#I really need to make an actual cover for this playlist don’t I…

[withwritersblock]

Am I Okay?

~Am I Okay? Megan Moroney~

Author's Note: Requested! I rewrote this like six times and I don't really vibe with it but I hope yall enjoy it! Am I posting this at midnight yes do I care a little bit but oh well Summary: Y/N and Luke fall in love Warnings: smut! smut! smut! MDNI!! swearing Word Count: 9,059 Luke Hughes x fm!reader

It was still dark outside but it usually was when she first got to work. The early morning shift was her favorite to work. Opening the coffee shop at six in the morning alone was her favorite part of the day. The sunrise always managed to shine through the windows. The pink and blue hues were breathtaking. 

It was usually quiet in the mornings, for the first hour and a half she would see maybe eight customers total. After eight in the morning, she would see thirty customers in an hour. But the first two hours she would be alone and she preferred it that way. 

The eight customers that would come in at that time were all the same, always on the walk towards their jobs. Specifically one guy who would always walk in few minutes after they opened. He showed up nearly every day that he was in town, always got a basic coffee he could probably make in his apartment but the fifteen dollar tip was enough to not question it. 

The playlist she put on was catered to her own music taste, her co-worker that usually shows up at eight changes it to the usuall coffee shop eroma. 

She poured the espresso shots into the iced plastic cup in front of her. She finished her latte with whole milk and carmel syrup. The small set of chims near the door rang and she spun around to see her regular Jack walking inside. His head covered in a black beanie and his usual long black coat. 

“Good morning Jack,” she said with a soft smile on her lips. He grinned widely as he glanced behind him before he walked up to the register. 

“Morning, Y/N,” he said as he looked up towards the menu pretending to search for something else to order. He always got the same drink. 

“The usual?” she asked as she started tapping on the Ipad. The chims went off as another man walked into the shop. She lifted her gaze and her heart jumped into her throat.

“Yeah and whatever my little brother is gonna get,” Jack expressed, looking behind him to see his little brother entering the shop. 

She met his eyes, they were tired as it was not for the weak to be out on the town this early. His lips curled upward as he met her gaze. His curly hair was hidden by a backwards hat. He walked up towards the counter and it was getting harder and harder to breathe for her. 

“Lukey, this is Y/N,” Jack said, pulling her attention back towards him. Swallowing hard, she realized that she needed to breathe because she was not sure if she was actually doing it or not. Luke nodded as he pressed his lips together as he looked up towards the menu.

Y/N scanned his features, he was tall and the soft smile on his lips was intoxicating. It was too early in the morning for her to feel dizzy. Her gaze looked down towards the Ipad, trying not to stare at him too long.

“Do you have anything that’s not coffee?” Luke asked shyly. Jack chuckled while rolling his eyes, he crossed his arms over his chest. 

She fought off a smirk forming to her lips, she glanced behind her towards the menu. “We have hot chocolate,” she mumbled. Luke’s smile widened. He squinted his eyes for a moment.

“I guess I’ll take a hot chocolate,” he said as he dragged his hand across his chin. Jack rolled his eyes as he handed Y/N his card. She finished putting in their orders and she completed the order. She spun the Ipad for the tip screen as she walked away from it to start making their drinks.

“Fucking, really?” Jack teased as he shoved Luke away. Luke chuckled as he shook his head. 

“I don’t drink coffee, asshole,” Luke muttered as they both stood awkwardly in the center of the shop. Y/N smiled to herself as she began to pour the coffee into the to go cup. After another minute Jack’s coffee was done and so was Luke’s hot chocolate. 

She placed the cups onto the counter, “How long are you visiting Jack?” she asked softly as she looked up and met Luke’s gaze. Luke’s cheeks flushed red as he glanced towards Jack.

“He’s playing his first game with the Devils in a few days,” Jack said proudly. Her eyes widened as she met Jack’s gaze for a moment before she looked back towards Luke.

“That’s awesome, I forget this hockey thing is a family thing,” she let out shortly as she tried to find the words. The boys chuckled, Luke brought his hot chocolate towards his lips and took a small sip.

“You should watch it,” Jack teased as he patted his hand against Luke’s shoulder. Luke turned his head and met her gaze, he smiled softly as he dropped his gaze towards the floor.

“I’ll think about it,” she mumbled as she watched the pair leave the coffee shop. Spinning around, she leaned against the counter, widening her eyes. “Oh my god,” she muttered barely above a whisper.

~~~

She returned to her on-campus apartment after shift. Her twin brother and roommate Ashton was sitting on the couch with his computer in his lap. Glancing towards her, he didn’t say anything beside waving towards her. He leaned forward mouthing something he was reading.

She pulled her coat from her frame and hung it near the front door. Stepping further into the apartment, Ashton glanced towards her. He took note of the smile on her face. It was always hit or miss on her mood after coming home from work. But she never had a smile on her face paired with silence. Usually she steps into the apartment and starts talking instantly.

There was a soft hum falling from her lips as she headed towards her bedroom. Ashton placed his computer beside him as he followed towards her suspiciously. She stood in her room humming a song as she was collecting a new outfit to change into after her shower. Ashton stood in the doorway watching her. 

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked. Turning around, she jumped.

“Damn, Ash, you can’t just sneak up to someone like that,” she said while shaking her head. Raising her hands up she took a hold of her hair and pulled it from the updo she had.

“Why are you smiling like that?” he pressed as he continued to scan her features. She shook her head as she fought off a grin. “You’re face is doing something weird,” he pointed his finger towards her face. She smacked his hand away from her face as she let out a chuckle. She took in a deep breath as she rolled her eyes. His eyes widened as his mouth fell open, “Oh,” he let out knowingly.

“Oh, what?” she asked while crossing her arms over her chest, the grin still toying to her lips.

He nodded as he started walking backwards slowly, “No, I get it,” he said omniously.

“What?” she let out, a chuckle leaving her throat.

“Did you meet someone interesting today?” Ashton teased as he was still stepping backwards.

“Please leave,” she said as she giggled. Ashton threw his head back leaving as he headed down the hall towards the living room. Y/N shut the door as she turned around taking in a shaky breath. 

She pulled her phone from her pocket to look up his Instagram, if it was public what was the harm in that? Jack followed her on Instagram, which was not entirely strange as she has her own social media presence. She was a popular Tiktoker that had a decent following on Instagram too. So his fans did not find it weird that he was following her. 

She opened Luke’s Instagram and smiled towards the most recent photo set. It was his goodbye to UMich, she smiled to herself as she continued to look through the photo set.

~~~

A few days later, she was sitting in the living room with her brother and his friends watching the Devils game. Usually, she would only sit in if the game was a playoff game. Her brother was more into football until he met his college friends. They all would come over to watch the games. Which was nearly every night.

She sat on the floor, a blanket practically submerging her frame. Her brother and his four friends were tipsy and the game hadn’t even started yet. Despite it being a Tuesday, they felt that it was important for them to drink. 

Ashton knew that Jack was a regular at Y/N’s job and he always teased her about him. But she always brushed it off because she didn’t see him like that. But Luke on the other hand, she has not stopped thinking about him since she met him the other morning.

“Y/N, any reason you’re joining us tonight?” Ashton teased as he pulled the blanket from her head. She huffed as she took a hold of it and covered her head again.

“Got nothing better to do,” she mumbled.

“You sure it’s got nothing to do with-”

“Ashton,” she scolded as she smacked his shoulder. The boys erupted in ooooohs and she sunk deeper into the blanket. 

“What about that regular of yours?” Ashton further teased as he stood up from the floor to avoid getting hit again. The boys started yelling again as the first period was starting for the Devils.

“Ash, let it go!” she let out while laughing. 

“Jack Hughes is a regular at her coffee shop,” he let out as he ran away towards the kitchen, for protection. 

“Shut the fuck up!” Ashton’s best friend Logan said loudly.  The boys all cheered as if a goal was just scored.

Y/N planted her face into her hands, her face flushing. She lifted her head towards the screen to see the broadcast showing Luke on the bench. She dropped her gaze back into her hands. 

“If I tell you, will you leave it alone?” she said as her face was still in her hands. They all cheer loudly together. Ashton jogged back towards the couch and sat on the floor beside his sister. She took in a deep breath as she tilted her head back. “I met Luke Hughes, that’s all,” she let out barely above a whisper. They erupted in oooohs again and she sunk her head into her hands. “That’s all, I swear!” she mumbled against her hands.

“I fucking knew it,” Ashton said as tapped his hand against her shoulder.

“Can we just watch the game?” she questioned pointing towards the screen, just at the point when Luke appeared on the screen. They all started laughing.

“This is going to be fun,” Ashton teased.

~~~

She did not see Luke or Jack for several months after that. It was playoffs and Luke most likely went back to Michigan since he was not eligible to play. The last playoff run, Jack didn’t come into the coffee shop once. It was probably because he was sleeping in to get as much rest as possible.

But she was in a new school year, with the same hours. She would work from six in the morning to noon and have afternoon classes after that. She was always busy but it was better than over thinking. 

For the first time in months, the chims went off and she spun around to see Jack and Luke trailing behind him. She clenched her jaw to avoid showing a wide toothy grin. A little crush was not going to get in the way of her favorite regular. Jack was always super kind and an amazing way to start the day. She refused to let her little crush on his little brother change that.

Until he smiled a sleepy grin towards her. Suddenly her plan backfired and she grinned towards them.

“Welcome back boys,” she muttered while walking towards the register. Forcing her gaze towards Jack, she saw a smirk on his lips. Ignoring it, she started typing in Jack’s usual. 

“How have you you been?” Jack asked crossing his arms over his chest. She lifted her gaze, not really used to being asked that question.

“I’ve been good, I worked doubles all summer so I’m happy to be back on my normal schedule,” she explained glancing towards Luke. He hasn’t wavered his gaze from the moment he stepped into the shop. Jack nodded while glancing towards Luke, he rolled his eyes playfully.

“You gonna order or just stare at her?” Jack teased as he punched Luke’s arm. Luke chuckled as he rubbed the spot Jack hit. She pursed her lips forward as she met Luke’s gaze for the third time in a matter of two minutes.

“Right, yeah, I’ll take a-” he trailed off as his eyes scanned the menu, “Lemonade,” he mumbled. Jack rolled his eyes while pulling out his wallet. 

She grinned as she typed it into the Ipad before she spun it towards Jack, a new pay system was put into place over the summer.

“So, is this a new thing? You’re here for good?” she asked as she started pouring Jack’s coffee. 

“Hopefully, got to make it through training camp and pre-season,” Luke explained while crossing his arms over his chest. 

“He will,” Jack offered as he continued to nudge and lightly shove Luke. She thought it was for the best to ignore them and stay in her bubble. She set aside Jack’s drink before she started to pour out Luke’s lemonade.

“That’s good, I’ll keep an eye on the games,” she expressed as she added a lid to the lemonade. 

She took a hold of the drinks and spun around to hand the drinks towards the boys. She handed Jack his drink first, since it was burning her hand. Jack smiled gratefully towards her as he immediately brought it towards his mouth. Meeting Luke’s gaze she handed him the drink, their fingertips brushed against each other’s skin for a moment. Pressing her lips together, she quickly brought her hands towards herself.

“Maybe you should come to one of them,” Luke offered, it was obvious the words fell out of his mouth faster than he intended. Maybe the words left his mouth when he didn’t want them to. Jack brought the drink towards his lips, glancing towards Luke for a moment before looking back towards Y/N. 

“Yeah, I’d like that,” she mumbled as she met his gaze. Their eyes remained connected for a few seconds before Jack let out a long drawn out breath.

“This is the part where you give her your number,” Jack mumbled before stepping away from them, chuckling. Luke clenched his jaw as he fought the grin forming to his lips. His cheeks pinked up as he shook his head slightly. 

“I was getting there,” he let out while laughing. He glanced behind him to see Jack wandering towards the door. She let out a giggle as she pulled her phone from her pocket. 

“Seriously, Y/N, he hasn’t stopped asking about you,”

‘Jack,” he let out while he took a hold of her phone to type his number into her phone. She smiled towards Luke as he handed her phone back towards her. She quickly typed a simply hi before she slipped it back into her pocket. “I’ll see you,” he muttered before he stumbled away towards Jack. He shoved him out of the door.

“You’re a real dick, you know that?” she heard Luke say as they both left the shop at the same time.

She spun around, leaning against the counter and shut her eyes. Raising her hand up, she delicately tapped her skin against her cheek to feel heat practically radiating from her skin. “Oh my god,” she mumbled.

It didn’t take long for the shop to get busy after the boys left. In the middle of a rush, her work best friend, Tommy, jogged inside. Usually, it was busy when Tommy got there but not nearly a line out the door busy. He always blamed it on the back to school students in dire need of a coffee.

“Girl, how are you alive?” Tommy said as he took a plastic cup and read the ingredients before he started making the drink.

“I’m running on pure adrenaline,” she expressed as she began to steam some milk. 

“Oh it’s Semptember, let me guess-” he mumbled. She swated his hand as she began to finish the drink, “Oh definitely the pretty boys,” he let out teasingly. 

“Later,” she mumbled with a giggle leaving her lips.

After thirty minutes the line finally died down and there was no one waiting on a drink. The shop was full to the brim of people with laptops and enjoying a drink. She was cleaning the counters while Tommy was also cleaning a few of the machines. It was a disaster.

Tommy brought his iced coffee towards his lips as he leaned against the counter, slowly wiping it. She fought the grin forming to her lips as she stared towards the coffee grounds spilled in front of her.

“Okay fine,” she muttered as she lifted her gaze to meet Tommy’s. She pulled her phone from her back pocket and held it up to show the unread message from Luke. He leaned towards it and read it. Widening his eyes, his mouth fell open.

“No way,” he let out. She spun the phone back towards herself to read the hey he replied with. She grinned as she shut the screen off. 

She went into detail about what happened, excruciating details about how he looked at her, how his cheeks flushed red. Tommy was obsessed with it because every shift he would walk in and expect her to have some information about it but she had none. She was a little miserable about not seeing him.

It was a little embarrassing how often they were chatting and a customer was waiting, but the little five minute encounter was on replay until she left. She texted with him a few times throughout the morning but she could only do so much while she was working.

~~~

Tonight she was going to the game with Ashton and Tommy. It was the first preseason game in October. Since Luke did not play a home game during September, and she only wanted to go to see him. 

Every morning that Jack and Luke were in town they would stop inside the coffee shop. Luke would stick around for a while waiting for the next set of customers to come in. Jack would get his coffee and leave. She would spent an hour trying to convince him to try a sip of her coffee but he would still refuse. Her mornings felt lonely without him but he always kept her entertained when he was there. 

Her brother was driving the three of them towards the arena, dealing with awful traffic the whole way there. She was annoyed that he wanted to leave two hours before puck drop but apparently he was right. It was awful when Ashton was right because he never let her live it down. 

“I cannot believe we are going to this game because of you,” Ashton said while he watched the light turn green, except they didn’t move. “You better let me meet the guy at least,” he begged quietly. 

She rolled her eyes as she glanced towards Tommy for a moment before she looked out of the window watching the rain hit the window. “Maybe,” she mumbled. Her phone vibrated in her pocket. Pulling it out she saw a text from Luke saying, Stick around after the game, I wanna see you. Nico will stick around too so your brother can meet him. She lifted her gaze glancing towards her brother before she quickly typed an excited reply.

It took nearly another hour before they were parked in the arena. Luke was able to get them lower bowl seats on center ice. He didn’t want them close to the glass, felt like too much pressure; even if it was just preseason.

The seats were starting to get full by the time they arrived, the game was starting soon. They found their seats and Ashton was starting to fan girl. “Do you think we can sit here during the regular season? This is awesome,” Ashton let out as he was adjusting the Hischer jersey on his frame. Tommy sat down, shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth. 

She sat in the middle of them, awkwardly glancing around the arena. She’s been to a few games when she was a kid but now it felt completely different. Especially since she was told to stay after the game and he’ll meet up with her after. He even offered that her brother and Tommy could stick around too. She didn’t tell them that. She wanted it to be a surprise for Ashton, Tommy could care less. He was just along for the ride.

The team emerged onto the ice and puck drop started. Even for a preseason game the fans were ecstatic for the whole night. Suddenly it became obvious that she was obsessed with the game. It helped that she had someone to search for the whole night.

Her brother would explain the game to her and Tommy but they were still confused. Tommy was just enjoying the snacks the whole time. Ashton was screaming for every goal, high fiving every person around them. The entire game she was following Luke’s movements because he was the reason she was there afterall. 

After the game, both Ashton and Tommy stood up to get ready to leave but she remained seated. Ashton looked down and furrowed his eyebrows. “Get your ass up, let’s go,” Ashton said while waving his hands. She shook her head while staring ahead, a grin toying to her lips. “Come on, dude, I’m tired,” he whined.

“Too tired to meet the captain?” she teased. His mouth fell open as he immediately sat back down. Tommy chuckled as he sat back down, bringing his seltzer towards his lips.

“Do I get to meet Luke?” Tommy asked as he leaned towards her, raising his eyebrows. She nodded. 

Luke texted her letting her know that he was having someone come and grab them. It took another ten minutes before a security guard walked towards them asking to see her ID. She showed it to him and he guided them towards the lower level to meet up with the boys. 

The entire walk down towards the parking garage where the players exited the locker room to, Ashton was talking about how he was going to introduce himself to Nico. Y/N had to calm him down multiple times on their journey down there.

Luke, Jack, and Nico were waiting outside the door. They were all wearing matching t-shirts and shorts while laughing. Luke was the first one to look towards the three of them walking towards them. He smiled widely and led the charge towards them. He walked up to her and hugged her instantly. Her entire body erupted in flames as he engulfed her in a hug. Jack punched his hand against Nico’s arm as he was teasing Luke behind his back. 

“Um- Luke, this is my brother Ashton and my friend Tommy,” she said as Luke reluctantly pulled away from her. Luke reached his hand out towards Ashton first. Ashton shyly took a hold of it, all of his talk about what he was going to say to them disappeared. Luke shook his hand before he shifted his gaze towards Tommy, holding out his hand for him.

Tommy furrowed his eyebrows as he scanned Luke’s features before he shook his hand. Jack jumped in front of Luke to introduce himself to Ashton and Tommy with Nico.

“Ashton, nice to meet you man,��� Y/N over heard Nico say as Luke took a hold of her hand and guided her way from the group for a moment. Lifting her gaze she met his eye and smiled softly.

“Did you enjoy the game?” he asked softly as he scanned her features. His cheeks were flushed red as he was pressing his lips together. She nodded while looking into his eyes.

“It was fun, thank you for letting me bring them,” she mumbled as she glanced towards Ashton and Tommy. Tommy was talking with Jack, laughing as they spoke. Ashton was still fangirling with Nico, taking a selfie as they looked over to them.

“Of course,” he mumbled.

~~~

It had been a month since they started dating back at the end of October. Luke was returning home from a roadtrip and she was over the moon. She was tired of waiting for him to call on FaceTime and fall asleep minutes later, she needed to see him. 

She was starting to fall for him deeply, something she didn’t want to do. She’s been afraid of falling in love for years but something about Luke made it easy. He was on his way over to her apartment and she was awaiting him.

Ashton walked out of his bedroom and smiled towards her as he walked towards the kitchen, “I’m ordering a pizza, will your boyfriend want any?” he asked.

“Yes please,” she sing-songed. 

“Okay, so I’ll order three pizzas,” he said teasingly. She rolled her eyes. He chuckled as he pulled his phone towards his ear and started to make the order. He opened the fridge and stared inside as he waited for it to ring. 

It took another fifteen minutes before there was a loud knock on the door. Ashton stood up from the stool he was sitting in near the kitchen. He wandered towards the door, with some specific intentions. She could tell by the dramatics he did while pulling the door open. 

Luke’s eyes widened when he saw Ashton instead of Y/N but he forced a smile on his face while he stepped inside. 

“Hey man,”

“Ordered a pizza,” Ashton said as he looked Luke up and down as Luke stepped inside.

She jumped up from the couch and walked towards him, watching his grin go from fearful to genuine in a matter of a second. Luke reached his hand around her waist, pulling her towards him.

“Come on,” she whispered as she guided him towards her bedroom. Ashton stood in the room, staring suspiciously. They walked down the hallway, “Sorry,” she mumbled towards him. He chuckled softly as they stepped into her room together. She shut the door behind him as she met his gaze. 

“Missed you,” he mumbled as he took a hold of her waist. A wide toothy grin formed to her lips as she took small steps behind her towards her bed. Her legs hit the mattress before she turned around and laid down. Luke looked down towards her, grinning before he climbed over her to lay beside her. “I heard there was pizza on the way?” he asked as he laid facing her. 

Turning her gaze, she met his eye before she leaned towards him, delicately kissing him.

“I’ve missed you too,” she muttered against his lips. A hum fell from his lips while he took a hold of her cheek. Rubbing his thumb across her skin, he watched her eyes shut slowly. Luke leaned towards her, pressing his lips against hers. Waiting for her to part her lips to give him access.

Parting her lips, he slipped his tongue into hers as she glided her fingers through his hair. Climbing on top of her, he rested his hands on either side of her head. 

After a few seconds, there was a loud knock against her door. Luke pulled away, interlocking his fingers as he leaned on his elbow to prop himself up.

“What,” she let out, Ashton pushed the door open, leaning against the door frame. 

He stared towards them for a few long awkward seconds before he let out slowly, “Luke Hughes,”

Chuckling softly, “Ashton Y/L/N,” he said as he fought a grin forming to his lips.

“You travel a lot for work, don’t yeah?” Ashton started as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Dropping his head, he let out another laugh, “Yes I do.”

“You behaving?” Ashton said while raising his eyebrows.

“Ashton,” she scolded. 

“Serious question, Y/N. You must have a lot of groupies being a Hughes boy,” he let out taking a step into the room.

“Ashton, you’ve got nothing to worry about,” he let out as he shifted his gaze towards her. She met his gaze, suddenly self conscious of what Ashton was talking about.

“Don’t you have a pizza to go pick up?” she mumbled while looking towards Ashton wide eyed. Ashton met her gaze and scanned her features for a moment before he squinted his eyes suspiciously. 

“Don’t fuck this up and make me hate the Devils, alright?” he let out before he left the room, shutting hte door in the process. 

Luke looked towards her as she let out a nervous laugh, she shoved her face into her pillow. He chuckled as he took a hold of her waist, trying to make her lift her gaze to meet his eye. “You know, I mean that right? Nothing to worry about, I literally live in that hotel bed sleeping most of the time I’m gone,” 

She lifted her gaze and looked into his eye and nodded. “Yeah,” she mumbled as he took a hold of her cheek, running his thumb across her skin. 

“Yeah?” he let out, somewhat teasingly. 

“Yeah,” she whispered. He smirked before he leaned towards her kissing her delicately. He leaned his forehead against hers for a second, “I mean you do have a lot of groupies,” she teased. 

“Yeah, but you’re my favorite,” he muttered, fighting a smirk forming to his lips. Her mouth fell open as her eyes widened. Pulling away, a chuckle fell from her lips. Luke took a hold of the small of her back, pulling her back towards him. He shook his head slightly before leaning towards her devouring her lips.

“I am not a groupie,” she muttered as she climbed onto his lap. His hands started gliding up and down the backs of her thighs. She continued to kiss him urgently. He hummed against her lips as she tilted her head back, scanning his features.

“Still my favorite,” he muttered as he slowly opened his eyes. She squinted her eyes as she fought the smirk toying on her lips. His hands climbed higher and higher up her frame.

She slowly climbed off of his frame, a pout falling on his lips as she wandered towards the door. She twisted the lock before she walked towards him. He bit his bottom lip as he scanned her features.

“What are you thinking?” he asked her as propped himself up on his elbows. She shook her head slightly as she slowly climbed onto his lap again. He rested his hands onto her hips. He rubbed his hands delicately against the fabric of her shirt.

“I’m thinking-” she trailed off before she leaned down and kissed him. 

Loud bangs hit against her door again, “Pizza’s here!” Ashton shouted through the door. She sat up staring down towards Luke, a huff leaving his lips. 

“I thought he ordered it for pickup,” she muttered as she climbed off of his lap, he chuckled. Falling onto her back, a pout fell to her lips.

“It’s alright, my love,” he let out as he slowly stood up from the bed. Waiting for her to follow him, she still laid in protest. Holding out his hand towards her, she reluctantly took a hold of it.

~~~

The following morning, Tommy showed up at the same time as the new trainee Brianna. Today was her second shift with Tommy and Y/N. Tommy adored Brianna while Y/N was still warming up to her. It was always overstimulating for her to train someone and Tommy knew that first hand. Which is why he was taking point on the process. 

“You are so tense today, I thought Luke came over last night,” Tommy teased as he nudged his elbow against her arm. She rolled her eyes playfully while she vigorously cleaned the machine in front of her. “Oh damn, what happened?” 

“We didn’t-” she trialed off as she let out a huff of air. 

“Still?” he let out loudly. She turned around, glaring towards him. He chuckled as he glanced towards Brianna. It was obvious she was listening in. “Brianna, if you’re going to be working with us, you’ll need to get in on this,” he said, pulling her towards the conversation.

“Tom,” Y/N scolded while laughing. “She doesn’t need to know about my sex life,”

“What else do we talk about when we’re here?!” he let out while laughing. “Her and her boyfriend haven’t had sex yet,” he let out.

“Oh my god,” she mumbled while she covered her face with her hands. Brianna’s eyes lit up as she glanced towards Y/N.

“They’ve been together for a month and nothing,” he said while leaning towards Brianna.

“Okay, Tommy when was the last time you had sex?” she deflected while chuckling.

“Last night, thank you,” he let out confidently. Both Brianna and Y/N eyes widened as their mouths fell open. “But we’re not talking about me, we’re talking about Y/N. What is taking you so long?” he teased. 

“Brianna, my boyfriend and I live with our brothers. And they love interrupting us before we get a chance to get anywhere,” she explained.

“Well, is there a Devils game this weekend?” Tommy asked. 

“Friday,” 

“Okay so see if Luke can get them tickets and then you’ll have an empty apartment,” Tommy said confidently. Y/N squinted her eyes as she stared toward him.

“Really think about that Tom,” she said while fighting a laugh rising in her throat. The chimes rang and they shifted their gaze towards the door. Jack led the charge like he always does with Luke trailing behind him. Brianna stared towards them, her mouth agape.

Y/N smiled widely as she met Luke’s gaze. “Hi, she muttered as she continued to look into his eyes. Brianna shifted her gaze towards Tommy, looking for assistance. 

“Oh!” Tommy let out while laughing, he shook his head as he started making Jack’s coffee. “Y/N, take your fifteen,” Tommy expressed. She nodded.

“What are you guys doing here?” she asked as she pointed towards the empty table at the corner of the shop. He nodded as he followed towards her it. They sat down together, he pulled the chair towards him. Resting his hand onto the inside of her thigh as he pulled her closer to him.

