#I said ‘isn’t that the song from stranger things’ once about Master of Puppets

[bread-that-draws]

I grew up with exclusively country music and only knew of other songs via them appearing in kids movies. But I only know them by the kids movie and not by name. So I’ve just started referring to them by the movie. So yesterday I overheard that song from Megamind coming through my classmates speakers. And I was like hey man is that that song from Megamind it’s a real banger. And he looked at me like this

[thekidultlife]

The Most Convenient Escape | Jihoon Soulmate! AU (1)

⍟ Pairing: Jihoon x fem!reader

⍟ AU: Fantasy/ Soulmate AU

⍟ Genre: ANGST, SLOW BURN, fluff

⍟ Warnings: swearing, mentions of abuse, drinking, and sex

⍟ Word Count: 4.5k

⍟ Synopsis: For all your life, you have a deep disdain towards Soulmate Bonds, so much so that you are able to writeopinions about it in a local newspaper. However, as life would have it, you wake up one day bonded to a person you hardly knew. Throwing in an investigation, annoying roommates, and a revolution looming just beneath the surface, you had to seek for the most convenient escape.

CHAP 1 | CHAP 2 | CHAP 3 | CHAP 4 | CHAP 5 |  CHAP 6 |

AN OPINION ON THE SOULMATE BOND by Alex Fireflower

The Porta Persa Edition, August 17

If the appeal of romance and the idea that a person whose devotion to us shall surpass eternity exists in our midst, among the younger generations, if there was any doubt in this matter, then the recent excitement for the coming Soulmate Bonding Ceremony is its colorful illustration. Alas, our dear friends of the State! It is once again time for the great and olden tradition of Soulmate Bonding. Here in this land of abundance and prosperity which gifts are said to be owed to this venerable ceremony, we must lay upon our trust and our fate to ancient magic, which we wholly believe shall lead our hearts to our destined soulmate--our lifetime partner, the other half of our soul, and so on. 

Yet our dear readers, allow this humble editor to argue the opposite. 

 It is established that the magic of Soulmate Bonding allows two persons, at most random strangers, to be paired together for a lifetime; sharing either emotions, thoughts or senses. Such a practice has always been placed under a rose-colored light by the government which, if simplified in broad terms is, in our opinion, a blatant propaganda for an obsolete tradition which endangers the wellbeing of our citizens, a practice which limits responsibility and free will, core values of which this land has been founded upon.

 If we shall suppose that a relationship between soulmates is perfect and blessed upon by the great heavens, then cases of arguments and cases of abuses would not exist as pests of our society, the destroyer of families and the trauma of children. If soulmate relationships are the pinnacle of success in family life, then divorce laws do not have any purpose to exist in our civil code, as custody battles do not have a place in our respectable courts. We are all blinded by the garish lighting provided by this dictatorship; through their flowery and romanticised propaganda we hear in the radios everyday as we sit down for breakfast or as we enjoy our pudding after dinner. This poor excuse of a government which has deceived its own people, seeks absolute authority through the most invasive ways known to man, inside the most intimate partnership a human being could experience in their entire life.

 By consuming this tomfoolery, we become puppets to romance, to impossible dreams, thus vulnerable to the mandates of this dictatorship. It is said that men, whose eyes are set high above the heavens, are doomed to fall off the cliff’s edge. There ought to be balance between idealism and pragmatism, lest we suffer the consequences of our own torn expectations of a perfect relationship and a good life. By relinquishing our right to choose, to exercise free will, we then must forget our roles as individuals, solely responsible for the effects of our choices. We then shall blame it on neutral magic, on fate and the Universe, the mistakes of our own doing. Aye indeed, let us ought to create the most convenient escape from our own flaws and our indecisiveness. Let us forever be destined to depend our lives upon the forces of the Universe, upon accidents of Nature!...

You smelled like ink. 

 The ugly, artificial scent of a printing press; ink. You had it on your hands as well, catching a freshly pressed newspaper as the midnight breeze blew upon a stack by the window. It was late yet the machine kept whirring, pressing, printing as piles of paper grew into hills and mountains of South Porta Persa.

 It would truly be unlucky to trip and make a mess of everything right now, you thought, inspecting the warm paper for any misspelt words or misaligned layouts with a careful eye. 

 “Good enough for' ya, darlin’?” A voice deep and rumbling interrupted your close inspection, his tone mischievous and mirthful as he wiped his hands clean on his trusty apron, the metal wrenches on it clattering about.

 It was good ole’ Jupiter, the ruler of the mechanical movable type in grand Porta Persa, a man late in his forties with a receding hairline to match. You had always liked him since you were a child, in his long beard and ink stained hands, and his various adventures at sea in his large Galleon. Yet now he is a master of the press, and you were his client.

 Giving a satisfied smile, you shrugged, placing the newspaper on top a stack without minding. 

 "Better than anywhere else, my good Sir," you replied, a trace of a laugh hinting to escape. "Nowhere I can trust The Porta Persa Edition to anyone other than in your expert hands." 

 He chuckled, his belly rumbling; just as anyone named 'Jupiter' should be. "Then I'm honered lass! As I'm honored to be Alex Fireflower's avid reader!" 

 "Oh stop flattering me," you chuckled, patting his shoulder. "Ah, it seems quite late now, isn't it? I better go." 

 Jupiter nodded. "Aye lass, you're movin' to the Academy tomorrow, innit? Ya should hurry home now before anyone catches ya!" 

 "Aye, captain!" You replied in a singsong voice, quickly moving to the exit. "Oh and please tell Soonyoung, if he comes over later in the morning that I need help with the bags! Thanks, Jupiter! May Jove kiss you on the asscheeks!"

 Kissing his cheek goodbye, you bounced down the stairs as you heard him bark in laughter and raced back to the home you have been staying since you were a child. Even as a daughter of the city alchemist, you lived humbly with your father in a two-story house with a style akin to stale bread. Yet he was usually absent, either in the homes of the sick or in some faraway place hunting ingredients for his potions. It didn't matter to you anyway. 

 Snuck behind the back door, you eventually reached your room and lit a gaslamp on your otherwise messy desk full of paper and books. It never gets cleaned up in some way or another, you thought.

 Sitting on your bed, you watched the glittering lights of Porta Persa at midnight, wondering if Alex Fireflower's words in that widely popular newspaper would lit a fire in people's hearts. Despite your young age, being a writer in a prolific paper was anxiety inducing, knowing how much words could stir up a person's sentiments.

 From afar, you could hear a faint melody of a love song between lovers, soulmates. A concept you disdainfully look down upon, if your writings were any indication to that. The bonding ceremony never sat well with you. You never understood those who excitedly and eagerly surrender their life to the whims of coincidence and then live to become happy. It was either a pretense or an 'anyone will do' type of situation. 

