#I probably wouldn't hate him so much except my wife hates him so deeply and that has really made it unavoidable how much he sucks

[giantkillerjack]

One thing you gotta know about me is that I will quietly unfollow the fuck out of anyone on tumblr who reblogs or posts anything even remotely positive about Tony Stark, like I will politely show myself out SO FUCKING HARD they won't even know what hit 'em. - probably because they are unlikely to notice it at all

[headspace-hotel]

It's not necessarily that I'm looking to avoid "grimdark" content, either. The Malazan series is one I enjoy and it is plenty "grimdark."

Nor am I really bothered or repulsed by sex.

What I truly hate is books where the author seems so up their own ass about writing a Serious Novel that nothing is fun. There's no vibrancy and richness and enthusiasm radiating from the worldbuilding.

Malazan is so absorbing to me because you can tell Steven Erikson is absolutely OBSESSED with his world and characters and concepts and he writes things just because they're fucking cool. Sometimes it's "Wouldn't it be awesome if there was an army of giant undead wolves and they were in a war with an army of giant sapient velociraptors with swords for arms. Fuck yeah." And sometimes it's "What if there was a scungy guy who bickers with his wife like Miracle Max from the Princess Bride and sometimes his wife shapeshifts into thousands of spiders? Fuck yeah."

That series is basically the worst possible series to recommend to someone trying to get into adult SFF, since there is a lot of sexual violence (there is war happening and the impacts on civilians get a lot of focus) and also every book is like 1200 pages long, has over a dozen POV characters, and requires active note taking to comprehend. The author is an anthropologist and It Shows. I haven't moved on to the sixth book because I don't know if I have the space in my brain for it.

But despite the overall inaccessibility and the number of criticisms I could make, the Malazan series obviously came about because the author's brain worms Compelled him. You read these books and you're like "this guy probably can't carry on a regular conversation about anything except orc burial mounds." Steven Erikson has something deeply wrong with him and if he didn't write 200k words a year about it he would just die.

Books that exist because the author was Compelled By The Brain Worms are different. With many recently published novels, I get the impression that the author did only exactly as much worldbuilding as they thought would be sellable and marketable, and no more.

We don't like that. We like the brain worms.

My take on "why there are many adults that only read YA novels" is pretty simple

The YA book explosion of the mid 2000's-mid 2010's was mostly scifi and fantasy genre, and trying to "get into" adult SFF is a punishment from hell

[piosplayhouse]

god i just saw that “ymj has no children” post you mentioned a while back and it’s??? bad. it’s so bad 💀💀

nhs is the only nie that shows up and it’s bc “well we just don’t see a lot of the nie” even though they explicitly and intentionally visited qinghe (and nhs intentionally ran his sect’s reputation into the ground!!), but jc is the only jiang that shows up and “it’s bc there’s no kids in ymj bc jc is a classist serial killer uwu maybe if he didn’t torture people in public people wouldn’t fucking hate him (also ymj indiscriminately attacks ppl and they’re probably all egotistical thugs)” LIKE HELLO???? WHAT KIND OF JUMP IS THAT???

like. one of my biggest pet peeves is how ppl misuse “begging the question” to mean “raises the question.” but if i had to explain to someone what “begging the question” is, this is too perfect of an example, bc the ENTIRE THING is based on assumptions we don’t know to be true. ARE THERE no children at ymj? IS jc classist? IS he a serial killer? CAN we trust the credibility of rumors? is ANYTHING you just said actually true??

anyway i just remembered not being able to find the post at the time but WOW it’s just as bad as it sounded

(i was in the middle of writing a response to a different one of OP’s posts but now i’m wondering if i should even bother lol)

Yeah it's just like ?? Idk op's top posts seemed fairly reasonable so I guess this is just another "Jiang Cheng eats people's brains" scenario. I think the biggest issue I have with this kind of discourse in general is the notion that "Jiang Cheng is ruining the Jiang sect by being Jiang Cheng" which I feel is weird on a lot of levels that just indicate that you straight up didn't understand half of what was going on in mdzs.

1. The Jiang sect was already ruined. You read about it. It was burned down and everyone except the sect heirs and wwx were killed, what's not clicking. The main reason that Jiang sect doesn't have many junior disciples is most likely because idk , many of the vulnerable young denizens of ymj were killed and as hard as Jiang Cheng tries, he can't force everyone in lotus pier to repopulate like shinzo abe convincing people to get married with anime. This also connects to:

2. The way sects work in mdzs is explicitly hereditary. This is a HUGE point in the world-building-- sure jc could theoretically adopt a bunch of kids or something, but what's the precedent for that? Baoshan Sanren's mountain? Blood ties are everything in mdzs. And this leads into:

3. The implication that Jiang Cheng is ruining his own sect by not getting married and having kids. I don't think I need to elaborate much on this being ummm weird as hell in many ways and also wrong because guess who else doesn't have a wife or kids... Lan Xichen?

Unorganized notes:

- Idk where people are assuming that Yunmeng Jiang/Jiang Cheng are like. explicitly ultra classist? Please keep in mind that the entire WORLD of mdzs is classist, this is a huge point of critique in the book that you literally could not miss unless you didn't read it. Furthermore, honestly, the Jiang are PROGRESSIVE in this regard. First of all, Jiang Cheng explicitly respected Wei Wuxian on a deeply personal level that defied class standards. He wanted to make Wei Wuxian his right hand man!! By mdzs standards, this is huge!! If he was really so classist because of Yu Ziyuan, as the sect heir he wouldn't have sacrificed his own safety and golden core to lead the wen away from wwx, a mere servant! The Jiang sect structure was also explicitly casual in comparison to like, idk the Jin, the guys who are the literal epitome of classism-- descriptions of lotus pier note that the civilian children living nearby would play with lotus pier disciples, do you think the other sects would let their kids do that?

