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planesofduality · 4 years ago

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Full Transcript edition:

“The Story Behind Solas with Dragon Age Lead Writer Patrick Weekes” by Dialogue Wheel/Video Game Sophistry

Reblog of one of my first posts ever. I didn’t understand how tumblr worked back then really, and long story short, I split the transcript of this interview into 3 parts :) I’d probably do things differently now. Reblogging it as a single transcript for my own convenience, as I still refer to some of the things Weekes said here from time to time!

Interview is from before Trespasser DLC; posted to YouTube 12/20/2019

Note: pseudo-reblog

“Interview with lead writer for Dragon Age Patrick Weekes years ago about how the enigmatic character Solas was created, here is what that magic elf could have up his sleeve for us in Dragon Age 4.” Not my interview, just wrote transcript of questions and answers for reference.

Full video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFx1nCdZFjw&t=1s

Time: 2:54

Solas, tell us about little old Solas. Talking about your other characters you created we always start at the beginning. Pen to paper - How did the idea of Solas first start? What was that first iteration?

So actually Dave and Mike both, you know, we - everyone knew who Solas was - everyone knew what the ending was going to be with him. And, you know, Dave and Mike said, “Well Dave is writing a ton of the crit path, the main part of the game. Dave really wants to do Dorian, that’s very important to him, and are you comfortable writing this guy? Are you comfortable writing someone who is going to be, in some respects, deceiving the Inquisitor for the entirety of the game?” And, honestly, how do you turn that down?

Time: 4:02

So really it was that simple then - from there, in the way you described it, they already had some ideas and some concepts about what Solas needed to bring?

Oh, yeah. Originally, one of the most difficult parts of writing him - and, you know, I said Iron Bull was the one closest to how I originally planned him - Solas and Cole are probably tied for least like how I originally wrote them. And, really, it was getting past the secret. It was getting past Fen’Harel.

Iron Bull: badass former spy, the opposite of Sten.

Blackwall: awesome Grey Warden who is not actually a Grey Warden.

Solas: He’s Fen’Harel…

Okay, can he tell you he’s Fen’Harel? No.

Okay, well what are we going to talk about?

[Pretending to be Solas:] “Hey Inquisitor, I’m still not Fen’Harel, do you have any questions?”, “I will not take any questions about whether I am Fen’Harel.” That was the big stumbling block of writing him.

I remember the first draft… the first draft all we talked about was elves. It was elves all the time. Every conversation went “Elves, elves… Elves were awesome back in the old days.. Everything was great with the elves.” And then you’d go, “You really like elves huh?” “No, shut up - I’m not Fen’Harel.” And we all kind of looked at that and went, that’s not really much of a character hook. You cannot have a character hook built on something that you only reveal after the play has watched the credits. That is how we got to Fade expert. That is something where, if something had gone terribly wrong, if we were six months from shipped and we decided not to do anything with elves in the future, we could have taken the Dread Wolf out of the equation entirely and a mage named Solas who loves the Fade, is an apostate but without all of the fear and anger that you think of when you think of an apostate, but is just this guy who wants to travel through dreams and find mysteries and explore… that was a good enough character to stand by itself. That is what it took us a couple of drafts to get to.

Time: 7:04

You mentioned the first two phases of Solas - share with us a little more of that journey, when you finally go to this character that could stand on its own. If you don’t mind, a little more of that journey- was it just those first two and now everything’s cool?

First draft was “ ‘Elves, elves’ but ‘I don’t like elves’”. Second draft was about how much to tell. I think in the next draft it was significantly closer. Anyone who looked at that draft - and, you know, I apologize to anyone who looked at that draft - but, anyone who looked at that draft you would find places where “Oh okay that’s the Solas I know and love. There he is. He likes the Fade.” That’s something that’s actually interesting. But, he lied a lot more. And it actually really weakened his character. We played it so close with both Blackwall and Solas - both characters are the liars who don’t actually lie. They will tell you almost truths. With Blackwall - he never actually flat-out says “I am a Grey Warden.” If you ask him what it’s like being a Grey Warden he will say "Well a warden embodies this and a warden embodies that… I’ve been blessed in my travels.” You know, he never actually quite says “I’m a Warden.” With Solas it’s the same way with the hand wave of ‘in the Fade’. I would start putting ‘in the Fade’ at the end of a lot of sentences. “Yeah turns out that all of the stuff you thought was true in history was wrong… because I saw it…. in the Fade.”

In revision 2, he lied a lot more. On the one hand it worked, on the other hand it made him less tragic, more of jerk when we got to the reveal. So that is how we got to what we made him into: this character who is intelligent, wise… Solas will think very carefully before he tells you anything and anything he tells you is exactly as much as he wants you to know. That actually led to one of the funny little game moments - one of the last things we do is add the places where characters will approve or disapprove. I think what I want Solas to approve us is you actually asking questions . He’s kind of unique in that regard - What Solas approves us is people who are interested in finding out knowledge. Whether they are finding it out from him or they’re talking with other people, Solas wants people to explore, he wants people to find information, he wants people to learn. What he disapproves of, honestly, more than what you do, is in many ways how you do it. You can do the thing that he wants you to do, but if you do it in a knee-jerk way, Solas hates that. He wants to know that you are carefully considering your options and taking a measured approach.

Time: 12:16

When it comes the characterization of a character that you’ve already been give at least some sort of name to. We know that this character is some sort of trickster god - when you were trying to develop and make him some a stand-alone character, did you ever have to rely on what the mythos already established of this particular kind of eighth-seat god that maybe a lot people hadn’t heard a lot about?

Well, I think, like we talked about before, one of the great things about the Dragon Age universe is everything that you learn in a codex entry is something that someone else heard in a story and wrote it down somewhere and you’re reading half of the book. So the good news on that is anything we wanted to do with Fen’Harel, there was so little and what was in there was already so sketchy that we had all the freedom we needed to play with him.

That turned out to be a nice thing because I think if we had someone that was completely by-the-books, already established, their character already given, it would feel like more of a letdown to write that as a character or you would have to play against type, you’d have to do something completely different to show he wasn’t just what the stories wrote about him. And, you know, in some ways that is both liberating but also disappointing to people who might have liked the original stories. This was a fun experience of getting to fill in some of the gaps.

The only thing I think we had to struggle against is that anyone who hears “trickster” or anyone who hears “oh, he’s chaotic and unpredictable” it feels like there is a natural urge to go to “He’s Loki in the Avengers. He’s the guy who’s gonna make large grand-standing plans.” Or, you know, “He’s the Riddler, who’s gonna leave clues to test you.” We had to get away from that: “Let’s tone that back a little bit, let’s not have him be the Jack Nicholson Joker version of the Dread Wolf.”

That’s quite a quote.

You got Dorian as a large, grandiose , extravagant figure and it would have been easy to have him go that way. It was fortunate that we had Dorian as the mage who had the larger-than-life persona already to make Solas be the quiet one.

Time: 15:21

Was there ever an instance where you were really pushed with giving some indicators to the player that Solas may have some connection to this going through the gameplay? Because you do see a lot statues of Fen’Harel. There’s many instances of where you’re discussing it, you’re traveling through those lands. Where do you walk that line, how do you walk that line, or do you just completely disregard it whatsoever?

The goal we had is we wanted the very careful players, the very sensitive players, who were playing attention and watching every scene with Solas to know that something was up and to want more answers and then go to “OH MAN” as soon as the stinger after the credits rolled. But we wanted most players to just go “Oh, okay, he’s like ‘Fade nerd.’ He’s like ‘hippie guy.’”

The other thing we wanted was everyone on their second playthrough, as soon as they talked to Solas to be like “Oh, man, he’s just saying it. He just flat-out said it right there and I missed it completely the first time!” I think we called it the “inevitable in retrospect”- or the “slap the forehead on the second playthrough” style of writing, where we wanted people to see that the most interesting thing about the trickster god is he’s not actually that great of a liar - He is almost telling you a lot of the time. And, you know, some of the tragedy is it that you never had the chance to actually ask, “Wait -are you Fen’harel?”

Time: 17:13

We talked about leaving breadcrumbs, what that meant. Now the big turn, the big scene at the ending: How did this come about, were you really involved in that sort of process and are you happy with it?

Oh, I’m absolutely happy with it. It went through several iterations,. Mike was hugely involved. The writing was definitely done by Dave; it was a huge crit path moment. He had me give a look at the Solas voice, I think I looked at it, I don’t think I actually changed a single word in the final one.

We had versions where after the main plot it was actually going to be a full plot where you the player went and were actually present when Solas confronts Mythal. We had a part where we said, “Wow that’s too big, a lot of players are gonna miss that, we’ll make it a DLC.” So it was gonna be a separate DLC where that happened. At one point we said “No, this is too big, we actually - let’s cut it and address it next game.” So it was going to be this thing that we pushed off into some future content.

I am really happy with what we went with, because, I think, you know, for my money, that short, little Marvel-style, after-the-credits stinger is what we needed. We needed something so that everyone who was paying attention and everyone who was really invested could go “oh my god!” And go, “Okay, so, just in case you were wondering, we’re not done, we have more stories to tell, and we are confident enough in what we are doing that we are willing to throw that ball.” That stinger is essentially us throwing a football to future us, trusting that we are going to catch it. Because, you know, at the end, we had that level of confidence. We felt that we had that level of confidence, we felt we made a really good game. Dave led an amazing team of writers, and I’m really touched that he has the confidence to believe that I’ll be able to carry that on for him.

Time: 19:49

When we spoke to Dave, one of the big moments that he mentioned, was when he created kind of a long-term idea for what’s going to happen in the Dragon Age universe. And to hear him say it, he mentioned that what he originally wanted for Dragon Age: Inquisition couldn’t happen - it was far too big - it wouldn’t work. And you guys had talked about taking that concept, finishing Inquisition somewhere in the middle of that concept arc, and then using at least an influence or something like that to affect the franchise going forward. Speaking with you now, as someone who has taken up the reins, do you know what I’m talking about? Am I talking crazy? Where do you see it going?

Um…

Reasonably - of what you can say on this.

So here’s the last scene of the next game… (laughs). I think there’s an extent to which no plan really survives contact with the audience when it comes to video games. We look at how fans react, we look at what hit, what rang true with everyone. You know, it’s funny, having people react angrily actually isn’t as bad as having people ignore things sometimes. Having people react angrily means they were definitely emotionally engaged, so you know you hit something there. Whereas having fans go, “I don’t know, fine, I guess, whatever” and move on means, “Okay, I don’t know if that’s what we want to go back to. We didn’t actually get anything from them there, they didn’t actually remember that later.” So that’s a phase that comes after every game we ship. We look at what hit, what missed, and where we want to go from there.

Now that said, Dave’s future plan is, I think, fantastic, epic, and heartbreaking. Our plan is to use that as our starting point. To look at where we want to go, what we want to do, and it will not be - and I, you know, Dave and I have talked about this - it will not be the story that Dave would tell if he were still here as lead writer. Because it could never be that. We can get into that when we talk about Cole a little bit, but if I tried to do that I would just be doing a bad impersonation of Dave Gaider and no one is ever going to be as good at that as Dave is. My goal going forward is to, as lead, put my own spin on that process, put my own spin on the plots going forward, on the thematic elements, while keeping those same thematic elements that we had. Because, I think, what Dave has set in motion in three games, countless DLCs and expansions, is something that can endure: The idea that no choice is ever really that easy and that the great events always stem from human-understandable motivations.

So, that is where I think where we are going to go, as vaguely as I can say.

Time: 23:30

Speaking of specifically to Solas: His continuation of the story. Adding that little “Marvel moment” at the end - what do you think that did for the crit path and the overall arc of the story that players experienced in Dragon Age: Inquisition. Do you think they would have been more satisfied if there was a DLC or is that just us gamers complaining because we can’t get everything we want right away?

Well, I think you want to leave people wanting more. “Man I wish you guys had done more” is a better problem to have than “Man I wish you guys had done less.” So, I think, looking at it from inside the studio, we didn’t have the resources to do much more than we did. So it was never going to be the big moment right then anyway. From my perspective, the reason I’m really happy we have it is, like I said, I thought it was a vote of confidence. The team is still the Dragon Age team and it is still the writers and designers who did everything else, who made such wonderful characters and were responsible for such fantastic plots.

Time 25:10

Well, again, looking at that in its completion, it’s good to see that even a character that needed to give you a stinger in your estimation didn’t take away, I guess, from the overall story you were trying to tell.

Well, thank you. Yeah it was obviously the moment we were building toward, but again, the goal was even if we didn’t have that stringer, he was still an interesting enough character that people would have not felt cheated that he was in the party.

Time: 25:35

One of the most beautiful scenes I think in Dragon Age Inquisition is the scene that you get with Solas if you play as a female elf Inquisitor. Talk a little bit about that choice to have this romance option very, very specific. It’s race- and gender- specific. Why that scene - what that scene meant and a lot of the subtext, because it is a very rich sequence of scenes, not just one. And, I think it’s really one of the most interesting romances in the game.

I love that scene because that scene for me shows how far we’ve gone past - not the make myself irrelevant anymore - but how far we’ve gone with the digital acting. Jonathan Epp the cine-designer for that scene put it together and when you take everything that Gareth David Lloyd - the voice actor - everything he did on his lines. And just putting so much tragedy, and making it clear in every line that he wants to say more than he can. And with Jon Epp the cine-designer, just in the wordless scenes: showing the tragedy, showing the heartbreak, showing how much he does genuinely care against his better judgement, and how he finally forces himself to step away.,

You know how I said when we were talking about the Iron Bull - everything, every major moment we do, is there for a specific type of player fantasy fulfillment. And you know, not all types of fantasies are the happy ones. There’s a reason why The Phantom of the Opera was on Broadway for so many years and it’s not because it has a happy ending.

The Phantom of the Opera isn’t exactly the theme for the romance - the razor was something closer to almost professor and student in some ways. He definitely comes across as a mentor in some ways. When he finally steps back it is him beating himself up, not you, saying “Wow what I have done here is actually really unfair to you, and you, player, at the time don’t know that I’m beating myself up because I’m actually 1000s of years old and not the person you think I am and it’s disrespectful to you for me to continue this relationship.” So it’s a very moral perspective for our ancient, quasi-evil, trickster god to come with.

Time: 28:41

And it’s amazing because it’s another instance of content that so few players would actually get an opportunity to see. When it comes to making it that specific, I guess, why was that choice made? Because usually a lot of your content - most of the Dragon Age content - it’s very easy to get really rich, wonderful characters right in your face and have those wonderful “eat-em-up” experiences, why for this one was it such a steep price to get in?

You know, I won’t lie, a lot of it came from some of our designers. Some of the women in the design department really, really loving his voice and saying, “You are absolutely fools if you do not make him romance-able in some capacity.” And, really, his story overall is - and, you know, I think we’ve only hinted at that but I think we have hinted at it enough that I can at least say this part of it - his story isn’t a happy one. His story is one, where, if you look at him and Mythal, there is clearly some grief, there is clearly some tragedy. And, adding in the option - even for players who don’t take it - on my end as a writer, knowing that some players will have this as a star-crossed, forbidden romance, you know, it makes him more sympathetic. It’s important to me as a writer because when you’re writing about someone who, according to Flemeth, is at least somewhat responsible for the bad guy getting the magical item that he used to blow up half a mountain in the prologue, it’s important to have something in there that you can always have, as a writer, look at as your touchstone and go “This is a real person. This is someone who experiences sadness. This is someone who falls in love.” Even if he doesn’t do it with that Inquisitor on that playthrough, this is always someone who can be like that.

Time: 30:58

Where do you see a character like Solas ending up?

(Big sigh) Musical theater.

(laughs) Right when we reach those beautiful moments, Patrick!

I think that it is fantastic that people have emotionally engaged with Solas and I hope we get a chance to explore that in some future content.

Alright and that’s the most that we’re getting right now.

Time: 31:37

Oh, and here’s a little tie in: Here Lies the Abyss, the demon that spoke to Solas - what was all that about, what was that going on?

Oh yes - the demon who speaks perfect Elven!

Yes perfectly to him, and if you remember any of that - did you have anything to do with that?

Yes, Here Lies the Abyss was mine. It was a fun plot. It was a terrifyingly difficult plot, because - I’m not sure how clear this is to players that have one done one playthrough or with one import state - but your key characters throughout the events at Adamant Fortress and then the events of the Fade, it’s a customizable Hawke. Which means it could be a male Hawke or a female Hawke and within that, Hawke from Dragon Age 2 is characterized by one of three different attitudes: friendly, grim, or sarcastic. So, that’s three attitudes times two genders, that’s six different Hawkes and three different possible Grey Wardens: Alistair, Loghain, or Stroud. So, the process of going through Adamant Fortress and then going through the Fade was a crazy juggling act of trying to keep track of “Okay, now one of these five people, these five Schrodinger��s cat quantum people, will say this line, and then another of these five Schrodinger’s cat quantum people will respond with this line.”

It’s important to remember that as we went through everything in Adamant Fortress and the Fade was taking place in that contest. There was a long period time when we were looking at that really going, “Okay, I just have to hope this actually makes sense when it’s nothing but Alistair and my sarcastic female Hawke.”

But, to actually answer your question. As I recall, the Nightmare, who as a friendly, chipper guy was basically - I do basically two types of villains: I do the villain who thinks he or she is the hero, and is misguided and has opposed goals, and is kind of tragic and tortured in that way. And then I do the mean-girl villain who says snotty high school insults.

That’s it - that’s the gambit.

Well, just about, yes. I’m looking forward to see who writes the villain in the future Dragon Age games - so get ready for either tragic pathos or really, really good high school mean-girl zingers.

As I recall, he was speaking Elven to Solas and if I remember right, he said, “Your pride is responsible for everything that has gone wrong” and I think he said “You will die alone.” And then Solas said something that translates to either “Nothing is known for certain” or “Not necessarily.”

And what does all that mean?

Well I think it’s fascinating that people are emotionally engaged, and I hope we have the chance -

It was a very asked question - it was a question that was asked a lot. Specific to that.

Oh, I’m not surprised, and I hope one day that we can tell you. But, obviously, that demon knows that Solas is hurting and Solas feels guilty about some stuff and really wanted to dig in there, and Solas was shouting back.

Literally just describing what happened (laughs). All right, so something that will clearly be talked about in other games.

TIme: 36:22

Dealing with this particular quest I really think that this was one opportunity to involve the Grey Wardens in a story, and a world, that kind of progressingly, after the first game had less and less of a need to exist - let alone in the world - but in the main characters arc. Talking to David I remember initially there was some idea for this particular mission they would just fall into the hole and be hanging out in the Deep Roads, and having out with the dwarves, so tell us a little bit about this creation.

A lot of the process of writing these large plots, like I talked about the razor, you figure out what the core concept is, you always start with a lot of things, and in most cases what you then end up having to do is cut. And if you’re not someone in the studio, talking about having to cut things sounds like you’re losing awesome content, you’re ruining what would have been clearly the best part of the plot. Inside the studio though, most cases what you’re cutting is the stuff that didn’t actually help tell the story you wanted to tell.

So yes in the original version, in a very early draft, actually this was before I was actually on the plot - this predates me - there was, yes, going into the Deep Roads, and when you fell in instead of ending up in the Fade you ended up down in the dark. And finding out what the Grey Wardens in this version of the story had been involved with the Architect from Dragon Age: Awakening. It was an interesting direction, and it was, I think, a very cool direction, but it did not help tell the story of the Inquisition. It was more a story of “Hey, if we wanted to do more with the Hero of Fereldan, here is an interesting place we could go” and it did not help tell the story of “What is the Inquisition doing?” “What is Corypheus doing?”, “How do these two organizations bounce off each other and who’s caught in the middle?” So trying to come to terms with the Grey Wardens in this game not being the protagonists, not being the group that is in the center of the action but being the group that is caught in the middle of this power struggle was something that led to us having to eventually do the re-jiggering that got us to the plot you saw.

#i remember this took forever to transcribe lol #much respect to the people and computers who do this for a living #dragon age #patrick weekes #solas #reblog

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crashdevlin · 4 years ago

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Centerfold 4- Memory’s Been Sold

Centerfold Masterlist

Author’s Note: Written for Meghan who requested some fluffy A/B/O smut and then I came up with an idea and ran with it. Smut will start after the plot is established. Also, this is gonna go toward my @spnabobingo squares. This chapter fills my Slutty Omega square and is rated E for Explicit.

Summary: Dean is living the normal-boring life with Lisa. When he opens the newest Playboy, he gets the shock of his life.

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Beta!Lisa, Alpha!Dean x Reader (memory)

Word count: 2083

Story Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, 18+! HERE BE SEX!! DON’T READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!! , masturbation, pornography, mentions of multiple partners, mentions of fem-fem porn

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean pulled his pickup into the gas station down the street from Lisa’s house...his house. He had a house. He had a home, a family, an 8-5 job on a construction crew. He had...a real life. A real boring life. He was bored, but he supposed it was normal to feel bored, right?

“Hey, Jerry. The coffee fresh?” Dean asked as he walked into the convenience store.

“Half hour old,” the clerk, Jerry, answered with a smile. “And, uh, it’s Tuesday!”

Dean chuckled as he grabbed a thick paper cup and poured dark, bitter liquid into it. “New mags came in, huh?”

“Yeah. The Penthouse center is hot as hell, man. Oh, and the Playmate of the Month is the hottest omega I’ve ever fuckin’ seen!”

Dean laughed as he fitted the top on the cup. “Well, bring ‘em out, man. You know I’m gonna buy ‘em.” He took a drink as he walked up to the counter. Jerry had a Penthouse and a Playboy on the counter already. “They’re that good, huh?”

“Dude...especially the omega Playmate, man. She is smoking hot.”

Dean set the coffee on the counter and picked up the Playboy, slipping it out of the sleeve and looking at the cover. The cover was a woman, Taffy Rose according to the tiny script on the bottom next to the photographer credit, in a strawberry-print bikini and bunny mask. Hot, but nothing special. Nothing different or new. But he flipped the magazine open to the center and gasped.

“Holy shit.” The bunny mask was gone, her body on full display except the bits of skin hidden by the pink feather boa. His throat went dry. His cock got hard in jeans. His head felt like it might explode.

“I know, right?!” Jerry exclaimed, happily. “Isn’t she the hottest thing you’ve ever seen?”

“Yeah. She’s the hottest thing I’ve ever…” Dean’s voice trailed off as he focused on her neck. No mark. He hoped they hadn’t photoshopped one out. She was the hottest thing he’d ever touched, tasted, the best thing he’d ever missed out on...Taffy Rose, Y/n Y/l/n...his omega. Dean cleared his throat and tried to close the magazine, but he couldn’t. She’d grown up so beautiful and he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. “She, uh...she been in anything I might’ve seen?”

“I don’t know, Dean. I’m Googling her name as soon as I get home. I suggest you do the same, man.”

