#I never put examples from the games I worked on....... I have too much beef with them.....

[rawliverandgoronspice]

not me constantly putting mass effect, zelda, and pathologic examples in my classes and showing my entire ass over and over and over............

[the-sixteen-millimeter-shrine]

I was cringing so bad when Marlene tried to explain their quackery. I know it's fictional universe but still my little heart was about to sink down to my ass. 

I love that we are talking about would it work or how it would be distributed. Trouble is they would never go as far as to... anything? I never played the game but based on the show. The doctor guy is a doctor, not a scientist. That's why we have translational medicine cause scientists sometimes can't grasp the reality and translate the developments into the medical fields BUT doctors on the other hand can't grasp the underlying subcellular functions of the disease or a drug.

So he is clearly a doctor (and so far there is only him, one fucking person lol) and they use the term signaling molecules/chemicals? Vague is not even a word I can use to describe it. Honestly, it might not even be a chemical being produced but a long standing change in Ellie and her cells presenting mushroomy/having mushroomy receptors to communicate. Just one example of many. They would actually have to find the compound or whatever is different in her. They would literally have to fish out the one thing out of millions, and mind you they are two decades into apocalypse aka event that would introduce a lot of changes into what would be considered a healthy human, so comparing samples with 2003 standards could be kind of iffy too. Not like anyone would think this far ahead though. Another important thing is, how much they know about the species itself? Do they know the exact species? The toxins and other funny stuff it makes? Do they know the detailed invasion mechanisms? How does it cross the BBB? What is the host immune response? If anyone tried to do any research on the fungus, do they have the data still and how reliable it is?

And here is the biggest kill me please, coming from people having no clue about the factual state of anything. They have no resources to grow it or even transport it in sterile manner from Ellie to wherever. Everything about that hospital space screamed contamination. And I'm fucking sure they have cleanrooms and safe preservation protocols and liquid nitrogen tanks up and running to preserve the VERY VALUABLE tissues since they are killing the only known source of it.

They are harvesting the materials that possibly POSSIBLY contains what they are looking for and in the process they are killing the source. Biopsy anyone??? And the actual material they plan to re-grow in the lab... Like okie, go and try to grow a mammalian brain/cordyceps mutant NOT ESTABLISHED cell lines in a post-apo lab. Yes go, go and do that but before you do you better ask if we have enough power to complete the surgery... How you gonna grow them? In what media? What you gonna feed it? Can you maintain environment oxygen/temp/pH at the very least? Can you make sure it is not contaminated or infected? I understand that Marlene got bioreactors installed in the sewers? Or is she more of a single use technology pusher girl? You just gonna put a piece of her brain on a slice of beef in an old fishtank and hope for the best aren't you?

The fungus is a living organism after all so it has growth requirements. Do they know what that even means? How deep the Ellie/mushroom connection is? It is mammalian mutant or they can separate the fungi? Can they immortalize the cells if they are in fact mammalian-ish? The cells will eventually die (it was established in the show that infected do in fact die) and then we have senescence too. Then, how would they make the cells produce the SIGNALLING CHEMICALS when these are probably only produced when there is a signal received for them to be produced cause all cells are smart like this and they like to make life easier for themselves and not everything is always in production mode on. How are they gonna harvest them from the lab grown cells? They can't just give people the crude cell extracts, they know as much right? RIGHT? How are they... yeesh there is like 3614 pages biologics R&D and production 101 essay brewing here but you getting the point ;c

Sorry for yelling I know it's fiction but people (me!!) been personally victimized by this stupid shit ;c also 20 years old research facilities? equipment sitting there for two decades, concept of validation and standards nonexistent anymore. At the time (2003) they just finished to sequence the human genome and it took like 15 years to do it and involved hundreds of labs all around the globe and SO SO SO MUCH RESOURCES. Again, fictional. But this is just stupid to even think ANYTHING they were thinking of doing would work in the slightest ;c 

Then when it comes to developing a drug/vaccine, that doctor lady in episode 2 already knew the story. She was ahead of her time like a real queen that she was may she rest in peace. 

Also big possibility (since who is gonna do a safety/efficacy studies or later I don’t know follow any GMPs), this shit cure might do fun things such as a) kill you, b) give you immune reaction so strong it will kill you, c) may have another adverse effects that might be lethal since there are no hospitals around, d) be contaminated and the contaminants are toxic and that kills you, e) might get you infected and mushroomised since they actually have no clue what the fuck they are working with. Just couple of possibilities cause yet another essay is brewing here.

These are my thoughts without sense or anything really and I wrote this on 3 hours of sleep but I WAS REALLY PERSONALLY VICTIMIZED BY A COUPLE OF LINES OF DIALOGUE and I need everyone to know this. But then I am attacked by every show that fails to even look basic biology concepts in the eye. This is what I like to call the breeding grounds for antivaxxers and this oil and prayers will cure my cancer crowds. 

Oh and Frank! I think it wasn't cancer but something neurodegenerative like MS.

Just in case anyone was wondering if the Fireflies would have found a cure: absolutely NOT.

Ignoring the game canon (where they mention that they have tried and failed and murdered dozens of immune kids), and only using text from the show we know for a fact that medicine has NOT advanced since 2003.

To begin with, when Frank is dying of cancer and wants to do euthenasia, Bill says they "might find a cure." Frank jokingly says that there was no cure before the fall, and he doubts there are any new doctors walking around with functional MRIs. This tells us we did not develop any new cures for incural diseases. In 2003 we did NOT have a cure for this fungal infection, and we don't even have one now in our 2023, let alone THEIR 2023.

In Kansas City Karen is holding a doctor hostage in exchange for information about Henry. He tries leveraging the fact that he's a doctor in an attempt to keep himself alive. It doesn't work. Doctors are NOT valued in this world.

Marlene mentions that when crossing the country they lost half their men, while Joel stayed alive the whole time. The Fireflies are barely equiped to travel, let alone distribute a life saving medicine. They are terrorists willing to experiment on children. Even if they found a cure, they would not give it away for free. It would become leverage in a power struggle, and Joel knows this.

That's just what I can think of off the top of my head. The Fireflies would have murdered Ellie and it would have been for nothing.

[koolfrogz]

Misconceptions Regarding MCC14

Recently there have been a load of misconceptions regarding many of the controversies that happened this MCC, especially on Twitter and Tiktok, so I thought I would make a giant post detailing these and why they are wrong so I can scroll through my dash in peace.

1. Hbomb purposely abused a glitch in HITW that got Illumina and Mefs banned from MCC on the practice server. 

This one can easily be broken down into three components: 1. Misinformation about the glitch itself 2. Misinformation about the Mefs and Illumina incident 3. When does abusing a glitch count as cheating?

Firstly, the glitch Hbomb used is actually very common in HITW and has been around since the game was first introduced. The devs know about it and have not made any complaints about it because the usage of the glitch itself is heavily luck based (depending on the ping of the player) and does not guarantee a win to any player who does get it. Take for example PearlescentMoon who has used the glitch repeatedly throughout many competitions (i.e MCC 11), yet has not gained any significant advantage through it because, again, there is still an element of skill required to use it. This glitch is not only known by the devs, but has been used before in HITW. It is not something new that Hbomb exploited as a means of getting ahead.

Secondly, the Illumina and Mefs situation is not at all comparable to the Hbomb one. Illumina and Mefs were using a completely different glitch which did guarantee a win to the player because it allowed the player to afk on the platform and allow the blocks to pass through them. They were not banned for exploiting this glitch, but rather reprimanded by Scott and the devs for not reporting it to them sooner. Mefs and Illumina are still allowed in MCC and only didn’t compete this time because the teams had already been formed.

Finally, in regards to the idea of cheating itself when using such a glitch, the idea that what Hbomb did counts as cheating is absurd considering past MCCs and the various glitches which have been abused as well. I’ve seen a lot of people mention the infamous Wilbur Glitch and I think its a perfect example. The Wilbur Glitch is from the game Rocket Spleef which was not played this MCC but certainly will be in the future. The glitch involves the player becoming stuck in a block and seemingly floating in the air allowing them to basically secure a win without admin intervention. This glitch is much more OP than the glitch Hbomb used, and we have even seen admins purposefully try to kill players for using it (i.e Philza MCC11). However, even when players have purposefully attempted to get it (Wilbur, Phil, Quackity, etc.), I have never seen the fandom react so negatively as to accuse them of cheating. It is not fair to accuse Hbomb of cheating when he abuses a glitch which has been in the game for ages and not do the same with your favourite creators who do a much more busted glitch as well. Personally, I don’t consider either of these cheating, but that’s my opinion.

2. They removed Parkour Warrior because Dream was too good. That’s not fair.

Okay, this one is very simple as its just not true. This falls under the assumption that Dream was the only player to finish Parkour Warrior which is not true (PeteZahHutt completed the course twice and was the first to ever complete it in MCC 6). While the reason the Parkour Warrior map was destroyed in MCC 11 is said to be that EpicLandlord destroyed it because “he was annoyed at how good Dream was at it”, this is mainly a joke (think of the Ranboo being banned from MCC situation, while Ranboo isn’t in MCC there’s no actual beef and he’s not actually banned.) Secondly, if you weren’t around for Parkour Warrior when it was still in MCC, or have only ever seen Dream or Pete’s POV, you might not know, but Parkour Warrior was a miserable game mode (think Build Mart/Bingo but ten times worse because there was no chance to improve your placement other than just being good at Parkour). The game was 10 minutes of pure rage and frustration from competitors, which while entertaining at times, wasn’t the best for content when only two POVs in the entire competition were deemed watchable. This also wasn’t good for a competition because it meant that only two teams at most were progressing (and by a large amount) due to one player while the rest lagged behind. It gave the teams which had Pete and Dream a huge advantage and made the game unfun and unfair to everyone else, so they revamped the game (to Parkour Tag) to make it an even playing field where everyone had a chance to win (in the spirit of MCC). 

3. Scott had an unfair advantage in the competition and should be removed from the Dev Team or the Participants List.

This one is slightly more nuanced and may not have a definitive answer. Yes, Scott does have a slight advantage due to being a part of the dev team in every MCC. However, this MCC was definitely an outlier in that fact. Scott has been known to share info and tips with his teammates in past MCCs, but it has not truly impacted their performance on a significant level because the players knew a majority of the information anyways (the game rules, maps, etc). This MCC was unfair because Scott had a bigger advantage than originally assumed (it doesn’t mean he did it with malicious intent, it just means there was a severe oversight when designing the maps and explaining the rules to players). Also, the idea that Scott was guaranteed a win because he was part of the Dev Team is ridiculous and untrue. 

Scott has always been treated on the same level as any other player and has not been giving special privileges because he helped work on the tournament. Take for example MCC 8. Scott was teamed with Tommy, Philza, and Wilbur, and they were doing very well! Then came (wait for it), Ace Race. Scott experienced a glitch which allowed him to remain with his Elytra activated for half the course and allowed him to skip over multiple checkpoints and placed him in first. However, by skipping over these checkpoints the game corrected his placement and put him in last. This was seen as not fair at the time and the Red Rabbits did complain, to which Noxite responded that there was nothing they could do and Scott would just have to finish the round as normal. This glitch severely impacted the Red Rabbits standings and possibly led to them not being able to compete in Dodgebolt that MCC. Yet, Scott was never treated differently than any other player throughout the glitch despite being a part of the Dev Team.

For the next MCC, I certainly think that Scott should be allowed to play as normal. I truly believe this MCC was a fluke, and although I too felt a little salty seeing my favourite go from 2nd to 30th, I believe that it is not worth getting up in arms about it because at the end of the day there is a whole season of competitions where any team has a chance to win. 

4. They should have restarted the round and allowed the participants to retry the map.

While I too would have loved to see a rematch for Ace Rae, I would like to say that I, and probably many of the people playing, knew that it wasn’t going to happen. Noxcrew is very strict about the way MCC is run, it’s why I think it works so well. However, this means that they will not budge on these rules even in the face of something such as this competition’s Ace Race debacle. In the entire time of MCC, Noxcrew have only once ever restarted a round. This was in MCC 7 during Battle Box after there were server issues causing extreme lag for everyone (and Wilbur and Magistrex blew up their own teammates). It was unlikely that they were going to restart the round due to the mistake, and honestly, it might’ve caused more trouble than good to reset the points and the entire round of Ace Race. 

5. The Spirit of MCC

This last one is more of a general statement than a misconception, but I would like to say that I have seen a lot of newer fans confused and upset about this MCC’s outcome. However, I would like to remind everyone that at the end of the day MCC is a for-fun tournament which brings MCYTs of every background to compete and have fun. Yes, there is an element of competitiveness as it is a competition, but it goes against the very spirit of the competitions to be toxic and rude in spite of not winning or placing lower than you expected. At the end of the day, it is a MC tournament that has no monetary prize other than a golden coin. It is immature to slander, spread misinformation, or send death threats and harassment over such a tournament and I wish shame upon anyone who’s first reaction to not winning or their team not winning was to do such a thing. MCC is a brilliant tournament that has changed the game for how MC Competitions have been done, and it is disheartening to see the hard work Noxcrew and Scott have done be disrespected as such. I hope next MCC the fandom can come together and make this the lovely fandom event it once was. 

[cquackity]

can I hear more about why you dislike ancient cities :0? /genq (I haven’t played minecraft for a while bc my switch is dead so I haven’t experienced them myself)

oh yeah absolutely. the recent update has really fucked over ancient cities for bedrock. it's made it not even enjoyable to raid them anymore. which is something i was worried about when i first saw they planned to add more shriekers to bedrock. my friends and i go to quite a few ancient cities too! they were so much fun before the shrieker amount was beefed. i'm going on a very long rant so i'm putting this under the cut

there is currently an issue with shrieker cool down not working properly. at least that's our running theory. according the the wiki, and how things were before this past update, it takes four strikes to spawn in a warden. you're given one warning level for every time you activate a shrieker. this warning level also decreases every ten minutes. and when we go we always keep track of what time someone set off a shrieker at and how high our warning levels are. last night holly and i were literally writing this shit down.

so the exact issue we're having is for some reason multiple shriekers can be set off at once as of right now. which just shouldn't be possible. there is a 10 second cool down between when you activate one shrieker and can activate another. they only shriek for 4.5 seconds. so for some reason last night my warning level jumped from 1 to 4 and a warden was immediately spawned. which again shouldn't be fucking possible and doesn't make any sense. when i say we enjoy going to ancient cities i mean we really do love doing this all the fucking time. enough so that holly nearly has a stack of god apples, i have over a double chest's worth of diamond horse armor, and bell has half a double chest just full of copies of otherside. we have done this song and dance plenty of times before. and never before this update have we spawned the warden (save one time. which was the first time i'd ever entered a city) and now with the update it's been four fucking times now.

with the beefing of spawn rates for them there's also been a huge increase of shriekers hidden in walls/are completely inaccessible. how is that fair? and how is that fun? having more shriekers would be fine if they spawned and functioned like they did before. but there's not even a chance at this point to get it without upping your warning level. like for example check out this youtuber and what he dealt with. there was a shrieker imbedded in the skulk.

there's no strategy you can use for shriekers like this. what the fuck are we supposed to do? see through walls? there's no winning. there's nothing you can do because it's made for you to lose. and when has minecraft ever operated like that before? a game that encourages creativity, encourages alternative approaches to problem solving now suddenly has no way to feasibly complete a task without some level of failure. that is absolute bullshit to me.

spawning the warden would be less of a big deal, maybe even something you'd actually want to do- if not only do his attacks ignore your armor (last night i had to combat log him to avoid being 2HKO'D in full enchanted netherite) but there's also not even a point to fighting him as of right now! he drops literally nothing interesting or of value! wow!

the ancient cities update is just. incomplete. it has been incomplete since it dropped. and whenever they attempt to update it or fix things it only gets worse. i really miss when it was fun because i loved going there with my friends. even though it was still scuffed before this last update it was at least still fun. :(

my rant here hasn't even mentioned how bedrock is an accessibility nightmare. they really just fucking hate bedrock players. so that also adds to the difficulty of dealing with ancient cities. this post by my dear friend talks more about it <- i highly recommend reading this. it has my exact thoughts on this subject. aaand now i will stop before i continue to bitch until the heat death of the universe.

[bumblesimagines]

Green Thumb

Part 20

Request: Yes or No

~

"Time travel sounds fun until you see how cringy you used to be." You said, watching Nebula fix some things on the suit Scott had on.

"I've never been cringy." Scott said. You stayed silent in response, glancing at Rhodes. Scott blinked, scoffing softly as you giggled.

"You're great, Scott." You gave a tired smile. Bruce went to put in the red capsules.

"Hey- Hey, be careful!"

"I'm being very careful." Bruce replied.

"No, you're being very Hulky." Scott put in the capsules himself. Even if Bruce was careful, he could still crush whatever was in there without even thinking about it. It was weird seeing Bruce in Hulks body but you supposed it helped end the beef they had. Scott and Bruce went back and forth until he turned small and big in a second.

"Alright, one test run." Scott gave a sheepish smile, glancing at everyone in the room. "I'm not ready for this."

"I'm game." You turned your head, looking at Clint. You crossed your arms, a soft sigh leaving you.

"I'll do it." Clint shrugged. Scott licked his lips, looking at Bruce. Bruce gave him a small nod so Scott walked out of the room to change out of the suit. Clint followed.

"So.. He got a new tattoo." Rhodes glanced at you. You licked your lips, shrugging lightly. Rhodes sighed, leaving the room momentarily before returning with some twizzlers. He offered one to you, giving a small smile. You took it, taking a small bite from it as Clint walked into the room with the suit on. Nebula made sure everything was good with the suit.

"Clint, you're gonna feel a little discombobulated from the shift. Don't worry about it." Bruce told him.

"Wait, wait.. Let me ask you something. If we can do this, you know go back in time, why don't we just find baby Thanos and just.." Rhodes made a wrapping and squeezing motion.

"I mean, it's a solid idea. Baby Thanos was probably real ugly anyways." You said, chewing on the candy. Bruce stared at you and Rhodes in disbelief.

"First of all, that's horrible-"

"It's Thanos."

"And secondly, time doesn't work that way. Changing the past doesn't change the future."

"We go back and get the stones before Thanos gets them.. Thanos doesn't get the stones!" Scott said, shrugging. Rhodes nodded, motioning to him.

"Problem solved!"

"Bingo." Clint nodded as Nebula glanced at them, giving a small shake of her head.

"That's not how it works." She muttered.

"Anyways, who told you that?"

"Star Trek, Terminator, Time Cop, Time After Time, Wrinkle in Time, Hot Tub Time Machine-"

"So, any movie with time in the name." You said with a chuckle.

"Well, it doesn't work like that. If you travel to the past, that past becomes your future and your former present becomes your past." Bruce explained. You hummed, continuing to munch on the twizzler.

"If time travel works.. That means there's different versions of ourselves in different.. Dimensions, right? Like living things we've lived and making decisions we'll eventually make?"

"Yes, actually." Bruce nodded, glad that at least someone was getting it.

"For example, my past self might be in Sokovia fighting Ultron right now while my future self might be relaxing on a beach." Bruce said with a shrug. You hummed, nodding.

"I wonder what my future self is doing.."

"Probably getting therapy instead of napping and drinking." Rhodes muttered, glancing at you. You scoffed softly.

"You drink?" Clint questioned, brows furrowing as a frown tugged at his lips. You shifted your gaze back to the man you used to call dad and shrugged.

"Occasionally." Once the suit was good to go and Bruce had told Clint everything he needed to do, you followed the guys and Nebula to the platform Rocket had built. It was surprising how much a raccoon could built. You glanced at Thor, giving him a small nod. Bruce walked up to the controls, the others standing behind him as they watched Clint stand in the center.

"Alright, Clint.. We're going in three.. Two.." You could tell Clint was nervous, you were too. Despite everything, he had still been someone who took you in and loved you. You slowly chewed on the twizzler, gaze flickering around the platform. To Clint it could feel like hours but it would merely be seconds for you and the others. Clint suddenly appeared, falling on the ground. The helmet retracted as he panted. Natasha quickly rushed up onto the platform with you following incase he had injuries. Natasha helped him up, getting him grounded as Clint looked around.

"I saw her... I saw Lila again.." Clint panted. You stared at him, swallowing as your grip on the twizzler tightened. Clint tossed a baseball glove at Tony, nodding.

"It worked." Clint said. A sense of relief filled you along with everyone. There was a chance at getting everyone back. The team turned, heading to an office in order to talk more and come up with a game plan. You finished your twizzler, taking a seat and watching Tony pull up pictures of the stones.

"We gotta find out the when and the where." Steve said, looking over all of the stones.

"Almost everyone in this room has had at least one encounter with an infinity stone." Steve turned his attention onto everyone. You supposed Vision counted as an encounter.

"Or substitute encounter by being damn near killed by one of the stones." Tony added, shrugging as he sipped on his coffee.

"I haven't." Scott piped in. "I have no clue what the hell you're talking about."

"Regardless, we only have enough pinparticles for one trip each and these stones have been in a lot of different places throughout history." Bruce said, slowly walking around the office.

"Our history." Tony reminded him. "So, not alot of convenient spots to drop in."

"Which means we'll have to pick our targets." Clint muttered. Tony nodded, shooting him the side eye. You cocked a brow when you made eye contact with Tony. Tony simply patted your shoulder.

"Let's start with the ether. Thor, what do you know?" Steve asked, everyones' attention shifting onto the god of lighting. Thor sat in a corner, coke bottle in hand and sunglasses on.

"Is he asleep?" Natasha asked after Thor didn't answer. You stared at him. The last five years had definitely been rough for him.

"Pretty sure he's dead." Rhodes mumbled. You sighed, reaching forward and grabbing a cup of water. You made it turn ice cold before tossing it at the god. Thor jolted awake, looking down at his wet shirt.

"Thor, the reality stone. What do you know about it?" Steve asked again, watching him stand and approach the picture of the reality stone. You listened to Thors' rambling, turning to look at Tony. Scott was the only one interested in what he had to say. Tony approached him, urging him to sit.