- LMFAO on your mention that nhs is out there purposefully running his sect into the ground someone make an edit of that meme where the soldiers protecting the sleeping kid with jc getting hit with "ruining his sect" "destroying his sects reputation" and nhs sleeping

Ok ummm I think that's everything I wanted to say if anyone has any corrections or things to add feel free to start a discussion in the notes !!! I haven't read mdzs in... 3 years now, so I wouldn't be surprised if I got evidence wrong ^^ also ofc be polite to everyone involved and don't go and harass the person we're talking about or you're peerless cucumber (/neg)

[beclynn-herondale]

hi! ❤ hope you are well, i'm so happy to know you liked my last robert analysis. it feels very safe and nice to write about him to you, so it makes me really glad that you're enjoying too. forgive me, it took me a while to write this one!

between the points you mentioned, what you said you think about his trauma got my attention first. what you think is right, and i thought it would be a good idea to help you with your conclusions if i explained robert's trauma in details.

to examine it closely, i separate robert's childhood trauma into three parts. i guess we could say he had three different childhood traumas. you probably remember it generally: rune experience, parents, and discrimination. each one was deeply connected to the others but had a different effect in some ways.

1- rune experience: it's kinda hard to people to understand what happened because its horribleness was complex. i'll try to summarize. it was robert's 12th birthday. first of all, robert was being burned alive non-stop. he wasn't having his flesh burned, he was something like "burning inside." how intense the pain was: it consumed his entire being, he lost the ability to think, the pain blocked any thought or memory he could have, so robert didn't know who he was, where he was or what was happening, because all his body/mind/soul were processing was the extreme pain. it was mortal pain, it was supposed to kill robert, he was supposed to die consumed but the burning pain. but it didn't. somehow, while he hadn't the ability to think or feel anything but pain, he had strenght to stay alive in pain instead of die. he was enduring something people shouldn't be able to survive to. in his state where his sould/mind was enduring differently of his body, there were demons, and they tortured robert physically and verbally. then, his family members appeared to him, basically saying he was worthless and should die. he really was supposed to be dead by then, and he could see it, he literally could see hell right waiting for him to finally expire. but it didn't happen. somehow he endured it. now, all of this, lasted one entire month. it's actually hard to imagine someone somehow enduring this for one entire month. i don't think any other character had to endure something like this, except maybe annabel. it's the worse i ever saw happen to a tsc character, it was an entire month. (it's very depressing how nobody could ever understand robert cuz no one else around survived something like this. annabel was tortured, buried alive and then painfully ressurrected, and went literally insane because of it.)

this had multiple consequences to robert. physically, he took a while to recover, but then it was stated his body was fine. the effects were mostly mental. after receiving his first rune, robert was supposed to continue his training, but he couldn't. other kids of his age were evolving their training, while he was doing nothing about it. he both hadn't the energy and couldn't do it, cuz he was afraid of steeles. something perfectly logical since a steele caused that month of agony. you know he eventually managed to learn to use steeles to be an actual shadowhunter. but it wasn't all.

the first rune is something normal that happens to all shadowhunters, and it's mostly something good. the way it was horrible to robert in a way no one could have expected, made robert develop extreme anxiety; because the worst happened to him triggered by something common. so while doing common things, robert would be always scared and anxious, thinking about the worst of the worst that could happen. while it wasn't much notable to other people, it harmed his development and behavior a lot, consequently harming his self-steem, cuz he couldn't do things right, he was always worried and overthinking everything.

to compensate it, robert became somebody who worked on two extremes: he was always overthinking everything, except in battle. in battle he wasn't what we define as brave i guess. he was fearless. valentine is the one who helped robert to achieve that. (we know his actual motivations, this isn't important now) the mental process valentine taught him was: robert's inherent fear and anxiety made him fail, and that made him despise himself (that's something robert does a lot for countless reasons). robert should not only embrace the fury he felt against himself, but it should dominate him, and he use its intensity to block his fear. then basically, robert should do a mental form of self harm, letting the strenght of his hate for himself take his mind and use this strenght to control his actions. robert's fury leading his actions, not his fear and anxiety. as expected with this process, robert then was able to engage in normal shadowhunter activities, but fearless when it came to physical risk. logically this would be very dangerous, but we can imagine how useful it was for valentine to have on his team a warrior like this who was such a big and strong man and centainly could take a lot of physical damage and pain (and i guess it shouldn't be any doubt that being so tough helped robert a lot to survive through the years). we know it was because of this robert felt he owed loyalty to valentine.

2- parents: first, something kinda interesting is that robert had other relatives and they were there when robert's first rune was made. we are informed that his state during that month of agony was a scandal and robert's parents were the ones being absurd. so we can assume his other relatives had nothing to do with it. another strong evidence is robert naming two of his children with names from his family, what indicates he didn't saw his entire family negatively. now his parents... let's never forget what happened to robert was supposed to kill him on incredible intense pain. andrew and phoebe deliberately let their child to die in pain so he wouldn't be a mundane. i personally classify them between the worst shadowhunters parents along with céline's, annabel's, valentine and tatiana.

after robert woke up, they (or anyone else) never cared to ask robert how he felt. all they wanted was to make everything seem normal, without caring about how robert was taking it. they never showed any regret about what they've done: they did the opposite of that, telling robert right on his face what they did and how they were sure that it was totally worth it to make him go through that to not be a mundane. it hurt (and traumatized) robert a lot.

love from parents and relatives is supposed to be the first love someone gets. and robert didn't have that. if his parents showed love to him on his first years alive, it never mattered because these two traumas mentioned made robert forget anything about his parents from before his first rune. he couldn't ever remember them as actual parental figures of love. the only parents he remembered and recognized were the ones who left him to endure that, looked proud of it and never cared about its effects on him afterwards. as far as it counted, robert lived a loveless childhood. as i mentioned, andrew and phoebe wanted everything to be as normal possible, so they just acted as robert's parents as if anything happened, but it was pointless and felt cold. after knowing what they did to him (what they let happen to him), knowing that they didn't actually love him as their child, robert couldn't have a bond with them, he couldn't even be comfortable around them. it's described that their presence was what intensified robert's loneliness the most. so he didn't spend much time around them, he stayed in his room.

