#I only post about BOYD but it’s okay I think he deserves it

[astro-duck]

Sometimes with headcanoning non-canonical autistic characters with autism I’m like “It’s a stretch but I love the character and so I’m here for it.” Sometimes I even disagree (rare).

But sometimes the show is DuckTales the characters are Huey and Boyd the episode is Season 3 episode 6 “Astro-B.O.Y.D” and there is no neurotypical explanation for anything that just happened. Sometimes it feels like the show forgot to mention that these characters are definitely canonically autistic but they 100% are.

[andreafmn]

I’m Not Afraid - Chapter 4

Word Count: 3,616

Characters: Female Reader Argent Character, Original Male Argent Character, Derek Hale, Allison Argent, Scott McCall, Stiles Stilinski, Isaac Lahey, Lydia Martin, Chris Argent, Jackson Whittemore

Story Description: (Y/N) Argent arrived at Beacon Hills to put to rest her father’s sister, Kate Argent. For the first time, her family has decided to settle down and sustain a life in this interesting small town. After 17 years, (Y/N) has the opportunity to establish interpersonal relationships but will she be ready to face the complications that come with relating to her cousin’s, Allison, friends; especially, the infamous Derek Hale. She will face the adventure of being associated with the Derek and McCall pack as well as being faced with the discovery of certain aspects of her life she never imagined.

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Teen Wolf, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and MTV Network. The only thing I own is Argent Reader insert, her immediate family, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ storyline.

Chapter: 4/?

A/N: If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

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Chapter 4

After the eventful day yesterday, I could say that today was extremely boring. For some unknown reason, Stiles and Jackson had not shown up to school. But, after what happened I would have missed too, but I left my bike here and I needed to get it back. I wasn’t planning on staying longer than needed. Once the day was over and the clock hit three, I sped off to my house. I was still tired from yesterday and all I wanted to do was take a big long nap. My body felt heavy, and my head hurt like hell. 

But once I got home, I knew that I wouldn't be sleeping like I wanted to.

"What are you doing here, Derek?" I asked as I took off my helmet.

"We need to talk."

"No, we don't. There's nothing to talk about."

"(Y/N), please. You have been avoiding me for almost two weeks now. I need to know why." He sounded desperate. 

"And I want to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop. Guess we won't be getting any answers today." I tried to walk to the door, but he grabbed my arm. "Let. Me. Go."

"Please, just talk to me. Give me a reason." His stare burned a hole in me. "Please."

"Seriously, Derek. Just leave me alone." He finally let me go, my arm feeling cold missing his touch.

"I won't stop until you talk to me and explain."

"Then get comfortable, sour wolf, you'll be waiting a long time." I entered the house and locked the door, finally letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

I changed into comfortable clothing and started cleaning the house. My parents would be here tomorrow, and I wanted to make sure the house was spotless. Truly, I just needed something to take my mind off Derek. Why did he make me feel this way? Yesterday the only thing I was wondering was why HE was there. And I didn't want to think that way. I didn't want to care about him. Not now, not ever.

After I finished cleaning, I found myself with nothing to do, so I ran upstairs and took a shower. I tried to take all the time in the world but there wasn't enough. I got out and went to bed thinking of the events of yesterday.

I was running through the forest and I felt someone chasing me. No matter how fast I ran, the creature ran faster. Before I knew it my body had collided with the floor and towering above me was the thing that had screeched last night. It looked lost, like it needed to find his purpose. His slit eyes stared down onto mine and his sharp teeth expelled a sort of saliva that trickled down to my face. His tail was moving up and down my legs teasing a cut. I wanted to move but I knew if I did it would try to kill me, so I stayed put. I closed my eyes and awaited what would happen but instead of death, a roar sounded. Startled, the creature screeched, and I screamed back.

I woke up screaming and sweating just 5 minutes before my alarm would make a sound. I got out of my bed and went to take a shower to relieve me from the dream I just had. It sounded just like the screech from two nights ago. My body felt cold, and I had goosebumps everywhere. To calm my nerves, I put the water in a hot temperature and let it ease my muscles and relax my body. I would have maybe called Isaac but, after knowing he's somewhat involved with whatever is going on and him being a douchebag the last few days, I didn't even bother looking up his contact. Maybe it was for the best. After the year ended I could cut ties without any remorse.

Once I was done with my shower I changed into comfortable clothes once again and ran down the stairs. For more than an hour I was enjoying a horror movie on TV when I heard the doorknob rattle.

"Mom! Dad!" I ran and jumped on both.

"Hey, munchkin." My dad ruffled my hair and hugged me.

"Hey, darling. How did your week go?" My mom asked. How could I explain to her something I didn't know?

"Pretty uneventful. Just hanging out around the house, organizing my room and stuff. But, enough about me. Come in, settle down, tell me about your week."

"Honey, why don't you go sit down, we need to talk about something." I looked at my mom weirdly and went to the kitchen to sit down.

"What's going on?" I looked at my parents who were fixing up dinner.

"Munchkin, you know how each year we have to move due to my business. Well, this year is gonna be different."

"We're not moving. Dad, you've said that before. How do I know you're not lying again?"

"We took this week kind of on a trial basis. You’re getting older and can handle bigger responsibilities like taking care of yourself and the house by yourself. So, it seems that we can be away for elongated periods of time and you’ll be just fine. And in any case, your uncle is here to take care of you."

"We will be living here in Beacon Hills and any business that needs to be taken care of we will just leave town for a few days. Are you okay with that?" My mother smiled. 

"Okay?! I'm beyond okay!" I jumped up from the stool and hugged my parents. "This is the best news ever!"

"That's great, honey. Now go do something while I start dinner."

When my parents told me the news that we were staying the first person that came to mind was Derek.

I had been avoiding him for such a long time and he did deserve some answers and maybe I could get some from him about what was going on in this freak show of a town. I decided to text him and told him to meet me at his house in the woods. I awaited his answer and rode my bike down the now familiar trail. And just as he had said, there he was, waiting on the front steps of the house.

"Hey, Derek," I said softly. It was hard to swallow my pride after the way I had been acting. 

"Hey, (Y/N). Are you finally ready to talk?" He said in a calm and soothing voice. Absolutely the opposite of what I was expecting. I nodded my head and sat down next to him. "So, why have you been avoiding me? Is it something I did?"

"No. I just had to."

"You had to?"

"Look, all my life I have had to pack everything up and leave behind a whole life. Every time the year ends, I need to forget about one life and start another. I have ignored so many people that have only been nice to me because I don't want to grow attached. Cause when I leave, I know I will never see them again and I'd rather be alone than have to pass through that heartache."

"So, once we started growing close you had to cut ties so you could forget about me." I nodded and he let out a sigh. "I get it. But you could've told me."

"Yeah? How? Hey, I'm gonna start to forget you now so I don't have to later. Wouldn't be too sensitive, would it?"

"No, but I would have understood." He looked at me. His eyes held kindness and understandings, things I didn’t deserve for my actions. "But why are you telling me now?"

"My parents told me that we're not leaving this time. We're here for good."

"So that means you'll stop ignoring me?"

"Yes." He smiled and gave me a hug. I hugged him back. "Now that I have given you answers, I need some in return."

"Like?"

"What the hell happened on Thursday?"

"Oh. That." He paused for a second and groaned, but I motioned him to answer me. "Of course. But what I tell you right now must stay between us, and you must give me your word that no one will know that I was the one who told you. Not Scott or Allison, not even your parents."

"Is it that important?"

"Absolutely. Look what's happening here, it's not normal nor human."

"What are you talking about, Derek?" I chuckled.

"Everything around you are not what it seems. There's just no easy way to say this."

"Derek, ballpark it."

"I'm a werewolf, an alpha. And so is Scott, Isaac, Erica, and Boyd, they're betas. Your family, including Allison, are hunters. They kill people like me and the others. That screech you heard yesterday, it came from a Kanima. A walking snake-like creature that kills people, murderers exactly, after paralyzing them with a type of venom it creates." He looked into my eyes trying to search for something. An answer, a sign, anything. It just wasn't there. "(Y/N), please. Say something."

I tried to speak up, but nothing came out. Maybe it was the shock, maybe I wasn't ready to hear this, maybe I didn't want to know that everyone around me was different. Out of this world, sort to speak.  Everything was changing and I couldn't do anything about it. I saw Stiles' jeep coming closer. Out of it came Scott, Allison, and, obviously, Stiles. I got up from the steps, ignoring their calls and Derek calling my name.

"Where are you going, (Y/N)?"

"Home." I turned on the motorcycle and tried to leave but I couldn't. I was frozen, listening to their conversation.

Derek's POV "What's happening?" Stiles asked.

"She's leaving, dimwit. Don't you have eyes?"

"Why would she leave like that?" Allison questioned and directed her sight to me. "What did you do?"

"Nothing. We were just talking."

"What exactly where you guys talking about?" Scott asked.

"Everything."

"As in." I stared at him and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, everything."

"Derek, why the hell would you do that?! It was not in your place to tell her about that." 

"Oh, like you would have told her anything. Just like you're telling Lydia. She came to me for answers, and I gave them to her."

"That is none of your business."

"I was not going to continue to lie to her. You do whatever the hell you want but I couldn't go on like that."

"Honestly, Derek. What is your problem?! She's nothing to you so I don't understand why you had to bring her into this twisted world." Allison screamed.

"You know why she has to know. I accept that it's not my place, but I knew you wouldn't say anything and, also, I didn't bring her into this. Your bloodline did. Don't pin this on me." Allison starts fuming and closing the gap between us but stops dead in her tracks when she heard the same thing all of us heard. (Y/N) falling off her bike.

"(Y/N)!!" I ran towards her and picked her up.

"Don't touch her!" Allison screamed.

"You can't tell me what to do." I bumped our shoulders and headed towards the house. "But if you wanna help out you can follow me."

Fuming, Allison followed me into the living room with the trail of puppies on her back. She helped me gently lay down (Y/N) on the couch whilst Scott found some gauze and alcohol for a scratch on her face and hopefully what would wake her.

After cleaning the wound, I held a gauze dripping with alcohol under her nose, but nothing happened.

"This is what I wanted to avoid. She seems so strong, but she is so fragile too. I wanted her to find this all out through her parents. Not some stranger she just met." Allison spoke to Scott.

"I think you underestimate the strength she has. And trust me, I am no stranger to her." I spat at her. "At least I was the only one brave enough to give her the answers she was seeking."

"Derek, honestly I could give two shits about what you think right now. It's your fault she fainted. Again, you had no fucking right."

"Look, Allison, I get it. You don't want her in this world because she's better than you. I get it." I smirked at her and she lunged at me. Scott held her back but I wanted the reaction. I was completely fuming, (Y/N) deserved better than lies. 

As she struggled, Stiles’s words brought us back from the fight. 

"Guys, she's waking up."

I directed my gaze again to (Y/N) and noticed her eyes fluttering open. "See, she's fine."

"But she wasn't."

"Well, she is now." I gritted my teeth.

(Y/N)'s POV

"Um, guys, yeah. I'm still here stop talking about me as if I were gone."

"Are you okay? How are you feeling?" Allison asked as if I had hurt myself.

"I'm fine. My body is functioning normally, my legs are moving one after the other, my lips are opening and closing, and my tongue is moving, and my arms are flailing. I'm super."

"Take it easy, (Y/N). You just found out a lot of stuff." Scott said.

"Yeah, you two are werewolves." I pointed at him and at Derek, then at Allison. "And you, along with our family, a hunter." I looked at Stiles. "And you're human, like me."

"And?" Derek asked in a harsh tone as if trying to keep up the mean façade he had. It made me angry, but the worry was evident in his eyes.

"It's fine. It's weird but fine." This time I did get on my motorcycle and started it.

"Whoa, where do you think you're going?" Stiles tried to stop me midway.

"Um, as I said before, home."

"You can't drive in this state, especially in a motorcycle. You could crash!"

"Allison, I have never in my life of driving crashed a motorcycle whereas cars, enough to start a small dealership, and some of them weren't even mine. I think I'm good." As I tried to leave, once again I was stopped. This time by Derek.

"I'll take you home."

"Um, you've done enough. I'll take her home." Allison stepped in. They got in each other's faces and I had to step in between them.

"Mom, dad. Stop. I hate when you fight." I snorted. "Sorry, but I'll take myself home."

Before any of them could answer I got on my motorcycle and sped off the same way I came through. When I got home, I was out of breath and dizzy. Everything Derek had said kept replaying in my mind over and over, like an endless loop of unimaginable words that seemed to be part of a dream. The front door of my house seemed so far, and it felt like almost half an hour had passed until I got there. Everything passed by slowly and blurry.

My father called out to me and it felt like I answered but I had no idea what I said. Maybe something in the lines of I'm tired, I'm gonna go to bed. I ascended the stairs one step at a time until I reached the top. It felt like climbing the Great Wall of China, but finally, I made it to my bedroom. Once I entered, I got the scare of my life and everything went back to normal. Derek was in my room.

"What the hell are you doing here, Derek?!" I yelled in a soft whisper.

"I wanted to see if you were really okay. You didn't seem good when you left."

"I'm fine," I said in a cold voice and started looking for my pajamas. He wasn't believing me, and neither was I. "Seriously, Derek. I am."

"You don't seem or sound fine. I heard you when you got here, you were out of breath and you took your time to get up the stairs as if it was the biggest climb of your life." It was evident that he was worried about me but there was nothing to worry about. I may still be in a bit of shock. He just needed to chill. Deep down I knew how scared I was. The world had turned into different stop frames. I could see everything pass me by inch by inch. I had time for everything. I could easily have gone to the other side of the planet and back and not more than a minute could have passed.

I went to the bathroom and changed in hopes that he would leave, even though  I didn’t want him to. He didn't. He looked around my book collection which, I may add, is quite big. My father had some people make a built-in bookcase and desk. It was probably my favorite place in the whole house, the kitchen ended second. Derek had taken one of my favorite books in his hand.

"Pride and Prejudice? Hm, never would have pictured you to read this kind of book."

"There's many things you don't know about me, sour wolf."

"Seriously, you're gonna keep calling me that? Even after you know it's true."

"That makes it more fun." I smiled weakly. "So, werewolf, huh?" He nodded. "And my family is filled with hunters." He nodded again. "And they hunt you."

"(Y/N), if this is too much for you, we can leave you out of it."

"It doesn't matter if you leave me out of it, I'll still be involved. I just don't want anything to change."

"I know. Me either." He said looking down. I walked over to him and hugged him needing some type of warmth. His arms engulfed me, and I felt relieved, completely forgetting how mad I was at him for being a dick not a few hours ago.

"It's just for the first time in my life I thought I cloud have a normal life with my family and new friends. I hoped to settle in a normal town where it's so boring, but you fall in love with the people there and never want to leave. I guess I just wanted normal."

"And I just ruined that." He sighed, his chest rising and falling against my head. "I'm sorry."

"Don't blame yourself. My parents would have brought me into that world soon enough. I think that's why they've had me working out and training for no apparent reason. They were hoping I would join the family business."

"Would you?"

"Huh?" I looked up at him.

"If they asked you to become a hunter, would you?"

"If I hadn't met Isaac, or your pack, or Scott... or you, I probably would have. But I can't be a part of something that hunts innocent creatures just because they believe the whole species is bad." He nodded but stayed quiet.

I went over to my bed in hopes he would stay but he made his way to the window. I don't know what came over me, but I called out to him. "Don't go. Stay, please."

Without another word he turned off the lights and sat next on the chair that was in the corner next to my bed. Finally, I drifted off with the possibility of words flowing from his mouth. 

Derek's POV

"I'll never leave you." I whispered to her as she closed her eyes and drifted into sleep. After some time, she started squirming and her heartbeat began to race. I sat next to her, and without waking up, she got closer and snuggled into my chest. I put an arm around her and heard her heartbeat slowly go back to normal. 

At around midnight I heard voices arguing downstairs. I didn't mean to overhear but I couldn't help it.

"You went looking for her again, didn't you, Henry?"

"Of course, I did. I'll look for her until the day I die."

"You know you'll never find her. That was the point. You told her to hide, and she did. So much that not even you can find her. I guess she didn't love you enough." She sighed. "And even if you found her, your father would use all his power to kill her."

"At least I loved her more than I'll ever love you, and that's enough for me."

 After that, a long silence. 

Then, a door slammed shut. 

Moments after I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.I tried my best to move in case they decided to check in with her, but (Y/N)’s grip on me only tightened. I had no escape other than to brace myself for whatever could happen. 

My heart started to race faster and faster as the steps became closer to the room. 

Step.

Step.

Step.

Her mother was right outside her door, probably debating waking her daughter up to wish her a good night. My breath hitched in my throat when the door handle started to softly turn; the gears in my brain turning, looking for the quickest escape. The door handle had turned completely and I prepared myself to run. But, it was let go. The footsteps receded and ended in the room next to (Y/N)’s. Once I heard her settle in bed I finally relaxed. I curled (Y/N) onto me and wrapped her tight. Something in me just wanted to protect her and let her know she’s not alone. I hadn’t felt this way in a long time and for the first time I wanted to see where it could lead.

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Tag list: @hellowinterlane​ @lokisgoddesofpower​ @mersuperwholocked-lowlife​

[cultofbeatles]

parts of pattie boyd’s book wonderful tonight that involved george that stuck out to me:

pattie didn't have any of the beatles records at first and only bought please please me since she was going to be in their film 

“on first impressions, john seemed more cynical and brash than the others, ringo the most endearing, paul was cute, and george, with velvet brown eyes and dark chestnut hair, was the best looking man i’d ever seen.”

during a lunch break pattie and george sat next to each other and were both very shy 

george asked pattie “will you marry me?” and after she laughed he said, “well, if you won't marry me, will you have dinner with me tonight?” and she turned him down.

she deadass invited george to hang out with her and her boyfriend at the time.

pattie and george are both pisces.

once reshoots for the film were happening george asked pattie about her boyfriend, she said she had dumped him, and george once again asked her for dinner. she accepted this time.

brian epstein joined them for their first date.

they sat side by side and were too scared to even hold the others hand.

george got along great with pattie’s family.

pattie liked cynthia lennon but found her difficult to make friends with. 

“she wasn't like my friends, who enjoyed a giggle and some fun: she was rather serious, and often, i thought, behaved more like john’s mother than wife.”

there was a rumor that john and pattie were having an affair and pattie worried cynthia believed it. it wasn't true.

maureen cox (ringo’s girlfriend) was another beatles girl that pattie had a hard time being friends with. but said that she was “jolly and friendly, more relaxed than cynthia.”

pattie got along best with jane asher but saw her the least.

“i felt there was definitely a north-south divide among the wives and girlfriends. and i had the definite impressions that the girls from the north (maureen and cynthia) felt they has a prior clam to the boys.” okay shade, we see you. 

(talking about going on holiday with john, cynthia, and george) “it was a good way to split the group. john and paul were the closest in some ways and immensely creative together, but they clashed if they were in each other’s pockets for too long.”

george asked pattie to cut his hair while on holiday and one of the cleaners found his hair and kept it. 

(talking about george) “he was so beautiful and so funny.”

once a “weird looking man” tried to force his way into pattie and george’s house. pattie thought he was either a salesman or a jehovahs witness. it turns out it was paul in disguise. 

george said the only place he got peace was in the bathroom of his hotel suite.

pattie got a lot of letters saying that if she didn't leave george there would be a curse put on her.

 pattie’s cleaner was a male ballet dancer and “a terrific duster.”

pattie would count the days till george came back. once he jumped into the bed early in the morning to wake her up. 

those two would deadass not lock their doors and were surprised that clothes were going missing...what is with older generations and not locking their doors i -

george would be in the studio from 11 am - 11 pm. sometimes midnight. 

george’s mom loved when john would visit and would always ask him for an “upper.”

when john lennon is your drug dealer.

pattie wasn't a good cook but was optimistic.

“i loved listening to him (play guitar), loved the sound of the guitar in the house. sometimes i would start to talk and he'd be so deep in thought about the lyrics or the melody he was writing that he wouldn't answer. we’d be the same room but he wasn't really with me: he was in his head.”

pattie developed a kidney disorder.

(talking about the beatles dynamic) “in many aspects they were still children. they had few real friends apart from each other, and when they were asked questions they could answer as one - they were so much on each other’s wavelength. if one went to a gallery opening, they all went; if one bought a new car or new house, they all did. if one seemed in danger of taking himself too seriously, the others knocked it out of him.”

one evening george stopped the car and said, “let’s get married. i'll speak to brian.” they went to brian’s house, george went inside, and when he came back in the car he said, “brian says it’s okay. will you marry me? we can get married in january.”

briannnnnnn, is it my turn to get married yet pleaseeeee

pattie invited her absent father to their wedding but he did not come.

at the train station everyone left cynthia behind as she was carrying the suitcases and john was carrying nothing. peter brown had to go back and get her. 

pattie’s quote from the lsd in the coffee moment is hilarious to me. “you've just had lsd. it was in the coffee.” john lennon: “how dare you fucking do this to us?”

pattie and george didn't go to brian’s funeral in liverpool but george sent one single sunflower.

pattie stopped modeling because george didnt like it. and she felt like she lost a part of herself.

maureen was afraid of flies.

during the India trip, mia farrow told john that maharishi was inappropriate with her and john wanted everyone leave after that.

after India george and pattie’s relationship changed.

