#I promised myself I would finish it today before sleeping and now it's past 2 am
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thescarletchan · 2 years ago
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But Not Forgotten
ship: Spike x Reader tags: Death and greiving, unhealthy greiving, Jet is the best Mom Friend™
summary:In the months following Spike's death, Reader finally comes to terms with what happened.
word count: 1201
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
a/n: Depression trigiloy go brrrrrrrr, also part 3 to the “Not Coming Back” series
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“A hunt well ended,” Jet said with a smile, raising his bottle, and I reluctantly returned the gesture.
“Sure is,” I said with a sigh, looking around.
The Bebop is awful empty these days.
Ed and Ein were happily on Earth, Faye had gone who knows where, and… Well it was just Jet and myself left.
We still hunted bounties all the same. Granted, with fewer numbers, we had to take the small fry and were hardly making enough to get by ourselves, never mind the endless list of maintenance the Bebop needed.
But today we bagged a big one. The leader of a gang on Mars that was attempting to take power now that the Syndicate was decimated.
Jet and I helped ourselves to some food and for once, not bottom-shelf beers.
Speaking of the beers, I had just finished off my third.
“Well, I guess I should head to bed. Can’t drink away all our money,” Jet chuckled at that, “Night.”
“Night kid, rest easy.” He said as I left the living room.
“No promises,” I called, entering the hallway.
It’s always so quiet now.
The sound of my footsteps seemed to echo endlessly, no matter where on the ship I was.
When I stopped walking, I was in front of a familiar shut door.
Spike’s room.
We hadn’t cleared it out, not in the few months, it had been since… Everything happened. It was essentially a time capsule. All that was left of Spike was in there.
I stood there, staring at the metal that blocked my way.
I meant to go to my room, how did I end up here?
Options weighed in my head. Do I go in? Do I go to my room?
While I mentally debated with myself, my body seemingly acted on its own, and the next thing I knew, I was inside Spike's room, the door sliding closed behind me.
I had seen his room before on a few separate occasions.
Once when Faye dragged me in there to poke through his stuff while he was out. She was disappointed with how little he owned.
Another time was when I had to wake Spike up for a bounty. He was obviously awake, just pretending to be asleep and ignoring me. So I pushed him out of his bed. He was pissed off to say the least, but awake, so it was a job well done.
The last time was when Ein was in his room and apparently he can’t fall asleep with the corgi in there, so I was tasked with removing him. But I knew he was lying, since the day before I caught him sleeping with the dog on his chest.
But now, the room was empty.
A layer of dust had formed on Spike’s few belongings, giving the room a duller appearance. His bed was well made, as it always was.
I found myself frozen in the center of his room, slowly looking around.
Then a feeling of exhaustion took me over. I hadn’t felt this tired in a while.
Maybe I hadn’t fully processed my emotions since that day?
Maybe I hadn’t realized that Spike was gone. Never to return. He would only live in my memories.
Maybe, somewhere in the back of my brain, some strange optimistic part of myself thought he’d come back.
Even though I knew he had died.
He died in my arms after all.
Tears pricked in the corners of my eyes.
That moment replayed in my head, again and again, tens, hundreds, possibly even thousands of times in a matter of seconds.
Tears rolled down my cheeks, to my chin, gathering there before falling to the floor.
And there I stood, silently sobbing, finally feeling something other than the numb dream-like state I had been in for the past few months.
I moved to the nearest surface, Spike’s bed, and sat, hands over my face, palms growing wet with tears, hunched over.
I have no idea how long I sat there, how long I cried. My eyes were stinging from the salt of my tears, my throat ached from all the held-in sobs, and my back hurt from my posture.
I wiped my hands off on my pants, sniffling slightly, and clearing my throat.
“God I’m a mess,” I said to myself, chuckling dryly.
My voice of reason, which had slowly turned into Spike’s voice, spoke in my head.
“What’s got you like this?��
“You,” I spoke aloud.
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. It’s just my stupid emotions getting the better of me. I’ll be fine.”
“You’re allowed to have emotions.”
“Not in this profession. Not on this ship.” I murmured.
“That’s exactly what got us into this mess you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“I didn’t… I should’ve talked to you. To Jet. To anyone.”
“Shut up.”
“What?”
“You’re not the real Spike. You’re my stupid idealization of him. He did what he did because he’s a stubborn idiot who’d prefer to suffer in his own mind than talk to any of us.”
“Kinda like you’re doing now?”
“It’s not the same.”
“Oh really? So what are you doing then?”
“I… I don’t know.”
“Then figure it out.”
He stopped talking.
God, I knew it was just me, just my own brain using Spike against me, to finally do something for myself other than wallow in self-pity. But it really felt like I was talking to him, at least for a moment there.
“I’m going crazy, aren’t I?’
Nothing.
Too tired to get up, I kicked my shoes off and laid down on Spike's bed, sleep quickly taking me.
~
The feeling of the foot of the bed dipping down woke me up.
With bleary eyes, I saw Jet sitting there, looking at me, worried.
“What are you doing in here kid?” He asked, and I slowly sat up.
“It’s… It’s a long story.” I spoke, my voice quieter than I expected.
“I’m willing to listen,” Jet said, and I looked at him.
Not-Spike’s words replayed in my head, “Kinda like you’re doing now?”
“Well…” I started, and we talked.
The whole morning we talked, going from Spike’s room to the kitchen, where we both made ourselves breakfast. We talked while we ate, even though Jet insisted I don’t talk with a mouthful of food, which I ignored. We went to the hangar and talked there while Jet tuned up Hammerhead. And finally, we were done.
“I’m glad we did this. It feels good to finally get all this out of my system.” I said, a small weight off of my shoulders.
“Me too, but this isn’t gonna fix everything, you know that, right?”
“Yeah… but it’s a step in the right direction. Communication is good.” I countered.
“It is, and you’re right. This was healthy. How about we do this again? And it doesn't have to just be about Spike. It can be anything.” He offered, and I nodded.
“Same time next week?”
“You got it.”
He went back to work on the Hammerhead, and I left the hangar, for the first time in a while, genuinely content.
Spike may be gone, that’s true.
He is gone, but not forgotten.
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katieslittlethoughts · 2 years ago
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29 mars 2023 - qui vivra verra
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My most recent obsession is The Ultimatum: France...I don't know how I forgot to mention it yesterday, except yes I do: I was deep in my feels. Just goes to show that sometimes my internal world doesn't always align with my outer world, and that's ok.
My internal world: healing and unveiling suppressed emotions. My external world: watching inconsequential reality tv.
With that said, I was learning so many fun phrases while watching my silly little show. My favorite was qui vivra verra which roughly translates to "who lives will see" and can be understood as the french equivalent of "time will tell." For anyone learning french I cannot recommend the show more, I do think reality tv is very conducive to language learning. Even if you're not learning french and just enjoy reality tv, this show is so messy and will definitely be an enjoyable watch if you enjoy reality tv.
After my very tipsy musings on life last night, I went to sleep and woke up very settled in focusing on myself and my happiness. Today, that meant not going to my literature class. I attended class online but I find it hard enough to pay attention as it is when I'm in person...nevertheless I got the main gist of the class.
Now, I could have stayed home all day, and truly, I almost did. However, I already did that yesterday with the protests and transport strikes so I decided to get ready and go out. I think that the universe could sense that I needed some motivation to leave my house as well and today, that came in the form of my friend asking me to go to a coworking cafe, but more on that later.
Even though it was well past noon before I left my house, I was glad I put on some makeup and a cute outfit. Yes, she didn't see the light of day for very long, but it helped me feel confident and happy as I walked about Paris so the effort was 100% worthwhile.
My first stop of the day was to CityPharma. Now, for those of you unaware about french pharmacies (like I was), I promise that once you are exposed it is all downhill from there. Specifically, once you to go to CityPharma and notice the prices at other pharmacies, you will feel like you're walking into Disneyland every time you set foot into CityPharma. The prices here are gloriously less than any other pharmacy AND it's huge...three stories huge (and I thought CVS was a blessing). The one con is that it seems everyone loves CityPharma so I never really take any pictures when I'm in there because it feels so overwhelming. All that being said, anytime I have an excuse to go to CityPharma I'm smiling like a toddler with a balloon.
A visit to CityPharma was crucial today since I'm all out of body gel. I've been wanting to try Roger&Gallet, so that is just what I did. Another thing about CityPharma, there are consistently sales! Not only are the prices lower, but there's sales on top of them. I was able to get body gel discounted and I even found bar soaps with the same scent for 2 euros each!
I finished up at CityPharma as my friend finished up her class so I decided to walk over to the coworking cafe we were meeting at since it would take around the same time as her metro trip. The coworking cafe is called Nuage Café and it was fantastic!
Truth be told, I've seen a lot about coworking cafes, and I was extremely skeptical:
I don't like being timed
I wasn't sure if I would like the vibes
I haven't been doing enough school work to desire going to a coworking cafe
Well, let's just say I'm glad I got asked by a friend to go because I really don't think I would've due to the above reasons. Even though I didn't have a lot to do, I enjoyed getting two cups of coffee and some nuts to snack on while I started a book about art in Europe during the 19th century. The atmosphere was so fantastic: the decorations were so cute and there was a large array of seating to suit anyone's preferred environment. Though I didn't have a lot of work to do and was just reading, I enjoyed myself and saw myself going back.
My recent revelations have made it clear to me that I need to prioritize my happiness and wellbeing. I do believe that it's important to push ourselves and that we do, indeed, need to leave our comfort zones, but also that this shouldn't mean feeling burnt out. I've been reading a lot about how easy and common it is for people with ADHD specifically to feel burnt out, and for awhile, I normalized feeling burnt out because that meant functioning at a level that was more similar to being neurotypical. But hey, I'm not neurotypical, and there are other ways to manage my ADHD that does not involve exhausting myself.
Life can be so unpredictable and there are so many challenges ahead of us, but that doesn't mean it has to be scary. I've found myself wondering if I was really living if I'm constantly afraid of what comes next. In my case, I think the answer is no. You won't know what happens, and really, only time will tell. So I've decided to focus on being more present and trusting myself to get myself where I need to go. Yes, it is much harder than it sounds and no, is not the most realistic goal for everyone right now. But, it's a goal I came to after lots of reflection and patience.
So that's what I will leave you with. Go outside, journal, take a walk, meditate...sit with yourself and take stock of what makes you happiest and what might make you sad. Just remember, qui vivra verra.
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diaryoftheunidropout · 2 years ago
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DAY 50
Very brief message because it's 3:30AM and all I want is to SLEEP.
I made the reckless decision to brutally go off antidepressants completely just so I can experience the full syptoms of whatever mental illness(es) I have so I can get a better and hopefully more accurate diagnosis and be take more seriously next time I see a psychiatrist.
Three days ago I felt EXTREMELY anxious for asbolutely no reason at all. I wanted to go to the restaurant, I went, and almost as soon as I stepped foot out of my flat, I got anxious. Over nothing. I just FELT anxious. And I was also super irritated by everything. That was the case yesterday too, and a little bit today as well, but it really is less and less.
These past two days I've been feeling super motivated and happy. I can get lots of stuff done and I want to get lots of stuff done. I believe in crazy shit like "I'm going to write a book and have it published" or "I'm going to study 3D animation" or "I'm going to become a tattoo artist". And to think 3 days ago I just thought I was going to do none of that and just work whatever job I'd be given...?
Anyway, I know this is probably very temporary and a relapse is probably going to kick in soon, hopefully in a week or two only, but it's probably more a matter of a couple of days.
I got my Heartstopper tattoo and I'm so so happy about it. I also love my tattoo artist. What I see in her is like... a 15 year older version of myself? We happen to have quite a lot in common except she is under medication that really treats her illness well and therefore she is pretty stable and enjoys her daily life, and that just gives me hope for my own future.
Anyway, I'll try to keep this blog updated more regularly, especially because I wanna keep track of how my mental state evolves, especially since I've had a hard time focusing and remembering anything lately, and also because whenever I feel bad I get sort of "black outs" and forget :')
See you soon hopefully
xx
Update:
I posted the first part at around 3/4AM so in order to update I must do it on the same post.
Around 2AM I felt peaceful and like I was about to fall asleep but I made the very stupid decision to reply to my grandma's messages knowing it was going to take me 2 hours. So at around 4/5AM, when I finally could go to bed, I felt super anxious, I felt like someone was in the room watching like lowkey paranoid. I think I even woke up in the middle of the night hearing someone's breath but honestly it was probably just mine obviously. I think I fell back asleep and woke up again a little before 12PM.
Then I knew I really had to finish preparing my trip to England which is just under two weeks away from now but it made me so fucking anxious. I still managed and ended up taking a lot of pleasure in it! I was pretty much laughing hysterically at everything.
Then I got up to get prepared because I'm getting my 2nd booster against Covid, which I was totally chill about until I left the house and almost had a full blown crisis with tears and anxiety, which I've been trying to fight for the past hour. It's only 10 mins til my appointment. I'm not scared of the shot in itself, I'm just too unstable. I'm not even sure the vaccine in itself is the real cause of my mental anguish, I think it's mostly because I promised myself after this shot I would stop wearing my mask, which should be liberating but instead makes me feel miserable.
We're the 21st of April and it's day 3 (I think) with no medication at all. I refrain from taking anything, not even a bit of medication against anxiety.
At some point I tried to remember what I did yesterday and just couldn't for about a minute. I still feel dizzy when I walk most of the time. When I say or think about the words "death" I just wanna cry. I wish I could die to end the suffering right as I'm writing this but when I think of dying I just get traumatizing flashbacks from my dad's death.
I'm trying to sit down somewhere and collect myself because I really must not cry in front of some poor strangers working at the pharmacy. They haven't done anything to deserve to see me like this.
I am so in pain right now. I wish a doctor would listen and try to help.
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queer-triple-a · 2 years ago
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A Lonely Trip
Introduction
Hello, Lovelies!
Today we have a much less contextually difficult story than the last two. Unfortunately, it is also one of the most open ended stories I’ve come across so far. 
This tale comes from 2 letters (one which seems to have been sent and one which wasn’t) between two really close friends. 
I won’t say any more, so I don’t risk spoiling anything. I hope you enjoy it!
Content warnings: 
mild homophobia
You can also read this story on my website linked here. 
Letters
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August 3rd, 1822
My Dearest Francine, 
I miss you. I miss you, and I’m angry. How dare the seller mislead me into a belief that we would be on this trip together. He assured me that our tickets would send us both from Britain to America together. I thought I’d checked the tickets thoroughly. They showed the same date, the same time of departure, and even the same cabin number. I did not even think to check the ship number at the top of the ticket. 
How annoyed you must be with me. I had assured you I could take care of the tickets, yet you and I had but a minute together on the dock between our realization that we would be separate and our being cast across the ocean on different vessels. My only excuse is that I was misled. 
I was misled, and now I am in pain. 
We promised each other to remain friends for our entire life. We swore an oath to remain by each other's side, yet it is my fault that we must be separated for these six weeks. 
Just before we came aboard these ships, after our brief goodbye and our decision to write these letters, you took my hand into your own and squeezed. I heard the words you spoke quietly, “I won’t do anything but miss you when we’re split up,” and I find myself thinking of these words now. 
They replay over and over in my mind. 
You were, I would venture to guess, speaking of the loneliness I suppose you feared. But I trust you will make friends aboard your ship. I believe you won’t be lonely for long because all those who live with you for your journey will swiftly fall for your charms. I believe it likely you were their friend before the ship left the harbor. I envy these people for being near your side while I am away from you. Though perhaps that is cruel of me, for I would rather you have those beside you with whom you can be gay and genial than be lonesome. 
I do nothing but miss you, though. 
I sit aboard my ship, in a room with strangers, and think of you. I trust the couple who sleeps in the beds opposite of me believe me to be strange. I have written page upon page in my diary in an attempt to reconcile the reward of our trip with the cost of at least six weeks away from you. There is land in America. That much we know. We know we will be able to stay away from cities and away from war. Our king is gone, replaced by extravagance, and America’s ruler holds his position yet. 
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I trust our stability and space in America more than what we have felt in Europe over the past decade. Yet my stability aboard this ship is lost. 
My emotions flow with the waves, filled with longing for you, my truest friend. I watch the couple in my room, and I am reminded of the way you and I are able to exist in harmony. I miss the easy way we exist together. I miss so many parts of you. 
Francine, I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. Two weeks before we departed, I was overcome with endearment for you. It was the night you had Lucille over. The two of you had both finished reading the new book by Mary Shelly, the title escapes me, and you were discussing it together. To speak of it seemed to light a fire within you (It also lit a fire inside our apartment, it did not escape my notice that you did not put out the lamp before you got into bed. I suspect the book left you afraid). 
As you and Lucille spoke, I found myself growing enamored with the way you make an argument. Though I have not yet read the book, I was pulled into your discussion with great attention. You spoke with a passion about the responsibility of creation and the sadness of a dejected child. You conversed enthusiastically about the creature’s desire for love and the assumption that one who was created in his image would be one he could love and one who would love him. 
Though it wasn’t just the content of your speeches which I found fascinating. It was the way you listened, rebutted, and agreed. You leaned forward with care when Lucille spoke of the tragic marriage and the feelings of loneliness experienced by the main character (His name was Frankenstein! I have recalled this is also the title of the novel). You listened as though every word she spoke on the topic had the potential to change or reinforce the way you thought. Your brows were furrowed until they nearly rested between your eyes. 
Your eyes, your beautiful deep brown eyes. Their rich shade contrasts with the copper of your sun warmed skin. They glow with shades of brown, and despite my best efforts, I cannot help but be drawn to stare into them. They were alive with lights and movement as you focused all of your attention on the content of Lucille’s speech. 
You look at me like that sometimes. 
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When the conversation’s end arrived, you laughed with her and smiled as you escorted her out of the apartment. I sat quietly in the corner and waited for us to be alone. I believe that for a moment, you forgot I was there, for when the door shut, you began to whistle a tune. It’s one I’ve heard from you before, and I’ve known you to sing it when you’re happy. 
When your eyes finally gazed upon me as I sat with my feet curled up in your chair, your lips rose into a soft smile. That smile. Francine, I think that smile could make me do anything. When you look upon me with that gentle smile, I feel like I’m home. It’s like none of the pain and strife I’ve gone through matters because you’re happy, and I’m with you, so I must be doing something right.
Every smile from you seems to be further evidence of my theory that emotions are contagious among people who are close. When you are happy, it is difficult for me to feel unhappy. Something in the world must be just and right if you are smiling. I trust you. I trust your joy. 
I tell you this, so you know what you do to me with just a smile. I think you would like to know that you bring joy to my life.
You amaze me, Francine. You show courage when fear eclipses our lives and strength when I am taken with weakness. I have seen you face death with mournful peace, and you face life with an optimism it has not given you a reason to have. How could I not want to be your friend? How could I not wish to spend every moment of my life by your side? To live a life with you would satisfy my heart and make me whole. 
There’s a song a husband in my cabin sings at night to his wife. I’ve not heard it before, but I shall sing it to you soon. Amidst the second verse is the line, “Though our ship may rock when we dock, it shall always be you and I.” My Francine, know this is true between us. You are the steady shore I shall return to when this voyage is complete.  
Forever yours (If you’ll have me), 
Mabel
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August 7th, 1822
My Mabel, 
Oh, Mabel, it’s been but two weeks aboard this ship. I miss you so much it will bring me to insanity. I’m sure I’ve told those who share my cabin every detail of you. One of them, Darla, seems to actually be interested in those details. Though, she has shown interest in every topic of discussion in part because she has been quite seasick on our journey. Whatever the reason for her attention, I am grateful. 
She lends a listening ear whenever I begin to tell a tale of our life together. I have told her of your kindness and of the things you did for your community in England. The countless sleepless nights spent working to nurse the ill. I told her of your courage. How you continued to face the world even though it has taken so much from you. How you continue on as a widow. How you take life with all its good and all its bad and make it your own.  I told her of your scholarship and the way you’ve dedicated your life to study. Your wish to be a doctor and your dedication to your place as a midwife. I told her of your smile. The way your lips purse and your eyes sparkle. 
I find her listening ear most fortunate as I miss you. The only way to quell the pain of your absence is to speak of you to others. 
Mabel, I hope you are well. I worry when you are away from me. We have not been away from each other for this long in many, many years. I worry something will occur aboard the ship, which will cause you to react within yourself. Every time it happens, I feel the need to worry and dote on you.
 I do hope my doting helps you. You have not told me aloud that it does, but I believe it is gratefulness which I see upon your face in the wake of these moments. If the attention I give you does help, then will you be okay without it? Will things grow worse for you while we are away from each other? I feel your emotional pains have grown less frequent and less invasive over the years. What are we to do if this time apart removes what progress you have made? 
