#I quite literally cannot tell if those are his actual legs or not

[pinksiames]

We tumblr users do NOT talk about old lady (gilf) Austin. We must change that.

[usetheeauthor]

Kinktober Day 5: Uniform

Ralph Penbury (Timewasters) x Time Traveler!Reader

Summary: Ralph’s going to join the French Foreign Legion but you just won’t let him go.

Warnings: 18+ smut, uniform kink, blowjob through pants, boot riding, cumming in pants, sub!ralph

“Love, please…I must leave at once.” Ralph whimpers. Yet despite his protests, he allows you access to his neck so you can properly pepper the soft skin with wet open-mouth kisses.

He’s leaving you today. For how long? Could be months or even years but you tried putting on a brave face about his impending departure. After all, it is for the best if you plan on going back home. Yet the time has finally arrived and you’re an absolute wreck.

It’s so strange to see how attached you grew to him considering how long it took for you to reciprocate your feelings for him. You had always found him to be quite the strange fellow. Very intense with his emotions, too. He instantly fell for you the moment he laid eyes on you but you were put off by his forwardness. Hell, he proposed to you the very next day you met!

All you cared for back then was to get back to your timeline so his pursuit of you seemed futile. His learning of your revulsion made him do all he could to prove himself as a worthy man for you. He wrote you songs of his love, tried sweeping you off your feet any chance he got (literally), and he’d been trying to save you in various situations so that you knew him as your protector…even if those situations were as small as throwing his jacket over a shallow puddle of water for you to walk over.

Slowly you warmed to him, simply because of the effort he’d gone through just to make you love him. But he could tell it wasn’t enough. So, his next bet was to join a greater cause wanting to build from those experiences and better himself. And that’s when you learned that he’d enlisted in the French Foreign Legion.

You thought you’d handle it just fine but now two weeks later and you’ve cracked under your cool facade the moment you see him in that dorky tan uniform. There’s a range of emotions that consume you: sadness, lust, yearning…it’s all so overwhelming. It feels too real.

You look up at him with doe eyes, cheeks stained with tears. “Don’t go,” You kiss him hotly, your tongue caressing his own. Once you part, a line of saliva connects your lips. Your hands roam down his body, desperately clawing him through his uniform. “Stay with me.”

He mewls when your hand cups him through rough material of his pants. “I cannot. It wounds me deeply to go but I must—“

You smash your lips against his hard enough for the hat on his head to land on the ground. You walk him backwards into his bed until you both fall against the mattress. You’re feral, hands and mouth all over him and he melts with bliss.

Ralph didn’t think the uniform would have this much of an effect on you. When he was advised by a confidant that women love a man in uniform, he took the concept and ran with it, immediately signing away his life for military service. The way you’re responding to it went far beyond his expectations. He isn’t even expected to be leaving until next week in actuality, only wearing the uniform to admire himself in the mirror when he caught you in the corner of the room with lust-filled yet wet eyes. But he’ll just save that tidbit of news for another time.

Because you finally understand. You’re just as pathetically needy as he’s always been for you. Although, you’re a lot more lewd in your approach.

You snake down his body until you’re on your knees at the edge of his bed, your face nudged between his legs. His eyes bug out of his head when you begin to suck on the tip of his cock through his pants. You were on the exact right spot. Ralph can feel the suction’s pressure around the crown with some of your saliva soaking through the thick material.

“Oh, my…” He gasps, eyes rolling in the back of his head.

Then to show off some more, you begin to knead his balls through the pants with precision, earning another surprise hitch in his breath. You lick a long stripe up his hardened base, enjoying the feeling of the mild abrasiveness of the fabric against your tongue. Even if you can’t get a proper taste him; the warm, heavy feeling of his cock against your tongue makes you moan out loud.

You soon find yourself grinding down on his combat boots as you latch your lips around the sensitive mushroom head again. His head falls back against the mattress but you sink your nails into his inner thigh, nails sharp enough to penetrate the tough cotton.

He recognizes correctly that it’s a warning to him that he mustn’t remove his eyes from you. So with fluttering eyes and those pink pouty lips, he watches you while he struggles to keep his eyes from rolling and his moans from pitching in tone. It shouldn’t feel this good but because it’s you, it’s heavenly.

“Going to cum, my love.” He rasps, large hand resting on top of your head for a moment as if he’s petting you.

This makes you ride his boot harder, making the steel-toed part of his shoe press directly against your clothed sensitive little nub. You cry out at the delicious feeling. You’re going to cum soon, too.

But he doesn’t get to cum until he tells you he’ll stay. Until you could somehow convince him to follow you back to your life instead.

“Tell me you’ll never leave me.” You demand while rubbing your cheek against him like a cat in heat.

“I’ll never leave you.” He sighs.

“Tell me you’ll follow me anywhere and everywhere I tell you.” You continue to rub your face over the crotch of his pants, looking at him with such tender and wide eyes that look so innocent despite the absolute filthiest thoughts they held in them.

“I’ll follow you. Anywhere, Everywhere you tell me. Please just let me cum,” He’s practically sobbing by this point. “I’ll be so good for you.”

“Cum for your love.” You say, giving him one heavy lick and, in the next second, he’s spurting inside his pants. The twitching within the confines of his pants is erratic. You sneak your hands beneath his shirt, soothing a hand over his belly as he whines and squirms beneath you.

Your high peaks at the sight of him, gushing your honeyed essence on the tip of his boot. You don’t stop rocking against him, wanting to feel his toes flexing within the shoe.

Aftershocks shoot through the both of you as you come down from your high. You continue to kiss and worship the leg you straddled until you rise up on shaky legs and go to lay beside him in bed.

He turns to look at you with a smile, still panting. “Does this mean you’ll marry me?”

[commandershepardvasfuckit]

An Arranged Marriage, part 11

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

M!troll x f!reader

2k words, sweet domestic fluff

There are definitely more differences between humans and trolls than you really realized, but at least half the fun is finding those differences.

(Also, ask box is always open, I am literally always vibrating out of my skin to talk about this man)

--------

The sunlight still streamed through the windows when you awoke, but now cast long shadows along the walls. Your head rested on Zen’jan’s chest while he laid on his back still asleep, one of his his arms wrapped around you and one of your legs tossed over his. It felt good just to be entwined like that, not worrying about how long you had been gone, or a cover story, or anything else.

You could not help but drag your fingers down his chest, feeling the divots of both muscle and scars. There was something nice about being able to just observe him him like this, to be able to get a good look at him without feeling self conscious as he watched you back.

Looking up at his face like this you were able to really take him in. His skin was smooth, not a trace of facial hair. His chest was the same and no hair at all and you could not help but reach over to run your fingers down his forearm out of curiosity, just to check. Sure enough, smooth as could be.

“Are you having fun?” he did not open his eyes, but you looked up to see him smiling.

You buried your face into his chest, embarrassed over being caught.

“You did not have to stop, it felt quite nice. I cannot say the last time I have just been able to relax like this and enjoy someone’s company” he pulled you little closer.

“Zen?” you asked, “Did you want an arranged marriage? Like was this something you expected?”

“No. An arranged marriage is not a normal thing here, nor was it something I wanted”.

“Oh” you felt a bit bad, you had not actually talked to him about any of this at all in the last month.

You grew up knowing one day you would have your marriage arranged for you, and it really was not a big deal, just what was expected. Most people you knew were in an arranged marriage after all, and maybe they grew to love their spouse and maybe they did not, but that was not important. What was important was that it kept you in a good societal status and you got to keep living your life of luxury.

“Was there someone in your life then? Before all this?” you asked.

“No. Nothing serious. I never made that sort of time, certainly not during the war and then after there was always too much to do with rebuilding”.

“But there was someone then?” you did not know why, but the thought of that was vaguely upsetting.

“No. Just sometimes enjoying a night with someone. But no, to answer your question I did not have anyone I was close to like that”.

“Have you ever?” you pushed.

“No, like I said, there was been a war going on since I was pretty young, I have never had time for such things”.

“But the war was only for the last few years”.

“Maybe for you, but your kingdom has been attacking my village and tribe and all the others here long before it was officially a war”.

“I had no idea, I didn’t know it was that bad” it gave you pause to realize there was probably to did not know about the war.

“There were attacks even before I was born, the larger raids started when I was 10 or so, and by the time I was 20 it was a full war for us even if it was not for you, then still nearly another 10 years to get peace. When I tell you that my whole life has been consumed by this war, I truly mean my whole life”.

“I’m… sorry” you did not know what else to say. The war had not really affected you. Nothing in your day to day life changed from it, the kingdom was never under attack as all the fighting took place here, even your father was never on the front lines.

“It is not your doing, but this is not something I really want to talk about. It had been my whole life, and now instead I would rather just enjoy laying here with you” he said and once more nuzzled the top of your head.

You felt bad bringing up the war, especially now knowing just how bad things had actually been. Desperate to change the topic you asked the first question that came to mind, “Do trolls not have body hair?” you blurted out

Zen’jan snorted, clearly caught off guard by the question, “If you mean ‘do I have hair besides on my head?’ no, that is it. I am not fuzzy all over like a human”.

“Fuzzy all over? I’m not covered in fur” you pouted.

“No, but humans are still fuzzy” for emphasis he rubbed your forearm.

“At least I don’t shed like you. Do you know how much of your hair I find everywhere? Sometimes I feel like you have fur instead of hair” you teased back.

“Those are the same thing” he insisted.

“No they aren’t! Hair doesn’t shed like how you do. Look at the pillow! It’s only been a few hours of napping and it’s already covered in your hair just from that!”

“Hair does that”.

“Not like that” you reached up to get a good handful of his hair, it was dense and you swore you felt an undercoat, and you gave a firm tug to prove your point and get a handful of shedding hair like you expected.

What you did not expect was Zen’jan’s reaction.

“Oh fuck” he moaned.

In the month you had lived together you had not heard him swear once, you were not even sure he knew any swears in common. That definitely settled it though.

You quickly released your grip on his hair, though at least he seemed equally embarrassed, his blushing turning his face a bit purple.

