#I really enjoyed (and struggled) to write a piece with no dialogue

[beachf4gz]

I recently was able to restart my adhd meds after a few months of them being out of stock so I have been reading wayyy more DE fanfic again, and something I find kind of interesting is how prominant certain in-game choices are in regards to Harry's fanon characterisation. I understand why the communist route and sorry-cop copotype are by far the most common ways ppl write Harry- I think most people playing the game end up identifying with those dialogue options and therefor end up following those routes (and its a fairly big time commitment to replay with the intention of seeing all the different route you could take)- but I do sometimes really wish there was more writing for the different copotypes and political orientations because the ways Harry's internal processes and position in the world are affected are REALLY interesting to me. I completely understand being uncomfortable (or just uninterested) by the idea of exploring an ultraliberal, moralist or facist character- I think fanfiction as a medium is compelling in part because you are conveying your own relationship to a piece of work, including your own moral reactions and beliefs applied upon the work's characters- but I think DE includes the option to *play as* a character occupying these roles (rather than just presenting them through npcs) in order to invite players to experience and examine the act of being these things both internally and within social contexts.

I think Harry can be fascinating and heartbreaking as a character study in any of these routes, and the gameplay can feel radically different between them even following the same plot. For example, I found the moralist route deeply evocative. It has an uneasy, desperate feeling to it as someone struggles to occupy the in-group, to live in normalcy and civility in the face of their own world ending. It creates an odd position for Harry as accutely disabled and vulnerable- contrasting percieved social acceptance and safety with the tearing of reality "as it should be" at the failure of the social mechanisms he believes in to meet their promise of happiness or safety. The gameover at the statue left me genuinely stunned when I first got it, its sort of horrifying in it's bluntness, and I found it really upsetting in this specific raw way. Its an excellent way of demonstrating, emotionally, the failure and cruelty of liberalism upon those who believe in it- but also its devastating for Harry's character as he is presented through the moralist dialogue. I also found it rlly compelling how the honor cop dialogue options explore Harry as a person seeking dignity in the face of their social ostracisation, and how apocalypse-cop explores the social modes of someone who has fallen out of the "normal reality space", how impaired his ability to live is in response to a full awareness of overwhelming, total threat. I'm not good at writing essays and stuff, idk if I'm explaining this well, but all of the routes are written with such an intimate and personal examination of how it *feels* to occupy different modes of being- of the way the world will treat you if you interact with it in certains ways, or the person you will be and the emotional shape your life will form depending on your framework. I think its kind of abstract and difficult to write properly, but I think its something you can reaaaallly sink yourself into if you find Harry a compelling character- I personally do (lmao) and its something I love seeing whenever I get the chance. I get the appeal of Harry as an exccentric mentally ill communist whose political beliefs are, in social contexts, extentions of his rejection of social norms and position as othered under liberal belief- I do also just enjoy the fact that this version of Harry is only one mode of being he could occupy, and the varying ways in which he is socially, emotionally or cognitively enabled/disabled by other modes of being, and the position the game takes in exploring them all as choices or as routes and reactions by the same person- as someone afloat and disempowered in the world attempting to find "how to live".

[fallow-hollow]

Heyo! I came by to ask if it’s possible that you could write a Chilchuck x non binary! Reader who has a stutter and hasn’t gotten any help for it since childhood? Like not being able to say sentences properly without suddenly pausing by accident and having moments where the reader struggles on just one word? It’s mostly because I have irl and I don’t see a lot of books about readers that have a stutter as I think it’s used mostly to be cute or uwu- so maybe Chilchuck could try to help them?

cold reading

ft… chilchuck tims x nonbinary! reader

tags… pre-relationship, pining, reader has a stutter, fluff

word count… 882

notes… hope i did a good job! i had a friend who stutters be my beta reader to make sure i did alright, but further notes are always welcome! also fun fact, a ‘cold read’ is a read through or performance of a script or text with no prior practice, so i thought it would make a cute title !!

This may have been your idea, but you were already starting to have some second thoughts about this plan.

Chilchuck was well aware that you often had some trouble speaking, but it was never something he wanted to intervene on without your permission. The man had his own fair share of experiences being babied by those around him, so the last thing he wanted to do was belittle you by acting as if he knew more about what would help you than you did. So, naturally, reaching out about wanting assistance was up to you.

If there was anyone you trusted to help you with this vice of yours, it was Chilchuck. It wasn’t even that he himself was particularly well spoken or collected — no, it was your trust in him from a personal perspective that made it so easier to confide in him. The two of you had always been pretty good friends, and plus, it was rather nice how he never judged you for things you couldn’t control.

Truth be told, seeking help from someone like Falin likely would have been equally as helpful, but if you had to be honest with yourself, you also just enjoyed spending time with the man. Something about his presence put you at ease, despite the standoffish demeanor he had most of the time.

That’s how you found yourself here, trying to read from a book while he sat patiently beside you.

However, this may have been far less embarrassing for you if the book you borrowed for this little practice session wasn’t one of Marcille’s romance novels.

“She tr- trekked across th- across the muddy dirt path, her, her boots… boots covered in…..” Even when reading completely inoffensive narration, you still tripped up on certain consonants and found yourself repeating certain words. Sometimes, you’d even lose your place or space out, and end up unconsciously repeating the end of a word when you ‘picked up where you left off’, so to speak.

Chilchuck stayed silent, of course, not wanting to be rude by calling you out or correcting you in the middle of your sentences, but the long periods of yourself speaking and nothing else did make you feel rather awkward at times. After you sighed and shook your head, signifying that you had given up, he allowed himself to speak.

“Maybe try reading some dialogue instead. It could feel more natural if it’s something you could say to an actual person instead of just narration.” At his suggestion, you nodded, letting your eyes scan the page to the closest piece of dialogue you could find.

…Ah.

Well, it wasn’t that embarrassing. Compared to the other things one might find in a novel like this, it was really rather tame. Yes, you could make this work.

When you glanced up, the half-foot was still meeting your gaze, looking as if he had something to say. You murmured a quick “Yes?”, to which he responded promptly.

“You’ve mostly been looking at the text while you’ve been talking.” One hand gestured briefly to the book you were holding. “I dunno if this is the case, but focusing too hard on the written words could trip you up.”

The statement did ring true, at least somewhat. You’d been very fixated on matching the written words to the pronunciations in your head so as to not mess them up, but maybe that was contributing to this unnatural sort of feeling you’d had while you were reading. Talking to Chilchuck certainly did help you calm down most of the time, so maybe you’d feel more relaxed if you tried that instead.

He didn’t directly tell you to, but you chose to look at Chilchuck’s face while you talked. After reading the words and trying to internalize them the best you could, looking at him was almost a way to relax your eyes. Without focusing on a particular point or feature, you let yourself just… take him in. Register that this was the person you were speaking to. Allow the words to be fully and wholly directed at him.

In hindsight, the method may have been a bit too effective, judging from how the sentence came out almost immediately and with great fervor,

“You have no idea the lengths I’d go to just to see you!”

Hey, why did the man across from you look ever so slightly pink…?

Oh.

“Oh no, no I’m so- s-so sorry! Sorry!” Your hands shot up in an apologetic yet defensive behavior, which seemed to ease Chilchuck’s nerves, judging by the small laugh he let out.

With a wave of his own hand, he responded, “You don’t need to be. Just surprised you’d get so bold all of a sudden.” He then shot you a wink and a point, something that threatened to make you melt entirely. So easily could he touch your heart, yet at the same time it was hard to falter when he smiled at you like that.

“Did a good job on that one, though. Sounded great!”

Either way, if you can one day manage to speak your true feelings to him, then maybe you’ll be able to say all the other things you want to as well.

“Tha…thank you, your help, it, um… it really means a lot.”

[ikinremu]

i would kill for a cillian murphy as robert fischer fic or neil lewis from watching the detectives from you! ur stuff is amazing <3

This is literally so sweet tysm ml <3 Apologies for how long this took! I honestly really enjoyed writing this so im definitely open to writing more neil stuff! Based on the ending, i might do a follow up? (if you guys want that please let me know!) Anyway, hope you enjoy! :)

Light Entertainment

Neil Lewis x Fem!Reader

! Smut Warning !

Tags: Oral (F receiving), P in V, Riding, Tit Sucking, Praise

"God," Neil snorted, shifting beside you, "This is fucking terrible." His eyes loosely exploring your choice of film, one he had rather immediately deemed 'shitty.'

And truthfully, you were inclined to agree.

"Alright alright, bit extreme." You chastised, "I couldn't find anything I actually wanted to watch so I just picked something.. random."

You admitted as you studied the terrible old tape play out on screen, sighing as old-timey voices completely butchered their lines.

"You'd rather pick something you hadn't even heard of than let me pick?" Neil's head snapped round, face painted with severe offence.

"Absolutely." You chortled, beyond shameless. "I wasn't missing out on the rare occasion you agree to let me pick."

"Yeah well, remind me to never do that again." He exhaled heavily, grinning far more enthusiastically than you'd have liked.

You tossed a light, warning smack to his arm, his amusement only expanding, "Sorry, sorry!"

"Now," You huffed, pointedly making a gesture of crossing your arms across your chest, "If you don't mind, I'd like to watch this piece of cinema without your snarky, shithead blabbering. Thank you."

"Oh, would you?" Neil scoffed, "You're seriously enjoying this?"

"Yes, it's.." You struggled helplessly for a follow up, watching as the tv screen rolled more abhorrent dialogue between characters with void personalities. Honestly, you couldn't name a single one. "It's.. very entertaining."

He chuckled to himself, shifting ever so slightly nearer, "Right, right.." His warm, curious hands drifting under your woven blanket, getting dangerously closer to the heat between your thighs as he surpassed your skirt, "So you wouldn't.. prefer this?"

Your breath caught in your throat, words halted as a tender fingertip pressed against your clit.

You slipped a sweet, soft whimper as Neil began tracing supple circles round your clit through the dampening fabric of your underwear, filling your stomach with flutters. It was blatantly clear by the look on his face that his enjoyment was just as intense as yours.

It was a relief to be granted a new focus, your stubbornness to the film growing tiring. You couldn't help but revel in his touch, allowing your eyelids to flicker shut.

Your skin prickled at the familiar sound of his low chuckle, "No no, you keep those eyes open. I wouldn't want you to miss a single second."

Your eyes snapped open once more, and although they couldn't seem to find a place to stop, Neil's were unbudgingly glued to your face, his agile fingertips unrelenting beneath the blanket.

Exhaling, you felt yourself grow wetter and wetter with each passing, torturously light stroke to your cunt.

Without drawing eye contact, Neil raised from his seat beside you, gradually lowering himself between your legs.

Your arousal only steepened as both skilful hands crept to the blankets very edge, flinging it from your lap.

Purposefully slowly, you parted your thighs, skirt riding further up as you did so. A low, hoarse groan fled Neil's lips as your soaked panties met his eyeline. The lustful noise sent a shiver coursing down your spine, a little dose of smugness dizzying your head.

"Oh, just look at you.." He praised, lacking any hesitation in directing himself to the waistband of your underwear and bringing them to a pool around your ankles.

Hands splayed over your ass, he tugged you in one swift, greedy motion towards his face. Your stomach flipped with anticipation at the jolt, and suddenly his head was buried between your thighs.

His tongue licked torturously slow, teasing stripes up your bare cunt, as though savouring your taste was all he craved. A satisfied smirk etched across Neil's lips, the warmth radiating against your sensitivity. A desperate moan spilled from your throat as his mouth finally breached your folds, sucking your clit between his lips so softly.

"Fuck.." You exhaled, breath quavering, legs trapping his head amidst their heat, wetness coating your inner thighs.

"Just soaking my tongue, aren't you?" He grumbled, taunting the swell of your clit with the tip of his tongue, playing shamelessly with your sensitivity. 

The tv blared as Neil's hunger spiked, working at a ferocious pace between your thighs, drawing endless pleasures from your mouth as your back arched, sodden cunt pressing right to his tongue. 

"So responsive, mm?" He chuckled once more, balmy breath stroking over your sensitivity as his tongue tormented your entrance, swirling flawlessly around as you quivered against his cheeks. 

"Neil.. I can't.." You practically whined, flooded with the desperation for his teasing to end. 

Leaning back from between your legs, Neil's bright, glinting eyes flitted up to your own as he swept the pad of his thumb over the slick pillow of his lower lip, sporting a mock frown. 

Slumping back against the couch, he wasted no time in adjusting you to straddle his lap, the prominence of his bulge digging into you from beneath his dark, strained jeans. With a sense of guidance, he began rocking your bared pussy against him, length twitching as the feel of you seeped through his clothes. 

Snaking one large, kind hand to cup your jaw, he stroked with a single thumb, feeling your flushed skin melting against his palm. His lips drifted to your neck, sucking rather harshly as his vacant hand was utilised, unbuckling his jeans as his hard, aching cock sprung free. Neil's focus jumped to scouting around his pocket, almost immediately yanking out a small, flimsy packet that he tore with the ease of one tiny rip.

A sweet, breathy laugh floated from your lips, "You always have one of those?"

He shot you a playful grin, fumbling slightly as he rolled the condom down onto himself. 

He angled the unattended, begging pulse of his tip with your drenched entrance, his eyes fluttering for just a moment as he lowered you onto him with a sharp groan. Your own eyes followed suit, lids temporarily screwing together as you revelled in the feeling of him stretching you. 

"Let me see those pretty tits." Neil groaned, ridding you - impressively fast - of the vast inconvenience of your top, tossing your bra right afterward.

"Mine." He inhaled, bringing his face to the plush of your naked chest, each hand cupping your breasts, the soft flesh pressed impossibly close to his face. Upon an eager, somewhat abrupt buck of his hips, a strained breath slipping your mouth as his length hit inside you. 

His sweet, plush lips engulfed one nipple, circling his tongue around the stiff peak before releasing it with a light 'pop'. 

"Please.." You mewled as his pelvis jerked against yours, throbbing gently between your soaked, clenched folds, perfectly filling your pussy with each deeper reaching thrust. 

"Feels good, huh baby?" He chuckled, still gently cupping your exposed breasts, a single, thin strand of hair falling before his eyes, coming looser as his fix trailed over to attend to your opposing, untouched nipple. 

You began bouncing softly to the rhythmic bucking of Neil's hips, developing your own pace as Neil allowed your rhythms to merge. Once again, he drew your pebbled nipple between his lips, tongue flicking at the tender, stiffened peak, his low groan vibrating against your chest as the pair of you quickened. 

