#I never really lost my childhood Remy crush

[grabyoursaintsandpray]

I am deceased

[anxiouslyfred]

Signed Books

Summary: Roman gets books signed for endings in his life and has sine his early school days. Sometimes he looks back on them and has one comment he seeks out more than the rest

Authors Note: The comments are from books I’ve had signed, this is all me projecting onto Roman big time. I just needed to write something to take in my thoughts over these books I love

/\/\

It was a thing stolen from his childhood and Roman wouldn’t let anybody take it from him. Perhaps the other kids were getting t-shirts signed with discount fabric markers and sharpies, or just getting everyone to write in their yearbooks for the more studious, but that first time?

Roman had lived for the arts classes and the library where he could run away into fantasy worlds. So when the end of his time at that school came, he picked one of the books the library were selling from the trailer and for 30cents brought it to get his friends to sign.

After that, if Roman was leaving a school, university, job, or just knew something was ending, he’d pick a book he’d read there to get people to sign. The only signature he ever covered was one that he could only look at and see lies, so he’d painted over it, leaving only his name and that of the one who’d written it visible.

Sometimes, looking at his shelf, Roman thought he should have more books that people signed, more memories of friends and co-workers captured in stories, or once a non-fiction book, that he’d enjoyed. Othertimes he was happy with what was there.

Those books were the reason he was never short for an answer when asked if the house was burning what he’d rescue, but also why he’d rarely answer truthfully. How is the most valuable thing for him some books with nothing special about them to collectors?

It was the simplest thing ever really, where else, when Roman was feeling like crap, or perhaps just a bit nostalgic, could he find phrases like:

“You’ve done a good job not dying so far. Keep up that non-dying streak.”

“Hello, Goodbye, Get Lost”

“I expect that you wear fancy dress at least once a month.”

“Never underestimate the importance of a smile”

“Cheese!”

Or a compliments competition 2 of his friends once got in to his amusement.

One of the best comments in Roman’s books though was hidden, just added among the pages of the non-fiction book he’d picked as a not so subtle jab against a toxic workplace.

“Being Roman is a Blessing. Love from Remy xxx”

When Roman shared once that looking back at that comment boosted his self-confidence by a mile, the person he’d been speaking to assumed Remy had been a boyfriend, or at least had a crush on Roman. If it was there he never saw it though. The quote was important for that reason.

This was just someone who geniunely saw Roman’s extravagance, and his impulsive celebrations and loved him for it. Just a co-worker who had written a line and had shown in their actions that Roman being himself was a blessing in their mind.

That helped more than Roman could ever say, and he still wondered if it would be odd to reach out to Remy and thank them for the comment at some point.

[applejacks1552]

Welcome to my Ted Talk where I attempt to convince you that Gambit is really very good with kids and would make a great parent in the 616. Let me lay out my argument under 6 major categories:

PART 1

The Rescuer

It shouldn’t be lost on anyone that the first time we encounter Gambit is in Uncanny X-Men (1990) #266-267 when he saves a de-aged, amnesiac Ororo Munroe (aka Storm, aka Lil’ Ro) from the Shadow King’s hounds. The Gambit we meet may be a smoking, drinking, hard-living thief better suited to a dark noir storyline, but he lets that gritty exterior slip just enough to show us the heart of gold underneath. He saves Lil’ Ro who becomes his lifelong friend and, impressed with his skill and heroism, introduces him to the X-Men.

But this isn’t the first time we see Gambit save a child. In fact, he has a pretty long history of saving children in comic books.

In Gambit (1999) #6, Remy rescues the young mutant boy, Shirow Ishihara, from his own childhood nemesis, The Pig, assuring the kid that his nightmares will fade and he will heal from this trauma.

We also see Gambit’s original introduction mirrored in his Ultimate X-Men universe introduction (2003) #13, when we meet Remy as a young homeless street performer who rescues an orphaned girl he dubs “Little One” from her parents’ killers.

Albeit not his best hour, during Messiah Complex (2007 Chapter 12/New X-Men #46) Remy rescues the mutant baby Hope right before Bishop is ready to outright murder her in cold blood. And even though he hands the baby over to Mystique in a desperate bid to save a dying Rogue, he also snatches her away the moment he understands the full extent of Mystique’s intentions. He is appalled that Mystique would harm a child and knows Rogue wouldn’t trade a baby’s life for her own. He isn’t willing to either.

Even during his very worst hour, The Mutant Massacre, Remy makes a heroic move in saving a single little Morlock girl from the violence – a child that later grows up to be Marrow (X-Men Origins: Gambit). In the late 90s era, Marrow - also known as Sarah, develops something of a crush on Remy, while Remy continues to harbor guilt over his involvement in the massacre and is protective of her because of it.

The Communicator

The Gambit we encounter in Uncanny X-Men #266 is a smooth talker from the start and when it comes to communicating with children he’s no exception. But rather than just being a hustle, you get the sense Remy LeBeau has some extra care and concern when kids are involved. We see this in his interactions with Lil’ Ro, Shirow, and Little One, but in other stories as well:

In X-Men Unlimited (1993) #8, Remy is one of two characters chosen to contact a teenage boy whose mutant powers have newly surfaced and convince him to join Xavier’s school.

During the Hunt for Xavier in X-Men (1999) #83, we encounter the young mutant girl, Nina, who the team rescues from Cerebrite Alpha thanks to Remy's gambit. Remy speaks with her gently and on her level to find out why she was being attacked.

Perhaps one of his strongest moments is in X-Men Unlimited (2004) #14, when Remy must help talk down a young Franklin Richards whose powers are raging out of control in his misdirected anger at Joseph, Magneto’s clone, shortly after the Onslaught storyline where the Fantastic Four appear to have been killed.

The Teacher

His easy way with kids comes in handy later during the abysmal Peter Milligan run on X-Men (2004) #171, when Havok puts Remy in charge of training a squad of young X-Men dubbed the Chevaliers with Roxanne Washington (aka Bling!) as their team captain.

There is also an incident from a less applauded Gambit run (2004) #10 where he teaches a group of younger boys some thieving tips. His teaching pays off, as the kids are able to fetch a disc of the infamous Lili Penrose incident before it ends up in Rogue’s hands. Ugh, 2004.

Though his teaching was limited to mostly combat training during his brief early stint leading the Chevaliers, later on during the years post-Schism including X-Men: Legacy (2008) #161-165, Wolverine and the X-Men (2011), and his own Gambit (2012) solo series, we find out that Remy has taken a position at the newly formed Jean Grey School as a senior staff member teaching actual class subjects including Intro to Art History and Sex Ed. And even though it’s definitely meant to be something of a joke, can you think of a more experienced and less judgmental character for teaching Sex Ed? I’m still annoyed we never actually got to see this on panel though.

(see PART 2 to continue)

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

Ok so guys i finally got part of it done(like three or four days later buuuut

I drew two sets of the families for my anxceit au!

Please meet virgil's family the Ravenwoods!

And as curtesy some info about them

Daneil Ravenwood

Hes been raising Virgil and Andy on his own since virge was about 8 and a half and andy was 6 months old

Hes a english and literature professor at the local college(that logan's parents also work at)

Hes in his late 50s early 60s current time( where virgil is 21 and andy is 13)

Hes also a published and well established fiction writer, but he writes under an alias

Hes a super supportive dad and teacher, even if he doesnt understand it he'll 100% support the decisions his kids make (ex: "oh your wiccan now? Cool virgy! Im glad you found a religion that makes you happy, though...can you explain it to me again?" "Oh andy you want to be switched to the art program? No problem! I'll call your counsellors tomorrow ok?" "Oh boyfriend huh? Thats great buddy, when do i get to meet him??")

Hes got a deep hearty laugh that makes you smile

Dad jokes to virgils mortification

Hes a skeptic but loves listening to and talking to virgil about his beliefs

had the philosophy of "the punishment should fit the crime, but you should be allowed to stumble and learn with it" raising the boys and wasnt too strict with them. Also never threatened punishments, only threatened playful embarrassment

The boys got their sass from somewhere, but he does remind them to mind their manners and watch their timing

Gentle giant as he is 6'3

Black hair peppered with grey and white and usually forgets tonshave his stubble

Passionate about his jobs, can get lost in his work

Andy Ravenwood

Virgil's baby brother, and he fucking adores his brother( even sometimes babbles about him to his friends at school and proudly talks about his "youtuber big brother"

This does not stop him from poking fun at virgil of course

Art boi!! Hes the top of his art classes!!

He is the one art kid that always has like three sketchbooks on him at all times

Loves the color purple

Look ok he knows he KNOWS his hair looks like his brothers it wasnt supposed to ok the original plan baCKFIRED AND HE COULDNT TURN BACK

Unlike virgil he doesnt cover his freckles

He has the same color eyes as their dad(grey-blue)

Andy loves animals! Especially raccoons!! Those are his favorite.( he happily took on the responsiblility of taking care of virgils cat when he moved out)

Hes a pretty cheerful kid if hes comfortable around you, but shy if he doesnt know you

Hes got an anxiety disorder but hes still living his best life

Virgil Ravenwood

Our main Cryptid goth( he dialed it down for the family photo)

Hes twenty one and lives on his own in an apartment complex close to downtown, which is a good 15 to 20 minutes from his childhood home so he visits regularly( like three times every other week)

Boi loves his family to bits, and has so SOOOO many good stories he’ll happily talk about 

Has both his own paranormal youtube channel and a joint youtube channel with his boyfriend Ethen where they explore and investigate haunted places(both well known and stumbled across)

He has the same eye color as their mother, blue violet, which stands out a little more than his dad’s or brother’s

He covers his freckles with foundation because hes insecure about them

Did a year of junior college before deciding school wasnt exactly for him anymore, but still goes to events for his best friend Logan

Works at a cafe downtown that stays open pretty late( they do dinner its almost a diner but not) part time, and the other half does youtube for a living

Has a cat that had to stay in his childhood home named Sally that Andy takes care of for him

Has been considering getting another cat for his apartment

Big firm believer in the unknown and the paranormal/supernatural

Hes wiccan and has an alter in his bedroom thats apart of his facecam background

He has a tarot deck but doesnt really do readings other than little ones for himself, as divination isnt his strong suit

Has a big crystal collection hes been adding to since high school

He can sing but doesnt have alot of confidence in his voice so he just doesnt

And also introducing~

The picani-sanders family! Aka ethen's big ol family

From left to right

Patton Picani

Ethen's older brother(by two years)

Him and ethen are emile's foster kids, but he adopted him when they were like nine and seven.

Patton is 23 and happily works at the library downtown as a librarian and a reader to the kids

He loves music and musicals and all things disney (partially thanks to his boyfriend roman)

He and Ethen come off as complete opposites and they have a very playful relationship, always teasing each other 

He loves his family alot and loves babysitting his little brother Thomas whenever his schedule allows it, especially during times of year Emile and Remy get swamped with work

He loves to knit and sew and make things!!! He makes sweaters and jackets and dresses and customizes clothes!! He could make a living on it if he really wanted!! (but he just does it for friends and loved ones instead- Andy has a hoodie that Patton sew wool on the inside to keep him warm and Andy adores it)

Hes really outgoing and friendly and seems to make friends wherever he goes! 