“I am… sorry about that. I suppose it has been a while for me” he let out an awkward laugh but would not look at you.

At this point you had somehow buried your face farther into his chest in an attempt to block out everything. Maybe if you did not acknowledge it then you could pretend that it did not happen or that the way he moaned got your heart racing with more than just embarrassment.

“I hope that since you feel comfortable pulling my hair that at least means you are not scared of me after everything” he broke the silence.

“I’m pretty sure you have fur” you mumbled into his chest.

“They are the same thing!”

“No they aren’t! Look at this!” you showed him the fistful of shedding strands that came out when you pulled his hair.

“Yes, hair does that”.

“No, it doesn’t! See?” you ran your fingers through your hair, only a loose strand or two came free.

“So? Some people shed more hair than others, that is normal. And hair and fur are words for the same thing”.

“They aren’t, and you’re shedding so badly anyways. You hair is absolutely everywhere”.

He sighed before speaking, “I know, it is hard to comb it all out by myself so it has been a while since I have really been able to get all the loose hair out”.

“I don’t mind helping, especially if it means not having your hair on ever surface in this house”.

“I was about to get up and get us some food, but maybe you could help me comb out the loose hair first?” he asked.

“Sure”.

He nuzzled the top of your head with his jaw before carefully rolling out from under you and retrieving a comb from the bathroom.

“So just comb it out?” you asked as he handed you the comb and sat down in front of the bed so you could reach his head.

“Yes, just keep combing until no more hair comes out”.

Shedding was an understatement. You started at his hairline and combed and combed out a seemingly endless amount of hair just in that one section.

“You absolutely have an undercoat in your hair, I’m just saying” you remarked.

“Many people have a second layer” his eyes were closed and he was leaning his head back on your lap, he looked so relaxed, you even heard his soft purring sound.

“Not humans, that’s not a thing for us”.

“Really? Weird”.

“How often are you supposed to this?”

“Once a week or so”.

“And when was the last time you did?”

He stayed silent.

“Zen, when was the last time you combed out all this hair?” you asked again.

“A few months” he admitted.

“A few months?!”

“It is hard to do on my own, and it is hard to see what I am doing”.

“Couldn’t you have asked Bira or Ba’tual for help?”

“I did sometimes, but they are both busy a lot and I did not want to be an inconvenience”.

“Well, just remind me, I don’t mind doing this for you” you scratched the top of his head where you had finished combing out all the shedding.

He leaned his head to the side and nuzzled against your leg, “Thank you”.

“The nuzzling” you began, “I thought that was just a rut thing”

“The jaw and cheek nuzzling mostly is, but it is all just affection anyway. Do humans not show affection?” he teased.

“We do! Just not like that”.

“Then what do humans do?”

You leaned forward and kissed his forehead and pulled away to see him smirking.

“You tricked me” you said.

“I did not trick you, you did that all on your own” he was still smirking.

“But you knew I’d probably kiss you”.

“I was hoping you would, but you still chose to do it”.

“Do trolls not kiss?” you asked.

“Tusks" and he tapped one of his for emphasis, "They do make being face to face difficult, so no, kissing is not a thing we really do. Some people picked up on it from the orcs and might kiss their spouse’s hand or top of their head, but otherwise no”.

“You press your forehead to mine, isn’t that hard if both people have tusks anyways?”

“It is, and since everyone’s tusks are different it means that with a new partner you have to really get used to what angle to hold you head at to do it, that is why it is very intimate. Exactly how it is done is different for every couple, you have to take the time to learn your partner”.

You blushed at the implications, you had been taking it as just a small gesture and had been returning it without a thought. It reality it was deeply intimate and something unique to everyone.

“Well, in that case, you’ve been awfully affectionate since we’ve gotten home” you remarked.

“Can you blame me? I spent a month on edge around you and sleeping on the floor assuming you either were scared of me or hated me and did not want to be here. But now when given the option to leave you still chose to stay. You let me carry you home, you asked me to be close to you so you could sleep and then cuddled up to me, I woke up with you on my chest, and you offered to comb out my hair. I have never had someone in my life in this way, and it feels good and I do not know how else to show that I am happy about it”.

He was looking up at you, head nearly upside down from how far he was leaning back in your lap, vivid green eyes darting across you face and gauging your reaction.

“I know what you mean” it was a new feeling, and weird, but good. You were allowed to be affectionate for once, allowed to get attached for the first time, not just a quick fling for fun with no feelings involved. “and it’s all pretty new for me too”.

You leaned down somewhat awkwardly and pressed your forehead to his. There was quite a bit you were still concerned about, but at least you knew your husband was a good man.

Part 12

[illubean]

Heyyy, so I’m like reaaaally tall and I wanted to ask if you’d be comfortable with writing headcanons about the Phantome troupe (or just feitan, uvogin and Hisoka) with a tall fem!s/o? Like 6’2 or 6’3 , cuz I really like your other headcanons and I can’t find any of those ANYWHERE… :,)

Phantom Troupe w/ a Tall!Fem!Reader

Characters: Chrollo Lucilfer, Feitan Portor, Uvogin Type: Headcanons, Fem!Reader

Haven’t written hxh for a hot minute… replaced Hisoka w/ Chrollo cus I don’t write for him! also reader is intended to be in the 6’0+ range

Warnings: a tad suggestive?

Chrollo Lucilfer

I personally think Chrollo is a certified tall girl lover

never be afraid to wear heels/platforms around him because he’s literally obsessed with you

his favorite thing ever is when you wear shorts/skirts/anything that shows off your legs

if anyone tried giving him shit for having a gf who’s taller than him he doesn’t care because thats little dick energy and Chrollo is NOT part of that club

tall or not he likes having you in his lap, his palms resting on the outside of your thighs or around your waist

who cares if it looks silly to other people? he adores you

he insists on helping you put on/take off your shoes every time, often pressing a kiss to your ankle and telling you how pretty you are GAHHH

touchy touchy man in private, always laying on your lap, caressing your thighs or offering you specifically leg massages

he may or may not be a teeny bit of a perv

he just can’t help it :(( he wants to spoil his tall baby

we already touched on the shorts and skirts thing but this guy goes NUTS if you wear stockings/fishnets/thigh highs etc. like YESSS THANK THE LAWD

he is not above getting on his knees and quite literally worshipping you, kissing up the length of your leg

ok let me stop before i get freaky

Feitan Portor

oh boy

Feitan is already used to being relatively shorter than people, it wasn’t new to him

but he didn’t expect to get with someone DAMN NEAR A WHOLE FOOT TALLER

you guys are like the big and friendly x small and scary ship dynamic except reversed gender role i guess

as previously mentioned in another headcanon post i did similar to this, Feitan likes being shorter than you for 2 main reasons

1. so he can sneak up on you easier and 2. because he’s practically eye level with your chest..

he likes it when you hug him so he can just faceplant into your rack then blame it on the height difference

he likes to sneak up on you and watch you nearly jump out of your skin because you literally didn’t see him coming

he’s not at all insecure about your height difference but he does get annoyed if you or anyone else teases him

if you tried leaning an arm atop his head or something he would dodge you with a scowl and give you the silent treatment for the next 10 minutes because how dare you!?

he is small but mighty, so if you ever try to pick him up or something he WILL fight back

9 times out of 10 you end up splayed out on the floor while he stomps away, a little salty

but he doesn’t mind so much in private

he actually DEMANDS to be the little spoon

he likes the feeling of having your larger form wrapped around him :3

Uvogin

yeah so no matter how tall you are you’re probably never ever going to be taller than this guy soz

he’s like over 8 feet tall

so needless to say your height doesn’t matter much to him..

but I think he probably has a preference for taller women because it just makes things easier for him

also wtf would it look like if this guy was dating someone under 5’4…it would look suspicious even if they’re an adult……..

so yeah he like’s that you’re tall even though you’re still pretty short compared to him

he likes that he has easier access to kiss you instead of having to lean down ridiculously far (even though around 2 feet is still kind of ridiculous…)

another one who likes it when you show your legs off

to be fair, he likes it when you show skin in general but yeah

cannot keep his hands off you ever

he always has an arm slung over your shoulders or if you’re sitting his insanely large hand is resting on your thigh

he doesn’t shy away from pda ever and it kind of annoys some of the other troupe members..

but yeah you guys are giants in love <3

[alrightieaphroditie]

just checkin' in | j.m.

*:·ﾟ✧ series masterlist

pairing *:·ﾟ afab!reader x joel miller wc *:·ﾟ 2.4k an *:·ﾟ it's here! the first part in a series i am veeery excited about!! this installment is pretty much straight fluff, but i had a blast writing it and getting back into joel's character. i cannot wait to see where this series takes me, and i really hope everyone enjoys reading it! this is slightly edited, but if there's anything huge that jumps out at you, please let me know! check the series masterlist for the series tags!

synopsis *:·ﾟ even when joel is miles away, he never fails to check in on his girl.

after checking for what quite literally had to be the millionth time, the folded-up letter was still sitting right where joel had set it before he left; propped up against your bookstack on the end table in your living room. not that you were expecting it to suddenly grow legs and run away or anything. but today was finally the day that you could open it, as specified by the man who wrote it himself, and by god, you wanted to make sure you knew where it was when you finally sat down to read it. 

in the beginning, when you and joel first started up this little tradition of writing each other letters when he'd go off on the hunting trips, you would eagerly rip open his notes as soon as you were able to. joel always left very clear instructions to not open them until a certain date, and you always obliged, even though it wasn't like joel would really know when you actually opened them. you wouldn't be surprised if his senses started tingling if you even dared to go against his instructions, though. joel had a way of being so omnipresent with you; so attuned to your own being that even when he was gone, you swore you could still feel him with you.  

after a little while, though, you learned to tame that eagerness and make a dedicated time for reading his letters. the excitement never left you fully, and you found that opening the letter was still all you could think about on the day of, all these months later. you spent your morning helping in the greenhouses, thinking of what joel could have written. you cleaned up your house during the afternoon, eyes gazing to the paper with your name on it, written in his surprisingly nice handwriting, far too often. and when you had dinner with ellie that night, all you could do was smile as she mentioned opening her own letter that morning, your foot tapping against the floor as you impatiently anticipated getting to open your own. 

