#I regret everything I said about Emile over the course of the year

[xyztrio721]

I read Chuggaaconroy’s statement today.

It’s a lot to process, to say the least, but… I think the best way to summarize it is that Emile did indeed fuck up. Multiple times in fact. But it seems like he was kind of a victim in his own right at places.

I don’t know if I’m going to resubscribe to him for the time being, nor do I know if I’ll add TheRunawayGuys back to my fandom list. All I will say that I feel bad for everyone mentioned in the document, as well as Emile himself. Everyone suffered in their own way, and I hope they can all heal and move on.

[hetalia-nordic-trash]

The Heart Gambit (Dennor): 2-The Arbiter

Word Count: 1,566

Summary: Mathias and Emil meet the day after the party for drinks but things take a surprising turn when Emil has to leave suddenly.

Author's Note: Yay next chapter! Sorry it's a little late! I had a great time writing it so I hope you enjoy it and do leave me some feedback so I can keep getting better!

Previous: 1-Where I want to Be

---

Mathias took a swig of his drink. The bar was mostly quiet except for some old men having a conversation in the corner, occasionally punching through the quiet with bouts of hearty laughter. He anticipated the noise would pick up as the night went on and hoped his drink would loosen his nerves.

His plan was to persuade Emil to introduce him to Lukas, but Mathias was having doubts. He'd spent the last night tossing and turn in his hotel room. Should I say I'm sorry for saying he doesn't have a life? Would he believe me? Why do I care what he thinks? Mathias wasn't really sure why he wanted to talk to Lukas so badly.

He thought back to the conversation he had with Alfred last night. All Mathias has to do was shake hands and be relatively polite; win them over with 'charm'. He'd done it a million times before. He remembered how much fun it was at the beginning of his career. He liked seeing people smile and laugh when he was loud or made a snarky comment. No one has seen a Chess player like that before. Breaking the stereotype worked in his favor for a long time, but the more Mathias thought about how he felt about keeping up this facade, the more the same thought came to his mind: I'm tired. This wasn't the first time he had this thought. It started maybe a year ago, and to say it scared him was an understatement. He couldn't fathom losing everything he worked for at the time. He relished the fame and loved his lifestyle. But these days, he had half a mind to be a no-show at the match and run away to a small village nearby and spend the rest of his days breathing in the fresh air, soaking in the sunlight.

Mathias quickly zoned back in as he heard the door open. Emil stepped through, looking much different from the night before. Rather than the suit and tie from last night, he was wearing a striped button-down shirt and brown jacket that looked as if it had been hastily thrown on. Emil looked over at him. He stared for a moment before recognizing Mathias and walking over.

He didn't blame him for not recognizing him. When he's not as some stuffy get-together, Mathais wore his hair much wilder and popped the collars of his shirts. Mathias also wouldn't be surprised if he looked like he went through a tornado considering how tired he was when he got dressed. At this point, it wouldn't phase him to learn he was wearing two left shoes or one black and one brown.

Emil made his way over to Mathias's table and sat across from him. Emil looked a little stiff and his gaze was fixed on the table. He chuckled a bit.

"You know, part of me did think you'd show up," he said with a half-smile.

Mathias beamed.

"Of course! I wanted to finish our conversation from last night! Talking about your brother is way more fun than a stuffy party! To be fair, it's also way more fun when you're not AT the stuffy party!" he laughed. "'Though, I'm kinda curious. What about you, huh?

Emil was taken aback a bit. Just last night, Mathias was mostly well-behaved with a bit of an ego. Now he's asking about him? Everything Lukas told him made it seem like Mathias would be the kind of guy to spend half the time talking about how great he is and the other half talking sponsorship and bulldozing rainforests.

"Well, there's not much to talk about." He shifted a bit in his seat. "It's just been me and Lukas for a long time. When he picked up Chess and started getting serious, I joined him. I never really liked competing, though. So I ended up becoming his second. Now my job is to make sure he actually eats food instead of just reading. The rest is history."

Mathias took a swig from his drink.

"So why stick around, huh? If you don't like the whole competition scene then...well I guess I'm asking what you'd be doing if you weren't doing chess?" he implored with a childlike smile.

Emil scratched at his palm.

"I... well... I've always wanted to go back to school. It's not like I'm that old or anything! I used to wanted to go to school for geology or something like that," Emil said, his face lighting up. "I've always like volcanoes and things like that!"

Mathias gave a bit smile.

"That's so cool! You should tell me what lava feels like when you get to touch it!" he exclaimed.

Emil raised an eyebrow.

"I don't think... never mind. So what about you, huh? Got any plans for after the match?" Emil asked, stealing glances at his watch.

Mathias paused for a moment. He couldn't exactly say he hadn't thought about it before. Of course he has. But no matter how much he thought about it, he couldn't think of somewhere he wanted to be. He couldn't see himself as any conventional job like a lawyer, teacher, and certainly not an office worker. If he was honest with himself, he didn't really fit any job in particular. He didn't have a higher purpose anymore. Chess became his life, his life became chess, and he was scared of who he would be without it. He lost so much to Chess, but he most regretted the time he lost, the life he wouldn't get back. Maybe that's what he would do. Spend the rest of his life making up for all the time he lost at uncomfortable parties, being purposely arrogant and hurtful, and for every game he played after he realized it didn't make him happy anymore.

Mathias managed a small smile.

"Oh you know!" he said, trying to sound cheery. "I think I wanna take a break for a while! No more stuffy lame parties for a long time! I'll get a house somewhere nice and just have a good time!"

Emil opened his mouth to respond, but his watch began beeping. He jumped up from his seat and stopped his watch.

"Sorry! I have to...um...go...I'll be right back!" he said, practically bolting out.

Mathias barely had time to process what happened before the door opened and a familiar figure walked through. Emil was right, he did come right back. Only something was different. Mathias got a second look and felt himself stiffen up.

"No way," he whispered under his breath.

Lukas was scanning the room with furrowed brows. He carefully made his way through the now more crowded bar, looking at every patron as if he lost something. Mathias found him jumping up from his seat and weaving his way through the tables and chairs towards Lukas. In all honesty, he had no idea what he was doing or what he was going to say to him once he got there. He just knew he had to meet Lukas.

Ok, I'll open with an apology! Yeah! 'Sorry for being an ass during the interview!'. Then maybe I can ask him to get a drink or something or-

Mathias felt something bump against his chest that caused him to take a step back. He snapped back to reality and noticed someone sprawled on the floor in front of him.

"Woah are you ok!? My bad! I totally didn't see you there!" he cried out, a bit too loudly.

Mathias stuck out his hand. The person on the floor sat up a bit, rubbing their arm.

"Sorry...I'm just looking for my brother..." the person replied quietly.

They reached out and grabbed Mathias's hand, finally making eye contact. And at that moment, Mathias knew it was all over. Lukas's hand was so soft and warm in his own, he couldn't imagine ever letting go of it. The feeling of his hands sent electricity through his veins. Falling to the ground made his hair a little messy, strands of blonde hair covering his face, and he was partially tangled up in a long white scarf. But what made Mathias know he was done for was Lukas's eyes. Like Emil, they were so blue they seemed violet, but Lukas's were different. They always seemed so cold in the pictures Mathias has seen of him. Those weren't the eyes he met. Mathias saw soft eyes, like a child's. There was concern in them, maybe even a little embarrassment. Lukas's eyes managed to see right through Mathias straight into his soul. He felt his heart flutter for a moment and a warmth spread to his cheeks. And with that, his whole world turned upside down.

Lukas had already begun pulling himself up when he finally recognized the man attached to the hand.

"Thank y- WAIT A MINUTE YOU'RE-"

Lukas's grip on Mathias's hand slipped and he found he found himself crashing back onto the floor with another loud thud. All Mathias could manage to do was stare for a moment before forcing himself to offer his hand again, praying Lukas would take it.

"Hi...I'm...um...I'm Mathias...nice to meet you..." was the only thing he could get to come out, feeling the least confident he'd ever felt in his life.

Lukas hesitated for a moment before taking Mathias's hand.

--- Next Chapter: 3-Coming Soon!

a/n: I'm so excited to be writing this! Things are definitely gonna start getting more interesting in the next chapter!  I’m going to take this time to plug my non-hetalia work “ Intro to Love ” about a college student who struggles to keep her superpowers a secret and while making new friends.  How much of her normal life will she give up to save her friends from a mysterious villain that drains students’ brains and turns them into zombies? The complete Chapter 1 is out NOW! And Chapter 2.1-'The last of the Good Days' will be out in the next couple of days!

Thanks again for reading! Send some feedback my way! Can’t wait to continue this story!

Quotev link: here

[the-enby-doughnut]

Of Secrets And Soulmates

Chapter 4 Part 2: we get to see Vee and Patt now!!

TW: Panic Attacks, Crying, Concern For Romans well being, all in all just angst with a tiny amount of comfort these - ___- indicate writing in this chapter

Logans POV: As soon as Roman conked out Logan sat down heavily in the chair next to him. “This is all my fault Em, My fault. can I- oh fuck Im going to regret this- can I have a pen?”

“It's not your fault Lo; you don’t control Ari sweetie,” Emile said, handing him a sharpie and kissing his forehead.

“I’m going to go find Remy; we’ll need to distract your parents for a bit.”

“Yeah, yeah o-ok,” Logan responded shakily. The first letters he tried to write (I’m) came out smudged and shaky and quite unreadable, he still got a response though. -Hi 4, call us? Your hands seem too shaky to write anything…- was scrawled messily in purple before light blue wrote back - ***-***-****, ***-***-**** <3- He grabbed his phone and stepped into the hall, then dialed while sinking back against the wall. After 1 ring he saw a guy with bright purple bangs show up on screen, and after 2 a cute guy with blonde curly hair and glasses appeared.

“I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, I didn’t-” he choked out before Purple interrupted.

“Name 5 things you see.”

“Door, y-you, the- the wall, my hands, a-and um Blue?”

“Good, 4 things that you can touch, they don’t necessarily need to be touching you.”

“Wa-wall, clothes, door, phone?”

“Now 3 things you can hear.”

“You, my heartbeat, Ro-Roman snoring.”

“Ok 2 things you can smell?”

“Lavender and must….”

“Great one thing you can taste?”

“Citrus I think?”

“Feel better?” Blue asked softly.

“Yeah, how did you guys know that?”

“I have an anxiety disorder, I know these things,” Purple replied.

“Oh… I’m still- I’m still sorry.”

“What for kiddo?”

“I- Roman got- roman got really really fucking hurt and its all- its all my fault…” Blue stared at him.

“Did you decide to hurt him?”

“NO, hell no I- someone I’m acquainted with used him- used him to get to- to get to me and-”

“It’s not your fault 4”

“Yes it is- Roman could’ve died and it would have been my fault.” Purple stared.

“Roman Could’ve DIED!?!?”

“Yes…. I- I can’t explain over the phone,” Logan sighed.

“Could I- could I pick you up? I- I just really think that you deserve to know- to know everything and I can’t explain on here and-”

“4 hun your spiraling”

“Oh, huh, but um I would really like to pick you up, with your consent of course?”

“How?” Purple asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I have… connections.”

“Fine.”

“Ok!”

He watched two addresses and states get sprawled across his arm and hung up the call.

He went to Blue’s first, and he carefully knocked on the door. He heard shuffling and the door was opened. “Hi…” Logan said softly, his entire body shaking and on the verge of collapse.

“Hey, Look at me ok?” Logan looked towards Blue, who was way shorter than him. “D’you want a hug Lo?”

Logan recoiled, “I never told you my name, Blue.”

“Oops? Lo, Roman figured out you were our last soulmate the day you met…. He saw the patch covering the heart I drew and you hesitated so he just figured it out. Oh and my name’s Patton!”

“Why- why didn’t he tell me?”

“He didn’t want you to leave; you have to have had your reasons not to talk to us, and he wanted to respect that.”

“Oh….”

“Honey come here, I think you need a hug.”

Logan all but collapsed into Patton's arms. Patton held Logan murmuring reassurances, and once Logan could stand properly again he insisted they go get Purple.

The Faery Circle confused Patton, but they kept on walking to Purple’s house. Purple opened the door before they knocked and said, “You’re not human are you Logan?” Logan looked down and shook his head no.

“What are you then?” Patton questioned.

“I’m a fae… i’m sorry…”

“Can you stop apologizing for existing Logan?” Purple mused.

“I’m not- I can’t not apologize, I have to be good, I can’t do bad.”

“Why?” Patton asked.

“I just- agh I have to be perfect,” Logan groaned.

“Lo you’re a person, it's pretty much impossible to be perfect. We’ll sure as hell like you anyways, Roman definitely does,” Purple said

“You don’t understand.”

“Then explain.”

Logan just shook his head and sighed, grabbing Patton and Purple's hands.“I’m not supposed to even be talking to you. Understand that as much as I want to tell you, I can’t. I’m doing this for Roman because I don’t deserve your trust or help but he does, so let’s go.”

“Logan, that’s insane. You deserve our trust, and I’m not going to say I understand why you think that you don’t or why you didn’t talk to us, but we care,” Patton said, squeezing his hand.

“I have to agree with Pat here Lo. You deserve our trust because you’re not a bad person. Clearly, you care. We’re going to be here, even if you- if you leave again, we’ll still be here for you,” Purple said, tilting Logan’s face to look at him.

“Virgil’s right; we won’t abandon you, and we’re not going anywhere – well, except wherever you’re taking us,” Patton said, laughing. Logan quickly filed away that Purple's name was Virgil. They walked faster with Virgil there, which Logan was quite grateful for. As soon as they got through the faery circle Virgil started questioning things.

“You live in a castle Logan?! Also, I don’t care if you drop that illusion of humanity.”

“Yes, I live in a castle, and I kept the illusion up for your comfort, so as long as Patton has no qualms with me dropping the illusion, I’ll happily do so,” Logan stated simply.

“I’m fine with that Lo-Lo!” Logan let the illusion shimmer away from him, and he heard two identical gasps.

Virgil’s POV: When his hidden soulmate contacted, Virgil was immediately concerned, and then he said Roman was hurt. Like really badly hurt – bad enough that he wanted to pick them up. This soulmate also seemed to have a shit ton of confidence and trust issues. Virgil agreed to Logan coming of course, but he was still apprehensive about giving his address.

When Logan got there with Patton, the first thing he noticed was how hard Logan was shaking. He also noticed that Lo should not have gotten there so fast.

What he managed to figure out was that Logan was not human, he was a fae, and he thought he had to be perfect. Virgil disagreed, perfection was a societal concept rich people made so they could look down on everybody, especially different races and religions. Logan thought that he and Pat hated him which was drastically wrong; they had missed him for years but never hated him.

He managed to get them moving, and when they shimmered into existence in Logan’s world they were greeted with a castle – a fucking castle. When Logan dropped the stupid illusion though, he was surprised.

@emy-loves-you, @vann-cat , @icantthinkofacreativeurl , @psychedelicships, @remus-sanders-is-the-bestest , @vixdoesbadart, @little-chaos-bitch , @chowa-san @denkisimp47

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Fifty One

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

December 27th, 1987

Toby was standing with his back to Remy, chin jut out in challenge at their mother. Remy was watching with wide-eyed terror. Their mother’s eyes flashed dangerously as she said, “Tobias, get out of the way.”

“No!” Toby repeated, arms spread to shield Remy as best he could. “Remy’s just a kid, Mom, he didn’t know! No one told him not to touch Grandmother’s photos, and he just wanted to see what they were! He wasn’t invading her privacy on purpose!”

Remy just stood there in silence, not able to speak a word in his defense, or even an insistence that Toby not get hurt on his account. Instead, he watched this silent standstill, waiting to see who would win.

Their mother turned, leaving in a huff, and Toby immediately turned to Remy, hugging him tight. “Are you okay?” Toby asked.

Remy nodded, even as he started to shake and cry. “Mom’s scary,” he whispered.

“I know,” Toby soothed. “I know she gets scary. But I’m not letting her hurt you for something that wasn’t your fault.”

“No, Toby,” Remy said. “She’s scary all the time.”

Toby sighed. “I wish I could stop her,” he admittedly softly. “Maybe one day...”

  December 24th, 2001

Emile and Remy walked into Emile’s grandfather’s house, and Emile whistled. “Anybody home?!” he called with a grin on his face.

“You’re such a dork,” Remy whispered to him.

“You know it!” Emile said with a wink.

Before Remy could escalate the discussion further than that, however, there was the sound of squealing and soon a considerable amount of tiny children were swarming Emile. He laughed and hugged each of them, naming them all without even a second to pause. “How do you do that?” Remy asked after greeting them all.

Emile looked him dead in the eye before simply saying, “Very carefully.”

The kids turned from Emile to look at Remy, and they grew quiet. “Who’s he?” one of the older girls asked.

“This is my friend Remy,” Emile said. “He doesn’t have any family to celebrate Christmas with, so I invited him to celebrate Christmas with us.”

“Does he know about early morning Mass?” the girl asked.

“Uh, he does, but I’ve talked about it with my parents and Grandpa, and they agreed that he doesn’t have to go if he’s not comfortable with it,” Emile said.

“Lucky!” the girl groaned. “I don’t like waking up early for Mass.”

Remy scratched the back of his neck. “I mean, the only reason I get out of going is...well, I’ve never been to a Mass before. Like, I’ve been to a wedding or two, but never an actual Mass. I wasn’t raised Catholic.”

“Yeah, and I still have to go,” Emile said. “Especially since it’s been a while since I last went to Confessional.”

Remy glanced at Emile. “Sorry I couldn’t get you out of the early morning service,” he said. “I did try.”

“I know you did,” Emile laughed. “But I wouldn’t want to go to the afternoon one if it weren’t with my family, and too many of our family members are visiting family friends in the afternoon for us to all go then.”

Remy shrugged. “Fair enough. Now, are the gremlins going to let us further in the house or is there a ritual we have to go through first?”

Emile laughed. “No ritual, just be careful not to step on their toes, because they will be following us around for a bit.”

The fact that there wasn’t even a single protest to that statement spoke volumes. Emile and Remy walked further in, Remy stopping off at the kitchen to drop off the pie he and Emile had made earlier. When he followed Emile into what he assumed was the living room, everyone there who saw Emile greeted him warmly. When they looked past him to Remy, Remy offered a weak wave. “Uh, hi everybody,” he said.

There was a brief second of silence before he got the same round of greetings, people coming up and shaking his hand, explaining whether they were Emile’s aunt, or uncle, or second cousin, or what-have-you. After enough of these greetings to make Remy’s head spin, he heard a familiar voice call his name. He turned to see Emile’s mom approaching him and he hugged her with a smile. “Nice to see you again, Misses Thomas.”

“You too, sweetheart,” she said. “How’s everything at home with Emile? He’s being a good roommate? I can talk to him if he’s not behaving.”

Emile made an offended noise next to Remy as Remy laughed. “He’s been great, Misses Thomas. We both have been. It’s nice to be able to visit people over Christmas, though, even if it isn’t strictly my family.”

“Not yet, at any rate,” Emile said under his breath and Remy whacked him lightly in the arm. “Well, my parents are dead set on having you as a son one way or another, Rem, I’m just saying the truth.”

“True, but you don’t don’t have to announce it to the whole room,” Remy said with hushed urgency in his tone.

“Remy, relax, it’s okay,” Emile said. “No need to be nervous around my family. They’ve heard nothing but good things about you.”

Remy took a shaky breath. “Okay,” he said.

As everyone turned back to the conversations they were already having, Emile’s younger cousins were proceeding to run around the room, doing anything from playing with blocks to reading. Emile and Remy grabbed seats on the couch and Remy had to resist the urge to move closer, or to grab Emile’s hand. He could really use some comfort right about now, but he knew that if he got the kind of comfort he wanted, Emile could get in trouble. And Remy didn’t want that.

Emile looked at Remy and offered him a small smile. “My grandfather is probably making his way around the room and we just can’t see him yet. He’s a quiet sort of man. Apparently my great-grandmother always threatened to put a bell around his neck like a cat.”

Remy snickered. “Oh, wow, that’s something,” he said. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard that used as a threat before.”

“It became kinda common around this family,” Emile said. “My grandfather picked it up from my great-grandmother, and everyone found it hilarious as kids, and now that they’re grown-ups they use it on their own kids, and it’s just...kinda dripped down through the generations.”

“Huh,” Remy said. “That’s kinda cool.”

Emile laughed. “I don’t know how many times my aunts and uncles would threaten me with that when I was younger. But I was either the loudest child alive or no one heard me at all. Throughout DnD freshman year all my friends would bring it up and say I always rolled either a crit one or a nat twenty when it came to stealth.”

“I’m sure that would be funnier if I knew what it meant,” Remy said.

“Probably,” Emile agreed.

Before their discussion went any further, though, Remy spotted Emile’s grandfather walking over. “It’s so nice to see you boys again!” he said, shaking Remy’s hand and giving Emile a hug. “How was the rest of your semester, Emile?”

“A little stressful, but nothing that I couldn’t handle,” Emile brushed off.

His grandfather smiled and nodded at him, clearly pleased. He turned to Remy. “And how have you been, son?”

“Pretty good, sir,” Remy said. “I do miss some of my family over the holidays, but I’m really glad that I get to be here with you and the rest of Emile’s family.”

Emile’s grandfather smiled. “It is very considerate of him to bring you here. I don’t know many people who would do that for even their best friends.”

Remy glanced at Emile and said, “Yeah, Emile is certainly a special case.”

Emile laughed and shrugged. “What can I say, Rem? Guilty as charged!”

Remy snickered. Emile’s grandfather looked between them. “You two are very close. You’re very fortunate to have such a strong friendship. I’m sure it can get you through anything.”

“We’ve had our disagreements, sir,” Remy said. “But I think they always give us a better understanding of each other in the end.”

Emile’s grandfather nodded. “Many friendships and relationships are strengthened by communication. Unfortunately, not many people are always willing to communicate.”

Emile cleared his throat and nodded. “I wish I could say I always said what I felt, but I do bottle it up at times.”

“But you’re working to overcome that,” Remy pointed out. “And I say what I feel almost too much; I’m too blunt. But you’ve helped me learn how to be tactful. We compliment each other well.”

Emile’s grandfather nodded at them both approvingly. “Well, then. Are either of you willing to help bring dinner to the table?”

Remy nodded as Emile said, “Yeah, of course!” and they got up and went to the kitchen, grabbing the plates and bowls where most of the food was held and bringing it to the dining room. When they went back into the kitchen, Remy felt his chest tighten without warning. He let out a shaky breath and blinked back tears. He missed Toby.

Emile looked over at him and murmured, “You okay?”

Remy nodded. “I can explain after dinner, sound good?”

“Yeah,” Emile said, although Remy could see the reluctance in Emile’s eyes.

Remy helped put out the rest of the food alongside Emile, and then they took their seats at the table as everyone else made their way over. Emile’s grandfather sat at the head of the table once everyone else was seated, he said grace, and everyone began to eat.

“Cousin Emile?” one of the younger girls asked, “Why do you get to bring a friend to Christmas dinner? Doesn’t he have his own family to have Christmas with?”

Remy tried to ignore the pang in his chest at that as his hand tightened around his fork.

Emile grimaced. “Actually, uh, Grace...he doesn’t have any family to go home to. I brought him here so that he didn’t have to be alone on Christmas.”

“Oh,” Grace said, growing quiet. Then, “Why doesn’t he have family? Doesn’t everyone have family?”

“Grace!” Emile cringed and turned to Remy, murmuring, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Remy said, swallowing the lump in his throat. “Kids are curious, I get it.”

Grace, not getting an answer, turned to Remy. “Why don’t you have a family?”

Remy took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. He didn’t regret coming to dinner with Emile, but he wished that maybe the kids had their own table to sit at. “I used to have a family,” Remy said. “But they...uh...they weren’t very nice. So I don’t go to visit them anymore.”

“How weren’t they nice?” Grace asked, ignoring a woman who Remy assumed was her mother telling her to stop.

Remy shrugged. “You know how in like...fairytales and some cartoons and stuff, they have evil stepmothers or dads who don’t care about their kids or mean siblings?”

Grace nodded.

“Well, my mother acted like an evil stepmother, my dad didn’t do anything to stop her and if he tried they’d just end up shouting at each other, and my sister tried to help me when she could but a lot of her ‘help’ boiled down to shutting up and never saying anything or doing anything our parents didn’t want me to do. Except it wasn’t just things like not touching the stove or staying outside too long in the winter that they didn’t want me to do. They didn’t want me to play games like chess, they didn’t want me to study business in college, they didn’t want me to drop out of college when it hurt me, and they didn’t want me to be friends with Emile, just to name a few things.” He knew his face was on fire and his tears were starting to fall, but he couldn’t do anything about that right now. “The only one who ever really helped me was my brother, and I...and I don’t know where he lives, now, so I can’t write to him.”

Everyone at the table was silent as Remy stared at his food and took another shaky breath. “It’s okay, though. Because Emile let me come here so I don’t have to be alone and I don’t have to think about how all my family probably doesn’t even miss me.”

“But what about your brother?” Grace asked. “You said he helped you. Wouldn’t he miss you?”

