#I promise this is probably the most I'm going to listen to lyrical music lol

[rememberingliampayne]

Dear Liam,

I'm going to miss you so very much. I'm going to miss opening your snapchat stories, I'm going to miss watching your tiktoks and I'm going to miss hearing your new music. You were such a huge part of my life, even if you never knew me.

I was around 6 years old when what makes you beautiful was released. I live in Canada and One Direction was the only thing every girl in my class talked about. I was wearing one direction pajamas to bed every night and had a 1D backpack just like every other girl my age. However, I wasn't able to fully appreciate everything the band was, I was mainly invested into the singles, and LOVED zayn, especially as a indian girl in western culture.

That is until I was around 12 years old in 2018, where I became a full blown stan. As I learned more about the band, watching every interview and memorizing the entire discography, I imediately fell in love with everything about you (no pun intended). You were always so sweet and funny, which is why YOU, liam, became my favourite. I started getting fully emerged into everyone's solo music, but bedroom floor and strip that down were the songs I played the most.

I was so excited for LP1 to release, I remember staying up all night (no pun intended again), just to be one of the firsts to listen. However, even then I recall everyone hating and comparing your music to the other boys' releases. I didn't care and stood by everything, I remember using the lyrics of 'heart meets break' as a part of my romeo and juliet english presentation in ninth grade LOL.

Then when COVID hit YOU were the only thing keeping me going. I felt completely isolated and lost, but you going on tik tok live, the LP show, the weekly roundups on youtube and everything else you were doing at the time helped me get through it. Every bit of content you released brightened my day, and it gave me something to look forward to ESPECIALLY during those uncertain times. I remember seeing the tik toks you made like wap/wmyb one with abby, or the other one captioned something along the lines of "the meeting after zayn left the band," and i rmr you posting and talking abt Eitan. I remember every tiny detail because of how much it meant to me, and how much I enjoyed your content.

On a lower note, after the logan interview, i rmr distant friends who didnt even listen to 1D text me to debrief the interview, because everyone was hating on you. I however, always defended you to everyone I know. I was truly upset by people who ridiculed you for saying sum along the lines of the band being built around simon's promise to you. Yes I agree everyone in the band is so talented and successful in their own ways, and everyone has come a longg way from then, but I told everyone who approached me abt this that you were probably the most comfortable and strongest vocally during XFactor. You are so so talented Liam, and I have always defended that. I was truly upset by the hatred being sent towards you during that time, and although I missed your regular content during that break, I'm so glad you were able to take some time for yourself.

Fast forward to this year, I was so excited to be signed up for whatsapp updates officially, and thought that was the coolest thing ever!!! I listened to Teardrops as SOON as it was released after waiting forever because this was the start of a new era :). I couldnt wait to hear new music for the first time in a couple of years, the hype with the stickers and everything was also super super cool. The song felt so authentic and I couldnt wait for you to drop a second album. I imagined you'd go on tour next year to promote a new album, but I guess we'll unfortunately never know your plans.

One day when I was opening snapchat stories from my friends as I normally do, I clicked next and stumbled upon a story from you! It was so surprising and shocking, I mean I've subscribed on snapchat to u since I made my account in like 2020, but I've never really seen you POST. Eventually this became a regular thing, the snapchat stories, and I rmr you even posting on your instagram story telling fans to watch the snap content lol. Even up to the days before you unfortunately left us, I would watch those stories over and over because your content has always brightened my life.

I love and appreciate you so much Liam, thank you for everything you've done for us as fans. I hope that one day I will meet you, and that I will be able to thank you for everything. I hope you're happy wherever you are and know that you have always been loved :)

[thegeminisage]

soundtrack for the ossuary

sometimes i put music suggestions in my fic notes, but i didn't make an exhaustive list, so i decided to make a tumblr post of what songs i listened to while writing or editing any particular selection. this is mostly so i don't forget but partially so if anybody else wants to feel insanely authentic about it they can. some of these choices are really embarrassing, so if you read it, you have to pinky promise not to judge me, ok?

reapify - desolation - listened to this while writing the prologue. i'm big into "music that sets a strong tone without having a specific melody or lyrics that can distract you" and this is the first of many such cases. it's got a slow build that lends itself well to that "something is about to happen" feeling.

atrium carceri - leviathan - i probably beat this one up the most while writing this fic. specifically, the is the music i played when writing lucanis waking up underwater, but i also played it a TON throughout other scenes with quiet moods when i couldn't decide on something more definitely. it's haunting and creepy and aquatic and even has ambient background noises. could not have asked for a more perfect ossuary song. i haven't played the game this is from, but i'd like to one day!

hans zimmer & lorne balfe - down, but not out - this is from veilguard's ost! i played it while writing the first escape attempt, where lucanis ran into the qunari prisoner, and the fight scene with zara. the part where it picks up is perfect "wandering the halls but very quickly" music.

the allergorist - dark forces (robert koch rework) - this one was for lucanis getting tossed back in his cell after the escape attempt, realizing what's happening, and being told to eat the horrible thing. sinister and dramatic!

steve roach - void memory 3 - for most of chapter 3, where lucanis is forcefed spite. it's very sinister and creepy and definitely lends itself well to an atmosphere of being trapped in a tiny room with the object of your own demise. also listened to this during the scary ch5 torture scenes.

daniel licht - void theme - this was what i listened to while doing the actual forcefeeding scene; it's a great song to introduce spite, as it introduces the outsider in dishonored 2. also listened to this during the scary ch5 torture scenes.

øneheart - this feeling - when lucanis wakes up to discover he is, shockingly, still alive and not a monster.

beauty & the beast's "prologue" - one by moisés nieto and one by diana dream - it's a song that lends itself to a "trapped in a tower" feeling. i added them to my playlist after the fic writing process had already been finished, but i listened to them while editing a lot of the quieter scenes where lucanis is Still Stuck In Prison, and especially the mid-scenes of chapter 4.

hiræth - whiteout - for the scene where lucanis finds out spite has wings, and correctly guesses his name. interestingly, this one is melodically similar to the song i listened to at the beginning of the chapter.

hans zimmer & lorne balfe - from a trickle to a flood - another one i listened to this during the scary ch5 torture scenes. it's just got a creepy feeling of dread around it!

henry jackman - taking a stand - okay, now we are getting to the embarrassing choices...this is what plays during the elevator fight in, um, the w*nter s*ldier. i was writing an elevator fight in the escape attempt at the end of chapter 5, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ actually, i listened to this a little bit too hard. without having seen the movie in a very long time, i accidentally choreographed my action scene so that it matched the movie perfectly. i had to go back and edit it, lol.

nikola zolkiewska - smoothness - didn't hit on this one until i got to the editing process, but it made perfect music to edit the "nyrys" scenes to. it's very sad and intimate, which fits the mood, until, you know. and uh, for the "you know" scene? total silence. just so we're clear.

philip steele - another rain - for the beginning of chapter 8, after lucanis has been brought to his lowest and is being affected by the desperation demon. i've loved this song for many years, and i actually had a spotify playlist with nothing but covers of it, but this one seem to match the mood i wanted the most.

hans zimmer & lorne balfe - love and ashes - another one from the game. this is actually what i listened to while writing spite and lucanis's...mind meld? flashback? after spite kisses him (in a very buffy/faith way...check the fifth gif) to snap him out of the desperation demon's hold. the flashbacks from spite's pov, the reveal that he cannot leave lucanis's body, and his stopping lucanis from committing suicide were one of the first parts of this fic i dreamed up (along with the assault scene), and it just so happened that i was dreaming them up in the 40-minute car ride to and from work, and the dragon age soundtrack was what i was playing on loop. the lucanis/spite relationship may not be overtly romantic in this fic (though it probably will get closer to that in the sequel), but this is, to me, more or less a confession scene: it is when lucanis and spite realize they love each other. i got myself pretty choked up writing it!

marlene t - safe & sound (piano version) - i happened to come across a fanvid with a piano cover of this song in it right as i was writing the dream with illario in it during chapter 8. i'm not sure if this is the same cover, but it has the same vibe. definitely misted over writing this scene too; this is such a warm, tender song, which is how lucanis thinks of illario, who he misses so badly...And Yet.

henry jackman - fury - is it my fault the w*nter s*ldier soundtrack fucks? not only can i tell you that this song is what plays when lucanis opens his eyes, fights off the venatori, and flies to the artifact, i can tell you that in the movie in my mind, the wings flap open right after the drop at 1:56. it's got such great rising tension, it's so action-y, it's the perfect tone to take us out of that emotional dream sequence.

hams zimmer & lorne balfe - sea of blood - theee iconic lucanis theme song, this does of course play in his intro in the game, so it's what i listened to while writing him being dragged to the crystal prison and escaping it to finally meet rook.

nima fakhrara - crossroads (connor) - another slightly embarrassing choice. i am a little biased by, unfortunately, being familiar with the game and soundtrack this song is from (and i have quite a few more ambient songs from it on my very big general writing playlist - mixed feelings on the game but NOT on the music), but it plays in an incredibly tense moment where a character has to make a huge choice with high stakes, and the preceding conversation has another person basically talking him down off a ledge. this is more or less what happens to lucanis after he stops the elevator and accuses rook of being zara, so it fits perfectly. rook and neve have to talk him down from the very justifiable fit of crazy he's having so he doesn't just kill them all before they can escape. it was a scene that gave me a LOT of trouble, but well worth it - it wound up being one of my favorites.

amtrac - intermission - i listened to this while writing both the first and final scenes of the last chapter - the scene where lucanis recalls the warning he gave zara, and the promise illario and he made to each other, and the scene where he watched the ossuary slowly shrink into the distance until it's gone forever. the quiet anticipatory feeling of this song makes it one of my all-time favorites.

birdy - keeping your head up - if this fic was a movie, this would be the credits song. spite literally kept lucanis's head up, and now they're out! i'm picturing the credits rolling over the iconic treviso skyline as the rowboat shrinks slowly into the distance, lol.

