#I never got rid of 1 in the first image

[michax-forever]

All the adopts I've done so far!! All of them have been sold already but I thought I'd share them here since I have nothing else to post heehoo

[nitrowyverine]

I thought playing Obscura would help me get rid of my brain worms. no, it just gave me new ones. For Obscura, specifically.

I'll be adjusting the format from my TOUCHSTARVED expanded thoughts post. Brain dump after the cut!

[Demo/CH 1 spoilers are included]

(Header Image from Itch.io page! All images in this post are either from there or the Rotten Raccoons tumblr page)

Design/gameplay thoughts:

In full honesty without fluff: this game fucks immensely.

The setting for Obscura might be my new all-time favorite, like, ever. Mystery underground scandalous marketplace??? Under a mountain???? it's a diverse and vast city that's still elegantly contained and claustrophobic, but in a spicy way. The worldbuilding and flavor is excellent. I really want to run a TTRPG in a similar setting now, since its an area with so many possibilities.

CH. 1/the "demo" has a LOT of meat on it. It's got different endings, variations, a whole soundtrack. Speaking of sountrack-

Obscura is also one of the few games I've put on the soundtrack to just to vibe to. The soundtrack is SO good, and sets such a strong mood/tone. I think it complements the game perfectly.

Allot of people have mentioned it, but I am also a fan of the Safeword pause menu. It's a nice and comforting touch, especially when the game can get so intense. It lets players take a breather if they need it, but also doesn't interrupt the intensity/mood of the game for someone who doesn't want a break from the narrative.

Now, onto character specific thoughts!

Cirrus:

IN MY HOUSE WE DON'T BELIEVE IN NOT STARTING OUT STRONG

Shout outs for having your asexual option in the dating sim be. The kinkiest guy there

Cirrus is a bit too intense for me, however, that is NOT a bad thing in the slightest. I think his route is well done for those who are up for his brand of intensity.

I might still play his route because. damn this boy's issues got me curious about his backstory. ($10 on mommy issues)

I had the hardest time getting to Cirrus's good end during my playthrough because having pretty much any self-preservation instinct around Cirrus gives you a bad/neutral ending. He's the only one I had to pull the guide out to get the best ending. (I think I'm just too sassy)

I get medusa vibes from Cirrus. The snake imagery is more likely tied to the lunar church, but his staunch reluctance to take his own mask off makes me wonder (this is mainly referenced in asks answered by the Rotten Raccoon studios). Refusal to let people see his eyes + snakes + power + slightly unnatural abilities to influence is, something.

I am shaking this man like a snowglobe WHAT IS YOUR DEAL I MUST KNOW MORE

(I am. metaphorically shaking him like a snowglobe. I would never shake this man im terrified)

CONCLUSION: Most likely to shame you for your anime choices. Least likely to be normal about it when you ask for help peeling an orange.

Keir:

HERE COMES BIG MAN

yeah he's tied for favorite right now. the slow burn in his plot is just too good? big man....freckles...secret soft side...im weak

he's so nice I keep forgetting. He kind of kidnaps you? not even kind of he just drags you off the street and goes "you live in my house now". Even Griff calls MC a stray early on. My man really said "Here's a convenient lost human I'm dragging them home now"

oh my GOD they were ROOMATES

I definitely was too nice to him in my first playthrough until I realized he does need (and want) to be sassed to death.

this man is like 6'6 and the canon-ish Vesper height from the CG is 5'4. THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE. This kills the man (me)

The sprite of Keir's ears blushing SENDS ME INTO A FRENZY

I quite liked the gameplay style of Keir's route. I was so focused and invested as soon as I realized I needed to remember specific directions to save the heist group during timed decisions

Something I haven't seen discussed yet: I'm mega curious about the dagger Keir has on his outfit. It's specifically pointed out in text that it's high-quality, and I vaguely remember an ask that Rotten Raccoons answered that said it's a status symbol. (The dagger also just looks SO cool. and....it looks like Francesco's...?)

(My bet is that he either 1. stole it. or 2. got it from Oleander during their tryst (WHICH WE ALSO NEED TO TALK ABOUT-))

CONCLUSION: Most likely to be gifted a "WORLD'S BEST DAD" mug from his similarly-aged peers. Least likely to live down that one time he ate soap because he thought it was edible.

Francesco:

someone keep the "silver dust" away from this lad im scared

Originally, I was least looking forward to playing Francesco's route since I just wasn't interested in his initial concept. After playing his route though? It was excellently done, and I genuinely had fun. It was refreshing to have a character more naive than Vesper, so more cultural aspects were explained and we got a good alternate perspective on the marketplace. Also, it got REAL spicy in new and exciting ways the other chapters didn't. I'm really looking forward to the next chapters with his route!

I totally love the contrasts in his design and his character. He's got both bright red and blue highlights in his design, his outfit is very pointy and angular while his hair/smile is soft and flow-y.

And in his personality, he's both sweet and open, but extremely cagey about some information, and quite pragmatic when he wants to be. I think he's way smarter than he lets on.

that doesn't mean I don't want to bridal carry him and tuck him into bed at night after a all-nighter party

I do think Fran's slightly looser demeanor could lead to him being even more brutal than the other LI's. Remember that one anime clip (Found it, it's this one from Danshi Koukousei) where a group of friends wants to fight for fun, but one of the friends asks why they need rules in a fight? And said friend is shown like secretly holding a rock and was ready to use it? that's Fran. He would not have chill and does not heed the rules.

"Protect the boy", but mostly to prevent him from tasting blood. Because if that happens we're all fucked

CONCLUSION: Most likely to eat that M&M off the ground because you dared him. Least likely to beat the puppy allegations.

Oleander:

Oleander is tied for favorite with Keir. Oleander is just *chefs kiss* LOOK AT HIM. inscrutable......

Somewhere in an ask answered by Rotten Raccoons studio, they mentioned that for Oleander's route, they were going for a "Sexy boss situation that doesn't feel like a work safety violation". They hit that right on the nose; there's intrigue and a power imbalance, but in a non-restrictive or terrifying way.

I love being involved in the business part of his route. I keep making decisions like "Hmm yes my primary goal is to romance Oleander. But what would be the smartest business move here? How do we advance our agenda?"

Also, I do love playing a sexy evil secretary in a vn. love having a job and being evil at it AND being paid money. 10/10

That dance scene is everything I could have ever wanted no notes

I am fascinated to find out more about what he's been up to since his last trek into the marketplace. Seems like people are trying to kill him all the time anyway, so what would be enough to cause him to leave?

he's like an angler fish, but the lure is his booba

I relate to Oleander in that. I have too many online usernames because I can't stick with one. People get my 800 online names mixed up often. He has the same problem, we're basically twinsies

This man is pretending to be a himbo like his life depends on it (It probably does). He's too smart though, I know for a fact he has at least three different schemes going at any given time.

CONCLUSION: Most likely to be able to help you properly lace a corset (this man knows the boot-to-the-back necessity of the process). Least likely to be allowed to be banker during monopoly night.

Vesper:

black mask enjoyer 4 life

(all three are good I just wanted to say which one I picked. And to add my conclusion section)

CONCLUSION: Most likely to get their shit rocked by a falling piano. Least likely to survive an argument about pineapple on pizza.

Concerns:

With how separate the four routes are, the game could potentially feel like four separate visual novels all in one universe. Maybe I haven't played enough VN's, but there is a feeling of separation between the routes.

In the very beginning of the game, when you're picking your route, I wish there was a bit more heads up/information between who you're picking. For example, I had a rough idea that going into the church is where you'd find Cirrus, but only from information outside the game. I didn't know sticking around for the brawl would push you into Kier's route. It's overall pretty vague to which route you're going based on only in-game information.

Misc thoughts:

Vesper: "How are you going to keep me?? ;)" Keir and Oleander: "crimes" Vesper: "Wh-" Keir and Oleander: "you're an accomplice now congrats we're in this together. wanna get drinks"

catch my socially anxious ass wanting to be under the mountain and wear masks so I don't have to make eye contact with strangers all the time. at least its a fun thought to have when I mask for covid

OKAY FRANCESCO AND KEIR'S DAGGER MATCH? AND ARE RED/BLUE LIKE FRANCESCOS OUTFIT? DOES IT MEAN ANYTHING??? probably not but I do like the pretty knives....

For real, I got the brain worms for this game, I'm on the edge of making a big ol playlist. the headcannons? They go on my friend. they go on. I'm laying awake at night thinking about what each character would order at a coffee shop

by the time I publish this post. I did start working on the playlist

yes, I've also designed my own vesper, its such a prime opportunity for character design.

Obscura also may or may not have inspired me to get involved with an otome jam game team, more on that in the future possibly.....

OVERALL: I got the first chapter/demo of Obscura for free from Itchio/steam. High marks for writing, sound, art, game design, all of it! I am on the edge of my seat waiting for CH2.

TL;DR: If you haven't played it, and love spicy and dark stories, go play it! Part one is free! and fantastic.

Itch.io

Steam

[lexa-griffins]

@lg-wifey4lifey encouraged me to post the idea I sent them of The Room inspired Clexa AU so here's the 2k word vomit

Lexa and Clarke are young, early 20s. Clarke got Lexa pregnant accidentally but they worked their ass off to buy a house with the help of Clarke's parents, all ready for their baby. They should be around 21.

Lexa is about 4 months along when she's kidnapped and basically considered dead because kidnapping a pregnant woman is usually not to keep her around. Clarke never gives up hope nor does she move, she continues living in their house with the nursery ready and everything the same, even decorating how she knew Lexa would like it.

In the mean time, 7 years pass. Lexa has given birth to little Aden while being kept in a room. Due to rape she has also now given birth to a little girl, Madi, about 3 years old. She has a necklace with Clarke's picture and she always told both kids that was their mama even Madi.

Madi manages to escape one day with Lexa's help, her necklace around her neck and she tells her to find someone and tell them she's looking for her mama and her name and where Lexa and Aden are. Its a big ask for a 3 year old who knows nothing of the outside world but even if they cant find it at least Madi will be free.

Clarke gets a call. The police know her well. She comes to the police station heart bearing faster and they tell her they have a 3 year old girl saying she is her kid. Clarke's confused. They were expecting a little boy and he would be 6 now not 3.

But the moment Madi sees her she runs to her crying and calling her mama. Madelyn was the name they were gonna use if they had a girl. She looks so much like Lexa. And the necklace is the one Clarke gave her when they celebrated 1 year of dating. Madi has not yet said anything, not until she's in Clarke's arms does tell where mommy and Aden are.

Clarke waits with Madi on her lap inside the police car. She doesn't know if the piece of shit who kidnapped Lexa and her son didn't get rid of them in the 2 days it took to find this place. She knows Madi is his bio child, but to Clarke, she is already hers.

They bring him out in handcuffs first and Clarke wants to go and punch him and kill him but then there's noise.

Madi is letting go of her hand and running towards Lexa screaming mommy.

Clarke is frozen in place.

She's so much thinner now, Clarke's last memory of her being of her bump already showing Her eyes are red and her face puffy from crying. But she is still her Lexa. And on her hip is a little boy. So small for age 6, curled to his mom's side. He is the spitting image of Clarke.

And then he turns and sees her. Immediately his eyes grow big, able to set himself free as Lexa holds Madi and praises her for how good she did for setting them free.

He runs to her screaming mama and Clarke opens and arms to catch him. Oh how many times did she dream how he looked like and now he is finally in her arms. Madi pulls Lexa's hand excited, walking her towards Clarke.

"I found mama! She helped me like you said mommy!"

Lexa has tried hard not to cry in front of the kids, waiting for them to fall asleep to break down.

The thought of never seeing her little girl again if she couldn't manage to get them broke her heart even more than it already had been broken before.

And then she heard the commotion outside.

She heard screams of police.

And then a silence came. She knew the walls were sound proof and still she screamed that she was here, to please not leave without her and her son, please.

It has taken 20 minutes of her screaming for them to find her and Aden. But they did.

And now she was staring at Clarke holding their son finally, looking at her like she is seeing a ghost and a miracle all in one

Lexa has tried hard not to cry in front of the kids, waiting for them to fall asleep to break down.

The thought of never seeing her little girl again if she couldn't manage to get them broke her heart even more than it already had been broken before.

And then she heard the commotion outside.

She heard screams of police.

And then a silence came. She knew the walls were sound proof and still she screamed that she was here, to please not leave without her and her son, please.

It has taken 20 minutes of her screaming for them to find her and Aden. But they did.

And now she was staring at Clarke holding their son finally, looking at her like she is seeing a ghost and a miracle all in one. And then Lexa just breaks down crying and throws herself at Clarke, who catches her, crying just the same.

Aden seem confused about it as if this should be a happy time of laughing and smiles while Madi is upset by the crying, wondering if it means something is wrong.

The three of them are taken to the hospital.

Lexa sleeps for 3 days. They confirm everything Clarke already new. Sexual abuse - in some twisted way Clarke is thankful Lexa was the only one of the three that suffered through that, although she knows Lexa would have murdered before she let anyone touch her children.

Starved and malnourished.

Two natural births, somehow both as healthy as they could be much like the 2 babies. Despite the lack of sunlight and lack of some vitamins the kids are healthy considering everything.

Lexa feared Clarke would reject Madi. Fuck, when she was pregnant with her Lexa wondered how she was going to look at her baby knowing it was his. But then she wakes up. There are hushed noises in the hospital room. Its dark, only a bit of sunlight coming through. On the floor there are toys, some Lexa still recognizes bought by her and Clarke when they found out about Aden.

Aden is next to Clarke playing happily and silently, seeming happy to just be close to his mom. Madi sits in Clarke's lap chatting away as Clarke smiles to them both, treating Madi as her own and referring to herself as mama when talking to her.

Lexa's recovery is not easy. But after two weeks, they allow her to go home.

Seems strange to even enter the car. Its a new one, try as they might they hadn't been able to buy a new one back then, settling for Lexa's old car.

Now, Clarke has a van and Lexa is shocked to see the two seats for her kids already installed, the look of pride in Clarke's face.

They have mot spoken much. Clarke has not kissed her yet, but she has kissed her forehead and held her hand, told her over and over again she loved her and missed her terribly but refused to lose hope.

Lexa loves her so much still. But being touched and loved seems foreign to Lexa now. And Clarke respects it, making Lexa's heart desire to kiss her more despite what her brain tells her due to trauma. The house is the same. It feels strange. Some things have changed but it still looks the exact same.

Lexa's jacket is still at the entrance alongside her shoes as if she has always been there. Her book, half read 7 years ago, still remains on the coffee table by the seat she used to take. There was no dust on it. Clarke kept it there on purpose, unable to put it away. She squeezes Clarke's hand seeing it all, a silent thank you for not forgetting her.

Clarke looks down. "It pained me too much to erase anything from you in the house. So i kept it where it was, so you'd have an easier time finding it when you came back."

The decorations on the nursery were still the same, everything ready for a baby that is now 6 years old. His name painted on the walls. He enters it as if it was a world meant for him. Madi on Lexa's hip looks around, as if trying to find where the little space made for her was. Clarke walks in behind them, pointing to the crib that has been turned into a toddler bed.

"I thought Madi could sleep on crib like that. I still have that inflatable mattress in the attic. I was thinking of bringing it down so you and Aden can sleep for a few days. I have a bed coming but it should take a few days still."

Aden looks at her smiling, already looking at the plushie with his name on it.

Little Madi looks about to cry, seeing how everything in the room is for her brother.

Lexa wants to hush her, almost embarrassed. Madi is not Clarke's child, she has no obligation to care for her.

"I know the room as nothing for you yet Madi." Clarke admits talking directly to the teary little girl.

"Clarke you don't have to-"

Clarke smiles at her and shakes her head "do you see that little chest?" Clarke points to the chest next to the crib "go and open it. There's a little treasure for you inside."

Madi looks at her with shinny yet suspicious eyes. Lexa settles her on the floor and Madi walks to hit carefully.

When she opens it, a squeal leaves her.

"MOMMY SO MANY BUTTERFLY!"

Lexa stares at Clarke in shock. Butterflies would fly by the skylight and Madi had always been obsessed with them. But Lexa had not told Clarke that.

"I sat down with Aden the other day and he told me everything his little sister liked. He helped me pick her clothes and toys and decorations"

Aden smiles big at his mom before running to help his sister look through her new things.

Lexa feels her heart bearing faster as she looks at Clarke.

As the kids look at the toys, Lexa closes the space between her and Clarke, kissing her softly. Clarke does not keep her longer than Lexa wishes to, even if her heart wants to hold Lexa against her lips forever.

Clarke shrugs with a smile, "i want to make sure our little girl feels loved too."

Lexa sleeps with Aden and Madi for 4 months. Clarke will lay down with them too but once the kids are down she kisses Lexa's cheeks and goes to her (their) room. Lexa had barely walked inside their old shared room since she arrived. Clarke hadn't pushed either. The only time Lexa walked in was to get a change of clothes - ones she was finally filling up again - or to look for an old cream (ones that should have expired by now but that Lexa realized had been bought again. Clarke never cared for skin care and yet she went through her creams and made sure to buy newer ones)

And one night the kids are happily asleep. Aden now has his bed, still sleeping in the same room has Madi.

They have started decorating the room next to Aden's into Madi's room, once they were ready to sleep alone.

Lexa still sleeps on the mattress. But she wakes up and sees the kids both sound asleep. She no longer has to worry about that man entering their room in the middle of the night. Her stomach no longer groans at the lack of food. Her kids have pjs and sheets and a plushie to cuddle with. Therapy as been good for them too.

So, she gets up slowly and quietly.

Clarke's room door is slightly ajar, so she can easily hear is something is wrong with the three of them.

Lexa opens the door slowly, scared to interrupt something. Inside Clarke is simply scrolling on her phone.

"Clarke?"

Clarke nearly jumps but is immediately alert, "Hey! Is everything okay?"

Lexa nods and barely says anything else. Instead she walks to the bed - her side of the bed - pulls the covers and lays down.

Clarke stares at her with a beating heart, phone on her bed side table. Lexa realizes there's a nanny cam on her own bedside table, a wave of relief washing over her when she realizes she can see her kids from here. It also hits her why Clarke always knew to come in when both kids were crying too much for Lexa to handle alone or how when Madi hit her head on the bed frame Clarke immediately came in with ice. Yet she never overstepped when Lexa didn't need her.

They stare at one another in bed for a second before Lexa starts to laugh, Clarke looking at her strangely but smiling at hearing her laugh.

"Whats so funny?"

"We made a baby together. We were almost engaged. And suddenly it feels like i am sharing a life with a crush i can barely talk to without blushing."

Clarke does not know what to say. Instead she brushes Lexa's cheek. Lexa closes her eyes at the feeling, getting closer to Clarke until her head is above her chest. Clarke wraps her arms around her, feeling a wave of relief wash over her.

"We can build that relationship back up you know."

Lexa nods lifting her head. A small peck on Clarke's lips before she wishes her a good night. It becomes ritual for Lexa to go to their room after the kids are asleep for a while. And then as soon as they fall asleep.

One night, Lexa does not go to the kids' room. When neither kid cries for her as she watches them on the nanny cam, she lays down with Clarke, snuggling into her as she did 7 years before.

[ham-st4r]

𝓦𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮 𝓟𝓽.2 - 𝓛. 𝓗𝓮𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓾𝓷𝓰

Pairing: heeseung + female reader!

Warnings: cursing, alcohol, mature content, no smut, bold is texting, green text is sunoo.

Genre: fuck buddies-ish, toxic relationship. little bit of comedy.

Summary: After you promised yourself you’d never contact heeseung again, you stayed true to your word, but, all of a sudden, he’s showing up out of nowhere at your apartment, but why?

Number of words: 3k+ I’ll update Masterlist and word count tomorrow.

Trying something new with this story, so please bear with me here’s pt.2 of wasted time I hope you all enjoy.

Find your way around!

Pt.1 Pt.3

“Come over,” Heeseung texted you a couple of days after your last hook up.

It was nearing four in the morning, and he just couldn’t seem to fall asleep, so he texted you to come over. He knew if he had a quick little session with you, that’d be more than enough to make him sleepy.

He kept his messages open cause he knew you’d be replying as soon as you got his text. You always did.

Little did he know you were on the opposite end, chuckling dryly at the recent text he had sent to you.

If that was a few days ago, you would have already been out of the house to go take care of him, but you promised yourself you were done with him, and you weren’t going to take that promise back just so he could get his dick wet and his ego boosted.

He waited about a minute or so, but you still hadn’t replied. “Hmmm,” he hummed in thought, wondering what was taking you so long to reply after the first three minutes had passed.

“Are you awake?” He double-texted you, and still no reply.

“She must be asleep,” he said to himself and tossed his phone on the bed next to him.

He looked down at his length that was straining against the fabric of his boxers, and he let out a loud groan, out of all nights. Why did you have to be asleep? He needed to feel you so bad right now.

He placed his palm over his shaft, lightly stroking it the way you always did before you gave him head. He closed his eyes, trying to imagine that you were lying between his legs, tracing your skillful fingers over his cock. Still, that image was hard to achieve when there was a huge difference between the feeling of your delicate touch compared to his rough eager one. Still, he tried to cause. Unfortunately, you wouldn’t be coming over to see him tonight. “Y/n,” he whispered your name as he circled his tip over the fabric, and that’s when he realized it just wasn’t going to work out, and he felt utterly ridiculous after trying to emulate you. “Why is she asleep?” He whined and flailed in his bed like a baby.