“We’ve got a game at three,” he let out. Her eyes widened as she took a hold of his arm.

“Oh my god, that’s right, I forgot I’m sorry,” she mumbled. He shook his head as he pursed his lips forward.

“It’s okay, Jack needed caffeine, he couldn’t nap,” he explained. She nodded as she scanned his features. “His girlfriend is back in town, so he’ll be staying there tonight,” he mumbled, meeting her gaze. She hummed as she met his gaze suspiciously.

“Empty apartment?” she asked teasingly. He nodded.

“Thank god,” she muttered before she leaned towards him, pecking his lips. He chuckled as he glanced towards Jack who was walking towards them.

“Hate to interrupt but we gotta head out Lukey,” Jack muttered as he pursed his lips forward.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a second,” he said. Jack nodded as he walked out towards the exit. “Will you be at the game?” he questioned. She nodded. 

“Ash will drop me off and I’m meeting up with Reanne,” she explained. He smiled before he pecked her lips.

“I’ll see you after then,” he let out while raising his eyebrows as he walked away towards the door. She leaned back into her chair staring towards the door watching them leave.

Brianna still stood dumbfounded at the center of the register. Her gaze shifted towards Y/N, who was walking back towards the counter. “I know way too much about-” she started before she shook her head. 

Tommy barked out a laugh before he patted his hand against her back, “The timing of that was insane,” he choked out.

~~~

The game ended with a win for the Devils, the first win in three games. Throughout the game, her mind was racing with the idea of what their plan was for later that night. She’s not used to having pressure on having sex with a partner. Usually, it came up naturally or it happened before they even got together. Something about Luke and how he made her feel, she wanted their first time to be perfect.

But now she was just nervous, almost like it was her first time ever. She sat in Luke’s car as he was pulling out of the parking garage, not once bringing up their previously discussed plans. She didn’t know if he wasn’t up for it or didn’t want to put any pressure on her. 

“Everyone going good with the other girls?” he asked as they stopped at a red light directly out of the arena. Tilting his head to the side, he met her gaze. She nodded.

“They’ve been super welcoming,” she expressed.

He smiled widely as he reached his hand over, taking a hold of her hand, “Good, I’m glad,” he muttered as he rubbed his thumb across her skin. “Are you hungry?” he asked. She nodded, shifting her gaze towards the traffic in front of her. Furrowing his eyebrows, he took in a sharp breath before pulled his phone from hsi cup holder. He pulled up his Doordash app and handed towards her. Traffic was still taking forever.

“You’re the best,” she mumbled as she happily took a hold of it and started scrolling through the options. He chuckled as he started driving ahead. 

The drive took another twenty minutes before they stepped into Luke’s apartment complex and the food she ordered for them was waiting for them to arrive. He happily took a hold of the food and guided her towards the elevator to lead them up to his apartment. He stood with the take out container in his hands, side eyeing her every soft often.

Squinting her eyes, she turned and looked over towards him suspiciously. “Why is your face doing that?” she asked while laughing. He pursed his lips forward as his cheeks turned bright red. 

“Nothing,” he muttered as the elevator doors opened to his floor. He stepped out first, holding out his hand towards her. She giggled as she took a hold of it and let him guide her towards his apartment. He stepped up towards the door and unlocked it, pushing inside. 

They stepped inside, surprised to see the light on. To their surprise, Jack and his girlfriend were sitting on the couch watching a movie. “Lukey, hey!” Jack said happily as he perked up. Luke clenched his jaw as he rested their take out food on the counter. He protectively wrapped his arm around her waist. 

“Hey, thought you guys were going to her place tonight,” Luke asked flatly. Y/N pressed her lips together as she started to take their chinese food out of the bag. 

“We changed our minds, traffic would’ve been too bad heading to her place,” he explained as he sat up slightly. Luke nodded silently as he took a hold of the containers and the plastic silverware before he tiled his head to the side. Y/N nodded as she followed him towards his bedroom. He opened the door allowing her to step inside. 

She climbed onto the bed, crossing her legs, she rested the container in front of her. Luke twisted the lock before he followed her in pursuit. Luke let out a groan as he flipped open his container. 

“I swear,” he muttered before he ripped open his silverware. Y/N chuckled while rolling her eyes. 

“At least he’ll be occupied,” she teased. He chuckled as he tilted his head back.

“Yeah hopefully,” he said while laughing. 

He pulled up Grey’s Anatomy, the tv show that they watch together. He’s never seen and it and it’s her favorite to watch his reactions to the episodes. They were still only on season two.

They sat silently while they ate and watched the show together, glancing towards one another every so often. His cheeks were flushed red. She could tell their minds were busy but she didn’t mind. She loved just being with him. 

“Question,” he asked while tapping his hand against her thigh. She shifted her gaze towards him, her heart pounding out of her chest. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Because you’ve got this-” he trailed off as he pointed towards the pout on her lips. Her lips curled upward into a smile. “There’s my girl,” he mumbled, a smirk on his lips. 

“I’m sorry,” she whined through her smile, “I am just nervous,” she muttered before she brought a bite of food to her mouth.

“Nervous?” he asked as he scanned her frame. His eyes widened as realization sunk in. “Why?” he asked as he jammed his fork into his food. A smirk toyed to his lips. 

She swallowed her food before pursing her lips forward, “I just feel pressured to make this happen,” she explained motioning between them. He furrowed his eyebrows as he placed his food beside him. He scooted towards her.

“From me?” his voice got quiet.

“No,” she let out instantly, a chuckle falling from her lips. “From me mostly an-and Tommy but mostly me. I never really cared this much before, feels weird,” she let out, avoiding his gaze. 

He smirked as he tilted his head to the side, trying to meet her gaze. “W-Why do you care so much?” he asked barely above a whisper. She pouted as she tilted her head back. His eyes widened as he fought a grin forming to his lips. 

“Stop looking at me like that,” she whined.

“It’ll happen when it happens,” he said softly. She rolled her eyes playfully.

“You’re such a dork,” she whispered. He grinned widely.

~~~

His hand was wrapped around her waist tightly, gripping her to his side as they waited for the elevator doors open. His hand started bunching the fabric of her dress in his hands. A giggle fell from her lips as the doors opened, he rested his hands on both of her hips as he guided her out of the elevator. “Luke,” she let out barely above a whisper. 

He brushed her hair away from her neck, pressing his lips against her skin for a moment as she began to unlock the door to her apartment. He continued to kiss the skin against her shoulder as she giggled. “Luke.” He pulled away, still resting his hands onto her waist. 

She pushed the apartment open and he excitedly pushed them inside. The door shut behind them as he excitedly pushed her against the door. Her eyes widened as she took in a deep breath. Her lips curled upward into a wide grin.

At some point, her heels were kicked off of her feet. She doesn’t remember when or how but she didn’t care.

“I’m so glad Ash is out of town,” she mumbled, looking into his eyes. He took a hold of her waist as he scanned her features. 

“Oh me too,” he mumbled before he took a hold of her neck as pulled her towards him, kissing her urgently. She hummed against his lips as she took a hold of the suit jacket covering his frame and pulled him closer. He glided his hands down her frame, he took a hold of her thighs as she jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. 

Her body erupted into flames as his hands gripped her thighs tightly as he guided her towards her room. Still holding her up, he took a hold of the door and pushed it open. He delicately lowered her body onto her bed, she smiled up towards him as she scooted higher up on the bed. 

He bit his bottom lip as he pulled the suit jacket away from his frame, tossing it to the floor. He brought his hands up and unbuttoned the first button before he climbed on top of her. He instantly connected their lips again as she took a hold of the buttons on his shirt, trying to unbutton them. 

“My dress,” she mumbled against his lips. 

“Is very hot,” he muttered as he started trailing his lips along her jawline, down towards her neck.

“No,” she said while giggling, she took a hold of his cheeks, forcing his gaze on hers. His eyes widened as he grinned slightly. “I mean, can you help me take it off?” she asked softly. He nodded instantly. 

Slowly leaning back, she followed in pursuit. Their eyes remained connected the whole time. She slowly climbed off of the bed, standing in front of him. Taking a small step, she faced away from him. Her hair was laid across her back, slowly she took a hold of it and pulled it across her shoulder. 

Luke raised his hand up and delicately took a hold of the zipper. Slowly, he glided it down to expose her skin. His fingers were hesitantly gliding along her skin. He took a hold of the straps to push the dress from her body. Her body were covered in goosebumps as took a hold of her waist, slowly turning her around to face him. Her body was still covered by her black lace underwear.

His fingertips glided along the fabric over her underwear. Biting her bottom lip, she took a hold of his shoulders. Her hands glided along the fabric as she met his eye, “Your turn,” she whispered. His eyes lit up as he scanned her frame.

“My turn?” he questioned softly. She hummed as she reached towards the buttons for him. He leaned back on his hands as she leaned towards him, slowly unbuttoning the shirt from his frame. The blush on the apples of his cheeks reddened as his gaze lowered on her frame. The last button popped open, revealing his body. She watched as his ab muscles tensed as the cold air hit his skin. 

He sat up slightly, pulling the shirt from his frame; he threw it to the floor. Standing up, he looked down towards her. Pressing his lips together, he began to undo his pants. She fought the smirk toying to her lips. Gliding the pants off of his frame, he kicked them away. 

He smirked as he leaned down and wrapped his arms around her waist. Lifting her up and tossing her down on the bed, she giggled as her back hit the mattress. He climbed on top of her, chuckling before he began to kiss her lips urgently only for a moment. His lips began to trail from her jaw towards her neck.

He slowly began to suck against her skin, biting before soothing the skin with his tongue. Her fingertips started tugging his curls as he continued to trail his lips and his hands down her frame. Tilting her head back, she took in a sudden breath. After a few seconds, “Oh my god,” she let out breathlessly. 

Smirking against her collarbone, he lifted his gaze to meet her eye. Nodding she arched her back and with one hand he took the clasp of her bra and slipped it from her frame. Swallowing hard his eyes lit up as he took in the way she looked. Leaning towards her, he pressed his lips against hers sensually. 

Softly, he pulled her bottom lip into his mouth sucking in slowly before he pulled away. 

“You’re so beautiful,”  he mumbled as he scanned her features. A soft smile formed to her swollen lips before she leaned towards him kissing him. His hands began to roam her frame, massaging her skin. 

She was starting to get more light headed the longer his hands roamed her frame. He looped her lacy underwear with his finger as he slowly started to slide it from her legs. He slipped it to the floor before he took a hold of her thighs. Pulling her towards the edge of the bed. “Lu-” she let out as she giggled.

“Yeah?” he let out with a teasing smirk as he delicately took a hold of her legs to part them. Looking towards her she nodded as she gripped the sheet beside her as her body tingled with excitement. His gaze lingered on her center as he softly grazed his fingertips across her skin. 

“You’re such a tease,” She breathed out.

“Oh am I?” he muttered as he climbed up towards her, hovering over her. Looking deeply into her eyes, she nodded as she took a hold of his cheek. Glidng her thumb across his cheek, “I think you just gotta be patient,” he let out slowly. Her eyebrows raised as she pursed her lips forward. 

“Patient? I’ve been patient for months,” she teased back. He chuckled before he leaned towards her kissing her urgently for a moment. 

“Then you’re good for a little longer,” he mumbled against her lips. 

Tilting her head back, she groaned quietly. He leaned towards her devouring her lips, pulling her bottom lip into his mouth again. 

Several minutes went by before Luke pulled his lips away from hers. He slowly lowered on her frame trailing wet kisses down her frame. 

Dragging his tongue as his lips got lower and lower on her frame. He took a soft hold of thighs as he slowly parted them, a smirk toyed to his lips. 

He took his thumb and softly began to rub his thumb against her clit. She took a sudden breath as her grip tightened against the bed sheets. He loved watching her squirm under his touch. A hushed moan left her lips.

 He smiled towards her as he took a hold of her thighs as leaned towards her center urgently. 

“Oh, fuck,” she muttered as her body was overwhelmed with heat as his tongue flicked against her clit. 

He gripped her thighs as he continued, holding her in place. His tongue continued to suck on her clit as his fingers delved into her center. 

“Oh my god-oh fuck-” her voice started to get louder.

He could feel her thighs start to clench under his touch. He pulled away from her, climbing up her frame, trailing wet kisses up her body. “Such a tease,” she mumbled as he hummed against her skin. 

“So impatient,” he let out before he pressed his lips against hers for a moment. 

“Please, I need you,” she muttered as she looked into his eyes. 

He pressed his lips against hers sloppily for another second before he stood up from her to slip his boxers from his frame. Her eyes widened as smirked towards him. 

He took a hold of his cock and slowly ran his hand up and down it a few times before he took a hold of her thigh. He further parted her legs, aligning himself with her center. He glanced towards her. 

Hw pushed inside of her, a low grunt leaving his lips. 

Slowly, thrusted inside of her a few times before he climbed on top of her. A breathy moan left her lips as he hiked her thigh up slowly as he continued to thrust into her. “Fuck,” he mumbled against her lips.

Her breathing was heavy as her hands glided through his curls, tugging them. 

“So good baby,” he mumbled against her lips before he started to leave wet kisses against her neck as moans left both of their lips as they were both chasing their climax. “Fuck, baby,” 

Her entire body tightened as she tilted her head back, a moan left her body as she fingertips dug into his back. He soon followed in pursuit, meeting his own climax. He grunted as he gripped her thigh tightly as they both started breathing heavily. It was as if everything was right in the world at that moment.

Just them, this close and completely falling in love.

He peppered kisses against her skin as he slowly pulled away from her. He laid onto his back as she rolled onto her side to face him. 

Glancing towards her, he bit his bottom lip as he fought a grin forming to his lips. He reached over towards her, pulling her towards him to lay onto his chest. Resting her head onto his chest, “Wow,” she mumbled. He chuckled as he leaned down and pressed his lips against her head.

