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klunkcat · 1 day ago

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50 VAGUE ANGSTY + HURT/COMFORT DIALOGUE PROMPTS

42. "Tell me what I did wrong! What's wrong with me?!" + rise A Team 🥺

You keep requesting things that I know will hurt ur feelings!!!

TW: panic attack, derealization/dissociation

Waking up in the med bay had been less painful than this. He’d broken fourteen bones and fractured three more, been coughing up blood and some thick substance he was very sure was never supposed to be on the outside but he’d thought, ‘hey, we won’.

This didn’t feel like winning. This felt like standing on the other side of a very long tunnel and seeing the world from a sideways tilt.

He’d been allowed out of the med bay for a glorious two days– mostly to lay up on the couch instead of the stiff medical room— and missed somewhere that the world had actually ended. Because when Raph leaned over him to grab his glass of water on the table beside him, Leo flinched.

It wasn’t him, he decided. Because Leo had never once in his life feared anything from his big brother, not even when Raph had gone through his snapping phase. Because Raph was Raph and that meant the biggest warmest hugs you could imagine, and big wet watering eyes and crying over commercials with kittens that sneezed too hard. It couldn’t be him that saw Raph moving forward and thought of pink, slimy tendrils, and felt his airways closing with a sharp thrum of oh god and I’m going to die, because that didn’t make sense.

Raph froze, eyes wide. Leo fell further outside himself.

The other him made his hand move, he didn’t feel it move. The other him spoke.

“Oh, ha. Sorry, static must have shocked me.” From the blankets, yeah. That made sense. This other him that jumped at things at least had his wits, that was reassuring.

“Leo,” Raph said very slowly. Some hindbrain red alert crawled all the way up from his heart and right out his mouth, and into that other version of him that was staying very still.

“I didn’t— I didn’t mean to.”

Raph put his arm down just as slowly, leaned back like he could telegraph every moment. His eyes stayed wide and locked on to him. “Okay, that’s okay.”

“It wasn’t you,” the other him said, and Leo couldn’t feel his lips moving but he desperately wanted to be able to shut him up. “It wasn’t um— just. Jumpy. Pulled something funny, you know with the. The bandages.”

Shit, Leo thought. Stick to the script, pal.

“Right,” Raph said, without blinking. Like he was thinking something else.

“Don’t do that,” other him said. “Okay, the big brother voice thing. I don’t need it, let’s just. Watch the movie, right?”

He was suddenly aware of Donnie by his kneecaps, Mikey staring at him from the mound of pillows he’d made at Don’s legs. He needed this other him to shape up, acting classes were a must. He was flubbing big time, Leo did not flub.

Raph shifted again, molasses slow, and gave Donnie a look. His twins face twitched with a nod, and he summarily picked up Mikey, blanket and all and shuffled into his lab. Traitor, Leo thought vaguely. Pincer attack, coordinated front. He hated that. That was his and Don’s thing.

Stepping on my turf, he meant to say. Other Leo’s mouth didn’t move, so he was useless.

“Actually, Raph’s a little worried.”

Oh, Leo thought, oh no. Fear lanced through him again, in some distant way. He could see his fingers twitching and couldn’t make them stop. “Worried? About what. Can I help, big guy?”

Raph hummed. “Think you could, yeah. We haven’t talked about everything that happened, have we?”

Well, Mikey had made him talk a little, about why he thought it would be okay to choose himself without telling anyone else first. Hugged him as tightly as he could with Leo’s broken ribs for three solid hours until Leo’d given in and promised he’d be kinder to himself. Donnie had been furious at him for three straight days somewhere after he’d blearily woken up from his coma, but they hadn’t talked directly about why yet. Suddenly, the look he’d caught clicks.

He was still too outside himself to react the right way. Other Leo looked away and twisted the blanket in his hands.

Ever so slowly, he felt Raph’s warm hand land on his knee. He could see it, his big brother’s hand, green and normal. No spikes, no pink. He could breathe out— there was a rope somewhere there that guides him closer enough that he can flip his own hand around and squeeze.

“Nothing to talk about, bro bro,” Leo managed, but it was croaky and lacking all the usual fizz. Fizzless, him. The horror was nearly too much to think about.

The look Raph gave him was half a wince of apology, half tangled up exasperation. He didn’t like that there was guilt there. That didn’t fit. Raph hadn’t done a single thing wrong.

“Leo.”

He made himself swallow. “Raphala.”

Raph sighed. Flipped Leo’s hand over so he could stare down at the bandages crossing his palm. He’d burnt the inside of his fingers somehow, he couldn’t even say when it happened. Silly, really. He’d laughed when Don had told him. Come to think of it, Dee hadn’t really looked like he’d agreed with the joke then either.

He watched the way Raph traced his thumb across the white gauze, the way his face twisted and crashed down with mounting horror.

“I’m so sorry, Leo. You know I love you, right?”

Other Leo made a second appearance, making his hands go numb. “I— of course? I love you too, what does that—?”

Raph’s non bandaged eye blazed when he looked up at him, swimming in the dim movie light. “I hurt you, Leo. I took your trust and I hurt you with it. Raphie’s so sorry.”

That didn’t— Leo blinked rapidly. The world fell out of focus, clicked free of its puzzle piece board. Out into the ether. “Stop apologizing.”

“Leo—”

“No!” Other him said it sharp, loud. Too electric behind the words, he winced at himself and didn’t feel his face move. “You don’t— you don’t get to apologize to me. That doesn’t— what are you talking about Raph?”

Somehow his brother’s face only fell further, it made the panic in Leo’s chest sticky. “I said that wrong, I don’t—” It was so hard to think, why couldn’t he make himself think? “I’m not afraid of you! I’m not.” He wasn’t. Because it was Raph.

“It’s okay if you are, buddy. Raph understands—”

“I’m not!” Leo bit out, and blinked rapidly again as the world falls further out to sea. “I put you in danger, I jumped in and— I did something stupid, and you got brainwashed. Because I fucked up. Why aren’t you mad at me? Tell me what I did wrong!”

What’s wrong with me, he thought, vibrant and liquid like toxic sludge seeping down to his core.

He couldn’t even see right anymore, everything had gone shapes and colors. It wasn’t even Raph in front of him, it was something. It was nothing and—

“--breathe with me, okay? In. Out, that’s it. That’s perfect, Bug, keep doing that.”

The Bug snapped him together, pulls all of his strings forward. Raph hadn’t called him that since they were toddlers, when he and Donnie had started insisting being twins and Raph tried to play along. Bug and Boo, he’d said all proud. Donnie had hated it instantly and rebuked any attempt at being called something so sweet by biting. Leo’d tried to make it fit a little better, since Raph seemed to like it so much.

‘S it b’cause I bug you?’ Leo’d said, sad and puddling up but hiding it with a teasing smile he knew would make the hurting less loud.

Raph had smoothed his hand across his head and grinned. ‘It’s cause you’re my favorite bug.’ But it sounded like a good thing when Raph said it.

Leo forced in a breath, feels his hands become his hands and his toes firmly plant as his toes. “Sorry,” he managed. “Sorry, went. Um. Somewhere. Back.”

Raph’s big worried eye peered down at him, he let go of Leo’s hand with a firm squeeze. Leo shook his head, clearing out all the fuzz as much as he could.

“I need you to hear me, just for a second. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Raph tried, worry making his voice small. “Can you believe me on that one thing? You were brave, and you got us through it, and most importantly you got Leo through it. I’m not mad.”

Leo scoffed, staring down at the blanket instead. Raph carefully scrubs a hand across the top of Leo’s head, warm and calloused the way he knows.

“Raph wanted you safe. That’s all. And I hurt you, so it’s okay if you— if you need time.”

Leo snapped his eyes up, grabbing at Raph’s hand again even before he pulled away. “I don’t! I don’t need you to go anywhere, or leave or. Please don’t leave.”

Raph’s face gentled.

“Can we just,” Leo couldn’t look at him, he couldn’t. “Can we just stay here for a minute? Maybe talking can be later.” When it wasn’t him and other him preferably, so he could say things the right way.

“Okay.”

Raph settled back on the couch, slowly lifting his arm free and telegraphing the space underneath for Leo to decide. As if he needed to decide, the best place in the world was in Raph’s hugs. He’d always fit perfect there.

Raph smoothed his hand across Leo’s head with his thumb, back and forth.The warmth pulled him all the way back into himself, almost with a shudder. Leo squeezed his eyes shut and buried his snout further into Raph’s side. It made him brave. “I’m not scared of you. I’ve never been scared of you, big guy.”

Raph’s thumb paused. Smoothed back again. “It’s okay if you are. That was… pretty scary.”

Leo shook his head stubbornly. “Wasn’t you. I know my big brother anywhere. That wasn’t him.”

He pretended kindly not to hear the hitch in Raph’s breathing. The warm chuckle after is like lottery gold.

“Thanks, bug. I know you, too.”

#rottmnt #my fic #rottmnt leo #rottmnt raph #rise of the tmnt #writing prompt #goodlucktai #there's probably more that should go at the end but i hope the mental image of Don trudging into his room with burrito'd mikey helps

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thewizardingpost · 2 days ago

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A Promise to Spend Forever Together, Not Apart

poly!marauders x fem!reader

note ⌇ lately, James, Sirius, and Remus have been acting distant and busier than usual, making you fear they might be planning to break up with you, only to later discover they’ve been working hard to save up for a ring, wanting instead to spend forever with you.

warnings ⌇word count 2.8k, after-hogwarts, established relationship, misunderstanding, hurt/comfort, marriage, reader experiences insecure thoughts, slight arguing, happy ending, love confessions

It made sense that they were all so busy—James with his new responsibilities as an Auror, Sirius throwing himself into his work as a private investigator, and Remus taking on the weight of teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts. What didn’t make sense was the way things felt different between you, the quiet space that had started to settle between moments that used to feel so effortless.

The transition into such life was slow, like a broken clock–a few broken ticks forward just to take a few back. You’d think it’d move forward then just that next week something else would change. James still smiled at you, but it was the kind of smile that came after hours of paperwork, his eyes carrying the weight of exhaustion as he kissed you goodnight, only to disappear back into his work.

Sirius, though still warm and affectionate, had started making more excuses, talking about "one more case" or "just a few more leads," his voice laced with fatigue, not quite as carefree as it used to be. Remus had become more withdrawn at times, his thoughts clearly pulled elsewhere, his usual calm replaced by the tension of balancing too many responsibilities.

They were still lovely, still affectionate, but the spark of energy that had once flowed so easily between you all seemed dimmer now, and the distance was subtle but unmistakable. It really did just seem like everyone was just slumped with work at first.

You convinced yourself it was nothing more than the weight of their new lives. Then there were the whispers—hushed conversations that trailed off the moment you entered the room, the sudden silence that would fall when you walked by. You’d caught James leaning over to Sirius once, his voice low, words you couldn’t quite make out but sounded far too private for your liking. Remus, too, seemed to slip into quick murmurs with the others, always before a sudden, sharp change in topic when you appeared, as if they hadn’t meant for you to hear it.

At first, you told yourself it was nothing. Maybe they were just tired, maybe stressed, but the more you thought about it, the more you couldn’t help but feel like they were holding something back from you. It was like they wanted to be together without you, to discuss things you weren’t supposed to know.

Your heart twists at the thought, from where you lie beside them in bed, the rest of them asleep, their bodies warm against yours. You’re being ridiculous. Overthinking has always been your worst enemy; there’s really no reason to lose sleep over this. Despite knowing that, your eyes won’t shut—your mind infected by these thoughts that only continue to grow more dangerous. You listen to their even breathing, the soft rustle of sheets, the clicking of the clock on your nightstand. Eventually, your body has had enough—and sleep pulls you under, though it doesn’t feel quite as peaceful as it should.

It wears on you—the lack of sleep, the constant whirl of anxious thoughts that refuse to quiet. You don’t communicate any of this with them, afraid to voice the doubt that’s slowly eating away at you. What if they really have grown tired of you? What if all this distance, this quiet space between moments that used to be so easy, is their way of pulling away? Who wouldn’t be? Everyone grows weary eventually, especially when the season shifts, when the warmth of spring and summer fades into the chill of fall and winter.

It feels like you’ve reached the point where the honeymoon period is over, and the cracks are starting to show. Maybe they don’t need you anymore—not like they did before when you all were just teens at Hogwarts. Maybe they’ve just grown comfortable in their own lives, with their own ambitions, and you’re the one left wondering where you fit in.

You don’t say anything, because what if you’re wrong? What if your fears are just that—fears—and nothing more? So, you keep quiet, hoping the weight will somehow lift on its own, even as it grows heavier each day.

Just as they’ve begun to pull away from you, you’ve subconsciously begun to do the same. Maybe it’s a defense mechanism—guarding yourself against the thought that they’ve grown tired of you, that they’re silently slipping away. Perhaps it’s the quiet, nagging fear that you’re no longer needed, no longer wanted, that you’re just a chapter in their lives they’re ready to close. You’re not entirely sure which, but it’s probably a mix of both. Regardless, something shifts in you, and you begin to separate yourself, even if just a little.

You start feeling uncomfortable in spaces you once found so familiar, like the small moments you used to share now feel like you’re standing in someone else’s life. You wonder if they notice, though you can’t bring yourself to ask. The distance between you, though subtle, seems to grow with each passing day, and the warmth you once felt when they were near starts to feel off. You don’t know if it’s them or if it’s you—or maybe it’s both—but the easy closeness you once had with them now feels like something you have to work at.

For instance, earlier that week, when James had caught you staring blankly at the fireplace instead of joining the conversation, he’d leaned in, gently asking, “Hey, love, you alright?” His voice was soft, concerned, but there was an edge to it, something almost hesitant, like he wasn’t sure whether to push or pull away. You’d shrugged, offering a quick smile that didn’t reach your eyes. “Yeah, just tired.”

Sirius had shot you a look from across the room, brow furrowed. “You sure, beautiful? You’ve been… off lately.” He had said it in the usual teasing tone, but there was no mischief in it this time—just a quiet concern that you couldn’t quite brush off. “I’m fine, Sirius,” you’d replied, forcing the words out, even though you felt anything but.

Even Remus, normally so calm, had paused mid-sentence during a conversation, his eyes lingering on you before he shifted the topic to something lighter, something easy. You had noticed it, the way he’d been treading carefully around you all week, and it stung more than you expected. It wasn’t that you wanted them to push, but the distance between you had become so thick, you were starting to wonder if you could ever cut through it. They were so caught up in their own concerns, their own exhaustion, their own busy lives, that they didn’t even seem to realize how their behavior was affecting you.

It’s a Thursday, some random day in March, when they seem to be waiting for you to arrive home from work, all of them silently preparing to talk. You can feel the tension in the air, the way the space between you all has shifted—lighter, almost expectant. You can tell they’ve been holding onto something, and suddenly, you realize it’s not just you who’s been carrying a weight. As you walk through the door, their eyes meet yours.