“Grace, stop,” Emile said. “Remy’s family is not something he likes to talk about. He was kind enough to answer your questions, but Remy knows that his brother would miss him. And he misses his brother. But they can’t call or write because neither of them know where the other is, and because Remy’s parents were bad they won’t tell either of them where the other lives. And it’s wrong and it’s bad and yes, his parents aren’t being fair, but if Remy doesn’t want to talk about it then he shouldn’t have to talk about it. He answered your questions as to why he’s here. Let it go.”

Remy turned red but mumbled a small, “Thank you,” to Emile, and as the last of his tears fell, the conversation moved on, making the rest of the dinner uneventful in comparison.

[alchemist-shizun]

Walking the tightrope

Read on Ao3!

Word Count: 6.018

Characters: Janus, Virgil, Roman, Emile, Andy. (Patton, Logan and Remus mentioned once.)

Pairing(s): Platonic Anxceit, past platonic Royality

Warning(s): Angst, shooting mention, abuse, toxic parent, yelling, death, suicide, self-harm implication, scars mention, hospital mention, overdose, major character death, funeral, panic attack mention, breathing difficulty, self-deprecation/self-loathing, crying, swearing

Summary: Janus moves into a new town due to a tragedy and makes friends with Virgil. As he learns to support his new friend, he realizes how much life sucks even in new beginnings. When another tragedy dawns on him, he decides he's going to try to prevent this from happening ever again.

A/N: Guess what? This started out as a vent fic and then turned out to be... whatever the hell that is. Please read the warnings carefully. As much as it sounds like the saddest and angstiest thing you'll ever read, I promise that it somewhat has a happy ending. I also don't know how I managed to write 6k words, don't ask. Hope you can still enjoy!

✾

So long to all of my friends

Every one of them met tragic ends

With every passing day

I'd be lying if I didn't say

That I miss them all tonight

And if they only knew what I would say

« I know how it feels. »

« To be the new one around? »

« To be the odd one out. »

« Mh. Doesn't seem like you like it much here. »

« Oh believe me, » the stranger turned to Janus, the zips of his leather jacket clattering against the wooden table they were sitting on. « I'm going to be the first one to blow this town. »

That got a chuckle out of Janus, which made the stranger extend his arm.

« My name is Virgil and I don't usually come up to people and be all friendly, but you know, outsiders might understand how I feel better than the locals. »

« The longing feeling to just head home already when everyone else is staring at you and pointing fingers? Yeah, I get it. » the boy nodded, smiling in exchange, then he took Virgil's hand. « I'm Janus. »

« Well Janus, » Virgil wanted to laugh at the odd coincidence of roman-rooted names. « Let's have some fun in hell while it lasts. »

« Oh I already went through and came back five times. It'll be a piece of cake. »

They let their water bottles meet like they were clinking two glasses of white wine together, ready to cheer for an important occasion.

Three months into their friendship and neither had surprisingly bailed out.

« Come on, » it was dark outside and they, of all places, were making use of the kids' park's yellow light lamps. « Confession time. » Virgil sat on one of the swings and motioned for Janus to join him.

« Is that some sort of town tradition? »

« Nah, I just never got to play thirty-six questions in my golden teenage years. »

Janus got onto the swing next to Virgil, moving slowly and humming lost in thought.

« What do you want to know? »

« Anything you want to tell that comes to your mind. That's how it works. »

« This thing has rules? » Janus raised an eyebrow and watched as the other giggled to himself.

« No, I just made them up. »

He rolled his eyes, still smiling in amusement and tried to travel around his mind for any notion: as much as they had stuck together for a while, they still didn't know each other to the core.

Virgil shifted in his seat, swinging slightly thanks to his feet moving against the ground.

They started off with simple facts, how one of them had stolen candy as a kid and got away with it, how they had never watched some of the most famous movies, how they had pretty unusual interests.

Then something clicked, like a door opening for a safer, bigger space they could enter.

« I came here because we were forced to run away. » Janus let out after a brief pause.

Virgil turned to him, now all serious and focused. Careful.

« We lived in a very small town and there was a pretty brutal shooting in my neighborhood. » he sighed heavily. « They didn't catch the shooters, there were possibilities of them coming again so we were immediately gotten to safety. At least … at least the ones who survived. »

The other boy bowed his head, unable to imagine how that must have felt, leaving your childhood home without a single notice of whether your other relatives or your friends were alive or not.

« To this day we haven't gotten news from the detectives. » Janus reminisced of when he used to spend entire days with Remus and Logan. They did say they were going to hang out that day but he was too busy with homework …

He didn't want to think about it anymore.

« Your turn. » he dryly said.

Virgil got the hint and looked up at the sky as if in search of an answer; he was more debating whether or not to open up entirely like he did. Was it too early? He surely didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

Yet there was like some sort of force pulling him, pushing him to say whatever came up to his mind instantly.

He decided to play it somewhat safe.

« I have some scars. »

« Oh yeah? Childhood ones? Or surgery- »

Virgil shrugged. « More like … accidents. » that was what they were. Terrible accidents he hated but couldn't help but make real.

Janus snorted, definitely not having understood the implication. « Do you need someone to prevent you from tripping over ladybugs? »

Virgil considered it.

« Actually, yes, yes I do. »

If I could be with you tonight

I would sing you to sleep

Never let them take the light behind your eyes

One day I'll lose this fight

As we fade in the dark

Just remember you will always burn as bright

It was another one of those nights and Janus was growing sick of it.

Couldn't there possibly be a way to sneak his friend out of such a horrible home situation? If only there were laws permitting something like adopting someone your age …

His phone buzzed on the nightstand and he took it immediately, words of emotional despair appeared on his chat with Virgil.

He was just so done with life and Janus could almost feel it through their chat client.

At first it didn't seem too unusual. Virgil would give him snippets of when he fought with his dad, nothing too serious.

But then he noticed the frequency with which they happened, and Virgil started trusting him enough to explain the entire conversations they had; or, better, what his dad yelled at him for either ten minutes to half an hour before he was done and let the poor boy seal himself in his bedroom.

The worst thing was while he would feel like the worst person existing in the entire universe for the entire night, his dad would already feel peaceful ten minutes later.

In the meantime, he also destroyed Virgil's psyche with every fight that happened.

Not that he cared or even realized. He would've probably laughed at that statement.

Janus was just furious.

It had been six months ever since he'd gotten to know Virgil and there was no way someone so wonderful was being treated like trash.

He picked up his phone and put it to his hear, waiting for the other to respond.

Of course, when Virgil greeted him, he could hear his broken voice like tiny pieces of glass that were already broken, being stepped on time and time again, becoming nothing but dust.

« What the hell happened? »

« The usual. » he heard him sniff. « I simply exist, but I do it wrong. »

« Virgil there's not right or wrong way to exist. »

« I know that. It's him that does not. Everytime he comes pissed off from work he just needs to take it out on any of us back home I just can't do it anymore. I was only typing on my computer, didn't even say a word and it led to him insulting me because he saw one book on the ground. »

« This is insane. He is insane and I'm going to get you out of there. »

Janus started pacing around his room.

« Please. In any way you can find, please do it. »

His heart sank at the urgency.

He still had no clue how to help, so he simply sat on his bed.

« How am I supposed to live like this for another probably five years with all the university stress I'm already going to have? »

« Does his yelling make you less motivated in studying? » maybe grounding him, finding exactly how he was affected, could help.

« I get unmotivated at everything. It's as if a depressive episode just hit you all at once while you were having a pretty okay day. I just … » there was a pause on the other side. « I really haven't told this to anyone else because I was always scared of it. »

Janus was immobile. « Go on. »

« Everytime he even just looks at me with a hint of disgust or any general negative connotation I already feel awful. And when he criticizes me to the point of insulting me it's even worse and it's like all of his negativity transformed into self-loathing in me. »

He bit his lip: he really wanted to punch a man.

« Basically, you believe everything he says. »

« In the long run it's impossible not to have all those degrading adjectives marked in your brain. But it doesn't end there. I feel so angry at myself, not because I wasn't smart enough to prevent the fight but because I can't help myself. No matter what I do, it's always going to end bad. »

« And it's not like you can talk back either. »

« Oh no, » he chuckled sadly. « I'd make everything worse. I just say nothing and wait for him to let it all out. And then … then I leave and that's where the scary part comes. »

« You mentioned it earlier … what scares you? » Janus was afraid of the answer.

« Uh, well. You know how I said that I become incredibly self-hating? It's like this ball of anger at the pit of my stomach and it's as if something inside me were telling me to hurt myself to make it stop. »

« Hurt yourself? » he really didn't like where that was going.

« I hate it as much as you do, but it's a thing I don't control. It's this part of me that keeps screaming in my head or I won't be satisfied. So I do it, I … those scars I told you about, I did them. It's the only way I have so far that quiets down my anger instantly. And what scares me is … sometimes I don't even regret it when I truly realize it. »

Janus considered what to say, he didn't want to overreact or scare him even more than how much he already was.

« Okay, I think maybe you don't regret it because you feel better afterwards, right? »

« Possibly. »

« As for it being the only solution you have. You have already considered having a distraction but it didn't work, probably. Is that because you feel like you can't do it by yourself? »

There was some silence on the other side, so he gave Virgil all the time he needed to come to terms with his feelings.

« Alone I'm sure I can't do anything. I mean, look at what kind of conditions I'm in right now. »

Janus sighed. « Then let's do this. Let's talk like this everytime you feel like that. »

« Janus- »

« Give me a code word you can text me and I'll ring you immediately. »

« J, I already did it. Tonight, I did it, I did it before I was able to write to anyone. » his voice felt choked, like he was about to cry again.

« Hey, it's okay. I'm not mad at you. The important thing is you got yourself treated. Breathe. »

After some more words of reassurance, Janus told him to lie down while keeping his phone close.

He sat with his back against the wall instead, an idea in mind.

« You like My chemical romance, don't you? »

« This is not a good time to shame my musical preferences. » he let out a chuckle. « But yes, I do. »

« Okay then, close your eyes. »

« What, is Gerard Way going to appear in my room once I open them again? »

Janus mentally slapped his arm. « Will you just work with me? »

« Alright, eyes closed. »

The boy took a deep breath, before starting to hum a song Virgil immediately recognized.

It surprisingly worked, as he focused only on Janus's voice and the way his singing differed from the original, how it was softer due to the hour, how everything felt better when you didn't think of the world surrounding you.

« Just remember you will always burn as bright. »

Soon enough, Virgil wasn't responding anymore and Janus ended the call, settling into bed as well with one horrible thought.

How long until Virgil couldn't endure that anymore?

Be strong and hold my hand

Time, it comes for us, you'll understand

We'll say goodbye today

And I'm sorry how it ends this way

If you promise not to cry

Then I'll tell you just what I would say

He should've known.

Ever since he heard a knock on the door so late at night he should have known something was wrong.

Virgil appeared on the other side of the door, looking distraught as though there had been a ghost instead of his friend right in front of him.

« I did something bad. » it was like he didn't even believe his own words.

Janus's eyes widened. « What happened? »

And then, for some reason, he seemed to withdraw.

« It's nothing- I just … Can you come out? »

Janus stepped outside, a little weirded out by the sudden request as it was almost midnight.

Talking to his friend didn't seem to be an option; he just kept quiet, he was distressed and wiping away at his silent tears, trying to not make Janus notice as he steadied himself by holding his hand.

If only he'd understood sooner.

Virgil led him to a spot, a little hill nearby the city you could reach by walking about fifteen minutes from their little neighborhood. There was none at that time, just a lonely bench.

Yet the upset boy preferred to sit on the grass.

« Will you tell me what's bothering you? »

« I just don't want to be alone right now. » Virgil responded through the tears.

Janus felt anxiety rising in his chest as he murmured an “okay” and strengthened the grip around the other's hands.

Only a beat of silence before the world came crashing down and the sky fell on their heads.

Virgil launched himself at Janus and hugged him with all the might that was left in his body. He felt arms around him hugging him back, hearing words of concern he didn't want to answer because once he voiced reality it would have become too true and he was too scared to accept it.

Tic, tac, time was running out.

« I took some pills. » he blurted out.

He felt hands on his shoulders pulling him back.

« What? What pills? How many? »

Janus's stare was unbearable, he couldn't look up anymore, it felt too heavy. Too heavy, too much.

« I don't know, » his shaking hands wiped away a tear. « All of them! » he yelled, finally. He gasped for air right after, he thought this was because of his crying, but he sure as hell knew his body was starting to shut down.

« All of them?! » he could feel the tears in Janus's voice as his grip on his shoulders tightened.

Virgil started sobbing again and brought his hands to his face. « Please don't leave. » he murmured.

« I won't. I- » Janus was shaking as well, he had just sent a text for someone to call an ambulance. What else could he do? « How long has it been since you took them? »

Virgil shook his head violently. « Too long- too late. »

« It's never too late. The doctors will arrive soon- »

« Late. It's- They won't. Not in. Time. » he wasn't able to talk properly anymore, he wasn't sure whether it was a panic attack or his respiratory system failing him. « Almost three hours ago. »

« Three … » Janus was shocked.

He was suddenly stiff. Three hours was enough for a person to die of overdose.

« I was scared to go alone … » Virgil admitted through the tears again, not looking up, fear stuck in his throat. « I needed to see you one last time. »

Janus was took over by an uncontrollable need; he took the other's face in his hands and forced him to look at him. « You should've called me. » he retorted, trying to repress the sobs.

« I couldn't. I'm sorry. » Virgil put his hands on the other's arms. He apologized again and over again until Janus told him he didn't have to and he didn't need to be forgiven for anything.

« You're angry. »

« I'm heartbroken, Virgil. You didn't get what you deserved because of the horrible people surrounding you. That's not fair! » his voice rose at the last sentence. Yes, he was actually angry, but not at him. He was many things and felt many things at once and he didn't know how to handle those feelings again.

« I don't want you to go. » he had hugged him instantly, because seeing his face meant it was happening, while looking at the dark meant absolutely nothing.

« It's okay. »

« No, it's not. »

There were sirens in the distance.

None of them said a thing in their embrace for a whole minute, their silence broken only by the occasional sobs.

« Janus- »

He could feel Virgil's heart rate slowing down.

« No. No, no- »

The ambulance was coming, they could make it.

« I love you. »

« I love you too, just don't give up. »

« I think I will … lie down. »

Virgil's head dropped on Janus's shoulder: the other moved so he could rest part of his body on his lap.

« Hey J. When you see my dad again … » Janus lifted an eyebrow, he had been caressing his friend's hair in a state of panic for the past minutes. « Tell him he can go fuck himself. »

Janus let out some laughter that almost came off as hysterical with the state he was in.

« I will. I will, Virgil. I'll punch him for you. » he promised with a broken voice.

Virgil sadly smiled at him before closing his eyes one last time.

« Remember … » he whispered, voice low and cracked. « Take care of yourself. »

One last wish.

And he was gone.

Janus immediately doubled over himself, longing for screaming right then and there, instead he kept quiet, his face buried in a dead body.

Right after, he felt two arms lifting him up, he wouldn't have been able to register whatever had happened until the day after.

Those were the doctors.

They could make it, he had thought, stupidly.

Janus could only perfectly recall one moment of that night, when, at three a.m., as soon as he had gotten into a decent mental state to go back home, he reached what once was Virgil's household, knocking on the door.

And, when Virgil's father answered it, he punched him in the face.

If I could be with you tonight

I would sing you to sleep

Never let them take the light behind your eyes

I'll fail and lose this fight

Never fade in the dark

Just remember you will always burn as bright

Three days.

Three days is all it takes to organize a funeral.

Three days weren't enough for Janus to accept that any of that had been happening.

On the morning right after his death, his mother had commented on how there were news of a student's death and how terrible they were. Then she had looked at her son's shattered expression, his red eyes and marked eye bags.

She had frowned deeply and caught him in a long-lasting hug, understanding.

He didn't remember what happened on the second day apart from him staying in bed for far longer than necessary.

And then there he was.

All dressed up for the occasion on a Saturday morning, ten o'clock in the front rows of a building for a religion Virgil didn't even believe in.

Thankfully his family was on the opposite side of Janus's seating place.

Funerals were those types of events you couldn't miss, but that you couldn't also wait to leave; you promised yourself you wouldn't cry and yet tears would pool in your eyes at any heartfelt confession made, even the most fake ones.

Anything remotely sad is able to break you down where you're on the verge of weeping.

Still, choking back tears was the usual answer.

Janus looked up when Virgil's sister stood and walked in front of the altar, she was holding a letter and a microphone with both of her shaking hands.

She began talking about her brother and their childhood experiences, all the siblings stuff one would expect. Then she mentioned the letter in her hand.

It was a note Virgil had left before meeting with Janus. Something he knew nothing about.

She wanted to read it aloud.

He zoned out for most of it, not registering her voice like he actually didn't want to know. He caught glimpses of memories of his past and present, of the real people who cared, not one mention of his dad was made.

Then he heard his name and suddenly he couldn't focus anywhere else.

« I've only known him for a little less than a year and yet he's been better than anyone I had ever met in my eighteen years of existence. »

Janus put his hands on his face. How dare he leave him like that?

« It's going to hurt. Don't blame yourself. You couldn't prevent this. It was a choice I made alone. I know it sucks and it's selfish, but I wanted a way out. I'm glad I'm getting to spend my last instants with you and that I got to meet you in time. I'll greet you on the other side when time will come. »

She looked up at him and was met with a longing look that hoped she was over and done with that. She gave him a small nod and smile, then went back to read the conclusion.

Janus wanted to laugh, laugh and cry and curse Virgil.

The rest of the ceremony went by and it was now his turn to bid his last farewell.

He knew words were useless when it came to those situations, so instead he gently leaned in and started off humming a familiar melody.

« If I could be with you tonight, I would sing you to sleep. »

He wanted to reach out and shake him, tell him he knew he was pretending to be asleep and it was all a big prank so he could leave his family and run away.

Janus would've gone with him.

The light behind your eyes

Virgil looked like he'd taken the form of a storm cloud.

His skin gray, almost non human. Fully clothed with a suit he would've hated, Janus could hear his usual groan in his memories, which made him sadly laugh.

He looked cold and dead and too real and he hated it.

The light behind your

Janus closed his eyes only for a second.

A second in which that whole night came back to him; he felt Virgil's arms surrounding his chest, tears soaking his shirt, panic rising in his lungs.

He wished he could hold him again, take him away and let him into a safer zone.

Instead Janus's mind took him to the instant he watched as Virgil's eyes darkened, as if you could turn off a star, as if you could turn off the sun with a click.

Sometimes we must grow stronger and

You can't be stronger in the dark

When I'm here, no longer

You must be stronger and

The Monday after, Janus felt himself pushed by an incredibly strong and ardent force.

He had gone to school no problem under the aghast stare of his parents, impatiently waiting for the bell to ring for break time. Perfect, as he dared to admit they were, ideas had started to squirm in his mind ever since the funeral.

As he had gotten out of the church, he remembered meeting Virgil's sister, she had given him a hug, showing him how there was a spot in Virgil's letter she hadn't read in which he asked her to do so.

Right after that, his mother had approached him, knowing how close they were, she had uncomfortably mentioned the school therapist Virgil had wanted to meet, doctor Picani.

Emile Picani walked right past him as Janus had started going on the search for his next class.

« Excuse me, »

The doctor turned around in no time, a calm smile placed on his lips. « May I help you? » he spoke softly.

There was no way he didn't know who he was, given that the news of Virgil's suicide had ran around pretty quickly.

« Yes, I was actually looking for you. I'm Janus Dean, from the senior year, I was hoping I could ask you a favor. » there was a sort of electric buzz in his chest as he watched Emile furrow his eyebrows in interest.

« A favor? Therapy sessions aren't a favor I do for students, sweetie, it's my job. » he explained kindly.

Yeah, he didn't get it.

« That's not what I was looking for. I need another kind of help. » he tried, this time Emile simply nodded, letting him finish so he could understand.

« I know this is not the biggest city but as we've seen it doesn't mean there aren't people who need help, even with the smallest things, especially when they're young and experiencing hard struggles for the first time, »

« What I want to try to do is organize a support group made by youth for youth here in this school. I know Virgil was too afraid to actually come to you and I know there are more kids who would rather express their issues to people their age cause that's what happens everyday with online friends. »

« People understanding each other because they're going through the exact same thing at the same time, thus they can empathize so much better and feel at ease. I'm not trying to downgrade your job, on the contrary I wanted both your help to set this up and … well, I was hoping to be able to host it by myself so I'd need a hand on how I should … behave? » he finally looked up at the doctor, breathless.

Picani was smiling the widest he'd ever seen anyone do.

« Janus you are the most incredible person I have ever met. I would love to help! But at one condition: I'm going to stay with you in the first support meetings, then, when we agree you can handle it on your own, I'll leave you be. »

Janus's face lit up with hope and excitement, he sputtered out multiple thank yous and, afterwards, they set a day to work on their project and contact the school's principal to get the permission they needed.

He started walking towards a class he'd have had in ten minutes when he heard a younger voice call him. Janus turned around and found a boy he'd only noticed once or twice in the halls, he only remembered him heading for theatre club at times while he was leaving for home.

« Sorry, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with doctor Picani. My name is Roman and I just wanted to say that … well, in short I have gone through a similar thing as you are right now, some years ago. » he looked down, reminiscing of his own experience.

Had Janus lived in that city long enough, he would've known of a middle school student's suicide case, Patton Jones.

« I always had this longing feeling to do something about it but I had felt hopeless until now. What I'm trying to say is, if you need help with your idea, I'd be more than happy to assist. »

Janus hoped that Virgil had been watching over him on that day, because that was the first time he felt like the wind was blowing his way.

« Thank you, Roman. You can already come to Picani's studio tomorrow after class if you'd like. » the other boy gave him a nod. « Until then. » they exchanges smiles and parted ways.

His project was going to see the light of day and there was nothing else he would've asked for in the world right then.

If I could be with you tonight

I would sing you to sleep

Never let them take the light behind your eyes

I failed and lost this fight

Never fade in the dark

Just remember you will always burn as bright

It took maybe a month for the support group to finally be successful: at first it was only Janus and Roman, waiting for people to show up and thus chatting along with the school's therapist.

Things started off as awkward until they worked together so well that more and more people were encouraged to show up.

Christmas holidays were drawing near and Janus was nothing but amazed at how far they had come.

He had just said goodbye to his co-host, Roman, and given Emile that session's achievements when he caught someone standing in front of the room's door as soon as he opened it.

« Oh? »

That couldn't be real.

There was a definitely younger boy standing before him, hands in pockets and the same grumpy expression he used to see on Virgil's face. He … he did somehow resemble some of Virgil's traits.

Janus shook that thought off of his head, reminding himself it was probably only because of their similar clothing choice.

When he noticed him, the stranger's eyes widened.

« Can I help you? »

« No, I was just- Well … »

« Did you want to listen? »

The boy probably took that as an attack as he retreated and made himself smaller in his black hoodie.

« It's okay if so, people can come and listen and not say a word if they aren't comfortable with talking. We want it to be a safe space for everyone, without being judged. »

He seemed to consider, standing still. « Okay. I'll see. »

« Well, » the older boy extended his arm. « My name is Janus, pleased to meet you either way. »

He gave him a weak smile. « I'm Andy. »

« Well then Andy, I'll see you around or at next week's meeting? »

Andy nodded and looked down, still hunched over himself; they waved at each other and went home.

It was nothing more than two days later that Janus found Andy sitting at the same wooden table he and Virgil had met.

All those coincidences were making him both dizzy and filled with energy: he reached his new acquaintance and sat with him.

« I know how it feels. » he found himself saying.

Immediately a pair of dark eyes were set on him, a questioning look in them.

« Being the odd one out isn't fun, is it? »

« I guess. I just want to finish high school and leave this town. Living with your parents this much can be unbearable. »

There was some silence, before Janus resumed talking.

« I can perfectly understand. You know, I actually had a similar conversation at this very table one year ago. »

Andy seemed to catch on what he meant right away, he looked up at Janus for the first time, finding a confident young man in front of him.

Janus let his head rest on his palm.

« When he used to vent to me, I'd be able to soothe him with a song sometimes. I'm not saying this exact song would help you in particular, but the concept of it can. Find one peculiar song that grounds you, make it yours for when you need it. »

Andy kept watching him as he explained. He looked at him as though a guardian angel had just dawned on him. How did he know of his profound passion for music?

« And you'll see that soon, unbearable will become conquerable. » he looked at Andy with seriousness in his eyes, but spoke with a kind voice. « Remember to always take care of yourself. »

He sat up. « I will leave you alone now. » he chuckled. « B- »

« No! »

Both of them stared at each other in surprise.

« I mean, » Andy cleared his throat. « You can stay if you want. »

Janus smiled at him and nodded: sitting back down, he noticed Andy's much wider smile.

« So, what music do you listen to? »

The light behind your eyes

He couldn't believe he had come that far.

Janus walked down a street in town, a few years older, his face's structure bolder, his mood as high as ever when he was about to approach the building where his organization resided.

Which was kind of surprising as it was the anniversary of Virgil's death.

Janus was satisfied, to say the least.

He recalled a conversation he had had years prior with Emile Picani about what profession he was thinking of going for and, without missing a beat, he had answered he wished to follow the path of clinical psychology as well.

He had found his call, becoming a therapist and hoping to help as many people as he could: he now was a full time therapist, with his own studio, also visiting schools and participating in the nightly Community Support Group he had founded along Roman.

