#I said if one person (1!!) asks me for more i shall provide

[jjoongstar]

𝑯𝒊𝒔 𝑭𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆

𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒆𝒏'𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒗

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

this can also be read as a stand alone! (prefer read the other parts too to feel more of the grief)

pairing: king!hongjoong x queen!reader (royalty au)

wc: 2.9k

genre: fluff, angst (like super angst)

a/n: i kinda went overboard with the wc, but please take note that this is the QUEEN'S POV. i don't want you guys to misunderstood the story, ok then, enjoy! sorry in advanced if there are any errors in it. reblogs and comments are very much appreciated <3

"do you want to be queen, y/n?"

"what?! you want me to marry your father?"

"NO!! Its not that,"

"then what is it, crown prince kim hongjoong?"

"I'm asking you to marry me and be my queen,"

"your proposal sounds like you're asking me out to play in the garden," you raised your eyebrow at him amusingly.

you both looked at each other and laughed whole heartedly under the shade provided by an oak tree on top of a hill.

the two of you have known each other since you were kids. as the daughter of the king's personal assistant, you two spent most of your lives running around playing with each other in the palace. you were always each other's company.

"CROWN PRINCE HONGJOONG!!!" the yelling of the maids and royal guards. looking for the young teenager.

behind the gate walls, you stood there with hongjoong, hand in hand, and your backs closely against the wall. he looks at you and shushed you to be quiet as he started running towards a direction pulling you with him by your entangled hands, forcing you to run with him.

passing through the village, over a small river, and a few trees not enough to be called a forest but enough to hid what was behind it. hongjoong closed your eyes with both of his hands, and carefully guided you. you gasp in amazement when he showed you the view. a wide meadow filled with tall bright golden petaled flowers. sunflowers.

"i know how much you really love sunflowers, so i planted them here myself, hidden and far away from everyone's sight," he said proudly to you. the only person who knew this meadow is just the two of you. you were left speechless, not knowing how to respond to him. it truly warms your heart to one of his love languages. his efforts showed his love for you.

"this shall be our secret place, my love," he pulls you into his embrace and you held him back tightly. feeling each other's heartbeat. he felt so pleasant and comfy.

"my future queen." he added and kisses the crown of your head.

after being officially engaged, hongjoong would always accompany you to all of your dress fittings. he loves the way every piece of clothing fits perfectly on you, and how it made you shine brighter.

"oh my god! you look so majestic in that color!!" he complimented you with doe eyes, adoring your figure.

you did a little twirl showing it off more to him and he squealed at how lovely you looked. it made his heart beats so fast and his face flushed red, he hid his face in his hands, too shy to show you his honest reaction. you can't help but laughed at him and took his hand away and lands a soft kiss on his cheeks. he felt so flustered with your bold reaction and not wanting to lose, he kisses your lips softly. he dragged you onto his lap and you both enjoyed kissing lovingly at each other and giggling in between.

it was the most grand and eventful wedding to ever be held. he was way more excited and thrilled than you were. he wanted the best for you, and he did. inviting guests from all affiliates, everyone in the country, every living being, he wanted the whole world to know that you're officially his. he had royal professional dressmakers custom you the most beautiful piece of wedding attire. gifting you rare and luxurious jewelleries. ordering royal cooks to prepare thousands of your favourite delicacies. he wanted everyone to know that its your signature dish. banners and posters of you two hung all over the country to celebrate.

he hired the most talented musicians to specifically play your favourite tune. fresh flowers decorated the entire palace walls. he ordered well know artistic painters to create the most magnificent portraits of you and so he hung them in his office. he loved you so dearly with all of his heart. though his words were not enough, he expressed them by showing you. tears of heartfelt stream down his face during the ceremony. you are his friend, his lover, his wife, his queen.

the people knowing their rulers were deeply in love with each other, they had hope for a very bright future for their country.

he had the maids prepared his quarters as to fit the two of you. he opposed the tradition of you having your own quarters. he wanted to be close to you at all times. sleeping next to you. waking up with you in his arms. spending night and day with you. share all those intimate times together. you had always have each other.

hongjoong appointed personal maids and servants to always accompany you and take care of your needs when he's not there beside you.

after years of reign, hongjoong was suggested by his royal advisor to have a concubine. it has always been a tradition passed down by generations. but he banished all of his father's concubine after the former king died and closed down the harem. knowing that only you holds his heart, he shall not need other women. but a dark hidden part of him wanted to agree with the advisor.

it took him months trying to figure out the words to you, but no words were needed. his actions spoke louder. he grew distant. he was less affectionate. and his mind wonders around whenever you talk to him. he didn't noticed he had neglected you until you finally spoke up when you knew about his plans during dinner.

"you want to bring back the harem?"

he choked on his food and you couldn't help but laugh at his reaction first then helped him before he suffocates himself to death.

"i understand with our current situation, i shall give you my permission, under one condition," you added.

the man didn't have time to explain it to you. but you were so understandable with the 'current situation'. he wanted, needed a successor. a child. a continuation of his bloodline. he looks at you attentively. his heart felt sorrow that you agreed to this idea.

"let me have my own quarters-"

"i object your request, my queen," he cuts you off. he denied your suggestion to be places further away from him.

"then do you want me to sit and watch in your room while you and your concubines bang and do your things??" a hint of amusement in your tone and a smirk on your face.

realisation hits the man in front of you and he averts his gaze away from you. he had never felt so embarrassed and stupid.

"its called giving privacy, you foolish king," flicking you fingers softly on hongjoong's forehead. he replied nothing but an amusing laugh at your humor. you called out for your head maid.

"prepare the empty quarters, move out all of my belongings from his majesty's quarters to there. it shall be mine from now on." the head maid was beyond shock when you gave her the orders. she kept on asking the reasons and you told her everything. she was one of the closest people you have in this palace.

even after the opening of the harem, and king's night was full of lust with his new concubines. every after intimate night he would head over your quarters, knocking softly on your door, begging you to let him in.

it surprised you at first but day by day it became a normal routine.

"it just doesn't feel the same without you. it felt so wrong," hearing out hongjoong's rants while having him laying down on your chest, his face snuggled in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent. you ran down your fingers softly tracing indescribable patterns, comforting him.

but those nights and regime slowly vanish after he spent most of his nights with the same concubine.

during your usual stroll, you stumbled upon a young woman crouching at the bank of the small stream in the palace grounds. you approached her slowly not wanting to startled her but your shadow caught her attention. she stood up and bowed at you respectfully. glancing at her outfit, she must be the one.

"you must be his favourite," you stated and she looked up at you with a confused look.

'she does look adorable, i understand him now.' you thought to yourself.

"its nice meeting you my dear. be careful not to hurt yourself, okay." you smiled, patting her head and left her alone while you continue on your evening stroll.

you stumbled upon the same concubine again from a far on a lovely evening. she noticed your figure and came running down at you with something in her grasp. stopping in front of you, she squealed in excitement and bowed as usual.

"what's gotten you so excited?" you chuckled merrily at her behavior.

"i plucked these out for you, it reminded me of your beauty." she handed out a small bouquet of mix flowers to you and you took them wholeheartedly while your head maid looks at them in disbelieve.

"its so nice of you plucking out flowers in my own garden and gifting them back to me like this."

the woman in front of you gasped in shock. repeatedly muttering apologies. she wasn't informed of your garden. you were furious but it all faded away because they're flowers. and its because it reminded her of yourself.

flowers reminded you of someone too. someone who used to gift you endless fresh flowers everyday. it made you smile to yourself like a fool. you accepted her pleas and pats her head as usual and made your way.

"put these in a vase and place them in his majesty's office." you handed out the flowers to your head maid walking beside you.

your time spent with hongjoong was getting less day by day. some days you didn't even see him in your sight. you've miss him. his laugh. his smile. his voice. his touch. his kiss. his mere presence.

"hongjoong, would you-"

"not now, I'm busy, tell me later." he cuts you off when you stumbled each other at the hallway.

"what?" you mutter in disbelieve.

"I'm sorry, y/n, love, we'll talk tonight." and he left. leaving you with no further explanation.

you felt your knees weaken and you dropped down on the cold floor. all these time, he had never dismissed you. no matter how important the work was, he always puts you first. even during meetings with the ministers, he dismissed them all just to give you all his utmost attention.

tears streaming down your face unknowingly. your hands clawing at your aching heart.

you asked hongjoong for his opinion on your appearance, for you had dolled up a bit for him today. trying to win his heart back.

"you looked gorgeous as always, my queen," he replied as he held your face in the palm of his hands.

"i love you, hongjoong." you spoke and leans in onto his touch. eyes straight into his. a soft smile on his gorgeous face, but his eyes betrayed the words he admitted. there was no spark as it used to. your heart starting to swell in pain.

"i love you too, sweetheart," he replied with still flutters at the nickname he called you. sweetheart.

somehow it suddenly felt wrong. it felt one sided.

the day you needed someone. someone to hear out you rants. someone to hold you close. consoling you with sweet words. someone who understands you. a person? a friend?

your lover, you yearn for him.

making your way to his office asking his assistant for his presence but was denied as it was said he was busy. again. he's busy. turning around in defeat, but you did not take any steps away from the door. your ears perked upwards at the loud laughter emitted from behind the door. loud giggles of a woman. a very familiar woman.

you looked over at the servant and he bowed to you, understanding your feelings, he apologise in the king's behalf.

you gave him a bitter smile and made your way to your awaiting quarters. every step you take, the more you weep in silent.

every morning the king greeted you at breakfast but it doesn't sound sincere anymore.

every afternoon the king spent his time in his office. laughing away with another woman.

every evening the king enjoys his time strolling around the palace hand in hand with that other woman.

and every night the king made love with his woman. his dearest concubine.

your usual evening routine was disturbed and it felt like your world stopped moving when you laid your eyes on the king and his concubine walking side by side towards your direction.

you gasped in shock when you saw the flower in the concubine's hands. a bright golden petaled flower. a sunflower.

"y-you took her to our meadow?" you voice laced with hurt.

you clutched your heart filled with sorrow and ran away as fast as you could without looking back. not bothering the call of your name by the king and your maid. not minding either the tears gushing out of your eyes as you kept on running aimlessly. somewhere in the forest, you sat down leaning back against a random tree and wailed your heart out.

hongjoong looked for you everywhere. your quarters. the meadow. the oak tree. the palace grounds. the whole village. before the search order was executed, you made your presence in front of the gate.

all eyes were on you, especially his. your maid slowly approach before you stopped her and everyone else's movements and words with a simple raise of your hand.

"don't."

a simple word you uttered, but your tone holds more power to it. with an numb expression. your eyes bore into the king's eyes in nothing but emptiness. he felt hurt for once. but it wasn't even the slightest near as much as how you felt. he gave you space and dismissed everyone, including your loyal head maid. even the maid was more loyal than your own lover.

you waited for hours in your room, on your bed. waiting for hongjoong. you still had some faith in him and hoped that he would come knocking on your door. a part of you still wants him. then there it was, a knock.

"hongjoong!?" you sat up abruptly, eyes gleaming at the door in hope, but it died down in an instant when you saw the person.

"sorry I'm not the person you hoped for, your majesty," your maid.

"the sun has already risen." she added. you looked over the window. she's right. how could you not notice the light? maybe its because the light in you died.

you never expected to find the other woman in the throne room. your throne room.

"what's a whore lurking around in my throne room," you looked at her with arms crossed over your chest.

"sorry to disappoint you, but your king isn't here," you added with a sneer and you kept on insulting and hurting her feelings with nothing but the truth of her service to the king. it was until you were interrupted by the king's voice himself.

"Y/N!! i have never heard you speak with such obnoxious words. mind your language," you responded him with a simple scoff. rolling your eyes at him.

"you are to never speak ill of her ever again," he added while wrapping his arms around the woman's waist as she clings herself onto your man.

"you're joking..." you utter in disbelieve.

"my queen-"

"no, to make things clear. i am the queen of this country, the ruler of my people, and most of all, i am no longer the queen of your heart."

"don't say that, my love. you know how much i love you," his nickname of you still made your heart skip a beat. but his body was still attached to the other woman.

"your actions speaks louder than your words, your majesty."

his felt pain in his heart. for once you addressed him by his tittle. you had never done that. you said it would made you feel so distant from him. you both dropped all formalities between you two. never was a day was those nonsense tittles was used in your conversations, until today.

and the days after.

to my beloved,

the man who stood tall and proud,

the man who ruled my heart.

never have i regretted spending most of my life with you,

growing up with you,

enjoying my childhood with you,

going through my teenage years with you,

living my life with you by my side.

the oak tree that witnessed our bond,

the same tree you confessed your love to me,

the same tree that heard my pleas of missing you,

the same tree that witnessed your betrayal.

for the sunflower meadows we grew up with,

running chasing each other till our hearts content,

for we always awaited every year for them to bloom,

and every season they enjoyed our laughter,

until you had her,

leaving me to wither away.

your mere presence next to me,

you're so close yet so far,

my heart still yearns for you,

but does your heart yearns for me too?

your kisses felt nothing,

your embrace felt numb,

you've lost your spark,

what have i done?

what have you done to me.

you may have deceived my heart,

and i pray for you to not taint hers,

as you did with mine.

my king,

my husband,

my lover,

my friend,

whoever you are,

whoever you'll be,

I will endlessly love you till my last breath.

from yours beloved,

once ruler of your heart.

dividers

taglist: @seonghw4ffles @hwasong @julianatadesmaiada24 @engentiny @cloudy-lilly

[oraclekleo]

[Pick-a-Pile] What major changes are coming your way + What do those changes possibly bring into your life

Hello and welcome to one more Pick-A-Pile tarot reading from your Kleo!

This time we shall see what kind of changes are awaiting you in the near future and what kind of an effect they could possibly have on you.

This is a general reading, which means that not all information has to resonate with you, some details are meant for somebody else.

Below, you will pick from three piles. If you are struggling with intuitively picking one, maybe this reading isn’t for you at all at this moment. Maybe major changes aren’t about to happen for you just yet. You can come back later to see whether you actually feel drawn to one of the piles, if that’s your case.

Please, be assured that tarot isn't an exact science. I can never ever guarantee anything that's said in my readings, their purpose is of a solely entertainment nature.

Please, do not base your life decisions on tarot readings, always use your common sense.

Even if your reading says something, it doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen. Once you received the reading, you were warned, you have your life in your hands and you can actively stir away from the events you deem unwanted. Tarot isn’t a dogma. You always have free will.

Also… This reading might be a bit triggering as changes aren’t always pleasant. You are not babies, if you feel uncomfortable reading the text below, just stop reading. Please, don’t come to me with petty complaints about how I should properly list trigger warnings. I’m not your mom and you’re not 5. 😂

With this out of the way, let’s dive into this, shall we?

What major changes are coming your way? + What do those changes possibly bring into your life?

Pile 1 -> Pile 2 -> Pile 3

Pick your pile, please!

↓

↓

↓

↓

↓

↓

↓

↓

↓

↓

↓

Pile 1 - What major changes are coming your way

Cards: Fehu (Runes Oracle), 37. Descendant - Invitation (Starcodes Astro Oracle), 7 of Pentacles, 7 of Wands, 2 of Pentacles, Page of Pentacles, Knight of Swords, 8 of Cups (The Light Seer’s Tarot)

Dear Pile 1, you are likely to face fast changes affecting all the facets of your life. You might need to let go of something, be it a belief, a person or a thing. It can’t stay a part of your life, it needs to free the space for a new energy approaching. Maybe you have been overly guarded, keeping others at distance, maybe you saw them as extension of yourself and instead of learning important skills from them, you used them to do the job for you. Now when they leave, there go your resources. It’s time to let the shield down a bit and instead of relying on others providing you with something, tend the seeds of skills and abilities within yourself. Don’t ask people to do something for you only because they have the skill. Learn the skills from them, harbour your curiosity and start building something solid that will serve you well in future.

The change coming your way, Pile 1, is an eye-opening one. You are likely to realise some of your limiting beliefs about yourself and your life. The clarity of mind comes fast, might be shocking and even a little painful but it’s gonna serve the purpose. You need this experience, you need this sense of shock running down your spine in order to move forward, to invite more powerful energy into your life. You can’t be dependent on others forever. You can’t rely on them always being there for you. You need to stand on your own feet, build your own confidence and self-esteem, you need to organise your life and make those first steps towards a brighter future. You need to walk your authentic path even if you are going to be the only one walking it.

Pile 1 - What do those changes possibly bring into your life

Cards: Gebo (Runes Oracle), 50. 12th House - Introspection (Starcodes Astro Oracle), 9 of Cups, XXI The World, Ace of Swords, XIX The Sun, King of Cups, King of Pentacles (The Light Seer’s Tarot)

The changes happening will bring more clarity into your life. You finally can see the truth about yourself, others, the world around you. You are no longer affected by other people’s perspectives, you are in a sense freedom. Gaining freedom and liberty through this kind of awakening is likely to bring more happiness, fulfilment and stability into your life. Once you realise that all those sometimes painful changes are actually blessings in disguise, your wishes are coming true for you, you are gaining that emotional balance and stability you always craved, you can feel both grounded and able to spread your wings and fly the direction you always wished to go. As much of a paradox, suddenly you are able to step outside of your comfort zones while remaining comfortable about it. You are experiencing happiness and a feeling of wholeness on your own. You don’t need anybody to complete you, you are the one and whole piece of amazing creature. And this allows you to actually attract the good people into your life. You are able to give freely without expecting anything in return which actually brings more abundance to your life. Suddenly you are giving so much but receiving even more. You feel genuine and mutually enriching connections with people in your life. And you are able to look within your soul without shame and identify whatever is still there that needs to be healed or worked on. It’s no longer a dreadful journey through a haunted house of your soul, it’s a walk through a garden that still needs to be nurtured and maintained but is blossoming.

↓

↓

↓

↓

Pile 2 - What major changes are coming your way

Cards: Hagalaz (Runes Oracle), Success (Prism Oracle), 6 of Cups, 6 of Pentacles, 3 of Swords, Ace of Cups, 8 of Swords, 8 of Wands (Tarot of the Divine)

Dear Pile 2, the changes approaching you are likely to have quite a destructive nature. Good news is that what they destroy is something that was tormenting you and keeping you stuck. Something that used to cause you pain, harm you in some way, binding you and making you feel imprisoned, is about to be swiftly destroyed and banished from your life. You are likely to drop something truly toxic. Remember that the path towards freedom from this misery leads through compassion and emotional healing. Maybe you are not the only one suffering from this issue. Find your tribe, seek help from those who have experience and education. If you are suffering mentally or emotionally, consider therapy. If your burden is of physical nature, stop postponing the doctor appointment and gather the courage to face the true nature of your issues.

Always remember that you’re not alone! There are people who love you and will happily assist you on your path towards healing and moving away from the toxic past. Trust your close ones, people who were there for you through difficult times. You are not meant to do all the work on your own. Universe will send you guides and advisors to help you with the transition. Don’t push them away and welcome them with open arms and heart. You have the capacity to love. You will be rewarded with success and new self-esteem.

Pile 2 - What do those changes possibly bring into your life

Cards: Raido (Runes Oracle), Determination (Prism Oracle), XI Justice, Ace of Swords, Ace of Wands, 10 of Pentacles, 10 of Wands, 4 of Wands (Tarot of the Divine)

Once you undergo the necessary changes, you are likely to achieve more balance and sense of pride. Being proud of your own accomplishments isn’t a sin, especially when you have worked hard to reach that top of the mountain. Sometimes it might feel like you are never going to stand on the top of the hill but don’t lose hope. Life is never easy but that’s what makes it worth living. You learned through the changes, that you don’t have to do everything alone, that you can actually ask for help when you need it and avoid burnout. Your soul family will give you gentle push when you are tired climbing up, they will inspire you when encountering obstacles, they will brainstorm with you and help you reach mental clarity so you can just cut through some of the complex problems with one swift solution. Your journey doesn’t end once you undergo the changes, it starts there. It might be a real physical journey if you want to move or travel, or it can be a metaphorical journey of your spirit. Be authentic and carry only truth in your heart. Deception will only lead you astray. It’s better to be honest and sometimes make others uncomfortable than to tell white lies and potentially harvest bad karma. Your goals are within your reach but you will never get there cheating. You will only be able to celebrate your success if you remain true to your values and ideals.

↓

↓

↓

↓

Pile 3 - What major changes are coming your way

Cards: Sowelo (Runes Oracle), 7. Message (Fin de Siècle Kipper), IX The Hermit, 0 The Fool, Knight of Cups, III The Empress, XVI The Tower, 2 of Cups (The Tarot of Vampyres)

Congratulations, dear Pile 3, you have chosen the scariest Tower card pile only to land on a reading that’s actually the most lovely one, quite literally! The period of hermiting is at its end, dear Pile 3 and I’m sorry to inform you that you are about to be rescued from your metaphorical tower, the walls you have build around your heart and soul are about to be torn down and you will have to accept a new faith, embark on a new exciting path full of meaningful connections. Those are not necessarily only romantic ones but there are both the Knight of Cups and 2 of Cups so the romance is strongly suggested for some of you. This might be both scary and exciting at first, maybe you are not used to being admired or in a way courted (yes, I know people don’t court each other anymore but I think it would be nice if we brought that back, at least to a certain degree). The changes happening are likely to start within yourself. You are likely to feel more yourself, more beautiful in your own eyes and this aura of inner beauty will radiate from every cell of your body and attract suitors like candle flame attracts moths. Make sure to treat them with respect and don’t burn them even when you’re not interested!