He cut his temper tantrum short, and despite not hearing his phone go off, he still checked just in case you might have left a message, but there was none.

He sighed loudly and got out of bed, going to take a cold shower to get rid of his not-so-little problem down there.

Needless to say, he didn’t get much sleep that night.

-

Even though he had no luck last night, he knew you were always free on Saturday nights, so there wasn’t a chance you’d be asleep, especially when it was only ten.

“Come over,” he sent the same repetitive text to you. He dropped his phone on his bed and rid himself of his clothing, getting ready for you when you came over.

Five minutes later, and he was starting to get agitated. It’s not like you had friends or anything going on, so why were you acting like you didn’t want his dick all of a sudden.

An idea popped into his head. You always came over faster when he sent you pictures of himself, so he opened the camera in his phone and pulled down the waistband of his underwear, showing a little more than the base of his cock to tease you and make you want him even more.

He took another one squeezing the outline of his cock and showing the protruding veins through the boxers he had on. There’s no way you could resist him after seeing those.

He sent them and set his phone down to the side, just waiting for your arrival.

-

The club music was far too loud, and you were way too drunk to even pay attention to your buzzing phone on the table as you held your throbbing head in your hands.

You were out with your best friend Sunoo, enjoying the weekend while he was in town, and it was definitely the most fun you’ve had in a while, especially when you weren’t planning your day around that thing that called himself heeseung.

You both drank a little too much and danced way too hard, but you didn’t regret a single ounce of it.

Well, until right now when you felt like you were going to pass out any minute. “Your phone is b-buzzing like crazy,” sunoo yelled to you over the blasting music, and you just looked at him for a few seconds before dropping your head back down in your hands. You couldn’t even comprehend what he had just said to you.

He was a little less drunk than you, so he picked up your phone and checked the messages just in case it was an emergency, and he almost threw up when he saw what it was. “What are you doing with this in your phone?” He tsked when you didn’t bother looking up at him.

An evil yet hilarious idea popped into his head. He figured he might as well do it because he wouldn’t remember it in the morning anyway.

Ewww🤮😷 he giggled after he sent the text.

“What are you laughing at?” You mumbled.

“Oh, nothing,” you just groaned in response, hoping that the pounding in your head would go away so you could leave soon.

Heeseung snatched his phone up, unlocking it right away, and his brows creased together in confusion. It was a message from you, but it wasn’t your usual response, and it made him a little uncomfortable.

“???” He sent back and anxiously awaited your reply.

“Why does it look like that?🤭” sunoo smiled as he hit the send button.

“Like what?🥺”

“Idk, it looks tiny and squishy.🍤”

Heeseung couldn’t control the blush that crept up his neck. He was feeling thoroughly embarrassed right now, even though he didn’t show it to you.

“Cause you’re not here to make it hard 😐 stop playing games, y/n I know you like when it grows inside your mouth 😏”

Sunoo literally gave you a death glare. He didn’t know this was what you got up to in your free time. Well, it was none of his business anyway. “Get it, I guess.”

“What?” You replied groggily, but Sunoo ignored you. You would have fought him for not paying attention to you, but you didn’t even remember what you were supposed to be angry about in the first place.

“No, and why is it so veiny?” Sunoo covered the lower half of his face as he continued to giggle uncontrollably.

Heeseung was more than confused. He thought you liked it when it was veiny. You always seemed to enjoy licking them before giving him head.

“I thought you liked that😕 guess not” he quickly unsent all the pictures, and suddenly he was feeling all self-conscious and insecure about himself.

Sunoo literally laughed out loud when he saw the attachments had been unsent.

“Shut the fuck up,” you said to Sunoo cause his laughter was literally ringing in your ears. He patted your head softly, and you just laid back down.

“Just are you coming over or not?” Heeseung texted back after that conversation. He wasn’t even sure if he could face you right now.

Sunoo giggled, and by now, you had started to sober up a bit, so he dropped the act so you both could head home soon.

“Y/n can’t make it. She’s like totally wasted right now.”

Heeseung squinted his eyes at the screen, rereading it over and over again, and no matter how many times he read it, it still didn’t make any sense.

“What do you mean y/n can’t make it? You’re literally her.”

By now, he didn’t know what the fuck was going on. This whole conversation was the weirdest thing that’s ever happened between you two.

“Oh, fuck, I forgot to tell you I’m her friend, sunoo. She’s too drunk to talk right now, but I’ll let her know you texted after I take her home.”

Heeseung was absolutely mortified. He dropped his phone out of his hands in utter horror. He can’t believe someone else saw those pictures.

No wonder those texts didn’t seem like you. He should have known something was wrong as soon as he saw the stupid puke emoji.

On the bright side, that meant that you did like his dick when it was like that, but on the other side, this friend of yours literally just saw his dick not once but twice. “Fuck” he wiped his hands over his face.

But what friend? Sunoo definitely didn’t sound like a girl's name. When did you get a friend, especially a friend, that you’d pick over getting dicked down by him?

He shook his head slightly. It didn’t matter. He wasn’t even in the mood anymore, anyway.

-

Another week went by of you and Sunoo clubbing cause he decided to stay with you longer than just the weekend, and you were thankful to have some company after being alone for so long.

Heeseung was still helplessly texting you every day.

For some reason, over the last couple of days, he felt weird about not hearing from you or seeing you.

He had grown accustomed to seeing you often, and your absence was definitely getting to him.

He can’t count how many cold showers he had to take when you stood him up. It had been so long since you and him had sex that he felt like his dick was going to shrivel up if you didn’t come over and wet it for him.

He knew there was no way you could avoid him, so maybe something important came up, but what did you find that you thought was more important than pleasuring him? He wondered.

“You okay?” He texted just to make sure you were alright, but when you didn’t respond, it wasn’t surprising to him anymore.

He scrolled through your socials. Maybe there’d be something in there letting him know about your recent activities.

“Someone come over here and take care of me. I’m sick,” heeseung read the caption below a picture you had taken. It was of your lower body. You were lying down in bed with rolled-up tissue paper and a tv remote beside you.

He pouted slightly at the picture. No wonder you weren’t answering him. It was cause you didn’t feel well.

You had posted that picture a few hours ago, so hopefully, you’d still be awake once he arrived at your place.

He took a quick shower and changed into some comfortable clothing before grabbing his car keys and heading to the store to buy you some medicine.

He saw a cute vase of flowers that would look good at your bedside, but he decided to skip that cause your guys' relationship wasn’t like that.

To be honest, your guy’s relationship wasn’t one where he’d come over and take care of you when you were sick either, but over the weeks, he started to miss your presence, and for some reason, he just felt like he needed to see you it was confusing to him cause he never felt that way before he never felt like he missed you.

He went to the freezer aisle and grabbed some vanilla ice cream that always made his throat feel better when he was sick, so maybe it’d help you too. He grabbed some cough syrup the nighttime one, so you could sleep the cold away, and he also bought some pills for any types of aches or pains you might be having, and the last two items he bought were, of course, soup and lotion tissues cause the regular ones hurt.

He paid for everything and got back in his car, driving to your place. It wasn’t that far, but he went a little over the speed limit so he could get there faster with the medicine.

Once he made it there, he grabbed your bag of goodies and headed up to your apartment. He looked at the apartment number, and he remembered you were number one on the floor. He knocked softly and waited at the door patiently in case it took you a while to make it to the door. To his surprise, it flung open right away, and he stood there a bit stunned when he saw someone other than you answering your door.

“Hi!” Sunoo chirped.

“Hi?” Heeseung replied, confused, and looked at the number on the door, making sure that he had the right room, and sure enough, it was the right room but the wrong person. “My apologies. I think I have the wrong number.”

“Are you looking for someone in particular?” Sunoo smiled softly, hoping he could point the confused gentleman in the right direction.

“Umm.. y/n, I haven’t been here in a while. She must have moved. Sorry for disturbing you” heeseung was ready to take his leave, but Sunoo spoke up again.

“Moved? No, she’s still here, but she’s feeling unwell,” sunoo pouted.

“Well, could I see her?” Heeseung said, feeling a bit annoyed cause what the hell was this nerd doing alone with you at your apartment?

“Who exactly are you?” Sunoo eyed him suspiciously. It was kinda odd for this unknown man to be asking for you at this time of night.

“A friend we met a while ago,” sunoo hummed.

“How come she’s never told me about you” he squinted his eyes at the stranger.

“She’s never told me about you either,” heeseung glared at the shorter male in front of him.

“Name?”

“Heeseung,” he rolled his eyes.

Sunoo shut the door and went to your room. “There’s some guy says he’s friends with you, and his name is heeseung. Does that ring any bells?”

Your eyes widened in shock after hearing what sunoo had just said.

There’s no way you heard right. You had to be hallucinating.

“Y/n?” Sunoo called you, snapping you out of your daze, and that’s when you realized you weren’t hallucinating and that this was all too real.

“No, no, no!” You said, panicked. “Don’t let him in!”

Unfortunately, it was already too late heeseung had invited himself in and was standing in your doorframe, looking you dead in the eyes, and he didn’t seem all too happy to see you despite you being the main and only reason he was there in the first place. “I’m sorry, but you have to go” Sunoo tried to grab heeseung’s arm, but he didn’t budge.

“I-it’s fine, sunoo, we’ll only be a minute” sunoo gave you an are you sure look, and you nodded weakly. “What are you doing here?” You said coldly.

“Obviously, to see you,” he said just as coldly.

You scoffed as you folded your arms. “So obvious,” you rolled your eyes. The last time he came to your place to see you was at least five months ago.

He stood there and looked at you for a while, wondering where your attitude was coming from. You usually were excited when he came over. “Who is that?” He asked, referring to the guy that answered your door. “Is he your boyfriend?”

“None of your business, just what do you want?” You replied in annoyance.

He sighed. “I saw that you were sick, so I came over,” he stated as if this was something that he did regularly. He lifted up the bag in his hand, showing it to you.

“I didn’t ask you to,” you said without looking at him.

“Can I not come to see you for once?” He chuckled dryly.

It’s not that he couldn’t come to see you. You just didn’t understand why after you cut him out of your life, he was showing up to your apartment cause you were sick. What would he care? He never showed any ounce of care for you before.

“Well, I was coming to take care of you, but I see someone else already is” his tone was laced with annoyance as he poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue.

You were beyond upset with him right now. What right did he have to be annoyed that you had somebody that actually cared about you and was willing to take care of you?

“And? Heeseung, I don’t get it. I stopped answering your texts because I don’t want to see you anymore. You’re nothing but a selfish asshole, and just when I try to move on from you, you show up talking about taking care of me? What the fuck is wrong with you? You know that I fucking like you, and now you pull this shit. Are my feelings just a fucking game to you?” You said what you had been thinking for a while. You didn’t mean to lash out at him, but in your fit of disbelief and rage, you couldn’t help it.

“No!” He yelled. “But apparently, mine fucking are to you.”

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. “What are you even talking about?”

“I came over 'cause I fucking c- you know what, never mind seeing how I’m nothing but an asshole to you” he clenched his jaw and slammed the bag of groceries in your trash bin before slamming your bedroom door on his way out.

Sunoo was listening by the door the whole time, and he stumbled back when heeseung barged through and bumped him out of the way with his shoulder.

Heeseung walked out of your apartment, and he made sure to slam the front door as well.

“Y/n…” sunoo walked in to see you crying softly, and he immediately wrapped you up in his arms. “Are you okay?” You shook your head no and encircled his waist in a hug as you sobbed with your head resting on his chest. “I can beat him up if you want” sunoo smiled sadly as he stroked your head.

You shook your head again, and Sunoo took the hint that you didn’t want to talk about it right now.

Being the good friend that he is, he stayed with you until you eventually fell asleep, and you were so thankful that in a time like this, you had someone like him.

-

Heeseung left your apartment and went to the nearest convenience store to buy himself every type of alcohol known to man.

Once he got back in his car, he opened the first bottle of beer while he drove home, downing it in one go. One turned into many, and he was already on his sixth beer once he reached home.

He went straight to his bedroom and laid down. The beer wasn’t quite strong enough to dull the pain in his chest, so he opened a bottle of liquor, drinking it like it was water. He didn’t give a fuck about how he’d feel in the morning right now. He just wanted to forget. “You’re nothing but a selfish asshole,” he chuckled as he repeated the same exact words you said to him earlier.

Worst part is he knew it was true hell. You calling him an asshole was going easy. He was every bit of a fucking loser. He was a pathetic no, good excuse for a person that played around with your feelings just cause he could. He knew you were into him for more than just sex, and instead of reciprocating your feelings, he ignored them cause somehow it was amusing to have you running over to his aid whenever he wanted.

But after those first few days without you, reality hit him like a truck, and he realized just how much he took you for granted. He accepted that after all this time, he, too, had started to feel something for you, but he didn’t want to admit it because it was easier not to and he didn’t want to make things complicated.

But now it all made sense why he felt jealous when he found out you had a guy friend, why he was nervous whenever he texted you, and why he felt scared when you didn’t answer him.

It was because he was afraid of losing you. He couldn’t believe it only took a few days of not hearing from you to make him admit to himself that he was head over heels for you, but it did.

And when he was finally ready to face the fact that he missed you and not just sex, it was too late. You’d already given up on him and moved on.

But it was better this way. That sunoo guy looked nice. He protected you and took care of you when you were unwell, and that was more than heeseung ever even thought of doing for you in the time he’s known you for.

He knew you deserved better than him, and in his drunken stupor, he convinced himself that he was happy that you found better.

FIN

@heej43 if anyone wants to be tagged in future works just let me know.

Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate each and every one of you who made it to the end. - 🐹

[sykestarot]

messages meant to reach you

1-2-3 (left to right)

I DO NOT OWN THESE IMAGES

Hi guys! heres your weekly reading :) ! I hope you enjoy this and it resonates for you, also I found these pics and thought they were so cute lol ! Thanks for stopping by! <3

Pile 1

“does it ever make you sad to know that was 7 summers ago?” (The Lovers; 7 of wands; knight of cups (rx); knight of pentacles (rx); 9 of pentacles ; 6 of swords (rx))

Hi pile 1! Before I even started channeling, my cat was very interested in my tarot set up which usually he isn’t so maybe you have a kitty? Perhaps one that passed that misses you and wants you to know they are always with you. For you guys I feel a sense of heavy grief either in the recent past or the present. I also feel like you’ve been avoiding your own feelings about the whole situation. I feel a sense of disappointment from you that things didn’t work out the way you wanted. I feel like you either broke up with someone due to differences in worldviews or you might have had someone pass recently that you thought you had more time with. First of all if someone did pass recently, I am so sorry and I’m sending you so much love and light. But I do feel like this might've been a sudden thing, without warning, and you just want to continue on with life without processing just how traumatic it was for you. This person wants you to know that they love you so much and that when you're ready to unpack your grief and trauma they will be with you whether you realize it or not. Now if you had a break up recently I see this person really missing you. They dream about you and want you all to themselves again. I feel like they have pride though and won’t approach you again. I also feel like you’re genuinely done with this person though. Like this isn’t the first time you guys have had fights about this stuff and they really pushed you to your limit. This might’ve happened a while ago too and they’re just holding onto it and pulling on your energy. I really do feel like they’re wallowing in regret about how they treated you but like not enough to change. Like they regret it but they feel like they had to which is so fucked up in its own right. But I digress. I do think an energy cleanse would be best for you, however you choose to cleanse your energy and space will do. I also say get rid of any items they gifted/gave to you. I’m proud of you for knowing your worth and  letting bygones be bygones. Signs: nice house; highways; red rusty pickup truck; red in general; water; creeks; fireflies; old dock; tall can beers; sentimental views (?)

Pile 2

“i aint even got the miles to trip on you” (2 of pentacles (rx); THe Lovers (rx); 3 of pentacles (rx); Wheel of Fortune (rx); knight of pentacles; 9 of pentacles (rx)) Hi pile 2! So for you guys I actually had to restart your pile a few times it was hard for me to really connect and get a message for you guys but when I did I understood why. The message coming through is from someone you simply don’t want to hear from lol. It’s probably an old partner that’s begged and pleaded to be back in your life multiple times and you just don’t care, which is such a power move. But yea overall this person just throws a pity party for themselves and how they lost a good thing and it sucks to be them I guess. But I wanted to get a message for you from your guides at the very least so heres that! All in all your guides are very happy and proud of you!! You’ve really put in the work pile 2! I see you enjoying financial blessings and i feel like your heart and mind have found peace. Whether your with someone or not I see you ina state of stability that you never thought you’d get to. Maybe things feel a little monotonous for you but I do feel like you enjoy your life and where you’re at right now! I also feel like you guys are experiencing things you never thought you would, like an engagement or getting the promotion/job you always wanted! I keep hearing that you made life your bitch LOL!! I also see you guys paying no mind to wagging tongues and you let people think whatever they want about you because at the end of the day you just don’t care. You not only enjoy your job but you enjoy your hobby’s your house, your car, and so on and so forth. I see though that you guys should work on being proud of yourself because YOU did that! No one else did!! Go treat yourself to something nice and sit back and relax pile 2 you deserve it fr!! Signs: restart button; push to start car; nice handwriting; minecraft; jeans; interior design; iron; birch wood; big healthy plants; big windows; elevators; CAPRICORN 

Pile 3

"i'm in too deep and i'm trying to keep up above in my head instead of going under" (Judgment (rx); 6 of swords (rx); 4 of swords; 10 of swords; 2 of pentacles (rx); knight of swords (rx)) Hello Pile 3!! For you guys I see that you’re a really unique person and don’t really care about people's thoughts. I feel for your message though that you might be running in the wrong crowd or with the wrong people. I feel like you choose people based on whether or not they are in the same subgenre as you, or present the way you do. Which is understandable thinking if someone dresses the same they might have the same values but I see that the people in your life don’t. I also see that they just don’t care about you as much as you care about them. I believe that you know this somewhat or you have gut feelings about this, however I think you’re hoping one day they’ll pick you. I do see though that you know that they won’t and that you know you’re not meant to be there. I see that you just want to fit in with a group of people so badly, that you need validation that people like you. But honey, lots of people like you!! They just aren’t presenting the way you are. I see that for lack of better term “conventional” people admire your bold and unique expression of yourself. I see that you have prejudice towards these people and immediately put them in a box they you guys wouldn’t get along. Lemme tell you though as much as you advocate for not judging a book by it’s cover I feel you doing that to others. Maybe this is apart of your shadow that you need to work on. I get quite a youthful energy from you though, maybe you’re in highschool? You don’t have to change everything about your life tomorrow but you can make small steps. The only person who can make active change in your life is you! So get out there and do as much as you can without regrets! I promise you’ll enjoy the things that you didn’t think you would. Plus life is meant for mistakes and learning from them. Don’t let others perception of you ruin your experience on this earth! You got this pile 3, you’re a beautiful soul, let others see it. Signs: 111 ; wizard of oz; cheshire cat; leather; vests; studs; piercings; boots; alt fashion; old sedan; empty parking lots; cigarettes; nose rings; bleached hair

[twsted-kinks]

Djsjdjjd the monster fuckers are hungry 👀 👀 👀Love to see so many people like the ideas and git some if there own! Gonna number each of these and give me thoughts for each one.

I can't believe I didn't think about Rollo but yes definitely a human trying to "save" Yuu from monsters. Your ask got me thinking and now my priest kink came to mind cause just imagine Rollo is the priest for a church in a small village with Yuu being maybe like the black sheep of the village. Rollo wants to "save" because Yuu 1) is a witch (with Grim as their familiar) or potion maker 2) they often go to the neighboring village filled with monsters 3) if Rollo saves them then Yuu would be indebted and would have to marry him 👀. I'm just imaging him is a cassock and it's making me feel things. I could do the classic seducing a priest during confessional fic but there's a lot of depends. I really love the idea of Yuu taking Rollo's virginity but an idea I love more is Yuu and Malleus both fucking Rollo like a Rollo sandwich of him fucking Yuu and Malleus fuckijg both Yuu and Rollo because double decker dick.

I love slimes for all the sexual shenanigans you can do with them that I think work well for Cater. As a slime, he can make copies of himself like his unique magic so multiple Cater's to fuck. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Cater, as a slime, can squeeze into a lot of places fully or leave small parts of himself behind. For the voyeur side, he can leave a little bit of his slime in your home that watches you undress, bathe, pleasure yourself, or pleasure others even. He could also make himself a pseudo ovipositior and leave little eggs, which are just a part of him, inside you. He has complete control of the little slimes so his "eggs" can move around while inside you. You could also be inside of him. Like his body can almost act like a blanket or restraint that was around you as he fills your holes. He can also kinda shape-shift and have whatever and any number of parts he wants. What I'm debating about Cater is if he's translucent or not or both. I'm probably gonna go with him being a translucent pink color naturally but can change colors and opacity so he can turn into other people at least look wise.

I love Riddle centaur! Show horse having to be all proper and formal but he turns to mush around Yuu. One if my favorite centaur tropes I think works very well for Riddle, has a boner but can't reach. Whenever he gets horny he can't do anything about it! He's never been able to touch himself :( I don't have an order of who Yuu will fuck but I do know for Riddle that his first time with Yuu is gonna be because they take pity of the poor centaur, cock dripping and balls heavy with no release.