He’s known Roman since they were kids and was crushing on him all through school until they got together senior year 

He loves to bake and cook and help his dad make dinner whenever hes at home

Hes a sappy romantic and loves cliches

He has a huge collection of stuffed animals that hes been slowly transferring to his and roman’s apartment since he moved out(theres ALOT)

Emile Picani

The dad!! Hes in his mid 50s 

He works as a singular and couples therapist  and can have a bit of a wacky schedule

Hes been raising Patton and Ethen since they were little and loves his kids so damn much

So goddamn supportive of what they do, sometimes to the point its embarrassing(for Ethen)

Hes engaged to Remy Sanders and once their married their just going to combine their last names

He loves cartoons and gardening! And has his own collection of stuffed animals and toys(which hes been sharing with Thomas) 

He loves making dad jokes and him and Patton make them all the time at Ethen

Hes a damn great cook and has been teaching his boys to cook for years now, and loves making big meals 

Not really a strict parent, more of a sit down and talk it out kinda parent

Is part of the PTA of Thomas’s school

Actually used to be a punk in school

Thomas Sanders-Picani

The youngest! Hes 8 years old!

Our boy loves to read and write! He writes tons and tons of stories!

Hes got a huge imagination and likes to daydream

Hes bubbly even though he isnt the most social he still has a good group of friends!

Our lil boi is an actor of course! He loves getting parts in the school plays and in class assignments.

Hes in his schools choir  and gets vocal lessons from Roman’s mama

 His room is filled with toys and books and notebooks and pencils, and even though he tries his best to keep it clean it gets messy every week.(cleaning it is his weekly chore)

He has two best friends named Joan and Talyn that hes been friends with now since kindergarden and theyve been nearly inseperable ever since, its not uncommon for one of both of them to be at each others house on any given weekend

Hes Remy’s kid but has started calling himself by Emile’s last name too since they moved in with the Picani’s

Doesnt have too many memories of his mother but the ones he does have are all happy and pleasant(thankfully)

Calls Emile baba and Remy dada to distinguish them better

Loves his older brothers especially when they play with him, He also loves watching the old videos of Ethen’s theater performances and sometimes pesters him to reenact scenes from them( his favorite is the middle school production of ‘Alice in Wonderland’)

Ethen Picani

Our other main boy, hes also twenty one

He lives with his best and childhood friend Remus Prince in two bedroom apartment across town near the college

Does youtube full time for a living

the “black sheep” of the family as he and Remus call him 

He majored in theater in his two years of college

Loves reptiles but doesnt have any because their apartment complex doesnt allow pets and he doesnt want to get him and remus kicked out since their apartment is close to Remus’s work

Has a car he loving refers to as his “hand me down junk heap” Because he got Patton’s first car when patton got a new one

He loves the old thing though 

Has a good relationship with his parents. He loves his dad Emile and he likes Remy well enough

Him and remy have a very casual, relaxed relationship.( Ex: “ Dad you need to stop letting sleepless bums into the house” “ He’ll stop doing that when he stops letting punk wannabes into his kitchen, now get over here kid.” ) 

Loves his boyfriend Virgil to death and likes to spoil him when he can(even though virgil tells him to save his money for rent)

Hes more of a open skeptic but he’ll happily debate things with Virgil, and enjoys making videos for their joint youtube channel and being proven otherwise

He also has his own solo youtube channel where he does abandon urban exploration( sometimes with Remus tagging along for the thrill)

Remus has been calling him by the nickname “Dee” since middle school when they played Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Remus called him Dee so often he made it stick as a nickname years and years later. He refuses to let it die and Ethen has just accepted his fate

Remy Sanders

Hes around Emile’s age( mid 50′s) and looks the tallest in the family at 6′3

He came into the family later, when the boys were about 20 and 18( when thomas was about 5 or so)

Hes pretty laid back but surprising good at being strict, so he balances out Emile’s parenting style

Hes a divorcee and got guardianship of Thomas, though hes on a friendly and civil relationship with thomas’s mother and takes him to visit her three times a month( theyre currently working out more visitations and possibly thomas staying with his mother a couple weeks every months but thats still in the works)

Hes an insomiac and (usually) works night shifts as a security guard for a security renting business so his working hours can be a little unpredicitble, but he almost always works at least two night shifts and graveyard shifts a week. Hes paid both a salary plus an additional commissions by employers so its well worth it

He spends as much time with his kid and the boys as he can regardless of his wonky sleep schedule

Hes a bit of a tough love kinda person, and hes snarky and mouthy and doesnt hesitate to speak his mind

Loves Emile soooo goddamn much he talks about him alot at work to his fellow security guards. Theyre the ones who helped him pick a ring when he proposed actually

Oh yeah the two are engaged did I mention that?

He fuels Emile’s plushie collecting, even if he knows he probably shouldnt( But oh well, it makes him smile and thats all he wants to see)

Looks punk now but he was the biggest straight laced prep in highschool that comparing him now to him in highschool gives you whiplash

Would fucking die for his family. No one messes with his fiance or his kids, he doesnt care if two of them are fully capable adults 

And its done!! Two of the four main families is finished!

And watch out because im also coloring these digitally(its just taking awhile :/) but those will be getting posted soon...I hope...Im trying

But here you go Virgil’s and Ethen’s families in two cute family photos!

Let me just add im so fucking proud of The Picani-Sanders photo because it was a struggle to fit them all in the picture and get the heights right and the entire side of my arm was grey with pencil lead by the time I was done but it turned out great!

Up next is Roman and Remus’s family the Princes and Logan’s family the Daniels!! 

Art references are credited to @the-pastel-peach​ @aimasup​ and @underdog-arts​ , especially @aimasup​ and @underdog-arts​ for getting 8 year old thomas to look like a kid because im not normally good at drawing little kids but after practicing with some of their art as my reference and inspiration he turned out really well!! 

I hope you guys enjoy!!

Taglist

@phantommoonpeople

@sweetsweetemo

@leesacrakon

@amazable01

@starbucks-remy

@jemthebookworm

@max-is-tired

@seriously-a-dragon

@sar-kasstic

@soupspam

@aimasup

@sugarglider9603

@underdog-arts

@strawberryjellystuff

[greenninjagal-blog]

White Lily Guardian (pt2)

Summary: Virgil shows up at a funeral for his distance cousin, but someone forgot to tell him Remy named him the next-in-line guardian of his son Thomas. And taking care of a kid might just been the least of Virgil’s problems when Thomas’s (unpleasant) grandmother is in the mix.

Words: 3035

Part One

Featuring: Virgil, kid!Thomas, Emile Picani, and mentions of the dreaded dragon witch and best dad!remy (along with a car crash)

Taglist: @background-noise-headache @prplzorua @pumpkinminette @puns-and-patton 

General Taglist: @felicianoromano @jemthebookworm

“I’m sorry you had to find out this way,” Picani says, with a hint was resentment in his tone, about an hour after Madam Hydrus had removed herself from the property.

Virgil doesn’t say anything, but he agrees with the older man so much its nearly overwhelming. His mind is alarmingly quiet, his shoulders hunched in anticipation for the onslaught of pure, unadulterated panic he knows is coming: it feels a lot like he’s walking right next to a cliffside with a blindfold on—why is he doing this, why can’t he just take the blind fold off, why can’t he just walk away? Or better yet, why can’t he just fall already?

Then Picani will see that he is unfit to be a parent and he’ll be able to move Thomas to the next family member Remy picked out, someone who isn’t that awful snakelike lady that had made Thomas cry so hard. Thomas doesn’t deserve this, any of it.

He didn’t deserve to have his father taken away so suddenly, to have all these people look down on him with pity, to have someone who terrifies him very nearly take him away. He certainly doesn’t deserve to have someone as awful as Virgil come through and try to make up for everything he lost.

Virgil doesn’t even know what kind of person Remy was, much less what kind of dad. Was he the kind that wanted to be involved in every aspect of Thomas’s life? Did he bake cookies in the kitchen and show up to the PTA meetings and brag about how amazing Thomas was until every other parent hated him? Or was he a recluse? Did he let Thomas come to him with questions rather than go asking for them and never respond to teacher emails or show up to meetings because he knew everything that was important about Thomas already?

Virgil looks down at Thomas, who was tucked into his chest. Virgil is by no means the type of guy who works out, but even then, he can still carry Thomas from the front lawn into the house with only a mild amount of strain (Did Remy carry him like that? Oh, fuck, what if he was carrying the kid wrong?). The house is strangely quiet, and tense and the same feeling settles over them like a knife poised just between Virgil’s shoulder blades. Even Thomas’s sobs become breathless hiccups. Picani motions Virgil to follow him up the stairs and he’s struck by the strange amount of familiarity that the man has for this place.

Who was he again?

A lawyer of some sort? Someone who had access to Remy’s will at least.

Virgil doesn’t remember the upstairs of the house, which is really no surprise. He’d never dare exploring a house that wasn’t his even as an adult. There was something about it that his shoulders tense, waiting for someone to pop out of the rooms and ask him what he was doing. Even with Picani leading the way and Thomas in his arms, Virgil could feel the walls judging him.

There are pictures on the walls, but Picani doesn’t bother turning on the lights and its too dark to see what they are. Somehow that doesn’t help Virgil’s anxiety much.

They come to a room which Picani pushes open and turns on the light. Virgil hesitates to follow. He’s not sure why, because the room is far more inviting than the dark, dreary hallway. Thomas buries his head into Virgil’s shoulder, and it’s a little uncomfortable but he can’t bring himself to complain about it.

Inside the room it’s warm—in all senses of the word. Virgil feels like he stepped into a sauna the second his shoes slip through the doorway. It surprises him, slightly, because he hadn’t realized how cold he was until then. Beside that, its decorated like a kid’s paradise: action figures from several cartoons all over the place—some of which Virgil vaguely remembers from years and years ago with a tiny smile—poster from video games and Disney, and a coffee table had construction papers, glitter, and glue. Picani quickly walks to a rather large wooden desk (decorated in children’s crayon drawings of houses and dogs and blobs that probably meant something to a kid somewhere) and rifles through a stack of papers on the top of it.

When he turns back around, he’s holding a packet of papers that makes Virgil’s insides a little squeamish; it looks like a every instructional manual Virgil has ever been handed. Was this “How To Tell When Someone Is an Unfit Parent for Dummies”? Because Virgil could save them both time and just announce to him that he was the least fit person to be taking care of a kid. He had come to the funeral in a rented suit because he didn’t have one himself, there’s still paint on his knuckles that he couldn’t wash off in time for the service, and he forgets to eat at least twice a day.

Virgil’s childhood was limited to the tabulations of his parents’ moods towards him, but even he knows that he couldn’t take care of a small living human being when he could barely take care of himself most days. It isn’t fair to Thomas.

“Oh, uh,” Picani says, and vaguely motions to a couch that was decorated in handmade quilts, “You can, uh, set him down.”

