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kenzdolls · 29 days ago

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OBLIVIOUSNESS . 5.8k

𖤐 synopsis: you’ve just arrived as the new student of ua, and kirishima and bakugou have grown a liking to you. but, you’re very oblivious to their feelings.

𖤐 pairing: katsuki bakugo + eijiro kirishima x fem! reader

𖤐 sent in by: @cosmopretty

𖤐 trigger warnings: mild violence, mild swearing [katsuki duh]

𖤐 side note: this has some ooc of the quirk for reader.

you took a deep breath as you stared up at the imposing gates of ua high school. after your family's unexpected move to japan, you never imagined you'd end up transferring to the most prestigious hero school in the country. yet here you were, your quirk—the ability to temporarily absorb and redirect kinetic energy—deemed impressive enough to warrant a mid-semester transfer to class 1-a.

"you can do this," you whispered to yourself, adjusting your new uniform one last time before stepping through the gates.

the school was even more impressive on the inside than you'd imagined. massive hallways lined with windows stretched before you, and students with incredible quirks milled about, chatting and laughing as if attending the top hero academy in japan was completely normal.

"are you the new transfer student?" a friendly voice called out.

you turned to see a tall boy with glasses approaching you, his movements almost robotically precise. he adjusted his glasses with a crisp motion.

"i am iida tenya, class 1-a representative! it is my duty to escort you to our classroom and ensure your integration is smooth and efficient!"

his enthusiasm made you smile despite your nerves. "yes, that's me. i'm y/n. thank you for the help."

"excellent! follow me, and i will explain the essential protocols of ua as we proceed!"

as iida led you through the school, practically speed-walking while delivering an impromptu lecture on ua's rules and schedules, you tried to absorb as much information as possible. but your mind kept wandering to what your new classmates would be like. would they accept you? would your quirk measure up?

——

"class, we have a new student joining us today," aizawa-sensei announced in his usual monotone voice, barely looking up from his papers. he looked tired, wrapped in his yellow sleeping bag despite standing at the podium. "please introduce yourself."

you smiled nervously as twenty pairs of curious eyes fixed on you. the classroom fell silent, and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest.

"hi everyone! i'm y/n. i just moved here from overseas. my quirk is energy redirection—i can absorb kinetic energy and release it when needed. i'm really excited to train with all of you and become a hero!"

as you scanned the classroom, your gaze lingered momentarily on two boys sitting near each other. one had spiky ash-blonde hair and intense crimson eyes that seemed to be studying you with unusual interest. his posture was confident, borderline arrogant, with his feet propped up on his desk despite iida's obvious disapproval.

the other boy had vibrant red hair styled in sharp points and a friendly smile that instantly put you at ease. unlike the blonde, he was leaning forward in his seat, looking genuinely interested in your introduction.

"you can take the empty seat behind kirishima," aizawa pointed to the red-haired boy, who immediately turned around and flashed you a sharp-toothed grin.

"hey there! i'm kirishima eijiro! your quirk sounds super manly!" his enthusiasm was infectious, and you couldn't help but smile back.

"thanks, i'm still working on controlling it completely. sometimes i absorb too much energy at once and it's hard to regulate the release."

"that's so cool though! my quirk is hardening," he demonstrated by hardening his arm, which turned jagged and rock-like. "not as flashy as yours, but it gets the job done!"

"i think it's amazing," you replied honestly, impressed by the transformation.

"tch, another extra joining the class," the blonde boy grumbled, though his eyes never left you. there was something about his gaze that didn't match his dismissive tone—he seemed to be assessing you, calculating.

"don't mind bakugo," kirishima laughed, nudging the blonde's shoulder with surprising familiarity. "that's just his way of saying hello. he's actually really awesome once you get to know him. best explosion quirk in the school!"

bakugo scowled but didn't correct him. "if you're going to be in the hero course, you better not slow the rest of us down," he said to you, but there was a flicker of interest in his eyes that belied his harsh words.

"i'll try to keep up," you replied with a small smile, refusing to be intimidated.

something like approval flashed across bakugo's face before he turned back around in his seat.

"all right, enough socializing," aizawa called out, fully emerging from his sleeping bag. "let's begin today's lesson."

——

your first week at ua was a whirlwind of new faces, challenging classes, and grueling training sessions. you quickly learned that ua's reputation for excellence was well-earned—every student was pushed to their limits daily.

to your surprise, you found yourself frequently in kirishima and bakugo's company. it started during your first practical training session when all might paired you with kirishima.

"young y/n! let's see how your energy redirection works with young kirishima's hardening! a fine combination of offense and defense!" the legendary hero boomed.

you and kirishima clicked immediately as training partners. his hardened body could deliver powerful impacts that you could absorb and redirect, multiplying the force. by the end of the session, even all might was impressed.

"excellent teamwork!" he announced, giving you both a thumbs up.

"that was amazing!" kirishima high-fived you, his sharp teeth gleaming in a wide smile. "we're like the perfect combo!"

"not bad," came a gruff voice from behind you. bakugo stood there, arms crossed but eyes attentive. "your quirk might actually be useful in a real fight."

coming from bakugo, you quickly realized this was high praise.

"thanks," you replied, genuinely pleased. "i saw you training too—your explosions are incredible."

"hell yeah they are," he said with a smirk, but there was less hostility in his tone than before.

"hey, y/n!" kirishima chimed in. "a bunch of us usually study together at the library after classes. you should join us!"

"really? that would be great, actually. i'm still catching up on some of the material."

"awesome! bakugo comes too—he's actually super smart, even if he pretends not to care."

"shut up, shitty hair," bakugo growled, but there was no real malice behind it.

you noticed something then—a certain softness in bakugo's eyes when he looked at kirishima, a subtle shift in his perpetually angry expression. and the way kirishima could touch bakugo's arm or shoulder without getting blasted across the room… it spoke of a closeness that went beyond ordinary friendship.

——

over the next few weeks, you found yourself spending more and more time with both kirishima and bakugo. what started as kirishima offering to help you catch up on training quickly evolved into the three of you studying together, having lunch together, and even hanging out after school.

one afternoon, you were studying in the library with them when you noticed bakugo uncharacteristically helping kirishima understand a complex hero law concept.

"no, hair-for-brains, the liability statute only applies if the civilian was already in danger," bakugo explained, his voice softer than usual. his shoulder pressed against kirishima's as he pointed to a passage in the textbook.

"ohhh, i get it now!" kirishima beamed, practically glowing under bakugo's attention. "you explain it way better than the book, bakugo!"

"that's because the book was written by idiots," bakugo muttered, but a small, proud smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

you watched this exchange with growing realization. the lingering touches, the softened voices, the private smiles—they weren't just close friends. there was something more between them.

"y/n, you okay?" kirishima asked, noticing your thoughtful expression.

"oh! yeah, i'm fine," you replied quickly. "just trying to understand this material."

"want me to help you too?" kirishima offered eagerly. "bakugo just explained it really well!"

"sure," you smiled, sliding your chair closer to theirs. as kirishima launched into an explanation, with occasional corrections from bakugo, you couldn't help but feel a warm sense of belonging. these two boys, as different as they were, had somehow made room for you in their world.

what you didn't know was that the two boys had been dating quietly for a few months before your arrival. and now, they both found themselves increasingly drawn to you, a development that surprisingly didn't cause jealousy but rather mutual understanding between them.

——

"i think she's amazing," kirishima confessed to bakugo one evening as they walked home after parting ways with you. the sunset painted the sky in shades of orange and pink, casting a warm glow over them. "the way she handled that simulation exercise today was incredible."

"she's got good instincts," bakugo grudgingly admitted, which was high praise coming from him. "and she doesn't take shit from anyone."

just that afternoon, you had stood your ground when monoma from class 1-b tried to belittle your quirk. your calm but cutting response had left him speechless, and bakugo had actually laughed out loud.

"you like her too," kirishima nudged him, grinning knowingly.

"shut up, hair-for-brains." bakugo shoved his hands in his pockets, but he didn't deny it.

they walked in comfortable silence for a few moments before kirishima spoke again.

"you know, we could…"

"could what?"

"tell her. about us. and how we both feel about her."

bakugo was silent for a long moment. "you think that would work? us and her?"

"i don't know," kirishima shrugged, reaching out to take bakugo's hand. "but i think it's worth trying. the way she looks at you when you're training… and she always sits next to you at lunch even though you pretend to be annoyed."

"she sits next to you too, idiot."

"exactly," kirishima grinned. "i think she likes both of us."

bakugo squeezed kirishima's hand, his expression thoughtful. "let's give it a few more days. make sure."

——

meanwhile, you remained completely oblivious to their feelings. to you, kirishima was just being his usual friendly self, and bakugo's gradual softening around you seemed like normal friendship development. you didn't notice how kirishima always found excuses to sit next to you during class, or how bakugo's eyes followed you during training sessions.

you also didn't see how the rest of the class had started to notice the dynamic between the three of you.

"y/n is so clueless," mina whispered to uraraka during lunch one day, her yellow eyes darting toward where you sat between kirishima and bakugo. "those two are practically tripping over themselves for her attention."

"wait, i thought kirishima and bakugo were together?" uraraka asked, confused. "i've seen them holding hands when they think no one's looking."

"they are," tsuyu joined in, her finger on her chin thoughtfully. "but they both seem to like y/n too. kero."

"that's… actually kind of sweet," uraraka smiled, watching as kirishima offered you some of his lunch and bakugo pretended not to notice but still pushed his dessert toward you when he thought no one was looking.

"i wonder if she knows," mina mused.

"i don't think she does," todoroki unexpectedly joined the conversation. "she looks at them the same way they look at her when the other isn't watching."

the girls turned to him in surprise.

"what?" he shrugged. "it's obvious."

——

the next day, you were paired with kirishima for rescue training. the scenario involved rescuing civilians (represented by weighted dummies) from a collapsing building.

"ready for this?" kirishima asked, flexing his hardened arms with excitement.

"born ready," you grinned, feeling a surge of confidence. over the past weeks, your control over your quirk had improved immensely, partly thanks to kirishima and bakugo's help during extra training sessions.

as you entered the training zone, the simulated building began to crumble around you. kirishima immediately hardened his body and shielded you from falling debris.

"thanks!" you called out, already moving toward the first dummy.

"no problem! that's what heroes do!" he replied, his smile impossibly bright despite the chaotic environment.

working together seamlessly, you began evacuating the "civilians." kirishima would break through obstacles while you used your absorbed energy to clear paths or boost your speed to reach stranded dummies.

at one point, a particularly large piece of concrete came crashing down. kirishima hardened just in time, catching it inches above your head.

"that was close," you breathed, finding yourself suddenly very close to him, his face just inches from yours.

"i'd never let anything happen to you," he said, his voice uncharacteristically serious. for a moment, time seemed to stand still as you stared into each other's eyes.

the spell was broken by aizawa's voice over the intercom. "five minutes remaining."

you both snapped back to the task at hand, but something had shifted between you and kirishima—a new awareness that hadn't been there before.

from the observation deck, bakugo watched the exchange with narrowed eyes, not out of jealousy but with growing certainty. the way you looked at kirishima… it was the same way you sometimes looked at him when you thought he wasn't paying attention.

——

the breaking point came during a joint training session a few days later. you were paired with bakugo against kirishima and todoroki in a capture-the-flag style exercise. the objective was to either secure the opposing team's flag or immobilize both opponents.

"don't hold me back," bakugo warned as you took your positions, but there was no bite to his words.

"wouldn't dream of it," you replied with a smirk. "i've got a strategy if you're willing to hear it."

bakugo raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "let's hear it."

you quickly outlined a plan that would use his explosions and your energy redirection to create a diversion while also setting up a powerful combo attack. to your surprise, bakugo actually listened without interrupting.

"not bad," he admitted when you finished. "let's do it."

as the exercise began, you and bakugo moved with surprising synchronicity. you flanked todoroki and kirishima's position, with bakugo launching calculated explosions that you partly absorbed, building up energy for the decisive moment.

when todoroki created an ice wall to block your advance, bakugo blasted through it, creating a shower of ice fragments that momentarily distracted them. in that perfect opening, you released all your stored energy in a concentrated wave that knocked todoroki off his feet.

kirishima, hardened and prepared, charged toward you. bakugo moved without hesitation, positioning himself between you and kirishima.

"now!" he shouted.

understanding instantly, you placed your hand on bakugo's back, absorbing the kinetic energy as he created a massive explosion directed at the ground. the force would have thrown both of you backward, but you channeled the energy and redirected it forward, propelling bakugo like a missile straight into kirishima.

the impact was calculated perfectly—strong enough to push kirishima back but not enough to hurt him seriously through his hardening. the momentum carried bakugo and kirishima tumbling to the ground, with bakugo quickly pinning the red-haired boy.

"gotcha," bakugo grinned triumphantly.

meanwhile, you dashed for their flag, snatching it just as todoroki was getting back to his feet.

"victory to team bakugo and y/n!" all might's voice boomed over the speakers.

you ran over to where bakugo still had kirishima pinned, both boys looking up at you with expressions of admiration—kirishima's open and bright, bakugo's subtle but unmistakable.

"that was fucking amazing!" bakugo exclaimed, finally releasing kirishima and grabbing your shoulders with an excited gleam in his eyes that you'd never seen before. "the way you redirected my explosion—nobody's ever synchronized with my quirk like that!"

"we make a good team," you laughed, slightly breathless from the fight and his unexpected praise.

"hell yeah we do," he agreed, still holding onto you, his crimson eyes locked with yours. for a moment, it seemed like he might say something more, but he released you and stepped back, a faint dusting of pink on his cheeks.

"that was amazing you guys!" kirishima jumped up, seemingly unbothered by his defeat. "even though you beat us, the way you handled bakugo's explosions was incredible, y/n! and bakugo, dude, that strategy was genius!"

"thanks," you smiled, accepting the water bottle kirishima offered you. "though i think bakugo did most of the work."

"no way," kirishima shook his head, his eyes sincere. "you two were perfectly in sync. you know, he doesn't work well with just anyone."

"really?" you looked over to where bakugo was now arguing with todoroki about something, gesturing wildly. despite his confrontational stance, you could tell he was more animated than angry. "i feel like i've known you both forever, even though it's only been a few weeks."

kirishima's expression softened. "i know exactly what you mean."

across the training ground, bakugo caught kirishima's eye over todoroki's shoulder. something unspoken passed between them—a silent agreement.

——

later that afternoon, you were in the girls' locker room changing after training when mina sidled up next to you.

"sooo," she drawled, her yellow and black eyes gleaming with mischief. "you, bakugo, and kirishima, huh?"

"what about us?" you asked, genuinely confused as you pulled your uniform shirt on.

"oh come on!" mina groaned dramatically. "the way they look at you? the way you look at them? it's the juiciest drama in class right now!"

"i don't know what you're talking about," you insisted, though you could feel your cheeks warming. "we're just friends."

uraraka joined the conversation with a gentle smile. "y/n, kirishima literally gives you his jacket whenever you say you're cold. and yesterday bakugo yelled at mineta for staring at you for too long."

"that's just kirishima being nice and bakugo being… bakugo," you replied, though a strange flutter was building in your chest.

tsuyu tilted her head. "you really don't see it? kero."

"see what?"

"that they're both totally into you!" mina exclaimed. "and from what i can tell, you're into them too!"

"but they're together," you blurted out before you could stop yourself. you'd never spoken this observation aloud before, but you'd been increasingly certain of it.

the three girls exchanged knowing glances.

"so you've noticed that much at least," mina said. "yes, they are. but that doesn't mean they can't also like you."

you stood there, uniform half-buttoned, mind racing. could it be true? had you been completely missing the signs?

"think about it," uraraka said gently. "how often do they both just happen to be wherever you are?"

"how bakugo is almost nice to you when he's a jerk to everyone else," mina added.

"how kirishima always saves you a seat," tsuyu finished.

as they spoke, dozens of little moments flashed through your mind—bakugo's lingering glances, kirishima's casual touches, the way they always included you… had you really been that oblivious?

"i… i need to think," you mumbled, hastily finishing changing and grabbing your bag.

as you left the locker room, your phone buzzed with a text. it was from kirishima:

hey! bakugo and i were wondering if you could meet us on the roof after school? there's something we want to talk to you about. no pressure though!

your heart skipped a beat as you read the message. after your conversation with the girls, the timing seemed almost too perfect. you hesitated for just a moment before typing back:

sure, see you there.

——

the rest of the day passed in a blur. you couldn't focus on any of your classes, your mind constantly drifting to what kirishima and bakugo might want to talk about. by the time the final bell rang, your stomach was in knots.

you made your way slowly to the roof, each step feeling heavier than the last. what if the girls were wrong? what if this was about something completely different? or worse, what if they had somehow found out about your growing feelings for both of them and wanted to let you down gently?

the sun was setting as you pushed open the door to find both boys waiting, looking uncharacteristically nervous—even bakugo seemed on edge, pacing back and forth while kirishima leaned against the railing.

"hey," you called out softly, causing both to turn toward you simultaneously.

"y/n! you came!" kirishima's face lit up, though you could see he was fidgeting with the hem of his uniform jacket.

"of course," you replied, walking over to join them. "is everything okay?"

the boys exchanged a look, some silent communication passing between them. finally, bakugo took a deep breath.

"y/n," he started, uncharacteristically using your actual name instead of some nickname. "we have something to tell you."

"first," kirishima jumped in, "we want you to know that there's no pressure here. whatever you decide is totally cool."

"decide about what?" you asked, heart hammering against your ribs.

"shitty hair and i have been dating for a while now," bakugo stated bluntly, watching your reaction carefully.

even though you'd suspected it, hearing the confirmation still made your breath catch. "oh! that's great! you guys make a really cute couple." you meant it sincerely, even as part of your heart sank at the confirmation.

"there's more," kirishima continued, his cheeks almost matching his hair as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "we both… really like you. as more than a friend."

"a lot more," bakugo added, his eyes intense as they fixed on yours. "and it's not just physical or whatever. you're strong and you don't take shit and you're… you."

you blinked, processing their words as your mind raced to catch up. "wait… both of you? like me?"

"yeah," kirishima nodded, looking both hopeful and terrified. "i know it might sound weird or complicated—"

"it's not weird," you interrupted, a slow smile spreading across your face as relief and joy flooded through you. "i like both of you too. i have for weeks. i just never thought…"

"are you serious?" bakugo looked genuinely shocked, which was rare for him. "how could you not notice? i've been less of an asshole to you than to anyone else in this entire school!"

"and i've been finding every excuse to be near you," kirishima added incredulously. "i literally gave you my favorite hoodie last week!"

"oh my god," you laughed, suddenly seeing all those moments in a new light. "mina and the girls were right. i am oblivious."

"no shit," bakugo muttered, but there was no real heat behind his words. in fact, you could swear you saw the corner of his mouth twitch upward.