[certifiedmaidenlessblog]

Okay literally nobody asked but since I am procrastinating AND restless:

My final thoughts/ranking of the Eternal mini:

(warning this is a full on yap sesh and I have next to no knowledge of music except for the very basics feel very very free to ignore)

1. Deja vu: I have feelings for this song. So gorgeous, dreamy and ethereal. Smiling so big because this song exists blah blah. Anyway the way I thought this song would be #chillvibes from the album preview snippet but then it turned out to be #nochill kajskajsj even tho there is definitely a lethargic quality to the song. I was so gagged but despite the tables turning on me I loved it immediately. Also the very random (but very well incorporated) tabla in the bridge? Slay. Initially I was mad that this wasn't the tt but with all the melodrama and orchestral arrangement, it has a similar vibe to guilty so I get it. But this song is ten fold of what guilty wanted to be (to me, that is). And I think this song remaining as a b-side to be occasionally performed instead of it being dragged through the promotional cycle and losing all the weight and impact of the song is a good choice too (the song itself is not very promotion cycle friendly either). I can't wait to see what the choreo looks like.

2. Horizon: Very kibumcore as a lot of people have also said, I think so too!! A very unexpected sound for a taemin song but he delivered sooo well. I do wish the song was longer tho. Don't know what being the second title track on this album means as of now but it's worthy of the position I'm sure.

3. Crush: Extremely shineecore! A cute and funky little number! Got me moving! The layers in the instrumentals are neat. I got exactly what was promised on the album preview. Well executed. No other notes. Other than the funky vibe there isn't really any standout element so I might get bored of it quickly tho.

Can't decide between ranks 4 and 5 so I'm calling it a tie.

4/5. Sexy in the air: I definitely should have let my brain soak this in a bit more before complaining about it cause now I literally can't stop listening to it helpppaksnakms cause Damn... This is crazy. What am I gonna do now?? Jaksjksks My first ranking for this song was literally second last (in a derogatory way) and now here we are. Also I held off from watching the mv first because I'm a very visual creature and I get easily swayed that way so I was trying to be #unbiased or whatever. I still think that the second verse is a bit meh, specially because of the English lyrics (i don't even know why I was so pissed off by the "turn me down" that was obviously supposed to be "turn me on", it wasn't even that serious 😭) but I was definitely being too harsh and it's not even as bad as I made it out to be and it doesn't stick out enough to get in the way of me enjoying the rest of the song. The switch up after the beat change is soooo good I've been obsessed with that part (the horny choreo definitely helps :D).

The good things about this song being the title track are: it's produced by dem jointz (the production is interesting and immaculate), the mastering of this song is better than most tracks on this album, it is performance oriented/friendly, both halves of the song are tied together so neatly that honestly the beat change doesn't even seem that unnatural even if it's shocking, tm devoured this track in a way that only he can, tm freak lore continues!!!! but most importantly it's bold!!! and it's a statement!!! (instead of playing it safe like he did with guilty imo lol, musically i mean). My only real grievance with this song is probably the fact that it wasn't allowed to go full freak nasty the way it was originally envisioned to be because we live in a society or whatever. Tm was moaning and groaning and saying fuck in the studio only for it to be muffled and be barely audible on the track. The dem jointz trademark of an addictive repeated word/phrase being distorted because otherwise tm would be put in horny jail fr (horny gay jail even because its so crazy that they had another man moaning on the track like skdkksksjdkd). Some of the lyrics being altered hastily (like "turn me down" ksjsjsks).This song being called sexy in the air instead of sex is in the air kajskaksksks. Sad. Because if anyone can pull off something like this without being cringe, it's tm. But it's okay I get it. Also notably this song has one of the veeery few ethical uses of that infamous bed creak sample (by ethical i mean relevant to the song at hand in a way that maximizes the slay of the song).

4/5. Say Less: Very pretty, short and sweet, could have been longer. A solid closer for this album and definitely stands it's own ground despite being on the track list after Deja vu. Which is lowkey a feat of its own. The instrumentals are infact drowning out his voice a bit but I don't think it bothers me as much as I had feared. Reminds me of Truth a bit.

6. The Unknown Sea: I don't have particularly strong opinions on ballads but I do generally only listen to ballads if I'm already super into the idol. And I do like most of the other ballads from tm. However. He's singing his ass off here but the vocal processing.... specially in the chorus his voice sounds very tinny. When I first heard the song I thought it wasn't that big of a deal but now it is definitely getting in the way of me enjoying this song. Beautiful bridge tho, definitely the highlight of the song for me.

7. G.O.A.T.: This instrumental is so fucking nasty I'm obsessedddd. Unfortunately the instrumental might just be the saving grace of this song. I went into this track thinking I was not even gonna be able to listen to this but thankfully it's not thaaaaaat bad. But we definitely need to get tm off his rapping agenda. Even after listening to this a bunch of times it's not sitting that well with me. (Which is crazy because after first listen I thought his voice was more well suited to GOAT than SITA???) I do understand that this song was meant to be a bit tongue in cheek like yeah the goat bleating sounds are hilarious in a good way but tm is Not giving the hardass aura that he thought he was going for and um. that's enough for me to be like :/ which is such a shame cause even the arrangement of this song is so interesting. But yeah whatever this track needed vocally is not in tm's strengths so. I'll wait for someone to upload the instrumental tho so that I can download it and play it with the rest of the album jksjsksksjsjs

I think it's a good choice to drop an album that's just him coming out swinging after such a drastic career altering decision. There's no more room for regrets or dilly dallying and he's confident. Which is a good thing. Because it definitely makes the statement he wants to make. The album as a whole is interesting, all the tracks differ from each other but that doesn't take away from the cohesiveness of the soundscape of the album. There is a clear logic in the way the tracklisting was done, the transition from one song to the next makes sense (even if I can't explain it properly).

That being said, yes the production and the mixing is a bit lacking (along with the other downsides of a low budget) but I don't think sm has songs like this in their vault anymore so... You win some you lose some idk.

Overall I do see this as a win. Yapping over and out.

[choking-on-dandelions]

any favorite vocaloid producers (or songs)

Producers, definitely Deco*27 is up there. So bouncy and fun yet also so melancholic and bittersweet. A good range of feels. Great range of songs if a bit melodically similar on certain tracks. Pinnochio-P was my focus for a minute not too long ago, excellent producer! Utsu-P is really good, love the intensity in their work! Vocaloid moshpit type music for sure, has intrigued random people who don't listen to Japanese music in my day-to-day life. Wowaka was one of the very first producers I stumbled upon back in the day before his passing (r.i.p. to a legend💔) and man, those songs, all that raw emotion, the way you don't even need to understand the words to feel that hole shatter through your heart midway through and in that moment the language barrier is totally irrelevant anyways, you suddenly just get it. Giga has a smooth cool hip-hop sound (I've really only listened to them within the last couple years admittedly), same with Syudou. GHOST and Creep-P are great spooky tune makers. But let's not forget to respect one of the forefathers of creepy Halloween-y vocaloid music, Machigerita-P.

I could go on and on for daysss and believe it or not, I'm still not done learning all there is to know! There's sooo many amazing Vocaloid producers that it would take forever to find them all. Obviously the most popular will be an easy search but the smaller more indie producers make some absolute BANGERS!

