#I never claimed otherwise

[windandwater]

I have to rewrite the entire damn intro of this megafic again for two reasons: 1. it sucks, 2. I need to more explicitly show Thranduil being a shitty dad

I've learned in this process that my playlist for this fic has progressed hilariously. in the beginning it's like:

Counting Crows - If I Could Give All My Love

Elton John - I Guess That's Why They Called It The Blues

Elton John - Philadelphia Freedom

Rod Stewart - Rhythm Of My Heart

Abba - Mama Mia

Keane - On The Road

the two bolded ones are because I absolutely could not have written this fic without them (I don't know! don't ask me! it is what it is!)

then we transition into just a shitload of sea shanties & folk music, like I was not kidding when I said my Legolas character playlist is just sea shanties, featuring these standouts:

Cape Cod Girls (multiple versions)

Santiana (multiple versions)

Here's a Health to the Company (multiple versions)

The Longest Johns - Oak & Ash & Thorn, Bonny Ship the Diamond

The Dreadnoughts - Joli Rouge

Pandas & People - Out to Sea

also around this time we get into the section that carried the romance part of this fic, aka without Orville Peck & The Amazing Devil I would be nothing, here are the two songs that carried the fic:

Orville Peck - Drive Me, Crazy

The Amazing Devil - Inkpot Gods

sorry but these two songs invented romance

sea shanties & these absolute legends carried me through Return of the King / You Shall Come With Me, but now we're in the "it's time to go home" part and I never would have predicted this but the song of the journey home?

........

you're going to laugh your ass off at me

John Denver - Country Roads

OKAY LISTEN SHUT UP

the playlist also looks like this:

The Parting Glass (6 versions) (shut UP)

The Langer's Ball - Fields of Athenry

Peter Hollens - Shenandoah (only one version of this song because I can't listen to it without crying)

John Denver - Wild Montana Skies

if you would've asked me, I would've said my fic doesn't include any of the "Legolas is a redneck" headcanons that I absolutely adore but apparently my subconscious fucking disagrees

anyway if anyone wants me to eventually turn this into the most batshit writing playlist ever, I'll do it, I'll expose myself, I don't care

[skywalkr-nberrie]

One of the biggest arguments I’ve seen used by the Ob*d*l*s against Anidala, is that scene in the ROTS novel where Padmé says she could trust OW with the secret of the rebellion and was hesitant to tell Anakin and I just wanna say:

Padmé wasn't an idiot. She was an extremely intelligent and competent woman, perfectly able to understand that loving Anakin and thinking that he could be trusted with a certain politic-related matter were two very different things and reducing her choice regarding who to trust with an important political matter only on the basis of her feelings of romantic love diminishes her professionalism, and this is why I say y'all could never understand her.

Padmé didn’t have to "love" OW or even like him at all to know he was the perfect Jedi to ask for help in a secret political matter.

That's the point being made in the novel, she’s hit with the realization that Anakin in this particular moment could not be told this piece of info because of his relationship with Palpatine, and Padmé specifically mentions in the Junior ROTS novel that she didn't want to make Anakin “keep a secret” if he didn’t agree with their stance because it’d be “unfair.” So this also played a part in why Padmé didn’t think it best to inform Anakin about the Rebellion. It honestly had little to do with her actually lacking trust in him, and more to do with the circumstances she was in not allowing her to be open with her husband and her not wanting to make him choose between his wife and his “father figure.”

However, Padmé knows OW’s political ideas aren't tied to ONE particular person but to a philosophy, one which is closer to her own, at that point. None of this was ever meant to be hinted as “romantic” or even remotely insinuated as romantic. It’s strictly professional and even the tone of the scene makes that so abundantly clear.

All I’m saying is that, some of these proshippers are doing the most out here to try and prove their ship, like my loves? You forgot a very important thing called ✨ context ✨ and regardless of her rational thinking, Padmé still went out of her way to try and talk out all of this Rebellion secrecy stuff with Anakin when she confronted him in the scene where she asks if he ever thought they were “fighting on the wrong side.” Padmé didn’t trust OW in the same way she trusted Anakin (with her entire self and being) she had the level of trust and love for Anakin that was only meant for him.