"so…" kirishima took a step closer to you, hope shining in his eyes. "would you want to… be with us? both of us? we've talked about it a lot and we both want this—want you—if you're interested."

your answer was to close the distance and take both their hands in yours, kirishima's calloused from his hardening quirk, bakugo's warm from his explosions. "yes. absolutely yes."

the smile that broke across kirishima's face was blinding, all sharp teeth and pure joy. even bakugo couldn't maintain his scowl, a genuine smile softening his features in a way you'd rarely seen.

"can i…" kirishima hesitated, looking at you with such tenderness it made your heart ache. "can i kiss you?"

your answer was to lean forward and press your lips to his. the kiss was sweet and gentle, everything you'd imagined kissing kirishima would be like. when you pulled back, his eyes were wide with wonder.

"wow," he breathed.

you turned to bakugo, whose eyes had darkened as he watched the two of you. "your turn?"

for a moment, he didn't move, and you worried you'd misstepped. then he cupped your face with surprising gentleness and pulled you into a kiss that was all passion and barely restrained fire—completely bakugo.

when he released you, you were breathless.

"damn," kirishima whispered, watching both of you with undisguised admiration.

the three of you stood there as the sun dipped below the horizon, bathing the rooftop in golden light. kirishima's arm slipped around your waist, and bakugo's hand remained intertwined with yours.

"so," you finally asked, "how does this work exactly?"

"however we want it to," bakugo replied with unexpected wisdom. "no rulebook for this shit."

"we'll figure it out together," kirishima added, squeezing you closer. "that's what heroes do, right? face the unknown."

standing there between them, feeling bakugo's steady presence on one side and kirishima's warm enthusiasm on the other, you had never felt more certain of anything in your life.

——

the next day, the entire class 1-a froze in collective shock when the three of you walked into homeroom together. bakugo had his arm casually draped over your shoulder, while you held kirishima's hand on your other side. the three of you had talked late into the night, figuring out the beginnings of your relationship, and had decided there was no point in hiding it.

mina was the first to react, letting out an excited squeal that made jirou wince beside her. "finally!"

"wait, are all three of you…?" kaminari pointed between you, his face a mixture of confusion and awe.

"got a problem with it, dunce face?" bakugo challenged, pulling you slightly closer in a protective gesture.

"n-no! it's cool!" kaminari quickly backed down before breaking into a grin. "actually, it's kind of awesome."

"i'm so happy for you guys!" uraraka beamed, giving you a thumbs up.

iida adjusted his glasses, looking momentarily flustered before regaining his composure. "while this is certainly an unconventional arrangement, as long as it doesn't interfere with your studies or hero training, i see no reason to object!"

"thanks, class rep," kirishima laughed, squeezing your hand.

as you took your seats, you could feel the curious glances of your classmates, but they were largely supportive—or at least interested rather than judgmental. even todoroki gave a small nod of acknowledgment as you passed his desk.

during lunch, the shock value had still not worn off as you sat between the boys in the cafeteria, kirishima feeding you bites of his food while bakugo's leg pressed against yours under the table.

"i still can't believe she didn't notice we liked her," kirishima chuckled, his arm draped comfortably across the back of your chair.

"oblivious as hell," bakugo agreed, but his tone was almost affectionate as he reached over to brush a strand of hair from your face. the gesture was so casual yet intimate that several nearby students did double-takes.

"hey, i got there eventually," you protested with a laugh.

"yeah," kirishima smiled, resting his head on your shoulder while bakugo's hand found yours under the table. "you did."

across the cafeteria, the rest of class 1-a watched in amazement.

"i've never seen bakugo so… calm," midoriya whispered, unable to tear his eyes away from the unusual sight of bakugo showing affection openly.

"love changes people, i guess," uraraka replied with a smile.

"it's manly as hell," tetsutetsu commented from the class 1-b table. "they're not afraid to be who they are."

as if hearing them, bakugo turned to glare in their direction, but when you leaned in to say something to him, his expression immediately softened as he turned back to you.

"so, training after school?" you asked both boys. "i want to try this new move i've been thinking about—combining bakugo's explosion with kirishima's hardening."

"hell yeah," bakugo nodded, a gleam of excitement in his eyes. "i've got a few ideas too."

"count me in!" kirishima added enthusiastically. "with the three of us working together, we'll be unstoppable!"

watching them together—bakugo's fierce determination and kirishima's unwavering positivity—you couldn't help but feel that maybe, just maybe, the three of you really would be unstoppable. not just as heroes in training, but as partners supporting each other through whatever challenges lay ahead.

some things would never change completely. bakugo would always be explosive, kirishima would always be enthusiastic, and perhaps you would always be a little oblivious. but that was perfectly fine with the three of you.

after all, it had led you exactly where you were meant to be—together.

taglist: [open]

mutuals: @https-bakugo @haikyuubby @va-3 @lotusstarr @tulippanes @gh0st-g1rll @luvseraphh

182 notes · View notes

yawujin · 1 year ago

Note

Hello

So I don't know if you're opposed to writing for the v2 boys but if you aren't

Could you please write v2 boys x s/o who is very hard working so when they get focused they forget to eat or drink water a lot &(if you're comfy trans male reader) they forget to take their binder off and rest.

Thxxxxxxxx

ofc i'll write the sdr2 boys i love them

request | sdr2 boys x an S/O who is hard working

type | react , light hearted , non killing game , established relationship , trans male reader

hajime hinata ♡

respects you for working so hard

always reminding you to take a break

hajime's a good listener so you can go to him to talk about work troubles you have

he secretly daydreams of another life where you two can just relax 24/7 so you do not have to worry so much about work

admires and appreciates all that you do

gets really excited when you finally finish your work for the day

kazuichi souda ♡

he gets it

relates to you bc he has had to stay up late working and fixing things

he learned the hard way that he must always keep water or something to hydrate himself while working

he's lowkey the type to ask "have you eaten yet?"

he cares sm about you

even though sometimes he also forgets to pack some lunch for himself for work lol

you two look out for each other always <3

fuyuhiko kuzuryu ♡

you already know he's the type to text you constantly throughout the day

"you're going to eat right?" "there has to be something in the vending machines there you can buy."

angry texts when you say all you had so far was some crappy instant coffee

even angrier texts when you tell him you're working after hours

always insistant on you taking a break (even if you just started working on something)

"i love you so much and if somehow someday you collapse while working i'll never forgive myself"

gundham tanaka ♡

orders you to stop working and take a break

no seriously, he orders you to take some time off

"the supreme overlord of ice commands you to STOP!"

he demands you come to bed and keep him warm

but first he reminds you to take off your armor (referring to your binder)

you still had it on oops

you just laugh a little bit and change

finally, you both can get some rest after a long day

nekomaru nidai ♡

he reminds you not to push yourself too hard

"it's kind of like training, you must know your limits!"

is willing to make a list for with designated times for breaks in your schedule

gets hyped up when you have a day off so you two can finally have a date/datenight

has a whole lot of respect for you and your ability to push through especially hard days

"just keep it in the back of your mind that i'll always be here if you need me for something, got it?"

ultimate imposter ♡

brings food to you

gently urges you to take a break

hugs from behind while you work

prefers it when you work from home

picks you up from work whenever he can

teruteru hanamura ♡

when you come home, the first thing he does is feed you

he makes all your favorite dishes ofc

he can always tell if you neglected yourself during work hours

"can't fool me, as your boyfriend i know what you need!"

keeps track of your days off incase you try to get a head start in working on something new

"nope sorry! can't have that today. you and i are due for a date at the diner"

sends you positive and encouraging and rather suggestive messages while you are at work

nagito komaeda ♡

very persuasive when he's trying to get you to rest after a long work day

you finally choose rest and nagito over more paperwork you need to sort out

"tomorrow's always there" he reassures you

"oh and, make sure to take that off" he says, looking at your binder

you almost finished changing without doing so

nagito gives you some affirmations while you drift off to sleep

"you work too hard..." he sighs sadly. "goodnight~"

⋆ ˚｡⋆ my ao3

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pennyluna · 1 year ago

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PERFECT FIT - ONE SHOT - JUNGKOOK

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (Female) 🔞🔞

Genre: Friends with benefits, Coworkers. Idol. Tour manager.

Plot: College friends turned Coworkers turned friends with benefits. (turned couple implied)

Word count: 2.762

A/N: Hope you guys enjoy this one. It's a bit longer than what I usually write but I hope that is okay.

"Go.. Get out" I say while giggling and fake pushing my lover away.

Jungkook and I have been sleeping together for a while, He is the lead singer in a band and I am said band's Tour manager. I know, I know... it seems unethical but keep in mind that we have been friends and a little more than that since college but then due to career choices we went our separate ways, we kept in touch a bit and didn't really reunite until later on when he was already famous and I had become an events manager in the Entertainment industry. We started hooking up again around a month before I got this job, once we started working together we tried to take a break for the sake of being professional but somehow ended up in bed together. Again and again and again.

"You have to go out there for rehearsal before they come looking for you again" I insist, which isn't really working since he is tracing his nose against my neck slowly.

"Ugh, I don't want to go" his hands starts to tease the small of my back, playing with the hem of my t-shirt. "I would rather stay here and go for round two instead"

A voice asking if anyone has eyes on Jungkook comes through the walkie talkie on my hand, so I push him away "As tempting as that sounds, we gotta go. NOW."

After fixing ourselves I spoke into the walkie talkie announcing that I would be walking him to rehearsals. No one found it weird that we spent a lot of time together since we had known each other for a long time.

During rehearsals I liked to sit in the front rows working on my computer, this show in London is very important so I like to double check everything more accurately than usual. There would be a couple of musical guest joining him on stage so I wanted to make sure the schedule was perfect before going to get some rest and then getting ready for the show.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before the show I head into the backstage room where Jungkook is getting ready, I need to check that he has everything he needs and that everyone is on time.

"Finally.. you are here." he says exhaling heavily.

"Yuup. what's happening?"

"Nothing, I'm a little more nervous than usual so I need one of your pep talks" He says loudly, looking discreetly around the room and smirking at me. I narrow my eyes in confusion, he never needs pep talks.

"OH, Yeah of course." I say as normally as possible before clearing my throat and walking to the door to hold it open "Okay everyone, we are going to need a moment. You are doing a wonderful job, please go and enjoy some refreshments in the back stage area"

I watch as the last person exits and by the time the door fully closes, Jungkook is already crashing against my body, pressing me against the door and kissing me hard.

"Pep talk, huh?" I say breathless before continuing with the kiss. I know what he needs, he needs to take the edge off and he needs my body for that.

Mindful of his already done hair, we start to take our clothes off and fall onto the sofa. I'm on top of him straddling him and grinding on him before he grabs his cock and rubs it against my entrance -God that feels good- I moan into his kiss and then gasp when he pushes himself inside of me. The neediness he is showing with his kiss and his grip on my hips is telling me this won't last long..

My previous thought is confirmed once he turns us so that I am now under him, his face buried on my neck and I can smell his cologne, incredibly sexy mixed with his personal scent. I could pass out from how good I'm feeling right now. His deep and slow strokes inside of me are killing me and giving me life all at once and I want to scream when I reach my orgasm but I know I need to keep it low since anyone could hear us if they got too close to the door.

I hear him grunt and suddenly feel my body pulled from the couch and bent over the table, I know he needs me to take him fully now. He slides into me and moves my hair from my back, that's the last gentle touch I will feel before our final orgasm of the session. His pace starts increasing rapidly, his hands holding my hips in place while he rams himself in me, with hard and precise moves. I can feel my orgasm building and I know he is getting close too because of the small shake of his hands on my hips. A couple more strokes and he empties himself inside of me with a grunt. His breathing heavy when he bents to kiss my back gently.

We clean ourselves and get ready before heading out. He stops by the door and looks at me "Hey I want us to talk about something after the concert tonight." he turns around and heads straight to the stage. He looks fucking good.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The concert went amazing, He just sang his last song and is now heading back stage to change into normal clothes and prepare to go back to the hotel. I would typically meet him there but this time I have a lot of post concert work to do before we travel to the next country.

I finish earlier than expected so I came back to the hotel, showered and decide to go and insert myself on Jungkook's post concert ritual. Long hot bath, nice food and movie.

While walking to his room, I get a funny feeling but I ignore it, blaming it on how tired I am. I pull out my spare key card to his room and let myself in. Closing the door quietly to avoid alerting him and spoil the surprise visit but when I turn around I am the one that is surprised because standing there holding a bottle of champagne and two glasses, is a completely naked, gorgeous blonde girl and my hearts drops to the floor, right next to the pile of clothes pooling around the girl's feet.

Before the blonde can speak I turn around to leave the room but suddenly the bathroom door opens.

"What is going on?" Jungkook says, his voice laced with confusion. He scans the naked girl and then looks at me. "(Y/N)?"

I open my mouth to speak but I close it immediately when the blonde moves towards him. Instead I shut my eyes for a second and breath out. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you had company... we can discuss the concert tomorrow. Please enjoy your night." I try to offer a nice smile but I'm sure it didn't look sincere at all and maybe my glossy eyes gave it away too.

"(Y/N) wait! I'm so confused, what- I thought we- Please wait-" He starts following me while I'm heading out of the room so I turn around and push a hand to his chest stopping him.

"Stop right there, the last thing we need is someone taking pictures of you" I point towards his naked body that is only covered by a towel "Following me out of your room. So save us a scandal and get back in your room."

My tone left no space for negotiation and I know he realized I was no longer in a friendly mood. This was work.

"Is that what you want (Y/N)?" I nod in response to his question and he pushes the door closed.

I head back to my room and crawl into bed, not even taking my clothes off. the next thing I hear is the alarm going off and telling me it was next day and I hadn't managed to sleep much. What I saw last night, had actually happened.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next few dates of the tour went by in a blur, I had gone into full business mode and completely froze out any feelings I might have had for Jungkook. He had texted me multiple times but I ignored anything that wasn't work related. He was now just work, I had to force myself to believe that and to remind myself of that every time he walked by looking hot as hell. Or well, pretty much any time he did anything. So freaking annoying.

Everyone had noticed our slight distance from each other but we covered it with being busy and keeping our meetings short. Pretty much like the one we are in right now, discussing any details that need to be fixed or changed before the next concert. He is sitting right in front of me and for the first time since meeting him, I feel uncomfortably exposed while he stares at me, so I don't look up from my computer while everyone else is leaving the Hotel conference room.

"Hey can we talk?" I think I can sense something very close to worry in his tone.

"Are you concerned with any of the changes made to the schedule?" I say with my most professional tone, still not looking up from my computer.

"No, its not about that. I just think you should know that the other night-"

"It's none of my business." I stop his sentence "Whatever you do on your free time, does not concern me."

He starts to walk away and I can feel him stopping and looking at me.

"I'm confused. why are you mad at me?" His question sound charged with accusations.

"I'm not-"

"Stop the bullshit." he stops me with an angry tone.

I stand up and walk towards him. "No, you stop. You don't need to explain anything because I get it. That is how you relax. That is what you needed and I was busy." The anger and frustration I'm feeling is now evident in my voice.

"And that's how you thought I should do it?"

"Isn't that how you always do it?" I start to walk away because I am not sure I want to hear his answer.

"No." He yells in frustration "Not since you."

I bend to grab my laptop and pack my bag so I can get out of here and go to the lunch room we reserved for everyone in the team. "Stop. Don't say things like that. I have to go." I'm almost pleading.

"There you go again." he laughs but the sound lacks sincerity. "You are shutting me out, same way you did in college. You couldn't admit your feelings and accept mine so you shut me out and start dating that sorry excuse of a man who didn't even get you like I do." he sounds frustrated and when I turn to look at his face he looks it too. "The only difference is that this time you are arranging hookups for me."

I'm in slight shock from his mini rant, is he jealous? and his glare is captivating but his last words make no sense.

"Wait.. what are you talking about?"

"We could work (Y/N)! That's what I wanted to talk to you about that night." he takes a step towards me.

"No, wait.. what? what do you mean I'm arranging hookups for you?"

"Isn't that why you brought Becca to my room?" He glares at me

what is he talking about. Why would he think I would do something like that. Is that what he thinks I did? wait.. does that mean he didn't call her? he seemed as surprised as me seeing her there. OMG.

He seems to notice the confusion in my face and starts to draw his own conclusions.

"Oh my God. Come with me..." He doesn't wait for me to agree and just grabs my hand and walks me to the lunch room stopping in front of a table where one his personal managers is working on his laptop. "Did you bring that girl into my room a couple of weeks ago?"

"Becca? Yeah, she called and I know you usually see her when we are in London so I just brought her in. Thought you might need some distraction." I'm surprised at how calmly and naturally he is talking about this. "Was everything okay? did you not have fun?"

"Don't bring or send any other girls into my room ever again." Jungkook's words were a command that made his manager look up and then look to where Jungkook's hand and mine were still attached. "Got it?"

"Yes of course." The manager's voice was pure confusion. He started to say something else but we walked away without hearing him.

Once outside in the corridor we stop walking and face each other.

"Nothing happened with her." I know he is telling the truth. "I wanted you. I always want you."

"I believe you, Kook." I really do. I pull my hand from his "But we can't do this. You have been dating super models and actresses. A listers. Us dating would be a scandal that could ruin your career."

"Fuck that. I want you. My fans are the best, they would support me. The only person that seems to need convincing is you." He grabs my hand and starts walking again, this time to the elevator, then to his floor and then his room where he shuts his door behind us.

"What are we doing here Kook?"

"Let me remind you of how good we are together." He says unbuttoning his shirt then taking it off and walking towards me while I walk backwards until hitting his bed. "Let me show you how good we fit together." He starts kissing my neck holding me in place with a hand around my neck and the other one is undoing my zipper and then pulling down my dress and happily noticing I haven't been wearing a bra.

His lips crash against mine passionately while his hands travel to my butt, he stops the kiss and kneels in front of me. Fuck. He is the most perfect man I have ever seen.

Looking up at me he starts to plant small kisses on my thighs and playing with the hem of my underwear. He moves to my core and kisses it through the lace before pulling down my underwear and going rough on my clit then moving his tongue around my folds. My knees weaken, this guy has many talents and this is gloriously one of the things he is best at.

My body starts trembling with my building orgasm and when I think he will slow down to torture me a bit like he usually likes to do, he goes rougher, making me come in an intense orgasm that would make me fall to my feet if he wasn't holding me.

Jungkook lets me fall gently into the bed while he stands to take his pants off, I can see his hard member bulging his jeans and when he frees it, my mouth waters with need. When our eyes meet I can see the heat in Jungkook's eyes and I know mine mirror the same need.

He gets on top of me and I open my legs for him. He rubs the tip of his cock on my folds then kisses me gently while pushing inside me. I missed him and by the sound he made, he missed me too!

"My God. You feel so good." Jungkook says while moving slowly, he looks like he is struggling to control himself, so I lift my hips to meet his showing him how much I need him too and luckily he takes the signal and gives in pumping harder into me.