(talking about george) “some days he would be all right, but on others he seemed withdrawn and depressed. this was new: he had never been depressed before, but there was nothing i could do. it wasn't about me, but i found that my moods started to mirror his...so bad indeed, that at times i felt almost suicidal. i don't think i was ever in any real danger of killing myself, but i got as far as working out how i would do it: i would put on a diaphanous ossie clark dress and jump off beachy head.”

george became more obvious about his cheating. it hurt pattie.

george was gaslighting her.

cilla black was staying at george and pattie’s house and was uncomfortably close to george so pattie left. six days latter george called to tell her the girl was gone and she could come home.

“..but my ego was too fragile and i couldn't see it as anything other than betrayal. i felt unloved and miserable.”

“jane asher came home unexpectedly from new york and found another woman in the house, an american girl - and did what i should probably have done with george...”

george would start to talk about his feelings about paul or john but would stop bc he never wanted to admit that he felt left out. 

“we had once been so close, so honest and open with each other. now a distance had developed between us..”

(about yoko contributing to the beatles break up) “the four had never allowed anyone into the recording studios with them, but yoko not only sat by john throughout every session, he consulted her about the music they were making, which upset paul.”

during the let it be sessions there was a time with george and paul got in a fist fight and george left.

the same day john told George he was leaving the beatles, george’s mom told him she was ill and in critical condition.

i love that she vibe checked george. “he was bringing home bad vibes.”

george continued cheating and they continued arguing.

“my diary is full of entries about my unhappiness and the disintegration of our relationship.”

john came to visit george and pattie’s new mansion and said that it was so dark he didn't know how they could live in it, and george recommended that he took of his sunglasses.

eric clapton being a piece of shit and saying “if you won't be with me pattie i will become addicted to heroin.”

pattie said the only thing she had left was cooking and george took that away.

the couple was suppose to go on holiday together but george cancelled last minute bc he didn't want to go with her. he ended up going to spain.

“when i challenged him, he denied it and tried once again to make me feel as though i was paranoid.”

i'm not even...the whole fucking story of the george and maureen affair PISSES ME OFF more than i can describe. maybe i’ll make a whole other post but omfg i'm fuming. fuck them bothhhh. they deserve no rights.

george harrison, mere days before their wedding anniversary: “let’s get a divorce this year.” what an amazing new years resolution jerk.

ringo offered pattie a job.

when george told ringo about the affair pattie was so mad she dyed her hair red. 

george loved pattie’s little brother and was his role model but he wouldn't come to the man’s wedding even though he was invited.

the night pattie told george she was leaving him george came to bed in sadness and said, “don't go.”

“i'm going.”

george invited pattie to dhani’s eighteenth birthday party bc she “had to be there. she was family.”

george had become more of an older brother to her now.

pattie had learned about john’s death from eric clapton and immediately went to the beatles office in london to hang out with everyone there.

(after finding out about george’s death) “i couldn't bare the thought of a world without george. when i left him for eric, he had said that if things didn't work out, ever, i could always come to him and he would look after me. it was such a selfless, loving, generous thing to say and it had always been tucked away at the back of my mind. now that sense of security had gone.”

the last time they saw each other was when george called saying he wanted to visit her new cottage and see her.

pattie didn't go to his funeral nor did she go to the memorial concert that took place a year later. but she spent that day high on the mountains thinking of george. “i was happy to mourn him alone and in my own way.”

she would have dreams of george after his death. “oh george, it’s so wonderful that you are alive after all, this is so fabulous; i knew they had all made a mistake.”

and then she’d wake up.

[asterekmess]

honestly, my fury at the lack of werewolf culture/history/worldbuilding is worthy of its own post. Let me know if by some ungodly chance, you actually wanna hear my thoughts on it // Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

ohmygod yes, pls, enable me.

SO.

I think I mentioned b4 that Teen Wolf hates werewolves.

This is a show about werewolves like, yeah, sure, they do other plots and stuff. But the main character is a werewolf. The vast majority of the cast are werewolves (at least in the first half of the show). But think about it. What do we actually know about werewolves? They uhh, they shift on the full moon. But like, what about the full moon? Cus’ Scott gets handcuffed to a radiator and he doesn’t shift and break out until the moon comes out from behind the clouds and he screams like it’s excruciatingly painful for him. But then Derek and his Betas are underground during their full moon, and they shift like it’s all fine and dandy (they’re furious, but there’s no pain) and it doesn’t matter whether they can see the moon or not. They, uhh, they’re allergic to wolfsbane/it’s poisonous to them (btw it’s poisonous to literally everyone, just the scent of it is enough to cause seizures and hallucinations in humans. It’s a whole other frustration that they won’t make up their fucking minds abt it. It’s one thing to say that this is some parallel universe where wolfsbane doesn’t poison humans (bc lydia makes them hallucinate with the punch but injesting that much wolfsbane should kill you, and Stiles straight pulls a plant out of the ground; should’ve caused itching, burning, a cough, nausea, fever, headache and More hallucinations) and yet Jackson has to see a doctor and gets told he’s got Aconite Poisoning. So WHAT IS THE TRUTH?) but apparently not enough for Derek not to be able to plant a wolfsbane plant and massive cord of roots (which he would’ve had to tie together himself) in a revenge spiral around Laura’s body. But just being around it causes wolves to lose control. But also there’s supposed to be different strains that do different things? And also sometimes you burn the wolfsbane and it becomes the cure, or you have to burn it out of them or you just cut it out of them? Make UP Your MIND or at least ACKNOWLEDGE that different strains do different things. They get stronger on a full moon. But does that mean they get infinitely stronger with every full moon they experience? Does that mean they get weaker during new moons? They’re stronger in packs. Okay, but they never establish what the fuck a pack is. Is it an agreement? Is it a magical bond? Scott just sort of says people are in his pack. Does that mean they are? Do the humans he knows make him stronger? Just how strong is this bond? Derek makes a claim that “You have your own pack now” so is that a joke, was he mocking scott? Or is he saying that there’s no need for an Alpha and just being a beta with some friends counts as a pack? Apparently they have some kind of...animal magnetism or mind control? Derek uses a funny voice and a guy wakes up from a near coma to look at him with seemingly no control. Peter can force Scott to shift up. Derek forces Isaac to shift down. Derek has an insane amount of control over dogs and makes one lose its fucking mind from like a hundred feet away? Scott makes one calm down, but derek sends attack dogs running with their tails between their legs. Is it actual control or is it just a persuasion? Is it just intimidation? I haven’t even gotten to culture. You’re telling me that we get an entire episode of Allison discovering the entire story behind the Argent clan’s origins as werewolf hunters, why they started, how her name means Silver and apparently that’s where the entire myth of silver hurting werewolves comes from, but we don’t get to know anything about the first werewolves? Where they come from? If they’re a form of evolution or just straight magic or if it’s a curse or a gift from the gods? There’s an entire hidden werewolf population with packs all over the world, but somehow there’s literally no wolf culture? No moon worship? No specific terminology (Alpha, Beta, and Omega are terms used by a really fucking stupid biologist who studied frantic wolves in captivity and cast aspersions on the entire species. He’s been disproven a Thousand Times. NONE of that Alpha, Beta, Omega shit is right. Packs aren’t Hierarchies of Dominance. They’re families. They’re led by two wolves, yes, an “alpha pair” that’s literally JUST THE PARENTS. THE ‘BETAS’ ARE THEIR KIDS. This terminology makes sense if used by HUNTERS who consider werewolves to be mindless dumb animals. WHY THE FUCK would werewolves use it to DESCRIBE THEMSELVES?) besides the absolute minimum of ‘I caught a scent?’ Are you serious? Then there’s werewolf ages. Oh my god that was so fucking lazy. Saying that werewolves don’t age like humans, but that Cora is seventeen “by human standards” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I’ve seen theories that go so many different ways. The idea that Werewolves live really long lives because of the superhealing. The idea that they live really short lives because their healing just burns through their body really quickly. The idea that their lifespan is directly correlated to the amount of damage they take because they can only heal so much, so wolves who get hurt a lot age faster than wolves who don’t. There’s NO explanation! You’d think it might be an interesting point for Scott to find out that he’s gonna live to fucking 200 years old. (How old is Satomi again?) That sounds like something a Teenager would be daunted by. We see them make fun of Stiles a few times because he believes werewolf myths about silver, and then because he believes Peter when Peter tells him he lives in a series of underground caves. But like...why not? THESE ARE WEREWOLVES why did you just make them humans with extra facial hair? Where are the traditional mating rituals (or even the concept of a mate/life partner, can you imagine how interesting that would’ve been? If Scott found out Allison was his mate? Or if he suddenly had all these weird urges around her, like rubbing their foreheads together or cuddling her way too much or wanting to bring her food? That would’ve been fascinating and hilarious as subplots for their romance!) where are the full moon runs or pack get-togethers? Where are the aversions to perfumes or cologne? Where are literally any animal behaviors besides AGGRESSION? Where is the den-making? Can werewolves eat fast food or does the grease bug them? Talia was a famous Alpha bc she could full shift. Does anyone know why she could do that? “Evolution” is a bullshit answer, let’s be real. It’s shitty writing and it put Derek through so much more than he deserved. THEY ACCIDENTALLY ESTABLISHED that ALL HALES can full-shift! IT’s NOT EVOLUTION. It’s BIRTHRIGHT. Talia fullshifted. Peter full-shifted (though his was distorted into the monster thingy. That wasn’t anything like Deucalion’s shift. It was a FULL SHIFT) Laura could full shift bc she did it after she died. No other werewolves on the show turned into full wolves after death, even if they died with wolfsbane in their system? MALIA could full-shift into a coyote. LITERALLY EVERY HALE except Cora and that’s bc she got booted back to South America COuld FULL SHIFT (and it never happened after they lost all of their wolf powers, that coud’ve been an interesting plot if they didn’t FUCK IT UP.) But still there’s no explanation, or even just acknowledgement? You don’t have to spell it out for us, but at least SAY “Hey, so the Hale family is really powerful and all of us can full-shift. Not sure why, but it’s neat.) I’m still stuck on rituals. Routines. Werewolf mores. Social cues. Are there certain smells they’re supposed to ignore? Is it polite to pretend you don’t hear someone coming up to your house until they knock? Do they have rules about waiting until the Alpha eats before they start eating (much like how lots of traditional households wait for the father to dig in, or whoever is head of household)? Is it tradition to homeschool werewolves for the first few years until they learn control? Are there seriously no rules about biting humans? You don’t have to talk to their parents or have a specific conversation with them? And if werewolves are so dominance/hierarchy based, then you’re telling me there’s no “second-in-command” or respectful greetings that are supposed to be used for an Alpha? There’s absolutely no form of werewolf government or ancient laws or anything except a big spiral that is universally recognized as a sign you’re gonna kill people? What was the wolfsbane around Laura’s body for? Why make the spiral out of that instead of just drawing in the dirt or something? We make a lot of jokes about Derek being bad with his words, but so is Peter and so is Cora. And they’re the only born wolves we interact with (except Satomi who ALSO isn’t a chatterbox) What if that’s not just because they’re all traumatized and cranky? What if they’re just speaking on a different level? Scents and body language are integral to wolf interaction. Like how we say that Peter has that conversation with Derek’s eyebrows? What if Derek’s so fucking pissed all the time because he hates talking to Scott because SCott ISN”T LISTENING to his body language and scent and chemosignals? He tells Scott to use all his senses, and Scott does it fucking once to say that Peter felt “Angry” and never again. What if Derek is Talking PLENTY (with his body and movements and reactions) but Scott just isn’t paying attention? Isaac seems to understand Derek just fine. Erica and Boyd never complain that Derek is lying to them or ‘keeping something’ from them? What if the reason Scott always thinks Derek’s hiding something is because he isn’t reading the rest of Derek’s conversation and he assumes that the empty feeling is Derek lying. Even STILES seems to understand Derek. He’s human, but he goes totally wolfy. He already uses body language a lot and while he gets mad at Derek he never has to ask what the fuck derek is saying or what he’s holding back. I digress. I wanna know why no other packs came to help Derek and Laura after their family died. I wanna know why Emissaries and Druids are so incredibly important to the supernatural/werewolf world but Derek barely knew they existed (Especially when it’s established that he know tons of lore about other species.) and even though every single pack should have an emissary, they never handle who is the emissary for Derek’s pack or for Scott’s pack (Once again, is an emissary bound to their pack somehow or is it just an agreement?). I wanna know why Derek knew Satomi and trusted her but for some reason never felt like he could ask her for help? Centuries of hiding and living amongst humans with almost no wolf behavior to their name, but none of these packs interact? There’s Druid Vets and Hunter cops and Emissary counselors. But no werewolf doctors? No werewolf teachers? Absolutely no werewolf society? If Derek was worried about Paige not accepting that he was a werewolf unless she became one, what does that say about his experience with humans? He says “there were people in my family that were perfectly ordinary in that house” who died in the fire. But wouldn’t he talk to a human pack member about his worries, if he had one? Or even a bitten pack member? He admits he doesn’t know how to train a Bitten wolf. He’s never been called out by a human pack member for using phrases like ‘caught a scent’ or for reacting to things he shouldn’t. Does this mean Derek’s family was entirely werewolves? No humans in the know? No bitten wolves? He has a huge thing about keeping the secret and never letting anyone in on it unless they get dragged into it. Did Derek’s pack have some kind of prejudice against humans? Was Derek raised to believe humans were weak or cowardly or something, that he thought this beautiful girl would automatically hate him and expose him if she were to discover the supernatural without being forced into silence by self-preservation.

Lots of times, it’s easy to forget in this fandom that so much is missing, because we’ve been filling in the gaps for so long that some stuff is practically canon. It’s generally assumed that the Hales were homeschooled before high school. It’s generally assumed that there’s some kind of bond that marks people as pack. We instinctively add in mentions of Scent and the use of the shift (growling, claws, a hint of fang, flashing eyes) as part of the casual communication between characters. We add in scent-marking and territory boundaries and specific roles in the pack. We do all of that and never think twice because it’s already in all the fic. But we did that. The show gave us nothing. It spent an entire season talking about the nogitsune and the oni and how they’re summoned and what kitsune fox tails are for, but we never got to find out why wolves can do the pain-drain (or even if it dissipates the pain or just transfers it to the wolf doing the draining) or if Derek Hale EVEN HAS A DAD.

[wish-spinner]

For the FE ask game, what about 10, 14, 20 and 28?

okay wow this got stupid long but!!!!!!

10) A character you find underrated?

there are LOTS of characters i feel dont get enough attention so im just gonna list a few ghfdgh:

- edain (shes so nice and shes the turbomom and she gets NO attention in return)

- oifey (hes so good im sorry hes not as sexy as shannan)

- igrene (im fake and havent played fe6 but shes got such a good sad story and ppl only seem to care abt her for Boob and its sad)

- tauroneo (lowkey incredibly interesting. what if duessel was a pathetic divorced piece of shit dad)

- muarim (THE FANDOM SLEEPS ON HIM SO HARD. I ADORE THIS MAN LIKE LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM. his battle convos in por where hes actually fucking horrified abt mist and rolf being deployed. get em)

- rhys ([137594765 pages of in-depth character analysis] hes gay and sad lol)

- rolf (When I Write My Rolf Essay. Then You Will See)

- laurent (this goes for all the awakening kids but i like seeing how their traits + differences from their parents are related to the situation theyve been growing up in and i think laurents more concerned responsible approach to the Miriel Stuff rlly reflects that. also desert angst has had me fucked up since middle school and i think he deserves more attention).

also all the goldoans but u couldve guessed that already!

14) Something you really don't like about this series?

pretty consistently piss-poor treatment of major female characters as like... setpieces for manpain is. pretty bad tbh. like?? characters like deirdre and ninian and emmeryn and rinea and celica (in sov especially) deserve SO much more autonomy and attention outside of how sad some blue haired guy was abt them dying. obv some are better than others but ive rlly got my fingers crossed for fe4 remake that gives deirdre more,,,, just More. she needs development. ALSO [SHAKES KUSAKIHARA] MAKE YOUR FEMALE COSTUME DESIGNS NOT GROSS CHALLENGE. NOBODY SHOULD RIDE A HORSE WITH THEIR ASS HANGING OUT

20) Least favorite (canon) pairing?

WOW okay there are..... definitely a lot of ships i Do not like. i think a lot of the possible ships in some games are just plain BAD like. nobody should be dating nowi or donnel or dew or anyone who is very clearly like. a kid? ADDITIONALLY student x faculty member in 3h will always feel Bad to me. but in terms of like.... ones that are canon/pseudo-canon?? a lot of them are kinda boring + not my fav, like chrom/sumia or alm/celica or lewyn/erinys but like. the only game that has outright Rancid canonesque ships is rd imo. micaiah/sothe and jill/haar are actually viscerally awful. boyd/mist is Not that bad but it still feels,,, iffy. i did actually make a tellius ship tiermaker so if anyones curious i can do it and post it???

28) Because this fandom doesn't see enough discourse [citation needed], post a spicy hot take here🔥🔥

ik lots of ppl feel this way but the intensification of focus on the avatar characters in fe games is such a HUGE detriment to depth of story and character development. theres such a need to please and appease the player via the avatars interactions and influence over other characters and it feels so cheap and unrealistic. why would u being a good teacher make ashe want to stay loyal to the institution that killed his brother and dad, for instance?? it wouldnt but itd be inconvenient if for the player if he decided to switch sides. remember in por when shinon and gatrie left bc they decided they just Did Not Fucking Like the thought of working under ike. that was good. that was great. the goal of character writing is to make characters feel like people with motivations and ideals and the way fe games are more and more revolving around You is taking away from it imo

[sparkwhorunswithwolves]

Teen Wolf and the issue of the hero saves the day

I've got the same(ish) submission for the 3rd time now, so I'm making my own post. Also, ableist terms. Please.

I've said this before, a lot, but just because Scott is the main character, doesn't mean he does better or more than everyone else, or that everyone else's character arcs are about/because of him.

Or at least it should be, but because of that pesky protagonist issue, most character development is kept off screen unless it directly affects Scott.

Was Derek a shitty person? Absolutely, I don't think we have to argue that canon-wise. Did he get a lot of positive character development, and stopped doing those shitty things? Also, absolutely.

But why? Teen Wolf is Scott's story, so you'd assume that he was responsible for that. Invalidate a few teens' trauma, violate Derek, and just be a general nuisance, and congratulations, you have one (1) fully redeemed werewolf. /sarcasm

It has nothing to do with Boyd and Erica leaving and having to reevaluate his alpha-ness while looking for them for 3 (4?) months, or with actually working with Isaac, Peter and Stiles for that, or getting Cora back while loosing Erica and Boyd, or working with Chris, Braeden, etc. /more sarcasm

All of this is canon, but because we only see Scott berating Derek for everything (which goes from don't kill anyone to let me date the people who want me dead fuck you) Scott is the one who gets credit for everything.

And fandom pushes that even further, saying that Derek needed only Scott to be forced to become a better person. Or a whole person apparently, which what?

Though I imagine that if Teen Wolf did actually use Scott as everyone's morality chain we'd then fight about whether or not Scott only exists to fix people through the Power of Abuse Compassion.

That's why so many redemption stories on Teen Wolf just don't work; the show thinks that having Scott forgive people redeemed them, and that everyone who goes against him deserves to be used or tortured.

Let's take Peter for example. (I'm working under the assumption that the deadpool is a mess and that thoughts don't equal actions so it's mostly just Kate) His redemption never revolved around Scott, it's about his family and Lydia. On that aspect, it works.

He helps Derek and Cora, he tries to have some kind of relationship with Malia, Lydia (rightfully) hates him, but they're working on it. As of 3b, he might not be one of the good guys, but he's definitely not a villain anymore.

And then s4, he gets blamed for the deadpool (which, seriously, if ranting about wanting someone dead makes you guilty, Scott has just as much blood on his hands), I still can't see him working with Kate as anything but Scott being useless when it comes to saving Derek, and wanting the alpha spark to kill Kate permanently or heal Derek.

His worst crime is trying to kill Scott. So naturally he deserves to be tortured if not killed at Eichen. /sarcasm

Deucalion and Co killed a few dozen people off screen, kidnapped 3 teens for months, killed 2 of them, but he gets kicked out of town with a slap on the wrist because he can totally do better now. (again, seriously what was that about? Also /sarcasm ) Then he goads Theo into killing a few more teens but it's totally cool, he's working with Scott now. /sarcasm (While everyone Deuc really hurt is conveniently absent or, you know, dead.)

Same with—okay Gerard doesn't get a redemption arc, but the point is still that Scott and Chris decide to cure him (because, again, pain and suffering is a totally humane punishment as long as no one's killing anyone /sarcasm) because now he's useful again; Lydia has no personal feelings about him, the Hale pack is conveniently not there or dead, there's zero evidence that so much as hints that Stiles knows.

It's Scott doesn't need a redemption arc for wanting/trying/failing to kill Stiles, Jackson, Derek, for constantly lying to Allison, and they shouldn't have any issues with him because Werewolves, while turning around and blaming Liam for killing him (because it's only Werewolves if it benefits Scott /sarcasm) and Stiles for idk, seeing Scott's distrust of him and returning the favor I guess (because not wanting to talk about nearly being killed is only acceptable if it's Scott /sarcasm)

Scott on himself did very little, everyone else did just as much if not more, to actually stop the villains/help people. Which isn't a bad thing. Teamwork™ and all that. But celebrating Scott for whatever he helped with, more often than not also means accepting that at least one of the horrible people that need Scott to not just kill half the town (/sarcasm) also had a hand in it, willingly or not.

Which brings us, not really, nicely back around to the double standards. In both fanon and canon.

A lot of my issues with Liam and Scott's handling of that, mirrors Derek's and Peter's behavior perfectly. And things we rightfully got either mad at because you can't just fucking kidnap/stalk/abuse people, or didn't care about because Werewolves™, now have the exact opposite reaction. Scott is just overwhelmed and is Trying His Best, Scott has just been killed by Liam of course he doesn't want him near him.