Sometimes he crossed paths with Emile and, now kind of colleagues, they shared each other's words of wisdom and finally talked more as friends than as mentor and student.

The support group had grown into a pretty big organization and he had succeeded into raising awareness at least in the town he lived in; of course, the challenge was to extend it further, but ending up on local newspapers and in broadcasting services was already a good start, along with multiple online platforms he was trying to maintain with the help of both Roman, Emile and every kid who offered their help.

Their main goal as of then was to expand the meetings to different issues so they could try and work on more specific problems instead of having a messy general one.

Janus stopped to look at the poster on the building's wall.

Some graphic design students had designed the support group flyer: it showcased mainly a picture of Virgil, since they had founded that group in his honor.

It was his favorite picture of Virgil, with his soft smile and that sparkle in his eyes he could still notice even after seeing it leaving his irises firsthand.

It didn't matter what he saw, though, cause his memory lived in him, he lived through him and he knew he would have been proud of him.

Janus looked away with an enormous sense of nostalgia and walked up the stairs.

« Just remember you will always burn as bright. »

Janus entered the building, taking with himself the light behind Virgil's eyes.

[logical-little-lies]

Discussions and Observations- Agere!Sides AU (pt.34)

a/n: okay so after this chapter there will be a chapter or two focusing around Remus learning about the others littlespaces and such, and that’s all I’m gonna reveal. I have a plan though, that spans over about five chapters that lowkey focus on Remus and Janus, then there is gonna be a whole other hing that I’m SO EXCITED FOR. So, be prepared for that.

Also, give a lot of thought to Janus and Virgil’s discussion in the first part of this chapter...it’ll give you the opportunity to make some predictions about some upcoming plotlines. Specifically Janus mentioning the so called “neutral sides”, and his question about Thomas.....

--

All the sides could admit that everything was soft of hectic and confusing. No, there wasn't anything wrong, exactly, but there was just a lot going on at once. Janus hung out with the core sides during the day, and went back to the dark sides tower at night. Remus was starting to question why he was never told anything about these visits.

Remus might've known about Janus, but Janus wasn't going to out the others on their regression.

Janus was still regretting telling everyone a bit. With Patton he slipped up, with Logan he was just careless, and he wasn't mad at Patton for telling Roman. Patton explained what had happened and he got it. He was just second guessing it, getting the anxious after feeling that they were judging him, even if it made no sense. They didn't push him though. They were pretty open about their littlespaces, but they didn't make him open up about his before he was ready.

No one but Virgil knew his age range, his interests, what he was like while little. He kept it all locked up. Virgil was sure that eventually, he wouldn't be able to repress his regression anymore, and he'd slip casually during a normal day. They'd have to wait and see.

As for Janus meeting the regressed sides, he actually interacted pretty well with them. Little Roman didn't like him a ton, but they did color together. Regressed Logan was curious about his scales, and Janus answered every question he had, and even let him touch that side of his face. The boy was just curious, and Janus was willing to respond to that curiosity. For Patton, he was pretty good at understanding when he wanted something, just based off of noises and motions he made while nonverbal.

So, all in all, thing were going pretty well, it was just a lot at once.

Janus had arrived at in the core side commons pretty early in the day on this particular day. Roman was brainstorming ideas in his room. Little Patton and Logan were taking a nap in the caregiver's room, so Virgil and Janus were left to hang out. "Here," Virgil handed him a buttered piece of toast, a slice of his own in his hand.

"Thank you, your Emo Dorkiness," Janus did a slight mock-bow, as best as he could from his spot sitting on the table. Again, chairs are for the weak.

Virgil chuckled and rolled his eyes, pulling the chair closest to Janus from it spot, and taking a seat. "Okay, I know everyone has been avoiding this topic forever, but when are we gonna tell Remus?" Janus blurted out after a couple long moments of silence.

"I don't know how he'd act around us while regressed, I'm worried he'll be weird." Virgil objected, taking a small bite from his toast.

"After he found my pacifier and I explained everything to him, there were multiple times were he'd stumble upon me while regressed. He'd always, kind of falter and change his attitude. It's not like super caring, or affectionate, but none of his usual weird shenanigans. He'd just ask if I was okay, and if I needed anything, and then leave me alone." Janus offered, shrugging.

"So he's not terrible with littles, he actually has a filter? I guess that's good to know.  I mean, eventually he'll find out, I don't know if we can avoid it. But based off of our theory, we think he'll turn out to be a regressor too," Virgil groaned. "I feel like Little Remus will be a disaster and a half."

"So you're guy's theory is that we all regress, because of Thomas holding onto his inner child or whatever? This includes all the dark and neutral sides?" Janus finished off his toast once completing his statement.

"I don't know about the neutrals. I still don't understand them completely." Virgil had once again, forgotten about the existence of the two neutral sides. Sleep and Empathy, they were originally characters that Thomas created for skits or youtube videos that weren't meant to be sides, but somehow, like the rest of them, they became sides. All you need to be considered a side, or figment of Thomas, is to represent a part of him, or have a job within his mind.

Remy had the job of controlling Thomas's sleep schedule, he was effected by the other sides a lot. Virgil and Remy had conflicts quite a bit, but they hadn't talked in a while. Remy kinda just hung out, in The Vineyard Village, with Emile in their little cottage. The Dark Sides nor the Core Sides really knew them, at all.

Emile was the source of Thomas's empathy, and he also sort of shared the job of inner-child with Patton. Emile wasn't bad, but he wasn't a core side because he wasn't a main part of Thomas's personality. He was just kind of there, and only stepped in when needed, from a distance. He didn't leave the mindscape much.

"Okay, kind of off topic, but if we all really do regress...wouldn't Thomas regress too?" Janus questioned. Janus was asking a question that would matter later on, but at the moment, Virgil didn't know how to respond.

"Maybe? I'm not really sure," Virgil ate the last of his toast, thinking. "We'll find out eventually, I suppose. I don't know if that's how it works-"

"Veevee?" Roman's little voice shocked Virgil. He was just big, working on a project for Thomas and brainstorming, a little bit ago.

"Hello there, you finished your brainstorming?" Virgil spoke softly, opening his arms up and welcoming Roman for a hug.

"Yeah, got ideas for Thomas to make tomorrow! But now I'm bored, playtime?" he tilted his head. Janus gave Virgil a glance that seemed to read 'we'll continue this conversation later'.

Roman switched his mindset quickly, he must have gotten stressed with the work, or he had lacked inspiration. Either way, Virgil and Janus's discussion of the theoretical possibilities of Thomas being a little, along with the possibility of Remus, the neutral sides, and the unknowns also being regressors, was put on hold.

"How about we just watch some cartoons today?" Virgil offered. Roman was apparently not afraid to act out in front of Janus.

"No, wanna play! Color with me!" he stomped his foot, then faltering and giving a apologetic soft look. "Please? Didn't mean to yell, no throwing fits." he shook his head at himself, mimicking what Virgil would've said to him at the end of his statement.

"I'll color with you, honey. Good job on remembering to use your manners," Virgil sighed. Roman was trying his best. Roman reached up to get a hug, which Virgil gave into immediately, snuggling him close before letting him go back to his room to gather coloring books, crayons,colored pencils,markers, and stickers. Basically all the art supplies needed to create a masterpiece, in the mind of a five year old, at least.

"You guys all just regress, whenever you want to?" Janus seemed a little jealous.

"Basically. I mean, if we have work we prioritize it. But Roman brainstormed some things, which is all he needed to do. I thought you said Remus didn't really care, doesn't that mean you could regress whenever, too?"

"It's still scary, though." Janus looked down, swinging his feet a bit.

"When was the last time you regressed?" Virgil asked in curiosity, causing Janus's head to shoot up.

"Uh...when you came to the tower after Easter," Janus admitted. He knew Virgil was probably gonna tell him is was bad to repress his headspace for that long, because there was no way he just didn't regress for that long. He had been pushing down his littlespace.

"You know, you don't have to be scared with us. We won't judge you, and I can take care of you," Virgil assured, Janus going silent and looking back down at his feet. He swung them again, in a childlike way.

"I know. I just...it's hard to open up, and be the vulnerable and cutesy in front of everyone. I know it's not bad to act like that, and that it helps me and I shouldn't prevent myself from using that coping skill. But it's still hard to let myself be like that, because you guys know me as this evil snake side-"

"Janus."  Virgil cut him off in a stern voice, "Just in the past weeks alone, you've show all of us that you're much more than that. You're caring, understanding, and dorky. And I have a feeling that the other core sides will like Little Janus, too." Virgil gave a soft smile.

Janus gave a thankful hum, "You think so?" he tilted his head. Virgil nodded.

Janus knew he was very close to letting himself slip in that moment. He didn't, he pulled himself out of the foggy-childlike headspace and allowed himself to focus on other things, but he did take Virgil's reassuring words to heart. Okay, yeah, he was still anxious about the whole thing, but maybe he'd let himself regress in front of the others soon.

Maybe.

Janus was snapped out of his thoughts when Virgil spoke in a very confused tone. "Remus? What are you- Go away!" Virgil shouted at him, exiting the kitchen and entering the commons where Remus popped up.

"I'm not here to do any harm! Everyone is here, and running around the imagination on my own is getting boring...I was gonna ask Roman if he wanted to resume our adventure plot.." Remus seemed to be telling the truth. He just didn't wanna be alone, and being with his brother sounded nice.

Of course, to add to the confusion, this is when Roman walked out of the hall where the bedrooms were, holding his stack of childish art supplies. Virgil seemed to have calmed down, but Roman looked so confused and scared in that moment. Roman took a second to process the situation before making a snapping motion and making the art supplies disappear. He was now wearing his usual prince attire, with a different posture.

Compared to the others, Roman was the best at pulling himself out of his headspace on command. He didn't like to, and it was difficult to remain out of his littlespace after forcing himself out of it, but it was something he could do if needed.

"What's going on out here? Patton and I just got up and you guys talk loud- Oh!" Logan had exited his room, holding the deeply regressed Patton, who was obviously still waking up and slightly sleepy. Logan looked at Remus, not knowing what to do.

Patton buried his head in Logan's chest, trying to avoid the whole situation. "Wait," Remus looked between Roman, then Janus, and then Patton. He seemed to be thinking.

"Oh, oh!  I got it! Patton and Roman are regressors, like Janus!" he seemed proud of himself for coming to that conclusion. "Oh, I'm sorry! Was I not supposed to know?" he looked between the others, who were all in silence.

"Not really. But, if you already knew about Janus, I-i guess it doesn't matter." Even Logan seemed to be confused. It was just bad timing on everyone's part. But also, no one expected Remus to react so calmly.

"I guess it explains why Roman is randomly unavailable, and why Janus always seems to be leaving parts out when he tells me about his visits here." Remus shocked Logan with how he logically put things together, and Roman just seemed relieved that he was accepting. Patton had lifted his head.

"Yeah, but about the adventure thing, I can go! I'm not in my headspace anymore, and it'll give me a chance to explain everything to you, yeah?" Roman offered.

"Isn't it like, not good to pull yourself out of your headspace forcefully, if you can avoid it? I'm not completely sure on that, but I feel like that's a thing..." Remus looked at Janus, looking back to Roman, who shrugged.

"I already pulled myself out, so I might as well just go with you."

"Wait, where did you learn about that? The effects of repressing regression?" Logan questioned.

"Janus, mostly. I found out about him, and we talked a few times about it," Remus shrugged, seemingly careless about the whole situation. "Wait, is it just the three of them? Or are you and Virgil littles too?"

They had a lot to explain to him.  

[thechosenburrito]

The Heart Gambit (Dennor): 2-The Arbiter

Word Count: 1,566

Summary: Mathias and Emil meet the day after the party for drinks but things take a surprising turn when Emil has to leave suddenly. Author's Note: Yay next chapter! Sorry it's a little late! I had a great time writing it so I hope you enjoy it and do leave me some feedback so I can keep getting better! Previous: 1-Where I want to Be --- Mathias took a swig of his drink. The bar was mostly quiet except for some old men having a conversation in the corner, occasionally punching through the quiet with bouts of hearty laughter. He anticipated the noise would pick up as the night went on and hoped his drink would loosen his nerves. His plan was to persuade Emil to introduce him to Lukas, but Mathias was having doubts. He'd spent the last night tossing and turn in his hotel room. Should I say I'm sorry for saying he doesn't have a life? Would he believe me? Why do I care what he thinks? Mathias wasn't really sure why he wanted to talk to Lukas so badly.

He thought back to the conversation he had with Alfred last night. All Mathias has to do was shake hands and be relatively polite; win them over with 'charm'. He'd done it a million times before. He remembered how much fun it was at the beginning of his career. He liked seeing people smile and laugh when he was loud or made a snarky comment. No one has seen a Chess player like that before. Breaking the stereotype worked in his favor for a long time, but the more Mathias thought about how he felt about keeping up this facade, the more the same thought came to his mind: I'm tired. This wasn't the first time he had this thought. It started maybe a year ago, and to say it scared him was an understatement. He couldn't fathom losing everything he worked for at the time. He relished the fame and loved his lifestyle. But these days, he had half a mind to be a no-show at the match and run away to a small village nearby and spend the rest of his days breathing in the fresh air, soaking in the sunlight. Mathias quickly zoned back in as he heard the door open. Emil stepped through, looking much different from the night before. Rather than the suit and tie from last night, he was wearing a striped button-down shirt and brown jacket that looked as if it had been hastily thrown on. Emil looked over at him. He stared for a moment before recognizing Mathias and walking over. He didn't blame him for not recognizing him. When he's not as some stuffy get-together, Mathais wore his hair much wilder and popped the collars of his shirts. Mathias also wouldn't be surprised if he looked like he went through a tornado considering how tired he was when he got dressed. At this point, it wouldn't phase him to learn he was wearing two left shoes or one black and one brown. Emil made his way over to Mathias's table and sat across from him. Emil looked a little stiff and his gaze was fixed on the table. He chuckled a bit. "You know, part of me did think you'd show up," he said with a half-smile. Mathias beamed. "Of course! I wanted to finish our conversation from last night! Talking about your brother is way more fun than a stuffy party! To be fair, it's also way more fun when you're not AT the stuffy party!" he laughed. "'Though, I'm kinda curious. What about you, huh? Emil was taken aback a bit. Just last night, Mathias was mostly well-behaved with a bit of an ego. Now he's asking about him? Everything Lukas told him made it seem like Mathias would be the kind of guy to spend half the time talking about how great he is and the other half talking sponsorship and bulldozing rainforests. "Well, there's not much to talk about." He shifted a bit in his seat. "It's just been me and Lukas for a long time. When he picked up Chess and started getting serious, I joined him. I never really liked competing, though. So I ended up becoming his second. Now my job is to make sure he actually eats food instead of just reading. The rest is history." Mathias took a swig from his drink. "So why stick around, huh? If you don't like the whole competition scene then...well I guess I'm asking what you'd be doing if you weren't doing chess?" he implored with a childlike smile. Emil scratched at his palm. "I... well... I've always wanted to go back to school. It's not like I'm that old or anything! I used to wanted to go to school for geology or something like that," Emil said, his face lighting up. "I've always like volcanoes and things like that!" Mathias gave a bit smile. "That's so cool! You should tell me what lava feels like when you get to touch it!" he exclaimed. Emil raised an eyebrow. "I don't think... never mind. So what about you, huh? Got any plans for after the match?" Emil asked, stealing glances at his watch. Mathias paused for a moment. He couldn't exactly say he hadn't thought about it before. Of course he has. But no matter how much he thought about it, he couldn't think of somewhere he wanted to be. He couldn't see himself as any conventional job like a lawyer, teacher, and certainly not an office

worker. If he was honest with himself, he didn't really fit any job in particular. He didn't have a higher purpose anymore. Chess became his life, his life became chess, and he was scared of who he would be without it. He lost so much to Chess, but he most regretted the time he lost, the life he wouldn't get back. Maybe that's what he would do. Spend the rest of his life making up for all the time he lost at uncomfortable parties, being purposely arrogant and hurtful, and for every game he played after he realized it didn't make him happy anymore. Mathias managed a small smile. "Oh you know!" he said, trying to sound cheery. "I think I wanna take a break for a while! No more stuffy lame parties for a long time! I'll get a house somewhere nice and just have a good time!" Emil opened his mouth to respond, but his watch began beeping. He jumped up from his seat and stopped his watch. "Sorry! I have to...um...go...I'll be right back!" he said, practically bolting out. Mathias barely had time to process what happened before the door opened and a familiar figure walked through. Emil was right, he did come right back. Only something was different. Mathias got a second look and felt himself stiffen up. "No way," he whispered under his breath. Lukas was scanning the room with furrowed brows. He carefully made his way through the now more crowded bar, looking at every patron as if he lost something. Mathias found him jumping up from his seat and weaving his way through the tables and chairs towards Lukas. In all honesty, he had no idea what he was doing or what he was going to say to him once he got there. He just knew he had to meet Lukas. Ok, I'll open with an apology! Yeah! 'Sorry for being an ass during the interview!'. Then maybe I can ask him to get a drink or something or- Mathias felt something bump against his chest that caused him to take a step back. He snapped back to reality and noticed someone sprawled on the floor in front of him. "Woah are you ok!? My bad! I totally didn't see you there!" he cried out, a bit too loudly. Mathias stuck out his hand. The person on the floor sat up a bit, rubbing their arm. "Sorry...I'm just looking for my brother..." the person replied quietly. They reached out and grabbed Mathias's hand, finally making eye contact. And at that moment, Mathias knew it was all over. Lukas's hand was so soft and warm in his own, he couldn't imagine ever letting go of it. The feeling of his hands sent electricity through his veins. Falling to the ground made his hair a little messy, strands of blonde hair covering his face, and he was partially tangled up in a long white scarf. But what made Mathias know he was done for was Lukas's eyes. Like Emil, they were so blue they seemed violet, but Lukas's were different. They always seemed so cold in the pictures Mathias has seen of him. Those weren't the eyes he met. Mathias saw soft eyes, like a child's. There was concern in them, maybe even a little embarrassment. Lukas's eyes managed to see right through Mathias straight into his soul. He felt his heart flutter for a moment and a warmth spread to his cheeks. And with that, his whole world turned upside down. Lukas had already begun pulling himself up when he finally recognized the man attached to the hand. "Thank y- WAIT A MINUTE YOU'RE-" Lukas's grip on Mathias's hand slipped and he found he found himself crashing back onto the floor with another loud thud. All Mathias could manage to do was stare for a moment before forcing himself to offer his hand again, praying Lukas would take it. "Hi...I'm...um...I'm Mathias...nice to meet you..." was the only thing he could get to come out, feeling the least confident he'd ever felt in his life. Lukas hesitated for a moment before taking Mathias's hand.

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Next Chapter: 3-One-Way Screen a/n: I'm so excited to be writing this! Things are definitely gonna start getting more interesting in the next chapter!  I’m going to take this time to plug my non-hetalia work “ Intro to Love ” about a college student who

struggles to keep her superpowers a secret and while making new friends.  How much of her normal life will she give up to save her friends from a mysterious villain that drains students’ brains and turns them into zombies? The complete Chapter 1 is out NOW! And Chapter 2.1-'The last of the Good Days' will be out in the next couple of days! Thanks again for reading! Send some feedback my way! Can’t wait to continue this story! Quotev link: here

[one-leaf-grimoire]

Catfish (1/3)

So uhhh I’ve had this idea bouncing in my brain for like a month and I need to get rid of it so now you guys are subjected to it. Oops? It’s pretty self indulgent but hey what’s new? Anyway enjoy!

Also I was struggling to write this in 2nd person because I kept switching to 1st person. If you notice that in there please just ignore lol.

Warning: Finral’s shenanigans, alcohol use, catfishing (uh oh)

Even after 3 years of being part of the Black Bull’s squad, one thing remained constant: Finral never, NEVER stopped flirting.

“Ah!!~ You look so lovely today, why don’t the two of us go on a date sometime?” Finral appeared out of nowhere as you minded your own business, extending a gaudy bouquet of flowers towards you. You almost screamed in terror as he popped up, but managed to contain it.

“Er, thanks? Finral, you don’t have to keep giving me these, and anyway-” You laughed nervously. “I told you this before... you’re cool and everything, I just think it could be weird to date someone on the same squad, you know?” It’s true, in-squad dating could potentially lead to some very awkward situations. You had explained this reasoning to Finral time and time again, but he never seemed to quite get it.

“Aw... wait, you’ve told me that before, haven’t you?

“Yes, several times.”

“Well...” Finral’s eyes suddenly light up. “Since we’re both two lonely souls, and you want to meet someone from outside the squad, why don’t you come to the mixer with me next week?”

You’re not exactly sure what he’s talking about, but it sounds sketchy. “Mixer?”

Finral’s eyes widen. “Yeah, a mixer! It’s where young single people come to mingle and meet one another. You get paired with people for dinner.”

“Oh, so like a blind date?” The thought of going on a “date” with someone you don’t even know is sort of intimidating, but Finral keeps insisting that it’s fun. You do want to find a boyfriend at some point, just because it’s starting to get lonely. Being a magic knight is fun and all, but it takes up a lot of time, and relationships need time to build. Maybe this would be a good way to meet some people from other squads after all. “Alright... I’ll go with you.”

“Wonderful! We can be each other’s wingmen!”

“I don’t know about that...”

(one week later)

Two minutes after arriving in the town of Nean, you’re already regretting this decision. Finral dragged you into some loud, crowded inn. Most of the other girls there were dressed to impress, frilly gowns and ribbons in their hair. But you were still wearing your work clothes and cloak. That's what Finral was wearing, anyway! "You could have at least warned me about the dress code," you whispered to him angrily.

"Huh? Oh, don't worry about that!" Finral assured you. "Lots of girls like it if you're wearing your squad cloak! It attracts them like crazy!"

That's all well and good, but what about the men? Most of the men here seem to be making beelines for the girls in the pretty dresses, paying no mind to the girl with the squad cloak. "Well, what now?"

"We need to find a place to sit- Look! Over there!" Finral pointed at a table where a boy was already sitting, with two girls right across from them. He grabbed your hand and dragged you over. "Hey guys! Looks like you need another lady, huh?"

The guy blinked, sizing the two of you up. "...alright." The way he saw it, Finral wouldn't be a big threat, causing him to smile. "Have a seat!"

"Thanks!" Finral sits down across from one of the girls, then points at the empty seat with no one across from it. "Go on! Now we just need another guy..." He frowned as he realized you weren't moving. "What's wrong?"

You tried to string together some words. Already, you can tell that this guy isn't going to be very interested in you, and you doubt the last one will be either. So, what's the point? "Finral... I-I just remembered I have something to do-" You said quickly. "So, ah, I gotta-"

"WOW!" You were cut off by a loud gasp behind you. "A magic knight? No, TWO magic knights... Jackpot!"

You turned around to see the source to the exclamation: a young man with curly brown hair and the thickest glasses you had ever seen. He looks like a stereotypical librarian, was your very first thought. "Er- I was just-"

"Can I sit here with you guys? Please?" He's basically vibrating with excitement at the mere thought. It's a little creepy.

The other guy at the table chuckles to himself. "Go ahead, we need one more."

Oh god. Now you were trapped.

“Hello everyone! Now, we should all introduce ourselves to get warmed up!” Finral immediately takes charge of the dinner, which I’m grateful for. If nothing else, he’s good at riling people up, one way or another. “I’ll start! My name is Finral Roulacase, I’m 21, and I am a member of the Black Bulls! One interesting thing about me is that my Captain basically depends on me for everything. Without me, the squad would go under!”

“Whoa, really?” Mr. Spectacles blinks slowly as he looks at Finral in awe for some reason.

“Well, sort of.” Finral laughs nervously. “Next!”

The guy who was here originally flashes the girls a smile. “Good evening. I’m Emile, I’m 23, and I help my father run his merchant business.” The girls’s eyes immediately light up at this information. Having money is probably a plus. “And an interesting thing about me... I’m a great kisser.” Emile winks over at them.

Shit, he’s good! Finral thinks to himself.

I mean, he is pretty handsome, you thought to yourself, eyeing Emile up. But... I don’t know. He rubs me the wrong way already. Maybe Finral is the best option here-

The last guy stands up, wringing his hands together nervously as he squints over at us through his glasses. “Hello!!! I guess it’s my turn, ahah! Thanks for letting me sit with you, once again!” He giggles to himself nervously. “My name is, uh.... James! And I’m... uh... 21 as well! I work in the... uh- the Royal Library! I know that’s probably not where you expect a fellow young-person to work, but I do! And, an interesting fact about me... well, I’m not just going to tell you, you’ll have to ask me to find out.”

None of us know what to think about James. Finral stares at him for a moment before shrugging and turning back to the girls. “Now, what about you lovely ladies?”

The two girls recite their information, but their gazes are only directed on Emile and James. Mostly Emile, though... even though James works in the Royal Library and probably has connections, they don’t seem to care much for his manner... or something. James doesn’t seem to mind, though, he just keeps looking around the inn like a child in a candy store. 

Finally, it’s your turn to tell everyone your name, and you do, a little nervously. “I’m 21 too, I’m on the Black Bulls, and, uh...” You were blanking on a fun fact so you decided to piggyback off of James. “Ask me for an interesting fact later. Hehe.”