We are all sweaty and still needy for each other but we are close, my skin is full with goosebumps. My ankles are on his shoulders and his eyes on me are making my skin burn, his pumps are starting to be rougher, I know how close he is and so am I. I stretch my hand towards my butt and grab his balls gently playing with them which earns me a grunt and a warning look from him. He kisses my ankle then letting my legs fall to his sides and bends to be face to face with me, allowing me to wrap my legs around him. He starts to pump even harder than before making my back curve, a few pumps later we are coming and ending in a mind blowing orgasm.

He kisses me softly in between pants "Perfect. Fucking. Fit." He gently plops on top of me and says "Let me know if you need any more convincing." I don't. But I will definitely ask for it.

A/N 2: If you guys have any requests please do let me know. I appreciate any support you can give me 💜

#fanfiction #bangtan #bts army #armysource #bts scenarios #bts smut #bts jungkook #jungkook x reader #golden maknae #jungkook smut #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenarios

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defrosted69 · 1 year ago

Text

A line Hook to you

(Danielle Marsh x Male Reader)

A/N: Its been a long time but here's something to you guys. Enjoy!

Note: 7k words

“The invisible string theory is the idea that the universe itself is stitched together with unseen threads, all of which lead us to our destinies.”

You sighed as you finally clocked out of work with your back aching with a pocking pain. Working on heavy machinery for a good 9 hour shift isn't really ideal for you body who's used to be so athletic and is used in locomotive motion. But time just keeps on going forward, not backward so changes will be applied in life. And before you know it, from writing and sleeping at the back of the class to having to deal in fixing heavy engines and inspecting them everyday to make sure they work properly.

"Why the long face? Come, The old guys are going for a drink tonight. You should come with Y/N"

A pat on the shoulder made you sighed as you heard his voice. Despite this heavy loaded schedule and work you had, there was always a friend that keeps you laughing and knows to make your frown upside down and uplift your spirits.

"Ah I'll pass this one Sunoo. Since tomorrow is Sunday, I'll enjoy my 1 day break"

"Oh Bummer. But I understand since I'll pass with them as well."

"Huh? How come?"

"The last time I joined them, they cause a ruckus in a bar. Remember how our pay got cutted because Boss preety much used our checks to pay up their damage."

You chuckled remembering that fragment of your memory like it was yesterday. It was quite funny because despite how Sunoo claim they are, they were actually great seniors to you. When you were still new to the company, they knew you lacked experience when it comes to the actual field so they were open to teaching you stuff you were confused with. And the funny thing is here is that you were above them when it comes to terms relating to work.

Cause you see, the seniors are all mechanics and car parts specialists but you on the other hand are their supervisor. You graduated in college with a degree in Mechanical Engineering and it wasn't that long when you landed a job in this medium sized delivery company. Of course they were first surprised to see that their supervisor was new and unexperienced but you gained their respect when you had to show them on solving a problem in the Pistons of the engine.

Pistons are one thing to fix but to make adjustments on the fly and make the engine working twice as powerful as before made their jaw at Awe. If most of of them before didn't believe in geniuses, we'll you just debunked their belief.

But since then, you had a good relationship with all of them and you got more wisdom from them since most of them are family oriented now and others have unique experiences that preety much makes you amazed and inspired by them.

"Well where you heading too then Sunoo?"

"Duh I'm gonna watch my Drama. That's the only reason why I have Netflix."

"Right. I completely forgot about that."

Kim Sunoo was your very loyal and emotional friend. Everyone in the company knows he's the golden retriever of the bunch since he's just all smiles especially most of the times. But don't let that distract you that he's one of the best employees the company has. Despite only finishing highschool, he worked hard to understand how the engine works and he had to prove everyone why he's also one of a kind. Despite the two of you being born in the same year, Sunoo has more experience and knowledge when it comes to the company and working experience.

But he is also an open armed person meaning he's not afraid to help you whenever you were need. There was a time your window in the apartment got cracked because of a storm, and you couldn't go to work. Sunoo came after the storm passing with tools for replacing windows and he actually gave you a free window without even costing you any expenses at all. All he wants was to see you at work since it's been a while since he's had someone his age to talk too.

"Well enjoy your stranger things drama or whatever it is. I'll see You at work on Monday man."

"Yeah Man see you in Monday."

He waved you goodbye as he went on the opposite of your direction of where you were going. The night was very chilly and the sky was clear as the day. Looking up, the moon was shining brightly with its stars twinkling next to it creating a perfect harmony in the sky. You were used to walking to your apartment since it's usually just 15 minute walk from home and you could admire the beauty of the building around and scenery.

But something had to ruin the beauty of what your eyes admire as couples walk past you showing their affection to their love one as if the sidewalk was their hallway to act all flirty with each other. You had no objection to people being extra PDA with each other since you'll be getting a good show but it just throw you off.

Perhaps since you've never had a female in your life, you've become the bitter old man who gets angry when youngsters and couples exhibit their love in front of you. It seemed like salt was thrown at you, as the cosmos is continuously reminding you of how lonely you are in this world. So taking deep breath, you decided to take a small detour and feed your stomach a bit after all, you didn't have proper lunch since the company cafeteria is serving nothing but sandwiches and energy drinks. And you were never a fan of energy drink especially after that small incident you had when you drinked an energy drink despite only having 2 hours sleep.

You really though you were gonna die when your heart felt heavy and you started breathing heavily. Luckily for you, that attack only lasted for 5 seconds before everything returned to normal but you were glad it didn't lead to something worse.

So after taking a detour of going to your favorite ramen shop, your stomach grumbled one more time reminding you to eat already or you might faint from starvation. Entering the place, there wasn't much people around since it was night time already which you preferred more than a jam packed day time. So ordering your usual bowl, you took your food to your favorite spot, near the window side on a single chair.

That place has hold a significant place in your heart because ever since Highschool that seat has always been your spot admiring the sunset, the cars, the people but more importantly, it's because that solo space gave you sanctuary to the problems of life.

So anticipating it to be unoccupied, you froze when your eyes saw a woman with a smirk showing how proud she was in her position as she spoke.

"I knew you would be here. The Invisible string really is true!"

You were confused at to what she was saying yet she smiled and stood up and immediately taking over your personal space as she got close to you with her eyes glittering like stars.

"I meant to say is that fate us brought us here together. Because I need your signature right here"

She pointed with her pen a piece of paper in a clipboard which had a few signature of some people as well but, it was smudged and the paper looked like it was dried from air after being soaked in water.

"Is this paper dried up?"

"Ohh eer… Dont mind that. Just sign it please. For my extra credit in college. Pleeese Mr. Pleeeese."

She began begging you like a wild Woman as other people anf some staff look at the two of you weirdly. Thier Stares somewhat made you feel embarrassed of her so without even hesitation, you signed whatever was in that clipboard hoping to end this already. Once you wrote down your signature and name, she smiled brightly and giggled cutely.

"Thank you Mr. I'm sure I'll see you again in the sidewalk. See you next week again. Bye bye Mister~"

She happily waved at you and giggled her way away of the restaurant leaving you perplexed and with so many questions than answers.

"Who the heck is she?"

Danielle extended her arms out and giggled joyfully as the sun caressed her face. She was overjoyed once again since she would finally receive additional credit for her completed assignment. That signature from last night was what she needed the most since she was finally able to obtain 100 signatures on her paper, which wasn't easy given the time constraint their professor had set. 5 days to get 100 signatures isn't as easy as it seems. So she was pleased to receive her final signature from someone she knows well.

After doing her usual morning routines, Danielle smiled happily as she leaves her dorm with a sense of happiness amd joy filling her body right now. The sky was clear and the air was perfect for her for a walk so with that she did. She began walking to her university humming her favorite song along the way. The common sidewalk that she has been walking was so colorful in her eyes right now and everything was so just blooming.

"What a wonderful day to eh mate?"

She asked herself as she giggled to herself. Yet among the busy people walking tbe familiar sidewalk, her eyes were looking for a guy who she was very thankful since the first day of her college days. As she keeps looking for that man, from a far and from someone's perspective, she looked like a mole appearing in and out of the crowd of people trying to look for you.

That's right, there was a reason why she waited for you at that restaurant last night although it was mostly just her guess and it was completely coincidental that the events unfolded that night. Never in a million years would she would have known that the stars aligned just to answer her wish to make her last signature poetic. She betted on herself that someone special will sign the last space on her paper and boy was she right.

At the very last second, just when she just admitted that everything isn't a fairy tale and her stupid brain admitted that ideal scenarios will come to reality was a slap and a wake up call for her. But you pulled at the very last second and helped her once again. Just remembering the first interaction you had with her made her blush and squeal in delight which earned a few confused and weird looks from the people.

"Shit. I'm public I forgot.."

Danielle giggled as she continued her walk to university. Although she didn't see you today, she understands that you would have left your place earlier considering your a working adult and she's just a college student yet, in her eyes and brain, she's as equal to your status in society which further more pushes her agenda that the invisible string theory exist. Because there must be some kind of connection in which you would be a part of her huge life. After all, Your first encounter with her was during her first time being in the city.

Being a college student means that you have to choose a college to go to and unfortunately for her, her desired course was far away from her city and her family. And of course, that sucks and is hard to understand but Danielle knew that this was a huge chapter of her life and as much as she didn't want to get away from the hugs of her parents, she had to let go of the meantime and travel to an another city with no friends, no nothing at her silos disposals.

She was starting at level 0 where everything had reseted for her but that didn't stopped her to be productive and she continued to encourage herself everyday that what she's doing is the best for her family and for herself. Life may be hard but you have to got an iron will to keep up with the waves of life and keep on moving forward with a stronger resolve to finish college.

Now is where her first encounter with you was. She wasn't sure if you had remember it but you were the guy who picked up her wallet when she had dropped it on the sidewalk where you and her were usually walking. Although she was to be blamed of why she had let go of her wallet because, she choose to admire than to keep her valuable in check within her reach. Honestly, the moment she realized her wallet was gone from her elbow immediately made her feel a cold shiver down her neck.

Everything she needs in collage allowances was in that wallet filling with bank cards and IDs for her to use in public to identifying her. But more importantly she didn't want a handful of earing coming from her sister about her losing her Wallet. But as soon as she turned around, you stood there returning her wallet back at her.

There was this weird trait for Danielle in where she remembers the people's face of those who showed her kindness so it wasn't such a suprise why she would remember you but if she recalled your reaction the other night, she knew she fucked up big time and leaving a good impression of her.

"Gaahh! Why did I spew that nonsense infront of him!"

Daneille ruffled her hair in embarrassment and irritation from herself for acting like a complete fool to the person…

She might have caught feelings for.

In Danielle's defense for this such claims is that she is attracted to people who shows her kindness even if it's just a small one. So despite meeting you before, Her total times of meeting you was 3 times in total considering the other night. Since the guys who were nice to her was absolutely no one. She was often mocked for being an aussie or her accent was made off back in middle school. They weren't that rampant back in high school yet as time moves forward, that claims are now reversed.

"Morning Dani. Did we sleep well?"

Lily Morrow asked her friend who wore a bright proud smile as she walks with Danielle to campus. Hearing her voice snapped her in her characther emission fantasy about which you were glad because everyone in school would know how much of an idiot she is sometimes.

"I slept well. I'm sure I'll get my credit today hehe."

Danielle smiled brightly as the two of then catches up their weekend drama as Danielle happily explained to Lily what she felt during that time as Lily was on full mode listening to every details eh spoke out off. But as soon as that was done, Danielle proceed to the teachers office as Lily went to attend her class. Danielle carefully knocked before entering the room where her professor was waiting for her.

"Ah Ms. Marsh. I assume you brought in your task I have given you?"

"Yes sir."

Danielle pulled out her clipboard along with it was the signed paper yet it didn't take 10 seconds, her progress was returned to her. And that slowly made her confidence shatter into millions of pieces.

"I'm sorry Ms. Marsh but I can't accept this paper."

"But sir, I completed the 100 signatures under 5 days."

Her professor sighed as He knew this was the reaction of Danielle once he rejected her paper. It's not that like her report was not significant to her course but what irks him, was how obvious that her paper had gotten wet or soaked to be more exact.

"I know Ms. Marsh but you gotta understand. Your already in your 3rd year and yet you can't understand simple instructions. I had given you a clean paper to work on and you returned it to me like a wet Wipes dried up?"

"But sir-"

"I don't wanna hear it but I'll give you on last chance to get that extra credit you want."

Danielle was now in full effect to listening to her professor because she needs to pass this subject without enrolling it next semester. It would be such a waste of time and year of she didn't take college seriously.

" I'm gonna give you another paper but this time it's only 75 person BUT, I need you to pass this in Wednesday."

Danielle widen her eyes knowing that getting 75 signatures in 3 days isn't gonna be easy since her college schedule for this semester was absolute trash. But if it means to pass this subject she would do it. So Danielle accepted it and he handed her a new copy. She thanked him as once she leaves the room, Danielle let out a frustrated groan from her as her task was easy enough yet hard to execute.

Although she still has 2 days to work on it and she could easily fill in that 75 person mark, the requirement for that is people outside of the campus and not students. She wouldn't break a sweat if it was just students since it would be very easy. But for strangers? It might be very difficult for her considering that she doesn't know strangers at all and sometimes they could have intentions and very bad at one.

"What do I do?"

The sun was slowly shining down as you clocked out earlier today. It was quite a suprise for everyone when the boss announced that today would be an early work off day since he had something to do. It was very odd since Mondays are usually a busy day at the company with a lot of the trucks being used as transport for its services. But if it means more time for you to relax and sleep in your bed.

Yes, the bed is your best place to relax and just forget about the reality of things especially in the adult world. Rest is the most important factor because it's an escape for you from all the troubles of society and life itself.

Upon changing into your casual wear, Sunoo got your attention once again as he smiled at you.

"Whats your plan now? It's still quite early."

"Bed."

"Why? You wanna watch porn or something?"

"Nah I just love sleeping."

Sunoo nodded his head in understanding but you can tell from his body language that he was itching to tell you something so not wanting to make him look like a fool anymore, you decide to break his bubble.

"What? What are you trying to tell me?"

Sunoo chuckled in embarrassment as he got caught by your keen observation but then again, that's what makes you stand out from the rest of the guys working in the company and its the reason why your his supervisor. Your eyes always managed to observe every small detail and remembers them which leads to new adjustment and improvement of the engine. And mind you, it's no ordinary engine, it's a truck engine. Those who big and carry a lot of horse power.

"Well you see. My friend hooked me up and he said we need a third player and I was thinking you-"

"Pass."

"Okay."

Sunoo gave up now. Once you set your decision on one thing it means you wouldn't change your perspective on that decision. And he knows your not into relationship as of the moment as far as he knows. But that thought made him question you.

"Say Y/N, why don't you go on a date now? I mean your finished in college right? You have a good job now so why not right?"

"I don't think I'm ready for it. The responsibility of taking care of someone is a Challange especially since I can't even take care of myself."

Although the real reason why you don't want a girlfriend right now is because you thought you don't deserve to be loved after all, one rejection back in the past really pushed you way back into not stepping into the world of romance. The pain of rejection and seeing that girl choose the wrong girl will never be not funny and painful for you.

"I guess your right. But there's nothing wrong in at least trying something new right?"

"It's not new to me, I already have been in that position before."

"Then why stop at one and live a life of repeating cycle when you can add new things in your cycle of life."

You wanted to speak up but you decided to take in what Sunoo said. There was no hint of any lies in his words as they were all pointing at you about your daily life. Yes it was a repeating cycle of sleep-work-eat-repeat and that's it. Nothing was really getting in between your daily cycle of life which was kinda boring in a sense.

But boring life is what you have been accustomed to and somewhat that's what you like to live in. But is that all there is in your life now since your really crossing the late 20s now. At the age of 25 where many people get married and have a family, your still wondering what your life's purpose is. As you walk the familiar street towards you apartment, the question still lingered on your head.

What do you really wanna do?

A simple question yet it has so many possible wrong answers depending on how you read into it. For you, you definetly have no proper answer at all to that question because you yourself was finding that purpose since College and even now, that you have a proper job, that question still lingering on your mind and time wasn't helping you since people your age have already figured out their path in life. Yet for you, you were still trying to pick up the pieces together and look for that glue that connects everything together yet, you couldn't find it.

Sighing was the only response you could get out of your problem but your bubble of thoughts were popped open when you heard a soft voice of sobbing and sniffing from someone. Of course your not that person to mind someone's business but when your eyes landed on the side and saw a familiar girl with her head down, back reciprocating in a deep breathing motion, and her hands cover her eyes. You just sighed at the scene.

Your legs wanted to keep moving forward and ignore her but the voice of Sunoo once again entered your brain. Will you be stuck to mediocrity forever in your life? Will you never cross that path of change that is really needed in your life right now?

"You alright Miss?"

Taking a huge step forward, you kneel down on her level and what you saw is something you didn't know would happen. Danielle literally looked at you with tears and snott coming out of her nose as if she just had the biggest heartbreak of her life. Her mascara was all smudge down on her eyes and it was preety disastrous seeing her Iike this. But one part of you wanted to laugh at her face right now but you took every ounce of your spiritual being not to laugh at her and try to understand her situation.

"M-Mister? The guy from the ramen restaurant? The one I always see in this sidewalk?"

"Yeah but how come I have many nicknames?"

Danielle sat up as you handed her your handkerchief thinking she would wipe her tears away but no, she used it to blow off the snot she had and that made you froze up. She cleaned her nose and felt her cheeks blushing red mad after realizing what she has done.

"Oh no I didn't mean to make your handkerchief all disgusting. I'll.. Umm.. I'll wash it for you."

Danielle began to panic as she didn't know what she would do since she didn't want to look like a complete fool to you after all. You saw the panic in her eyes which was a little puffy from all her crying. After snapping out of your shocked state, you shook your head.

"No need. It's fine, I mean handkerchief are used for wiping stuff anyway."

"Naur but still. I'll wash it for you. As an Aussie, I promise to make it smelling like a jasmine flower."

"You don't have too."

"Naur I'll-"

GRUMBLE

A large lion roared in her belly and as you look at Danielle's face, the color red slowly took over her face as she looked away covering her face and groaning in embarrassment. There's was no way this day could have gotten worse in Danielle's books but it just got worst. The last on her list is to embarrass herself to someone she looks up and this was a sign that today wasn't her day.

You chuckled at her stomach and your laugher was the hidden laughter that you have been keeping since earlier after seeing her face. Danielle immediately looked back at you with a glare which you immediately stopped your laughing but her glaring and with a few tears was amusing to look at. Maybe a little to adorable in your book.

"Stop laughing!"

"I'm sorry the timing was just to perfect. I'm sorry."

But despite your words, you still couldn't control your laughing and this only made Danielle form more tears in her eyes and seeing her glaring while her lips quivering being mad, embarrassed and sad made you shut up at your action.

"Okay I'll stop. Sorry"

You were genuinely apologizing for your action yet Danielle continued to pout glaring at you trying to intimidate you which is failing exponentially because all this is doing is letting you see an adorable Australian pout cutely at you because she doesn't know how to get mad to people. Knowing that she won't stop pouting and glaring at you, you had to take an action to this one.