Mixing up her unwavering faith in Anakin as her husband with her trust in OW’s devotion to duty as her comrade/ally is purposely deluding yourself, because the two aren’t the same and therefore can’t be compared. An example of this is: Padmé constantly putting more value to Anakin’s words over OW’s in the end of ROTS when he came to tell her of Anakin’s “crimes”. She completely disregarded what OW had claimed about her husband and instead made her way to where Anakin was herself, to ask him directly. Despite what the truth was, this is proof of her trusting Anakin unconditionally, and I didn’t even think I had to spell that out because it’s as clear as day.

In conclusion, Padmé didn’t trust OW more than Anakin, she just knew the circumstances she was in didn’t exactly make it easy for her to openly talk with her husband about these matters and that’s part of what played into the issues they had in ROTS, it’s exactly what Sidious wanted.

[quesadilla-day]

so about that new outfit... (～￣▽￣)～

[bunabi]

I think Solas is a bad person insofar as him choosing to do things that will obviously reaffirm his pained world view and making that choice everyone's fault but his own

All interpretations are fine but that's my takeaway and I find him so interesting for that idk ever stop to look at a weird bug on the ground

[backmarkerr]

please....can u speak on the conspiracy

So the conspiracy (more like a theory, really) is that Kimi was pushed out of the team starting in 2008 to make way for Fernando, who was more appealing to the big sponsor coming in. Before you click out thinking "Max, that's stupid, no team would throw a championship for a sponsor." I agree! But keep in mind that they didn't throw the championship, they fully expected to win the WDC with Felipe (and almost did) and did in fact win the WCC in 2008 with Felipe and Kimi despite everything. But there were really suspicious things going on. So with that in mind...

It's 2008. Kimi has just won Malaysia, the second race of the season. Three days after his win, there's this:

.

Ok, kinda weird, but whatever. F1 runs on rumours, right? Suggesting that Kimi might retire when he's doing so well is silly. And in the article they seem to be pretty ambivalent over whether it would be Felipe or Kimi to leave.

Fast forward to Spain two races later. Kimi scores his second win of the season and takes the championship lead. The season is shaping up pretty well for the defence of the title, you’d think this would be a good time for him, but again, the story du jour is Ferrari wanting Alonso in Kimi’s seat for 2009.

[x] I guess now we know at least Massa's seat is secure...?

If you’re like me, that sounds stupid. The reigning champion just won the last GP and his contract runs until the end of 2010, so this media narrative makes no sense. Something pretty catastrophic would have to happen for that to ever come to fruition, right?

So anyway, he gets a first row start in Monaco. Great, that's almost a surefire win/points, right? Wrong, he got a drive-through penalty due to the team not fitting the wheels to the car on time before the race start. Not a great race and he ends up outside of the points. Lewis is now ahead in the WDC by 3 points. Not really a disaster, but...

[x] what on earth...

[x] again the talk of retirement.... I mean, it's weird, right?

Zero points in Canada due to being rear-ended in the pitlane, which the team can’t control. Then he’s back to being neck to neck with his teammate and Lewis by the time the British GP is done in early July, with all three drivers on 48 points. Good news, right? Just gotta stay on track and not fuck it up somehow.

[x] sigh... (this one's a little harder to source as it was printed media, but I've seen this exact interview quoted in different pages)

So anyway, they change his front suspension for the next race in Germany. Kimi has always been very sensitive to changes in the car, so he knew something was wrong. Ferrari (via Michael, who was then head of development) say he's just not adapting well to the upgrades. Maybe, sure, but why aren't you bringing upgrades that are geared towards your world champion?

(an interesting remark from Mark Hughes here if you scroll down to the comments, which adds weight to Kimi not being listened to when it came to car development in 2008)

Bar a podium in Hungary, Kimi scores 0 points in 4 out of the next 5 races. It takes until either Monza or Singapore (hello crashgate!) for Ferrari to put his suspension back as it was.