This is selfish of me to think of you, Mabel. It is not as though your emotions are dependent on my presence. Though, the reverse is true. I am miserable without you. I have grown used to you. I feel half of me is aboard another ship. I woke up two days ago to hear Darla speaking with her husband. For a moment, her voice sounded like yours -- gentle yet deliberate. It was morning, and my brain was hazy. I forgot I was aboard the ship without you. My heart warmed at the thought of a simple morning with you. I was nearly distraught when my senses returned. 
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It is as I told you as we were separated. I can’t do anything but miss you while we’re apart. I’m convinced it is impossible for my mind to stray from thoughts of you. I return to thoughts of you with near embarrassing frequency. 
Last night I was thinking of you, Mabel. One of the people staying with me, his name is James, brought along two books. He was reading one of them softly to Darla. I felt fortunate he was focused on Darla. He often tries to focus on me. James is convinced my life is incomplete. He is worried for I am unwed. I try to tell him I am not interested. He will not listen. However, when he was reading to Darla, he reminded me of you. I could think of no one else. 
Oh, how I love listening to you read me stories. It doesn’t matter the subject. I will listen attentively to anything you read aloud. You have an exquisite voice. You take such care to read accurately. Though you stumble on words, you dash back to correct yourself. These mistakes bother you. I can tell by the furrow of your brow when it occurs. I find your dedication to reading the words as they are written admirable. Your mannerisms when you fumble in fluency make my heart flutter. There is something vulnerable in your corrections. It reminds me you are not practiced in the art of public speaking. You merely read for me because I ask. I fall more in love with you in these moments. 
If only you loved me back in the same way, Mabel. That would make my life complete. I know it can’t be so. Even after all these years, you still see me as a friend. It would bring me grand euphoria if you saw me as more in a different way, a more romantic way. I am confident you do not. I would know if you did. As someone who has known you for so much of my life, I pride myself in knowing how to read you. I saw you in love with your husband Theodore before we lost him to time. 
You do not look at me as you looked at him. You look at me how you have always looked at me. You look at me as a friend and a companion in life. Perhaps one day, I will be lucky enough to be looked upon with romance. For now, I will cherish what we have. I shall not beg for anymore. To settle for friendship with you is to settle for the fortune of all the world’s empires. 
Goodness, this began as a letter to you. The final paragraphs have truly turned into a diary page. I shall try again to write to you. This time I will take more care to only write words which I wish for you to see. I shall still sign off, it feels rude otherwise. 
Until I see you again upon the shore, 
Francine
A note submitted with the letter
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To whom it may concern,
I found these two letters (journal entries?) in my apartment. According to my landlord, they must have been handed over as part of this apartment many times. They were never noticed because they were shut inside a book that had been placed on top of a high kitchen cabinet. After it was placed there, the ceiling sagged with age until it rested on the lip of the cabinet.
I had a leak elsewhere in the ceiling this summer, so my landlord had the whole thing replaced. I have been cleaning up after the construction and noticed there was now a gap between the ceiling and the cabinet. In that gap, I found a copy of Prometheus Unbound by Percy Shelly, which held these papers. 
When I asked my landlord who they could be from, he looked into the records of tenants from around when the letters were dated (August 1822). Two tenants lived here then: Melvin and Francine. Their last name is smudged in the old record book, so we can’t read it. They only lived in my building for about three months. 
Unfortunately, I don’t know more than that. A friend of mine recommended I turn them over to your archive.
Best, 
Ruby Dawson
Outroduction
So there’s a bit of an ambiguous ending after that paper stored with this story in the archival department of the New York Public Library. But I suppose we can hope that Mabel’s letter made it to Francine, and that is why they were able to be stored together. 
Either way, the pining words of these two women feel so familiar when I read them. The emotions they felt over 200 years ago resonate well today. 
Stay queer and take care of yourself, 
Chrys
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promptis-imagines · 5 years ago
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For some reason I think that the first time they went into battle together .Noct spent half the fight trying to protect Prom and almost wiped out because of it. Causing Prom to feel like Noct doesnt trust him enough to protect Noct
I can absolutely see things happening along that line. 
Prom joined the crownsguard so he could be by Noct’s side and protect him, show him that he’s all in and he wants his best friend to be okay. He went through all that just so he could do his part and show that he cares. 
So it hurts when they start their journey and go into action just for all of his actions to be stifled by Noct’s reckless abandon. At first he thinks that Noct is simply trying to go a little too hard in the battle, trying to prove himself or whatnot, but it becomes apparent pretty quickly that every hit he takes is to bar Prompto from the same fate. And it really isn’t fair that the one he’s trying to protect so much is refusing to let him do the job he’s worked so hard to do.
Actually you know what lemme just—
x
It hadn’t been long since their first encounter with a daemon. They were travelling at night, pushing forward in the Regalia on the prince’s insistence that they find a more suitable shelter for the night than a tent, when the huge beast had reared its ugly head to effectively block their path.
The ensuing battle was somewhat of a rude awakening for most of the group. Prompto, however, was geared up and ready for his first real shot at proving that he could protect the prince, that he wasn’t just dead weight on this trip; he wanted to prove that he was useful. 
But that opportunity was continually snatched away from him. Every time Prompto took aim, Noctis warped forward and plunged a sword into the target. Every time he stood his ground to parry an attack, Noctis was right there to knock him aside and deal with it himself. 
At first, Prompto assumed that Noctis was feeling the same way as him; he probably just wanted to show his skills in the real event. The thing was, his method was way too reckless, which Prompto thought would earn them a lecture from Ignis and Gladio about team dynamics. That thought helped to stifle Prompto’s frustration in the beginning. He didn’t want to believe that his best friend would intentionally bar him from playing his part.
It was when Noctis collapsed from a nasty hit that Prompto began to have other ideas.
Immediately after the beast fell, the other three were beside him, pulling out curatives and tending to the fallen prince. Prompto had shoved himself between Noctis and the ground, holding him partway in his lap while Ignis broke a potion over him.
Prompto thanked the gods that it seemed to do the trick. Even still, Noctis appeared ready to collapse again at any given moment. He supposed curatives could only do so much.
“Let’s continue to our destination. He’ll be better after a good night’s rest,” Ignis stated, already beginning to direct everyone back to the Regalia. 
Gladio helped Noctis to his feet with not as much care as Prompto would’ve hoped. Noctis made a soft groan in response, and Prompto bit his lip before rushing back to his side. “I got you, buddy,” he whispered, one arm anchored firmly around his best friend’s back.
The rest of the car ride hadn’t been nearly as eventful. Prompto rode in the back with Noctis nearly asleep against him, Ignis and Gladio took up the front seats, and there was virtually no talking. It made Prompto very aware of the lump in his throat.
Now they were finally checked into a small motel, and still, few words had been exchanged. Everyone looked tired, especially Noctis. 
All the while, Prompto’s mind had been racing with thoughts of what to say about the events that had just transpired. He knew that it hadn’t been an accident—Noctis had intentionally taken that hit in his place. Why? Sure, he was okay in the end, but what if he hadn’t been? This wasn’t the way things were supposed to go.
Ignis and Gladio took one room while Prompto and Noctis took the other. Prompto trudged inside, ready to fall straight into bed, but Noctis beat him to it. He sighed, opting to sit on the edge instead. They would probably take a bit to relax before showering.
The itchy fabric of the blanket under him had a few snagged threads near Prompto’s thigh. They felt like a good place to steer his attention, so he busied himself toying with them.
That is, until he was finally called out. 
He hadn’t even noticed the shift on the bed until Noctis was sitting beside and a little behind him. Prompto was hoping they could brush off this conversation this time and go to bed, but Noctis was already prodding at his shoulder.
“Hey, what’s up?” he asked. The usual impartial tone he sported was gone, replaced with the gentle concern he only really used when the two of them were alone.
Prompto bit his lip and stopped fiddling with the threads. After a brief debate about how he should answer, he spoke up quietly. “It’s...what happened earlier.”
A familiar warmth pressed close to his back, and soon Noctis’ head was on Prompto’s shoulder. He tried not to think about how they shouldn't be this close. “I’m fine, now. Promise. You don’t need to worry about me,” Noctis said.
It was supposed to sound reassuring, but Prompto’s irritation only began to bubble up. “That’s not what I’m trying to say. I mean, of course I’m glad you’re okay, but I just...” The tension in his shoulders wasn’t going away. “I’m upset,” he hissed. 
Noctis lifted his head, though he didn’t move away. “Oh. I think I get what you’re saying.” A long sigh fell from his lips, his hand rubbing along Prompto’s arm.
“You know, nobody is gonna fault you for going back home. It’s okay if you changed your mind about all this.”
Prompto all but fell off the bed. "What?" he exclaimed, whipping around to face Noctis with wide eyes. "You're joking, right?"
There was nothing but seriousness in Noctis' expression. "No, I'm not. I'm telling you right now that you still have an out. We can turn back around and drop you off at the wall. Hell, I'd even be up for renting chocobos if you want to ride back together. One last fun thing before…everything else." The way he spoke…he really was being serious.
Despite himself, Prompto felt his chest begin to constrict with short, mirthless laughs. "Oh, gods," he mumbled, burying his face in his palm for a few long moments. "So that's it. I was right. You see me as some kind of weak joke. That's really great news." He turned away. The lump in his throat was almost unbearable now.
"What are you talking about?" A hand fell on his shoulder, dragging his attention back to Noctis, whose eyes had narrowed.
Prompto shrugged off the touch. "What do you mean, 'what am I talking about?' You took every hit for me out there. You wouldn't let me do my job, and you got hurt in the process. That's not okay, Noct! You're too important for that," he stressed.
Irritation that had been building up since the fight was rushing through Prompto's head, making him want to pull his hair out. Instead, he got to his feet and began pacing at the foot of the bed. Noctis had started to stumble for words, but Prompto cut him off. "I'm not done," he stated firmly. "Before we left for this trip, I took a vow to protect you. I trained, and I worked so stupid hard to get here, to stay by your side when you needed it. And I know you had some reservations about that. But this is what I wanted, so you eventually let it go. But…" His shoes scuffed the ground as he stopped pacing. "But you didn't let it go, did you? You're still trying to get rid of me."
"That's really not what's going on here," Noctis countered. By now he was standing, too.
"No? Then why wouldn't you let me protect you today? Why is it that every time I try to help you out, you feel the need to stop me? Why did you jump at the chance to tell me I should leave?" Feeling the pressure build up behind his eyes, Prompto gripped the end of the bed until his knuckles went white. "You don't have to answer. I know why." He finally met Noctis' eyes again, and that's when the tears began to fall. "You don't trust me," he said quietly.
Finally, Noctis had his chance to speak, but he didn't right away. He looked shocked, and he obviously didn't know what to say. Prompto sniffled a bit and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. This was so pathetic. After giving that whole speech about not wanting to be perceived as a weakling, he was crying. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm too weak for this and I'll just slow you guys down. Is that why you're doing this?" he murmured.
Noctis took a tentative step forward. When Prompto didn't react, he took another. "It…it's not that I don't trust you. I don't want you to think that," he choked out. He sounded as pathetic as Prompto felt.
It took a moment, but Prompto pressed forward again. "Then why are you doing things that make me feel that way?" His words were less irritated before, but just as hurt. "I know we had to break things off because of you and Luna, and I won't pretend it doesn't still hurt. Do you think I'm gonna try and sabotage the wedding or something? B-Because I made a promise, Noct, that even if I couldn't be with you, I would do everything in my power to keep you safe and happy because—"
"Prom."
The stern tone of Noctis' words shut him up. The prince's hands were on his burning cheeks before he could process, forcing him to keep eye contact. He didn't want to admit it, but this direct connection, the first they'd shared in a while, was sending Prompto's poor heart into a frenzy.
Once he'd visually calmed down, Noctis went on. "Okay, you got me. Yes, I did all of that today to keep you out of it as much as possible," he admitted. Teeth scraped his bottom lip briefly before he spoke again. "But it's not because I don't trust you to protect me; I've seen your skills in action, and I know you're capable. It's that I don't want you to."
This time it was Prompto who wore the confusion. "Wh…what? Why?" His question was tinged with hurt.
The thumb on Prompto's cheek gently brushed along his skin. It felt nice. "Really? You can't tell what's going on here?" Noctis asked. Prompto was just glad he didn't sound accusatory.
 When he didn't receive an answer, Noctis sighed. "Prom, I trust you. I value you more than anything, and I know you'll do whatever it takes to get this done. That's the reason I was trying to make you go home. You're too damn determined to protect me."
 Prompto's brow furrowed. "Isn't that a good thing?"
 "In theory, yeah," Noctis said, "but we can't predict this situation. If you see me as more important, then you're going to put your life on the line for me if something happens. When I saw that daemon lunge for you, all I could see were images of you dying in my place, and it scared me so much. I just…I can't have that. I'm not worth more than you." His hands were still on Prompto's cheeks. Neither of them made a move to stop it yet.
 "But you kind of are," Prompto whispered. "You're important to the whole world. You have so much you're going to do. That's more than I'm destined for, for sure."
 Noctis' hold finally relaxed, and his hands dropped to Prompto's shoulders. That sad, serious look never left him. "Not to me. You're everything to me," he muttered. "You've been so focused on making sure I'm happy, you aren't letting me do the same for you. I know you want things, there's no way you can—"
 "I want you, Noct," Prompto interrupted. "But I can't have you. And I have to accept that. So please, don't make this harder than it already is. I can hardly bear it." Another tear trailed down his cheek. He placed a hand over Noctis'. "Let me protect you until I can't. That's the next best thing for me. Please, Noct," he finished. He wanted this to be final. He wanted so much, but right now, he wanted Noctis to settle for this option.
 He heard Noctis' breath hitch, saw the hesitation in the twitch of his lips. This wasn't easy for either of them. "I don't want to lose you," he finally said with a tremble in his voice.
 The tiniest smile touched Prompto's lips. "I'm right here, aren't I? But I don't want to lose you, either. That means no more throwing yourself in front of me like you kept doing today," he warned.
 Noctis' shoulders sagged. "You can't tell me that if you plan on doing the same thing later."
 "Well…" He wanted to argue, but that had sort of been his plan from the beginning. "We could go back and forth on this all night. I have my stance, and you have yours," he stated. It didn't matter what Noctis thought; one of their lives was more valuable in the grand scheme of things.
 The grip on his shoulder tightened slightly. "So I should just settle for yours?" Noctis returned.
 Prompto nodded. "I think you should. Because just this once, I'm taking a stand. I'm not settling for yours."
 There was another tense pause. Noctis seemed to physically deflate as his hands fell to his sides once more. "I'm sorry. I still don't think I should be putting you through this. Not after you already gave up so much." A short huff passed his lips. "Why did you have to be so damn stubborn?"
 Somehow, Prompto managed another quiet laugh. "Guess you chose a terrible best friend," he commented with a slight wave of his hand.
 With a slight shake of his head, Noctis cast his gaze to the floor. "No, I chose the most amazing one. And I let go of the best boyfriend," he murmured.
 Prompto bit the inside of his cheek, the fun moment fading. "Noct…we talked about this before the trip. It's okay," he spoke softly, though he couldn't contain the slight crack in his voice as he said it. None of this way okay. It was necessary. The situation was out of their hands; just a bad hand that was dealt to them.
 They probably shouldn't have shared a room, after all, but they had been too tired to think that through. Because when Noctis took Prompto's hand right there, standing in this dingy motel, Prompto felt the pain in his heart cry out.
 "Can we sit back down?" Noctis asked.
 After a silent nod from Prompto, the pair returned to the edge of the bed. They sat side by side, still holding onto each other's hand like a lifeline between them. Both of them had their heads down.
 "I'm just gonna say it. I don't think I can go through with this."
 It was Prompto who looked to Noctis first. "What?"
 Noctis rubbed his thumb along the other's hand. "My marriage with Luna. I can't do it," he reiterated.
 Prompto's mouth fell dumbly open for a few moments before he shook it off. "B-But…don't you have to? You can't just throw all of that away, can you?" Of course, with the drastic change of plans that were seemingly everywhere, maybe that wasn't the case anymore.
 "I can try," Noctis continued. "We were supposed to be married for the sake of peace, but the Niffs already don't seem to be treating that pact seriously. If I just stop this mess, get through to the end." He closed his eyes and inhaled slowly. "Our countries can find some other way to bridge the gap and mend all of this. But I have to call off the wedding," he stated.
 "Wait a second," Prompto interjected. "Don't go that far until you've thought it through. What about all the good that could come from being with her? There's all those political advantages, and-and she's really pretty, and I'll bet she likes you a lot."
 His heart was racing all the way up in his throat. Noctis couldn't possibly be considering giving up everything for him. He hated to admit it, but Prompto had known since they first started dating that he was eventually going to lose Noctis to someone of actual importance. Especially now, with the world in the state that it was in, that was what the country needed. Someone smart and capable to stand by the king and rule alongside him. Not Prompto Argentum. He couldn't bring himself to admit those feelings, though, so maybe he could convince Noctis to make the right choice in other ways.
 He only now realized that Noctis had gone quiet again. Prompto squeezed his hand. "Please don't throw away what's important," he said, just above a whisper.
 Noctis looked up. There was the faintest hint of tears brimming in his eyes. "I'm trying not to. That's what I'm doing right now. Don't treat me like they do, Prom, like I'm some pawn that can be tossed around for political reasons. If you're really so concerned about my happiness, then give me this," he practically begged. "Let me fight for us. You're what keeps me going through everything, and I don't want that to stop."
 A beat later, he went on. "I shouldn't have tried to keep you away. I'm sorry. But if you want it, then I'm asking for you to stay with me through this, and forever after that. Please." He lifted Prompto's hand, and he felt his genuine longing in the way his lips pressed to his knuckles. "Let me try. These last few weeks have been shit. I know I couldn't handle more of not being with you," he murmured.
 Prompto was near trembling. Noctis' cool eyes bore into his widened ones, waiting for an answer from the stricken man. Finally, after swallowing the lump in his throat, he spoke. "It's gonna be hard."
 "I know."
 "And being with me is gonna make so many people unhappy."
 "I know."
 "Noct, are you sure?"
 "Absolutely."
 The conviction in his voice sent a shiver down Prompto's spine. For a moment, everything was going to be okay. He let that fantasy take hold of his thoughts.
 When Prompto didn't speak right away, Noctis took it upon himself and brought his other hand up to hold. "You and I can do this. You protect me, and I'll protect you. That's what I'm suggesting. And I trust you to make it there with me," he said.
 Fresh tears spilled down Prompto's cheeks, and he nodded with a sniffle. "Okay. I can deal with that," he murmured.
 Once again, Prompto found a warm hand on his cheek, only this time he leaned into it instantly. Then they were so close that their foreheads touched. "Great. Now you're stuck with me. Probably for life," Noctis gently teased.
 Prompto laughed a little more outright. "Gods, and you called me stubborn? Moron."
 "I guess I won't deny that." Noctis closed the distance and pressed their lips together, making Prompto's cheeks flare up with heat as if they were on their first date again. "And you're still a flustered mess. Nice to know."
 That earned Noctis a shove, and Prompto covered his red cheeks with a pout. "Watch it," he warned. Moments later, they were both laughing.
 He'd missed this, and he knew Noctis did as well. If that stubborn dork could really fight for this, and they could pull through together…well, Prompto wouldn't call that a bad deal. For the first time in a while, he felt a tinge of hope blooming in his chest.
 "Noct?"
 "Hm?"
 Prompto cupped the other's cheek and leaned in for another kiss. He let it linger, pulling back slowly and staying close even after. "I love you. Thanks for letting me come along," he whispered.
 Noctis gave a tiny nod. "I love you, too. Thanks for always protecting me."
 A genuine smile tugged at Prompto's lips. "Anytime. Now, I think we both need a shower," he pointed out. They were still a bit gross, and tomorrow would probably prove to be a long day as well. They needed this while they could have it.
 Noctis stood up and stretched. "Good idea. But I think a better idea would be showering together," he argued.
 That got a snort in response. "Did I suggest anything else?"
 They shared another laugh and began to get undressed. There was a long road ahead for them, both in the near and distant future, but that was okay. Prompto felt confident that they could get through it all. But for now, they had this night to enjoy being in each other's arms with the hope that they could spend every other night in the same way. And he was okay with that, too. 
x
So sorry this took so long! I also added a few extra little plot points, but I hope you like it :)
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glassartpeasants · 3 years ago
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That ending was a stab on the heart from beginning to end I'm gonna steal bob 🏃🏾‍♀️
The One That Got Away
Shigaraki x GN!Reader
Warnings: Angst, cheating, death
A/N: Don’t threaten Bob
~~~
The bed felt different after that night.
2 months ago you had caught Shigaraki cheating on you with someone random woman. You stood in the doorway just watching, trying to find the words to say but nothing came out. It’s only when you dropped your groceries and your present to him is when he noticed your presence.
*flashback*
“Shit! (Y/N) it’s not what it looks like-” He tripped over his words. You said nothing as you just looked at him, knowing that no matter how much you loved him that there was nothing that could ever make you forget this.
“Fuck just say something!” You were still silent as you dropped the groceries you were holding. It just wasn’t clicking for you. How could he do this to you? what had you done wrong?