“Yeah. Uh...I’m just gonna...I’m just gonna take the Playboy. I’ll get the Penthouse next time, Jer.” Dean threw a ten on the counter and walked out with the magazine, leaving his coffee behind and not even caring. He sat in his truck cab for a few minutes, staring at her photo. Y/n went into porn. Whoever would have thought that sweet little innocent young woman with the overprotective parents would- “Actually, no, that makes sense.”

He rubbed his hand over his erection as he looked at the ‘fuck me’ look in her eyes. It didn’t take long for his mind to drift back to her under him, holding him, letting out gasping cries as he fucked her, that look in her eyes as she dug her nails into his shoulders.

His cock softened as he remembered getting on the phone with her to tell her he was leaving.

He felt like he was going to cry when the line clicked. “Y/l/n Residence!”

“Y/n, it’s Dean.”

“Oh, hey! I just got finished washing every surface you touched,” she said, giggling. That giggle tugged at his heart. “I can’t wait to see you again, though. It was so worth the cleaning time.”

“Yeah, uh...it was awesome, baby, but...my, uh, my dad called.”

“Oh?” Dean could almost hear the heartbreak in her voice.

“Yeah. He...got word of a job in Connecticut. He’s pickin’ us up tomorrow.” There was silence on the line for a minute. “Y/n?”

“You’re leaving?” she squeaked.

“Yeah.” Dean had to fight the tears. “Yeah, we’re leaving.”

“But...what about...I...am I gonna get to see you again at all?”

“Not unless you can sneak out tonight. Dad’ll be here in the morning. We’ll be gone before noon.”

“Oh God.”

Dean took a deep breath and started the truck, driving home with a pit in his stomach. He immediately hid the magazine in his desk and sat in the rolling desk chair. He looked around to make sure Lisa and Ben were both out of the den area, hoping they were out of the house, before pulling up Google and searching for ‘Taffy Rose omega xxx’. Several thousand results popped up, so Dean went to the first. A video on Pornhub labeled ‘Sweet omega Taffy seduces her best friend Kat at a sleepover’. Dean swallowed and licked his lips, turning his volume down almost all the way and clicking on the video. She looked fairly innocent, without looking fake, which was a feat of its own considering he knew he was watching porn. The other actress wasn’t pulling it off anywhere near as well, especially the overacted reaction to ‘Taffy’ kissing her.

Dean could remember making out with her when she was just a little younger than the 18 year old she was pretending to be on his screen and it filled him with yearning to see her wrap her arms around this other woman’s neck and pull her in for a passionate kiss. He watched a little longer before hitting the back button and started searching through more and more results.

‘Omega Taffy Rose and her hot omega stepmom’ ‘Taffy Rose fucks her best friends’ ‘Sunny Sweets and Taffy Rose Turth or dare’ ‘Batgirl and Supergirl caught by Poison Ivy’

“Holy shit, she’s the hottest Supergirl,” Dean whispered, as he pulled his dick out of his jeans and started pumping it. It occurred to him, as he lazily jacked off and clicked through the ‘Taffy Rose’ tag on XNXX .com, that she was always with other women, usually other omegas. It took him forty minutes of clicking to find ‘Beta Brad Bull wants to know what omega tastes like’.

Not a single alpha in any of her videos, and not a mark on her neck, despite the fact that so many of her omega co-stars had marks that they had failed to cover no matter the makeup they used. And Brad and Taffy didn't go further than oral.

"That's weird," Dean whispered, tucking his dick back into his boxers but leaving the jeans open in a V. "Usually 'mega actresses are getting knotted every other scene."

He clicked off of the porn site and went back to Google, searching 'Taffy Rose alpha'. He found several blogs asking why a porn actress was unmated, some wondering how she could be in this business without fear of being taken by force, and some judging her for doing porn in the first place, but eventually he found an interview with her. He turned up the volume a bit and started it.

"Taffy, you have just burst on the scene and you've been staring in so many films this past year, it's crazy how popular you are all of a sudden!"

"Yeah, it is. I mean, I just started this as a fun way to make some money and now it's a full-on career!" Dean gasped at her voice. It was deeper than he remembered, seasoned with age, but that giggle at the end was exactly the same. That giggle made his heart hurt.

"Well, as long as you're having fun, right?"

"Exactly!"

"Now, I've noticed, and I'm not the only one, that you seem to favor lesbian scenes. Is that a personal preference, a reference to your actual sexuality, or-"

"Oh, no! I love guys. I live for cock, but…” Dean’s dick twitched at that. Why did her voice sound so musical...especially saying something so filthy? “I don't fuck alphas and there's a lot more work for an omega willing to fuck another omega than an omega willing to fuck a beta."

"Now, why don't you fuck alphas? It would seem a natural thing for you, right?"

She looked down, a bit of the bashful teen girl showing on her face. "Um...I just...it's dangerous, since I'm not mated...and it's special, ya know?” She bit her bottom lip and looked back up and Dean’s jaw dropped. “I may be a slut, but I can't fuck some random alpha and take his knot. I've never taken a knot and...probably never will."

"Fuck, I'd give anything to have you on my knot, Y/n," Dean whispered as the door opened and Lisa and Ben entered. Dean scrambled to exit out of the browser and cover the open jeans with his t-shirt. Reality crashed down on him. There was his family. There was his beta girlfriend and her son...his boy whether by blood or not. “H-hey, honey. How was work?”

“It was good. How was your day, Dean?” she asked, walking over to the desk in the den.

“It was-it was a day,” he answered, tilting his head to allow her to kiss his cheek.

“What’s this?” Lisa asked, pulling open the half-closed desk drawer. She gasped and slammed the drawer closed when she saw the magazine. “I cannot believe you!” she snapped.

“Come on, Lees, it’s just a Playboy,” Dean defended.

“‘Just a Playboy’? Dean, you’re living with a teen boy now! You can’t have this stuff! You can’t expose him to-”

Dean scoffed and stood, looking down into her eyes. “Lisa, I promise you that boy knows about porn and knows how to find the good stuff online. My Playboy is probably too tame for him.”

“How dare you? Ben would never-”

“Yeah? Check his browser history.” Dean rolled his eyes and stepped around her, walking out of the house and to the garage. He grabbed the cover and pulled it up just enough to open the door and climb into the front seat of the Impala. He took a minute to let a wave of nostalgia roll over him at the feel and smell of his baby before he settled back, legs kicked out and jeans shimmied down enough to pull his cock out.

He closed his eyes and wrapped his fingers around his base. He could see Y/n in his mind. He could hear her laugh. He could see her smile, the way her eyes lit up when he said her name. He started moving his hand up and down his length as he remembered the way Y/n looked at him the first time he sunk his dick into her.

He ran his thumb across the head and gasped as he remembered her digging her nails into his shoulder muscles, how innocent she sounded when she said ‘I think you can go faster’, the way she whimpered with every thrust, the way she wrapped her legs around his waist and babbled his name, the way she whispered ‘harder’ and thanked him when he grabbed her white wood headboard and started pounding into her like the alpha he was. He wanted nothing more than to knot her, but she couldn’t take it.

She could take it now. He wanted to fill her and knot her and make her scream. He wanted to hear her moan and giggle and gasp and-

His breath caught as cum shot out of his cock, splashing over his hand. He gasped in a breath before another stream of semen left him. “Fuck.” Dean fucked himself through his climax until there was absolutely nothing left for him to give and then he slumped into the leather.

He was suddenly filled with despair. He found her. His omega, the one that got away, the one woman his mind returned to in quiet moments. He found her, but she was in the San Fernando Valley in California and he was in Cicero...with Lisa and her boring, normal life. Lisa and her son that she coddled. Beta Lisa that sent him away when he went into rut, who would never be able to take a knot. He loved that Lisa took him in, nursed him back from the brink of breakdown, but the yearning he had pushed down since he was sixteen years old was now back with a burning vengeance.

And there was nothing he could do about it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Kitchen Sink - @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @wasabiwitteks @rainbowkisses31 @rissbennett @mariekoukie6661 @officiallyunofficialperson @dolphincliffs @mrs-meghan-winchester @gayspacenerd @foxyjwls007 @ilovefanfic86 @marvelfansworld @f-yeahfandoms @wonderlandfandomkingdom @hhiggs @sev3nruby @hobby27 @paintballkid711 @divadinag @thewhiterabbit42 @fantasymyth-1 @queenoftheunderdark @cosicas-cuquis @superfanficnatural @letsby @supernatural-bellawinchester @onethirstyunicorn @swinchester27 @chalicia @sunnyroadtrips @screechingartisancashbailiff @death-unbecomes-you Hunter Tags - @atc74 @sandlee44 @spnbaby-67 @kalesrebellion @tumbler-tidbits @hoboal87 @stoneyggirl @kbl1313 @cookiechipdough @mrswhozeewhatsis @winchesterxfamilybusiness @holylulusworld @pretty-fortune @screechingartisancashbailiff @we-are-all-a-bunch-of-idjits @imperiusimpala

Gaga For Green Eyes Tags- @typicalweirdbookworm @deanmonandnegansbitch @jadesupernatural @stoneyggirl @4fareader @squirrelnotsam @lyarr24 @akshi8278 @pretty-fortune @we-are-all-a-bunch-of-idjits

Centerfold Tags- @mychemicalimagines @moron225 @ladyofmaidensandwine @that-one-gay-girl @roonyxx @teresa-67

#cassie writes stuff #spn fanfic #reader-insert #a/b/o dynamics #alpha!dean #omega!reader #lisa braeden #pining #pornstar!reader

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emy-loves-you · 4 years ago

Text

Wrong Numbers and Useless Gays (Chapter 7)

Happy Halloween!

Warning: Minor burns

Chapter 6 | Masterlist | Chapter 8

V- (8:04 AM) Happy first day of Halloween!

L- (8:05 AM) Virgil, it’s October 1st. Halloween isn’t for another 30 days.

V- (8:05 AM) We must be celebrating different holidays. Halloween lasts from October 1st to October 31st. For the entire month, you watch cheesy Halloween movies and decorate your home in black, purple, and orange. Spiders and bats become your daily esthetic. There are no exceptions to this rule.

P- (8:06 AM) I have arachnophobia and most of our decorations are green. Is that alright, Kiddo?

V- (8:06 AM) … There is one exception.

L- (8:07 AM) This is preposterous.

R- (8:07 AM) Calm down, Specs. Let our Dark and Stormy Knight have his holiday. We don’t want another incident of Pi Day, do we?

V- (8:08 AM) What happened on Pi Day?

P- (8:08 AM) Logan wanted to spend the day memorizing as many digits of Pi as possible. Roman told him that Pi day was only for baking pies. Logan decided to etch as many digits of pi as he could fit into the crust of a pie before baking it. Sadly, baking isn’t Lolo’s exPIEtise.

R- (8:09 AM) He almost burnt the house down. It was hilarious.

L- (8:09 AM) I will back down from this argument, if only to preserve my dignity. Since you decided to text us at 8 AM, I assume that you have plans to celebrate your “first day of Halloween?”

V- (8:10 AM) Yep. I’ve got my Scooby-Doo VHS tapes, an entire gallon of iced coffee, and enough decorations to cover every square inch of my house. Life is good.

R- (8:11 AM) Wait which tapes?

V- (8:11 AM) Zombie Island, Witch’s Ghost, Alien Invaders, and Cyber Chase. The 4 best Scooby-Doo movies to ever exist.

R- (8:12 AM) Now I REALLY wanna watch Scooby-Doo

V- (8:12 AM) What’s stopping you?

L- (8:12 AM) The desire to have a stable income

R- (8:13 AM) I’m starring as Van Helsing for our theatre’s production of Dracula. I’ve got rehearsals and performances almost every night.

V- (8:13 AM) Sorry. I’ll watch it in your stead.

R- (8:14 AM) Gee, how thoughtful of you

(October 8th)

L- (2:32 PM) Virgil, did you seriously buy MORE chocolates?

V- (2:32 PM) Do you like them?

L- (2:32 PM) That’s not the point.

L- (2:33 PM) This is the 7th set of sweets you’ve sent us in the past 8 weeks. First of all, this is extremely unhealthy. Second of all, how much money have you spent on these? Third of all, you tend to send chocolates specifically when you’re planning something that we disapprove of. So what, pray tell, are you planning this time?

V- (2:34 PM) Wow, I didn’t realize you were keeping track of that.

L- (2:34 PM) I keep track of everything. Quit ignoring the questions.

V- (2:35 PM) Okay. First of all, if they make you happy it doesn’t matter. Second of all, if it makes you happy it doesn’t matter. Third of all, if it makes you happy it doesn’t matter :)

L- (2:35 PM) …

V- (2:35 PM) Besides, you wouldn’t want me to STOP sending you sweets, would you?

L- (2:36 PM) … Curse you and your knowledge of my sweets addiction.

V- (2:36 PM) :)

(October 15th)

L- (5:47 PM) VIRGIL!

V- (5:48 PM) Hm?

L- (5:48 PM) DID YOU SERIOUSLY TP OUR HOUSE?!?!?

V- (5:49 PM) You have no proof

L- (5:50 PM) [*Photo Attachment*]

[The photo is of a door. There is a square of TP taped to the door, the words “VIRGIL WAS TOTALLY NOT HERE” written in sharpie]

V- (5:50 PM) See? I was totally not there.

V- (5:51 PM) And I sent you pre-apology chocolates, so you can’t get mad!

L- (5:52 PM) I CAN STILL GET MAD

V- (5:52 PM) NO YOU WON’T OR I’LL STOP GETTING YOU CHOCOLATES

L- (5:53 PM) YOU WOULDN’T

V- (5:53 PM) TRY ME BITCH

R- (5:55 PM) I don’t know WHAT you did, but Logan called me, screeched your name, and hung up. Keep up the good work, storm cloud ;)

(October 22nd)

V- (3:42 PM) Hey Pat?

P- (3:42 PM) What’s up, Kiddo?

V- (3:42 PM) You bake, right?

P- (3:43 PM) It would be very hard to run a bakery if I couldn’t, Kiddo!

V- (3:43 PM) True

V- (3:43 PM) So what do you do if your cookies catch on fire?

P- (3:43 PM) WHAT

V- (3:44 PM) [*Photo Attachment*]

[The photo is of an oven. The door is open, and inside is a tray of Pillsbury ghost sugar cookies. They are all on fire]

P- (3:44 PM) PUT IT OUT

V- (3:44 PM) HOW

P- (3:45 PM) DON’T YOU HAVE A FIRE EXTINGUISHER?!?!

V- (3:45 PM) WON’T THAT RUIN THE COOKIES?

P- (3:45 PM) THOSE COOKIES ARE GONERS. ACCEPT YOUR LOSS

V- (3:46 PM) [*Photo attachment*]

[The photo is of the same oven. The door is still open, yet the entire inside of the oven is covered in foam]

V- (3:46 PM) Now what?

P- (3:46 PM) First of all, turn off the oven.

V- (3:47 PM) Done

P- (3:47 PM) Okay. Now answer me this: HOW THE FUDGE DID YOU MANAGE TO CATCH PREMADE SUGAR COOKIES ON FIRE???

V- (3:48 PM) I DON’T KNOW! I JUST PUT THEM IN THE OVEN AND SUDDENLY THEY WERE ON FIRE

L- (3:48 PM) Are you alright, Virgil? Did you sustain any burns or other injuries?

P- (3:48 PM) HOLY STARS I SHOULD’VE ASKED! ARE YOU OKAY VIRGIL?

V- (3:49 PM) I’m fine. I burned my wrist but it’s not that bad.

L- (3:49 PM) Will you please send a picture of your injury?

V- (3:49 PM) [*Photo attachment*]

[The photo is of a left hand. The hand is long, slender, and pale. The nails are long and painted black with cat noses and whiskers. The person’s wrist has a minor burn wound, around the size of a golf ball]

L- (3:50 PM) You are correct, Virgil. It appears to be a minor burn, no need to contact the hospital. However, I would greatly appreciate it if you tend to your burn at your earliest convenience.

P- (3:50 PM) Go wrap up that burn, kiddo! Make sure you add burn cream, too!

P- (3:51 PM) AND OH MY GOSH I LOVE YOUR NAILS! They’re PAWsitively PURRfect!

L- (3:51 PM) Please stop

P- (3:52 PM) Alright. Wouldn’t wanna have a CATastrophe, would we?

L- (3:52 PM) Please. I beg of you.

V- (3:53 PM) Okay, all patched up. What do I do about my cookies?

L- (3:53 PM) Make sure your oven has fully cooled down before attempting to clean it.

P- (3:54 PM) AND DON’T DO THAT EVER AGAIN, MISTER!

P- (3:54 PM) You nearly gave me a heart attack!

V- (3:55 PM) Sorry, won’t happen again.

L- (3:55 PM) I assume that this means you will be buying post-apology sweets? I assure you that it is unnecessary, Virgil. Your health and safety are more important than confectionaries.

L- (3:57 PM) Virgil?

L- (3:57 PM) Please refrain from buying more sweets.

L- (3:58 PM) I’ve already gained 3.4 pounds alone from these “Gifts”

V- (3:58 PM) Too late, already bought them

P- (3:58 PM) You don’t have to, Kiddo!

P- (3:59 PM) And Lolo, don’t blame V on your weight gain. I know Ro’s not the only one sneaking whole jars of jelly from the cabinets at night.

L- (3:59 PM) Virgil, how much are you spending on these sweets?

V- (4:00 PM) Would it help if I said that I get a discount since I purchase chocolates almost weekly?

L- (4:00 PM) VIRGIL

V- (4:01 PM) :)

R- (6:58 PM) Why does all the interesting stuff happen while I’m at work?

V- (6:59 PM) Get wrecked Princey

R- (6:59 PM) :(

V- (7:00 PM) Don’t worry I got you sweets too

R- (7:00 PM) :)

(October 24th)

L- (2:32 PM) VIRGIL!

V- (2:33 PM) Did you get your sweets? Send me a pick! I didn’t get to see the end result

P- (2:33 PM) [*Photo Attachment*]

[The photo is of three vases, each of different colors. The light blue vase is filled with tulips made of white chocolate. There are also chocolate-covered straberry and a giant chocolate lollipop with the words “I appreciate you a chocoLOT!” The red vase is filled with milk chocolate roses and another chocolate lollipop that says “Good luck slaying Vampires!” The navy blue vase is the most elaborate (probably just to mess with Logan). It’s filled with dark chocolate tulips AND roses, with a whole jar of crofters nestled into the middle of the bouquet. It’s lollipop reads “Weight and Cost are just #s!”]

P- (2:34 PM) These are ADORABLE, Virgil!

L- (2:34 PM) How much did you spend on this, Virgil?

V- (2:34 PM) Did you not read your lollipop?

V- (2:35 PM) Don’t worry about it, I wouldn’t buy the chocolates if I couldn’t afford them :)

L- (2:35 PM) My digestive system can’t afford them.

V- (2:36 PM) Well I couldn’t give you pre-apology chocolates so I had to give you epic post-apology chocolates.

P- (2:37 PM) Well, I cannot wait to eat these! Seriously, I’ve already eaten half a tulip. And these vases will look so pretty holding ACTUAL flowers! Thank you so much, V! But remember, you don’t have to do this. We don’t need apology sweets!

V- (2:38 PM) I know, but it’s comforting to know that there’s at least ONE way I can interact with you guys beyond texting. I’m sorry that I’m still not comfortable talking face-to-face yet.

P- (2:38 PM) That’s completely fine, Kiddo! Take all the time you need. We’ll be here when you’re ready.

L- (2:39 PM) I agree.Though I still do not see the purpose of excessive spending on our behalf.

R- (2:39 PM) Well I find it extremely thoughtful, storm cloud. I would type an entire ballad of how caring and kind you are, but I must get back to work. I shall speak with you tonight, fair raven.

V- (2:40 PM) Thanks, guys. It means a lot to me.

(October 31st)

L- (10:17 AM) How are you feeling about your “final day of Halloween,” Virgil?

V- (10:18 AM) Incredibly depressed

P- (10:18 AM) Aww. Why’s that, Kiddo?

V- (10:19 AM) You guys know how I travel around with my friends, right?

V- (10:19 AM) Well apparently we have to travel out today. We won’t be back until tomorrow afternoon.

R- (10:20 AM) I’m deeply sorry, my precious stormcloud. If I may ask, why do you have to travel tonight?

V- (10:20 AM) My friends like to go to parties out of town, and I go to make sure they don’t get themselves killed.

P- (10:21 AM) I’m sorry you have to miss Halloween, Kiddo. I know how much you were looking forward to it.

V- (10:22 AM) I’m still gonna wear my costume. Just because I can’t celebrate at home doesn’t mean I can’t celebrate at all.

L- (10:22 AM) What costume have you decided to wear?

V- (10:23 AM) [*Photo attachment*]

[Photo is the bottom half of someone’s face. They’re smiling, with black lipstick and fake Vampire teeth. There’s red liquid running down their chin.]

P- (10:23 AM) That looks FANGtastic, Virgil!

L- (10:23 AM) I hope you have an amenable experience at the party, Virgil.

R- (10:24 AM) I agree! You look amazing and I hope you enjoy the party, storm cloud. Do not worry, I will watch The Nightmare Before Christmas in your stead!

V- (10:25 AM) Wow I feel so grateful

R- (10:25 AM) :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @arodynamic-enby @sanderssides-angst

#sanders sides fic #useless gays #LAMP fic #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders

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drummergirl231-2 · 4 years ago

Text

I don’t even know what to title this.

I’ve been trying to come up with a title for I don’t know how long and now I’m legit crying because I can’t even figure out how to start this post... so this will have to do.

I’m not okay. I can’t keep up with all this and everything going on in my life. I feel like I’m strapped into a car on a collision course for a brick wall and I’m just frozen in fear anticipating the impact.

Everything has kind of been spiraling out of control in my personal life (if you want you can skip to the bolded headings for what’s relevant to this blog).

My parents - whom a lot of you know about from my GoFundMe - are moving from California to Tennessee. I can’t afford to stay in California so I have to go with them (though they insist my going with them is my choice and that I totally have other options... but whatever. At least I’ll be out of California).

If my job can’t transfer me, I’ll lose it just when I was going to get the most hours (and therefore money) of the year, but my parents refuse to wait until after Christmas to sell.

My grandma recently died and even though my grandpa (step-grandfather) invited us up to the house at one point, his horrible son met us on the porch and rudely refused to let us in, telling us his father wasn’t seeing anyone. Now that his horrible son has left, grandpa invited my uncle and aunt up, but not my parents or me, and my uncle said he’s going to do what he can to bring us what we want of grandma’s. I didn’t get to say goodbye to my grandma because her death was sudden, and now I’m scared I won’t get to say goodbye to the only grandpa I’ve ever known, either, because I’m moving to Tennessee and he’s 89 and has heart problems and I’m scared he’ll die of a broken heart in every sense. I’d have liked to say goodbye to the house, too. My grandma didn’t want a funeral. She was one of those “Don’t fuss over me,” types who fussed over all of us. I have zero closure in this situation.