A waitress comes by and drops off some beer (THANK GOD). You quickly start drinking in the hopes that it will calm your nerves, but get distracted when Emile calls your name. “So, you and Finral are the same age? You must have taken the exam together then. What was that like?”

“Oh, well, you see-” Your hands were shaking now that this very handsome guy was staring at you with interest. “I-I didn’t take the exam. Our captain ran into me at a bad time in my life and thought my powers would be a good match for the team-”

“A bad time in your life? What happened?”

You gulp nervously. “My... parents died. About three years ago?”

Emile’s eyes widen. “You’re an orphan, then?”

“Er, technically-”

“Let’s change the subject!” Finral interjects before I can get any more uncomfortable. The conversation moves on and any interest Emile had in you is gone. You supposed that a girl with no parents wouldn’t be much of a profit... no dowry. Well, if a guy wants to date me just for the money, then he isn’t worth it! you think, but still feel a bit disappointed. 

“Your captain took you in? He must be a nice guy.” You looked up to see James speaking to you with a little smile on his face. He’s calmed down by now as well. “I’m sure you make a good member of the team.”

Well... at least he’s nice! I should at least make an effort to get to know him. He seemed a little eccentric but honestly who wasn’t? “So, er, James,” you started, not sure what to ask. “Have you been to a mixer before?”

“Nope! This is my first one.”

“Oh, me too!” For some reason, the answer put you at ease. Everyone else here seemed to be comfortable. James reached up and took his glasses off to clean them briefly, and for the first time, you got a good look at his eyes.

... they were beautiful, a shade of purple you had never seen before.

“... what are you looking to get out of this mixer?”

The question was a bit bold, and you weren’t exactly sure why you asked it. Something possessed you in that moment, because there was something strange about James, something you didn’t notice until he took off his glasses. 

“Hmm?” James looked back up at you as he put his glasses back on. “Oh, I don’t get out much! My job is pretty hard, believe it or not.” He giggled to himself as if it were an inside joke. “I thought this would be a good way to meet new people and see new things!”

... that’s all? For some reason, the answer was a bit disappointing. Maybe he wasn’t looking for a date, maybe he really did just want to socialize.

But I can’t give up... I don’t know why, but I feel a strange need to succeed. And I will!

“What about you?” James asks obliviously.

You clear your throat and summon every ounce of courage within you.

“I’m looking for a boyfriend, of course.”

You winked, internally screaming as James’s eyes widened a little. Ahh! Hopefully that doesn’t scare him off-

After the moment of clarity, James breaks into another adorable smile, but he can’t hide the blush on his cheeks. “Oh... see any good options yet?”

Got him! “Maybe... we’ll see.”

After that the food comes, and your nerves melt as determination takes hold. It’s been a long time since you actively flirted with anyone, but you think you’re doing pretty well here. You have James basically all to yourself since both of the other girls seem to be only interested in the more charismatic Emile. Most of my comments go over James’s head, but you know when one connects because his ears turn bright red and his voice wavers. Most of the time, though, he’s bombarding you and Finral with questions about being magic knights. “

But, eventually the event devolves. Emile gets a little tipsy and challenges both of the other guys to a drinking contest. “Whoever wins gets all three of the girls to themselves!” he states cockily. You don’t really like the way he just lumped you all into this like you were objects.

“Now, now, that doesn’t sound healthy!” Finral objects quickly, but yelps when Emile grabs him by the front of the shirt. “AH! I mean, may the best man win!”

James just laughs and picks up his mug. “I’m ready!”

Five drinks in, and Finral falls forward onto the table, passed out. Emile, who is belligerently drunk by now, roars and grabs him by the front of the shirt. “You can’t just fall asleep on me! Keep fighting! Do you want to make me look like a fool!? Get- Get-” He lets go of Finral and staggers back. “Ouch...”

You avert your eyes, feeling very embarrassed. Emile was making everyone at this table look stupid. Luckily, Emile sat down heavily in his chair and ended up passed out in the same position as Finral 2 seconds later. 

“Well... looks like I won!” To everyone’s surprise, the nerdy, slight James is the only one still standing. “Haha, so, ladies?”

“I’m out.”

“Me too.”

Both of the girls unceremoniously stand up and walk off, not sparing either of you a passing glance as they disappear. And just like that... You and James are alone.

“... that was rude how they just left. I think you’re pretty nice,” you said, wringing your hands together under the table.

“Really? That’s nice of you,” James says cheerfully. “I didn’t really know what to expect from tonight, but it’s fun! I’m sorry you had to get stuck with me at the end, though.”

“Huh? No, don’t be sorry! Emile really isn’t my type and Finral’s just a friend... plus, I told you,” you brought yourself to look in his eyes again. “I think you’re pretty nice...”

James just chuckles a little at that, his blush still visible but lessened. He must have gotten used to it by now. “Wanna go outside?”

“Sure!” 

You make sure that Finral is comfortable in his sleep before walking outside after James, your eyes fixed on the back of his curly brown hair. He’s a weird guy. Sometimes he seems so hyper, but other times he’s mellow. I wonder if he’s putting on an act?

“Look, there’s still a lot of people down in the square.” James gestures down at the street over the railing of the walkway the two of you are on. “I love people-watching... sometimes you can tell what kind of magic they have just from the way they move! Like him-” He points at a guy walking with his hands in his pockets. “What do you think he does?”

“Hmm...” You lean on the railing next to him, not sure why he was so interested in this. “I don’t know. Probably something boring.”

James lets out a short laugh, shaking his head. “No one is boring... everyone in the kingdom has an exciting story to tell, you know? I’m sure you do...”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” you reply, looking up to see him staring at you with that little smile once again.

“... I think you’re interesting.”

For the first time in a long time, your heart skipped a beat.

“... fire magic.”

“Huh?”

“That guy, he has fire magic.”

“Oh!” James looks down at the guy once again. “What makes you say that?”

You point at the man before he walks out of sight. “The way he saunters around, like he owns this whole town. That’s how a lot of fire-magic users are. They think they’re hot shit or something...”

Your voice trails off, then you both burst into laughter. “Hey! That wasn’t even a good pun, stop laughing!”

“Oh? Make me.”

... uh oh.

You stopped laughing as James continued to chuckle. For some reason, all parts of his face faded from your vision... all but his lips.

But you didn’t take the chance, and he settled down. “I bet you’re right, though. You have a fire-magic user on your squad, don’t you?”

“Yeah, Magna... hey-” You frowned. “How did you know that?”

James stuck out his tongue teasingly with a wink. “No reason. Anyway-” His eyes suddenly twinkled violently as he rapidly changed the subject. “Right now! Tell me your top five types of magic!”

Top five types of magic?! What is that supposed to mean?! You gulped, stuttering as you tried to think of something. “Uh... well...” You started counting off on your fingers. “I like Finral’s spatial magic... and light magic! Only the King has that but it’s cool. And then Vanessa’s thread magic, I’ve never seen anything like it. Lord Nozel’s mercury magic is neat, and then number one is Captain Yami’s dark magic.”

“Interesting...”

“What about you?”

“Hmmm...” He hums for a long time before breaking into what’s obviously a well-rehearsed list. “Memory Magic, Tree Magic, Fire Magic, Dark Magic, Time Magic, and... hmm...” He hums again before looking down at you. “What kind of magic do you have, by the way?”

The question caught you off guard, especially when James was about to finish his list. “oh... it’s gem magic...”

“Gem magic?”

“Basically I can conjure them and shoot them at people. They can also refract other magic and send it in a different direction.” James doesn’t say anything right away, but when I look back up at him he’s vibrating with excitement. “That’s.. so cool! I’ve never seen that in action before! So, I guess...” He winks. “Gem Magic is my favorite magic.”

... oh my god. That was smooth. James?!?! WHo are you?!!?

“I’ve never seen it in action before, though... you should demonstrate it for me next time!”

“Oh, sure- wait, next time-”

“Great!” James laughs warmly, adjusting his glasses. “I have a day off next week! I’ll write you a letter!”

You stared at him for a moment, stunned. Did he just ask me on a second date? Or am I overthinking it... no, he definitely just did!

“Well, I’ll see you next week. Goodnight!” Before you get over your shock, James swoops down and grabs your hand, presses a kiss to the back, then walks off behind you. You blink, finally coming to your senses. Jeez, it was like he put you in a trance or something! “James! Wait-”

You turn around, and he’s gone.

You had some time to sit and think after that while Finral recovered enough to transport you home. James had first struck you as a nerdy, eccentric, yet ordinary guy at first, but now... you were right, there was just something off about him. Part of you wanted to go on the date with him to get to the bottom of the mystery... but then the other part of you wanted it for a different reason.

Either way... something strange was going on here. Stranger than you could possibly imagine.

Yay you made it to the end of the first chapter! Congrats... maybe it is obvious to you who “James” is but our dear Reader has a real surprise waiting for her. Feel free to send me your input, I always love reading your reactions to these short fics.

See you in chapter 2~

[kieraswriting]

Searching for Home Chapter Twenty-Three

Masterpost 

It was many hours later when Saoirse popped up from the water. 

The boy was asleep in her arms, and she carefully got out of the water to sit next to Emile. 

“How’d it go?” He asked. 

“Well, his mother might have been Aine, but we haven’t seen her in ten years or more.” Saoirse whispered. “But the poor dear has had his coat passed around far too much for such a young one. Whatever you do, don’t let anyone take it from him.”

Emile nodded seriously. 

Saoirse stroked his hair gently. “He’s having a hard time thinking clearly, poor thing. And he can only barely hear the song of the sea. He needs some stability for a while.”

Emile nodded. “But I don’t know where else to look for his family.”

Saoirse pursed her lips. “You could adopt him. I would, but I travel too much, and that wouldn’t be good for him.”

“Adopt? But I barely even know him! Remy only rescued him a day or two ago.”

Saoirse frowned. “And what, you’d just leave him to fend for himself?”

“Of course not, but I— I’m not a father. I don’t know what to do.”

Saoirse’s frown deepened. “You’re related to him, and you’ve had experience with kids.”

“Playing with them, maybe, I just… I’m not just going to leave him, Saoirse, but I can’t be a father. I’m foolish and flighty and I don’t know how to do any of the serious parts of parenting. And we don’t know each other! I can’t just adopt him like that.”

“Wha’s adopt?” The little boy asked, his words slurring with sleep as he shifted his position. 

“Shhh, sweetheart, go back to sleep.” Saoirse said softly. 

“But what is it?”

“It’s when you say that someone is part of your family now,” Emile said.��

The little boy yawned. “Can anybody do it?”

Emile nodded. “As long as the person they’re adopting wants to be adopted, then yes.”

That seemed to satisfy him, and he drifted back into sleep. 

“Really think about it, Emile,” Saoirse said. “Look for his mom a bit longer if you want, but if you don’t find her, he needs somewhere to stay for good.”

Emile nodded seriously. 

Remy had left a while ago, so Emile and Saoirse talked for a while longer about possible places to look, people to ask, things to do, and other such things until the boy woke up. 

Emile let out a shriek to call Remy, and then the three of them played small games together until he arrived and took the two of them back to Keatheas. 

••^*^••

Patton woke up in the bed, alone in the inn room. His head was clearer now than it had been in a while, and he slipped off the bed as quietly as he could. 

He was going to find Logan. 

He was very quiet leaving the room, and very careful as he walked through the big main room, and he didn’t let Remy or Emile see him as he slipped outside. 

The sun was going to set soon, but he could still see just fine. He had to find his way to the river. 

He was going to find Logan, and he was going to adopt him. 

••^*^••

The innkeeper kept trying to get his attention, so finally Remy detached himself from the gossip group and went around to the back near the kitchen. 

“I already paid you, I’m not gonna do it a second time.”

“Well, you might. I have information you’d want to know.”

Remy rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure, you have magic sheets for the beds and you want me to pay extra.”

“No, I have information about your kid.”

Remy was instantly interested, but hid it behind a yawn. “Yeah, yeah, I know now that he has nightmare troubles, didn’t need you to tell me. And I’m not paying for any noise complaint.”

The innkeeper looked like he was trying to conceal his annoyance, but it wasn’t working well. “No, it’s actually something important! You’ll regret it if you don’t know it.”

Remy shook his head incredulously. “And what are you wanting to be paid for this ‘esteemed, precious information’?”

The innkeeper frowned. “Five silver.”

Remy raised an eyebrow. “Five silver? Wow, I didn’t know you took me for a fool. Tell you what, I’ll give you five, but if I knew it already you have to give all five back.”

The innkeeper stuck out his hand. “Deal.”

Remy set the money on the counter and shook his hand. “So what is it?”

“There’s two men upstairs looking for him. They already have one kid, and that one doesn’t look like either of them.”

Remy’s expression didn’t change, but he could feel the blood draining from his face. 

“One of them at least doesn’t seem too stable,” the innkeeper continued. “And the other took the kid on an outing earlier today, and came back with more money than you’d expect for being gone such a short time.”

Remy gave the slightest nod. “And have you sold them any information about us yet?”

“You have to pay more for that—“

Remy slammed a fist down on the counter hard enough to rattle everything on it and draw the attention of everyone in the room. He clenched his jaw tightly and took in a deep breath that came out smelling of smoke. “Why don’t we talk somewhere more private.”

He dragged the innkeeper back into the kitchen, which was thankfully unoccupied. 

“Did you sell them information about us?”

The innkeeper looked properly scared, which he ought to be, as Remy was tense enough to start breathing fire any minute. 

“Just who you are, and a map. They don’t know that you’re here, or that it’s your kid.”

Remy let go of the innkeeper’s shirt, and based on the way he stumbled back, he must have been holding him almost off the ground. 

“Fine.”

Remy went immediately to grab Emile and take him upstairs, only to see the empty bed. 

Emile stayed there to search the room, and Remy ran down the stairs. 

“Who are they?!” He demanded. 

The innkeeper startled, “I-I can’t just—“

Remy shoved him back, nearly snarling. “You tell me now or I swear you’ll have more trouble than you ever wanted.”

“They’re in the far room on the left,” the innkeeper said, pointing with a shaking hand. 

Remy ran back up the stairs, trying to open the door and kicking hard when it didn’t immediately open. It opened on the third kick, and he stormed into the room. 

There was one man just waking up, and another short man planting himself between Remy and the man, behind him hiding a small boy, but not the one Remy was looking for. 

“Where is he?!” Remy yelled, not caring that he was surely drawing way too much attention from the other patrons. 

“I don’t know who you’re talking about,” the short man said firmly. “Please leave.”

“Don’t act dumb, the innkeeper told me you were looking for the kid, now where is he?!”

“You had Patton?” The man on the bed said, scrambling off. “Where— you were the dragon.”

Remy didn’t recognize the man, but he assumed he must have been one of the thugs trying to grab the poor kid. 

“Yeah, I was, now where is he?!” Remy yelled. 

“Stop!” A weak voice pleaded, but as soon as he looked at the kid he shrunk back, clinging tightly to the shorter man. 

Remy tried to pull back, to take a calming breath, but as he blew it out it was dark with smoke. 

“What happened to Patton?” The taller man asked, his voice not harsh and demanding like Remy would have expected of a thug. He wished that they’d just stick to the easy stereotypes. 

“As if you care!”

A hand on his shoulder made Remy turn abruptly, but it was just Emile. 

Emile looked around the room, his eyes settling on the taller man. “What’s your name?”

“Logan.”

Remy’s anger abruptly fizzled out. “You’re Logan?”

Emile was much calmer and more collected about things. “Patton’s been asking for you. He’s missing, but he hasn’t been for long, we’ll help you find him.”

Logan looked like he could just about crumple over, but he stood a bit straighter. “Thank you.”

[perspective-series]

Kingdom Perspective (10)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: Fear, panic, kidnapping, keeping/treating people like pets, threats, and unwanted touching/grabbing

First Chapter || Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

—————————————————————————————————-

“Ah, Roman.” Picani greeted the younger prince as he entered, Logan already sat in one of the chairs across the table. “Please, have a seat. There’s an important matter of which you should be informed.”

 Roman looked at the two with a raised eyebrow but took his seat. Honestly, he was still thinking about his conversation with Virgil but he knew he had to focus on this. “And what would that be?”

“I’m going to be king.” Logan said, turning to his brother.

 “...Yes, I know.” Roman looked to his brother in confusion. “This isn’t new information, we’ve known about this since birth.”

“No, what he means is, he’s going to be king now.” Picani sighed. “The coronation is at the end of the week.”

 Roman’s eyes widened. “What?!” Roman exclaimed, all thoughts of Virgil clear from his mind for a moment. “B-But, I thought we still had a year left? What happened?” He turned to look at Emile.

“Father is out of control.” Logan shrugged.

“Yes, the current king has been deemed unfit to rule.” Picani admitted. “It’s a very delicate political climate right now and we need a leader who isn’t so much of a firecracker. Logan will be taking the throne and overseeing all future agreements in the coming weeks.”

 “...Oh.” Roman said simply. It did make sense. Their father had had this coming for a while now. But he was still a bit salty over the fact that Logan was going to be king. “Well...congratulations, I suppose.”

“Thank you.” Logan received the praise in true smug brotherly fashion.

“Now, this does mean we’ll have to move up your schedule as well, Roman.” Picani placed his arms on the table, folding his hands. “You are now next in line for the throne, which means you will need to attend the same studies Logan has finished so that, should something happen to your brother, you are prepared to take his place.”

 “Great.” Honestly, Roman was not looking forward to more studying. “And when will I be starting that?”

“Ideally today, but right now we are at our wits’ end preparing your brother.” Picani pushed up his spectacles. “So, your studies will begin after the coronation. That being said, I would like to go over some of the basic details should something happen within the next week.”

“With all due respect, is my presence here necessary?” Logan turned to Picani. “I don’t mean to rush, it’s just that I do need to get to lunch and I’m on quite a tight schedule.” 

“No, by all means!” Picani quickly got up, opening the door for Logan with a bow. “Go right ahead, your highness.” 

Logan gave him a nod, standing up. “Best of luck, Roman.”

 “Thanks.” Roman said with a slight groan and prepared for what he assumed would be a long talk.

Logan walked out of the hall, back towards his chambers.

“Here you are, your highness.” A mousy girl waited outside of the door, bowing low and presenting a tray of sandwiches.

“Thank you.” Logan took it from her, heading inside. While wait staff had used to set these things inside his chambers for him, Logan had strictly forbidden any staff from entering his rooms since Patton arrived. This was due to a few instances involving curious maids and other surprises that had startled the human terribly.

“Hello, Patton.” Logan greeted, coming over to the desk. He cleared his papers, setting down the food before opening the cage and tapping the desk top.

 Patton grinned when he saw Logan and practically ran over when Logan gave him the command. “Logan! How...How is everything?”

“Stressful.” Logan admitted, ripping off part of a sandwich and handing it to Patton. “It feels as though every action I make now has more weight to it. There’s so much pressure to do it right the first time, or else everyone will look down on me for my age.”

 Patton frowned, taking the sandwich and biting into it. “I’m sure you’ll do great Logan.” Patton gave him a smile. “You have to stop worrying about what other people will think and just go with what you think is best.”

“Yes, I suppose.” Logan chewed his food thoughtfully, considering Patton’s point. 

 Patton nodded and took another bite before realizing what he needed to bring up again. “So...about Virgil…” Patton started, glancing up at Logan.

“What about Virgil?” Logan asked, the morning’s conversation having been driven from his mind by all his advisor’s lessons.

 “I-I really think it’s fine if I keep seeing him.” Patton said, feeling nervous at Logan’s answer.

“Oh, right.” Logan rubbed at his forehead. “Well, I’m not sure if that is even going to be possible. With the way Roman’s and my responsibilities are changing we may not have much overlapping free time.”

 Patton’s face fell. “You...You won’t be able to make a little time? Like for lunch or something?”

“At least not for the next few weeks.” Logan informed him. “First it’s the coronation, then it’s traveling to meet for the treaty, then it’s returning home to pick up the slack from the traveling time...honestly it’s such a mess.”

 No, this wasn't good. He had to see Virgil again. He had gone so long without human interaction before but he couldn’t do it again. Not now that he remembered how it felt.

 And...And Virgil was counting on him to relay the information he had learned. It, it might not help them escape but Patton had promised. What was he going to do?

“...I’ll try to arrange something by next month.” Logan caved, seeing Patton looking glum.

 ...A month. Well, Patton supposed it was...better than nothing. Patton smiled. “Thank you Logan.” He took another bit of his food. A month was still a long time though.

“Of course, that’s also dependent on how Virgil and Roman are doing.” Logan said thoughtfully. “Something tells me they have been arguing again. Roman seemed off when I saw him today.”

 “O-Oh?” That...That didn’t sound good. What if Roman punished Virgil? Patton couldn’t handle the thought. He wanted to go check him but...Logan wouldn’t allow it. Not for another month.

“Yes, I think Virgil might be too stubborn for his own good.” Logan admitted. “Roman can get quite hot-headed when his buttons are pushed.”

 And that sounded worse. Patton needed to check on Virgil, now. But that would mean...He looked up at Logan and swallowed the lump forming in his throat. He took a deep breath.

 He could do this. For Virgil. “Um, Logan? Could I get some water?” He asked, noticing how the servant apparently hadn’t brought any with their meal.

“Oh yes, of course.” Logan said, noticing this as well. “Be right back.” He assured Patton, going out in the hall to catch a passing servant.

 Patton took in a shaky breath as Logan left the room before jumping into action, knowing he didn’t have a lot of time. He went over to the edge and bit his lip at the drop below. But...If he jumped onto the chair first, then that just might work. 

 He didn’t have any other options, so he braced himself and jumped. He landed with a grunt on the chair but quickly stood up and going over to the edge again. The drop was more from here but maybe instead of jumping he could shimmy down the chair leg.

 Patton decided to give it a try, getting into position and started to slide down carefully. He didn’t breath until he felt his feet on the ground. He smiled. Okay, so far so good.

It was at the moment Logan returned, water pitcher in hand. He shut the door behind him, coming over to the desk.

 Patton eyes widened as he saw Logan approaching and quickly hid behind the table leg, shaking like a leaf. He was suddenly very much regretting this.

“...Patton?” Logan paused, not seeing the human where he had left him. He set the pitcher down cautiously, leaning over to look all around on the desk. “Patton, where are you?”

 Patton felt himself freeze as Logan called his name. A large part of him wanted to reveal himself. To show Logan he was there but he couldn’t do that. He had gone too far already, if Logan found him, he’d be in so much trouble. Patton shivered just thinking about it.

 Patton glanced over to the door and waited just a tad longer for his chance.

“Patton…” Logan began to shift the books around carefully, looking behind the stacks. “This isn’t funny.” 

Logan felt himself beginning to panic the longer he couldn’t find the human. Had someone else come into the room while he was gone? He hadn’t been gone long...but he had been gone long enough.

“Patton, please.” Logan called out, gaze beginning to spread farther than the desk. “I need to know you’re okay, Pat.”

 Patton tried his best to block Logan out but guilt spread through him anyway. But he couldn’t give into it. He had to go for it. For Virgil. Patton pushed off against the leg of the chair and ran to the door.

 He almost slammed into it, he was going so fast but he quickly gained his bearing and looked for a way out.

 It only took a second for Patton to realize there was no way out. There was no room underneath the door and no way for him to open the massive thing. He had never been able to escape. He was still trapped.

Logan shook his head, trying to stay focused. He couldn’t lose Patton. Logan was the one who took care of him, Patton depended on him. Patton was the one who listened and gave surprisingly great advice the way no one else could. Logan needed him more than anyone else in the world.

“Patton, come back.” Logan pleaded, looking underneath the desk now. If Patton was still in here, he couldn’t have gotten far. 

 Patton paused, turning around to see that Logan was looking away from him and underneath the desk. But the way he kept calling out to him was heartbreaking. Maybe...maybe if he showed himself he wouldn’t be punished as much? It wasn’t like there was a way for him to get out of the room anyway. 

 Unless he waited for Logan to leave the room again and then snuck past him. Patton bit his lip, feeling guilty just considering it. He was suddenly at a loss.

Logan looked around at floor level, trying to figure out where Patton would have gone and why he wouldn’t be answering. The bed? The closet? The...the door. Logan’s eyes widened, spotting the human from across the room. 

 Patton’s eyes widened when he realized it was too late. His decision had been made for him. He couldn’t help it as he cowered against the door, looking up at Logan with a mixture of fear and guilt.

“Patton…” Logan slowly got up, walking over to where the human stood. He crouched down, picking up Patton and examining him for injuries. A flood of relief washed over him when Patton looked relatively unharmed.

 Patton shook in the grip and looked down. “I-I’m sorry…” He mumbled, fear overwhelming him.

“Patton’s it’s fine, I just…” Logan paused, sitting down on his bed. It wasn’t fine. This was the first time in over a year that Patton had ever, ever tried to run off. Surely after all this time Patton was happy here...right?

 Patton wasn’t paying much attention to Logan’s words, instead putting in all his effort to apologize. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please don’t...don’t…” A few tears escaped his eyes. This had been a terrible idea. Why did he have to do that, now he’s ruined everything.

“Patton, calm down.” Logan rubbed his arm with his thumb, trying to simultaneously calm Patton and get answers. “Why...why did you do it? Where were you going? What were you thinking?”