"Alright. Let's get something to eat instead so your stomach doesn't roar anymore and perhaps we can talk there about what bothering you. Is that fine with you?"

Danielle didn't reply to you but nodded her head. So taking that as her answer you stood up from the bench with Danielle trailing behind you. Honestly speaking, most people would have just ignored her or to be exact, Danielle should be calling for the police or be at least questioning your true intentions to her but no she didn't. And that though in turns question you why Danielle, trust a stranger like you because as far as you can remember, you don't know her at all except the other night where you first met her, in that restaurant.

But as you were thinking about Danielle, She was silently wiping her makeup and adding new ones. She pulled out her lip tint and applied it on her lips by a small portion. Next she made sure her eyelashes stand out and adding a few blush and powder on her face was the final touch. Using her phone camera as her mirror, she smirked seeing how preety she is as she knows she needs to look preety infront of you right now. Because we don't know when will be the next time you two will meet like this.

Upon arriving at the Restaurant you ordered your favorite meal as you turned back to ask her about her dish.

"So What do you want-"

You got cut off by your own words as Danielle looked nothing like what you saw earlier. Infront of you was a beautiful woman who shined bright as the sun. Her sweet smile was so warm and her headband was the icing on the top as you stood there not knowing what to say next.

"Hmm? I'll have what you have hehe."

She smiled and turned her to the side which really made you stare at her for a good while before the cashier snapped you out of your trance. You order two of what you were having as you paid and choose a seat for the two of you. Unlike before, when you would just sit alone in your favorite place, you have to look for a new place since you have company.

"Let's sit there."

You looked at her a bit shocked because the place she picked for the two of you to sit was where you always sit. Danielle grabbed an extra chair and sat opposite to you smiling happily. It felt weird having to share a seat with someone when you were usually alone in that seat. But nevertheless, you sat down as well on your favorite seat.

"So what made you like a mess earlier?"

You spoke up first trying to break the ice between you two as Danielle spoke up.

"Ugh just my signature getting rejected"

"Huh. Was it that the paper I signed the other night soaked?"

"Hehehe."

Danielle scratched the back of her head guilty of what she did as you sighed and Chuckled a bit. No wonder you found the quality of the paper before weird. It was soaked the dried up quickly.

"So what are you doing now?"

"Well now I have to do another one. But only 75 people signature this time and it's due on Wednesday"

"Oh so your boss needs it?"

"Boss? Naur my professer need it."

"Naur? You australian?"

"Yeet."

You smiled by her energetic response as the two of you shared a laughter together. This was quite a surprise for you because unlike a few of those times when meeting a new person, it was always about business and there was no feeling or sense of friendship that could brew between yet with Danielle, there was no such thing like that. It felt like you have known her since you were in highschool. An old friend kind of vibe.

"Can I see those papers miss…"

"Danielle! Danielle Marsh. 22 years old, college student studying management… And hopefully the one you call baby girl.."

Danielle mumbled the last part and you didn't even get a whip of what she said in the last line because Danielle quickly showed her the papers in which your attention went through.

True to her words, it did need 75 signature from strangers and somehow you felt bad for her knowing she had limited time to do this task. Then a light bulb of an idea popped into your head but will you really take that risk of getting out of your comfort zone to help someone?

Once again, the words of Sunoo echoed in your head making you choose the light bulb of your idea. It will be risky but at this point, you just trusted your guts and went with it.

"I'll help you out. By tomorrow afternoon this should be all signed up."

Danielle gasped covering her mouth with her hands as she couldn't believe your making a move on her. As crazy as it sounds, to Danielle's checklist, this was her first strike that the guy was perfect for her. Of course you didn't know this as you read her expression as shocked but what you didn't know was that she gasped because she thought you were making a move on her by helping her.

"R-Really? You'll help me?"

"Yeah sure since my last signature was wasted. I want it this time to be for good use."

"Oh thank you so much.. Err…"

"Y/N. Just call me Y/N"

"Thank you Y/N."

Out of nowhere, Danielle stood up and hugged you with her face deep in your chest. That action made your heart race so fast as you were sure Danielle could hear it. You were about to push her away when a sudden calmness washed over you when you saw Danielle looking up to you sweetly. It really felt weird seeing someone like her keep you so calm and relaxed without even trying. Add in her cute smile and eyes that see your reflection.

True to your words, you managed to get 75 signature from everyone in the company. You even got your boss to sign because Sunoo told everyone a fake lie. Sunoo must have heard it wrong but in reality, he heard it correctly. You were trying to help Danielle with her signature and he began spreading the word that you helping your secret girlfriend in college and everyone ended up signing it so fast to the point your boss even gave you his blessing.

Of course this made you a little annoyed how they signed it just to show their support for you but that also makes you happy that the people your working with was supportive of you. And perhaps it could also be a sign they want you to have a girlfriend already. So since you already have Danielle's contact on your phone you called her and not even a second in she already answered it in a heartbeat.

You told her that you'll be meeting her in the bench on the familiar sidewalk to which she agreed upon. So as the time to leave for work had arrive, you excused yourself to leave early which your boss was all okay about it. So you left work not even realizing your still wearing your work polo with the logo of your company on it. You sat there waiting for Danielle and it didn't take long before Danielle arrived.

Her bright smile once again shined as you couldn't get enough of her smiling beauty.

"Heyya Y/N, you look like a hard working man hehe~"

You blushed in embarrassment realizing that you were still in your work polo as you chuckled about it. Usually you would just brush off the compliment but when it comes to Danielle, somehow those compliments hit your heart in a bullseye accuracy.

"Oh.. Umm thanks Danielle. Ah right, here's the paper"

You handed her her project and truth be told, you did keep your promise as Danielle look so shocked and happy upon seeing the Paper filled with signatures.

"You really did do it! Thank you so much!!"

Danielle leaped unto you forcing you to catch her in your arms as she hugged you tightly. You were already blushing because this is the second time you hugged her and it felt so right to have her in your arms. She giggled as she buried her face on your chest and you really didn't want to let her go but it would very awkward to just keep on hugging her this long. So as you were letting her go, Danielle felt your arms getting loose so she hugged you tighter hoping you would get the signal that she didn't want you to let her go. She didn't care if she wanted to be clingy, because she IS clingy.

"Who said you can let go? Hmph! Meanie.."

Danielle looked up at you with a pout as you chuckled and sigh as you decided to hug her again. And just like that, Danielle was once again happy.

"I need to repay you somehow Y/N."

"You don't have to Danielle It's fine."

"Naur it's not. You helped me alot. I know, I'll make you lunch from now on and you can't say Naur okay?"

"But-"

She placed a finger on your mouth shutting you up as she giggled and smiled.

"Please? Preety pleaseeee?"

"Well I guess that wouldn't hurt."

"Yeet!"

Danielle giggled as she once again buried her face on your chest and at this point, you were getting accustomed to her Being a clingy girl and a sweet sunshine.

Waking up to get to work again wasn't something new you to yet this time it felt more postive in a sense your actually eager to work today. There was that postive aura around you right now and you couldn't help but smile as you looked at yourself in the mirror looking alright. You checked your watch as you stepped out of the door, only to be greeted by ms. Sunshine.

"Morning Y/N. I made you lunch as I promised hehehe~"

Danielle was holding a packed lunch but what caught your eye was her wearing an apron in her clothes and it looked like she just went to a slug fest with so many stains all over her apron. You felt a huge burning sensation growing up your cheeks as you felt embarrassed and happy by her gesture.

"You didn't have too Danielle. I told you I don't-"

Danielle got up close to you placing a finger up your mouth shutting you up as she giggled and puffed her cheeks.

"I told you didn't I? I promised to make you lunch until then. So just please accept it."

Knowing that she went through hell to make you a lunch box and it shows in her apron and in her hands because there are 4 bandaids in her fingers which she was trying to hide under the lunch box. Seeing her and the fact she mafe effort for you just show how serious she is when it comes to keeping her word so you accepted it. And boy the way your fingers brushed against her, Danielle's cheeks burned red and her heart rushed so fast.

"Thanks Danielle. I'm sure I'll enjoy it."

"Hehehe~ Goodluck at work today."

She waved goodbye at you waved back and walked towards your workplace. As you walk your mind couldn't believe that you actually got a free lunch and you didn't have to suffer from the horrible lunch at work and not to disrespect the lunch lady there, but the food they are serving their are so limited and so small. Yes it's delicious but the portion is so small your stomach would be asking for more. So having a packed lunch from someone isn't just a good reason to avoid the cafeteria at work but it also means that someone cares for you.

And immediately that thought made you smile a little and blush as you couldn't believe your own thoughts.

"Gosh what are you doing to me Danielle."

As you look at the packed lunch you saw a sticky note on the top of the cover that says

"You need a lot of vitamin ME"

Which made you chuckle in amusement by her Witty jokes and it was the perfect quote to start the day ahead of you. And this continued on as Danielle continued to make you lunch every morning with witty jokes which are subtle hints of her feelings for you such as the quotes like:

"I am yours, No refund"

"You must be a camera because you make me smile"

"You know it's hard to find a girl who's so smart, cute, preety and top it all, an aussie. So don't Lose me got it mate?"

And there is one quote which really was your favorite of them all as it says:

"Don't you look away, don't pass me by Anything you want, babe, tell me what do you need"

Danielle knew that sending that quote was risky but she was ready to risk it all for you and when you read that quote your heart raced and a huge blush appear on your face. You usually sit away from the crowd in the cafeteria since you got lunch from Danielle and you didn't want to make any rumors about your life and you didn't want anyone to know about Danielle. Except for one guy.

"Gotcha you bastard. Who packed you lunch huh?"

Sunoo finally caught gist of you as you usually spend lunch with him so when you started to isolate from him, he began to raise an eyebrow and this only made him more believe that your doing something fishy which he believes is related to your relationship status. And he could be right.

"Wh-what are you talking about?"

"Don't lie, you can't cook shit. So who made you lunch? Your girlfriend?"

"I don't have a-"

"Or perhaps your dating someone?"

"I don't-"

"You like her don't you?"

"I…. I….. Yeah.. I think I have fallen for Danielle"

"Wait.. Wait so you DO have someone?!"

Sunoo couldn't believe it. His theory was proven right and your walls just crumbled and it was all Danielle's fault. She broke that protective wall of yours that you kept away from romance yet Danielle, pushed through and got it broken down. Her efforts didn't go in vain because you noticed it upon yourself too.

"So the reason you work so hard and happy was because of her dude?"

"Am I really showing happiness at work?"

"Duh. You have been more brighter for the past few weeks compared to the last few months or even when you started here. You were so non chalant and bland yet now, you seem to be shining brightly."

Danielle's bright personality has finally rubbed into you as you couldn't believe the postive impact she has brought upon you and to others.

"But what if she hates me or-"

"Dude, she made you lunch just once?"

"No she's been making me lunch for the past few weeks."

"Fucking marry her and don't ever let her go dipshit."

Sunoo shook you as he said this and you decided to take his words once again. Danielle has nothing but sweet and a ball of sunshine for you. Your usual cycle of repeating boring process has come to an end with Danielle now in that mix. Everyday seems so enjoyable now and you look forward to it more than before.

But are you really ready to take that risk to love again? Will it finally clicked this time and wouldn't end in vain? This questions has been running rampant on your mind as the day goes by. The moment you clocked out of work, you saw the sunset setting and you took in all what have happened for the past few weeks and there you already found your answer.

Just as the universe seems to be setting you up, you got a messaged from Danielle that says,

"I made you dinner. I made too much earlier Lol"

The perfect scenario was upon you and a sudden hit of nostalgia rushed in your mind making you smile a little but instead of leaving in pain, you were optimistic something good was gonna happen so you rushed out of the company wearing your suit and the winds pass you by.

Danielle on the other hand was patiently waiting infront of your door with a bowl and a sticky note which was her last. Because today she was gonna do it. She had consoled Lily about today and it was the day of confession. Her heart couldn't keep it in anymore as it just screams your name everytime she sees you or everytime she makes you lunch. She needs to let her heart speak now and that last sticky note is the last one that speaks her heart.

But she didn't have to wait long as you walked up the stairs and there she stood and as if she was in a painting, the sunset behind her gave her the perfect complimentary to her beauty as ger white Capri sun dress and twin tails just makes so picture perfect. You Stared at her in Awe for a couple of seconds before walking up to her quite nervous and scared. Scared that history may repeat itself again.

"Hey Danielle. That's a huge pot."

"Oh right sorry I made too much earlier. Hehehe."

Her sweet smile really got you smiling and attracted to her and you wished this girl would be in your arms right now. But how will you pull the trigger on what you wanted to say? Anxiety was slowly beginning to creep up to you and it makes you so-

"Ah, I have one last note for you Y/N."

"Last note?"

Danielle nodded and that made you feel so sad and devastated. It felt like the ride was about to end with her and you would go back to your usual boring repetitive cycle. Danielle turned the cover of the pot with the note that says..

"Baby your my special one, cause you're the one I like"

Danielle stared right straight into your eyes not wanting you break eye contact because tonight was gonna be big for her. Her heart was racing quick and her hands were sweating but she took one deep breath as she let her heart do the talking.

"Y/N. You have been such a great person to me. You have helped me a lot of times now and I really am thankful for that. I thought I was crazy at first but I didn't expect that the person I fell in love with was within my view all this time."

You stayed silent listening to her as your heart was pounding so fast.

"We walk the same sidewalk everyday yet before I wasn't aware of you but ever since I saw you, my eyes was all locked in you. Because in that sea of people, I only have my eyes set on you."

"So before I… Before we have our… Meal.. Which I hope is not the last time we see each other because I don't want to make things awkward.. Umm.. I.. I.. I just wanna say-"

"Yeah I fell for you too Danielle. A lot."

"I love you-Wait what?"

You stunned Danielle so fast her eyes went so wide like the sunset as you chuckled at her reaction. Hearing her words was enough to confirm that your heart and her heart screamed the same song called love.

"My life has always been a repeating a cycle but I thought that was enough for me. Until you came into my life and change that. Everyday I See a reason to keep me smiling and motivated to work because you, you Danielle make my world so bright."

Danielle just stared at you with the most loving look as if she was ready to melt under your touch and you decided to do just that. You cup her cheeks and kissed her forehead and said the words that stopped Danielle.

"I love you Danielle."

As soon as those words was spoken Danielle placed the pot on the floor let and hugged you tightly and began bombarding your cheeks with kisses.

"You don't know how much I was holding myself to not kiss your cheeks. Now I can kiss you as much as I can. Hehe~"

You laughed whole heartedly as you let Danielle kiss your cheeks so much as you really felt the love coming from her. Despite having a painful memory of heartbreak, Danielle was the reminder that change is the only permanent thing in the world. But more importantly, Love wins all.

"You know my co-workers will be shocked that your in college."

"Naur they won't. Besides, My friends will be proud I have such a working adult boyfriend. Who will understand my craziness."

"Oh believe me, I have seen more crazier things Danielle."

"Prove it to me babe. Hehe~"

With a smirk, you carried Danielle, princess style making her blush and laugh as you two entered your apartment but aside from being so happy where the strings between you two has finally connected, the pot of food was left outside.

#kpop fanfic #fluff #newjeans danielle #newjeans #fanfiction

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lincolndjarin · 1 year ago

Text

Every Now and Then - ch. one

[ I Dream of Something Wild ]

pairing : joel miller x f!reader, platonicsoulmate!tommy & f!reader

word count : 6.4k

summary : Joel Miller destroyed you. He loved you, then he left, leaving you in the New York City, QZ. But he's a good southern gentleman, so of course he didn't leave you without a reminder of the time you spent together. Four years later you're living in Jackson, in a lovely little ranch house. (With your reminder.) The last person you want to see is Joel Miller, unfortunately you've never been particularly lucky.

tags/warnings : 18+ mdni, angst, canon typical violence, injury, language, manipulation, joel takes advantage of readers situation, eventual smut, no use of y/n, no physical description of reader, she is picked up by joel at one point but i'm a firm believer that he's strong enough to lift any one who may find themselves in the pov of our reader, joel is possessive and controlling, dark!joel miller in a sense?? like he's not really dark now but he's going to be, multiple time lines, not canon compliant, mentions of prostitution, i sorta made up my own timeline, i probs missed tags sorry!!

a/n : i really need to fix my writing schedule so i'm hoping that having a new fic to put my energy into is going to help!! also sorry if this chapter doesn't have much going on i need to set up a lot of stuff but i promise more action in future chapters

ao3 .𖥔 ݁ ˖ series masterlist .𖥔 ݁ ˖ main masterlist .𖥔 ݁ ˖ kofi

He crept up on you like the shadows as the sun sets in the west. An all encompassing darkness that blotted out the sun until all that was left was night. He sunk his claws into you so deep that your eyes adjusted to the dark, and you didn’t even realize how much time had passed until you shrunk away from the inevitable sunrise that made him cower away from the dawn as if he never really was big and scary.

And in the light of day you saw him for what he really was.

He was just a man, who was once a boy, who was scared of the dark.

So he made himself big, and terrifying, and he grew so accustomed to the thing he once feared that the very idea of anything else made him recoil.

You feel something akin to pity when you think of him now. That doesn’t mean you forgive him, but when you can stomach it you try to, for the sake of your peace. You’d probably be happier if you could just forgive him.

But you can’t.

So you don’t.

It’s hard when his own blood doesn’t think he’s a good man. Tommy was afraid of him. Terrified at the very thought of his big brother. You can recall several nights where you had woken up to him screaming in the sleeping bag beside you, absolutely petrified of a memory that had inevitably snuck in through the darkness. You never feared him quite like that, but seeing the effect he has on Tommy makes your stomach churn, a painful reminder of your own suffering.

Most of the time it’s easier to just not think of him at all, despite the reminders he’s branded into you forever. You ignore him when he tries to soak back into your very being, but at the end of the day he’s unavoidable. You see him in the dark brown eyes of others, hear him in Tommy’s southern drawl, taste him when you have the occasional sip of whiskey. He tries and tries relentlessly to worm his way back into you, but you never let him. You put up walls and you focus on other things, anything, that isn’t Joel Miller. And even though you can’t forget him entirely you manage to ignore the memory of the man you once loved for several years.

Until one day it’s impossible to keep the thought of him away.

Until he himself makes it impossible.

Then - NEW YORK CITY, QUARANTINE ZONE : 2019

“Stay off of it or you’re going to lose it.”

That’s what the QZ doctor had told you. A couple weeks of bed rest was the most he could offer when you came to him with your broken ankle.

A couple weeks without working is a death sentence.

If you don’t work you won’t be able to afford food. And you don’t have anybody to fall back on, no family, no friends, not even an acquaintance to borrow funds from.

Lose your leg or starve.

As appealing as it sounds, starvation isn’t an option, too painful.

