#I really do need to get into writing them
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teaboot · 3 days ago
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do you think i'll ever get to a place in my life where i'm actually a good person and i don't keep getting bombarded with people telling me all the ways i'm doing things wrong. will i ever stop feeling like i'm faking being good and i'm actually a despicable person deep down inside like there's something rotten and irremovable in the very core of me. i feel sick
As a recovering self-hater I have a few things that have been helping
Truly shitty people are typically, in my experience, not chronically preoccupied with anxieties that they need to be better. It seems to be the 100% rock-solid certainty that everything you ever do is selfless that you need to watch out for.
Motive only matters in court. If you donate 30 hours a week to charity so you can tell yourself you're a good person or you donate that same time because you genuinely enjoy helping people, that's still 30 hours, imo. At that point the argument is more philosophical than anything. The help is still happening.
Nobody can read your mind. You can be the bitterest, cattiest, most judgemental and mean-spirited motherfucker alive, but as long as you don't let your feelings hurt others, you're golden. In fact, I personally think you should get extra credit for effort. Swimming upriver ain't easy
None of us are selfless by nature. That's okay. We all crave attention, and validation, and comfort, and reward. That self-interest is a survival skill. It's not going anywhere and I don't think it should. The key is moderation, self control, and consideration for others.
The loudest voice in your head probably isn't yours. Survivors of all kinds of abuse- and all abuse is psychological to varying extremes- often keep their critic's narrative in their head. That voice that says you're awful- is that something you'd say to someone else? No? Then try to figure out who said it to you. They were probably an asshole. The voice that answers it it probably your own. Listen to that one
No, you will not feel like this forever. It's a pain in the ass, but dedicating time and thought into ignoring that inner critic and elevating your positive impulses is effective.
Some things I've done myself that seem to help:
Do some research on cognitive behavioral therapy and cognitive reprogramming. These are easier to exercise with a therapist but once you figure out the steps to follow you can do them on your own, too.
When you do something good, write it down for yourself. Keep a dated journal, either on paper or in your phone. When you find yourself in a pit of self-loathing, you can go back and remind yourself of all the good you've done. If this is hard, try listing 3 good things you did at the end of each day. Anything from picking up a scrap of litter to running a food drive.
Long post, but really, the best thing I can say is this:
Aything that takes effort is worth celebrating, even if that effort is minimal or that task is considered small.
At the end of the day, "bare minimum" isn't working a full-time job and eating three meals a day, cleaning up after yourself and doing it with a smile- bare minimum is nothing. Bare minimum is laying on the floor motionless for 24 hours and filter-feeding like a sea sponge. And if even that's difficult for you, then it's not your bare minimum, is it?
There's a lot of cruel, inconsiderate, uncaring people in the world, only out for themselves at the expense of others, and even if you think you're one of them, giving a shit about doing better still puts you a mile ahead of most.
Try not to worry too terribly. If you're thinking about it, you're probably doing fine👍
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clockwayswrites · 1 day ago
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Distracting Birb! Part 28
*throws this and runs* Masterpost
“So what did you find out?” Tim asked as he spun around. He was at the computer, of course, and looked most of the way to villainy backlit by the large screens.
(Dick loved his little brother, but villainy really wouldn’t be the most surprising outcome for Tim.)
“What makes you think we found anything?” Jason answered, just to be impertinent.
Tim rolled his eyes. “You wouldn’t have called us all down to the Cave if you didn’t have anything.”
Jason scoffed. “You underestimate how willing I am to waste your time.”
“Boys,” Cass said calmly, ending the growing argument with just that word.
“Duke still out on patrol?” Dick asked as a distraction.
Tim glanced over his shoulder and back at the screen. “On his way back. He’ll be here in fifteenish.”
Best not to wait in case Danny woke, Dick decided. They’d be sure to fill him in. “Okay. Well, Danny was not lying, he has a lot of plants.”
“Dick managed to turn on the watering system. We’re all very proud of him,” Jason said flatly.
The siblings all golf clapped, which Dick took a dramatic bow to. “Thank you, thank you. Otherwise a pretty normal apartment. Comfortable, a little nerdy, and not fussy.”
Jason nodded. “There’s a hero—not sure if someone real or fictional—that we saw a few times. Someone called Phantom.”
Obliging, Dick sent the photo of the mug from the bathroom up onto one of the screens. Tim spun back to the computer and started searching.
“There were also a lot of medication in his cabinet; vitamins and several prescriptions also. Some of them had weird labels.”
“Damn, Dick, you couldn’t have gotten a clearer photo?” Tim asked as he squinted at the new set of images.
“As much as I hate to defend Dick,” Jason said as he added photos of his own to the screen, ‘that is a clear photo. Danny was writing in the same language along with English in a bedside notebook of his.”
“Are you in need of glasses, Drake?” Damian asked as he looked from the photos to Tim with a judgmental brow raised.
Tim flicked him off, which Dick considered telling Tim off for (Damian had enough bad habits), but was actually curious about this. “No. The text looks glitched out.’
“No,” Damian said slowly and with a scowl, “it is clear. Odd, but clear.”
“Cass?” Dick asked.
She moved a step closer to the television, head tilted. There was a long, quiet moment before she lifted her hand a gave a so-so motion.
Tim looked from her, to Damian, to the screens. “…Dick?”
“So that’s the thing, it looks wrong to me too. If I look at it too long it’s like it gives me a headache. Jason can read it though.”
Jason snorted. “That’s taking it a bit far. I feel like I should be able to read it. I can get a word here or there maybe.”
“Like it whispers,” Damian said, the quiet words oddly poetic for the youngest of them.
“…yeah, like it whispers,” Jason agreed, just as softly.
“Right, okay. Freaky language that only some of us can even see, much less read, and those who can have spent a lot of time in or around the league,” Tim said. “How concerned do we need to be able this? To we need to be concerned about this? I feel like we need to be concerned about this.”
None of them had an easy answer for Tim.
All of them were grateful for the roar of Duke’s bike interrupting the conversation as he pulled into the cave.
“What are you all looking some grim about?” Duke asked. He yanked his helmet off and took a deep breath, like he hadn’t been able to breath in hours.
It was a feeling they all got. Even a good patrol was draining and Duke had been actively on follow up over what had gone down today with the Mad Hatter. Dick tossed a towel Duke’s way and went to grab a drink for the other from the food safe fridge.
“Stuff from Danny’s place. Take a look at the screen,” Jason said.
“Danny? I thought that we liked the guy,” Duke said, accepting the drink with a grateful thank you. He drained half of it his the way to the screens. “Shit, that’s a lot of meds.”
“Take a closer look,” Jason said, though not unkindly.
Duke stepped closer to the screen.
And went alarmingly still.
Dick resisted the instinctual urge to reach out and grab him. “Duke?”
Duke gave an answering hum and turned his head, just slightly, towards Dick. His eyes never left the screen. Dick wasn’t sure if Duke had really heard him. It was Jason who ended up acting, ended up listening to that instinct. He stepped between Duke and the screen, blocking their newest brother’s view. Duke sucked in a sharp, startled breath.
“What?”
“Hey, come on, have a seat,” Jason said and guided Duke backwards into one of the chairs at the table.
Tim swiftly cleared the photos from the screen.
Duke shook his head. “Sorry, man, I don’t know what… that, huh. What did those look like to you all?”
“Magenta tinted pill bottles with different levels of medication in them,” Tim replied calmly. “Dick and I can’t read what’s printed on them. Damian, Jason, and maybe Cass can a little which means it might be League writing of some sort.”
Dick leaned against the table. “What did you see, Duke?”
“Magenta tinted pill bottles with something in them. Like whatever it was my powers were weird about it. I’d have to see them in person to know anything about why, I guess, but they were… I don’t know. But whatever that stuff was I don’t think it’s League because I don’t think it’s human. I don’t think it’s earthly.”
“Well, fuck,” Dick said with a sigh.
He wasn’t sure if that was better or worse.
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vickymura · 1 day ago
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PAIRING ~ bf!nrk x gf!reader
SUMMARY ~ you and your boyfriend decide to visit the sauna as a break from the winter, but something about you sweating makes him feel all hot for reasons other than the sauna.
GENRE ~ smut, sauna sex.
WORD COUNT ~ 2.270k
ᯓ★ can you tell i was listening to diet pepsi while writing this?
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it was a short elevator ride and a few flights of stairs before the two of you reached the floor of the building where the new sauna was located. riki led you down the hallway and pushed open the door to the room, a warm and humid feeling instantly enveloping you both.
you cringed at the feeling of the humidity clinging against your fuzzy sweater and immediately pulled off the garment. now clad in just a black spaghetti strap tank and sweatpants, you neatly placed your sweater into a locker located near the room.
you cringed at the feeling of the humidity clinging against your fuzzy sweater and immediately pulled off the garment. now clad in just a black spaghetti strap tank and sweatpants, you neatly placed your sweater into a locker located near the room.
riki chuckled at your expression, his eyes scanning your body in that small tank top. he took off his own hoodie in response, leaving only a black undershirt on and stuffing the hoodie into the same locker. he reached out to take your hand, lacing his fingers with yours and leading you over to the corner of the empty sauna.
he laid a towel on the floor and sat down on it, tugging on your hand and gesturing for you to sit down in between his legs. the damp air and heat in the room paired with riki’s warmth against your back was a nice break from the snow outside.
“as much as i love winter, i really needed this.” you commented and sighed happily, tying your hair up into a ponytail. 
he hummed back in agreement, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you even closer against him. he rested his chin on your shoulder, savoring the way you felt against him and the damp warmth of your skin against his bare forearms. "it feels good," he mumbled, his deep voice right against your ear.
you sighed again, closing your eyes in relaxation. the muscles in your body involuntarily relaxed due to the effects of your sauna, causing you to slouch against riki’s front, the back of your head falling on his shoulder.
that’s when he saw it. a bead of sweat falling from your forehead, travelling down the side of your face, over your jawline, down the curve of your neck, and eventually disappearing into your cleavage concealed by just a thin top. fuck. 
he swallowed thickly making his adam's apple bob. the sight was almost mesmerizing. unable to resist, his lips gently brushed against your ear before he leaned down and ran his tongue over the curve of your neck, the salty taste of your sweat making him shiver slightly. 
you gasped at the feeling of his warm, wet tongue right against your neck, your eyes snapping open wide. your legs instinctively tensing up, the insides of your tummy feeling all funny. “riki, what’re you-”
he chuckled lowly as your body squirmed against his at the feel of his tongue on your neck. he gently moved his hand up to grasp your chin, holding your head in place as he continued his path of wet kisses on your neck. "shh," he mumbled against your skin, his voice deep and rough before he gently nibbled on your earlobe.
“stop, someone can come in here..” you warned before things could escalate any further, afraid of causing any public indecency in case someone just walks in.
he let out a low huff against your ear, feeling a bit playful. your small protest against his actions only tempted him to do more, his lips continuing their trail down your neck, moving towards your shoulder. "let them see," he muttered quietly, shifting in his seat so he was pressed even tighter up against you, his growing bulge rubbing against your ass.
you let out a shaky exhale, unknowingly pressing your thighs together as a result of getting turned on by your replies and ministrations. though you squirmed in place in an attempt to get away and warned him to stop, you couldn’t help but further tilt your head as a subconscious need for his touch. “behave, riki..” you scolded, but only egged him on further.
he chuckled slightly at your attempt to scold him, the way you were starting to lose yourself in his touch not going unnoticed by him. your weak scolding fell on deaf ears as he licked his lips and nipped at the skin of your shoulder. his free hand was rubbing slow circles into your hip, the action both soothing and teasing at the same time.
he slowly pulled back, taking in your messy appearance with the marks he had left. he gently turned your head to face him, his smirk growing at the sight of your flushed face and slightly glazed over eyes.
“riki, don't... we can't...” you whispered breathlessly, though a certain look formed in your eyes which he’d learned to recognize as arousal by then.
he hummed in response, his hand that was on your chin cupping your cheek instead. your face was a sight to behold, already messy and flushed from his actions, your expression making it very clear that you wanted this just as much as him. he loved seeing you like this, losing yourself to his touch. "why not?" he questioned your prolonged protests with a hint of mockery in his voice, his thumb tracing your cheekbone affectionately.
your eyes widened in disbelief, as if the answer wasn’t obvious already. you remained silent for a few seconds, simply taking in the way there was a bead of sweat trailing down the side of his face, his lips naturally plump and wet, long bangs sticking against his forehead, cheeks subtly flushed, and most importantly, the look in his eyes. god, his eyes. his dark intense orbs gazed into yours, almost daring you to defy his advances. but, you continued, a bit more dazed than before. “someone can just walk in...”
he chuckled again, his hand on your hip tightening slightly as he spoke in a low tone. "so? let them walk in." he leaned in, his lips gently scraping up the skin of your neck to your ear, his voice rough and deep as he continued "i want you, baby."
that's when your resolve crumbled completely. you let out a shaky exhale, hands flunging to cup his face and shove it closer to yours, pressing your lips against his in a needy, urgent kiss.
he groaned against your lips, feeling your soft palms cup his cheeks to pull his face closer to yours. he returned the kiss just as hungrily, one hand moving back to your hip and the other reaching back to tangle in your hair, the wet feeling of your mouths and tongues moving together in need turning him on like crazy.
he gently guided you to lay flat on your back on the towel covered floor, locating his knees on either side of your hips so that he was now hovering over you, the kiss not broken for even a second. he placed one hand at the side of your head, the other teasingly tracing up your body from your hips all the way to your chest, where he began groping your plush tits.
you whimpered into his mouth, your thighs bucking shut as you let go of his face to dig your fingers into his hair. he growled back in response, letting go of your tits to yank your thighs apart, situating himself between them. he resumed fondling your tits from over your skimpy top, now rocking his clothed hardness into you. 
as sticky as your skin felt from the dampness of your skin, there was a similar slick forming between your legs. you moaned into his mouth and arched your back into his touch, your earlier concerns now abandoned into a more urgent sense of need.
he was getting impatient, the friction of his throbbing, clothed cock rubbing up against your clothed heat making him want you even more. he broke the kiss to pull back slightly and began leaving a trail of quick, wet kisses down your neck to your chest, his hand squeezing your tit while he spoke gruffly between kisses. "baby... i want to be in you," he groaned against your neck, his voice making it clear that his mind was starting to go a little hazy from the hot room and your body.
you let out a soft exhale borderlining a moan as you threw your head back, your chest heaving so prettily. you whispered a barely audible “....okay.”, giving riki the green light to frantically let go of your chest to reach the waistband of your sweatpants.
he snuck his hand into your pants, cupping your pussy from over your panties. a gruff growl was elicited from his throat fanning right against your neck as his calloused fingers felt up the now drenched fabric. you whimpered and pressed your thighs together, essentially trapping riki’s hand between your legs. he pulled your panties to the side, rubbing his middle finger through your slick folds, earning a sinful mewl from your glossed lips. 
“fuck.” riki cursed under his breath, the feeling of your wetness and pretty sounds making his erection unbearably painful. he snuck his hand out of your pants and reached for his own. he sat up straight on his knees, straddling your hips. there was an almost hysteric darkness of lust in his eyes as he pulled his pants and boxers down in one motion, just enough to make his cock spring out and the layers to bunch up by his thighs. there were prominent veins popping out his shaft, his tip an angry red and a small bead of precum formed. he pumped his cock for a few seconds with his left hand, the other yanking down your sweats and panties from the front, just enough to expose your dripping entrance.
he shifted forward before you could even have a chance to process what was happening, and began rubbing his tip against your folds, throwing his head back and groaning in pleasure. you whimpered and clenched around nothing in sheer need to be filled, hands gripping onto his shoulders. 
he aligned himself to your pussy and let go of his cock to slowly slide into you, your greedy folds nearly sucking him in. he let out a low sound between a groan and a moan, placing both hands by your head to steady himself as you took him in. “riki..” you mewled his name causing him to bring one of his hands to cover your mouth.
“shh.. don’t wanna draw an attention, fuck- do you now, baby?” he curtly whispered, slowly beginning to fuck you in steady motions. you whimpered against the large palm of his hand and shook your head, your eyes feeling dizzy as you limited your loud sounds of pleasure to quiet ones. he buried his face into the crook of your neck to muffle his own sounds, whispering against it, “god, you’re so perfect, baby..” 
he thrusted his hardness deep into you, nearly going feral over the feeling of your velvety walls around him. you held onto the wrist of his hand over your mouth with one hand, the other holding onto his neck, your eyes growing half lidded as he fucked you.
there was still a small worry in your mind that despite not being nude, anyone could just walk in and catch you in an inappropriate act, but it only seemed to thrill you even more. your face and body began growing heated and sticky from sweat for more reasons than being in a sauna as you clenched around his length.
he hissed into your neck, thrusting faster and deeper into you. lewd, squelching sounds paired with skin against skin echoed in the room, his stimulation causing a coil to appear in your stomach. you whined and moaned quietly against his hand, your knees jerking up ever so often in pleasure.
“keep it down.” he reminded in a low, raggedy voice, earning your shaky response of, “riki, ngh- i can’t..” he growled, his thrusts increasing in pace as his high grew closer as he shoved the side of his hand into your mouth, making you bite down on it. your sounds grew considerably muffled and quiet, your teeth imprinting onto the palm and back of his hand.
“tell me you’re close..” he grunted, his thrusts growing irregular and sloppy as a result of his dangerously close orgasm. you could only clench around him and frantically nod your head in response, earning a groan of pleasure from him. he lifted his head from the crook of your neck and kept eye contact. he sharply exhaled and grunted, “you’re so good for me, baby.. i’m gonna..” and with a quiet curse, he slammed his cock deep into your pussy, feeling you with his warm seed. the feeling of his warm release filing you tipped you over your edge, and you simultaneously creamed around the end of his length, nearly trembling from pleasure.
he panted and and remained inside you for a few seconds, his eyes never leaving yours. he slowly pulled himself out, making you sigh both in pleasure and disappointment at the loss of his length. “fuuuck...” he groaned, taking in the sight of your cum mixed with his dripping down your tinged folds. 
he let go of your mouth, taking a hold of his cock and gently pushed the mixture of releases back into your hole, shakily exhaling at the overstimulating sensations on his tip. he slowly pulled your panties and pants back up, clothing himself to a state of decency too before leaning over to cup your face and capture your lips in a tender kiss. let’s just say there were a lot of things that remained sticky that evening. (this is my first time writing smut, pls don't judge lol. comment and reblog if you love riki 🙈)
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trammellesstangent · 3 days ago
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For the other main character in the comic (named Pitch):
1. No. They don’t really sleep, but wouldn’t have any toy or object even if they did.
2. Theoretically they could, but they see no reason to. They do not want a pet or a child.
3. This character is also ace. (Honestly I didn’t feel like writing romance and the idea of being in a relationship seemed out of character for both of them anyway)
4. Red makes them stand out, but not in a good way.
5. Also no. Actually the other character is more likely to give a speech than them. They’d probably at least consider shooting someone to get out of it.
6. They will usually at least think about what their friend (again, neither of them would admit that they’re friends) suggests. They do not take advice from almost anyone else.
7. They are a sarcastic blunt asshole. They’d say the same.
8. Both? They like puzzles and using logic to figure things out, but they also usually dislike problems they can’t just fight their way out of.
9. Kind of. Not that they think these objects have feelings, but they know what it’s like to be treated as an object so it brings up uncomfortable memories and emotions for them.
10. They don’t age in a normal way, so the question doesn’t really apply.
11. I don’t know. I’d need to think about that a bit more and it’s currently eleven past midnight.
12. They like tv dramas, but are disgusted by sex and the more physical, biological side of relationships.
13. They don’t have parents.
14. Sort of. They watch soapy tv dramas, which they’re not ashamed of, but they don’t exactly broadcast it either because people generally see them as intimidating and they want to stay that way.
15. Pretending to be something you aren’t. Apologising for your nature. Being nice purely to make others more comfortable.
16. High quality, plain looking clothes that are tailored specifically to them and probably have some kind of high tech built in armour or something.
17. They have mixed feelings towards children, but they don’t interact with kids often anyway.
18. They would be horrified if you asked them this.
19. No
20. I don’t know ask me later
21. N/A
22. They hate pet names, but kind of use insults in the same way. If you called them a pet name they’d probably be irrationally angry but recognise it as an attempt to get under their skin so they wouldn’t react.
23. Stability in theory, novelty in practice.
24. Honesty.
25. They’re unsure
26. They’re also unsure
27. Vengeance
28. N/A
29. As I said they don’t really sleep, so they don’t dream. N/A
30. Absolutely anything to make sure the people they care about are not put in harm’s way.
oc asks that reveal more than you think
Do they sleep with a stuffed animal? If they have multiple, who’s the favorite?
Can they take care of a plant? What about a pet? What about a child?
Ask them to describe their love interest.
Do they look good in red?
Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Will they give one, and what about?
Who will they take advice from, no matter what it is? Who won’t they take advice from, no matter what it is?
Describe them in three words. Now let them describe themself in three words.
Do complex puzzles intrigue or frustrate them?
Do they empathize with non-sentient things (dolls, plants, books…)?