 Patton was startled at the touch but ended up leaning into it. “I...I just wanted to see Virgil...make sure he was okay…” He sniffed, still not meeting Logan’s eyes.

“Virgil’s fine.” Logan insisted. “And if you were really this concerned you should have told me.”

 “...You wouldn’t have listened…” Patton said quietly. 

“Why do you think that?” Logan asked, desperate for answers.

 “I don’t know, I just...I...I don’t…” Patton couldn’t even explain himself. “I-I don’t want to wait an entire month...p-probably longer until I can see Virgil again.” Patton managed out.

“Okay, fine, you can see Virgil again.” Logan offered. “We’ll figure something out. Just don’t…” Logan sighed. “Don’t scare me like that, Pat.”

 Patton looked down. “...I’m sorry.” He said, once again.

“Patton…” Logan spoke hesitantly, but after Patton’s episode here he couldn’t let it go unasked. “Are you...happy here?”

 Patton tensed. “Of-Of course!” He stuttered out. “I-I am happy, um, here.” 

“Are you?” Logan pressed. “Or do you just say that because you think that’s what I want to hear?”

 Patton lowered his head. “I...I don’t know…I don’t know anymore.”

“Patton, do you know you’re safe here?” Logan felt his heart breaking at Patton’s answers. “I’m not going to hurt you for speaking up or...or having an opinion.”

 “Of course I know that!” Patton exclaimed but he said the next part quieter. “Y-your punishments have never been...you’ve never physically hurt me. I-and I do feel safe, with you.” Patton explained. He never feared that Logan would hurt him, not anymore.

“Patton.” Logan looked down at the human with a focused expression. “I’m going to ask you a question, and I need an honest answer.”

 Patton inhaled sharply but nodded. “O-Okay.”

“If you were given the choice, would you want to go back?” Logan asked.

 Patton’s eyes widened. “Back...Back to my world?” Patton bit his lip. He was...at a loss. Did he want to leave this place? Yes. Did he want to leave Logan? ...No, he didn’t. Logan had been with him throughout this whole thing. He knows Logan cares about him and he cares about Logan. 

 “I don’t want to leave you.” Patton said, voice barely above a whisper. What would Virgil say about that? He wondered briefly.

“That’s not what I asked.” Logan’s gaze became pitiful. He certainly shared Patton’s mindset, but he certainly didn’t want to be the reason Patton stayed trapped and miserable if he didn’t want to be here.

 Patton deflated and he looked down. “...No.”

“You wouldn’t go back?” Logan clarified. “You’d stay here? And...you would be happy?”

 Patton nodded. “Yes. I’m sorry that I tried to ‘escape’ but I just wanted to see Virgil again. I am happy here, with you.” Patton gave Logan a small smile.

“...okay.” Logan gave a sigh of relief. “Okay, I just had to be sure.” Logan held Patton close to his chest. “I need you to be happy. Even if that had meant you leaving.”

 Patton snuggled closer into Logan’s chest. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he knew Virgil wouldn’t be happy about this. But at the moment, he didn’t care.

***

 Honestly, Roman hadn’t been paying much attention when Picani had been talking. Which, he was sure Logan would be mad at and it would definitely come back to bite him later but he couldn’t stop thinking about what Virgil had told him.

 And how Roman couldn’t deny things any longer. 

 With a sigh, he pushed his door open and immediately went to sit down at his desk, putting his head down his arms.

Virgil glanced over, noticing the way Roman was slumped over. “Uh, you okay?”

 Roman sighed and blindly reached over to open the cage. He then looked up at the human. “Virgil, I’ve been going over what you said before I left and I have...realized a few things.” Roman revealed.

“You have?” Virgil raised his eyebrows slightly, Roman having certainly gained his interest as he walked closer.

 “Yes. The first thing being I really do not want you to leave.” Roman sighed. He enjoyed Virgil’s company immensely after all. 

“...oh.” Virgil slumped against the cage door. “So you learned nothing.”

 Roman winced and sat up straight. “Wait, you haven’t let me finish!” Okay, maybe he shouldn’t have started off with that. Or, at the very least he shouldn’t have paused afterwords. “Yes, I don’t want you to leave but I...I also care about you. I care about your happiness and you very clearly aren’t happy here.”

“Yeah, obviously.” Virgil scoffed. “I’ve been saying that almost constantly.”

 “Yes and I...should have listened more.” Roman sighed and looked away. “Which brings me to the most important point I’ve realized tonight.” Roman looked Virgil in the eye for this part.

 “You are a person and I am...sorry, that I didn’t see that sooner.”

Virgil stared Roman down in disbelief. “What? It took you this long to realize that?”

 “Yes, yes and I realize how bad that is. Honestly, I am truly ashamed.” Roman admitted. “And we took you from your home. I put myself in your shoes for a moment and...and that is absolutely terrible. It’s no wonder you’ve been acting like this this whole time. You had every right.”

“...thanks.” Virgil said honestly. It was hard, trying to stay himself when everyone around him kept trying to push him down and make him obedient. “So what are you gonna do about it?”

 “I will do everything in my power to bring you home.” Roman promised. “...That being said, only the king has the authority to send you back, so not only do we have to wait for the coronation but we also have to convince Logan that this is the right thing to do.”

“Wait, what?” Virgil could hardly believe he might actually have a chance at going home. Of course...if his chance depended on Logan, it might be difficult. Maybe Patton could convince him. “When’s the coronation? Why do we have to convince Logan?”

 “It’s in a couple of days. And, well, Logan might be easier to convince to let you go...but I assumed you wanted Pat out of here as well. And that...that might take a little more convincing.” Roman winced, wondering how hard that was going to be.

“Couple days? I thought it was like a year.” Virgil grinned, eager that his chance would come so soon. “This is perfect! You can convince your brother about me, and then we can just...sneak Patton out too, right? It can’t be that hard.”

 “It...it might be harder than you think. If Logan found out that Patton was missing he would probably tear apart the whole castle for him. Not only that but we also have to get past Dee. And Dee doesn’t listen to anyone other than the king.” Roman had tried in the past to give him commands, but Dee would never have it. Only his father could and hopefully, now Logan.

“Okay...well, I convinced you. Finally.” Virgil muttered that last bit to himself. “I’m sure you, me and Patton would surely be enough to convince Logan.”

 “We can only hope.” Roman said, running a hand through his hair. “In the meantime, we’re going to have to do a bit of waiting. I’m not even sure if we’ll have time to speak to Logan before the coronation, he’s just been so busy.”

“Well how are we going to convince him then?” Virgil pressed, not wanting his chance to slip away. “I mean, he must have some free time. He has to sleep, doesn’t he?”

 “Try telling Logan that.” Roman deadpanned. “He stays up way too late as it is. But with this schedule, I think he’s only getting an hour or two.”

“An hour’s all we need.” Virgil insisted.

 “Okay, I’ll try to set something up before the coronation but I’m just warning you that it may not happen. Okay?” Roman said, leaning back in his chair. 

“Well, if it doesn’t happen then I’m definitely calling you a wuss.” Virgil explained. “Because it definitely can happen and I don’t want to put it off.”

 “Right, of course.” Roman said, biting his lip. “In fact, we can go check right now? If you want?” Roman asked, already offering his hand to Virgil.

“Perfect.” Virgil smiled, glad to see Roman was cooperating. He stood there for a moment, contemplating the hand offered before him. Strange. That horrible, sinking feeling Virgil felt before when faced with this dilemma had been qualmed. Virgil was still terrified, of course, of all that power hidden within a person’s fingers...but Roman was helping him now. If they were truly on the same side, Virgil had to meet him halfway and put some trust into Roman as well.

Taking a small breath, Virgil climbed into Roman’s hand. 

 Roman smiled and started heading down the hall. “I also thought about what you said about Patton.” Roman said, looking down at Virgil in his hands. “...You really think he’s been brainwashed?”

“A little bit.” Virgil nodded. “I mean, I convinced him to go home, but he’s definitely adapted to all this to survive.”

 Roman hummed. “But he will want to go back with you, right? It’s just, I don’t think he’s ever mentioned anything about going home before. Not even when Logan first got him.” Of course, Roman barely saw him but he was sure of it. Logan would have said something.

“Well, did you ask him?” Virgil gave Roman a look.

 “Who? Logan or Patton?” Roman asked, raising an eyebrow at the human. 

“Well I meant Patton, but I guess both.” Virgil said after considering the giant’s question.

 “Um, well, no.” Roman admitted. “But I guess we’ll find out.” Roman said coming to the door. He took a deep breath and opened it. “Logan?” He called out, walking into the room.

 But Logan wasn’t there. “Weird, he usually locks the door if he isn’t in here…” Roman muttered.

 Patton’s head snapped towards the door when it opened and his eyes widened when he saw Roman and… “Virgil!”

“Hey Patton!” Virgil waved, throwing Patton a smile.

 Roman smiled and let Virgil off on the desk before reaching over and opening the cage for Patton. Patton immediately ran out to hug Virgil. “Are you okay? What are you doing here?” Patton asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Virgil returned the hug, appreciating the human contact. “We were looking for Logan actually though, where is he?”

 “Oh, he had to go back to his duties. He’s becoming king sooner than he thought.” Patton exclaimed. Roman sighed.

 “Of course. I told you Virgil.” Roman looked down at the human.

“Well that doesn’t mean we shouldn't try.” Virgil insisted. “We can just wait here until he comes back.”

 “Uh...well, we’re going to be waiting a while then.” Patton said, biting his lip. “Like, well into the evening.” 

 Roman sighed. “Maybe we should just come back later.” Patton blinked and looked between the giant and the human.

 “What are you guys doing here, anyway?” Patton asked. 

“We need to convince Logan to let you go.” Virgil explained, taking up Patton’s hands. “Roman finally came to his senses. Now that Logan is going to be king, all we have to do is convince him and then we can both be sent home!”

 Patton’s eyes widened and he stared down at both of their hands. He bit his lip. “Um...but...what if I don’t want to go back?” Patton asked, not meeting Virgil’s eyes.

 Roman’s eyes widened. “Wait, what?” Did that mean he had been right?

“Patton, you don’t mean that.” Virgil’s smile faded slightly. “C’mon, look at me. We were going back together, remember? You don’t need Logan, we’ve got each other.”

 “I-I know but it’s just...I can’t just leave Logan. He’s….We care about each other too much.” Patton explained, only glancing up at Virgil’s face for a second before looking back down.

 Roman winced at Patton’s words. Now that his eyes were opened to this whole thing he couldn’t believe he had ever wanted Virgil to turn out like Patton. This was just...sad.

“Logan doesn’t care about you.” Virgil’s grip on Patton’s hands tightened. “He’s just made you think that. If he really cared about you he wouldn’t keep you locked in a cage still. Logan doesn’t trust you, he just sees you as a cute obedient chihuahua.”

 Patton started to shake. “That’s-That’s not true. You don’t know him like I do.”

“I don’t want to know him like you do.” Virgil shook his head. “I bet he seems real nice to you but that’s just because he hasn’t been ‘as bad’ as possible. Logan’s still kept you captive for over a year, he punishes you, trains you to do stupid tricks, and is the reason you were ripped away from Earth.”

 Patton felt the need to defend Logan. “He hasn’t punished me in months! And he’s never hurt me and maybe I’m better here than on Earth! At least here I have someone who cares about me!” Patton shouted, tears rolling down his face.

 Roman’s eyes widened and he was at a loss of what to do. He couldn’t really say anything about Logan on either end, since he wasn’t really there.

“Patton, I care about you.” Virgil insisted, looking at Patton pleadingly. “Logan doesn’t, and even if he did he’s just one person. No one else here cares, but on Earth lots of people will care about you. I’m sure of it.” Virgil wasn’t sure of most things, but he knew with such a positive personality Patton had to make friends easily. Or at the very least people would care about him sympathetically after learning his story (or a version of it).

 Patton couldn’t meet Virgil’s eyes. “He...He does care about me. I don’t care what you say, he does.” 

 Roman sighed. “Look, I don’t mean to make things worse by saying this but I really do think that Logan cares about him. Is it really so hard to believe? I mean, I care about you. And, I mean, I care about Patton too.” He might not have known Patton that well but that didn’t matter to him.

“Roman, you’re biased.” Virgil waved him away, sending the giant a glare. “And you’re certainly not helping.”

 Roman was about to say something else, when there was a knock on the door. “Um...Prince Roman? Are you in there?” Roman heard a servant say and he blinked.

 “Oh, uh, yes! I am!” He called out before going to the door and opening it to see the serving girl.

 “Picani asked me to inform you that you need to get started on your duties.” The servant said and Roman sighed.

 “Right, of course. Uh…” He turned back to look at the humans. “Tell them I will be right there.” The girl nodded and walked away. Roman closed the door and went over to the humans.

 “Okay, so I gotta get going.” Roman bit his lip and looked down at Virgil. “Virgil? What are you thinking? Do you want to come with me or…?”

“I’ll stay here.” Virgil answered, keeping his eyes on Patton. Even if he couldn’t convince Patton, at least he could keep his fellow human company. It was certainly more appealing than sitting in a cage alone. 

 Patton was happy that Virgil would stay with him, despite everything he was saying. It would be nice to actually have some company. Especially with Logan being gone for so long nowadays. Knowing what was to come, Patton was already going back in the cage.

 Roman paused for a moment to watch Patton do this. He frowned. Not too long ago he wanted Virgil to do that. But now...now it gave Roman this guilty feeling that he didn’t like. He looked down at Virgil. “...You won’t try anything if I don’t lock you guys in the cage, right?”

Virgil took a moment to truly consider it. Of course, it’d be an ideal time to escape, especially since Patton would be right here with him. But Roman was right, without magic Virgil wouldn’t be getting home on his own. Maybe it would be best to lay low and cooperate, wait to see if this plan worked out.

“No.” Virgil assured him, taking a step further from the entrance of the cage. He certainly didn’t want to be locked in a cage in a less familiar giant’s room. “But I certainly will try something if you do try and lock me up.”

 Roman smirked. “Of course. Alright then, I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Hopefully before Logan. Before he could dwell on it, he headed out.

[dragon-writes-sometimes]

"It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year" Or So The Song Goes...

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Characters: Patton, Virgil, Logan, Emile Picani, Remy/Sleep

Ships: Parental Remile, Analogical - Brotherly, Platonic Moxiety

Trigger Warnings: Vent fic, bad parenting, parents fighting, angst, starvation, christmas angst, running away from home, being kicked out of your home - mentioned, insecurity, self-blame, parental manipulation, physical abuse - mentioned, verbal abuse - mentioned, self-hatred, low self-esteem, self-deprecation, self-deprecating thoughts, bit of swearing, if you squint you can see signs of touch-starvation.

Summary: Christmas is supposed to be a time for celebration and joy, yet Patton has experienced none of that. Ever.

Word Count: 4026

AO3

A/N: This is a vent fic. Most of the experiences Patton has had with his parents in this are my own. I may have exaggerated their fighting and the expectations (they could never make me be someone I'm not), but otherwise, it's all me. I'm so sorry, Patton.

Please tell me if I need to tag anything else! Many different things can be triggering for people, and I may also have missed something. 

"It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year" Or So The Song Goes...

“Patton is the most cheery guy you’ll ever meet.” That's how everyone would describe him. Whether you’ve known him for years or just met him. That’s who Patton wants to be. The most cheery person. Someone you can trust. Someone always in a good mood, always willing to listen and help. Because that’s who his parents want him to be. The one they can show off. “Oh look, here’s our little ray of sunshine!”

But truth be told, Patton was not. His smile was rarely real. He was expected to be the one to stay positive in every situation. And that wasn’t easy when all your family did was fight and yell and take their problems out on you.

Underneath his smile and façade, was a tired 18-year-old boy. Someone who dreaded Christmas. Someone who could barely hold in his tears in front of his parents and friends. Someone who closed himself off from everyone and everything when his bad emotions became too much. Someone who right now stood in the middle of a fight between his parents.

Patton didn’t process what was being said. He just knew it was going to be turned towards him sooner or later and become his fault. It always turned out that way. If only they weren’t paying for his college degree, then he’d run away and live with his best friend, Virgil. That didn’t actually sound like such a bad idea right about now.

Christmas was a very stressful time for Patton. It always had been. Sure, it was stressful for him almost every single day, but Christmas was even worse. His family didn’t have much money, so they had to make do with what little they had. And that affected the mood of everyone living in his household. Himself included, even though he wasn’t allowed to show it. The one time he had, his parents made him regret it. That’s when he learned that they only wanted a sunshine child who was only to be seen, not heard.

As predicted, his parents’ argument ended with Patton getting the blame once again and being sent to his room without dinner. He didn’t even know what it was about. As soon as he closed the door to his room, he reached for his phone. This was getting too much for Patton to handle. He needed out for good this time. And there was only one person he could trust. Virgil. They’d been best friends since high school.

Virgil had told him time and again to get out of there. It was too toxic an environment for Patton to live in. And he was right. But his parents had needed him. He owed it to his parents to help them out. Even after the times, his mother had kicked him out of the house for the rest of the day on freezing cold days in almost no clothes, because he forgot to do a chore before they came home. He got bruises from it too.

Patton held his phone closed to him. He really wanted to call Virgil. Really wanted Virgil to come and get him. Wanted to run away with Virgil and never return to this hell-hole. Patton unlocked his phone but looked passed it. His eyes fell on Virgil’s present. He’d worked hard on it. Worked hard to get the needed parts to make it. He could make this his excuse for calling Virgil? Yeah, and tell him to meet at the park.

His hands were shaking as he scrolled through his contacts and found the one he knew by heart. He hesitated, though. What if Virgil didn’t want to meet up with him? What if he told Patton to just get on with telling his parents off? What if? What if? Wait. Wasn’t Patton always the one helping Virgil when his thoughts spiralled? And what was it Logan had called it again? Cognitive distortions? Virgil was lucky to have a brother like that. A brother who could, and would without a second thought, help you no matter what. Patton was ashamed to admit that he was a bit jealous of Virgil in that aspect. But you make do with what you have. And what Patton had, was two parents who hated each other and himself.

He shook his head. He needed to call Virgil. And call Virgil he did. The phone rang. And rang. And rang. Patton was about to just hang up when the phone was answered.

“Patton? It’s 2 am. What are you doing calling this late?” A pause. “Are you okay? Do you need me to pick you up? Are they fighting again?!” Virgil’s voice was getting more frantic. He was working himself into a panic. That would not do. He couldn’t let Virgil have a panic attack because of him. It was bad enough that he was the reason his parents were fighting, he wouldn’t hurt his best friends as well.

“I’m fine, Virgil. Promise.” His voice was soft and practised. “I just- I realised I forgot to give you your present last time we met up. I thought I could give it to you now?”

There was some shuffling in the background. Probably Virgil trying to get Anastacia off of him. That dog was very clingy when she was tired. “And that’s all? You’d tell me if something else was up, right?” Virgil sounded very sceptical.

“Of course, Vee.” Patton’s voice wavered. “Always. I was thinking we could meet up at the park? In about… twenty minutes?”

 “…sure. Hey, why don’t you come crash at my place? My folks won’t care. They’d love to have you over… even though it’s in the middle of the night.”

Patton was sure Virgil knew he didn’t call just because of the gift. It didn’t matter. Virgil had invited him over, and Patton wasn’t going to let Virgil down. “Okay, Vee. Love you.”

 “Love you too, Pat. See you in twenty minutes.”

Patton quickly found a bag and clothes and other necessities to pack. He made sure there was room for Virgil’s gift on top, it shouldn’t do if it got crinkled. He lingered a bit in his doorway. Was he really going to do this? Run away from his parents? Sure, he was 18 years now, but that still didn’t really change anything. He sighed. It was now or never, and Virgil was waiting for him.

He opened his door very carefully. It sometimes creaked when it was opened, but you could never know when it would, as it wasn’t all the time. Luckily, it didn’t this time, and Patton slowly stepped into the hallway. They lived in a two-story building. His room was upstairs, so he had to be extra careful when walking downstairs since the wooded floor creaked oh-so loudly all the time.

He tippytoed downstairs, making sure to avoid all the placed the floor creaked the loudest. Finally, he was at the door. He pulled his warmest outdoor clothes on before carefully unlocking the door and heading out. Then he started walking. Walking and walking and walking. It felt like he was walking for an eternity.

He looked at his clock. It was 2:34 am. Oh no, he was late! He hoped that Virgil would stay and not think Patton was just pulling his leg. He started running. The cold was beginning to get to him. It hurt. Please be there still, Virgil!

Finally, Patton arrived at the park. It was now 2:43 am. He looked around. And sighed. Virgil wasn’t there. Of course, he wasn’t there. Patton was late. Why should he wait around for Patton when he couldn’t be there on time? He sat down at the nearest bench. And cried. The dam was broken. He cried and cried and cried. Cried more than he ever had in years. Why couldn’t he just be what his parents wanted him to be? Why did he have to be so goddamn broken?!

He didn’t know how long he sat there, but it felt like forever. And just as he was about to just go back, a warm hand was gently placed on his knee. And then a gently and all too familiar voice spoke. “Oh Patty, what did they do to you? I’m here.” It was Virgil. And at that, Patton broke completely and flung himself at Virgil, not even bothering looking up, because he knew Virgil would catch him.

“I’m sorry! I’m s-so sorry! I- I didn’t know what else to do or where to go! I don’t wanna be there anymore!” Patton sobbed. He sobbed his heart out in Virgil’s chest. Let Virgil know that he couldn’t keep up the façade.

“Hey, shh, it’s alright. I’m here, Pat. I’m here,” Virgil soothed, running a gentle hand up and down Patton’s back. “I thought this was more than just a present, so I let Pa and Dad know you’re coming home. It’s okay.”

Patton was so relieved that Virgil was as smart as he was. He let himself be lead into Virgil’s car, the warmth flooding him. It was so nice.

They drove in silence, Patton falling asleep halfway home to Virgil. How did he get so lucky and get such a wonderful best friend?

He was gently woken up by Virgil after they arrived. “We’re here, Pat. Let’s get you inside. It’s pretty cold out, and you look like you haven’t eaten or drank anything for a while.” Patton didn’t reply, just let Virgil guide him once more. “There we go. Into the warmth.”

Patton opened his eyes blearily when he was met with the familiar scent of Virgil’s home. Virgil still had his arms around him, so he snuggled closer. He really didn’t want Virgil to let go of him just yet. “Mmm, you’re s’ warm,” Patton mumbled. That earned a small, almost nonexistent laugh out of Virgil.

“Yeah, but let’s get you out of that clothes and into the blankets on the couch, okay?” Virgil smiled at him.

“M’kay. If you insist. B’ can we sn’ggle after?” Patton shifted a bit as Virgil helped him out of his jacket and shoes.

Virgil breathed a small laugh. “Of course!”

After they’d finally settled on the couch, two pairs of footsteps could be heard. Patton was too tired to even look at who it was.

“Hey, hon. How you feelin’?” Remy. One of Virgil’s dads. He was answered with silence. He was too tired. “That tired, huh? Well, it won’t do that you sleep on the couch. Virgil can take you to his room for you two to continue snuggling.” And just like that, someone picked him up. Patton let out a tiny yelp, but other than that, he gave no reaction.

Next thing he knew, he was layn in a warm and soft bed with Virgil snuggling close to him again. And they fell asleep like that.

Next morning, Patton woke up to someone carding their fingers gently through his hair. And Patton was so content with that. If he were a cat, he would’ve started purring loudly. Instead, his stomach grumbled. Very loudly. The carding fingers stopped.

“Morning, Pat. Sleep well?” Virgil whispered. Virgil. Virgil was the one carding his fingers through his hair. Please don’t stop! As though sensing his thoughts, Virgil started again. Oh, Patton was so content. And to answer his question, Patton snuggled closer to Virgil. That got a small laugh out of him. “Come on, sleepyhead. Dad made breakfast. And from the way, your stomach just growled, you need food real bad, and pronto.”

Patton sighed. He knew Virgil was going to bring it up from last night. Well, this morning, really. “What time’s ‘t?” he asked sleepily.

“It’s almost 11 o’clock. So I guess it’s technically brunch Dad made.” Virgil huffs out a laugh. “Neither of us wanted to wake you up after last night. Did you even sleep at all before calling me?”

Patton sheepishly shook his head. He hadn’t even realised he’d called that late. He must’ve been so caught up in his thoughts that hours seemed like seconds. Virgil hugged him tighter. “I’m so sorry, Patton. Sorry I couldn’t have been there for you sooner. But you’re here now, and I’m not letting you go back there!” Virgil said fiercely. Oh, how Patton loved Virgil. Always there for him. How could he have doubted him for even a second? Patton was such a lousy friend for doing that.

“Thanks, Vee. You have no idea how much this means to me. But I can’t stay. You know that. They are paying for my college degree. They’ll pull the money if I leave for good,” Patton sighed.

“Excuse me, but I couldn’t help but overhear,” came a voice from the doorway. “But if they do that, we’ll be more than happy to pay. It’s no problem, Patton.”

“Hey, Dad.” Oh. It was Emile. “Is Logan up?” A pause. “Good, I think he might be able to help us with Patton,” Virgil responded to the most likely nod he got from Emile.