It’s a Thursday, some random day in March, when you walk through the door, and immediately, the tension is thick. Sirius stands up abruptly, his eyes narrowing, voice laced with frustration. “What, you gonna run off to your room again?” he says, his words sharp and cutting. “Avoid us some more? Pretend everything’s fine?” His tone is tight, like he's trying to keep it together, but it’s clear the hurt is creeping through. “You’ve been shutting us out for days, and now you're just gonna walk in here like nothing’s wrong?”

“Padfoot, stop,” Remus interjects, his voice calm but firm as he steps between you and Sirius. He looks at his friend with a mixture of warning and understanding, trying to reign in the tension that’s spiraling out of control.

Sirius exhales in frustration, his gaze flickering between you and James, who has been quietly watching. James finally steps forward, his expression serious but soft. “Love, can we talk?” he asks quietly, the weight of his words settling in. There’s a quiet heaviness to his tone, and for a split second, your heart sinks, your mind racing with the worst possibilities. You freeze, wondering if they’re finally going to tell you what you’ve been dreading.It was as if the ground beneath you had vanished, leaving you plummeting into a void where everything you thought you knew was slipping away. The tears came fast, blurring your vision, but something else started building within you—anxiety, frustration, a burning anger that mixed with the hurt, making everything sharper. You couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“God, why does this always happen?” you snapped, voice shaking, a bitter laugh escaping as you wiped at your eyes. “Everyone leaves eventually, right? What else did I expect? Maybe I should’ve seen it coming.” You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, but it was no use. The words spilled out before you could stop them. “You’ve all been distant, quiet, barely even looking at me. What the hell is going on? Just say it already, whatever it is. I can’t—” You broke off, your voice faltering, before the anger took over again. “I can’t stand this anymore. It’s so obvious.”

Sirius stiffened, a flash of irritation crossing his face. “What the hell are you talking about?” His voice was sharp, eyebrows knitted in confusion. “You’re acting like we’ve been ignoring you on purpose. What do you want from us?”

Your hands shook at your sides, the anger now bubbling over the sadness. “I want you to stop acting like I’m not here,” you shot back, each word sharp and frantic, as if they were the only way you could hold yourself together. “I want you to stop pretending like I’m not a burden.”

Sirius’s face twisted, frustration taking over. “You think you’re a burden? You think we don’t care? Are you serious?”

You snapped at him, your voice rising even though your heart was breaking. “I don’t know what else to think! You all used to look at me like I mattered, but now… now it’s like I’m invisible to you! Like I’m just some fucking inconvenience.”

Remus, who had been standing quietly off to the side, finally stepped forward, his voice laced with confusion and concern. “What the hell are you talking about?” He looked between you and Sirius, trying to make sense of the mess unfolding. “We’ve been stressed, yes, but this… this isn’t what’s going on. We’re not pushing you away.”

Your breath hitched, your throat tightening as you tried to find the words. “No,” you choked out, trembling with the weight of it all. “You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you? Just say it. I can’t take this silence anymore. I can’t stand pretending that everything’s fine when it isn’t. Just say it and I’ll leave. I’ll just go.”

The words hung heavy in the air, suffocating the space between you all. There was a beat of stunned silence before everything shifted.

Sirius’s anger evaporated instantly, replaced with something that looked almost like regret. His face softened, and he reached out toward you, but paused, as though unsure how to approach. “We’re not breaking up with you,” he said, his voice far softer now, almost apologetic. “We’re not… God, we’re just trying to figure things out. We’ve been distracted with other stuff, but none of it’s about you.”

Remus’s gaze softened too, though there was still a trace of concern in his eyes. “We’re not trying to push you away, love. You have to know that.” He moved closer, a hand reaching out to gently touch your arm. “We’re not leaving you.”

James, who had been quiet until now, finally stepped up, his voice low but steady. “We’re not going anywhere,” he repeated, his eyes full of sincerity. “We’re just… we’re struggling too, and we don’t always know how to ask for what we need. But we need you. All of us.”

Your breath caught as you took in their words, the overwhelming fear and anger beginning to fade, replaced by a dull ache in your chest. You were trembling now, your tears mixing with relief, but the weight was still there.

James reached out, his movements slow and deliberate, cupping your face gently in his hand. His touch grounded you, his thumb brushing over your cheek, wiping away the tears that still fell. His eyes were soft, filled with a kind of sadness that made your heart ache. “You’re everything to us,” he said quietly, his voice steady but full of sincerity. “Nothing’s going to change that. We love you. Don’t ever think otherwise.”

You blinked at him, the words swirling in your mind but not quite sinking in. Slowly, you lifted your gaze, your eyes glossy, filled with so many unspoken fears. “Then why have you all been so distant?” Your voice was small, barely a whisper, but there was a rawness in it that you couldn’t hide. “Why have you been acting like... like I don’t matter anymore?”

James’s expression faltered for a moment, his lips pressing into a thin line. He wiped another tear from your cheek, his touch so tender it made your chest tighten. "Love," he began, the word gentle but heavy. "We’ve never meant for you to feel that way. We’ve just been... trying to give you something. We didn’t want to do anything that might make you feel neglected, I swear.”

At this, Remus, who had been standing quietly, stepped forward, his usual calm replaced with a soft urgency. His brow furrowed slightly, concern etched on his face. “We’ve all been working—well, all of us—trying to save up for something. We’ve been distant because we didn’t want to distract you with all the planning we’ve been doing behind the scenes.”

You frowned, trying to make sense of his words. “Planning?” Your voice cracked. “What... what are you talking about?”

Sirius, who had been standing a few steps behind the others, took a deep breath before he finally spoke. His voice, though usually teasing and full of confidence, was softer now, almost apologetic. He stepped forward, his gaze locking with yours. “We’re planning to marry you, love. We’ve been saving up for a ring.” His eyes softened as he met your gaze, his hand finding yours, holding it gently in his. “We don’t want you to think that we’ve stopped loving you, or that we’ve been pushing you away. We just wanted to do this right for you, for us.”

The words hit you like a wave, and for a moment, you just stood there, blinking at them in disbelief. A ring? Marriage? The confusion, the fear that had consumed you for weeks... suddenly, it all felt so small, so misplaced.

“Marry me?” you whispered, your voice trembling, your heart both racing and slowing in the same beat. You couldn’t make sense of it. How could you have thought they were pulling away?

Sirius, seeing your confusion, gave your hand a gentle squeeze. “We’ve been trying to save, love. Trying to figure out how to make it perfect, and how to make sure we’re doing it right. We didn’t want to ruin the surprise, didn’t want to make you feel like we were slipping away.”

You wiped at your face again, still shaking, the realization sinking in, piece by piece. “I thought…” you trailed off, your voice small, your chest still tight. “I thought you were going to leave me.”

James’s face softened, his eyes full of regret as he pulled you into his arms. “No, love, we’re never leaving you,” he murmured, holding you close. “We were just trying to make this moment everything you deserve. We’ve always been here. Always will be.”

Remus stepped in, his voice a comforting whisper against your ear. “We love you, and we want this to last forever. We want to show you that every day for the rest of our lives.”

"I love you all too, so incredibly much."

The fear and doubt, all those months of wondering if they'd drift away from you, melted away in an instant. They weren't leaving you—they were offering something far greater. A promise to spend forever together, not apart. As you lean into them, feeling their warmth, their love, your body finally relaxed, and the future, the one you had feared might be slipping away, is full of certainty.

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rosewhispers · 2 days ago

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𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐈 𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐈𝐌: love&deepspace edition !!

feat. xavier, zayne, rafayel, sylus

note: little to no explanation for individual songs + plus this is my music taste. there will be reoccurring artists. this is also my way of sharing some bangers. enjoy, my loves. mwah.

XAVIER

xavi is someone that would put down his life for you. he is yours, in every sense of the word. he’s also the type to be your best friend, even while dating. he has a real comfy vibe that puts anyone at ease. sending some real fun, cozy friends-to-lovers moments here.

track 001. it’s yours by destin conrad

track 002. coming home by beabadoobee

track 003. dancing in the rain by rad museum

track 004. shinunoga e-wa by fujii kaze (holy throwback?)

track 005. northern lights by kennie

track 006. ceilings by lizzy mcalpine

ZAYNE

tender love and careful affection. he’s been through enough. i suppose this goes for both dawnbreaker and doctor zayne. destined to fall for you in every possible lifetime just to forget you. to dawnbreaker, all he sees is a man with his face, his voice, his heart, living a life he should’ve gotten. maybe he’ll get it right this time.

track 001. ivy by frank ocean

track 002. love you anyway by the marías

track 003. touch by cigarettes after sex

track 004. promise by laufey

track 005. try again by jaehyun feat. d.ear

track 006. vanilla baby by billy marten

RAFAYEL

is there bias here with the songs i chose… yes. rafayel’s love is something that can only be described as playfulness and mischief with a hint of intimacy. he’s the type to love every single damn thing about you. every breath you take, every memory you make, he’s there cherishing it.

track 001. sexy to someone by clairo

track 002. juna by clairo

track 003. touch tank by quinnie

track 004. red with love by pom pom squad

track 005. homesick by wave to earth

track 006. risk by lace

SYLUS

definitely not trying to stereotype his character with the “sexy” songs, but i have to… his love is deeply addictive and sensual, with undertones of longing. longing for a simpler life, something domestic, maybe. neither of things seem to be in the cards for the both of you. you tread a thin line of vulnerability and commitment with him. pray this doesn’t end with someone getting hurt.

track 001. unconditional by jaehyun

track 002. slow down by chase atlantic

track 003. railway by bangchan skz

track 004. been like this by doja cat

track 005. california by beabadoobee

track 006. take a bite by beabadoobee

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genericpuff · 22 hours ago

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Hello! I'm someone with autism (and I'm suspecting ADHD too) who's planning multiple projects. Do you have any advice when it comes to overthinking a lot about decisions on a project? Be it the first step, planning, questioning if you're moving too fast, etc?

ouuuu I think the biggest thing I struggle with personally is just like... the overbearing weight of expectation that isn't necessarily even there. Like, expectation to do everything right all the time, to never make mistakes, to never fall through on promises, to never break any 'rules' (real or imaginary) and most of all, for everything I do to matter in some big, recognizable, memorable way - but the steps to that goal aren't defined, I just know what the goal looks like, with no clear path as to how to get there, and so it often results in me aiming at my own "best guess" and then beating myself up for not hitting the target LOL which is completely unfair to myself and my own work!

What I try to regularly remind myself of is that I am one person, who is only capable of what one person should reasonably be able to accomplish on their own, no matter how much my auDHD tries to convince me otherwise that I "should" be able to handle more than what's reasonable. And in that same sense, there isn't any more pressure on me to put out something perfect than there would be on any other person. I am not Atlas carrying the fate of the greatest work known to mankind on my shoulders - I'm a chronically online dweeb making stuff that's interesting to themselves and sharing it in the hopes that even just one other person will like it too. That isn't a diss on myself, that's me embracing what I am so that I can keep doing it better and more confidently each time.

Though I don't know if this exactly applies to you, I'm gonna say it just in case: I know when it comes to balancing multiple projects, it can be hard not to go "oh well I SHOULD be working on xyz!" but at the end of the day, you're not a failure for preferring to work on something else or needing space from projects that used to thrill you and have now become monotonous. In fact, it turns out that's how it is for most neurotypical people too! I know they make a lot of shit look easy, but even they have shit they loathe doing - they just don't have to deal with the unique hurdles of being neurodivergent.

Always remember to set boundaries with yourself and your work. Remember, just because you're really excited to work on something, doesn't mean you have to work on it all the time. I've learned to appreciate those moments when I'm stuck doing my day job and I'm excited to get home and work on my passion project, because it means I can actually look forward to it and it'll feel all the more rewarding when I finally get to do it! Pushing yourself too hard to fulfill that excitement all at once right off the bat often just means you're gonna spend it all way too quick, and that won't feel good because then you'll be left wondering where all the love went.

Set little goals for yourself. Stuff that's manageable and achievable within a reasonable amount of time. I know we tend to dive into thinking huge right off the bat, because that's what's exciting to us, but when it comes time to actually do the work, those smaller goals can keep us moving forward far better than the big, far off, ambiguous goal hiding somewhere off in the horizon. While it's good to plan ahead, not setting smaller milestones for yourself can burn you out faster because it's really hard to work towards an "end goal" that might be too far away for us to even conceptualize. The small goals allow us to reward ourselves along the way, and they do ultimately still build up to the bigger picture in the end, even if it feels like we're "not doing much". It can be anything like "get to this chapter that I can finish in the next few weeks" or "fully write out this scene that's been living in my head rent-free".

As for the overthinking... yeah, I wish I had some magic solution to that, but it's really just about learning what you enjoy doing vs. what you don't, so that you can have confidence in knowing when your creative decisions suit the project you're working on. This is something that gets better with practice and experience, but I feel like it's better tackled by reminding yourself that any project, no matter the outcome of how popular it gets or whether or not it "takes off", is an opportunity to learn and grow. Treat every project as a learning experience and you'll hopefully find the process itself more enjoyable, which will subsequently buff up your confidence. It's all a process of honing in on what works for you, what you excel at, and what you enjoy doing; while learning what doesn't work for you, what you could improve at, and what you don't enjoy doing.

Finding a writing buddy or someone who's willing to read your work and give you feedback is super helpful for this, too, because sometimes it takes another perspective to help us navigate the fog of indecision and find a solution.

And again, remember - you are one person, and you are under no obligation for any of your projects to be some perfect, infallible holy grail. You will write stuff that you will inevitably look back on with disgust and cringe. You will create projects that you will eventually outgrow or move on from. That does not invalidate the time and effort you put into those projects - it's proof of experience and growth. Embrace the growing pains, find peace in the process in whatever way you can.

It's not a question of right or wrong - it's asking yourself what feels true to you and your voice, and finding out along the way.

#writing advice #ask me anything #anon ask me anything #anon ama #ama #and that is my bag of cents!#idk how helpful this is but i hope a little bit of it resonates with you!#it's definitely hard esp when it comes to the imposter syndrome and self-doubt #but the biggest thing is just being patient and kind with yourself #you're allowed to write stuff that isn't perfect! most stuff isn't perfect! even the stuff that we really enjoy!#and you're allowed to take your time and create things at your own pace #there's no divine punishment waiting to strike you down if you don't accomplish everything right this second #just take it one day at a time and find your joy in the process of creating your art <3

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fuck-you-upmusicbracket · 2 days ago

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Against the Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)

And I swear! I will die trying!/I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress; I promise I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible, I swear!/I'm so fucking sorry! I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all, But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all!