"Alright.. Who's next?"

~~~~~~~~~~

You stared at the pictures. Three stones in New York, one in Asgard, and the other two in Morag. You looked at Steve as he approached the hologram.

"Alright, we have a plan. Six stones, three teams. One shot." Steve said. You swallowed, glancing at Rocket and Thor. You had been assigned on their team. Just in case. You stood up with the others, going off to change. You stared at the two pictures in your locker. One of the Barton family and the other of the Stark family. You headed towards the platform after changing, standing beside Thor and Rocket.

"Stay safe." Natasha said softly, giving your arm a squeeze. Steve gave a pep talk before you put your helmet on. You absolutely hated the feeling as you went through what looked like a blue tunnel. When you blinked, you were in Asgard. Thor held a finger up to his lips, passing by a room. You followed, glancing back and seeing his brother. You had never officially met Loki but he was an odd dude. You reached a hall, standing besides Thor. You listened to the women talk in the hall. You shared a look with Rocket.

"There's Jane." Thor whimpered, shaking his head. Rocket sighed.

"Alright.." Rocket hopped off the stone block, looking at you and Thor.

"You're gonna charm her, (Y/N) will be our lookout, and I'll poke her with this thing, get the stone, and we'll be gone." Rocket said, watching Thor. You gave a nod but Thor sniffled.

"I'll be right back. The wine cellar is just down here. My father used to have this huge barrel of ale." You stared at Thor, letting out a sigh as you scratched your forehead. You heard a door opening and quickly ducked besides Rocket.

"Yes, and could you also let me know when Gaia plans on visiting again?" You blinked, feeling your body freeze. You slowly stood, glancing at Thor as he slowly walked down the hall, gaze on the woman.

"Who's the fancy woman?" Rocket asked, hopping onto the stone. You swallowed, turning your head and looking at the woman.

"That's my mother..." Thor answered. Your eyes slightly widened, turning to face Thor. You opened your mouth to ask him a question.

"She dies today." Thor whispered. You shut your mouth, frowning. You licked your lips, gaze flickering around.

"How.. How does she know Gaia?" You asked softly. Thor glanced at you with furrowed brows.

"She was a friend of my mothers'." Thor answered. He looked back at where his mother had been, shaking his head.

"I can't do this." He breathed out, beginning to pant softly. You and Rocket faced him. Rocket told Thor to get closer as Thor rambled. You blinked as Rocket slapped him, almost laughing at the sight of a raccoon slapping a god.

"You think you're the only one who lost people? What do you think we're doing here? I lost the only family I ever had. Same with nature boy over here. I get you miss your mom, but she's gone. Really gone and there are plenty of people who are kind of gone. You can help them. So is it too much to ask that you brush the crumbs out of your beard, talk to the girl, and when she's not looking, suck the infinity stone and help us get our families back?" Rocket stared at him. Thor nodded, a small whimper leaving him as his eyes watered.

"Thor, calm down." You said softly, placing a gentle hand on his arm. "You're the god of lighting, Thor. You can do this."

"Yeah, yeah, I can." Thor nodded. You gave him a small smile, following Raccoon towards the door. You turned, hearing footsteps rushing away. You sighed.

"He's gone." You muttered. Rocket groaned softly.

"You go after him. I'll go get the stone." Rocket said, turning around and walking towards the room.

"I don't know this place." You huffed, looking at the talking raccoon. Rocket let out an exasperated sigh.

"Be my lookout." He mumbled. You walked towards the room Jane was in, watching Rocket enter. You stood infront of the doors, gaze flickering around. You had no idea what you were gonna do if somebody asked you what you were doing. You swallowed, glancing in the direction Thors' mother had gone in.

"He'll be fine." You assured yourself, speedwalking in the direction. You spotted Thor, quietly walking towards him.

"Thor-"

"Shh." He brought up a finger to his lips. Thor grabbed you, keeping you hidden behind the pillar as his mother passed by. She dismissed her girls. You and Thor peeked around the corner.

"What are you doing?" You flinched, letting out a yelp as a woman yelped as well. You turned and faced her, watching her look at Thor. Thor suddenly grabbed you, covering you with his jacket.

"You're better off leaving the sneaking to your brother." The woman said, head tilting.

"What are you wearing? Who is this?" She asked, stepping forward. You swatted Thor's arm away, clearing your throat.

"Uhm, I'm- I'm (Y/N)." You said. Rocket was gonna kill you.

"Frigga." She gave a polite smile. "What are you wearing?" Friggas' brows furrowed, looking Thor over. Frigga slowly approached her son, placing a hand on his cheek. Thor rambled slightly. Frigga smiled softly.

"You're not the Thor I know, are you?" She asked softly.

"Yes I am."

"The future hasn't been kind to you, has it?" She gently brushed some hair out of his face. You watched her, gaze softening. You could see why Thor loved his mother so much. They shared a tight hug, something Thor had desperately needed.

"Let's talk." Frigga smiled. You tuned out as Thor spoke to his mother. You walked around her room, looking over the glass. You licked your lips, looking over at them.

"How do you know Gaia?" You asked softly. Frigga turned to look you curiously.

"Like, uhm, Thor told me but I.. I wanna know more." You said, facing her. Frigga tilted her head, slowly approaching you.

"Gaia? What would you want with her?"

"She's my mother and she.. She kind of abandonded me." You shrugged lightly, letting out a small awkward laugh. Frigga hummed, gaze softening.

"Gaia's in.. It's hard to explain. She's in The Garden. She lives there and it's how she watches over her creations." Frigga explained.

"How do I get there?"

"Fairy rings. Only certain people have access to her portals." Frigga said. You nodded, keeping it in mind. Thor stood, approaching you and his mom.

"Mother, I must tell you something-"

"No, Thor." Frigga turned to face her son, pressing a finger to his lips.

"Mother-"

"Guys!" Rocket shouted, running towards you. "You were supposed to watch the door!"

"I know." You gave an apologetic smile. Rocket shook his head, showing the stone.

"I got it." He breathed out. "Oh, hey, you must be mom."

"I wish we had more time." Thor said softly. Frigga smiled gently, grabbing his hands.

"This was a gift. Now you go and be the man you were meant to be." Frigga said softly. Thor gave her a sad smile.

"I love you, mom."

"I love you." Frigga hugged Thor tightly. She pulled back and smiled. Rocket began to count but Thor stopped him. He extended his hand towards the balcony area. You and Rocket shared a look.

"W-What are we looking at?" He asked.

"It takes a second." Frigga chuckled softly. Thors hammer returned to him, making him beam. You smiled softly as the suit returned.

"Nice meeting you." You said.

"Same here." Frigga smiled, giving a small wave. The helmet came on and you went back through the nauseating blue tunnel. You grunted, shutting your eyes tightly.

"Yeah, fuck that." You muttered, rubbing your forehead. You looked around, noticing Clint fall to his knees with teary eyes.

"Where's Nat?"

~~~~~

Tags: @geek-and-proud @wolfelocksley @babyvisionisamenace @jjk-is-my-shit

[lovethisletters]

Poly MC! hc for the: Demon Brothers!

This is my first time writing anything about poly relationships! So I'm a bit nervous! I took the time to do a bit of research about the subject...however I still have a lot to learn; if you find anything that might be offensive please let me know! Just know I didn't do it with any ill intentions and I'll make sure to correct my mistakes!

Also I didn't knew if you refered to a poly MC who is in a relationship with all of the brothers or how each individual brother would react to MC coming out as poly to them and later starting a poly relationship and how they behave in said relationship...so I did the latter bc I found it to be a bit more easy to write and the first option would have been way too long and I was worried it might come off as boring because of it :c (but maybe I'll try to edit it and then upload it...some day...idk)

so...here it is!

Keys: MC = your main character name

Summary: MC comes out as poly to the Demon Brothers and how they behave in a poly relationship!

Additional notes: MC is gender neutral!

TW: small mentions or implications of jealous/possessive behavior (they're very minimal, but still...just in case)

▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️

Lucifer

Lucifer is probably the one you're the most nervous to talk to.

But when you finally find the courage to do so it goes...to put it mildly, a bit... weird.

He stares blankly at you like you just said to him that water is a liquid or something, he's not very...responsive.

His reaction might come off as rude, considering you spend all this time trying to figure out the "best" way to come out and talk about the possibility of starting a poly relationship.

But the reason why he's not talking much is because he's trying to avoid saying anything he might regret later, you see... he's trying to process his own feelings towards the matter.

Lucifer is someone who has lived for a long, looooooong time, so it's more likely than not that he's already experienced being in a poly relationship.

thing is...such relationship was more experimentation rather than something serious.

And now he has you...someone for who he'll be willing to die for...

He won't say it but deep down he feels like his pride has been bruised.

He just doesn't want to "share" you, you're his and his alone!

But when he looks up at you, and see just how nervous you are, waiting patiently for any kind of reaction from him.

He realizes he's thinking of you as an object and not a person and mentally kicks himself in the face for it.

Lucifer reaches for your hand and offers you a small smile.

After a long conversation where you two express your own desires and worries, you two agree and decide to give it a try.

At first... I'm not gonna lie...it would be quite... difficult...

The man is possessive and struggles to see you giving any kind of affection to any of his brothers.

However I think he genuinely wants this to work, he wants to see you happy and knows that just because you also love his brothers doesn't mean you love him any less.

So he'll sit down and talk to you whenever he feels jealous, he knows communication is key and it honestly makes him feel a bit better.

With time Lucifer comes to accept it; He loves you and he loves his brothers and it makes him happy that they all can share such bond with you.

Mammon

I think he's the one who'll have a harder time adapting to a poly relationship.

I'll even go as far to say Lucifer's jealousy pales in comparison to Mammon's and I think this is due to his low self-esteem.

He won't accept it but he's jealous af when he sees you "getting cozy" with any of his brothers.

He'll even interrupt the moment by placing himself in the middle of whoever you were getting close to or think about some lame excuse to take you away.

This makes things more difficult and tense for everyone, so if Mammon continues his shenanigans expect a LOT more arguing from the brothers...(yes...more than normal...)

You'll have to sit him down and talk to him about his insecurities.

The first times he won't be very open with you, I think he might even get a bit angry if you even imply he's jealous and act all offended and walk out of the room.

Surprisingly the one who makes him understand how toxic he's being and how much this affects you is Asmo!

He'll have a serious talk with him, and just the fact of seeing his often bubbly and cheerful young bro being all serious is enough for Mammon to realize that what he's been doing and how he's been acting hurts you and his brothers.

He'll apologize...the Mammon way...

But ultimately he now makes an effort to respect whenever you're close to one of his brothers.

Just like Lucifer. Mammon will come to accept you love him and his brothers all the same.

He'll sometimes even suggest places you all can go together for a date.

Please, be patient with the avatar of greed with time he will come to accept that love exist in more than one way or form.

Leviathan

Surprisingly, unlike his older brothers, your favorite shut-in-otaku has an easier time adapting to a poly relationship.

Easier, however does not mean problems are inexistent...

He has a low self-esteem and sometimes might get the feeling that you're ""picking favorites""

However he won't tell you anything about it, and he'll just try to pretend like nothing is wrong.

Fortunately for you, Levi is quite easy to read so you immediately notice whenever he's feeling sad.

But all you have to do is have a little gaming session with him, and as the two of you "game" the night away he'll eventually open up to you about whatever is bothering him.

All it takes is a little reassurance and saying "I love you" to the avatar of envy from time to time and he'll be all good with you showing affection to the rest of his brothers.

Satan

Uhhhh...this is a tricky one...

You see...Satan is probably the second brother you came out to and perhaps you didn't even realized that you did because it just happened so natural.

The two of you were talking and it just slipped out of your mouth and he was like "hahaha, right?" And continued the conversation as normal.

He genuinely doesn't care, (don't get me wrong I don't mean that in a bad way) but all he knows is that he loves you and he wants you to be happy, and if expanding the love that the two of you have to his brothers makes you happy, then so be it!

However... remember I said this was tricky?

Satan has no issue with you being affectionate with his brothers...all of them except for Lucifer...

When he sees you getting close to Lucifer he won't say anything, he won't make a scene or a passive-agressive remark, he'll just excuse himself and exit the room. (Neither he will confront you about it later when the two of you are alone)He won't say anything at all; he'll just stay silent and pretend like nothing is wrong.

However you'll be able to notice Satan's true feelings whenever Lucifer has a small present or gesture with you.

Oh? Lucifer gifted you a $300,000 coat? Well, Satan will give you another coat but this one is $600,000.

Lucifer treated you to dinner at ristorante six? Well, darling... guess what? Satan will reserve the entire building just for you!

At some point he will notice how bad this makes you feel, since he's turning a relationship into a competition and that's no good...

He'll eventually take a step back and realize how childish he's being, how his behavior hurts your feelings and might have even made you feel guilty or responsible for his beef with his older brother.

Before you even decide to talk to him about it, he already knows what you're trying to say, so he'll be the one to sit you down and apologize for his wrongdoings.

You're someone who he values dearly and all that he wants is for you to be happy, so he'll be willing to make the effort to get along or at least be a little more tolerant of Lucifer.

There might be times where they still fight and stop talking to each other for long periods of time, but the two of them will take the time to let you know that this has nothing to do with you and that there's no reason for you tu feel guilty.

Because if there's something in wich both, the avatar of pride and wrath agree in... Is in how much they love you.

Asmodeus

Asmodeus (definitely) was the first one to know about you being polyamorous.

He probably knew before you even said anything, let's be honest here...

He's probably the one who you're more comfortable talking about it.

The brothers accept you, yes...but Asmo understands you!

He knows that the world can be quite cruel to people who love differently to what our society stablish as "normal".

Whenever he expressed his liking for more than one person he was shamed or labeled as someone promiscuous who'll never be deserving of "true" love.

It happened in the celestial realm, in the human realm, and even sometimes here in the devildom.

Angels where expected to only focus in the lord and nothing else, some humans are close minded and shame whoever is different from them, and demon's often confuse love with obsession and get easily tangled up in possessive behavior, often viewing their partners as objects rather than individuals with their own goals and desires. (his brothers are the perfect example of that)

So he just knows how difficult it might have been for you to find acceptance.

So he gives it to you; acceptance, reassurance, however many times you need to.

He'll be the one to encourage you to talk with his brothers, he'll be there to support you if you ever feel nervous, and he'll be the one to call his brothers out on their bs whenever they start to show any signs of toxic behavior.

He knows in all relationships communication and trust in your partners is key to a successful relationship, so he reminds this to everyone and even goes as far as to make plans where everyone feels included.

Overall the avatar of lust is the voice of reason in this relationship, because he knows better than anyone else that love is something that can't and should never be limited by what others believe or expect "true love" should look like.

Beelzebub

You weren't sure how Beel would react once you told him.

But still you were pleasantly surprised by Beel's reaction!

He was so accepting from the beginning and even thanked you for trusting him enough to share this with him.

He's happy that you want him to form part of this relationship.

He knows his brothers love you as much as he does and that you love them back, so he sees this as the perfect option for everyone.

He even thinks this relationship has brought everyone closer together.

Over all the avatar of gluttony is more than happy to be with you and share your affection with people he holds equally as dearly.

Belphegor

Belphie, much like Lucifer struggles to understand why would you want such a thing?

Is his love not enough for you?

It takes little more time for him to understand you, and learn that love doesn't just limits to one person.

He can be a bit insensitive some times, so he might accidentally say something hurtful to you about it.

And that's when Asmo has to intervene...

He'll have a talk with his younger brother and make him realize that there's more than one form of love and how his words might have hurt you.

He'll apologize...(much like Mammon) in his own way...

After thinking about it for a while, he realizes he's happy whenever you show affection to Beel, and wonders if it would be the same with the rest of his brothers.

Slowly but surely, Belphie it's more open to this new relationship.

There'll be times where he might try to monopolize your love, but he'll stop once you, Beel or Asmo call him out on it.

His favorite thing of this new relationship is whenever you spend time with him and Beel.

Please be patient with the avatar of sloth.

▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️

If you find any grammatical errors let me know! I'm trying to improve my english and that would help me so so much!

I will forever thank you if you go check out my other profile: @aileysmirnov  where I post things about my OC: edits, one-shots, imagines, art, etc. If you like Greek mythology and the bat family maybe you would get to be as fond of her as much as I am!

Anyway, thank you for reading!

[betawooper]

rating every demon fight in kny bc i can

non-biased, completely objective rating (more or less) of every significant demon fight in kny based on a number of factors, including:

cleverness of fighting tactics

placement in the story’s timeline

integration of character backstories

cohesive themes between characters

etc

by non-biased and objective i mean i’m not skewing the rating if a death felt fair or whatever

everything past where the anime ended will be under a read more so anime onlys who havent watched mugen train, youre safe lol

oh and i reread the manga like 20+ times (reread the latter arcs at least 40 times, haha hyperfixations am i right?) so be rest assured im not pulling these ratings out of my ass

also ill randomly be bolding certain phrases just to improve readability

anyways let’s gooooo

VS NEZUKO

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou and Nezuko. Tanjirou is fending her off by putting the axe handle in her mouth, keeping her from eating him. End Image Description.]

10/10

i like how realistic it is, because yeah tanjirou would react the way to he did with zero fighting skills against a demon

very clear why tanjirou is fighting nezuko and shows a bit of worldbuilding on how normal people react to their family becoming demons

always nice to see worldbuilding

giyuu is the perfect example of a seasoned demon slayer who’s good at his job, and he juxtaposes tanjirou very well in that aspect

my only complaint is not directly in this fight itself but how nezuko is handled throughout the story as a whole

like bro, it is literally never explained why nezuko is different from demons

could have been easily explained if maybe her family’s ghosts like slapped her hand every time she wanted to eat a person but nope

she’s just built different lol

so yeah youll see future ratings get points docked off bc nezuko unlocks some secret power with no prior explanation other than she angy >:3

VS TEMPLE DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a demon. The demon has a sharp-nailed hand over his neck and there are four text bubbles around him saying “But a wound like this... will heal in no time! See? The bleeding already stopped!” End Image Description.]

10/10

may be more forgettable compared to like rui but still good

tanjirou did exceptionally well in this fight and his ability to think on his feet is once again beautifully illustrated here (trapping this dude’s head against the tree trunk with the axe)

very clever

again, establishes more demon worldbuilding regarding regeneration and still being able to move without their head

and the demons burning in the sunlight thing since nezuko wasn’t able to show that

the ending where tanjirou hesitates to kill the demon also serves to show his sympathetic nature towards demons that will last throughout the entirety of the first 60-ish chapters

:)

we’ll talk about what the hell happens to tanjirou after that

or not, it could honestly be its own post

VS HAND DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a many-handed demon. He has six hands around him, three of them covering his mouth while he chuckles, two of them grabbing his cheeks, and one holding on to the top of his head. There are two text bubbles saying “That’s how many of Urokodaki’s students I have eaten! I’ve decided to kill all of his students!” End Image Description.]

10/10

ooooh probably the first big fight against a demon in the series

oh yeah not doing the two random demons tanjirou one shot in a single blow bc eh

anyways hand demon’s pretty goddamn scary, considering the fact that this is the 5th demon or whatever tanjirou has had to face so far

very nice way to show us how much tanjirou’s innate intuition and all his other random abilities (sense of smell, hard forehead) can come together and help him decapitate this guy

i liked the mini history with urokodaki this dude had and why he had beef with our favorite mentor figure, it establishes that urokodaki was in fact a super good demon slayer and its cool to see that actually shown

i also liked that small moment of compassion tanjirou gave this demon, staying consistent with tanjirou’s established kindness

the demon’s sad tale with killing his own brother very much humanizes him when all the reader has seen up to this point is that this guy is a monster who eats people

sets up the theme of demons just being humans but being victims of circumstance that unfortunately doesn’t hold up as well in arcs past mugen train

VS SWAMP DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou fighting off three horned demons as they appear from below. There is a spiky text bubble saying “Three of them!!!” End Image Description.]

10/10

not my most favorite fight but it still portrays everything alright and im not allowed to let my personal opinions mess with the rating so

i like how tanjirou mentioned the fact that he trained in conditions similar to the bog and explains how he pulled off the whirlpool form

using past experiences to aid him in the present, nice nice

tanjirou and nezuko dont quite work together very well but its yknow the first mission so ill chalk it up to simple inexperience

also the way the muzan curse thingie was hinted at here? fantastic way of showing that little bit of demon worldbuilding

...

oh god, it mentions nezuko being stronger than normal demons

ok its not a problem here per say since i can still suspend my disbelief, but later on it just becomes a glaring problem that gets worse over time

VS SUSAMARU AND YAHABA

[Image Description: Manga panels of Susamaru and Yahaba. The first one is a joyful Susamaru about to throw a temari ball. There is floating text saying “Is she one of Kibutsuji’s minions?!” The second image is an annoyed Yahaba, holding one of his eye-hands to cover himself. There are two text bubbles around him saying “My kimono got all dusty. Tch!” End Image Description.]

9/10

why dont these bitches have a good looking panel together dammit

anyways amazing entrance, the way yahaba used his hand eyes to track down tanjirou is really neat

the synergy yahaba and susamaru have is incredible, its awesome dude, they work extremely well together and it shows

tanjirou actually mixing his water breathing forms together is a god tier move and i absolutely love how he can show off his ability to think on his feet once again

establishing how yushiro’s bda works early on is really well done

establishing tamayo as a fugitive this early on is also super well done

not to get into spoiler territory but both these things pay off

how tamayo ended up defeating susamaru is literally awesome in so many ways

shows off both how smart she is by exploiting the muzan curse

and speaking of the muzan curse, we actually get to see what happens to demons who even say his name, back when it was hinted with the swamp demon

tamayo is amazing dude, and we get some real evidence of the horrible suffering demons go through if they even accidentally attempt to betray muzan :D

...

now heres what keeps this fight from being perfect

nezuko somehow grew stronger against susamaru’s temari

with no explanation

which could have been easily explained if tamayo was like ��oh yeah the drug also boosts a demon’s strength temporarily”

but nope

god, i just dont like how gotouge handles nezuko’s power boosts throughout the series bc like i said before

no explanation is given anywhere

this is a huge issue, this isnt a pokemon game, you cant just kill demons and get exp at the end of every battle, level up, get some sweet stat bonuses and move on

(actually if gotouge established that this is how nezuko grew in power, than all my complaints about this would be gone, im not even joking)

anyways i get that nezuko is supposed to be “special” but thats too vague of a descriptor

how the hell is she special? ya gotta be more specific and stick with that explanation or that suspension of disbelief is going to disappear

VS TONGUE DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a four-eyed demon with horns and a long tongue. He is crawling in an awkward position, one foot in front of his tilted head. There are two text bubbles around him saying “Heh, heh! I’ll slurpy slurp your brains out through you ear!” End Image Description.]

10/10

not much to say, showcases zenitsu’s true abilities really well

nicely done

VS HORNED DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a big, single-horned demon. There are three text bubbles saying “You dodged! You’re awfully lively for a human! It’ll be a treat to carve away your flesh!” End Image Description.]

10/10

would have ignored this fight if not for the fact we havent seen inosuke fight before

it definitely shows how very fast-paced and wild inosuke is

no complaints here lol

VS KYOGAI

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kyogai, a demon with tsuzumi drums attached to his shoulders. There are four text bubbles around him saying “Why?! Why does everyone keep sneaking through my house? It’s so aggravating. It’s my prey! It’s my prey! Found in my territory!” End Image Description.]

10/10

establishes marechi blood pretty early on, once again expanding the worldbuilding of kny which is always cool

interesting terrain where it’s always shifting, tanjirou once again proves his ability to adapt really quickly by altering one of his forms to work with the turning room

(man, i wish the form mixing/form modification thing carried on throughout the rest of the story, but it really didnt which is just a shame)

the injuries tanjirou had prior to this mission actually affecting him was a nice touch

oh yeah, kyogai gives us more worldbuilding (which is always nice) regarding the 12 kizuki, and the aspect of him being cast out due to being weak shows a lot about muzan’s indifference towards his own demons if they arent strong

his backstory being a failed writer once again humanizes kyogai as a former human being and not just a monster

tanjirou shows his sympathy and compassion again by not stepping on his written work and complimenting his bda

well, tbh tanjirou’s actions kinda came out of nowhere but its a very minor thing and not enough to dock a point off, like it didnt affect the outcome of the fight that much if at all

(so if you see future battles where points are docked off for things not logically making sense, its bc whatever nonsensical concepts were integrated into the fight actually turned the tide of the battle and thats a big no-no)

very good fight and if you remember how kinda bad tanjirou was at accurately slicing the swamp demon, you can see that he’s already improved leaps and bounds

im so proud of him

VS MOTHER SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou and the Mother Spider Demon. There is a light shining down from the top right on to the demon as Tanjirou slices her head off, rain following in his wake. There is floating text saying “Water Breathing: Fifth Form - Blessed Rain After the Drought!” around them. End Image Description.]

10/10

i mean does anyone disagree?

all the demon slayers getting their necks snapped by her threads was pretty horrific, probably more horrifying than anything else we have seen in the entire series if im gonna be honest

the death scene is probably the most beautiful one in the series

it reveals a water breathing form that we havent seen before thats the 5th form

as far as i know, no other breathing style has this merciful sword stroke so it shows a lot about the original water breather and what they might have been like

but enough about them, really the focus is on tanjirou bc this is like the best example by far of how kind and sympathetic he is to demons

dunno what else to say, its perfect

VS SON SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Agatsuma Zenitsu performing Thunder Breathing 1st Form: Sixfold on a spider-like demon. Zenitsu is crashing through the roof of a shed, and a zig-zag path is left behind. There are sound effects all over the panel, saying “Bam!” in large font. End Image Description.]

10/10

chose a picture without a huge spider on it bc i would like to not scare myself half to death

anyways extremely amazing fight, showcases zenitsu’s immense talent and skill, adapting the 1st form of thunder breathing to be a more versatile move

theres a moment where his backstory with kuwajima and kaigaku were revealed and his hidden insecurities are out in the open which is super nice and further develops a character weve only considered as comedic relief until now

the anime made the backstory scenes and the killing scene so much cooler

while there is no thematic connection between zenitsu and the demon, it really isnt necessary to keep this fight interesting

anyways another pretty much perfect fight

VS FATHER SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou and Inosuke slashing at the Father Spider Demon. The demon has blocked Tanjirou’s sword with his arm, and Inosuke is slamming both his blades down on the demon’s other hand. End Image Description.]

10/10

again, not my most favorite fight but it does everything right

i do have to say it was excellent how gotouge hyped up the father spider demon to be the big bad, only just so the plot twist later takes the readers by surprise

nicely done

VS DAUGHTER SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kochou Shinobu and the Daughter Spider Demon. Shinobu’s back is seen and her haori looks like a butterfly’s wings keeping her afloat as she holds her stinger blade out to the side. The demon looks surprised as blood gushes from her side, arm, shoulder, chest, neck, and forehead. There is floating text on the panel, saying “Insect Breathing - Butterfly Dance - Caprice!” End Image Description.]

10/10

first time weve seen shinobu and her fighting style

what i love most about this is how much it shows her true character, appearing as a carefree and naive individual so she seems underwhelming

then bam, reveals exactly how dangerous and uncaring she is of demons, listing out the specific ways she would torture the daughter spider demon in grotesque detail

her using poison to take demons by surprise is also super clever and brings back the worldbuilding established way earlier about wisteria being poisonous to demons

amazing integration of that concept

anyways this fight really encapsulates who shinobu is as a character and thats why it gets a perfect score

VS RUI

[Image Description: Manga panel of Rui holding his hand out directly towards the viewer. There are two text bubbles around him, saying “Give me your sister. If you hand her over quietly, I’ll spare your life.” End Image Description.]

