#I really like Christmas in theory and this will be the first one where we're living on our own and not in the middle of moving in or out

[running-in-the-dark]

Well. I somehow got almost everything done for my birthday party tomorrow. Except. I've now fucked up my back so bad that every little movement hurts. A lot. Which is wonderful timing, right before my birthday and Christmas 😭😭😭

[thebestofoneshots]

SERIES MASTERLIST

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Summary: You meet Sirius and Regulus at a family vacation in the Caribbean, but things don't go as planned and you end up losing contact once the trip is over. Years later your family moves to England and you get accepted at Hogwarts where you finally meet Sirius once again, along with all of his friends. One of them with a mysterious secret, that you'll uncover as you embark on your own Hogwarts adventure. Mostly canon-compliant. This IS a wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it.

Read Gilded Constellations on AO3

Read the French Translation by @nagareboshi-chiyo

Paring: Sirius Black x Reader / Remus Lupin x reader / Wolfstar x reader

Chapter average: 5k - 6.5 k

Content: Smut in later chapters, Poly!Marauders, throuple, graphic descriptions of violence, MAJOR and minor character death (this is The Marauders Era guys, you know), jealousy, angst, pining, love triangle, LGBTQ+ themes, The Wizarding war 1.0, implied child abuse, possible proofreading errors, mental health struggles, hurt no comfort, hurt with comfort, period typical attitude, first war with Voldemort, canonical character's death, fluff, Requited Love, F/M/M, mostly canon-compliant.

Status: Ongoing (Weekly updates)

♡ Indicates SMUT

PLAYLIST

01 | Summer Breeze

02 | Escape

03 | Bitter Sweet Symphony

04 | Rainy Days and Mondays

05 | Good times

06 | Crazy Little Thing Called Love

07 | Peaceful Easy Feeling

08 I Fooled Around and Fell in Love

09 | The Fairy Feller's Master-Stroke

10 | Black Dog

11 | Do Ya

12 | You really got me

13 | Rebel, Rebel

14 | Maybe I’m Amazed

15 | No One Like You

Interlude (Q&A Event)

16 | Boogie Wonderland

17 | Tonight’s What It Means To Be Young

18 | Friends will be Friends

19 | Silver Bird

20 | Bad Moon Rising

21 | Fox on the Run

22 | Long Long Way From Home

23 | Hungry Eyes

24 | Peace of Mind

25 | I’ll get Even With You

26 | Hooked on a Feeling

27 | Can’t Take My Eyes Off You

28 | If You Want BIood, (You’ve Got It)

29 | With a Little Help From My Friends

30 | Bridge Over Troubled Water

31 | Strange Magic

32 | Come a Little Bit Closer

33 | More Than a Feeling

34 | You Belong to Me

35 | Chill of Desire

36 | Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy

37 | Gimme, Gimme, Gimme

38 | Let the Good Times Roll

39 | Running With the Pack

40 | Hot Stuff

41 | Urban Adventure

42 | Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

43 | Sympathy for the Devil

44 | No One But You

45 | Hold The Line

46 | Comfortably Numb

47 | Let Me Take You Home Tonight

48 | Dust in the Wind

49 | High Hopes

50 | Love the One You're With ♡

51 | Some Guys Have All The Luck ♡

52 | Twentieth Century Fox

53 | Too Much Love Will KiII You

54 | Sail Away Sweet Sister

55 | Noone Together

56 | Who Wants To Live Forever

57 | Play the Game

58 | Staying Power

59 | Break on Through

60 | Stone in Love

61 | Mr. Blue Sky

62 |

63 |

64 |

65 |

66 |

67 |

68 |

69 |

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BONUS TRACKS:

Your Theories, The Note, The Costumes, Sirius and the Chimney, Sirius and Vix after the bad moon, Evans and Vixen, Remus and Vixen at the infirmary, Remus holding Sirius at DADA, Remus and Sirius’ height difference, the FOXSTAR picture, Art by @nineloseteeth, We're going French,

Leave a comment telling me if you want to join the tag list

A/N: Most Poly!Marauders fics are oneshots, where the relationship between characters is already established, and they're all happy and pleased with it. No issues, no drama, but I WANTED the drama. Couldn't find it, so I set myself up to write the story behind the stablished relationship. I wanted to know how they started dating each other, the jealousy, the will they won't they, because getting into a poly relationship can't be an easy task, and I wanted to explore that story. If you're interested: Welcome to Gilded Constellations!

[jazeswhbhaven]

A Christmas beneath Heaven | React | Days: 4 & 5

Okay, so it made sense to do a 3-day and then the others a two day react per post. (I just hope my masterlist doesn't end up too many links for the reacts lol)

SOOO we left off with learning that MC has the Christmas Cold which causes them to be overly horny due to them holding back their desires and being in Hell as a human. We also know that Solomon had it and a devil cured him of it before. It also appears that Bael found the devil that knows of the cure!

But uh.....you see

The devil is an old like really old woman. We're talking like imagine gran gran is in her 80s-90s old in human standard where she talks r e a l s l o w.

And it turns out, not only are our boys seemingly impatient (Beelzebub especially like he's nearly pulling his clothes off out of waiting on her answering how to heal MC), they also seem to be judging her physical appearance very harshly.

Which doesn't make a whole lotta sense to me because aren't they old asf? I guess they haven't reached that point where they have wrinkles or grays or maybe they don't have that ability to age physically because they ARE kings after all.

Anyways, gran gran is trying her best to explain, but no one is having it so Ppyong is here to try and help.

I also noticed twice during these days that Asmodeus was calling her "mature" in a flirty way, because he pretty much flirts with anyone and gran gran is on his list.

Ppyong finally gets some kind of headway with her, and it turns out...her clan just has a condition where they age very quickly. She later includes that not only does her clan age in appearance quickly they don't live as long.

Knowing this information though, uh...doesn't help the matter because Belphegor of all devils starts laughing it up that she looks like that and he's imagining everyone looking so old like that at "young" ages. Though, Beleth has to smack some sense into him because when she mentions dying early Belphie is still laughing about it. SAFE TO SAY THAT BELPHIE HAS THAT KINDA HUMOR YA'LL AND HES STILL MY BBY ITS OKAY.

Asmodeus does his flirty thing, gran gran agrees to meet with him after the meeting, and well Satan blows the fuck up cause he's really just trying to get to the point and it's pissing him off that Asmo is just trying to stick his dick in someone once again.

Ppyong does say that she is aware of the cure, that it's located in "Middle Realm" where fallen angels refuse to believe they are in Hell and are waiting to return as confirmed by Beleth. Belphie asks why Beleth didn't just stay there and he says he doesn't remember (though I'm pretty sure he does to a certain extent and I have this theory that fallen angels have the ability to lie btw, a trait that stays with them from being an angel)

And it seems that the angel they are looking for that knows exactly of this cure is Achazriel, the one who fell before Lucifer, the OG first fallen angel that was forced out of heaven. So naturally, he would have that kind of ability.

Solomon also got the medicine from this area, meaning the Middle Realm has been in existence for quite some time and that would make sense.

Meeting is adjourned with this info and everyone seems to split off (even Asmo and gran gran 👀👀) leaving Beel, Bael, Beleth and Belphie who took his ass back to sleep lol

Bael tries to see if Beel wants to do the same thing, to which no he doesn't. Beleth tells him not to worry about it and he already clocked that the other devils seperated themselves for a reason. Bael concludes it's because they're trying to win MC's favor by curing them first.

Beel knows the real deal. On Christmas day....MC is at their peak meaning that's when they are MOST unhinged in their desires and that's the best time to strike. Everyone is basically waiting until MC is pretty much so horny they can't even think straight, take advantage of that moment and then cure them.

"Waiting until the fruit is ripe" as Beel puts it.

Now....tbh that's such a devil thing to do and I don't even think I can be mad about that considering they want to experience that for themselves. But something tells me that none of the kings are going to experience that....moment with MC.

SCREENCAP TIME

This part was sending me, Bael is fucking tired but he would rather not use Asmo's lap because he knows that the fuck that means (his boner would be pokin' him)

Okay ya'll rude asf, leave her a looonnneeeeeeeeeeeee

Asmo called her mature in appearance probably in a horny way and Bael was like

Beel was so impatient he was being this dramatic. Gotta love a drama queen. but dats my boo.

Belphie. pls babes. Just go back to sleep.

LOL. He hates Beel, can't stand him apparently but is willing to take one of his nobles for himself. You ain't slick Levi...(you just want your bestie and you to share it's okay)

Bael is always so tired of his shit lmao, I just wanna run him a hot bath and give him a massage like, let's melt all that stress away...

Belphie....again babes just go back to sleep.

Asmo being like-

him @ Asmo rn

Sorry ya'll but this description of his voice....fine asf I swear like bring all of that over to me now

Proof of why I think fallen angels have the ability to lie ^^^^^^

This is hot of him idk let's boil our enemies in gold

titty cameo

Thanks Ppyong kicks him into a wall 'playfully'

The fact that he can see that far is wild but he also can probably smell them too. Everything about him is....just him.

And there ya go~ the next two days for part one will probably be them going to the Middle Realm. LETS PAUSE FOR THEORY TIME

I honestly think how this "trying to bang MC when the cold is at it's peak" won't happen. With normally how these events go they will attempt but something hilariously funny will happen where MC just sweats it out and they don't need the medicine after all or "someone else" got to them first and it's pretty much none of them. Lol

Let's see what the results bring hm???

[petermorwood]

Microwave Sponge Cake (eventually)

Long ago, @dduane and I had a Whirlpool combi microwave - micro, grill, fan oven - and It Was Great, big enough to use as a proper oven when what needed cooked in a proper oven was small enough that powering up the big proper oven in the cooker was a bit much.

Still with me...?

IIRC it was one of those Christmas presents where Mum, ever-practical, told us; "get yourselves something really useful but not too expensive (I did say practical!) and I'll go halves."

In 2016, after something like 15 years of pretty-well daily use for one thing and another, the old thing expired by stages, micro first, grill second, oven last - it made great bread up until the end - and went to recycling heaven.

*****

We couldn't find a one-for-one replacement (we needed a free-standing counter-top appliance, everyone was selling built-in), so until once was available (optimism) we bought an ordinary microwave.