Pile 3, your transformation from a lone wolf into a loving, nurturing and welcoming person might come as a shock to many but don’t be afraid. It’s likely to be a pleasant surprise. You are likely to receive good news, maybe start a communication with someone you really vibe with, maybe you are already in contact with them and the change will lead towards deepening your relationship or its transformation from platonic into romantic relationship. You don’t need your knight to rescue you, you can do it on your own but shall you wish for it, you can find your knight once you are out of your metaphorical tower. Seize the day and when you are presented with an opportunity, take it! Be brave! Believe in yourself! You are blossoming into a beautiful creature through and through. Embrace the change, accept it with your whole heart. Be ready to be loved for the amazing person you are.

Pile 3 - What do those changes possibly bring into your life

Cards: Jera (Runes Oracle), 15. Lovers (Fin de Siècle Kipper), 10 of Cups, 4 of Swords, 10 of Swords, VI The Lovers, IV The Emperor, 6 of Swords (The Tarot of Vampyres)

The indication of a romantic relationship is even stronger now as you actually have two Lovers cards. You lucky Pile 3! Now when all your blossoming and escaping from the cold and lonely murals of your metaphorical tower happened, you shall enjoy the fruits of your efforts. It’s time for you to stop trying hard, go with the flow, enjoy the ride that is this lovely connection, be it harmonious union of friends or a match made in heaven. The pain of the past can be finally fully healed and forgotten. You are in charge of your life now. You are moving away from hurting and paining over the past and gaining power over your life. The wheel is turning and it’s showing you its bright and fortunate side. You can fully enjoy the bliss of emotional balance and happiness. Love is not happening for you, you are actively and consciously choosing it for yourself. Stepping out of the shadows, shining brightly, shading the old skin that has become uncomfortable for you. You are in love! With yourself, with your community, with the world around you!

↓

↓

↓

↓

And this is the end! I hope you enjoyed the reading and I will be so grateful for any kind of a feedback! Especially for comments and messages in my inbox or DMs! I always love to hear from you, guys!

As usual for me, I have included the cards I pulled. Which card grasped your attention? You know it's also significant! Which card made you feel uneasy perhaps? Share your impressions!

Find more of my general readings here: Pick-A-Pile (PAC) Masterlist

Don't forget that my paid readings are open and you can always ask follow up questions to this reading! Paid Readings Special Offer

See you next time with one of my tiny games!

[the-modern-typewriter]

Hi, I really love your writing. It’s actually incredible how you can write people of the same pronoun and still make it easy to discern the two characters. I was wondering if you have any tips on how to do that without using phrases like “the short one” or anything like that.

1. Use the character's names

I often use 'the protagonist ', 'the antagonist', 'the hero', 'the villain' on tumblr. However, functionally, I use these like names and/or titles.

Using a character name allows you to periodically clarify who is talking or doing something when the reader would otherwise get confused. I know some people take this a step further by actually using 'Hero' 'Villain' as names more literally/directly, but I don't personally like doing that. It jars my brain.

I think 'the hero' etc works as an indicator where 'the short one' doesn't because it's neutral/not providing new info. Traditionally, we often only use physical descriptors when we don't know who a character is, so it creates distance/can jar when used in the middle of a scene. If you are in first person or limited third, there's just not necessarily a reason why your narrator would think of the other character in that way, which is another reason it can feel odd.

Basically, it's a bit like how we don't notice 'said', but would really notice if someone was uttering/shouting/mumbling in every dialogue tag.

2. Use proper paragraphing.

New character doing something, new line. New person talking, new line. New idea/point, new line. Shift in time or setting, new line.

3. Don't be afraid of easy beats

What are easy beats, you say? They are the moments of action or thinking in between dialogue. Body language. Whatever. Even if you don't use 'he/they/she said', because that can get repetitive. They are a way of providing context and variety to your writing, that can often do double work making it clear who is doing or saying something.

Example:

''So this is dialogue," they said.

"Right."

"And you didn't need to say you were talking next, because it was obviously someone else because it was on the next line. And now it's obviously me again. Hi!"

"All well and good until we've been chatting like this forever."

"Well." They stretched out, lazily. "That's what the easy beat that just happened was for. Did you catch me stretching in the middle?"

"But now I'd need a name or some kind of indicator," Character B replied. "Or it feels odd. Too many theys"

"It's all about balance, my friend. The instinct comes with practice."

Character B wrinkled their nose. "But what if I want to talk for a really long time?"

"Well," they said. "Then you can often start with a pronoun use or a character name to establish. Then you make your next point. Try and keep it relatively easy to follow. After that, try to have some kind of easy beat or action happen so the whole thing isn't talking heads." Character A rose towering to their feet, waggling their fingers in another hello. "And, if we're lucky, we never need to say 'the short one said' again, because we can flow our descriptions more naturally into the action.' Now." They sauntered closer, stopping in front of Character A with the worst smirk that B had ever seen. "Shall we ask the audience which of us is taller?"

[not-so-superheroine]

Happy Restoration Day! Here is my Book of Mormon Testimony

Blessings everyone, I am @not-so-superheroine, and this is my testimony of the Book of Mormon.

I am a convert to the restoration. So the Book of Mormon was new to me. I had heard about it. I had held one before that I saw in the drawer of a Marriot hotel room, I didn’t open it until I took an interest in the Restoration. 

At that time, I was sort of agnostic. I grew up in a mainline protestant denomination but had grown disillusioned. I was introduced to Mormonism through people who were deconstructing from the belief. Naturally, the first things I saw about it were debunking it’s location and historicity. But my mind was being opened to possibilities I hadn’t considered before. When I was younger, it didn’t make sense to me that there would be no more scripture from God. That the author of Revelations could say “that’s it.” for scripture, as I heard some argue. I wondered why God interacted so directly with those in ancient times and why such things wouldn’t occur with us now.  

Eventually, I was curious enough to acquire a Book of Mormon. I was admittedly cautious. I knew what the book said about a “skin of Blackness” and how that had lead to mistreatment of Black and Indigenous persons in different parts of the Latter Day Saint Movement. I was also fairly certain it was a 19th century text. I knew neither of these things discounted the Book as scripture. 

So I went into the scripture without the burden of historicity or author authenticity.  Not to see if the book was “true”, but to seek after the truths within. I approached the text and I looked for the presence of God. I prayed and asked God to guide me in my reading of the scriptures. Millions before me found these precious truths and Divine Inspiration in this book and I thought perhaps, if i went in openly, I could find it myself. 

And did I. And I am glad that I did. 

The Book of Mormon provides further light on issues the Christian community was facing at the time. It seeks to heal and to unify. A theme throughout the scripture and the bringing forth of the Book of Mormon speaks of Continuing Revelation. The heavens were open then and are open now. From what I learned, there is no reason why God wouldn’t provide us further light or would limit who God delivers Divine knowledge too. In fact, I learned that God does just that. It’s just up to us to ask, listen, and discern. 

The Book has also strengthened my relationship with my Creator. When I was a child, I thought deeply about, and questioned, the theology and doctrine I was taught in Sunday School. Sometimes this questioning was not always welcomed. I learned that for some, Ignorance is preferable to doubt. That doesn’t work for me. The Book of Mormon encourages me to be a diligent seeker. My time spent studying the Book of Mormon has been filled with questions. Questions without shame that I encourage to seek after God’s truth. 

Much like Nephi, I Was desirous also that I might see, and hear, and know of these things, by the power of the Holy Ghost, which is the gift of God to all those who diligently seek him, as well in times of old as in the time that he should manifest himself to the children of men; for he is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

(more from 1 Nephi 3) 29 For he that diligently seeks shall find; 30and the mysteries of God shall be unfolded to him by the power of the Holy Ghost, as well in this time as in times of old; 31and as well in times of old as in times to come.

This scripture inspires me and shows me that God wants me to seek after God’s mysteries and the mysteries in the universe God created for us. That thought is absolutely liberating. We should not fear knowledge, God wants us to grow and understand. And my faith is stronger now with this understanding. Questioning and Seeking is needed for spiritual growth.

I find the Book of Mormon to be empowering in reminding me of my moral agency, encouraging me to grow my faith, and work with God to hone my Spiritual gifts to be used in service to the Divine and to my community. The Book of Mormon affirms the Living Christ, Christ’s love for all humankind, no matter where and who they are, and that people of all nations receive light from the Divine and are a part of God’s sacred story. And there is so much more. The Book of Mormon speaks to me about the effects of poverty and addressing wealth inequity. This matches with Christ’s mission to tend to the poor. The Book of Mormon goes into how we should live amongst each other and on building sacred community, on how to be Zion as a people. There are so many lessons packed in there that I believe God wants us to ponder on and to take action with. The Book of Mormon is responsible for changing the way I read and apply sacred scripture to my life. This has changed my life for the better and changed my life outlook. I see myself as an active part of God’s plan carrying out Christ’s mission. 

I thank God for the Restoration

I thank God for continuing revelation and the Book of Mormon

And I thank God for my community, the people of Zion

[the-broken-truth]

Your Highness - Jamil Viper [Female Yuu] [Heiress Yuu] [Smug Jamil?] [Part 1]

Summary: Jamil discovers that his girlfriend is actually a Crowned Heiress who plans on marrying him in the future. To prepare Jamil for his upcoming life as a future king, Yuu provides him with an entourage of servants and guards who cater to his every need. Oh, it's time for Jamil to shine.

Note: Yuu is from Twisted Wonderland but was transported to Night Raven College due to her Unique Magic: Kneel Before Me.

"Forgive me, My Diamond, but I think that I have misheard what you said. Could you please repeat what you just said?" Jamil asked as he looked at his girlfriend, Yuu [L/N], The Prefect of Ramshackle, sitting across from him in Scarabia's Lounge; the two of them were playing Mancala when Yuu opened her mouth and revealed a secret that she had been keeping from Jamil and all her friends since arriving at Night Raven College.

"I have a confession to make. I am actually a royal heiress and the crowned princess of a small but lavish nation - next in line for the throne, however, I do not desire to rule my kingdom alone. Jamil Viper, I love you and cannot imagine myself with anybody else. I want to get engaged to you, and we can marry after I graduate from Night Raven. You can come to my kingdom with the rest of the Viper family, and we can all live like royalty."" Yuu explained with a hopeful smile as she looked up from the Mancala Board - she and Jamil tied in score at the moment.

Jamil Viper was an intelligent person who had the ability to detect a liar with a simple glance into someone's eyes. As Kalim's Protector, it was important for him to have knowledge in these areas. He trusted Yuu completely and knew that she would never lie to him. After his Overblot and Attempted Coup of Scarabia, she refused to turn her back to him before giving him her heart when their friendship became more in her eyes, and he reciprocated. They had been called 'The Hottest Couple' since they started dating months ago. Jamil was smart and athletic, while Yuu was charismatic and persuasive. They were both dedicated to each other and their goals. Together, they were a force to be reckoned with, and they didn't even need to use their Unique Magics to succeed in life.

Jamil always knew that Yuu was more than what she presented herself to be...and now he knew why: She was a crowned heiress and concealed this fact to protect herself from the vultures that would want to sink their talons into her family's name & riches.

"My Diamond... You are an Heiress, next in line for your family's throne, and you want...me to rule beside you? Me - a lowly servant?" Jamil questioned his romantic partner, who scowled at him when she heard him call himself a 'lowly servant'.

"My Viper, you are not a 'lowly servant' and I shall not allow you to call yourself as such!" Yuu barked before exhaling to calm herself down, "I am sick of the suffering you and your family have gone through and I shall not allow it to go on; the Viper Family will be free and elevated to the Royal Status while we are testing the waters with our engagement...if you accept my proposal." Yuu smiled at Jamil.

Jamil was silent for a moment before smiling at her, "I would love to marry you, My Diamond; you have seen me as no other has and I would never leave you. I will marry you, Yuu [L/N]."

"Perfect!" With that, Yuu lifted her hand and snapped her fingers, causing 5 Servants to enter the room dressed in fine suits - one of them carrying a silver platter with 2 ring boxes on it.

"Your Highness [L/N], has he agreed to your proposal?" The servant holding the ring boxes asked with a smile on his face.

"Yes! Please, present the rings." Yuu asked.

The servant with the platter kneeled between Yuu and Jamil before bowing his head and holding out the ring boxes while another servant opened the box with gloved hands, revealing 2 Golden Rings with Rubies in the shape of the [L/N] Royal Crest.

"Jamil, these are our engagement rings, as well as your Badge of Authority; accepting this ring will state that you agree to marry me upon graduation and will become Future King of the [Kingdom Name] Kingdom, your power would be on par with my own, but just a tad bit weaker since I am a blood heiress. Will you accept, My Viper?" Yuu asked as she held her left hand out.

Jamil moved without thinking and took hold of Yuu's hand while the other hand removed the Female Engagement Ring out of the box and slid the ring onto Yuu's ring finger, "With this ring, I swear to love you and never betray you, My Diamond."

Yuu smiled at her ring before grabbing the Male Engagement Ring, grabbed Jamil's Left Hand, and placed the ring on Jamil's Ring Finger, "With this ring, I swear to love and never betray you, My Viper.".

Jamil and Yuu smiled at each other before Jamil placed his hands on Yuu's cheeks and kissed her in front of the servants and the full moon.

"SINCE WHEN WERE YOU ENGAGED?!" The voice of Jamil's Younger Sister, Najma Viper, yelled through the phone the moment her brother answered the phone the following morning after Yuu and himself exchanged rings. Najma called him the next morning while he was getting ready for school and making breakfast when his sister called him in hysterics.

"Good morning to you, too. How did you find out I was engaged? That happened just last night." Jamil asked.

"Baba got a call from someone calling themselves the 'Royal Advisor of the [L/N] Family from the [Kingdom Name] Kingdom. He said that he was going to speak to Mr. Asim about releasing our family from our servitude. I thought he was pulling our legs until I happened to be walking by Mr. Asim's Office and heard him on the phone with the same person, they were talking about the terms and conditions for our freedom. I listened in for a while before I heard the advisor say that he was going to arrive later on in the week with the agreed-upon price and the contract. Your Fiancee is getting us free?! Just what the hell is going on, Jamil?!" Najma questioned her older brother.

Jamil was silent for a while, thinking to himself, 'They have already contacted the Asim Family to free us? Just how long has My Diamond been planning this to move so quickly?'

"Listen, I have to get ready for classes; you and our parents are coming to visit me this weekend, I'll explain everything then and you can meet my future wife." Jamil answered.

"Fine. If anything happens, I'll call you. Just keep this in mind - if you do anything to anger my Future Sister-In-Law, I will have your head, Brother." Najma hissed.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Jamil smiled before hanging up his phone and walking out of his room to go make breakfast for the Scarabia Dorm before classes started.

Welll....

He wasn't expecting this.

Jamil entered Scarabia's Dining Hall (It was connected to the kitchen and needed to cross it to get into the kitchen) and looked wide-eyed to see the Students of Scarabia & Kalim dining on a buffet of breakfast foods; everyone was talking about Jamil's Engagement when Jamil noticed the Servant and Guard stand close to Kalim; did Yuu hire a personal servant and guard to tend to Kalim for him?

"Your Highness." A Servant walked over to Jamil and bowed to him before standing straight with his hand behind his back, "Breakfast was prepared by trained chefs, and, considering your job as Heir Kalim's Personal Taste Tester, we took it upon ourselves to call upon one of the [L/N] Family's Testers to ensure none of Heir Kalim's Food would be poisoned. Also, your chores are being tended to by the other servants. Your personal servant and guard are waiting for you to attend your classes."

Jamil blinked for a while when the realization started to sink in: His family was about to be free, he no longer had to cook, he no longer had to clean, he didn't 'have' to protect or tend to Kalim... He was going to be a Royal in a few years but out of everything he realized, the first thing he said was...

"I have servants?"

The students in the hall made way as Jamil walked through with a smile on his face as his servant walked to his right with Jamil's books in his hands, and the Royal Guard walked at Jamil's left while keeping an eye out for any kind of danger against His Highness Jamil; what's more ironic was that the Royal Guard was a Lion Beastman. If Leona saw him now...

"Oi, Serpent! What the hell is going on?!"

Speaking of the Lazy Devil.

Jamil turned on his heel and came face to face with Leona Kingscholar standing there with a scowl on his face; Jamil's smirk never left his face.

"Is there something I can help you with, Kingscholar?" Jamil asked.

"Yeah, tell me what the hell is going on with all this talk about you and the Herbivore being engaged and you're suddenly a royal about to be King? What kind of joke is this?" Leona demanded to know.

"It's not a joke, Mr. Kingscolar." The Servant spoke, "His Highness Jamil shall be next in line to be King of the [Kingdom Name] Kingdom once he and Princess Yuu wed at the end of their graduation."

"Princess?! That Herbivore is a Princess?!" Leona roared.

"She is not just any princess, she is The Crowned Princess. My Diamond has informed me that she is the eldest in the Royal Line of the [L/N] Family. She has two younger brothers who are second and third in line to the throne, but they have decided to become Dukes of their own lands. Yuu and I will be getting married, and I will ascend to the throne, becoming a King." Jamil explained with a smirk on his face.

"That Herbivore...is royalty?! AND A SERVANT LIKE YOU IS BECOMING KING?!" Leona roared at Jamil before attempting to march at him but the Lion Beastman got in between Jamil and Leona with his hand on Leona's chest.

"Keep your distance away from His Highness." The Lion Beastman Guard warned, glaring at Leona with golden eyes. Leona and the Royal Guard glared at each other while the Servant, Issac, leaned towards Jamil.

"Your Highness, we really should continue on our way or you shall be late for your classes." He said.

"Of course." Jamil said before snapping his fingers to get the Lion Beastman's Attention, "Leonardo, we need to get moving."

"At once, Your Highness." The Lion Guard - Leonardo - removed his hand from Leona's Chest and kept his eyes on him before walking down the hall to reach Jamil, leaving a very stunned and furious Leona behind.

"Hey! Sea Snake!" Floyd called out to Jamil during Basketball Practice as Jamil shot a ball into the basket and got nothing but net as he turned away from the net and turned to face Floyd as he and Ace walked over to him.

"What do you want, Leech?" Jamil asked as his servant walked over to him with a bottle of water and a fresh towel to wipe the sweat from his face; Jamil wiped his sweat before thanking the servant and taking the water bottle before the servant went back to the side of the court.

"Just what the hell is going on with You and Shrimpy? I heard you're getting married to Shrimpy?!" Floyd asked.

"I heard something like that too, Jamil-senpai; is it true?" Ace asked.

"Yes, Ace. Yuu and I are engaged to be married." Jamil said.

"And those guys?" Ace pointed at Leonardo and Issac standing on the edge of the court.

"My Servant and Guard - Leonardo and Issac." Jamil answered, drinking some water.

"Whoa... You really are going to be a King." Ace said upon laying his eyes on Jamil's Ring.

Jamil smirked along the rim of his bottle, "Indeed, I am."

"Welcome back, Your Highness." The Head Servant greeted with a power of her head to Jamil as he walked into Scarabia's Dorm. Jamil looked around Scarabia to see everyone was doing their own thing but Scarabia was spotless and the servants were standing by, waiting for Jamil's Next Order.

"What's the status of Scarabia?" Jamil asked as if everything had always been like this.

"The Chefs are cooking dinner as we speak, The Royal Tutor is aiding Heir Kalim with his studies, and Scarabia is clean; the Treasury Report is waiting for you in your room. Also, Princess Yuu wanted me to ask you to come to Ramshackle when you had a moment to yourself." The Head Servant said.

"Good. I am going to see My Diamond. If anything goes wrong, call me at once, please." Jamil said while turning back to the door as the servant bowed.

"Your Wish is our Will, Your Highness." The Head Servant said just as Jamil closed the door and looked at his ring for a moment.

'My Wish is their will?' Jamil smiled and kissed the surface of his ring when Yuu's smile came to his mind, "Thank you, My Diamond. You have given me so much...and I shall give you all that I can." Jamil proclaimed as he walked towards the Mirror to get to Ramshackle - His diamond came first.

[END]

[mi-rae07]

Song Mingi : What I Deserve (Part 1/3)

Pairing : Song Mingi (Ateez) and named character (Oh Mina)

______________________

A/n : This story ends on a meh note as well (as I had intended it to), but I’m not sure another part would be something people would read. But if some of you do end up wanting it (please tell me if you do), I shall surely make another part for it. We will see how this goes, though.

_________________________

Mina : min-ah, where are you going?

Mina's sleepy mumble made mingi turn around, her hand holding onto the cuff of his suit. It was only 7am, she wasn't supposed to be awake right now.

Mingi : work, mina.

Mina : this…this early?

Mingi : I've always gone this early.

Since the past few months, mina knew. But every time she woke up, she wished her husband wasn't so distant with her, she wished he would stop being this unknown person he turned into 2 years after their marriage.

Mina : don't you want breakfast?

Mingi : no, I'm leaving.

Mina couldn't say anything further as mingi left, leaving mina alone in their room. She sighed, falling back onto her bed as she laid her hand against her eyes. She was slowly starting to get tired, there was only so much she could handle. And this had gone on for a while, with mingi going to work too early and returning back too late.

He had already missed at least 5 of their dates and had apologized every single time, promising not to repeat the same mistake. Except he had, again and again. And mina had still kept on forgiving him.

But could she, anymore?

____________________________

Mina looked up as she heard the door opening, quickly standing up as she heard mingi enter the house with a tired sigh.

Mina : why are you so late?

Mingi flinched as he looked up, not expecting his wife to be awake. It was 3:30am already.

Mingi : you're not asleep.

Mina : clearly not.

Mingi let out a breath, keeping his shoes away as he said

Mingi : I had work.

Mina : everyone has work, mingi, and yet no one comes home at 3:30 in the morning!

Mingi : I am the CEO, I have things to do that other employees might not. I'd thought you'd know all that by now.

Mina : for me you're only my husband, mingi, I need you with me some days. I need to see you, talk to you-

Mingi : well you're seeing and talking to me right now, aren't you?