Of course Scott not wanting to deal with the supernatural and his obsession with having a normal life is a normal trauma response (/not actually sarcasm), but Stiles' obsession with the supernatural is annoying and reckless. /sarcasm

Both are Valid just as much as they're reckless and dangerous.

No matter what Scott does, he is always Right and should not be questioned except for when he has a convenient excuse for why he fucked up and should not be held accountable; while everyone else gets demonized for the same things, while Scott gets the I made them not as much of a jerk as they could have been award.

[tw-anchor]

32. The Tragedy of Derek and Paige

Anchor

Stiles Stilinski x Original Character

Episode: 3x08; Visionary

Word Count: 3,809

Warning(s): Mature language, sad stories, grief

Author’s Note: I will never stop saying that Derek deserved better. I hope you enjoy the chapter. Make sure to reblog, like, and tell me what you think!

Masterlist in Pinned Post!

Olivia hadn't been home in two days. Fortunately, Natalie didn't ask any questions about her sudden desire to sleep over at Derek's house, and Lydia also covered for her when she did start to get suspicious. She was glad that she could stay with Cora, Isaac, and even Peter while mourning Boyd. She and Cora supported each other through their loss of a packmate and friend, while Peter, surprisingly, took care of them.

Honestly, Olivia wasn't doing so great in the aftermath of Boyd's death. With Erica's death, it didn't affect her as much—she had a suspicion is was because Erica and Boyd had left Derek's pack at that point, and after Erica died, Boyd joined the pack again which led to a better connection. But's Boyd's death really hurt. Losing a pack member really did feel like losing a part of yourself, and the added guilt about helping with the plan that eventually was a part of Boyd's death didn't add any relief.

After all that Boyd had gone through, he deserved way better than what he got.

But grief wasn't the only thing going on in her mind. Olivia was the anchor of the pack and that meant that she had to live up to the name. Her mind was constantly distracted, bouncing back in forth from Isaac's mind, to Cora, and then all the way to Derek, who was grieving by himself in the distillery just outside of town. They weren't in danger of turning because of their sadness but she was able to help anyway, sending out calming vibes through the tethers that connected them to her.

Currently, Isaac was the hardest to calm down. Due to his upbringing, he was more emotional than Derek or Cora were and he had been friends with Boyd since elementary school. She kept close to him, wanting to help him however she could, and after a night full of restlessness, he was finally napping on the couch, his feet laid in her lap.

"...Peter brought Derek to a cellar in the woods," Cora was finishing up the story of when Peter and Derek had to hide from the Argent hunters years ago. "They were there for two days, waiting, hiding. That's what we're taught to do when the hunters find us—hide and heal."

"Okay, so is two days standard then, or are we thinking Derek's on, like, some extended getaway?" Stiles asked Cora from his seat next to Olivia on the couch.

Despite his impatience about Derek and his leave of absence, having Stiles at the loft helped Olivia more than he could know. It was like he was her anchor. He gave her strength to stay strong for the pack.

Cora turned away from the rain-splattered window and narrowed her eyes at him. "Why do you care?"

"Why do I care?" Stiles repeated sarcastically. "Let's see...because over the last few weeks, my best friend tried to kill himself, my girlfriend has been going crazy trying to keep all the werewolves calm, Scott's boss nearly got ritually sacrificed, Boyd was killed by the alphas...I—do you want me to keep going?" he raised an eyebrow at her. "'Cause I can, all right? For, like, an hour—"

"All right, Stiles," Olivia murmured, resting her head on his shoulder.

"You think Derek can do anything about that?" Cora asked grumpily.

"Well, since he's the one everyone seems to be after, it's more like he should do something about it, yeah."

Olivia wished Stiles would give Derek some slack. Yeah, Derek needed to step up and help out, but he was also going through something horrible. He had just lost two betas, one which he killed with his own claws—which wasn't his fault, but Derek wouldn't see it that way—and the alpha pack was also trying to kill him. That was more than the average person could take. Maybe Stiles wasn't very sympathetic because he couldn't feel what Derek was going through, but Olivia could. And if she was going through what Derek was at the moment, she wouldn't be able to get out of bed each day.

"I don't know," Cora mused, walking over to the table full of books. "There's something different about him now. He wasn't like this when I knew him."

That's because you skipped out and made everyone think you were dead, Olivia remarked mentally. And Derek shouldered the guilt of the Hale House fire—even though Kate Argent raped and manipulated him into giving out the house's whereabouts and members of the pack—taking care of himself, visiting Olivia every few weeks with Laura, taking care of Peter's medical care, Laura's death, and Peter's time as a crazy alpha—not to mention everything that went on before the fire, including what happened with Paige.

"What was he like?" Stiles asked.

The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs caught their attention. Peter slowly descended from the second floor and answered, "A lot like Scott, actually," he walked over to stand by Cora as he elaborated. "A lot like most teenagers—unbearably romantic, profoundly narcissistic, tolerable really onto to other teenagers."

"So what happened?" Stiles looked at Peter expectantly. "What changed him?"

"Well, the same thing that changes a lot of young men," Peter answered. "A girl."

Stiles scoffed. "You're telling me some girl broke his little heart?" he asked in disbelief. "That's why Derek is the way he is?"

"She wasn't just any girl," Olivia gently picked up Isaac's feet and got up, laying them back down on the couch. She wandered over to her father and cousin, Stiles following shortly after.

"Mm," Peter nodded in agreement before addressing her and Cora, "Do you remember Derek before he was an alpha and had blue eyes?" Olivia nodded; it had only been half a year since Derek became an alpha. Peter turned to Stiles now. "Do you know why some wolves have blue eyes?"

Stiles shrugged, shaking his head. "I just always thought it was, like, a genetic thing."

"If you want to know what changed Derek, you need to know what changed the color of his eyes," Peter declared. "You know the story, don't you, pumpkin?"

"Some of it," Olivia twisted her lips.

"I'll fill in in some places."

"Okay," Olivia inhaled deeply and started recalling everything that Derek had told her from that part of his life.

Derek was a sophomore when he met Paige Krasikeva. He was popular, one of the younger members of the varsity basketball team whilst being one of the stars. He was different back then. Derek had a charming personality and he used to be one to tell jokes and make friends with everyone.

One day, while Derek was missing around with his friends in the hallway with a basketball, they disturbed Paige's cello practice. According to Derek, Paige was sassy and quick-witted despite her shy nature and when she stormed over to confront them, Derek was immediately intrigued. He showed off with the basketball, doing some tricks he had picked up on the court, and when Paige was unimpressed, Derek gave her an offer: if she could get the basketball away from him, he'd bring the ball and his friends elsewhere.

Paige took the dare, but was unable to get the basketball away from her. He happened to show off even more in the process. His cockiness unimpressed Paige and she ended up walking away. Still intrigued by her, he followed her back to the music room and apologized. She brushed him off, but it didn't discourage him; he ended up asking her name. After a little tack, in which Derek had to play a triangle for whatever reason, Paige ended up sharing her name with Derek.

"Okay, so if Derek was a sophomore back then, how old was he?" Stiles asked when she came to a natural pause in the story. He pointed at Peter and added, "How old were you? How old are you now?"

"Not as young as we could have been, but not as old as you might think," Peter answered; Olivia's lips twitched as she rolled her eyes.

"Okay, that was frustratingly vague," Stiles sighed, exasperated, and turned to where Olivia and Cora were sitting. "I know Livvy's sixteen. How old are you?"

"I'm seventeen."

"See, that's an answer," Stiles pointed at Cora. "That's how we answer people."

Cora burst his bubble, hiding her smirk. "Well, seventeen in how you'd measure in years."

"Are you serious?!"

"They're messing with you," Olivia told him with an amused smile. "Peter's thirty-five, Cora's seventeen, and Derek's twenty-five. He was sixteen when he was a sophomore."

"Okay, I take back my previous statement," Stiles gave her a grateful look as he threw his arm over her shoulders. "That is how we answer someone."

"Says the king of sarcasm," she told him with a light laugh.

"Don't bring me into this," Stiles nudged her head with his own. "Okay, so, what happened to Derek and the cello girl?"

"Her name was Paige."

"Right," Stiles stated after Olivia corrected him. "What happened with Derek and Paige?"

"What do you think happened?" Peter raised his eyebrows at Stiles. "They were teenagers. One minute, it's 'I hate you, don't talk to me,' and then the next minute, it's frantic groping in any dark corner they could manage to find themselves alone for five minutes."

Olivia and Stiles glanced at one another; they knew what that was like.

Peter continued, narrowing his eyes at Stiles. He may not be overly protective of his daughter but he didn't want to know what she and her hormonal little boyfriend were getting up to in their private time. "Their favorite dark corner was an abandoned distillery outside of Beacon Hills."

Olivia turned away from Stiles to give her a father a questioning look. Why on earth would he know Derek and Paige's make-out spot?

"All right, hold up," Stiles interjected, thinking along the same lines as Olivia. "How do you know all this? You just said that they were alone."

Peter leaned forward at his seat next on the couch, bracing his elbows on his knees. "Back then, I wasn't just Derek's uncle. I was his best friend, his closest confidante. That's how I know."

Peter filled in some of the blanks where Olivia hadn't known the details. Mostly, she didn't know about these because Derek either forgot or he didn't know what was going on behind the scenes.

One day, while Derek and Paige were having alone time in the distillery—the same distillery where Derek was hiding now—they had to leave because Derek caught the scent of some unknown werewolves. Peter explained that it wasn't just any random werewolves, but they happened to be three different packs—Ennis' pack, Kali's pack, and Deucalion's pack—along with the adults in the Hale pack. They had gathered together to discuss one of the werewolves in Ennis' pack who was murdered by the Argents.

The three packs argued with each other, mostly on Kali's side—which didn't surprise Olivia—until Laura spoke up about working together. Deucalion sided with the Hale pack—apparently he was a sort of peace keeper back in the day—especially when Talia Hale, the Hale pack's alpha and Derek's mother, stepped in. The four alphas discussed what they were going to do about the Argents, and Ennis insisted on war. He declared it with a swirl—the mark for vengeance.

"Our mark for vendetta," Peter, who had walked over to the steamed-over window, drew the swirl, much like he had down when he was an alpha.

"Man, you guys really take that revenge thing to, like, a whole new level, don't you?" Stiles commented, folding his fingers together while he watched Peter skeptically.

"It's not just revenge," Cora told him firmly. "Losing a member of your pack isn't like losing family. It's like you lose a limb."

Stiles looked over at Olivia for confirmation and visibly softened when she nodded in agreement with Cora. He unfolded his hands and took one of hers, squeezing it tightly. It was a silent apology, one that Olivia instantly forgive. How was he to know what it was like? He wasn't a werewolf or, in her case, an anchor.

"They wouldn't even let Ennis see the body," Peter informed them. "Some deputy had to escort him out of the hospital."

"I don't get it," Cora shook her head. "What does this have to do with Derek?"

"Everything," Peter turned away from the window and walked back over to them. "It's never just a single moment. It's a confluence of events. Personally, I looked at Ennis' circumstances and I saw a profound loss. Derek saw something different. He saw opportunity."

Olivia bit the inside of her cheek. Peter wasn't just telling Derek's story now, he was elaborating. A lot. Derek had told her himself that it was Peter who gave him the idea to have Paige take the bite, not him. Peter was lying, manipulating himself into someone better than he was.

"Opportunity?" Stiles wondered. "To do what?"

"To always be with her," Peter told him. "The thing was, he had this constant fear. He was obsessing over it. Thinking about it all night, all day, always on his mind."

Although Peter gave Stiles and Cora his version of the story, Olivia knew better. Derek had told her how Peter had shown up to his school and spoke to him about Paige. Peter told him that Paige would run away from him if she found out lycanthropy and manipulated him into turning her so they could be together forever.

"I kept telling him not to do it," Peter said passionately; Olivia looked over at Stiles and Cora, hoping that they weren't falling for his shit. Luckily for her, she had a smart—and hot—boyfriend, who glanced at her and rolled his eyes, mocking Peter behind his back. "Every day the more he thought about it, the more convinced he became."

Having dramatically turned away from them, Peter faced them again. "You know teenagers," he acted like he was sad. "I bet he even blames me. He's probably convinced himself the whole thing was my idea."

Again, Peter gave his side of the story. He left out the fact that he had gone to Derek's basketball practice and told him about the werewolf who died in Ennis' pack. He spoke about the opportunity Derek had, where Ennis could turn Paige and she be in his pack.

After that, Peter moved on. He shared the story of how he, Laura, and Talia went to the animal clinic to meet up with Dr. Deaton, Deucalion, and his second-in-command. They spoke about Ennis and his frowned-upon decision to wage war against the Argent hunters. Deucalion wanted to extend a treaty of peace, but Talia and Dr. Deaton warned against it, citing that the Argents had a matriarchal chain in command and that Gerard Argent was a psychopath. Deucalion didn't listen to them, and instead set up a meeting between his pack and the Argents.

"Hold on," Stiles interrupted. "What's an emissary?"

"They go back to when werewolves just started shifting," Olivia explained. "It was thought that druids knew how to shapeshift and could help the werewolves turn back to their human form. They give the alpha advice, knowledge, and keep packs connected to their humanity."

"They're a secret in the pack, though," Cora added. "Sometimes only the alpha knows who the emissary is. We had no idea about Deaton."

"Or his sister, Morrell," Peter tacked on.

"She's an emissary, too?" Stiles raised his voice, totally shocked about Morrell. Olivia, herself, was shocked; she knew about Morrell being Deaton's sister, but she hadn't know that she was an emissary.

Peter nodded. "For the alpha pack."

Olivia's eyes widened in surprise while Stiles' voice became even louder. "Our guidance counselor?" he burst out; Olivia rubbed his back to bring him some comfort; the poor guy had spent an hour a week with Ms. Morrell since he started high school and he was bound to be betrayed. "Why the hell don't you people tell me any of this stuff, huh? I shared some really intimate details with her."

"And did she give you good advice?" Cora prompted, looking unimpressed with his outburst.

Stiles paused. "Actually, yeah."

"That's what they do," Peter reminded him. "That's what Deaton used to do for Talia."

Stiles sighed in frustration, just wanting to get the rest of the story over with. It wasn't that he was bored, he didn't want to admit it, but the story was actually interesting when Peter wasn't putting on a show that all of them could see through. "Okay, so what happened with Paige?"

"I went to Ennis on Derek's behalf and told him about a girl interested in the bite," Peter stated.

"Ennis?" Cora asked with pursed lips, disappointed with Peter's choice of alpha. "Why would you choose him?"

"Why not?" Peter countered. "Ennis needed a new member for his pack. Paige was young and strong. Doing a favor for Derek meant that Ennis would be in good with Talia. Back then, everybody wanted to be in good with her.

"He doesn't remember it was Ennis, does he?" Stiles spoke up.

"I don't know," Olivia said with a small shrug of her shoulder. "I didn't even know until Peter told us that he was the alpha to bite Paige. If he does remember, he kept it to himself."

"So, then what happened?" Stiles looked between Peter and Olivia for an answer. "Did he turn her?"

"Almost," Peter was the one to speak; all Olivia knew was that Paige didn't take to the bite—much like Jackson didn't before he turned into the kanima—and that she was in so much pain at the end that Derek had to kill her to make it stop. "They were at the school at night and Ennis came for her. Derek heard her struggling and came at Ennis. A fifteen-year-old boy against a giant. There was no reason for him to fight. She'd already been bitten."

"So, did she turn?"

"She should have," Peter told Cora. "Most of the time, the bite takes. Most of the time."

Stiles perked up, remembering what Peter had told him right after he bit Olivia and before he offered to bite him. "When you offered it to me, you said, 'If it doesn't kill you.'"

"If," Peter nodded in confirmation. "Derek took her to the Nemeton, the cellar where Derek and I hid from the hunters when Ennis' beta was killed. I went to them and he asked me what was happening to her. He knew the answer, though. It didn't matter that she was young and strong. Some people just aren't made for this."

"She fought, though," Olivia said sadly, thinking about the utter sadness on Derek's face when he recalled the last moments he had with Paige. "In the end, though, she was in too much pain. She begged Derek to help her."

"You mean...?"

Olivia nodded at Stiles, making him press his lips together in empathy.

"I remember taking her body from his arms, into the woods, and to a place where I knew that it would be found..." Peter did seem genuinely sad about how Paige's life ended. "another in a long line of Beacon Hills animal attacks."

Olivia blinked back tears as Cora asked, "And what about Derek?"

"Taking an innocent life...it takes some from you as well. A bit of your soul, darkening it, dimming the once brilliant, golden yellow to a cold, steel blue," Peter explained. He flashed his werewolf eyes as an example. "Like mine."

-

Olivia played with the fingers on Stiles' free hand, rubbing her fingertips over his nails, down the knuckles, and to the freckled back of them. She kissed his palm every so often, her mind swirling around in a dark place.

She thought about Derek and Paige's story and how she would act if she and Stiles were in their place. If she was in the exact same situation as Derek was in—the Hale pack was still alive, her mother was alive, the war against the Argents, and if she had been an actual werewolf and not an anchoram—maybe she would have done the same thing. The thing was, Derek didn't mean any harm to Paige. He loved her so, so much.

Her heart hurt for her cousin. He had to mercy kill the love of his life and honestly, she didn't think she would survive if she had to do the same thing with Stiles. Derek was one of the strongest people she had ever and will ever know. He was basically one of the people she admired the most because of his strength.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Stiles asked her as he stopped at a red light.

"Derek and Paige," Olivia murmured, looking over at him and just...she was so lucky that she loved someone like Stiles. He was so funny and sweet and handsome and smart—he was everything she would ever want.

"I was thinking about them, too," he admitted. As the light went green and he pressed on the gas to move forward, he added, "I don't believe Peter. I mean, you know how we're reading Heart of Darkness in Ms. Blake's class?"

Olivia nodded and hummed.

"It's in first person, it's Marlow's perspective," he expanded, though he knew she already knew what he was talking about. "The thing is that he's an unreliable narrator. You know the details of it have changed, you know, just because of his perspective."

"I know what you mean, and you're right," Olivia informed him. "All that stuff about how Derek was adamant about turning Paige? It wasn't true."

Stiles raised his eyebrows at her, glancing at her quickly. "Derek told you?"

"Yeah, I was eleven or twelve and I asked him why his eyes were blue," she shared. "He told me about Paige and how she died. Peter was the one to orchestrate the whole thing, he manipulated Derek. He and Derek were hardly close."

"Your dad's a dick," Stiles scowled. "I mean, I'm not Derek's greatest fan, but Peter takes the whole fucking cake."

Olivia laughed lightly. "Yeah, I know," she hesitated and continued, "I know Derek's not helping out as much as he should, but he's going through a hard time. He lost Erica and Boyd, and everything that happened reminded him of all the pain he went through with Paige."

"All right, I'll cut him some slack," Stiles gave in, only for her. "but only because if we were in that situation, I'd be devastated."

"Me too," Olivia pressed her lips to his palm once again. "I love you, Stiles."

"I love you, too."

[fandomenthusiastt]

Responding to a Submission, ep2

https://eusuntgratie.tumblr.com/post/646596071305396224/my-laundry-game-was-off-on-monday-so-please-enjoy

And look at liliaeth hijacking the post with her delusional “Stiles refuses to improve himself and never learned to be useful for Scott because he knows that he’s dangerous and evil and he fears what he could become with those skills” bullshit: https://liliaeth.tumblr.com/post/646621914149847040/my-laundry-game-was-off-on-monday-so-please-enjoy

This response is kinda long so I’m putting a ‘keep reading’. Once again, this is just my opinion, I am not here to start any discourse.

If you want me to respond/react to anything, feel free to submit it!

First off, I wanna start by saying I agree with eusuntgratie.

I 100% agree that Stiles’s ‘flailing’ with a gun didn’t seem like something a cop’s kid would do. Even if he wasn’t trained to use one and be a skilled marksman, he at least would have known the basics. How to hold a gun would have been one of the first things he’d have learned.

I have family and family friends (and a future brother-in-law) who have been or are in the military. One of the first things they’re taught is how to hold a gun. Where you put your hands, how you aim, the safety switch, and where to point it when you’re not aiming at anything,

My point is: Stiles would know how to use a gun. His father would show him how to use a gun. Stiles’s ‘flailing’ with a gun is stupid and the show obviously does not respect him enough to make him competent with any weapon other than a bat. (The fic they linked, Safety, is really good and worth the read.)

Also their rant (this one: ‘theo is the worst. also can we bring back characters i give a shit about, instead of all the gross ones? BRING BACK BOYD AND ERICA oh wait you killed them you assholes. GIVE ME DEREK AND ISAAC AND CORA NO ONE CARES ABOUT THIS CRUSTY BITCH’) is 100% correct, but that’s for another day.

As for what lili said…let me start by saying this:

EVERY CHARACTER HAS THEIR OWN WORTH AND THEY SHOULD NOT BE PUT THERE TO BETTER ANYONE ELSE BUT THEMSELVES

Stiles is not just there to be another stepping stone for “Scott’s the only good guy with powers!!!!” arc. Stiles is how own character and should have things for himself, just like Scott does. But see, Stiles doesn’t get these things.

I’m going to make another rant for this later, so I’ll keep this one short. Stiles never got to explore his spark because the writers didn’t allow it. Only Scott got to be special with his cool new powers, while Stiles remained the human sidekick who was good comedic relief. Stiles. Deserved. Better.