NB, this and its successors were only used for ordinary microwave things like reheating, defrosting and dealing with freeze-cook stuff. They got nothing like the amount of use of the old combi, mostly because of being incapable of doing a lot of it. As things turned out, this didn't help much.

About eighteen months later, we had to buy another. If a microwave's enamel interior develops a crack (to this day I don't know how), moisture gets in, rust begins and the enamel pulls off the bare metal. That's when you get "sparking".

This demo is deliberate; believe me, when it's unexpected it's even worse.

A private welder show or lightning storm at the end of the kitchen counter when all you want is a hot cuppa is distinctly unsettling. Also, it's only going to get worse, and we could imagine - boy, could we - what "Much Worse" might look like.

To the recycle dump!

(NB, micros with stainless steel interiors don't seem to do this, probably because they're already tuned to deal with the bare metal.)

The replacement, another ordinary micro, Just Up And Died after eighteen months and, guess what, the quote for a check-up and replacements-if-required was as much as the price of a new one.

(Inkjet printers seem to operate on this principal too.)

To the recycle dump again!

We got a third new one (which BTW is still running just fine, because it's been downgraded to Extra, read on), totalled up what we'd spent on ordinary microwaves, said a few well-chosen words about planned obsolescence and the "Vimes 'Boots' Theory of Economic Inequality" and got ourselves a pre-pay credit card whose top-ups were dedicated to Get A Combi Again.

We didn't bother with GACA baseball caps.

That would have been silly.

I don't know if these cards exist in the USA; we treat them as the modern version of a piggy-bank...

...except that to get at the money you need two people acting in accord.

*****

And in 2021 we got one.

Okay, this next bit is going to read like an ad.

It isn't, because the appliance is discontinued. (Whirlpool FINALLY do something similar but not identical.) It's just enthusiastic users discovering there's even more to a gadget than expected.

*****

The New One even bigger than the old one, which had 28 litres capacity; the new one was 33 L (was .99 ft³, is now 1.16 ft³). In non-tech terms, wow, More Room To Cook In.

Reading the figures was no help (to me, anyway) in visualising what a maw the thing had, but opening the door did that and no mistake.

I said something to DD about "bite radius"...

...and she instantly responded with "anyway, we delivered the bomb".

We're a quotesy household. ;->

BTW, The New One does a very good job on seafood, too...

*****

Since we got this, almost exactly two years ago, we've used it from reheating tea to roasting meat to making chilli / goulash / stew / curry (you can run the oven / grill separately or add simultaneous zaps of microwave for much less cooking time) to baking bread.

One of the best things about it is that when the set cooking time is done, the appliance switches off automatically. No risk of busyness, absent-mindedness or out-in-the-garden-ness ending in clouds of smoke, ruined food and possibly even worse.

As for breadmaking, it has a dough-rise setting which is a Time Machine, reducing a two-hour "doubled in size" rise time to about 35-45 minutes...

It also has the most reliable Defrost Butter setting either of us have ever encountered, turning a rock-solid butter brick from the freezer into something spreadable while never - to date - doing the "never mind a butter-knife, give me a spoon or a paintbrush" thing.

*****

However...

There's also a "Chef Setting" where there are some simple recipes. Here's the pastry page.

Basically, you assemble and mix the ingredients, input the correct settings and the machine does all the timing, heating and cooking.

We'd never used this until yesterday, when DD said, "Let's try the sponge cake..."

Yes, this post was entitled "Microwave Sponge Cake (eventually)..." and here we are...

We did all the measuring correctly and checked it by pouring the mixture into a baking container while on the scale, wondering betimes why the recipe says 900g, the ingredients total 925 and what actually poured into the container reads 906... Weird. Really weird.

Then we put the container into the oven, entered the correct code, and let things do what they were going to do.

A little later we discovered something else about the recipe besides a weight anomaly.

It didn't mention the required size of the container. Or or how much the mixture was likely to rise.

It rose...

Let's say more than we expected...

The fluted ceramic container used for baking this one makes it look like a Vesuvius cupcake; not quite a pyroclastic flow, but a lot of flow regardless.

Once it cooled we separated the sponge-cake from the escaped sponge in the same way as sculptors work with wood or marble - "Chip away everything that doesn't look like a cake" - and found that despite its misshapen looks, it tasted pretty good.

So today DD made another, this time using a larger container.

...and this time it stayed put until removed using the cunning base-and-lifting-straps of baking parchment.

It's not the loftiest or best-risen sponge cake either of us have ever seen (a smaller-diameter higher-sided container would probably deal with that) BUT if there's something needing sponge cake in a hurry - this went from cupboard ingredients to done and cooling in less than 55 minutes - that treatment seems to fit the bill.

We're now wondering what other secrets lurk in the simple recipe pages; falafel, quiche Lorraine, stuffed peppers, even Flammkuchen* from scratch.

(*Though I have my own views about Flammkuchen, mostly involving a plane flight...)

And we'll be paying a lot more attention to what size of dish we put them in. :->

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

behold, sausage not beating the watcher allegations that he started for 5 minutes. and this isn’t even including my absolute string board theory about his new life ending.

video transcription below the cut

Clip 1: Sausage is at the Vigil in Pixandria.

Sausage: Ok, really quick, I'm glad we're here. We're gonna pay our respects for all the death that's gonna be happening, uh, in that other reality. [Cut]

Alright, really quick, oh! I have candles here. One second- this is cool! I actually wasn't planning on this. Le- let's see. We have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14. Oh! Perfect number, actually. I guess we can add this to the Vigil! 14... Let's do one here, one here, let's go... boop! Perfect. 14 of them, man. Let's do another one there. This shouldn't mess with space time or anything. This might be the past, but that's fine. I've done this so many times, it's not gonna ruin anything. Ah, there it is. Let's do another one there, perfect. You guys can figure out which candles' for who, hehe. And let's- let's leave this side open, let's do it on this side. Oh, perfect. Let's light 'em all for the deaths that happened today and last time. 1, 2, 3, 4- I'll leave that one. 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13. Perfect! Alright. Now let's bow our heads, right here. Oh, screenshot moment! Everybody, a moment of silence for our lost, uh, brethren who have met their demise. But at the end, one did- did win, right? I don't know who that one was cause I haven't gotten that spoiler yet, but, one is alive, at the end. Rest in peace. [Cut]

o7s in the chat for all the death that happened. This is a safe space to cry, but it's okay. Because at the end, there must have been a winner. Time runs out for everybody, everyone. Time runs out for everyone. All we gotta do is just sit back and watch. And maybe listen. But I don't wanna hear any whispers out there, you guys talk with your chest because at the end, it's fine! It was worth it, it was a good fight. May they rest in peace, all the fallen. Especially Jimmy. Dying first. Canary curse, forever and ever.

Clip 2: A screenshot

Clip 3: Sausage is in his church for Bdubs in Sanctuary

Sausage: And I did throw in that that was Cleo, because that was just funny when he said his mom was calling him, so I had to do it. Uh, it's almost like my character knew that happened, somehow. [Cut]

Ah, yes. I'm not a Watcher! Ask Martyn, he can confirm.

Clip 4: Jimmy is flying around his Christmas world

Jimmy: -one. [reading Sausage's chat message] "Jimmy! Really weird thing I saw last time I was online but I forgot to ask, if you go into the first igloo, stand in the door and look directly to the opposite s- side of the mountain"? [Cut]

Here... [Jimmy sees the Secret Keeper remake and goes silent for almost 30 seconds. He gulps and then stays silent for another 15 or so seconds] I'm not pressing any of these buttons. I'm not- I'm not pressing any of these buttons! Don't tell me that's me! [A few seconds of silence] What in the-? [Another few seconds of silence] No, the buttons don't work. [He presses a button] Good. This is where the server just blows up, [laugh]. Well, that's odd. Genuinely, I don't know why- how th- how that is there. I think it's Sausage playing pranks on me. He knows I have nightmares, still, about this fella.

[intuitive-revelations]

Retrospective notes and what to keep an eye on after The Legend of Ruby Sunday

I started writing this while watching through a second time. While my thoughts were still a bit random and out of order, I've edited them into something that makes a bit more sense to read through.

Susan:

A little bit weird at first that Ruby asks why the Doctor doesn't recognise his own granddaughter, given that she doesn't know about regeneration yet and Susan Twist is clearly not mixed race. After thinking for a second, I realised she probably just immediately reconciled this as an adoption scenario, especially with her own family and history.

I've posted seperately about my feelings on the retcon of Susan's origins, but I am still surprised we're going this direction. I also find the wording a little bit questionable, as the Doctor makes it sound like he hasn't had children before, when he 100% did.

A Susan misdirect being linked to the word TARDIS is excellent though, given that she claimed to have come up with the word. (People freak out about what this means for her origins, but I don't see why it can't just be that she's responsible for the English acronym translation convention, which then passed on to all of human history thanks to the Doctor's travels.)

We didn't get Susan this time round, but such a massive red herring implies that RTD is planning to build up to such a thing for real, right? I assume we'll also be talking more about her next episode / in Tales of the TARDIS.

I also mentioned this in my live notes, but I quite like the Doctor's justification for not going back to Susan. It makes sense on its own, but takes on a whole new meaning in light of what happens in Big Finish (even if you do need to slightly nudge the meaning to make sense, and admittedly it still clashes with her participation in the Time War).

The Time Window and Misdirections:

Slightly put off at 'time window' being used as terminology for UNIT's tech when that's been used for actual time portals in-universe before.

Liked all the mentions of chronons though. Need to combine that and "N-dimensional time" into an actual pseudoscientific theory of time physics in Doctor Who with artron energy etc.

The Time Window is also totally how we get the Memory TARDIS, right? I'm guessing that's why the Doctor sent Ruby there, so she can escape into it (though I don't know what that will look like given Tales of the TARDIS surely won't be essential viewing). I wonder if that means the Doctor we'll see in that won't be the real one?

Super sneaky making the time window the 'secret from the Third Doctor era' that is revealed that was teased. Not a lie, but really teases something different to what we got.

Actually, in general kinda mixed feelings about the sheer level of misdirection is this story. You've got the above, all the focus on Susan, maybe the 'Beast', literally playing the Saxon theme (The Master Vainglorious). Seemingly also the thing about where people were stood on Christmas Eve… though I am going to check to see if there's something about the TARDIS / Sutekh. That being said, I'm guessing we're coming back to this, as the pointing isn't really explained yet.