Bunny Deuce I think is so cute and works so well for him, and, yes, he fucks like a rabbit. He totally hooks his arms around your torso and apologizes as he ruts into you. He's sorry he can't stop you just feel too good! Or maybe he's ridding you reverse cowgirl and you see his little tail wiggling as he cums 🤤. The thing I'm not sure about with Deuce or with a number of the monster au guys is if I want to go the hybrid route (basically human with animal ears and limbs) or or full fantasy furry kinda deal (kinda like a classic minotaur but different animal heads and other traits)

[imagine-that-100]

Will We Talk? | Part 3 |

Description of Part 1: Alex Turner x Reader | Being Katie Cook’s best friend means you see a lot of a certain band, so it’s too bad that the lead singer can’t seem to stand being in your presence. You’re all too aware that you get chatty when you’re anxious, and despite being around each other for a decade, Alex still makes your heart race (and not in a good way). But then he asks a question you never expected to hear, and it changes everything: “Do I make you nervous?”

Word Count: 17.4k

Warnings: Smut 

A/N: Well... It's been a minute. I can only apologise for how long this part has taken me to write but believe me this will be worth the wait because holy shit. Again a big thank you to @alovesreading and @kennedy-brooke for helping and listening to me complain about me having to write this chapter as I was getting more and more stuck (prepare yourself for me being the exact same with part 4&5 tho). Also a big thank you to @lottiecrabie for beta reading this and lottifying it for me, you're a genius. Thank you to everyone who has waited for this one, I wont keep you any longer, go enjoy it. Thanks a million for reading x

| My Masterlist | 

| Part 1 | Part 2 |

Waking up beside Alex brought everything back to you and it hits you in the same way your hangover does your stomach. Sickeningly. 

Repercussions of what it all could mean give you a worse headache than you already have. Your body aches more than it has in a very long while. It’s easy for you to tell that it's not just the lingering alcohol making your muscles seize, it’s all the cardio Alex was putting the both of you through a matter of hours ago. 

So after lying in complete discomfort for 10 minutes, only focusing on the way your stomach is flipping and the steady breathing of the man on the other side of the bed, you get up. You head to the bathroom and you immediately go for a drink of water from the tap, followed quickly by using some toothpaste and some mouthwash to try and freshen yourself up. 

After using his toilet, you don’t even feel any remorse about turning on his shower. Once it’s a decent temperature, you walk in. You can’t even deny that this might be the nicest shower of your life. You fully let the hot water relax your muscles and you don’t think twice about using Alex’s stuff. 

You’re surprised the man actually has both shampoo and conditioner instead of a 2 in 1. After all, his hair is only just growing back and it’s still shorter than what it was back when they first got famous. You’re grateful regardless because it's good quality and it smells amazing, hints of eucalyptus with a smokey wood scent. 

Taking your time washing your sore body down with his shower gel, you gently start to hum along to a tune that’s managed to stick in your head, and you’re glad the shower seems to rid you of your hangover symptoms. 

You end up in your own little world, reminiscing about last night's activities as you wash your body. Every brush of your fingers, you can feel Alex’s touch. If you close your eyes you can picture it all over again and the ghost of the feelings he stirred up in you. 

It’s like tingles are running through your bones. Just the memory alone throws you back into the moment, like you can feel him on you, inside you, his skin against yours, his lips on y- 

“How are you feeling?” Alex’s voice startles you. 

He walked in a few minutes ago after waking up needing to go to the toilet and he couldn’t hold it despite hearing the stream of the shower. He didn’t want to invade your privacy, but he knew the frosted glass that split the room would shield your body from him if you didn’t want him to see it. It would be silly after last night anyway. The image of you is seared into his retinas. 

So after using the toilet and brushing his teeth, he turned to see that you still hadn’t noticed his presence. He can only glimpse at a blur of a figure behind the steamed glass, the temperature in the room getting increasingly hotter as the moments pass. He can’t help but want to see you again, which is why he decides to open his mouth. 

You quickly whip yourself around and see him standing just near the end of the glass pane that divides the shower from the rest of the room. Alex’s gaze is on your face, staying respectful and not lingering down, even though he’d seen you a matter of hours ago. 

Him startling you when you least expected has your heart racing, not to mention his actual presence. The fact he is still very naked in front of you makes your blood pound in your chest faster. Flashes of last night come back to you and it’s like you can feel him touching you again. Feel him kiss your skin again. Feel him insid-

Not the time Y/N. He asked you a question. Oh shit yeah.

“A little better after a shower, thanks.” You say once the shock of his presence dwindles a little. Unsurprisingly, you start to panic ramble, “Sorry for not asking, I should have- but I- I just didn’t want to wake you up.”

“It’s fine Y/N/N,” Alex brushes your apology off, and after a beat he asks, “Mind if I jump in?”

Trying not to let the anxiety show on your face as it creeps up your spine, you just nod and shrug, “Your shower.”

You were just about done anyway. 

You enjoy the hot water for a second more before you mentally prepare to leave the warmth. Once you say a silent goodbye to the glorious shower, you turn and see Alex has just stepped in, heading for the water. You go to move past him, and trail off, “I’ll just let you…” 

“You don’t have to leave.” Alex says as he catches your wrist, his thumb caressing your skin. 

Your eyes go wide and you can feel yourself about to stutter as you start, “But I-”

Alex interrupts, “Stay.” He doesn’t want to give you time to overthink but he also won’t push you. Though he appears pleased when you gently nod. You let him guide you back to the water. 

Although you’ve agreed, he can see there's still hesitance there and a hint of awkwardness that he wants gone quickly. In the best way he can, he addresses it directly and with a soft smile on his lips. “You know we fucked last night, right?” He holds his grin when he sees your eyes go wide, clearly not expecting him to say that. 

But going through your head is, No shit! What a stupid fucking question! How the fuck could anyone forget a night like that?! Forget someone fucking you like that… What a fucking idiot to even ask.

As it turns out, your thoughts are a little hasty, because Alex’s gentle tone continues as he lathers himself up in shower gel, saying, “You don’t need to feel awkward. I’ve already seen you.” 

Before you even know it your worries spill from your lips, “When we were drunk and we lost all inhibitions and I don’t know if you were blackout drunk or not, I don’t know if-” 

“I still remember.” Alex interrupts you, looking into your eyes and he takes your hand again and moves you back under the shower with him. 

While that in itself makes you feel a little easier, the fact that you don’t know where to look makes your mind spin. It feels uncouth to look down, especially considering you haven’t seen him look down either. But like he just said, you saw each other last night and it shouldn’t be awkward.

Christ, you weren’t built for the stresses of one night stands. Or friends (if you can even call him that) with benefits, or whatever the fuck this is. 

“You’re still gorgeous,” Alex assures you, “Please don’t overthink, just stay.” 

You gently nod again, trying to just not think about the fact that you're standing naked beside a man you barely know. Instead you close your eyes and enjoy the water again, blocking out the man washing his body beside you and you let your body relax as you tilt your head up towards the huge shower head and let it rain over you. 

Having a shower was always relaxing for you, a brief escape from the hectic days you tend to have and if shit goes wrong, a shower can most of the time fix the mood the day has put you in. It’s your safe space to decompress: you just let yourself calm down again, and enjoy the way the hot water makes you relax. 

Alex doesn’t notice what you’re doing straight away, not until he turns to start washing his hair and he sees you standing beside him looking all stoic. Suddenly, he can’t take his eyes off you. 

You look so at peace, as if all your worries and overthinking had been washed away by the water you’re both standing under. You look gorgeous with the way the various lights in the room are hitting your skin, almost making you glow in the warm lighting. 

It’s almost like he's watching in slow motion, how he watches the water trickle down your pretty features. Bouncing from your eyelashes and running down your cheeks until it reaches your lips that still look plump from your activities last night. Alex feels the urge to kiss you again, but he manages to resist. He’s only just got you calm, the last thing he wants it to unnerve you. 

Little does Alex know that he already sort of is. Not through any fault of his own as you can’t expect to be in the shower with someone and for them to pay no attention to you, but you can feel his eyes on you. Not in a creepy way in the slightest, but you can feel his gaze and the awkwardness is threatening to bubble back up your spine. 

Trying your best to suppress it, you take another few deep breaths and roll your head and your shoulders a few times to encourage your muscles to loosen up again. You really hate not knowing where you stand with him, but suddenly your mouth that likes to nervously chat away can’t even open. The last thing you want to do now is annoy him and for him to tell you to leave and it makes things messier than they are already bound to be with Katie and Jamie.

Oh lord, how the fuck am I meant to tell Katie? She’s going to disown me. Jamie will never be able to look at me again. I’ll never be Forrest’s favourite auntie again when I inevitably can’t see him anymore. I- No, stop over thinking. Stop. It.

Alex can practically see you cogs spinning in your head again so he gently encourages you to get out of your head and hopes you start chatting to him again. He’s never been in your presence and you’ve been so silent. The last thing he wants is for you to overthink something as simple as a shower.

“Are you still feeling okay?” The singer can’t help but ask as softly as he can so he doesn’t make you jump by interrupting your quiet moment. 

“I-” You clear your throat, “Yeah, I’m okay thank you.”

“Sure?” Alex questions, wanting to keep your brain as clear as possible,

You nod, smiling a little at the endearing way he double checked. Who is this man and what has he done with the Alex Turner you’ve been used to for the past decade?

“How are you feeling?” You ask, wanting to reciprocate the manners he’s showing you. 

“Good thanks,” He nods and smiles at you, “Little headache but we both drank a lot so it makes sense.” You try not to watch the way the water runs down his neck and his chest as he talks to you, “Was good in that club though. I enjoyed it.” 

“Yeah it was good.” You agree, trying to keep your eyes on his but failing every now and again, “No one bothered you either so I guess that was a little better for you too. Makes a night easier I suppose... Did you have a fun night with Jamie?” 

“I had more fun with you.” Alex smirks a little, not missing the way your eyes have begun to wonder slightly. He’s still sincere when he asks, “Did you have fun?” 

You know that he’s not talking about your night out anymore, he’s talking about your night with him and you’d be a liar if you didn’t answer, “Yeah.” You flush, asking him shyly, “Did you?” 

“Most definitely.” Alex hums. His focus is solely on you now. He takes a step closer to you, as even he can feel the tension from last night stir back up between you. He watches your reactions closely and when he sees his proximity doesn’t alarm you, he lowers his voice a little to ask one more question, his finger coming to trace your jaw as he does, “Do you regret it?”

You shake your head, keeping your eyes on his. You’re not letting your nerves get the better of you. “No.”

“Good.” Alex smiles and his hand moves from tracing your jaw to your neck where he cups it again. Before you can really comprehend it, his lips dip down and take yours in a kiss. 

It’s not a simple kiss. There’s heavy meaning behind it, spinning in the back of your dizzy head, seeping through your panting breaths, gripping his rough hand as it caresses your cheek, flexed and clenched like he’s holding back doing more.

It’s a losing battle. As soon as a moan spills from your hot mouth, Alex grips your waist and pulls you flush against him. Your chests rise and fall in sync, and there’s something even more meaningful knocking at the back of your head. It feels dangerous, like another border you’re crossing without even looking back. At least you know now it wasn’t just the amarettos on rocks making his kisses feel like your stomach might flip. 

You reach up, one hand finding his nape, the other digging into his wet hair. There’s a sense of you trapping him, wrapping him in a deadly trap he, thankfully Alex, doesn’t seem to want to even try escaping. Instead, he moves the both of you back under the stream of water so you don’t get cold, as though that was possible with your temperature rising with every artful swipe of his tongue. His hand practically burns at your waist, strong and present and callused, and soon you’ll need an ice bath just to recover from him. 

Alex steals every breath from your mouth and you give them to him without a second thought. It’s pathetically quickly that you can feel yourself getting wet, and not just from the stream of water pouring on you. It’s everything. His mouth, his tongue, his hands; from the way he’s touching you now to the way you can still remember him fucking you yesterday, like a permanent branding iron on your body that burns, burns, burns. Your heart races in your chest. You’ve never felt more alive.

Alex snakes a hand around your back, firmly holding you against him like you’re his prized possession, like he fears losing you down the showerdrain if he doesn’t trap you in his arms. He gets needy whimpers out of you, muffled by his eager tongue. You pull away when his hand falls to your arse and squeezes tightly, moaning into the hot, heavy air, into his open mouth that’s fucking smirking. 

Cocky, he runs his gentle hand down your cheek, butterfly kisses across your jaw, to settle on your neck. His dark eyes dig into yours as he squeezes, ready to catch every microreaction. You release a pretty soft sound for him, whining. His hand’s heavy and meaningful around your throat, hanging from it like he owns you. 

It only makes you more desperate for him. Needing to get your claws into something, you pull harshly on his wet hair. He groans, mouth hanging open in pleasure, and you use that to your full advantage to catch his mouth again.

Alex is hard against you; the knowledge that it’s you causing this reaction in him boosts your confidence tenfold. Enough to make you want to drop to your knees for him here and now. You’re pretty certain the singer wouldn’t mind.

The idea transforms into a need, soaking your thighs further. Eager, you let your hand run down his wet chest, sweet and worshipping, making him shiver against you. You drop it to his cock, just two light fingers touching his length, teasing him. He pulls away from your lips, moaning. His face looks down to the beginning show in wonder. You smirk. No, he wouldn’t mind at all. Slowly, you wrap around him. “Fuck,” he mutters. 

The noises you pull from him have you pressing your thighs together. Noises that you wish you could record and play on loop when he’s not there to help you; pretty, pornographic moans that vibrate against your cheek. You fall into his neck to kiss and nip and lick at, letting his sounds bloom into your ear. His hips jump into your fist, making you that more determined to continue stroking him, wanting and needing him to unravel, to be entirely at your mercy. 

But you know your mouth is ten times better than your hand, so you climb back up to his lips, leaving a quick, hot kiss, then biting his lower one. You tug and release, smirking at his hitched breath. There's a moment then where you both look at each other, lust the only thing in either of your eyes, and it’s as though the steaming water runs cold compared to the heat between your greedy bodies. 

There's a fraction of a second where everything changes. Time slows for it to happen. Still, your brain can’t keep up. Just as your eyes fall and you back away to allow your knees to sink and hit the tiles below, Alex grabs you by your hair with both hands, bringing you back up and pulling you into another kiss. 

It’s hard and hungry, and it takes you enough by surprise that you stumble back, unsteady on your feet. Alex follows, greedily allowing himself an extra second of the torrid kiss before he spins you around and pushes you up against the glass. The bitter coldness of the glass against your scorching skin makes you gasp, a rush of pleasure spreading down your spine. You can feel Alex’s smirk as he presses himself against your back. 

His arm snakes around your waist as his lips find home where your shoulder meets the base of your neck. Your thin necklace does nothing to stop his mouth attacking the skin there, biting, then soothing it away with his tongue. His fingers trail down between your thighs. With a moan, your head falls to the glass, cool against your skin. You throb for him.

His fingers brush your clit, making you gasp and whine for him before he dips his fingers down further to feel just how wet he’s made you. He can’t help but smirk against your ear, as if he’s not already almost completely hard against your arse. Gathering a pool of your arousal, he finds your bundle of nerves again, gently rubbing it. 

Slow teases on your clit make your head fall back on his shoulder and you can’t help but moan. You clutch his wrist with one hand in a silent beg not to stop. Sweet whines of pleasure escape your lips, filling the hot room with more than just the stream from the shower.

Without fully realising, Alex finds himself rocking his aching cock against you, causing your body to shift. Dragging your nipples across the cold glass heightens your senses more than ever. You’ve never dealt with such different intensities of temperature before, never known such staggering opposites could make your body melt and drip with euphoria. 

“This what you want, sweet?” You can feel Alex’s hot breath against your ear, “Want me to make you feel good again?”

Your moans are answer enough for him, but it delights him how he has you begging, “Please.” 

“Good girl.” He smirks, nipping the skin just behind your ear before he adds more pressure to your clit. 

Your hand blindly reaches to grasp something, but the cool glass beneath your palms doesn’t help at all. It slides off the glass, entirely unable to catch any resistance with the way the scolding water is still raining down on the both of you. 

Alex could get used to this. The way you’re filling up his bathroom with those pretty sounds that keep falling from your lips, making it very obvious that you’re enjoying everything he’s doing to you. He fucking loves how vocal you are, he loves the fact that you can’t keep those swollen lips of yours shut for him, and he revels in the fact he’s the one bringing you so much pleasure.

“Alex,” You whine out after a minute of him concentrating on your swollen clit, circling and circling until your legs shake under you.

He kisses his way up your neck as he huskily asks, “Yeah?” He focuses back on the makings of a bruise he left there in the early hours of the morning, proud and possessive at the sight of it.

“More.” You just about get out.  

You can’t really think of what else other than more. You need more. 

The way you can feel just how hard he is against your arse and how his hips keep grinding into your own is making you clench around nothing, begging and pleading to be filled. It feels criminal to be this empty at this point. You’re aching to be fucked by him again. 

“You’re greedy, sweet,” he tsks as he kisses his way down your neck. You push your hips against his, rolling them, hoping for something. He’s unflappable, pressing you back up against the glass as he asks, “Can’t be happy with what I'm giving you? You want more?” You nod furiously, mind too hazy to hear the danger in his tone. “Little pet thinks she knows better than me?” 

“Please,” You whine, high-pitched and breathy.  

It seems you’ve fallen right into his trap. Alex bites down on your shoulder, pain and pleasure blooming inside of you. The dominance, the power, the possessiveness has you clenching around nothing again. With the way your lower stomach knots and tightens and coils, you know your orgasm is building steadily. You just need more. 

You bite your lip raw trying to hold back cries, but he tuts in your ear, dragging it out of your teeth. “None of that, sweet. I want to hear you.” As though to give you motivation, he pinches your clit meanly. 

“Oh fuck, Alex!” You gasp. He smiles against your cheek, rewards you with tight circles on your bud again. He has you mindlessly begging now, “Please, please. Alex.”

“What is it you need, then?” Your mouth hangs open, incapable of forming thoughts and sentences when euphoria drowns you like this. Alex helpfully provides, “You need my fingers, is that it?” His hot breath sends goosebumps over your skin. He knows you like the way he teases you in these situations after last night's dalliance. He hums against your ear, “Whining and panting like a brat, I wonder if they’ll shut you up?”

Without another second of torment, the singer drops his hand until he can dip two fingers inside you. With how slick he’s made you, they slip in easily, stretching and filling you up. You cry out a, “Yes!” You’re shaking between his arms, so close and ready you might burst into tears if he doesn’t give you what you need. 

When they finally sink fully inside, you have to abandon your useless attempts to hold the glass in front of you. Instead, you reach back and root your fingers into Alex’s hair. 

You wish it was longer again so you had more to pull on, but your hold on him is enough to ground you to the moment, to him. Finally, he thrusts in and out of you, quick and deep like you need it. It’s shocking to feel how much he knows you, has memorised that dark night to the very last detail. And here you thought he wouldn’t even remember. 

He curls his fingers and electricity zaps through you. He easily finds the sweet spot inside you and hits it with every slide, sopping sounds filling the room as he stretches you open. You’re trembling, gripping his hair so tight you might unroot them. Your brain is too gone to worry about hurting him, drunk on the taste of him and pleasure.

“This what you wanted?” Alex asks, and all he’s met with is incoherent whines from you and a slack, furious nod. There’s an edge to his voice when he breathes,“Well, then. Aren’t you gonna say thank you?” 

“Thank you, Alex,” You immediately scream, too scared he’ll pull his fingers away, too addicted to bother arguing. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou.”

“What a good fucking girl, sweet.” You preen under his words. His hand caresses your hair, cooing, “So obedient, so fucking pretty.” He seems to itch to reward you for it when he asks, “Think you can take more?” Of course, you nod, wanting to be good for him and knowing you can handle whatever he has in mind for you. 

You don’t think you’ve ever released such a loud moan like the one that falls from your lips when he slips another finger. You’re stretched out, so full with three of his fingers inside of you. He’s fucking you open, determined and ruthless, pumping out all the sweet, fucked-out moans from you. Your cunt throbs around him, pleasure swooping low in your belly. God, you hope he never stops. This is everything you want and more. With every swipe of his digits, you feel yourself grow closer and closer 

“Taking it so well, sweet,” He breathes, choked from his own want. You grin at him, proud. “Doing so good for me, letting me fuck you like this. My favourite, little slut.” You clench around him at the name. He smirks, biting your cheek as he promises, “I got you.” 

You know he does, can feel it in the way he curls and fucks, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. Your lungs feel aflame, burning up in your chest. Your mind is languid from the ecstasy, melting and swirling in your skull. You can’t remember your own name, only his. 

“Are you close?” Alex teases, because he doesn’t need a response to know. “Christ, you’re practically squeezing my fingers to death.” You moan, your head falling on his shoulder, your hand holding him the tightest you ever have. 

Though he’s a little shit about it, Alex makes sure he does everything he can to give you your mindblowing orgasm. He cups your cunt, his palm hitting your clit. You have no shame, rutting against it, chasing that fatal end like it was your one true purpose.  