"You drive me fucking crazy, you know that?" He whispered against the smooth, inflicted warmth of your breasts, giving them a greedy squeeze, his slender digits toying with your nipples, eyes wandering over your face as though nothing could compare to the sight before him. Shallow moans danced between the two of you, slick, sultry bodies rocking together against the couch cushions, "Is that such a bad thing?"

"I never said it was." Neil grinned, pulling your lips into a messy, rather impatient embrace, tongues winding against one and other with matched yearning.

Your walls contracted with each desperate bounce, feeling a hand glide from your chest to your fluttering pussy, taking zero hesitation in pressurising the drastic swell of your clit, features painted by a blatant smirk as he observed your face contorting with pleasure only he was providing.

"Oh, fuck-" You uttered, entirely overwhelmed by the combined sensations of his fingers working on both your nipples and clit, his thick cock filling you further and further with each rock of your pelvis.

A hoarse, breathy groan fell from Neil's lips as he lost himself in the feeling of you, digits stroking your arousal just a little faster as the opposing hand took a keen rest on your behind, allowing himself to better embrace the feeling of it against his skin. He offered your ass a small, restrained squeeze as the both of you grew closer and closer. 

"That's it baby, just like that.." He praised, length quivering between your tight, eager clenches. Suddenly, your release hit with the force of a tidal wave, coursing through your aching body as the firmly-wound coil in your stomach finally snapped.

At that, Neil slipped a rather loud, ragged moan, hips jerking up scruffily as he came undone, thighs twitching as did yours, both palms slowly caressing the flushed skin of your ass.

With an amused, clearly out of breath chuckle, Neil pressed his forehead to yours with the assistance of his charming, hopelessly bashful grin, "Maybe we should make our own movie.”

Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed! Please feel free to use the requests/asks feature on my page - it’d be so greatly appreciated!

[adyophene]

lucifer x husk is something i never knew i needed and as a multishipper im screaming

literally. king of hell x some alcoholic furry guy

i love them i need to know how they wouldve met, fallen for each other and started dating. and how much thatd piss alastor off

Ooh I am so happy other people are enjoying this pair as much as I am! I've gotten a few asks about my headcanons for them, and I am happy to blab on and on. Fair warning. This is gunna be a long and rambling essay.

I'm gunna put it all under a readmore, just cause I want to insert the art I've done of them so far, since I've been half-heartedly trying to tell a visual story through the doodles.

Okay. On we go!

How they met;

We did see them technically meet in the show, where they shared their singular canon piece of dialogue, which was just Husk saying 'hey'. And then in the finale where we see a literal split second moment of Lucifer holding Husk's arm.

(also seeing the sweet looks huskerdust is giving each other here just makes me feel so delulu for writing this all, but crackships are silly by definition, so lets get back to the lucihusk) For me, what I imagined, is after the Hotel is finished its rebuilding, that is when Husk and Lucifer finally actually meet in a proper manner. I think Lucifer would be trying to make a good impression on all Charlie's friends at this point, endeared to all of them from their actions during the finale. Unfortunately, I think he is also the King of Bad First Impressions.

[Note. I think at this point Lucifer wouldn't even remember Husk's name quite yet. I think he would call him 'Keekee' ( by accident) or 'Dusk' (confidently incorrect) or just be like "Hey!.... Uh... You?" until Charlie or Vaggie finally corrected him. ]

Husk, on the other hand, I feel like maybe wouldn't gel with Lucifer right away. Wouldn't hate him, but also maybe not be enamored with him right away. Same as Lucifer, maybe he would have sweetened on him a bit through the hotel's rebuilding, but I think they'd start out at very neutral feelings. Maybe a vague sense of 'He's okay, but I don't know if we will really get along.'

Despite this, Lucifer is persistent, and he's going to be everyone's (except maybe Al, unless they start getting along by s2) buddy. He'd start hanging around the bar and participate in the redemption exercises.

Now, we know Lucifer struggles with depression, and I think he would be trying real hard to mask anything going on during this time. They defeated Adam! They rebuilt the Hotel! He believes in Charlie's dream, and he's more involved with her life and other people than he has been for years.

His only issue being Husk sees right through it, both because Husk is perceptive, but also because even the King of Hell can't help but have a lonely night or two at the bar where he ends up venting about his divorce and subsequent lingering loneliness.

[snapcube ref aside, )I really do think Husk would start to feel more positively toward Lucifer after Luci would drop the act somewhat. That they could bond over feeling both at their lowest of lows, while also being to admit that things seem to be getting better!

This would be about the point that I imagine Lucifer developing more romantic feelings! Husk would be a bit less prickly, and Luci would just absolutely eat up any and all positive interactions they'd have. I like to picture a lot of little shows of care at the this point, like Husk memorizing what Lucifer likes and even making up 'fun' drinks just to try and cheer the guy up. And Lucifer would fun a fun game in trying to get the grumpy cat to smile, and just, lighting up himself any time he was successful.

And that culminating into the two of them making each other laugh, with Alastor being an easy butt of the jokes, and a good way for Husk, himself, to finally get a chance to vent. I think Lucifer would be one of the only 'safe' options for Husk to do that with, in just so far as Al can't really threaten Lucifer, and Lucifer already sees Al as a bit of a manipulative bastard.

Falling for each other; At this point, Lucifer would start being a bit more caring toward Husk, though with that wonderful, oblivious flair of his. I don't think Lucifer himself would realize he'd have a crush up until he'd start feeling protective or jealous over Husk, and it would really throw him for a loop at first.

Because fake dating is one of my all-time favorite tropes, I have always had a idea for a fanfic (or comic) that I haven't gotten around to yet, based around Lilith coming back, and Lucifer panickily asking Husk to pretend to be his boyfriend, so he can appear well adjusted/completely over her. Of course the whole thing would backfire, as Lilith would see through it (as Lucifer wouldn't be as good of an actor as he'd think), and that Husk would end up kind of feeling hurt by the whole thing.

Husk, who'd go along with the plot with an eyeroll, would find himself seizing up through the whole fake date/encounter. Would find weird, sudden emotions bubbling up and absolutely hating it.

I don't think that man would think about the class difference between him and Lucifer up until someone would say something about it, maybe Lucifer himself trying to rationalize the (at this time still fake) relationship to Lilith. Now, Husk feels uneasy about the whole thing and ends up drinking heavily the whole night so he doesn't have to think about feelings. (Blitz and Stolas who? Ahaha. fuck.) Meanwhile, while the date would be fake, I think Lucifer would really rather like having Husk on his arm and feeling like he'd have a love-life again, while also not really getting why Husk's mood would be getting worse throughout the night. I think they'd still end up on good terms, but both of them would have their feelings in a jumble, and Husk would not like it. (he thinks he's lost the ability to love, after all)

I think somewhere at this point, as they are starting to develop feelings for one another, is when Lucifer finally starts really realizing how tied to Alastor Husk is, and he starts to make it everyone's problem. I do think Al and Lucifer would stay snarky at each other this whole time, but that it'd only get worse, as Al would poke back since he'd find Lu's over reactions funny.

I also think Al would be maybe the last person to realize anything romantic would be brewing between Lucifer and Husk, and he'd just think it'd be a purely platonic thing.

Beyond just bitching about Alastor, Lucifer would really be ramping up his attention towards Husk too. Fully in that 'puppylove/crush' stage, and trying his darndest to make Husk feel good and special. Husk would be resistant to it all, thinking it would just be Lucifer rebounding hard, and not wanting to get wrapped up in Morningstar family drama when he could happily (miserably) keep his head down and just keep drinking the days away.

But then Lucifer would find out about Husk's love of stage magic, and his history as a performer, and it'd be all over for the catman. It would become Luci's new pet project to rope Husk into some joyful self-expression, and after a song and dance number's worth of convincing, Husk would start to come around. I have to post all these images now cause- I drew them with the intention of mimicking a musical number! Husk starting off as a bit resistant before jumping in whole heartedly, and Lucifer overexcitedly dragging him along throughout the music number, hyping him up and just all around being smitten.

And this is where Husk would start really falling. Getting swept up in indulging his favorite, least destructive hobby, and having someone who absolutely loves it to bond with. Especially when it would be over. When they would just settle down and talk, and laugh, and bond over what they love about performing. The spectacle, the audience, the love of the craft. Its about the comradery!!!

@belladonazeppole wrote a wonderful series of fanfics based off these pictures, as well as the songs from 'The Greatest Showman' that really fit the ship! I would be remiss to not mention them here, because Bella and their fics are just wonderful!

How they started dating;

Now. Don't think just cause they both caught feelings for each other, that they'd immediately admit to it. No. I think both of them would drag their heels. I don't think Husk would admit to them at all, without some outside force effecting it. I think he'd stubbornly try to ignore the crush or drink it away, rather than let his heart become vulnerable to anymore damage.

Meanwhile, Lucifer would be struggling between his feelings for Husk and Lilith. (In the actual canon, I do think they might try to rekindle things, depending on what kind of person Lilith turns out to be, but I digress.) Part of him would be so swept up in a giddy kind of excitement, while the other would be set firmly in the camp of 'this is a bad idea, this won't work out, just look at what happened to your last relationship'. It wouldn't stop him from being outwardly more and more affectionate, but it would be weighing on him.

I do think Lucifer would end up being the one who would be thinking; "What am I doing. He'd never like me back." While Husk would be just sitting there (echoing what was said in the ask- sorry I went all wild and wrote this much about the ship dear god)- "I'm just some fucking furry alcoholic, what the fuck would the king of hell see in me??? Am I delusional? What the fuck is going on??" And I feel like this stage would go on for MONTHS and drive everyone else nuts. It would be clear to everyone (except Alastor, who again, would be just this meme

Though that wouldn't stop him from getting a little pissy about it) And then it would all come to a head during something benign, like a board game night. There would be flirting, there would be jealousy, there would be arguing, and then finally, loudly and with a lot of feeling, Lucifer would shout his way through asking Husk out on a date. A real Date. A capital 'D' date out on the town, dressed to the nines and a real good time. The board would be knocked over in the fray, game pieces raining down upon them while Husk would just stare blank faced, trying to process what just happened. An awkward half-minute would pass before he'd finally, trying to play it cool, shrug out a 'sure'.

How much it'd piss Alastor off;

In the aftermath, a radio static would just lowly grate everyone's ears as Alastor would be slowly coming to terms on how just annoying it would be to have his friend (/Unhealthy co-dependent pet friend possession??) romantically involved (ew) with the King of Hell (double ew)??? Then, either it would be something light hearted like 'he keeps trying to break them up but failing cause he hates interacting with romance' or a darker route where 'he keeps trying to manipulate them into breaking up by preying on all their worst insecurities in the relationship'.

And that, my friend, is all I have in mind so far for this delusional crackship au! There is more I could flesh out, of course, like Angel's role as a friend or potential third in the relationship, or what I imagine as Husk becoming like a stepdad to Charlie, but I've typed enough for the whole month. Hope any of that was coherent! I did not bother to edit or proof read it. Just pure stream of consciousness.

[kwanisms]

Kinkuary 23 Felix — phone sex // mutual masturbation

➥ fwb!Felix x fem!reader summary: Y/N and Felix have a pretty easy going situationship; when one of them is needy and the other is willing, they fall into bed but sometimes Felix gets needy when he’s on tour. wc: 3.9k warnings: afab reader, adult dialogue, fwb relationship, sexual content (minors dni!): phone sex, dirty talk, use of pet names (baby mainly), mutual masturbation, Felix and the reader are completely whipped for each other but won’t admit it cause they're idiots a/n: I'm not gonna lie, I struggled with this piece. Not because it's Felix, I’m actually finding it easier to write for him, when before I found it really difficult. I just struggle with writing phone sex lol anyway, I hope you enjoy this piece, thank you for reading and as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. banner made by me. I do not allow reposts or translations of my works. All my works are ©️ kwanisms. Permanent taglist: @yoonguurt @candidupped @dejavernon Kinkuary full taglist: @baldi-2 @wonderfulshinee @lacie220900 @sup-dallyboy @drunk-on-dk @violagoth @mixling-blog @kosmoreads @yourfavoritefreakyhan Stray Kids taglist: @niktwazny303 @g4m3girl @rapmonie2047 @indigo35 @witherednotes @cixrosie @fay-ebrahim @imseungminsgf @yeosayang @flowerboykun @beomgyusbabygirl Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. Join the taglist!

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Your phone dinged with a notification and you picked it up, rolling your eyes at the picture that had been sent.

Fee👅: [image] Fee👅: this interview is so boring 🙄 You: awww poor baby :c Fee👅: ur supposed to make me feel better ):&lt; You: you’re too far away for me to blow Fee👅: …i didn’t mean like that babe You: i’m teasing Lix. Where are you guys? Fee👅: New York You: Ew York Fee👅: Ew York Fee👅: lol jinx You: what do i owe you? 🙄 Fee👅: how about a picture? 👀 You: hmm. No Fee👅: meanie :&lt; You: hehe :> Fee👅: come on Y/N 😩 You: not the government name 😭 Fee👅: pretty please? 🥺

You sighed and opened your camera app, snapping a picture of yourself sitting at your computer and sent it to him.

Fee👅: what time is it there? You: late lol Fee👅: gee thanks i had no idea 😑 You: you asked ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ You: it’s 3:15 Fee👅: jesus christ Y/N go to bed! You: boo ur no fun Fee👅: i’ll text you later lol go to bed. You: okay dad Fee👅: daddy? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You: GOODBYE

You groaned, locking your screen and setting your phone down. Felix was right. You should be going to bed but this spreadsheet wasn’t going to finish itself and your boss had asked for it last minute, promising to pay you double to get it done asap so you jumped at the chance to get that double pay.

When you finally finished the spreadsheet, you emailed it to your boss and crashed, passing out on your bed, barely having the time to pull your covers up before you were out like a light.

The next time Felix texted you, he was in Chicago.

Fee👅: pizza here is atrocious 🤢 You: you’re just uncultured Fee👅: uncultured? Me??? You: i said what i said Fee👅: you are a liar is what you are You: I. Said. What. I. Said. Fee👅: i can’t believe you called me uncultured. Just for that, i’m not sending you the picture i took for you 😤 You: okay 🤙🏻 Fee👅: wait no come back 🥺 you were supposed to ask me to send it You: but you said you weren’t going to send it???

Felix groaned, looking at your texts. You were so infuriating sometimes.

When the two of you agreed to whatever had blossomed between the two of you, he hadn’t expected much out of it. Sure, he got sex with you but it was always strictly sex until it wasn’t.

The first time you called him and invited him over to just hang out, he knew he was screwed. These hangouts became a regular occurence and slowly he started developing feelings which complicated the booty calls even more.

He chose not to say anything because he didn’t want to lose you so he kept it all bottled inside. Keeping things as lighthearted as he could.

