#I remember last time I was so anxious about the fact I hadn't actually told my parents about it

[walkingstackofbooks]

Kind of looking forward to going to the dentist today because I'm going to be getting the drugs that make it impossible to feel anxious 😂😂

I mean right now I'm nervous as heck, but I know that in a couple of hours I'll have no memory of the thing and will be as chilled out as anything XD My housemate says the last time I did this a few years ago, I came back singing lol

[roosterforme]

Aim for the Sky Part 9 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: You were trying your best to enjoy the countdown to the arrival of the baby, but your emotions were all over the place. Even on your birthday, you couldn't tell if you were excited or anxious. Bradley planned to surprise you with something special, but he got a different kind of surprise instead.

Warnings: Fluff, smut, angst, swearing, injury while pregnant

Length: 4500 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

Aim for the Sky masterlist. This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.

Your parents' departure after Christmas left you antsy and anxious, and you knew Bradley could tell. All the talk about them potentially moving to California had you on edge, especially since everything was beginning to feel very real now. Your due date was creeping closer and closer, and you were starting to remember one solidly scary fact on an hourly basis now: neither you nor Bradley had any clue how to take care of a baby.

Your husband was so excited, it wasn't like you could feasibly bring up this topic of conversation. Every time you tried, he reminded you that he had watched dozens of Youtube videos. He told you that your parents were always just a call away. He assured you that if he was ever going to be successful at anything, it would be taking care of Rosie.

"I'm ready for the Nugget, Baby Girl," he told you as you got dressed to go out to the Hard Deck on New Year's Eve. He was already wearing the pink shirt you gave him for Christmas. The tiny matching one was tucked away in the closet in the nursery which brought a tear to your eye.

"I know you are," you sniffed, "but I'm still scared." You'd had a headache for the last few days, and food just hadn't sounded appealing to you. Your belly was getting enormous as your third trimester wore on, and everything was tender. "She'll be here so soon."

Bradley looked at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, his eyes lighting up as he smiled. "Eleven more weeks, but who's counting? Not me," he said, holding up his phone which had a 'Countdown to Rose' background on the screen. When you didn't even smile, he sighed and said, "I know you're nervous, Sweetheart. I get moments where I'm really nervous, too."

You pressed your lips together and tried to hold back the tears. You already knew how much he struggled with coming to terms with becoming a parent when he hadn't had either of his for such a long time. "The whole thing is going to hurt. And then we have to figure out what to do with an actual baby. Like this is going to be way different from nursing Tramp back to health. And I suddenly feel like I'm going to be terrible at this."

He had you in his arms immediately, and you were trying not to get your smeared makeup on his pink shirt. "It might hurt, but I'll be with you the whole time. And then I swear I'll take care of everything right afterwards so you don't have to. I'm planning on taking a few days off from work after Rosie gets here, and you can relax and be an amazing mom while I clean and take care of everything else."

You looked up at him as a tear slid down your cheek. "You're going to cook, Roo?" you asked, finally breaking into a smile.

His eyes went wide, and his lips parted wordlessly. You laughed at the worried look on his face even as you cried a little bit more. "Well, we can figure that part out. Or maybe you can freeze some dinners? I don't think I should be cooking."

"I agree," you hiccuped, wrapping your arms around him awkwardly with your belly in the way.

You were quiet for a bit before Bradley finally asked, "Would you rather stay home tonight?"

Of course you'd rather stay home. Nothing sounded as good as your bed these days. That was where he fucked you until you weren't horny anymore and then let you fall asleep in his arms while he read to you from the Nugget notebook. "No, I want to go out and see everyone," you told him, because you knew he wanted to go out. "We can sleep in tomorrow and do nothing."

He kissed the top of your head and murmured, "It'll be a relaxing week since we're going out for your birthday on Friday night."

"Are we?" you asked, suddenly feeling excited that he always remembered your day and made it special. "Where?"

"Hot sauce restaurant," he whispered. "And maybe a little something extra."

"A cake?" you gasped.

Bradley laughed as he wiped away your tears. "You want a cake? I'll get you a cake, Baby Girl. Anything you want."

-----------------------------

The Hard Deck was absolutely packed for New Year's Eve, and Bradley was getting worried that someone was going to bump into you. He tried to get you and your bottle of Gatorade tucked safely between his body and Nat's, but there were people shoving through the crowd in every direction.

"I've never seen it this crowded before," you said over the music. You'd just been talking to Jake about three feet away, but Bradley could only pay attention to anyone who looked drunk and unsteady on their feet while he sipped his own beer cautiously.

"Seriously," he replied. "Penny and Jimmy look panicked. That new bartender looks like she's going to cry."

You scanned the room, taking a small step away from him and Nat, and that's when you got bumped. "What the fuck, man?" Bradley shouted to some guy he'd never seen before when you stumbled back against him. "Watch where the fuck you're going."

"I'm fine, Roo," you assured him with your hand on his bicep, but Bradley glared daggers at him until he was out of your vicinity.

"You might be fine, but I want you to be safe and comfortable," he snarled, finally looking down at your pretty face as your straw rested on your lip. "I want you to feel as perfect as you look." Just then someone else bumped you into him, and his fingers curled into a fist.

You reached for his hand and shook it until his fingers uncurled and were laced with yours. "I want to tell you to stop, but you're seriously turning me on right now," you moaned, eyes glued to his face as your pupils grew wide. "Like a lot."

Bradley closed his eyes and took a deep breath as his body reacted to your words and the look you were giving him. His hand came to rest gently on your bump, stroking you through your shirt. You looked incredible right now, and you even tasted and smelled impossibly sweet to him. "It's way too early to leave," he rasped, glancing down your shirt as you took another sip of Gatorade. "But when we do, I promise you'll be well taken care of."

"Mmkay, Daddy," you replied, kissing his neck while Nat made an animated gagging face behind you.

"I was going to ask if either of you wanted to play darts with me, but not if you're going to start doing that all night," she said, but you were already bouncing with excitement. 

"I want to play!" you told her, shoving your drink into Bradley's free hand.

Nat grimaced but said, "Okay, fine. But only because you look happy, and the endorphins are probably good for the baby."

For the next forty-five minutes, Bradley acted as a human fence, trying to block anyone from jostling you while you and his best friends played darts. "You want to play, Roo?" you asked him at one point, holding up three darts in his direction.

"Who's going to guard you and Rosie if I play?" he asked, glaring at a woman who came tripping in your direction.

"She'll be fine," Nat told him, but he just shook his head and let you play. This was actually exhausting. He knew he'd be tired once the baby was born, but he hadn't been anticipating starting his protective duties this early. Soon he'd have his wife and his daughter to look after. Not that he minded. He was already living for it, but he didn't want to mess anything up. Your nerves were evident earlier as your hormones were constantly fluctuating, but he wasn't sure he had an excuse here.

"Are you listening?" you asked, patting his abs with the back of your hand. He could feel your engagement ring through his new shirt which made him smile unexpectedly. "It's almost midnight."

"Oh. Should we head home?" he asked, hoping he could get you out of here unscathed. The bar was getting a little wild now.

"Let's stay for the countdown and then head out. Get me a ginger ale?"

He grunted in response, looking for someone responsible to leave you with while he fought his way to the bar, but Bob was already gone on his deployment. Maria hadn't even come out tonight, and Cam was wasted. Bradley glanced at Jake and Cat who were looking quite cozy off in the corner, and he led you in that direction with his hands on your shoulders. "Stay with them," he told you, clearly interrupting the couple as you tried to dig your feet in.

"Hey, Angel," Jake said with a smirk. He had Cat's lipstick on his face and his arm around her waist, but he didn't seem too upset that Bradley dumped you there.

"Can you look after my wife while I get her something to drink? It's a little rough in here tonight. If anyone touches her, just punch them."

"I don't need a babysitter," you complained, but he kissed your forehead as Jake made room for you to stand against the wall.

"Yes, you do. I'll be right back."

Bradley fought his way up to the bar where everyone was reaching for the plastic champagne flutes that Jimmy was pouring. Penny saw him and immediately got him another beer, but he had to lean in and ask, "Can I get a ginger ale too, Pen?"

She shot him a little smile as she reached for the soda gun and a pint glass, and Bradley turned back to check on your current status. This time next year, you and he would be cozy at home with Rose, and there was nothing that could possibly make him want to be out for the night. A soft smile found his lips as he thought about coaxing his daughter to sleep and holding her against his chest while you and he watched New Year's Rockin' Eve on TV with Tramp on the area rug.

"Hey, handsome, you wanna buy me a drink?"

Bradley let his gaze shift down to the woman next to him, and he shook his head as she reached for his hand. "Absolutely not," he replied immediately, annoyed that someone was making his quest to get this drink and get back to you longer than it needed to be. He handed Penny ten dollars and grabbed your ginger ale before heading toward the back corner where you were waiting for him, safe and sound.

"Seriously, as soon as midnight hits, we're out of here, Sweetheart."

You sipped your soda and said, "Whatever you want."

-----------------------------

It turned out you and Bradley wanted the same thing. He had you both undressed by the time you got to your bedroom, and then the two of you stumbled into the bathroom, laughing between kisses. He tasted like beer, and his two day old stubble was rough, and you wanted him so badly you were aching for it. But he took the time to light two of the candles you left near the bathtub for when you wanted to take a relaxing bath, his hard cock bobbing as he walked. 

"I'm setting the mood," he whispered with a smile, the scars on his face intriguingly handsome in the candlelight.

"Bradley, I'm always in the mood at the moment," you reminded him. You could probably handle him four times a day right now if he could manage it.

"Just let me try to be romantic," he whined, pressing your butt against the edge of the vanity before spinning you around to face the mirror. "I want to romantically fuck the shit out of you."

Your giggles turned to moans as he guided himself deep into your pussy before stroking your clit with one sure fingertip and bracing his hand on the vanity next to yours. His abs were hard against your back, and his pelvic bones were sharp, digging into your rear end. He pulled out a few inches before thrusting deep once again with a delicious snap of his hips. His eyes looked impossibly dark reflecting in the mirror as he watched your breasts bounce as he repeated that same thrust once again.

"Look at you," he crooned softly, leaning in to kiss the shell of your ear as he fucked you a little faster. "Oh my god."

He dragged his big hand up from your clit to cup your belly softly, kissing along your neck as you already felt yourself pulsing around him. Those rough fingers soon found your nipple, and you gasped, "Bradley," which just seemed to egg him on.

He was sucking on your neck and murmuring sweetly incoherent nothings. "Baby Girl, these tits. Gonna love them. My fucking god. Massive."

Where you just saw stretch marks and oversized body parts, he saw something that made him go feral for you right now. Your boobs were so tender, but there was something about the way he was grabbing at you that made you just want more. His voice was deep as his teeth grazed your skin, fingers kneading into the side of your breast as you clenched around his cock which was once again shoved deep inside your pussy.

"Your nipples look fucking huge," he whined, his hips starting to stutter after each fluid movement. "Do you see this?" he asked, hand sliding up the valley between your breasts to grab your chin and aim your eyes upwards until you were studying yourself. Your lips were parted, and he was right, your breasts did look pretty incredible as the candle light flickered. And somehow your swollen belly looked almost cute as he slammed into you from behind and groaned your name. "I did this to you," he whispered, hand resting over your belly button. "But the rest of it is just how fucking sexy you are. I can't get enough."

When you met his wild gaze in the mirror, you let your head tip back to his shoulder, maintaining eye contact as you started to come. He held you tight to his body as his hips met your butt and his cock stroked you exactly how you needed him to. "Oh fuck," you gasped, legs starting to shake as you got closer.

"Good girl," he crooned next to your ear, his mustache prickling your skin as your eyes closed. He fucked you through your orgasm, voice mingling with yours, and before you know it, you were standing there panting while his cum dripped down your inner thighs.

You were a little dizzy, but he kept a firm hold on you as he kissed and tasted your neck, cheek and shoulder. His fingers were stroking your furled nipples, and your skin was on fire with pleasurable little aftershocks that you didn't want to stop. But you were so tired, you needed to get off your feet.

"Roo."

Maybe it was how you said it, or maybe it was the use of that pet name in general, but he seemed to know exactly what you needed with just that one word. He helped you to the toilet and cleaned up your legs while you used it. He brushed his teeth while you did yours, and then he waited for you to remove your contacts and wash your face before leading you to bed. When he climbed in next to you, he kissed your lips and let you get as comfortable as you could before whispering, "I love you both." You were asleep before he turned off his lamp.

----------------------------

Leading up to Friday, Bradley kept trying to sneak off to confirm the plans he made for your birthday. But when he tried to call the lounge in Del Mar first thing in the morning, nobody answered, and if he tried later in the day, there was always an interruption. And that interruption was usually you. On Thursday evening, he finally managed to sneak away to the garage where he planned on working out as soon as he made the phone call.

Once he verified that you were nowhere in sight or within earshot, he had his phone pressed to his ear. When someone answered, he quickly said, "Hi, this is Bradley Bradshaw. I just wanted to confirm my rental agreement for the rooftop space for tomorrow night. I have the hour-long private event planned."

"Yes, sir. The space and the DJ are all yours from nine to ten o'clock tomorrow night."

"Great," he replied, head still on a swivel even though he was pretty sure you were doing a load of laundry inside the house. That's when you came strolling into the garage with a snack in your hand, and he quickly ended the call after a muttered thank you. "Hey," he told you as he awkwardly tossed his phone onto the tool bench and picked up one of his dumbbells.

You stood there in one of his old, stretched out tee shirts and a pair of maternity shorts and chewed on an unsalted pretzel. "Who were you talking to?" you asked. He should have known he wasn't going to get away with you not noticing.

"Uh... nobody," he muttered, and you raised one eyebrow in response. He sighed. "I don't want to tell you, because it's a surprise for your birthday tomorrow, okay?"

You smiled and told him, "Okay, Roo. No worries." You bit into another pretzel, and Bradley realized how tired you looked.

"Did you finish eating dinner?"

"No," you replied softly. "I just want a few pretzels. I have like no appetite."

Your next appointment with Dr. Morris was coming up in a week, and he had been wondering if it was bad that you hadn't gained really any weight since before Christmas. Work had been very busy for you the past few days with the arrival of some sort of new scientific equipment that completely baffled him. You were exhausted after one round of sex now, which was definitely a change of pace from a month ago. He almost blushed when he thought about how the two of you spent your first wedding anniversary.

"I think you need to eat something with some substance or protein or something, Sweetheart."

"I can't," you snapped. "Everything else makes me feel awful. You should try being pregnant, Bradley. It kind of sucks."

He didn't know how to respond, because the last thing he wanted to do was piss you off the night before your birthday. "Okay. Well, will you let me know if I can get you anything?"

You nodded as you chewed up another pretzel before yawning. "I came out to watch you get all sweaty for a minute before I head to bed."

"In that case," he said, laying back on his bench, "let me get started, birthday girl."

You were smiling again as he unlocked his barbell and got to work.

----------------------------

You woke up on your birthday to the feel of Bradley's hand on your hip and his voice in your ear, slowly coaxing you from your dream. "Happy birthday, Sweetheart." You rolled over and were met with his brown eyes and his messy bed head, and he collected you in his arms. "It's my second favorite day of the year."

His body was warm, and the last thing you wanted to do was go to work today. "Pretty soon it will be your third favorite day of the year," you croaked. When his brow furrowed, you guided his hand to your belly and said, "Don't even try to tell me the Nugget's birthday won't surpass it."

Your husband shook his head. "It'll be a tie," he whispered, kissing your forehead as the baby thumped around. "Hey, Rosie is saying happy birthday, too!"

You moaned softly. "Rosie is hungry but doesn't seem to like any foods right now."

Bradley ran his fingers along your cheek before kissing that spot. "I'm hoping the hot sauce restaurant will hit the spot for you tonight. Plus I have a fun surprise for afterwards."

It was worth a try. Hot sauce was one of the only things that didn't sound disgusting to you at the moment. In fact, Bradley poured you a little bowl of your favorite kind for you to dip your granola bar into while he made some coffee, and you did feel a bit better. Your stomach gurgled as he plopped down onto the piano bench to play the birthday song and sing to you. 

As ridiculous as he looked sitting there in his boxer briefs with his hair still a mess, you knew you could never love someone the way you loved him. He was going to be such a good dad. He already built the playset and had the nursery almost ready. He had a countdown going on his phone. He picked out an outfit for the baby to wear home from the hospital. And he took care of you all the time.

"I love you, Roo," you promised, wrapping him up in a hug and kissing along the gray hairs at his temple. "I can't wait for dinner later."

As soon as you were dressed in your hideous maternity tent, Bradley drove both of you to work, and you found yourself stifling yawn after yawn. You were beginning to doubt that you could make it through work let alone a whole date night, but you didn't want to tell him that. Not when he was playing your favorite songs and holding your hand while he drove. Not when he had his arm draped over your shoulders as he walked you all the way up to your office and kissed you like his life depended on it.

"I love you," he murmured before dropping down to one knee to press a kiss to your bump. "Be extra nice to Mommy today, little Nugget." You could feel her squirm around as she seemed to recognize his voice. "She's got a busy day planned for her birthday."

Then he was back on his feet, zipping his flight suit up fully, and with one last kiss, he was heading toward the elevators.

After just an hour in the lab, it was evident that the granola bar and hot sauce had not been enough for breakfast. You desperately wanted to sneak back to your office and dig around in your snack reserve in your desk to take the edge off if you could. You were currently waging a war between being hungry and simultaneously appalled by food.

"Are you okay?" Cat asked, nudging your arm with her elbow as Bickel droned on about the equipment that was on loan from Lemoore's engineering department. He was hoping that in the next two months, you and the others would be able to help him build a more streamlined interface for the F/A-18s. It wasn't that you weren't interested, because you were. You just couldn't focus very well at the moment.

"I'm fine," you told Cat who gave you side eye but stood quietly next to you. It would have been beneficial to have taken your birthday off and spent it in bed, but it was too late for that.

After an indeterminate amount of time, Bickel finally stopped talking, but then he called your name. You met his gaze and realized he looked very excited.

"Yes, sir?" you asked him, taking a step forward. You felt awful. Even the sound of your boot squeaking on the floor set your teeth on edge. Your head had begun to pound at some point in the morning, and now it felt like your brain was attacking your skull.

"Come help me test it out," he said, his voice grating on your nerves in a way it never had before.

Your next step was a bit of a stumble, and you tried to reach for the edge of the counter. You were going to throw up. The urge to gag left you reeling, searching for something to hold onto. Cat was calling your name as Bickel's eyes went wide, but when you reached for him, your hand caught on the instrumentation instead. It hurt a lot, but it didn't hurt nearly as much as your knee connecting with the cabinet. You needed someone to reach you before you hit the floor, but you weren't that lucky. You wrapped your arm around your belly the best you could, but as soon as you hit the floor, you were met with blackness.

-----------------------------

Bradley didn't really need practice dogfighting, but it certainly was fun anyway. Especially when he was up against Jake late in the morning. The taunting was comical and getting more absurd by the minute.

"Hey, Hangman, why don't you hang it up, man. You're done," he said as he shot the other pilot down for the third time in a row.

"Lay an egg, birdman," came the response through his helmet that made him chuckle.

Bradley was just pulling up on his throttle to gain some altitude and go again when he heard Maverick's voice crackle through his helmet. 

"Wheels on the tarmac. Both of you. Rooster first, then Hangman." The tone of his voice left Bradley wondering what was going on. The weather was beautiful, and he was actually enjoying this exercise immensely. In a few hours, he'd be feeding you anything you wanted off the dinner menu at your favorite restaurant before indulging you in your very own, private silent disco.

But as soon as he touched down and started to taxi back toward the hangar, he saw Maverick and Nat running his way. Then he heard her voice through his helmet. "Open your canopy. You need to get out now. Your wife is in the emergency room."

A chill colder than ice shot through his body. Something was wrong with you or the baby, and he hadn't been there to help you. "What?" he gasped, saliva starting to pool at the back of his tongue, making it hard to swallow. "What happened?"

Nat didn't respond, but as soon as his jet came to a stop, she had his ladder ready for him. The rush of fresh air that hit him as his canopy opened did nothing to make him feel better as she shouted for him to climb down. Something happened to one of his girls. He hadn't been there. As soon as he was able to control his body, he climbed down as quickly as he could, skipping the last few rungs. When Nat reached for his hand, he could see the alarmed look in her eyes, and he started crying.

"What happened?" he asked again, but she just pulled her car keys from her pocket while she grasped his hand, and he ran with her to the parking garage.

--------------------------------

Omg, why am I doing this? I hope Nat can drive fast. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 10

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[nightlyrayne]

TW: Lying, Manipulation, Cheating, Gabe Hicks

I have spent the last few days debating on whether or not I should speak up about my own past relationship and experience the TTRPG Gabe Hicks otherwise known by his handle as GabeJamesGames. I've decided to do so, in hopes that I may reach anyone that dated him and believed the were exclusive be given the same chance to know the truth as I have been given.

I'm going to cut this as short as I possibly can, mostly because everything is still very much scrambled in my head and trying to go through our past conversations has already been incredibly painful and difficult. I'm also sorry if this is a bit of a mess, or doesn't make sense anywhere. I tried to go back through our messages to be as accurate as possible, as I know I have a poor memory and an even worse sense of time.

Gabe and I started talking around late July of 2020 after I made a TikTok duetting him in his Matt from Dream Daddy cosplay. Things quickly become very flirtatious and suggestive between us. It did not take very long after that, somewhere between August and September we decided to be exclusive without labeling. I had firmly believed us to only be talking romantically and sexually with each other and expressed interest in becoming "officially" boyfriend and girlfriend when we met each other in person. Gabe agreed to this. Expressing he only had an interest in me and was more than happy to be exclusive.