now, you were fresh out of the shower (ellie made one too many jokes about how much you had stunk after working all day, to the point where you couldn't really tell if she was joking or not), your hair done up in two braids, wearing one of joel's t-shirts and stirring some honey in your cup of tea. the window in your living room was cracked open, the crisp early spring winds causing your gauzy curtains to flutter across the hardwood floors. now, you finally tucked yourself into the corner of your couch, an ugly green thing that was shockingly comfortable, and tugged the blanket hanging on the back of it over your legs, getting comfortable. 

balancing your mug on the arm of the couch, you reached over and finally pulled the letter into your lap. just seeing your name on the front had those silly little butterflies float through your stomach; something you felt far too often with joel. you steadied yourself with a deep breath, and, after taking a small sip of your tea, settled back into the couch, unfolding the crisp paper. 

just checkin' in on you, sugar. 

the first line of his letter was always the same, and yet it never failed to make you smile. he'd say those same words in person, too, when he came by to visit while you were out working, or when he'd stop by your place early in the morning before he went out to do his duties. you'd never get sick of hearing - or reading - those words. 

hope you've been doin' alright. i can't believe they're makin' me go out again even though i just got back from another trip. swear these men can't do shit without me, especially tommy. i know he's the only reason why i'm out in the middle of nowhere, sleeping in a damn sack when i could be in your bed instead. 

you couldn't help but snort at joel's irritation with his brother. the sibling rivalry between the miller brothers was never ending, though the majority of it was in good fun. joel was right, though. tommy was, in fact, the sole reason why his brother left for another trip so close to returning home from one; maria had told you that tommy complained that the group he was going with couldn't aim for shit and needed at least one more man who knew how to handle a gun. 

the good thing, though, is that they're lettin' me get out of the next couple trips after this. i'll get at least a few good weeks with you, uninterrupted. as much as i like writin' these letters, and as much as i love reading what you've written me, i'd much rather be able to talk to ya in person. that way i could see your grin every time i say somethin' sweet to you, just like i bet you're doing now, huh?   

once again, joel was right. 

i gotta go pack up now, but i'll be back home to you any day now. take care of yourself for me, baby, just until i can get back to doin' it myself. i love you. 

a wave of emotions hit you at once when you finished reading the letter. happiness, for his approaching homecoming. excitement, for those few weeks he'd be getting off. love, for the way he knew you and how he loved taking care of you. and, however faint, loneliness, for how much your heart ached to see him. he had been gone for a week now, and before that, the two of you had only had one day together after he had been gone for two. only a few days remained in this trip, though it still felt like forever. 

you wouldn't let yourself dwell on that miniscule amount of pain, though. joel wouldn't want you to, so you knew better by now. instead, you reread his letter, hearing that slight drawl of his in your head, and grinning again just like he predicted. you held it to your chest as you sipped your lukewarm tea, as if your skin could absorb his words and cement his love into your bloodstream. 

later, after your tea had gone too cold and you dumped it out in the sink, you carried yourself to your room, the hem of joel's shirt brushing delicately against your thighs. kneeling to the ground, your knees hit the worn wood floor as you dug underneath your bed, pulling out an old shoebox. inside were joel's previous letters, the box almost stuffed to the brim with them. you couldn't even imagine tossing them out, these little symbols of his love for you, so this was where you stored them, safely tucked away. 

after placing the most recent one on top of the box and putting it back under your bed gently, you snagged the flannel joel had left from his side of the bed and put it on. now wrapped in his clothes, his scent, you felt closer to him. that silly thread of loneliness fluttered through your heart again, ever so briefly, but you brushed it off as you pulled back your quilt blanket and climbed into bed.  

outside your window, you could just barely make out the moon high in the pitch-black sky and you wondered if joel was awake still, looking up at that same fixture. it was the comfort you felt at that thought that allowed you to close your eyes and drift off, and joel's lingering scent on the flannel was the last thing you remembered thinking of. 

somewhere in the woods, miles away from the walls of jackson, joel sat on the damp ground, propped against a fallen tree log. his hand was in his jacket, his calloused thumb and forefinger brushing against the smooth paper folded into bits in the pocket. 

he had requested first watch tonight, hoping to have at least some time to himself so that he could read your words. unlike him, you never gave any instructions for when to read your letter. you said once that he should just read it whenever he missed you, and he didn’t have the heart to tell you that if he did that, he’d be reading the letter the moment he stepped out of the border around town. 

you had mentioned in passing, however, that you made a little ritual out of reading his letters, and so joel started putting off reading your letter, waiting until the date that he specified for you to open his. he knew it was silly, that the probability of you both reading the letters at the same time was slim, especially when he had to wait until the dead of night, when he had a small moment of free time. but it kept him going, so he continued to do it. 

the last man in the group had just walked back to his sleeping bag, and joel was finally out in the campsite alone. he gently pulled your letter from his pocket, the jagged edges along one side showing him that you wrote this in your journal before ripping it out. the paper was smooth under his skin, and for a moment he simply stared at his name plastered on the front in your handwriting; the way the 'l' at the end of his name sloped off into a small heart. 

a deep sigh parted his lips; somewhat from exhaustion, but mostly from the way his heartbeat kicked up just at the thought of you drawing that. 

he had to shift against the wood slightly, sparing a glance around the site to make sure no one was paying him too much attention, just so the moonlight could hit the letter just right. he still had to squint slightly to focus, but that was more because of his age than the lack of lighting (you kept teasing him about trying to find some reading glasses, and now he wondered if he did actually need them). 

with nimble fingers, he unfolded the letter and immediately his mouth quirked up in a small smirk. 

hey there, cowboy. i hope the camping life is treating you well and not wreaking havoc on that back of yours. i'm starting to wonder if you're getting too old to go on those trips. surely having a senior citizen like yourself tagging along slows y'all down, no? 

joel forced his sudden laugh into a cough, shaking his head at your attempt of a joke. it was no secret that joel was older than you, but that had never really brought up any strife in your relationship. everyone thought that you were both lucky to find something like what you had given the way the world was, that kind of storybook love people dreamed about. the kind he never imagined for himself.

you were the only one who continuously brought up the age difference, solely to crack jokes at his expense. ellie adored it, and your comments made him laugh, so he didn't really mind it. 

seriously though, i hope you're taking care of yourself out there. i know you do, but i can't help but worry a little. you're needed here, so i just want you to do whatever you need to do to come back home. i mean it.  

while you guys are gone, i think we're going to be setting up the patio area again in town since the weather is warming up. i heard maria talk about hosting another dance soon, so i'm putting it into writing that i want to dance with you at least once, miller.

 i'll beg if i have to. 

heat flamed his cheeks, his skin turning warm despite the cool breeze of spring floating through. his head tipped back, resting against the tree trunk as he closed his eyes for a moment. the two of you had only had one night together between his trips out of town, and ellie had spent the night at your house with joel that night, too. not that joel regretted that; he loved spending time together with his girls. 

but god, did he miss touching you, feeling your soft skin underneath his rough hands, your weight on top of him, underneath him, your hair between his fingers, your lips against his. all of it. the first thing he did when he got back into town was remedy that, he'd swear on it. 

i hear you coming down the stairs, so i have to wrap this up. geez, your footsteps are so loud. i love them, though. i love you, too, joel. stay safe, baby. i'll see you real soon! 

a small heart followed the last word, and his gaze lingered on it for a moment while he absorbed your letter. reading your words was like a breath of fresh air to him, letting him fill his lungs with your love even if you weren't physically there. these letters gave him the energy, the will, to continue on. to make a point to go back. 

for years, he never had anyone to return to, no one to really miss him if he were missing. he grew to accept that, felt comfortable being alone in this great, big world. he never imagined anything different, always felt he had no right wishing for something more. and now, somehow, he had two people who were eagerly anticipating his return. 

joel brushed his knuckle against the corner of his eye, collecting the small gathering of water that had collected there after finishing your letter. clearing his throat, he sat himself up against the tree, gathering his gun into his lap to be more prepared for the evening watch. he never let go of your letter, though. the feeling of rubbing it between the pads of his fingers brought him a great sense of calm. 

later, when tommy woke up to relieve joel from first watch, after he set up his sleeping bag and folded his jacket underneath him to act as a pillow, he reread your letter again and again, hearing your sweet voice in his head as he did. when he basically had it memorized, he let his hand fall to his chest. as the wind whistled through the trees, your note close to his heart, he finally allowed himself to fall asleep. 

taglist *:·ﾟ @hiroikegawa

[annefolklore]

Theodore Nott Headcanons

His favorite color is deep blue

He mainly speaks italian and english but he can also speak french because his mother was French

It brings me to an headcanon that I thought about. I headcanon his mother to be French and after her death, he tried his best to not forget her language because it’s the last thing that connect him to her.

He says his favorite class is Transfiguration, but it’s secretly Muggle Studies because he used to buy muggle things with his mom to see what they were for.

When you’re looking for him, most of the time he’s by the lake on a bench or sat by a tree.

He’s a hatstall because the Sorting hat was hesitating between Slytherin and Ravenclaw

He actually tried being in the quidditch team as a chaser or beater in fourth year, but didn’t like being bossed around by the captain so he quitted

His first crush was Hermione Granger during his third year because he admired her knowledge and how she doesn’t let herself be walked on. His favorite memory about her was how she punched Malfoy in the face

Theodore always thought girls never looked at him, but oh boy he was mistaken…it’s like he’s blind and it took him to accidentally hear his 2 of his friends, Daphne Greengrass and Pansy Parkinson, joking about how many girls wanted him and how their “son” is growing up fast. He still lightly chuckle when he think about this memory.