“What did I do wrong?” Your voice seemed to echo throughout the room. Nobody said anything. Until she spoke up.
“Oh my god, Im so sorry! I didn’t know he was taken! Please forgive me.” The girl spoke as she jumped outta bed and started putting her clothes on.
“It’s okay. I forgive you.” Those words spilled from your mouth before you could actually say anything you meant. The girl had hugged you before saying she was so sorry a final time. Flipping off Shiggy on the way out.
“(Y/N)...i promise we can talk about this.” You just kept looking at him. Those eyes seemed to burn into his soul. He doesn’t think you noticed the tears spilling from your eyes. He was about to say something to you but you started to walk towards him. Thinking he was gonna get hit he just stood still before feeling your part of the bed dip.
He turns around to see you laying there, eyes still open with tears rushing down your face, your clothes of the day still on your body.
Shigaraki tried to put his arms around you but you had hit his hands back. and used your feet to push him to the edge of the bed while you laid clung to the wall.
*flashback over*
Thinking back on it you don’t know why you didn’t just walk away. Maybe you were to tired from being busy and running errands for him all day? Did you want it to be a bad dream and hope to walk up to realize nothing ever happened? Whatever the reason was, you weren’t sure but a part of you wishes that you left that night.
Now you sit at the bar, sitting far away from what use to be your boyfriend, not even taking a glimpse of him and he knew it. You just sat in the corner drinking and looking on your phone until a familiar smell approached you. 
“Oh hey Dabi.”
“Hey there (Y/N), why aren’t you hanging out with crusty over there? He keeps staring at you and the tension in here could be cut with a knife. It’s been two months and apparently everyone said i should ask what's going on.”
“Im not going near him at the moment. We’re on a break per say.” this seemed to peak Dabi’s interest as he leaned closer.
“Oh? Did crusty do something?  Your secret's safe with me, i swear on my soul.” What did it matter if you told Dabi? He already doesn’t respect Shigaraki so why not, plus, so what if that fuck didn’t want anyone knowing, he shouldn’t have cheated when everyone else was sleeping in the base.
“Don’t tell anyone I told you but, 2 months ago I caught Shigaraki cheating on me...” You felt small tears prickle the corner of your eyes. Bringing your hand up to your face you rub it away, hoping to ignore the pain that was banging against your chest.
“What a dick, wanna make him pay?” You look up at Dabi who had a huge grin on his face. You thought about it for a good few seconds before shaking each others hand.
“Once Shigaraki goes out on that mission today, we’ll talk more.” Dabi said before getting up from his seat and grabbing a drink from the bar.
You didn’t know what Dabi had planned but you hoped it would bring Shigaraki the same pain you felt that fateful night 2 months ago.
~~~
You sat on the ground in Dabi’s room as he paced back in forth, coming up with revenge plans. All of them sucked or ended up with you guys might going to Jail.
“New plan, everytime Shigaraki wants to hang out tell him you had plans with me and leave the room. You can go somewhere and i’ll go somewhere with you. Effectively ditching him.” Thinking, you try to come up with all the pros and cons this proposal Dabi shared with you. But soon your hurt over ruled the logical side of you and you agreed to it not a moment later.
“Great! Now all we need is for Shigaraki to ask to hang out with you. Don’t know how long that’ll take though...”
“I usually ignore him after what happened but sometimes he asks to hang out with me whenever its a slow day at the base or if he’s bored.”
“ Well guess we have to wait tell then huh?” Nodding your head, you get up before putting a thumbs up in his direction. You walked out of his room and see Shigaraki sitting at the bar. He must have finished his mission early. You rolled your eyes before sitting on the other side of the bar counter. You could feel shigaraki look at you through father.
“Hey....”
“.....”
“Look im sorry, a-and i know that doesn’t excuse what I did but please-” You got up before he could finishing his sentence as you walked towards your shared bedroom. Going in there use to give you comfort but now everytime you step into that room you see that fateful night over and over again.
You sat on the bed before hearing Shigaraki’s footsteps coming towards the room. Furrowing your brows, you ignore him as you put your shoes on. You needed a little bit of fresh air so you were planning on going to the local park to relax a bit. You weren’t a villain like the rest of them, you were just a simple civilian. Not that you minded really. It was peaceful not fearing for your life everyday and having the fear of failure not on your shoulders.
You didn’t really have a quirk so you just ignored the questions when people asked you if you had one. 
“Can I talk to you?” You were dragged back to reality when Shigaraki’s voice rang through your ears. Annoyed you just answered hoping that the conversation would be short. 
“What do you want?” You voice was snappy and you could feel the venom dripping from it.
“I understand that your mad. And you have every right to be but your not even giving me a chance to redeem myself and-”
“Redeem yourself? Why the hell would I do that? YOU cheated on ME. LIke hell im gonna forgive you so easily.”
“It’s been two months! What happened was in the past!”
“It was in the past my ass. How would you like it to see your lover in bed with another?!”
“I-”
“I felt like my soul died that day. I thought I was your only one! Only to find out that you slept with her! Was she a one time thing or were there more hookups?!” You stood up from the bed as your fists turned white and your anger slowly erupting.
“.....”
“TELL ME DAMNIT!”
“Three...there were three different occasions...” Now the tears were kicking in. You were hoping that it wasn’t true. What if there was more and he was only saying three just to ease your heart?
“Why? Why would you do this to me? What did I do to deserve this?” Your questions were like knives stabbing into Shigaraki’s heart. He wanted to tell you the truth, but he didn’t want your heart to hurt more than it already was.
“Im not going to ask again Shigaraki. You either tell me the truth or I will walk out of this base and never come back.”
“The...the first time it was a drunk accident, the second time Dabi had brought her to the base and one thing led to another. The last one was the same as the second one.”
“Did...did Dabi know about the affair?” You were begging, no pleading for him not to have known. You didn’t know if your heart could take it.
“Yes...” That was it. That was the thing that broke you. Walking up to Shigaraki you pushed past him before flipping him off and saying one final line.
“I would rather die that ever be with you again.” And with that, you left the hideout. You speed walked through the alleys to get to you parked your car. Your friends house was pretty far and you didn’t feel like walking in the dead of night were criminal activity was more active. 
Getting in your car, you turn on the radio and start breaking down. Your tears were blurring your eyesight as you put the car in drive. 
The streets weren’t busy except for the occasion car with some college students. Or drunk people walking along the sidewalk. The sound of the radio blasting songs that were supposed to be happy barley brightened up your mood as you drove down the dark highways.
All of a sudden a bright light hit your eyes from the right side. Some fuck must have had their brights on. But you had the right away so you went. All of a sudden a huge crash rang through your ears and the world became dark.
~~~
A ring came from Shigaraki’s phone. Looking at the clock he noticed it to be 2am. Annoyed he just decided to answer it.
“Hello, this is (hospital name). You were listed under a emergency contact for (Y/N) (L/N).” Shigaraki jolted awake as his hands reached his neck, standing up and already begun to pace the floor of his room.
“Yes did something happen?!”
“At 12am tonight miss (Y/N) was in a car crash. A hit and run to be exact. Their car was totalled after it rolled about 3 times from the speed that the driver hit them. A bystander of the accident called 119. They were in need of surgery immediately once paramedics noticed that they were crushed and bleeding out quickly due to a shard of glass that was stabbed in their chest.”
“Are they okay?!” The doctor on the other end went silent.
“Im deeply sorry for your lost sir. They died during surgery trying to remove the glass that was lodged in their skin. The police are on the look for the suspect. if you wish to see them were on (blank street). Once again, im sorry for your loss. Goodnight sir.” The phone went silent as the doctor hung up. 
Everything seemed to stop as the feared villain feel to his knees. Tears fell from his eyes as his body shook. He realized that now it was impossible to even try. And the last words you had ever said were ‘ you’d rather die than ever be with him again.’ Crying into his hands as his tears made a puddle on the floor.
I guess you took your words seriously.
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the-only-ace · 3 years ago
Note
Hey I know you are really busy with all the request and job and all that but can you do shinee's reaction to s/o stealing their t-shirts and hoodies?? You can make them one shots of you want too😁
shinee reacts: their s/o wearing their clothes
heyyy~ i really liked this request because i personally love to do this. for this request, i want to try something new since you gave me an idea with the one-shots part. so instead of describing their reactions, i'll convey it in a form of a short story. it will still be per member! i hope you will like this one (heads up though, the posts is a bit longer than my usual shinee reacts) <3
p.s. if you guys can, kindly let me know if you like this kind of format for shinee reacts. thank you!
send in your requests here!
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onew / jinki: you sighed for the nth time within just 10 short minutes. you were staring and pouting in front of your closet for you can't find the perfect clothes for your brunch date with onew. it was a hot day today and you just wanted to wear something cute but comfortable. however, it seems like your wardrobe doesn't offer that kind of outfit.
your eyes slowly traveled toward onew's part of the closet. his side was full of quirky graphic tees which you always find adorable. you don't usually borrow his clothes but you can't help but to take a peek at them and take the one that caught your eyes.
it was a white oversized shirt with a cute box cartoon drawn in front of it. you tried it on and it stopped perfectly on your thighs, making it look like a cute dress. surprisingly, it even matches the pair of sneakers you were wearing.
before you can even decide whether you were keeping it on or not, onew walked into your room. his hair a bit damp and he was only wearing a towel considering that he just took a shower.
"oh, is that my shirt?" he pointed at you.
"uh... yeah. do you mind? i just wanted to wear something that is yours." you sheepishly replied.
"no problem!" he beamed his big bright smile before proceeding to get his own outfit.
you muttered a thank you then went to your vanity to finish touching up your makeup. afterward, you grabbed your phone and wallet and placed them inside your shoulder bag.
"alright, I'm ready to go..." you trailed off as you saw what he looked like. "what the hell are you wearing, lee jinki?"
"your shirt?" he raised an eyebrow, clearly feigning ignorance.
he was wearing your favorite grey t-shirt and it looked pitiful on him, it was as if it can tear at any moment. it barely covered his abdomen and was stretched to its limit.
"no shit, sherlock." you facepalmed at his usual weirdness. "what i want to know is why... why are you wearing it?"
"i thought we were doing a thing wherein we wear each other's clothes." he shrugged as if his response should be expected.
"what? no! please have mercy on my shirt and put on your own clothes." you can't help but laugh at him as you pushed him back to the dresser.
"alright, alright! i just wanted to make you laugh and look, it worked perfectly." he playfully pinched the tip of your nose before taking off the top he borrowed. "also, you should keep that shirt since it looks a hundred--no, million--times better on you."
"thanks, love," you whispered as you wrapped your arms around his waist and pulled him into a warm hug.
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key / kibum:
after the long busy months, you were finally having a girl's night with your best friends. you stood in front of the full-length mirror in your room to give yourself a final check. your hair was styled into textured waves and your lips were colored with the boldest red lipstick you can find. your nude heels matched the little black dress you were wearing. your outfit looked almost perfect and you just knew what you were missing. you quickly snatched key's gold leather jacket and put it on. ah, perfection.
this was the norm for you. your boyfriend's wardrobe was beyond incredible especially his outerwear collection and you just had to wear them every chance you can get. to be honest, key was very stubborn in letting you borrow his clothes... at first. after all the compromising, begging, and crying you made, he eventually budged and gave up. of course, it does not come for free. he practically made you sign a contract that once you stained his clothes, you have to shoulder the bill of the laundry and the shop will be chosen by him. however, if you damaged or god forbid, lost his clothes, you have to replace them. you immediately said yes to all of the conditions in a heartbeat. so far you only paid for 2 incredulously expensive laundry bills.
now, you were finally ready to leave. you walked out of the bedroom and made your way down the living room. there, key was sitting on the couch watching one of his favorite tv series.
"I'll be going out now," you announced as you grab your car keys near the front door.
"hey, hey, hey!" key clicked his tongue upon seeing your clothes. he was now looking behind his shoulder and giving you a stink eye. "is that my jacket?"
"um... maybe?" you gave him an awkward smile.
"of course, it's mine." he shook his head disapprovingly. "only i can pull that off, by the way." he sassily added.
"wow, i didn't know the fashion police was here. you should have given me a head's up, babe ." you bit back with a scoff. the last time you checked, you looked damn fine in it.
"just stating facts, baby," he replied in english.
"alright, then why don't you take me shopping then? so you can buy me a new set of clothes that will satisfy your standards." you challenged and if he said yes, you were clearly the winner.
"excuse me, i do call you 'baby' but i am not your sugar daddy. go now, you'll be late." he shooed you off.
"okay bye," a playful smirk appeared on your face. "daddy."
this made key rolled his eyes before turning his back on you. he would very much rather ignore you if you keep on acting that way.
"it's bye now, for real." you giggled as you open the door. "love you!" you called out before stepping out.
"love you too, brat." key mumbled with a small smile.
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minho:
winter was approaching and the air was slowly becoming colder than usual. it was the best time to stay in the comfort of your warm home and enjoy hot cocoa with your loved ones. a perfect time to wear your sweaters and hoodies indoors. however, this was not the case for minho for his favorite hoodie was missing.
"hey, babe?" he called out from the bedroom. "have you seen my black hoodie? the one with the white writings on it."
"what's that, i didn't hear you?" you went inside a few seconds later.
and there it was, his favorite hoodie being worn by his favorite person. you looked smaller while wearing it since it was way too big for you. the hem almost touched your knees and your whole arms were lost inside the sleeves. he can't help but smile at the sight.
"nothing, i was just looking for my hoodie but it looks like i found it." he gestured at the clothes you were wearing.
"oh, shoot. sorry, i didn't tell you that i borrowed it." you hit your forehead with your palm.
"it's okay. you're free to use them anytime, anyway." he patted the top of your head.
within the last few weeks, minho noticed that you sometimes wear his clothes. it was not a daily thing though and you even asked for his permission. slowly, it became every day and he would just be surprised to see you walking around the house parading his jackets and sweaters. he didn't mind it though, he was just curious about what you do to your own clothing. also, he hoped that he still had some remaining tops for himself during the cold season.
well, guess luck was not on his side.
his eyes were staring at his closet wherein there was only one jacket left, one. you followed his gaze and you promptly felt the warmth raised to your cheeks. you were surely red from embarrassment now. you were happily wearing his clothes that you didn't have the time to count how much was left.
"oh my god, i'm sorry! i didn't--" you cut yourself off as you watched him put on the lone jacket from his dresser. "i'm sorry, i didn't notice it. i just... can't help myself. your jackets are so comfortable and warm compare to mine." you tried to explain yourself. also not to mention that they all smelled just like him.
"don't worry about it." he reassured you as he placed his arm around your shoulder. "just be mindful next time. i might end up half-naked someday, you know."
"how can you be so sure that's not my goal?" you teased before sticking your tongue out.
he laughed at your silliness and then pressed a soft kiss on your warm forehead. you decided to make a cup of hot cocoa for him as a peace offering.
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taemin:
it was past midnight and it was raining cats and dogs outside. you visited taemin in his apartment for a stay-at-home dinner date but a storm came before you can even go back home. taemin then convinced you to spend the night there instead. it was not a big deal anyway since you stayed over a lot of times already. you just didn't bring your sleepover bag with you and the dress you were wearing was definitely not comfortable to sleep on.
your caring boyfriend of course promised to ease your worries. the two of you shared a warm bath after dinner and he lent you his clothes for you to change to. so that was how you ended up on his couch, fighting off sleep because the show you both were watching always had a cliffhanger ending per episode. you two needed some answers before you can drift off to sleep peacefully. it was the weekend tomorrow anyway so staying up late won't hurt that much.
your head was laying on his lap while his right hand was playing on the locks of your hair and his left one was comfortably resting on the top of your hip. his hand would occasionally rub circles on the exposed skin. as much as you hate to move from your cozy spot, you had to or else you might end up dozing off right there and then. not to mention, him playing on your hair does not help at all.
you slowly got up from the sofa as you tried to stifled a yawn. "i'll just go get some cold drink." you pushed yourself up from your seat.
you then raised your arms and stretched with a satisfied groan. your shoulders and back were sore after laying down for more or less 3 hours. you can even hear your joints cracking from stretching out. also, you felt the shirt you were wearing raised up.
taemin's shirts were not overly huge for you whenever you wore them. the hem barely covered your behind and right now you were sure that a tiny portion of your buttcheeks was peeking through the white tee. you weren't conscious about it, taemin saw much more than that anyway.
suddenly, you felt a slap across your behind which made you freeze on your spot. you looked behind and saw your boyfriend confidently leaning on the couch with his legs crossed.
"did you just slap my butt?" you inquired.
"uh-huh," he nodded with a cocky grin. "want me to spank you again?"
you frowned a little as you processed the sudden change of mood. taemin won't deny it though, seeing you in his shirts always made his heart skip a bit and his breathing ragged. you always looked effortlessly sexy in them.
"sure, why not?" you replied wickedly after a few seconds of silence.
taemin processed your answer in a split second and he hastily grabbed you by the waist and threw you on his broad shoulders. he did not forget you give you another smack on the ass when he made his way toward the bedroom, the television was completely forgotten.
234 notes · View notes
softitae · 4 years ago
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S o u l m a t e | oneshot
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▶ summary: One day you feel a heath spreading through your body. You don’t know what this means, until you finally see him... Your soulmate.
▶ genre: slight angst, fluff, smut (Wolf!au | soulmate!au)
▶ word count:
▶ warnings: Alpha Jungkook, Omega reader, mentions of rape/drugs, physical pain, heath, impregnating, mating, knotting, imprinting, oral, swearing, degrading, wall-sex, floor-sex, choking.
▶ A/N: heyyy, this is my first story on this account :). Hope y’all will like it! Basically is this just a story about wolf soulmates going at it, sooooo... enjoy? HAHA
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It was a hot and blooming summer when it happened. It was late noon when you were quitely washing some dishes in your apartment. It was indeed quiet, even peacefully I might add. The water was rushing over a cup as you were working hard on removing that one irritating spot. The day had been just as placid. You have run your errands after meeting up with some friends at a local park. 
‘You are looking a bit pale y/n, are you okay?’ your best friend asked. You frown at her, ‘Yeah I am alright’. You replied, but you deep down knew something was up. Since the moment you had stepped out of your bed that morning, your senses were heightened. Something was coming, but you couldn’t quite figure out if this were to be positive or negative. You had shrugged off this creeping feeling for the rest of the day. With every minute you could feel it getting worse, but you continued shrugging it off. ‘It must be a little summer flue...’ You had mumbled to yourself as you were trying to focus back on your dishes.  
You couldn’t really describe it. It was this heath from your core, burning hotter by the second. It wasn’t anything like your heath, because you have had those a few times already. It wasn’t the time for it too, so why are you feeling this strong urge? And what is the urge for? These kind of questions kept popping up in your head as you finally finished your duties for the day. It was only when you put away the last dish, you yelled very loudly.
Your body was suddenly on fire from the inside and you couldn’t help yourself but to let yourself lay down on the cold floor. Your pulse was high and your body was covered in sweat. ‘What the fuck is going on?’ you yelled out, trying to get a grip on yourself. It wasn’t long before you totally blacked out, losing to the strong sickening feeling. 
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‘What the hell happened?’ Jimin asks Jungkook worryingly as Jungkook finally opened his eyes . Jungkook sits up first, rubbing his eyes as his vision was a bit blurry. He looks up to his towering older friend Jimin, frowning as he tries to stabalize his body. ‘You just suddenly blacked out’, Jimin elaborates and that made Jungkook even more confused. Jungkook looks around him and notices they are located on a sidewalk near the center of the city. Jungkook tries to recall what had happened before he blacked out, but couldn’t remember anything about a life-threatening situation. As he is an alpha, it also couldn’t be his health. So what happened? 
‘I really don’t know hyung, the only thing that I can remember is that I have had a weird feeling all day’, Jungkook explains as Jimin helps him get up to his feet. ‘What sort of feeling?’ Jimin asks. ‘Well, I just feel some kind of heath in my core and a weird urge to go east.’. Jimin looks even more confused than before. They both continued to walk down the street, heading to their new apartment they had bought together. ‘I don’t know man, maybe there is some coke left in your system from yesterday’, Jimin laughed as he gave Jungkook a pat on the shoulder. Jungkook hissed at that, showing that Jimin has gone too close to his boundaries. Though Jimin is older, Jungkook is the alpha and will always hold authority. 
Jimin and Jungkook both came from the same school and both their packs were very close with each other, so they connected in a very brotherly way. Jimin as a beta and Jungkook as an alpha. Their classes would clash pretty much all the time and would Jungkook have to correct Jimin more often than not. But for a pack is this pretty normal. It is also Jungkook’s job to keep everyone in place and to make them aware who is the boss. Though this is a very primary instinct of Jungkook, it isn’t something he likes to do. He only corrects his pack when he has to. 