“So beautiful,” he mumbled as he glided his hand through her hair.

~~~

The following day, she couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face. The entire morning while she was at work, her entire body was oozing with joy. There was no one in the shop when Tommy showed up. Spinning around, she smiled towards him as he walked inside. He furrowed his eyebrows harshly as he walked towards the counter. 

Y/N slid over the iced coffee she made for him. He pursed his lips forward as he took a hold of the drink. He sipped it for a second before he walked behind the counter. 

“What is wrong with your face?” he asked as he scanned her features. Her eyes widened as she shook her head slightly. “Oh my god!” he expressed. She shook her head as she fought a grin forming to her lips. 

“Stop-”

“You have that glow,” he said teasingly. “You had se-”

“Remember when I begged you to stop asking about my sex life while at work?” she let out with a grin on her lips.

“Oh but you’re the one with-”

“Okay, fine-we did and it was amazing,” she whispered. Tommy threw his hands in the air.

“Hallelujah!” Tommy shouted as he wrapped his arms around her. 

“Don’t be weird,” she let out while laughing.

[ultravioletbrit]

“relevant” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 473 words

“holiday music” - 25 Days of Jegumas - Day 8 - @noblehouseofgay

James and Regulus are sitting on the floor on either side of the coffee table that’s covered in a mess of books and folders and notebooks and notecards. Regulus is in the middle of it all typing frantically on his laptop and James is… watching Regulus type frantically on his laptop.  

He can’t stop thinking about Friday night. It’s their first date and James wants it to be perfect. They’re just going ice-skating because he knows Regulus loves to skate and James didn’t want to go too over the top for their first date. Something simple and casual that he knows Regulus will be comfortable doing. Plus, with a built-in activity, hopefully there won’t be as much pressure to fill any quiet moments that could lead to awkward silences.

There could be quiet moments in the car, though; James needs to make sure those moments don’t become awkward or uncomfortable either. He’ll need to make a playlist, but the wrong song at the wrong time could also lead to awkward moments. He needs simple songs that can be background noise, but also create the right atmosphere, something that—    

“James!” Regulus snaps James out of his spiraling thoughts and it's clearly not the first time he said James’ name.

“Sorry, what?”

Regulus huffs and rolls his eyes. “Do you have any questions?” He asks slowly and very annoyed.

“What are your favorite Christmas songs?” James blurts out.

Regulus blinks at him several times before he sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose “Do you have any relevant questions?”

“That is relevant!” James insists.

“How is my preferred holiday music relevant to our presentation?” Regulus asks with growing frustration.   

“Well, I haven’t really been helping with the presentation.” James says with a guilty smile.

“I’ve noticed.” Regulus grits his teeth.      

“I’ve been distracted thinking about songs to put on a playlist for our date. So, if you just tell me what songs you like then I’ll be able to focus much better and—”

“Our what?” Regulus cuts him off with wide eyes.

“Our date…?” James says slowly.

“We have a date?” Regulus’ eyes get impossibly wider.

“Errrm… yes?” James ask, genuinely confused. “Err… on Friday?... Right?…” He starts to fumble his words. “I have… We were… You said—” James freezes then snaps his mouth shut when he realizes… Regulus didn’t say anything… Because James never asked the question.

James got so far ahead of himself thinking about every little detail to make sure Regulus has the best possible time on their date; only to realize, he never actually asked Regulus to go on the date.  

“James…” Regulus starts slowly with the hint of a smile. “Did you plan a date without asking me on a date?” Regulus voices James’ thoughts.

James squeezes his eyes shut before dropping his head in his hands with a groan and Regulus chuckles.  

“See, now that would have been a relevant question.” Regulus tells him.

-

[madamechrissy]

♡ Time after Time ♡

♡ ♡ Pairings ♡ ♡ CEO! Satoru Gojo x Fem Reader

♡ ♡ Warnings ♡ ♡ MDNI- Just sexual tension in this chap hehe, more explicit as we go. Gojo is really a dick at first FYI

♡ ♡ Word Count ♡ ♡ 4.2k

♡ ♡ Summary ♡ ♡ Satoru Gojo is your boss And you've been his head assistant for over two years now. You do everything for him, including and not limited to cleaning his messes, picking out his clothes, and writing his speeches. Sixteen hour days... night calls... You are tired of being overworked and at his beck and call. You decide you are going to put in your two weeks notice. He is shocked, and wants to try to keep you, because you're the best. But you know better. Right? .You really wanna fucking quit. You also wanna fuck him. Also, fuck him.

A/N (Kinda has 'two weeks notice' vibes a bit! No use of y/n.) Fully finished. This was my first gojo fic so maybe a Lil less put together than my current ones

Masterlist- Playlist

Chapter 1

You looked up at him from your desk. You were tired, so damn tired. You needed a fucking break, a long one. Your mind wanders to that vacation away from Tokyo that will never happen, not because you don’t have vacation days or money. Nope, it was  because you work far too fucking much, twelve to sixteen hour days sometimes. For him, your damn boss, Satoru Gojo.

Always asking you to stay late, always running his errands, saving his ass, covering for him. Writing speeches, making presentations, finding him dates even. When Gojo wanted something, he got it, and it didn't matter if it ruined every plan you ever had, you had to get it done for him.

He ran casinos, owned a hotel, a nightclub, you name it, Satoru Gojo owned it. He’d inherited some from his family but mostly he was self made. Even the tower you worked in, Kamo Tower, was one of the best in the city. Everything Gojo touched seemed to turn to gold, or better yet platinum.

You had been so excited two years ago to be his intern, then ecstatic when you quickly moved up the ranks to be his head assistant. You made good money, enough to send home to your family and take care of them too. But you literally were constantly at that man's beck and call.

Your tired eyes lower as you rest your chin on your hand for a moment, for even last night at two am you'd had to run to his fucking rescue.

You were asleep, but the phone never stops fucking buzzing.

Dick boss: I need you.

You: no.

Dick boss: triple OT pay?

You: fuck. What is it?

Dick Boss: I'm in a bit of a bind…

The bind? Three passed out naked women in his bed, and a room destroyed, that he needed to get fixed so he could sleep. Yeah.

The night before? Well he had urgently needed you to pick out his outfit for his soiree, he was too coked out to pick apparently. And Gojo Satoru had so many three piece suits, ties and shoes, it was actually disgusting.

Nanami Kento walks up to you, overworked from his own boss in the building, a trait you two share as head assistants. He hands you a cup of coffee in a styrofoam cup, with your name written on it in sharpie, clearly from one of the coffee shops nearby. If you had time to have a fucking life you would have flirted with him, for sure. Maybe he would have, too?

Dirty blonde and handsome, his suit stretched across his muscles just so… and fuck if he didn’t look like he needed a damn vacation too.

“Long night?” Kento asked, grabbing you out of your thoughts, an amused and tired expression on his face. You sigh, nodding.

“Thank you for the coffee. I owe ya one.” You let the sweet liquid hit your lips, eyes peering to Gojo's office. There was some lady in there, pretty as fuck in some crazy attempt at business stripper, but he for some reason was scowling at you. What, you dared to sip coffee and not work for two minutes?

“Not at all. Happy birthday.” 

“Shit that’s today?” You teased, but you did know.

“We don’t really get birthdays.”

“Haha no we don’t. But thank you!”

“Of course. Take care of yourself okay? Gojo is… ugh.” Nanami looked disgusted as he shook his head, pushing up his fancy glasses. You couldn’t help but giggle at that as Nanami walked off.

Your phone rings, because of course Gojo can't just come to you, you must go to him. Your eyes roll.

“Yes, Sir?” You answer the phone, tapping your glittery manicured nails on your desk, the one treat you gave yourself.

“My office.” That silken command may have excited most women, shit, most human beings, but it was a source of annoyance for you.

“Coming.”

You sighed, hanging up the phone and sipping your coffee. The office coffee usually went cold daily with the amount of shit you had to do. You smooth down your dress, adjusting the buckle of your belt just a tad before walking towards the giant glass office.

Gojo’s office had floor to ceiling windows surrounding it that had a ridiculous view of the cityscape below. You all were on the top floor of Kamo Tower, after all. The air was filled with a faint scent, woodsy and fresh, a signature fragrance that lingered in the space, distinctive to Gojo.

As you enter, you see Gojo himself reclining casually in a lavish chair, his signature Gucci sunglasses on, covering those ridiculous blue eyes. Which you honestly appreciated because he made shit hard to focus, even after two years of working as his assistant.

“Sir?” You stand there cautiously, thinking of just putting in your notice then and fucking there, like that dream you had in your two hours of sleep.

“Status update on my meetings?”

“I sent you them all.” He smirked, arrogant. You grit your teeth. “You have two meetings today, Sir, one for the new hotel partnership, then you have a meeting with Mr. Suguru about your casino. And of course, you have your event tonight.”

“Speaking of that, I need you to come with me tonight for the charity ball.” You sigh, shutting the door behind you, resting your aching head against it.

“I asked for tonight off.” You murmur, and Gojo scoffs, grinning, damn fangs like some vampire glinting from the sun that beamed in. He stands, stretching his long elegant limbs, before he walks closer to you, making the scent of him waft through your senses.

“I'll pay you well. Plus you’ll be going as my date for the event, not going to make you actually work. You'll get to relax and shit. Drinks and food.”

“As your date?” You blink, pursing your lips.

“I know, it’s kinda a dream scenario.” He laughed at his own joke, a habit he certainly had.

“Since when does CEO Satoru need a date? Especially me . I can just arrange you a date like I always do.”

“It's a delicate partnership and I need someone who is smart. Not eye candy. I need you, law school girl. Plus you’re American, and a lot of the people there are too. So it’s a no brainer.” You sighed, the comment about eye candy biting.

Men hit on you pretty frequently, any time you weren’t working, which you could not say was very often. But of course Gojo banged models on the regular, and you had no time to look like a model, you barely had time to slap on some mascara and concealer every day to hide how tired you were.

“So you don't need anyone pretty… is what you're saying.”

He pauses then, frowning at you. “You're very pretty.” He'd never said that. He'd barely complimented your work. You catch your breath; looking up at him, curious how he had gotten just an inch away.

“‘Not eye candy.’”

“We'll no, you dress kinda boring… like business and shit. Not sexy at all. I mean I’ve never seen you not in a business dress unless it’s at night and I call you, then you wear pajama shorts and shit?”

You snort. “I would dress up if I had a life. All I do is work.”

��Exactly, that’s what I mean by not ‘eye candy’. How you dress, not your looks. But I'll make sure your outfit looks killer, no need to thank me.” Gojo winks at you, lowering his shades, those insane cerulean eyes making you overheat against your will. Big and glittering with silver, the irises the prettiest blue that the earth could scarcely recreate. Eyes that made anyone do anything he wanted.

You were almost immune to that by now.

“It's my fucking birthday and you want me to do overtime?” You demand, and frowns with those full lips.

“Birthday?” Gojo looks confused, as if you should not have one of them, for it’s inconvenient.

“Yeah. Twenty-sixth.”

He evaluates you. “Why did I think you were like twenty two?”

“I’m not sure. If I was I wouldn’t even have my law degree yet, baby face maybe. But it’s my third birthday here, and you never give me the day off. I will absolutely not put in OT.”

“What, you have plans, hot shot?” Gojo chuckles, his tone mocking.

No. Sure don't. “Yep.” You lie. He knows.

“Cancel em.” He shakes a hand dismissively and you scowl.

“No.” You cross your arms under your breasts, and his gaze darts down for the briefest of moments.

“No?” No one turned Gojo down. No one ever told the gorgeous CEO no. His six foot four frame hunched as he placed an arm on one side of you, peering down, frown still on his handsome features. You bravely glare back up at him.

“No. Gojo, I'm really exhausted, and I just want to have fun and actually relax for my birthday.”

“Have fun with me. And make killer money. Win win.”

“That's work. Not fun.”

“Hmm.” He tilts your chin up with his long fingers, making you peer up at him, surprised at the contact. “I'll make it fun. Promise. Then I'll give you the day off tomorrow. Deal?”

“I could find you a smart American girl? Eye candy too.”

“You're my best, though, I need you.”

Bastard.

“Ugh. Fine.”

He grins, and you catch a breath as he backs away. “Good. I'll have the outfit brought to your apartment later? I’m assuming you don’t have anything fancy enough for this one.”

“Probably not. Fine. Need my size?”

His eyes are drinking you in as he smirks. “You think I haven’t gathered your size by now?” Your cheeks overheat. Though you’re used to him, at the end of the day you still had a damn vagina, and it reacted to him. He chuckled deeply, turning away and waving a hand. “You're dismissed.”

Just like that, your birthday night was just work. Work for Gojo.

***

“Can’t wait to put in my two weeks ugh.” You grumble to yourself as you finish up your makeup, for once having fun with it. If you had to work your birthday you would absolutely look gorgeous for it. Lashes, winged liner, red lips.

The dress he had ordered laid in a satin box on your white day bed. You sigh, opening it finally, and you blink rapidly as you look at the gown encased in baby blue and white tissue paper, the colors of Gojo himself. You gently pulled out the gown and most of your irritation died off.

Black and decked with sequins, it glittered in the light, it was a velvety fabric, as soft as a caress. As you slid it on it glided over your curves, accentuating the nip at your waist, the arch of your hips. The neckline plunged ridiculously low, revealing a generous amount of cleavage that you typically kept under wraps at work. You wonder how Gojo knew you had just so much up top…

Pervert is what he was.

Pervert with killer taste.

The dress had a slit that went dangerously up one of your well toned thighs, exposing nearly all of one leg, while the rest of the dress hit the floor. It was if he truly knew every measurement you had, for the dress could not have hit any better. Those damn analyzing eyes of his…

You spun to look at the back of the dress, which dipped daringly as well, exposing an expanse of skin, from shoulder blades down to the dimples on your lower back. You rummage through your little cherry wood jewelry box, eyeing to see what would work with the dress. Luckily, everything went well with black, so you snatched up a pretty silver cross necklace and earrings.

A text pops up, and you read it.

Dick Boss: Waiting out front in the car.

You: Just a few.

You slip on your shoes and spritz some body spray on, your favorite from Victoria’s Secret you save for special things, then slide on a pair of black heeled boots, contemplating putting on underwear. Did it matter what kind? It wasn’t like you’d had any dick since like college at this point. And you definitely weren’t fucking Gojo, since neither of you were interested.

You because you saw the girls he fucked. Him because… you weren’t ‘arm candy’. Or a dumb ass bimbo. Sometimes you wished you were, since they seemed sweet and happy in life, while you drowned.

Dick Boss: I’m waiting…”

Fucking Gojo. Ugh. You decide to slide on some lacy boy shorts, just in case that slit did go too high you’d have some coverage. Peeking one last time at the mirror, you had to admit you looked beautiful. You text Gojo.

You: Coming now.

You locked up and headed down the stairs of the apartment building, and there was Kiyotaka, Gojo’s driver, opening the door of the black limo for you. Kiyotaka, who somehow was your age now. That boggled your mind more than Nanami. Gojo wore people out, very clearly, but even you had it easier than Kiyotaka.

“My lady.” He said sweetly, and you smiled at him, sliding in, and there Gojo was across from you, long arms spread across the backs of the seat, his head rested back so that his throat was exposed. His head snapped down, and he looked right at you, no sunglasses, only those eyes. His lips parted, and you tensed, prepared for some lewd comment or rude one.

He blinked those white spiky lashes, arms sliding down as Kiyotaka shut the door, gaze taking you in ever so slowly, as if he had all the time in the world. You felt yourself holding your breath as it lazily traveled down and back up your body, clutching your little black evening bag tightly.

“You look…” He trailed off, shaking his head a bit.

“Thank you for the dress.” You cut him off. He exhaled, nodding.

“Of course. Consider it my birthday gift. You look… really fucking hot.”

You giggled at that. Not beautiful or breathtaking. But you’d take it. “Thank you, the dress is so beautiful.”

“Your body is that banging and you hide it like that?” He was somehow right next to you now, and you shiver a bit at the nearness. “I should reprimand you.”

You roll your eyes. “I can’t dress like this at work.”

“You sure the fuck can. I’m the boss, I say so.” His fingertips trailed down your shoulder, and it sent tingles through your body. Why was he so close? “I’m buying you a new wardrobe.”

“The fuck you are. I like to be professional, unlike you.” You smack his hand off errantly, and your bare shoulder grew cold without the touch.

“You do really look good.” You took in his outfit, a black tux, which fit his slim muscles perfectly. It was some shit Bruce Wayne would wear. Maybe Gojo was some super hero or villain. It would fit.

“You do too. You always do.”

“I know.” He winked at you, leaning forward to snatch up champagne and pop it, pouring you both glasses. You took one, letting the bubbles tickle your nose, taking a sip of the sweet drink, moaning softly and shutting your eyes.

“Delicious.” You lick your lower lip and find him a breath away. You don’t move, but you’re frozen, confused as he looks at you like he never has. “Satoru?”

“Are you really thinking of quitting?” He asked softly. You have never seen Gojo like this.

“How did you know?”

“I know everything, baby girl.” He gently runs his long fingers through your hair, a rare frown on his lips.

“Baby girl? The fuck, Satoru. Yes I was thinking of it, an seducing me is not going to change my mind. Is that the point of this?” You demand, irritated, and against your better judgement, fucking horny. His eyes study your own seriously.

“If that was my intention, you’d damn sure know.” Each word was bit out, distinctive, and his hand tightened in your hair, far too strong, yanking your head back. You scowl up at him, your hands clenched into fists.

“Oh, would I?” You challenged him, notching your chin up a bit. He laughed but it was without humor.

“How many women have you heard me fuck in my office? How many have you had to send home? You think I don’t know how to fuck the shit out of you if I wanted to. You wouldn’t even be able to walk.”

Gojo’s whisper was against your lips, and you could taste whiskey on his breath, mixed with his mints he constantly sucked on. He wasn’t touching you, but he was so close you could feel him…

“I won’t fuck you though, so what’s the point of even joking about it. You don’t want me anyway. Not your type.” He snorted, and one of his big hands came to your waist, touching the bare skin of your back and wreaking havoc on every sense you’ve ever had.

“You know my type?” You nod. His thumb brushed under your breast, an action that made the peaks of your breasts tighten, aching against the sequined gown. Damn if his gaze didn’t drop down. You cursed yourself. “The women who entertain me aren’t necessarily my type.”

“Hmm.” It grew difficult to focus. You sip your champagne, leaning back a bit, but Gojo’s grip stays. “It doesn’t matter. You’re talking out of your ass. Too much cocaine tonight?”

His grip tightened, and it made you gasp, looking up at his darkened eyes in the dim light of the limo. “I haven’t had any. I’m just pretty fucking irritated my best assistant wants to leave. You’re ungrateful.”

“Ungrateful!” You snort at that, tossing back the champagne and grabbing at his hand, his wrist, trying to get him off of you. “How the fuck, Satoru? I literally do everything for you!”

“And I pay you damn good!”

“I know. I’d rather be broke somewhere than do sixteen hour days. It’s my damn birthday and here I am!”

“As if you really had plans. You have no friends and no life.”

“Bullshit.” You grit your teeth, shoving at his hard chest. “That’s because I have no damn time! You think I wouldn’t have a boyfriend or something by now?”

“Maybe that’s your problem, why you’re so bitchy and stuck up all the damn time. You need to get fucked good.”

You slapped him then. Slapped your Boss. Slapped Satoru Gojo.

His hand caught your wrist, brutally squeezing, pale cheek just hinted with pink from your mark.

“Ring a little true?”

“I can get fucked if I want.” You yank your hand back.

“I didn’t say that. Clearly you can get fucked. It’s just you don’t even want to and you blame it on my hours, as if you were the type.”

“I’d fuck Nanami Kento if I had any damn time.” Gojo’s eyes widened at that, and his grip on your waist became brutal. “Yep. Sure would. He’s built as fuck, oh and he remembered my birthday. If either of us had time I sure would. So does that answer it for you?”

Gojo bared his teeth at her, a little blue vein in his temple popping out. Your heart beats in your chest, brutally, the thudding loud in your ears. “You… would fuck… Nanami… Kento?”

Each of his words were forced through his teeth.

Ah, you made him mad.

Good.

“Who wouldn’t? He’s hot.” You try to shrug casually.

“Out of anyone in the office?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Including me.”

You open your mouth to say yes, but you know it’s not fucking true. Of course you’d have fucked Gojo, if he wasn’t a dick boss, if he was just a dude…

Look at him.

“Cat got your tongue?” His free hand caught your chin, forcing your gaze to his piercing one. You gulp, licking your lips.

“No.”

“No, what?” His voice was a wicked caress.

“No… not including you. Goddammit. Is that what you want to hear? That I’m not blind? Of course you’re attractive, and you know it, stupid!”

He scoffed. “You’re childish.”

“You!” You shoved at him again, and he let you go, grabbing your glass and refilling it, watching you like a hawk. “It changes nothing. I am planning to leave. I will find a replacement, someone even better than me.”

“There is no one better.” He sounded sincere, a rare thing for Gojo, emotion cracking in his voice as he downed his own glass.

“You think fucking me will keep me as your damn assistant?”

“It’s worth a shot. I’m the best fuck there is.” He shrugged, some of that casual demeanor coming back, and you wanted to yell at your body for its reaction.

“It won’t happen.”

“Yeah? Why?”

“You’re my boss!”

“But you’re leaving.”

“I…”

“Hmm? You seem at a loss for words.” You scowl, looking out the window as the lights flickered by.

“Are we there yet?”

“Childish.”

“Says you!”

��You need a good orgasm. Or ten. Get you to be less of a stuck up nag.”

“I do not! And I am not!”

“You do, and you are.”

“I orgasm plenty, thanks!” You felt your body on fire at that, and Gojo couldn’t look more satisfied, like the Cheshire fucking cat, the grin as wide as it could go, running his hand through his silken white locks.

“Oh, do tell.” He practically purred.

“Cut the shit, Satoru. You’ve never talked like this in the years I’ve worked with you, where the fuck do you get off?”

“I get off in women. Or on them.” He shrugged, enjoying your open mouth, once again lost for words.

“You know I did not mean that!”

“Where do you get off? On a dildo maybe.” You blinked, eyebrows low in a scowl, wanting to hit him again. “No, don’t look the type. Maybe a rose toy. Hmm… or just these little things.” Gojo lifted your hand, already small but ridiculously small in his own, swallowed by him. “They don’t hit deep enough, do they?” His whisper shook you to your core.

You burned, breathless, as he held out his own hand to yours, fingers so fucking long they rivaled the length of a dude’s dick. Likely larger than the couple of dude’s in college, which was about all of your experience. He grinned as you stared on, palm hot and hard against your own.

“I… you…” You wanted to cuss him out. Quit right then.

You also wanted his fingers in you.

“I could get you off, put you in a good mood. We don’t have to have sex for that.” His hand took your own, putting your hand by your heat, between your thighs.

“Why… are you…act- acting like this?” You managed to breathe out, but you had no energy to move away from him, or shove his hand off. Because if you were being honest with yourself, you’d love to ride your frustration out on him.

“Maybe I realize how much I need you to stay as my assistant.” Gojo’s supple lips kiss down your jaw, firm but delicate, as his hand brutally grabs yours and shoves it against yourself, moaning in your ear. “Is my assistant already hot for me? Are you that easy to get wet?”

“Fuck off.”

It’s a whisper. You want it. And you hate him. You hate that your pussy is pulsing against your joined fingers through the barrier of your panties, that the moan in your ear made you wonder what he sounded like when he came. Gojo slid his own finger against your panties, pausing, moaning again, pulling back to look at you.

He was gorgeous.

Your chest rose and fell with your breath.

“Fuck.” He whispered, and something was just different. You saw Gojo with women, always so self assured. But something seemed surprised, vulnerable, when his long finger pressed against the damp sticky fabric, just grazing your clit. You arched your hips up, and his fingertip ran up slightly, pressing more, and Gojo’s lips were just a breath away…

“We’re here, Sir, my Lady.”

Fuck.

You two shot apart, and you struggled to catch your breath, adjusting your dress, gulping down one more glass for good measure. Gojo adjusted his pants, not even looking at you, clearing his throat. You cursed as you saw his tie.

“You can’t tie a tie for shit, Satoru.” You leaned over to him, pulling it apart gently and re-tying it. You noticed his Adam's apple bob up and down. He was quiet. Satoru Gojo, quiet. “There.”

“Thanks.” He said gruffly, and your eyes met.

What the fuck just happened?

Kiyotaka opened the door, exposing them to some cool night air, and you got out, curious just how the fuck this birthday night was going to go.

Chapter 2

Completed fic on ao3, will post chaps on here as well

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55424137/chapters/140629990

[boundbyeclipse]

hiii can you write smut number 5 with current James????

black velvet

genre : smut

word count : 1227

tags : current!james, female!reader, age difference (not specified how much), reader is a tattoo artist, a little rough james, semi-public sex (i think?), that’s about it

from the prompt list : 5. “don’t cover your mouth. i wanna hear you”

a/n : sooo i saw a photo of James getting a tattoo done and i thought hey, that’s a perfect idea for one of my requests! it really stuck to me and i had to write it. i really hope you enjoy this one x

‘Poison’ by Alice Cooper played in the background after you returned from your dinner break at work. You hummed along to the lyrics while lightly bopping your head to the beat. You absolutely loved rock and metal, so the playlist used at work always consisted of bands who did exactly those genres. It always gave you motivation and boosts for some energy, no matter if you were sad, angry or irritated.

While preparing for your next client, the sound of the entrance door opening and closing reached your ears. Technically, it was just a bit too early to show up, but hey, this one’s a regular and you didn’t mind at all.

“Hey there” you greeted him while putting some black gloves on your hands.

“Hey. Mind me showing up before I should?”

You gave him a warm smile, shaking your head left to right.

“Nope. You can come take a seat actually, I’ll go print out the tattoo and get more ink”

“Alright” James smiled back, hanging his jacket on the rack and making his way to the big, comfortable leather chair. He watched you walking around and you didn’t quite pay any attention to him, at least at first. Or, you just didn’t want to.

No matter how many times you’ve done tattoos on this man in the past few years, there has always been some sort of a tension between you both. It wasn’t anything like what you’ve had before with other men. They might have complimented you, made you smile, even blush, but none of them put you in such a vulnerable position with their presence alone. And there have been many times where his eyes would pierce right through you in the middle of getting his skin drawn on, creating the impression of him wanting to do some things to you. The lust was purely emitting from him the whole time. And you cannot forget about those moments when his fingertips would brush against your skin, making you shiver and think of scenarios in your head that were not so innocent. Sure, he was much older than you, but that didn’t stop either of you from craving each other every time.

Not too long after, you were already seated next to James, with his hand extended out as you were drawing lines on his skin.

My, oh my, did those large hands of his drove you insane.

“You got any more people coming after me?” he suddenly asked, his blue eyes hinting at something.

“Nope, you are the last one today. Puts my mind at ease knowing my last client is a regular. No need to overthink”

One side of his mouth curved up into a small smirk.

“Are you sure your mind is at ease? Because I can feel you’re all tensed up”

You swallowed and bit your lower lip hard after he said that. Trying to hide your growing frustration, you giggled.

“Maybe I am, I’ve been here since seven in the morning, you know”

He cocked an eyebrow up, not quite believing what you were saying. James could clearly see how you bit your lip, adjusted in your seat and giggled due to getting thrown back by his comment.

“It’s kind of easy to tell that it’s not because of the work. You don’t need to hide it”

Your breath hitched in your throat, and your body froze for a moment before you looked up at him and asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I know you secretly think about all the possible ways I could use my hands on you,” you could not believe what he just said, but it was totally true, “it’s written all over your face. Even your body language gives it away with how you shake, squirm in your seat, how you breathe heavier when I’m around. I know you think of me”

“James, don’t-“

“Just finish the tattoo first, then you can explain yourself”

Not even ten minutes later, you had your body pinned against the door of your break room, with no way to escape the tall man who hovered over you. His hands roamed your body while he kissed your neck, sucking on the sensitive spots to make you even weaker. The way he held you by your hip against the door made you so vulnerable and so turned on, that you could not help but moan into the heated kiss.

With one swift move, James opened the door behind you and the both of you walked backwards, still all over each other until the back of your calves hit the lounge couch that was in the room. James helped you with taking your shirt off, leaving you in a black lace bra. You sat down and watched James from below, eyes full of desperation and need, looking right into his own. He removed his shirt and tossed it away, unbuckling his jeans and unzipping them, then hovering above you as he laid you down slowly, but with rough kisses and a tight grip on your waist.

Your hand reached into his jeans and you cupped him through the fabric of his underwear, giving it a couple squeezes as James groaned in response. He was big, thick and hard, and you could feel yourself getting so wet that it started to hurt. You really needed him.

With no clothes left on your bodies, he was now inside you, moving his hips as he watched your face, loving the way your eyes rolled back with each thrust. The way your back arched, your naked bodies touching against each other, it put you in such a trance. Every second of it - you just loved.

With your moans becoming louder, you felt a little embarrassed, and your hand found its way to your mouth to silence yourself. But James wasn’t going to let you hide.

“Don’t cover your mouth. I wanna hear you”

Carefully, he took your hand and now had both of your hands pinned above your head. Your moans filled the room as you wrapped your legs around his waist, wanting to feel every single inch of his length in you. Almost to the point where you could barely take it.