Mina hummed in frustration, looking away as she slowly felt anger take hold of her. He was being so nonchalant, he didn't even care anymore.

Mina : mingi, I cannot keep doing this any longer. You need to fix your work timings.

Mingi : I need to fix my work timings for a matter as trivial as this?

Mina : trivial? Mingi, this is our marriage! Our love! I-

Mingi : do we really still love each other, though?

Mina flinched at that, her hands clenching itself at his words. Mingi chuckled as he said

Mingi : love requires understanding, and we do not seem to have that between us anymore, do we? So are we really still in love, hmm?

Mina : mingi.

Mingi : lot of couples live this way after marriage, and maybe this is what we're destined to, as well?

Mina : I do not believe in destiny. What I do believe in, is correcting your mistake-

Mingi : I haven't made a mistake here, mina. I still provide for you, I still take care of your external needs. The only thing I do not do, is spend time with you. And that I am unable to do because of my work, which you must understand as well since you work too!

Mina : I am not asking for your whole day, I am asking only for a few minutes of your time.

Mingi : then I am sorry I am not able to give you that, mina. But I cannot change any of this. Either you will have to deal with it, or…leave.

Before mina could say anything more mingi turned around and left, leaving a teary eyed mina behind.

_____________________________

Mina walked towards mingi's office in his tower, a bag of food in her hands. It had been a week since their fight and mingi was being as cruel and cold as ever. Earlier even if mingi had been cold to her, he would give kind answers to her questions. But now, all she heard from him were words that stabbed right through her heart.

Well then, if he wasn't going to fix it, she was. Mina didn't have much self-respect when it came to matters as such.

Mina opened the door and was about to say something when she paused at the sight in front of her, her grip on the plastic cover tightening. One of the female employees were leaning too close towards mingi on the table, who was looking up at her with eyes that made mina sick to the bone. The employee's blouse revealed too much and mingi didn't seem to move from his position either.

So this was why mingi was the way he was right now.

Mina : am I interrupting something?

The employee flinched at her voice and stepped aside, bowing at mina. Mingi just looked at mina blankly, not saying anything. He didn't even bother.

Mina scoffed, looking at the employee before saying

Mina : I'm not going to fight with you, you don't deserve that much from me. Get out, you're fired.

Mingi : you don't get to fire her, mina.

Mina : are you being for real, song mingi? This woman was trying to seduce you!

Employee : I wasn't doing anything like that, ma'am, I was only-

Mina : I never asked, miss. I never asked and I don't wish to know anything from you either. So get out before I do something I regret.

Mingi : miss yoon, you may leave us.

The employee nodded and left the room, leaving both mina and mingi alone. Mina threw the plastic cover on the couch before looking at mingi with hurt eyes.

Mina : you're cheating on me?

Mingi : that's the only accusation you have left to say, right? So then say it, go ahead.

Mina : mingi!

Mingi : WHAT?

Mina flinched at that, stepping back as mingi stood up from his seat and said

Mingi : what? What do you want from me now, mina?

Mina : do you not have anything to say about the sight I just saw? Huh?

Mingi : what the fuck am I supposed to say when I know all that you're going to think is that I'm lying.

Mina : are you? Are you lying to me?

Mingi : maybe I am. Maybe I've been lying to you the entire time and maybe I've been fucking another, better woman behind your back. What are you going to do about it, Oh Mina?

Mina sobbed, stepping away from mingi as tears streamed down her cheeks. Mingi's eyes turned soft as he realized what he had said, trying to step forward in order to try an explain. But mina only shook her head at him, stepping back before running out of his office room.

_____________________

Mina downed her 3rd bottle of beer despite it being only 7pm, asking the bartender for yet another. The bartender sighed and placed yet another bottle of beer in front of mina. She was about to have a sip when she felt someone step forward, pushing her against the back of table before leaning close towards her face. Mina looked up with hazy eyes, realizing it was a man unknown to her. He smelled like alcohol, but she supposed she did too.

Mina : what-

??? : such a beauty you are.

Mina opened her mouth and was about to say something when the man shut her off with a kiss, pressing his flushed body against hers. Mina felt her head muddle, her focus only on the man and the excess amount of alcohol in her body. She was drunk, and he was a distraction.

Mina pulled back, breathing heavily as she whispered against his lips

Mina : what's your name?

??? : do you really have to know?

Mina smirked against the man's lips before kissing him again, wrapping her arms around his neck before saying

Mina : take us out of here, right now.

??? : as you wish, my lady.

__________________________

Mina woke up, looking around her with a small groan. She was in a hotel, an expensive one and the space next to her on the bed was empty. Mina quickly sat up on the bed, feeling her heart race as she heard the shower sound from the bathroom a few meters away from the bed. She flinched as she realized she was naked, her clothes lying all over the floor. She had…had she…shit.

Mina quickly stepped out of the bed with wobbly legs, putting her clothes on with trembling hands as she felt tears stream down her cheeks. She had cheated on her husband, she had…she had slept with another man when she had a husband.

Mina quickly wrapped her scarf around her neck in order to hide her hickeys before rushing out of the hotel room, not bothering to even see that man any longer. She had no idea what she had done, all she knew was…she had fucked up, big time.

___________________________

Mingi let out a breath as he turned around to look at the dining table filled with food, all of that now probably cold. He had come home early from work today, setting up dinner and candles since it was mina's birthday today, or…was. Tomorrow they were supposed to leave for Hawaii, as vacation for a month. It was why mingi had worked so hard for the past few months, in order to make sure things were in order before leaving. And today was the beginning of it, the beginning of correcting his mistakes. He had worked hard for 3 hours, preparing all of mina's favorite foods and making sure to buy the right scented candles.

But she never came home, the candles had gone out and the food had grown cold. It was 4am and mina still had not returned. Mingi figured it was his fault, for giving mina that impression in the afternoon. But he hoped she would forgive him.

Mingi stood up as he heard the door to their house opening, feeling a small smile spread on his face as he realized mina had finally come home. But his smile fell as soon as he saw mina walking towards the living room with wobbly legs and unsure steps, her eyes red and her entire face flushed. As if…as if she had just slept with someone.

Her hair was a mess, and mina's hair was never a mess. Her scarf was tied loosely around her neck, and her breathing labored. As soon as mina saw mingi, she ran towards him, falling into his arms with a hoarse cough. Mingi's eyes watered as he smelled the cologne of another man on his wife, knowing this could never be mina's. mina hated strong smells, and it was the reason mingi had stopped wearing colognes with strong scents and switched to something soft instead, one that would be comfortable for mina as well.

So this new smell all over her, it couldn't be hers and neither could it be his. And for the first time, smelling mina suffocated him, it filled his lungs with despair instead of comfort and coldness instead of warmth.

Mingi : mina.

Mina didn't say anything to that, just holding onto mingi as she leaned her head against his chest further. But as she did that, her scarf lowered down, revealing the marks on her neck to mingi. Mingi pressed his lips together, now knowing why mina had been so late to come home.

Mingi did not say anything further and held onto mina's shoulders, bringing her closer to him as he hugged her with trembling hands.

Mina : mingi?

Mingi : it's okay, go to sleep now.

____________________________________

Mina woke up the next day, looking around as she realized she was in her own bed at their house. She sat up and looked around, realizing mingi was nowhere to be seen and that she was wearing the same clothes as yesterday. She quickly stood up and changed her dress into something that would cover all her hickeys, wondering whether she had gotten herself into bed without being seen by mingi last night or whether he had put her here himself.

Had he realized? Or did he not even see it? Mina supposed there was only one way to know.

And so she walked to the kitchen with slow nervous steps, ignoring her headache and clenching her hands together as she heard noises from the kitchen. Mingi hadn't gone to work today, probably because it was a Sunday. Except he usually worked on Sundays as well.

Mina stepped into the kitchen, barely breathing as the sight of mingi trying to make pancakes without burning them came to her view. And looking at her husband who had his lips turned up into a confused pout, his eyes focused only on the pancakes, she felt her stomach turn. Whether it was from the hangover or not, she didn't know and she didn't care. She felt disgusted by her actions, absolutely disgusted.

Mingi : minnie, good morning.

Mina flinched at her husband's cheerful voice and the usage of that nickname, realizing that he might not have seen her last night after all. Good, she didn't have the courage or the energy to face any of that right now.

Mina gave mingi a fake smile before walking up to him, asking in a low voice

Mina : when…when did you come home last night?

Mingi : I actually didn't. I spent the night at the office since there were some last minute works to finish, so I only arrived an hour ago.

Except mingi was lying. Especially after seeing mina enter the kitchen while looking like she was having a hangover, mingi decided to play his part of being an unknown husband. Everything in him wanted to ask her why she had done it. But this was going to be better, this was going to tell mingi whether his wife was actually a cheater or last night had been just a mistake. And he wanted to see whether she was a liar, and how long it would take her to tell him the truth.

Mingi had trusted his wife to not do all these things, but that felt like a long time ago to him now.

Mina let out a breath of relief, meanwhile, knowing now that mingi hadn't known. He could never know unless mina tells him now. But even after knowing that fact, mina still felt like she didn't deserve any of this. Because of what she had done to their relationship last night. And now that mingi didn't know and was being all nice to her, it only made her feel even worse.

Mingi : come on, sit down. I made pancakes for you today. And, I'm on leave for today as well. Let's go to the amusement park, hmm?

Mina bit her lips, nodding as she sat on a chair in the dining room. Mingi smiled, placing the dish before saying

Mingi : I'll start correcting my mistakes from now, mina-ya.

________________________________

Mina mumbled a thank you as she took the ice-cream from her husband, holding it with both hands as mingi sat next to her on the bench with his ice-cream as well. It had been 5 hours since the both of them had arrived at the amusement park that mingi had rented for them and he had still not been exhausted. Meanwhile for mina, every ride that mingi had taken her to, it only made her hate herself more and more. She couldn't be happy with him, not when she knew what she had done. And she couldn't help but feel as if mingi deserved someone way, way better than her.

Mina flinched as she felt mingi rest his head on her shoulder, eating his ice-cream as if nothing had happened.

Mingi : do you love me, minnie?

Mina : w-well you are my husband.

Mingi : yes?

Mina : I did agree to marrying you.

Mingi : mhmm?

Mina pressed her lips together, looking away as she felt her heart break apart in guilt. She loved mingi with her entire life, but what right did she have to say that to him anymore after what she had done?

Mina : m-mingi-ya.

Mingi felt himself stiffen, wondering whether mina was going to say it to him.

Mingi : yeah?

Mina : I…I wanna go to that ride there.

Mingi felt disappointment fill his heart, putting on a smile as he said

Mingi : of course, whatever ride that you desire, wife.

__________________________

3 weeks later :

Mina washed the last dish, deciding today was the day. She was going to tell mingi the truth when he came back home. She couldn't bear it anymore, not when mingi was being the most wonderful husband ever, changing his work timings and spending tons of time with her during the weekends as well. He would take her on movies, beach dates, parks, resorts, he was amazing to her. He was correcting all his mistakes.

And though mina knew she could never correct her mistake, she supposed admitting to it was the bare minimum she could do. After all, he was her mingi, wasn't he? Maybe…maybe he wouldn't leave her like that after all.

Mina flinched as she heard the door opening, quickly keeping the dishes away as she walked towards the living room. She hated every second of this, she felt like her heart was going to burst inside her. But she kept the façade on even after seeing mingi remove his shoes with a small smile on his face.

That smile, that smile she loved. Was she going to wipe it off of him now, when she tells him what she had done?

Mina : mingi-ya.

Mingi turned around, his smile widening at the sight of his wife

Mingi : sweetheart, hi! How was work-

Mina : I need to tell you something.

Mingi nodded at her serious tone, keeping his bag aside as he walked closer to mina and looked at her with expectant eyes. She didn't want to play with him anymore, it would be better to just cut to the chase, she thought. And so mina fiddled with her fingers, looking away as she said

Mina : I…I cheated on you.

Mina stood like that for a few seconds, waiting for mingi to do something to her. Scream, hit, leave, but all she heard was silence. Mina looked up at mingi in half surprise half confusion, mingi's blank eyes looking right back at her. He wasn't even surprised.

Mina : mingi?

Mingi : mm.

Mina blinked, taking time to understand what was really happening. But as soon as she did, she stepped back, her eyes immediately watering as it grew large in pure shock and horror.

Mina : no. no no, you knew.

Mingi : I knew it the night it happened, yes.

Mina gasped, her heart falling apart at his words. This was the worst that could happen. Of the thousand answers mina had expected from mingi, this wasn't it. Mingi scoffed at her as he said

Mingi : how could I not know, mina? How could I not when you came back home the night of your birthday, covered in some other man's scent, hickeys all around your neck, looking like an absolute mess?

Mina : my…my birthday?

She hadn't even remembered it.

Mingi : yes, your birthday! I had made your favorite dishes, put up candles, hell, I had even booked a trip to Hawaii for both of us, mina.

Mina crumpled her hair on her hands, feeling all her doings hit back on her with such force, she felt herself lose balance.

Mina : that's why you…you worked for a month like that-

Mingi : yes, in order to take time out for you. And what you saw that day in my office room? That was her trying to explain to me what gift would be best to buy you for your birthday. She was trying to show me that on my laptop.

Mina sobbed, covering her mouth as she felt the world spinning around her. What had she done.

Mingi : everything I had ever done, was for you, mina. But after all that, you slept with another man, coming back home as if nothing had happened. And then…and then you came and hugged me, as if you were absolutely perfect and right. As if you weren't covered in some other man's…his…

Mingi cut himself off with a shaky breath, trying to regain his posture as he said, cold as ever

Mingi : so I pretended. I pretended to see how long it would take for you to break, for you to tell me.

Mina : and if I never…never would have?

Mingi : then I just would've pretended forever. Pretended to love you, when never truly loving you. And lived a life with you that we both knew was fake and made of sand. I would've pretended to be your husband, oh mina.

Mina looked away, small sobs falling from her mouth as she felt her entire body shake. This was all her fault, if only she had ever listened, ever talked to him, none of this would've happened. Mingi was always only a good husband to her, but she had cheated on him.

Mina fell on her knees with another cry, holding onto mingi's legs as she sobbed desperately

Mina : I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, mingi…mingi please forgive me, I'm so sorry.

Mingi shut his eyes tightly as he looked away from mina, feeling tears stream down his own eyes. Mina wailed while hugging her husband's feet, trying to beg for his forgiveness.

Mina : please, I wasn't thinking, mingi. I was dr-drunk, I was drunk and I thought you were seeing someone else so I…so I-

Mina cut herself off with another sob, not being able to formulate thoughts or see straight with the condition she was in right now.

Mingi : you slept with another man, mina. Do you understand that? Sober or not, sad or not, YOU CHEATED ON ME!

Mina flinched at that, feeling more tears escape her eyes as hiccups now accompanied her sobs.

Mingi : you broke all the vows we made on our wedding, you broke every single promise you had ever given me, you threw our entire past and ruined our future, FOR THAT ONE FUCKING STRANGER, MINA!

Mina cried harder at his words, feeling guilt swallow her up as a whole. She felt dying would've been easier than this.

Mina : I'm so sorry, I swear I'll never do it again-

Mingi : how can I trust you? How can I trust you when you've broken it into pieces, mina.

Mina lowered her head, sobbing as mingi stepped aside, shaking off mina's grip on him as he said

Mingi : I'm done.

Mina looked up at mingi as fear filled her teary eyes, her heart racing at the words she had never wanted to hear

Mina : wait no, no no, mingi no-

Mingi : you cheated on me, you know what happens to people who cheat, mina.

Mina shook her head desperately, trying to hold onto mingi. But he only stepped away, breathing shakily as he looked at mina who was now crying on the floor pathetically

Mingi : no. no, mina, I cannot love you anymore. And I cannot be your husband anymore either.

Mingi took off his wedding ring, throwing it on the ground beside mina as he said

Mingi : you and I, we're done.

Mingi turned and left, ignoring mina's screams and wails, her desperate pleas stabbing right through his heart. But he couldn't bother to turn back to her any more, because after all, it was what she deserved.

____________________

A month later :

Mingi walked into the prosecutor's office, hoping to find mina there. After that night mingi never saw her again, not even when he woke up in the morning. It was like she had never happened, except for her things. She hadn't taken anything of hers when she left, nothing. All her things were still at their place, and although mingi had waited a month for her to come and retrieve her things on her own, she never did.

So he assumed he would have to ask her to take them himself.

But as he entered her office room, he saw it empty, void of any belongings. Her name plate wasn't anywhere to be seen either. Mingi turned around as he felt someone walk up to him, realizing it was mina's assistant.

Mingi : miss bae.

Assistant : oh, mingi-shi! What brings you here?

Mingi : uh, where's…Oh Mina?

Assistant : your wife? She resigned almost a month ago, sir. I thought…I thought you'd have known?

Mingi's eyes widened, shocked at her words. Mina, had given up her position of being a prosecutor that she had worked hard for her entire life? Her job was mina's most precious thing apart from mingi, and for her to have given up that…

Mingi : are you…sure?

Assistant : I am, sir. She's resigned, effective 3 weeks ago.

Mingi let out a breath, mumbling a thank you before rushing out of the office. He had to see mina.

__________________________

Mingi clicked the button to the top floor of the apartment, wishing the lift could go faster to mina's old penthouse. The penthouse had been where mina used to live before her and mingi got married, it was where she would be right now. And mingi needed to see her.

He rushed out of the lift and ran towards the entrance of the penthouse, pausing right on his tracks as he noticed people moving boxes filled with things into the…empty penthouse. A couple was standing right outside, giving directions to the movers.

Mingi : excuse me?

The couple turned towards him, confused.

??? : yes?

Mingi : do you know what happened to the last lady who was living here?

??? : she sold the penthouse to us, why?

Mingi let out a shaky breath, stepping back as he felt his heart race. Mina had resigned and given up her house, then where the hell was she right now?

??? : sir?

Mingi looked up, realizing that the couple was staring at him in confusion. Mingi shook his head, putting up a small smile as he said

Mingi : i-it's nothing, thank you.

The couple nodded as mingi walked out, taking out his phone and calling mina's number. Except all it said was that this number didn't exist anymore. Did she throw away her phone too?

Mingi : no, where are you mina.

______________________

2 years later :

Mina coughed, wiping her forehead as she continued planting the seeds for the next harvest. It had been 2 years since she abandoned her posh city life to move to a small village in Jeju, cultivating the small land her father had left her with a long time ago and harvesting that for the money she required to buy her necessities.

She didn't have to buy a house, at least. Her parents were once farmers before they died and mina left to Seoul to become a prosecutor. And hence they already had a small cottage next to the farming plot, where mina had grown as a child. And although it was much humbler than the penthouses and mansions mina had lived in before, it was still enough for her.

This was the life she had to lead after what she had done to her innocent husband, and the more far away she was from him, the better. In that way he could find a better woman and live with her for the rest of his life, happily. And although that thought hurt mina, she knew it was what she deserved.

Mina sighed and kept her tools aside, finally having done with the planting for today. She smiled and slowly started walking towards her cottage, deciding to have a good dinner before going to sleep, something like sleep, at least. She had already told the other ahjummas that she was going to have dinner alone. After all, they were her parent's friends and after they had died, these people had become like parents to mina. They were the only family mina had anymore, and their happiness were hers now. But for them mina was the rich prosecutor from Seoul, the daughter of their bestfriends whom they had all grown with, together. If anything, they wanted to make sure she never had to work so hard. But even though they made a fuss out of someone like her having to make food for herself, mina told them it was needed some days.

Today was her birthday, the day she had made the biggest mistake of her life and ruined her happiness forever. Today was the day she was going to have soju and drink herself to sleep, just like she had done last year.

Mina entered through the back door, closing it behind her before walking towards the kitchen. She was about to turn the stove on when her doorbell rang, making mina groan as she rushed towards it.

Mina : aish, I told these ahjummas-

Mina cut herself off as she opened the door, not bothering to look at the person as she said

Mina : ahjumma~, I told you I'd eat by myself today-

Mina paused as her eyes finally landed on the person in front of her, her eyes widening in shock as she took in the person she had longed to see for so long, yet knowing she didn't deserve to. His black hair with new streaks of blue in them, his eyes shining under the stars, he was perfect as ever. Except, how was he here?

Mina : mingi.

Mingi : I've finally found you.

______________________________

[msallurea]

Loa Controversy Pt. 1

Despite what everyone says about us being God and what not in our reality...let me just say in my PERSONAL opinion, I do believe that there is a being much higher than us, a creator that watches over us, guiding us, protecting us, etc. Now, does this mean we aren't creators ourselves? No. But based on my personal opinion I do not believe we are the all of all, I do believe that there is a GOD. The God that is the way, the truth and the light. I also believe there are no multiple gods either (like Rah, Zeus, Aphrodite, etc) I believe that there truly is only ONE God. It is because we are in the image of this God and come from him that we are able to create our realities. I do not believe this God is a woman either and that this god isn't like us at all but way beyond that, it isn't human at all but omnipotent but I do feel it is a male. While I am talking about the Christian God, I currently am not Christian myself because i feel i dont trily deserve that title, but neither am I atheist because I do believe there is something beyond us humans that our minde simply can't comprehend its just something you either know or don't know.

Remember how I told you guys that I had lost my key and it really upset me, I couldn't find my key for the life of me which almost made me cry, right when I was on the verge of breaking down I simply said aloud "Lord please where is my key" ...within seconds something told me to move something around and as I looked over I saw my key seconds after saying this. Now I would like to add that prior to this I imagined hearing the sound of my key and that is exactly what I heard before seeing it BUT I honestly feel deep in my gut I would've never found it had I not call on the lord..while this is something small and barely anything I was taught that the Lord, God knew us before we even came out the womb and if anything it felt as if God already knew I was about to ask him where my key was.