without his parents' love, robert's first experience with love was when he was 13 years old, with michael. it was setting a standard of love to him, with the long-term consequences afterwards being devastating. (i guess someone could even connect robert not recognizing his parents affection with his future performance of fatherhood, but that would be mostly guessing and i rather work with things i can prove. another good guess i think would be connecting his loveless childhood to how robert during his teenagehood had messy limits between his love for michael and his affection for maryse and didn't know how to handle or recognize it. i mean mostly things like, if michael was robert's best friend/parabatai and maryse his romantic partner and probably future wife, why did robert see maryse and women in general as a threat to michael's place in his life and their parabatai and best friend relationship? he saw valentine having a parabatai he loved and a girlfriend he wanted to get married to, and still freaked out about a woman as his wife replacing michael who was his parabatai, what didn't make any sense. i know people joke about robert being "clueless" about michael but it isn't much funny with this context. finally, another guess would be connecting robert's discovery that his parents' love for him was faulty through they letting him hurt to his beliefs that what he did to michael proved his love for michael was faulty. you can deliberate about all of these conjectures if you want).

3- discrimination: before his first rune, robert had other kids to play with, but he wouldn't remember much of it. yeah, we can say robert doesn't remember anything about how he was treated by people before his first rune. robert doesn't know a life without trauma.

since what happened to robert was a political scandal, with everyone trying to save robert and his parents wanting him to keep his painful and mortal rune, what happened to him was kind of general knowledge. then, no kid wanted to play or train with him. at first he was still recovering, but then he couldn't move foward because he didn't have anyone. he didn't want to be around his parents' coldness and no one else wanted to be around him, quite literally. other people would be around him only when being forced, and then would stay the most distant of him possible, to never get physically close of him, as if to not catch a disease. this is absolutely dreadful to a child.

being treated like this hurt and traumatized robert terribly. being around any one was horrible, so he spent most of the time hidden in his room. not being able to improve on anything because of his fears and anxiety and not having anyone to train with or even to socialize with, and basically never being able to move on about what happened, robert hated to be alive and wished to be dead, wished the rune had killed him as it should have, because he thought no death could be worse than his life, so be dead would be better. this state of mind dured an entire year before michael came around. a lot of damage had been done by then.

being treated like he was "sick" and ostracized left a huge psychological wound on him. to him, discrimination was one of the worst things ever, for something that was never his fault and he never choose to.

(one may think that if robert hates discrimination, it doesn't make sense to him to dislike downworlders, but it actually does. all robert wanted was to be a normal shadowhunter, and he had deeper reasons than most to be passionate about being one. disliking downworlders would be an ideal average shadowhunter thing to do. but robert was far from ignorant. he didn't think downworlders were animals or demons and was far more inclined to defend downworlder segregation than downworlder extermination. of course segregation is something horrible in general and should never be defended, but with downworlders being different sub-species, it wasn't as absurd as the extermination valentine defended, and robert being actually smart and open minded, we know he actually changed his beliefs).

now, to him, one being discriminated by their peers was one of the worst things that could happen, and the perspective of being discriminated terrified and triggered robert deeply. we know the perspective of homosexuality freaks robert out because of the discrimination, marginalization and "anormality" experience that comes with it (and robert is a 60s kid and shadowhunter society is a conservative mess, so it would naturally seem so much more taboo to him), what scared him deeply. we see him getting extremely anxious over himself, michael and alec about the perspective of homophobic discrimination.

robert only started training with runes after his 14th birthday. his training was late, and between his 12th and 14th birthdays, half of the time was extremely traumatizing, the other half he spent most with michael (who helped him a lot about everything). but still, it was a very big share of his childhood-teenagehood and he didn't have the feeling or normality. everything i said about his anxiety over shadowhunting, specially over runes, applied intensely during his entire teenagehood, but robert went to the academy with michael where he was having normal training and final got to socialize a little. he loved so much to feel a little normal. he still felt like a weak and useless trash, but at least he was doing normal shadowhunting things and living like a teenager. the problem was: he wanted to live his entire teenagehood, and he just couldn't do that. training is supposed to end when shadowhunters are 18 years old. robert would stay at the academy until he was 19, and still didn't seem enough. while he was older than his fellows, he felt far less mature. much of his development time had been lost, and he would never get it back. in this context, it made very sense to robert's girlfriend be a younger girl and his admiration for a younger boy (valentine), and there were jokes about him being old, but what bothered robert the most was that he should soon live an adult man average life with wife and kids, when his perspective of life was being with michael in the academy. we also know how that went... and he married maryse when he was about 21/22 years old and maryse about 19.

forgive me for any grammar mistakes. i think this summary can help a lot! at least i hope it's useful to you or anyone else who read it! writing it was very thoughtful (and it's really a huge joy for me to explain things about robert, if you haven't guessed) and i hope to start working on my next ask soon

xoxo, take care of yourself, kind fellow ☺ thank you for your attention

First of all,. I'm sorry for getting to this late.

Second, I don't think I need to add anything. This is written very well, and gave me a deeper understanding.

And I am once again saying: let Shadowhunters get help with their trauma 😭

Also, TSC has a lot of bad parents. But it sadly represents real life 😔

Thank you for taking the time to write this out. I enjoyed reading it. And I agree with a lot that was said.

[alexhogh7137]

The Battle Between Love and Fire-

Ivar the Boneless × Reader

Chapter Fourteen: Weights Lifted

Chapter Thirteen is here...

Word Count 1.8k

Warnings: smut, fluff fluff and more fluff

When you came back inside, Ivar spotted you walking in the opposite direction from which he stood. He didn't understand why, simply because you would always walk to him after not seeing him for a few hours. So this made him feel uneasy. Why isn't his wife coming to see him? He excuses himself from his brother Ubbe and walks to your location. You sit down on the bed and undo the major braids that were giving you a headache. When Ivar comes in, he has a look on his face that you know all too well. He knows that something is bothering you. The thing is with being best friends with your husband, you can never keep your thoughts to yourself because they always know it before you even tell them. 

Ivar "What is it? Tell me, my love."

"It is nothing."

Ivar raises his head, "Now I know that you are lying. Y/n..my love, tell me what is the matter."

"Please don't make me, Ivar."

Ivar "Is it that bad?!"