“I can’t- I can’t take it”

“Yes, you can. Just hang on for a little bit more for me, okay?”

You gave him a nod in response, eyes watery and lips parted as you breathed heavily, your high hitting you right then and there. It happened so quickly, that you could not even tell James that you were close.

Another moan slipped out of his mouth as you coated him in your juices, your walls pulsing whilst he was still inside you, able to feel everything.

“Almost there” he told you as he gave you his final thrusts before pulling out and cumming on your stomach. Both of you were panting, with small beads of sweat on your foreheads and hair all messed up. But as soon as you got your breathing back to normal, it was time to clean up and go home. Though, James just wasn’t quite keen on leaving you so soon.

“I’ll give you a ride back home, so don’t worry about taking a bus in this weather” he gave you a warm smile as he put his jacket on and waited for you at the entrance door.

[augustwinesworld]

𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞?

fuck him and the way he looks at me

description: Levi's sharp tongue causes clashes between you two, leading to a heated argument over how to handle a negotiation.

pairing: underground! levi x underground! reader

genre: undertermined(?)

notes: its a bit of a filler, but it really sets the tone for their non-relationship (rivalry?)

word count: 1.8k

extra: moodboard | playlist | ☆:**:. 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐞 .:**:.☆ 

Feel free to #𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 (◕‿◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧ if you have any scenarios in mind! I might not write everything but I’ll respond to everyone.

series masterlist: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭

The Underground market was a labyrinth of damp stone and desperation—literally.

The air thick with the mingling scents of sweat, rot, and something metallic. Shadows moved along the edges of the stalls, cast by flickering oil lamps, while merchants bartered in sharp, clipped tones, while civilians tried their best to argue for a cheaper price.

It was a place where trust was a fool’s gambit, and every deal felt like a step closer to the grave.

Levi, you, and Furlan wove through the maze of crates and ramshackle counters. Furlan’s stride was easy, his eyes darting with excitement, but your jaw was set, tension thrumming in your chest. Levi, as always, was unreadable, his sharp gaze scanning every corner, every face, for the slightest sign of danger.

Ahead, a wiry merchant leaned lazily against his counter, his darting eyes betraying his shrewd nature. Stacked around him were crates of supplies—an assortment of weapons, rations, and gear, all undoubtedly stolen or salvaged. He straightened as your group approached, a crooked grin spreading across his face.

“Well, well,” the merchant drawled, his voice oily. “What do we have here? New faces looking for trouble, or just here to lighten your load of coin?”

Furlan offered his most disarming smile. “Neither. We’re here for supplies—and I’m sure we can strike a deal that works for both of us.”

The merchant’s grin widened, but his eyes remained calculating. “That so? Well, let’s hear it, then.”

You stepped forward, pulling out a small but valuable item—a polished piece of stolen jewelry you’d kept hidden for occasions just like this. “This should cover it,” you said confidently, setting it on the counter.

The merchant’s eyes lit up with interest, but before you could continue, Levi’s voice cut through the air like a blade.

“We’re not giving him that.”

You turned to him, incredulous. “Why not? It’s not like we don’t have more.”

Levi’s stare was icy, his tone flat but sharp. “That’s a terrible idea. You hand that over, and he’ll know we’re desperate. He’ll bleed us dry.”

You bristled, stepping closer to him. “Or,” you snapped, “we walk away with what we actually need instead of wasting time haggling like amateurs.”

The merchant leaned back, clearly enjoying the show as Levi’s gaze darkened. “You think you know how this works?” he said, his voice low and steady. “This isn’t your little game of trading favors with starving kids. This is business.”

You didn’t back down, crossing your arms as your irritation flared. “And what do you know about business? Your solution to every problem is scowling and hoping they back off. Newsflash, Levi: intimidation only gets you so far.”

Furlan, sensing the tension rising, held up his hands. “Hey, maybe now isn’t the time—”

“Stay out of it, Furlan,” you and Levi snapped simultaneously, your voices sharp enough to make him wince.

Levi stepped closer, his presence cold and imposing. “You’re reckless. One wrong move, and we’re dead. All because you can’t keep your mouth shut.”

You laughed bitterly, the sound harsh. “Oh, I’m reckless? Says the guy who thought punching a guard last week was a great idea. Remind me, how did that work out?”

Levi’s jaw tightened, and his voice dropped to a dangerous whisper. “At least I don’t gamble with things I can’t afford to lose.”

You took a step closer, poking him in the chest. “And what’s your genius plan? Stand here glaring until they give us a discount out of fear?”

Levi’s eyes narrowed, his voice cutting like frost. “At least I think before I act. Unlike someone who seems to want to get us killed.”

Furlan groaned, stepping between you with his hands raised. “Okay, guys, enough! We’ve got an audience.”

The merchant chuckled, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “You two done? ‘Cause if not, I’ve got other customers who know how to make a deal.”

You huffed, stepping aside with a mocking gesture. “Fine. Let’s do it your way, oh mighty expert. I’ll just stand here looking pretty and let the big, strong man handle everything.”

Levi ignored the jab, turning to the merchant with a hard stare. The negotiation was brief and tense, Levi’s terse words and unyielding demeanor leaving the merchant visibly uneasy. In the end, you walked away with what you needed—but not without feeling the sting of defeat.

As you exited the market, the silence was heavy with unresolved tension. Furlan walked between you and Levi, his expression a mix of amusement and exasperation.

“Well, that went…great!” Furlan said, his voice overly bright. “Definitely didn’t look like we were seconds away from killing each other back there.”

You muttered under your breath, “You can’t keep shutting me down like that.”

Levi shot you a sidelong glance, his voice curt. “Next time, try listening for once.”

You stopped, rounding on him. “Listening? You mean agreeing with you, right? Because apparently, no one else here gets a say.”

Levi turned fully to face you, his tone icy. “You don’t get a say when your ideas put all of us at risk. You want to make decisions? Then stop thinking with your pride.”

Furlan quickly stepped between you again, raising his hands. “Alright, enough. We got what we needed. Let’s not push our luck.”

Sharp grey eyes glare darkened as your words hung in the air, sharp and challenging. The tension between you two felt like a tangible force, pressing against Furlan, who stood awkwardly between you, his hands still raised in a futile attempt to keep the peace.

“You know what? no.” you snapped, stepping closer to Levi despite Furlan’s weak attempts to hold you back. “It’s not about thinking with my fucking pride. It’s about you treating me like I’m incapable or something.”

Levi’s jaw clenched, his posture rigid. “I don’t treat you like you’re incapable,” he bit out, his voice low but simmering with frustration. “I treat you like someone who doesn’t know when to shut up.”

“Oh, that’s rich,” you shot back, your tone dripping with sarcasm. “Because you’re so great at handling things without making a scene, right? Tell me, Levi, how many more people are going to end up on the floor before you realize that intimidation isn’t the answer to everything?”

Levi stepped closer, the intensity of his glare forcing Furlan to shuffle back slightly. His voice dropped to a dangerous whisper. “I don’t need your approval, and I sure as hell don’t need you making reckless decisions that could get us killed.”

“And I don’t need you micromanaging me,” you hissed, your voice quieter now but no less fierce. “I’ve gotten us out of more than one mess, in case you’ve forgotten. Maybe if you trusted me to actually do my part instead of shutting me down every chance you get, we wouldn’t be at each other’s throats all the damn time.”

Your chest rose and fell with rapid breaths, fists clenching at your sides as you tried to steady yourself. The frustration simmering under your skin forced its way out as a blush crept up your neck, but you didn’t back down.

“And another thing—this isn’t just about getting what we need today. We need suppliers who don’t hate our guts if we want to keep doing shit down here. Intimidation might work for a quick deal, but it doesn’t build relationships we can rely on.”

The group fell into a tense silence, the weight of your words settling uncomfortably between you. Levi’s jaw tightened, his hands flexing at his sides as he forced himself to stay quiet, though the fire in his eyes hadn’t dimmed.

Furlan, ever the opportunist for defusing tension, leaned toward you with a smirk.

“You know, you two argue so much, it’s almost like you’re married,” he teased, his voice light but holding just enough edge to draw attention away from the lingering hostility.

You huffed, shooting him a glare. “Shut up, Furlan.”

Levi scoffed, his sharp gaze flicking toward Furlan for a moment before returning to the path ahead. Despite his irritation, something in your words stuck with him.

He wouldn’t admit it—probably not even under threat—but there was a point buried in your outburst that he couldn’t quite shake. Relationships like the ones you mentioned weren’t just practical—they were critical in a place where survival was a balancing act of trust and necessity.

He'd never admit that, though.

And for all your defiance and fire, there was something about it that stuck with him. It grated on his nerves, yes, but it also kept drawing his focus back to you in a way he didn’t entirely understand—or want to.

You, walking beside Furlan, couldn’t ignore the small part of yourself that saw Levi’s point. If you were being completely honest, there were times when violence was needed.

Sometimes you even caught yourself looking at him waiting for his reaction, but you'd never admit it, not even with a gun to your head.

His rigid control over your every move grated on you just as much as your defiance seemed to irritate him—and he could be oh, so arrogant. It made you feel insane how little he seemed to consider anyone else’s perspective, as though his way was the only way that mattered.

And the fact that he was sometimes right didn’t make it any less infuriating when he dismissed your input outright, you would even dare say it made it a hundred times worse.

It wasn’t just his arrogance that got under your skin; it was the way he made you feel like your choices—your instincts—were insignificant compared to his calculated precision.

Levi had a knack for shutting down your ideas with a single sharp comment, leaving you fuming in the aftermath, replaying every word he’d said and biting your tongue to keep from saying something you’d regret.

And yet, for all the frustration, there was something maddeningly magnetic about him. Maybe it was the intensity in his eyes when he argued, like he could see straight through you.

Or the rare, fleeting moments when his guard slipped just enough to show that his anger wasn’t born of disdain but of something far more complicated.

Still, his control pushed and pulled at you, sparking arguments that left you both seething. It wasn’t just about who was right or wrong; it was about proving that you were capable of holding your own, of matching him move for move, and earning his damn respect—not just in the way he grudgingly gave to an ally, but as an equal like Furlan.

It drove you insane how little he seemed to acknowledge that, how much effort it took just to get him to listen, let alone trust that you could handle yourself.

Even now, as you walked beside Furlan with Levi a few paces ahead, the tension lingered in the air. Every step felt like a continuation of your argument, even in silence. He was infuriating, exhausting, and far too stubborn for his own good. But beneath the irritation, you couldn’t shake the feeling that, somehow, you understood each other more than either of you would ever admit.

But that was something you weren't quite ready to decipher.

Levi glanced over his shoulder briefly, his expression unreadable but his gaze sharp. Whatever this tension was between you, it wasn’t going anywhere—but maybe that wasn’t entirely a bad thing.

next chapter↠

© AUGUSTWINESWORLD : no translation, plagiarism, or cross posting.

[fairyysoup]

cowboy like me

part two: takes one to know one

pairing(s): wild west outlaw!eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: The strange man who stumbled into your hiding place is an idiot and also really pretty. It turns out trouble is something you have in common.

cw: mature themes, cowboy/wild west au, slow burn, enemies to lovers-ish?, past eddie x chrissy mention, guns, implied outlaw!reader, death threats, gunshot wounds, definitely inaccurate descriptions of frontier medicine, blood, some dark comedy.

word count: 2.7k

a/n: Behold the newest installment of Rose playing with barbies: cowboy edition. This is a continuation of an initial chapter I posted nearly a year ago now. I want to thank everyone who has been patient with me, since this year has been really terrible for my inspiration and creativity. I do my best to write when I can, but shit's been real hard if I'm honest. So thank you for sticking with me, even when I haven't been all that active on the writing front.

THIS ENTIRE FIC IS EXPLICIT. ALL MY WORKS ARE 18+ MINORS DNI

part one | fic playlist for your listening pleasure

Once he loses consciousness, Eddie’s wound is fairly easy to dress. You find three old bottles of whisky hidden behind a false back to a cabinet, and uncork one to use as antiseptic. 

He hasn’t lost a lot of blood, to be fair. His blouse is ruined, but the blood had barely begun to saturate his coat, and the wound isn't more than a deep gash in his side. It seems that the bullet had only grazed him. 

It doesn’t help your predicament that Eddie is very, very handsome when he’s not actively creating an extreme inconvenience. The shadows make his cheeks look more sunken than they actually are, but his eyelashes flutter like he’s seeing a pleasant dream behind them. They touch his cheeks and make him look like a prince from a fairytale book you had as a girl. 

M’just doing whatever you tell me to, princess. 

He’s a regular damsel in distress, this Eddie character. You wonder what his end goal is. You wonder what he did to be on the run from Jason Carver and his goons. 

But this isn’t a fairy tale, you remember, and nor are you any kind of a princess, despite what he calls you. Nothing is more apparent when you look down at Eddie’s blood on your hands and dress, and you have to use a cut piece of your underskirt to tie against the stitches you gave him with a sewing needle you found at the bottom of a desk drawer. Sterilized with fire and a bit of liquor, of course.

By the time that Eddie finally stirs, night has fallen. You’ve already shed your bloody day dress and soaked it in some cold water from the well out back; which you harvested in the dark, mind you, because you don’t know if Jason Carver’s buddies are still hanging around to see if you actually are hiding a fugitive in here. The last thing you needed was someone seeing you come conspicuously wandering out of a cabin covered in blood, for no discernible reason. 

There’ll be a stain on the dress, but that’s nothing you can’t tie an apron over and call it a day. What you really wish is that the well was a bit more of a river, so you could jump into it and let it pull you downstream, away from all this mess, and take all the blood and grime of the day with it. What you wouldn’t give for some proper soap. 

Eddie groans, and for the first time in hours you find yourself genuinely scared. Scared that maybe his wound was worse than you expected. Scared that he’s gonna die of sepsis right in front of you. Worse, scared that he’s gonna ask you questions, and you don’t know what you’ll even say. 

Your gaze falls on the leather satchel by the door– the one that holds everything you have to your name inside of it. Everything that put you in this predicament in the first place. You have a mind to burn it on the fire, but you hesitate. There’s still hope for you yet, if you can just get out of here.

Eddie’s eyes blink open just as soon as you’ve turned toward your soaking dress, hanging from a pin on the mantle, and you reach to turn the wetter side toward the flames. There was just enough old wood in the cabin to build a half-assed fire, which is about the only thing you can be thankful for at the minute, considering the wind rips through the canyon quicker than a mustang and the cabin gets the brunt of it.

Behind you, Eddie coughs. And then he says something– or, he tries, but it comes out about as pretty as a braying donkey with laryngitis. 

“Hush,” you tell him, and hurry to pour him a cup of leftover clean well water. ‘Clean’ being a term used loosely. It’s water and it wasn’t used to clean your dirty clothes, but that’s about what you can say for it. 

He takes it graciously all the same. After he’s drained the cup, his head flops back onto the pillow in another cloud of dust, and he scrunches his nose up in a way that shouldn’t be as cute as it is. “How long was I out for?”

It’s the first thing he’s said that you can make out, but it’s a question that doesn’t make you cringe to answer it. “Couple hours. Patched your wound.”

“Oh, y’did?” Eddie cracks an eye open and peers down toward his hip– which is when he realizes the gravity of his state of undress. 

You see, the thing about hip injuries is that it’s really difficult to deal with them when there’s fabric blocking your access. And the thing about fabric on a hip is that it’s usually connected to a garment, which on men is usually a pair of trousers, which usually need to come off if you’re going to get anything done. 

Eddie yelps suddenly and yanks a pillow across his groin as a crimson blush blasts over his face. The torn piece of your underskirt is wrapped around his torso– but to get it to stay put, you had to take an extra length and fasten it around his thigh as well. Which means you got very familiar with his anatomy in the process. 

“Well, you, ah–” Eddie shivers, avoiding your eye like the plague. “You’ve been thorough.”

You snort. “Don’t flatter yourself. It’s not the first time I’ve seen a naked man. At least your bandages won’t go anywhere when you move.”

“You a nurse?”

The question makes you scowl, but you’re not sure why it does. Maybe because you don’t want him asking any questions about your life, but you can answer this one. “No. So thank Christ it wasn’t worse than that.”

Eddie chuckles, creases forming in the corners of his eyes. His eyes rake over you, taking in your corset and cotton skirt, now missing a few inches off the hem. The lacey bottoms of your combinations poke out from beneath the cut-off hem of the petticoat. 

“You’re real pretty, y’know that?” he murmurs sweetly, meeting your eye finally. 

You scoff at that, turning away from him finally. It feels a little like admitting defeat. “You’re just sayin’ that ‘cause I’ve taken your pants.”

“Well, I got your underwear around my waist, so I think we’re even.” 

He grunts as he struggles into a sitting position, still clutching the pillow against his pelvis. It doesn’t do much to cover him; when you turn, you can still see the trail of hair leading from his belly-button to his crotch, his thighs spread apart on either side of it. His legs splayed out across the old mattress, its sheets rumpled and dust covered beyond usability. 

“So, you’re not a nurse but you know pretty well how to dress a wound. So… what do you do?”

You bristle at that. “You shouldn’t move too much, you’ll tear your stitches.”

“Ah– avoiding the question. Okay, I know this one.” He’s overly pleased with himself, flashing you a sardonic grin. “You think I’m a pissing sonofabitch who’ll use anything you say against you, so you’re not gonna tell me anything about yourself, even though we’re gonna be stuck together for god knows how long–”

“And whose fault is that?” You snap. He looks taken aback by your biting tone, even though you held him at gunpoint just hours ago. “I could be miles away from here if you hadn’t fuckin’ waltzed in with all your trouble. I could be moving on. I wouldn’t be stuck here playing house with you. And you’re hogging the fuckin’ bed, so thanks for that, too.”

You huff and turn back towards the fire, smacking it with a poker a few times just for good measure. Sparks fly from the burning wood, emitting a cloud of smoke that billows out a bit, but then gets sucked up the floo. 

“Hey,” Eddie says gently now, like he’s trying to calm a wild animal. “Look, I’m sorry, all right? I didn’t know that anyone was here. I wouldn’t have broken in if that was the case, y’know? Usually when you’re on the run, you try to avoid people. I mean, what the hell kinda good is someone else…”

Eddie trails off as he’s talking, and your heart starts beating hard enough to reverberate in your ears. You’re still prodding the fire, kicking up sparks, even though it’s about as stoked as it’ll get. 

“You’re on the run.”

His voice is low. Hesitant, like he’s afraid of the answer. 

You nearly roll your eyes at how long it took him to come to that conclusion. You told him you were hiding, after all. “Don’t fuckin’ worry yourself about it now.”

“Aw, hell. Shit.” The bed frame squeaks. He’s trying to get up. “Fuck. Shit shit shit–”

“What are you doing?” You hiss, getting up to plant a hand firmly on his shoulder before he entirely gets off the bed. “Are you insane? You’re gonna tear those stitches and then I’ll have to fix them right back up. Stay. Still.”

“You’re on the run,” he repeats, gazing up at you wildly.

“We both are,” you tell him. “So don’t make it harder on the both of us, all right?”

“But what are you running from?”

You don’t answer him. You’re too busy fussing over the makeshift bandage around his waist, trying to tighten it even though you tied it rather well to begin with, and it hasn’t moved much. 

“What did you take from Jason Carver?” you ask him mildly instead. “He said that you took something from him.”

“Well. First of all, she wasn’t his property.”

“Oh.” You pause, eyeing him closely. 

“And second, I didn’t take anything. I only did what she asked me to.” Eddie looks away from you sheepishly. “And I loved her. Which is more than he can say, anyways.”

You don’t say anything, keeping your eyes downcast at the bandage around his middle. You feel your cheeks heating up in spite of yourself. 

“Not that there’s anythin’ to do about it now, y’know,” he mutters, more to himself than to you. “He’s got her locked down in some pre-matrimonial agreement and she’s not gonna leave that big bad oil tycoon for some good for nothin’ piece-a-shit outlaw who can’t give her nothing no-how, so.” 

“You clearly have a high opinion of yourself. I’m sure you must have given her something she wanted, or else you wouldn’t be here,” you remark, and you pretend not to notice the crimson blush cresting his cheeks. 

Eddie takes a shuddering breath, his eyes roving around the room rather than looking at you. “Nah… I was just a good time for her. But– but Jason’s got it in his head that I forced her, y’know. That Chrissy didn’t… she wouldn’t have done it willingly. Which I didn’t. I would never.”

“Okay,” you tell him gently, pushing one hand on his bare shoulder to ease him back against the dusty pillows. “Don’t get worked up trying to sell your story, darling. As far as I’m concerned, if you’re not gonna throw yourself at me, that’s one less thing I have to worry about.”

“Who says I’m not gonna throw myself at you, sugar?” He fixes you with a wide grin, but it doesn’t really reach his eyes. They’re too sad for that. “I’ve been known to be real loose in my time.”

You give him a deadpan look, and then reach down to gently flick his hip with your middle finger. He jumps, yelps, and then readjusts the pillow against his crotch. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. No good times for you, slick.” 

“Can’t blame a guy for trying.” Eddie sighs in defeat, laying back like a martyr. “Well, I showed you mine. What’re you running from? Pretty thing like you… can’t imagine what kind of skeletons you’ve got hidden in that corset.”

“Closet, you mean.”

“If you insist.”

You stare down at him, breathing one long exhale through your nose. He’s infuriating, even when he’s just covering up his raw emotions. 

You think for a long moment. He may not be a direct threat to you right now, but that doesn’t mean he won’t turn you in when the fancy strikes for a good enough bounty. 

“Someone… close to me. Made some people angry. And now they’re after me, too. That’s all.” Your halting speech doesn’t lend much credence to your words, but it’s just succinct enough that it doesn’t really matter. Your eyes flit nervously around the room, the satchel in the corner over your shoulder nearly buzzing like it wants to get up and tell the story itself. 

That your brother is dead. That he left you a gun and some papers that could make or break you. And right now, all it seems to be doing is breaking you. 

Eddie doesn’t bat an eye. “Who made who angry?”

“That’s not really your business, now, is it?”

“It is if they’re comin’ after me, too, sugar.” He tilts his pretty head against the pillows, and the fire gleams in his eyes. “Why do they want you?”

“The details don’t matter,” you snap at him. “I’ve told you enough. Now you know. Everything else is personal, and frankly, I don’t trust you.” 

Eddie clicks his tongue. “Shucks. That really smarts, y’know. And here I thought, what with you playing house and seeing my junk and all, maybe we were on the way to some kind of understanding.”

You suck on your teeth. He grins at you like he’s just caught you bluffing in a game of cards. You’ve spent too much time in saloons to not know a grifter when you see one. He has all the personality of a gambler without any of the subtlety.

I play dice real good. Yeah, you bet.

“Go to hell, Munson,” you grumble, turning away from him spitefully. 

“Whatever you want, sweetheart. But what’s in it for me?”

You’re halfway to figuring out exactly what would be in hell for him, when a bullet bursts through the front door and past your shoulder, hitting the back wall of the cabin. It takes you half a second to register it at all, but by that time, three more shots have taken out the left window.

“Get down!” 

Eddie’s hand snatches your wrist tightly, and the room tilts. You gasp and find yourself on the floor, in a heap, with Eddie’s weight pressing down on you. 

A bullet hits the pillow where his head just was. You can’t help the scream that rips out of you, while feathers drift through the air and bullets fly overhead. Eddie’s hand cradles the back of your head, tucking your own against his neck. Your legs are tangled in his, which is tangled in the dusty sheets from the bed and your torn petticoat. In the madness, it barely even occurs to you that he’s shielding you with his body.

“Where’s my gun?” Eddie pants in your ear.

“What?”

“The gun!”

You swivel your head to the side and spit out a strand of his curly hair that had weaseled it’s way into your mouth in the ruckus. You’d put both his guns in your satchel, and the rifle by the door. You gesture in the general direction of it.

“Motherfuck-!” Eddie’s colorful retort is drowned out by another bullet ripping into the wall just over your heads, spraying wood chips across your face.

The gunfire stops abruptly, following several shouts from outside. Masculine voices ring out in the night beyond the now-broken window. 

Suddenly, a clear voice rings out over the uproar. “Eddie?” 

Eddie turns his head in the direction of the young man’s voice. There’s nothing but darkness beyond the window, but he seems to recognize whoever it is by the sound alone.

“Henderson?” There’s a murmur of laughter from several other voices besides the one that Eddie identifies.

“What’re you doing?” the one supposed to be Henderson calls.

Eddie shifts on top of you and grunts in pain. You turn your head to look at him and see the sweat on his brow. You figure his wound must be hurting him. You lay a gentle hand on his bare shoulder, and he almost flinches when he remembers that you’re underneath him. His skin burns hot against your palm.

“Uh,” Eddie calls, his eyes flicking between you and the window. “Trying not to get shot. What’re you doing?” 

More laughter. There must be four or five voices coming from all around the cabin. With a loud, humorous gasp, Henderson calls back jovially, “Tryn’a shoot you, of course.”

[undiscovered-horizon]

In Emerald Hearts, Emerald Minds - Nikolai Lantsov x Reader

[mentions of unwanted advances + suggested groping + suggestive/sexual (consensual) themes]

☽ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ☾

SUMMARY: When Vasily asks you to forget his half-brother and marry him instead, you escape the Little Palace along Alina. Nikolai realizes something strange is going on when Kaz mentions seeing a similar emerald ring on the woman that came with the Sun Summoner. With how much you and Nikolai have been running in circles to find each other, the reunion aboard Volkvolny feels almost fated.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 4.6k

>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist&lt;<

It feels like the Winter Fete has been going on forever. The champagne keeps on being poured, the guests keep on dancing and the circus acts just keep on performing as though tomorrow is a mere mirage, a concept of a certain time period that never actually comes. Inside those walls of gold and marble, the misery devouring all of Ravka seems like nothing beyond a mad nightmare - something so removed from reality, it’s hilarious in its ridiculousness. Everyone is so carefree and happy you almost take their joy as your own.

Almost.

The orchestra begins playing Waltz of the Flowers and you feel your throat tighten. Despite doing your best not to, your mind relives that fateful night when everything changed. For the longest time, you’d been claiming that the change was for the better but now, standing alone for another year in a row and watching the dashing aristocrats spin to the music, you’re not so sure anymore.

“You really need to stop doing this,” Nikolai says firmly. Although his tone is decisive and clearly unwilling to accept defiance, a pronounced hint of amusement lives between his words - a thread of light-heartedness, one might say.

Your eyebrows gently furrow. “Doing what?”

“Smiling at me like that. Any longer and I might ask you to marry me.”

It feels like you’re about to burst at the seams. Trying to contain your emotions, and failing at it quite horribly, you bite your lower lip. “I might say yes.”

“Where have you gone, Kolya?” you whisper under your breath. The gloss of vacancy covering your eyes blurs the dancing bodies into one mass of faceless strangers. But it also makes you not notice someone approaching you.

“I find it quite admirable.”

Vasily’s voice startles you. To your now-gone relief, you didn’t have the displeasure of running into him all evening - until now. If you were to list all of the things about the older Lantsov son that makes your skin crawl, you’d be done by the time another Winter Fete is organized. The top of the list, however, deserves to be mentioned as it’s an inseparable part of your every interaction with the prince: he’s quite adamant and crude in his desire to be more than just a future brother-in-law to you.

“Excuse me?” you stutter out.

That patronizing look on his face is now accompanied by a cocky half-grin as he realizes he caught you off-guard. “Your devotion to my brother. For all we know, he might be already dead, Saints’ protect him.”

“Don’t even say that!” you hiss at him. Right after, you look around to check whether one of the guests has noticed your unpleasant exchange.

Despite what you’ve just said, you know he’s right. There’s no way you can be sure that your Kolya is either dead or alive. Perhaps this is the detail further ripping your heart apart - you don’t know anything about his fate; you’re mourning, although you’re yet to see the coffin. You haven’t for a few years now and each passing month of silence only made court gossip more cruel and bold.

“All I’m saying, dearest,” Vasily begins quietly as his hand drags along your arm, “is that the moment the news of Nikolai’s death reaches the Grand Palace, you’ll be thrown out. On the other hand, I can make you the Queen of Ravka. And unlike my brother, I won’t disappear off the face of the Earth and forget about his beloved lady.”

The word of endearment is dripping with sarcasm as it leaves his chapped lips. His breath reeks of alcohol and you unknowingly turn your head away. Vasily seems to think you’re about to leave his side, so his hand tightly grips your arm. The hold is almost bruising. He yanks you even closer towards himself.

“Kolya hasn’t forgotten about me,” you say in a shaky voice. Maybe he’s not as foolish as he appears and Vasily is genuinely trying to break you down.

The prince studies your face for a moment, definitely noticing how shaken you are. His eyes have the strangest glint to them - something between desire and contempt. “Is that so?” he barely stifles a grim laugh. “He would have written you a letter if that were true, no?”