What age do they most want to be right now?
They’ve won the lottery. Spend, or save?
Do they like romance in the books they read (or in the book they’re in)?
Name one thing their parents taught them.
Would they agree with the term ‘guilty pleasure’? Do they have any?
What would they consider a waste of time– other than school or work?
If money wasn’t a limit, what would they wear?
Do they like children?
Kissing: tongue or no tongue?
Do they study before tests? Practice before job interviews?
What do they like that nobody else does?
What would it take for them to break up with someone? What would be the last straw?
Do they like being called pet names? Do they call other people pet names? What’s their go-to?
Stability or novelty?
Honesty or charity?
Safety or possibility?
Talent or effort?
Forgiveness or vengeance (or…)?
Would they date a fixer-upper?
What recurring dreams do they have?
What would they do if they knew it would be forgiven?
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wafflefries13 · 2 days ago
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Asking Out the Twisted Wonderland Cast (Multi TWST cast X Reader)
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Summary: Sometimes, you can't just wait for good things to happen to you. Time to screw your courage to the sticking place and finally ask out that boy you like!
AN: I meant for these each to be like 200 word drabbles. Some of them kind of got away from me, lol.
Cross-posted on my AO3 TheGhostInTheKitchen
Warnings: Fluff, AFAB reader with she/her pronouns.
Part 2: First Dates
The sounds of the NRC cafeteria clattered around the group of first years. Utensils scraping on plates, sizzling from the open window to the kitchen, a hundred different conversations from all sides. Their small group sat clustered around their table, nestled close together to be heard over the general din. 
“I’m just saying,” Ace said, mouth half full. 
“You’re always ‘just saying’,” Deuce said. 
Ace shoved him. “I’m just saying, if you want to try out for the anchor position on the track team you have to actually ask for it. Get Coach Vargas and don’t stop bugging him until he sees what you can do! No one’s going to just wait for it to happen.” 
“And I’m saying it doesn't do any good to be a nuisance when I don’t even know if I’m good enough yet. I might as well wait till tryouts next semester.” 
“No, no, he’s right,” (Y/N) said, distantly. 
“Yeah!” Ace said. “Wait, right about what?” 
“You can’t just wait for stuff to happen to you. If you really want something you have to go and take it for yourself.” She stood abruptly, face determined. “I need to ask something.” 
Ace:
“Ace!” 
Ace jumped, brushing off crumbs from his jacket. “What? What did I do now?” 
“Do you want to go out with me?” 
Epel choked, Jack thumping him on the back. Deuce looked like she had just insulted his mother. Sebek rolled his eyes as he took another bite. Ortho gasped, leaning forward, eyes wide and excited. 
“I-What?” Ace stuttered, his face rapidly turning red. “Where the heck did that come from?” 
“You were just saying you shouldn’t wait for something you want. I like you, I have for a while now. So, do you want to go out?” 
Ace stuttered out a reply, slapping on his normal cocky smile but decidedly not meeting (Y/N)’s eyes. “I mean, yeah, of course you fell for me! It’s about time you said something. But, um, yeah, I’d like that. A lot.” 
“Well,” Deuce said, rolling his eyes. “It’s about time one of you said something.” 
“Hey!” Ace shouted. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 
(Y/N) playfully shoved him. “Oh, please, don’t act like I haven’t noticed that you like me too. You’re not subtle about it.” 
“What made you think that?” 
“Ace, within the first week of me being here you asked to sleep in the same bed as me twice.” 
From another table, definitely not eavesdropping, Riddle fainted. 
Deuce:
“Deuce!” Deuce jumped at (Y/N) suddenly shouting his name. “I need your help with something. Can you come with me for a second?” 
“Oh, yeah, sure, of course.” Deuce ignored Ace’s pointed look. Deuce followed (Y/N) out of the cafeteria down the halls. “Where are we going?” 
(Y/N) suddenly turned around, Deuce almost colliding with her. Before he could apologize, she took his hands, looking up into his eyes as he felt blood rush to his cheeks. 
“I just wanted somewhere more private,” She said. “Deuce, I really like you. Will you go out with me?” 
“I-huh?! I mean, yeah, yes! I like you, too!” He rubbed the back of his head and looked away shyly. “Man, I wanted to ask you out first.” 
(Y/N) grinned. “Really? How were you going to do it?” 
“Well, my mom said that when my dad first asked her out he got her this big bouquet of flowers. But he ended up being allergic to them so he kept sneezing the whole time. She took him to the infirmary at their school and he had to write it down since his face was too swollen to talk.” 
“Well, I wouldn’t say no to flowers. Maybe we can skip the rest of that, though.” 
Deuce marched over to the cut out window of the hallway, opening out onto the quad. Reaching over, he plucked a fluffy pink peony from one of the bushes. He came back to (Y/N), suddenly very flustered, and held it out to her. 
“(Y/N),” He began. 
She clasped her hands together. “Yes?” 
“Would you do me the honor of - Ah!” Deuce yelped as a bee flew out of the peony blossom, shooting for Deuce’s face to sting him. 
Turns out, they did spend time in the infirmary. But, after (Y/N) kissed his cheek and gently held the flower, Deuce didn’t seem to mind too much. 
Trey: 
“Ow!” 
Trey paused outside the Heartslabyul kitchen as he heard the exclamation from inside. He was planning on testing out a new bread recipe his parents had sent him and wasn’t expecting anyone else to be using the kitchen that day. He peaked in, seeing (Y/N), Grim, Ace, and Deuce crowded around the island in the middle. (Y/N) was blowing on a burn on her hand, Grim rifling through the pantry for various sweets, and Ace and Deuce waving away smoke from a burnt pastry freshly pulled from the oven. 
“I told you!” (Y/N) said. “You can’t just raise the temperature for it to cook faster, it’ll just burn!” 
“Well, sorry for trying to make your confession go faster before you chicken out,” Ace said. 
“I’m not going to chicken out! Probably. Maybe. What if the pie burning is an omen?” 
“I wouldn’t read too deeply into it,” Trey said, entering the kitchen. The first years jumped, (Y/N)’s eyes going wide and she stared at the floor. 
“Well!” Deuce said, grabbing Ace and Grim and hurrying them out the door. “Omen or not, that’s our cue to leave. Good luck, (Y/N)!” 
Silence echoed around the two of them as the door of the kitchen thunked closed. (Y/N) fiddled with her fingers, still not looking up. Trey walked around the island, looking at the smoldering pie. There was a mostly neat lattice across the bubbling fruit, with extra crust cut into letters around the rim. 
“‘Trey,’” He read. “‘Will you-’”
“Ah! No, wait!” (Y/N) jumped forward, covering it with her hands. She jumped back as her palm accidentally hit the hot pie tin, giving her another burn. 
“Oh, wait, hang on.” Trey quickly went over to the sink, grabbing a clean towel and soaking it in cold water. He gently took her hand, pressing it to the burn. (Y/N) chewed her lip. “You know, I’d be happy to help if you want to try again. I’ve been wanting to try this new butter pie crust that’s good with custards and-”
“I really like you!” (Y/N) blurted out, face going as hot as the burn on her hand. “Would you want to go out with me? Please?” 
Trey tightened his grip on her hand, careful to avoid the injury. He smiled, laughing. “I was wondering if I should say it first. I guess you beat me to it. Yes, (Y/N), I’d love to go out with you.”  
Cater: 
Cater was relaxing in the Heartslabyul gardens, a can of red paint discarded beside him. He hummed something the pop music club had been working on as he scrolled through Magicam. He took a quick selfie, winking, tongue out with a peace sign, before refreshing his feed. 
He paused when he saw (Y/N) come across his dash. She was smiling brightly, one arm arched above her head and the other held down at an angle to create half a heart. The word ‘Will’ was written in bubbly cartoon letters in the middle. A few posts later, there was a second photo, an almost perfect mirror of the first to complete the heart. The word ‘You’ was written in the middle of this one. 
Cater almost felt like he was solving a puzzle as he searched the rest of his feed for more posts. Each had (Y/N) in a dramatic pose, adding another word to complete the sentence, ‘Go,’ ‘Out,’ ‘With’, ‘Me.’ When he realized it was a request to ask someone out, he couldn’t help but feel a little deflated. He shook his head. Of course (Y/N) would be crushing on someone. With all the adventures she had gone on during their time at NRC, it would make sense to develop strong feelings. He tried to quiet the voice in his head that hoped those strong feelings would go his way. Well, whatever, that just meant he had to keep a close eye on whoever had earned her affections, maybe give them a good threatening to treat her right while he was at it. 
Cater tapped on her name, taking him to her Magicam profile. It felt like just the other day when he was helping her set it up. He sighed at the happy memory. For a second, it occurred to him that the message (Y/N) had been spelling out in pictures didn’t end with a question mark. He thought it was weird. Was it a mistake? Then his eye caught on the latest picture, posted just a second before. 
It was a selfie of (Y/N) holding a large bouquet of yellow and orange flowers, marigolds, daisies, and buttercups. The majority of the frame was over her shoulder, showing Cater himself sitting against the hedges. His name was drawn in the same cartoon font with a question mark, surrounded by a heart.  
Cater snapped up, whirling around. He quickly whipped away the happy tears budding at the corner of his eyes as he saw (Y/N) waiting for him. The flowers were crushed between them as he scooped her up in a tight hug, both of them laughing. 
(They both carefully rearranged the flowers after to be presentable for the mandatory #TogetherForever couple photoshoot after.) 
Riddle: 
Riddle frowned at the commotion building from the Heartslabyul common room. He could make out the familiar rising sounds of Ace and Deuce’s voices. He began marching to the source of the racket, faltering a little when he heard (Y/N)’s voice joining in. Mentally scolding himself from eavesdropping  (it wasn’t eavesdropping, he was keeping tabs on his dorm mates, that’s it) he hovered near the cracked open door. 
“No, wait!” (Y/N) said. “We can’t use coral roses! I said pink!” 
Ace huffed. “What’s the difference?” 
(Y/N) tapped a small dark red book she was holding. “Coral roses symbolize desire, pink roses mean admiration and happiness. I’m not trying to scare him off before I can even ask him out!” 
Before he could even think about it, Riddle threw open the door, shouting, “Just what is going on here?” 
Everyone inside jumped. Riddle swept his eyes across the room, taking in the bundles and bundles of roses in multiple colors carefully poised on every surface. Ace and Deuce were meticulously balancing a bouquet in the chandelier, plucking out the offending coral colored roses. Cater was smirking in the corner, phone poised to capture everything. Trey chuckled behind his own large bouquet of yellow roses.. 
“Um,” She said, startled by his interruption. Taking a deep breath, she set the book down and picked up a bouquet of lavender roses, shoving them in Riddle’s direction. 
‘Lavender,’ He thought. ‘Love at first sight.’ 
“Riddle!” She said, probably a little too loudly. “I really like you! Would you go out with me?” 
The silence that followed was deafening. Cater tried to break the tension with a laugh. “Aww, (Y/N),” He said. “What happened to that whole speech you had?” 
“He surprised me!” She said. “Oh, wait, hang on, I still have it.” Without thinking, she shoved the bouquet in Riddle’s arms, searching her pockets to pull out a neatly folded piece of notebook paper. “Ahem. Riddle, I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past few months have been a torment. I came to Heartslabuyl with the single objective to see you. I-” 
“Everyone out!” Riddle shouted. As the group scuttled to the door, he pointed at (Y/N). “Not you.” 
The door thudded behind them, Ace and Deuce giving a quick thumbs up and what was supposed to be a confident smile as they left. (Y/N) crinkled the paper in her hands. 
“It gets better,” She said meekly. “The speech. Although I guess in the movie it ends with a rejection too. I should have used the one from the end, or Shakespeare maybe. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more - well, I guess you're not very temperate. Wait, let me try again.” 
“(Y/N),” He said. He held the lavender flowers tightly. “You know what this means?” 
“Oh, the flowers? Yeah, I, um, I’ve been studying.” She picked the book back up, shyly holding it up. Riddle could read the title now: The Queen of Hearts Guide to Courtship and Love. 
“You,” Riddle said, feeling his face heat up. He held up the flowers. “You mean it? Really?” 
(Y/N) took a step towards him, understanding softening the worry on her face. “Of course. I wanted to ask you out and I thought, well,” She waved at the multicolored roses, laughing. “Go big or go home, right?” 
“It certainly is a statement.” Riddle picked up a yellow rose with red tipping the petals and handed it to her. (Y/N) recognized the colors immediately as meaning ‘Falling in love.’ She gasped in happiness, jumping forward to wrap Riddle in a tight hug. 
Leona: 
“Ruggie!” Ruggie paused as he heard (Y/N) call his name. She jogged over to him where he held Leona’s typical boxed lunch order. “Hey, that’s for Leona, right? Do you mind if I bring it to him? There’s something important I have to talk to him about.” Ruggie considered it for a moment before shrugging and handing it over, but not before stealing a couple of chips to pop into his mouth as he strolled away. 
(Y/N) found Leona in his normal spot, a hidden alcove in the gardens in the biodome. He was laying on his back, arms crossed behind his head, and eyes closed as he dozed. He cracked his eye open as (Y/N) approached. 
“Hi,” She said, kneeling down beside him. 
“Hmm,” He replied. 
“I have something important to ask you.” 
“Are you going to try and make me get up?” “No.” 
“Alright, ask away.” 
“Will you go out with me?” 
Leona’s eyes snapped open. He pushed himself up on his elbows to stare at (Y/N), smiling sincerely at him, and maybe holding his lunch hostage until she got an answer. 
“I really like you,” She continued. “You’re brave and confident and know exactly who you are. Sure, you can be stubborn as hell, but you also really care about people close to you. Don’t make that face, you can’t fool me. You could have easily thrown me out when Grim and I needed someplace to stay when Azul took over Ramshackle, but you didn’t. You didn’t even kick us out when we were making so much noise and annoying you, you helped us break Azul’s contracts instead. You joined the Culinary Crucible because Epel did and you wanted to keep an eye on your team mate. Please, as if you ever need to learn how to cook, I know you can’t even use a microwave. And you pretend not to notice when Ruggie steals your credit card. And there was that time you followed all of us to Playful Land because you were worried we were going to get scammed. You didn’t have to do that, but you did. You’ve got a big heart of gold under that spiky exterior. And I really admire you for that. I… I really love you, Leona.” 
“Well,” Leona said, laying back down, tail flicking. “I suppose going on a date wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.” (Y/N) decided not to point out the content smile stretching across his face. She made a move to stand up, but Leona shot an arm out to hook around her waist, pulling her down next to him with an “Oof.” “Now don’t tell anyone else about all that,” Leona grumbled without any real heat. 
Ruggie: 
Ruggie was in Leona’s room, folding laundry while the house warden took a nap behind him. Ruggie stretched his arms above his head, sighing when there was a satisfying pop in his back. Suddenly, the door to the room slammed open. Ruggie yelped and Leona woke with an undignified snort. 
“Gah, what now?” Leona mumbled. 
“Ruggie!” (Y/N) said, standing in the doorway. She was panting as if she had just run across campus (she had). 
“Uh, what? Yeah? Whatever it was, I didn’t take it!” 
Unperturbed, (Y/N) marched over to him, taking both his hands in hers. “You did take something.” Ruggie frantically tried to remember if he had stolen anything from Ramshackle recently. He tried not to, knowing (Y/N) was pretty much as broke as he was. It didn’t seem fair. And maybe he liked her a little too much to swipe something. “You stole my heart!” (Y/N) continued dramatically. “Will you go out with me?” 
Behind them, Leona coughed to unconvincingly cover up a laugh. 
Ruggie’s ears flattened to his head in shock. He reached back and batted at his tail as if that would get it to stop wagging. “I - what? Are you sure? Me? What?” 
“Of course! You’re resourceful, you work hard, you’re clever, and you care a lot about your family back home. I really admire all that about you and more! Not to mention you’re super cute. So, will you go out with me?” 
“Oh, just say yes already, Ruggie,” Leona said, settling down to continue his nap. “At least then I won’t have to hear you being such a sap all the time.” 
Ruggie let out his signature laugh. He tightened his grip on (Y/N)’s hands. “Well, sure then, why not? As long as you’re paying, right?” 
Jack: 
Jack and Vil were out on their daily morning run. The sun was just beginning to rise over the horizon, casting the Night Raven College campus in a warm golden light. At their halfway point, they took a break, Vil stretching in his cooldown. 
“You sure you don’t want to keep going with me?” Jack asked. 
“No,” Vil said. “I’d rather stay slim than bulk up like you. I have my status to maintain. And besides, it looks like I would be interrupting something rather important.” He smiled knowingly and pointed with his chin a little ways down the sidewalk. 
Jack turned. He felt his tail start to wag on its own when he saw (Y/N) standing by one of the Great Seven statues, drawing circles in the ground with her foot. She looked up, breaking out in a warm smile when she saw him. Vil chuckled under his breath and waved as he headed back to Pomfiore. 
Jack clenched his jaw, willing his tail to stay still as he approached her. “Good morning. You’re not usually up this early, right? Is everything okay?” 
(Y/N) jutted her arms out completely straight, offering up the flowering Chin cactus in her hands. “Jack!” She said. “I really like you. I love how brave you are. I love how you’re dedicated to the people you care about. I love how you can be sweet and kind even when you try to act tough all the time. Would you go out with me?” 
“Yes!” Jack replied, almost before the words had even left (Y/N)’s mouth. He put his hands over hers, cradling the cactus. “I mean, yes, I would like to go out with you. Very much.” 
Azul: 
Azul jumped as (Y/N) slammed her hands on his desk in the VIP room of the Monstro Lounge. He quickly gathered his composer, pushing his glasses back up his nose. “Well, Prefect, to what do I owe the pleasure?” 
“I have a deal for you,” She said confidently. 
“Oh? I’d love to hear it.” 
Smiling, she whipped out a sheet of paper and slapped it on top of the other documents Azul had spread over his desk. On the top of the page in an elegant script were the words ‘Contract of First Date.’ Azul felt a lump form in his throat as his heart sped up. He quickly scanned over the rest of the ‘contract,’ outlining the proposed date. 
“Terms of the deal,” (Y/N) continued. “You, me, romantic night out. I know a guy in Craneport who said we could use one of their rowboats and I found this really cool pond with all these willow trees and fireflies. Plus I have this cute picnic basket all set up. Jamil has been teaching me how to cook, you know? Can’t say it’ll be as good as his, if we’re being honest about the terms of agreement. And the contract leaves an opening for future dates depending on the success of this one! Of course, success is not really a super definable term but you get what I mean. So, do we have a deal?” 
Azul covered his face with one hand, trying desperately to ignore how red his face must be at this point. He couldn’t seem to meet her enthusiastic and twinkling eyes. 
“I, uh,” (Y/N) continued, shyer this time as Azul scanned over the contract. “I really like you, Azul. A lot. So, will you go out with me?” 
He looked back down at the contract where her name was written in elegant script at the bottom with space for his next to it. He cleared his throat, bringing back his practiced (definitely not shady) businessman smile. With a sweep of his pen, he said, “It’s a deal.” 
Jade: 
(Y/N) marched across the cafeteria, determination in her eyes. She stopped in front of a table with Jade, Floyd, and Azul. “Hi!” She said, maybe a little too loudly with nerves. Jade and Azul looked up from their conversation, Floyd pausing his efforts in making a castle out of mashed potatoes. “Jade, I really like you. Do you want to go out with me?” 
“Oh?” Jade said, a brief moment of genuine surprise crossing his face before he schooled his features back into pleasant neutrality. “Well, what a pleasant surprise.” 
Floyd snorted and elbowed his brother. “Shrimpy’s got a crush,” He said in a sing-song voice. 
“I must admit,” Jade said, pouting with one hand on his cheek. “I always did imagine a more theatrical confession. Nonetheless, I happily acc-” 
“I can do that!” (Y/N) interrupted. Holding on to Floyd’s shoulder for balance, she climbed on top of the table. She clapped her hands loudly, shouting, “Attention! Attention, please, everyone! I have an announcement!” She cleared her throat as the room fell silent. “I would like to declare my unequivocal, utter devotion and love for Jade Leech.” She heard a choking sound below her but continued on. “I am hopelessly in love, helplessly enraptured, and absolutely head over heels. And it is my deepest hope that he could return my affections. Thank you.” With that, she hopped down, beaming. There was a smattering of applause and laughter from around the room. Epel whooped from back at the first year table. 
Jade’s hands covered his blushing face, fierce sharp eyes peeking out between his fingers. His mouth was split in a wide smile, sharp teeth glinting in a mixture of bashfulness, excitement, and desire. 
“Congratulations, (Y/N),” Azul said. “I can barely remember that last time Jade was actually flustered.” 
“Aww, look at him, he’s speechless!” Floyd teased. 
(Y/N) winced. “Sorry, was that too far?” 
Jade shot out with lightning speed, crushing her in his tight eel grip. “I should let you know,” He whispered to her. “I expect this level of dedication for the entirety of our relationship.” 
Floyd: 
Floyd darted through the stacks of the library. He could have sworn he saw Goldfish in here earlier, and he was in the mood to mess with the easily angered boy. And, while he didn’t find Riddle, he did pause as he saw (Y/N) between the books. He paused, pushing a few books aside to rest his chin on the shelf, an easy smile crossing his face as he spied on her. 
