#I personally use Homeless unless asked otherwise for other people

[batwynn]

Love how people will go online and brag about not seeing other people as people with their entire, disgusting chest.

And then, of course, there’s the comments agreeing or doubling down on how the person was ‘doing too much’ etc. God fucking forbid someone asks for something with some specifics, never mind what dietary needs they might have. Never mind that cream and sugar offer actual calories vs black coffee.

[bmwiid]

Could your roommate at least pay their part of utilities, gas, electricity, internet? Or groceries? Because it is simply not fair otherwise, just mooching. Yes, some people have less money than others, but I had relatives who lived with other people in hard times and they paid for the groceries and electricity (and when they finished university and got a job, slowly paid them back some rent) One even did all of the laundry and cleaning when between jobs because he did not have money but had the time (and needed to be busy, was happiest doing a task)

She had to leave home under bad circumstances and I live on the motto of "you'll never be homeless unless I'm homeless"

We agreed that once she was back on her feet she'd pay rent, and rent would cover everything except food. She can use my car and rent would also cover adding her to my car insurance. I'm not asking for a lot (£250) just enough to cover the fact it's more expensive on bills. I thought that was really reasonable?

However, since then she's had two holidays overseas, bought herself a LOT of things that all add up (I know how much £5 here and £20 there can add up to a lot because I'm super guilty of that!!) and is having her boyfriend visit her for a weekend in town and then he'll be staying here - and she'll be taking the car all that weekend and she didn't even ask if that was okay.

I know I'm not the best person to live with - I'm not the neatest but I hire a cleaner twice a month to off set that (I did this before she moved in, for my mental health) and I have 5 cats which I know is a lot an annoys her, but I feel like what I asked for was reasonable taking those things into account.

And then I feel guilty about asking her for money because she says "I'm so poor and I feel so bad!!" all the time and I KNOW she's struggling!

I just feel like.... I don't know.... A mixture of guilt for feeling annoyed with her, and anger over that feeling of being used?

But I'm also a coward who hates confrontation and I'm used to putting other people first from growing up with mum.

[scentedchildnacho]

She asked me about the brown alien that sleeps on her mess.....so I told her about jurying that situation that I'm fine she goes terroristic and tried to threaten as many people in there as she could

She steals her mess....I take interest in ethnography and anthropology and you have to work for those name brand labels or they hurt you you can't steal those name brand labels

You can't just be a doc martin if your not a working selected birther if you don't work it causes her to be very manic and possessed by a car dude in some way she goes very manic and can't control herself because she steals

I also wanted to know if I just didnt meet the right case worker and if I got to act like a little kidd with Christmas like hannakuh early and she just steals things with drug dealers

She use to be nicer so I don't know otherwise why her personality would switch so infectious and virulent unless a manic episode

I get Nikes because I have been sweated and extreme endurance walked like an Asian sweat shop you can't just steal mall labels

Equal exchange birthers get those things because like sew crises in China they donate body matter to those who need it can't be those labels if you don't live it's unfair condition

She said I was so quiet about her running at me and trying to hit me....so I told her I had to go to high school and I'm not actually someone that averse to getting into it with people but people my whole life have warned me about terrorist attacks that you cannot in any way imply fight or it will implode explode at you

Community theory and commodification if you aren't home economics and do everything for yourself and your community the corporate structure is humans and humans use human beings

You have to self govern.....or the corporate structure will claim public money is its private wealth attack and slaughter you wealthy people hate poor people

Its homelessness everyone here has been very traumatized in some way and it's not okay to treat people in ways other then it's a rest home....so she I think will be called a terrorist people who keep shocking awake traumatized people who shouldn't be touched physically yet or intensely is wrong

Denying people the right to express the emotions surrounding how traumatized they are and shocking them psychologically to continue stereotypical personas is wrong like Nuremberg trials wrong

Al quaida kind of holds ya hostage with smell threats on Mal stored stolen items

I told her I tried to tell her that she is manic because she smells like someone sprayed a car gas on her but trying to do an exoneration or self defense jury for her really set her off and she started screaming all sorts of horrifying witchy curse outs

She gets violently angry if not allowed suicidal mania and huffing so

Simm theory...i use to have a basement room and geek compulsively to technological stimuli and virtual reality I later found out did just look really sad exploitative and molestive to people I use to think I looked awkward and not socially correct and found out it was really sad to people