Tears sting your eyes. Vasily is certainly smarter, or at least more cruel, than he lets on. He knows exactly what to say to get into your head. It’s a startling difference between him and Nikolai - only one of them does what he can to keep a smile on your face. Well, did.

His dirty, rough hand grabs your chin. Vasily forces you to look at him, his smile wavers upon noticing your desperation. “Consider your options, зайка,” he purrs out. The prince’s other hand trails your face. “The choice is yours.”

A tear falls down your cheek. You feel it rolling across your skin and you silently hope the guests surrounding you are watching this scene. Then, you lean in even closer to Vasily’s face. The whisper leaves your lips like a viper’s venomous hiss: "I will marry you the day you lay his dead body at my feet."

To your surprise, Vasily drops his hands and takes a step back. Despite the self-assured smile on his face, you can see the fury inside his eyes. “As you wish.” He bows curtly, turns on his heel and marches away, undoubtedly looking for another glass of alcohol and a lady naive enough to warm his bed.

The palace suddenly feels stuffy and overcrowded; the music is too loud, the plethora of smells make your head spin.

Outside. You need to get outside.

Bumping into several guests and mumbling half-coherent apologies, you run through the halls of the Little Palace. When the cold, night air hits your flushed cheeks, only then do you stop. Taking in a deep breath, you can actually feel your thoughts becoming clearer. 

With each gust of freezing wind, all the anger and sadness is leaving your shaking body. Vasily just wanted to get a rise out of you and, as much as you don’t want to admit it, he succeeded. Unlike he claims, Nikolai surely is alive. Maybe bruised or sick or not sleeping well but as long as there’s no news about him being dead, he is as alive as one can be. The same starry sky hangs above your and his heads. Perhaps, in this small moment of longing, he’s thinking about you too. Wherever he is.

A tired sigh leaves your lips. You’re about to turn around and go back inside when a silhouette moving in the night catches your attention. The shape is swift although careful like a lizard approaching a fly. You see them looking around before running for another few meters only to hide behind a bush or piece of architecture.

Curious and a little scared, you follow the stranger towards one of the carriages. Quietly, you get close enough to grab their wrist. The shape lets out a gasp and turns around to look at you.

“Alina?!” you whisper. What in Saints’ mercy is she doing? You look at her warm, casual clothes and the bag on her back. “Are you running away?”

“I need to leave,” she answers equally quietly. Her voice as well as her stare is filled with certainty - she’s convinced beyond reasonable doubt this is the right thing to do. “Please, don’t try to stop me.”

You let go of her hand. “Stop you?” A dry chuckle leaves your lips. “I’m coming with you.”

“What?” she deadpans. Alina is staring at you with a vacant stare and her mouth slightly agape. Apparently exchanging royal comforts for hay and stolen apples is unthinkable.

“If I have to spend one more day around Vasily, I will murder someone.”

Alina slowly nods her head - she can definitely understand the sentiment. A dimwitted Fjerdan would have more charm than the older prince. But then she squints her eyes, looking at you with a sense of scepticism.

“Out there, there won’t be warm beds and three-course dinners, you know?”

“I know,” you answer with a careless shrug. Loitering and wandering isn’t for ladies of your sort, it’s like throwing a finless fish into a tank with sharks. Despite that, you’re quite convinced the means justify the end, at least in this scenario. “But out there is my Kolya. And I’m done politely waiting for him.”

A shadow of sadness covers her face. If there’s anyone who can understand your plight, it’s her. In fact, she is luckier than you - she saw her lover maybe an hour ago. Pleasant or unpleasant, the meeting confirmed to her that Mal is at least alive. It’s not a privilege you could afford.

“Then let’s go,” she says to you before opening the chest in the back of the carriage. Forgetting all of your etiquette and social standing, you climb into the compartment with her. Towards adventure or death, you’re going somewhere.

“The ring gave you away,” Kaz announces. “It’s too expensive for a bodyguard.”

Jesper knits his eyebrows together, suddenly remembering something. He leans towards Kaz but speaks a little too loudly for the question to be inconspicuous: “Didn’t that girl wear the same-”

When Kaz’s cold glare meets Jesper’s squinted eyes, the dark-skinned man immediately closes his mouth halfway through the question. Both of them sit back as they were but the cat is already out of the bag. Well, not entirely - half of it is peeking out of the metaphorical sack.

Nikolai looks between them with unmissable suspicion. Although he’s heard enough to be aware of the possibility that the Sun Summoner isn’t travelling by herself, this is the first time either of the Crows admits it.

His heart begins to beat slightly quicker: Alina run away from the Little Palace along with another woman and that lady was wearing a royal jewel at the time. As long as Vasily didn’t lose his signet on one of his distasteful escapades, the course of events points to only one person - you. Shoving his restless excitement into the deepest chasms of his heart, Nikolai manages to remain his composure:

“Who was wearing that ring?” The prince-turned-privateer unknowingly fiddles with the heavy jewellery on his finger. Noticing the Crows’ reluctance, he makes them an offer: “If you tell me who you saw wearing an emerald ring, I might, say, give you ten minutes to escape.” Nikolai vaguely gestures to the closed window on his right-hand side.

Kaz knows there’s no point in lying any longer. The man in front of him is not only well-informed but also smarter than he looks, making the Crow wonder whether he also knows the answer to this question but prefers to play some kind of a game. In any event, he’s done his part of the deal and his ex-accomplices are left to their own devices. Additionally, he could really use those ten minutes. “A young woman that accompanied Alina Starkov. High-born, confident, decisive. Not a Grisha as far as I know.”

“Not a Lantsov, obviously,” Jesper chips in.

Brekker’s keen eyes catch the barely noticeable change in Sturmhond’s expression - the corner of his mouth merely stuttered up and down but it is enough to tell Kaz as much as he needs:

“You know her.”

Know her? If Nikolai had a weaker grip on his emotions at the moment, he’d laugh until his stomach and diaphragm hurt and then he’ll burst with laughter once more, unspeakably joyous that he might get to see her sooner than he thought. Yes, he does know her but in the way heart knows blood and lungs know air. She’s the ligament that keeps his bones together, the fibres that construct his muscles, the very blood that runs in his veins. Does the Moon simply know the stars? Do trees know their roots and branches?

But for now, he needs to stay focused. 

“Not really,” Sturmhond answers while scrunching his nose. “Many aristocrats wear a ring like that. While I may know of a lot of them, I hardly know anything about them.”

Kaz fights back a mocking half-grin begging to twist his thin lips. “I’d argue that an emerald in Ravka is a rather rare gem.”

“Hers is probably genuine. Mine’s stolen.”

Silence falls between the three men. Nikolai and Kaz are staring each other down, battling in some kind of war of wits and nerves, waiting for the other to give in. Jesper is stealing glances at both of them, feeling the cold tension rise in the air.

Against his deep-seated desire, Kaz doesn’t inquire further about the emeralds or the strange coincidence that the two enigmatic characters wearing them might know each other. He sits back in the chair, his shoulders visibly drop. As much as he’d love to dig deeper, he’d much rather get out of here and reclaim his freedom that is now endangered.

“Well, gentlemen,” Nikolai begins in an upbeat tone, “your ten minutes start now.”

Without saying anything else, he leaves the room. Only then, when the dark, wooden door close behind him, does he let suppressed emotions wash over him. A quiet chuckle brushes past his lips and for a moment even tears sting his eyes. Delight, worry, relief - conflicting sensations merge into one, completely overpowering flame burning inside his chest.

Maybe he doesn’t have the Sun Summoner and he still needs to come up with a plan to catch her but Nikolai hasn’t been this happy for a while now: his солиышко is alright, still making the world brighter and warmer. If he can get to Alina Starkov, he might see her again, although he begins to wonder whether she wishes to see him after all those years of silence and ignorance. But if he can see her, just witness the marvel of her entire being even for one last second, he’ll be cured of the longing and loneliness that has been gnawing at him ever since he left Os Alta.

You’re following the Shu man to what you assume is his captain’s cuddy. The ship creeks and groans under the weight of the crew as well as the power of the waves. The bussing crewmen spare the three of you a glance, only to show disinterest and go back to their duties. It’s a nice change compared to the kerchen ship you travelled on to Novyi Zem, where the captain asked Alina and you to stay under the deck because of the sailors’ superstition. After getting off the ship, it took you a good week to wash out the reek of cured cod from your clothes and hair. Sometimes you still felt like you can smell it in the air, even in the dusty wind sweeping through Novyi Zem.

Your ‘guide’ pushes the door and they swing open with a creak, the list of the ship aiding the motion. Except for the squeaky hinges, probably rusting faster than anyone can manage, Volkvolny is in good shape. In fact, it looks brand new - no mould or woodworms.

“Captain, request for charter,” the stocky stranger announces with a hint of amusement or excitement in his voice. Despite his imposing visage, the Shu man has made a good impression on you but the long sword on his back kept you vigilant against getting too comfortable in his company.

Only when he moves to the side, presenting the three of you to his captain, do you see the face of the infamous Sturmhond.

You want to laugh. In fact, you have to clench your fists to stop yourself from bursting out with laughter. This situation feels like the strangest coincidence that you can think of, which in turn makes you suspect that it’s not a coincidence at all. Because what are the odds?

Nikolai’s face momentarily brightens up when he recognizes you, a new glint lights up his eyes. He looks different than you remember but in all the right ways: his shoulders look broader and his hair is longer, curling in a way that makes him appear more infantile. You remembered him as a handsome man but the Nikolai in front of you is beautiful enough to be considered unreal.

He's staring into you like a deer caught in headlights until Tolya hands him Alina’s unusual means of payment. As Nikolai is turning the piece of jewellery in his fingers, you notice another change: his hands look rougher, definitely scarred from all the adventures you hope you’re yet to hear about.

The blond prince turns his attention back to Alina, Mal and you. “A gold hairpin can get you anywhere. But an emerald ring?” He gestures to you. “It can get you everywhere.”

“It’s not for sale,” you answer, although you know he’s not trying to buy it. After all, he’s the one that gave it to you.

“I don’t want it.” Nikolai shakes his head. Then, a flirty smile appears on his face. “Looks better on you anyway, doll.”

You’re about to respond to his remark when his attention is once again placed on Alina. “Now, Tolya says you’re looking for a charter. Where are we sailing?”

Alina begins the story with ‘the creation of the world’ as your mother used to say: the Little Palace, Darkling, Morozova’s amplifiers and the Fold. Nikolai nods along, never giving away that he’s privy to most of the story. He doesn’t believe in the Sea Whip at first but that’s hardly his fault - not too long ago people wouldn’t believe in the existence of the Sun Summoner and now she’s standing beside you, nervously rubbing her hand. As you have expected from the moment you saw that Nikolai is Sturmhond, he agrees to the insanity of taking up the quest to catch the amplifier.

“Tolya will show you around.” He sends you off. You’re about to follow your friends out of the cuddy when he adds: “You, emerald lady, I’d like to talk to in private.”

Alina gives you a concerned look (‘blink twice if you need help’)  but you only smile and nod at her in response. With Mal tugging at her arm, she reluctantly leaves you and Sturmhond alone.

The moment the door closes behind Tolya and your friends, Nikolai runs around his desk towards you, engulfing you in a bone-crushing hug. His hand threads through your hair, pushing your head further into the crook of his neck. Even if you tried, there’s no way you can pull away or even move. Taking a deep breath, you smell the familiar fragrance of his cologne but now it’s mixed with the scent of resin, saltwater and seaweed.

Then he pulls away, looking you up and down with burning worry. “Are you alright? Are you hurt? What are you doing here?”

You swear he could be bleeding out on the floor and still he’d be apologizing for staining your clothes. It’s heartwarming that despite the years and evident change in his appearance, Kolya is still Kolya.

A wide smile enters your face. “Looking for a frisky sailor to take me on a voyage filled with indecency, obviously.”

“Well, here he is.” Nikolai points to himself and winks at you. “And he’d really like to know why you’re in Novyi Zem with the Sun Summoner and whats-his-face and not in the Grand Palace in Os Alta.”

You let out a heavy sigh and shake your head gently. “I grew tired, Kolya.” His eyebrows slant upon hearing the exhaustion in your voice. Despite the sheer happiness he feels when you say his name, the concern gnawing at his heart seems to be more powerful. “Years have gone by without you giving me even the tiniest sign that you’re alive and well. And your brother, Saint’s have mercy on him because I won’t, has been adamant about marrying me ever since you left. I told him I will accept his proposal the day he lays your dead body before me.” You make pause, noticing a strange shadow hanging over Nikolai’s face. But he’s not saying anything for a moment, so you finish what you wanted to say: “I had to get away from it all. There’s only so much uncertainty and intruding fingers a lady can take.”

“By the Saints,” he breathes out, “did Vasily lay a hand on you?”

You feel his grip around you tighten but it’s not painful, rather securing. “If you’re asking whether he hit me or forced himself on me, then no, he did not. He did, however, make it abundantly clear what he wants from me. On multiple occasions.”

Nikolai’s face twists in a scowl. The glint that lit up his eyes when he saw you is now gone, exchanged for something dark and unstable. “I’m so sorry, if I knew-”

“I know, love,” you interrupt him. He doesn’t need to announce the ends he’d go to in order to ensure you’re safe and comfortable. Nikolai has never said or done so but you’re fairly convinced he wouldn’t shy away from fistfighting Vasily if he said something less-than-savoury to you. “But neither of us could have known.”

“I promised you’d be safe in Os Alta.”

“And I promised to stay put.” You can’t keep laughter in any longer. You’re not quite sure whether your chuckle is born out of happiness or disbelief. “Now look at us.”

Suddenly, he knits his eyebrows close. At first, you think he’s confused but then the slight rise of his cheeks suggests something closer to contempt or disgust. "Would you actually marry Vasily if he gave you my dead body?"

You can only give him an indifferent shrug. "Maybe?” you ponder aloud. “If you were dead, I would lose all care about what happens to me or with me. In a way, I’d be dead too."

Nikolai takes one of your hands and kisses its fingers. Your breath hitches in your throat when you feel his warm lips against your skin. “I could never rest in peace knowing how he’s treating you.”

“Having you haunt me would be incomparably better than you just being gone. Everything is better than silence.”

His shoulders slouch. Nikolai looks away from you for a moment, admiring the floor in his cuddy but even this can’t hide his guilt and shame. “I couldn’t have just popped in for a visit. Not anywhere in Ravka.”

"You couldn't even have written me a letter?"

"Someone at the palace would recognize my handwriting. I couldn't risk it."

"Then you could have dictated the letter to one of your crew."

That self-assured, flirty smirk appears again on his face. "And scandalize my crewmen with the things I want to tell you?”

As much as you’ve dearly missed his insufferable humour, at the moment it’s making your skin crawl. “This is a serious conversation, Nikolai,” you state firmly.

“I am serious, солиышко.” The pet name rolls off his tongue with both weight and lightness as though it belongs exclusively to you and no one else can ever claim it as their own. He kisses your hand again but keeps it against his lips for a while longer. Then, he places your fingers on his chest and you can feel the soft thrumming of his heart. “Do you think I never thought about writing to you? That I didn’t stay up at night thinking about what I will tell you when we meet again? Countless letters I have begun only to tear them apart and throw them into the sea or burn them. If some people found out we know each other, you’d be in much greater danger than Darkling following your steps. I’d rather deal with the heartbreak of staying away from you than know I put you in danger because I can’t live without you.”

It brings you a grim sense of comfort that he’s been equally torn as you were over the lack of contact. You never thought about it before but Nikolai must have been worried sick, not knowing whether you’re alright and happy. Has he imagined your plight and misery as often as you did his?

“What did you write in those letters?” you ask in a shaky voice.

“I wrote about how much I miss you, how it physically hurts to consider that you might think I have abandoned you. When I was hungry, cold, tired or sick, only the memories of you made me push on. On nights when I couldn’t sleep, I’d stare at the sky above me and wonder whether you’re looking at the same stars. I wrote that wherever I go, I see your face. You are in every sunrise and sunset, every flower I see and every fire that warms me.” Nikolai lets go of your fingers, placing both of his hands on either side of your face. The softness in his eyes makes you swoon. “I only wrote the truth,” he says slowly, making sure you understand the weight of his words.

Swallowing back tears, you lean into his warm touch. “My beloved, my heart yearns for you?” you jest in a dramatic voice.

A playful smile creeps back unto his lips. “If only my heart.”

“Gross.”

“You wanted a frisky sailor.”

"You’re a pirate, not a sailor.”

"I’m a privateer,” he drones out the word as though it makes a world of a difference.

"Pirate sounds sexier."

Nikolai gives you a fake frown. “Oh, I definitely am a pirate."

Without thinking twice, he’s kissing you. The sensation is just as comforting as you remember. His soft lips are doting on you, growing needier with each peck as though this is some feverish attempt at making up the lost time. 

He pulls away to catch his breath and although you’re panting yourself, you unknowingly chase after him, unwilling to dismiss this carnal desire just yet. Nikolai seems to notice your eagerness - he flashes you a cocky grin and shortly pecks your lips again.

“You crossed Ravka, the Fold and the sea just to find me?” he whispers. His eyes are stuck to your wet, swollen mouth.

“And I’d do it a hundred more times if I had to.”

You exchange a few more hungry kisses, pecking and nipping at each other’s lips, before Nikolai continues the conversation:

“I want to say that I’m flattered but I’d rather not encourage you to do something this stupid and dangerous ever again.”

“Hate to break it to you but you took all the stupid with you.”

He rests his forehead against yours; hot, laboured breaths brush against your flushed cheeks. “I’d like to clarify that I’m not stupid, I just can’t seem to think about anything other than you.”

Nikolai wraps his arms around your waist. In a swift motion, he turns you around and pushes you against the edge of his desk. His strength surprises you when Nikolai effortlessly lifts you and places you atop the table, pushing off maps and navigation essentials. Firm, warm hands are restlessly wandering across your body, unsure where to lay or what to grab.

You gasp quietly when his fingers sneak underneath your shirt. “Is this the indecent part of the voyage, my frisky sailor?”

“By the Saints, I hope so,” he whispers against your lips. Then, he furrows his eyebrows questioningly. “Is that offensive to say around a living Saint?”

“I don’t think Alina heard you.”

His nimble fingers are quickly undoing the buttons on your clothes. “Well, she will hear you in a moment.”

“Gross,” you say with laughter in your voice but the word gets muffled as Nikolai gets back to kissing you again.

Even if the crew did hear you that day, no one dared say a word.

зайка [zay-ka] - bunny (feminine; term of endearment)

солиышко [sol-nee-shko] - little sun (unisex; term of endearment)

[thetriumphantpanda]

i don't really wanna fight, 'cause nobody's gonna win | javier peña

Take The Weight Off His Shoulders - Chapter Eight

Chapter Summary | A little slice of domesticity wasn't ever going to be enough to cover the stress of the story unfolding on your desk, but it was worth a shot right?

Chapter Warnings | Mentions of drugs and the drug trade, work frustrations, explicit smut, fingering, unprotected PiV smut, creampie, dirty talk, we ride this man like our LIFE depends on it and some ANGST (I'm sorry, it had to happen sometime.)

Pairing | dbf!Javier Peña x F!Reader

Word Count | 3.2k

Authors Note | OOOOOF okay we're back with these two. Real life has been kicking my ass so I'm sorry this took so long - but we're moving into the tail end of this now so prepare yourselves for even more drama! Thank you for being so patient with me and waiting for this - I hope you enjoy it. If you are enjoying this then reblogs and comments really do help and if you’d like to support me further, please consider a donation to my Ko-Fi. 

I no longer use taglists. Please follow @thetriumphantpandanotifs to be notified of new updates.

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The words on the deed to the drug den in town are all forming into one - you’re not actually sure they’re in the English language anymore. You’ve been staring at the pages for what feels like a full week, even if you’d only spread them out for reading on your desk this morning. You don’t know what to do. There is, of course, the obvious option, of walking right up to their front door and asking what the hell is going on, but the more you dig, the more you think there’s something bigger going on here.

You pour over your notes, trying to make sense of it all. It was nothing to do with Tyler Johnson, but it had something to do with his family, that was for sure. There’s no way that this whole thing would have been brushed under the rug and dealt with by the police saying ‘oh well, we don’t know’ if there wasn’t something incriminating behind it all. You tried not to think about that possibly meaning your dad was implicated somewhere along the line.

Instead of sitting around and feeling useless, considering the words on the page weren’t leading you anywhere at all, you tidy up your desk, stick your head around your managers door to tell her you were heading out for the story, and you get in your car and drive.

They lead such dull lives, is all you can really think at this point. The sun is setting and it’s finally starting to cool a little. The thought process had been simple, if you weren’t going to catch them in the act on paper, you would have to catch them in the act for real - whatever that act might be.

You’d started with Tyler’s dad, following behind him as he went about mayoral business, driving from his office to some meeting in town and then back again. You’d waited an hour in the parking lot to see if he moved again, but gave up after a while. Deciding on following Tyler’s brother instead - but he’d been more of the same. You’d found him getting into his car at work once the day was done, driving to the grocery store and then going home. That was it. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Thinking about it, what would you even do if you did find them doing something? Tyler’s brother getting a package handed to him down a dark alley - there’s no way to get any proof, you don’t have a camera, and no-one’s going to believe you against them. The more you sit there, the more you think maybe you should have taken the story at face value, published it and moved on.

You suppose that these kinds of operations take time and patience - two things you were running seriously low on by now. You’re thinking of all the time’s Javi must have needed to do this - sitting around in a car waiting to catch someone doing something and wondered how he’d lasted so long. You weren’t made for this kind of work.

Sighing to yourself, you turn the key in the ignition and head home, trying not to let the frustration bubble over. You just had to wait. Bide your time. Surely somewhere along the line you’d catch someone doing something.

“You look stressed.”

You look at Javi through your eyelashes, taking a sip from the glass of wine in front of you on the counter. Your parents were taking their two week annual vacation - some place near the coast in Florida. You remember going when you were little, playing in the sand and swimming. They’d invited you this year but now you were older, it didn’t hold quite the same amount of charm as it used to, so you’d opted to stay at home.

The upside to not getting to lounge in the sun for two weeks was definitely this though. Javier Peña, hunched over the hob, sleeves of his shirt rolled up, cooking dinner for you. It was dangerous to think about how domestic it was, but you couldn’t deny how nice it felt. There was no-one to lie to about why you were late home from work for now, no need to rush through whatever it was that the two of you were doing.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t need to be sorry,” He smiles at you, picking up his beer bottle to drink from, “You want to talk about it?”

You shake your head, “It’s alright, just stuff at work.”

“In all my years of working with journalists,” He speaks, stirring the pot of sauce in front of him, “I don’t think any of them were ever as stressed as you.”

“I just care about my work.”

“So did they,” He counters, picking a strand of spaghetti from the pot to test to see if it’s cooked, “Just trying to say there isn’t a story out there worth getting this worked up over.”

“I appreciate it,” You mumble, “But can we not talk about work?”

He holds his hands up in surrender, focusing his attention on dishing up the food - spaghetti with tomato sauce. It’s simple and you know it’s probably the limit of his cooking ability outside of being able to grill meat on fire, but it’s the thought that counts. You sit at the dining table and eat together, talking about nothing really, just enough to fill the silence. Even though he cooked, he insists on clearing up and packaging the leftovers for you to eat tomorrow.

You sit and watch TV on the couch and when it gets late enough and your head starts to rest on his shoulder, Javi asks if you want to go to bed.

“I do,” You answer, “But not to sleep.”

So he slowly leads you up the stairs and into your room, softly closing the door behind him. You settle yourself under your sheets, pushing them back on the other side for him as he takes off everything he’s wearing apart from his underwear and gets into bed with you. He shuffles you around so your back in pressed to his front, his big hands wandering from your hips up to your chest, where he gently cups one of your tits in his hands over the shirt you’re wearing.

You can feel his mouth trailing kissing up your shoulder until he reaches the delicate skin behind your ear, the tickle of his facial hair there making goosebumps rise on your skin, regardless of how warm it is under your sheets.

“What do you want?” He whispers softly, snaking his free arm under your neck so the side of your face is pillowed against it.

You don’t answer, you just take hold of his wrist, dragging his hand from your chest to the waistband of your shorts. You let his hand go then, feeling his big palm cup you through the material, “Like this?” He asks, teeth nipping at your ear lobe.

“No,” You shake your head, “Under.”

That big hand drags up just a little, fingers finding the waistband again, dipping below this time. He tuts into your ear when he finds you bare, having not bothered with underwear when you’d changed out of your work clothes.

His hand is warm against your skin as it envelops you again, fingers dipping ever so slightly between the folds of your pussy to find you already wet, it doesn’t take much at all when he’s around.

Fingers dragging through the slick, up to circle your clit, he speaks again, “Like this?” He asks, feather-light touches of his fingers making you gasp.

“Y-yeah,” You choke out, “Just like that.”

So that’s what he does - let’s you rest your head against his arm, lazily rolling his finger across that bundle of nerves like he has all the time in the world for making you feel good. It’s slow, the only punctuation to his fingers are the moans he lets out into your ear whenever he pushes his hips against the plush of your ass, his bulge prominent against the clothes that are separating you.

“I want you to come for me,” He whispers gently a little while later, teeth biting gently into the skin of your shoulder, “Can you be a good girl and do that for me?”

You nod your head, unable to speak through the short, sharp gasps that the friction between your legs is drawing out from you. He speeds up a little, lets his finger add more pressure there. He lets you roll your hips, chasing at the high that is just there, coiling in your tummy. Your body starts to shake, thighs clamping down on his hands as he brings you over the edge.

“Fuck yeah,” He rasps into your ear, “So fucking pretty when you come for me, mi querida.”

Through the haze of pleasure, you can feel him rolling you over, pressing your back into the sheets. He’s settling between your thighs, pulling your shorts off altogether, but you don’t want it like this, so you press a palm to his warm chest to stop him.

“I want…” You trail off, “I think I want to be on top.”

You watch his eyebrows raise a little but he doesn’t protest, because of course he doesn’t, he simply lies himself back down on his side of the bed and waits for you. You let yourself straddle his thighs, marvelling just a little at the bulge of his underwear, before you’re hooking your fingers into the waistband to drag them just far enough down his thighs to let his cock spring free, resting on his lower stomach.

Shuffling up his thighs a little, you lower yourself, letting your soaked folds drag across his length whilst your mouth moves up to suckle at the skin of his neck. You can feel his hands on the globes of your ass, helping to drag you up and down his cock.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” He asks as you moan when the head of his cock brushes against your still-sensitive clit.

You don’t have any words, so you press yourself up, palms against his chest as you lift your hips just enough for him to reach between you, base of his cock fisted in his hand, to nudge at the weeping hole of your cunt. He holds it there for you as you slowly start to sink down onto him, moaning with your head thrown back at the stretch of taking him inside. When you reach the bottom, feeling him sucked right into the depths of you, you stay still, rolling your hips a little, feeling him so deep inside you.

Javi brings his hands to your hips, looking up at you as he guides your movements, slow forwards movements matched with even slower movements backwards, until the two of you are panting together.

You push yourself back, letting your arms fall behind you onto his knees, which have come up to rest against your backside, slowly starting to lift off him until he’s almost all the way out of the tight heat of your cunt, then you slide back down onto him, finding a rhythm of bouncing up and down on his cock.

Javi moves one of his hands from your hips, letting the flat palm run up your stomach, through the valley of your tits to lightly grip at the base of your neck. He doesn’t add any pressure, just holds his hand there, but you can feel the effect it has on you, pussy clenching around his length as you continue to bounce up and down on him.

“Look so fucking pretty like this,” He manages to choke out between moans, “Like you were made to be right here bouncing on my cock.”

“I-I think I’m g-gonna come again.” You hiss, feeling that familiar tightening in your tummy.

“Yeah?” He goads, but not unkindly, “You gonna come around my cock for me?”

To help you get there, Javi starts to thrust up into you, hand still at the base of your neck, hitting into your perfectly on your downward motion to fill you right to your depths, making your orgasm hit you head on. You feel yourself tighten around him, body collapsing forward to rest against his chest as he fucks you through the aftershocks of your climax, gripping onto your ass to keep you spread so he can find his own high, thrusting a handful of times before he’s stilling inside you, spilling himself inside with moans right into your ear.