8/10

not only is it a super scary fight but there is a deeper conflict between rui and tanjirou, what it means to be family

they are opposites in the sense that while tanjirou believes love is what makes a family, rui’s subconscious desperation for an unbreakable bond drives him to use fear to keep his “family” together

excellent juxtaposition of their values, and this is only further emphasized when rui expresses out loud what he was going to do to nezuko

i also like the symbolism regarding rui’s bda, how he uses threads or the “familial” bonds to cut up his fake family with it if they act out of turn or annoy him

super neat detail

alright what i dont like about this fight is nezuko (again)

mostly her unlocking her bda to turn the tide of the battle bc her mom was like “yo, wake up, your brother is going to be killed”

feels... forced ig

her bda in general is confusing and not consistent

man, i wish i could make a stronger argument for this but i do believe the problem stems from the fact that we dont ever know what nezuko is thinking, and what she thinks of tanjirou specifically

if she even cares for him as a sibling or if shes only going along with what her family is saying to her, things like that which would have been fixed if gotouge actually gave her thoughts some screen time

so the action feels pretty shallow

im also conflicted over tanjirou somehow remembering how dance of the fire god works

on one hand, hes using past information and applying it in the current setting so he doesnt die, which is understandable

but on the other hand, this was a teeny bit random?

i think what could have fixed this is if there was a scene in the beginning of the series where tanjirou was performing it himself, like practicing before he actually had to do it for new years

so that when the rui fight rolls around, it would have felt less like throwing dry spaghetti at a wall

but yeah

overall super good fight, giyuu ending up having to kill rui instead of tanjirou was super good in that tanjirou didnt become a pillar this early in the series and to show how strong giyuu is

there are some odd bits regarding the ultimate “beheading” of rui using nezuko and tanjirous supposed bonds but it doesnt kill the fight entirely so it deserves its pretty high score

***under read more is manga-only fights so beware***

VS ENMU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Enmu holding his hand out directly at the viewer, with a mouth on the back of it. There is floating text to the top right of Enmu that says “Whispers of Forced Unconscious Hypnosis!” End Image Description.]

9/10

id say this fight is definitely overshadowed by the dream stuff prior to this but its pretty good in its own right

enmu fusing with the train was kinda confusing, like when was it established that demons could fuse with objects?

this worldbuilding element doesnt even appear again so yeah thats why it loses a point

how the kmbk gang end up defeating enmu is pretty sweet though, tanjirou using dance of the fire god to sever the neck bone was really nice and shows that him using the breathing style in the rui fight wasnt a one time thing

while kyojuro’s role was smaller in this part, the next part makes up for it so i cant complain

anyways ye, almost perfect score but its pretty good

VS AKAZA (MUGEN TRAIN)

[Image Description: Manga panel of Akaza holding his hand out to the viewer’s left. There is a text bubble saying “Why don’t you become a demon?” End Image Description.]

10/10

this encounter is literally amazing okay?

after the crew kills the big bad, it seems like everything is fine

but plot twist, upper moon 3 appears out of nowhere

this is the first time the reader has seen an upper moon, let alone the 3rd/4th strongest demon in existence and the way gotouge handled this twist is fucking amazing

kyojuro’s death scene really shows just how human even the strongest pillars are against demons with incredible power

its just

amazing

VS OBI DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panels of the obi-like demon. The first image shows the obi hung in the air and strung over each other like decorations, with women-shaped patterns in its folds. The second image is Hashibira Inosuke fighting the Obi demon which now has lips and eyes. There is floating text in that panel saying “Breath of the Beast: Sixth Fang - Jagged Gnaw!!” End Image Description.]

10/10

on to red light district

this fight is admittedly super forgettable and not very interesting at least compared to the main fight with daki and gyutaro

but it wraps up the sub plot of the women and uzui’s wives going missing so it gets a perfect score for not messing that up

oh and it establishes the stretchy neck thing daki has going on which is very good

VS DAKI AND GYUTARO

[Image Description: Manga panel of Daki and Gyutaro. Daki is sitting on Gyutaro’s shoulders. There is a text bubble on the top right that says “The two of us are one, after all.” as well as floating text that reads “The power of the irregular siblings...!? Next issue lead color and the fight reaches its climax!!” End Image Description.]

8/10

love how this battle challenges tanjirou’s sympathy and kindness towards demons, just simply bc daki and gyutaro are horrible people

(too bad nothing came of this, which ill explain in the hantengu portion)

daki and gyutaro are very good villains and kept this fight super interesting from start to finish

uzui acting as a foil to gyutaro is nicely integrated and properly shown with how jealous gyutaro gets over seeing uzui’s perfect form and stature

tanjirou not only mixes forms but mixes breathing styles as well, which is so fucking awesome

(too bad it was only used like once throughout the entire series, its quite unfortunate)

the super high tension right after inosuke gets stabbed and tanjirou wakes up was expertly portrayed and handled, it felt like the kmbk gang and uzui were actually going to lose

super awesome

the tanjirou and gyutaro parallels are expertly portrayed, with how gyutaro taunts tanjirou over failing to protect his little sister, and the more visual thing where tanjirou imagined his own neck underneath his blade, that was super duper nice

the ending is extremely tense and emotionally gripping, gotouge did a really good job with that artistically too

the demon mark acquisition scene was surprisingly not frustrating, considering that it wasnt really explained prior to the battle

i do think it has to do with how it was explained later just exactly how they worked so its not just some random thing gotouge pulled out of their ass

so pretty good

/

what i dont like is nezuko and her full power demon form

first of all where the fuck did that come from? she just got angry and suddenly shes as powerful as an upper moon

like

how?

that doesnt make sense???

her extremely quick regeneration makes no sense

her ability to manipulate her blood’s properties makes no sense

and it doesnt even appear again so what was the point of that existing

none of this is even explained later which annoys me

that one part where tanjirou sings a lullaby to her to calm her down was alright ig but nezuko in this fight makes me extremely irritated and frustrated

just ugh

VS HANTENGU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Hantengu opening a shoji door. He is crawling inside, his hand in a gnarled, unnatural position. There is a text bubble saying “Eeeeeeek.” End Image Description.]

1/10

swordsmith village

this fight can go fuck itself /j

no but seriously it has so many problems that it would be shorter to name its redeeming qualities (which ill do later)

first off, the nezuko full power form thing again

i hate it so much with a passion

again, where did her ability to regenerate instantly even come from???? this is never explained, ever

and why did she cut herself on tanjirou’s sword anyway

did she somehow know that it was going to turn red if she burned it?

gotouge what the fuck, there is literally no reason why nezuko would do that and we cant even read her mind to see her thought process

gotouge hates nezuko, i swear

/

remember when i said uzui is meant to be a foil to gyutaro in the rld fight? its pretty obvious that those two are opposites, it was nicely done

... what the hell does mitsuri’s insecurities about strength have to do with whatever the fuck hantengu has going on (which is basically nothing)?

so no meaningful connection between mitsuri and hantengu

theres no meaningful connection between tanjirou and hantengu other than tanjirou getting pissed off for like the second time

also tanjirou’s thing with being kind and sympathetic to demons was entirely dropped at this point

but instead of it leading up to a corruption arc of some sorts, it just doesnt

like honestly if something actually came of that anger he exhibited in this arc and from red light district from this point forward story-wise, i would have counted this as an amazing writing decision

but it literally doesnt so who cares

(god, i really start to hate what happened to his character after this )

and genya’s revealed motivation also doesnt fit at all with hantengu’s thing, he’s not a foil, not a parallel, nothing, there is nothing

/

tanjirou being the catharsis for development for mitsuri and muichirou, who he has only talked to like twice

theres definitely a better way to handle those two’s developments without his help

like gotouge, you have a big cast of characters, use them lol

/

i want to kick hantengu in the face for being boring as fuck (at least his clones have cool looking weapons)

doesnt even have a proper backstory, just a single spread of him being blamed for shit as a human

like... thats it? this is upper moon 4 what the hell

/

theres no clever form mixing here at all (regarding tanjirou) which probably would have helped with foreshadowing the 13th form for dance of the fire god/sun breathing better

also gotouge established that as tanjirou’s thing and now he doesnt do that stuff anymore which sucks

/

oh hey remember when tanjirou actually learned how to do zenitsu’s speed boost thing?

if you didnt, i dont blame you bc it literally doesnt appear again, ever

you could argue that he adapted it into his “waltz flash” technique or whatever the fuck that is but the way it was integrated into this fight was like throwing dry spaghetti at a wall

which is just a shame bc its meant to be representative of how tanjirou and zenitsu are good pals but the way it was utilized is forgettable as hell

/

i absolutely loathe the crimson blade concept as a whole and im mentioning this now bc its going to come into play why future instances where this goddamn thing comes up again causes points to be lost

its inconsistent as fuck ill tell you that

/

at least some yoriichi stuff appeared here and not shoved into the final battle with everything else

so the yoriichi stuff later didnt come out of absolute nowhere

genya and mitsuri’s unique fighting styles expand the kny worldbuilding just a little more which is always nice

tanjirou got a cool sword out of this which would have been cooler if him and yoriichi had a deeper connection that was actually explored

but we didnt get shit so whatever

other people getting demon marks being revealed here is also okay so that again, the final battle isnt filled with absolutely everyone getting their marks at once

demon marks have their own slew of problems but its not as bad as the fucking crimson sword shit

god i hate the crimson sword shit

...

dude this section needs a tldr, even i cant sit and read through my shit

TL;DR - this fight sucks and crimson swords are bullshit (more on this later)

VS GYOKKO

[Image Description: Manga panel of Tokitou Muichirou and Gyokko. Muichirou is looking to the left while Gyokko is looking to the right, both with their backs to each other. There are mist clouds billowing in the foreground and background, as well as a slash mark going across Gyokko’s neck. End Image Description.]

7/10

this fight suffers from the same lack of cohesive themes through characters like the hantengu battle bc the antagonist is given nothing

but its better

we havent actually seen mui fight before so theres no consistencies that the reader has to keep track of for now

and there arent like 10 characters in the fight so this fight gets a lot of points just for being a lot more coherent

i do like that this fight shows just how good mui is that he can defeat an upper moon by himself

mui’s backstory is neat

gyokko’s bda is very interesting too

... thats pretty much it lol

ye, anyways not the best fight but not the worst fight either

VS KAIGAKU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kaigaku holding the hilt of his blade with one hand. There is two text bubbles around him, saying “...As usual, you’re still shabby. It’s been a while, Zenitsu.” End Image Description.]

9/10

alright on to final battle arc

theres some good fights and then some really sucky ones, but this one was pretty incredible and very emotionally charged

theres a clear reason why zenitsu and kaigaku are battling each other (kai betrayed the corps and inadvertantly caused the only parental figure in zenitsu’s life to die, and zenitsu is rightfully pissed off about that)

the visual yin-yang symbolism is awesome too

zenitsu winning due to using the 7th form he created himself (which i have reason to believe was inspired by tanjirou) was the perfect ending to the fight, really couldnt ask for anything better and is a perfect example of how much of an effect tanjirou has had on zenitsu

the 7th form is what tanjirou’s waltz flash should have been lol

/

what keeps this fight from being absolutely perfect is lack of development prior to this conflict

(since the final battle arc is basically a culmination of all the hinted developments through the series, im going to actually factor in how much and how well these conflicts were foreshadowed)

anyways if we had actually seen zenitsu, kaigaku, and kuwajima actually interacting with each other and showing how they were essentially a family (not just through flashbacks), it would have made zenitsu placing the responsibility of killing kai onto himself a lot more tragic

but like, apart from brief flashbacks where zenitsu actually met kaigaku off screen and that one thing all the way back in natagumo where both kuwajima and kai were introduced, thats pretty much it in terms of thunder family development

so yeah its underdeveloped for sure

also one random thought, i personally think zenitsu should have gotten his demon mark in this fight, it would have been cool to see

VS AKAZA (INFINITY FORTRESS)

[Image Description: Manga panel of Akaza’s face. There are two text bubbles around him, saying “Okay, let’s get started. It’s time for the feast.” There is also floating text saying “The inspection of the strong has begun...” as well as a simple box on the lower left, denoting its the end of chapter 147. End Image Description.]

6/10

oh god please dont hate me for this

ill list the good things first how about that

this conflict was foreshadowed perfectly in mugen train, you bet the readers were expecting a tanjirou vs akaza battle after the death of kyojuro and gotouge delivered

akaza’s power is shown extremely well with how many close calls tanjirou and giyuu had while fighting him

akaza eventually giving up on his own volition was really nice and fit into the context of the battle very very well, like sure tanjirou and giyuu wouldnt understand why he gave up but us readers do know

akaza is a really good character and a good villain

/

now notice how im only mentioning akaza and not giyuu or tanjirou in the good aspects

bc those two are eh

no form mixing at all from either tanjirou and giyuu

i know i said form mixing was kind of tanjirou’s thing but you’d think giyuu would have gotten more creative with his moves once akaza said that he was getting predictable

(well he said he “ran out of water breathing forms” but same thing)

so its kinda bland lol

speaking of giyuu, his whole thing with his insecurities of being weak wasnt handled well (it was sort of immediately brushed off in pillar training, and its unclear what part of his character arc he was in)

like sure him announcing that he’s going to protect tanjirou is cool but it feels like he was haphazardly dropped into the tanjirou and akaza conflict

isnt he supposed to be both their foils? that wasnt really explored that well in this fight and theres no deep meaning behind him even being here just analyzing what he did in it

he could have been handled better or even given more focus is what im saying

the anatta state came out of nowhere, im sorry okay? just bc inosuke like barely hinted at not being able to sense grandma hisa bc she had no fighting spirit and tanjurou magically taught his son how to achieve this state doesnt mean it was properly integrated into the fight

if the anatta state was actually explored prior to this battle, i would have given it a pass but it just feels like a cheap and poorly developed trick to get around akaza’s technique development (which is overpowered as fuck might i add)

gotouge should have just given akaza a plausible weakness to his technique development instead, especially since they dont use or even mention the anatta state after this

the transparent world shit makes no sense but ill elaborate on that in the koku battle analysis

oh and this thing doesnt affect the score but why wasnt there a “yoriichi visage overlapping” moment when tanjirou was fighting akaza? hes an upper moon, he should have gotten those visions but he didnt

for some reason

anyways this battle was alright and has good set up but the middle and end parts didnt hold up as well bc random concepts were thrown at us without prior explanation or development

VS DOUMA

[Image Description: Manga panel of Douma licking Shinobu’s butterfly pin. There are two text bubbles around him saying “Anyway, tonight is a good night. Such fine feasts keep showing up one after another.” End Image Description.]

9/10

damn, such an amazing fight

the build up to this was properly foreshadowed

shinobu finally showing her true anger after hiding it for so long is amazing

douma is a super interesting character and fantastic villain

shinobu showing off her true power and determination against douma was sooooo nice

shinobu’s poisonous body plan is so clever and so interesting

if i was to rate the shinobu part of the fight alone, it would have gotten a 10/10 no question

the reason why its knocked down a point is because of the kanao and inosuke part

dont get me wrong, the way kanao is able to hold her own against douma by herself is pretty cool, how shes meant to parallel douma with their similar struggles surrounding human emotions and demonstrate how she has grown as a person, how she regains the ability to cry

that shit is cool, inosuke also getting in touch with his emotions after learning what happened to his mom was super neat as well

however

bc this battle takes place in the final arc with everything else, there wasnt proper build up regarding many things, the kotoha reveal especially

so inosuke feels kinda forced into the kanao shinobu and douma conflict, similar to how giyuu felt forced into the tanjirou and akaza conflict

its quite unfortunate bc if the kotoha stuff was actually explored prior to the confrontation, this “forced” feeling would have disappeared

i know some people have suggested that the douma fight should have just been its own arc, and i very much agree, it would have certainly helped fix this problem regarding inosuke and kotoha

last random thought, i wish shinobu, kanao, and inosuke got their demon marks

VS KOKUSHIBOU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kokushibou looking directly at the viewer, holding the hilt of his blade as if he’s going to pull it out. There are text boxes around him saying “This... is Upper Moon One... He’s so different compared to the other Upper Moons. He looks so dignified and majestic.” The text boxes are narrated by Tokitou Muichirou. End Image Description.]

5/10

this fight is... mediocre

at least theres a more tangible connection between muichirou and kokushibou

even though that was handled kinda poorly

tbh there really was no point to revealing that mui is koku’s descendant like at all, it just had no significant bearing to the plot of the fight

sanemi’s backstory being here is... okay ig?

idk the whole shinazugawa conflict has fundamental problems that i just cant think of any other place to put it without changing the entirety of canon

the marechi blood concept coming back was nice though

genya is there

him getting his bda was cool and helped turn the tide of the battle in a satisfying way (before kicking the bucket but thats not the focus here)

gyomei is a hollow husk of a character who barely got anything at all

but his fighting style is extremely cool and conveys his immense power very well

oh and him and sanemi are amazing at working together, like better than giyuu and tanjirou, and better than kanao and inosuke

theyre that good yet pretty much nobody acknowledges it which is sad

koku himself is pretty interesting and pretty tragic, very nice villain

but everyone together?

gonna be honest but this is such a random collection of characters, there was basically no foreshadowing that these four were going to go up again kokushibou, they are not that connected very well

i know there was this one post that focused on the theme of family that was common in all 5 characters in the fight but its just not enough

it would have been more cohesive if gotouge emphasized gyomei, mui, sanemi, and genya being like different aspects of yoriichi coming together to kill kokushibou hundreds of years after yoriichi failed to kill him

lmao its not like the 4 of them defeated koku with the power of family or friendship, they just smacked him over and over with a flail, shot him with magical bullets, and stabbed a crimson sword into his abdomen

wouldnt have been too hard to switch over to koku’s pov and go “damn these bitches are like my stupid brother”

...

speaking of crimson swords

i fucking hate the crimson sword concept oh my god can i complain about it now? im gonna complain about it now

unlike demon marks, the crimson blades werent even given any proper conditions, you just hold the stupid thing hard enough and it somehow imbues it with magical properties with no logic behind those properties

what part of crimson swords completely destroys a demon’s body in an instant? even muzan didnt go through that process when he was almost killed by yoriichi so where in the goddamn fuck did it come from

it could be explained bc the sword was left in the same spot for a long time but this tactic doesnt even appear again in a meaningful way (didnt kill muzan when tanjirou and giyuu held the sword together) so what the fuck was the point of having this even exist

its so underdeveloped and confusing and i hate it

the transparent world stuff is also confusing as shit and its pretty much never explained how they work aside from the vague “close your mind” advice, like why did it exist, it did nothing to help the present day demon slayers

its just so... poorly integrated

yeah anyways this is around the same rating as the akaza fight but a little worse bc there wasnt that strong set up beforehand

VS KOKUSHIBOU (SENGOKU ERA)

[Image Description: Manga panel of a bag getting ripped open, pieces of a wooden flute tumbling out. End Image Description.]

10/10

easily 10/10

this fight shows the tragedy of kokushibou giving in to his envy and hatred, when yoriichi cries over seeing his own family commit terrible attrocities against the people he wanted to protect

and yoriichi dies, now carrying the fact that he couldnt even save his own brother from the influence of muzan on his conscious forever

what a sad ending for yoriichi

and after koku angrily slashes apart yoriichi’s corpse, having him find and keep the flute he gave to him when they were kids to the present day gives him a small shred of humanity in the midst of his monstrous anger

VS NAKIME

[Image Description: Manga panels of Nakime. The first one shows a low quality version of her playing her biwa. The second one is a close up of her eye. There are spiky text bubbles saying “It’s Upper Rank... 4!” End Image Description.]

0/10

no nakime backstory

not even a goddamn fight

forgettable

useless

VS MUZAN

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kibutsuji Muzan in his white-haired, mouth-covered form. There are text bubbles around him saying “Not a single one was of use to me. I will crush the demon hunters tonight. I’ll massacre them all right now.” End Image Description.]

1/10

._.

i have many complaints but ill try my best to not make this another hantengu rant section lol

first off, obanai deserved better

im serious, this poor dude was forgotten until pretty much the end when we finally get a backstory out of him

and then he died

what a waste of a potentially amazing character

mitsuri getting taken out early was ehhh

pretty sure someone else made a post about her supposedly being extremely strong but she was nerfed in this battle which i agree with

literally none of the pillars work together very well, like remember how i praised sanemi and gyomei for being super coordinated? lmao that doesnt exist anymore

you could say this is caused by desperation though and you wouldnt be wrong, its just boring to sit through

that causes issues bc this now basically requires the crimson sword and transparent world concepts to be there to spice things up

but in this fight, they do nothing in the long run (except for tanjirou using the crimson sword at the very very end)

youve already heard me talk about why those two things are super shittily integrated and i cant be bothered repeating myself so moving on

kanao, inosuke, and zenitsu

they... exist? they didnt do much tbh, which i guess is the point but like, now its boring again

nezuko could have been used as a potential way to raise the stakes and make things interesting again (like “ah shit, muzan might actually be unkillable if he gets nezuko but its okay bc shes not here- oh fuck shes here this is not good”)

but nothing came of her running off except confirmation that she became human again so whatever

uzui and shinjuro are useless, why werent they at the fight?

like they could have followed nezuko and contributed to the battle even a little but they just didnt and now theres literally no point to them appearing in this arc at all

wasted potential

tanjirou

i wish him going absolutely apeshit had actual substance behind it, like it being a part of his character arc or something

i remember having this one theory that he had a corruption arc (due to dropping his kindness thing towards demons) and i wanted this to be true so badly

but it doesnt exist

not with how the series ended

god

the only thing that saves this fight from being complete trash is tamayo’s poison thing being amazingly executed

and the part where everyone got blasted away, losing limbs and shit, that made things a little more interesting again

but thats it

VS MUZAN (SENGOKU ERA)

[Image Description: Manga panels of Kibutsuji Muzan, Tamayo, and Tsugikuni Yoriichi. The first one has Muzan and Tamayo, while the second one has Yoriichi pulling out his sword. There are text boxes saying “And the moment I met him, I understood that I was born into this world to defeat this man.” End Image Description.]

9/10

finally something good again

while short, that’s just the nature of all of yoriichi’s battles with demons

anyways pretty nice, theres a clear reason why this battle exists (shows the scenario that made the original breather get super close to defeating muzan in detail)

adding tamayo here was a nice touch

my only complaint is that it seemed extremely coincidental that yoriichi somehow developed a breathing style specifically countering muzan’s multiple organs without even knowing prior that he had all those brains and hearts floating around freely in his body

like thats kind of ridiculous, even for yoriichi whos supposed to be “blessed by the gods”

could just be me though

VS TANJIROU

[Image Description: Manga panels of Kamado Tanjirou in his demon form. The first image has his eyes closed. The second image has his eyes opened and the tumor on his face almost completely faded. There are text boxes around him saying “You will destroy the demon hunters in my stead.” End Image Description.]

1/10

hoo boy

ok first off, demon tanjirou lasted for 2 chapters

thats it

2 chapters

so thats already a problem

i am aware its meant to parallel the beginning of the series but also its ridiculous how completely vague and rushed this entire thing was

nezuko doesnt do shit through not just this battle but this entire arc which i already explained so not gonna go into it further

kanao magically having a demon cure on her made very little sense

the scene where tanjirou leaves muzan in purgatory is pretty but if you look at it in the context of everything else, its ambiguous and confusing

(if someone could explain it and see how it connects to the original theme of “demons just being victims of circumstance,” i would love to hear it)

/

actually you know what makes me so mad about this “fight” as a whole? there was so much potential to do more with this concept

and im not talking about him escaping and nezuko becoming a demon slayer roleswap au (even though its a pretty cool concept)

him becoming a demon could have been a metaphor for his lost kindness and sympathy towards demons halfway through the series

it could have been a punishment for letting his anger towards muzan cloud his judgement

it could have symbolized literally anything about him losing his humanity as he got stronger

but those three things are just scenarios from my head, they dont exist in this series just based off of what weve seen from these two chapters

its disappointing

the only thing keeping this from getting a 0 is the one part where inosuke couldnt chop off tanjirou’s head bc he cared about him too much

that at least shows inosuke had grown as a character

everything else is just meaningless and convoluted garbage and “convoluted” is not what you should be aiming for if this is supposed to be the ending of your series

IN SUMMARY

early kny is very good, later kny is questionable and the ending is just a mess of wasted potential and disappointment

i get why gotouge had to have the transparent world ability, crimson blade ability, and the demon marks appear before they all appeared on yoriichi but theyre all just so underdeveloped and terribly handled in the battles they are used, it makes me want to kick a wall

like lmao, i could literally think of so many ways they could have been properly integrated, hell, im even writing a whole goddamn rewrite using my ideas for these three things (link to that is in my pinned)

just, god

if you want to debate over these ratings, my ask box is open ig? idk

[especdreamy]

idk anything about gw2 tbh but that's so fun!!! also if you want to talk about ur au i'd love to hear it ^_^!