"Oh, isn't the ceremony later in the morning?" You remarked, peaking at the calendar on your desk. You shrugged. 

In any case, you have been prepared to deny this unwelcome intruder. It took a while to research but there were ways to suppress the connection between soulmates, mostly elaborate spellwork and potions. Yet you have been ready for years, almost a decade: casting spell upon spell on yourself and drinking disgusting potions, truly glad that you had an alchemist for a father. Now nothing will stand in the way between you and your aspirations. 

Getting a bit sleepy, you snuck in your sleeping gown and laid on the bed. Closing your eyes, and for once, leaving the rest for the Universe's turn in this game of chance. 

The next thing you came to was a dull throb on your head, something akin to a mediocre hangover, and a loud rapping on your front door. It was late in the morning. The birds were chirping, the loud clattering of bustling human activity and Soonyoung’s rather energetic shouting on your front door was grating on your ears. 

You tried to think of any reason why you were particularly not feeling a hundred percent today yet was once again interrupted by Soonyoung calling you out. 

Rolling off your bed however, made everything come crashing down on you. You lurched on the floor, thinking about throwing up yet none came, only your empty coughs and an uncomfortable pressure on your diaphragm were there. Your limbs were weak and trembled as you tried to lift your leg up, inevitably stumbling back to the floor and hitting your back against the bedpost in a painful thud. 

What is this…? 

In your pain, you grit your teeth, unable to utter anything with your dry throat. You tried to massage your temples to alleviate the throbbing, yet that was the exact moment you realized what was actually happening. With eyes as wide as saucers and a heart rate that seemed to increase in great increments, a cold sweat ran down your spine as you saw what was on your wrist. A cynical grin on your lips, you scoffed at the chances.  

 “...dammit,” you squeezed out, glancing at the bracelet-like tattoo around your wrist, in its clear straight horizontal bars and iridescent shine whenever you turned it around. You almost laughed at how ridiculous things were. Your greatest nightmare has happened while you were asleep. A bond has been formed. 

Finally having some sort of clarity, you were suddenly feeling much better, knowing what to do next. Dragging out a chest underneath your bed, you fished out a concoction which would weaken the suppressants you had induced upon yourself over the years. 

This was the side effect, you considered as you took the potion in one swallow. The suppressants would make you feel terribly ill, more so because this was day zero of the bond, but it will effectively block out the connection. On the other hand, you can weaken the blockage, yet it would as well restore the connection between you and your soulmate.

You cringed at the thought, yet there was no other choice. Today was moving day and you knew, without a doubt, that left alone for any longer, Soonyoung would break into your house, worrying something had happened to you. Something  did happen, yet it was none of his concern.  

And speaking of the devil, there he was rushing into your room; panting and sweaty from probably climbing the terrace and into one open window, as you hid your trunk of potions back under the bed. 

“Y/N! “ he  shouted, barging inside and spotted you dusting your lap as you stood up. “You weren’t answering the door, so I--“

“I’m fine,“ you interrupted, sensing energy forming at the base of your stomach as it wells up and stretches into a thin string. Hopefully, the amount of potion you drank was not too strong enough to lower your walls.

You shook your head. “Anyway, can you help me with my stuff? They’re already down the hallway, so we only have to carry them to the terminal.” 

“Oh, sure, sure. But seriously, are you alright?” Soonyoung asked, noting you were more closed off than usual. You only turned your back at him and walked towards your closet. 

“I’m fine, Soonyoung. Don’t worry,” you dismissed him. “Now, could you please allow me to dress myself up?” 

He was quiet for a while but eventually nodded, and left you in your ministrations. Sighing as he closed the door and disappeared, you struggled to keep yourself up. Just by lowering the suppressants, a tidal wave of thoughts barraged inside your head, immediately overwhelming you. They were obviously not yours and now you wondered if this was your connection, and if your soulmate was also thinking what you were thinking at that moment. Before you could arrive at an answer though, the thoughts once again stopped and your mind calmed down. 

You breathed in and out. There was no way you could truly understand what was happening. You can only form conjectures and draw theories yet none of them were absolutely irrefutable. You couldn’t understand why it suddenly stopped, but  nevertheless it was a welcome development. You can finally finish your chores without disturbance.  

As soon as you were done, you went downstairs to look for Soonyoung who seemed to have been waiting at the drawing room. He had already hailed a carriage to carry your belongings to the terminal, so you guessed it was only you they were waiting for.  

“I hope no one has called the police when you climbed through the terrace again,” you greeted him with a smile, your personal trunk on your hands.

“Nah, they know it’s just me,” he replied, grinning back as he took your trunk. 

Soonyoung was a childhood friend, the heir of a fine and lucrative shipping company among many in Porta Persa. He has a natural talent in mischief and a bundle of energy, yet surprisingly hard working. Together with you and Wonwoo, who was another friend, Soonyoung was currently preoccupied with The Porta Persa Edition as one of its editors. 

"We'll be seeing more of each other from now on!" He remarked excitedly, helping you up the carriage before joining in as well. "If you know what I mean." 

You sighed at his rather indiscreet methods of discretely conveying that you three were running a rather controversial newspaper. 

"How was today's paper though?" You asked as the carriage began moving and jumping around the cobblestones. 

Soonyoung grinned victoriously. "Folks were deliciously eating it by the news stands and Wonwoo said the Parliament and the Royal Elders were absolutely livid with Alex Fireflower's piece!" 

You feel a sweatdrop roll down your cheek. 

"It's kind of scary with the way you say that," you replied, and then continued with a more confident tone, "but I'm glad they got the message. People need to wake up from this farce." 

"You seriously hate the soulmate thing, huh?" Soonyoung commented. "I mean, I can't really say anything since I don't have my bond yet." 

You glanced at him, thinking of your own bond and instinctively hid your wrist underneath your gloves. 

"Lucky for you."

By the time you both arrived at the terminal, it was all a breeze from there. The teleportation portals were not as busy compared to other days, thus with just a cart and Soonyoung by your side, you have officially moved to the Royal Academy of Porta Persa. 

The Royal Academy of Porta Persa, or just the Academy, was a state-ran university, yet the most prominent among other universities in the area. Atop a hill overlooking the main port, it was constantly covered by wisteria and cherry blossom trees all year long thanks to magic, painting a surreal landscape for all of Porta Persa to see. 

"Even if I've seen this from my window every night, this is still quite a sight to take in," you exclaimed as you both walked towards the dormitories. 

Soonyoung gave a small smile. "I was like that last year, you know."

Due to the prestige of the Academy and its quality of education, only a select few can attend its venerable halls of learning: the elite and the intellectually gifted. You were lucky to be part of the latter group. The entrance examinations were intense yet you still made it, happy that you were finally able to attend their Effective Journalism class which was the reason why you wanted to go in the first place. 