RTD also said the script opened "INT. COFFEE BAR, USA - DAY, 1947" but we clearly never got such a scene. :/

On the other hand, all the playing around and subversion with anagrams was a lot of fun. Very much riffing off of DW tropes. Very funny also that UNIT would immediately pick up on the S Triad thing, given their and the Doctor's history with the Master's own aliases.

Sutekh and the Pantheon

Super intrigued by everything regarding the Pantheon in this episode. So we've got members:

Sutekh: God of Death. The Oldest One / The One Who Waits, the Mother and Father and Other of them all. The Toymaker: God of Games. The Trickster: God of Traps. Maestro: God of Music Reprobate: God of Spite. The Mara: God of Beasts. The Three-Fold Deity of Malice, Mischief, and Misery. Gods of Skin, Shame, Secrets Incensor: Gold of Disaster Incensor's Children - Doubt and Dread. Harbinger(s)

I'm probably too EU-brained, but it feels crazy putting entities like the Toymaker and the Trickster below Sutekh? They're both Eternal/Guardian level, while Sutekh is just an Osiran, powerful but ultimately ephermal. How is he 'the oldest' and the 'mother/father/other' of them all? I guess age could be partially put down to Sutekh's fate in Pyramids of Mars, but actually originating before them doesn't really make sense. I guess he could be an incarnation of a much older being, a bit like the Doctor could be?

However, I also doubt Harbinger is entirely reliable. She's clearly hyping up Sutekh's dominion, so him being the 'god of gods' may not mean much in terms of their origin.

Speaking of which... a lot of allusions to the Devil here, as I mentioned above. Chidozie finds himself in 'hell' and Carla literally calls the shape in the Time Window "the Beast". The security camera is also 66m away (funnily enough, around 73 yards). Add in Gabriel Woolf also playing the Beast in series 2, and you really do have to wonder if there's a connection. If Sutekh and the other Gods really do see him as the same entity as the Beast, then maybe he really could be the oldest of them all.

Side note: "Mother, Father and Other of them all" is great. Connecting the word 'Other' to parentage is also interesting, given we've been talking about Susan...

Going back to the Pantheon - I am now 100% convinced, after theorising before, that we've been meeting members of the Pantheon of Discord.

While there are family connections between some of them, I doubt they really are all related. They're way too distinct for that. But as a loose coalition of malicious god-like beings across the multiverse, it works. Weirdly, it is also reminiscent of some plotlines from the Tenth Doctor Titan Comics. It also feels like the direct opposite of the 'Accord' from the Leftbridge-Stewart series, which was seemingly another coalition of more benevolent deities, including the Azure Guardian. I wonder if they oppose each other?

Some of the namedrops are super interesting too. As I mentioned in my live blog, the Three-Fold deity must be connected to the Six-Fold God, even if just an imitation. Some of the names (eg. Doubt and Dread), being directly named for concepts and emotions, also brings to mind the Menti Celesti.

I also strongly suspect we're going to meet the Trickster again. RTD even foreshadowed as much when he illustrated Now We Are Six Hundred.

Big question is... when did Sutekh become connected to the TARDIS? The latest it could have happened is Wild Blue Yonder, and that would be the simplest explanation... but dialogue implies he's been attached and waiting for longer.

Again, mentioned this in my live notes, but the connection of Sutekh hiding in the "Howling Void" and appearing on UNIT scanners with contradictory information like the Dalek Void ship is an excellent connection. Especially, again, with the possible Hell connection:

RAJESH: And what's the Void? DOCTOR: The space between dimensions. There's all sorts of realities around us, different dimensions, billions of parallel universes all stacked up against each other. The Void is the space in between, containing absolutely nothing. Imagine that. Nothing. No light, no dark, no up, no down, no life, no time. Without end. My people called it the Void. The Eternals call it the Howling. But some people call it Hell.

Does this imply he attached himself to the TARDIS while it traveled through the Void? If so... when was that? Again Wild Blue Yonder is a good candidate, as the TARDIS literally reaches the edge of the universe (at least in some sort of spacetime geometry), but this could technically harken back as far as Journey's End, when the TARDIS last visited Pete's World.

A bit of me is intrigued by the description of Sutekh "whispering, delighting and seducing" the TARDIS, but nothing else indicates the TARDIS was willingly carrying him. Again another sign that Harbinger's speech may not reliable.

Remaining Mysteries

No offence to the people who were all in on the theory, of course, but I'm pretty sure the 'TV' theory is nothing. Especially after this episode. I feel like people latched onto the promo shot for this episode which looked like a TV set and confirmation bias took on from there. That being said, I am ready to eat my words if it somehow comes back to that next week!

(TBF, the TV theory obviously does have some relevance to DW in general, what with the Weeping Angels, Doctor Who exisiting in-universe, fourth wall breaks etc. I just don't think it ever had anything to do with this story.)

So Mrs Flood is confirmed to be something alien or supernatural, after the ambiguity with the Christmas 4th wall break. Simplest answer is that she's also serving Sutekh / the Pantheon, but IDK... she seems different.

Still need to know what's up with Ruby's mum too. Annoyingly, the episode makes it kinda ambiguous if she was pointing at the past Doctor (as per the flashback earlier this series) or at the present one. If the prior, I assume she was actually pointing at the TARDIS / Sutekh?

That damn "worlds with orange skies" line. It's probably nothing, right? But why did we focus on it, complete with musical sting. RTD knows that's significant. Hell, it's specifically significant to Susan, with her talking about Gallifrey in The Sensorites, and Ten recalling it in Gridlock.

Also, unless the soundtrack was lying to us, which it doesn't usually (though I guess isn't unprecendented, with the Weeping Angel theme being used in Day of the Doctor when Osgood realises the statues are disguised Zygons), maybe a Master reveal coming up some point in the future? How though, I have no idea.

[totallynotthedarkreunion]

I have some papa headcannons guys.

Baby's first semi-coherent thought!!! Under the break

Peemo

I don't think about Primo all that much because I know like nothing about him but I like to think that before he was introduced as frontman the ghouls were passing around a rumor that he wasn't like a chill satanist (?) And he like sacrificed babies and stuff. Of course none of that was true but he was still feared until they actually met him and when he wasn't like they thought he was they were all like what the hell. Who are you

The rumors probably arose (along with this HC) from his song lyrics being significantly more Satan-centralized than Nihil's. Like idk if anybody noticed but in comparison to the other albums, Opus basically sounds like "SIX SIX SIX SATAN SATAN SATAN" and honestly I'm here for it

Secondo

Bro definitely has descendants on every continent. I don't think we talk enough about how Terzo is more of a whore in theory but Secondo is a whore in practice. He's just too grumpy to talk about it but he'll sing

Also his ghouls had an obsession with slapping his bald head. Probably part of the reason he was always so grumpy

I feel like he also has asthma and snores loud af when he sleeps. Also he plays golf. My bio teacher said for Christmas he gives people golf clubs that are exactly his size even if they don't play golf so that he can just use them. Secondo would do the same thing

And since infestissumam is about the current presence of Satan I feel like he's the kind of guy to just never think about the past or future. Not in the way that he makes bad decisions (well maybe partially considering the first bullet) but he never talks about what he's going to do after retirement or the history of the ministry, he's focused on the now. Just a thought

Terzo

Okay so. I have a feeling that Terzo despised his big brother. He was like "this bitch doesn't just have a stick up his ass he has the whole tree". So when the mask miscommunication happened I imagine Terzo having his face painted five minutes before the show and when he looks in the mirror to see it looks a little too much like secondo he's all like "what. I need to look cooler than him, can you redo it" and the makeup artist is like you have five minutes. It's this or nothing. So Terzo went on stage anyway and he felt like an absolute fool.

Also because of the title of his album I think about his goals for the band, and usually the thoughts come in the form of a conversation with Omega. They're just chilling one night together while Terzo is still a cardinal and Terzo just out of the blue goes "Omega. I'm going to help this band touch the heavens. We're going to be the best we've ever been when I'm Papa." And Omega is like aw you're adorable now get some sleep you need a nap. But terzo is verging on obsession with being the greatest, grandest, and most lovable and admirable papa there ever was, and he ends up achieving it with such ease that even the ghouls' jaws are on the floor.

Copia

I think sometimes maybe Copia never really wanted to be a Cardinal because of the work that comes with it. He likes to procrastinate and stuff so a governmental-esque job where he has to be motivated and actually do stuff doesnt really suit him very well. He was raised to be a member of the Clergy and didn't realize he had a choice until it was too late. But luckily, once he becomes the frontman of the band, even if it's to Nihil's chagrin, he starts to find joy in his profession with his performances and such.

Anyway that's it. Thanks bye

[ceejaykayess]

I've been thinking hard about where P5T is in the timeline since beating the game. Initially my answer was set by the game's very first scene- the week in between Christmas Day and the New Year. We're told that Shido's already confessed and the Phantom Thieves react strongly to the apparent return of the Metaverse, believing it had been destroyed. Some people take this to mean (or at least write it as) it's post-Third Semester. These people are crazy (all writers are crazy though, that's fine). The main cast are decked out in their school uniforms, including Joker. If it was post-Third Semester then Joker wouldn't have a need to. Thus, I posit Persona 5 Tactica starts on December 26th, the day of Shujin's 2016 Closing Ceremony, one day into Maruki starting to warp reality. As far as the main cast knows, Akechi is in jail after turning himself in as one of Shido's collaborators, not dead or double-dead.

I was so set on this general theory, until I watched the game's last cutscenes. They talk about the events of Persona 5 as being last year. They mention how it feels like it's really Spring now. They are all wearing their high school uniforms. This revelation complicated my process. Unless there's a Japanese custom to talk about the year that's occurred as if it was the previous year instead of just talking about it as the same year, this means the game's conclusion is after the New Year. Of course, the final cutscenes are probably set weeks after the actual events of P5T, given how the news talks about everything and how blaise the PT were. So when's the conclusion set? Post-Third Semester doesn't quite make sense, because again Joker wouldn't have a reason to wear the Shujin uniform. But everything that's going on in the conclusion feels a bit too chill to say that it's set during the Third Semester. Toshiro would definitely be asking some questions- in fact, most of what's going on with Toshiro would probably be actively retconned if it was happening during the Third Semester, even if I think his character development and self-awareness wouldn't be.