Less rare than scarce, less diamond then rough/Unlikely to be more than just the coal you failed to crush

I'm catatonic in your arms, crying, "How did I cause so much harm?"/I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor/Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours

The vertex of my redemption arc/I’m searching on that virgin heart

"The raw emotion! And I strongly relate to desperately wanting to improve for someone you love. I belt out this song when I feel really hopeless"

"my one OC. also me. also it's just a really good song. one of will's best imo. screaminbg"

"Literally hits almost all of my self-esteem issues. Feeling like people only care about you for your body? Check. Not understanding why anyone would want you? Check. Thinking that all you do is hurt people? Check. I don't cry very often but this song DEFINITELY made me teary"

"one of those if u aren’t paying attention to the lyrics ur like this is nice but once u hear them its an OW holy OW and guilt and I’m sorry feelings"

"Just. Loving someone but not feeling like you’re good enough and trying to improve."

"Not only does this song have lyrics that are deeply relatable to me, but this song also feels very deeply personal to the artist and I feel that anyone who listens to it for the first time has that same feeling of getting punched in the gut. Just the lyrics and the melody and Will Wood’s vocals make this song an absolute masterpiece and I cry every time I hear it."

"One reason I'm attached to this song is because my friend sent it to me and said "I'm kin assigning you this song" and ruined my life (/j) It messed me up because I've always had a hard time in my life figuring myself out and dealing with my emotions, and for what feels like the first time, this song has been able to near perfectly describe how I feel about myself and my impact on other people, and it always just meant so much to me that my friend who sent it to me knows me better than I know myself and shared the song with me and I love them dearly."

Fast Car (Tracy Chapman)

You got a fast car, I want a ticket to anywhere/Maybe we make a deal, maybe together we can get somewhere/Any place is better, starting from zero got nothing to lose/Maybe we'll make something, me myself I got nothing to prove

So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car/Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk/City lights lay out before us/ And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder/And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged

You got a fast car/Is it fast enough so we can fly away?/We gotta make a decision/Leave tonight or live and die this way

"I know it's an obvious one but YOU try playing it without crying I dare you"

"I cant explain the yearning but this makes me howl"

"OH GOD the longing!! The yearning in the recurring central image of the narrator and her lover on the highway, feeling this sense of limitless possibility and incredible hope!!! And then the verses take us with brutal efficiency through the collapse of their marriage, the way that the cycle of poverty stomps down on their hopes, and how with nothing left, the narrator does what her mom did and leaves!! Leaving the kids to experience the same thing she did growing up!! But it’s all punctuated and bookended by these callbacks to that central iconic memory of hope!!!!! But by the end we realize that the last line “leave tonight or live and die this way” offers only the illusion of a choice: when the narrator first runs away and later when she leaves her husband and kids, she’s still fulfilling her role in this cyclical generational story. God!!"

Against the Kitchen Floor submitted by @pixopolis + others

Fast Car submitted by @smallboyonherbike + @uchihasasukeofficial + @all-our-exploring

#fuck you up bracket #tournament #polls #will wood #tracy chapman #fuub quarter finals

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captainjonnitkessler · 10 hours ago

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I was listening to the "Wellness to QAnon Pipeline" episode of Maintenance Phase, which is as it sounds an episode about how people start off well-meaning and curious and end up drawn into QAnon conspiracy theories, and honestly it mimics a lot of behavior I've seen from the left recently.

Like at its core, QAnon believes that there is an elite class of people who hold all the power and can get away with any number of horrible crimes, because the rest of us are all powerless peasants who are being kept in the dark. The only real difference between them and leftist conspiracy theorists is that QAnon calls the elite class (((globalists))) and leftists call them billionaires, but once you start thinking like that it is SUCH a slippery slope from one to the other. It's incredibly dangerous.

It's stuff like confidently stating that Boeing got away with assassinating whistleblowers even though there's zero evidence and it doesn't even make sense that they would do that. Or insisting that Democrats are intentionally losing elections in order to play up the threat of Republicans in order to get elected, which again makes zero sense. It's insisting that the Democratic party fails on purpose because they are one discrete entity that moves in perfect unison and not, like, thousands and thousands of people with different ideas and goals who sometimes work at cross purposes. It's insisting that the reason American healthcare is bad is because the CEOs are all just evil megalomaniacs hitting the "deny care" button repeatedly, instead of understanding that our healthcare is incredibly complicated with a million interlocked parts that all feed into one another. It's insisting that a real progressive will never be elected because "they" won't let that happen, when there is zero evidence that those progressive candidates ever had any real support within the electorate.

It is - basically - the idea that bad things happen because Bad People are doing Bad Things, and the refusal to admit that sometimes bad things happen because of an incredibly complex web of causes and effects that can't be predicted or controlled.

And it's not like there's not any truth to it. Obviously healthcare and pharmaceutical companies put profits over human lives. Obviously billionaires and corporations interfere in politics. But ultimately most things are just really complicated, and anyone who's trying to sell you a fantasy that it's just the Bad People who are causing problems and all we need to do is get rid of them and let The Will of the People take over is either lying to you or is dangerously misinformed. Use your critical thinking, be a skeptic, and don't be blinded by people promising to sell you simple solutions that feel good.

#sorry for getting on my soapbox #it's late and i can't sleep because i can't FUCKING breathe. so have an annoyed and sanctimonious rant #Stop Spreading Conspiracy Theories. stop it! learn skepticism!#skepticism umbrella #us politics

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fe-fictions · 2 days ago

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I am once again asking for a fredrobin fic where Robin drinks poisoned wine meant for Chrom because she couldn't tell anyone in time, and it was the only way she could think of to save him. (She'll be alright but the Angst for our dear freddybear)

(So my plan to write 100 Fredrobin stories by the end of 2024 was immediately ruined when I started this prompt...so here's a 20+ page angst-filled dramafest to kick off 2025 instead! U V U )

A banquet was set to be held with Plegian envoys in the name of goodwill. Aversa, who had found herself the unwitting ruler of the desert kingdom, would be reuniting with you since the defeat of Valm and the subsequent death of Grima.

While you and the fellow Shepherds who had fought arm in arm with her were looking forward to a feast for the ages, others felt quite the opposite. Frederick himself had his concerns; although he trusted Aversa, it was the nobility none of you had met that had him on edge.

Well, him and every other Ylissean member of the court who would also be in attendance. You had your own concerns, considering tensions were still bubbling despite the past few years’ attempts at forming a peaceful bond between nations.

But in spite of the wariness, you still felt excitement in your heart as you readied yourself for the grand meal, set to take place only an hour after noon.

“Darling, have you seen the necklace you gifted me in Ferox during the first war?” You called to him from the bedroom, while fastening a handsome pair of earrings.

You received a hum in response, his voice carrying from the washroom. “Are you certain that’s the necklace you want to wear today? I’m not sure Plegia would appreciate you wearing jewelry forged during the war we defeated them in.”

“Nonsense. They won’t know that. I wanted to wear it because Aversa always liked it. She said it was rather attractive; and was impressed that you had bought something so ‘sickeningly perfect’. I think she’d appreciate the callback.”

“Hmm…now I am even less certain it is a good idea.” He appeared from the washroom, holding a familiar, delicate chain in his hands. “That doesn’t sound like a compliment.”

“It was, I promise.” You reassured him while you pulled your hair to the side, giving him access to the nape of your neck. “Her sense of humor is still developing.”

“I understand.” He stood behind you, the warmth of his fingers slipping the chain around your neck sending shivers down your spine. Frederick smiled to himself as he fastened the clasp. You were so cute, without even trying.

“Thank you, dear.” You tilted your head back to look at him, pulling your gaze from the mirror to your husband. “Are you ready to go?”

“As ready as I ever will be, I suppose.” Frederick sighed, offering his hand. You rose to lean against him, your chests touching as you scrutinized his gaze.

“It’s going to be fine.” A scoff met your reassurance, but the two of you continued on your way, exiting your quarters in the castle to greet your guests.

The Plegian embassy that arrived at the front gates was handsome, and brought many gifts. Aversa, leading the charge, looked as devastatingly beautiful as always and wore a knowing grin that proved it.

Yet her eyes sparkled at the sight of you, all but ignoring the king, queen and high princess to address you directly (she at least had the good sense to greet them formally before she lasered in on you).

“Well, well…if it isn’t the Chief Tactician, back from the dead…” She bowed deeply, “Why, you haven’t aged a day!”

“It’s good to see you too, Aversa.” You beamed at her, slipping away from Frederick’s side to offer her a proper embrace. Aversa welcomed you with open arms.

“You have no idea how boring it was without you…I know we reunited properly months ago, but it feels like I've barely seen you since. You may as well have just come back yesterday!”

“It’s terrible, isn’t it? I’ll make more of an effort to come visit.”

“I’ll hold you to that. Otherwise I’ll simply kidnap you and whisk you back to Plegia!!”

“Do refrain from making such statements, milady. As the monarch of another kingdom that may be perceived as a threat by those around us.” Frederick spoke up quickly, as if the tension rolling off his shoulders wasn’t already blatantly obvious.

He glanced back at Chrom, Sumia and Lissa, who simply chuckled when Aversa rolled her eyes.

“Oh, Frederick. You are my brother-in-law; surely you should understand the difference between a joke and a threat.” She sighed, relinquishing you back to your husband.

You patted his arm, “She’s right, dear; but thank you for always looking out for the kingdom. A true knight.”

“Indeed.” Chrom agreed, waving everyone in, “Now, shall we go and celebrate? This is quite the occasion! The first effort of goodwill between Ylisse and Plegia in forty years.”

“I hope it is magnificent, Lord Chrom.” Aversa’s eyes narrowed, “We brought some of our finest wine for this event, and we have high expectations for Ylissean cuisine.”

“You won’t be disappointed!” Lissa said, as bouncy and bubbly as ever. The troupe of nobles and royalty were quite a sight, drawing eyes from all over the castle. You squeezed Frederick’s arm; maybe this was a bigger deal than you had first thought.

And you already thought this was a huge deal.

Frederick covered your hand with his, a small comfort as the lot of you reached the banquet hall. It was a majestic, almost glorious, display.

Lights of all colors danced across the room from the immense stained glass windows. The spread was vast and diverse in palate, ornate chalices at each seat to be filled and countless dishes waiting to be devoured.

The Plegian envoy murmured to themselves in surprise. You bit back a giggle when Chrom’s chest puffed up ever so slightly; it appeared even he was proud of the extravagant luncheon.

“My, my…it appears I underestimated you, Lord Chrom. I doubt there’s a word strong enough to describe this display.”

“As much as I’d love to take the credit, that honor goes to the queen and your sister; they were the ones who put together the menu.”

“We did extensive research into each member of the envoy’s favorite dishes from Plegia. Everything from festival foods to home-cooking were taken into consideration!” Sumia said, practically bubbling over with excitement.

It was only the beginning of what was surely a joyous occasion. Everyone headed for their seats, with your place between Chrom and Aversa across from your husband (requested specifically by your sister; though Frederick was reluctant to agree despite “getting you all to himself”, according to her).

Just as your husband pulled your chair out, you hesitated; the table was clearly missing one of your most anticipated dishes.

“Oh, dear- it appears we’ve left something after all.” You huffed, looking back at your sister. “There’s something special I wanted to add specifically to your plate, Aversa. I know Gaius finished it a little while ago…and I wanted to give it directly to you.”

“And she wonders why she is my most favored sibling.” Aversa’s lips curled into a mischievous grin. “I can buy you a few moments if you want to scurry off and get it; you have that glint in your eye that says it must be here.”

“Of course- Frederick dear, could you please make sure everyone else is seated and ready? I’ll only be a few moments.”

“Whatever you need. But do hurry; they will be pouring the drinks and preparing to toast soon.”

“I’ll be back in no time.” You promised, squeezing his hand before you hurried from the banquet hall.

The excited chattering that filled the room faded away as you hurried down the hallways into the kitchens. There were several butlers and maidservants that passed you by, their hands all filled with even more dishes that would soon be added to the spread.

The clamoring of joyous anticipation had filled the whole of the castle, it seemed. It made your heart swell with hopefulness.

You giggled to yourself, hustling into the kitchen and spotting the thief-turned-chef putting the finishing touches on one of the (several) desserts being prepared for the end of the meal.

“Well, well! What brings you here, Bubbles? You’re cuttin’ it awful close.”

“Sorry to disturb you, I know everyone’s trying to focus.” You said, maneuvering around the equally bustling sous chefs and kitchen staff. They were all performing their duties spectacularly, and you didn’t wish to interrupt their focus amidst the chaos of cooking.

“Then you’d best hurry up and talk- we’re runnin’ on a pretty strict schedule!” Gaius replied coolly, his relaxed expression suggesting this wasn’t as stressful a situation to him than it was the flittering staff surrounding you.

“The dish I asked you to make for Aversa– it wasn’t at her seat like we planned. Do you know where it is?”

“Right…” Gaius leaned back from the decadent cake he was frosting (and maybe stealing a lick of icing for himself), “That meager little thing. Y’know, it’s around here, I remember making it a little while ago. Couldn’t have wandered far…”

He gestured towards the oven, where a rack of breads and baked goods ready to go to the banquet were waiting. Yours shouldn’t be too hard to find, surely.

“I still don’t know why that’s the one you wanted to go for; I mean, it’s just rastons*. Not exactly fit for a royal feast.”

“That’s precisely why I wanted them just for the two of us.” You replied as you rifled around the shelves, searching among the warm breads for the little butter-filled buns you had requested.

“I mean, I guess. But of all the food you’re gonna eat, that’s what you wanna go for?”

“Just shut up and help me look.” You rolled your eyes at him, the pair of you sifting through the baked goods until you found exactly what you were looking for.

A humble set of four bread rolls, each one just as handsome and humble as you hoped. You smiled to yourself, hurriedly taking a small bowl and settling them inside.

“Don’t worry; we’ll have plenty of room for the rest of the food you cooked. We just have to start with these!”

“Whatever, Bubbles. Just get back up there before everyone starts wondering where the star of the show is.”

“That’s Aversa and Chrom.” You corrected him, but did concede that you needed to get a move on. You thanked him on your way out, having spent only a few moments out of the way.

It was halfway back that you saw something strange. A servant that was following the lines to the hall suddenly stepped off to the side. Your brow furrowed, curiosity piqued.

You slowed down when you caught the servant looking behind them; that behavior was more than shady. The rastons were left on a windowsill, your shoes slipped off before you snuck after them.

After turning a couple corners, you followed them into a corridor that was tucked away from wandering eyes.

Swiftly you ducked behind some old royal’s bust, watching as they pulled something from their glove.

No, not something; a vial.

A small, green vial.

Your brow furrowed, unable to make out what they were doing with it. You heard the soft pop of the cork, the sound of liquid pouring into liquid just barely reaching your ears from the distance you watched from.