‘The only thing I can imagine is that your soulmate is nearby’, Jimin suggested and Jungkook let out a little chuckle. ‘That rarely ever happens and I can hardly imagine it would make me faint’, he reasons and Jimin agrees. 
They finally arrive at the apartment block as Jungkook can feel the same heath returning to his body. His senses have now shifted to the north, as if the thing he urges has moved. He looks confused around him. There is no person to be seen, only a few buildings. He couldn’t help but to set his focus on the north, looking at the building across. He can feel it, he is supposed to be there. But why? What can be in that building that is this important, that every fiber in his body urges for it?
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A loud uneasy noise fills your room just when the light of dawn hits your window. Early, it is very early. You haven’t been awake this early for 2 months when your school year ended. But here you are again, up and ready to begin a new year. Though you are excited for it, the uneasy feeling hasn’t left you. It didn’t go down at all, maybe it even worsened. You hadn’t fainted from it though, like a week back. Luckily your roommate came home just a few minutes after, discovering your body laying helplessly against the kitchen tiles. She is human and in a world where the wolves are hidden, her logical response was to call the emergency number. 
The separation of the two kinds has been here for a long time. The threat your kind holds over the humans always has been a big problem. Many wars have past for the wolves to realize that humans can’t live with the idea of a superior species living among them. With technology still developing, which could make great damage to you, was there a collective decision to hide for the humans. As centuries past, humans were quick to forget the many wars you have fought. 
Many believe werewolves are just a fable and you like to keep it this way. So when your roommate was waiting for the ambulance to arrive and you came back to your senses, you were quick to call off the ambulance. ‘What are you doing? You just blacked out, you need medical help!’, your roommate yelled out in disbelieve. You tried to explain nothing is going on and you weren’t in any sort of pain. ‘I just haven’t eaten yet today, nothing else’. It took you a while to calm her down and you can’t blame her. You would probably react the same way if it was you who found her like that. A wolf is just way stronger and build different, so when they would examine you in the hospital, someone would definitely get suspicious. 
The past week your roommate has been keeping an eye on you. She made sure you were eating enough. It is like having a mother all over again, while it was your intention to escape being nursed all the time. Although you got quite annoyed with her this past week, you couldn’t help but to appreciate her at the same time. What a world it would be if humans could live without fear for your kind like this. Needing such harsh adjustments to the point you can’t be who you are, only to protect yourself is just lunatic. But it is a rule all packs live by and you aren’t one to break these rules. 
Your feet hit the cold wooden floor of your cozy room. 7:00 am, reads your alarm clock located on your nightstand. A sigh leaves your lips as you build up the courage to begin the day. Your first day of the new school year was going to be promising. A lot of classes are added and you will be with a new group of people. Your old class was great too, but you are in need for some change. With this constant burning feeling in your core you have had for the past week, you know something will definitely be different. 
You go along your usual morning routine before picking your new favurite outfit. You packed your books and got out to the living room, where your roommate was peacefully eating some cereal.
‘Good morning!’, you great her, and she throws you a smile back. ‘Morning babe! You are looking so great!’, She comments, nudging at your clothing. You give her a wink,’Yeah I got it last week, thought I give myself a few nice things before starting the school year’. Your roommate agrees before she resumed eating her breakfast. 
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Jimin sighs upon seeing Jungkook’s sweaty body. He is cramped up in his bed, a frown on his face as he made little wines in his sleep. Tossing and turning has been a reoccurring theme these past few days. Jimin doesn’t know what to do with him. It looks like he is sick, but being a very strong guy and an alpha, is sickness very rare. So what’s going on? 
He gives Jungkook a small nudge on his shoulder, waking him up softly. Jimin isn’t about to make the same mistake as yesterday. Jimin woke up Jungkook a bit more aggressive and Jungkook lashed out immediately, giving Jimin a little cut on his cheek. He would have pouted at Jungkook, whom would apologize for his weird behavior. 
‘First day at school Cookie, get up’, he taunted in his ear, lowering to Jungkook’s level. Jungkook grunted as he slowly wakes up, turning around to look at his hyung. He lets out a sigh before sitting up straight, hands finding his face as he rubs his eyes. ‘Hyung I can’t do this any longer, my body feels so hot all the time’, Jungkook starts complaining and Jimin sits next to him, sighing along. ‘I know Jungkookie, but I am sure it will fly over. Maybe today will get your mind on other things’, Jimin says, trying to elevate the mood. Jungkook lets out a growl under his breath, anger suddenly building up in his body. Jimin immediately gets off the bed to give Jungkook space, which was a right move because Jungkook grabs a book laying beside him before throwing it through the room. ‘I just don’t fucking want this anymore! Why is this happening to me?!’, Jungkook yells in frustration. Jimin sighs again ‘I don’t know Jungkook, but acting like this won’t solve anything. Why don’t you focus on your new school? There will be a lot of great omega’s there for you to get your anger out on’, Jimin suggested, and he notices Jungkook’s ears perking up by that. Jimin chuckles before making his way out of the room. ‘I guess that wouldn’t hurt’, Jungkook mutters under his breath before getting out of bed and starting his day with a shower. 
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It’s 8:30 am when you arrive at your first class of the day. A few other students were already seated in the lecture hall. You could smell the difference of people looming around. A few humans, but also a few wolves were located inside the room. As you are an omega yourself, some wolves stand a threat against you. Though you have learned how to avoid other alpha’s and beta’s, you have had your fair share of degrading in your life. But because you are in a room full of humans, degrading isn’t allowed for any of the wolves. That way your species gets protected. So you aren’t scared to walk into a lecture hall full of wolves, because you know they won’t do anything. 
You take a seat somewhere in the middle where no one is around and start to unpack. It was when you were finished setting up, your brewing hotness of the past week suddenly turns up a notch. You frown at yourself as you feel your stomach. Your skin is somewhat on fire and you begin to feel very uncomfortable. You wiggle around on your spot, almost squirming at this feeling. The thing you have urged for is coming closer. You begin to look around you furiously, but not knowing what you’re looking for. Fuck what is going on with me. 
And it was then that it hits you. A story your grandma told you long ago finally serviced. She told you about having a soulmate and that everyone has them. When they come closer, your whole body comes in action. You have the urge to go to them and if you don’t, your body will try to fight your will. She explained that every soulmate couple has a different reaction to that. For her and grandpa it was feeling a very harsh headache. For you it was heath. It is your soulmate, it has to be your soulmate. Are you even ready for this? Do you want to commit to someone this early on? What if he is aggressive or worse, what is he’s an alpha? That won’t be a happy relationship, that will be endless terror. 
As the heath began spreading through your body and your head spinning with horrific thoughts, you automaticlly started packing all your stuff. You were scared for what might come, what person your soulmate might be. It might be the end of you, but you know just as well that the feeling won’t stop until you see him. So, you will see him, for one second and then you will go your separate ways. 
Then the feeling suddenly stopped. A shiver goes through your body as you look at the entrance door. There he is. Your hearth started to race as the both of you looked at one another, inspecting each others features. The first thing you notice is the glow around his body, something you have never seen with anyone else. He looks like some kind of Norse god. He is also tall, muscular and... You take a small sniff his way... he is an alpha. Though that thought saddens you, you can’t help yourself but be mesmerized by his enchanting features. This is it, this is your soulmate. But this won’t be something to be happy about, he is an alpha and you know about the horrifying stories. They aren’t nice to their soulmates and being an omega is only worse. So with that note, you stand up, cutting off your eye contact and walking towards the opposite exit. 
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Jungkook stands there dumbfounded. He looks at you as you walk away. Your beautiful figure just disappearing behind the exit door. Jimin nudges him, getting Jungkook out of his trans. ‘So I guess it was a soulmate think’, Jimin comments and Jungkook nods slowly. ‘Yeah, I guess’. Jungkook kept staring at the door, not getting out of his trans. The moment he saw you, his burning feeling stopped. Instead, something else far more romantic and sexual opened. The urge has now turned so primal that he couldn’t do anything than staring. If he had made a step towards you, he would’ve turned on his wolf. That’s why he choice to let you walk out of that room. He isn’t ever letting you go away again after this, and he was going to make you aware of that.
‘Go after her Cookie’, Jimin says as he nudges Jungkook again. With that Jungkook comes out of his train of thought and starts running out of the classroom. He wasn’t going to let you leave. You were now his, you aren’t allowed to leave. All these thoughts ran through Jungkook’s head as he sprinted through the school. His eyes turned blue as his wolf tried to get out, so he had to hide them when running past humans. He needed to claim you within the hour and finding you wouldn’t be an issue. Your scent has been planted in his brain while the both of you were staring at one another. He knew you were close, but you were also running. A smirk was creeping up his face, kind of liking the chase. You are putting up a fight, meaning you will be able to handle his alpha side. He needs someone to fight, otherwise it will just be boring. 
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You almost let your keys fall when you try to open your front door. You can smell him getting closer with the second. It’s as if you can locate his being, which is not something you were ever able to do on such distance. You were quick to close the door behind you and to run to your room. Somehow you feel like you can’t hide within your apartment, as if he is already here. But how? How did he get in? You scan your room, but then your heart stops. His body radiates behind your body and you feel is breath tickle your neck. This is it, now he will rape you. He will make you his bitch and you won’t ever get to live another happy day. Your eyes close in fear and your whole body stiffens against his body. 
You waited. You are expecting for him to pick you up and throw you on the bed. But nothing comes. Not after one minute, two minutes. You feel yourself calm down as time passes by. Why is he not doing anything? Is he just waiting until I let my guard down before attacking me? Is he maybe different? No he can’t be, all alphas want is to ruin omegas.
5 minutes passes with him standing behind you and not doing anything. Then you felt something else creeping up your spine. Something you didn’t let through because of your anguish towards him. It feels very sexual, very primal and romantic. The urge you felt towards him has returned, but in a way that you only witness during heath. Although heath is way more sexual, this goes beyond that. Your heart starts racing again, but this time it isn’t because you are scared. You long for him. You r whole being wants to be with him, but you can’t help yourself but to rationalize against it. No, they are all bad.
He sighs against your neck, causing pleasure to shoot through your body. You can’t stop your shivers and the heath that is growing between your legs. It’s an instinct so deep within you, there is no use stopping it. He reacts with a chuckle as he lets a hand slide over your delicate waist. ‘Why were you scared?’, he asks and you immediately notice his soft but low arousing voice. Every fiber on your body is heightened and his little touches aren’t helping you in any way. Trying to focus on his question, you answer: ‘You’re an alpha. I am scared you will treat me bad’. Jungkook frowns at your thought, knowing that he won’t ever hurt you in his life. It has only been a 30 minutes since he had met you, but the way he feels about you is indescribable. It’s a feeling of protectiveness, love and urge that combines his feelings for you. He will not ever hurt you. 
‘What you feel right now, is what I also feel. I will never hurt you’. 
Though this might be an empty promise, you can feel he is speaking the truth. With that you dare to turn around to face him, him keeping his hand around your waist. His handsome eyes immediately find yours. You can finally memorize all his closest features he has to offer. His facial features are amazingly handsome and his lips look so kissable. You can’t help but to reach up to his soft fluffy hair, grabbing the ear band that hides his soft wolf features. He is a black wolf with blue eyes, an amazing combination and you can’t help but to feel the need to mate with him. Your offspring will be so strong and beautiful. Your hand moves down to his cheek, which he leans his head against, closing his eyes in approval. 
‘Your name?’, you ask as you pull your hand away. ‘Jeon Jungkook, you?’, he questions and you instantly remember his packs name. It’s a pretty large and respectable pack, something you aren’t apposed to. ‘I am y/full/n’, you answer, and he smiles at hearing the familiar pack names. Though the packs aren’t close, they won’t be mad about this. Everything just seems aligned. 
He takes a little step closer as his hand now rests on your back, pressing you against his chest. You don’t fear him anymore and you feel comfortable being in his arms. ‘I know we just met, but I have the strongest urge I to claim you right now’, he confesses. And it was then that you felt something grow against your pelvis. You can’t help but to snort at that, but at the same time you felt the same thing. It’s as if you need to seal the deal. He needs to imprint himself in you, so everyone knows who you belong to. The thought of that spread a heath throughout your body. Jungkook smiled at you as he notices your body heath going up and your heartbeat racing. ‘I take that as a positive’.
He pulls you up by your waist as he swings you over his shoulder. He closes the door of your room before letting you fall on the bed. You can’t help but admire the way he easily pulled you up like that.  Your omega wolf felt protected and only an alpha like Jungkook could make you feel this way. He pulls off his shirt he was wearing before joining you on the bed. Your eyes take in all of his muscular torso, knowing he will be railing you with it in just a few minutes. 
He pulls apart your legs before positioning between them. You eagerly want to hold on to him, but he was quick to grab your wrists and plant them beside your head. You are taken aback by his action as a small yelp left your lips. ‘You really think I wasn’t going to punish you for the little escape you pulled?’ He taunted as he leans down beside your ear. His breath fanning against your neck got you shivering all over again and your pussy started to throb under his body. You could practically feel Jungkook’s smirk as he knew what effect he has on you. Though you want to wipe that smirk off his face, you knew he was right. You were disobedient and the alpha needs to put you in your place. Luckily is his punishment not that bad.
‘Good girl’, he purrs in your ear, complimenting your behavior. ‘You will do as I please when I fuck this little body of yours, okay?’. You nod eagerly, wanting him to do everything to you. It’s in your blood to obey him and this way you both get what you want. 
He let go of your wrists and takes a little bit of time to take all of your clothed body in. Your eyes look so desperate and oh... the sweet smell of your pussy waving in the air drives him crazy. Jungkook lets out a very low grunt, making your body ache for him. You let out a whine as you begin to fidget on the spot, uncomfortably trying to releave yourself He was quick to growl at you, signing that you can’t move and you have to obey him. 
‘You desperate little bitch, you want to get fucked so badly?’, he asks and you nod. ‘Use your words’, he commands. ‘Yes alpha...’. He smirks pleased, before he grabs your top and rips it off of you. You let out a small yelp, but before you knew it you were in your underwear and your clothing ripped on the floor. Though you normally would care for this, you were so ready to be mated that you really didn’t mind. He flips you around on your belly before propping your ass up in the air. His clothed length found its way against your ass as he started dry humping against you. You couldn’t help but moan upon feeling his cock gliding against your pussy. instinctively you arch your back further against his cock, making you feel his amazing length. He is for sure large and will fill you up so good. 
‘Hmm, you like that baby? You want this cock to fill you up?’ He purrs before laying his upper body against your back. He began leaving kisses on your neck, making your body shiver. Small moans leave your mouth, feeling so happy to be close to him. Jungkook also lets out groans against your skin and you can’t wait for him to give you his pups.
‘Please’, you start begging as his cock doesn’t stop teasing you. He chuckles against you, loving to tease you like this. ‘You want my cock?’, he asks as he grabs your neck from behind. You could barely get a ‘yes’ out, but it was enough for him to pull down your panties and prop your ass higher up in the air. ‘Let me first get my appetizer’, he grunts upon seeing your soaked pussy. You let your upper body rest against the bed as you arch your ass higher into the air, giving him a better view. You can hear him growling by seeing your action, he loves it. The smell of your pussy overwhelms him, he has never had something so sweet like this before. 
He spreads your cheeks further apart before laying his tongue right on your clit. He didn’t need a second try to find the little bud and immediately started making small circles around it. Your whole body reacted to it and you let out a moan. His tongue caused shocks to go through your body. You knew he liked this reaction, because one of his hands began to squeeze your ass. The growls coming from his being were still filling the room, as if he is eating a caught pray.  
Suddenly his tongue finds its way upwards, slowly licking all the juices off your pussy before settling on your entrance. He licks it a few times before entering it with his tongue. You let out a little yelp, eyes widening by the immense pleasure you are feeling. After that you began to moan loudly, loving the what it feels as he thrusts his tongue into you. Your body couldn’t help but to arch further into him. Your hands came up to your ass to widen it for him, but he was quick to pin them down beside you. The thrusts feel so good your orgasm was building up and Jungkook could feel your body heating up too. One hand came up to your asshole, and he put in just the tip of his thump, making your squirm under his care. You couldn’t help moaning out his name, making Jungkook pleased with his efforts.
It didn’t take you long to build up the orgasm and he soon got you to the edge. He notices your breathing beginning to become more irregular than it already was. His piercing eyes watch your body shake as you approach the edge and just when you were about to let it all out, he removed himself from your body. Feeling the loss of his stimulus on your entrance, you can’t help but whine. ‘Jungkooook...’, you sigh as your body collapses onto the bed. You can hear him chuckle before he lets his hand down on your ass with a great force, making you gasp by the sensation. ‘You know that this is still a punishment, right?’ he comments as he turns your body on your back, positioning himself between your legs again. You gasp upon seeing his naked body. He apparently had removed his clothing while you were nagging him. You can’t help yourself but to stare it his cock, which is standing tall and veiny between your thighs. 
‘You like what you see, baby?’, Jungkook asks and you slowly nod with widened eyes. You are slowly beginning to doubt yourself upon seeing his enormous length, questioning if it will even fit. He towers over you before reaching his hand under your head. Grabbing a ball of hear in his hand, he yanks you to sit up right. You are now in eye-level with his cock, Jungkook now on his knees in front of you. You can feel your mouth watering as you imagine sucking your mate dry, pleasing him the way you should. 
‘Why don’t you suck me off princess?’, he purrs while stroking your head, having loosened the grip. You look up to him, making the biggest innocent face you can make before your hand makes its way up Jungkook’s thigh. He immediately let a sigh escape his lips, eyes closing as he prepares for your amazing touches. You tease him a little bit, letting your hand swirl around his pelvis and inner thighs. A low threatening grunt leaves his body, signalling you the teasing is over and it is time for you to give your mate the pleasure he deserves. You put your hand around his cock as you lick small circles around his tip. The small action is enough to make him groan and grab your hair in his hands again. You notice his breathing picking up a pace as you swirl around a few times more. Then you take the tip of his dick in your mouth, still containing eye contact. Jungkook’s blue eyes almost seem pitch dark as they are now dilated to the max. You can feel your own body heating up as well by seeing how aroused he is for you.
‘Fuck, you look so innocent around my cock. Such a small mouth’, he comments with a low and sexy voice. With that encouragement, you let his dick slip further into your mouth. His grip on your hair tightened, signalling you that you are doing a great job. You bob your head forwards and backwards in a slow pace, building up his orgasm for him. He let’s out little moans upon feeling your pace going faster and faster. Eventually he couldn’t help himself but to guide your mouth over his dick, forcing you to suck him a bit further into your throat. You didn’t mind at all and let him abuse your mouth. You hold on to his legs as he takes over your pace and lets you gag on his dick. His grunts became very loud as he slams into you, giving you small times to breathe. You couldn’t care less, you are meant to let him do this to you. You are his little bitch in bed. 
‘Fuck y/n, you are so fucking amazing. My little whore’, Jungkook breathes out before giving one last deep push into your throat, making you lose air for a few seconds before pulling out. 
You both have to catch your breath. You collap back on the bed, trying to calm down your heart, but you didn’t have much time since Jungkook was already between your legs. He smirks down at your fucked out head as he hangs your legs over his shoulders. You feel him aligning his dick with your entrance, but you feel a bit scared it will hurt. Jungkook notices the change of atmosphere and cocks his head to the side, looking at your questionably. 
‘What if it will hurt?’ You ask. Jungkook smiles at you as and comes down to your forehead, giving you a little kiss. ‘Don’t worry baby, I will give you time if it hurts. Just tell me if it hurts too much okay?’, he asks and you nod your head. He goes back up and secures your legs on his shoulders. He puts his dick on your pussy, sliding it up and down your juices as he teases your clit a little. You slip a moan because of the arousing feeling. Then he aligns his dick with your entrance, giving you a reassuring look before slowly pushing into you. It takes a while before your body lets even his tip inside, but with many patients your entrance widened to his size. He pushes slow and steady before giving a last thrust, now being fully inside you. You hadn’t made any noise as you tried to not focus on the immense pain of his big cock. Your eyes were closed tightly, but you suddenly felt a soft hand on your cheek. Two soft lips met yours, pulling you out of your pain and bringing your attention back to your mate. He kisses you slowly, tongue carefully massaging against yours while the pain leisurely disappeared. The kiss was turning hotter by the second, his hands finding its way into your hair while you cling on to his muscular torso. As your bodies began to squirm against each other, his dick caused friction within you and it made you moan into his mouth.
‘Can I move?’ Jungkook asks, looking into your eyes. You nod at him, making a thrusting motion yourself with a slight smile. He smiles back before sitting upright and holding your legs firmly against his shoulders. He slowly pulled back, making you gasp by the amazing friction you feel within you. He slams back into your pussy and you both moan loudly. ‘You’re so fucking tight, so fucking delicious’, Jungkook grunts as he repeats his actions. You dig your nails into the covers beside you as Jungkook begins to put up a pace. His hips slam into yours and when he angles his dick upwards, he finally hits your g-spot. You gasp before moaning his name, the feeling overwhelming you. Jungkook now slams with all his power into you, almost flying you up against the head of the bed. You can’t hold onto anything notices Jungkook, so he let your legs back down on the bed before grabbing your wrists and holding them in place beside your head. He now begins to slam into you with full speed, making you scream and burst into pleasure. He looks at your body bouncing along with him, your breasts swinging up and down as your eyes are closed. God, he will never forget this picture. 