They got out of bed and went downstairs a few minutes later. Patton’s growling stomach got too much for him to handle. And downstairs sat Virgil’s parents, Remy and Emile, and Virgil’s older brother, Logan. At the table was so much food, Patton didn’t know what to think.

“Merry Christmas, Patton. Welcome to the family,” Virgil said gently, never once letting go of his hand. They sat down and started to eat.

“Wow, slow down there, babes. You’re gonna get a stomachache if you don’t,” Remy warned as Patton basically swallowed the food. “When was the last time you ate, hon?”

Patton swallowed. He really didn’t want to answer that. But he had to. He could feel Virgil’s hand in his give a comforting squeeze. He could feel Logan’s gaze on him. “I- I don’t remember. Maybe dinner, the day before yesterday?” The room got quiet.

“You didn’t eat at all yesterday?” Emile then quietly asked. Patton shook his head.

“Patton. If your parents were starving you, why didn’t you call for us? You know this isn’t healthy,” Logan gently joined the conversation. He was a med student, so Patton usually always listened to him.

Patton shrugged and poked to some eggs with his fork. “Dunno.”

“Hey, it’s okay, Patton. You’re here now. I’m not letting you go back to them. Ever!” Virgil squeezed Patton’s hand and gave him a comforting smile. Patton smiled back and mouthed ‘thanks’.

Bruch lasted for another twenty minutes, all of them quietly talking about anything and everything, but avoiding the topic of Patton’s home, for which he was grateful.

Around noon, everyone was snuggled up in the living room laughing and munching cookies and drinking hot chocolate. The family exchanged gifts, Patton watching in joy. He always loved watching people give presents to others. They got such a child-like and giddy look on their faces. That made Patton sad again. His parents never once appreciated anything he made for them. He never got to see that look on their faces, either. And they hadn’t called or texted. They’d given no sign that they knew Patton wasn’t home, given no indication that they knew he was missing.

Virgil noticed, of course. He was very observant of other people. He gently squeezed the hand he still hadn’t let go of since they woke up. “Hey, got you a gift, ya know. Let me just get it,” Virgil whispered in Patton’s hair. He kissed it before letting go of Patton’s hand to retrieve it from his room.

He wasn’t gone long, but to Patton, it felt like forever. Emile, in the meantime, had come and taken Virgil’s place and had started carding his fingers through Patton’s hair now.

Patton heard a shuffling noise from the kitchen and turned around a smidge. There stood Virgil, a rather large, and soft-looking, present in his hand. “Logan- Logan helped me with this, so if you hate it, blame it on him.” Logan gave a small huff and mumbled something along the lines of “he won’t hate it, and if he does, you drew the sketch” and Patton had no idea what they were talking about.

“Huh? I’m positive I won’t hate it! You made it, after all, Vee,” Patton smiled at him, a sincere one. Virgil gave him a smile in return and shuffled over to the couch to give it to Patton.

“Move, Dad. Patton’s mine!” Virgil chuckled as he gave the present to Patton.

Patton carefully opened it. It was rare for him to get presents, so he savoured the feeling of unwrapping it. And what Patton unwrapped had him in awe and tears. He slowly took out the fabric inside the plastic wrap and held it up. It was a cat hoodie! With a pouch, it seemed! This was beautiful!

“I- uh- I made it myself. With Logan’s help. Do you- do you like it?” Virgil asked, getting very insecure and self-conscious. That would not do! This was a wonderful present! The best he’d ever gotten!

“Like it? Virgil, I LOVE IT!” Patton basically cooed, while hugging the hoodie close to him. “You made this?! It’s incredible! It’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten,” Patton quietly added. And Virgil beamed. How could Patton resist? He flung himself into a bone-crushing hug at Virgil. “Thank you SO much, Vee,” he mumbled into Virgil’s shoulder.

“I’m thrilled you like it, Pat. But maybe check inside the pouch?” Virgil laughed, a tear falling from his eye at indirectly learning that this might be the first time Patton’s gotten a decent gift for once.

Patton immediately let go of Virgil to do as he said. He looked inside the pouch, and there was a cat plushy! Homemade, from the looks of it! Black and grey, with one purple eye and one baby-blue eye! It was adorable! And Patton loved it! He hugged it tightly and started quietly crying. “This is so nice of you, Virgil. It’s so adorable!” Patton sniffed.

“I thought about what you said, back when we first met. You know, about your favourite animals being cats but you being allergic to them? I thought this was as close I could get to actually giving you one,” Virgil said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. Patton looked up at him with teary eyes. Oh, Virgil was never letting Patton go back to his parents.

“Thank you SO MUCH, Virgil,” Patton whispered, pouring all his emotions into those five words, before hugging Virgil again. “I’m gonna name her Shadow.”

Virgil reciprocated the hug before whispering in Patton’s ear: “You’re very welcome, Patton. Anything for you. You deserve to be happy.”

Patton, all of a sudden, reared back. Virgil was confused but started thinking he’d said something wrong. “I totally forgot all about your present! Where’s my bag? I’ll be right back!” Patton exclaimed after Remy pointed in the direction of his bag, sprinting to retrieve it.

And right back Patton was. He’d been careful with handling the bag, but he was very giddy about Virgil opening it. But also very nervous. He handed it to Virgil before sitting back down next to him, barely able to contain his excitement and dread. Because, what if Virgil hated it? What if-

A hand landed softly on his shoulder. Patton looked over to look into Logan’s dark blue eyes. “Breathe with me, Patton. 4-7-8. There’s no need to be concerned. Let’s get your mind steered away from the cognitive distortions, shall we?” Logan spoke softly. Patton nodded. Logan was kind. He was good at this.

After a few breathing rounds, Patton felt much better and signalled this to Virgil. Virgil then proceeded to carefully open Patton’s gift. His eyes went comically big. “This is- I- you made this?!” Virgil exclaimed, at a loss for other words. He was in awe. In front of him laid a black hoodie with lots of purple plaid patches scattered around. The cuffs had zippers sewn into them so, they were easier to put on.

“Yeah. I know how you loved that other hoodie. You were so sad when it got ruined for good by those bullies. I thought I’d make you a new one, but one that matches you better than the black and grey one. Looks like we had the same gifts ideas,” Patton chuckled. “Do you like it?”

“Yes, Patton! I love it!” Now it was Virgil’s turn to tackle hug Patton. “And you made it yourself! This must have taken forever!”

Patton returned the hug in full. Tears of happiness that Virgil liked his gift rolled down his cheeks. “It did. I had to work a lot to save up the money I needed to get the fabrics and make sure mom and dad didn’t find any of them. But it was worth it! Don’t even start with saying it’s not worth me saving up my money, mister! Because you are!”

The two best friends stayed that way for a long time before separating to put on their new hoodies. They cuddled up on the couch after that, Patton in between Virgil and Logan. He was very content. He would never give this up for anything!

They talked for what seemed like hours before settling on watching movies. All was peaceful and tranquil. Patton hoped it would never end.

But of course, all good times must come to an end. Patton's phone chimed. The only other people who would call him was in the room with Patton. So it could only mean that it was his parents calling. The air got eerie quiet. Nobody moved a muscle. In the end, Emile picked it up. “Hello?”

“PATTON! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?! GET BACK HERE, RIGHT NOW!!” someone shouted on the other end. Emile winched.

“I’m afraid this is Emile Picani you’re speaking with. Not. Patton.” Emile’s voice had a forced cheeriness to it. “How may I help you?”

Shuffling. “Where is our son, Picani?” a female voice said. Patton could clearly hear the ice in her voice and see the scowl on her face. His mother was not a very nice person.

“He’s staying with us. He called Virgil during the night and wanted to exchange gifts. Time got out of hand.”

“Well. Isn’t that just great? Thank you for finding him, but please tell him to come home immediately.” Her voice was devoid of any kind of emotions now. The only thing you could detect was the ice.

“I’m afraid Patton told us he didn’t want to. And since he’s 18, he’s legally an adult and can, therefore, make such decisions on his own. Contact the police, and they will tell you the same. And I will inform them that you have been starving him. Is. That. Clear?” No one in the household had ever heard such a tone of voice come out of Emile Picani’s mouth.

The line on the other end went quiet. “Fine. Keep the brat. He’s no good anyway. We’re cutting off his college fonds. See how well you like him now.” The line cut off. The house was silent.

“What a pleasant woman. Well. It’s settled. You’re staying with us, Patton. For good,” Emile smiled. Patton hugged Emile close when he came over. “They should never have been allowed to become parents if they didn’t even have decent humanity encoded in their bones. I can’t even tell they are your parents, Patton. You are one of the most amazing human beings on this planet! Never change.” Emile kissed Patton’s hair before releasing him from the hug and going back to snuggle with Remy “And don’t worry about college. We’ll pay. It’s no problem.” Patton went back to receiving cuddles from Virgil and Logan. They were his new family. And they would never leave. Never harm him on purpose. Never force him to be anything he wasn’t.

Patton usually dreaded Christmas. But from this Christmas and forward, he might come to look forward to it. “Thank you, Virgil,” Patton whispered before dozing off. They’d need to return to get his things, but for now, he would cuddle.

Endnotes: Hey there. So, how'd you like that? It got a bit out of hand at the end... heh.

And yeah, before the dialogue began, that was all my experiences with my parents. The fighting was exaggerated, and I didn't have anyone to turn to for help, or telling me to get away. I'm still here. Not gonna move away before University. Still about a year and a half for that. I also don't have the economy to move away just yet. Also, haven't really told anyone about this... Let's just say I wasn't exactly looking forward to Christmas this year... or ever.

Also, someone PLEASE!!! Draw that cat plushie!! Because I can't for the life of me do it!! You get to experiment with how it looks, it just has to be black and grey with one purple and one baby-blue eye!! It has to be roughly the size of a young-adult cat and be cute as heck!!

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Seventy

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

August 27th, 2000

Emile was trying not to bounce around looking at everything on campus, but he couldn’t deny the spring in his step. He was so excited to be around a real college, that he was going to be attending! He was looking forward to this more than words could say, honestly.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw another tour group, and noticed one of the guys in it trudging along at the back of the group. Emile inwardly frowned. He had seen this guy around campus a couple times, and every time he looked like he would rather be anywhere else.

Emile resolved to say hi to him at some point. After all, everyone needed at least one friend, and this guy looked like he didn’t have any yet.

  August 26th, 2002

Emile led the wide-eyed freshman around the campus with a small smile. All of them were so excitable, chattering about the possibilities of no longer living with their parents, of being able to meet new friends, of getting jobs and being adults. The freshmen were allowed to wander the campus for a bit, and Emile sat down on one of the benches with a sigh. Hesitantly, one of the freshmen from another group approached him. “Uh...sorry to bother you, are you Emile?”

“Yeah, that’s me,” he said, offering a tired grin. “Completely exhausted and certifiably insane, according to my boyfriend.”

“Oh. Um, I can go if you want a break...”

“Nah, it’s okay, sit down,” Emile sat, patting the bench beside him. “What’s eating at you?”

The kid sat down, fiddled with his hands, staring at his lap, then, he looked at Emile and blurted, “I’m not sure if I want to go to college.”

Emile nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay?” the kid asked. “Everyone I told before just...laughed.”

“I’m not everyone,�� Emile said simply. “You’re part of Clara’s group, aren’t you?”

“Uh, yeah. She said I should talk to you about this because of your boyfriend. Um. He’s not part of the freshman orientation, is he?”

Emile laughed. “No!” he exclaimed. “Remy dropped out of college his freshman year and never looked back.”

“Oh,” the kid said. “He doesn’t...regret it?”

“No,” Emile said. “College just wasn’t for him. And that’s perfectly okay for anyone. Granted, he doesn’t talk to his parents anymore, but that’s an entirely different layer of complicated.”

“My parents...they’re kinda overbearing,” the kid said with a grimace. “They didn’t like any of the majors I might have been interested in. They made me choose pre-med. I would have rather gone with English, if I went with anything at all. I know there’s not a lot of jobs for English majors...but I’m not sure about college, period. And I would want to learn what I wanted to learn about.”

Emile nodded. “Makes sense. I’m sorry your parents are like that.”

“Eh. I mean, fourteen years of school later and I have a PhD and no reason to talk to them anymore,” the kid said with a weak smile. “But I don’t want to be here. I don’t like it. I just...I would rather have a minimum wage job for the rest of my life. I could live through retail, and like...maybe I wouldn’t make the most money, but I could do something, you know?”

“Yeah,” Emile said with a nod. “That’s what my boyfriend is doing. Two minimum wage jobs and I work a third, so we get the bills paid and we have food on the table.”

The kid blew out a breath. “I’m jealous,” he said with a weak laugh.

“What’s your name?” Emile asked.

“Darren,” the kid said.

“Darren, I’m going to tell you a secret,” Emile said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You can change your major to whatever you want, and your parents don’t have a say. They don’t need to sign off on it. You’re an adult, you can do it all on your own. Now, I wouldn’t recommend dropping out of college just yet, because if you can get through it without harm, it can help you. But if you really would rather work retail, maybe get a Communications or a Business degree. Those could help you become a manager someplace. Get a job, get your foot in the door, and work your way up the corporate ladder, you know?”

Darren nodded slowly. “I guess...” he said reluctantly. “What if I burn out, though? I’ve already done so much school, more just seems overwhelming...”

“If you burn out you’re under no obligation to continue,” Emile said. “But I of course have to tell you to give it a shot first, if for no other reason than because I’m currently promoting the college.” Darren laughed at that. “Did that answer some of your questions?”

“Yeah,” Darren said, giving him a relieved smile. “College isn’t the only way to go. You know, I think I’m gonna change my major when school starts. And after that, I’ll call my parents and explain. Maybe if they hear how I feel directly from me, they’ll change their mind. In all honesty, I think I could be happiest at a trade school. Maybe they could help me with that.”

“I hope so,” Emile said with a smile. “And if not, you can do it on your own. It won’t be easy, but you can.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Emile,” Darren said, standing.

“Of course!” Emile chirped. “If you ever want to talk more, Clara has an uncanny sense of where I might be at any given time. She can find me.”

Darren laughed with a nod and walked away, a small, hopeful smile on his face.

“You didn’t tell me you’re already a therapist, Emile,” Remy said from behind him.

“I’m not. I’m just a good listener. I listen to what you say and I listen to what he says, and then I use what you’ve told me to talk to him,” Emile said, looking back over the bench with a smile. “What’s up?”

“Just checking on you. Seeing how you’re faring with the gremlins,” Remy said with a grin as he leaned on the back of the bench.

“We were those gremlins not so long ago,” Emile reminded him.

“Ugh, I know. Definitely not my finest moments,” Remy said with an exaggerated shudder and eye-roll.

Emile laughed and Remy rounded the bench to sit with him. “So, how’s everything, mio amore? Are you attacked with nostalgia or are you cringing at the thought that you were bouncier than most of these freshmen?”

“Nostalgia, I guess, although I don’t really get either of those,” Emile said. “I’m more...astounded. Like, these kids are going to be going out into the world on their own in four years, possibly sooner. Looking back on what we did, I’m shocked that we could achieve that. You’re eighteen, nineteen years old, you know you’re not invincible but you still feel like you have a grip on everything, like you understand the world enough to do things on your own...and now we’re sitting here, twenty and twenty one, and we’re both just laughing at how wrong we were.”

Remy nodded. “Brain development is a bitch,” he said simply.

Emile barked out a laugh, clamping a hand over his mouth as he shook in his laughter. “Remy! That’s rude! These kids are technically adults!”

“Technically,” Remy pointed out. “And you just called them kids.”

“Look,” Emile said, trying his hardest to remain serious and failing. “All I’m saying is that looking backwards is weird, knowing what you thought but now realizing that it was so wrong.”

Remy sighed. “Yeah.” He got a glint in his eye that Emile didn’t like. “So I have a question based on that,” he said, waggling his eyebrows.

“I don’t like where this is going. Ask me,” Emile said.

“Do you think you’d still donate your sperm today?” Remy asked with a wicked grin.

“Remy!” Emile exclaimed, whacking Remy with his arm. “Can you imagine what would happen if one of the students I was supposed to be teaching about the campus overheard that question?”

“I imagine they’d ask if you got any money for it,” Remy said with a shrug. “Would you?”

Emile made a noise in the back of his throat. “Yeah, probably,” he said. “And I wouldn’t be anonymous, either. Those kids have the right to know where they came from, and if I get sick later down the line they should know there’s a risk for that. I might not be so convinced that someone would actually use it, but...”

“Hey, Emile, you’re cute, you’re smart, and you’re probably gonna end up with a PhD one day. You’d be a catch for any lady at the sperm bank,” Remy said definitively.

“You say that,” Emile laughed. “I don’t know exactly how much you’ll believe it later down the line, when we get older. We’ll probably look back at that decision one day and figure out that I was stupid.”

“Nah, I don’t think so,” Remy said. “You wanted to help families become families. That’s not stupid, that’s admirable.”

“So would you donate yours?” Emile asked.

Remy choked and stared at Emile. “No,” he said. “No. I’ve never had a deep-rooted desire to have a family, whether that’s through donating my sperm or settling down and adopting. Like, I’m not against families, you know? But when it comes to being a dad, I don’t know how well I’d do.”

“How come?” Emile asked.

Remy shrugged. “I dunno. Like, I would not want to end up being like my parents were, you know? And I could overcompensate trying to not be them and wind up ignoring kids, or I could fall back into old habits and hurt them. Like. Okay, looking at us ten to twenty years from now. Assuming we’re still together. Were we to adopt. Could I see myself being a competent dad? I guess. There’s a lot I’d have to work through to get to that point, though.”

“Are you talking, like...therapy, or...?” Emile asked.

Remy sighed. “Emile, I don’t need a therapist. Not at this point in time, maybe not ever after this, you know? But in this hypothetical situation, I could see unforeseen circumstances making me panic and possibly needing to...talk that through with someone. So maybe I don’t need therapy now. But if we’re talking hypotheticals, I’m not blind. I know there could be issues that come up with kids. So in that one specific circumstance, there’s the possibility I’d need therapy. You happy?”

“Is it bad if I say yes?” Emile asked with a little laugh. “Because I’m just glad that you could see yourself needing help and accepting that help.”

Remy wrinkled his nose. “It’s not needing help, it’s therapy.”

Emile blinked. “That’s...those two things are exactly the same, Rem.”

“No, like...therapy is for people with PTSD, or people who got seriously hurt, or people who are stereotypically seen as ‘crazy,’ much as I hate that term,” Remy said. “It’s not just about needing help with, like, feeling like you have a dead-end job or whatever.”

“Rem, that’s exactly what it is,” Emile said. “Therapy is help with whatever is bugging you in your life at that moment. So you went to therapy because your parents were making you suicidal. That doesn’t mean that it can’t help with smaller things.”

Remy squinted at Emile, and Emile rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe we’re back to arguing about this. We went through this freshman year, Rem!”

“Yeah, but you’re...you’re describing it differently,” Remy said.

“Not really,” Emile said. “You’re seeing it in a different light, because you’ve matured.”

Remy frowned. “I don’t get therapy. I just don’t.”

“That’s okay, since you’re not the one training to be a therapist,” Emile said with a little laugh. “Although, I will say that I agree with you, by and large. You don’t need a therapist.”

Remy looked shocked. “You’re agreeing with me on that one?”

“You’re well-adjusted, all things considered,” Emile said with a shrug. “Whether or not you want therapy or could benefit from therapy is a different question. But right now, you don’t need a therapist.”

“I...wow,” Remy said. “That may be the first time you’ve ever said that I don’t need mental help.”

“I hate when you phrase it like that,” Emile said. “It makes you sound like you’re that stereotypical ‘crazy person.’ People who go to therapy just need help, period. Not in the ‘they’re hopeless’ way, but in the ‘they’re struggling and this is how they find their footing’ way.”

Remy considered. “And that’s all it is?”

“That’s all it is,” Emile said. “And you don’t need a therapist, and I won’t force you to find one. But I will say that if you do ever need help again, there’s no shame in that.”

“...Yeah,” Remy said. “I think I’m starting to figure that out.”

[ilovemygaydad]

title: repeat (again and again)

summary: virgil sanders relied on a very specific weekly routine, and when a new server messes that up, he isn’t sure how to feel

pairing: analogical, background royality

word count: 3.2k (this.... got out of hand)

warnings: male eating disorders (talked about without many specifics, but it touches a lot on reasoning and the real-world ramifications of it), eating disorders, relapse, unspecified anxiety disorder, obsessive behaviors (such as obsessive cleaning, dislike of change, reliance on routine behaviors, etc.), anxiety, crying, sadness, self hatred, swearing, self disgust, panic attacks, food mentions, eating, mentions of stomach flu/illness, chronic dumbass disease, flunking college, therapist mentions, and possibly something else

a/n: i used my Insider Info from @fandomsandanythingelse to write this for their gf, @trifilingass-ailantofmyemotions! they said that the best thing that i could write would be analogical and oblivious mutual pining so bad that they needed to be told to get together. i kinda.... went angsty and long on this, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sue me ig

---

Virgil Sanders needed things to be a very particular way. All the time. His clothes were folded the same way every time, and if he messed up even the tiniest bit, he would have to refold the whole thing. His dorm was spotless; his bathroom was disinfected every morning. He hadn’t changed his personal style since he was sixteen.

Most of all, he loved routine. On the same day at the same time every week, Virgil would go to the diner on the corner of 7th and Main, sit in the same booth, and order the same thing.

For over a year and a half, Virgil would arrive at Patton’s Diner between 1:55 and 2:05 in the afternoon on Saturday. He would sit in the booth furthest from the door, and exactly five minutes after he arrived, Patton would take his order. He ordered black coffee, pancakes and eggs with a side of turkey bacon. The eggs and bacon had to be on a separate plate to prevent them from touching the pancakes, and everything needed to be made away from the other food. He felt bad every time that he ordered because he knew that he was creating so much work for Patton and the cooks, but he was always reminded of the first time he’d gone to the diner.

He had thought that everything would be fine. Well, Virgil had hoped that things would be fine, but he was desperate for something to eat, and he had already used up his meal tokens for the week. He’d heard that Patton’s had good food for dirt cheap, so he’d gone there. It wasn’t a big deal. He was just eating out.

Except it had been a big deal because when his plate of food was delivered by the bubbly server, he had started sobbing because the eggs were touching the pancakes, and those foods don’t mix, and now they were both ruined, and he’d spent all of four dollars just to waste both his money and the diner’s time because he couldn’t even eat some damn food like a normal person. He was a fuck up with too many standards for such a shitty person and--

“Oh my goodness, kiddo, what’s wrong?” Patton asked, and oh god, Virgil was crying in front of the owner.

“T-Touching,” Virgil said vaguely.

“I’m sorry, hon, but I don’t understand. Can you explain a bit?”

“Th-Th-The eggs,” he stuttered out. “And p-panc-c-cakes.”

“Oh,” Patton said, and Virgil knew that he had fucked up. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that you wanted them separate.”

Virgil opened his mouth to speak, but Patton cut him off by saying, “Hey, how ‘bout I take you to the back, and you can tell me exactly how you want your food? My husband has a lot of issues with food, too, and it always helps to work together to make sure everything is okay. Maybe this will help you, too.”

So, despite all odds, Virgil followed the man into the back, and they made a very detailed plan on how to make Virgil’s order for whenever he returned (and an additional plan for if he wanted to order something else--which he wouldn’t because he knew that he liked pancakes, eggs, and sausage, so why would he order something else). After seeing that Virgil liked to sit in the same booth, Patton had even begun to steer people clear right around when Virgil would be coming in. Every time that Virgil walked into Patton’s Diner, he knew exactly what he was getting himself into. 

And then it wasn’t.

---

Virgil had entered the diner at 2:01 on Saturday. He sat down in his booth, and he browsed his phone for five minutes. And then it had been seven minutes with still no Patton. At ten minutes, Virgil had become so anxious that he had focused on folding napkins into little paper boats.

“I apologize for making you wait so long,” a voice to his left suddenly said, making him jump. He looked up and saw a young man that he didn’t recognize with a notepad. “There was a miscommunication in the kitchen that I needed to attend to. How may I help you?”

“Um,” Virgil said very eloquently. “Where is Patton?”

“He came down with the stomach flu yesterday and asked me to take over his shift today so that he could stay home. Well, I requested that he stay home to take care of himself and risk getting any of our customers sick, but that is besides the point.”

“Oh.”

The man nodded his head and brought his pen back to his notepad. “What may I get you? Do you want to start with something to drink?”

How was Virgil supposed to put this politely? “I, um... I don’t--I’m not sure if I want to eat here right now.”

“What? Why? Have I done something to dissuade you from eating in our restaurant?” The man’s expression almost looked hurt.

“No! I, uh--I have really strict... dietary restrictions, so Patton always makes my food special for me.” Virgil noticed that the man’s eyes narrowed, and he hurried his speech up to dig himself out of the monumental hole that he was in. “I mean, like, I’m sure that you’d be totally good at making the meal, but I don’t want to put the work onto you. It’s a really big task, and it always takes Pat forever, so, like, I’ll just buy some instant ramen from Kwik Trip or whatever. I’m sorry for wasting your time--”

Virgil scrambled to stand up and run from the diner, but the man held up a hand, effectively freezing him in place. “You’re the one who can’t have his food touching, correct?”