He slips out of you as he softens, shifting you so you’re led down, both catching your breath.

“Sorry, I should have asked about that.” He mumbles, and it takes you a minute to realise he’s talking about coming inside you.

“It’s okay,” You say, turning your head to smile at him, “Although it does mean I have to go to the bathroom now.”

You drag yourself up onto all fours onto your bed, dragging yourself to the door to cover yourself in your robe before you leave Javi in your room to head to the bathroom.

He doesn’t know why he does it. In hindsight, it was out of order, but when you close the door behind you, he can’t help himself. He stands up, pulls his underwear back up and puts the rest of his clothes back on. Then he sits down on your edge of the bed and gingerly opens the top drawer of your bedside table.

There’s nothing much of note in there, a few lip balms and an old notebook, but that’s it. He opens the bottom one next, which is much more full, mainly with notebooks and sheets of paper. He knows he shouldn’t, but he reaches in and picks the first up, flicking it open to a random page somewhere in the middle, running his thumb across a loose sheet of paper before his eyes circle in on what the paper actually is.

It’s a newspaper article, reporting on Escobar’s death. When Javi looks underneath the paper there are notes written in your handwriting, detailing parts of the story that are interesting. He flicks to another page, another article about Escobar dying, with more of your handwritten notes. He can feel the panic rising in his chest, threatening to take hold of his throat.

He puts that notebook on the bed, reaches in and picks another up, flicking through to find more of the same - articles about the entire Escobar case, more handwritten notes - some written in red ink that only ever say his name with a question mark, like you’re asking yourself if he was responsible for the ill-reported heroics. Javi is too caught up in flicking through that he forgets about your return, letting you catch him red-handed when you come back through the door.

“What are you doing?” You ask, making him look up.

Your eyes are wide, like you’re shocked to find him with your notebooks in his lap.

“What’s all this?” He asks, instead of answering your question.

You surge forward, grabbing the notebook from his lap, slapping it shut, picking up the other one and then shoving them back in the drawer, “Did you go through my things?” He can tell from your tone that you’re worked up.

“Why do you have all of that?” Javi asks, standing up from the bed to take some steps away from you.

“It’s not what you think.”

“Well then tell me what it is.” He’s getting more annoyed as the moments go past.

“It was for my degree,” You say, shifting from foot-to-foot, “I don’t understand what the problem is?”

“The problem is, it’s all fucking lies!” He runs a hand over his face, more annoyed at himself for shouting at you than anything else, “It’s all fucking lies and you believe it.”

He watches as your face drops, he can see the glassing over of your eyes, “I-” You try to speak, “I’m sorry?” It’s more of an offering, like you don’t know what else to do.

“All of that shit?” He asks, pointing to the now closed drawer, “Fucking propaganda for this country to seem like it had control, when all it fucking did was make everything worse.”

“Javi, please,” You beg now, taking a step towards him with your hands open in surrender, “Why don’t you sit down and take a breath?”

He can feel himself shaking his head, stepping backwards until he can feel the handle of your door, twisting it to open. He thinks he’s saying sorry, telling you that he’s sorry, but he doesn’t know. All he knows is that he has to get out of there and away from you, almost running from the house and into his truck.

It’s not until he’s halfway to home that he can feel that panic take over, pulling over on the side of the road, knuckles turning white as he grips the steering wheel. He takes some deep breaths, trying to understand why his brain has gone from 0-100 so quickly, and all he can think of is that you’re just like everyone else in this damn town, thinking that he was a hero, that he’d played his part properly, correctly, in bringing that bastard down. I’d the wondering about what you’d think of him if you knew what he’d really done, the amount of blood actually on his hands, the fact he wasn’t here there when Murphy shot the bastard.

It’s that feeling of inadequacy that haunt him in bed that night, led against the pillows, other side cold and empty when all he wishes is that he’d stayed, let you curl into him so that he could get at least a few hours of rest. Even though he never stays the night, always leaving you with a press of lips to your head, the small hours of the morning where you’re sleeping against him are the most peaceful he thinks he’s ever had.

So, staring at his ceiling, red numbers from his clock staring him down as the hours pass, all he can think about it what the fuck he’s going to do, how he’s going to explain that this has nothing to do with you and what it had to do with your degree, and everything to do with the way he thinks if you knew exactly what had happened, outside of what the American press has told you, you’d probably hate him.

[romana-after-dark]

Our Gentle Sins: Chapter 8

Thank you so so so much to @plasticbabies for making this beautiful header!!!! we finally have a good one!

Dark!Logan Howlett x fem!reader

Series Masterlist : Main Masterlist : Logan Masterlist

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Chapter summary: Past. Logan and you dance. Present. Your admit your issues with doctors.

Warnings: This fic features non con, pregnancy, and themes of religous trauma. I will not be saying everything that happens to warm you, by clicking read more you are prepared for extremely dark themes and that you at 18+. You are responsible for your own media consumption.

3.0 words

Before

You were beautiful. No, no, beautiful wasn’t enough. Radiant. Ethereal… Fuck, Logan was struggling to find words as he watched you in your dress, confidently striding around the dance with a spring in your step. You wore a yellow, floral dress that vaguely resembled regency era, everyone around you wearing the best they could get. Charles had put money towards allowing the teens to get nice dress clothes, believing knowing how to dress properly was important, so when you and your literature class planned a school ball, they were prepared. Everyone came, because of course they did. You were the favorite teacher.

Being the favorite teacher meant Logan hadn’t hardly seen you all evening, watching you float like a butterfly around the hall talking to everyone. You had enlisted him and Remy, as well as a few others like Scott or Emma to help chaperone, but you and Remy and him had spent the week setting everything up. Logan never saw himself as the type to hang up streamers, but for you he’d do it all. Sometimes, he’d catch you glancing towards him even while chatting with another, and that made him happy.

You made him happy.

“She’s beautiful, Logan.” Kurt appeared next to him, but Logan didn’t stop watching you. The way you looked tonight, he needed to make sure you didn’t suffer unwanted attention. He’d protect you. 

“Yeah, she really is.”

“You make a move yet?”

Logan rolls his eyes. Kurt was nosey. “No, Kurt. You know I can’t.”

A chuckle beside him. “No, I actually don’t. Charles didn’t actually say you couldn’t. I think you just like to wallow in self pity. Remy agrees.”

His head whips towards his friend, tearing his eyes off you for just a minute. “The fuck you talking to the Cajun about me for?”

Kurt remained playful. “Besides you and her, no one wants you together more than Remy does. Now, for fucks sake Logan, go get your girl.”

*

You were talking to Hank, discussing the struggles of making the most period accurate dance you could with one of the few people here who could understand.

“Can I cut in?”

Logan.

You turn to see him, and god, he was beautiful as ever, but incredible in that dapper suit. He slaps a friendly hand on Hank’s back, and Hank gives him a knowing look, politely excusing himself to go get some food. Logan smiles down at you, holding out his hand. “May I have this dance?”

Heat warms your skin, heart picking up as you try and fail to hold back a smile, taking his hand. “My dance card is very full, but I think I can squeeze you in.”

It was perfect. Logan, being the man 200 something years old, knew how to dance. Remaining chaste, somehow you still managed to feel like he was burning a hole through your clothes when he touched you. His hand on your waste felt indecent, salacious… but his touch on your shoulder was downright lewd. Logan had never seen your shoulders, always covered up even that night, and a few nights after, you came to his room as he tossled in the throws of a nightmare. Not that he had seen the waist he touched so lightly either, but you imagined him slipping off the dress with the hand on you, heat beginning to pool in your stomach.

 Logan had never mentioned catching you masturbating, although he’d certainly heard you calling his name as well. The window was nothing to his hearing. He was polite enough to leave it be, and that’s one of the things that made you fall in love with him. He was better than you deserved. Logan was good, Logan was kind and gentle and you didn’t care what other people thought of him. He was better than you.

“You look beautiful, Dolly.” Logan spoke earnestly, thumb caressing over the material on your collar bone, making you wince in pain, his large hand splayed over you. 

The compliment made you blush, casting your eyes away. You knew how to take a compliment, even if you weren’t convinced of its truth. “Thank you.”

“Hey.” His hand, smooth and soft from the regenerative cells in his body, cupped your face, coaxing it up to look at him. “I mean it.” When your eyes avoid his, he presses further. “Why don’t you believe me?”

You swallow hard. How to explain it without sounding like a jealous or catty bitch. You didn’t hate other women. You were jealous of many here, yes of course you were. Jean, Emma, Rogue, Storm. Of course you were jealous, you weren’t an idiot. But it wasn’t the sort that made you dislike them. All the women here had been wonderful to you, but still, you struggled to connect. You felt out of place in womanhood, often feeling as if you were a perpetual teenage girl on the outskirts, no idea how to be a woman correctly. It wasn’t that you were a virgin, but you hadn’t had any idea what they were talking about with sex. Your husband made you feel dirty for wanting to try anything new.

You didn’t know how to do make-up or how to dress like them, do hair and fuck and kiss and maybe kiss each other? You didn’t know. Did friend kiss all the time like in college movies? What was normal? Getting married at 16 certainly wasn’t. You couldn’t really talk to them about interests because you didn’t really know what interested you. You liked reading, but the books Emma read were…. Well, far from the Jane Austen and Agatha Christie you read. Part of you wanted to read those books… but you was scared.

It was a big world out there, and you didn’t know how to navagate it.

“Dolly, talk to me.”

“I just… sometimes I wonder why you spend so much time with me… there are far prettier women here-”

“Dolly-” 

“Who don’t cry when they try on pants, who don’t dress like grandmas, who can drive a car-”

Who can give you children.

“Hey-”

“You should be spending your time chasing someone who can give you what you want. I’m not an idiot, Logan. I know you feel what I feel for you but…” Tears prickled at your eyes. “But I can’t… I can’t be what you need or want, Logan. I can’t.”

For a long moment, you danced in silence, Logan leaving you in a waltz as bodies blurred around you. Scott and Emma, Remy and Rogue, student couples of yours who you’d suspected were together… all of it surround you, filling the air with lust and love and friendship. In the middle of it, you and Logan, some combination of all three.

“I’m not who you think I am, Logan.”

“What do you know of what I need, baby doll? I don’t need what others have. I need what you have. I need you. You. You are my dolly, nothing else matters.”

Your next words blurted out. “I can’t get pregnant.”

Another pause. “I guessed that.”

Your head whips up, finally looking at him in shocked confusion. “What?!”

“Fundamentalists don’t believe in birth control. They don’t even believe in um… natural family planning. You were married several years. So, either you didn’t get pregnant either because of you or him, or you left children behind.”

“I’d never leave children with that monster.” You spat out your words.

“I know. I know you wouldn’t. I figured it was either you or him.”

His trust in your character touched you, but there was something else that stood out. “What do you mean him?” Logan narrowed his eyes, brows pinched together.

“Him? If he didn’t have enough…” He hesitated to find the polite words. “Well, if the issue was on his end.”

Your skin, if it was burning before with Logan’s touch, was on fire in a rage. “You mean the issue could’ve been him?”

*

You were absolutely livid. All those years, all those years he blamed you, said you were barren, and it could have been him! Your beliefs at the time didn’t allow for medical intervention for women who struggled with infertility (natural only!) so you never went to the doctor for help conceiving. For years you were miserable, wanting a child, wanting nothing more than to be a mother, told all you were worth was your potential motherhood and since you couldn’t live up to it, you were nothing.

And it might not have been because of you.

Logan watched with concern as your eyes filled with tears, burying your head in his nice shirt to hide your crying as you explained it all. Every negative pregnancy test, how badly you wanted it, the nights you spent on your knees until the bruises begin God to be worthy of a child.. How every time one of your siblings or church members announced a pregnancy you rejoiced for them but felt a punch in the gut, how your husband beat you for your failures. 

“Did Logan make you cry?”

Scott pulled you out of your thoughts. Not long after you and Logan danced, Scott asked for one and you happily obliged. Scott was very kind. Remy was a good friend, Logan was… whatever was happening with Logan. But Scott checked in on you regularly. See if you needed anything, if you were settling into the school well, if you were having any trouble or concerns with the teens. When you were sick, he checked in late that day much to Logans annoyance.

“What?” You snap to attention. “Oh! No, no… I was just… other stuff, you know.”

You couldn’t see Scotts eyes, so reading his face was harder than with most. Over the years, you’ve gotten good at reading men's body language and facial expressions, the only way to survive in the male dominated world you grew up in. Scott was an enigma. 

“Are you sure? Because Judith,” His use of your pseudonym threw you off. “If anyone here is harming you, we won’t protect them. I know the life you had, but you can just us. We won’t choose Logan over you.”

What on earth was he talking about? “Logan wouldn’t hurt me, Mr. Summers.” You insist, eyes searching for Remy, hoping to get out of this conversation.

Scott’s thumb pulled at the top of your dress, moving it aside just a single inch, but you knew what it revealed. You gasp, swiftly covering it up again, hoping no one saw. “What-”

“If he is hurting you, you need to tell me. I promise, I can he-”

A large, hairy hand clamped down on Scotts shoulder, a subdued cry of pain escaping Scotts lips. 

Logan spoke, a dark, low voice in Scotts ear. “The only fucking reason I’m not tearing your arm off is because my baby doll spent months planning this dance and it would be rude to spray blood all over her guest. So I suggest you take your hands off her, and we handle this outside like men.”

*

“LOGAN STOP!” You scream, crying against the wall as you watched Scott and Logan fight in the parking lot. Well, fight wasn’t the right word. Scott could probably have killed Logan if he was really trying, but he wasn’t. Scott was far more rational than Logan was, especially now.

The two men battled it out, leaving you all but forgotten as you sob on the floor.

Then, an explosion. It wasn’t big, nothing and no one was damaged, but enough to make Scott and Logan stumble back and pause, chests heaving in their torn and dirty formalwear. 

“For fucks sake!” Remy appeared from the purple cloud, gesturing towards you. “I leave for 5 minutes and I come back to find my friends fighting like teenage boys! And I do say boys, cher, because a man,” He reached a hand to you, helping you up. “Wouldn’t leave a lady crying on the floor!”

“Take her inside.” Scott instructs. “I’ll handle this.”

Logan’s ‘fuck off’ went unnoticed. 

“And what, exactly, are you handling?”

“I dunno, Remy, maybe something to do with the claw marks on her!”

All eyes turned to you, including Remy. “Pistache,” His voice was gentle. Did something happen?”

You melt under the pressure, slinking away behind where Remy stood. “I can explain, Mr. Summers.”

And just like that, eyes were back on Scott. “Are really out here trying to kill our brother in arms before you even ask the girl what happened?”

Scott looked embarrassed. “She won’t say anything about him! She’s clearly scared! Besides, I wasn’t trying kill him…”

“Ah, just maim him then.”

“Dolly.” Logans voice called to you. He looked so worried, so sad, his eyes wide and desperate. “Did I… hurt you?”

You nod. “But Logan… It was the nightmare.” You turn to Scott, a hint of indignation you couldn’t help for him accusation to Logan, but a softness because someone, someone cared enough to notice. “He was having a nightmare. He scratched me in his sleep when I tried to wake him.”

Once again unreadable, Scotts voice was careful. “You don’t have to defend him. You can-”

“Respectfully, Mr. Summers,” You said, letting go of Remy in favor of approaching Logan and taking his hand. “I’ve survived abuse once. I told people then, they didn’t believe me but I told them. I would do it again if Logan did that. But from Logan’s point of view, you were pulling at my clothing. So I think its best both of you sweep this under the rug as a misunderstanding.” You walk away, taking Logan with you. “Logan and I are about to miss the last dance.”

After

“You’re missing the dance.”

“Can’t wear anything that won’t show them I’m pregnant.”

It was prom, and you had organized another dance for it. Months of work, and you couldn’t even see your students dresses. Everything nice enough to chaperone would be too tight, thanks to the slight bump. You didn’t know Logan would be back so soon, but him and Kurt returned this evening. Under the blankets, you feigned sickness to Remy, asking him to attend the ball in your stead, show your students the love you wanted to give.

Your first year here was almost done, and you were sure once the pregnancy came out you’d be fired. You couldn’t expect Charles to put the baby through daycare.

The room was dark, but the glow of the TV illuminated Logan as he sat on the chair with a heavy sigh.

“How's the girl?” You ask.

“She’s gonna need a lot of rest and food and she’s on an IV but… she’ll make it. Seems happy to be here. Kurt and her got along well.”

“Good.” The Tv drowned out the quiet, Bobs Burgers again. “You know, I don’t understand half of this show sometimes. Pop Culture references I don’t get. Like, who is queen Laytifa? Who is Bruce Springsteen? I don’t know.”\

A beat. “If it makes you feel better, I don’t get a lot of the jokes either.”

You give a small chuckle. “It kinda does. At least I have an excuse.”

Logan gives you a moment before asking. “How are you been since i left.”

You try to think of an honest answer. “Morning sickness is terrible. Nightmares are worse than ever, but Remy’s helped me. I’m too fat for some of my clothes already. Not going great, honestly.”

“Dolly,” He huffs, “We need to get you into a-”

“A doctor. I know. School’s out in two weeks.” You take a deep breath and release it slowly. “I’m teaching a few summer classes and the literature club is meeting through the summer but… I’m free at noon every day. We can go, I guess.”

Logan’s heart leap, relieved to finally get you and his baby medical care once again. He knew this was difficult for you, you never went to doctors for anything this whole school year.

“Is it a naturopathic thing? Like you guys didn’t believe in science.”

You groan, covering your face with a blanket. “Why do you think we’re friends, Logan? I’m not talking to you about my life like this!”

Frustrated and tired, he tugged the blanket back down. “”I just wanna take care of you, dolly!”

“After you raped me!” Your words hung in the air, bitter on your tongue, but more spilled out. “I- I was pregnant once. I think. It was too early to test but I just… knew. And then he beat me. It was… it was so bad, Logan. I’ve never known pain like that. And then I started bleeding. I tried to tell a doctor I was being abused…” You willed yourself not to cry this time. “But he told me…”

You think back to that night, your eyes pinched shut as you recounted it to Logan. Everything hurt. You wanted a female doctor but your husband insisted on seeing a family friend. When you were alone you tried to say no, you didn’t fall that he did this too you. You tried to say that you made you miscarry!

‘Do you know what the laws are for abortion here, ma’am?’

His question stunned you.

‘Uh… illegal?’

You didn’t really know.

‘Legal in some circumstances, unfortunately. But illegal outside of medical performance, and we don’t know how far along you are.’

‘I’m only-’

‘Whose to say. My point is, how are we to know you didn’t try to skirt around the law and end your own pregnancy?’

You couldn’t take the TV anymore. Too loud, too bright. You turn it off, getting up to open the window for fresh air. Through the crack, music from the prom spilled in, Glitter in the Air. 

Logan’s arms wrapped around your waist, burying his hair in your face and you wanted to pull away. You wanted to scream. But you also wanted Logan to just be your Logan again. Maybe he was? You had missed him, even now after everything you missed him. You wanted to be with him. 

“Dance with me, Dolly. Even if it’s our last.”

So you danced with him. And it was not the last.

But Charles returned for graduation, and you needed to make a choice what to do.

WOW THANK YOU SOSOSOSOSOOSOSOSOSO much!!!!!

comments mean the ENTIRE world and the in depth thought you've all given are so wonderful!!!!!!

I really really am so delighted with the love here, and all the new followers and friends!!!

Thank you so so much everyone. I love you all!!

My tags have not been tagging??????? s be careful and make sure youre caught up!!! also if you wanna join my discord to keep up, let me know! it is a fully leftist group, pro queer, anti-zionism, leftist etc etc

@multiversed-daydreamer @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @del-ightfulling @miraclesabound @hindi-si-ikay @samsamsantos @madamerubrum @shybluebirdninja a @hornystan @rogueinmymind @accountforreading123 @yawnetu @princessanglophile @and-claudia @new-genesis1000 @teaganthemorningstar @oldloganslittleslut @zaggprincess2 @bugsinmyeyez @groundclueless @cosmolight

[tototalks]

And so here we are, the final ramble! I just wanna say a huge thank you to everyone who has been on this lil reading voyage with me and put up with my dumb memes lol. You’ve all been awesome! Special thanks go to @evilovesyou for getting me to read! 💙

(HAHAHA WTF DO I DO WITH MY LIFE NOW?! 😂)

My final King’s Rising thoughts 👑👑

- Gotta love Damianos, King of Akielos, looking down at a broken cart and being like “I’m too privileged to know how to fix this” while Lazar and Pallas fuck unsubtly in the background.

- LAMEN. CRYING. 😭😭😭 Laurent really chose Damen’s high school bully nickname.

- Charls is an actual MVP. He took one look at Laurent and understood the assignment. He’s a cousin to the King of Vere now. He is actually a part of the royal family. Ring bearer at the wedding. I don’t make the rules. And the absolute best part about it is that he never fuckin finds out 😂

- Laurent is having the absolute time of his life. He’s sat there TRASHING Nikandros and telling all these Akeilon sluts to cover their arms and accidentally reinventing the cloth trade. What a legend 😂

- The night they spend at the inn is so so significant. Laurent realising that he’s allowed to have desires and finally being asked what he wants. But also the undercurrent of being scared and confused by what turns him on because of his history. Damn I love that his traumatic experiences don’t disappear just because he has Damen now.

- I also need a whole book about their trip through Akeilos - Laurent being too pale and northern for the heat is SO real lol

- King Damianos promising to end slavery 🥲

- I need Laurent and Nikandros to become friends who tease each other ruthlessly.

- Okay so the kid is Kastor’s. I have to admit, I really do appreciate Jokaste and her sacrifices to a certain degree - not the whole degree - but a certain degree.

- Laurent giving himself over for Damen’s sake and the child. Holy shit the symbolism. Damen hearing the Regent confirm what he already kind of knew about Laurent and going apeshit, and Laurent realising he’s defending him. 💔

- “Throw up quick, we need to go.” Nikandros, I love you.

- Damen just WALKING IN to surrender. He really said all eyes on me you’re not gonna forget this.

- He stands up for Laurent against all the odds and I cannot even imagine what that felt like for Laurent.

- GUION YOU RAT ASS MOTHERFUCKER (I should have seen this coming.)

- And this is why you NEVER cross a mother about the ones she loves - the Regent is being taken down by every child he abused and that is exactly how I wanted him to fall. So satisfying.

- Paschal’s testimony and it all coming together. I ADORE how no character is forgotten or irrelevant once they die. Nicaise, Aimeric and even Govart were significant to the Regent’s downfall. The perfect evidence for the council to acquit Laurent and charge the Regent.

- I have to mention the 11 year old boy and how Laurent protects him when he sees him worry for the Regent upon his execution. He truly doesn’t understand what’s going on and the manipulation runs deep. Laurent broke that cycle of abuse.

- Kastor vs. Damianos - another fight that was always meant to happen and solidified that Kastor cannot be redeemed, even by Damen’s kindness.

- Laurent being the one to kill Kastor was only fitting. He’s fulfilled himself, Auguste, and Damen, and he used something so himself to do it. His wits. I really love that.

- And finally we have two legitimate kings, friends, and lovers. Ruling over two kingdoms that will probably end up one. An absolute perfect ending. ♥️

What an absolute ride. Shoutout C.S. Pacat for an awesome story ♥️…. I start the side stories Friday 😂 Y’all on tumblr have one more job, and that’s to fill my inbox with AO3 links 😉🥰 I have a character song playlist to curate lol

[sheenashifts1217]

Pick a Pile No.1

Welcome to my first Pick a Pile :)

This is a collective reading so it may resonate more for some than others. Take what helps you and leave what doesn’t. 💗

If you’d like a personal reading, I currently have a deal in my shop for a free five song channeled playlist with any purchase of an s/o reading. Check my pinned post for more details.😊

What Advice Will Aid Your Shifting Journey

Choose pile 1, 2, or 3

Take a breath and simply pick the one you feel most drawn to.

(Top left pile 1, top right pile 2, bottom pile 3)

Pile 1

Lyrics standing out:

“You b**** ain’t like me

Dance in the breeze

A man with the sleaze

Stop it, get another topic

I got the nerve

And I block it

You’re a brat

Cause I never repeat

Do what I say like Simon

I’m a VIP

Sorry I’m pretty and easy to hate”

Okay pile 1, I SEE YOU GUYS!!! 💅🏼 This pile is short and sweet because you all know what you need, self aware queens. You all know your power, and as you should. For those of you in this pile who really know your power, own it more, step into it, actually practice it.

It feels like you all know what you need to do and you know you can shift, you’re just being lazy. PUT THE WORK IN. But frl, it seems like you guys really just need to set some time aside to focus on shifting and your DR because you know what to do, you just feel too busy. It’s okay to take a breath. Some of you all in this pile may also be rushing yourself. Allow yourself to accept what your experiencing and just let it flow. It’s already yours, you already have all of your desires.

Overall, pile 1, you guys are baddies whether you know it or not. Step into that power, own it, and use it. Make time for yourself and slow down a little. You don’t have to experience everything at the same time, that’s why you have a life, spend it.

Confirmation: 222, 444, Aquarius, ford mustang, hot pink, purple number 4, Elmo?, Sesame Street, Disney, neon green nails

Pile 2

Lyrics standing out:

“Trying to cover up my face

Try and stay calm

Something missing

I think looks wrong

When pretty isn’t pretty enough

What do you do?

I could change up my body and change up my face

You can win the battle

Insecure

Try to ignore it

I don’t know why I even try (I see the starfish position)

Just feel like sh*** over and over again”

Hi pile 2! You guys are giving me 2020 shiftok vibes. A lot of you probably started to practice shifting around 2019/2020 and were fed a lot of misinformation and now you feel like that is stopping you, but it doesn’t have to, let that go. You are in charge of your own reality so take that misinformation and use it as a learning experience. Don’t be discouraged because it was false or didn’t work for you, that’s good because now you’re one step closer to knowing yourself and what does work for you!

You may be a person that is on social media a lot in general or just hyperaware of others lives and you’re comparing yourself to them. STOP IT. Everyone’s experience is their own. When you see someone else’s success or experience, you don’t know what went down before that. Focus on yourself and what is meant for you, will happen. Accept it and take charge of it. You may be one who relies on others success for your own motivation as well, this is your sign to rely on yourself. Connect with your higher self and trust your intuition.

Keep going pile 2! You guys have put in time and energy this far, what’s a little longer? Your efforts are not in vain. You’ve got this. Trust yourself!

Confirmation: tiktok, iPhone, 13, dodge, dodgers, football, Dallas cowboy cheerleaders, red white & blue, Olympics, gymnastics, toe nails, 12

Pile 3

Lyrics standing out:

“Light headed

For some reason I find myself lost in what you think of me

And too confused who I should be

In a big old world

We’re so alike

When I cross that line

It’s been a point of contention between myself and this body they stuck me in

Am I pretty enough to lie to you

Let me be the void you fill

I am quantum physics

My witness brings me to existence

So I can be your girlfriend boyfriend”

Hello my lovely pile 3! You all feel trapped either in your bodies or just to this reality in general. You have put shifting to your DR on a pedestal or even a part of you doesn’t want to accept that it’s real because you may not feel worthy. Remind yourself that you are constant, flowing energy.

Some of you have been so focused on “finding yourself”, that instead you have used the 3D to define who you are in the 4D. Make the two align.

Try to focus more on the “what” of shifting, instead of the “how”. Feel those connections and emotions you have in your DR. Maybe focus on one in particular that is important to you. Focus on one DR at a time. You have overwhelmed yourself with the thoughts of wanting to shift and being everywhere at once. Take your time and enjoy your CR as well. Shifting is an act and a journey, it’s real life, so make sure you’re still taking care of yourself.

In summary, you are more than your body. You are your thoughts and emotions and your actions, your love and energy you spread. Own that energy and use it for your benefit. Focus on who you are and what it is you want. Try to have a clear idea of that, then connect to it. Once you feel that connection, that’s it. Congratulations it’s now yours. Forget the 3D and just know it’s already yours.

Confirmation: red, Taylor Swift, (Taylor’s version), reputation, Niall Horan, train, Liam Payn, 2222, lock and key, hearts, stars, moon, “go piss girl”, dress to impress

[jaehyunssi]

neighbor - l.mk

synopsis: after breaking up with your boyfriend, you spent hours crying in the middle of the night. your loud and nonstop cries made mark knocks your door to find out what’s going on

neighbor!mark x reader - fluff - oneshot please read slowly for full experience + listen to any fluff playlist u have!

“Mark?”

When you heard someone knocking at your door at one in the morning, you didn’t expect that it would be your neighbor, Mark. Well, living in a cheap apartment won’t give you any guarantee that the walls would be soundproof too, you guessed. But one thing that surprise you more is how the man you almost know nothing about is standing in front of your door, looking worried.

You take a breath from your mouth, since your nose is clogged from the excessive crying. “What are you doing here?”