Stiles never went to Argent for training, which, I don’t exactly blame him for since mostly all interactions he’s had with hunters have been bad ones. I wouldn’t want the guys who tried to kill me once around me anymore, and I wouldn’t trust them to teach me things like self-defense. So Stiles not going to Argent (despite that yes, Argent does become an ally later) can be excused. At the same time, what makes you think Stiles hasn’t gone to his dad before to learn self-defense? Or maybe his dad has wanted to put him in self-defense classes before but never got the chance because he’s busy being sheriff. I could put any excuse here, but it all boils down to the writers. They didn’t make Stiles train with anyone, so he never learned these skills would would have been better for him, not just for helping Scott. Stiles. Deserved. Better.

Stiles didn’t get the bite. Peter threatened him with the bite, but he never gave it to him. Derek and Scott never offered the bite (to my knowledge, I know Stiles and Derek have spoken off-screen canonically in the show, but it’s still unlikely) to Stiles, and he never asked them for it (again, to my knowledge as there are canon off-screen conversations. Link. Link.) I have my own theories for this ranging from Stiles being magical to Stiles straight up not wanting it, but I am once again going to give this to the writers. They never gave Stiles the option, though it may have seemed like they had. They were never going to give Stiles the bite. Scott was the hero. Scott is the main. Scott gets the power, and he gets the glory. Scott becomes a werewolf. Stiles is the quirky side character who is the main’s best friend. He may have something useful to give the main (his brain, his dad’s the sheriff, he helps push Scott) but he’s not the main. He’s not the one who is supposed to be the star. Giving Stiles the bite means sharing the limelight, and even then, other wolves don’t get shown unless it’s in a bad way, like when Derek started building his pack and suddenly Erica/Boyd/Isaac all looked like bad guys and Jackson literally turned into monster. (All except Scott of course! He’s the good guy, they can’t make him seem bad at all!) Stiles was never going to get the bite, so bringing it up here isn’t the best argument. Either way. Stiles. Deserved. Better.

And finally, Stiles’s fear of himself. I’m guessing the part they were referring to about Stiles’s mom’s delusions is this one, so I’m going to go off that. First of all, Stiles is traumatized. His mother believed he was a monster set out to kill and would beat him (according to what happened in the scene) to get him away from her. She thought he was dangerous and would kill her, thus she retaliated and shouted at him to get away from her and to stop staring at her. But Stiles was just a child, what could he do that was so dangerous? (Okay okay I know kids are trouble makers and there could be accidents, I mean I thought setting a napkin on fire was cool, but I also knew to throw it in the sink and splash it in water to put out the flame. Kids have common sense!) That just didn’t make a lot of sense to me, but since she is sick, I’m not going to say something like “She’s wrong! Here’s a 100-page list about why!” because this is an illness I know nothing about and she is also a fictional character written the way her creators wanted her to be. So while Claudia shouting at him that’s dangerous and a killer would definitely have traumatized him, I don’t think that’s where his hesitation comes from. I don’t think it’s a “Stiles is afraid of himself and what he could do with this power” situation, but more of a “Stiles is afraid of the responsibilities”. After Stiles was the Nogitsune, there wasn’t really much of a “oh my God what have I done” period that you would have expected, and that’s on the writers. It wouldn’t have been so far fetched for Stiles to have felt responsible for all the deaths that had occurred while he was possessed by the Nogitsune. If anything, we should have seen more of that! I feel like Stiles resonates a lot with the saying “With great power, comes great responsibility”, especially with who his dad is. Being the sheriff, his dad has a lot of power and control over all the deputies in Beacon Hills, but he is also responsible for leading them and being a good sheriff. Stiles knows that whatever kind of power you have, you need to be smart about it, he doesn’t always seem to know how smart he already is, and how good he would be if he had the power. Even without it, Stiles has already proven he could be a hero, even if he doesn’t think that. Stiles isn’t afraid of what he could do with the power. Stiles is afraid of what he should do because he has the power to do it. The writers should have given Stiles some kind of power to help him grow as a character, and he definitely would have been great with it. Stiles. Deserved. Better.

So, to conclude, STILES DESERVED BETTER.

He is not a plot device to make Scott look better. He is not an idiot who wouldn’t have known how to handle a gun. He is someone who should have been given an ability of some kind to further along his development as a character.

Stiles was just one of many given the short end of the stick to make way for others to better themselves and make themselves look grander than they should have.

But that’s just my opinion. -Oopstwin

[teenwolfhasmeinagrip]

2x05 - Venomous

I wrote a whole post of running thoughts on this episode that tumblr ate so I guess I’ll just. give my main points. 

Jackson is a dick and I am still struggling to like him. The fact that they had him be so cruel to Lydia in the same scene that they make out? Not having it. 

Look. Derek’s plan is ridiculous. I get why it’s supposed to work in theory but in practice? Not so much. Still, he is the only one that, since learning what the Kanima is, has come up with a tangible plan. 

We know that the hunters suspect Lydia but have no proof and Scott is...?

This episode seems to be trying to convince me that I should be siding with Scott or the hunters and I. do. not. understand. 

Scott seems to be perfectly okay with Derek’s plan to kill the kanima until we find out that it’s Jackson or Lydia. then, after that he says that it must be Lydia because of Derek’s test. it’s not until he’s challenged by allison and stiles that his tune changes. 

I do want to add that Scott makes some good points about the immunity and he ends up being half right. Lydia is immune but Jackson was not. 

The Hunters will kill anyone that is not human. How is calling them a good option, Allison?

Issac and Erica are being dicks. that’s just fact. No one cares that Lydia laughed at you, Issac. Not a good enough reason to be all honky dory about killing someone. They rightfully get their asses kicked. 

Erica’s character deserved more? (Question mark cause she’s really mean actually. But so is issac and he got a chance to make up for it.) The only thing that we really know about her is that she’s sexy now. 

Boyd is very obviously Derek’s second and we were robbed. I’ll forever be bitter about it. 

The kanima is Jackson which, again, no one knew until it was proven to not be Lydia. 

Allison and Stiles have some growth in this episode. They took care of themselves and I actually love seeing them work together. 

Scott and co. acting like they knew better is just as ridiculous as Derek’s plan. 

Difference is only one of these people had proof (though arguable) to back up their claim. 

Let’s talk about this: 

I don’t understand why Derek is the one torn apart for wanting to kill Lydia. What...because she’s a 16 year old? age aside as far as anyone knew (with a ridiculous test) she was killing people and doing so willy nilly, and possibly going to kill more.

He didn’t go in ass to the wind asking for Lydia’s head on a stick. He came up with a plan (still ridiculous) and went with the information he had in front of him. had he been wrong (which he was) but had he succeeded he no doubt would’ve been dealt with. 

btw. i never see anyone that goes against his plan come up with something better.

I want to add more to this because I see a lot of people saying that his decision to do this in the middle of a war wasn’t smart and while I can agree with that, I also want us to consider the fact that had the hunters “found out” who it was they would’ve tried to kill Lydia as well. They wanted to kill Issac with no proof. Not sure what would’ve made Lydia or Jackson any different. Why anyone is pretending that they have any type of moral superiority is beyond me.

Scott and co. didn’t have a plan, a test, an iota of much of anything other than their love for lydia. They simply got lucky.

I should clarify that I do love Lydia. She is in my top 3 of TW characters. I never wanted her to die. Derek’s plan was ridiculous and he went about it wrong. (Sending teenagers however eager in to do your dirty work? okay.) 

I do, however, think it’s ridiculous that Scott and co. couldn’t prove that she wasn’t the kanima but still decided that Derek and co were the outlandish ones with their plan. 

Scott and co. had no way of knowing, and they didn’t have any plan to figure it out.

[defenselesswriter]

Blanket Fort Protection

@darrenhasmyheart sent me this post and welp i wrote a whole ficlet on it so please enjoy

Five years after Scott had been bitten is when things in Beacon Hills finally started to calm the fuck down. Even so, the pack still kept up on their patrols and research and pack bonding even. Somehow Scott and Derek made the whole co-alpha thing work, much to Stiles' surprise. However, it was definitely a rough adjustment period for all involved. 

For the first time in his life, Stiles had a group of friends, and he'd even consider them family, but if anyone ever tells Jackson that Stiles thinks of him as family, he will vehemently deny it. And he could deny it. Sure, lying to werewolves isn't the smartest, but Stiles has learned how to do it. Sometimes, he just needs privacy, and if they know every one of his white lies then... then Derek would probably kill him honestly.

Stiles flinches when Derek throws Boyd onto the ground harder than he needed to. "Derbear, chill," Stiles calls out from his seat on the porch of the newly built Hale house.

Derek growls and flashes his red eyes at Stiles, and you know what, scratch that. Derek will definitely kill Stiles. 

Stiles rolls his own because he isn't scared of Derek, not really. And his automatic response to Derek's alpha eyes is definitely not the most appropriate, but no one has called him out on it yet, so as he does with those kinds of problems, he ignores it until it goes away.

Boyd stands up, definitely favoring his left arm instead of his right. He gives Derek one of his long, meaningful looks that Stiles either knows exactly what they mean or has no fucking clue what Boyd is trying to tell him. It seems that Derek understands this meaningful look because he growls at Boyd, who just shakes his head minutely at the alpha. 

After that, Stiles calls it quits on the training session. 

Once the pack has left to their own places to nurse their wounds inflicted by the alpha (Erica has a broken wrist, Isaac a sprained ankle, Boyd a dislocated shoulder, and Jackson a swollen eye), Derek turns on Stiles.

"Why do you always act like you have any authority over my pack?" Derek half yells, half growls. 

Stiles scoffs at him and falls onto the couch. "Because your pack, oh dearest alpha, listens to me. Take it up with them if you have such a huge problem with it."

Derek huffs. "We weren't done training for the day."

"You were," Stiles says as he opens his laptop and focuses his attention on the screen. A minute of silence goes by where Stiles assumes that Derek has accepted defeat. He starts reading through the Satomi pack bestiary and translating it into the Hale's. Derek is quiet long enough that Stiles forgets that they were in the middle of an argument where Derek was so obviously wrong, as he always is, when said alpha slams Stiles' laptop lid shut.

"Do you live here?" Derek asks. "Did you move in without my knowledge?"

Stiles glares at him and slides his fingers out from under his laptop. "I do have a room here."

"Go home, Stiles," Derek growls at him. "Training is apparently over, so what possible reason do you have for still annoying me with your presence?"

Stiles hums and studies Derek for a moment. Over the years, they have become friends as they both have worked together on protecting the pack and pulling each other out of danger. Derek is even known to smile sometimes, but this Derek in front of him is the same one Stiles met when he was sixteen. While Derek learned how to be happy again, Stiles learned the important lesson of knowing when to pick his battles, and this one right here is not one to pick at the moment.

Without another word, Stiles slips his laptop back into his backpack and gets off the couch. He sees something flash across Derek's face as he nears the door, but he already decided to not pick this battle, so he doesn't.

With his back to Derek and his hand on the door, Stiles calls out, "Call me when you're done repressing whatever it is that's going on." Before Derek can respond, Stiles opens the door and closes it behind him. Obviously, Derek could easily catch up to Stiles as he walks to his jeep, but he knows Derek learned a similar lesson a few years back: he doesn't have to pick every single battle.

A couple days go by with no word from Derek, and Stiles hasn't grown out of his anxiety or constant worrying over people he cares about, so he has been keeping tabs on Derek through different pack members. Isaac texted yesterday saying that Derek was cleaning the grout on the kitchen tile with his claws. Erica called last night to tell Stiles that Derek won't touch the Chinese takeout she brought over for dinner even though she knows it's his favorite. Boyd answered a simple, "Yes," when Stiles asked if Derek was still alive earlier this morning, which makes Boyd his new favorite because Jackson's only response was the middle finger emoji. That's not an answer, Jackson.

When the sheriff comes home from his shift, Stiles corners him at the kitchen table with a dinner of steak, roasted potatoes, and brussel sprouts (he had to make sure something was healthy at dinner). As soon as his dad sits down, he looks at Stiles with a resigned look. 

"I am going to enjoy this dinner before you tell me whatever you did that will upset me," he instructs, pointing his fork at Stiles for emphasis before taking a bite of steak.

Stiles allows his father to enjoy half of his dinner before he opens his mouth. "I just have one question."

The sheriff groans loudly and dramatically - and people really wonder where Stiles got that from? - before dropping his fork and knife on the table. He settles his forehead into his hand and waves his other hand for Stiles to continue.

"Did Derek show up for his shift today?" Stiles asks.

Slowly, Stiles' dad lifts his head to stare at Stiles with doubt. "Yes," he finally answers as his eyes narrow to study Stiles. 

"That was all I wanted to know," Stiles tells him and starts cutting up his steak, but it's hard to eat when he can feel his dad's eyes on him scrutinizing every detail of Stiles. With a groan, Stiles leans back in his chair and stares at his dad expectantly. "What?"

"Why do you care about my deputy's attendance?" he asks.

Stiles shrugs. "Because you're too soft on him, so if he's slacking I can give him a stern talking to."

"Uh-huh," the sheriff grunts. "I know you have figured out how to lie to your werewolf friends, Stiles, but I raised you, and I know when you're lying."

"Technically, that wasn't a lie," Stiles points out. "You are too soft on Derek."

"The kid deserves a bit of a break, Stiles," his dad argues. "And he is one of my best and most hardworking deputies."

Stiles huffs and picks up his fork to push around his potatoes. "I'm just worried about him, okay? Did he seem off today?"

The man across the table relaxes as their conversation shifts to an actual conversation rather than the interrogation Stiles had set up. Really, Stiles doesn't understand how no one has figured out where he gets a majority of his tactics from. 

"He seemed tense," his dad answers as he stabs a piece of potato. His brussel sprouts are suspiciously left untouched.

Stiles hums to acknowledge his dad's words, but he finishes his plate in silence. As he gets up from the table to rinse his plate, he nods at his dad's plate. "Make sure to finish your brussel sprouts, old man."

And if his dad could have growled, Stiles has no doubt that would have been a moment he would.

Friday night, Stiles nervously walks into Derek's house. It's pack night, and his presence is expected, but he hasn't spoken to Derek all week, so he isn't sure how Derek will react to him.

Turns out, Derek isn't reacting to Stiles at all. Whenever Stiles speaks, Derek either flat out ignores it or responds in as little words as possible and not directly to Stiles. To be fair, everyone else gets similar treatment. 

After everyone finishes dinner, they find a reason to excuse themselves before anyone can suggest a movie as they usually do. Once again, Stiles is the last one left as he finishes up the dishes. He keeps side eyeing Derek's untouched plate before he wraps it up and puts it in the fridge in case he wants it later.

Derek disappeared upstairs once Isaac excused himself, so there really was no reason for Stiles to linger once the kitchen is clean. There's something wrong with Derek, and he knows it. He just can't pinpoint exactly what's wrong. 

Before he can talk himself out of it, Stiles starts pulling cushions off the couches and grabbing blankets from the linen closet. He goes to his designated room and grabs the comforter he loves and the pillows off the bed. It takes a while, and he is genuinely surprised Derek doesn't come yell at him to leave his house, but once he's finished, he's happy with the results.

Stiles goes through and turns off all the lights in the house, starting the dishwasher as he passes it and grabs something out of the freezer. Once it's dark, he crawls into the fort and makes himself comfortable, playing on his phone until he hears footsteps on the stairs.

He can't stop himself from smiling when he hears Derek growling, "Stiles, what are you doing?"

"Cheering you up!" he answers lightly.

"I don't need cheering up," Derek gets out through what sounds like clenched jaws. "I need you to leave me the fuck alone."

For some reason, that is the straw that breaks Stiles' back. "Just get in the fucking blanket fort, Derek!" he yells.

Surprisingly, after a few quiet moments, Derek starts shuffling to the fort. When he pokes his head in, Stiles smiles at him, which earns him a glare. Once Derek is seated at the very edge of the fort, he lifts his eyebrows expectantly. Stiles glares at him instead of giving him a verbal answer because Derek is smart and can figure shit out.

With the most dramatic and heaving sigh, Derek shifts so his back is against the couch like Stiles and his legs are splayed in front of him. He even grabs Stiles' favorite pillow and holds it to his chest.

Stiles rewards him by reaching behind himself and handing Derek a carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream (the heathen's favorite) and a spoon. Then he pulls his laptop closer to himself and plays the first episode of Matt Smith's run as the doctor, which is also Derek's favorite doctor and really the man has such poor taste. It's not that Derek's wrong. It's that there are better options.

Once the laptop is set down near their feet, Stiles relaxes and takes his own spoon to the now opened container of ice cream. Mint chocolate chip isn't the worst flavor, but as Stiles says, there are better options.

It takes three episodes of Doctor Who for Derek to actually start relaxing. The ice cream is long gone and has been set aside on the towel Stiles thought to bring in ahead of time. 

As the end credits start to roll and Stiles reaches to play the next episode, Derek shifts. Stiles looks over at him, and it looks like Derek is about to talk, so Stiles puts his hand back in his lap. Netflix asks if they're still watching, but neither of them click the answer.

"It's the anniversary of the fire," Derek mumbles without looking at Stiles.

The words hit Stiles hard, but his feelings aren't the ones that matter right now, so instead of saying anything, Stiles leans forward and plays the next episode. When he leans back against the couch again, he rests his arm on the bottom cushions not quite on Derek's shoulders, though.

By the halfway point of the episode, Derek finally relaxes into Stiles' touch and leans against his side. Wordlessly, Stiles starts running his fingers through Derek's hair. When Derek nuzzles Stiles' shoulder, he knows the man is asleep. Carefully, he closes his laptop when his socked foot so he doesn't jostle Derek too much. He's not sure Derek has gotten a lot of sleep this week and is desperate not to wake Derek up.

With one hand, Stiles pulls up his comforter around the both of them and curls into Derek, holding him close. In response, Derek tucks his face into Stiles' neck and clutches his shirt. They've never cuddled, not like this at least. They've been more tactile in recent years, but this feels a bit more intimate than Stiles is used to. He finds that he doesn't mind at all as his head falls onto Derek's and his eyes close.

Stiles wakes up feeling warm, but not in a bad way. He's more comfortable than he remembers ever being and sighs contentedly. Rubbing the back of the person curled into him, he starts to think maybe he'll drift off to sleep again, but then he remembers who is curled into him.

As Stiles' heart rate spikes, Derek shushes him.

"Are you actually awake?" Stiles whispers. "Like you are aware of your current surroundings?"

"Yes," Derek grumbles, and fuck, his scratchy morning voice is the cutest sound Stiles has ever heard. "Relax, please."

"So you're not mad about this?" because Stiles can't not ask.

"If I was, would you still be in my house, Stiles?"

"No...?"

"No," Derek confirms. "Are you mad about this?"

"No," Stiles quickly says, not even having to try to lie. 

Derek hums contentedly, his thumb sweeping the skin of Stiles' hip because apparently his shirt has racked up a little. "Thank you," Derek says so quietly that Stiles isn't sure he heard him correctly because to be fair, he has been focused on not popping an inappropriate boner as if he were still a teenager.

"No problem," he squeaks out.

Finally, Derek lifts his head and looks down at Stiles. His face is softer than it has been all week, and something inside Stiles melts. As if Derek could sense that, he smiles a little until his eyebrows furrow slightly and he looks at Stiles as if there is something important to say.

"Can I kiss you?" is the absolute last thing Stiles expected Derek to say.

"Do you want to?" Stiles asks, his brain suddenly moving so slowly even though right now would be a great time for it to pick up the pace and solve the puzzle in front of him.

Derek just nods, his eyes darting down to look at Stiles' lips.

"Oh my god," Stiles says, knowing his words sound a bit freaked out because he is. Doesn't matter. He rushes forward to kiss Derek but ends up knocking their foreheads together. "Fuck!" Stiles groans, his head dropping back down as he rubs his head.

Derek laughs softly, nudging Stiles' hand out of the way with his nose before pressing a soft kiss that takes away all of the pain in Stiles' head. Before Stiles can comment on magic kisses, Derek is cupping his cheek and kissing Stiles' lips. It's chaste and soft and Stiles can't fucking breathe because it's perfect and nothing at all like he imagined. It's so so much better.

"You're never getting rid of me now," Stiles mumbles against Derek's lips.

Derek pulls him closer as he kisses him. Pulling back ever so slightly, he whispers, "Is that a promise?"

[fandomrewrites]

Season 2; Episode 3: Ice Pick

Hello all! I’m back home from my vacation so I’ll be back to updating every Monday but I figured since I missed last week I would post a chapter today! I hope you all enjoy and as always constructive criticism is welcomed!

Season 2; Episode 3: Ice Pick

Pairings: Scott McCall x Twin Sister, Lydia Martin x Best Friend

Warnings: Nothing

Word Count: 2,220

Season 2 Masterlist

Today was the day we were rock climbing in gym class. I was standing next to Lydia and Stiles as we watched Allison and Scott climb the wall. Allison and Scott slowly made their way up the wall, clearly talking to each other. After about a minute they start racing the other up, Scott using his supernatural abilities to stay just above Allison. When Allison looks to see Scott by her side, she quickly kicks his foot away from the wall. She smiles triumphantly seeing him fall back to the ground, the safety line stopping him right before he slams into the mat.

I smirk as Coach leans down to speak to my brother, “McCall, I don’t know why, but your pain gives me a special kind of joy.” He straightens back out and turns around to address the class, “All right, next two. Stilinski. Erica. Let’s go.”

Stiles happily steps up towards the mat, getting on his harness and safety lines without a problem.

Nervously, Erica Reyes, a skinny girl with dull blue eyes and fizzy blonde hair, steps up beside him. As soon as they are both safely attached to the harness and cables they start climbing.