“Gonna cum for me like a good girl?” He breathes, looking down at the way your glistening body is reacting to him, chest rising and falling rapidly. He moves a hand to your tits, playing with the peaked nipples. Every sensation sends you a hit of true euphoria until you can’t tell where your body burns. 

He pinches your nipple and you whine pathetically. You’re so drunk on pleasure, you feel delirious, barely even able to get your words out. “Please, Al,” is all you seem to know.

“Yeah?” You can feel his smile against your neck. “Good. Cum on my fingers then, sweet. Show me what a whore you really are.” And when he bites your neck again, sheer desire just to make you feel him everywhere, you lose yourself. 

“Alex,” You cry out, and all of a sudden the pleasure is blinding, “Oh, fuck!” 

Your orgasm scorches your body in an overwhelming wave that buzzes to your bones. The singer works you through it, sickly sweet whispers of praise in your ear that intensify your pleasure tenfold. Alex has to practically stop himself from cumming as he feels you clenching around his fingers, along with the sharp tug on his hair as you clutch him tighter.

“That's it,” he whispers as you come back down from your staggering high. Before he slips his fingers out of you, he praises, “Good girl. Did so well for me, sweet. My best girl.”

Finally, he slides three soaked fingers out of you. The sudden feeling of emptiness has you feeling needy, and the haze of your orgasm lingering makes you dazed and unsteady on your feet. Thankfully, Alex has you tight in his grasp and he maintains that as you slowly turn towards him. 

You can’t even be angry at the shit eating grin on his face, you feel too cockdrunk to even care. He can let it feed his ego all he likes, in this moment you would do absolutely anything for him. 

So much so that you pull him in for a messy kiss, clashing teeth and swiping tongue. You’re still trembling slightly, from the orgasm and the intensity and the fact that it’s him. You press your body against his, feeling his hard cock against your belly. You moan. You need to rectify that right now. You pull away with the intent to drop to your knees again, but Alex’s hands holding your jaw clench, keeping you in place again, knowing exactly what you were planning.

Instead he shakes his head, “No.” 

You don’t understand why he won’t let you, especially when you want to make him feel good. So you demand the only other thing that you can think of. “Take me to bed.” 

But, again, Alex shakes his head. “We don't have to.”

He searches your eyes for some give, not wanting to make you do anything. He doesn’t care about his own release; he’s going to cum fast anyway with the show you just put on for him. He doesn’t need you to do anything for him, he just wanted to watch you unwind at his touch again.

“I don't believe I was asking,” You persist, looking at him sternly enough that you hope he doesn’t turn you down again. 

You want to make him feel good. You want him to cum as hard as you just have and you want to be the reason for it, the cause of his pleasure. You want it to be your doing. 

Thankfully whatever was stopping Alex from letting you sink to your knees for him, he seems to get over. “You want me buried deep inside you, sweet?” He coos, holding you impossibly close, looking at you like he can peer into your soul and pull out the most sinful parts of you, “Wanna cum again? Around my cock this time?”

It’s like there’s nothing else processing in your head other than the promise of him being inside you again. And, Christ, you do wanna cum around his cock, practically a need. Still, you whine, admitting, “Wanna make you feel good, too.”

Alex believes you. You’re holding him so tightly and looking at him with those big eyes that are practically begging to let you do something for him. He smiles, rubbing the stress behind your jaw. “Okay, sweet. Whatever you want.”

Alex turns the stream of water off and pulls you from the shower by grabbing your hand to keep you close. Before you leave the bathroom, he plucks you from the ground and into his arms. You squeak, but he mutes that with a kiss.

When he gets the both of you back into his bedroom, the cool air is a striking contrast to the heat that radiates from both of your bodies thanks to the steaming shower. Somehow, it adds to everything, heightens every sense and every touch Alex stimulates you with. 

Before you get used to Alex’s kisses or being in his arms, you’re thrown down on his bed, bouncing on the mattress. It should be embarrassing how much that turns you on, the sheer strength he threw you with, but you can’t bring yourself to care when you open your eyes to see him standing at the foot of the bed, looking at you like he wants to devour you. 

You lay across the bed for him, wet and pretty and ready, and his mouth waters. He knocks your knees apart to catch another glimpse of your glistening cunt. The cool air hitting you makes you gasp, but it’s music to Alex’s ears. All he wants is to lick and suck your swollen clit again, to dip his tongue back inside you, and have you mewling beneath him as he fucks you with it. 

But, of course, he likes to make a show of it. He can’t give you everything you desire at the drop of a hat. He likes to edge the both of you in that way. Instead, Alex takes his time to crawl up the bed between your thighs, getting acquainted and bruising the soft skin at the top of your legs. 

He can’t get enough of hearing you whining and moaning and the way you keep lifting your hips in search of relief faster. He just grasps them tightly and forces them back down on his mattress. Alex, not being strong enough to abstain from another taste of you, licks a bold stripe up from your entrance to your clit, eliciting a guttural moan from you as your hand flies to his wet hair. You tug on it, putty in his hands, as he starts devouring your already sensitive cunt. 

He’s licking and fucking into you, chin wet with your juices, you get a grip of his hair and tug him off you, desperately crying, “Too much.” You’re far too over sensitive after what happened in the shower. Another minute of him doing that and you would be cumming on his tongue again.

“Yeah?” He pouts at you, though you doubt there’s any real empathy in him. He’s far too pleased. “Can’t handle me eating you? Already too fucking fucked-out to survive it?” You nod, like you can’t hear the condescending tone in his voice. “What if I want a taste? You wouldn’t deny me that, would you?” 

Your lungs are burning. You might melt into his sheets if he doesn’t do something now. “Please, Alex.” 

“What is it, sweet? Use your words.” He pinches your thigh, making you look down at him. 

The visual of him between your thighs all wet from the shower and now with your slick on his lips and chin has you clenching around nothing. You beg him, “Need you.” and that makes the singer smirk as he starts crawling up your body, but not before leaving one last kiss on your clit. 

Those sinful lips of his trail kisses up your stomach and he makes sure to pay close attention to your breasts as he asks you, “Need me to fuck you dumb?” 

You swear you almost choke on your own tongue when he kisses up from your tits to your neck and you hear him say, “Have the only thing you can think about is how I fill you up? How good I fuck you? Make sure you can’t remember anything but my name?”

Murmurs of pleases come from you then, but for all you know you could be entirely incoherent as you just revel in the way Alex’s body presses against yours. Still, you must make somewhat sense, because he lines himself up and finally, finally, fills you with his cock again. 

“Fucking hell, sweet,” Alex can’t help but groan as he bottoms out, “Oh, shit.”

It takes everything in him not to cum there and then. But he won’t, he can’t, he has to make you cum first. With the way you look so cockdrunk beneath him, he doesn’t think that your release is too far away either.

Alex fucks you slow and hard first, making you feel every thrust of his cock as it buries inside of you over and over. Every drag of your nipples across his chest as he fucks into you. Every suck and nip and kiss on your neck, which he’s already abused more in the last 12 hours than your ex-husband ever did. Every single sensation is a perfect cocktail for a brain-wiping orgasm. You feel pleasure threatening the edges of you already.

He grunts each time he fucks into you, but it’s nothing compared to how loud you’re being for him. You’ve given up on holding back all the moans and screams, letting them fall down your chin and into his ears. He drinks them greedily, revelling in every way his name can come out of your mouth. 

His head flips to the other side, hand wrapping around your neck to tilt it and give him better access. While he kisses and licks at your collarbone, his fingers press into your throat. You gasp, a rush of pleasure striking through your body. Your body tingles, mouth hanging open. 

“You’re so fucking dirty for me,” he whipsers in your neck, then releases it. Oxygen rushes through you and adrenaline runs through your veins, doubling the ecstasy swimming through you. Your head feels hazy. 

Your skin is on fire. Both of your bodies are damp with a mix of the water from the shower and the new shine of sweat, but the contrast with the cool air and the way your chests are pressed together makes everything more intense. 

Your legs lock around his waist and your heels press into his lower back, needing him as close as possible. The feeling of him so deep inside you is everything you needed. You feel so full, so satisfied. You just need the split, the snap, the break.

“Alex!” He can’t help but fuck you faster, hitting your spot with every thrust. You can’t get used to the furious pace, digging your nails into his shoulders and scratching out your boiling pleasure. 

When you moan his name again, he can’t stop himself from teasing you, “So loud, sweet. Think I need to gag you, can’t stop that mouth of yours running.” You clench around him and he looks up at you gleefully. “Oh, you’d like that? Like being gagged and bound for me? Can’t move or talk as I get you off over, and over, and over, until you’re too dumb to even think?” Your cunt throbs and he laughs, so fucking pleased. “What a perfect, little slut.” 

With the way you scratch at his back, and pull his hair that your fingers are routed into, he assumes you enjoy his foul talking. “Just for me, right?” He fucks you harder and faster, punctuating his words and gripping your throat tighter as he grunts, “So loud, and All. For. Me.” 

Just like that, he has you cumming around him again. 

It's almost difficult for Alex to continue ploughing his hips into your own with how tight your cunt is gripping him, throbbing and clenching in waves that you don’t even notice because a white heat has taken over your body. 

You feel like you’re vibrating with the way the knot in your lower stomach snapped and you feel the wave of bliss tingle through your blood. It’s ecstasy at its finest, lighting you up and making you feel all gooey and dizzy and happy. 

Alex wishes he could continue fucking you, wanting desperately to fill you up with his cum, you haven’t discussed anything like that yet, and he didn’t put a condom on. It’s with massive reluctance that he pulls out of you and gets to his knees. He fucks his fist, arm flexed and strong, ready to cum on your stomach.

But again, you surprise the singer. Despite still being dazed, you push yourself up and before he can make himself finish, you stop him, grabbing his wrist to get his attention. When his eyes lock with yours, you tell him, teasing and filthy, “In my mouth.”

With a grunt, he scoops up to your chest, kneeling above you, hard cock over your head. You raise your head up to wrap your lips around him, smirking. Your mouth is warm and wet, enough to make him see stars. He knows there's no chance he will last. You suckle on his tip, before clutching the back of his thighs harder, pulling him closer and further into your mouth. 

You hollow your cheeks and make it messy for him, all spit and tongue and just focusing on him. But it lasts no more than twenty seconds because as soon as you take him down your throat maybe a grand total of five times, Alex shoots hot cum into your mouth and groans above you as he clenches a fistful of your hair. 

You swallow around him, making Alex choke out a gasp which has you smirking. Pulling off him, you make a show of it, head falling back into the sheets as you let him see what’s left of him in your mouth, before you swallow again. 

Alex's fingers are still rooted in your wet hair, and you look so pretty gazing up at him through your eyelashes, still all drunk on everything he’s given you. Christ, he would give you everything he has and more if he could have you like this all the time. 

“You’re filthy,” Alex grins down, entirely dazed and intoxicated with pleasure. “Where the fuck have you been, sweet?” 

~*~*~*~ One Day Later ~*~*~*~

“I’ll call you later today.” 

Famous last words. 

Because he has in fact not called you. 

Something which has made you question everything ever since he dropped you off about an hour after he came in your mouth on Sunday morning. The rest of Sunday was spent recovering, and today at work you’d been stressed, getting in your head about all the love bites that you had to hide, worrying over the fact you’ve yet to tell your best friend you’ve fucked one of her friends. 

Frankly, the consequences of your decision to go home with Alex were making you feel sick, worsened by the fact he has yet to call you. That’s why as soon as you finished work, you texted Katie asking if she was down for a wine night. Thankfully, she replied agreeing with a smiley face and wine emojis. 

That is how you’ve found yourself sitting in Katie’s lounge, chatting away to her, slowly putting off the inevitable.

You’ve already been here two hours. It’s 8pm and you’ve had more than enough wine to make your lips a little loose. You decide now is the time.

You take a deep breath before you commit to telling her. “Katie.” She hums in response as she takes a sip of her wine, focused on the label of the red bottle.

Here goes nothing.

“You’re going to hate me.” You let it sit in the air for a second. It falls heavily from your chest.

“I certainly doubt that.” She chuckles, but discards the bottle still, looking at you. She raises her eyebrows, prompting you to continue. “What’s up?”

Taking a deep breath, you ask, “You know the other night we went out?” 

“Yeah?” She nods, smiling at the memory of the fun night the both of you had. 

“I…” You elongate the word slightly before finally saying it out loud, “Had sex...” 

“Oh yeah?” Katie smirks, before leaning over to clink her glass of wine with yours, “So did I, check us out.” Clearly she remembers nothing about how you got home because she asks, “Who was your lucky fella?”

“Alex.” You drop the bomb before pressing your lips together.

“Stop.” Katie’s eyes go wide, letting her glass clink and swoosh on the table as she sits up. She leans closer to you and looks into your eyes, asking, “Are you fucking messing with me?”

Shaking your head, you moan, “I wish I was.” You feel your cheeks go hot when you pull down on your hoodie to reveal one of the huge bruises the singer left on you, “This cheap mark would not be here right now if I was messing about.” 

Katie’s jaw drops at the sight. The mark on your neck is so much darker than the rest of your skin tone, and if you didn’t have your hoodie on there was no way anyone would miss it. It’s fucking huge.

You think you’ve fucked your friendship as soon as the gasp leaves Katie’s mouth. When she starts laughing, you should be reassured that she’s okay with everything, but it unsettles you more, the sound entirely manic. A laugh that screams that she believes you’re playing the biggest practical joke on her of all time. 

In all honesty, it just shocked Katie to her soul. She can’t actually believe that you, the chatterbox that is her best friend, has shagged the grumpy rockstar singer that has never once uttered a word to her or Jamie about liking you in that way. She can see it though, she can imagine it was hot, but she is still so very shocked it’s difficult to stop the out of control laughter reaction. 

All you can do is rub your eyes for a second in an attempt to hide your face. After a few seconds, you rest your hands on your burning cheeks and gently drag them down as you ask in a pained voice, “Katie, have I made a huge mistake?”

“You’ve shagged Alex.” Your best friend's tone sounds entirely shocked with too much excitement still there to even answer your question. She has to say it out loud again, this time even louder, to even process it, “I can’t believe you shagged Alex!” But before you can even shush her, she turns and looks towards the stairs, yelling, “Jamie!”

“Katie! What the fuck, stop!” Your eyes go wide and you pray that Jamie’s selective hearing has come into play because you don’t want him here right now. You beg her, your hand even going out to hold her arm, “Please, I'm being serious. I'm freaking out.” 

“What are you freaking out about?” She still looks gagged, but now the excitement creeps in and she giggles, “This is brilliant.”

“How is this brilliant?” You ask, feeling your head whirring with every thought under the sun. You state the obvious, “It’s Alex.”

He’s one of her husband’s best friends. One of her close friends. You’re sure that this must cross some sort of unspoken friendship boundary. 

“Right?” She looks at you as if you’ve grown another head, clearly not understanding at all as to why you think this is an issue. “You’re surely not worried about me and Jamie having an issue with this, right?”

You think she’s losing it because of course that is a reason you’re freaking out. “Well, that is a part of my worry, yes.”

“Well, don't, because I'm buzzing for you.” Katie assures you, and she can practically see the way you let yourself take a breath. 

She wants to scorn you for being so worried about her reaction. It didn’t really matter if they were okay with it. As long as you and Alex were consenting adults and you were both happy with what was happening, then they wouldn’t stand in your way. But she can see your nervousness is deeper than just her blessing.

So your best friend asks, “What else are you worried about?”

“A lot of things.” You tell her as you press your lips against the rim of your wine glass. 

“Like what?” She asks, entirely calm again until her eyes go wide when she realises she needs to know more information, “Wait, how serious is this? Or is this a one time thing?”

If only you got a phone call, maybe you’d know. But alas.

So you just start from the beginning, “When he came to my house, he asked me if I was nervous around him because I wanted to fuck him. And when I stumbled on an answer he kept talking about it and we kissed. And t-” 

“Wait,” Katie’s jaw drops again and she almost shouts, “You kissed before we even got out?!” 

“Yeah,” You nod, trying not to think about the singer's lips on your own as you continue to ramble on, “And then I blurted out that I don’t do one night stands and he said he never said he wanted one. And then I said I’ve never done a friends with benefits thing. And then he kept flirting and teasing me all night and then the next thing I know, he’s going down on me on the stupid fucking orange settee in his lounge.”

Hearing that, your best friend desperately tries and ultimately fails to keep herself together. She wants to scream from the rooftops, but she can see your hand is over your mouth like you’re afraid to open it again. She's never seen you internally cringe so much since the first person you slept with after your divorce years ago. 

She’s trying to be the best friend she can to you, but ultimately she needs all the facts before she can give you her verdict, so she doesn’t really hesitate to ask, “How many times did he make you-”

“Five. I came five times.” You say through your fingers, as if you can’t believe it yourself. 

“Fuck off!” Katie gasps and slaps your arm. You’re in the middle of saying ‘ow’ as she shouts, “Five times! You’re joking?!”

“No.” You shake your head, rubbing the spot she hit. 

“Christ,” Your best friend looks at you a little jaw dropped again before she seems to regain some clarity when she tells you, “Hun, you are winning.”

“Yeah, well,” You mumble, shaking your head and taking a long sip of your wine, “That remains to be seen.”

“What do you mean?!” She hits you again then, and you frown at her as she groans, “I fucking wish-“

“Don’t,” you interrupt, holding your finger up, “You and Jamie have it very good! Don’t say-“

“Hun.” She deadpans, “We have a three year old child, do you think we have time for a session like that?”

“It wasn’t- He didn-“ You stumble on your words, feeling your cheeks get hot again and your heart start thudding embarrassingly fast as you explain in a whisper, “Some of it was the morning after.”

You can’t look at your best friend when you say that. Instead, you swirl your wine around your glass like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. It’s lucky you do though, because your best friend just about manages to pick up her jaw from the ground.

She starts grinning. “I can't wait to ask you every question under the sun about him now. I’ve not had the courage to fully ask the others. You’re my open book.” She chuckles, leaning forward to grab the bottle of wine from the coffee table before going to tip more into your glass, “Here, have some more wine.”

“Katie no, no.” You push the wine away from you, putting it down, your anxiety peeking at her finding this so funny when you’re about to have a meltdown. “This really isn't funny. Not today.” Only when you hide your face into your hands again does she realise you’re really on the verge of having a meltdown. You mumble, “I’m going to spiral and die.”

Katie decides to be serious for a second and comfort you. This has clearly been plaguing you and she can tell that you need her to forget that she knows him for a minute to help you work out what to do. 

“Okay, then tell me, what are you so scared of?” Your best friend asks, looking at you sincerely when she says, “This could be so good for you, Y/N/N.” 

It would be easier to ask what I’m not scared of, you think. 

But you tell her the thoughts running through your mind, “I’m scared I'll be wasting my time. I’m scared he’s going to get bored of me. And I'm scared that I've not felt that good or that comfortable with anyone that quickly in a long time… Christ, we had barely had a full conversation before the other day and now look at me.” You gesture to your neck as you carry on, “Massive fucking lovebite on my neck that I can’t cover up for shit and-”

“Breathe, oh my god, take a minute.” Katie stops you before you can continue any further. Christ, you’ve really wound yourself up this time, so she promises you, “You’re okay. It's okay.”

“Is it though?” You inquire, “Because he said he was going to call and he hasn’t and I’m not sure I want him to because I feel like, I dont know, what the fuck- “

“Hun, listen to me, calm down.” Your best friend stops you from falling down the rabbit hole by grabbing your hand and giving it a firm squeeze as she again promises you, “You’re fine, this is fine. You’ve just tried before you buyed and that can’t hurt. Like if he was shit you could bin him off, but now you know you’re at least going to have exciting sex.” 

“But is that enough?” You can’t help but wonder out loud, “I don’t even know if we’ve got anything in common, Kate.”

You’re not stupid. You know this thing doesn’t mean you’re in a relationship, but you can’t see yourself sleeping with someone for a long time if the only thing you have in common is liking to make each other climax. Christ, it’s too stressful, you’re really not cut out for this. 

“You have lots in common,” She assures you, and she smiles a little as she admits, “I’m surprised that this hasn’t happened sooner if I’m honest.” 

“What if it doesn’t work out?” You have to ask for your own peace of mind, “What if I make it awkward with Jamie and then you-”

“Y/N. Stop.” Your best friend interrupts, not letting you continue, “No spiralling allowed. Just let yourself enjoy it. God knows you deserve it.”

That, you can’t really disagree with. You’ve not been with anyone for a long while. You certainly deserve to have some fun, and considering she doesn’t seem to be fussed that the person you're having fun with is Alex, you guess that you’re willing to continue whatever this is if he wants to. 

“But he didn’t call,” you say, and your voice breaks at the end. 

Katie gives you a look. You don’t like that there’s a hint of pity in it. “I’m sure there’s a reason,” she assures you, then she thinks to ask the obvious question, “Did you give him your number?”

You blink at her. “Well, no,” You admit. You flush, looking away in embarrassment. “He said he’d call me like he already had my number. I just thought you or Jamie might have given it to him way before now. My number’s been the same for years.”

Katie can’t contain her small chuckle hearing that, “You’re stressed about this and you didn't even give him your number, Y/N.” 

You smile hearing how it sounds, but stress, “He said it like he had it already, Kate.”