Favorite songs? Oho boy, strap in, have I got a list for you! You're gonna regret this, I promise you lol now don't worry this will only hurt a little ^o^

(My anthem dedicated to all my friends, new and old, near and far💖)

(It's a bop, Dasu rolls out banger after banger)

(Bad bitch energy on the dancefloor)

(A lot of regular people seem to like this one)

(Can sing this one nearly perfectly, friends fell in love at first sound then felt sad after seeing the lyrics)

(The song that broke my heart)

(The song that broke my heart pt 2 - The Tribute)

(WOAH OH OH WOAH-OH OH OHH)

(That into s l a p s though)

(Try not to dance, it's impossible)

Oh damn this is gonna be a huuuuge wall on everyone's dash now, SORRY GUYS!! Vocaloid is a long-time passion interest and I consider it a hugely defining part of my lore, I could literally talk about it for hours and hours and hours well into the next day if you give me the chance. If you're curious and want to know more and listen to more songs feel free to message me, I have an entire ever-expanding playlist! I'd love to share what I love with potential new fans!💖

Probably my favorite ask I've gotten so far on Tumblr, this made my entire afternoon! I hope it was half as fun for you, dear anon, as it was for me! Thank you so sweetly!💖💖

[quiet-nocturne]

answer your 30 questions please and thank you!!!

WOO. HERE WE GO, YA'LL:

ao3 wrapped [writers edition]

How many words have you written this year? Published? 22,685. Unpublished? A loooooot ahaha.

How many works did you publish this year? Currently, 3. Hoping to have 4-5 by christmas though. 👀

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? definitely cause i'm lovesick. That thing was a labor of love. My first fanfic baby in a loooong time.

What work of yours has the most hits? currently cause i'm lovesick (I ain't even ashamed), which is at 735 hits. But it's kind of biased, considering I only came back to fic writing in like october.

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? nothing in particular - I'm just happy to have any engagement!

Favorite title you used honestly, no favorite as of yet. All the titles I've used come from song lyrics that are super royai coded/important to me, so I like them all. That answer could definitely change in the future though!

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? most recently, taylor swift (hopeless, breathless, burning slow), but also banks (cause i'm lovesick and you're all that matters to me anyway - she's SO GOOD for angsty love songs). Lyrics are so, so important to me. I have a ~300 song royai playlist (which I'm going to slim down and post here at some point) that I listen to constantly, lol, and a huge notes file on my phone filled with potential song lyric titles. I have a music degree and it's literally so important to my writing process aajsaksjljasjl.

Pairing you wrote the most for this year? Royai. lol. That's not going to change any time soon. The extreme hyperfixation is REAL.

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? Again royai. They're the best. My babies. 💖

What work was the quickest to write? Surprising, chapter 2 of hopeless, breathless, burning slow. started it last night and i'm already nearly done the first draft. That thing flew out of me, especially considering chapter 1 was much more of a journey lol.

What work took you the longest to write? definitely chapter 1 of hopeless, breathless, burning slow. it wasn't the writing that was the issue - it was the editing. I really dragged my feet on it, and could have had that thing out like 2 weeks ago. 🤦‍♀️

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? oh god. my wip's currently include: - chapter 2 of hopeless, breathless, burning slow - sequel to cause i'm lovesick (I ain't even ashamed) - a christmas fic - angsty, hurt/comfort, character exploration, ishval restoration multi-chaptered fic (I'm REALLY excited to work on this!!! yay angst) - roy and riza returning to her old father's house post-cannon and STUFF HAPPENS, fluff, hurt/comfort, etc (also really excited for this one! i've been daydreaming about it for MONTHS. Even just thinking about this fic feels like sinking into a warm bath. That's the vibes I want it to give) - ANOTHER post-promised day fic, because I'm a broken record, but this time more humorous/cute. - aaaand yet another post-promised day fic, but one where Riza REALLY ISN'T DOING WELL/almost dies like a million times at the hospital and roy is sad (!!!). - briggs angst/sick fic - does that make sense? no? it will. Yeah. yeahhh. That list is only going to get bigger. 🤷‍♀️ Some of these will also, shockingly, not have smut lol.

What’s your longest work of the year? So far, ch. 1 of hopeless, breathless, burning slow at a whopping 9, 792 words. It really ran away from me.

What’s your shortest work of the year? mmm, you're all that matters to me anyway at 5,954 words. apparently I can't write anything below 5k lol. 🤷‍♀️

What WIP are you taking into next year with you? Oof, I mean probably most of what I had listed above. I aim to have some of it done - but it's already December 7th, so yeah.

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? Smut. lol.

Your favorite character to write this year? Surprisingly, Roy. I almost find him easier to write than Riza. Normally I don't enjoy writing from the male perspective. But Roy Mustang is just 🔥. I was so surprised lol.

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? No one, as of yet. But we'll see what I say once I start working more on the multi chaptered fics. 😬

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? More Royai, maybe with a dash of Roy/Maes. Maybe I'll try a bit of Ed/Winry? Who knows!

Which work of yours have you reread the most? chapter 1 of hopeless, breathless, burning slow. I am so fucking sick of it ahaha helppp.

How many kudos in total did you get this year? Currently at 142! You are all so sweet. 😭

Which work has the most comments? I think cause i'm lovesick at the moment!

Did you do any collaborative works this year? nope! Definitely something I'd consider doing in the future though!

Did you write any gifts this year? maybe! 👀 we shall see

Did you receive any gifts this year? nope!

What’s your most common category? ...Smut. lol. 🤷‍♀️

What do you listen to while writing? ahhhh I love talking about music with my ships! like I said, my ridiculously huge royai playlist. also all of my top songs on spotify were from it, which includes: 1. Say Yes to Heaven - Lana Del Ray (i've got my eye on you / i've got my mind on you) 2. Work Song - Hozier (no grave could hold my body down / i'll crawl home to her) 3. I Wanna Be Yours - Artic Monkeys (secrets i have held in my heart / are harder to hide then i thought / maybe i just wanna be yours) 4. Night We Met - Lord Horan feat. Pheobe Bridges (i had all and then most of you / some and now none of you / take me back to the night we met / i don't know what i'm supposed to do / haunted by the ghost of you) - that ishval restoration fic is definitely going to use a lyric from this song SOMEWHERE Honorable mentions: Die First - Nessa Barrett (someone dies or someone gets hurt / but if one of us dies / i hope i die first) Ya'aburnee - Halsey (i'll never know / if there's danger in confession / or it's memory that presses / like a blade against my throat / another word and i could choke / but what's worst? / tellin' you my feelings / or to die without revealing / that you got inside my head / and set a fire there instead?) Dress - Taylor Swift (there is an indentation in the shape of you / made your mark on me, a golden tattoo / all of this silence and patience / pining and anticipation / my hands are shaking from holding back from you) 10000/10, would play at royai's wedding.

Favorite work you wrote this year? cause i'm lovesick. Again, it was my baby. I loved writing it so much.

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? mmmm, probably: "She'd planned to stay angry at Mustang for longer, but then he'd surprised her by sauntering into her apartment basically the second his train had arrived, eyes blazing with desire as he collected her in his warm embrace, murmuring you have no idea how much I've been craving to taste you against the soft skin of her throat." (I tried to find one that was mostly sfw lol).

Biggest surprise while writing this year? Just being able to write, in general! It's been so much fun. 💖

[yousta]

Hi, you can call me Yume Yousta, or Jacob.

A little about me

I'm a 23-year-old warehouse worker residing in Indianapolis. I have aspirations in school, music, body improvement, and love.

Themes and things you'll see on this blog may include :

Obsessive/overprotective soft yandere/lovesick one-shots, and monologues. Poems and lyrics. Song recommendations. Personal vents, and rants, and ironic self-deprecating commentary.

Disclaimer: these scenes in no way depict real-life scenarios. Nor is it an endorsement of any extreme or violent behavior. All content here is made for people struggling to find love in this sick twisted world.

You've been through enough. Come in, I promise you're safe here.

Intro

Most of these expressions are just me speaking my love into the world. They aren't necessarily made for any one person in particular, (Mumbles) Well, maybe they are, just for you.

Yume as in if you put you and me together ❤️ (it's not supposed to be Japanese (even though I am a weeb)) Yousta is slang for Youster. A word passed down from my lineage of divine beings. It roughly translates to a very empathic and caring person.

So a little more about me..

I'm kind of all over the place, bouncing off the walls all disorganized. I apologize if it's hard to follow but I'll try my best.

Love

Taken to @your-thorn ❤️

School

I'm going to school for IT to hopefully get into some form of cybersecurity. Once I've made some money for myself, I'd like to go back and become a physical therapist or chiropractor. Mainly due to my interest in biomechanics and anatomy.

Hobbies

Music

I love love love music. I'd probably also consider being an audio engineer or some sort of performing musician as a career. It's my favorite pastime. I like to study and compose, as well as listen. I've been pretty into making digital music as of late, but I still play my keyboard and guitar.

Body improvement

I grew up with a wannabe bodybuilder brother. Lol which when I was younger, inspired me to get into the boxing gym. I'm not going to make it seem like I am or want to become something physically extraordinary like my brother, but I'm pretty fit as a result of growing up with him. I used to box but I got worried about my hands and brain. Now I just hit the gym.