I DONT HAVE TOO MUCH ABT THE AU BUT LIKE. SURE I CAN TALK ABT IT. ALSO IM GONNA PUT EVERYTHING UDNER THE CUT BECAUSE IT'LL GET PRETTY LONG

Basically in Guild Wars 2 there's 5 playable races (human, charr, asura, sylvari, and norn), and 9 professions which each have 3 specializations!!

So I just tried to think abt which characters would fit each profession and race y'know?

Like, in example, Phil is really easy. He'd TOTALLY be a Norn (a race of shapeshifters that usually take the form of Really Tall humans, but they can shapeshift to 4 animals: Crow, Snow Lopard, Bear, and Wolf) so in this case I think he'd be a Norn who is blessed by the spirit of the Crow, and also a Necromancer (more specifically a Reaper)

I believe Techno would be a Charr, while they're not pigs like him they got his vibe: they're a race of ferocious warriors who have killed their own gods, in Charr society the one thing that matters is being strong (either physically or mentally) and being useful in battle.

There's 3 selectable charr legions: Ash (which tend to be spies), Iron (who dedicate to mechanisms and weaponry), and Blood (Just plain ol' warriors). Techno fits the Blood legion perfectly. Also there's many examples of Charr and Norn getting along because both races got that similar ideal of being the strongest. So it fits pretty well for a Charr!Techno and Norn!Philza to get along :) also he'd be a Warrior, more specifically a Berserker.

Humans are well...just Humans, y'know? They are devoted to 6 different gods, who are the ones who brought them to Tyria, the world of the game. Though those gods have been long gone and now they've kind of fallen from grace, they have always had a bit of beef with Charr but they attempt to work towards peace.

I think Tubbo and Tommy would both be Humans, probably born in the outskirts of Divinity's Reach (human capital) and have grown up together. Tubbo would be an Engineer, because bombs and mechanic stuffs; while Tommy would either be a Thief with Daredevil specialization (raccooninnit) or just a plain Warrior.

Ranboo is a Sylvari. It's just. Clear. Sylvari are a pretty new race in Tyria, plant people whom are all born from the Pale Tree. Sylvari are not "born" they wake up from a dream with almost all the knowledge they need to live in the world. The first "batch" of Sylvari were called the firstborns, though now most of them are dead. I believe he'd be a Mesmer, since Mesmers do teleportation and well...purple-pink vibes too y'know? I don't know much abt that specific since I never play it but I believe the specialization of Mirage could fit him pretty well.

There's more reasons why Sylvari would fit c!Ranboo. But I'd need to talk about too much in game lore and events for that. Just Trust me on this.

Wilbur is a difficult one. I kind of want him to be human but also like. He's Gotta be a norn since he's supposed to be Phil's son. But I'd say that maybe he's a Norn that was smaller and less skilled physically, he probably would be able to fit in within other Humans that way, maybe him and Phil being apart and communicating thru letters would work if Wilbur was a Norn that moved to a human city, because he felt like he fit better with them. And it'd be there where he'd meet Clingy duo. I am not sure what profession he'd be so I'll just bullshit my way and say he's an engineer too.

And like. Tbh I don't have it very Clear for who the dteam would be. I think c!Dream would be a Sylvari, once again because of In Game Lore Reasons, and his profession would be some kind of Thief or Necromancer.

Sapnap is a Human and an Elementalist. But I do not know enough about Eles to say which specialization he'd be.

George is a Sylvari too...just like. The whole thing abt dreams and also how people relate him to mushrooms. Perhaps a Mesmer with Mirage specialization?

Karl is a human. But he's a Mesmer with Chrono specialization. Oh my god so many mesmers.

And that's like. All I got pfft. You can totallg tell which characters I put more thought into. Wild how there's no Rangers in this lineup since the character I play the most with is a Ranger...actually let's add Ranger to the possible professions for Tommy since he's got that Whole Thing with animals.

Now, a story with this? Idk AT ALL what it could be LMAO. Because my understanding of GW2 lore is very...little. Whenever I make an AU it's mostly me going "this is a cool concept specifically for art related reasons" and I never develop it further than that.

[strawberry1212]

Kdrama female leads eating a ton is not quirky or progressive?

Ah yes, the mysterious, bottomless, pit that is the Kdrama female lead’s gullet. Even from Kdramas dating back to the 2000s, female leads have had the superpower to eat inordinate amounts of food, usually shoveling it into their mouths before the male lead who shakes his head in wonder and teases her about it. And yet, despite this teasing, this scene is always used as a way to impress upon the viewer that this ability to eat tons of food distinguishes the female lead. She is Not Like Other Girls, who are dainty and stupid and care about how much they eat. No, our female lead is qUirKy. Somehow, eating a ton (usually chicken, beef, and other animal foods, which are tied to masculinity), is treated as a real personality trait that makes her more “real,” more boyishly cool, and unbothered. 

But what purpose does this truly serve?

Overvaluing Masculine Qualities over Feminine Qualities

One issue with this trope is that it falls into the category of women being simply cooler for doing traditionally male/masculine things. This is not real empowerment of women to make their own choices, or for an appreciation of all types of women (women who like pizza and beer AND women who like salads and cute cakes). Instead it puts down other women for being “too feminine,” and places women on a hierarchy, with the most man-like women being at the top.

“She’s like one of the boys, [and therefore worthy]” leaves many women behind, as well as resulting in an under-appreciation of typically feminine qualities. Although this is a simple case of eating choices, this type of pseudo-feminism is the same force that makes society look down on girls who wear “too much makeup,” do plastic surgery, wear girly clothes, like pink, and have traditional feminine interests.

Gillian Flynn in the famous Gone Girl monologue states it better than I ever could:

“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want.”

Movies and tv shows only pretend to subvert societal expectations by having a girl that loves pizza, when in fact they are giving into the societal expectation/male fantasy of the cool girl that is worthy because she is like a guy.

Beauty Standards

This trope is more infuriating in the context of the harsh beauty standards towards women, especially in Asia. Perhaps if the female lead was constantly gulping down calorie dense foods, and then actually gained weight, I would find that relatable. That would make her more “real.” But because she does not eat to be more real, but to maintain a male (and societal) fantasy, she maintains her wasp waist and thigh gap while eating away without any care in the world. That is the opposite of relatable. It is downright harmful, because it perpetuates this expectation on women to both be beautiful, but to not care about being beautiful. To be gorgeous, but to be effortlessly gorgeous. If you care about being pretty you are shallow, but if you don’t put effort into being pretty you are worthless. There is no winning for the 99% of us that weren’t born with perfect genes.

I am continually shocked by how tiny these female leads are, and for a long time, I thought they were naturally that way. I assumed that they, just like their characters onscreen, were effortlessly beautiful. However, Youtube channels like my favorite one here, which documents various Korean celebrities’ journeys with eating disorders, shows that that is not the case. For example, IU, one of my favorite idols and actresses, was iconic in her Hotel Del Luna role; her enviable proportions and doll-like features and figure were a centerpiece of the drama’s aesthetics, and her costumes contributed to much of the drama’s buzz. But IU, while being naturally small, not only continuously talks of having to lose weight, but has been one of the few idols to honestly talk about her history with eating disorders. Most other actresses aren’t so honest, but I suspect many are not, in fact, effortlessly beautiful, and put immense work into, and undergo immense emotional duress and eating disorders, to maintain the figures that their characters then pretend to have so effortlessly.

So these actresses are forced, through extreme dieting, to present a perfect vessel of a beauty, that is then passed off in dramas as the result of no effort, and thus the cycle continues in society of women both being expected to be perfect, and also effortless. Kdramas are simply de-stigmatizing eating, when they should be de-stigmatizing having different body types. So women eating a ton is not quirky, it is not progressive, and it does nothing except reinforce impossible expectations upon women. I would prefer a female lead that is constantly worried about dieting and eats little--maybe then we could explore societal beauty standards on women. But as long as we pretend that the issue is not allowing women to eat, when the issue is actually not allowing women to be comfortable and confident in body types that are not stick thin with curves in all the perfect places, we will make no progress.

[trashyswitch]

Easter In The Sanders House

Thomas gets to celebrate Easter weekend with the sides! Patton plans a full day of Easter fun, which gets a little out of hand quickly thanks to Remus...But a dose of innocence should do him some good! (or 50 doses)

Some dirty talk and swearing because...Remus. Also, I have personally ruined my own childhood with this fanfic. -_- But I'll be okay. I promise! Happy Easter everyone!

Easter was usually a house favorite in the mind palace. Though it was a little different this year thanks to COVID, Thomas and the sides could still celebrate it together. They all lived in the same household, which helped a lot. And some of them were capable of conjuring up anything! So the sides could make just about anything if they put their minds to it.

The sides started off with decorating the house with easter stuff. Bits of it were homemade, some of it was conjured up, and a few of the decorations were bought. Example: the huge stuffed bunny. Thomas had bought a medium-sized bunny from Wal-mart, and Patton took it upon himself to make it even bigger! And…

...It ended up being 7 feet tall…

But Patton was LOVING it! He would cuddle it non-stop, ‘feed’ it stuffy carrots, and even brush its belly fur with an old hairbrush. It was quite endearing to watch, as well as a little strange. The father figure would even give it blankets and make it look like a jedi knight. It was actually quite hilarious to see the gigantic bunny looking like the Jawa without the double sash or the gun. Everyone both loved it, and hated it at the same time. Virgil even went as far as to say ‘That’s cursed’! And...he has a point.

The rest of the decorations were banners with hanging eggs, baskets filled with fake grass and plastic eggs, bouquets of real and fake flowers all over the place, and mini egg bowls around the house. There were even little bunnies popping out of mugs placed onto the dining table for decoration! That was Roman’s favorite decoration.

Just like he usually did, Patton set up a little Easter egg hunt of plastic eggs filled wih treats and other little things. This year however, Patton wanted to improvise with extra little items…

Thomas and all 6 of the sides were all ready with their own baskets. The sides’ baskets matched their clothes, while Thomas had a pink basket. Logan was the first to critique Patton’s childish games. “Patton...A little reminder that we’re all in our 30’s. We’re getting a little too old for-”

Patton looked at Logan with a ‘seriously?’ look and squeezed his side. “Hush your piehole. Santa may not exist but no one lets that stop us from celebrating Christmas.” Patton warned casually.

Logan jumped and moved a step away from Pat. “Fine. Touché.” Logan responded.

Roman and Remus both snapped their neck towards Patton. “SANTA DOESN’T EXIST?!”

Logan facepalmed and shook his head while Patton giggled into his hand. “On your mark silly geese!” Patton called. Everyone got into their push position to start running at the ready. “Get set...GO!”

Everyone started running around the house while Logan and Patton just walked. Patton was watching the six boys run around the house with their baskets. There were eggs literally everywhere! And some of them had chocolate, others had origami creations, A few had glitter, a few had cute quotes written in slips of papers like an easter fortune cookie, and other had…

“...An acorn?” Janus asked.

Logan looked over and widened his eyes. “That’s a chestnut oak acorn. They’re an oval-sized breed of acorn.” Logan told him. “They’re usually in more eastern states though. So how did you get it here?” Logan asked.

“I conjured it!” Patton replied. “Good thing you know your trees. You’re gonna enjoy the other eggs near there…” Patton hinted.

Logan looked around for the eggs, opened them up and gasped as he very gently removed it. “A butterfly wing!” Logan very delicately held it in his hand. “It’s...beautiful!” Logan admitted with a smile. Patton smiled happily upon seeing his reaction.

Virgil moved to his bedroom and noticed that there were eggs hidden in there. Virgil opened up, and laughed as he removed them from the plastic egg: They were pins! There was a pin with a salt shaker that said ‘Salty’ on it, a pin of a black cat standing on a skull, a pin of a black rose and a pin with a black cat holding a fish. They were so small and yet, so up his alley. There would end up being more pins, being enamel and backpack versions. It was nice and thoughtful. Sometimes there were dark parts about spring that Virgil enjoyed. And he was thankful that Patton advocated for him.

Logan was having a wonderful time looking at all the spring items hidden in the eggs. There were Chinese Lanterns, walnuts, strawberry seeds, and more! There were even tiny squares that when unravelled, revealed recipe’s that involved Crofter’s Jam! And he even managed to fit Crofters store coupons into the plastic eggs! Logan was smiling and hugging Patton. “Thank you very much Patton. I appreciate the many kind gestures. And I apologize for the insensitive words I said earlier. You can still find ways for 30 year old men to enjoy Easter.” Logan told him.

Patton giggled and hugged him back. “Oh! And one more thing:” Patton conjured up a bunny ear headband. Logan’s smile dropped and he hung his head. “Really? Bunny ears?” Logan asked with a small smile.

Patton giggled. “Do you not remember our promise? You promised during March break that you were gonna wear bunny ears!” Patton reminded him.

“I am aware of my promise, but I’m starting to regret making such a promise.” Logan admitted.

Patton rolled his eyes and put it onto his head. “Perfect! See? It’s not that bad.” Patton told him.

Logan looked up. “Fine. But would you potentially consider making the ears look more realistic?” Logan offered a compromise.

Patton nodded and touched the bunny ears. They turned into brown and white bunny ears, with a very light pink skin all over the inner ear flap. Logan conjured up a mirror, and smiled. “Thank you.” Logan replied.

Remus was running around, acting like a raccoon. “Look at me! I’m RJ! I eat garbage, steal from Karens and ruin people’s lives!” Remus declared.

Roman chuckled and fluffed Remus’s hair. “I feel like you’d be more of a Hammy.” Roman admitted.

Remus gasped and clapped his hands. “YES! I COULD STOP TIME WITH THE POWER OF CAFFEINE! AND THEN BURN PEOPLE TO SHREDS WITH ILLEGAL LASERS AND CAGES!” Remus shouted.

Roman snapped his fingers and ran to Patton’s basket. “We got you something!” Roman told him.

Patton turned around and squealed upon the present! There was a chocolate chick, a DVD copy of ‘Over the Hedge’, and a DVD copy of It’s ‘The Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown!’. Patton happily took the DVD’s and the chocolate chick. “THANK YOU! YOU ARE ALL AMAZING!” Patton hugged as many people in one hug as his arms could. If his arms were stretchy like Elasticgirl’s, then maybe he could!

Later on, the family had a lovely Easter dinner. Cooked carrots, roast beef, baked potatoes and packaged gravy for it all. Patton and Thomas all worked together to make their supper, while Logan took some time to make a Crofter’s recipe he was given during the plastic egg hunt. With some time, Logan had whipped together what he called: Loganberry Crumble Squares. A simple recipe of rolled, layered oat crumble with Loganberry Crofter’s put into the middle of them! It tasted amazing! The recipe called for Gluten-free oats, but Logan just picked up regular oats for the recipe. No one was allergic to wheat. So, why worry?

After supper, the family gathered together to watch the Charlie Brown Easter Special. They enjoyed Marcie’s cute little ‘boiling eggs’ gags, and loved seeing Sally Brown and Snoopy playing with the hats! Patton died of cuteness overload at Snoopy and the bunnies dancing, and Janus admitted he felt bad that Snoopy didn’t have an egg for Charlie Brown.

Virgil looked at Janus. “Charlie rarely gets things. He has a best friend and a crush, but that’s about it. Lucy’s probably the reason he doesn’t have anything.” Virgil admitted.

“That’s true. But you gotta admit: Lucy and Shroeder are kinda cute together.” Roman added.

Thomas laughed. “That all depends on Schroeder falling for her as well.” Thomas added.

Logan sighed. “Poor Schroeder...she never leaves him alone. A life of Beethoven and piano playing is much better than a childish relationship with a girl like her.” Logan added.

Janus smirked. “Right! A relationship with Lucy will NEVER work. It’s not like she actually softens up to Charlie Brown near the end or anything...” Janus hinted.

Roman widened his eyes. “Wait, really?!”

Logan turned to him. “That’s true. I also realize she later develops a crush on Charlie near the end of the comic strips.” Logan added.

“So...So Schroeder and Lucy-”

Remus made a downward whistling sound while he lowered his finger and made an ‘explosion’ sound effect while expanding his hands. “But Charlie and Lucy:” Remus did a wolf-whistle before wrapping his own arms around himself and ‘making out’ with himself. “Oh Charlie! CHARLie! YeS!”

Roman gasped in horror while Thomas widened his eyes. “EW! You’re so disgusting! They’re 8!” Thomas yelled.

Roman had thrown Remus off the couch, leaving Remus rolling around on the floor in a fit of hysterics. Janus was snickering into his hand while Logan facepalmed himself. “THEHEY DIDN’T EVEN GEHEHET TO THE BEST PAHART!” Remus laughed.

Virgil groaned. “They don’t need to. This is why they need more than just teachers and shop owners in their community.” Virgil reacted.

Remus stopped laughing. “Why? Because Sally and Linus could be having fun at the back of the school yard?” Remus asked. “Virgil! You naughty, naughty man~”

Patton dropped his jaw and fixed his glasses with a frown. “That’s it! You need a big dose of innocence!” Patton declared, picking him up and dropping him onto the couch. He climbed onto him. “Starting with your hips!” Patton started digging his thumbs into his hips.

Remus’s naughty comeback was quickly overruled by his very own scream of surprise! “FAAAHAHAHACK!”

Patton smirked. “Language! Looks like I’m gonna need to up the ante!” Patton moved his hands to his lower, inner thighs and started squeezing and skittering.

“OHSHIT- GAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Remus completely lost it and just about kneed Patton in the face a few times! “STAAHAHAHAP! TOHOHOHO MUHUHUCH IHINNOCEHEHENCE!” Remus yelled.

Logan couldn’t help but smile at Patton’s way of handling him. He soon started smirking with Patton as well. “I’d almost say you should up this dose to lethal.” Logan offered.

Patton gasped and turned his head to look at Logan with an excited face. “You’re a genius!” Patton declared.

“And a change of lifestyle may even lessen the indecent behaviour. For example: consumptions of veggies and fruits…” Logan hinted.

Patton’s smirk grew so wide almost all his teeth were visible. “Oh! Fruits are a good one!”

Remus yelped in horror. “OHOHO NOHOHO, YOHOHOU’RE NOHOHOT FILLIHIHING MEHEHE WITH SWEETNEHEHESS!” Remus warned.

Patton looked at Remus with a confident facial expression. “Are you suggesting something more sour? Like...raspberries?” Patton asked.

Remus squealed! And he only heard the word! “NOHOHOHO! NORASPBERRIHIES! BEHEHEGOHOHONE!” Remus ordered. “IHIHI OHOHORDER YOHOU TO-”

Patton took in a deep breath and blew a big raspberry onto Remus’s inner thigh.

Remus squealed and screamed like a bat in severe distress! “AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! AAHAHAHA PAHAHAHAHAHA!” Remus screamed.

“My goodness Remus! You sound like you’re dying! What could possibly be so funny?!” Patton asked.

Janus smirked. “It couldn’t possibly be the thought of playboy magazines or babies making love.” Janus teased, just riling up Patton even more.

Patton clicked his tongue in disappointment. “My my my...I suppose even the smaller doses won’t stop you from your addictive thoughts...Perhaps you really DO need a lethal dose of innocence!” Patton admitted.

Remus was struggling. “WAHAHAIT NO! IHIHI DOHOHON’T! THISIS BAHAHAD EHEHENOHOHOUGH!”

Patton hummed. “Well, guess there’s only one way to test if it’s working!” Patton decided. Patton removed his fingers and let Remus have a break. Remus let in heavy breaths at first, to conquer his loss of oxygen. But within two minutes…

“Hehey, hey Janus:” Remus asked.

Janus looked over. “Yes?”

“Imagine Marcie being spicy for Peppermint Patty~” Remus made a sexy roaring sound.

Patton was immediately at him again. “Time for the second lethal dose, you stubborn pickle!” Patton declared quickly.

Thomas wheezed and hung his head. “Did you just call him a pickle?” Thomas asked, laughing.

“Yes I did! Because he’s being a green, sour dick!” Patton declared. While Thomas questioned his ears and sanity, Patton started blowing raspberry after raspberry on Remus’s thigh.

Remus was absolutely losing it! “AHAHAHIHIHIHIHI CAHAHAHAHAN’T! AAAAHAHAHAHA NOHOHOHOHO *snort* DAHAHAHAMMIHIHIHIHIT!”

Thomas quickly whipped his head around to see where the unusual sound came from.

Patton had widened his eyes and covered his mouth. “You SNORT?!” he asked, stopping his tickling momentarily.

Remus took a quick moment to breathe and nodded his head. “Ihihi- Ialways hahahave.”

Patton looked at Roman. Roman nodded and shrugged his shoulders. “It’s true. He snorted when he was little too.” Roman admitted.

Patton looked at Roman curiously. “What about you?” Patton asked.

Roman hummed and tilted his head. “Me?”

Patton started staring at Roman with suspicious eyes. “......Logan, get him.” Patton told him.

Logan wrapped his arms around Roman and immediately went for the belly. “Way ahead of you.”

Roman squealed and threw his head back with bubbly giggles coming out. Despite Remus’s laugh sounding more witch-like, The twins’ laughter sounded fairly similar to each other. So now both twins were being tickled for separate reasons; Remus’s being ‘constant potty mouth’ while Roman’s being ‘kept secrets’.

“LOHOHohohoho! Meheheheheaniihihie! Lehehehet mehehehe gohohohoho!”

“PAHAHAT! *snort* IHIHIHI’M GOHOHONNA *snort* KIHIHILL YOHOHOHOU!”

Patton gasped at Remus’s words. “Threatening me as well!? My goodness...You really don’t learn, do you?” he teased. Patton blew one raspberry on his left thigh, and two raspberries on his right thigh.

“AAAAAHAHAHAHAAA-” With one last snort, Remus finally went silent. He couldn’t really breathe very well at this point and was growing very red. So Patton gave him a break and got off him. Remus took some time getting his oxygen back. It felt great to be able to breathe again. He tried to breathe fairly heavily to get oxygen in faster. With due time, he slowly lost his tomato face and started turning more peach-colored again. With a bottle of water from Patton, Remus was pretty much okay. He was smiling and still slightly giggling after he finished the bottle.

“Are you done with your silly jokes yet?” Patton asked.

Remus lifted his head up, took one look at him and let his head fall back down. “M...Maybe for a bit.” Remus replied.

Patton smiled. “Good.”

Remus laid there for a few more minutes while he took in the sound of Roman’s giggly laughter. Logan was STILL tickling him but this time, he was pinning one arm up and tickling his armpit. To make things even better, Roman was starting to snort as well. And Patton was living for it!

“It’s truly fascinating how both twins have developed a snorty laugh.” Logan added.

“Shuhuhuhut uhuhuhup! *snort* Ehehehevihihihil fiehehehend!” Roman yelled to him.

Logan raised his eyebrows. “Evil? You think I’m being evil?” Logan asked.

“Yehehehehessss! Ehehehevihihil Ihihihi- *snort* Ihihi sahahahayhy!” Roman shot back.

Logan chuckled at that. “I am being much more merciful and gentle to you, compared to how Patton was treating Remus.” Logan explained.

“Yohohohou’re tihihicklihihing mehehehe *snort* fohohor noho reheheasohohon!” Roman protested.

Logan rolled his eyes. “Actually, we did have a reason to tickle you. We just didn’t tell you what it was.” Logan added.

“We wanted to see if you snorted too!” Patton declared.

Logan looked at Patton. “Hey! I was gonna tell him when he stopped insulting me with his childish names.” Logan reacted.

Patton snickered. “He was gonna find out anyway. Minus well do it now!” Patton declared, closing his eyes with a proud smile.

Logan sighed. “You’re no fun.” Logan whined.

Patton opened his eyes and opened his mouth in surprise. What did he just say?! “I...After all I planned for easter-”

Thomas quickly put his hands on Patton’s shoulders. “Patton, don’t listen to Logan. You are tons of fun! You planned all this for us, and for that we’re so grateful.” Thomas told him.

Janus, Remus, Virgil, Roman and even Logan nodded. Logan paused the tickling for a moment while Roman sat up.

“Thank you Patton!” All six of them said happily at the same time!

Patton smiled and couldn’t stop himself from tearing up. “You’re welcome guys.” Patton hugged Thomas. Virgil joined the hug as well, followed by Remus.

With that out of the way and Patton cheered up again, Logan resumed tickling Roman for a little longer before letting the prince breathe. Roman’s loss of oxygen was much more minor compared to Remus. But that was only because Remus wouldn’t stop doing the one thing that granted him tickles. Maybe it was because Remus wanted tickles? Or maybe it was because Remus has a legitimate addiction to it.

Whatever the reason, Remus was quick to start up his grotesque headcanons about the Peanuts Characters. This would further ruin Patton’s childhood and cause Remus further fits of ticklish laughter. Perhaps they could consider a new, more effective treatment for dirty language?

Or...maybe not. Remus seems to like it. And no one would wanna ruin his fun! Happy Easter indeed.