In mid October I flew from Arizona back to my home state of Pennsylvania to meet him in person. He rented an Airbnb, though I did visit his home to meet his mom, one of his sisters, and his dog Leo. At one point during my stay, I was present for a live stream by his side as we carved pumpkins. I received no introduction when the stream began. Not my name, who I was, or what I was to him. I was simply there. And as a shy person who also has social anxiety, I said nothing because I was too nervous and didn't want to make things awkward. Though it felt awkward nonetheless. And immediately after the stream ended, he himself brought up the fact that he forgot to mention me. In the moment my only thought was "Well, at least he realized". And let it drop because I didn't want to have a fight.

Going home was extremely rough for me. I am the type of person that when I fall, I fall hard. I become very attached. And leaving was heartbreaking. The only thing that has helped was that he'd given me one of his shirts and had spoken about the possibility of moving in together down the road.

After that, things remained steady for a few more months. Though the issue of him wanting to remain completely private bothered me greatly. I brought up the fact multiple times, already apologizing while bringing it up because I felt like I was being too needy. In a way, I suppose I was gaslight myself, which made it all the easier for him. Especially when all I had ever asked was for him to put he was in a relationship on his social medias to help ease my anxiety. I expressed that my confidence in relationships came from having a partner who at least expressed that they were in a relationship. I didn't ask for my name nor my social media to be given. Though a part of me had definitely wanted that has well. I asked him for a compromise of just having "Taken" or "In a relationship" on his social medias. But every time I brought it up, he would claim he was already compromising by letting me meet his family and having his friends know about me. (Though whether his friends actually knew about me is unknown, as I don't remember having met or spoken to anyone of them.) At one point he even told me he had a stalker in the Netherlands and was worried about possibly upsetting her and having her come after him or I.

Things got harder after he got his new apartment February. Messages got less and less. By March hadn't received any 'I loves you's or 'I miss you's since January. I was getting more anxious about his growing number of followers and flirtatious behavior online, so I was being up being slightly public more and more. Around late May, early June, I could tell he just was no longer interested. He wasn't pointing in any effort. And while I had desperately wanted to make it work, I could tell he did not want to make it work. So I suggested stepping down from being romantic to just being friends. We never spoke after that, but we remained mutuals on TikTok and I would occasionally see him liking me stuff. Which, unfortunately, gave me more hope that I still want something to him than I would have liked.

I believed he had truly cared about me at some point during our relationship. But on Wednesday, my friend sent me a reddit post about him. I spent the whole day going through everything I could remember and wondering if he had been cheating on me as well. I posted my timeline of dating him on the Reddit post and was unfortunately informed that my timeline over lapped with TWO other people. One of them being the person he had claimed to me was a stalker.

I tell my story, though I was clueless until now, in hopes that anyone else who was hurt knowingly or unknowingly will find my story. That if they didn't know what kind of person Gabe was, they do now. And if they had already found out and haven't been in contact with any of his other exes, please know you are not alone. Please, please, please feel free to message me. And I am so sorry for the pain he has caused you, myself, and who knows how many others.

[brick-van-dyke]

// vent (includes some very heavy topics)

//TW: trauma, panic, fight or flight, C-PTSD, abuse apologia, warped concept of reality, hypervigilance, paranoia, violence, thoughts of violence, anger issues? Maybe? Idk.

So, for the last few days my grandfather has been over, and he's been far away from me and everything, so it's fine and all. *But* lately my mental health has been at a low and everything he's said, every little tiny raise of his voice (not even at me or necessarily aggressive), or little gesture or wave or joke sends me into a state of defensiveness. I'm always readying myself for him to be a jerk and going through what to do. I'm always on edge.

Today in particular, I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before and the heat sapped my energy even more (it was 38C and humid today) so I was irritable. I'm angry at everything and still very on edge. So when I had to deal with the inevitability of being home alone while my mum had to go work while I had to wait for my aunt to pick up my grandfather, I was left with very frayed nerves. Sure, we weren't even around each other and were at opposite sides of the house and I had my door closed, but even then, with the one or twice we spoke about the logistics of him leaving and me locking the dogs out because I was also leaving afterwards? I was very on edge and felt angry at him, my mum, everyone really. I know she has to go to work and this situation where he had to suddenly stay over for a while came unexpectedly, but I still feel resentful over the fact we ended up alone despite everything. It still *feels* as if she doesn't believe he every actually hurt me and that I'm fine. Which hey, maybe is true, but also maybe it isn't; he's a frail old man who gets confused and is only even here because he's sick and just had a heart operation. But even so? I was already irritable and this entire thing didn't help.

From there, I went from anxious to angry to imagining punching him to remembering every little or big thing he and others have done to make me feel so afraid, not in control of myself and so damn angry. I started feeling stuck in those feelings until I eventually became numb, calmed myself down, then saw him again and felt all that calmness disappear instantly. Now, home and wanting to just go tf to sleep, I'm stuck here in my thoughts, feelings and memories, and this seething anger that almost delves into violance and bloodlust for everyone who's ever hurt me.

I feel a mixture of that, disorientation, rejection, pleasure (from sensations born of memories of the kind of abuse, which leads into:) disgust (from thoughts and memories), fear, anger (at others and also myself), relief (from feeling validated and believing myself when I feel stuff, as if I assume everything's a lie because every time I've told my family any of this they've assumed that much), and of course paranoia of every potential future situation and how I could handle it. Considering my mental state right now, a lot of those "handling it" is with violance. Which isn't helpful for my mental state either especially with my desire to NOT let that rage control me and make me violent.

Which also brings me to another thing. So I tend to always numb my emotions and try to be constantly calm, but I'm starting to realise that's due to suppressing that exact type of anger and I'm constantly terrified of it which means I push my feelings down deeper out of fear. So. There's that as well.

Right now, I'm really just trying to calm my breathing and try not to fall into that anger. And trying not to imagine me stabbing him, or me shoving my head through a wall in frustration, or breaking anything. Sometimes, rage makes me fantasise about releasing said rage, but then I remember that breaking things and people to release it isn't a good idea and I push that away. Maybe I should invest in another stress ball. Or paint. Instead of breaking anything. So now I'm here, writing this out (which is helping quite a lot).

I'm in pain, but at least I can use it to write so I guess there's that. I'm trying to look at the positives, and I'm at least in the mood to fixate on that.

For future context for people who come across this vent and read all of this (thanks for caring and legit I'm sorry you all had to stumble upon this mess of a situation to read, it will happen again) the situations I've referred to with my grandfather and others are as noted below:

**// TW: CSA, incest, manipulation, grooming, lying, abuse apologia and, of course, abuse.**

So my grandfather touched my inappropriately as a child, touched my inner thigh when he was drunk, and he's consistently sexually harassed me/ been a creep all throughout my childhood as well. I'm very suspicious my uncle also tried to groom me as well considering he was extra "close" and followed me around constantly, offered me alcohol as a child (my grandfather did the same thing too) and persisted even when I refused. I also very distinctly remember that I was always afraid to be left alone with him, which is...very damn telling. Actually I felt that way with both so uh. Yeah.

Adding to this, there is also suspicion around a possible situation with either uncle or someone else (memory is hazy) who may have also assaulted me in a park, who also always poked me when I told him not to because it made me very uncomfortable and scared at the time, as well as several other instances of similar types of abuse. Adding, my grandfather is also a pisshead to my mother and has yelled at her for minor shit out of her control, berated her, kicked her out of his house when she was visiting her dying mother back when she was alive then went back to allowing her back (all after neglecting said mother as she was dying), and did many other shitty things.

My mother also defended him and tried to make out I imagined the fact he touched me as a child. And also had always trusted him around me when I was a child. She's now more aware of it and trying a bit more at least and somewhat trying to be understanding, but I'm pretty sure she thinks it's impossible he willingly hurt anyone and doubts me still. At least she acknowledges I feel like shit whenever he's around though and doesn't blame me like before. So that's part of why my anger can easily end up directed at her when I feel this way. Aaaand given that she's lied to me about things before regarding things that have happened so that they seem more innocent and people look better than how I remember them actually acting...yeah, I'm gonna say it's not fully undeserved, at least the irritation and wish she had been more honest and didn't try to hide shit. That just made me less safe while making her feel like I was. It wasn't for me but her, I think.

Anyway. That's the basic context behind this so I'm here trying not to lose my shit before he eventually leaves and seeing if I can actually function because...it's gonna be damn hard if I can't when we literally don't have a choice but to eventually live together in two seperate dwellings (locked from each other) on the same property/ land.

[holden-caulfield]

Stairway To Heaven

↪︎ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Summary: draco and reader are best friends. Or so she thinks.

Warnings: one swear word i think.

Word Count: 1555

This is not inspired by the song in any way, but the title was fitting sooo

//

You and Draco had been friends for a very long time, since you could remember, and yet it wasn't unusual for you to be found arguing with the blond at least once a day. Sometimes you would argue about his rude attitude or the latest student he had bullied, but most of the times you simply wanted to tease him. Apparently, seeing what new witty remark he could come up with was the highlight of you day. You loved the banter that characterized your friendship and you couldn't really imagine your life without it.

"I'm telling you, you two are made for each other!" squealed Pansy from the big couch in your common room.

"We are just friends, Pansy! Friends!" you replied incredulously as you plopped down beside her.

"Yeah, just friends... Y/n, it's so obvious!"

"Are you sure you're okay?" you asked feigning concern as you put your hand on her forehead to check her temperature.

"Oh, shove off!" she scolded, swatting your hand away. "Don't tell me you've never thought about it!"

"Of course not!" you lied.

You had thought about you and Draco being something more quite a few times now, but the prospect of ruining everything was enough for you to put that thought aside. You found yourself daydreaming about his soft blond hair and his sharp jawline more than you cared to admit. Not to talk about his eyes, always looking at you and making you feel as if you were the most precious thing in the world.

But you couldn't ruin your friendship. He probably didn't feel the same way and even if he did you couldn't risk losing what you had. The ease, the trust, the teasing.

In that moment, someone descended the stairs of the boys' dormitory, Draco. You and Pansy looked up at him, eyes wide. He stopped behind the couch, confused by the weird stares that you and Pansy were giving him.

"What?"

"Have you heard us?" you asked, slightly panicked. You didn't know why you were feeling this anxious, maybe some part of you wanted him to feel something for you other than friendly affection.

"Why? Were you talking about me?" his face instantly lit up with a smug smile and he leaned on the couch with his elbows.

"Why yes, in fact. I was just telling Pansy how immensely insufferable you are." you retorted, feeling incredibly relieved knowing that he hadn't heard you.

He got up from his previous place and resumed his path towards the door of the common room, scoffing. Before exiting, he added another comment, smirking playfully, "Oh and Pansy, me and y/l/n? Really? I hoped you thought more highly of me."

You knew it was nothing more than a joke, but why did it hurt? He had obviously heard you, he heard you saying that you couldn't even picture him as your boyfriend and he had said the same thing, yet it hurt more than you imagined. Maybe Pansy was right.

The next few days, you tried to forget about your new-found feelings for your best friend and your last conversation, but it was easier said than done. You felt as if you owed him some kind of explanation even though he expressively said he saw you just as a friend. Nothing more.

"Draco, wait a moment!" you began, preventing him from entering your first class of the day. He simply raised his brows and you continued.

"I wanted to apologize. For the other day. I shouldn't have said that."

"Said what?" you rolled your eyes, he was one of the smartest people you knew and yet he could be really daft sometimes.

"About you. That i could never see you as something else."

"But you are right. We are friends, nothing else." with that he left you alone and entered the classroom. You didn't know whether his answer cheered you up or devastated you. Definitely the second.

You tried behaving as always, but he seemed to be ignoring you. You had almost all of your classes together and yet he managed to avoid you every single time. Even when you could actually talk to him, he was different, he was suddenly very cold. He was with everyone but he had never been with you and this really bothered you. So you decided to confront him, you decided that you would have told him what you felt: your friendship was already in jeopardy, might as well completely ruin it. The idea terrified you, Draco had always been by your side and imagining a life without him seemed impossible. Maybe you did like him. Maybe you did love him.

"Draco! Draco, we have to talk!" but Draco sped up, not even glancing up. He had no right to ignore you like that so you quickened your pace to match his.

"Draco, we need to talk!" but the boy continued on walking, ignoring you completely.

"Fine! If you don't want to talk, you are going to listen." you asserted and Draco simply covered his ears. Mouth agape, you stared at him, still walking, almost running. The audacity of this man.

You swatted his hands away and he glared at you. He had never glared at you, not in that way. Pure hatred seemed to dance in his icy eyes, even colder than usual. You took a deep breath and started your speech which eventually turned in an incoherent mumbling.

"Listen Draco, i don't know what i did to deserve this, but i highly doubt i did something so spiteful to earn this kind of treatment." he still wasn't looking at you and continued his way towards the common room, but in his eyes something changed, he looked almost ashamed.

"You are incredibly important to me, you've never shown me anything but support and that's why i could never forgive myself if i involuntarily hurt you in some way. You are my best friend, for Merlin's sake!" Draco's eyes seemed to harden again and a scowl started to paint on his face.

"And i won't deny you that you're even more than a friend to me." Draco finally side glanced at you as the two of you were now walking up the stairs, surrounded by hundred of paintings looking at you curiously.

"I care about you so much and you don't even look at me. Every day i look forward to see your stupid face and hear your stupid voice, to have one of our usual stupid conversations and hear your stupid laugh so that every night i can go to sleep and think about your beautiful face and your beautiful voice, about our conversations and your laugh that i wouldn't trade for the whole bloody world." Draco was proceeding increasingly slower and you were walking side by side, trying to get him to look you in the eyes as you kept on going upwards.

"At least look at me, you stupid, unbearable, prissy, arrogant, pretty, handsome git!" your face was red with anger but he didn't stop. "Because what i'm trying to tell you is that i l-"

Draco abruptly grasped your waist and pulled you closer to him. You had been so engrossed in your discourse that you hadn't even noticed that the stairs were changing and that you were about to fall, one foot already dangling in the air. But Draco caught you and you were now pressed against his chest while he gazed at the void you were about to fall in. His chest rose up and down wildly and you could hear his heart thumping at a ridiculously quick pace under your cheek.

The stairs stopped again in front of a corridor but neither of you seemed to able to move. Then, Draco grasped your shoulders pulling you away from him but still exceedingly close.

"Are you ok?" his eyes searched yours for any signs of hurt and you just stared back.

"Are you talking to me now?" you asked sternly, making his expression go from one of concern to one of sorrow in a matter of seconds.

"I'm sorry, y/n." he admitted, eyes glinting as he held you firmly in front of him.

"For what? For being an asshole?"

"For not telling you before that i never wished for us to be just friends." his unexpected confession caused you to stare at him for a few seconds before a huge grin spread on your face and you took his pale face in your hands, which turned bright pink at the sudden contact. You kissed him, you finally kissed him.

"I advise keeping such displays of affection for closed doors." boomed a voice in front of you and you and Draco leapt backwards, clinging to the railing behind you with both hands. Snape eyed each of you with scorn before passing between you two and descending the stairs. "10 points from Slytherin."

As he got out of your sight, you couldn't help but burst out laughing and Draco followed swiftly. You then looked down at your feet, a big grin still plastered on your face. He inched closer, lifting your chin up to face him.

"So... you think i'm handsome." he said smugly.

"I also said that you are unbearable."

"Yes, but you think i'm handsome."

"But i-" he cut you off by reconnecting your lips together.

"I have to admit that i kinda like this new way of shutting me up."

//

Taglist <3

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[downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles]

We Met Within This Screen (chapt. 4)

[Donnie x fem reader]

sfw, chapt. 3, pt. 4 here

Sighing, you set your phone face-down after sending your last text to Bo. What an abrupt end to something that had been so good. You were confused, a little taken aback and honestly sad. You'd thought the two of you were getting along well. Bo was smart, well-spoken, funny, and all around, a really nice person. He listened to your venting and seemed like he had a response to everything. Always, he had some random fact to hit you with whether it was about biology, chemistry, astronomy, language—you weren't sure where he got all his knowledge from. He'd never mentioned school, if he went. He didn't mention a lot about himself, actually. 

People come and go, someone had once told you. You guessed that he was one of those passersby, as much as you wanted it to be more. 

More?

When had you started thinking that? More what? 

You were tempted to pick your phone back up, to check and see if there were any new messages. Not that you could expect much; Bo had been so curt about his exit from your friendship that it was left at his last text, "Again, I'm sorry." You wanted to say something, but what was there to say? It was his decision. A sudden, uncharacteristic, and frankly odd decision, but still, his. Thinking back on it, you tried to remember any instance you might have crossed a line, or maybe said something you shouldn't have. That's what made you open up the messages again, scrolling up and up and looking for anything weird, but finding nothing of the sort. It had all been normal up until when you texted him about the clamor you'd heard outside your apartment building. And then it went flat—he didn't even respond to it, just said his apology and his goodbye before going offline.

You wanted to take your mind off it with a game, but as you looked through your list and saw the one you and him had played together, you knew it was near ruined for you. It just wasn't the same to play alone or with your acquaintances. An otherwise boring game made fun by one particular person, but now it was barely what it used to be.

Unfortunate. 

The next morning might have felt more normal if it weren't for the fact that everyone was pretending like it was. For the sake of secrecy from their father. As far as Donnie knew, Splinter still didn't know anything was or had been going on, and he intended to keep it that way, too. He wanted to tell his father, he did, but all he saw coming of that was reprimanding, or at the very least an awkward discussion, and possibly, time in the Hashi. He was already feeling the aftermath of his actions; he didn't need any more. Especially as he checked the messaging app one last time, only to find it empty, aside from her goodbye. 

Donnie stood at the kitchen counter, mask off and groggy as usual, scrounging for something to eat. Maybe a cup of coffee (if they had any), which he was looking for when Mikey bounced in. Normally, his brothers would avoid him when he was in one of his "moods". He hadn't a passionate temper like Raph but a slow-brewing one, the kind that festers until it's alleviated or boils over. Cold quiet was his thing. 

But Donnie knew why he was here. So did Mikey. He had that familiar glint of mischief in his eye. 

There was no coffee, so he settled for some kind of pastry they'd found while looking through the dumpsters. Really, the item was fine—only the packaging and appearance was defective. It was a wonder just how much food grocers wasted over arbitrary reasons, but regardless, he was happy to oblige his secret sweet tooth. 

From the corner of his eye he could see Mikey waiting eagerly for him to turn around and regard him. To listen to whatever he was about to talk his ear off with. Their youngest brother was more often than not bright-eyed in the morning, something Donnie's morning fog could not always entertain. He picked at his food at the counter for a moment, mind wandering back to his night and subsequently,  the unresolved feelings. Dreadfully unresolved, he groaned inside. And they probably would continue to be, as after sleeping on what had happened the previous night, thinking about her, he realized something that made his face flush. Oh, no. 

He froze in his place, suddenly very awake. He looked over his shoulder and found Mikey was distracted rummaging through the food for his own breakfast, and with a faint cringe, tried to sneak out of the kitchen undetected. No way would he admit to Mikey's words on the rooftop that night, the ones that made him flinch with embarrassment. The same ones that bounced around his head despite all attempts to stuff it down. "You like her, bro." 

Things involving him could never be simple, could they?

Abandoning his plate, Donnie began tip-toeing out of the room right behind Mikey. His foot hit the leg of a chair and caused a creak—he winced. As he thought, Mikey looked back, "Why are you sneaking around? You didn't finish your breakfast. Can't go on patrol on an empty stomach, dude." 

Before Donnie could even answer, he continued in a whisper, "Plus—"

"Whatever it is, Mikey, not now," he cut his brother off, "last night was the end of it, alright? You need to let it go." It sounded harsher than he would have preferred, but he felt the need to drill it into Mikey's skull that it was over, that it was just something he'd have to deal with. There were a lot of things they dealt with despite not liking it. With time, he'd forget—more accurately, be able to ignore— and maybe he could find the same enjoyment in his brothers once again. That sort of friendship.  But at the moment, it was ruined for him—he got a taste of something more and it was taken away what felt like second later. 

Mikey's face fell. Donnie couldn't stand that, seeing him upset over something he'd said. He had a bit of a soft spot for their youngest, no doubt. Just wasn't always obvious. 

"Aren't you afraid you'll regret it?" he asked, voice soft. 

Fear was a strong word, but of course Donnie was anxious. It was the thing holding him back from being able to simply compartmentalize everything, to put it in a box and on the metaphorical "deal with this later because it's uncomfortable right now" shelf. Or to deal with it at all, as ignoring his problems with studying and unrelated research and experimentation wasn't exactly prime management. He knew that. 

After a while of thought, Donnie was able to give him an answer. "Well…I mean, how could I not be?" he inquired in return before leaning out of the doorway to scan the lair. Everyone was either in their room, the dojo, or there, in the kitchen. Mikey has always made him feel most comfortable, and he was sure that was the case for the other three, just that they had other ways of showing it. He was certainly easy to talk to; if Donnie weren't so careful of his mouth and what came out of it, he could probably spew way more to him than he liked. Mikey could come through sometimes, though, which prompted him to keep going, "It was a big thing for me. We've been disconnected from everything else for so long that it was just...exciting, to get a look into what it's like. Being 'regular', you know?" 

Mikey sat down on one of the bar stools, feet idly shuffling against the floor as he folded his arms and rested on them. "You didn't hear it from me, but I'm a little jealous," he said playfully, but Donnie was aware that it was the case. "Maybe I'm pushing you to go after her because I'm trying to live vic–vicrous–v–…" 

Donnie smiled, he couldn't help it. "'Vicariously'?" he suggested. 

"Yeah! That," Mikey beamed, nodding. "You get what I mean." 

"I understand." 

The conversation died off soon after as Donnie decided to get breakfast over with and do whatever needed to be done before they left for patrol that night, darkness falling earlier due to the upcoming winter. It wasn't too cold for them to be out yet, though, so that still meant a chilly patrol in the Autumn breeze. He hated the cold. 

As Donnie was making himself busy at a circuit board in his lab, he heard the beads in the doorway shift, and to his surprise, Splinter came shuffling in. 

"Sensei?" 

He put down his soldering iron, spinning around in his chair. "Something the matter?" 