Virgil feels more than stupid as he shuffles towards the couch and juggles the armful of Thomas that he has in order to set him on the couch. Especially when Thomas doesn’t let go of him and instead tightens his arms around Virgil’s neck.

“Don’t!” Thomas gasps between his hiccups.

“Thomas—” Virgil says softly, “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right next to you.”

He shakes with his whole body, and for a long moment Virgil worries that Thomas will never let him go again and they’ll be stuck together like a parasite and it’s host.

“Promise?” Thomas’s voice cracks Virgil’s heart right in half. He can feel the shards of it puncturing his lungs.

“How about this, you can hold my hand while we sit, okay?” Virgil suggests even though his own skin feels feverish and his neck itches where Thomas’s wrists had pressed against him. He can’t remember the last time he let someone touch him (it might have been Remy himself for all he knew).

Thomas’s arms move away, slowly, slowly, and then he buries his head in a blanket before Virgil can even see the tear tracks on his bright red cheeks. Virgil sits down right next to him and its only a second more before pudgy little kid fingers squeeze around his.

Virgil glances up at Picani to find the man watching the two of them with a painful smile. He wipes his eye with the sleeve his dress jacket and resets his glasses with a deep breath.

“I’m really sorry you had to find out this way.” He says again. “Remy was going to contact you this weekend to ask your permission, but he insisted that he needed it written legally sooner than that.”

“Why?” Virgil asks and even he isn’t sure what he means. Why did Remy choose him? Why didn’t Remy tell him sooner? Why did Remy get it legal written down in his will before he asked? Why was Virgil so scared right now?

Picani sighs heavily. He taps two fingers on the packet. “I wish I knew, Mr. Quies.”

Virgil flinches at the use of his last name. He never uses it if he can help it; too many bad memories growing up as part of the Quies family. He never fit in with them, never quite lived up to be anything other than a disappointment for his parents, never enjoyed the way it rolled of so many people’s tongues in a derogatory manner. When he had moved out—and away—he had started using the surname Storm. Virgil Storm sounded better, and it didn’t come with emotional baggage.

Virgil makes a noise in the back of his throat, somewhere between clearing it and trying to say something but not knowing what. He glances at Thomas.

“Picani—”

“Emile, actually, if you please,” He says with a wince.

“Emile,” Virgil corrects himself, “I don’t—Remy and I—I can’t….” He twists his bangs out of his face just to do something with his hand. The man in the half lenses waits patiently for Virgil to articulate himself. “I’ve never taken care of a kid.”

Thomas squeezes his hand tightly. Virgil thinks he lost feeling in two fingers, but he doesn’t try move.

“I’m not the best fit for Thomas’s caretaker. I didn’t even know Remy. We talked one time when we were kids. Are you sure it was me on that will and not someone else?”

Emile leans back against his desk, still careful not to crush any of the drawings. “I’m honestly not sure I’m the right person to ask. Remy and I were good friends, but even then we didn’t talk about everything. When he announced that he was changing his will to remove me as Thomas’s next-in-line guardian I thought it was a joke--”

Virgil’s stomach drops out at the comment. He feels sick again, the rolling nausea sweeping over him like a wave. That sounded right—all of it sounded right. Virgil didn’t know why someone would joke about that, but Remy had to have been joking because Emile was a well put together man, who Thomas knew better than he knew Virgil.

“Thank goodness it wasn’t.” Emile continues, much like a wrecking ball to the train of thought in Virgil’s head. It leaves his ears ringing.

“What?”

This time Emile looks at him with those dark eyes, “I love Thomas. I really do. But I can’t be his caretaker. I’d lose him.”

“Lose him?” Virgil repeats, remembering every time his parents had forgotten him at the supermarket or in the mall and the weekends were he just didn’t go home and no one was suspicious of it.

“Yes, um,” He fixes his glasses, “Due to a few infractions of the law in my childhood, I can’t legally adopt a child. I can run a therapist office,” He waves a hand around the room, “but I can’t have one of my own. Especially not Thomas.”

Virgil isn’t entirely unsure of what to make of that comment. First off Emile Picani looks a lot like a single breeze might knock him down, and the way he had shriveled up at the sight of Madam Hydrus wasn’t helping his case. However, he was also admitting that he at some point broke several laws? Laws that prevented him from taking care of a kid?

But this was Thomas.

“Madam Hydrus,” Emile says lightly. He picks up a figurine of Ursula from his desk and considers it. “She is Thomas’s mother’s mother. Extremely high class. Had she found out her daughter and Remy had been a thing back from Thomas’s birth, she undoubtedly would have put a stop to it. Her daughter—Thomas’s mother and Remy’s girlfriend at the time—died in childbirth due to a complication. Remy took it hard. Madam Hydrus took it harder.”

Emile sets the figurine back down. “She has been trying to gain custody of Thomas since his birth, declaring Remy an unfit parent. Every other week she had lawyers harassing them. I’m not sure what Thomas’s mother told Remy about her, but Remy refused to let her see him, refused to leave his son’s side when the woman was anywhere near.

“I believe her intention was to keeping sending lawyers in an attempt to run Remy out of money. When he no longer could support a child the judge would have to rule in her favor. However, Remy was a business major who knew how to maintain and predict the stock market.” Emile pauses, “That’s how we met actually. I asked him to help me learn the stock market. I’m a terrible student. But Remy tried, so hard. He was a good person. He really was. When my landlord kicked me out, he immediately offered me a few spare rooms here as long as I paid rent.”

Virgil nods, the sick feeling in his stomach bubbling. Beside him Thomas shifts again, quiet, oh-so-quiet. The warmth of the room makes his dress shirt collar stick to his neck.

“When Thomas turned three, Remy asked me to take guardianship of Thomas should anything happen to him. He was paranoid that Madam Hydrus would get tired of sending lawyers and might escalate to sending not-so-polite people. He wanted to make sure that if he did pass unexpectedly there would be someone else lined up to take in Thomas that was not Madam Hydrus.”

Virgil tenses, “What?”

“He—”

“Are you saying Madam Hydrus paid someone to kill Remy?” Virgil says. Oh, and there’s the panic: his foot has slipped off the steady edge of the metaphorical cliff and Virgil is free falling to his death. His lungs feel two sizes too small for his chest, and all the oxygen in the world doesn’t seem to be able to fill them. He rips his hand from Thomas’s and claws at his collar, struggles with the tie that is acting as a noose around his neck.

Remy was dead—Remy was dead because Madam Hydrus had him killed. Madam Hydrus was the same woman that Virgil just told off and then announced he would be taking in Thomas. What was stopping her from having him killed? Virgil was going to end up dead. By this time next week Virgil would be decorated with white lilies and people would be standing in his living room talking about how sad it was that he was gone.

“Mr. Quies! Virgil!” Emile is suddenly by kneeling by his side, “Virgil I need you to breathe with me. Breathe—In, yes hold it! Out….”

Virgil’s had panic attacks before. They normally leave him curled in the corner of his apartment with his own nails clawing through his hair, and his chest aching from too short of breaths. It’s another reason why he’s not fit to be a parent, because how can he take care of a kid when he can suddenly shut down like this. What if there was an emergency and Virgil wasn’t able to protect Thomas?

“In….” Emile says again, and Virgil strains to force his lungs to follow the instruction. “hold….Out….”

It takes a few minutes to calm him back down. It feels like hours. Actually the whole day has felt like eternity, drawing on and on and on. Virgil is suddenly aware that Emile in kneeling in front of him, speaking soothing words that mean absolutely nothing to him.

Thomas…

Virgil glances to his left where the kid had been, fully expecting Thomas to have bolted the second Virgil started acting weird. But he didn’t. Thomas is sitting there beside him, watery eyes and a nose fully of snot that he wipes on his arm.

“Dad… does that too,” Thomas says, between the sniffles.

Oh good, Virgil shares exactly one thing with Remy and it’s his panic attacks.

“Thomas,” Emile says quietly, “Can you grab a cup of water?”

Virgil has half a mind to tell them he doesn’t need a cup of water (He needs to have a chat with Remy and ask him what the hell he was thinking), but Thomas is already up and dashing out of the room. Virgil sinks back into the couch.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Quies—”

“Virgil.” He rasps out because the name is causing him to flinch and he doesn’t have the energy to suppress it anymore. “Virgil, or Storm, or anything that isn’t that name.”

“Virgil,” Emile nods like it isn’t weird at all, “That was my fault. I wasn’t paying attention to my words. Madam Hydrus did not so anything…illegal. The police found no sign of foul play. Remy was driving on too little sleep and he slid off the road, into a tree.”

Which Virgil had read all about in the obituaries online during the flight here. Which he knew was the truth. Which didn’t stop the feeling in his gut from twisting over and over like some mutant alien parasite.

“Remy was paranoid,” Emile says with a sad frown, “But he made up his mind. He wanted someone he trusted who didn’t have a record that Madam Hydrus could exploit in court.”

“Am I…the only one?” Virgil asks.

Emile makes a face that tells him the answer. Of course, he is. That’s why they’re having this conversation. That’s why it’s Virgil’s name on the will and not anyone else’s.

“He left you most of his finances,” Emile says, “As long as you agree to take care of Thomas.”

“I am the least fit person to take care of any kid, Emile,” Virgil reiterates because all the money in the world won’t change that fact.

Thomas scoots back into the room, with a bathroom cup of water that he’s trying very hard no to spill. He gives it to Virgil, before climbing up on the couch next to him again. Before Virgil knows what he’s doing he runs his hand through Thomas’s hair, and the kid almost flops into him.

Emile watches the entire thing with a miniscule smile on his lips.

“I beg to differ, Virgil,” He says, “I think you are the most fit person.”

Virgil isn’t sure what it is about the other man, about the room, about Thomas, but sitting there, exhausted out of his mind, he thinks that Emile isn’t entire right (because after all Remy was the best person to take care of his kid), but Virgil might just be willing to try.

“I’ll get in contact with Remy’s lawyers.” Emile promises.

Virgil nods to show that he heard, but all he can really focus on is the softness of Thomas hair and the weight of the kid on his shoulder. He sinks back into the couch.

“You should get some sleep.”

Virgil is way ahead of him.

[rk7puffinhuff]

I’m fine part 1

A/N

Hey guys!!! I am so glad to see that people like this!!! I actually didn’t realize that I didn’t put part 1 on it so this means there is going to be a part 2... I am not sure how many parts it will actually be but you know what lets just do this. 

p.s. this is actually supposed to be a one shot but my brain had other plans... hope you guys like this!!!

Remus Lupin x reader

mentions of James Potter x reader

Summary: y/n is a hufflepuff prefect that is Remus’ childhood friend. James then took an interest on y/n and dated her without Remus’ noticing. One day James broke it off with y/n, broke her heart, left her for Lily. Remus’ finds y/n with puffy red eyes but still smiling (trying to hide the fact that she was broken). 

Warning: angst, James being a jerk, fluff, James starting to regret leaving y/n, James being a little jealous, Remus being a alpha male(lol), Remus being over propective of y/n, y/n being such a hufflepuff, someone being a animagus secretly

________________________________________________________________

Remus’ POV

I was walking down the hall at night for prefect duties when I heard quite sobs. I followed the sad sounds and found my friend... my y/n... crying. 

