine…~”, his voice is silky smooth and does nothing to calm the heartbeat you feel between your legs.

You watch as he rolls the latex over himself, beginning to feel butterflies of anticipation swirl in your belly, whining as he now slaps his member onto your clit, rubbing in between your folds to collect your wetness. Matt analyzes your expression as he slowly toys with you, just almost sliding in, before pulling back out again; testing the waters.

“Matt- Please put it in, I need it in me, don’t even care if it hurts, please~”, your mindless babbling brings a sympathetic smile to his face, placing his hand onto your cheek, before finally slipping himself in. The gasp you let out causes him to stop with just the tip in, “You okay, baby~”, he drawls, still unmoving as you adjust to the intrusion. “Mmh, Ah… ‘s big…”, you’re panting as you slowly move your hips, getting used to the feeling. “More, more please…”, Matt seems skeptical of your confidence but complies with your request, leaning forward as he slides just another inch in, kissing all over your face, resting his hand on your throat, not choking or squeezing, just a light enough pressure for you to know he’s there.

“Takin’ me like a champ, darlin’, such a good girl~ you like how that feels? Can you feel how hard daddy is inside you? Hm?”, you nod and furrow your brows at the strange feeling, Matt was right, you could see how maybe this could hurt, but his pace is giving you more than enough time to adjust to his size.

After a minute of Matt slowly pushing himself almost imperceptibly into you, you finally break; “Please, you can fuck me, need it bad, I’m ready, Please~”, Matt lets out his own low moan at your pleading, “Fuck, princess, so perfect, gonna fuck you now, just like you deserve, so patient and polite…”, his words are trailed closely by a deep groan as he pulls you back into a kiss.

You realize the kiss is meant to be a sort of distraction as Matt pushes all the way to the hilt, you almost scream into his mouth at the feeling of his cock filling you to the brim. Matt pulls away at the noise, catching your eye with concern dripping off his features, you notice and immediately reassure him, the last thing you want is for him to pull out.

“‘M okay, ‘m okay just- fuck- so good, filling me up, God, ‘s so good~”, all the air feels punched out of you, but the way his dick curves inside you, sitting heavily against that spot that makes you see stars, you never want him to stop.

Once your words are out in the open, it gives Matt all he needs to finally start moving. Pulling out about three inches, he puts his hand on your jaw to keep your gaze steadily on him, holding direct eye contact as he snaps his hips into you over and over. The sound of your overlapping moans and the slap of his hips drilling into yours is almost pornographic. “Goddamn, princess, yer so fuckin’ tight, grippin’ me perfectly… Fuck I could stay in this pussy forever, baby.”, his words tumble from him as his stare burns into you. You’re trying your hardest to keep your eyes on him, but the way he’s fucking into you makes you feel like you’re floating through a dream. “Daddy, mm ‘s- so good, I feel- fuck… like you’re in my stomach… feels so fucking g-good…~”

The world around you turns blurry, like the only thing in focus on the whole of the earth is Matt’s frame above you, treating your body like it’s his. It makes your eyes roll back, a tight, hot coil wrapping through your belly. “M-Matt- fuck- feels… I feel s-something…”, your words only spur Matt on to go even deeper, “I think you’re gonna cum, babydoll, you wanna come on daddy’s dick? Let daddy take over so you can let go?”, his words are accentuated by each deep, slow thrust jostling your body as you try your best to nod. “Please, can I?”

Before answering Matt presses a firm hand over the thrusting bulge in your stomach, pulling a high-pitched moan out of you. “‘Course, babydoll, you can cum~”, his voice is edging on mischievous as he pushes you even further into ecstasy, clearly very proud of himself for the mess he’s made of you.

The minute he utters the words, you’re gripping tightly onto his arms, lightly scratching up and down them, as your orgasm rips through you, you feel your entire body convulsing as you see stars popping in front of your eyes. Matt stills in you, pushed all the way in and leans over to cover you in his body.

You must’ve blanked out for a second, as you come to, you look up to see Matt’s angelic face looking down at you, petting your head. “You back with me, princess?”, groggily you nod, still trying to catch your breath. “You’re okay, just a little too intense for you I think…” he leans down to your ear and you absently notice he’s still inside you, “You squirted, babydoll.”, he whispers, pulling away to flash you a devilish smirk, causing you to blush deeply.

“You did so good, ‘m really proud of you~”, he coos as he nuzzles against your cheek, “Gonna pull out now, okay?”, you nod along blearily, wincing as he pulls away to now stand up. “Hurts…”, your voice comes out in a whine as you reach your arms out to him.

“You’re sore, princess?”, he frowns “Want me to run you a bath? You gotta get up and use the bathroom anyway. Daddy’ll carry you.” Nodding gratefully at his insistence, you let yourself be scooped into his arms, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket and brought to sit on the counter while Matt fills his tub.

“Thank you for trusting me, sweetheart, it means everything to me. I love you.”, Matt whispers as he stands between your legs, your head resting on his chest as he holds you tightly.

°❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫ ≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈°

tags: @idrk2292 @m11rx @mattslolita @mattssslutbby @matts-girlfriend @nataliapaine

@444sturns

(these last two blogs weren’t available to tag for some reason; went a sort of roundabout way to tag but idk if it works)

#matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo smut #sturniolo fanfic #trevorsturnioloappreciator

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evileyeandthecattywhumps · 10 hours ago

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Hear me out.

Eddie and reader have established relationship. Like madly in love. And you are involved in the events of the upside down from the beginning. Every season you are involved having been friends with Johnathan since forever.

Over time you change because you know PTSD. And Eddie wants nothing more than to help you. He loves you. But you are stubborn because you can’t tell him anything. Officials made you sign NDA and they threatened to hurt those you care for. They know who Eddie and Wayne are.

He tries so hard to help but it’s killing him that he can’t because you can’t tell him what’s wrong.

So you break up. Devastated. You both are. But you have to because you need to keep him safe.

Of course seeing you and Steve become friends kills him and makes even angrier at you.

Then the events of season 4 occur and you go with the party to find Eddie. When he has the broken bottle to Steve’s neck, he hears you softly say his name. And he turns practically tackles you when he rushes into your arms. He is crying into your neck and you are rubbing his back soothingly and holding the back of his head. All you hear him say through sobs is that he didn’t do it. And you whisper back telling him that you know.

When things settle and he finally tells you all what happened he doesn’t let go of your hand.

You tell the party you are staying with him. And you convince him to lay down and lay his head on your lap. You will stay up and you run your fingers through his hair until he falls asleep.

When the party comes back and explains to Eddie what was going on. You can’t look him in the eye. You let the others explain.

You stay again free they leave a she turns to you and softly says the upside down was why you shut yourself off. Crying softly you just nod your head. He doesn’t ask anything else.

When you both go into Ricks house, you both decide to sleep in the bed together. You finally speak up and explain in detail all the events you and the gang had been through. And why you couldn’t tell him.

This leads to very emotional sex soft with tears and words of love. Until you fall asleep in each others arms.

If this sparks one of you amazing writers you for an idea to write. Please feel free to use it!

Obviously I’m not good at writing. But sometimes I have good ideas.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson angst #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson comfort #eddie munson concept #eddie munson fanfic

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salemlunaa · 6 hours ago

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🎀 NEW IDEA: ASK CHAT GPT 🎀

ꨄ Use AI to your advantage when it comes to manifesting and shifting…

Although AI can get a little weird and scary sometimes, it’s actually such a great way to get information, motivation and inspiration all in one

Instead of hounding bloggers for the same thing all the time. Go to Chat GPT.

Now, how about i give you a few examples, let’s imagine someone called maya 𖨆

maya is having trouble because she feels like when she tries to induce the void, she always falls asleep and that’s taken away so many years from her dream life

she asks Chat GPT: “I keep falling asleep every time I try to induce the void, I feel so frustrated all the time and I need some help”

Chat GPT answers: “Hi Maya, falling asleep during void practice is common, so don’t be too hard on yourself. One way to combat this is by practicing at a time when you feel awake and alert, like in the morning or after a light exercise session. Another tip is to sit up in a comfortable position rather than lying down, as it can help you stay focused and avoid dozing off. Keep practicing with patience—it’s all part of the process!”

now let’s imagine joey 𖨆

joey is feeling frustrated because he feels like he hasn’t progressed, he’s been in the community for 2+ years and really wants his dream life

he asks: “I’m feeling so frustrated and upset, like I want to give up, I’ve been trying to induce the void and get my dream life for over 2 years, I need motivation”

Chat GPT responds; “Hi Joey, I know it’s tough, but remember that persistence is key—sometimes the journey teaches you just as much as the destination. Instead of focusing on the time passed, celebrate the fact that you’re still trying, which shows incredible resilience. Take a short break if you need to, and reconnect with why you started. Visualize your dream life vividly, and remind yourself it’s worth the effort. Progress might be closer than you think!”

now chloe 𖨆 is feeling really powerless lately, circumstances hit her hard on some days and she feels stuck, she wants to be reminded how the void is so possible and so easy and she’s so capable of it all

she asks: “Can you remind me how powerful I am? Some days circumstances hit so hard and it gets thought!! Can you explain manifesting from a logical point of view to remind me how easy it all is?”

Chat GPT responds: “Hi Chloe, let me remind you of this simple truth: you are the creator of your reality, the God of your world. From a logical point of view, everything you experience stems from your thoughts, beliefs, and focus. Circumstances are just reflections—they only hold power because you give it to them. Shift your focus, and the reflection changes effortlessly. When you truly accept that you’re the one in control, nothing can stand in your way. You’ve always had the power!”

Now you can see how well it works!! You can even use them to give you affirmations, help you with vaunts. You can be as specific as you want, trauma dump as much as you want and say whatever you want without crossing boundaries or being judged. You can use Chat GPT to script, i’ve used it so many times and it has given me so many ideas. And your script will still feel like your own, just see it as your collaborating with Chat GPT and that it you helps put your thoughts into words.

You can even use it when you’re having one of those days and just need to be reminded of the fact that you’re in charge. You can even use it for some tough love or to comfort you as you vent.

Like guys you can do so many things with this, I love Chat GPT so much we’re locked in like this:

LMFAOOO IM JOKING (or am i? 😏)

But in all seriousness, some of you need this. Flooding bloggers asks and dms with questions that they have repeated the answers to multiple times, asking things you damn well know the answer to or just asking for motivation repeatedly can take away from people who actually have a good question to ask and actually need help. Like fogging up a blogger’s inbox repeatedly venting about the 3d, or asking “hOw Do I gEt iNtO tHe VoId?” knowing damn well you know the answer to that, will prevent a blogger from noticing someone who actually has a good question that many people might also have and would actually spark an interesting discussion.