That was until you drunkenly let it slip that you liked him. You weren’t talking to him directly. You had been talking to Hyunjin at a party and you drunkenly told one of his best friends that you liked Felix a lot.

Hyunjin of course panicked because he didn’t know what to do with this information but Felix overheard and had been standing a few feet away talking to Han when he heard the words leave your lips.

Ever since then, he’s been waiting for you to admit it out loud to him but when he gave you opportunities to do so, you never did and it was so frustrating and infuriating but he had no right to be mad.

He just wished you would finally admit it out loud to him. He wanted you to tell him that you liked him. Not just say it drunkenly to his friends.

When Felix didn’t respond you sighed and set your phone aside.

It wasn't uncommon for him to suddenly stop texting. He was an idol after all. He had a busy life, a hectic schedule, and appearances to keep up with. Add a world tour on top of all of that and you were surprised to even hear from him at all.

When he was home in Korea, things were a lot easier. There were no time differences, just several city blocks. Even when he was back in Australia, it never seemed like he was that far away because the time difference wasn't that great.

New York, Chicago, LA were all almost an entire world away.

Felix still hadn't responded when you let out a frustrated groan and pushed your phone away, rolling over on your bed. It had been like this ever since you realized your feelings for him were starting to grow.

When you first realized it, you started to invite him over for more than just sex. It had turned into hanging out and watching movies or playing video games, or even making and eating dinner together.

Sometimes it ended with him spending the night and sometimes he went back to the dorms. It had almost become domestic in a way.

When you and Felix first agreed to whatever this was between you, it had been strictly sex. He always talked about how he was too busy to date, he couldn't be seen in public with anyone or rumors would arise, he didn't have the time or energy for a relationship.

You agreed, knowing what you were getting yourself into but when he came over one night when you called and instead of fucking, he realized something was wrong and let you vent out all your frustrations. He held you the entire time and told you it was okay to cry and to let it all out. It was then you knew there was something more between the two of you than just physical or sexual attraction.

Or so you had hoped.

You weren't exactly sure what woke you but you were almost positive it was the buzzing of your phone on the nightstand.

You groggily looked over at the alarm clock that read it was well past three in the morning. Groaning, you grabbed your phone and answered it without checking the screen.

"Hello?" You croaked only to be met with a cheerful laugh on the other side.

"You sound awful, are you sick?"

You sat up quickly upon realizing you'd just answered a call from Felix. You checked the screen to be sure and it was definitely him.

"No," you said, clearing your throat. "I just woke up."

"Oh shit, I forgot to check what time it is there," Felix said, his voice sounding concerned. Glancing back at your clock, it reminded you of the time to relay to the man on the other end of the phone.

"Fuck, seriously? I'm so sorry," Felix groaned. "I should have checked before I called. I can call you later. It's… it's not important. Just go back to sleep, okay?"

Your heart raced, rushing to keep him on the line. It had been so long since you'd heard his voice like this and he'd already woken you up so there was no point in hanging up, right?

"No, it's okay," you replied, leaning back against your pillows. Anything to get to hear his voice for a little longer.

"You sure? I can always call back later." You nodded even though he couldn't see. "Mhm, it's fine," you answered.

"So, what's up? Where are you guys now?"

"Brussels," he answered. "We finished North America last week before hopping on a plane and landing here."

Fuck, had it really been a whole week since you last spoke?

"Oh wow," you said rolling onto your side, keeping your phone by your ear. "I know. Just a little bit closer to home," Felix replied. You could detect the smile in his voice. He was probably excited to come back. He tended to get homesick pretty easily.

"I miss you."

It was so soft you almost didn't hear it but it still sent your heart into a frenzy. "W-what?" you asked, prompting Felix to repeat himself.

"I miss you like crazy," he answered. "I know it hasn't been that long but God I miss you so much." You chewed on your bottom lip, trying to find the right words to reply with.

You recognized that tone in his voice. The longing, the desire, the desperation. You knew because you felt it, too. You missed him, too.

For you it was more than missing the way he touched and kissed you. You missed the way he smiled and laughed at one of your dumb jokes. You missed the way he let you curl up against him on the couch while watching movies. You missed the way he tried to mess you up while racing against each other in Mario Kart.

You missed Felix so much that it hurt physically. It hurt because you knew he didn't feel that way about you.

"Y/N?" he called softly when you didn't answer.

You wiped your eyes quickly and swallowed back the rest of the tears and sobs that threatened to follow. "I miss you too, Lix," you answered, pushing your feelings aside for what felt like the hundredth time. Even if it hurt you to not have him entirely, you knew you'd still get to have him in one way.

"What time is it there?" you asked, trying to divert attention from yourself and back onto him. "Oh, it's after seven," he answered, his voice softer than before. “So it’s not too late,” you replied, wondering what he did today.

“Yeah. We didn’t have anything planned for today. Just resting before tomorrow. So Han, Seungmin, and I went out to explore the city a little. Did some shopping and ate lunch before heading back to the hotel,” Felix explained.

You could hear some rustling on the other side of the phone and wondered if he was in bed too. If it was just after seven, it would be awfully early for him to head to bed.

“What else did you guys do?” You asked, wanting him to keep speaking. His voice was something that was well loved by fans but also by you. The range of his voice was incredible but your favorite was the tone he reserved for you entirely.

“Nothing actually. It wasn’t so much lunch as an early dinner,” he answered, letting out a low chuckle. “I’m so full that I dont want to do anything else.”

“Who are you rooming with?” You asked. You wondered if he was alone. “Hyunjin,” he answered. ‘Typical,’ you thought with a smile. “Tell him I said hi,” you said as you rolled onto your back, staring up at the dark ceiling.

“Oh, I’ll tell him when they get back.”

Your curiosity was piqued as you propped yourself up. “Oh? Where did they go?”

“They wanted to see the night life. We wont get to see it since we’re leaving the day after the concert so this is really the only chance we have to see it,” Felix explained. “And what about you?” You asked.

Felix’s eyes widened upon your question. ‘What about me? Why is she asking that?’ He shrugged, even though he knew you couldn’t see him. “I just didn’t feel like going out.” ‘Yeah, because I wanted to call you instead.’

“And miss the only chance you have to experience the nightlife in Brussels?”

‘You’re more important.’

“Heh, yeah. I guess,” Felix said softly. It was true. The others had begged him to come with them, citing they wouldn’t have as much fun without him until Chris finally intervened. ‘If Felix doesn’t want to go, he doesn’t have to. I’m sure he’ll find something to keep himself occupied.’

Chris was the only one who knew about Felix’s situation with you and he also knew how Felix felt about you. The older man had encouraged him many times ti step up and tell you how he felt but he knew there was no use.

You just didn’t feel the same way.

“Do you want to go out?” Your question came as a surprise to Felix. He knew deep down he didn’t want to but could he tell you that? ‘Man up, you idiot.’

“No.” The word left his lips before he could stop it. “No?” You asked.

“No,” Felix repeated, settling back against the headboard of his hotel bed. “I don’t want to go out. I stayed back on purpose.” ‘That’s it. Keep going.’

“And what purpose was that?” If Felix didn’t know any better he’d think you were seeking information. And who knows, maybe you were.

“I wanted to call you. I promised I would and I got so caught up in the shows and traveling that I sort of forgot to call.” ‘Liar. You were avoiding her.’

“You wanted to call me?” How you could make his body react with just your voice alone, he’d never understand.

“Yeah. I did,” Felix answered, voice dropping lower. “Why’s that?”

‘Goddamn it,’ he cursed mentally, heat rushing to his cheeks as he felt blood rushing straight to his dick. He’d been wanting this since the last time he talked to you but he also just wanted to talk to you.

It never ceased to amaze him how quickly you could turn the conversation around.

“Cause I missed you,” he answered, fingers curling into a fist while he held the phone against his ear with his other hand. “And what did you miss about me?”

Your voice had gone breathless and Felix could only imagine what you were doing on the other side of the line. ‘Everything.’ He wanted to say it so desperately. He missed everything about you.

Your smile, your laugh, your lips, your hands and the way you touched him, both tenderly as you moved him out of your way in your cramped kitchen and the way your fingers would move over his skin as you teased him.

He settled for the obvious answer. “I miss your body.” ‘Idiot. You’re so fucking stupid.’

A ball of disappointment settled in your stomach. ‘Of course,’ you told yourself. ‘You're stupid for thinking he missed anything else.’

You pushed your negative thoughts aside. “What do you miss the most?” You asked, thighs pressing together as his voice came back deeper and huskier when he answered. “Your thighs. I love how soft they are when I grab them but I love how strong they are when you wrap them around my waist.”

‘Holy shit. Okay. That was quick.’

“Hmm, is that right?” You asked, your free hand resting on your stomach as Felix spoke. “God, yes. I love your thighs so much. But you know what I miss more?”

You tilted your head. “Hmm, what's that?”

“I miss your cunt.” That was so direct and… vulgar. It sent blood rushing to your core as your walls clenched around nothing. “Do you, now?”

“Mhm, god I miss you so much, baby,” his deep voice rasped. “I miss you, too,” you admitted. ‘More than you know.’

“I wish I was home so I could come see you.”

“And what would you do if you came to see me?” Your hand on your stomach moved up to squeeze your tit over your shirt. It wasn’t Felix’s hand but it would have to do.

“Well, first tell me where you are. What are you wearing?”

You let out a soft giggle. “Really, 'what are you wearing?'” You asked teasingly. “Don’t play with me,” Felix whined. “Just answer the question, babe.” The use of the pet name made butterflies erupt in your stomach, your heart pounding into a frenzy. Felix was well aware of how much you reacted to the sweet names.

“I’m just wearing a tee shirt and shorts,” you answered. “What I usually sleep in.”

“Take your shorts off for me, okay?” Felix asked. You could hear movement on the other side of the phone. “O-okay,” you answered. “And one more thing?” You heard him ask and raised the phone quickly. “Yeah?”

“Put your phone on speaker.”

Felix waited while you moved, doing as he asked. He could hear your sheets rustle as you moved. Finally you spoke. “Okay, they’re off.” Felix nodded, his free hand resting on his stomach just under his navel. “Are you wearing underwear?” He asked, biting his lip when you giggled on the other side.

“Yeah. They’re lace.” ‘Fuck.’

“Oh? What color?” ‘Please say black, please say black,’ he thought as he pictured the pair he loved the most. “Black,” you answered, making his cock twitch in his pants. ‘Yes!’ Felix’s hand moved over his hardening cock, resting his palm over it.

“Are you touching yourself right now?” ‘Please say yes.’

“Do you want me to?” Your voice asked softly. ‘God yes.’

“Go ahead, baby. Over the lace though. Gotta work yourself up first,” Felix answered as his hand pressed against himself.

“You touch yourself, too,” you said suddenly. The tone in your voice nearly made him groan. “I already am,” he answered with a slight chuckle. “Does it feel good?” you asked sweetly.

Felix pouted. He was supposed to be asking that.

“I was gonna ask you the same thing,” he said with a chuckle.

“It feels nice, but it’s not enough,” you answered, a slight whine in your voice. Felix chuckled again. “Don’t tease yourself too much, baby. That’s my job.” He could hear your breath hitch and just knew you were probably clenching your thighs together. Or trying to.

Hearing a soft sigh on the other end of the phone, Felix could imagine you lying on your bed, one hand between your thighs as you played with yourself.

“I bet your panties are soaked right now,” Felix said, grabbing his now hard cock through his pants when you let out a moan. “'M so wet,” you gasped.

Felix held the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he quickly undid his jeans and pushed them down, kicking them off before taking his phone in his hand again, his other hand now massaging himself over his underwear.

"I want you to slip your hand into panties and keep touching yourself," Felix groaned. "Just like I would if I was there."

He heard your voice shake, a soft moan sounding as you followed his instructions. "Just like that," Felix whispered, slipping his hand into his boxers, pulling his cock free to start slowly pumping his length. "Keep touching yourself for me."

You could hear soft sighs and low moans from Felix's side and tried to imagine him on his hotel bed, stroking himself as he spoke to you through the phone.

"I wish you were here," you groaned, eyes fluttering shut as you traced circles around your clit, imagining it was Felix making you feel this good. You heard him let out a shaky breath. "I wish I was there, too. I want to be the one making you feel so good."

"You always make me feel so good, Felix," you said, moaning his name as your back arched off the mattress. "Fuck, I love it when you moan like that for me. It sounds so hot," Felix replied.

"Go ahead and use two fingers," he instructed. "I know you can take them. You always take my fingers so well." You let out a moan as you pushed two of your fingers inside your cunt, curling them to find that sweet spot that Felix always managed to find every single time. "Fuck, ngh!" You whimpered.

"That's it baby," you heard him groan. "Keep doing that. Fuck yourself with your fingers. Pretend they're mine, baby."

You whimpered as he continued to speak. "I know how much you love it when I finger you while we make out." 'Fuck why does his voice have to sound so sexy?'

You set a pace you were comfortable with and could maintain while listening to Felix's voice as he got himself off to the sounds of you. You could imagine the dim lighting of the hotel room and the white sheets as his hand moved up and down his length.

"Feels s-so good," you whimpered, your fingers pumping in and out of your hole, the lewd wet sound of your pussy filling the room.

Felix groaned loudly on the other end. "That's one of my favorite sounds," he grunted, his voice growing shakier. "That and the sound you make when you cum all over my cock."

You let out another louder moan. "I want your cock inside me so bad, Lixie," you whined. "As soon as I'm back, I'm gonna come to you and fuck you so good you won't even remember I was gone," he growled. Your walls squeezed around your fingers and you drove yourself closer and closer to orgasm.

Your moans and whines were Felix's telltale sign you were about to cum. "You gonna cum for me, baby?" he purred, his voice low and breathy as he continued to pump his cock faster, squeezing and jerking his hand the way you often did.

He wasn't going to last much longer.

"I'm gonna- oh god," you groaned, a whiny and breathless moan leaving your lips as you came. "Fuck, there it is," Felix groaned as his eyes shut, feeling his own orgasm begin to wash over him as he stroked himself. "That's my favorite sound."

As you came down from your high, you listened to Felix finish himself off with a deep moan your ears zeroed in on something he whispered. "Fuck, I love you." It was so soft you almost hadn't heard it and might not have if you hadn't cum first.

The moment the words left his lips, Felix was mentally berating himself for being so stupid. Why did he have to slip up like that? He hadn't realized he'd said it out loud until you went silent. 'Way to go, you fucking idiot.'

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth briefly, wondering if you'd actually heard him right. 'Did he really just say that?' You knew there was no way your mind could be playing tricks on you.