She was hunched over one of the study tables, a large book propped up and open in front of her. She was diligently working on something in her hands, tongue poking out between her lips (lips that Floyd found himself thinking about more often than he would admit), looking back up at the book in front of her every so often. 
Dropping down low, Floyd carefully made his way behind her, silent on his feet. Rising up to his full height behind her, unsuspecting, he jolted forward, wrapping her in a backward hug and pulling her back so the chair careened back on two legs. 
“Shrimpy!” He said, taking delight in her startled squeal. “Whatcha doin’?” 
“God, Floyd,” (Y/N) said, putting a hand to her chest to calm her raging heart. Her eyes suddenly went wide and she lunged forward to cover what she was working on with her arms. “Ah! Don’t look, don’t look! It’s not done!” 
Floyd grinned again. “Aww, it’s not nice to keep secrets.” His hands shot out, pulling out the thing she was hiding. (Y/N) covered her face as Floyd inspected the object. It was a thick piece of twine, various polished shells, sea glass, and dried shiny scales strung throughout. Although it wasn’t exactly neat, the way it caught the sunlight cast tiny rainbows and simmers around the library. Floyd peered at the open book. It was a cultural history of merpeople in the Coral Sea. The opened chapter described mer courting rituals and marriage traditions. Floyd started cackling as (Y/N) buried her face further in her hands.  
“How old is this thing?” Floyd asked, poking at the book. “I don’t even think my grandparents made courting charms.” 
“Shut up,” (Y/N) mumbled. “I was trying to… Forget it.” 
Floyd slipped the haphazard necklace over his neck, prying her hands away to hold them tightly in his. “I accept!” He said brightly. “This was for me, right? It better be, Shrimpy.” 
She smiled and flicked his forehead. “Possibly against my better judgment, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else, Floyd.” 
Kalim: 
Kalim knew he should probably be studying, but every time he opened a text book or looked at the notes Jamil had oh-so-carefully marked and tabbed for him, he felt his eyes start to droop and mind get fuzzy. A good after lunch walk was just what he needed, and he definitely wasn’t just saying that to put off work. 
He stopped when he realized he had wandered outside Ramshackle dorm. Was that on purpose? Did he subconsciously come here, with the hope he might see (Y/N)? Kalim walked up to the front door, knocking before opening the door and calling inside. 
“Hello! It’s Kalim! Can I come in?” 
There was a squawk of surprise from the front sitting room. (Y/N) poked her head around the corner, flustered. 
“Hi. Sure, come on in. Uh, sorry, I’m kind of in the middle of something.” 
“Can I help?” Kalim asked, walking over to her. Peering into the sitting room, Kalim’s face lit up. Every available surface, and a few unavailable surfaces, were covered in colored and patterned paper. There were stacks and crowds of tiny paper birds littered between everything. 
“I don’t know if it counts if more people make them.” 
Kalim sat on one of the plush chairs, picking up a flowery piece of paper. “If what will count?” 
“It’s an old superstition from my world. If you can fold 1000 paper cranes, your wish will come true. Or something like that.” 
“Ooh, origami! I’ve made decorations using that before! I’m not super good at it, but I’ll help if you want.” 
(Y/N) smiled and sat next to him and Kalim felt his heart flip. “Yeah, I’d like the company.” 
They lost track of time folding cranes, the sun beginning to set high above the dilapidated house. They talked the whole time, jumping from topic to topic, joke to joke, without any real sense of flow. It was warm, there in the small room, not only due to the crackling fireplace. 
“So,” Kalim asked eventually. “What wish were you wanting to make? If this dosen’t work out, I can help you with it!” 
(Y/N) suddenly went bashful, turning away to pay extra attention to the folds of her bird. “I…” She muttered. She took a deep breath, turning to fully face Kalim. “I was going to ask you out. You have all these elaborate decorations and parties all the time. I was going to string all of these together and hang them in your room then ask you out. But, now that you’re here… Kalim, would you go out with me?” 
Kalim dropped the paper crane, flinging himself across the couch to wrap her in a tight hug. “Yes! Yes, yes yes! Oh, I would love to! Huh, I guess that means I need to cancel that order of doves now. That’s how I was going to ask you out next week. Hey, we both thought of birds! That must mean we definitely belong together, right?” 
Jamil: 
“Be right back,” (Y/N) said, standing from the first year cafeteria table. She walked across the cafeteria until she stopped in front of Kalim and Jamil. 
Jamil was shoving a napkin at Kalim. “Careful, you’re going to get sauce all over your shirt.” 
“It’s fine, I’ll be careful! And besides, it’s a pretty color, right? Oh, hey, (Y/N)!” 
“Hi,” She said, looking solely at Jamil. “Jamil, I really like you. Would you want to go out with me?” 
Kalim gasped, hands to his cheeks as he looked excitedly from Jamil to (Y/N). Jamil sucked in a sharp breath, clenching his hands. “I…” He started. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). I can’t.” 
“Oh.” Jamil looked down, but not before he caught the hurt confusion on (Y/N) face. “That’s okay. Thanks for hearing me out. Bye, guys.” She walked back to her table. 
Jamil only looked up again when Kalim slapped his arm. “Jamil! That was your chance!” 
Jamil scowled. “There is no chance. I said no, she accepted it. Drop it.” 
“But you told me you liked her!” 
“I said no such thing.” 
Kalim waved his hand dismissively. “I read between the lines.” 
“There were no lines!” 
“Jamil.” He looked up at Kalim. It wasn’t often the other boy used such a serious voice, or had such a set expression on his face. “You can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep yourself from being happy because you feel like you don’t deserve it.” 
Jamil flinched back, standing suddenly. A million retorts zipped through this mind at once, all of them falling flat and dying on his tongue. Before he could say something he would regret, heart thundering in his ears, he fled the cafeteria, ignoring the stabbing looks from the first year table as (Y/N)’s friends gave her sympathetic pats on the back. 
Jamil couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned in his bed, listening to the soft, even breathing of his roommate. Huffing in annoyance, he threw off the covers and left his room. He thought he would just take a walk, just get some fresh air. Without paying attention, Jamil’s feet took him out of Scarabia, across campus, and, before he knew it, in front of Ramshackle dorm. His fist hovered in front of the door, internally debating whether or not he should knock. He startled when he heard talking behind him, spotting (Y/N) and Malleus making their way up the pathway. 
(Y/N) stopped when she saw him. “Oh. Hi, Jamil.” 
“Hi,” Jamil said, limply lifting a hand in greeting. 
Malleus looked down at Jamil, glaring. “Viper.” It sounded more like an insult than his name. 
“Did you need something?” (Y/N) asked. “It’s kind of late. Is everything okay?” 
“I-” Jamil started. “I need to talk to you.” 
Malleus stepped in front of (Y/N), but stopped when (Y/N) put a hand on his arm. They had a quick and quiet conversation, Malleus nodded and walked away. (Y/N) came up to the front door, opening it for him. 
“I’ll make some tea,” She said as they stepped into the entryway. 
“Wait-” Jamil said, catching her hand. Everything tumbled out of him all at once. “I wanted to go out with you. I like you, so much so that it scares me sometimes. That’s why I said no earlier. I just think - I thought you would - should - do better than me, after everything that’s happened. But I -” He paused, only realizing now how out of breath he was. (Y/N) looked up at him and he felt breathless all over again. “I want to do better. I want to be better, for you if not for anything else. I know I probably don’t deserve it but, (Y/N), will you go out with me?” 
(Y/N) laughed, wiping away tears at the corners of her eyes with the heel of her hand. “Yes, I’d like that a lot.” 
Vil: 
Something was wrong, Vil could feel it. After all the chaos of his time at Night Raven College, he had almost developed a sixth sense for this type of thing. 
Vil narrowed his eyes, sweeping them over the Pomfiore sitting room. A group of students were sitting around one of the tables, studying. A few others were in front of the fireplace. A couple others were performing some viral dance for a Magicam reel. Nothing seemed amiss here. 
Vil walked down the hall of the dorm, heels clicking against the marble floor. With a missed step, Vil realized he hadn’t seen Epel or Rook in quite some time. That was… concerning. He quickened his walk. 
Vil almost gave himself whiplash as he passed by the ballroom. The door was cracked open ever so slightly so he could peer through. He felt slightly ridiculous, eavesdropping as if he wasn’t the caretaker for the dorm and all those in it. But his thoughts faltered as he observed the scene inside. He found Epel and Rook, as well as several other Pomfiore students, constructing elaborate sets out of painted cardboard and repurposed decorations from the dorm. Was that…? Something about this all seemed eerily familiar. 
“Wait, wait! You’re early!” (Y/N) said. She appeared in front of him, waving her hands to try and block his view. She grabbed his hand, tugging him out of the room. “Don’t look!” She pushed him back into the hall, disappearing back into the ballroom. A second later, she emerged with a chair, setting it down and waving to it. “Just another few minutes.” The door clicked closed behind her before Vil could say anything. He thought about barging in, demanding an explanation. But his curiosity got the better of him. And besides, he always loved to see what (Y/N) got up to. Huffing in amusement, he sat down, crossing his legs at the ankles. 
A while later, Epel, Rook, and the other students fled the ballroom, giving Vil knowing looks as they passed. With skepticism, Vil stood up and made his way inside. Standing in the doorway, he was suddenly hit with a wave of nostalgia. Taking a better look, he recognized the replica set. It was from one of his first ever movies, a children’s adventure called The Heist of the Everlasting Rose. This particular scene was set in a museum where the Everlasting Rose was kept. It had been a supporting role, where, ironically, he had played a child actor in part of a crew to steal the titular Rose to pay for the main character’s sister’s surgery, or some other such justifiable nonsense like that. It was his first big screen production, although it was a relatively low-budget and minor movie. He remembered after the film had come out he and his father would pour over reviews praising his performance. At that moment, he felt like he was on top of the world. 
Vil was brought out of his reminiscing by (Y/N)’s voice. “Hello, sir!” She said. She had put on a tour guide’s jacket, once again modeled after the one in the film. “Welcome to the museum! We have our prized exhibit right this way.” Vil smirked, humoring her, if nothing else than to see where this was all going. Linking their arms, (Y/N) brought him through the makeshift museum. “Legend has it that this rose was given by a cursed prince to his beloved, who saved him from the brink of death with its magical powers. Since then, it has been a symbol of pure and everlasting love.” She carefully lifted the cloche from the silk flower, tiny fairy lights arranged around the base. She held it out to him, one hand dramatically pressed to her chest. “And now, I’d like to give it to you, Vil, to profess my everlasting love. Would you go out with me?” 
Vil couldn’t help it, it was all too much. The extravagant set, (Y/N) memorizing specific passages from such an old and now obscure film, the entire production. He burst out laughing, pressing the back of his hand against his mouth, eyes closed. “Well,” He said, catching his breath. “After such a wonderful effort, how could I possibly say no? Yes, my dearest (Y/N), I would love nothing more than to be with you.” 
Rook: 
“(Y/N), you’re gonna shoot your eye out.” 
“No, it’ll be fine. You have to take risks for the sake of love.” 
“Oh, Seven, we don’t need two of you.” 
Rook’s ears picked up, hearing Epel and (Y/N) talking in the back gardens of the Pomefiore dorm. Smiling, he crept around to (definitely not) spy on them. (Y/N) was struggling with a large bow, an arrow flopping around as she tried to aim it. Pomfiore had a small target practice area set up in the back of the dorm. (Y/N) was trying, emphasis on trying, to shoot arrows at one of the red and white round targets. After her latest arrow struck the ground in front of the target, Epel sighed and walked to the target, collecting other fallen arrows. He stabbed them into the target in the shape of a heart, a letter with Rook’s name pinned to the bullseye. 
“Don’t say I never did anything for you,” Epel said. 
“Oh? And what favor are you performing, Monsieur Pommette?” Both of them jumped, Rook smiling wider at the surprised squeak (Y/N) made. 
“You’re on your own, (Y/N)!” Epel said before rushing off. 
(Y/N) huffed. “Traitor,” She said under her breath. She turned to Rook. “Hi.” 
“Bonjour, Trickster.” 
“You’re, uh, early. I thought you were going to be at your club for a while longer.” 
Rook waved a hand. “There was an unexpected explosion and we had to evacuate. But I am much more interested in what you’re up to here.” 
“Ah, well…” She trailed off, limply pointing to the letter stabbed in the target. She covered her face with her hands, heat rushing to her cheeks as Rook elegantly plucked the letter up and began reading. 
(Y/N) could basically see the hearts forming in his eyes as he finished reading her confession. He dramatically clutched the love letter to his chest, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead. “Oh, mon amour le plus cher! Comme c’est merveilleux de lire vos sentiments les plus caret! Je n’ai jamais vu quelque chose d’aussi beau!” 
“So,” (Y/N) asked nervously. “Is that a yes?” 
“Oui, oui! One thousand times oui!” He cheered as he gathered her in a swinging hug. 
Epel: 
Epel found the first note the day after (Y/N)’s announcement in the cafeteria. Whatever she had wanted to do was apparently pretty important, as she had grabbed Grim and they left immediately. Epel hadn’t seen her the rest of the day, but he would recognize that handwriting on the paper wrapped around his dorm room handle anywhere. 
He looked around to make sure no one was watching before unfolding the paper and reading. ‘Epel, I have something important I need to ask, but before that I have a simple task. Take this first note of the set and go to the place we first met. Love, (Y/N).’ Epel tried not to think too much about that ‘Love’ part. Where did he and (Y/N) first meet? At this point it almost felt like they had known eachother forever. 
Would that be, maybe, the well in the quad? Epel remembered meeting her, Ace, Deuce, and Grim there when he was rehearsing singing, using the well’s acoustics. But, no, they had seen each other somewhere else first. Epel blushed in embarrassment at the memory. He had been crying, frustrated to hell and back with Vil’s lectures right after coming back from winter break. He’d run into them at the Great Seven statues. 
Epel went to the statues, deciding if he didn’t find anything there he would try the well. But, lo and behold, another note was waiting at the base of the Fairest Queen’s statue. He read, ‘Epel, Congrats on finding your second clue! By now you have an idea of what to do. For the next place I want you to go, think of the place we lived side by side before the show. Love, (Y/N).’ 
That one was easy, Ramshackle dorm. As Epel sprinted across campus, both notes held tightly in his fist, he reminisced about spending his days training for the VDC in Ramshackle. Most of the time there seemed like torture, running endless dancing drills, feeling constricted by Vil’s lessons whose purpose he still didn’t fully understand at the time, worrying about the whole dorm falling down around his ears at any moment. But there were plenty of good moments too. (Y/N) making them - Vil approved - breakfast in the morning, her encouragement at each of their rehearsals, how she would slip them treats when Vil and Rook’s backs were turned to help boost their mood. 
Sure enough, Epel found his next note on the Ramshackle front gate. There was another rhyme instructing him to go to another location, also connected to his and (Y/N)’s relationship and past. That lead to another and to another and another, each unlocking a precious memory between the two. Eventually, he unfolded the final note, the sun just starting to set, casting NRC in beautiful golden light. ‘Epel, I hope by now you get to see exactly how much you mean to me. We’ve been through a lot and I’ve enjoyed every and I’ve enjoyed every second, and… Okay, I can’t come up with any more rhymes. Just turn around!’ 
Lowering the paper, Epel turned, opening his arms just in time to catch (Y/N) in a big hug. They spun around each other for a second with the momentum, finally coming to a stop and looking to each other's eyes. 
“Hi,” (Y/N) said. “Did you like my scavenger hunt?” 
“You’re bad at rhyming,” Epel said with a crooked smile. 
She wacked his shoulder. “Hey, I meant what I wrote, though. I really like you, Epel. Would you go out with me?” 
Epel squeaked her tight. “Only if you promise not to write any more poetry.” 
Idia: 
Idia was holding out in his room, huddled under a blanket, his phone clutched tight in his hand. He was watching a live stream from his favorite idol group, Premo. He smiled as the group answered fan questions, talked about their upcoming tour, and demonstrated how to perform some of their most famous dance moves. 
The viewer chat scrolled across the side of the screen. Donations and chat reactions popped up in various animations across the screen. Idia hit the donate button, sending a flurry of roses blooming along the edges of the screen. He smiled as the idols thanked Gloomurai for his support. 
One of the idols leaned over, checking the chat feed. She gasped, flapping a hand at the others and enthusiastically pointing at what she was reading. They all started smiling and giggling, whispering to each other. Idia shuffled closer, as if that would let him read whatever message they had gotten. 
“Hey, everyone!” One of them said. “We’ve got a super special shout-out! This is from (Username) to… Gloomurai!” 
Idia’s heart raced as he sat up in bed, blanket draped over him. (Username), (Username)... Wait, he recognized that. That was your username! He had helped you set up your account to the MMO he played a while ago. He remembered helping you through the intro stages, stumbling over the tutorials. He had laughed at your frustrated frown as you died on the same boss for the third time. 
“Aww,” The second idol said. “This is sweet. It says, ‘Gloomurai, I thought about telling you this in person, but I wasn’t sure when that would actually be. And sometimes big feelings require big gestures. I like you, I really, really like you. I think I have for a long time. I love your smile, I love your hair, I love your brain, I love that you’re such an amazing big brother. Will you go out with me?’ Well, Gloomurai? Tell us your answer! We’re waiting on pins and needles here!” 
“Oh, wait,” The third idol said. “There’s more. It says, ‘PS, check your door.’” 
Idia yelped as he shot up, the blanket falling to a heap on the floor. Heart thundering in his chest and head starting to go fuzzy. He almost felt like he was in a daze as he walked with trepidation to his door. Slowly opening it, Idia saw a basket placed just in front. It was filled with his favorite snacks, small acrylic standees of characters from his favorite games and anime, and studded with bluebells, irises, and blue asters. A large paper heart was pinned to the front with her and his initials drawn in the middle. Hair flaring pink, he quickly brought the basket back into his room before any of his dorm mates would notice. 
He heard commotion from his phone, Premo and the chat all eagerly awaiting his response. He sent in another donation with a simple, “Yes.” The idols cheered and squealed. 
He swiped out of the livestream, opening his messaging app. (Y/N)’s name popped up with a new message, a cheering emoticon with three blue hearts. 
He subconsciously covered his face as he smiled wide, typing back, “You’re so cringe. Can’t wait for the date.” 
Silver: 
(Y/N) sprinted across campus, heading whipping around to try and catch a familiar shimmer of silver white hair. She skidded to a stop when she saw a black Diasamonia coat draped over a low tree branch, a pair of shined boots sticking out behind the trunk. 
(Y/N) rounded the old oak tree. “Silv-! Oh, sorry.” 
Silver was reclining against the tree, hands folded across his stomach, chest rising and falling with deep even breaths, eyes closed and lips slightly parted as he slept. A few songbirds and a pair of squirrels congregated around him, looking up with big eyes at the newcomer. 
(Y/N) shifted her weight from foot to foot before screwing up her courage and sitting down next to Silver. She shuffled down so she laid next to him, still leaving enough room to not cause too much of a scandal if anyone walked by. She settled down, closing her eyes and relaxing, taking in the sounds of the woodland animals around them, the talking of other students in the distance, the wind whispering through the trees. 
A short while later, she heard stirring next to her. (Y/N) blinked awake quickly, propping herself up and leaning back on her hands as Silver woke up beside her. 
“Hi,” She said. “Would  you want to go out with me?” 
Silver blinked the sleep out of his eyes, looking up at her. “I must still be dreaming,” He muttered. “If I am, then…” He reached forward, cupping the back of her head and pulling her down. She gasped as their lips brushed. Silver’s eyes suddenly shot open and he jerked back from her as if burned. “I- uh-” He studded, pale skin turning a ruby red. 
(Y/N) giggled at his embarrassment. “Well, I guess that’s a yes, right?” 
Sebek: 
“Be right back!” (Y/N) said as she suddenly stood from the first year cafeteria table. Before anyone had a chance to say anything, she was off like a shot. 
“Any idea what that was about?” Epel asked. The others shrugged. 
Grim reached over to snag half (Y/N)’s sandwich from her discarded tray. “Probably going to go ask out that boy she keeps talking about,” He said nonchalantly, mouth full. 
Sebek choked, standing fast and slamming his hands on the table so all their plates and cutlery clattered. “What!” 
“Chill, man,” Ace said, waving him down as people across the cafeteria turned to stare. Ace smirked. “Unless you’re particularly invested in (Y/N)’s love life?” 
Sebek blushed and slammed back into his seat. He picked his knife and fork back up and started sawing at his Salisbury steak. “No,” He snapped. “(Y/N) can do whatever she wants. What do I care?” 
“Sure,” Epel said. 
(Y/N) reappeared in the cafeteria a short while later, Malleus in tow. She was talking with him, gesturing with her hands. Malleus had a wide, amused smile, nodding along. 
Sebek stood again, at attention for his prince. “Good afternoon, Lord Malleus!” He said. “To what do we owe the pleasure of your presence?” He scowled at the other first years rolling their eyes at his formality. 