“y/n?” she was startled and sniffled and turned around with a smile on her face. She was trying to hide the fact that I caught her crying. I began to think of reasons for her tears ‘was it a boy??’ ‘she was looking awfully flustered the past few weeks’ ‘whoever that bastard is they’ll pay’ my jaw clenched and my heart pained to see my childhood best friend with puffy red eyes and a smile to hide her pain away. 

“hi, how are you??” she said softly her voice croaking . Instead of replying I took her hand and pulled her into a tight embrace. She tensed up a bit and hugged back. She loves hugs, I then felt her sobbing on my chest. My heart ached, I began whispering sweet nothings into her ear. Just like how she did to me when I needed someone, this time it’s my turn to comfort and be a shoulder to cry on. ______flashback______

I was behind a tree looking down crying. The other kids did not want to play with me, they did not want to be my friend because I’m hideous. I look like a monster.... no, I am a monster... I continuously beat  myself up when I heard a soft voice “Hello...” I looked up, it was a girl.

She saw my face but she didn’t run, she didn’t scream, she didn’t look scared. Instead she smiled... ‘she is probably here to make fun of me and call me a monster...’ I thought to myself 

“GO AWAY!!!” I screamed at her. She didn’t move, but her eyes started to water. “I-I’m sorry... I just” “I just wanted to be your friend... I ju- just wanted to play with you..” her tears flowed continuously. I was shocked... I made her cry not because she was scared of me. She wanted to be my friend and I ruined it...

“I-I’m sorry... I just thought yo-you hate me... I thought you will call me a monster like all of them.” I said sniffling looking down. I heard her calm down. The next thing I know I was pulled into a tight embrace... it felt nice, comfy. I hugged her back, burying my face in the crook of her neck, crying. I felt my hair being stroked softly... she started whispering in my ear “don’t cry, you’re not a monster” “you’re not scary, I’d love to be your friend...” she said comfortingly. 

“Is it because of your scars??” she asked. I flinched under her touch. She pulled away “is it??” she asked again. I nodded my head in reply. She then sat down, so I did the same. “Ya know.. I think they’re awesome!!” she exclaimed. I looked at her with a confused face. “My mom said that if someone has scars that means they went through something brave!!” “So now I believe that people with scars are Heroes. My mom agreed with me as well.” she explained. 

I looked at her for a moment. I thought about what she said. “I’m y/n by the way... what’s your name??” “Remus... my name is Remus.” I replied with a smile 

________end of flashback_________

She did the exact same thing for years. Whenever I doubted myself, whenever I beat myself up, whenever I needed someone, she was there. She was my first ever friend, she never left my side. Not even when we got sorted into different houses and found our own groups of friends. y/n was genuinely kind... everyone in Hogwarts knows that. No one, not even the Slytherins can hate her, that’s how great she is. 

Unlike James, Sirius, and Peter she doesn’t know about my lycanthrophy. She never found out, and I never told her. I’m scared that she’ll hate me, be afraid of me, I don’t want to lose her. So I decided, until I’m ready... she can’t know.

‘Who would ever do this to her?’ the thought ran repeatedly in my head. I pulled away to look at her face. I wiped the tears from her face and cupped her cheeks. I kissed her forehead and enveloped her again in a hug.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~time skip~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I brought y/n to her dorms last night. She never told me the reason behind her tears. It bugged me all night. I didn’t want to seem pushy and nosy so I decided to not ask. She’ll tell me when she’s ready. I walked down the halls, on my way to the great hall for breakfast.

I looked over to the Gryffindor table to see Lily and James snogging!!! my eyes widened at the sight I walked and stood close to the lovebirds. I cleared my throat seeing as they did not notice me. “Oh Mo-moony hey... didn’t see you there.” James stuttered. I raised my eyebrow at them while Lily looked down at her food, her face as red as her hair, and James scratching his neck trying to avoid my gaze. “James when did this happen??” I asked, James was about to answer when a felt a hand on my shoulder “Give them a break Moony... besides it happened yesterday” Sirius said “Yeah Moony, you weren’t there but Lily finally said yes... even though James didn’t ask this time.” Peter filled in with the details.

We were talking more about this new relationship going on. I looked back to the hufflepuff table to see if y/n was there with her usual smile, she wasn’t there. “Who are looking for Moony?? your girlfriend??” Sirius jokingly asked. I denied it while Peter and Sirius kept bugging me about it, while James and Lily snogged at the other side of the table. “She is not my girlfriend, alright, she is my best friend, she cried last night... I was hoping to find out why...” I said. “ooh seems like Moony has a crush~~~” Sirius teased. 

I looked at my right only to see a couple of feet away my bestfriend, tearing up, petrified at the sight. She didn’t seem to be looking at my way so I followed her gaze. My eyes landed at James and Lily smiling at each other, I furrowed my eyebrows at the situation. I was confused, I looked back at y/n who was now sniffling with tears rolling down her cheeks. I stood up to approach y/n and get her out of the great hall. As I stood up James did as well, I looked at him and his face was filled with guilt and a hint of regret. ‘why?’ I asked myself. “y/n...” James called I looked back y/n and she looked petrified, then she ran out of the great hall. James took off after her calling out her name and asking her to stop. 

What just happened... I didn’t understand why would he call her out and go after her. I didn’t know why y/n cried while looking at James and Lily... I was so confused that I couldn’t move.

y/n’s POV

I was running, and running, and running faster as I heard someone call out my name. I dodged students and obstacles with ease, saying excuse me, sorry, and hey at the same time. I ran as fast as I can but it wasn’t enough. I knew he had long legs and he is gonna catch up to me in a few... I need a distraction.

 I ran and looked around. I saw Prof Flitwick with a bunch of papers in hand. I might regret this later but I’m gonna fix it after I ruin it, and I sure Prof will understand. I ran really close to him murmuring a spell under my breath towards his direction and papers shot through the air. I jumped to avoid a box on the corridor floor. Everything went fast I murmured a spell to fix Prof Flitwick and his papers up and at the same time turned into my animagus form. 

“Professor are you okay?? sir??” I heard his voice ask meaning to say that I lost him and my plan worked. I left the scene as a White Wire fox terrier. I walked on all fours until I encountered Prof Mcgonagall. She knew that I was an animagus... an unregistered animagus. She helped me become one as soon as I found out that Remy had lycantrophy. She ‘advised’ me to not register, for very acceptable reasons. I have been watching over Remus for 4 years now, I found out first year, researched and started to learn at the same year and fully transformed the summer before my 2nd year. I also know about the marauders and their names. 

But I don’t think becoming animagus was enough to help my best friend. So I started talking to Professor Slughorn about Wolfsbane potions. My friend Severus has been helping me brew it, he was skeptical on why but I said Im doing it for charity. I think he believed me... I followed Prof Mcgonagall as she discretely told me to follow her.  

Jame’s POV

“Professor Flitwick!!! are you okay??” I asked the Professor whose papers that burst into the air a while ago go back into his hands... what happened?? I remember running after her... ‘y/n...’ I looked around only to find that she was nowhere to be seen. I left the Prof since he seems to be fine. I walked towards the direction y/n was running to. I searched for her but I had no luck. 

‘y/n,’ her name repeatedly running through my head. Her smiles that I remember, the sound of her laughter when I say a joke, the red tint on her cheeks when I say something only to make her flustered and embarrassed. My mind ran through my happy bright memories with her. My thoughts then slowly turned grey and blue remembering the sight at breakfast...  her face, which I always see looking radiantly bright always with a smile on, had tears rolling down her cheeks. She looked like she didn’t get any sleep at all. She looked depressingly sad and the look on her face broke my heart.

I felt a pang of guilt and heartache... ‘I caused those tears’ I thought. It was true I caused her the pain that she is currently feeling. Maybe I regret it... I walked to my first class knowing the gang will bring my stuff. I walked the hallways with a unsettled feeling. All I know is that I am confused.

[mars-barssss]

Uh... college!au

“//Gotcha! Also, please request headcanon stuff if you want! It’s always open ^^

Roman Prince was a sophomore at Thompson University. He had barely gotten into the school, actually, but he didn’t like to admit it often.

He working to get a degree in art.

He had gotten in because of all of his effort. He wasn’t the smartest, exactly, but he had ideas; he was good at writing. And theater.

With enough letters to the school, he made it in eventually.

A year above him, was a junior named Logan. Logan Croft.

Everyone always says he was a try-hard. Or at least, he was probably the most intelligent kid at that school.

Either way, no one could ever beat him at all. Not in anything. (Besides probably sports, he seemed weak.)

Roman wanted to meet the infamous person, but something more important came up.

One of the dorm rooms near Roman’s flooded, causing the entire floor of students to have to relocate to other dorms or floors.

Roman ended up a few floors up, with a roommate!

-----

He didn’t know who he was expecting when he went into the room, but it wasn’t what he found.

In the room he was assigned to, was a boy with messy dark hair. He was wearing a pale yellow varsity jacket, and a gray beanie.

The moment Roman stepped inside, the figure faced in his direction, avoiding showing his entire face.

“Yes? Are you the guy who was coming to room with me?” He looked done with Roman already, and that kind of frustrated the proud one.

He nodded briefly, and now Roman could see that the person was holding an electric guitar. The person had turned back to it, inspecting it.

“Good. Was wondering when you’d show up. Your room’s on the right, at the end, past Patton’s Room.”

Patton? Who was Patton? Roman was only informed of one roommate, not two. “Who’s Patton?”

“Our other roommate. Nice kid, freshman.” He shrugged slightly, and he turned his face all of the way towards him, finally. Roman’s breath got caught in his throat.

This guy had a huge burn on the left side of his face. It was scarred from his forehead to his chin, and a bit on his neck. It looked like an old scar.

Despite Roman’s staring, the guy didn’t seem like he judged him for it. “Name’s Damion.”

“R-Roman. Y-Your face-!”

“Yup. Really not a big deal if you ask me. It’s not like I’ve had it my entire life or anything.” Damion’s tone changed, hinting towards Roman to drop the conversation. “You’re a theater kid, right?”

“How did you know?”

“The way you walk. Trust me. It’s obvious.” Damion gets up, strapping the guitar around his shoulder. “I’m heading out. Remy’s gonna be here any minute.” He tosses a key at the prince’s face. “There’s the key to the dorm. Office hasn’t given me another key yet for you. Let me in when I knock. Don’t want it to get lost during practice.”

And with that, Damion left the dorm, leaving Roman to explore.

The dorm wasn’t anything incredible. It was a bit messy, there was a terrarium in the corner, near the messy kitchen. Some parts were cleaner than others, as if the two other roommates had a system, but only one really cleaned.

He took a moment to glance into the terrarium. It held a small, cute-looking snake. There was a name tag on the glass, reading, “Bo”.

A single glance into Patton’s room told a whole different story than the rest of the dorm. Pictures of probably friends and family littered the walls, and there were several painting and pictures of cats and dogs. There were also a lot of pet-themed items, and details. It felt almost like a child’s room, but it was surprisingly decorated and cleaned out like an adult’s.