Your head begins to feel light by his hard thrusts, drowning you with love and pleasure. You look at his form on top of you, all sweaty and muscular. Those muscles now used to make you his mate, to give you his pups. His beautiful blue eyes are staring into yours, mouth half open as he pants through it. He is so beautiful and amazingly hot. You can feel your orgasm climbing up again as he continues rocking into you. 
He suddenly pulls out, making you gasp by the lost of friction. He gets off the bed and pulls you with him. He leads you to the nearest wall, preps you up against it before aligning his dick with your entrance again. You stick your ass out as high as you can, but since Jungkook is a very tall man, you couldn’t reach his cock. He decided to wrap his arms around your middle and pulled you off the floor. He sets you down on his dick before pressing your bodies back against the wall. He starts railing you from behind, your body still hovering above the floor and upper body pressed again the wall. Jungkook does this with ease, being an amazingly strong alpha. You feel his dick sliding in and out of you, making you go crazy and wanting him to go faster. ‘Jungkook pleasee...’, you whine and Jungkook chuckles. He then goes even faster, making you see duble because of the immense pleasure emerging from his acts. You can’t help but to yell out his name, probably waking up the whole world by it. 
‘Fuck you are my soulmate, look at you. You are perfect for me’, Jungkook groans into your ear as he feels his own height approaching. He decides to pull you back from the wall and lays you down on the floor. With your belly pressed against the wood, he pulls your ass back into the air and didn’t leave any time to enter your throbbing entrance. You can feel his balls hitting your pussy as he thrusts violently into you. His hand found your neck again and puts a slight pressure on it. With all the stimuli your mate is giving you, you find yourself near the edge of your orgasm again. Your breath began to become uneven and Jungkook noticing that, he decides on reaching down to your clit around your hips. He starts circling it fast, helping you to reach your height. You almost screamed upon feeling this, but you muffled yourself against the floor. Jungkook’s eyes were set on your trembling body, loving how aroused you can become under his touch. It took Jungkook only a few seconds before your height was reached and the warmth spread through your body. Your breath stopped for a second as you lost yourself in the overwhelming feeling. ‘Oh my god, fuck’, you cursed out as you let the orgasm wash through your body. 
‘Good girl’, Junkook prases you as you finish. You let yourself lay there for a few seconds before you realize that Jungkook didn’t come yet. You pushed him off of you, making Jungkook a bit confused, before turning him on his back. You positioned yourself on him, sitting on his lap as you let your wet pussy slide on his dick. He sighed out of pleasure as he feels you dry humping him. His hands were quick to find your waist and took over. You didn’t give him any time for that, because you were fast to line him up with your entrance. You went down on him and started bouncing on top of him. This position allowed you to hit your g-spot very consistent and couldn’t help but to go faster. You let your hips rock up and down as Jungkook helped you by grabbing your waist. He moaned loudly while his eyes looked up into yours. You knew he is close to coming, so you go a bit faster for him. You want him to make you his mate, to imprint you. 
‘I will shoot all my pups into you baby, so prepare yourself’, he warns you before he suddenly takes over the pace and thrusts up into you. You moan loudly by his action and Jungkook couldn’t help but to moan along with you. You were so beautiful on top of him and seeing all of this made him cum immediately. You can feel something inflating within you and you realized he was about to knot. You let him do the rest of the job as he groans loudly, making the last few thrusts before finally deloading all his cum into you. You can feel his pups shooting into you and you close your eyes by the amazing feeling. 
You both stay located on the floor, panting and stuck because of the knot. You feel high from the combining smell of the both of you. Everything feels right, this was really meant to be. Jungkook’s hand slowly caresses your back, soothing you as the knot slowly deflates. You look up into his eyes, and he is already smiling at you. You smile back at him. You know exactly how he feels, because you feel the same. 
‘You’re mine now’, Jungkook says proudly, hugging you closer to him. You smile. ‘I always was, I just didn’t know’. He sighs in delight, knowing he would spend the rest of his life with you in bliss. Your lives were meant to go this way, more than this wouldn’t be needed.
‘My soulmate’.
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Thank you for reading! My reguests are open for those who have one :).
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atinydise · 4 years ago
Text
Ateez reacting to their s/o crying in front of them for the first time
❦ Genre: Fluff, a little bit angsty.
❦ Pairing: OT8.
❦ Word count: 3K4.
❦ Requested: Yes, thank you! 🦋
HONGJOONG
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It had been 2 weeks since you had nonstop these hating comments on every social media. Your friend and Hongjoong warned you that the beginning will be hard, but you never imagine it would be like this. Before sleeping, you did your best to delete most of the meanest comments because you didn't want Hongjoong to be upset. To reassure yourself, you were telling every day that it would stop someday, but you were wrong. It was worse the next days. Just to enjoy your boyfriend's presence, you went to his studio. He would be busy, but his presence was enough for you. That's the only thing you wanted right now.As he was adding another beat on his production, you were deleting the comments again. Every time you tried to suppress one, another one came up. It overwhelmed you more than you imagined.
"I'm almost done babe! After that we can go watch our movie." Said Hongjoong, turning his chair around. His heart missed a beat when he saw tears sliding from your red eyes. His smile faded quickly. Your boyfriend immediately stood up and kneeled just next to you. "What's wrong? Did you hurt yourself?" Of course, when you heard that, you busted in tears, sobbing crazily. Hongjoong was shocked and confused to see you crying like this. In fact, he never seen you crying. "Y/N, look at me." He whispered, holding your hand. Despite your blurry vision, you stared right at him. "What's wrong?" He repeated. "What's ruining my usual sunshine's mood?" You took your time to explain the situation; that you are wasting your time on deleting a thousand of comments per day. You added that reading them, made your feel really insecure. "It's really hard Jong..." you sobbed, your lips shaking. "I'm sorry that you went through all of this, alone." He lifted himself a bit to hug your little figure. Face buried on his hoodie, you just gave it up and cried again. "The company is protecting me, but no one does it for you. I’ve failed." He patted your back, trying to comfort you as he could. "I'm really sorry Y/N." He whispered. You stayed at least 15 minutes in his arms, gripping the hem of his hoodie like your life depended on it. Hearing you being so sad made Hongjoong realize how much you suffered and kept everything for yourself. "You won't be alone anymore. We are going to find the perfect solution, so you won't get hurt once again. Okay?" You nodded, making him slid his hand on the back of your head to keep you closer. "Everything will be okay love." You ignored if it was your boyfriend's warm presence or the tears you finally let out, but you felt so much lighter.
SEONGHWA
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"Okay babe. Are you ready?" Asked Seonghwa, face buried behind a history book. "I think I should study a bit more." You replied. "But you've done this the whole week. I'm sure you are ready." He smiled. Not sure of yourself, you shrugged. "Let's give it a try then." The next week, you needed to pass the most important exam of your entire life. Compared to an "idol life", it's like the last audition which will determine if you can debut or not. The one you are not supposed to fail. That's why you set and organized a complete and strict revisions schedule since these past weeks. To be honest, it had been pretty intense, and you were pretty exhausted now. "So, first question from when lasted the 2nd World War?" "1940 to 1945?" You replied not sure of yourself. "1939 to 1945." Rectified Seonghwa. Good. 1st question and already one mistake. "Next one: in which year did the USA joined the WII?" You knew this date; you had an entire sheet on it. So why the answer wouldn't come out? "19-" you paused, thinking hard about the answer. "Y/N, we studied together this date and this chapter." Said Seonghwa, trying to help you. Mad at yourself, you closed your notebook and buried your head in your arms. "Y/N-" "I don't remember!" Your voice cracked and your shoulders started to shake. "I'm useless and stupid!" Seonghwa was surprised to see you like this. You were not the type of person to cry. In 1 year and a half of relationship, he never saw you cry. "Just let me fail this exam!" You sobbed, tears dripping o the blue ink of your notebook. "Y/N. You are one of the smartest people I know." Whispered your boyfriend resting his head just next to yours. His arm was wrapped around your shoulders. "You just worked and studied so much these weeks that your brain needs a break." "I have so many chapters and topics to learn." You sniffled, lifting up a bit, but to hide your face behind your hand. "You are having a mental breakdown babe. Just take a break you won't fail." Seonghwa's voice was affecting you in the right way. You could feel yourself calming a bit, but the stress was always there. "Let's watch TV for the rest of the night so tomorrow you can focus back on your task." "But I need to study." You wiped your tears with your shirt. "If you continue today, you won't remember anything tomorrow. That's what you want?" You shook your head. "Good. Then let's go watch a movie. I'll order a pizza." "Thank you." You whispered, still sniffling.
YUNHO
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You had a pretty mad argument with a close friend. You couldn't even call her this way because what she did was wrong. In a short resume, she hangs out with your other friend's crush. The worst part was that she never apologized or realized that her actions were bad and could hurt someone else. So, since this day, you've been pretty alone. The trio you formed with your friend was over. Nobody talked on the group chat like you usually do. Your girl trip was cancelled, and you had no choice but to accept it and cancel all the reservations you've done. It could be childish and ridiculous to be sad over a friendship but it as a particular one for you. They were the first ones to talk to you when you arrived in Korea. The language barrier never had been an issue. Thanks to them you improved more than you could imagine. When you had an argument with Yunho, they were the first ones to get you out, just to change your mind. How could a good friendship finish so badly? "Y/N? Are you listening to me?" Asked Yunho, sitting on the couch next to you. "Huh sorry, I was deep in my thoughts." You smiled shyly. "It is because of-" started Yunho. "Don't." You stopped him straight. "Don't pronounce their names." Your boyfriend was staring at you. He never thought it would affect you so much. "I tried my best to stay strong," you sighed. "But i can't lie to you. This is pretty hard." "Babe..." "I've been with them for so long. A bit like you and the guys." You smiled sadly, thinking about the old and good times. "They were my family here, in South Korea. Yunho was looking at the decomposition of your face. You were completely devastated. "I miss them so much." You finally let out, head bending, and eyes closed to avoid tears to fall. "I'm sure it will be fixed soon." Whispered Yunho, ignoring what to do. A light laugh escaped your lips. "Nothing will be the same, and it's better if we stay apart." Your boyfriend was secretly thinking the same thing. It was a pretty good issue. He left his thoughts when you whined of sadness before sniffling for the third time. What to do? What do you need? He never saw you like that. You always said that you hated to cry. It makes you feel weak. "Do you want a hot chocolate? I know you like." He offered. "If you don't mind, I really need a hug right now." You stared at him; face completely wet. "Yes of course." He didn't hesitate and pulled you closer to him. He assumed that you felt better because you cried a bit more. Losing friends can be really painful sometimes. Yunho hoped that you would be okay. He would be there every time you need someone to talk with. However, at the same time he hoped to never see you crying again. That was too painful for him to look at your usual bright face, changing into a sad one.
YEOSANG
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Yeosang's phone buzzed on his pocket. He stared at the clock hanging on the wall. 11 PM. By that, he guessed that you were calling him because you missed him. Without waiting any longer, he sat down on the floor and picked up. ["Hello!] You waved at the screen. ["Hey boo! What's up?"] He asked, fixing his hair at the same time. ["I miss you."] You pouted. ["It's been pretty hard to catch up these times."] Yeosang's scratched his nape, nervously. ["Yeah... We've been busy 24/7. I can't tell when the last time was, I had enough time for myself."] ["Keep some time for you. It's important."] You replied, looking at his little dark circles. ["I will try to-"] ["Hello Y/N!"] Waved San, appearing on the screen. ["It's daytime for you?] You smiled at him. He was always so energized. ["Hello San! And yeah, it's 3PM here."] ["Can you let me talk to my girl in peace? I can't do it often already!"] Scolded Yeosang gently, flickering San's forehead. At this comment, you felt all the emotions and feelings you kept during these 7 months, submerging you. Before you could realize it, a tear escape of your eye, followed by another one. ["Yeah yeah! Leave us alone!"] he pushed San out of the screen. ["So, what you- Y/N? Are you crying?"] His face approched the screen phone really fast. ["Oh!"] You said, surprised. ["I didn't even notice."] You chuckled sniffling. ["What's wrong. It's the first time I see you crying."] Asked Yeosang, worried something bad happened. ["Nothing. This week had just been stressful, and I really miss you."] You looked up to suppress the other tears to come. ["We are going yo see each other soon I promise."] He said, feeling mad to be so far away from you. ["Sorry, I didn't plan to cry like a baby 'in front' of you."] You air quoted. ["It's just so hard Yeosang."] Your voice cracked, causing your boyfriend to feel sorry. ["I promise we will see each other faster than what you think."] You nodded, still avoiding looking at him. ["Don't cry Y/N. I hate seeing you like this."] He sighed. Forbidden you to cry made you do it even more. You put down the phone so he could only see your ceiling. ["It's okay. I'll calm down."] You said between 2 sobs. Yeosng was staring at the phone, hoping to see your smile back. ["I want to see you."] ["I look terrible."] You positioned the phone back, wiping the bottom of your eyes. ["No. You look like Frankenstein’s wife."] He teased you. ["So, you are Frankenstein?"] You giggled. ["Ouch, you got me."] You laughed at his disbelieving face. Yeosang was the only one who could make you cry, and in the next minute, make you laugh crazily.
SAN (⚠️this one can be a little bit triggering since it’s mentioning the lockdown)
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"Finally! Some time for myself!" Claimed San, holding your hand tighter. "Since a long time, he had or find an empty time on his schedule and rushed to spend time with you. San invited you at the restaurant and for a quick walk before heading back to the dorm. No matter how hard you tried to stay focus on your boyfriend and the conversation, you zoned out time to time. San ignored what was bothering you. The lockdown had been pretty hard for you and your mental health. You lost your self-esteem and didn't find anymore any good compliments for yourself. For several months, you documented yourself to find something which could lift your mood. Most of the time, you spent your day on TikTok, but it messed up more than it should. Thanks to San, he was the only one who avoided you to end depressed completely. He still ignored that you were going through a lot. You always acted like everything was totally fine. "I can't believe we are already in February." He looked at the stars. "Yeah." You smiled. "Time flies." "It's been almost 2 years that I've met you too!" He giggled. "I'm so lucky. Many girls would have run away with an idol as boyfriend." He started. "But not you! You are still here. The rock of our couple." More he was talking; more you were realizing that you were not that strong anymore. "I'm really lucky!" He repeated, kissing your hand lovely. You didn't have enough time to suppress the sob coming from your throat. You slapped your free hand on your mouth, even if you couldn't know if you were really crying, tears felt right on your fingers. "Y/N? Are you-" he stopped, realizing how stupid the question was? "What's happening baby?" The soft tone he used to talk, made you bust in cry a lot more. "Wow wow! Y/N, what is going on?" He asked, completely worried. You hesitated to tell him what was going on, but you couldn't let him with no information. "I'm just so done." You started. "So tired, so sad, so depressed, every fucking day." "Why?" You shrugged, picking a tissue of your pocket. "I don't know. I just feel like that. I want to be happy and strong again, but I'm always overthinking. It makes me doubt on everything." San pulled you in a warm and safe hug. He ribbed the back of your head to comfort you. "Don't worry. I will help you to pass this hard period." He whispered. "I really don't know what is going on with me and I don't like that." You added, tugging on his hoodie. "It's okay. Everyone goes through difficult moment. But I’m here to help you. I will give you everything."
MINGI
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Mingi got out of the sleeping state when he heard a sniffle. At first, he thought that he was dreaming. Even though his dream was completely crazy, no one was crying. He just let it out and tried to sleep completely. Until he heard another sniffling. This time Mingi cracked an eye. The room was plunged in the dark. Exactly like how he fell asleep. "Did you catch a cold?" Asked Mingi, with his deepest voice. No answer, but still the sniffling could be heard. "Y/N." He repeated a bit louder. His body was still facing the window so he couldn't see you. No answer. Mingi thought that you were deep in the sleep to not hear him. So, he sneaked his arm under the sheet to squeeze your leg. "Get up and take a medicine at least, bec-" He stopped when he had nothing to squeeze. Finally, he sat up and looked at your usual spot. Empty. The sheet was cold. So, you were probably awake since a long time. Mingi walked to the hallway, looking for any light or any shadow hid in the dark. When he saw the one coming from the bathroom, he rushed there. Without knocking, he entered making you jump by surprise. "What are you doing here? It's late!" He raised a brow. Feeling the tears coming back, you hid your face behind your hands. Mingi's face softened immediately. He turned you around, so you could look at him. Just by seeing you crying, he understood what was going on. "You saw the article?" He whispered. You nodded, your shoulders shaking at each sob, like a baby. "You should have told me that it made you sad." He pulled you in a warm hug, trying to comfort you. "How? We made a deal." You wrapped your arms around his waist. "This deal sucks if you end by crying like that." He kissed your forehead. "I just wanted to protect you from every crazy fans. But I had no idea, people would start assuming that I'm dating the entire world." "It's not your fault." You sobbed. "I accepted to hide our relationship too." "I'm going to fix it Y/N." Claimed Mingi. "I hate saying you like that. I've never seen you crying yet." You smiled shyly at him. He wasn't the best man on this earth, he barely knew how to comfort you, but he has this strong and safe aura. It was everything that matters. "Stop crying please. I hate that." He pouted. You wiped your eyes quickly and gave him a warm smile. "Thank you Mingi."
WOOYOUNG
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You were sitting on the dance practice's couch, looking at your boyfriend and San joking around. It was not a big deal. The atmosphere was really good, and everyone was in the right mod. Except you. Why? Because you had a secret interview with the CEO and the group manager. They made you understand that your relationship with Wooyoung was prohibited. It's been 3 years that you were dating, and they never had a problem. Until the group gain more and more attention and that journalist were following them around. One of them already threatened KQ to reveal an article few days before the comeback, just to ruin it. That's why, while the group was singing and dancing along, you were slowly getting sadder. To not ruin the mood, you got up and exited the room. The more natural possible. Even though you thought that nobody spotted your sudden sadness, Seonghwa noticed that something was wrong. And since you put a foot in the room. "Wooyoung." "Yeah?" "You should check after Y/N. I feel like something is off." He said. "She just probably went to restroom." He shrugged. "No, something is really wrong." Insisted Seonghwa. Without saying anything, Wooyoung rushed out of the room. He didn't last long to find you. His heart missed a beat when he saw your face. Tears were storming on your cheeks. Your nose was running, and your entire body was shaking also. He stayed there, without moving at all. Wooyoung never saw you this way and he was completely freaking out. His brain finally functioned again when you started to choke, hands on your chest. "Babe babe! Calm down." He kneeled in front of you, embracing you as much as he could. "I'm here. Calm down." He repeated. You gripped the back of his shirt, still completely devastated. Wooyoung rubbed the back of your head. Your face as buried on the crook of his neck. "Baby. Breathe." He whispered. Your boyfriend never asked once why you were crying. He stayed 30 minutes, in the same position, waiting for you to finally calm down. The most important think was you to be 100% ready to talk about it. "No matter what, I'm here." You are not alone."
JONGHO
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The room was plunged in the dark. A light flame coming from the center of the table was lighting things around you. It been 2 hours that you were sitting there. Your eyes were locked o the big window, which is usually help the moon reflection to enter in the apartment. Your entire house was quiet. But you were annoyed by the loud noise coming from your mind thoughts. Jongho has left since this afternoon. Just after, probably one of the biggest argue you ever had. "Oh, you are so annoying! You know what? I'm leaving." This sentence was stuck in your throat. Jongho was really mad this time and was probably not ready to forgive you. Your head lifted up when you heard footsteps in the hallway. You prayed and hoped that your fiancé was coming back home. But few seconds later, the neighbor's door slammed and resonated in your ears. At the edge of a mental breakdown, your lips started to shake, and your eyes were getting itchy because of the tears forming in your eyes. Quickly, a sob escaped of your lips. Followed by another one. Before you could realize it, you busted in tears, crying loudly. All of your fear and pain stuck in your head, made you cry. Your dog, not understanding the situation, put his head on your lap, trying to comfort you. "Y/N!" Your heart missed a bit when you heard Jongho's voice. For a short second, you thought that you were dreaming. But your boyfriend was really standing there, hands full of your favorite restaurant food. In no time, you gently pushed your dog and rushed to Jongho. Arms wrapped around his waist, you felt like living again. He couldn't answer to your hug or otherwise he would drop the food, but you felt like his warm aura around you. "Ah," he smiled. "I might have been a little bit too harsh with you. It's the first time I see you crying." "You are dumb." You sobbed, still wrapped around him. I really thought you left." "Aye, come on. I can never do that." Probably because of the relief, you cried even more. "You are acting like a strong and independent woman but here you are, sobbing like a baby." He kissed your head. "I hate you." You replied. "Yeah. I love you too." He giggled.