You sigh, "I just don't want to tell you my thoughts as of right now."

Ivar "But you are worrying me. I don't like seeing my wife pout." He sits down next to you and you rest your head on his broad shoulder.

"I do not know how I survived so long without you, Ivar."

Ivar takes you hand in his own, "Neither do I, my sweet. You've made me a better man. A better king to my people. And a better lover."

"I do?"

Ivar "Oh yes. You do not think so?"

"I just didn't know that I had that impact to your life."

Ivar "You are the best thing to ever happen to me, Y/n. I love you."

"You mean so much to me, my love. I love you so much." He pulls your face to his and kisses you softly.

Ivar "Can you please tell me your thoughts? It is destroying me."

You look away from his eyes, and gaze at the floor. You begin to fiddle with your fingers and Ivar grabs them to make you stop. "Y/n..whatever it may be, I will not be mad at you. Just please tell me, I can help."

You try to find an easy way to tell him that you do not want to be shared any longer but it is very hard. You take a deep breath and take your shot.

"I-I just want to be yours, Ivar."

Ivar's eyes start to sparkle, "You mean-"

"Yes. I do not want to be shared any longer. I know that he will have to help me conceive but after that, I do not wish to be his as well as yours. I only want you."

Ivar's lips form into a tiny smile, "I did not expect you to ever say that."

"Why wouldn't you? You thought that I would fall for Hvitserk?"

Ivar "To be honest, I thought of the possibility. But no, I no longer think such a thing. When I first agreed, I did. But on wedding day, those thoughts faded away."

"Oh Ivar...I love you more than anyone else in my life. Never think that I love anyone more than you."

Ivar "What about our child?" He chuckles.

"Well that is the only exception."

Ivar "Can I make another promise to you?"

"If you would like to."

Ivar "When you are with child, you will no longer have to be shared with my brother. It will just be me and you, forever."

"Forever?"

Ivar "Yes. I do not wish to be with anyone else but with you.. forever."

Your heart fills up with pure love and admiration that it could burst. You have never felt so loved before, never felt such a connection with another human being before. 

"I love you. I love you with every part of me. You have my heart, Ivar the Boneless."

His tears in his eyes overflow now, he grabs your cheeks and kisses your entire face. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days go by and Hvitserk has been extra clingy towards you. You don't mind it, you love Hvitserk like a best friend and a brother. But the love you have for Ivar will never be there for Hvitserk. You swore to yourself to never let that happen. Ivar watches you two across the room, as he sits upon his throne and you two are sitting next to your dragon's across the room. As Hvitserk puts his arm around your waist ever so slightly, Ivar digs his hands into the arm rests.

He cannot stop him, however, because you are not yet with child. When you are, then he will stop his brother's actions. Ubbe notices and walks over to his brother.

Ubbe "You see Hvitserk, yes?"

Ivar clears his throat, "Yes."

Ubbe "What are you doing then, hmm? That is your wife-"

Ivar "I know that she is my wife Ubbe. Thank you for reminding me."

Ubbe "Well if that was my wife, I would not allow another man, let alone my own brother put his hands on her."

Ivar "You would not understand Ubbe. Just mind your own business, hmm?"

Ubbe scuffs, "Fine. I just don't want you to get your heart broken, Ivar. You are my brother at the end of the day. And I love you."

Ivar "I love you, Ubbe. I am not mad, it is just complicated. Everything is fine, and my wife loves me."

Ubbe "Good, I am glad to hear that."

…

Hvitserk "Want to go to the bedroom?" You swallow deeply when you hear that come out of his mouth. You fancy Hvitserk, no doubt about that. But there is still a large part of you that feels that it is still very wrong. But you know that you don't really have a choice but to say yes. 

"Sure.."

Hvitserk "If you do not want to, we can stay here. There are other days ahead."

"No, I want too." He smirks and picks you up in his arms bridal style and takes you to his room with great haste. Ivar sees this of course and fiddles in his chair. He curses himself because he cannot do those things for his own wife. He hates being a cripple. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He tosses you on the bed and kisses you hungrily. You love the way he kisses you, hungrily: always wanting more..but at the same time with such softness. You moan as he touches you and just let the moment take you away. Your climaxes are so strong today that you are both a shaking mess by the end of each round. After Hvitserk is done kissing you as you ride out your high, he rolls off of you and you rest your head on his chest. 

"I have to tell you something."

Hvitserk "Of course. You can tell me anything." He said, out of breath.

"We can't continue this after I am with child.."

Hvitserk starts to rub your shoulder, "I know, kitten."

"Y-you do?"

Hvitserk "Yes. I was not going to make you after you are...I know that you belong to my brother. I do not wish to hurt your marriage by continuing this."

Your heart relaxes and it feels like a huge weight it lifted off your shoulders.

"Thank you, Hvitserk."

Hvitserk "No need to thank me, Y/n. When Ivar and I made this pact, we agreed that I would not need to please you for long. The only reason why we even made it a pact is because my brother really wants to be a father one day, and I want that for him as well. I feel like it will bring so much joy into his life."

"Yeah."

Hvitserk "Do not get me wrong, being with you has been amazing. And I would not change a thing. Do I want to continue, yes of course. But I know that it will not for much longer."

"Me too, Hvitserk."

Hvitserk "And after you tell me that you are with child, will be one of the happiest days of my life. Because at the end of the day, this child will be mine. I know that he or she will not know that but we will. And I am grateful that I have you to be the mother of my child."

"Oh Hvitserk.."

Hvitserk "Do not cry. It is the truth. You are an incredible woman, Y/n. Before we all met you, the women that came our ways were nothing like you. I always wished to the gods that I would become a father one day, and have many children. This is not how I expected it to go, but I cannot be mad." He continues to rub small circles on your shoulder blade, "Ivar will be a great father. I know that he will. But do not think that I will not love my child just as much as he does."

You sniff away your tears, "I know that you will. "

Hvitserk rolls you over and rests on his elbow as he looks down at you. He wipes your tears away with his thumb and smiles, "I told you no tears."

You chuckle, "I can't help it. I didn't expect that to be your reaction when I told you that we couldn't much longer."