Splinter ran his fingers along a shelf on the wall as he wandered by, careful to not disturb any of the items lining it. Beakers, recently-repaired electronic parts, projects put on pause, things that would loathe to be broken. 

"There is always something," Splinter replied enigmatically, "I would not be here if that weren't true. Would you agree?"

 I'm compromised!

Donnie had a strong but hidden dislike for vague speaking, even if he did it himself sometimes. When spoken to you it's much more bothersome. 

Splinter waited for his answer, looking at him expectantly. "Donatello?" 

"Yeah, um…yes, I would—I would agree. I suppose. So...what is it again?" Damn his stutter, he couldn't get away with anything, hardly. He was only able to stifle it just enough. 

Picking a random pipette on the desk next to Donnie, Splinter studied the green liquid close for a second before his nose twitched, and he put it back down. "You have been very busy lately, it seems. What is it that you work on all day in here? Or are you playing games?" 

Donnie's heart thumped. His hand found that particular spot on his neck and began to scratch, and Splinter looked at him dead in the eye. He should have known; there was no hiding anything from their father, he was too good. Stupidly, infuriatingly perceptive. Donnie caught himself scratching that spot and slid his hand away, he hadn't even noticed he was picking at it again. He knows, Mikey told him, I probably look like a guilty idiot right now, I'm—

"I haven't been playing games," Donnie blurted out. 

Quizzically, Splinter gestured at the computer screen on the other wall, which had the menu of the game he'd opened up just earlier. Reminiscing over it even though it had been only a couple of days since he and his friend had last played together, but he stared at the screen as if it had been years. It made him realize how easily he'd gotten attached to that. Well, to her. He was on the fence about whether he wanted to try playing again or not and left it on.

Oh, you have to be kidding. I'm a fool in a man's shoes. 

Donnie laughed uncomfortably, "You caught me, Sensei," he said, "I guess I have been playing games more often lately." 

It was honest enough, right? 

Splinter hummed and cupped his hands behind his back. "I see."

Straightening out, Donnie dipped his head a little. "I'll...lay off on them. Sorry for lying. I've just been really distracted recently." 

"Liars never prosper, my son. Take care of yourself." 

He then left. 

So he didn't know. Donnie still couldn't say it with any degree of confidence, because Splinter would trip them up here and there, but it was assurance enough to know that if Splinter was aware of what had gone on between the four brothers and his new—rather, former—human friend, he would have confronted Donnie about it. Or all of them, considering it was now a secret they were all in on actively hiding. And on top of that, Raph and Leo didn't know Mikey was conspiring. Layers and layers, he sighed. 

With Splinter gone, he let out a breath of relief. Too close. Much. But, swiftly evaded. A chuckle left him, not of humor, but more because he was actually feeling a little confident. Just a little. They were really hiding something from Splinter; it was reason enough to pat himself on the back, nothing got past Splinter. Except for him.

Briefly, he thought of Mikey's outlandish idea as he spun back around in his chair. "Mikey, you are crazy," he mumbled to himself as he took his soldering iron, resuming his work from before. "But..."

Chapter 5

[boop-le-snoot]

masterpost • main masterlist • taglist & faq

Introductory prologue. The main pairing will be established ironstrange x reader. This story will be rated explicit, have some canon-typical violence and language. The 'fuck' harvest is bountiful this time of the year. Updates - irregular so far, I'm posting it as I go.

No y/n, no "you", no name - nickname only, no reader description - race/age/body type neutral, she/her pronouns. Please leave a comment if you spot a stray 'blushing' or the likes, I write as it flows and sometimes miss those words when I proofread. I try to be inclusive of all my readers.

"Your total is twelve dollars, seventeen cents," I rattled off on autopilot, casting a glance at the cash register and plastering an automatic smile onto my face. The pleasant expression was frozen on it, stuck like glue, despite the news I had received earlier in the day. "Thank you, have a nice day," I doubted the customer actually heard my words.

One of those business-types, wearing a tailored two-piece, with a Bluetooth headset attached to their ear and brain always a mile away, our little coffee shop a mild interruption in their daily routine of making more and more money. "Hello, how can I help you?" I addressed the next customer, my eyes unseeing, gliding over their face and to the storefront where I noticed we were running low on eclairs and carrot cake.

"Hey, Starlight," the woman's voice was familiar, tone soothing, as I snapped my eyes to meet a pair of reddish-brown ones, staring at me with concern. "The usual," our city's very own superhero; Wanda Maximoff stood before me with her head curiously tilted to the side and her brother hovering behind her, examining the assortment of various cakes on display. "Long day?"

"You have no idea," I sighed, sending off the organic, single-use cups with scribbles off to Dave, our barista. Wanda's order was large, usually about ten or twelve coffees and quite a few treats, so I donned on some nitrile gloves to package the treats while Dave handled the drinks with practiced ease. I admired his stoicism. "Might be seeing a bit less of me," the woman's eyebrows rose in displeasure at my admission.

"Tony won't be happy," Wanda mumbled, side-eyeing the backdoor behind which my boss usually resided during the day. "You got fired?" The words attracted the attention of her brother. Pietro was immediately at her side, joining into the concerned staring.

"Nope," I popped the 'p', methodically shoving the food in its packaging. "The café is expanding hours and our shifts are being split now. Jeremy is dead set on me working the graveyard shift, so I'll be here six AM to two PM," I couldn't help the sigh that left my lips.

My boss, Jeremy, had opened his boulangerie little over two years ago, and as he had predicted, it set off almost immediately. The place was located almost in the heart of the dozen corporate sky-rises full of busy, wealthy people who liked their things to be both instant and luxurious. Jeremy had fit right in with the law sharks and business vultures, if you ask me, with his penchant for demanding the impossible.

I was expecting an increase in work hours, I wasn't going to lie - our little cafe was busy nearly all the time it was open - but the fact that he chose to split a day's shift came as a punch to the gut. Like most service staff, I made most of my money from the tips, and they and they only were the only reason I stayed in a place with a shrew for a boss and the worst health insurance in the area. Thankfully, the rich businessmen from local offices didn't count their money and left me more than generous tips.

The coffee machine beeped for the last time as Dave passed me the three cupholders before I carefully bagged them, arranging the treats on top. I saw Wanda lick her lips at the aromas coming from the paper bag before Pietro snatched them out of my grasp. I rattled off the total, catching Wanda's eye as she passed me several twenty dollar bills, waving off my attempt to return the change.

"Penny for your wandering thoughts?" She smiled warmly as I chuckled at the question I've grown to expect with a quiet sort of joy.

The first time she'd wandered in, soaking wet from the rain and looking as lost as a child in a mall, ten minutes before closing time, I was reading my book right at the counter as I waited for the coffee machine to clean itself. I hadn't even noticed the quiet woman until her words startled me out of the book-induced trance and I shamefully had to ask her to repeat herself, hastily shoving my book under the counter. She smiled at me, shyly, and asked me about my reading instead of rattling an order for one of the sickly sweet caffeine concoctions female customers seemed to love. And she returned in a few days, asking the same question after taking a careful look at my face.

"And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about." I took a careful moment to recall a paragraph from the book I was currently reading, Murakami's 'Kafka on the Shore'. It seemed fitting, with all that had been going on in my life recently. I was still caught in the middle of the storm, unsure if I'd make it out but hoping for it nonetheless.

"That's beautiful," Pietro smiled at me, the tips of his silver hair reflecting the lights of the cafe's baroque style chandeliers. I barely managed to smile at him as he was already speeding off, the entrance door banging shut behind a blur of white and blue. Each time he did that, I couldn't help but wonder how he managed to not spill any of the hot beverages.

"Because it's true," Wanda added with a comforting smile. I nodded in agreement, hoping some of her positive attitude would dissipate the sense of doom I'd been lugging around all day. She departed, taking the sense of comfort with her, as I caught the tail end of something shouted in Sokovian - something that sounded exactly in place, coming from one disgruntled sibling to another.

When the residents of the nearby Stark tower began frequenting my workplace, I barely had the composure to stifle my quiet fangirling to socially acceptable levels. Not long after the Scarlet Witch turned a semi-regular, she started bringing her colleagues with her - Hawkeye at first, who was a decent, normal dude; he looked like an exasperated dad and Pietro appeared every thing the rambunctious son, as the younger man peppered the older man with questions about the cakes on our display.

They all had fancy names, but at the bottom of it, a chocolate cake was a chocolate cake. That much I told them, with a snort, earning myself a lopsided grin and a generous tip as I patiently listed off the more commonly used, simplified designations for the twins as the knowledge of them being European immigrants crossed my mind.

After Hawkeye came the Black Widow, and then Captain America with a sunny smile and his moody boyfriend in tow. While Bucky Barnes' expression was generally sour, the man had a wicked sweet tooth, shoveling frosted, glazed treats at the rate of a competitive eater. Both men were extremely polite if not very chatty and tipped well.

Tony Stark himself - well, he was a special one. His sense of humour trailed on the fine line of obscene, oftentimes raising the eyebrows of nearby people standing in line. I wasn't born yesterday, either: years of customer service work left me with little-to-no surprise regarding overzealous men and I could quip back equally as sharply, just slightly south of Tony's own jokes. He never overstepped, however, and with time, I developed a quiet appreciation for our small talks.

Which did brighten up my day, if only a little. "A little birdy told me your boss is being a douchebag. Want me to clean up that muck?" Tony was, as usual, wearing a bespoke suit and sunglasses, which he'd pushed up to his forehead as he frivolously leaned on the counter after placing his order.

I sighed, remembering Wanda's words. I didn't know what to expect from the eccentric billionaire; last of all, I didn't want any handouts. I'd started a search for a second part-time job the very day I got told my pay would be essentially cut in half. "No need, Mr. Stark, I'm gonna be fine and dandy," I replied with a smile that I was sure didn't really reach my eyes. "We'll still be able to resume our nice chit-chat at brunch on Saturdays," I winked, hoping to keep up the usual light atmosphere of our banter.

"I told you to call me Tony!" He exclaimed, like always, shaking his head and glaring at the back door. "Yeah, no," the man had absolutely no chill. "I'll still sic the IRS on him," the last part was said quietly. Mr. Stark often spoke to himself.

I laughed at the rich-kid, spoilt way he was acting. A grown man with an attitude of a teenager and a sweet tooth to match one - except for his coffee. That was always the strongest, blackest one we had on hand. I hadn't even heard of a triple espresso until Mr. Stark had waltzed in, skipping the line and filling the air around him with the smells of cologne that smelled like money, motor oil, iron and soot.

The moment I opened my e-mail at home, I felt my gloomy mood worsen, Mr. Stark's words echoing in my head. I'd sent my resumes to two dozen places and only a handful even bothered to reply - all preemptive rejections, there weren't businesses needing a part-time employee with a useless degree, who could only work evenings. Except bars, but they required some sort of certificate for bartenders and lots and lots of bare skin for waitresses. I tried to steer away from that part of the industry as much as I could, saving it as a last resort option.

It had come down to browsing Craigslist as I ate my way through a carton of cheap take-out, too exhausted to cook and too anxious to go out to the nearby bodega after 9 PM. One more negative side of working late shift - making my way home in the dead of the night in NYC and hoping Spider-Man was hanging out nearby should a thug decide on me to be their next victim. The joys of big city life.

As the column of various ads stared at me with various suspicious offers to make quick money, ads for 'young, sociable women' and I stared back at them in muted disgust. The 'looking for a job' section was much more sensible with the few ads I'd clicked on out of curiosity depicting people seemingly in a similar situation as me - short on money but not desperate enough to surrender their dignity to corporate greed. The decision was momentary - I'd started typing and hit the post button before I was through with my food, slapping my old laptop shut as soon as the as posted.

Hopefully, the creeps will stay away. The next couple of days stretched out slowly as I got up at the crack of dawn to open the shop, served the early birds whilst sipping my own matcha latte and clocked out not a second later than 2PM, taking home half the usual amount of tips. My e-mail remained as silent as ever, only a few suspicious replies to my ad, texts that I didn't even bother replying to. Human trafficking and pyramid schemes, was that all that NYC had to offer?

Apparently, not. Around 6PM, my phone dinged as a notification popped up and I scrambled to read it - all too aware of the upcoming rent day, and was pleasantly surprised with the contents of the e-mail, re-reading it several times to make sure there weren't any hidden stones under the water. I replied with my phone number, not expecting it to ring within minutes of hitting the send button.

"Hello?"

"Hi, we just corresponded," the voice on the other side was feminine but slightly rough, as if it's owner spent days chain-smoking. "I would like to invite you for a small interview, if you wouldn't mind."

I chewed on my lip in contemplation. "Could I ask you some questions first?" The levels of anxiety, I thought, were reasonable in the situation. It mutely gnawed at my chest.

"Sure," the woman agreed amicably. "My name is Odette, by the way," she mentioned off-handedly, the name fitting her voice in a strange way.

"Uh, well," I stammered. "You mentioned it's a herbal medicine shop, you're not selling weed under the counter, are you?" I voiced my worries meekly, hoping for an honest answer.

The woman laughed, a sharp, terse sound. "No, dear, I do not sell or possess anything illegal. I merely offer supplies for the locals that prefer natural, alternative medicine." She sounded jovial.

"Like - um, healing crystals?" I vaguely remembered reading about them on the internet, or seeing them in a YouTube video, perhaps.

"Yes, we sell those, too," her tone grew more joyful at the mention of the shiny rocks. I didn't think that they actually cured anything, to be honest, however I was willing to give it some credit - the placebo effect was a scientific fact. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

"Okay then," I chuckled nervously. "I'm free tomorrow after 3 PM."

"Grand. The shop is open until 10 PM, just say your name at the counter and I'll be right with you."

As soon as I hung up, relief and curiosity and trepidation blossomed within me, imagination unhelpfully supplying images of human trafficking documentaries, basements with chains and other, less horrifying but still unusual things. The pep talk over a wine glass that I had was necessary: it was a herbal shop, for fuck's sake. Worst case, I'm going to work with Karens who think the Earth is flat and quartz cures cancer. I could even get a funny story or two out of those, something to share with Bucky or Wanda in lieu of the usual book quotes I entertain them with.

The day went by smoothly, the café no more and no less busy than usual so after a brief detour back home to put on something that didn't smell like coffee grounds and yeast: comfortable pants and a soft sweater, something that would keep me warm but would not unnecessarily restrict any movement. My good luck charm, a large oval necklace with a shiny gold star in the middle, hung heavily around my neck, providing quiet comfort.

Heart thudding in my chest, I approached the old-style, inconspicuous building, double-checking the address before opening the old, heavy wooden door right at the corner of the building. It was like a movie scene, in a way - the day was overcast, meager sun rays shining through the lead curtain of clouds, the streets were clear and few honks rung out in the far end of block, sending a flock of pigeons into a lazy scatter over the slanted roof. The door creaked softly, the handle cold under my touch, instantly filling my nose with a strong smell of herbs so plentiful, I could not distinguish one from another.

Inside didn't look any less intriguing: the décor was outdated but somehow fitting and homely, high wooden shelves stocked with glass jars and wooden boxes with neatly placed labels on them. The counter was empty - save for a large, golden bell, which I timidly pressed.

The woman who emerged from behind the worn cotton curtains behind the counter most certainly was impressive. Tall and broad, with dark eyebrows and even darker eyes, she critically surveyed me for a moment, making me shiver under her gaze - and then she smiled, revealing rows of pearly white teeth and instantaneously losing the imposing aura around her.

"Um, hi- I'm-" I didn't get to finish my nervous stammering.

She interrupted me with a careless wave of her hand. "Here for the interview. Yes. Welcome, Star," her eyes briefly fell on my necklace while I struggled to swallow the unease.

I hadn't told her my nickname - to be honest, these days, I heard it more often than my given name. People quickly took notice of my love of star-patterned items and teased me relentlessly over it, losing heat only when I calmly went along with it, too used to hearing the same jokes since my early childhood.

Odette motioned me over, parting the curtains to reveal a tiny, but tastefully decorated hall with two doors on each side and a staircase at the far end of it. I followed her into the room on the left, which turned out to be a peculiar sort of office. I thought I noticed an Ouija board in there but wisely kept my mouth shut.

"I live on the floor above the shop so don't go throwing any parties while you're on the job," she remarked playfully, gesturing to a pot of tea. "It's peppermint, does wonders for calming one's demeanor," the gesture was sweet - and very telling.

I wondered if I looked as spooked as I felt. After all, it didn't seem like Odette and her business were fishy in any way, and the décor and atmosphere were quite... Appealing, in a way. Something magical, something belonging in Europe or on a high schooler's Pinterest board. I sipped my tea in-between questions, thinking how maybe, I could actually grow accustomed to this place.

The shopkeeper acted as if I'd already accepted the job and I - well, it's not like I had any other options waiting for me. The pay was more than I expected it to be, for such a small bodega and a part-time shift, and it would help me cover my bills with enough to spare. The customers were said to be mostly regular and undemanding, with a few rare exceptions, and should I need assistance, the owner was always a call and a floor away.

With a considerably lighter heart, I left to pad the damp sidewalk back towards my house. Thankfully, my new workplace was only a short walk away.

The tag list is open until the story is finished. Please use the 'taglist' Google form to request (top of the fic, clickable link).

@mikariell95 @letsby @sleep-i-ness @toomanyrobins @mostly-marvel-musings @persephonehemingway @schemefrenzy @lillsxd @bluecrazedandbeautiful @slothspaghettiwrites

[catzula]

always there to help

Synopsis: You suck at math, and who could be better suited for the job to help you, other than your brother's best friend, the born genius, Bakugou?

Genre: fluff

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x (Kirishima's sister)Reader

Warnings: Swearing, maybe some bad writing

A/N: So, I'm back! I'm sorry I haven't been writing anything lately, I just didn’t like anything I wrote, so, sorry about that. This one might seem a little all over the place too lol, but it’s because I inteded it to be a small drabble. but accidentally made it a 5.1k fic. So, it might not be one f my better works, but I had a lot of fun writing it!

BY THE WAY, 100 followers guys! Thank you so much for that!

You were working on your homework when you heard the doorbell. You sighed deeply, standing up and going to the door, not expecting to see your brother and his friend group to be standing on the other side.

One specific friend caught your eye, his spiky, ash blonde hair hard to miss. You could feel your heartbeat rising almost instantly, cheeks now a bit warmer than before. You wished you had worn something else, anything but pajama shorts and an oversize shirt, maybe combed your hair and wore perfume or something, but how could you know your brother was going to bring his friends home? 

Okay, maybe you should have known since they were over almost every day.

But since there was nothing you could do now to change the situation, you just smiled, inviting them in -you noticed how Bakugou hadn't even glanced your way once, and though this wasn't different then always, it proceed to hurt and disappoint you every time. It's not like you were expecting for him to have feelings for you or something, but at least noticing you were there would be nice for a change.

Your brother was the last to enter, hugging you so tightly that you couldn't breathe for a few seconds, squirming between his arms. "Eiji lemme go!" You screamed, though your voice muffled by his tight hold. 

"Sorry, just missed you." He told you, letting you free. A cheeky, innocent grin was on his face, the one he knew that made you soft. You answered by a "Hmph," turning to his friends, who were already in the living room, doing their things. Mina was the first to notice you when you entered the room, the cutest smile on her face. "Oh, hey Y/N!" She caught you by the wrist, pulling you to the couch to sit with her. Of course, Bakugou was right next to you.

Feeling self-conscious -when was the last time you had a shower? Yesterday? You could only pray you smelled nice- you scooted a bit more to Mina, putting some distance between Bakugou and you, though it pained you to do so since he smelled like caramel. Honestly, why did he smell this good? It only caused your thoughts to be fuzzier, and for you to be even more excited around him. 

Though he seemed to have noticed your shift towards Mina since he sent a small glance your way, a 'tch' sound coming out of his lips, heating your cheeks.

"Hi, Mina-san." You mumbled, trying to forget the boy -your big brother's best friend- sitting next to you. "Oh, y/n-chan, I told you many times, you can just call me Mina! We only have a year between us anyway." You nodded, though still feeling a bit uneasy. “Sure.”

"I- I should go now, I have to finish my math homework." You told them with an apologetic smile, Mina and Kaminari pouting almost immediately. "Oh, come on, sit with us for a bit," Denki protested, his eyes wandering on your bare legs for a second, earning a deadly glare from your brother and a nudge from Sero. 

"What homework?" Your brother asked you, coming closer to you to block Denki's view. "Oh, you know, the one I was doing this morning." You shrugged, you've been working on the same sheet of paper practically the whole day, but you just didn't know the subject even a little bit, staring at the paper without knowing nothing didn't help much.

"Wait, you still didn't finish that? I thought I helped you yesterday." He pouted. Yes, he did try to help you, but you were sure he also had no idea how to do it, and he had just repeated the question to you again and again, until you had said, "Ah, I understand it now! Thank you, brother," without being able to do anything. You knew he meant good, but it still didn't change the fact that your brother was as clueless as you were.

"I-" You had started to say something before a deeper voice intruded yours. "Oi, shitty-hair, you know you suck at math, how do you think you could even help her?" 

Your eyes shifted to Bakugou -you couldn't help but giggle at the nickname he had for your brother, oh, you had to remember that one- he had an annoyed look in his ruby eyes, his eyes not leaving your brother once. "Well, I-" Eiji had started to talk, his eyes widening slightly after, understanding what Bakugou meant. "Oh, you should have told me!"

You shrugged. "Well, you just looked so happy finally being able to help me with something, I didn't want to make you feel bad." 

Oh no, did that come out wrong? You were about to apologize when your brother pulled you in a hug once again. "Oh my god- lemme go!"

***

"So -uhh- if you do it this way, you can, maybe?.. No, okay, I got it, so if you add this to... Nope, that's wrong- umm, oh, how about-" 

Mina bit the back of the pencil you had given her, fully concentrated on the papers in front of her. "Oh move over, I can help her!" Denki told her as he pushed Mina aside.

"You?" She told him in disbelief, "Don't make me laugh, you're even worse than I am!" 