“Hello, Sebek. I’ve come to give my blessing.” 
“Blessing?” 
“Sebek!” (Y/N) said brightly. She took both his hands in hers as he sputtered and blushed. “I really like you. Would you go out with me?” 
For once, Sebek was speechless, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. (Y/N) squeezed his hands tighter as Malleus chuckled next to them. “Well, Sebek? It’s not polite to keep a lady waiting.” 
Life seized back into the knight. He tightened his grasp on (Y/N), pulling her closer. “Yes! Absolutely! I mean, ahem, I accept your offer of courting, since you went so far to get my lord’s blessing, after all.” 
Lilia: 
Lilia wouldn’t call what he was doing skulking, exactly. More like surprise chaperoning, keeping an eye on the youngsters of Night Raven College like a good upperclassman should. And, if he just so happened to pop out and scare the living daylights out of whatever unfortunate student happened to be nearby, well, more fun for him. 
So it wasn’t especially surprising when he heard Silver and (Y/N) talking to each other in the courtyard. As a sly smile stretched across his face, he floated to a hiding place in the shadows of the flying buttresses, resting on his stomach to kick his feet, chin resting in his hands, as he observed the two. 
“You want my permission?” Silver asked, an amused smile on his face. 
“Of course!” (Y/N) replied. “I wouldn’t want to make it weird by dating him while we’re all still students together.” 
Lilia faltered. That was the problem with spying, sometimes you heard things you didn’t want to. So the Prefect was romantically interested in someone, eh? And if they were asking Silver for permission, it must be someone close to him. Sebek, maybe? Or, oh dear, Malleus? Lilia knew for a fact that both of the boys thought of (Y/N) as a close and dear friend and nothing more. His heart panged in sympathy at the idea of rejection. And, if he was being honest with himself, it panged with something else as well. 
“You don’t think he’s a little old for you?” Silver asked teasingly. 
“Maybe I like a silver fox,” (Y/N) teased right back. 
Silver laughed. “I don’t think I ever want to hear my father described as a silver fox ever again.” 
Lilia lost his concentration, falling with a yelp against one of the chandeliers hanging in the hallway. 
“Lilia?” (Y/N) asked with a gasp. 
Lilia smiled, trying to regain poise as he floated down to them. “Looks like I’m not as slick as I used to be. Now, what were you two discussing just now?” 
(Y/N) look startled. Silver gave her shoulder a reassuring pat and left with a wave. Just the two of them now, (Y/N) took a deep breath, building up her courage. 
“Lilia!” She said, probably a little too loudly with nerves. “I really like you! Would you go out with me?” 
Lilia chuckled, leaning close to enjoy the shy and flustered look on her face. “Well, if you have my son’s blessing, how am I to refuse? Besides, I think I rather like being called a, what was it you said? A silver fox?” 
Malleus: 
Malleus looked up from his book, looking around his room for the source of the noise that disturbed his studying. There, another sharp ‘ping’ from across the room. He looked to the window, noticing a small pebble hitting the glass. He walked over and opened the window, dodging just in time to miss another pebble. 
“Oops! Sorry, Horton!” He looked down, a smile automatically crossing his face at (Y/N)’s voice. But his expression quickly changed to puzzlement as he looked down at her. (Y/N) was standing in the courtyard of the Diasomonia dorm, inside a giant heart made of dozens of tiny tea candles. 
In a swirl of green light, Malleus appeared next to her on the ground floor. She jumped a little bit at his sudden appearance, but quickly recovered herself and beamed up at him. He felt his heart flip in that pleasant way it always did when he was near her. 
“What’s all this?” 
She cleared her throat dramatically, dropping to one knee. “Dearest Horton, you have bewitched me body and soul. I would like to officially court you. Would you do me the absolute pleasure of accompanying me on a date this weekend?” 
Malleus blinked down at her for a moment, basking in the admiration and adoration filling her eyes. He laughed, reaching down to take her hand and pull her to standing. “My, how formal,” He said. 
She smiled, shrugging. “I wanted it to be memorable. Couldn’t manage the fireworks, though. Sorry.” 
“I can rectify that.” With an elegant sweep of his hand, sparks erupted from Malleus’s fingertips, shooting into the dark sky around the dorm to explode in fantastic colors. Students from in the dorm leaned out windows to admire the impromptu show. 
Malleus drew (Y/N) closer to him, admiring the multicolor flashes playing across her face. “I would adore being anywhere with you.”
339 notes · View notes
madschiavelique · 19 hours ago
Text
A Crown Of Ink : Chapter 9 - Death
summary : maybe it is time for reader to move on from patterns that are now useless and reconsider things
content warnings : some angst, then some comfort, then more angst, then more comfort, some crude language an mentions of harassment
word count : 6.1k
author's note : okay i think i might write my old bg3 requests still sitting in my inbox after this but!!!! im excited to write the next chap
proofread by the lovely @yaffles-world <3
masterlist : here
taglist : @doctorho @6selkie @yunloyal @kryscent @hypocritic-trash-baby @kapitankarate @a-lovers-card @ababanerb @lolixsstuff @forget-me-not-my-dear @smolanchovy @shugar0cone0alt @harrys--ferret-blog @suuummerrr @stillinracooncity @noxturnalmoth @dlbitch @cloufire @csolya @kathyholdsagrudge @furblrwurblr @potatointhedirt @atrocioushaircut @ren-ni @schrodingersraven @urmommt
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You had spent your Saturday recovering, not without frustration. It was a waste of time, you thought. You could have taken advantage of a day without any classes or work like that to study and make more progress, but Selene had come to visit you, worried.
She officially met Sky, who had always admired her since her first lessons with her. Selene had come to your bedside, placing a gentle hand on your forehead for a moment, then letting it slide down to your warm cheek. She sighed, familiar with your overworking habits.
She asked Sky about your night, about the prescribed treatment, and Selene couldn't help but exchange a knowing glance with you when Viktor was mentioned, especially for such chivalrous deeds. She smiled a playful ‘see, I told you so’ which made you pull your cover over your head in annoyance.
When she left, Sky came back to you, bringing you a chicken broth to restore your health, which she hoped you'd consume to the last drop.
"I'm sorry it had to come to this and calling them, calling him. But..." She sighed, watching you finally eat something with relief. "You were working yourself to death, and with such a pace, you probably wouldn't have been able to pass the exams at all if you'd kept going."
You swallowed your mouthful with difficulty, a small knot of shame and regret tightening it. You'd been so obsessed, so fixated on outdoing yourself and winning back your number one spot from Viktor that you'd become nothing more than an information-gobbling machine.
You didn't even need it, you'd just decided to get ahead on the next year's syllabus in the hope of impressing in the papers and showing your dedication. How could you be so stupid? 
"Your state was deteriorating visibly..." Sky reflected, looking down at her hands before only meeting your gaze for a moment. "You really scared me, you know."
Your heart split in two. You placed your lunch tray on your bedside table, taking Sky's hands in yours and seeking her gaze despite her bowed head.
"Hey," you murmured in your tired voice as you smiled softly at her when she looked back at you. "You did the right thing, Sky. Without you..." you sighed, thinking back on your stupidity, "I don't know where I'd be right now. This was going to eat me alive until there would be nothing left of me but a white chalk outline on my desk."
She smiled softly, squeezing your hands. Her eyes glistened, her chin trembling slightly as she took off her glasses.
"Oh, Sky..." You pulled her into your arms, holding her close. "I'm sorry."
You couldn't imagine how tired she must have been, seeing you wasting away like that, not listening to her, not hearing her. She had her own revisions, her own things to do, and you had made your problem hers.
You could feel her forehead wrinkling, her hands trembling slightly around you as she twitched.
Since when did you become such an important part of someone's life that they cared that much about you?
What would have happened if, for one more year, you'd never had a flatmate? And if that flatmate hadn't been Sky, would she have had even an ounce of patience like your friend?
You'd fucked up and nearly gone off the deep end, and Sky had done everything she could to avoid it.
"I promise you to never do that again," you vowed, pulling away from her to run your thumb over her cheek and wipe away the tears. "Please, don't cry on me. Cry on... I don't know, Heimerdinger's hairstylist."
Don't cry for me, I'm not worth a waste of tears, not yours.
She laughed nervously, her eyes going to the ceiling. "I don't know why I'm crying, really, this is..." she sniffed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, "this is stupid."
"No, it's not," you smiled, "It's good to cry."
She raised her eyebrows, wiggling her nose and shrugging. "Well, you never do."
"That's because I sold my lacrimal glands," you chuckled, trying to lighten the mood by joking.
And it worked - she laughed, the sadness slowly evaporating from her face. "So you have no tears, but you still have your heart, right ?"
You closed your fist, banging it against your chest. "It's a dusty engine, but it does its work."
"Well," she stood up, "I hope it can still feel something."
You observed her for a moment, picking up a saucepan and filling it with water. No doubt to make coffee, or at least tea to ward off your addiction and prevent your mechanical heart from overheating under the caffeine. No amount of Piltovian gold could offer you anything like Sky's sweetness.
"My heart's full of room for the very few friends I have." You picked up your bowl of broth again, its warmth cupped against your fingers. "Its aorta is named after you."
She turned to you, smiling, her eyes filling again with tears as she breathed in. 
"You can't just say things like that and not expect me to ruin a box of these," she described movements in the air with her hands in ridiculous, exagerated swirls, "silk-soft tissues they have here."
"Their toilet paper is so thick and soft it feels like we're using pillows," you sneered before blowing on the bouillon.
"Right?!" Sky exclaimed, "It's only been like, a month and a half since I've been here and it all feels so fancy. Everything is so... clean."
"I know!" You laughed, "It's infuriating. The streets barely have a scratch, the buildings have colours straight out of a kid's colouring book, and they have trees."
She sighed, visualising the vegetation the city had before her eyes fell back on yours. "You never get used to it, right?"
You swallowed your mouthful of broth, pressing your lips into a thin line. "Never."
She leaned back against the worktop, watching you for a moment. "Seriously though." She tilted her head to one side. "Don't ever do that again."
You smiled, bringing your forefinger and thumb to your ear and pressing on the lobe. 
It was a custom in Zaun to pledge your word. In the Undercity, you pressed your lobe as if you were piercing it, to imaginatively seal in the skin a ring other than the one on your finger. However, everyone knows that if you pull too hard on a piercing, you can tear the flesh, and find it difficult to retie the skin so that it can be pierced again. So the promise was made with a symbolic ring, anchored in the skin, that the promise would be kept.
"May my flesh tear apart if, by misfortune, I betrayed," you recited.
During the rest of the last week of classes before the exams, you resumed a much more normal revision routine than the original, much to Sky's delight. You'd revise with her in the afternoons outside class, asking each other questions about the subjects you shared while you were trying not to die laughing from the stupid ways you looked with your facemasks during skincare time.
When Friday came around, you decided to go to the library again. Unconsciously, it had become a ritual. With Viktor or without, you intended to surround yourself with knowledge as immense as possible.
You went and sat down at a table, alone, while many students who had come for the same reason were already crowding most of the available ones. You took out your things, rereading your index cards for the umpteenth time until you were almost ready to recite them by heart if the need arose.
You couldn't help but lose concentration when you heard your name spoken in the distance, coming from voices that weren’t familiar to you, further behind your back.
"And to say Viktor got put with her on Heimerdinger's subject," one said, chuckling.
"I wonder which of them pulls their hair out more in each other's company."
You tried not to think about it, but since, for once, the conversation wasn't all about the walking street lamp, you couldn't help but let your ears hang close to their mouths.
"Did you see her the other day? A vision of the apocalypse. Hollow cheeks and dead eyes like she hadn't eaten in a month."
"Gotta have hollow cheeks to suck the teachers better," her classmate sneered.
Your jaw tightened, trying to ignore their remarks. This wasn't your first time hearing such things - the previous two years hadn't been as gentle as this one, even if Viktor had caused a few problems with his arrival.
"Can you believe what she did to Tyler?"
"She's an animal." They both laughed, causing you to sink back into your chair.
"How do you think Viktor handles her?"
"He doesn't, she's just a handicap to him and he seems to have an embarrassing enough one as it is."
You inhaled. Someone will probably tell them to be quiet so as not to disturb the peace of the library. You hoped.
"Who's a handicap?"
Your eyes widened as you suddenly turned around. Viktor was standing there, facing them, both students suddenly looking very confused and ashamed.
"Viktor," one of them laughed nervously, "this was just a joke, she..."
But the student didn't have time to come up with an excuse. Viktor raised an eyebrow before speaking.
"She's an incredible person who no one can defeat," he informed them, the latter two lowering their eyes on their notes suddenly invested in their revisions. "Except me."
He punctuated his sentence, turning away from them and meeting your gaze. He seemed surprised, not expecting to find you there, at least not doing nothing when such needlessly cruel nonsense was uttered in your name.
Inevitably, of course, he moved towards you.
Except me.  The phrase made you roll your eyes for a moment before you tried to read information from your notes that hadn't needed reading for a long time. 
He sat down opposite you, keeping his hand on the pommel of his cane. "Your name seems to be on everyone's lips, Miss."
"What can I say," you sighed, "the obsession they have for me is an undying addiction."
However, Viktor didn't seem amused at all.
"Why do you let them say such things about you without lifting a finger?"
You bit the inside of your lip, feeling the pressure of his gaze on you as your eyes scanned uselessly over your revision sheets. 
"It's not the first time I've heard that kind of comment about me," you confirmed without much interest, "I'll survive it."
"So you spend most of your time worrying about the injustices other people experience but you push your own under a doormat?" Viktor summed up, not seeming genuinely thrilled at the idea.
"If I could push the injustice that Tyler is by his very existence off the face of this world, I'd be stepping on some rich blonde aristocrat every time I left and returned from home."
But Viktor still wasn't laughing, far from it. When your eyes finally met his, they were dark.
He sighed. "Are you trying to punish yourself for something by neglecting yourself so much?"
I'd like to forget more than anything else in the world. The thought was taking over your soul, eating away at you like a gangrene with an insatiable hunger.
"Of course," you chuckled, exaggerating a falsely happy tone.
"Stop this." His tone was firm.
"Stop what?" you questioned.
"Trying to make something funny out of this."
You frowned, raising an eyebrow. "What? You're not feeling in the mood for our ritual chit chats?"
"Do I look like I'm joking around right now?"
His eyes had the same gleam, carried the same weight as when he'd held you in place in your bed just a week ago. You almost gulped, speechless. Why was he reacting like that? Why was he worried about you?
You lowered your eyes, licking your lips as you returned to your notes.
"Fine," you admitted, dropping your sarcastic tone. "I guess I owe you for saving my life, anyway."
It didn't sound like it, but it was probably the closest you'd come to a ‘thank you’ for him so far. He seemed surprised that you were finally cooperating in the conversation, that you were at last sending him a very subliminal magic word.
His shoulders slumped, as if the idea of being angry with you was stupid.
"How are you feeling?" He finally asked.
"I'm no longer sick, if that's the question you meant to ask."
"It was, but also," he brought his cane up between his legs, clasping both hands on the pommel as he came to rest his chin on it, "I just wanted to know how you are doing."
Why are you doing this? You were thinking back over the last few weeks. His questions during the power cut, the attention he'd paid to you, staying awake all night by your side to make sure you were taking your medication properly, and now...
"Well," you swallowed, these thoughts unsettling you for a moment and sending a foreign warmth into your belly, "the exams are approaching and I think you've had quite the close look on their effect on me so... yeah."
He considered you, tilting his head to the side until his cheek was the one pressed against the back of his hands. He scanned you, his gaze sending a warm wind up your spine.
"You're still on the treatment, right?"
The horrible powder you had to mix in a glass at least twice a day wasn't the moment you were looking forward to most in your daily routine, but you did it anyway, under Sky's sharp eyes.
You remained silent, just to see how Viktor would react and whether, as he had dictated, he would make sure you stayed in bed no matter what.
Faced with your silence, he raised an eyebrow as he straightened up, finally wrinkling his forehead as he frowned.
"Right?" he repeated, almost menacingly.
"Relax." A nervous chuckle escaped you. "Yes, I'm taking it."
He sighed in relief at the news, while you shook your head in confusion.
"You're putting all this effort... for me? Why"
The phrase sounded alien in your mouth, as if you weren't worth the time or energy of such dedication. He gazed at you for a moment, his eyes roving over your index cards.
"You know why."
"Because you can't have your best rival go against you while she's sick?" you recited.
"Because I don't want to be your rival."
You found this answer profoundly absurd.
"What do you mean-" But he cut you off, annoyed.
"What do you want, hmm? To become Heimerdinger's assistant?"
Of course, you thought, but the way Viktor had said it sounded... easy, too easy. Or at least, too easy for you.
"I don't intend to be his assistant, and I'm going to tell you why."
He stood up, walking around the table until he was beside you and leaning in slightly.
"Because I've already been his assistant, and I stopped."
The words echoed inside you, like the cracking of something you thought was indestructible. Your lips parted in shock, watching him with huge eyes as he straightened up.
"In any case. I wanted to make sure that you'd be back in good shape." He began to walk towards the library exit, turning one last time to give you a playful look. "And now that I'm sure you'll be in full shape, I know I don't need to hold back, hm, rival?"
He turned away, heading for the big door, leaving you with a short-circuited brain. What did he mean by "already been"? What did he mean he had stopped? How had Viktor ever been Heimerdinger's assistant?
When the sentence finally reached your mind after a long travel from your ears, you gathered your things in a flash as the questions began to fly and you almost ran to catch up with him. You caught up with him in the corridors, under the astonished gazes of all the students.
"What?" you asked, out of breath from the sudden exertion and the gust of wind the news had knocked from your chest.
He turned to you, slightly surprised that you'd practically chased after him. He'd probably expected you to sit at your table, mulling things over until the questions got too much for you and you decided to come and see him after a day or two of mental torment.
"You've been Heimerdinger's assistant?" you repeated, adjusting the strap of your satchel on your shoulder.
He shrugged, turning away from you. "Yes."
Was he really just going to leave like that? Leaving you in agony for answers you wanted more than anything? No, it wasn't going to be like that.
You grabbed his wrist, much to his surprise, and pulled him with you into an empty adjoining corridor. Once you were out of sight, checking from one end of the corridor to the other to see if anyone was there, you finally regained his gaze.
There was something in his eyes, like a hint of something that kept his lips parted until they closed and his eyes lowered to your hand still gripping his wrist.
You let go, the heat of shame spreading across your neck and cheeks for a moment as you took a step away, crossing your arms over your chest.
"When were you his assistant?"
He leaned against the wall, sighing as he stared at you.
"You do remember Jayce's trial, don't you?"
How could you forget? You hadn't been present at the trial. Selene had invited you to come as it concerned your friend, but you were too afraid of the aristocratic eyes and the pressure they would put on you.
The story remained vague. Due to special circumstances that remained under the security and secrecy of the administration as to the extent of Jayce's activities, he had been allowed to stay at the academy.
"Yes."
"By then, I had already been Heimerdinger’s assistant for a month.."
You now were certain you'd never seen him before. It was just one month into your summer holidays, and you had gone to Zaun to find Eris. Your chances of running into him were almost nil, no doubt about it.
"How did you get to become his assistant?" you quizzed.
He shrugged, and that simple movement made you want to scream. "I suppose he must have liked my assiduity enough to take me on. That and the fact that, with his little legs, I was bound to walk at his pace," he joked.
You held your breath in your lungs for a moment, before releasing it. He didn't seem to be lying, at least about the only serious part of his sentence. He was undoubtedly the best choice for Heimerdinger in any case.
However, it seemed to you that it wasn't so much exasperation that you were feeling - you were trying to understand what the feeling was... a relief, but not really about the fact that the assistant's place was free, no, a relief about Viktor that you couldn't really place at the moment.
"Why did you stop?" There was no longer any frustration in your voice, just a new-found curiosity.
Viktor seemed taken aback by your new intonation, straightening slightly against the wall. "It didn't interest me anymore."
What could he have found that was better? The thought, at last, that Viktor's aim was not to be an assistant for the rest of his life, crept into your mind. Viktor seemed to pick up on it.
"See? I told you we didn't have the same goal."
You finally realised what that feeling of relief was: you didn't have to hate him any more. You no longer had a reason to try to outdo him, no longer had a valid justification for becoming number one again. But why was it such a relief? There was rarely anything more gratuitous than hatred in what you knew, and it should have been the same for Viktor, so why was it such a relief not to have to hate him any more?
Hating him served no purpose, no motivation. It was useless, and what do you do with useless things?
You took half a step towards him.
"The truce you suggested, have you come up with any clauses?"
His eyebrows rose, his eyes widened. He lifted himself off the wall.
"Um no-" he began, but you cut him off.
"Find some, and I'll consider them."
And with that, you took off, leaving Viktor speechless. 
You moved quickly, trying to get home as fast as possible. You were afraid that the street air, so pure and fresh, would wash away your conclusions and fuel a hatred that no longer had any reason to exist.
But you didn't go home straight away, making a diversion to Emeline's shop. As soon as you entered her shop, she didn't hesitate to jump on your neck and give you a hug.