But you couldn’t see what it was being poured into. There were plenty of drinks and sauces that were to be served over the next couple of hours. Whatever it was for, it couldn’t be good.

“Has anyone seen Toumant?”

You swiveled back, finding two butlers heading down the corridor. It seemed the voices carried far enough that the other servant heard it, too.

“I didn’t see him in line- did he get lost again?”

“Wouldn’t put it past him…he’s still in training.” You darted away, careful to avoid the pair taking a sharp turn down the adjacent hall. Your thoughts blurred together, adrenaline spiking your heart rate.

What did “Toumant” do? A servant-in-training; a new hire?

The butlers had reached the man and told him to get back to the banquet procession.

There was no time to waste. Shoes abandoned, you rushed to the grand hall, a cacophony of raucous noise all but shocking you out of your thoughts, drawing you back into the reality of the situation.

Everyone was seated, eagerly awaiting the end of the servants’ bringing in the last of the food for the preliminary courses.

Every single person at that table was important. And if anything happened to one of them…you could kiss unity goodbye. Not even Aversa would be able to stop the chaos that would ensue if the wrong person was hurt.

“Robin, there you are! Come take your seat, dearie. We’re just about to pour the drinks.” Aversa called to you, her smile sweet.

You nodded, but your eyes were elsewhere; darting over each of the dishes laid out, ready to be eaten. None of them seemed to be tampered with. Everything looked great. Normal.

You swept over the surrounding servants; there were dozens of people milling about the table, still setting things out and bringing in more and more-

Toumant.

The last of the servants filtered in just as you took your seat, watching the pair of butlers usher in the third and final individual before they shut the grand doors.

“Looks like we’re ready to begin!” Chrom announced, rising from his seat. At his word a number of servants stepped forward, decanters filled with dark, rich Plegian wine in their hands. One of the butlers who had arrived with Toumant had a decanter as well.

You watched as everyone went around the table, the goblets filled with alcohol. Aversa rose to her feet as well, holding out her own cup that was obediently filled as she spoke.

“In the name of peace and unity among our people…”

You weren’t sure who to watch – Toumant was shifting between bodies, seemingly trying to retreat back towards the walls as more wine was brought forward to fill those waiting.

“...It is my great honor to open this glorious celebration with Plegia’s greatest pride; our precious cinsault grape wine. We all hope that you find it as delightful as the meal which follows. This is truly a historic time for both our nations…”

The wine. Toumant’s gaze seemed to shift at its mention, lingering on Chrom for half a second. You followed his eyes; Chrom’s drink was being poured.

You looked to Frederick, who seemed to be wholly invested in the speech. You tried to signal to him discreetly, but your ever-patriotic beloved was utterly enthralled with Aversa and Chrom’s words.

“...And hope that this will be the beginning of a prosperous and beautiful new relationship that will stand for centuries to come.”

You waited until the butler stepped away, eying the goblet. Your own had just been filled, a different servant with a different decanter. A different…color…?

Just slightly.

Just slightly lighter than yours. Whatever was in that decanter was different from Chrom’s. Your heart pounded in your ears. The rest of the speech lasted only seconds longer, drowned out by the panic building in your head.

Aversa held her goblet high, taking the first sip as a symbolic gesture. She and Chrom took their seats, as the others raised their cups.

It was fortuitous that Chrom’s goblet was within reach. You slipped it away from his place, swapping it with your own. He didn’t seem to notice the movement; no one did. They were far too enthralled with the incoming feast.

You took his goblet into your hands, fingers shaking. Frederick looked to you with his warmest smile, unaware something was wrong. Not yet.

“Frederick-” You mouthed to him, the cups raised for the toast. He locked eyes with you, brow furrowing just slightly. “Someone’s trying to-”

“To Plegia and Ylisse!!”

Aversa and Chrom said in unison, echoed by all those at the table. Everyone took their drinks up, your eyes falling to the drink. If it was poisoned…it should at least be you, shouldn’t it? Although it wouldn’t be difficult to pretend.

You raised the goblet to your lips, the liquid touching just briefly before you lowered it back to the table. You didn't ingest anything-- surely it was fine. Frederick's expression had relaxed when you met his eyes again, looking over at you with great pride.

“I’d say this is going just splendidly, wouldn’t you, Robin?” Aversa beamed, her cheeks flushed with the excitement of having made such a rousing speech. Perhaps that and the wine she already drained from her full goblet.

You looked to Chrom, who appeared to be equally flushed and bright with optimism. He had swallowed the wine, too; he seemed fine.

“Robin?”

The table blurred, your gaze shifting towards the back wall, searching for Toumant. He stood close to the doors- he looked confused.

“Robin, dear, are you all right?”

Aversa’s voice was static in your ears. You blinked- which only served to make the blurry room spin. You could’ve sworn you heard Chrom and Frederick asking you a question, but they sounded miles away.

Your hands trembled, reaching out to try and steady yourself.

You weren’t sure if you missed, or you grabbed something wrong.

There was a clatter, the world fell out from under you, and a sharp pain stabbed into your chest.

You couldn’t breathe.

The good news was that your suspicions were correct.

The bad news was you tasted copper in your mouth.

The last thing you saw was the stone floor, trembling hands, and blood spattering between your fingers.

Then…nothing.

Frederick didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late. You mouthed something to him, just as everyone raised their drinks.

Success was paramount, and everything was going perfectly. Had you found those rolls you left for? He hadn’t seen you return with anything.

By the time he lowered his goblet, your own had just barely passed your lips. Perhaps it wasn’t to your taste. A shame; it was truly delicious.

“I’d say this is going swimmingly. Look at all those pleased, round faces.” Aversa commented to him, gesturing to the ambassadors and nobility who were already digging in. “This may end better than I’d hoped.”

“The speech that you and Lord Chrom gave set the perfect mood, milady. I wasn’t certain at first, but I must cautiously agree.”

“Surely you needn’t ‘cautiously’ agree. Can’t you simply ‘agree’, brother-in-law?” Aversa rolled her eyes, shaking her head at you. “Honestly, what do you see in this oversized worrywart, Robin?”

Frederick smiled into his drink; there were countless things. You had told him so many a time when he asked a similar question many years ago.

“Robin?”

He looked up from the goblet, finding a strange expression on your face. You looked disoriented. Almost pained.

Aversa’s tone shifted, setting her cup down to reach out for you.

“Robin, dear, are you all right?”

Frederick’s smile disappeared. You weren’t responding. Your face was pale. Chrom seemed to notice as well, touching your shoulder.

“Robin? What’s wrong?”

“My love, are you-”

Suddenly you fell from your chair, taking your place setting down with you. You grabbed at the mat, causing all of your tableware to crash and shatter on the stone floor.

Frederick’s chair crashed to the floor. He raced to you, desperate to help. You were braced on hands and knees, surrounded by broken glass.

“Robin!!”

“What the hells is going on?!”

Frederick grasped your shoulders, trying to hold you up. To his horror, your eyes were glazed over. Your skin was paper white, and blood-

Gods, there was blood dripping from your mouth.

“Gods, Robin!!” Lissa screeched, the cleric came to your side as the room descended into chaos.

“Clerics- send for clerics, immediately!!” Aversa ordered, the ambassadors and servants alike all rushing towards the doors in a panic. The pandemonium was growing around them.

But to your husband, the nightmare was happening right in front of him. He took you up in his arms, your breathing becoming shallower and quicker in the few seconds he’d lifted you from the floor to his chest.

“Where is your stave??”

“The medical wing- there are emergency supplies in the councilroom!! It’s the closest-”

Frederick sprinted to the doors, forcing his way through the crowd that was filling the narrowing space in a horrific panic. Ice filled his veins, your entire body spasming. A trembling hand grasped at his chest, trying desperately to find purchase.

You were fading. Fast.

“Out of the way!! Everyone, out of the way!!” He bellowed, brute-forcing his way through bodies. His tactics only fomented further panic, uncoordinated nobles stumbling to the floor and servants hitting walls.

There was no time.

Lissa followed closely behind him, the two of them finally breaking out of the crowd and hurtling down the corridor. Frederick couldn’t have run faster- he was sprinting to the councilroom, feeling your heartbeat soften in each footstep.

The spasming was slowing down- the blood was spilling faster.

“Hold on- hold on, love, please-!!”

Lissa somehow had rushed in front of him, pulling open doors and making beeline for the chest in the furthest corner.

“Put her on the table!!” She shouted to him, pulling the Caduceus staff out.

Frederick cradled your head, lowering you onto the massive table. He ripped the heavy chairs away, making space for Lissa to get to work.

“She can’t breathe– can you cut the neckline–”

He ripped the knife from his coat lining. He cut away the fabric, and snapped the necklace away.

The glow of the healing staff wasn’t changing anything. Healing spells were spilling from Lissa’s mouth, the magic shifting from your chest to your stomach, to holding it over your head.

Frederick grasped your hand, fingers pressed against your wrist. Your pulse was-

“Lissa, we’re losing her!”

“I-it’s not enough, I need more help!!” She managed between spells, panic rising in her voice. “It’s poison– it’s spread all over!!”

The breath flew from his lungs.

“Poison-?!” Chrom’s voice broke from behind them. He and Aversa raced into the room, the both of them looking utterly frightened.

“We need clerics, a-and antidotes, and anyone you can find who can hold a staff! She’s running out of time!!”

Aversa flew from the room, shouting hysterically with anger and fear. Someone poisoned Ylisse’s chief tactician. The queen of Plegia’s only sister.

Frederick’s sole reason for living.

“Robin, please–” His voice trembled, feeling your pulse weaken. “Please, my love, please–”

Sobs were intermingling with Lissa’s spells, panic overriding all of their senses. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

It couldn’t end like this.

“Lissa…!!”

Your pulse stopped.

A heartrending cry he would later realize was his ripped through the room. He would not register the room suddenly filling with healers, whipping past him and surrounding your body.

Aversa was bellowing orders, demanding answers, demanding retribution– Frederick’s knees gave out, slamming to the ground, his hand limply relinquishing yours.

A hand on his shoulder –Chrom, someone– pulling him away from his wife.

“They need room to work, we need to go.”

He sounded miles away. His eyes lingered on your form until you were blockaded by the healers.

The hands multiplied on his shoulders and arms, pulling him back. He couldn’t find the energy to resist.

It was all he could do to keep his eyes on you, before the bodies surrounded you and the doors slammed shut.

The echo that followed the massive doors lingered in the air. And the Exalt, the Queen and the knight could only stand there, numb from the shock of what just happened.

“...Who did this?”

Aversa’s shaking voice was the first to break through the silence.

“Who would dare…??”

“Poison…isn’t something commonly used in Ylisse.” Chrom said, brow furrowed as he tried to sort out his thoughts. “To do it now, of all times…this was an attempt to prevent peace before it could even happen.”

“We worked too hard. We worked too hard for this to be what comes of our efforts. To target Robin–” Aversa’s voice was little more than a burning hiss, her eyes widened with rising fury. “We must find the culprit. Immediately. If anything happens to her- if Robin does not survive, then–”

“Chrom!” Lissa’s voice lifted through the fog of their anxiety, breathless in the doorway. Frederick was the first to her side, the princess’ eyes dark.

“Milady, is she–?”

“We’ve put her in stasis. The poison’s spread so far into her system that if we didn’t stop everything, she’d…”

Chrom’s hands were on his shoulders suddenly; ah…his legs nearly gave out, again.

You were at death’s door.

“What can we do?”

“We’ve identified the poison; what we need is an antidote.”

“Name it.” Frederick stepped closer, jaw clenched. “Whatever she needs, I will find it.”

“It’s from the Plegian Duskviper. It has an elapid venom that normally would kill within seconds of being ingested…coming into contact with skin requires absorption, which can delay its impact for a few minutes. We think that’s what happened to Robin.”

“We have antivenom in Plegia’s capital. It’s a shy creature, very rarely encountered…but for the few imbeciles who would try to mess with one, we have a number of potions set aside in major hospitals.”

“How long would it take to retrieve?”

“If we can teleport, a few hours. Is there anyone-”

“Miriel and Laurent live 10 minutes away. Lord Chrom, please summon the Head Mage. She and Aversa will be able to start the teleportation spell in the meantime. Naga willing, we will save her.”

“We will.” Chrom swore to him, “But you should stay with her. Sumia can get to the mages faster with her pegasus.”

Frederick would have debated that, but the prospect of leaving your side was less attractive than staying with you.

So instead, he agreed to stay. And the lot of them split, sprinting in whatever directions were needed. Frederick remained at the doors, Lissa assuring him that as soon as it was all right for him to see you, she would allow him in.

For now, he would wait. Trust that they would be able to save you…and pray he would not lose you again.

The slurring voices around you were difficult to decipher. At one point you remembered screaming.

You remembered trying to scream, but your jaw was clamped shut by an indescribable, inescapable pain that pierced through to your very bones.

You remembered…blurry faces, and sobbing, more screaming. Familiar warmth that quickly turned into searing heat, overwhelmed by a cold that suddenly turned to nothing.

A dreamless sleep.

Eventually, though…the world began to shift.

A strange pressure rose in your chest. As though there was no breath in your lungs. You felt a groan in your throat, trying to pull the air back in.

A coughing fit ripped you from the bleary darkness and forced you back into the world.

You felt a small hand on your back, rubbing circles while another pressed something to your lips. Water? Water.

You swallowed obediently, grunting at the dull stabbing in your throat.

The more you woke up, the more pain you felt.

“Easy, Robin…deep breaths. You’re all right.”

A thousand little needles were prickling into you all at once. Waves of pain that you couldn’t reach pressed deep into your body, far deeper than your skin.

What on earth was going on?

“Can you hear me? Do you feel okay?”

You nodded, then shook your head. A tired laugh followed, another cup pressed to your lips. The liquid had a taste; far more bitter.

“This will help soothe the pain and relax your muscles. I’m afraid there isn’t much more we can do until your body’s ready for another healing session. For now, please rest…let me help you…”

The voice became clearer, eventually recognizable as Lissa’s sweet tone.

Your brow furrowed, trying to open your eyes. It felt like ages before you were able to see her. When the vision finally did come, it was quite blurred.

But the glassy blue eyes surrounded by a halo of soft, blonde hair was a blur you could recognize.

“Lis…”

Your voice was a thousand miles away. But she heard it.

“I’m here. I’m here, Robin…you’re okay.” Her hand touched your neck; it was a cool touch, but welcome. “Don’t push too hard. Can you finish the medicine?”

The cup returned to your lips. A scrunch in your nose, your brow furrowed just so. The numbness that had enveloped your limbs was replaced slowly with a tingling sensation across your body.

“Attagirl.” The cup emptied, easing the tingling sensation.