He proceeds to get 3 podiums in the remaining 3 races but it’s not enough to catch up. By Singapore he was already 27 points behind his teammate (reminder this is the old points system) and very much expected to play the supporting role. In the penultimate race in China he very obviously gave up P2 to his teammate:

"I know what the team expects." [x] / [x]

Yet the narrative in the media and from Ferrari themselves is that his motivation is bad and he's not assertive. It was so pervasive that to this day people still parrot it and say he just didn’t care after 2007, despite Kimi always stating he was fully committed and clearly getting annoyed whenever journalists asked about his motivation even years later.

Montezemolo at the end of 2008 even 'joked' that "Kimi in the recent races was replaced two or three times by a friend, but next year he'll be back." Basically saying that Kimi wasn't really present, you know? An interesting thing to say when this absent driver scored 18 points in the last 3 races (three consecutive P3s), while the one who was amazing and had the team's full backing scored 20 (P7, P2, P1).

A whole 2 points' difference, maybe someone should hire that "friend"...

So why did they do this?

Well, the theory is that Santander (I promise this isn’t like the dumb Sainztander takes) wanted a Spanish-Brazilian lineup due to financial interests (Spanish bank, big market in South America with a looming IPO in Brazil), so Kimi was basically being pressured out of the team from early 2008 onwards. Like I said at the start, the team weren’t really throwing away 2008, as they expected to win the WCC with both drivers (they did) and Massa to be able to win the WDC, which would of course be beneficial for their new sponsor. And he almost did. Almost.

[x] they're not in charge of driver selection but this specific driver line-up would good for them. (this archived copy of the article is from 2010, but the text makes it clear it's from 2009)

Of course at this point we have to wonder if a team like Ferrari would bow down to a sponsor's demands. I can't tell you what the internal considerations were or how much money was on the line, but it's also not like Santander were telling them to get rid of Kimi for a bad driver, you know? Fernando is a great driver, so from Ferrari's perspective they were just trading a great driver for another great driver who also appealed to this huge sponsor, and an Alonso-Massa line-up would be solid. And with the previous talk that Ferrari and Alonso had already inked a deal in 2008... It's just difficult to believe there isn't a grain of truth here.

So the alleged initial plan of having Alonso in 2009 was foiled when Kimi activated the renewal option in his contract. It was then that he was bought out of his last year (apparently paid for by Santander).

[from the book The Unknown Kimi Raikkonen]

As we can see, by the end Kimi was also fed up with what was going on, especially people pointing the finger at him and at his motivation, and his frustration is very clear in interviews like here at 2.35 and here:

Publicly, Ferrari said they wanted someone more in line with how Michael used to be (ironic since Montezemolo allegedly didn’t like how Michael made the team his), who could communicate with the team and give better feedback (ironic when Todt, Dyer, Stella and others said Kimi was very clear and precise.) Kimi himself has always stated that he wasn’t the issue, that his motivation was never lacking and that the real reason he was pushed out was politics and money.

[x]

[x]

If it had only been the mechanical stuff, I’d be willing to chalk it up to just bad luck and incompetence. Shit happens. But with all the rumours around it even before things went bad on the track and Kimi stating that his work and performance weren't the reason he was let go it becomes impossible for me to think there wasn’t an actual push going on to replace him.

Hell, even famed Ferrari fanboy Sebastian Vettel didn't think it was realistic for Kimi to return to Ferrary in 2014 precisely because Kimi isn't one for "bullshit" and "politics". Why would he choose to say that specifically? And according to Finnish media Kimi’s 2014 Ferrari negotiations included Montezemolo personally apologising to him. Now why would he apologise if they hadn’t done something wrong?

Personally I think Kimi's "certain people did certain things" refers to this. He never trashed anyone and always said he had no ill-feelings. And I believe him. But it doesn't mean nothing happened, lest we forget how well he handled Lotus not paying him.

The thing that really bothers me is that Kimi got the reputation for having low motivation and not caring about what he was doing (I heard that take just last month from an F1 youtuber, how Fernando was hired in 2010 because Kimi had mentally checked out 🙄), when obviously someone who wasn’t motivated and didn’t care would have simply called it quits under these circumstances. Instead he got P3 in the standings in 2008 (I know he’s talented, but he must have been trying at least a little), trained hard to lose enough weight to use KERS in 2009 (why would he do that if he didn’t care) and took the team’s only win that year despite the car being shit. Interestingly, pundits acknowledged his good performance complicated things when it came to Ferrari’s rumoured hiring of Alonso. So imagine how much more complicated things would have been had Kimi done better in 2008?