This leads me to my controversial take...I do not believe I am the God of my reality, I am only a part of the God of my reality. What I mean by this is, while I don't believe I am God I DO believe I am a creator in my world and that my mind can create and have the power to create things in my reality. Even in the Bible it states "Death and life are in the power of the tongue and they that love it shall eat the fruit" thr Bible also states to guard our hearts and be careful what we think because they shape our lives.

I do truly believe that we as PEOPLE can manifest and create our realities as we desire but I also believe these desires we carry come from someone much higher than us, guiding us in a path that leads us to the highest versions of ourselves and the best versions of ourselves. I do believe that our imagination creates reality because in imagination everything is possible but I also believe that it's because of this that a being much higher, much more complex has given this to us,has given us free will to create our hearts deepest true desires just as he has. I do believe..truly. I do believe it is our I AM that shapes who and what we are but I believe that that was only first possible through a being much higher than us who calls himself God ans if we asked his name all he will say is "I am that I am" just as we would say "I am that I am" as well. In other words I believe we are a creation made in the eyes of a creator much higher and because we were created in this creators image we have been blessed to create as well through the tools provided which are: our imagination, to build the mental concept of what it is we desire; our heart, to secure our love within our creation because if we did not love it we would have never wanted it; finally our words, the very thing we use to speak life and death info things even if we don't realize it. All of this together is why we can manifest to begin with, and as a soul, as consciousness simply wearing a human body this is all you are.

Please remember this is MY personal opinion

[misscammiedawn]

Penlight Spoiler Reviews (Sayori Part 2)

Download Penlight (Pay what you like) from Itch.io here

Past reviews: Quick Review - Nozomi Routes - Sayori (Part 1)

Turq's reviews: Hiroko Robot - Hiroko Tickling - Nozomi Zombie

-

So... last time we met with Sayori and turned her into a Doll.

This time we're going to discuss the impact of Personality Play on a person and outright give Sayori dissociative identity disorder. As a person diagnosed with DID and a victim of personality play abuse I have a lot to talk about on this topic. I hope you don't mind me being a little over-indulgent.

CW: The Alter route will discuss topics of IRL hypnotic abuse and the long-term effects of personality play on a person's psyche as well as perspectives of how DID presents in my personal experience. I put the reality segments in italics to help people skip over them.

ALTER ROUTE:

Note that the name I refer to the Alter by in this review is the name I gave her. It is not even remotely canon. Aiko, Megumi and Yuri are the default names given by the game. Please do not take the naming convention I used to reflect DeMille's authorial intent. I use it mostly to match the screenshots and give some more pump to a narrative twist.

The first half of the review contains some seeds of discussion topics that I want to grow out so I highly recommend reading that one.

This route is my biggest hypnotic trauma being played out in visual novel format. I'll sprinkle my thoughts on the reality within the fiction. I'll put the reality pieces in italics if you want to skip them.

So if the Doll Route is based on the concept of boundaries and respecting someone's comfort then the Alter route answers the age old question of "What if your hypnotist were hit by a bus" that is to say, what are the impacts of going about your life with dangerous and permanent programming still in your head?

I suppose another theme would be one I vibe with intently. "Be careful who you entrust your mind with"

Sayori asked "what's the worst that could happen?" at the start of his hypnosis scene. Sayori, always so careful to think about things before committing takes her time with the doll suggestion. What if she didn't advocate for herself and set up firm barriers?

"What's the worst that could happen?"

Alter Route is a winding map of many paths and much of it is still yet to be written. The route begins with Sayori being asked to adopt a carefree persona who hates to study (and has a crush on Kyou). He also specifies that this persona will have no idea that Sayori even exists.

You, the player, are given a prompt to provide her a name.

I called her Sapphire. First playthrough and so shall again for this review. I picked that name with intent. I'm still not 100% sure it was a good idea, but I did.

Is it because of the alliteration? The blue hair? My referring to my hypnotic eyes as having a "sapphire flame"?

I said that this route was my biggest hypnotic trauma being played out on the screen?

In 2003 a dumb 19 year old met a man online named AW. AW saw that teenager's mind was fertile ground for character play. He planted a couple of alters in that kids head but none were as beloved nor as important as his little recruitment doll. His "slave" (oh how I have grown to hate that word) who he trained to bring him pretty girls...

The name I feel comfortable with in this current era of my life is Dawn. I prefer people call me Dawn when I am in this headspace, though I don't mind being called Camden and can tolerate being called Cammie when it is said by someone affectionate of us as an individual. But I am fractured. Diagnosed with DID in 2023. I type about it every now and again.

He called me Sapphire.

It was the name of a roleplay character... I even have Sue-Chan art commissioned of her. I have another piece at my bedside desk and have had it much of my adult life.

I have done a lot of thinking on if my DID is a result of this extensive play or if my DID simply made my mind more susceptible to it. The question is moot for the most part but I have found comfort in believing that there were elements of our heart which we were unaware of at a young age...

And AW reached in and found those elements within us. He found the part of us that was unburdened by sexual or gender repression and was able to personify our hypnosis obsession in a way we simply could not otherwise. He saw it. He identified it. Named it... Then dared to claim ownership of it.

In the game, Sayori takes to the suggestion swimmingly. She embodies the traits of this alter personality. She becames [Sapphire]. Giggling and acting shy around her beloved Kyou, she demands a tour of the house and Kyou becomes increasingly concerned that this act is going a little too far and you are given your first option.

For simplicity's sake I'll divide the path into 3 distinct branches (I made up the names for clarity as they do not have names on the official route tree):

Golden Ending - In which Sayori is woken up in Kyou's room and is so freaked out by the lack of memories between going into trance and waking up that much like Doll Route she refuses to let Kyou hypnotize her until she feels confident of the safety. In this route [Sapphire] does not come out ever again.

Day Lost - In which Kyou does not wake Sayori up and lets [Sapphire] go home and spend a night at home and isn't woken up until the next day at school. In this route Sayori's trust is broken enough that she seeks Nozomi's help, not Kyou's in saving her from this situation.

Week Lost - In which Kyou does not wake Sayori up and instead he decides outright to program [Sapphire] to be the dominant persona and avoid detection from the outside world.

For the Golden Ending there are a number of prompts during Sapphire's (let's drop the bracket gimmick and just call her that, it's better than saying Alter Sayori over and over) brief stint where you are given the option of bringing Sayori back and after she is justifiably upset about waking up mid-conversation in a different room you are given an option to summon Sapphire again.

I like that the chaotic nature of the initial encounter allows a number of options to go between what essentially are the options of "let Sayori exit Kyou's room" or "let Sapphire exit Kyou's room", especially as Kyou himself is making a decent number of assumptions about Sayori and her willingness to go along with the suggestion.

Kyou is a very big believer in the idea that a person's willingness to obey a suggestion is equivalent to a person's consent to the suggestion. This is because Kyou is a dumb kid and he is playing with fire.

If he does not try to force Sayori to calm down by imposing the carefree persona upon her she will accuse Kyou of projecting his infatuation of Nozomi onto her and become frustrated that he would dare override her core traits with such dangerous programming.

She notes that hypnosis shouldn't make her act the way she clearly was acting and admits this requires further study after cram school. She insists Kyou dedicate himself to further study on the topic too.

His study, which to his credit he does commit to, comes up empty. He believes Sayori is in denial that part of her yearns to be carefree and act as Sapphire had.

Sayori does her own research and...

Sayori is best girl.

She admits herself foolish for going along with it but is committed to the science of understanding what is happening to her. As a test she tries to resist Kyou's sleep suggestion but when she put her head on the pillow she was compelled to sleep deeply. She could not stop it. No matter how hard she tried.

She recognizes that the best hypnotists in the world could not do as Kyou has done.

Kyou gets defensive and starts a fight which escalates. At present you only have the option to apologize but there is a greyed out option for future in which you can bring Sapphire back.

I'm interested in seeing that path in the future.

After the pair talk it through Sayori thinks to involve Nozomi as a third party consultant. She wants to see if Kyou's hypnosis is as powerful on anyone or if it is just her and she knows Nozomi will instantly agree to this.

Sayori is a bad friend. In Doll route she refused to allow Nozomi to interfere with the hypnosis but in this route she weaponizes her knowledge of Nozomi's hypnosis fetish in order to have someone to test on. Even the safest penlight hypnosis has the potential for danger and it's hard to reconcile her involving Nozomi, even in a route where Kyou has proven himself not a shithead.

After school they test the penlight on Nozomi.

and it confirms in Sayori's mind the hypothesis that the penlight is odd and makes hypnosis act in ways it shouldn't. She even notes that the CIA have been trying to do what Kyou has managed for decades and a random high school kid accidentally stumbles on it.

Sayori really hates how Kyou just bumbles into success when she has to fight so hard to scrape by.

Now in the Nozomi route I mentioned that the timelines are pretty rigid for Sayori and to a lesser extent Hiroko. Sayori has cram school every day except for Sunday (which is a day taken by Hiroko's tennis tournament) and much of the Doll route requires maneuvering around study club, an optional obligation, and cram school which is necessary or she will be contacted by her father.

The other Alter routes will involve consequences for Sayori's grip on her responsibilities relaxing a little. Here she is still trying to be everything she should be while dealing with this extra stress.

That all said, she rushes out of the scene when Kyou finished the simple down and up with Nozomi. She has to go to cram school. She vanishes so fast that Nozomi is left sitting at the table running her fingers along the table and processing the fact that a fantasy from her mind control stories just came true and it's all suddenly over.

So Nozomi, with an opportunity to make her fantasies come true, tries to convince Kyou that it would help Sayori out to do more tests. She insists that it is in Kyou's best interest and she promises that if Sayori is upset then she will take full responsibility. She gives Kyou as many outs as possible to tempt him.

You have to deny her twice.

If you accept then there's a rough draft of an unfinished path but it also provides the most Sleepyhead moment in the game.

I swear to heaven Sleepyhead is going to cosplay Nozomi Akemi at a hypnosis convention one of these days...

Turning her down is one of the most mature moments Kyou has in any route.

His crush has just begged him to do the thing this entire affair was for and he turns her down.

I'm proud of you Kyou. You're a good boy. Also Nozo truly cannot be trusted around hypnosis.

You're a lovely girl, Nozomi, but you're insatisable. We all love you for it. But you cannot be trusted.

Look back to the Doll Route and the thing with the culture festival application. Sayori ruins her relationship with Nozomi because he couldn't trust her around the promise of hypnosis or Kyou with the temptation of working with Nozomi.

It's interesting when we get to see these dramatic irony stings.

The next day Sayori turns up and tells him to destroy the penlight. If you refuse then Kyou will force Sapphire out again use her willingness to go along with Kyou to entrance her again and both deprogram Sayori and erase Sayori's memory and then the next day utilizes Nozomi's offer to test more to do the same with her. Alone again but he still have his penlight.

In the good ending. He uses the penlight to deprogram Sayori and destroys the penlight. The story cuts a few months later and Kyou has become a regular at Study Club and is picking himself up. He is treating Sayori's insomnia via therapeutic hypnosis and is truly thinking about becoming a real life hypnotherapist.

He also pulled off the culture festival and though Sayori was not involved, Nozomi kept him on his toes.

The pair have grown close and know a lot about one another's lives to the point of which Kyou asks Sayori on a date to an arcade and she is surprised that he would ask her to such a location and Kyou mentions her talking about how much she enjoyed arcades before high school.

Sayori notes that they may be having a date but she still is still moving if she gets into med school and they won't last long. Kyou acknowledges that it's worth enjoying the moment even if it doesn't pan out.

I love her.

Now this route involves erasing Sapphire in both good and bad ending. She barely got to exist. Less than 5 minutes into the world.

Shall we go back in time to that initial encounter and meet her now?

An interesting part of the Alter routes where Sayori and Sapphire are bouncing back and forth (intentionally or unintentionally) is that this is the only route that has "rules" to keep a track of.

Any time Sayori is turned into Sapphire or Sapphire is turned into Sayori there is a complete void between times that the Become... trigger was used.

Sapphire recognizes that she was given a trigger to have a "carefree and fun" persona installed and assumes that "Sayori" is the name of this. Any time someone calls her it she becomes more and more aware of the situation.

Another rule is that Sayori and Sapphire have a common history and this is a really interesting thing that instantly caught my attention and proved that DeMille understood the assignment and either studied dissociative identities or is quite capable of understanding how they are expressed.

There is nothing about Sapphire that isn't part of Sayori. She is not how Sayori would imagine someone without inhibitions or a caricature of a carefree person. Sayori simply remembered a younger point of her life when she used to visit the arcade with her father and how her life felt before she became weighed down by expectations and the stress of not being able to keep up with her studies.

Look up at those last two pictures. That's Sayori at the end of the Golden Ending and Sapphire at the start of the Alter path. That smile isn't unique to Sapphire. Sayori can smile like that too. She can visit the arcade and have fun. That is a huge part of the story that is being told here. There truly is nothing within Sapphire that doesn't already exist within Sayori. They share a beautiful blushing smile.

It's not fully developed as a story where this was the core of the tale would be but I think that is something that makes it all the more effective. It's succinct. A concept I am completely blind to but I do like it when others pull it off. I am not saying that Sapphire is 12 year old Sayori (well. My thoughts are more nuanced than that at least. We'll see what I mean a little later). I am saying Sayori was asked to conceptualize a carefree version of herself and Sapphire was constructed from the emotions that she was once familiar with.

Which makes for not just an effective story, but a reflection of reality.

AW met us from a roleplaying group. Sapphire was not the only character we played in those days. But she was the only hypnotist character. When we were a teenager we were deep into reading hypnotic theory. We burned through so many books between ages 16-25. But there's a difference between reading how to do a thing and doing it.

But Sapphire was a character and so in posts she would think about different types of inductions by their name and talk about things like convincers and depth signals. She spoke in a grandiose pattern. She was confident. In charge. Dominant.

I don't know how many people AW had us hypnotize but he recognized that we did not have the confidence to do so when we were lucid. But in Sapphire's headspace there was no filter, no cogs turning... it was fluid. A person who knew their stuff, believing they knew their stuff... no delay, no bravado. Was I what I imagined a hypnotist to be or was I just a version of myself unburdened by a shame of kink, a fear of eroticism, any notion that this was not who we were and what we were built for.

I recall in the 2010s when my friend group met "me" in my iteration at the time... there was no hypnosis that time. Just a call from the heart to fill a void in a tabletop scene. Our playable character was transformed into the personality of a femme fatale and we needed to act as her with no time to prepare. We closed our eyes and reached inward. Sapphire is not the shape we sought but it was the shape that reached up and took control in that moment.

We think about that moment a lot. I took the name "Honoria" that day. The shape of "me" had changed. I wonder what shape I was before AW got a hold of me. Sapphire existed before AW... but he poisoned her. Changed her into something else. It makes me wonder what experiences, emotions and memories forged me. I wasn't always here. But now I am...

And I don't just disappear in silent moments or the years between activty.

I'm also a sucker for rules in storytelling and so when things like which name is spoken out loud or the trigger is used I am keeping these things in mind. I wanted to mention that early as it plays in as we go.

So Kyou does not bring back Sayori and Sapphire laughs about how Kyou's hypnosis must have failed when he calls her "Sayori" and she does not recognize the name.

And with Kyou's negligence on full display, Sapphire heads out of the house, not even recognizing her own name. He assumes she'll just snap out of it when the situation calls for it. He doesn't realize the level of distress that can be caused by leaving someone in a literally "altered" state interact with the world and their life.

We used to call it "channeling". Evidence had shown that hypnosis could let our younger self do things that they couldn't do in an unaltered state. Eventually they started to lean into it. At work. In intimate situations. When they needed to perform. When they needed to play a character, to push through barriers of fear and doubt. Close your eyes. Let yourself enter a flow state. Become the person you need to be...

We were already a transgender woman pretending to be a man. This just made us a transgender woman pretending to be a man needing to pretend to be other people just to function in basic life tasks. It felt pathetic. It felt so alienating from my sense of self. I didn't identify with my body or my mind. In seeking ego death we hypnotically abused ourselves to the point of which we were just an idea of a person who had a legal name that didn't feel like our own...

I did this to myself, I would think.

The next day Sapphire ambushes Kyou at the gate. He notes it's odd but he's just happy there's someone happy to see him.

Kyou doesn't realize this is the alter personality and calls her Sayori, convincing her that Kyou is still trying to make the hypnotic compulsion from the previous day work.

Kyou's reply is not to tell her to Become Sayori again. It is to panic about what Sapphire will do when she hears the wrong name being spoken by the teacher and her friends...

In his defense, Sapphire did scold him in trying to trigger her in a public place.

But he still prioritizes a comfortable landing for Sayori over the danger of allowing Sapphire to run rampant.

This priority is the source of much of the drama in the One Day situation.

During class people do infact call Sapphire "Sayori" and she is horrified and confused by it.

We are given two options.

"It's a prank" - Change her back

We'll focus on change her back for now and come back later for "It's a prank". After all. Kyou may be able to tell himself that he is prioritizing Sayori's safety and doesn't want to wake her up to a public setting but the longer he puts this off the more distress both Sayori and Sapphire will be in.

It would be irresponsible to actively encourage this situation to continue by gaslighting or worse programming a woman in distress to lean into her altered headspace to avoid confronting the reality of the other persona being upset when they wake up.

...so let's have Kyou bring Sayori back.

Penlight hypnosis causes the hypnotee to blank out entirely. We saw this directly in the "Reversal" route. This counts for altered states too. We had seen it when Sayori woke up suddenly in Kyou's room and we saw her reaction to it in the Golden Ending path.

Imagine how terrified she would be waking up a day later with no memories of her night. Knowing that some other version of herself had lived a day in her life. Spoken to her parents. Attended school. Acted as if it were here.

The sentiment makes her sick to her stomach.

Sometimes in our emails and chatlogs we find little bits of evidence of our actions and behaviors, areas of the internet we had posted in with no recollection, even after system discovery.

AW had Sapphire make her own Yahoo account to send messages from, I have the sign-up email in my inbox. When I saw it my blood froze cold. I still do not know the password and it has been locked from my attempts to get in. It terrifies me to think of all the things I would see if I managed to get in.

I don't think I can describe the powerlessness and vulnerability that comes when you realize that the continuity of your own experience has been disrupted and even in the face of evidence you're unable to reconcile it. You know that it was you. You cannot deny that. But it still remains alien. You have no memory at all of the situation or scenario. It makes you feel so hopeless and untethered.

She takes it fairly well, given the circumstances.

Sayori retreats to the rooftop club ordering Kyou to stay the hell away from her. She is beyond terrified.

Kyou, being Kyou, instantly starts internally pouting about how he is not at fault for how people take his hypnotic suggestions and that it is unreasonable to blame him when hypnosis cannot force someone to do something they didn't want to do.

Typical Kyou stuff.

He does note he should have been better about safety and beats himself up a little about his mistake, though.

From here the school week continues on with Sayori avoiding Kyou. She instantly speaks to Nozomi, someone she knows can help her with matters of hypnosis. Nozomi even gives Kyou a firm talking to and tells him in no uncertain terms "you hurt my friend. You have to atone. On her terms, not yours."

Nozomi is wonderful. She really gets to shine in this route as she is the voice of ethics in hypnokink. Ironic, given how quickly she throws that all away when she has an opportunity to go under for herself but she knows her stuff, she knows her ethics.

It speaks to how much a person can let their own safety disappear when they are given opportunities to play. I'm certain all the older members of the hypnosis community had some brushes with dangerous individuals due to their own level of self-neglect.

But Nozomi does know what ethics are and she wants to protect her friend. She does a fantastic job of it.

She acts as a mediator and invites Kyou to her house the following day so that Sayori has a safe space to work out what the heck is going to happen next.

At Nozomi's house they gather together and Nozomi lets Kyou have it, she all but screams at him.

(Nozomi and I share a soapbox)

The rant Nozomi gives on ethics at this point is one of the highlights of the game for me and not just because of my connection to the reason she's yelling. She speaks passionately about how ethical hypnosis is performed, she uses the word "hypnotee" several times (proof that DeMille is read up as the fictional space and public consciousness tend to favor "subject") and notes how Satoshi, the senior from last year's show, had performed correctly.

Nozomi's anger at Kyou is something that reminds me of a number of my close friends in the best possible ways.

Sayori even notes that she is certain Kyou meant no harm and that she forgives him. Nozomi's reply is "Not until he gets on his hands and knees"

Better be careful, Sayori. Nozo is coming for your "best girl" crown.

Sayori is Sayori though and she is not going to submit herself to deprogramming hypnosis without understanding the situation in full and having control over how the matter is handled. This may not be the consent/rapport version of Sayori's story but she is still the same woman. Well, Sayori is anyway.

Sayori notes that the level of control that Kyou has demonstrated matches years of conditioning with a hypnotist and shouldn't be replicated with 2 sessions worth of trance.

AW and I met in 2003. I broke it off with him in 2010...

Sayori wants to understand the rules and pontificates that if they are as she thinks then if Sapphire came out she would not recall anything between the last time the trigger was used and the present moment. Sayori is also certain if she heard the trigger phrase she would be incapable of resisting it.

To prove this she asks Kyou to use it.

And it works. Sapphire returns, giggling at the magic trick of Kyou teleporting her from school to Nozomi's house. She's just delighted to be out of class. She is hypnotically compelled to hate studying after all...

Sapphire takes it all in stride and seems to have no qualms with Nozomi's presence, outright saying that she assumes Nozomi invited them over because of her "hypnosis-loving giddiness". Sapphire knocks Nozomi off her balance by outright identifying her fetish and laughing at how Kyou clearly picked up on it too.