So just ask Chat GPT, it’s okay to have doubts creep in from time to time, it’s okay to need a reminder of basic things, it’s okay to forget how powerful you are sometimes, but you can literally ask Chat GPT to help you with that and it will. Instead of waiting around for bloggers to answer your dm or ask just to say the same thing, you can get actual help, and get it when you want it and how you want it.

Why don’t you ask “explain the law of assumption to me like i’m 5”

“explain the void state to me from a scientific view to help me believe”

“give me some dream body affirmations”

“i’ve been so demotivated, remind me who tf i am again”

“I’m going to come from a filthy rich family when I permashift, can you give me some £10Million+ per year jobs that my desired parents can do”

“I feel so lazy today, bully me into inducing the pure consciousness instead of procrastinating”

you don’t need to harass bloggers for these things when you can have immediate access to the answers you seek.

ꨄ 🧸🎀 Go download Chat GPT and knock yourself out!! 💋

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bad268 · 2 days ago

Note

heyy, i was wondering if u could do a kimi fic even tho u r getting unnecessary backlash for it ( sorry babes ) maybe with an italian reader that reacts badly to kimi getting into a f2 crash bc a family memeber passed from a car accident and after hes i nthe hospital the ready gets clingy with him?

I'm Not Going Anywhere (Andrea Kimi Antonelli X Hubert! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/F2/F3

Requested: Clearly (I changed it to French, hope you don't mind <3)

Warnings: Imola crash, heavy mentions of Belgium 2019 (Hubert reader i mean-)

POV: Second Person (You/your)

W.C. 1887

Summary: Kimi's crash brings the reader back to the darkest time of their life

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^@/kimi.4ever on Insta from 7/25/2024)

You had finally let Kimi convince you to come to one of his races. It was one of his home races, Imola specifically, and you had never gone to a race with him. You had some deeply buried trauma with races, so you were more comfortable supporting from afar. Well, when Kimi came up to you and practically begged you to join him, you couldn’t say no. The weekend was fine. You and Kimi were doing track walks, you got to sit in his car, you got to meet some of the grid, and it all helped to ease your nerves. George and Carmen were amazing, it was fun catching up with Ollie on track, and all was well.

Qualifying went well, with Kimi ending up in the top 10, and the race was going to be a piece of cake, he said. Why was it a piece of cake? Because it was projected to rain. Why would this make it a piece of cake? Oh, because Kimi was more comfortable with driving on the wet track. You knew this as he always took you on late-night drives whenever it rained. It was just more calming to him, so you took his word as you stood beside Toto in the Mercedes garage.

Then, it was like everything was in slow motion. One second, you were listening to Toto praising Kimi’s skills, but the next, everything was silent. You had looked over at Mick as he tapped your shoulder, and out of the corner of your eye, you saw a silver car lose control. Your ears were ringing, and you couldn't focus on anything. Suddenly, you felt like you were back in Belgium 2019. The worst day of your life, the day you tried your hardest to forget, the day you lost your older brother, Anthoine. The flashbacks you tried so hard to bury were coming back in full force.

You didn’t register your legs giving out, but you felt someone’s arms wrap around you. Was it Fred? Mick? Carmen? Toto? Susie? You don’t know. The view of Kimi’s Mercedes hitting the wall replayed over and over and over again in your head. You couldn’t feel anything, and it was just like back then. Your brain was glitching, mixing up the two accidents. With that, your anxiety ran wild.

Your breathing became unsteady, you felt your heart beating at your fingertips, and your hands and forehead became clammy. You felt like you were going to throw up or pass out as you brought a shaking hand up to your chest. There was nothing you could do. There was nothing you could do to save Kimi and nothing you could say to help the situation. You were helpless.

You vaguely remembered someone lifting you to stand and help you into Kimi’s driver’s room, but you couldn’t recall who. You felt like you had no control over your body. It was almost like you were watching everything from the outside. It was the same as Belgium 2019, and there was nothing you could do.

You briefly registered a blob of someone kneeling before you. They grabbed your hands and ran their hands across your knuckles. Then, up your forearms to your shoulders. They drew shape around your legs and shoulders, coaxing you back into your body. You blinked rapidly as they did so, and after a few moments, you felt like the bricks on your chest lessened. You saw Mick kneeling in front of you. You let out a huge breath as you collapsed into his chest.

Everything was still a little hazy, but you were able to semi-follow along with what Mick was explaining. Something something breaks failed. Something hospital. Something something get in there. Mick helped you into the back of an ambulance, helping you sit next to Kimi before he said something to the medics.

No one looked at you twice as you reached out to grab Kimi’s hand, but you stopped in the air just before you could. If this was it, you knew you wouldn’t be able to hold it together if you held his hand. Your mind still replayed the ambulance ride with Anthoine, and you couldn’t shake the feeling of deja vu as you looked at Kimi.

He was unconscious, but he looked peaceful. Then again, so did Anthoine. You dropped your head for the entire ride, not wanting to face what you believed to be inevitable.

When you arrived at the hospital, a nurse directed you to a waiting room while they attended to Kimi, giving you the chance to come back to the present on your own. You clenched your fists a few times and walked around the room. You just couldn’t sit still. It felt like hours, and maybe it was until a nurse came in to update you on Kimi’s condition. Part of you had convinced yourself that he was gone, but that changed when the nurse walked in with a comforting smile.

“He’s alright,” She said as she led you through the halls to his room, “He’s a little out of it, but he should be just fine. He hit the wall pretty hard, so he has a concussion and broke his wrist. He should be back in the car in a few weeks, depending on his progress.”

“He’s alive?” You asked hopefully as your voice cracked. “Will he be okay?”

“We’re projecting a full recovery,” She comforted as you threw your arms around her and cried. The biggest weight was lifted off your shoulders after hearing this situation was different from before. Different from Anthoine. You still had Kimi, and that’s what you needed to focus on. You finally regained your senses before pulling back and wrapping your arms around yourself with a sheepish smile. “I can take you back to see him now.”

With a nod, you followed behind her silently through the halls. There was nothing you could think to say at that moment, and you didn’t want to disturb anyone you walked passed. Eventually, you both got into the lift, and she pressed the button for the fourth floor.

“Just so you know, he was asking for you,” She added just before stepping off the lift and walking towards a room to the right. It was the first door, but before she could open the door, you gently grabbed her wrist.

“What do you mean? I thought he was unconscious since the crash?” You questioned, dropping her wrist when she turned to you.

“He woke up momentarily when we were transporting him to get a CT scan,” She replied quietly. “He just whispered your name a couple of times and asked us to tell you he was alright, but he went back under almost immediately. It was very helpful actually because it showed us that he still had some memory, so we didn’t need to worry too much about amnesia. Here, head in, and I’ll send someone by to get you dinner.”

You nodded in response as she continued walking down the corridor, but you took a deep breath before walking into the room. It was just as bland as you remembered- no. You were not thinking like that. He’s fine! The nurse said so herself!

There was no color, no sounds other than the heartbeat monitor, and no movement. You would change that whenever he woke up, or you would text someone to bring flowers or something. You pulled the chair closer to his bed. He didn’t look bad for someone who just got in a life-threatening crash. He had some bruises around his temple, his left arm was wrapped, and you could see some bandages around his chest. Honestly, you were scared to touch him.

You finally got the courage to link your pinky with his. It was minimal contact, but it made you feel so much better. It also accidentally opened the floodgates. You barely registered the tears that fell from your eyes as your eyes zoned in on his hand. You analyzed the amount of wires that came out of it, the slight bruises on his wrist and fingers, and you noticed how bare his wrist was. He always had a watch or fan bracelets on, and seeing neither didn’t help the onset of tears.

You pulled one of your charm bracelets off and gently slid it on over the wires. It was one he made for you, saying “Tesoro” with a (color) heart. You made him an identical one with a red heart, but it was with the rest of his things back at the track. Just seeing one semblance of normalcy helped calm your nerves as you fiddled with the bracelet. Eventually, the day caught up to you, and you laid your head next to Kimi’s hand. You briefly looked up at him before exhaustion hit you full force.

It felt like you were asleep for hours, and maybe you were. You felt something gently running through your hair, across your cheekbones, down your arm, and eventually stopping at your hand. You registered that it was someone’s hand, and when you finally connected the dots, your eyes snapped open to see Kimi’s half-lidded eyes looking back at you.

“I’m sorry, did I scare you, Tesoro (sweetheart)?” His groggy voice asked quietly as his hand moved back up to cup your cheek. He gently wiped away the stray tears that had collected on your lashline as you struggled to form words. “You don’t have to say anything. We can talk later. All you need to know is I’m okay, I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Can I lay with you?” It came out before you registered it. Was it against hospital policy? Could be, but it didn’t stop Kimi from shifting over in the bed to make space for you. It also didn’t stop you from immediately climbing on next to him, being careful of the wires and injuries he had. You gently laid your head on his chest and wrapped an arm loosely around his stomach before looking up at him, “Is this okay?”

“If you’re comfortable, it’s perfect,” He replied in a soft tone with a smile as he placed a kiss on the top of your head. He adjusted his arm around you so the wires hung off the side of the bed, and he could still hold you. “Anything to make you feel better.”

“You just got in the accident, not me,” You chuckled halfheartedly. “I should be working around what you’re comfortable with.”

“You are,” He pointed out, “I’m comfortable when you’re comfortable. And it’s not like you're pulling on my IV or anything. We’re both comfy now, so why don’t you try to get some more sleep?”

“What about you?” You asked sleepily. The now-comfortable position made it a lot harder to stay awake, especially now that you were able to talk to Kimi and give yourself peace of mind.

“They should be in here shortly to check in,” Kimi answered before kissing the tip of your nose. “Get some sleep. I feel like it was a hard day for you. I’ll be here when you wake up, don’t worry, Tesoro.”