Not a headcanon but he hangouts with Draco, Blaise, Pansy, Daphne, Mattheo and Enzo. But among them, he prefers being with Pansy and Daphne (he will never say it out loud 💀) because he kinda like how they baby him and tell him all about girls thing. Like I can imagine him randomly being invited to their sleepovers and they put makeup on him, skin care, they gossip ect. He mostly like their inside jokes and how everyone around them is confused. He feels good knowing they’re completely comfortable with him to the point where they change in front of each other because it’s not weird and Pansy says “It’s only weird, if you make it weird”. Outside of the girls, he likes being with Blaise

Talking about his favorite girls, him and the other boys made a pact of protecting the 2 at all cost. None of the girls know about the pact, they just think that as male friends, they act like such by scaring away boys that come near them.

Most people call him Theo, but Pansy and Daphne call him Teddy

HELP I COULD LITERALLY DO A WHOLE POST ABOUT HIM, PANSY AND DAPHNE 😭

But anyways

He’ve always hated his father, Faustus Nott, mostly because he was the one who killed his mom, right in front of him with his fists

He cried after getting the dark mark

He wears rings and got an helix piercing before the seventh year after a drunk evening with Draco, Blaise, Mattheo and Enzo

He’s always making fun of Draco because he cannot run fast to save his life 😭

He’s the one of those that don’t study that often but get good grades

His favorite weather is cloudy/rainy because it finds comfort in them. He loves it the most when it’s pouring outside and he’s in the comfort of his dorm/common room reading a book.

He’s a night owl and goes to sleep at like 3am

His friends and himself are just a big happy family

Theodore is so photogenic!! He doesn’t even know it, but Pansy and Daphne always sneak pictures of him without him knowing and he looks majestic in every single one of them

He swears a lot but not too much yk?

He smokes when he’s preoccupied by something and during Voldemort’s return, he would always have a pack of cigarettes with him

Blaise and him speak in sarcasm most of the time and it’s so funny to watch 😭

I like to think he has a lot of moles/beauty marks on him, especially on his chest

He’s an observer, discreet and pay attention to his surroundings

He’s a good 6 foot 2-3 with long legs and Mattheo always fake-jump with a hand on his heart when he sees him. He calls him slender-man

He has the dead eyes with dark circles under them like he hasn’t slept in a decade

During breakfast he only takes 2 French toast with a cup of either coffee or tea, depends on his mood

His type in girls would be the quiet ones, like him. He likes them shy, maybe a bit nerdy who doesn’t talk a lot. Brunettes, maybe blondes, he doesn’t mind which house she’s in but she must get along well with his friends.

He doesn’t spend much time at his manor anymore, because he wants to avoid his father much as possible. So instead, he basically lives at the Zabini’s, his room is right across Blaise’s. Mrs Zabini loves him as if he was her own and treat him as such. What Theo loves doing is helping her around the house just to hear her say “What a wonderful boy you are!…Take him as an example Blaise!” And how his friends rolls his eyes while doing his best middle finger to Theodore. “Blaise, leave him alone!”

He loves reading, his favorite genres are philosophy because it makes him think and say the same smart sentences to his friends afterwards (especially Mattheo and Draco) even tho they don’t understand a thing he’s saying. He likes the classics, horror and romance (yes I see you coming, he reads smut). When he eventually gets a girlfriend, he does to her the romantic things he have read and say loving things the characters said.

His patronus is an eagle/hawk. No I didn’t do any research, I just can picture him with those kind of bird on his arm yk?🧍🏾‍♀️

He genuinely thought he wasn’t gonna survive the war or be put in Azkaban if he even manages to live. During his seventh year, at night, when everyone was asleep in his dorm, he would write letters to his friends and even wrote his will. He gave his clothes and his things to Blaise. 95% of his money was left for Pansy and Daphne while the rest was for charities and do not be fooled by the 5% because the number still have a lot of zeros in it. He wanted Draco to have his wand, he wanted Mattheo to have his rings because he would catch him looking at them in envy and gave Enzo his owl and books. He wanted to have his portrait in each of his friends’ house so he can visit them whenever he wants.

In a modern Hogwarts, he would listen to Chase Atlantic

He plays the piano and a bit the guitar

He loves poems and write some when he has inspiration, Draco have read one of them when he saw Theo had asleep on it and was curious about what he was writing.

[bobosbillionsknives]

hello bobo !! I just remembered seeing your post ages ago about a posable knives figure you had and i wondered if you knew what series he was part of???? I've never seen him anywhere but your blog and one extremely expensive ebay listing and i am really curious about him bc i am insane for trigun figures !!

Hello Snail-clops !!

Do you mean this one next to the blown glass bongs and Kiss poster? 🧐

He's a Jazwares figure. Which is bizarre because they produce children's toys, not anime collectables. They make goddamn SQUISHMALLOWS now lol. Trigun aired on Adult Swim in the west, so definitely not targeted toward children. They had other Adult Swim toys but I'm not sure Robot Chicken and Trigun share the same target demographic, which is probably why the production eventually got booted.

They're quite janky and poorly made because I believe they were supposed to be prototypes? That's the only explanation I have for why they were such low quality. Maybe the 18 years have caught up to them tho. As far as I know some unconfirmed force stopped production and they were never actually released in stores. The reason they can get so expensive is because they weren't mass produced and an unknown limited number of them exist.

The only one I have that isn't broken is shirtless Vash. Lol. I cannot stress how low quality these guys are. Knives' arm snapped off, Wolfwood's head popped off, and Vashes legs are completely separate from his body. Something to keep in mind if you're willing to pay top dollar to own carcinogenic garbage. (I am.)

They're absolutely hideous and I'm in love with them.

(not my picture)

I bought the whole character set (besides blue Knives. Still on the hunt for him) for 200 bucks. Steep price I know but I was literally having prophetic dreams about owning this figure I can't stress how insane I was about this. I think he was worth every penny but that's besides the point. These days I've been seeing them individually priced for crazy amounts. Boxed is a bit of a different story, but they are genuinely not worth all that much outside their rarity. Normal prices for Knives on his own is about 40. Frankly anything more than that is robbery. Their intended price in 2006 was 11 bucks.

Don't listen to what the resellers tell you...like these little guys (again, not my pictures) these were gashapon figures. Like those gumball machines with plastic junk but better with cooler plastic junk. Basically they're dirt cheap. And you can get them for dirt cheap on Japanese proxy sites, which is where I got an (almost) full set of the mini busts for 10 whole smackers. Eeyup. eBay is the devil at times.

If you're patient and dedicated you can definitely find a good price. I personally have every Trigun search word I could think of saved with notifications on every seller app imaginable.

This is my hobby at this point.

It's hard to find solid information on these guys, everything I know is either from Reddit (I made a Reddit account for this) or old toy/Trigun websites using the wayback machine. (I'm an insane person)

If anyone has more info feel free to rb!

Anyway. Here's him and my Edward Nygma figure sharing a loving embrace on the most beautiful night of their lives 💚❤️

And here's him seeing a double rainbow for the first time in a strip mall parking lot. Look at how excited he is! This #beautiful #life they grow up so fast 💖

Unfortunately I haven't been able to take him out on many adventures because of how fragile he is. My plan is to get a backup to keep nice and pristine so I can damage this one as much as I'd like without a guilty conscience.

Hope this was helpful !!! 💖💖💖

[multifandombullshitbabes]

Random Merlin Rewatch: Where a random number generator gives me a season and an episode from BBC Merlin; and then I comment on it as I go.

Today's episode: Season 1 Episode 5 - Lancelot

Before I start, I have to comment that it's quite the fucking coincidence that, even though I'm randomizing the seasons and episodes separately, I've landed an episode right before out last edition of these Random Merlin Rewatch posts. Maybe these generators just really like the early seasons BBC Merlin. Can't blame 'em.

Can't wait to see my boy Lancelot again.

Those mushrooms Merlin is picking look fucking delicious, damn.

Can you imagine you're just chilling, picking mushrooms, and then you look up and there's a huge ass 4 legged bird looking creature just straight up coming straight at you? Jesus fuck. Merlin, my son, you CANNOT catch a break, it's almost impressive.

LANCELOT SCREAMING LMAO

Colin sometimes made the funniest of faces. Merlin looked about to literally shit himself and it made me crack up.

It truly is actually so sweet and brave for Lancelot to just. Do that. Like he just wanted to save Merlin, no questions, no nothing, he's just a good man.

MUSICCCCCCC LET'S GOOOOO

What a horrifying thought that a creature that can fly and takes human might just. Come by where you live. And you just gotta be prepared. Fucking Christ that's scary.

Merlin looks so gorgeous with the light just shining on him like that. Long pretty eyelashes, bright blue eyes, red lips. Motherfucker looks fuckable I can tell you that much.

"The great Arthur" what an interesting thing for Merlin to say, to refer to Arthur like that. Is that what he hears about Arthur? Especially when it comes to his fighting?? That's so funny. Wonder how Arthur feels about that; pride or need to meet up to expectations. Knowing him, probably both.

Gotta say, I love the fashion sense of this random lady here. Simply gorgeous.

Jesus he's so dramatic.

What the fuck is this man doing, just flinging both of his swords around, what the fuck.

Merlin just immediately resorting to lying. Why does he think that resolves everything when it literally never does??

Merlin shaking his head and Lancelot's just. immediate disappointment is so funny to me for some reason. He's just "Yeah, I figured, fuck me, oh well, might as well kill myself-"

LANCELOT IS SO DORKY I LOVE HIM!!!!

Did Uther just straight up create Camelot? I think he did. The first code came because of Uther wanting knights that he could trust, those who had allegiance with him, the nobility. And that's where the first code came from. Uther straight up created Camelot? From scratch? I always assumed he'd inherit from his father, but honestly, the fact that he made Camelot as great as she is by himself makes sense: that's why he never wants it to change unless it's by his own accord, not only because he's King, but because this kingdom is purely his.

Love Lancelot's little leather bracelets: a big thick one on his right arm, and a bunch of thin ones on his left. It's really cute how humans just like to make themselves look prettier or cooler or whatever with anything they've got.