"No, I'm not!" The blonde boy answered, pulling the sheet of paper. "Yes, you are," Sero also joined the fight, pushing himself between the two. "Oh, you shut up, you're even worse than him!" Mina pushed Sero with all her might, panting. 

"Umm, what is happening?" You asked your red-headed brother, watching them with a smile and clearly enjoying the show. "Oh, don't worry, this happens all the time." He answered, patting you on the back, giggling when Mina pulled Denki's hair, making the poor boy scream. 

Oh, that makes it all better then. 

"Oi, dumbasses, shut the fuck up before I do it." You jumped in surprise when you heard Bakugou screaming right behind you, and surprisingly, three of the grown-ass people that were just wrestling on the floor froze. 

"Sorry, Baku." Mina was the first to stand up, fixing her disheveled clothes and running a finger through her soft-looking hair. Sero and Kaminari struggled for a second or two more, but one look from Bakugou and they were up on their feet too.

"Well, thanks I guess." You told the people who literally just fought each other to help you, though instead of them, it was Bakugou who answered you. "Whatever, you shouldn't be asking these idiots anyway."

You weren't sure what to say since the gratitude wasn't intended for him, but you smiled awkwardly. "Guess I'll have to ask someone tomorrow."

"Oh, Baku, can't you help her? You always help us and you're the smartest." Eiji perked his head with the idea that suddenly came to his mind.

"Damn right I am!" Bakugou answered without missing a beat, though he realized his mistake almost instantly. "Oh, that's great, then, you can help her." Mina cheered, clapping her hands with a wicked grin on her face, eyeing both you and the now furious looking boy. Bakugou would have said no immediately, but everyone in the room -even you- knew his pride wouldn't let him.

"For fucks sake," he muttered, his hand massaging his temples. "Give me that stupid fucking paper."

***

"Oh, okay, that makes much more sense!" You told him, even though you still had no idea how he did it, but you tried your best to hide the confusion in your face, not wanting to seem dumb in front of him. But it took one look and his burrows furrowed, lips curling into a snarl.

"If you're just acting like you understood I'll fucking-" A fake cough came from your brother's way, making Bakugou growl. "I'll explain it to you again and again until you understand it." He finished his sentence, making both you and Eiji grin.

"So what didn't you understand?"

Good question.

"I- uh... anything?" You could feel your face heating as you answered, causing him to grimace. "Oh my fucking God." He muttered, pinching his nose bridge with annoyance.

"LOOK-" Oh, he was pissed. "THE QUESTION IS TELLING YOU TO DO THIS, SO YOU JUST FUCKING ADD THIS TO THAT, AND-" His spiky hair looked like it was ruffling up when he got angry, like an angry bird, the thought making you giggle. As he heard your giggle he stopped screaming, and seeing him so quiet was somehow scarier than him shouting.

"What the fuck is so funny?" He asked gruffly, though his crimson eyes weren't as angry as they were before. "You know it doesn't help when you just scream everything at me, right?" You giggled again because he looked really confused.

"Okay, look." He sighed, "see this? This actually just means you should do this." His pencil moved on the paper, his writing surprisingly neat and pretty- especially for a boy as impatient and angry like him. "Oi, you listening?" He pointed the pencil to you when he noticed you weren't looking at the paper, but at him.

"Oh- yeah, I'm listening." You answered, looking at what he recently wrote and trying to understand what he probably said. His eyes narrowed, but he didn't question it further. "Good."

"As I just said," he stated -making you grin since he probably noticed you weren't, in fact, listening to him, "you should do it like this and that's the answer." 

You couldn't understand why, but suddenly what he was talking about seemed to make so much sense. "Oh my god." Your eyes widened, looking at the sheet of paper, you pulled the pencil he was holding without thinking much on it, quickly writing down what was on your mind before you forgot.

After you finished writing, you turned your gaze to the boy that was sitting right next to you, though he concealed the amazed look he had sent you almost immediately. "Is that... right?" You asked him, feeling anxious, if it was wrong, you probably would look like an idiot.

"Yeah," he muttered, quickly glancing your way and noticing the smile on your face. "Fucking finally." He added, trying to get you to stop from smiling since he couldn't stop thinking about how pretty it was, though to his surprise you only smiled brighter. He could feel his heartbeat picking up, not sure why. Were you always this pretty? Smiled so softly, that made him feel all warm? Looked at him like this, like he was the most amazing person you've had seen?

For him, you have always been the sister of his best friend. He hadn't the slightest interest on you, though he could feel that was changing, the thought terrifying him. No, you were only and only Kirishima's sister, no one else.

***

"Hey, Bakugou-Kun." Bakugou was taking his jacket off as he entered the house, his caramel scent making you dizzy.

"Hey, idiot." He answered without thinking, the rude nickname slipping from his lips, he pressed them together instantly as if he could un-say it. He looked at you with slightly widened eyes, expecting you to be sad, or get mad at him, though he could have never thought you would giggle instead.

"Yeah," you told him smiling, "guess I deserve that."

"No." A sudden answer came his way, causing you to be the one shocked this time. "I- I didn't mean it that way..." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking very uncomfortable. "I just-"

"It's okay!" You told him, finally ending his misery. "I know you didn't say it to be mean."

Now, that was a first.

"Yeah, whatever." He muttered, entering the room, though regretting it immediately, was that rude? Maybe he shouldn't have stormed out? Did you think he was rude? Mean? An asshole?

He had no idea you were only happy because, for the first time, he had stopped to talk with you instead of ignoring you altogether.

You entered the room, noticing the rest was there too, and you wondered when they even entered the house. "Hey, Y/N!" Denki beamed, though noticing the look Eiji sent him, he quickly corrected himself. "-chan. Y/N-chan."

"Hey, Kaminari-Kun." You answered, making him pout. "Oh come on, you can just call me Denki!" A small glance was sent your brothers way, "Denki-Kun. You can call me Denki-Kun." He corrected, smiling widely.

"Oh, okay." You told him. "Would you like something to drink, Denki-Kun?" You asked, making him grin wickedly. "She's just too cute!" He whisper-yelled, nudging Sero. "Anyone? I can make tea."

"Oh, just sit with us instead!" Mina told you and you did as she said, knowing she would force you anyway. Once again, you were stuck between Bakugou and Mina, though this time you were prepared and had worn perfume. She looked at you excitedly, like she wanted to say something, but before she sent an angry look to Bakugou.

"Hey, Baku, can you go sit with Denki or something? We're gonna talk and you're preventing us."

"Haah?" Bakugou yelled. "I was the first one sitting here! And I'm not fucking preventing you, I'm just fucking sitting here, it's not like I wanna hear the stupid shit you'll talk about."

Oh, but he, did. He was dying to hear what you would talk about.

"It's not stupid shit, its girl talk!" She defended, grinning when Bakugou stood up. "W-what do you want to talk about, Mina?" It took a lot of willpower for you not to say Mina-san. "A little bird told me you have a slight liking to a certain angry boy." She finally told you, waiting at first for a bit of suspense.

"W-what, who?" You blurted, immediately noticing the mistake you did. "I mean, that's not- that's not true!"

"Oh come on, don't try to hide it!" She giggled, nudging you. "I know you have a crush on bskdhdhdh!" You slapped your hand on her mouth just in time, a sigh of relief coming out your mouth when you stopped her from saying the name. Though, you couldn't stop her from screaming about you having a crush.

"You what?!" Eiji screamed, standing up.

"Ooh, our little Y/N-chan has grown so fast," Denki told as he wiped the nonexistent tears off his eyes.

"So, who's the lucky guy?" Sero asked, grinning.

"Oops, I may have made a mistake," Mina said, giggling.

The only one that hadn't said one word was Bakugou, though that was somehow even more uncomfortable. His gaze lingering over you, you felt like you were going to die of embarrassment (and why did he have to wear that black t-shirt? It only made you even more flustered, and you just couldn't help but think about how nice he looked)

"It's nothing." You smiled awkwardly, face heating up. You glanced away, looking at anyone but him. "It's a misunderstanding." A fake giggle and all should be good, right?

Well, apparently not.

"No, don't you try to laugh your way out of this. What is this crush?" He looked so angry, it was one of those rare moments that he looked plain out scary.

"It's an innocent crush, Eiji! Nothing to worry about, okay? Now sit down, I need to do my homework anyway." Eyes narrowing, his gaze stayed on you a little more, though he dropped the subject soon after.

"If anything happens, you'll tell me everything." He told Mina, though it sounded more like a threat.

"It's not my place to do so." She answered, grinning wickedly.

***

You peeped your head from the door, trying to take a look of inside. What were they doing?

You've been doing your homework the past hour or two -it was only 10 minutes, but it felt like an eternity- and you came downstairs to seek help.

"Hi, guys." You finally entered, only to find them all snuggled on the couch, watching the greatest show ever been made, Avatar the Last Airbender.

Eiji knew the consequences of such actions, desperately trying to close the TV, but he was late, you could recognize Uncle Iroh's voice from a mile away.

"How dare you!" You gasped, now feeling all eyes on you.

"Wait, what's going on?" Sero looked as confused as the rest of his friends.

"Eiji, how could you do this to me?" You ignored Sero altogether, eyes fixed on your red-headed brother.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, sis, it's just we had nothing to do and-"

"I can't even see you right now." You told him, turning your back to exit the room, leaving three very confused people after you.

"No, Y/N, wait!"

***

And that's how you found yourself to be snuggled between Bakugou and Denki.

It was really comfortable, you had to admit, but also very maddening. You couldn't even watch the show anymore, your senses filled with the boy sitting right next to you, his body touching yours ever so slightly, his hair tickling your face every time you moved to get a bit more comfortable.

"So you're telling me," Bakugou suddenly spoke up, though your eyes didn't leave the screen, you could feel his ruby eyes on you. "That you have a crush on this guy?"

"She does." Your brother mumbled from the other side of the room. "She even-"

"Shut up, or you won't be able to speak ever again." Everyone in the room suddenly froze, no one able to understand how the hell you just turned in to the most threatening person they ever saw.

"Well, damn, okay." Sero laughed, sending a small glance your way. "I don't know, man," Denki muttered. "Sokka is much better than Zuko. He is a nice dude, everyone likes him, has solid jokes, and is pretty smart. He's kinda like me, actually." 

"Yeah, he is like you!" Mina suddenly cheered. "Except for the being-liked-by-everyone, having nice jokes and being smart parts, of course." 

"Yeah, that's what I'm telling yo- hey!" He exclaimed, making everyone laugh. "If there's anyone that resembles any of these characters, it's Bakugou," Eiji muttered thoughtfully.

"What?" He snarled. Eiji shrugged. “You’re pretty similar to Zuko.”

"Wait, that's very on point!" You told him, causing Bakugou's brows to furrow. "Just think about it, you're very unreasonably angry all the time, keep picking useless fights with everyone, and are very rude!" Mina cheered.

Bakugou would have punched every one of you for even implying something like this, though now the only thing he could think about was if you thought this way too. 

"I- I didn't mean it that way, though." You told them. "He always tries to look so tough from the outside, but he's actually sweet. He tries to act like he doesn't like the gaang or his friends, but in reality, he really likes them. Don't you guys think so too?"

"Now that you put it that way..." Mina muttered, the topic closing and everyone focusing their gazes on the screen once again, though, even though no one realized, a small smile was on Bakugou's lips.

***

After the Avatar marathon, you stood up, about to go upstairs to continue the dreadful math homework when an idea fell upon you. You turned your gaze to the boy, who was sitting on the couch like it was a throne instead. Spiky hair looking softer than usual, you wondered what it would feel like to run your fingers through them. His eyes were closed, and he looked tired. Under the dim light of the small lamp that hung from the ceiling, you were practically in awe of how pretty he was. 

Cheekbones high and defined, a sharp jawline, like it indicated his sharp personality, delicate brows furrowed, buried in thought. 

As if he felt your eyes on him, his eyes snapped open, crimson eyes finding yours. You probably looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights, causing him to smirk. "What's your problem?" 

"I- uh, I was wondering if you could help me with... math?" 

"Again?!" That was a valid question, but it wasn't your fault math was too hard!

"It's okay, Y/N-chan, I can help you instead." You heard Denki's voice, a hand wrapping your shoulder, causing you, Eiji and Bakugou to jump in your places. 

"You don't know shit." Bakugou growled, his gaze suddenly predator-like, making Denki wince and pull his hand back. "Don't do me dirty like that, Bakubro," Denki whined. "I'm just trying to help-" His voice suddenly muffled by the hand on his mouth, a hand that belonged to your bother. 

"You come here for a second." Eiji told him threateningly, pulling him out of the room with force. "No- no, Kiri, don't do this to me!" The door closed behind them, though, a muffled scream or two could be heard every once in a while.

Everyone ignoring the whole ordeal, went back to what they were doing. Bakugou turned to you, his eyes on the sheet of paper you were holding. "So, does this mean you're helping me?" 

Bakugou knew the second you turned to him with that pleading look in your eyes, he was already going to say yes. "Tch," he rolled his eyes, pulling the paper from your hands. "Whatever."

This time, he sat a bit closer to you. 

You sat side by side, arms almost touching whenever he wrote something. "Did you understand this one?" He asked, the pencil he was holding pointing to the second question. Surprisingly, you did understand it. When you nodded, he smiled, it wasn't one of those cocky smirks, this one was a genuine, small smile that took your breath away. 

"Then do this one yourself." 

You gulped, tearing your eyes away from his face as you felt your face heating up. It took you a bit to get focused on what was in front of you, but you were able to use what Bakugou had explained to you, and eventually reached the answer. 

"That's... That was pretty good." He told you as he inspected what you wrote. This time, it was you who smiled brightly, taking his breath away. He could feel his heart suddenly going crazy, hammering his chest as if it was trying to set itself free. And why did he have this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach? This dreadful but also... warm feeling? 

He didn't like this. He didn't like it at all. 

He stood up, his face suddenly angry, causing your smile to drop. He gritted his teeth when he realized he wanted to sit right back and apologize, to make you smile again. But instead, he picked his phone up from the table and turned his back to you.

He exited the room in a hurry that didn't even let you say anything, or thank him.

"Oi, shitty hair! I'm out." You heard him scream to your brother. 

"So soon?" Eiji asked though the door already shut mid-sentence.

***

Although Bakugou had promised himself that he was going to stay away from you, as far as he could, this thing -whatever this was- went on for weeks. He wanted to stop, Bakugou really tried to not think of you whenever he saw a fucking number, but it didn't take long for him to realize he couldn't.

So instead, he came to see you every day, with or without the Bakusquad and helped you with math even if you didn't ask for him to.

You always asked him to, though.

On the other hand, you weren't thrilled about this whole situation either. At first, this was a normal, innocent crush, but as you spent more time with him, you found yourself falling for him. Hard.

"Hey, Bakugou!" You greeted him (you had dropped calling him Bakugou-Kun sometime, though you weren't really sure when), a big smile that you couldn't drop on your face. "Hey, idiot. I brought this shitty thing you like." 

He meant donuts. 

He didn't want to admit it, but he had only bought it to see the way your eyes sparkled when you held one in your hand, about to take a giant bite out of it. 

The rest of the group was already here and settled, so you checked the paper bag in your hands if it had enough for everyone. You smiled brightly when you noticed it did, making your way to the kitchen.

You noticed Eiji standing, leaning to the door, and watching you both with furrowed brows. "Oh, don't look so mad, I'll give one to you too." You told him giggling, interpreting it wrong. 

His face softened, also smiling. "Don't forget to give me the strawberry one!"

"We'll see about that!!" You answered as you exited the room.

"Oh, Bakugou-Kun, did you buy us the shit we like too?" Sero said mockingly, making the others snicker. "Shut the fuck up, tape face."

"Oh, but Bakugou-Kun-"

"I said, shut the fuck up!" Suddenly his heart was beating really fast. "Relax, Baku, having feelings for someone is nothing to be ashamed of!" Mina told him, though she already knew the answer he was going to give.

"I don't fucking have feelings, dumbass." Bakugou didn't have feelings, especially not towards you, the sister of his best friend. But still, he couldn't take his eyes off of you, he couldn't stop his heart from racing whenever you smiled, and he couldn't stop feeling like he would do anything for you to smile again when you don't.

"Sure you don't," Mina answered, a sly grin on her face when she noticed Bakugou's confused expression. It wasn't that Bakugou didn't want the feelings, he just couldn't understand them.

They would have taken it further if you hadn't entered the room with a plate full of donuts in your hands. "Nobody touches the Nutella one!" You told them, letting them take a donut.

You narrowed your eyes and sent a threatening look when Denki tried to take the one you were going to eat.

"You're not eating?" You asked when you noticed Bakugou not taking one. He shrugged. "I don't like sweets."

Your brows furrowed in confusion, "Really? Can I eat yours then?" Bakugou found himself smiling to that, thinking about how adorable you looked with a donut in your hand, a shirt that was too big for you, probably stolen from Eiji and sugar powder smeared on your lips. He couldn't help but wonder, what would you do if he just leaned in and kissed you, right then and there? Would you flinch back? Scream at him? Maybe even be disgusted by him?

He decided he didn't want to lea the answer.

***

"Oh, you're staying late?" You asked with a small smile on your lips, making them look so kissable, Bakugou had to look away. "Yeah." 

"You have homework?" He asked when you didn't say anything. He didn't want you to leave. "Nope, already did them." 

Oh.

"But I kind of wanted to talk to you." You looked nervous, your hands clasped together, anxiously biting your lip. His eyes narrowed, crimson gaze wandering over you like he was trying to read your mind. 

"I have-" You started to say, but stopped mid-sentence so he finished your sentence for you internally. ...feelings for you. 

(You actually had an upcoming math exam, and you were hoping he could help you study for it, but you didn't want to make him uncomfortable.)

Oh, he wasn't going to let you be the first to confess, so without thinking about it, Bakugou blurted. "I like you." There it was, he did it before you! But why did you look so shocked?

"You what?" You asked, eyes wide, just staring at him. Bakugou could feel his heart getting heavier by the second, hands turning cold and a dreadful knot forming in the pit of his stomach. Weren't you saying the same thing just then?

"I-" should he just tell you to forget about it? No, he wasn't the kind of man to just back off. "You heard me." He told you gruffly. "I like you." 

Much to his annoyance, you stayed quiet, not giving him the chance to be happy or sad about it. Just silence. "And? What's your answer?!" 

For the first time in this conversation, you looked at him properly. You hadn't noticed how his crimson gaze shined with uncertainty, confusion, and anxiety. He was afraid of your answer, you realized. Even the great Bakugou Katsuki was afraid of rejection. 

So instead of giving him a verbal answer, you leaned in instead, your lips touching his softly. 

His eyes opened wide with the contact, not being able to understand what was going on. Your lips were so soft, it molded perfectly against his, and he was afraid that if he moved even an inch, you would realize you were making a big mistake and pull back. So he froze.

"Bakugou?" You pulled back slightly after a few seconds, making him want to pull you back and never let go. "Won't you kiss me back?" 

To this, Bakugou grinned, his hands suddenly on your back, pulling you towards him. The last thing you remembered before you lost yourself in the kiss was how soft his lips were, and how amazing he smelled.

***

"You know we still have to tell Eiji, right?" You told him, running your fingers through your messed up hair, trying to look like you didn't kiss a boy for the past... well, you weren't sure how long, actually. 

"Yeah." He answered, lips slightly pink. 

"You know, I think I have the perfect idea of how to tell him."

"You do?" He asked, now slightly intrigued. You nodded, standing up. Eiji was in his room, so you pulled Bakugou by the wrists up the stairs. "Come on." You told him when he hesitated. "This will work."

You knocked on your brother's door, opening it just the slightest when you heard him tell you to come in. "Hey, Eiji." 

"Hey, sis." He smiled widely, not aware of Bakugou behind the door. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing much." You shrugged, "Just wanted to tell you that Bakugou and I are dating, okay bye!" You shut the door after you without giving him the time to say anything, running down the stairs, and pulling Bakugou after you. 

Your brother opened his door, running after you, his face as red as his hair. "You what?!"

"You idiot!" Bakugou screamed. "So this was your great idea?"

[mageofseven]

Part 3! This is the last part, containing Beel and Belphie's sections below the cut. Please enjoy~

Part 1 | Part 2

~

Beelzebub:

Things were peaceful with the pregnancy for a while.

Even in the beginning, when MC was barely showing and faced very little issues, the sixth brother was waiting on her hand and foot

And he almost always had a smile on his face. He was just insanely happy about becoming a dad, about having a baby with MC.

He handled every thing more or less with stride.

When she started showing and the woman felt self-conscious about the fact that she was losing her figure, he'd hold her close and kiss her, telling how beautiful she was, that the belly she was growing made her no less so. In fact, it made her even more beautiful because to him, what her body was doing was a beautiful thing: growing and carrying his child, something that meant the world to him.

Yeah, he was a bit anxious about how things would go since Lucifer told them the pregnancy could become dangerous for her, but he was still truly happy for the two of them to become parents.

Unlike his siblings in the other timelines, Beel had no fears about how he'll be as a dad; he knew he had so much love to give their son or daughter and was ready to give it.

It wasn't until MC's fourth month when some concerns were raised.

MC's belly had grew at an unusual rate. Despite just entering her fourth month, her belly was roughly the size of what it should be in her sixth or even seventh month of pregnancy, according to Satan.

Beel didn't really know anything specific about pregnancy so he didn't see it as anything to worry about. I mean, he was the Avatar of Gluttony and this was his baby. MC developed quite the appetite because of this and was eating at least twice more than she used to. Surely that's all this was? And if so, the man couldn't see it as anything dangerous, at least.

Still, MC's anxiety grew over it, causing him talk over it more with the blonde to figure out if there was anything he could do for her.

And so the time came; the rune! Satan drew the rune over the human's belly to collect the data they needed.

After a minute or two of absorbing the data, the blonde raised an eyebrow.

"What is it?" MC asked.

"It... well, I suppose for a start, Beel is correct that his sin is part of the reason for the growth spurt." Satan began. "But only partly."