There were also fairy lights.

When he entered his own room, he realized just how empty it was. It felt like there were stuff there originally, but it was all torn-down in a rush.

Placing his suitcase and boxes of stuff into the room, he slowly began to unpack.

-----

It took about four hours, but he had gotten most of his items out and on the walls and desk.

By then, an unlocking sound rung out from the door. Roman rushed out slightly, seeing another boy enter the apartment. And another.

Both of them were unfamiliar.

The first one turned around, and spotted Roman, and practically bounced up and down. He ran over, closing the distance between him and Roman in seconds.

He had curly, short, light brown hair. Large rose-colored glasses, and a small gray sweater tied around his shoulders.

“I’m Patton-! You must be the new roommate! I’m so excited to meet you!” Patton bounces like a puppy in front of Roman, who nods and flushes slightly at the attention.

Immediately, Roman wanted to protect this boy with his life. But he didn’t even know if he was gay! So he just sat there, smiling at him.

The other boy who had entered with Patton shifted awkwardly near the door, eyeing him. Roman flushed under the stare, looking away for a moment, before focusing. After some coaxing from himself, he stared right back at the boy, as if to assert any dominance.

Patton noticed.

“Oh! That’s Virge! Or well, uh, Virgil! He’s my best friend, so please don’t try to fight.” He laughs gently. “Dee already causes so many fights with Remy, it’s already enough to deal with.”

Virgil waved slightly at Roman, the glare between them continued. Patton then tried to brush off the glaring contest, by changing the conversation.

“I’m going to make dinner! You both get relaxed-!”

Patton bounces off, leaving the two of them in the room alone.

“Hey.” God, could this guy be any more emo?

Virgil was wearing this dark eye shadow beneath his eyes which just made him look like a raccoon. He also wore this black and gray hoodie, with plaid sleeves.

He also had awfully large headphones.

“Uh hey. Guess Patt already explained, didn’t he?”

“Yeah. You go to the school?” Great conversation.

“Oh, uh actually no. Never had enough money for tuition here. I met Patt over there,” He gestures towards the kitchen. “when I was at this coffee shop.”

“Ah. My uh, brother didn’t manage to come here like I did either. So yeah.” This conversation is so awkward. Roman, why... “Didn’t like his ideas. Only had enough tuition for me or him.”

Their death glares continued, although it had an awkward feeling to them now.

When Patton came in, Roman noticed something pretty quickly. This kid, Virgil, was crushing really hard on Patton. It was freaking blatant.

Virgil seemed too interested in everything Patton had to say.

Virgil seemed at a loss of words most of the time.

For as much as that kid was trying to be cool, he apparently fell hard for people he liked. Or maybe just Patton?

Either way, they finished dinner, and Virgil waved goodbye.

They managed one topic for common ground during that time. Disney.

Which surprised Roman, cause why would someone like him like Disney??

-----

It’s been a few months now.

Patton was waiting for Roman outside of his class, fumbling with his own binders.

“Roman! Come on, we have to meet up with Virgil!”

Roman had his mind on something else that day, however. He overheard about Damion’s friend’s party that night. He was always one to try to party, and seeing Virgil wasn’t exactly his best night out.

The emo nightmare could wait.

“Sorry, I’ve got a play rehearsal tonight! I’ll see ya at the dorm, padre!”

“Oh! Oh uh, okay. See ya!” Roman swore he saw Patton’s smile twitch slightly. It was still there, just weaker. Patton probably thought he didn’t see it.

Roman felt guilty as he drove himself over to Remy’s apartment.

Damion was waiting at the front, calling him over.

The party was HUGE.

And crowded as hell.

And LOUD.

Remy, Damion’s friend, greeted them both as they entered. He was holding a cup of beer, and went back to dancing.

At first, Roman could hold himself together in the environment. It was almost natural, he was a natural leader and dramatic person, so of course!

But halfway through the night, he spotted a familiar face.

Virgil was in the corner, downing a cup of beer, before throwing it away.

Then, he just went back to the corner.

Texting somebody, probably Patton.

Why was he here? He didn’t seem like one to party, not often anyways. He seemed always so nervous in crowds.

That’s when Remy approached the social outcast.

Remy burst into a smile at seeing the other person, and he was spitting out words as they came. Roman could see Virgil quietly nodding, with a few words here or there.

He was still visibly uncomfortable.

As Roman tried to watch, his eyes met Virgil’s, which startled Roman. He looked away, but that just ended up causing himself to run into someone else. And it slowly got worse, and eventually beer ended up on a girl’s shirt.

Roman rushed to escape the embarrassment, going to the rooftop.

A single person was there, leaning against the railing.

Roman knew him. It was Damion.

He wasn’t holding any sort of cup like the others. He was just looking up at the stars. He turned abruptly when Roman took a step.

A single tear was still lingering on his face, as Roman moved closer.

It ran across his old burns as he wiped it away.

“Dee?”

“What. I’m fine.”

“Y-You’re crying-”

“YOU DON’T THINK I CAN TELL-?! I-... I’m not sorry.”

“Dee, please-”

“Ro, I don’t want to talk about it.”

Roman still was stubborn, leaning beside Damion, his eyes looking up at the stars too.

“Then do you mind if I look at the stars with you?”

“...”

“...Y-... no, no I don’t mind.”

They sat on the rails, and Damion wiped his tears away. Roman didn’t have to know why now, but he just wanted to help his friend, in any way he could.

That night, Roman wasn’t sure if he had ever heard Damion that honest.

-----

It’s been a year, Logan had been over to their dorm a lot recently.

Apparently, he was a childhood friend of Patton’s.

And to Roman, he was freaking hot. But for some reason, he could say that about most of the people he had grown close with.

Why was he always a gay panic?!

Much like Damion, he loved the stars too.

But sadly, Roman didn’t know that side of him at first.

He just saw his emotionless, intelligent side. Which made him, well, not exactly like him.

He was too straight-forward! He had like, no fun!

But one day, he managed to see something new in him.

Patton had invited both Roman and Logan to the park. Which when they did, he mentioned about watching the sunset. It was apparently really good on the hill that it was on.

Logan seemed to be more relaxed around Patton, which was something that Roman noticed about him. He could make anyone fall for him, or relax around him. His mind briefly thought of the still-crushing edgelord.

When the sunset rolled along, Patton had to grab something from his car, leaving Mr. Perfect and Princey by themselves.

“... Roman, was it?”

“Uh, yeah? What’s up pocket protector?”

“Don’t call me that. I was wondering if you found the stars pleasant?”

“Just ask if I like stars.”

“I am? I don’t see what you mean.”

“You like, talk weird dude! You explain and weird people out. Talk normally!”

“Maybe I just prefer to speak like this on the terms of you.”

“Maybe, I just want to hear something I can understand!”

Logan looked away, seemingly indifferent. It just infuriated Roman more.

“Why don’t you ever act normal? You always seem to be stoic, l-like a robot!”

“I am NOT stoic.”

“Sounds like it though! Don’t school me, teach, I can see you.”

Logan’s head twists towards Roman, his expression unreadable.

Roman just wants to be perfect like him, and Logan just wants to be more understanding of emotions. They envy each other.

“I-... I am NOT a teacher!”

“You always sound like it though! Like, blah blah blah, I’m right, you’re-”

“Wrong.”

“That’s what I was gonna say, look at you, nerdy wolverine, playing along-”

“It’s not my fault that I can’t understand my own feelings, Roman-!”

That last sentence was blurted out, and judging by the face that Logan made, it wasn’t intentional.

“I... Never mind.”

“Logan...”

“You and Patton both understand everything a lot better than me, all of that stuff that I can’t explain. You guys can... can talk about that stuff, so don’t give me that. Everyone sees me as the smart kid. If I can’t even know about that stuff, If I’m not smart- what am I? What am I?!”

Roman’s mouth is agape, surprised. Logan’s face fell even further at the pause in the conversation, before Roman reached out to Logan’s arm, rubbing in small circles.

“You’re someone who loves stars. That’s one thing. You’re a nerd, but one that’s always geeking out over details in a story, who wants to write them, to inspire others. You help us, Logan.”

“You helped all of us. You make coffee for Virgil in the mornings, You keep Patton on track when he gets distracted, You teach me how to be better everyday, and I’m sure Damion is inspired by something.”

Logan held Roman’s hand while he spoke, focused on the blanket beneath them. Then, without any cues, he pulled Roman towards him, into an embrace that was slightly too tight.

When Logan pulled back, he nearly apologized, before Roman smiled at him, full-heartedly. He pulled him back, holding him close under the blue moonlight.

That night, the moon found two college kids in blue and red, curled beneath the stars. And the moon also found another college kid, crying, but smiling, in the moonlight at them.

In the moonlight, the moon would gossip that it saw the two kids kiss that night, but who knows, truly. They’d deny it.

-----

Several weeks later from that night, Roman had just reached the practice room for his play rehearsal.

He was early, so he was pretty surprised when he heard what sounded like a keyboard coming from the room.

He peeked inside, the notes of the keyboard were louder now.

Past the curtain, he saw... Virgil actually. Virgil was playing the keyboard, pretty well.

The keyboard was facing where an audience would be, on the stage.

But it wasn’t just the keyboard, Roman realized. He heard something else as well.

Virgil was singing.

Picking up some of the words, he learned that it was for Patton, probably? It was a love song, but it was original. And it’s lyrics just screamed Patton.

After Virgil finished his song, he did something strange, something Roman didn’t quite think he’d do.

He rose from his seat, and pressed a button on the keyboard, playing a preset set of notes that he must have played.

And he began to sing louder.

He began to move and dance on stage, as if he had rehearsed for this. As if he was an actor, and he was a one-man show.

It was a bit crappy in some regards, but it wasn’t bad. Especially since Roman hadn’t seen this side of him before.

Not once.

“Virgil...?”

The singing stalled, with a gasp filling the room. Moments later, the keyboard stopped playing music.

“You can sing?”

“N-not well, Roman what in the world are you doing in here?”

“Play rehearsal is starting in like... ten minutes. You were going to have an audience anyways, emo nightmare.”

Virgil eyed him, but shrugged off the nickname.

“Well, get on with everything Princey. I’ll be out of your hair.”

Virgil began to fold up the keyboard, and started to lift it, when-

“Wait.”

“W-What?”

“Put the keyboard back.”

Virgil’s eyes narrowed, but he hesitantly opened the legs of the keyboard again. Roman climbed onto the stage, confidently.

“What, can you play the keyboard, and you want to one-up me?”

“No, but, I can dance.”

Roman pressed the button that brought the music from earlier back. It gave a steady beat, and luckily, it changed a bit every so often. It wasn’t a bad song to dance to.

He backed away from the keyboard and danced for a few moments. When he finished, Virgil looked mildly... amused.

Wow, not the right reaction.

When Roman pouted, Virgil laughed, this beautiful laugh. And it made something in Roman’s heart twinge.

Raising his hand towards the anxious person, he winked.

“It’s a bit lonely on the stage here tonight...”

“What do you want me to do with that?”

“I heard from a little bird that you could dance?”

“I fear you- you heard wrong, Princey.”