"My little lamb," she enthused as she squeezed you until your ribs broke before cupping your face as if to examine you, "are you feeling better? You gave me quite a fright, you know! When your friend came to visit me and told me you were ill I nearly closed up shop to come and see you myself."
"Everything's fine," you laughed, squeezing her arms, "I've almost completely recovered!"
You'd decided that, after your chat with Viktor and all the effort you'd put into your revision, you deserved a little something to comfort you.
After a little chat with Emeline, she packed two pastries, one for you and one for Sky. Of course, she didn't forget to fill you up with an extra small packet of sweets that would have gone unsold during the day.
When you returned home, you greeted Sky with a smile and raised the two bags of treats to your head. She smiled in surprise.
"To what do we owe this feast?" she asked.
You shrugged. "Let's just say I've made resolutions for the better."
You'd been laughing all evening, stuffing your faces with these delicacies as you both took a well-deserved break from studying.
Your eyes turned to your tarot deck, you'd forgotten to draw any cards lately due to your revisions, so after wiping your hands full of sugar, you took the pack in hand.
“I see you pulling one almost every morning,” Sky remarked, lying on her stomach on your bed while you were cross-legged. “Why do you do that?”
You pulled out your cards in your hands. “To have a leitmotif to follow during the day. Although to be quite honest I don't follow their advice every time.”
She laughed softly, knowing by now your stubbornness like no other. “That doesn't surprise me at all.”
“Yeah well,” you smiled in turn as you shuffled the cards, ”some of them are not the best cards to wake up on to in the morning.”
So you cut your deck as usual, and looked at its underside. You raised your eyebrows.
“Just like this one.”
You showed Sky the card: Death.
She winced, her eyebrows furrowing as her mouth formed as if she were pronouncing the letter x.
“Okay, I get it,” she said, shaking her head. “Is it literal? I hope not, right?”
“Nah it's pretty safe.” You laughed. “The description of its meaning is in the little booklet.” You pointed to it with your chin, and Sky grabbed it, flipping through until she found the Death page.
“Transition. Underworld. Flux. Occultism. Letting go. Evolution requiring liberation. Metaphorical death.” She read. “Off to a great start apparently.”
You chuckled, observing the card as she continued reading. “Death moves across a field with a slow, steady march. A king lies dead. He represents the old systems of order cast aside. A bishop begs for mercy, a young girl turns away in fear and only a curious little girl looks up to greet death. She has not been taught to fear it.”
Your thumb passed over the little girl's drawing, your heart clenching. 
“A ship sails away, heedless of death's march. A sun rises between two towers to reflect resurrection and new beginnings. All endings give way to new possibilities. Transformation leads to renewal and growth.” She raised her eyebrows. “Ain't as bad as I thought it would be.”
“Yeah,” you considered, thinking back on your day and the fact that the cards were pointing you in the right direction, ”indeed.”
Exam week was over. You'd had absolutely no trouble at all with any of the exercises. All the subjects were in the bag and you were finishing virtually ahead of schedule in every exam room.
Today was the day of results. The teachers had spent the weekend correcting everything, and the results boards had finally been displayed.
You woke up feeling lighter than you thought you would. Since realizing that there was no longer any point in chasing Viktor to victory, you'd relaxed.
You went down the hall with Sky, passing the student mailboxes for a moment so you could check if either of you had received anything.
You opened the metal door to a single letter, sealed with a metallic black wax seal you knew all too well: Eris.
You took the key to your apartment, using its teeth to open the envelope and take out the letter, which you brought to your nose.
Her letters always smelled of the essential oils and herbs that constantly appeased you. Without further ado, you unfolded the paper and read its contents.
My sweet friend,
I thought you were a lost cause in friendship, but I guess this year the wheel is really turning on your side. I'm delighted, and I imagine the same goes for Selene. I'd love to meet her, that Sky, she sounds absolutely charming. I'm guessing, though, that the day with your Five of Wands must have been no picnic, especially if - from what I understand - Emperor Viktor is to blame. But I'm sure that the Immeasurable Grandeur of the Prestigious Piltover Academy will crown your success.
You giggled to yourself as your eyes passed over the elegant, forced curves that Eris had taken care to add in response to your own inky bows.
I miss you so much. You know how the days are here in Zaun; I open, sell and consult, and close in the evening before any trouble starts. I'm paid with golden trinkets, new flowers to dry and other plants from other regions. I have managed to get some new customers, though, and not the least important ones. Renata Glasc herself has been to my shop.
You'd already heard of Renata Glasc, an ambitious woman who was growing in influence on the streets of Zaun. She wasn't a Chem Baroness, but at the rate she was going, it looked like she was well on her way to becoming one.
In fact, it's through her that I'm hearing about worrying things here. Common for Zaun, you may say, but I can't help thinking the worst. I'll tell you about it myself when we meet. I'm planning to come here around December 23, so let's meet at the usual bridge at three o'clock. I'll be staying with you for a few days. I can't tell you more. But I've lit a candle for you, wishing you success and good health.
I look forward to seeing you again, my dearest trouble,
Eris.
What could she possibly be worried about? The situation was invariably complicated in Zaun, but what could it be that she was worried about?
You carefully tucked the letter into your bag, heading out to the shuttle stop.
“Not too stressed?” Sky asked.
You huffed, a cloud of warmth rising into the air. The cold had been gaining in intensity for over a week, and all the students at the academy had donned their scarves.
“No.” you replied, confident. “You?”
“A bit,” she admitted, her breath trembling slightly.
“Hey,” you pressed your shoulder against hers as she turned to face you, ”you've got this. I know you do.”
She nodded, smiling at you as the shuttle arrived. The journey was swift, some students over-excited at the prospect of their results, others apprehensive about what was to come.
As you arrived at the golden gates of the academy, you noticed that neither Viktor nor Jayce were in sight. Perhaps they had decided to go to the academy later?
The group of students walked up to the scoreboards, an army of others already huddled in front of them.
Sky went in search of her name, while you breathed in, waiting for other students to pass before you.
You didn't know what awaited you at the top of the board, which name would be at the head. Did it still matter? Yes, it probably did, or it didn't. Did you want it to matter? Probably not. But did your mind keep wandering? Endlessly.
What if Viktor was still number one - would you be disappointed? What if you were number one - would you be satisfied? And if neither he nor you were number one, would you be revolted?
“Look who it is!”
That voice alone was enough to make you frown, raise your eyebrows and lower your eyelids in boredom.
Tyler.
You turned to him for a moment, him seeming pleased that you responded to his voice as you rolled your eyes and sighed.
“What do you want, blondie? Searching for a new name on the boards to torment?”
He chuckled, stepping toward you. “You don't change a winning team, darling. Have you found your place at the very bottom of the ranking?”
It was your turn to chuckle, turning to face him. He had no idea about your academic results, it seemed. 
“Tyler you have as many neurons as you have eyes, and they're both fighting for any kind of connection.” You turned to the bulletin board, stepping forward slightly. “Do them mercy and close your eyelids for all eternity before we have to deal with a rain of fire and the horsemen and...”
But you didn't even finish your sentence, the words dying on your lips as your eyes came to rest on your name.
First place.
You were back in first place. Eyes and mouth wide open, you kept blinking to make sure your vision wasn't failing you. And the name underneath... 
Viktor.
Your scores were almost equal, yours barely beating him.
“Told you I wasn't going to hold back.”
You turned towards the voice, the tinkle you now knew too well of his cane echoing on the floor. He stood there, serene, a small smile on his face before his lips pressed into an inverted grin and his eyebrows raised.
“You fight well, Miss.”
You couldn't help it - you cracked a smile at him. And Viktor seemed astonished, as if he'd never seen such a thing happen. No stupid remark, no pettiness behind your drawn lips, just sincere amusement and joy.
“What the...” Tyler's voice died in his throat as he took in the bulletin boards, turning to you. “How did you...”
You turned to him, his sole presence now not even enough to ruin your happiness and relief. “As if you could reach me,” you replied with a triumphant smile, walking out of the crowd to join Viktor.
Once you got away from all this tumult, he nodded. “You got first,” he remarked, “congratulations.”
You observed him for a second, his posture reflecting a sort of disappointment. Was it from losing? Or was it from the fact you seemed so happy in your rivalry with him? You sighed, rolling your eyes.
“Quit it,” you pronounced with a smile, shaking your head slightly. “We share this crown, and you perfectly know that.”
He said nothing, just gazing at you for a moment. There was this gleam, the tickling of a smile ready to be born on his lips as the satisfaction that, maybe, these ink duels you were both fencing would wash away and let something different be born from them. 
He was apprehensive about saying something, but Jayce came towards you both.
“Ah, Jayce, exams went well?” You asked, knowing without a doubt that he didn't have to worry about his results.
“Oh yeah, perfect.” He nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line, his eyes darting from yours to Viktor's, surprised that you weren't quarrelling. “Say, hum... can I talk to you guys for a minute?” 
Viktor and you exchanged a confused look, before ultimately following him.
“A masquerade?” you repeated, as if the word had never grazed your lips before.
Jayce had brought you to a room in the Academy where you could all talk without hearing the multiple cries of students as to their result. And considering what he had to discuss with you, he'd done the right thing.
“It's this thing Mel is invited to,” he explained nervously. “All the people of high aristocracy will be there, counselors, lords and ladies... Please, can you both accompany me to it?”
“As your dance partners?” joked Viktor, frowning.
“No, Mel's already my partner. But, she said that there would be no opposition for you both to come as well. You're the,” he seemed to search for words for a moment, ”croom dé la cram?”
“Crême de la crême?” you suggested.
He pointed at you, glad you understood. “Yeah, that. La crême de la crême of the Academy. Such prestigious students as the both of you sharing the top of the board deserve to be in such an event.”
“So you want us,” you pointed repeatedly between Viktor and yourself, ”to come to this event because you're too nervous to go there by yourself?”
The interested party scratched the back of his neck, sniffling before looking at you both with puppy-dog eyes. “Yeah?”
“Aren't you supposed to have a partner to come to a masquerade?” Interrogated Viktor.
“I thought you two could... go together?”
You chuckled, your mouth hanging open. You exchanged a bewildered look with Viktor, who didn't seem to be too upset by the concept.
“You're joking, right?” you asked.
“Please just-” he didn't finish his sentence, “put your bickering aside for one evening. You don't even have to show up together if it suits you better.”
“I don't see any problems with it,” Viktor shrugged, indifferent. “When is it?”
"Tomorrow night."
“Tomorrow night?” You exclaimed. “Jayce, if it's a society gala, I've got nothing to wear.”
He reached into his own wallet, pulled out some bills and handed them to you.
“Here, I'm sure you'll find something convenient with this.”
“Jayce,” you remarked, looking at the fresh bills, “what the hell.”
“This is not much for you to get a decent gown for the gala. Keep the rest, if there is any, to get some fancy accessories.” He grabbed your hand, placing the cash in it. “Truly, this is the least I can do.”
You knew Jayce's patrons were the Kiramman’s, but to have money to give away like this? Since when was that the case?
“Vik, I think it's time for us to go.” Jayce finally remarked before leaving the room, leaving the two of you.
You both stayed in silence for a moment, both digesting the information that had just been given to you.
“What a way to celebrate your victory,” Viktor finally sighed.
“I've seen worse celebrations than a masquerade,” you remarked, observing the tickets for a moment before folding them up, “but I think I've had better experiences than being in a room with nobility sipping glasses of champagne with petty innuendo in every exchange.”
He huffed in turn. “I suppose the next area in which we must excel in no time is the art of conversation in high society. Although, considering our usual conversation,” he leaned his head to the side with a smirk, "we'll fit right in."
“How exciting,” you raised your eyebrows sarcastically, letting silence take its rule back on the room before you finally decided to break it. ”Guess I better go and find myself something to wear. See you tomorrow, Viktor.” 
“Wait,” he called to you, seeming hesitant about what he was going to suggest, ”would you like us to get together first and go? Or...”
“Let's meet directly at the party,” you assured him.
He nodded, his lips pressing in a thin line as you turned away. “Oh and...” you turned back to him at his words, his eyes piercing. “Don't forget the mask.”
You nodded, leaving the room.
You had today and tomorrow to find an outfit, and get used to the fact that Viktor was no longer a threat to be eliminated. Easier said than done. 
But still… What a way to celebrate a rebirth.
✦﹒ previous chapter ✦﹒ next chapter
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blissfullsvn · 3 days ago
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if i say, i love you
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summary. after a long day, all you really want is to be in taesan’s arms.
pairing. han taesan x reader genre. fluff, established relationship word count. 0.9k warnings. n/a a/n. fun fact: this wasn’t the original taesan fic i wanted to post for his bday bcs stms it’s easier to write sth in 3 hrs than finish a draft you’ve had for the past 5 months 👩‍🦯 but as always, please enjoy this, and i hope everyone gets to have their own taesan in their lives :) masterlist
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you and taesan have never been overly touchy with each other. it’s not that you both dislike physical touch; you just tend to express your feelings more often through quiet moments spent together.
today, however, you need taesan more than ever.
you trudge inside your shared apartment, your body feeling unbearably heavy. taesan is sitting on the sofa with headphones and his ipad propped up on his knees, a contemplative look on his face. it’s a familiar sight, one that occurs whenever a new idea for a composition strikes in his head and he has to record it down immediately, so you usually leave him alone to not disrupt his creative process.
seeing this, you force yourself to stand by the door, hoping for at least a greeting before you can retreat inside your room—if your boyfriend was busy, you’d rather break down without him seeing.
almost immediately, taesan looks up and smiles, the kind where his eyes are squeezed into crescents and whiskers appear under them. but when he finally sees you, he instantly plants his feet on the floor, setting his ipad aside and ripping off his headphones.
“y/n?” his voice is soft and gentle. he always treats you like a delicate flower; it makes you feel like you can fall apart in his presence and he’ll be there to pick up your pieces.
“y/n,” he calls again, and he’s about to get up before you briskly walk towards him and all but jump on him.
with your knees on either side of him, you wrap your arms around his neck and drop your head on his shoulder. noticeably, taesan tenses at the uncharted touch, and a moment of hesitation lingers. but his arms quickly shoot up to envelop you, hands resting firmly on either side of your torso as he holds you tightly against himself.
he remains silent, letting you take in his warmth as he gently caresses your back. you nuzzle against his neck, wanting to get as close to him as you can. despite his surprise at your touch, he doesn’t make it known and mirrors your actions, nosing your collarbone as he pulls you even closer.
you thought you would break into tears immediately in his arms, but the more you lean into his touch, the more you feel your weariness dissipate, until the huge lump in your throat eventually melts as well.
sensing your breathing calm down and your body turning lax against his, he places a kiss on your neck and whispers against your skin: “i’m here.” it’s a simple declaration; two words that neither push you to speak nor stop you from sharing, but just to remind you that, whatever it is, he’s always by your side.
“i… had a bad day today,” you begin, and taesan’s hold on you never once falters. as you tell him about what happened, his fingers continuously draw idle circles on your back, and he hums softly to reassure you that he’s listening.
“how do you feel now?” taesan, gentle as ever, asks after you stop talking.
“...a lot better,” you confess and nuzzle against his neck again, landing a peck there to emphasize your point.
“i’m glad.” the smile is evident from his voice alone, even if you can’t see his face.
a few more moments of silence pass between you, the two of you simply relishing each other’s company. it’s only when you catch taesan’s ipad light up with a notification from your peripheral vision that you remember what he had been doing before your almost-break-down.
you pull yourself away, but your hands remain on his shoulders, as do his on your waist. “you were composing something before this, right?” your eyebrows are knitted in guilt, lips jutting out similarly. “sorry, i didn’t mean to interrupt you… you can continue now.”
“no, don’t apologise,” taesan replies immediately, shaking his head. he reaches up to tuck your hair behind your ears and smiles, fondness seeping from every pore, “i’ll always put you before anything else.”
it’s strange how the emotions you initially expected to spill over from your negative experiences today are now threatening to escape from these seven words instead. with the lump returning to your throat once again, you don’t trust your voice to speak.
instead, you move your hands to cup his face and lean down to place your lips on his, letting your body do the talking instead.
with every movement, your feelings translate from your heart to his. his grip on your waist tightens as he cranes his neck to capture more and more of these feelings, until both of you are rendered breathless from all the emotions filling your bodies, squeezing around your ribs, your lungs, and your hearts.
when you pull away, the dazed look on taesan is something that you want to carve into your mind forever. for someone who’s never uncomposed, the fact that he’s been rendered like this, and because of you, makes your insides twist with something far greater than you can explain.
“i love you.”
for now, you’ll settle with the word ‘love.’
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mathsbian · 20 hours ago
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Also a lot of schools have other kinds of free tutoring available as well, you don’t need to ask ChatGPT how to do your calculus homework because 1. It doesn’t know, it was trained to pair words together not do math (use Wolfram Alpha instead to check your answers) and 2. You can get help from someone who is getting paid to help you but that you don’t have to pay for and you will come away actually having a better understanding of the topic you are learning about.
Writing papers is teaching you to formulate arguments and how to support them properly.
Math homework is drilling skills and techniques into you.
Programming assignments are teaching you to think like a computer and preparing you for when you get a job and get assigned a very specific corner of a big project.
Labs and science homework are preparing you for lab work (duh…) and reviewing other people’s research.
And I genuinely think, as a person who got degrees in math and computer science, that it’s really important to learn how to write an argumentative paper. It teaches you so much about how other people are writing their blog posts and papers and articles and whatnot. It teaches you that you can certainly find individual quotes from things supporting your thesis, even if the whole thing maybe doesn’t (check sources for information you are being given, maybe the source doesn’t actually say what they’re arguing it does?). It teaches you that, when you have to find sources to argue against, that you can find sources that are very easy to argue with (is this video essayist actually arguing with the best version of the other side of this debate? Or is it just the stuff easiest to argue with?). It teaches you how to think critically about the things you are reading and what they are saying (because for a while a lot of what you were reading was being analyzed as a potential supporting source). Value the time you have being guided through this process.
chatgpt is the coward's way out. if you have a paper due in 40 minutes you should be chugging six energy drinks, blasting frantic circus music so loud you shatter an eardrum, and typing the most dogshit essay mankind has ever seen with your own carpel tunnel laden hands
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selfcarecap · 2 days ago
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Dear Santa
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✧ Logan Howlett x female!reader x Wade Wilson
✧ summary: Your best friend and roommate Wade is a little lonely over the holidays, third-wheeling with you and Logan the entire time. But the holidays are all about giving, so you and Logan decide to fulfil some of the more sexual wishes on Wade’s wishlist. Or: You have a threesome with Logan and Wade.
✧ warnings: smut 18+ (oral sex, piv sex, cum eating, frotting kinda, liittle bit of ass eating (f rec); deffffinitely attraction between Wade and Logan but the focus is on the reader), Christmas mention (just for the seasonal vibes, not the religion obv. wanted to make it neutral originally but sorry I needed Christmas vibes specifically!!), this is my first time writing Wade beyond a few lines, idk if I did him justice but either way this was so fun to write!
gorgeous dividers by @dollywons <3
✧ word count: 4.7k
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Wade Wilson likes to flirt. That’s no secret. 
But he’s been even more flirty recently, in the weeks leading up to the winter holidays. In fact, he’s been so flirty that you had to check in with your boyfriend Logan to make sure that he doesn’t mind. 
And no, Logan doesn’t mind. If anything, he enjoys watching how Wade makes you squirm with the sexual remarks that you have to pretend are below your level but you actually quite enjoy. 
It started when you bought yourself some cute Christmas pyjamas, pink and with a cheesy pattern on them. 
“You look so cute, I could just eat you out,” Wade said as soon as he saw you in it. 
You sat down between him and Logan on the sofa, ready for your first December movie night, and you shared an unsure look with your boyfriend. 
“Don’t you mean you could just eat her up?” Logan asked, an eyebrow raised. 
Wade considered it for a moment. “Hmm, no. I said the right thing.”
You spent the rest of the night flustered, leaning into Logan and hiding your face in his neck as deeply as you could. 
-
The next time it happens is when you get out of the car after buying some festive decorations for your shared apartment with Wade. 
You’re getting the shopping bags from the back when you notice him still in the driver’s seat, leaning over to inspect the place you were just sitting. 
“What are you doing?” you ask Wade, cheeks heating up. 
“I was just checking if you were sitting in a pile of sugar, cause that ass is looking sweet.”
-
“You know why they call me Wilson?” he asks you over breakfast one time. 
“Because that’s your last name?”
“No, because I will soon be between your legs.”
You take a bite of your food, humming, “That one still needs some work.”
Wade nods, “I know, still experimenting on the execution. Thanks for the feedback.”
-
“Does my tongue taste funny to you?”
You roll your eyes at Wade. “Ew.”
“No, I mean it, I think I’m having an allergic reaction. Can you at least look at it?”
“Oh!” you hurry towards him. 
-
“You know, baby angel,” he tells you one afternoon, “I think you’re the only one who can still be on Santa’s nice list despite being so naughty.”
Your eyebrows inch closer together, “How am I naughty?”
“Your bedroom is right next to mine, Miss likes-being-spanked.”
“Oh…” is all you manage to say. 