Beel leaned towards his brother, listening closely.

"However, there are some more difficult elements at play here." The fourth brother continued. "The most pressing being... the number."

"I... what?" The woman stared at the demon in front of her.

"It seems you two are having twins. Two girls, in fact."

Beel immediately pulled MC in for a hug. The woman cried heavy tears, but they were paired with a smile. The big guy teared up as well.

"Twins. Beely, we're having two little girls." She said from inside his arms.

"I know." The man pulled back and gave her a sweet kiss before laying both hands on her belly. "Our little girls--"

"I hate to interrupt," The Avatar of Wrath said, but of course, did so anyway. "But... do either of you realize the danger this poses to any degree?"

Beel turned back to his brother, furrowing his brow.

Satan sighed.

"Beel... one baby was going to be rough on her body, but two?" He pointed out. "Honestly Beel, she'll likely be eating at least as much as you, if not more, and that still might not be enough for her body. It's manageable now, but once she enters the last trimester, it'll be very difficult to keep two gluttony demon children fed as well as the mother they're siphoning nutrition off of faster than she can get it."

Basically, MC was going to be eating an extreme amount of food and still literally be starving. That's how Beel understood it at least.

The man looked at his girlfriend and frowned in worry. He hated feeling hungry and didn't wish that on his Muffin, but knew she'll end up feeling even worse than that.

"Is there anything I can do for her now?" The redhead asked.

"Right now... all we can do is stock up and hope for the best." The blonde answered. "Lucifer should probably be informed so things can be planned out."

And so he did. He walked his girlfriend to their bedroom so she could lie down for a bit while he went to Lucifer's study to inform him. The older brother was instantly stressed out, but let out a sigh and told him that he'll handle it.

Lucifer did warn Beel though that he probably won't be able to eat as much as he's used to because of this. The Avatar of Gluttony only nodded. If he had to go hungry to keep MC fed and alive then so be it. It was worth it to him.

As the months went by, Satan's predictions were proven true. By half way through her seventh month, MC was bedridden. Her belly had grown so big that she literally could not get out of bed on her own.

The woman was never alone though. She constantly had either Beel or Belphie or both with her to bring her food or carry her to the bathroom or cuddle her so she didn't get lonely.

What was equally as worrisome as her gravid boulder of a belly was the rest of her. The woman had lost so much weight in her thighs, arms, and face that she looked like she's been starved for years.

Each touch of Beel's was extra gentle because his girlfriend looked so fragile like this. He was afraid to hurt her even more, especially because of their girls' kicks.

The twins had inherited their daddy's strength. Occasionally, one or both of them would kick their mama a bit too hard, causing a bruise to form on her belly.

This led to lots of belly time. Beel would kiss and rub his Muffin's belly while talking to his girls, telling them how loved they are, but how they need to be more gentle with their mama.

Despite how difficult the situation was, both Beel and MC kept positive, smiling through it. After all, this was all for their little girls so of course it was worth it.

Good End:

Oh this poor woman. It took ten months of pregnancy, being a full month over due, but her twins were finally ready to come out into the world and meet their parents.

It was a long twelve hours for the couple; after all, these were two very big, overdue demon babies of gluttony being pushed out by a mom they've seriously weakened for months now. Yet despite the odds, both Mama and babies made it out okay.

Beel kissed his girlfriend's head and watched as she fed their girls. Their girls. This was really happening. Beel was a daddy. His sweet Muffin was a mama and those sweet girls feeding from her chest were their daughters, sporting his hair, eye color, horns, even delicate versions of his wings, but still had all of their mother's facial features. They were identical, unlike him and Belphie, but the demon truly hoped the two could forge just as strong of a bond together as he had with his twin.

When the two were done drinking, Beel took the one from MC's left arm and brought her into his own. Just then, a knock came to the door and it clicked open to reveal Belphie, who Beel texted a few minutes ago; he wanted his twin to be the very first one to see his daughters.

The couple smiled at him.

"Belphie, come see them." MC invited him to come closer.

The seventh brother approached the bed and gave a small smile.

"So... whose who?"

MC looked up to Beel, letting her boyfriend introduce them. The man smiled.

"This is Arsenia." The redhead stared down at the little girl in his arms, kissing her head before looking to the one in MC's arms. "And right there is Anais."

The three talked for a bit and watched the babies before MC needed to sleep. Beel laid the twins in their cribs before giving his Muffin a quick kiss on her head.

"Sweet dreams, Muffin. Thank you for everything." He smiled.

Bad End:

Twelve hours. Twelve hours of labor that seemed like it was going no where. The first baby was barely even crowning after all this time and MC was losing what remained of her strength. The woman honestly didn't know how much more she could take.

Beel felt so helpless as he watched her struggle. He was so hyperfocused on his Muffin that he hadn't even thought of food once during these twelve hours and even a non gluttony demon would be getting hungry right then.

It took another hour, but MC eventually got the head out and then the shoulders. But that was it. That was as far as she made it. She had lost the last of her strength and just... faded away at that moment. Beel couldn't accept it at first and just kept calling her name and shaking her shoulder, begging her to wake up. But she didn't. The man let out a howl of pain before collapsing on his knees in sobs. He cried for a minute before remembering his girls.

Beel quickly shot up and freed the first baby, Arsenia, from her mother's body. Anais... Anais, he never got to save. They never knew it, but the cord had been wrapped around her neck for most of the labor and she left them before even MC did.

And just like that, the Avatar of Gluttony lost his Muffin and one of his daughters. As he held tightly to Arsenia though, he vowed that he would never, ever let any harm come to her.

Beel was a loving, but fiercely protective father. His daughter handled it in stride for the first twelve years of her life, but after that, grew to really resent him. He never let her truly live her life. By fifteen, she actually ran away to the Human realm in search of what was left of her mother's side of the family, leaving a note saying that she couldn't handle him suffocating her anymore. Arsenia had succeeded in finding her grandma and Lucifer convinced Beel to just let her be for a few days. Then he came to get her and the two had a heart to heart talk.

The man didn't know how he could grow to let go more; all he knew was his fear. This was his daughter. His worse nightmare was losing her just like he did with MC and Anais. But he knew if he didn't learn then he was just going to lose her in another way. The man just didn't know what to do anymore. Not without MC, who kept him grounded. Not without MC, who he sees everytime he looks at his daughter's face. And so he was stuck feeling desperate and lost and just wanting his daughter to understand him and be happy.

Belphegor:

After the two's three month fight, Belphie was dedicated to taking care of MC.

He was an ass to her when he found out of she was pregnant and he knew it, never even denied it, but it came from a place of fear and love for his human.

Seeing just how important this baby was to her though... it was enough for him to bury his fear deep inside of himself for her. He had to; she needed him and he was not going to abandon her again.

Her second trimester was... well, let's just say he stepped in to support her at just the right time.

MC was always so exhausted and went through her days in almost a daze.

She even passed out at the dinner table one evening, face falling straight onto her plate.

Normally, the Avatar of Sloth would find this funny, but the pregnancy had him on edge.

She woke up fairly easily though. Just a couple shakes of her shoulder and the woman was lifting her head, wondering why there was mashed potatoes in her hair.

That was enough for him though. Belphie picked his girlfriend up and carried her to his room. He cleaned the food out of her hair before laying her back on the bed.

"I'm sorry..." She mumbled.

"Don't apologize, Butthead." He said softly, pulling her to his chest.

He knew she couldn't help it. In general, pregnancy could be tiring, but when the baby daddy is the literal Avatar of Sloth? Yeah, that made things harder.

The human fell asleep, barely staying conscious long enough to hear his response.

Belphie leaned in and kissed her forehead.

Even after such an early bed time, MC didn't wake up in the morning. Or the afternoon. Belphie was tense as hell, but tried to be patient.

Around 3pm, after sleeping for about twenty hours straight, the man tried shaking his girlfriend awake. But she wouldn't.

Belphie started freaking out and shaking her harder. She still wouldn't wake up.

He had to triple check that she was alive. And she was; the woman still breathed slow, sleepy breaths and had a calm pulse like any sleeping person would.

But she wasn't waking up? Why?

At some point, the younger brother wasn't sure when, but Beel had gotten up and rushed to Lucifer.

The oldest brother put a hand on his youngest brother's shoulder, stopping him from shaking the human anymore.

Belphie instantly shook the oldest off and gave him a glare.

"Stop, she's not waking up!"

"Shaking her is not going to help the situation."

Belphie was frustrated with the Avatar of Pride, but knew he was right. But what else could he do?

Lucifer did most of the talking with Beel after that. The two went back and forth on different things as Belphie simply held his girlfriend close.

Eventually, the two left the room and came back with Satan, book in hand. Belphie growled as the blonde approached the bed.

Satan sighed.

"Enough with that. I believe I know a way to figure out the problem."

And with that, the fourth brother explained step by step everything he was going to do.

The boyfriend scowled, but let the blonde do what he needed to do.

Satan opened his book and laid it on the bed. He gave a glance at the page before pulling down the blanket and raising up the woman's shirt.

Belphie growled again, but stopped as Beel laid a hand on his arm. The man then took a deep breath and just sat up, watching the blonde's movements carefully as he guarded his girlfriend. Yeah, Satan was his brother, but more importantly, that was his girlfriend the blonde was messing with. Whatever he does, he better be gentle.

The three other men watched as the Avatar of Wrath drew a rune around MC's navel. The woman stirred, making some noises in her sleep, but didn't awake.

When the blonde finished the rune, it glowed a very bright purple. The fourth brother raised an eyebrow at this.

"It's... not supposed to do that." The blonde picked up his book, rereading the passage once more.

"What did you do?" Belphie immediately jumps to the worse scenarios.

Satan waved off his words and continued to read the passage.

"It's suppose to glow green since I am the rune's scripter... however, it shows itself in your color."

The Avatar of Sloth didn't say a word; he didn't understand what was going on. He looked down at his human, whose sleep had turned a bit restless since the other man drew the rune on her.

The fourth brother finally sat down the book and reached out to lay his hand on the rune

...and was immediately shocked.

Satan cursed and pulled his hand towards his chest.

"What happened?" Lucifer asked.

The fourth brother just shook his head and breathed for a minute in order to keep calm.

"It... I seemed to be locked out." The blonde answered in a controlled voice.

"What do you mean, you're locked--"

"It means I don't have control over the rune!" The Avatar of Wrath snapped at the oldest before taking a deep breath. "Belphie, you do it."

"Do what?"

"Just put your hand on the rune; it'll do the rest."

Belphie stared at his brother for a minute before slowly laying his hand on MC's belly, right above the rune.

Suddenly, his eyes glowed as his brain was flooded with information.

Okay, first off, he learned the rune was purple because of the baby. As soon as they sensed the rune intruding on their safe place, the baby locked Satan out... apparently to protect themselves and their mother. Belphie only has access because they seem to trust him.

It also seemed that the baby has inherited their dad's protective instincts. Belphie approves.

That's not the only thing they got from him though.

The reason MC has been out cold for past twenty hours is because they inherited their dad's miasma powers, the ability that he uses with his aura to weaken people and put them to sleep

The very same power he used the night he killed MC.

Belphie wanted to curse, to scream, to aim all his anger at the little being doing this to her

But then he discovered why.

The baby... they sensed their mama's great distress, something MC had been trying so hard to hide from him.

It all went back to the first revelation; the baby was protective of their mother. They weren't just protecting her from outside forces, but from herself too.

Lastly, he learned learned that there was no single baby; there was two

Twins. A boy and a girl.

Belphie pried away his hand so quickly that he almost fell off of the bed. If it wasn't for Beel being right behind him and catching him, he would have.

"What is it?" His twin asked.

Oh dear devil, where should he even start? The seventh brother didn't even know if he wanted to say anything; he just wanted time to let it all sit within him, but he had three pairs of eyes trained on him at the moment.

Belphie glanced down at MC's sleeping face and a fresh wave of guilt washed over him. She was essentially being drugged into sleep by his kids. Once again, this was his fault.

Sensing how overwhelmed his twin was, Beel turned to Lucifer and said some things that the younger twin didn't even try to hear before the oldest and the blonde left the room, leaving the twins alone.

Belphie sat with his knees to his chest and hid his face in his arms.

Beel came up and hugged his brother.

"It's my fault..." Belphie's voice cracked.

The younger twin told the redhead everything, who listened patiently to all of it.

Beel's arms tightened around his brother.

"You know she wouldn't blame you for it." Beel told him.

"Doesn't change the fact that it's my fault..."

The twins talked together for a little over an hour. After that, Belphie fell asleep next to MC and Beel left to update Lucifer.

The conclusion? Wait. All they could do for now is wait. Satan looked into some human-safe potions that would be strong enough to wake MC if she took too long, but otherwise, waiting is all they could do.

Two days later, MC woke up in severe need of water. Beel ran to go get some for her as Belphie held her close, relief washing over him.

A few bottles of water later, MC asked what happened.

Belphie didn't know what to say. Or rather... how to tell her.

But he did. He admitted everything with a heavy heart and actually apologized to her.

Wide eyed, his girlfriend pulled him in for a hug.

"Hey... none of that." She told him. "I'm fine, I-- it's okay."

The two laid there and cuddled for a while. Belphie laid with his head on her chest, feeling it rise and fall with each breath (and being incredibly grateful for each one) as his girlfriend stroked his hair.

"So...twins?" She asked softly. "How...how do you feel about that?"

Belphie let out a sigh. How could she lay there and worry about him despite the situation she was in?

It didn't help that the demon honestly had no clue to how to answer that. How did he feel about any of this now?

He hated all of this in the beginning and he resented this baby for even existing. Since his experience with the rune and getting the chance to understand the babies inside of her... he really didn't know.

They seemed... anxious and overall just wanted to protect their mother. That was no different from Belphie himself.

His twins just... devil, he could feel his heart softening for them as he thinks over everything.

He didn't resent them anymore, but how did he feel about them? About there being two of them?

Honestly, it sounded like a hassle. Even once this whole pregnancy is done with, MC and him will have twice the responsibility; he was exhausted just thinking about it.

Still, he accepted it all.

"Dummy, you shouldn't be worrying about what I think." Belphie shook his head. "...How do you feel about it?"

Silence.

"A bit... scared." She admitted. "I don't want you to get overwhelmed again and... and leave me."

Belphie sat up and stared down at her.

"I'm not leaving you. Ever." He said firmly. "I know I was a dick in the beginning, but I'm staying with you. Period."

MC looked away.

"Y-Yeah, but..."

Devil, he had to keep her stress levels down or their twins are gonna drug her again. The demon leaned in and kissed his girlfriend before laying his head back down on her chest.

"I love you, Butthead." He mumbled. "I'm not leaving you or our kids so stop worrying."

He could feel her body relax underneath him.

Months went by with very little issues. She went through somedays with a really froggy mind and that was concerning on it's own because she was extra clumsy like this, tripping over furniture and starting little fires in the kitchen.

Belphie and Beel were always hovering around her because of this, ready to catch her when she tripped. They also took over her cooking duty and took turns. MC felt bad and said she should be contributing more, but Belphie would always silence her with a kiss and tell her she's contributing enough by carrying his little gremlins.

This made her smile because she knew he was joking. If he was able to joke about them like that then there must be affection for them underneath it all. And she was right.

Her coma-like sleeps were rare but they did happen twice more in her pregnancy. Luckily between Belphie and Beel, they were able to keep her stress down enough to where it usually wasn't an issue.

Good End:

MC had woken him up in the middle of the night. Her contractions started while she was asleep and woke her up when they got too strong for her to sleep through. Belphie woke up to her crying and clinging to him.

From 3am to 9am, a long six hours, MC labored hard till she pushed both twins out. Their son had his dad's dark hair while their daughter had MC's hair. Both had Belphie's purple eyes though. Their daughter had their dad’s horns while their son had their dad’s tail.

MC held their son close to her chest as Belphie held his daughter. He stared down at the little girl, who lightly squirmed in his arms and let out soft cries.

"Belphie..."

He looked over to his girlfriend, just to notice that he himself had been crying as he watched his daughter. The demon looked away, blushing. After a moment, he spoke.

"I know we really didn't talk about this beforehand... but I want to name her Lilith."

His girlfriend gave him a smile.

"Of course."

The two discussed it for a few minutes and decided to name their son Judas.

Bad End:

Things fell apart early in MC's eighth month. The woman suddenly just collapsed where she stood, seconds after whispering Belphie's name and trying to reach out to him. The man caught her before she hit the floor. She had suddenly fallen into one of her comas. But why? He thought his girlfriend was okay, but apparently she had been bottling some feelings up. She would have had to have been or otherwise their children wouldn't be doing this to her.

It was three days later that Belphie woke up in the night to feel that the bed was wet. Very wet. MC's water broke! She was still in her coma though so how did this work?? Even with the contractions, could she birth the twins if he she wasn't awake to push?? Belphie quickly woke up Beel who in turn rushed to Lucifer. The oldest called a doctor, who had Belphie stay outside of the room.

The youngest brother paced back and forth in the hallway, cussing, and overall more awake then he has been all of his demon life.

In the end... MC didn't make it. But the twins did. The twins survived even when his girlfriend didn't and that fact destroyed him.

For the first two years of their life, Belphie had absolutely nothing to do with his kids; Beel raised them for him. It wasn't because of what you might think. Belphie didn't resent his kids or blame them for their mother's death like he thought he would. Belphie was drowning in self-hatred because it was his fault. He believed this with every fiber of his being. He couldn't even look at his children, especially Lilith, who he saw both MC and his sister within her whenever their eyes met.

Eventually, he got his shit together, at least somewhat. He always needed help though so Lilith and Judas were raise by both their father and their Uncle Beel. Belphie was pretty laid back as a father so between him and Beel, the kids had the freedom to do just about anything. However, they grew to be a bit bratty. Good hearted, but bratty. Any time anyone other than he or Beel tried to discipline them or said anything awful to his kids, Belphie was ready to murder a bitch and slowly at that; it was a lot easier to set this man off now as a parent. Luckily, Beel was always able to drag him away and calm him down.

Those around them were always put on edge by the Avatar of Sloth's presence because of this; even the other brothers weren't sure how to interact with him somedays. Still, his kids were safe and between himself and Beel, they never went without anything. They grew up loved and protected... just like MC wanted.

He sometimes got into these depressive moods when he thought of her and couldn't leave his bed. At first, Beel would try to occupy the kids elsewhere so he could have his space and the twins didn't have to see their daddy like that. One day though, when they were five, they snuck away and into the attic room that he hid in. Wordless, the two just climbed into bed with him and he held them close to his chest.

As much as he missed MC... he loved his kids and moments like that reminded him just how important they are to him. There was once a time where he told himself that if he had to choose between MC and their kids, he wouldn't hesitate to choose her; he simply couldn't imagine how he could care about anyone as strongly as he does her. Now that they're here though, he doesn't have to imagine it; it's his reality and though he missed MC with every fiber of his being, he wouldn't trade his children for anything in the three realms.

~

Part 1 | Part 2

[softsebnbuckystan]

Soul ties - Part 8 (Bucky Barnes au)

“No, I don't wanna know, Where you been or where you're goin'

But I know I won't be home, And you'll be on your own”

Maniac by Michael Sembello was blasting from Wanda's room as she was going through her closet,  looking for something you could wear at the party. You were tapping your feet to the beat and shaking your head softly.

"This is perfect," Wanda said as she handed  you  jean shorts and a T-shirt. Finding something in your style had been hard, but the outfit turned out really cute on you. "And before you ask, I still have your plaid shirt if you want to wear that."

Your sister knew you too well ; or maybe it was just her ability to read minds. You were pretty sure it was a mix of both. You looked at your watch : five in the afternoon were already passed and you knew Nat was supposed to arrive soon, so you went to the kitchen after changing. Actually, she was already there.

"Nat!"

"Happy birthday, girl! How do you feel about hitting thirty, huh?"

"Surprisingly good, to be honest," you answered as you hug her tight. "I'm glad you came by."

"Me too. Steve told me pretty interesting news about some guy." She wiggled her brows, making you raise yours.

"Not that interesting. Yes, he is my supposed soulmate, but I got married last week, not matter how that's turning out."

"Yeah, sorry I couldn't be there, by the way. However, if I trust Steve's words..."

"Don't? Please." You smiled, making her laugh. You really must've sounded desperate, or in denial –  or, once again, both.

"Fine. But I can't promise I'll hold back my thoughts."

"I know you won't," you joked. "Anyway, is the cake already here?" You asked Sam.

"No, Bucky's not back yet."

"Oh, alright. I thought since he left early..."

"He had stuff to do, apparently." He shrugged, showing he didn't know any more than you did. A smirk appeared on his face. "Miss him already?"

"Ugh, I hate you all."

"No, you don't!"

Everyone around you laughed and, frankly, you couldn't hold it in either. These people always had a way of making you forget about your problems, and Darren hadn't crossed your mind until now.  Hours went by and more people arrived at the compound. It wasn't supposed to be a big party, but Tony was obviously unable to resist to Peter Parker asking if he could tag along. This kid loved being around here, maybe as much as you did. Once eight hours rang, almost everyone was there, except for Bucky. You were sure he'd eventually show up, even though you  couldn't help but feel a little anxious while everyone shared champagne bottles.

"Alright, close your eyes," Sam said, dragging you out of your thoughts. He put his hands on your eyes as you giggled softly.

"What is it now, you asked?"

"Patience, lady."

You couldn't see  anything – obviously – but you soon heard voices around you singing you a happy birthday. When Sam removed his hands, your eyes took some time to adjust to the sparkling candles on the big birthday cake. More importantly, it took you a second to recognise the man carrying it. Where had his hair gone?

"Your hair," you whispered once he was close enough.

He shrugged. "C'mon, the candles will melt if you don't blow them out." His own smile quickly spread to your face as you blew out your thirty candles. Everyone applauded and Bucky started cutting it so that people could help themselves. Once seated next to him, you took a bite of your own piece and closed your eyes in delight.

"Raspberries. I love those."