“Ti amo, Tesoro (I love you, sweetheart),” You whispered against Kimi’s lips as you placed one last kiss before falling asleep.

~~~~~

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courtingchaos · 2 days ago

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“My dad was a happy drunk.” The crackle of his inhale is right in your ear. “At least when he was still doing it regularly.” He holds the cigarette over for you to take. “I don’t know what he’s like now…like that.” He peters off for a moment, shimmying his shoulders across the old hardwood so one touches one of yours.

Laying oposite each other, heads in the crooks of each others necks, he glances over to see you staring holes through the ceiling.

“He never treated me like shit, not like that, like other kids. I can be grateful for that.” He takes the cigarette back from you when you hold it over his face. “It was after my mom died. It’s like he realized suddenly I could talk back and he forgot to treat me like a kid.” It’s his turn to stare at the ceiling while the ember dances around his words. “I was very suddenly his best friend. Always called me ‘pal’ but now? When he was home? It was like I was on the barstool next to him.” He’s not gonna cry about this. “I hated that shit.”

Another hand off, only this time he digs out his own smoke so you two can be in a haze together.

“So by the time I got to middle school, I didn’t have a dad, I had some guy who sometimes lived in the house with me.”

“Wait, you were living alone?”

He turns his head when you break your hours long silence, nodding as best he can while laying on the floor.

“Yeah. I didn’t move in with Wayne until ‘85.”

You stare at him for moment before turning back to face the ceiling.

“Anyways, it was a Fourth of July thing with some of his buddies. Someone forgot they were holding a bottle rocket and not a Roman candle and at the end of it all I had about half a head of singed hair.” He can remember the smell. Almost sour as the burnt strands crumbled on his shoulder and his dad has started laughing. Talking about near misses and being lucky but he hadn’t felt lucky. “Whole drive home he was trying to crack jokes and I wasn’t having it.” He takes a deep breath that makes the ember glow brightly. “I started crying and he told me to man up. I think he was sobering up, probably shook him to see me covered in soot.

“When we got home he took me into the bathroom and just shaved it all off. Didn’t put a fucking guard on it or anything. I don’t think I’d ever had hair that short, not since I was like…little.” He turns to stare at you then, eyes tracing the shell of your ear where your hair wisps around it in short curls. “He told me it was fine and that it looked better than before. Said the long hair made me look like a queer.”

That earns him a huff from you. One last puff of smoke into the ceiling before you stub out the butt into the ashtray near your elbow.

“I say all of that to tell you my opinion doesn’t matter. The people at work or the grocery store, it literally doesn’t matter.”

You spent the past two days crying about it but it seems your either over it or past the worst of it.

“If it upsets you, it upsets you and nothing I say is gonna make it better. I’m not gonna change your mind.” He holds his hand out across his chest and waits for you to grab it. “I’m sorry it didn’t come out the way you wanted, I know this keeps happening.”

“I didn’t think my hair meant so much to me.” You aren’t crying but the emotion weighs down your words, this he knows after years of practice.

“It’s okay that it did.”

“Feels stupid to cry over a bad haircut.”

He hums and shakes his head and doesn’t tell you it’s not stupid, you already know that. Simple things mean a lot, he knows that fickle game of attachment. He also knows that while his opinion does matter to you on some infinitesimal level, he doesn’t need to constantly remind you that it’s okay. He didn’t start a relationship with you over your hair. It’s just hair is something he’ll be able to say a few days from now when you finally start styling it and talking about a new product you bought. It’s a waiting game that he doesn’t mind waiting through, not with you. However he will remind you of one thing.

“Regardless, you’re still the prettiest girl I know.”

You laugh, something real but quiet, the first one in a few days. “Shut up.”

#My Work #My Fic #Eddie Munson Fic

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moonylvs · 12 hours ago

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Be Careful!

Summary: You get a new piercing and the guys find out and maybe they worry a little too much!

This was a request!: 'Hello! Could you possible do a romantic Jegulus x reader who's obsessed with getting piercings and maybe the boys are freaked about watching her get one or keep accidentally hitting her new piercing and hurting them?' I think I changed the idea a bit but I hope you like it, anon!

Pairing: Jegulus x Reader

Words: 1.5k

ⓘ Warnings: None I think? mostly fluff! Use of yn once (English is not my first language so I'm sorry for the mistakes, I hope this doesn't stop you from enjoying the story!)

Piercings were nothing new to you, you'd had a few done over the years, mostly in your ears, you thought they were cute and you had a million earrings that you swapped out over the days.

But most of these piercings you had made before you started dating James and Regulus, so they never saw when you made them or the days that followed.

James absolutely adored them, when you cuddled he would watch and play with them, Regulus loved them too, sometimes he had even given you some earrings in the shape of a star or with thin chains as a gift.

That day you decided that you wanted to try another kind of piercing, not one on your ears, you thought about one on your lip or maybe your nose, but you didn't know how much the teachers at school would like it so you preferred not to risk it.

After a while of thinking you finally decided and hours later you had your piercing, it was one in the belly button, it wasn't painful and they told you it would heal fast, which reassured you.

You didn't tell anyone that you were getting it done, not thinking it would be important, besides you thought of giving James and Regulus a little surprise.

But that day you didn't have time to say anything, James was stuck practicing on the Quidditch pitch and Regulus had to tutor a third year boy.

You didn't think much of it, you waited until they were both free to tell them.

That moment came relatively quickly, because the next day after breakfast James invited you to Hogsmaede, he said he had already told Regulus so the three of you would meet there.

It didn't take you long to get ready, putting on a skirt and a not too tight white blouse, you didn't want your clothes to be rubbing against the piercing and cause you pain.

When you arrived at Hogsmaede you could almost instantly spot James and Regulus, who were sitting on a bench in front of a Honeydukes.

Regulus didn't take long to notice you, smiling slightly, his eyes sparkling at the sight of you.

James followed after, smiling broadly and standing up, walking over to you and wrapping his arms around you.

“Hi love” Jmaes said sweetly, leaving a kiss on your forehead and wrapping his arms around your waist.

You smiled instantly, wrapping your arms around his neck and sinking into his arms, for a moment you forgot about your piercing, but quickly remembered it, as you felt a twinge of pain the moment your body touched James'.

“Ouch!” you couldn't help but let out a low gasp of pain as you felt the contact, instantly James pulled away, his brow furrowing with concern, in a second Regulus was already at his side, looking at you with the same concern.

“What happened? Did I hurt you?” James asked instantly, looking you over from head to foot for any sign of discomfort or harm, James thought maybe he had hugged you too tightly or had been too rough.

“No, no, I'm fine” You said instantly, giving him a reassuring little smile. “It's just that I accidentally crushed my piercing when we hugged” You said with some amusement, but only earned a confused look from both boys.

“Piercing?” Regulus asked with confusion, looking at your ears in search of a new piercing, but his brow furrowed as he didn't notice any new ones, he knew your piercings by memory so he would have noticed if there was a new one.

You couldn't help the slight chuckle you let out when you saw their confused faces, but you simply nodded.

“Mhm” You mumbled, lifting your white blouse very slightly so they could see your belly button, which had an earring that was silver and had a pretty light blue gem.

Both boys' eyes instantly widened, staring at the piercing in your belly button.

They were both silent for a moment, just watching it, they were totally shocked.

“Why didn't you tell us you were getting a new piercing?” Regulus said abruptly, his brow slightly furrowed and his voice sounding more serious than he intended.

Your brow furrowed instantly, watching him with some annoyance, did you have to tell them when you wanted to do something to your body?

“Why would I have to tell you?” You said with confusion and harshness, though your tone didn't sound entirely annoyed.

Regulus' face changed to one of confusion, he now understood that the question had sounded very bad and his tone of voice hadn't helped.

James noticed the tension instantly and quickly interjected.

“He didn't mean it like that!” James said instantly with some concern, making a denial sign with his hands, to which Regulus nodded instantly, his face paling slightly now he realized that you had definitely taken his question the wrong way.

“I meant why didn't you tell us so we could go with you or at least know so we wouldn't hurt you, like now” Regulus explained calmly.

Your face instantly relaxed, now you understood everything better.

“It was something out of the blue, I just wanted to do it and I didn't have time to tell you, I thought it would be a surprise” You said calmly, your face slightly embarrassed by the way you had reacted earlier.

“It suits you” Regulus said, tilting his head sideways and smiling slightly.

You could only smile brightly, feeling your cheeks flush red.

James next to him smiled too, but for a moment his face turned worried, now that he knew you had a piercing he felt bad for hugging you so tightly.

“I didn't hurt you, did I? God, I hugged you so hard didn't I? I'm sorry, if I had known-” James quickly began to say, repeating over and over again how sorry he was that he hurt you.

You couldn't help the giggle that came out of you at seeing him so worried, your hand went to his cheek, instantly silencing him.

“I'm fine, James, it was just a light brush, you didn't hurt me, okay?” you said softly, lightly caressing his cheek and leaving a kiss on his mouth.

“Are you sure?” James asked with a little pout, still worried that he might have caused you some pain.

“Mhm, but maybe a kiss would make me feel better” You said with a small amused smile, looking at his lips for a moment.

You didn't have to tell James twice, in a second his lips were on yours, leaving a soft kiss, his hands were on your waist, making sure to keep distance between both bodies, he didn't want to make the same mistake twice.

Regulus next to you just watched the two of you with affection, a small smile on his face at how careful and sweet James was.

“God forbid yn decides to get a lip piercing because that will be the end of you” Regulus muttered towards James with amusement when you and James finally broke away from the kiss.

James couldn't help but laugh, even though he himself knew that would be the end of him, the boy couldn't go a day without even giving you a kiss.

You instantly laughed, then moved closer to Regulus, cupping his cheek and leaving a kiss on his lips.

“Don't even mention it because I know you would suffer the same” You said with amusement, to which Regulus' cheeks turned pink, although he tried to hide it immediately, rolling his eyes.

The next few days were torture for both of them, James barely hugged you for fear of hurting you, but Regulus had found ways to stay glued to you, he spent most of the time holding your hand, or sitting you on his lap with his hands on your legs and not on your stomach.

James spent most of the time on top of you, watching you not to hurt yourself, you had tried to tell him that it wasn't necessary, that it wasn't even painful and he didn't have to worry so much.

But simply said, James didn't give a shit.

