#I need to see a psychiatrist
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if the target audience of house was middle-aged cishet dudebros then why are all the promo shots of him so sexually compelling to me personally. like what feelings are these meant to evoke other than “I need to fuck that old man or so help me god”
#I’m a little tipsy rn and I think I hauv covid…#that pic of him in the vicodin bath is making me feel the same way I assume playboy mag enjoyers feel#I need that printed out above my bed#like. WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!!! [jerks off and dies]#house md#greg house#gregory house#hatecrimes md#hugh laurie#the only other fictional male character I have been this viscerally attracted to (as opposed to just gender envious/admiration)#is nbc hannibal lecter#that’s two evil gay doctors. is that my niche kink or something.#I need to see a psychiatrist#or not. considering that I might nut
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you know how a prey animal bolts off when you freak it out? that's how I feel mentally right now
#its 3am and boy im. getting paranoid#i really need to see#is it a psychiatrist? a mental health doctor? i yhink its a psychiatrist#i need to see a psychiatrist
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im going fucking crazy holy shit
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Idc what the outcome will be but I'll probably need the motivation
If this post gets:
350 notes: I'll start properly writing the Vigilante AU that I'm struggling to do
500 notes: I'll start to clean my household that's dusty af
1000 notes: I'll start studying for my Journalism(I have to catch on a lot hwlp)
2000 notes: I'll start art studying more on the face
3000 notes: I'll start actually exercising the whole week(I've been needing to take vitamins because of how much I just sit and struggle to do something with my body)
4000 notes: I'll start actually studying for my school
5000 notes: I'll try stopping the voices in my head that says that all my injuries/suffering are just little and actually start trying to ask for help more
10000 notes: I'll go and fight my trauma and start trying to cook more food other than rice and eggs because I still remember that fire back when I was around 5(It's funny because I wanted to become a chef before and now I joke a lot about arson, ironic, ain't it?)
Why so much? I really want to do these and yet there's something in my head making me scared of doing these
No rules, go insane if needed
#my rambles#i need motivation#idk i think i'm overthinking again#no we're not talking about that one time when my mom asked me if I should go see a psychiatrist#no we're not gonna talk about my trauma#it's so late rn#...#mh
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study of a very normal parasocial relationship with jesus christ (2024), oil on canvas
#riddlebat#batman#riddler#the batman 2022#bruce wayne#edward nygma#edward nashton#illustration#paul dano#robert pattinson#idk why do i find their relationship so funny#it’s so bad I need to see an psychiatrist
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Fun fact did you guys know that in canon Kabru is shown shirtless 3 times
If you guys know of any more instances of Kabru with no shirt on feel free to correct me to make my fact factually correct y’know? Feel free to send me any other instances of Kabru with no shirt on for my data this is my important data y’know? Please guys sned me Kabru with no shirt on this is an emergency and for the sake of science. Ascientific emergency if you will. Guys please help me in my sceifnricc endeavors. My research. Guys. My scientific paper is due in 3 and I need Kabru with no shirt on. Guys please I need it for my totally real and legit history article. I need shirtless Kabru images for my English resume. Kabru’s exposed shoulders are necessary for my grade in calculus guys
Ok I can’t think of any more jokes I am just going to be serious and say I love Kabru because those are my genuine earnest feelings I love him so so so so much he is my sweet dove scrimblo bbb (babyboy) <333333333333333333 I feel like a cartoon character with hearts for eyes I am swooning I love him so insanely much he is my dearest guy ever muah muah muah <3333333333333 I would open a pickle jar for him and like he could totally open those by himself but I think he should get to sit around and not worry his pretty little head bc like I could totally fuck up those pickle jars and then he could just chill like I’m actually pretty good at opening jars you guys that’s a fun fact about me I’m cool like that and I could be so cool and good to Kabru I would be like “I love you” and stuff you know all lovingly Kabruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I love him so much like just imagine a scrawny guy fanning their face and sighing dreamily because that’s me right now about Kabru god he’s so lovely I love himmmmmmmm <33333333333 he makes me smile and makes my heart flutter and stuff teeheehee I love Kabru I feel like a burning in my chest and I keep biting my teeth I feel like I’m going to explode I’m going insane Kabruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu agghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh slobbers everywhere and starts bawling my eyes out and falls over and splats on the ground with a loud thud and does fifteen summersaults and pulls my hair out and kicks my legs oughhhjh Kabru <33333333 I feel so much for him and I don’t even know what to say to exes it properly he is like a leaf in the wind that falls on your head when you’re walking and you become so inexplicably charmed by it and feel as if nature is giving you a gentle kiss and you just feel so loved he’s like a mug of hot chocolate on a chilly day and there’s also a fuzzy blanket and comfortable pajamas that’s him to me I love him I love him I love him so bad you guys he’s so dear to me I LOBE KABRU I feel so passionate about him right now and to cope with this I just watched that one animatic like 20 times in a row and now I’m going to read a fanfic where he eats a yummy meal he’s like a sweet summer’s day to me Kabruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