Deciding to take the plunge, you took a deep breath before responding.

"I love you, too."

Felix had been so occupied with trying to busy himself with cleaning his essence off his stomach after that stupid admission he made in the heat of the moment that the second the words left your lips, he froze. 'W-what?' He stopped and cleared his throat.

"Say that again," he instructed. "Felix," you whined on the other side of the phone. "Please," Felix begged. "Say it again." He heard you inhale shakily before exhaling.

"I love you, too."

The feeling of weightlessness was so immense that Felix thought he'd float right up to the ceiling. 'She loves me back?'

"When did you-?" he asked but you cut him off. "Since we started hanging out more." Felix truly felt like he could fly. You'd developed feelings for him around the same time he'd developed them for you.

He asked you to start from the beginning and you did, finally spilling everything you'd been feeling and thinking. It matched almost perfectly. Your mutual pining, shared romantic feelings, wanting more out of the situationship. You both felt the same way and were scared the other didn't feel that way. You were both dumb.

What a pair of idiots you truly were.

"Okay, I take it back," Felix finally said, having already cleaned up and changed into his pajamas. "What's that?" you asked.

"As soon as I get back, I'm not fucking you," Felix answered.

"I'm taking you on a date."

[foreverisntenough]

- YOU’RE MINE -

Summary: While you daydreamed about his face an ocean apart, he had no idea what yours was about to do to him. With a twist of fate and the heat of summer, a new relationship would completely ransack his heart - Everyday heavy with the thought of one another, neither of you were going to let the unexpected love of your life go. You were going to be his, you were his, and you were going to stay his.

Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestions, smut love bombing, occasionally sad, and kind of angst- not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: I hope you like it! There will definitely be more parts (don’t know how many just yet though.)

INDEX

Chapter 19 - ‘You’re Mine’

You were not as hopeless as your inner dialogue made you sound. You missed Trent so much your little heart hurt but you could live. You were busy with an array of things, you had gotten really active in local charities in Liverpool and initiatives especially Trent’s latest project launch. You had a degree from university that you didn’t really share with a lot of people around you but Trent obviously knew about it so your skill set came in handy. With the spare time you had you reached out to some contacts from your previous jobs you had put on hold back in New York. At the time you met Trent you were taking a little hiatus to just decompress. You were privileged enough to do that and well aware that is not something everyone could have the luxury of doing so once you got settled in England you started to connect with brands you worked with in the US that had UK offices. You got back into work freelance writing and styling. Your career before was in Fashion Editorial so it was an easy transition to get back into the swing of things. It made you feel better you were able to have a life outside of being Trent’s number one fan, even though that often was your favorite thing to be occupied with. Thankfully the two, Trent and work, were kept separated for the moment.

Before the tournament actually began you found that the little T- Bear Trent left for you just seemed to be with you 24/7. Tucked in bed with you every night, snuggled up on the couch watching television and as wonderful as that was, there was a certain part that this ‘T’ wasn’t able to… how do you put this… fulfill.

You were just about to whine down from the day but your hair and makeup were still done so you decided to take a few cheeky photos. A client, Agent Provocateur, a brand you adored, from an editorial piece you had worked on recently with them had gifted you some pieces of gorgeous lingerie. So you put on a little pink satin trimmed lace bra with a matching thong. The goal was to entice Trent obviously, but aside from that this set was making you feel confident which you seemed to be struggling with lately. You took some photos with the whole set on, some taking it off, some with it barely serving any purpose all while holding your new little bear. It was an incredibly sweet concept but far from innocent. You picked your favorites, ones you knew showed off things he’d enjoy so you sent them in a text unsolicited and unprovoked as you tucked into bed for the night. The little ‘delivered’ popped up under the sent photos and it quickly turned to ‘read.’ You knew he’d be excited to see them but there was always a little part of you that worried about how you actually looked in them, if he’d like them, and then of course about the potential consequences of sending such explicit photos when he’s at ‘work’ so you held your breath. He started to type and the three dots in the bubble appeared but stopped, started again only to disappear once again. The brief moment of confidence you had built started to waver. While you laid in your bed, a little disheartened, you put your phone far away from you to try to forget the situation until you heard the familiar ring of an incoming FaceTime.

“You’re such a tease, baby.” Trent rolled his perfect plump lips into a pout shaking his head but couldn’t really hold back the lustful grin he was really expressing. “I have training early tomorrow and you got me so fucking hard I can’t possibly get to sleep now.” He groaned. You sighed in relief that he did in fact really like your pictures.

“I’m sorry, T. I didn’t mean to bother you. I was just trying some things on and I thought you’d want to see. I didn’t mean to disrupt your night.” You feigned an apology playing coy.

“Nah, nah, nah you got me all worked up, miles away, sending me something I can’t have right now. You’re staying on the phone right now, helping me with this.” He sounded so commanding and it turned you on instantly.

“What can I help with, baby? To help, do you need me to keep this on or take it off?” You pulled the bra strap off your body to let it snap back against your skin.

“I wanna see more of you, beautiful. Take that off…Save that for when I can rip it off you myself and put your phone somewhere. I need to see all of you.” He instructed you so you leaned back against your headboard in front of your now propped up phone.

“This okay?” You asked craving his approval.

“Yeah, baby, just like that. You wanna spread your legs for me? Show me how wet you are.” He confirmed that was what he wanted to see. He began to stroke his cock from the tip to the base. His command had you stifling a moan.

“Fuck, you’re so hot. I miss you so much, T” you whimpered waiting for instructions till he asked for you to touch your clit, and then slowly slide your fingers into yourself. Just watching his cock get harder, hearing him pant on the other side of your phone had you inching closer to your release.

“Keep fucking that pussy,” he groaned. “Yeah, just like that, little faster, baby. Use your other hand and rub that clit again. Tell me how much you miss my cock.” His words had you crumbling. It was a cross between complete desperation, lust, and absence.

“I mi-miss it. I want your cock to fuck me, please. Ple..please I need your cock, T.” You whined. The tension and pressure released all at once causing you to whimper louder as waves of pleasure rippled through you. Your fingers coated in your slick. You couldn’t take your eyes off the screen, Trent repeatedly moaning your name as ropes of his cum spurted from his cock covering his abs. When you both came to, you smiled and wiggled in your bed giggling with him happy to feel the release but also to have achieved making him feel good from miles away.

“Fuck, that was so hot, you’re so beautiful, baby.” Trent said, laughing a little more while he cleaned himself up.

“I love you. Miss having you here with me so much.” You pouted. “Going to be able to sleep now?”

“Yeah, I think I’ll be okay now, thank you.” He chuckled. “I’ll be saving those pictures though, I might need them till I get you back.”

“Yeah, yeah but I think a call may be a little more mutually beneficial.” You giggled. “Goodnight, baby.”

“Love you, pretty girl. Miss you so much. Night.” Pushing his lips out for a virtual kiss before he hung up the phone.

A week later and many similar FaceTimes, you and Dianne were going to the Euro’s. You were traveling for the first match of the tournament. You and Dianne had a great relationship. You had essentially become like a daughter. She spoiled you, she always defended you against the boys teasing, you spent a lot of time shopping together or sitting pitch side. You appreciated her so much for all she did for you since you arrived in Liverpool and loved the idea of a little trip together. You checked into a lovely hotel and settled into your separate rooms but planned to meet up for a breakfast in the morning before you headed off for the stadium tomorrow.

It was the opening match of the group stage and the place was buzzing. You hadn’t seen England play in a big tournament like this yet as Trent’s girlfriend so you didn’t really know what to expect. You hoped you had adapted to life as a ‘wag’ at Liverpool but this was a whole new lot. You had made friends with a few girls you’d met at international friendly matches, the boys you knew on the team, and were excited to be able to see some girls from Liverpool whose partners were playing for other countries. That said as much as you had watched the Euros countless times before, to be there felt so strange. Thank god Dianne was with you. You both had opted to match in Alexander-Arnold white England kit shirts. You kept your outfit pretty casual not wanting to draw too much attention given the mayhem that seemed to be ensuing lately with your every move relatively near a football pitch. ‘Casual’ is all relative though when you are a little bit of a fashion girly so; you paired T’s jersey with R13 Crossover denim shorts, white and gray Prada ‘Downtown’ sneakers, a Mui Mui gray fleece hoodie in case you got cold, your new, very sweetly gifted, navy Dior saddle bag and what felt like just about every piece of gold jewelry you owned; you’d be remiss to not be wearing your prized possession; the white gold diamond Van Clef necklace Trent gave you when he asked you to be his girlfriend. That was always going to be on and the myriad of other little bits and bobs of jewelry he'd given you over time. You liked the look, it felt authentically you: low key but if you looked close enough the finer details told another story and you liked that.

You promised Dianne you’d help up her ‘MaG’ match day fits. You two had started an inside joke considering you were Mum and Girlfriend for Trent in the stands. It was cute and you were elated to help. Outside the stadium, you stopped a girl around your age to take a photo for you with Dianne to keep for a memory and you got that special photo but it also transgressed into plenty of questions because the girl was a fan which was sweet but in turn the exchange was shared to your least favorite part of the internet lately… social football gossip pages.

‘Okay, ICL, Trent Alexander-Arnold’s mum and his presumed girlfriend holding hands walking into the stadium was precious. The mystery girl is definitely no mystery to the fam’

The girl who kindly took a photo for you outside the stadium had also shared with a fan page another photo she had taken unsolicited as you walked away with Dianne.

Dianne held onto your hand still as you walked through the corridors of the stadium while masses of people swirled around you. It was insane. Complete chaos. A familiar chaos, but chaos nonetheless. England had a strong team this year and people were excited to say the least. You made it to your seats and your heart filled with relief seeing the tan skinned pretty pretty boy, smiling beaming, warming up ahead of the match. You leaned onto Diane’s shoulder in repose.

“It’s the best feeling in the world seeing him happy doing what he loves.” Leaning her head on top of yours.

“I know, I feel lucky I get to witness it. Even just to be a small part of the whole experience.”

“Hun, you’re a big part. Things changed when you came to England for him. He’s emotionally never been in a better place.” She cooed.

“I hope so, I just want to be there for him as much as I can. I try not to let my emotions ever sway his, like when I miss him. I don’t know how you’ve done this for so long.” You joked a little because you referring to ‘so long’ was really in reference to from birth to this very moment and having to share her son globally.

“One thing I always know, he does miss us when he’s away. He doesn’t need to tell us but you know he will always, even as focused as he is for work. More specifically, he misses you sweetheart…so much.” She placed a kiss on head. “You make that boy's life outside of all this so much better for him. Easier, happier, calmer, healthier, I could go on… so thank you hun.” Her words had your heart bursting. You always had an open relationship but to get such a verbal confirmation felt really nice.

When a Trent fan account finally published the photo of you and Dianne walking into the stadium together the response was different to the usual wrath of hate you’d receive from the public on the likes of gossip news sites. Instead these fans were enthused by the sighting. Commenting…

‘I feel like she’s probably super sweet if she’s that close with his mum’

‘Seeing her with his family makes me feel like she’s actually a serious girlfriend’

‘Okay, ngl, she actually looks too cool for him lol’

‘Matching with his mum is so precious’

‘Imagine Trent being your boyfriend 😭’

‘She’s with his mum 🥺’

You couldn’t have asked for a better opening match. England dominated and Trent got a decent amount of minutes and during his time on the pitch he managed to assist Bukaya for an unbelievable goal. It was just icing on the cake to see him after a couple weeks, have the result go their way, and to have him play well. When the final whistle blew it was such a special feeling being surrounded by people who all felt just the same as you. It was a big family just supporting boys that had worked so tirelessly to get here, to represent their country. When the team had wrapped up some post match duties they were able to come over to the stands to meet up with their families after the stadium had cleared out. Trent walked over with a smile that made your heart melt. You leaned over the railing to give him the biggest kiss. His arms reached up to grab your face, yours falling around his neck. You both hummed at the satisfaction of being back together. The kiss felt like fireworks for you, your whole body ignited feeling his lips on yours. Trent’s body on the other hand fell into complete comfort and relaxation soothed by your touch.

“Missed you so much, baby.” He whispered his lips ghosting over yours.

“My T” you giggled, pressing one more peck before pulling apart.

“Lemme climb on up, pretty girl.” He needed to get off the pitch over into the stands so he did haphazardly because his body was exhausted.

“You were amazing, sweetie. So proud of you Trenty.” Dianne cooed, giving him a big tight hug. Diane stayed standing but Trent collapsed onto a seat in the stands burnt out.

“T, honestly so good. You were incredible.” Leaning over to give him another kiss. You sat next to him and he wrapped his arms around your waist and laid his head onto your shoulder. He pressed light kisses to it and you did the same to his temple. Dianne stood there talking to you both about the match before going over to talk to Jude Bellingham’s mum, Denise, after spotting her now the match had finished. With the idea of being alone with you, despite being surrounded by friends, family and teammates, Trent sprawled out across a row of seats and laid his head in your lap. You caressed his face and played with his hair while you two gushed about how much you missed each other. He was practically stuck to you. He couldn’t pull his hands or lips off your skin if he tried. Kissing your wrists as they moved over his face, pulling your face down for proper kisses every once in a while, purring as your nails scratched his scalp.

“Trent, come here quick.” Dianne yelled for him evoking a disgruntled face on the boy who had gotten quite comfortable back under your touch. So he stood up and made his way over to talk to the two mums. Despite telling him you’d stay put, he dragged you with him, pushing you in front of him while his hands wrapped around your waist. He kept his chin on your shoulder listening to his mum while his idle fingers played with the belt loops of your shorts. You introduced yourself to Denise who was as kind as her sons were. You’d met and spent a lot of time with both her boys since you moved to England, knowing how polite they were, it made sense she’d be that way as well.

“Going to do a lunch after the group stage with them, five of us, yeah?” Dianne was informing you and Trent about a plan she and Denise had made to go out before the England Team were hosting a little party for all the families.

“That sounds lovely!” You cheerfully smiled liking the idea of getting time together away from other than just seeing the boys from a distance on the pitch. Trent didn’t say anything, he just smiled seeing you smile. He missed the way your cheeks warmed when you did. Jude waddled his way up the stairs of the seats sore from the game coming up to you all, first giving a hug and kiss to his mum, then to Diane and then looked at you, smiled, and then rolled his eyes at Trent who was lost still gazing at you.

“Gonna let go for a minute so we can all say hello?” Jude joked removing Trent’s hands stuck to your body.