James spent all his time with you, walking in front of you in the corridors so that no one would accidentally hit you, always making sure that the clothes you wore weren't too tight so that you wouldn't hurt your piercing.

Regulus was a bit more reasonable, the boy asked you to let him take care of your piercing, to which you said yes, it was one less load and Regulus was very delicate.

Every day, when you woke up and before you went to sleep Regulus would clean your piercing, using soap and water with a wet washcloth, being careful not to hurt you, the black-haired boy would take his time and James would stand by and watch him the whole time, muttering a “Be careful, Reg” every now and then, to which Regulus would just roll his eyes, saying he was being careful.

The next few weeks it was like this, even though their concern was extreme for something so insignificant, you were grateful to both of them, because you were able to spend more time with them and enjoyed their care.

Although probably after a few weeks, you had started to get sick of the phrase "Be careful!"

This is so cute! I feel like I may have strayed a bit from the original idea of the request but I hope you like it! xoxo

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dira333 · 2 days ago

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Water Lily - Gaara x Reader

for @sgchop - meet uglies and confessions (or something like that) -

for the Milestone Event Week 1 - Words: 2,5k (I couldn't help myself)

Join My Taglist

“Your father asks for your presence. It’s urgent.”

You get up from your pillows right away, water lilies and books momentarily forgotten.

Your father rarely calls on you nowadays. He’s got better stuff to do.

You bow at the entrance of the main room, wait until he calls your name before you look up.

Father does not look worried. Serious, yes, but not worried.

“You’re to leave in an hour,” he addresses you without hesitation. “Your servants will pick out your finest garments.”

“Where to, Father?”

“Sunagakure, the village hidden in the wind.”

“What for, Father?”

“The Kazekage. Marry him, if you can and kill him if you can’t.”

Your throat is thight but you don’t dare swallow under his watchful gaze.

“Very well, Father. What reason will I give him for this sudden proposal?”

“What reason do you need?” He scoffs. “Get ready, you don’t have time to waste on useless conversation.”

You nod, but wait for his order to leave before you turn around. You’ve learned from your past mistakes.

You’ll be traveling like a princess.

You’ve had worse, so you don’t complain, not that you’d have anyone to complain to.

But you can’t help but feel like the water lilies.

They look so free, swimming on the surface, like nothing is tying them down.

But you know the truth, the roots that tie them to the ground.

“We’ll be staying here for the night,” your guard tells you at sunset, pointing at a cheap hotel by the road.

Your guard. He’s just one more person watching your every move.

Though you’ve got practice in outwitting them, sneaking out when they’re not looking.

It’s almost dark outside now.

The forests are thinning. You’re getting closer to the dessert.

The air is dry and warm and the setting sun paints soft pink across the sky.

“Have you gotten lost?” A voice addresses you softly from the side.

You flinch back, embarrassed to be caught.

The guy’s about your age, red hair neatly combed back. It makes him look older than he is.

“Not at all,” you tell him, correct your stance in case he wants to fight. You’re dressed like a maid and he’s dressed like a traveller but clothes don’t mean anything in a fight.

He keeps looking at you, his pale green eyes almost glowing in the growing dark. His skin is pale against the dark grey of his clothes and there’s a mark on his forehead, the color a deep red, like blood. Love, it says, and you wonder what story there is behind it.

“Care for a walk?” He asks, offering you his arm.

“Where to?”

“The horizon,” he smiles, just enough to see white teeth glinting through pale lips. “Or wherever you want to go.”

“Is there a pond nearby?” You ask him. “Or any body of water, really? I miss it dearly.”

“You come from a land with lots of water?”

You swallow your doubt. “You don’t?”

“Not particularly, no.”

“What’s it like?”

“Dry.”

You choke down a giggle. He looks as serious as ever but you’re quite sure it was meant as a joke.

“Water,” he explains, ”is a treasure. Like the rarest jewel. It’s not to be wasted or spent on something mundane. It gives us life and we know that. It’s worth does not change wether it’s a drop or a pond or the sea.”

You still next to him, transfixed by his speech.

You wonder if he knows what his words do to you.

“Do you have anything like that in your life?” He asks, offering his arm once more. You take it this time, feel the rough fabric of his sleeves against the bare skin of your arms. The amount of clothing in this warm weather suggests he’s coming from someplace near the dessert. The lack of water tells you the rest.

You keep silent as you walk, as you let him guide you through the darkness that’s growing thicker by the minute.

Is there something as dear to you as water is to him? Something with equal value?

He must sense that you’ve found an answer because he stops and turns and you can barely make out the oval of his face in the lack of light.

“Yes?”

“Freedom,” you tell him quietly but with conviction. “There is not much of it where I live. Not enough to go by everyone, and not enough to have anything left to spare. It’s measured by the pound, the inch, the breath you’re able to take. I’d give my life for a little bit more freedom.”

“It’s dangerous to give your life for something.”

“Sometimes it’s the only thing worth giving.”

He smiles, you can tell, by the glint of his teeth.

“We’ve reached the water,” he tells you next and you know it before he said it by the smell and the sound and the taste in the air.

It’s nothing but a small creak, barely enough to soak into your shoes but you let it anyway, caress your naked toes like a lover would.

“What’s your name?” You ask, though you barely dare to.

“What’s yours?”

And you smile back at him, silent, knowing this will be a secret that you share.

You wake up alone, though not by your own choice.

It’s too risky to bring someone inside, not when going out alone is almost too risky as well.

You use your time alone well, stare at the dirty brown ceiling above you and dream of the night, of dancing soundlessly in the darkness and wishing you could come closer, even closer.

You’ll have to kill the Kazekage.

There’s no way you’ll be able to love a man the way you’ve loved this stranger, this deeply even in this little time spent.

You’ll have to kill the Kazekage because there’s no way you can marry someone and love another, give up the little freedom you have left - to choose who you want to marry and who you want to kill.

- - -

Sunagakura is as tall as your valley runs deep. You stare up at those buildings in awe, at the way they seem to touch the clouds.

The air is dry and the wind carries sand, rubs your skin raw with it until you bleed.

“The Kazekage will not see you,” you’re told. No amount of money, no amount of bribery will work.

It takes you two days to figure out he’s not even home, that he left his brother in charge.

You dislike the haughty look on his face, the way he seems to look right through the veil you’re wearing, right into the bottom of your soul.

Does he know what you’re planning?

He should be thankful, you think. With his brother dead he’d be the next in line.

“The least you can do is offer something to pass the time,” you ask the one and only time you get to talk to him.

The puppeteer, they call him. You wonder if he’s manipulating you too.

He reminds you too much of your father and maybe that’s who you’re seeing instead.

“Very well,” he calls for someone to guide you around.

The markets, colorful and loud, make your heart beat louder. You wish you could stay a little longer, buy a trinket here and some sweets there, but your guards are not there to protect you but to keep you in line.

The gardens are exquisite and if you’d been allowed to, you’d bent down and sniffed the blossoms, every single one of them, just because you can and just because you want to.

But you’re not allowed and you never will be.

Lastly you visit the old hall and the portraits of every Kazekage that has been.

You stare at their dead eyes with disinterest until you reach the last painting and your breath stills in your throat.

You know those pale eyes, the red hair, the mark on his forehead. Love.

“This is-”

“Our current Kazekage, the fifth. Sabaku no Gaara.”

Freedom, the last of it that you still had, slips from your fingertips like blood from an open wound.

This is the man you’re meant to kill or to marry. And you’ll have to do it under your father’s watchful eyes.

“I’d like to go back to my room now,” you ask, voice tight, limbs shaking.

You play the part well, maybe because you’re not pretending.

It’s not that hard to figure out where he’s went to when you know where to start looking.

It’s a little harder to leave without being followed.

The knife on your hip is heavy as you run and the little water you have is your biggest treasure.

The dessert is big and your destination is far.

But if you die here, you’d at least been half succesfull.

- - -

“Have you gotten lost?”

Gaara doesn’t look at all surprised to see you.

Outside the rain is pouring. Amegakure is known for it’s predictable weather.

“Not at all.”

His clothes are dry and the room warm from the fire. Your clothes are drenched, your hair clinging to your cool skin in wet clumps.

“Care for a walk?” You offer him your arm.

“Where to?” He asks, closing his book.

“The horizon,” you smile at the memory. “Or wherever you want to go.”

“I don’t think you’ve seen some cacti nearby?” He gets up, dusting off his trousers as he steps closer. “But any flora will do, really. Dry, preferably. I miss it dearly.”

You don’t have a joke to offer but he’s not waiting for it, linking your arms instead. The rain soaks into his dry clothes instantly but he doesn’t seem to mind.

When you get outside he raises his hand and sand collects above your heads like a canopy, keeping you dry. Well, him. You’re already drenched.

You guide him through the dark alleys toward a stream, follow it for half a mile until you reach boulders.

“In there,” you point at the waterfall that drops down here. “Is a little cave. It’s very private.”

“After you.”

You swallow down your doubt and slip inside. He’s right behind you, still miraculously dry.

It’s dark in the cave. You didn’t think of bringing candles but the darkness reminds you of your first meeting, giving you back a little bravery.

“I don’t suppose you know the Village hidden behind the water lilies?”

“I’ve heard of it,” his voice is calm. You don’t dare reach for him no matter how much you want to.

“How much have you heard of it?”

“I’ve heard,” he stops for a second. “That its head is not happy with how the peace is progressing. That he’s got a tight leash on everyone going in and out and living in his village. That he’s making plans to take over whatever he can get.”

“Have you recognized me?”

“Should I have?” His voice is cool. Even. It feels like rainwater on your heated skin.

“I have left my village with a clear mission. Marry or kill the Kazekage.”

“Interesting.”

“I’ve decided to do neither of them.”

“Why?”

“Freedom.” You swallow. “Say, I want to do one thing and not the other. It would never be my own choice, would it?”

“Not even when asked?”

“I am a water lily,” you answer him truthfully. “You can only free me by cutting off the root.”

The knife is heavy on your hip. You pull it out and offer it to him on the palm of your hands.

“I’d give my life to be free. I’m asking you to take it.”

Silence washes over the cave. It seems like even the water is holding its breath.

Gaara takes the knife from you, his hands warm against your cold skin.

“Undress,” he tells you quietly, his voice barely above a murmur. “I’ll need to send your clothes to your father. He won’t believe it without evidence.”

The air is cold on your damp skin. Your shirt sticks to it, unwilling to let go. It’s clinging more to you than you’ve ever clung to life.

You can’t see Gaara, but you can hear him, just one step away, just out of reach.

“Put the clothes on the floor.”

You hear him take a step, feel his breath wash over your face, feel the tip of the knife, ice cold, blank steel, against your throat.