#dungeon meshi spoilers#not really but there’s the one pic of race swapped Kabru so just to be safe I tagged it#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#kabru#kabru dungeon meshi#kabru of utaya#kabru dunmeshi#Kabru posting#long post#rope/spider post#I feel like I haven’t Kabruposted in forever but I assure you guys I love him deeply and think about him constantly#I was at the psychiatrist today and I doodled him on my signs of anxiety paper but the psychiatrist needed the paper so I don’t have it#I was just thinking about him and I felt my heart tighten and I felt like throwing up and I was just so overwhelmed with love for him#but I didn’t really know what to say but luckily I found this Kabru shirtless compilation in my drafts#then I just added my feelings to the bottom and kabam it’s perfect#kabam kind of sounds like Kabru. I see him everywhere#I love Kabru sooooooooooooomuch
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It really just be like that sometimes
#just my thoughts#im kinda giving up on art and socializing rip#a husk of my younger more enthusiastic no trauma having self#i used to not care at all about being validated or having friends i was alone 24/7#after going through toxic relationships and trauma i cannot stop feeling like i should kms just for existing#i need to figure out how to get insurance so i can see a psychiatrist and get back on some pills or something#also now that im an adult and not a minor anymore i feel like i have to kms
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The best way to understand tumblr's strain of antipsychiatry is the many, many times I have seen Freud quotes tagged antipsych
#i dont think there are more than 20 or 30 people on this website who have actually read any anti psychiatry literature#bc literally all the antipsych posts on here i see were critiques of psychiatry BY psychiatrists from the fucking early 1900s#when your definition of anti psychiatry is less radical than freuds you need to not be calling yourself that#not that im anti psychiatry. i like the theory and find it interesting#but it's just something that informs my practice of psychology#bc a lot of the critiques are valid and can be worked into practice. theres a good preprint article i read that basically fixed one#of the big critiques of psychiatry too i can send it to anyone whos interested
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Totally just some OCs and not a representation of my current mental status
It's cool we chillin
#yeah yeah thats why i use they/them there's like three of me up in here#only see them super early in the morning at work ❤️❤️#maudiemoods art tag#should i see a psychiatrist? yeah. will i? probably not#i think i just need to drink more water oop#no but we actually have really good conversations most of the time
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beloved followers... in lack of knowledge on how i should take commissions and insecurity about pricing For Now i come to you with a test question post. does like, 5-15€/$ for the things i usually do (depending on complexity) as pictured below sound as something you would desire. do not feel bad for voting no at all i want this to serve as feedback.
#maybe 20 if it's something really yk. but full honesty i have few limits on what im willing to draw for moneys. ill draw my notps having the#nastiest loving/unloving s word if needed. i can even try other fandoms. and considering i can still currently do my hw assignments my art#block will probably not affect these. i am not in urgent need of money but i want to ask my parents if i can see a psychiatrist here and i#know the costs of that would make me feel bad to ask them for money for other shit... so this is more like an exchange.#slop
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ghoul grumps in november bc the scariest thing of all? executive dysfunction.
#tumblr user grmpgm be like. give me a few hours. several days later#i am pretty happy with this one though! :3 kind of went sketchy halfway thru but tbh it suits the Spooky Scary vibe#also i STILL have something else i SAID i was gonna finish WEEKS AGO in the works but like … the halloweiner#ignore how this one is also late. i need to see a psychiatrist#game grumps#dan avidan#arin hanson#ghoul grumps#danny sexbang#egoraptor#honeyart
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Ripping and tearing I need more cannibal content
#hannibal#nbc hannibal#I need it so bad I need to lay down and be able to exist through them#give them back to me#watching hannibal and will unravel in their own ways destroyed me#hannibal trying to be all prim proper and dignified and then he becomes an impulsive silly pathetic man for will#losing his mind in italy for the unstable sweaty dog man#meanwhile will tried to have a wife and fumbled it because he's too entwined with his morbid past and future...#...basically his manipulative cunty ex psychiatrist is causing him issues#I usually really do not care for romance in media#I do like jimmy and kim and I like gusmax#but I've never wanted to see two characters kiss and kill together so bad#will graham#hannibal lecter
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about to become #normalcore now that i'm gonna be on anxiety meds so sayonara you weeaboo shits
#kidding i still have plenty of other issues so i'm here to say#lol fr tho went to the doc today for the first time in foreverrr now that i have insurance#and when i brought up the anxiety to her i was like i know i prob need to see a psychiatrist or someone separate#but she was like nah. lexapro. boom. like okay miss ma'am!!#also the fact that she didn't try blame all my other health issues i told her about on me being fat??? did i hit the doctor jackpot or what#a.txt
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jean moreauuuuu. jean moreau i love youuuuuuu. your name sucks but i love you jean moreauuuuuuuuu.