Well both correct they also had very sad things about themselves and you can't go if your not perfunctorily correct

So I found out about serial killers that that same program is something a therapist helps them attach to sexually.....so I think she gets very aggressive if not allowed hyper manic sexual fantasy

That's why I was called a mental I wasn't ever aware of what happened to me sleep walking hypnotics

I was a Lutheran and drunks batter protestant women and it becomes a charity population

I found out about indigenous artist john Smith and I totally would choreograph a stereotypical performance with lady nuns like zongzi lady as catering sympathetics

I totally would want to publicly stage my most embarrassing compulsive acts and treat it like an lgbt community network

She was threatening that black lady in the pull out cot with the staff mop or trying to smell that playboy bunnies inner upper legs so I think it's like a whole skit for her

That's why I'm not too afraid of her I just had to be threatened with being ran at and hit the black ladies I do find intimidating I think will finally make her leave them alone

The black lady in the cot is kind of mean about feeling crowded like cover your mouth or you can go over there but threatening her with a mop was not something she deserved....

People should not make people aware that they were being kind of mean in ways they don't deserve

Its also that old scoliosis lady in the lower bunk next to mine farther from the door she screams witchy stuff all the time Robert a. Johnson explains as witchy people are hated because they snitchily enjoy soveriegnty stolen from women and women especially suffer if soveriegnty is stolen from them if disconnected

She likes screaming whore and bitch at us and she will kill and hates us all....this other bunk people explain is for certain types of attention....they find it a comedy routine and want attention from motherly types trained on psychopathic children

And now the psychopath child may have a cannabinoid tincture

I didn't know why under trump I ran away from hospitals and media later showed me they were cutting up COVID victims for body organs

Witchy...I had in Texas a pastor from northern minnesota give me more intelligent daily theology to read and that said agnosticism is theology if a bible in any way cannot be correctly translated then you don't know anything about God as an existent

Witchy those people truly believe in Leviticus and trespassing and it's like salem they try to persecute the church with propagandic Bibles

Then like a whole half of a town was gone under COVID....a whole half of the homeless population will go under are you a witch trials and just be gone

The other insight....Robert a. Johnson would give is James Joyce....people seek for in depressions and post apocalyptic conditions something truly life affirming and epiphany producing

I sometimes forget that Irish people are very attractive and desirable entertainers for a lot of people

An astrologer told me that I am attractive and that's why I'm very ignored in these situations people truly seek someone unattractive who can give them that experience of divine accord that will renew them from virtual cage depression ...

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

I know this is in agreement with my post, but honestly seen this made me think on the other stuff I posted earlier that isn't mentioned.

Because yes, Miguel having control on those three things is indeed a problem; but I feel this wouldn't be that big of an issue if the circumstances were different. This organization could work, even with Miguel being the one with the watches, if it wasn't run in such a sketchy way that is.

But it never dawned on me to summarize everything wrong with the society in a way that would be easier for other people to read, so thank you for bringing that up.

In summary:

There are levels of information; how much a spider person knows (the canon events, which canon events, so for) appears to be kept a secret until you are prove trustworthy or circumstances force you tell this information. Not telling you the terms of contract before signing is part of cultish behaviour (though on its own is just sketchy.)

Asking people in vulnerable positions to join the force; knowing very well that this person now has to obey your commands or risk homeless/insecurity/etc. This also includes the possibility of people relying on the Spider Society for food, mental health resources, perhaps medical care- as long as you obey and do what Miguel says.

Having a central dogma that is the focus of the operation, to the point keeping said dogma takes more focus over looking for real solutions.

Said dogma also enables a cycle of suffering, ensuring that the tragedies that happen before continue happening to others as a way to justify the existence of said hardships.

Obvious, but still important: the Dogma also comes at the cost of the mental health and well-being of the members; needing to do things that would surely impact their mental health (like letting people die,) getting in dangerous situation where the focus is more protect said dogma, etc.

Unable to question authority, to the point that may be grounds for expulsion. This also means a lack of free will in other areas.

The existence of inner circles, with people who may not face consequences or less of a reprimand by being buddy-buddy with someone or directly the higher up.

EXTREME levels of surveillance, which they may or may not know about. (Because I wouldn't discard that people aren't aware the boss may just watch when they are off duty.)