Stiles has no problem quickly reaching the top and making his way back down. Erica on the other hand, has made it about a quarter of the way up and stays frozen to the spot. As we all gaze up at her Coach starts speaking, “Erica? You okay? Dizzy? Vertigo?”

Next to me Lydia sighs, “Vertigo’s a dysfunction of the vestibular system of the inner ear. She’s just freaking out.”

I lightly elbow her, I’ve never talked to Erica, hell I barely even knew she exists since she’s never been in my friend group, but I still don’t want people to make fun of someone with a fear.

Once again Coach calls out, “Erica!”

“I’m fine!” She shakily calls out, still frozen on the rock wall.

“Coach, maybe it’s not safe. You know she’s epileptic.” Allison speaks up.

“She is? Why the hell doesn’t anyone tell me these things? Erica, you’re good. Push off. I’ll ease you down.” Erica is still frozen, the only thing she moves is her eyes, squeezing them shut.

“Erica just let go.” Coach calls up once more. Finally, Erica gently pushes off the wall. She grasps tightly to the safety line as Coach eases her from the wall. Her feet hit the mat and she shakily gets out of the harness, “That’s it. Erica. Shake it off.”

A few kids snicker at her as she walks to the back of the crowd. Sighing, I step up to the wall with Lydia by my side. I turn to her, smirking, “Race you to the top?”

There is a mischievous glint in her eyes as she replies, “It’s on.”

*_*_*_*_*_*

Now in the locker room, I was changing out of my gym clothes with Allison and Lydia nearby. “You’re coming with us tonight, right?”

I look over at Lydia and immediately shake my head. “What? Why?”

“Well Allison and Scott are going to be together, and even though you don’t like him like that Stiles and you will be together.”

Lydia pulls her lips into a pout, “That’s not happening and you know it.”

I roll my eyes but before I can say anything Allison speaks, “Nothing has to happen, but the point is that you two did go to the dance together and he does like you. (Y/N) doesn’t want to be a fifth wheel.”

I nod my head, agreeing with the hunter. “You won’t be the fifth wheel! Stiles would be.” Lydia exclaims with a bright smile lighting up her face.

I shake my head, a laugh escaping, “I am not getting in between whatever weird relationship you and Stiles have.”

Lydia dramatically sighs, “Then bring a date! There are plenty of guys on the lacrosse team that would love to go out with you!”

I scrunch my nose up at the thought, “No thanks. I’m living my life and I do not need a man in it to be happy.” I pause pulling my shirt over my head, “Plus, Nate really screwed me over and no matter how much I want to move on, I know it wouldn’t be fair to whoever I go out with. I’m just not ready to start dating yet.”

Lydia’s shoulders sagged as we made our way out of the locker room and back into the gym, “You girls have fun though.” I smile, trying to cheer Lydia up.

Just as I finished speaking we looked up and saw Scott running towards the rock wall, making it just in time to catch Erica from hitting the ground.

*_*_*_*_*_*

I sat with the girls at lunch, Lydia still trying to convince me to come with them to the ice rink tonight. Before I could speak and tell her no once more the cafeteria doors burst open, our heads all swivel to look at whoever enters.

The girl has a face full of makeup, styled blonde hair, a tight black skirt, showing off her long legs, a white tank top and black heels. “What. The holy hell. Is that?” Lydia asks.

Scott’s eyebrows knit together, “That’s Erica.” He states from the table next to us.

As the exchange is happening, Erica reaches down grabbing an apple from another student’s tray. She bites into it, then quickly turns on her heel and walks out the doors. Scott, Stiles and I quickly move after her.

We follow her to the front of the school where she exists, walking down the steps and into a black Camaro, Derek Hale sitting behind the wheel.

“So what? He’s just turning a bunch of teenagers?” Stiles asks.

Scott gulps, “He’s forming a pack.”

*_*_*_*_*_*

I sit at my desk writing an essay for class. I’m so focused that I don’t hear my mom walk into the room behind me, “Working on homework?”

I jump at the sound of her voice, “God, mom! Don’t do that.”

She chuckles gently, “Sorry.”

Turning to look at my mom who sits on my bed, I answer, “Yeah, I have an essay for English due in a couple of days.”

She nods, “Scott’s not home?”

I shake my head, “He’s with Stiles.”

“You didn’t want to go with them?” She asks.

“Not today. I figured they should have some guy time.”

“What about Lydia?”

“She’s on a date. She tried to set me up so we could go on a double date like we used to but I said no.”

“Well why not? I’m sure there are plenty of guys from school that would love to go out with you.”

I sighed and stood up to sit next to my mother. I laid my head on her lap as she started playing with my hair, “Well-” I hesitate before speaking up again, “I know that what Nate did was horrible, but I can’t help but still care about him.”

“Oh sweetie, you loved him. He broke your heart. It’s going to take some time for you to move on and that is okay.” My eyes started to get misty as I rapidly blink, refusing to cry.

“I know I just- I don’t want to care about him anymore. He doesn’t deserve my love.”

My mother smiled sadly, “No, he doesn’t. But I think it’s beautiful, how deeply you care and love. That’s something to cherish (Y/N).” She paused for a minute, continuing to run her hand through my long locks, “It’s alright to feel broken sometimes and someday you will find someone who looks at you like you put the stars in the sky. And when that day comes and all the days leading up until then, I will be by your side.”

I sat up and pulled her into a tight hug, “I love you so much, mommy.”

“I love you too.”

*_*_*_*_*_*

At lunch the next day I sat near Allison and Lydia, like most days. “How was the date last night? I never got the chance to ask.” I look at the two girls waiting for an answer.

“It was nice to be able to go on a date again.” Allison smiled.

I turned to Lydia, “I surprisingly had a good time. But that may just be because I’m good at ice skating.”

I smirk, “Are you sure it’s not because Stiles was there?”

Lydia rolls her eyes, “Yeah, I’m sure.”

“I don’t know why you won’t give him a chance. He practically worships the ground you walk on. He’ll treat you like a queen.”

“I don’t like him like that. And once again, I’m going to ask. If you have such high praise for him why don’t you date him?”

I shake my head, “One it would be weird considering he’s practically another brother. And two I’m not ready to date again, which you already know.”

Lydia gently grabs my hand, “(Y/N/N) I know that you’re hurt about how Nate treated you but you need to move on. He’s not worth it and there are so many people at this school alone that have crushes on you.”

“She’s right you know.” Allison pipes up.

“Not you too.” I groan, looking at the hunter.

“Listen, I get it. You loved Nate and it’s going to take some time to fully get over him. But as long as the guys that you go on dates with understand that you aren’t ready for a real relationship, what’s the harm?” Allison says.

I sigh, “I guess there is no harm to going on dates if they’re aware of where I stand. I just don’t want to lead someone on.”

“That’s why you tell them the truth from the beginning. I mean I’m pretty sure everyone in the school knows what happened between you and Nate anyway. I’m sure whoever you choose to date will understand.” Allison smiles.

“Or you could have some fun.” Lydia shrugs,

I raise an eyebrow, “You mean don’t tell them anything and just lead them on?”

“No. I mean don’t do dates but become friends with benefits with someone.”

I laugh, “I’ll pass, Lyds.”

“It’s just an option.” She hums, a small smile on her face.

*_*_*_*_*_*

Just as school lets out Scott and Stiles filled me in on what they knew about Derek’s new pack. “So he’s going after Boyd?” I question.

Scott nods, “I’m going to head to the ice rink to see if he’s at work. Stiles is heading to his house.”

I nod, “I would volunteer to come with one of you but I promised Lydia I would hang out today. Be careful, both of you.” The two brunettes nod as we go our separate ways.

“There you are.” Lydia says as I meet her by her car.

“Sorry, I was talking with Scott and Stiles.”

“I’m happy you said yes to a girl’s afternoon. I feel like we haven’t hung out in forever. Just the two of us, I mean.”

I smile, “I know. I miss our girl days.”

Once we made it to her house we grabbed some snacks from the kitchen and headed up to her room. “Okay so I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” Lydia says as we sit next to each other on her bed.

“If this is about trying to set me up you already know how I feel about that.”

“Okay, one, I figured Allison and I convinced you to give dating a try. And two, it’s not about that.”

“If I do give dating a try, I want it to be with someone I choose. Not someone you set me up with. Bit that’s beside the point, what was it that you wanted to talk about.”

Lydia sighs, “I told the others not to tell you but I hate hiding things from you.” She pauses as I knit my eyebrows together in confusion. “Something happened at the ice rink yesterday.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well- It’s hard to explain.” Lydia bites her lip.

I reach for her hand to provide some sort of comfort, “Hey, it’s alright. Take your time.”

She nods, “I don’t really know what happened but one minute everything was fine and the next I was on my knees looking at the ice and screaming.” She gulps before she continues, “I think it might have something to do with when I went missing.”

“Maybe it’s your mind trying to remember what happened.” I suggest.

“It could be.” She replies hesitantly. “I just feel like a freak. Everyone was so worried about me and I couldn’t even give them an explanation of what happened.”

“Well trust me, Scott, Stiles, and Allison will not look at you like you’re a freak. Plus, even if they did, they’ll have to look at me like I’m a freak. ‘Cause I’m never leaving your side, no matter how freaky you may become.” I gently smile at my best friend.

Lydia starts smiling at my words, “I guess we’ll just have to be gorgeous freaks together.”

“Always.” I pull her into a tight hug. We both fall onto her mattress as we laugh at the other.

[panharmonium]

How about Teen Wolf, Naruto and/or Stranger Things for fandom ask meme?

Ooo, I love it!  I got Naruto in another ask, so I’m gonna do Teen Wolf here.

[Also, disclaimer for everyone before I get started: I have only watched Seasons 1-4 of Teen Wolf!  I am definitely going to finish it, but for now I am scrupulously avoiding spoilers, so please avoid any discussion of future seasons if interacting with me here.  This includes personal assessments of how good you think various seasons were.  Thanks all! :D ]

My favorite parent-child relationship: hnghhhghhhhh my FAVORITE THING about Teen Wolf is the parent-child relationships; I love ALL of them.  I guess if I absolutely had to pick, I’d say Stiles and his father - I just - literally I don’t have the words for how much I appreciate that relationship.  There’s some talk from Jeff Davis in one of the episode commentaries about how he specifically set out to write parent-child relationships where the parents are allies to the children, as opposed to antagonists, and that comes through so strongly in this relationship (and with all of the parents, honestly) - but the way that like - Stiles isn’t a stereotypical teen in the normal “pushing parents away” stage of growing up, which even Scott displays a little of in S1 (even though obviously Scott loves his mama more than anything)- but Stiles has just had a different life experience so he just - LOVES spending time with his dad and like goes out of his way to have dinner with him in the cruiser or at the station even when his father is working, and they TALK to each other about everything and they both WORRY about each other and there’s never a sense of like...the parent being an obstacle the kid has to avoid.  Stiles’ entire arc in the first three seasons of Teen Wolf is about him NOT being able to tell his father something for the first time in his life, and about how guilty and upset lying to his father makes him because it’s not something he wants to do and it’s fucking up their relationship and uhh just - hoo boy, I haven’t written about Teen Wolf in a while and it is going to be VERY easy for me to fall into a hole here

My favorite sibling relationship: Almost everybody is an only child in this show, so - hm.  I liked Cora and Derek for the brief period where she was around, but she vanished after one season, so that relationship didn’t really get the development it deserved.  I also am VERY interested in Deaton and Ms. Morrell, but again, I don’t feel like she’s ever been fleshed out in a way that allows me to fully understand what’s going on with them.  She’s always been  one of the most confusing characters to me, honestly; I’m not sure I’ve ever really worked out her motivations.

My favorite family relationship (other): I am hardcore here for the McCall+Stilinski family unit...I think Melissa and Sheriff Stilinski have been co-parenting their children for years and years and I think they count as family even if they are not blood-related.  

My favorite friendship between two people: Actually impossible to answer.  I love EVERY friendship on Teen Wolf.  I guess like...Stiles and Scott?  If I really had to answer?  But I also love the way Stiles and Lydia’s friendship develops, SO MUCH, and literally every single relationship between the various kids, and Derek, too...

My favorite friendship between a group: Original McCall pack, baby.  And I don’t know if you could call this “friendship,” lmao, but the dynamic between the members of Derek’s original disaster pack (Erica, Boyd, Isaac) was just fantastic.  A MESS, but fantastic.

My favorite mentorship: Deaton and Scott!  Honestly, Deaton is one of my faves overall - I keep forgetting that there was a big bombshell dropped about him in the last season I watched, and now I’m like...curious to see where they take that).

My favorite rivalry: Not a rivalry, exactly, but just Derek+all the kids...how he’s kinda their friend but also they kind of hate him sometimes, and vice versa, and yet - he always comes through for them in the end, and they would never leave him behind to die.

My favorite hatred/antipathy: Allison’s mom + Scott lmao.  [And okay, as a bonus - I’m not gonna lie, I was LIVING for the antipathy between Papa Stilinski and Scott’s father in 3B...finding out what we found out about that whole thing was SO fascinating.]

My favorite potential relationship between characters who never talk in canon: I keep not being able to answer this question correctly, because I just never think about it when I daydream.  Instead, a potential relationship between characters who could have talked MORE - I think incessantly about Stiles+Allison in a post-Season 2 world and about the relationship I think they developed outside of what we saw onscreen...I am firmly convinced that the post-Season 2 period was where they became friends in their own right, as opposed to “this is my best friend’s girlfriend/this is my boyfriend’s best friend.”  

[starshinegoblin]

Ok I totally did not just see you reblog a stiles stillinski post so I'm gonna challenge you for completely selfish reasons to write prompt 13 with Sterek! please feed me i am starving

Yes, it wasn’t a figment of your imagination! I do love some sterek and this will be a challenge because I’ve never written for this fandom!!!! So, here is my attempt and I hope that you like it! It took an AU turn but ya! 

"Jesus, you're pathetic. Just call him." Derek mumbled to himself as he slouched forward over his coffee to cradle his head in his hands. His phone sitting unlocked and ready to dial Stiles' phone. As, the younger man's alpha he had every right to check in on him. However, Derek knows that as Stiles isn't happy with him right now. Derek feels a small ache in his chest at the reason but the desire to find out what's going on with him is stronger than his pain. He was just about to cave and call him when he hear's the sound of a car parking in the driveway of  his home. A newly designed house for the pack to come and go as they please.

Derek doesn't need to see who's there. He can already smell them the moment the car doors shut. He gets up from the table to go to out to the driveway. The scent of hospital sterilization mixed with the earthy smokey scent tells him that it's Scott and Stiles. His pace certainly doesn't quicken to the door because underneath Stiles' scent is faint scent of tangy copper. He opens the side door to find Scott about to knock.

Scott is dressed in one of his scrub outfits for the clinic with his arm around Stiles' waist to assist him with standing up right. He looks perfectly fine and should with his own alpha healing abilities. His gaze shifts to his pack emissary and he frowns. Erica had under stated the severity of them getting rid of the pixie nest while he was away for the weekend a the district alpha conference. Stiles has tiny scratch marks on his face and neck along with a nasty cut on his bottom lip. Derek can smell the other wounds beneath the hoodie and skinny jeans the younger man is wearing.

"Oh you're back?" Scott questions as the smile he had on dampens sharing a look with Stiles before he continues, "Anyways, I've been called into work and he still needs to be watched. You know how he gets when he's left to his own devices."

"Yes, I do." Derek agrees stepping back to let Scott and Stiles in.  His mind shifting to when Stiles broke his leg because of the siren. They'd been lucky that his house hand been in one piece.

"I'm right here, you know." Stiles grumbles playfully pinching Scott's shoulder that he'd been holding onto to keep balance.

"Yeah, well you can't be trusted by yourself." Scott laughs as he helps Stiles sit down on the couch. After he's been successfully deposited Scott turns back to Derek. He hands Derek the messenger bag he'd been carrying, "He has to take three table spoons of the syrup at one and he has to take every bit of it." Scott looks over his shoulder serving a scolding glare which Stiles childishly responds by stick his tongue out at him. Scott rolls his eyes as he turns to Derek. The two of them going back through the kitchen to the side door.

"I'll be back to get him after my shift." Scott smiles thinly.

"No, need. He can just stay here with us." Derek countered.

"I don't think he'd be okay with that Derek. He didn't even tell me you were back." Scott frowned, "He told me Boyd was supposed to be home today."

"I just hadn't messaged him is all." Derek lied. Thankfully, Scott being the man that he is didn't call him out on it. Derek didn't feel guilty about lying. It's just that the friction between him and Stiles was their pack business. Scott has his own pack.

"Yeah, well I'm going to go. Message me if he decides to stay." Scott finally said before taking his leave. Derek sighed setting the bag on the island with his coffee and phone. Today was going to be a long day.

Stiles looked over from his comfortable spot on the couch at Derek -  who was at the other end pointedly not speaking to him. The silent treatment had begun the moment Scott left. He didn't need to be a werewolf to know that Derek was upset with him having Erica lie to him. Plus they still hadn't resolved their fight. Which Stiles wanted to do but he found himself being rather stubborn. He's been Derek's emissary for almost two years now since he came to live in Beacon Hills and he thought they were getting close. Stiles has no idea why for the past few weeks Derek's been putting distance between two of them. He doesn't know how to fix what he said during their fight but he can be man enough to apologize for lying.

"I'm sorry for having Erica lie to you." Stiles apologized breaking the silence between them. A small smile sliding across his face seeing Derek's shoulder's relax. "I shouldn't have done that. You deserve to know when somethings wrong with one us." Derek doesn't appear to acknowledge him and he finally gives up the hope of them talking their problems out. So, he goes back to watching tv. The show almost has his full attention when Derek starts talking.

"I accept your apology, and I'm sorry for pushing you away. I didn't mean too and I wish I was ready to tell you why but I'm not. "

The show immediately forgotten, Stiles turns his head quickly to look at Derek only to find the alpha looking at him. He hadn't expected for them to discuss the fight but he was glad that Derek was willing too.

"I accept your apology and I can wait till you're ready." Stiles grins. No longer wanting to be on separate ends of the couch. Stiles stretches out so that his head lands on the pillow sitting on top of Derek's lap. He winces as pain shoots up his side from moving so suddenly.

"Stiles?" Derek says worriedly smelling the acrid tinge in his scent.

"Look, I know you’re a hardass, but can you play with my hair? It would really help." Stiles jokes trying to keep from focusing on the pain.

Derek snorts in amusement as he obliges him. He combs his fingers through Stiles short brunette hair making sure his finger tips gently massage his head. This contact allows for him to start ciphering the pain from him.

"That feels nice." Stiles mumbles. Derek can't help but smile when he looks down to find that Stiles is already asleep.

[queen-of-seventeen]

My favourite drug

So my posting date was yesterday and I did post it on ao3, linked to my artist and all, but I also wanted to share it here on tumblr for everyone who didn’t see. 

ao3

the art by my lovely artist who was a wonderful person to work with and bounce ideas off and shoutout to @thespacebetweenworlds for betaing this and calling me out on rythm, word choice and plot. You’re an angel.

Also thank you gabriella for making  @aftgreverse and moderating, this wouldn’t be here without you!

Andrew washed his hands. First rinsing with water. Top, heel, between the fingers. Then with soap and rinse it all. He never missed a spot. He didn’t feel like trailing blood everywhere he went. Not today, not ever. If only Aaron hadn’t forgotten the beeswax again for his hands. His skin wasn’t keeping up with all the washing.

Done.

He stepped out of the room. This should be the end of his work day. He’d have to make dinner for Aaron and prepare for Nicky’s visit from Germany. He should give Katelyn the week off, he didn’t know if he’d given her a break since he hired her years ago. Nicky could take over some tasks and Andrew would be off work a bit more. His cousin was at least notorious in that.

Andrew was already getting a headache when he thought about it. He didn’t hate his cousin but like was too strong a word. At least Erik and his hot chocolates were coming also.

The family of his patient hugged him when he told them their husband and father wasn’t going to die. Why did people feel the need to hug strangers? It was nauseating. Too bad he couldn’t stab them, it wouldn’t do his reputation good. He did have to be a “good” doctor in the end and not kill anyone. Like the man who had lain on his table.

Would he react the same way if it was Aaron or Nicky on that table?

No. He hadn’t cried like that after Aaron’s accident. He just had to crash the GT, hadn’t he?

He told the family that they would be updated by a nurse from now on and Andrew’s day was over. Besides, nurses did more work than he did, he just had to cut people open and stitch them shut. Easy deal.

Someone screamed outside. Probably a woman who would barely make it into one of the delivery rooms. Nothing for him to do. He made his way to the staff room when someone called his name. It was Boyd. He worked at the ambulances and was always too curious for his own good.

“Hey, Andrew, we kind of need your help? Someone has to stitch up Neil and he won’t let anyone but you do it.”

Andrew remembered Neil. He never forgot anyone, but least of all that auburn haired man that could always be found near Boyd. And if people knew little about Andrew they knew nothing about Neil. Which might be why Neil had picked out Andrew to stitch him up. The young man was full of dumb reasons.

Andrew waved a hand to make Matt follow him to an exam room with Neil.

“You’re doing it?” Matt asked. His jaw dropped and he ran a hand through his hair. “I mean great. Please do it quickly. I have no idea how much blood he already lost. Some freak outside stabbed him and he doesn’t even want to take his shirt of so we can put pressure on it.”

Another thing about Neil that didn’t add up. Andrew followed Boyd to one of the smaller examination rooms. He made Boyd wait when he went inside. The glass matte to keep from onlookers.