I have to get ready to move but have no idea how/when/where to start. I’m terrified of the 4 day journey to Tennessee, trapped in an SUV with my parents and five animals, including my poor elderly cat, Kira, whose anxiety makes mine look mild. I have Misophonia and so many food allergies I can’t eat out so I don’t know how I’ll do food for four days. My parents say they won’t bring the camping stove for me to warm up my lunches. It’s like they never raised an autistic child.

Things have been crazy for “Kristen,” me, but losing my grandparents, my home, possibly my job, and moving far from any family or friends I trust aside... things haven’t been easy for “DG,” me, either.

As badly as I want to start a youtube channel about Autism, Misophonia, food allergies, gut health, emotional abuse, etc., I cannot find the answers no matter how much I google when it comes to the tech problems I’ve faced. And I’m not even sure when I’d be able to record these videos because my parents are almost never gone. And when they are it’s not for long, and I just want to relax, and breathe, and be in the living room, and talk and sing out loud, and do all the things I don’t get to do when they’re here for just a little bit. I stay in my room so much I feel like I’m a diver holding my breath and as soon as they leave I can surface and gasp for air.

Also, I’m getting more and more self-conscious about my acne and this one tooth I have that’s crooked because my mom has enjoyed commenting on them lately and it makes me kind of scared to share my face with the internet and last night I legit had a dream about trying to get these things fixed with more braces and foundation. Like what even I literally don’t care about this stuff when people don’t comment on it. Why do I have to be so sensitive?

Problem is, I am figuring out why. I’ve been doing so much research on Narcissistic Personality Disorder and narcissistic abuse to try to understand my parents and childhood and young adult years, that not only have I been able to identify it in my abusers, but I’ve found some traits in myself. And I’ve searched and studied and tried to see if I have it and after this inward witch hunt I have to conclude I don’t have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but I have a few signs of vulnerable narcissism. Even if they’re not enough for a label, they’re definitely things I need to work on (things like hypersensitivity, victim mentality, sulking and shut down, self-sabotage, things like that... and now apparently vanity, but only when people frequently give me flack about my face). Trouble is I don’t know how to work on these because I have no mentor, no counselor/therapist, no pastor, nothin’. And most of the videos about Narcissism are about identifying it or surviving it as the victim, not growing past the traits, because full-blown narcissists generally don’t acknowledge their flaws and try to fix them. So I’m at this annoying and fruitless phase of “self-improvement” where I just frequently scold myself for my thoughts.

YouTube ambitions and flaws aside, I have people waiting for the next chapter of my fanfic, and no one’s been pushy or anything, but there’s this huge weight on me to write, write, write, but with everything else going on in my life I just feel stuck. Like my brain is just “NERP.” And I feel guilty, like I’m the biggest disappointment to people.

And then there’s this blog itself.

It’s begun to feel more like an obligation for me rather than recreation. Every week I dread the time after a new episode airs. I want to make posts at my pace, about what I want to talk about, like what I used to do.

But sometimes the link I get has a weird video player window that I can’t make the right size to make decent gifs, and sometimes I can’t even take screenshots because when I pause it it’ll have the play triangle in the middle of the screen and the bottom of the screen will get dark, or sometimes the link just stops working. So I wait for the episode to go up on watchcartoononline because that’s where it works best for me but in the meantime I’m missing out on the fandom being online and by the time the episode goes up I’m just like, “What if the post I make of this moment gets like zero notes because it’s already been giffed and talked about a million times and I’m late to the party? What if I’m disappointing everyone?”

I try to not post anything until I can post about the episode properly, and I’ve asked people not to send me asks or messages with episode spoilers until they’ve seen proof on my blog that I’ve seen the episode, but that hasn’t stopped them. I get spoilery asks anyway.

I get a link relatively quickly but mainly I ask for people to wait for proof I’ve seen the episode because I want a chance to get my own thoughts on the episode out first before people ask me about specific things or straight up demand I talk about what they want me to talk about on my blog.

For a couple weeks I even made all my posts and saved them as drafts first so real quick I could just post ‘em all in a row and get ‘em out, because I know the second I post one thing I’ll have everyone going “OMIGOSH SHE’S ONLINE,” and trying to send me asks and messages and I’ll be trying to juggle them all while trying to make more posts about what I want to talk about. I feel like I have to reply to those messages because if I don’t I’m scared they’ll see me make another post after they’ve sent their message and be like, “What the heck she’s online why won’t she reply to me?” So sometimes I’ll just stop posting and hope and pray they think they just missed me or something, which isn’t fair to them.

But then I’ll see something new on my dash - art from khionyohann, new screencaps for the upcoming episode that DuckTalks shared - and I’ll want to reblog it, but then I’ll think: “I can’t reblog anything... people will know I’m online then. And I still haven’t posted about the episode. I can’t do things out of order. They’ll think, ‘Why isn’t she talking about the new episode? Why isn’t she answering my asks? Why isn’t she replying to me?”

And by the time the episode gets posted on watchcartoononline (and as long as I don’t have a migraine and I’m not paralyzed with fear), I make my posts, but by then I feel like I’m super late and I don’t even know what the point is of me reblogging things anymore, if I even remember there were things I wanted to reblog.

My time here has become nothing but me trying to please people while simultaneously trying to hide from them.

So... blarg. All that to say, I’m closing my ask box for a while. And I’m sorry to disappoint people. I’m just so overwhelmed by everything right now. Extroverted thinking isn’t even a cognitive function that comes naturally to an INFJ! It’s utterly exhausting.

And while I do still want to do more posts about the latest episode, I hope you’ll understand that things are just crazy for me right now and I’m not in a good place. I’m trying to be okay and I’m trying to be so excited about an episode that I get motivated enough find ways to blog about it no matter what but I don’t have the energy. I want to reblog stuff, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I want to interact.

And for the few I consider true friends on here, please know I’m not asking you to leave me alone or anything. Just know I might not respond as soon as you message me... which, honestly, you’re probably all used to by now, but I still feel super guilty about it.

I just need to simplify my time on here a little bit because I’m not okay.

#personal post #probably the longest i'm-closing-my-ask-box announcement ever #is ask box one word or two when it's referring to tumblr?

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hermionemonica · 4 years ago

Text

The Road to Us, and Everything in Between: Chapter 5

(This is a no magic AU. There is no existence of the Miraculous or the superheroes in this universe.)

AO3 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 6

As the days passed, Marinette began to find it harder and harder to function properly in front of Adrien. She would get all blushy and stumble over her words. When Adrien looked at her, she lost the ability to think. And it was frustrating her. Why couldn't she just act like a normal human being? Adrien was her friend after all!

Adrien was incredibly understanding though. He did not get annoyed at all when Marinette took time to form coherent sentences around him. He didn't laugh at her when she bumped into stuff because she was staring at him. He only smiled softly and looked at her like she was some precious thing, and that was only making it worse!

One day, Marinette passed by some girls of the Business department gossiping in the cafeteria. Usually, she kept her distance from such crowds, but this time she stopped.

Because she heard Adrien's name.

“Hadn't you noticed? Adrien is head over heels for her!”

“Of course!”

“I want to say I'm jealous, but I'm low-key shipping them. Have you seen how cute they look together?”

“We should have guessed given how much time they spend together.”

Adrien... and a girl? Was it... was it her? After all, she hadn't seen Adrien hang out with any other girl in the university.

Should she talk to those girls? She wasn't very close with them, but it was okay to swoop in because she heard them talking about someone she knew? Someone who apparently was “head over heels for her"

In a rush of adrenaline, Marinette decided to take the risk.

“Hi,” she began nervously, as she approached the girls. “I thought I heard you talking about Adrien?”

“Oh, Marinette is here! You’d know everything about it, right?”

That was nowhere close to “We were only talking about you!”, which was the kind of reaction Marinette was expecting.

“Hmm? What are you talking about?”

“Adrien's girlfriend Chloe, of course!”

Wait, Chloe? That's not what her name was! Who were they talking about then? What was going on?

“I'm sorry, what was that?”

“C'mon Marinette, don't be a spoilsport! You are like the person who is closest to Adrien in the entire university! Who would know the inner details better? And you can trust us, we won't tell anyone...”

Marinette had stopped listening. She stood frozen in her place. Adrien... he was dating someone else?

She felt something tighten painfully in her chest, and breathing was suddenly not as easy as it used to be. She quickly excused herself and ran to the bathroom. The noises of the cafeteria were making her nauseous. She had barely managed to shut the door behind herself when her knees buckled underneath her, and she dropped to her floor. The walls were spinning around her. The buzzing in her head began to grow louder and louder, and she clutched her head in agony.

Marinette did not know how long she stayed there. Maybe an hour, maybe more. When the heaviness in her limbs subsided, she got up and dragged herself outside the building, into the university compound. She needed the quiet and fresh air to clear her head. She sat on one of the benches for a while, trying to control her breathing. She was actively trying to block out the thoughts that had brought about the attack, and she had grown used to doing that for a while. That helped. It had been a while since her last anxiety attack, and she had been doing pretty alright recently. That's why she had neglected to keep her meds in her bag.

After a while, she went home. She couldn't take the risk of staying in class that day, and she could afford to take the day off.

When Marinette opened the door to the bakery, her parents looked up from what they were doing, but with a glance at her face, they understood what was wrong. Her mother put the tray of macaroons that she was carrying on the counter, and rushed to support her daughter. She helped Marinette walk up the stairs to her room. Marinette took the medicines, and then her mother tucked her in bed. The exhaustion and the action of the medicine took effect quickly, and soon she drifted off into a dreamless slumber.

She woke up a few hours later, but she still felt tired and dizzy. She tried to sit up, but the movement made her head spin. So she lay down and stared at the ceiling, trying to remember what had happened.

Adrien...

It all came to her in a rush, squeezing her heart painfully. For a moment, Marinette wondered if she had imagined the whole of it; the meds sometimes addled her brain in strange ways. But as her head cleared, she could recollect everything more vividly. Her heart might not want to accept it, but her mind knew it was true. Marinette tried to keep her breathing even, as she took the risk to think about it. Because she needed to organise it all in her head, else she might have another attack anytime.

There was no reason why Adrien could not date a girl. He was kind, smart, handsome and rich, of course he had plenty of admirers. And he was at liberty to be with anyone he liked. Marinette would be a fool if she thought that just because she was the only girl Adrien would hang out at university, meant he didn't have any other female friends. He did have a life outside the university after all!

It took her some time to accept it though. When did her little crush how into such a big thing as this? It felt petty of her, to be unhappy with her friend's happiness. But could she blame herself? She loved Adrien! She was in love with him! Was it really wrong of her to hope that she would be the one for him? After all the attention he had been showering on her over the last few months? Huh, Adrien probably saw her as just a friend. And that thought hurt her in ways she could not explain.

For the next few days, Marinette did her best to keep her distance from Adrien at the university. She would pretend she didn't see him when he waved at her. She would turn around and walk away if she saw him approaching. She had no idea why she was doing this, only that the thought of being around him or talking to him made her feel like she couldn't breathe. She noticed how Adrien's face fell when she walked away from him, but she really couldn't do anything about it.

Despite Marinette's best efforts, one day, Adrien finally managed to corner Marinette. She was walking along the corridor when Adrien took her by surprise and pulled her into an empty classroom.

“Okay, what's going on?” Adrien asked, crossing his arms at his chest.

Marinette could feel her heartbeat getting faster. How was she going to get herself out of this? She kept her eyes fixed to the floor, doing her best not to look at the boy standing in front of her. What was she supposed to reply? But even then, she could feel his gaze directed at her, and it was making her nervous and uncomfortable.

“Please Marinette,” Adrien went on in a softer voice, “tell me what happened? Why are you not talking to me? Did I do something to hurt you? Are you mad at me?” He took both of Marinette's hands in his, which made her look up at him with widened eyes. “Please talk to me, Marinette,” he almost begged.

Marinette took a deep breath. Adrien would probably not let her go until she told him. But the problem was from where should she begin so that it made sense?

“Y-you never told me that you had a girlfriend.”

Adrien looked a bit taken aback at that. “Huh? I don't have a girlfriend. Not to my knowledge, that is.”

Seriously, he was trying to hide it even now?

“I heard the other girls talking about her. Ch-Clai-"

“Chloe?” Adrien offered.

When Marinette nodded, Adrien burst into laughter, much to her confusion.

“Oh no, Marinette, you've got it all wrong! Chloe is not my girlfriend.”

She wasn't? Marinette felt something in her heart begin to set in motion after a long time.

“Chloe is just a family friend. She's like a sister to me! She returned from New York only a few weeks ago. We have gone out for lunch a couple of times, and some stupid reporter decided that it would make an interesting headline.”

Marinette was not completely convinced, and that must have shown on her face. Adrien leaned in towards her, and went on, “I'll tell you a secret. Chloe isn't even interested in men. So if you ask me, you have more chance of dating her than I do,” he ended with a wink.

Marinette let out a little giggle at that.

“Oh how I have missed that sweet sound,” Adrien remarked, making Marinette blush furiously.

Just then, something clicked in Adrien's mind as his expression turned serious again. “So,” he began, “that's why you have been avoiding me all these days? I don't understand, why was it so upsetting to you?”

Oh no.

Marinette hesitated. But Adrien was not going to let it go. “Do you know Chloe? Do you not like her?”

“That's not what it is.”

“Then what is it?”

She was so not prepared for this conversation right now. This was such a mess. How was she going to get out of it now?

But maybe it would work out? Adrien was not dating anyone. He might actually reciprocate her feelings then! After all, he did care enough to have cornered her to solve problems between them...

Marinette closed her eyes and tried to steady her mind. It was now or never. This would be the moment when Marinette Dupain-Cheng declared her feelings for Adrien Agreste. This empty classroom would be the witness of the glorious or the heart-breaking moment that followed.

“It's because I love you.”

“What?”

Marinette could not figure out what Adrien was feeling, because he was giving her too less to work with right now. That one word carried almost no emotion, and his face displayed nothing but surprise.

“I am in love with you, Adrien Agreste.”

She felt silly repeating it.

After a few moments, Adrien finally spoke.

“I am sorry.”

That did not sound so good.

Marinette waited for him to continue, because that didn't feel like a conclusive statement at all.

“Marinette, I- I cannot return your feelings,” Adrien whispered, unable to meet her eyes.

Marinette kept staring blankly at Adrien. Her brain had stopped working.

A minute or two of painful silence passed between them. Adrien decided to speak first.

“You are an amazing girl, Marinette. I really like you, just not in that way. You are my best friend, and one of the closest people in my life. It's just that I don't feel the same-"

“So I am in love with you and you don't reciprocate?” Marinette suddenly snapped into speech interrupting him in the middle of his sentence.

Adrien was shocked into silence for a moment. But Marinette’s voice didn't sound accusatory at all. That was okay, right?

“Y-yes. That's right,” he managed to say.

“Oh, okay. I can deal with that.”

This did not feel quite right. Marinette didn't sound like she was alright.

“Are-are you okay Marinette?”

“Yes, I'm okay. I have been through this before,” she said in a voice louder than usual, with a weird grin on her lips.

Something about this was extremely unsettling. Marinette was behaving strangely and Adrien was beginning to get worried.

“Marinette, are you going to have an anxiety attack?”

“Pfft-no!” she lied.

“Can I-can I offer you a hug?”

At those words, something happened to Marinette. The smile faded from her face, and her eyebrows slanted downwards. Now the pain was visible in her eyes, as she whispered, “I'd like that.”

Adrien enfolded her in his arms and held her tightly. At first, Marinette stood limp, but slowly, she wrapped her arms around him and clutched on to him as though her life depended on it. And then she cried.

Adrien could feel her shaking in his arms, and the sobs and the wetness on the chest of his shirt didn't leave much to the imagination. It broke his heart to see her so weak, so broken. Tears broke through his eyes as he realised this was all because of him. But what could he do? He couldn’t just lead her on, only to break her heart later! This might be painful now, but this was for the best. Marinette deserved someone better than him, someone who could actually give her the love that she deserved.

Neither counted how long they stood like that. Wrapped up in each other’s arms, desperately seeking comfort. When at length they loosened their hold on each other, they took time to completely let go. And then Adrien took her hands in his and asked in a small voice “We're still going to be friends, right?”

“Y-yeah,” Marinette whispered, uncertainty looming over that word.

Friends. As if it were that easy.

Every time they crossed paths after that incident, it was painfully awkward. Forced smiles, monosyllable greetings, the over-formality was a constant reminder of the mess that had taken place in that empty room.

Marinette couldn’t stop blaming herself. It was her fault that she lost Adrien's friendship overnight. If she had managed to hold back her feelings, none of this would have happened. But what use thinking about it now, the damage was already done.

Adrien, on the other hand, held himself responsible for whatever happened. He seriously considered if it would have been worse than this if he had decided to give it a chance. At least that way he wouldn't have lost her company.

Within a few days, the forced friendship faded away as both of them began to actively avoid each other. Neither could bear to look at the pain on the other's face. The warm friendship had long decayed into an uncomfortable co-existence. And they found it too difficult to go on like that. So they both, separately, decided that it was for the best that they stayed away from each other. At least for a while, till they got their emotions sorted out.

#miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic #the road to us and everything in between #chapter 5 #no magic au #alternate universe - no powers #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #adrienette #chloe bourgeois #slow burn #my fic

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darkpoisonouslove · 4 years ago

Text

Winx Club Season 8 Thoughts Part 1

Here I am! The latest season of Winx. Can’t believe I made it here (especially after I sped through seasons 6 and 7). I am kinda excited about this because I am finally getting to watch the second part (I have seen the first one) and I think that after season 7, it really can’t get that much worse. Also, I am now used to the idea of the art style even if I still despise it completely and passionately. So let’s do this!

8x01:

- Who thought this art style was a good idea? And why did they have to bring the band back? That was so unnecessary. But at least the song in the opening isn’t bad.

- So... Bloom is the main vocalist but they just leave Musa to write all the songs? Didn’t think that could get more unfair and yet it did. Also, love how they changed the art style but Stella is still acting as immature as she has since season 4.

- Kiko is actually being acknowledged in the second minute? Please, tell me that will last after the lumens.

- Oh, wow, the plot is already starting? I am actually pleasantly surprised. Took them only two minutes.

- Ugh, not Obscurum! Pleaaaaaase!

- Lumenia is the star that lights Solaria? Does that mean it is the first sun of Solaria? Okay... That’s actually kinda cool.

- Oh, great! The one with all the info has amnesia! But actually, that might be a good idea because not everything is convenient for damn once! Edit: And Timmy and Tecna are back to being inventors! *happy sob*

- How is a scare supposed to trigger memories? By inducing a flashback of traumatic events? That’s cool but fear can also cause memory blockages. So idk about that. Lmao @ Kiko with that hammer, though. You might have the right idea, Kiko. We’ll come back to you once Twinkly gets annoying.

- The dissonance between the maturity of the Specialists’ voices and their FUCKING FACES! It is unbearable!

- Oh, Kiko is hitting on Twinkly? XD Jk. He just wants to cheer her up and it’s actually really cute. Almost makes up for them totally ruining his design.

- Not a song number! I am forewarning everyone that I will be skipping all of those.

- Omg! A scene of the Specialists talking? About their own stuff?!??! And them messing around with each other (read: mocking each other (and especially Nex)). We haven’t had that since... season 4? It was sorely missed, THANK YOU!

- Riven is back!

- And Knut is back! But wtf is up with Griselda’s voice? Also, how did they change her design the least, yet still totally ruined it? I cannot comprehend that! Lmao at her gestures at Knut, though!

- The memories of Twinkly actually looked pretty scary and traumatic. I can’t believe I am saying this but this season is doing a decent job so far and even more than that.

- Dammit, why do I have to suffer Butterflix again?

- I was gonna say that that was quick but the thing actually reappeared. That’s... pretty nice. Could be used to such a great advantage! And it was actually Stella’s spell that worked and not Bloom’s? They gave up on their obsession with Bloom to make this make sense? Um, yes, please?

- Okay, stealing starlight sounds like a rocking plan as soon as they explain well why the hell that is the goal here.

- Yeah, Stella, you are so damn cautious! Girl, you’re almost as impulsive as Bloom. (But XD @ “Caution is our middle name... More of a nickname, really”)

8x02:

- Twinkly: Where am I? Me: At Alfea. Shut up!

- Why does this show have such an aversion to letting Kiko sleep in peace, dammit?!

- Flora has a plant that takes care of other plants? Omg, that is so cool! And we’re finally seeing her care for the plants in her room again! This season is already better than seasons 6 and 7 combined.

- Stella could just use magic to shrink down that enormous suitcase.

- Omg, they’re spending time with their boyfriends again instead of just screeching at them for no reason whatsoever? Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Why are Winx mad that the Specialists didn’t tell them about Riven? What would it have changed? They still would have been shocked. And why the hell is Musa yelling at Riven? They broke up! He doesn’t owe her a schedule of his every waking moment! I hate this reaction.

- Why... are the outfits gonna let them travel in space? I mean, can you imagine how cool they could have looked in spacesuits?

- Wow, that’s a lot of pink. But that IS the Winx aesthetic to differer from the aesthetic shown in you-know-what.

- Why is the queen ruler of all the stars and not just of Lumenia? Otherwise, the star lore is pretty cool. I have to say that the whole thing with the rivers reminds of the Underworld a lot which is an interesting parallel to dwell on.

- Stella is pretty amazing in this already indeed!

- Oh, the crystal monsters. I remember those. They were really annoying. And I am not a fan of the upcoming transformation upgrade.

- Did the Specialists follow them there? Not the most unshady thing they’ve done but at least they’re helping. Also, I would like to point Netflix’ attention to the way their weapons look! Take a close look!

- OH MY GOD! Someone had a smart idea here! They are actually handling themselves even though their powers aren’t all that effective! Riven is saving Musa and being awesome! This is good enough to make me cry, wtf?

- Ooh, damn! Love the way Valtor’s mark showed up and how actually bothered by it they acted! That was cool and really created a good atmosphere!

- They saved the river AND they actually talked about the sneaking around in a (mostly) mature manner? And they resolved the conflict? RIVEN IS COMMUNICATING?????? This season is a fucking treat so far! Except for Musa being a goddamn primadonna!

- Valtor’s new design is also pretty close to his original one and yet... just NOT. IT!

- Cosmix time. Okay, the visuals are actually quite pretty (I especially love the fact that they look transparent at first; I have a feeling there’s a nice symbolism to this but I’ll have to think about it a bit more). The song isn’t bad either but it’s a little repetitive,

- They probably could have done better with the name than “star yummies” but it isn’t quite so bad. I mean, we’ve seen worse and this is pretty minor considering that they’re doing pretty well with almost everything else (so far and I hope I am not jinxing this).

8x03:

- Okay, the name sounds dumb but it’s accurate.