“I…” If he has got to be honest, he doesn’t know either. One thing that led him to find himself standing in front of you is how long and loud you cried that whole night. Probably two or three hours, which made him somehow wants to run to see you, maybe making sure you’re okay, or, well, he doesn’t really have the clearest idea too.

You tilt your head. “Yes…?”

“I really want to answer you, but your face looks-“

“Hideous?” You cut his words. “I know. Well, isn’t that clear enough for someone who just got dumped.”

Mark swallows his saliva. He doesn’t even know anything about you yet other than a girl who lives one door on his right yet the first thing he knows about something personal from you is the fact that you broke up with your boyfriend, who he also didn’t know the existence of.

“You don’t look okay, you know.” He looks at you, still. From your puffy eyes to your red nose, maybe the tears that has dried up on your cheeks, or even your lips that looks more blushed than it always be. “You could use a friend.”

The man with the white t-shirt covering his upper body somewhat surprised you with his sentence. When you first saw Mark, knowing that he would be your new neighbor after replacing the previous one who got married, you never thought he would be someone who cares so much about a stranger crying. You can’t lie that you were afraid that he’ll ask you to shut up, but this is not in any scenario of what thought you wanted to happen.

“Only if you want to see kleenex all over the couch..”

He smiles after letting out a quick chuckle. “I can get used to that quickly.”

You opened the door voluntarily after confirming his willingness to see a stranger at her worst. The man took off his sandals before finally entering the living room. Finally witnessing the scene where you spent almost three hours crying over someone who cheated on you with your own enemy. He turns his head, looking at you that by now is closing the door.

“Told you.” You raised your eyebrows.

But he shakes his head. “This is not bad at all.”

“Not even The Notebook playing on the TV?”

“Well…” He squints his eyes. “Not really a great movie to be a companion for heartbroken person.”

You laughed. “Okay, Mr. Rotten Tomatoes, let me clean up this place for you.”

Everyone needs a friend, and a friend needs someone to be the friend for. For as long as Mark knows, he loves the feeling to be needed. He loves when someone asks him to hangout with them or just to help them do something, but this is the first time Mark ever asks for someone to need him. As someone who’s actually really friendly, he never thought he would find himself asking for someone to make him their friend, until he knocked on a girl’s apartment door today.

As Mark put the hot cocoa powder on a mug he found on your kitchen, he began to think of why he had never talked to you before. He felt stupid, but at the same time, it was such a great choice for him to see your face clearly now. Somewhat a great timing, somehow grateful that you got dumped, somewhat relieved that he can finally talk to someone that he can only look at since he moved to this apartment you both lived at.

He doesn’t even know what made him scared to talk to you before. You’re not even a scary person.

“Oh my… what?” You grab the warm mug Mark hands you to. “Did you make this while I was cleaning the living room? How did you even…”

He lifts his shoulder. “Well, I have to do something.”

“Oh, come sit here.” You pat on the couch you’re sitting on. It’s a long couch you’re proud of. You remember the first time you bought it and you brag it to everyone who has ever been to your apartment. It was somewhat your best purchase. “You’re my guest, you know. A new one, even.”

“I know but I wouldn’t want your tears on this drink.”

“You’re pretty annoying to someone you just know ten minutes ago.”

He smiles. Now that you realized, he never let go of his smile. “Do you want to tell me about that break up then?”

You shook your head before sipping the hot cocoa Mark made. “This is nice.” You look at him watching you drinking the masterpiece he made. If only you knew, Mark had to look at the instructions on the can before he made it for you. “Can I know about you instead?”

“Me?” He points at himself, which you nod to. “There’s nothing much to tell about me.”

“There must be something.”

“I think it’s safe to say I’m not that exciting to know about.” He wraps his arms on the head rest on top of the couch, almost erasing the distance between the two of you. You keep your position still, as you still looking at those brown eyes of his.

“I hope no one told you that.”

The man chuckles. “Just me.”

You sighed, then you stand up, wanting to put the already finished mug of hot cocoa on the kitchen sink. But the sudden movement made you stumble, almost falling down right to the floor, before you land your other feet on the right positiont as Mark instinctively holds your back.

“God, are you really okay?” He looks at you as he helps you stand correctly. His arms are holding yours as you try to gain your full vision. “Can I..” He lifts his hand, stopping right in front of your forehead until you give him a nod to touch it. His furrowed eyebrows gave you a hint of something wrong.

“(Y/n), should we go see a doctor? You’re having a fever.”

You shake your head while you close your eyes. “No, please. I want to stay.”

“This can get worse, you know?”

“I know, I know. But, please.”

Mark let out a heavy breath. He helps you sit on your couch, putting his hand once more on you, but this time, on your neck. Knowing that it’s really a fever, his face is now not giving any friendly expression.

“Wait, okay?” He told you before leaving you alone.

You nodded.

Mark quickly run to the kitchen, looking for any clean napkin as fast as he can before he runs it through water. He grabbed a bowl of water, trying to give you a compress, at least for you to get better than your now temperature. “(Y/n)? Hang on, okay?”

You nod, again.

Mark haven’t really done this before, so he doesn’t know if he needs a hot water or a warm one, a cold water or a lukewarm one. So he made 4 bowls of water, each one with its own temperature. He found your bedroom quickly, running from here and there to put the bowls right beside your bed.

“Hey.” You can hear his voice, the way he pants, trying to catch a breath after running around your apartment. “I’m gonna carry you, okay?” He asked.

“What? No… no…” You shake your head.

He crouched down, grab your cheek for him to get a better look at you. Probably now, probably just now, he just realized how beautiful the stranger in front of him is. He doesn’t know what’s hypnotizing, your eyes, or your nose, or your lips, or, is it just you.

“Let me help you.” He told you as his eyes go back from your eyes to your lips, then back to your eyes again. “Please.”

You can’t really think much of what’s happening, but hearing him pleading made you say okay.

Now, the only thing that you know is that you’re no longer at the couch now. You can see your arms wrapping on Mark’s shoulder and neck, you can’t even believe how close your face is to his. You began to wonder if any man has ever worried about you this much. You began to think if Mark knows how nice this feels to you.

“Hey…” You called him, not really know why you forgot his name. But you’re clearly not fully conscious.

Your call made Mark stopped in the middle of his way on carrying you to your bed, just right before your bedroom door. “Hey.” He smiles. “Are you okay?”

You smile at him back. “Yeah.”

“Okay, one more step.”

You probably passed out because you don’t know what happens after that, but Mark managed to carry you safely to your bed, gently put down your body and he didn’t wake you up. He keeps compressing you, with the cool water after looking up about it on the internet. Placing the compress, sinking it on the bowl, placing it again, repeating the step for probably an hour.

The man watches you. Hearing you snore on your sleep made him relieve. At least you didn’t have any trouble on sleeping, and that’s good enough for him to know that you’re going to have a good rest tonight. He smiles, he thinks he never smiled this much on a day throughout his life. Maybe he did, but maybe, he has been giving a different smile to you today.

Mark tucks your hair behind your ear, not wanting any strand of it to get wet from the water excess from the compress cloth. He can’t find something else more appealing to look at other than your sleeping face. It’s crazy to him, that taking care of you, who’s still a stranger that turns out to be sick after crying for three hours, would be something that feels somewhat like heaven.

Maybe you’re the heaven he’s been wondering about after all these times.

“(Y/n)?”

Even though he didn’t expect it, you woke up. “Hm?” You responded, not really sure what Mark just said.

“Ask me to stay.” He pleaded.

“… What?” You try to open your eyes, only to see him sitting down on the floor as his hands holding the compress on your forehead. “Mark… what are you… why are you there?”

Mark stays quiet, his other hand is on top of your blanket, making sure that you stayed warm. “Ask me to stay with you, (y/n).”

You look at him in his eyes. “But… why?”

“I’ll stay, if you want me to.”

Mark doesn’t have the slightest clue of how or why he would ask you to ask him to stay, but he wants to. He wants to stay, even if it means he’s going to stay up all night changing the compress, checking your temperature, making sure that the heat goes down, he wants to do all that.

“I can’t say no to that face.” You laughed.

And Mark think he just fell in love.

a/n - hey! im back and i bring something fluffy (again) since mark has been on my mind whenever i play niki or lauv lol. and yeah please talk to me about how u feel abt this!!! slid thru the askbox or make some notes<3 ily all thank u so much

[vxiphoid]

✦ HOME SWEET HOME(MATES)

❨ leona as your roommate ❩ basically roommates to lovers, i am dying for this trope holy shit. kinda ooc leona (im not sure but ill put this here anyways.), some cursing, mention of marriage like once, other than that really fluffy.

2k+ words

MOVING IN, WELCOME HOME, LEONA !!

MONTH I

when he first moved in, you were expecting some imperious, egotistical, loud-mouthed prince and well, the imperious part wasn’t exactly wrong. you barely even see the dude and when you do, he’s on the couch, slumped. half of the time you forget you even have a roommate. hell, the dude barely even talks to you. the first time you actually talk to him, after a month of living with each other, is when he placed an assload of dishes in the sink after you had respectfully washed them on his week.

that’s how you found yourself practically hip to hip with a prince, elbows deep in soapy water, hands brushing occasionally. he refused to wash the dishes he had purposely dropped in the sink while you were finishing the last dish. how long was he hoarding these in his room? you didn’t know but you made a deal with him. you help him wash the dishes but he has to finish the rest of his week, simple enough since it is his responsibility. hell, when you saw the tower he placed in the kitchen you damn near tore his ear off dragging him back to his mess. what were you, his mother? maybe he just needed some house training, assuming he lived in some mansion with an unimaginable amount of maids.

leona’s chest rumbled and his ear flicked with discomfort, his lip twitching upward into a grimace. sparing him a glance, you bumped his hip with yours. “lighten up, its not that bad.”

“i think i just touched peanut butter. wet peanut butter.”

your stomach tightened and you instinctively pursed your lips to prevent the laughter bubbling in your throat. okay, maybe it was that bad. his tail flicked your leg in annoyance. he has to give you some credit, some. washing dishes wasn’t the most pleasing thing however he had to admit, you weren’t that bad of company. now he was the one stealing glances at you, emerald eyes roving across the expanse of your figure before finally settling on your face. easy on the eyes. he returned his gaze to his hands that were violently scrubbing a dish.

he even returned your gentle hip bump.

ITS LATE, TALK TO ME

MONTH II

he’s actually been in your room a few times, mostly when you’re out, so he can steal that comfy ass bed of yours. though tonight, its clearly different when the lion comes stumbling into your room and plops down on your bed. its weird, at first, but you slowly slid beside him and stared at the ceiling together. it wasn’t until you made some comment that started the late night, half-asleep talking.

“oh! that one dude,” you snap your fingers for remembrance, “ruggie, was it? does he actually eat dandelions?”

the vibes that radiated through your room is therapeutic. mood lighting, a person to talk to, and a dedicated playlist for this occasion. leona’s voice is rather calming with the slight hint of drowsiness, someone you would definitely pay to have a story read to you. he’s told you more about night raven; his acquaintances, not friends, what he’s studied. the college sounded like a lively place, unlike the boring shared apartment route. though, it is a little less boring now.

leona hums, your question quickly answered with acknowledgment. “yeah. he’s weird like that but he’s alive, thats really all i care about.” he says. his voice is soft and slightly deeper than what you’re used to hearing. it makes something in your chest constrict and tighten at the same time.

“he eats pumpkin seeds, don’t he?” you deadpan.

leona lets out a noise that sounded extremely similar to a laugh to which he, badly, attempted to cover up with a cough. you practically spring up, “are you.. laughing? did i just make you laugh? the leona kingscholar?” “nuh-uh.” the more you continued to shower him with this teasing, the harder it got to actually compose his grin, he’s already turned away from you. the look of pure mirth on his face is enough for you to forget what stress you ever had. in a weird way, you feel kind of privileged knowing that you were able to make him smile. you’d take this over any other day, perhaps you liked your new roommate.

OH LOOK, A CAFE !!

MONTH III

leona was actually contempt to take a small detour from your walk together, he really didn’t care where went. all he knows is that he needs a nap. you were actually looking for somewhere nice to sit down to help leona with his studies, the cafe down the street sounded like a decent date. study date. no one told him there were cats in there!

“how is it?” you ask smugly.

leona looks up from the table, a half glare shot at you as he sucks cupcake frosting from the pad of his thumb. he releases his thumb with a wet pop and a once over at his lips, “i like it as much as much as you like stealing my clothes.” then he pushed the cupcake into his mouth, his eyes flicking to his button up around your body.

you intertwine your fingers, resting your chin upon your hands. “it was in my dirty clothes basket, i washed it, therefore it is mine.” you quip back playfully, taking a sip out of your latte.

“it literally has my name sewn onto the back.” he counters.

“yeah, with the smoothest fucking silk i’ve ever felt!” he shrugged as to say no big deal but you knew he secretly liked it from the way he kept eyeing it, just not enough to admit vocally. you’re the only person he could tolerate wearing his clothes, so sue him for not being able to wear anything else in your house for some days until they got clean. “think about it; if you marry me, we’d share the same last name, eh? eeeh?” you wiggle your eyebrows at him.

he huffs, a playful smile gracing his features. “oh, you would just love that, wouldn’t you? have a little field day?” he raises an eyebrow as he takes another bite of cake, his voice full of mock amusement.

a brown cat hopped onto the table, your little corner now surrounded by the cute animals. almost all of them taking complete interest in your dear prince. rubbing their warm bodies against him as if they had been waiting their whole life for him to show up. one by one, they hop onto him, sniffing at his neck as if he were their food and he sat stiffly. you on the other hand indulged your one kitten with satisfying scratches under its chin, staring in pure adoration as a cat rubbed its face against leona’s cheek. you had to take a few pictures, it was a must have in your camera roll.

“papa cat with his litter of kittens.” you cooed softly as you snap another picture.

leona’s ear flicked in irritation, “cheka is enough.”

ITS SPA DAY !

MONTH IV

leona was already suspicious when you willingly lead him to your room, even more when you pat your lap. what is he, some cat? still laid down though, a win is a win. its crazy how comfortable he’s gotten with you. so comfortable, he’s letting you card your heavenly hands through his thick mane to pin it back for whatever substance you’re going to rub onto his face.

leona’s right eye spontaneously closed as you neared his face with a dropper, the glass tube smeared its cool continents on his cheek. “what’s this one? part ninety-nine of glass skin treatment?”

lord knows he doesn’t need it, he already has glass skin, it was just an excuse to poke n prod his squishy cheeks. you didn’t bother do answer, instead rolling your eyes and rubbing the serum onto his skin. its been what, twenty minutes? leona hasn’t fallen asleep, mostly because he’s staring at you. the dim lighting made your skin glow, made you glow. in the dark, you were a star that would have burned down by now if not for a miracle or magic spell, was he that spell? like an angel or an extraterrestrial. your stare was hypnotic. your stare made him forget everything around him, your gaze made him lose his footing. he felt himself moving forward and backward at the same time, the air between you became charged.

“you have a weird taste in roommates, herbivore.”

your hands pause at the curve of his neck, then move up to run through his thick hair. your touch made his skin flush, his breath hitch at a low frequency. you grin, “mm, yeah? is that right?”

his eyelids flutter at the feel of your thumbs rubbing over his temples, “you’re doing the thing again.” he breathes out. you chuckle, “the thing? the temple rubbing thing?” “your little thing, the smile and that voice thing.”

“ohh…” you roll your tongue against the roof of your mouth before smiling wider, “should i stop?”

he doesn’t respond right away, the moment stretches into minutes. he’s fading in and out of dreamland and wanting to stay awake for more of your touch. “jus’ a bit longer.”

RAINY DAY IN, MOVIE NIGHT ?

MONTH V

you two actually had plans to go to out but when opened the door for you just for it to be absolutely pouring outside, he settled for a movie. you got all the blankets while leona got all the snacks. what movie you both were watching? he doesn’t know, you make a phenomenal pillow though.

the tv was basically just murmuring, your vision unfocused as your hand absently played with leona’s hair. you knew that once he lied down, he was going to fall asleep. his whole weight flush against your body and cheek smooched into your chest, his tail swishing slowly showing he was awake in some way. you shift your head to look at him, catching a whiff of sweetness from his hair. some sadness settled in the pit of your gut. leona wasn’t always going to be here, he had to return to his studies and his royalty business. you couldn’t keep him even if you tried.

“did you fall asleep or are you upset, herbivore?”

his voice startled you out of your revere, you hummed in response, his words not quite processing correctly.

“your heartbeat slowed and you stopped playing with my hair.” he said as if it was the most obvious thing ever. you hadn’t even noticed you stopped stroking his head. you turn his head to hold his face in your hands, his eyes droopy from sleep. those eyes doing the unimaginable to your heartstrings. “you gotta to go back, don’t you?”

leona gives you a slow blink, his hand resting over yours. “‘course i do.” he yawns.

it was a really selfish thought, wanting to keep him forever. if you had the chance you would carry him in your pocket at all times.

“here,” leona removes his hand from yours, taking something from his pocket and holding it up for you to see. its a ring, its silver color catching the light from the tv. on his ring finger was a slightly bigger one, matching pairs. “its a promise ring.” he takes your hand from his face to slide it onto you but you pull your hand away. he’s confused at your reaction, looking at you like you’ve grown an extra head. your eyes are glossed over, tears forming. something was screaming that it was too early, that he was moving too fast. then your lips lifted into a grin, you laugh but they come out shaky. “its a promise ring, you gotta make a promise, leo.”

“you’re so sappy.” he frowns albeit the blanket of relief blanketing over his heart. he takes your hand once more, securely this time. “i promise to come back.” he places a kiss to the pad of your ring finger before sliding the silver band onto it, returning your hand to his cheek and pressing a firmer kiss to your palm. you watch the silver bleed into a rose color, a soft vibration in your finger when leona’s changed as well. you smile widely, tears streaming down your face. emotions flew and popped like fireworks throughout your body, uncontainable, freed. you laugh as he leans his forehead onto yours, wiping your tears with his thumb and letting out a few purrs of content.

“you’re really happy, huh? so happy you’re shedding tears for me?” “mmhmm, shut up. lemme enjoy this, enjoy you. please?” “as you wish.”

LAST, BUT NOT FINAL, GOODBYES

MONTH IV

welp, its time to say goodbye. you had your ups and— well, mostly ups, you never fought with leona. by the time you had helped leona pack his stuff and belongings, it was past noon. he looked the least bit of interested and you were doing most of the moving. in his own way of saying he doesn’t want to leave, he lazes on the couch and sometimes tugs you down with him.

“you’re sure you have your toothbrush, your expensive hair products, everything?”

leona let out a pained groan from the couch, his ring finger buzzing. “herbivore, you’re stressing.” your eyes flicked to the band on his finger, the color fading to a wine red.

he held his arm out to you, to which you inhaled, held it, then let it out through your mouth when you were under the warmth of his arm. “i know… i just want to make sure you don’t forget anything, leo.” your voice was muffled as you breathed into his chest.

“if i forget anything important, id buy a new whatever it is. you’d want it more though, for when you’re missing your better other half.” leona nudged his chin into your head and you visibly relaxed against him. he let himself sink into the softness of your body, wrapping his arms around you, his fingers trailing up and down your back in a soothing pattern. a thrum shooting through both of your fingers signaling a color change in the rings.

…then the sound of buzzing from the coffee table.

leona curses, apologizing as he reached to get it. taking a glance at the screen he sighs, patting your hip. “that’s my ride.”

he had already shipped off his heavy luggage to night raven so the only thing left to do was wish him off. its not the last goodbye, you’d see him again. only through a screen and through texts before he has his next break and can see you again. you stood on your front porch, shifting your weight from leg to leg while you worried your lip. he eyes you, slowly opening his arms just for you to pounce on him. enclosing your limbs around his body as tightly as you could, your face pressed into his neck, your hands gripping the fabric of his jacket. he chuckles, giving you a reassuring squeeze. “you better come back.” you mutter.

leona sets you down, wiping any incoming tears from your eyes. “i promised, didn’t i?”

your lips curl up in a watery smile. he pulls away from you, making his way to the car waiting in the parking lot. you had this stupid little grin on your face when you noticed the happy whip in his tail from the interaction. halfway to his ride, leona stops, turning on his heel and sprinting back to you, yelling that he had forgotten something. you were already beginning to scold him but was quickly silenced by his lips. he kisses you sweetly and with enough passion to rival that of the sun, his hand gently cupping your cheek, thumb running across the skin there. you lean forward, melting into the kiss, and the two of you finally separate after what felt like an eternity. his eyes are glistening, a slight sheen over them betraying his emotional state, but you had no qualms about kissing him, even after the short months. it still makes you dizzy when you see the love radiating from his eyes.

“you got a partner in six months? are you fucking kidding me?!”

you peek over leona’s shoulder, a boy with short fluffy hair and blue eyes, big hyena ears from his messy hair yelling from the car window. just like leona described him, ruggie. your prince kisses under your eye, his demeanor quickly changing as he faced ruggie. “you have no game, that’s all. don’t blame me for being simply better.” leona states calmly.

only when the car pulled off did you notice your ring beaming gold, magic swirling beneath the thick material.

back to twst masterlist

[leroiestmortvivelareine]

My aftg song list, if you're feeling brave

or if you want to read my interpretations, for which slightly less bravery is required

Neil

'Come on mess me up' - Cub Sport

A major chapter in the singer's coming out story (leading to eventually marrying his bandmate!) - it's about wanting something (success) so badly that you're not merely willing to sacrifice yourself for it, you’re actively rushing onto the blade…

'Nothingman' - Pearl Jam

For the lonely Millport nights.

'Just one fix' - Ministry

Never trust a junkie...

Yes I know Neil doesn’t like to listen to loud music, but it’s not always about what Neil likes.

'Furr' - Blitzen Trapper

"... and now my fur has turned to skin... and I've been quickly ushered in... to a world I must confess I do not know... "

Neil our wild boy.

Andrew

'I’ll still destroy you' - The National

Because he would.

'I let love in' - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Because he did.

'Bottom' - Tool feat. Henry Rollins

Because.

Sometimes I wonder if the M_y_ard name, the small size and the bad childhood is coincidence.

I already gave him this one.

Wymack

'How to make gravy' - Paul Kelly

*cries into keyboard*

Kevin

'Holy grail' - Hunters and Collectors

I hope you find your grail, dear Galahad, whatever the hell you think it is.

Riko

'Cardigan' [Taylor Swift cover] - Something for Kate

Riko to Kevin, for the Peter and Wendy line.

'Farewell, Mona Lisa' - the Dillinger Escape Plan

If it's in 4/4 time, it isn't real anger.

The maelstrom that is '43% burnt' probably sounds more like the inside of Riko's head, but these lyrics are a closer fit and there's no way you'll last more than 15 seconds of the audio. Also Riko is unworthy of Pennie's genius so he gets relegated to their third best drummer.

In terms of what he'd actually listen to, Riko is 100% streaming Jay-Z with a hoodie pulled over his head, tapping his hands and trying to be gangsta, a would-be boxer perpetually hearing his own walk-out theme song.

Except he he's got no rhythm so he looks exactly like Kendall Roy. (Don’t lie to me Moriyama. I’ve seen you do this.)

Jean

'Bloom' - The Paper Kites

I think Jean feels closest to people when they are physically close and not speaking... he needs those pools of quiet like a dying man needs an oasis. Also it's just a really pretty song. (See, I don't only like earshredding mathcore.)

'Heart out first' - Kyle Lionhart

To Kevin I guess.

'Freedom' by Rage Against The Machine

I maintain my conviction that Jean is a warrior, but what kind of a warrior? Does he take after his misplaced partner enough to be a rebel?

Jeremy

'The outsider' - A Perfect Circle

This song is about a loving but clueless jock trying to help his mentally ill brother by telling him to 'walk it off'.

Dedicated to my first time reading tsc, when I got a bit of a toxic positivity vibe from Jeremy - obviously not in the same way as this song, but in the sense of just being on a whole other planet compared to what Jean was experiencing and not understanding that it doesn't always help to be pushy. The second reading, not so much, his responses felt more understandable.

'Groceries' - Mallrat

Sorry about the cuteness overload. From Jere to Jean with added cuteness on top.

'Pick you up' - Powderfinger

In the hope Jeremy is legendary enough to live up to this legendary song.

Aaron

'Comfortably numb' (live version) - Pink Floyd

Duh.

Renee

'Mace spray' - The Jezabels

Pretty much anything by the jezzies really. Girl power x queer x pure beauty.

Zane

'Jesus Christ pose' - Soundgarden

Make of it what you will. Even I don't know what I mean. I just know this feels right.

If you're interested and maybe want to find new stuff this is my general playlist of faves (not that i use spotify tbh)

[boizandgurlzinthehouse]

𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐁*𝐓𝐂𝐇 ; 𝐆𝐔𝐍-𝐖𝐎𝐎 𝐗 𝐅𝐄𝐌!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈𝐕. 𝐍𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐄 '𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐌𝐘 𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑.

summary: sometimes it's hard to deal with how fast the night changes... and how memories are used and coming back again and again.

wordcount: 5.096k (i got carried away, but it felt right to write this much uwu)

tw: swearing, angst (bad memories), crying, anxiety (attack?), badly written anxiety rambling, blood, otherwise than that it's fluff and comfort

author's note: nothing, just enjoy it girlies &lt;3

part 1 part 2 part 3 playlist!!

on the way to the bookstore, the trio was silent. woo-jin sat beside gun-woo, y/n sat opposite them. whenever the girl looked at one of them, they looked away. fiddling with her fingers, she also looked out the bus’ window. were they really bad for intervening when yang jae-myeong and his gang beat that man? yeah, because they fucked up the plan. but at the same time… y/n didn’t feel actual guilt. everytime she got into danger when she was little, her father didn’t beat her and said that if she ever gets into trouble like that, he’ll beat her. he always said that it’s alright if someone’s alive. that’s what's important. they can think about the other problems later. 

tonight, they saved a man’s life. sure, the plan was blown, but they can always make new ones. 

otherwise, should they let the homeless man die? maybe hyeon-ju is good at stalking and good with the stuff she did until now, but she never got into this situation. 

getting off of the bus, they only looked at each other. before they could go down to the bookstore, y/n stopped them, taking off the mask. 

“listen, guys… maybe it wasn’t a good idea to do this. and since the two of you are in need of money, and i’m the new one, if hyeon-ju wants to kick you two out, i’m gonna say that this was my idea.”

“you can’t do this. this is your purpose just the same as ours!” woo-jin protested. y/n shrugged her shoulders. 

“i will find another way. it was too good to be true anyways. your jobs are more important.” 

“we’ll figure it out, don’t worry.” gun-woo replied, as they get in. 

before they stepped in on the door, y/n muttered. 

“let things be as they should be.” 

hyeon-ju was fuming, as she thought. she tried not to become pissed too fast, but she didn’t know what the other girl’s first words would be. as she sat on the couch, she didn’t even let them get into place. 

“don’t sit. this will be quick.” she said as woo-jin tried to pull out the chair. y/n gulped. “did you fight him?” 

“it was unavoidable.” woo-jin replied. 

“we can’t work together. what? isn’t it obvious?” she continued, when the three looked at each other. 

“we gave you a sincere apology.” 

“i don’t need an apology!” hyeon-ju snapped. 

“but that man needed an ambulance.” said y/n, leaning on one of the shelves. hyeon-ju looked at her, then at the boys again. she stood up. 

“yang jae-myeong saw your faces, didn’t he? my plan was to tail him and gather evidence quietly. now, that he knows someone is following his tail, he’ll lie low. therefore, my plan is ruined!” 

“we wore caps and masks, he couldn't have seen our faces.” 

“right, since you covered your face, there’s no way he’d recognize you.” hyeon-ju’s tone was sneaking higher and higher with malice. “since this shitty hair was covered, he wouldn't recognize you!” hyeon-ju touched woo-jin’s hair. okay, his hair was a little unruly, but it fitted him well. “and y/n’s unusual hair! fuck, i’d recognize you from a mile away!” 

y/n scratched her eyebrows, trying to smooth the wrinkles on her forehead. 

“what are you doing? get out.” 

hearing these words, she pushed herself away from the wood. “listen, hyeon-ju, it was my idea. you can kick me out, but not them.” 

“oh, so you’re protecting them now? or what the fuck?” 

“i’m saying… that when the gang was beating that guy, it was my idea that we should protect him. i was the one who said that we would go there, and i was the one who kicked out the knife from yang jae-myeong’s hand.” she pursued, as she walked in front of the girl. her expressions held no anger, no hatred. it just held simplicity. 

“and what should i do with this information?” hyeon-ju growled. 

“seriously, i don’t know. do what you want, i don’t want to tell you, because you probably wouldn’t listen to me. but you also can’t forget that this was our first mission. at every mission, mistakes are almost common. we can always make other plans. not to mention that gun-woo, woo-jin and i never did shit like this, and you weren’t there, so you can’t judge the situation just because you think we are losers.” 