400 notes · View notes
fnf-amateur-writing · 3 years ago
Note
Hey! It’s Fox again! How are you doing? I just started school back up today, so I’ve been busy Xp.
Think you would be cool with writing some Pico with an s/o who is a writer, and tends to ask him about things like “hey, how long does it take someone to bleed out” or other things like that?
I understand if you don’t feel like it, and I hope you’re having fun 😊
🦊
Hello again Fox, I'm doing quite well rn. I'm cool with your prompt, especially since I need more writing material anyways.
Took me a while, because I didn't want to do a hc, but rather come up with a oneshot with a little twist to the style. Well, hope it works well.
Good luck with school, mate!
TW: Mentions of violence, swearing, slight sexual reference, and crime.
Pico with a writer S/O who asks him strange questions
Prologue:
On a chilly autumn morning, you were sitting out on your patio with a laptop and a mug of your favourite beverage next to you. Whenever you looked up, you could see the warm coloured leaves fall as the breeze accompanied you. The whole scene was an aesthetic.
When your boyfriend, Pico, came outside to see this, he knew that the nice environment you surrounded yourself with meant one thing. "You're back in your writing space already. Heh, with that bestseller you published, I thought you were comfy taking a break." You simply smiled and said, "can't waste the inspiration rush I got right now."
Pico had a good point though, with your rising popularity as an author, you were near set to retire before turning fourty. But you wish you weren't given all of the credit, since your boyfriend's stories of his dodgy job has occasionally sparked some ideas for your stories. However the books you wrote in the past were usually meant for the young adult and had few mature themes. This time, you thought maybe it's time to garner extra inspiration from those stories.
You were met with some disappointment when you realised that your mug was empty, only a drop entering your mouth. "Here, babe, I'll ya some more," Pico said, taking your mug and walking inside. "Quick question," you stopped him. "Yeah?"
"What would be the best place for a murder cemetery?"
"... What?"
Chapter 1:
"So you're doing some story about the police hunting down a mass murderer?"
"Pretty much."
"And to think you were gonna write Pixar's next script. Aight' I respect that." Pico takes a seat next to you with a refill of your drink placed next to your favourite writing laptop. "Thanks, Pico. But yeah, I want to branch out to something edgier, and I think you can help too."
"Let me show you what I've got so far." You showed him some of your notes in a little notepad document, detailing the story thus far and your current plans for this chapter. "Oh, that's it? Just looks like boring police preparation mainly," Pico commented. "Yeah, it's not much right now. But it'll get juicy later." "And bloody?" "And bloody."
"Welp, I'm gonna head back in," Pico got up, "let me know if you need anything." He head back inside, closing the door, but then opened it almost immediately afterwards. Pico stuck his head out, "by the way, the guy should use some strong alcohol or something to throw off those sniffer dogs."
Chapter 2:
"And then, because they used a silencer, the police don't immediately notice the--"
"Nope! I'm calling bullshit (Y/N)!" Pico had suddenly interrupted your explanation of the scene you were currently working on. "Silencers can help prevent some hearing loss, sure, but they're not magic."
"Alright," you reply, "no silencer, but the killer still has to kill in a way to not get blood on them, so I thought shooting and killing them from a distance would work." "Well, they're alone. Instead, have the guy get shanked in the neck or something, and have the killer use a plastic bag as a glove. It saved my ass one time."
"Woah!" you exclaimed with a giggle, "you used a knife once? What happened to my trigger happy boyfriend, huh? That's pretty sus."
"I forgot to reload the Uzis, alright?"
"What an impostor would say."
Chapter 3:
"What would be the best way to muffle the scream of someone you kidnapped?"
You two were sitting on the couch together watching a show. You didn't have your laptop on you, so Pico didn't expect you to still be thinking about that book. "I can't say from experience, really," he said as he paused the show. "However, shove a rag in their mouth and duct tape it in, and you should be good."
"Thanks Pico, also one more thing." "Yeah?" "What if our killer also wanted to..." God, this one was gonna be awkward, but you had to say it or else no help. "You know, cut off this victim's willy. How would you do that?"
"Wai-wha-uh-ga," Pico started fumbling his words like never before. He stopped, then took a deep breath. "YO, WHAT THE FUCK?!" "It'll make sense in the story later, I promise!" You watch Pico begin to lose it, breaking into laughter. "Ladies, gentlemen, and others," Pico dramatically stood up, pulling a little Showcaster impression and directing his arms towards you, "my famous 'young' adult novelist partner!"
Chapter 4:
It was in the dead of night, but you awoke to Pico on his phone. His vpn was on and Tor was up. As per usual, he was checking up on his little hitman service, where others could request for a certain someone's guts to fly if they paid him a hefty sum first. Though tired, you ound this to be the best time to ask him some more questions.
"Pico, how do those sites work?"
"Oh, you're awake," Pico blankly stated, sleepy too. But he still answered you. "Basically, some anonymous rich guys in the area give me money and a target, then I just do the thing and send a mission accomplished email." "Do they pay you in person?" "Nah, we use always use Bitcoin. It's a lot harder to trace than real money."
"Thanks Pico. Goodnight," you wish him, yawning and going back to sleep. "You too... So this guy is a hit man too?" "Hush. Tomorrow." "Okay." Pico puts his phone away, leaving it on a nightstand. You then spoon the night away, peacefully thinking of murder as you drifted off.
Chapter 5:
On a morning similar to before, you two sat on the patio with your drinks and laptop at the ready. Pico watched rather awkwardly as you typed away, wondering why you haven't entertained him with another question yet.
"You gonna ask anything else?" "What? Oh, nah," you plainly state. Inevitable, sure, but he was kind of saddened. He liked being able to share his messed up wisdom. "So, you're done?" "Almost." You turn to look at him, "want the spoilers?" Pico smiled, "sure thing."
In the novella you and Pico crafted together, the main character is a cop who hunts down a killer. They eventually notice that there would be two murders at a time for unknown reasons. Well, it was unknown until one victim had left up a dark web hit man for hire site. They that the hit man not only kills the target, but the client as a hidden price for the service.
And any request will be fulfilled, according to the hit man's site.
"Do they catch 'em?" Pico asked. "Well, ANY request is granted. So, if our hero were to... hire him to kill himself..."
"No way!"
"He did. They find both of their bodies in his bedroom."
Pico was a bit impressed with the ending you came up with, but then he remembered something. "Why did that guy get his thing cut off?" "Lol, I forgot," you giggled. "He sent a message to the hit man, saying he wishes the target would choke on his dick."
"That's my favourite part."
Epilogue:
After everything was finished up, you sent the book off to your editor. After the initial joy of knowing how the story ended, you saw that Pico was still in thought. "What's up with you?" "Oh nothing, well it's just... I'm probably just biased, being that I'm a bit of a hitman myself, but it's kind of sad to see the guy go."
"Then I should spoil the epilogue I came up with." Rather than being excited, Pico nervously asked, "what's an epilogue?" He didn't get an answer, only you staring at him. "Sorry, school held too many bad memories for me to pay attention."
"Anyways," you continue, "the rest of the police gang did some background checks, and find that our killer was a normal guy with no criminal history."
"Penilian?"
"No. But I did decide to take a more supernatural approach here. Somewhere across the country, another string of double homicides occur and that site is active once more. And the story kind of repeats itself."
"Penilian."
"You joker," you give him a playful little kiss on the cheek, one that definitely caught him off guard. "So is it canon?" Pico smirked. "Nah, just thanking you for being my cute little co-author." "Oh," Pico started, "so we're flirtin' now, huh. Come here babe!" He tackled you onto the ground, giving you several kisses in exchange.
"Actually, I think we call that 'making out'," you chuckle out, flustered. "But that doesn't mean I said stop'!" You pull him in for more, accidentally bonking your heads together rather painfully. "Nice double kill there, (Y/N)."
116 notes · View notes
imjusttpeachy · 4 years ago
Text
bumpy roads & broken promises. (c.h.)
EDIT: Lmaoooo I did not expect this to actually get notes, thanks guys! I already made it onto someone’s fic recs-- I feel special. Actually might end up writing more if this gets more attention. :^)
I wrote this as a vent/comfort fic for myself but figured others might like it. Corpse has been my new safety youtuber ever since the old nosleep reader--deep voice/no face gamer went to shit so... yeah. 
Heavily inspired by @mmonamona ‘s fic “Petty Fights and Lonely Nights” just more angst. 
playlist
feng suave - sink into the floor
current joys - a different age
feng suave - venus flytrap
rei ami - do it right
summary: Corpse gets frustrated with work and snaps at the reader when she tries to ask what’s wrong, triggering a bad memory from a past relationship. 
word count: 2, 932
WARNINGS: she/her pronouns used, coarse language, shouting, panic attacks, reference to past relationship trauma (no retelling, nothing detailed)
(angst, hurt/comfort, crying! lots of it)
>>>
“God would you just fuck off already?!”
Frozen. Your body tensed up as the deep growl echoed through the cramped dark room.
You had been staying at your boyfriend’s apartment for about a week while you were on break from college. Flying out from the UK to California so you could spend as much time as you could with him before ultimately having to return to 5am facetimes while drowning in papers and essays.
Even before you’d booked the tickets, Corpse was already apologizing for everything under the sun. The size of his apartment and its cleanliness, the fact that he couldn’t do much more than order take out for you, his irregular sleeping patterns.. the list could go on and on. And while you assured him every time that you didn’t care, that you were coming to see him— not his apartment, not home cooked meals, and definitely not to scrutinize him for things he couldn’t control due to his mental health. But he wouldn’t buy it.
Not one bit.
He’d offer you a weary half-smile, pulling you into his chest or ruffling your hair before placing a soft kiss on your temple and changing the subject. You didn’t press any further knowing how often he was at war with his own mind and couldn’t help but think the worse of every situation.
As the days carried on, you’d spent most of your time tangled up in each other. Whether it be a movie, or playing some co-op games, or even just laying in his bed with him, you could barely stand to spend any time apart. But, of course, you were adults with responsibilities that would tear you from one another eventually. While you did miss his presence every second he wasn’t around, you couldn’t help but try to make his life even better for when he got back and for when you’d eventually have to leave him once again. Now, a week into your stay, his apartment was a good amount tidier than how it’d been when you arrived. The cupboards and fridge were stocked with groceries that would hopefully last for some time after you left, on top of the home made meals you’d make together or for him everyday. New picture frames were hung up on the wall of the two of you that you’d gifted to him when you arrived; it actually started to feel like home. Well, as much as it could without those familiar strong arms wrapped around you every second of the day.
Unfortunately, this evening was one of those times. Corpse had already been locked up in his office for a few hours now, the sounds of button mashing and frustrated exclamations making its way through the thin walls every so often bringing an amused smile to your face. He’d woken up a bit anxious already knowing he’d have to both leave you alone and put up a brave front for the stream that was planned that evening. You didn’t push him or try to talk about it, knowing that it would just make it worse; so you two had spent the day as it normally would (though he always looked and felt on edge) until he was forced to retreat back into that dreaded workspace.
You occupied yourself on your phone and laptop for a while, checking up on friends, reviewing anything you’d need for the upcoming semester, just scrolling through your socials— y’know, the works. But by the time you’d gotten bored with your scrolling, you’d notice it was a perfect time to start dinner that you’d hopefully be able to eat together with Corpse. You’d gotten to work right away, doing your best to be as quiet as you could to not disturb his work as the different aromas began to spread through the small kitchen in his apartment. Finishing up the dishes after the meal was all cooked, you dished up two servings and set them on the coffee table in front of the couch before you went to retrieve your other half.
Turning the knob of his office door slowly, you peered into the dark room; only the silhouette of the floppy mop of hair you adored so much was able to be seen in the dim light of his computer monitors. Taking a hard look at his right-most monitor you notice an editing software pulled up instead of the usual live chat he had on while streaming, so without any worry of interrupting you opened the door and stepped into the room. It was a cozy room for sure, and it always seemed to smell just like him— which of course is a given but with how much time he spent in this room, it was even more so present. Walking up slowly to his right side so you wouldn’t startle him with just your voice you watched his gaze flick to your form before steadying itself back in the monitor. Furrowing your brows at his strange behaviour but not letting it get to you, you opened your mouth to speak.
“I made dinner!” You smiled down at him, taking a few steps back toward the door so he would be able to get out of his gaming chair without you in his space. However, the hunched form of your focused boyfriend didn’t move an inch. Your heart sunk a little at his attitude but decided to just try again.
“Corpse, baby, dinners ready.”
“I’m not hungry.” The short statement left his mouth in a low grumble, if you hadn’t spent all this time with him studying his voice and begging him to speak more to you, you probably wouldn’t have been able make it out at all. You huffed out a sigh, this was new for him, you really hadn’t seen him as anything other than the cuddly baby you’d grown to know and love. But, you thought to yourself, love would come with days like this and it was bound to happen eventually. Trying your best to not get frustrated or angry with his snappy attitude, you kept your voice light and cheery as you tried again to coax him out to eat.
“Corpse you’ve barely eaten today I-“
“I said I’m not hungry.” Startling at the angry tone you’d never heard from him before, you could feel yourself start to get choked up. Pulling your hands up to hug your arms, trying to sooth yourself, you could feel yourself starting to slowly freeze up. Goosebumps ran over your skin, a chill snaking  it’s way up your spine as you gulped, trying your best to muster up the bravery to speak again. You didn’t know what had gotten into him, he knew how the tone affected you— he was usually even the one to comfort you after an episode triggering something like this. As your mouth began to run dry, you took a deep breath deciding that he would definitely come to his senses in the next moments, you opened your mouth to speak again.
“Is everything alri-“
“I’m FINE! I’m not a FUCKING CHILD I don’t need you constantly checking up on me! God would you just fuck off already!”
You didn’t even notice the tears dripping off your cheeks until they splashed against the bare skin of your hand. Slipping into the defense mode you knew so well, your body switched onto autopilot as you began to backpedal out of the room, almost tripping a few times as you sputtered out a choked “okay, I’m sorry,” before closing his door once again and stumbling messily down the hallway to his room. Your mind was moving a thousand miles a minute yet was completely blank at the same time, and before you knew it you were tucked away inside the dark closet in his room.
This was the routine, this is where you’d be safe.
Trying to slow your erratic breathing you hugged your knees even closer to your chest, praying that in some way it would ease your shaking body. But inevitably, you felt the sobs that you’d kept trapped in your throat since you’d left break through. Your chest heaved with the breaths you took to keep your sobs as silent as possible. You thought you had trained yourself well enough for this, you’d done this a million times before— but in the back of your mind you knew that this time it was different. Shrinking into the corner of the closet, the only thing on your mind was all the broken promises he’d sworn to keep.
>>>
Corpse sighed, his body weighing him down in his chair heavily, head aching with all the work he’d been doing that evening. Pulling his attention back, he stretched his arms as his sore eyes glanced over at the clock in the corner of his screen. 11:34pm. Fuck. That much time had passed already? Raking a hand through his hair he yawned sleepily, he knew he should probably spend more time working before calling it a night but all he wanted to do was curl up in bed with you-
Shit.
Finally snapping out of the heavy trance he’d set himself in every time he sat down to edit, he thought back to the last time he had seen you— calling him for dinner where he snapped at you to leave him alone… almost 3 hours ago. The memories of the past moment flooded into his head and seconds later he was scrambling out of his chair and out into the hallway. It was dead silent, Corpse felt like his heart was practically breaking his ribs with how hard it was pounding in his chest. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Gripping at the right side of his shirt he rushed into the living room, rubbing frantically at his eyes as they darted around the room quickly looking for any sign of you.
“(Y/N), baby?” He rasped out, voice caught in his throat, walking through the living room and spotting the now cold meals she’d prepared waiting uneaten on the coffee table. His heart sunk as he hurried to the kitchen only to see the rest of the meal out on the counter, not doing anything to ease his mind. He called your name again and again; rushing back into the living room his eyes darted to the front door, a tiny bit of relief pricking his system as he saw the door was still locked and latched, as well as seeing your shoes and jacket by the door. Rushing back into the hallway he peeked into the bathroom, flicking on the light switch and with no sign of you, continued down the hallway to his room.
“(Y/N), please baby.” Flicking on the light his eyes scanned the room not catching a single sight of you-- when he heard it. Slowing his breathing down as much as he could in his panicked state he focused in his hearing on the small heaves of air coming from the closet. Stomach dropping, Corpse collapsed onto his knees, legs giving way from underneath him when he realized where you were and what was happening. Crawling his way toward the closet door he stopped right outside of it, he heard your breath hitch and knew you were holding it out of practiced instinct which made him want to vomit. But it wasn’t about him right now, so with a deep breath he finally managed to whisper out.
>>>
“Princess, I’m gonna open the door okay?”
Finally releasing the breath you had been holding, your lungs heaved for air as light flooded into the dark closet. Peeking an eye out from where it was buried in your knees, you blearily made out your boyfriend’s blurry figure kneeling outside the closet. With your body feeling like it was completely out of your control, sobs once again began to rack your huddled form as you shrunk away from him as far as you could into the corner of the closet.
“I’m gonna come in and sit with you okay, I won’t touch you unless you say I can alright?” You could hear some shuffling before hearing the door creak shut again engulfing the both of you in almost complete darkness, save for the few streams of yellow light coming from the cracks of the door. Corpse stared forward in complete silence, long legs bent uncomfortably and body hunched over in the cramped space of the closet trying to give you as much space as possible but knowing that the first step was sitting with you. The man beside you sighed softly, feeling his heart splinter with every heaving sob that raked over you; he could feel his own tears prick at his eyes and a sob starting to well up in his throat but he held them back. Mustering up the courage and will he finally opened his mouth to speak.
“(Y/N) I am so, so fucking sorry,” his voice pitched just above a whisper because he knew if his voice got any deeper that it would startle you and scare you even more than how you were already feeling right now. ‘I don’t know what I was thinking. It never should’ve hap-“
“Y- You br- broke your promise.” Your reply came in watery, stuttered breaths; the knot in Corpse’s throat came right back up, tears filling his waterline as much as he tried to keep his composure for your sake.
“I know. I know I did.” The man beside you managed to choke out thinking back to the day where he first lost his temper around you. You’d told him everything about your experience with your past relationships and how you were treated, what you used to cope and what he could do to avoid that in any way possible. He promised that day that he would never again raise his voice, or move too fast even when he was angry or frustrated, and made sure to note down anything that would possibly trigger you to completely avoid altogether. And he kept those promises… until today. Tilting his head to glance over at you, his eyes adjusting to the darkness of the closet to see you staring straight ahead, tears pouring endlessly down your damp face as your body still shook with soft cries.
“I can’t lose you (Y/N)” Corpse’s voice shook as he tried to figure out the right things to say that would keep you from walking right out that door.
“I’ll do anything. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I don’t know what I’d do without you. I’ll be better, I swear on my life I’ll be better. Anything you need— it’s yours. I just.. I can’t lose you. Not like this.” He hated how much he sounded like he was pleading when he’s the one who fucked up. The last thing he wanted to do was manipulate you into staying with him which was exactly what your ex did when they made the same mistake time and time again; something he swore he’d never even think of doing. But here he was, and here you were glancing up at him with bloodshot eyes, hair sticking to your tear slicked face and body shaking so much you’d think it was below freezing in there.
Tearing your gaze away from his, you heaved a watery, shaky sigh trying your best to get your thoughts in order. While you had your issues, you knew he had his as well; and with as much patience and understanding he gives you with your snappy, frustrated, sad days, you needed to give back that same patience and understanding with his own. You needed to be brave here.
“Baby-“
“C-Can you just hold me? Please?” You sputtered out just above a whisper, and before you could even unwrap your arms from around yourself Corpse was pulling you into his lap; strong arms encasing you as he pushed his face into your hair. That’s when you found out he was shaking just as much as you were, chest rising and falling erratically with contained sobs as he tried to keep his brave demeanour up for you. Tucking your head under his chin he leaned back against the wall as he crushed you to his chest, the droplets hitting the top of your head giving way to the fact that he was crying too. Pulling your arms up from your side, you slowly wrapped them around his shoulder as he pushed his face against the crook of your neck, sobs finally giving way as he cried helplessly into your shoulder; further dampening the already tear-soaked cloth of the hoodie you were wearing.
“I’m sorry,” Corpse sputtered, hooking his chin over your shoulder so he could keep up with the heaving of his chest, pulling an arm up from around your waist to rest on the back of your head. As much as he wanted to run his hands all over your body and bury his fingers in your hair to feel and memorize every inch of you, he kept them still not wanting to overwhelm you more than this kind of touch already did.
“I love you, I love you so much, I love you..“ he whispered over and over into the darkness of the closet as you both began to breath slower as one. Shushing him softly, you repeated the soft words back to him before wrapping your arms tighter around his shoulders, ensuring him that you were going to be alright.