"I'm sure your dorm master will tell you later, but I'm going to say it anyway," Soonyoung started as he pushed your cart up a slope. "In the dorm rooms, the ladies and the gents are separated."

He made it seem so controversial that you made a deadpan look by the time he finished talking.  

"I think that should be obvious by now." 

 "Eh? But aren't you disappointed? We can't brainstorm article ideas together with Wonwoo, you know!" 

 "But we can just talk in the courtyard." You shrugged, not really getting Soonyoung. 

 "We can't just talk in the courtyard! People will know we're The Porta Persa Edition!"

You stopped walking. "Soonyoung, the newspaper is registered in your name. I think, except my identity as Alex Fireflower, this is no longer any secret." 

He gave an exasperated sigh. "You're such a killjoy!"

"Oh, look. We're here," you pointed out, totally ignoring Soonyoung's comment. 

The girl's dormitory looked especially lavish with marble and ornate columns. Lilac wisteria trees dotted the surroundings, creating a flowery curtain around the dormitory. On the entrance way though was a female guard and the dorm master.

"I think I can manage from this point on," you said, taking the cart from your friend's grasps, "Thanks for your help though! I'll contact you later!"

"Oh if you say so then! Hope your roommate's nice though!" he replied, taking a step back and giving a small salute. "I'll wait for you and Wonwoo in the dorms! See you!" 

You gave a cheeky smirk and saluted him back before pushing your way inside the dorm. As you entered, the dorm master welcomed you with a polite smile in her dark floor length dress and clipboard in her hands. She was an older woman yet lacked the frightening aura dorm masters seemed to have. 

"Good morning! You are Ms. Y/N, I assume?" She asked and you nodded, showing your identification pin as proof. 

"Well unfortunately, we don't have any room in the main building, which is why we have decided that incoming students have to stay at the refurbished building." She started as she began walking you across the courtyard. "There were a lot of students last year, we really had no choice."

"I see. Well, I'm ok with anywhere, to be honest. As long as I have a bed and a desk to write on," you replied, gazing at the fancy architecture prominent among all the buildings. 

She chuckled. "Don't worry. The rooms are considerably bigger in the renovated building with a private bathroom and a small kitchen, though you have to share it with another person."

"That's quite fancy, huh? Looks like I still have my luck today," you replied with a chuckle, pushing your cart forwards. 

Shortly, the building you were to stay for the rest of your years in the university pulled into view. It was indeed massive and frighteningly grand, and seemed like only the rich can afford such residence, which definitely worried you. It would be quite difficult if you got paired with a snobby and spoiled princess of some far away land. 

Entering the building, you noticed that the hallways were no different with its golden inlays and dark marbled floors. Ceiling to floor windows graced on your left as the dorm master led you to the third floor (via an elevator) and to a wide ornate door. 

"I think it's this room." Fishing a set of keys from her pocket, she opened the door and led you inside.

To no surprise, it was an extravagant room. In your front was a sofa set by a fireplace which serves a sitting room for guests. The common room proper was separated by french doors and a wall of glass which looked like sets of windows.

You slowly took it in, unused to this kind of place. Taking a step forward, you looked around: there were fresh roses on the side table, bookcases filled with heavy tomes and encyclopedias, a scent of nearby cherry blossom flowers from an open window. 

This was definitely not what you had expected. This large room fit for royals was not what you had in mind when you imagined yourself living in the dorm rooms of the Academy. And it frightened you. 

"Do...do I have to pay for this?" You asked the dorm master who was waiting for you at the doorway. 

She smiled. "No need to worry, Ms. Y/N. All of your expenses here are paid by the state."

"Is it really alright for me to be here…" 

Your words faltered, thinking about how lucky and privileged you were to be living in this kind of place in the next few years, while there were others who stayed in a much humble dorm room. 

"Is it not to your liking?" The dorm master asked which you immediately denied. 

"No, no. This is good," you said. Too good even.

Your thoughts you flushed out before it could convince you to just stay at your family home. That would definitely not be ideal at all. Tentatively opening the french doors leading to the common room, what you saw was definitely not what you expected. 

Fresh from an immersive bath was a man, not much older than Soonyoung, in his half naked glory. 

"Who on earth are you?" He asked and you froze. 

Frozen because all you wanted to do was to wake up from this horrible nightmare of a day, or you wanted to evaporate there at your very spot from sheer embarrassment. 

Without a word, you immediately closed the door and ran back to the door where the dorm master was looking at you in confusion. 

"This…! This room is clearly occupied! By a man!" You nearly screamed at her, yet still held a bit of your composure. 

You could still see the afterimage of the man in your mind, his dark black hair wet, his toned body only covered by a mere towel. You furiously tried to erase it out of your eye sockets before you sink into the gutter.

"Huh? But the records say this room is occupied by Iris Appleby," she replied in panic, checking her clipboard over and over again. 

In the midst of her checking, the man emerged from the bedroom, now much more appropriate in trousers and a button up. He seemed to be a bit annoyed from the disturbance, you noticed. 

"I assume there must be some problem here," he said coolly, hands in his pockets. 

If anything, you thought the dorm master had seen a ghost from how pale she got just from taking a glimpse of the man. 

"Sir Lee Jihoon! I must apologize for this inconvenience!" She exclaimed tearfully. Her panic had doubled and was now frantically checking the records.

You blinked several times upon hearing the name, and then finally, it clicked a second after. 

The youngest parliament member, huh? 

"I'm sure there was some mistake! We thought this room was occupied by someone else, Sir! And it's the only available room we have!" The dorm master cried, and you grimaced. 

"Alright, madam. Please take a deep breath," you told her, patting her back. "We could check if there are other rooms left, okay?" 

"I already did through the clipboard! We have the dorm rooms monitored by magic tracing, yet in some way, only this room was registered with a wrong name," she replied as her shoulders sagged. 

"I don't mind her as a roommate," the third person involved finally spoke. "The rooms are separated and we only have to share the bath, the kitchen and the common room anyway." 

The dorm master seemed hopeful for that solution as she gave you a questioning look. Lee Jihoon also glanced at you, his sharp eyes seemingly judging. 

It's either here or back at home, huh? There was no way you're going back. 

"As I said earlier, madam, I can sleep anywhere as long as I have a bed and a desk," you replied with a reassuring smile and then gazed at Jihoon. "It's not really as bad as it looks." 

Ecstatic with your answer, the dorm master shouted her massive amount of gratitude and bowed farewell after giving you your keys.

Turning around, you faced Lee Jihoon who had his arms crossed, and an unimpressed look on his face. 