The organization prioritizes the Spider-man persona over the individual; rationalize this duty should be more important than any other responsibilities you may have. This has the added effect of isolating people to anyone who isn't a spider-person, and since is difficult if not impossible to met other spider-people (unless they are in your universe) otherwise, this creates a us vs them mentality. Because the people in your world don't get you, you can't even tell your secret, but you are safe with us, the people who understand and know what you are living.

A leader with anger issues, prone to over react, and seems that the angrier he gets the less he listens; which is already a problem with someone who is quick to anger.

I believe I caught everything? A few things I feel can be part of previous points and this was suppose to be a SUMMARY.

Part 1 or 2 should involve all of those points with the longer, in-depth explanation, but for anyone who wants a recap, this is it.

Spiderman Society and Manipulation Part 2

Horrible Copy Mechanism and the Responsibilities you put in your own shoulders

Part 1

Oh boy this is going to be interesting for sure.

While I was writing the first part I originally wasn't thinking of writing this section at the beginning, I thought considering the situation it was better to focus in how the lower rankings and people in need are put between a rock and a hard place, and in the cultish characteristics it has.

But then I realized is not just that is a horrible copy mechanism that they are more or less using as a crutch, it also involves why Miguel is convinced over this, and also the responsibility that still comes with it.

WARNING: The following chat will have talks about trauma, recovery, and accountability. It will also include mentions of real religious manipulation and cultish behaviours.

If you think any of this could be triggering, please consider skipping this one.

But before we address the sad reality that is enforcing canon by the eldest/higher up members of this society, let me address something that I didn't mention last time.

Part of the reason all of this is bad is because Canon is fake, this theory falls apart by the seams, and this makes the society more like a cult exactly for this reason!

Here is the long version of why I say this so firmly.

But because I don't want to sent people to do homework, here is the cliff notes version:

Canon Event ASM-90 cannot be happening at this moment, because Spot IS an anomaly. Also, Miguel said himself that canon event ASM-90 is when a captain dies in a battle between the spider-person and a nemesis, but Spot isn't Pavitr's nemesis, and Miguel himself said that Spot shouldn't had happened and is another anomaly like Miles, so why Captain Singh should had died at that moment?

The black matter that supposedly is happening because Miles broke canon? Was happening BEFORE we saw the captain. The alchemax building is breaking down, and has a dark matter absorbing it, which gets bigger and bigger as we see our heroes descend, and then in the same spot the building felt, now there is a black hole! Coincidence? Doubtful.

Miles's universe didn't fell because he became a spider-man, even if by being an "anomaly" you should expect to cause some sort of reaction, right? Further more, he blames Miles and Co for the hole in the multi-verse, but this is ignoring the fact the spot not only was the one to transport the spider, he has MULTIPLE of them. But Miles's universe has no reaction to any of this somehow? And the only issues it had was because of the collider messing up?

Look dear reader, I feel the fact that Pavitr's example doesn't fit the bill by Miguel's own words, and Miles's case in ITSV has jackshit to do with being anomaly; is safe to say this isn't about canon. Is about what is happening.

Because Miguel, Peter, Jess and the rest are so blinded by this idea of canon on Spider-man, they can't notice an incongruity as they are explaining it to you.

You guys know what this means? This means that instead of learning what is actually going on with Pavitr's universe (probably more related to physics than spider-man in itself.) They are wasting time and resources in preserving a mythos that so far feels more like trying to fit a pattern and mix destiny with physics somehow.

So the question is...how come is that they don't see it? Why they believe in this well?

WELL-

Here is the interesting part about the "Canon is part of every spider-man story,." While is a horrible thing to say to people just starting that need to deal with the fact that they will lose love ones and suffer great hardships because of their work, for those who are over? Oh this is great news.

(I swear while looking at this I had a flashback of "G-d's time is perfect" and "Everything happens for a reason," after having a personal hardship. Goddammit this really falls in the steps to a cult way too much.)

Okay but seriously, I saw a lot of people over the past few months complain about how the other spiders could let this happen, and this is so horrible how come Miles is being the only real spider-man here-

Is trauma, is all back to trauma.