“I just think that you’re best not to stress out until you know for a fact he has your number. I haven’t given it to him before, I don’t know if Jamie has.” Your best friend smiles at you before picking up your wine again to give it to you. “Can ask Jamie if he has though. Jamie!”

Your stomach drops again at the thought of Alex possibly already having told Jamie and still no phone call from you. It worsens when you hear Jamie start coming down the stairs and Katie turns to you quickly and asks, “Please can I tell him?”

You start to bargain, “You can see if he knows but don't just outrig-“

“Okay deal,” Katie interrupts excitedly before shouting, “Jamie, come here.”

You both see him walk leisurely down the stairs and when he makes it to the hall, Katie waves him over, “J.” When he turns around and walks in, you see he’s on the phone. 

“Yes if you still really want to. Kid is in bed so do not ring the doorbell. Right, bye.” The guitarist says before putting the phone down and back into his pocket as he gives Katie wide eyes and asks, “What darling, I’m trying to put your child to bed.”

Ignoring the ‘your’, Katie asks, “Jamie, did you know that Alex and Y/N shagged the other night?”

“Katie!” You shout, not believing she just told him like that.

“You’re joking!” Jamie’s eyes go wide in shock and he immediately looks from Katie to you asking, “Did you actually?!”

Katie teases and answers for you, “Yes, she did.” You want to curl up in a ball of embarrassment and die. 

“Stop,” You close your eyes for a second, so you can ignore the smug look both the Cooks are giving you. “I’m fucking mortified.”

Regaining his ability to function properly after a shock like that, Jamie shakes his head and thinks out loud, “That makes so much sense now.”

You’re thankful Katie asks, “What does?”

“He’s been asking after you all weekend.” Jamie grins looking at you. “I was wondering why he was asking for your number.”

“Did you give it him?” Your best friend asks expectantly, needing to know to answer your earlier question. 

And all is revealed when the guitarist admits, “Well, no.”

You breathe a little easier at the same time Katie scolds and slaps her husbands arm, yelling, “What the fuck Jamie, why?!”

“How was I meant to know they’d already fucked, Katie. Christ, that hurt.” He rubs his arm and backs away from the settee. “I didn’t think you’d want Alex trying to shag your best mate.”

The blonde shakes her head, “She’s been panicking all weekend because he’s not called her.”

“Wait, is this like a friends with b-” Jamie starts to question but his wife interrupts. 

Thankfully she answers for you, a lot harsher than you would have probably gone, but at least you don’t have to comment after she tells him, “She would know what they were if you gave him her phone number, you moron.” 

“I’m sorry Y/N, I didn’t know.” The guitarist apologises sincerely. 

You assure him, “It’s okay, J,” before finishing what's left in your wine glass.

It wasn’t like he was meant to know. And you’re very grateful that Alex hadn’t already told him. But your best friend isn’t so forgiving. 

“No it’s not.” Katie frowns at her husband, “You should have given it to him straight away. You know they’d be good together, we’ve talked about it before!”

“Three fucking years ago, Kate.” He reminds her, before once again apologising to you, “Sorry, Y/N.” 

But after hearing that, it’s your turn to be jaw dropped, “What?” 

Katie sighs, clearly hoping to never have to tell you this but she admits, “I was going to set you up with him before he got with Taylor, but then he went back to LA and next thing we knew he had a girlfriend.” 

The mention of Taylor and the memory of what happened there cracks open a whole other can of worries in your head, but thankfully you don’t have to deal with that today. You keep that buried as you hear the Cook’s front door open and a familiar voice rings out into their house, “Hello.”

Your eyes go wide as you ask, “Is that?”

“Alex, yes.” Your nightmare is confirmed by Jamie as tells you and his wife, “He’s calling round for his guitar that he left the other day.”

You try and hide yourself back into the settee, mumbling, “Fuck my life.”

“Sounds like he did.” Katie smirks, which makes Jamie laugh. You want to die. 

But unfortunately, you can’t call her out on it because Alex walks into the room. Of course, he looks fucking drool worthy and he’s not even trying, jeans, white top, and a mustard cardigan. His hair still at that awkward unruly length where he couldn’t yet style it so he just let it be and god you hate him for looking so good.

He’s smiling when he comes into the room clearly pleased to see his friends but when his eyes drop to you, there’s a certain look in his eye that has your skin erupting in goosebumps. A knowing look that for a brief moment, everything that happened over the weekend floods back to the forefront of both of your minds.

As you’re silently seething at him for looking like a wet dream come to life, your best friend gets up with a big grin on her face and she hugs the singer quickly. 

“Hey, youuu.” She draws out in a way that is so telling, you want the earth to swallow you whole. 

Never in your life did you think Katie Cook would be so fucking shit at being subtle. But apparently when it's best friends involved, subtlety doesn’t exist. 

“Katie.” Alex smiles at her, clearly realising why she was being so over the top. Regardless, he hugs her back before releasing her, and then his eyes land on you and he nods a silent hello and smiles, “Y/N.”

Your smile back at him, and it's clear for everyone to see that you’re a little embarrassed, but that's no surprise when gossip is in the air. If ever they thought you would be a little more reserved, it was certainly in a situation like this. 

“I’ll get you another glass of wine, Y/N.” Katie comes back towards you, which is a little ridiculous considering your glass is quite full from the hearty pour she gave you earlier. Still, she grabs it, then nods at Alex. “I’m assuming you’re driving, Al, so I’ll make you a brew.”

He nods and smiles, “Thanks love.” Katie grins back, before turning towards her husband.

“Jamie,” she demands, “Kitchen now.”

The guitarist isn’t one to go against his wife, so he stands up without a word and follows her into the kitchen. As soon as the door is closed, Alex looks down at you and states, “So… You told Katie then.”

Please God let the earth swallow me whole right this very second. Please… Please… Please… Fucking dick. 

“Couldn’t really keep it from her,” You shrug, defending yourself. After all, it’s entirely your decision who you tell or not. You can feel yourself get all hot and bothered at the subtle mention of it, “She’s my best friend and you work with her husband so I-”

“Don’t look so panicked,” Alex says as he takes the seat next to yours. He tells you, “It’s okay. It’s not a secret.”

As he passes by, you get hit with the now familiar scent of eucalyptus and it throws you right back to being in the shower, him pressing you up against the glass with his fingers inside of you. It hits you all at once making it difficult to think but ultimately you know you have to carry on and not give into what you can only describe as war flashbacks.

You’re about to carry on, “I-” But Alex cuts you off;

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you,” He tells you sincerely. He looks into your eyes as he softly admits, “I’ve been trying to get your number off Jamie for the last two days and he was being a stubborn piece of shit.”

“It’s okay…” You find yourself relaxing as you tell him, “I think he’s about to be ripped a new arsehole for that, so no need for you to go in on him.”

Alex snorts at that, expecting nothing less from Mrs Cook’s wrath. As his laughter subsides though, he takes his phone from his pocket and holds it out to you, “Can I get your number then, please?”

You’re almost shocked for a second, but instead of letting that show, you nod, “Yeah.” You take it from him. 

He lets you navigate your way around the phone until you’re typing the numbers into a new contact. It takes you less than 30 seconds to create your contact, save it and hand it back to him, but he surprises you when he then taps a button and puts the phone to his ear. 

Clearly, you know it’s your phone that’s about to ring, so you raise your eyebrows and ask, “Did you think I’d give you a fake one?” 

It’s no surprise at all that your phone starts buzzing away on the coffee table where you put it down earlier. You don’t even make an attempt to get it, you just watch as Alex smiles almost victoriously and tells you, “Just making sure.” 

Both of you share a smile then, but unfortunately, it only lasts a minute because the married couple comes back in with your drinks. Katie is still grinning like she's just won the lottery when she sees the two of you beside each other, “Took my seat, did you, Al?”

“Sorry,” He apologises and goes to stand up, “I can-”

“No, no,” Katie stops him, instead she heading to sit on the other side of the settee, “Stay sat next to your l-

“Do not finish that sentence,” you interrupt, but it’s too late.

She trails off singing, “Loverrr.”

Never before have you wished you could die but it looks like now's the time. Fucks sake. 

Alex presses his lips together, finding this a little too funny even though he shouldn’t. He doesn’t mind her taking the piss a little. It wasn’t like he ever told her he was interested in her best friend before, so he guesses this is to be expected. It’s something he needs to take on the chin. Your reaction however, he finds hilarious.

“I hate you,” You frown, rightfully demanding, “Give me my wine.” Your hand reaches out expectantly.

And thank Christ she’s poured you a large glass, because you definitely need it. As soon as it’s in your hand, you take a long sip of it, needing it as a coping mechanism at this point. 

You don’t care if they are all looking at you, you just need the wine. Who would have ever thought this would be a Monday night? You’re certainly going to regret this tomorrow, but you can’t bring yourself to care at this moment. 

“So…” Katie trails off, still grinning. She's now sitting beside Jamie on the other side of the corner settee, so you can’t even kick her.

Alex repeats, “So…”

But you're still looking at your best friend and you hate the way she’s smiling like the Cheshire Cat. You warn her,  “Stop grinning, you’re making me so uncomfortable.” 

“But there’s much to smile about.” She teases, looking at you and Alex and getting even more excited. 

“Stop it.” You tell her, reaching across and managing to slightly kick her shin. She fakes a gasp as the lads laugh. 

“Who knew you were so feisty.”

Jamie smirks, adding to the jokes because he can’t help himself, “Alex might have some insight on that now.” Alex takes a sip of his brew that his mate previously handed him so he doesn’t give away any reaction to that.

You don’t have quite the same reaction. Instead, you threaten him, “Imma ram your guitar up your arse if you don’t close your mouth.”

Katie sees her opportunity to joke and takes it without a second thought, “Ooo, kinky.”

It makes Jamie laugh and Alex can’t hold his chuckle. You just end up closing your eyes, wishing they would just give you a break. This time, you choose not to respond to it, instead taking another long sip of your wine. 

The next five minutes are filled with subtle hints that you don't rise to, and thankfully a normal conversation ends up seeping back in. You don’t nearly speak up as often as you usually would. Although that could be down to the wine, you know it’s because you’re biting your tongue so you don’t accidentally get more jokes thrown your way. 

You’re happy slowly drinking your wine and people watching how the three of them play into their dynamic. It's clear they have been friends for so long, and it’s really endearing to see how comfortable they are together. It makes you all the more glad to have Katie in your life, someone who makes you feel so at ease and gently pushes your boundaries from time to time, but it ultimately makes you closer.

You're so lost in your thoughts that you don’t really pay much attention to the conversation at all. In fact, you couldn’t tell any of them what it was about, but you didn’t exactly mind until Katie realises you’ve been mostly silent for a while now and she can’t help but tease you again. 

“Nothing to add, Y/N/N?” Your best friend asks you, and when you tune back in and realise you’ve got no clue what they are on about, you just press your lips together and gently shake your head. You would hope it’d get you off the hook for not listening, but you’re not so lucky. 

Instead it makes Katie’s smile grow, and she has the opportunity to lightheartedly tease again, “Cat got your tongue? Or is your throat sore?” 

It takes everything in you not to spontaneously combust, because you’re sure you could with how hot your cheeks immediately go. You make sure you avoid all eye contact with Alex so you can get your response out, “Ride on that, slut.” You accompany it with your middle finger.

“Come on, lighten up.” She laughs, “Jesus, who knew you could be this quiet with enough wine?” Your best friend jokes, and your lips tug up into a smile when she continues, “Is this a miracle?”

Jamie knows his wife is just trying to include you in the conversation again, so he chips in on the joke and adds, “Should I check if pigs are flying outside?”

“Nice to finally get a word in.” Alex chuckles in jest, looking from you with a smile and back to Katie and Jamie who are already giggling too. 

His comment feels like a bullet to the chest though and the smile instantly falls from your face. It makes you remember him telling you to be quiet in bed with him, and again now. It makes you want to curl up into a ball and disappear. It's not your fault you’re a chatty person or if you nervously ramble, it makes you feel so insecure and that’s not how you want to feel on top of everything tonight.

You release a short sigh and mumble under your breath, “Like you ever talked to me before you wanted to fuck me.” You take a sip of your wine and focus on the happy couple across from you. 

In your peripherals, you see the singer's head snap back to look at you, but you pay him no attention after that comment. You still just want to disappear into the settee though, especially after that comment. 

Thankfully the Cook’s have continued on with their little jokes and have paid you no attention. Jamie turns back from looking out of the window and tells you like it’s breaking news, “No flying pigs, must mean you’re okay?”

“Mmm,” You hum, taking another sip of your wine like you believe that’s the only reason you’re well. Playing up to it, you ask, “What was the topic of conversation?”

Now, when Katie sees an opportunity, she rarely doesn’t take it. So you’ve pretty much lined it up for her when she lies and says, “We were discussing if mirror sex, choking, or dirty talk is most advantageous to encourage a woman to climax? Care to share your view?”

And with that, you’re gone. 

“Right.” You down your wine then, feeling your cheeks go uncharted hot in embarrassment, and you stand up in protest, announcing, “I’m walking home.” 

Looking at the clock you see it’s almost 10 anyway and you have to be up early for work, so it’s best you head out of this mad house sooner rather than later. And it will give you a break from having fun poked at you.

Katie starts manically laughing at that, and Jamie chuckles. Alex does too, but he can’t help but offer, “I’ll drive you.”

“It’s fine,” you brush him off, not needing the extra awkwardness that a journey home with him would entail. That, and you don’t want to be a burden to him. “I can walk.”

“I literally drive past your house.” Alex turns to you. He insists, “I’ll drive you.”

“Okay,” you give in, knowing you’ll feel safer and it’s fucking freezing out. “Thank you.”

He smiles at you then and you just about smile back, before you turn and go to get your coat

“Ever the gentleman, Alexander.” Katie smiles and just as you're about to leave the room, she stops you and stands up, “Y/N, a word please.”

You suppress your sigh, abandoning your mission to get your coat and get out to head into the kitchen with your best friend. As soon as the door is closed, you wish you never bothered though. 

“What are you wearing under here?” Katie grins, spinning you around so she can get her hands on the bottom of your hoodie. She tries to lift it up as she asks, “Do you need to change into something sexy real quick?” 

“I’m not shagging him tonight, Katie.” You say seriously, but you can’t stop laughing as you pull your hoodie back down, “Stop.” 

“Come onnnnn.” She whines, but giggles again when she starts trying to get at you again. 

“Katie,” You warn her again, pushing her off you and you can’t help but laugh and yell, “Jamie! Get your wife off me!”

Thankfully, your hero Jamie Cook comes to your rescue and when he’s in the room she lets you go. As you make your way out, you briefly brush past Alex who’s heading into the kitchen with the empty mugs he and Jamie had. 

You look at the ground, not daring to look at him after the shite your best friend has just been spouting. You head towards the front door with Jamie in tow behind you. Once the mugs are in the sink, Alex is about to head back towards the lounge to grab his jacket, but Katie gets his attention instead.

“Al, despite what you’ve just seen me do, don’t tease her.” Katie tells him quietly, being serious for a second when she says, “She doesn’t like to be teased.”

He raises his eyebrows and tells your best friend, “I beg to differ.” You definitely like to be teased, both verbally and physically. 

Katie has to mute the laugh that she wants to let out, because she needs to be serious when she tells him, “In this setting, dipshit. Don’t tease her. Don’t make her overthink it.”

“She’s overthinking what?” He frowns a little, not understanding what you could be worried about when everything was out in the open and it wasn’t a secret. 

“Nothing yet.” Katie doesn’t spill all your secrets. She thinks it's best to let you settle for a while now after knowing it wasn’t on purpose that he didn’t call. But she needs Alex to know, “But if you tease her, she will. Be gentle.”

Alex has to press his lips together for a second to try not to smile, because he knows all too well you don’t like it gentle either. He tells your best friend, “You’re making it difficult not to make jokes.” 

“Just give her an easy time of it. I can get away with stuff, but she still doesn’t know you or your humour very well.” She raises her eyebrows when she says, “And you certainly don’t know hers.” 

Alex begs to differ though, “I think we’re quite similar, are we not?”

“That’s something you should be finding out for yourself.” She pats his cheek a few times, and she grins when she says, “You picked a gooden, darling, you just got to not fuck whatever it is up.” But all of that means nothing without the threat of, “Or you’ll have me to answer to.”

And Christ if that isn’t warning enough, Alex doesn’t know what is.

~*~*~*~

“You’re being weird.” Alex finally says. 

You’ve been alone in the car with him for two long awkwardly silent minutes. Looking out of the passenger window like the roads were the most interesting thing in the world in effort to not have to communicate with the singer. 

This time you’re singing a Sam Fender song in your head to bypass the time, trying and failing not to feel disgustingly awkward around him. But you can feel the tension in the air. You can feel the way his eyes keep lingering on you, the way he wants to initiate a conversation but is waiting for you to. Good luck to him. After that comment earlier, you certainly won’t be doing that. 

Clearly he feels the atmosphere between you as well. The ‘you’re being weird’ was entirely unprompted considering you’re just sitting in his car, rubbing your hands slightly in your lap because of the cold. 

“No, I’m not.” You glance at him a little shocked he even said anything. 

“You are,” Alex tells you, glancing at you and when his eyes find yours, you can see they are knowing ones. After you look away from him, he asks, “Do you regret it?”

“No, I-” You pause before deciding to be entirely honest, but it makes your cheeks hot when you admit, “I really don’t.”

It makes Alex very happy hearing that, but it doesn’t explain your behaviour, so he presses on, “Then why are you being quiet?” 

“Because I don’t want to annoy you.” You say quietly, still not really wanting to look at him again. 

“You don’t annoy me, Y/N.” Alex assures you as he looks over at you again before turning the corner at the junction. 

You frown at that, your head snapping back to look at him when you begin to argue, “But you said-”

“I was joking, sweet,” Alex interrupts, not wanting you to feel uncomfortable around him at all. He manages to look at you as he says with a cheeky smile, “It’s endearing when you run your mouth, even more so when you can't keep quiet in bed.”

The mention of it has your body flashing with heat. You have to stop yourself from shuddering at the thought. You warn him, looking away embarrassed, “Not helping.” 

Alex laughs a little at that, but he wants you to open up with him, so he asks again in a chirpy tone, “What’s up? Come on, tell me.” 

“I just- I’m in my head about it a bit.” Trying to explain as best you can, you continue, “Thought I’d really fucked things between me and Katie when you didn’t call… And I know it’s not your fault, I should have just given you my number, but the way you said it made it sound like you already had it. I was panicking thinking I can never be in same room as you and t-” You catch yourself, hearing how you must sound so you stop and sigh, “I'm rambling again.” 

“It’s cute.” Alex smiles almost wishing he wasn’t driving so he could study your reactions.

“It’s not cute,” You shake your head, smiling a little when you admit, “I was ready to bin your albums.” 

Alex’s jaw drops hearing that, and he sees you already looking at him when he asks, “You were going to bin my music?” 

You nod, confirming it’s the truth, “Puppets albums, too. Maybe even Miles’ from the association.” 

“Terrible.” He chuckles, unable to stop smiling as he turns the corner onto your road. 

Thankfully after that, the last 30 seconds of the journey to yours is a silent but comfortable one. You’re a little surprised he remembers your house number as he pulls up exactly outside it, but as you’re taking your seatbelt off and Alex pulls the handbrake up, there’s an expectant air between you where you both clearly want to say what’s whirring around your minds. 

You’re silently talking yourself up. Just do it, Y/N. Ask him. Ask what he wants. Ask if he wants you again. Tell him your conditions. Come on, do it. Don’t be a pussy and do it. 

Do. It.

Before you scare yourself out of saying it, you blurt out, “Do you want to fuck me again?” But at the same time Alex asks, “Can I take you out?”

Alex answers you before you can even really process what he asked, “Yes.”

“Well you’re not going to until you get to know me better.” You give your ultimatum, “I need to feel comfortable around you so if you want this,” You gesture between the two of you, “To continue for a while, we need to get to know each other.”

You don’t want it to seem like you’re asking for a relationship out of him, because you’re really not. All you want is to not act so awkwardly around him all the time. You don’t want to be the nervous rambling girl he fucked once upon a time, you want to be entirely yourself. You want him to know you properly. Experience you at your very best. 

“So I’ll ask again,” Alex smiles, not having an issue with your proposal at all, “Can I take you out?” 

You grin back, trying to ignore the way he’s looking at you makes you want to melt. You agree, “Yeah, when and where?” 

“Tomorrow night?” Alex suggests, “Could just come to mine and we can talk? Start off small and go from there?” 

“I think we’d both just fuck again if we did that.” You say honestly, “Need to go out somewhere to start with.” 

You just know you’d cave if he started teasing you again. You feel all gooey at the thought of it now, and it’s not like you don’t want him to touch you again, but you need to set that boundary for yourself. And you’re thankful Alex seems to be willing to work with you. But not without making your squirm somehow. 

“Is it the worst thing if we fucked again?” Alex grins, and it’s a cheeky one. A smile that makes your heart race.  

“No,” You admit, “But I’d like to feel comfortable enough around you to not be nervous all the time.” 

Alex nods understanding entirely. He didn’t really expect you to be okay with just fucking him and then leaving it until the next time. He knew some work would have to be done in between and getting to know you really isn’t a hardship for him. That would be trying to let himself open up to you. 