All Kyou needed to do was say "Become Sayori" again and the scene would be over, hypothesis confirmed. Alas, what can go wrong must go wrong and Nozomi's mother enters the scene and Kyou prioritizes the comfort of Sayori waking up in an awkward position over her safety.

He convinces Nozomi to let the conversation play out and just trigger Sayori when the mother has gone. Right? Sorted.

A small chat turns into lunch.

Lunch stretches on and Sapphire starts talking it up. We learn a little more about Nozomi's board game hobby and the fact she has a secondary friend group she plays games with on some evenings.

Sayori's phone goes and Sapphire excuses herself to answer it... and then goes missing.

The next sequence is a lovely wild goose chase of Nozomi and Kyou unable to find Sapphire (her phone is turned off!) and worrying that Sayori's father referred to her as "Sayori" and Sapphire worked out she's the installed personality and ran off to prevent anything happening to her.

Remember how I said the timelines of the game are rigid. Saturday is a good day for this to happen. Sunday is Hiroko's tournament after all...

...and Saturday is cram school for Sayori...

Her dad was upset she wasn't there and Sapphire, hypnotically induced to hate studying, hung up on him and turned off her phone and ran off to have fun.

The goose chase has some wonderful characterization of Kyou and Nozomi bickering, a brief Hiroko cameo and some character history for Sayori.

They find Sapphire at the arcade. In every route, as noted by the ending of the Golden Ending, Sayori has fond memories of going to the arcade with her father prior to high school and she was actually remarkably good at video games and found them relaxing fun.

Sapphire is just built from that feeling after all.

I do not know how much research DeMille did in this route. Turq told me in reading blog entries (this specific route was written this year) that DeMille was not happy with how this route was written and I was surprised to hear that. As a person with DID and former victim of personality play abuse I felt the nuances were handled remarkably well.

One of the theories of DID (which is a dramatically contested topic in psychology. I should do a post on the 3 major theories that are kicked about someday) is based on Attachment Theory. In child's psychology they are developing aspects of identity, self and personality which are typically reinforced by their relationship to caregivers and the stability of their environment.

Attachment Theory posits that while the child is developing they come to have subconscious expectations of their environment based on how they are treated that cause a level of anxiety and avoidance with Secure Attachment being low anxiety/avoidance and Disorganized Attachment being high levels of anxiety/avoidance. Disorganized Attachment is more than just anxiety/avoidance, though. It comes from unstable environments where the child cannot reliably act in a certain way to get their needs met. Caregivers and authority figures do not respond well either via abuse or neglect (for instance an alcoholic mother may be violently and angry towards a child at night and then loving and apologetic in the morning) leaving the child feeling confused and afraid and unable to rely on stable protection and affection. Thus the personality and stable sense of self does not develop as the child is not modeled a correct way to behave, leaving them without a stable core.

Add in some cPTSD to the mix and you get some fun stuff happening in the brain.

Incidentally Disorganized Attachment is something that comes up in the development of BPD (which includes Identity Confusion as a diagnostic criteria) as well, which is why some psychologists believe that DID is just BPD with extra steps. As I said it's a contested field.

That all is to say that Sayori's relationship with her parents is strained. They are always working, something she and Kyou bond over, and she herself is busy to the point of breaking trying to live up to their expectations. Maybe I'm just headcanoning it but Sayori and her father clash a lot when Sapphire goes against his wishes.

So it is truly remarkable to me that Sapphire regressed to the point in her life when she used to visit the arcade and play games with her father. Sayori always refers to him as "father" and (in this route) Sapphire always refers to him as "daddy". I chose to put weight on that, even if it's not intended by the author.

Every one of her routes this love of video games exists but you'd never see it if she didn't have a reason to let it shine. It's not that she's ashamed of it. She just cannot be the person she was before and it's part of the reason she resents Kyou. Kyou can just take it easy and coast without even trying. She's sacrificing SO MUCH and cannot even feel confident about her ability to succeed.

Sapphire just takes the weight of that responsibility off of her.

Oh it's been a while since I used a photo. I got caught up talking about psychology stuff. I do that sometimes. Here. Have a Sayori kicking Kyou's butt at Street Fighter!

Sayori decides that this proves her theories about the penlight hypnosis without a shadow of a doubt and requests Kyou allow her to hypnotize him with it.

She does so at Nozomi's home and much like the Nozo-Reversal route we have a quick blank out from the induction to 20 minutes later. Nozomi and Sayori worked hard to be safe about their suggestion and we witness one of the most interesting scenes in the game from an ethics standpoint.

Kyou remains in trance and during this 20 minute window is forced to deprogram Sayori and remove Sapphire and sleep triggers from Sayori's mind.

We'll get more into the ethics of just erasing Sapphire in the final segment of this route...

Kyou argues that the penlight isn't a mind control device and Nozomi, clearly done with Kyou's denial and is about to get into an argument when Sayori steps in and notes how Kyou believes that the penlight is just a hypnosis tool and not a mind control device and if such were true then he would not obey any programming that he did not want to.

She orders him to break the penlight.

Kyou obeys.

But he fights the compulsion.

He fights it with all his might.

Seeing just how much he struggled in this scene reminds me of the ending of Nozo-Trance where Kyou commanded her to be his girlfriend. The penlight can overrule agency and in this moment Kyou cannot resist. He screams, begs the girls to stop, swears at them and cries out at the top of his lungs.

But he obeys.

Kyou is livid. Yelling at both girls that they had no right to subvert his will and destroy his hard work. He even threatens to build another one... and it is in this moment when...

Sayori hugs him and shares a moment of perspective. They had both been violated by the penlight and left to feel confused and afraid at the complete lack of control they each had in their own mind.

The ending to this route is actually rather positive. Sayori's father relents enough to let Sayori ease from her studies a little as it is clear that she had a burnout that erupted in her behavior during Sapphire's reign and that she was working better with full rest anyway.

Any Sayori route tends to include a note that moderation helps her more than obsessive study. Burnout will actually kill her but she needs to make the change from inside. She's a proud woman with a firm sense of control on her experience. She does not want to be told what to do, but she benefits a lack of pressure.

Kyou, Sayori, Hiroko and Nozomi start a D&D campaign together and Sayori finds an affinity for acting out characters in the setting.

Trust me, I can relate.

So this is what happens if Kyou wakes Sayori up on the school day after creating Sapphire.

...what happens if he didn't?

What happens if Kyou is arrogant enough to think Sayori is better as a carefree lady who hates to study?

What if Kyou decided he wanted to keep Sapphire?

"It's a prank" Route:

Every now and again I pull up my chatlogs with AW and one question plays in my head over and over again.

"How could I trust someone like this with my mind"

I pulled up chatlog and did a word search for "memory" to see if he ever did amnesia shenanigans with me. I found this exert:

AW: so she's pretty much wholly brainwashed at this point AW: her memory, personality, beliefs etc… are all customizable AW: she's got a second, deeper moral compass now. 'right' is what pleases master, and 'wrong' is what displeases master

As I read this all I could think was how did I let someone talk to me like that. How did any part of me accept that he could be allowed to mold us... it was such a violation.

If there is one thing I am grateful for it is that hypnosis in reality is not hypnosis in Penlight. The things AW commanded us to do were unconscionable. But we simply did not obey. But we did not run from him. It took him trying to make moves on people in our vanilla real life to make us break it.

If Kyou decides to trick Sapphire into thinking everyone is calling her Sayori as a prank, she instantly starts to threaten Sayori's entire career by complaining about study club and how much she hates school. Kyou doubles down.

Kyou doubles down in the worst way possible.

He hypnotizes Sapphire to always hear the name "Sayori" as Sapphire and to always unconsciously refer to herself in speech and writing as Sayori. By the absolute grace of DeMille Kyou remembers enough to make this suggestion in a way that saying "Become Sayori" will not be heard as "Become Sapphire". Though in my opinion the fact he even thought to close that loophole speaks to how unethical he is being right now. He knows what he is doing and is doing it anyway.

When Kyou is a little fuck he really makes me hate him...

During this hypnosis session Kyou starts thinking of Sayori as "Sapphire's other personality" before internally correcting himself to say "real personality".

That's one of the biggest themes of this route. "Real".

In the first two routes, Sapphire was a suggestion gone awry. Her autonomy (as well as a good use of "compartmentalized memories" in dialogue) is noted in the "Bring Sayori Back" (Day Lost) route but it is in this route that Sapphire and Sayori are treated as full dissociative identities.

Having just committed an atrocity on Sayori and helped smooth out any wrinkles in the personality he installed in Sayori's mind (that is commanded to have a crush on him), Kyou wakes her and she confesses her love. Kyou reciprocates.

Kyou's denial is legendary enough that if DeMille revealed he had a hypnotic compulsion to have the worst possible take in any scenario where the player isn't controlling the situation, I'd believe her.

Sapphire is all about the public displays of affection and starts being intimate and close to Kyou at school, pulling him to the rooftop club. There she mentions that she is dating Kyou and they are practicing hypnosis for the cultural festival.

Nozomi's hypnosis radar is pinged.

After Hiroko incredulously calls her bullshit, Sapphire doubles down and states that she is going to have a proper date with Kyou during the coming weekend. When reminded that mock exams are coming up and she should be studying, Sapphire happily says she will blow it off in order to spend time with her love <3

Nozomi's bullshit detector is pinged.

However, Nozomi is Nozomi. So she simply chimes in that as Class Rep it is her duty to help with the cultural festival and she must be involved in this hypnosis show. There is no options in this. They will attend Kyou's house tomorrow and there is no ifs or buts.

Sapphire also proves she cares about her friends and notes she is prioritizing Hiroko's tennis match for Sunday. Sayori is a good friend, even when her moral limitations and over-controlled behaviors are turned off.

Why, yes. I do know what I typed in the last review.

Have you considered Sayori is best girl, though?

Nozomi spends the day scripting out what will happen with the hypnosis session (no shenanigans, just scripting) and is enjoying herself but then Sapphire gets the phone call. Same time as it happened in the previous route. Sayori's father is livid that she is not at cram school. This time however we get to hear the argument and it is fairly pointed.

Sayori cannot avoid going in this route. It's interesting to note the differences between Sapphire without Kyou's reinforcing her presence in Sayori's mind and how she is here. The other Sapphire just hung up the phone. This one ended up going.

Nozomi excuses herself before noting "Sayori has never missed school. Not once. Not regular school of cram school."

She notes the discussion about second personalities and knows damned well what is going on here.

My beloved audience, behold! It is the thesis statement of this entire route. Also I will remind people of what Nozomi's first action is when she gets a hold of the penlight in Nozo-Reversal route.

There are so many times in this game where characters make overt ironic references to other routes. This is most certainly one of those moments.

After cram school Sapphire and Kyou meet up for their date and Sapphire talks about how she had intended on getting in a higher level high school but had not been able to be accepted elsewhere. She was happy to have Nozomi and Hiroko still in her life but it marks the moment that Sayori had become obsessed with study.

She visits the arcade and notes how she used to visit with her dad. Once again I note the fact that this Sapphire is less childish than the previous one. I feel the "Bring Sayori Back" Sayori was regressed to who she was before high school, referring to her father as "daddy" where here she calls him "dad" every time. Sayori always says "father".

Kyou's hypnosis has integrated Sapphire and Sayori and more importantly associated the memories, just not the behaviors. This Sapphire is an adult and she has full ownership over her actions during high school and has decided that she does not want to be that person anymore. She is happier like this.

Sapphire plays an arcade game and thanks Kyou for letting her "relive a happier time in her life" before dragging him down for dinner.

The two bond over their estrangement from their parents. Kyou is from a broken home with a father he barely sees and Sayori/Sapphire have a paramedic mother they barely see and a father who doesn't do anything to help anyone and Sayori/Sapphire disagrees with what he does and they argue about it.

She had wanted to become a doctor to make them proud even when they did not have economic advantage but Sapphire is not as sold on the idea. A doctor needs to keep up on study for their entire career. She has no interest in such a life.

Kyou starts to realize he is making a huge mistake and that programming Sayori to go against everything she stood for.

Finally realizing what Nozomi was trying to tell him before he realizes that he's done a horrible thing and tells her that they have to break up. He confesses everything. That he used hypnosis to change her personality, that he expected she would snap out of it, that he is going to throw her entire future down the drain and it's not right and they have to stop.

Then Sapphire pulls the rug out from under him.

We have just lost cabin pressure...

So you may have noticed that I was calling her by the alter's name this entire time.

The game text is still calling her Sayori and has been since we reprogrammed Sapphire to unconsciously hear the name Sayori as her own. Kyou has been calling her Sayori. The entire game up until now has been treating this character as if she is Sayori but with her personality adjusted.

This scene has the game switch the name card back to Sapphire.

She's known the whole time that she is the installed personality. She worked it out on the first day when people were calling her Sayori. The installed personality was supposed to be "carefree and fun-loving" and she sees those traits in herself. Therefore it stands to reason if she behaves in the way Kyou's hypnosis was supposed to make her act and people called her the wrong name then she is the one who Kyou created.

And she's okay with it.

Moreover she knows Kyou can just say "Become Sayori" and be done with it.

And she is NOT okay with that.

"What is this "real" business? I am as real as can be, Kyou. Do you mean to say I am not the original? That I am a creation that must be destroyed now that I have inconvenienced you?"

"Kyou, I am no parlour trick for you to put away once it has been used. I am real. I have lived a life."

"Do you... do you really think you have the right to take that away from me, Kyou?"

Sapphire explains she has existed as a feeling within Sayori for some time and that her experiences these past few days are her own and belong to no one but herself.

Flooding with tears she says that what Kyou calls "fixing" her is actually Killing her.

One thing I see argued back and forth in support groups is the concept of a core/original/real personality. Many therapists, especially those approaching from the perspective of the IFS model and expect there to be a "Genuine Self" waiting to emerge. I do not share this viewpoint and even if I did , how ethical would it be to assume the birth identity is the only valid one when we've been living as a woman for 3 years.

Even still... would "birth identity" and "the original" even be synonymous. I consider "birth identity" to be the boy from London, not the person in the stories we were told of our childhood.

I may not have full memory of my childhood but I am fully aware of the things the "little monster" did. I wasn't allowed to grow past it. Suspended from school 3 times, expelled once, hospitalized a kid by cracking his head on a concrete pillar, stole, broke into places, got brought home by the police a couple times. All before hitting 10 years old.

I do not know who that child my father would tell me stories about was. I don't identify with him. I do not feel him inside me. I am aware it was me who flooded the toilets, punched a teacher and broke into abandoned buildings.

I also remember the refrain in my head in those young years "don't be like them." I remember moments of oblivious bliss and moments of being consumed by an all powerful righteous fury in my heart. Simultaneously a happy child and an angry adult. Seeds that would grow into Cammie and Camden. Yet neither of those were my name... they wouldn't be for another 20 years.

When we transitioned. We didn't know we had DID. Camden had been running the system for a few years at that point and was finally able to express openly and outwardly... and so on days when we couldn't present femme our self-loathing and emotional volatility increased. We began to hate with a burning passion any expression of masculinity and our English heritage.

We began to hate our birth identity existing within us. We tried to erase him. End him.

It's actually a common practice for people going through gender transition. Here's a comic that makes the point more clearly than I ever could. See my tags for it? This comic convinced me exactly what the game is saying firmly. The Boy has a right to exist within our heart. We don't get to put him away just because he's not convenient to our gender expression anymore.

Kyou is told firmly that to erase Sapphire from Sayori would be murder and that Sapphire believes Kyou is a better man than that. She acknowledges this is a heavy topic and gives Kyou time to think. Our little idiot hypnotist is left completely out of his depth, forced to accept that he has given life to this alternate personality and such gifts cannot be revoked lightly.

What follows is a sequence at school where the rooftop gang gather and Hiroko stresses about her performance in the tennis tournament may impact her scholarship giving Sapphire the opportunity to show how carefree she is about scholarships. Nozomi confronts Sapphire with the knowledge that she is an installed persona and is horrified to find out that Sapphire not only knows this but does not care to be "fixed".

The conversation also bounces back and forth between using the names "Sayori" and "Sapphire" enough that Hiroko and Nozomi notice traces of Kyou's meddling. He confesses that he has programmed her to hear the name she is comfortable with whenever someone is clearly addressing her.

Nozomi is LIVID at hearing Kyou tried to mitigate harm by disguising it. She knows just how monstrous and unethical that is.

This is something that I fear isn't delved into enough within the ethical routes of the game. There are shadows of it here but I really feel like there needs to be a route that is specifically about owning mistakes.

As Turquoise pointed out in his NozoZombie review, a good hypnotist can still make no errors and still hurt a person. Kyou is entirely the type of person to utilize amnesia suggestions to bury mistakes and put things "right" but typically this only happens in the bad endings of routes.

I know too many people who played in the 2000s with dangerous hypnotists who crossed boundaries or made abreactions and tried to make the hypnotee forget rather than owning their mistake. I truly feel this is a topic that DeMille would knock out of the park if it were the sole focus for a storyline.

I also want to know that Sapphire's speech patterns at this point of the story are unique to her. Sayori has a grandiose way of speaking and the way that Sapphire talks is in character for Sayori but where Sayori's expanded vocabulary and wordy ways of speech is treated as her being a little loquacious, Sapphire embraces the concept of "eccentric", utilizing some phrases that she uses as a point of comfort such as "as you like".

Oh and as a British expat, I do love when I can feel DeMille's nationality bleed into this Japanese setting. It just makes me happy in the same way playing a 90s era RPG with American pop-culture references or seeing Brock eat a "jelly donut" would.

On the rooftop Nozomi caves in to despair, realizing that her friend is the one being killed. Sapphire insists that Sayori still exists within her mind but she has no reason to yield her existence to her. Nozomi's crying starts attracting attention and so Sapphire concedes that Sayori needs to be part of this conversation but it has to happen later in a safer place.

"Wait! Not here. And certainly not now [...] do you have any idea how Sayori will react were she to wake right now? In this place?"

Sapphire says that they need to perform the hypnosis in the privacy of the study club, where Kyou first hypnotized Sayori.

If you've not played this route yet, I want you to cast your mind back. Kyou did indeed hypnotize Sayori for the first time in the study club. This is a true statement.

But there's something odd about it, don't you think?

Kyou notices too but cannot quite identify what it is until Sapphire says that in order to make a safe landing spot for Sayori the conditions need to be perfectly replicated. Including Kyou and Sayori being alone in the room.

What is she scheming, I wonder?

After school Sapphire enacts her role as head of the study club and Kyou waits until afterwards to meet with her. Nozomi makes a final plea to bring Sayori back and tries to explain that Sapphire is not a real person and that the fact he can erase the hypnotic trigger is a proof of this fact. Kyou, who has spent time with Sapphire and recognizes her as a unique entity, disagrees.

Kyou's denial is legendary, though. Nozomi is making sense. She feels this "Sapphire" is simply Sayori following hypnotic programming, acting in the ways that Kyou told her to act and there is no separate individual. There is just programming that needs to be removed.

I like that this argument is left as a firm disagreement between Kyou and Nozomi. The ethics are dirty as can be in this situation. Kyou literally created a personality that is hypnotically compelled to love him. Earlier in the route Nozomi says that Sayori is "under duress" when Kyou says they are in love and that is right.

The situation has spun out of control and now the morality of it has become ungovernable. It is wrong for Kyou to permanently change Sayori into his girlfriend, it's the same situation as the endings where Kyou forces Nozomi to become his girlfriend. It is wrong to deprive Sayori of her autonomy, her life, her years of hard work.

Erasing Sapphire should be a cut and dry case.

But Sapphire is advocating for herself and does not consent to being erased. The whole situation boils down to whether or not you believe Sayori is following hypnotic conditioning or if Sayori and Sapphire are separate individuals with autonomy.

To add in further moral murkiness, Sapphire has come up with a scheme.

She will finish out her high school career pretending to be Sayori. Acting as a stuffy and studious woman, friend to Nozomi and Hiroko and stay away from her beloved Kyou. Earn their freedom by going through the motions and then after school is over she can return to Kyou and not have to worry about her parents or friends or society nagging about her behavior ever again.

Obviously that is an unacceptable circumstance.

Makes it easier to just ignore Sapphire's consent. She's not "real" after all...

But Sapphire is smart enough to know this may be the case and has selected the Study Club as the location of their hypnosis instead of Kyou's home.

That's the thing that was odd about the location. Kyou hypnotized Sayori in the study club for the sleep suggestion. Sapphire was created at Kyou's home.

She knows that if Kyou tries to bring Sayori back then he will be forced to manage the fact that she has lost 5 days of her life. Sapphire is so intent on living that she has put Kyou in a position where refusing her is disadvantageous. Sapphire is an evil mastermind when her back is to the wall.

In her mind to "include Sayori in this conversation" would be to destroy herself. Once she loses her ability to advocate for herself then Kyou would be the only one who could speak to Sapphire's autonomy and Sayori, Nozomi and Hiroko would never treat her as "real".

We know this. Nozomi said as much just before this meeting.

Sapphire admits, she has no right to demand this of Kyou (though she did think to put him in a position where refusing would end poorly) and that if he simply remembers her and keeps her in his memories then it could be enough.

You are then given the option to bring Sayori back or not.

Bring Sayori Back - Go Along with Sapphire's Plan

Should you go along with Sapphire's plan then she will have Kyou use a fake trigger to "bring back Sayori" and invite Nozomi to come into the room and begin acting out as if she were Sayori.

As soon as Nozomi comes in she keeps asking Sayori if she's okay. Telling Sayori that it's been 5 days. That Kyou hypnotized her.

Sapphire sells her role and is as livid and rigid as one would expect Sayori to be. Nozomi starts peppers every sentence with Sayori's name. Truly concerned about her friend.