“Hi Judey” you giggled giving him a big hug. Lately he and Trent were together most of the time when league play was suspended for breaks and he found himself back in England so you had gotten close. He was coming on your holiday after the tournament. The holiday had funnily become a little bit of a boys trip that included you and your best friend, but moreover Trent obviously, Marcel was coming, Jude, and Jobe, his brother, had decided to tag along, and then a few other boys. You didn’t mind but it was a little comical now. Jude could sense the humor in it and knew your relationship well enough that you just were dying to be laying on the beach with Trent, alone, unbothered, but that more than likely wouldn’t be the case now.

“All good? Ready for this to be over?” You pulled out of his hug rolling your eyes at his comment as he sat down in front of you leaning on the back of a seat a row below you.

“What do you mean! Very excited to be here for the next two weeks” you beamed sarcastically.

“It worries me how good you are at lying. It’s unsettling for my brother” he shoved at your shoulder while glancing at Trent.

“No, seriously! I am actually really excited. This is amazing though. You played so well, lucky to be supporting England.” You clarified.

“Yeah, just don’t open your mouth too much and you might pass as one of us.” Jude teased about your accent but was quickly reprimanded by Denise. She scolded Jude telling him to be nicer and you just smiled relishing in the mum's protection over you.

The boys had to go back to the dressing room after getting to say hello which was bittersweet and came all too quickly. Luckily in a few days time they’d be out of the group stages and would have a few days off so you could see Trent then but right now you had to say bye.

“Call me tonight?” You cooed, draping your arms around Trent’s neck, his arms coming to drop low on your waist pulling his jersey you had on up to caress your skin, dipping his hands into your shorts slyly.

“Course, baby. I’m just so glad you’re here.” He whispered, pulling your body a little closer to his pushing his hips into you.

“Wouldn’t be anywhere else, T.” You quietly said back pressing your nose against his.

“Love you, beautiful” he said with a little peck to your lips.

“I love you.” You sealed with another kiss. Your focus only on each other.

“Honestly, enough. I’m going without you.” Jude dramatically but in, hitting Trent’s arm before proceeding to stand up. Trent said goodbye to the mums, and you again with another swift but sweet kiss and a sneaky squeeze to your ass cheek before hurrying after Jude. He turned and winked at you before disappearing down the tunnel.

Later that evening, the England Instagram account posted a carousel of families reuniting after the first win of the tournament. None directly featured you, Diane or Trent but behind a photo posted of the Bellingham family were you and Trent having a cuddle while sharing a sweet kiss. There definitely was a fair share of comments who caught the affectionate interaction. In turn, cropped images of the photo, zooming in on you two, blew up all over socials again,

‘They’re not even trying anymore lol’

‘I’m happy for them 🥹’

‘Trent, I don’t need to see you cheating on me like this’

‘To kiss that sweaty man, I’d die’

‘Still just avoiding cameras, like fam, we know your together lol’

You and Diane continued going to the remaining group stage matches with England performing well. Trent even bagging a goal so the brief moments seeing him after the games were just so special. Being so close but unable to properly be alone and cuddle or kiss was slightly driving you both insane. So you spent the nights apart FaceTiming only mere hotels, short distances apart. Trent would vent about the games and you listened intently trying your best to not add unnecessary additions to the already noisy commentary he was surrounded by, you’d joke around, if there wasn’t a game directly the following day, things would get a little steamier on the call but overall you just repeated how much you missed being back at home together. More often than not you two just stayed on the phone till you both fell asleep making one of you wake up hours later and having to end the call that had been ongoing for hours of just your sleeping faces lit by phone screens.

As expected the England team finished top of their group so they were to have a few days off before the knockout stage began which meant you got to spend some time with your T. He did have to go to a short morning training session after last night's game but he was coming to meet you and his mum at your hotel to see you both after. You always grappled with sharing Trent but his mom was an exception, she deserved all his time and attention so you were hoping for a little sliver. He met you later in the day after the training session in a tea room of the hotel you and Dianne were staying at and joined you for brunch. Somehow if it was even possible, Trent walked in and looked even more beautiful than he ever did. He seemed to have that effect on you. It didn’t matter if it had been 5 minutes when he’d walk to the kitchen and back or days since you last saw him but when he’d return he somehow looked even more handsome than before. His mum stayed seated and she gave him a little side hug. You opted to stand up to give him a tight hug, you missed his warm embrace. He wrapped his arms around you and his familiar amber smell engulfed you. You could’ve stayed there forever. You kissed his neck gently, subtly, and quietly to keep it hidden from his mum but Trent wasn’t having that.

“Erm…I’d like a proper kiss, beautiful.” He beamed with a big smile, his lips pushing out waiting for you. His hands slid up from around your waist to hold both your cheeks. He placed a heart stopping kiss on your lips and you felt your legs almost give out. He was like a dream all the time. You finally sat and had a nice little meal filled with conversation more so about what was happening back at home than football, he wanted the break from the intensity. When Dianne excused herself to run to the restroom, Trent pulled your chair a little closer to his. He placed another kiss on your cheek.

“What’d you doing, pretty boy?” You cooed, unable to hide the smile he was pulling from you and the flush rising in your cheeks smitten by his flirty move.

“Wanna be closer to my girl” his hand came and wrapped around the back of your neck stroking his thumb over your exposed skin. In your Trents true fashion he had shown up with a little gift for you. “Got you a little something, baby.”

“T!! You don’t always have to do this!” You quipped in feigned annoyance. You gestured to the Dior Saddle bag you were using today again but it still always was a little exciting “I don’t need anything. I just need this.” You said, moving your hand over his resting on his leg, playing with each of his fingers slowly. It was true, just being close to him was enough for you but nevertheless he pulled out a little box.

“Just so you don’t forget where you’re loyaly lies on match days, yeah?” You opened the little jewelry box that had a Monica Rich Kosann locket that opened with two little pictures; one of you and T hugging in the tunnel at Anfield in his Liverpool kit, the other of you and him sharing a cute kiss in his England uniform. It just made you melt. He was so thoughtful and cute. “I know you're technically only half American but don’t you forget whose you are, beautiful. You’re all mine.”

“I’m pretty sure I know who I’ll be rooting for always. Always yours.” You said giggling, “but thank you, baby. I love it and I love you” leaning your head on his shoulder nuzzling into that familiar smell as his arm wrapped around you. He pressed light kisses on your head while you whispered little mushy things back and forth. When Dianne returned she smiled entering the main room seeing that her departure caused your chairs to move inexplicably closer. She liked to see that her very reserved boy found someone to be so comfortable, protective, confident and unequivocally in love with. She sat back down but it wasn’t long until she excused herself again.

“I need a little rest, a shower, and some time to get ready for tonight to keep up my ‘MaG’ looks so I’m going to head up.” She stood up from the table, placing her napkin down, pushing her chair in and placing her hand gently on yours briefly.

“MaG?” Trent questioned, looking between you and his mum for some context on the inside joke he was clearly left out of.

“Don’t worry about it” you laughed in Dianne’s direction telling her if she needed you to text you but she just wanted to let you and Trent to spend some time alone together.

“Thank you hun!” She kissed Trent’s head and squeezed your arm. “I’ll see you both a little later on before we meet with Denise and her boys.” You said your goodbyes but you stayed a little longer cuddled up as close as you can be in a restaurant setting picking at little sandwiches and sweets. Eventually, Trent and you finally left and went up to your room where he dramatically crashed on the bed, rushing to get under the covers like a little boy because he was ‘so tired.’

“T! T! Shoes! Gross!” You squealed, pulling at his arms to get him out and off your freshly cleaned hotel bedding.

“Wowwwww already asking me to take my clothes off. Eager much, baby?” He teased starting to get out of the bed begrudgingly.

“No…no, well” you blushed at his words. “I wouldn’t complain but I just meant if you could not get my bed all dirty I would appreciate it” you gave a genuine smile and a sweet giggle that made his heart falter.

“So you don’t want to be dirty in bed?” he sat up on the bed with a cheeky and devious smile, his legs hung off the side and he held his arms out for you. You moved over and stood between his legs, his hands caressed up your back pulling your shirt up with them, “With me? Not even me baby?” He gave you a look that made you cave immediately. You let him pull your shirt off over your head and after he did your hands reached out to pull his off.

“I missed this body. You’re so fucking beautiful. Been dreaming of this.” He said, dragging the strap of your bra down off your shoulder.

“Dreaming of what, T? What do you need?” You cooed with a sly smirk as your hands played with the waistband of the skirt you still had on.

“I need all of this…” sliding the mini skirt down your legs. “off right now.” He said gently, his words dripping like honey, his hands moving in slow motion. Making your skin burn.

You were standing in front of him completely naked now. He sat back resting on his arms behind him on the bed. The hotel room light cast over you illuminating the dips of your collarbones, highlighting the rise of your tits, the smoothness of your skin. Trent stared in awe just about drooling over his girl.

“Baby, I’m gonna need you here right now.” He said pulling your waist towards him. You sat with your legs on both sides of his and straddled him, feeling his prominent bulge growing harder and harder beneath your wet core.

“And I’m going to need these off, T.” You said pulling off his trousers. In quick motions all clothing was removed, Trent had flipped you over to be on top of you making out passionately, whispers and gasps of ‘I love you’ and ‘missed this so much’ muddled in between messy, sloppy, yearning kisses. You spit a little on your hand and gently gilded it up and down the length of his cock. His fingers slid between your folds gathering your wetness to play with your clit while he dipped two in to help stretch you out.

“Shit, that feels so good, sh-shit, I’m not gonna last very long, it's been a while without you. You’re so fucking tight” Trent was panting, losing focus at just the feeling of you.

“Baby, I need you so bad, can we just ju-just. Please I miss you so much T.” You were moaning as his languid fingers circled your clit begging for him to fuck you. His mouth nipped down your neck before his tongue circled and licked around your hard nipples eliciting a whimper of pleasure from you.

“Yeah, yeah, sweet girl. I’m gonna give you whatever you need.” He groaned. In swift motions he slowly aligned his cock with your core and slid into you. You both gasped at the contact. He moved slowly inch by inch but he just wanted to get as deep as possible. He missed this feeling like nothing else. His thick cock hit your g spot almost immediately once he was in. He felt so deep and the stretch of him being back inside you had your mind turn to complete mush. You lost any control you had when he was fully inside. The force and pace of his thrusts increased and so did the volume of both your moans. “You’re such a good girl, so fucking wet for me.” He said hearing the sounds of your slick as he dragged his cock slowly out of you and watched himself push all the way back thrusting harder. Your legs wrapped around him. You were whining in pleasure. Your lips parted gasping at the sensation of him. You both were moaning inexplicable phrases of praise, love, and adoration. You were completely obsessed with each other and how good the sex was only amplified it.

“Oh my fu-fucking god, T, you feel so good.” You felt tears fill your lash line. His cock rammed deep inside you again and again, hitting a spot only he knew, while his finger pressed rough circles around your clit. He dipped his head a little and played with your nipples more, pulling at them and biting. You could barely handle the sensory overload so you bit harshly onto his shoulder to try to quiet your moans.

“Fuck, baby, your pussy’s so perfect for me. Taking me so well.” He growled moving to nibble at your ear, his hot breath on your skin had your orgasm approaching faster and faster. He pulled back nearly all the way out and hammered back in. Tears started to roll down your cheek. Your arms wrapped around his body so tight your nails were digging into his skin leaving deep crescent marks while Trent continued to fuck you at an inhuman pace.

“I missed you, I missed this. You feel so fucking good. I want this forever.” You babled as your legs started to tremble. Your orgasm was getting closer and closer. Your eyes rolled back as you heard him moan your name again, again, and again.

You were getting lost in the pleasure that your T was giving to you while he was just as infatuated by your body and the sounds you were making had him fighting to not cum without you getting to orgasm first.

“You have me forever.” He whispered barely getting the words out softly in your ear. In a split second you felt your pussy spasm at the tenderness of his words and his rough strokes. You soaked his cock completely when you felt his release fill you up so much, it began to seep out while he was still inside. He laid on top of you for a while before he spoke again.

“I’m so addicted to you, beautiful. Can’t be away from you like this.” He murmured laying on your chest completely exhausted

“I guess we’re both addicts then” you giggled tracing your fingers up his spine. He continued laying there just holding you. You kissed him slowly. You were both so tired in the hotel room. “My sleepy, sleepy, needy boy.” You cooed, pressing your lips on his warm skin. You were so authentic with each other. Being back together felt like a saccharine summertime daydream. Feeling your New York daydream turned into your reality. Your love was undiluted, nothing felt better than being physically connected like this .

“We have to go soon, baby.” Trent finally picked his head up to nuzzle into your neck placing kisses all over your skin. If you could bottle this feeling forever you would, it was worth more than its weight in gold.

“I just want another cuddle, pleaseee” you whined childishly and in turned caused Trent to just let all his body weigh on top of you and wrap his arms so tight around you thought you couldn't breathe but the sound of his joyful laugh had you able to completely disregard the bone crushing pressure and just relish in the moment. You wanted to hear him happy, you wanted to see that beautiful smile pull across his face, the smile lines wrinkle, his little dimples appear so you let it ensue. Eventually you both got up and started to get dressed to meet with the Bellinghams; Denise, Jude, and Jobe at the restaurant and to meet Dianne downstairs at the hotel.

Trent needed to shower but you opted not to because your hair would take too long to do if you did which disappointed Trent because he claimed he needed your ‘help’ but in reality he just wanted another round of messing about to his disappointment you held your ground. Instead you began your skincare and makeup at the vanity in the hotel bathroom before moving back to the bedroom and sitting with a pout looking at your suitcase confused.

“What do you think I should wear? I don’t know Denise that well and I don’t know what people have said about me so I don’t want to like… I don’t know, mess up.” You nervously babbled rummaging through your suitcase on the floor.

“You look beautiful in anything.” Trent picked you up off the ground to give you a hug still wet from his shower.

“That’s incredibly unhelpful, T, seriously.” He placed a kiss on your forehead to try to calm your nerves. “Erm… I’m wearing this,” said showing you the outfit he had layed out of the bed. “If that helps at all.”

“Baby… I picked that out though” so you both started laughing.

Because you were going to the England team’s event after you wanted to be a little ‘on theme’ but not exactly sporting Saint George’s cross. You picked a pair of white linen trousers from Cult Gaia, a navy and white striped knit tank from Kule, paired with a Bottega Veneta mini sunrise bag in red, you also opted to bring a Jacquemus denim jacket in case you got cold. Oh! And of course shoes so red Manolo Blahniks were the choice. Your boobs were on display a little bit from not wearing a bra with the top but having a jacket would be a good cover. The pants fit your waist perfectly and when standing showed off your incredible figure. You wanted to be casual so your shoe choice was flats. Once you were dressed you walked over to help fix the collar of Trent’s shirt. He wore tailored khaki cargo style pants, a white t-shirt, a Rhude button up open overtop and a pair of Louis Vuitton trainer sneakers.