“Okay well, what about the cinema?” Alex thinks out loud. 

“I’m not one to not watch a film so if you’re suggesting that so we can just get off with each other in the back like teenagers in American films, that won’t work for you either.” You prewarn him.

“Believe it or not, Y/N,” the singer starts, incapable of not grinning. Of course you would think he’d try to start something in a cinema. He assures you, “I really like watching films, so I’d be sharing popcorn with you and that’s about it.” 

You smile, liking the sound of that, but curiosity gets the better of you, “Sweet or salted?”

“Salted.” Alex tells you.

And that makes you gasp. No one else you know likes salted popcorn. You’re always forced to eat sweet all the time when you’re out with your friends or family.  

“Thank god someone else likes salted popcorn!” You say rather excitedly, already practically tasting it on your tongue. It makes you all the more excited for tomorrow now. 

It makes Alex all the more enamoured by you. And he can’t help but think it's rather funny that you seem very excited by the thought of salted popcorn when he now associates you with sweet. 

“When do you want to go?” Alex inquires. 

You think about it for a second before you realise it doesn’t matter too much, “I finish work at half four, so anytime after five.”

Alex nods, knowing that works for him completely fine. It’s not that he has any work to do considering he’s not due back out on tour until way into the new year. He can work around you entirely, and he hopes that you can make the most of each other's company until then. 

But then he realises he doesn’t know maybe one of the most obvious things he should know about you. He asks curiously, “Where do you work?”

“At the high school that’s like ten minutes away.” You tell him and you can see the surprise fill his features.

“You’re a teacher?” Alex asks with clearly shocked eyes, and when you nod, he looks even more shocked, following up with, “What do you teach?”

You shake your head, finding this a little too funny. He knows how to make you cum but he doesn’t know what you teach. This is so backwards it’s difficult not to laugh, “This is why I need you to get to know me.” 

“You’re letting me take you out on a school night,” Alex realises, sarcastically adding, “Scandalous.”

“Shut up.” You playfully roll your eyes, before you tell him off in true teacher fashion, “And I’m not impressed with you anyway.”

The singer smiles, “Why, sweet?” 

Trying not to get all flushed at the nickname, you scorn him, “You gave me a massive fucking love bite on my neck, and now I’ve got to wear a fucking scarf whilst I’m teaching.” 

Alex chuckles, but he stops himself to say a quick, “Sorry.”

“No, you’re not.” You narrow your eyes.

“You’re right,” He lets his smile shine straight through now, admitting, “I’m not.”

You tut at that, still trying to be serious when you truthfully tell him, “I had to go out and buy turtlenecks earlier.” 

“It’s the weather for it at least.” Alex smiles, not finding a bone in his body that makes him regret ever leaving a mark on you. He would make them all again given the chance. “I’m sure no one would notice” 

“In what world.” You ask, moving the collar of your hoodie so he can see the mark he gave you. 

And Alex’s lips tingle and his dick twitches at the sight of it. It’s so prominent on your skin, easy for anyone to see that someone had claimed you as their own in the heat of the moment. He doesn’t blame you for covering it, but Christ he wants to make more of them. 

Despite him seeing how bad his mark is, he plays it off like you could have gotten away with it, “I’m sure the kids wouldn’t have noticed.” 

“I teach sixth formers.” You tell him, “They definitely would have and they’d have called me out on it, too.”

“Oh dear.” Alex chuckles, and he promises you with a playful smirk, “Scouts honour I’ll leave one you can hide next time.” 

“One track mind.” You chuckle and shake your head before opening the door and getting out of the car, “Good night, Alex.” 

“Wait a second.” Alex laughs, winding his window down so he can catch your attention again.

“What?” You ask as you step onto the pavement and lean down so you can continue to speak to him. 

“You never told me what you teach.” Alex says as you lower yourself to his height again.

You smile at the fact he even wanted to know. But you don’t hesitate to tell him, “I teach economics.”

“That’s interesting.” Alex hums, his gaze subtly falling to your lips with you being back in such close proximity to him. 

You hum in agreement, “It is.” knowing what he’s doing but choosing not to pursue that right now. 

When his brown eyes look back up and meet your pretty ones, Alex smiles when you say, “Thanks for the lift.”

“Anytime.” The singer grins, “Night, Y/N/N.” 

You smile and maybe it’s liquid courage that makes you lean in to kiss his cheek, but you don’t regret it for a second, “Night, tax evader. See you tomorrow.” 

~*~*~*~*~*~

Over the past fortnight, you and Alex saw each other a handful of times. Two of which you were out with your friends and three times it was just you and him. The first was the cinema like you agreed on which went very well. 

The two of you stopped at a nearby restaurant to get some food before the showing where you found out a fair amount about each other. Thankfully, nothing put you off him in the slightest and with the way you were both quietly giggling and chatting at the comedic moments the film had and still after it finished when he drove you home, you like to think that he had a good time with you as well. 

Nothing happened that night, nor did it on Friday night when he took you out again. This time it was a stand up open mic night he took you to and it was a lot of fun. Again, you felt a lot more comfortable with him, so many less awkward moments than there were when he first picked you up earlier in the week.

Alex couldn’t help but find your nervous rambling endearing though, but with them you always had something interesting to say which sparked up more conversation between you. The singer kept making mental notes of your likes and dislikes and you found that you got on incredibly well and you had a lot in common, just like he previously guessed you would. 

Saturday night followed and per tradition, you and Katie had your wine night at hers, this time joined by Kelly and Kirsten. Yes, you were teased quite a bit by them when they found out, but thankfully when the boys came back from their night at the pub slightly earlier than expected, you weren’t teased when they joined you. 

Instead, the alcohol had loosened your lips and you were very engaged in the conversations going on. There were brief moments when you lost yourself though and they were down to Alex. 

You would catch him looking at you, and the looks were nowhere near friendly like he would glance at the other girls. There was something behind them and he made that clear with the way his eyes would fall to your tits or to your lips. Subtle clearly wasn’t his forte when he was horny and tipsy. 

All of that just increased the sexual tension between you though, which you guess couldn’t hurt if you were to eventually use each other again. Something that as the days went on, you silently prayed for. 

Wednesday ended up being a random night out for you all. It was Kelly’s night with the kids and she invited the Cooks out to go bowling after school, something which you and Alex ended up being invited to so you could fill up the extra spots they were paying for. 

It turned out to be a good game, the kids enjoying themselves which was the most important thing, but it was also fun because you and Alex had a little competition going. When Alex guttered his second ball and he caught you snorting at his mistake, you ended up playing to try and beat no one else but him. 

It was fun, the way you could feel his eyes on you as you threw the ball. And when you’d turn back after each shot, whether it was a good one or not, he would always be looking at you with a smirk. You think he liked that you gave him pretty much all of your attention, but you didn’t even try to hide how happy it makes you in the moment. 

Unfortunately, you ended up losing your little rivalry by a measly 5 points. Alex acted like it’s a 50 points defeat, rubbing it in. You poked his side which made him jump to try and teach him a lesson, but it just made him chuckle. He threw his arm over your shoulder as all of you walked out of the bowling alley. 

Friday night rolled around again and the big group of you went out to a bar together. The way you and Alex were around each other that night made it difficult to keep to your ultimatum. 

Despite knowing him a lot better, you still hadn’t touched each other since your first night together. Yes there were lingering touches, the brush of his fingers on your skin that lit a fire inside you, but nothing more. That night, however, was more than just lust-filled longing glances at each other. 

As soon as there was a hint of alcohol in both of your systems, Alex barely left your side. You always had his hand either lingering around your back in an effort to keep you close or resting his palm over your jeans-covered thigh. Sometimes, he would squeeze you to keep you on your toes. He certainly had your heart racing.

It was difficult to keep your mind from wandering, but you’re only human. You allowed yourself to ever so slightly lean into his touch on occasion, let him press you against his body and subtly flirt back with him both physically and verbally. But even when you bid each other goodbye that night, you didn’t even get a kiss, which left you needy and wanting him after he’d been such a tease all evening. 

Wine night was again the following day, this time it was just you and Katie. You couldn’t get the feelings from the previous night out of your head still. He felt like an itch you couldn’t scratch as you weren’t really aware of the protocol between you, especially since Alex had been the one to arrange your previous encounters. 

Thankfully, tonight Alex had messaged you on the off chance you were free. Since you were doing nothing but spinning your LPs, you agreed to let him whisk you away to an impromptu dinner. It was nice, nothing out of the ordinary now, just the both of you sharing more stories about your lives over a few drinks before you suggested finishing the bottle of wine that you bought for the table back at your house. 

The energy between you tonight was nothing short of electric. Every longing glance between you felt like a bullet striking you. God, was he good at looking at you like he wanted to devour you. He was able to flick the switch between friendly to flirty in such a natural and smooth way that he always took you by surprise. Forever giving you goosebumps, making you press your thighs together, and heating your cheeks. 

You’d been back at yours for about half an hour when Alex got up to search for another record to put on. He settled for an old French album he hadn’t long since discovered which he was surprised to find stacked on your shelf. Again, he complimented your taste and collection. 

His praise still made you feel all gooey inside which mixed with the alcohol was stirring up more sinful desires in you. It only got worse when he spotted tarot cards on your shelf beside a few of your ornaments. It made Alex tease you a little more before he fully realised that you found that sort of stuff quite interesting.  

The singer came and sat beside you, even closer than before, as you explained it to him. And despite you knowing he wasn’t retaining any information, the smile he had on that pretty face of his kept you talking at him. He couldn’t help but grin a little more when you mentioned that you can read palms too. 

“You can read palms?” He asks, all wide-eyed and disbelieved.

“Yeah, it’s really easy.” You grab his hand that’s closest to you to show him what you mean. “See, you have five main lines on your palm: Life, Head, Heart, Fate, and Sun.” You trace each one as you go. 

“The life line, despite what you may already think, doesn't mean how long you’re gonna live. It can mean a bunch of different things like big changes in your life or good genes. People also think that if it’s a bit straighter on some people's hands it can mean you’re more cautious when it comes to relationships.” You say as you let your finger trail up the line that starts from the base of his palm up and around the ball of his thumb.

“The head line is about your knowledge and creativity, so if it's straighter on some people it means they tend to think more realistically. A curved line can mean you're more artsy and creative too.” You smile, seeing that his head line is a little curved, matching what he’s like in life. After that you move on to the line that runs just under the bottom of his fingers, “The heart line is to do with romance and emotional stability, so like yours is short and curved so that tends to mean someone is more private about relationships and stuff which makes sense considering you’re a private person.”

Alex can’t help but mostly watch you as he listens to you tell him about your little hobby. He finds it funny that you know all of this stuff, but he finds himself entranced as he can’t stop looking at your lips as you’re sitting so close to him. He wants them on his own again, the kisses on the cheek when you were saying goodbye to each other the last few times he’d seen you weren’t enough. He’s so enamoured he almost forgets to look at the lines you’re showing him.

“Fate line is how likely you are to follow certain paths in your life. And the sun line means different things for everyone, depending on how prominent it is.” You explain, glancing at him still smiling away as you continue, “Yours is deep and that means you’re successful and it's theorised that you can get famous from it which I guess is right in your case. Mine is quite clear and that means I have good taste in literature and art.”

Alex can’t help but quietly tease, “And you’ve only got good taste in that because it’s written on your palm then, not because you actually have a fully functioning brain and can appreciate masterpieces for what they are?”

“It’s all just a bit of fun, Al. It’s interesting!” You laugh but you have to defend yourself. 

“Very interesting how you know all about it.” Alex grins, loving the way he has all of your attention when he jokes, “Is there a delusional line that I should look out for?”

“Okay,” You fake a pout, but then you remember what you found in his car on the way home from the cinema, “I don’t tease you because you still have Match Attack cards from when you were a teenager.”

“Hey,” He gasps, ready to defend himself in an instant, “My Mum gave me them back, it's not something I still do.”

And you know this. When you saw the files of them on the backseat of his car, you questioned him on them and he told you his Mum found them and gave them back to him. But that’s currently your only leverage so you use it against him. 

“Regardless,” You raise your eyebrows, a smile playing on your lips, “Still just as nerdy.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” Alex rolls his eyes and holds his hand out to you, “Let me see your palm then. Let me try and read you.”

You try and fail not to let your smile show as big as you want as you hold your palm out to him. The singer shuffles even closer to you, so your thighs and shoulders are pressed together and you're cosy beside each other. 

He lets a finger trail down your palm as he asks, “Remind me where the delusional line is?” 

You scoff, pulling your hand from his and flipping two fingers up at him, “It's here.” 

The singer laughs loudly at that then before gently grabbing your hand and opening it back up to focus on your palm. He traces the lines there gently and it sets your skin ablaze, tingles running though your skin. 

He looks at your hand so intently for about 10 seconds before gently humming, “Hmmm, interesting.”

“Why?” You ask, a smile growing on your lips as you ask, “What are you thinking?”

He tells you, “I’m seeing quite a lot.”

“Oh, you’re seeing it?” You grin, playing along.  

“Of course,” The singer looks at you, his eyes full of playfulness, “I’m a professional.”

You nod, trying not to laugh, “Of course.”

Eyes back on your palm, you try not to think about the way his touch makes you almost shiver. But then you start focusing on his hands. 

Those hands that made you come undone so easily. Those fingers that had been inside you and made you feel things you hadn’t felt from anyone other than yourself for the longest time. The thought makes your breath shallow and your thighs press that little bit closer together. 

“Wow,” Alex continues, “I can see this really clear.”

You ask, your cheeks starting to hurt from grinning for so long, “Really?

“What?” Alex looks at you again, he makes you feel hot under his gaze when he asks, “You don't believe me?”

“No, I do,” You lie without hesitation, loving how playful this feels, “I’m just curious about your professional opinion.”

“Well,” Alex smirks and then glances at you out of the corner of his eye, “You're in luck because I can see it all right now.”

“Right.” You nod, a little giggle falling from your lips too. 

Alex loves hearing it and knowing he’s the cause of it. Even the way you bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing so you can carry on playing along, he finds it adorable. But he doesn’t stop; he carries on, loving the way you react to him. 

“Wow, oh wow.” Alex drops his jaw, pretending to be completely enthralled in reading your palm. Now he nods, “Yeah, that's really clear.”

You smile, full of curiosity, “What is?”

“I’m seeing,” Alex looks up from your palm with a smile playing on his lips, and tells you confidently, “That you’re going to fuck a rockstar.” 

It takes everything in you not to laugh. All you can do is tilt your head and ask him with your lips twitching up, “Is that so?” 

“Yeah…” Alex nods, intertwining your fingers with his now and he gives you a little tug to encourage you closer, “I’m happy to oblige, if you’d like that?”

You don’t hesitate to move where he wants you, even closer when you move so you’re straddling his lap and Alex’s free hand finds your hip and he pulls you that bit closer before letting his thumb run over your skin that's showing from the way your top has ridden up. 

You’re smirking at each other, knowing exactly where this is headed now. The tension of the night building has hit its peak and this is it.

“You seem very confident about this reading.” You grin.

Alex’s smirk only grows at that, but this time he leans in so he can whisper as his lips brush up your neck towards your ear, “It’s written on your palm, I’m just offering you my body here.”

You hum at that, letting your free hand move to the back of his neck and up so your fingers could root through his hair. What you don’t expect is that when you give it a small tug so you could see him as you spoke to him, it causes the man that's under you to grip your hip tighter and buck up into you. You gasp at the friction. 

Alex moves back from your neck after leaving a gentle kiss there, and he’s smirking when you say breathlessly, “I’m getting the sense that you only wanted me to read your palm so you could tell me that really shit pick up line.”

“Can’t be that shit if you’re in my lap, sweet.” Alex raises his eyebrows cockily at you, a devilish grin playing on his lips.

And God, you want to kiss it off. So much so that you narrow your eyes and say, “Oh, shut up,” before your lips hungrily find his.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

A/N: Really hope you enjoyed this one! I know I did!!! How do we fancy a lil jealousy from both of them thrown into the next one. Let me know what you want to see and I'll see if i can make it happen! Thanks so much for reading and again while you wait for me, please go and read my other Alex fic @nriacc or @alovesreadings fic Constant Repeat. Enjoyyyyy x

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[shakingparadigm]

I love Mizi and I'm sorry I don't talk about her enough. I love characters who have their worlds turned upside down and have to break themselves free. I love characters who are so obviously changed by their circumstances, even down to their physical appearance.

(long ramble ahead! sorry.)

As anguished as I am by the fact that they cut her hair, it's honestly genius that they cut off the last part of her that symbolized her love for Alien Stage. She was iconized by her first round, a performance that she anticipated so much she planned her entire outfit beforehand. She wanted to wear a cute dress, she wanted to dye her hair, she even got rid of her glasses. She created a version of herself inspired by idols, blinded by glitz and glamour and false optimism. She sang and danced her way to the grave dressed as a spectacle. And she was happy to do so! So far in her life, very little went wrong. She lived a happy, loving life with her alien parent, showered in toys and such. In her eyes, being a pet was a blessing, singing was a privilege, standing on that stage was an honor. She was ignorant to the suffering of those who weren't as lucky. She never considered the possibility of losing Sua because they knew each other so well. Her voice followed Sua's like a moth to flame. She was naive enough to believe that everything would turn out alright, that within this glittery death game they would be the exception. So to have such a horrible thing happen to her, to see her universe drop cold at her feet, naturally it's too much for someone who lived her life through rose-colored glasses. Dying was supposed to be an honor, yet the crowd roared as if it were a joke. Barbaric, loud, cruel and mocking. Cheering and jeering over a lifeless body. Viewing her universe as nothing more than a broken plaything. Disposable, a loser. Her love for Alien Stage and the eager, shiny new persona she dressed herself up as died together with Sua. For the remainder of the competition she is in a daze, incredibly disoriented and in turmoil. Round 5 was even delayed because she refused to participate. In Black Sorrow, when Mizi and Till run into the Cerberus-like alien, Mizi is standing completely still, hand over her mouth in shock while Till moves to get up after being beat down. Mizi has a tendency to shut down (in VIVINOS' words, "crumble") in the face of danger and extreme stress. This trait becomes even more severe after the trauma of Sua's death. Mizi is so detached she's not paying attention for two whole rounds, delayed one, and even when she finally performs she's in constant terror and confusion. I think Mizi snapping and attacking Luka started something for her. She broke out of her daze and acted on the anger that's no doubt been rising inside of her since round 1. It's not necessarily growth yet, but it's something. After Hyuna saves her, she at least seems more present. The resistance was incredibly jarring for her because she's never been in an environment without aliens before, which can be seen in the first half of All-In. The turning point for Mizi is when Hyuna is restrained by guards, the large image of Luka causing her trauma to resurface. The interesting thing about Mizi and Hyuna's relationship is that they see themselves in each other. This familiarity is also the motivation for them to save each other. Hyuna temporarily disassociates, enough for the guards to restrain her and begin taking her away, just as they did to Mizi not too long ago. They both understand what it's like to lose someone, to break down at the thought of them. Mizi, who up until this point has been confused, clumsy and hiding behind backs, recognizes herself in Hyuna's response and springs into action.

Mizi built her life around lies and false hope, crumbled down after realizing the true nature of the game, and spent the rest of her time on that glorified chopping block just trying to process the weight of her situation. The long pink hair that she maintained resembled not only her naiveté, but her stagnance. Her idealization of Alien Stage, her blissful ignorance to suffering, and her blind compliance to a cruel system were traits that she carried with her for almost her entire life. Unchanging, just like the length of her hair. But within that moment of Hyuna's helplessness, Mizi shakily stands on her own two feet and dashes forward. Despite having no plans or experience, she attacks. Mizi picks herself up and acts on her own volition. No aliens. No restrictions. Her life is in her own hands now.

She's fired at. The bullet grazes her cheek. Her hair is shot off. Despite losing a part of herself, she does not falter.

Mizi has now cut off her old self. No more long pink hair, ready to be tidied and tied up with a neat little ribbon, dyed bright colors to catch the eye of an insatiable audience. No more dressing and prepping like a lamb to the slaughter. Her hair is short, pure pink, messy and unkempt and falling over her eyes. She is not the same person she was before. She's learning to fend for herself, pushing against opposing forces and moving forward despite everything. She drives the bike herself, determined, stronger. Hyuna calls her "solid". Mizi is no longer a commodity for entertainment, a plaything who's suffering is eagerly consumed by alien viewers. She's become her own person, hurt and upset and determined to save others from the fate Sua suffered. I love her for everything she is.

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Kaiju Week in Review (December 3-9, 2023)

I made a frame from this shot Wikizilla's Image of the Week. No regrets. Monarch: Legacy of Monsters, I love ya. When I was a teenager, explicit queerness was anathema to most big-name franchises. Those dominoes have been slowly falling, often in lower-profile tie-ins first, and to me this is a huge one: 69 years without a queer live-action Godzilla character are over. And Cate's the main protagonist of the show! I'm not under the delusion that media representation will cure all society's ills, but it sure doesn't hurt. Now, the non-Tumblr parts of the fandom are being completely normal about this, right? Right? Whatever, that's why you'll never get rid of me here. Cate had a couple more sweet moments with May in this episode, and Mariko Tamaki wrote episode 7, so don't expect her to stop kissing girls. Hopefully she's learned a valuable lesson about cheating though.