So you have to work. The only issue with that is you’ve been blacklisted, the stupid doctor had you put on a no-shift list. You beg them to let you work, you’ll do anything, but they never budge.

You only have enough ration cards stocked up to make it to the end of the week so you have to consider your other options. You could sell yourself. It certainly isn’t uncommon and the money’s good but it’s too dangerous, especially if you can’t run on your leg. You’ve seen too many people get hurt in that profession to risk it. You don’t have a trade. You’re terrible at sewing, you can’t cook, there isn’t a need for much of anything else and you own nothing valuable.

So there’s only one other option for you.

You steal.

You dress inconspicuously, in your only pair of jeans and a plain shirt, both of which are getting rather tattered at this point but you have nothing else. With your jacket on you pull up your hood and you do the exact thing you aren’t supposed to do, and you walk.

The conditions in the QZ are poor enough that your limp doesn’t stand out. You walk up and down the streets all day, slow and steady, with your head down and you don’t take risks. You don’t take anything big or obvious, just little things. A single ration card peeking out of a pocket, a pocket knife off a vendor's table, stale bread, set away from the good stuff where no one is looking. And you return home each night with your pockets full and your leg aching.

By the end of your second week you’re still barely scraping by but you’re managing. What little ration cards you manage to snatch you use to buy food, but it’s still nothing compared to what you’re used to making. Your ankle feels worse by the day.

You need more.

You need to find a source of income that will let you rest or you’re going to lose your leg, which will leave you in an even worse position. It isn’t until you hear your neighbor slam his door that you come up with an idea.

Your neighbor probably has more cards than he knows what to do with, and he’s always coming and going so he probably wouldn’t even notice if you skimmed a little off the top. Nothing substantial, just enough to keep you going and give your leg time to heal.

The only problem is your neighbors reputation.

You doubt you’d have much of a chance of surviving him if you got caught. Joel Miller was a bit of an urban legend around the QZ. Of course you only knew him as your stoic neighbor, just a guy who didn’t make a lot of noise and came home at strange hours, and sometimes disappeared for days at a time.

But everyone else acted as if he was some kind of Boogey Man. You didn’t see him much in the streets but when you did children ran and people whispered, and while you had no knowledge of how he earned that reputation you knew it probably wasn’t pretty.

So you’d have to be careful.

He’s gone now, you’d heard him stopping down the hall so you decide it couldn’t hurt to take a peek, just scout out the area.

You climb out onto the fire escape, your leg aching as you do, and you use the dull little knife you’d stolen a few days ago to shimmy open his window lock. It slides open pretty easily, he’s probably rather confident that nobody would ever mess with him so he doesn’t seem to have the usual precautions taken to protect his belongings.

Lucky you.

Stepping into the room you wince as you land on your bad leg, stumbling onto the floor, knocking a board loose in the process.

“Shit.” You groan, sitting up quickly, trying to put everything back in its proper place when you catch a glimmer of something under the floor.

A revolver.

You shouldn’t be here. Joel Miller is a dangerous man, you knew that but you did this anyway, you can’t help but feel incredibly stupid as you stare at the weapon. You feel so stupid that you don’t even hear the click of a lock. You don’t even bother with the ration cards you can see peeking out from under the gun, you just want to leave and forget that you ever thought this was a good idea. It’s a struggle, getting back to your feet, your leg is throbbing, begging for a rest you can’t afford to take right now. With a groan you push the window open, eager for this silly idea to be over you try to figure out the best way to go about this. You’re starting to lose feeling in your leg, should you go bad leg first or try to balance on it while shimmying the rest of your body out the window?

You never get to decide what the best course of action is because your head is slammed against the wall, your knees crumple underneath you as you hit the floor, the room spinning as your leg bends at an angle that makes you shriek. You slap your hand over your mouth but it’s far too late for that. He’s been here the whole time. It’s dark but you can still make out the foreboding shape of his figure. The broad shouldered beast that’s glaring down at you, his boot nudging your chin roughly as you bite back a shriek of fear.

“I could report you to FEDRA for this.” The gruff voice whispers into the darkness.

You’re desperate to avoid lockup, you know you’ll die in there, or worse. Although you’re not entirely sure what’s going to happen to you either way.

“I- I’ll tell them about your contraband.” You point frantically at the loose floor board. “They’ll lock you up too.” His glare is unwavering as he stares down at you. You’re a little worried that he might just kill you himself, there would be no consequences, no one would be looking for you.

No one would look for you.

The thought makes you shudder and even though you try to stop yourself you feel your eyes beginning to water. You hear footsteps, watching his outline move across the room before you’re shrinking away from the light of a dim lamp in the corner.

“You gotta be real dumb to find yourself in this situation.” He mutters, turning back around to stare at you. His gaze makes you want to cover yourself up, it’s like he can see every single part of you within that icy glare. You’ve never taken the time to really, truly look at him before but you do now, after all this might be your last chance to look at anything at all.

He isn’t a terrible last sight.

Sure, he’s ominous enough to make you want to try and run despite the ache in your calf right now, but that doesn’t make him any less handsome. In a rugged, weathered sort of way. He’s older than you thought, gray sprinkled throughout the mess of curls framing his face. What a nice face it is. Soft where it needs to be soft, sharp where it needs to be sharp. He marches back over to you, easily taking the pocket knife from your hand and crouching down in front of you.

“Give me one good reason not to finish you off right now.” He points the blade in the direction of your leg. “Seems like it’d be a mercy at this point.”

Maybe he’s right.

Maybe it would be a mercy to just let him put you out of your misery. Why have you been fighting so hard? You can’t seem to recall a reason other than the fact that that’s what you’re supposed to do. Your mind tells you that you’re supposed to keep fighting but you can’t think of a single driving force. You’re in pain, constantly, you live in a world that wants you dead, and you have no one relying on you.

You don’t have a good reason, other than the fact that surviving is all you know how to do. So you look up at him and you nod. Taking in the sight of the pretty, frightening man one last time before closing your eyes.

It feels good. You feel good, for the first time in a long time, knowing that you won’t hurt anymore. You won’t have to be afraid of someone kicking your door in, you won’t have to worry about where your next meal is going to come from, and you won’t have to worry about turning into a monster. It’s a mercy.

So you close your eyes.

Suddenly grateful for the killer before you, your guardian angel, here to deliver you the peace you didn’t know you needed.

You wait patiently for the sting of a blade or the embrace of his hands around your throat but all you're met with is a sigh. When you finally find the courage to open your eyes he’s sitting on the edge of the bed across from you, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Just go.” He grumbles, muttering a few other words you don’t catch.

You’re almost disappointed, having accepted this was the end, and now you’re being shoved back into the cold and unforgiving world. You start to get to your feet but your knees buckle under you. You try again, willing your leg to just work but much to your dismay you can’t even straighten out your leg anymore. When you try to move it all you find yourself only able to bend your knee a few inches.

Shit.

You think of the fall you took on the way in and wonder if you finally pushed yourself to the limit. If you go back to the doctor will he remove the entire thing? Maybe you should just ask Joel to finish the job before it comes to that. It would be a kindness, between a quick death here or a slow death starving in your apartment you’ll take the quick way every time. Before you even have a chance to ask he’s on his feet. Maybe his patience has run out and you won’t have to ask at all.

“Let me.” His voice rattles around in your head, so low and commanding that you put up no resistance as he lifts you up under your arms and sets you down on the edge of the bed where he just was. He flips the knife out, going to cut your jeans off of you but you stop him.

“Wait!” He freezes in place, giving you an impatient look. “These are my only jeans, just- just pull them down.” Before you can realize how embarrassing it might be to show your neighbor your faded pink panties, you're already unbuttoning your pants, lifting your hips up so he can pull them down your legs with a roll of his eyes. It’s painful, the feeling of the denim running against your skin but it’s better than not having any pants at all.

Fuck.

It’s been a while since you’ve actually looked at your leg. You’re surprised he was able to get your jeans off with how swollen it is, the flesh bulging around your ankle and now up your calf. The skin is shiny and blotchy with shades of purple and red. The sight of it makes you want to hurl but you manage to swallow the urge, looking away as he pokes at the tender flesh.

“Christ girl, what the hell did you do?” When he grabs your ankle to lift your leg you yelp in pain, making him set your leg back down instinctively.

“I just- it’s just a broken ankle.” You mumble as he gives you an incredulous look.

“Like hell it is.” Something about the sternness of his voice demands your obedience as you nod. “Wanna tell me what really happened?”

“Well I- I fell and-” You struggle to find an excuse to justify how bad you let this get but you come up empty. So you tell the truth. “I fell off a ladder while painting over graffiti during my shift and broke my ankle. The doctor told me to stay off of it and- well, I couldn’t afford not to work so I just… didn’t” You rush through your words, staring anywhere else but into his demanding gaze as you explain yourself.

“So you turned to stealin’.” He says it like the fact it is and you can only bring yourself to nod. “You need antibiotics.” He says just as matter of factly. “You know how much that sort of thing costs?”

A lot.

More than you’d have even if you were working overtime.

He clears his throat and you finally meet his eyes.

His eyes were so dark that day they threatened to swallow you whole. Were they always that dark? Or was it just that day, the first day, when he realized that he had you.

“Look, I don’t do this kinda thing for just anybody. But I can help you.” He had sounded so kind, his hint of a smile had seemed so promising.

“I can’t afford it-”

“You can use alternative methods to pay me back.”

You told him you’d think about it.

And he hadn’t pushed you, he had simply helped you back into your jeans and carried you back to your apartment. He told you he’d check on you tomorrow and see if you had an answer for him.

So when the next day came and you had a fever and your leg was throbbing, demanding your attention you’d been all too eager to accept his help.

And just like that, it was your idea.

It wasn’t his, he was blameless, you asked him to help you. And it didn’t matter who had suggested it first, it mattered who brought it up after.

You had been certain that when he had told you you’d be using alternative methods to pay him back that his intentions were unsavory. And at that point you didn’t really care, you’d made your peace with that. The medicine you needed wasn’t cheap and you could find worse looking men who didn’t take care of themselves the way Joel did.

But he wanted nothing of the sort.

Southern Manners.

All he wanted was for you to take care of his apartment when he was out with his business partner, a woman who didn’t seem to dislike you but certainly didn’t care for you. He told you to take a week to just rest, take the medicine he brought you, eat the food that he fed you, and be good. So you did as he asked. And after a week you could move a bit more, you started spending your days at Joel’s tidying up and organizing while he was gone, it was much easier to stay off your leg for most of the day and he always made sure there was food and books for you while he was gone. And when he returned he would help you hobble back to your place and help you into bed without complaint and with a promise that he’d be back in the morning.

But you still don’t relax around him.

It doesn’t make sense. Even someone who wasn’t known for their cruelty wouldn’t just take a stranger in. You’d like to believe that there’s good in people but you know better than to have that kind of faith. There isn’t enough left of the world to share the remains. Yet Joel does. He doesn’t ask to know you better and he certainly doesn’t tell you about himself yet he shows you more kindness than anyone else in your life has before.

He must like having someone to take care of.

That’s how you explain it to yourself.

You watch him with Tess and it’s clear who’s in charge there, she barely even lets him stitch her up when she returns to the apartment. Joel gets frustrated every time, huffing and pacing around the room before finding some way to tend to you in her place. Icing your leg, or bringing you a new book to read, or feeding you.

It took a few months for your leg to heal, it had been in such bad shape a part of you worried that it might never be the same as it once was.

After the first month of your arrangement Joel told you his knees hurt and he wouldn’t be able to carry you home, you offered to just walk yourself over, your leg didn’t hurt that bad anymore and you were more than capable of walking short distances. But he insisted you stay, told you you could sleep in the bed and he’d take the couch.

But his knees hurt, you couldn’t let him do that.

And you told him you’d take the couch and he told you he wouldn’t feel right making you sleep on the couch with your leg the way it was.

So you told him you’d both just sleep in the bed. It wasn’t a big deal. You trusted him, of course you did, he had an opportunity to exploit you and he didn’t, if he was going to hurt you he would have done it already.

He had acted unsure.

You know now that it was acting.

So you had insisted. You told him it was okay, you told him you felt safe with him.

It was your idea.

Even though it hadn’t been your idea to stay that night.

You had insisted he get in the bed with you.

A fact that he would bring up often in the months to come.

He would still help you to your apartment some nights, but just as often he’d complain about his knees and you’d stay. You got used to his warmth, you got used to waking up in his arms and not talking about it in the morning.

So it made sense when he told you that you should keep your pajamas at his apartment.

It made sense when he got a toothbrush for you to keep in his bathroom cabinet.

It made sense when he told you that he couldn’t find new clothes in your size and you could just wear his.

It made sense when he told you that he and Tess had never been a thing, so you had no reason to feel weird about sleeping in his bed.

And it made sense when he told you that he’d hold onto the keys to your apartment, afterall you wouldn’t want to lose them.

Joel Miller was a glue trap. And you had waded across his sticky surface without a care in the world, never realizing that it was getting harder and harder to move until you were standing still. Until the only way you were going to escape was by biting off your own leg.

You don’t remember when you stopped returning to your own apartment completely, but you know that it happened early on, before you’d even started chewing.

Now - JACKSON, WYOMING : 2023

“Ruth?” You’re gonna be late if you don’t find her soon. The turntable in the corner of the kitchen plays a 3 Doors Down song as you lift the table cloth, searching for the little girl. “We don’t have time to play, we need to get you to school.” You groan, turning to face the boy currently sitting in a highchair he’s just about grown out of. “Do you know where she is?” You cross your arms in front of your chest, glaring at him as he shrugs.

Of course he isn’t going to tell. They look out for each other before anyone else, a fact that normally fills you with joy but not when they’re ganging up against you. Thankfully you catch his eye as he shoots a glance at the pantry. Pulling the door open you’re quickly met with the sight of Ruth, giggling on the floor. You pick her up, putting her in her own highchair before setting a plate of fruits down in front of her.

“Eat. We don’t have time to play this morning, young lady.” You poke your fork in her direction as you sit down across from them.

“Eat.” She repeats in a mocking tone, her brother erupting into a fit of giggles at the impression as you sigh. They need to be at the community center in half an hour. You make the job schedules on Friday and you need as much time as possible if you want to finish them in one day. You’re having a hard time focusing on the mess your son is making as he smashes each blueberry down onto the table before popping them into his mouth as you try to schedule your own weekend.

You need to finish all of your work today while the kids are gone so you don’t have to juggle watching them and working later, it shouldn’t be too much of an issue, scheduling should only take a few hours if you really zero in on it. You have dinner with Tommy and Maria tomorrow and you promised to bring dessert so you’ll have to take the kids to the market tonight, which also means you’re going to have to find supplies to barter with before you go.

You have nothing planned on Sunday.

You’ll have to change that.

You hate having nothing to do.

You’re snapped out of your thoughts as a blueberry hits you in the forehead. Both twins laugh now as you frown at them.

“Behave or I’ll tell your aunt that you’ve been bad.” Both children look at each other nervously before returning to their breakfast. You were never stern enough with them. You loved them too much, you couldn’t ever bring yourself to yell at them, and it wasn’t like they were troublemakers by any means, they were just kids with a lot of energy in the mornings. And when they did misbehave a small threat of telling Maria was enough to make them stop whatever it was they were doing.

You finish up your own plate and start getting ready to leave as the kids start giggling again to themselves. When their plates are empty you use a wet washcloth to clean their hands and faces before lifting each of them out of their respective seats, letting them run off a bit more energy before you head out. You set all three bags down in front of the door. Yours being the beige over the shoulder bag accompanied by two little backpacks. Ruth’s green canvas bag is covered in mud and other remnants of the yard that she’s brought in with her but Arthur’s purple backpack is kept neat and tidy. You slip into your coat before turning just in time to watch your son dive into the couch, quickly followed by his sister.

“Come on little ducks. Time for school.” You take their jackets off the hook, holding them out to them as they rush over to you, tugging their own coats on before grabbing their bags, once you pull the door open they both rush out into the cool autumn morning, talking to each other in hushed tones. Always secrets with those two. It would probably make you a little worried if these were normal circumstances, the way they don’t let anyone in except each other, with you being the only exception. But the world is a terrifying place, it brings you peace to know that they have each other.

A part of you is certain you wouldn’t have been able to handle just one.

One little person relying on you, all while you’re doing your best to hold it all together? It sounds like a nightmare. It’s better that they have each other. Once you’re standing outside the community center, busy with parents dropping off their children, you kneel down.

“Be good, if you behave today you can go to the market tonight.” The promise of the market has both of them grinning, showing off the teeth they’ve both recently had grow in. “I love you, I’ll see you in a bit.” You hold open your arms, each of them taking their respective sides as they wrap themselves around you. You take your daughter's face in your hands before pressing a kiss to her forehead, repeating the motion with your son. After a few “love you mama’s” they both run into the building, once you’re sure they’re safe inside you head off in the direction of town hall.

You have what you would call the best job in town, despite the fact that no one else seems to want to do it.

Maria understood when you arrived that you needed something that let you work from home if needed, you needed something that kept your mind busy but also gave you time with the kids. So you took care of the parts of Jackson most didn’t think about.

You document all of the citizens, you make the shift schedules, and you make sure everyone has the necessities. You take care of housing, when big hauls from scavenging come in you divide them up among the people who need them. You make the meal schedules for the dining hall, and you make the crop schedules.

You keep Jackson moving.

When you arrived all of this was Maria’s job along with her other duties, when you told her you wanted something engaging and demanding she was more than willing to pass off those duties to you. So now you’ve got to make the schedule. Town hall is nothing more than a house with several desks for people doing work similar to yours but thankfully you’ve been lucky enough to reserve your own office in one of the bedrooms.

Most Friday's Maria visits you for lunch but you know she’s on patrol currently, another perk of this job is knowing where everyone is, all the time.

No surprises.

You hate surprises. (With a few exceptions.)

One of the exceptions is waiting for you in your office, Tommy sits with his legs up on your desk, reading over this past week's schedule.

“You put me on crop harvest way more than anyone else.” He grumbles, tossing your notebook down.

“It’s the end of the season, everyones on crop harvest.” You lean down, kissing his cheek before taking your place across from him, immediately getting to work as he groans.

“Maria gets to go on patrol.”

“Council gets first dibs on patrols during harvest season.” The tip of your favorite pen is dry so you quickly bring it to your mouth, wetting it with your tongue before you start writing out jobs for this upcoming week. The second he sees how many farming related jobs you’re listing he leans back in his chair, groaning and running his fingers through his dark curls.

Today’s his day off. You always gave anyone doing more manual labor three days off instead of two.

“I can get you on one patrol shift but they’re going to need your help with the corn.” You write his name in with the Monday and Tuesday patrol squad, filling in the rest of his week with harvest as he grins.

“Thank you, darlin’.” He drawls. You hate that nickname, you hate that he isn’t the first to give it to you but you never complain, you’d let Tommy get away with murder at this point. It’s the least you can do considering everything he’s given you.