Neil looked up when Andrew walked in. Andrew’s face turning into a scowl. “You really had to be helpful today of all days?”

Andrew raised an eyebrow and got his supplies from the different drawers. Needles, thread, antiseptics, gauze. From the still spreading blood stain on his arm. He spread them out on the small table and leaned back on a stool. “I get paid to stitch you up.”

Neil remained silent. His eyes flitted to the door and back. Flighty little thing, wasn’t he? “I can stitch myself up.”

“Everyone here can stitch you up.” Not a lie. They all went to school for some form of medical programme. Andrew was certain that only a couple of the desk clerks didn’t know how to stitch up a simple wound or put a couple swallows on them until someone else came to close the wound. “I have a proposition for you. Either I let you stitch it up yourself, wait until you faint from blood loss then still do it myself and hook you up to an IV.”

Neil turned white. “Or? I only heard one option.”

“You let me stitch it up and you can be out of here in a couple of minutes with doctor patient confidentiality, of course.” Andrew crossed his arms. He missed his knives. Too bad they couldn’t go with him into surgery. He could just as well incapacitate Neil with a scalpel.

Neil stilled before taking a deep breath. “Okay.”

Neil took of his coat. He didn’t seem bothered that Andrew wasn’t helping. Andrew was almost certain that neither of them wanted to get close to the other right then. Neil with his reluctance to be helped and Andrew just not wanting to be touched after surgery when he could still feel the blood under his nails.

He had washed his hands right?Rubbed them raw under the streaming water. Top, bottom, between the fingers. Then with soap, top, bottom, between the fingers. Rinse again. Rub them in with beeswax or hand lotion. Take better care of yourself, Andrew. You’re useless if we’re both stuck in wheelchairs.

Andrew blinked twice before he rolled his chair closer to Neil. His skin was pale and sweaty. Not attractive. Not at all. Neil stayed quiet as Andrew numbed the skin and picked up the needle. He didn’t flinch when Andrew stuck it in. “Staring.”

Neil hummed but didn’t look away. He didn’t look at his arm either. He was lucky that the knife hadn’t gotten stuck in one of the bones.

“I didn’t think you would agree,” Neil mused. “Everyone is always saying that you stick to yourself. That you only got in because you know the shrink and stuff.”

“And you believe them.” He said it like a fact. He knew that was what others said about him. One of the nurses, Renee, told him about it during their sunday brunch.

“I like getting my information from the source.” Neil didn’t ask anything else. He kept quiet for a bit. “This is the first time I’m getting stitched up by someone who isn’t family.”

Andrew fought not to react and tied off the thread. His fingers tied the bandage without touching Neil’s skin again. Tight, but not too tight. See Aaron, I know how to tie a bandage.

Neil cocked his head a poked at the bandage. “You’re already done.”

“I don’t waste time.” He started cleaning the equipment and threw out the needle. “Keep it clean but don’t get the wound wet under the shower. If you have any questions, but I doubt the hospital would make hiring decisions that bad, you can ask one of the nurses on the third floor.”

“You work on the third floor?” Neil’s eyes widened. They were too blue to be true. Maybe someone had slipped something in Andrew’s drink and he was making this all up. Like he made up half of his teenage years before Aaron came into the pictures. All the good memories fell under that category.

“Kevin never told me that he works with you.”

“We don’t.” Neil stayed quiet. “We both have our own team. Kevin is the best neurosurgeon this hospital has. My office is on his floor but I work in transplants and amputations.”

“What if I’d come to your office for advice on how to clean this?”

“I get paid to humor everyone with an appointment.” Andrew was finished with cleaning. Why didn’t he leave? Why hadn’t Neil left already? He should be gone. Should go up in smoke. Gone. Out of Andrew’s sight. “Make one and you’ll see what happens. I’m leaving.”

Andrew didn’t look back when he left the room. He certainly didn’t think he should get Neil’s phone number. It’s not like he’d need it for anything. Not like he wanted to speak to Neil or any of his stupid colleagues again.

**

A surgery is a series of complex steps to make sure you don’t accidentally kill someone for a service they asked of you. In other terms: People ask you to consensually stab them in places where they’ll survive.

In this instance Andrew had been needed to do a liver transplant. The woman who got it was lucky. Some guy before her on the list had drunk alcohol. Stupid mistake. There’s only so many rules for a transplant and he messed up an obvious one.

The lady of the transplant hadn’t drunk even once in her life she said. Andrew had no reason to believe her but the blood test came out clean so it was good enough. Good enough for the hospital and good enough for Andrew to stab her in name of his brother. Minyard. How did he even get settled with such a stupid name? With a dumb twin and a dumber cousin who was sleeping in their guest room with his kid and husband from Germany.

Why was family important enough to come visit so far? Andrew wouldn’t do that.

He poked his mashed potatoes with a fork. The texture was wonkey. It wasn’t smooth like it should be and Nicky would be horrified at the bland taste. How unfair life could be to get paid so much but still have such lousy food. He doubted that prison food tasted better. Even with perfect recall, tastes were always difficult to remember.

Like that one piece of chocolate he filched of a younger foster sibling, or the cookies he hoarded before they would cut off his dinner. He deserved better. He might be an angry midget but everybody deserves food. It might be why going to med school in Aaron’s place wasn’t that bad. He already had the credits and Aaron was his motivation letter. This way he could save someone in the same way he had failed his brother.

Telling himself it was just a car accident was both a lie and the ugly truth. Andrew knew what tempered breaks looked like and that Aaron was never supposed to drive in his car. If the police hadn’t found the guy responsible, Andrew would’ve killed him with his bare hands. Nobody touches the people Andrew promises to protect. Except for that time.

The chair opposite of him made an awful screeching sound before Neil sat down. He had to grace to flinch. A steaming ceramic cup warmed his hands. The last remnant of winter had probably seeped in his clothes during his shift.

Why was Andrew thinking of this? It must be the blue eyes.

“I got an appointment,” Neil said. “During lunch hour because you have real appointments of course but I know you still get paid during breaks. Kevin told me.”

Kevin was a traitor. Andrew knew that already. Kevin always had to talk to other people and complain about Andrew. When he wasn’t complaining about Andrew, his apathy towards mistakes, and his poor social skills, he was complaining to Andrew about people. Now Andrew would feel bad for those people only he didn’t like those people and zoning Kevin out mid rant was part of his poor social skills. Now that he was looking at Neil he noticed some things. Neil was a short, flighty, redhead. Which was part of the description Kevin had given at the beginning of his rant. Some stupid red headed midget who always claimed the trackmill in the gym.

Andrew would ask if that’s how Neil knew Kevin. But that would imply Andrew was interested in it. He wasn’t. Not at all.

“I don’t think you have an appointment right now,” Andrew said. “For one, I’m eating and didn’t ask for you to be here.”

“I didn’t see anyone else sitting in this chair.” Neil grinned and ran his finger over the rim of his mug. A real mug with what seemed to be real hot chocolate, with milk, not water.

“The chair’s reserved for my doppelganger. Ask him if you see him.”

“There could never be two of you.”

“That’s just a lie. How did you graduate if you don’t know about twins, triplets, quadruplets, need I go on?”

Neil cocked his head and smiled. He ran his fingers over the rim of the mug again. “How hard must your parents have had it with two of your personality.”

Andrew raised an eyebrow. He watched the smile slip as Neil looked over his shoulder.

“I have to go.” He stood up. The mug still on the table. He hadn’t drunk from it even once. “Matt’s signaling.”

“You’re forgetting your drink.”

Neil looked back over his shoulder, that damn smile back. “I never liked hot chocolate. Consider it a thank you.”

Andrew’s fingers wound around the mug, lukewarm by now, to throw it at Neil’s head. He didn’t do it. Only because he needed this job. Needed the big sums of money to keep paying for Aaron’s care. For Katelyn and the wheelchair, the special shower, all the medication and physiotherapy.

He took a swallow as he didn’t watch Neil walk away. Didn’t watch his ass like he was back at Eden’s with his brother at his side and his cousin on the dance floor down below.

When were Nicky and Erik coming over again? He still had to hire somewhere to clean the house. Someone to pick up the cigarette buds and empty bottles. He never noticed if Katelyn threw them out or not. He didn’t like to spend time at home at all.

He should visit Bee again. See if she could figure out what was going on in his head. He wasn’t able to. Not now. Not when his life was catching up to him.

He would have to figure that out soon enough, but not when he was a mess. Not now. Not now.

**

Home was a mess. Everything was dirty and Andrew didn’t want to clean everything. Even if Nicky was coming that evening. Andrew and Aaron were going to pick them up in a couple of hours. He couldn’t believe he had taken two whole days off for Nicky. Aaron would be able to entertain him way better.

Aaron leaned forward out of his chair, almost sliding out. His fingers just touched the knight enough to scoot it a bit.

“Be careful,” Andrew snapped. “We should’ve sat at the kitchen table.” That way he wouldn’t have to pick his brother up from the floor.

“I told you, I like the view better here. It’s a great garden. Katelyn offered to plant some flowers. You know it being spring and all that.”

“Bulbs have to be planted in the winter. We wouldn’t have tulips if we had to wait for Katelyn to plant all of them.” He didn’t like Katelyn. Didn’t like how she pried in all the cupboards when he already told her where the meds were. How she insisted Andrew had to clean more because it was better for Aaron.

He didn’t need a stranger in his bathroom. It was his bathroom, his bedroom, his home, his brother. The only reason she was here was because Andrew was living Aaron’s dream. He could’ve been FBI or CIA or just a regular cop by now. He had studied for it in the first years of his college education.

Then came the car. Andrew became a surgeon and Aaron was bound to a desk at the newspaper two days a week. He was a better writer than he first thought, at least. Imagine all the threats they’d get over false news otherwise.

Aaron leaned forward again and this time actually managed to move the knight without knocking over the whole board.

“You’re setting yourself up to lose.” What was his brother doing? They had played together for years now. Aaron knew what a losing move looked like.

“If I can win from this position I want you to do me a favor.” Andrew looked over the rim of his reading glasses. Contacts were for work days, and the dates he couldn’t go on anymore.

“No,” he said. It couldn’t only be bad if Aaron was asking that of him. Maybe someone at his work asked him out out of pity. The guy that can’t walk, only has so many fingers. Must be fun to see if he can get it up, right? He wouldn’t allow for someone to use his brother like that.

“You didn’t even hear what I want to ask of you.” Aaron let his wheelchair bump into the table before he moved a piece.

“I said no. I won’t do you anymore favors.”

“When have you ever done me any favors?” Andrew could almost imagine his twin standing up. He always wanted to be taller when he got angry. It was why Andrew stayed seated in the low chair.

“The last time I did you a favor you got yourself hit by a car and destroyed mine, remember?”

Aaron visibly flinched and sunk down in his chair. “I wanted you to drive me to a restaurant, okay. Katelyn asked me to try out some icecream with her.”

“You want to go on a date?” Aaron nodded. Andrew folded his hands. He had to say no. He had to protect his brother. Protect him as if they were thirteen again and Andrew was the only thing between Aaron and his mother’s hands. Between Aaron and another hit. “If Nicky is still here by then you can get him to drive you.”

“Is that a yes?”

“You’re thirty-two. I’m not driving you.” He stood up. His hands itched for a whiskey he hadn’t drunk in years. They didn’t mix well with Aaron’s meds. He could almost taste the burn in his throat.

He grabbed water with ice instead. A second glass already in his hands filled with lemonade before he thought of it.

The stool felt warm and gross when he sat down again. Why didn’t chairs ever just feel neutral?

His fingers moved his queen in reach of Aaron’s knight. He knew he was setting himself up to lose also. Aaron gave him a look like he understood. He could never. He had never given up the last shreds of what he wanted for someone just because he made a promise. Aaron never kept his promises anyway.

It took ten more minutes before Andrew’s pager went off. Buzz, buzz. He reached for it in the same moment that Aaron got him checkmate. The queen was gone and Andrew had nowhere to go.

Emergency. Ambulance incoming in 20 minutes.

Aaron looked chagrined. “Hospital?”

“I could ask them to page Kevin.” Andrew took a sip from his drink.

“You could save someone’s life.”

“Or end it.”

Aaron gave his brother a cold look. “You’re going to save them. I’ll call Nicky to drive Erik and him over here or I’ll call Katelyn and she can take us to and from the airport. We both know she doesn’t have much other patients with the amount you pay her.”

“I wasn’t the one who said I couldn’t have more than three sports cars.” This didn’t improve Aaron’s look but Andrew’s mood went a bit up. Today was supposed to be their brother day after all and the surgery was messing it all up. “Call Katelyn. See if she still likes you after meeting Nicky.”

He pulled on his coat and closed the door before Aaron could reply. His brother was going to get his heart strings pulled. No big deal. It wasn’t like their agreement was still running. Aaron had broken it one to many times. And Bee said it was time to let things go. They were both thirty-two after all.

The Maserati wasn’t his normal work car but he needed to be there quick. The nurses and other surgeons on his team were probably already prepping the room. He still had to dress and clean. He was too slow.

His feet pressed on the peddle a bit more.

The doors slid open in front of him and he didn’t remember half of the trip there. That wasn’t a good sign. It was never a good sign when he was losing time like that. He should get it checked out. There probably was an explanation for and Bee wouldn’t put it in his report if he asked it during a friendly dinner.

The blue scrubs he wore were still clean. His head was still full. There was so much that could be happening at the moment. What if his patient had already died in the ambulance. Then he’d have left Aaron alone for no reason.

Andrew let someone pull on his gloves. It was long ago that he didn’t dare pull his arm guards off but they weren’t hygienic enough for a surgery. He had no choice. No choice but to almost flaunt all his scars to his team. He saw Renee in a corner. The blatant lie that she didn’t want to be a surgeon. He knew she’d had the training. He knew that she only became a nurse because she got more contact with people that way. It was why the boss was so reluctant to give her a raise, fucking Joan of Arc didn’t care for it. Stupid.

In the end a surgery was just as much the use of the right equipment and team. Andrew knew he had both.

It was a surprise for him when it turned out that he hadn’t known everything from the start. He knew it had been a car crash. Look out for internal bleeding, for ruptured organs, for anything. He hadn’t seen the blood at the start. It was a body, there was blood everywhere, always. Robin was good at suction and watching over abnormalities and he was glad Jack had been transferred to Kevin’s team.

There was more blood than planned. At the bottom under the liver there was a small gap. A rib had punctured it and nobody had told him. He’d have told them how low the chance of succeeding was if they had. Now he had to save the dickwad on his table because someone else forgot to tell him stuff.

No time to think. He had to act. To save the man.

He did. He did save the man. Barely. He wasn’t sure how much of the spine was messed up during the drive, the stretcher, the man handling and the surgery. He could’ve just messed up the man’s chance at walking. Not his fault. Not his fault. Not his fault. He told himself.

This is nothing like Aaron’s accident. He had no control over Aaron’s accident or surgery. Aaron was already done for before the medical team arrived on scene. It was a miracle his brother was still alive. If Andrew believed in miracles. He didn’t. Miracles were for the hopers and the hopeless. He was neither. Faith was a waste of his time and had never gotten him anywhere.

It had only gotten his hopes dashed. A very visual imprint of you don’t deserve this . He hated it.

**

The steps at the back door were cold. The only time they were warm was when your butt would melt into one of the steps themselves. At the moment they just turned Andrew into a popsicle. It wasn’t good for him to sit there. He might get a UTI or some other disease from the bacteria that lingered there. The bacteria that would seep into his lungs and might finally make an end to his misery. Long ago he had thought it was his time to go. The world hadn’t agreed with him. Instead they’d tried to take his brother away.

He hated the world and the people in it.

He pulled his last packet of cigarettes out of his backpack. The flame already leaving the smoke he so desperately needed in his lungs. Starting to smoke had been a mistake. A mistake from 13 year old Andrew. Now he had to live with it. He craved the ashes on his tongue as much as he craved control. Maybe becoming a surgeon hadn’t been so bad an idea. He now controlled life and death after all.

Who was he kidding? It was awful. He much preferred singling out murderers and criminals faster than any other in his class. Yet another thing taken away from him.

He blew out the smoke, watching it cloud his sight of the Maserati. The car bought from his first big paycheck. The others had all gone to Aaron. No. No more thoughts of Aaron. He let the smoke billow around him before inhaling again. Let the smoke fog up his mind and cloud his judgement.

His thoughts became fuzzy. He needed fresh air. Clean of the nicotine to keep him alive. Bee would tell him to breathe.

“You’re a smart man, Andrew. You could do everything you want. Yet you follow your brothers dreams.”

But Betsy was a fool. She didn’t know anything of Aaron. Mostly because Aaron didn’t want to talk to the psychiatrist. She also didn’t know of their little agreement to look out for each other and stick together. One that Andrew was slowly loosening up as he let Aaron go out for a single date. Okay, he did it because Nicky would be nagging too much otherwise but still. Andrew would put his brother in first place even if he only ever got second, or third, fourth on a bad day.

Stupid.

The door opened with a whoosh and slammed shut. Andrew glanced sideways to see Neil sit down on the steps a careful arms length away. He always seemed to do that. Staying a careful distance away. Hmm, what would Bee say about him? He should ask her during their next lunch. As far as Andrew knew Neil wasn’t a patient so Andrew should be able to ask her.

He blew out a big plume of smoke before locking his gaze on the Maserati. He could feel Neil staring, those big blue eyes burning. Andrew allowed himself one more sideways glance. Neil was sitting on his hands. Andrew was barely able to stop himself from wondering about those strong thighs. Damnit, maybe he shouldn’t have given up Roland those years ago. He could’ve gotten a decent fuckbuddy out of him.

“Staring,” Andrew said. He put the cigarette down. It didn’t taste good, nor did the one after that. He had three left in the package before he gave up. It wasn’t a good time for smoking anyway.

Neil hummed. “Looking at you is better than Matt’s face. He gets these big sad eyes every time I tell him I haven’t done something.” When Andrew didn’t react he went on. “Like ice skating, or to the cinema, taking pictures for your own apartment. I didn’t even have an apartment before this job.”

Andrew looked at Neil as he leaned over his knees. Neil’s hair lit up in the early evening sky. It made him look like a fire and Andrew was the one getting burned if he kept at this for any longer.

“My mother left my father when I was eight,” Neil continued his monologue, “both of them died before I was eighteen. Lived in England for a while. Got my drivers license. Lost it again. Got it again in America. I’m very determined to not lose it a second time. Maybe keep to the speed limits a bit better.”

Andrew snuck glances at him while he rattled on. They were small bits and pieces about Neil’s life and while they seemed logical it didn’t add up to the person he tried to be. The Neil who was friends with Boyd. To be friends with Boyd you had to either be a puppy or as close to it as a person could be, or a kicked one. He was beginning to think Neil was the latter.

“I’m thinking of a getting a pet,” Neil said. “Matt says I should get a dog. It could go on runs with but to be fair I don’t want it to chew up my couch.”

Neil caught Andrew’s eyes and smiled. Too sharp for a puppy. He grabbed Andrew’s cigarettes only to get the matches out. It sparked and the flame lit up his eyes. A strange blue, not yet grey but very light. Like a midsummer sky back in California. It made Andrew dislike him a bit more. That the sunset set Neil’s hair aflame did not help his case. It looked brighter than the fire of the matches. He looked more addicting than the nicotine. Neil would probably kill him faster.

Andrew squashed down the small bit of want that went with his thoughts.

“Would you like to come with me to the shelter?” Neil asked.

“No.”

“Okay. I’ll ask Dan. She’s a bunny person so at least I won’t end up with something like a snake. No good memories of those in Australia.” Neil scrunched his eyebrows. “Or maybe not. I should take Allison and get her to buy all the toys for me because I won’t be spoiling the pet enough.”

“A pet is a bad decision. They need attention and you work irregular shifts. We all do. You can’t care for others like that.”

“I could if I wanted to. Something like a cat doesn’t have to be taken out. Although you might be right with all the litter.” Neil leaned back on his hands and looked up to the sky. “My break is almost over. Can I leave you here or should I get someone to stay with you?”

“Need to get home. Cousin is staying over for the week.” Andrew huffed. “This was supposed to be my week off. They owe me a night.”

“If you’re not here who will stitch up my wounds?” Neil’s smile was almost as blinding as his hair or the shine in his too smart eyes. Andrew wanted to punch him. Hard. Right across those cheekbones.

Andrew didn’t get why Neil was still sitting on the cold steps. Why he hadn’t so much as blinked when the flame had reached his fingertips. He was an enigma. A problem. Something Andrew wanted to solve. Somehow he thought he might be better off not trying.

Neil had to stop being so interesting.

Only, his brother was going on dates now . Bee would say to give it a try. People aren’t distractions. They’re a support system if you give them the chance. But he did have a support system. Aaron, Renee, Bee and Nicky, even if Nicky knew just about nothing. He didn’t need a fifth person to come into his house and eat his ice cream.

His hands itched for another cigarette and before he could deny himself Neil was already holding one out.

“I know what it feels like to be addicted to something. For me it’s running, and sometimes that’s more dangerous than a pack of cigarettes.”

Andrew took it and ignored the shiver down his spine when Neil’s fingers touched his. He ignored the burn of two blue eyes. Ignored the questions for the redhead. Ignored it when Neil said bye and jogged to the ambulance.

He ignored all the strange crawling feelings in his stomach until he got home and got distracted by his cousin and brother who had been waiting up for him.

**

Nicky, Erik, and Aaron were sitting in the backyard when Andrew came home. Nicky grinned when he saw him. A glass of wine in his and Erik’s hands, an untouched one in Aaron’s. Alcohol didn’t go well with his medication.