- I have to say that I saw the twist with Obscurum coming even if I was only clicking through the episodes when I first watched this but now I want to see if it was foreshadowed. Him saying he wants to rule Lumenia still isn’t enough foreshadowing but it does raise the question of why Lumenia specifically so it’s headed in the right direction at least.

- Nice move, Stella! And, omg, did Flora just use something that’s not vines? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am getting really hyped up over here.

- They’re thinking! They’re actually instantly adapting to the problems that they are facing! Man, this is even better than season 1! HOW? Not that I care. Just don’t let it stop!

- So Valtor is actually using starlight to buff himself on a magical level? And in season 1 they said that starlight was the purest source of magic (4kids). Is this... continuity between the first and the latest season??????? I am literally tearing up over here because I never believed this moment would come but it has and it is beautiful!

- Not a fan of the Valtor and Obscurum dynamic because it is just... a big no again, just like his working relationship with the Trix (except I can’t decide if this is worse because Obscurum is afraid or if s3 was worse because Valtor was leading the Trix on about *gags* you know (don’t make me say it)). Love the castle in the stars, though! So cool (even if it is also so very impractical).

- Man, Twinkly really is just a stand-in for the pixies, isn’t she? Same bravery and complete and utter uselessness balance.

- Stella is fucking shining and I am loving it! But did Obscurum just say “erase them”? You mean... this has actual stakes? And Bloom’s projection of the Dragon Fire makes sense because Cosmix is light-based? Musa is using an attack that basically acts like an earthquake except without the damage aka... safe for usage? I am going to pass out from happiness. Like, you don’t even know.

- THEY ACTUALLY LOST?????? And they are not giving up but... coming up with a plan???? That is smart??????????????????? I am in love with this season for now.

- They powered the core! And that will now cause Valtor to make a shift in his strategy! This season is actually dynamic! Goddamit, yes!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!

- Obscurum to Valtor: “Something more intimate? You, me...” ... Why is he hitting on him? Bleh. But damn! The trap dimension has so much potential!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Oh, song time. Goodie. Why is Obscurum acting like he has the dancing plague? And, for fuck’s sake, why am I getting Christian Grey vibes from Valtor? Ugh! *shudders* Please, no! But he is actually taking Winx seriously and coming up with countermeasures? Um, yes, I will take that!

- Ugh, why are they having classes again?! I hate that part!

- Sky, you know where they were! But I actually kinda like the change to have Bloom be the one that doesn’t have time for dating instead of having her sulking over Sky being a prince and having royal duties the whole time.

- What do you mean that Griselda doesn’t know what is going on? This is not Griselda!

- Tecna, watch what you’re putting in your damn potion! I know Musa fucked up but you could have checked what she handed you!

- Aww, Tecna throwing a dance party to cheer Musa up was so cute! And look at Stella dragging all that luggage up the stairs on her own! She is precious (and devoted to fashion but this time in a not so annoying manner... so far.)

8x04:

- Dammit, why is Obscurum the first thing I see?

- Okay, it’s pretty cute how excited Bloom is. And all the rest of Winx helping Sky while at the same time judging him for not being better for Bloom and putting more effort in it. This is just the dynamic! I love it!

- Musical food? What the hell, Musa?! But lmao at the Sky and Flora moment there. And Musa and Layla’s reaction to his words. But he was right. Flora was the only one being useful.

- What picnic under the stars? There are no stars! It’s the middle of the day!

- Oh, why the drama now? Bloom also forgot their date in the previous episode because of her mission. Sky is doing the exact same rn! Hypocrisy much?

- “Your Great Malevolence” and “Your Vileness”? I don’t like Obscurum but his decorum is amusing at the very least.

- But if a star has to be attacked before it will alert them that they need to go there, they won’t be one step ahead of Valtor. They might be able to catch up with him but they are still one step behind him.

- A moving star. That was actually a cool idea although I am not sure how the hell that is supposed to work.

- Why have those lumens never heard of music? But damn, I am actually happy that they made the band plot relevant (for all of 3 seconds). At least make it have some purpose.

- At least Bloom actually also supported Sky while attacking him. She is literally the definition of mixed signals here but that’s better than her just being plain mad.

- Can they use the music to capture the star yummies in a trance? That would be nice and it would justify having the band in this season.

- Stella is having the time for a selfie while actually being super effective and handling that part of the mess on her own? Yes, please! Where was that in the previous seasons?!

- The thief is not “trying” to attack. He is attacking! But damn, Brandon made some good moves there! Are you telling me that we actually get to see the Specialists doing their own missions again plus a really cute parallel between Brandon and Stella? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it!

- They’re being pulled in a black hole? Holy shit! This season is actually getting intense! And it makes sense? I am shooketh! Can Stella save them with her light, though?

- Oh, nvm! They’re gonna do it together. Eh, that still works I guess.

- The Specialists were really working as a team here and I have missed seeing that so much! It’s great to have the show acknowledge them again. It could have only been better if they didn’t look like first graders.

8x05:

- Oh, now the whole starship is being pulled into the black hole? That is actually cool! They are maintaining the tension for more than three seconds and they are showing how things actually function? Well, there’s a big surprise.

- I am glad that they are actually solving this but why couldn’t Stella generate stardust herself? She is the fairy of the sun, the moon and the stars. It would have been really interesting to see her do that and this season’s theme is right up her alley.

- Valtor’s failure is kinda amusing. But I feel a little bad about Obscurum because he literally has to walk on eggshells around Valtor. No one should have to be put through anxiety like that.

- Ooh, zero gravity plus invisibility device? That is so cool!

- I wish Bloom and Sky would have talked about their little drama with the surprise, especially because there was no need for it since the delay actually helped make things even better and much more romantic. And I am also not all that sold on the Beauty and the Beast vibes I am getting from this.

- Why is Musa acting like that again? Riven is trying to be supportive and take interest in her music. I know that he ran away but obviously something happened.

- Good thing that Riven is being competent while the rest are busy partying. He did pretty well considering that he just intercepted a planned heist and he wasn’t prepared.

- Aren’t you supposed to drift in space instead of fall as if there’s gravity?

- I am a little done with the ship being threatened yet again because it can’t move without the stupid core but I really want to see how Winx are gonna save it now that the ruby is stolen.

- Maybe if they try something else other than generic blasts they may be able to defeat it.

- Valtor was the one that summoned the black hole? And he is getting low on magic juice? That kinda makes sense now that he doesn’t have Dragon Fire anymore.

- O-kay. That strategy was semi logical. Not the best they have done but it could have been worse.

- Selfish? He is trying to save a whole planet! It wasn’t like he was stealing it for the money! No, I get it that his actions weren’t okay but Musa is being a bitch to everyone. And what she just said to Riven. She is refusing to give him a second chance but is acting like she’s the one who is making all the compromises here!

8x06:

- Why wouldn’t he be allowed on Eridia? Oh, he really fucked up the core.

- Oh, shut the fuck up, Orion! It is your fault it didn’t work because you were the one who broke the core and now it can’t hold the light!

- Flora is really rooting (whoops) for abandoning the core. Nice one! How the fuck does she think to save the plants without fucking light?!?!?!?!

- Can I throw Orion in the black hole? HE is the one who fucked the whole thing up because he didn’t know what he was doing and now he is yelling at them that they don’t have a plan! Even though they agreed to help him instead of throwing him in jail!

- At least Valtor is adapting to the situation on the go and coming up with new strategies. But Orion is such a fool. He is desperate but why didn’t he consider the question of why the hell Valtor would care? Obviously he has beef with Winx which puts him at the not-so-trustworthy column.

- Man, Riven is right. Orion is a damn actor and very good at playing them. That isn’t his problem, of course, but the Winx’. I just wish Musa would think instead of pout the whole time.

- Shut up about the goddamn plants, Flora! You can’t save them in any longterm way without fixing the core of the planet first!

- DO NOT make “starsome” a thing. It sounds ridiculous. It doesn’t even make sense!

- Riven is actually discussing how he feels with the other Specialists? And they’re having fun (even if it is at his expense)? Why does Musa refuse to see how much he’s changed? I hate the way they are just trying to make more stupid drama!

- You do not look like big lumens to me but okay. Twinkly has a serious crush on her friend, doesn’t she?

- Yes, we all know that Tecna is a genius. And that is why she doesn’t become pray to stupid love drama when there is no reason for any!

- How the hell was Stella supposed to know if it will actually be safer? She said it looked safer! There is a difference! Also, they are only now wondering why Orion left them on their own!

- Now you guys are screwed! But wtf, why did Tecna just covere her eyes instead of... trying to do something like the rational person that she actually is! And you have to love how they only had Flora and Stella arguing so that they will have to come together to save the rest giving the illusion that they are actually undergoing some development. But hey! An episode without a musical number!

8x07:

- What is this now? Are they trying to make us sympathize with Orion by showing some remorse on his part? It is not working!

- They made Obscurum a cheerleader? He seems to be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, though he is not exactly a prisoner or hostage of Valtor’s. But still. There is some kind of similar vibes.

- Cool! They revealed that the star yummies are actually corrupted lumens. That was a pretty clever idea, not gonna lie. And it is totally on brand for Valtor which is also great.

- Well, I don’t see you, lumens, fixing the fucking core yourselves so you might wanna start appreciating the fact that they’re trying! They didn’t know the core was broken and wouldn’t hold the Cosmix light!

- And how do you plan on saving them, Orion? You have no idea what you’re up against and you just betrayed the only people that cared about helping you!

- Why is Twinkly not being corrupted like all the other lumens? They are different in some way that was never explained but it was already implied that the corruption works on ALL of the lumens! So what gives? Except obvious plot convenience, of course.

- So Flora actually tried something else and didn’t go for the vines at all? I am shocked... but appreciative!

- Why aren’t the plants answering? Are they too dead for words? But that spell was actually pretty cool! They made a little sun that also has nature powers added to it to shine on all of the plants at once! That was so clever and actually pretty creative! I love it!

- The nature defeating technology theme is a little misplaced I would say considering the way they fix the problem with the broken cores of the stars later on.

- Wait! Winx were transformed when the robot caught them. Why did they have to transform again and when did the transformations disappear?

- They didn’t actually fight the thing! So far their powers have been used very little for actual battle and a lot more in creative ways to restore the balance of the stars. That actually makes a lot of sense since that was what the Cosmix was for! I like it!

- Did they just make a magical sun out of Stella’s powers by boosting her energy? This was awesome!

- Why did they think Orion was the one that changed the lumens? They know that Valtor is the one working with Obscurum and commanding them! That was such a stupid guess and for what? To give Obscurum some kind of “witty” line for his entrance?

- Orion does have cool inventions but for being a genius creator he is being a fucking dumbass! Oh, now you want to be “united” with them. After you almost got them killed and your planet fucked over big time.

- Musa is gonna give Orion a third chance but she’s gonna keep being a bitch to Riven, huh?

- Wizgiz’ redesign is giving me nightmares. Why is he teaching them something that they have been doing literally since season 2 and just did not three minutes ago?!?!?!?! And why are Knut and Kiko painting the yard pink? Really? Just so that Winx can show what they have learned even though they’ve known it for about seven years now?!?!?!?!

- Submarine star? That sounds rocking. But wait, they are using Sirenix in the next ep? Why don’t I remember that? I have watched this... I think. Yes, I have. I remember the stupidity and Nex and Layla having a moment. So why don’t I remember Sirenix?

8x08:

- I thought Valtor was on the scene and then it turned out he was just in an illusion. *sigh* And why can’t he just go himself? He is not doing anything this season. Just sitting on his ass and bossing Obscurum around. It’s just... not Valtor at all. And what’s this obsession with fucking up Andros every goddamn time he shows up?

- Aww, Winx are being so adorable and supportive! Nex, too, though that is OOC. But I can’t understand why Layla didn’t just pick up the phone and tell Nex that she needs him to stop calling so that she can focus. What is so hard about that?

- I like this version of Stella’s fashion obsession. It feels a lot more natural and isn’t overtaking the whole group and the show.

- Well, they didn’t ruin Theredor and Niobe’s designs! That’s something. And Ligea looks pretty much the same as well. I don’t understand why they felt the need to fuck up Winx and the Specialists’ designs but okay.

- Why are they making Layla unable to remember three sentences? She can do much more than that and she has always been the most capable one of Winx and an exemplary princess.

- Oh, so they already mentioned that the queen’s brother disappeared exactly when Valtor showed up (How tf does she even know that? The flashback that was shown later plus the fact that no one seemed to know Valtor was back before Winx saw his mark in 8x02 contradict that.). That and Obscurum saying he wants to rule Lumenia plus Valtor’s obvious knack for corrupting and changing everyone that’s working for him, spill it all out.

- Pretty sure no one at that party cares about Twinkly but whatevs. As long as she isn’t on screen to be annoying.

- Nex transformation time!

- Sirenix is back (never has that ever happened before) and I hate the redesign even more than the original. Didn’t think it was possible. They have also fucked up the transformation sequence and made it more boring. Nice move!

- Why is Layla refusing to talk? Coming forth about her feelings is gonna make it better. I like that Nex is actually being sensitive here even if he never naturally changed to become like that and they are just writing him wildly OOC. But he was so much of an asshole that I prefer this tbh.

- How the fuck do Sirenix powers have no effect on “a creature of darkness”? They went on the Sirenix Quest to defeat Tritanus who was definitely a creature of darkness! The writers don’t even know what they’re saying anymore. At least they left Winx handling the shark even if their powers aren’t working on it. If they’d sent Nex after it and Winx after Obscurum, it would have been too convenient.

- I like the fact that they managed when their magic was useless against the enemy. At least the writers are being a little more creative in the battles by making them rely more on strategy rather than on their powers. I can accept generic blasts and beams if the idea is that that makes their magic so useless that they need to find a creative solution.

- Nex is rooting for teamwork? He really has changed. I just wish they would have shown that instead of just jumping the gun like that.

8x09:

- Why didn’t they try trapping the star yummies in a morphix net? Or something that Tecna made with her magic? Or figured out a way to close the portals that let the star yummies come and go?

- They’re gonna make THAT a problem? Breathing underwater without Sirenix? Not like Layla has been able to breathe underwater continuously throughout seasons 2-5 without the need for Sirenix. AND she also taught the others how to perform the spell. This is such a non-problem.

- They also changed the Sirenix spells, didn’t they?

- They have been in tougher predicaments. I hate how they keep making Layla despair without a reason because she has always had a damn fighting spirit.

- Oh, look! It’s the anemone stupidity. And how is Stella supposed to wake up when she is under the influence of the anemone sting? You could try a spell if you want to wake her up, Flora!

- You’d think the lumens of Andros would know their fucking princess!!!!!

- What was the big idea with rushing out of the cave if Layla didn’t have a plan? Also, she was the one that figured out the anemones attacked when they were provoked, yet she kept attacking. Stop fucking attacking them! It’s only making things worse! Jeez, it’s not so hard to figure out that you shouldn’t antagonize them.

- So the Andros lumens sing but the Peripla ones have never heard of the existence of music? Pretty damn solid. Also, they just sang the same melody the whole time even after Layla asked them for something extra beautiful.

- How the hell did she fill the morphix with air? Did she pull all the water out in the morphix shielding and only left the oxygen atoms inside to make up oxygen molecules? This somehow doesn’t seem normal but anyway.

- So what unspelled the shark? The light of Gorgol? The living star? The starfish star? They are really starting to fuck up this season.

- Love how they never said how many years old Andros is becoming!

- Why did they make the trap dimension look like a pinball machine? What was up with that? And why did Gravity Falls do it so much better?

8x10:

- So now Alfea is having an anniversary as well? And why the fuck is Twinkly only asking now about the meaning of anniversary when they already were at the anniversary party on Andros? And they really made “starsome” a recurring slang? I hate it.

- Why is Faragonda letting the students organize the anniversary? Also, not a fan of how these latest seasons are making Griselda and Faragonda look not so fond of each other. They definitely felt a lot more in sync in the first seasons.

- Lmao, love how Winx are roasting themselves. But I cannot believe that no one has said anything about Helia’s ugliest haircut... yet. They couldn’t have possibly fucked it up more after the season 4 disaster and they somehow did! Fucking spectacular! And why is Riven wearing a scarf? When the fuck have you seen Riven with a scarf? This is ridiculous!

- Love the way Flora and Helia just decided that they will be matchmakers now! But I do think that they should first try figuring out why Musa can’t forgive Riven before deciding she will trust him.

- Why didn’t Twinkly just sit on Riven’s shoulder instead of plopping herself down right on top of the controls? The zero gravity dancing was actually pretty cute but Musa could have tried just dancing with Riven. Or at least they could have said something about why she feels like she can’t even dance with him (because she feels him unfamiliar anymore or something).

- Hypsos looks so very familiar but I can’t place it. Reminds a little of Amentia’s kingdom tbh.

- I cannot believe that the Twinkly and Lumila storyline will actually have a bearing on the real plot. How did they manage? Though, I suppose I should be happy about that.

- Turning a constellation into an actual monster was a damn good idea! Although, the writers sort of implied that Valtor has the power level of a god which has not been supported by the narrative. He was such a stronger villain in season 3.

- So... what did they do? Did they send the Hydra through the portal that the star yummies use? I actually remember it being a bigger threat and harder to defeat. Is this really the end?

- Oh, look! They can reverse the star yummy corruption with the power of love! Cut to the wedding (of Twinkly and Lumila).

- I said wedding, not a fucking concert!

- Musa, I don’t even know you anymore! Since when doesn’t she want to be the center of attention! She was literally mad at him because he hadn’t called aka paid her attention! Besides, she’s a singer (which you couldn’t fucking guess from the fact that Bloom is the goddamn vocalist!). What do you mean that he exposed her? Those are just some outlined images projected! She is a lot more exposed when she sings on stage! This is so goddamn stupid! Season 2 Musa would never.

- And why are they making Flora and Helia fuck up their own sync over Musa and Riven? They should just not meddle and keep their own relationship in harmony!

8x11:

- I am so glad we’re getting rid of Obscurum soon. I have had it with him! “Go undercover as one of [Winx]”? What the actual fuck?!

- Why is the trap dimension a goddamn gaming universe? They are truly wasting its potential! And why not just shove Winx in there?!

- Flora and Helia have never had a disagreement before? Come again? And now she’s saying they never even had different opinions on anything? That is so totally healthy, you know. And the implication that that is how a relationship should be. Wow! Fucking spectacular move!

- Just don’t make Winx fight over the Flora and Helia situation! And that was a perfect example of why they don’t need to agree on everything.

- At first I agreed with the opinion I have seen floating around that the emogix are too specific but this is the Magic Dimension. They have teleportation. What is so hard to believe that they have code that can quickly animate specific actions with pre-coded visual parameters about every separate object in the animation?

- I want to see Griselda react to that fireworks explosion!

- That was the big talk? At least they said that disagreements are not inherently bad but still. This was just a damn non-closure to a damn non-problem.

- Well, Obscurum’s plan isn’t so bad but Winx have already not been welcomed by lumens. It isn’t so original.

- Why are Knut and Kiko coming along all of a sudden? Oh, that’s right! Because those lumens are ogres like Knut. How convenient!

- I don’t know what’s so hard to understand about the fact that the lumens obviously believe that Winx have come to steal their treasure and that is why they’re attacking them.

- Tecna needed an analysis to tell that the lumens think they’re enemies and want to steal their treasure? They said that! REPEATEDLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Was the core broken accidentally or on purpose? I missed that part but I don’t think that Valtor has caught on to the fact that breaking the cores will make it much harder for Winx to save the stars. Also, why did he never try to steal the Cosmix light that the Winx put in the dark cores? That would have been an interesting plan!

- Well, Convenient Knut is being awfully convenient! As was planned.

- So now the crystal is actually gonna serve as a core? Wow, what a cop-out.

- You’re telling me that Obscurum was actually the one that thought of the idea of breaking the cores on purpose? This season is really doing Valtor dirty. I just... I can’t watch. Why do they have to be like that?

- Also, he’s only now figuring out he needs to get rid of Bloom? He had that figured out at the beginning of season 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8x12:

- A wishing star that hasn’t been seen in almost a 1000 years? And he needs Cosmix to get near? How is enhancing his powers going to get him closer to the star if the problem is his darkness? What, is Cosmix gonna conceal his dark powers? Somehow, that doesn’t make sense. But damn, at least this thing is protected from dark powers so that malevolent wishes won’t be made.

- Bloom has her priorities in check and Sky comes third? After Vanessa and the mission? That is a nice change of pace, actually.

- Why doesn’t Bloom just use her goddamn magic?! It would have been so much easier! It’s hers! It’s not like she is forbidden to use it.

- Lmao, Obscurum is acting as if Valtor actually cares about him. And he thinks he’s evil? Wow, that’s cute.

- Is it me or does Vanessa look so much thinner than she used to? Not a fan of that.

- You’re telling me Bloom never made an album for her parents before? But I love the fact that they are sharing and Bloom tells them that she loves home more than anything. That was actually something that the show could have used about 4 seasons ago.

- Why do the Earth lumens look like Roman soldiers?

- Anyone else feel like the transformation of the star yummies into bigger entities is legit based on Pokemon evolution? It really operates the exact same way Pokemon evolution does.

- They’re mentioning the queen’s brother again? In what is not foreshadowing but a plainly obvious non-twist.

- Musa is really disgusted by the star yummies? They actually look pretty cute and fluffy to me. Kinda cuter than the lumens even. Not to mention that they can face monsters and whatnot but they can’t make themselves touch the star yummies? Some Guardian Fairies you are!

- Valtor feels like a nervous teenager about to introduce himself to his crush. What the hell were they thinking?

- I like the designs of the dark giants where the writings on them are concerned. They look like rune rings around their torsos and arms and I actually love the idea of that.

- The scene with Bloom and her parents was pretty good. I love the way she compartmentalized the situation and managed to be on all the fronts she needed to be on even if she had to ask for backup to do it. It was awesome!

- Valtor finally decided to show the fuck up! Halfway through the season! Love how Stella is sassing him! A little surprised that he knows her name, though.

- I don’t think that hugging that last form of star yummy evolution is gonna work. Might be a too big concentration of corrupted lumens in order for the hug thing to work.

- Goblin yummies? Oh, no. Stargoyles. Wow. Okay.

- I love the dilemma that Valtor presented! Bloom really can’t be in two places at the same time! I would be very interested (as I was the first time) if I didn’t know how this ended... aka in disappointment.

8x13:

- Backstory time! What the hell do you mean that Valtor’s life force was drifting through the universe? For years? After the Dragon Fire - that literally made up his whole being - was extinguished? And how the hell was he brought back with the power of the stars? Wtf?

- Bloom, it’s really not that hard to figure out that Obscurum is the queen’s brother! I guessed that the first time I watched this and I didn’t even know she had a brother because I had been clicking through the episodes!

- If Obscurum really thinks that being Valtor’s minion is better than being in the shadow of his sister, then she must have fucked up big time! And I mean, really big time!

- So the artificial cores are not supposed to be that small? That is just a prototype.