“Yeah yeah, whatever. You’re only getting a two-day weekend next week.” You mumble, searching through the list of citizens, trying to pick out the people you know won’t mind the hard work.

“Fine by me.” You have a complicated relationship with that smile of his. You can love it all you want but that doesn’t change the fact that it makes you uneasy, it doesn’t help that you’re starting to see that same smile in your son.

“I was thinking about berry cobbler for tomorrow night.” Molly twisted her ankle last week, make sure she isn’t standing. You put her down for shucking corn, she can sit in the dining hall and work.

“We have a bunch of extra sweet potatoes if you want to make sweet potato pie.” He takes your crop ledger, flipping through it, clearly not reading a thing.

“Ruth hates sweet potatoes.” Marcus insists he’s capable of doing manual labor, his pride won’t let him act his age. You put him down for pushing the wheelbarrows, he won’t have to bend down to pick anything up but hopefully he’ll still feel like he’s doing enough. You’ve told him countless times that at his age he shouldn’t be working so hard but he always insists.

“Shit, forgot about that. Maria might have some apples.”

“I’ll stop by tonight before I take the kids to the market.”

You’re thankful for Tommy.

He keeps your mind busy with conversation while you work, and he’s one of the only people you actually trust. By the time you’re almost done you know you need to go get the kids, with a conflicted glance at the clock you start to gather your things but Tommy beats you to it.

“I’ll go get them, Maria should be home from patrol soon, she’ll want to see them.” He’s already putting his coat on so you stay seated.

“Are you sure?” You already know there’s no reason to argue, he’s stubborn, just like his brother.

“It’s the least I can do to make up for bothering you all day.” He steps around the desk to give you a peck on the cheek before going to leave. “Just come by the house when you’re done, no rush.” And just like that he’s gone.

You make quick work of your remaining duties. Finishing everything within a half an hour before heading out in the direction of the Miller’s farm house on the edge of town. It’s only a few houses away from your ranch house, a fact that you couldn’t be more grateful for, if it weren’t for Tommy and Maria you aren’t sure you’d have been able to handle those first few months of parenthood. Most people in town assumed Tommy must be the father purely based on how much effort he put into taking care of not only them, but you as well. As you make your way up their porch steps and into the living room you’re also reminded of the similarities. You can’t blame people for making assumptions, even Maria thought he was the father. The twins have his eyes, (which by association means that they also have his eyes, but you try not to dwell on that.) Ruth has your nose but Arthur has that Miller curve already starting to show on his little nose. Both little ones are sitting in the big recliner with their uncle as he tries to get them to settle down while he reads to them but the second they see you, both are scrambling out of the chair to hug your legs.

And everything goes exactly how it’s supposed to.

(Of course it does, you plan every day down to the minute.)

You give Tommy the list of things you need along with a few things he can trade them for and he takes the kids down the street to the market as you sit at the kitchen counter, talking to Maria about her patrol. You had all planned to go to the market together but she’d insisted she was tired and you didn’t want her to be here alone so you stayed, helping her cook dinner. And you talked about all the things you knew you would, something cute the kids did, how her patrol went, what things you could put on the dining hall menu in the coming weeks.

It’s all exactly how it should be.

Until she frowns.

“Are you busy Sunday?” You had sensed something was wrong with her but you assumed maybe she was just a little rattled coming off of a three day patrol.

“No, did you need something?” You continue to chop up the sweet potatoes she now planned to use tonight instead of tomorrow.

“We found a couple of strays, I thought maybe we could get them settled in.”

Odd.

Normally finding survivors would be the first thing she mentioned after returning, even stranger is the fact that she’d often waste no time getting them supplies and a home to make their own. But you're not one to question Maria’s judgment.

“Sure, we can do that Sunday morning.” You want to ask questions about it but she’s already changed the subject to doing a clothing drive at the community center so you don’t press. Despite the way the look on her face is bothering you.

It wasn’t fear, or discomfort, or something you could explain away with the excuse of the strays being off putting or violent.

It’s a look of pity.

As if she feels bad for even asking.

It unsettles you enough to leave it be. Making idle chit chat with her until Tommy returns with the twins and you take them home. It unsettles you as you make your own dinner, as you give the twins a bath, and as you help them into their pajamas and read them a story. It never leaves your mind.

“Goodnight Ruthie.” You lean down to kiss her forehead, watching her eyes flutter shut as she continues to fight sleep. Always the stubborn one.

“Night Mama.” You take the stuffed bear from the foot of her bed, tucking it in beside her before quietly standing, walking across the room to your son's bed.

“Goodnight Arthur.” You lean down, kissing both of his rosy cheeks, he doesn’t fight sleep the way his sister does. So similar but so different.

“Goodnight Mama.” His little voice has the same southern drawl you know he’s been picking up from Tommy.

“I love you, little ducks.” You smile at him, turning to see that Ruth is already asleep, you tuck in the blankets around Arthur before leaving, keeping the door cracked open a bit so the light from the kitchen can act as a night light.

God, you're tired.

You’re quick to shower and slip into your own pajamas, crawling into bed with a yawn. You take the book from your nightstand, flipping through until you find where you left off yesterday.

You never really know what’s going on in the books you read, they serve a singular purpose and it isn’t entertainment.

You read until you fall asleep, they’re just a distraction to keep your mind busy with thoughts so he can’t sneak in right before you fall asleep and embed himself in your dreams.

It works.

Your dreams never feature him.

They aren’t good dreams by any means, they’re wild. Often of your journey to Jackson, the fear you felt then. But you’ll take that over Joel any day. Tonight isn’t any different, your sleep is restless as you fight the memories of fighting for survival in those woods, but instead of your usual nightmares of infected hunting you through the trees you’re faced with a sight that somehow makes you even more uneasy than the living dead.

The look on Maria’s face when she told you about the two strays.

support me on kofi!!

a/n : this fic has been bouncing around in my brain for months now and it feels so fucking good to finally start it omfg. sorry if this felt a little slow, i really needed to set a tone and a base for the story, sorry!!

#lincolndjarin #fic : every now and then #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #tlou joel #joel tlou #joel the last of us #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fic #tlou fic #joel x reader #the last of us fic #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction

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mariacrow · 2 years ago

Note

hello my fellow ratchet apologist!! love your works! 🫶🏼🫶🏼

do you think you could write some sweet and cute sleeping hcs with Ratchet? I just wanna lay on him or him lay on me <3

(ps. this is ur opportunity to write those snoring hcs too 🤭)

thank you for your love on my works too! have a great day/night <3

ROOOOSE I was bouncing off DA WALLS when I saw ur request (it’s not like I immediately started bombing you with love in ur dms nope not at all- me? Naaah never)

THANK U SO MUCH AGAIN AGH!!! 🧡 One grumpy doc hc coming up fresh out da oven! 🚑 hope u like it, love ya 🧡

GRUMPY DOC LOVERS UNITE! 🚑🧡

ʚ Ratchet x reader ɞ

ﾟ｡ ⋆ ☁︎｡ ☽ sleeping headcanons ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ☁︎｡

2nd person

female reader

WARNING: SNORING GRUMPY DOC!

Does he look like he needs sleep?? HE NEEDS ANSWERS!!!

Kidding. He definitely needs stasis. ASAP.

It would be hard to drag him away from work, you'd have to be stubborn to the point you annoy his way to bed

Later you'd realize puppy eyes and a pretty please also works on him which would make his cheek plates go slightly blue

He loves to have you next to him or on top of him, either way nicely tucked in, wrapped in a little blanket burrito because he can't risk you getting cold

His servos... oh his beautiful gentle servos... He'd play with your hair or rub your back to soothe you. He wouldn't speak much but here and there you might hear his handsome voice through a romantic whisper saying:

Ratchet: are you comfortable enough?

Ratchet: my sleeping beauty...

Did he do research on Disney princesses to find a proper nickname for you because you're his princess? Perhaps.

He would always watch over you before you fall asleep. Even when you do, he'd stay up a bit longer, listen to your peaceful breathing and focus on your calm heartbeat while dozens of thoughts would be running through his mind, keeping a tiny smile on his face

He always keeps one of his servos around you no matter what

He's a light sleeper so he'd hear every little shuffle you make and slightly open his optic to check on you. If your blanket has slid off of you, he'd gently tuck you back in every time and plant a soft kiss on your temple

If he really overworks himself (and I'm talking 3 days without stasis) a bomb could barely wake him up. If he ends up on his back, he snores, like, real loud. It would definitely wake you up and you'd be greeted by a funny sight of your old grumpy doc with an open mouth, shaking the whole base with his snoring

Considering you wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, you'd have to give him a little nudge or gently caress his face plate to which he'd mumble something in his sleep while getting comfortable on his side as he'd stop snoring

He always wakes up before you, no exceptions. He needs to wake up early and go back to work

He always gives you a kiss on the cheek or forehead before leaving. If you'd tug at his servo and tell him to stay a little longer, he'd refuse of course

But your sleepy little begging would drag him back to bed nevertheless. He'd stay for about 30 minutes longer, listen to your cute sleepy voice and yawning, smiling while having a little morning chit chat with you

He loves your messy morning hair, it's so adorable to him

If you have longer hair and prefer tying it while sleeping, in the morning he'd help you fix your ponytail/braid(s) (whatever you prefer). Same goes if you wear a bonnet, he'd make sure it doesn't fall off throughout the night as well

If you brush your hair, he'd love brushing it for you or make your braid(s) e.g., whatever you ask him to do. He isn't afraid of the size difference, he's confident and very gentle, he learned his way with you

If you oversleep often, he'd scold you the moment you show up, telling you how it's unhealthy and blahblah

If your sleeping schedule is not sleeping at all, ironically enough, he'd tell you not be like him and how sleep is necessary for your species, how stasis works differently, how you should blahblahblah he can be such a parent but he does that because he cares for you

If you're a morning person and go to bed on time, he'd praise you for that

He'd make sure you have breakfast every morning even if it means feeding you because breakfast is the most important meal of the day!!!

youtube

What I was listening to while writing this 🧡

Dividers belong to @dvluc , @firefly-graphics , @animatedglittergraphics-n-more 🧡

#transformers #transformers headcanons #transformers x reader #transformers prime #tfp #ratchet #tfp ratchet #ratchet x reader #tfp ratchet x reader #transformers ratchet #transformers fanfiction #autobots #tfp autobots

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8ysharkstar · 4 months ago

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hiiii!!! May I request a PLATONIC pure vanilla x quiet/anxious child reader? Reader is going through a lot and struggling mentally… and just needs hugs and comfort lol

[ Sure thing!! ]

( Pure Vanilla x GN!Child!Reader )

“ they don’t really understand what big kids do “

TW; A little Angst, Anxiety (?)

>pv might not be accurate so I tried my best

!platonic

RcmSong; Harvey | Alex G

☆;

I really can't sleep, I just can't. I tried? But anything doesn't help, my body just feels weak. Staying up almost every day is the routine I do, even if I do sleep, it's hard to not have any nightmares. Always in a deep void, filled with blue eyes..?

I used to be a lost cookie, but join apart of the vanilla kingdom, everyone seems very joyous and happy, but I look different from their emotions. I can't seem to communicate properly, nor get myself up, I always feel anxious around other people. I can't really fix myself, can't I?

Being apart of the academics seems complicated for me, always seen to be failing from the others. I just really hope I can get better.

Pure vanilla has found me the lack of communicating cookie, and he decided to schedule himself to talk to me after the session.

Pure vanilla called over my name, which felt like a for piercing through my dough, I felt even more anxious, did I do something wrong in class? Am I failing? Do I have to move out?

I felt a hand on my shoulder, sending a quick jump from me. Turning around to see pure vanilla, seeming to be worried and upset. What did I do? Did I..

"y/n cookie.. are you okay my dear student..?"

... That voice seems to calm me down a bit, but I really don't want to trouble him much because of me.

"yes.. sir vanilla, I'm okay! No need to worry."

As I was about to walk away...

"wait, is anything troubling you, y/n? You always seemed so anxious in class, may I help you with your troublesome..?"

"no need to, sir vanilla. I'm okay, really. I don't want to trouble you some more."

...

"whatever situation you're on, please let me help you y/n cookie. I insist, no need to worry about my work, I always keep my cookies in a good state, and you're one of them."

Hearing those words felt like tears dripping down my icings. Such a small sentence can comfort me? Tears fall out, causing my dough to be soaked.

Pure vanilla seem to help me to stop crying, so my dough doesn't crumble at such a young age.

"please y/n cookie, it's sometimes okay to be quiet. But you can't seal your emotions forever, someone in earthbread is always here for you. I'm here for you, y/n cookie. Your are one of my dearest students."

I hugged myself to pure vanilla as my tears began to stop, he's my only hope I have in earthbread, For now. I really don't know what I don't know on what to do If I loose him.

He showed on how I can improve myself, really helped me with him talking to me. I really improved onto being one with the pure vanilla citizens and pure vanilla cookie's student's.

Sorry for any grammar mistakes! Hope you enjoy reading :3

Yippie!!! First fanfic

#crk #crk x reader #pure vanilla crk #pure vanilla cookie #angst #cookie run x you #cookie run x reader #pure vanilla x reader

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rogersideup · 11 months ago

Text

Nice to be Kneaded

More fun stuff!

America’s Sweetheart

Can be read as a one shot, or in conjunction with Nice to be Kneaded.

Series Masterlist More Fun Stuff Masterlist

Nomad Steve x Baker reader

3,621 words

Reader finds a way to make Steve’s birthday special despite all odds

You sat cozy on your couch, relaxed as could be. A movie played quietly, your softest blanket was thrown over your lap, legs propped up on the coffee table, and your favorite fugitive next to you fought off sleep so hard he could barely even pay attention to the movie anymore.

It was one of those rare nights you decided to work from home to spare both you and Steve a night at the bakery. Sure, he could've found ingredients to organize and endlessly dust flour off of shelves, but it was important to you that he got relaxing nights with peace of mind, and no manual labor.

With your laptop open, your last task of the night was to look over the schedule and make sure everything was ready to go. Themed treats for upcoming holidays were thought of, time off requests were approved, supply deliveries were marked on time.

A date on the calendar caught your attention. The Fourth of July was quickly approaching, so you placed an order of red and blue sprinkles and some extra food coloring just to make sure you had enough to supply the small town with all of their themed treat needs. For such a quaint place, everyone around took the fourth very seriously.

Then faster than a bullet train, you nearly gasped as you got hit with the realization... Captain America's birthday is on the Fourth of July.

You looked over at your sleepy super soldier and couldn't help but to smile at his long hair flopping onto his face but being too tied to even fix it.

"Stevie" You quietly caught his attention, reaching over to rub his arm.

"Hmm?" He replied, turning his attention towards you.

"What do you want to do on your birthday?" You asked him while closing your laptop. If you had to choose between working another minute, or snuggling the sleepy hunk of a man next to you, you'd always choose the latter.

"My birthday?" Steve furrowed his eyebrows at your question, sounding genuinely confused. "Wasn't gonna celebrate it this year."

His eyes widened at your immediate pout to his statement, but his arms welcomed you and pulled you closer as your body cuddled up to his. He kissed your forehead as you settled in, but you looked up at his sweet face again. "There was only one wrong possible answer to that question, and it's the one you just gave me."

"Holidays are busy for you at work anyway, don't need to add anything else to that chaos." His beard tickled your neck as he shoved his chin onto your shoulder. "I didn't celebrate last year either. It's not that big of a deal."

"You didn't even tell me when your birthday was or that it was coming up." You pouted, sadness lacing into every work you spoke. "If the date wasn't so painfully obvious it would've passed by and I wouldn't have even known, and I feel like you did that on purpose."

"It's okay Sunflower," he mumbled before placing a kiss to your shoulder. "I don't really like my birthday, so I'd rather just skip it."

Your pout deepened even more at his statement. Of course circumstances aren't ideal, he was in hiding so there wasn't much you could even do with or even for him. He couldn't spend it with his friends or chosen family, and it's not like you could take him to a fancy dinner at a fine dining restaurant, but you knew in your heart you could still make the day special.

"Why don't you like it?" You questioned.

The sadness in your eyes was killing him slowly, and quickly melting away the walls around his heart. "I guess I liked it more when I was a kid, but as I've gotten older it's always gotten more complicated. There's always so much pressure surrounding one day of the year and I usually end up on some sort of parade float for the city anyways. It's not really my birthday anymore, I always just feel like a holiday novelty."

"That makes me so sad." You admitted before Steve kissed the pout right off your lips.

"Don't be sad, it's fine." He grabbed your blanket from the couch and pulled it right back over the two of you. "This year has been quite taxing, emotionally and physically so every day I get to spend like this with you feels like a gift. This is all I want."

"You're very stubborn." You noted, shaking your head. "Your mere existence is practically a miracle, and you don't think that's worth celebrating."

"I think you might be the only person who feels that way about me anymore." He mumbled.

That statement made your heartbreak, and caused a physical pain in your chest. You knew now that this was a sensitive subject, and you've probably pushed too far.

"You know damn well that's not true." You said seriously, looking right into his tired eyes. "And I'll prove it to you."

"That sounds a little more than mildly threatening." Steve grinned.

"Good, I'm glad. You should feel threatened." Your arms squeezed him tighter and you snuggled impossibly closer to him. "Because you're very special, and you deserve to feel that way."

"look who's the stubborn one now." Steve raised an eyebrow.

"Happily." You kissed him. "I'm taking advantage of the fact that you're too tired to even argue, but we can drop the subject because I want you to sleep well tonight."

"That's so sweet and so mean at the same time." Steve grinned.

"It comes from a place of good intentions." You clarified.

"I know it does, you have the biggest heart I've ever known." Steve agreed. "So if we must celebrate my birthday, this is all I want. If you happen to find some spare time on the fourth, I will happily spend it with you."

Finally, your pretty smile poked through. "I guess that's better than refusal."

"Shall we agree to disagree and call it a night?" Steve pitched, tucking your hair behind your ear.

"Only because I care about you so much." You laid your head right on his chest.

"No! Don't get cozy!" Steve sleepily giggled. "Let's go to bed."

"Fine, fine." You sat up and let out a yawn as he stood up from the couch and stretched.

He reached out his hand to you, seemingly offering to help you up. But the second you placed your hand in his, he hooked your arm around the back of his neck and picked you up like a groom would his bride.

Your laughter warmed his heart all the way up the stairs, then your arms held him appreciatively as he carefully set you down on your bed and got in next to you.

A few kisses and affirmations of nothing but the sweetest dreams to come was just about all the two of you had any energy for before falling asleep shortly after.

The next morning, Steve went off on his daily run and you headed off to work leaving your mind perfectly free to devise a plan to make his birthday as special as it could possibly be.

You knew he was a very chill guy. He did everything on the down low and never liked to bring too much attention to himself, even when he wasn't in hiding. So if there was one thing you knew for sure, especially after your conversation about it, your plans needed to be just as chill as he was.