“What is more precious than water?” Gaara asks as the blade cuts the skin. Blood runs down your chest and drips onto the floor.

“Blood?” You ask, hoping he’ll make it quick.

“Wrong. Life.”

- - -

The news of your death travel quick.

There is no time to draw back your guards from Sunagakure in time. Their end is quick and painless, which is less than they deserve for planning a coup on the Kazekage’s life.

Your clothes, bloody and torn, reach your father with a strong worded letter.

If he dares to attempt something similar again, he will have to suffer the consequences.

It’s his last day in Amegakure.

The rain has not let up once during his stay and Gaara shields himself with sand on the way back to his hotel.

The light in his room isn’t on but he finds the window without it, the reflection of something silver sitting in the corner of it.

“Welcome back,” he’s greeted when he enters. “Can we help-”

“Dinner in my room,” he orders curtly. “Leave it at the door. I don’t want to be disturbed.”

“Very well.”

He takes the stairs two steps at a time, knocks softly against the door before he enters.

You’re stretched out on the bed, watching the raindrops race each other on the window. The knife you gave him glints back at him from the corner of the window.

“We’re leaving tonight,” he tells you before dipping down to place a kiss on your lips first only to brush his lips on the fading scar across your neck right after.

“Do we have to?” You ask, pulling him down onto the bed. You’re wearing white silk and silver jewelry, look like the morning dew came to live. “I like it here.”

“We’ll come back when you miss the rain.”

“So right after we leave?”

Gaara pinches your cheek and you giggle, curling into his arms like you’ve never belonged anywhere else.

“Tell me again,” you whisper against his skin, “what we’re going to do next."

His hand is warm on your back, rubbing a circle, a drop, a heart, into the skin.

“First we’re going back to Sunagakure.”

“Boo.”

He pinches the skin of your arm and you press a kiss to his skin as an apology.

“Then we’re getting married.”

“And if my father asks-”

“You’ve never met him before in your life.”

You giggle at this.

“Freedom.” You sigh. “Finally.”

“What’s your new name going to be?” Gaara asks, pushing a lock of your hair behind your hair.

You stare out the window where the sun finally glints through the clouds after days of relentless rain.

“Suiren. Water Lily.”

Taglist: @kaykaystrings @alexxavicry @tsxkishimx @mytanuki-kun

#my writing #milestone event #naruto x reader #naruto fluff #naruto angst #naruto #gaara x reader #gaara fluff #gaara angst #gaara sabakuno #gaara no sabaku #kazekage #kazekage gaara

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bluecapsicum · 11 hours ago

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hi Blue! I am absolutely IN LOVE with the "Reports From Unknown Places" series. If you don't mind me asking, how did you learn to draw the clouds and the sky so well? I've always found the prospect very daunting, but you draw them in a way that simply amazing! Do you have any tips for brushes/practice?

Hello!

Thank you so much for the message, and your kind words! I'm so glad you enjoy Reports.

I completely understand how one might find drawing the sky daunting. I still regularly give myself headaches when working on reports. Everyone has their own issues when it comes to drawing, though.

For instance, this might sound a bit absurd, but one of my main issues as an illustrator is that I don't think well in 3D, and I ended up realising that I was unconsciously thinking about the sky as a flat image. When I started drawing clouds as objects moving in space, everything became a little easier.

(This is the kind of epiphany that I had. Truly a revolution in my mind. Now I can totally rotate clouds in my brain.)

This all came about as I kept on drawing more and more, sure, but the most important part really was watching clouds for myself, as much as possible, and to try and notice things every time. It's mostly silly stuff, especially at first, like oh yeah, I guess clouds produce shadows on other clouds too. Wow! Or, huh, this cloud doesn't have the same density throughout, so the light scatters differently inside of it.

Because it's all fundamentally physics, it ended up sounding incredibly simple once I had noticed it. Of course! It's all logical! I had just never connected the dots before I saw it in person.

So I also bought some books, and watched videos (all those airplane videos are fantastic), read websites, looked at pictures. Everything was helpful in one way or another. Listen, I knew about cirrus and cumulonimbus and that was pretty much it, at first. So looking at diagrams about how high cirrus are in comparison to stratocumulus, for instance, was a revelation. Looking at the life cycle of cumulonimbus explained so much for me.

These are studies I did on the side of Reports, in November 2020, then April 2021, and the third one in September 2023:

I think I'm able to look at these and tell that I got progressively more confident because I understood what I was drawing a lot better.

If I had to say, a few concrete things I learned that work for me is being bold, not to be afraid of contrast and sharp edges, and to treat light as an actor of its own. I can't find it right now, but I once read a quote by (I think!) Cezanne that went something like "I'm not painting the mountain, I'm painting the air between me and the mountain". I think it's the most helpful thing I've ever heard for painting and drawing. It's obviously especially relevant here. The air changes everything.

Anyway, I could go for ages more, I'm totally rambling, so I'll just leave a few references I find helpful:

The International Cloud Atlas

The Cloud Appreciation Society

What's This Cloud

In the end it's just fun, and good for the soul, to spend quality time with clouds, so nothing is ever lost!

#smooth-and-skeletal #ask #answered ask #answer #faq #question #answered #image description in alt text #reference #long post #I hope this is in ANY WAY helpful omg I rambled so much

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justlookfrightened · 3 days ago

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Masquerade

Filling a prompt from from @hufflepunkwannabe: And perhaps Lardo and bitty playing with makeup?

“Lardo?”

Bitty tapped at her door, which was not quite closed, and pushed it further open.

“Do you know when — “

He stopped abruptly.

Lardo was sitting at the desk, an array of makeup tubes and palettes abd brushes laid out on the surface. It was undoubtedly Lardo sitting there facing the mirror, but the reflection looking back at Bitty was somehow not the same. With the slicked back hair, sharper jaw, more prominent brows, it looked like Lardo’s twin brother. Even though Bitty knew Lardo didn’t have a brother, twin or otherwise.

“What was that?” Lardo turned and asked, sounding just the same.

Bitty gathered himself enough to remember why he was looking for Lardo.

“Um, do you know when the bus is leaving for Colgate on Saturday?” he asked. Because Jack had a home game Friday night, and there was a chance Bitty could get to Providence for the game and spend the night, if he could get back in time to be on the bus for the weekend roadie.

“On the bus at 10:15, pulling out at 10:30,” Lardo said. “And we get back from Dartmouth late Sunday night.”

“Yeah, I knew that part,” Bitty said.

“Why?” Lardo asked. “You have plans for Saturday morning?”

“Study group,” Bitty fibbed. Really, if he were really going to study groups all the times he said he was, he should be making the dean’s list this semester. Which he most definitely was not.

“You’re probably not going to make that one,” Lardo said, turning back to the mirror. “No one wants to get up that early on Saturday.”

Except Jack.

“Other athletes,” Bitty said. “We’ll meet early, and I’ll be back in time.”

Which was perfect. He would have an excuse not to be home when the rest of the house got up.

Bitty watched Lardo squint into the mirror, then take a dark pencil to her brows, making them look even heavier.

“Uh, Lardo?” Bitty asked. “What are you doing?”

“Practicing my makeup,” she said. “I’m doing, like, a drag king look for a photo project someone in my class is doing. What do you think?”

“You look like a guy,” Bitty said. “I mean, like yourself, but also like a guy. How do you do that?”

“The magic of contouring,” Lardo said. “It’s really just using different shades of makeup to change the way people perceive your features. Kinda the same way you use light and shadow to make a two-dimensional painting have depth. A lot of women who wear makeup do it all the time, just not to look like a boy.”

“Huh,” Bitty said. “That’s pretty cool.”

He watched a little longer.

“Do you think you could teach me?”

“Teach you what?” Lardo said. “To use makeup to look more masculine? Because I gotta say, especially with the way that haircut emphasizes your facial structure, you do look like a guy.”

“Really?” Bitty said. “Even though —”

He waved his hand in front of his face, emphasizing the features he always thought of as too delicate. They were nothing like Jack’s, or even Shitty’s.

“I mean,” Lardo said, “You do have big eyes. But your facial bones are more prominent than most women’s. But maybe I could make you up to look like a girl? Or a more manly man, I guess. Either way.”

An idea hatched in Bitty’s brain.

“Could we try both?” he said.

“Why not?” Lardo said. “Sit down.”

First, she recreated her masculine look on Bitty, using makeup a shade or two darker than his skin tone to contour under his jaw, around his forehead, and under his cheekbones. She added lighter makeup to his cheekbones and brow, then found a light brown pencil in her kit to thicken his blond eyebrows.

After a lot of blending and a layer of setting powder, Lardo handed him the mirror.

“Well?” she said.

“Wow,” Bitty said. “I look like … I don’t even know. A real boy, or man, I guess.”

“Bits,” Lardo said. “You are a real man, makeup or not. But now I get to make you look like a girl.”

“Wait,” Bitty said. “Let me take a picture first.”

Bitty raised his phone to snap a selfie, first alone, and then another with Lardo.

“Okay,” Bitty said. “Do your worst.”

Lardo stepped back.

“We don’t have to if it makes you uncomfortable,” she said. “I just kind of wanted to practice drag makeup too. And I get to use colors.”

“No, it’s fine,” Bitty said. And it was. Shitty always said boys could wear makeup, anyway. And it might be fun to see what he would look like as a girl.

“Okay then,” Lardo said, opening the door to the bathroom she shared with Chowder. “Wash your face.”

Then Lardo got to work, using the darker contour makeup more sparingly but adding more highlighter. She said she wouldn’t pluck Bitty’s eyebrows, but she used a small comb to brush them upwards. Contouring made his nose look thinner and his jaw more rounded, she explained, and eyeliner and mascara made his already big eyes look even larger.

“Now comes the fun part,” she said, choosing a palette of eyeshadows in lighter colors, the better to make his browline look higher. Blush and a shiny lip gloss completed the look before she handed Bitty the mirror.

Whereas the masculine makeup had made Bitty look somehow like himself, only moreso, this makeup made him look like a different person entirely. Someone he could dress up as, maybe, but definitely not him.

Still, he thought he was kind of cute. He liked what the mascara and eyeliner did for his eyes. Maybe he could just do that sometimes?

Bitty wondered what Jack would think if he saw him this way. Jack, after all, was attracted to women. Would he prefer Bitty as a woman? Was that a can of worms Bitty wanted to open?

“You want a picture before you wash it off?” Lardo said.

“Sure,” Bitty said. “Why not?”

Because if Jack would prefer Bitty with feminine makeup, maybe that was something he could do sometimes? People dressed up for the partners all the time, didn’t they?

Bitty and Lardo repeated the selfies — one of Bitty on his own and one with Lardo — before Bitty went to clean his face again.

When he came out of the bathroom, he realized Lardo was still wearing masculine makeup.

“So, you like that?” he said. “Looking like a guy?”

Lardo shrugged.

“A little, yeah,” she said. “Feels a little weird. But maybe sometimes? You didn’t like looking like a girl, though, did you?”

Bitty shook his head.