“Oh? But that little birdy was called Patton, and I believe he doesn’t lie often, mi amor~!”

That set Virgil into a flustered mess immediately. 

“I’m kidding Virge. But not about the dancing. Come on, live a little-!”

“...”

“... Okay.”

The rest of those ten minutes were incredible. They stepped in beat, and danced until Roman heard another actor entering the building.

-----

“Roman, this won’t work.”

“How do you know specs?”

“I’ve known Patton for long enough, that he gets flustered too easily. This sounds like a you thing to do.”

“I mean it is, but sue me, alright?”

“I have an idea.”

“Throw it at me.”

“He can’t throw a-”

“I know specs. Chill. It’s figurative.”

“Listen up...”

They’d been planning this for a while. Virgil, the dumb*ss, wouldn’t in the world be confident enough to say anything, but he’s pining for Patton hard for a long time now.

And they needed to stop this impossible dance.

Damion thought that they both needed to be tricked into a date, so they could see!

Logan thought about giving them a set of things to do.

Roman wanted something super romantic.

(Not that Patton or Virgil were really romantic.)

(And not that following Logan’s plan would be exactly how he’d think it’d go down.)

So Damion’s plan was chosen.

They tricked them both into meeting up with what they thought were friends, and all bailed last moment, leaving the two of them.

They ended up at park.

And the others might have been watching from a distance.

“... What are they even up to?...”

“Hey, I dunno kiddo. Ah! DOG-!”

Patton saw the most adorable dog in the distance and ran off. The others immediately thought that dog ruined everything, and Patton would be preoccupied. But...

“Virgil, you have to see it! Come on!”

Usually, Virgil never did anything cutesy like that. It wasn’t really necessary, and not his style. So the others witnessed him first hand, getting up, smiling, and walking over to something he’d usually avoid, to be with Patton.

Score one, for the others.

Eventually, after doing this at the park, a restaurant, a club, and a sleepover, they FINALLY started to date.

(Patton was oblivious at the beginning, but when he finally got a hint from Roman (who was dying by that point) that Virgil liked him back, Virgil became the surprisingly oblivious one.)

(They’re awful.)

At the final one, the sleepover, the others all snuck away again, and they were left by themselves. When the others came back in to check on them, they weren’t there. A bit nervous, they headed to the top of the dorms and found both of them sitting sitting by the railing. (The same one Dee was at a long time ago.)

Virgil had his keyboard, and Patton was encouraging him to play.

“Come on, kiddo! You can do it!”

Virgil looked flustered from back in the stairwell, that the others hid in.

Eventually when he played, Roman remembered it as the one that he was practicing, and smiled to himself a bit.

And it was a simple question at the end of it too. One that took far too long to ask.

“W-Will you go out to the movies with me tomorrow?”

“Yeah! Of course, Virgil!”

Finally, they could work things out on their own now.

-----

It’s been another year since Virgil started dating Patton.

Roman was now a senior in the college.

Patton was now a junior.

Damion was a senior, like Roman.

Virgil would have been a junior, if he had joined the school at all.

Logan had just graduated the last year, with his degree in Astrology, much to Roman’s excitement.

“You’re gonna be a star nerd!”

“Don’t call me that.”

Thinking about the fact that Logan and Roman have been dating only recently, it was almost hypocritical to make fun of Virgil and Patton.

They’d probably have been pining longer, or just as long.

Either way, today wasn’t a day for celebration, not for Roman.

An urgent call came in, from Remus.

From his brother. From home.

Roman, for one, never talked much about his family, or home life, for many reasons.

His family wasn’t exactly the proudest to be in, especially now that Roman was at an university like this.

His parents... weren’t the best.

He only really liked his brother, even if he got on his nerves a lot.

(Sort of blames himself for why he couldn’t come. As if there was a better son of the Prince Family.)

Anyways, Remus called him. Remus came out as gay to their parents, and was basically kicked to the curb. Not even a part of the house.

And... he regretted to ask Roman, but he needed help.

“...Ro, t-they h-h-hate m-me-!”

Roman wanted to help him, but with his paycheck from odd jobs, and the rest of his tuition he needed, he could not take in another person without running out of money, and losing the opportunity with the rest of his college years.

And if his parents found out, they’d pull what they put into his tuition out, most likely.

But, Roman was already falling out with his parents. Honestly, either way he’d probably get part of his tuition pulled. Because they might have heard he was too. Or maybe, it’s just the distance.

Either way, whether he took in his brother or not didn’t matter, besides quickening the process. Roman was losing his tuition either way, and wouldn’t be able to get his degree.

Roman said, “I’ll see what I can do. I-I promise.”

He promised something he wasn’t sure about.

Logan was at his dorm at the time, just in time to see Roman’s helpless face, covered in tears.

When he was caught up to speed, he called the rest of them into Roman’s dorm when Roman was out at his part-time job.

He explained everything to them. And asked about what to do.

With enough rallying, each of them pitched in.

They worked extra hours, saved money, skipped meals.

And got enough that was for Roman’s tuition, so he could stay, and house someone who didn’t go to the school.

This was over just a few months.

When Roman found out, he was in disbelief.

No doubt ended in hugs. And a cuddling movie night.

Either way, Roman was in tears, and was smiling all night.

Over the months, this was the first time Roman had gotten any good sleep.

He called up his brother, and got in his car to go find him.

But before he left to pick him up from a state away, he thanked them all again.

And again.

And again.

When Roman got back, everyone got to meet the new member of the family. Remus.

And for once, everything felt, not just fine.

But perfect.

[gypsyscarfwoman]

I walk these unfamiliar halls… (Part 4)

(Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3) (Also on FF.net.)

Blindspot fanfic. Jeller. Remi tries to make sense of a world that makes no sense to her anymore. (Season 4 Speculation.)

“Remi—Jane—don't make the same mistake I did. Don't destroy the thing you love. See, you don't know it now, but you need him. If he dies, you die with him.” Shepherd’s voice echoed through the ear buds Remi wore.

Her own voice followed. “I want you to take a good long look at me, because this is the last time you'll ever see either of your children again. It's none of your concern what happens to us now. You lost that privilege when you stole our childhoods, not to mention my child.”

Remi tapped on the pause button on the screen, freezing the playback from the interrogation room.

She wasn’t entirely sure what she’d hoped to find, but whatever it was, this wasn’t it.

She’d never forgiven Shepherd for taking her baby. But she’d learned—as her mother had taught her—to compartmentalize. To separate emotion from practicality. She’d learned to equate love with weakness, so she’d put aside her feelings of pain and loss to focus on what had to be done. She’d joined the military to escape Shepherd, but when she realized that her own government was corrupt, she’d re-joined her mother’s cause.

And for what? The plan had failed. Shepherd was in jail. Oscar was dead. And so was Roman.

She closed her eyes against the crushing pain of loss.

If he dies, you die with him. Only she hadn’t. She was alive. And she was alone.

She refused to allow herself to look across the bullpen to Reade’s office, where Weller was currently engaged in a meeting. Weller didn’t count. He was part of her cover. He wasn’t really her partner, wasn’t really in love with her, because the person he loved didn’t exist.

She had no room for regret. She was here to complete a mission. That was all. When it was done, she’d walk away and leave Weller behind.

And then she’d truly be alone.

Unbidden, the thought of the brief but fierce hug Avery had given her before she left surfaced in Remi’s mind. She had her daughter back. She’d missed out on so many years, but she had her back. Somehow she had to figure out how to hold on to her daughter this time, no matter how things ended with Weller and the FBI. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing Avery again. Hadn’t she lost enough?

Her gaze returned to the frozen picture of her adoptive mother.

The CIA hid their prisoners very well. Even if she could find Shepherd, breaking her out would be no easy task, and certainly not one she could accomplish alone.

Did she need Shepherd? She’d never had to ask that question before. Shepherd had always been there, a force to be reckoned with in Remi’s life. Phase Two had been Shepherd’s brainchild, but Phase Two was over, so Remi needed to make a new plan. She could do that without Shepherd’s help.

But she would need money and manpower to carry out a new plan. Shepherd’s troops would have scattered when she was arrested, and it would be hard to persuade her financial contacts to gamble on another operation. She’d focus on bodies and a plan for now, and worry about the money later.

“Jane?”

She came back to herself with a start and looked up at Patterson, who had materialized beside Remi’s workstation.

“Sorry, I zoned out for a minute.”

Patterson frowned. “Why are you watching that?” She gestured at the screen.

Remi forced herself to shrug. “I don’t know. She knew Roman so well, maybe I should talk to her—”

“That is for sure a really bad idea.” Patterson regarded Remi worriedly.

“She might have some idea where Roman hid the drives—” Remi tried again.

Patterson’s face softened, and she reached out to squeeze Remi’s arm. “I’m sorry. I know this is hard, having to spend every day looking at what he left behind for you. But even if we could get Keaton to bring Shepherd in here again, she wouldn’t help you, Jane. She’d just mess with your head. You know that.”

Remi forced herself to nod.

“We will find them, Jane. I promise.” The concern in Patterson’s eyes was too intense to be feigned, and Remi was struck once again by how much not only Weller, but the whole team seemed concerned about her condition.

Remi shrugged. “Maybe. Roman could be difficult.” That was an understatement. “We spent months looking for him, but we never really caught him.” Because Blake had killed him before they could.

“Roman gave you that first drive, Jane. He wanted you to find them. He wanted you to get better.”

Remi tilted her head and regarded Patterson curiously. “Do you really believe that?”

“I do.” There was no hesitation in her reply.

“He ordered hits on all of us.”

Patterson grimaced. “Yeah, but honestly… he would have known that they were likely to fail. We’re hard to kill, right?” She grinned unexpectedly.

I could kill you in a heartbeat. But that certainty was accompanied by a tiny bit of relief that she wouldn’t have to. At least not yet. She steeled herself. She couldn’t afford to get attached to the FBI team, any more than she could let herself feel anything for Weller.

“You said yourself that he only did it because he fell in love with Blake,” Patterson continued. “Up until then, he was trying to help us.”

So what had changed? Was it all a subterfuge? Or had Roman really fallen for Blake, so much so that he was willing to throw away his mission, throw away his own sister for Blake? Some kind of reverse Stockholm Syndrome?

She couldn’t believe that he would do that. Because if he could, if Roman could leave everything that he loved and valued behind to become Tom… then maybe Remi really had believed she was Jane.

# # #

She found the tattoo two days later.

She’d spent hours combing through the data in the original tattoo database, the new database, and the information on the drive that Roman had given her. She was midway through the last when she recognized one of the tattoos on the drive as one that they’d removed from the first round of tattoos, before she’d been left in Times Square. The image pointed to someone in the Justice Department who’d been accepting bribes from a venture capitalist. Said financier had thrown his support behind Shepherd’s organization a few weeks before the mission, so they’d deleted this tattoo from the final design.

There was no guarantee that he’d be willing to help Remi, but she couldn’t risk the FBI getting to him before she had time to formulate a plan. With a few clicks of the mouse, she erased the tattoo from the new database. She deleted it from the backup as well, and immediately edited the system log file to erase any record of her actions.