"My father, my mother" implying Lancelot's an only child, since he doesn't mention any siblings dying at the raid.

Love how attached Merlin becomes of Lancelot. I think it's because Merlin can just see, plainly, that Lancelot is a good man. No hidden bullshit about, he's a good person. He knows Lancelot would make an amazing knight, probably better than the assholes he suffers while following Arthur around. That's why he fights so hard to give him what he deserves.

"Homework." yeah, 'cause your famously enrolled in a school, aren't you Merlin?

Merlin literally cannot be fucking subtle to save his life. Everybody just knows he's up in some shenanigan or other.

It's the way that Merlin is doing this almost with the intent of them finding Lancelot out, but much later on, when he's already proven worthy of his role, etc etc. However, Lancelot is right, you can't lie like that and then be a knight, so he knows that if he's found out, they'll kick him out. You have Merlin who knows the rules have to change, not just for his friend but just in general 'cause it's unfair, and then you have Lancelot that knows that it's not a good idea, and they'll be found out, but damn it it's literally what he's been working towards his whole life and, really, Merlin isn't wrong, is he? So even though he knows it won't end well, he'd rather take this little bit than nothing at all.

OUGH GWEN'S HANDS JUST SOOOO CLOSE TO LANCELOT'S BITS MY BOY IS FLUSTERED AS FUCK

I'm not gonna lie, I would've died if I saw Gwen smiling at me on her knees. Jesus Christ, I feel flustered.

AHHHHHH THEY'RE FLIRTINGGGGGG

They're crushing HARD BRO.

"Best seamstress in Camelot." I don't even care if that's just Merlin exaggerating, this is now part of Gwen's character to me.

Lancelot is so awkward and dorky and then he has his smooth moments but it's just because he says what he means, he doesn't even know he's being smooth, please I love him.

AHAHAHAHAHAH ARTHUR SMACKING LANCELOT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS

The little sound Lancelot makes when he comes back from the stables. I'm fucking dead. That's me.

"And the truth before I lose my temper?" underrated Gaius line.

Arthur looks so slutty with that red shirt and red pendant combo.

We don't talk enough about how good the fight choreography can be in BBC Merlin. It looks so REAL, I don't know how else to describe it.

Jesus, Lancelot aimed to kill. Without a helmet, half of Arthur's head would've been cut off. Damn.

Arthur is so dramaticcccccccc

"You set him on a path of your choosing." This is so interesting. Mainly because, the point of saying that, Gaius means that Merlin played God and that he can't change destiny, he can't change everything. Well..... doesn't Kilgarrah literally tell Merlin the exact opposite? In the sense that he always tells Merlin that he's the one who needs to choose the outcome of others, like whether they live or die, which is literally playing God. Doesn't he expect Merlin to shape his own destiny but also the destiny of Arthur and of others, something that never works out and cannot be changed? Yet he always made it seem like he could change the outcome? I'm saying this just with a pit in my stomach that, unknowingly or not, Kilgarrah set Merlin up for a failed task, in the sense that, in him trying to play God and force everybody's destinies, he doomed them all. And I just don't know if Kilgarrah didn't think about that or just didn't care and just placed his bets. He put it all on Merlin, and it ruined everything. Kilgarrah really is the one who killed Arthur, not Mordred, not Morgana, not Merlin. I hope I worded this well.

Interesting that Morgana is wearing the same dress as the first episode, but also a high ponytail, which I can't remember any other time she did.

Oh jesus, it's so weird that Morgana and Arthur are looking at each other like that. I do get it, the king's ward I think would have the expectation of marrying the prince, but it's just sick that Uther just let that grow, knowing what he knows. People would talk about them two. He's hear them. And he'd just what, say "Perhaps they will marry."? Ew, bro.

Not Gwen just heavily hinting that her type is Merlin. But also, are you about that? Considering: Arthur? 'Cause girl, you love that man. (and also Morgana, but it's not canon or whateverrr). Anyways, Gwen's type is: heart of gold. Now, is that heart obscured by anything? Like some defensive and prickly walls? Maybe. But it's still there.

Merlin and Gwen having girl talkkkkkkkkkk

Merlin and Lancelot at the VERY VERY least cuddled on that tiny little bed, didn't they? (they snogged too, but shhhh)

Well, that was short lived.

Lancelot is stronger than me, I would've started sobbing. Not even to get away for the crime, I'd just be so embarrassed and distraught, bro.

Oh, the fact that Arthur called Uther "Sire", ohhhh he wants to get on his good graces so bad to maybe save Lancelot.

"How can you trust a man who's lied to you?" by understanding any layers of his decision. By understanding why he did it. And only then can you make a true and complete judgement of his lie.

Lancelot is just. A good person. To a fault, I imagine, I personally think he's not truly always present, like in the moment, always either thinking of the past or future or just living day by day, unaware of really anything. It makes him a bit idealistic, but also quick to be realistic/pessimistic once he's brought back down to earth. He hasn't had a home since childhood so he never feels like he belongs anywhere. It's why it's so easy for him to leave. And while he never expects anything from anyone, he craves it so much; but once he receives it, he'll take any indication he doesn't deserve it and accept without question and just move on to the next. He doesn't think he's worth fighting for, so he doesn't advocate for himself. But he'll always advocate for others, if he has them. It's what he would want other's to do for him.

The fact that things only recorded in myth or legend are just. Walking about. Chilling.

I wonder how Bradley trained for the "ON ME!" screams he does. They're immaculate, but I bet training for it must be so fucking goofy.

It's a stunning creature, though, ngl.

It's the way that Arthur is, canonically, only 20 years old right now. He turns 21 in ep 9. He's literally my age. Jesus fucking Christ.

Well finally the guards are good for something.

One thing I'll always appreciate about Bradley's acting? He WILL look like he's exerting himself. His cheeks will be puffed out, he is inhaling and exhaling, he is pursing his lips in concentration, he is doing the WORK.

Uther is so fucking stubborn. How terrifying it must be for Arthur to know that in an hour or two, him and his knights are marching to what is, most likely, their deaths? He KNOWS they're weapons are useless. And yet he can't defy his king, his father. How fucking scary it must be to be the prince and to just have to maybe die for your father, the king? What the fuck??

Oh the things Gaius says about Merlin :((( they care about each other so much.

Oh yes, Arthur, we know YOU need Lancelot, you've looked down at his exposed hair chest twice now.

What a homoerotic charged scene. They need to bang at least once. Don't know if it would resolve anything, but at least it'd get them off.

Gaius trying to be so supportive, ough.

Gwen's father is still alive, do they not live together? Lancelot just barged in and there's no Tom in sight. Does he sleep at the forge? Actually. He just might.

Oh the music is GORGEOUS, hello???

Love how Gwen went straight to Merlin, she knows he'll do something about it. She doesn't know what to do, but she knows Merlin will at least try something. I feel like it's moments like these where it shows thar Gwen just always knew that somehow Merlin would solve things, and where she starts to suspect Merlin is truly very special. Maybe not "he has magic", not right away, but that there's just something about him.

Lancelot literally looks like the coolest knight ever bro. Most knight knight to ever knight.

Props to Lancelot for not freaking the fuck out when his lance just starts fucking glowing out of nowhere. I guess he's busy looking eye to eye with the griffin.

OUGHHH THE BOYS ARE SO CUTE, THEY'RE SO HAPPY IT ALL WORKED OUT!!! LOOK AT MERLIN GEEKING OUT I LOVE IT!! AND LANCELOT JUST LOOKS SO STARSTRUCK

AHHHHH ARTHUR JUST SO EXCITED FOR LANCELOT!!! The way he said his name so softly, ough...... He's not gonna stop thinking about Lancelot for a LONG time, huh.

Oh, I love when the episode has so many happy moments like these :))) tugs at my heartstrings in the best way.

"I see you feel strongly about this Arthur." I just know Uther knows about Arthur's bisexuality bro, ain't no way.

It's the way that Merlin and Arthur just. share so many views in common. Makes me bonkers. I wonder how many amazing discussion they could've had if they ever felt truly comfortable in talking about such sensitive topics, and with Merlin hiding so much of who he is.

Uther watching Lancelot leave knowing he's literally all a knight is supposed to be. But then, it's not as easy to command them when they have such set morals. He knows Lancelot stands for what is right and THAT is a problem: he needs knights that stand for Uther, not for what is right. But he can recognize that Lancelot is a worthy man of it.

Also Arthur's heartbroken face. Yeah, Lancelot is gonna live rent free in his mind for a while. He'll never admit it though. Duh.

Oh Morgana speaks to Gwen so softly. The way she says her name??? Jesus fuck.

It's the way that they let him have a Pendragon red cloak at also armor? Hello???? That's a full knight riding out of Camelot bro. Now I'm thinking of the hilarious concept that Gwen was looking at the wrong guy-

Not Morgana doing an Arthur when she gets jealous: make Gwen take her mind off of things with work. She says it much kinder because that's just what Gwen deserves, but it's the same technique. Don't think about that other person, go do something for me instead.

And done!!! Fuck yeah brother

[marswasnothere]

Unfortunately it seems my body actively hates me and I am sick for the second time this fUCKING YEAR

Anyway

I’m rereading the pup Daniel snippets and thought I’d tell you my fave parts

“Mmm… th’orange one…” comes Daniel’s voice, muffled between Max’s pecs — or tits.

“You like the orange collar, yes?”

“‘s your colour… ‘m your doggy…”

Out of their vast collection of collars, Daniel picks the first orange one that Max bought for him the most. The scent of his sweat is soaked into it, like a familiar perfume. Max loves it too. A proper Dutch orange, not papaya.

This REALLY grabbed me like I became obsessed with this aspect, Max having tits, Daniel calling himself Max’s doggy, the idea of the Dutch orange collar bc booooooo McLaren tomato throw tomato throw

“And you are wearing one of those inflatable vests with the handle at the back that little puppies wear on boats so they do not drooown.”

Despite the choice of words, Daniel humps his leg harder, like he can’t understand english but knows the cutesy, teasing voice Max uses is for him and him only.