“Yeah...” Shame crept into his voice despite himself.

“Patton left me with directions for you. I’ve already prepared your meal--that was actually why I was stuck in back for so long. The others were trying to help, but they kept messing things up by accident.” The man smiled, and Virgil felt his heart melt.

“Oh... Thank you, um...?”

“Logan.”

“Virgil.”

Logan gave Virgil a kind handshake. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’ll retrieve your food right now.”

---

“Are you studying at the university?”

Virgil glanced up from his environmental science homework to Logan, happy for a distraction from the horrible problems spread in front of him. Logan had started to show up more often when Virgil was visiting; Patton would come to quote-unquote “take his order,” and Logan would bring it to the table. “Yeah. I’m majoring in Psychology and Counseling, but there were a few summer courses I wanted to try. Do you go to school here, too?”

“Ah, no,” Logan said, suddenly looking sheepish. “I flunked out of school first semester.”

Virgil, you’re a fucking idiot.

“Oh my god, I’m so--”

“No, it’s okay. I’m... I think that it’s more important that I’m recovering than working myself to death in school.” Logan placed Virgil’s food down and sat in the booth across from him. Absently, Virgil wondered why he worked on Saturdays now since there were more than enough servers and cooks on shift.

“I don’t know if this is inappropriate for me to ask ‘cause, like, we’re pretty much strangers, but... what happened?”

Logan smiled reassuringly. “It’s alright. I actually went to MIT on a full scholarship in biomedical engineering. It upsets me to no end that I ended up throwing that incredible opportunity away, but the past is in the past, right?

“When I was seventeen, I somehow got it into my head that I was overweight. The thought is completely illogical because I was at the ideal weight for my height at the time. I almost completely cut back on eating to lose weight--I’m certain that you’re familiar with anorexia nervosa--and told myself that what I was doing was best for me.

“Things seemed fine for a while. I was accepted to college and graduated high school with high marks, and I was seemingly crawling towards my ideal weight. In my mind, my life couldn’t have been better.

“But once college hit, I pretty much stopped eating altogether. Without the energy to function properly, my grades started slipping. When my grades started slipping, I began to throw myself into days-long study binges where I neglected food and sleep completely. By the end of the semester, I had worked myself into the ground, and I ended up needing to go to rehab for nearly a year until I was stable enough to return home.”

Logan took a heavy breath, grounding himself for a few moments before he continued. “Patton insisted that I moved in with him and his husband so that I could be nearby and for proximity with a trusted therapist. You know Dr. Emile Picani, don’t you?”

Virgil nodded. “Yeah, he’s one of my professors.”

“He’s been my therapist since I moved here in April. He’s proven to be extremely helpful for my recovery, but I suspect the main reason that Patton wanted me here was so that he could protect me. I’m his little brother, and he worries about me.”

“Patton’s your brother?!” Virgil burst out, clamping his hands over his mouth to control his volume.

“Yes?” Logan cocked his head. “I thought that was obvious.”

Rolling his eyes, Virgil smiled brightly. “Just because you know that you’re brothers doesn’t mean that I know that you’re brothers.”

“I regret befriending you.”

Virgil’s heart fluttered in his chest, but he disregarded it. “Aw, so you do like me!”

With a groan, Logan stood up and began to walk away. “I never said that.”

“Wait, Logan!”

“Yes?” Logan asked, glancing over his shoulder.

“I’m glad you’re getting better.”

---

“Patton? Where’s Logan?” Virgil didn’t like how his voice quavered. He told himself that it was simply because his routine of over two months had been broken, not because he missed talking to Logan. All of his nerves were because school had started up again, and he was still getting used to it. That was it.

“Roman took him to the museum today, kiddo. There was a new exhibit about stars added, and Logan...” Patton’s words faltered, and he placed Virgil’s plates down to cover. “Well, I’m sure he’ll tell you all about it next week, alright?”

“Yeah, of course. Thanks.” The two smiled at each other, and Patton walked back to the kitchen.

Virgil took a sip of his coffee and tried to drown the icky feeling in his stomach.

---

“Logan!” Virgil cried as soon as his friend walked into the diner the following Saturday. Logan found himself with his arms full of Virgil, who held him tightly. “Where were you last week? You worried me sick... Please don’t break routine without telling me in advance next time.”

“I apologize. I didn’t realize that I had become a part of your routine, or I would have stopped by before I went to the museum.” Logan’s skin felt cold when Virgil pulled away from the hug, and he followed his friend to their usual booth.

“Dude, of course you’re part of it!” Virgil scoffed. “You’re, like, the most important part.”

Logan felt a bit faint, but he chalked it up to having a difficult few weeks. “That’s very kind of you to say.”

“Shhhh! Stop with the sappy shit and move on to telling me about your museum date with Roman.”

“It was nice,” Logan said, powering through the thoughts that were telling him to shut up, idiot. “Roman wanted to take me out because I... had been relapsing for about two weeks, and he knew that I needed something to help my spirits.” Hot, uncomfortable tears welled up in his eyes. He didn’t enjoy feeling weak, and relapses were lapses of time where he was only weak.

A cool hand placed itself over his as he squeezed his eyes closed. “It’s okay for you to be upset right now, Lo. Eating disorders are very difficult beasts to overcome, and you are fighting that battle with courage. Relapses are are a natural part of all recovery.”

Choked laughter forced its way from Logan’s throat. “Who are you, and what have you done with Virgil?” He opened his eyes and caught Virgil’s worried gaze, which quickly shut him up.

“Seriously. It’s okay.”

Logan nodded slowly, moving his hand in Virgil’s to squeeze it. “It’s okay.”

Everything is okay with you.

---

“Guess who fuckin passed, bitch!” Virgil yelled as he burst into the Sanders’ apartment. Logan was sitting on the couch, wrapped up in a fluffy blanket, but he jumped up to catch Virgil’s tackle.

“I knew that you would, Virge.” Logan gently set Virgil onto the couch and sat next to him. Their new routine during winter break was for Virgil to come to the Sanders’ apartment every day at five for dinner, and they always watched an episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved before the food was done.

“Whatever. I owe it all to you and Picani for helping me trudge through this semester without having nearly as many panic attacks as I would have otherwise.” Virgil sighed, leaning into his best friend’s side. “Speaking of Picani, how was therapy today?”

“It was good. Those ‘affirmations’ that he’s been having me do are really helping.” A happy feeling fluttered in his chest as he pressed back against Virgil. Life felt really good.

Patton and Roman erupted through the door not a second later, making even more of a racket than Virgil had. Logan secretly despised his friend and family for being so unnecessarily loud every single god damn day. He did. He really did.

“How are my favorite boys?” Patton asked as he dropped his bags of groceries on the kitchen table.

“Virgil passed all of his exams, and I have been struggling to keep warm all day.” The body pressed into his side nuzzled closer.

Roman dramatically placed his own bags on the table, draping himself on his husband. “We missed Virgil’s entrance again! At this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was able to teleport to and from his dorm.”

“You miss me every day.” Virgil rolled his eyes. “Maybe you should think about planning your schedule three minutes earlier.”

“Um, rude! We feed you, and this is the thanks we get? Sass and endless cuddling with Logan?”

Both Virgil and Logan nodded.

“You two are the worst.”

“Trust me,” Logan said, allowing Virgil to finish.

“We know.”

---

“Logan, kiddo, can you come here for a second?”

“Just a moment,” Logan called back, gently placing the spring-themed cookies into the fridge to cool. His brother was sitting cross-legged on the desk, holding a picture frame in his hands. “What do you require from me?”

Patton took a deep breath. “What do you like about Virgil?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Patton said. He looked at the ceiling as if to gather his thoughts. “Why did you decide to befriend him? What traits drew you to him?”

“Simple. He’s kind, caring, and intuitive. He is wise beyond his years, yet humble due to his anxiety. Although he likens himself to the bad parts of thunderstorms, I feel as though he doesn’t truly grasp that his presence can be healing and soothing. His emotions can be volatile at times, but he is able to recognize his faults and strive to do better. Overall, Virgil is a good person, and that is why I befriended him.”

“Mmmm. Do you love him?”

Logan cocked his head. He must have misheard Patton. “What?”

“Do you love Virgil?”

“What?” Logan repeated. “Where would you have gotten that idea?”

Patton shook his head, glancing lovingly back at the frame in his hands. “Friends--even best friends--typically don’t go on long tangents about what they like about their friends where they basically wax poetic for a minute.”

“I--What are you insinuating?”

“I think, kiddo,” Patton said, hopping off of his desk to stand in front of his brother, “that you’re in love with Virgil.”

“I don’t--I can’t be in love with Virgil!” Logan protested. Patton gave him a Look, and all of the puzzle pieces clicked into place. “Holy shit, I’m in love with Virgil.”

Outside, one of the workers called, “Regular’s here, Pat!”

“Kiddo, I think it’s time to tell him how you feel.”

Logan vehemently disagreed with that statement. “Absolutely not, Patton. What if he rejects me? Guys tend to stray away from me because--you know.”

A deep frown marred Patton’s usually cheerful face. “You’re scared, and I understand that, but you need to take chances every once in a while. You’ve known Virgil for almost a year. He’d been nothing but supportive of you.” He had that stupid expression that meant that he was going to be all wise. “Those are just cognitive distortions in your brain, honey. You can’t listen to them. You’ve got this.”

“Cognitive distortions,” parroted Logan. “You’ve got this.”

“Go get him, Lo!” Patton cheered, shooing Logan to the front of the diner. 

Virgil was sitting at his normal booth, and for the first time since they had met, Logan realized how absolutely stunning he was. While Logan was all sharp angles, Virgil’s features were soft and round. His slight form was obstructed by his giant hoodie, but his face was pulled into a concentrated scowl as he scribbled something in a notebook. A tiny portion of his tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth.

It took what felt like an eternity for Logan to muster up the courage to sit across from Virgil. Patiently, he waited for Virgil to finish writing. In all actuality, Logan was grateful that he didn’t have to speak for a few moments, so he let his mind wander. His eyes drifted out the window, watching as pedestrians walked past in calming waves.

“Lo? Hey, you there, bud?”

Logan’s attention snapped back to the present. “Yeah, sorry. I zoned out for a second.”

Ever perceptive, Virgil’s face creased with worry. “What’s on your mind?”

You can do this. It’s like a Band-Aid. That’s what Virgil always says.

“It has come to my attention that I...”

No. He couldn’t do it. Virgil was going to hate him forever, and--

“Hey now, star-shine.” Virgil set his hand next to Logan’s so that they were only millimeters apart. “It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.”

Logan moved his hand at a snail’s pace, wrapping it around Virgil’s as lightly as possible. It would be okay. He could do this. “Virgil, I harbor romantic feelings toward you.”

“Oh,” Virgil breathed, and for a fraction of a second, Logan thought that he had messed up, but Virgil’s tone turned to loving awe. “Oh, Logan. That is the stupidest way to say that.”

And Logan had been right all along. “If you are going to reject me, would it be impossible to be kind--”

“Lo, no, I love it. I love you, I just hadn’t realized it until you said it in that ridiculous, scholarly way of yours.” 

It was Logan’s turn to say, “Oh.” Neither of them seemed very good at communicating right now.

A very doofy smile spread across Virgil’s face, and he laced their fingers together for real. “We both know that I hate breaking routine, but... I think that it’s time to make a new one. Saturdays at two pm are for dates at the diner. How does that sound?” 

“I think that it’s the best idea that you’ve ever had.”

[katedoesfics]

Lacuna | Chapter 3

Kahli hesitated as she walked the road back to the house. Sitting on the fence was a young, blonde, freckled face woman, and she greeted Kahli with a bright smile as she approached. She jumped off the fence.

“You must be Kahli!”

“I think you’ve mistaken me for the other new chick in town,” Kahli said with a smirk.

The woman laughed. “I’m Emily! I’m your neighbor. I live with my grandmother right up there at the farm! I wanted to introduce myself and give you this.” She dug through a bag at her feet and pulled out a pie. “Granny made it for you. She would have come herself, but she has a hard time getting around. But she’s excited to meet you, so come by sometime, yeah?”

Kahli took the pie from Emily. “What if I’m a serial killer?”

“Ha! Well, just make sure you tell Gran you liked the pie, first, okay?”

“Unless this is all a plot to get rid of me,” Kahli said. “She poisoned the pie, didn’t she?”

Emily grinned and rolled her eyes. “She may have added a… secret ingredient.”

“Is it love?”

Emily laughed. “So, I know you’ve only been here for like, a day, but how do you like Portia so far?”

“It’s nice,” Kahli said. “I’m not used to seeing so much greenery.”

“Where did you live before?”

“Barnarock.”

Emily nodded. “Ah, yep. You’re not in Barnarock anymore, girl. But everyone here’s really nice.”

“Hm,” Kahli started. “Even that Higgins guy?”

“Well, everyone else.” She laughed. “Who have you met so far?”

Kahli pinched her lips together as she tried to recall some names. “Well, Presley and Gale. And, uh, Antoine. And Arlo. And some other names were mentioned, but I haven’t met them. Petra and… Merlin? And Sam and Remington.”

“Ah, yes, the good ol’ Corps. You’ll see a lot of them as they make their patrols. Arlo is the leader of the Portia branch here.” She leaned in and nudged Kahli with her elbow. “And he’s not bad to look at, either.”

Kahli blushed. “Well, alright, then.”

Emily laughed. “I hear he’s single.”

“That’s… good to know.”

Emily pushed herself back onto the fence. “There’s a few cute guys around,” she continued on. “Have you met Dr. Xu?” She sighed dreamily. “Gotta love a good looking doctor, am I right?”

“I guess.”

“Unless women are more your style,” she continued. “There’s Phyllis.” She whistled. “Beauty and brains, that one. She works with Dr. Xu. Sam, of course. She’s a fun, spunky little thing. And Petra. Very smart. Very cute.”

“I should probably just date ‘em all,” Kahli said.

Emily shrugged. “Might as well.” She grinned. “Unless… you’ve got someone back in Barnarock?”

Kahli shook her head. “Nope. I, uh, don’t have the best dating history.”

“Are you the crazy type?”

“I like to think I’m low on the crazy scale.” Kahli shrugged. “Just never had a relationship that lasted for more than a few months. They always end up being weird or assholes or boring.”

Emily laughed. “Well, I think everyone here is pretty normal and interesting. You’ll see. And I get the sense you’re interesting, too. You’ll be liked around here.”

“I hope so.” Kahli turned to face the workshop. “Don’t tell anyone, but I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

“You know, I don’t think anyone here knows what they’re doing, really.” She shrugged. “I think you’ll find that a lot of people here are kinda like you. Just kinda ended up here, yanno?”

“What about you?”

“I was born and raised here,” Emily said. “I always wanted to go out into the world and explore it like my grandfather did. But my parents work in Atara and I didn’t want to leave Gran alone, so I stayed to help her on the ranch. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love being here and have no regrets, but it certainly wasn’t what I thought I’d be doing.” She paused. “I’m guessing you didn’t expect to be a builder, then?”

Kahli shook her head. “To be honest, I never really had any goals or dreams.” She shrugged. “I’m boring and not ambitious, I guess.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Emily said. “You came here. That’s something.”

Kahli frowned. “I don’t know why I came here,” she said. “I don’t know what I thought I’d find here. Answers, I guess. Explanations. I dunno. But so far, I’ve found nothing. Shouldn’t have expected anything, really.”

“I thought your father gave you this place.”

“He did. But I haven’t seen him in years. He dumped me on my aunt after my mother died and took off on some adventure of his own.” She rolled her eyes. “You know, I think at one point, I wanted to be like him. Running off on some adventure and leaving everything else behind. But then as I got older I realized how fucked up it all was.”

Emily frowned. “I’m sorry. That sounds shitty.”

Kahli shrugged. “Well, now you know way more about me than I’m sure you wanted to know.”

Emily offered her a warm smile. “No way,” she said. “It’s nice to have a friend to talk to.”

“You might change your mind.”

Emil laughed and pushed herself off the fence. “We’ll see,” she said. “I’ll let you get to work. Or, attempt to work, anyway.” She winked. “Good luck. Enjoy the pie! And don’t be a stranger!”

*****

Kahli spent the rest of the day and well into the evening digging out her father’s old notebooks and flipping through the pages of notes. To her relief, her father kept detailed notes and diagrams, and after digging through the old workshop on the property, she managed to dig out some of his old equipment. It was all foriegn to her, but after a couple of hours, she managed to figure out what each machine did and how to use it. She found some notes on the other bridges he had built and made note of the process. Wood boards would need to be cut, bricks would need to be made, and somehow, she would have to melt some copper and bronze into pipes and plates. She was certain she should have had some kind of college degree to do all this. At the very least, some kind of knowledge of how to operate the machines without losing a finger. Maybe the people of Portia assumed her father had passed down this knowledge to her.

Boy were they wrong.

Kahli dreamt in diagrams that night, unable to get them out of her head. They haunted her, causing her to toss and turn for most of the night until a distant rooster crowed to the sunrise.

She sat at the table with a luke warm cup of coffee in her hands, her eyelids drooping low as she stared off into space. She would have to start somewhere, and she supposed her best option was to begin gathering the materials she would need. Wood. Copper. Tin. She groaned to herself when she realized she would need to mine in the ruins for the copper and tin.

What had she gotten herself into?

When she finished her coffee, she dragged herself outside, only to be greeted by two questionably dressed men. They were tall and lanky, and if she were being honest, the bald one looked like a complete idiot. His partner spoke first.

“How do, new citizen? I’m Agent T, and this is my partner, Agent H. We are a part of the Free Cities Deb Collection Agency.”

Kahli hesitated. “Can I help you?”

“Yes.” He cleared his throat. “It has come to our attention that you are the offspring of the former owner of this workshop. Is that correct?”

“I am,” she said warily.

“Oh, good! Your father accrued 50,000 Gols in debt from his business. Since we cannot find him, the debt has fallen to you, his closest kin. Because I’m a nice guy, I’ll give you a week to come up with the money. If you don’t pay up, we’ll take his house as collateral. If you try to run, we will inform the Civil Corps. That’s all. You have a good day, now!”

Kahli stared at them, dumbfounded, as they turned away and walked briskly down the road. As they disappeared over the hill, a realization washed over her.

“Sonnovabitch!” She shouted. Leave it to her father to shove all his problems on to her.

[oswaldsirius]

Once in a Lifetime

Chapter Twelve

Pairing: Leonardo/Arabella

Word Count: 2652

-

           Pausing as she heard noises from downstairs, Arabella kept completely still as she listened. What was that? It was too early for Leonardo to be here so who-A strangled gasp left her as she recognised the presence that washed over her and she tore out of her room.

           “Don’t run on the stairs!”

           Ignoring Emil’s shout, she continued to run and skidded across the foyer as Louis closed the door. “Carmella!” she cried, throwing herself at her sister.

           “Ciao, Belli bean,” Carmella murmured, easily catching her and pulling her close.

           Arabella sighed as her perfume filled her senses and cuddled further into her. It had been too long since she’d actually seen her sister. Even though Carmella had been in Rome for years, the times they’d met had been so few. There was only so many time her brothers could sneak her out without their mother becoming aware of what they were doing and trips to Rome weren’t a possibility.

           Carmella squeezed her before gently pushing her back. “You look awfully dressed up for not knowing I was coming.”

           She pushed her lightly. “I have another date with Leonardo.”

           “Another?”

           Arabella gave her a look. “Why say it like that? Am I not allowed to go on dates with him?”

           “I didn’t say that, Arabella. You can go on as many dates as you like. But you aren’t tired of the old vampire yet?”

           “You’re the same age!”

           “We age differently,” Carmella dismissed with a sniff.

           “You do not!”

           “Stop!” Emil said firmly. “You aren’t starting that now when she’s only gotten here.”

           “Start what, Emil?” Carmella asked.

           “Leave her be. She’s having fun with her boyfriend. Let her have that.”

           Arabella’s gut lurched at the word. Boyfriend? They hadn’t really talked about what they were. What they wanted to be sure, but they hadn’t attached a name to what they were. They’d been going on dates for over a month now so were they official? Were they a proper couple?

           They certainly made out like they were.

           She was glad Carmella was looking at Emil and not her in that moment. It was a struggle to keep her thoughts in check, but she made herself focus on her siblings. She didn’t need them picking up on how chaotic her thoughts had just become.

           Emil was leaning against the doorframe into his study, looking at Carmella as she spoke to him. But his gaze flicked to her when he realised she was looking. “Are you ready to go?”

           Before Arabella could say anything, Carmella huffed. “Go? I just got here! Aren’t you going to stay and visit?”

           “I wouldn’t have planned a date if I’d known you were coming!”

           Carmella’s face softened and brushed Arabella’s hair back. “I know, Belli,” she said, kissing her forehead. “Just come home early enough so we can have tiramisu.”

Excitement burst through her. “Don’t make it without me!”

           “I should, to teach you a lesson,” Carmella teased, “but I’ll wait for you.”

           Kissing Carmella’s cheek, she grinned at her before going back upstairs. Her phone pinged as she walked back in and she dove for it. Her grin came back as she read the messages he’d sent.

           Your cat hates me, cara mia.

           She’s ruining my smokes!

           And terrorising Lys!

           Arabella laughed. She can’t be that bad, she sent back, sitting on her bed.

           He sent a picture that was at an odd angle, like he’d held the phone near his face to take a shot down his frame, but she could clearly see the kitten climbing his chest while he sat. Given everything he’d said once the last week, she imagined she was going for his cigarillo.  Minaccia is horrible.

           Don’t call her that!

           Too late, Bella. You made me take her so I name her.

           She kept laughing and flopped back on her bed. “Okay,” she said softly. What were they? Both of them had expressed wanting more than just the now but did that mean that they had taken that step to be in a proper relationship or did one of them need to verbally ask.

           Mulling it over, she grinned to herself. Maybe she would do just that later. They’d adopted a kitten together, surely he wouldn’t say no.

-

           Watching Arabella scamper up the stairs, Carmella waited until she heard a door close. “When did she get so big?” she mused. “She shouldn’t be having her new beginning or dating.”

           Emil chuckled. “I don’t know. I don’t like it though. Makes me feel old.”

           She turned to him, one brow raised. “You didn’t seem opposed,” she accused.

           He returned her look evenly. “Should we get this out of the way first then?” he asked.

           Her eyes narrowed as he moved into his office, leaving it up to her to follow. She almost regretted coming here first and sending Domenico to acquire an office space. But she’d wanted to see her sister, hadn’t considered that she might not be sticking around for long. They’d spoken nearly every day since her new beginning and it had made her miss Arabella terribly. Now that she was fully immortal, Carmella was determined to be more involved in her life.

           At least when she wasn’t going on dates with Leonardo da Vinci.

           “Tch,” she muttered, following after Emil. He was seated at the desk as she came in, back at work. Closing the door, she sat across from him and said, “She deserves better.”

           “Define better, Carmella, because I think all of us will agree that no one is good enough for her.” Emil paused. “Or at least I would have before her new beginning.”

           Which made no sense to her. “Why the change of heart? He’s spent most of his life shunning the rest of us and then he sweeps in to take our sister? I don’t like it, Emiliano. It reeks of an ulterior motive. No one even knew she existed before the invitations were sent.”

           Emil set his pen down and leaned back in his chair. “The truth, Carmella. Do you dislike da Vinci because you think he isn’t good enough for Arabella? Or is because of our history with him, yours specifically?”

           Her eyes narrowed again. “Have you told her?” she asked, ignoring the rest of what he’d said.

           “No. What happened, or didn’t happen then, has no bearing on what’s happening now between them.”

           “I just don’t like it! Why was he even there?! Our parents would have never invited him!”

           “You know they didn’t. He was brought by a guest of one of our older business partners.” Emil sighed. “But it doesn’t matter. What’s done is done and Arabella made her choice.”

           Carmella studied him. Emiliano was the stubbornest of all of them, maybe of all of them put together. He never backed down without a fight and had been protective over Arabella since she’d been born. He’d practically raised their baby sister as his own, packing up the business in France and moving back to Italy after her birth. Between him and his wife, Marie, they’d been more parents to Arabella than her proper ones. For him to seemingly roll over like this…he was hiding something. “What changed your mind about him?” she asked.

           “He makes Arabella happy. He has my support so long as that remains. I’ll withdraw it the moment it changes.”

           “Emiliano, you can fool Belli, but I know you better. Out with it.”

           His mouth flattened. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “This is theirs and we aren’t interfering.”

           Maybe he wasn’t but her livelihood was digging in the dark and she’d already started. “You know he was married before?”

           “Carmella.”

           “I don’t have this knowledge of yours that made you jump ship. I don’t know or trust him. Not with Arabella.”

           “Because he was married? That’s a lot to hold against a man.”

           “There’s nothing of his wife. It’s like she vanished from the Earth. It was almost impossible to even find this much about his life in France.”

           “Our existence hinges on staying out of sight. If he did marry, he would have done the same for her. To keep them both safe.”

           “But where is she now?” Carmella pressed. “His father is notorious for the wives he’s taken and moved on from. What if Belli is just a conquest for him?”

           “She isn’t.”

           “How do you know that?”

           “Carmella.”

           “How?”

           “Because he loves her,” Emil snapped.