"Yeah, Wanda said it was your favourite," he told you before eating a chunk of cake. "How do you like the party  so far?"

"I love it. Everyone I love is here, so I couldn't be happier, really." You didn't even think about what you were saying. Tony's champagne did that to you for sure.

"Everyone?"

"Of course, why do you ask?" You gave him a confused look  before it dawned on you. "Oh,  I know. Well if he's not here by now, I guess that means something."

"Well I'm not the one saying it. It's your night, anyway, so let's not talk about him and let you have fun." He gently poked your arm – you felt delighted, as it was him who'd  made the move this time. It felt as if he was becoming more comfortable around you : you'd noticed he'd been laughing with you a lot more frequently these last few days.

"So, why the new haircut?"

"I wanted some change. New me, old me, I guess." He took a sip of his beer.

"I like it. Can I have some?" You pointed at the bottle. He gladly handed it to you ; damn, this man did not know what one beer might do to you, especially after champagne.

Wanda spotted you from across the room and stopped walking towards you, interrupting her conversation with Scott Lang.

"I hope that's your first drink tonight," she said with a grin. "You don't want to expose your party demon now, do you?"

You chuckled at Bucky's scared eyes. "I'm taking this back," he said, taking his beer back and finishing it.

"Don't worry, Bucky. I'm fine. I'm just a little more outgoing when I drink, that is all."

A screeching sound made you turn your head : Steve had just plugged a microphone into the speakers.

"Alright, so, as you all know, tonight's Y/n's thirtieth birthday. For the occasion, I'm sure she'll gladly treat us to a speech now."

If looks could kill, Steve would've died on the spot, super soldier or not. You never had inspiration for that kind of stuff.

"C'mon guys,  she needs some encouragement," Sam chimed in.

Tony and Peter both whoo'ed  at you with huge smiles, and you had no other choice than going on that improvised stage which consisted of the space between the speakers. You took the microphone from Steve's hand and Nat handed you a beer.

"Oh my, thanks for that," you said, chuckling. "I want to thank you all for coming. You  might have known me for a while, or not, but hum...you guys are family. I couldn't be happier to celebrate thirty years on Earth with you." You raised your bottle in front of you. "To found family."

Everyone  drank to that, and you jumped as Sam placed his hand on your shoulder and started speaking in another mic.

"So many emotions there, I love to see it. Now we're not done with you. Remember that night in Brooklyn?"

"Oh no."

"Oh, yeah... we're  gonna do it. And you're gonna love it, don't you dare say otherwise."

You stared at Sam before downing your drink. He was damn right.

"Okay Scott, fire away!"

"Toniiight,  I'm gonna have myself a real good time..." Sam started singing this fabulous bop as the music soared in the air. You obviously joined him right away.

"I'm burning through the skyyyyy, yeah." You probably were not singing right, but you couldn't have cared less. Everyone around  you was singing – more like yelling – along and you finally let go of your last inhibitions.  You were singing and dancing,  pretending you were the international rock star giving a representation. For once, you saw a wide smile on Bucky's face that couldn't seem to go away, and you decided to have fun with him a little. You pointed at him and smiled as you basically jumped to the beat.

"I'm a sex machine ready to reload like an atom bomb about to oh, oh, oh,  oh exploooode!"

He couldn't help but laugh and he even started tapping his feet to the beat as well. You went back to Sam and you ended the song back to back, definitely yelling more than you were actually singing.

"See, I told you you'd love it!" he exclaimed.

You laughed out loud before handing the mic to Scott. "You have fun now, I gotta rest for a sec."

You happily got back to Wanda and Bucky as Scott and Sam were joined by Peter to keep this improvised karaoke going. Your sister was less than surprised, since this wasn't the first party she had with you. Bucky, on the other hand...

"I didn't know you could do that," he said with a grin.

"What, absolutely slay the day with a mic in my hand? Hell yeah I can, only after some drinks though."

"Yeah, I don't know if your cheeks are this red from drinks, dancing or just regular blush."

You chuckled at his laugh, even placing your hand on his shoulder while doing so. When your eyes were done squinting from all the laughs, you froze.

"Darren, I-"

"That science guy let me in."

Bruce shot you a sorry look, raising his hands in the air. "He wouldn't let me ask you for your opinion first anyway."

Damn, you hadn't realised how much everyone disliked your husband. After all, no one had ever been rude to his face, unlike his friends. Bucky turned around to face him and crossed his arms over his chest : his smile was long gone now, as if it had been only a fever dream.

"You put on quite a show there."

"Wow, so not even a 'happy birthday', huh?" You didn't even look down this time : you stared at him, no trace of a smile on your lips. "When I said you could come if you wanted to, I didn't say  that so you could come and be condescending."

"I'm not gonna wish you a happy birthday after I saw you hit on that guy in a fucking song!" he yelled, pointing at Bucky. Darren's anger was so unjustified that you would've laughed at him, hadn't you been remotely nice and equally angry at him.

Bucky didn't say a word as he slowly put Darren's hand down. You noticed he'd used his metal arm, even though you knew for a fact he was right handed and usually prioritised his dominant hand. That was quite passive-agressive ; you held back a smile.

"Do you even hear what you're saying?" Keeping your cool was not an option anymore, and you walked away from everyone. Contrary to Darren's belief, you didn't like 'putting on a show'.

"We're going home, now," he said firmly. "Your little crisis lasted long enough."

"My crisis? You've left me alone at home for days and now you expect me to come back? You're unbelievable, Darren. And you started pulling this shit before we were even engaged!"

"You never complained about this,  so why do it now?"

"Because I can't take it anymore! Is that so hard to believe? Is it hard to understand that I want to be treated the way I deserve?"

You ran a hand through your hair, looking at Darren in disbelief as the anger in his eyes just grew harder.

"You know what?" you continued. "If you have nothing better to say, I might as well just  go back to the people who really love me. As far as I'm concerned, this" — you gestured at the both of  you – "is over."

You turned around, feeling a huge confidence boost that still wasn't strong enough to overcome your disappointment.

"What's that on your back?" His voice was so low compared to seconds earlier that you looked back at him.

"What?"

He walked up to you fast, but too slowly not to be noticed by Steve and Bucky, who'd been watching the scene carefully. Despite their obvious strength, they couldn't get to you before Darren violently lifted the back of your t-shirt, scratching  your back with his nail at the same time. You let out a cry and next thing you knew, Darren was pinned against the wall, held back by Bucky's arm.

"You lied," he whispered. "You do have a tattoo."

Damn. You had always been careful to wear high waisted jeans. All it took was one careless pair of shorts. You had no answer to give to him, so Darren looked at Bucky instead.

"It's you. Right? I fucking knew it." He looked back at you. "I should've known you weren't to be trusted around other guys. You're such a-"

"I think you should leave." Steve had laid his hand on his friend's shoulder to try and calm him down. Bucky let go of your husband and shot you a side glance to check on you. You were crossing your arms on your chest and your eyes had never been more interested in the floor.

"Steve's right," you uttered. "You should go." You  walked away with these words. You hadn't even noticed there was no longer any music playing in the room. Silence was oppressing and everyone seeing you cry was not an option. You walked to your room in daze. Once you felt the door closing behind you, you allowed yourself to break down. It was a knock on the door that made you tilt your head up a few minutes later.

--- You have no idea how excited I am for part 9!!! If I wasn't strictly following my self-imposed rule of having two unpublished chapters at all times, I would post it right away. x) I hope you liked this one!! Feel free to give me any notes you may have : I improve thanks to readers.

Message me if you want to be added to the tag list (seeing it grow is making me so happy)!

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@ginger-swag-rapunzel @joscelyn02 @coniumalces @writehistorynotthegrocerylist @bluemoon-icecream @lady-loki-ren @simplybombshell

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #7 (part two)

Victor

I'm not going to lie. I was scared.

Maybe it's stupid to be so anxious about thunderstorms, but I can't help it. This one was the most intense storm I'd ever experienced in my entire life, and there I was, outside in the middle of it.

I’ve never liked thunderstorms, but my fear of them really started when I was seven years old. My mom was watching the news one evening, and I was playing in the same room where she was watching TV, and I happened to hear something about a woman who died after being struck by lightning. For some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about it, and I even had a nightmare about it that night. In my dream, it hadn't been some random stranger who’d died after being struck by lightning, though; it'd been my dad. In reality, my dad had passed away the previous year, when I was six, and it’d had nothing at all to do with the weather. But, I guess a child's mind deals with fear and grief in unexpected ways.

For a long time after that, any time it rained hard at night — whether there was accompanying thunder and lightning or not — I’d rush to my mom’s room to make sure she was okay. I was terrified something would happen to her and, in the illogical way of a little boy, I was absolutely convinced that some malicious force of nature would be to blame for taking her from me.

She was always fine when I went to check on her, and she’d let me climb into bed and snuggle with her until I fell asleep. I remember how comforting it was to feel the palm of her hand on my back, moving in slow circles, soothing away my ragged breathing and my tears.

Obviously, I grew out of needing that kind of consolation from my mom, but I never grew out of my fear of thunderstorms. In fact, it may have gotten worse as I’ve gotten older.

Thankfully, we don't get a lot of thunder and lightning where I live now in Mt. Komorebi, and the storms never last very long. On the rare occasions that we do have a thunderstorm, my typical way of dealing with it is to hide in my bed with the blankets over my head. Yuri usually crawls under the covers with me and holds me till it's over. He knows how irrationally afraid I get whenever it storms, and he's really good at helping me through it. Sitting there all by myself in that insanely tiny boat, I wished more than anything that I was at home, curled up in my bed with Yuri, listening to his quiet voice reassuring me that he’d stay close to me and that everything would be okay.

With the weather having taken a decided turn for the worse, I ditched my idea of swimming to the AquaZip. In desperation, I looked around for Alana, but of course I didn’t see her. I yelled her name a bunch of times, wondering if she was able to hear me through the wind and rain.

Maybe if I stood up, I’d have a better chance of seeing her, I reasoned, but that was… Well, let’s just say it was a super bad choice. Never stand up in a boat. Seriously, it’s dangerous. This is major personal experience talking, here.

I actually don’t know what happened. I’m not sure if I slipped, or lost my balance, or what. All I can tell you is, before I could do anything about it, I was plunging into the ocean, and I was not ready at all.

I swallowed a huge mouthful of seawater on the way down. It felt like it took several minutes for me to orient myself and fight my way upwards, even though I realize now that it couldn’t have been more than ten or fifteen seconds. When I broke the surface, my arms and chest were aching. I was coughing up water, and my eyes, throat and nostrils were stinging from the ocean’s salt. I thrashed around like some idiotic caricature of a guy who’s fallen overboard, utterly determined not to sink again, and doing precisely the wrong thing to keep myself afloat.

I’m going to drown, I thought. And then, I don’t want to die alone in a foreign country during a thunderstorm.

And then I thought of Yuri, and how I’d told him I would come back safe. If my own desperate need for self-preservation wasn’t already enough to fuel my motivation to stop flailing and start swimming, the fear that I’d never see my soulmate again certainly added purpose to it.

I’m going to come home to you, Yuri. I promise.

I must’ve repeated that a hundred times in my head as I swam. I don’t even care how dramatic it might sound to all of you watching this after the fact. It kept me going, and that’s all that mattered to me in the circumstances.

I’ve never been more grateful for anything than I was for the moment my hand touched the side of the AquaZip. I think it took about two seconds for me to pull myself out of the water and scramble onto it. I don’t know how I managed to remember how to get it going, but I did. All I could think about was getting ashore.

I couldn’t take the AquaZip all the way to land, so as soon as I judged the water to be shallow enough, I jumped off and tried to run to the beach. It’s hard to run in the water, especially when it’s up to your waist. Not unpredictably, I stumbled and splashed down face-first.

When I came up, I was somehow facing out to sea again. You know the proverbial last straw? That was it. I lost all the willpower I’d had up to that point. All I could do was stand there and sob, exhausted, frightened, and unable to make my brain or my body obey me any longer.

That was when Alana finally showed up. She looked perfectly fine, not the least bit bothered by the weather, and not particularly concerned that she’d pretty much abandoned me to my fate.

“Alana!” I shouted. “Where were you?”

“I told you, I was diving,” she said. “Are you okay?”

“No! No, I’m not okay! I thought I was going to die out there! Couldn’t you hear me?”

“Yes, I did hear you, but I was around the other side of that big rock formation. By the time I got over here, you’d almost made it back to where we left the AquaZip.”

“Why weren’t you watching me? I failed so hard at sailing, and then the storm started, and… and…”

“Victor, you need to calm down,” she said. “You need to take some deep breaths, and then we’re going to get out of the water, okay? We need to get you to somewhere warm and dry.”

I heard her words, but I wasn’t really listening any more. Calming down and taking deep breaths was the farthest thing from my mind. I’m not ashamed to admit I was crying so hard that I could barely breathe at all, much less take a deep breath, and I couldn’t stop shaking.

Alana didn’t say anything else. She took me by the arm and turned me around. I let her lead me a little way, but once I noticed the water was only touching my feet and ankles, I shook her off and began to sprint.

That short dash must’ve used up whatever energy I had left, because by the time I reached the safety of the beach, I was totally done. My legs were so rubbery that I couldn’t hold myself up, and I literally fell on my face in the sand. Fortunately I had enough remaining sense to roll myself over, but that was about it. I was wet and dirty and shivering, and I didn’t care. I closed my eyes and lay there, not moving, just infinitely relieved that I wasn't dead.

[fakeloveaskblog]

First, let's get one thing out of the way: independent of the fact that you left without saying anything, or "were selfish", you do not deserve to be hurt Remy. Please believe me.

As for the yelling thing. We… well, really just me, I had a talk with Virgil. While you were away, Remy. Don't worry, he's not… he's trying not to yell at you so much anymore. I could probably converse with him a bit more in the future, if you'd like? I don't like the fact that he insulted and hurt you before he… remembered himself, and some advice on how to be a decent human being that I gave him. (Yeah let's go with that, it's a nicer descriptor.)

See, I have to believe that he can improve on his behavior at least a little, and also I was trying to make you, specifically, both be and feel a little safer here *makes it so only Remy can hear this next part, which they were already doing anyway to the whole message but this part specially* while you choose to remain here, you can always leave, you can walk out at any time and not come back at all ever, please remember that *keeps talking normally* and I have to believe that's not a hopeless endeavor.

(tw self harm)

Remy had managed to get up from the floor. They'd dragged a chair over to the stove so they could sit down while cooking some eggs and a toast. The smell of coffee would have been filling the kitchen if they hadn't moved on from chain smoking to straight up just getting high. At like 8 am in the morning no less.

They stared down into the store glowing red hot "Don't I deserve being hurt just for existing tho. I'm a fucking burden"

There was only enough food for one since Remy usually didn't eat breakfast. A dinner lasted them a day normally. They looked a bit- very tired as they kept listening to you.

"Supa thanks girlies for talking with Viv. I dunno what the hell you told him. I mean he was like super nice today wasn't he. Like it was like eerie almost with how he just like stopped yelling before I'd even like started crying. Did y'all ghost hypnotize him or something?" They half slurred out while rubbing their eyes. They should have really learnt not to mix their actual prescribed medicine and weed together by now.

"No like seriously babes I know I'm like so annoying and I keep being all like self hatey and it's gotta sound so whiny so like thanks for still like not killing me. I'm sure you ghost demon things could like kill me if you wanted to. But yeah he's like tots improving. Feel free to talk to him again if you like want. I'm sure he will be happier if he won't have to be anxious about 'hurting me' anymore so this is all tots good right. I'm sure he's like a new man now! Thanks baaaabeee you suceeded!! Yay!!"

Their expression suddenly turned serious when they heard you say the quiet part. They quickly put out the joint and leaned closer as if just listening to you was a crime.

They checked behind them, held their breathe, waited until they heard Virgil snore again. And still then they waited a minute or two before even daring to respond.

"I- I....It's not- it's not like I can actually leave is it?- Not that I want to!!! I would never! I love Viv and Viv loves me. He needs me. I need him. I- He controls so much I don't- I don't know how to live without him. Literally. Like no one wants me. I can't like work. He's been handling all the money stuff. I don't- I barely even know where I would start if I left"

Remy quieted. They were silent for another minute before slowly moving their hand up to their mouth. They traced their finger over their lips while thinking.

".......Do you......Do you think Janus would take me in? He....he's being so kind...what if he would let me live with him? Is that- could that be possible?"

They pressed their lips so tight together the edges turned white. They listened for his snores again. It was a bad thought.

(There was a backpack hidden in the corner of the closet. It was packed with the most necessary. Clothes, extra toothbrush, soap, stuff like that. They'd packed it in a blur while Virgil was away at work after they'd had an argument. They hadn't felt safe. They'd told him it was just an emergency backpack in case the house burned down. just as they said when he wondered why they kept all their important documents in the drawer next to the bed. Remy hadn't dared touch the backpack since they'd packed it. It was Bad. Bad. Bad.)

"B-but I don't need to leave right? I mean he's being nice. He's changing. He's actually- it's actually not gonna happen again this time y'know. I feel safe. So- So I don't need to-"

Remy met your eyes. Their eyewhites had turned red, maybe from smoke, maybe from tears pressing on.

"Do you think Janus would let me stay?"

They stood up so suddenly the chair nearly fell down. They were able to catch it in the last moment. Another moment of listening for his snores went by before they dared move again.

"I shouldn't be thinking like this. What kind of fucked up partner makes up plans on how to leave while their fucking boyfriend sleeps in the other room!?"

They started to walk back and forth across the floor while tangling their fingers into their hair.

"What kind of horrible horrible person plans to stay over with the person they-"

Remy couldn't say it.

"I'm horrible. I'm horrible. I'm horrible"

Their hands trailed from their hair down to their neck.

"I'm horrible. I'm horrible. I'm horrible"

They knew exactly where to put their fingers to cut off their airways if they wanted to. It was stuck in their mind whether they wanted to or not.

"I'm horrible. I'm horrible. I'm horri-"

The air was cut off. They pressed down so hard around their throat their nails left marks.

The smoke filled the air still. They stared up at the fan and counted the seconds. It was a game they played. They saw how long they could stay standing without breathing.

Once their body couldn't stand anymore they sat down. When they couldn't sit they laid down. Until they had collapsed and all the energy they had left went to keeping their hands around their neck.

It felt like their eyes would pop out of their sockets. Their skin was burning. Their body begged for them to move their hands.

Their eyelids started to get heavy. Their hands weaker. Some of their muscles felt like they would start to spasm.

Remy finally let go. It was by pure need their body moved to breathe. They weren't controlling it. They laid on their back gasping for a few moments. They could hear the noise of the tv from their childhood home playing in the background.

His father and them had the same birthmark on their right hand. They held it up in front of their face. They imagined their father saw his own birthmark as he was choking them in the same exact way they saw it after they had choked themself.

After a few more seconds Remy got up and repeated the game. They didn't last as long this time. Their fingers went numb and let go almost as soon as they had to lay down.

They didn't let themself breathe for as long this time. They almost immediately got up and tried it again. Dark spots kept appearing in their blurry sight.

Sounds swam around in their eyes. There were tears on their cheeks they hadn't even noticed. It felt like their veins was trying to dig out through their skin.

They were horrible. They were horrible. They were horrible.

Remy passed out with their back against the cold tile floor.

-

"Hun? Honey? You idiot. Wake up"

Virgil was shaking their shoulders around. Remy slowly opened an eye and looked around. Their sight was dim. Maybe it was because the now much darker smoke surrounding them.

"You can't just fucking go to sleep while having food on the oven! Were you trying to kill us!?" He let out a sigh and cupped their cheeks "Are you okay?"

"i uhhh made breakfast" They slurred out while their eyelids closed again.

Virgil shook them around again so they wouldn't go back to sleep. He pressed a quick kiss to their lips before picking them up and carrying them to the bedroom. Their head lolled against his shoulder.

"Yeah sure babe. An amazing breakfast"

A soft groan left their lips when he laid them down. Their mouth was half open and their eyes close to rolling back into their skull. Their limbs were all numb even when Virgil moved to take their shirt off. They were so powerless he could easily move them around.

"What you doing vivsi?" They slurred out. Everything became dizzying.

"You stink. Your clothes smell like smoke babe. I would get you bath but I got work. Just making sure you don't have to sleep in this at least"

"mhm. what a caring lil vivsi"

"Fucking hell. How much did you smoke. You bitch. See this is what I mean with you being annoying. I can't take a nap without you trying to fucking off yourself. it's exhausting being around you-"

He took a deep breathe and tried to focus on what he was actually feeling instead of the anger pressing on.

"I just care about you so much it hurts to see you like this"

"im soooorry"

"Do I have to strap you to the bed or something so you can't freaking kill yourself while I'm gone at work. Affectionate strapping I promise"

"I just like freaked out. It's fine"

"....Sure" He pressed a gentle kiss to their forehead which made them smile "When I get back I'll get you some bruise creme for your neck okay? I love you. Please don't do this to yourself. Tell me if you need me to buy anything. Love you"

"Love you too. Kill someone for me at work. But not the weed guy please"

"I'll kill several don't worry"

He kissed them again before waving goodbye and leaving. He was sure as hell not going to eat the burn victims disguised as 'eggs'.

Remy rolled over onto their side. They traced their finger over their neck. A dark bruise had already started to form. It hurt but it was good. They deserved it. Just as they deserved any harsh words Virgil should have yelled at them. They were horrible after all.

They closed their eyes and thought of Janus again.

[emachinescat]

Title: Of Concussions and Incorrigible Cons | Fandom: Psych

Summary: AU of the pilot episode. After being reprimanded by the interim chief, Head Detective Carlton Lassiter bites off more than he can possibly chew after attempting to apologize to a concussed Spencer for the less than gentle arrest at the end of the McCallum case. Spoilers for "Domestic Pilot." Part 1 of my whumpy episodic AU series, "AU that Glitters."

Words: 1,951

TW: None

AO3 Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Humor, Episode AU: s01e01: Domestic Pilot, Whump

Year Published: 2017

Full story here or on AO3!