[stillness-in-green]

I saw speculation on this going around & I’m curious to get your thoughts on it: where do you think Geten’s story might be going in the future, & do u think it’s possible Dabi will kill him? I saw ppl talking about Dabi’s noted distaste for him & how the PLF seems more of a temporary alliance in the LoV’s mind (Compress’ noted rejection of the name in his thoughts, Dabi’s use of Skeptic against his will, etc), & w/ AFO back in the picture they theorized Dabi may get his quirk & kill Geten.

Okay, so, it took me a while to grapple with this one, and in the end, I'm going to have to break my reply up into two parts. Because you asked a very simple question, anon, and my answer to the question you actually asked is pretty simple (if characteristically rambly)! But you also provided a bunch of contextualizing information about what prompted your ask, and I have a lot to say about that contextualizing information, stuff that is only tangentially related to your actual question.

Note that some of this is going to get pretty salty, but I assume you wouldn't have brought a Known MLA Stan a question like this if you didn't want at least a bit of that. Most of the salt will be in the second part, though! This first part is pretty safe!

So, to answer the actual question: I don't have a lot of solid thoughts on where Geten's story is going, because from the looks of the way the series as a whole is going, it may well be that the MLA’s story is already done. I have previously expressed concerns about the current status of the MLA mainly because of all the speculation that Horikoshi is trying to rush to get to the ending, and if Hori’s rushing the ending, I don’t know that I’d bet on Geten coming back at all. In fact, given what I can guess about the scenario, I’d kind of rather he not.

The thing is, the MLA have always been far more relevant to the League than they have been to anyone else in the cast. They’re Tomura's victory spoils; their plot beats were established to connect to the League, not the heroes, the students, or even All For One. There’s just no personal connection there, and lacking a personal connection, all they’d do is be fodder for background fights to fill page space and give the side characters something to do.

And there’s just no drama in that! Not even any tension! We've already seen the MLA characters beaten--first by the villains, and then by the heroes. Hell, we've seen Re-Destro beaten three times!(1) Based on how the raid went, there are maybe three people in the entire MLA that present a credible threat--Hose Face, whose name we don’t even know, Re-Destro, who has a repeatedly-illustrated weak point in the form of his new legs, and Geten.

While I definitely think Geten could give any of the students save Deku a run for their money,(2) what would be the point? Who would he be slotted in to have a dramatic fight with? Geten hurt Cementoss, but he didn't kill him, and none of the students are uniquely close to Cementoss anyway. Geten has never personally offended or harmed any of the kids directly. There was a time people theorized that Shouto's end game boss would be a combination of Geten and Dabi, but with the PLF scattered, that looks less likely.

From the other side of things, Geten himself has no particular beef with the kids. If he'd been on the front lines to witness the opening moments of the battle, maybe he'd have a bone to pick with Kaminari, Kinoko, Juzo, and particularly Tokoyami, but it took Geten a bit to get to the front; he has no particular way of knowing about those four, and at the moment, he certainly has more pressing matters on his mind.

Geten's primary interest, when it comes right down to it, is Re-Destro. He talks a big game about the MLA's goals, but when the pivotal moment comes in Deika, he bails on the battle that was assigned to him to try and help RD instead. He claims that pure strength is to be valued above all else, but his loyalties don’t change when Gigantomachia bats him aside like a fly or when Shigaraki proves himself to be An Strongest. Even up to Jakku, Geten is still concerned solely with Re-Destro. With no real reason to pit RD against the kids, there’s no reason to throw Geten against them, either.

The only person Geten has an established rivalry with is, of course, Dabi, but getting the two of them even in the same vicinity again is going to require breaking the MLA leaders out of jail, which clearly isn't a priority of AFO's, and he's the one running the show right now. Would Shigaraki bother? He might, particularly if RD, Trumpet and Geten all get shipped to whatever Tartarus Lite Mr. Compress and Machia are likewise bound for. But if the story is headed to its conclusion, is Shigaraki ever going to get that option?

Is AFO the final boss? If so, it doesn't seem to leave much of an opening for the MLA to become relevant again, because, again, the MLA are all about Tomura's victory, Tomura’s ascendant arc as a villain, his status as a hero to other villains (namely RD). If Deku "saving" Shigaraki from All For One is going to magically resolve all of Tomura's issues with society as a whole, because hey, at least this kid is a good person, so his society can't be so bad after all! (GAG), that doesn't seem to leave much room to get into the myriad issues with society that all of Tomura's followers have. Frankly, the only thing the MLA has to offer Deku right now that's remotely relevant to his current goals is Re-Destro's starry-eyed explanation about why he's fallen so hard for Shigaraki, and Spinner is better suited for that role on basically every level.

So that’s all been one big if. The other alternative is the ending I'm hoping we get, in which Deku and Shigaraki join forces to put an end to AFO, only for Shigaraki to thank Deku cordially and then get right back to destroying things because, surprise surprise, Midoriya Izuku being a good person doesn't absolve Hero Society of all of its many, many sins. Then I can see there being room for the MLA to return. At that point, not only is there RD’s devotion to Shigaraki on offer, but also the MLA’s ideology of Liberation, what it is, what it offers, along with, for example, more on whatever Harima Oji’s complaints were about heroes, more on what has to change systemically to satisfy Shigaraki’s grudge. That’s a story the MLA can meaningfully contribute to, and therefore a story in which Geten and his quirk supremacist beliefs are more likely to be addressed.

However, I’m not optimistic that we’re going to get that ending, and until we find out whether Shigaraki will be satisfied with being rescued from AFO (if, indeed, he survives the process at all), or whether he and his compatriots’ societal issues will be left by the wayside, I’m not yet prepared to spend a lot of time theorizing on how the MLA’s role in it would look.

As to the specific question of Dabi killing Geten--honestly? I think that moment is past. While I said earlier that Dabi is Geten’s only established rivalry, that is frankly being more generous than their relationship actually warrants. After all, we haven’t seen them interact since Deika, and literally the only time one of them has so much as thought of the other in that period was Dabi grumbling, “That icy punk sure knows how to let loose,” after Geten’s big wall of ice attack allows Tokoyami to get away with Hawks. If their continued animosity were going to be a plot point, and especially if Dabi were going to murder him in cold blood eventually, Horikoshi should have shown us the two of them antagonizing each other as co-lieutenants of the Violet Regiment.

At this point, Dabi has made his big play, revealed his identity to the world. I think he's pretty locked into the Todoroki Drama now; he has bigger concerns than going back and winning a grudge match against Geten. Also too, given the point he's trying to prove about the strength of his/Endeavor's flames, would he even want Geten's quirk? If he were to get it, would he get the "evolved" version or just the basic one?(3) Because given the precedent set by both the mechanics of Monoma's Copy and AFO's comments about Jeanist's Fiber Master, I'd be inclined to think the latter, and Geten's ice powers are way less badass without the temperature control, especially for a dude trying to wield them in concert with flames of the temperature Dabi uses.

From a narrative standpoint, Geten has already been punished for his hubris with a personal defeat, the humbling of his leader, a loss of pride in his organization, and then a second, much more damning defeat and subsequent capture at the hands of heroes. Dabi taking his quirk and killing him at this point would just be kicking--indeed, killing--him when he’s already down. It doesn’t feel like karma; it just feels malicious.

That said, in the rather dubiously scaffolded scenario that the MLA gets free and finds their way back to the League and AFO/Shigaraki takes Geten's quirk(4) and Dabi accepts it, would Dabi then kill Geten with it?

…I mean, maybe? Do people think that Dabi is that much of a sadist? Because it would be the act of a sadist, to murder a kid who's almost certainly younger than he is and might even still be a teenager, one who has just been violently stripped of any ability to defend himself, all out of a desire for petty revenge over a months-old slight--a slight consisting of Geten parroting rhetoric he learned from the weird cult he grew up in, and which Dabi has very possibly been working with Skeptic long enough to know is maybe not all that accurate a characterization of the cult's ideals anyway!

And that brings me to Part 2. ---------------------------------------

(1) Four, if you count the clone’s destruction.

(2) Even 1-A's two remaining powerhouses don't present any more of a threat to Geten's ice than Dabi did, and Shouto will only give him more of it to work with. Their advantage over Dabi is that they can both sort of fly, which might well tip the balance--one of Geten's major advantages is his ability to manipulate ice from a considerable distance away, farther away than Dabi's flames can reach, but flying opponents deprive him of that advantage. Now, Shouto's flying is fairly unstable, so I suspect Geten is more maneuverable in the air, but his maneuverability wouldn't save him from Bakugou, the human equivalent of the anger-powered jetpack.

(3) Set aside the Doylist explanations about anyone who stole Geten's quirk getting the version the audience already knows purely out of laziness, forgetfulness, or authorial fiat.

(4) And look me dead in the eye and tell me Geten would just let Shigaraki Tomura or anything currently inhabiting his body just casually stroll up and lay hands on him without protest. Not to say I think AFOmura couldn't do it, but doing it in a "cool," dramatic way would probably involve some lightning movements we have not seen him make thus far.

[emospritelet]

Homecoming - chapter 22

In which Belle asks some questions, and gets some answers...

x

At eleven-thirty in the morning, Lady Tremaine’s bedroom was light and pleasant despite the heavy velvet curtains framing the bed and the dark oak panelling. Belle watched Alice walk around the room, lips pursed and a thoughtful look on her face.

“Anything?” asked Ogilvy, his tone suggesting that he was already anticipating her answer, and Alice wrinkled her nose.

“Not really,” she said. “No more than I’ve felt the whole time we’ve been here. It’s an old house, so you’d expect it to have some sort of atmosphere, but there’s nothing more than that. Can’t see or feel anything, anyway. Just - a sort of sadness. Bit like I felt up at the castle, but more so.”

Belle watched Ogilvy and the Professor exchange a look.

“Can you tell us anything more about that?” asked the Professor, and Alice pulled a face.

“It feels - kind of like loneliness,” she said finally. “Like the sort of grief that comes from losing someone you love, I imagine. Like it’s seeped into the walls.”

Belle flicked her eyes towards Ogilvy. He had hung his head, his fingers turning the moonstone ring on his finger.

“It’s different here at the house,” Alice added. “Sort of stronger. Newer. Does that make sense?”

“Yes,” said both men in unison, and Belle was surprised to see that they both had the same grim look on their faces.

“But no spirits,” said Alice. “Nothing at all. Whatever’s causing Lady Tremaine’s sleepless nights, it isn’t a ghost.”

“As we thought,” said Ogilvy, glancing at Belle. “Miss Marchland, you mentioned something earlier this morning. An idea you’d had.”

“Yes.” Belle stepped towards the fireplace. “It was just a thought, really. Much of the house has panelling, and I’ve read more than one story in which an old house has a secret compartment in the walls. I thought perhaps someone might be hiding behind the panelling and waiting to scare Her Ladyship.”

She rapped on the oak panels with a knuckle, producing a hollow sound, and Ogilvy frowned thoughtfully.

“Sometimes the most likely explanation is the most mundane,” he agreed. “Do you have a culprit in mind?”

Belle hesitated.

“There’s something else that occurred to me,” she admitted. “The timing of Lady Tremaine’s visitations matches up with the return of the Mills family. And there was an incident a few days ago, when Alice and I were in the nursery…”

“We couldn’t find the children!” exclaimed Alice. “I remember, we couldn’t work out how they had slipped past us! We could hear them giggling and couldn’t find them.”

“The panelling in the nursery is hollow, too,” said Belle. “I checked this morning before the sun was up. I thought we might go back there now there’s enough light to see by. It might give us a clue to what happened in this room.” 

“You think it’s Lucy Mills?” asked Ogilvy, his eyes twinkling. “Little minx!”

“I think she might be a little tired of being seen and not heard by her step-grandmother,” agreed Belle. “Whether that makes her the culprit is yet to be seen.”

“To the nursery, then,” announced the Professor, clapping his hands together.

x 

The nursery was bright and cheerful, winter sun shining through the tall windows, and the twins were playing on the rug with Lucy Mills, a game that seemed to involve the stuffed animals waiting in line for something. They looked up as the adults entered, and exchanged anxious looks as they scrambled to their feet.

“Good morning, children,” said Belle. “We wondered if you would like to be part of our investigations.”

Ava and Nicholas looked excited, but Ogilvy noticed that Lucy seemed wary. Doc stepped towards the walls, tapping on the panelling, and Lucy’s eyes widened.

“This sounds hollow,” said Doc cheerfully. “Almost like there might be a secret passage behind it. How exciting!”

“There is!” exclaimed Nicholas. “It’s dusty and there are spiders!”

Lucy frowned at him, and Belle bit her lip, clearly amused.

“May I see the passageway?” she asked.

Lucy sighed resignedly, stomping around the corner and moving one of the toy boxes. Ogilvy watched as she plucked at the edge of one of the panels, hearing a tiny click before it swung outwards to reveal a dark, narrow passageway that looked to be just high enough to walk in, if one crouched down a little.

“Goodness me!” said Doc, rubbing his hands together. “What an excellent addition to a grand old house! I’ve seen many secret passages in my time, but this is a particularly fine example.”

“Where does it lead, Lucy?” asked Belle, and Lucy shrugged uncomfortably. “Does this have anything to do with Lady Tremaine’s ghosts, perhaps?”

Lucy looked alarmed at that, dark eyes widening, but she remained silent.

“We’re not angry with you,” said Ogilvy gently. “But if there is something you know, please tell us.”

Lucy winced, digging the toe of her foot into the rug and twisting awkwardly.

“Did you explore the secret passage?” asked Belle, and she nodded. “Did you use it to frighten Lady Tremaine?”

“I didn’t do it on purpose!” said Lucy suddenly. “I just - I was exploring, and I started knocking on the walls, seeing if someone would answer. I didn’t know it was Her Ladyship’s room until I heard her scream. And - and then she was mean to my mother, and - and I thought someone should be mean to her, so I - I was…”

Her voice trailed off, and she hung her head, chewing her lip.

“Oh dear,” said Doc kindly. “Well, I’m sure it can all be cleared up. Little bit of mischief, what? No real harm done.”

Ogilvy privately thought that Lady Tremaine might take a different view of things.

“So you made noises behind the walls to scare her?” said Belle. “But I thought she said she was hearing noises during the night.”

Lucy looked puzzled, but shrugged.

“Does anyone else know about the passage?” asked Belle, and Lucy nodded.

“Just Tyson, the hall boy,” she said, and looked alarmed. “Oh, but I don’t want him getting in trouble! It’s my fault, not his! Please don’t tell Her Ladyship!”

Belle glanced at Ogilvy, and he shrugged.

“Perhaps Mrs Mills,” he suggested, in an undertone, and she nodded, turning back to Lucy.

“Lady Tremaine has been very scared these past few months,” she said gently. “So much that she invited the Professor and Mr Ogilvy all the way from London to investigate.”

Lucy looked guilty, hunching her shoulders.

“Well, we don’t mind that!” said Doc hastily. “Fresh air and pleasant company. It’s been an enjoyable few days, I must say.”

“Be that as it may,” said Belle. “I think she deserves to know the truth. What do you think, Lucy?”

“I suppose,” said Lucy dolefully.

“When we do something that upsets someone, the brave thing to do is admit to it, and apologise,” said Belle. “I’m sure you’re extremely brave, aren’t you?”

“Like a warrior princess!” blurted Nicholas.

“That kills nasty old trolls!” put in Ava eagerly, and Lucy giggled before looking serious once more. She took a deep breath, stretching up on her toes and lifting her chin.

“Alright,” she said. “I’ll do the brave thing, Miss Belle.”

Belle smiled.

“Then I’m very proud of you,” she said. “Though perhaps it would be better if your mother was the one to explain things to her first.”

Lucy’s face brightened at that.

“Really?” she said eagerly. “Momma won’t be angry with me, I’m sure!”

“Then will you come with me to tell her?” asked Belle, holding out her hand, and Lucy nodded, taking it and marching from the room with her head held high.

x

Dinner was a jovial affair, the gentlemen returned from a successful hunt, the ladies having rested in their absence. Lady Tremaine was not present, reportedly lying down in her room with a bad headache. Ogilvy thought it was most likely due to the revelation that Lucy Mills had been the one haunting her for months, rather than an evil spirit. Mr Mills mentioned somewhat delicately that his wife had had to intervene on behalf of their daughter before Lucy made her own apologies, and that Lady Tremaine had been less than gracious with her acceptance.

“She wanted Lucy sent away to school,” he said, cutting a piece of beef. “Jacinda managed to soothe her ruffled feathers, but we’re going to take Lucy to Edinburgh for a couple of weeks, let this all blow over.”

“She was sent to bed early, too,” said Mrs Mills. “And she has to stay in her room tomorrow. Her Ladyship says it will give her time to think about what she’s done.”

“Poor thing,” said Belle. “I don’t think she meant to be malicious.”

“I’m just impressed that she was crawling through passageways in the middle of the night,” remarked Mr Mills. “Shows grit and determination, if you ask me.”

“Henry, really!” said Mrs Mills reprovingly. “It’s supposed to be a punishment. She won’t learn if you’re praising her bad behaviour.”

“I don’t think the midnight visitor was her, anyway,” said Belle. “She said it wasn’t. Perhaps one of the servants.”

“Hmm.” Mrs Mills looked amused. “She did say that the hall boy knew about the passageway. I decided not to mention that fact to Her Ladyship.”

“Good thing too,” said Mr Mills. “The poor boy would be thrown out into the snow.” 

“So Victoria’s dream of having her home invaded by restless spirits is over?” Lady Ella smirked, raising a glass. “I can’t say I’m surprised. It won’t stop her consulting mystics and finding new ways to scare herself, you know.”

“Well, I’m more than happy to leave her to it,” said Ogilvy. “It’s been an interesting visit, but I’m looking forward to getting home.”

“Yes, you never did like having society forced on you, did you?” she said, with a sniff. “Do you think you can bear an entire train journey in my company tomorrow, or are you determined to be disagreeable?”

Ogilvy grinned at that.

“I promise to be as entertaining as I can.”

“That’s a low bar, I must say.”

He chuckled, spearing a piece of meat with his fork, and shared a smile with Belle. She had settled back into comfortable conversation with him following the awkwardness of their early morning encounter. He had noticed her gazing at him now and then with a thoughtful look in her eyes, and he found himself willing her to make the connections needed, to ask the right questions. He wondered how long it would take.

“What time will we leave tomorrow, Papa?” asked Alice.

“Around nine, I should think,” said Ogilvy, ignoring Ella’s dramatic shudder. “It’ll take a while to get to the station, given the snow that’s fallen.”

“An early night, then,” said Doc, reaching for his wine. “I have to confess I’m looking forward to getting back home and into our usual routine. Interesting though this visit has been.”

“I’ve enjoyed exploring the house,” said Belle. “So many beautiful things to examine.”

“Oh, that reminds me,” said Alice, gesturing with a fork. “We never went to see your painting, Belle. The one you mentioned at the castle? We meant to look, remember?”

“Oh.” Belle glanced down at her plate, pushing a piece of meat around listlessly. “Well. Actually, I - I did take a look.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” asked Alice eagerly. “What is it like?”

“What painting is this?” asked Ella, craning her neck to look at Belle.

“Oh, just a portrait in the West Wing,” she said, blushing a little. “A former resident of this house. Lady Tremaine thought I resembled her.”

“You must take me to see it after dinner,” said Ella. “Is it a good likeness?”

“As though Miss Marchland had sat for the artist herself,” said Ogilvy.

Belle’s blush deepened, and Ella turned her gaze to him.

“So, you’ve seen it too,” she said. “How intriguing.”

She glanced back at Belle, and Ogilvy could see her mind working. He decided to push her off course a little.

“You know how I have trouble sleeping,” he said, with a shrug. “When it’s too dark outside to walk, I like to wander the halls. One sees all manner of things in the dark of night.”

“Indeed one does.” Ella smirked at him. “Though I hadn’t thought you a connoisseur of portraits. Perhaps it depends on the subject matter.”

“Well, go and see it yourself, and form your own opinion,” he said. “I’m sure Miss Marchland will direct you.”

“May I go, too?” asked Alice eagerly.

“Very well,” said Belle. “I think there are certainly some similarities between the painting and what I see in the mirror each morning, but perhaps you’ll tell me that I’m imagining things.”

“I doubt that,” said Ella, glancing at Ogilvy again. “I’m inclined to believe those who have made the closest study of your person, Miss Marchland.”

x

Alice was eager to see the portrait, and so Belle found herself walking the corridor to the West Wing as soon they had finished dinner, this time with Alice’s arm through hers and Lady Ella behind them with Miss Waters.

“Wretchedly cold up here,” remarked Lady Ella. “I hope it’s not much further.”

“The gallery is just around the corner,” said Belle. “The portrait is at the end.”

She turned into the gallery, walking steadily towards the opposite end. The eyes of the woman in the painting seemed to follow her as she moved, and she heard a gasp from Alice as they drew close.

“Well,” said Lady Ella. “Remarkable. Ogilvy’s right, it’s as though you sat for the artist only yesterday, Miss Marchland.”

“Your Ladyship flatters me,” said Belle, with a smile. “I’m sure this lady was ten years younger than I when this was painted.”

“Well, be that as it may, the likeness is incredible.”

“As though they’re the same person,” agreed Miss Waters.

“It really does make one wonder if all that nonsense about past lives is true, doesn’t it?” mused Lady Ella. “Though if so I’d like to apologise to my future self for being such a hedonist.”

Belle chuckled, sharing a smile with Miss Waters. Alice was frowning up at the painting, one hand raised, as though she would touch it.

“She looks so sad,” said Alice, biting her lip. “I wonder why.”

“I’ve no idea,” said Belle. “I don’t even know who she was.”

“I bet Thwaites would know,” said Alice. “Ivy said he talks about the history of the house a lot down in the servants’ hall. You should ask him.”

“That’s a good idea,” said Belle. “I shall go in search of him when we go back down.”

“And on that note,” said Lady Ella. “I think I’ll head for the drawing room. There’s a draught in here, and it makes me yearn for a decent brandy. I’m sure the men will be finishing up their drinks soon. Shall we, ladies?”

She offered her arm to Miss Waters again, and Belle fell into step behind them, glancing over her shoulder at the portrait as they walked away. The woman in the golden gown stared back at her, blue eyes heavy with an unknown grief, and Belle looked away, her shoulders slumping a little, as though she carried some of the sadness with her.

x

Isabelle let out a contented sigh, settling back in the blankets and stretching her legs, pointing her toes. Rum was lying on top of her, a comforting weight pressing down, their bodies slick with perspiration where they joined. He kissed along her jaw, breathing heavily as he softened inside her, and she murmured happily, twining her arms around his neck as his kisses trailed across to her ear.

“Can you stay a little longer?” he murmured, and she smiled, stroking her fingers through his hair.

“I can stay until sundown,” she said. “Father went to London today, and Mother has one of her headaches. She won’t notice I’ve been gone all day.”

“Then we’ll make the most of it,” he said, and his tongue stroked the soft skin of her throat, making her shiver. 

He shifted his hips, slipping out of her, slick wetness against her thigh as his hands slid up to cup her breasts, and Isabelle sighed happily.

“I’ve missed this,” she whispered. “I wish I could spend each night in your bed, and wake up beside you every morning. We never had to sneak around so much before.”

Rum pushed up on his elbows, hair hanging messily in his face and a slanting grin twisting his mouth.

“You never had a father quite so determined to marry you off against your will before,” he said, and she made a noise of grumbling agreement.

“Remember that time at Bamburgh when my father offered you lands and you insisted on taking me instead?” she asked, with a giggle. “I thought he’d skewer you before he let you within ten feet of me, and never mind the truce he wanted.”

“Came around in the end, though.” He brushed a curl of hair back from her cheek, grinning. “I think the gold I brought helped.”

“Certainly didn’t harm your cause,” she agreed, and he chuckled, his eyes glinting.

“Although you were determined to have me anyway.”

“True. Headstrong girl that I was.” She kissed his nose. “I always get what I want.”

“That you do,” he growled.

He bent to kiss her again, and Isabelle moaned, pushing up into him as her mouth opened. His hand slid down between them, brushing over the tender skin between her legs, and she moaned again as his fingers pushed deep inside her.

x

Belle woke with a gasp, heart thumping in her chest and a heavy, throbbing ache low in her belly. She ran her hands over her face in the darkness, trying to dispel the last shreds of the dream that still clung to her. It was as though she could still taste him in her mouth, still feel his touch on her skin. It had been so vivid, so real. Almost like a memory.

A maid had been in to light the fire, but it was only just starting to burn, and the room was still cold. She rose quickly, before she could dwell on the events in her dream too much. It was distracting enough being in Ogilvy’s presence without imagining a higher level of intimacy. She felt herself blush as she remembered how it had felt to kiss him, her memory of being in his arms in the portrait gallery shifting seamlessly into the dream of being in his bed. Not his bed. His name was Rum. He had a different name, as did I, and it was a different time. All this talk of past lives has me inventing them in my dreams!