I dunno, it's weird, man.

[popculturebuffet]

Transformers: More Than Meets The Eye Retrospective Issue 6: Interiors

Hello all you happy autbots and welcome back aboard the lost light. So there's a few bits of buisness to attend to before we hop back on board after our detour with the Wreckers for some needed context, something i'm glad we did as I forgot this issue is essentially a direct sequel to last stand. While Lost Light follows up on some plot points, this one directly follows up on Fort Max and what he went through… and also ties some other threads into it, one being why Whirl is in court mandated therapy in the first place, the other i'll save as if you have context, it's one hell of a cliffhanger. If your me and you didn't, you just scratch your head a bit.

The first is some great news: Brotoman.exe in addition to paying for the wreckers review is now doubling down on patreon, being my first 10 dollar patreon in some time and thus we'll be covering the issues 2 at a time instead of 1.. and sometimes more if he feels like it. While I have something of a schedule ready, it's flexible, so you can expect AT LEAST two issues a month and sometimes more from here on out. We also plan to thread in the two drift mini series, the second wreckers mini series, and the final wreckers one shot as we go.

Threading things in also leads to the second announcment which is a story thing: As a result of how we're doing this the next two months are going to be a bit different barring Brotoman adding any issues as the next three sets of issues are all something diffrent: We'll be covering the two spotlight issues next month. During Phase 1 of IDW Transformers, they frequently did issues like this, little issues to spotlight one character and help widen the story outside of ongoings, the central mini series and what have you. I liked that system a lot, and it's something IDW was really great at and did later again with TMNT, though with Microseries instead (i.e. a one shot with a neat name). There were only two made for the Lost Light side of things and after this phase they stopped doing them, likely both due to both series being so plot dense it was hard to squeeze them in and the addition of Windblade as a third ongoing likely making it finacially tough. We'd still get a few one shots later on with a christmas special and a revolution tie in, but both are more fun side stories.

Then while MTMTE returns in March, it's for our first Scavengers arc. If you haven't read the series, buckle up and if you had, then you know it means our heroes will take a breather so a new bunch of screw ups from the other side of the forever war can take stage. Finally we'll be covering Chaos Theory, which while intended as a prequel to the Chaos arc that ended the Carey era of transformers and ushered in the MTMTE and RID era, it also serves as one ot this series as it sets up cybertron's past, something that will become heavily important to the series and also stealth introduces Whirl. T

So before things change, we've got a hostage situation to deal with so join me as we spend a lot of time in a therapists office under the cut

We open in Rung's office where Fort Max is in therapy. He's not exactly opening up about G9 despite rung prodding, not wanting to relive his trauma… which as we see had Overlord planning to murder someone every second he didn't reveal the truth. We also find out why Overlord was intrested in Aquetius and thus had max plugged in, as in hindsight , and I kick myself for not thinking of this he had no reason to other than to be a dick, which was probable but didn't seem right. Why would a rogue decpticon care about airing the autobots dirty laundry? That wouldn't get megatron to notice him and fufill his death wish any faster. No he wanted something UNDER IT. There was something else there and having forgotten what i'm chomping at the bit to find out. Point is he's not opening up.

What is open , for now anyways is swerve as they play a rousing game of guess who transformed, which Chromedome is great at though Rewind is usually better. Pipes.. is alive?!

Yeah I was floored by this. While I remember a lot about more than meets the eye, some details just slipped so i'd just.. assumed pipes was good and dead last time but other than being shaky about transforming, for obvious reasons, he's fine… for now. As for where Rewind is he's outside as Tailgate finds out when he sits down, having asked Cyclonus to join them and got the response you'd respect

We also get a hint of how the two met .. at a relinquishment clinic but that's all we ge tfor now

Ultra Magnus walks in… and as you'd expect yells at swerve before dragging him off in chains.. well handcuffs, Rodimus hid the chains for obvious reasons. Fort Max then comes in grumpy.. and just up and shoots pipes. Yeah I forgot about this part.. I knew what he did NEXT… but it's one of the only joys of my spotty memory: sometimes you forget a moment or something, and thus you get to be suprised all over again.

So things then went from bad to worse as we find out in the situation room later that day: Max didn't stop with just pipes, shooting 4 robots we've never heard of on his way out and now holding Rung hostage. Thanks to Blaster, Soundwaves sadly undeerultized autobot counterpart, they have visual. Magnus also stops in and naturally is very I told you so.. and has earned it as he's absoltuely right that the recently traumatized POW should NOT have been carring around his big old gun. HE still probably coudl've done what he's done so far WITHOUT one, granted, but it wouldn't be nearly as easy. Our heroes find a ray of hope though someone's in there with him who Rodimus hopes is a beacon of stablity and calm to help defuse this tense situa…

We also find out why he's doing this besides you know, clearly needing the therapy he's refused to actually take seriously

While what he's doing is not right he's holding an innocent man and whirl hostage to vent his anger is horrible… said anger is understandable. G9 went silent for years and while sure, we know part of it was Megatron's invasion left the autobots barely functoning due to a combination of their numbers being worn down to next to nothing and bad writing, he dosent know that and even if he did.. they stilll sent ONE SQUAD two years later. It's hard not to feel for the guy even as he's holding an innocent bot whose using his thumb microphone to broadcast the sound hostage… which backfires as soon as Fort Max catches on.. and immdeitly uses up said sympathy twice in a row. He assholishly demands Rodimus turn the ship around and refuses to talk to him or listen to the fact their FAR too far from cybertron for that to actually work anyway, and then rips out Rung's thumb.

One final touch i'll note from all this.. the fact Rodimus.. looked sad as he figured out what Fort Max meant. The guy has enough flaws to fill several more issues of this very comic, but it shows he does care and does feel horrible about what max went through.. even if he's not about to aquiese to his demands.

In the medbay for a thankful break Ratchet notices a pattern.. he'll say it later but all the victims.. look like overlord. Not exactly, pipes for instance has a cool visor thing, but they all have purple eyes and light blue and dark blue chasis.

Back at the hostage situation

Whirl just says to kill them already and be done with it, especially since as he put earlier, telling Rodimus to do something he dosen't want to do never works. This does get Fort Max curious.. why is HE in therapy and in the dog house and while Whirl being.. whirl refuses to answer at first, it's telling that when Max threatens to shoot rung he instantly complies. Whirl was kicked out of the wreckers, we'll find out why shortly, and took it "shoot up the place" badly, so hence the therapy. He also reveals a key part of his backstory for the first time

We'll get a more fleshed out version of this soon enough, but for now comnand notice rungs pointing at his model of the lost light.. specifically to where he is.. and to it's window.

Outside the unlikely duo of Swerve and Rewind are re-riviting the ship as punishment: Swirl for his bar, which he figures he'll keep since while Magnus naturally hates it, Rodimus will brush it off, and Rewind for those discs we saw him get back in issue 1, one of our first chekovs guns to get fired. I really should've been counting every time this series foreshadows something. Maybe next time. Point is we find out they were essentially snuff films: heavy casualty battles that sort of thing. Though rewind isn't a monster.. .he just wants to find someone. He dosent' open up who, yet another setup for later, but we will indeed find out. For now our heroes are useful as being outside they can reach the window and pull a gun on the guy pulling a gun.

Back at the office, Whirl continues his story…

This.. is where Whirl really grew on me. At first he just seems like a quippy, trigger happy robot dead pool but actually forced to get the therapy needs…. that's not bad.. but like wade himself finding out WHY he's like that and seeing the heart underneath really makes him more loveable. He just wanted to make watches, lost that, became a thug, and while he clearly again needs help… it's easy to see why he turned out like this. He was only an autobot because Prime saw good in him.. while Whirl dosen't phrase it that way.. that's really how I feel it. Optimus may be many things.. but he's a good bot and while i'm sure not letting megatron gain more followers was a tiny consideration, the fact is knowing him.. he just saw a bot who was lost and needed a better purpose and took him in for that. It's also likely why, however misguided, he tried to end springer: he saw a friend in pain. Granted it wasn't the best call and he shoudln't of done that, but given what Springer had been through emotinally and physically on garrus 9, you can understand why he might try to do a one flew over the cuckoos nest.

Him declaring rung his friend is also sweet and reframes his actions this whole issue. Sure on paper he's putting everyone at risk because he dosen't care if he nor anyone lives or dies.. but in practice, it's kept the gun AWAY from rung. It's kept Max, aside from the whole thumb incident, focused not on harming Whirl's friend.. but on Whirl himself, who can not only take the hit (He earlier took two punches to the face from Max, but likely figures if he gets shot, then it'll force the bots outside to rush in. He's trying to sacrifcie himself to save Whirl. Why he considers him a friend, to close this bit out… is also easy: Most people on the ship see Whirl as an unstable screwup and while it's mildly true… Rung so far is the only person to treat the guy with kindness, humanity and as a person and not just the mistakes that person made or his mental illness. He's someone trying to help who genuinely belives hin him and that's likely barely happened in the poor bots life.

Things then deteroiate fast as Fort notices they aren't moving and is somehow suprised Rodimus hasn't reverserd course because you know.. why would he? Swerve tries to take the shot, but with Fort max under a pillar Rewind is forced to use those snuff films to his advantage.. using footage of Garrus 9. We get a truly heartbreaking sequence afterwords: Rung manages to calm a freaked out max down.. but not wanting to take a chance Rodimus orders the shot. As a result rewind accidently hits poor Rung, while Whirl stabs Fort Max for causing all of this.

So we end rather grimly: Rodimus is clearly wracked with guilt, the art doing a nice amount of the lifting to show this, and wants Max locked down tight by Red Alert… while Drift is concerned as Red Alert's been acting paranoid hearing voices.. but as we learned last issue those voices are real.. and as we see at the close of this one we not only find out what he was hearing.. but just what Prowl had the duobots smuggle on board

I told you overlord would be important did i?

On that cliffhanger we close this issue. I'm pausing the soundtrack reviews for now both due to the increased workload a coming, and because they just haven't been clicking. They've felt like an afterthrought and it's better to just roll out when the issue does. So i'll see you next month for some Decpticon Shenanigans, and till all are one thanks for reading.