“You’re so so so handsome. It’s a little unfair.” You said as he stood in front of a full length mirror inspecting his outfit and you went and wrapped your hands around his biceps and leaned your head on his shoulder.

“I have to keep up with you don’t I?” He cheekily said, squeezing his hands around your waist and pulling you in for a kiss.

You went to the lobby and Dianne asked if you wanted a photo, well she wanted one of you two, you obliged not particularly upset about capturing memories. Trent and you took a few and Dianne gushed over how beautiful she thought you both were. You had Dianne send them to you and Trent but neither of you posted the photo. Your camera rolls were filled with photos like this that never saw the light of day only when they were printed and hung in the house or a rare occasion where you’d post a more subtle pic of you holding hands walking down the street in your fits like you did tonight.

You held hands as you walked down cobble streets till you saw the Brummie Bellingham family waiting outside the restaurant for dinner. The group of the three boys, two mums, and yourself filed into the restaurant and per usual heads began to turn. Trent was one thing but Jude out in public was another animal… the two of them together; Pandora’s box. You sat at a table nestled in the back of a nice restaurant, you were relieved your outfit of choice was appropriate. To no one’s surprise, you sat close to Trent. One part of the table had a booth for seating and you took his lead so Trent helped you slid in before he followed. Your thighs were touching immediately, one hand wrapped around your waist low with his thumb in between the fabric of your trousers and your skin. The other gripped high on your leg till he needed to use it to look at a menu. Trent, Jude, Jobe honed in on some conversation regarding a referee error that happened in another countries group match. You nodded your head following along, you had seen the story, and Trent had explained it at length. Trent pulled on your waist to get you to be a little closer to him so you gave into his wishes and placed your head on his shoulder. He placed a kiss onto your hair in between sentences. Dianne and Denise were talking about something you couldn’t really hear but they were engrossed in their own back and forth until Dianne tapped at your hand that was resting on the table top.

“Hmm?” You picked up your head with a smile turning towards her. Trent unphased with his hand still gripping you tight.

“Come talk with us sweetheart.” She cooed, gesturing her head towards the other side of the table. You didn’t need his permission but you looked at Trent peeling his fingers off your waist to slide over to talk to the mums before whispering in his ear.

“Okay?” You asked with no real expectation for an answer you just wanted to note what you were doing.

“You can only listen to so much hun.” Denise spoke with a smile you hadn’t really seen her crack yet. Another mum of only boys made you nervous.

“It’s fine, I think when I hit the 15th time discussing the same call, I start to check out a little.” You giggled picking up a glass of wine, bringing it slowly to your lips holding it there a little longer after your sip.

“I understand that, imagine over 20 years of football chaos all day every day. It’ll never end.” Dianne and Denise laughed reminiscing about going from grassroots teams to the biggest stadiums in the world with their little boys.

“I don’t mind. I do actually love football…” you paused and giggled a little before your gaze drifted away from them to Trent. “Maybe not to the same extent of course but it’s nice when people are passionate about something, really love, devote, and care about it.” Your eyes fell back towards them but more so to the table where you played with the rings on your fingers. Trent felt your gaze but missed the connection so he reached over a little and linked his pinky with your hand that was on the seat of the booth before giving you a soft smile. Denise and Dianne watched the exchange and the way your words softened talking about being passionate and what it meant to really love something catching that it wasn’t maybe only about football but about someone sitting at the table who was playing football.

“I heard you followed football before you moved here, is that right?” Denise asked, giving you a sweet smile.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s always been something my dad and I bonded over, had a connection with, I actually played till I was around 16 or so but didn’t really want to play at university so it faded out but when I got older following a team with my dad really kept us close and that’s important to me. We’ve created some of the best memories together at matches.” You rambled a bit, maybe it was the wine, or just panic trying to speak to Denise but you felt a little on edge.

“You did not play footie! That’s bullshit.” Jude’s head turned towards you.

“Jude…” Denise gave a stare that if it was directed at you, you’d probably cry but he just shrugged.

“Sentiment still stands, I don’t believe that.” Jude scoffed.

“Nah, she did! Kept the little secret in her back pocket for a while.” Trent confirmed it was in fact true with a little chuckle.

“Okay, well I wasn’t going to walk up to you people who do it professionally and be like ‘oh I played too!’ That’s embarrassing.” You sarcastically swayed your head back and forth making fun of how ridiculous it would’ve been.

“It still would’ve been interesting to know.” Jobe piped up and it made you smile. You just wanted to pinch his cheeks but he was older than that, definitely not as naive as he played but truly was adorable.

“Thanks, Jobe” you gave him a heartfelt smile. “Jude, you just listening in on our conversation?” You teased picking up your fork and pointing it at him.

“Nah, nah, you’re not all that interesting.” Jude pointed his fork at you emphasizing ‘you’ while he rolled his eyes.

“I’d say otherwise but each their own.” You imitated the same shrug he did earlier.

“You’ve had quite a whirlwind couple of years though sweetheart, at least from what I’ve heard. What did you do before you moved to the UK?” Denise, now interested in how you ended up at this dinner table and that there were things her boys were even still learning about.

“Oh, um, I went to university for a degree and then worked in fashion for a little and in what felt like a blink of an eye I ended up here.” You smiled, oversimplifying your backstory.

“Wow, Hun! Pretty, smart, funny, pushes back against my Jude. Trenty, you’ve got a good one.” Denise cooed looking at Trent whose eyes were still fixed on you from when you were speaking.

“Yeah, absolutely perfect. Worth getting her to move countries innit” Trent gushed eyes still stuck on you before sliding your body back over to him to wrap his arms around your frame placing a little peck on your neck.

“Done well” Dianne cooed, smiling at Trent’s clear obsession while taking a sip from her glass.

“Well then you’ve suddenly become my default to keep all the boys in line on this Greece holiday.” Denise joked a little but it was laced with a bit of seriousness.

“I always do, she’s been looking after mine for a bit now.” Dianne creased, the two mums were having a laugh themselves so you let it play out. The bulk of dinner wrapped up and Denise and Dianne decided they’d let the four of you get up to some nonsense without them so they said their goodbyes, hugs and kisses, and started to walk away from the table.

“Di, he is in love with that girl.” Denise quietly spoke to Dianne as they walked.

“Oh, I’m aware. It’s mutual too, think she’s more shy about the affection because he’s in his element or spaces he’s already familiar with but it’s totally infatuation all the time”

“Think they want to get married?” Denise asked the blatant question.

“I know Trent would, he’s slyly mentioned looking at rings but I keep my mouth shut.” Diane smiled just keeping her eyes forward as Denise glanced back at the table.

“It’s the only way we get any information now, just being quiet I swear” Denise laughed at the reality of their situations.

“She’s so good for him and he’s good to her. They make each other so happy, their house is gorgeous and so warm. It makes my heart full that they built this all from some whirlwind interaction.” She paused having a think. “Oh, god, you know what, yeah I’d really want that for them. Whole family loves that girl to bits.” Dianne babbled getting caught in the idea of what the future had in store for you and Trent.

You and the three boys decided to grab the check but go to the bar, you didn’t really need to sneak Jobe in with you like you normally would with a younger boy just being with Jude and Trent was like going anywhere with a free pass so it was no problem.

On cue, a few girls approached asking for photos with the boys so you happily helped take some for them. They wanted individual photos with Jude and then Trent. When one girl was posing for her photo with Trent she was a little bit more handsy than you cared for but it was only a photo so you bit your tongue. She wrapped her arm around his waist and placed her palm over his chest like a couple may pose. Jobe gripped your shoulder with his hand sensing the tension as you tapped away taking the photos on her phone. Even he knew it was probably a step too far on the girls' part. The other girl waiting for her turn for photos with Jude and Trent squealed a little.

“Literally you look like a couple! You’d be so cute together.” The fan said with a cheeky wink to her friend. Jude was quick to cut the encounter, none of you wanted to make a big deal but it still didn’t make you feel great.

“Alright darling, you want your picture with me too or just Trentski, C’mere” Jude cooed with false flirtation. The girl detached and Jobe said he’d take the remaining photos. You were polite and smiled to the girls and let them know if they needed you to take more you would but Trent walked up to you and draped his arms over your shoulder, his hands caressing the back of your head before you could really do anything else.

“Getting jealous, pretty girl?” Pressing his nose against yours. “Hmm, baby?” His lips pulled into a sly smile. You leaned in and rested your head on his chest before you started pressing light kisses over his shirt up to his collarbone and then his neck, all the way to his ear.

“Don’t like seeing you with someone else,” you quietly admitted. “You’re mine, baby.” You pouted your lips, he couldn’t see but could probably feel them roll against his skin. He grabbed both your cheeks and held your face out in front of his. You innocently looked up at him through your lashes. He teased you a little bit pressing small kisses to your neck now the same way you did to him but his were heavy with a more sensual motive. He heard you purr a little at the sensation so he took it a step further and began whispering against your sensitive skin about what he was going to do to you back in your hotel room; his words interspersed by kisses. You tried to hold back a moan before pulling him in for a proper kiss needing one to hold you over knowing you were in for a long night of cheeky hand placements and sultry kisses until you made it back to the promised land i.e your hotel room.

•

Thank you for continuing reading! Comment or message what you think of the chapter / series … 🤍

Next Part - Chapter 20 xx

[the-tmnt-ficfinder]

Christmas Kindness submission

To Qoldenskies,

I’ll straight up say it. You write my favourite Donnie angst out there. There’s the obvious masterpiece that is the Canary Continuity, and the horrifically underrated Coming Undone. Both are such visceral, heartbreaking experiences that I have enjoyed from start to finish. And Caged Lungs broke me down. Miner’s Eulogy was what shattered me, though, and Clipped Wings? What a RIDE. With each chapter you post, I can’t believe we’re getting closer to the END. Not the END. I don’t want it to end, but it’s gotta. We do need that promised happy ending.

Honestly, your interpretations of the characters? Especially Donnie? They’re so well thought-out and clever. There’s so many important layers to them and what drives them, and it all comes together SO WELL. You’ve definitely done your homework and put a lot of care into your stories. It shows.

What I also have to praise is how beautifully crafted the writing ITSELF is. The metaphors and parallels are so clever. You use them masterfully to paint a better picture of the characters and their struggles. It’s like you have two narratives running at once, sometimes, the obvious one, and the supporting one that explains so much. I don’t always catch that, since I’m not that smart, but I know it’s there. Commenters help me out by bringing attention to it. 

Emotions? Spot on. I feel so much, and the experiences are painted so viscerally that it’s hard not to feel along with the characters.

And I wanted to also bring up one more thing. I really like how you ‘distort’ and break up the dialogue when the characters are in distress. The stammering, the added words, (for examples, “I’m— I’m too muh-ch,” “something’s wro-wrohng, Raph and Leo are ouh-out—“ (cu) “I’ll d-do– I’ll do any-hhh-thing,” “I’ll– I’ll clean it up, I promi- hhh -se!” (cl)) really helps me HEAR how they’re talking. I’ve never seen stuttering or dragged-out words articulated so ‘as-said’— meaning, that is exactly the noises they’d be making if you heard them (particularly the shuddering of breath that accompanies then ‘hhh’, if that makes sense). This is probably my favourite little detail exclusive to your work. I absolutely love it. It’s such a small thing but it definitely enhances the reading experience.

Because I don’t want to leave out your ‘smaller’ fics, I wanted to say that I have read Circomvating Death, too. It definitely is a nice little refresher to all the angst (but I LOVE angst), and I’ve enjoyed the humorously chaotic adventures of Donnie and Casey Jr. Whenever you get back around to writing for that, I’ll look forward to seeing where they go next!

And Enhancements? Short but sweet pain. The idea of NO existing painkillers working on them makes a lot of of sense. The super-soldier piece is such a fun little concept to play around with, whether for badass purposes or whump. I also love seeing the concept referenced in your other stories. It works great as a little headcanon establishment. It doesn’t need to be a massive masterpiece to still be great.

I know you’re also planning Where We Went Wrong as a B-team sep AU, and I’m definitely looking forward to that and your bad things happen bingo prompts! I know all that’s in the right hands, and 

You have a lot of talent, and you deserve all the positive feedback, fan art, and fanfics you’ve gotten so far.

And I did read the post where you said that your family is too poor to celebrate Christmas, but I hope you can cherish the time you all have together regardless (and beat that Christmas Curse that’s plagued you for the past couple years). <3 Have a great one! Wishing you all the best.

@qoldenskies

Christmas Kindness Event Post

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Day 91

Besties i’m so fucking glad i don’t have that music video looming over my head anymore, like yeah i’m writing this on day 82 so it’s not ACTUALLY off of my chest yet but still. Oh right- the topic.

“So Elegant, So Vulgar” from School Life of Mutual Loving, by MarySutcliff

So this ones special! And the reason its special is also the reason I did it first! It was a bit hard to figure out, but if looking at the date of the collection of stories is correct, and putting it and putting it against other fics of the same nature, this chapter is the FIRST Soft Junkan Fic on AO3. If i’m wrong that’s my bad but I think the time of release for this one (which I can only speculate because I don’t know the best way to check)?

So it only seemed right to make something based off of it, for the culture! Though it wasn’t easy, this fic is a bit more . . . abstract? That’s probably an awful word to describe it as but I’m not good at this. The story switches perspective between several characters, in a way that pleases my brain as we loop between them, starting from Junko and ending at Junko. Now the format and the very internal way this fic was written posed the question of how the hell I was supposed to visualize it. Eventually I just tried to mimic the way the story was formatted, every character layered on top of eachother with Junko and Mikan exclusively in the center.

It’s really hard to describe but you can probably just look at it and see what I mean?

As for the fic itself! 

It’s nice! I very unfortunately don’t have a lot to say beyond paying my respects for it’s place in Junkan History, and it’s extremely pleasing and unique format. Admittedly I do find the dialogue, both internal and external, a bit, jarring? Nothing that truly detracts from the piece, just feels off in a way that isn’t there with some of this author’s other stories. 

I won’t be complaining though! I’m a gal who struggles to really critically chip into the things she takes in, I prefer to just enjoy what I’m given despite it’s flaws. I don’t blindly enjoy everything of course, there are pieces of media i either don’t feel positively on (or anything on), and even some pieces that truly bring out the worst in me. I am a woman who holds deep burning angry and spite inside of her, I just choose to try and not make it anyones problem but my own!~ Simply put while I may air small issues here and there, the coming days of fic adaptations will be more about showing my love for the work that I’ve read dozens of times and have helped somewhat satiate my constant need for Junkan, rather than picking apart everything that may or may not be wrong with them, very sorry if ya’ll were looking for something like that!~ Hopefully my happy go lucky lifestyle will suffice in its stead!