there was silence for a couple of seconds. y/n tried to hope that she would think about what she said, but the response was simply cruel. 

“the loss of your father, or your hope for revenge did this with you to say this?” 

the air in her throat stopped. her pupils dilated, and felt like those words got her heart into a fist. licking her lips, she didn’t know what to say. this was her biggest secret, and this girl just bragged about it like it was some simple topic like the weather. she didn’t want to look at woo-jin, especially not gun-woo, and felt like the ceiling of the bookstore’s gonna fall on her. she tried not to breath heavily, tried not to get tears into her eyes. and she didn’t want anyone to know about this. hell, nobody even knows this except for sir choi and his father’s friends. breathing in, trying to calm herself, she didn’t want to be here anymore. she didn’t want to be in a place where the biggest loss of her life was turned against her. smiling sadly and in the way disgraced people did it, she bit her lip, then let it go. 

“you know what, hyeon-ju? you have no right to dig into my past, under any circumstances. i tried to be kind and helpful to you, but i’m not gonna mince words, so it’s good for you if you know that after this, you deserve everything if your plan doesn’t work out.” 

when she was done, she threw onto the couch the hat that was given to her. storming out, gun-woo tried to stop her, but she softly pulled his hand away. 

y/n walked out hurriedly, wiping the tears away, not giving them the chance to run out. how could she do this? how could she use this against her? her memories were coming back to her. blood. fear. slicing sounds through meat. through organs. through the heart. through the mattress she lied under, the edge of the sword stopped right above her chest. gathering wetness of the blood, dark red pools crossing each other, becoming one big puddle. some of the blood dropping on her nose, her face, her eyelids. 

“no… no, no, no, no…” she whispered, holding her face in the hope that there won’t be more and more new ones. she had no right to do this. she had no right. she was cruel, she was evil, she wanted to get under her skin and she let her! but how could she not? 

[ 𝐆𝐔𝐍-𝐖𝐎𝐎'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ]

after telling hyeon-ju what he wanted to say, he and woo-jin stepped out of the door. he worried about his job, the hundred million won loan that he took, and how he’s gonna pay it back, his mother, and the whole smile capital thing. he was tired and hungry, and y/n was there too beside his concerns. her words echoed in his head. 

“i’ll find some other place. don’t worry too much.” woo-jin’s words were loud in the silent hallway. 

“i’m sorry… i couldn’t hold back.” he said as woo-jin hugged him with one arm. 

“you held back better than i did. and how y/n did. nevertheless, maybe i'd have lashed out too if hyeon-ju pointed out the vulnerable parts of my life.” 

“i don’t know why she had to do this. y/n even assumed that she was the one who ruined the plan. she lied for us…”

“i don’t know man, i don’t understand girls. but y/n were harsh too. even if you can save our job, hyeon-ju is sure as hell won’t call y/n back.” 

“you think?” gun-woo asked. woo-jin tiredly sighed. 

“i guess so. are you hungry? let’s go to this hangover soup place i know. oh, wait a second” he took of his arm from gun-woo’s shoulder. “, it’s probably closed because of covid. it’s past ten.” 

gun-woo’s stomach churned. it hurt damn much. it was afternoon when they ate, but so much has happened since then. 

“that just made me more hungry.” he said, bending a little bit to ease the ache in his tummy. 

“i forgot.” 

“my stomach hurts,” he told woo-jin. 

“hey, it’s not my fault they’re closed because of covid.”

“but it’s your fault for bringing it up.” 

“you couldn’t hold yourself back with hyeon-ju just now!”

“you said that i did a good job.” gun-woo disagreed. 

“i said that because you were moping like a loser!” 

“i wasn't moping like a loser!” 

woo-jin’s expression began to crease. 

“i wasn’t moping like a loser”, he babbled. clearly wanted to imitate gun-woo. 

“what are you doing now?” 

i’m imitating you, loser.” woo-jin replied as he continued to babble. “man, i’m hungry. my stomach hurts.” it hurt gun-woo more than hunger. 

“wow… you’re so ugly.” 

“how could you joke like that?” 

“what? i wasn’t joking. i’m being serious.” 

before woo-jin could argue longer, they heard soft sniffles. 

“did you hear that too?” gun-woo asked. woo-jin nodded, as they tried to look into the direction of the noise. it was dark, and they saw nobody. “what if it’s y/n?” 

“let’s get a look.” woo-jin muttered, as they began to follow the sound. it was truly y/n, sitting on a bench, her shoulders shaking, hugging herself. every cry was louder than the other. gun-woo looked at woo-jin, and without a word, they understood each other. stepping slowly closer to her, when gun-woo was at the other end of the bench, he softly asked. 

“is everything okay, y/n?” 

“idiot, she just cries out her soul!” woo-jin scolded him, and y/n slowly shook her head. she seemed so vulnerable. nothing like he know before this. she wasn’t the girl who stood proudly, she wasn’t the cool bartender, she wasn’t the girl who wanted to punch woo-jin the first time they met. she was little and hurt. it was hard to miss that her whole body was quivering, her hands before her face. sitting beside her, he tried to touch her, but didn’t know where to do it. hands? she would be too scared. back? it’s pressed to the back of the bench. it was easier to hug her body. gun-woo gulped, and at a slow pace, he reached his arm around her, pulling her into his embrace. without a word, y/n leaned into his chest, laying her hands on his chest beside her face, trying to wipe her tears. she was warm, and her hair softly brushed to gun-woo’s chin. her soft, but fast breaths fanned against his jacket. 

“i’m… i’m so sorry, i’m sorry… i fucked up, i’m the cause of your failure… i, i didn’t want that, i’m so sorry, i didn’t want to mess up…” she hyperventilated, sometimes pressing her lips together to suppress the whines that escaped her mouth. 

“it’s okay, y/n. it’s okay. don’t worry.” 

“no, it’s not… it’s not okay… i’m sorry i got angry, i’m sorry for what i said and what i did… i…” y/n’s voice got hoarse, she was repeating the same sentences again. “...i just got scared that she knows about it, i was scared that she’s gonna use it against me… i just felt so horrible, i’m so sorry…” 

gun-woo peered at woo-jin. what to do now? 

“you don’t have to be sorry about anything. you said those things because… you felt like you had to say them. i don’t know what happened to you, but me and woo-jin gonna help you. right, woo-jin?” 

“yes, absolutely.” woo-jin seemed to be a little bit… scared? for a couple of minutes, they sat in silence. y/n’s fast breaths began to slow down, and her body wasn’t trembling that hard now.

“i’m sorry for everything i said… you just wanted to help.”

“y/n, don’t worry about this. really. we’re gonna figure out something. i am sure about it, and i know that you are too.”

the girl slowly breathed in, looking up at him. some tears were dried on her face, the mascara was running low to her lips; even down to her neck. her lips were chapped from the bites, some locks of her hair were sticking to her face. wiping her eyes to see clear, she nodded. 

“thank you, gun-woo. i’m sorry but i have to go now… work doesn’t make an exception for girls who chase criminals at night.” 

when she stood up, gun-woo knew that he didn’t want her to go home alone. sure she was a good fighter, but in this state, even a hit on the head could knock her out. not to say that they were far away from yeongsan. 

“can we escort you home? it’s dangerous to go alone, and you sure are hungry.” 

y/n nodded, and when she held gun-woo’s hand to pull him up, the boy’s stomach grumbled. 

“are you two hungry? we can go to mine, i have some instant noodles.” 

“no, we don’t… we wanted to eat somewhere anyway.”

looking at her phone, y/n huffed. 

“everything’s closed, gun-woo. it’s past ten.” 

“that’s what i was telling him too!” woo-jin said, y/n let out a little giggle. 

“let’s go to mine. come on, i’m hungry, you’re hungry, we’re all hungry.” 

[ 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐏 ]

arriving to y/n’s rent, it was peaceful. she lived on the eighth floor, the highest level of the row house. it had a little terrace, only to place some plants on the floor and to smoke a cigarette while standing. the living room was smaller than in gun-woo’s apartment, there was only two doors, one for the restroom, one for the bedroom. the walls were filled with photos and plants, and some weird clocks. 

“your house is very cool, y/n!” woo-jin said as y/n locked the door. 

“thanks. it was a pain in the ass to convince my landlord to have some plants here. sit down, watch some tv while i make the food, okay? make yourself comfortable!” she replied as she took off her shoes, going to the kitchen. picking out leftover kimchi from the fridge, she searched for the ramen in the lower drawer on the left. 

“can i help?” gun-woo asked from aside, while y/n picked out four packs of noodles. 

“only if you want. do you prefer not spicy, medium spicy or very spicy?” she asked, as she showed them the flavors. 

“it doesn’t matter. but i like medium spicy most.” he said, making y/n smile. 

“then medium spicy it is. can you give me the wooden spoon? it’s on the right side, above the bigger drawers.” 

“sure,” gun-woo said as he placed it on the counter. 

“do you want anything? go back and watch tv! it will be ready in minutes.” y/n said to him. gun-woo leaned to the counter. 

“i just want to help you. it’s you, inviting us dinner after all.”

“it’s nothing. i don’t have guests that often. it’s good to have someone here, to fill up the rooms with life. salt, please, above you.” 

“i don’t have many friends either. i mean, i don’t know how many friends you have… but i’m not a wordsmith.”

“you don’t have to talk much to have friends. friendships aren’t about talking. it’s about trust and the peaceful understanding of each other. it doesn’t have to be loud. my love for my parents wasn't loud either.” the girl replied as she began to stir the noodles. 

just as holding her hand, gun-woo found comfort in her words. only if she knew that he thinks the same way. maybe that’s why he wasn’t good with his ex-girlfriend. she always wanted loud confessions and high volume dates and occasions, and he couldn’t give it to her. for a long time, he thought that he was wrong for not stepping out from his shell. he already felt these things that y/n said, but never could form it into words so good like her. 

“you are too good with words.” he said, getting y/n knitted eyebrows. 

“me? how so?” 

“you don’t talk too much, but you always say something that has a meaning. of course i like woo-jin, he talks a lot and makes good jokes. i feel like he can speak on my behalf too, and this makes things easier.” 

“did you get to know him in the marine?” 

“no, after a championship. he lost against me, and i invited him to eat. then it turned out that we both served in the marine. it was before my mother assumed the loan.”

“i get it.” y/n said, then tilting her head, she leaned to the counter. “you don’t have to answer this question, but what is that band-aid on your face?” 

“oh, this?” gun-woo asked, and maybe, he blushed a little bit. “it’s… an injury that the boss of the smile capital gave me.” he began to uncover the scar. y/n’s lips tightened. 

“oh my sweet jesus… how did he do this?” she muttered as she looked at it.  

“at one night, i was talking to my mother on the phone. i wanted to help her close the coffee shop she owns, but when she called me, her voice was frightened and scared. she asked me where i am, and that some strange men were standing outside. when she tried to say something, the glass of the coffee shop was broken with a brick, and she began to scream. she was so scared… i’ve never seen her so scared. i ran to her, and fought the guys who destroyed the place. then… that man came, and another… he was stronger than anybody else i ever knew. he was like a mountain, stronger, taller. he beat me up real bad. and then, the president of smile capital crouched over me, and… well, he did this to my face. he has one, too.”

“one what?” 

“a scar like this.” 

“oh, yeah, i get it… it’s horrible. it’s so fucked up they beat up little men to get stronger. they should make a pass with the same weighted groups as them.” y/n whispered. “does it hurt?” she looked from closer, reaching out her fingers to imagine how it could feel under her touch. gun-woo gulped and shook his head. 

“no. only a little, when i touch it.” y/n pulled back her hand. the boiled water behind them almost ran out from the pot, making y/n jump back, turning around. “oh, shit, the noodles! okay, they’re not so spongy… woo-jin, come! dinner is ready!” 

after setting the table, during dinner, the trio barely talked to each other, mostly complimenting the food y/n made. she told them again and again that it’s just instant food, but the guys ate like they haven't been eating for three days. boys, y/n thought as she saw gun-woo pushing another big bite into his mouth. his cheeks puffed out as he chewed the noodle. y/n smiled, and got back to eating. after finishing the food, they helped to clean the table and packed the dirty bowls into the washing machine. 

gun-woo stepped to the door to put on his shoes. he looked on the clock, it was almost midnight. oh no… the buses weren’t working anymore today, the earliest time is three a.m. how could he ask y/n to sleep here? and woo-jin? they only agreed about dinner, not sleeping here! 

“oh, shit! look at the time!” thanks, woo-jin, he thought as he stepped beside him. “i live over the bridge, it’s at least an hour to get home…”

“woo-jin, we can’t take advantage of y/n’s hospitality. you’ll survive the little walk.” 

“but i’m soooo tired…” he yawned, and this time, he was right. gun-woo also had to suppress a yawn several times as he ate. 

“yeah, me too… but it’s not that we agreed on.” he whispered, as he continued to pick up his other shoe. when he wanted to open the door, y/n appeared beside the hallway wall. 

“what are you doing?” she asked, and she yawned too. 

“going home…?” gun-woo said, looking and woo-jin. y/n shook her head. 

“but the buses aren’t working today anymore… shit, it’s almost midnight?” she almost repeated woo-jin’s words. 

“yeah… but we’re gonna walk a little bit.” 

“if you walk home, you’re not gonna get home even at two in the morning.” y/n told them, scratching her neck. “i don’t want to tell you what to do, but… if you're just the same as me, then sleep here. i won’t mind.” 

woo-jin looked at gun-woo, smiling a little bit. 

“okay, then… we’re sleeping here, if you really, really don’t mind.” 

y/n shook her head. 

“i’ll get you two towels. i’m showering first!” 

getting out from his shoes again, gun-woo looked at woo-jin. 

“the couch is mine.” the other stated, making gun-woo protest immediately. 

“no, no! we’re both sleeping on the couch!” woo-jin sighed, and made gun-woo sit down on the couch. he looked like he’s gonna give a speech to him, like a proud father. 

“listen, gun-woo… i think you haven’t been in situations like these. when you get to know a girl, you gon dates with her, doing cute things, speaking about things she likes, or you just listen to her. because girls like to brag about anything! they love to hear their own voice.” 

“but y/n doesn’t brag. and she’s not into me, and… i don’t want to take advantage of her. she does it because she has a good heart. she could easily kick us out to the streets.” 

“no, no, no! you don’t get what i talk about! y/n wants us… wants you to stay because she likes you!” 

“okay, but that doesn’t mean that we gotta do anything. she’s also vulnerable, don’t you remember how she cried? i don’t want to disturb her feelings with this.”

“i didn’t say that you have to have sex with her! i just said, that… maybe if you said some reassuring words to her… and give her comfort… she’d feel that you are the one for him.” 

“i did this too earlier, without any secret motive.” gun-woo replied. he was confused, does anyone have to do this in the favor of getting something? gross. woo-jin rolled his eyes. 

“damn, you are too good with people. just don’t be a nice guy, but you have an awesome face, so it won’t be a problem. then just do the same things you did before, and everything will be fine. not to mention that it was so sloppy when you held hands, like in some movie!” 

“i don’t know why i did it! but i surely wouldn't hold your hand, if you sleep calmer with this information.” gun-woo replied. 

“okay, i’m relieved. but still, if things are going the right way… y/n sure has protection. and don’t do it too loud!” woo-jin laughed as he slapped gun-woo’s shoulder. 

“did i tell you that you are sloppy and cheeky sometimes? or do you already know it?” he asked with a bored face. 

“it hurt a little bit. but you were savage now! i liked it. keep it up! fighting!” 

yeah, fighting. fighting for not getting a heart attack from sleeping near to y/n. 

[ 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐏 ]

after showering, gun-woo wore the same clothes he wore today. he waited for y/n to turn up, and she did, with a headband on his hair. she jumped a little bit when she noticed him. 

“oh, gun-woo, you almost scared me! what’s up?” she asked as she hung her towel, picking out a tube from the top of her drawer. sitting to the mirror, she began to cream her face. 

“woo-jin… said that he doesn’t like to sleep with somebody else beside him. so… if you could give me some blankets, then i’d sleep on the floor in the living room.” 

y/n looked at him, half of her was white. gun-woo imagined that what if that’s what he could see every night… if they lived together. he slapped himself in his mind, don’t do this now! she’s just a good friend. and she’s still vulnerable. 

“are you crazy?” 

“no… i’m not. why?” 

“sleeping on the floor will give you sore muscles. uhm, i don’t know… maybe we could sleep together in my bed?” she offered. gun-woo hoped that his face wasn’t as red as a tomato. 

“no, i… i just sleep on the floor… don’t worry, you are already so kind for letting us sleep here.” 

“gun-woo, i don’t want to press you into anything, but after this day, i think we all deserve to sleep somewhere comfy. and look, my bed is big enough!” she said as she pointed to the bed. gun-woo looked around the room; there were pictures on the wall as in the hallway and the living room, and some personal stuff like her brush, some make-up stuff or a couple of little mirrors stood on the drawer. her bed was really big, it almost covered the rear side of the room, with a window on the side. it was lovely. 

“okay, if that’s really alright with you… but wake me up anytime at night if you don’t want me to sleep here.” 

y/n smiled and nodded. 

“okay.” 

getting into bed, gun-woo offered to sleep on the inner side, just in case if y/n wanted to get some water or anything else. as they laid down, y/n’s face was in front of him. his heart was hammering in his chest. he didn’t even remember when he was this close to somebody, and y/n was beautiful. simply beautiful, without makeup too. her face was calm, and she was softly breathing. in the dark, he only could make out the lines of her expressions. 

“y/n?” 

“yeah?” 

“i’m sorry for what hyeon-ju said today. and i hope that you are okay now.” 

“don’t worry, i’m fine. sometimes memories come back, but i’m kinda used to it. it was good when you hugged me. it calmed me down much earlier. thank you.” 

“you don’t need to thank me.” 

“but i have to. i’m glad that i’ve met you and woo-jin. it’s the best thing that has happened to me in a long time.” 

“seriously? you seemed so cool when we first saw you. like you didn’t need anybody to live your life.” 

“just because i don’t express emotions… well, i think i needed some new things. but that’s my problem, sometimes i don’t even know what i feel. it’s easier to feel nothing than to be overwhelmed by ignorance. but wait, what did you think about me when we first met?” 

“why do you ask that?” 

“i don’t know. it’s interesting to me what people think about me first.” 

“okay… well, you seemed to be the coolest girl i’ve ever known. you seemed powerful, and though. somebody who i wanted to know but if i didn’t have the motivation or the cause, i’ve never dared to accost. and you seemed mysterious. i don’t know why, but when you talked about the things you live through everyday, i knew that you know more than me or woo-jin, or anybody else in our generation about life. you see people wither, you see their pain… and you continue to work there. i know you surely could get another job if you wanted, but… i think you need this pain.” 

“for what?”

“to suppress another one. i’m sorry, i didn’t want to bring it up again. it’s just a guess.” 

“that’s fine, i won’t cry anymore tonight. it was just weird for me, to hear these things from a mere stranger.” 

“i know. it would be hard for anyone. and… what was i like when you first saw me?” 

“oh, so you’re curious now… i like this. well, well… where to begin… i thought you were loyal and brave. braver than anyone. and the way you talked or bent in front of me showed me that you had respect for everyone. and a good heart. the way you talked, it was calm, but on the other side, you seemed digressive and someone who was riddled with desire to act. to do something, to solve problems. you have a kind of fire in your heart, and that fire burns through everything. that makes you unstoppable. and i see these attributes in you now too.” 

gun-woo smiled with full lips, he hoped that y/n smiled too. the compliments shoot to his heart, overflowing it with something that was beyond happiness or wholeness. he heard how she delicately yawned, her soft breath fanning his neck. was she that close to him? he didn’t mind it anyway. he felt happy, happier than ever in the last few weeks and days. and thinking about the whole father-thing, maybe it was bizarre, however, they each lost their father… but they gained a new person in their lives. someone who could fill the gaping holes in their hearts. 

“i am very tired now, gun-woo. good night. and thanks for everything. i hope you sleep well.” 

“good night to you too, y/n.”

when he closed his eyes, he felt a little movement, and then heard a creak. what– something warm on his cheek. something warm and soft, feeling like… lips? 

did y/n just kiss his cheek? 

[ 𝐘/𝐍'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ]

maybe it was rash and random, and maybe that’s why she turned away from him. this day was so weird, and a lot of things happened… but having gun-woo here felt like she was at a safe place again. 

like she was at home again. in her mother’s embrace, under the blankets, with the heating bottle, in utter peace. 

she didn’t know why she did this. and she didn’t want to know what could be gun-woo’s reaction. she just wanted to sleep. 

and maybe it was too rushed, she only knew him for two days, and gun-woo was too good for her… but maybe she fell a little in love with him. 

𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐄𝐃.

author's note: on 8-9-10 of july I'll be on holiday (probably the only one in this sumer cdjksfnjks) so it's not so sure I'm gonna upload so fast, but this part is nearly twice as long as the previous ones so i hope you enjoyed uwu

taglist: @fairyhani @castleninja @littlebaby-bunbun @jaylans-stuff

(ask for tag in taglist in comment or here)

[phantomvegetable]

Trapper x Reader

an unexpected bond formed with a killer… is it worth it? (continuation of this fic. i made a little playlist for your enjoyment ;0) tw’s: canon typical violence, death, some obsession, evan being kinda delulu

Evan didn’t understand you.

You continued to seek him out during trials and attempt to bridge whatever this odd relationship was by asking him questions—that is, if you were paired together. Evan didn’t really want to think about what happened to you when you expected to face his unexplainable mercy, only to meet the end of someone—or something—else’s blade… or worse.

But, when the Entity did decide to allow he and you the chance to encounter each other—which was a rare occurrence, probably on account for Evan choosing to spare you and your team whenever he was your chosen killer. There were quotas to meet—you stuck to his side like Victor to Charlotte until you were whisked away by a fellow survivor, or until Evan reached his you-limit.

You were pleasant—lovely, even—but you were doing things to him that Evan found himself needing the space to decompress far, far away from you in solitude. It felt as if his identity as the Trapper crumbled anytime you were near, and it made his head ache. You could just be breathing next to him and Evan would begin to shut down, hands uselessly fidgeting with his bear traps as though they were the only things keeping him grounded to reality—and they might as well have been. When you came around, Evan couldn’t control himself.

Maybe you were putting some sort of curse on him.

Maybe he was okay with that.

“Do you remember who you were.. before all of this?” You ask one night while perched on the windowsill—the very same misshapen one that he broke out of not too long ago—of his hideout in the mines. It had become a strange sort of “safe” place for the two of you to meet outside of matches, all because one night you decided to enter into the wolf’s den on a whim.

“Curiosity killed the cat,” went the timeless saying… but Evan rather liked this feline, despite your apparent craving for danger.

Your question pulled Evan away from himself momentarily; brain stretching and reaching for far-away memories that felt dull and lukewarm, yet itched to be remembered. The thought of his father—the only thing that fed both his rage and the entity—was ever-present, but Evan chose to spare you his pain.

“No,” He settles on answering gruffly, frowning past all the bloodshed that seemed to be the only vivid recollection he had. At your disappointed “oh,” he hesitates. “…I drew, sometimes.”

“Really?” You smile. Evan casts his gaze to the floor. “What would you draw?”

“Don’t remember,” Evan answers truthfully, because he didn’t. He was only able to recall the feeling of peace whenever a pencil was held in his hand.

“That’s okay. Maybe you can draw something new sometime,” You suggest with a casual shrug. “I think I can scrounge up some papers and pencils around camp.”

The idea was… actually nice. Evan felt something stir up inside of him—something like hope. He risked a glance at you, the sentiment intensifying.

And then, there was the sudden urge to act on those feelings: to touch you, to hurt you, to kill you. To hunt you down and make you scream and writhe and beg in your own blood. To make you cry, but then to dry your tears. Console you, hold you, protect you. Snap your neck. Caress your face. Gouge your eyes out. Trace your lips. Tear your tongue out. Kiss it better.

Evan turns his back to you, hands balling into tight fists. This is what you did to him—and why he desperately needed to get away so often.

“Evan?” You ask apprehensively at his abrupt change in demeanor, voice grating his ears in the cruelest of ways. He groans, hands covering his mask. Voices whispered all around him, coaxing Evan to gut you alive right then and there. He was familiar with the entity’s influence over him—but never before did he have to wrestle so endlessly with it, until you came along.

“M’fine,” He rasps once he finds his voice, keeping his back to you. “You should—ngh—go.”

Evan is met with silence as a response, and he foolishly assumes you have left until you’re in his peripheral vision, cautiously circling him. Your eyebrows are pulled taut in concern—just like they were the night you rescued Evan from his own bear trap—and your gaze rakes his form for any signs of injuries. The whispers grow yet louder as you come nearer, sending Evan to his knees with a pathetic moan. Kill, they say. Kill, kill, kill.

He wants to resist. He wants to, but…

“You’re too close,” Evan growls. Thankfully, you take the warning, stilling before him.

“Where does it hurt?” You ask, voice low and calm. Evan shudders. Everywhere, he wants to answer, but grits his teeth instead and tries to shut you out. When your fingers brush his cracked skin, Evan snatches your wrist in one quick motion, chin jerking upwards to meet your frightened eyes with his own wild ones.

Your bones feel so fragile beneath his hold—he could snap them within seconds. He adds pressure. You wince, arm twitching in pain, yet not drawing back. He squeezes, and you yelp. This time, you tug your arm away, which he lets slip through his fingers. The entity has progressively decreased in volume, leaving he and you in an uncomfortable silence. When Evan stands, you take a small step back. Something inside of him wilts.

“…You’re afraid,” He states, matter-of-fact. You inhale sharply.

“A little,” You admit, voice quiet—soft. Evan bunches his hands into fists, curling and uncurling them as he debates how to fix this.

The recognizable tug of a trial begins to pull Evan away, severing the tension if only for a moment. Something was off—Evan sensed it the moment the fog cleared. The air tingled with the impression of apprehension and unfamiliarity, as if the land itself was preparing for new terrors. Turning his head ever so slightly, he could see why.

The Huntress stood tall and resilient next to him, gripping her axes with a calm smile that did not match the hunger for blood in her inky black eyes. The cleaver in his own hand weighed heavily and all five of his senses were heightened, confirming the actuality of the two-killer trial.

Evan breathed a sigh of resentment, irritation prickling his skin. He would have to wait to talk to you—if you wanted to see him, that is. Something about you not being around felt deeply, deeply wrong, which only further soured his mood.

He acknowledged Anna with merely a grunt to which she dipped her head in greeting, stalking off moments after while humming a tune that followed her into the dark. Evan set out to place his traps; hiding them in obscure places, counting each unsuspecting human that he passed along the way. He made a mental note that none of them happened to be you.

As he finished locking the final pair of metallic jaws into place, Evan couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if he held you in his grasp just a while longer.

Would he have broken your bones? Probably. Would he have liked to break more? Probably. Would he have killed you?

Yes, a taunting voice answers in the back of his mind. You were designed to kill, Trapper. You can’t hide from it forever.

Trapper. That’s right—he was Trapper, wasn’t he? Not “Evan,” like you called him. Trapper.

Maybe this was never destined to work. Maybe you were only allowed to show him a little bit of mercy only to remind Evan why he shouldn’t be granted such a gift—he was in hell, after all. He was being punished for his crimes.

Evan ponders this as he downs one survivor after another; hanging some on hooks, slashing others to death. He’s after one cunning prey that had stunned him with a pallet when, like a ghost, you cut across his line of sight without looking his way, Anna hot on your heels. Evan is stopped in his tracks, head inclined to watch where you and she disappear to, completely disregarding his chase.

A new feeling—one emerging from a dark, twisted place inside of him—rises to Evan’s chest that causes his heart to twinge unpleasantly, and before he knows what’s taken over him, he’s following swiftly behind.

The sight Evan comes across is enough to make him boil.

You’re flat on your belly, groveling in the dirt; an axe is plunged deeply in your right shoulder that fails to drag you away from Anna, who is closing in on her kill without breaking her lullaby. Her heel comes heavily upon your back as she rips the tool from your flesh, eliciting a scream that tears from your throat and goes straight to Evan’s head.

He’s heard you scream before—back when he would kill you over, over, and over again.

He doesn’t like the sound this time.

Evan’s footfalls don’t cease; he lumbers forward, weapon beginning to raise. If Anna notices him, she doesn’t care that he’s fast approaching—your fate is sealed.

A swing, a squelching wet sound, and the Huntress comes crashing down next to you.

Her death is quick. The mask she wears is cracked in half along with her skull, split wide open and bleeding profusely. Evan looms above, breathing heavily, covered in the spray. Despite her being dead, Evan leans down close to her fresh corpse, sneering beneath his mask.

“Mine,” He hisses, finally identifying the emotion from earlier. Jealousy.

You’ve spun over on your back at this point, hand clutching at your wounded shoulder that oozes crimson. You look a mix of both bewildered and mortified. As Evan approaches, you, strangely, do not cower in fear. He squats down, leaning in close enough to blow your bangs back from his exhales.

“Won’t hurt you,” He mumbles hoarsely, searching your eyes. “Didn’t mean to.” He brings a hand to your face, gingerly swiping your hair off of your sticky forehead. You lick your lips, trying to find your voice.

“C-Can you pick me up?” Comes your question, soft as a whisper. Evan nods. He’s careful of your injury as he effortlessly lifts you up, the feeling of someone so close foreign to him. You wrap your good arm behind his neck, avoiding the various hooks that protrude like unwelcome parasites from his back.

Without another word, Evan begins his march out of the trial and into the fog, the two of you never to be seen again.