She had gone to her own bed not long after returning to the drawing room the previous evening, having had a conversation with Thwaites about the portrait, and she felt well rested. Despite the vivid nature of her dreams. Splashing water on her face was enough of a shock to clear her mind of those images, and she stripped off her nightgown, skin pebbling in the cold morning air as she dressed.

Most of her things were packed, and she had laid out a comfortable outfit for travelling, but there were some hours until they had to leave, and she felt that a walk would wake her fully. She drew on a tweed skirt and jacket over her blouse, laced her boots, and pinned her hair into place. Hat, scarf and gloves went on, and she draped her heavy coat over an arm as she made her way silently from the room. 

She headed for the main staircase, drawing on her coat. The first fingers of dawn were starting to show, and the servants were scurrying here and there. Thwaites opened the front door for her with a bow of his head and a warning about the cold, and Belle thanked him as she hurried out. The air was bitter, and she tucked her scarf around her neck a little more, shivering as she walked along the driveway and turned around the side of the house to head for the gardens. The moon was still up, the sky starting to lighten at the horizon, and she found her way easily, her pace brisk. 

Her conversation with Thwaites the previous evening had left her with more questions than answers. Despite him telling her what he knew of the Willoughby family, she had felt strangely frustrated, almost as if she ought to have known more than he did on the subject. It was as though the knowledge had been sealed in a box inside her mind, and she needed to find the key to release it.

New snow had fallen, her boots scattering the powder, and her breath misted the air as she walked along the garden paths, heading between flower beds and past the orangery towards the path that led to the lake. New snow covered the ice on its surface, clumping around the reeds that grew at the edges. There was a faint mist hanging over the lake, which seemed to grow thicker towards the foot of the nearby fells, and she quickened her pace to keep warm. Rounding a bend in the path, she stopped abruptly. Ogilvy was standing near the edge of the lake, staring out across it, a heavy woollen scarf wrapped around his neck. He seemed to be turning a pebble over and over in his hands, and glanced around with a smile as she approached. Belle felt her heart thump hard, and tried to push away the images that leapt into her mind at the glint in his eyes. For a moment, she saw the man in her dreams. Younger, thinner and more sure of himself. There had been an arrogance to him that Ogilvy didn’t have. She wondered where her mind had pulled it from.

“Miss Marchland,” he said. “You’re up early.”

“I - I had a restless night,” she said, hoping fervently that she wouldn’t blush. “Troublesome dreams.”

“I can sympathise,” he said. “I find I never properly rest in the houses of others. Despite my many years of travelling. It’s difficult to fully relax.”

“True enough,” she agreed. “And we have a long journey ahead of us today. At least we get to break it in Derbyshire this evening.”

“It will be pleasant to return to Furton Grange,” he said. “However briefly.”

“Perhaps we might get to walk in the gardens there before we leave,” she suggested.

Ogilvy smiled broadly, and bowed his head a little.

“I should be delighted.” He gestured to the path that led around the lake. “Would you like to take a turn with me now?”

Belle nodded, and took his arm, her mind still working furiously as they set off. She was chewing her lip, a nervous habit that she thought she had conquered years ago, and pressed her lips together to stop herself. Ogilvy glanced at her as they strolled along, but he said nothing, and she was content to walk in silence as she thought. It was as though she could feel pieces slotting together in her brain, but the picture she was creating was too fantastical to be real. It began to swell in her mind, taking shape, its colours growing brighter, and Belle suddenly let go of his arm and whirled on her toes to face him, taking a step back as she did so.

“I consider myself a rational creature, Mr Ogilvy,” she said firmly. “I believe in science and logic, in facts and evidence.”

“A wise choice.”

“I’ve been trying to construct a rational explanation for the experiences I have had since joining your household,” she added, and his eyebrows flicked upwards.

“And what does your logic tell you?” he asked.

“Precious little, truth be known,” she said wryly. “Thus far logic is eluding me.”

Ogilvy was silent, watching her closely, and she took a breath.

“I’ve been piecing together the scraps of evidence, for want of a better word,” she said. “It all makes perfect sense when I step back and look at the picture I’ve created from it, but the explanation my mind has created can’t be real, it just - it can’t be.”

“Why not?” he asked quietly, and she threw up her hands.

“Because it’s ridiculous!”

Ogilvy smiled slightly.

“Why don’t you talk me through how you reached this explanation in the first place?” he suggested. “I’m used to making sense of strange things, after all.”

“This may be too strange even for you,” she remarked, and his smile widened.

“We won’t know until you tell me,” he said. “If it’s ridiculous, as you say, what harm can it do?”

Belle sighed, slumping a little.

“I’m not certain where to begin,” she said slowly.

There was a moment of silence. She expected him to speak, perhaps even to coax some answers from her that she was uncertain she would be able to give. Instead he waited calmly, and she realised he would not push her to speak before she was ready. It made her feel a little easier, and she wanted to fill the silence.

“You were up even earlier than I,” she said. “Before the sun rose, I imagine.”

“Couldn’t sleep,” he said, and glanced away, across the lake. “Perhaps it’s because we’re leaving today. I wanted to get a final glimpse of the place.”

“It’s very beautiful,” she agreed. “I shall miss the mountain air when we return to the city.”

“Yes.” He hesitated, a nervous look in his eyes. “Perhaps we might come back here some time. When the weather is warm.”

“If Her Ladyship extends an invitation.” She felt herself grin. “Something tells me she won’t be asking us to remove any restless spirits for some time.”

Ogilvy chuckled.

“I imagine you’re right about that,” he said. “It’s been an interesting trip, though.”

“Despite the lack of ghosts?” she teased, and the corners of his mouth flicked upwards.

“Oh, there were ghosts enough,” he said quietly.

“I suppose so,” she acknowledged. “Such old houses have their own histories, don’t they? Their own tragedies. That portrait, for example. The one that—” she hesitated, unwilling to mention that she had found him crying in front of it.

“The one that Lady Tremaine directed you to?” he supplied, and she nodded.

“I asked Thwaites about it,” she said. “He said it was the family before His Lordship’s. Their name was Willoughby, and the woman in the painting was Elizabeth, their only daughter.”

He bowed his head a little, and seemed to hesitate, glancing up again. 

“What did you make of the portrait?”

“I suppose I can see why Lady Tremaine mentioned it to me,” she said. “Strange to think that someone from a century ago looked so much like myself. I almost felt a sense of kinship with her.”

He smiled faintly.

“What do you know about her?” he asked.

“She was sent to an institution,” said Belle. “Apparently she was heartbroken. There was a man she loved, and whom she could not marry. Thwaites said that perhaps her parents wouldn’t allow it, and so she chose no one. Poor thing.”

“Yes,” he whispered.

“I wonder what became of her true love,” she mused. “Who was he? Someone of lower birth, perhaps, if her parents disapproved. Or perhaps he had no money.”

Ogilvy pulled a face, and turned back towards the lake, bending to throw the pebble in his hand. It skipped across the surface three times, skittering on the ice before disappearing in a clump of reeds, and he straightened up.

“No, he had plenty of money,” he said dryly. “Though likely not enough to overcome her parents’ disapproval, had they known of him.”

“You know who he was?” 

She should have felt surprise, she knew that. Instead it felt like satisfaction, his words confirming something she had hardly dared admit to herself. Ogilvy heaved a sigh, his shoulders slumping a little, as though he regretted mentioning it.

“His name was Alistair McGregor,” he said, his tone heavy. “And when he wasn’t searching every benighted social gathering in London for her, he was in Boston, burying himself in work in a pointless attempt to take his mind off the pain of being parted from her.”

Belle stared at him, mouth open.

“Thwaites couldn’t tell me anything about the man she loved,” she said. “No one knew his name, she kept it secret.”

Ogilvy was eyeing her steadily, but then shrugged.

“I used to live in the area,” he said.

“Oh.” Belle felt her brow crinkle as she tried to remember their previous conversations. “Why did you not mention it before?”

Another deep sigh, and he glanced away, across the lake.

“It was a very long time ago,” he said. “Another life, another time.”

It wasn’t the first time he had mentioned other lives. A figure of speech. Perhaps he was here in his youth. It must be that. Any other explanation would be ridiculous!

“What else can you tell me about Elizabeth?” he asked, and Belle shook her head.

“Very little,” she said. “You seem to know more about that part of her life than I. Thwaites said that her father lost his fortune not long after she was institutionalised.” 

“And so the whole family suffered,” he said quietly. “So much suffering caused by the loss of true love. So much - waste - from one ancient tragedy.”

His fingers stroked his right hand, toying with the moonstone ring through his glove, his gaze far off. Belle swallowed hard, and was surprised to find that her eyes were stinging a little, as though she wanted to cry. She blinked rapidly, remembering how she had felt when she looked at the painting, as though she shared Elizabeth’s grief.

“I suppose a woman in her position would have little freedom to choose for herself,” she said. “It’s sad to think that so many had to do their duty and choose money and power over finding love.”

“Indeed.” Ogilvy’s voice was barely above a whisper, his gaze still fixed on a point across the lake.

“Sadder still that she could not be with the one she loved, and therefore chose to be alone,” she added. “After all, my own mother grew to love my father. Perhaps Elizabeth might have grown to love the man her parents chose.”

“Wouldn’t work,” said Ogilvy abruptly, and she felt herself frown curiously.

“How can you be so sure?” she asked. “One has to make the best of things, after all.”

His smile was wry as he turned on his heels to face her.

“And how does one make the best of losing one’s true love?” he asked, and she bit her lip, blushing a little.

“I - I don’t know,” she admitted. “Having never been in love, I can’t profess to understand it.”

“There is no greater sorrow,” said Ogilvy, his voice oddly hoarse. “Than knowing who you are meant to be with, and being parted from them.”

His eyes were shadowed, his shoulders a little slumped, as though the sorrow was his own. Belle shook her head.

“You sound as though you speak from experience,” she said. 

“Yes,” he whispered.

“Would you tell me about it?” she asked gently, and his mouth flattened, his jaw working a little.

“It feels as though your soul has been torn in two,” he said, his accent thickening. “Consumed by grief, buried in darkness.” 

He was gazing at her steadily again, and her eyes stung, a pain growing deep in her chest as what felt like an ocean of tears rose up inside her.

“I’m - I’m sorry to reopen old wounds,” she said. “It seems to be something I keep doing with you, and I don’t understand why.”

“Don’t you?”

Belle turned away, blinking to dispel the tears that wanted to form. She inhaled deeply, drawing frigid air into her lungs, gazing off towards the snow-capped fells, the rising sun tinting them rose-pink above the early morning mist.

“I - I suppose I can see why poor Elizabeth Willoughby ended up in an institution,” she said. “Grief is a terrible burden to bear.”

“Yes,” he said softly. 

“I’d like to think that treatment of such things has improved in the past century,” she added, “but all too often women’s suffering is dismissed as trivial. Perhaps if she had received prompt attention and understanding, there might have been a different outcome.”

“Perhaps.”

His voice was a whisper, and Belle turned on her toes to face him.

“But I still don’t understand why you were so upset at the sight of her portrait,” she said, and her voice softened. “You were - you were crying. Why?”

Ordinarily she would not have mentioned someone exhibiting such a display of emotion, but she had been trying to reason out what had upset him, and as the only explanations her mind could imagine were fanciful, she had decided to ask. Ask the right questions, Belle. Even if they seem completely ridiculous. 

Ogilvy, for his part, did not seem discomfited by her observation.

“Being here has reminded me of past pain,” he said. “And past failings. I’m afraid you came across me at a time when these memories were - particularly upsetting.”

“When you happened to be looking at that portrait?” she said flatly.

“Yes.”

“Why?” 

He hesitated.

“I’m not sure how to explain that.”

“Please try.”

He glanced away, his face twisting a little, as though it hurt to think of it.

“The woman in the painting reminds me very much of someone,” he said. “Someone I lost. Someone I failed.”

“Oh.” Belle took an involuntary step towards him, reaching out as though she would touch him before letting her hand drop to her side. “I - I’m so sorry.”

“My life has been filled with sorrow, with regret,” he said. “Until very recently, I wondered if I would ever feel happy again.”

He was staring at her earnestly, the rising sun catching the rim of his glasses, making him squint a little.

“Until - very recently,” she said slowly.

“Yes.”

Belle nodded. Impossible. It has to be impossible. It can’t be real.

“You asked me about Elizabeth Willoughby,” she said. “But what can you tell me of her?”

Her words were rapid, hurried, as though her thoughts would seem less ridiculous if she spoke them quickly. Ogilvy smiled briefly.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing,” she echoed, and almost felt herself deflate.

“I can tell you nothing of the life Elizabeth had,” he said. “I can only tell you of the man she loved. I can tell you that he loved her too, and that he searched for her. All his long, desperate life, he was looking for her.”

“How can you know that?” she whispered.

Another tiny, humourless smile.

“I think you know.”

A tear tracked down one cheek, icy in the chill wind, and Belle dashed it away with her glove. You know. On some level, deep within, you know. Ask him.

“When we first met, you looked as though you’d seen a ghost,” she said. “You - you said I reminded you of someone.”

“Yes.”

“Who was she?”

Ogilvy licked his lips, glancing away briefly before looking back.

“The last time we met, she was called Isabelle.”

Isabelle Beauchamp. No, that’s ridiculous! That was a dream, nothing more!

“Isabelle,” she repeated. Belle. He called you Belle, that first day in his library.

“Yes.”

“And - and you loved her,” she said softly.

“Yes,” he whispered. “I will love no other. Not ever.”

Belle felt as though an icy hand had reached into her chest, squeezing her heart, freezing her from within.

“But…” She swallowed hard. “But you kissed me.”

“Yes.”

His gaze was steady, his eyes pleading, and she shook her head.

“I - I don’t understand,” she said. “You said that you loved this woman, that you will love no other, and - and yet you kissed me. You kissed me as though - as though you loved me.”

Her voice was a whisper at the end, a breath into the freezing air, and he stepped forward, his own breath ragged, white mist in the pinkish dawn. His eyes were fixed on hers, the glint of tears behind his glasses.

“I have loved you from the first moment I saw you,” he said sincerely. “And I will love you until the world ends. Until the end of time itself. I will step into the abyss still loving you.”

Belle sucked in a breath, her pulse pounding high in her throat and the frozen air sitting in her lungs like a ball of ice around her heart. She wanted to reach for him, to kiss him, to fall into his arms. It was as though her feet had been frozen in place, and all she could do was stare at him like a fool.

“You have no idea how hard it’s been to act appropriately around you,” he said, his accent thick with emotion. “I have wanted to take you in my arms and kiss you since the day you came back to me, and having to pretend this - polite indifference is killing me!”

“Please!” She closed her eyes briefly. “We agreed to move past what happened.”

“We did,” he agreed. “And I would not have mentioned it had you not asked, but now that you have…”

He took off his hat, running a hand through his hair with a frustrated sigh before cramming the hat back on his head.

“You said you dreamed of me,” he said urgently. “On New Year’s Eve, you told me you had dreamed of me.”

Belle wanted to groan.

“Please don’t remind me of what I said that night,” she said. “I’d drunk rather too much champagne.”

“Was it true?”

“I—” She cut off, glancing away in agitation before turning back. “In some respects, perhaps. I dreamt of a man who looked like you, but - but he was not Tristan Ogilvy.”

“Ah,” he said. “One of the others, then.”

“What others?” she demanded. “Who are you?”

“It’s not who I am,” he said. “It’s who I was. Who we were.”

“Tell me.” Her voice was urgent, ragged, and he moved closer.

“I’ve had a hundred names,” he said gently. “A hundred lives. I think you’ve dreamed of some of them.”

Belle shook her head, but fragments of her dreams were creeping in, flashes in her mind like memories. 

“I was Cerin, and you were Elena,” he said, “and we lived in caves and tents made of skins, and hunted demons from the frozen north to the shores of the southernmost sea.”

His voice was trembling, and she could see tears spill over and roll down his cheeks, shining in the early morning sun. Cerin. Our bed was made of furs, warm and soft, and he told me his heart and soul were mine in all the lives to come.

“I was Cameron, and you were Lira, and I first kissed you on Midsummer’s Eve when your father was too drunk to notice,” he said. 

He kissed me in the wet grass, our heads full of mead and the taste of honey on his tongue.

“I was Rum, and you were Isabelle, and - and I couldn’t save you.” His face was twisted in anguish. “Please, sweetheart, tell me you remember!” 

“I don’t!” she blurted. “I - I can’t! It’s not possible!”

He reached for her, a desperate look in his eyes, and she pulled back, stepping away from him, her breath coming hard in her chest. Ogilvy raised his hands, palms facing her in a gesture of appeasement.

“I - I know it seems strange,” he said hastily. “Impossible, almost. I know that. But - but a part of you knows it’s true, I can feel it. You feel the connection between us, just as I do. The bond is still there, just - just weaker, that’s all. The Seer was right. It may have been broken enough to keep us apart all these years, all these lives, but - but it’s not gone completely!”

“Seer?” She shook her head. “Our - our bond? What are you talking about? 

“We made a promise to each other,” he said desperately. “We promised forever, and I tried, Belle, I did! I tried to find you! All those empty years! All that - all that pain. Lifetimes of heartbreak and loneliness. All that time, I’ve been looking for you, and - and now that I’ve found you—”

“There was no finding involved,” she said, her tone short. “Merely a word from Lady Ella and a letter of recommendation. There’s nothing supernatural in that.”

“I’m convinced Fate has an uncommon sense of humour,” he admitted, “but—”

“I was at Furton Grange for five years,” she interrupted. “No doubt our paths could have crossed before now, If Fate had wanted to concern herself.”

“Belle...”

“No!” she said sharply. “It’s ridiculous! Past lives don’t exist, and - and even if they did, we wouldn’t know it! We wouldn’t remember each other! It’s madness! No better than Lady Tremaine and her non-existent spirits!”

He opened his mouth, seemed to think better of it, and shut it. There was a look in his eyes, a mixture of frustration and desperate longing. His body seemed to be humming with energy, and he was almost bouncing on his toes. Belle shook her head.

“I don’t know how to respond to you,” she said. “One minute you kiss me and the next you talk of impossible things. It’s highly unsettling.”

Ogilvy settled back on his heels with a defeated sigh, hands falling to his sides with a soft thump against the thick wool of his overcoat.

“Yes,” he said quietly. “I suppose it is.”

There was silence for a moment. She could see his thumb worrying one of his fingers through the glove, and she knew it was the ring he wore. She remembered the time she had touched it, the strange flash of sensation that had gone through her. Ogilvy glanced up, his gaze steady once more.

“Tell me,” he said. “When we first started this conversation, you said the only explanation for your experiences that you could come up with was ridiculous. What was it?”

Belle opened and closed her mouth, glancing around as though she would find answers in the snow-covered trail, in the frozen trees. You thought about past lives, her mind said snidely. You came up with the idea before he poured his heart out to you. Are you so sure of this world that you can reject your own theories out of hand?

Ogilvy smiled slightly, breath making steam in the air around him, snatched away in the light breeze.

“You feel it,” he said quietly. “You feel it, and you’re fighting it. That’s alright. The mind likes to try to make sense of things, and the gods know there’s little enough sense in what happened to us.”

“I don’t understand you,” she said, frustration making her tone sharp. “In fact - in fact I almost feel as though I don’t know you.”

To her surprise, his smile widened, his eyes softening.

“No,” he said. “But you will.”

[kareofbears]

Ok. . . but can you give an in-depth explanation as to how you feel about akeshu?

yes. 

rest is under the cut since this is going to be a long answer 

im a big big big big big fan of enemies to lovers. love it. loved the initial hate, the heightening tension between two characters with conflicting situations or personality types. i love the anger, the arguments, the sighs from everyone around them because they’re tired of the repetitive beef. during quarantine, i even wrote out and gave a verbal presentation to my beta explaining how an enemies to lovers arc would work through writing and all the needed dynamics in order to justify a person falling in love with their enemy. 

and yeah, the process is the best part of it. i want to be able to see the transition between worst enemy to begrudged partner to lover. that’s the best part!!! the character development!!! the molding around each other and learning to accept their character flaws!! the willingness to defend that flaw in front of other people!! 

but here’s where the problem lies: akechi goro. 

oh akechi. oh akechi goro, the bane of my existence and the object of affection by everyone in this god forsaken fandom. look, i get it. it’s really really fucking hard to resist the charm of akechi goro, i admit it. he’s so interesting, he’s so in-depth, he’s so cool and rugged and he’s such a bastard that you end up kind of being obsessed with him, and that’s fine. I'm also kind of obsessed with him. 

but i don't like him. because he isn’t a likeable character. there’s a huge difference between thinking he’s a fantastic character and loving him. because i don't love him. i hate him. i despise him. he’s caused so, so, so much grievance, so much pain to so many characters in persona that it honestly impossible to give him a redemption arc. it’s not possible. even if you go down the Black Star route (amazing fanfic, brilliant work) it still doesn't redeem him. he killed futabas mom (which literally led her to her spiraling depression and self hatred and manifested intense mental illness that led to her isolating herself from the world and made her lose her mom that she loves so much) and killed haru’s dad (how on earth can you justify that one??? god, haru wanted nothing more than to just see her dad happy again) and killed so many other random people!! and don’t feed me that “oh he had a sad life” shut the fuck up literally everyone in p5 had a sob story and you don't see them killing people. he’s complex, not likeable. 

but here’s the good part: the game doesn't want you to like akechi. i mean it. they never said what he did was okay (never. they never said it was okay), they never said that you had to like him. all they said was that you had to work with him. even in the third semester, the one people are so insistent on calling a redemption arc, isn’t a fucking redemption arc. they just want you to see who akechi really is!! without the facade!!! all they want is for you to see how complex he is, see him spiral and angry and bitter and they want you to see him turn out the complete opposite of akira. 

and here’s where we actually start talking about akeshu

akechi and akira are two halves of the same coin. akira chose the side of justice (by ironically being a criminal) while akechi chose the side of vengeance (which is ironic, since he’s a detective.) see, even with that whole crime vs justice thing, they’re connected. the person who ruined their life is the same person (shido), they both have had hard lives. but they turned out as opposites, with akira having a much better life than akechi--which is why akechi is so obsessed with akira. what does akira have that he doesn't? why did he turn out happy when he’s still miserable? and that creates a tension (which we will talk about later)

akechi and akira are rivals. they are connected, they always will be. it’s a hero/villain narrative that we all love, it’s an interesting character dynamic. it’s fun to see them interact. 

but by god, it does not mean that akechi and akira are good for each other. i would go as far to say it would do akechi a huge disservice as a character if you made them end up together. 

remember how akechi is a complex character? if akechi ends up with akira, you would essentially be ripping out all of his complexity just to have both of them date. akechi doesn't want to be with akira, and if you honestly think akechi is in love with akira id be surprised because he’s not--he’s obsessed with akira, infatuated with him. what he’s feeling isn’t love, it’s the feeling of frustration. he doesn't care about akira, or anyone. he cares about himself, and that’s it. which is what makes him so interesting because this never changes throughout the entire game!!! that's so FUN!!!

and the game never wants you to forget that complexity!! because they never gave akechi a redemption arc!! they want you to remember him as someone who’s willing to die for himself. (and, in a way, that’s the extent of akechis mercy. because before shidos palace, he wasn't even willing to die for himself, you know what i mean? he was willing to die in shidos palace because that’s what he wanted, he wanted to defeat shidos cognition of himself, he wanted to save the thieves because they were the first to listen to him and understand him, but he didn't really do it out of empathy. he did it because he’d rather die than continue living shidos lie--funny because that how he ‘dies’ in the third semester. nice one atlus)

and i get it. the game gives them such an undeniable tension that its super easy to see it as love, but its not. it’s not love, guys. that tension isn’t love, because what it’s actually tragedy. it’s tragic that akechi can’t have happiness (in canon, at least.) it’s tragic that akira, the person who loves his friends more than anything, who would die saving someone he doesn't even know, it’s tragic that he can’t save someone who’s the most desperate to be saved. and that is why i love platonic/non-romantic akeshu, because i think that concept is way more interesting than them falling in love. it’s about akira’s obvious trauma that he couldn’t save everyone, it’s about akechi’s hard-headedness about not wanting to be saved because he’s been let down too many times for him to ever put trust into anyone again. 

it’s tragic. it’s meant to be tragic. persona 5 is a game about fighting for reality, and reality is fucking hard. so the fact that these two people have such a tragic ending despite what we, as an audience, are used to (happy endings), is part of the game. they’re not meant for each other. they won’t work, they don't work. that tension isn't made out of love or sexual tension--it’s stemmed from tragedy and hate and confusion and such a deep rooted sadness from inside of them. 

they both deserve better than each other. akira deserves to be with the friends he made in tokyo, and akechi deserves to be with someone (if he lives) who isn’t associated with the metaverse at all. he deserves a clean slate, he deserves a fresh start. he deserves a reset. 

and another reason is that akira loves his friends too much. he would do anything for them. it’s supposed to be funny--the wildcard, with no vulnerability, no weakness, has the most weakness out of all of them because he cares too deeply about his friends that if one single thing were to hurt them akira would fold like a deck of cards. you think akira would do that to haru? to futaba? yeah, right. he would never. akira can forgive but he would never forget. he’d never compromise. not for his friends.

so going back to the topic of enemies to lovers--akeshu is not enemies to lovers, because there are certain rules for enemies to lovers. enemies should be fun. it should be people on the opposite team with different perspectives. enemies should not be morally horrific. the ‘enemy’ should be forgivable. both characters should still come off likable. they should both be able to stand up on their own legs as characters even if you take away their love interest. for example, hermione/draco wouldn't work because draco calls Hermione a slur on many occasions. that is not forgivable. if draco instead, i don't know, cheats off her test or something and she gets mad and they have a back and forth thing, then sure, hermione/draco could work. 

a fantastic enemies to lovers would be snowbaz from carry on. uh, zootopia? thats a great one. natsume and mikan from gakuen alice is good too!! basically, there’s a lot of actual good enemies to lovers out there. enemies to lovers shouldn't be morally ambiguous. it should be fun. it should be the right kind of tension. the characters should be likable from both sides. and akeshu does not have that. 

tldr stan akiryu and akesumi instead 

[2manyfandoms2count]

Friends who cook together...