“But from what I hear in there you are a good girl, so that checks out with Santa’s nice list.”
-
It’s not strange per se that he’s acting this way, but it still makes more sense when you find Wade’s Christmas wishlist. 
You’re in his bedroom to get back a hoodie of yours that he borrowed ‘because it smells like you’ and he wanted to cuddle it while he sleeps. He said it so sweetly that you couldn’t say no, though you hope cuddling is really all he did to it. 
You find the piece of paper jammed between the bedframe and the mattress, and it only catches your eye because of the messy ‘Dear Santa’ scribbled at the top. 
Wade is always graphic, but reading his wishlist still makes a tingle run up your spine. All that’s on the list is things he wants to do with you and to you, all of sexual nature, of course. Logan is involved too. 
You read Wade’s wishes and get giddy, running to your bedroom to show Logan. 
You’ve been struggling to find a meaningful Christmas gift for Wade, so this is going to be perfect. Now all you have to do is wait for the next horny joke – and you’re sure that won’t be long.
-
It’s Christmas Eve and you and Logan are watching some show when Wade comes in. It’s toasty warm, the fairy lights reflecting on the tv screen during every dark scene. You’re sitting between Logan’s spread legs with your back against his chest.
Wade sits down next to you two, eyes glued to your legs, bare underneath an oversized graphic t-shirt. You give him a minute before he says something.
His words come three seconds later.
“If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?”
You lean to the side to glance up at Logan, who gives you a subtle nod. You settle back against his chest, “Sure.”
“Wait, what?” Wade’s jaw drops.
You giggle, humouring him, “What do you wanna do when you visit me between the holidays?”
He scrambles for an answer, still surprised at your words, “Since Logan is my little honey badger,” your boyfriend huffs from behind you, “and honey badgers are named after their favourite food, I wanna know if your honey is as sweet as I’ve imagined.”
You laugh but Logan grumbles, “If you wanna eat her pussy, just say that.”
Wade rolls his eyes, holding a hand to the side of his mouth, “Honey badgers are no fun,” he says to you, “But yes, I wanna eat your pussy.”
“Okay,” you say, smiling.
His eyes light up. “Okay? Like, you’re giving me your consent okay?” 
“Yes, Wade,” you giggle, watching him fall to his knees in front of the sofa as he gently pushes your legs apart. His fingers against your skin immediately make you feel warm.
Before Wade can get to your panties, Logan reaches around from behind you and pulls the hem of your shirt down, blocking Wade’s view. “Ah,” he chides, “No fucking manners. You kiss her first before you get between her legs.”
Wade doesn’t have to be told twice.
Your lips meet with a fervour exactly like you would expect from Wade. You figured he’s been lonely the last few weeks, single and alone while you and Logan are still in the honeymoon phase. You’re glad to provide some love for Wade. He deserves it.
While Wade almost bites your face off, Logan’s hands find your hips, gently circling the skin there, and you can practically feel the heat from your underwear radiating in the little space between you.
Logan knows your body so well by now that he can tell immediately when you’re getting needy. He reaches around you, taking hold of Wade’s jaw, interrupting the kiss.
“Now,” Logan commands.
“Don’t boss me around, the only one who can boss me around is this little thing,” Wade’s hand trails up your knee. You giggle, trying to suppress the moan you want to let out.
You spread your legs for Wade as he gets back on the carpeted floor, hands smoothing up your legs, playing with the hem of your panties. You want to tell him to stop teasing, the butterflies in your stomach almost too much to bear.
He laughs, “Oh, who am I kidding? I don’t have the self control to tease you like this.”
You lift your hips for Wade to pull your panties all the way down your legs, grateful that he doesn’t comment on how wet they already are. You don’t comment on how he stuffs them in his pocket.
Logan helps Wade spread your legs further, two sets of strong hands digging into the flesh of your thighs. You’re getting wetter by the second.
“This is even better than seeing Hugh Jackman oiled up and shirtless with ‘Like a Prayer’ playing,” Wade says when he sees your pussy.
“What?”
“Huge who?”
Wade ignores the questions. “God,” he whispers, leaning in to press a kiss to your clit, and you resist the urge of your legs to weakly fall shut from the pleasure.
He takes his time with you, eating your pussy like a five course meal, making out with it like he never wants it to end. Wade moans against your skin even more than you moan from the pleasure.
He fucks you with one finger, then two, while he licks your clit, but it’s still not enough. Luckily, your boyfriend recognises your need.
“Quit squirming, will ya? So needy,” Logan scoffs, lifting your hips off him for a moment to pull down his sweats, taking out his hard cock. You give him a desperate nod before he can even ask anything, and Wade helps position you so that Logan can slowly sit you down on his dick, all three of you sighing in pleasure as he bottoms out.
“Mhmm, good girl. Much better. Was startin’ to get cold anyway.”
You nod mindlessly, pussy already pulsing around your boyfriend. 
“So fucking pretty,” Wade mumbles. He licks your clit, your pussy stuffed full with Logan’s dick.
Logan lifts your shirt over your head, discarding it in a corner of the sofa, playing with your tits from behind you. Wade looks up at your chest, tongue on your puffy clit, and moans so hard his eyes almost roll back. He brings a hand up to squeeze your tit, leaving his hand there.
“You close, baby?” Logan asks, able to feel your every squeeze around his cock, and you nod, grabbing his knee for support.
“Yeah, pretty girl, cum for us,” Wade parts with your pussy for just a split second to say this. Logan’s hand comes down from your boob to gently press down on the space between your abdomen and your pussy, and you feel everything three times more intensely.
Wade begins to suck on your clit, and that’s your undoing. You whimper as you try to fuck yourself on your boyfriend’s big cock just a little bit, squeezing around him, as Wade sloppily licks your clit to draw out your orgasm.
All of Logan’s willpower trying not to cum flows into your hips as he grabs you there. You feel a warm load of precum in your pussy, but he manages to resist the urge to cum, pulling you up and off his dick as soon as you stop pulsing with the aftershocks.
All three of you are out of breath. Logan turns you towards him to press a big kiss to your mouth, pinching your cheek, “You really needed to cum, hm? Did so well.”
“That’s three Michelin stars right there,” Wade says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and licking it afterwards.
You blink at Wade.
“Exceptional cuisine, worth a special journey?” he offers. 
“Michelin? I knew that guy…” Logan says, shaking his head a moment later, “You wanna keep going?”
You nod eagerly.
Your boyfriend smirks, “Let’s see if Wade can make you cum too.”
Wade puts a hand on his chest as he stands back up, hard dick tenting his sweatpants, “Je m’excuse. Were you not just there for me licking her pretty pussy until she came?”
Logan shrugs, “I was the one inside her, bub.”
Wade huffs, “That’s not how it works and you know it.”
You smile, pulling Wade’s face closer to kiss him again.
“Can I fuck you?” he asks in between kisses.
“Yes, but not yet.”
Logan completes your thought, “Not before I cum in her.” You smile at his possessiveness.
Wade puts his hands on his face, “Woah, wait. Did you two plan this? That’s so hot.”
You’re already on all fours, Logan getting on his knees behind you, rubbing his cock between your pussy lips. You sigh in pleasure, pawing at Wade’s sweatpants and pulling him to the sofa by the drawstrings.
He moans, pushing his sweats down and getting in front of you, “Well, merry fucking christmas to me.”
You kiss Wade by his hips and support yourself with a hand on his thigh. He gets the tiniest little bit harder, a brief flex of his dick, now fully hard. A drop of precum drips down, and you only just catch it with your palm before it lands on the sofa. 
Logan smiles behind you, “Can’t have him ruinin’ the sofa, hm, baby?”
You nod lazily, and look up at Wade, “Can I?”
“Holy shit, baby, of course you can.” Wade looks you right in the eyes when you open your mouth to take the head of his cock past your lips, moaning when you taste him.
Logan begins to fuck you at the same time, slowly at first. You suck Wade’s dick in the rhythm of Logan’s thrusts, slow but firm, that move you forward a little bit every time. Somehow, you manage to still look up at Wade with a little fucked out look in your eyes as your boyfriend fucks your wet pussy just how you like it.
“Such a good girl, baby,” Logan mumbles, “taking us both so well.”
Wade stutters “Yeah, yeahh, knew this would feel good but,” he needs a second to recalibrate when you move your head down to lick his balls, heavy cock falling against your cheek, spilling precum. Wade’s eyes fall shut as his head drops back.
He continues after a few moments, “but this feels like heaven.”
When you move back to his dick and take him into your mouth all wetly, Wade cums instantly. The pleasure of having him pulsing against your tongue and his cum spilling down your throat makes you clench around Logan’s cock so hard that he moans. 
“Yeah, baby, cum for me,” Logan sneaks a hand around your hip to play with your clit, and with Wade’s dick still throbbing against your tongue, you cum too. You feel Logan letting go, fucking his cum into your pussy that’s squeezing him with the pulse of your orgasm.
 You all come down from your shared high giddy and giggling, Wade’s hand smoothing over your cheek, Logan’s hand soothingly running down your spine.
Wade’s dick, still hard, flexes in front of your face when you look at him, sticking out your tongue, his creamy cum covering it. “Saved you some,” you say carefully, making sure to not let any of it spill from your mouth.
“You’re perfect,” he groans, bending down to kiss you and messily make out. Some of his cum spills from between your mouths, dripping down your chest.
Logan manhandles you to turn you around onto your back, and you bounce a little when you land. Then he bends down to lick Wade’s cum off your chest in one broad lick. You’re too excited yourself to pay attention to Wade’s reaction. 
Logan moves to rest your head in his lap by his lower thighs, cock hard again and close to your face. He nods between your legs, telling Wade, “there you go. She’s wanted this for a long time”
Your head snaps straight up so that you’re looking at Logan, your gazes meeting. Your skin heats up all the way down to your chest and Logan smirks, “It’s okay, princess. This pussy’s still mine.” He reaches between your legs to deliver a gentle slap to your pussy, collecting some of his cum from inside you on his fingers, bringing them to your mouth. You suck them eagerly, and then sit up briefly to pull his face into a kiss.
“I love how we taste together,” you tell him.
Wade gets between your legs and tuts at Logan. “What an animal, doesn’t even clean up after himself,” he huffs and promptly licks your pussy. He smirks up at you and Logan, “I love how you two taste too.” 
“Need you to fuck me, Wade.”
“You have no idea how long I’ve dreamed of hearing those words. Fucked my fist listening to you fucking so many times, gave myself friction burn.”
You and Logan share a smile. You know this; he talks to himself while he’s jerking off – you’re not sure if he’s aware.
Wade lines his dick up with your pussy, pushing your legs up against your chest, teasingly slapping his cock against your clit until you’re squirming. When Wade fucks you, he fucks you slowly, tauntingly yet desperately.
Logan lazily plays with his cock, slapping it against your cheek and your tongue from time to time, your mouth eagerly chasing after him, but he’s just teasing you, wants you to focus on Wade.
“Doin’ such a good job, baby,” Logan says from above you, stroking his hand over your cheek.
“Thank you, peanut,” Wade says, eyes closed, thinking Logan is talking to him. You both let him remain in that belief. 
Wade is lost in the feeling of your warm, wet and tight pussy around his dick, languidly fucking you as your pussy starts to squeeze around him more and more as you get closer to your own orgasm.
“God baby, feels better than anything I’ve ever felt. Can’t last much longer”, Wade rasps, playing with your clit. But it’s messy, and Logan can tell it won’t be enough for you. He bats Wade’s hand away and circles your clit instead.
You cum before Wade, moaning as your pussy clenches around him, triggering his orgasm. Your back arches as pleasure flows through your belly and spreads throughout your whole body, Wade’s hips desperately chasing to keep that heavenly feeling until he stills inside you while he’s bottomed out.
“Still haven’t made her cum,” Logan says, with a teasing smile.
Wade looks up, “I was the one inside of her, bub.”
You roll your eyes at their teasing each other, but you don’t care as long as it’s about your pleasure. You don’t care who made you cum.
“Bend over for me, baby,” Wade says, pulling out, “wanna see if that ass is really made of sugar.”
You laugh as you get on all fours, Wade pulling your hips in place. He bends down and licks your pussy where he just came in you, swallowing some of his cum. 
Then, he grabs your ass so hard your cheeks spread. Wade licks around your tight hole, and you wrap your hand around your boyfriend’s hard dick. Logan bends down to give you a kiss, and you moan into his mouth as the tip of Wade’s tongue pushes inside you.
You can’t deny that it feels good but you’ve never let Logan’s mouth stay near your ass long either. You squirm so that Wade moves away from your hips, and he gives you ass a teasing slap as he sits back up.
“Definitely made out of sugar,” he concludes.
Just when Wade is about to stand up, some more of his cum drips out of your pussy as you involuntarily clench around nothing, and he stuffs his face back between your legs. He sits back up with cum in his mouth, ready to kiss you, but you shake your head, looking up at Logan.
Your boyfriend pretends to be unaffected, but you can see behind it.
“Can he?” you ask Logan, and he agrees to it. You grab his jaw and open his mouth manually, biting your lip as you look at Wade. Logan’s skin is hot under your touch.
“Here you go, open up,” you beam at Logan, watching as Wade holds his jaw all tenderly, spitting his own cum into Logan’s mouth. You hold your breath as you wait for them to kiss, but the moment doesn’t come.
You visibly pout when they pull away without making out.
“I know, sugar bear, me too, but Peanut’s not ready yet,” Wade shrugs.
You press a quick kiss of encouragement to Logan’s lips, and he and Wade are on you again within the second, but you need a break after your orgasms. But that little exchange, their lips almost close enough to kiss, turned you on so much that you want to see more of them.
You tell them to sit together, facing each other, as close as they can. Their muscular thighs are tangled around each other’s hips, Logan’s leg resting over Wade’s on one side, vice versa on the other one. Their dicks are close enough to touch with just a little bit of assistance.
“Can I?” you ask, kneeling in front of the sofa.
“Can you what, princess?” Logan bites his lip.
“Rub your dicks together?”
“Yeah, but come here. Don’t wanna see the face it’s attached to.” Logan lies down and lifts you on top of him, your pussy in his face and your upper body by their pushed together crotches.
“Oh pfft, you know you love it,” Wade comments.
“He does,” you kiss him for reassurance. Logan is obviously into Wade, he just hasn’t admitted that to himself yet.
Logan begins to lick at your pussy, tongue playing with your clit. “Don’t. Can’t focus,” you warn with a teasing smile.
“Sorry, couldn’t help myself.”
You wrap one hand each around their cocks, just jerking them off for a few moments.
“Don’t make it so suspenseful, sugar bear, or I’ll cum from the anticipation alone.”
“Would that be a bad thing?” you shrug with one shoulder, smiling down at their throbbing dicks in your hands.
As much as you’d love to see Wade cumming all over himself before you’ve even started, you have other plans. You let some of your spit drip down over their tips, jacking them off a bit faster, hearing their breaths stutter.
“Peanut, you’re really missing out not being able to see her. She’s so gorgeous.”
“I know she is, Wade.”
You smile at their compliments, lowering your head to trail your tongue between their cocks, paying more attention to your boyfriend first, then to Wade. They taste of your pussy and their precum, wetting your tongue with their taste.
Playing with them for a bit, you rub their dicks together, jerking them off at the same time.
“You need some assistance?” Wade asks, sitting up more and moving his hips. All you have to do is hold your boyfriend’s dick in place as Wade grinds against him, rubbing his cock against Logan’s for a few moments.
“God that feels good, wanna cum,” Wade groans.
“Off,” you tell him, smiling when his hips still in defeat. You tease them both a little longer, rubbing their tips together until their precum mixes and they’re both close, but you don’t let them cum. 
You get off them, telling them to stand up while you sit on the sofa facing them, leaning back a little.
“Which one of you wants to cum on me first?” you ask, voice sweet and angelic. 
They both start jerking off immediately, and you almost drool at having these two tall, muscular men stroking their dicks right in front of you – and for you – fighting over who gets to drain their balls for you first.
It’s Wade who cums first, a string of obscenities leaving his mouth as he jerks his dick to orgasm, painting your stomach white with his cum. Logan isn’t far behind, telling you what a pretty girl you are as he cums over your belly and tits. Their cum mixes, and it becomes impossible to tell whose cum landed where.
You sit up to lick your boyfriend’s dick clean, then Wade’s, then you lie back, puffing out your chest.
“Can one of you get wipes to clean me?” you ask innocently, knowing exactly that’s not what they’re going to do. They get to their knees simultaneously, starting to lick their cum off you, licking you clean.
They sit down next to you afterwards, you sandwiched between them. They lift one leg of yours each over their lap, touching you all over, putting their hands between your legs.
“Such a good girl for us, hm?” Wade says.
Your boyfriend agrees. “Did such a good job, baby.”
“You wanna cum again? Wanna cum for Logan and me?”
You nod lazily, all blissed out already, “yes please.” Your eyes fall shut at how good it feels, and at some point you can barely tell who is kissing you, whose hand it is playing with your nipples, or whose fingers are inside your wet pussy.
You cum for them, clenching hard around the fingers inside your pussy as another hand grabs at your knee to keep your legs apart. When you open your eyes again after a few moments, both men are looking at you lovingly, and it’s Logan who slowly pulls his fingers out of your pussy, delivering a few gentle, smoothing circles over your clit.
You grab his wrist to bring his fingers up to your face, looking him in the eyes, at how they light up when you suck his fingers into your mouth to taste yourself, no matter how often he’s seen you do it.
“You’re such a lucky bastard, honey badger,” Wade smiles, leaning his head against the back of the sofa.
You innocently smile at Wade, “I’d say I’m quite lucky too.”
-
You end up cuddling in your and Logan’s shared bed, all fucked out of your minds, freshly showered but exhausted to bits. 
“All in all, a successful Christmas Eve,” Wade says, making you giggle.
You force yourself from your warm and cozy position between them when you remember Wade’s list, grabbing it off your bedside table, along with a pen.
Wade’s cheeks redden in recognition at the piece of paper, “You found that? That was just me writing fanfiction before bed one night.”
“We wanted to give you a nice gift,” Logan grumbles.
“Yeah,” you agree, “We didn’t want you to feel like you were third-wheeling all throughout the holidays.”
Wade smiles one of his sweet smiles, “Thank you, guys. You’ve made this little guy,” he points at his face, “and especially this big guy,” he points at his crotch, “very happy.”
“Let’s see if you got all your wishes.”
Dear Santa,
I’ve been an exceptionally good boy this year, my kill count is at a measly 34. I think I deserve a few things. Here are my wishes for Christmas this year:
- Eat out Logan’s girlfriend
“You know she has a name, right?” Logan huffs.
“Of course, but the writer didn’t want to have to use the dreaded y slash n.”
“What?” you cringe.
“Nothing, keep reading.” 
- Eat my or Logan’s cum out of her pussy
- Sword-fighting with Logan while his girlfriend supervises
- Cum eating contest off her body with Logan 
- Cuddle with them
“What genius came up with this?” Wade grins.
“We had to do some interpreting, but we got everything, right?”
Surprisingly, it’s Logan who points at the last wish, “We haven’t done that one yet.”
“Yippie!” Wade claps, “cuddle wuddle time.”
“Nevermind,” Logan says, ready to get up and sleep on the sofa, but you pull him back by the wrist, giggling.
You switch off the lights, putting Wade’s wishlist away – all wishes checked off.
Logan moves closer to you, pressing his chest against your back to cuddle, giving you a loving kiss before lying down.
“I love you, princess.”
“I love you too.”
You let Wade snuggle up to you as the little spoon, draping your arm over his chest, and he holds onto your wrist with a warm hand.
“You made me a very happy Christmas boy, you know that?”
You laugh, “We love you, Wade.”
“I love you too,” he says, and lies his head down on the pillow. You kiss the side of his head before you pull the blanket over yourself.
“Merry Christmas, Wade.”
Just as you’re about to fall asleep a while later, you hear Wade’s voice:
“You know that means Santa’s real, right?”
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P.S. Thank you so much for reading <3 Let me know what you liked and reblog to get on Wade’s and Logan’s nice list 🤭😇 and Merry Christmas!!! <3
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chanelnumbermine · 3 days ago
Text
2024 f2 boys when someone else compliments you | f2 grid picks x gn!reader
since u liked the previous part so much, i decided to write a little more and added franquito! he has a special place in my heart after this season (mentally i’m still in imola sprint). i’m very open to learn about more drivers and add them to the list! have a nice read!
pairing(s): ollie bearman x gn!reader, kimi antonelli x gn!reader, zane maloney x gn!reader, paul aron x gn!reader, pepe marti x gn!reader, luke browning x gn!reader, franco colapinto x gn!reader;
warning(s): itty bitty possessive behaviour, mostly cuteness!!