           She pulled back, watching him warily. Love? How could he love someone so fast and get Emil to agree to allow him contact with their sister? “He barely knows her.”

           “And yet he loves her.” Emil sighed harshly and rubbed at his face. “You push too much sometimes.”

           “I don’t want her to get hurt.” Shit! There was too much in her voice but thinking about da Vinci made her think of the past and…of him.

           Emil’s hands dropped and he levelled a look at her. One she had seen many, many times in her long life. One she recognised as an older brother ready to defend his sister. “You’ve never mentioned his name.”

           “And I’m not going to now,” she dismissed, burying those memories. “It was probably fake.” The one she’d given him certainly had been.

           “It may mean little to you, but trust me, Carmella. She isn’t a conquest to him. Hurting her is the last thing on da Vinci’s mind.”

           She didn’t go on blind trust, not even for him, but he was right. She’d pushed hard enough on this for now. “We both know that’s not the only reason I’m here,” she said.

           It had always fascinated her, watching him go from Emil the older brother to Emiliano head of the Cavinato trading empire. She often wondered if the rest of them ever made the same switch when they were dealing with business matters. “You found something.”

           Taking a deep breath, she let go of her emotions to focus on the real reason she was here. “It was deliberate.”

           His expression didn’t change but the temperature in the room dropped. “Deliberate,” he repeated.

           “Those that worked the field were questioned first of course, but none of them even caused the faintest bit of alarm. Lesser vampires all of them, made by the house that owns those fields. They were cleared, every last one of them.”

           “But.”

           “Three of them turned up dead two days ago,” she said lowly.

           This time his expression did change but it was merely the flexing of his jaw as he clenched his teeth. “Dead.”

           Carmella took a breath again, but to steady herself this time. She’d seen what was left of them and it hadn’t been…pleasant. “All three shot through the heart at close range, meaning that whoever they were dealing with they trusted. Quick and easy deaths, at least that’s what the coroner ruled it.”

           “You’re not one to beat around the bush, Carmella. Quick and easy deaths don’t bother you. You lived in New York at the height of the mob wars that went on there. You’ve seen bad. Whatever you found, however, scared you.”

           She had lived through all of that, seen even worse, and…. “You’re right,” she agreed. “This did scare me. Single shots through the heart are nothing and yet everything to a lesser. But these…something didn’t sit right with me so I dug further. Got my own medical examiner to take a look. Lessers don’t heal quite as quickly as we do and the amount of deep tissue damage that had been done to them…. Emil, whoever did this to them, did it with rage and hatred.”

           He sighed harshly and shook his head. “You have reports? You don’t have to tell me.”

           She had them to give but this needed to be said. “She found more damage done to the internal systems, something no torture could have done.”

           Emil was quiet, pondering for a moment before his face tightened. “Poison?”

           Carmella pressed her lips together and made herself take a few more breaths. “I don’t think all of the tainted crops were contained, Emiliano,” she said softly.

-

           Resting his cheek against Arabella’s hair, Leonardo absently let his fingers toy with the ends. He watched the curls wrap around him, claiming him in a small way, and got lost in memories and this moment. Dinner had been fun and the movie almost as entertaining as her. He knew he should be taking her home, but he’d told the driver to take a scenic route back.

           She was tucked close to him, her legs slung over one of his and his other hand caught in hers. She was warm and soft in his grasp, content to simply be there with him. If it weren’t for the fact that she was rubbing her thumb against his hand, he would have thought her asleep.

           But his Bella had something on her mind and hadn’t said anything about it yet.

           He’d waited through dinner but she hadn’t mentioned it. Nothing before the movie or after. Their time together would be ending soon and he didn’t think she’d let that thought linger past parting. Prompting her could work but he didn’t want to rush her.

           “I had a lot of fun tonight, Leonardo,” she said suddenly, warm breath fanning over his chest.

           “So did I.”

           She sighed slowly before pushing away from him. He waited as she looked at him, waited as she found her words. He ran his fingers through her hair to help soothe her. “What are we?” she asked.

           “Vampires.”

           Arabella laughed sharply and smacked his chest. “That’s not what I meant!”

           He knew that but he hadn’t bothered stopping himself. “Alright, cara mia,” he murmured. “Forgive me? Will be serious.”

           She eyed him, laughter still dancing in her eyes. “I’ll forgive you if you answer a question.”

           “You’ve already used your question today,” he teased before making a face at himself. “Scusa. Apparently can’t be serious for long. What’s your question, Bella?”

           “Are we dating?”

           Leonardo studied her in the light filtering in through the windows. She was watching him in a way that made him think beyond the simple answer to that question. They were going on dates so of course they were dating, but he knew she meant more than that. He’d thought it had been obvious with his confessions and hers, their want of happiness together and of each other, but he realised she deserved the actual words. To be asked properly. “Scusa, cara mia,” he breathed, lifting his hands to thread them through her hair. “Skipped steps, didn’t we?”

           Her smile was faint and for the first time in a long time, a little shy.

           Stroking her hair, he let his hands slide back to cup her face. “Want you to be mine, Bella,” he said softly. “Will you be my compagna?”

           Her eyes widened at how he said it, immediately catching his meaning, and he chuckled.

           “No?” he murmured. “Wrong word?”

           “That’s a few more skipped steps!”

           But she didn’t sound opposed to the idea. He tucked that knowledge away for later. “L’amie?” he corrected, switching languages.

           “Le petit ami,” she said softly back and he laughed.

           Tipping her face up to his, Leonardo smiled at her. “That’s a yes then? Dating officially?”

           “That’s a yes,” she breathed before her nose wrinkled.

           “What is it?” he asked, kissing the tip of it.

           “I wanted to ask you to be my boyfriend but then I got too nervous thinking about it,” she admitted.

           Absolutely adorable. He stole a quick kiss from her. “That what you were thinking about all night?”

           She gave him a sheepish smile. “It seemed silly to be nervous, given everything but….”

           “Can’t help how we feel, Bella. The good or the bad.”

           “I prefer the good,” Arabella murmured, leaning in to kiss him.

           So do I, he thought as he kept her right there.

[vincent-frankenstein]

"Trick-or-treating is for children. Let's go cause some trouble" with some Highschool AU Remile please-

me? combining my longest-running hyperfixation with my oldest hyperfixation in a 4k unedited mess? it’s more likely than you’d think

listen hocus pocus’ protagonists are both in high school. it works. 

Title: I Put A Spell On You

Summary: Remy doesn’t like Halloween. What he does like is impressing his crush, Emile Picani, Salem’s resident witch fanatic. When a night out trick-or-treating with his brother Roman turns into a quest to explore the old Sanderson Museum, with Emile by his side, it’s like a dream come true — even if Roman thinks it’s more like a nightmare.

It’s not like there’s anything to be scared of, right? Those old superstitions, all that shit about the Sanderson Brothers — it’s not like any of it is real.

After all, it’s just a bunch of hocus pocus. 

Pairings: romantic remile and brotherly remy & roman

Warnings: mentions of death, hangings, witchcraft, etc + bullies + some Brotherly Angst + unsympathetic virgil (but like. only implied)

Remy wasn’t the biggest fan of Halloween.

He’d liked it enough back home in L.A., where it was more about parties and stupid horror movies and seeing how much pumpkin-spiced garbage you could shove down your throat in one night. But he’d been dragged away from his home and dropped smack-dab in the middle of Lametown, U.S.A. — a.k.a., Salem. Salem, where everyone from toddlers to teachers believed in witches and ghouls and other such things that go bump in the night, where the best “parties” were boring masquerade balls thrown by old rich dumbasses for old rich dumbasses.

Salem, where trick-or-treating was a cultural must.

Salem, where the only thing lamer than going trick-or-treating was being forced to take your dorky-ass brother out trick-or-treating.

He hunched his shoulders, hands shoved deep in the pockets of his leather jacket, and hoped his dark shades were enough to keep anyone from recognizing him. Roman pranced ahead of him with a spring in his step and a song on his tongue, his prince costume — hand-sewn by Mom, of course, anything for the golden child — sparkling orange-purple-green in the lights from the houses they passed.

“Girl,” he hissed, falling into step beside his brother, “you’ve got enough candy to feed a small army. Can we go home now?”

“Nope!” Roman beamed, showing off his gap-toothed, sugar-coated smile. “We haven’t even hit the best houses yet! Miss Valerie told us at school that there’s a lady on this street who gives out freshly-baked cookies!”

“Isn’t that just Gucci,” he muttered, rolling his eyes. Roman didn’t hear him — or, more likely, he did, and he just didn’t care. He skipped merrily up the steps to a tall, brightly-lit house, and bounced on the balls of his feet as he rang the doorbell. Remy leaned heavily against a post at the bottom of the stairs and glared at the ground, arms crossed tightly.

“Woah-hoh! If it isn’t Hollywood!”

Remy’s blood ran cold. Of course. Of all the people to catch him trick-or-treating, it had to be the two biggest dumbshits in the world! He lifted his gaze, trying to remain as nonchalant as possible as his heart pounded in his throat.

Two goons stood at the front gate of the house, with a small gaggle of other goons gathered behind them. Nate — the leader, and the dumbest of all the dumbshits — leaned languidly against the gate, a cruel, slow smile etched across his face. He pushed off the gate and stalked towards Remy, slow as syrup and twice as sickly-sweet.

“Sorry to break it to you, girl, but I think you’re lost,” Remy sneered, standing to meet him. “The dumbass convention is that way.”

His goons burst out laughing, and Nate shot them a glare, hands curling into fists. His second goon-in-command, a tall, lanky kid with sunglasses and a woven black scarf, stepped up beside him, still laughing. Nate jabbed an elbow into his side. “Shut up, Derek,” he hissed.

“I told you, it’s Dice now!” the goon said, clutching his chest in offense. Remy snorted, raising an eyebrow, and Dice whirled on him with all the fury of a thousand suns. “You got a problem with my name?”

“Remy?” Roman appeared beside him, holding his bag of candy to his chest. “What’s going on?”

“Roman, go home,” Remy said, shoving him away. “It’s nothing.”

“Ohoh, nothing?” Dice snickered, turning to block Roman’s escape path. “You didn’t tell us you had a brother, Hollywood! What’s your name, darling?”

Roman lifted his chin, his hand going to the plastic sword hanging by his side, and Remy dropped his head into his hands, wishing, praying for death. “I am Prince Roman!” Roman declared, drawing his sword. “Who are you villains to accost my big brother is such a heinous way?”

Oh. Oh great, he was using the Prince Voice™ and everything. Remy’s soul ascended to another plane of existence solely to curse out whatever cruel god had decided to drop him in this situation, and when he came back to Earth, he found Roman holding the edge of his sword alight at Dice’s throat.

“Ooh, so scary!” Nate taunted, laughing. “Tell you what, Princey. Give us your candy, and we’ll let you off easy.”

“No way!” Roman cried — and he swung his plastic sword with all the might a 9-year-old could muster, and it cracked into the side of Dice’s head with a dull whap. Remy grabbed his brother’s shoulder and yanked him behind him, eyes widening.

“Oh, you’re dead, Hollywood,” Dice growled, rubbing the side of his head. In a blind panic, Remy grabbed Roman’s candy and yanked it out of his hands, shoving it into Nate’s arms. Then he grabbed Roman, swung him into his arms, and ran, vaulting over the gate.

“No!” Roman cried, thrashing, desperate to be put down. “What are you doing? Go back! Lemme — lemme fight!”

He didn’t stop until the goons’ yelling faded behind them, until he’d twisted down so many side streets that there was no chance of being found. He set Roman down and doubled over, panting heavily.

“You jerk!” Roman growled. “We could’ve taken them!”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Remy hissed, eyes narrowed. He’d never wanted to strangle his brother more. “They would’ve killed us. I just saved our lives.”

“No, you lost me my candy, and you proved yourself to be a coward!” Roman took a step back, his tiny hands curled into tight, shaking fists.

“Shut up,” Remy growled. “I don’t care about your candy. Just use your little golden-child puppy-dog-eyes on Dad, he’ll buy you all the candy you want! What I care about is the fact that you almost just got us killed! And, worse, you made me look stupid in front of, like, half my grade. So please, just shut up, go home, and — and get the hell out of my life!”

Roman froze. His face — which had been burning with anger just a moment ago, eyes narrowed, teeth bared in a snarl — fell horribly empty. Remy’s outburst hung in the air between them, thick and heavy and barbed with a thousand thorns, and he only had a moment to feel regret before Roman burst into tears and ran off.

“Roman, no!” Remy cried, but Roman didn’t go very far. He fell dramatically against a hay-bale out in front of one of the houses around them and sobbed into his arms, and Remy slowed to a stop behind him, cold regret eating away at his lungs. God, why did he speak? Why did God curse him with vocal chords?

“I — I — I know you’re sad we left home, and I — I know you’re an angsty teen now — but —” Roman curled in on himself, his face buried in the crook of his arm. “That doesn’t mean you get to be so mean all the time!”

“Oh, hun,” Remy whispered, kneeling down beside him. “I’m sorry, I… I didn’t mean to say that. I don’t want you out of my life. You make my life, like… at least 60% better.”

“75,” Roman mumbled into his arm. Remy laughed.

“Alright, alright. 75% better.” He leaned against the hay-bale and slid down until he was sitting at Roman’s level, and leaned into his side. “I just, like — I really miss home. And being out tonight just... reminded me of how much I’ve lost, yknow?”

“This is your home now,” Roman said, swiping at his face with his sleeves, “so get used to it.”

Remy sighed. “You’re right, girl,” he said, rubbing his eyes behind his shades. “C’mon. The night’s still young. Let’s get your candy back.”

Roman lifted his head, hope sparkling in his eyes. “Are we going to launch a campaign against those foul villains to steal back our candy?”

“No?” Remy snorted. “We’re just gonna trick-or-treat more.”

“Oh.” Roman pushed himself to his feet. “That’s cool too.”

“Glad you approve,” Remy shoved himself to his feet too, the corners of his mouth twitching. He allowed a fond smile to slip onto his face for a split second — only once Roman’s back was turned, of course — and then he shook it away and stepped up beside his brother. “You ready — wait, what was that?”

“What?” Roman asked quickly, head swiveling every-which-way. “What is it?”

“I saw something,” Remy said, voice slow, suspicious. He glared up at the sky, eyebrows furrowed. “Something flew across the moon.”

“Really?” Roman’s eyes grew wide as saucers. He craned his neck and stared at the sky. “Where? I wanna see! I —”

Remy pounced, scooping Roman up in his arms and spinning him around with a feral growl. Roman’s scream echoed around the street, quickly dissolving into giggles as Remy wiggled his fingers into Roman’s stomach. “Lemme go!” Roman cried between laughter. “You — you pumpkin-spiced dork!”

With one last twirl, Remy set him back down, and straightened his jacket. “Here,” he said, drawing a bag from his pocket. His mother had made him take it, as though he’d ever trick-or-treat — but now he was thankful he had it. At least Roman could make good use of it. “Shall we, hun?”

“We shall!” Roman took the offered bag with a toothy grin, and skipped down towards the nearest house. He slowed to a stop at the front gate, eyes widening, and Remy couldn’t blame him. It was massive.

“Rich people,” they said at the same time, raising their eyebrows in identical expressions of part awe, part disdain. Roman laughed.

“They’ll probably make us drink apple cider.”

“Cider’s delish, hun,” Remy said. “Besides, they’ve probably got the best candy. This whole neighborhood reeks of Gucci.”

Roman thought for a moment, and then nodded, his eyes lighting up. He marched down the driveway with all the conviction and excitement a nine-year-old on a sugar-high could muster, and ducked in through the open door.

“Woah,” Remy said softly as he stepped inside. It was like stepping straight (gay) into a Victorian painting or something. Marble floors, crystal chandeliers, and rich people galore, each dressed in flowing, ornate gowns or sharp tuxedos. A long, velvet-carpeted staircase spiraled up to the second floor, where a few lone figures stood, looking down at the party below.

He found Roman at a table in the main room, shoving handfuls of candy into his bag. There were three lollipop sticks sticking out of his mouth already. “Slow down, hun,” Remy said with a laugh, taking a witch-shaped chocolate pop and popping it in his mouth.

“Remy Sanders?”

He turned at the voice, halfway through biting the head off the chocolate witch, and froze. “Em —” He yanked the witch from his mouth and swallowed hard, pushing down the panicked laughter that threatened to spill from his mouth. “Emile?”

Emile — a vision, an angel, dressed in a long, cream-colored dress, laced with hints of the softest pink — laughed. “It is you! Do you how do?” he asked. “I thought you didn’t like Halloween?”

“Oh, I — I don’t,” Remy said, shoving his free hand into his pocket and trying to look as cool as possible. “I’m just taking my younger brother trick-or-treating.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet of you!” Emile gushed, placing a hand over his chest. Remy smirked.

“Yeah, I do it every year!”

“Our parents made him,” Roman said, voice flat. He pushed around Remy and smiled up at Emile, casting Remy a split-second look over his shoulder. The devious look in his eyes made Remy’s heart skip several beats. “I’m Roman! And you must be Emile. I’ve heard so much about you.”

The moment of brotherly love had passed; Remy once again wanted to strangle him. Emile raised an eyebrow. “And what have you heard, sweetheart?”

“Oh, you know.” Roman waved a hand dismissively, ignoring Remy’s pointed glare. “He likes your eyes, thinks he could drown in them. And your hair! He thinks it’s… what’s the word you used, Remy? Sexy?”

With a loud burst of panicked, pitchy laughter, Remy grabbed Roman and yeeted him behind him. “That’s! Enough sugar for you!” he managed, face burning bright red. “Kids and their imaginations, right?”

Emile hid his giggles behind his hand, his cheeks wonderfully pink. “Do you really like my hair?” he asked, a hint of mischief sparkling in his eyes, and wow, Remy was gay — and wow, he really wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole right then and there, anything to get out of that situation.

“I — uh — h —”

Emile giggled again, and Roman shot him the most chaotic smile he’d ever seen, a witch-pop shoved halfway in his mouth. “It’s okay,” Emile whispered to Remy, and he winked, he actually fucking winked, and if God was merciful at all She would have killed him right then and there. “Do you like witches, Roman?”

Roman’s eyes lit up. “I loff ‘em!” he said around a mouthful of witch-chocolate. “We jus’ learned ‘bout those brothers in school —”

“The Sanderson brothers?” Emile said in a rush, bouncing up and down excitedly. “I know all about them! I hyperfixated on ‘em for three years when I was younger!”

“That’s so cool!” Roman said, grinning.

“Have you seen the old Sanderson museum? My mom used to work there!”

“Isn’t it closed?” Remy asked, crossing his arms. He was just barely following the conversation; Emile was just as much of a dork as Roman was, and Remy only understood Roman’s rambles on weekends and holidays and all throughout May.

“Well…” Emile turned, drawing out the word slowly for dramatic effect. “I just might so happen to have a key.”

Remy and Roman shared a look. There was a hint of fear in Roman’s round eyes, a bit of apprehension as well — but Remy saw nothing but opportunity. “Why don’t we head over there?” he asked, and Emile’s face lit up.

“Oh! Oh, I’d love to!” He shimmied back and forth excitedly, his skirt swishing around him. “Lemme just go get changed!”

“Remy,” Roman hissed as soon as Emile was out of earshot. “I am not going to that spooky old museum. What about trick-or-treating?”

“Trick-or-treating is for children,” Remy sighed. “C’mon, girl. Let’s go cause some trouble.”

Roman narrowed his eyes. “You don’t wanna cause trouble,” he said. “You just wanna impress Mr. Sexy-Hair —”

“Stop calling him sexy!” Remy whispered, glancing around to make sure no one had heard. “I thought you were a Prince. Aren’t Princes supposed to be brave?”

Roman hesitated. “I…”

“Listen. I’ll do anything you want, okay? Just — let me have this.”

That got his attention. Roman smirked, his apprehension giving way to a truly evil delight. “Anything?” he repeated slowly, and Remy nodded, even as cold regret seeped into his lungs. “Perfect. Next year, I’m going as Peter Pan. You’re going to be my Tinker-bell.”

“What?”

“Or I could just refuse to go,” Roman said with a nonchalant shrug. “I could just make you take me home.”

“You’re, like, evil. You know that, right?”

Emile bounced back down the stairs, pushing the sleeves of his oversized sweater up. Forearms forearms forearms — Remy tore his eyes from Emile and glanced at Roman, who was gathering his things.

“Fine!” he growled, and Roman beamed, his bag swinging by his side. “I hate you.”

“Love you too,” Roman whispered. “Alright! Let’s go!”

“Wow, someone’s eager!” Emile said with a bright smile, twirling the keys around his finger again and again. “You ready, Remy?” he asked, catching Remy’s eyes.

“I —” Remy cleared his throat, forcing his voice at least three octaves deeper. “Witch, please. Of course I’m ready.”

It wasn’t much of a walk to the old Sanderson place, though Emile took his time, pointing out everything he loved about their little town along the way. Remy would never admit it, but… through Emile’s eyes, he started to almost — almost — like Salem.

The Sanderson Museum was a small, dilapidated cottage on the edge of town, hidden by a thick copse of trees. Remy wouldn’t have even noticed it, had it not been for the sign, hanging lopsidedly off one chain and displaying, through a layer of dust and disrepair, the Sanderson Brothers’ names.

“So this is where they used to live?” Roman asked, peering at the house. Uncertainty shook beneath his words, beneath the false layer of bravado he’d put on. Emile nodded, eyes alight with excitement as he unlocked the door.

“Yeppers! They would lure young children to this house and suck the life outta them to stay young forever. No one ever caught them in the act, until…”

“Logan Binx,” Remy said. “Right?”

“Yeah,” Emile said. As they stepped into the house, his voice became more subdued, more reverent. “They took his younger brother, Patton. Logan tried to get him back, but… he was too late. The Brothers cursed him to live forever as a cat, trapped with his guilt.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful,” Roman said, arms wrapped tightly around himself. He lingered in the doorway, eyebrows furrowed. “Can we go home now?”

Remy pretended not to hear him. He stepped up to a glass display case in the center of the shop and wiped away a thick layer of dust with his sleeves, eyes narrowed as he peered through the dirty glass.

“That’s their spellbook,” Emile whispered, leaning over his shoulder, his chest pressed into Remy’s side. Remy bit his tongue to keep from screaming. “Legend says it was given to them by Satan himself.”

“It looks like it’s bound in flesh,” Roman said, nose wrinkling in disgust.

“That’s because it is,” Emile said, and Roman took several steps back, shaking his head. He bumped into another display — an off-beige candle, held high atop a wrought-iron candelabra. He yelped, jerking away, and Remy caught him.

“I wanna go home,” Roman whispered.

Remy shook his head. “Not yet.”

“Peter Pan is not worth this,” Roman muttered to himself as Remy approached the candle, raising an eyebrow.

“The Black-Flame Candle,” Emile said. “The Brothers’ final spell. As they were about to be hanged, the eldest enacted a curse, tying their souls to this candle. On a Halloween night, when the moon is full... someone will light the candle, and summon the witches back to life.”

Roman glanced at the full moon outside. “Great. Wonderful.”

Remy smirked, quirking an eyebrow. It was all bullshit anyway — but it was bullshit he could have fun with. Bullshit he could use to get back at Roman for his sexy hair comments earlier, at least. He swiped a lighter from the counter and leaned against the post beside the candle, pulling his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose. “Well, then,” he said. “Why don’t we light it and meet ‘em?”

“Very funny, Remy,” Roman said. He wasn’t laughing.

“Come on, girl, where’s your sense of adventure?” Remy flicked open the lighter; the flame danced, though there wasn’t any wind. “Let’s —”

A blur of black and a hideous yowl, and suddenly he was on the ground. He shoved blindly with a cry of fright and scrambled to his feet just in time to see a black cat slink back into the shadows.

“Are you okay?” Emile asked, rushing to his side. “Great Googly Moogly, that was spooky… we should go, Remy.”

“No, come on!” Remy brushed off his jacket and reopened the lighter. He wasn’t about to let some stupid superstitions keep him from wreaking a little havoc. He lifted the lighter to the candle —

“Remy, no!” Roman cried —

And the whole house began to shake.

Darkness crawled up the flame, staining it deeply, impossibly black — and one by one, each light in the house burst, sending shards of glass flying. Remy leaped across the room and wrapped his arms around Roman, squeezing his eyes shut as flames burst to life to replace the broken bulbs. He reached across the room and Emile took his hand and held tight as the floor began to break beneath them, poisonous green light spilling out beneath the cracks. Laughter echoed around them — inside them, spinning through Remy’s head in maddening whirl —

The door burst off its hinges and landed with a crash at their feet. Remy yanked them behind the counter in a blind panic, his heart pounding. Holy shit, he thought, as the laughter solidified, as three shadows stretched across the floor.

He peeked around the corner of the counter. Three figures stood in the doorway, framed by smoke and moonlight — one in robes of deep, emerald green, with a thick mustache curled across his face; another in a long, patched purple dress, a cloak wrapped around his shoulders and drawn up over his face, so only his glowing purple eyes were visible —

And the leader. A man in yellow and black, with one glowing golden eye and a face covered in yellow-green scales. He took a deep breath, eyes slipping shut, a venomous smile growing on his face.

“Brothers,” he whispered, in a voice like a thousand hissing snakes. “We’re home.”