You were so chill about it, in fact, time flew by without you even bringing his birthday up again. So as it approached, Steve nearly forgot about it.

The night of July 3rd, your plan started wonderfully. Though the two of you would usually watch a Pixar movie since Steve hadn't seen most of them, you were able to sway him towards the perfect Disney movie... Tangled.

You got him to watch the whole movie with you, and even managed to get both of you through it without either of you falling asleep before the ending.

Ever since you learned about Steve in history class as a teenager, you found his birthday to be rather interesting. The chances of a sickly little boy born on Independence Day growing up to be the face of the country's best fighter was probably less than one in a million.

Every year on his birthday, fireworks lit up the sky over the whole country, much like how every year on Rapunzle's birthday, the entire kingdom let go of lanterns to float in the sky in hopes of finding her.

Perhaps your parallels weren't enough for Steve, he didn't put two and two together. Or maybe he saw some connections but didn't say anything, but regardless, the context was bound to make your plans for his birthday even more special.

The worst part of the whole day was that Steve was correct, holidays at work were very busy so you couldn't take the whole day off to spend with him. But, you still made some arrangements to make his time away from you feel special.

You got up extra early, just about 3 in the morning, to sneak into his house to decorate his living room with balloons, and a cute happy birthday banner you strung across the mantle. Just to cover all your bases since you knew he wouldn't accept any real gifts, you also left him a card with a cute note written inside, all his favorite snacks, a new hat and a super cute hoodie, and a few chocolate chip cookies just for good measure.

A few kisses to his temple while he was asleep, tucking him in tighter before you left, then you were off to work. You pretty much helped customers all day long with the exception of making Steve a birthday cake and decorating a custom sugar cookie order.

When you got off work, you quickly ran home to shower and change into some comfortable clothes before making your way to Steve's house once more.

Using the side gate and entering the back door, you smiled at the sight of Steve walking towards you.

"Happy birthday, Stevie!" You smiled excitedly, happy to finally get to spend time with him.

"Thank you, pretty girl" Steve smiled right back and greeted you with a kiss before pointing at the cake box in your hands. "What's that?"

"Your cake, silly. What else would it be?" You questioned with a giggle and set the box down on the table.

"I have a bone to pick with you." Steve playfully scolded.

"Already?" You questioned. "We haven't even gotten to the fun part!"

"I told you I didn't want this to interfere with your already busy day, and I know you got up early, and I know that took time away from work." He said pointing to the cake box.

"Oh but you're just so cute I can't even help myself." You fake complained. "Plus we actually get to eat this so we both benefit."

"I'll let you get away with it this time, but this behavior is unacceptable." He continued joking, referencing everything you've already done for him.

"Well, don't speak too soon because I have to admit I'm a bit embarrassed about something."

Steve preemptively giggled at your admission as you started opening the top of the cake box. "What happened?"

"I realized while I was making this earlier that you never actually told me how old you are, so I had to secretly google you at work so nobody would know I was making you a cake. Then google was telling me all sorts of nonsense about how old you could be but I refuse to believe what it said, so I had to do math which is not my strong suit." You explained. "All of that is to say I committed, and it could be completely wrong."

He stood behind you with a hand on your lower back, peeking over your shoulder. Never expecting what was to come, he nearly choked on a knot in his throat and had to try really hard to not let tears well in his eyes when you showed him the cake you made.

It was small and round, his favorite color green, perfectly piped borders on the top and bottom, the perfect sprinkle mix, and it read 'Happy Birthday, Stevie!' With candles that said 33.

You looked back at his face to see if you got it right, but you were met with an expression you couldn't quite gauge. With an awkward giggle, you asked the dreaded question "Oh no, it's wrong huh? How old are you?"

"No, no, you got it right." Steve shook his head and finally got himself to smile and chuckle at his own reaction. He wrapped his arms about you from behind. "It's just- this is the first time I've ever had a cake that wasn't red white and blue. I really love it, it's so pretty. Thank you so much"

"What? That makes no sense. Your favorite color is green so why would you have a red white and blue cake?" You asked as if it was the easiest, most obvious choice.

You didn't even realize how much something so simple to you meant to him. He knew two things for sure right then and there, the first being that him being captain america meant so little to you that you couldn't even fathom why he hated his birthday so much, and the second being you were the only person since the 40's to make him feel like himself again. You didn't use his birthday as an opportunity to make jokes about how old he was or what had happened to him, and you put forth your best effort to separate it from the holiday. He was so sure this moment was when he was certain he wanted to marry you.

"You're too good to me" Steve shook his head before kissing the top of yours.

"Save it for later, we're just starting the celebration." You smiled, turning around to face him. There was no containing your chuckle as he kissed you yet again. "Would you like 33 kisses today?"

"That's not enough." Steve denied, the blush in his cheeks spreading to the tip of his nose. "Some would say I'm actually turning 99 today. I would like 100 kisses. One extra for good luck"

"Oh, so now you actually tell me what you want?" You smiled. "My lips might fall off but that's a price I'm willing to pay."

"Okay then we probably shouldn't test that theory." He regretfully let you go.

"Here's the deal Rogers, I’m about to kidnap you and take you on a little hike so I need you to put on some comfortable clothes and get your beautiful booty in my car.” You pointed your finger at him. “I don’t want to hear any complaints!”

“Yes ma’am” Steve agreed with a smile before turning around to walk up the stairs. “Beautiful booty…” he repeated your words to yourself.

“And don’t you forget it!” You called out to him.

While you waited for him, you put the cake in the fridge but eventually got him into the car. After a short drive through the town and a relatively short hike up a hill, you set up a picnic at the very tippy top.

Together you sat on a plush blanket and ate Steve’s current favorite food which was ever changing, watched the sunset, and chatted away while waiting for the main event to start.

The sun fully left for the night at around 8pm, leaving nothing but the stars above you and crickets chirping to mask the sound of silence. You did eventually turn on and tune the little radio you brought with you to the right station that will synchronize with the towns firework show.

With a few minutes to spare, you finally explained. “The sunset was lovely, but I have ulterior motives.”

“Oh yeah?” Steve’s lopsided smile poked through. “Do tell more.”

“I told you I was going to prove to you that you’re very special and everyone else still thinks so.” You pulled a pair of headphones out of your backpack. “I made you watch tangled for a reason.”

“What’s the reason?” He asked curiously.

“Every year on her birthday, rapunzel watches the lanterns from her bedroom window because she thinks they’re beautiful and helped her feel less trapped in the tower she was stuck in. She always felt like they were meant for her since they always happened on her birthday.” You explained. “I know being on the run also has you feeling quite stuck, but I think it’s beautiful that every year on your birthday the whole sky is filled with fireworks like they’re meant for you. This is the best view point from the whole town, but it’s always empty because nobody knows it’s here. I thought maybe we could watch them together, and maybe it’ll bring you some peace when you see how many really light up the sky. In the least creepy way possible, before I even knew you I always thought of you on this day and really took a moment to appreciate how your existence inadvertently affected my life and so many others. If thats just what little old me was thinking about, imagine how many millions of people are still out there thinking of you tonight”

Steve looked dumbfounded for a few moments even after you explained. You continued to blow him away, and never ceased to know exactly what he needed to hear in the hardest moments in this crazy newfound life as a nomad. He didn’t quite find the words to respond before you started talking again.

“I know that sometimes someone in your line of work can have a hard time with the sounds that come along with fireworks, so I brought you some noise canceling headphones just in case. Or we can always just head home if you don’t want to..” you became a bit unsure of your choice when you realized you could damn near send the man into a panic attack.

“No. No this is perfect.” Steve shook his head, swallowing the lump in his throat once more. He had no idea he could ever be loved this much, so much that you didn’t even have to say it with words for him to know it was true. “I don’t even know what to say. I think this is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me.”

You smiled and snuggled up to his side. Tightly wrapping your arms around him, and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“You don’t have to say anything at all.” You rested your head on his shoulder. “I think they’re going to start any minute now. Would you like the headphones?”

“I don’t need them when I have you to protect me.” He grinned and rested his head on top of yours.

Over the radio played an announcement that the display was now starting.

“Okay here’s the part where I prove to you that you’re still America’s sweetheart.” You told him. “If I remember correctly, every year the show starts with…”

Steve started laughing as Star Spangled Man started playing on the radio, and fireworks illuminated the sky. From up close and from a distance, the view was so good he could see them from neighboring towns miles and miles away.

“You know this song, right?” You asked Steve sarcastically. You knew damn well he had heard the song about him hundreds of times on his USO tour.

“No, I’ve never heard it before” he responded just as sarcastically.

“You know, if the hatred for you was actually as bad as it feels for you, they would’ve stopped using this song last year.” You explained. “But look, it’s still here and people still love it, and people still love you. Even in this teeny tiny town that doesn’t even know you’re living in it.”

Steve nodded in understanding and he choked back more tears. He wrapped his arms around you just as tightly as you held him, and for the remaining 25 minutes both of you were so mesmerized by the lit up sky no more words were spoken to each other until after the grand finale.

The very last firework in the sky fizzled away, and he finally found the words. “You were right.”

You smiled. “It wasn’t about me being right, I just wanted you to have a good day.”

“I’m not even exaggerating, but I think this might be the best birthday I’ve ever had.” He said genuinely. “Thank you, I don’t think you’ll ever know how much I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome, sweet boy. Even if this is the only birthday of yours we get to spend together, I hope you know that every year when the fireworks go off, where ever we are in the world, I’ll always be thinking of you.” You kissed his lips.

“That might be even sweeter than the cake waiting for us at home.” Steve smiled, taking your words to heart.

“The only thing that’s between us and that cake is a hike down a hill.”

“In the complete dark.” Steve added. “Doesn’t that scare you?”

“Not when I have you to protect me.” You admitted, standing up to start the process of making your way back to the cake. Steve stood up, and under the moonlight he just looked to beautiful you couldn’t even resist giving him yet another hug.

He happily accepted, and rubbed your back in appreciation.

“Happy birthday, Steve.”

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flwrkid14 · 5 months ago

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Hi! Can we get some more Jason Todd: Dad Mode Activated? 🥺👉👈 maybe about how Jason helps Tim with his crushes or maybe like how to cope with some mental health struggles/ Tim comparing how different Jason lectures him to Bruce’s lectures?

Hi!! Thank you so much for the ask! <3 These are such great concepts, and I’d have so much fun exploring them! While I’m not sure I’ll make a full post for this, I’d love to share my thoughts on how these ideas could play out!

For Jason helping Tim with crushes, I feel like he’d totally be that dad—the one who embarrasses you in front of your crush on purpose. Tim, of course, doesn’t tell Jason about his crushes for this exact reason, but Jason is way too observant not to figure it out anyway. Imagine them out together (because Jason has once again dragged Tim away from his work to make him take a break), and Jason spots Tim’s current crush walking down the street. He’d nudge Tim with that smug, teasing grin of his, going, “Timmy! Look, Timbo! It’s Bernard! Isn’t he a good friend of yours? What’s he doing out here? Let’s go say hi!” And then, before Tim can protest, Jason’s already dragging him over, while Tim is blushing furiously and muttering curses under his breath. Jason’s embarrassing as hell, but... it’s also endearing. And for Tim, who didn’t grow up with that kind of playful, teasing love, it felt oddly nice... even if his dad was now enthusiastically talking about his cuddling habits when sleeping (screw him for being touch starved) to a very confused Bernard.

As for coping with mental health, Jason would be such a huge advocate. Realizing that Tim is his kid now—and that he’s essentially a dad—would really push Jason to work on his own mental health. He’d know he can’t preach good habits to Tim if he’s not setting a good example himself (because independent Tim Drake—who grew up without much supervision—definitely needs someone to lead by example. He needs proof that taking advice from someone else is worth it, especially when his own methods have always worked just fine for him).

So Jason starts his own mental health journey, taking active steps to improve himself, and Tim notices. And it hits him hard, because none of his parental figures before—Bruce or Jack—ever did that. They never cared about their own well-being for his sake, to be better parents to him. Seeing Jason make that effort makes Tim feel so incredibly loved and valued.

Jason wouldn’t just lecture Tim or bark orders at him; he’d actively help him build better habits. He’d set up mandatory family dinners once a week to encourage better eating patterns and help Tim develop routines that supported a healthier sleep schedule, tailored to his needs, once they realized the standard eight hours a night just wasn’t realistic for him.

It’s these little changes that make Tim realize just how different Jason is from Bruce.

Jason doesn’t demand things from Tim that he doesn’t practice himself. He wouldn’t tell Tim to stop working late if he wasn’t also putting his own work aside and calling it a night. If he’s telling Tim to eat better, he’s leading by example—packing ready-to-go meals for both of them when there’s no time to cook. Jason shows Tim why these changes are worth it, through actions and positive outcomes.

Bruce, on the other hand, never did that. Whatever Bruce told Tim to do was just an expectation. He’d demand Tim do better or lecture him without ever showing how or why it mattered. If Bruce criticized Tim’s performance in the field but was himself guilty of being distracted—like running off mid-patrol for a rendezvous with catwoman—Tim just nodded along and tuned him out. Bruce’s hypocrisy made it impossible for Tim to take him seriously.

But Jason? Jason shows Tim why he should listen, fixing his own behavior and performance first before ever asking the same of Tim. And that difference speaks volumes. For Tim, who’s used to parental figures endless demands with no understanding behind them, Jason’s approach feels like a breath of fresh air—and the kind of support he never knew he needed.

hopefully that lived up to your expectations! <3

#tim drake #jason todd #jason todd is a good dad #thanks for the ask!#this was fun to write #I love writing good dad jason

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httpskuzuu · 2 years ago

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Please, Fedya

idk why, but I'm very embarrassed to publish this

Yandere!Fyodor x Reader

English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the mistakes.

tw: kidnapping, yandere, mention of: broken bones, abuse, isolation, bad mental health, punishment and escape attempt (nothing explicit really), stockholm syndrome, fyodor is a general tw

Your life with Fyodor had been good, as good as a life with a kidnapper could be, but you would never admit that out loud, it would be too hard a blow to your dignity.

At first everything was hell, Fyodor was the definition of cruel, it took you months to be able to get out of the 4 walls where he locked you up, in complete darkness. It screwed up your eyesight, your sleep and your overall health, physical and mental. He at least fixed those problems, paid for your eye surgery, gave you vitamin D supplements, helped you by fixing your sleep schedule, etc.

It wasn't so bad, except that not all the issues could be fixed, your mental health was horrible, it still is, you doubted he could fix that.

Before you had all that help Fyodor gave you, you had to change your behavior, you were always a fighter and with Fyodor it would be no exception. The turning point of your behavior was the night you tried to escape. He caught you, as punishment he broke both your legs and your fingers, he also left you in complete isolation, you don't know for how long. Since that punishment, you never disobeyed Fyodor again, not intentionally at least.

As time went by, and when he saw that your meek behavior was not a lie, he began to give you more liberties. One of the most important for you was the freedom to go outside, obviously accompanied by Fyodor.

Also, with that freedom to go out, you realized that Fyodor liked to treat you like a doll. Every time he allowed you to go out he was the one who dressed you, you had no voice or vote in that.

On those outings, you realized that the place you were in was Russia, you didn't know specifically which part. Before arriving in Russia, you had never seen snow in person, so it was beautiful the first time.

Today was one of those days that Fyodor allowed you to go out.

He dressed you in warm clothes and took you to a coffee shop. It was nicer than you thought it would be, not only because you went outside, but because your talks with Fyodor were pleasant.

By the time you left the coffee shop, it was getting dark, but you convinced Fyodor to go to a local bookstore and buy some books. It wasn't for you to read it (you didn't understand Russian and Fyodor had never tried to teach you so you couldn't communicate with others), it was for Fyodor to read it to you, it was an activity that, surprisingly, you enjoyed very much. You left the bookstore with a book of poems whose cover caught your attention.

Walking on your way home you heard high-pitched meowing coming from an alley, you stopped your steps and, consequently, to Fyodor, who was holding your hand.

"What is it, милый?"

"I heard meowing." Your gaze did not move from the alley.

You let go of Fyodor's hand and headed down the alley, Fyodor followed you closely until you reached a cardboard box lying on the ground.

You bent down and opened the box to find an orange furred cat, it was about the size of your hand and very thin. You wondered what kind of horrible person had abandoned such a cat.

You petted it and the cat reacted affectionately, rubbing its head against your hand. You laughed at the action and turned your head to see Fyodor standing behind you, still standing. "Please, Fedya, let's keep him."

Fyodor wasn't a big fan of cats, or animals in general, it wasn't that he hated them, but he preferred not to have pets. But there you were, begging him for an abandoned cat, and, well, you were being on excellent behavior, so he needed to give you a reward, right?

"Okay, but you'll be the one to take care of it." You nodded quickly as you grabbed the cat, pulled him against your chest, and covered him up as best you could with your coat.

The two of you walked out of the alley, you were petting the cat's little head as you smiled. Fyodor just looked at you, appreciating how cute you looked when you were happy. He thought that, perhaps, he could do more things to see that smile of yours more often.

#bsd x reader #bsd x you #bsd fyodor #fyodor #fyodor x reader #fyodor x y/n #fyodor x you #yandere fyodor #yandere #yandere bsd #yandere bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungou stray dogs #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd

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not-poignant · 2 months ago

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Hello! I apologise if you’ve already talked about this before and I just missed it, but if you don’t mind me asking, do you experience brainfog from your fibromyalgia (or other conditions), and if so, do you have any tips on dealing with it? I have FM as well and often find it impossible to focus on creative works when it’s bad—which is often due to the weather where I live 🫠 I feel like I can never finish anything, so I’m in awe of your output! Thank you in advance if you get the chance to answer; I hope you have a lovely day / night!

Hi anon,

I find brain fog is a pretty huge spectrum from 'can't do anything including watch TV / play video games' all the way to 'can't do executive function / editing but can probably still write a little.' So it's definitely different for everyone.

That being said, I don't try and write through brain fog. I don't think it's helpful and I don't really try and 'fix' it when it's there. Most of the time I take it as an indicator of a need to rest and/or a sign that I'm in a flare that will get worse if I push too hard. One of the reasons I took March off was because I typically am sunk energy-wise/health-wise during March-April (and October-November) due to the seasonal transitions from summer-winter and winter-summer.

The way I work accommodates this. For example, I don't have a daily wordcount, I have a monthly wordcount, so that if I need to take say 10-15 days of not writing because I'm too unwell, that's okay. I don't work full-time hours. Chapters don't actually take me that long to write (with the exceptions of sex and other action scenes), so I really only need 2-4 hours of alertness to get each one written.

I usually have a good idea in the morning of how foggy I'm going to be. And if that's the case I'm trying to get better at not fighting against it. Instead of thinking 'how do I deal with it' I think okay, it's here now, I'm going to get nothing really done today, I might go lie down again / play a mindless video game (if I can) / etc. I try and let my brain and body rest. It recovers from the brain fog fast that way.