Then Nozomi proves she is smarter than Kyou and knows her shit with hypnosis.

"Sayori" does not even react. She is hypnotically compelled to hear either name and internalize it as the name she should hear. Nozomi said Sayori every sentence in order to slip in a "Sapphire" and see how she reacts.

Sapphire fails to notice and Nozomi knows that the pair of them had lied to her...

In despair she once again cries for her friend to come back and Sapphire springs into action.

We get a timeskip to the final day of school. "Sayori" hangs out with her friends and Kyou remains a social parriah. Everything has gone "back to normal".

As they pile out of school Hiroko notes that Nozomi looks jumpy and just doesn't want to be there. Sapphire looks at Nozomi and assures her that she is amongst friends and she shouldn't be so tense. That if she had anything that was concerning her she could speak up and she would be happy to help her see things in a new light.

We flash back to the study club room.

Sapphire didn't use the penlight. She threatened to use the penlight.

She kept Nozomi in line via threats because she enjoyed watching the discomfort in her face whenever Nozomi was caught in the moral quandry of doing something or not fighting against this injustice. Sapphire gets off on having power over people and making them stew in discomfort.

Full credit to @spiralturquoise for pointing out that in the doll route there is a moment where Kyou has a thought box where he is convinced Sayori is enjoying his discomfort.

I am convinced that Sayori in every route enjoys watching people in moments of discomfort. It certainly explains her reactions to NozoZombie's stage show and why she makes the best audience member to be watching the events.

There are actually a number of little bits of foreshadowing in other routes. In one route Hiroko even jokes about how "we don't need two Sayori's around here". I look forward to replaying the game and catching the little asides.

DeMille has a very firm idea of who these characters are and is so gifted at maintaining their internal consistency. More impressive given how each character is dramatically altered when they interact with the penlight.

The bad ending concludes with Sapphire reuniting with Kyou andf starting their new life together with her performing a little bit of jabbing at him to see his own discomforted face contort as he struggles against the morality of his actions.

This ending has Kyou and Sapphire break off from the world and alienate themselves from family and friends to dive into a life consumed by one another. I find that this is one of the more intriguing fail conditions of the routes. Isolation is a big theme of all the bad endings. Whether Kyou ends up ostricized due to his misdeeds, sacrifices connections with the girls for what he feels is the safest option or is consumed by a hollow life where kink has consumed everything.

The doll bad ending is of a similar calibur where Sayori has no cares or interests outside of how wonderful hypnosis feels and so Kyou finds a full time job in maintaining a hypnojunkie and his life entirely becomes about catering to those needs.

Intimacy and connection is the good end. Isolation, even when alone together, is a bad end.

But that's a bad end. Let's bring Sayori back instead.

Kyou's lip trembles and he mumbles out his apologies. Sapphire just smiles back and closes her eyes in acceptance.

"You... You need to Become Sayori again."

Sayori wakes up and is stunned, scared and confused. Nozomi rushes in to hug her friend and they go to Kyou's home in order to sort things out. It was where the suggestion began and thus it seemed prudent to handle it there.

Nozomi and Kyou explain everything and Sayori listens and absorbs. She is numb by the end and tells them what it felt like for her. There are no memories at all of her time as Sapphire and she could not impact anything from within their mind, she was simply trapped in a void.

Kyou takes this as confirmation that Sapphire is a being unto herself.

Sayori agrees, noting that her hubris enabled this and that she should have been careful to entrust her mind to an idiot clod. She now has a dissociative identity to show for her arrogance. Sayori fully accepts that Sapphire is a separate entity born from her thoughts, emotions and memories and does have a right to exist.

Sayori is the best girl and I love her.

She gives Kyou two options. Erase all the programming and lock Sapphire away inside her mind forever, unable to come out and interact with the world. This option is as good as killing Sapphire but will allow Sayori full control over her life.

The other option is to integrate their consciousness to function together. Nozomi is horrified to consider this option, noting that it would be the end of Sayori's aspirations for med school.

She gives her signature Sayori smirk and boils it down to a simple statement.

"Ruin my life or destroy hers."

You bring Sayori under penlight hypnosis once again and are given the final option of the story.

Sapphire... I won't leave you behind - Sapphire... I have to let you go.

First off I note that Kyou frames this choice as being about Sapphire and not Sayori. I say that with no judgment or commentary. It's simply a fact of the route.

To erase Sapphire ends the game with an abrupt timeskip. The rooftop club want nothing to do with Kyou and he lives out the rest of his school career in solitude. Sayori manages to recover her lost week and feels confident about her chances for med school.

When Kyou speaks to her on her last day of school she is blunt and angry with him. She says every time she sees him she remembers how close she came to losing everything.

She says trusting him was her mistake and she takes ownership of it...

But Sapphire's life was placed in her hands and he sealed her away forever. Sayori wants Kyou to live with that. She wants him to miss her for the rest of his life.

She says goodbye and Kyou never sees them again.

I can think of few things in life more painful than being revoked access to speak to someone you love. To see them in front of you. To interact with them and to know that you are no longer on the "inside" of their trust. That you know the true names and shapes of the person... the people behind those eyes and know that you no longer have permission to see that. You are no longer allowed to hear their individual voice. It is a pain I would never wish on anyone.

And oh the level of self-loathing in internalizing that you have no right to be upset about it. That you are not owed access or trust. That you have to just live with the knowledge that they would take it all back if they could.

I know what it's like to miss someone for the rest of your life.

...so...

What if we integrate the pair into a single consciousness?

This time Kyou programs the two to have a line of internal communication and the ability to trade the body when they need to.

The timeskip happens again and Kyou has once again gone the final months of school alone. He is not soon to be forgiven for his actions. But as exams end the rooftop club have a date to go to karaoke to celebrate. Sayori is pessimistic about her propositions but did promise to celebrate. She also promised to talk to Kyou.

The rooftop club approach him and invite him to the celebration. As Sayori speaks with him, cold and upset, she is caught in moments of aside where she is caught in an internal argument.

The scene at the karaoke club is so beautiful and shows that not only has Sayori adapted to include her alter self into her life but Nozomi and Hiroko fully accept Sapphire as the 4th member of their group. Hiroko and Sapphire even seem to get along greatly.

Sapphire comes out to Kyou's comfort and delight and explains that Sayori pulled out of her emd school plans and they have to live a completely different life to accomodate their ideology clashes.

Kyou himself being one of them.

Sapphire and Sayori have internal conversations that Nozomi and Hiroko ask to be filled in on and for all it is worth this is handled just as it tends to be in my lived experience. DeMille did a good job of showing what "healthy multiplicity" looks like in a social dynamic and I cannot begin to thank her enough for that.

The whole "split personality" thing in fiction is always used as a source of drama. Internally as the turmoil between two (or more) individuals fighting over the solitary life. Externally as people not always knowing which alter they are speaking with.

I always appreciate when it's shown as just a part of who a person is. That people struggle to keep up with the shifts but are capable of following the changes and being aware that the person they are speaking to contains multitudes and the statement "they are the same person" and "they are different people" are both true at the same time.

In support groups I tend to see a common refrain that "DID is actually boring. It's just traumatized people trying to live their lives." and I agree with it. There's so much less mythology and intrigue in reality. This scene does a good job of showing the mundane reality of a person who has attained dynamic system communication and has people who they trust and share their truth with. The clumsiness and uncertainty of how any of it works and just trying to not stumble or apologize too much.

I often think I don't deserve the way people see me. See us. I've never been able to be what I am lucky enough to receive for others. In support groups and in life I have met other people who have these experiences and I fuck up. A lot. I try to not worry about it because I know I'd forgive the people around me if they messed up. But it takes earnest care and trust to be open with another person and for them to accept you and adapt their behavior to invite you in. It heals my heart to see Nozomi and Hiroko roll with it, even if they don't fully comprehend it.

During the karaoke party Kyou asks Sapphire where they stand, if they have a future or if tonight is a goodbye.

Sapphire takes him outside and admits that she still loves him and as Kyou reaches out to make a connection Sayori steps in and scolds her alter for breaking their agreement.

The pair get into an outloud argument over the situation and the impact Kyou's hypnosis has had on their shared life.

Sayori had to talk to her parents and tell them that her stress had caused a breakdown and she needs to adjust her life goals in order to accomodate her abilities. Sapphire jabs that Sayori would have had a miserable life treading water if intervention had not happened. Sayori notes that being forced to surrender her dreams is not a favor.

The sequence ends with Sapphire saying that she forced Sayori to give up her dreams. Giving up her love of Kyou is a suitable price.

Kyou will always be the one who ruined Sayori's life and saved Sapphire's. Sayori cannot bring herself to hate him but she cannot allow him to be in her life.

In a bittersweet ending, Kyou allows Sayori/Sapphire to return to the karaoke bar and he walks home.

The end.

The route is interesting in that there is real basis for it and yet the dynamics of the route lean more heavily into hyperbole than most need to. Adjusting a person's identity and risking them gaining a dissociative disorder is a very real issue within the hypnosis community.

I recently made a post about the topic which was inspired by my playing this route. I have no desire to out any of the people I have spoken to in the weeks since I posted it but a number of people have approached me to thank me for the post and share their experiences which mirror much of what AW did to me.

Then there's those Disney Deer files that are so imfamous at altering people's personalities and compartmentalizing their thought process that there are major online publications doing exposes on the topic.

DeMille handles the situation both in the present of noting what happens when a person's behavior is shifted by hypnotic conditioning and just how dangerous it is to give birth to alter egos via hypnosis. I feel there is full respect in her depictions and spare for Kyou's behavior being on a spectrum of irredeemable and fucking stupid; the characters treat the scenario with the gravity it deserves. I never felt like anyone betrayed their character's core while arguing on the agency and legitimacy of the alter personality.

I don't know if this is going to be the best storyline for anyone or be relatable to anyone outside of a very narrow window of individual... but as a member of that pinpoint Venn diagram... I appreciate that this story exists.

I think DeMille knocked it out of the park and I cannot wait to see what happens in the grayed out paths when they are written. Even if it hurts to read.

Next time we'll visit Hiroko. Though Turq has already handled the Tickling route if you want to read that now.

Going to take some time to focus on Not Penlight for now though. This took an age to write and edit.

[ask-de-writer]

Return to the Master Story Index

Return to CLASSICAL FANTASIES

THE FISHERMAN'S LEG (Part 3 of 20)

A sequel to Dee 1/2 Demon

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

6373 words (work in progress)

© 2023 by Glen Ten-Eyck

All rights reserved. This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

TUMBLR EXEMPTION

Blog holding members of Tumblr.com may freely reblog this story provided that the title, author and copyright information remain intact, unaltered, and are displayed at the head of the story.

Fan art, stories, music, cosplay and other fan activity is actively encouraged.

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

New to the story? Read from the beginning HERE.

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

Fisherman Minami glared at Sunma, but remembered in time to raise a finger and bow to Magistrate Lim. Being acknowledged, he demanded, “Criminal charge? Why would you seek to damage my reputation so?”

Her face gone tight but forcing a false smile, she pointed to the thick file documenting his multiple legal faults. “It is not needful for me to defame you, Minami san. You do that yourself.

“Again, I ask the good Magistrate to set the fine or other penalties as the law requires.”

Magistrate Lim bowed to her while replying, “It shall be as you wish it, Sunma san. As your case is directly tied to much else, all must become criminal, with every fine made current or he must be required to do hard labor on the roads of Sabo.

“For his assault on your person, and its connected violations, he must pay of silver cash four strings ten and three strings twenty five of copper cash.

“Miko san, I need your services as a Provincially Registered Scribe and Accountant.” He offered her Minami's thick file. “This criminal charge has now reduced all of the civil complaints to criminal ones. I will not increase any of the penalties. Please total up all of Minami san's outstanding arrears, including this case. The entire sum must be paid this day or he will have to have a penalty of service added in addition to any outstanding monies.”

As Miko's abacus beads clattered swiftly at each new page turned and her busy brush added more notes, Fisherman Minami was looking aghast. At last, she finished the task.

Magistrate Lim kept his face imperturbable as he formally asked Miko, “Have you the accounting of Fisherman Minami san's arrears and the specific cases?”

She bowed deeply as she replied, “I have indeed.” She offered the Magistrate the paper in her precise handwriting.

Magistrate Lim examined the document carefully before turning to fisherman Minami. He began, “Minami san, there are only two things that you can do to avoid six moons of hard labor on the roads of Sabo province.

“You may produce all of the required arrears in fines and restitution or you must do what you have not done previously. That is fully explain to this Tribunal a lawful justification for all of your actions against the plaintiffs since you came back to Sabo from the war, two years ago.”

Pulling a sour face, fisherman Minami growled, “How much must I pay?”

Calmly, the Magistrate replied, “Two of golden cash. Of silver cash, one string and eighteen, of copper cash, three strings and twelve.”

Sketching a bow to the Magistrate, he grumbled, “I have the money. I was going to put it to good use fixing up my boat, the Sea Lion. Now, through the evil legal chicanery of these girls, I must waste it to stay free!”

With a polite bow to constable Canra, Magistrate Lim framed his order courteously, “Constable, if you would be so good, accompany Minami san as he gets his money and guard it well until it is here. Should he try to do any other thing but get his money, you may use any force needed in your own judgment.”

“It shall be as you have said, Good Magistrate,” constable Canra replied, seeing to his cudgel and taking his ceremonial but very functional naginata from its rack by the door.

Bowing politely to Minami he stated, “Let us go to gather your funds. The Tribunal is awaiting them.”

Sour of face, Minami arose and left, the constable close behind him.

While they were waiting, Miko bowed to Magistrate Lim and offered, “Good Magistrate, if Minami san has such a sum readily available, we must look into why he has allowed such an arrears to accrue over the last two years. According to his Tribute Tax assessments he should not have so much.

“He has reported both poor sales and a high rate of spoilage as reasons for his low income.”

Magistrate Lim nodded to her and replied, “There is already an investigation underway, Miko san. The seven fishing boats that supply the Fish Market have all complained to me of the massive spoilage rate that reduces what they are paid after turning their catch over to him.”

Miko promptly bowed deeply as she replied, “Good Magistrate, as a Provincially Registered Scribe and Accountant, it is my duty to tell you of any crime that I become aware of.

“If Minami san is not buying the catch at the dock, it becomes a consignment. He is fully responsible for all that he takes in and must pay the fishermen for their whole catch, regardless of any spoilage that happens while it is in his care. Such is the law of consignment.”

He bowed to her and replied, “The matter will be taken under consideration.”

Shortly, Constable Canra and Fisherman Minami returned. Clearly holding his temper, the fisherman laid the money gently on the Magistrate's laquer ware table.

While the Magistrate was confirming that each string held its full hundred coins and counting the rest, he sat and fumed.

Magistrate Lim looked up from his counting and stated, “All is correct.” He quickly brushed a receipt and gave it to the furious fisherman. “You may go.”

Patsu was directing the other three girls as they constructed yet another float out of bundles of bamboo.

“That's it, Satsuna san and Dee san! Get the ropes around that floating bundle and pull it up onto the ropes that we laid out! Now, Miko san, pull those ropes up around that bundle so that they cross each other. Catch them around our new bundle and tie them tight, one set at each end. Then we can just push one bundle in and keep the other up where it is easy to work on!”

Satsuna looked up! She dropped what she was doing and siezed a long bamboo pole intended for the next float! Yelling, “Thief! Stop thief!” she sprinted up the shore and thrust the pole between fisherman Minami's legs!

He tripped flat on his face, dropping Patsu's good striking hammer and a board from their lumber pile! As he was beginning to get up, Patsu arrived and kicked his rump, driving him flat again!

Constable Canra stepped through the hole that fisherman Minami had, unnoticed, chopped in the fence around the Chiasu Estate property that Dee managed. The constable smiled and said, “Well done, Satsuna san but too soon.

“Dee san, I was waiting for him to emerge from your property to arrest him for theft. Now, all that I can charge him with is vandalism of your fence, attempted theft and criminal trespass. With your permission, Dee san, I will do so.”

Dee picked up their board and gave Patsu her hammer. As she was doing so, fisherman Minami snarled, “Those bungling girls have no need of good tools or fine wood like those planks.”

Dee, her usually slowly waving flame red hair now gone stiff from anger, gave Minami a hard stare with her yellow eyes, their vertically slit pupils closed to thin slits by her anger as she nodded. Voice tightly controlled, she permitted, “Please do so, constable Canra san and to the other charges add another count of his slander of us from the Shop of Repairs.

“We shall be to the Tribunal shortly. The fence must first be mended.”

The constable led the bitterly protesting fisherman Minami away while Dee and her friends wove new strips of split bamboo into the fence, to fill the hole made by Minami. As soon as they were done, they went up the busy streets of Sabo village to the Tribunal.

To be Continued

<==PREVIOUS ~~ NEXT==>

Return to the Master Story Index

Return to CLASSICAL FANTASIES

[platonicreaderinsertfanfic]

Stuck in Another Dimension (Part 1)

Word Count: 1,413 words Post Duel Monsters anime. This takes place a few years after the end of the show. Dub continuity plus a version of DSoD. Female reader. Summary: The reader and Kaiba have been accidentally tossed into another dimension. After a series of adventures, they’ve landed in the possession of this dimension’s version of a man Kaiba was hoping to never see again. *** This version of Gozaburo wore a snow white suit. He seemed more at ease than the ones you had met in the past, but even a child could read the predatory gleam in his eyes. “So you two are accidental travelers from another dimension, hmm? It sounds like you might be of some use to me, Seto.”

“I’ll never help you.”

“Do I allow you to talk to me this way back in your home dimension?”

“You don’t allow anything, old man. Where I come from, you’re gone.”

“Gone? I’m surprised you can function without a strong hand to guide you, Seto.”

It had been a very long day, and your frustration overcame Kaiba’s instructions to leave the talking to him, “Kaiba’s stronger than you ever were—he outmaneuvered you back when he was just a teenager! All you managed to do was mess up a good kid and then off yourself when he bested you and took over Kaiba Corp.” You avoided looking over at Kaiba as you took a deep breath, “So quit acting so superior and deal with him as your equal.”

“Seto, are you in the habit of permitting your woman to interrupt important negotiations?”

“No.”

You bristled at the phrase “your woman,” but already regretted your outburst enough to keep quiet and avoid a second one.

“Which is one of the reasons” Kaiba continued coldly, “I requested you leave her with the petty criminals in Satellite until the conclusion of our business.”

“And here I thought you were nobly trying to protect your lover.”

“I’ve never been a fool who wasted my time with romance. She’s my assistant.”

“Then you no longer have any use for her. My Seto will be able to provide you with any assistance you may require.”

“I told you, I won’t—”

“Roland?” Gozaburo interrupted, “Take the young woman out to the courtyard and have her shot.”

“What?!”

“Now now, Seto, giving yourself away when faced with an obvious ploy like this? You do have an emotional investment in the girl.” Gozaburo turned to you, “What are you to him? Be honest.”

“We’re friends.”

“Lovers always say they’re friends.”

You glared. “Yes, well, if you know Kaiba at all then I think you know we’re not. But thanks to you, what should have been a simple friendship took years to acknowledge.”

“Nevertheless, tell me about your relationship without trite words like ‘friends.’”

“I’m…He trusts me.”

“Go on.”

“Uh. We’ve been through a lot. We’ve worked well together. And we’ve…”

“Yes?”

“At this point Kaiba’s realized I may be the only person who will neither fall in love with him nor leave him behind. Frankly, it’s a quality I appreciate in him as well.”

“Anything else?”

You hated this, “He gives me freedom, and I give him…whatever the heck it is that makes people like being friends with me.” You shrugged.

“You’re friends?” Gozaburo asked.

You glared and nodded. 

“Now that is interesting; friendship is a relationship of equals—souls standing shoulder-to-shoulder and facing life together. It’s a powerful force.” Kaiba looked surprised to hear Gozaburo talking like this. “That being said, I don’t tolerate anyone acting above their station. And however Seto may view you, you’re not at my level, and I do not allow underlings emotional outbursts during business dealings.” 

“But—”

“Don’t worry. Pawns are useful, and I’m not in the habit of destroying what I can use.” Gozaburo looked past you. “Roland, fit them with a pair of collars.”

“Very good sir. And shall I have them sent Underground?”

You could hear a man walking up behind you as Gozaburo said, “ Not yet.” You flinched as the man pulled aside your hair and clamped a metal band around your neck. Raising your manacled hands, you tugged at the item experimentally. Immediately, a shock of pain coursed through you. A moment later, when the pain ended, you were panting on your knees, glad to have stopped screaming, disoriented, afraid.

Kaiba was still on his feet, barely. “Whatever you did, don’t do it again.”

“Right.” You mentally kicked yourself for tugging on the stupid thing, of course it would be designed to prevent removal. And although your memory of the moment was hazy, you were pretty sure your actions had triggered Kaiba’s collar as well.

“Is there anything I can invent you won’t steal and misuse?” asked Kaiba as you shakily stood.

“How perceptive, Seto. These shock collars are an invention of your counterpart.”

“So you’ve got access to a contactless neural interface. What do you need us for again?” You suspected you wouldn’t like the answer.

Gozaburo appeared to see you in a new light, “You could recognize the technology after only one use?”

You kept quiet.

“I asked you a question!”

“Yeah, of course. It’s the primitive version of the neural interface we use in our Adventure System.”

“Which is?”

You wanted to be out of the spotlight, “An escape game system which combines Solid Vision with a neural interface to create an immersive experience for the player. Obviously our technology is much more advanced than yours, but I remember the earlier prototype stages well enough to recognize the sensation.”

“I’ve always assumed Seto’s obsession with games developed as a coping mechanism to deal with his separation from Mokuba. But perhaps you’re simply fated to waste your potential on frivolity.”