Andrew bypassed his cousin to pluck the glass away from his brother and drank it dry. Maybe not the smartest move as he hadn’t drunk in months either. “No more wine for Aaron. We quit drinking years ago.”

We. We. As if they had grown up together. As if they had those weird twin coincidences like being allergic to the same food or being able to read each other's minds through osmosis. Aaron didn’t like his twin enough to allow for that much. Andrew had started to care too much over the years that he wanted it. Like he never wanted anything but to keep his brother safe.

Nicky moved from his chair to Erik’s lap. His fingers disappearing in blond hair. Curly, like Neil’s, only Neil was a wildfire and Erik was a firefighter. He’d squash down the easy wit that bordered on antagonism. Andrew couldn’t have one. His only two joys in the hospital were tea with Renee and Bee and watching Neil burn someone to the ground.

He had to stop this. Had to stop looking at Neil and thinking of Neil. Had to stop anything to do with Neil. Next time Andrew would let him bleed to death at his front door.

He sat down in the chair Nicky abandoned. The wicks poked his back. Aaron always forgot the pillows. Apparently Nicky didn’t even assume they had them. As if he hadn’t been the one to raise Andrew during his teenage years.

“How was work?” Erik asked. His voice was much lower than anyone else in the backyard. If he hadn’t had such a pretty face and Andrew hadn’t had years of therapy he would’ve punched Erik at the associations his voice brought up.

“Nobody died. I’m still employed. Kevin is still the jerk who gets paid more than I do. ‘Best surgeon in South Carolina,’ don’t make me laugh.”

Aaron’s lips quirked up and Nicky was beaming. It wasn’t often Andrew made a joke. At least not a joke that didn’t border on antagonism.

Erik tapped Nicky’s thighs before making them both stand up. “I’m happy you like your job, Andrew. It will lessen Nicky’s grey hairs. Can’t have Camilla not recognizing her dad.”

Camilla was their six year old. They had adopted her back in Germany and she was tolerable for a little kid, Andrew presumed. Totally terrified of the wheelchair one second and fascinated the next. Too bad she wasn’t able to come as she was the funnest of his relatives but it was only her second year in elementary so Erik’s mom was watching her.

The couple wished the twins a good night before retreating inside of the house. It was quiet for all but a minute before there was a loud crash and a scream - surprise and pain. Nicky came running outside, eyes wide.

“Erik broke his arm. The bone is poking out and all. And… shit, fuck, our health care doesn’t cover american hospitals! Oh my god.”We don’t have money for an ambulance or health care outside of Germany.”

Andrew heard Aaron calming down Nicky as he went inside the house. Erik was laying at the bottom of the stairs and Nicky had been right. That was a bone. But no way in hell was Andrew  calling an ambulance for a broken arm.

Andrew grunted. Hopefully the big lump didn’t have a concussion or any other unnecessary trauma, but there was a big chance that Andrew could help his cousin in law. He crouched and took the pen light out of his shirt pocket. It helped that he’d gone straight into the garden from work. It wasn’t like he normally changed into sweaters when he got home. He never knew when he would be called in again or if Katelyn was coming over.

“Look right, look up.” He gave a couple more orders and checked his neck and head before letting Erik sit up. Both Nicky and him said he hadn’t hit his head. Just a poor fall.

“We have to get you to the hospital to set your arm. I haven’t set one in a while but I know someone who does. I can ring her up.” He looked up at his cousin and brother. “I’m taking Erik. Can the two of you stay at home. Get some tea into Nicky. Erik and I will be back in an hour or two depending on Renee and the amount of available rooms.”

Nicky nodded and helped get his husband off the floor. Erik’s arm was put in a sling made out of two kitchen towels. They put him in the car and Nicky didn’t even threaten Andrew to bring his husband back safe or to not kill himself on the road. Maybe he finally started trusting Andrew some more. He definitely hadn’t finally gotten a brain.

Andrew dialled Renee during the car ride. He was steadily ignoring Erik’s stare and focusing on the road and on getting a room and personnel ready. If only someone on his own team was used to setting bones. But no, they were all stuck with the knowledge of how to cut open a living body and close it before it died.

Useless knowledge. For anyone that wasn’t a surgeon or encountering life threatening situations that is.

Renee met him at the door and let Erik straight into a room to get pictures taken. She was good at this. It was one of the reasons he befriended her at first. The second was that she was less stupid than his other colleagues. Renee came in with the pictures and started explaining the wound. Andrew saw Erik nodding, almost as if he was either going to fall asleep or faint. He pulled a chocolate bar from his pocket and handed it over without diverting his eyes from Renee. He absolutely did not see the grateful look when Erik ripped it open with his teeth.

She set the bone like it was her job. Which it was. In the end it only took her forty-five minutes for everything and send them off with an order for Andrew to buy him a coffee.

They sat down at one of the tables with gross, steaming cups. Erik was texting Nicky the news. There was probably some other stuff in there that Andrew didn’t want to know. He’d had enough of their sex life during their college years. Phone sex was not something you wanted to witness. Especially not when it’s your cousin.

Andrew felt eyes burning into him. From two sides. One was Erik who was trying to talk to him. Even if Andrew was close to passing out from a tough work day and having to drive his cousin back to said work. The other pair of eyes were from Neil. He was looking almost thoughtful and started coming over.

Andrew almost started believing in Nicky’s god just so he could pray for Neil to stay away.

Of course it didn’t work. Neil stopped next to the table and smiled. Andrew had seen that smile. Had almost walked into a wall because of it. Still he hadn’t had it turned on him ever before. He would’ve fallen out of his chair if he wasn’t Andrew Joseph Minyard.

“Hey, Andrew. I thought you’d gone home.” He bit the inside of his cheek. Andrew did not notice that. At all.

“To your boyfriend,” Neil added hastily.

Erik started laughing spitting his coffee back in the cup to keep from choking on it. Andrew just grimaced. That was gross. He had to admit Nicky didn’t have a bad taste in man but the thought of dating Erik left a bad taste in his mouth.

“I live with my brother. My cousin and his husband came to visit from Germany. This is his husband.”

“Guten Abend, Andrews Cousins Ehemann. Wie geht’s Ihnen?” Neil adressed Erik in fluent German.

Erik responded back in German. A lesser man than Andrew would’ve been shocked out of his mind. He never would’ve thought that Neil could speak German. Especially that well. The only reason Andrew could were because of Erik, Nicky and Camilla. He didn’t expect the little girl to speak English after all. He’d rather her learn Spanish anyway. Even if Nicky’s Mexican mom was a bitch she was less so than her husband, so her language should come first in her repertoire.

Andrew drank the last sledges of coffee before cutting into the conversation. “Nicky will start bothering me if I don’t get you back soon.”

He stood up and pulled on his black coat. Neil’s eyes didn’t so much as roam his body as train his eyes on Andrew’s face. Especially his mouth and his own eyes.

“You owe me a cigarette,” Andrew simply said before dragging his cousin in law out. He didn’t miss the quirk on Neil lips nor the one on Erik’s. He also pointedly ignored Erik’s questions about Neil and how much they saw each other. If they worked in the same department. He didn’t say anything.

At the end of the ride Erik had stopped asking and Andrew had started thinking that Neil might be more than just an itch he’d wanted to scratch. Neil was more interesting than Andrew had expected and he didn’t like that thought.

**

Nicky and Erik were almost set to go home. It’d been a little over a week already since Andrew had seen Neil in the hospital that night. They’d smoked behind the building on some days when their breaks coincided but Neil hadn’t said anything about the German. Andrew knew he wouldn’t. Not until Andrew asked and he wouldn’t. Neil had the right to his secrets. The same right Andrew had to his own.

Nicky was trying to get Aaron to wear a suit instead of the T-shirt. Erik was trying to get Andrew to borrow Aaron the car. Andrew was trying to ignore them.

He didn’t lend out his car to anyone. They only got to ride in it as a passenger. It was the only way he could make sure there weren’t more accidents.

More people like Aaron.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and send a single text.

“Come on, Andrew. Aaron hasn’t had a date in years. It’s only one night that he needs it,” Erik said.

Andrew felt the phone buzz and checked the screen. “I can’t lend Aaron the car. I need the car.”

He stood up and began towards the stairs. “Why do you need the car? You were staying home.”

Erik almost followed him up the stairs and Andrew saw Nicky leaning over the balustrade upstairs.

“I’m meeting a friend.” His face blank. Andrew kept walking up the stairs. He made to swerve around Nicky, it wouldn’t do him well to throw his cousin off the stairs, but Nicky stayed in his path.

“Just a friend?” Nicky asked.

“Is it pretty hospital guy?” Erik followed up. Oh, those two were made for each other alright. Both annoying.

Andrew didn’t answer and went into his room.

Neil probably wouldn’t understand that this was technically a date. Andrew had send him a time and an address with a show up if you want to. A bit ominous but quite Andrew.

He pulled on his normal clothes. Things like his black turtleneck and skinny jeans, his combat boots should be somewhere in the back of the closet. Behind the box of all the old study books he didn’t have to read anymore. They were clothes that he couldn’t wear to work. The clothes he felt most comfortable in.

He almost didn’t bother with his hair. Neil probably wouldn’t notice the effort anyway. Still he did it. He wanted to impress Neil for the not-date. O god. Neil didn’t know it was a date. If the guy was as oblivious as Kevin always implied he might even show up in track pants. Well, here’s for hoping. It wasn’t like Andrew couldn’t leave him in the restaurant if he showed up like a hobo.

He walked down the stairs. Passed his brother, straightened Aaron’s ugly blue tie, and let Nicky pat him on the shoulder. It was a step up from the hugging. Not great, but okay.

The doors shut behind him. Knowing he was coming back there to his brother and cousin was the only reason he didn’t freak out at the change. It had been them, the two of them, for so long- He didn’t know if he liked adding people to the mix. Although he had to admit that Erik hadn’t been that bad of an addition.

Maybe Katelyn wouldn’t be an atrocity either. Neil would probably be awful if he finally figured out it was a date. Maybe Andrew should tell him. Yes, he should. He would. That’s right. Just when Neil arrived, to clear the air between them.

Andrew did not get a chance to broach that topic. He was already sat at one of the tables in the too fancy restaurant when Neil walked in. He was wearing skinny jeans, for god’s sake, and a long sleeved shirt that showed his muscles off too well.

Neil sat down opposite to Andrew and immediately took a sip of the champagne. “Matt said this is a date.”

He took another sip and swooshed it around in his mouth. “That you’ve been eyeing me for a while and I was oblivious.”

“Did he also make you wear those jeans?”

“He did,” Neil smiled, “do you like them?”

“They’re less terrible than your usual attire.”

Neil smiled again. A big, toothy grin that took Andrew’s breath away like a stolen cigarette. Neil put his glass aside and grabbed his menu. “Oh, they haveEscargots, one thing I never want to eat again.”

“Jean from oncology said they are better in France anyway.”

Neil hummed. He closed the menu and tapped his long fingers on top of it. “Tried them there. Didn’t like them. The texture just isn’t for me. I think I’m going with hare steak. Have you ever tried that?”

Andrew shook his head. He picked out his own dish and closed the card. “My cousin made me promise to never eat bunnies. I don’t go back on my promises.”

Andrew looked down at the embossed letter on the menu to avoid Neil’s face.

“You never answered my question,” Neil said.

“You didn’t ask one.” Andrew raised a single eyebrow.

“Is this a date?”

“Yes or no, Neil?” Andrew finally looked up. He found the blue and thought of the hottest part of a flame. Looked at Neil and thought of all the secrets shared on dirty hospital steps. He hoped for an answer and wished Neil would say no. Andrew had been a danger to everyone for years. He didn’t deserve someone like Neil. Someone who gave those secrets away like they were loose change and Andrew was a beggar.

He’d promised himself to never beg again but he thought that he might cave a single please to never find his brother in a hospital bed again.

“Yes, Andrew. I want to be on this date with you.”

Andrew nodded. His eyes back to the embossed letters and his fingers tracing the curves until Neil’s hand came into sight. Close but not touching.

When Andrew looked up the waiter was waiting for his order. “The salmon.”

Neil smiled like he had known what Andrew was going to say before the words had even left his mouth. Andrew didn’t know if he liked it.

Conversation with Neil wasn’t like anything Andrew had with anyone else. It was wild and quiet and outrages and calming and so many different things. Sometimes it was completely silent but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Neither had realized just how used to each other they had become with all those hours.

Hours Andrew got the evil eye for when he got home late for Aaron. He realised they those hours had been worth it. Having conversations with someone who treated him like just another human were worth it.

Someone other than Bee or Renee. Someone he could actually like over time.

If he’d ask the ladies they’d say this was good. In all honesty, and Andrew despised lying, he was terrified. Limiting Aaron’s sexual and romantic endeavours had also meant staying on his own himself. He couldn’t feel sorry for that but he was glad he could feel the fear after all those years.

Was glad to have Neil sitting at the table with him when they already trusted each other.

And if Andrew fantasized that night about Neil’s lips on his he wouldn’t tell anyone himself.

**

Andrew crossed his legs. He counted to sixty before uncrossing them. Nicky was supposed to be here already. Andrew had forgotten the burritos at home and Nicky had sworn he’d bring them. Andrew had forgotten that Nicky was always late.

Finally the doors opened to let Nicky in. His dark skin looked sickish in the hospital light. Then again who didn’t look ill in a hospital? Maybe Andrew because his completion was already as pale as that stupid Edward Cullen guy.

Nicky didn’t just hand over the burritos and left. He just asked if they were allowed to eat where they sat and started unpacking his bag. He pulled out drinks and food and sauce and-

“Nicky, you said you were bringing a single burrito.” Andrew raised an eyebrow.

“I’m bringing lunch. I’m leaving soon and I’ve barely seen you because of your work. Which great, you’re saving people. I even saw the girl that patched Erik up outside. She said you have a picture of us and our little girl.”

“She’s lying,” Andrew deadpanned. “Renee doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

Nicky started arguing but fell silent. “Is that redhead who I think it is?”

Andrew turned around to stare in the same direction. Neil’s hair was almost brown under the hospital lights but the smile on his face made him light up from within. They stared for a minute. Neil’s laughter echoing through the hall.

  His head turned and his eyes fell on Andrew, than on Nicky. His soft smile spread across his face as he waved and started walking over. Andrew wouldn’t have minded it if Nicky hadn’t been sitting next to him. Nicky had in no way brought enough burritos for all three of them.

“Is this the husband of mr. My Cousins Husband?” Neil said. He was just standing there. Right next to him. His hair a mess of auburn curls and his hands hung loose by his side. He looked great, even in uniform. That might even help.

“What are you doing here?”

“I asked first.” Neil smirked and extended a hand. “I’m Neil.”

“You are the date!” Nicky’s grin took up his whole face. “I’m Nicky, grumpy’s cousin. I hear you’ve met my husband.”

Neil nodded. He pulled his hand back a little too quick. Nicky probably didn’t notice. Andrew noticed everything.

“Join us for lunch?” Nicky looked a bit too hopeful but Andrew already knew Neil had to get back to work in a couple of minutes.

“Only if this counts as our second date, or should I just text you an address for tonight?” He was pretty sure that if he lifted his eyebrow any higher they’d disappear in his hair.

“Tonight?”

“Yes.”

“Text me the address and get back to work.”

Neil’s smile was sharp and shark like but Andrew thought he liked it. Nicky certainly did. Andrew didn’t feel sorry when he kicked his cousin over it.

**

Andrew was waiting in his car. Neil said he’d get there in about ten minutes. Apparently the loser didn’t have a car. He should’ve mentioned it. Andrew would’ve picked him up. Too late for that now. He said Boyd was bringing him. Nicky had said they sounded like high schoolers. Andrew as the cool guy in his car and Neil being brought by his unofficial dad.

His phone rang and the vibrations made an annoying sound in the cup holder. Or phone holder, as Andrew used it. “Minyard.”

“Andrew,” Renee said. “We need you to get here for an emergency, all the other surgeons are unavailable.”

He turned his key in the ignition and drove off. Neil would understand.

“Tell me who and what,” he ordered.

“Young man, no allergies or prior surgeries. There was nothing wrong with him but well-”

“Spill it, Renee.”

“It’s Neil Josten. Matt was driving him to a date and they got into a crash. Matt was fine but someone drove into Neil’s side of the car. There’s some glass shards in his upper body and we’re afraid he might have a collapsed lung.”

Neil. It was Neil. Neil who was supposed to be arriving at that same restaurant in three minutes.

Andrew tried not to think about the similarities between his brother and his date. Tried not to think that Neil might already be dead before he even arrived at the hospital.

Andrew had never gotten to the hospital that fast.

Getting ready for surgery was a blur and it might not be the safest thing to let him operate half in shock. It wasn’t like they had any other choice. Kevin and the other surgeons were all busy or out of the country or too far away to be able to save him.

There were scalpels and blood and flat lungs and almost flat liners and glass on its way to Neil’s heart to stop it before Andrew could save the one person willing to date him. The one person he was willing to date.

Neil had always respected his boundaries and now Andrew was breaking all of his to save Neil’s live. It was worth it. Even if Neil would hate him for putting him on display, at least he’d be alive because if there was one thing Andrew was good at it was saving life. Stitching skin to keep someone from bleeding out and dying on his table.

The surgery took too long and too short and Renee pumped sugary drinks and food into him when it was done to try and get him out of the minor shock. He was a mess and he knew it but he didn’t talk. Couldn’t say anything. Not to Renee, not to Bee, not to his brother and cousin when they came by in the hospital room to see if Neil was doing any better.

Only there were no signs he was getting better. Yes, his wounds were closing, but Neil was still asleep. His right arm and leg still broken and his mind dormant. Andrew hated it every time he set foot in that stupid room.

His reprieve was work. Work and Aaron. His brother who saw Andrew much the same as he had been years ago. His brother who must see that this was no different than when Aaron lay there much the same way.

A car accident. A couple broken bones. A heart so close to stopping that Andrew was willing to give his own. He wouldn’t die to save Neil but the feeling came close enough.

It took a week for Neil to wake up. Andrew was sitting next to his bed, his head propped on his arm as he read.

“Andrew,” a soft voice croaked. Andrew quickly set down his book and moved the glass of water with a straw to Neil’s mouth.

“Spare your voice. You’ve been out for a week. You could’ve just told me if you didn’t want to go on a second date.”

Neil almost missed the quirk of his lips when he said that. It was a sad one.

“I did. Fucker in the other car ran through red. Must’ve.”

Neil was right. Andrew didn’t want to know how he could still remember that.

“Take a nap, Neil. You need to rest.” Neil nodded but moved his hand to grab Andrew’s. “Stay, yes or no?”

“It’s always yes with you,” Neil said before passing out again.

Andrew turned to his book. His heart started beating again. A shade so dark it was almost black. Rotten from years of neglect and disuse. Years in which he was denied love and care. A heart so dark he thought nobody would see through but his friends had grabbed candles and flashlights and decided they would be his light until he found his own. Now there was enough light. Not a lot but enough. Light for his family, for Bee and Renee and now for Neil. Because Neil wanted him to stay. For however long that was Andrew would take it. He would stay for Neil.

[jemej3m]

To the Good Place We Go (p.1)

part one! hope u like this crossover. hopefully it makes sense???

I read @gluupor‘s hilarious Good Place au and wanted to have a crack at my own! note to gluupor, i’ve changed things around a bit but thanks for the idea! 

link to their the good place au here:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/16782301

part two here: http://jemejem.tumblr.com/post/182518336942/to-the-good-place-we-go

Dan was having the worst day.

And this was the Good Place. She wasn’t supposed to have bad days. She’d spent her life trying to wade through misgivings and a lack of opportunities: Now she was dead, and she was supposed to be happy—forever!

Instead, she was staring at her living room, which was on fire, and wondered what the frick she did to deserve such bullshirt.

Neil—always, Neil—pointed at Kevin. “He did it.”

“Dan, I’m so sorry—“ Matthew Boyd begged. “I tried to get them to stop yelling, but Kevin fell back onto a candle and so Andrew went to get water to put it out, but he thought it’d be funny to pour Vodka instead—How he got Vodka, I don’t know—“

“It was me!” Nicky cheerfully chirped from the corner.

“And so Kevin was really on fire, so Allison asked Nicky to turn on the sprinklers, but not before she could ask for an umbrella, but she never specified which sprinklers, so whilst your garden is currently being nicely watered, Kevin’s whole ass is exposed and your living room is a mess!” He wore his pathetic puppy eyes, and whilst he’d been pestering her to go on a date (“We’re soulmates, Dan! Think about it! We could be happy together, forever, if you just listened to me—Hey! Where are you going—!”) He was seemingly sincere.

Kevin was sitting in a bucket of ice, teeth chattering. Neil was laying on the sofa, grinning up at Andrew, who smoked lazily. Dan hoped he hadn’t used Kevin’s fire catastrophe to light his cigarette, but knowing Andrew, he probably had.

“Oh, dear.” Renee said, softly, from Dan’s side.

Here’s how this all started:

Dan got into the Good Place. Wymack, the ever-present, genderless guardian of their neighbourhood who used he and him pronouns, F0X35, had greeted her at her initiation. She’d died in a brawl outside a strip club, her strip club. She knew she’d been protecting her fellow stage sister, but couldn’t understand how she’d ended up in the Good Place.

“Sex isn’t necessarily immoral, Danielle.” Wymack reminded her. “Neither is stripping. And saving your friend’s life with non-violent negotiations—very brave, and very effective!” They sighed. “Such a shame he had to stab you in the back out of fury as you were escorting your friend back inside. Would you like to hear a recording of how he is experiencing the Bad Place? Your friend stabbed him with your murder weapon out of anger.”