I saw today's prompt for @auyeahaugust (College AU) and thought it would be the perfect opportunity to share the beginning of this fic I've been working on!

It's actually based on @e-milieeee's post, I couldn't resist the cooking trope 😬

Hope you enjoy!

Read on AO3 (gasp)

---

Lesson 1: Ratatouille

Adrien Agreste was the perfect man. Good-looking, hard-working, charming, he was the prime example of the son-in-law every parent wanted, and the people his age who didn't want to be him wanted to date him.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng wouldn't deny she might be classified in the latter category, although less so than when she was younger. She was good friends with the model now. Voluntarily so. You didn’t fight and defeat Paris’ number one villains for years, growing from a teenager into a young adult together, without getting close. Their respective crushes on each other had faded over time, but it didn’t mean they would’ve said no if all the circumstances aligned, although they wouldn’t have admitted it out loud.

The one thing Adrien Agreste wasn’t, though, was a good cook. Not that he didn’t have everything he could possibly need in his kitchen. The apartment he now lived in, although a huge step down from the Mansion that had once been his home (but what wouldn’t be), was still a lot bigger, and a lot more comfortable than what a normal student should have been able to afford.

It was a lot better equipped, too.

Marinette had told him the contractors were abusing his trust by installing things that were way more expensive than they ought to be, knowing he wouldn’t double check, but he’d waved her concerns away. With his father’s demise, he’d just wanted to move out as quickly as possible to avoid the crowds of paparazzi, and if signing a very large cheque could provide him with the knowledge the workers wouldn’t blab, then so be it. He couldn’t bring himself to sell the Mansion despite the knowledge it had been Hawkmoth’s lair the whole time -there were too many memories associated with his mother there- but he’d had some offers to rent it out for movie settings which would definitely cover the costs of keeping it, as well as his rent. He’d looked into his finances and put all the money he’d earned as a model in a bank account, and donated the rest to a fund to help Akuma victims. There was no way he was keeping his father’s dirty money when so many people had suffered at his hands.

Since then, Adrien had fallen into a nice little routine as he moved from Lycée to University. He made the most of his freedom by exploring every nook and cranny of Paris without anyone being able to say anything about it. No curfews, no limitations, but for his own tiredness and others’ private property, of course.

It left little time for him to learn basic cooking skills. He was often too tired to make anything when he came back from his nocturnal meanderings, so he went for the easy solution: food delivery. There were so many restaurants nearby he could’ve eaten something different every night for a month and still not have gone through all of the options. It was more diverse than anything he’d ever eaten, and it suited him just fine.

Little did he know that this habit would be disrupted by his best friend moving in next door.

Marinette had been looking for a new flat. Not that she didn’t enjoy living with her parents, but she found herself wanting a little more privacy now that she was at University. The reveal that she was Ladybug had brought a lot of attention to the Tom and Sabine bakery, which was good, but a lot of it was journalists prowling around in the hopes of getting an exclusive interview with her. She was tired of being pretty much mauled anytime she left the house, and although she could easily leave via the rooftops as Ladybug, she refused to let them dictate how and when she could get in and out. Which is why, when she’d seen the words “à louer” on a window of Adrien’s building as she visited him for their weekly game night, she didn’t think twice about calling the number. Adrien had been a step ahead of her, so the owners were expecting her call. A week later, she had officially moved into the flat across from his.

She hadn’t paid much attention to his habits at first. She was too busy settling in, and with all the planned evenings with Nino and Alya, plus the ones with the Miracuclass students who remained in Paris, she didn’t see how late he came back at night, and ordering in didn’t seem out of place. What better than a pizza for poker night? Or sushi for movie night? It was easy .

As winter settled in, though, and nights out dwindled to once every fortnight, she noticed the ballet of scooters and bikes that came almost at a fixed time every night. Generally when she was about to fall asleep, doing a grand job at waking her up. Groggily stalking up to the window one evening, she’d noticed Adrien meet the delivery person as he came back from wherever he’d been, paying his due and coming up. She’d dismissed it due to midterm season approaching, but exams had come and gone and things hadn’t changed. She kept an eye out, and after two additional weeks of seeing Adrien collect a brown paper bag, knowing fully well that he ate a sandwich every midday thanks to her father’s well-meaning gossip, she’d decided to take action. She couldn’t let her partner have such a questionable diet.

“What's it going to be tonight?” She asked, leaning arms crossed against her door frame one night as he appeared on the landing.

Adrien froze at the top of the stairs and looked at her like a deer caught in headlights.

“Er…“ He raked his mind for something, anything that would sound even remotely healthy, but nothing came. He sighed defeatedly. “None pizza with left beef.” He mumbled, his head lowered guiltily. He’d seen the meme the night before, and had wanted to try it out.

“What?”

He repeated a little louder.

“Okay that’s it, you’re coming over to my place for dinner.”

He knew from her tone of voice there’d be no arguing with her, so he sheepishly followed her inside her flat, still clutching his pizza box. He wasn’t too unhappy about the outcome, if he was honest. Marinette was a good cook. He’d have a nice meal tonight.

“What about the pizza?” He asked weakly.

“We can use it as… bread, or something.” The girl suggested, crinkling her nose at the thought. For someone who came from a long line of bakers and was part Italian, calling the contents of the box pizza or even bread seemed inherently wrong.

Adrien trailed a little behind her as she walked towards her kitchen, marveling at what she’d done with the place.

Marinette’s apartment mirrored his in terms of structure, but whereas his decoration was very minimalistic, hers was a lot more eclectic, without looking cluttered. Her furniture wasn’t a set, yet fit together very well and gave the space a cozy feel. The painted walls, as well as the coloured posters, curtains, rugs and cushions made it feel very homey. He wanted nothing more than sit on her sofa and snuggle under the knitted blanket with her to watch a movie.

Platonically, of course.

Adrien walked into the kitchen and was greeted by the pastel yellow of the walls and warm lighting. Her utensils provided nice splashes of colour that brightened up the room. He particularly appreciated the Ladybug-themed colander that was drying next to the sink.

“If you look in that bottom draw,” she indicated with her foot before reaching for a jar of dried rice in a cupboard, “you should find some saucepans, if you could take two out please, Chaton.”

He obliged, resisting the temptation to lift her up to help her. He knew she wouldn't appreciate it.

“Can I put you in charge of cooking the rice?” She asked, handing him the packet. Adrien accepted it but looked at her quizzically.

“Sure!” He replied excitedly. “Do you have the instructions anywhere?”

Marinette stopped in the middle of washing vegetables she’d taken out of the fridge and squinted her eyes as she gauged whether or not he was joking. He seemed genuinely at loss for what to do.

“Have you never prepared rice before?”

“No?”

“It’s like pasta.” His clueless face made her sigh defeatedly. “You’ve never made pasta either, haven’t you.”

“Does instant ramen count? Or pasta boxes?” He flinched slightly.

“How you’re still alive and actually fit is beyond me.” She rolled her eyes. “Right, I guess we really are starting with the basics then. Consider this lesson number one: pour some water in that saucepan.”

She moved away from the sink to allow him to access it, but stayed close enough to be able to turn the tap off for him. He clearly had no idea of how much water was needed.

“Right, now put the saucepan on the hob, and turn it on.” She saw a smirk spread on his face. “And don’t even think about making a joke, I know what it sounded like!”

“You’re no fun, Buguinette.” He pouted, pressing the button she indicated.

“Add a little salt, and then we’ll just let it come to a boil.”

Next, she handed him a chopping board and tomatoes. She hesitated before giving him a knife. “Can I trust you not to cut yourself?”

“Har har.” He grabbed the knife. “Joke’s on you, because salad is actually the only thing I know how to make. How do you want these?”

She resisted making a comment on how knowing how to make salad wasn't something he really could brag about. “Sliced. We’re making ratatouille.”

“Ooh, nice!”

He listened as she talked him through the recipe, impressed by the fact she didn’t need a cookbook to remember how to prepare it. She taught him how to prepare an aubergine, which he could recognise thanks to the emoji, but could not imagine how to bring to an edible form.

“We just want to sear them in some oil with the courgettes, then we’ll let them cook gently with the rest of the vegetables and the herbs.”

He’d been quite dainty on the amount of herbes de Provence he’d added, which had prompted her taking his hand and shaking the spice pot to cover the tomatoes with it.

He looked at her concentrated expression as she stirred the pan and couldn’t help but smile, his hand still hovering above the hob.

Marinette looked at him inquisitively. “What?”

“Nothing.” She raised her eyebrows. “I just forgot how cute you are when you’re bossy.”

Marinette stammered in response, her cheeks pinking. It didn't matter how at ease she felt with Adrien now, she still couldn't take a compliment from him. He grinned and took advantage of her distraction to steal the wooden spoon from her and taste the dish.

“Authorisation to add a little salt?” He asked, refilling the spoon with ratatouille for her.

She took it, trying not to focus on the fact his lips had been just where hers were. She let the flavours flood her palet thoughtfully.

"Authorisation granted."

She smiled fondly as Adrien excitedly added missing spices to the mix.

"See? I am a competent cook!" He added with a satisfied smile.

"Please, you're barely a sous-chef." Marinette snorted. She backtracked her slightly harsh words seeing her partner's pout. "Don't worry though, you'll get the hang of it! It's just a question of practising." She rubbed his back encouragingly. "Would making the plates pretty make you feel better?"

"I think so." He mock sniffled.

Marinette made a point of taking out her Chat Noir plates, which she'd been planning on keeping for special occasions. The way Adrien's face lit up upon seeing them made the fact they were her only dishes that couldn't be dishwashed seem irrelevant. Adrien made a mental note to try and find matching Ladybug ones, although he wasn't sure if he would be gifting them to her or keeping them for himself.

Marinette busied herself with tidying up the kitchen and laying the cutlery as he worked on the presentation. Had her phone been nearby, she would've taken a picture of him as he blepped in concentration.

"Does this look good enough for Madame la Chef ?" He asked as he presented the plates to her. He'd positioned the vegetables around the rice so as to make it look like a flower.

"It's perfect, Chaton." She kissed the top of his head as she passed behind him with a packet of smoked ham. She rolled the slices into little roses and planted them in the rice.

"A table?" She asked as she finally sat down opposite him.

Adrien dug in before she could say bon appétit .

---

When Adrien came home from his morning run a couple of days later, a fresh croissant in hand, he found a conscientiously wrapped package on his doormat. The black polka dots on the field of red were a dead giveaway as to who it was from. He grinned as he picked it up and opened the door.

Breakfast and washed hands later, he sat on his couch, facing the present. He was torn between tearing the wrapping, or being civilised about it. Before he could choose, Plagg flew nearby and obeyed his cat instincts, swiftly disappearing back into his Camembert cabinet with a grin to avoid his holder's reprimands.

"Je sais cuisiner." He read the title and laughed, holding the book in front of him. It was an old edition, a yellow hardback with a picture of the author on the cover.

A post-it note stuck out from the top of the book. He opened it to get to the bookmarked recipe.

For Adrien - saw this and thought of you! Since you're so keen on instructions, this might do the trick! Feel free to use it often ;-)

Love, Marinette

P.S.: I suggest we try this recipe next!

Adrien read through the page, and felt his stomach grumble. He was very pleased at the thought that something had reminded her of him and that she'd bought it for him. The "love" and the fact she was obviously looking forward to repeating their cooking experience were added bonuses.

He himself could hardly wait.

[starglossie]

bokuto/ushijima - g - 4.7k - it’s the simple things

Bokuto asks, “You know Ushiwaka, right?”

“... I do.” Kiyoomi folds his arms. “Why?”

“Is he single?” Bokuto blurts out.

There’s silence for a few minutes and then all Bokuto hears is Atsumu howling, “Holy fucking shit, what?”

can be read here on ao3 and below under the cut

Bokuto likes to consider himself a simple fellow. This isn’t meant to be taken in a bad way either. Simplicity is not bad. What he takes it as, of course, is that it doesn’t take much for him to determine what he enjoys and what he can really do without.

For example, he loves volleyball. That is his blood and sweat and tears. It’s his first inhale when he wakes up and his last exhale before he sleeps. He loves Yakiniku. Beef is quite literally the best.

He loves words but spelling them is another matter. Well, he doesn’t dislike spelling. He thinks it’s rather fun to figure out what letters go where. To double check with someone—usually Akaashi because Akaashi was so brilliant that Bokuto was happy he could always turn to his best friend with questions and receive the answers he was looking for—about whether or not receive was spelled r-e-c-i-e-v-e or r-e-c-e-i-v-e.

He doesn’t get taxes. Though he figures that’s not something people usually get, they just do. He’d rather not do them, if he had it his way. Then again, being a good citizen also has its perks. Like no jail time.

And he doesn’t think he’d do too well in jail. Well, maybe at first.

To circle to the point of this! Because there’s a point. Do not think there was nothing to gain from this ramble. No, no. You see, when it comes to relationships—do not question the connection between taxes and meat and volleyball and relationships, because it’s there even if one cannot see it because Bokuto knows it’s there—Bokuto is pretty simple.

Again, simple isn’t meant to be a bad thing.

Simple in the way that Bokuto likes people for who they are and whatever it is they wish to be. Simple in the way that Bokuto doesn’t quite get romance, he can figure it out along the way as he normally does, but he knows when he wants someone. When he wants something. And whenever he’s wanted something, he’s always gone for it. Again, simple. If he wants it, why stop himself from having it? If he wanted someone, why stop himself from having them?

Of course, when things get complicated. He understands that. He realizes just because he wants something badly enough doesn’t mean it’ll always find a spot nestled in-between the love-lines of his palms. Doesn’t mean they’ll create a nest and nestle themselves within his ribcage, right by his heart, the birdhome for their fluttering rings to take rest.

But really, when things are simple. It doesn’t take much for Bokuto to find a reason to pursue someone.

/

It’s the warm up before their big game against the Adlers.

Bokuto’s been looking forward to this game all month because it’s basically one giant reunion! He gets to play with his prodigy, Shouyou. And he gets to show off his wicked spikes set from TsumTsum. And he gets to witness Omi-kun’s nasty southpaw spin.

Not only that but the Adlers have Kageyama and Hoshiumi and Ushiwaka! It’s a whole party as far as Bokuto’s concerned.

“AH YEAH!” Bokuto feels the beautiful sing of his spike ring across the volleyball court. The ball connects with a thunder clap on the other side. His arm feels good. That swing had the right power. And that set? “TsumTsum!” Bokuto flashes Atsumu with two, big thumbs up. “That was an amazing set! You gotta do that like, every time today okay?”

“Hey, you’ll like whatever set I give ya!” Atsumu’s grinning, though. Which means Bokuto delivered exactly how he was supposed to for Atsumu’s standards, and then some.

“Bokuto-san, that was soooo good!” Hinata shouts from behind. He’s stretching with Kiyoomi, who’s currently in the longest split Bokuto’s ever seen.

“Thank you, Shou! I’m gonna do that all game, so watch out!”

“Big talk,” Kiyoomi responds as he extends his body all the way to his right foot to stretch. God he’s so bendy. Like a bendy straw. Bokuto wonders if he had any bones or if he was just jelly and muscle and bendy stuff. “Our bet’s still on, Bokuto-san.”

“Hell yeah. I didn’t forget at all. I want beef! Lots of beef, Omi-kun!”

“You haven’t won yet.”

“I mean, for when I do.”

“Oi, enough chit chat.” Atsumu takes up another ball which means another set was coming. “We’re not done warming up.”

“Right right!” Bokuto gets ready for the set. He’s ready for it when a giant thunk resounds throughout the court.

Everyone’s heads turn just in time to catch no one other than Ushijima Wakatoshi receive a volleyball straight to the head. It was the most beautiful thing Bokuto’s ever been able to witness in his twenty-three years of life. Ushijima didn’t even stutter. He barely quivered. He took the ball to the head with so much grace and power.

Bokuto clutched his chest. Felt a horribly loud, wonderful ache. The way his blood would pump and his heartbeat would pulse whenever he was about to serve. Or whenever he got close enough to a dog to pet.

It was an enjoyment. It was a like.

“That was so hot…” Bokuto murmurs as he watches the Adlers coach rush over to check on Ushijima who, for all intents and purposes, seems to be okay…

Bokuto grins. Then turns his attention back to Atsumu who’s doubled over with laughter and tears in his eyes. It takes about three minutes for him to calm down but when he does, they don’t miss a beat with their sets and spikes.

The synergy of setter and spiker carries them through the game, and it’s enough to give them the win once it’s all said and done.

“You lost the bet,” Kiyoomi says in the locker room after their coach finished congratulating them on a game well played.

Bokuto wipes his face off with his towel, “Mmm. Yeah, I did.” It’s not a bad outcome. All he has to do is ask the mascot to borrow his Jackal suit for a video. And… find a bikini big enough to fit over the suit. But that’s not really important right now. Gold eyes flicker up to meet Kiyoomi, eager and full of wonder. Kiyoomi raises an eyebrow and Bokuto asks, “You know Ushiwaka, right?”

“... I do.” Kiyoomi folds his arms. “Why?”

“Is he single?” Bokuto blurts out.

There’s silence for a few minutes and then all Bokuto hears is Atsumu howling, “Holy fucking shit, what?”

-

Ushijima Wakatoshi is incredibly single.

This puts Bokuto in a stellar good mood as he makes a beeline for the Adlers locker room.

He gets a few hellos, a couple of questioning looks as he all but storms through. But that’s fine! Because he’s on a mission. A not so secret mission because now half his team knows that he’s interested in Ushiwaka and wants to take him out.

“Because he took a volleyball straight to the head?” Atsumu was on the floor, near death, from laughing so hard his spleen nearly exploded.

“No no that was really cool,” Hinata said on the bench, fists clenched in solidarity for his mentor. “I for sure thought he was gonna die!”

“He brings a new definition to the word hard headed…” Kiyoomi said though Bokuto couldn’t tell if it was said in a derogatory way or in a awe-wow-that’s-so-cool kinda way. So he decided it was both.

His teammates cheered him on to propose, well no. Proposition? Hm, no. Not the right word either. He was going to propel himself (yeah, that felt right) into the Adlers locker room and into Ushijima’s face and ask a very simple question.

“Ushiwaka!” Bokuto hollers as he finds the man in question step from around the corner. Fresh out the shower with his hair dripping wet and a towel hanging low on his hips.

Ushijima locks eyes with Bokuto and wow, he really was handsome up close. There’s even a red spot from when the volleyball had hit him on the head! Still there! God, that was so cool…

“Bokuto Koutarou,” Ushijima replies. And wow, he even made Bokuto’s name sound important and serious.

Bokuto shivers and takes a step forward. “Do you wanna go out with me?”

Kageyama, who was sitting on the bench at the end, spits out his sports drink.

Hoshiumi shoots up like a rocket, “No way! No waaaaaaaaay!”

Ushijima blinks, “Out where?”

“On a date, of course.” Bokuto’s never been shy. He’s never been fearful. Not really. There was nothing wrong with putting yourself out there. The worst thing Ushijima can say is no. Before, when he was younger, Bokuto would be utterly devastated from the rejection. Now though, if Ushijima were to say no he’d take it in stride and at least try for a friendship, if anything.

What he doesn’t expect, though it’s not a bad thing, is Ushijima’s second blink followed by, “Why?”

Bokuto shrugs, “I liked seeing you take that volleyball to the face. That was really cool and kinda hot. So I figured I’d ask ya out on a date! Cause I received a ball with my chest before and I know how that feels!”

Ushijima nods as if that makes sense (it does, because Bokuto knows Ushijima gets what he meant by that. The power and hunger to keep the ball in play no matter what had to be done to do so). He doesn’t say anything after that and for a minute Bokuto wonders if the rejection is coming now. But then Ushijima sticks out his hand in front of Bokuto and goes:

“Alright.”

And Bokuto gets utter chills as he grabs his hands and shakes it for all its worth.

“It’s a date! I’ll text ya the details—wait, I need your phone number. Then I’ll text you the details.”

“I have to tell Sachiro about this…” Hoshiumi makes a beeline for his phone.

Kageyama has some gatorade on the side of his mouth as he says, “Is… is nearly getting a concussion attractive?”

Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to, Kageyama.

/

Thanks to Akaashi, Bokuto’s dressed decently for his date.

“No, those colors don’t match.”

“But this is my favorite shirt and pants!”

“Okay but they can be worn separately, not together. Wear that green shirt. The one you bought for Konoha’s party.”

“Oh yeah! The green shirt! That one with these black pants?”

“That works.”

“Kaashi you’re the best!”

So now, he’s standing at the planned meeting spot for Ushijima to arrive. He’s about fifteen minutes early but that’s okay because then he got the joy of seeing Ushijima from the crowd, spotting him, and getting to wave him over and everything. Bokuto hums to himself as he waits. Excitement barely being able to describe the giddiness through his system. It’s equal parts nerves but not bad nerves. And equal parts serotonin from the spontaneity of it all.

After they exchanged numbers two weeks ago they texted everyday. Ushijima is a really good texter! Bokuto likes how thoughtful Ushijima is with responses. Bokuto knows he has a lot to say and he can take over a conversation pretty easily, sometimes without even realizing it. But Ushijima doesn’t make him feel bad for taking up space. For talking and talking, even when a million things hit his brain at once. Ushijima notices all the million of things and responds to them in earnest.

It’s nice. It’s a warm feeling. A fuzzy sun in the solar plexus of Bokuto’s chest that stretches out it’s lazy sun rays all across Bokuto’s body.

When he spots Ushijima in the crowd, he doesn’t hold back his yell.

“USHIWAKA! HERE!”

Ushijima looks left and right before his gaze lands on Bokuto and Bokuto feels a zap.

The crowd looks as Ushijima strides over to him. Not wearing a cap or anything. A few people notice him and ask him to take a picture or try to say hi. He stops. Freezes. Makes eye contact with Bokuto and Bokuto makes a move.

“Hey everyone! Yes, it’s Ushijima but it’s also me, Bokuto! We’re about to hang out and we have lunch reservations. Can we quickly take pictures and maybe another time we can chat and talk?” He smiles, the one smile Akaashi said could charm a mass murderer to put down their weapon. Which was kind of a cool superpower now that Bokuto thought about it but he would rather take a mass murderer out with his fists than his smile…

That appeases the crowd. They take a few pictures. Sign a kid’s volleyball (which Ushijima was happy to do, Bokuto peeps from the side as Ushijima goes “You like volleyball?” and the kid responds, “Yeah! Watching you made me love it!” and it’s the tiniest smile Bokuto’s seen but gosh the warmth it creates in his chest. Atsumu would say he’s ‘down bad’ and perhaps he is! But it’s not so bad to be so… down? He’ll work that out later) and then, after both of them got lost on the way to their destination, finally reached their destination.

“So this cafe is cool cause it’s run by one of my buddies I met once when I was on a run.” Bokuto explains ripping apart his chopsticks so he can dig into his bowl of ramen. “Right ok so I was running and I was super hungry because I forgot to eat before my run and this guy goes ‘Oh you’re hungry? You like ramen?’ And I said ‘Literally ramen is one of my fifty favorite bowls of things to eat that comes in a bowl’ and he goes ‘Well you’re in for a good bowl then’ and bam,” Bokuto takes a long slurp of thick, soaked noodles. They’re just as warm and delicious and soothing as they were the first time he tried this place’s ramen, “I’m here like almost once a week now.”

Ushijima takes his chopsticks apart slowly. He is much more, hm, not delicate? More… controlled? Yeah! Controlled! With his movements. While Bokuto is all in, engines raring, full steam ahead with devouring, Ushijima takes his time. He savors his noodles. And Bokuto leans forward, eyes wide, blinking owlishly as he waits for his reaction.