"The Way Out" is also another gift to those of us who have always wanted to see more of the ramifications of a world where Godzilla exists, from underground towns for the super-rich to ruined cities where federal troops shoot looters and harass people experiencing homelessness. And the show continues to find ways to use kaiju to talk about COVID, from Cate and Kentaro's exchange about San Francisco truthers ("It's easier than waking up every day and thinking, at any moment, the same could happen to you") to the blink-of-an-eye speed at which the threat went from on the news to her front door in the flashbacks.

As I foretold, we got a Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire trailer, an amusing contrast to the weighty Toho flick and Apple show already fore of mind. It's Adam Wingard unbound, that's for sure. The human cast seems pared back, a longstanding Monsterverse problem, and the kaiju fights were far and away the best part of Godzilla vs. Kong, so hopefully this approach will play to his strengths. But that movie also had excellent VFX, and some of the shots in here are rough. There's time to fix them, at least... which probably can't be said of Godzilla's design. I like that he's pink (did some Warner Bros. executive take the wrong message away from Barbie?) and sporting a thagomizer on his tail, but his proportions are uncanny. And I see Kong found the Infinity Gauntlet; good for him.

I am, of course, not done talking about Godzilla Minus One. It added over 200 screens and made $8.3 million in its second weekend in the U.S., a minuscule drop considering that its $11.4 million opening "weekend" spanned five days. Almost a third of all tickets sold this weekend were for Godzilla or Hayao Miyazaki's The Boy and the Heron, remarkable in a market so allergic to foreign imports. That brings its total to $25.3 million (more by the time you read this). With an avalanche of Christmas blockbusters on the way, its grip on premium-format screens is about to slip. Still, I see it hanging around theaters for a while. I have never seen the fandom so united in praise for a film before, and it's making plenty of new fans.

Some of those fans are in high places. Variety leaked that it's on the 20-film shortlist for Best Visual Effects at the Oscars (to be narrowed to five nominees), something I, again, never expected to read about a Toho Godzilla film. Alas, it's locked out of this year's Best International Film category due to the quirky nomination period.

Much has been made of how great the film looks on a $15 million budget. I have two caveats, one in each direction. No one is quite sure where the $15 million figure came from; Yamazaki said at a recent con appearance that he only wished he had that much to play with. (He has yet to divulge the actual budget, just that it was above ¥1 billion.) Now, unions in the Japanese film industry are much weaker than in Hollywood, so a given production budget goes a lot further in Japan. All the same, I doubt that alone explains Minus One looking better than most superhero movies made for twenty times the cost. I'll offer a couple more reasons: Yamazaki has extensive visual effects experience (he's been the VFX supervisor of all but one of the live-action films he's directed), and the film's big effects scenes aren't as busy or lengthy as many of the Hollywood counterparts. I don't know if Disney will ask Yamazaki to direct the next Star Wars movie (that would require there to be a next Star Wars movie), but the studios here should be taking notes.

the sphinx, a blog with a ton of American Godzilla rarities to share, has outdone itself—behold a continuity and dialogue script for the U.S. version of King Kong vs. Godzilla! Included in the download is a detailed comparison with the film. No huge differences, apart from the script giving the secretary added to the U.S. version a name, but a fascinating piece of history all the same.

The Minus One incarnation of Godzilla (MaiGoji?) has joined Godzilla Battle Line, accompanied by [SPOILER]. To be honest, my enthusiasm for this game has been flagging, and I'm not caught up on the strategies developing around these two, so I'll just refer you to Sir Melee's channel as usual. This Godzilla's also doing a collaboration with the Japanese mobile game Fleet of Blue Flame.

Tiffany Grant, Asuka's original voice actress, will narrate the audiobooks for the Neon Genesis Evangelion: ANIMA light novels which explore an Instrumentality-free path for the show. Seven Seas Entertainment published them in English from 2019 to 2021, which, to be honest, was also news to me.

This one's for my fellow library workers: the obscenely popular Who HQ nonfiction series for children is publishing a book about Godzilla next June. I don't know if this will have quite the same impact on today's young Godzilla fans as the Ian Thorne tome had on Gen Xers and Millennials, what with the Internet and all, but it's certain to be more factual. Expect illustrations instead of licensed photos, and not just because of Toho.

I can finally talk more about the Godzilla x Kong: Titan Chasers mobile game without fearing a DMCA. Not that there's much to talk about; it's freemium through and through and I'm not sure I know a single person who's excited for it. Interesting to see some critters from the comics break into another medium, at least. Here's the trailer.

[lokorum]

Pls rant about non romance cole…he’s my favorite character in anything, ever and it feels so sad that we never got to have a deeper relationship w him. Like the mechanics/possible lore of having a romance with a spirit are so tantalizingly interesting but no…also doubting we will see him in veil guard which leaves me so so broken …

*looks at their pile of unpacked feelings about cole*

so ૮( ◡̀_◡́)ა where to start....................

first of all uh! im not good at talking! that's why i draw phphp but i'll try my best to resurrect my memories from 2014 and share it with you!! sorry if it will sound weird, english is not my native language! 

well WELL from the begining then. i remember spending hours  more like days hhhh thinking about how weird and cool the recruiting scene with cole is? later when he is already with the inquisition, our party is either on guard around him or kinda treats him like he is helpless and needs special attention or guidance or something like that? demonising someone like him or framing them as in need of help are like textbook behavior ofc and im not here to be a hater, i just noticed it? moments with solas and varric fighting over him like a divorced couple are super cute for sure!!

but i remember being confused because excuse me, out of all of them, this guy??, this feral bat that is chilling on the ceiling like it's a lounge-zone inside Lucius' head, created especially for him?

he is confident. also a little bit nervous, a bunch mysterious and just ghostly cool. but also confident. (im not saying this confidence is not misplaced sometimes btw x) he even tells you that if you'll leave your head you'll die! what a jokester (҂ ꒦ິヮ꒦ິ)

and the whole quest with templars and envy are soooo horror coded, i love it!! it looked a bit silly, sure

(even after so many years im not able to get rid of the image in my brain phphphp) 

but it's still a very interesting quest!! dorian is ✨the bestie✨ but i'm always picking templars bc the implications of the story are just so good

1. its placed at the beginning of the game and your character is probably confused and anxious and dont yet worked out the routine of how to deal with their new title\powers + not every inquisitor character would want to be in the spotlight.

imagine you suddenly got yourself into position where a lot of people looking up to you, listening to what you saying, placing their hopes on you or waiting for you to fail? this is terrible! id 1000% just jumped out of a cliff!!! a small one, but still 

2. you meeting the guy who basically came from a place you now have unlimited access to.

he is: a) almost as confused as you are b) possibly came to this world without knowing consequences of that decision c) along the way he is figuring out how to be himself in the environment that is nothing like where he used to live. wow thats just like forced immigration *nervous laugh*

3. and let's not forget that you are meeting him inside your head and you can say to him "you look familiar".

dont know about you but apparently i dont need much to start screaming ¯(ツ)/¯

also can i just spend the moment to say that this is three (3) identical dialogue options??????????

the screenshot is from here btw

how awesome would it be to be able to figure out stuff together? to find comfort in someone, with someone who barely experienced it this way? to build on your strong sides? like "hope" for cole and i guess "unhingedness" for the inquisitor? i bet they would ground each other easily as well: cole distracting inq by being unintentionally mischievous and inq would have a notepad with cole's "firsts ____" or they would just read together. oh im such a sucker for hurt\comfort\some things cant be healed stuff uaaaaaaaaa

ALSO THE "FORGET" THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the drama the horror the tension!!!!!!!! you can fight me over this but heres the thought:

cole being so stressed that he is erasing\being on the edge of erasing the inquisitor's memories??????

i got the feeling that cole's confidence in the concept of "help" is, among other things, makes him being able to zoom in on something borderline obsessively? or vise versa - dismissively, not noticing "it hurts, its not for the better"? he thanks you when you promise to kill him, he cries when you do not. i swear this man (─ ‿ ─)

+quick addition bc im not entirely sure: so if i got it right, the anchor makes the inquisitor "too bright" to read? so among all the people we know about inq is the one that cole can't truly empathise on this lvl? on spiritual lvl you might say lsdkjflksdjflkj sorry!!!!! but jokes aside,this is like the perfect ground to build both comforting stories 

"someone from the party notices that cole is hanging near inq before inq do, and when asked he explains it by saying something like "dry warm skin. the air is stilled with quiet, easy to breathe. i followed the shining whispers and then i was followed no more" with the most plain face possible? "

and "today for lunch i have glass" kind of stories, like "the inquisitor is cornered and possibly bleeding and probably on the verge of passing out and they know that situation is bad and no one should follow/find them, "it's better to wait it out and deal with it on my own" kind of clown behavior. so they laugh tiredly at how pathetic they are, maybe remembering something similar from their childhood, remarks from their sibling for ex., and just trying their best to not think about how they need cole's help, cole's presence. the sense of safety that comes when he is around" 

uh!!! that wasnt neither quick or painless so i'll go make a tea wait a second please

im back!! so since i talked about the forget thing i must confess - i dont really like cole's personal quest???? again, im not complaining or anything but i remember feeling kinda empty while playing it? like deep inside me, there was something sad, but it was so far away,i coudn't even feel it properly?

both human and spirit versions of his ending made me feel like the distance between you and him lengthened, and maybe you could do something about it before but now? this "something" is missing and you're lost and can't even tell for sure if theres was a chance to do something in the first place? and cole just moved on? its super logical considering he is not a romance option but phphph so, i rarely romance someone in games, partly bc rpg tends to be a little horny and im that kind of ace who is not interested in this, partly bc i tend to pay attention to non-romanceable characters, so when i started to explore last da:i dlc and i saw cole having gf i was like "well ouch".

imagine your inq has a crush on cole but they never were able to say it clearly?

mb it was a melancholic slowburn, and your character was going through too much and felt like burdening cole with their problems would be unfair?

maybe they tried but the timing was wrong, the words felt stupid, and their hands felt too dirty, too guilty?

oh anon its been ten years and its still huuuuuurts!!!! if you following me for a while you know that im an edge lord in poor disguise so its not surprising for neither you or me that i ended up rumbling about inexplicable sadness and crushing existential guilt, but sorry for that anyway!! if anyone would want me to talk about something specific, or to draw something - im here, staring at the wall, listening to cole's banter :') thank you for the wonderful question tho, it was more than just nice to return back to this ship. im so agreeing with you about cole being the fave character from everything, but i also understand that this could mean being very unsatisfied with the way he was portrayed at some points or just with the fact that characters like him are rare so im sending you warm and tight hugs and a little sketch!! <3 

let's collectively accept the fact that dav gonna be a beautiful mess, we gonna love it (passionately), we gonna be hurt by it (not surprisingly) and COLE FOREVER WILL BE THE BEST DA CHARACTER EVER IM NOT GONNA CHANGE MY MIND FIGHT ME

[creative-heart]

"Love's Blossom"| Enzo Vogrincic

Chapter 1: "Nurturing Beginnings"

Lucia’s notes: Here goes the first chapter of my new Enzo x Reader Series. It’s a bit short, but I hope you enjoy it as a way to get you into this world.

Content Warning: Baby Fever, slight brief talk of sex. I don’t think I’m missing anymore, but if I am, please let me know.

Word Count: 1.3 k

It only took for Enzo’s cousin Juan to put his newborn baby boy in Y/N’s arms for the baby fever to ignite a new kind of fire in her gut, one that she had never felt before, and it burnt so bright she thought it might consume her. The Brunette was so taken by the little boy’s hand grabbing her pinky with his whole little fist that she didn’t realize Enzo was looking at the image in front of him as if it was the air he lacked to live; a new urge of making Y/N a mom growing in his heart.

The afternoon went by basically with them two gawking at the infant boy and as soon as they sat down in their car to head home Y/N looked over at her boyfriend “How crazy would it be if I said I want to have a baby?” she bit her lip a bit scared of the dark-haired man’s reaction to this revelation even though she didn’t quite expect the response she got back. Enzo snapped his head to look at her as soon as she said that the widest brightest smile spreading across his face, “I was thinking the same, for some reason seeing you with Luca made me think about how cute a mini us would be”.

And so they came up with a plan, Y/N went to see her doctor and explained the situation and she took the girl off her contraceptives starting her on some vitamins and folic acid as well, to help boost her reproductive system. For the next three months or so, it wouldn’t be successful according to the doctor, as Y/N’s body needed to get rid of all the hormones before any baby-making could happen, not that they couldn’t try anyway. 

Two months into this endeavor, they had agreed not to try testing before the three months had passed so they wouldn’t get too anxious about it, not that it was working for Y/N, the brunette was going insane with the wait. So when Juan and his wife asked the pair to look after little Luca for the night as they had a child-free wedding, Enzo and Y/N jumped at the opportunity to try to get as much hands-on experience with a baby as they could before they got their little one.

Leading up to the day they’d be taking baby Luca, Y/N walked in on Enzo reading a parenting blog and trying to understand what he needed to do with him, as she silently approached him from behind kissing his cheek while he sat on the couch she asked “What are you doing my love? reading up on baby care?” The older man looked at his girlfriend blushing a deep shade of red “It’s just that I want to make sure I know what to do with him tomorrow, like, what temperature do babies take their bottles? How will I know when he needs a diaper change? Like he’s my nephew, I need to do a good job, plus I know nothing about babies.” Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at how adorable he looked all worried.

When Saturday rolled around, Juan and his wife dropped Luca off at Y/N and Enzo’s place at around six pm with his diaper bag with all the essentials needed for the night. “Right, so in there are enough diapers to last him like a day, in case there are any emergencies, a couple of clothes changes, and his pjs, his pacifier, and all the bottles he’ll need until we’re back with Camila’s milk in them, you only need to warm them up, and they’re microwave safe” Y/N smiled holding the baby kissing his head “Don’t worry guys, we’ve got you covered, you go have fun, if there’s anything you must know about we’ll make sure to let you know”. As both Juan and Camila kissed their baby’s head and left the brunette turned around rocking the sleeping baby in her arms to look at Enzo “you alright there?” she smiled as he stood frozen holding the bag.

“Yeah..” He replied absentmindedly “It’s just I didn’t ask them how will we know if he’s too hot, or too cold? won’t he need another blanket? what if he doesn’t like the way we change his diaper?” Y/N laughed standing on her tiptoes to plant a loving smooch on the taller one’s lips “As adorable as I find the way you panic, you need to relax baby, you’ll see it’s more intuitive than you think, plus, I’ve changed diapers before, so we’re good” He nodded softly as Y/N went to lay the sleeping infant in the traveling cot they had set up in the guests room for the night turning the monitor on before walking back out. It always amazed Enzo how much of a natural his girlfriend was with kids, they seemed to just be naturally attracted to her like bees to honey were and he loved seeing how much she enjoyed playing with the little ones at all social gatherings they attended.

As the evening went on they found themselves taking turns to play with and hold the baby, Enzo took most of the feedings and Y/N took the diaper changes under the attentive gaze of her boyfriend who wanted to soak up all the knowledge he could on this. Once they had Luca in his pjs Y/N gently paced around their living room after dinner trying to make the baby go down for the night as the raven-haired man laid back on the couch watching her, his eyes never leaving her body as she kept going “come on bubba, I know you’re tired, go to sleep” she pleaded at the whiny, fussy baby as he was overtired.

When he finally gave in to sleep she sat down with him laying on her chest as she rested back against Enzo “Finally, he was so overstimulated he couldn’t even fall asleep” she whispered rubbing his back gently and watching him sleep. Enzo hummed softly as he just looked at her with loving and reflecting eyes “I wish I could be the little man right now” he whispered and smiled at Y/N’s quizzical look “so that I could be laying my face on those perfect boobs of yours, little sucker” he chuckled lowly at her glare “What? You can’t blame me they’re just way too amazing, I would die a happy man in there” Y/N rolled her eyes smiling feeling the warmth grow up her face.

A while later she went to put Luca down in the guest room tucking him in before walking back out to the living room and taking the tea Enzo offered her sitting back down with him “You think they’ll get bigger?” Y/N looked at him “Your boobs, you think they’ll get bigger when you get pregnant? Because if they will, I’m taking you to our room right now and we’re not getting out until we get a little Vogrincic in there” he smirked as she smacked his arm playfully “we can’t tonight Mr. there’s a sleeping baby in our guest room, I won’t be fucking you, not that I don’t want to tho” the hazel-eyed woman said lowly sitting on his lap straddling him stroking his chest playfully.

“Then you’re being especially mean right now because you know what you’re doing” Enzo smirked at her innocent-looking smile “Oh yeah, don’t play innocent, we both know exactly what you’re doing grinding against me like this baby girl” he whispered against the skin on her neck kissing softly going to her soft spot slowly grazing over it with his teeth a shaky breath getting caught in the back of her throat her eyes fluttering closed as he kept kissing up and down her sensitive skin. As she ran her hands through his dark locks she heard the baby start crying and sighed pulling away from Enzo “I’ll get him” Y/N got up and walked to the bedroom picking him up from his crib, checking his diaper before laying him down to change him. As the older man looked at her walk away she sighed this has to be the only downfall of babies he thought running his hands through his hair.

Taglist: @madame-fear @lastflowrr @cyliarys-starlight @castawaycherry @luceracastro @deepinsideyourbeing @koiibiito @espinasrubi @candycanes19 @nperoconelcositoarriba @lxdyred

P.S: If you enjoyed this and want to be tagged in upcoming work, leave a comment down below.

[arabriddler]

Part 4 ( find part 1, part 2, part 3 here )

Punching Edward Nygma was all Oswald needed to pick himself up again. Almost immediately , he pulled up The Penguin mask and began his siege on black gate. Reading the inmates and the guards, creating alliances, looking over deals and business. Heck, he even managed to secure some alcohol! He’s been careful about it, or tried to at least, last time he fell down the rabbit hole his best friend betrayed him and his empire was in ruins. 

It was going as well as it can in Black gate. Except, every night, one image haunted him. The last look Ed gave him. Laid on the floor, looking up at him as Oswald pulled his punches long enough to register the expression.

Empty. Dead. 

It was a shocking look. It shook him enough for the guards to pull him away. 

Despite all the betrayals, his heart ached every-time he remembered that look. He’d known Ed at his best and his worst. Eyes lively and expressive, and if not, they were deep in thought. They always look way ahead, forward, but this time they just… gave up. 

He worried about Ed’s well-being. 

He was always the first to read through the Gotham Gazette newsletter , looking for anything that mentions the riddler. Thankfully, his ex-friend was always there, causing so much terror to Gotham. Oswald understood it was his feelings taking over, unleashing the storm that is Edward Nygma. Ed was mourning, just as he was. 

It hurt. 

One day, Oswald was snuggled up in bed when the alarms bladed loudly. He woke up in alarm and looked around nervously as all the gates opened. Was someone trying to escape? He wasn’t made aware of that. He knows all the going ins and outs of Black Gate. 

Before he could inspect this further, a man barged into his cell. Guard clothes and gun in hand. In the darkness Oswald could barely recognize his face, and before he could even try to comprehend what happened, the man shot at him. He managed to barely dodge the bullet but it lodged itself in his arm. Oswald, despite the pain, was quick to to react and jump on the man to stop him. He managed to push away the gun, but his assailant roughly pressed the bullet wound and used Oswald’s pain to flip him over. 

He waved a knife in hand and slashed Oswald’s right eye. He aimed again, definitely  for a kill this time, but just before he could plunge the knife, he was pulled off him.

Oswald sat dumbfounded as The Riddler himself pinned the man to the floor. He took the knife from his hands and stabbed him, over and over, a feral cold look on his eyes.

As far as he knew, Ed never killed before. Whether that was a lie or he changed in the period they were apart, Oswald wasn’t sure, but it was..enthralling to watch. 

When Ed stopped stabbing the body that was long dead and just a pile of shredded skin and blood by now. He sat there breathing heavily and staring at it. Oswald approached him carefully, as much as he can with the burning in his arm and eye,  but the moment he called out to him and touched his shoulder, Ed turned around rapidly and pinned him to the wall. 

“ why are you here, Edward?” Oswald asked, and it took a couple of times of repeating the question before he got the answer. 

“ This is a planned attack, a couple of GCPD officers wanted to get rid of troublesome inmates, especially if they can operate from within like you.” 

“ That’s a little extreme.” 

“ I made it in time.” 

“ Let me guess, so you’d kill me yourself?” 

“ Yes.” 

Oswald lifted up his chin, giving Ed all the space he wants. 

“ Kill me then.” 

But… Ed didn’t, just as Oswald suspected. He seemed to struggle for a moment, unsure what to do.

“ Why are you really here, Edward?” 

“ I… I don’t know.” 

“ why did you kill that man?”

“ I don’t know!”

Oswald put his hand on Ed’s cheek, faced him openly and asked again,” Why are you here?” 

“ I still love you”. Ed admitted tearfully,” I tried to hate you, I really tried but I couldn’t”. 

“ Edward..”

“ You broke me.” 

“ you broke me as well.” 

It was hard to hear, but it was… true in a sense.  They hurt each other, deeply. Betrayal from your closest friend is bitter, cruel. How could they? 

But Oswald can fix this, if he can… if he can show Ed that he too is… they could go back to how it was, true and honest this time.