Poetry and writing

I was never formally taught to write anything. If you have any tips, please

The dream

I just want a better life. For me, and my family. What's all this planning for? No short of world domination. Call me greedy because I do want it all. A mansion with my future darling, and our Yandere friends/family. It'd be so uptight. Everyone with laser focus and mutual respect. I've found so much light in being here, I really couldn't imagine living without you guys in my feed every day. So many of you I genuinely love from the bottom of my heart. It's what makes me happy, just seeing true love in the world.

Outro

Please be aware, that I've struggled with loneliness and even isolation throughout my life. This will affect how I interact so please verbalize any discomfort.

My mbti is ENFP-T

DNI list: anyone racist, transphobic, pedophiles, xenophobic, or anything mean cause it's only wholesome, soft, gentle, and nice vibes here 🥺🤚 oh and please don't DM unless 18+

Enjoy your stay, love you so much

[foundationsofdecay]

@biteration tagged me to post the 4 albums that i'm currently listening to the most! this was so difficult to narrow down, it's been a great year so far for both new releases and new discoveries so there's a lot of different albums i've been listening to.

sleep token - take me back to eden

this one is probably a pretty obvious inclusion lol but i've been listening to this nonstop since it came out. it's my go-to when i'm driving, or want to listen to music in general. both the instrumentals and the vocals are phenomenal here, and the lyrics in some songs in particular hit pretty hard. the final track has made me cry multiple times, which i mean in the most complimentary way possible.

haken - fauna

i know the cover looks like a reference to a certain nft but i promise it isn't haha. this one took a couple of listens to really process, a lot of prog albums can be that way for me tbh but like most haken albums i'm super into it now, there's no skip songs and you can jam to just about every track. there is a good mix of very prog-y songs (elephants never forget is my personal favorite) and some more standard structured ones, which helps break things up too.

none - damp chill of life

i'm not very plugged into the genre of depressive black metal, and i definitely have to be in the right headspace to get the most out of this one, but i'm a bit obsessed with this album and this band. it doesn't hold back at all in expressing bleakness and hopelessness and pain, but by the time the album ends, i find it to actually be cathartic and ultimately hopeful, or at least it brings a sense of determination, if that makes sense. the atmosphere here is desolate, but absolutely gorgeous.

pull down the sun - of valleys and mountains

for all my talk about take me back to eden that i've been doing since that dropped, no album since the dear hunter's act 5 has grabbed me so quickly and intensely as this one. one of the best prog/post metal albums i've ever heard. the band is based in aotearoa and has yet to really tour outside of there, so i don't know if i'll ever hear this played live, but i feel like that would be a transcendental experience.

i want to include some honorary mentions so bad but i will resist... tagging @malcriada, @videnoirs, @hollowburrow, and @gliscor if you'd like to do this!

[taffywabbit]

I've been thinking about this song a lot again since yesterday, and if you'll indulge me in being overly wordy and a bit sentimental, I kinda wanna share some of my thoughts here:

so I alluded to this a bit while rambling on bluesky earlier, but early in the process of composing this song I REALLY wanted it to have lyrics. I tried writing some, and having looked at them again this morning, frankly they're kinda garbage and I stand by my decision to scrap them and let the music just speak for itself. but I only really wanted to write lyrics in the first place because I got ONE specific line (and subsequently a chorus, or at least one version of it) stuck in my head and wanted the rest of the song to kinda revolve around it.

the scrapped verses were sorta loosely about how, when you're younger, you tend to have a very straightforward and simple sense of optimism and justice - kids generally believe that things WILL just work out somehow, and often have surprisingly obvious and on-point responses when they learn about societal issues, but adults will often talk down to them and tell them they just don't understand how the real world works yet. and as you get older, that optimism gets conflated heavily with childlike naivety and kinda gets metaphorically beaten out of a lot of people over time, until they're just kinda consigned to the status quo and thinking of societal problems being too large/permanent for them to fix or influence.

this song was meant to embody a sense of rebellious optimism - a stubborn belief that we have a say in the kind of world we live in, and furthermore that our inner child would never forgive us for shrugging and giving up now that we're finally Adults and Adults are supposed to be the ones with the power to actually Fix Things. it was meant to evoke some nostalgia too, sure - thus the title "Grass Stains", which came from the scrapped first verse about childhood, and also just the general musical style being reminiscent of pop punk music I really liked as a kid and still tend to associate with summertime and old video games from that era. but more than that, I wanted to convey the idea that, sooner or later, we have to stop waiting for the Adults to decide how to fix things and get a hand on the ball ourselves; the idea that growing up should empower us, not make us cynical and detached and too tired to care anymore.

anyways, I will spare you most of the unfinished lyrics because I really do promise they're not interesting or good at all, but here's the chorus part and the specific last line that I was really fixated on back then and (for reasons that are probably not hard to imagine) thinking a lot about again now:

you keep pacing

so sullenly facing

away from the task left to you

why can't you see it?

if you want hope, then be it

those gears aren't just going to move

you gotta change the world, before it changes you

so yeah. shit's rough out there right now. shit's been rough for a while and it's gonna continue being rough for the foreseeable future. like I mentioned in the original caption, i wrote this song when I was feeling pretty awful (both mentally and physically, actually - I'm pretty sure I had covid for the second time when I made this lol) and needed something to perk up my mood, and it... kinda worked honestly? and now when I listen to it again I still kinda get a boost from it, especially if I let myself think back to the original message I was trying to imbue it with. it's hard for me to feel totally hopeless or unmotivated while I'm listening to it, and I hope that energy sorta comes through for other people too (though I would obviously be just as happy that people like the music I made anyways, without deeper context or ideas attached to it).

I guess i just wanna say this: remember that the world's gonna change one way or another, but your contributions to it are never meaningless, and their absence would be felt. and you also have the power to embolden and support those around you to become a stronger force for good together. the only real way to fail in all of this is to give up and lay down and let whatever happens wash over you, to believe them when they treat you like you're too small to be a threat or a challenge. and even if you don't believe your efforts matter to anyone else, let them matter to you. if you want hope, then be it. strive to be a force for good in spite of all opposition, and that goodness will in turn continue to propel you forwards.

ok I think that's about as sappy I can stand to be, I'm going to bed lol

hey i finished a new song!! check it out!!

my prompt for starting this was essentially "i'm in a bad mood and i want to make music that'll fix that". apparently what that translated to was whatever genre "music that would make 9-year-old me think they could do a backflip off the swings at the park" is, but like... it DID cheer me up? so, mission accomplished? i hope you enjoy it too!

♫ made with OpenMPT! ✎ cover art by me!

[imsososolesbian]

So sorry for not replying beforehand. I've been unfortunately rather busy.

Hot damn, that's a good painting. Good for you for doing it on something that makes you happy. There's a reason I'm saying that but I won't go into the details for now.

I have not done statistical based math in a while, but being in the top 0.05 percent is very high.

Before I state my opinion and why I think the stylistics aspects of her music create a sense of nostalgia, I would like to preface this with out of all my friends, I am the one that knows the least about music history and theory. If I sound like an idiot or just repeat things you've heard before or realized yourself, I am sorry.

Personally the reason I think a lot of people find her nostalgic is because she’s been putting music out since 1960s.

Yes, her creating a music since the 1960s will make anyone nostalgic because they naturally associate her with another era. That's partially what I'm getting at actually. You can often times tell eras by the chord progress or composition of the songs that were common, or even the mic quality they used to record if you know about that. Dolly Parton's work are reminiscent of another era, ie the Outlaw Country era, which for many Westerners, or anyone from the entire American continent really, was their first exposure to country music if they didn't grow up with it. Not only that, if you add in the fact that many people associate heavy acoustic based compositions with nostalgic eras, you tend to get that nostalgic atmosphere that people tend to associate. Then you have to consider her lyrics as well, which many times are things that many people can relate to on some level. You manage to get this mix of composition that will evoke certain emotions, due to exposure and perhaps even social connotations depending on the person, and lyrics that are often tied to relatable experiences. Sorry if this sounds like bullshit, pardon my language, and bored you. My social battery ran out yesterday and has yet to recover so my brain is rather slow right now.

I love 9 to 5, it's such a funny film. It is an iconic film in so many ways. I don't really listen to any of the newer stuff for Country. I love Willie Nelson, Loretta Lynn and Johnny Cash. Patsy Cline and Glenn Campbell as well. I must admit I've only listend to a few songs by The Chicks, but I will try to listen to more of their music.

"it’s all about sex, look at this truck, I got a cowboy hat and let’s get drunk." That's exactly how I feel about new country. I don't know if you this man, but a comedian by the name Bo Burnham made a parody song mocking modern country and it is called the Country Song (Pandering). I suggest you give it a try, it sounds like most of country music nowadays.

-Forensics Anon

Totally didn’t take 12 hours to answer this… noooo way. Nope not me. Anyway sorry for the wait.

Thank you! I’m really proud of it. Honestly the best thing I did the whole semester and I’m a person with a picture of a steak and twiggy under my bed (this probably makes no sense but those are two other things I did artwork of that semester and they turned out… interesting)

Honestly never even heard of that type of math. I’m shit at math, but somehow riding out on a 91 in math. But I did listen to the song 203 times because I was gonna write a genlissa fanfic to it. Totally normal actives for me.