[bearpillowmonster]

Smallville S6

We were already aware that this show repeats ideas but does so in different ways. The LexLang train is no longer steamed with Zod's takeover and all but we're getting a bit more of that Clois stuff...wait, you mean to tell me that Lana just leaned into it after Zod? Uh...OK, maybe the ship still sails. They kind of actively try to make you see why it was a bad idea in the first place and what a toxic relationship it enables but whatever, explore it properly, I suppose, just doesn't really give you as much joy, just suspicion. She even adopts some of Lex's personality traits if you know what I mean.

But you mean to tell me that you had all this potential with Zod fusing with Luthor and you just...resolved it in the first episode? I thought we were more aligned with continuity and storyline? At least make it a three part special or SOMETHING. Smh.

Anyways, aside from Clois, it's hilarious how Lois falls in love with every superhero she meets just unintentionally and then I suppose it's the same for Lana and the villains. But to expand on what I was saying about Lana changing- She's kind of entitled. I mean Lex catches her driving his car and she says "I didn't know I had to ask." Like if I had a gf that told me that, she'd be gone. Then she spends a day picking charities for Lex to donate to- UNWARRANTED. Like, sure, he should donate, he has more money than he could ask for but you're really just sitting around trying to figure out ways to spend your bf's money? I'd rather him give up the fortune, at least that way maybe things can even out and everyone gets a slice?

I don't know how I feel about this ship anymore because I feel like it peaked with the Christmas episode and would've been bittersweet for him to realize that it wasn't meant to be. He could fall in love but it would be at the expense of her life. But I also see the other side of the argument where he would challenge that vision to cheat death so...

But theres a lot this season offers, some really good and unique episodes, one that's like a black and white noir (not like the flashback one with Jor-El) there's even an episode that mimics the "Batman is hallucinating and the villains are his psychs" theory. Gotta love it.

Then I find it utterly hilarious that someone just leaves a trail of Oreos everywhere they go. If someone didn't know who he was, he'd really have no story relevance either, which makes it even funnier, just the guy that leaves partly eaten Oreos lying around.

Also the suits suck. Okay, bye.

[laxibbeb]

Hi love!

I hope you have been coping in my absence. This time of silence has weighed heavily on me, and I simply could not resist the temptation to write to you any longer (despite the emails and work waiting for me on my laptop)

I do hope you can forgive me, and to help this process, here are some of my unfiltered thoughts.🙂

Imagine a crackfic that’s ACOTAR from Andras’ POV. It’s one chapter.

(Maybe I’ll make it all internal monologue and still not give him a speaking line) ANYWAY

—

Gill’s slutty fin swoop is everything to me. (And yes I KNOW he’s a fish. The key is to not ask questions)

—

I don’t play an instrument BUT I do sing and almost went to college for that until I changed my mind.

Actually do you count handbells as an instrument? Because I do play those. Also, I’m a huge music theory nerd! (well to be fair, I’m a nerd about a lot of things, but in relevance to this conversation…)

—

Okay, so you have excellent taste in fanfiction. I’ve read some of these already but not all, and I’m making my way through the ones that I haven’t.

I'll give you my favorite fanfictions in time, because again, I'm paranoid my fic recs will give me away

—

As we get closer to December, here’s a few questions.

Do you have any winter/holiday traditions?

Are there any holiday specific foods that you like? (Cookies? Drinks? Other?)

Assuming you’re in a place that has snow, what’s your favorite snow based activity?

—

As always, I look forward to your responses.

With love,

Your Secret Santa

Hello, dear Santa🫀🫀 I hope YOU can forgive ME for my tragic absence due to my awful affliction (i hate covid).

oh my GOD a crackfic about Andras but it's just his inner monologue might actually be a genius move

—

(i would never ask questions, let the one who never wanted to fuck a fish cast the first stone or whatever)

—

i will count anything as an instrument. it makes music, it counts

also, you almost went to college for singing! that's so cool! i always wanted to sing well

—

this is the highest praise and i will cherish that forever 😌 i'm SO busy right now, so currently the fanfiction i want to read just piles up and waits for better times :(

i can't wait for your recs, though (it could possibly give you away even though i'd probably never guess anyway 😌)

—

christmas traditions!! one tradition is so. many. gifts. it could literally be singular tealights packed separately into wrapping paper because we love the unpacking, which i secretly think is hilarious 🤣

another little tradition is - the dogs always get a wrapped gift in the form of some very nice smelling treat

this is poland so another one - we make pierogi from scratch, which is very bothersome (because it takes a long time) but possibly the most fun one

winter tradition-wise i always go ice skating at least once which ties into your question about my favourite winter activity (i'm not very good but last year i learned how to go backwards! i'm very excited to go again this year 🤭) we technically get snow where i live, but not that much of it, we do a little family trip to the mountains sometimes, because everyone likes skiing (that's a bit of stretch, my sister and my father really love skiing lmao, me and my mom are usually just chilling in a bar, pretending that we love skiing)

—

christmas food (the best part, in my opinion)

okay, bear with me here as i translate fish names my favourite christmas dinner food is the common sole (is there a better name? did i just embarass myself?)

another one are apple fritters-esque things, which my grandpa used to make for my mom and now that he's gone my mom continues making them for everyone (which i guess is a tradition as well)

and an obligatory pierogi mention which, as far as i'm concerned, is the best dish to have graced the planet earth (she says as she's eating breakfast pierogi)

i always make cookies! i'm in charge of baking treats and i pick different cookies every year for everyone to try out

—

we're so close to the reveal now because i took eternity to reply AND I'M SO INCREDIBLY EXCITED

see you, dear Santa!! 🫀🤶🫀🤶

[1001albumsrated]

#21: Miles Davis - Kind of Blue (1959)

Genre(s): Modal Jazz

Of all 1001 albums in 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die, Kind of Blue might be the most heavily written about, and likely one of the most talked about as well. If someone says "hey I'm curious about jazz but don't know where to start" (or, in 2024, googles a recc chart), this is unilaterally the starting point. Kind of Blue is the Rome that all jazz roads lead to (and from!). I wouldn't say it's my favorite jazz album, and you can argue endlessly on whether it's the best, but it's without a doubt the most centrally located. The tunes are highly accessible, but possess enormous theoretical depth and showcase exceptional technical prowess from the players. And while sales numbers are far from everything, Miles drove sports cars and dated models for a reason: Kind of Blue is RIAA certified 5x platinum as of 2019, making it the best-selling jazz album of all time by an enormous margin (beating the 2nd highest, Herbie Hancock's Head Hunters, 5 times over; no, I'm not going to count the fucking Kenny G Christmas album or whatever, we're talking real jazz here).

It's also a landmark in the explosion of modal jazz, turning previous hard bop and bebop styles on their heads. You can find more compelling music theory explanations of modal jazz elsewhere (I'm confident there's an Adam Neely video somewhere that does it justice), but the short version is that it moved the focus from a more traditional "this song is in a key, play chords from that key and solo over them in the same key" approach to a more open ended approach of playing with a focus on the mode rather than the key, allowing for a much wider tonal palette for improvisation and creating a wildly different sound (you can think of modes as a both a subset and a superset of keys; they essentially rearrange a key to change the root note it starts and ends on while maintaining the same collection of notes, which in practice can dramatically change the feel of the key and allows for modulation between keys to sound more enharmonic. This is a super simplified explanation, again, go learn about the theory if you want to know more).

To me, this album is an old friend. This is one of the first albums that really made jazz click for me. Like most non-jazz listeners, I felt at the time like the bulk of jazz I heard was either dreadful old man coffee shop music or the sound of toddlers causing a directionless racket in the studio. I remember being in my bedroom as a teenager, listening to low quality rips of these tracks in the early days of YouTube, mind blown at the sounds I was hearing. It was laid back, but still had a lot of motion and technicality, and was deeply evocative. Today, so many years later, I feel the same things I felt then. Kind of Blue is one of those very rare, special albums that simply doesn't wear out. I've heard it a million times and can anticipate every note, but it's still a joy to listen to every time.

The version I'm listening to today is the 2007 Japanese SACD (another fascinating element to Kind of Blue is how radically different the various versions of it out there sound, with different mixes often completely rearranging the soundstage). This edition is one of my favorites; it's still the more modern Mark Wilder mix and benefits from the higher degree of clarity his mix brings, but it has a warmer, more laid back feel to it than most of the other iterations of his mix on various other formats. My chief complaint on his Miles mixes in general has always been that they're overly bright, to the point of Miles' trumpet often sounding harsh, and this is one of the very rare versions of the KoB Wilder mix that feels more natural to me.

I'd also be remiss if I didn't mention the quality of the personnel on this one: the sextet here is an extension of Miles' "First Great Quintet", featuring the dynamite rhythm section of Jimmy Cobb and Paul Chambers, with the impressionistic Bill Evans on piano (and his replacement Wynton Kelly on Freddie Freeloader, as Evans was mostly retired from the band at this point after burning out from the band's rigorous touring schedule), and the all-star sax section of John Coltrane and Cannonball Adderley. All of the players (with the exception of Cobb) were great bandleaders in their own right, and all were top-notch players. We'll see most (if not all) of these folks again on this list, with a few showing up later as bandleaders. This is one of the things that I've always found appealing about jazz: every week is a crossover episode. I'm forever discovering that a player I love played as a sideman on this other album, and the bandleader on that one used to play with this other guy, and so on in a web that seems to stretch out forever. Jazz is far from the only thing I listen to, but it's one of the easiest genres for me to get engrossed in on account of the constant interconnections between players (my obsession with Wikipedia and Discogs diving and biography reading doesn't help).

Also of historical interest is the fact that only a few weeks after recording the final KoB sessions, John Coltrane would return to the studio to record the legendary Giant Steps with his own band; this album, for reasons beyond any and all comprehension or semblance of good taste, has been excluded from 1001 Albums. It's laughable to omit both it and My Favorite Things, both of which are major touchstones in jazz (soloing over Giant Steps, referring to the song rather than the album here, is still a mountain that any serious jazz player will climb today during the process of mastering their instrument). And maybe it's my huge obsession with free and spiritual jazz talking here, but I think there's a strong argument for including at least one of Coltrane's freer post-A Love Supreme albums; his interplay with Pharoah Sanders is spectacular, as is the way he and his wife Alice lock in, and those albums would go on to inform all flavors of "out" jazz and experimental music to come (also, while I'm complaining, it's equally ridiculous to omit both Pharoah Sanders and Alice Coltrane from the book as bandleaders, and doing so really shows the authors' collective ignorance when it comes to any jazz that cuts deeper than surface level).

