#I saw my hs class is having a ten year reunion holy shit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dlandofdreams · 4 months ago

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I feel silly about how online time is so purposefully isolating for me. If I wanna talk to people I try to do it face to face or hearing someone’s voice but if I’m online, I immediately block off connecting with ppl and keep it as personal and self-contained as possible. I just can’t be there if I’m not present, if that makes sense. And that sucks cuz I’m always withdrawing further from ppl because of that.

#disney chronicles #diz chronicles #I just don’t feel like I’m present for anything or anyone and suck #I saw my hs class is having a ten year reunion holy shit #I’m def not going cuz I wasn’t invited lol #I just never get close to ppl cuz I kinda stink as a human being #so many really good ppl move on in my life cuz im having a mental breakdown every two weeks #and it’s just exhausting to keep trying to get in contact with me I think #especially when I’m shit at getting back #it takes me AGES to craft my thoughts into messages and I’m so stupid and scatterbrained #I don’t blame anyone cuz I’m difficult #It just would be nice to be thought of and feel like I’m part of anything?#but everything’s all my own fault and doing cuz I don’t have the energy to make an effort #ill get through day by day… I have to. that’s where my energy is going #I just have to be okay with not having lasting relationships unless I feel emotionally sane enough to DO something #anyways here’s to hoping things are better when this pops out #EDIT: it’s been a few weeks and no lol same old same old

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