Ushijima swallows his noodles and stares back at Bokuto for several seconds.

“Is it good?” Bokuto asks because he hates silences.

Ushijima nods, “It’s good.”

Bokuto fist pumps the air, “Yes! Ah, I’m so glad you like it! Cause if you didn’t, I’d be sad.”

“Why would you be sad?”

“Cause, ya know,” he takes another round of noodles and slurps it for good measure. “When you’re showing the person you like something you like, you want them to like it too. Or you hope that they like it. So they can experience the same joy you feel about that thing. And then it’s kinda like we’re connected now. Like this noodle connects us,” Bokuto holds up a lone noodle in between his chopsticks and then slooooooooops it into his mouth.

Ushijima looks like he’s taking apart all of Bokuto’s words. Carefully considering their meaning, their methods, and their madness. Finally, he goes. “You like me.”

It’s not a question.

Bokuto grins, “I do!”

“We’ve barely spoken.”

“Yeah that’s what Omi-kun said too when I asked if you were single.” He catches the way Ushijima’s eyes rise slightly at that. And he keeps going because Bokuto Koutarou has never had anything to lose before, and he certainly wouldn’t have it today. “But I mean, like I said. You received that ball with your forehead Ushiwaka.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“I know!” Bokuto laughs and he says, “Wait. Sorry. I’m not laughing at you.”

Ushijima’s eyebrows grow this adorable wrinkle between them. “You didn’t have to clarify.”

“I know but like, I also just wanted to let you know my laugh isn’t making fun of you because I feel like giving the situation, it may come off that way! So I wanted to make sure you knew. Because I would like that.” Now he’s rambling, and he knows that. But he hopes Ushijima understands what he’s trying to say. It’s such a small thing, but Bokuto’s known the cruelty of seemingly innocent gestures that were more devilish than angelic.

After a while, Ushijima’s crinkle goes away. He nods, slowly, and he says. “I appreciate the consideration.”

Bokuto’s lips pull into a smile, bright and a little crooked.

“So yes, I like you.” Bokuto continues. “Even though we’ve barely spoken. And even though it all came from me seeing you receive that ball to your head. But I also decided we should go on a date, cause I’m interested in you. And I wanna get to know ya more.”

“I’m not interesting.”

“That’s not true!” Bokuto leans forward. “You were the number one ace in Miyagi Prefecture and ranked among the country's top three aces! That’s so epic!” Bokuto leans forward, folding his arms across his chest. “I used to be up there too with ya’ll but I was really inconsistent so I couldn’t stay there permanently.”

Ushijima nods, “I remember watching a few of your games. Your emotions get the better of you.”

“That they did! Or well, they still do.” Ushijima’s bluntness does not add salt to wounds. Rather, it’s refreshing. Bokuto enjoys the bluntness. Because it’s not wrong. Bokuto’s emotions had gotten the better of him when he was younger. He was better at managing them now. At learning how to let himself feel but not get overwhelmed. What was the word for it… coping! “But not so much anymore. Cause I realized I’m just an ace, ya know?”

“Just an ace,” Ushijima repeats. Bokuto waits to see if he’ll get that too. If he’ll understand what Bokuto means because not many people can understand it. “You’ll deliver no matter what.” It's a sweet sigh of relief, the feeling of a cold shower after a hot day, and Bokuto nods vigorously.

“Yeah! Yeah! Exactly!”

They eat some more and Bokuto asks about California a bit more. Ushijima mentions how California was surprising. He ran into Iwaizumi Hajime and he got to meet with his father. How California was a weird place, but not in a bad way.

“Did you get to play volleyball a lot?”

“Yes.”

“That’s awesome. I’ve always wanted to go to the states. Would you go back?”

“I would.”

“Oh, maybe we could go together! Ah, wait.” Bokuto raises a hand. “That’s forward. I’m sorry. This is literally just our first date.”

“We can go.”

Bokuto’s jaw drops, “What? Really? Wait,” Bokuto feels like he needs to connect some dots. “Ushiwaka, can I ask a question?”

Ushijima frowns, “You never stopped to ask a question before. Why ask now?”

“Cause I just wanna clarify! You know, when I say I like ya—it’s cause I wanna like, date ya. Or see if you’d be down for dating. Or like, you know. Potentially being boyfriends?”

“I see.”

“Oh thank God. Wait, you see what?”

“I was under the impression you wanted to hang out.”

“I mean, yes! But also, not just hang out. Like, we would be hanging out but maybe sometimes hold hands?”

“How are you sure that after this you would want to hang out with me more? Or at all. I’m not…” Ushijima pauses, as if to consider what to say next, “like you.”

“Duh,” Bokuto says. “I don’t want you to be. The dates are so we can get to know each other. Cause we don’t. And that’s why I ask ya a bunch of questions! Cause I’m interested in ya. I can also be more blunt if you’d like.”

“Blunt would be good.”

“Okay well I think you’re incredibly handsome. Like, when I saw you today my heart raced cause you looked really good. The red varsity jacket over the green v-neck?” Bokuto nods towards Ushijima’s outfit and grins, “it’s a really good look. You’re really cute.”

Bokuto waits for Ushijima’s reaction. To see if he’s said too much or just enough. He watches as Ushijima’s cheeks color red and his ears catch on fire. He coughs, and covers his mouth with his hand. Eyes darting to the side, before coming back to meet Bokuto. He coughs again. He lowers his hand.

“Thank you,” he says. “I’m not sure how else to respond.” Another moment, “You’re bluntness is. Yes.”

“Thanks,” Bokuto feels incredibly pleased with himself. He happily finishes his bowl of ramen and then asks for the drink menu so they can figure out what they'd want. “Do you drink?” He asks as the waiter comes by with their menus.

“Occasionally.”

“Awesome. Show me what you like to drink! We can order that.”

“I’m not really particular.”

“That’s okay. You can choose whichever one speaks to you. I’ll enjoy anything you get us.”

Ushijima fixes Bokuto with a look, “Bokuto Koutarou.”

“That’s me.”

“You’re very strange.”

Bokuto’s smile ticks at the ends, “So I’ve been told.”

“I’m sorry. That’s. Not in a bad way. In a good way. Like your bluntness.”

“Thank you,” and the solar flare in his chest grows a little warmer as the waiter comes back and they put in their drink orders.

It’s a good night after that.

/

“You really went on a date with him?”

Bokuto finishes his last rep with an exhale. Sweat’s on his brow as he stares at Kiyoomi in front of him. They’re at the gym on their day off. Conditioning and working out so they could be ready for practice tomorrow.

Bokuto gets up so Kiyoomi can take his spot and says, “Yup. I know you’re dying to hear the details.”

“I’d rather be dead than hear the details.”

“Oh Omi-kun! That was a good way with my words!” Bokuto claps and Kiyoomi rolls his eyes so far back into his skull Bokuto’s afraid they’ll get stuck there. “I mean, I don’t have to share if you don’t wanna hear but…” Bokuto sighs, pretending to be forlorn. Looking off towards the distance as if he’s waiting for his lover to come back home. “I haven’t gotten the chance to tell Kaashi about it cause he’s been busy with work and I really would like to talk about it…”

Kiyoomi looks like he’d rather eat a rotten onigiri ball than hear about Bokuto’s love life but then, because underneath all his grouch Kiyoomi’s a really nice dude (or well, maybe nice is too strong a word… let’s say he’s capable of human decency on a good day) Kiyoomi goes, “You have until I finish my reps to talk about it.”

Bokuto takes the bone like a dog, “Okay so the date was great!” He starts and then he goes on about how Ushijima is really cool and thoughtful and their conversation was never boring or had an awkward tilt and that he feels like they had a really good first date.

“Do you wanna know if we kissed?” Bokuto waggles his eyebrow.

Kiyoomi grunts as he goes through a rep, “No.”

“Well that’s good ‘cause we didn’t! But,” Bokuto looks at the palm of his right hand as if it’s a rare jewel. “We did hold hands. I’m a shy guy you know, Omi-kun. I can’t just kiss on the first date… and I don’t think Ushiwaka woulda been comfy with that either!”

Kiyoomi grunts again, “Such a gentleman you are.”

Bokuto chuckles, “I know. I’m great. Anyways!” He knows he’s got only about less than a minute to finish his story before Kiyoomi tunes him out. “We’re going on a second date next week. The Adlers have a few away games and that’s gonna make him busy but we’re gonna text and call and stuff while he’s away! And then do a virtual movie night which is fun cause we both have the same taste in movies!”

“What a surprise.”

“I know! That’s what I said!”

Kiyoomi finishes his set and that signals Bokuto about his time running out. Which was fine and good because he said all he wanted to say. Kiyoomi pants, catching his breath and running a hand through his hair. He fixes Bokuto with a look that Bokuto assumes is to figure out whether or not he’ll say something grouchy or something moderately decent.

“You know. I didn’t think you two would get on so well. I’m glad it seems to be working better than anticipated.”

“... Omi-kun,” Bokuto sniffles, feeling tears in his eyes. Kiyoomi twists his face up in disgust and bolts upright from the machine.

“No. No tears.” He starts power walking through the gym and Bokuto is right on his heels with happy tears down his face and his arms out wide.

“Omi-kun, you’re the best!! Omi-kun!”

“GO AWAY BOKUTO-SAN!”

/

“... And then I told Kaashi he should ask out Osamu because I’ve seen Osamu checking out Kaashi when he thinks it’s not noticeable but jokes on him, I totally see it.”

“You have a good eye.”

“I do! And then Kaashi was like super worried. And when he worries he likes to overthink the craziest scenarios like: ‘What if I ask out Miya-san and a meteorite falls onto the shop’?”

“I don’t think meteorites eat rice balls.”

Bokuto throws his head back with laughter, rolling onto his back on the bed with his phone held high above so he could see Ushijima. He laughs so hard he’s sure his neighbors can hear. But he doesn’t care. Because Ushijima was so fucking funny.

He wipes the tears from his eyes, staring at Ushijima’s confused look at the screen. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t laughing at ya. I was laughing because you’re right, meteorites wouldn’t like rice balls a bit I think.”

“So he has nothing to worry about,” is Ushijima’s sound conclusion.

“Exactly! I’ll let Kaashi know you think so too and tell him to go for it.” Bokuto turns onto his side, so he can hold the phone a little closer. So he can feel like he’s tucked into bed with Ushijima by his side. “Hey, Ushiwaka,” he says with a yawn.

“Are you getting tired?” Ushijima asks, concern laced at the ends of his words. “It’s late. We can call again tomorrow.”

“Nuh uh. Not yet,” Bokuto shakes his head. “Just wanted to say it’s nice talking to you and stuff… getting to know ya… and stuff. Are you also enjoying this? What we’re doing?”

“Does it look like I’m not?” Ushijima’s brows wrinkle in the way Bokuto was learning meant Ushijima was worried something he said or did had come across negatively. He’s quick to reassure, because he gets that fear. He understands that worry. And he hates having to deal with it himself. He’d never want anyone else to have to feel that way because of him, especially Ushijima.

“No no, not at all. I just wanted to know how you were feeling as all! And I wanna hear if you’re liking this too.” For purely selfish reasons. Because while Bokuto is a simple creature, he also craves the satisfaction of reciprocation. Of knowing this is worth it, and that he is not alone in this feeling of a crater being scraped in his heart that’s shaped like Ushijima Wakatoshi.

Ushijima’s crinkle disappears. There’s some shuffling and Bokuto smiles as he sees Ushijima is also laying on his side, facing Bokuto. It feels like they’re both in the same bed, facing one another. So close their knees touch. So close their breaths could intermingle. Close enough to feel right.

“Yes,” comes Ushijima’s quiet confessions. “I’m enjoying this as well. Thank you for asking.”

“Thank you for answering, Ushiwaka,” and the solar flare grows. It’s such a simple answer. It’s such a simple response. But Bokuto’s a simple man. Pleased by the simplicity of Ushijima’s earnestness and the sincerity of his words. He yawns again, “Alright. I think with that, I can sleep soundly tonight! We’ll talk tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yes,” Ushijima says, and then he goes, “I’m looking forward to it.”

Bokuto’s near tears, “Yes! Same! Same!” He squeezes his phone so tight it might burst. If his heart doesn’t do so first. “Okay. Okay that was so cute. You are so cute. Good night, Ushiwaka! Talk to you tomorrow!”

“Goodnight, Bokuto Koutarou.”

The call ends and Bokuto’s in darkness. He brings his phone to his lips and he feels the heat on his cheeks. The rush under his skin.

He’s a simple man. But that’s not such a bad thing—not at all.

[fabulouspotatosister]

onions

a/n: I wanted to add to this series because I haven’t added onto it for a while and was also starting to regret making this a series at all, so I wrote this to get my head back in the game. I’ve got some other Doctor Who fics coming up that aren’t part of this series, and maybe a big rewrite of another Doctor Who fic I’ve already posted.

This was inspired by a prompt send by @timelord-winchester-22b​ in the thirsting for thirteen Discord server I’m in! Love you lots.

Enjoy the fic!

“Welcome back, you guys!”

Yaz gives you a big hug, squeezing you so tight it’s a reminder that she’s a policeman. “I didn’t expect to see you up!”

You’d bumped into the fam as they returned from another adventure with the Doctor and shuffled down the hallways to their rooms in the TARDIS. By bumping into them , you actually meant that they found you standing outside your room - which you (technically) weren’t allowed to leave.

After your capture, the Doctor had suggested lots of bedrest so that you could heal. For a while, this was alright - your soft bed and the fact that you were safe on board the TARDIS usually staved the nightmares away, and the Doctor’s constant presence while you slipped in and out of consciousness was enough to keep you very comfortable for a long time. But that bedrest eventually transformed into “indefinite bedrest”. The Doctor, fiercely protective and understandably scared, usually refused to let you move or leave your room, until you managed to convince her that you were mostly fine and that she needed to let you walk around or else you would go absolutely stir-crazy. That worked sometimes.

And then there’s the added factor of the fact that she kissed you while you were still bedridden, and has never mentioned it since.

“Tell you what, I’ve been missing real food,” Graham starts, and Ryan gives his grandfather a suffering look. “The Doc’s been taking us everywhere except places we can actually eat, and when we do get somewhere she usually manages to interrupt before I can get a good bite.”

“Yeah, we’ve all been eating take-out,” Ryan says. “Or the space version of it, I guess. You’re lucky, you actually get to use the kitchen.”

You shift on your feet, amused - but your amusement quickly fades when you put a little too much weight on one of your legs and feel a sharp pain lance up your muscles. You inhale sharply at that, very nearly buckling to your knees at the pain, which slowly becomes a dull ache, radiating from a certain point in your knee. Ah, maybe I forgot to mention that to the Doctor .

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” you mutter, reaching out to grip a part of the wall. Yaz looks like she moved forward to catch you, so you shake your head at her, managing a strained grin. “I forget which leg I was stabbed in, sometimes.”

Your attempt to make one of your life-threatening injuries a joke doesn’t land, because of course it doesn’t.

The fam all stare at you, faces drawn. You know that look. They looked at you like that when you were still recovering, when you had burst into tears and sobbed into the Doctor’s arms when you found out exactly how long you were captured, when you had flinched away from Ryan as he celebrated winning a round of a video game, when you had refused to touch the Doctor after you jostled the bandages on your leg. And you hate it - you’re getting better, you hope, day by day, and you’re going to prove it.

“I can make you guys something,” you offer, raising your hands when you feel steady enough to stand on your feet, and try not to feel anxious when Yaz raises her eyebrows, “something from home. If you want, I mean.”

They stay silent after that, exchanging silent looks with one another. You can practically hear what they’re thinking - if it’s safe for you to be in the TARDIS kitchen alone, surrounded by knives and things that burned, or if it’s safe for you to be completely by yourself in the TARDIS at all without the Doctor by your side. If they had voiced their thoughts, you would agree with some of them, especially on the knives and the fire. But cooking was normal . It was something you used to do before everything happened. And even among all the adventure of travelling with the Doctor, you could use a little bit of normal.

So you roll your shoulders back, and try a smile.

That seems to work, because Graham places a hand on your shoulder and smiles back. The man always had a way of making the fam feel like a family , and the action is enough to make your smile wider. “Well, you’d better blow us away, or we’re letting you have some of that space take-out Ryan was talking about.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Thank you,” you say graciously, sincerely . Yaz nods her head at you, her eyes crinkling at the edges as her lips curl up into the faintest of smiles.

“No, thank you ,” she says, then nods her head to the side. “We’ll wait for you. Come on, Ryan.”

Yaz leads Ryan and Graham away, the sound of their footsteps echoing and eventually disappearing down the amber-colored halls of the TARDIS.

You sigh again, fishing out your phone from your pocket, and decide to look up some recipes.

A few minutes later, you come to the conclusion that you’re really not an organized person. Standing in the TARDIS kitchen, surrounded by a heap of ingredients that you haphazardly pulled out of the fridge and the pantry, you think to yourself that this is the perfect example of your disorderliness.

After much pacing the TARDIS halls by yourself, phone in hand, you’d eventually decided on a kind of beef stew you had eaten when you were young - your mother had cooked it in soy sauce and lemon juice until it was soft, and you had many fond memories of eating just the sauce over rice when the rest of your family members ate all the meat without you.

You were surprised to find any ingredients, honestly, in the TARDIS kitchen. You had just been getting by with what the Doctor was giving you in your room, which were presumably things she cooked herself (did she even cook?) or some of the leftover “space take-out” Ryan had been complaining about.

As you hold up a vaguely lemon-shaped plant to the light, you realize that maybe not all the produce is human produce. You sniffed the lemon-y plant, scrunching your nose when you come away with the overwhelming acidic smell of citrus. It would have to do.

But thankfully, the TARDIS had onions - which you needed to top the beef stew. Gingerly, you set the onions onto the already overflowing counter, then proceed to sweep the ingredients on the overflowing counter to make space for a cutting board. You try to pick the smallest knife in the cabinet ( there aren’t many, anyway ). Picking up one of the onions, you steady it on the cutting board and start to slice.

But as soon as your knife breaks through the skin of the onion, the familiar smell hits your nose, and when you start to feel your eyes prickle you groan. Maybe you should have prepared better for this.

You slice rings from the onion, and with every slice, your eyes water more and more. By the time you’ve started slicing the second onion, you have hot tears running down your cheeks. They drip from your chin and onto your cutting board. You think dimly that it must be a health hazard to cry onto your vegetables, but you’re going to cook them so it must be alright.

“Anyone in here?”

You nearly drop your knife.

Oh, crap. The Doctor’s familiar voice echoes from outside the kitchen. Instead of comforting you like it usually does, her voice makes your stomach drop to your feet. She didn’t know you had gone outside your room, and more importantly you hadn’t asked for her permission. The Doctor was very fond of making up the rules as she went. Maybe this time she would really enforce that “indefinite bedrest”.

You pick up your knife again and push away the other onion rings to make way for the third, and final, onion. Maybe if I ignore her she’ll just go away.

The sound of footsteps slowly gets louder and louder, turning from boots hitting a metal floor to boots scuffling onto polished tile. The door to the kitchen noisily swings open, creaking with disuse - which it didn’t do when you opened it, what was that about - and then softly swings shut.

You don’t turn around when the Doctor calls your name. She hasn’t said your name since the last time she left you in your room. Or really spoken to you, for that matter, except for when she has to change the bandages on a few scrapes you have that haven’t really healed. You’re not emotionally hurt, or anything, but you’re just -

The Doctor takes a few steps forward, moving a chair that scrapes against the floor.

“I didn’t expect to see you in here,” she says softly, as if not to startle you. “Honestly, no one really uses the kitchen anymore. The TARDIS usually puts it really far away now.”

You hum, staring at the one onion on your cutting board. It’s almost like it’s mocking you - when the Doctor isn’t around, you seem so confident, but the moment she steps into a room you can’t do anything . You can’t even cut a vegetable. You hate to agree with an onion, but for once the vegetable is right.

However, the thought still sends a hint of anger straight towards your heart. Holding your knife with a bit more force than necessary, you send it straight down onto the onion. You regret that when a single whiff of the cut onion makes a few more tears slip out from your eyes, and when you sniff the Doctor practically runs towards you.

Before you know it, the Doctor has placed her hands on your shoulders and turned you around, and for the first time in a few days you see her face. It hits you that you must look terrible - with tears running down your face and your nose and cheeks red and splotchy - so you quickly try to turn back around.

The Doctor pauses, quickly taking her hands off your shoulders. She looks like a child who’s just been caught doing something naughty, when it clearly should be the other way around.

“I’m sorry,” the Doctor gasps. Her shocked expression softens when she notices your tear-stained face. “Are you crying? Why are you crying?”

The Doctor quickly starts to fuss over you, furiously looking you over. She’s not wearing her coat, you notice, when she leans down and you catch a glimpse of her collarbone underneath her shirt. You mentally hit yourself when your mind drifts to thoughts of when she wrapped you in it and if she ever left it in your room.

But the room, unfortunately, still smells of onions, so a few more tears leak out. You sniff again, reaching up to rub your nose, but stop when the Doctor looks up at you.

If there’s ever a time to use the words “puppy-dog eyes”, it’s now , because the Doctor had looked up at you so sadly you’re ready to start actually crying. Worry lines her beautiful features, and when she takes your hand you feel like you’re going to combust.

God, I’ve already kissed this woman and she still manages to make me feel like a little girl with a crush.

“Are you alright?” the Doctor asks, worriedly.

You shake your head, the smell of the onions stinging your nose.

“Is this because I haven’t seen you in a few days? It probably is. Oh, I should have put in that “indefinite bedrest” rule, then maybe you wouldn’t be crying right now - or maybe that would make you cry more -”

The Doctor had been worried about you many, many times before. It was usually in extremely dire situations, and she was usually very serious when she was worried, but now it’s just… cute . Her blonde hair bounces around as she emphatically lists reasons as to why you might be crying, with none of them being any close.

Part of you wants to keep up the charade, because it’s quite cute to see her this worried - then your heart drops when you remember that the last time you had cried was when you were still very much injured and afraid, and that she had looked like she was carrying the weight of the universe when you cried.

She had very good reason to be worried before, and worry never did look any good on her.

“Doctor,” you try with a laugh, wiping the tears off your face, “I was cutting onions .”

Realization dawns on the Doctor’s face, and she lets go of your hand.

“Oh,” she says simply, standing up a little straighter. You see her purse her lips, her eyes glancing to the side - she’s embarrassed, and when you fail to stifle a giggle she actually starts to look offended . “Well, syn-propanethial-S-oxide can be very annoying. I should introduce you to an onion I found on another planet that doesn ’ t release that chemical irritant when cut. Very convenient for chefs, and - what? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Sorry,” you say, stepping to the side and showing her the counter you’d been working on. She scrunches her face at the onions, which you unconsciously mimic, because the cutting wasn’t really that good. The Doctor snatches up the weird citrus fruit you’d picked up and whips out her sonic, giving it a good scan before quickly reading the results and putting the fruit back.

“Just checking if that fruit’s poisonous. Which it isn’t. It may have gone a little bad, though.” The Doctor says, still looking at the table. “Can I have some when you’re done?”

“Always,” you say, and you watch as the Doctor goes still and silent. It’s something that she said to you, a long time ago when you asked her if you could go back to your hometown. Something she said before all of everything happened.

The sight of the Doctor with her back turned is practically beckoning you to come closer.

The Doctor was not really a hugging person. Sure, she received a few hugs from thankful individuals that you met on your adventures, but she never really hugged you, or the rest of the fam. Even when you were injured she never hugged you, but you had chalked that up to your injuries.

She doesn’t move when you place a hand on her elbow, though, so you take that as a sign to keep going. When you wrap one of your arms around her waist, you feel her tense up. When you wrap your other arm around her waist, fully hugging her, you think you feel her breathing hitch.

Sometimes silence speaks louder than words. You can feel the Doctor’s worry practically radiating off her body. You press your face into the Doctor’s back, feeling the soft fabric of her shirt and taking in her scent - which, you discover, is vaguely of honey. The Doctor lifts her hands to lay it over yours.

“You’re worried,” you whisper.

“How can I not be?” the Doctor asks softly. You feel her stroke your hand with her thumb.

“I’m okay, I’m right here,” you say, “ and I’m getting better . Thanks to you.”

The Doctor turns around in your arms. You still have your arms wrapped around her waist, but now that she’s facing you your back hug has turned much more intimate. She lays her hands on your waist, not bringing you any closer but not pushing you away either.

This was the Doctor, brave and reckless and unique, and she was sad .

“You don’t have to be worried.” You smile, unwrapping one of your arms and raising a hand to her face. She doesn’t flinch away at your touch. “It’s just onions.”

“It’s just onions,” she repeats, finally breaking out into a smile. She reaches up to grasp the hand that’s resting on her face, looking both surprised and in awe.

I love you, you think, and all you know is that even if you’re not ready to say it yet, you already feel so loved.