- I have a question - how fast do the Specialists’ ships travel for example? Because Twinkly says that she’s traveling at the speed of light but I doubt that the tech can go so fast. Aka my train of thought was what if there are planets in the Magic Dimension that are so far from one another that the people can never meet because the tech doesn’t travel fast enough? Since that seems to be the common method of transportation rather than teleportation which could totes solve that problem.

- I really wish someone other than Sky would be protecting Mike and Vanessa. And wasn’t Valtor saying that only he can stop the Stargoyles? “Cause the Specialists just got rid of all of them. At least the dark giants truly seem to be unstoppable.

- I was so hyped when Bloom said she’d give Cosmix to Valtor! It would have been so interesting to see how they would defeat him if he had Cosmix as well. But they just had Cosmix reject him? Because it has sentience apparently? That was such a fucking cop-out! Just commit to your best ideas goddammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Why is Twinkly getting the artificial core to the Specialists instead of the other Winx? They need it inside the sun! Not on the surface of the Earth.

- Wtf? Didn’t Bloom send Twinkly towards the Earth? She is inside the Sun! What was that maneuvering?!

- So the dark giants would have been defeated when the sun was fixed anyway? Meaning that Bloom could have chosen to go help Winx and that would have solved the dilemma aka there was no actual dilemma, except she didn’t know that? Man, what a bummer!

- Poor Vanessa. Had her birthday almost completely ruined!

- Wasn’t the queen supposed to be powerless? But that moment was so emotional there! And I love the fact that she acted as an example to the lumens to have them freeing the star yummies and helping them change back. Does that mean that the part with the stars is over for this season, though?

- Not a goddamn concert again! Come on! Dedicate the song to your mom, at the very least!!!!!

- Where is Valtor? This doesn’t look like the castle amongst the stars. What happened? Oh, and you’re telling me he has no more magical energy?

- What the hell do you mean that the Trix have power like the power of the Winx? Icy’s power is literally an opposite of Bloom’s!!!!! What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I have been so confused about this ever since I first watched it over a year ago! But at least the Trix were imprisoned separately this time. Someone in this goddamn universe finally had a smart idea!

Part 2 is here.

#winx club #winx bloom #winx musa #winx layla #winx flora #winx stella #winx tecna #winx sky #winx riven #winx nex #bloom x sky #layla x nex #winx valtor #winx obscurum #winx twinkly #winx club season 8 #review #thoughts #part 1

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did-he-just-hiss-at-me · 5 years ago

Text

"They'll forget."

warnings: implied suicide attempt(non-specific about who), long with no cut cuz mobile, angst, hurt/comfort

summary: "Remus cackled. 'Don't say that! They're definitely going to try to rescue you, and they'll fall for our trap!' Logan sighed, and his head drooped. 'No.' he said in a hollowed tone. 'They'll forget.'" (not an excerpt)

ships: implied dukeceit(beginning), implied intruloceit(end)

au: super au(my au)

notes: based off this post. sorry if you guys didn't want an au tied to it hgdjfjs. lmk if you want a sequel

-----

(Logan's POV)

Day 1

I woke up with a massive headache, and lacking the ability to see. I couldn't move any part of my body except my head. Where am I? What happened? I questioned internally. I didn't want to alert whoever put me here to the fact that I am awake.

My memory is a foggy mess. I can't remember much. There was... yelling. Or rather, fighting. I wasn't participating in said fight. I don't even think I was allowed to.

Then I was walking home. I remember having my hands in my pockets, staring at the ground. Not caring about the world ahead of me, just below. Maybe a tear or two slipped out, it's hard to remember.

Then I remember someone grabbing me. Pulling me into an alley, and kicking me to the ground. I saw two familiar faces. I got a baseball bat to the face, then darkness.

I coughed, loud. It wasn't intentional, my throat was really dry. How long was I unconscious? It felt like a whole day. Not good for my sleep schedule. Speaking of schedules, I'm worried that my boss has fired me from work by now. He has no patience.

"Hey, L's awake!" a familiar voice called out to another, the sound echoing down the hall. A chill went down my spine, trouble was coming. Footsteps came after the echoing voice. They got louder and louder, fast.

"Heh, You sure that wasn't the other guy?" another voice appeared. It sounded sinister. "Dee, what other guy...? Did you proceed with a kidnapping without me?!" The first voice again. "No no, I'm kidding, Logan's the only one we got right now."

I tried my hardest to appear unconscious, but hearing what was supposedly my name caught me off guard. Logan. That's who I am, right.

It comes back to me now. I am Logan Everton. Natural-born Super with technologic-based abilities. I go by the codename Digit. I am a Super with good intentions.

I remember what happened before I got here. My common allies(though they would refer to us as "friends"), Patton 'Heartbeat' Harper, Roman 'Magma' Aveyard, & Virgil 'Specter' Deckett, were at Roman's place, having a fight. Our team ethic was going awry and it was making everything harder, our successful missions being smaller than our unsuccessful ones.

I had remained quiet most of the conversation, but that's because nobody would let me speak. I'd try to pitch in, steer everyone to a positive outcome, but they'd either yell over me or tell me to stop.

11. I counted. That's how many times I had been shut down. After that, I had enough. I grabbed my backpack, and left without a sound. Nobody called out for me, telling me not to leave, that they would listen to me now. Not at all.

As I shut Roman's front door, I had let out a big sigh. Hands in my pockets, I walked down the sidewalk to my house. It was just a couple blocks away, I would've made it. But back then I didn't care. I started to cry, but I didn't care.

But suddenly I was pulled into an alleyway. I was so caught off guard that I was unable to resist being kicked to the ground and knocked out with a baseball bat. I remember seeing the faces of the two men who grabbed me; Roman's ostracized brother, Remus 'Psycho' Aveyard, and Ethan 'Deceit' Helquist. A common enemy of ours. I now was able to match the voices I just heard to the faces. They got me, and now I'm doomed.

Somebody pulled whatever was over my eyes off my face. Regardless I still tried to look unconscious, but they weren't having it. "Open your eyes Logan, that's not going to work on us." Ethan sneered. I opened my eyes and glared at Ethan. "What do you want from me." I wanted answers.

"Ooh, straightforward now, aren't we nerd? You usually want to know details first, haha!" cackled Remus. "Shut it Rem, this is my turn." snapped Ethan. "We don't want anything from you... yet. For now, you have one, simple purpose... heh..." he chuckled. This could not be good. This guy is a expert manipulator; which is boosted by his powers of deception, hypnosis, and "glamour"(which according to Lo's research, meant you can disguise yourself). Ethan's powers didn't last long, but they were effective.

"I said it once. And I'll say it again." I started to demand. "What. Do. You. Want. What is your plan." I needed to contact the others and let them know what is happening. They wouldn't know otherwise.

Ethan put his hands down on the arms of the chair I was strapped to, his hands just barely touching mine. His face was 1/2 of a foot from mine. "I know your tricks, Lo~. I confiscated your technology, you cannot contact your little 'pals'. Anyways, until your teammates get here, you're just bait. You will lure them here. After all, what will your team be without their smart team member?" Ethan explained with an evil smirk. Right, how did I not realize that? My head still hurts, it's making it hard to think clearly.

"And yet, your plan is still flawed." I dead-panned. "What. Did you. Say?" Ethan growled back, moving his head back a little and grabbing me by my shirt.

"I told you, your plan has a loophole, and it's being exploited right now whether my friends know it or not." "What are you talking about, dork? Our plan is perfect!" Remus cackled once more.

"They're not coming."

Silence settled upon the room. A stunned Ethan gently let go of my shirt, & took a couple steps back. He let out a laugh of disbelief. "You must be joking! Seriously?! Why wouldn't they come for YOU?!"

"Because they don't know I'm missing. And they never will, because they don't want to know." I paused for a moment, tearing up a little. Not enough for them to notice, but it's there. "They don't care about me."

Remus started laughing, killing the sad moment. "HAH, I don't believe that for a second, four-eyes!" His face was filled with disbelief and mania. "You...Your friends need you, why wouldn't they come for you! You're so valuable to them, which is why we chose you in the first place!" he cackled once more.

"Well, you made a poor choice then. Anyone would have been better than me..."

Ethan snapped out of his stunned state. "Don't think that you can fool us so easily, Digit." he glared, putting emphasis on my nickname. "Remus?" he called for the male's attention.

"Yes, Double Dee~?" he responded with a wink.

"I told you, stop calling me that. Now, go get our prisoner food. Probably McDonalds or something."

"Will do, ya snake-charmer!" Remus winked again. Remus ran out.

"Oh, and one more thing, dear prisoner." The words felt like acid on Logan's skin. "They have 7 days to get here. Whether you say they'll come or not, they have a time limit before there's... consequences" Ethan warned, with a hiss at the end. He presented an evil smile before leaving Logan alone in the dark.

---

(No POV)

Day 2

Ethan & Remus returned to their prisoner early that morning, and hung around. Eventually they transferred Logan from being tied to a chair to a window-less bedroom with a locked door. It was actually a nice room to be in. The bed was super comfy, there was a TV with a DVD player(plus many dvds), a table and chair, and a bookshelf. On the table, Remus left him a notepad and pencil to write on if Logan needed anything, as there was enough room under the door to slip paper through. Logan never used it that day though, he just sat around in his room and sulked, knowing how this wasn't going to turn out for his enemies. The only time he got up was for food, which was always fast food. At least they were generous enough to give him nice(ish) things. They could've just gave him a burger and left, But Logan didn't care either way.

Ethan & Remus never stuck around in the room, just checked up on him. But seeing Logan just laying there on the bed filled the two with an emotion they could not identify yet.

---

Day 3

Almost the same as yesterday. Today was a Monday, so surely someone from his job would wonder where Logan went, right? Nope. Ethan kept Logan's phone with him at all times and there were no texts, no calls, not even a message on any social media.

Logan hesitantly got out of bed to do stuff aside from eating meals. None of the movies available were ones he was interested in, so he got Remus to bring him some documentaries, as well as Logan's personal notebook from his bag.

In fact, the little maniac decided to hang around Logan a bit. Some of the documentaries Remus grabbed were unintentionally ones he liked, so he decided to watch them with his prisoner.

Ethan still didn't like Logan. That's what he says, at least.

---

Day 4

Not much happened, just the usual. Except Remus had brought Logan a cookie with his dinner, a nice change.

---

(Ethan's POV)

I was sitting at my kitchen table, just staring out the window. I had my arm supporting my head while I thought about things.

Logan's proving himself right and I don't like it. But I don't get why. I should be upset because my plans are going wrong, but... I'm not.

Suddenly I felt hands covering my eyes. "Guess who~?" a voice asked in a sing-songy tone. I chuckled. "Obviously it's Remus. There's nobody else it could be."

Remus uncovered my eyes and pulled me into a hug, causing me to yelp. "You got me, babe!" he confessed, kissing me on the cheek. "Sorry for the hug, I forgot you don't like large, sudden moments of physical contact." Remus pulled away slowly and apologized, looking a bit embarrassed. Overstepping my boundaries is the only time he ever seems embarrassed.

"It's ok, Rem." I unintentionally sighed. Logan's still on my mind. My expression became a but more sad as I continued to think about the situation.

"Something wrong, Double Dee~?" Remus flirtatiously chuckled. He then noticed my facial expression and his smile fell. "...Seriously. Is everything ok? You usually let this kind of thing slide, Ethan." he queried worriedly. You could see the concern in his eyes. He only uses my full name when he's genuinely troubled.

"No no, it's not that." I reassured with a smile, as I grabbed his hand and held it with both of mine. Then the frown of mine returned right after. "It's Logan."

"Oh... is it because of you-know-what?" he questioned again.

"If "you-know-what" is the fact that his "friends" still haven't come for him? Yeah. It is..." I responded once again. Remus's face said everything. He recognized that Logan had told the truth.

"What's more, they haven't even shown a sign that they're planning to come get him. I tracked their movements across the city, not even a little bit of time was spent doing any sort of planning." I added on. Remus & I looked into each other's eyes. We saw the pain within ourselves. A familar feeling. An experience we remember all too well.

Seconds that felt like hours passed by. We wanted to cry. We were abandoned by those we trusted so dearly. Cast aside, all because of mistakes. Look what it did to us. We know the feelings experience during that time of loneliness. I don't want Logan to feel what we did, and I know Remus agrees.

"He... Logan's just like how we once were."

"Indeed, he is. And we're not going to let it remain like that."

---

(No POV)

Day 5

Remus & Deceit, to Logan's suspicion, made an effort to slowly welcome him. Remus was already doing so but only out of "sheer pity for the nerd". At first, Logan was hesitant. He had a bias against them due to them being villains.

Day 6

But by mid-day Wednesday, Logan had opened up more. He didn't understand it, but he just let it happen. He didn't care anymore. They're probably earning his trust so they can manipulate him against the others later.

Logan just wanted it to be over. During this past week, he had a lot of time to think. Enough time to lose hope in humanity. Nobody was going to rescue him. He was going to be forced to kill those he once loved.

He didn't want to admit it, but Logan was actually looking forward to his revenge. Not towards his kidnappers, no. They've actually shown him more acceptance than he's felt in a long time.

He wanted revenge on his former team.

---

(Logan's POV)

Day 7 - The last day.

Remus returned to check on me right on schedule. We talked a bit, watched a movie, he even brought a few puzzles for us to do.

Ethan, however, did not return until the evening. I had forgotten today was the "deadline" until the sinister man entered the room and dropped his backpack beside the now closed door with a glare towards Remus.

"It's time." he snapped. "Do you want to leave the room, Remus? I do not want to upset you, after all."

Remus gulped. "No... I want to stay. This is important for the three of us." he shook his head.

Important for the three of us? My body stiffened up and I squeezed my lower right arm. That cannot be good. Remus & I were previously sitting on my bed, angled right across from the door. The now terrified man got up and stepped beside his partner, who was now in the middle of the room, a few feet away from me.

"Should I hold him back, to make sure he cooperates...?" Remus questioned worriedly.

"No. You'll scare him." said Ethan as he stared into my eyes, never moving his attention. "But you already are, look at him." Ethan's previously tense stance had instantly loosened, realization dawning on him. Remus was right, I had now realized I was shaking, sweat was dripping down my back.

"Oh... Oh! I-i'm so sorry, Logan. It wasn't my intention." He bent down to my level and apologized. I was still stiffened up, though, and I turned my head away. "I'll let it pass." I finally let out as he waited for my response. His expression became sad.

"Logan, look at me. You need to listen." I hesitated for a second, but then turned to look him in his heterochromatic eyes. He seemed genuine.

"Today marks almost exactly a whole week of your friends not coming to save you. I originally had one plan, which you had no choice." I glared at him, moving back slightly. "But now that it hasn't worked, you have three choices." My eyebrows raised at the sudden proposal. I still remained like a statue, but now i'm truly listening.

"Number one. We let you go free, but... under one condition." Ethan paused for a moment. "You either give up all your technology-period-or, you let us keep track of what you do with any technology you use. We know your powers rely on having a gadget with you, Logan. We can't let you continue being a threat, but we also no longer want to see you hurt. You're a good man, you know." he confessed solemnly.

My expression softened. In the end, I didn't want to give up being a hero. The world needs me. But if this ends up being my best option, then I will agree.

"Option two, our backup plan in case you refuse option 1 & 3. In the situation where you refuse the before mentioned options, we will proceed with our original intentions. We hypnotize you with the intention to use you against your friends. We no longer want to do this to you, but if you refuse to cooperate we will do this." once more, his offer came solemnly.

I tightened up again, prepared to defend myself. I didn't want to know option 3, I just wanted to be as free as I can get. But before I could open my mouth, Remus spoke up.

"Why didn't you save that for last? I thought that would've made a better ending."

"Trust me, this one is a better closer in my opinion, Remus." he sighed.

"Finally, option 3." Ethan took a deep breath. This sounded like nerve wrecking answer for him to say. I wasn't sure whether to care or not. I just remained defensive.

At last, he let it out. "You join us. Leave your troubling life as a hero behind. Get payback for what the world has done to you. Or if you want to remain 'heroic', the three of us can become anti-heroes. Whatever it takes to make you happy." Ethan sounded serious.

Remus chimed in again, to Ethan's frustration. "Don't you want to show those losers how you feel about them now?! Smash their heads in?! Make them regret even wronging you once?!"

"No!" I lied, curling up into a ball on the bed. I didn't know what I want one bit. My morals are split in front of me, forcing me to choose one half and discard the other permanently.

The more serious of the two grabbed me by the shoulders, remaining at my eye level. "Look. I know you're hesitant to leave it all behind. You're used to one path in life. But we want what's best for you in the end. I know that anger is going to fester within you until you can no longer handle it, and end it all because there's nothing you can do about it." In that moment. Remus started shaking, crossing his arms and trying to calm himself. Ethan didn't notice, he was too focused on reassuring me.

"We were exactly like you once. Abandoned, by those we trusted most!" Ethan too, was now breaking down. "Cast away, all because of some mistakes! We had never known better! The problems built up within us, and corrupted us! And all the painful emotions of loneliness and betrayal along the way..." he choked out that last bit with a sob. "We want to help you avoid that part. We've turned out to want to care for you... W-we want-" the manipulator was now crying. Remus came up to him and slowly pulled him into a hug to comfort him, crying too.

"Shh, it's ok, Eth. It's ok, deep breaths." the maniacal one said in a way that seemed out of character for him. As Remus cried too, he rubbed Ethan's back.

I, Logan, have now come to a realization. They're serious. They genuinely care about me. Unlike anyone currently alive and in my life. I decided in that moment that my heart is right. I want what will satisfy my fury.

I got down to the ground with them and grabbed Ethan's hand, squeezing it periodically. "Ethan, listen. I'm here. Do as I say. Breathe in for 4 seconds..." As I began to help calm him down, he followed along. "Hold it for 7 seconds... And now let go for 8, and repeat." After about a minute Ethan was calm.

"I'm so sorry you had to see that side of me. You didn't deserve to know all that." he tried to confess. "Eth-..." Remus began to reassure, but cut himself off.

"I'll do it." I agreed, catching their attention. "I'm going to join you. You're right." I said as I stood up. I was going to say more, but I was stopped by the both of them getting up, and Remus pulling me into a tight hug.

"Don't worry, you'll fit right in with us. Everything will be just fine. We will never forget about you."

And in that moment, I knew they were right.

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musicallisto · 4 years ago

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without fail tag

THE “WITHOUT FAIL” TAG — List five things that you, WITHOUT FAIL, weave into or explore in your stories, whether it be specific themes or tropes, character archetypes, allusions to other literary works, what have you! It really can be anything that you consistently include in your narratives for whatever reason. Then invite others to share theirs by tagging them!

I was tagged by @deadlymodern - thank you so much for tagging me, this tag is amazing and I loved reading your answers! I can tell you have a very thorough approach to your writing & themes, it’s so cool!

(tagging people at the bottom of the post if you want to skip)

1. flowers, skies & words

grouping them together since they're all related to a wider, general literary device: symbols and allegories in my stories. Without fail, I’ll always use flower symbolism to evoke certain themes, places, characters... withered petals for death, blossoms for youth, you name it, it’s probably been in one of my stories. just consider my main WIP’s title, The Grave of Roses (Le Tombeau des Roses). It’s a little basic, and has been used time and time before in literature, but I still love it.

Other elements that often make it into my stories as symbols are planes (because I love aviation obviously, but also as a symbol of breaking free, independence, of man’s domination on mortality, what with having tamed the skies, but also his frail condition and how everything hangs on a thread). Also, the sky is pretty.

And lastly, words, stories, novels always have their place in my stories, and more often than not one of my characters is a writer, or someone who uses words and stories as some kind of comfort, outlet, or a driving force.

At its [the tombstone] foot, below the name, red roses piled up, enough of them to cover ten graves. A single vermilion bud, a wind-swept poppy, clashed with the rest of the bouquet, and Samuel knew that it was William's children who had placed it there. Only they knew that he didn't even like roses anymore, and that he would come to lay poppies on his father's memorial every time he returned to London...

The tomb was both smaller and prettier than Samuel imagined, less opulent than England would have wanted to give its precious child. The morning sun, like a caress, illuminated the epitaph, a Latin verse that Samuel had known in the past. “Bury me southward,” he heard William say so clearly that he almost turned around, "so that I can look at England and France in the same breath." His name, however, was drenched in full light, facing east, and inexplicably this saddened Samuel.

“And there it is... it's pretty, don't you think? I don't know if he would have liked it... You probably know it better than I do...”

“And why do you care about that, huh? You don't even believe in God.” “He's a writer. He believes in symbols.” “He believes in vanity, alright.”

“I think he would have liked it anyway,” he nodded in agreement, his eyes glued to the lonely poppy. (Translation)

2. parental roughnesses

this was bound to come, because I feel like we were all pretty fucked up at some point in our lives from our upbringing. I didn’t go for straight up “parental issues” because I don’t deal with like, abusive or absent parents or anything, just complicated relationships between parents and their children, but who still love each other. Oftentimes it has to do with one of the children idealizing the heck out of their parent and slowly realizing that they make mistakes and are not a hero at all, and/or unmeetable expectations and parental pressure. but it’s not like I’m projecting or anything lol

“You never knew Father, William,” Grace stopped him immediately [...]. “Don't you dare pretend you know what it's like.”

“Growing up without a father is not necessarily better than losing him in childhood! Everyone here has suffered from his disappearance, Grace. You have no idea how much I miss him, despite never meeting him. But that's all in the past now. And there's no reason for there to be another war.”

“Of course there is!” she retorted ferociously, despite the tears spilling from her eyes. “Of course there is, and they're going to send you there like Father, and you'll want to play hero like Father, and then you'll get shot down like a dog! Where's it going to be this time, huh? Above Luxembourg, just like him, or maybe somewhere in your beloved France?” (Translation)

3. patriotism

One way or another, all my stories always deal with patriotism, nationalism, pride in one’s country and more broadly speaking one’s relationship to it. It questions what it means to belong to a country, to share one culture, one language; does it justify acting in the benefit of one’s country, and where do you draw the line before you intentionnally harm others’; what even is a country, a nationality, and it what sense do you belong to one, and what do you owe it, if you even owe it anything? Is it wrong or right to feel love and attachment to your place of origin? And what does it mean to fight for your country, for its values, for its people? & other things of the like. It probably stems from my own experience as a binational person; growing up, I was always asked stuff like “but who do you root for in a football game” “but are you like really French or not?” “if Spain and France got into a war what would you do?”, and this all lead me to question “am I more French or am I more Spanish - which one am I, and which one would others perceive me to be - do I need to pick a side? And how can I express my affection to these places that raised me both differently, without undermining the other - or others? can I still be proud of my heritage given the horrors my countries have committed in the past?”. I still haven’t found a definitive answer, so my writing is just me throwing trails out to the world and hoping I’ll figure it out someday. that’s why my stories often have a war setting; firstly I just love historical fiction, and secondly it’s the perfect backdrop for all these questions to unfold.