Not going to lie. I don’t even know what music theory is. I never was good at music. I know a tad bit about history of music. But the history I liked was different from music lol.

I may be a minor but I do have the mouth of a sailor no need to pardon your language. Promise. But yes I do agree, I think a lot of people’s first intro to country would have been hearing something like Jolene on the radio. But to be honest, I’m pretty sure the first country artists I listened to were the ones my grandma had cds of. I’ll always remember the Highwaymen, they had to be one of the firsts she showed me. I love the 21st century, what a great song.

I haven’t listened to much of Pasty Cline but being into country music I’ve heard a lot about her so I’ll give her a listen. Same with Glenn Campbell.

I have heard of him. I don’t think I enjoy his comedy acts, but I’ll be sure to give it a listen. Homely I’ll do so right now.

I hope this made sense

[missnobodymadness]

Have been listening to this banger and thinking about how these lyrics remind me of the Silent Slayers brothers, most people probably think about romance when listening to this song but what I love about music is that it is a form of art and art can have so many interpretations and for me, these lyrics describe very well their brotherly bond and Ushiva's unmatched loyality to his brother.

I see this song coming after they watch their adoptive brother getting killed by another coalition, who was made of adult lions on their prime (I've wrote about that part of their story here), so basically when they are more vulnerable but filled with rage and wishes of revenge and I kinda of imagine it as a musical in my head, kinda like the The Lion King movies, when they start singing. LMAO

This is how I imagine how it would go, aka which part of the song each one of them would sing:

Rastakah singing: "My head is haunting me and my heart feels like a ghost I need to feel something, 'cause I'm still so far from home Cross your heart and hope to die Promise me you'll never leave my sideShow me what I can't see when the spark in my eyes is gone" Ushiva singing: "You've got me on my knees, I'm your one man cult Cross my heart and hope to die Promise you I'll never leave your side 'Cause I'm telling you, you're all I need I promise you, you're all I see 'Cause I'm telling you, you're all I need I'll never leave

So, you can drag me through hell If it meant I could hold your hand I will follow you, 'cause I'm under your spell And you can throw me to the flames I will follow you, I will follow you"

Rastakah singing: "Come sink into me and let me breathe you in I'll be your gravity, you be my oxygen So dig two graves, 'cause when you die I swear I'll be leaving by your side" ___

And I don't know, I get really emotional every time I listen to this song now. LOL

[tacoma-narrows]

hitting you with the 6 24 30 for the music askgame grins

[ask game for anyone who wants to send more of these]

6: A song that makes you want to dance

All My Friends by Owl City! A lot of other Owl City enjoyers really don't like this song since it's so different from all of his other stuff (and I agree that having it be the first song released off of Cinematic probably wasn't the best move) but the positive energy it has is absolutely infectious and it just makes me wanna get up and dance around my room any time I listen to it!

24: A song by a band you wish were still together

Absolutely none of you are gonna be surprised by this one. Let It Go by Beat Crusaders! Of course, BECR is my top pick for a band that I wish was still together. Yeah, the band's former lead, Toru Hidaka, now has a new band called The Starbems, but most of their stuff isn't really my style. Anyways, Let It Go is my favorite BECR song because of the tremendous energy it has. Much like All My Friends, it makes me wanna move around to the music a whole lot lol

30: A song that reminds you of yourself

Pep Talk by Abandoned Pools is the most "Me" song I've ever come across, in that I feel I relate to it and it's message more than basically any other. It's lyrics of how somedays you just really don't feel like yourself and need a pep talk to get back on track. That even if things feel hard or impossible, remember that you're just getting started and will make it to brighter, easier days. It sort of ties into my soft spot for songs that have a message of "I'll always be there for you, I promise" (see Garden by Meet Me @ The Altar, or From Long Sleep, also by Abandoned Pools) but in a different kind of way. It's more of a self-reminder to be there for yourself rather than the message coming from someone else. I've had a very tumultuous last 4 years or so, going through a lot of self-discovery, and Pep Talk has really connected with me through all of that journey. I'm not who I was 4 years ago, and I still have a ways to go, but I won't forget how I got here and that I'm just getting started.

[meat-wentz]

Could you maybe give me some band recommendations I need a second band to obsess over lol

oh my gosh yes

these are kind of on constant rotation throughout my life:

dear and the headlights- hey listen do you ever wanna get punched in the fucking chest by a band that only has two albums and can lyrically slap you in the face with the most yearning you've felt ever in your life probably? then dear and the headlights is the band for you, these guys sound like they lost their virginity in a field in michigan and never got over the heartbreak of it all. midwesty sounding post-emo (despite being from arizona). both albums are some of my fave albums ever.

electric six- camp as fuck, the campest band, so fucking fun with real sick tunes. dick valentine frontman of ever. great videos. rock and roll and sexy sex and songs that make you feel what it must be like to be a handsome penis probably. fire is my fave album it's just full of wall to wall bangers.

bayside- i don't nearly see enough bayside appreciation as i thought i would on here, but bayside is just oh my god they're the most "cooler older brother" emo band out there they make me feel like i need to fucking punch drywall and get drunk off shitty beer in a garage and start yellin and they legit did not have to go that hard on the video for devotion and desire, i think about those hot nuns on the daily. my personal fave albums are bayside, acoustic, the walking wounded, and sirens and condolences.

bright eyes- man conor really just does it for me. always has always will. fave albums are lifted and fevers and mirrors.

pierce the veil- i will occasionally see ptv appreciation on the dash which makes my whole heart soar. i love ptv. they don't miss. every album is a banger, their new album is a banger. i would literally throw my whole body in front of a moving vehicle for jaime. literally have never gotten over so many ptv lyrics like "i'm gonna tear out the thread one by one from your skin till your bones feel embarrassed from all the attention." bruh. fave albums are selfish machines, collide with the sky, and the jaws of life.

the bluetones- my babies i want to hold them i want to cradle them i am obsessed with them. this is music to stare out car windows to for all occasions and emotions. fave albums are return to the last chance saloon and science & nature. (the basement song, sleazy bed track, if, autophilia or how i learned to stop worrying and love my car are all songs that make me feel inexplicable).

anyways here's some more on rotation:

brandston

braid

the promise ring

skating polly

failure

be your own pet

metric

tricot

fall of troy

speedy ortiz

fountains of wayne

jawbox

joyce manor

the replacements

the rapture

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Hi there, Bababird!!! Hope you're doing well 💗💗💗 Mayyybe 🎵 for Cassandra if you have any? I love how you've written her in your Sparrow/Cass fic btw - I still think about it an unhealthy amount dbfkhabfskhbs. And since the fandom on tumblr has collectively agreed that it's his day, mayhaps a 🎵 for Hermie as well hehe :]c

aw shucks she called me Bababird hehe Hi Happi!!! Thank you- I hope you're doing well too! I *definitely* have some for Cassandra! 😅 For better or for worse though a lot of them are either in the context of Cass/Sparrow or Cass/Nicky- so apologies in advance for any rambles I go on about either of those two ahaha I promise in either case things will eventually wrap around to being about Cass (and songs)!

Also, if you'll humor me, I don't think I'll be able to help myself but ramble a bit about the fic as well- it's just an easy way to talk about how I see Cassandra! 💜 ^_^* I'm very very flattered that you enjoyed her that much! You know at first I was maybe gonna do thing's from Sparrow's POV but then I was like- "PFF, fuck that, let's try to figure out what's going on in Cassandra head!"- it's the least she deserves, really.

And I know I'm too late for his "b-day", but I do have some Hermie songs as well! Mostly in the context of Oakworthy though ahaha... Those will be at the end! Edit: actually just the one this time around aha sorry I got lazy

(*slaps post* this baby can fit so many tangents! Sorry in advance for how stupid long this is!)

Okay *well*, let's start with a simple one that's just about Cass yeah? I can't say I've listened to much of their music in general, but "That's My Girl" by Fifth Harmony is *definitely* a Cassandra song for me!

There are a few lyrics in this one that standout for me in this one- but honestly it's also just the general vibe. I see Cassandra as someone who's very independent and hardworking, and also someone very capable of continuing to move forward in spite of hardships and "roll with the punches", so to speak (and Taylor definitely gets this from her hehe for sure for sure). Really the more I think about Cassandra, she's kind of a fucking badass LOL. Splitting from Nicky didn't stop her from staying on top of career all the while maintaining probably one the (if not the) healthiest of parent-child relationships in the show with her son, and really I just love that for her.

That said, for a few standout lyrics...

Yeah, who's been working so damn hard? You got that head on overload? // You've been down before. You've been hurt before. You got up before. You'll be good to go, good to go. // Get mad independent and don't you ever forget it // Nod if you've been played by every boo just tryna show you off. Thought he was the best you ever had, until he cut you off. // ain't nothin (x3) put your heart and your soul in it!