"I'm Y/N! First year History of Magic major! Nice to meet you, my roommate," you cheerfully introduced yourself yet was met with only sheer silence. You narrowed your eyes at him.

"This is the point where you also introduce yourself while shaking my hand and we then go on with the particulars of our own lives, never to interact again except when sharing the kitchen and the bath," you continued, clearly irked. 

He raised his brows at you in amusement. Taking your hand, he shook yours firmly. 

"Lee Jihoon, Magical Law, 2nd year. A pleasure as well," he replied, and then gave the most sarcastic smile you've ever seen, if you've ever seen one, before dropping your hand.

"Let's actively avoid each other from now on," he replied with his back turned. Walking away, Jihoon waved at you and then went towards his own room. 

Alone, the silence was empty. Yet you simply shrugged at the whole event. Having a politician as a roommate was way better than a princess.

Dragging your cart of belongings inside, you went to what you assumed was your room, opposite to Jihoon's. You noticed that the common room consisted of another ornate fireplace, a large gilded table and a high tech kitchen fueled by fire-charged stones. There were also a few pieces of expensive decor which would really suck if you managed to break one. 

The common room was fancy, and your room was, of course, no different. It was a bit bare yet it was already filled with furniture. The canopy bed was at the center; a tall curtained window behind it, as well as a set of chairs just in front of a fireplace. A desk and a few bookshelves was at the far right, near the door. Your closet was a walk-in type, you observed, yet immediately grimaced, knowing you never had that much clothes in the first place. 

Huffing, you sat on a lounge chair at the end of the bed. (It wasn't dusty, thank god.) Yet today was by far the most exhausting day you had. 

Removing the glove on your right hand, you checked if the soulmate marking was really there or just an early morning nightmare of yours. It was still there though, glistening against the midday sunlight from the window. 

It looked innocent that way, just black horizontal bars. Yet its meaning was something you wished did not exist at all.

--!!

All of the sudden, you felt a sharp pang on your head, followed by a sound of static on your ears and a barrage of muddled thoughts in your head. You grabbed a fistful of your hair to at least calm it down a bit yet it was for naught.

A bad migraine, you convince yourself. It was definitely not.

Struggling at the lounge chair for several minutes left you panting and nauseous. There was no solution to this as this was of course the result of you tampering with the connection. You felt like banging your head on the wall because of the pain and because of your own sheer stubbornness, yet that wouldn't really solve anything, will it?

Before you could even contemplate asking your roommate for help, the pain and the overwhelming confusion disappeared and left you in a state of clarity. 

Exhausted, you closed your eyes and sighed.

"I never knew you detest me so much, my dear soulmate." 

Those were definitely not your thoughts.

CHAP 1 | CHAP 2 | CHAP 3 | CHAP 4 | CHAP 5 | CHAP 6 | * A/N: HII! This is Hyeri!! (I deleted my first post ;;w;;) It’s been a long time! Here’s a JIhoon fic to start things up! This, I guess my goal for this is to deconstruct the soulmate au??? Srsly, I’ve been watching a lot of anime reviews...

[rosaxlunar]

❝ I WOULD TAKE A BULLET FOR YOU, JUST TO PROVE MY LOVE, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU WERE THE ONE HOLDING THE GUN❞

&&. ( melanie derrieux ) was just spotted in amsterdam. rumor has it ( she/her ) is a ( 900 / appears 34 ) year old ( angel of light ) who resembles ( lea seydoux ). ( she ) has been said to be ( dedicated & creative ) but also quite ( aloof & naive ).with all the chaos surrounding the magical underworld, ( she ) has chosen to align with ( angels of the light ). ( she ) is currently serving as ( a fashion designer ). hopefully the city doesn’t devour them whole.

001 ✟ THE BASICS

NAME: Melanie Derrieux AGE: Nine Hundred appears Thirty Four DOB: July 12 - Cancer GENDER: Cis Female SEXUALITY: Bisexual NATIONALITY: French  SPECIES: Angel of Light ALLEGIANCE: Light Angels THEME SONG: Young & Beautiful - Lana Del Rey PERSONALITY TRAITS: ( + ) Affectionate, Dedicated, Creative & Loyal  ( - ) Aloof, Melancholy, Naive, Spoiled

002 ✟ IN DEPTH

there are few things melanie derrieux remembers from her time as a human. she knows she was the only child of étienne and fleur derrieux and as such she was the sole focus of her parent’s affection. she knows she was born in paris france, and that she never left her birthplace except to visit the countryside every so often. she knows she was happy and intermingled with some names and faces are the vague recollections of little instances of a mortal life, of fleeting romances and rebellious charisma making the most of every day. however time was a funny thing, and for the immortal it became more of a blur as time continued on. she kept forgetting more and more of life as a human. replacing those faint memories were the vivid ones made as an angel. she doesn’t know why she was chosen, can't even begin to recall how she died and what exactly deemed her worthy enough to continue the afterlife as one of god's faithful servants but she was honored. originally trained as a healer, she spent her afterlife traveling the world and helping heal the warrior angels in all their battles. 

it was as a healer that melanie first met the headstrong and formidable angel, sanem. never in all her years, would melanie think that a brief interaction where she helped heal the wounded angel would in turn result into one of the best things to ever happen to her. sanem became more than just a warrior angel mel would occasionally help, she became her confidant, her best friend, a missing key that opened her life to a plethora of happiness. after that, it was rare to see one without the other, each intrinsically linked to one another.

melanie didn’t think anything could get better until she found herself in a whirlwind of a romance. her soul finally meeting its match, her other half, her soulmate. she fell for another light angel and it wasn’t long till she promised her heart and herself to him, as he did to her. after all the courting and affectionate rituals they could share in, the completed the most sacred one. to unite under the eyes and grace of god, and publically share their loyalty only to one another. they were married and she wore his ring proudly, delighted to call herself a mrs. for so many years she was content, fulfilling her purpose as a healer, seeing her husband continue to thrive in his mission to rid the world of darkness and evil, as well as her best friend. she was so caught up in her bliss, she didn’t see the signs that something was wrong, and would brush off the concerning observations brought up by her dearest friend sanem. it was just inconceivable, the notion that the man she had trusted would ever betray her. not after all they've been through, not after all the promises. 

however, it came to a point where things could no longer be brushed aside and in an ugly twist of fate, melanie felt her bond shatter, not only because of the single betrayal of him having found comfort in another being, which was already painful enough, but worse still was him having the nerve, the utter gall and disgrace to fall and leave her behind without confronting her about it. even if she hadn’t caught them with her own eyes, seen it play out as he sipped the blood his putain had offered him, she would have known of his falling. for her soul felt an indescribable pain, a separation, a splitting of one back to two. and worse still, she could feel an echo of his presence that was no longer there, a coldness seeping in where there was once only warmth. 