William laughed at the idea - he, a true Frenchman! It was a very silly thought. He may have loved what he had seen of Charlotte's country, but England was not to be ashamed of any other land, for it was the only one he would love until his last breath. (Translation.)

4. just a hint of supernatural

I love me a good ghost story, and I’m a fan of everything spooky, but what’s subtly spooky, and not the gory, in-your-face horror. This particular theme may have increased since I saw The Haunting of Hill House which completely OBLITERATED ME with how it uses the house and its ghosts to tell a story of family and trauma and memories... but I’ve loved ghost stories forever. Another piece that truly resonated with me was One Hundred Years of Solitude (Cien años de soledad) by Gabriel García Márquez. It was my first dive into the world of magical realism and I didn’t make it out of there the same person I was when I entered. This one is not necessarily included in every piece without fail, because some are just too anchored in reality, but if it’s not a straight-up spirit or an otherworldly creature, I’ll always find a way to include an aspect of superstition, a myth, a legend, a tale from faraway that is neither proved nor disproved throughout the story. It truly adds to the atmosphere of the world, even in a very realistic and gritty setting, I believe.

I hear murmurs of legends among the soldiers. [...] One of those stories caught my attention, I must admit... It is not very special, nothing more than a children's tale, but I thought it was beautiful enough to please your Romantic soul. Some pilots speak of a cemetery, somewhere in the countryside north of London, which has something mystical about it, lost in the flowers that sway as far as the eye can see, in the calm rhythm of the wind, wrapped in the heady scent of eternal spring, and where the bravest warriors would go to rest forever, tired of their exploits and the continual explosions. No one knows exactly where it is or what to do to be buried there, but this beautiful image simply floats like a dream in the minds of many and, I confess, in mine as well since I first heard about it.

It is said that there only flowers dare to disturb the heroes in their sleep... This fragment of silence is called the Grave of the Roses.

So if I were to leave you, if you were to hear that I am gone...

With a bit of luck, that is where you will find me.

5. love

this one is broader and less obvious than you might think. Of course, I’ll always, always implement an element of romance to my story (and more often than not it’s angsty with star-crossed lovers or insurmountable obstacles or forbidden romances and whatnot), but there’s more to it. I don’t think I have ever written a story that is entirely grim and bleak, simply because I do not believe the world is built like that. I’ve said time and time again that love is my favorite thing in the world, and I believe it is the force that drives us all forward and connects us all together; love is, to me, the truest power of humanity, and its inherent purpose. And love covers all subjects and all types of relationships, but my absolute favorite ways to explore and show love in my stories is through long-lasting, rock-solid friendships (because friendships are often overlooked both in fiction and real life), and just a grandiose love letter to humanity as a whole. I’m an optimist, and many people who have suffered more than I have would deem me naive for thinking this - and I cannot blame them -, but as Anne Frank put it more bravely than I ever could, “despite everything, I still think humans are good at heart”. My stories are always born out of love and made for love. For the love of humanity and kindness and literature and love of myself, too, because sometimes I just like rereading the words and thinking, “wow, I’ve made it this far. look at me go.” In a word, yes, I would say that is what it boils down to; my work, but also what I hope my entire life and being will be. An ode to love.

“He admired you and truly loved you, you know. You were a good leader, I'm sure, and a good friend, above all.”

He thought she was going to put her hand on his shoulder, and prepared to bend to avoid it, but instead she came to rest on the polished marble of the tomb, which was already beginning to erode at the corners. The soft light bathed her hand, and Samuel's on the other corner, still resting above William's surname, the only thing he had been proud of from beginning to end.

“And I loved him too. I loved them all. If you only knew...”

well, I got carried away, as I always do when talking about my writing, but it made me miss it so much. I haven’t worked on any of my projects since literally October and I’m feeling the void rn. anyway, thank you again for enabling me to ramble about what I love most, Thais! and I’m tagging @softeninglooks, @lxncelot, @myriadimagines, @swanimagines & @randomfandomimagine + plus any writer who wants to talk about their marvelous work <3

#tag game #mywriting #long post #writing #ltdr

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thepeanutbutterwizard · 4 years ago

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Ninjago/Avatar au Pt6

The second half of Book 2 (hopefully)

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5)

So Garm finally reads the letter from Wu. It starts off as a normal pseudo-journal entry, but after it mentions finding the Garms old armor, but no body, it turns into more of a normal letter. Wu says that he’s missed his brother since he was banished, and that he hopes that they’ll be able to see eachother again soon if Garm is alive, and ends with Wu saying that he normally burns the letters he writes to Garm, so that no-one else finds them, but that he feels hopeful that this one could actually get to him. It’s touching stuff.

Lloyd picks up earthbending almost immediately, unlike Aang. The element Lloyd is going to struggle to learn is fire (if you don’t count his airbending being self-taught. He picked up airbending really, really fast, but bc he’s been making stuff up and trying to do what Maya did with her waterbending [Maya’s had decades to hone her style tho, not just three-ish years, but he’s like someone learning ballet only from YouTube, for only a couple of months] since there are no more airbenders [or so they think, bc none of them saw Morro airbend at the North Pole]), and I’ll get into why that is when it comes up. They haven’t had Garm start to teach Lloyd any firebending bc they’re trying to go in the order as much as they can, but Garm has finally convinced Kai to learn more than just the basics, and he picks it up really quickly.

Meanwhile, Morro is taking care of an injured Wu (and accidentally making him suffer through poorly-made tea). Now, Morro is onboard with Wu wanting to leave the Fire Nation behind; unlike Zuko, Morro isn’t trying to win back the favor of some distant parent, the only family he’s ever known is Wu, and he’s not about to abandon Wu for a bunch of people who would probably kill him as soon as they could no matter what he did for them, and Harumi made it clear that no-one in the Fire Nation is going to be extending them any mercy.

Once Wu wakes up, Morro does yell at him for doing something as stupid as taking a hit from a well-trained firebender to protect a stranger (Wu hadn’t gotten around to telling Morro ‘hey, you know that guy with the big burn scar who’s traveling with the Avatar? That’s my dead-but-not-really-dead older brother. Pls stop trying to stab him’, and Morro wasn’t there when Garm revealed his identity in the North Pole), until Wu tells him that Garm is his brother. This leads to Morro yelling out ‘You mean to tell me that the Avatar is my cousin?!?!’ And that how Wu learns that Lloyd is Garms son (’wait, what?’ ‘Have you really gone this long without noticing that the Avatar calls your brother his dad?’ ‘I’ve had a lot on my mind, give me a break!’), and now he thinks that Garm and Maya are married with three kids, one of whom is the Avatar.

They make their way to Ba Sing Se, with the help of the White Lotus. Wu isn’t the leader of them (he isn’t super old in this au, imagine what he looked like in S9, with the mustache), but he is a fairly respected member. I still haven’t come up with a Jet character who would work, and I am open to suggestions. If I do find a good character, they will definitely throw hands with Morro (mb Shade? Just cut out the romance subplot in S1 and pick a couple of EM’s to be the other freedom fighters?). And yes, Wu does get his tea shop in the upper ring (Steep Wisdom), and Morro tries to be happy and supportive, but even though he is fine leaving the Fire Nation with Wu, it does still feel like he wasted years of his life, both in chasing the Avatar and just trying to prove himself to everyone back in the Palace, so he’s pretty grumpy.

Now back to Team Avatar: at Maya and Garms insistence the kids have been picking out their little mini-vacations. They know that they only have a limited amount of time before the comet arrives, but Garm and Maya want these kids to be able to be, y’know, kids, at least a little bit, in spite of the fact that they’re growing up in a war-torn world. Kai want’s to check out that glacier-spring place by the desert, it’s kinda underwhelming, but they get fruity drinks out of it. This whole time Kai and Cole have been getting closer to each other. Kai feels a little guilty, like he’s betraying Zane’s memory, but talking to Maya and Garm about it does help him start to feel better, and it helps his over-protectiveness start to abate a little.

Jay wants to pick a really cool mini-vacation to impress Nya, and he asks the people who are in the glacier place if there’s any place around those parts, and ends up learning that about a year ago some lady showed up saying something about a huge spirit library in the desert that she was looking for. They never saw her again after that, and figure that she must have died out in the desert. When pressed (and payed) one of the artistically inclined staff members roughly recreated the sketch of the library, and vaguely remembered the area on the map she said she was going to search, and with that Jay has his mini-vacation picked out.

They set off and find the library. Cole chooses to stay outside with Ultra (who can’t fit inside) bc he thinks they’ll be safer if the only earthbender stays outside incase something goes wrong, and if they need to get out of there fast he’d only slow them down with his legs. Everybody else heads into the library and meet Wan Chi Tong (did I spell that right? I’m too lazy to check), who agrees to let them use the library if they 1) don’t intend to use the contents of the library against anyone else and 2) contribute something to his library.

Lloyd and Nya both use their wanted posters (they both thought they were awesome [Lloyd bc he’s 13 and Nya bc you can’t convince me that Nya wouldn’t be thrilled to have a wanted poster bc she’s been fucking with a tyrannical regime] and incredibly accurate considering the art had to have been done by someone using other people’s descriptions, and they totally intend on framing and hanging at least a few of their posters up in their rooms when all this is over), Kai has a copy of a poem that Zane wrote for him, Garm has his brothers letter (he doesn’t want to give it up, but he has nothing else), Jay has a blueprint from one of his inventions, and Maya has a copy of a story in a series that Koko had brought back to the South Pole over the years. Wan Chi Tong comments that about a year ago a researcher had arrived and had offered him another part of the the same series. He mentions that they should be careful, as she never left, and has been primarily researching the Avatar.

Everyone has an idea of who this mysterious researcher could be (except Jay), but they decide to be cautious all the same, just incase she isn’t who they think she is. They all start discreetly searching for anything that could be used to help them fight the Fire Nation, and they end up finding and empty placard saying something about ‘the Darkest Day in Fire Nation History’, but when they go to check part of the section on Fire Nation (that library was enormous, y’all cannot tell me that Zhao was able to destroy absolutely everything that the library had on the Fire Nation. It could only have been the last few decades/mb centuries of Fire Nation history), as well as a campsite that was full of scrolls having to do with the Avatar and different bending techniques (and a few misc scrolls about random things like cooking, engineering, etc). As they’re poking around the campsite, who else comes around the corner but Koko!

She has her nose buried in a scroll as she’s walking, so she doesn’t notice them all until Lloyd happily calls out ‘Mom!’, and goes in for a hug. Koko drops the scroll and has a happy reunion with her son and husband, as well as with Maya, Kai, and Nya, and she and Jay are introduced to each other. Koko explains that she’s been able to stay in the library so long was bc she managed to get the fox assistants to like her enough to start bringing her food and water. She also explains that she’s been doing nonstop research into the Avatar State, the Air Nomads and airbending, and the Fire Nation (though she’s really quiet about that part so they don’t catch Wan Chi Tongs attention and ire) and shows them that planetarium thing and that she discovered the eclipse. (How did she make it out to the library without a flying companion or something? SHe’s just that much of a badass.)

Koko had been saving up supplies and charting a course out of the desert, and planning to leave the library as soon as she could, but now that they’ve showed up with Ultra she can just grab her things and go. Someone, probably Jay, gets a little too vocal about how they have a chance to beat the Fire Nation, and cue Wan Chi Tong sinking the library and trying to add them to his ‘collection of specimen’. Garm and Koko are a dynamic duo, with Garm distraction the angry spirit while Koko gathers all of her scrolls and supplies together while Maya gets the kids to the exit.

Meanwhile, Cole is holding up the library, and trying to help Ultra fend off the sandbenders that showed up to capture and sell the dragon. Cole is able to put up a bit more of a fight than Toph was (meaning that he was able to get one or two good hits in) bc being in the desert doesn’t impair his vision (the sand does tank his mobility just as much as it would anyone with prosthetic legs tho), but he isn’t able to stop them or even hold them off long enough for everyone else to get out. Cole, despite being initially afraid of the large dragon, had quickly grown to be one of Ultras favorite people in their group (like, third favorite. Kai will never admit that he’s jealous), and is pretty upset that he wasn’t able to save him. More on Ultra later.

So Lloyd is really upset about losing his companion, just as much as Aang was. He doesn’t act out (for lack of a better word) as intensely as Aang, since Ultra wasn’t the last thing he had left of his people like Appa was for Aang, but Lloyd is still rightfully pissed off. He takes off shakily on his glider, leaving everyone behind before trying to search for Ultra and the sandbenders, ignoring his families protests. Koko starts working on getting them out of the desert using the route she had plotted out (using the sun and shadows to orient them and get started in the right direction), and starts planing out how long her food and water (she had the good sense to bring those from the library) will last between all of them. The answer is: not long enough.

Kai (and mb Jay too) is the one who has the bright idea to drink the cactus juice, bc while Kai, like Sokka, (and Jay tbh) is smart enough to know that drinking a strange liquid out of an unfamiliar plant is a bad idea,but the fact that it is a stupid idea doesn’t stop him. Wait, y’know what? Jay definitely tries the cactus juice, but instead of acting as out-of-it and inebriated as Kai does, he acts like he does in S9, weirdly chill and disconnected from reality. He’s still tripping balls, but he’s reacting to it differently from Kai. Cole just ends up carrying Kai piggy-back, even though the sand makes it harder for him to move (he’s crushing, and he’s the only one [adults included] whose physically strong enough to carry him for long periods of time) (also Kai awkwardly and drunkenly flirts with him. Everyone pretends not to notice for Coles sake) and everyone else takes turns holding onto Jays wrist and leading him through the desert or else he would have wandered off and died.

Lloyd gets back to them, landing hard in the sand, holding back tears bc even though he’s upset and could use a good cry he knows that they need to conserve as much water as they can. He’s got his family there to comfort him (even if Kai and Jay are kinda incapacitated atm), which does help him a bit, but he’s still rightfully upset. They find the abandoned sandbender skipper thing, find the vulturewasp hive, and come across the sandbenders. Cole is able to pinpoint the sandbender (no idea who this guy would be, Ninjago character wise) who lead the others to take Ultra via his voice bc Cole a) was trained in a myriad of performing arts thanks to his father, primarily singing b) has perfect pitch and c) never forgets a voice bc of that.

Lloyd goes full Avatar State, but is comforted and calmed down by his parents while everyone else books it. The sandbenders tell them that they sold Ultra to some guys who were going to take him to Ba Sing Se, and then they take them out of the desert (with the sandbenders getting the Death Glare from all of Team Avatar the whole way. Koko totally punches the sandbender who lead the others to steal Ultra once they’re out of the desert.)

They make their way to Ba Sing Se on foot, with Lloyd trying to get a handle on his emotions (and worrying everyone in the process), and they run into a family with an expecting mother/wife (I am also taking suggestions for who these characters could be. I’m pretty tired while typing this so I can’t think of anyone) and try and get on a ferry to Ba Sing Se. Cole, whose father is well known and wealthy, uses that fact, his double amputee status (he ‘accidentally’ slips out of one of his prosthetics. Kai catches him before he hits the ground), and his acting skills to get them tickets without passports.

And we get best girl Pixal back! She helps Team Avatar help the pregnant family go through the Serpents Pass, and it goes pretty similar to cannon, except instead of a situation where Sokka is overprotective of Suki, Jay picks up on how much Pixal likes Nya, and sees that Nya, his crush, reciprocates those feelings, and gets a bit passive-aggressive w/everyone, but Pixal especially. It doesn’t last long, bc Jay is a hormonal teenager who realizes he’s being a dick fairly quickly, but it does help fizzle his crush on Nya a bit (sorry again to any hardcore Jaya shippers who were hoping for that in this au, but it’s really not my cup of tea).

They also help deliver the couples baby, but Maya and Koko are the ones helping take care of that. Team Avatar get to the outer wall, just to see a huge Fire Nation drill heading closer and closer to the wall, ready to start tearing through it...

#ninjago #ninjago au #ninjago avatar au

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confessionsofaromanticidiot · 3 years ago

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Lord Voldemort - The reason why you should never ignore red flags in a relationship!

Disclaimer J.K. Rowling please don’t sue me but yes, we did give my ex the nickname of the evil villain from Harry Potter. Let’s call him Jamie. Jamie had every red flag known to man but me stupidly ignored them all as only a deluded emotionally unstable woman can. Again, I look back on this relationship and wonder a few things:

1. How the fuck did it last five years?

2. Why did I put up with so much bullshit?

3. How did I ignore every red flag thrown in my face?

I guess, even though Jamie was a red flag from day one, it was not always bad. Originally when we first start dating, I was actually the one that asked him out. Mistake number one, actually going on this date with the douche bag but as I said it was not always the horrendous shit show our last year together was. We ended up in a relationship for five years, it could not have been that terrible. He did tell me he loved me first, I said it back, but I didn’t really mean it at the time, but I was absolutely obliterated drunk and it just came out of my mouth.

Lesson number one people: NEVER SAY YOU LOVE SOMEONE IF YOU DON’T MEAN IT! I have had since Jamie and I’s break up almost two years ago, had at least two men said they love me, but I was not ready probably for good reason I suppose looking back on it now. (Including an extremely sexy French Doctor but we will come back to that train wreck later).

In five years, I faked nearly every orgasm yes, I know guys we aren’t meant to this, sex was not our strong point. I always was a very sexual person, but this battered my sexual confidence in a tiny box, tied an anchor to it and dumped it off a ship somewhere near the Bermuda triangle never to be seen again or so I thought. But he was kind and sweet, so I just sucked it up. I decided that this was a sacrifice I had to make because every other aspect of our relationship was so blissful (I am laughing as I type this). I kind of saw him as a fixer upper, he had a great job, family where AMAZING but lacked something to this day i cannot put my finger on it. He was never satisfied with anything in his life was always pushing for more or looking to others to see what they where doing in order to compare his life? I guess, I made the age old mistake of thinking I could change him. Also mistake number two, if he was never satisfied with the things in his life, why did I think I would be any different?

The point of this section is guess is not to bitch about my ex but to teach people not to ignore all the RED FUCKING FLAGS. You will notice I make this mistake over and over in relationships but to a lesser extent (I’ll get there I promise), but I have also learnt from this relationship to cut and run when it feels wrong because guess what? If it feels wrong, it most likely is wrong and you trust your intuition a little more.

So, some examples of Jamie’s glaring RED FLAGS, that I made excuses for

1. First night he met my best friend, we went to a night club and he hit on another girl in front of us and when I confronted him, he left us there.

2. Suffered with Anxiety, not saying that this a red flag as I suffer too but he had a dependency on alcohol to get through social events but more often than not got completely obliviated. Which meant some of the things he said or did to me when drunk where forgotten about and therefore ignored or I was told it didn’t happen that he would never do such a thing because he loved me.

3. I have PCOS (Yes, I know I am barrel of laughs right), at one stage when I was 27, I was told I could not have children (Which also turned out to be a misdiagnoses). I was devastated it was as though part of me died but he ignored and went drinking. Came home locked and woke me up had a massive argument after I had spent the best part of a day crying as though someone died. He did not seem to care.

4. I was on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) and I couldn’t really drink but yet dragged me to the pub every time and or was dubbed BORING because I didn’t want to go.

5. SEX became non-existent (Not that it was that great anyway but.._). Mainly due to the fact he was getting it from somewhere else for the last 7 months of our relationship.

6. Our last valentine day together, he used his brother as excuse to go have a night out with the other me in a hotel. Sidebar Jamie’s brother suffered with mental illness and used the fact that if something was to happen to him on our wedding day (Thank Christ that never happened), I would tell him to help him to go to cheat on me the sick bastard.

7. Point above continued, the kicker the Friday after I covered his room with tea lights and tried to make it romantic because we missed valentine’s day. He came home drunk (Feel the trend) and had a massive argument with me. Gut punch hadn’t even written my Valentine’s day card three days after the actual day!

8. When we EVENTUALLY broke up, he compared me to sturdy house, that’s amazing but how do you know you want that house and not the house next door! (Rolling my eyes as I type this)

If I look back on it now, point one with my emotional maturity I would have told him to Fuck right off and never see him again. Right but I was 25, had been cheated on before so was emotionally vulnerable. I was stupid, I left that relationship with a lack of self confidence and he was cute so I looked past a lot. As we got older, we changed and became really different people but neither of us recognized it. Well, we did but neither of us wanted to be the bad guy, so it got ignored for another year.

Now, I am not excusing the fact I ignored it too, I should have cut and run on one of the above points not allowing it get to points 6 through 8 and there were others also not mentioned. But when you are in relationship that you are constantly making excuses for people’s behavior, it becomes your default. Never do this, never let something in a relationship become a default behavior. Due to the fact someone’s bad behavior becomes normalized, you begin to believe this is just the way we are but guess what it is not how you are!!

Also, I had my part to play, I am not angel let’s be honest a relationship does not go to shit from one person being a dick head. It takes two Tango! I gave up trying to have sex with him and bought a vibrator. It gave me more orgasms anyway. When I stopped trying bar once or twice, he didn’t even try. He will never admit it, but he stopped being attracted to me physically, to be honest I don’t blame him for it. I was put on two courses of steroids prior to starting the HRT, I got to my heaviest weight and my own mental health started to decline. I would not look in mirror and who wants to be with someone that is constantly jabbing themselves with needles or crying because your jeans don’t fit anymore. Plus, I am not going to sugar coat this in any way I was an absolute CUNT on HRT. Mood swings alone was enough to make some of my family members stay clear never mind anyone else.

Does this excuse in anyway what he did? Of course not, but if I was the person I am today, point one might have given a second chance not to be himself basically and when that eventually happened, I would have left. Now, at one point I was so duped that I had a life planned for us but again as we got older our plans became very drastically different. Personally, my own life experiences made me want different things and I went through a lot of stuff that no person not just a woman should go through in their lifetime. But I matured much quicker even than some of my friends, so we were naturally at odds.

When we eventually broke up again it never really was a final argument either, I just knew I never wanted to see him ever. I realized that I cried once and it was more out of anger that he had used his depressed brother as an excuse to cheat on me. That was all that annoyed me about the entire thing, when I finally removed myself from the situation, I felt like I could breathe again.

Learning out comes, never ignore red flags, or try to identify them enough in the relationship which can be hard to do because of the honeymoon phase. Never make excuse for someone’s bad behaviors, let them live with the consequences. Be the bad guy, if you are not feeling a relationship anymore, for god sake leave before someone gets hurt. To be honest, Jamie gifted me a get out of jail card by cheating on me to leave without acknowledging part of the fault it was all on him. But no, I gave up too the cheating was just the golden ticket I needed to get out of a toxic relationship. Never allow your emotions to be manipulated, in the manner I did it took a very long time after this relationship for me to actually fully and wholly trust a man with my heart.

It’s sad really, that it came to this. If one of us had of been braver there would not have been so much damage not caused at all. But I guess my experience and reflection has brought me to you, my only hope is by documenting my mistakes, some of you may not go down the same path.