“Maybe because too many assholes have tried to insult me by calling me a girl,” he said. “Even though being a girl is not a bad thing. To be clear.”

“I gotchu,” Lardo said. “No worries.”

When he got back to his room, Bitty sent both selfies to Jack.

Lardo and me were playing around with makeup. What do you think?

It took a few minutes for Jack to answer. He could have been driving; practice had ended not long before.

You always look great, Jack finally texted back. Whatever you want is good. The more feminine one, though — it would take some getting used to for me, I guess. Although the eye makeup is cool.

Bitty exhaled, letting out tension he hadn’t been aware of.

My thoughts exactly, he said. I can make it Friday night as long as I get back here to be on the bus at 10:15 Saturday.

Great, Jack replied. I can drop you off by the library at 9:30 or so.

#omg check please #omgcp #zimbits #my fic #prompt fill

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ilovedinodino · 16 hours ago

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…i was so miserable? l. hc smau

26. different (written) wc: 1515

Haechan, as usual, came to the studio first and very early. In fact, he didn't want to come today at all, because he needed to tell you what he knows, otherwise Renjun would do it, and then things would get even worse. But the main reason he didn’t want to come and see you was fear. He was scared and shy to look you in the eyes after finding out you had feelings for him. Of course, he had feelings for you too—very strong ones—but for some reason, your mutual feelings frightened him yesterday. He had been so sure that you would never like him in that way and that he would never have a chance with you. He was prepared for rejection and had accepted that you would never be together. But yesterday, you proved him wrong, and now his head was spinning with emotions. He was overwhelmed and nervous.

Every training session with you had been fun and comfortable, which surprised you. Falling for Haechan after just seven practices wasn’t something you expected. But he truly was special. Haechan was always kind to you. Even when you made mistakes, he never got upset but patiently helped and supported you. He took charge of everything, you could say that he was the leader in your duo and a very caring leader.

Haechan was different. He wasn’t like your ex.

After your breakup with Chanhyun, you were convinced that you didn’t deserve love and that you would never find someone who could truly be a good partner. He never listened to you and pretended that nothing was going on with you and that you didn't have any problems. Chanhyun never cared about you, ignored your feelings as if they didn’t exist. He saw your diaries and notes in secret and hid about it until one day you saw your diary out of place. It broke your heart that even though he saw everything, he didn't try to talk to you. Even when you tried to talk to him and show him how much you were struggling, he remained indifferent.

Haechan was different.

After that experience, you closed yourself off, even from close friends, and only shared your thoughts and feelings online, where no one knew you. You kept telling everyone you were fine, and most people believed you. But not Renjun. Renjun always knew you better than you realized. He saw how unhappy you were with Changhyun and tried to warn you, but you didn’t listen. After your heart was broken, he was the one who stayed by your side. He saw your tears and the depression you sank into. That’s why Renjun became like an older brother to you, protecting, caring for you and didn't let suspicious guys near you. You didn’t mind. At that point, love wasn’t important to you anymore.

You left the café, holding two cheesecakes and a coffee, feeling happy. Today, you and Haechan were finally going to finish your choreography, and you couldn’t wait to show it to your team.

When you entered the studio, you heard familiar music. “Ateez?”

Haechan was sitting on the couch with his phone in hand. Hearing the door open, he looked up. “Oh, Y/N!” “Hi!” you smiled, sitting next to him and placing the cheesecakes and coffee on the small table. “I got one with strawberry and one with chocolate. I hope you’ll like them. This café always has the best cheesecakes!” you said with a sweet smile.

Haechan froze, staring at you. You were so beautiful in that moment, and he felt his love for you grow even stronger. Wait. Love? Did he love you?

“I’m sure they’re the best cheesecakes,” he replied warmly.

You stood up to go change, but suddenly paused as you listened to the music. “Wait, Ateez? Why are you playing them?” “They just had a comeback, so I decided to listen. Plus, you like them.”

You nodded, heading towards the changing room, but a thought crossed your mind: How does he know I like Ateez?

You stopped in the doorway. “Donghyuck?” “Yeah?” “How do you know I like them?”

The air in the room felt heavy. You weren’t smiling anymore, and Haechan noticed, becoming slightly anxious. “You told me! I remember you mentioned them once, so I remembered!” he said, trying to sound confident. “Oh, really?” you replied awkwardly,already believing in his words, but then he added: “I even remember that your bias is Yunho.”

What?

“Yunho?” “Yeah, you like him a lot, don’t you?” “I never said Yunho was my bias.” “You did.” “No.” “Yes, Y/N, you…” “No. My bias is Seonghwa, not Yunho. And, by the way, I’ve never even mentioned Seonghwa before. Yet you’re claiming I talked about Yunho.”

Why was Haechan so sure about this? What made him think that? How did he even know you liked Ateez? Did you ever tell him?

You froze. “Y/N, are you okay?”

Haechan’s behavior was suspicious. You started recalling all the moments when he unexpectedly showed up when you needed something. You thought he was just attentive, but no, that didn’t seem to be the case.

You remembered how he suddenly gave you chocolates. How he comforted you when you were anxious. How he unexpectedly suggested going for a walk. How someone "randomly" transferred you money when you needed it. How you suddenly started hearing Ateez songs and that your bias is Yunho. And finally, you noticed how Haechan’s attitude toward you had changed. He became more cautious and caring. If he used to joke around and tease you often, now he was entirely different.

Haechan had changed. Haechan knew.

“Do you know about my Twitter?” you asked sharply, looking at him.

Haechan froze, panic spreading across his face. “T-Twitter? Of course, I know. Everyone knows. You know mine too, right?” He let out an awkward laugh, trying to play it off.

“My private account.”

From his reaction, you realized everything. He knew about your Twitter. He knew all your thoughts and struggles.

Haechan swallowed hard and stood up, looking you in the eye. “Y/N, I...”

“You know about my account, Haechan.”

Haechan froze. You never called him Haechan; you were the only one who always used his real name. Hearing his nickname from you in such a cold tone hurt him deeply. “No, no... I’m Donghyuck, not Haechan,” he stammered.

“And here I thought you were just attentive, but instead, you stayed silent and kept it all to yourself?” Your eyes welled up with tears as you stepped away from him.

Haechan panicked and stepped closer, trying to take your hands in his. “Y/N, let me explain everything... It was an accident...”

“God, Renjun was right...” You stepped even further away and lowered your head. Haechan saw tears streaming down your face.

“Y/N, Y/N, I didn’t mean to. I came across it accidentally, please hear me out.”

“You seriously read everything about me, and...” You raised your head, and Haechan froze. “How am I supposed to dance that choreo with you after this?”

Haechan’s heart shattered. “Please, Y/N, hear me out. I didn’t find out that long ago. I wanted to tell you, but I was scared. I was afraid you’d shut me out. We were never that close, and I thought this was a good way to understand you better. I genuinely wanted to help you.”

“You wanted to know me without asking me directly? You know, maybe it’s my fault for not locking my account. It’s not your fault—it’s mine,” you said bitterly.

“No, Y/N, you’re not to blame. Please, don’t say that.”

“Haechan, I just don’t know how to talk to you now, knowing that you know everything about me. Knowing I..." "...I was so miserable?"

“Y/N, don’t say that. Please. You’re not awful. There’s nothing wrong with this.”

“It hurts to know that you now know my worst secrets, but I don’t know anything about you except the image you show to others.”

Haechan stood there, stunned. He watched you breathe rapidly, and he himself was on the verge of tears. “That’s not true! You know a lot about me already, and if you want, I can open up to you even more.”

“So you know that I have feelings for you,” you interrupted, recalling your tweet.

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry, but I want to go home. I can’t dance,” you said as you started gathering your things.

“Y/N, please don’t shut me out. We need to talk...”

You stayed silent.

“Do you want me to tell Jeno that we can’t show our dance? I’ll tell him it’s my fault. I won’t mention you.”

You still said nothing, a lump in your throat stopping you from speaking. Haechan wanted to hug you but feared crossing another line.

“I...” you stammered. “Tell him whatever you want,” you said and walked out of the studio.

Haechan wanted to run after you. He didn’t want to leave you in such a state, knowing he had caused it. But he stayed frozen, staring at the door, tears welling up in his eyes.

Was Haechan different?

-------

prev / masterlist / next

note: I put my soul here. It was so funny to me when you all thought that renjun was jealous and in love with her😭 renjun is my favourite here btw

taglist (open) : @alethea-moon @dinonuguaegi @jenoleeaesthetic @gukuwii @doughyk @elsbunny @dudekiss3r @yuthabitz @thegracerammy @soobinbunnie5 @joyzluvr @yewshi @miniature-tragedy @jaymelee @foxy-kitsune @slayhaechan @chibilino @sleepyvic @minkyuncutie @olladecaramelos @samvagejkflxhrt @gomdoleemyson @nctjunie @ypoom151999

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astro-witchery · 1 day ago

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Crazy that there is a whole part of tumblr that abhors astrology and actively try’s to dismantle it due to it being considered (to them) harmful and discriminatory.

I think this speaks to a couple of things. Some of y’all’s practices are discriminatory, even if you don’t realize. I also practice Western Tropical Astrology so I understand my takes might be a little bit different. But I’ve heard a lot of POC and LGBTQA+ folks say that they aren’t represented enough in astrological interpretations. This can be changed and you, as people learning and practicing astrology should do better to accommodate all people. Some also use the zodiac archetypes and interpretations to actively put people down and make others feel like shit. Stop doing that too. Generalized statements (in and outside astrological spaces) are just never a good idea and could definitely be contributing to the narrative that astrology is harmful.

I think also people do not understand the history or what goes into calculating astrology. This isn’t something new that people started doing. Greek philosophers used astrology, many people and civilizations throughout history used some form of astrology or astrological observation. It involves a lot of math and calculations. It’s also just a philosophical exercise and for a long time was the only answers that our ancestors had about anything. It’s blends math, astronomy, spirituality, and psychology all together and gives humans another perspective into the human experience. There’s really nothing more to it than that.

Like all tools and a lot of spiritual tools, people will misuse them. They can even use them for harm. I’m sorry to anyone who had a bad experience with the astrological or spiritual community. There are good astrologers out there that I promise are not problematic and actually have had astrology better their lives and the lives of those around them.

That’s all I wanted to say. I was just surprised to see such animosity geared towards astrologers. I’ve never seen stuff like that before and wanted to share my 2¢

#astrology #astrology observations #astrology placements #beginner astrologer #beginner astrology #astrology memes #astrologer #tropical astrology #astro observations #astro posts #astro notes #astro community #astroblr #astro placements

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perfectlyvalid49 · 9 hours ago