Or perhaps the bitterness of the medicine that was still thick in your throat was distracting you from the other discomforts.

“I’ll get you some more water…oh, and I should let the others know you’re awake. Frederick will be beside himself!”

It took some effort, but you were able to turn your head to the side, watching the blurry figure scurry around the room. She was coming more into focus now; wearing medical garb instead of that lovely dress she was in earlier…

Your eyes focused further; the strange dark smatterings across the smock was blood.

“Is that…mine?”

“Hm? Oh.” She followed your eyes, brushing her fingers across the fabric. “Well…yes. You were in a bad way, Robin. It was close.”

“What was it?”

“Poison. Though…I suspect you knew that.” Lissa returned to your side, a cup of mercifully clear liquid in it. Gingerly, she helped you lean back against the pillows, somewhere between sitting up and lying back.

The hand that came up to take the water from her trembled violently. Not quite ready to do that, yet.

“There was a name you kept repeating when you were coming back around. You were so feverish, we weren’t sure if it was gibberish or what, but– we discovered it was someone pretending to be a servant.”

“Toumant.”

“That's it.” She agreed, “Aversa locked that man down within hours. He was halfway out of a tavern window, but Frederick caught him.”

“He did?”

“I didn’t see it, but Aversa said it was amazing– he broke the man’s nose with a single strike, then just kept hitting him!! Gods, I wish I could’ve seen it. They won’t be able to interrogate the guy until they can get his jaw back in place.”

“H-he broke his jaw?” You were definitely waking up, now. You hoped you simply misheard, but Lissa nodded vigorously.

“Oh gosh, yes- it went on way longer than it should’ve, because Aversa was the first one in. She was cheering him on before Chrom came in, and he was the one who had to pry Frederick off that traitor! It was quite a sight, I’ve been told.”

It left you at a loss for words. It must have been much worse than you first thought.

“Is he…are they here?”

“I think Frederick and Aversa are waiting outside– do you feel up to seeing them? You’ve gone through a lot, today…if you need some more time alone, it’s okay.”

You shook your head, motioning for her to open the doors.

“My husband’s already broken enough bones.”

The princess would abide by your request, and passed through the door to address the pair of people hovering in front of it.

You leaned back into the pillows, blinking slowly up at the ceiling. You were feeling much more alert, and your vision was almost back to normal.

Just in time to hear the squabbling beyond the door. And, when it finally opened again…

It was your husband who stepped through first. He searched the medical bay for only a moment before his eyes fell on your bed. His expression shifted to something unreadable. It was a mixture of sadness and relief that was impossible to look away from.

Then he locked eyes with you.

A soft gasp fell from his lips. In six strides Frederick crossed the room and reached your bedside. Without a word, his arms came around you, all but lowering his entire frame onto yours from where you laid.

If you could lift your arms, you would. All you could do was take in his sweet warmth, his embrace tightening with each breath he felt you take.

“My love…” His words were a fragile whisper, “...Robin, I…a-are you all right?”

He pulled back, just enough to look you over. The brimming tears in his eyes made your heart lurch.

“Does anything hurt? The antivenom, I…I was told it would be difficult to ingest, and…” You lost track of his words, the worried rambling only growing quicker as he continued his inspection.

His hand touched your cheek, then your neck and shoulder, sliding down your arm as the other wandered across your stomach, searching for any discomfort you might be feeling.

The same hands that were wrapped in bandages, faded spots of blood seeping through the linen where his knuckles should be clean.

You looked up at him, his gaze sweeping up and down your frame in search of missed injury, rambling on about something related to the poisoning.

He did not stop until a small hand reached up, and cupped his cheek.

“Frederick,”

His breath hitched, his body stilled. Delicate fingers fell to his collar, tugging him weakly forward. Obediently, longingly, the distance between you faded.

When your lips touched, he finally paused. The kiss was soft, slow to start. Frederick had stuttered against your advances, but melted into it without a second thought. He pressed into you, breaking apart for a whisper of a breath before he returned it, harder, more urgent.

It was difficult to pull away from him, harder still to catch your breath. Frederick’s cheeks flushed, gingerly settling you back into the pillows.

“Forgive me. I…I did not mean to get ahead of myself. Gods, and while you’re recovering from-”

“It’s okay.” Your whisper drew away the guilt, your trembling hand returning to his cheek darkened the blush.

“Darling…” He covered your hand with his, leaning into your touch. Your fingers were still unsteady against his warmth, but he found it reassuring. A sobering reminder of what could have been.

What almost was.

“I heard…you…broke a lot of bones.”

He scoffed, “A coward almost killed my wife. Had I not been stopped, I would have done far worse than break bones. That was a mercy.”

“He wasn’t– trying to poison me.” You swallowed, “I-it was Chrom. I switched the cups when…I figured out what w-was going on.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His face was tight, lowering your hand to his heart.

“I tried.” You shook your head, “I didn’t know what to do. I thought if I didn’t drink it, I’d be fine.”

“If it were any other poison, perhaps it would have been. It was Duskviper venom.” He informed you gravely. Your stomach flipped.

“Duskviper…? I-I should be dead.”

“The healers put you in stasis for hours. Aversa retrieved antivenom from Plegia, and they were able to reverse its effects before it was too late. But it was…it was close.”

You looked away, squeezing his fingers tight. “I’m so sorry, Frederick. You must’ve been…so scared.”

He was silent, intertwining his fingers between yours.

“I just didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what was going on until it was too late. And if I’d known it was Duskviper, of all things…”

“What matters is you are safe.” He sighed softly, drawing you into his embrace once more. “You are still with me. You are still here.”

“I am.” You promised, nuzzling into his chest.

His heartbeat had steadied; it was back to the strong, slow thump that had soothed your deepest anxieties countless times.

He threaded his fingers in your hair, stroking tenderly. He relished such soft moments; to think he had been mere seconds from watching it all slip away, again.

You wanted to stay in his arms forever. There was no safer place than snuggled up with your big, brown bear. But the impatient knocking on the door suggested it was time you let other visitors in.

Frederick reluctantly withdrew, tucking your hair behind your ear. “I’m sure it is Aversa. She has been waiting patiently…”

“Are you willing to share me yet?” You mused, in spite of the weariness in your voice. Frederick kissed you once more, before he forced himself to leave your bedside.

“If you wish to hear my honest answer, certainly not. I would rather whisk you away to the mountains…far from anyone else for at least a fortnight...perhaps two.”

“I wouldn’t say no to a vacation, if you’re offering.”

“Then I shall arrange it, immediately.” Frederick decided as he opened the door, just in time for Aversa to burst in with a wild look in her eyes. She was hunting for you, rather than searching- and once she locked onto you, she all but sprinted over.

“Sister!!”

She rushed to you, elegant fingernails immediately digging into your shoulders. She wrapped you up in a tight hug, settling you firmly against her chest.

“Gently, Aversa– she’s only just woken!” Frederick hurried back to you, preparing to wrestle her off of you. She all but growled at him, hugging you closer.

“Please, I’m the one who brought the antidote!! I should be allowed a few moments to hold my only sister! Besides, you were doing more than hugging before you finally let me in. I’m sure her pains have eased by now.”

“That’s the medicine, I’m sure…” You coughed some, which finally saw Aversa’s release. She held your face in her hands, her sharp eyes betrayed by the tear stains on her cheeks.

“Do you have any idea how frightened we were?? And when you pulled half the table down with you! What in Grima– what in Naga’s name were you thinking?!”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought if I didn’t drink it, then–”

“Oh, please. You know better than to put strange liquids anywhere close to your body!! Did I teach you nothing?”

“You taught me plenty.” You giggled, though it only seemed to upset her further.

“Honestly, you fool…what were we supposed to do if you really died?? You think Naga would give you a third chance at life? And what about us?? Did you think for a second what it would do to poor Frederick? Haven’t you tormented us enough?”

“I was trying to protect Chrom. That’s all on my mind in that moment.” You looked past her to your husband hovering behind the cross woman.

“If Chrom is meant to die by assassination, so be it. You are no longer to put yourself between anyone and yourself, do you understand me? Or so help me gods, I will come to the afterlife and kill you again!”

“Again, Aversa, I would caution you to refrain from such language…especially given the events of today.”

“I speak nothing but the truth.” She huffed, giving you one more squeeze. “Though, there is one thing on my mind.”

You laid back again, prompting Frederick to come to your side and help prop you more comfortably. His hand lingered on your shoulder.

“What was so important you left the banquet in the first place? Even he wouldn’t say what was going on.”

“I asked Gaius to bake rastons for us.” You explained softly, and her breath hitched. “I haven’t seen you in so long, and we had so many fond memories eating them together on the campaign…I thought it might be nice to reminisce a little.”

She stared at you in utter disbelief; that surely couldn’t be the reason.

“Robin, you…” Aversa hiccuped, shaking her head before all but tackling you into another hug. “You sweet, stupid thing!!”

“I love you, too, Sister.” You chuckled, holding her close. Frederick knelt beside you, putting a gentle arm around you both.

He and Aversa had grown close in your time apart; your loss had bonded them in grief, which had blossomed into a true, familial relationship that only made your time together sweeter.

He was a kind, patient big brother…as he was a loving husband. You leaned into him, committing this moment to memory. In spite of the pain, the fear and the horrific events that preceded it…being wrapped in an embrace with the most important and beautiful people in your life was something you would never regret.

It was an important reminder of what you had, and what you would never allow yourself to lose, again. And considering your recovery was spent with the two of them hovering around you constantly, it seemed that sentiment was held by them both, as well.

As if you needed reason to love them more than you did already.

Rastons are a medieval bread roll that are stuffed with butter..very simple, very delicious! Robin introduced them to Aversa during the campaign, and she fell in love with them... whenever they got their hands on them, it was quite a treat! U V U

#fredrobin #frederick x robin #fe 13 #fe awakening #fe: awakening #fire emblem awakening #fe fictions #fe-fictions #f!robin #fem!robin #f!mu #frederick #hurt and comfort #poisoning prompt #fluff #angst #mostly angst #happy new year!

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skvaderarts · 2 days ago

Text

After several delays (sorry, everyone) chapter one of Various Storms and Saints is done!

AKA the "Jayce accidentally ends up in a good timeline where he and Viktor are together" fic I said I would write.

Summary: Word count 4.7k

After meeting Wizard Viktor and the bad timeline, Jayce takes up the grim task of heading back to his own timeline and setting things right the only way he knows how. But along the way, something goes awry and he ends up in an alternate version of Piltover and Zaun where things appear to have gone very differently, especially between him and Viktor. But after experiencing firsthand the life that could have been between him and Viktor, will he be able to go back and fulfill his promise? After knowing the love that could still be there can he bring himself to destroy it forever?

(If there is smut later, it will be in stand-alone skippable chapters in case that's not your thing. Tags will be periodically updated to reflect the plot.)

A03 Link

Chapter 1: St. Jude

Notes: Hi, everyone! Thanks for checking this out! I hope you enjoy it!

—

“St Jude, the patron saint of the lost causes.

St Jude, we were lost before she started.

St Jude, we lay in bed as she whipped around us.

St Jude, maybe I've always been more comfortable in chaos.”

—

In truth, he’d started to think he’d go mad down there.

The top of the Hexgate loomed over the wasteland that had once been Piltover and Zaun like a lighthouse in a storm, as tantalizing as food to the starving; like a distant thunderstorm in the scorching heat. He had simply known that he needed to scale it. To stand at its zenith and behold the ruined world below him.

A world ruined by Hextech. By his dream. The culmination of their dream.

The culmination of his obsession and love for magic and his desire to better the world with it. The end of their shared brilliance and friendship. The fallible flame of Prometheus passed to him by the man cloaked in frozen, biting winds that had burned him nonetheless.

He’d been as compelled to climb up there as he had been to escape that forsaken cave. That pit where every ounce of despair held deep within him had manifested. That interminable oubliette composed entirely from his nightmares and the hell of his physical reality. As inescapable as the truth.

He’d crawled from the lowest pits of the Undercity to the very tallest structure to ever stand in the clouds of Piltover, a metaphorical journey that he wasn’t the first to make. But it had given him a sense of understanding he’d only once thought he possessed and a clarity only bitter suffering could provide.

They’d both been through so much. And it had created this.

How fitting that it should mark the spot of their shared grave. The Hexgate. A monument to what they could achieve together standing as the last bastion in a dead world. The only life left within it sequestered atop its one gleaming crest. Everything else scurried below, barely alive anymore. Mutated beyond recognition. Nothing untouched by the corruption of the Arcane.

They were both still living in a way, but equality dead all the same. One motionless in solitude, the other rooted to the spot, physically able to leave but unwilling to, trapped in their perpetual state of mourning A terminus of boundless misery, both forever alone despite being so close that the flowers that adorned one had started to spread across the clothing worn by the other as they remained by their side.

How did it come to this? It was unfathomable.

But as he stood there and took in the words that this version of Viktor had told him, he knew it to be the truth. He could not run from it even if he’d had the will to. He’d delivered the weight of Atlas to his shoulders so gently, so knowingly, and yet with such haunting regret. With such a look of profound knowing in his time-worn eyes.

He’d always known Viktor. He just hadn’t known it until that moment. From the first spark of magic to the birth of Hextech. The man who had saved the lives of his mother and himself. He’d once told Viktor he knew that he had no idea how beautiful magic was when he’d been the very one to bestow it upon him. Oh, how little they’d both know at the time. How small the universe had been despite how open they were to all it had to offer.

“We lost ourselves. Lost our dream. In the pursuit of great, we failed to do good. We have to make it right.”

Viktor’s words that day scraped across his frontal lobe like a razor's edge. He was right. He’d been right all along, in fact. He’d said then that the Hexcore needed to be destroyed. Once upon a time, so had their mentor. It was clearer now than ever that for the sake of everyone and everything there was only one course of action to take. One path to walk that only he could tread.

But how could he bear that weight? How could he pick up that hammer? Knowing what he was destined to do with it. When the time came would his conviction alone be enough to make him go through with it? He had never been more sure and uncertain about anything. Sure in the steadfast nature of his promise and uncertain as to whether or not that would be enough. If his will alone would be enough.

Even knowing this he took a breath and looked the man who had saved him as a child in the eye. Perhaps not even a man now. More of a divine being of such terrible power that he knew not what to call him. Not what to make of him. But regardless, as he kneeled there, his resolve strengthened even as pained reality set in. This was the only way. In his heart, he knew it to be the only truth available to him.

“Send me back.”

A hand once obscured by the fabric of the older mage’s robe lowered itself to the skeletal structure that kneeled before it, barely grazing the surface that was as much petal and moss now as it was metal, the cosmos eternally entangled with it. The silence from it was absolute all but for the brief movement of its vacant eyes. His own looking back at him for a place beyond his comprehension. What remained of himself uncurled its fingers, some of them breaking apart at the tips and remaining on the handle. There was no blood. It had been subsumed long ago. But the handle was as much a part of it as the warped base of the hammer it clutched was the structure they stood upon. A limb more than a weapon.