And then she went back to trying to figure out what had happened to Shepherd’s troops.

Her phone calls to Hobbes remained unanswered, and it was looking more and more like she was entirely on her own now. She couldn’t give up. She owed it to the people who had given their lives or their freedom to this cause to see it through. To Roman and Oscar and Markos and Parker and Shepherd and Thornton… The sheer number of names she could put on that list overwhelmed her.

When she’d exhausted the databases, she moved on to checking traffic and surveillance cameras near properties that Shepherd had used. They had always maintained well-stocked backup locations they could shift to if their headquarters became compromised. It was a long shot, but maybe some of her compatriots were still using one of those locations.

Most of them appeared to be dead ends. Abandoned properties with no activity visible on any CCTV in the area. She’d just about given up when she got to the last one, a warehouse outside Brooklyn. The exterior looked just as run-down and neglected as the others, but traffic cameras showed cars and trucks approaching and departing, and satellite images showed tire tracks outside the large garage bays.

It was definitely worth checking out, but she was going to have to ditch her FBI babysitters, who were watching her all too closely for signs that the ZIP poisoning was progressing. She kept assuring them that she was fine, but Patterson and Rich were practically breathing down her neck all day, watching her for any sign of illness. She never mentioned the headaches that came and went. They weren’t debilitating, and she didn’t want to invite any more poking and prodding.

Figuring out how to get away from Weller was going to be the hardest task. He barely let her out of his sight as it was. And although his constant worrying over her health was annoying, it was also kind of… sweet. No one had every worried over Remi before. The opposite, really: Illness was a sign of weakness, and weakness was to be avoided at all costs. She and Roman had always gone out of their way to ignore any injury or illness the other might be suffering from, to avoid drawing anyone else’s attention to it. It felt strange to have someone else so concerned about her. Strange and… oddly nice, if inconvenient.

The following morning, she deliberately skipped her morning workout, telling Weller she needed to get to work early to finish something she’d been working on with Patterson. They were busy all day, chasing down tattoo clues that hadn’t panned out. They had both finally been cleared for field work, and by the time they got back to the NYO, Weller’s face was gray with exhaustion.

“You look beat,” she told him bluntly, as they paused in the hallway outside the locker room.

“You say the sweetest things,” he replied, but his smile was lost in the lines of pain that bracketed his mouth.

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. The man was impossible. But if she were being honest, she’d admit that she was worried about him. She knew him well enough by now to know that he would downplay any discomfort. They were alike in that regard, she supposed. But she needed him healthy and working at the FBI, which meant that she couldn’t allow him to reinjure himself. That was the only possible reason for the oddly protective urge she had to take him home and tuck him into bed.

“Are you ready to go?” His large hand cupped her shoulder blade as his arm curved around her.

She leaned into him automatically. “I was going to go work out,” she told him with just the right amount of regret in her voice. “But you should go home before you fall down. Are you up for cooking dinner or should I grab something for us on my way home?”

As she’d expected, his spine straightened slightly. “I can cook something. I’m not that tired. Maybe I’ll go work out too.”

Definitely not. She leaned closer and dropped her voice. “Or you could go home and fix dinner, and I could give you a workout later.” She looked up at him from under her lashes.

He swallowed hard, and she stifled a smug smile.

The hand on her back slid up until he could stroke his thumb against the sensitive spot where her neck met her shoulder. “Or we could both go home and work out together.”

She couldn’t prevent the shiver that traveled down her spine, and his lips curved up at the tiny tell.

Focus, Remi. She was having trouble remembering what she was supposed to be doing. “You,” she tapped him on the chest, “need to go home. I need to go work out.”

His lips pursed in an adorable pout as he stroked her neck again.

Damn, he was distracting. She couldn’t afford to be distracted.

“But hold that thought.” They were still alone in the hallway, so she rose up on her toes to brush her lips against his. “I’ll see you at home.”

“Don’t be long.” He held her close for a second longer before releasing her.

She darted gratefully into the locker room. It was getting harder to remember where reality ended and her cover began. All the more reason to hurry up and do what she had to do.

She hid in the restroom for a few minutes, until she was sure he was gone, and then checked the hall before crossing quickly to the stairwell. She didn’t have that much time. She couldn’t afford for Weller to become suspicious.

She rode the subway to Brooklyn, getting off near a busy shopping district. She walked through a parking lot, testing doors until she found one unlocked. Slipping inside, she tugged at the wires under the dash, grinning with satisfaction when the engine turned over.

The night was dark, only a faint crescent moon visible in the sky. She parked the car in an alley a few blocks away from her destination and made her way toward the warehouse.

The decay of the surrounding properties was apparent in the dim light of the few street lights that weren’t burned out. She circled slowly around the building, looking for signs of life. The steel door on the side of the warehouse was in good shape, as was the lock. It took her only a few seconds to pick it, and she turned the knob slowly, listening intently as she peered into the darkness.

The warehouse was neither fully dark nor fully silent. There was a light at the end of the hallway, and she could hear music playing somewhere in the distance. She closed the door behind her and set off in search of the source of the noise.

Three doorways revealed only empty storage rooms. At the end of the hallway, a propped-open door led into the garage bay.

A late model SUV was parked in front of one of the large doors. In the work area beyond it, two men slouched on folding chairs in front of a long workbench, smoking and drinking cans of beer. She didn’t recognize either of them. A cell phone sat on a crate in front of them, its tinny speaker blaring a hip-hop number she didn’t recognize.

Remi frowned. Shepherd hadn’t tolerated smoking. She had no use for soldiers who couldn’t keep up with their equals. Sure, some of them had still smoked, but they had been careful not to do it where Shepherd could catch them, and they hadn’t let it affect their fitness.

Remi eyed the two men critically. Despite the camouflage pattern on their pants, they were too sloppy-looking to be soldiers. They were both large but not especially muscular. And judging by the handgun one of the men had tucked in his waistband, they were more used to settling disagreements with weapons instead of fists. Shepherd had insisted that anyone who fought beside her be just as lethal without as gun as with one. Neither of these men fit the bill.

“You assholes still here?” A third man strode into the garage bay from a room at the back. He was smaller and thinner than the other two, but in much better shape, as evidenced by the muscular biceps his tank top revealed. His hair was close-cropped, in a military-style cut, and he had a gun tucked in the small of his back.

One of the large men looked over at the other and shrugged. “Still waiting for the call.”

The skinny guy frowned, his right leg jiggling. “Shoulda called by now.”

The large guy who’d spoken before shrugged and took another sip of his beer.

The skinny guy stalked over and grabbed the phone on the crate. He tapped the screen and the music stopped. He tapped some more, and his scowl deepened.

The large guy shrugged again. “Told ya. No calls.”

The skinny guy dropped the phone, practically vibrating with impatience.

Remi decided it was time to seek an introduction.

She strolled out of the hallway and into the bay. “Who’s in charge here?”

As she’d expected, Skinny reacted immediately, grabbing his gun and aiming it at her. “Who the fuck are you?”

The other two sized her up, clearly deciding she didn’t seem like much of a threat, and let Skinny deal with her.

“I’m Remi,” she said conversationally, holding her hands out in non-threatening manner while continuing to move forward slowly. “And you are?”

“I’m the guy who’s going to put in a bullet in you,” said Skinny.

Closer up, she could see that his eyes were dilated, and he was still bouncing his leg. He was high on something. Great. She mentally revised her approach. She needed to get that gun out of his hand before he made good on his threat.

“You don’t want to do that,” she assured him, still moving forward.

He peered at her suspiciously. “Why not?”

“Because then I might do this.” Moving within arm’s reach of him, she grabbed the wrist holding the gun and slammed it into the workbench. The gun slipped free, clattering on the workbench, and he gave a startled grunt of pain. She wrenched his arm around until she had him bent over the workbench. He reared back, catching her in the cheekbone with the back of his head, sending a crack of pain through her skull. She shook it off and increased pressure on his wrist, grabbing the gun with her free hand, cocking it, and pressing it against his temple.

The other two men had jumped to their feet and pulled their weapons, but she’d moved so quickly, they couldn’t do anything except look at her.

“Back off, boys, or I’m the one who puts a bullet in your friend here.”

They stared at her blankly for a moment.

“Put your guns on the floor and back up.” When they didn’t move, she squeezed the wrist she was still holding. It wasn’t broken, but she was sure it hurt like a son of a bitch.

Skinny gave an obliging grunt and yelled, “Listen to her, you idiots!”

Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee looked at each other and then set their guns on the floor and took a couple of steps back.

They could pick them up in a heartbeat, Remi knew, but they were slow enough that she’d be able to shoot them both before they could.

“I just wanted to ask you a few questions,” she said to Skinny in a chiding voice. “Who’s in charge here?”

“I am,” he spat.

“How did you find out about this place?”

“Fuck you.”

She squeezed his wrist again and nudged him in the temple with the barrel of the gun. “How did you find out about this place?” she repeated pleasantly.

He tried to jerk free, but she increased pressure on his wrist, and he subsided. “Deke’s the one you should talk to.”

“Deke. Deke Rivas?” She remembered Deke. He’d been pretty far down on the totem pole. She wouldn’t have thought he was even cleared to know about this place, but who knew what had gone down after Shepherd had been arrested.

“Yeah.”

“And where would I find Deke?”

“I ain’t seen him in a month. He took a shipment and never came back. He’s probably dead.”

She wasn’t surprised that Deke had decided that drugs were a better way to make a living. The problem with hiring mercenaries was that if you could wave a wad of cash under someone’s nose to buy their loyalty, someone with a larger wallet could outbid you later. Shepherd had a core group of soldiers who thought like her and supported her cause, but she’d kept the rest in line with regular paychecks and a healthy dose of fear. Quitting her organization wasn’t an option. The only way out was a bullet in between the eyes.

Remi stifled a sigh. These guys weren’t of any use to her. She didn’t need any strung-out junkies screwing up her plans, and she couldn’t offer them anywhere close to the money they were probably bringing in now in order to recruit them.

She twisted around, releasing Skinny but still keeping him between her and his goons. She also kept hold of his gun. “Thank you for your help, gentlemen.”

Skinny rubbed his wrist and glared at her. “Someone oughta teach you some manners. Don’t you agree, boys?”

Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee apparently agreed with him, taking a step forward.

Fuck.

Remi kept her expression pleasant and unthreatening. She held up her free hand. “I’ll see myself out.”

The twins moved forward again.

“You’re not going anywhere, bitch,” Skinny snarled and launched himself at her.

Fortunately or unfortunately, he was too strung out to employ any subtlety or subterfuge to his attack and launched himself at her with no finesse. She sidestepped his approach and used his momentum to slam his head into the workbench. He dropped like a stone, but she had no time for relief, because the twins were right behind him.

She couldn’t take on both at once. They were huge, and there were two of them and only one of her.

She swung out a lethal kick at the one closest to her, while firing her gun at the other. But the kick threw her aim slightly off, so the bullet caught the second guy in the gut instead of the chest. He swayed but didn’t fall. And the first guy was so large (or so hard-headed) that the blow to his head barely slowed him down. He plowed into her, wrapping one beefy paw around her throat as he pinned her back against the workbench. He grabbed her forearm with his other hand, forcing the gun down and away from him.