As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~

[agentc0rn]

Another Pretty Long Character Analysis: Kieran and Nemona - Strength

disclaimer: not claiming this to be objective, just another writing piece full of thoughts done for fun because Kieran is such an interesting, in depth character ever

Okay so I mentioned this in my older post about kieran being the foil of nemona and their shared struggles with being at the top, socially excluded, and how strength as social arbiter displaced them in social settings. Like Kieran, Nemona became overly strong that no one wanted to compete and keep up with. Her passion is misread because of that plus the top statuses she holds as a wealthy multi-talented, high-achieving student. She is a good person and true to herself (her naivety to social cues perhaps is because of her lack of social connections with others). She means well and just want someone to battle with their efforts no matter the outcome and enjoy to the fullest. Battling is her expression of self, her way of enjoyment and connecting with others. Kieran is alike to an extent, with his strength already at a high level (stated by Carmen in the beginning), and his joyous expression seen during our first fight. This is supported by the fact as stated by Drayton how Kieran had fun battling pre-Teal Mask. These two rivals' love for battles run parallel with each other!

However, Kieran's transition reflects a common mindset that artists, athletes, musicians, etc. all resonate with: competitiveness + measure of worth in the things you like the most - you have to be good at them. I feel this strongly as well with art being my major source of passion - I pressured myself into thinking I had to be really good at it and not enjoy for the sake of doing it regardless of skills.

Battling was not only something Kieran liked doing, it was his main source of confidence and self-esteem.

We see that clear in Blueberry Academy, in dialogues and student culture, competitiveness is high, demanding, and brutal. Kieran may have internalized the idea, provided with his insecurity of weakness and his goal to become independent and reliant. Seeing that we were able to defeat him and sister with ease, he grew to admire but also envious of our esteemed strength, how our power seems to be favored by luck (having speical mons like Koraidon), inducing him to believe that if he worked hard, he could get to our level too. To add further, his lifelong admiration of Ogerpon supports his motivation and his aforementioned desire to be stronger. He wanted to be strong and cool as the ogre, not caring what others thought.

What I find interesting is how Kieran and Nemona handles their way of battling with us. Nemona guides you through the journey while challenging herself to learn in new ways - she restarts her journey essentially. For Kieran, even though he has experience, he struggles with the losses against us (confidence issues and again, aside our MC Role, there is some skill difference given that we fought the titans, area zero mons, team star, and gym leaders). He does change up his tactics, but ultimately does not see victory. He ends up restarting in a way back at BB academy. As a result, Kieran becomes more isolated throughout his training arc and his domination in the league. Him strictly calling out others for slacking inadvertently turns him into the fearsome "oni" figure that he idolized and thus earns him an unfavorable reputation as the president (similar status with Nemona) of the League, for instance, a dialogue between two students mentions how how ever since he became champ, the League club became less fun....Despite the contrast of tensity in these circumstances, Nemona is misunderstood in similiar manner with Kieran.

If memory serves correct, Nemona really gets into the battling mood and sometimes forgets about hers and others' limits, but does acknowledge them given a few instances when she does not battle you. Whereas for Kieran, once he entered the extreme zone, he fully devotes himself to strength at the cost of his mental, social and physical well-being. He discards his limits, giving everything he has got that ultimately eats him from the inside. The final scene when he reacts to losing may also show not just his struggle to grasp reality but a literal side effect on his health (no sleep = poor mood, poor thinking)

He desperately clings to the idea that endless training would grant him the guaranteed chance to beat you ("I know I am making the right choice") and no longer enjoys battling. Battling became a constant test of worth, the last and only means of proving himself. Even though he did become stronger, it drained his health, energy, sanity and reputation. Again, in an ironic way, he really became the oni (self filling prophecy).

at the end however, when we reach out to him to be confident in himself, that we needed his help, it gave him that confidence boost. We all believed in him - he really needed that support. Maybe seeing terapagos going berserk had him gain self awareness that he was like that too and how that caused harm to not only himself but to others.

One small thing to point out that he is like Terapagos in a way. Both are small, secluded and strong lads who end up going wayhire with their mass power.

Not to sound corny but I really felt Kieran’s frustration about losing. I was competitive too but soon let go of that. It’s fine to improve yourself but doing that to be better than others as your main reason can really cause burnout. Anyways this is a disorganized list of thoughts I wanted to share but if you read it the entire thing I really do got to say thank you for taking the time to do so.

EDIT: fixed some grammar and stuff because this was just a run-on draft lol

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hey!! I really admire your writing so I thought that maybe you could lend me a hand w smth... Do you happen to have some tips or exercises to get out of a writing block?

Or well, idk if I'd call what I'm struggling with that- is just... Whenever I try to write stories, my brain just isn't capable. Like. I know what I want and I know how I want it to sound but words just don't come out and if they do they don't feel good at all. And I /was/ able to do it before. It's like a part of my mind got blocked. I was reading your Miss Raven lore and what she studies while trying to create her UM made me think of this problem I'm having- the part rediscovering a part of oneself that was lost... or something like that.

So I thought that maybe you knew of some exercises or just... Something? Anything? If not I totally get it tho- sorry for rambling

[Referencing this series!]

Hello, hello!! ^^ Thank you for complimenting my writing, your support's much appreciated! I hope you can continue to enjoy my work~

I think I understand what you're going through. Gosh knows how many pieces I have on the backburner... but never enough time or motivation to finish them all. Having ideas is the easy part; actually fleshing out those ideas into fics is tricky, especially since we creatives can easily be our own worst critics. I'm pretty finicky with my own action scenes, dialogue, and emotionally intense moments and have to edit, revise, or completely rewrite them multiple times until it's sounding the way I want it to. Writer's block gets to us all sometimes. It's a natural part of being a creator so don't be shamed or worried!

abldsbuaodadfjnla It's interesting that you mentioned Miss Raven's struggles when describing your own. When I was in the process of writing her saga, I wanted her problems to be relatable and meaningful to others in some way. I'm glad that it happened to help you identify something within yourself 😃

Here are some of the things that I personally do to get out of writing slumps. This is what works for me, so I cannot guarantee that they will also work for you--but hopefully this at least gives you some kind of starting point!

Take a walk! Touch grass! It's good to get your mind off of creating and just... take a breather. You'd be surprised how refreshing it is to get fresh air and sunshine. Who knows, you might also see something on your walk that inspires you.

Take a nap! If you have an interesting dream, write it down. It could become a cool idea somewhere down the line.

Talk to a friend; it helps to have a new perspective to bounce ideas off of.

Read a book! Sometimes getting a sense of how someone else shares their ideas can inspire you to work on your own style.

Use another hobby as a creative outlet. For me, that's scrapbooking/journaling and baking. Don't set limits or rules, let yourself work at your own pace and have fun.

Start small, like writing some dialogue exchanges or a sentence or two.

Do writing or character prompts. You can find prompts of your own or use a website to generate random combinations.

Another exercise I like to do is writing a short story based solely on a random image. You can find images yourself or have a friend hand you one. It helps stretch the creative muscles!

The most important thing is to allow yourself the chance to rest and recover! No one can be a content making machine 24/7; that’s not what humans were built for. Be kind to yourself!!

Good luck with your writing~ ^^

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 43 – ENEMIES TO LOVERS

Perfect Match by BladeoftheNebula

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 9,011 Tags: Office AU, A/B/O, Arranged Marriage

Summary: All Steve wants to do is get through his omega work placement and get out. Too bad Tony Stark, the alpha son of the CEO, is such a dick.

Reasons why I love it: Two workaholics walk into an office... I love this fic so much! Steve struggling to fight for his place on the alpha team is mildly infuriating in the best kind of way, made even better when Tony finally figures out how wrong he was about Steve. And I absolutely love the ending, it's sweet and spicy, exactly how I like it. Definitely check this one out, because it's fantastic!

maybe they are by Areiton

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 1,415 Tags: College AU, Established Relationship, Professors Steve and Tony

Summary: “Maybe they fucked and Stark broke his heart,” Teddy says, watching Stark standing next to a table full of grad students, talking animatedly, waving his coffee as Rogers dodged by, giving him a dirty look. Or: That professors fic I've been promising to write.

Reasons why I love it: This is such a fun AU! I love all the students speculating about Steve and Tony, their characterizations are perfect. And I especially love those last few paragraphs with Riri's introspection about what she's found out about them. This fic is lovely, and you should definitely read it!

Love in the Dark by mombasas

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 6,916 Tags: Neighbor AU, Sleep Deprivation, Competitive Streak

Summary: The guy who lives in the apartment next to Steve's is a nocturnal sex addict with a complete lack of volume control, and Steve's not going to take that lying down. Or, well. (Neighbors-with-a-shared-bedroom-wall AU in which Steve and Tony get into a not-so-passive passive-aggressive sex war, despite never having actually met.)

Reasons why I love it: Oh my god, how is this so hilarious and hot as hell at the same time? I love how both Steve and Tony are such human disasters that instead of going the rational route and talking things out, they get caught up in this competition. It's amazing and only made more so by the writing, which is fantastic. Definitely check this one out, I love it so much!

To Dwell on Dreams by fandomfrolics

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 12,178 Tags: Modern Setting, Dreamsharing, Hate Sex

Summary: A series of increasingly vivid dreams prompt Tony Stark to move back to New York City after ten years, much to the excitement of the press. Steve Rogers, ex-soldier and popular political cartoonist, is not quite as thrilled. After he publishes an unflattering cartoon of the reclusive billionaire, he's granted exclusive access to do an in-depth piece on the person nobody's heard from in the last ten years.

Reasons why I love it: The contrast between the waking world and their shared dreamscape is so good! A secret identity can truly work wonders, ey? I love how they slowly but surely grow closer as Steve figures out who Tony really is, and I especially enjoyed the dialogue in the elevator. Defintely check this one out if you haven't yet, it's wonderful!

You Take My Breath Away by jellybeanforest

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 8,652 Tags: Hanahaki Disease, Hate Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending

Summary: Tony had watched his mother wither away from the flowers growing in her lungs. Though he is uncertain whether Howard was the reason, he never forgave him for prioritizing the search for Captain America over his mother’s life. He vowed never to fall to the same illness, to never take even a passing interest in his father’s all-consuming obsession. He fails on both accounts.

Reasons why I love it: I've always loved Hanahaki fics, and this one is a fantastic version of the trope. It's heartbreaking to see how hard Steve is trying to get closer to Tony while Tony is utterly convinced that his only chance of survival is to eradicate all love between them. The angst is amazing, the resolution is almost funny with how passive-aggressive they both are, and I love the hopeful ending. This fic is great, and you should definitely read it!

[qoldenskies]

Hello!!

My apologies for not commenting on your recent canary continuity updates, I did read them and I very much enjoyed!!

I thought it'd be easier to make a tumblr account to ask questions, interact, and support your work more readily than my usual "I'm here, I'm here!!" comments. Apologies if they've gotten dry lmfaoo

I am unsure if you've answered this before, but may I ask what your writing process is? I've made a pseud on ao3 in preparation for some major ideas I have, but for literal years I've enjoyed the ideas and concepts I think up, while being unable to understand how to write them into scenes, and of course stitch those scenes together smoothly. Of course, nothing is as beneficial as personally practising and developing my own style, but if you don't mind sharing tips, advice, etc. I'd greatly appreciate it!

Sorry for my waffling, warbling, yapping.. I'll try to be as active on tumblr as I am on other platforms ejzbwbshebdb

- Basil

OMG HI!!! your "im here" comments always mean a lot to me because i do notice the absence of consistent commenters and it makes me a little sad lmfao (and also worried like .... was i less impressive. do i need to lock in. do i have extreme social anxiety and like fourty other issues? probably yes to all three /silly)

i stg can my computer trying to convince me its spelled "forty" idc if im american that will NEVER be correct knock it AWFFFF

OKAY OKAY

i think a really good piece of music can go a long way for getting ideas. i discovered and rediscovered a lot of music while making cc, and honestly it really helped me plot out a lot of big scenes,,, imagining little animatics to music is surprisingly a net positive for me LOL

after that i tend to just write down every big thing i have plans for; it's not bad to start with only one scene! in a very very early draft for canary continuity, the curse was originally meant to account for the attack at the end of CL, and it was always meant to go EXACTLY like that. i cannot remember exactly what changed my mind and made me decide to do slowburn, but i actually think it was in the wake of CU doing pretty well i was like "what if i played around with the premise but his insecurities were actually right" and now here i am. 180k words into this thing.

anyways

when it comes to oneshots (and longer chapters, in the case of the final two CW chapters) i tend to just make a checklist of what i want for the scenes and kind of shuffle them around until i find something cohesive. for multichapters, i tend to do a checklist of things i want to happen/establish/progress per chapter; for the first ten chapters of CW or so, it was mostly me wanting to address certain things before going forward and getting into the meat of the plot. sometimes these things can be wildly different, the point is just seeing if i can string them together into a coherent chapter, especially if im going for something that isnt so action-packed like the case is for a good portion of CW haha

and if im struggling with it still, sometimes i'll write a full summary of a chapter kind of like id be describing/summarizing an episode of a tv show i watched. i get unserious with it sometimes, its okay to be silly.

and for dialogue-heavy scenes i DO recommend scripting before filling out dialogue tags/actions/etc!! it helps keep the conversations directed and coherent, for me at least. and sometimes it makes it get longer and longer which ngl i consider a treat ... Content,, im thinking all of wwww is going to be written like this first, i'll just include action and stuff in my script. i'll see how it turns out!

ALSO recommendation from me to you, its a winning formula when REALLY starting projects that you dont have to start with a bunch of exposition. in the case for both canary continuity AND coming undone i just kind of slapped the reader in the middle of a scene and it turned out just great!! the setup doesn't always have to be super detailed and can always be fleshed out in later scenes. i notice writing a good beginning is always the hardest thing for me so that's the best advice i can give LOL

sorry im not sure how helpful this is, but here's what i got! i just kind of do whatever works and i take a lot of notes for my ideas, which are usually pretty. lol deranged and scattershot

[alfiereot]

my top 5 video games of all time (w/ recommendations)

Deus Ex Human Revolution

Why I like it

I fell in love with the world of Deus Ex back in 2011. The cyberpunk immersive story of Adam Jensen and his growing involvement against a high elite group illustrated a vision of world based on distrust and control of information. Human Revolution creates an extremely believable future which is inspired and grounded, with an enormous selection for approaching combat. This is probably my most replayed game of all time, and I cannot fathom the hours I’ve spent just reading every single piece of lore the game ever offered me. The immersive sim genre, of which Human Revolution belongs to, is one of the most underrepresented in the industry. I cannot come with an answer of why this is the case, but I think it is widely rewarded that Human Revolution, the successor of one of the genre originators, is a true to name sequel that should be experience at least once.