Jayce was as entranced as he was utterly disquieted, the fleeting thought of what it must be like to be this version of himself fluttering through his subconscious for all but a moment before he leaned forward and gripped the handle. Resolute, he met the eyes of this version of Viktor one last time before readying himself.

For all their sakes, he could never find out.

“I won’t fail.”

He felt the band he'd worn upon his wrist for what felt like a lifetime change, disappearing in a flash of light. The rune that had started all of this embedded itself into his very flesh and marked it with the permeance of a brand. A vow. Prof of the unshakable commitment he now carried by his own volition.

He'd escaped the very depths of hell crawling on a broken leg, and yet he knew with unyielding certainty that this would be the hardest thing that he would ever do.

He had to stop Viktor. And every aching fiber of his broken being knew what that meant.

And he hated it. Like nothing he'd ever felt before. So much that it frightened him.

It seethed within him like rolling magma from the depths of Tartarus, ready to erupt and disfigure the bedrock itself. To tear the earth asunder beneath him. Not a hate towards him but a hate for him. On his behalf. For everything that he meant and had become. Because of them both. Because of him. For everything he meant and had always meant to Jayce and the brilliance that would be snuffed out when he watched the light leave his eyes. For everything that he'd done to him even though he'd never meant to hurt him. Every wound he'd inflicted had been out of nothing but love. And that was why it was so corrosive; so volatile.

The worst thing a person could do to someone was love them the way he loved Viktor.

And yet, even knowing that, even as that truth gripped him, some part of him that he despised knew he'd still do it again because he couldn't do nothing when the life of someone he cared about was at stake. That was his foil. The chink in his armor. He saw that now. If only he’d seen it before it had led him down this path. The path, it seemed, that he was always destined to follow.

He would be saved as a child. He would meet Viktor. And they would destroy the world together.

The depths of such betrayal. It wouldn’t be the first time he'd betrayed someone he loved, but it would be the first time he did it on purpose. With the explicit purpose of harming them. That just wasn’t who he was. It went against every atom of his being; against his unfalteringly loyal spirit.

He couldn't hate Viktor for what he’d become. He didn’t want to. But he could hate himself for what he’d done to him. What he was about to do to him. Later.

“I swear it.”

The anomaly reappeared and engulfed them. A fleshy, almost tendon-like conglomeration of round inorganic shapes with little rhyme or reason to them. Visually little more than a mass of shifting rainbow hews and refracting circular portholes punctuated only by its webbed internal structure. Its surface structured and rigid despite its ever-rippling nature. It warped and sputtered, swelling and expanding before contracting and shrinking in pulses and variable waves. It seemed unstable to Jayce, but it was impossible to tell. The amalgamation was as unknowable to him as the depths of the ocean. He would not question how it worked. He knew its purpose. It would send him back.

And then he would set about his grim task.

Jayce shared one final parting glance with the older version of the man he’d once called his closest friend before he felt himself pulled backward, tumbling through the depths of the Arcane. It was a blinding and disorienting experience, channels of light to either side of him rippling through dark, cool hues punctuated by the occasional reds and golds as runic symbols blazed past him at light speed. What appeared to be the night sky loomed over him, stars sparkling in distant, vacant galaxies in the far-off cosmos he was sent along the path that had been purpose-carved explicitly for him. It was beautiful in a frightening way.

Gripping the handle of the Mercury Hammer tightly, he felt himself speed up, approaching velocities that he dared not consider. The implications of how hard his upcoming landing would be would start to eat away at his already raw nerves. He didn’t need that.

His head cascaded through memories and fractured visions, threatening to tear his mind apart. He presumed that he was nearly there. He would hold together for as long as it took. He would finish the job and then his mind could unravel. Perhaps that would spare him some of the inevitable guilt. Some merciful madness to provide him with a thoughtless reprieve.

But as he approached the end of the path, a thought occurred to him. The Arcane. He’d touched it back at the base of the Hexgate and it had felt strange. Alien. Unpleasant. But this was another facet of it. More focused and less untamed. It looked like he could reach out and touch it, skim over its surface just like a hand skimming through silent waters. He’d wanted to do as much during his childhood in the moment that he’d been whisked away to safety. Perhaps a bit of harmless indulgence amidst the madness of it all?

Cautiously, he reached out his hand, extending just his middle, ring, and index fingers. That would be all he needed to-.

He saw his body go one way as he went the other as if he had been snatched from it. It passed him as he lingered behind, time almost seeming to stand still as his mind failed to process the level of horror that he should be experiencing upon seeing something of that nature. And then he was yanked sideways, wrenched through the walls of the Arcane itself.

A fractal, almost psychedelic series of refracting reflections of his own body and mind encircling him and then spreading out in long waves, sending his body through a void of bright white light. He saw the back of himself, row after row repeating the same motions in a slightly delayed sequence as he closed his eyes, only to find that doing so did nothing to stop him from seeing. He felt his heart leap in his chest, his blood pounding as he tried to steady himself.

Curse his foolish curiosity. If he’d only kept his hands to himself…

Suddenly, he felt his body drop. Slamming downward as everything around him went completely white save for the infinite rows of rainbow light that encircled the black, bottomless cosmic hole that he now found himself plummeting into. He opened his mouth to cry out in fear but found that little more than a frightened yelp escaped his parted lips as he plunged into the depths. Jayce closed his eyes, unwilling to look. If this was to be his end then he didn’t want to see what would take him from existence.

Jayce felt his knees buckle and slam downward as his hands caught him and he came to a sudden, bone-crunching stop. He gritted his teeth from sheer instinct, waiting with dread for the inevitable pain that would make its unwelcome appearance in his left leg. But as he opened his eyes he was met with confusion as nothing happened, the only discomfort coming from his palms making contact with the ground beneath him, and even that was nominal at best. His knees tingled a bit, but hardly in a way that he’d consider painful. Slowly his eyes began to adjust.

Light flooded through the trees around him. The smell of crisp waterside air and the gentle flutter of the wings of birds as they soared from the treetops overhead, startled by his sudden stop. The feeling of a comfortingly cool breeze grasping at the fabric that he wore, ghosting over his skin with all the gentleness of a kiss. The sun shone overhead in a bright blue sky barely touched by the paltry smattering of clouds that dared try to impede the light from above, warm but not stifling as leaves blew past him on the paved path that he occupied.

He was looking down at the pavement. There was pavement.

Startled, he scrambled backward onto his feet, instantly thrown off by how unburdened his movement was. He ran a hand over his visibly shocked face, shaking his head back and forth a few times as his palm made contact with the top of his head. There was no hair to brush out of his eyes. It was shorter. He had no beard. No stubble, even.

He looked down and, to his further confusion, he wore something completely different than what he’d just had on. Gone were the muddied and soiled whites and golds that he’d once worn and in their stead was a much more approachable set of clothing. He wore dark pants with a vest and a long-sleeved shirt underneath, the sleeves neatly rolled up to just over the elbow. The garments were complimenting shades of dark blue and that shade of Talis red that he was oh so accustomed to. Familiar but something he was almost certain he couldn’t remember ever wearing before. And yet, something he felt like he would’ve picked out in another lifetime. Certainly inoffensive to his personal tastes.

Taking a second to orient himself, he concluded that he was in a park or plaza of some sort. It had recently established trees. There were benches and what seemed to be a fountain of some sort a short distance away. Nothing noteworthy but it still felt that way.

The place was alive. So unlike what the place he’d just left had been like.

“Excuse me. Sir? You dropped these.”

Jayce turned in alarm towards the individual who had just approached him. An enforcer carrying what appeared to be a clipboard with several documents on it. There was a cover sheet covering the stack bearing a house single that looked reminiscent of his own, only with two hammers instead of the single one he was accustomed to. Everything else was the same from the style to the colors, aside from that notable difference. Odd.

The enforcer handed over the documents, stopping to adjust his uniform. It had probably shifted when he’d reached over to pick up the documents off of the ground.

“T-thank you.” It took Jayce a moment to speak, his mouth and mind not quite in alignment just yet. He wasn’t sure why that had been so hard. What about it had felt so foreign to him? Perhaps spending an extended period in a realm nearly devoid of conversation partners had made him accustomed to other people just existing around him? There hadn’t been anyone to talk to down in that hole except for himself and the vaguely amphibious creatures he’d been feasting on. It was a humbling thought, one that made him uneasy. “Sorry for the trouble.”

The enforcer nodded cooperatively, seemingly taking notice of how off-kilter Jayce seemed. There was just something a bit off about him. Oh, if the man only knew. And yet, he seemed familiar. Like Jayce had seen him before…

It hit him like a bolt from the blue. He looked like that sheriff who had died on the bridge during that attack a while back, only slightly younger. Less hardened. What had his name been? Something with an M. Ah, that was right. Marcus. The same man who’d brought him the documents he’d requested during his second day as a Counselor. The day that they’d gone to check on the Hexgates.

Wait.

Oh no. He’d gone off course. Surely. It should have been obvious at first glance and yet… Was he in the past? Was this another timeline? He needed to find out. Fast.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” It was so strange, speaking to a man he knew to be dead. Or who would die? He didn’t have the foggiest idea just yet, but still. He hadn’t known him but he still felt a small pang of sadness remembering the sight of him laying there when he’d visited the bridge that day with Mel. It almost made him feel queasy again.

“Of course. How can I help?”

“I… “ He flipped through the documentation on the clipboard, looking for something to go off of. A starting place for his investigations. And then he found it: a set of addresses. One was listed as a professional address, a tempting lead to be sure, but the other caught his eye. It was a home address. Apparently, his personal address since it was listed under his house name. But it was not the one he was familiar with. “Could you point me in the right direction?”

Marcus leaned over to read the address and then eyed him questioningly, seemingly wondering something but not saying it. “That’s just a few blocks short of a mile from here. Across the bridge in Central Zaun. Near The Last Drop. Go straight. You won’t miss it.”

The notion that the address was not in Piltover didn’t surprise him. He’d never seen a street by that name there. But Zaun? Was that what the Undercity was called in this universe? Had something disastrous happened in his personal life to cause him to have to move there? Maybe he hadn’t gone back in time, then. This might be more complicated than he’d first imagined. Fantastic.

He thanked Markus and bid him farewell. At least now he had a lead to work with. To Zaun, then. He’d been to the center of the Undercity before. It felt like a lifetime ago now, but he was certain that he could find his way down to the bottom again.

Making his way through town, Jayce couldn’t hope but notice that things felt different. Everything felt brighter; warmer and more optimistic. There were balloons on the street poles and banners over roads. Street service workers were in the process of replacing the standard lights with colored ones and an electric sense of optimism and excitement seemed to flow from everyone he passed. They were all looking forward to something, that much was clear.

And then he reached the bridge.

The structure that once served as a point of separation between the two cities gleamed under the bright sky, bustling with activity and purpose. Children played and vendors showcased different products and purchasable, perishable, or otherwise. People talked and laughed together from all walks of life. There were no blockades. Only traces of where they’d once been. Everything was clean and well-kept. People were enjoying themselves in an environment devoid of tension.

It all felt like a surreal fever dream. A beautiful one.

In truth, it stole his breath away.

He’d always hoped that Hextech could pave the way to a better tomorrow for them all, but to see the Undercity flourishing, even at just the surface level? This place was everything he’d ever hoped it could be. Everything that they’d championed for, especially Viktor. So tirelessly, even at the expense of his own well-being. To see the home that his partner had hailed from brimming with hope and beauty seized him in a way that he struggled to shake as he moved through the streets toward his destination. He wished he could show Viktor this version of his home. He wished he’d had the chance to grow up in this version of his home. No polluted water and acidic air, no downtrodden infrastructure or blackened skies heavy with soot and brimstone from the factories and mines. Just fresh air, daylight, and opportunity around every corner. What they’d all disserved from the very start. What they’d been deprived of by the simple virtue of being born on the wrong side of the bridge.

Genuine tangible irrefutable progress. He wanted this for his Piltover. For their Piltover.

He hurried along, checking the addresses as he passed by what was undeniably the center of town. Past The Last Drop and down its open, winding roads that had once been so narrow and stifling. Down to a quiet but still active zone filled with a mixture of residences and small shops. Colorful, bright, and full of greenery, something unfamiliar to him in this place save for the smog. He rounded a corner and then stopped, suddenly hit by the realization that something just felt off all of a sudden.

It started as simple blurred vision, Jayce shaking his head as he ducked further back away from the street. But then his head shuttered and his legs nearly buckled, his chest heaving as he used one hand to steady himself against the brick wall of one of the shops and the other to grip his throbbing head. He saw colors and shapes in flashes too fast and aggressively to make out clearly. And then he felt his stomach knot and churn before he found himself on his knees for the second time since he’d arrived, emptying the contents of his stomach into a nearby bush.

Panting as the clarity returned to his watering eyes and the breath in his lungs was restored, he stood shakily, steadying himself. He wasn’t a fan of whatever that had been. But it was over. He would continue.

Stepping back out onto the main path he did a double take. He’d found the address. In his stupor, he’d nearly walked right past it.

It didn’t stand out from the other buildings it was attached to, a little two-story thing with a raised stoop that made it apparent that it had a basement with a window well. At the top of the eves was a round window that hinted at the possibility of an attic, but it was hard to be sure from the exterior. The roof was a tarnished copper like many of the others on the road, but in a way that was ornamental instead of the result of a lack of upkeep. The verdigris contrasted the rest of the structure in a way that almost seemed deliberate, with red brick and metal ornamentation that almost reminded him of what one would expect in the more common districts of Piltover but with a slightly different flare. It was… Nice. Easily one of the coziest-looking buildings on the lane. Strange. It even felt like home.

Jayce wasn’t sure what he’d expected to find when he’d imagined where he’d choose to live in the Undercity, but this was a far cry better than what he’d had in mind. Nothing opulent, but to be fair, that had never been the case for any place he’d lived aside from the Kiramman Penthouse during his studies. He dug through his waistcoat pocket and produced a set of keys as he approached the door. There were a few on the ring, in fact. Something else to look into later. If he was there that long.

It took a few keys before he found the right one, but eventually, the door opened and he stepped across the threshold, immediately hit by the comforting warmth of the space. If the outside had been quaint and cozy, then the inside was nothing short of welcoming. Instantly, it felt like a place he’d like to stay in. An archway made in the same art nouveau style with just a sprinkle of art deco that the rest of the building’s exterior had been crafted in opened up into what seemed to be a living area of some sort. Just ahead of him was a staircase leading to the upper level.