#just finished reading TSC. i needed a long break before getting back to it. for obvious reasons#(nora sakavic will you ever let me read one of your books without needing to see my psychiatrist.)#anyway break is over i read what i had left in two days#i rated it 5 stars because. *looks at other aftg ratings* i couldn't go any lower.#but it was good#only part that annoyed me was like. linguistically jean moreau makes no sense#how does this french man understand and perfectly use phrasal verbs but not the word 'egregious'#but languages have always been bad in aftg so it's fine#anyway#aftg#the sunshine court#jean moreau
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Sometimes I think of Amy Pond, who grew up being called mad by those who wielded the word as a tool of exclusion and shame —
Amy Pond, who though forced into the hands of four psychiatrists, still clung to that which they called madness until those systems which elevate psychosocial conformity above humanity stripped it from her —
Amy Pond, whose imaginary friend reappeared for a single hour after twelve years and reignited that faith before disappearing for two more years —
Amy Pond, who spent those those two years under the same implicit threat ingrained in her through psychiatric violence, and thus began to believe the man who stopped the invasion was “just a madman with a box,” only for him to agree, and to also call her “mad, impossible Amy Pond,” reframing madness as non-negative for the first time in her life —
Amy Pond, who ignored the disembodied voice of her imaginary friend even as she ran away with him for real, who still lived each day with the traumatic internalization of deviancy dictated upon her by the psychiatric-industrial complex that shaped her from childhood —
Amy Pond, who wouldn't acknowledge the Doctor's voice, such that it took an Angel in her eye that was literally killing her to ensure she couldn't reality check herself —
Amy Pond, who stood before a room which muttered about “the psychiatrists we brought her to,” and though afraid, escaped their rigid parameters of acceptable existence.
#I like seeing it as indicating she began hearing his voice when he was gone for all those years! why else wouldn't she say anything?#actually psychotic Amy agenda#Amy Pond#eleventh doctor#reclaimed language#oh look its another antipsychiatry themed doctor who post#sumn abt in Fairies At The Bottom Of The Garden audio AND Imaginary Enemies comic we see Amelia bein called slurs against psychotic people#(shes called psycho in both)#like!!! and SO MUCH OF AMYS STORY is about her claiming her agency in ways that previous companions weren't allowed to-#companions whose status as a Wife was a signifier of an to end of their value individually- 'this is no place for a married woman' etc#in some cases Wife-ness forced upon them *as* a denial of agency 'I spent all that time trying to find you I'm not going back now!' etc#whereas Amys story deconstructs that; Amys “Choice” is an illusion- Amy being a Wife doesn't demote her agency as an companion#anyways I love that aspect of reclaimed agency for Amy but ALSO#“madness” as an expression of agency against systems of oppression is SO relevant. the mind defends itself and the alternative isnt better#the oppressive system in this case being ableist structures and the psychiatric system ITSELF which is a whole other layer#the moral being that even if the Doctor WAS a delusion? he'd still be a needed coping mechanism for a child who says “ppl always leave”#and instead of examining her feelings of abandonment they insist 'aLiENs DoNt ExIsT' as seen in the 'sTaRs DoNt ExIsT' psychiatrist in TBB#they don't care that she's in PAIN- why would they?- they just care that she's 'abnormal' and therefore not deserving of humanity#(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag#I mean technically this is about Amy but I once (twice) used that tag on the post about the Master. its the spirit of it!#and Amy Pond + her Raggedy Doctor as “mad” people is very *chefs kiss*#((you know what im putting the tag on my last Amy post :D ))#Mels experienced this very differently and I'll make a post about her at some point- I just wanna make sure my points are got across better#sumn abt Amelia's “crazy” was Mels' “delinquency.” Amy treated as if she doesn't know her own life while Mels treated as threatening#sumn abt adultification of Black girls while Amy is infantilized#Amy Pond who could rewrite reality in a reborn universe because she grew up with a Crack in her wall that no one believed was special —#ableism#saneism#unreality#because I mean Amy's stand against psychiatric dehumanization was to REWRITE THE UNIVERSE with her Crack powers
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I'm struggling a lot with my body image and I'm having a hard time not hurting myself.
#personal#I really need to see my therapist#I've been waiting for a visit from a psychiatrist for 7 months now
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