Ok, I'm done griping about the list (for now). Anyways, Kind of Blue is one of the highest pinnacles of musical achievement, yes you MUST hear it before you die. If you somehow haven't heard it, log off and go listen. You'll thank me later.

Coming up next time: we pivot back to country with the legendary Marty Robbins album, Gunfighter Ballads and Trail Songs (or, for the terminally online, the one with Big Iron on it 😉).

[aspenmissing]

𝙷𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎 (𝙿𝚝 𝟸)

In the music store, Craig is sitting at the counter looking depressed.

"Hey Craig? Remember us?"

"Guys, look I'm really not in the mood to answer any of your questions, ok?"

"Oh, don't worry. We're just here to buy an album, that's all" Y/N says. She flicks through and picks up an album. She talks to Sam and Dean as they approach the counter.

"You know I couldn't figure out what that symbol was and then I realized that it doesn't mean anything. It's the logo for the Blue Oyster Cult" She then turns her attention to Craig "Tell me Craig, you, uh, you into BOC? Or just scaring the hell outta people? Now why didn't you tell us about that house...without lying through your ass this time" Craig sighs.

"All right, um. My cousin Dana was on break from TCU. Ah, I guess we were just bored, looking for something to do. So, I showed her this abandoned dump I found. We thought it would be funny if we made it look like it was haunted. So, we painted symbols on the walls, some from some albums, some from some of Dana's theology textbooks. Then we found out this guy Murdock used to live there so we ...we made up some story to go along with that. So, they told people, who told other people. And then these two guys put it on their stupid website. Everything just took on a life of its own. I mean I, I thought it was funny at first but... now that girl's dead! It was just a joke, you know. I mean, none of it was real, we made the whole thing up. I swear!"

"All right" Sam says softly. Sam, Dean and Y/N turn to leave.

"If none of it was real how the hell do you explain Mordechai" Dean asks Sam and Y/N.

==

Back in their motel room, sounds of the shower running. Dean and Y/N enter and walks over to Sam bed, Dean lifting a packet labelled 'Itching Powder'

"Hey, we're back" Dean calls out.

"Hey, where were you two?" Sam says from the bathroom.

"Oh, we went out" Y/N says, trying to contain her giggles, Dean puts his finger to his lips, shushing her, also trying to contain his laughter. Y/N picks up Sam's underwear from the bed and Dean shakes the content of the packet onto it.

"So, I think I might have a theory about what's going on"

"Oh yeah?" Dean says, still shaking the packet.

"What if Mordechai is a Tulpa?" Sam asks.

"Tulpa?" Y/N asks. Sam emerges from the bathroom, wearing only a towel around his waist.

"Yeah, a Tibetan thought form" The two swing around hastily.

"Ahh, yeah, I know what a Tulpa is. Hey why don't you get dresses, I wanna go grab something to eat" Dean enters the bathroom, smiling at Sam as he closes the door.

"I'm gonna go and get a soda" Y/N says and she leaves. Sam moves his attention between the two then turn to pick up his underwear.

==

The three went to a local diner and Y/N goes over to a table and Sam and Dean gets the drinks.

"There you go gents"

"Thank you" Dean saying taking his and Y/N's coffee. Sam taking his. They make their way to Y/N, Sam grimacing and adjusting his jeans.

"Dude what's your problem?" Y/N asks, slightly smirking.

"Nothing, I'm fine"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah"

"So, ahhh, all right keep going. What about these Tulpas?" Dean asks

"Ok, so there was this incident in Tibet in 1915. Group of monks visualised a golem in their head. The meditated on it so hard they brought the thing to life. Outta thin air" Sam says.

"So?"

"That was 20 monks. Imagin what 10,000 web surfers could do. I mean Craig starts the story about Mordechai, then it spreads, goes online. Not there are countless people all believing in that bastard"

"Now wait a second. Are you trying to tell me that just because people believe in Mordechai, he's real?" Y/N asks. Sam looks uncomfortable.

"I dunno, maybe"

"People believe in Santa Claus-how come I'm not getting hooked up every Christmas?"

"Cuz, you're a bad person. And because of this..." Sam turns to his laptop, showing Dean and Y/N a photo of one of the Hell House symbols.

"That's a Tibetan spirit sigil. On the wall of the house. Craig said they were painting symbols from a theology textbook. I bet they painted this, not even knowing what it was. Now that sigil has been used for centuries, concentrating meditative thoughts like a magnifying glass. So, people are on the Hellhounds website, staring at the symbol, thinking about Mordechai ... I mean I don't know, but it might be enough to bring a Tulpa to life"

"It would explain why he keeps changing" Sam grimaces and adjusts himself again.

"Right, as the legend changes, people think different things, so Mordechai himself changes. Like a game of telephone. That would also explain why the rock salt didn't work"

"Yeah, because he's not a traditional spirit" Y/N says.

"Yeah" Sam says, still fidgeting.

"Ok So why don't we just...uhh ... get this spirit sigil thingies off the wall and off the website?"

"Well, it's not that simple. You see, once Tulpas are created they take on a life of their own" Sam says.

"Great. So, if he really is a thought form how the hell are we supposed to kill an idea?" Y/N asks.

"Well, it's not gonna be easy with these guys helping us. Check out their home page" Sam says, still itching and adjusting. Sam shows Dean and Y/N footage from the previous night.

"Since they've posted the video their number of hits have quadrupled in the last day alone"

"Hmph. I got an idea. Come on" Dean says.

"Where we going?"

"We gotta find a copy store" They rise to go.

"Man, I think I'm allergic to our soap or something" Sam says itching and jiggling. Dean laughs and he walks away.

"You did this?" Dean continues laughing, this time joined by Y/N.

"You too! You're friggin jerks!"

"Oh yeah" Dean says.

"Sorry, Sammy. But Dynamic twins gotta stay work together" Y/N says, following Dean, then followed by Sam.

==

In the trailer park, Ed and Harry sit in a trailer with all their equipment

"No, no, no, forget it. Forget it! I'm not going back in there again"

"Harry. Look at me. Right here. Ok? You are a ghost hunter, ok?"

"I know, but, Ed, I've never seen a real ghost before Ed, like a real ghost, an apparition!"

"This stuff here...this is our ticket to the big time right. Fame, money, sex. With girls. OK? Be brave. WWBD. What would Buffy do. huh?"

"What would Buffy do. But Ed, she's stronger than me" Harry whispers.

"It's ok" There is a pounding on the door. Harry jumps a foot in the air and squeals.

"Who is it?" Harry asks.

"Come on out here guys, we hear you in there" Dean replies.

"It's them!" They stick their heads out the door.

"Ah, would you look at that! Action figures in their original packaging-what a shock"

"Guys, we need to talk" Sam says.

"Yeah, um, sorry guys. We're ahhh, a little but busy right now"

"Ok well we'll make it quick. We need you to shut down your website" Dean says. Ed laughs.

"Man, you know, these guys got us busted last night, spent the night in a holding cell..."

"I had to pee in that cell urinal. In front of people. And I get stage fight"

"Why should we trust you guys?" Ed asks.

"Look guys. We all know what we saw last night, what's in the house. But now thanks to your website there are thousands of people hearing about Mordechai" Y/N says.

"That's right. Which means people are gonna keep showing up at the Hell House, running into him in person, somebody could get hurt"

"Yeah, yeah..."

"Ed maybe he's got a point, maybe...."

"Nope..."

"No"

"We have an obligation to our fans, to the truth" Ed says.

"Well, I have an obligation to kick both your little asses right now-"

"Dean--Dean, hey, hey, just, forget it, all right? These guys ..." Sam sighs "probably bitch slap them both, I could probably even tell them that thing about Mordechai ... but they're still not gonna help us. Let's just go"

"Whoa... whoa..."Ed and Harry say in unison.

"Yeah, you're right"

"Oh well, there loss" Y/N says. The three start to walk away, Ed and Harry trailing behind."

"What you say about...?" Ed asks.

"Hang on a second here"

"Wait...wait"

"What thing about Mordechai you guys?"

"Don't tell 'em Sam" Dean says.

"But if they agree to shut the website down Dean"

"They're not going to do it, you said so yourself" Y/N says.

"No wait. Wait. Don't listen to him, ok? We'll do it. We'll do it"

"It's a secret Sam"

"Look, it is a really big deal all right. And it wasn't easy to dig up. So only if we have your word that you'll shut everything down" Y/N says to Ed and Harry.

"Totally" Sam, Dean and Y/N look at each other.

"All right" Sam says. Dean hands them some paperwork.

"It's a death certificate. From the '30s. We got it at the library. Now according to the coroner, the actual cause of death was a self-inflicted gunshot wound"

"That's right he didn't hang or cut himself"

"He shot himself?" Ed mutters.

"Yep. With a .45 pistol. To this day they say he's terrified of them"

"Matter of fact they say if you shoot him with a .45, loaded with these special wrought-iron rounds -- it'll kill the sonuvabitch" Dean says. Ed and Harry snigger gleefully. Harry spins and bolts back toward the trailer, Ed follows more slowly.

"Harry. Slow your roll buddy. They're gonna know we're excited"

==

In the cafe, Sam, Dean and Y/N are sat in a booth, Sam looking at his laptop, Y/N eating her cake. Dean reaches up to the 3D artwork of a fisherman holding a big fish and pulls the cord. The fisherman's mouth moves up and down and an extremely annoying laugh play. Sam pulls the cord to stop it.

"If you pull that string one more time, I'm gonna kill you" Dean, deadpan, stares at Sam while pulling the cord again. Sam immediately stops, glaring at Dean. Y/N smacks his arm. Dean snickers.

"Come on man, you need more laughter in your life. You know you're way too tense" Sam gives Dean another dirty look. Dean sighs.

"We've learned from reputable sources that Mordechai Murdock has a fatal fear of firearms. All right. How long do we wait?" Y/N asks.