Even with the curtains partially drawn across the back window, he could see the wealth of plants in the back conservatory off to the side of the back of the building, accessible via the hallway that ran down past the staircase. An interesting choice. He’d never been the best at keeping those alive despite his best attempts. Perhaps they were specimens for some sort of study.

But as he considered this the same pain he’d felt in his skull returned from nowhere, only with no warning or build-up and with the vengeful spite of a curse set upon him by a wrathful god. He bumped into the wall as he dropped the papers he still carried onto a side table, nearly stumbling over it in the process as he reeled back and used both hands to clutch his aching head, digging his fingers into his scalp as though gouging through his flesh and excavating all the gray matter from his body was the only recourse from which he could hope to derive release.

Gasping soundlessly save for the sound of air parting ways with his lungs, he grounded himself as he clenched his eyes shut. It would pass. It had to. His worst moments always did for they were merely that: moments. He groaned shakily, panting like a shaking animal as his ears wrang, seeing only the flashes of color and fractal nonsense that were the hallmarks of the Arcane anomaly. He could feel his heartbeat in his ears and head as the ceaseless agony slowly subsided, pushing and pulling in tormenting waves until it became vaguely bearable again, coherence no longer simply a product of wishful yearning.

He didn’t hear the handle turn; he didn’t register the door swing open or the silence as it returned to the room. Jayce didn’t feel the presence of another person in the room with him whatsoever, so overtaken was he by the ordeal he’d just experienced. His ears felt like they’d never be useful again. And then he heard a voice. As clear as crystal. Like a chime ringing out in the utterly consuming darkness. He didn’t currently possess the faculties necessary to discern the topic of conversation, but he knew that voice anywhere.

Viktor.

(-~-)

After SEVERAL delays (sorry, everyone) chapter one is FINALLY out and I am over the moon. Seriously, I have so much that I want to do with this AU and so many little stories that I want to tell within it, so bear with me. Sometimes my brain just doesn't cooperate with my writing schedule, but the excitement is there, I promise. I want to know what you guys think! It’s been so long since I’ve started something like this. Was the writing okay?

I have a one-shot to write and then I’m going to start chapter two immediately so the plan is to get it out within the next day or two, if not sooner. Fingers crossed. Thanks again for checking this out! If you want to hear more I have info for the AU on my Bluesky and my Tumblr and they are both linked in my bio. I can provide links if you’d like them. Just let me know. I’d really like to know what you think of this so far. Do you want this to go in a more spicy direction in the future? Is that a no-go for you? I’m itching to hear your feedback. And I hope to see you in chapter 2. Take care and I’ll see you soon. Bye!

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gayofthefae · 23 hours ago

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Stranger Things was originally a single-season series with these characters that would go to different characters and decades. And I'll say it.

I don't think Mike and El would have had a romance.

One thing about screenwriting is even if your entire story - characters, plot, genre - changes, your themes will not. Because they are what the story is BUILT on and told FOR. They are the REASON you wrote it in the first place. And two themes they have are "queer people are good" and "men and women can be just friends and not have that be less valuable".

In one season, I think that would have been executed more as "homophobia is bad" with maybe even no explicitly queer characters and with Mike and El defying the odds of what Lucas and Dustin were suggesting and actually being just friends - or not having them suggest it at all and truly just having him promise friendship and deliver friendship.

But then they were invited to tell a longer story. And why just say "homophobia is bad" when you can really elaborate on "queer people are good". But to do that, you need actual queer people. Will and Mike - the victims of the homophobia in the original Mike.

The other theme, men and women can be just friends. But if we reach the conclusion of our theme at the end of a story with conflict to achieve it first, now in the middle seasons rather than episodes, spanning years for the characters instead of days, a relationship they're wrong to pursue makes a lot more sense. AND now we've got a new queer experience: a queer boy who tells himself he can't like boys because he's with a girl.

I believe it entirely plausible that Mike and El's romance was written in the first place upon the idea of a longer show in order to execute his queerness. I believe it is entirely plausible that were Mike actually straight, he would also never have had a romance with El. There would be no narrative purpose for it.

#the duffer brothers #stranger things #elmike themes #byler themes #themes #stranger things pacing #willelmike pacing #willelmike meta

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aettuddae · 1 day ago

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high garden academy — chapter 58.

⟢ synopsis: a new school year begins at the high garden academy boarding school, bringing with it new students, and among them, the new center of attention for the drama-thirsty student body: the hong sisters. eunchae and her mysterious and unsympathetic older sister, daein, who oddly seem uninterested in the secrets, legends, and gossip of their new school. winter, the institution's top student, and karina, the popular girl and promising pianist, never imagined they would end up so closely involved with hong daein.

masterlist | prev | next

[written chapter]

[a/n: i haven't updated in ages so if from now on there are profile pictures/anything that changes in any way, it's because i couldn't find the previous ones]

the yu's house was gigantic, more rustic and traditional than what daein expected to find. nowadays all the houses of families with money looked like hospitals, white floors and walls, little decoration, no life. daein didn't like that kind of residences, sometimes she considered she had an old soul, and it was partly because she felt more comfortable in places like that. the high garden building seemed extremely nice and cozy, although she hated being in there, it was like a big museum where you could also live, practically a dream. the yu's house also gave her that feeling, it even reminded her a bit of her own house, although it seemed less like a medieval vampire castle.

unfortunately, daein could not inspect the home as she would like, spending time on the details and the probably expensive antique decorations, her brain was having great difficulty functioning properly, she could not concentrate either on the scenario she was in or on the numerous questions she was being asked by the couple who owned the house, stammering out answers that almost sounded coherent that she put together with the little willpower she had left based on the few words she retained. karina was doing god's work completing her sentences and making sense of them, justifying her attitude by saying she was shy or nervous. all her attention was on her own body, on the headache that seemed not to have stopped for days, the sweat that had no reason to appear as it wasn't hot enough, the nausea that hit her from time to time making her inspect the place to identify the quickest way to the bathroom in case she had to vomit. of course, some of that could be caused by lack of sleep since she hadn't rested well in the past three days, and she didn't even feel like thinking about the heat that invaded her chest every time she had to suppress the urge to yell at karina to shut up since lately she couldn't stand anyone, least of all her, or having to avoid rushing the girl's father who spoke extremely slowly.

daein was a complicated person, bitter to say the least, but this was already getting out of hand. she was never someone who lost her patience so quickly, although it could be because of her physical discomfort which was also a particularity of this stage of her addiction.

but she didn't use strong substances, did it make sense for her to feel this way? maybe she was just sick.

of course it didn't matter because she had to stay sober for...

for some reason she couldn't remember.

jennie? this dinner? sehun? oh, eunchae. she had to do it for eunchae. was it for eunchae at all? why was she putting her body through this? nevermind, there had to be some good reason, it was probably for eunchae, wasn't it?

still, she did know why she couldn't think straight, one thing being karina's hand resting on her lower back as they both sat on an elegant sofa in a corner of a room specifically dedicated to tea. her other hand rested on her leg, while with the one her parents couldn't see the girl pinched daein's skin as if trying to wake her up or nag her for her erratic behavior. the younger one disguised her correctives with displays of love and hong was not fascinated by either.

"aeinie." she hated that nickname with all her might, but she still turned to look at her. "do you want to see the piano?" the girl's expression at the suggestion of that was somewhat frightening, like when as a child you got reprimanded by your teacher and she had to disguise the anger so as not to lose her friendly image, but only achieved a hybrid that scared you more.

"will you play for me?" she asked expressionlessly, she didn't know what the fuck was happening to her body, but that karina played the piano she did remember, idiot.

the blackhaired faked a tender expression, dropping her shoulders and her eyebrows, she moved closer, and gave a kiss on her cheek. "sure, i'll play something for you." she agreed, standing up and extending her hand to her.

"food will be ready soon, go and we'll let you know." announced the girl's father as daein grabbed onto her to get up, they both nodded slightly.

"what did you consume?" sentenced with a forceful tone the youngest whispering when they were already a little bit away from her family.

"nothing." she was at a loss, the words seemed to come out of her mouth at random.

"daein." she shot her an accusatory look.

"i didn't use anything." she reiterated. "that's why i'm like this." she explained after letting out a drawn-out sigh. "but it will pass." rather than trying to calm karina down, she seemed to be trying to convince herself.

she looked her up and down, finding the sweat on her neck and recalling having seen somewhere that this must be a symptom of abstinence, although she wasn't sure. because of the state she was in, she had no choice but to believe her. daein was usually lost and didn't make much sense, but at this moment she was worse, even anguished, anxious, which was rare to see in her. she hoped her parents hadn't noticed from across the coffee table.

without saying more, she walked over, leading her with her clasped hands, approaching the long, elegant brown grand piano with lines effect, there being some darker ones, indicating it was macassar ebony wood. karina took a seat first on the stool that was wide enough for daein to enter as well, so this one followed the younger girl's steps and sat with her.

"do you know anything about piano?" the expert inquired putting her hands on the keys and stroking some of them creating a vague ephemeral sound.

"my mom plays the piano." she commented, her eyes inspecting the instrument. "she's not professional or anything, but she plays sometimes."

"you appreciate your mom a lot." she observed.

"isn't that what all children do?" she said with obviousness.

"i guess." she cocked her head to the side as if that would help her think her words better. "my mom tends to get overshadowed by my dad's presence." she mumbled in fear of being overheard.

"i understand." agreed the older one. "mine too."

"i see we have something in common." she smiled sideways, victorious.

"unfortunately." she grumbled, grimacing in disappointment. "but she's still my mother, you know." she continued.

"no, of course, i know what you're talking about." she sat up in the seat. "if mom wasn't around i think i'd go crazy." she laughed softly.

"bonding with parents must be more complicated when you hardly see them during the year." daein assumed, turning her head to give her a look.

"yes." she shook her head accompanying the statement. "since i've been attending high garden since i was little, there are teachers i've seen more these past few years than my father." she admitted with a downcast attitude. "i'm sure most of my baby teeth are in some jar in teacher jeon's office." they both laughed at the image. "hey! i made you laugh!" celebrated the younger exalted girl.

"it doesn't count, i'm dying." she stopped her, causing her to pout.

silence fell over the place and before allowing it to become uncomfortable, jimin began to play a piece on the piano, her fingers strolling comfortably across the keys as if she had no bones to constrain her. it was a rather slow melody, but still complicated, daein watched her hands without understanding how someone so young could have such ease in playing such a complex instrument. it wasn't melancholic, it sounded like a summer ballad, positive, hong had no idea what song it was, but she was mesmerized, it was the first time all day she could pay attention to anything.

slowly karina's fingers paused as she played the last few notes until the lack of sound returned to the room, but far from discomforting, it represented a missing of words. daein hated wanting to compliment her on her talent, but she had to admit she had loved it.

"you're good." she criticized. "very good."

"it's one of the works i'm supposed to play at the korean music contest." she reported casually. "i should do well." she sounded a little pressured and it made sense, not just anyone was representing one of the most prestigious schools in the country in the most important national music contest among students. "did you learn anything from your mother?" she removed her hands giving daein room to play.

"little, actually." she directed her hands to the piano and hesitantly pressed several keys without much sense, according to the blackhaired she was trying to play a rather messy version of ode to joy.

realizing that she didn't remember what the song was like at all and noticing the horrified look on the pianist's face next to her, daein preferred to stop trying, generating some sympathy in the girl next to her, who with a confident smile stood up and walked to stand behind her, leaning a little until she could reach her hands, her chest resting against daein's back and their cheeks just a few inches away from brushing against each other. she positioned daein again on the keys and began to guide her so that at a leisurely pace, but not as awkward as before, she could play the song she had attempted.

what irony hong daein playing the ode to joy.

daein was using all her energies to focus, if there was something that moved her it was the need to complete things and do them well, and maybe that was one of the causes of her deep sorrow, not being able to do anything right in this last time of her life. she couldn't even stand the discomfort she felt at the lack of doping. she followed karina's indications as well as her condition allowed, failing in some notes, skipping others, but in general sounding as she should, which must have been all the responsibility of her puppeteer.

with some difficulty the song ended, a small smile on both faces, one out of pride at having completed the piece no matter how easy it was or how many mistakes she had made, and the other because she was distractedly enjoying the closeness with the older one. neither having noticed that they came even closer than before, completely entangled with each other, their cheeks pressed against the opposite, jimin's arms almost embracing daein from behind. the blackhaired moved her head slightly so that her nose could rub hong's cheek, closing her eyes to enjoy the fact that she wasn't moving away, nodding her head slightly up and down. she lifted her hands from the piano and used them to hold onto her neck completely, wrapping her in her grip.

daein let herself be carried away by the tender gestures, and leaned her head more and more towards her own shoulder, following karina's touch, her eyelids drooping and preventing her from seeing that this was the same girl who used to drive her crazy all the time. her face was predisposed to the younger girl, who now that they were facing each other was caressing her nose with her own.

after all daein was not in her five senses and was someone who would do anything for a simple token of affection,

so she didn't stop jimin when this one captured her lips between hers, slowly, delicately, more than a kiss it was caresses between their mouths, with trouble to detach, to cut the touch. karina always wanted more of daein, once she kissed her, she couldn't stop thinking about doing it again, so being like this with her felt fulfilling, and more exciting than kissing anyone else she'd ever done it with before.

she didn't understand why, but no one seemed to have such soft lips as daein, and no scent was as satisfying to be smothered by as daein's was. she was such a cruel person, she rarely showed any pity for her, but when she kissed her no one was as tender as daein.

needless to say, she was exaggerated and restlessly obsessed with hong daein.

their mouths were entwined, daein's hands had risen to hold and attend to jimin's resting on her collarbone, their tongues were just now wanting to meet, but they never got to. "jiminie, the food-" the housemaid suddenly came in interrupting them. "oh, sorry." she covered her cheeks in embarrassment with amusement on her face, the two younger girls looked at her uncomfortably, separating immediately. "the food is ready."

(!)

— taglist [open] : @yoontoonwhs @gayforalll @hwm1hyun @jisooftme @gornoi @eunhhh @petruchiosstuff @linnnsworld @xen248 @trueblumarinegf @rinapomu @imahallucination11 @thefckghost @myouiiiiiiii @blaymine @chaewoni3 @aliceiwk @gfriendsapple @sewiouslyz @multiliker @cwpiqwon @pandafuriosa60

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bibi-e · 1 day ago

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Anything Grayson. like a quick one shot 💌

a/n: thank you anon for this request my brain was filled with Grayson thoughts and I admit that was hard to write just one of them lol. Thank you and I hope you like it!!

summary: wife! reader makes a special night for Grayson but urgent matters come and she gets late. R! is also pent up, and horny on main and only Grayson can fulfill that

warnings: established relationship, wife!r, scent kink (using Grayson's smell to get off), use of toys -dildo, reader is horny on main for this woman and so am I.