(also *points at Cassandra* that's my girl!!!)

ok ok next again if you'll humor me, I need to ramble about Sparrow for a bit in the context of the fic so that I can then ramble about Cassandra LOL.

So, ok, firstly I must confess that like, for me, I tend to read canon Sparrow as allo-aro (alloSparo? Maybe just Sparo... heh). Less popular of an opinion still is that I actually quite like that for him haha. And so for *me*, in the fic, he's prolly like aro and demisexual? That said, I know that ace Sparrow (Sparoace, Space- you get me it's funnier to do it this way) is very dear to many of you (which tbh I super understand), most especially the people who I most wanted to read the fic! So... I wanted to write something that was compatible with both interpretations? Not as a burden! I liked the challenge of trying to write something that was *sensual* but not inherently *sexual* (and in that regard... I think I did an *ok* job aha I'm sure there are certain parts that might be pushing it for some people but I had to be honest with myself about what I wanted to write too!)

Of course, as *you* know Happi, I'll still gladly drop aromantic Sparrow for a ship that tickles my fancy (and in fact I actually like these two in a romantic context as well even if it's not my default/preference- but that's for someone else's ask lol)... 😤But I was keen on keeping things platonic for this fic! Sure because I like that for Sparrow, but actually... It also had a lot to do with what I wanted to explore with Cass!

(Somehow this post is about Cass *and music* I SWEAR)

Right right right so- as far as canon goes I think it's fair to say that Cassandra is sexually and romantically a lot less ambiguous than Sparrow right- and so, well based on the little we have seen of her I get the impression that Cassandra has probably gotten fairly accustomed to a pretty "standard" kind of partnership style? And for a number of reasons... 😤 It seems she's struggled to find someone who can give her the level of commitment she deserves! Otherwise, based on her relationship with Willy (ew yucky Willy), I also feel like she might have a bit of a tendency to rush into things a bit.

Enter QPR with Sparrow! As I see it, this puts Cassandra especially in a very interesting situation. She's navigating forms of intimacy that are pretty foreign from what she's used to! To love someone... Without being *in love* with someone, per se. She gets the commitment she wants, but in a form that is unquestionably different from how she's always imagined it. Physically, there's room for intimacy (be it to one degree or another)... But she has to work up to/for it this time around, no more rushing into things!

But I see Cass as someone who is always up for a challenge. I think the novelty of these ideas is something that she would find exciting in its own right, and really she's someone who goes after what she wants at the end of the day. Not without her own insecurities I'm sure, which hopefully I got across! (And again, yeah, I definitely think Taylor takes from her in a number of ways haha).

SO ALL OF THAT SAID

"She had the world" from Panic! At the Disco is *also* a Cassandra song for me 😌

That was waaay too much lead in for a fucking patd song, honestly Happi I'm really abusing this opportunity to talk about Cass and the fic LOL

But ok ok, so with the above points in mind, this one for me is about Cass... From (an aromantic) Sparrow's perspective, and it's hard to explain exactly what I mean for this one, but yeah it's like- there's kind of this mix of insecurity and admiration and I guess... How to put this, on Cass' end she has to let go of the things she's come to take for granted a bit, and on Sparrow's end I think some fears that this kind of relationship won't be enough for her? Let me just give you the important lyrics hahaha:

She held the world upon a string, but she didn't ever hold me. Spun the stars on her fingernails, but it never made her happy, cause she couldn't ever have me // I don't love you I'm just passing the time. You could love me if I knew how to lie. But who could love me? I am out of my mind. Throwing a line out to sea to see if I can catch a dream. // But that girl had so much love. She'd wanna kiss you all the time. Yeah, she'd wanna kiss you all the time. // She said she'd won the world at a carnival. But I'm sure it didn't ruin her, it just made her more interesting.

OKAY that was a looooooong tangent for that one I hope like it sort of makes sense why I associate that one with her???

Finally Nicky, I'll make this much shorter lol. I'm not sure how people feel about these two in general, but I actually *love* them together tbh, and I hope we learn a bit more about their relationship (er what it was) in canon at some point! Still, everything I said about Cass probably being the type to rush into things probably applies here too, and ultimately I imagine that these two likely had a relationship that was... passionate, and intense, and exciting, but maybe not what either of them really needed in the long run.

So funnily enough

The song is actually called "Nikki", by Forever the Sickest Kids. And, well I think you'll catch my drift with a lot of these lyrics and why it makes me think of them so much aha:

He was the man of every hour. He was a party all alone. He'd give his jacket to a stranger in the cold. She was the beauty queen from Dallas. She could put a lion on a leash. And before he knew himself, she knew the man that he could be. // It's alright Nikki, it's alright, baby, you can let you hair down. // She was an angel craving chaos. He was a demon seeking peace. But they were each other's toxic cure called codependency.

And yeah! So yeah there's a lot of lines in that song that makes me think of them- more than the ones I listed here but for me these are kinda the standouts?

ok ok ok I made this post waaaaaaay too long Happi I'm so sorry ahahaha thank you for entertaining my thoughts I hope some of this makes sense??? I have a lot of feelings about Cassandra but they can be hard to convey!

Also, I'm starting to get a bit lazy, so I hope you'll forgive me if I leave you with my favorite song for Hermie (and well Oakworthy) without much of an explanation. Which is

"A guy that I'd kinda be into" from the musical Be More Chill :]

I think this one is *very* funny for both of them- especially cause of how many of the lyrics you could read as both Normal and Hermie's POV? If you haven't heard this song, go listen and I think you'll understand.

[catboysooyoung]

🛒✨🎶💌 ! and, are there any elements that you’d like to incorporate into your fics and writing that you haven’t yet (for reasons of time/opportunity)?

Omg sorry I am just answering this now. I didn't think I'd get any asks... And sorry this got Very Long. I'm an incredibly self-obsessed person who loves Being Asked Things About Myself.

Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

Oh hm, let's break this into parts.

Themes:

Grief/longing, haunting as part of that, difficult family relationships, love but not in the way it matters

Feels

Somberness, intimacy, despair, fear

Scenes

Quiet moments between characters where they don't say anything, but let the silence speak for them as they try to understand one another. <- not great at writing dialogue

Cooking: someone cooking for another person or someone eating someone else's cooking, shopping for cooking materials. etc.

Someone looking out the window or something similar

Imagery

I'm actually not sure about this one, I guess I make a lot of references to the night and the sea, and also like blood and guts. I think it's stuff with internal organs after all? Or maybe I just like the imagery of things coming apart. Usually they involve the body in some way. Escape or wistfulness or fear and danger are usually portrayed through the waves or the night atmosphere. Or something. Sorry, I'm not a lit major so I can't really. word it much better than this. I am also lost. If anyone's ever read a number of my works, maybe they can tell me lol.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

Ughhh this is so hard because I'm a very harsh critic on myself, but I guess it's cool that I'm like, trying hard or whatever. I may not write as much this days, but the few odd pieces of poetry and such do come out okay-ish even if they also look like something that can be written much better by like, 14 year olds or something and are also super angsty with no substance. It's like, cool that I can somewhat implement some stuff I've learned be it through theory books (which I've not finished.) or through assimilation from reading other works. Like woo I'm not super horrible at studying, or whatever. I've also been told my writing is pretty "evocative" and "emotive" so I guess it's probably true? I do write a lot of my feelings. And I actually do like how... filler-y all my works feel, how meandering they are. I know nothing about film, but I always think of my writing in terms of like, directing, as in how do I want these scenes to play out? And I know not a lot of people like this sort of writing style, but I do...... Maybe I won't write anything of substance or whatever, but I can write pretty things to please myself or something.

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

Not really. I have something wrong with me so I can't really listen to most music when trying to write, because I'm easily influenced by the words being sung or I'd get distracted by the melody. I think I only listen to like, classical arrangements or white noise whenever I try to write. Because otherwise, my brain would be thinking of the lyrics instead of what I'm trying to write. It's the same thing with like, people speaking around me. When I can't fully tune it out, I end up... being too focused on the conversations around me and not on my actual writing lol.

As for what I've been playing on loop.... I'm told it's I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by MCR LMAO.

💌 How do you feel about comments and feedback?

I love comments and feedback!! I always get so amazed whenever I get them because it's like, wow, you people actually care enough about my work to read it and show me what I can do to improve it??? It always feels surreal to me, I always go back to my comments section whenever I feel like shit to make myself feel better. Even the simplest comments make me happy... I get excited just by knowing people out there are seeing the stuff I put out...

But well, of course I'm also a bit wary sometimes when it comes to getting beta'd because I'm bad at not taking concrit personally and also because I constantly feel the need to be shaped by every input, like I have to follow everything to the letter, but I'm... slowly working on that lol..

Are there any elements that you’d like to incorporate into your fics and writing that you haven’t yet (for reasons of time/opportunity)?