Because okay, we don't know until which point the canon theory goes; I would say most spider-people are bit when they are teens or young adults (tho there are universes where Aunt May or Uncle Ben got bitten- yes as senior adults.) So I wouldn't be surprised if the "canon" events Miguel has mapped out has already happened to Peter, Jess and him, considering that at least Peter? Has been doing this for almost a quarter of a century; the others can't be too far apart for what I gather.

So while for someone like Gwen, Miles or Pavitr means "oh this is the list of horrible things you are going to suffer, sorry kid." For people like Peter, Miguel and Jess? Is probably more of a "oh those tragedies that you faced? They were part of the universe making sure it stays intact, is okay."

The sad reality, one of the most twisted things about this situation, is that the system uses the trauma of the eldest members to ensure they continue the cycle.

A funny thing about cults and many religions quite honestly, is that they have specific believes in place to ensure that people are not just indoctrinated, but are also incentivized to perpetuated the doctrine and make others do the same. Almost like evolution, the ideology behind became this way in order to ensure it is believed and doesn't die out like other beliefs.

I know I already put warnings previously, but now I want to bring a real life case because I think I need to hammer home how these beliefs can be so hard to shake off.

WARNING: Talks about Missionary Work, Murder, and passing mentions about colonialism.

The following discussion will involve the case around John Chau's missionary work and end, if you want to skip it, the discussing will begin and finish with the gif below.

So, in case you guys aren't familiar with this guy.

John Chau was a young man, he liked to go on adventures and was a passionate evangelical christian, who also liked to do Missionary Work. He went to a few different places, but the one were he died was in North Sentinel Island. He was killed by the native people there.

North Sentinel Island is among the last few places that has a group of people that are disconnected from the rest of the world. Every time someone tries to establish contact they killed, or at best, barely make it alive for what I recall. We don't know exactly know why since no one has been able to establish communications with them.

Now, I can't have this chat and not mention that is better to leave those people alone. They clearly prefer to continue with their traditional ways, and if you had seen some history you can probably tell even if they were interested, chances are this would end more poorly for them than anyone else.

Considering their reputation, that it is ILLEGAL to try to contact them for that exact reason (John Bribed two fisherman to leave him in the island, there is no way to get there without breaking the law.) You may be wondering, why he choose to go there?

Well, as mentioned before, missionary work; because he firmly believed this was "Satan's last stronghold" since no one was able to preach Christianity to them yet.

Okay, I know I am messing with the tiger here, and I don't want to insult anyone's faith; but I also have to be honest. I am Jewish, but I am a convert, my family is christian (I prefer not to say which branch but is probably obvious,) and while I will try to remain neutral let's say is hard when you are still processing stuff that happened to you.

I will say this, for all the people who called this man a "deluded idiot" when I remember this case, I feel two things, one of them is pity, and the other one is rage.

For starters, trying to force a religion into others is wrong in my eyes, (In Judaism is forbidden to proselytize, the traditional thing is actually deny converts until they ask for a third time.) It also forces an erasure of culture and colonialism, a lot of times trying to absorb past beliefs just to make the new believers happy, which muddies some stuff later on.

So, why I still feel bad for him?

Because he thought he was doing the right thing.

As someone who doesn't believe, in my eyes this is horrifying; but for him? He believes if he doesn't go to preach to this people, they may suffer in eternity for never hearing about Jesus. In his eyes, if he goes to them and convinces this group of worship his lord, he has now given eternal happiness and peace to this people; or the possibility to do so.

I feel bad, because this man was convinced to do something dangerous and bad, by thinking he was saving the lives of these people.

Sorry for the heavy topic, but I feel this was a good way to understand why the society does what it does. Because by bringing real life situations, I think is all the easier to understand how easy you can end up in these places.

Miguel theory doesn't just provide an explanation as to why the dimensions work the way they work, they also provide a nice explanation as to why they all had lived similar struggles, while they had suffered this much.

Is a balm to all those old wounds, because I am pretty sure Peter, nor the rest of the other adults that are "done" or mostly done with the canon events, or heck just suffered a few of them- still had their nightmares and hard times remembering all of the people they lost.

But if they learn about this after? Now they know it wasn't their fault, this was suppose to happen.

Remember what I said earlier? "G-d time is perfect"? That's something I heard growing up, from people who needed to hear that this has to have a purpose, serve a deeper meaning.

Otherwise, is just suffering.