#relationship #emotional health #maturity #loveyourself #emotional growth #healthy relationships

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cmaddyshere · 4 years ago

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Sukuna’s gunna eat ya

This is my first ever fan fiction. I love this anime and hope the fans enjoy! TW rape, cannibalism, blood play.

Breakfast was bland. Everything is bland. He is just staring out of the window of this cafe watching people walk the street. I am stuck.... just watching. I want them all to burn. I crave nothing more than to destroy everyone and everything I can see. This is bullshit. I cannot over power Yuuji for the life of me. How does he do it? I whisper in his head constantly of my past indulgences. His heart races every time, I can feel his disgust with me and he begs me to stop talking. It is the only thing I have now; the ability to at least torture this putrid fuck. It feels like hours are going by and he is still fucking eating and staring. I begin to remember and whisper to him, he is getting aggravated with me. Yuuji stands and starts to leave. As we reach the door I see her. She walks fast, and hard in the street. She's clutching her purse tight to her body almost sprinting. I have seen one's like her before but she is pulling my attention for some reason. She is heading in the direction that Yuuji follows to get back to school. Somehow without my asking he is keeping pace with her. Not too close but not too far, I can make out her long hair half brown and half blonde. I haven't seen that before. Her shape is like an hour glass, nice round bust (at least from what I can tell from her back) a small waist and large hips. Her butt is round like there are two people side by side blowing big bubbles with bubble gum. She has long muscular legs and with all of that being said somehow her frame is petite. A gust of wind could probably knock her over easily. We end up on a path in the park where she seems to turn left, and Yuuji turns right. I cannot stop thinking about her, I just want to see her face.

"Yuuji, do me a small favor, and I may have to return it."

"What do you want?"

"Follow that girl."

"The two color hair one? She's pretty...but why should I follow her?"

"I will owe it to you if you indulge me just this once. Please follow her...I promise I won't kill her."

"I don't know...this seems risky and I don't know you're not actually going to hurt her. I don't know if I can do that for you."

"I promise I will not kill her. Please just this once, just follow her."

He's thinking it over, I can hear his thoughts. Yuuji is worried that I only seem to repeat my promise not to kill her, and how I won't acknowledge hurting her. He is so cautious of me although he is absolutely right to be. I cannot promise not to hurt her, that is all I want to do.

Yuuji turns to walk in her direction. We walk for over an hour. She had headphones in and has seemed to relax her body. She is completely unaware that he is following her. We near another part of the city by what seems to be an apartment building. Next to it there is an abandoned building about 4 stories tall. My need is building. I am so desperate to see her face I need to get closer. Strangely, as my need grows Yuuji's will to remain in control fades.

"Sukuna what are you doing? I feel like i'm losi.."

SNAP

I am in control now.

This body is growing, my muscles are peaking through, my marks are bright on his skin. I can feel my power growing. This urge is uncontrollable now. I have to get to her before I lose to Yuuji again. I pick up the pace and come within grabbing distance of her. I reach her in front of the abandoned building. I extend my right hand out and spin her around by her right shoulder so fast she almost falls over. I maneuver my left arm to catch her by her waist. She looks up at me stunned, maybe horrified.

"Who the what the what the fuck are you doing? Do I know you?"

Her voice is soft and high pitched. She sounds near tears.

"Nooo you do not know me. You look even better from the front princess. I think I will have you for dinner tonight."

"Wha..what do you mean by that?"

She's shaking. Her face has become red like a ripe tomato. She is doing everything in her power to make herself smaller. Crossing her arms over her chest, bringing her legs tight together, bending her knees ever so slightly making me tower over her; she's been hurt before. People like her had obedience beaten into them. Little does she know this is just fuel to the fire that is burning inside me now.

"I do not say things that I don't mean. I will have you now and for as long as I can stand it. You cannot escape me and I swear that I will have every last fucking part of you."

I cover her mouth and drag her into the building. She is wearing a tight black tank top and a short black skirt. With my right hand over her mouth and arm over her chest I reach with my free hand under her skirt. She's wearing thin silk panties that aren't quit a thong, but seem to blend effortlessly between her cheeks like they were made to be on her. I hook my finger into the top and pull them down to her feet. I lift her and swipe them off of her. She's crying now. Shaking hard and sobbing uncontrollably but not even trying to fight me. I remove my hand from her mouth but bring my arm across her throat. She grabs my arm with a feeble attempt at freeing herself. I bring the base of my hand to her mouth hard. Her bottom lip caught on her teeth and she cries out. Once her mouth is open I stuff her panties inside. I throw her over my shoulder and ascend the stairs. I decide to stop at the third floor, as there is a gaping hole in the wall facing the park that allows the moonlight to illuminate the room. I look around and see a dirty mattress on the floor by the wall next to the crumbled one. There is trash scattered about. I look around for something to tie her up with when I remember Yuuji had rope in his pocket. I do not remember why he had the rope, something to do with training I don't really remember or care. I walk over to the mattress and kneel onto it. I swing her over my shoulder and onto the mattress. Her face is stained with tears and a small amount of snot. I swear she gets prettier the harder she cries.

"Whaauudootttmmmm"

"Princess don't try to talk, and stop crying so much you're going to choke."

I could not make out what she was saying and I did not want to. I turned her on her stomach and pulled both of her arms behind her back. I used the rope to tie her forearms and wrists together behind her. I flip her back on her back and admire my work. I brush my fingers on her outer thighs, damn she is so soft. Her skin feels like butter. She smells so good I think I hear my stomach growl. She looks up at me with pleading eyes still with tears covering her face. I lean in close to her ear and whisper.

"You may call me Sukuna or sir. Nothing else will do. I don't mind a struggle but know if you actually are able to hurt me that will not help you. If anything it might make this urge stronger, and gods help you if that happens."

She nods in compliance. She's trying so hard to keep her legs closed but I am so much stronger. I pry them open and press my pelvis between them. I just can't stop looking at her. Chest heaving, warm body, shaking and panting like she cannot possibly get enough breath in her lungs. I trace my fingers again over her outer thighs, I drag them from her knees to her inner thighs. I reach her skirt and flip it up to her stomach. I press my thumbs and either side of her inner thigh so close to her lips. I glance up to see her eyes shut tight. A smirk emerges across my face. I keep my hands placed and lean down to her lips.

"Open them now."

Still they're shut tight.

"Baby girl open them now I won't ask a third time."

She opens her eyes reluctantly. There's drool pooling at the sides of her face, soaked with saliva and tears, I can feel the fear radiating off of her being feeding my inner heat. I lick her bottom lip, and pull it so lightly with mine. She opens her mouth slowly but not slow enough. I suck her entire bottom lip into my mouth hard, unforgivingly. Her breath is heating my face up and I let go of her lip slightly to where I bite just a little completely off. There is a lot of blood for such a small chunk missing. She cries and screams through her panties to which I chuckle. I bring my hand up to her mouth and toss the panties aside. Her shaky voice is so wonderful. I start sucking hard on her bottom lip drinking up all of the blood I can. I moan at the taste of her fluid. I crash my mouth fully onto hers forcing my tongue inside. I use one hand to choke her with the other sneaks under her back to bring her mid section tight to mine. I feel frenzied like I want to taste more, but I hold back as I am not ready to be done. Her nipples are so stiff now I can hardly ignore it. I release her from our kiss and let go of her throat. She's panting so hard now desperate to catch her breath. I pull her top down underneath her breasts, I did not even realize she wasn't wearing a bra. They're so perky and round. Her nipples have metal bars that pierce them, I haven't seen that before but I think I like it. I take a moment to soak in the scene in front of me. I lower myself to her throat, where I lick and kiss softly. I can feel the vibrations of her subtle moans on my tongue. I move to the side of her neck leaving a trail of butterfly kisses down to her shoulder. I use both hands to press her breasts up and together. I gently suck and bite on her sensitive buds. They feel so amazing inside my mouth. I feel the urge to bite her again, but I think I will wait just a little longer. "This is different", I think to myself, as she adjusts herself. She wraps her legs around my waist and she has stopped crying. She's almost pushing her chest towards me like she wants more. I can hear her little moans as my need grows wild. I let go and smack her face hard. She's bleeding more now, I lick the blood from the corners of her mouth needily. I turn her over and smack her ass even harder, a bruise is already forming. I search Yuuji's pockets and find a little knife. It's smaller than I like but it slices his finger open smooth as can be. I taste the blood dripping off of it. Fuck. I take the little blade and trace the smooth side over her back. She's breathing hard again, but seems conscious not to cry. I flip the knife over and make small slices across her back. Small strokes turn to longer strokes. There is blood everywhere. I can hear her muffled tears. I take the knife to her shoulder and stab into it. She screams and writhes underneath me but there is nowhere to go. I am sitting on her lower back with my shins behind me holding her legs down. I slide the knife out of her and suck the blood from her wound. I lick fervently all over her back being sure to get as much as I can. I ball her hair up in my fist and pull her head towards me. I kneel behind her and wrap my left hand around her throat. I apply pressure slowly to the sides of her neck, I feel her panic seep in as her breathing becomes more shallow. I bring the knife to the top of her genitals. Again teasing her with the back end of it. I use my chin to force her head down so she cannot look away. I use my knees to keep her legs apart and force her to sit on my groin. I make a small slice to the inside of both of her thighs. Blood trickles down her legs. I play with it with my fingers, and bring my fingers to my mouth and suck them clean to taste her once more. I use the blade to slice her some more in the space between the lips of her pussy and her inner thigh. She inhales sharply and cries out gently. I fold the knife up and put it back into the pocket. I spread the blood across her pussy. I can feel it throbbing as I work more and more of her blood across her folds. She presses her butt into my hard cock. Another small moan escaping her. I work her over with small light movements of my fingers. I slide them over her slit and wonder how much she is actually bleeding. It seems to fucking wet and warm, I start to think she was actually sopping on her own. I slip my fingers into her folds and find her clit. She moans a little harder and presses into my member even harder.

"Princess tell me, if you could live without something what would it be?"

I lessen my grip on her throat to allow her to answer me.

"ahh what do you mean? What would I want to live without?"

I am still gently running my finger in circles around her nub.

"If there was a part of you that you could live without what would it be?"

She is looking down at herself, gently moaning and thinking about my question.

"You should think harder before I make that choice for you baby."

"Are you going to try to bite me again like before?"

I can hear the panic start to rise in her voice.

"Well I can just choose myself and let you figure out the rest."

"Okay, okay I know I know what you can have please just let me live please I don't want to be eaten alive I just want to go home I want to go home please please."

"Tell me little girl what part will you live without?"

She is sobbing again. Her face soaked with blood and tears, she mumbles lowly to me.

"You can have the inner lips, the slightly longer ones inside my actual pussy, or the inside of my thighs but nothing else please don't kill me please I am begging you. Do anything to me I can take it I can I don't want to die."

I press my mouth to the nape of her neck with a satisfied low growl. I open the knife once again and slice off her labia. She screeches and collapses face first on the bed. I turn her over and place myself between her legs, careful not to press onto her bleeding mound. She stares back at me, mouth gaping as she watches me suck her flesh into my mouth. I chew slowly and savor the taste of her. My cock stirs, I feel myself almost close to release. I make sure to chew in her face letting the blood seep out of my mouth. I lower myself to her bloody hole. I sit for a second to admire my work. I make a really clean cut. I can smell the irony smell and taste it once more. I bring my tongue over her fresh wounds, I lick and kiss them gently. I begin sucking the blood off of her, and take my tongue in circles around every part of her needy cunt. I settle my tongue on her pulsing clitoris. I start lapping at it, circling it and sucking on it. She's still crying but now she's moaning too. She's breathing so hard and moaning out into the open little curses. I move my mouth to her inner thigh. "I can't help this." I think as I sink my teeth into her. She screams so fucking loud. I can't take it anymore. I press the backs of her thighs to the bed as I tear these clothes off. I pull his pants down and my cock springs free. I dig my claws into her thighs just under her knees and position my tip to her entrance. I take it and slide it over her bloody wet folds, with no warning I slam my long, thick member into her hole. She cries out again, still sobbing and screaming I lean into her face. She's shut her eyes again.

"Open."

She complies.

I wait for her to gather herself as I take her in once again. Staring into her eyes I notice they're green, maybe jade. She's so goddamn pretty all messy like this. I keep our lips touching but sure not to engage and I pull my length out slowly, and slam into her once more. She seems to have forgotten about the pain. She looks into my eyes and evens out her breathing. I slowly pick up the pace, making each stroke hit her in just the right spots. She's so fucking tight and wet she has to want this. She seemed to know exactly what flesh she was willing to part with so easily I imagine she has always wanted this. Our lips graze together as I fuck her harder and harder. She starts to moan in ecstacy.

"Do you like that? Do you like how hard I fuck you? Do you like watching me taste you? Fuck baby girl you taste so goddamn good. You feel so fucking good wrapped around my cock princess. Tell me how much you want this."

She's moaning so loudly now. Crying out for me to bring her to her peak.

"Please don't stop sir, I've never felt so full before. I don't want to stop I need it, I need you."

She's building to her climax. I can feel the walls of her tight little hole almost sucking back, burying me deeper inside of her. I pick up the pace and slam into her. The sounds of her wet cunt sucking on my cock begging for a release is almost too much.

"Tell me what you want baby. Tell me and I'll give it to you just this once. Be a good girl and tell me."

"Sakuna....oh fuck...fuck..please..I wanna feel you inside me...please sir...I'm so close.."

Her walls were pulsing, her climax was coming. I couldn't keep from spilling my cum inside her. Hot, thick ropes of white spurt everywhere. Coating her walls completely, it feels like it lasts so long. My cock jurks repeatedly spilling more and more inside of her. I pull out a little and watch the tip spurt just a little over her lips. It oozes all over it. I notice my balls are soaked, she had been squirting her juices all over me. I fucking loved it.

I collapsed on top of her. I could feel my control fading..before I knew it, I was gone.

SNAP

I came to when I heard Yuuji sniffling. He was looking at this girl in front of us. She was covered in her own blood and juices. He saw my cum seeping out of her pussy, as well as the slices there. He pulled her up gently. Sitting her up he untied the rope from her arms and placed it back into his pocket. She looked at him so confused as to the change in appearance. He stared back, unusually blank in his own mind. He helped her to her feet. She was not able to walk well. He picked her up bridal style and carried her out of the building. He brought her to a near by hospital and sat her in the edge of the parking lot on a small patch of grass. She looked back at him.

"You're not Sakuna anymore....are you...?"

"No. My name now is of no importance. I am sure if you yell loud enough someone will come get you. Make sure you are seen you will not recover from this on your own."

With that he began to walk away.

"Hey! I'm Ari..... I am sure I'll be seeing you again."

She yelled to him. He kept his pace.

"Why did you not take her inside? That seems very unlike you Itadori."

Silence follows, I can hear him searching for the words to answer me.

"You know Sukuna...sometimes I get tired of being the nice guy."

#sukuna #itadori yuji #jujutsu kaisen

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theseerasures · 4 years ago

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Conspicuous Media Consumption, 2020

it’s that time of year again! *saddest toot from the party horn*

for those of you just joining us: it’s a “consume a different content every week for 48 weeks of the year” challenge. for a longer explanation, check out last year’s write-up here, and as always, feel free to pop in and ask questions about any and all of this content.

(same disclaimer as last year too: content for this project ONLY here, and not certain...*looks at my billion Sad Cop Lady posts*...hyperfixations.)

(man remember when i was big into X-Men comics earlier this year? better times than these, if only because no one's discoursing about Emma Frost’s woobie/war criminal ratio anymore--her w/w, if you will)

(...i swear at one point i didn’t exclusively like platinum blondes but alas)

Bitter Root (comic, 1 issue finished 1/1/2020): still very cool on a basic concept level, but runs into the Image Comics problem of just not having enough content to keep my interest beyond that. part of that is on me, for picking it up again BEFORE the second arc rolled out, but the first five issues didn’t really follow (or resolve) any cohesive story either, so...meh.

Immortal Hulk (comic, 3 trades finished 1/17/2020): still not gonna be something i care deeply about (maybe one of Bruce’s Hulksonas dyed his hair???), but i do want to give kudos to Al Ewing for sheer consistency in terms of sustaining this level of quality storytelling month by month for more than two years now. working with the dense archive of the Hulk mythos and managing to make it interesting and thoughtful is impressive even if i personally would not expend the same effort.

Disco Elysium (game, finished 1/18/2020): honestly i should have twigged onto what this year was gonna be like when the third thing i drew from the barrel was pure uncut Eastern European flavored depression. i faintly recall people ragging on it for being pretentiously cynical, but i actually thought its core slid more towards idealism than people give it credit for. also gratified that i haven’t heard anything about Robert Kurvitz using slave labor to finish it, which is a thing we have to say about our video games now!!! fun.

Watchmen (TV, 7 episodes finished 1/27/2020): i am a fool who wants to believe in Damon Lindelof and I WAS RIGHT!!! honestly still cannot believe that he pulled off this highwire act with such deft aplomb. might be my favorite TV this year, which is a pretty high bar given how much TV i ended up watching.

On a Sunbeam (comic, finished 2/1/2020): Tillie Walden rightly deserves all the praise for inventive queer storytelling, but i will say that on reread--since i first read this as a webcomic--there ARE some issues with pacing here that clearly come from the foibles of its original intended medium. still just excellent, even if after some plot significant haircuts i was having trouble telling a few folks apart.

Lazarus (comic, 1 trade finished 2/8/2020): it’s so good and i want moooooorrrreee--though obviously Rucka and Lark have the right to take all the time they need. the newer longer issues work really well with the epic prestige drama vibes of the story! i’m into it.

The Good Place (TV, 4 seasons finished 2/18/2020): i’m gonna be super honest: i actually wasn’t a big fan of the finale, nor the last season as a whole. it felt like all of Eleanor’s flaws vanished for a majority of the season, and the Chidi-centric episode where they tried to give a legible justification for why he’s Like This was...i didn’t care for it. still, it’s so good and unique on the WHOLE that we’ll literally never get anything like this ever again, and that counts for a lot.

The Old Republic (game, finished 2/21/2020): it’s an MMO so it will never actually Be Finished so long as the servers aren’t shut down, but i caught up on the content i’d missed in the intervening months. Onslaught thus far has mostly been...kinda bland tbh; going back to Imps vs. Rebs after all the shakeups in the previous expansions feels like a waste.

High Road (album, finished 2/22/2020): someone should tell Kesha not to say that word!! otherwise i was very happy with this album, and happy FOR her even though we don’t know each other. being able to find joy again in the same genre of music you made while you were being horrifically exploited is very cool.

Young Justice (TV, 13 episodes finished 2/28/2020): given how much the middle stuff dragged--STOP KILLING YOUR HIJABI CHARACTER IN HORRIFIC WAYS--i was...actually kinda mad by how the end managed to stick the landing anyway. the day being saved by Vic’s self-acceptance and Violet’s sublime compassion was A+, and even the Brion/Tara switchup was a pleasant surprise, though it relied on me caring about Brion MUCH MORE than i actually did.

Manic (album, finished 2/29/2020): do people still care for/about Halsey? i feel like even That One Song that was on every tumblr gifset ever has kinda faded into obscurity at this point. this album was...okay. i feel like people give Halsey a pass for extremely obvious lyrical turns that they wouldn’t for other folks because of her subject material--which is fine. not really my cup of tea, but i also listened to lots of Relient K this year, so that’s probably a good thing.

Jade Empire (game, 3/10/2020): the only 3D-era Bioware game that didn’t franchise out, and for good fucking reason!!! the Orientalism and appropriation really haven’t aged well, and even beyond that the story was...standard Bioware faire. even my usual “my wife’s a bitch i love her” Bioware type didn’t do it for me, and i just ended up romancing no one. it did make me think a lot about what level of cultural borrowing is accepted nowadays, and why: people still look fondly at Avatar and talk about how ~accurate and respectful it was, for example, despite it being staffed almost entirely by white folks, and the Orientalism ALL OVER the monk class in DND is still fine for some reason.

Alif the Unseen (book, finished 3/31/2020): interesting to have read this AFTER reading The Bird King last year, because it highlights how the intervening years have shifted G. Willow Wilson’s thematic interest and improved her craft. i’m actually quite fond of how her characterization work is rougher here--Alif is extremely flawed to the point of being insufferable, but it makes his development by the end more satisfying. Dina is also just good and i love her

Baldur’s Gate (2 games, finished 5/31/2020): well, having finally finished the series i’m happy to say that it...still doesn’t really do it for me, sorry. any awesome story moments were overshadowed by the EXCRUCIATING inventory management system and the combat (i still don’t know what a THAC0 is and at this point i’m afraid to find out). these games crucially lack the Home Base that later Bioware games were so good about, and that (coupled with the huge cast of characters you can drop off and never see again) really hurts the intimacy for me. by the time we finally did get one it was the Hell Dimension in Throne of Bhaal, and i was just...trying to get through it. (yes, i did just say that about one of the most beloved expansions ever to one of the most beloved games ever.) THIS particular iteration of “my wife’s a bitch i love her” was very good, but the game wouldn’t let me romance her :(

The Underground Railroad (book, finished 6/19/2020): honestly what is there even left to say at this point! it was exactly as good as every critic on the planet said it was, even with my usual aversion to hype. draining and horrifying in turns but still insistent upon a future for Black folks.

Steven Universe (6 seasons and a mooooooviiieeee, finished 7/11/2020): yes, i DID finish the show and almost immediately begin a rewatch. this series is now one of my top five most formative things, and the amount of love and respect i have for it is incalculable. that said: i once again did not love how the central conflict of Future was resolved (just the resolution--i loved the finale just fine). for all of Steven’s breakdown was built up, resolving it with “EVERYONE HUG HIM UNTIL HE CRIES” felt...cheap, especially since up until this point the show had been so good about treating trauma and mental illness with the respect and nuance it deserves. it made me wish some of the earlier, less substantial episodes had been cut so we could spend more time at the end.

What It Is (comic, finished 8/19/2020): y’all i love Lynda Barry SO MUCH. for the longest time i was worried that One Hundred Demons was more a lightning in a bottle situation but every book of hers i pick up makes me feel obscure emotions i didn’t even realize existed. the compassionate way she’s able to describe her child self and how weird and fucked up she was (and still is) is honestly aspirational.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (TV, 5 seasons finished 9/26/2020): so here’s a reversal of what i’ve been complaining about with other shows: i was mostly lukewarm-to-warm about She-Ra, but the later seasons and the finale made me much more into it as a whole. more shows should improve in stakes and overall quality as they age tbh!! i still don’t actively love Catradora (my sole quibble with season 5 actually has to do with the way Adora kept backsliding as a character to make certain Plot/Relationship things happen), but i’m very happy for them nonetheless. i can certainly appreciate a show that will go for High Feeling over tight plot. dark horse standout moments: trees growing everywhere proving that Perfuma Was Right, and Hordak and Adora seeing each other--that weirdly intimate moment of recognition.