it's only been a few years since that fateful day and her whole way of life has changed. she was lucky that she had sanem to help her pick up the pieces of the utter destruction done to her heart but even with her around, the walls that came up around melanie transformed her from a once sunny and vibrant personality into a cool distant one. she weathered the side glances and the gossipy whispers of those who knew the fate of her marriage, tried not to let the remarks and questions bring shame to her the way some intended. she wasn’t the one who broke the promise and she wasn’t the one who chose a cowards way out. yet it would be a lie if she didn’t admit that she often asks herself, in the quiet moments of pure isolation. just what exactly was so wrong with her, that a mere mortal was enough for her soulmate to drink the forbidden blood and fall. why was she not enough? why did she not even suspect that he was so unhappy with her? 

she walks with her head held high, a cool gaze and with an expressionless face when in public, but in reality she feels so distraught. Time hasn’t healed the emotional wounds yet and she now clings to her best friend, as a source of comfort and love, the only one she doesn’t doubt while everything else around her proved to be a lie. 

in an effort to escape the stigma that her failed marriage has brought her, melanie relocated to the city of amsterdam when the truth of what they are came to light. to this new city she was a stranger, only the other angels knew of her past and it was a breath of fresh air that for the most part, she could go about town and not feel the pitying stares follow her every move

003 ✟ FUN FACTS

after her marriage and connection to her soulmate was destroyed, melanie found herself too distracted and in a fog of grief to continue as a healer. her superiors quickly realizing that until she was better, she would be no good to them or their armies. melanie took a step back from her healing duties.

always a creative soul and very good with her hands, melanie found a comfort in sewing. from then she began to teach herself how to work with different fabrics and then at the encouragement of her best friend, she started trying to create the outfits and designs she would originally just doodle. now melanie is opening her first boutique, where everything is custom made by her and her little team of seamstresses.  

melanie has an immense love and respect for flowers and fauna, the fragile beauty always called out to her and she loved the process of planting the seed and seeing them bloom. its not rare to see mel picking flowers or having the motif around her, her clothing, her accessories and the like. she used to tend many gardens up above and now that she has settled on earth, she is in the process of making her own little magical garden.

melanie’s new boutique is named MAISON DE LA FLEUR FAE - an ode to her love of flowers, and her belief that were she to be any other creature, she knows she would be a fairy. 

melanie is absolutely clueless about the fact that her best friend, sanem is not only deeply in love with her, but was the puppet master behind her husband being lured to the dark side all in an effort to have melanie to herself. to melanie, sanem is her rock, and she cannot see how manipulative the other angel can be.

004 ✟ WANTED CONNECTIONS

ex husband:  this character will be a wanted connection soon, is currently a happy fallen angel, might feel guilt over how shit went down but it will be utp if they have any lingering feelings for melanie or not. melanie does not know that she chose the city where her ex lives, lots of drama when they see each other again. even more drama should he reveal that sanem had a hand in everything that went down.

friends: sanem is her best friend and she feels a connection to adonis because his partner fell too. I would love to plot with any other light angels to think up how our bbs know each other!

anything else: even though melanie can be very flirtatious, the minute it can resemble anything real she retreats. so hookup culture isn’t her thing but it can be fun to play around with that, i would also love to explore all the snark and unfriendly interactions of vampires vs angels, and fallen angels vs angels. so lets have fun with our bbs not liking each other!  as well as potential clients at her boutique!  

[curious-minx]

Entering into a new dawn of Corporatist Neoliberalism, all while leaving behind a rising Fascist Empire. A solid Bob’s Burgers and a surprisingly decent Simpsons is your reward.

“Fast Time Capsules at Wagstaff School”  once again finds the show operating in the territory it does best: A Poignant twee commentary with the junior Belchers and a nearly pointless sideplot with the adult Belchers that actually sports a satisfying conclusion. The ingredients of a quality kids subplot requires a touch of Tina having the conflict of wielding too much power passed down to her by Mr. Frond whose mere appearance reliably bumps an episode up a notch. This episode not only also weaves the usual Tammy and Jocelyn jealousy games with Tina but also splashes two other of Tina’s peers into the mix: Jim Gaffigan’s Kelsey Grammar indebted Henry Haber and girl friend Sasmina voiced by National Treasure Aparna Nancherla. The episode focuses primarily on Tina’s gatekeeping of the contents of the Wagstaff time capsule. A particularly timely concept for a year where history is a constant 24/7 newsfeed of dramatic historical importance. 

I fold up my muted pink streaked swimming trunks and put them into my personal time capsule. No way will I ever be braving a public beach or swimming hole. The act of exposing any amount of flesh during a pandemic is unthinkable, but in another 50 years I am sure there will be a lot more living to do. The episode goes even further in poignancy with layering a coinciding  Louise conflict over a pair of Boyz4Now lands a lot differently in these Quarantined Times. Never have I related to Louise and her desire to go see a cute pop group sing in an intimate live setting, singing such hits like “Your Heart Fell On The Floor, Let Me Get It For You,” a level of cuteness not even Belle and Sebastian or The Magnetic Fields could probably come up with. The main plot moves along with a clean efficiency of storytelling bringing Louise and Tina conspiring together using their combined sister brain to retrieve the tickets, but due to further conflicting interests. The episode concludes with the characters taking their personal losses and rolling with the punches, which is another central sweet spot. Earlier on the series I felt like the Belcher family were constantly losing and being put down upon by the world around them. The pendulum of justice remains in flux giving the Belchers and friends minor victories, but the last image of this episode really gets to me.  The sight of group of kids  in a parking lot bonding by singing the hit “Someday We’ll Spoon” as it plays off in the distance. Another song title that hits so much harder than it ever could have without the rampaging socially distanced disease.

“If you see a cop, whistle!” - Teddie, and me whenever I see a cop because I always make sure to harass and wolf whistle at cops like they were a piece of construction worker street meat. 

One of my new favorite Bobspressions. 

The B plot with Bob and Linda is essentially that Bob can whistle, but Linda cannot, although Linda can roll her R’s. This teasing and taunting domestic squabble is cushioned by the looming gentle omnipresence of Teddie. Teddie, Bob and Linda are a solid trio and play off each other as characters really well and the repartee between the characters feels a lot looser than it has in past episodes of this season. The subplot culminates in Teddie making one of my favorite comedic moves being dependent on his parasocial relationship with Bob and Linda’s marriage. Teddie is the friend that believes in the love of his friends’ marriage more so than his own friends do and it’s always pretty touching to see Teddie play that card. The adults largely stay completely static inside a one-shot of the restaurant with Bob in the kitchen window, but there is a discernible rise and fall conflict between Bob and Linda that culminates with simple silly sweetness. Once again the adults are left fuddling around in their comfortable boxes and squares they have created for themselves, while the children are foisted out in the world having to deal with Future. 