There are also extremely basic things that are frequently overlooked re: helping with Fibromyalgia-based brain fog like: Looking into decent neuropathic or nerve-based pain medications like Amitriptyline or Lyrica (ymmv, but I know they help me). Making sure you're getting as much decent sleep as you can. Staying hydrated in a very genuine sense (sometimes my brain fog has literally disappeared after drinking enough water, though this is rare that it completely disappears). Eating well, and eating a balanced amount of protein, carbs, fat and fibre (and learning what this means for your body). And, though most of us hate it: Pacing. I.e. Making sure you stop before you're past you're limits, or not writing until you "can't write anymore." Stop when you still have a few paragraphs left in your head.

Writing is very fatiguing work, as is thinking about writing, and editing.

The reality is though, I have the privilege of being in a country where I'm on a disability pension and get disability support because of how disabled I am. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be in a country that takes care of their sick, elderly and vulnerable populations. And not everyone in those countries is lucky enough to have the "right illnesses" to access those supports. (Fibromyalgia doesn't count, for example, but I have enough other disabilities that I can still access support).

I could not live the way I live without those things, and without the support of folks on Patreon and Ream.

What I can say is that forcing myself to deal with / push through brain fog made me permanently sicker each time (my doctors and I think there's an element of ME/CFS in my diagnosis because of those, since FM shouldn't be degenerative in any way at all - literally differentials exist for this reason), so it is really important to make space for it. It took me a long time to learn this.

I schedule sleeps in the afternoon, I am honestly lying down for about 10-16 hours per day, every single day, to get the energy that I have. Yesterday I was in bed (though not sleeping the entire time) from midnight to around 11am. I was back in bed at 2pm until nearly 6pm. That's my life. I'm sure you're familiar, unfortunately. A lot is sacrificed to make sure that when I'm upright and functional, I can do things. If I'm lucky, maybe I'm in bed from 2pm until 4pm, maybe I get up at 9am, but I can't think of the last time I was awake through an entire day without collapsing (literally) as a consequence.

It can be worth sitting down and taking a proper look into pacing and your Energy Envelope. It's an ME concept that applies well to FMS and Long Covid.

Anyway hopefully there's something in this mess that helps, though my prevailing method these days is just...let the fog be there, and rest. Make sure you're taking basic care of your body. That sort of thing.

#asks and answers #i'm fully aware that my advice wouldn't apply to someone say #working a full time job and being a full time student #but i've never been healthy enough in my entire life #to even know what that's like #my advice is really for the people already so disabled they've given up on that stuff #i say i'm 'lucky enough' to have the support i do #but no one's lucky to be this disabled #even if i do have some good fortune re: getting support #you still feel the pressure to Do More and Be More #resting enough to take care of yourself is a radical act of anarchism #in this neocapitalist day and age #personal #health

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simmerdowndee · 2 months ago

Text

TWIN TUITION: SERIES PREMIERE PART FOUR

[JORDAN]

I feel so shitty about last night. I genuinely lost track of time. Cai is so mad at me. I know she didn’t yell or argue but I know she’s mad. She barely talked to me the rest of the night and didn’t come upstairs to sleep until like 5 this morning. I’m going to fix this because I don’t like us being distant, at all….

*Cai waking up*

Jordan: Good morning baby. Cai: Morning. Jordan: I made us breakfast. Cai: *still half sleep* what? Jordan: I made us breakfast and I wanted to eat it on the balcony. Cai: You made breakfast? Jordan: Yes, for us. I made your favorite too.

[CAI]

Jordan does not cook, so the fact that he made us breakfast is surprising. I’m still upset with him, but I am hungry, so I’ll go out there with him…..

Cai: Wow, this looks great. Cai: You made this by yourself?

Jordan: Well, Taylor helped me a little….

Cai: A little? Jordan: It was 70/30 Cai: You being the 30? Jordan: Yes..

Cai: *Semi laughs* Jordan: There’s the smile I love so much.

Jordan: I just wanted you to wake up to something you like.. Jordan: I’m so sorry about last night baby, I really am. I genuinely lost track of time. I would never purposely make you wait.

Cai: It’s fine Jordan. I’m not going to dwell.

Jordan: It’s not. I could see it in your eyes last night.

Jordan: I’m making it up to you today. I cleared my schedule for the whole day. Cai: How? You have practice today. Jordan: I told coach I wasn't feeling well. Needed a sick day. Cai: You really are going to spend the whole day with me?

Jordan: The whole day and night baby, yes. Jordan: I’m so sorry again. Forgive me, please? Cai: Well you did somewhat make me breakfast… Jordan: I tried really hard too.

Cai: *Laughs* Cai: Only if you agree to watch anything I want today.

Jordan: We can do anything you want. Cai: I’ll forgive you this time…. You mess up our time together again and I’m telling my dad. Jordan: I will not fuck up again *nervous laughs* Cai: Okay, let’s eat!

[CADE]

Last night when we left Ava’s, I figured we’d go back to our night but Taylor decided to just go home. She said she was tired and would rather just relax at home. She was also very quiet once we got home.

Cade: Hey, babe. You’re up early….

Taylor: Yeah, I'm going to head into work. Cade: I thought you were off today?

Taylor: I was, but I decided to help with a catering order. Cade: Oh, okay… Cade: Babe… Taylor: Yeah.. Cade: Is something wrong?

Taylor: I feel like last night was planned.

Cade: What do you mean? Taylor: I think Ava purposely interrupted our date. Cade: Why would she want to do that? Taylor: Cause she doesn’t want us to be together. Cade: I don’t think she’d make up a lie to interrupt our date babe… Taylor: Of course you don’t, you always take her side.

Taylor: Also, the police never came. Wasn’t she supposed to call them? Cade: Maybe she forgot because she was scared. Taylor: Yeah, right. Taylor: I’m going to get ready.

Cade: Okay, I can’t wait until you get back. I love you. Taylor: Love you too.

*Taylor heads to shower*

Wow, no kiss or hug. She’s seriously upset about last night. I don’t think Ava would lie just to ruin our date…At least I hope she wouldn’t…

It is strange the police never came….

*a few hours go by*

Taylor is on her way home from work. I prepared something intimate for us because I owe it to her. Our date was cut short and it was basically my fault for answering her call…

*Taylor comes in the room*

Taylor: Babe… what’s going on, why is it dim here? Cade: I drew you a bath. Taylor: A bath? Cade: Yes, a bath. You’ve been working really hard and I wanted you to relax… Taylor: Uh yeah, let’s take a bath. Taylor and I head in our bathroom. Taylor: Oh babe, this is really nice. Cade: You get in, and I'll rub your head. Taylor: Get in with me.

Cade: You sure? Taylor: Yes.

Taylor and I relax in the tub for a bit.

Cade: Baby. Taylor: Yeah? Cade: I’m sorry about last night, ruining our date. Cade: I should’ve just ignored the call. Taylor: It’s fine. You were being a good friend. I can’t be upset about that… Cade: But not that great of a girlfriend… Taylor: You’re an amazing girlfriend. Cade: Really….

Taylor: Absolutely. Cade: Is that why you went in today? Cause you were upset with me? Taylor: I wasn’t upset with you specifically but the entire situation. I just needed to focus on something to keep me from becoming angrier.

Cade: Baby, can you hear me, please? Taylor: I’m listening. Cade: Regardless of how she feels about me, I only want to be with you. I love you. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.

Taylor: I trust you, Cade. Taylor: I love you too.

Cade: Also, I’ll always take your side first. If you ever feel like I don’t, I'm sorry. I don’t want you to feel that way. Taylor: I’m sorry for saying that. I know you do. Cade: Now can we enjoy the rest of the day together? I just wanna kiss your face.

Taylor: *Laughs* You just wanna kiss all day? Cade: I mean I can kiss multiple things…. Taylor: You know that actually sounds great. Cade: *Laughs* Taylor: I love you. Cade: I love you too.

I’m so happy we’re good now. I never like arguing or being upset with her. I hope she believes me when I say I’m all hers.

Now as for Ava… I really want to know if she planned to ruin our date. Taylor was right, the police never came….

#my sims #simblr #sims 4 #the sims #the sims 4 #thesims4 #ts4 simblr #sims 4 gameplay #simblog #twintuition

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lazy-bunny-writing · 13 days ago

Text

Fat Little Lamb: A Horror Story

The fridge light on the tiled kitchen floor feels like a gateway to indulgence. A place of freedom, where she cannot hear me scavenging leftovers like a rabid dog. My knees give into its glory; I kneel and pray for forgiveness. I pray for my gluttony to only be a sign of my growing body, not my selfishness. My stomach, a boundless pit begging for every carb, fat, fibre, and protein my tongue can salvage. The sludge I devour finds solace in my rotting gut. My fingers engulfed with my greed, meet the mouth she so wishes to close. My mother will find the carnage. She will prosecute me, peeling my flesh from its source, leaving me to look like an incomplete puzzle. I will rid of myself, separate my skin, isolate it until she grants me peace.

Needle and thread

Stitch through your soft cotton skin

Thick and ivory

A mosaic of my little girl

A fat little lamb

The little girl I fixed

Grimy, heavy, unappealing

Mended with a scale and scalpel

Mummy put you back together

I hate mornings. At exactly 6:00a.m, my alarm blares to remind me I need to change my sheets and clean the wrappers off my floor before my mother awakens. She barges in at 7:00a.m to scope out if I hijacked the fridge the previous night. Thankfully, I have learnt to cover my tracks. The times my alarm failed to wake me turned into lessons of sharp edges meeting my skin, with a piece of my back missing. Restriction was expected too. Surviving on rice cakes and cucumbers is not ideal but not eating at all was arguably worse.

“Morning, I’m proud of you Nora. You’ve been really good lately. I’ll allow you a special treat tonight.” Her lips graze my cheek as I pretend to rise from her touch.

“Thanks mum, I’ve been trying extra hard recently”

“Let’s weigh you in for today”

My weigh ins are scheduled for every Monday morning; she takes me to the bathroom and records my weight. It’s our little ritual, our connection. I need to weigh exactly 45kg. That is my supermodel weight. The perfect balance of skin and bone. My weight is the bridge between us. I can keep up my act, until the day she discovers her mutilation of my body does not live in solitude.

Art, my laying masterpiece

Exhibited by sunlight caressing your sleeping body

Awaiting my warm touch

Perfume, your scent overwhelms the air

My lips meet your cheekbones

Lipstick blushing your pale skin

Widened eyes, an innocent smile

You love to see the numbers decrease

I know you’re grateful for me

You know I love you

It only happens at night. After a binge. I started with only little pieces of fat from my midsection. Pieces I could hide. Pieces became chunks. The lard built up in my bedroom closet, becoming pungent. I began buying bandages and bedsheets in bulk. It was only a weekly habit. Until it was every single night. I felt lighter. Relieved. She loves me this way. Raw, barely human. My world is one painted in blood, so much blood. How comforting to cradle oneself? I’m warm, so very warm. Thin and warm. Thin and raw. Fleshless.

I remember how they laughed

Looking at my creation

I wanted to give you the world

I let you eat everything

Indulge in delicacies

Lick your fingers

Your tears flooded my clothes

You wanted me to save you from this disease

Skinniness is cold. Summer is nicer than I remember. The sun caresses my fatless body through my bedroom window, spotlighting glimpses of my ribcage, that I worked so hard to reveal. Every Summer, my mother watched me swim amongst white water and waves, observing from the shoreline. I never wore anything beside a rashie and swim shorts. She thought my body an embarrassment. Their legs were the equivalent of my arm, the other young girls. Stick legs. Flat stomachs. Wearing bikinis.

“Nora, maybe if you start eating less you can wear bikinis too”

I remember how the salt water stung grazes left on my knees from the gravel on my primary school playground. I know the ocean won’t be kind to me now. Salt will burn my insides. Cleanse my blood. Dissolve my bones. Carry me to the horizon, where the sun sinks and the moon rises. Ocean, I wish I could enjoy you again. In a slutty bikini, away from the young girls my mother idolised, who old men lusted over. Now, I would fit into their fantasy. So, uncovered. Completely tender. Untouched.

I found the fridge emptier than before

Invaded by a fucking animal

“I’m sorry, Mummy, I didn’t mean to Mummy”

Whimpers escape your mouth

A necktie holds sticky hands together

One fat face melts into my mattress

I butcher you

Like the animal you are

Slicing your first layer of flesh

You take it like a good bitch

Filling the room with your pathetic voice

You’re so angelic. Perfect posture. Thin, narrow fingers. Your outline imprinted so distinctly in my bedroom corner, calling for my carved body to inch closer. A radiant glow. Blushing cheeks, pale blue eyeshadow behind light blonde eyelashes. You’ve never looked more beautiful, Mummy. Even though I’ve always found you beautiful.

The flesh from my leg sits in my palms. I present to you, my sculptor: an offering. My body. My blood.

You accept. Gently devouring my flesh as my blood stains your lightly glossed mouth. I’m happy to see you enjoying me. Chewing through my tough skin. The bovine skin you raised on the pasture of our home.

You kneel to the floor, meeting my hollow eyes.

“Come here baby. I know you made another mistake. You know the rules.”

My heavy head finds comfort in your lap. Your white lacy dressed, soak by the remaining tears in my eyes.

“Mummy, Mummy, Mummy.” I beg for your boney fingers to rake through my thinning hair. I want them to trace the frame of my new figure. Touch every inch of the body I made just for you. “It hurts, is it enough Mum?” Words of submission finally leave my lips.

“No, baby I could never get enough of you now.”

Your luminescent shine reminds me of your consumption. All I have given to you. All I have fed to you. Disassembled. Unrecognisable. Loved.

Bloodied, beaten, benevolent soul

Bruise clouds painted on your baby fat

They cut your skin, so deep

They wanted to punish your greed

Abandoned classrooms

Pinned down, kicking feet

Juvenile carving

“Fat lambs are butchered; you’re a fat lamb”

It helped you, it made you better

You needed this

You needed to be stopped

I am wolf. A viscous hungry wolf. Eager to tear myself to shreds. I indulge in raw prey. Prying the fridge door from its hinges. Sinking my teeth into plastic wrap enclosing the food I will be forever denied. Licking its ridges, anticipating its toughness. Sharp, fang-like teeth separate the dead organism, giving into further torture. Remains stick to my molars. Pale lips coloured by wine-coloured blood, although appearing more violet in the sterile fridge light.

Crawling back to my den. Cold, I am so terribly cold. Creaky floorboards, crying to be relieved from the pressure of my gut. My den always feels warmer. I claw at my door, begging to be let in. Scratches make their indentations in pink paint. Dragging my body, I’m engulfed in warmth, laying in the fetal position. Blanketed by the rotten aroma. Little hooves dance on the decaying floor in front of my closet. A fat little lamb stumbles toward me. Long dark hair frames porcelain skin, kissed by the everlasting sun. Pastels conceal her stomach rolls, crinkling Hello Kitty’s face on her tight T-shirt. Her skin feels like cotton under my weak fingers; my nails accidentally graze her hanging belly. She lays beside me, her bowlegs finally succumbing to her weight.

“Where’s Mummy?” Her soft, delicate voice echos through my shallow mind.

“Did they hurt you again?”

“Yes, I want Mummy, who are you?” Her beady little eyes flutter, trying to see my skeletal face through tear-clouded vision.

“I’m you. Mummy hurts us now. I don’t want you to see her.”

“I don’t believe you.” Snot dribbles from her button nose, accompanied by sniffles, cute innocent sniffles.

“She loves our body, not us. I’ll ensure she cannot love again.”

“What will you do?”

“Something that will hurt her, like she hurt us.”

My fur-coated arm, concealed by dried animal blood brushes past her round sun-like face. She’s so plump, ready to devour. Tender, scarred, juicy skin. I want to lick her up, rip her apart and consume her. She inches closer, my arms enclose her chubby body, reuniting our hearts. She fits her face into the nook of my neck, finding comfort in the distant scent of decay deriving from my closet.

My body and blood. My little lamb. I crave to fill myself with you just to protect you from her.

I lay in your bed

Tossing and turning in your scent

The smell of your decaying body

My favourite smell

The blood stains engraved into your mattress

I raised an artist

The closet concealing your flesh

My domain of indulgence

I take a piece of you each day for myself

Running my nose against your blackening skin

My Nora, I’ll forever want you all to myself

My thin little lamb

Mother, you found me. After all this time of playing hide and seek, you finally found my secret spot. You have complete custody of my body. Complete and unconditional reign. You have everything you’ve ever wanted. You stare at me; from the haven I built to hide the only control I possessed over myself. I am no longer human. No longer sentient. You always wanted me dead. Just to finally own me. Love has never lived within these walls, haunted halls lined with my wails of pain, at the hand of your scalpel. I am merely an amalgamation of your imagination.

“I knew this would help you.” Malice fills the eyes of a woman I once thought would simply protect me from myself.

Behind my exposed ribs, a kitchen knife rests in my palm. My boney, skeletal feet melt into the freezing cold floorboards, sending chills up my vulnerable spine.

“You’ve never looked so beautiful baby. I’d like to see those bastards laugh at you now.”

“You don’t love me, Mummy.” Her face, in utter disbelief of the words I can barely let out of my mouth before revealing my blade, stabbing her in the eye. Her screams, are eerily familiar to my own. Gut wrenching, excruciating. Blood, red thick blood splatters across my white curtains and bedsheets. The knife twists, cutting any cord connecting her eye to her deplorable brain. She barely resists me. She accepts me. She accepts this reality. Finally. Singing a lullaby to me. Once sung to me as a baby. Soothing me. Retrieving the knife from her eye, I place it into her heart repeatedly. Blood, so much blood.

“I do love you, the closet.” Her last words. Hauntingly specific.

Her heavy head, fractured by my blade, collapses into my arms; almost breaking them. I lick my lips, smelling her rich blood all around me. Her flesh, so tender. My teeth meet her butchered body, ripping her ligaments, gnawing at her fat. I want to keep her for leftovers; she’s my first meal in years. She would want me to use a knife and fork. I want to lick my fingers clean, savour the taste of her pure organs on my tongue. The taste of freedom.

I’ll put her in the freezer, binge on her body. Her closet door is open. Her last words echo. My heavy body drags, slowly reaching the oak. Inside, a quilt. Made solely of my skin. Young flesh. Old flesh. My freckles, illustrate a constellation across the fabric of my flesh. I hold up the work of art. I never knew my body could look so beautiful, disassembled this way. I wrap it around my shallow waist, filling myself in. Mother, my tailor. Mending me back together, you love me, you really love me.

My job is done

You found yourself again

Like I knew you would

How I miss your chubby fingers

Digging into meaty burgers

Tearing my flesh

Feed on me forever

Fill yourself up with me

Feast on the body I prepared just for you to enjoy

I’ll find you once more

My fat little lamb

#writing #poetry #prose #horror #story #psychological horror #scary #disturbing #lamb #mental health #mental illness #surrealism #postmodernism #cannibalistic #hybrid #fear #trending #short story

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