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ollie bearman | prema —> haas f1
squeezes your hand and smiled politely
"thank you. they really do light up every room."
he says dryly and tries to shrug off this weird feeling in his chest
becomes a little stiff and after a while he asks
“do random people compliment you like that often?”
you shrug and smirk, seeing he’s a little jealous
“they were right, you look stunning. i should say that more often”
andrea kimi antonelli | prema —> mercedes amg pertronas
he’s already a little flustered because you came over to see his family
you click with them instantly
"uh, thanks mom. i say it every day."
to him you’re the sweetest prettiest person ever and he sometimes forgets that other people can also see that
it’s just hard to remember about the whole world when he’s in your presence
you’re his and he’s fully yours, and he’ll spend the rest of the day clinging to you
he’s nott that good with words, but very good at making you feel loved
paul aron | hitech —> bwt alpine reserve driver
i bet it was one of your friends who complimented you
and paul? tries to outdo the other person with compliments
"you're not just radiant, darling, you look literally ethereal. you know, your eyes ere like the moon. so big and shiny."
thinks he's smooth
he's not
but he's adorable as hell, grinning like and idiot and spewing nonsense just to make you laugh
you'd have to kiss him to shut him up
“i was supposed to make you blush, not the other way around…”
zane maloney | rodin —> formula e
awkward as hell
could be even a little insecure
why would anyone dare compliment you? do they think they have a chance with you?
he tries not to show it, but is not good at it
"aww, are you pouting?" you teased him
he chuckled and scratched the back of his neck nervously
"what, me? you're seeing things"
please reassure him!! he’s the sweetest bunny
pepe marti | campos, red bull academy
"yeah, of course my baby looks beautiful tonight."
goes full on protective mode
could become sarcastic, maybe even passive-aggressive
"i knew this day would come. i have to fend off other admirers."
you laugh and poke his arm
"must be so hard having a beautiful partner, huh?"
huffs playfully and kisses your forehead
luke browning | hitech —> f2
he was joking around with his friends when one of them made an innocent cute comment about your looks
“i know, right? they make me look better just standing next to me”
tries to divert the attention from you
on the outside he seems quite normal, but inside he’s seething with jealousy
like, why would anyone feel the need to point out the obvious???
sneaks his arm around your waist
peppers your face with kisses when you have a little time alone
franco colapinto | mp —> williams racing
whatever the circumstances, he goes into full yapping mode
franco takes seizes every opportunity to brag about who he managed to pull
"right!! you see, mom, they bake the best cookies. one time, when we were in madrid, we ate those cinnamon buns i like so much and..."
he just wants everyone to know you're the best person he's ever had the privilege to meet
he wants to share all the best memories with his family! and has no filter
"no, sis, we weren’t drunk that much… oh, you’re totally right amor, we were, sorry”
the compliments are flowing from both sides, its very natural and franqui doesn’t get worked up at all
masterlist
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quadrantadvisor · 2 days ago
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DP x DC, revenant!Jason Todd
Shortly after meeting, Danny and Jason have a late night conversation about what it means to come back. 1281 words
On AO3
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Danny woke groggily, in a dark place that he didn't recognize, and took a moment to get his bearings.
He felt the warning ache in his neck that came from being propped up against an arm rest. There were two sources of dim light in the room—the glow of city street lights, muffled behind a curtain, and the green eyes of the man whose lap Danny's feet were propped on.
Right. Danny hadn’t meant to fall asleep on the revenant’s—on Jason’s—couch, but they’d been talking for so long, he must’ve dozed off.
Jason had had so many questions, about ectoplasm, about the zone, about Danny’s own experiences. Danny had done his best to clear up everything he could. A revenant may not be quite the same as he was, but still, it made Danny happy to be able to pass on his hard won knowledge and maybe save someone else a bit of the hurt and confusion that he’d gone through. It was what he’d always wished someone would do for him.
Jason was slumped into the couch, but he didn’t look relaxed. Danny examined his still profile, cast in strange shadows by its own green glow, and wondered how long it had been since he’d moved.
Danny shifted slightly, purposefully producing the fabric sounds of a body against upholstery, to make sure Jason knew he was awake. No reaction. Danny gave him one more moment, then asked, “You okay?”
Jason didn’t look at him when he answered, “You told me I’m basically possessing my own corpse, and I’m supposed to not be upset about that?”
Really, Danny should’ve predicted something like that. How long had he spent, trying to pretend that death hadn’t really touched him? It wasn’t an easy thing to accept.
“What’s the difference between a body and a corpse?” Danny asked.
Jason’s eyes snapped to Danny, their glow intensifying. “I am not dealing with riddle bullshit right now, I swear to-”
“No, I’m being serious,” Danny interrupted, pulling his feet from Jason’s lap and sitting himself up. “There’s one difference between a corpse and a living body, and that’s that someone is living in it. Jason—” he reached out, gripping one of Jason’s hands in his “—you’re alive. That’s what matters. The rest is details.”
Jason’s shoulders bent inwards, his other hand raising to rub at his chest. “You don’t get it,” he said, quiet. “People don’t just come back from what they did to me. It doesn’t make any sense.”
“However you died, it’s not-”
Jason huffed an ugly sound, a short and bitter laugh that Danny hurt to hear. “Is it crazy that that isn’t even what I was talking about? I meant after.” The motion on his chest was repetitive, like he was tracing something underneath his shirt, and Danny got the sinking feeling that he knew just what sort of scar it might be. “I was gone, okay? I was gone, and this body was still here. And they took it, and they cut it open and rummaged around inside to figure out what happened. Which is—” he cut off, sniffed, and Danny gripped his hand tighter “—which is stupid, right? It’s not like it wasn’t obvious.” His fingers twitched, and he continued, haltingly, “I mean, I’ve read the report. Pulled it off his stupid files. The smoke inhalation did me in. After everything that happened, it was the smoke.”
Jasons’ hand pulled out of Danny’s, and they both rose to cover his face, cutting off the glow while he curled in on himself even tighter. His voice was slightly muffled when he said, “And then they had to ship me home, right? So they bled me dry and pumped me full of formaldehyde, and they prettied me up so they could pretend I wasn’t just some empty thing, and Bruce held the tiniest most depressing little funeral known to man and put my ass in the ground, and I had to wake up down there.” His words and his breaths were coming too quick, and Danny didn’t know how to help. He didn’t want Jason to stop, not when it seemed like he needed to say all of this, but he could see just how badly the revenant was hurting.
“But you did wake up,” he whispered.
“Woke up in my own mutilated corpse!” Jason snarled. “Everything I’ve forgotten, and that memory is still crystal fucking clear! It stank in there, like death and vinegar and mud, and it was so small, and I couldn’t even try to scream for help because they sewed my fucking mouth shut—!” He broke off into a sob, and Danny couldn’t stand it anymore, had to lean into Jason’s side and wrap an arm around him as he shook with all the emotion he couldn’t reign in.
“Okay,” Danny said. Not you’re okay, just okay. “Okay, so that’s the most horrible thing I’ve ever heard, and I regularly hang out with a guy who wants to skin me.”
Jason sniffed. “What?”
“Nevermind. It’s just-”
“No, I think we should go back to the skinning thing-”
“I just don’t want you to let it define you,” Danny interrupted. “I did that. I got into my head about it, the whole ‘being dead’ thing, feeling like I was…” Danny gave himself a second, swallowed, “like some sort of freak. A thing that didn’t belong anywhere. But I’m still alive, and you’re alive, and even if we weren’t, it wouldn’t matter, because we’re still here, and as long as you’re here you can find something that’s worth staying for.” Danny rubbed what he hoped was a soothing pattern into Jason’s admittedly impressive bicep.
Jason let out a sigh. “I must really be pathetic if you’ve gotta pep talk me like that, huh?” he said, and Danny pretended not to see him wiping at his eyes. “Sorry,” he added, “about all this. I’ve got some shit I haven’t dealt with, and this ‘revenant’ stuff brought it up pretty bad.”
“I get it,” Danny said, and hoped Jason could tell how much he meant it.
Jason sighed again, heavy, like he was trying to release something else with his breath, and said, “It still doesn’t make any sense. Logically, I can’t be alive. Where did my blood come from?”
Danny shrugged. “Do you have blood?”
“I definitely have blood. I’ve seen a lot of it.”
That gave Danny pause. “Just like, around?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Jason said, deadpan. “I’ve got a surplus, so I like to leave some here and there, make sure everyone gets a chance to appreciate it.”
“I have no idea how much you’re joking and it frightens me,” Danny told him.
“Weak,” Jason replied.
“Anyways, you gotta not think about it too much. The interdimensional goop is already logic-defying, and you’re mixing magic with it with your special soul willpower or something. Your brain will explode if you try to make it make sense.”
Jason huffed a little laugh, bouncing Danny on his shoulder, and this time it made him feel lighter. “Can I just say that I hate that I’m full of interdimensional goop?”
“Valid,” Danny said.
Even without looking at Jason, Danny could tell that he just rolled his eyes by the way the soft green light moved.
Danny had his ear pressed to Jason’s shoulder, feeling his warmth, and if he focused, he could just make out the revenant’s pulse. Personally, Danny thought it was pretty cool to be full of magic and goop and blood. Much cooler than Danny, who was way more science goop than magic goop. They’d have to compare notes on that sometime.
Maybe Jason would come around to it.
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cloverkel · 3 days ago
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I cannot with this. Most of this, and also in the anime, is orihime specifically having feelings for ichigo. All of the proof I see for ichigo, is him protecting her. But what people seem to forget is that he does this for everyone, hence the rescue arc for Rukia as one of the many examples. The reason that the plot focuses on his protective nature of Orihime, is that she cannot defend herself well up until later arcs, and in the arrancar arc she is quite literally kidnapped. The proof here is 1 of 2 things, Orihime having a crush on ichigo which is not reciprocated, or the fact she was kidnapped and ichigo and all of her friends came to save her specifically. All the instances in this post, and manga have explanations as to why ichigo is protective, and he would in fact do that for anyone one of his other friends as well. Just because ichihime is canon, does not mean it was well written. This does not mean, that it makes sense, or is realistic, or there is not better ships. If anything, I'd argue that it would make more sense if Ichigo did not have a love interest, as he barely showed interest in orihime, the person he literally married and had kids with, let alone the other options. Again, the reason he was protective of her during the arrancar arc, is because she was kidnapped. Other instances, are explained by the mere fact, that he would protect all of his friends. These actions are not mutually exclusive to orihime, nor romantic in nature besides her one sided feelings, as this one mean all his protective actions towards his friends would be romantic as well. It took up until nearly 400 episodes for them to get together, and even then it feels forced by the studio and producers rather than kubo himself (hence making them look like siblings in design choices and making other people actually interested in orihime, rather than ichigo). If you want to talk about the ulquiorra fight, the fight itself was rushed and ichigo, being the mc, had plot armor. Hence, his hollow form which is never seen again or barely addressed, despite killing ulquiorra who was said to be unkillable. Orihime was more used as a plot device rather than a love interest for most, if not all the show. The only time she had good or consistant writing, is the first season, where I feel her feelings make more sense and the ship would've been good if the show/manga didn't nuke her character and make her one-sided. The ship is one-sided for the entire animanga, and lacks nuance. There is a reason, a lot of the fandom dislikes the pairing, such as reasons previously stated, but also personal disappointment with what the ship could've been. Orihime could have been a really relatable and good character, although her writing slowly got muddled and she became just a love-astruck support character (i can explain this in more detail if needed).
Again, just because something is canon does not mean it is good. And ALL evidence supporting ichihime, is subjective to criticism, as from a writer's standpoint it is just poorly written, and could use A LOT of revision.
Why IchiHime was obvious as hell for endgame (regardless of the fandom’s denial about it)
–IH has been obvious since the pilot chapter. Ichigo and Orihime had mutual romantic feelings for each other in the bleach prototype, Kubo’s original plan for bleach. Here’s a post on it. –If you really, truly want to argue that Ichigo and Orihime “barely had any moments!” luckily, I was insane enough to create a masterpost with links to every single IH moment in the manga (which had to be split in half because it literally broke due to having too many links on it). Part One is here, Part Two is here. It has over 377 links. Say what you will, but IchiHime has the most moments and screentime of any other pairing by a landslide.
–The amount of focus that was put on Ichigo’s desire to protect Orihime specifically is MASSIVE. It was made more than apparent how much Ichigo cared about Orihime and how important she was to him, by the level of focus that was put on Ichigo’s protectiveness over her, specifically. It’s something that singled her out as special and set her apart from the others, time and time again. It was consistently emphasized in the manga, and, conversely, so too was Orihime’s desire to protect Ichigo specifically. Their mutual desires to protect each other was a recurring theme. I’ve made a masterpost on this too, which you can find here. Warning, it’s long. –Ichigo is open and receptive to Orihime’s displays of her feelings for him in positive ways. The fact that she cares about him so much doesn’t bother him in the slightest. In fact, he likes it. Here’s another link.
With that out of the way, let’s get to it
Keep reading
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uyuforu · 3 days ago
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MC Persona Chart Observations III
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All pictures are mine @uyuforu.
Other posts you could like:
જ⁀➴ Astro Observations X Career Edition
જ⁀➴ MC Persona Chart I
જ⁀➴ MC Persona Chart II
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ʚɞ Sun 7H usually indicates you"ll do a job in the creative field. If you also have Sun Leo 7H, you'll do a job in the movie field, you'll work for the cinema industry, or anything relating to acting and movie.
ʚɞ Moon 4H means you need to feel comfortable at work to work properly, you'll perhaps also want to work from home, or work with family? or work with people who feel like family, work in an environment where you trust people and know them already too perhaps.
ʚɞ Mercury 7H means you'll mostly talk about art, something creative at work. You can talk communicate well, nicely, and with fairness at work. You could also find way to make anything you write or create at work, like imagining, in a romantic or poetic style.
ʚɞ Venus 8H can mean you could be obsessed with your job, you could love it sometimes, but also hate it sometimes. It may depend a lot on a lot of circumstances. You could also like that what you do is "secretive", perhaps your work needs to stay hidden during the process, and you enjoy this.
ʚɞ Mars 5H means you can have a lot of imagination at work, a lot of creativity. Perhaps in your work, the one who comes with the most creative project "wins". It can also be a source of stress for you.
ʚɞ Jupiter 10H could mean you could gain a lot of popularity and reputation if you succeed in your job, perhaps even celebrity. You could eventually become famous at your job for your work.
ʚɞ Saturn 2H could mean there are obstacles in the stability of your work. It can be about your financial stability, but also in general. It's not the usual 9-5 job, it may be the kind that works while there is a project going on. It's considered unstable at least. You could also struggle with money somehow. Doesn't mean you gain nothing, it means that there may be a lot of deals with money as well and it's "complicated".
ʚɞ Pluto 10H means your reputation, popularity will drastically change because of your job.
ʚɞ Juno 9H can mean you could teach your FS a lot about your work, and they can also teach you some things about it. You could share ideas with them, talk about it with your work. They can also inspire you, like a muse. You could often be away from your spouse because of work.
ʚɞ Scorpio MC can mean you'll have a very deep and mysterious reputation at work. People can know you for your work yet not really know much about you personally. You could enjoy not being totally known, it gives a sense of mystery, and you could also keep some privacy this way.
ʚɞ Capricorn Rising means people can see you as someone who is in charge at work, someone who decides, someone who has responsibility. They can see you as cold, serious, and you could also expect a lot from others. They can also feel like you have some authority. People at work may respect you a lot.
ʚɞ Aquarius 2H means you'll gain a lot of original ideas from working, you could also gain online popularity, or meeting more friends as well. You could also gain a wider imagination.
ʚɞ Aries 3H can mean you can talk fast at work, you can also need to be the fastest, or think the fastest possible. People and you could talk in passionate way, you at least need to be passionate to do your job. Arguments can happen. People at work can often disagree or find themselves annoyed at unexpected problems.
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ʚɞ Taurus 5H means your job is creative indeed, and it can be more linked to art, beauty, anything that is considered beautiful, and in this case more "physically beautiful".
ʚɞ Gemini 6H means you'll work in a field where ideas, communications, thoughts, imagination, creativity, talking, singing, writing is important. Perhaps a work where you need a lot of ideas, a lot of thinking, and you could also need to have a lot of knowledge as well.
ʚɞ 1H Ruler in 2H means you could glow up during your career, you could also be seen as rich, or wealthy, more than what you are.
ʚɞ 7H Ruler in 4H can mean you can work or have contracts with your family. Sort of like a family business.
ʚɞ 3H Ruler in 5H can mean you'll def need to use your imagination at work, and you could often talk more about ideas, creative projects than anything else at work.
ʚɞ 5H Ruler in 8H means you could keep your creative ideas to yourself, as private, not spoiling anything to people outside the office, or the job. You could also be obsessed with finding ideas, constantly thinking of creative ideas.
ʚɞ 6H Ruler in 7H means you could work with different contracts, you could also have a job that required to have a project to continue working. When the project ends, the work is over as well.
ʚɞ 10H Ruler in 10H means your reputation at work is very important, having a good reputation at work is very crucial for you.
ʚɞ Chiron 8H means you job can be sometimes toxic for you, you could also be obsessed with your job and it can be too much sometimes. You may struggle from taking a break from it too.
ʚɞ Jupiter conjunct Part of Fortune means you have a lot of chances to eventually become famous because of your job. At least you'll attract good contracts and good things, good attention through your job.
ʚɞ Jupiter conjunct MC is very similar to the one above, but it def focus more on the popular/ famous part.
ʚɞ Mercury sextile Venus means you can often have romantic ideas in your job, or poetic, beautiful ideas. You could also work often with aesthetics, or making something look good, having to imagine something that looks beautiful or that sounds beautiful. If you write things, you could often focus on writing things that touch people.
ʚɞ Part of Fortune 9H means you could have a lot of foreign opportunities because of your job, you could also have a lot of opportunities to learn a lot of different things through your job.
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simpjaes · 20 hours ago
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✘ WIP DIARY ── LAST NIGHT, I READ YOUR DIARY. (p.sh) ✘
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Sunghoon has been trying be everything you need since your mother passed. A father, a friend, a therapist. You never really understood what your mother saw in him in the first place, if you’re being honest. He’s awkward, quiet, and typically used to keep to himself up until now. You’re impressed with his efforts by the time you’re entering into your senior year of college, though his entire demeanor towards you seems to have changed.  or the one where your step-father grows obsessed with you minute by minute. 
── step-dad /weirdo park sunghoon x afab reader  
── minors dni
── tags: sunghoon is in his 30s, reader is in her 20s so, age gap, step-cest, heartbreak, obsession, manipulation, coercion, stockholm syndrome-ish, fluff if he manipulates you as a reader lmfao, angst, smut. don't read this if you are easily triggered. ── side characters: heeseung as reader's ex boyfriend, jay as reader's closest friend
── !WARNINGS!: this work contains non-con, dub-con, and stalking behavior. your mom isn’t alive in this fic. warnings will be updated as i write.
── a/n: this one is gonna be a wild ride, that's all i gotta say.
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LAST UPDATED: 12.22.24
⨯ est wordcount: 20k+ ⨯ current wordcount: 5.4k ⨯ est release date: tbd ⨯ taglist: ask to be on my perma tag list!
playlist ⨯ recommended song: last night i read your diary - gürl She's got me down on my knees I beg, I beg, I, I beg, I beg, please! I want it more than I need And I need it like I need to breathe Like I'm losing my- Choke.
PREVIEW (3.1k):
no warnings apply to the preview, it's just the first couple of thousand words for this fic. aka, the intro and the set up for what will inevitably happen later:
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Your first heartbreak is meant to be painful, but this? This is more painful than you could have ever imagined. 
Heeseung was one of your only constants in life. From childhood to high school it’s like he was there more than your own mother was, and certainly more than your own father. Even when she passed, Heeseung was the one who held you through it, he’s the one who made you smile again, he’s the one who made you feel like it was okay to heal and keep going. 
It’s the fact that it was a mutual break up that hurts the most because deep down, you couldn’t see yourself without him. Yet, still, you willingly watched him hop on the plane with a short kiss and long goodbye. It felt so final to you. You could have handled a long distance relationship, truly. But Heeseung didn’t want that. He wanted to explore the world, he wanted to try new things, be with new people. 
Do things without you clinging to him all the time. 
In a way, you understand that. After all, you’re the only girl he had ever been with up until now. Senior year of college. You think you knew your relationship was coming to an end by the time he announced he was going to be studying abroad for his final year without ever once even telling you he was applying to do so. 
So, yeah, it was mutual solely because you want him to be happy and he’s made it clear that he believes that can only happen without you. Such is life. Painful, painful fucking life.  
Just last year when your mother passed, you nearly dropped out and Heeseung had been your rock to make it through class after class with a grade barely high enough to pass. You’re certain some of your professors took pity on you and raised your grade just enough to move forward. You’ll forever thank them for recognizing how hard you were trying. But now? Without your mother, without Heeseung, you’re at a loss.
And there’s a difference between loneliness and isolation, you think. Loneliness to you always hits hard during small spaces in your day, like when you’d get into Heeseung’s car and he would close your door for you. The silence always hurt your ears while he was still making his way around the car to the driver’s seat. A shallow loneliness that you could feel right at the top of your gut, like it was squeezing inside of you and making you lose your appetite. Solely because that silence reminded you of what you always had, a lack of loneliness because of him.
But then there’s isolation. Where it feels forced upon you by other people. Your mother fucking died, Heeseung fucking left, and now you’re just here expected to wake up like you always do, go to class, study hard, sleep well, when the reality of it is– you’re genuinely struggling just to look at yourself in the mirror. 