One other particularly timely one-off joke that the writers would have no way of knowing how timely and off-putting it would be is when Eugene makes a reference to Sean Connery. Gene compares Linda to the late actor responding to Linda on her R syllable rolling flexing. I am sure the writer of the episode felt some kind of something with this episode airing a week after the man died. 

This episode is a Boyz4.5(4)Now. 

///

Thankfully this next episode of the Simpsons did not trot out Mr. James Bont. Episode 5 of Season 32 “The Seven Beer Itch” is a rebound episode from the last three exhausting conceptual excursions. I failed to do a write up on the Season 32 premiere episode, “Undercover Burns,” which I give a Pass (A Pass btw means that you won’t be harmed passing this show through your system, whereas Skip speaks for itself). Both the season opener and this fifth episode are just Simpsons episodes based in and around Springfield. No historical role-play or contrived literary surrogate puppet shows. This episode initially begins filling the viewer with “Simpsons on Holiday” dread opening the episode with The Groundskeeper Willie serving as the episode’s narrator. What’s completely confounding is that Willie has no bearing on the plot of this episode in any way whatsoever other than the fact that both he and UK Treasure Olivia Coleman are both from across the Pond. 

The Simpsons have become one of the most musical series on television, and frankly it  saps away the energy of the when songs pile on top of one another. I know I  should be more wickedly delighted by having The Gosh Dang Favourite singing a pub song to Homer at Moe’s Tavern, but instead these songs make me go dead inside. Especially when Dan Castellaneta has to be a total diva belching out melodies with honey voiced Barney. Maybe if the songs were relegated to once a season or specifically to the ending credit sequence a la Bob’s Burgers that would be one thing, but a song  (or three! Or five!) per episode is simply too busy. Then again “busy” describes everything about the Simpsons in 2020. The show continues to astound me visually with Springfields starry purple skies, brief glimpses of London clock towers served up alongside Marge and kids trip to Martha’s Vineyard. We even take a pit stop in California with Olivia Coleman’s Lily doing a forced, weirdly gentle riff with Leonard DiCaprio (who goes uncredited, making matters even stranger). Overall, modern Simpsons is the nicest looking adult animated sitcom around until Tuca and Bertie comes back on air. That being the said the plots of each episode feel like they are being pulled out of a magic foam wizard’s hat stuffed to the brim with Simpsons conceits. This week the writer’s pull Homer Seduction from out of the hat.

The Homer seduction plot can be traced back as early as Season 3 with the episode “Colonel Homer.” This episode more or less grafts its main plot swapping out a Pretty Country Singer with a Charming British Lady. The songs in “Colonel Homer” were actively related to the plot with country star Lurleen Lumpkins becoming infatuated with Homer Simpson, because he’s, he’s a simple and um sweet man. Homer has fidelity! 32 plus years on the air and Homer still remains the kind of man that will still choose his wife over whatever hot piece of Academy Award Winning voiced action comes his way. 

I will end this review with this image of Homer giving us viewers come hither and fuck me eyes. Imagine an artist sitting down and drawing Homer Simpson giving you this coquettish glance and try not feeling sick with existential dread:

This episode deserves a Pass.

///

Addendum:

A response to Digital Spy and hand wringing queerness out of a cartoon child 

The article in question is available here. 

The journalist of this article insistence that Lisa be a LGTBQ+ icon is understandable, but taking umbrage with Yeardely Smith’ for saying that she views Lisa as a child is queasy and infuriating. Smith isn’t a Karen trying to rob Lisa of her Queer freedom. Lisa’s queerness is innate and subtly woven into the character and explicitly spelled out in future glimpses of the character. I really shutter to think what the Simpsons mostly white and male writers room would concoct for a “queering” of Lisa. Dissecting and analyzing a cartoon child’s sexuality is all fun and games, but the world is also dying and full of real life children, not cartoon characters, in pain far more worthy of our concern. I would much rather there be support for Queer artist making their own adult animated sitcom and let Lisa Simpson just be a little girl that loves as Yeardely Smith calls “girly things.” Interpret this literally. Lisa is a cartoon girl living in a cartoon world and she’ll probably grow up to be a nonbinary polyamorous Super Computer or Sax Master General.

If you haven't already I strongly recommend readers check out Smith’s appearance on the currently defunct podcast Harmontown. In the episode “I Was A Simpson” she comes across as charming and thoughtful and worth a listen. She’s not someone that strikes me as a hateful advocate of queer erasure. She strikes me as a cagey performer not wanting to nail down too many concrete details about her character. Ultimately the writers and Smith know Lisa is a queer character,  but unless the show is willing to hire a LGBTQ+ writer to help create a Queer Coming of Age centric coming of age episode I am content with having her identity be nudged and winked at in glimpses of the future and left at that. Good grief. 

[wyrmsandrocs]

*kicks your door down* aLL THE FUCKING ASKS YA BINCH

1. selfie - cant link a photo on mobile but click this lmao 2. what would you name your future kids? - Bob. I have very little idea lmao i cant even name my characters 3. do you miss anyone? - Yeah, but everyone i miss was shit anyway so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lmao4. what are you looking forward to? - tomorrow bc i can see wyna again lmao ((yes i know you asked but like just saying”when i can see you again” sounds weird in a general post)) 5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? - Wyna lmao 6. is it hard for you to get over someone? - yes 7. what was your life like last year? - pretty good but I was struggling to detach myself from toxic people 8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? - y e s 9. who did you last see in person? - aside from my fam, @canipetyourdragon and @softbutchnepeta 10. are you good at hiding your feelings? - when I want to, yeah 11. are you listening to music right now? - No but I have Merano from Chess in my head god save me 12. what is something you want right now? - A MOThERFUCKING APPLE FRITTER. PLEASE. 13. how do you feel right now? - pretty good, kinda tired, kinda numb but hey thats life

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? - like two hours ago when my lil bros hugged me

 15. personality description - ((im guessing this means my personality?)) Stressed, depressed, but well dressed. Anxiety Incarnate. Allergic to chill. ambitious, traumatized, FocusedTM. I’d like to say im funny but who knows. wyna am i funny? most likely annoying. 16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? - y e s 17. opinion on insecurities. - a normal part of being human 18. do you miss how thing were a year ago? - n o p e im really really happy with how things are now, and I don’t truly miss the way things were