Fetch the Bolt Cutters (album, finished 10/7/2020): again i find myself not having much to say that no one else has said. it’s good! once again love it when an artist reclaims something they’d attached with negative affect (anxiety, depression, disordered eating) for better and brighter things.

Solutions and Other Problems (comic, finished 10/25/2020): i was very into Allie Brosh’s ambition with this book, which feels weird to say but i stand by it. it’s cool to see an artist try to make a new medium work for them instead of just sticking to what already works. not all the experimentation was 100% effective, but it was still delightful and occasionally devastating to read, so.

Legend of Zelda (3 games: Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, Link Between Worlds, finished 11/1/2020): this was the third time i’d played Ocarina of Time, which made it the nice, comforting groove i settled into before Majora’s Mask blatted me in the face. i’m not usually a completionist Zelda person because...the gameplay in Zelda is bad, do not at me it just is, but i really felt like i HAD to be one for Majora’s Mask since the whole point is to get attached to the banalities of the town. i’m sure nobody’s surprised that i loved it, even if it gave me an existential crisis about how life goes on in the game for NPCs when you’re not there to save them from it, and there’s not enough time to save them all all the time (also not a surprise to anyone: Romani and Cremia gave Personal Feelings). Link Between Worlds...bad. not like in a “this is a bad story by every measurable gauge” way, but i was already struggling with the 2D playstyle shift enough that for the whole story to end with some “yes it’s v sad that Lorule is Like This but trying to steal Hyrule’s privilege is Even Worse Actually” noblesse oblige bullshit left a VERY poor taste in my mouth, this year of all years. i did audibly gasp when Ravio took off his mask, though. i’m currently playing Breath of the Wild in cautious increments; it’s the first time i’ve enjoyed early Zelda gameplay, but if they wanted fully voiced cutscenes i wish they got voice actors who...knew what words sound like.

folklore (album, finished 11/6/2020): my belief that Taylor Swift is Just Fine continues, i’m afraid. i LIKED this album, don’t get me wrong, and respect her constant drive to innovate, but i didn’t love it substantially more or less than any other Taylor Swift album. mostly i’m just tickled by how she thinks leaning into the indie aesthetic means borrowing Vita Sackville-West’s entire wardrobe, though i will admit to feeling Something when she swore in a song. i think it was like. savage vindication?? you go ahead and swear, Taylor Swift. you deserve it.

Shore (album, finished 11/19/2020): do people still care about the Fleet Foxes? i think there was some Drama with Josh Tillman a while back but i don’t remember where the discourse landed with who was being more problematic. it was nostalgic for me to listen to their new album--made me remember being an undergrad who exclusively listened to men who mumbled and played acoustic guitar all over again.

Star Wars (3 movies: original trilogy, finished 11/27/2020): there is So Much bad Star Wars these days that every time i rewatch the original trilogy i’m afraid that they will suddenly be bad, but guess what! they’re not. i love these children and their hot mess stories, i love that Lando doesn’t know how to say his best friend’s name. what stood out to me this time was the way Obi-Wan described the Force in A New Hope, which strongly implied that ANYONE can be Force Sensitive; that obviously faded with each subsequent movie, but part of me does wish they’d kept it.

X of Swords (comics, 22 issues finished 12/5/2020): i am enjoying Hickman’s X-lines!!! not so much here for the Grand Conspiracy or whatever, but the character work and highkey weirdness is fabulous--they FEEL like X-Men, despite all the shakeups in-universe. this crossover is a nice microcosm of all that: grandiloquently all over the place, but still full of cool standout moments and genuine hilarity. ILLYANA DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SPELL MAGIC.

Fire Emblem (4 games: Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance, Radiant Dawn, Awakening, finished 12/14/2020): this was the thing that i was closest to giving up early on, but i ended up hyperfixating on it instead. that’s a credit to what the gameplay does to my lizard brain more than anything else, because the story and character writing is...insipid. it was very bizarre to witness this franchise blunder around with its animal-people racism allegory around the same time i was getting back into RWBY, and ITS animal-people racism allegory blunders. Awakening was the first time i felt anything for the franchise beyond “teehee red units disappear make exp bar go up and brain go ding,” so i’m excited for more mature storytelling in subsequent games (they MUST get better. they MUST). the child husbandry thing is...very bad tho, and Apotheosis being “challenging” entirely through the game changing all the rules is also bad.

once again no vidya games that came out this year--i’ll probably pick up Spiritfarer or Hades after the New Year, though (or maybe TLOU II! but probably not. sry Laura and Ashley). more TV and franchises this year, which made me feel In Touch with the Children but was also kinda exhausting. nothing was so egregiously terrible i dropped it without finishing! in a year like this that feels almost like an accomplishment

#conspicuous media consumption

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omoi-no-hoka · 6 years ago

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How to Choose Japanese Manga/Books for Studying

In an ask recently, a user asked me what reading materials I recommend to study with.

I’ve covered the standard textbooks here, and today I’ll talk about how you can determine whether an authentic material is suitable for your studies. All of this advice is based upon my studies in SLA (Second Language Acquisition) and TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages), as well as my personal experience learning Japanese.

What’s an Authentic Material?

Authentic materials are print, video, and audio that are not classroom materials, but are things made for Japanese (or any other target language) speakers. A mock advertisement in your textbook is not an authentic material because it is not made for a Japanese person, but an actual Help Wanted ad in a Japanese newspaper is an authentic material.

Authentic materials can be just about anything audio or visual. Manga, light novels, newspapers, magazines, jpop songs, anime, news broadcast, etc.

Today I’m just going to focus on visual authentic materials, but if there’s interest I could make a future post about audio materials too.

1. Decide Your Method of Reading: Intensive or Extensive

When reading to study a foreign language, there are two different ways to go about it, intensive reading or extensive reading.

Intensive Reading

Reading and looking up every single word you do not know, even words that aren’t essential to understanding the main points of the story.

Pros: you learn a lot more vocab

Cons: it takes considerably longer to make progress

In order to do this method effectively (and by effectively I mean “resist chucking your book out the window in a fit of rage”), you must comprehend ~70%* of the content.

Extensive Reading

Basically what you do when you read in your native language. You read each page, and even if you come across a word you don’t know, you keep going. You only look up words that keep coming up, or that hinder your overall comprehension of what’s going on.

Pros: you cover more ground and get a bigger sense of accomplishment

Cons: you can miss out on smaller details

In order to do this method effectively, you must comprehend ~90% of the content.

Neither reading method is better than the other. Choose which style suits your personality best. Personally, I’m one of those people that has to know every last morsel about everything, so I only do intensive reading.

2. Determine How Difficult a Material Is

Up above I said you had to be able to comprehend either 70 or 90 percent of the content depending on the method you want to go with.

In extensive reading, you need to be able to understand almost all the words because you can’t stop to look up a ton of stuff. If you have to look up 15 words on a page because you can’t understand what’s going on, you’re not doing extensive reading--you’re doing intensive reading.

Now, as for the 70% I put on the intensive reading, there’s a bit of give with that, depending on how patient you are haha. If you’re okay with a crawling pace, the comprehension could be 10% if you want. But if you’re like me and you’re a bit hasty, you’re going to want to be able to comprehend around 70-80% of the vocab.

So how do you figure out how difficult the content is? Pick a random page and the first 100 words on it, and count the words you didn’t know. Subtract the words you didn’t know from 100, and the answer will tell you roughly how much you can comprehend of the text. Easy, right?

3. What Makes a Bad Material

I’m betting that anime/manga is what got most of us interested in learning Japanese, and there’s probably that one really nostalgic manga you’re dying to read in its original Japanese format.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but just because you love a series doesn’t make it a good learning material.

Things to Avoid in a Material

Lots of technical, scientific, or military jargon

I know that this wipes out a large swath of series, but the point of reading this is to learn Japanese, and there’s a good chance that most of the vocab you would learn would not be usable in conversation. Why waste the time learning 白刃取り (catching a blade between two palms) when you could be learning something more practical?

Period works (Edo Era and further back)

Many (but not all) period pieces contain a bunch of obsolete words, and the last thing you want to be is one of those gaijin that uses “gozaru” unironically. I tried using the expression 村八分 (ostracism) and got laughed at by my coworkers just last month because that just makes people think of villages in the Edo period.

Long Chapters

Particularly if you’re doing the Intensive Reading method, it’s important to give yourself a sense of accomplishment. It took me an hour to read one page of a book for one of my classes, and 30 hours to read ONE chapter. It was the most frustrating and endless experience I’ve had to date. Pick manga (because chapters are short) or short stories. (I really recommend Hoshi Shinichi’s “short-short” stories.)

Don’t be like poor Kagome

4. What Makes a Good Material

I have saved the most important condition for your material until last.

Are you ready?

Here it is:

Make sure it’s something you like!

I know that this is so basic I shouldn’t even have to say it. But listen, for one of my Japanese courses in uni, I had a semester to read one of Haruki Murakami’s novellas. It was the most difficult and frustrating semester I had because not only was it super hard for me vocab-wise, it was boring as hell. I didn’t enjoy the story, and the ending was so

alskfjksldfjsd

It’s been 6 years and I’m still triggered. It was awful, and it made me feel like all of this toil, all of this suffering, had been for nothing. I thought that I hated reading in Japanese. But actually, when I pushed myself to try reading a manga I liked, I learned that I didn’t hate reading Japanese--

--I just hated reading Murakami.

If you find a material that is the right difficulty level and is appropriate for your purposes but you don’t find it interesting, it’s likely that you’ll get bored of it and quit halfway through. But if you like a material enough, even if it is too difficult for your current level, your love for it can give you the extra boost of motivation you need to push through it.

My favorite manga series of all time is Rurouni Kenshin. It was the first anime I ever watched, and it kinda started me down the road I’m on. So I decided to read the manga, and oh man is it a chore. I’ve read 14 volumes and have looked up 1,577 words as of today. It has a bunch of obsolete Japanese, it has so many sword words holy bejeezus (this is where I learned 白刃取り, btw), and it can take me hours to get through a chapter sometimes.

But I love that series with everything I am, so I don’t care how long it takes.

Really, what matters more than anything is that it’s something you are really invested and interested in.

5. How Soon Can I Start Reading Authentic Materials?

Did you know that the average native Japanese person cannot read a newspaper until they are a freshman in high school? That is how hard Japanese is. For the native speakers.

I hate to be a Debbie Downer here, but I would recommend you wait to use most authentic materials until you are N3 or N2. I finally began feeling comfortable reading stuff in Japanese around when I passed the N2. I understand that Chi’s Sweet Home is popular for beginners, so that isn’t to say that there are no authentic materials to be found for new learners, but they are very hard to find.

But hey, if you are determined enough, there is nothing that can stop you from reading what you love, and nothing worth having is easily won. Ganbatte!

#study japanese #learn japanese #study kanji #learn kanji #japanese language #nihongo #japanese #study resources #jlpt #langblr #japanese langblr #studyblr #ask #Anonymous #japanese resources #ask me anything

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roswelldetails · 5 years ago

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RNM 2x05 - I'll Stand By You

So just a little note from me, the person behind the season 2 detailing. I am trying really really hard to keep emotion out of these posts...which is really really hard for me because I'm an inherently emotional person. I'm a glass case of emotion, ready to shatter at any given moment. (#dramatic) But I want to be true to the intent of this blog and keep my feelings, biases, and, you know, shipping out of this blog.

It was really really hard to do with this episode. Because I straight up ugly cried for like, 45 of the 60 minutes. 😂

So I guess, the point is, I'm proud of myself and sticking to the details here. My regular blog is where I'm doing the emotional flip out thing! 😂

EPISODE SUMMARY:

ACCEPTING REALITY — The discovery of some complications with Max’s (Nathan Dean) pod forces Liz (Jeanine Mason), Michael (Michael Vlamis) and Isobel (Lily Cowles) to confront the possibility that they may not be able to save him. Elsewhere, Maria (Heather Hemmens) and Alex (Tyler Blackburn) make amends. Kimberly McCullough directed the episode written by Alanna Bennett & Jason Gavin (#205). Original airdate 4/13/2020.

DETAILS:

Max/Isobel/Michael reunite at age 11 according to what Michael tells Alex in 1x10. So that would make the opening of this episode set in 2002ish.

Michael tells Max and Isobel, "I remember you. I don't know you."

"After nobody adopted me for a year they just stuck me with the name of that trucker who found us."

"I didn't ask you for anything."

This is like the thesis statement of Michael's whole history with Max in the flashbacks.

"Don't pay more than you collect, kid. Passing credit back and forth is a good way to get stuck with somebody forever."

Rosa's art.

What I can see says: "...what they all told me, but I didn't listen" and "Stand the shelter".

Rosa on her dreams

"I have not had any freaky dreams in weeks. Okay, Max is probably off haunting Isobel now that they're strong enough for their psychic twincest weirdness."

"How long has that been happening?"

"Um, I don't know. It's an old boom box."

"Rosa, have electrical appliances been malfunctioning around you?"

"I really thought it was just a side effect of the handprint."

"If being in the pod introduced a new protein into your system it could have altered your DNA too. You could be developing abilities."

"Liz, look. The handprint is changing. It's smaller."

"It's fading."

"Tell me this is a good thing."

"I don't think so."

Michael and Liz theorizing on why the pod shorted out:

"The pod's got a charge. It's like a battery powering the preservation process. This one's gone dead."

"Did the generator blow the electromagnetic threshold?"

"I think a surge came from the pod itself. But that pod has lasted almost a century. It shouldn't glitch out."

"Okay, well, then, this one did."

"All right, stop. It doesn't matter why the pod is broken. It just is. So how long does Max have?"

"My theory is that being tethered to Rosa through the mark is what kept Max from going brain-dead, and in turn the stasis process is what kept the mark from fading. So he could be gone by tonight."

"Okay, well, we have three more pods. So let's just put him into another pod."

"No. He's just gonna do it again. I haven't told you everything. I didn't want to scare you. I didn't want to be the one that took the hope away."

"Talk now, Rosa. Right now."

"I was seeing Max in my nightmares months before I told you about it, and he was begging me to stop you. He said that he was in a lot of pain in there."

"That's Noah's pod. Noah told us it was broken. It wasn't keeping him in stasis. He could feel time passing. None of us thought of that."

"We've been doing everything we can to make Max stronger. He pulled his own plug."

Note...as far as we know Isobel was the only one who knew about Noah's pod being broken. In 1x12 it was before Liz arrived at the house that he told them about the broken pod, so only Max and Isobel heard that part of the story.

Alex on his training. "NSA intelligence cryptology training".

Monitor screen in the secret lab:

Noah's heart is still too weak to transplant. Kyle says it needs at least eight more weeks

"I wrote a paper for a bioethics class on patients in vegetative states who feel pain. Sometimes it's all they feel."

As a non sciencey person, I was wondering if bioethics class was a real thing. Tonight I saw an interview on the news with a UC Berkeley bioethics professor on COVID. So yes, it's a thing.

Alex on Michael that summer post-Rosa's death:

Starting fights with jocks

Broke into the drugstore

Not going to UNM

Hasn't hung out with Max all summer

Got busted for stealing hubcaps (Kyle's hubcaps, we learn later)

Became a walking bar fight

Was in jail when Alex left to enlist

Michael on Max in 2008:

"It's more than that. And it's less than that. We were friends when we were kids, but now Max reminds me of a bunch of stuff that I'd rather forget. The only thing that we have in common anymore is Isobel."

Max's yearbook had a pencil stuck in the page with Liz and Max's photo in it. (The one we first saw in 1x03).

"Biology Club. Max hated science. He was in that club for four years just to watch your sister chew on the end of her pencil."

Max's mindscape:

First just desert, clouds, and then lightning strikes (destructive energy?)

Liz's antennae -- they disappear from Isobel's hands

Rosa describes it as broken

Crashdown special is Max's favorite "Little Green Man milkshake".

The Crashdown counter is kind of merged with biology lab equipment.

The juke box is there

The Crashdown booths

Jeep

Neon Crashdown sign

One of those claw drop game machines (from the Crashdown) but it's filled with baked good displays.

The yearbook

Later, everything else is gone except the one Crashdown booth, the Jeep, and the neon sign.

The distorted music they follow to find Max is the Cactus Groove song in the music list...just, messed around with. See @angsty-nerd's post here:

"I'm the hothead. You are the hero. It's always been that way."

"You stole the hubcaps off Kyle Valenti's graduation present. Both his parents are cops. Do you want to end up in jail tonight?".

👀 Tonight, specifically.

Michael seemed excited about the job at Foster's Ranch until he found out that Max set it up for him. Max found out about it from his dad (only like the 2nd or 3rd mention of his dad in the series so far).

"When I got back in town I asked Max why you and your brilliant mind hadn't changed the world yet. He said you didn't care about the world enough to bother changing it. He believed you could."

Max and Isobel in the mindscape:

"You're okay. I could feel something was wrong with you. Everything felt…"

"Cold. I know."

"You can't be here. It's finally ending. I can feel it. But I don't know what happens if you're in my head when I die."

"So it's true? You want this?"

"I could feel my connection to the outside world getting stronger, so I snapped. I couldn't take it anymore. I released a surge. You have to let me go, Iz."

"I can't take it anymore."

"Okay."

"I am so sorry."

"I just want to memorize this."

"Okay. Okay. I need you to tell Liz something."

"You can tell her yourself. She and Kyle are prepping for surgery. They're going to use the faulty heart. She just wants to talk to you before you die."

"No. No."

"You won't be suffering. They're just gonna bring you back and then let you go."

"No you have to stop this. You cannot bring me back under any circumstances."

"Max? What is really going on?"

"I am dangerous. Whatever Liz is bringing back is not me. It's just some broken shell."

Maria on her mom's computer

"Her nurse said that for the two weeks before she went missing, when she wasn't trying to escape, she was talking to someone online."

The 21st birthday flashback

Isobel gets Michael to help move Max after getting drunk on tequila. He passed out in front of the tattoo parlor. It's the same tattoo parlor Michael goes to at the end of the episode.

Max's weird drunken statement.

"The thing is, there has to be there. Okay? There's always three. Until the very end. I'll show you...What it means is you should be here…'cause it's all broken without three. So we'll figure it out. You'll find your way back."

👀 Until the very end. Interesting.

On Max becoming a deputy:

"You know he did the whole police academy thing because of you, right? He thinks you're gonna get into the kind of trouble you can't get out of if you don't know someone."

Back in the mindscape:

"I figured it all out. She, there's an energy to suffering, there's an energy to death, and when I heal people, I absorb that energy. So when I resurrected Rosa, I took in ten years of emptiness. So if you resurrect me, you will be bringing back an infection. Don't want… I don't want to come back as a monster. I don't want to hurt anyone that I care about."

"That's what this is about? We've been hurting, Max. We don't work without you."

"You will! You will. You are stronger now than when I died. All of you are. You, Michael, Liz, you will survive this. The three of you. No, you need to stop them, Iz. Now."

"Okay. I love you."

"You too." Isobel disappears.

Max is using pretty similar wording to his drunken rambles in the 21st birthday flashback

We don't see that Max is chained down until this next exchange with Rosa. Isobel didn't see that detail as far as we know. Didn't hear the chains clanking when they stood and hugged. Only after Isobel left.

"I'm sorry this is happening."

"Isobel is lying. She is buying time. You know she'll never let me go. But you can feel the darkness too, right? That's why you don't like being in my head. Because you know it's real."

"I didn't want that to be true, but yes."

"I know my sister and I know your sister and they'll never give up. So you have to be the one to stop this surgery, okay? Or I will destroy everything that we love. You have to stop them to save them. Now go. Please, Rosa. Go."

Isobel explaining to Liz

"When he saved Rosa he absorbed all of that dark energy. He's gonna have to expel it."

"And he's afraid he's gonna kill someone when he does."

"Yeah. So we just need someone stronger than Max to take that hit...if he thinks he needs to protect us he obviously doesn't know how capable we are. Bring him back, Liz. I'll handle the rest."

"I get it now. It's gotta be the three of us."

"He would never pull his plug to end his own suffering. Unless he thought he was saving us from something. And I'm a little sick of his heroic martyr crap."

In case you missed it, Michael did not know that. At the beginning of the hospital sequence Isobel is telling Liz what she learned in Max's mindscape and says that she hasn't been able to get ahold of Michael. Michael figured it out on his own. He finally "got it".

The pacemaker:

Isobel with Max at the end… everything is gone except the Jeep. And Bright Eyes playing (the song he and Liz danced to on their first date back in 2008). And then his eyes close and Bright Eyes fades away.

“First thing I remember is the three of us. We woke up terrified and lost. But together. And then all of the sudden I was alone. I got real good at being alone. I had given up on people entirely. And then you found me again. Hell of hero move. You showed up just in time. When you are a kid who nobody loves, kindness is a currency. Friendship doesn’t means jack. Family just lies, and hurts, and leaves. I’ve only ever known love to be temporary. So yeah, I push people away. Every time someone threatens to care about me I test their love until they have to leave. Connection is conditional. Everybody eventually gives up on the guy who refuses to be rescued. But you were the only one who I couldn’t run off. You never believed me when I tried to be something I wasn’t. So this thing in your chest, it might give your heart a pretty solid kick every once in a while. Consider it payback. It’s my hero move, Max. If you wake up, you consider us even, okay? If you wake up, we can be a family.”

Good visual parallels during Michael's speech. Alex and Kyle drinking together during the "and then you found me again". Maria walking up on "the guy who refuses to be rescued"

Max is in the coma for three weeks. Wakes up at the secret lab (instead of his house, which is where he was previously. I'm guessing it was a planned wake up because he's no longer plugged into all of the IVs and whatnot.

"I begged you to understand."

"Max, it's gonna be fine."

"No… I told you to let me go. I can feel it inside me."

"It's...it's symmetry, okay? It's just energy for energy. We can deal with that. Fight it, Max. This isn't you."

"I don't want to hurt you. I need to get out. I need to get away from you, from everyone."

"I can't let you do that."

Max shoves Isobel and runs. When he shoves her there's a slight ringing like the sound they use when the aliens use their powers. Isobel follows and stops him with her powers.

"I made a promise that if you came back and you weren't Max, and you were actually going to hurt people that I would kill you. I figure, hey, you got to play God. Make life and death decisions all on your own. Well it's my turn now."

MUSIC:

1. Letters To Cleo "Here and Now"

2. Lady Antebellum "Love Don't Live Here"

3. Cactus Groove "Fallin"

4. James Talley "Big Thunder"

8. Ross Copperman "Stars Are On Your Side"

5. Lindsey Ray "Keep You Safe"

6. Tommee Profitt feat. Sam Tinnesz "With you Til The End"

7. Bright Eyes "First Day Of My Life"

The Cactus Groove song is the first song this season that I haven’t been able to find on Spotify… let me know if any of y’all had any luck with it!

#roswell new mexico #rnm season 2 #episode details #long post #rnm 205 #i'll stand by you

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