However, can you see the parallels now? A belief that uses the pain and trauma of their members to make them believe, gives a "justifiable" and "noble" reason to continue pushing this narrative too (aka if we don't do it the universe collapses.) And just as well, is also fake, yet they are too blinded to notice, and they are now making people suffer for most probably not good reason while neglecting to learn what is actually going down.

Yeah, this really hammers more than anything the most cultish aspects of the Society. Because it is at is core.

Miguel's Biases

Now, I am convinced Miguel's canon theory is wrong, I know we can't know for sure what's going on until BTVS, but at this point I am rolling with that idea because too many things are adding up for me.

Yet despite how it becomes obvious in a way I consider embarrassing that Miguel doesn't notice- He is blinded by his own theory.

We all have our own biases, is not odd that we are inclined to believe things when they are said for people we respect, admire or look up. Similarly, we are also inclined to believe things more quickly when they align we pre-established world views, or favours a narrative you are more inclined to believe in.

(Yes I admitted how that means this work and others fall into this category, the reason they are as long as they are is because I try to at least to be able to justify my position in some way, and lay all what I think in case someone wants to debate me on it.)

My point with all of this, is that the reason why Miguel cannot see the holes in his own theory as he explains it, is because he is biased by the narrative he has done in his head.

I said this a million times already and I will say it again: No one believes in this more than Miguel, while I think Jess and Peter believe some things and are doubtful with others, Miguel believes all the way.

And just like some missionary people going too far, he can justify all the things he is doing because of this. Because is for the "greater good," and as long as it is for that reason, slamming teens into the train while screaming "you are a mistake!" Is all to save the multiverse.

But we aren't seeing a guy convinced to do things the hard way because sometimes tough situations demand desperate measures. We are seen a man try to cope with his guilt so poorly he created an entire unit dedicated to preserve this idea.

This is horrifying.

And now everything he has done colours different, because let me tell you, if you think too hard about his behaviour now looks a lot more authoritative and insane.

Projection is NOT a great Look Miguel

You know? I firmly believe a lot of people in Miguel's side are biased by his angsty demeanour, by his looks, by the power he has. This isn't to say I am not biased, is just that is not in that direction.

Not gonna lie I can't see this guy throwing stuff and don't remember a couple of temper tantrums my dad has done.

Regardless of my biases, I believe is for this reason I can say that honestly? I find embarrassing that Miguel throws things like that.

Again, I feel these scenes changed a lot the context once you put together that canon isn't part of saving the universe, and that Miguel is getting so worked up about something that until I see the contrary, is a theory he came up by himself with no other backing.

Which means he is throwing stuff at people for no good reason, getting worked up to intense levels that are not appropriate; all while being the boss that doesn't like to be questioned.

Honestly this part isn't exactly necessary on cult leaders, but I would say it happens.

(Again, I don't want to call this necessarily a cult; regardless of how much I think it fits the bill. There are multiple criteria, and I can't evaluate everything.)

One way or another, Miguel's reactions aren't anything good. Think about it, if your boss threw things around when he was angry, would you consider that safe?

Because you know what I consider the most telling part of all of this? Neither when Miguel throws the trashcan, nor when he throws the console, has anyone being surprised about this behaviour.

Let me repeat this; even if this wasn't about Miles, Miguel apparently is known for this enough that no one is phased.

Forget that they are super heroes, I don't think is a great look when the leader of your organization gets so angry he can't think straight, to the point he reaches the wildest conclusions.

This is another reason why I think the mental health in this institution has to be shit, 1) You can't have a harmful belief that enforces suffering and have good mental health, is not feasible. 2) I don't care if Miguel is the boss, or is probably his decision not getting help; is downright embarrassing he is let to do these things and no one questions if he is out of line.

Remember, this shouldn't be a dictatorship, regardless if this was Miguel's idea and operation, if you can't question the leader even if he is wrong; that's tyranny, and all just needs the boss to be wrong once for things to go south.

Now imagine when the entire system is flawed.

Now, the following part feels like I may be repeating myself, but the previous part was about how these actions are bad; and the second one is about why having mental health issues isn't a defence,

I imagine by this point, perhaps someone may want to come out of the woodwork's and say "But you are being completely unfair! Miguel is clearly hurting about this, he is not thinking clearly! That's why he screams to Miles that he is a mistake, he is projecting!"