19. have you ever been to New York? - nope20. what is your favourite song at the moment? - Vincent (Starry Night) by Josh Groban. its so beautiful and im sobbing. 21. age and birthday? - ummm i dunno i stopped counting a few ceturies back. it’s been a while and no one remembers it any way so *shrug*22. description of crush. - Smart, funny, kind, a complete dork. Her hair is always rlly curly and it’s adorable but she usually keeps it back in a ponytail or smthn. a ridiculous hufflepuff nerd and a rlly Cool Person. ((disclaimer: platonic crushes only))23. fear(s) - Being abandoned, myself, getting into another bad relationship, spiders, and taxidermy. 24. height - im like almost 6 feet tall25. role model - uhhh idrk if i have a role model. Nina Zenik lmao 26. idol(s) - Leigh Bardugo27. things i hate - Spiders, idiots, assholes 28. i’ll love you if… - you send me asks or buy me cute stationary. 29. favourite film(s) - Fight Club, the animated Anastasia movie30. favourite tv show(s) - Voltron, Stranger Things, and Turn 31. 3 random facts - Polar bear fur is actually clear, the things on giraffes heads are called osocones, and the same opening literary device was used in The Odyssey, Romeo and Juliet, Sweeny Todd, and Hamilton. 32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? - No. most of my friends are nb 33. something you want to learn - To play the piano, to cope better. 34. most embarrassing moment - okay kiddos buckle up it’s story time. once when I was like 9 and on Quotev I saw this comment thread that said “lyric chain.” I thought this meant people were making up lyrics, so i scrolled to the end and continued “She’ll fade out tonight, straight down the line” with “straight down that liiiiiiiiine,” extra vowels and all. It was only years later that a song played on the radio and i did a spit take. this was the song that I had added to years ago. I asked my mother what it was. It was the a team by Ed Sheeran. I have now died of embarrassment 35. favourite subject - history 36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? - Publishing a book, being fluent in at least two languages, publishing a book of poetry37. favourite actor/actress - okay ngl first thought was jeremy jordan bc im musical theatre trash 38. favourite comedian(s) - umm im not really sure 39. favourite sport(s) - no 40. favourite memory - going to the leigh bardugo book signing in august with @canipetyourdragon @snicksnackknickknack and @a-digital-ace 41. relationship status - very very single lmfao 42. favourite book(s) - anything by Leigh Bardugo, specifically Six of Crows 43. favourite song ever - oh man idk maybe Believer by Imagine Dragons or anything off of Melodrama by Lorde 44. age you get mistaken for - like early 20s 45. how you found out about your idol - my gramma gave me a book she wrote 46. what my last text message says - And in crying bc this isn’t my freddy I love Freddy he’s a brilliant clever puppet master asshole 47. turn ons - um ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 48. turn offs - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯49. where i want to be right now - with wyna 50. favourite picture of your idol - ooh there was a rlly great selfie she posted a while ago on insta51. starsign - taurus sun libra moon 52. something i’m talented at - poetry 53. 5 things that make me happy - wyna, books, writing, music, chocolate 54. something thats worrying me at the moment - the future 55. tumblr friends - @sunshinesorbet we dont talk that much but ur great n ily friend 56. favourite food(s) - spaghetti, waffles, cake, and stroganof ((idk how to spell that)) 57. favourite animal(s) - cats, owls, doves, deer58. description of my best friend - amazing and great and kind and funny and wonderful. 100% a dork and i love her a lot 59. why i joined tumblr - bc of someone I dont talk to anymore lmfao.

ty so much for asking ily forever now!

[batbobsession]

The Nameless Prince - A BatB/Doctor Who Crossover Episode

Okay, so @lumiereswig has had this idea up for quite some time, and after some intense thinking, I’ve come up with a crossover story so detailed that it could very well be considered a Doctor Who episode.  So this is a gift of sorts (because you’re a good friend of mine and you’re awesome).  Enjoy it! 

The prologue shows 18th century France, in an old courtyard.  There are about twelve or so figures dressed in appropriate party wear for the time, including masquerade masks that cover their entire faces and long, curly wigs.  They're all motionless, completely still.  Then a figure in a thick black cloak walks in and around them, muttering words and pointing fingers.  Suddenly all of the figures spring to life, and start following the figure in a way so uniform that it almost seems robotic.

(THEME SONG PLAYS)

Okay, so Twelve and Bill are traveling in the Tardis, and suddenly the Tardis jerks out of their control and crash lands somewhere completely unknown, as the Tardis suddenly refuses to give Twelve proper readings.  It starts to overheat, rapidly, and Twelve and Bill flee the Tardis to escape the heat.  Once they are outside, the Tardis shuts its doors, preventing them from reentering.  Only then does Twelve realize that he left the sonic screwdriver on the console.  So they're well and truly on their own.

Bill's all like “what's wrong?” and Twelve's like “she's never behaved this way before” and “something's done this to her, something inhuman.”

So while Twelve's trying to find a way back in, Bill wanders off to explore and finds the castle.  She gets all giddy and runs back to Twelve, because “oh my god there's a castle just around the corner, maybe we could ask them for directions” and finally—because on the inside he's such a softie—he's like “okay fine, but they won't know anything, cuz this is 1763” (or something along that time).  And who do they run into but Lumiere and Plumette while exploring. Twelve shows off his psychic paper and they get into the castle, but after the couple talk for a sec, they're like “the master isn't accepting guests right now, but we can accommodate you as best we can” (because duh that's what Lumiere would do).

Then they run into Cogsworth, who of course is like “nO get them out of here, the master is in an incredibly terrible mood right now” which prompts Twelve to ask who “the master” is, and one of them mentions his name, Adam.  And Twelve immediately gets that “something is very very wrong” look in his eye and pulls Bill aside, saying that there is no “Prince Adam” in any history record; he shouldn't exist. Twelve wants to go and talk to Adam, but Bill's like “but they said we should stay out of sight if we want to stay here” and that's when Adam decides to make his grand entrance.

And he comes in like the Trash Prince he is (because this is pre-curse), demanding to know who these strangers are, acting snobby and rude, and Bill starts to quip back at him, which sets Adam off, but then Chip runs into the room and says that there are a bunch of “strange men” at the gates.

Bill, Twelve, Lumiere, and Plumette all decide to investigate so they follow Chip and find that these strange men have cornered Mrs. Potts and Chapeau, who, by the way, are trying to find out who they are.  Twelve is inspecting one of them and is all like “ooh, these aren't humans, they're robots!” and everyone there is like “what's a robot?” and just as Adam decides to come downstairs after them, Twelve pulls off the mask and the wig of one of them, and it looks like this on the inside.  Upon seeing Adam, they all turn to him and go “you are compatible” and these blades all come out of their sleeves. Everyone screams and runs in different directions…save for Twelve, because he's seen these exact same monsters before, and wonders what they're doing here because they definitely shouldn't be working anymore.