“Mokuba?” You could hear the change in Kaiba’s voice.

“Oh, don’t worry, you’ll be spending a great deal of time with your brother’s counterpart.” Gozaburo walked back to his desk and pushed a button on his intercom, “Seto, come to my study.”

You raised your manacled hands.

Gozaburo smiled, “Ask your question.”

“What exactly are you planning to do with us?”

“She’s rather direct, Seto. But then, you’ve never had much subtlety either.” Gozaburo turned back to you, “Seto will be sent underground, where he will work in a labor facility until I send for him.” 

“I’m not working for you,” Kaiba interjected.

“Oh, Seto, I think breaking your spirit will be much more fun this time around.” Gozaburo smiled and placed his hand over his wristwatch.

Your eyes widened in realization, and then you were yelling in pain, dropping to one knee, yanking desperately at your collar in a mindless effort to remove it. When it was over, you could see Kaiba in a similar pose. For a moment, it was all you could do to fight off a wave of dizziness, “What about me?”

“My Seto has his birthday in a few days. You will be my gift to him. A reward well earned.”

“Oh?” You weren’t in the right frame of mind to respond intelligently.

“He’s never had a slave of his own before. I wonder how he’ll put you to use?”

“Wait,” Your mind finally cleared, “you’re splitting us up?”

“Indeed, although with these collars your lives will continue to affect one another. I find it rather poetic.”

“I hate you.”

“No doubt you do. But if you want to say your goodbyes, you should reorder your priorities.”

Kaiba sneered, “If you think you can hold either of us for long, you’re delusional.”

“You have spirit, Seto. But how long can it last?”

“Kaiba…” You weren’t sure what to say. 

“Same rules as always?” he asked.

“Yeah. Of course. Do what needs to be done. But…if we could limit your rebellion to the bare minimum, that would be good.” You forced a small smile, “The pain settings on these collars are really high.”

“You can take it.”

“Yeah, but I’d prefer not to.”

“Hmh.”

“You're rather different than I expected,” observed Gozaburo.

“Shut up, old man.” Kaiba turned back to you, and his eyes softened a smidge, “I forgot; this is your greatest—”

“Don’t,” you tilted your head towards Gozaburo.

Large men grabbed Kaiba and pulled him to his feet. “If my duplicate gives you any trouble, don’t hesitate to make him suffer.”

“Sure.”

“You’ll pay for this, Gozaburo!” Kaiba shouted his last words before the men dragged him out of the room.

“Now,” Gozaburo loomed over you, “I believe we still have the small matter of your outburst to settle.”

“You’ve made your point abundantly clear, there’s no need to make it again.” You tried not to sound panicked.

“Without consistency, rules are useless.”

You tried to keep from crying out when the pain came, but couldn’t. You could hear Gozaburo chuckling over your anguish, and then your vision blurred, narrowed, and faded to darkness as you passed out. Part 2

[vtforpedro]

personal/med update

My brain is fried mush right now. I survived my disability hearing on Tuesday. It was definitely informal, a little intimidating, but I feel I got through it well enough. My attorney said it’s a toss up because this judge is extremely professional and won’t give any indication and he sure didn’t. The vocational expert narrowed me down to like 3 jobs, then 2, then 1, then 0. I felt that was a good thing? Like am I not disabled if I can’t do any jobs? Either way, my age is working against me so we shall see. It’s very strange that you can be completely disabled and unable to work, but not by US law so they won’t provide aid. Blegh. Gotta wait another 1-3 months for his written decision. ._. Last Thursday, I noticed I had a ‘spot.’ I call them spots b/c I have eczema but I also had a bad ringworm infection in 2015 and called them spots then. Red spots that turn into rings. Anyway thought it was gonna be eczema but by Friday I was covered in many more. Cue me having multiple meltdowns about it interfering with my hearing if it got too bad lmao It didn’t, but it is bad! I had 49 ringworm spots as of last night and they grow in number by day. So, I went to see an NP b/c my dr couldn’t fit me in. Went as well as every other medical professional interaction has, which was terribly, and left me in tears and feeling beat down yet again by the medical field. She wants disabled me, who was bedbound for eight months and currently in PT to recover, to put cream on 49 spots and counting. With IIH and nerve damage that limits my movement and ability to stand for longer than 10-15 min. But she kept interrupting me and wouldn’t let me explain any of this. Her notes said ‘she is not usually terribly active’ so I guess being bedbound translates to that somehow??? She also said I had 3-4 spots on my breasts which is not what she was told by me or what her MA wrote down. lmao so guess who had to message her pcp again!!!!!!!! A completely healthy person can’t be expected to put cream on 49 spots 2x a day. For me, this involves washing my skin since I am unable to shower every day cause of the whole disabled thing. She said a lot more bullshit about my swollen feet and fatigue, so basically I got zero help. It was barely a 10min appt. Fucking hate them, I swear. She refused to give me the oral anti-fungal cause of my other meds, but my mom asked the pharmacist today and she said I’d be fine to take it. The pharmacist asked, unprompted, if an NP, urgent care or ER doctor said no to the oral pill and my mom was like YES! And she said they don’t understand it and won’t give it despite it being used every day even for yeast infections and athlete’s foot. She said her friend went through this shit too trying to get the oral pill. Back in 2015, I suffered this infection for 5mos while applying for health insurance/getting approved/waiting for a pcp because no NP, UC or ER doctor would give me the oral med lmao I saw my new pcp finally and he was like uhhhh no here’s a prescription for it you have way too many spots to worry about putting cream all over your body. Y’all I had been washing my sheets, towels, clothes, taking apple cider vinegar baths, soaking my spots in ACV, then applying one of five or six otc and prescription creams EVERY DAY. I spent two hours twice a day in my bathroom. Ringworm was what I did every day all day for five fucking months. I cannot fathom doing that again. It’s insanity. I was close to a mental breakdown and I only had MH issues back then, none of the physical stuff. I hate it here man Also why do I keep having shit happen every time I turn around. No idea why my feet are swelling, no idea why I have this abnormal fatigue that makes me teary because I sit here and stare at my screen unable to think of anything else but how tired I am. Like for long periods of time. She said to talk to my psychiatrist about it HOOOOOOOO. I woke up this morning and immediately started crying. It’s triggering being treated this way after three years of it. I should’ve waited to see my pcp and used otc in the meantime or something, but my pcp wanted me in asap for my swollen feet so I could get lab orders. Which, according to this NP, ‘there are no labs for swollen feet.’ Where did they get this lady She’s like WHAT ABOUT YOUR LEUKEMIA DID THEY CURE IT? I’m like my chronic, lifelong leukemia? No, it is in remission lmao chronic is right there in the name ma’am. It’s the first word. HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I’m gonna go cry again sorry for ranting I am so so so fucking sick of medical professionals and I cannot wait for it to slow down but my february is completely booked and march is halfway there. Chronic pain life baby!!!!

[misirosekisiro]

The Silent Killer 1-2

เรื่องเจนผ่าน AI เหมือนทุกเรื่องช่วงนี้ ยังสนุกกับการทดลองเจนเรื่องแนวต่าง ๆ ไปเรื่อย ๆ อยู่ เรื่องนี้แจ้งก่อนว่าน่าจะติด 18G ถึงไม่ได้โหดแต่ก็มีฉากฆ่ากัน ใครไม่นิยมโปรดผ่านนะครับ

Chapter 1

Inside the dimly lit coffee shop, Dylan sat quietly at a table against the wall, sipping from his cup of cold brew, browsing through the pages of a worn paperback. His eyes darted back and forth between the words and the occasional movements around him – students chatting animatedly, laughter echoing off the old wooden walls, the faint whirring of laptop fans intertwined with clinking cups.

In these moments, Dylan felt strangely comforted, finding solace among familiar faces and unassuming routines despite being surrounded by people. He couldn’t help but feel like he belonged here, amidst the buzzing energy. It was during one such break in conversation when his attention was captured by a peculiar man entering the cafe.

He noticed the way the sunlight played upon the man's face as he made his way towards him; there was an air of mystery surrounding this stranger.

Something inside Dylan told him not to dismiss this chance encounter; perhaps it would lead somewhere interesting. With an easeful smile, the man approached Dylan's table and introduced himself. "Hey there," he said softly, drawing out the word 'hey'. "I don't think we've met before."

Dylan found himself caught off guard momentarily, trying to remember if he had seen this guy somewhere else before. "Ah… maybe? I can't quite place you either." He answered truthfully, genuinely curious now about this enigmatic individual.

The stranger leaned closer, smiling gently, studying Dylan intently. There was a magnetism to him - magnetic charisma, Dylan thought to himself, suddenly aware of how attractive the other person was. Without even thinking, he found himself asking, "So what brings you here?"

With a swiftness that surprised even Dylan, the response came quickly: "Books, actually!" The stranger laughed, displaying perfectly straight teeth beneath a set of full lips.

"Oh, just some casual browsing, really. But tell me, which one do you enjoy most? Are you more inclined toward classics or contemporary works?" The intriguing aura continued to swirl around him, capturing Dylan completely.

For the first time in weeks, he experienced a spark of excitement within him, awakening feelings long buried deep down.

Nodding in agreement, the stranger elaborated further, "Well, you see, I am usually fond of modern literature, though occasionally, I find myself engrossed in classical texts too. What about yourself? Do you prefer any particular genre?"

Dylan smiled slightly as he replied, "It depends on my mood, honestly.

Sometimes I crave a good classic tale filled with rich language and depth, whereas other times, I simply want a quick escape from reality with a fast-paced page turner. Why do you ask?"

 The stranger gave a small nod, his voice becoming increasingly deeper and resonant as he spoke. "Perhaps because I sense your thirst for knowledge and adventure, Dylan." Pausing briefly, he added softly, "Apart from discussing our literary interests, do you care to join me later tonight for dinner?

We could continue our discussion over drinks or dessert. Perhaps I might be able to provide you with some recommendations based on your reading habits."

 Dylan hesitated, feeling flattered yet uncertain about this strange proposition. Despite his reservations, curiosity got the better of him. Sensing an opportunity to expand his social circle, he agreed tentatively, "Alright, let's meet then.

When and where should we rendezvous?" The stranger paused briefly, contemplating his choice of words carefully. In a smooth tone, he responded confidently, "How about Tomorrow at eight o'clock outside the library? We shall proceed together afterward." This seemed agreeable enough to Dylan, who expressed gratitude and exchanged contact information. As the conversation continued, Dylan became more engaged, finding himself fascinated by this stranger's intellect and easygoing demeanor. He realized that spending the evening in his company held potential for friendship and intellectual growth alike.

"Oh how bad i am, we talk until now but we still not know each one name, I'm Dylan."

He said, introducing himself finally. He looked almost apologetic, but also excited, waiting to hear the answer. "I'm sorry! How remiss of me," the stranger exclaimed playfully, taking a sip of his own drink before replying, "My apologies, Dylan. My name is Adrian, pleased to make your acquaintance." There was something both earnest and teasing in Adrian's expression—a mix of sincerity and subtle humor that endeared him even more to Dylan.

As they talked, hours passed without notice, and soon enough, it was already late afternoon. Dylan glanced at his watch, realizing he needed to head home to prepare for work tomorrow. Reluctantly, he stood up from his seat, thanking Adrian profusely for the delightful conversation. "It was truly wonderful speaking with you, Adrian. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow."

Adrian grinned broadly, waving farewell as Dylan left the cozy confines of the coffee shop. Outside, the sun cast long shadows across the sidewalk, painting the world in golden tones. Dylan took a deep breath, savoring the last lingering traces of autumn in the crisp air.

As he walked briskly along the streets, his thoughts drifted back to Adrian.

Although he wasn't entirely sure why, he felt a growing anticipation for their planned rendezvous. Maybe it was merely because Adrian had piqued his interest with his diverse range of topics, his ability to hold a conversation effortlessly, or the undeniably strong connection they shared. Whatever the reason, he knew it wouldn't hurt to spend more time getting to know him. The prospect of discovering more about this eloquent stranger appealed greatly to Dylan, offering the promise of adventure and companionship he so desperately sought.

Reaching the corner near his apartment building, he slowed his pace, relishing the last few minutes spent daydreaming about Adrian. Climbing the stairs leading to his modest abode, he mentally prepared himself for another night spent alone, indulging in the memories of their remarkable conversation. Yet no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't suppress the anticipation brewing within him for their rendezvous later on.

Arriving at his doorstep, Dylan slipped his key into the lock, opening it to find a surprising silence greeting him.

Typically, he expected to be welcomed by the humming noise of his refrigerator or the low murmur of his television from the living room. However, today, nothing stirred within his apartment save for the ticking clock on his bedroom wall. Glancing down at his phone, he saw that it was well past midnight. Thoughts of Adrian danced through his mind once more, igniting a mixture of nervous anticipation and sheer excitement.

Pushing aside his unease, Dylan decided to settle down for the night.

His anticipation for their date grew stronger, filling him with eagerness for what lay ahead. Before retiring to sleep, however, he reached for his laptop, pulling up Google Maps to double-check the directions to the library. Scrolling through the map, he noted several landmarks and familiar roads, memorizing them in case he got lost along the way. Satisfied with his preparations, he powered down his computer, ready to rest and dream of Adrian until morning arrived.

Morning broke bright and clear, promising a beautiful day ahead.

Dylan awoke early, showered, dressed sharply, and proceeded to put on a layer of cologne, hoping to impress Adrian. Leaving his apartment, he took stock of his surroundings – it appeared that the entire city was alive with activity. People were streaming towards business districts, catching public transportation, and going about their daily routine. On the horizon, the library tower loomed majestic against the blue sky, standing tall as a symbol of education and wisdom. With a surge of determination, Dylan hastened his steps towards their appointed destination.

Along the journey, he admired the grand architecture adorned in various styles, reflecting the city's history. The bustling urban landscape buzzed with energy and purpose, inspiring optimism within him. As he approached the imposing stone edifice known as the university library, he noticed a figure lounging idly against the pillar, a pair of slender legs crossed neatly. Recognition dawned upon him immediately, for this must indeed be Adrian. He strode forward with confidence, eager to embrace this unique experience awaiting him.

As he drew closer, he observed Adrian watching passersby intently, a slight smile playing on his lips as if silently musing over human nature. Greeted by an amiable grin, Dylan extended his hand in introduction, "Hello there, Adrian!"

Smiling warmly, Adrian accepted the gesture, gripping firmly as they shook hands. "Good morning, Dylan! It's nice to finally meet you properly." Their palms remained locked for a moment longer than necessary, holding onto each other's gaze with mutual curiosity. "Thank you for agreeing to meet here," Dylan began, breaking the spell.

Adrian returned his attention to the surrounding environment, gesturing expansively, "Not at all, dear friend! These environs serve as a perfect setting for our little tête-à-tête.

Dylan commented, looking around appreciatively. The library, situated amidst ancient trees and serene courtyards, boasted an atmosphere ripe for intellectual exploration. As they entered, their footsteps echoed off the high ceilings adorned with ornate chandeliers. Books lined countless shelves, forming seemingly endless rows of knowledge. The smell of old paper and leather bound volumes permeated the air, imbuing the space with an almost magical quality.

Dylan led the way to the main entrance, allowing the coolness of the interior to sweep away the lingering heat of the outdoors. Together, they navigated the sprawling labyrinth of shelved literature, choosing works that caught their eye along the way. From philosophy to poetry, fiction to psychology, the breadth of subjects tantalized their imaginations, sparking animated debates and discussions.

Over hours, they covered everything from the existential crisis of modern man to the role of technology in contemporary culture. While most people would consider such discourse banal, it provided solace for two individuals starving for meaningful connections.

Their minds fed, bodies craved sustenance; thus, the duo ventured forth to explore food options available within the vicinity. Upon entering a quaint eatery nearby, they found themselves absorbed by its rustic charm, complete with weathered wood floors and warm lighting illuminating exposed brickwork.

A comforting aroma of freshly ground coffee swirled in the air, adding a pleasant touch to the ambiance. Seated together at a table, they browsed the menu while sipping steaming cups of rich espresso. Engrossed in discussion about the impact of social media on personal identity, they ordered dishes reflecting their contrasting culinary preferences - Dylan opted for a hearty vegetarian soup accompanied by whole wheat crackers, whereas Adrian chose a platter featuring juicy burgers served alongside crunchy fries.

Both settled into comfortable positions, leaning slightly toward one another to better understand the nuances of every point made during their debate.

In between bites, they occasionally paused to glance at each other, sharing moments of understanding that transcended the mundane. For Dylan, it was a revelatory encounter, unveiling layers previously concealed beneath his polished exterior. In turn, Adrian in depth he just laugh inside, how his prey follow his guide.

No emotion, no attachment. Just games, toying like puppet master with strings. After dinner, walking together back to Dylan’s place, a soft drizzle started falling from gray skies above, creating a romantic atmosphere. Hand in hand, the couple strolled under the canopy of trees surrounding the charming neighborhood, feeling at ease, not quite knowing what brought them here tonight, yet strangely connected despite their differences.

Back at Dylan's place, the sensuous vibe continued to intensify.

Chapter 2

As the rain pelted against the windowpane outside, Dylan's skin tingled with awareness and arousal. This was his first time hosting someone at his home, let alone inviting a mysterious stranger. Despite his nerves, the sexual chemistry between them had grown increasingly intense since they left the restaurant earlier that evening. Now, sitting close enough to feel the warmth radiating from Adrian's body, Dylan struggled to maintain composure. How could something so wrong be so right?

Dylan wondered, brushing a tendril of hair behind his ear. His breath hitched when Adrian leaned closer, placing a gentle kiss on his cheekbone, followed by a whispered endearing remark. The warmth of Adrian's lips against his sensitive skin sent tremors through Dylan's core, making him weak in the knees. Unbeknownst to either party, the intensity of their connection seemed destined to spiral further beyond control.

Slowly, tender fingers caressed Dylan's face, eliciting involuntary moans from deep within his throat. As Adrian pressed closer still, their mouths sought one another, hungry for release. Lips entwined passionately, tongues tangled in a dance only heightening the desire coursing through both veins. Emboldened by this newfound freedom, they shifted closer still—their combined strength now a driving force.

Fingers deftly undid buttons and zippers, yielding smooth, bare flesh teasingly revealed. Each subtle motion spoke volumes about the hunger building between them. Gasping, they pulled apart briefly, drawing a line of saliva between their mouths. Drenched in raw, animalistic lust, Dylan surrendered himself fully to the unknown, trusting blindly in Adrian's expertise.

"Oh God, I want you..." he breathed, voice wavering as he succumbed entirely to his desires.

Adrian smiled, nodding encouragement, pressing deeper kisses down Dylan's neck until reaching the valley between his shoulder blades. He ran his tongue slowly across the skin, causing goosebumps to rise in response.

Moans escaped Dylan's lips involuntarily as the pleasure coursed through his body. Unable to hold back any longer, he reached out, grasping Adrian tightly. They both fell to the floor in sheer ecstasy, losing themselves completely in each other's arms.

Dylan clung tightly to Adrian, feeling like he was floating, carried away by the waves of pleasure crashing over him. He felt tears streaming down his face, but whether they were born of joy or sorrow, he couldn't tell. All he knew was that this was unlike anything he had ever experienced before.

Lost in the moment, Dylan hardly realized where they were anymore – trapped in a vortex of desire and oblivion. Adrian too was consumed by their shared passion, relishing in the fact that he held total sway over his prey.

His powerful frame moved confidently with grace, every movement calculated to evoke pure delight. Shifting between delicate and aggressive caresses, he ensnared Dylan even further into his web of intrigue. There was no question, no doubt; nothing mattered except giving and receiving pleasure, immersing themselves in the eroticism that enveloped them.

With renewed vigor, Dylan grabbed onto Adrian's head, pulling him closer for a scorching kiss that ignited flames within his very soul.

Adrian reciprocated eagerly, devouring Dylan's lips greedily, showing no signs of restraint. Their lips danced wildly, their teeth clicking in harmony, fueling the fire raging between them.

As if lost in the euphoria of this moment, neither thought of consequences nor stopped to ask questions about each other's past. It was as though the world outside did not exist, as their passions became intertwined, merging inextricably with one another.

Sweaty palms met feverish skin, sending jolts of electricity surging through both bodies. Nails scratched gently against muscular shoulders, marking their claim upon one another. Every fiber of being yearned to consume the other wholly, driven by an insatiable appetite for fulfillment.

Breathing heavily, Dylan began to rock back and forth, grinding his groin against Adrian's. Their rhythm matched perfectly, pushing them both towards the edge of ecstasy.

Feeling powerless yet utterly satisfied by Adrian's dominance, Dylan closed his eyes, embracing the sensation sweeping through his entire being. His hands wandered upwards along Adrian's sculpted torso, marveling at the hard planes of his abdomen and the play of muscles flexing beneath his palm.

The room echoed with the sounds of wet, passionate gasps mixed with low, husky murmurs. Adrian, ever in control, took charge of guiding their fervent exploration of one another's bodies. With firm hands, he traced exquisite patterns on Dylan's chest, making sure to pay attention to those sensitive areas that drove him wild. Meanwhile, Dylan allowed himself to simply indulge in the pleasure, allowing Adrian to dictate the pace and intensity of their encounter.

After a while of resting in each other arms. Adrian slip off the bed.

He stood facing Dylan, looking deeply into his eyes. "Stay strong," he said quietly, before turning around, removing his clothes piece by piece. His body gleamed with well-defined muscle, evidence of his dedication to fitness. Stripped down to just briefs, he returned to stand beside Dylan, offering him a glass of water. Dylan drained the glass, then set it aside. Closing his eyes, he listened intently to the beat of his own pulse. When he opened them again, Adrian was already waiting expectantly.