Hvitserk "What did you think I would do? Be mad?"

"I guess so, yes."

Hvitserk "Well I would never be mad at you, Y/n. You will always have a special place in my heart. I know that you are married to Ivar, and you are his queen. And I will eventually find my person, and she will be my queen. But you will always be in my heart. You will always be the mother of my child, or children until that woman comes along. So do not ever think that I would ever be mad or treat you poorly."

"Okay, thank you." Hvitserk leans down to kiss your lips once more, and then your nose and lastly your forehead.

Hvitserk "I am going to miss your kisses though. That is going to be hard to get over."

"You are probably right but we will get through it together. You are my best friend, Hvitserk..and you mean so very much to me."

Hvitserk "I know, kitten. Come on, let's get cleaned up and join the other's. I can hear them getting all round up."

"There's only one problem.."

Hvitserk "What is it?!" His face went from happy to worried in the matter of seconds.

"I can't walk."

Hvitserk bursts out laughing, "Too many rounds tonight?"

"Possibly."

Hvitserk "I'll carry you, come on." He lifts you both off the bed and walks you to the shower. 

"Thank you for everything."

Hvitserk "It is no problem." He even went to the measures of helping you bathe. He does mean a lot to you and he always will. You love Hvitserk, and you are glad that you have him in your life. But at the end of the day, Ivar is your beloved husband and you are his wife. And that is what makes you the happiest woman in the entire world. 

@hvitserkmarcosource @ivarsgoddess @a-mess-of-fandoms @youbloodymadgenius @ivarzeitgeist @herestherealproblem @heavenly1927 @saldelys @kaitieskidmore1 @more-stuf-f

[princesssarcastia]

Alright, let's talk about Sarah Kazansky

Obviously, from a Doyalist perspective, she's Iceman's wife, and those kids running around out back are his grandkids, and the heteronormativity of it all is deeply boring and disgusting to me. You can't really make this movie after all this time and be unaware of the barely-under-tones in Iceman and Maverick's relationship in the original, and all the fan response to it over the years. The decision to give Iceman a wife and an unnamed number of offspring is a decisive way for them to try and shut down any discussion of a gay connection or relationship between Iceman and Maverick. And from that perspective, I hate it! Buncha fuckin' cowards. But then, we knew that already.

Luckily, I can sit over here with a bunch of Watsonian perspectives and rub my queer little hands all over this situation, which is how i've written like 20k+ words of fic about it in the last year

We know very, very little about Sarah Kazansky except:

She's happy/excited to see Maverick, and clearly cares about him

Maverick is happy excited to see Sarah, and clearly cares about her

Maverick can read her like a book, and knows without words or even that much time to look that her husband/his wingman is dying again and this time they can't stop it

We can also infer from this that she really loves Iceman, even if we never see them interact

That's it! And frankly we have all done so much more with so much less than that. Which I plan to keep doing.

Alright. Onward:

For Maverick to open the door and immediately be confronted with a sign that Ice is sick and imminently dying...oh, man. The pain on his face is exquisite.

Iceman is dying. He's dying! Soon!

But he doesn't want to talk about that. Genuine emotions about his own mortality? Maverick's genuine emotions about Iceman's mortality? Nah. Iceman isn't here to talk about that. He's here to solve all of Maverick's other emotional problems, instead.

Maverick gives in, because, you know, Iceman is dying.

And immediately pours out his entire fucking soul to Iceman until he starts crying.

"It's time to let go," Iceman says, to the man who has let go of exactly zero things ever, in his entire life. He's not wrong, but let's be realistic here, my dude, you don't have a lot of time left here.

The way that's also kind of the solution to the big elephant in the room they're Not Talking About....ugh. Yeah, I'm dying, yeah, it sucks, but by god I'm not gonna let you haunt yourself with my memory the way you did with your dad and with Goose. If you loved me let me go.

Maverick: "I don't know how." oh god. i'm crying. maverick is crying. iceman would probably be crying too if it wouldn't be so painful.

"The only reason I'm here is you." FUCK. Iceman spending an inordinate amount of time keeping Maverick in the navy, in the air—sure, it's because he thinks Maverick is helpful for the Navy, but let's be honest, the reason Iceman thinks Maverick is so helpful is because he loves him. He loves him so much.

Also the way Bradley is this gaping, bleeding wound for Maverick even after all this time? Fuck, that's his kid. He loves Bradley so much. Not that I don't enjoy slash fic as much as the next, but textually, That Is His Son And He Loves Him So Much. i wouldn't love this movie like I do without the very strong bonds of familial love running through it

that hug is imprinted in my fucking brain

As much as Iceman is here to try and solve Maverick's emotional problems, Maverick is here to help enable Iceman's. They're embracing for what might be the very last time! It's devastating! It's okay for this to be devastating!

But in order to be physically capable of letting him go, Iceman needs it to be not-devastating. He needs this to end on a high note, on an inside joke they've kept going for 30 years, that's only funny because of how much they don't mean it.

And Maverick indulges him. Because what else is there left to do, for the man who's defined his entire life as much as his son has?

Sobbing

alright. top gun maverick re-watch liveblog time

block 'liveblog' if you don't want it all over your dash for the next few hours <3

[cinaminho]

_

Before we run || K.SM.

♡ Group: Straykids

♡ Genre: Fluff ,, highschool AU ,, non idol

♡ Warnings: cRINGe,,

----- ×

Hypothesis// It's not there yet but it's something special, A special kinda 'somethin

Now it was Spring time, everything was blooming, from flowers in fields to fresh Fruits on trees. It was that time again for everything to be new, purified and unruined. That's the kind of Bond you had with Him, it was as fresh as lavender , not tainted by such things as problematic disagreements and distrust, those struggles came with being a couple which was something you and him, Seungmin , weren't. Sure a few intertwined fingers here and there maybe a peck on the cheek or two, add Flirting too, but nothing beyond such had progressed between you two.

Yes, you were labeless and saw no problem with it so of course neither did he. You both never asked questions , what would need to be asked anyway, nothing came to mind for you and perhaps not for him either.