Meanwhile, the castle is under attack.  The androids have split up because so have the staff. Cogsworth and Lumiere are trying to fight off two of them; Cogsworth has a gun, and Lumiere has a sabre.  While the bullets seem to be doing some damage, they're not completely stopping them, and Lumiere's sabre just straight-up gets chopped in half because those blades are wicked sharp (I imagine he'd have one of those O.O moments).  But it turns out that Cogsworth is actually doing a pretty good job of keeping them at bay.  After a little while, Cogsworth slows them down just enough so that he and Lumiere can get away.

Meanwhile, Bill and Chapeau are getting cornered in the kitchen by two of them, and Chapeau—thinking fast—pours a whole bottle of wine onto one of them, which makes it short-circuit, and then Plumette runs in with Mrs. Potts and straight-up whacks the other one with a frying pan and breaks it.  

And Bill is immediately like “okay, you're my new best friend, because that was the single most awesome thing I have ever seen.”

They inspect the two androids and find that there's some kind of cryptic script written on some of the gears inside them.  Bill digs some of them out and they all try to find Twelve, but before they can, Mrs. Potts starts freaking out because Chip was with her a second ago and now he's not.

Meanwhile, Lumiere and Cogsworth have caught up with Adam and Twelve, who are still running for their lives.  Adam is still demanding to know what's going on and why they're interested in him specifically, and Twelve is trying to interrogate Adam because he's still “not in the history books” and he doesn't know why.  So they're both yelling at each other, and Lumiere and Cogsworth are really the only ones trying to find a way to escape.  They run into the others, who help barricade them all inside the ballroom, where many of the other nameless servants have fled and are trying to formulate some kind of plan.

Bill shows Twelve the gears she found, and Twelve gets that “oh now I get what's going on and it's brilliant” look in his eyes (funny how it always appears when everyone's in danger).  He says that the androids aren't alive anymore; their bodies are being puppeteered by a Carrionite. And Bill's of course like “What's that, some kind of vulture?” And Twelve's like “nooooo, they're humanoid aliens that use word-based sciences to carry out their whims.”  Bill gives him this ????? look and he just sighs and says “Most people mistake them for witches, or enchantresses.”

dun dun dun

So the androids break down the door and surround everyone—only now there's eight instead of twelve because the staff managed to kill off four of them.

They demand that Adam come back with them, and Adam's like “HELL no, besides, you broke into my house; it's a place of beauty, and you're not welcome here, so get out.”

So one of them moves aside, revealing that they have Chip, and have been holding him hostage.  Which of course sends Mrs. Potts into a frenzy.  They again demand that he come, or they'll “kill the child.”

The entire castle is silent, because they want to protect their prince, but they also don't want Chip—innocent little ball of sunshine that he is—to die.  Except for Mrs. Potts, who's in tears at this point.

Adam—of course—refuses, and the androids do exactly what they said they'd do and vaporize Chip.  Everyone freaks out, and Twelve gets mad, because when someone dies and he's there it means that he didn't do his job right, that he failed. He takes most of his anger out on Adam, because lord knows he deserves it.

The androids advance on the other staff members, but it starts to become obvious that Adam would make the same decision and try to save his own skin.  Twelve has had enough and breaks open one of the windows, urging everyone to get out through them.  Everyone obeys, (including Bill because Twelve orders her to look after the remaining staff) leaving Twelve alone with the androids.  Twelve declares that he's figured them out, that he knows what's going on, and he demands that the Carrionite show herself.  

So all the androids fall apart (like to pieces, so no one could ever use them again) and out walks Agathe from behind a pillar.  Twelve interrogates her, asking why she isn't stuck in her world with the rest of her sisters, and Agathe reveals that she's one of the oldest Carrionites to ever exist, and that she's not like her sisters; she observes and teaches humans lessons rather than attack them.  She even goes so far as to say that this whole thing with the androids was a test for Adam, a test that he failed.  And as punishment, the world will forget his name—and in turn forget him—because she will curse the castle and its inhabitants forever.

Twelve asks her “what makes you think you can play God like that?  Who gave you the right?” and Agathe (savage) replies “I could ask you the same question.”  She then goes on to reveal that she was the one that stopped the Tardis.  She wanted to teach Twelve a little lesson about losing.  Ever since he met the Impossible Girl, he's been obsessed with winning, and has even defied impossibilities beyond comprehension (such as discovering the afterlife, trapping Gallifrey in a pocket universe, busting through Azbantium to get back to it, etc).  Winning at everything makes some people reckless, and you have to lose once in a while in order to stay humble and good at heart.  “You're a powerful man with a powerful name,” she says, “yet it remains a mystery even to me.”  It's something Adam and the Doctor will have in common: no one will ever know their real names again.

Twelve asks Agathe to show them mercy, but she only smiles and says that her work here is done, and that her lesson will go a long way; he just doesn't know it yet.  With that, she disappears, and Twelve walks outside, still hurt by the fact that he did virtually nothing to save Chip.

When he gets out, he finds that Bill has become fast friends with Plumette, and they're telling each other stories to keep the other's spirits up.  Twelve just tells Bill that it's time to go, and they reluctantly board the Tardis and leave.

Just after they do, Chip wakes up behind some bushes near the castle (because that “vaporizing light” was actually the light of a teleporter—I'm not that heartless, guys) and runs to Mrs. Potts, and this wave of relief just sweeps across the staff.

A few hours later, the staff have cleaned up the remains of the androids and are back to doing their regular duties.  Chapeau and Cogsworth welcome two Italian musicians into the castle, as they are to perform for a ball the prince will be hosting the next day.  

Lumiere and Plumette talk about how Bill and the Doctor were such an odd and lovely duo—“I quite liked Bill, she was so strong and brave.” “Oui, and that Doctor fellow was Scottish; I am quite glad to meet another, especially here in France.”  “Do you think they'll visit again?” “It's altogether possible.” (But Lumiere's a little worried because they were put in a life-threatening situation, after all.) Life continues on.  

And back in the Tardis, Bill comments that she hopes they'll be alright, and that Adam was a really big douche.  She also asks what happened back in the castle, and Twelve responds that he met with the Carrionite, and they talked for a while.  Also, he figured out why Adam's not in any of the history records.

Bill then asks about Plumette and the other members of the staff, and an old memory resurfaces in Twelve's mind.  He tells Bill that Plumette will marry Lumiere, and that her descendants will have just as much spunk as she does—they might even engage in time travel in the future.  And not just that—Mrs. Potts' descendants might dabble in a bit of time travel as well.  He says this with a very knowing look in his eye. 

 And it takes a moment for that to completely sink in before Bill's eyes go as wide as dinner plates.  She's completely speechless.

And with that, Twelve shifts the Tardis into Drive Mode, and they head off on another adventure.