There would be bumps in the road but Corpse was worth it.
__________________________________
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annie-mit-ie · 3 years ago
Text
Glimpses: Part 15 (Kathryn Hahn x Fem!Reader)
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Part 1 // previous chapter <<< >>> next chapter
Summary: The Aftermath.
Word Count: 1.6k
A/N: hello there! hope this makes up for all the drama I caused 😅 also, if the formatting is off: excuse me, this was written AND POSTED entirely on my phone. Have fun!!!
Tag List: @danvers97 @zafirosreverie @srtamercurio @wanatag @pulledbythestars17 @plantowl @spacehahn @sarahp-stan @agentbrownierso @our-blood-is-our-ink @fruityhahn
_____________________________________________________________________________
“NO! No no no no.” Kathryn paces up and down in her hotel room. “HOW DID THEY KNOW?”
Jennifer, who is sitting on the couch, computer in her hands, looks at Agnes, who is leaning against the wall. “I’m so sorry, Kathryn.”
“This is a disaster!” She looks devastated.
“Actually, it’s press and any press is good press. PLUS, Jeffrey is a good catch.” Jennifer scans another article.
Kathryn paces towards her, takes the computer out of her hands and sits down on the couch herself as Jennifer gets up to give her some space. Leaning back into the pillows, the actress looks like a mess. A grey tank top falls loosely of her shoulders and her unbrushed hair frames her face that is in painful distress. She puts the computer down on the tiny desk next to the couch and reads an article discussing if Jeffrey and her are Hollywood’s new favorite couple.
The article promises an update and as she clicks on the link provided, she looks at very private pictures taken of herself in her hotel room. Someone must have added the numbers up and figured out where she was staying to stalk and observe her through the window that she, stupidly, didn’t close right away last night. A short series of pictures shows her in front of the window, Jeffrey behind her. Him right in front of her as he leans in for a kiss. Another one of her getting undressed. Another one of him in just his underwear during a photo shoot for another project.
Stressed and in disbelief, she doesn’t even finish reading the captions and quickly sits up again to smack the device closed. Shaking her head, she stares at the floor.
“Kathryn? Are you okay?” Agnes asks cautiously.
——-
“Honey? Are you okay?” Alex asks as you continuously stare at your screen with empty eyes.
You continue staring. “Y/N! You worry me.”
Alex sits down again and places the phone next to her so you look like you are sitting righty with her on the couch. She has been trying to calm you down ever since she got up this morning. Right as she read the first article, she knew the situation was bad.
“Hey… it’ll all make sense in the end. She wouldn’t do that. You know that! You know the press!” Alex really tries and you appreciate it, yet, right now, it’s hard for you to show your gratitude.
“Hm…” you hum and nod with empty eyes.
Ever since you’ve read the article, you have been waiting for Kathryn to reach out. She must have seen it. Jennifer must have seen it. Maybe they all did and it’s the truth and that’s why no one is saying anything.
Alex looks at you again. “It’s probably rumors! You know how it works.” More than ever before, she wishes she could simply wrap you you up in a long and loving hug and make you feel better. Sometimes, it’s hard for her to believe that you’ve been friends for as long as you have and the actress you are bonding about had more physical contact with you than she did. What a story to tell.
“I know,” you say, but the pictures keep being projected inside your head, “but the pictures. These… the pictures! His hands, the hotel, her not talking to me. It all just adds up.”
Alex sighs. You do, too. You both sit in silence.
———-
Still staring at the floor, Kathryn tenses. “Oh my god.”
The other woman stare at her with raised eyebrows.
“Y/N!! I was thinking about the press and all and totally forgot.. she must have read it! OH GOD. She… she…”
“You should probably call her…” Agnes nods.
Jennifer shakes her head. “Not now. You’re way too emotional over all of this. We should organize the press first. Write a statement if you really want to. But really, it isn’t that big of a deal.”
Agnes turns around harshly and faces Jennifer with a stern look on her face. “Excuse me, can you please be her friend again for a minute?” she points at Kathryn, “does she look like it’s not that big of a deal?”
They both face Kathryn again, who has gotten up to get dressed. Without another word, she walks past her friends and employees and storms out of the door, on her way to discuss the matter with Jeffrey.
Meanwhile, Jennifer decides to take matters into her own hands, since Kathryn seems to be way too distressed to hold a serious conversation today. Rumors about her client being with someone aren’t exactly new, but pictures taken of private situations are unacceptable. Without consulting Kathryn again, she decides to publish the statement right away to help her friend.
——-
It’s been two days since the incident and Kathryn hasn’t contacted you yet. Heartbroken, you got updated on the story as her team released a statement declaring that Kathryn wants to keep her privacy and asks for the pictures to be removed off of the internet.
You wish she would’ve called you, or at least texted, but little did you know that she got into a fight with Jeffrey as his team called the pictures good press for him and decided to not do anything about it. Following that, Jennifer took Kathryn’s phone away so that the actress could fully concentrate on the project for the rest of the week of shooting. A rule written into the contract by Kathryn herself, as she is aware she gets carried away from time to time.
Right as she has her phone back, she runs for an empty space and tries to call you. It’s the early afternoon and you are in an online class as your phone starts ringing. Reading her name, your heart drops to the floor. All the stress adds up and gets combined with the anger you feel inside of you. You take the call.
Her face fills the screen and her eyes widen as she sees the state you are in. “Honey, I’m so sorry.”
There is a moment of silence. A moment of silence where a storm is raging inside you. “NO. No. You don’t get to be like that. You don’t get to break my heart and then come back apologizing, asking me to pretend nothing happened!” Kathryn’s mouths is slightly agape and her even widen even more. She listens. “I gave you my heart, Kathryn! My time. Do you really think I’m whoring around? Staying with older woman to play round just like that? Is that what you think I am? A toy?”
You are enraged and the words keep coming and you want to call her names and scream, hold onto her and look into her eyes. But you can’t. You can’t and that’s why your words are turning into a waterfall of emotions and you yell at her as she doesn’t have a chance to react in any way.
“I can’t believe myself,” you shake your head. “I offer myself to you and there you are. Going out and sleeping with a man. A MAN. Excuse me for not having a career. Excuse me for not having a six pack like your new friend does. What the fuck, Kathryn. What the actual fuck.”
Kathryn realizes you saw the pictures. Of course you did. She raises her hand to give you a signal that she wants to talk. Your mouth, ready to rant again, closes and you look at her.
She takes a breath. “It isn’t true.”
“It…. Isn’t?” You squint your eyes.
“It isn’t.”
————
2 days ago
————
“Come and spend the night with me.”
Kathryn swirls around. “WHAT?”
Before she can help herself, she finds herself pinned against a table that is close to the window. Jeffreys face is only inches away as he slowly starts to lean in.
“STOP.” She says and tries to lean back.
Obviously confused, Jeffrey looks at her. “I thought we had a great night. What’s the problem, sweetheart? Don’t you miss having with… other people?” He smiles.
Kathryn shakes her head. “I’m… I’m seeing someone, Jeffrey. I’m sorry if this came across wrong but tonight wasn’t a date.”
He distances himself from her, utter disbelief plastered across his face. “Oh no.”
“Don’t worry, it’s not a problem. I just… I can’t. You’re a great man, but, no.”
He is still putting space in between them, looking at her with worried eyes. “Kathryn, I would’ve never. I thought you were flirting. I thought you sent signs. God, I am sorry for coming this close to you.. I… I’m just gonna leave, alright? Okay! Good night, Kathryn.”
“JEFF!” She calls for him before he can close the door. “You’re a good looking man. I bet lots of woman would kill to be me right now, but please, ask. Don’t just assume. Yeah?”
He nods and with that he leaves her room. As the door falls into its lock, Kathryn undresses her blazer and shirt and remembers to close the curtains before stripping completely to hop into the shower.
—————-
“It isn’t…..” you repeat.
“No. And I would never do that to you.” She looks at you with sad eyes. “And I can’t believe you would think I do.”
You look at each other for a moment and the sad smile on her face breaks your heart once again.
“I would never….” She repeats, whispering quietly, but loud enough for you to notice. “I would never, because….”
She stops and looks up to lock eyes with you. You are both crying and your heartbeat skips a few beats and you think you might actually pass out any second.
“I would never because I am falling. For you. I would never because I think I am in love with you.”
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itsbeaconhillsbaby · 4 years ago
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city lights, pretty sights || tom holland x reader
a/n: hello again! so i was completely overwhelmed by the lovely response my first tom holland mini fic/imagine/blurb thing received from you guys. and i had a couple more ideas so decided to keep going and see what you all think. once again - i hope you guys are liking these, let me know if you are and if you wanna have a chat about anything tom related - hmu, I'd love to chat! 
word count: 1673 warning: none (that i can remember anyways) summary: wandering through nyc late at night still in your premiere outfits; pizza, piggy back rides and cute scenes
“What’s your thoughts on pizza?” 
You nuzzle closer into the side of the figure next to you, feeling them guiding and supporting you along the path as you walk together. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t holding on a little tighter than normal. Looking up to him you grinned, hair falling out of the loose style it’d been sitting in all night, the bouncy curls now framing your face, “I love pizza.” You could feel the presence of Tom’s security, walking a little further back giving you both some space, but still close enough that if anything at all happened, they’d be there to get you both home. You approach a tiny little hole-in-the-wall takeaway pizzeria, Tom pulling himself behind you, keeping hold of your hand as you walked through the tiny entrance. “Two slices of your pepperoni pizza please?!” you ask, grabbing a couple dollars from inside your bag and handing it over to the man. the place was empty. “Ay, 2 minutes!” You thank him and lean back slightly, now bracing yourself against Tom as he wraps both his arms around your waist and tucks his chin into your neck. sweeping a couple tiny kisses below your ear. “Have I mentioned how beautiful you look tonight?” he whispers, brushing some hair behind your ear with his nose. “Only every single time you’ve looked at me,” you laugh, “It’s not every day I have make-up artists and dresses delivered to me. But I think you’ll find it’s me who can’t keep her eyes off of you. You were amazing tonight, y’know?” He hums into your bare shoulder, your body vibrating against his touch. Tonight was crazy; and you still couldn’t quite believe that it wasn’t all just some very elaborate dream. You had been making breakfast a couple days ago for you both, spoiling Tom now that he was back in London fresh off his press tour. You had come into the bedroom to tell him everything was ready when he pulled you down onto the bed and into his chest, gently asking if he could bring you as his plus one to his premiere in New York. The days that followed were crazy. Some designers had sent some dresses once they were told Tom was bringing a plus one, all eager to be the first to dress ‘her’. It was overwhelming to say the least. You were brought back from your memory by a saucy pizza aroma, your stomach reacting after now realising how long it had been since you’d eaten. You’d been so nervous all day, and everything was so stressful this morning...this pizza couldn’t come faster. Aside from your rumbling tummy, there was another big reason why neither of you had wanted to go straight home after the premiere. You hadn’t looked at your phones yet. Nor did you particularly want to. You knew the media would have been chomping at the bit to release the photos and articles of Tom and his ‘mystery girl’ - you were making the most of your normality with him before it was all blown to smithereens. Before you could dwell on that thought any longer, two slices of thick NYC pizza wrapped in napkins atop paper plates slid across the counter towards you. Tom unwound his arms from around your body and you both grabbed your slices before giving your thanks and leaving the pizzeria with a jingle of the bell above the door. //// You finished the last few bites of your pizza, leaving the crust before throwing it into the nearest bin. The city lights were glittering, cars still lining the streets despite the late hour. It definitely was the city that never sleeps and you loved it here. Despite it being hot and sticky all day, a cold wind had picked up and the material of your dress wasn’t exactly the warmest. Tiny little goosebumps has appeared on your arms, the little hairs standing up straight. “You wanna head back? It’s getting cold,” tom asked, he shuffled himself out of his burgundy suit jacket and held it open for you to put your arms in before sliding it up and over your shoulders, enveloping you. “-Or we can call a car here?” he continued. You had stopped where you stood, just at one of the entrances to central park. “We can have a car come in about 15 minutes if you want to take a little stroll about the park, Tom?” His security guard had noticed the lack of movement and had come over to see if either of you needed his assistance. “That sounds great, thank you!” you called, refusing to let this day end just yet. “Thank you for today, the paparazzi and the media and all the shouting. It’s a lot to deal with. Would put many off, but you handled it like a complete pro. We did the right thing didn’t we?” Tom asked, keeping his eyes forward to the grassy path lined with trees. “Hey. Look at me.” You turn him to face you, the lamplights highlighting his eyes as they trained themselves onto you, “I knew what I was getting myself into, and no amount of press or media stunts are gonna ruin this. No way. We’ll deal with it - as long as you want to keep making these films, I’ll support you. through the good and the bad, right?” He shifts on his feet, slightly uncomfortable with the conversation. His lifestyle had gotten in the way of his relationships before, you knew that. and Tom felt deeply about the people he loved. It was partly why you loved him and a reason why you’d both agreed to keep you out of the limelight for a while. You knew he was giving you a get out of jail free card. A reason to leave if you needed it. “I’m in this. I promise,” you reassured him. Youu bring your hands up to his face, caressing his cheek slightly, brushing the curls out of his face with your hand, “Since when did you get so soppy anyway?” “What can I say...it’s part of the charm!” you saw that twinkle jump back into his eyes, his playful energy taking centre stage pushing the tiredness, vulnerability and fear to the back of his mind. You continued to walk through the park a little, still within eyeshot of the entrance, careful not to wander too far. Enjoying each other’s company in a peaceful section of this intense city. At that moment, in classic NYC style, the heavens opened up and a heavy rainstorm thundered into the ground. The pair of you started laughing, the rain catching you both slightly as you took cover under one of the trees lining the pathway. You noticed Tom’s security waving you over, your car was here and the stretch from where you were both sheltered under the tree to the entrance was fully open. “Right, hop on!” You look at Tom confused as he squats down slightly, his arms held out behind him. Gathering up your dress slightly, you grip onto his shoulders, count down from 3 and hop onto his back, wrapping your legs around his waist and linking your arms around his shoulders and neck, clinging on with your face pressed into his hair. “Go go go!” You burst out laughing as he makes a beeline for the car, the rain pelting down on the both of you, completely soaking the pair of you to the bone. Your hair whipped around your face and you could hear Tom laughing as he ran, you couldn’t help but join in. You closed your eyes, tilted your head up and let it hit you for a moment, you were by far the luckiest girl in the world. You’d reached the car before you knew it, Tom gently lowered you back to the ground as you hopped back off - keeping your dress off the ground in the hopes not to ruin it completely. Opening the car door and ducking your head in, you slid across the seats, Tom on your heels. “Well, that was unexpected.” Tom looked at you, his full curls plastered to his head - shirt dripping, and burst out laughing, “I love you but you look like a raccoon.” You playfully hit on him on the shoulder before bursting into laughter yourself, “Oh shut up. ” //// Tom was, as expected, trending on all social media the next day. Articles and photos of his past relationships and rumoured romances brought to the surface as your red-carpet photos together came to light. However, the press hadn’t caught the best photos of the night at all.
In amongst all the posed pictures, two slightly blurry but still recognisable photos were moving their way across the internet. One taken by a fan through the window and across the road from the pizzeria - of Tom cuddling you from behind as you leaned back into him dressed in gown and tux. And another, of you with your head back, hair wild, laughing and Tom carrying you on his back, floppy and curly hair, massive grin and eyes crinkling at the sides - taken by another fan, you suspected. As gorgeous as the media pics were, you knew behind them was stress and nervousness from both parties, and you couldn’t help the feeling in your stomach that someone had managed to capture both of you completely natural and free, enjoying yourselves and each other on such a monumental day for both Tom and for your relationship. You liked and saved both the pictures before hearing the click of your phone locking shut as you placed it back on the bedside table. Rolling over you curled yourself behind Tom before he shifted himself onto his back, arm sliding under your shoulders and shifting you into his side. You close your eyes as he presses a sleepy kiss to your forehead and you let yourself finally relax - completely and utterly content.
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pianorexic000 · 4 years ago
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Sweetspo Saturday
Hi y’all, so today is sweetspo Saturday.......
it speaks for itself. By the way, none of these are mine. I take no credit I have 0 creativity.
I dream of collarbones and thigh gaps, of hips jutting out and ribs just visible, casting shadows on porcelain flesh. I dream of crop tops and denim shorts, of thigh highs and sugar highs. And when I lay in bed at night, counting the calories of the day before my mind can’t help but wander, and I press into my doughy stomach, feel the hips hiding underneath, and remind myself how far I’ve come, and how far I still have to go.
Please listen, I know, I know it’s hard but listen, focus, you, you the most beautiful person on this whole entire planet you are going to make it, I promise you sweetheart, you’re going to make it. Think about it, think about how skinny you’ll be, how happy you will be, how you are going to be able to wear what you want, how you are going to be able to eat what you want and no one is going to make you feel bad for eating, no one. They’re going to be jealous, so fucking jealous, jealous of how you look and how you feel. They’re going to envy you. So stand up, keep your pretty head up and go. Exercise, drink water, eat less, eat healthy, sleep, do yoga, dance around. Get skinny and be finally happy. Please be finally happy.
You’ve been so disappointed in yourself lately. You’ve cursed those girls with a fast metabolism and regretted so much, sweetie. Countless of times you’ve thought, planned and wished to be skinny. I know you want this so badly, honey. But it’s never going to be given to you, sugar. You have to work for it and make yourself proud! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و
I know you’re very impatient with your weight-loss. You want to lose it NOW and would do anything to wake up tomorrow at you ugw. But that’s never going to happen, doll. It’ll take time, but you will get there, sweetie. You just have to be persistent and never give up. The road is very long, and there will be days where it’ll feel hopeless, angel. But i promise you that those days where you feel incredibly sexy and comfortable in your own skin are just around the corner. You’ll get there baby, but it’ll take time. So don’t beat yourself up.
You’ll look good in everything; you remember that bikini with the cute print? yes, you’ll look beautiful in it. you won’t look like a fat pig.
people will be jealous; they’ll envy you. you’ll become thinner while others are getting fatter.
you’ll be dainty; you’ll be the lightest in the room. everyone will be able to pick you up effortlessly.
others will compliment you; people will look at you and say “wow, have you lost weight?” “you look great!” “i wish i looked like you.”
you won’t be able to keep more than a cup of food down; you’ve trained your body, you and your body both know its limits.
you’ll have power; you can can control how you look, you’ll have control. self control instead of eating everything in sight. you’ll be proud when you refuse a chocolate bar someone is offering.
are you going to keep saying “i’ll do it tomorrow”
or are you going to start today?
you’ll get there sweetie, make them regret the day they dare call you fat; they’ll start talking GOOD behind your back; “she is losing so much weight omg” “ i wanna look like her.” “im so jealous of her tiny waist.”
make it happen, you cause the gain of weight
and the loss of weight.
It's Okay!
You were really bad this weekend weren’t you? You ate fatty food and cheated on your diet? I know you bash yourself for pushing yourself further from your goal, but it was just Easter and you were enjoying spending time with your family. Unfortunately that included eating. Thin is all you think about cutie, why would you stuff your face uncontrollably like that, sugar? You can’t stop now, i know it’s hard but it’ll be worth it in the end.
Meanspo
Dear You,
You’ve grown up being the “big” girl. You’ve grown up being the “I want seconds” girl. You entered college being the “let’s eat out because it’s easier” girl.
When will you be the “I eat healthy” girl? The “people can pick me up” girl? The “I love my body” girl?
Today? Oh, right, you say tomorrow. Funny, that’s what you said yesterday.
It’s YOUR fault you’re fat. You don’t control your fatty urges to binge and stuff your face. One day, you’ll regret that. And that day is TODAY. If you regret it, then make a change. Skip that meal. Eat less calories. Exercise and burn what you have consumed and stored from your past pathetic eating habits. Get rid of your fatty urges. BECOME SKINNY…Become beautiful. Because if you don’t start today, you’ll only hate yourself tomorrow… again.
Do it. Do it so you can wear cute short shorts without everyone looking at your thighs and being disgusted.
Do it for that bitch who always called you fat at middle school.
Do it for that fuckboy who never looked at you as girlfriend potencial.
Do it so you can be confident.No seriously you’ll never be confident with that big tummy dude.
Do it so you don't ALMOST DIE in fitting rooms.
Do it for the cute clothes.
Do it for the summer.
Do it for the pool parties and how all of your friends will be SHOOK at your perfect body.
Do it for that life little baby. You deserve it. You deserve so much happiness.
Imagine you’re sitting at your desk in your perfectly decorated bedroom. You’re doing school work (all A’s of course), and since the lighting is good, you stop studying for a second and take a selfie.
You notice your collarbones are perfectly peaking out, and your chest bones are slightly visible. You have no makeup on but you still look absolutely gorgeous. Your flawless skin (that you got from not eating junk food all the time) looks great on your camera. Your thin arms look especially toned in this picture, and your smile is unforgettable.