Anyway, this is long, but if you want something longer then I definitely recommend this post here. You might not agree completely with the original authors (there are parts where I wish there was more info), but I think they offer a lot of good research and information regarding the overall situation back in 2008/2009, and it's a good jump-off point for your own research.

But yeah. 2008 could have been everything. Or at least better.

[macbethz]

I think it’s very interesting that, in America at least, because of tremendously effective anti-smoking education in the span of a generation cigarettes went from this icon of Americana to an indicator of addiction, to be treated the same way society at large treats addicts in general, which is with disgust and social pariahhood.

I have to put the mandatory disclaimer here because tumblr functions like a sneaky genie looking for loopholes in your posts to get mad at but like yes anti smoking education good smoking bad etc. However I think because it is so tied to how American culture treats addiction and morality it has led to this vast cultural divide where nonsmokers view smokers as nonhuman entities worthy of death and lung cancer who are just trying to poison everyone around them like cartoon villains. This discourages smokers from interacting with nonsmokers, and they retreat to smoking spaces where they only encounter other smokers and thus don’t really have a clear path to quitting if they choose too. It really is the same as every other drug.

There’s also a heavier stigma around smoking than vaping even though their differences may be negligible simply because the symbolic associations with the cigarette object itself are so much more strongly embedded. Anyway stop making so many stupid posts abt cigarettes on tumblr dot com so I stop thinking about cigarette semiotics please

[e-louise-bates]

I will admit that it never occurred to me that I would need to check the history book that claimed to be scholarly to see if it used references and footnotes, because how could a book be a scholarly work on history without such things, BUT NOW I KNOW BETTER.

[fromtheseventhhell]

No offense but trans-masc/trans-man headcanons about Arya are so incorrect, I'm sorry. I can't even take them seriously considering this fandom's desire to separate Arya from girlhood/womanhood. I would love it if people would stop trying to divorce female characters (and real women) from their identities as women just because they aren't traditionally feminine.

If we're talking about actual good-faith interpretations, ones that actually work with how Arya is written, then trans-femme is a much better fit. Arya has never had the desire to be a boy or be seen as one, she is fiercely insistent on her identity as a girl and corrects people several times, she doesn't consider herself a "real" Lady because she's not one in the same way her mother and sister are (!!!), she has self-esteem issues from her looks and ability to perform feminine tasks, she actually spends time pretending to be a boy but never considers herself one or enjoys doing it, as time progresses she loses the ability to pass as a boy (!!!), etc. Look at the material!! There's so much there to discuss from that perspective! Arya's non-conformity and how that fits into a society with such strict gender norms is fascinating and there's a lot to discuss there, but calling her trans-masc is one of the laziest interpretations to come up with.

[infiniteglitterfall]

Palestinians to platform, part 1

مؤمن الناطور / Moumen Al-Natour

@MoumALnatour

رئيس الشباب الفلسطيني للتنمية / President of Palestinian Youth for Development

Moumen Al-Natour is amazing. Not only does he run a Palestinian youth organization that is doing great work in Gaza, but he's also one of the organizers of the 2019 anti-Hamas protests.

Even to criticize Hamas, in Gaza, means to be interrogated, and potentially jailed, tortured, and/or killed. To actively protest Hamas is many times more dangerous.

To have survived that work and continued doing it? I cannot imagine the emotional strength this dude has.

Here's what Center for Peace Communications (another great organization) has said about him:

So many Palestinians, in or from Palestine, are out there talking about what everyday life in Gaza is like. About Hamas, about Israel, about what they want and what they need, about their struggles and their interests and their families.

My goal, in finding people for you to follow and platform, is to help more voices get out of Gaza after years of suppression, and to help more outsiders (like me) connect with them.

People care SO MUCH about Palestine. But frequently, all there is to share is outrage, semi-accurate news, and more outrage. Frequently, we're not calling for the same things they are. We call for a ceasefire; they demand Hamas return the hostages and surrender. We call for Israel to let aid in; they say Israel is letting the aid in, but it's being stolen, and call for air drops rather than trucks. We call for Israel to stop fighting; they say they hope Israel takes Hamas out first.