“She what?” Dan had blanched. “Is she alright?”

“Oh, she’s fine. Don’t you worry.” He huffed, arms flexing as they stood out of his chair. “Welcome to the Good Place, Danielle. Would you like a cup of coffee before Nicky escorts you to your new home?”

“But sir—“

“No buts.” Wymack pointed at her. “Tea, coffee, lemonade or scoot.”

She stood obediently, nodded in thanks and left.

She hadn’t need to worry about her unremarkably neutral life, wherein she’d done just as many shirty things as she had good things, because her soulmate—Matthew Boyd, an overbearing young man with horrifically spiked hair and pouted lips—confessed to her immediately.  

“I don’t know why I’m here.” He whispered. They were sitting together on her couch: She was in a studio-style house, with a jacuzzi and a large bed. It was sophisticated but not excessive: It was perfect. “I overdosed on drugs at a socialite’s party, with a bunch of rich shirt-heads! Oh, gosh, Wymack’s going to kick me down to the Bad Place, isn’t he?”

“Shh.” Dan hissed. “I was a stripper and totally scammed and stole from all my customers so I could support my aunt and my baby cousin, I wasn’t much better.”

Matt looked relieved. “Oh, thank gosh. I was terrified of having to keep my secret for all of eternity. This must be why we’re soulmates.”

“Because we’re shirty people in disguise.” Dan said dryly. He looked sheepish. “Whatever. Whatever’s happened, it’s probably a mix-up. Do you want to go down to the Bad Place, because I don’t. My killer is there. So keep your mouth shut.”

“Yes ma’am.” He muttered.

That was how she’d found out about Matthew. The others had all followed suit: She found Kevin and Neil trying to beat each other up in a secluded spot by the lake, yelling censored profanities at each other and insulting each other with petty accusations.

“You stole Andrew’s whisky!”

Kevin blanched, before scowling furiously. “You were there!”

Dan tore them apart physically then tore into them verbally. By the end they were sullen but quiet, and Dan walked down the lake’s jetty, her heart thudding in her chest. How many of them were frauds? The neighbourhood only had three-hundred and twenty-two of them, and she could count four that definitely didn’t qualify to be there.

Andrew sailed past the jetty she stood on, laying on his back in a little row boat. His eyes were closed, arm thrown lazily over his face. In his hand, he spun a terrifyingly sharp throwing knife.

“Interfere with my things again and I’ll get you kicked out of here.” Andrew floated away, leaving Dan struck silent.

Make that five people.

Eventually, she discovered the rest. Some, on accident: Some, like Kevin and Neil, because of truly stupid and avoidable situations. Some, like Matt and Renee, just came right out with it.

That’s how all ten of them —  Allison, because she was ‘deprived of gossip’, Renee, because she was at least somewhat moral, Matt, because Dan couldn’t shake him off her tail, Seth because he was arrogant but not stupid enough to miss this entire sham, Kevin, Andrew and Aaron, because they went everywhere together, Neil because he was like a lost puppy, and Nicky, because someone had called for him—ended up in Dan’s living room and promptly wrecked the place when she’d gone to check the perimeter for nosy neighbours.

She never remembered lighting those candles, anyway.

“Everyone,” She said, barely able to contain her anger. “Shut up. Don’t move. Or so help me, I’ll kill you all.”

“Too late.” Neil harped, before Kevin whacked him over the back of the head and he sulked into the couch.

“We’re going to figure something out, as a group, okay?” She insisted. “Okay?”  

They mumbled in assent.

Dan sighed. If all the shirt she’d endured in her short life hadn’t aged her, trying to conceal eight people’s true moral standings so that they wouldn’t be struck from a peaceful afterlife surely would.

Welcome to the forking Good Place.

“Now, Renee, do you understand?”

She nodded. “Ingenious, really, sir.”

He sighed, rubbing his temples. “Fortunately for you, Renee, much of your reformation happened whilst on earth. The others didn’t get that chance, so it will take much longer for them to come forward about their true moral standings. You must not tell them that it’s a test, okay?”

“Okay.” She promised. “I hope they succeed.”

This was honest, as Renee stood by honesty: She had confronted Wymack on her first morning, after their introductory seminar in the town square, telling him her true upbringing, her crimes and her regrets. He had smiled with relief and sat her down in his office to explain the truth: A select group were all unqualified for the Good Place, but could earn their spot if dedicated enough. He’d known about her all along.

“I hope you all do.” Wymack confirmed. “This—Middle Place Project—Nicky!”

Nicky popped up from behind the desk, next to Wymack. Renee smiled at him and he waved, curls bouncing. “Yes, sir?”

“From now on, we’re referring to F-0-X-3-5 as MPP, for efficiency purposes, and also to keep it discreet. Also, tick off Renee Walker’s name from MRPFMPPL1.”

“What does that mean?” Renee inquired.

“Moral Rehabilitation Process For Middle Place Project List 1.” Wymack frowned. “That is a bit much, isn’t it. Nicky, change all the MRPFMPPL’s to just Test and whatever number it is.”

“Of course!” And then he disappeared again.

It was an odd thing, the afterlife. And while Renee had placed all her faith in God, she wasn’t disappointed to find a non-denominational place for a peaceful existence after death. Besides, Wymack was practically at the bottom of the chain in regards to omnipotent guardians.

He turned back to her. “Where were we?”

“Discussing the Middle Place Project.” She reminded him. “You were saying you hope we all succeed.”

“Right, right. Well, my superiors think it’s a bad idea. They’re a bit old-fashioned: Everything’s black and white for them: There’s no such thing as second, third, fourth chances, not for lost causes. Sound familiar?”

She nodded.

“We’re working on it, but it’s not your concern. Okay?”

“Okay.” She promised. His words were always soothing, so any unrest she felt was immediately eased.

“Alright, well, that should be everything.” He stood. “Get lost, Walker, and have fun.”

She hesitated by the door. “Wymack?”

He looked up at her from the papers on his desk. They hadn’t been there a moment ago. “Hm?”

“Do you believe in lost causes?”

He paused. A tiny smiled appeared. “Is there anything else worth believing in?”

She beamed and closed the door behind her.

Andrew wasn’t interested in his own wellbeing, but he’d promised Kevin that he wouldn’t let Riko take him down to the Bad Place, and he’d promised to always stand by Aaron’s side. Turns out Walker — not-so-innocent Walker — had beat him in Wymack’s honesty race.

Andrew had planned on telling him about his mother, the four homophobes at the bar, the arson and thievery, the violence. That’d surely get him sent to the Bad Place, where he’d wipe Kevin and Aaron’s names from record and then get to spend the rest of eternity being the Devil’s incarnate, or whatever.

So when Wymack had congratulated him, called his pet robot to strike his name off the list and informed him that it was all a stupid forking test, he’d felt a flicker of rage—towards himself, for not suspecting this.

Then his attention turned elsewhere. “Just me and Walker, right?”

“Correct.” Wymack nodded.

“So can you tell me about Neil?”

Wymack frowned. “What about him?”

“Well, he’s a liar and a threat.” Andrew said, petulantly.  

“Is this because he’s your soulmate?” Wymack furrowed his brows. “I understand that with your past, such an intimate proposition might be intimidating, but I assure you that—“

What? Neil, his soulmate?

Irrelevant. Not true. Andrew didn’t have a soul, so how could he have a soulmate? He flung the fleeting idea aside and bludgeoned on. “No, I’m saying that Neil’s a threat to the safety of this whole fricking mission of yours and if you got your stupid fricking omnipotent head out of your frigid ash, you’d see the same. Ash. You know I’m trying to say ash, not ash. Fork.”

Wymack shook his head. “You’re not the boss here, Andrew. Okay? Leave me to worry about these things. Talk to Nicky about talking to someone, wont you? Trauma is best dealt with through professional therapeutic techniques.”

Andrew bristled, standing up.

“Storming out is very immature!” Wymack called.

“Fork you!” He yelled back.

So Wymack had given him a non-discreet warning to leave the problems to him, but since when had Andrew ever obeyed a request, or failed a promise? Never. And he wasn’t going to start now, not even in death. So he decided to take care of Neil himself.

Step one: Intimidate.

Glaring didn’t work. They were all standing around, socialising from behind glasses of champagne. Andrew let his eyes linger on Neil’s lithe form, the high cheekbones. And yet, when Neil noticed Andrew’s heavy stare, he simply rose his eyebrows up as a challenge.

He tried a more tactical method, being, shoving Neil up against a white-and-gold patterned wall in an abandoned corridor—who’s house was this, anyway?—his forearm against Neil’s throat.

“You’re not meant to be here.” He hissed, leaning in close enough that their noses were practically brushing.

“Really?” Neil snapped. “What about you, murderer?”

The accusation slid off Andrew like water off laminated paper, so he bared his teeth and leaned impossibly closer. “All bark, no bite, rabbit.”

“Rabbits don’t bark.” Neil’s lips curled up, ever so slightly.

Andrew shoved off him and made himself scarce.

So. Intimidating didn’t work. He moved onto step two: Investigating.

Nicky was useless, smiling in a way that made Andrew want to pull his teeth out and shove them into his eyes. “I can’t reveal personal information about other residents. I can, however, provide you with a Wikipedia page.”

Neil Josten.

It came up with nothing.

“Thanks for nothing.” He said, dryly.

“You’re welcome!” He beamed, before disappearing again. Good lot of help that was.

So, once again, he upped the theatrics. Nicky, though disapproving, gave him a dozen sachets of cracker dust. It was only a matter of time before Allison hosted another stupid party, as though she was trying to better her parents in the afterlife. Ridiculous.

“A drink?” Nicky offered him. He was deliberately standing by Neil, who was refusing to admit his discomfort and move away. Stubborn little shirt.

“Whisky.” He hooked a finger under Neil’s chin. “You?”

“I’m fine.”

“He’ll get a soda.” Andrew amended.

Neil frowned. “Why are you being nice?”

“Got off on the wrong foot, didn’t we? Wouldn’t want to continue our eternal partnership as soulmates hacking at each others throats, would we?”

The colour drained from Neil’s cheeks. “We’re what?”

Nicky appeared with the two drinks: Andrew intercepted, a sachet ready in his palm, and handed Neil the soda. It was still swirling around its glass when he took a massive gulp, positively shaken by Andrew’s admission.

“You seem shaken, Neil.” Andrew leaned forward. “Didn’t think a monster such as myself could have a soulmate? That’s very hypocritical, if my suspicions about you are correct.”

He drained the glass in an attempt to avoid answering Andrew’s pestering, but he was already wobbling on his feet. A secure arm around the waist kept him upright until they’d found themselves in what looked exactly identical to wherever they were before; Allison’s place was a fucking maze.

“What did you do!” Neil spluttered, furious. Scratching at his skin, his voice became hysterical and  breathing became laboured. “I forking swear to gosh, I’ll kill you, I will—“

“What are you doing here, Neil?” Andrew demanded. “Are you from the Bad Place? Trying to drag us all back down there?”

“You think I’m a mole?” He said, incredulous. He was readily turning a putrid shade of green. Andrew wondered if what Nicky gave him was actually cracker dust. Could have been asbestos. cyanide, maybe even ground up Lucky Charms: There was no way of telling. “Are you out of your Gosh-darned mind, you psychotic forking midget?”

He was the midget? Neil was only three inches taller. Andrew leaned into his ear. “Give me one good reason to let you stay, and I’ll back off. Clear?”

“I’m going to be sick.” Neil moaned, shoving weakly at Andrew.

He shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

Then he left, leaving a very poorly and bewildered Neil alone. There would always be another day: This was the afterlife, after all. This was eternal.

What he wasn’t expecting was Neil Josten in all his blatant honesty, sitting on the roof of his own house at sunset. He had two cigarettes on hand, offering one to Andrew and looking out wistfully over the rolling fields and fellow neighbour’s abodes.

This house was identical to Cass’s. It was meant to be all his, empty of his old demons and offering only the best memories. If only Andrew’s mind was remotely functional: Then he would be able to isolate the good and the bad, and be able to live in peace under this roof. Except he couldn’t, so he had to stare at a forking muffin tray and think about the time his foster brother forked him half to death.  

It’s why he had a hammock drawn up between two trees at the bottom of his garden. He was creating a nice little space for himself, behind a large bush that obstructed the house from view.

“I don’t really know why I’m so terrified of the truth when I’m already dead.” Neil said, thoughtfully. “I suppose I’m scared of meeting my father again if I’m sent down there. He’s the one who killed me, by the way. What am I saying—I know I’ll see him again. He’s my worst nightmare. He’s bad enough that they probably promoted him in anticipation of my arrival.”

“Why are you telling me this.” Andrew said flatly, despite the leap of his heart.

Neil shrugged, eyes cast downwards. “I know you wont turn me in. I don’t know how I know, or why I’m so sure, but I just—“ He waved his hands around. “I don’t forking know.”

Andrew could attest to that. Nodding, they smoked in agreeable silence. What was surprising was the weight of—could it be—guilt? It pressed down on his shoulders, and he hated. So he straightened up, looked right at the sun like he was never able to on Earth, and said; “Truth for truth. This house is a replica of my almost adoptive family’s home. I hate it.”

Neil was looking at him. Andrew hated that too. Why was it, that when they had all of eternity stretched out in front of them, he felt like spilling every secret he’d withheld on Earth? It made no sense. This made no sense. Neil made no sense.

Especially when he said; “So come stay at mine.”

So, yeah. Neil’s strange brand of honesty shocked Andrew enough for him to forget that nothing ever took him by surprise. But only for a moment. And yes, his devastatingly sharp cheekbones and incredibly blue eyes were horrible and Andrew hated every atom of Neil’s being, but he found himself smoking in silence beside the young man and finding it—comfortable.

As far as he knew, it was still just him and Renee who had confronted Wymack. A few weeks had to have passed since, but Andrew had no way of knowing the time or date, so he couldn’t say for sure. What he could say was that Wymack was frustratedly pacing grooves into the carpets of his office, waiting for one of them to step forward and prove their integrity. Neil was a jumble of lies and dead-ends, and the only thing he’d come clean about were his motives for staying in this place.

Neil would be the last to confess to Wymack. Andrew was sure of it.

Which was why, when Neil stood up at a neighbourhood meeting, Andrew’s entire being came to a grinding holt

He had the sun illuminating a red halo from above, the ferocity of his gaze intense and determined.

“I don’t belong here.” Neil admitted, in front of dozens and dozens of people. “I’m not who you think I am, and I don’t belong here.”

Oh, Andrew thought. Fork you, Neil.

hope u enjoyed!

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Lmfao look @ this embarrassing display of pathological jealousy & butthurt right here https://liliaeth.tumblr.com/post/185660274761/i-will-never-get-over-how-the-teen-wolf-fandom

https://russianspacegeckosexparty.tumblr.com/post/185660318562/i-will-never-get-over-how-the-teen-wolf-fandom

https://princeescaluswords.tumblr.com/post/185660625460/i-will-never-get-over-how-the-teen-wolf-fandom

DELUSIONAL #1: I will never get over how the Teen Wolf fandom treated Scott McCall. He is the literal protagonist of the show (he’s the teen wolf!!) but the fandom looked at him and went : “you know what would be even better? His boring white best friend. We’re gonna make him the main character”.

If you knew nothing about Teen Wolf except for what you would find on Tumblr, you would assume that Stiles is the protagonist. He gets the metas, the thousands of fics dedicated to him and his family and his angst. He gets the most popular ship, he gets all the people defending him and actions.

Meanwhile, Scott gets treated like dirt. He’s villainized, he’s dumbed down, he gets ignored.

Scott McCall deserves better 2kforever, and if any Stiles fans try to argue you’re getting blocked.

DELUSIONAL #2: I never knew how much I hated the color taupe (lbr, I didn’t even KNOW what the color taupe was) until every fucking where you turned in fandom was an ode to Stiles’ whiskey-taupe colored eyes.

DELUSIONAL #3: Let’s be completely fair here, Jeff Davis said multiple times both in interviews and in Dir. Commentary that he liked Stiles the most, identified with him the most, and poured the most into that character. The Fandom got bored with Scott because well, Jeff kind of wanted us to. /he/ was bored with Scott.

It’s only on my most recent re-watch that I’m falling in love with Scott. His heart I used to chalk up to “boring Lawful Good”, his loyalty as well. And to be fair, Tumblr was going through kind of a “Sherlock” phase where being super smart and talking fast and making doe eyes at another boy made you automatically the most likeable no matter how uninteresting you are.

None of this excuses treating Scott poorly. He’s the definition of “best boy”, he’s the soft gooey center that pulls this overly dramatic teen drama together! But it might at least explain it.

DELUSIONAL #2: Yeah, except that doesn’t track for a number of reasons. Firstly, the show itself WAS focused around Scott the first two and a half seasons. Sure, Stiles still had his ‘scene stealing moments’ or whatever, but the plot, the character arcs, the themes - they were very clearly focused around Scott and his story up through the end of 3A.

That never stopped fandom from being shitty as hell to Scott from like, the very first episodes. So Davis’ investment or lack thereof in Scott is not connected to how much or how little shit fandom shoveled Scott’s way.

Secondly, fandom is extremely vocal about hating Davis and his choices like….across the board. Even when he poured EVERYTHING into Stiles’ character and story to the exclusion and detriment of the main character, it still wasn’t enough for fandom as it wasn’t HOW they wanted everything focused on Stiles, he wasn’t with the right love interest, he wasn’t kicking ass in the right way, he wasn’t a spark, etc, etc. Fandom never ever took their lead from Davis and his story and character directions, and they were never shy about saying so.

I have a lot of criticisms for and of Davis, like a looooooooot, but there’s no spreading the blame around here.

Fandom’s treatment of Scott is on fandom and no one else. They never wanted the quiet kind-hearted Latino boy as the lead, they wanted him supporting their two white faves instead of ‘stealing focus’, and no amount of focus and nothing Scott actually did or didn’t do was ever going to change that!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow. Looks like Tyler Posey is not the only one who’s unhealthily obsessed with Dylan O’Brien (and with Stiles Stilinski, too, since TP feels the need to bring Stiles up in every single fucking interview and keeps whining about how Sciles should have been the most popular ship of Teen Wolf, or about how he wants to see more Scott/Stiles stuff like a whiny, entitled manchild) https://poseysprostate.tumblr.com/post/183385569523/i-think-the-stiles-and-scott-shippers-or-anyone

https://blamscilesswanqueenforever.tumblr.com/post/183424757827/hobrien-will-teen-wolf-fans-like-now

Also, nah. Scott McCall is a bland, boring, uninteresting, shitty excuse of a badly written and portrayed fictional character with no development whatsoever, therefore no one owes him nor Tyler ”shipping non canon ships is incredibly offensive and disrespectful towards the writers, producers, and everyone involved in *MY* show unless said non canon ships involve *MY* character Scott McCall” Posey anything.

No one’s fault even Peter Hale’s Shelby Cobras are canonically more complex, relevant and interesting than true petty dictator wannabe with delusions of grandeur Scoot McBelowAverageIdiot could ever hope to be, delusionals! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Cookie: Shit like this makes me very glad I was not involved with the fandom in its heyday. I remember when I joined tumblr in like 2013? 2014?? Everyone kept going off and ranting about how the fandom was so racist and horrible and abusive to main character and blah blah blah, so I wisely chose to just stay away from Teen Wolf. (Literally didn’t even watch it until the show ended two years ago and I started seeing promos for Maze Runner: TDC and realized I never saw Scorch Trials and was like ‘oh hey! I recognize that dude!) I was very pleasantly surprised to find that the fandom as a whole is actually pretty great. 

As for all of that mess up there, whoo, I hope they stretched before all that reaching! Literally the only people that concerned with race in this fandom are the delusionals. Sorry babes, but an ethnically ambiguous (and proud of it!) actor playing a character who alludes to being Latino one time like 3 seaons into the show does not representation make! What’s more, no one is required to like a character purely based on your head canon of their race, and disliking that character based on many factors (that don’t even touch what Scott McCall’s race may or may not be) does not make any of us racist. Funny enough, Most of us actually adored Boyd, and Danny, and Kira, and Mason, and everyone else on this show who’s race wasn’t ambiguous. Why? Because those characters were actually fun and interesting. Scott McCall? Not so much. 

And I have no idea what part of fandom they are in that Scott is the most poor abuse puppy ever and everyone hates him like, what? I love fanon Scott, and I mean that unironically. In fandom I often see him written exactly as the kind of character they wish he was; kind, empathetic, a good friend, and a good boyfriend. When they rant and rave about how Scott is portrayed as dumbed down or villainized, I can’t help but wonder... are they talking about, *gasp* canon Scott? Because I’m sorry, but canon does not support their idealized view of him. Which is okay! That’s what fandom is for! 

A few weeks ago i got a really shitty comment on a fic I wrote like a year ago, and this person complained (for an exhaustive amount of paragraphs) that I didn’t write the characters to their specific tastes, and that I had to be sympathetic with their predicament because you see, they cannot write. Therefore I must do it for them, or pay the consequences. 

That is the same time I am getting from this, about Stiles getting all the meta and such. Like, do they understand why Stiles gets the meta? Because people write it! No one is stopping the delusionals from writing meta about Scott, in fact I would encourage it. Be the change you want to see in the world. (Although fair warning, I have read their metas and they seem to somehow always end up revolving around Stiles in some way. Who is it that’s obsessed with him, again?) Instead of spending all their time complaining, they could be writing all they physically could about Scott, creating content that portrays him in the way they want to see him portrayed. But they don’t. Because then what would they complain about?