Grayson was late again.

You weren’t worried or chewing your fingers to the bone. She had called you to explain that an urgent demand coming from the Council had come by the end of her shift, and since Grayson would never leave work to do at home, she decided to stay some extra hours, promising that as soon as she finished she would be in your arms.

However, you were left frustrated. Earlier that day you decided to spoil your wife once she was back from sheriff duties, noticing how stressed she looked these past days and how little time you two had spent together. You understood it without doubts and were sportful towards her, your love never failing in those unconventional moments. However, most of all, you were getting pent up from this.

You couldn't blame yourself, for having Grayson as a partner and act normal when she’s waking up by your side with messy hair, sleepy eyes and her voice going on a lower tone when she wishes good morning. Seeing her stepping out of the bathroom with only a towel around her body or even fully naked due to your intimacy and trying not to eat her with your eyes as she puts on that royal blue uniform gives her physic a boost. Her rough and yet gentle manners of handling you in the bedroom, made you scream in pleasure and cry wanting more of her. You tried to get off many times but none was able to satisfy as she does, using the same motions on your toys, riding the same way you did with her, fucking yourself countless times to reach your high and try to ease this burning desire during her absence. Yet, none fulfilled it, it was her presence and authority that pursued the space inside of you and extinguished that uncontrolled lust.

Furrowing at the layed table with crystal glasses and perfectly folded napkins, the smell of the dinner you had made still lingered in the air waiting for her to come home so you two could have a romantic night remembering the time you had done it weekly. You sat on the chair and waited, left with no options other than that. But the frustration did nothing to calm the fire consuming you.

Pacing to your bedroom with a jacket of hers, you entered and crashed into her side of the bed hugging her pillow and pressing your face into it inhaling her scent, crisp green apple and warm amber notes intoxicating your body as you start to grind your hips down the soft mattress searching for a form of relief as your heart ached without her with you.

Memories from that same smell on her neck when you buried your face on it whilst her blanketing your form with her larger frame, you were a mess trying to plant with wet kisses and suck on her neck with her avenging your doings by diving her strap on you. Grayson had pride in her physique, she might not have the same muscles and strength as she was younger but her stamina qualified to leave you drained and without walking properly for some time – when both of you were feeling inspired –. You reached for the drawer close to your side and grabbed the grey dildo there taking off your clothes along with your panties and began to smear your wetness around the tip of the toy, it didn’t take much for you to press it against your hole and bottoming it inside of you. Coming to grab the pillow against your face again, you sniffed the soft cover as you worked yourself around the toy, her aroma intoxicated your senses again and you worked the toy faster on you growing sopping wet with each precise trust against that good spot, thinking it was her doing it, with her experienced hand and her voice guiding you towards your climax. But that didn’t happen.

Once again you came, gripping the jacket and pressing on your nose but it did little to satisfy you like it was just a matter of seconds to have your core aching again for more. You slowed your hand moves, trying to ride out your orgasm and building up another until a click was heard that startled you, eyes flew open to search the origin of the nose across the room.

Grayson was standing by your now-closed bedroom door (that you probably forgot to close) with her jacket in one hand and unbuttoning her white button shirt with another, pairing with lustful eyes darting to you. “Good evening my darling. I can see you had anticipated your plans for tonight.” She reached out the dildo, cupping your hand that rested there, and proceeded with your motions watching how it disappeared inside of you and the squelching noise our cunt was making by her arrival. “I’m sorry I made you wait, not only for tonight but previously too. However, I believe that my formal apologies will have to wait until I’m done with you here.” her gravelly voice rocked your ears, her true scent overfilled your nostrils and made your brain dizzy, and lust burned stronger on your body from finally having her with you. Feeling her hand around yours and dragging the toy against your walls and hitting that spot over and over, quickly building a breathtaking orgasm that had your legs shaking and eyes rolling back.

The night was long, Grayson had to make up for you and drain your energies for the week.

#﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒bibi writes!#grayson arcane #arcane grayson #grayson x reader #grayson x you #grayson arcane x reader

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exonerin · 2 days ago

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I was hoping you would love me again

[Obikin Fic][1/?]

I loved you.

His mother cleaned the wound, her gaze flitting from the sluggishly bleeding laceration to his face and back. Using animal senses, an inexplicable intuition, or an impossible sixth sense, Anakin knew she wanted to talk about it.

Too bad Anakin didn't. His lips pulled into a scowl, his eyes narrowing as his features set into a stubborn pout.

His mother didn't know things like Anakin did, but she knew him. So, she sighed, concerned and tired. Anakin won, but he could win the fight and still lose the war. Guilt settled in Anakin's stomach, a snake that coiled and hissed, baring its venomous fangs.

Its defense was a lethal attack.

I loved you.

The din of the slave quarters was white noise, a background sound so familiar it functioned as a lullaby. Now, it filled an uncomfortable silence.

Finally, his mother put the swab of bloody cotton aside, reaching for a strip of fabric torn from an old tunic instead.

I loved you.

As she bandaged his right forearm, the three words disappeared. Anakin's shoulders slumped, the spots behind his shoulder blades tingling with released tension.

"All done," his mother said, patting his head gently.

"Thanks, Mom," Anakin said, and his mother's lips quirked funnily. Caught between fondness, concern, and guilt.

It didn't matter.

I loved you.

Anakin Skywalker had a soulmate, and he would meet them one day. Most people never met theirs, but he would meet them one day. The love declaration adorning his forearm dictated so.

Anakin Skywalker also knew he would lose his soulmate.

I loved you.

His mother told him he had had the mark since his birth, his destiny predetermined by a universe that had pointed at him and said: you, little one, are made to suffer.

Because Anakin Skywalker's soulmate would only declare their love when it was already ground to dust. It was a futile love, doomed from the beginning because fate had said so.

I loved you.

Once upon a time, in a future yet to pass.

The Aurebesh characters mocked him, but Anakin hungered all the same. Oh, his soulmate's first declaration of love would be an ending to a tale, but the tragic finale etched into the fleshy part of his right forearm promised him this: Anakin Skywalker would meet his soulmate.

And his soulmate would love him.

He was wretched, for this love wasn't made to last, but his soulmate would love him nonetheless. He couldn't change this future.

The wound on his forearm scarred.

I loved you

His mother frowned when she looked at his soul mark. Both knew why Anakin had cut into his arm, his tongue caught between his teeth in concentration, coincidentally also masking the pained grunts. They knew some wounds were invisible, the scars on Anakin's skin only hiding what festered underneath.

It didn't matter. If nothing ever amounted to anything, if Anakin was doomed to be miserable and alone, he wouldn't ever care.

***.

Anakin Skywalker had believed the confession on his forearm was most wretched, most miserable. However, he considered Obi-Wan Kenobi when making this assessment.

One morning, early in his apprenticeship, Obi-Wan had raised a cup of tea to his lips, and his sleeve had fallen back to reveal text in a neat print.

I hate you!

Anakin had gasped, and Obi-Wan had given him one of those sardonic smiles. Scared that Obi-Wan would change his mind about teaching him, Anakin didn't say anything.

Yet, the words bothered him.

Only the first declaration of love, that very first confession, would show on a person's skin. Arguably, screaming at someone you hated them seemed counterproductive.

It wasn't a declaration of love.

In his room, Anakin pulled his sleeve back to reveal the scribble on his forearm. The scar had grown old, a thin white line. Barely visible across the elegant letters delivering a damning message.

I hate you!

I loved you.

***.

I can't give regular Wednesday WIPs on my current project (you'll understand why when I post the first chapter in a few weeks). But trust that the sand cat Obikin fic is progressing nicely. Instead, I figured I could post something else on Wednesdays in the meantime.

For now, it'll only be on Tumblr, but I might add it on AO3 at some point, and then the priority changes. Anyway, enough rambling.

#obikin fanfic #obikin #obikin wip

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steddieunderdogfics · 2 days ago

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This week’s writer spotlight feature is: @gayjinkies! gayjinkies has 7 fics posted on AO3 in the Stranger Things fandom and all of them are in the Steddie tag!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @Gayjinkies:

I’m a lover, boy

lover, you can’t be wrong

heartbeat (increasing heartbeat)

any solitary pleasure

Are You Sending Out Your Love Signs?

"Their writing is absolutely masterpiece. I LOVE their characterisation of Steddie!" -- Anonymous

Below the cut, @gayjinkies answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

I started reading Steddie during a really weird and stressful time in my life. I’d be reading literally the entire night through for months on end. Reading about these dumbass boys was one of the only ways to escape for a while. When my day-to-day chilled out a bit, I figured I may as well give writing a go, since I’d read, I swear to god, hundreds of fics by that point. I immediately fell in love with thinking up the most idiotic, goofy situations to plop Steve and Eddie into. I’m also a sucker for enemies-to-lovers dialogue and the possibilities are endless with these two. There’s so much potential chemistry and tension and canonically unexplored backstories which makes it so much fun to write!

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I don’t think I have an all-time favourite! One of my favourites is friends-to-enemies-to-lovers because ohhh the layers…the betrayal…the yearning… I also love reading hidden identity fics, I eat them up so damn quick. And then the usual suspects: forced proximity, miscommunication, requited-unrequited, fake dating, only one bed. Honestly I could list so many that I love with my entire heart.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

I’m not sure if Crack counts as a trope?? If so, then that for sure. The more absurd the better, in my book. I love taking the most ridiculous situation I can think of and trying to write it believably enough that readers could think, “huh, yeah, I can see this happening. This makes sense for these two.” Apart from that, I love writing miscommunication. It’s so much FUN, and as I’m typing it I’ll be shaking my head, clicking my tongue, muttering, “if only you guys just talked…” and then not allowing them to properly talk for another 10k words.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

This is such an impossible question, there’s no way I could pick just one out of so many absolute bangers 🤚 blipblot’s A Lick and a Promise is phenomenal and I’ll shout it from the rooftops (I’ll shout about literally all of their fics from the rooftops, they’re just so spectacular) I’m reading Big Talk by occasional_loverboy which is SO FUCKING GOOD. let’s exchange the experience by jamiethegardener is an absolute favourite. Vulture by GriefAbyss is currently and very actively consuming my thoughts. throw me one by Adure is one of the first Steddie fics I fell in love with right at the start and it’s one of my all-time favourites.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

Ohhhhh so many. I would love to write a secret identity fic and a fake dating fic, and I’ve got ideas bouncing around my head for both of those. They’ll get written eventually!! I also haven’t really written slow burn yet because I love instant gratification with ensuing angst and drama, but I would love to try my hand at it!

What is your writing process like?

Controversial, maybe! I can’t write any scene without having written the scene before, everything is written sequentially. I don’t plan or draft at all, so scenes just develop as I’m writing, which makes it impossible to jump ahead in the plot and write because the story changes every time I sit down to write more. It also means that if I get stuck on one particular scene, the entire fic grinds to a screeching halt until I figure a single line of dialogue out 🫠 So it’s slow going a lot of the time! I also don’t really edit apart from checking my spelling and grammar, so not much is left on the cutting room floor! Also, I only write while blasting pink noise through my headphones. I sometimes have music playing in the same room but the pink noise stays on the entire time.

Do you have any writing quirks?

I’m not sure!!! Probably using way too many em dashes, which I say hesitantly for fear of people reading my shit and noticing my overuse 😬 I also recycle specific phrases all the time, which are usually ones that I use in my day-to-day as well. They just seem to snake their way into each and every fic.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

I’ve discovered that I really do need to have finished writing before starting to post, otherwise there’s a chance it won’t be updated for months as my focus jumps to other projects.

Which fic are you most proud of?

I’m really proud of set my wings on fire. It was my quickest turnaround time from idea conception to finished product, and it’s also the only fic I’ve written that’s just one scene. I also experimented more with structure and writing style with that one. It’s the most love I’ve ever put into a fic and the most fun I’ve had writing so it’s very special to me.

How did you get the idea for any solitary pleasure?

Ahhh, my stink kink fic. Not to put my friend on blast, but they were chatting with me about a guy they’d hooked up with who had a cologne collection totalling over $10,000. When I asked my friend if the guy smelled good, they replied that they didn’t really know, they prefer natural musk and sweat over fancy colognes. I heard that, immediately thought, “sounds like a certain someone…” and knew I had to thrust a scent kink upon Eddie.

When writing heartbeat (increasing heartbeat), what was something you didn’t expect?

I didn’t expect how difficult it would be to orchestrate a phone sex scene! I think dirty talk is one of my weaker areas in writing, so not being able to fall back on action descriptions when it came to Steve and Eddie’s interactions was hard. I’m a big fan of non-verbal communication and not having that as an option was definitely challenging.

What inspired I’m a lover, boy?

I don’t think there was any particular inspiration! The plot for I’m a lover, boy literally popped into my head fully formed one day, and I spent a bit of time just kicking it around before writing it all down.

What was your favorite part to write from lover, you can’t be wrong?

I love writing Steve & Robin scenes, and lover, you can’t be wrong is riddled with them. I’d never written anything from Steve’s POV before and exploring their friendship has been so lovely. Their conversations flow and I love that for both them and me.

How do/did you feel writing Are You Sending Out Your Love Signs??

Are You Sending Out Your Love Signs was the first Steddie fic I wrote, after having not written creatively for years. It was written after a solid few months of sleep-deprivation and stress and I don’t really remember much about how I felt while writing it! I think for a while I was very sure I was never going to post it, so I didn’t care about whether it was actually quality writing or not, which was freeing!! It was a good stepping stone to getting back into writing because it was a zero-pressure experience.

What was the most difficult part of writing Are You Sending Out Your Love Signs??

Probably literally just starting it!! I hadn’t written creatively since high school, and I hadn’t really been good at it then, so I was 100% convinced I wouldn’t be able to do it. Most of my experience is in writing research studies, so it was hard to push past that and embrace flowery, fun fiction writing.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

In my most recent fic, call my bluff when I roll the dice, there’s a scene where Eddie accidentally humiliates Steve regarding the size of his dick, and I had SO much fun writing it. The entire fic was built around that scene that I’d had in my head for ages. I love writing emotionally-driven dialogue and also Very Silly dialogue, so that was such a fun one to write.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I have a bunch of WIPs and even more ideas that haven’t been put on paper yet! I’ve got a long-form fic half written that I’m very excited about which I refuse to start posting until I’ve finished it, but it’s in the works! I’ve also got a third of a gloryhole fic written which I’m also keen to finish and post. Apart from them, I’ve got a bunch of crack ideas that I’m very sure will be posted in the near future!

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

I wanted to thank steddieunderdogfics for everything that you do 💖 big love to you guys!!!

Thank you to our author, @gayjinkies, and our nominator! See more of gayjinkies' works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

#writer's spotlight #writer's wednesday #steddie #steddie fic recs #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things #steddieunderdogfics

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