The words were too heavy, too hard. Oswald creased Ed’s cheek and leaned in for a kiss, but Ed shoved him away, calling him cruel and heartless for continuing such games. 

“ it’s not a game!” Oswald tried desperately to explain, eyes full of tears,” I fell in love with you. Sometime, someplace. For a long time, I did, and I only realized it too late.” 

“ Stop lying.” 

“ I’m not lying!” 

Oswald tried to touch him again, but Ed pulled away, creating a good distance between them,” I can’t. I just.” 

Ed looked away, and Oswald stared at him, broken and hurt all over.

“ I missed you. “ Oswald admitted,” You were my best friend, my only friend, and I lost you,” 

“ You were my friend as well.” 

“ then can we pretend nothing happened?”

“ we can’t. The scars run too deep.” 

“ how about we move past it? Through it then past it.” 

Ed glanced at him then looked away. Looking at the body and surveying Oswald’s cell before saying,”I’ll break you out of here.” 

Oswald shook his head,” No. I need to complete my sentence.” 

“ but—“

“ I need to come out of here with a clean plate, a clean name. I need to rebuild my brand.” 

“ Okay. Let me at least take you to the infirmary. Stay on guard until I’m sure it’s safe enough.” 

“ thank you. Don’t worry about the body, I have people here to take care of that.” 

In the infirmary, as Ed sat beside him, Oswald reached out to hold his hand. Ed’s hand shook in his grasp. That was definitely his first kill. 

He was thrilled at the thought that Edward Nygma killed a man for him. 

“ I’m sorry.”  

“ I’m sorry too.” 

When he woke up the next day, Edward was gone, like a dream. 

(Next)

[sweetlullabyebye]

ok so during a strangers from hell rewatch i started looking at jongwoo and moonjo's outfits and

i find it pretty interesting how their outfits (well, their shirts) contrast each other so here is my analysis (feel free to disagree) (also i tried to apply it to other characters too but except for seokyoon it didn't work so well):

first time they see each other (first image): moonjo is doing that thing where he tries to pretend like he's 100% normal and getting jongwoo's trust. he got rid of his black jacket that he was wearing earlier in the day, and as you can see, they're both wearing more or less the exact same thing. jongwoo's trust in him is still high

second time: technically the second time they meet they're not wearing clothes, so it's pretty difficult to make a comparison here

third time (second image): i couldn't tell exactly whether moonjo's suit is navy blue something or black, but honestly their shirts' colors aren't too dissimilar. jongwoo still half trusts him, but he definitely doesn't trust him as much as before.

fourth time (third image): this time jongwoo doesn't trust him, moonjo just made the 'do u think it's human meat haha' joke-that-isn't-a-joke, their shirts are not so similar in colors (also their trousers are opposite colors with jongwoo's very light colored trousers and moonjo's black ones)

fifth time (fourth image): moonjo is being a little creep as usual, jongwoo realized that everyone in the building is very very weird, and their clothes are opposite colours (shirts are white/black)

sixth time (fifth image): jongwoo is growing convinced that moonjo is stalking him (and he's right) and he absolutely does not trust him and calls him a creep a few moments later, and their clothes are opposite again (jongwoo has a lighter yellowish white shirt, and moonjo is in all black)

seventh time (sixth image): this time completely opposite, with jongwoo wearing all light cream/grey colored clothes, while moonjo... is in the mood where you just don't want to change your clothes at all, so same as last image. jongwoo is disturbed and does not trust him, as per usual

seventh image (i'm not taking into account moonjo appearing to stalk him wearing his stalking outfit because i'm never sure when those scenes are real or not): actually seok-yoon doesn't appear in the picture, but he wears both jongwoo's white-and-some-red colors, and moonjo's black colors, as he is still in somewhat of in a middleground. jongwoo and moonjo still wear opposite colors, with jongwoo wearing a white shirt with red and blue lines (at least that's what it looks like on my screen), and moonjo is still in all black

eighth image: still the same day, but moonjo changed into a blue-and-white shirt with lines (although jongwoo's lines go - and his go |), as he tries to convince jongwoo to kill people. seokyoon and jongwoo are still wearing the same clothes, but seokyoon doesn't trust moonjo that much anymore, and his black patterns no longer match moonjo's black outfit

ninth image: jongwoo beat up some kids, just like moonjo wanted, congratulations, but jongwoo is very scared of moonjo and even if their buttoned shirts both look dark in this picture, jongwoo's is a lighter blue while moonjo's is a darker brown.

tenth image: jongwoo is scared of moonjo and doesn't want to be near him, is still wearing the blue shirt with blood on it, and moonjo's back in his black outfit

eleventh image: the whole massacre happens, jongwoo is in a dark brown shirt, moonjo is in his black outfit. especially with the lighting in this episode, the colors don't look too dissimilar, as jongwoo becomes a fellow serial murderer.

(also when we see seokyoon again, he is wearing white when jongwoo abandons him, which contrasts with both jongwoo and moonjo's darker clothes)

twelth image: congratulations to moonjo on completing his 1 week masterpiece, they're both in white and we even get the final shot of jongwoo being moonjo

[graneymar]

JUST A FRIEND, PART 2 (Part 1)

SUMMARY: You cut Neymar off after you've come to the realisation that he doesn’t seem to want a serious relationship. The two of you try to move on from one another, but figure out there’s no escaping from your feelings.

WARNINGS: none I think

PAIRING: Neymar x fem!reader (Kylian as your best friend, Sergio as a flirt)

Now that Kylian found out about what was going on between me and Neymar - and me overhearing him saying that he actually does like me - I've been waiting for Ney to open up about his feelings and finally talk to me about it, but it never happened. I didn’t want to be the first one to speak up. I've already broken my best friends trust just to be with him, so I believed he owed me something.

Realising that Neymar wasn’t ready for a serious relationship, or simply didn't want one, while I got more and more attached to him and the little thing we had, I slowly started distancing myself from him. Whenever he called me to come over, I never was able to tell him no before, but knowing I had to get rid of the feelings I developed for him, it was the only right thing to do. So it happened that we haven’t really met in a month now. Yes, I missed him more than anything but I had to stay strong in order to get over my little crush.

Also, after only three weeks of us not seeing each other, he apparently invited his ex, Bruna Biancardi, to stay at his place in Paris. I loved and hated Bruna at the same time. She was a gorgeous woman, a total sweetheart, but she was with the man I wanted so bad.

Kylian and I were chilling on my couch, casually talking and being on our phones, when I clicked on Brunas instagram story, only to see her and Ney watching a movie together in his bedroom. My heart would’ve probably skipped a hundred of beats if I didn’t get used to these images lately. I instantly locked my phone and threw it onto the couch beside me. Kylian moved his head to look at me. "Are you okay?", he asked. I threw the blanket off of me and got up from the couch. "Yeah. I'll do the laundry", I answered. "Have you already washed my hoodie?" Kylian being my best friend meant occasionally having random sleepovers and him always forgetting some kind of clothing - his shirts, hoodies, socks. He always made sure he left something. Half of my closet was his, actually. "It’s in the dryer", I told him as I was collecting clothes around the apartment. "Hey, wanna do a casino night with Ney tomorrow?" Well, now my heart skipped a beat for sure. "With Ney? Why him?" Stupid question, Y/N, stupid question. Kylian shrugged, "Why not?" How was I supposed to get myself out of this situation without admitting I was heartbroken and cried myself to sleep every night over him? "I don’t know, I was just thinking of Achraf earlier and noticed we didn't hang out in ages. How about we ask him to go with us?" I tried to sound as authentic as possible, but Kylian was no one I could lie to. "You're trying to avoid Neymar, aren’t you?" By letting out a soft but desperate chuckle, I tried to hide the the fact that he just caught me. "No? Why would I try to avoid him?" Kylian rolled his eyes at my answer. "Because he’s seeing Bruna again maybe?" I shook my head from left to right. "Couldn’t care less. You know I love her." "Then let’s go with Ney and Bruna." Oh God, I would love to punch Kylian right into his adorable face in this very moment. "Are you insane? I'm not going to hang out with them after what Neymar and I had. It would be disrespectful towards Bru."

"Oh come on, she probably doesn’t even know about it." I crossed my arms in front of my chest and looked at him in disgust. "Do you think her not knowing about it makes it any better? He’s most probably lying to her, saying how much he missed her, talking about how he didn’t have anyone else because he still loves her oh so much, and you want me to simply sit there and support his lies? No Kyks, won't do that." Kylian first furrowed his eyebrows, but started laughing shortly after. "When did you become such a great fan of Bruna?"

"It doesn’t have anything to do with me supporting Bruna, I believe woman should generally respect and support each other whenever they can. Men fuck up our lives already, no need to make it even harder." He remained silent until he quietly gulped and looked me straight in the eyes. "And you’re sure you’re okay with him seeing her and the thing between you two ending?", he finally asked. No, I wasn’t okay, but I didn’t want Kyks to know. Talking about it wouldn’t make it easier anyway. "I'm fine, trust me", I put on a fake smile, "I just wouldn’t want my boyfriend to be around someone he slept with, so I don't want to put Bruna in such a situation."

"Good, as long as you’re alright, I am too", he proudly grinned at me, "Neymar and Bruna are not together though. They're just attempting to get closer again." "Well, hopefully they do", I murmured.

——————————————————————————

Entering the casino, I instantly caught sight of Achraf. He jumped up from his seat and walked towards Kylian and me, hugging the both of us. "I invited some of the boys, I hope you don’t mind", he told us. Of course, the only one I was looking for was Neymar, but I was obviously relieved when he was nowhere to be found. I sat down between Kylian and Sergio as the boys started gambling.

Half an hour and some glasses of champagne later, the boys all decided to use the bathroom, leaving me and Sergio alone. It has probably been just a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity. Sergio and I got along very well, we were joking around and realised we had a lot of similar interests. "I’ll never understand how Kylian decided to be just friends with you", Sergio said, causing me to blush. "We've known each other for forever, we're like brother and sister", I explained. Sergio nodded and smiled, "So, do you think Kylian would be fine with me inviting his 'like a sister' to a date?" My mouth almost fell open, I had a hard time finding the words to respond. "Tomorrow, 7pm, I'll pick you up?", he continued. I hesitatingly nodded as my lips slowly formed a small smile.

The main door swung open and from the corner of my eyes, I saw two figures walk up to us. I turned my head to see who it was and lost my breath the moment Neymar and Bruna stood right in front of me. Neymar eyed me up and down, his gaze eventually got stuck at my thigh, where Sergio casually put his hand on. His facial expression was bloody serious, meanwhile Bruna on the other side shined like the sunshine she was. "Y/N, haven’t seen you in such a long time! How’s life?", she asked and stretched out her arms to hug me. I returned the hug. "Couldn’t be better", I replied, coldly staring into Neymars eyes while still embracing Bruna. He shot me a glare and bit his inner cheek before moving his head to look at Sergio. "What about you? Anything new?", I asked Bru smilingly as I pulled away from her.

Neymar and Bruna sat right across from Sergio and me. I felt Ney watching my every move, especially observing how Sergio and I acted towards each other. I didn’t hear him talking or smile at someone for once at least, he seemed to be absolutely pissed off. No lie, I enjoyed him being mad.

"I'll be back in a minute", I excused myself and walked into the ladys bathroom. Not even five seconds later, I saw Ney coming in. "For ladies only", I simply said, not making an effort to even look at him. "What the fuck do you think you’re doing?", he spoke up. I shrugged before turning my head to him. "I don’t know what you’re talking about."

"You and Sergio. What is going on between you two?", he asked, slowly raising his voice, his brows furrowed. "That’s none of your concern, Neymar." He obviously didn’t expect me to react this way. "I think I have a right to know." I gasped. Who did he think he was? "Where’d you even get that right from? Your ex girlfriend literally has been with you the whole past week and now it is me that owes you an explanation?", I bursted out, my anger level visibly rising. "Have you ever asked yourself why Bruna is even here? First, you cancel all our meetings. Then you're not answering any of my texts and calls. Now I see you being all over Sergio. So yes, Y/N, I expect you to tell me what the fuck made you act this way." I placed myself right in front of Neymar, tilting my head up to look him directly into his eyes. "Bruna being here with you proves that cutting you off was the only right thing for me to do. I was more than wrong when I thought that whatever we had, I don’t even know how to name it, meant the slightest thing to you", I hissed before walking up to the door in order to get out. "How to name it?", he exclaimed and turned around to look at me again. I just wanted to get out, I couldn’t stand being in a room with him any longer, but I felt tears forming in my eyes, causing me to let go of the door knob and listen to his speech. "I'll tell you how I name it, I'll tell you what it meant to me. And it didn’t mean the slightest thing, it meant everything. I've always wanted you, Y/N, always, from the very first day we met. You were the reason I left Bruna. I would’ve never betrayed Kylian the way we did, but to me, it was worth it, 'cause I had you. Because I had you being the first thing I saw in the morning. Because I thanked God every day when I woke up with you in my arms, playing with your hair until you opened your eyes and smiled at me before hiding your face under the blanket. Because I was finally looking forward to come home every day after training, knowing you are there waiting for me. Because I couldn’t stop myself from watching you peacefully sleep every night, not understanding what I did to have someone as perfect as you in my life. Because I love the way your eyes light up when they look into mine; your cute grunt when you laugh too hard; the fact that you still cry after watching Titanic 20 times. Simply because I love everything about you. Simply because I love you, Y/N. Yes, we started our relationship the wrong way, that’s for sure, but I wouldn’t change a thing - expect the situation we are in right now." At this point, endless tears streamed down my face. Tears of joy, of happiness, but also of overwhelmingness. "Please, just say something", he quietly spoke up after seconds of silence. I sobbed before turning around and staring right into these beautiful hazel eyes. Looking at the him made me cry even harder. Finally, I quickly walked up to him and crashed my lips into his. "I love you too, Neymar", I mumbled inbetween the kisses.

[burnwater13]

Cad Bane, standing on a street in Mos Espa, facing Boba Fett in full armor. Image from The Book of Boba Fett, Season 1, Episode 7, In the Name of Honor. Calendar from DateWorks.

Grogu had never met Cad Bane. He wasn't really sorry about that. Sometimes you hear about a person who was very important to a friend or mentor and you think, ‘Wow, I wish I knew them too’. That was the not the case for Cad Bane. 

Grogu had asked Daimyo Fett how he’d met the Duros bounty hunter and the older man hemmed and hawed and finally Fennec Shand replied for him. 

“He was unlucky.”

That pretty much settled the matter. Grogu knew that Fennec had no love lost for Fett’s one time teacher, but since the Daimyo nodded at her words, Grogu learned all he wanted to know. He’d met and spent time with people who had ended up being less a friend and more an enemy over time. He didn’t recommend it. You never really questioned why they turned out to be so awful, but you asked yourself why you didn't see through it all much sooner. 

Grogu might have said that Dr. Pershing was a person like Cad Bane. He was obsessed with what he wanted and thought he was doing the right thing and pursued it pretty relentlessly. But it had all failed and Grogu was happy about that. 

Fennec told him that Pershing was nothing like Cad Bane. 

“Coruscant is riddled with people like that. All hoping that if they could only get the attention of the people in power, they could achieve some ridiculous goal that no one else valued. The people in power called Cad Bane in to do the work that they were afraid to do themselves. Bane wasn't afraid of anything and that’s why the Daimyo is here and Bane is buried in the bantha paddock.”

Grogu was surprised at that. He didn't know why, but it seemed pretty odd. 

“That’s where I put all the… stuff I don’t want people like your pal Pershing to use for cloning projects. Trust me, if I’d had my way, Moff Gideon would have never had another chance to go after you or your dad. He would have ended up as fertilizer for the rancor’s favorite plants.”

Wow. Grogu had always know that Fennec was a very straightforward person with great tactical skills and a first class strategic mind, but he forgot how nuanced she could be. She was kind of the opposite of Cad Bane. 

When he first met Fennec, Grogu was kind of worried about having another master assassin in his life. IG-11 had been very effective at that work and as person who generally thought that all life was good, it was quite a challenge to have friends who made a living at ending lives. Even if those people were volunteers according to his dad. 

But the more time he spent with Fennec, the more Grogu realized that she didn't just end people. She solved problems. If she could do that without ending the person, then fine. Take those Nikto gang members. She didn’t pick them all off during some sort of clean up operation after they had dealt with the Scorpenek annihilator droids. She just got rid of the ring leaders and that sent a message more effectively than a complete blood bath would have. At least that's what his dad told him. 

The Mandalorian was very impressed with the levels of restraint that Fennec had displayed. Considering the Mandalorian view of enemies, Grogu figured that Fennec had displayed the patience of a Jedi Master. 

“Buddy, I don't think you want to tell her that. I’m not sure she reveres the Jedi as much as you do.”

But Din Djarin was wrong about that. Fennec had told him once that she never got involved in the problems that included the Jedi.

“Listen kid, the whole point of the work I do is to solve problems. If I’m not solving the problem, I don't get paid. The whole point of the Jedi was to solve the same problems I was generally assigned to resolve, but they had access to weapons I could never bring to bear. There’s no such thing as a fair fight which is why I don’t take risks like that. The Jedi always had an advantage, so I found other problems to solve. That’s why I’m still here and a lot of other folks aren’t.”

Fennec hadn’t been smug about that either. She hadn’t pointed out that the Jedi had been almost entirely wiped out. She didn’t say ‘I told you so’ or anything like that. She had patted her midsection where her mods were and that’s what convinced Grogu that she and the Daimyo were nothing like Cad Bane. Boba Fett had gone out of his way to save her. And she had stuck around to help him solve problems on Tatooine. 

This was definitely the way.

[alicentflorent]

how would you change the writing for Alicent in season 2 if you had the chance?

I’d have to go back to season 1 episode 8 (post driftmark) to have her characterisation and development make sense because 1x08 - 2x02 Alicent is pretty inconsistent and all over the place as if you’ve had different writers writing their own version of her and poorly putting it all together.

After driftmark, although she apologised for almost harming lucerys, a child. Her resentment for Rhaenyra and Viserys grows. Finally Rhaenyra confirmed what Alicent feared, that her children would be in danger and Viserys has proven for the final time that he won’t protect their children, he’ll never treat his second family as equals to his first. Even she lives in Emma’s shadow as Aegon lives in Balon’s.

Alicent has to take matters into her own hands to protect her children and this realisation leads to the formation of the green council. Instead of becoming even more ingrained in her faith she struggles with it, she knows she’s breaking her vows and going against duty and honour when she starts plotting to usurp Rhaenyra.

She also struggles to deal with how Aegon turns out (which did happen in canon. He terrifies her but he’s a monster of her own creation and she needs him ready to take the throne for the sake of all her children and grandchildren.

When she tells Rhaenyra “you’ll make a fine queen” bitch is lying, she wants Rhaenyra to feel security after she watched Rhaenyra order the death of vaemond velaryon for the sake of her own children. Alicent needs to play the game if she wants to take Rhaenyras throne out from under her. Rhaenyra won’t let it go so easily.

When viserys calls her “Rhaenyra, my only child” this is when Alicent snaps. She’s continued to be a dutiful wife and cared for him as he got sicker, she even tolerated being called aemma over the years but now he thinks Rhaenyra is caring for him? Rhaenyra who didn’t visit in 6 years? And not only that, he thinks of her as his only child. “I gave you four healthy children who you ignored, I cared for you, I was loyal to you and you now you can’t even remember our names?!” - Alicent leaves the room upset, comforted by criston. There is no misunderstanding of prophecies. When she is later woken by the news of viserys death, this is when the green council is revealed. When Alicent sits at the head of the table and announces viserys it’s revealed that she’s been actively plotting for years. She announces Aegon is the new king.

Episode 9 probably goes about the same but we see more tension building with Cole as a widowed Alicent still struggles with her faith and who she really is outside of being a wife and a mother. When Larys tries to blackmail her she pulls rank because she’s still the dowager queen and can have his before he speaks a word against her. Alicents final scene of the season is still the same.

Season 2 so far: b&c happens similarly to how it does in the books, Alicent is still in the scene itself (but it’s focused on helaena). We see the moment when Alicent gives into her desires and decides to do something for herself. We get clarity on how how their relationship started after seeing them slowly get closer over the years rather than it just being “so these two religious sexually repressed hypocrites are fucking now”. Alicent and Criston also start scheming to get rid of Otto when she realised she’s just a pawn after being undermined in front of the council

Episode 2: we see her grieve as her crisis of faith returns. It’s jahaerys that she lights a candle for not Lucerys. She still struggles to comfort her own kids and the episode is very much focused on how everyone grieves differently and how the poison of politics and self image is destroying them from the inside. They don’t know how to come together to mourn like the blacks did. They each grieve alone and the only time we see them interact is when Otto is exploiting their trauma for PR and this is also causes conflict within the family. The episode is written in a way that has you empathising with each of them to an extent - it has a similar vibe to the aftermath of Logan Roy’s death. The siblings grieving in different ways both coming together and then pushing each other away as their team are already coming up with PR strategies and focusing on the company and their profits and which grieving child is the best asset etc they really could have as their own version of the Roy’s with the throne as the waystar/royco equivalent. Also they really should have cut down on the Rhaenyra scenes in that episode. The first two episodes as a whole need fixing because every character got screwed.