Everything was free and all was not set in stone, though everything seemed be rushed with everyone else everything you touched or did was light which you basked in. Walking into your school's cafeteria the smell of Baked sweet breads, fruits, fresh cooked roast beef and sounds of loud laughter along with muffled chattering could be heard, carrying yourself through the sea of young Humans searching for a table with familiar faces since your distinct group of friends never sat at the same one, searching beyond body barriers and hair squinting as far as you could you finally found them at the corner near the back, squeezing your way through people just to get to your own set that you talked to on the regular bases.

Successfully making it through the crowd you headed over to your crew of friends sighing contently as you sat down with small creases in your cheeks from smiling, your friend, Kara, was the first to observe you once you sat down next to her "Why do you look as if you just got done skipping through a meadow of daisies?" Your mind couldn't process her words quick enough transitioning from Shock you spoke "Well, for starters, I'm alive..," Kara gestured for you to keep going "and that should be enough."

You smiled making Kara smack her lips at your seemingly uninteresting answer, "Be Real honey, who's happy to be living without a catch." A Male's voice chimed in one that belonged to Ruben, another friend of yours, Kara snapped her head in his direction "Well what a dark but intriguing way to look at things." You ignored the last two comments from your friends still wanting to know why Kara assumed that their was a specific reason behind your smile.

"Excuse me, but why does there have to be a hidden motive behind my smile?" Your tone had a hint of offense laced with your words.

"Its not that there has to be one it's just that we want it to be one." Kara explained noticing your discomfort , "Which is?" You urged further suspiciously, "We were hoping you and him had finally got together , y'know , you and Seungmin, it's clear you two are deeply intrigued by one another." Kara added.

You nodded your head as it all came together they knew you hated when they pushed for more in situations that had nothing to do with them which explained Kara's Semi guilty and timid tone when she spoke "I'm sorry!" She quickly added "I'm not." Rueben shrugged making both you and Kara stare at him bewildered but he wasn't phased by the deathly stares from the two of you, so he continued .

"Look no one wants to deal with the cliches and predictable tales, you'll eventually realize you like him but have been putting it off, blah blah, every other fanfiction. You guys do small things that couples do so might as well be one." Rueben's tone dragged along as he spoke to you both it was quiet as no one repomded not knowing what to say.

"You read fanfiction?" Kara laughed breaking the weird silence "From time to time." He smirked confidently, you looked between the two speaking back and forth Eyes trained on them but your thoughts were focused on Rueben's last statement, it hit like a bag of bricks thinking he may be right, i mean, Would Seungmin and you actually turn out like that?

"Ohhh you're thinking about it," Kara squealed pulling you back to the real world away from your thoughts "I'm sorry , what?"

"You're thinking about you and Seungmin!" She grinned "actually I'm th-"

"You are." Rueben deadpanned , the school's cafeteria Bell rung letting it be known that lunch was over and it was time to get back to class. "Just talk to him about it or hint at it, whatever, ease him into the idea." Kara suggested while getting up from the table "Don't be a cliche." Rueben whispered to you as he walked past making you attempt to slap his face away for taunting you.

"I don't care how desperate I get for love, I'll never be as cliche those Stories Rueben probably reads." You mumbled to yourself gathering your things before standing and handing off to class.

♡ ~ - ~ ♡

Seungmin waited at the last cement step for you against the flag pole, the stampede of students slowed down and you were one of the last to appear outside , he had been bright all day but you unintentionally made him even brighter without much notice , you were fixing a strap on your bag as you walked down the steps of your school "I didn't know you could do something while walking other than talking." A mocking Seungmin spoke up causing your eyes to search until you found him "I didn't know you were capable of being anything more than a pain to those around you." Seungmin frowned briefly as you walked past Him before catching up to you lending his hand out for you to grab, nothing foreign to you excepting his advance and colliding both of your delicate hands the walk was only silent for a few seconds

"So I think I'm going to have a schedule change." His statement made you look at him with much curiosity "Why , you seem to like most of your periods."

"More time with you is great as well." You hummed understanding, slowly analyzing his explanation all while Rueben's comment clashed in your brain , Don't be a cliche, you weren't going to be one, you would speak up just to get a glimpse of what he thought of you two becoming an exclusive love.

"Seungmin,"

"You won't get tired of seeing me more often, right?" He suddenly spoke

You Shook your head "Seungmin I need your opinion"

"I feel like we'll only get closer." He grinned happily up at the sky, once again, discarding your questions initiation.

"Seungmin." You said more urgently catching his attention, you took a deep shakey breath it was funny how within a few seconds you became unsure about wanting ask this important question but it had to be done if not now, when? "You can't deny that we do things that almost would make people assume that we're a couple , right ?"

Seungmin searched your eyes as you kept walking hand in hand as if he was asking you why the sudden question, this brought a bundle of nerves to trigger a minor faster speed in your heart rate. "I suppose if I payed attention, then yes." You subtly released the air you withheld in your lungs, "So it wouldn't be completely-"

"For the love of Christ, Y/n, did your friends say something to you about us becoming 'exclusive'." He groaned. You were shocked that he knew "Yeah how'd you know?" You smiled "Because mine have been on my back about the same thing for since Last Wednesday ." Your mouth formed an Oh shape silence crawled into the air between the two of you feeling that the question had been answered, for the most part, but you couldn't help wanting to ask him further.

"But is the idea so bad?" You blurted out shamefully, Seungmin laughed at your slight embarrassment "No." He simply said "Well so why don't we do it?" He hummed softly "Do what?" , "Date." You said playfully annoyed. "Well because we don't need to right now."

"Why not? Everyone else is."

He chuckled for a moment making you stare at him weirdly "See you just said the two key words, 'Everyone' and 'else' , we are not everyone else, we are Seungmin and Y/n we move at our own pace while everyone else is rushing we'll take our time so we'll last while others are running around like chickens with their heads cut off attempting figuring out where their relationships went wrong. I'm not leading you on but I'm also not rushing into us being official." He said all in one breath seemingly focused on getting you to understand, it was as if he'd been waiting to explain this to you. You were totally at a loss for words staring into his .