We aren't centering their voices and experiences. We aren't lending our reach and our strength to their demands.

I want to make that possible.

Ala Mushtaha, the son of this imam, evidently said, “On Saturday December 30, our front door was busted down and twenty masked men barged in and took my father, a widely respected and deeply learned imam here in Gaza."

“One dragged him by his head and another grabbed him by his beard. My younger brother tried to intervene and reason with the kidnappers, but they beat him. I have a medical condition that makes it hard for me to breathe, so all I could do was watch as the horror unfolded.

“He wouldn’t preach what Hamas told him to. He refused to tell Gazans that violent resistance and obedience to Hamas, is the best way out of our current hell.”

ok this dude needs his own post honestly, he goes on to say so much intense stuff about their lives.

OMG his dad was actually released!

This is what I'm talking about. This is effective activism. Imagine what all these people could do if they had the entire global pro-Palestinian movement behind them.

Al-Natour posts a fair amount of political commentary.

The "we want to live" hashtag is a callback to the amazing "We Want To Live" protests he co-organized against Hamas, in Gaza in 2019, and again in the summer of 2023. Activist Hamida Howidzy (who will also be getting a separate post) wrote about them in Newsweek recently.

Some things he posts in Arabic and then in English. Some of his posts are in Arabic only. In the thread above, he actually posted a couple more that were just in Arabic, presumably aimed at Arabic-language comments.

What I like about Twitter is that you can whack the "translate post" button and get a pretty decent translation most of the time.

Translation:

"I saw all the responses... What is wrong and forbidden in reuniting the West Bank, Gaza and Jerusalem through elections in which the people choose who will represent them??!?? Why are all the responses offensive...a collaborator, a traitor, and contain insults that indicate that whoever wrote them needs restructuring?! What prevents us, after ending the war, from returning our choice and choice to the Palestinian people?!+

"Everyone wrote that I opened??!! how did you know???!! Stopping the war is the most important thing now... Whoever sees the condition of the people and feels all this is easy for him does not have humanity, and is not a human being... Whoever, after the destruction of more than 80% of Gaza and the North, and still writing in a way that wants the war to continue while he lives abroad, should reconsider. He accepted to live the same suffering!++"

Note: I copied the "I opened" bit and threw it into Google Translate separately, because that cannot be right. It still insisted that it meant "I opened".... but it gave me the transliterated words, "ani fatah."

Everyone wrote that he's Fatah -- the party that runs the West Bank, the one Hamas violently kicked out of Gaza in 2007-08.

"The end of my speech... I know... whoever is not with you is a traitor and an agent... shameful... by God, by God, by God... there will be an account[ing] for all of this talk... so that you understand the word agent... and the account will be through a government of law... It is clear that there are many who benefit from the poverty and destruction of Gaza, and they must be held accountable according to the law.

"Have mercy on people with your tongues"

The comment on that one is noteworthy:

"Yes, whoever is not with the resistance is indeed a traitor, and those who must be held accountable are the traitors, agents, hypocrites, liars, and racists who slander the resistance and who want to hold it accountable only because it fights the enemy of humanity and defends truth and the oppressed. If you want to apply the law, apply it to yourselves first."

It highlights how much of what we hear in the West is Hamas propaganda. That's a whole other post too. But Hamas claims to be "the resistance," to "defend truth and the oppressed," while arresting people who refuse to preach its propaganda. While jailing and torturing someone 20 times for organizing a protest.

Which are the exact tactics that make it so easy for their propaganda to reach us . And so hard for us to even know that there has been an entire protest movement against Hamas in Gaza, much less to support its activists.

I'll just cut and paste the translations from his most recent thread, above. All emphasis is mine:

"When demonstrations took place in Israel demanding that Netanyahu stop the war and free the hostages, Al Jazeera and Hamas considered it a victory and an achievement, and that the Israeli government was under pressure. But what is striking is that these demonstrations were not suppressed. They were secured. The hostage issue and public pressure were dealt with professionally.