He is so deep in pupspace omg. Him not being able to understand English like he really is a dog?? Chefs kiss

Daniel can be an obedient doggy when Maxie puts out his hand for him to spit. Daniel does so, he knows his commands.

He’s such an intelligent puppy!! Tbh the entirety of Treat time is perfect, love the stream of consciousness from somehow who isn’t quite a person at that point

“Daniel, up a bit,” he whispers, “move back a bit, like tha– that! Yes! Yesss, fuck– fuck, good pu—uppy!”

I FUCKING LOVE SUB TOPS!!!!!! He’s so obedient 🥰🥰

Max is hoping for a ‘yes, daddy’ — just so he can say ‘good boys don’t let themselves get hurt’ — but feels Daniel tilt his head against his neck. That tilt always means ‘maybe’, or ‘both’, or ‘not sure’ in their playtime depending on the question, so he pokes Daniel for a verbal answer.

Daddy kink? 👀👀 does Daniel ever actually call Max daddy, I don’t recall seeing it in the rest of the fic. Daniel also tilting his head like dogs do when they’re confused AHHHHHHHHHHH

“Are you sure?” he asks, hand on Daniel's hip, “…Is puppy sure?”

“Is puppy sure?” Hi, here lies fairy anon, dead from horny

“Aww, is it too much?” Max teases, “one little finger is too much for my pup to deal with?”

Gentle humiliation yippee!! Like Daniel’s so overwhelmed from the barest of touches

“There you go, all good, get it aaall out,” Max says as he keeps milking his cock head, watching Daniel go slack and twitchy from the stimulation.

I think Max should milk Daniel. For scientific reasons of course

“Maxieee, this puppy still wants to plaaay…” he says, hoping it provokes Max to return the favour.

So it seems I have a thing for Maxiel explicitly referring to Daniel as puppy instead of using his name

"Ohhh nooo, we cannot fuck normal style anymore?"

"Max-!"

"Oh no, you can't cum normal anymooore, only my legs and table legs and the sofa pillows and-"

I can literally hear Max say this but more importantly, I now say “normal style” all the time so I’m blaming you

- 🧚🏻

OH MY GOD THIS A GOD SEND OF A MESSAGE TO SEND A FIC AUTHOR I LOVE THIS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW

mclaren slander as revenge for daniel is always a must. 2022 mclaren specifically, oscars chill i like him

I LOOOOVE the idea of pup daniel being so woozy and spacey that english doesnt make sense to him. but also. Max speaking to him in dutch so all Daniel hears is vague human sounds that his poor lil doggy ears can't understand

stream of consciousness fics my loves. also dialogue only fics (you know i absolutely love opening/ending a fic or chapter with a dialogue only segment)

DOMINANT. BOTTOMS. GETTING. FUCKED. BY. THEIR. PUPPY. SUBS!!!!!!!

i love sprinkling in a daddy kink. hes already a little baby dog so why not call max daddy hmmmmmmm

rip.

ONE LITTLE FINGER IS TOO MUUUUUCH. me. but also yesyeysysyeyssssssss

🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡

"Oh nee Danyul, we are now of course kinky freaky guys we cannot fuck normal style, oh nee, how saaaaad"

anyway im kissing you on the mouth

[themanitself]

Ꮪ𝐔𝘕 A𝘕𝘿 ᶬ𝞞𝞞𝘕 - Pressure X Reader

Chapters: 00/01(you're here!)

. . ╰──╮____ pov╭──╯ . .

Today will definitely be my last day at Urbanshade, I cannot handle those human experiments anymore! They might have been criminals, but if we keep doing this experimentation to those people were lowering even ourselves than them.

Finally done packing up my research on the box, taping each other's side to make sure they'd stay still. I walked towards the exit with the box in hand,

It was quite heavy that I had to put it on a table.

I went to open the metal door, pushing it gently but it didn't budge at all. Why won't it budge?! I should ge-,

My thoughts were caught off when i felt electricity on my body, the voltage must be so damn  high to make me almost faint. I collapsed on the hard cold floor, I heard footsteps getting near my weak body, it was those guards for containing the experimentations- wait...

What the fuck?! No, excuse my words...

"W-what the... hell is the meaning of this?!" I hissed as i stayed there not being able to move, I can only talk but it won't be long till i lose consciousness.

The guards ignored me and dragged me to the laboratory, I tried to wiggle my way out but to no avail I failed. Great i'm back at the fucking laboratory, not to work but to get experimented next?! How low are they to try and experiment on one of the scientists?!

I tried to hold my consciousness for a bit more time, only to fail miserably.

It's actually better for me to lose consciousness than be conscious while they experiment on me...

So much for my last day here at Urbanshade.

. . ╰──╮Day 01╭──╯ . .

I finally woke up, I was confused why I'm in the laboratory and not my house, then suddenly all of my memory of that day hit me like a truck. They didn't start the experimentation yet... My train of thoughts were cut off when the door opened to reveal my ex-coworker...

"J-49, you're finally awake." He said as he looked at me then the clipboard on his hands. He grabbed a walkie talkie in his pocket and called someone.

"Why am i in here?!" I questioned him, but he of course ignored me.

"I said why am i here?!" I asked again, getting impatient at his silence.

"Quiet." He spoke nonchalantly.

"No! Tell me why the fuck am I in here in the first place?!"

"I said quiet!" As he tasered me, that was enough for me to shut up.

There was an awkward quietness heard in the room, you can hear a pin dropping due to the lack of sound except for breathing of course.

The door finally opened, this time it was a new scientist that just got here today(?), their mannerisms were quite clumsy, They pulled a tray carrier that I'm assuming is the DNA's of some sea creature and an injection.

. . ╰──╮Day 02╭──╯ . .

Your whole body doesn't feel like it belonged to you anymore, your body feels so wrong... It didn't feel like yours.

Your skin color is changing into a pale mint like color, your eyes hurts so much just by staring at the light bulb for literal seconds, you felt like your head's about to burst and so was your fucking leg!

. . ╰──╮Day 03╭──╯ . .

It hurts! They had to amputate both of your legs, your vision seems to get blurry and a jellyfish like cap formed around on top of your head! You were informed that you had Aurelia Aurita or moon jellyfish DNA on you, a female and male. That explains the pink and white hue and those little tentacles forming.

For your diet it consists of shrimp brine, you haven't eaten for two days so you inhaled that food fast as a vacuum cleaner. You're eating that thing like an animal, less humanlike.

You were fed like an animal, for goodness sake!

Your slowly turning into a monster as day passes by, you noticed that you seemed to be more angry than usual, for goodness sake you almost killed the new scientist and a guard for messing with you, the scientists and guards had no choice but to make you wear the straight jacket to cause no more harm for the others.

. . ╰──╮Day ??╭──╯ . .

They had to put you on the test tubes, you really can't handle this shit anymore! Those injection's with some weird DNA! It hurts... You just missed your family, mama must be so fucking worried. Mama must be crying...

. . ╰──╮Day ??╭──╯ . .

Urbanshade made a grave mistake on experimenting on you and the others,

You aren't a human anymore, your a fucking monster.

It'll be fun seeing their creations kill them, You'll make sure they'll taste their own medicine.

╔⏤⏤⏤╝❀╚⏤⏤⏤╗

End of 01

╚⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝

Hello! Read the original here! Please do support me if you enjoy reading my works!

[iguessitsjustme]

Deep Night Ep 8 Thoughts

It’s almost over? This surprisingly wholesome show full of actual communication? I did not expect that at all. I am very glad that y’all said I should liveblog this because had I just binged it, I wouldn’t remember it later but now I can go back and read my thoughts whenever I want. Maybe I should liveblog more. But only shows I binge. Week to week y’all are stuck with my thoughts as they enter my brain. Anygay for the last time…it’s time for Deep Night 8: Bring on the Poly. Let Them Date!

I’m not kidding. I was promised poly so I better get poly. 

I am fascinated by how often Khem and his mother match colors. Those two are quite literally cut from the same cloth. I love them both and I love their mother/son bond. It’s been great to watch.

YAY FREYA AND MEIJI. Older queer couple! Older women couple! I love them! I’ll even give up my love on Freya she looks so happy.

Wela baby boy. Do not give me stress like this. Do not do it I will pass away.

Wela I know you want to show your mom what it is you do. But baby boy you cannot perform on an injured leg. You cannot. You will make it worse. If you perform tonight, you might ruin your chances of performing in the future. Is that what you want?

When in the hell did Khem learn how to do this? oh he's been learning from Wela got it but ooo that was stressful for me

Now boys I don’t think it’s the time for kissing. You’re still on the stage. 

POLY POLY POLY POLY POLY

Have I mentioned that I love Japan? POLY POLY *you hear my chants in the background for the next five hours*

I didn’t have much to say this episode because I was too busy enjoying it. I loved every bit. This show was so much better than I expected it to be. Now what am I supposed to do with myself? Perhaps another binge with a liveblog? I had fun. If you read any of my posts and want me to do another tell me what show I should binge and I will consider it.

Anyway I am going to throw a celebration for the poly. We need more poly. Wait actually. I was raised lutheran. Let’s end this with a short prayer. Dear lord thank you for the poly. More please? I will be a good little christian and pretend to go to church. But can we please get more poly? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Amen….I haven’t been to church in many years. That’s a prayer right? It will work? More poly?

[alpaca-clouds]

This one amazing anime you have probably never heard about

You know what? After talking a bit with a friend about this anime, I really gotta tell you guys about it.

For fucks sake: Watch Basquash. Yes, the show is more than a decade old, but fucking nobody watched it back when it was released, because people were too put off by the concept of the show to give it a chance. But literally I know few anime who understood the issues around capitalism and how it destroys the world better than this one did.

If you have heard about the show, you will probably know it as "the anime where mechas play basketball and some women have giant tits". Which... Both is true. But it also does not capture the essence of this show at all.

Let me tell you what the show is actually about.