"Okay." You spoke softly not seeing how you could argue with that nor did you want to, Seungmin felt the need to explain further he stepped in front of you gently grabbing your other hand , a soft breath left his lips as he gathered his nerves to look at you so he could speak "Please do not doubt me enjoying the idea of us being an officially a couple, I love that idea and I'm well aware that we look like we're one already sometimes, that is what I'm working towards, but I see all these relationships that are being rushed into and failing and I don't want that same outcome for us, I know this sounds like a load of-"

"Seungmin!" You semi yelled to grasp his attention and stop his rambling as he gazed into your shining orbs "If I doubted you the first time you explained it I'd be gone." You giggled. "Oh thank God." He breathed out "I'm okay with taking things slow just as long as it ends up somewhere." You assured, "Great and it will! Like my dad says, we have to walk before we run, that was his motto for a few years while dating my mom , they took their time and still are but as husband and wife." Seungmin said proudly.

You felt your own smile appearing seeing this as a great moment to tease him "So wait, you're saying that in a few years we may be married if we take our time?" Your devilish grin appeared quickly after your question, Seungmin looked into your eyes searching for signs of bluff which he found as you fought to keep your laughter In "Ha Ha nice one , let's get you home." He sarcastically spoke pulling you along to walk again.

-

-

A/N ' The original title was different which would explain the hypothesis and was supposed to be longer but I accidentally cut the ending thinking I hit paste, so I was too lazy to rewrite it.

[doodlelolly0910]

Close Encounters of the Spiritual Kind

Summary: Emma Nolan spent a lot of time alone, and that was fine by her. Because one is never truly alone. She should know. She can talk to dead people. What she didn't expect was one of these spiritual encounters to hang around, taking her down a rabbit hole of missing women, revenge, and, least expected, love. Can she save the day and Killian Jones? Is there even another choice?

Read it from the beginning on AO3 and FFN!

A/N: We're already on chapter four! Things with the case are really starting to heat up here, and some big background on Killian comes to light. Also, the confirmation on the identity of the woman Emma has been hearing all this time! I'm sure you guys have already guessed who she is, but her identity is confirmed here. Thanks so so much as always for reading and a HUGE thank you to the fantastic @kmomof4 being such an amazing part of this process as my beta and thanks to @courtorderedcake the brilliant artwork she's created for this piece. Enjoy chapter 4!

Chapter 4

Emma hated days like this. She knew from the multiple messages she'd gotten from Graham and Captain Mills that the tip had been heeded and the captain had sent out a search party to recover Marian's body last night. Which means Robin would be there this morning and very much grieving. Her heart hurt for him.

Unfortunately, Marian's death fit a laundry list of other victims in the area. She was a young woman, missing for several months, and connected to Weaver Gold. Of course, she was the only one that knew for sure that  Weaver Gold was the actual killer, but without actual physical evidence, she couldn't make that accusation. Thankfully, Robin's former association with him was enough to warrant further investigation.

Emma arrived at the office a little earlier than usual, sipping on her iced coffee (no repeats of yesterday, thank you very much), and reviewing her case files before Graham got there. She flipped through a number of pages, looking at names and faces of so many missing girls she hoped she wouldn't find like Marian. Ashley Boyd. Ivy Belfrey. Ariel Havfrue. Shirin Amira. Aurora Prince. Young women that had all gone missing without a trace within the last six months, from all walks of life with seemingly no connection to one another, except one: Mr. Gold. In one way or another, usually through a deal they had made to get out of a bad spot in their lives, all of them had a connection to Gold. And now that a body had turned up, it was time to dig deeper. She turned back to the bulletin board set up with information on Gold and his enterprise and looked at the red yarn webbing connecting pieces of these women's lives to him and it made her blood boil. She was going to be the one to take him down. She had to be.

"Hey, Em." Graham's sheepish voice came from the doorway behind her as her partner made his way into their shared office. "You're here early."

Emma nodded and hummed an affirmative sound before turning back to study her board. Graham cleared his throat and she turned back to him to see him watching her intently.

"Something you needed, Humbert?" she asked, gathering her files on the desk.

"Ah, no. Well, yes. Kind of," he rambled and Emma raised an eyebrow. He sighed deeply before continuing. "What I mean to say is I feel bad about yesterday. I can't help but feel like maybe your migraine was partially caused by what happened with me startling you and the spill, and of course I feel terrible about that as well. Anyways, I wanted to see about making it up to you by maybe taking you to dinner?"

It was Emma's turn to sigh. Graham looked like such a hopeful little puppy every time he asked her out that, at first, she hated to say no, but she just wasn't in the same place as Graham was. That was at first. Now, she still wasn't in the same place he was and rejection came automatically to her.

"Sorry, Graham. Don't mix business with pleasure. Is Mills in yet?" She tried to change the subject around Graham's crestfallen change in expression. He nodded and began shuffling through papers on his own desk.

"Uh, yeah. I dunno if she even went home last night after they pulled the body. They're razing the whole field to see if there's anymore case files we can close." Graham seemed to have found everything he needed and nodded at his desk, not meeting Emma's eyes. "I'll, uh, see you out there."

Emma squeezed her eyes shut tightly as he left the office. When she was sure he was gone, she turned and picked up her case files and followed him out into the bullpen for the meeting.

Regina Mills was a no-nonsense, severe woman. She was rather imposing for her average stature, her raven hair always in its sleek bob, immaculate pantsuits for every occasion, big brown eyes that looked into the depths of your soul. Emma's two years under her as her captain were tumultuous, to say the least. Over time, they had learned to get along and had even become friends of a sort. Well, as close to being Emma's friend as you could get. But they understood each other, and that was more than Emma had with most people. Unbidden, Killian's face popped into her mind. Maybe he was someone who could understand, too. Emma shook his image from her head as fast as it entered, a flush crawling up her neck at how much she actually thought about someone she'd never even met before.