Head Detective Carlton Lassiter stood in front of the interim chief's door, fist poised to knock and foot tapping an anxious rhythm on the floor. Vick had been rather short with him when she'd asked him to come to her office as soon as the paperwork for the McCallum case had been taken care of. It wasn't the "I'm busy, so make it quick" kind of short, either… she was agitated about something.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked.

Her voice rang out from inside, dead serious as could be. Yeah, she was pissed about something.

He entered, and opted for the ignorant approach, which was just as well, because he really had no idea what this was about. After all, he'd already been given a stern-talking to about inter-department romance and Lucinda was in the process of being transferred. A little swell of fury rose at the thought of the man – the so-called "psychic" who had so carelessly ruined one of the only positive things he had going for him.

"Detective Lassiter. Please sit."

He sat stiffly in the proffered chair, refusing to let the cushy trappings lull him into a false sense of security. He maintained eye contact with the chief, letting her know that he was completely comfortable in the situation that he found himself in, and that he had nothing to hide. Never mind the fact that he wasn't all that comfortable with the cloak and dagger business, being left in the dark about why he was here in the first place. "Chief. What can I do for you?"

Vick's eyes may have softened the tiniest bit at his cordial greeting, but she still did not look like a happy camper.

"I'm going to be honest with you, Detective," she said bluntly. "This could have turned out much worse. As it is, I am going to have to give you an informal reprimand and warn you to be very careful in the future."

Lassiter blinked. "Uh, Chief… What…?"

"Detective, you cannot be physically aggressive toward civilians who are in your custody, unless they are resisting arrest or are posing a threat to you or others around you."

Still trying to work through the confusion, Lassiter was both offended and relieved that there had been a mistake like this, that Vick actually thought that he'd attack a non-resisting civilian. Whatever she'd heard, it was all a big mix up. "Chief, let me assure you that I would never—"

"Shawn Spencer. McCallum residence. Yesterday afternoon. Ring any bells?"

Lassiter blanched. "Spencer hardly counts as a civilian. He's a hindrance to real police work, a distraction, and at the time, he was trespassing. I had to take him in." He left the bitter, At least, until he solved my damn case, left unspoken.

"Be that as it may, Detective, your shoving him head-first into the frame of the car was a bit overboard, don't you think?"

Wait, this was what this was about? Seriously?

"He was resisting arrest, Chief. He was… flailing and pretending to have 'visions' and acting like a crazy person!"

A delicate but ferocious eyebrow lifted. "Not when you shoved him into the car. And may I remind you, he did solve the case?"

"Did he tell you this? That little…"

"Detective!" the chief cut him off before he could say anything to get himself into any more trouble, which, although he didn't appreciate at the time, he was begrudgingly thankful for after the fact. "Mr. Spencer didn't tell me anything. I was there, remember? I saw the whole thing… whatever it was."

Oh. Right. Damn that Spencer for getting into his head like this!

"He's fine, Chief," Lassiter responded, much more calmly this time. "Don't let him take advantage of you. This country is crawling with people faking injuries just to get a few thousand dollars from a lawsuit."

"I told you, Mr. Spencer said nothing to me. His father, on the other hand, called me this morning in a rage. Thankfully, I was able to calm him down and help him to see reason, but it wasn't easy."

"So he went and told his daddy that he got a boo-boo at the crime scene?" Lassiter couldn't keep the disgusted contempt out of his voice this time. "I thought they hated each other, anyway?"

"They have a… complicated relationship, and it really isn't our place to bring that under speculation. However…" She sighed. "It is my job to make sure that my officers are not allowing their emotions or anger, no matter how warranted said anger might be, to get the better of them. Especially after what Henry told me this morning. Apparently, Mr. Guster had to take Shawn to the emergency room last night after his headache peaked and he lost consciousness briefly. Mr. Spencer is being treated for a concussion, Detective, and that is why we're having this talk."

"Oh." Lassiter wasn't sure what to say beyond that, but he slapped away the little niggle of guilt that tried to burrow into him at the news. He hadn't meant to hurt Spencer, certainly not that badly. The man was being difficult, had lost Lassiter his girlfriend, his respect… had mocked him by acting like an idiot and still managing to solve the case first…

"Shawn himself is not going to press charges or file a report, though I was obligated to contact him about the matter. He said – and these are his words – that 'Mr. Grumpy Detective-Face is emotionally stunted and is just trying to express how much he likes me in the only way he knows how.'" Vick looked marginally amused as she read Spencer's response off the sheet in front of her. A muscle in Lassiter's neck twitched. "Now, those exact words could be because of the concussion…"

Lassiter fought the urge to roll his eyes. "They're not, Chief. Trust me."

Now appearing to be fighting a smile, the chief said, "Consider this your unofficial reprimand and warning to control your irritation when you are faced with a particularly difficult witness… or consultant. Because once he is feeling better, I do believe the department will be calling on Mr. Spencer again."

This time, Lassiter couldn't stop the eye roll. Or the groan. Vick smiled. "You're dismissed, Detective."

"Yes, ma—uh, I mean, Chief."

***

Shawn was woken when the doorbell rang, the sound slicing through his aching head like a butter knife through steak... or however that saying went. Without bothering to get up from where he was sprawled on the couch, he called out, "It's open."

Damn, concussions sucked. It was bad enough that Gus had practically dragged him to the hospital after he'd had some sort of dizzy spell last night, but then he'd called his dad to boot? Was this now Gus with his mom for additional parental torture? Not that he would mind seeing his mom… but he was so over worried hovering. Gus played the part of a worried mother exceptionally well, and Shawn couldn't handle two of them… Which was made irrelevant when the door opened to reveal not his mother, but…

"Detective Lassiter?"

Lassiter stepped into Shawn's apartment, keen blue eyes taking the coffee table littered with empty pudding cups, icepacks, water bottles, and prescription bottles. "You just leave your front door unlocked for anyone to come waltzing in? You're just begging to be robbed." Upon taking another look around at the untidy living space, his lip curled and he added, "Or maybe not."

Shawn struggled to sit up past the monkey playing cymbals in his head. "Your contempt for my apartment aside, what are you doing here?"

The detective hesitated. "I was just in the neighborhood and I…" Shawn watched knowingly as the detective's gaze shifted to the rather impressive bruise on his head.

"You wanted to check on me? Oh, Detective, you shouldn't have!"

"I didn't," growled Lassiter. He paused. "This was a mistake. I'll just—"

"Wait!" Shawn shifted, patting the sofa seat beside him. "Come in. Sit down. Rest your rumpus. Put your feet up. Slow your roll. Chillax your—"

With an irritated grunt, the detective passed the threshold and sat in the chair farthest away from Shawn. "Look. I didn't exactly… yesterday, when I…"

"I know, I know. You were just expressing your love for me in the only way you know how, like that little boy in school who pulls the little girl's pigtails because he thinks she's cute."

"Absolutely not."

"Okay, you got me—" Shawn winced as a particularly painful wave shot through his poor, abused noggin. "I was that kid in school. Her name was Melinda, and she had the cutest, bounciest set of—"

"Dear Lord, please stop talking."

"I was going to say pigtails, dude. Mind. Gutter. Get it out."

"This is a monumental waste of my time," the detective spat, standing up so abruptly it almost gave Shawn vertigo… Or wait, he might have already had vertigo, wasn't that a concussion symptom ? And what was vertigo, anyway? Besides an Alfred Hitchcock flick?

Past the pounding in his skull, Shawn heard footsteps stomping away, toward the door. Despite the telltale ringing in his ears, Shawn scrabbled to his feet, ignoring the dark spots dancing wildly in front of his eyes. His pulse hammered, his breath felt short and stunted, and the dizziness spiked. He knew what was going to happen seconds before it did. He was unconscious before he hit the floor.

***

When the world swam back into focus, Shawn was surprised to find that he was back on the couch, not in a heap on the floor. He noticed blearily that his hands tingled like he'd been sitting on them for a couple of weeks, and his ears were still ringing like a high school band had paraded between them and accidentally left the triangle player behind. With a groan against the horrible pounding that had overtaken his skull – the procession of drummers must've gotten left behind, too – he rolled over to see Head Detective Carlton Lassiter kneeling next to the couch.

"You passed out," the detective stated helpfully.

"I did not," Shawn argued, mostly out of obligatory need to irritate whoever was in his general vicinity. "I fell asleep, suddenly and quickly, in a very manly and not wimpy way."

"Sure you did. Just be glad I got to you before you hit the ground. You would have a matching bruise on the other side of your head."

Shawn feigned shock. "So you dashed to my side, caught me before I hit the ground, gently placed me on the sofa, and lingered over my prone body until you knew I wasn't on death's door? Detective, I'm touched."

Lassiter half-sneered, half-smirked. "You were only out for a handful of seconds. I was hoping you'd stay out of it long enough for me to escape, but of course you had to ruin that plan, too."

Shawn winced, only partly out of pain. "Look, man, I'm sorry about your girlfriend. I just—"

The detective stood hastily, popping up from the ground like a Jack-in-the-Box with a strong Irish hairline and lots of pent-up aggression. "We don't talk about that. Ever."

Shawn lifted both hands up in mock surrender. Lassiter's face softened, just the tiniest, miniscule bit. "You're okay, though? Do I need to call your father or someone—?"

"No! I would rather you leave me here to die."

Lassiter shrugged. "Works for me." He strode for the door.

Shawn hesitated, licked his lips, and then offered, "Detective? Thanks."

"Just take it easy," the detective advised.

It was as close to an apology as Shawn was going to get, and, though Shawn might not have shown it through his next words, he did in fact appreciate it.

"Lassie," Shawn said, testing out the new nickname he'd been considering since he'd met the detective. He watched with glee as the man bristled in agitation.

"What?" the detective ground out through gritted teeth.

"I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

The head detective had fled the apartment and slammed the door before Shawn could blink. Shawn settled back into the couch cushions and tried to will his head to stop raging against him. Or at least a plain but not drop-dead-ugly working tolerance, he amended in his head, before he drifted off to sleep.

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

“I wanted to tell you Jimin. I wanted to tell you so badly.”

Jimin looked at my face with a serious expression, giving me the cue to go on.

“That day when you asked me if I had found my soulmate, I wanted to tell you that yes, I had found my soulmate. And that it was you….but I didn't….I couldn't say it.”

“Do you….wish you did say it? That day?”

I nodded slowly, and Jimin looked sideways, avoiding my gaze. “Wow..Y/N….I don’t know what to say….I…”

“Nothing. You don't need to say anything at all.” I took his hand in mine, not wanting to let go. “Now that I look back, I just wish I had. I would have avoided all the disputes, all the disagreements that I caused.”

Jimin put his other hand on our intertwined hands. Smiling softly, he looked in my eyes. “I don't think that would have been the best idea. You did need time to figure it out more clearly, Y/N. I think it was best that you kept quiet that time. Because see, where you are right now, is a clearer place. You came to know your feelings more clearly now, and you were willing to fight for it. I don’t see anything wrong with that.”

This was all too much for me. I let go, falling in his arms helplessly, and he hugged me back, patting my back lightly and smiling to himself. The moment always seemed to stop when I was with him; this time, it was no different. I closed my eyes, feeling his aroma surrounding me from all sides. “Jimin…” I whispered. “Shh…its okay. I know.” He silenced me with his soft voice, and there was nothing left for me to do except stand still and feel the seconds tick by ever so slowly.

After some time, I stepped back from the hug and stood in front of him, looking down. “I…have to talk to Tae too.” I said, fiddling with my t-shirt. Jimin opened his mouth to say something, but he was interrupted by a voice which I honestly wasn’t expecting here.

“No need.”

We both turned around at the sound, our breaths stopping short. We silently looked at Tae, then turned to look at each other before looking at Tae again.

“Did you…?” I trailed off as he nodded grimly. “Yes. I heard.”

I gulped, stepping towards him. “Tae…I didn’t want you to find out this way.”

He looked down. “It's okay.” He said. “I don’t mind the way I found it out as long as I know what it is.”

“Still…..I'm sorry.” I said, biting my lip. I couldn’t find anything on his face that would tell me what he was feeling, and as I tried to look closer, I found he had the same blank expression on his face. I looked back at Jimin to find that he was just as clueless as I was, and when he found me looking at him, he shrugged lightly, shaking his head.

“I gotta go now.” Tae said suddenly, and I looked back at him. “Tae, I-"

He looked coolly at me, stopping me from saying anything else by just his gaze. I waited with bated breath, for him to say something.

“Y/N…I’m going to say this once, and you just have to listen and ask no questions, okay?”

“Okay…?” I looked again at Jimin, and he nodded slightly, reassuring me. I turned back to Tae, more certain this time. “Okay.”

“I am over you.”

“What?” Jimin was the one to ask this question, because I stood rooted on the spot, not believing my ears. Was this why he had become normal around me?

Tae kept looking at me with the coldest look one could possibly have. “Y/N, look….I did use to have feelings for you, but not anymore. I am just saying those 8 months changed me a lot, and I have realised that I can live without you.”

I couldn’t say anything. I stood at my place, looking at his face, trying to find anything on his face that would tell me he was lying. He again had the blank expression on his face….why the heck was I even bothering to find something anyway?

“I will talk later.” He said, and shot out of my house like he was running late to catch a train. “Tae-” Jimin started but he had already left. I looked dumbfounded at the door, not understanding what to make of this. A few seconds passed by in silence, or, in confusion.

“What the heck.” Jimin whispered softly, then he looked at me. I was still looking at the door.

“Are you okay?” He said, stepping towards me. Putting a hand on my shoulder, he turned me around to face him. I frowned. “Yeah, I’m good. I just don't understand what….exactly happened here.”

“Me neither.” Jimin said, looking back at the door through which Tae had just left.

“If he is really over me….then it's good, I guess.” I said slowly. “I don’t need to talk to him then.”

“Yeah….” I looked up at Jimin at the uncertainty in his voice, and found him frowning, deep in thought. “What happened?” I asked.

He looked back at me, and sighed. “Y/N…I don't think he’s okay. But you don’t need to worry. I think I need to have a chat with him.”

I kept looking at him with a confused expression for a few moments before speaking. “So…what are you saying?”

“Lay low for a while. That’s all.”

He left, and I wondered. Was what Tae said true? If so, that’s why he was behaving all normal with me. That could be possible. But Jimin knew Tae better, and him saying that Tae might not be okay was worrying me. I couldn’t point a finger as to what exactly was wrong between them, but something was going on…something that was hidden in plain sight.

I sighed in defeat. I knew I should’ve told Tae first…to avoid all the drama. Tae was an impatient person, and I had thought I should tell Jimin first because he would be happier to know my decision and he could have told me how exactly to talk to Tae about all this. From last night's events, all that I could gather was that Tae, or the whole group in general, was normal after all these months but was still sensitive to the topic of the incident that happened between us.

Eh. Why was I even thinking of all this? I couldn’t do anything right now anyway. Since I hadn’t exactly talked to Tae…..I couldn’t exactly talk to anyone else before that. And anyway, Jimin had told me to lay low…which meant keeping this info under thin wraps. I could tell someone I wanted to, but what was that going to do here anyway? Ugh…..this boy was driving me crazy….him and his blank expressions were the death of me.

Oh, how badly I wanted to talk to Kookie.

Sighing louder than the last time, I went to close the door to forget the incident for now and get going with my daily routine, but I couldn’t see what was written on the other side of the door.

**********************************************

“Your order is coming right up, sir. Please just wait a few more minutes.” I said to the boy standing in front of me who was tapping his foot impatiently, looking at his phone. He looked up from his phone at my voice, taking his sunglasses off as he did so. “Wow….you are really pretty.” I smiled besides my extreme frustration. “Thanks.” I said. That was no compliment, it was something else. Something which I had gone through like a gazillion times today already.

"You're the girl, right?" He smiled widely, with bright eyes. "I know you are. I can't tell you how much it means to me that I met you."

I looked at him with narrowed eyes, trying to find anything that suggested that he was lying. Of course he was, apparently everyone knew that I worked here anyway...so it was not a chance meeting, was it?

"Hmm." I smiled slightly and nodded, having failed to find anything on his face that suggested anything at all. I remembered doing this to Tae two days ago...maybe it wasn't his blank expression's fault...maybe I was lousy in figuring people out. Great for a girl in my situation, I thought with a sigh.

The guy kept looking at me, making me feel uneasy. Get the heck outta here, I wanted to yell at him, but I couldn't. I wasn't in the right position to do that; I had a job to keep.

"Can I take a selfie with you?" The guy said.

"Here....is your order, sir." I said, relieved at my luck working at least once in my life. "That would be $7.99."

The guy paid quietly and left, looking at me sceptically. I just knew he would be coming back again.

I sighed, punching the counter a little harder than intended. No one noticed.

This was the thousandth time someone had asked for a selfie. What were they going to do with it anyway? Post it on social media with the caption - "Here is the bitch you need to destroy, ARMY"?

This was my first day at work after that ridiculous rumor had started three days ago. And things were already pretty much chaotic over here. I won't say that I hated my job, but considering everything that was going on here, I wasn't actually in the state to say that I liked the job either. The manager was pleased with me, but his reason for doing that was the exact reason why I was hating this experience. In fact, to say that he was pleased with me would be an understatement.

"Customers have doubled since that rumor. Everyone wants to see you, Y/N-ie." He had said, smiling almost too excitedly for an old man who had no particular interests in life except his shop and his golf set. "You are our good luck charm, and I want to reward you for doing a bang up job by giving you a raise. You're just priceless for us."

You want to express that I'm priceless, by putting a higher price tag on me...? Well...go ahead and just stab me in the heart, why don't you?

This statement somehow reminded me of Tae, and I sighed softly to myself. I hadn't contacted him since he had left my house two days ago...and frankly, I didn't want to until Jimin said something. But as two days had passed and there was no news from Jimin, I was getting more and more anxious...was everything okay? Did Jimin forget to call me, or was he waiting for me to call? I didn't know, and the limitless possibilities of incidents happening was what was worrying me the most. What was with Tae's reaction anyway? Was he really okay? Or was he angry again? Had something happened again with the group? Another fight? More drama?

Ugh...how I had wanted to avoid it this time around, and how it had hit me right back in my face like a boomerang. Yep, my efforts were like a boomerang. Great.

I hadn't even talked to Jungkook. Nor had he tried to contact me. I didn't even know what it was like on the internet now, I hadn't even dared to open the social media. I was scared to see something I just couldn't digest...but at the same time, I was also scared that if it was something even more ridiculous, it could make Jungkook angrier than he already was. I really wanted to talk to him...but I had to trust Jimin and lay low.

"Excuse me. Hello?" My thoughts were interrupted by a girl who had been waving at me for God knew how long. "Yes, ma'am. What would you like to order?" I said with the most professional smile on my face, slightly regretting the fact that my daydreaming abilities were on point today.

"Actually, I just wanted to get a picture with you." She smiled widely.

I narrowed my eyes for a slight moment, gulping down the anger, and the urge to murder someone. After a moment, I looked up at her, giving her a smile.

"Do you have anything you would like to order again, ma'am?"

Getting out of the shop had never been this relieving before, I thought as I stepped into the cold night. It had snowed earlier that day, but not too heavily. I used to love the job, until...whatever had happened. I was so tired that I didn't even want to try to recall the events that had led to this moment. I didn't know what I was going to do now. I had no friends here..my family didn't live here. I had absolutely zero experience in dodging this kind of situation, and with no support, I was really scared. I was friends with Jeon Jungkook...the golden maknae of BTS, I knew that...but we had been friends from the start, since before he was famous. Getting to be friends with BTS was not something I had chosen for myself, it was something that just happened. Granted that they were globally recognised artists now, but what had I got to do with it? Did I do something wrong by being their friends since before they were famous? What had I done wrong? Why couldn't people get that through their heads? Couldn't they even think about BTS for a second? Because of these fans, all the boys had to keep me and all of their other female friends hidden...could that not awaken a sense of realisation in these people?

"Y/N!!" Somebody yelled my name, and all of a sudden there were people running towards me from every direction.

They know my name now..?

Sighing, I put my head down, and started walking faster to avoid those people. That wasn't even going to be of any use...these people were going to catch up to me eventually. And God knew what they were going to do. Couldn't I just get a peaceful good night's sleep at my home? Did it have to be this way? Ugh, how I wished the earth split up and swallowed me whole right about now.

Strangely, God listened to my prayer...but in a weird way...the earth didn't pull me under it, but a van, which had come alongside me, did.

I didn't even have time to react as the back door of the van opened suddenly, and a hand pulled me inside it. The van started driving away.

I opened my mouth to scream but the same hand covered my mouth tightly.

"Do not scream, and don't try to say a word until I tell you to." A male voice whispered furiously.

I sat quiet, my mouth shut tight, and my eyes wide, blinking rapidly, trying to figure out what was going on but I failed to do so in the darkness inside the van. My heart beat really fast; I couldn't even think coherently.

"Why do you have the lights turned off? Seriously!!" He said again, presumably to the driver, taking his hand away from my mouth as he did so. As a result, the lights came on after a second, and I could look at the person who had "kidnapped" me. And I screamed.

"What the heck, Jungkook??!!!"

Can You Keep A Secret? Pt.18

Part 17//Part 18//Part 19

For other parts and the MASTERLIST, please refer to the link in my bio. Thank you so much for reading!!

So...yeah, I know. Belated Happy New Year to you all...I was super busy and I just couldn't post. So here it is, in all its glory, whatever it is, haha. I hope you all had a good new year's, and if you want to talk about it, DM me and we can chat!! And if you have anything to say to me about the story, you can always ask me, I'm always waiting for your beautiful asks. Stay updated, and happy reading!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summary: Your close friend Taehyung, shares a secret with you, a big secret: You have had a crush on Jimin for the past 6 years. But what he doesn't know is that you have done something bigger than that, something that could destroy many people's lives in seconds. That's a secret for you to keep. But something even bigger is floating in the air: what you have done could destroy BTS's friendship forever...but that's a secret even you don't know yourself.