His hand was large enough to wrap nearly all the way around her neck, and the massive thumb on her windpipe was rapidly cutting off her air supply. So she went with that, allowing her body to go slack in his grasp, rotating the gun in her hand so her thumb was on the trigger as she “passed out.”

Her opponent grunted and smacked her head back against the workbench, apparently just to make sure she was out. She grimaced in pain internally, but kept her features slack.

The tight grip on her throat loosened, and she didn’t hesitate, firing the gun up into his fleshy belly. She couldn’t really judge the angle, but going by the stunned look on his face, she’d managed to hit some vital organ, because his hands fell away, and he staggered back a step. She rotated the gun and shot him again in the chest, point blank, and he took another step back before crumpling to the floor. Behind him, his buddy was still on his feet, so she fired at him, too, and he went down with an audible thump.

Skinny was still out cold at her feet, and she eyed him for a minute, tempted to leave him.

But the tattoos made her far too easily recognizable. She couldn’t afford to have a junkie dealer nosing around looking for her, so she aimed the gun between his eyes and pulled the trigger.

Stepping around his prone body, she picked up a rag from the workbench and wiped her prints off the gun, dropping it beside him on the floor.

There was a small smear of blood on the sleeve of her leather jacket, the only article of clothing in Jane’s closet that she actually liked. She carefully wiped it off on the leg of her black cargo pants. She straightened her shirt and jacket and left the warehouse just as silently as she’d entered.

[marjaystuff]

Elise Cooper interviews Maisey Yates, Catlin Crews, Nicole Helm and Jackie Ashenden

A Cowboy For All Seasons written by the cowgirl quartet, Maisey Yates, Caitlin Crews, Nicole Helm, and Jackie Ashenden is billed as an anthology, but is actually a compilation since the four stories flow into one riveting plot.  It will remind readers of the Dixie Chick song “Cowboy Take Me Away,” as they are swept up by the characters and plot line. The four heroines tangle with their hard headed cowboys as they find love, healing, and the true meaning of family.

After her passing, June Gable sent to all four of her grandchildren a handwritten bequest, to spend a season at her beloved farmhouse in Jasper Creek, Oregon, before they sell it. These cousins were once as close as sisters, but time and family betrayals have pushed them apart. Grandma June knew her grandchildren had eyes for only one man, so she orchestrated matchmaking scenarios to bring the couples together.

Spring has Keira Long returning to her small hometown after successfully making it in the big city of Seattle. Grandma June has asked her to work alongside Remy West to tend to the land and cattle. But in doing so she must come to grips with her first true love, a relationship she broke up to find her independent way.  This is a story of second chances at romance with her true love. Coming in the way is the family parental issues that both must come to grips with and overcome.

Summer has childhood friends, JJ Frost and Cade Matthewson, coming together to help his two daughters, Lora and Ellie, have a fun summer vacation. Having experienced something similar to what the girls are going through JJ understands the feeling of abandonment by a mother.  Both Cade and JJ must allow each other to share their feelings as they open up their hearts.

Fall has Lila Frost optimistically returning to plan the Red Star Holiday Bizarre. Grandma June asked her to take it over and to work with Everett McCall whose ranch is where it will be held.  Lila had a crush on Everett as a child and wonders if he sees her as a woman.  Will both be able to overlook their ten-year gap in age? Lila must help him take down the wall he has built to protect himself from being hurt by others. Besides trying to repair the relationship with Everett she also is trying to figure out how to reconnect with her sister JJ.

Winter has Bella Jackson returning.  She is probably the most broken of all the cousins. Isolated by her mother from the rest of the family including Grandma June she has to learn how to ask for help.  Willing to ignore her requests to do everything on her own, Noah Faraday steps in to repair the farmhouse and both his and her emotions.

The thread that ties all these stories together is reconnecting. Each of the heroines needs to reunite with one another and to forge a relationship with their lost loves.  These stories blended together as one even though there were four different authors, allowing readers to take a journey with the characters as they try to reunite with each other.

Elise Cooper: How did you get the idea?

Maisey Yates:  I was talking to Nicole and joked about book pitches.  I was totally kidding, but the next day I started thinking about the possibility of writing a story centered around four people staying at a farmhouse.  I texted the other authors, and got them on board.  We actually had an auction to see which publishing house would get the story.  

Maisey, Nicole, Caitlin, Jackie:  It came out of the fact we were all friends.  We shared everything we wrote. It just seemed to flow together and felt very organic.  

Caitlin Crews:  Nicole wrote those wonderful grandmother letters that started off each story. Jackie wrote the first story so we knew where we were all going.  

EC:  Since there was a crossover of characters how did that work?

Jackie Ashenden: Since they were all in my story, I wrote the other heroines and asked each author if what I wrote was out of character, but no one rewrote the lines.  We all knew each other’s character very well.  

EC:  How about the seasons, how did that come about?

Caitlin:  Maisey came up with the year of the cowboy.  I thought since it is a year let’s break it into seasons.  The original title was The Year of the Cowboy.

Nicole Helm:  I chose summer because my hero has two children.  I wanted them to be a large part of the story and did not want them to be in school.  

Maisey:  I love the season of fall.  It was October when we pitched it and as I was driving by my daughter’s school, I saw the sign, “Red Star Holiday Bizarre.” I ripped off the name and used it in the book.

Jackie:  They thought to give me winter because it was freezing and sad.  I had never written about snow or Christmas so I found it challenging.  Thankfully, everything magically fell into place.

EC:  How did the farmhouse come about?

Maisey:  Some of us were staying at a farmhouse in Illinois.  It was very similar to the one Caitlin’s husband drew for us.  In this book, with the farmhouse, it felt a bit mystical.  It was funny, how we all had the same farmhouse in our heads.

EC:  How would you describe Grandma June?

Nicole:  Even though she was a great grandmother, her daughters were not great mothers.  I knew people who were not great parents, but learned from their past mistakes.  I also think that sometimes we cannot control how people turn out.  I think June was outspoken, accessible, salty, and brave.  She could not go back in time but did try to make changes for the future. Like the four cousins, I miss my grandparents so much.  What a great thing it would be to have a magic farmhouse.  My grandmother had a paperweight that I used in the story.  I put in tidbits that reminded me of my grandma.  

Caitlin:  Both my grandparents have passed.  I dedicated this story to them.  I would love to be able to communicate with them.

EC:  How would you describe the parents?

Caitlin:  Most of the parents were selfish and self-centered.  They cared more about themselves than their children.  

EC:  How would you describe Bella, Noah, and their relationship?

Jackie:  BELLA is stubborn, determined, vulnerable, kind, and guarded.  She is like most of my   heroes.

NOAH is grumpy, a man of few words, a loner, and protective.

THEIR RELATIONSHIP is based on a connection both tried to deny.  Bella doesn’t want Noah around because she is ashamed of the terrible crush she has on him.

EC:  How would you describe Keira, Remy, and their relationship?

Caitlin:  KEIRA is elegant.  She is a lost-soul and fragile but would argue with that description.  Because she is the first one to live in the farmhouse she is grieving a bit more than the others who had more time to process. Being the oldest she tended to have a slightly different relationship with her grandmother.  Some grandmothers favor the oldest.

REMY is angry, heart-broken, hard-headed, and basically a cowboy.

THEIR RELATIONSHIP has two different parts, one they had and one they will have. The previous one was destined to fall apart because they could not communicate, had secrets, and they were so young.  The one today looks back at the failures of the first time, which enabled them to build a stronger structure going forward. They became friends before lovers.

EC:  How would you describe JJ, Cade, his daughters, and their relationship?

Nicole:  JJ is serious, practical, and sometimes tries to hide her emotional hurt. She is compulsive and not a dreamer, with a focus on being helpful.  

CADE’s main focus is to be a good dad. He is responsible.

LORA and ELLIE are aware that their mom left them.  The older one is snarkier and grumpier.  The younger one is a dreamer.

RELATIONSHIP WITH THE GIRLS was based on my family. JJ first thought of herself as just a baby-sitter.  But she became emotionally involved because what the girls went through was similar to her own backstory.  She is reliving her past through them because she lost her relationship with her sister.  

CADE and JJ’s RELATIONSHIP was really good for each other.  At first, JJ and Cade were very guarded because they were hurt in the past.  They rely on each other and then let the attraction take over.  They developed a friendship first.

EC:  How would you describe Lila, Everett, and their relationship?

Maisey:  LILA feels she has boundless options and can always make things turn out OK. She wanted to be an optimist instead of being like her mother who was sad and bitter.  Everett was the first time that did not happen.  She is determined, cheerful, optimistic, creative, and impetus.  

EVERETT has the need to think that controlling the outcome will make things turn out all right.  He is responsible, practical, and a realist.  

THEIR RELATIONSHIP had them both butting heads since they are control freaks.  They have a ten-year gap in their age difference.  Lila saw him as a fantasy at first, but then realizes he has his own issues.  Both had to overcome barriers. Everett tried to protect himself from the bad things but also the good things.  They realized that if there was to be a long-term commitment there will be ups/downs and give and take. I wrote this book quote, “Love wasn’t just rainbows, and fairy-tale endings.  Love was acceptance.  Love was patient. Love was fifty-fifty. Love bore burdens. Love hoped.  Love believed.”

EC:  Do you have Christmas decorations like you wrote about?

Jackie:  When I was writing that scene, I thought about the Christmas decorations I have.

EC:  There is a quote about cities.  Are you a country girl or a city gal?

Caitlin:  You are referring to the book quote, “Country roads, sooner or later they get you where you need to go.” I have lived in cities all my life until about four years ago.  We moved to rural Oregon.  I am aware of the difference in lifestyles and like to write characters that represent small towns.  

EC:  Do you garden?

Nicole:  I do not.  My grandmother and my mom were big gardeners.  By putting those scenes in the book, I was paying homage to them.

EC: Iris Cob Horses?

Maisey: I was flying to Atlanta in October and next to me was a cowboy.  He was telling me how profitable these horses are and showed me pictures.  I told him I was totally going to steal the idea and I did.  Unfortunately, I know nothing about horses.

EC:  Can you give a shout out about your next books?

Maisey:  There is a strong possibility there will be a sequel to this book with new characters, but we hope to bring in these characters as well.  Out in May will be Secrets From A Happy Marriage.  It is my first women’s fiction book that focuses on family relationships with some romance.  It is about women who have a Lighthouse Inn B & B.

Nicole: I have a new book series that started last week, called South Dakota Showdown.  It has six brothers who are police officers who are trying to bring down their father, the head of a motorcycle gang.  It is romantic suspense.

Jackie: Sexy Beast is the next book in the billionaire series.  It has a billionaire and his neighbor, a best friend, who become involved.

Caitlin: In the summer will be book 4 in the “Alaska Force series.” It is written under the name Megan Crane and is titled Delta Force and has the heroine escaping her criminal family by changing her identity. She meets the leader of the Alaska Force that helps her survive her demons.

THANK YOU!!