"Long enough for the new story to spread, and the legend to change. I figure by nightfall iron rounds will work on the sucker" Sam holds his beer out to Dean and Y/N, who lifts their own and taps it.

"Sweet" Dean takes a long drink and Sam starts grinning. Dean goes to put the bottle down but it is stuck to his hand. Sam cracks up as Dean stares at it, confused.

"You didn't" Laughing, Sam holds up super glue.

"Oh, I did!" Y/N starts laughing and puts her beer bottle down. She then goes to put her spoon down, but it doesn't come off her hand.

"I should have known" Y/N says with a defeated look, trying to take the spoon off her hand. The twins shake their hands while Sam, laughing, pulls the string to set the fisherman laughing again.

==

Dean, Sam and Y/N enter the Hell house on alert, guns drawn, and begin a methodical search, staying back-to-back. Dean readjusts his gun hand.

"I barely have any skin left on my palm" Dean says, snarky.

"I'm not touching that line with a ten-foot pole" Y/N says. Dean shines his flashlight in Sam's face until he winces, then moves into the other room. Sam and Y/N follow. "So, you think old Mordechai's home?" Y/N asks.

I don't know"

"Me either" A voice says from behind. Sam, Dean and Y/N spins, pointing their guns at Ed and Harry.

"WHOA!! WHOA!!"

"What are you trying to do, get yourself killed?"

"We're just trying to get a book and a movie deal, ok?" Ed replies. From the basement comes the sound of knives being sharpened. Sam and Dean are immediately back on alert "Oh crap" Ed and Harry crowd in close behind Sam, Dean and Y/N with their cameras "Ah, guys, you wanna...you wanna open that door for us?"

"Why don't you" Y/N says. Mordechai bursts through the door holding an axe and screaming. Sam, Y/N and Dean empty their gun chambers. He holds on, then wavers and disappears into mist. Sam, Dean and Y/N wait a beat, then take off to ensure the other rooms are clear.

"Oh God. He's gone. He's gone"

"Did you get him?" Harry asks

"Yeah, they got him?"

"No, on camera, did you get him on camera"

"Ah, ah, I"

"Let me see it, let me see it" Harry takes the camera and flips it open. Mordechai appears, slams his axe through the camera, forcing Harry to the ground and disappears. Dean runs in.

"Hey! Didn't you guys post that B.S. story we gave you?" He asks.

"Of course, we did" Sam and Y/N appears in the other door, gun at the ready.

"But then our server crashed"

"Yeah"

"So, it didn't take?" Y/N asks.

"UH...mmm..."

"So, these, these guns don't work"

"Yeah"

Great. Sam, Y/N, and ideas?"

"We are getting outta here"

"Yeah. Come on, Ed" Harry says, grabbing Ed. Harry and Ed run past Dean to the other room, where Mordechai appears again. Screaming, they run to the front door but it is locked. Mordechai follows them.

"Jesus Mary and Joseph"

"The power of Christ compels you; the power of Christ compels you. THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU" Ed shouts.

"HEY! Come and get it you ugly son of a bitch" Sam says behind them. They fight until Mordechai pins Sam against the wall, axe across his throat.

"Get out of here, now!" Sam says to Ed and Harry.

"We're out of here..." Dean and Y/N are in the other room splashing kerosene everywhere. Mordechai lifts Sam off his feet with the pressure of the axe on his throat.

"Dean! Y/N!" Sam shouts, gasping and the two appears.

"HEY!" The two shouts in unison. Y/N holds up a spray bottle and lights the gas, a plume of fire appears.

"Go, go, go!" Dean says to Sam. Sam runs past them, Dean and Y/N follows, Y/N pulling Sam as he stops and leans over, holding his throat.

"Mordechai can't leave the house, we can't kill him-We improvise" Dean holds up his lighter, flicks it, and throws it back into the room. It bursts into flames and the three run outside.

"That's your solution? Burn the whole damn place to the ground"

"Well, nobody will go in anymore. I mean look, Mordechai can't haunt a house if there's no house to haunt. It's fast and dirty but it works" Dean says.

"Well, what if the legend changes again and Mordechai is allowed to leave the house?"

Well-well then, we'll just have to come back" Y/N says. They watch the house burn.

"Kinda makes you wonder. Of all the things we hunted, how many existed just cuz people believe in them"

==

Sam, Y/N and Dean are hanging out by a picnic table at the trailer park. Ed and Harry approach carrying grocery bags.

"I was thinking that Mordechai has a really super high attack bonus" Harry says.

"Man, I got the munchies right now" Ed turns his attention to Sam and Dean "Gentlemen" Then he looks at Y/N "Pretty Lady"

"Hey guys"

"Should we tell 'em"

"Hey, might as well, you know, they're going to read about it in the trades"

"So, this morning we got a phone call from a very important Hollywood producer.

"Oh yeah, wrong number?" Dean asks.

"No, smart-ass. He read all about the Hell House on our website and wants to option the motion picture rights. Maybe even have us write it" They place their grocery bags into a totally overloaded car.

"And create the RPG"

"The what?" Y/N asks.

"Role playing game" Ed replies.

"Right"

"A little lingo for you. Anyhoo, ahh, excuse us, we're off to la-la-land."

"Well congratulations guys. That sounds really great"

"Yeah. That's awesome, best of luck to you"

"Oh yeah, luck. That has nothing to do with it. It's about talent. Sheer unabashed talent" They nod at each other.

"Later" Ed says, making a hand gesture. They get in the car and start pulling off.

"See ya round"

"Wow" Y/N says, watching them leave.

"I have a confession to make" Sam says.

"What's that"

"I, uh...I was the one that called them and told them I was a producer" Dean and Y/N laughs.

"Yeah well we're the ones who put the dead fish in their back seat" Dean says, gesturing to himself and Y/N.

"Dude, that thing stunk" Sam laughs then seconds later all three of them are laughing.

"Truce?" Sam asks. Y/N and Dean looks at each other and nods.

"Yeah truce" she says.

"At least for the next 100 miles" Dean adds. They climb into the Impala and take off.

[oliviaamendola]

[ 𝕥𝕖𝕩𝕥 ] - 𝓉𝑜𝓂 & 𝑜𝓁𝒾𝓋𝒾𝒶

olivia: it's the fastest, yet slowest thing! like i feel like this year has gone so fast but there were times where i was like 'it's only march??'. someone the other day referred to the '90s as the late 1900's and i had so many conflicting feelings about that. are my kids going to be like "my mom was born in the 1900's"?? that's a surefire way to feel ancient. but how many places have you been to and either have been stuck in a hotel or set, or were only in the city for a few hours? none, it was my first time too! you think so? it's interesting how one day they can look like one parent and the next it's the other. scarlett is all culpo but there are some things she does or moments i look at her and think that she's danny's twin. that sounds amazing! no, not really. we're based in vegas at the moment but traveling all over depending on what job i have or where danny's team is playing. we can! my gambling skills are lacking but there's no strategy to slots. not this year ☹️ danny plays on christmas in kansas city, so we'll be out there. at least he'll be able to wake up and see the babies that morning before he has to go to the stadium, and they're still young enough that they won't really remember doing christmas in a hotel room. he couldn't miss weston's first christmas though. it would've killed us both inside. if you want to come to kc and catch the game, let me know! we have a suite so it'll be warm for the babies. aww, i love that! have you decided on three kids then? she loves it for the most part! she's generally really sweet with him but i do catch her side-eyeing him when he's being extra cranky. she's like "really bud, can you stop screaming" 😂 don't worry, she will be. a lot of people warned us that there would probably be some jealousy and i do think there was for a minute, but it wasn't terrible and she didn't try to hurt him or anything like that. when she realized that we still focused on her too, she was fine. i do think it helped a little that she's such a daddy's girl, so she didn't mind too much when I would disappear for a little bit to feed weston and put him down. she had danny, so she was good. wait, what? nat's pregnant again?? the biggest change was having to wrangle two kids by myself instead of one. when danny's in season he has really long days and then he's traveling just about every other weekend so it was tough in the beginning when i was on my own and weston would need the majority of my attention but scarlett also needed me. fortunately we have such a great support system and i got help from our moms or my sisters in those moments, but it can be hard to ask for help. don't be afraid to and definitely don't turn down the help if someone is offering! are you close with your brothers and have you always been, or have those relationships developed as you've gotten older? that's so funny! my oldest brother is very reserved, so maybe i got his personality. though in general, my sisters and i are the outgoing ones while my brothers are more reserved. do you believe in the theory that your birth order shapes your personality? | @tcmhcll

Tom: it is quite the effort to put into the adult friendships. don't you just wonder how life goes so fast? sometimes i think that i'm still in my early twenties when people say 'back in 2014' or something along those lines. wasn't that only yesterday? what's happening to time? no, i hadn't been! i realize just how many places i haven't traveled before when i visit these towns. how many times had you been prior? oh, well thank you... i'd like to say that she gets her looks from me but it's all nat at this point. of course we can! let's set up a playdate with them and we can play catch up, yeah? i'll be in atlanta for the foreseeable future so if you're anywhere near there? oi, vegas sounds like a good time to be had! are we hitting lotto slots? i can't cash in but any of my winnings can go to you. will you lot be in rhode island for the holidays? we aren't entirely sure where we'll be spending christmas just yet but we can always pop in for a hello if we can. we'll be exchanging all the photos we can of the future best friends. i can't wait for it actually! ah, he's gonna look very much like his dad, yeah? makes me slightly excited to see what the next two for us will be looking like. how's scarlett been enjoying being a big sister? i reckon she may need to pass along her tips to mia for the coming future. we really dunno how she is gonna be with the new additions but i know she'll be the loving little girl she really is. will you be in town for her birthday this weekend? we'd love to have you and the family. i definitely think you would be a great insight for nat when you can. she's been on the nervous side with this pregnancy. what was the biggest changes between your first and your second? i am! my youngest brother is nineteen now and my other two brothers are twins and they are twenty-four. what?! i can't see you as a middle child for some reason. with your personality, and this is a great thing in my book, i saw you as the eldest! /

[skaldish]

this is kind of a complicated question so totally cool if you dont have an answer or want to direct me to a different person/other resources. i was raised an atheist by now atheist but raised christian parents (so i grew up with a catholic extended family, my grandma baptized me as a baby, i had christmas and easter and all that). however my family also has, in the past, a lot of connection to norse mythos and heathenism generally (we're from iceland and all over scandinavia generally, the first generation of my family over here was obsessed with norse mythos and i grew up hearing stories from the edda and folk stories about trolls and giants and stuff like that, i have a set of runes for casting that have been passed down my mom's side). i have a ton of interest in norse mythos and old norse culture and "vikings" are my special interest. I really feel a pull toward norse paganism but i just cant get rid of the deeply skeptical part of me that was raised by atheists and that just cannot convince itself to believe in anything i cant directly prove to myself with like. scientific evidence. i feel this need in myself for some sort of higher belief or religion but i cant push past my skepticism either. basically i want faith but i cant have it myself because i need definitive proof to believe in something. im not really sure what im asking for here, just general advice about this i guess?