Dan JD lives on the planet Earth Dash. He mostly does small time crime, trying to collect the money to allow his sister to travel to the moon. Because the rich people all live on the moon, which is why the moon has much better technology. This also includes medicine. And Dan's sister, Coco, was once a gifted basketball player, but through an accident became wheelchair bound. The technology on the moon could fix her legs. When Dan's childhood friend Miyuki returns from the moon with one of the mechas responsible for Coco's accident, Dan uses it for quite a bit of chaos - and incidentally starts Bigfoot Street Basketball through it, later known as Basquash.

And yes, you can kinda see the basics of the capitalist criticism in this short description. But believe me, that only scratches the surface. Because oh boy, this anime is basically just one big metaphor on how capitalism destroys the world - and how the lack of social mobility might well be the reason that the people who might have the skill to save us never get access to the kind of techology they would need for it.

I am going to explain under the cut - because of spoilers. I think the show is very much enjoyable even with the ending spoiled, but if you just wanna watch it... Go ahead. Please. Do yourself the favor and watch it!

Okay, let me talk a bit more about what actually is going on in this show.

For the destruction he commits in the first episode, Dan gets send to prison, though he gets out two years later. He kinda get into steering one of the mechas (called "big foots" in this world) himself and quickly starts to figure out how to use the thing to actual play basketball. And indeed, his stuff in the first episode lead a lot of people to play "street basketball" with those mechas.

Even though he had been in prison, someone shows up to want to sponsor Dan with this new sport. In fact, quite a lot of people become interested in how Dan plays the sport. And for the first bit we just have them play the sport, travel a bit, see different parts of the world.

Now, there is ton of capitalist commentary going on during this first half of the show, too. But nothing compared to the second half.

Because around the halfway mark we learn, why people are so interested in Bigfoot Street Basketball, aka Basquash. And this reason is that for a while now the moon has been put out of orbit, because the rich people build their city all on this one location, making the moon much heavier on one side. And this will lead to the moon crashing into earth, killing everyone.

Now, of course rich people could have changed the way they behaved or stuff - but they didn't. Instead they banked on a prophecy about a chosen one with the ability to move orbits with a glowing ball. And because the basketballs that Dan throws start to glow, everyone assumes he is the chosen one and can save them. So, basically they can keep on going like they do and he is just going to save them.

But there is two issues. For one, they cannot be sure about it. For two, he is a little anarchist.

Which is why the backup plan is to genetically engineer a chosen one.

Never the less, in the end they have Dan there, trying to do the thing that would push the moon back into orbit and... he fails. Because it turns out, yeah, he wasn't the chosen.

We never learn, who is the actual chosen, but the series strongly implies that it would have been Coco. Who gave up basketball when she became wheelchair bound.

Now mind you, the show is actually fairly good about this. Because Coco herself is happy with where she is in life. She has become a writer, she likes writing, and she is frankly annoyed that Dan only cares about "fixing" her disability.

But yeah, she might have been the one to save the world - and she was not in the position to do that, because her economic circumstances basically made it that she could not access the kind of care she would have needed to fulfill that role.

And this is just... the amount of metaphor going on that I really cannot help but bow to. This is AMAZING writing.

Of course, in the end the world is still saved, because everybody realizes that waiting for the one legendary chosen hero is bullshit anyway and everybody should work together to find a solution, which they do and manage to save everyone.

But... Yeah, fuck. This show is so good. And it is just very unfair that because of the concept people just never watched it.

Oh, and also: This series has one of the most banger soundtracks ever. Just listen to the fucking ending.

[docholligay]

Ep 5: Ben and Misty

Hello! This is about up to Episode 5 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY episode 5 of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond the fifth episode, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open

Poor Ben here is trapped as an authority figure. Travis could overpower him, fuck, the girls could overpower him, he relies on Misty, and yet he still has the vestiges of authority because we are only now beginning to see that the old world no longer holds sway. 

The quasi-religious tone when Misty walks into his room to touch him was a really amazing thing, and it’s true, though, that for Misty, this is on the level of a miracle. A man she finds handsome needs her, she spends all her time in his light, she goes toward him with the reverence of a saint. And he rejects her. He tells her not to fucking touch him. We even see a cross on the wall as she leaves the room. 

So if even someone she has done so much for, someone she has devoted herself toward, cannot love her, they have to pay. Now, the question I have for myself is: Do I think Misty actually wants to kill him, or do I think that it’s more a price she is willing to pay in order to get him close to her again, to need her? I think it might be number two, but I also think establishing that she is willing to kill someone to get what she needs is a very important thing we need to know about Misty. 

Him losing his leg works on multiple levels here, of course it’s a device to get him close to Misty for the express purposes of ‘oh my god holy shit fuckin Misty,’ but also, it’s a symbol, a visual reminder of the fact that his power and authority is quite literally crippled here. We are seeing him slowly lose control of the situation, even as the girls are continuing to follow him, even as Travis still listens, there’s this absolute edge of losing control in the air. 

And he senses this, and this is why he reacts to Misty’s stange confession of love by calling himself into her protection with his own, while clinging to this fractured and lost authority as a gate between he and Misty. How long will that gate hold? What can he cling to then, and how far might he go to keep from getting killed by Misty in the pain of her rejection? 

Because make no mistake, all of this is about Misty and her feeling of rejection, and in the way they continue to push in this story that I love, the rejected nerd is not sitting in the corner crying, we are not meant to identify with her, we are meant to see that she instead decides that those who reject her should be punished. 

Which is why it is so terrifying when she sees Nat call her a poodle haired frreak at the end of the episode. She thought the threat of being blackmailed would make them appreciate her, need her. But instead, this.

[gurugirl]

my top five harrys:

1. DBF HARRY!!! he makes me weak and i’ll literally spiral thinking about it 😵‍💫 I CANNOT COUNT HOW MANY TIMES IVE REREAD 😵‍💫😵‍💫 HE HAS ME GAGGED AND THE CONFIDENCE AND SOFT YET DOMINANT DEMEANOR SENDS ME TO OBLIVION. NEED TO INHALE THIS MAN LIKE OXYGEN. I SWEAR IM OBSESSED WITH THIS TROPE THIS FIC YOUR WRITING I NEED HIM MORE THAN I NEED AIR! (the forbidden trope and age gap also makes me swoon)

2. wolfrry 🥹 he’s so precious yet daddy love everything about him and it’s lhh so of course he’s to die for 🥹 i was hooked on him since the beginning and he’s so endearing and protective. He feels like something that i need to hang up on display at an art gallery.

2. con artist harryyyyy, yes i know i’ve put two 2s and that’s cheating but i couldn’t pick one over the other and this harry au means so so so so so so so so so so so so much to me. he’s everything i need and more. and the dynamic you created between the two characters is so vividly enthralling. I was hooked and still hooked for this au. it means so much to me, truly. One of the most underrated fics out there and deserves all the recognition because truthfully it’s one of the best harry fics out there.

3. cop harry! on my fucking hands and knees willing to do any and everything for this man. never need a man more than i need him. more than the roof over my head and the food in my fridge. i’ll trade in my soul to have him.

4. psychopath harry, he’s so hot 🤭 i may be insane but i would help him escape out of prison and he can murder me after for all i care, i’ll still say thank you on my dying breath. and once i’m dead i’ll be in my grave thinking “10/10 would recommend. no regrets, would do it again”

5. stepfuckingdadtheebestharry THIS MAN RIGHT HEREEEEEE!!!! he would’ve been my top first choice because his smugness, charm, dominance, the way he fucks?? hello what’s not to love? this man is the epitome of my dreams. AND WHEN HES SOFT? UGH HES COMING FOR MY THROAT!! I would love nothing more than this man but realistically i wouldn’t want him fucking my mom so he’s fifth.

honorable mentions: arrangement harry my beloved, ghost harry (i actually really love this harry so much but like you’re dead bro soooo 😭), long weekend harry he’s mean but sweet and that combo gets my legs open 🫡, mcc harry KIDNAP ME NEXT PLEASEEEE, priestrry i’m not religious but i’ll get on my knees for him, professor harry the ultimate fantasy, AND THAT ONE HARRY FIC MY MIND IS BLANKING ON THE TITLE BUT MC MEETS HIM AT A PARTY AND SHES A VIRGIN BUT HE TAKES CARE OF HER AND TEACHES HER HOW TO FUCK THAT HARRY OWNED MY HEART AND PUSSY WHEN I READ THAT FIC! I WOULD KILL TO HAVE HIM!!!

OH MY GOD? This is so detailed and thorough and you literally listed like 2/3 of my masterlist 😂 (well maybe not quite but damn!)

YESSS! So I see you. I get you, babe. You like 'em a little mean and dark and... well... that's why I have some of those Harrys in my masterlist because there's just something about the darker Harrys.

And you have bfd Harry at #1! I’m posting a 7k+ check-in for bfd tomorrow 👀 just fyi.

But ALSO - ahhhhh! The Con Artist Harry 🥰 Love that you have him on the list. One of my faves too and thank you so much for telling me your thoughts on that fic. Makes me so happy.

Love this list! And all the honorable mentions 😂 The last fic you mentioned is called Sex Ed With Harry - and god I haven't thought about that one in forever.

Thank you so much for this 🥰

xoxo

[losergender]

i tried to open chapter 7 earlier and my computer literally crashed i couldn't make this up if i wanted

"he almost sounds... kind" no he doesn't get yourself together

"the annoying part was patro was right" what does this sentence mean. nvm just understood it o7

she cares so much about classical music for no reason T___T

we got lore on the snake pet. apparently she's another spartan's animal protector but her guy is "gone"

THE SNAKE IS FLIRTING WITH A JAGUAR??? AND THEY'RE SAPPHIC??? AND THE SNAKE JUST CALLED THE PROTAG HOMOPHOBIC WHAT?!?!DFGF

they leave her clothes in her bedroom for her and they give her like a bra in every size possible for her to choose from and i think that's actually a good detail idk

oh of course spartan blood is too acidic to test. of course. how could i not think of that.

she's fluent in ASL but i don't think it was ever mentioned which is a bit random (specially when w her being hoh could have been quite easy to bring up) (then again the author doesnt seem to remember shes hoh and visually impaired very often)

"maybe it's always been awkward. i tended to have that effect on people, specially men" please shut up

i see 0 chance of these two men being horribly and uncalledly mean because of hidden personal reasons that have shaped their personality (which with how straight up abusive they are is not enough) and i'm sure it's gonna be a "they were born like this!" situation which is even worse and ew

"swearing is a sign of a weak mind" you've been swearing the whole book

"i wasn't sure i had ever felt pleasure" not even 3 chapters ago when you were watching porn in the school library? :( really?