(Sigh.) You know? I don't think there is a lot of people who would seriously try to say that about someone making a theory like this is still justified to do what he does, because he is clearly trying to substitute reality with his own, but because I had gotten WAY TOO MANY TIMES the "oh poor Miguel/Peter they are traumatized!" I am going to do the thing that is the real reason this post will be controversial.

Because disregarding your mental health to the point is hurting you and affecting others IS BAD TOO.

HEAR ME OUT!

In real life, there are complications like not having money, not having resources you can go to, maybe you are living with an abusive person who will not let you get any help- Things are very complicated, and there are many reasons you are stuck.

This isn't Miguel's case, for starters.

The guy clearly has money, he even has a spider-man psych which means the guy knows how the secret identity goes and has a psychological degree, so you can say he has an available, viable help just right around the corner. He is also a middle-aged man, meaning he should know better.

Because here is the thing, for all the dumb shit Gwen has done, she is a traumatized teen with not the best support, not adults she can rely on, and has a dad which copy mechanism is "I have a job to do," which is the same thing she does. I can believe she doesn't know any better, and will not take the best decisions either. I did my own fair of mistakes at that age so I can't talk.

What is Miguel's excuse? I am sorry, but I feel when you are at that age, when you have a responsibility this big, (that let's not forget everybody, HE CHOSE THIS, no one forced it onto him.) You need to be able to look in yourself and know when you can lead or not, when you can be trusted with big decisions or not. By this point in your life, you shouldn't rely on other people to tell you need help. If you are so much in your own head you are not seeing what's in front of you, that's a problem you need to fix.

You could try to argue that at that point he obviously will not see it, but 1) Honestly people let him get away with it, as we can see. 2) Do we know he would listen, considering this situation?

That doesn't mean letting him go rampant, that means "we took the executive decision you aren't fit as a leader." I am not joking here, Elon Musk was kicked out of paypal for less dumb shit and that's saying something.

I had heard so many excuses over the years about angry men that refuse to address their attitude issues because, "he had a rough childhood," "his father was absent," "he is stressed about work." All while being told that you need to grit your tear and bear it.

I can't take seriously a guy who has the money and the means to recover, yet refuses to confront reality because is more comfortable to fabricate something in your mind.

ESPECIALLY NOT when he is involving more people into his twisted system, that perpetuates people having MORE TRAUMA, all to justify his own.

All, while putting the multi-verse in danger, because he decided to take this task upon himself yet using his own flawed narrative.

And you know why I think Miguel being wrong in multiple things, (his theory, behaviour, literally throwing Gwen for questioning him and "letting him go" and not for disobeying- seriously why throw a way the justifiable reason if it isn't meant to be something?) Is not bad writing in my opinion, is because-

THAT'S THE ENTIRE POINT~!

Notice the funny thing about all of these scenes? All of them have Miguel showing being in the wrong.

Miles is telling Miguel it was the Spot, because it literally was; the black matter started way before and he saw it.

Miles IS Spider-man because he has earned that title, and not by doing a checklist of pre-approved events to see if he fits or not the bill.

Miguel is wrong because he is literally mad at Gwen for questioning him, and is insisting Gwen let Miles go; which is funny because PETER was the one in close quarters with Miles, and had a much better chance of capturing him.

But he isn't given any a reprimand for his behaviour, he gets scotch free while Gwen is being blamed for that blunder; and hey isn't something very traditional of corrupt systems of power favour those close to the inner circle while the "problematic members" are blamed for the mistakes of others?

And you can see all the other mistakes I had laid down already.

Because Miguel is the antagonist.

He is a man so blinded by guilt he has created a whole system made to keep it intact, is absolutely absurd to realize how crazy everything sounds once you put all of these pieces together.

Yet the point of this story is how even while having the most noble of reasons, if you are so focused on the past you are forced to make it your future, you may miss the opportunities out there to make it better.

Just like someone living in an unjust society, convinced it needs to perpetuate the status quo because anything else would mean the end of the world as we know it.

It really shows how sad and twisted this can be.

Oof, that got a little heavy huh? Sorry about that, is hard not to get intense.

Still feel a little crazy seeing the parallels about cults because I don't think the team realized how much this is hammering home with that; or maybe they do and I am underestimating them.

Thank you for anyone who came along in this ready! As always if you have the chance please support my ko-fi, and if you can't, please share this post around!