His gaze bore into Dylan, conveying a sense of possessiveness that both frightened and excited him.

Desire burned hotter than ever before as Adrian slowly approached Dylan, his movements impossibly fluid. Taking care not to disturb the sheets, he crawled seductively over Dylan's prone form, slithering his way up the contours of his partner's muscular physique.

His hands caressed and massaged every curve, honoring each dip and swell of Dylan's flesh. His touch was slow and deliberate, setting a tantalizing tempo that made Dylan's heart race faster.

With growing excitement, Dylan raised his arms, welcoming Adrian closer. As their skin touched, sparks flew once more, reigniting the fires of desire within them both. Dylan threw caution to the wind, opening himself up completely to whatever lay ahead.

But thing not go as Dylan thought, Adrian both hands was draw on his skin, form the chest up to his bare neck. then his touch turn to warp... his hand warp around Dylan's neck. the warp just tight and tighten until it's grip of death.

Forgetting all the lustful moments they enjoyed earlier, fear flooded Dylan's system, numbing everything else - including reason. His heart raced frantically, trying to break free from what he perceived as impending doom. In a panicked bid to escape, he tried to push Adrian away, flailing helplessly under his suffocating grasp. But Adrian remained unfazed, holding on tighter, his face unreadable as his sinister intent grew clearer by the second.

Time seemed to slow down, each tick of the clock becoming deafeningly loud in Dylan's ears. Panic seized him as comprehension dawned upon him. No, this wasn't supposed to happen! He wanted to scream, but his vocal cords refused to cooperate.

A wave of anger coursed through Dylan as adrenaline fueled his determination to fight back. Summoning every ounce of energy he possessed, he attempted to buck against Adrian's iron grip. But his efforts proved futile as his struggling was easily quashed.

Feeling hopeless and desperate, he looked directly into Adrian's penetrating stare. Something cold and dangerous radiated from Adrian’s gaze, almost as if he could see right through Dylan’s very soul. Paralyzed by terror, he found himself unable to look away from the piercing blue eyes of his captor. Dylan struggled to process the sudden change in circumstances, torn between horror and disbelief. How could things take such a drastic turn? Where had it gone wrong?

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

11th October >> Mass Readings (USA)

Wednesday, Twenty Seventh Week in Ordinary Time 

or

Pope Saint John XXIII.

Wednesday, Twenty Seventh Week in Ordinary Time 

(Liturgical Colour: Green: A (1))

First Reading Jonah 4:1-11 You are concerned over a plant. And should I not be concerned over Nineveh, the great city?

Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry that God did not carry out the evil he threatened against Nineveh. He prayed, “I beseech you, LORD, is not this what I said while I was still in my own country? This is why I fled at first to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and merciful God, slow to anger, rich in clemency, loathe to punish. And now, LORD, please take my life from me; for it is better for me to die than to live.” But the LORD asked, “Have you reason to be angry?”

Jonah then left the city for a place to the east of it, where he built himself a hut and waited under it in the shade, to see what would happen to the city. And when the LORD God provided a gourd plant that grew up over Jonah’s head, giving shade that relieved him of any discomfort, Jonah was very happy over the plant. But the next morning at dawn God sent a worm that attacked the plant, so that it withered. And when the sun arose, God sent a burning east wind; and the sun beat upon Jonah’s head till he became faint. Then Jonah asked for death, saying, “I would be better off dead than alive.” But God said to Jonah, “Have you reason to be angry over the plant?” “I have reason to be angry,” Jonah answered, “angry enough to die.” Then the LORD said, “You are concerned over the plant which cost you no labor and which you did not raise; it came up in one night and in one night it perished. And should I not be concerned over Nineveh, the great city, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand persons who cannot distinguish their right hand from their left, not to mention the many cattle?”

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 86:3-4, 5-6, 9-10

R/ Lord, you are merciful and gracious.

Have mercy on me, O Lord, for to you I call all the day. Gladden the soul of your servant, for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.

R/ Lord, you are merciful and gracious.

For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in kindness to all who call upon you. Hearken, O LORD, to my prayer and attend to the sound of my pleading.

R/ Lord, you are merciful and gracious.

All the nations you have made shall come and worship you, O Lord, and glorify your name. For you are great, and you do wondrous deeds; you alone are God.

R/ Lord, you are merciful and gracious.

Gospel Acclamation Romans 8:15bc

Alleluia, alleluia. You have received a spirit of adoption as sons through which we cry: Abba! Father! Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel Luke 11:1-4 Lord, teach us to pray.

Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he had finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray just as John taught his disciples.” He said to them, “When you pray, say:

Father, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread and forgive us our sins for we ourselves forgive everyone in debt to us, and do not subject us to the final test.”

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

----------------------------

Pope Saint John XXIII  

(Liturgical Colour: White: A (1))

(Readings for the memorial)

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Wednesday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

First reading Ezekiel 34:11-16 As a shepherd tends his flock so will I tend my sheep.

Thus says the Lord GOD: I myself will look after and tend my sheep. As a shepherd tends his flock when he finds himself among his scattered sheep, so will I tend my sheep. I will rescue them from every place where they were scattered when it was cloudy and dark. I will lead them out from among the peoples and gather them from the foreign lands; I will bring them back to their own country and pasture them upon the mountains of Israel in the land’s ravines and all its inhabited places. In good pastures will I pasture them, and on the mountain heights of Israel shall be their grazing ground. There they shall lie down on good grazing ground, and in rich pastures shall they be pastured on the mountains of Israel. I myself will pasture my sheep; I myself will give them rest, says the Lord GOD. The lost I will seek out, the strayed I will bring back, the injured I will bind up, the sick I will heal, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy, shepherding them rightly.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 23:1-3a, 4, 5, 6

R/ The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. In verdant pastures he gives me repose; Beside restful waters he leads me; he refreshes my soul.

R/ The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.

Even though I walk in the dark valley I fear no evil; for you are at my side With your rod and your staff that give me courage.

R/ The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.

You spread the table before me in the sight of my foes; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

R/ The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.

Only goodness and kindness follow me all the days of my life; And I shall dwell in the house of the LORD for years to come.

R/ The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.

Gospel Acclamation Matthew 23:9b, 10b

Alleluia, alleluia. You have but one Father in heaven; you have but one master, the Christ! Alleluia, alleluia.

Or: Matthew 28:19a, 20bc

Alleluia, alleluia. Go, and teach all nations, says the Lord; I am with you always, until the end of the world. Alleluia, alleluia.

Or: Mark 1:17

Alleluia, alleluia. Come after me, says the Lord, and I will make you fishers of men. Alleluia, alleluia.

Or: Luke 4:18

Alleluia, alleluia. The Lord sent me to bring glad tidings to the poor and to proclaim liberty to captives. Alleluia, alleluia.

Or: John 10:14

Alleluia, alleluia. I am the good shepherd, says the Lord; I know my sheep, and mine know me. Alleluia, alleluia.

Or: John 15:5

Alleluia, alleluia. I am the vine, you are the branches, says the Lord: whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit. Alleluia, alleluia.

Or: John 15:15b

Alleluia, alleluia. I call you my friends, says the Lord, for I have made known to you all that the Father has told me. Alleluia, alleluia.

Or: 2 Corinthians 5:19

Alleluia, alleluia. God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel John 21:15-17 Feed my lambs, feed my sheep.

After Jesus had revealed himself to his disciples and eaten breakfast with them, he said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” Simon Peter answered him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He then said to Simon Peter a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Simon Peter answered him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was distressed that he had said to him a third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.”

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[vinceleemiller]

Bearing the Weight Leadership and Responsibility | 1 Samuel 22:20-23

Leaders bear the responsibility for their decisions.

Welcome to the Daily Devo. I am Vince Miller.

This week, we are in Chapter 22 of 1 Samuel. I've titled this chapter "From Caves Of Distress To Community Connections."

Yesterday, Doeg slaughtered the entire priestly line of Ahimelech. But today, we learn one priest escapes. Let's find out who that is in 1 Samuel 22:20-23:

But one of the sons of Ahimelech the son of Ahitub, named Abiathar, escaped and fled after David. And Abiathar told David that Saul had killed the priests of the Lord. And David said to Abiathar, "I knew on that day, when Doeg the Edomite was there, that he would surely tell Saul. I have occasioned the death of all the persons of your father's house. Stay with me; do not be afraid, for he who seeks my life seeks your life. With me you shall be in safekeeping." — 1 Samuel 22:20-23

Abiathar is the sole heir of Eli's house, who remains according to the prophecy in Chapter 2. If you can remember, about 20 weeks ago, when we began this series, there was a man of God who prophecied against Eli because of his wicked sons, and he said:

Only one of you whom I shall not cut off from my altar shall be spared to weep his eyes out to grieve his heart, and all the descendants of your house shall die by the sword of men. — 1 Samuel 2:33

That prophecy has come true for Abiathar, the final heir of Eli.

But notice two details. First, Abiathar does not cast any blame on David for what has happened to his father or his entire family. He comes in peace, seeking refuge. David provides refuge for him for all the days of his life and will be a high priest in his empire. Second, even though Abiathar doesn't blame David, David takes full responsibility for the events that led to his family's death. This is quite the comparison to Saul, who takes no responsibility at all.

Great leaders take responsibility for their actions and inaction and the impact they have on others, no matter how big or small. This is a fundamental principle of leadership.

Today, I want to encourage you to take a moment to reflect on your leadership roles. Carefully consider any areas where you may need to start taking responsibility for your actions or inaction. Bear the weight of your leadership responsibility. Then, share your conviction with the people you lead and make the commitment to step up as a leader and provide the leadership they need.

#LeadershipResponsibility, #AccountabilityInFaith, #FaithfulLeadership

Ask This:

In what areas of your leadership—whether at work, community, or home—do you need to take more responsibility for your actions and their impact on others?

How can you create an environment of openness and accountability within your team or community, encouraging others to also take ownership of their roles?

Do This:

Take responsibility in one area of leadership this week.

Pray This:

Father, help me to embrace my leadership responsibilities with humility and courage, acknowledging the impact of my actions on those I lead. Grant me the wisdom to create a culture of accountability where we can support one another in our journeys of growth and service. Amen.

Play This:

I Have Decided.

Check out this episode!

[destinyimage]

Accessing God’s Presence: Praying Through Psalm 23

Because You are my Shepherd I commit my needs to You.

Provide green pasture for me to rest in,

And still waters to quench my thirst.

Restore my soul when I am empty,

And lead me in right paths for Your name’s sake.

Be with me in danger when I walk

Through the valley of the shadow of death.

Deliver me from evil,

And protect me with Your rod and staff.

Prepare a table to feed me.

So my enemies can see Your provision.

Anoint me with the oil of Your healing,

Let me drink from the full cup of Your provision.

Surely goodness and mercy will always follow me,

And I will live with You forever (Psalm 23 ELT).

When the Lord is Your Shepherd

A Sunday school teacher visited a young boy from his class who was dying. “What hope can I give him?” the frustrated teacher thought. He didn’t know what to say to the boy, because he didn’t know how to prepare a young soul to die. Toward the end of his visit, the teacher reminded the young boy, “Remember, the Lord is your Shepherd.”

Then to make it practical so the boy would remember the lesson, the teacher asked the little boy to hold up five fingers. Pointing to each of the five fingers, the teacher repeated the five words that begin Psalm 23, “The Lord is my Shepherd.” Then the teacher asked the boy to repeat the phrase, touching each finger as he said the corresponding word. When the little boy counted to the ring finger—the fourth finger—he grabbed his chubby finger with his other hand repeating, “My. My Shepherd. The Lord is my Shepherd.”

The next morning the little boy didn’t wake up; he was asleep in Jesus. The parents found his chubby hand still holding the fourth ring finger. Truly in death, the Lord was his Shepherd.

The Lord is my Shepherd;

I shall not want (Psalm 23:1 NKJV).

When you say, “my Shepherd,” you are admitting that you are a sheep, or at least you act like a sheep and have the needs of a sheep. If you have the characteristics of a sheep, your biggest need is a shepherd, because sheep can’t make it in life without someone to lead them, protect them, and care for them. Lord, I need You.

What kind of shepherd would you choose if the choice were up to you? Obviously, sheep don’t choose their shepherd, but let’s just take a couple of minutes to play what if. Now you are a sheep, what if you could choose a shepherd? Tell me, what kind of shepherd would you pick? Before you do that, let me tell you what you shouldn’t choose.

Your shepherd shouldn’t be like a businessman; he’d want to make a profit off you. Your shepherd shouldn’t be like an army sergeant; he’d want to lead you into battle. Your shepherd shouldn’t be like a coach; he’d want you to win the game. Also, you wouldn’t even want a king; he’d rule you.

None of these! You’d want a personal shepherd who loved you, not one who made money off you. And you’d want a shepherd who would protect you, not one who’d get you killed in battle. You would choose a shepherd who knew what you liked to eat, where you liked to go, and who knew how to care for you when you were sick. He’d know how to protect you from parasites, predators, and poison weeds. You’d choose a shepherd who would find comfortable places for you to sleep. If you got lost, you’d choose a shepherd who was brave and unselfish; he’d come looking for you. Lord, I’m glad You first chose me.

Isn’t it good to know that you don’t have a choice, but the Shepherd chooses you? When you say, “my Shepherd,” you’re not just telling everyone that the Lord is your personal Shepherd, but you’re saying more than that. You’re telling everyone you belong to the Shepherd who owns everything. He’s “the Lord,” and what does the Lord own? Everything! Your Shepherd is really big in this world, He owns it all. Your Shepherd owns everything because He created it all—everything. So you shouldn’t worry about anything. Lord, I want to be Your sheep.

Are you in a hot, sweltering desert? He created the burning deserts as well as the cool, shaded pastures with crystal clear water. He knows where everything is located, and He can lead you to relief without looking at a map. Lord, I need some water.

Are you lost in a black valley and you see a death shadow behind a rock? You may not know where you are, but He knows. You’re not lost to Him; He knows where you are in the valley because He created the valley. You can’t even get lost in the dark night because the Lord even says, “I created darkness” (see Isaiah 45:7). You may have lost your way, but not the Lord. So take heart; help’s coming. Come quickly, Lord.

Even after falling into a hole, you think no one in this world knows the trouble you’re in. You’re miserable in the hole because you think no one can help you—not your mother, not your buddy, not your spouse, not even a pastor. You’re discouraged because the Lord is sitting on a throne up there in Heaven and you’re mired in a hole. Wrong! Your Shepherd is the Omnipresent Lord. He may be overseeing Heaven, but He’s also beside you in the hole. “Thou art with me.” You’ve got a Shepherd who is everywhere present at the same time, and best of all, “the Lord is your Shepherd.” Hello, Lord, I didn’t see You standing there.

When the Shepherd brings you home, He doesn’t leave you outside the door; He doesn’t spank you, nor does He send you to bed without your supper. Your Shepherd treats you better than you deserve, better than you expected. Because the Lord is good, your Shepherd is good to you. He loves you when you’re good; He loves you when you stray from Him. Because God is love, He will always love you. And Lord, I love You.

You’ve got a wonderful Shepherd; do you know His name? Because a person’s name usually tells something about them, you ought to know your Shepherd’s name. Why? So you can know Him better.

Your Shepherd’s name is Immanuel, which means “God with us.” He is not just the Lord high and exalted in Heaven. The Bible promises, “Unto us a child is given. Call his name Immanuel” (see Isaiah 9:6). Your Shepherd was conceived in a young virgin girl and born in the lowly stable where animals were kept, including sheep like you. His crib was a feeding trough for animals and sheep like you. He was confined to live in a human body, and He never once sinned. He got hungry, thirsty, and became so tired He fell asleep in the bow of a boat. Some ask how would God act if He became a man? Look at Immanuel, He is “God with us.” Lord, thank You for coming to show me how You would live in the flesh.

Your Shepherd’s name is Redeemer. When you landed in the pawnshop of sin, your Shepherd walked in with the pawn ticket to pay the redemptive price to release you. The Bible says, “You were redeemed with the precious blood of Christ” (see 1 Peter 1:18-19). Lord, I’m glad Your blood paid the price of my sin.

Your Shepherd’s name is Deliverer. Because you disobeyed God’s laws, you were heading for punishment. You were heading for hell. What did your Shepherd do? He went after you and the Bible says He “delivered us from so great a death” (2 Corinthians 1:10 NKJV). Lord, I’m glad You delivered me from hell.

Your Shepherd’s name is Savior. Because the Bible says, “All have sinned,” this included you. Because the Bible says, “The wages of sin is death,” you were lost with no hope, but your Savior reached His hand way down to save you from sin. “The Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world” (1 John 4:14 NKJV). Lord, I’m glad You’re still saving people, including me.

“Hello, God, it’s me!”

Talking to God immerses you into a new experience as you are covered over with a rich, deep tapestry, like the most beautiful woven cloth, of the vast expressions of our human need for God. The psalms express exuberant praise, worship, and adoration, but also deep guilt, anxiety, and fears. The psalms expose the happy times when we are bursting with joy, and sad times when we are crushed and can’t go on.

Every word in the Bible is Spirit-inspired, so each word in each psalm is given to us by God, greatly enriching our spiritual depth and breadth, and learning from the psalmist how to:

Wait for God

Hope in God

Pray to God

Trust in God

Serve God

Obey God

Do His will

The ten psalms explored throughout Talking to God: Psalm 23, In God’s Presence; Psalm 1, Two Ways to Live; Psalm 51, A Cry for Mercy; Psalm 84, Praying to Enjoy God’s Presence; Psalm 90, Praying Through Life’s Struggles; Psalm 100, Rejoicing as You Enter God’s Presence; Psalm 102:1-17, Praying When Overwhelmed with Grief; Psalm 137, Praying, Crying, Singing, Dreaming; Psalm 139, Thanksgiving for God’s Presence; and Psalm 116, Rejoicing in God’s Mercy.

As you read and sing and repeat the words and music of each psalm, you discover God’s presence speaking to you, singing to you. You find yourself listening for and hearing from your heavenly Father. The ultimate result of Talking to God through psalms is enjoying intimacy with Him.

[journeythroughbible]

Redraw the map!! Vote NO on Measure 17-116

PART 1 - The start of this BLOG on Measure 17-116

Based on the law and statements from the Clerk and supporters, the map was drawn with bias and incorrectly. Unfortunately, they claim the map cannot be redrawn, and that alone should be justification for voting NO on this Measure. The following was said to be why each district has half the population residing in Grants Pass:

The districting was following the State Directive 2021-1. CLICK HERE FOR THE ACTUAL TEXT

Used Census data to form district lines

It was created by the GIS manager with input from the state

The Measure does not indicate there needs to be rural/urban differentiation

It is supposed to be better as GP would not want to lose 1/4 of its funding (I will not address this as every seat will be biased towards GP, and a quorum at 3 makes this invalid)

The State Directive 2021-1 was violated 7 times and did not honor the spirit of the Directive “to promote uniform and consistent application of traditional districting principles.” The following in State Directive 2021-1 states, “When drawing or altering precinct boundaries, county clerks shall, as nearly as practicable, contain precincts wholly within one state House district and one Congressional district, and must seek to minimize the change to current precincts.” The Oregon House Districts in Josephine County have House Districts 3 and 4, and the Commissioner Districts 1, 2, and 4 cross these boundaries in conflict with the Directive. Also, they have split 4 precincts (19, 21, 38, and 44) in conflict with the Directive.

The State Directive 2021-1 also states, “No district shall be drawn for the purpose of diluting the voting strength of any language or ethnic minority group.” One could argue that since most of the indigenous population lives in Josephine County’s rural areas, 50% of the population in each district comes from “urban” areas, therefore “diluting the voting strength” of this ethnic minority group.

The State Directive 2021-1 also states, “No district shall be drawn for the purpose of favoring any political party, incumbent elected official or other person.” Will UPDATE once I analyze the Registration Data.

The State Directive 2021-1 also states, “Redistricting shall be completed with enough time for all candidates to file to appear on the ballot for all offices, including new or reapportioned districts. If events necessitate an update to this Directive, further information will be provided.” I believe that since the petition to get this on the ballot did not have the map yet, and it appeared in time for the Vote Pamphlet, it makes me believe this was not honored. Since this Directive is poorly written and vague (specifically the wording “enough time”), one cannot determine its validity. I would say that the CRG did not publicize this map on purpose.

Because of these points alone, the map needs to be redrawn, therefore, this Measure should be voted down, SO VOTE NO!! So, not to be a “Negative Nancy,” below is a suggestion on new districting that only violates State Directive 2021-1 once, since the population in State House  District 4 that resides in Josephine County does not have the population to be close to ¼ of the count’s population. Also, a “qualifier” is that I do not have the full population information used to draw the current district boundaries (NOTE: I asked the Clerk to provide this for total accuracy on my “redistricting”). Jane S provided a Precinct Voter Registration Spreadsheet I used, assuming even distribution of non-registered residents across the Precinct boundaries.

To honor State Directive 2021-1 for laying out Voting Districts within a county. (CLICK HERE FOR THE ACTAUL MAP TO SEE THE DISTRICTS - TURN ON LAYER FOR STATE HOUSE DISTRICTS)

D1 (Rural) would consist of 14, 19, 26, 28, 30, 31, 33, 34, 36, 37, 38, 40, 44, and 46 (to get more population in D4, Precinct 36 was moved to D4 and crosses Oregon House District 4 and honors the vague wording in the State Directive 2021-1)

D2 (Urban) would consist of 1, 2, 6, 7, 12, 15, 16, 17, and 18

D3 (Urban) would consist of 3, 4, 5, 8, 9, 10, 11, 13, 24 and 47

D4 (Rural) would consist of 20, 21, 22, 23, 25, 27, 32, 35, 39, 41, 42, 43, and 45

PART 1 of this Series