"our power would rip you through shreds from the inside out. it would tear you to pathetic pieces and BOIL YOUR WOMB" when they inevitably have horribly written sex i hope his dick is 2 inches

"sounds like an average menstrual cycle" rare protagonist W

STOP MENTIONING YOUR EMMY NOETHER AND CARL GAUSS FANFICTION FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

"do you have math books?" "no. i'm not a loser" okay i did chuckle

this world building sucks so bad that i have to pause my sweet maisie peter's "want you back" to fully comprehend this shit

"there was a strange creaking, a groan, heavy panting and more creaking" please tell me those fanfics taught you enough to not go check plsplspls

NOT THE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ITALIAN FROM HER DREAMS AGAIN. (he's telling her she'll survive) (at least i think it's a him) oh he's not even being supportive he's also really mean

the evil mental test she has to survive has the following categories:

"thagorean" (maths ft. philosophy). why would she split pythagoras' name? i don't understand

"lost classical lore" this cannot be serious

"discipline and power (d and p for short)" there's a marina song about that

bonding with an animal protector

no comments

btw they just assumed her father is zeus based on the fact that she's blonde (but ig that if she has to be hercules it makes sense)

"i wasn't a bird girl. no one had proved birds weren't spying on us" alexis for the love of jesus christ and his virgin mother

"why were they always flying" BECAUSE THEIR LEGS ARE SHIT THEY'RE BIRDS ALEXIS

i hate this guy but i can't blame him

important piece of info but in chapter one she mentions this one neighbor that was so insufferable that someone had tried to kill him by hitting him with a shovel in the head and she keeps talking about stuff he used to say and she says "paul (pre-shovel)" and "paul (post-shovel") all the time

why are you ancient greek and wearing a toga

"one boy in the group wore a golden laurel crown" omg zagreus!!

i don't get why if there are so little of these guys and so little of their women why they're so insistent on killing everyone. like call me crazy but one would think that not killing people reduces the death rates by a bunch

welcome to sunny reacting to stuff in which sunny reacts to stuff. in this tumblr post, we're dealing with blood of hercules (the i'm a girl and as it turns out i'm hercules book) because i'm doing So Bad Mentally that i am in dire need of something that will make me laugh.

chapter 1 reaction below

montana?? out of all states?? okay go off

"kids at school called it apocalytic core. i called it hell" already laughing. i love my life decisions.

SUPERSEED I'M SORRY WHAT?

"if you wanted to live (i didn't)" you and me both bestie

does the author know verb tenses

i'm saying so little bc otherwise the post would be huge. every single sentence is hilariously bad this is so silly

summary if anyone is interested -> pretty unclear dystopian setting, 10-yo befriends an echidna named nyx and then gets a foster brother delivered to her room the next day. the titans are like superhumans killing normal people and the "spartans" are 12 protector families (8 are olympian, 4 are cthonic and those are dangerous murderers or something).

[augustinewrites]

osamu + “we’re fake dating! why did you tell them we were engaged?!” for @amarinthe thanks for requesting this! it's probably one of my favourite prompts

the moment you open your front door, you kind of regret it.

because while your totally hot neighbour is standing in your doorway in his dark jeans and fitted black t-shirt glory, you’re rocking shorts and an unreasonably large sweatshirt.

“osamu,” you blink, tugging the hem of your shirt down a little. “hey.”

“hey,” he replies with a smile that makes your knees weak, holding up a takeout bag. “i brought some onigiri home. wanna share?”

thinking about the instant ramen currently boiling on your stovetop, you couldn’t possibly refuse his offer (especially if it’s from miya osamu, whose very successful restaurant is quite literally across the street).

so you open your door wider, letting him step inside and slip his shoes off while you move into the kitchen, placing two plates on the counter.

“so, how was your day?” he asks, unpacking the setting two onigiri on each plate. “anything interesting happen?”

you slide into the stool next to him, swinging your legs lightly as you munch on happily on the food. “not particularly, you?”

“actually, yeah,” he starts, taking his cap off and running a hand through his hair (you think it’s unfair, how good it still looks, even after spending all day smushed under a baseball cap). “my ma called today.”

“your ma?” you hum through a mouthful of salmon and rice. “what’d she say?”

he picks disinterestedly at the seaweed on his onigiri. “she, uh, asked that i visit home for dinner tomorrow night.”

“that’s sounds fun,” you start, pausing when he visibly grimaces. “unless it’s...not?”

“my brother’s bringin’ his girl again,” he shrugs. “and i know that means ma’s gonna be on my ass about why i’m not datin’.”

“yeah, i’ve had that conversation with my parents before,” you shudder, patting his shoulder in understanding. “the future, grandchildren, the passive-aggressive judgement from siblings. you should just call and say you’re sick.”

“can’t,” he sighs heavily. “i already cancelled twice. she may disown me if i skip a third time, or worse, show up at my place.”

it’d probably be funny, you think, seeing mama and brother miya across the hall, bugging osamu. “then maybe you should bring someone,” you suggest off-handedly. “just to keep them off your back a little. when was the last time you went on a date?”

when he doesn’t answer, your happy chewing slows, and you glance over at him. “jeez, that long ago? i thought you had more game than that, miya.”

a slow grin spread across his face when he meets your gaze. “last time i went out with someone was...four months ago, actually.”

“four months ago? that was around when we—” your eyes widen slightly, heat spreading to your cheeks. “oh. that...was not a date. that was a slightly intoxicated but very satisfying sexual exchange between friends.”

osamu chuckles, ducking his head a little and making those eyes at you (the ones that’d lured you into fucking him on your living room floor at two in the morning). “maybe don’t bring that up when ya meet my mom.”

“excuse me?” you laugh. “you cannot bring me home to meet your family.”

“why not?” he questions, looking genuinely confused. “you’re the one who suggested it. it’s just for one night anyway.”

“i just can’t!” you insist, looking at him incredulously. “i’d be nervous even if we were dating. what if they ask questions about--”

“i’ll give you free onigiri for a month.”

_____

“so, how did the two of you meet?” osamu’s mother asks as she pours you a generous glass of wine.

you freeze, blinking a few times. when you open your mouth, nothing comes out.

(it’s funny how, on the hour-long drive to hyogo, the two of you hadn’t discussed any basic information about your relationship. instead, you’d spent your time debating the best taylor swift album and making fun of the other tenants in your building.)

you almost flinch when someone places a hand on the small of your back, but relax when osamu’s faint cologne meets your senses. “actually it was the day after she moved in next door,” he says. “i brought some onigiri over because she’d asked me that morning where the closest grocery store was so i figured…”

you smile fondly, recalling the day you’d run into him at the mailboxes, and he’d shown up a few hours later with food. he’d claimed they were just leftovers even though it was mid-afternoon.

“i can’t believe you remember that,” you murmur.

he hums quietly, gaze flicking over your face briefly. “i guess it’s just when i knew.”

you’re sure that your heart stutters in your chest. surely he’d stolen that from some cheesy romance flick?

“how long have you two been together?” his mother follows up with, glancing between the two of you expectantly, a slow smile spreading across her face.

“eight months,” you say.

“almost a year,” osamu answers at the same time.

across from you, atsumu hides a smile behind his glass of water.

“i mean, who’s counting?” you laugh, quick to recover, reaching over to your ‘boyfriend’ blindly, meaning to pat his shoulder but instead catching him on the cheek. “time flies when you’re in love.”

you turn to stare at osamu when you feel him clasp your hand, pressing a kiss to your fingers, lips curling against them.

your stomach flutters a little at the gesture.

“‘tsumu,” he continues, redirecting the conversation. he rests your clasped hands on the table, thumb brushing the back of yours gently. “i thought you were bringing your girlfriend.”

“oh, she’s at her place doin’ some packing,” he answers easily. “she’s movin’ in next week.”

“that’s great news!” their mother beams, osamu’s hand tightening around yours as he blurts,

“yeah, well, we’re engaged!”

this time, you choke on your bite of chicken, almost hacking up a lung as you whip your head towards your neighbour/friend/fake boyfriend turned fake fiancé.

he shoots you a pleading gaze as he rubs firm circles on your back, and when you finally dislodge that traitorous piece of meat, you draw a slow breath and sigh. “babe, i thought we were going to wait until you made it official.” you lift your left hand, pointing at your empty ring finger before turning back to his mother and brother. “do you mind if we step away for a second?”

they both wave you off, and you snatch osamu’s wrist, dragging him out the back door, making sure it’s shut tight before you whisper-shout,

“we are fake dating! why would you tell them that we were engaged?”

he rubs his hands down his face, groaning. “i’m sorry, i panicked! it’s just that when atsumu mentioned moving in i got weirdly competitive because we’re twins—”

“so naturally you told your mother we were getting married? what’s next, atsumu mentions a joint bank account and you tell them that i’m pregnant?”

osamu lowers his hands to peek at you. “can i actually do that?”

“no! this is so not worth the free onigiri!” you growl, smacking him on the shoulder a few times, osamu yelling in protest.

(inside, atsumu and their mother peek out the kitchen window to watch the both of you, the latter murmuring, ‘definitely engaged.’)

_____

“you cannot tell that story in your toast,” you laugh, three years later with a very real engagement ring on your finger.

“why not?” osamu whines, completely invading your side of the bed to wrap his arms around you. “it’s how we got together, isn’t it?”

“by lying to your family.”

“soon to be your family,” he reminds you happily. “and i didn’t have to lie and tell them you were pregnant.”