Pairing: Reader × Jimin/Taehyung ft. Other Members

Genre: Angst

Tag(s): @slut-for-fandoms

[thehabilableheart]

To my forever Twin Flame.. 10/17/21

Did you know that your twin flame isn't always the person you end up with? While you have multiple soulmates in all different forms, you have one twin flame. Your twin flame can be a person you end up with... spending your whole lives together, in happiness and bliss... Or they can become Karmic. You can meet at the wrong time and not make it in a relationship. You become lessons, and maybe someday, maybe even in another life, actually end up together. We turned Karmic. I can tell you exactly why, but please, take the time to actually "hear me out".. please? When I met you, it was a whirlwind of love. My soul knew your soul as if it was looking in a mirror. In a sense, it was. Being near you felt magnetic, and incredibly warm. It felt safe. You were getting your life together. You knew the direction you were heading in. But me? Absolutely not. I had just gotten out of a lifestyle that made me want to die. If I hadn't left where I was... I wouldn't be alive today and I know that for a fact. I was giving up and didn't know where to turn. When we first started talking, you told me about how interested you were in learning how to lucid dream. I dream of you. And not always. But often. Most times when I feel anxious.. like I used to feel when you were going through something that stressed you out. The same way you felt when I was going through something that stressed me out. Because we were connected like that. I think we still are. Or maybe I'm crazy... but I'm convinced I still feel your stress and you still feel mine because ONLY when I feel that way do I have these dreams of you that feel SO real. Like we both called out so deeply for each other that we met in our dreams again and only there was it safe because talking in a dream would be temporary. I remember the first time we talked in a dream... I remember KNOWING we were in a dream.. and I begged you to tell me why you wouldn't talk to me in real life and why you would only come to me in my dreams. You kept avoiding it and redirecting me - distracting me with dates and sweet touches again. As if you didn't want to talk about the negative and just live in that dream for a minute with me. I remember reading somewhere that when you know it's a dream, you're not supposed to say that you know you're dreaming out loud because then you can get stuck in the dream. I feel like you were avoiding that happening to us. It's happened a few more times, it happened again last night.. but this time.. it was after I had spoken to a psychic that told me somehow we'd be in contact again soon.. In this dream, we laid down and again I asked you why you wouldn't just talk to me. I asked over and over if we could talk and work things out but instead of talking about it, you laid down next to me on a playground. We faced each other and I realized just our knees were touching when we were facing each other. I craved your hand in mine... you remember? How when our hands touched it felt magnetic? Warm? Tingly? Like they were meant to be together? I don't remember much else.. but.. I woke up wondering if that was the interaction we were going to have, or if something else would come. Now.. one of the psychics I spoke to told me not to reach out to you. That you would reach out to me soon. Was that it? Did you reach out? Do you want me to fight for you to show you effort? That's what you wanted me to do when we were together... And I wish I had. But I truly didn't have the energy. I was piecing myself back together too with very little glue. Twin flames that met at the wrong time. I was healing, and you were already just looking at old scars, no longer feeling them as if they were open wounds still in front of you the way mine were. Which brings me to this..

Juy 16, 2019

Hopefully I got your order right, and hopefully you can read my handwriting. Two song quotes come to mind about you. 1 is from the NF "Time" song about being in the same room but feeling so far away. That's how I felt this entire night trying to wait for you to wake up. The other is from "11 min" where he talks about the girl being the best and the worst he's ever had. I look at you putting in so muh work and it honestly melts my heart. I have so much love for you which is why I get scared so quickly. I pray that you don't get discouraged, but give me time to let those feelings of fear pass so we can see all the good things that can come. It hurts me more to see you hurt because I am. Funny right? But at the end of the day, you are so perfectly put together, your soul is so beautiful. I love every time that I feel your vibrate pattern on my phone, and every time I leave you I can't wait to come back. So this is me trying to prove to you that even though I have residual doubts and anxiousness, I want you to know that I want to see this through, to wherever it leads, and be the couple we both imagined however many months ago. I HAVE SO MUCH LOVE FOR YOU THAT THERES NO WAY YOU COULD UNDERSTAND RIGHT NOW. Have fun at work <3 - Your name

Now, before I get into my retorts for that note you gave me, I will take claim to my faults. I was healing.. I was working on myself while trying to love you and I fell back to horrible old ways/habits. And I am SO sorry that you experienced those. I truly am. I'm sorry I allowed my past to interfere with having you, and showing you that I truly did love you. When we split up, I allowed myself to throw on a bandaid by seeking out the attention of others when I truly shouldn't have.. I didn't know any other way. I was healing. When we split up.. I was worried you would ponder all my flaws anyway, so I sot out the men that already knew my flaws and still stuck around...I didn't know ANY other way.. I was HEALING. I was healing. I was healing. And that's not an excuse. I was wrong for using those kinds of bandaids again... But I didn't know any.. other.. way.. I messed up, yes. I own that. But you gave up and walked away. I understand why, completely.. I do. But you're my flame.. I'd never experienced true love until I met you.. and being scared isn't an excuse.. But that's the only answer I have. I was considering converting for you so one day you could have the wedding you wanted and still to this day.. I think about converting anyway because I know that with true faith, you can grow and be better than you have been. I'm sober now. I don't go out. I'm in school. I left the airlines because that gave me access to places and people I shouldn't see.. (Plus, AA has really gone down hill because of Covid) I've gotten better. For me mostly, but also because of you. Anyway.. I know better than to reach out to you. I do. But my subconscious has brought you into the dreams that feel the most real.. and I can't shake the feeling that there's a reason. If not in this lifetime.. then I'll find you in the next. Like I told you before.. this reminds me of that one episode of Black Mirror where they're in a simulation and they find their way back to each other because they're meant to be together. 98% of the time, they found their way back.. Maybe this is one of the times from the 2% and I have to wait for the next life.. and I will if I have to. But until then.. I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere.. To my forever Twin Flame.. I don't know what I did to make God give you to me the first time.. But I hope I can do it better the next time so I can keep you and take care of your heart the way I know it deserves, and I know I truly, properly can now.. I'm sorry for everything.. We became karmic because I wasn't healed. I hope one day you'll allow me the chance to prove I am now.

[d-noona]

MAKE OVER

Chapter 2: Librarian the seductress

Jung Hoseok x Reader

Reader as Kang Hyeonji

SUMMARY: When Kang Hyeonji transformed herself into a striking redhead, the entire male population of Seoul stood up and took notice. But her make over was for Jung Hoseok’s benefit alone. He began to show interest in the new look but not in the way she wanted. Suddenly he was over-protective, perhaps a little jealous. It seemed that the idea of having a relationship with her couldn’t be further from his mind. The girl however wants more. So it was time for an ultimatum. If Hoseok didn’t want Hyeonji to lose her virginity to another admirer, he had no option but to make love to her himself.

Hyeonji was standing at the library computer, running the wand over the first of the huge pile of returned books, when something caught her eye. Something bright and red. She glanced up through the glass door to see a shiny red car turning its brand-new nose into the empty parking space right outside the library. It brought no flash of recognition, despite being a memorable model. Not quite a sports car, it was stills stylish and expensive looking. A newcomer to the area, no doubt. Not knowing that this particular library branch was closed to the public on Wednesday morning. Hyeonji was about to return to the job at hand when the driver's door opened and a heart-jolting familiar head of hair came into view, gleaming under the summer sun.

Hoseok.

Her heart leaped. So he had remembered her birthday. He'd even come in person. She could hardly believe it. Her happiness knew no bounds as she watched him close the car and stride up onto the pavement and across to the front doors. He smiled at her through the grass as he tapped on the wooden frame.

"Can't they see were closed?" Choon Hee complained from where she was sitting at her desk, flipping through one of the new publisher catalogs. She could not see who was knocking. If she had, she would not be so anxious to send the unwanted visitor away. Min Choon Hee might be happily married to her husband Min Yoongi with three children, but she still had an eye for a good-looking man.

Hoseok was just that –and more. At twenty five, he was in his physical prime, his elegant body in perfect tune with his handsome face. His height was no joke either, his lean frame made him look even taller, and did his choice of clothing. In winter they range from soft suede numbers to tweedy sports coats. In summer he chose linen or lightweight wool in neutral colors, and teamed them with cool T-shirts. Ties rarely graced his neck. In fact, Hyeonji had never seen Hoseok dressed formally.

Today he was wearing stonewashed blue jeans, a navy shirt and a loose cream jacket with sleeves pushed up to his elbows. His black hair was longer than when she'd seen him last, falling to his ears from its side parting and flopping with its usual rakish charm across his high forehead. He looked slightly wind-blown and utterly gorgeous. Hyeonji immediately put her "moving on" decision on hold for a good seven years. Thirty, she decided a new, was soon enough to give up all hope. The fact that Hoseok was standing where he was at this very moment had to give her some hope. Fancy him abandoning his precious business on a working day to drive this long from Seoul to Gwangju, just to see her on her birthday.

"For pity's sake!" Choon Hee snapped when Hoseok knocked a second time. "Can't they read? The library times are on the darned door!"

"It's someone I know," Hyeonji said. "I'll just go let him in." Choon Hee jumped from her sit "But it's almost..." The sight of Hoseok's handsome-self stopped her in her tracks. "Mmm, yes by all means let him in," she murmured, primping her glossy black straight hair as Hyeonji hurried out from behind the reception desk across the functional grey carpet. Hyeonji wasn't worried that Hoseok would find Choon Hee attractive. As pretty as she was, she was a married woman. Hoseok believed in keeping his sex life simple.

"One girl at a time," he'd once confided in Hyeonji. "And never anyone else's."

It was surprisingly conservative attitude in this day and age, especially coming from a man who looked like Hoseok, who had women throwing themselves at him all the time. He had a similarly strict attitude to marriage. Only one per lifetime, which was why he'd always say he would not bother with marriage till he was in his thirties and financially secure. He didn't want to make a mistake in finding his partner.

"In the meantime," he joked to her one day, "I'm having a lot of fun auditioning possible future candidates for the position of Mrs. Jung Hoseok." It had always terrified Hyeonji that one of those future candidates might capture Hoseok's love as well as his lust. Fortunately, that hadn't happened, and Hyeonji had taken heart from the failure of his various very beautiful girlfriends to last more than a few months. But his latest was a bit of a worry. A statuesque brunette who went by the name Tinashe, she'd already lasted six months –a record for Hoseok. He'd even brought her home with him for Christmas break, during which time Hyeonji had many opportunities to see Tinashe's assets. What she could do for a bikini was incomparable.

But I'm not going to think about Tinashe right now, Hyeonji told herself as she turned the key and swept the open door. Today is my birthday and my very best friend has come to celebrate it with me. "Hoseok!" she exclaimed, smiling up into his dancing brown eyes. "Hi there, Hyeonji. Sorry to interrupt. I know you're working but I simply had to show you my new car. Picked it up this morning at one of those dealerships just the other side of town and couldn't resist taking it for a spin. Before I knew it I was on the express way headed here. I thought what the hell Hoseok? You haven't had a day off in ages. Drive up to Gwangju and visit your Mom."

He smiled a sheepish smile, showing perfect teeth and a charming dimple. "It wasn't till I pulled up into the driveway that I remembered today is her golf day. Took all the wind out of my sails, I can tell you. But no way was I going back to Seoul without showing someone. Naturally, I thought of you. So...what do you think?" and he waved in the direction of the car. "It's one of the new Mazda Eunos 800s. The Miller Cycle version. Great red, isn't it?" he finished.

Every drop of joy drained out of Hyeonji. Hoseok hadn't come for her birthday. He'd come to show her a pathetic car. Worse, she hadn't even been his first choice of viewer. She'd run a very poor second. As usual. Something hard curled around her heart, setting in concrete and trapping her love for him deep inside. Hyeonji determined it would never see the light of day again. She glanced coldly over at the offending vehicle and shrugged dismissively. "If you've seen one red car Hoseok," she said coolly, "You've seen them all."

There was no doubt he was taken aback by the icy indifference of her tone, for his eyebrows shot up and he stared at her with bewilderment in his beautiful brown eyes. Hyeonji was disgusted with herself for instantly feeling guilty. So much for her first foray into hating Hoseok, but she was determined not to weaken this time. Enough was enough.

"You know me Hoseok," she went on brusquely. "I've never been a car person."

"That's because you've never learned to drive, Hyeonji. You'd appreciate cars more if you were ever behind the wheel. Come on. Come for a short spin with me." He actually took her arm and began propelling her across the pavement. "Hobi!" she protested, wrenching her arm away from his hold and planting her sensible shoes firmly on the pavement. "I can't. I'm at work."

"But surely the library's not even open," he argued. "Certainly they won't miss you for a couple of minutes?"

"That's beside the point," she said sternly. "You might be your own boss, Hoseok, and come and go as you please, but most people can't, me included. Besides, it's almost morning tea and I have to be here for that." The rest of the staff had all chipped in to buy her a cake. It was a tradition in the library whenever one of them had a birthday. No way was she going to run out on her real friends to indulge Hobi's ego.

"I don't see why," he said stubbornly.

No you wouldn't...

Hyeonji thought mutinously, and toyed with telling him, just so he could feel terrible for a full ten seconds. The decision was taken out of her hand when Choon Hee popped her head out the door. "Come on birthday girl. Namjoon and the new girlfriend Han Byeol brought your cake along and all twenty-three candles are alight and waiting. So get in here and do the honors. You can bring your hunk of a friend, if you like," she added, looking Hoseok up and down with saucily admiring eyes.

"We've got more than enough cake for an extra mouth" Hyeonji relished Hoseok's groan. To give him some credit he did look suitably apologetic once Choon Hee appeared. "God, Hyeonji, I had no idea it was your birthday. There I was, blabbering away about my new car, and all the time you must be thinking how damned selfish I was being." Frankly, she was enjoying his guilt. It had a deliciously soothing effect on her damaged pride. "That's all right Hobi. I'm used to your not remembering my birthday." He winced anew. "Don't make me feel any more rotten that I already do." Hyeonji almost gave in. it was awfully hard to stay mad at Hoseok. He didn't mean to be selfish. He was, unfortunately, the product of a doting mother and far too many God given talents. Brains and beauty did not make for a modest, self-effacing kind of guy.

Hoseok could be generous and charming when he set his mind to it, but in the main he was a self-absorbed individual who rarely saw beyond end of his own classically shaped nose. God know why I love him so much, Hyeonji though irritably. But then her eyes travelled slowly from his perfect face down over his perfect body, and every female cell she owned clamored to be noticed back.

But the only expression in his eyes when he looked down at her was remorse. When he forcibly linked arms with her, she glared her frustration up to him. "Don't be mad at me, Hyeonji" he said with disarming softness. "I'm not mad at you," she returned stiffly.

"Oh, yes, you are. And you have every right to be. But I'll make it you to you tonight, if you'll let me" says the man who is desperately clinging to your arms. "Tonight?" she echoed far too weakly. "Yes, tonight," he said firmly. "But for now I think your colleagues are waiting for you to blow out those twenty-three candles."

With typical Hoseok confidence he steered her into the library and proceeded to charm everyone in the place. It annoyed Hyeonji that he gave her openly curious workmates the impression that he was a boyfriend of sorts. He even extracted her promise in Choon Hee's goggle-eyed presence to go out with him later that evening. She initially refused dinner, no way was she going to disappoint her mother, but grudgingly agreed to after-dinner coffee somewhere.

Hyeonji told herself afterwards that she would never have agreed to go out with him at all if she'd been alone with him. She would have sent him on his way with a flea in his ear. She didn't need his pity, or guilt. The moment his new red Mazda roared of up the road back in the direction of Seoul, Choon Hee and Han Byeol settled their dryly knowing eyes on her.

"Well you're a dark horse, Hyeonji, aren't you?" Choon Hee said as they walked together back into the library. "I've always thought of you as a quiet little thing and all this time you had something like that on the side." Han Byeol giggled along with Choon Hee. Hyeonji silently cursed Hoseok. All he ever caused her was trouble and heartache. "Hoseok's mother lives next door," she explained with more calm than she was feeling. "I've known Hobi for years. We're just good friends."

"Oh sure. He drove all the way up from Seoul to wish you a happy birthday because you're just good friends. You know what? I'll bet you're one of those girls who go home from the office at night, and perform one of those ten-second transformations." Choon Hee laughed while Han Byeol agreeing to every word she said. "You know the type. Off come the glasses and the straight laced clothes. Down comes the hair. On goes the sexy gear, make-up, and perfume, and –WHAM! Instant meat in heat!"

Hyeonji had to laugh. It would take more than seconds to transform her. "You can laugh," Han Byeol scoffed. "But I'm no one's fool. And you're far prettier than you pretend to be. I always did wonder why you never seemed to be on the lookout for a fella. I was beginning to think all sorts of things till glamour boy arrived on the scene today. He gave me a case of instant heat, I can tell you. And I saw the way you looked at him when you didn't think anyone was noticing. You've got it bad. I know the signs. So why haven't I heard of this paragon perfection before? Why all the mystery and secrecy? Is he married? A womanizer? A bad boy? Look, you can trust me with your deep dark secrets" she whispered. "I won't tell anyone."

Hyeonji laughed a second time. "There's nothing deep or dark to tell. I repeat... we're just good friends. As I said before Hobi used to live next door. We went to school together, though not in the same class. He was two years ahead of me."

"Well, there's nothing remotely boy-next-door about him anymore" came Choon Hee's dry remark. "He has city written all over him. Not to mention success." Hyeonji and Han Byeol nodded to this "I am well aware of that, believe me. I'm not blind, but there's never been any romance between us, and there never will be. He has a steady girlfriend. Goes by the name of Tinashe."

"Tinashe," Choon Hee repeated, her nose wrinkling. "Don't tell me. She's stunning with boobs to die for, hair down to her waist and legs up to her armpits?" Hyeonji startled. "You know her?"

"Nope. Just guessed. Men like your Hoseok always seem to have girls like that on their arm" Choon Hee smirks. "He isn't my Hoseok" Hyeonji said tightly. "But you like him to be, don't you?" Han Byeol added.

Hyeonji opened her mouth to deny it. But her tongue betrayed her when a thickness claimed it. Tears pricked at her back of her eyes.

Her Hoseok...

What a concept. What an improbable, impossible, inconceivable, unachievable concept. To keep clinging to it was not only demeaning to her personally but depressing in the extreme. "There was a time when I did" she said at last, her tone clipped and cold. "But not anymore. I have better things to do with my life than pine for the impossible."

"Impossible? Why do you say impossible?" as Han Byeol curiously asked. "For pity's sake Han Byeol, you've seen him and you too Choon. You guys said so yourself men like Hoseok go for girls like Tinashe, not mousy little things like me."

"You'd be far from mousy if you made the best of yourself. To be frank, Hyeonji, a little make-up wouldn't go astray. And an occasional visit to the hairdresser." Hyeonji stiffened, despite the criticism striking home. "I wouldn't want a man who didn't love me for myself" CHoon Hee said sharply. "That's rubbish and you know it! I'm a married lady and I still have to work hard to keep my man. Now you listen to me, Hyeonji and you too Han Byeol for your sake and Namjoon's." Choon Hee turns to face Hyeonji "Now, when Hoseok comes to take you out tonight. Surprise him."

"Surprise him?" Hyeonji asked dryly feeling nervous about Choon Hee's suggestion. "Yes, leave your hair down. Slap some make-up on." Han Byeol added "Use a sexy perfume. Wear something which shows off that great little figure of yours." Choon Hee nodded in approval.

For a split second, Hyeonji was buoyed up by Choon Hee and Han Byeol's compliments on her figure. But then she thought of Tinashe's tall, voluptuous, sex-bomb body and her momentary high was totally deflated.

"I don't have any sexy perfume," she murmured dispiritedly. She didn't own much make-up either. But she wasn't about to admit that. Choon Hee gave her an exasperated glare. "Then buy some at the mall during your lunch hour!" Their library was in a small regional center which boasted a few shops, a well-stocked chemist shop included. Hyeonji declined telling CHoon Hee and Han Byeol that she only had five dollars in her purse. Sexy perfume was expensive, and she'd rather wear nothing than douse herself in a cheap scent.

Hyeonji actually contemplating asking her friends to lend her some money and reality returned with a rush. She could wear more make-up than a Japanese geisha and drown herself in the most exotic expensive perfume in the world and it would not make Hoseok fall in love with her. "Thank you for your advice ladies," she said with a return to common sense "but I really rather just be myself. Now I'd better get back to these books." Hyeonji resumed checking in the returns, blocking her mind to everything but the thought that at least she would not starve to death tonight after her mother's special birthday meal. Hoseok could buy her something delicious and creamy to go with her after-dinner coffee.

Hyeonji gave no more thought to the girl's advice about make-up and perfume, till she arrived home late that afternoon and opened her carryall to find a paper parcel sitting on top of her house keys. It contained a small but expensive-looking bottle of perfume.

And a note. "Happy birthday darling!" Choon Hee and Han Byeol had written with their usual extravagant hand writing. "This always worked for me. Well, sometimes. Still, what have you got to lose? Go for it! We chipped in so don't worry about it. We love you. Go get your man!"

Hyeonji sprayed a tiny burst of perfume onto her wrist and lifted it to her nose. It was a wonderfully sensual smell, its heavy musk perfume bringing images of satin sheets and naked bodies and untold unknown delights. Hyeonji shook her head. To wear such a scent in Hoseok's presence would be the ultimate torture, and let's face it, Hyeonji told herself, wearing perfume, no matter how sensual, isn't about to turn Hoseok into some kind of sex-crazed lunatic. With a girl like Tinashe in tow, no doubt he has all the sex he can handle. Hyeonji glanced at the perfume's name and laughed.

SEDUCTRESS

Good Lord. It would've been a powerful potion to turn her into that. It was a nice thought of Choon Hee and Han Byeol's, but a total waste of time and money. So was her advice. For Hyeonji she believed she did have something to lose. Her self-respect, and possibly Hoseok's friendship.

Chapter 03

Masterlist