Other games like it

Deus Ex Mankind Divided: The sequel to Adam Jensen’s story, this is a contender for my favourite game of all time. There are two major reasons on why this has not dethroned Human Revolution as my favourite. The first one is the nostalgia Human Revolution has, as it was one of my first PS3 games. For the second one, you can tell the story presented in Mankind Divided is incomplete. A sequel was under-works but has so far been cancelled by Eidos Montreal new owners. But Mankind Divided is a great game by itself that improves on every system its predecessor introduced, while boasting an incredible city hub that is still lauded to this day.

Prey: I have so far only played the first couple of hours of one Arkane Austin’s most acclaimed games, but even I can tell how much magic the title boosts. The game offers deep combat rooted in the immersive sim genre and created an environment full of secrets to find. Additionally, I have also heard Prey’s DLC, Mooncrash is probably one of the best expansions ever done for a video game. It is quite a shame the game sold so little copies.

God of War: Ragnarök

Why I like it

Originally, I had God of War (2018) as the entry on this list. Over the last couple of months, I have been able to experience the sequel meticulously crafted by Sony Santa Monica, and I can honestly say it surpasses the original in every single way possible. I know one of its gripes is the story is not singularly focused as the one found in 2018, but I honestly believe it is for the better. Every single twist and turn offered by Ragnarök kept me on the edge of my seat, and it reinforced my believe that video games are the best media for storytelling. Maybe it’s the fact you get to experience the story first hand, or that you get to feel Kratos AND Atreus’ struggle firsthand, or just that the medium inherently has more room to breathe, but I do believe my 53 hours experience with Ragnarök, and Valhalla, reflects the best the medium has to offer. My favourite parts of the game are just taking a opportunity to reflect on the events of the story as me, Kratos, Atreus and Mimir told stories to provide a sense of safety and levity.

Other games like it

God of War (2018): If you like Ragnarök you evidently are going to enjoy God of War (2018). I do think it is meant to be enjoyed before Ragnarök, as it was clearly envisioned as a two-part story. This way you get to fall in love with the recurring characters, and you complete the character journey of Kratos and Atreus.

Portal 2: It’s been over a decade since I got a chance to experience Portal 2, so I really need to go back and replay the title. However, I do believe Portal 2 and Ragnarök share some DNA, specially where it comes to dialogue and writing. The first is inherently shorter than Ragnarök, but every single minute is packed with a sense of wonder which is enhanced with the incredible character writing. Whether it is GLADOS coming up with a joke at your expense or Mimir telling a captivating story, I do believe fans can find enjoyment in each one.

Sly Cooper Series

Why I like it

I officially started my gaming life back in the PS2 era of games and, among the plethora of game mascots Sony created for this console generation, I was only able to meet Sly in his first foray into the video game world. As I grown older (and became acquainted with what Ratchet and Jax had to offer) I can say this was one of the best happenstances in my life. The Sly Cooper series (not including Thieves in Time as I haven’t played it) has personally become synonymous with what a great video game should be. Everything from character to level design is immaculately crafted to be its very best, and I have little to no complains about these games. I do hope Sly gets a chance to make a comeback much as like Rachet and Clank have over the years.

Other games like it

SpongeBob SquarePants Battle for Bikini Bottom Rehydrated: My favourite out of the platformer and collectathon games from the SpongeBob franchise is SpongeBob SquarePants The Movie video game, and I am not holding my breathe for it to be remaster, as it is probably a licencing hell which they probably don’t want to deal with. It is for this reason I recommend Battle for Bikini Bottom Rehydrated. Purple Lamp’s immaculate remake has crafted a compelling gameplay experience which exemplifies what this genre needs. If you are a fan of Sly Cooper, especially Thievius Raccoonous, I think you will enjoy SpongeBob BBR as well.

Catherine & Catherine Full Body

Why I like it

I was debating whether to include Persona 5 Royal or Catherine within this list, but I ultimately chose the latter. My nostalgia googles are right and burning for P-Studio’s 2011 puzzle game, and it has been ever since I laid my eyes on the gameplay. Back then, I enamoured with the simple, yet detailed, character animation, as Vincent and the gang felt as ever real every time I logged on to the Stray Sheep. Whilst the story is not groundbreaking, the gameplay is where Catherine, and its remaster, work their magic. To this day, I haven’t been able to find a game where the puzzle system has engrossed me to this degree. Its system is hard to master but incredibly rewarding, and my main reason for wanting a sequel to this underrated gem is basically because I want to move more blocks. Alongside its incredible atmosphere, I wholeheartedly recommend to any puzzle game afficionado this tale of love, magic and blocks.

Other games like it

Persona 5 Royal: There are no other games like Catherine. I could recommend puzzle games the likes of Portal, or a recent favourite like Carto, but there is no other I have played which can offer the experience found on Catherine. So, if you like the other elements which also make Catherine a great game, I recommend Persona 5 Royal. The atmosphere and character writing its P-Studio at its best (still haven’t played P3 Reload), and they were clearly able to take everything they learned in Catherine to create the king of vibes in video games. I personally enjoy the vanilla ending to P5 better than Royal, but I would be foul of me to omit the variety of improvements to the gameplay which makes it sincerely better than the original.

Citizen Sleeper

Why I like it

My history with gaming is mostly relegated to consoles, with some exceptions such as Team Fortress 2. CRPGs has been a genre which has eluded me, and this does, to this day, however, it came to me as a gracious surprise that in 2023, a year boosted by a cornucopia of excellent games, Citizen Sleeper was my favourite game of the year. I generally enjoy sci-fi settings more than fantasy and, within its theme, Citizen Sleeper is superb. I was immediately drawn into the story, on how you are a cyborg* quickly becoming obsolete thanks to your own sense of independence. Its world is extremely beautiful and harsh, and becoming independent in a collapse capitalistic society was an experience of extreme joy and tension. Parallel to this, the game boosts a beautiful soundtrack and marvellous art direction, which makes Citizen Sleeper an easy game to recommend.

*Cyborg is an oversimplification of the arrangement of human conscious and artificial body tale found in Citizen Sleeper.  

Other games like it

Tacoma: Tacoma is a beautiful first-person sci-fi narrative game in which you find yourself reliving what happened to the crew of an orbital station with its namesake. The highlight of the video game is its presentation, as it was able to make a believable abandoned space station that definitely felt lived-in, and both the usage of in-game augmented reality and sign language is supremely captivating. With extremely believable sci-fi, both Tacoma and Citizen Sleeper offer a glimpse into their dystopian societies whilst elevating their stories they are trying to tell. Fans of sci-fi will find something to like in either.

[ravenstargames]

✦ Lost in Limbo Devlog #5 | 08.31.23

August is OVER and that means a brand-new Lost in Devlog!!! 💜 We are very excited for September to begin because that will definitely mark a new era of Lost in Limbo's production as the whole team will be finally free of the shackles of the spanish education system!

This devlog contains mainly progress in the programming and writing department (yours truly in charge), but we have also made some progress in the art department.

In addition, we will use this devlog to discuss a few changes and decisions we have taken in regards to the course of the demo—so feel free to grab a drink and join us for the ride!

First and foremost...A glimpse of our main menu! 🎉💜 I have been working hard this month to implement the UI as we finally got the files, and I've also animated and programmed the main menu screen, the configuration screen, save/load, etc. The dialogue box and everything else is also implemented and working perfectly, and of course we have a custom cursor thanks to miss Raquel! 🎉

Needless to say, LiL is my first coding adventure, so I'm sure our code isn't perfect or in optimal condition, but hopefully our Kickstarter will allow us to hire a programmer to fix that. I think I've done a pretty good job considering my lack of experience!

Also, special thanks (again) to our dearly beloved @crescencestudio for bearing with me and graciously lending a hand when I struggled the most. They are officially my ren'py mentor and I'd like to take a moment to illustrate our my struggle to y'all with a simple screenshot:

(Also it's kind of funny we both have animal crossing pics in our discord accounts, that was ✨ a coincidence ✨)

<<Inside the holy judgement chamber of the Silver Spire, may your words carry only truth, lest punishment is what you seek.>>

This month our dear Raquel has been working on backgrounds when she's had a moment, and this is one of the pieces she has been rendering and polishing! We'll also take a look at another background (a really important one) to bring it up to our new standards. As I said in another devlog, the master degree we were (and still are, until the 15th) attending has changed our way of seeing and approaching art pieces, so we are looking into improving pieces that are still in the making!

First of all; we are super proud and happy to welcome a new member to the team of Ravenstar Games: Allie! They'll be our editor and proofreader, and I'm sure you know and love some projects she's been on, like Blooming Panic! or our recent and beloved Intertwine. They are a fantastic fantastic writer, an incredible person and a passionate dev that I've had the pleasure to know and work with for a while now, and I would trust no one else with the script of our baby! (and if you are a writer, you know how hard it is to let others read your stuff sometimes. It's like baring your soul to them; it could only be Allie for me!) So please give them a big warm welcome!!

For the writing department, some devlogs ago we talked about the script suffering some changes—well, they have officially solidified now!

We have cut some content that was not exactly relevant for the first experience we want y'all to have with the game. A lot of context and exposition that helps, but is not absolutely necessary to enjoy what is perhaps the most important thing for an indie team and their game; the first demo and the impression it leaves behind. That content has not been scraped and we have decided to save it for an extended demo; the first demo will still be as long as it was in the beginning, as a lot of new content has also been added to prioritize the LIs, which is what you are here for.

We also made this decision because we were once more faced with the reality of: there's only four of us and it's not realistic to do seven LIs + six supporting characters + their expression charts + 13 backgrounds + everything else for a first demo. We are learning as we go, for better or worse, and sometimes you have to sit back and say "right. this is not going to work" so we had to do that. Sadly, we were not realistic with what we wanted to do, but hey, we all get too excited and dream too big sometimes!

This changes will ensure you get the best first experience with LiL without losing important, meaningful content, and hopefully be excited for what will come later. In my humble opinion, the demo script is now in much better shape than it was a month ago. Trust. And just wait for Allie to edit it—that's going to bring it to perfection.

Oh! We'll also be modifying the Masterpost soon as some things are a bit outdated and can be improved, so expect to see some new stuff in there!

It's 1 am here right now as I write this. I'm in bed. Today has been a day. Tomorrow I'll take a look at this and correct a million typos. See? Another reason we need Allie with us. There's screenshots to take, videos to make, and everything is slowly coming together. We are in really good spirits, motivated and hopeful for the near future. This has been long enough as it is, so as always, thank you for being part of Lost in Limbo's journey, and for the love and kindness you give us again and again. We hope you all are doing great, staying hydrated, and taking care of yourself 💜 See you very very soon!!

[wife-of-all-dilfs]

also question about writing bc right now a bitch (it’s me, hi !!!) is struggling. how do u decide on plots & how do u structure them? bc i have two separate fic ideas & i do plan on writing both of them but not only am i struggling to decide which i wanna do first bc i really like them both but i also don’t know how to structure either of them.

i’m also procrastinating like a motherfucker so yk that’s super fun <333

i didn't see this in my inbox. i'm so sorry, forgive me, por favor 🙏

HI!! honestly, i really struggle with creating plots, it often takes me a long time to piece something together which factors into my excruciatingly long writing process.

i typically get inspiration from movies, tv shows, and books, and i give them my own original twist. i self-indulge a lot with my writing, meaning i write what i would enjoy in a relationship or i channel my emotions into what I'm writing (sadness, happiness, hornyness, what).

my advice (and i do realise i'm a little late to be giving advice) would be to write the fic that you resonate more with, the one you have a clearer picture in your head of, the one you are more emotionally connected with and know you will enjoy writing all the way through to the end.

structure-wise, i just dot-point vague descriptions of how I want the story to pace—different characters actions, internal dialogue, verbal dialogue, setting description, etc. it is very basic and messy, but it's just a guideline to keep your writing juices flowing.

e.g.:

character a walks over to character b

character b looks character a up and down, causing them to blush

[write description of character a's feelings for character b]

character b flirts with character a

"dialogue, flirting"

they get interupted

it's a shitty example but it explains what I'm trying to get across.

also, make sure your pacing isn't too fast or slow; writing a story is like sailing down a river—at some points, the water is going to flow more slowly, giving you time to savour your surroundings and create a visceral image in your mind's eye.

at other points, the water will turn to rapids, and only the most basic descriptions are necessary to the plot. deciding on which pace to use is mostly done on instinct and practice.

if you still can't decide which fic to write first, you can always try writing both at the same time. you aren't bound by any rules. write in a way you enjoy, even if it seems unorthodox to others! <333

idk if this made any sense, but I do hope it was at least a little bit helpful lmaoo

[drinkyourvillainjuice]

hello im leaving a bug report via anon because i dont have the spoons to join a discord or w/e for it

Drink Your Villain Juice is one of the best pieces of fiction I've enjoyed in a while. from a game design aspect the amount of reactivity it has to your choices is astonishing. however much it actually does behind the curtain, it feels like the game is listening to everything I say and do. As someone who lives a life of constant pain due to illness being put in this sad painful experience was weirdly resonant and cathartic. despites struggling to read because of aforementioned illness nowadays i was able to pay attention to it for hours.

so I was very crushed when I bricked my playthrough by saving after I turned on tone indicators. i was unsure if a dialogue option i was about to pick was flirting or not so I went into the menu and turned it on. when i went back to the dialogue no tone indicators had appeared, maybe it wasn't flirting and thats why.

either way to be safe I saved the game and reloaded my browser. When I did it put me on the screen of Tone Indicators now enabled! If I click next, it puts me in the stats screen. If I click show stats, it puts me in the stats screen. There is no way to get out of the stats screen and my playthrough is lost.

I want to be clear that this is not a hate post or anything. I deeply love your art and because of that it will be difficult to pick it up again. I was deeply invested in the ongoing story of Max Lake, my character. It'll be hard to start a new playthrough. It might take me months to work up to it again. But I loved that playthrough so much that it motivated my lazy ass to write this so that hopefully this can be fixed and this amazing piece of art can be made a little better.

Hi! Sorry it took a while to respond, and sorry that this issue got to you! You were clearly really enjoying the game!

I don't like to blame the platform, but saving on stats screens causing trouble with the file is a dashingdon bug rather than an in-game bug, so far as I know.

I'll keep an eye out for if this recurs!