Oh there are so, so many things I want to incorporate into my fics and writing, but I feel so, so terribly inadequate in both my skill level and my time to execute them properly:

childcare/childrearing

genuine, solid horror

sweet romance that's genuine and not one-sided or boring. And also good steamy scenes. I'm bad at these because I'm chronically bitchless and also evil and bitter and have issues.

comedy

more solid worldbuilding

better dialogue

more intricate prose

EFFICIENCY!!! I want to be able to be concise while still conveying a lot....

Sorry if I'm not getting this question right, btw fskdjfdsf

ANYWAY. THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE ASK ANON <3

[freezethebeez]

doing them all rn because i'm crZy

1. What’s your favorite character(s) to write for? as of rn c!Tommy and c!Ranboo (+ghostboo because the angst potential is just *chefs kiss*) 2. What character(s) do you find the most difficult to write for? Why? any characters that i don't know much about & any characters who aren't aroace-coded because i am a very Canon Compliant person and if they're not aroace-coded then my aroace ass doesn't know what to do with them. 3. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter? okay from my published fics: the scene where Sapnap stabs Dream in Promises Unbroken, and the scene in It's All so Incredibly Loud where Quackity is having a lil flashback to when he killed Techno. and from my unpublished fics: literally any and every scene from the Claire's Employee Ranboo Fic and every scene from chapter 3 of Dépaysement (which I will eventually finish editing pls just let me procrastinate a little bit longer). 4. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of [Fanfic Name]? SOOOO MANY FOR SYZYGY OMG basically the authors note covers all of the things that didn't make the cut. Honourable Mentions include: beeduo dying at the end of Syzygy, and Dream actually going through with his threat to Tommy in My Little Dove (i decided that one was a little Too Fucked Up) 5. Do you listen to music when writing? YES YES YES YES 6. If you listen to music when writing, what were you listening to when writing [Fanfic Name]? okay Uh mostly classical music for Syzygy, Honey I'm Home for If a Tree Falls in a Forest, Rises the Moon for Of Warm Snowflakes and Home, Leni by Crystal Casyles for I Will Love Her and From the Grave, Misery Meat for My Little Dove, and Memoir #2 for in conclusion :smile: 7. What story/headcanons do you feel the proudest of? c!emeraldduo qpr, most of my characters being aroace, c!techno and c!phil nursing c!tommy back to health after exile, c!techno telling c!tommy stories to help him sleep during bedrockbros days, c!techno's lifetime transcending much further than just the dsmp (smpearth, his skywars/bedwars days, etc.) c!ranboo only joining the butcher army because he thought c!tubbo was pretty and he wanted to be around him more. + more that i cannot list here or this would become the longest text post known to tumblr. 8. Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi chaptered stories? one shots are wayyyy easier to write for me because i have a short attention span but honestly multi chartered fics have grown on me because you can develop more of a story and just get the option to use more literary elements which is cool i think :D 9. If you had to assign a theme song to [Fanfic Name], which would you assign? Honey I'm Home by GHOST for If a Tree Falls in a Forest because that's literally all i listened to while writing it and i based a lot of the story on the lyrics + it's just a really good song 10. What is the line you’re proudest of from [Fanfic Name]? i've got a couple i think (both from unpublished fics lol) uh so there's: "They were a mess, a whirlwind of untangling love, soulmates being dragged apart by the filth of human hands and sharp words, regardless of how hard the stars tried to keep them connected." And also: "It would sound of piano strings snapping, of comets colliding, of universes being torn apart by the rage of the gods themselves." yeah :D 11. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc) hmm i've never really thought about this one tbh (i just place my fingers on the keyboard and let them dance around for a bit and hope they make coherent sentences) but i'd have to say probably action driven because when i plot out a story it's all character's actions that affect everything. an example of this would be Syzygy– if Schlatt hadn't decided to send out an assassin to kill Niki, literally nothing would have happened. (so in that case would it also be emotion and character driven??? idk i've literally never even considered this question). 12. Who is your favorite author? bunflower, zeeskeit, thcscus (blujamas), and

bellamees, all on ao3. i really like their writing styles and plot and their characters and WOO very good authors mhm 13. When did you start writing fanfic? i think i was around 2015-ish. i started writing in books with pencil and paper before bed and then i got wattpad and went WILD. 14. How do you feel about your older work? uhh not great tbh. i have about 2 works left on wattpad from like 2018 that aren't horrible?? but that's because they're just so poorly written to the point where you can't even criticize them. my older fics on ao3 aren't too horrible either, i just don't like them because i don't feel like they represent me anymore. any fics that come from before 2021 are fics that i wrote before i realized i was aroace, and i really tried to force myself to write romantic stuff even though i literally Did Not Understand It. i feel a little better about my writing now because i feel like it's more authentically me :) 15. What is the fanfic you’ve written that you’re most proud of? again, Syzygy. took like 3 months but it was the best 3 months of my life: waking up and immediately writing all summer Yippe!!! 16. What fanfic tropes do you avoid writing for? Bad Parent Phil Watson, SBI but they're Literally Family, and any au's that aren't Royalty or Vampires. i write stories that i want to read, so i tend to stay away from things that aren't really to my taste. not saying any of the tropes listed above are bad, it's just that i'm not a fan of them. 17. What fanfic tropes do you gravitate to writing for? Royalty and Vampire au's, Hurt No Comfort (which is weird because i personally prefer Hurt/Comfort), anything angsty tbh, Canon Compliant (this is a big one. if i'm not writing an au i'm writing canon complaint. and if i am writing an au, i am finding a way to slip some canon compliant details into the characters and plot any chance i can get). 18. Do you prefer editing as you write, or waiting until it’s finished? waiting until it's finished, unless, of course, i'm rereading before starting another writing session just to get caught up on the Lore, in which case i'll fix any mistakes i find. 19. What words do you think you tend to use the most? 'slightly', 'as', 'said', 'ached', 'murmured', & more!! 20. What feedback makes you the happiest to hear? anything that relates to my writing style and characters. i love talking about my stories sm so when someone comments something about a plot point or how a character reacted for something i do a little internal happy dance :D 21. Is there an idea you’ve always wanted to write, but haven’t yet? c!Foolish trying to make c!Eret immortal but ending up wiping their memory in the process. i've been meaning to write it for AGES but just haven't got around to it. (more recently, though, c!Puffy and c!Niki gay pirates would be fun too). 22. Do you enjoy making OCs for your fanfics, or prefer sticking to canon characters? sticking to canon characters. i'm not a very creative person so i think trying to make an OC would make my brain explode (it would also just be me except everything is slightly hyperbolized). 23. How much do you stick to canon? as much as i can. i mostly write DSMP rn which has lore that's SO HARD to keep up with. i'll do as much research as i can because i crave validation from the people who DO know what's going on. i'll deviate a little from time to time for minor creative purposes, but that's about it (ex: in in conclusion, Dream has escaped from prison and is looking for tommy, tommy relies on phil; that is canon. tubbo getting blackout drunk? not so much). so i'd say a solid 94% 24. Do you prefer AUs with the characters, or sticking to the original universe? uh i'm not 100% sure what this is asking but i'm not a big fan on mixing things like harry potter and bts (ik there's a lot of those au's like that out there). i tend to like to keep things to their original universe, unless it's an au that's ambiguous like royalty au's (because i'm not about to write a fanfic about the Queen Of England lmao) 25. What scene in [Fanfic Name] took