Things had actually been quieter on the encounters front. Instead of relief, Emma felt unsettled. She was always waiting for the other shoe to drop and she was very careful to avoid touching anything that might trigger her. Especially that damn shirt. But along with all of that, there was an underlying fear that she may be running out of time on multiple counts. If this Killian Jones needed rescue, she knew time was of the essence. Right now, though, she had a job to do.

She gathered her case files and walked into the bullpen, taking a seat on the edge of an open desk next to where Graham sat. A few other people had already gathered themselves. Jefferson, their tech analyst was typing away at his laptop, completely engrossed in his task. Two junior detectives, August Booth and Mulan Fa, stood chatting in front of the water cooler. The door to the central office opened and Captain Mills came striding out.

"Alright, people. As you all know, there was a huge break in the case yesterday with the unfortunate recovery of Marian Locksley's body. We still have no leads on the tip that came in leading to the location of her remains, but Jefferson is looking into that," she addressed the group and Jefferson gave a mock two fingered salute, eyes still glued to his screen. Emma felt butterflies rise up in her stomach, but she'd been careful. There's no reason she'd be found out. "Now, we have a solid lead on a connection to Weaver Gold in regards to these disappearances, but he's sealing up leaks quickly since the body was discovered. Information out of his operation is at an essential standstill. So, we'll have to get it from the source. Nolan, Humbert!" Emma's head snapped up at her name and Graham stood up straighter beside her.

"You have three days to get your affairs in order. Then you're undercover."

Emma's heart jumped into her throat as Regina continued to speak and passed them each a manilla folder with information on the identities created for them. She had never been undercover before in the four years since she'd been promoted to detective.

"Of course you'll want to use all in house resources before you go, you'll only have Jefferson as your contact once you are in the field," Regina continued and Emma looked up to her.

"Did Robin come in already?" she asked and Regina cocked an eyebrow.

"He's in my office. He's provided us with some invaluable intel towards your undercover assignment already," she replied.

"Is he... well, I mean I know he's not... but is he..." Emma struggled to find words to ask about the wellbeing of the man who had lost his wife. There was a reason Graham did most of the talking to the vics.

Regina gave a slow, cool nod.

"He's as well as can be expected," she said thoughtfully. It was rare to see an introspective Regina. She cared about a lot of things, but was never really one to wear her heart on her sleeve. Emma nodded, unsure of how to read Regina.

"Well, it looks like the going just got tough, so I better get going." She stood and the two nodded at each other before Emma walked to her office.

Inside, Graham was poring over the contents of the manila file on his desk with his undercover instructions. She sat opposite of him, eyeing him carefully. He sighed heavily.

"This is insane," he said, flipping his file closed sharply as Emma opened hers. She shrugged.

"We know the case the best. We've been working on it for months now and no one knows Gold better than the two of us. Makes sense." She continued to flip though the file outlining her role as a petty thief and Graham's as a fence of sorts. She scowled down at the pages in her hands.

"I know. You're right. I just can't help but feel like something bigger is going on. And I know that should make me more ready to go, but it just makes me nervous," he admitted. Emma looked up to him and studied the apprehension in his gaze.

"I know, Graham. It's a tough spot. But we're professionals and we can do this. At least we can count on one another." She offered him a warm smile which he returned with a stiff one of his own.

"Yeah. You're right. It must be first time undercover nerves. I'm gonna go grab a coffee and talk to Jefferson. You want anything?" he asked and Emma shook her head.

"No, I'm good. Gonna look through some things and probably head out for the day. Get everything ready to go." She shuffled the papers back into place and closed the folder.

"I'll leave you to it, then. See you Friday." He smiled gently at her again and she nodded her response, turning her attention to her computer as he left the space.

Emma rolled her neck, trying to relieve some tension. She could only hope this went smoothly and quickly. With Gold's status and notoriety, it was unlikely though. Her whole life was likely to be put on the back burner for quite some time. Ruby was going to be pissed. Protective pissed, but still pissed. And then there was the issue with Killian Jones. She felt a pang in her chest at the idea of leaving him to suffer through whatever she was supposed to be "saving" him from. She rolled the mouse on the screen as an idea came to her. She opened up a new search screen and began to type.

Killian Jones.

More than one result popped up in the records database, British naval records, immigration records, naturalization paperwork, guardianship records for one Liam Jones, but the blue eyes staring out from the mugshot on her screen she instantly recognized. So he had a past. She clicked on his arrest record and pulled up his history. Her jaw dropped almost comically.

Robbery.

Assault.

Burglary.

Breaking and entering.

Money laundering.

Evading arrest.

Attempted murder.

The litany of charges he had been arrested for was impressive, to say the least. Curiously enough, however, all charges were subsequently dropped after his arrest due to there not being enough evidence to hold him, except the assault. The assault, an apparently isolated incident against a man named Herman Ahab, he served two years behind bars for. But the scowling man with the piercing eyes and hard set to his jaw seemed absolutely capable of each and every allegation. A far cry to the soft image of a lost and hurting soul gazing wistfully over the sea that she had experienced before. Emma was more conflicted than ever. Was Killian Jones in danger? Or was he the danger himself? Before she could decide for herself the now familiar, but still panic inducing, scent of jasmine crept up on her causing her flesh to erupt in goose pimples.

Good man.

The soft voice murmured. Emma scoffed.

"Clearly," she said, feeling insane for acknowledging the encounter out loud. A surge of floral perfume surrounded her and the words were repeated, a little more forcefully.

Good man.

"If you say so. I don't know why I keep listening to you. I don't even know who the hell you are," she grumbled petulantly.

The voice whispered an answer to the statement she made almost immediately.

Milah.

"Milah, huh. You got a last name, Milah?" Emma asked, bringing up a new search screen to do a little more digging. As quickly as the encounter had come on, the scent of jasmine began to fade and Emma had the distinct feeling she was alone again. 

She sighed heavily and clicked back on the page with Killian Jones’ information. The remaining charges on his rap sheet all appeared to be linked to a single arrest, so she pulled up the report and her heart almost slammed to a stop in her chest.

Killian Jones had been accused of trying to kill Weaver Gold. 

Emma was never much of a believer in fate, but it seemed like there was something bigger at work here.  Call it grand design, destiny, or whatever, there was much to get ready for.