Then there’s Sunghoon. The only person close enough to you now that you can reach out to. The issue with that is– you’ve never actually been close. And that’s what sucks. The fact that he of all people is all you have now? May as well just assume you have nobody.
His regular calls mean close to nothing to you in the grand scheme of things. Despite him calling twice a week every week since your mother died, your step-father is just as distanced from you as you are him. You’re aware that it’s his obligation, not because he cares. And that hurts, because it’s all you have now. 
Now, you have to try and find meaning in those short calls. After all, Sunghoon fell apart when your mother passed all on his own and you had only called him out of obligation too. You were already in college and stressed, falling apart yourself with someone to love beside you helping you through it. Calling him when it all happened felt empty because you knew both of you were trying to hold it together and save face. 
It wasn’t like this before she died. In fact, he never called and you never cared for him to. You’d see each other when you were home, share awkward pleasantries, and that’s it. It’s hard to believe that now you feel like you need a father, after all those years of practically rejecting him as one. He seemed fine with that after you hit your teen years. He knew by then that he could never be the father you want, but at least he could be the husband your mother needed.
You have grief in common now though. Loneliness. Isolation.
You try not to think about how you were okay up until now though. Having Heeseung to fall back on to soften the blow of your loss, you guess Sunghoon didn’t have that. Maybe his monotone voice and empty words were his way of coping, his way of hearing a voice that wasn’t the one in his own head when he calls you. 
It’s just you and a man you never considered family past the titles and obligatory respects. Finding meaning in his short phone calls does nothing to help your growing isolation, but you cling to them now that Heeseung is gone. You wait for the calls, you ask him to check in with you every day now, to the point Sunghoon starts to notice the difference in you.
No longer rushing to get off the phone. Now, you’re dragging on meaningless conversations. Now, he hears cracks in your voice. 
“You feeling okay?” Sunghoon asks you, in a way that makes you wonder how he’s able to tell that you’re definitely not. The way his own voice has a bit of life to it when he asks it…strange too. Like he’s concerned. 
“No–” You trail off in your meek voice, staring at your ceiling and mind swirling with all of the work you need to get done for classes already. “I’ve only been in classes for a week and I already feel like I’m drowning.” 
Sunghoon sighs into the speaker, contemplating how to further the conversation with you in a way that isn’t too intrusive. After all, who is he to pry? Still, he never intended for you to feel neglected or like you couldn’t come to him. After all, you were too happy about his lack of parenting you throughout his presence in your life. 
He finds solace in the fact that you’ve been accepting him now, though he hasn’t the slightest idea as to why. He’s checked in with you since the passing, but lately it feels to him like something more is going on with you. He may be somewhat estranged, and he may have his own problems to deal with, but you’re still someone he needs to be here for.
Plus, it makes him feel needed again, which is nice considering the circumstances. After living in this bustling house with you and your mom for so long, to it just being him and your mom, to now just him…all that remains now is dread, dissociation, and unwashed dishes in the sink.
“Did something happen?” Sunghoon keeps his questions short, offering more silence if anything for you to use this call as a therapy session if you need. 
You pause for a long moment, realizing that you want to talk about your issues so badly but don’t quite feel the need to share it with him of all people. You’ve already ranted day after day to Jay. To the point you’re sure he’s about one rant away from blocking your number. 
Probably because you’re not that close to him either. Not these days, anyway.
You sigh instead. 
“No…” You trail off. “I think I just miss being home. My dorm mate is never here, class work is already piling up, and I can’t even find the energy to look at the assignments.” 
Sunghoon can tell you’re feeling much like he does and he can’t imagine the weight on your shoulders dealing with these feelings while also in college. But, you have Heeseung, do you not? You’ve been fine for the most part until now, and you haven’t even brought him up. Not once in the past few weeks has his name been uttered by you. Which is strange, after all, the two of you were practically attached at the hip growing up, to the point of choosing the same college, working the same jobs, and even keeping that middle-school puppy love in full swing throughout highschool and college. 
If anything, after your mother passed, Sunghoon felt okay knowing you had Heeseung there with you to help you through it. It meant he could focus on himself and getting through the day-to-day. He could barely handle his own mournful thoughts, let alone the daughter’s feelings of the woman he loved so dearly. He was forever grateful for Heeseung during this time. 
He has his suspicions now though, and his heart aches for the voice he hears from you these days. 
“Why don’t you come home for a while?” He lends a pause to see if you’ll jump for the opportunity before selling the idea to you. “I have the bills here covered and your campus is only a forty minute drive. I’m sure that’s inconvenient but you won’t have bills to worry about on top of everything else.” He doesn’t want to sound too desperate, of course. 
After all, the loneliness he’s feeling is also becoming unbearable. Even if the two of you never were able to see eye to eye, or to form a bond together, you’re all he has left of your mother. He, arguably, is nothing to you, but there’s no one else in this world he’d rather heal the loneliness with outside of you. Only because you knew your mother on a level deeper than he did, and to have someone to share those memories with, or even laugh with, would help him tremendously too.
“I think being at home may do you some good.” 
You think it over in your head, wondering if being home will help you at all. In reality, you know it may make you feel more trapped than you do now. All those memories with your mother, with Heeseung, with all of your friends that have since moved to different colleges. 
But…you wouldn’t be alone. You’d be with someone who knows how to give you space because he’s never even tried to shrink your existence to that of your bedroom and your bedroom alone. You wouldn’t have to worry about rent, food, or anything aside from studies, gas money, and trying to heal from your heartbreak. 
Your dorm is small, you note as you look around the room and wonder how long it would take you to pack your things up. Two hours, give or take. The longest part would be taking all of the little decorations off the wall, if you’re being honest. 
You find yourself nodding before answering, solidifying in your mind that– maybe you’re not the only one who needs company in your space. Not too close, but close enough to not be totally isolated. 
“Okay.” You mutter into the phone, for some reason feeling the tears well up behind your eyes. 
You’re just a bit overwhelmed, that’s all. Knowing you’re going home feels like a relief you didn’t know you needed. 
“Yeah?” Sunghoon confirms. “Just let me know when and I’ll drive up there to help get your stuff back home.” 
You agree, sighing into the phone with a shaking voice. Sunghoon takes note of it, always remembering and quite frankly missing how loud and obnoxious you used to be. Hearing you like this pains him. He wants to help. Now more than ever is his chance to be someone you need, and he hates knowing he feels happy about it. 
Getting to be your father now? It feels awkward, but at least it’s a feeling other than loss. 
“You know you can talk to me, right?” Sunghoon sighs at you through the speaker. “I know I’m not someone you like coming to but–well, I’d like for you to rely on me more, okay?” 
You find a lot of comfort in those words, despite hearing him say them time and time again. This is the first time he’s ever shown that he means it through the offer of bringing you home, rather than just saying it and accepting whatever you say back to him at face value. 
“I know…” You trail off. “I’m okay though, really.” 
Sunghoon hates himself for never forcing you to accept him. Sure, there may have been some teenage defiance towards him, but eventually the two of you could have seen eye to eye. He could have been someone you needed. You could have relied on him too, rather than just Heeseung. That’s all he can really think right now. 
“Are you sure there’s nothing else going on?” The man nearly pleads in his tone, desperate to have someone rely on him again. “I’ve never heard you sound so exhausted before, I can’t help but worry.”
You’d tell him, but honestly, what grown ass man wants to hear about a first heartbreak? It would just get awkward again, he’d just feel obligated to do something about it, and worse, he might end up feeling like he’s supposed to dislike Heeseung now. 
You choose to remain silent in the final straw that broke your back this semester. 
“Really, I’m just tired.” You nod to yourself as you hold your phone loosely against your ear. “I might not go to class tomorrow and just pack instead. I’ll just call you when I’m ready, is that okay?”
Sunghoon smiles to himself, wanting to mean something to you in a way that can hopefully help you out of this slump. Your mother would be throwing a fit if she heard how you’ve been sounding, he can’t help but take over that role and try to make damn sure you are okay. 
“That’s fine,” Sunghoon confirms. “I’ll call and let them know what’s going on so don’t worry about any of that. Just get yourself ready to come back home.” 
You find yourself smiling, relieved that you don’t have to be the one to contact your school and tell them that…well, you’re breaking your student-lease, dropping your food plan, and need to be reimbursed for partial tuition costs since Sunghoon insists every semester that you purchase tuition insurance. You should no longer be charged to live on campus, or for the facilities within the dorm. 
Knowing you’ll at least get back a couple thousand dollars is a nice change of pace, and already you’re feeling weirdly excited to go back to a space that will likely make you miss your mother more. It’ll hurt, but at least you won’t be alone anymore. 
The forty minute drive to campus feels less horrifying now, and maybe your friends will still come and hang out with you in your actual home rather than a tiny dorm. 
“Sounds good.” You say, as if to end the call before you mutter out again. “Thank you, by the way. Sunghoon, really.” 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Sunghoon knew he was spiraling further and further into his loneliness. He knew it wasn’t healthy either, but now. Oh, now he realizes just how bad it’s gotten as he demonizes himself upon picking you up. 
You haven’t come home since your mother’s funeral, and even on that day he barely remembers what you looked like. Eye contact was never a thing for him, but looking at you now, he sees how much you’ve matured since you went off to college. 
Your once bright, excited eyes have turned dull and empty. The bags under them are heavy from lack of sleep. Your lips appear to be in a permanent state of pouting, though he isn’t sure if you’ve noticed. You appear to have lost weight, which is concerning for him of course, but…there’s something else about you.
Something that sits in the pit of his stomach and rots.
“Uh–” You cough, noting the way Sunghoon looks at you as you try to hand him a large box. “Thank you for helping me move my stuff back…” 
Sunghoon snaps out of his thoughts, grabbing a heavy box and then waiting for you to stack another on top. 
“No big deal,” He mutters, feeling the weight in his hands double as he prepares to carefully carry your things out to his car. “You haven’t come home in over a year, but I’ve fixed up your room for you and went ahead and connected my gaming system in there.”
You nod quietly, feeling awkward for how fatherly he seems.
“Thanks…” You trail off, flopping a pile of your things into his trunk before stopping to look at him. “You look like shit.”
Sunghoon furrows his brows, noticing for a split second how that facial expression you made is very similar to one his wife used to throw at him when he’d have hair out of place, or a wardrobe malfunction. And then he smiles. 
“You’re not looking too good yourself.” He jokes back.
You smile back at him, feeling a bit of the awkward air fizzle away. 
“Well, I’m not doing well, so.” 
You were continuing the joke, but his face falls before yours does. 
“You can talk to me–” He starts.
“I know, I know.” You wave him off. “I’ll feel a lot better once we get back and I can settle in.
There’s a nod from him now, and then silence as the two of you continue to put the rest of your belongings into both his car and your own. 
“Well, I guess I’ll see you in a bit?” You say now, awkwardly.
Sunghoon nods, looking you over once again.
“See you in a bit.” 
   ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Shame.
Pure fucking shame. 
Sunghoon knew he needed another presence in this house but upon seeing you again, he knew it may have been a mistake. 
He likes to think of himself as level headed. He’s never gotten into any trouble, never had a stray thought, never cheated, lied, or stole anything. He can’t think of a single thing that he’s done in life to be considered taboo.  But looking at you feels…incorrect?
Indecent? 
You’re his step-daughter for fuck sake but it’s the fact that you don’t feel like you are. When he looks at you, he just sees another person. He did this to help you, he did this to feel needed, to be your fucking father. 
He did not do this to look at you this way or to feel his eye stray even without his intention.
Why do you look so much like her? Why do you do that thing with your pinky when you carry things like she did? You even have a similar smell, probably having picked up on your mother’s habits throughout childhood. 
You being here…It’s like she’s still here. Except it’s you, and he can’t be thinking this way. 
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
This fic will be dark, very taboo, morally bad. Not a grey area, it is blatantly bad. sunghoon will do bad things. Please be aware of your own triggers once it's completed and posted. remember that I write within my own triggers, not yours. That being said! Please do show lots of love if this is a fic you're interested in reading! If you want to be tagged, I have a permanent tag list, there are not any separate tag lists for individual fics so keep that in mind.  ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
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singmyaubade · 2 days ago
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neeeeeedd finals themed x reader fics rn but i cant find ANYTHINGGGG i just need my fav boys to comfort me while im on my grindset 😞😞😞
hiii! i was a little late to see this request, but i still wanted to write it! hope your finals went super well and that you’re enjoying the break! great work <33
bf!poly!marauders x gf!female!reader
summary: OWL's was truly getting to you but your favorite boys always know how to comfort you.
warnings: pure fluff: kissing, cutesy stuff, just teasing tension
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OWL's was starting to feel like an understatement.
The late nights, the constant ignoring of everything around you, never quite living in the moment… yeah, understatement doesn’t even begin to cover it.
But getting perfect marks wasn’t a want, it was a need.
If you wanted to be an Auror, if you wanted Dumbledore’s reference—passing OWLs with flying colors wasn’t optional. It was a must.
And, unfortunately, everyone else around you seemed to be paying for it.
James had been trying to get you to play Quidditch with him for three days straight. He even promised to buy you that dress you’d been eyeing during your last trip to Hogsmeade. You appreciated the effort but didn't cave.
Not long after, Sirius had tried his own tactic—convincing you to go skinny-dipping in the Black Lake. He even tried to seduce you.
It was worse than James' attempt if you were being honest.
Then Remus—who was usually the one to encourage studying—tried to get you to let him read to you, just so you could get some sleep.
And you wanted to. You really did. But you couldn’t afford distractions—not with the potions section of your notes still untouched.
So, they gave you space. Finally. Or so you thought.
“Hi, my love,” Remus murmured, massaging your shoulders, pulling you from your thoughts. You grinned and leaned up to kiss him.
“Hello,” you chirped, your focus still on scribbling notes.
“Still working hard?” He asked, but his voice was light, full of warmth.
You hummed, nodding in agreement. “Well, I have a surprise for you,” He said, his tone suddenly more serious.
You didn’t really register what he said at first, still lost in your notes. But then, without warning, he gently turned you toward him.
“Darling, I need you to step away from your quill and paper for just a second,” He said, his gaze soft but earnest. You frowned.
“But Remmy, I really need to finish this,” You protested.
He gave you a playful yet exhausted look. “I swear, it’ll still be here. I just want you to see something.”
You sighed and reluctantly set the quill down, giving your notes one last sad look before following him as he gently took your hand and led you out of the library.
“What is this surprise?” You asked, your impatience creeping into your voice.
“You’ll see, my love,” He replied with a soft smile.
“But I really need to study,” You rambled. “Professor Turner is going to mark me down if I mess up the measurements for the ingredients. You know how picky she is.”
Remus chuckled, stopping to look at you with tender amusement. “I swear on Merlin’s beard, you’ll pass. You just need to stop stressing about it so much.”
His hands cupped your face, and he kissed your forehead, making you smile despite yourself.
Soon, you found yourself in the outdoor grassy area, where you could see James and Sirius bickering about something. Remus led you over to a picnic blanket where the two were sitting.
“What’s going on here?” You asked, looking between them.
“Well…” James began, standing up and making his way toward you. “We thought you could use a little stress reliever after all that studying.”
He took your hands in his. “And we wanted to do something nice for you,” He added, a playful glint in his eyes.
You grinned. “Thank you guys,” You said, feeling your heart warm at their thoughtfulness.
“We had to, love,” Sirius chimed in, looking at you with a teasing smirk. “We were worried your pretty little brain was going to overload.”
You giggled and sat down on the blanket next to Remus. The scent of fresh blueberry muffins wafted up, making your stomach rumble.
“I never knew you guys could bake,” You said, eyeing the spread laid out in front of you.
James grinned proudly. “Well, we all make great bakers,” he said. “Remus has precision, I’ve got my luck, and Sirius…”
“Hey! I was moral support!” Sirius interjected, pushing James lightly.
You laughed, glancing at Remus. “This is really sweet. Thank you.”
“Of course, my love,” Remus said, leaning in to kiss you softly. “We’d do anything for you. And we both know you’ll pass, because you’re brilliant.”
“Yeah, that brain of yours would outsmart all of us,” Sirius said, shaking his head with a grin.
“And, uh, I did come up with the idea for the basket,” James interrupted, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “I think I deserve a kiss for that.”
You giggled, leaning over to give him a quick peck.
“I suggested we have it outside,” Sirius added, looking pleased with himself.
You laughed again before giving him a peck as well.
Remus smiled at you lovingly, his hand resting on your knee. “I’m just glad you’re here with us,” He said quietly.
“Well,” You said with a cheeky grin, “I think it’s time for some skinny dipping. Maybe a bit of Quidditch? And, oh, a bedtime story?”
The boys’ eyes all lit up. Sirius’ grin grew mischievous.
“You had me at skinny dipping,” He said with a wink.
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callipraxia · 12 hours ago
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Lots of interesting stuff here; the one point, aside from how I love the phrase “ship of Theseus-ing himself,” I can comment on…somewhat succinctly is the “learning that maybe it’s just better if he shuts himself off from the world so nobody has a chance to hurt him.” I think it partially was as a self-defense measure…but also partially due to his shift toward “mission-oriented” behavior.
We know Stan is a social creature. He craves connection. Not all that long before he went to Gravity Falls, we saw him trying to befriend his cellmates in a Colombian prison. It’s also well-established that he likes women and has had (tumultuous) relationships with them in the past, but by the time the Lazy Susan B-Plot happens in s1, he’s clearly been out of the game for a while. We see no evidence, in fact, that he ever had any relationships in GF in thirty years of living there…because how could he? He couldn’t tell a love interest who he was or what he was doing with his free time, because if that relationship didn’t work out, that person would have epic blackmail material. And if he had a love interest and let her continue to believe he was Stanford Pines, well, that was going to get awkward when he definitely rescued the real one any day now, wasn’t it? So, between needing to lie about who he was and the simple fact that dating would take up time which could otherwise be spent on his mission, having even a girlfriend, never mind a wife, would have been tantamount to giving up, which is…not an option in his world usually, because the “stubborn” bit stuck no matter what else about him changed. Having friends would also introduce the same problems, to a probably lesser extent. So, therefore, there was nothing to do but shut himself off from the world, which became a self-reinforcing habit that progressively made him more and more cynical and bitter about his position in life as everyone learned he was emotionally isolated from other people and therefore not someone they liked or trusted….
Aaah, this reminds me of a fic I never wrote. We know a little about Carla McCorkle and Marilyn, but the rhyme at the end of “Roadside Attraction” also mentions a “Beatrice” who “slapped him for being a cad.” We never hear anything else about Beatrice, which made her fair game, so a plot idea I had involved Stan - since this was early into his career, before he had fully shifted the public idea of Stanford Pines away from “the science guy in the woods” - more or less accidentally getting recruited to help judge the science fair, despite how he knew relatively little science at that time and also really, really hates science fairs in particular. Cue light romantic comedy with a Beatrice also associated with this event during the lead-up to it/his efforts to sabotage it so it doesn’t ever happen…which then, of course, naturally all has a bad ending when he realizes that oh, yeah, right…his life is fake and he has a top-secret, all-important mission in his basement, time to deliberately behave badly until Beatrice breaks up with him and the ending is discordantly sad and angsty. Never wrote it because I could never figure out how to write and pace the romantic comedy bits, though.
Something I think about so much is just how different the Stanley Pines we see in ATOTS is from the Grunkle Stan we know in the rest of the show.
Like, have you ever noticed just how much more expressive Stan is in 1983? The guy wears his heart on his sleeve so much more than he does later on. At almost every moment you can tell exactly what he's thinking and feeling just from his face, something that will become a lot rarer for him. Even setting aside the portal incident scene itself, have y'all ever watched the Dusk 2 Dawn scene and just watched Stan's face? He looks so… openly sad.
It's not just his expressions. Here's a detail that only just occurred to me: you guys ever think it's weird that Stan doesn't just try to steal the bread from Dusk 2 Dawn? Like, you'd think his stealing habit would've originated from his years on the street stealing to survive, but no— he tries to pay for the bread, and then when he doesn't have any money, he figures out how to get some. It's surprisingly honest.
And just like… I don't know, his whole vibe is so different. He's come from this life of hardship completely willing to talk things through. He's emotional, he's open, and not exactly what you'd expect to see when you imagine what a younger Grunkle Stan might have been like. In fact, his vibe is so different that, in Journal 3, Ford writes that when he first saw Stan, he assumed he was just in another alternate dimension rather than the one he came from.
Anyway, it just makes me think about the transition of how, exactly, he went from one to the other. How we go from the "stubborn, frostbitten vagabond" to the "carnival barker" he is by the show's present. I think about that in-between Stan a lot. Realizing that the hole in his heart, the one he thought was caused by his circumstance for so long, hadn't disappeared even now that he had money and a steady place to live. Growing more bitter and grumpy by the day, learning that maybe it's just better if he shuts himself off from the world so nobody has a chance to hurt him. Seeing himself aging and finding himself no closer to saving Ford. Ship of Theseus-ing himself into the carefully curated asshole that maybe even he thinks he is.
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