the longest to write? What was difficult about it? the scene in which Tommy is thinking about his time with Technoblade in From the Grave. it took so long because i didn't know how to fit it into the story smoothly and almost got rid of it completely because it just Wasn't Working the way i wanted it to. i left it in anyway though because if i had taken it out i also would have had to remove another key part of the story so i just threw it in and went "yeah okay let's hope this doesn't break the flow too much" (spoiler alert: it broke the flow a fair amount, i don't like it) 26. Are titles for your stories easy to come up with? for the most part yeah. i've got a pretty good system i think: PICK SONG THAT RELATES TO FIC or THINK OF A FUNKY SUMMARY EXCEPT YOU HAVE A 3-5 WORD LIMIT 27. What time of day do you prefer to write? either right after i wake up or right before i go to sleep. Syzygy is the only exception (i wrote all day almost every day it was NUTS) 28. Is there a part of [Fanfic Name] you’re surprised no one has picked up on yet? i'm not sure if people picked up on this one but in Syzygy at the start of chapter 2 Ranboo is very clearly afraid of death but near the end he doesn't really care what happens to him. that's a little silly of me i think. 29. What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc) anything except editing. i despise editing because it's 50/50. i either hate what i wrote or love it. all the other stuff is fun because i just get to let the brain turn off and kinda go with the flow, but when i have to edit i actually have to THINK and READ and that's Not Fun (a little ironic, sure, but the Writing Demon that possesses me when i write is a quirky little guy and i'd like it if it stayed a little longer) 30. Do you write down all your ideas? What makes you decide to write one versus the other? i write down all of my Good Ideas. they all go to twitter dot com in the form of a thread on my private account. when it comes to picking which one i'll Actually Write, i usually pick the ones that i have the most developed ideas for. basically the more scenes i have already planned out the more likely i am to actually write them fully. 31. What was the development process of [Fanfic Name] like? the development process of Syzygy was funny because i actually started with the scene in chapter 6 where ranboo and tubbo are having a picnic in the forest. i wrote the idea down on twitter, took screenshots of the thread, sent them to a groupchat with some friends and jokingly said "now what if they were enemies". my friend told me that was an awesome idea and all of a sudden the story unfolded right in front of me. it was kinda cool how it all just exploded out at once. had a whole epiphany for that one (hasn't happened again though LOL) 32. What story do you think showcases your signature style the most? either Promises Unbroken or in conclusion. they're both angsty but also very sweet :] 33. Have you ever stopped yourself from writing something? Why? i was originally going have beeduo actually fall in love ROMANTICALLY in Syzygy but it just didn't feel right with the pacing and how the story was going so i just decided they should have a queerplatonic relationship instead. why did i do this? aroace moment. 34. Have you felt emotional while writing a scene before? What scene was it? there's a few bits in I Will Love Her that got me a little emotional but i think that's because it's a vent fic. there were also a few scenes in in conclusion (especially the scene where Tommy's about to throw the wine bottle into the lake and has a brief moment of reflection of beeduo's wedding. that whole scene is just so bittersweet and it made me tear up a little ngl) 35. Where’s your favorite place to write? my room. i get anxious writing anywhere else. 36. What fanfic of yours has the symbolism you’re proudest of? the fic is currently unpublished but there's one in which i use a lot of physical objects like fire and ice and stars and clouds and smoke

and all that Yeah i thought that was pretty cool :D 37. Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story? probably not. i dont really know how it would work and i also work better alone lol. 38. What story of yours are you surprised that people liked as much as they did? looking at my ao3 stats: Risking it All. it's my 2nd most popular fic hits-wise by a VERY CLOSE MARGIN and i don't know why because it's literally just 2 characters hugging for like 3k words and it's a little sad like WHAT MADE YOU PEOPLE READ THAT???? IT'S SO DRYYY 39. What area of writing do you feel strongest in? angst. but not the cheap stuff where character dies and is sad. no. i want misunderstandings and awkward scenarios and two people are so broken and they're trying to hard to fix each other but just Never in the Right Ways. i want flashbacks to happier days that just make the current Sad one's feel even worse. i want Wasted Potential, i want lingering bitter feelings of What Once Was, i want nostalgia of better days, i want YEARNING. i want the shit that's realistic and hits you where it HURTS. 40. What area of writing do you want to improve in? all of it. absolutely all of it. i see so many amazing authors all the time and their fics give me gender envy but for writing style. *stares directly at zeeskeit*

fanfic writer asks.

1. What’s your favorite character(s) to write for? 2. What character(s) do you find the most difficult to write for? Why? 3. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter?  4. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of [Fanfic Name]?  5. Do you listen to music when writing?  6. If you listen to music when writing, what were you listening to when writing [Fanfic Name]? 7. What story/headcanons do you feel the proudest of?  8. Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi chaptered stories? 9. If you had to assign a theme song to [Fanfic Name], which would you assign?  10. What is the line you’re proudest of from [Fanfic Name]?  11. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc) 12. Who is your favorite author?  13. When did you start writing fanfic?  14. How do you feel about your older work?  15. What is the fanfic you’ve written that you’re most proud of?  16. What fanfic tropes do you avoid writing for? 17. What fanfic tropes do you gravitate to writing for?  18. Do you prefer editing as you write, or waiting until it’s finished?  19. What words do you think you tend to use the most?  20. What feedback makes you the happiest to hear? 21. Is there an idea you’ve always wanted to write, but haven’t yet?  22. Do you enjoy making OCs for your fanfics, or prefer sticking to canon characters?  23. How much do you stick to canon?  24. Do you prefer AUs with the characters, or sticking to the original universe?  25. What scene in [Fanfic Name] took the longest to write? What was difficult about it?  26. Are titles for your stories easy to come up with?  27. What time of day do you prefer to write? 28. Is there a part of [Fanfic Name] you’re surprised no one has picked up on yet?  29. What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc)  30. Do you write down all your ideas? What makes you decide to write one versus the other? 31. What was the development process of [Fanfic Name] like?  32. What story do you think showcases your signature style the most?  33. Have you ever stopped yourself from writing something? Why? 34. Have you felt emotional while writing a scene before? What scene was it? 35. Where’s your favorite place to write?  36. What fanfic of yours has the symbolism you’re proudest of?  37. Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?  38. What story of yours are you surprised that people liked as much as they did?  39. What area of writing do you feel strongest in? 40. What area of writing do you want to improve in?

[victordickiforov]

I'm going to say the OUAT musical episode and BATB because I can 😊

Once Upon a Time’s “The Song in Your Heart”:

First song I heard from the episode: I think the first song I heard all the way through was Hook’s song.

Do I own the album?: Hell no. I haven’t even listened to a majority of the songs since the episode aired.

Favorite song: Hook’s song for sure. I was pleasantly surprised by how smooth and alluring Colin O’Donoghue’s singing voice was.

Least favorite song: Honestly? I hated every other song. I have a special distaste for Lana’s songs, because I didn’t think she sang even remotely well (I still love her to death though, she’s a phenomenal actress). Like honestly, my biggest beef with the musical episode was that it was so unnecessary. It was like the writers were just trying to fill one of those TV tropes before they lost the majority of their main cast. Then you have a bunch of actors who can’t sing who are singing anyway, and the music is subpar, and the episode plot is cheesy and cringy, and ugh. Just… not a fan.

Favorite character: Again, Hook really stood out for me in this episode (although, Rumple is still my overall favorite OUAT character).

Least favorite character: I’m just going to answer these next few in reference to the show in general. There isn’t really a character that I passionately hate, but if I had to pick someone to critique, it would probably be David/Charming. He just always seemed… poorly written to me. Like, his temperament was never consistent, because sometimes he was this warm and caring guy, but then other times he was cold and brief to anyone who wasn’t Snow. I just never got him.

OTP: Rumple and Belle, of course.

BROTP: Hm… I don’t really have one for this show. Maybe Belle and Zelena? They could have baby play dates with Gideon and Robin, and tell each other embarrassing stories about Rumple over tea. :)

NOTP: Eh, I’m pretty tolerant when it comes to ships. People ship what they like, and that’s that. But I will admit I was grossed out by Regina and Rumple’s brief fling, mostly because Regina’s mom had previously been with Rumple as well.

Song I didn’t like at first but now do: Lol none.

Song I liked at first but no longer do: I still like Hook’s song, so.

Is the fandom annoying?: Oohh yes, it absolutely can be. But I never really engage in the discourse, so I’m mostly unbothered in the OUAT fandom.

Do I read/write fanfic for this show?: Read? Yes. Write? No, unless you count the single drabble I wrote about Rumple a few years back.

Favorite non-sung line: “Sorry, dearie, do you think the dark one sings? I’d rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty fork.” - Rumplestiltskin

Favorite lyric: Don’t have one.

Overall rating out of 10: 4/10

Beauty and the Beast (this one will be less negative, I promise lol):

First song I heard from this movie: Since I’m assuming we’re talking about the live action film, the first song I heard was Aria. I held off on listening to the leaked music so I could experience everything for the first time in theaters, and it was so worth it.

Do I own the album?: Not a physical copy, but I downloaded most of the music from iTunes.

Favorite song: This is hard… either Evermore or the finale version of Beauty and the Beast.

Least favorite song: I love them all! But the one I listen to the least is Be Our Guest.

Favorite character: Adam, of course. I love my dramatic son.

Least favorite character: Gaston? For the obvious reasons, because he’s the villain, but I still think he’s excellently written and quite interesting.

OTP: Adam and Belle. Shocker.

BROTP: I LOVE THE THOUGHT OF ADAM AND CHIP PLAYING TOGETHER A LOT? BECAUSE, Y’KNOW, ADAM WITH KIDS!!!!!!!!

NOTP: Again, I’m pretty indifferent towards ships that I don’t ship. There isn’t really a ship in this fandom that I’m like “NO!!!” about.

Song I didn’t like at first but now do: Days in the Sun. It’s not that I “didn’t like” it, I just wasn’t as into it as I am now.

Song I liked at first but no longer do: I still bop to all the songs.

Is the fandom annoying?: Not the part of the fandom I’m in, although I can’t speak for everyone.

Do I read/write fanfic for this movie?: I do, I do. I have written several headcanon posts (here, here, here, and here), and you can find my fics on AO3.

Favorite non-sung line: One word—growl.

Favorite lyric: “How in the midst of all this sorrow, can so much hope and love endure?”

Overall rating out of 10: 100/10 that’s some gOoOoD SHit