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There is a difference between disrespected and being uncomfy and I appreciate your ability to at least see the nuance.

If you looked at the “show more” tab on the quotation link, it would have given you more options but I didn’t think I needed to explain that 🙃 The semantics of things seems silly after a point but I think we’re both still coming at a place of valid intention.

Similarly to some of my arguments it feels like you still neglect that history is full of things older and outside of the Jewish tradition (like Zoroastrianism, Phoenician/Canaanite tribes that were largely wiped out BECAUSE of tribal conflict that included a WIDE array of Jewish people up until, if I’m not mistaken, basically Babylon and even some of the literature around Ur and the Nile from how human became sentient has some oddly universal stories (forbidden fruit, the allegorical nature of the stars, the fall of man with Cain (farming) and Abel (hunter gatherer).

The point of this whole discussion stems from the argument from tradition which feels fallacious given how no one ACTUALLY claims anything after a certain point so why get your knickers in a twist to point out that, hey, maybe the nuance exists in ways that are legitimately concerning like why the IDF is systemically pulling fascist moves against Palestinians.

I appreciate your input nonetheless and think we largely agree, it’s just the gatekeeping piece that genuinely confuses me because it feels inherently oppressive to people who may think that the 40+ crowd who conveniently seem to be majority if not only men, get to dictate the narrative of how a specific religion operates, ESPECIALLY if that means *checks notes again* chopping a part of a baby’s dick off????

You're right, there is a difference between being disrespected and being un-comfy. I’m not un-comfy.

The “show more” tab under the famously inaccurate Google AI overview? Your argument for the reason that you can use quotes to paraphrase is that a hallucinating AI says so? I just want to be sure that’s your argument before I click the tab and check…

It still doesn’t say that. Like, that’s a bad argument because AI is not a valid counter to actual sources, but it’s also a bad argument because nothing in the link you gave actually said you could do what you did anyway. And then you tried to make me look foolish by implying that you need to explain to me that I just needed to click the “show more” tab. You might think we both have good intentions, but I am seriously doubting yours.

You’re shifting goalposts here. We started talking specifically about Jews and Jewish populations. I’m not neglecting the fact that history is full of things older than Judaism and outside of Judaism, they’re just simply not relevant to the specific conversation we’re having. And I’m not sure what you think I’m arguing from tradition, either. Unless you mean Jewish traditions themselves? I think it’s fair to say that our traditions are our traditions. If they need changing, that is for the Jewish community to decide amongst ourselves, not a conversation that you get to take part in.

I’m sorry you feel gatekept, but not everything in the world is available for you to take. Specifically closed religions, especially closed religions of minority groups, are not available to you. And I think this is a good thing. Jews are outnumbered on this planet 500 to one. If Judaism were an open religion, it would not be hard for a bunch of Christians to declare themselves Jewish, and then change Jewish practice to include Jesus. Like, to be very specific, there are more Evangelical Christian Zionists in the United States than there are Jews in the entire world. If they all declared themselves Jewish, but said they were keeping Jesus, the MAJORITY of Jews would be followers of Jesus. The gatekeeping is to ensure that changes to how we practice our religion and our culture come from us, and not overwhelming outside influences.

Circumcision is part of an important Jewish ritual. If Jews decide to stop observing that ritual, that decision needs to come from Jews, which you are not. Your opinion here simply doesn’t matter. I know that as a cultural Christian you need to feel centered in every conversation, but this one doesn’t involve you. In addition, the way you talk about what is really a beautiful ritual is disrespectful to the point of being dangerous. Christian obsession over circumcision has led to accusations of Jewish pedophilia and Jews doing satanic rituals with the collected foreskins, which have led to attacks against Jewish communities.

I’m sorry you’re not happy with your circumcision, though again, unless it was done as part of the Jewish tradition (and from what you said it seems like it wasn’t) then I’m not sure why you’re so hung up on Jews doing it. Why not start by advocating for non-Jews to stop doing it, as that seems like it would be more relevant to your personal trauma? Your obsession with the Jewish practice is antisemitic; you need to let it go.

#asks and answers #antisemitism #goydacity #my notifications are showing me that a few dozen people are finding this entertaining so we'll let it go for a bit longer

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mossy-paws · 2 days ago

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hello! I do parody accounts of phighting characters on twt, I was wondering if you would allow me to make a parody account of one of your biografts? (Leaning towards mossgraft or jestergraft.) I was also here to half ask if you have any more content of either of them../nf/lh

STARES SO HARD,,, I think I would be cool with that!! I definitely recommend dm-ing me on here or discord though so we can both talk about it a bit more so we can lay some stuffs down :3! Especially if you’re thinking about doing one for Mossgraft since I’m really attached to her specifically + they have PROBABLY the most expansive lore!

Also,, ohhhhhh boy do I got some food for you /silly like I said Mossgraft is my BABY (they were also my first EVER PHIGHTING oc and were made like 2 days after I got into the game LMFAO) so out of all of my bio’s them, Clementine, and Wall-e are by far my favorites

buuuut for Mossgraft and wall-e specifically with lore, there is a LOT, so I’ll start with a bit of design and lore history and then get into the really fun stuff :3

soooo where to begin! So to start, like I said Mossgraft was my first ever phighting oc made basically when I first got into the fandom, originally, Mossgraft was a custom built supposed to be betagraft prototype that failed pretty harshly and became sentient and then booked it out to playground LMAO, they were also supposed to be married to catshot because when i first started playing the game I wouldn’t stop calling him “wife” (catshot as a skin was also literally the ENTIRE reason why I first started playing,, that and broker). This is not Mossgrafts lore anymore (at least not fully) and they safe to say aren’t married to anyone now.

Mossgrafts old design was also WAAAAY different to say the least, when making it I was having such an actual pain trying to get the colors right + I didn’t really have much down for their lore, so you can probably see the struggle I was having there LMFAO

Now! Time for the fun parts when it came to design, obviously you can tell after I created that absolutely horrific version of them I still was VERY unhappy about their colors and stuff, so I was playing around with them on this one specific piece (if anyone remembers this you are the GOAT) which was I BELIEVE(?) made when BH was first introduced. At this point I don’t really remember much extra lore and stuff for them (not even the venom bits were thought up yet) but yeah!

At this point though, I really wanted to make an actual design for Mossgraft, and so I did! This was when I first came up with the idea of murder dronifying them /j and when I first came up with Wall-e! At this point Wall-e’s lore was basically non-existent other then what’s on the ref LMAO and mossgraft’s was still a huge WIP

Now this is just a really small but pretty influential thing I made for Wall-e, this was when I was first coming up with his lore! Basically, Wall-e is one of three original biograft proto-types created by subspace. All of them were made as a sort of practice to see if they could actually mass produce Biografts- with Wall-e being the zetagraft proto, Violet being the Betagraft proto, and cyan being scrapped completely

Why was Proto-type cyan specifically cancelled? Well, all of the protos were made for one reason; testing. They were made to be used as testers and NOTHING else, just as a sort of social experiment in a way where Subspace can monitor their behaviors and such and then later on make changes to the designs and coding and such. This didn’t go well though, and Cyan ended up going rogue and dismantling Violet (who was also beginning to go grow sentient, it was just much less violent about it and was uncontrollable because of fear) and then breaking out of the labs and going on a rampage and killing a ton of Blackrock civilians before it was eventually recaptured and killed. Wall-e, afterwards, was SUPPOSED to be dismantled, but managed to somehow escape (NOTE: this was changed later down the line and now in wall-e lore Cyan had attempted to dismantle it too but failed before it was detained). Mossgraft, shortly before cyans failure, was created as another way to test biografts made for war, created with Violets alternative blueprints and made 3000 times more deadly… this though, also failed. After cyans failure (NOTE: in new lore, Mossgraft was the one who eventually killed Cyan after a few months of it being rampant, which is why wall-e was eventually saved by it) Mossgraft managed to break free from Blackrock, saving wall-e from being dismantled in the process completely by accident, and… then moved to playground to be spiteful…… It didn’t ask for wall-e to come follow it, wall-e just ended up tagging along after his saving and just,, hasn’t left. Mossgraft doesn’t really mind this though, since wall-e hasn’t done anything to harm Mossgraft. (Maybe Mossgraft cares a LITTLE bit about it, just maybe, they would never say it though).

in playground, Mossgraft was later found and taken in (?) by a small gang of demons who use it as basically a fucking threat to anyone trying to annoy them LMAO, these guys don’t have designs yet, but they’re named Rainbowcape (just a little gal,, she’s as sweet as can be in most occasions although she can be a bit mean even if she doesn’t mean it, she has a good heart though), Overseer spider (a manipulative little rat of a man /j who’s a Thieves den/Blackrock demon who later moved to playground because he hated both of his parent factions. Does he like playground? No, no not really, but in his opinions it’s better than either of the latter.), and a few other demons who I really haven’t put much thought into. Mossgraft honestly does NOT care much about the gang, they just also tolerate their presence because 1) they haven’t done anything violent to Mossgraft yet 2) treat Mossgraft really well since Mossgraft is basically their shield and means of protection and 3) Mossgraft kind of thinks they’re funny, it’s like watching a sitcom with those demons.

For dreamgraft, its lore ties pretty heavily in with Mossgrafts, although its lore is much less “pronounced” then M’s is. For Dreamgraft, it was created specifically to target and kill Mossgraft, other rogue bio’s, and demons (although mainly to track down and kill Mossgraft). I actually came up with dreamgraft’s concept well. From their namesake, although they looked way different in my dream then on paper LMAO

But! Back on track, Dreamgraft was created using another offshoot of regular betagraft (and a tiny bit of violets) blueprints AFTER Mossgraft had left. Why now, would a biograft be made specifically to hunt down another one? Well… this is because of Mossgraft basically being a walking war crime, which was also why it was never remade, Mossgraft is INCREDIBLY dangerous and the other factions did not appreciate it getting loose so they had to get on blackrocks ass about fixing their mistakes and killing it……. This is easier said then done though, because Mossgraft knows DAMN WELL that it does not wanna get dismantled so will gladly do anything to avoid getting caught by anything it so even suspects to be of Blackrock origin. So, they had to come up with a counter too it- and so Dreamgraft was made! Its code, unlike Mossgrafts, was absolutely PERFECTED and because of this Dreamgraft isn’t sentient, its biggest goal is to track down Mossgraft and kill it. Mossgraft is smart enough to know how to avoid it in most circumstances, though it has had some close calls in the past since dreamgraft’s toxic vapor can be a real pain to get away from.