I'm also a person that has no faith, and frankly never will.

I grew up with science in an a-religious household, and learned early on that anything "real" in this world was something whose existence was self-evident, so gods and spirits were nothing more than theory for me for a while.

What happened to me is that this shit was, in a sense, proven.

Now, "proof" in this context is not empirical and objective proof. I can't replicate my experiences of gods and spirits in another person like science would demand. But neither can I replicate the experience I had listening to a certain song for the first time, or reading a certain book. It's the same concept with gods.

I ended up asking Loki to prove himself because my brain simply refused to believe his existence without it. He sent me no less than 11 different dreams and oodles of signs, one of which was an incredibly uncanny coincidence. It got to the point where denying the data was actually harder than accepting the significance of the picture it painted, even though you could theoretically argue that I hallucinated it all.

(But then we have an argument of ethics on our hands. Is the humane course of action to reject the experiences as valid and label myself as insane, or to try to adopt a new model of the world that allows for the existence of such things?)

This kind of metaphysical experience is what we call "Unverified Personal Gnosis" in the community, and it's very much the "meta" of the physical world—the result of conversations we have with the universe, of socializing with the natural world the way we socialize with each other.

My mind still struggles with this stuff at times, but only because it gets bogged down in how "socially unacceptable" it is to believe in it, especially when my experiences point to incredible things. But I can't deny the heaps of data I've amassed for myself at this point, because I'd be straight gaslighting myself.

I think Shakespeare said it best, honestly: "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." There's nothing quite like exploring spirituality to get you to really, truly understand this.

[cherrykindness]

wild tweets |

pairing: Harry Styles x Actress!Reader

summary: as newlyweds, you and harry read thirsty comments for buzzfeed.

warning: it's thirsty tweets, so below there is adult humor 😳

"It's a bright, sunny morning in Los Angeles, and there's nothing I want more than to be on BuzzFeed and read wild tweets alongside my husband."

"Thirsty tweets, babe." Harry corrected, laughing out loud with the producers behind the cameras.

"Thirsty Tweets." You said quickly, putting your hand over your mouth to stifle a giggle. "I'm terrible at that, I'm sorry. Can we start over?"

"Let's take a break for one to two minutes. You've given us a great introduction, Y/N."

You shook your head, smiling shyly before turning to Harry, who was already watching you with that easy smile at the corner of his lips. You liked how his hand remained firmly on yours, making those circular movements with the thumb that always served as a natural medice for your anxiety.

"You look so fucking beautiful."

The pleated dress with flounce sleeves fit you like a glove. You had made peace with the various shades of white since the wedding and knew that Harry liked to see you in that color too.

"Thank you, you're not too bad either, Styles."

You intimately suspected that Harry would always seem far beyond that "not bad" that came out as a euphemism from your mouth. He wore nothing but a pair of bell-bottom pants in a strong shade of blue and a soft vest printed with fluffy little sheep on a striped American collared shirt - in your opinion, no one could look better in farm animal clothing than Harry Styles and Princess Diana with her red "Black Sheep" sweater in the 1980s. In contrast, you knew your husband well enough to know that he was arrogant and knew exactly how hot he looked - you also made your thoughts clear enough when you kept him backstage beyond ten minutes in a rather heated kissing session.

"Are you anxious?" you asked curiously, remaining with downcast eyes fixed on the strokes that remained assiduous on your warm skin. "To read about how the whole internet dreams of fucking my wife?! Of course." Harry joked, leaning over to leave a small one on your cheek. "We agree on that, don't we? Although I'm a little nervous, I'm really interested to know all the crazy things they say about you. Everyone knows you're mine at the end of the day, that's enough."

At the end of the break, you and Harry made a silent agreement that you should be the first to pick up one of the scattered papers in the red pot. There were quite a significant amount of tweets, and as much as you were used to reading rather sordid things about your husband on the Internet, the excitement was there as if you were wading into uncharted territory.

"I would be a good girl all year round if Santa guaranteed me a threesome with Harry and Y/N Styles on Christmas Eve." You laughed, Harry staring at the camera with an expression close to the meme of the surprised Pikachu. "You guys are incredibly nasty, I love it."

"If that was the first one, I'm really worried about the next ones." Harry commented with a little corner smile, picking the next tweet out of the bucket. "I have an entire folder on Pinterest dedicated to Harry Styles' hands, and let me tell you why: those hands are art, and art needs to be recognized."

"What- Guys, you promised you wouldn't post my anonymous tweets here." You quipped with false reproach, laughing at your own stupid joke while everyone else in the studio did the same. "But I can't blame her, honestly." Shaking your shoulders, you opened another piece of paper. "Harry Styles finally confessed that he wrote Watermelon Sugar for Y/N!!!! Are you guys imagining the same thing as me?!!!!!! 🥵🍆💦"

"Exhausted emoji, eggplant emoji, and water emoji?" Harry frowned, staring at the tweet you held up. "I imagine you're in need of a vacation somewhere refreshing and you're craving a fruit that everyone eats like it's really a vegetable."

"That reminded me of that story-" You laughed, hiding your face on the table as Harry continued to offer a poker face to the camera, struggling not to keep up with you laughter. "I'm sorry, lovie, I have to share this with the rest of the world." You stated, wiping a few tears from the corner of your eyes. "Harry always wears those fancy suits to concerts, right?! Right! Turns out he looks really hot in some, like his ass molds perfectly into those tight pants and everything. I was home that night because I wasn't feeling well enough to face the big crowds, but I was still following everything on twitter. It was a concert in London, not so far from where we lived at the time, so it was obvious that he would come home after it was over. I follow some portals that do really fast updates of pictures, videos, etc; everything that happened at Harry's concert was on my timeline in a matter of seconds. When one of these profiles uploaded a picture of him with his back to the camera in a heavily accentuated black and white suit, I quickly sent him the image along with a peach emoji and then wrote "looks good tonight". He didn't reply to me until a few hours later, of course, but I obviously didn't expect a "ready for a Fifth Avenue peach salad for dinner?" and numerous cutlery emojis."

Harry rolled his eyes comically, indulging in laughter as did everyone else who occupied the backstage area.

"I'm against the eroticization of emojis." He said between uncompensated breaths, shaking his head negatively. "Let's go to the next ones, please, I'm already feeling exposed enough here."

"I like your old-fashioned spirit, baby." You assured him with a smile, laying on the sturdy shoulder hidden under the fluffy fabric.

Harry chuckled low, leaving a little kiss on the top of your head before selecting the next paper. The fans would die when that video aired, everyone was sure. You two easily forgot the cameras when you were side by side, and the public display of affection had never been a problem.

"My life mission is to look at someone the way Harry looks at Y/N and be reciprocated the way Y/N looks at Harry, then I could die happy." Harry read. "That was very good and healthy, thank you!" He smiled. "But don't settle for death in that case, please. Just make sure to keep that person around forever."

"Awn, we got so sweet now." You made a pout. "Thank you for sending us something so cute! I really hope you find the right person soon." Sending a kiss to the camera, you moved on to the next tweet. "I wouldn't want to get a golden ticket to visit Willy Wonka's factory, I would like to get a golden ticket to actively participate in Y/N and Harry Styles' Honeymoon.

"That was creative, so I will disregard the fact that you removed my last name from my wife's name." Harry joked.

"I will always be an Y/L/N." You flashed the tongue. "We had a great Honeymoon, but I know you guys already know all about it because there are pictures all over the internet of outings that I don't even remember existed."

"Even though we chose a rather reserved city, many paparazzi still managed to photograph some of our nights there." Harry agreed. "There was one particular day when we opted to have dinner at a restaurant near the beach. Y/N had found it even before the trip, it was pretty laid back and we could spend the evening at karaoke. I don't really remember what happened, but we woke up the next day with a terrible hangover, still wearing the clothes from the dinner and with several headlines saying that I was cheating on my wife in the middle of our Honeymoon with a blue-haired italian girl."

"That wig made me sexy, man." You blinked, laughing as you remembered the situation. "It's a shame the paparazzi only got low quality images, but I swear I looked really amazing that night. Italy, I miss you."

"We're coming to the end and I haven't had to ask production for a glass of water yet, thank you to whoever selected these tweets." Harry raised his thumb to the camera, smiling before turning his gaze back to the small paper he had chosen. "Y/N could literally punch me in the face and I would just bow down and thank them for it." He laughed. "She has heavy hands, so I would rethink that choice."

"It takes strong hands to be a superheroine." You blinked gracefully, referring to your works as a Marvel actress. "I move around a lot during the night, so I'll take this lovely opportunity to say that twitter can dismiss all the malicious theories about Harry always show up with a new bruise all over his body."

"Please stop making indecent assumptions while Y/N is aggressive with me at night only unconsciously, her father has access to social media."

You laughed, clearing your throat before reading the next obscenity aloud.

"I would sell all my possessions to have Y/N sitting on my lap for ten seconds."

"Oh my God." Harry laughed out loud, throwing his head back. "I should have said that in our wedding vows."

You shook your head, laughing low as you set the tweet aside.

"That was pretty funny and cheeky, I approve."

"Okay, looks like we finally got to the last one." Harry announced, waving the paper in the air dramatically before opening it. "Harry could literally crush me with those boots while fuc- I need that glass of water." He said dumbfounded, hiding his face between his hands after throwing the tweet over his shoulder. You laughed out loud next to the organizers, and meanwhile Harry leaned his head on your bust, staring at you still with wide eyes. "Please promise that we will be careful with our future children on the internet."