You decide to post it to Instagram, and it instantly gets likes and comments saying how gorgeous you look. You want to keep studying…but the amount of likes and attention is distracting!
You think to yourself “Amazing how my life has changed. 30lbs ago I barely got 30 likes. My grades were bad and I had horrible acne…it’s so great what being thin can do to a person”
One day I won’t have to suck in
One day I’ll sit down and not have belly rolls
One day my thighs won’t touch
One day I’ll be able to see my ribs
One day I’ll step on the scale and smile
One day I’ll be able to smile at my protruding collar bones
One day I’ll wear the clothes I want
One day I’ll be confident
One day I’ll be skinny
do it for the boy who leaves your snapchats at read. imagine how quickly he’ll reply when he sees how good you look in your new body. do it for the girls you envy, the girls who show up in crop tops and short shorts whilst you hide behind a baggy sweater. imagine how proud you’ll feel when you can finally wear what you want and look just as good, if not better than them. do it for the people who bullied you about your weight and the boys who turned you down because of it. watch them gawk and whisper among themselves at how much weight you’ve lost. do it for the mean girls, the ones that walk around school like they own the place, the ones who’s parties you never get invited to, the ones that all the boys want. prove yourself to them. soon they’ll notice you and you’ll be too proud to care. own your new found confidence, throw your own parties, feel wanted. do it for the boy you’ve been crushing on since the first time you met. make him want you just as you wanted him. laugh at yourself as he chases after you. watch him suffer just as you did. do it for the bikini you’ve never had the body to wear. make your old self proud. wear that bikini. finally feel good in it. go to the beach and the pool and show it off. it belongs on you. do it for yourself. do it for your own happiness and do it right now. you deserve this. it might take some time and maybe you’re growing impatient. but it’s okay, everything good takes time. so be safe, stay strong, and don’t give up. this will be worth the wait. trust me.
I literally cannot fucking wait until I’m thin. I can’t wait to not feel like the outsider in my friend group. I can’t wait to not feel like the ugly friend. I can’t wait to be as thin as my best friend and for people to not see me as a charity case. I can’t wait to be able to go shopping and not worry about what will hide my fat. I can’t wait to see my collarbones and feel great in shorts. I can’t wait to be able to post selfies confidently from any angle and get as many likes as all the thin girls from school. I can’t wait to be someone else’s thinspo. I can’t wait to be happy with myself. I can’t wait to be thin.
Okie lovey, I know you might have had a rough couple of days or maybe you’ve been doing everything right and you just need a little pick me up. That’s okay too. I’m here for you, maybe not there physically but I’m still here. Make some tea, and take a bath; while you’re in there light a few candles and take time for yourself. Paint your nails read a book or simply think about bettering yourself. You’re almost there, I’m so excited for you! I’m going to be there when you cross that finish line (UGW). Finished with tea? Are you hungry? No. Exactly, chin up sweetheart, you got this. I love you
10 Reasons I want to be Thin
1. A flat stomach looks so good in anything. 2. No more armpit fat. 3. Finally have a thigh gap (again). 4. Feel beautiful and in control 5. people you already know will ask you how you did it, new people you meet will fall in love with you. 6. Go on adventures and have fun without worrying about your fat jiggling around. 7. Tan outside or at the lake without wanting to die because you’re too fat for a bikini. 8. Going out to parties and making friends because you’re confident and beautiful. 9. Not wanting to cry every time you see your full body in a mirror/ reflection. 10. Not crying in general anymore. Finally being happy.
11 Reasons Why I'm Doing This
1. To be the skinny friend
2. So I can be lifted up and be called light
3. To wear anything and still look cute
4. To have pretty bones to show off
5. To hear those words; ‘Have you lost weight?’
6. To not feel guilty when having a sweet treat (occasionally!)
7. To wear tight jeans and not have a muffin top
8. To not want to cry every time I look in the mirror
9. To not feel embarrassed in a bikini or swimsuit
10. To sit on someone’s lap without fear of crushing them
11. To finally feel happy with myself
They are in the kitchen making dinner. It smells so good, and all you want to do is have some. But would that make you happy? Would that food actually do anything for you? Sure, it would taste good. But as soon as you swallow, it would be gone. You’d take a drink of water, and the taste would wash away. Five minutes of fun, and then you’d be full. Full of food, regret, hate, shame, and disgust. Today would be yet another day wasted. So go ahead, eat the food. Be the fat tub of lard you always have been. Or don’t. Don’t eat the food. Be a day closer to your goal.
The choice is yours.
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marvelatthetwilight · 4 years ago
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The Last Secret
Part 1: The Secret
Part 2: The Secret’s Out
Part 3: Secrets and Lies
Part 4: Sick of Secrets
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Demetri’s POV
I follow Carlisle, carrying Y/N into a room at the end of a hallway. The room is set up as a study, but there is medical equipment to one side. Carlisle gestures to the bed and I place Y/N down gently. I can still faintly hear her heartbeat, although her breathing is raspy and laboured. I look at Carlisle, pleading with him to help her.
“She’s lost a lot of blood Demetri. I will do what I can, but the only way to save her may be to turn her” his face looks anguished as he speaks, I know that Y/N was close with all of the Cullens so they will do what they can to help her.
I wince at the idea of changing her so soon. We hadn’t had the opportunity to discuss her feelings, although we have talked about spending forever together. She might be expecting her forever to start in a few years. A few years that I should have been able to give her. I wasn’t able to protect her like I should have. I took her away from her friends and family and put her at risk.
He ushers me out of the room as I stand bewildered, looking out the window, listening closely to Y/N’s faint heartbeat.
Edward appears beside me, I know he has been listening to my thoughts, and normally I would be furious, but today I do not care, I just wish for Y/N to be OK.
“Demetri, I think you should come and talk to Bella, she and Y/N are very close and she may be able to give you an insight into Y/N’s feelings on being turned.”
I nod, and follow him down the hallway to the living room, holding on to the faint sound of Y/N’s heart as I walk away.
I walk into the room to be greeted by Bella, the small child and a creature who I assume to be one of the wolves Y/N told me about. Jacob I think? I look to Edward for confirmation and he smiles as he nods.
“Renesmee, Jacob, this is Demetri, Y/N’s...mate.”
The young girl walks towards me with her hand outstretched and hesitates before looking to her mother for approval. I lean forward slightly and she places her hand on my cheek.
Flashes of memories fill my head; Y/N holding Renesmee as a baby, rocking and cooing her as she sleeps, Y/N and Renesmee playing hide and seek, playing board games with Jacob and cuddling on the sofa watching movies.
The final memory is longer, it doesn’t flash in my head like a snapshot, there is sound like a video.
Y/N and Renesmee planting flowers in the garden.
“Are you going to become like mother and father and be with me forever Y/N?”
Renesmee looks to Y/N, and her face lights up as she smiles.
“I will be like your mother and father, but I won’t be able to stay here, with you forever Nessie. I will lead my own life, with my love, but I will try to visit you, and you can visit me.”
The memory ends and Renesmee looks to me expectantly. I realise then that my mouth is wide open in shock, and Renesmee laughs as I quickly close it.
“Demetri if you have to make the choice today, make it. She will not be mad with you, this is what she wants. She wants to live out her life with you.” Bella states as she walks towards where I am standing still with Renesmee.
Why are they all being so kind after everything I have done? I took Y/N away without saying goodbye, I knew that Aro had a nefarious plan and I did not help.
Edward coughs slightly, to gain my attention. Oh yes, he can hear me.
“We know you only did what you did to protect her. That you would do anything to protect her. We hold no ill will towards you Demetri.” Edward says as he steps closer to Bella and puts an arm around her waist.
“Demetri.” Carlisle’s voice rings out from the room down the corridor.
I quickly make my way to him and can immediately tell from his face that a decision must be made.
“She has lost too much blood. I have repaired her wound as best I can but I cannot be confident in her outcome. If you wish to save her, I believe she must be turned.”
I nod. But I’m immediately unsure if I have the willpower to stop myself to turn her, and I look back to Edward, knowing he has heard my concern.
“Demetri, you found Y/N covered in blood, you carried her here without the thought of tasting her even crossing your mind. Your bond is strong, I don’t think you would be able to hurt her.” He pulls Bella towards himself as he speaks again.
“I know from experience, when it comes to saving your love, the taste of blood does not matter.”
I turn back to Carlisle. “I will change her” I state with confidence.
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I make my way into the room, Y/N is pale, her stomach covered in a bandage, hiding her stitches. Hiding where I failed her.
Carlisle and Edward stay in the room with me, just in case.
I hold her hand up to my face and kiss the back of it softly. “I love you” I whisper, before turning her hand and biting into her wrist. I bite long enough to let me venom flow through her but not to drink, though the sweet taste of her blood lingers on my lips from my bite. It’s like nectar, not like any blood I have ever tasted before. I shake my head to shake away the thoughts and pull her hand away.
“Should I do it again, to be sure?” I look to Carlisle for confirmation and he nods.
I move closer to her, my face now next to hers, and I take in her scent, before turning her head away to reach her neck. I lay a soft kiss on her neck before biting down, the sweet nectar of her blood filling my mouth. I feel like I am drowning in her before I am pulled away by Carlisle and Edward.
“Enough Demetri, enough.” Carlisle shouts, his voice pulling me out of my thoughts and back into the room.
“And now we wait.” I sigh.
“Now we wait” Edward and Carlisle repeat.
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Three days pass in the company of the Cullens. I travel to Seattle to feed, as promised, but I hate being so far from Y/N in case she wakes. I make quick work of it, finding the first person who takes my fancy and making my way back to the Cullen’s house as soon as I have disposed of the body.
When I open the door to the house, the house is buzzing with movement, something I had not noticed for the past few days. Jacob had taken Renesmee to the Reservation to be safe, just in case Y/N had trouble with her thirst, so the active, childlike energy had disappeared. Most of the Cullens took to reading, waiting in anticipation for their friend to wake up.
But suddenly this was different. Alice meets me as a I close the front door.
“It’s nearly time.” She states with a grin on her face.
“How do you know?” I ask in confusion, I still don’t fully understand how her power works, and I’m not sure if I want to know what she has seen.
“Edward can hear her”. This has piqued my interest.
I follow Alice into the room where Y/N lay on the bed, Edward and Carlisle standing to her left.
“She’s thinking about you Demetri” Edward whispers with a smile. “It’s mostly memories of her human life, but I can hear her, she’s nearly ready to wake.”
Carlisle ushers everyone but me out of the room, I pull over a chair from the edge of the room to Y/N’s bedside and hold her hand. I gently caress her face with my other hand, my fingers running the outline of her jaw, her lips. The venom has lengthened her eyelashes, her lips plumper, but she was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen when she was human, so there was little vampire venom could do to change that. I bring her hand to my lips and close my eyes as I kiss it, willing her to wake.
“Demetri...what happened?”
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Y/N’s POV
My eyes flutter open and I look around me. My vision is...different...I can see small speckles of dust flying in the rays of sun shining through the window. My eyes dart around the room before landing on the fair hair of Demetri, his head bent forwards as he kisses my hand.
“Demetri, what happened?” I whisper, my voice hoarse from not speaking.
“Y/N, my love, you are awake!” Demetri cups my face with his hands and peppers my face with kisses before pressing his lips to mine.
I laugh before I feel a burn in my throat, I scratch at my neck in an attempt to ease the pain. Demetri’s eyes widen before he rushes to the fridge in the corner of the room and retrieves what look like blood bags.
“What are those for?” Demetri looks at me with a pained expression, his eyes willing me to understand.
“I’m...I’ve...been turned?” I look up at him, his face showing deep sorrow, and I realise that he feels he is to blame for whatever happened.
I take the bag from his hands and place it in my lap before taking his hands in mine.
“I don’t need to know what happened, I know that you would have done everything you could and that this was the right decision.” I pull him towards me and kiss him.
“You don’t want to know?” He questions.
“It can be the last secret between us. I don’t need to know, I don’t want to know. It’s not needed. But what is needed is this, how do I do this?”
I hold up the blood bag to my mouth and I’m immediately hit with the smell. The burning in my throat intensifies and I bite into the bag in desperation, guzzling the contents within seconds. Just as I finish the first bag, Demetri holds up a second, and then a third, before I feel the burning begin to cool in my throat.
Demetri holds up a fourth bag and I growl possessively, I reach out to grab it just as a zap noise leaves my palms and Demetri shouts out in pain, dropping the bag onto the bed.
“What on earth was that Y/N?” Demetri growls as he rubs his hand defensively.
“I think that was me?” I say sheepishly, before grabbing the fourth bag and emptying it.
Edward appears at the door and shares a look with Demetri, his eyebrows raise at me.
“Well, that’s an interesting development Y/N. You appear to have a gift.”
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mywonuderful · 4 years ago
Text
WEi reaction to you wearing their shirt
anon’s request: Hey hai! Idk if this is categorized as smut but I think it's not too explicit so I wanna try hehe. Can I request WEi's reaction towards us only wearing their shirt? Thank you! ><
a/n: sorry this took longer than expected I was finishing up with finals when I got this request but nonetheless, I did this in bullet point form instead so I hope you don't mind it! thank you for requesting anon!
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Daehyun
i just want to say how smol he looks when all the members team up to make fun of him
but regardless of that let's say he's over at your place to watching a movie together
"hurry up! the movie is going to start without you!" he yelled from the living room
you were in your room, changing into something more loose and cozier for the m o o d so you just grabbed whatever came into your sight without giving much thought
you walked out into the living room where Daehyun was sitting on one end of the couch, arm resting on top of the armrest
he glances over his shoulder as he heard your footsteps approached and did a double take as you stood in front of him. he doesn't move, eyes fixed on you and then the shirt you're wearing before you looked down, cheeks turning pink as you realized that you were wearing his shirt
"is that-"
"i just grabbed the first thing i saw" you said in a hurry as he tried to hide his smile and his blushing cheeks
the commercials were finally coming to an end as the opening scene started playing. You motioned him to scoot over but he doesn't budge.
"the movie is starting..."
"nevermind the movie, that can wait. let me admire you in my shirt for a moment." he reached for the remote, pressing pause before gently pulling you to sit on his lap as the both of you exchanged soft eyes and chuckles.
"you should start wearing my shirts more often"
Donghan
you were at the boy's dorms as they didn't have any schedules for the day. everyone was scattered around the living room, doing their own things as they spend their time relaxing.
Yohan suggested to open the window because of how bright the sun was shinning but you couldn't help but to feel goosebumps on your skin as the afternoon breeze brushed your skin.
you stood up from Donghan's embrace as he was sharing his advice on some new device that Seokhwa wanted to get and headed to his closet. opening the door to his walk-in closest was racks of shirts from different style, colors and fabrics. you tapped your chin, deciding what to wear before you felt a pair of arms hugging your waist.
"welcome to Donghan's closet, what can I do for you today?" he rested his chin on top of your shoulder was in hummed, eyes scanning the line of clothes
"hmm, maybe something warm" you commented before the weight on your shoulder was gone as you were turned around to face Donghan. "it's a little chilly with the windows opened" you added in your defense before he gave you the 'i told you to dress warm yet you come here wearing a t-shirt' look
"I can't even tell if you planned this or not anymore" he sighed in defeat as your cheerfully smiled.
"Well I guess I would be lying if I said I didn't like you taking my clothes anyways." he confessed as the two of you laughed before he helped you picked out a sweater
Yongha
I apologize for my lack of knowledge in (combat) gaming in advance as I only know super smash bros and street fighter
"what took you so long? I'm going to start the game without you!" was the first thing you heard from Yongha as you set foot into their dorm.
he was starting at the edge of the bed, legs crossed as he choose his characters, eyes not even taking a glance at you. you pouted at his actions as you purposely dropped you bag on his coffee table, making a loud thud
still no reaction from him :/
feeling disappointed, you sat beside him as the two of you went for a couple of rounds (?) of super smash bros
"c'mon Y/N, I swear you're not even trying" the screen showed your character in defeat as his won. He fell back on his bed, letting out a irresistible smile.
"okay okay how about this. next game, loser of 2 of 3 pays for chicken." he sat back up, hoping to get you some determination on actually playing the game when his eyes widen from taken notice of what you were wearing, his face changing from his smooth honey skin to a shade of a tomato.
"is that my sh-"
"finally someone is taking a notice." you grumbled as he placed his controller down before hugging you, nuzzling his nose on your neck to hide his embarrassment. "you know I can never back down on a deal. Let's get it over it." you picked up your controller, already knowing that you can't stand a chance from Yongha
but to your surprised, after 3 rounds, you won 2 of them, making Yongha the loser of his deal
"I won! Chicken is on you!" You cheered as you jumped on his bed. He sat there, staring at the screen dumbfounded from reality.
"thats not fair." he whined as you sat back down. he pouted his lips as you squished his cheeks. "I was distracted by you wearing my shirt."
"well now I guess I know what your weakness is when it comes to playing games"
Yohan
he planned a little date with you to go strolling down the city streets. you decided to wear something causal and went with a pair of jeans and his t-shirt that you tucked in.
you were waiting at the spot that the both of you agreed on meeting as you glanced at your phone for the time. you were early by a few mintues.
from a distance Yohan was making his way over when he turned in and saw a familiar figure but couldn't tell if it was you since it was the back.
you hear light footsteps approaching before you lifted your head from your phone, turning around check who it was
*cue fading starlight by annyeong bada*
he stops at his steps as you stood in front of him, eyes widen from since he didn't expect it to be you
"ah, why is it so bright all of a sudden?" he squinted his eyes, trying to cover your brightly shining appearance as your playfully punched his chest from his cringe-worth line. he looked at your outfit as you did the same to him, before looking back on your own, seeing the same thing
"isn't that my shirt?" the both of you said at the same time before he raised an eyebrow at you as you were about to explain yourself.
"your shirt? I was looking for that shirt for the longest time!" he pointed at his t-shirt you were wearing. You looked down at it with guilt before he pulled you into a hug. "I'm just joking, love."
"hey, didn't you say you always wanted to try couple pairing?" you suddenly recalled him mentioning it as he looked down at you.
"well, I guess we truly are meant to be having that we wore the same thing without even planning it."
Seokhwa
you promised Seokhwa to help take some photos for him for his Instagram post and so here you are, getting ready to head out to the shooting shot that he suggested. Since you were only taking pictures, you didn't try out on dressing, knowing that Seokhwa finds you looking effortless in anything you wear
you made your way over to the spot as he stood with a few of his members as they all finished their schedules today.
you quietly went behind Seokhwa before jumping in attempt to scare him. he turned around to meet you with a smile before pulling you into a hug his members pretending to throw up
"it's that-"
"that looks familiar"
"Seokhwa's shirt?"
"So she can wear it but not me?"
all the members started to take notice of you wearing his shirt as your unconsciously covered your body with your arms
"hey hey hey, but in all seriousness when you take it?" he turns to face you as you let out a cheeky smile
"last week when I came over and you were too busy fanboying over Apink, mister hardcare pink panda" you crossed your arms, narrowing your eyes at him as he looked away, pretending now to hear.
"I'm sorry love." he kissed your forehead "but you know i'll always be the biggest fanboy for you? Especially when you're wearing my shirt, it's making me hard to keep my fanboying to myself." He bent to whisper into your ear as a flushed creeps past your face and ears
"a little heads up but if I let my fanboy self out today, it's on Y/N" he confessed to his members as they all broke out into fits of laugh and teasing
Junseo
my bias wreaker in WEi because he's t h a t handsome and my self confidence drops because of him
after 2 weeks of their recent comeback which meant hectic schedules and performances, you finally have Junseo for yourself as he was over at your place for a sleepover. You were cuddling in his arms as he showed you pictures of places and food he wants to try and visit in Jeju.
"We have to visit the Sunrise Park if we every get a chance to visit Jeju." you hummed in response as he took notice that your eyes were getting tired. "Do you want to sleep?" you nodded in response as he kissed your nose. He got up to use the washroom as you changed out of your loungewear into your pajamas before hopping back into bed. He got out and crawled onto bed before joining you.
you faced each other as you traced his features with your finger as he playing with your hair when he noticed you wearing his shirt, making him sit up.
"is there something wrong?" you followed and sat up as you saw his face tinting into red.
"is that your pajamas?" he pointed at what you were wearing before you feel into a shade of pink, getting caught red-handed for wearing his clothes.
"a-ah... I'll wash it and-"
"come here" he cut you off as he laid on his side, facing you as he patted the spot beside him, telling you to lay beside him. you silently followed. "you can keep it. I think you look better in it than me" you let out a muffled chuckle
"I only wore it because I missed you." You admitted into his chest, feeling regret as the last words left your mouth.
"what? I couldn't hear you clearly?" He lifted your chin for you to look at him. He has a smile that you knew you wouldn't escape unless you repeated your words.
"you were busy for the past 2 weeks... So this was the closest thing I could get from having a breakdown from missing you" you shyly mumbled as he stroked your back, making your eyelids get heavier and heavier.
"well, you can forget about that shirt because I'll be the closet thing to you."
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