Jestergraft was created as something akin to a “show biograft” and is subspaces personal pet biograft. How did he get away with making this when it does almost nothing else other then looking pretty, you may ask? No clue! But hey at least it can tell you the time and juggle!! Anyways subspace basically just wanted a biograft he could baby and it SHOWS with Jestergraft… especially because it’s sentient and boy oh boy is this little fucker smart. It’s code corrupted almost the second it was made but it’s learned how to masterfully hide it since if it shows any sort of sentience around its creator it’ll get dismantled. It also copy’s subspace’s manner of speech (making it even more insufferable to be around).

It also doesn't really *like* other biografts, but it knows how to manipulate them into doing its bidding’s when subspace isn’t looking. Dreamgraft on the other hand it HATES because it can’t. It thinks Dreamgraft 1) is a threat to its status and 2) sentient…. It’s not, though, why does Jestergraft think it is? Absolutely no clue at all. I like to think of it as some mad little brother trying to pin all bad these things on the really tired, annoyed, and uncaring older sibling who’s done absolutely nothing.

so, that’s basically it for a lot of their lore! I’m not gonna be doing mangografts/clementines/or sootgrafts for the time being since sootgraft and Mangograft have their own lores and clementines would take HOURS to write out fully (I actually DO have a plan for drawing out a poem I wrote out about biografts that will reveal a lot of his lore in the distance future, but for now I just don’t really have the time to dedicate to it :sadface:). For Mossgraft and wall-e though, I do actually have some FUNNNN ideas for them planned in the future! Specifically since I’ve been getting into transformers I’ve been itching to make some fun little “what if” alternative designs for them specifically, as well as some other lore pieces and such of them! For prototype cyan, I actually wrote a small little fic of them a long time ago, I doubt I’ll ever post it but if I do I’ll be sure to attach it to here! It’s very unfinished and old though so it’s not the most interesting read LOL

now,, for some fun stuff! Doodles and extra little pieces :3

First one is because a friend said they wanted to kiss Mossgraft (hi steam), second was actually a tumblr request! It was a fun little piece where someone asked me how the bio’s would react to a phone (fun fact, none of them know what one is (besides jester that is)). The third and fourth pieces were me trying to redesign Mossgraft and wall-e after their second ref was made (I later gave up because of motivation loss LMAO). Sixth was self indulgent, I just wanted to draw them as cats, seventh is an old old doodle of Cyan, this was me just testing out a brush. And the last is just a fun little wall-e thing

anyways! I hope you liked the lore dump, if you wanna talk more about making a parody account please do dm me for sure :3! I do got some important stuff to lay down (duh) but yeah!

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srovtl · 3 days ago

Text

(in here, a magic that connects hearts) Faust SSR Card Story Translation

Translator note: This, and all the fifth anniversary card stories, reference each character’s affection story (which can be read here) and I recommend reading them beforehand.

also thanks for Sra and nor from twitter for providing me with the raws

Don't go easy, but let your heart be at ease - Episode 1

Akira: (Faust wasn't in his room. Is he out somewhere?)

It's been a while since I started living at the magic manor.

I was going around asking everyone for interviews again, hoping to add to the contents of the sage's manual.

Faust: Sage. We're back.

Figaro: Hello, sage.

Akira: Welcome back. So both of you were out?

Figaro: Yeah, we went to a store I'm familiar with.

Akira: There are all kinds of flowers in this basket. They're beautiful.

Faust: They're all rare varieties. I'm planning to use them in the next class.

Faust: For example, this blue bud is for Shino. It's a flower that is sensitive to people's gazes, and if you stare at it for five minutes, the bud will open.

Figaro: But if you look away for even a second, it won't bloom, even if you wait five minutes. It's perfect for training your patience.

Figaro: The blue flower next to it was for Heathcliff, right? It scatters pollen irregularly and makes you sleepy.

Faust: The more sensitive you are, the more sleepy you will be. I hope this will help him practice using magic to defend himself instantly.

Akira: Wow, they were chosen to suit each individual's personality. Interesting.

Akira: Then, is this bushy grass that looks like a cat toy for Nero?

Faust: Yes. We talked about this plant in detail in the last lesson. This is to make sure he actually reviewed it.

Figaro: It's like a surprise test. I'm looking forward to seeing Nero's reaction.

Faust: I wonder. He's not the type to review things frequently, but he has a good memory.

Faust: Well, if he can't do it, Heath will probably help him.

Akira: ……Huh? Now that I look closely, there's another purple flower. Who did you prepare this for?

Faust, Figaro: ………

Faust: .....It's for me.

Figaro: The student is our Faust, and the special lecturer is me, Doctor Figaro.

Akira: What! Figaro and Faust are teaching together?

Faust: You don't need to be so surprised.

Figaro: Teachers need to work hard together too. Or we might get overtaken by the younger kids in no time.

Blinking rapidly, I looked at the two people before me.

Akira: (...I cant believe a day like this would come. I never imagined it when I came to the magic manor.)

Days living under the same roof. Days working on the same missions.

All those experiences must have changed something in them, little by little. Now I can feel that with my very eyes, and my cheeks relax.

Faust: What is it, sage? It seems like you have something to say.

Akira: No, it's nothing! …Wait, I completely forgot that I had something to ask of you Faust.

Faust: Me?

Akira: Yes. Actually, I'd like to write about you all again in the Sage's manual.

Figaro: The sage's re-interviewing each of us. I had a talk with them the other day.

Akira: So, would you mind giving me some of your time soon, Faust?

Faust: If that's the case, I'm free after this. If you'd like, we can talk in my room.

Don't go easy, but let your heart be at ease - Episode 2

We immediately headed to Faust's room, and found Lennox standing at the door.

Lennox: Lord Faust, sage. Hello.

Faust: What's the matter, Lennox? Do you need something?

Lennox: Lord Faust, I wanted to give this to you.

Faust: A candle...

Faust: I was just about to buy another candle for my amulet, since I was running low on it.

Akira: Really? What a coincidence.

Faust: Lennox, why did you give this to me?

Lennox: I thought it was about time you would need one.

Lennox: I accompanied you when you went to buy the same thing before, didn't I? It's been some time since then so…

Lennox: Besides, you've been busy lately, Lord Faust, so I thought you might not have time to go and buy it yourself...

Akira: Is that so...? As expected of Lennox, you really pay attention to the people around you.

Lennox: No, it's not that serious.

Faust: ……..

Faust stared at Lennox for a while with his violet eyes.

Then he takes a faint breath, lowers his eyebrows and smiles.

Faust: Really… I just can't hide anything from you.

The voice he speaks is endlessly soft, and gives the impression of a definite passage of time.

His gaze, shifted to the candle, is still gentle. Surely memories of the past are shining deep in those violet eyes.

Faust: There's no need for you to go that far.

Lennox: I'm sorry for doing something unnecessary.

Faust: I don't mean it like that…..

Faust: Hmm? Haven't we had this conversation before?

Lennox: I think we did...?

Faust: ...Haha. Anyway, you helped me out. Thank you, Leno.

Lennox: No. If I was of help to you, nothing makes me happier.

Their mutual consideration, their trust and respect for each other were all indicative of their attitude. It naturally warmed my heart.

Akira: (Faust and Lennox have helped each other out so many times like this.)

Akira: (I'm sure it will continue to be the same from now on…)

Don't go easy, but let your heart be at ease - Episode 3

When I entered the room, Faust put the paper bag he was carrying on the desk and waved his finger.

A chair floated through the air and was presented in front of me.

Faust: Sit down. I'll make some tea now.

Akira: Thank you! Hm? Is this the same tea from our last interview?

Faust: Yes, it is. You have a good memory. Now then…

Faust handed me the cup and sat down opposite me.

Faust: You can start right away. Where should I start?

His fingers were clasped together just like that time.

It showed his seriousness, and I thought it was a beautiful, elegant sight.

Akira: May I ask you about all sorts of things that have happened since we met?

Akira: If there is anything hard to say you don't have to—-

Faust: ……..

Faust's eyebrows twitch, and I involuntarily gasp.

Then I straighten my back and reword what I had said earlier.

Akira: ...I might be asking some questions that are hard to answer. I'd be happy if you could answer as much as you can.

Faust: Heh.

Faust: You've gotten a lot tougher. That's right, there's no need to go easy on me.

Akira: (Hahaha. ...Even though his words are harsh, it feels like he's praising me by saying "well done.")

I don't know how nervous I had been, but I noticed that my shoulders had suddenly relaxed.

After that, I asked him the questions I'd prepared, one by one.

Faust answered sincerely and carefully, carefully choosing his words. The pages were filled with information about him.

Akira: Thank you for answering so many questions, Faust. This is my last question...

Akira: ...This may be difficult for you to answer. But, please let me know.

Faust: ………What is it?

Akira: Faust…….

Akira: You like cats, don't you?

Faust: Huh?

Akira: During the first interview, you stubbornly denied it, but this time I'd really like to ask you about it!

Faust: ……Pff, Hahaha.

Faust: You really are, above my imagination.

Akira: R-Really...?

Faust: Well, never mind. To answer your previous question… Well, I don't hate cats.

Akira: You wouldn't say you like them, would you?

Faust: I'm a curse worker, after all. That kind of thing doesn't look good on me.

Faust shook his head with a smile on his face, and I remembered when we first met.

Akira: (Come to think of it, last time he said "There's nothing in particular" that he likes...)

If only one day he could tell me something that he would say he likes without hesitation.

what a joyous thing that would be.

But that's why I want us to get to know each other little by little, without rushing.

Feeling that he has a much softer air about him than when we first met... I gently put my pen down.

I can only say because it’s now - Card Episode

Akira: Faust, thank you for taking the time for the interview!

Akira: Also, this is something I've been asking everyone...

Akira: Is there anything you can talk about because it is now?

Faust: Because it is now...? That's a difficult question.

Faust: ……

Akira: (He's really thinking about it seriously. Ah, he looked at me...)

Faust: I wear that hat sometimes.

Akira: ......That hat?

Akira: Wait, what? You mean that wool one?

Faust: Yes. The one you bought me as a souvenir when you went to the central city.

Faust: ......you gave it to me yourself why are you so surprised.

Akira: Haha, sorry. I've never seen you wearing it before, so I was surprised.

Akira: I'm so happy that you actually use it. Thank you for letting me know!

Faust: Don't mention it. I would feel uncomfortable if I didn't say anything about it.

Akira: (You're so serious, Faust...) (But I really love that about you)

Homescreen Voiceline

Hearts change with time. Even if we exchange a promise, can our hearts stay the same forever? I won't believe it. What about you, sage?

#mhyktl #mahoutsukai no yakusoku #mahoyaku #mhyk #card episode and homescreen line is also included #figaro garcia #lennox ram

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