"The demonstrations that took place in Gaza demanding an end to the war and the return of the displaced...they were classified as suspicious [by Al Jazeera etc] ...even though the displaced Israeli lives in a 5-star hotel and has the privileges of the displaced, and when the Palestinian displaced in Gaza receives help, he needs a mediator, and if he wants a tent, he needs leadership intervention, and if he does not have the mediator And the intervention wants to scratch his pocket..+++

"Why did Israel allow demonstrations and look pressured, always trying to contain everything... while we have a displaced person lost, homeless, and no one is trying to contain him, and when he talks, they call him a fifth column???"

Last month, he posted about pregnancy in wartime. Note the cost of the tent later in this thread! Numerous Palestinians have posted about humanitarian aid getting stolen -- by Hamas, by NGOs, by others -- and sold on the black market. Food and tents especially get mentioned a lot. Everyone mentions the tents are being sold for more than (the equivalent of) $700, even though they were supposed to be free.

I'll leave you with this one for now:

You can read all the posts in this series in my "platform palestine" tag.

[aeide-thea]

guy who’s only ever lived in the current era: [phenomenon] sure seems unique to the current era!

[vintageseawitch]

happy Labor Day! just a reminder that it was leftists who got us the weekend. it's leftists who give us unions & keep them strong.

the federal minimum wage hasn't risen from $7.25 in well over a decade. the main culprit? Republicans of course, & too many people that are in a union are Republican.

Republicans HATE unions nowadays. rich people are so far up their asses they've become living meat puppets for them. rich people don't care about a happy population; they want to get rich at our expense. people blame the president for the high cost of living, such as groceries, when this is actually a global issue & companies have openly stated they were the ones who were price gouging.

it's rich people behind the scenes & they're a massive reason why Project 2025 is a real threat. they want to take away 40 hour work weeks & turn them into 160 hours work months. they will take away the right to get paid for working overtime (page 592). they want to ban unions for public service workers (page 82), make it easier for private companies to decertify unions (page 603), & allow states to opt out of federal labor laws (page 605).

a SCOTUS justice (Thomas) has expressed they he thinks OSHA needs to go. some states like Arkansas have allowed child labor with limited safety & legal measures. they want to take away so many workers' rights that have been so hard fought for & earned. OSHA became a thing because of so much bloodshed. people are going to die from these but it's okay because these rich people who do so much for us will be getting paid more while not being required to even pretend we are human beings.

are you gonna be like the rednecks of old? who gave such a shit for their fellow workers that they literally fought to protect them all? do you really believe rich people are good for us? they don't care at all. they need us more then we need them. even with their power, they're scared in the back of their pathetic little greedy minds. they exhaust us on purpose. Project 2025 is going to make so many aspects of our lives hell & they will not only do nothing about the conditions now to improve our way of life but they fully intend to make it WORSE.

they will force people to stay married & make babies they can't afford while offering no help whatsoever. they want working conditions to be lethal again. they want us to be wage slaves. how can anyone want this? you think it's horrible now? why risk this??

please don't stop talking about Project 2025 or Agenda 47. they're the same plan & the reason why trump doesn't talk about policy is because Project 2025 IS his policy. he's only in this to stay out of prison. he doesn't give a shit what kind of evil, insane people will be doing in the background to fuck us all over. the rest of the world is watching us nervously, hoping he won't be president again. it won't ve good on a domestic OR international level. this is a dangerous time.

please check your registration status often & vote early if you can. encourage friends & family. make a day of it! don't wait until three last minute but be careful out there, too. if it's not voting issues they'll cause people might get violent. ladies, if you're with a Republican partner but you're scared to vote for Harris... please know that your vote is private & you can pretend you're doing something else in order to get it done. stay registered Republican just to be safe. we got this 💙

[a-lil-strawberry]

Please pray that a complicated billing situation will be sorted out and covered by my insurance. It's for an ambulance ride I had in June for a panic attack. Some of you might remember me panicking about it a few months ago when I got the statement.

[hussyknee]

So. Anyone else feeling a little unhinged rn?

[xumoonhao]

i ❤️ svt member web badges ver. 1 / ver. 2

[bigskydreaming]

X-Fans often joke - especially since Bobby came out - about how Alex and Bobby's history of hating each other's guts (and having very dramatic fights and sniping passive aggressively and also aggressively at each other at every opportunity etc etc) was never actually about Lorna, and that it was always just unrequited sexual tension and a complete inability to handle that well.

And like, its not that I CAN'T see it, its that I just think it would be way more amusing to have Alex have a similar impression of his dynamic and history with Bobby, and come out too at some point and tell him this and like. Bobby just looks at him blankly and is like yeah, sorry, I just legit never liked you. Congrats on coming out though, I guess.

Alex: Oh. Well. Thanks, I guess?

Bobby: I'm not a MONSTER, like yeah I still think you're a tool, but I fucking hate Avalanche's guts and I can still think its great that he's always been so committed to Pyro. I can support my community without having to like every individual in it, y'know, kinda like how we and a ton of other mutants get together regularly to punch each other in the face but that doesn't mean -

Alex: What are you talking about? Avalanche and Pyro aren't together.

Bobby: Wait, really? Damn, when did they break up?

Alex: They've never been together! Avalanche is straight!

Bobby: ....are you sure? Wait, are we talking about the same Avalanche and Pyro? There are two of each, and they actually get mixed up a lot, trust me, I've made that mistake before.

Alex: I'm talking about the original Avalanche. Dominikos Petrakis.

Bobby: And you think he's straight.

Alex: I mean I don't know for sure, obviously, but I do know that he's never claimed to be otherwise and he and Allerdyce have never actually been an official couple.

Bobby: Huh. Well this is awkward now.

Alex: IT WASN'T AWKWARD BEFORE??

Bobby: Well yeah, I mean, Allerdyce kept trying to hook up with me when we were on the Marauders together and I kept shooting him down and it turned into this whole thing. Now I'm realizing he must have thought I was being judgy about him having been a supervillain before when I was really just being judgy about like....I thought he was trying to cheat on his husband with me! Y'know? Ugh and we're having a Marauders reunion next month, that's gonna be so....wait, why did YOU think this was awkward?

Alex: Idk, maybe because you'd basically told me you hate my guts and have never liked me?

Bobby: I'VE LITERALLY SAID THAT TO YOU EVERY TIME WE'RE IN THE SAME ROOM SINCE WE WERE BOTH 17, AND VICE VERSA! THIS IS NOT NEW INFORMATION ALEX!

Alex: I know that! But I just told you that I didn't actually mean it and was just saying that because I was repressed!

Bobby: Well I mean, I can see why that part would be awkward for YOU, sure.

Alex: ....

Bobby: It's not my fault I meant it. What, should I have told you oh hey cool, btw, I never actually disliked you either? How's that gonna help the next time you annoy the fuck out of me and I act annoyed because you being gay is cool and all but doesn't mean I suddenly find you less annoying??

Alex: Well its not like coming out gave YOU a personality upgrade either! You know what, you're impossible. Wow. Okay. Fuck you too, Drake, I just - ugh. You're such an asshole!

Bobby: ....

Alex: WHAT?

Bobby: Okay but you meant it that time, right?

Alex: OBVIOUSLY.

Bobby: No, NOT obviously, OBVIOUSLY! I'm just trying to make sure I should take that as you can't stand me, I can't stand you, great, we're both on the same page here, excellent communication, good work us, or like......is this aiming for a hatesex kinda thing? Because if the latter, I get that, I have like, six different hatesex buddies slash nemeses on various other teams right now but I'm just....not feeling it so I want to make sure that us not liking each other doesn't mean hatesex is on the table automatically....

Alex: Okay great talk, thanks so much, yeah let's definitely keep this conversation going, I really REALLY want to drag this out further now. Ha ha this is for sure the most fun I've had while being gay so far!

Bobby: I AM JUST. SEEKING. CLARIFICATION.

[myersesque]

whenever ppl accuse me of being cool i have to bring up that one time my secondary school english teacher asked us to write a letter to romeo from juliet and i hadn't finished by the end of the lesson bc i decided to write it in full fucking early modern english and spent half an hour clarifying the differences between thou, thy, thee, and thine