#I need to read more wlw because I had to include some I didn't even cared for

[tb3ih]

scary dog priviledges ft. shenhe

note(s) gn!reader, supposedly wlw but can be interpreted any way. really just what i hc how she would act if you were in a tight spot, all fluff, protective s/o ig??

includes light swearing, a little bit of worrying/anxiety on reader's part but nothing serious, shenhe just being attractive i guess. not proof-read.

you could have sworn it had not even been a second since you were last holding hands with shenhe; yet here you were, stuck in the crowded living room of a stranger's home, overwhelmed and most definitely lost. you don't remember letting go, only that when you turned to find her, she was nowhere in sight.

the fact that it had been your idea to come to this party to begin with was laughable (even shenhe was amused), having incited more than slight surprise from that of your parents when you pitched the idea to them.

there was a nervous cramp forming in the pit of your stomach, one that tended to be a frequent guest when you were left to fend for yourself in a place suffocated with so many people.

"hey there— well aren't you a pretty thing," someone coos from behind and you turn to be faced with a tall-looking ginger, a few more boys behind him settling their attention on you as well. carelessly rolled sleeves and a messy collar, you observed from the nonchalant way he stood to the boyish curl of his lip that he definitely thought he was important. a red solo cup remained hostage in his hand, the 'birthday boy' crown on his head somewhat lopsided. "i've never seen you around, do we go to the same uni?"

so he was tartaglia.

there was nothing impolite in the way he sized you up, just that all the attention at the moment wasn't something you found quite reassuring, especially not in the midst of this particular crowd.

your thumb goes to fidget with the ring on your right finger, the one signifying the promise made by your currently absent girlfriend. "mm... yeah, we do."

"no kidding, how come i've never seen you at one of these things?" he gestures to the 'things' to be the commotion happening around them.

i need to leave. looking for the words, you're just about to reply when you feel something warm slip into the back pocket of your jeans, a taller figure coming to stand next to you. "evidently because i wasn't able to convince her otherwise."

irritation appears to make itself evident in the way tartaglia's grin flattens out before shifting back into an easy smile. "hey, shenhe, i didn't know you were here, why didn't you say anything!"

"because we were just leaving," shenhe replies curtly, using her hand in your back pocket to guide you closer to her body as the two of you begin to walk away from the group of boys.

"awh c'mon, let 'em have some fun," tartaglia whined, reaching out to set a hand lightly on your shoulder.

and that was his mistake.

quicker than the eye could see, the hand was removed from your shoulder and the ginger was now a heap of ralph lauren's casual men's line on the ground. you had drawn a bit of attention of people around you, their confused stars going back and forth between the host and you two.

but there is no remorse on shenhe's face, only the furrow of annoyance in her brow as the boy slowly recovered. her voice is low and venomous, tone nothing short of unforgiving. "i don't remember asking you, carrot-top."

how could shenhe be? he tried to touch you.

just as the light-haired girl is about to deliver another beating in case he thinks about making a second attempt, you tug lightly on her sleeve, your fingers coming down to tangle with hers as you make a silent plea with your eyes.

sighing, shenhe presses a chaste kiss to your temple, muttering a small apology before taking your hand and leading you away towards the front door. you only feel the relief wash over you when you've secured yourself in the passenger seat of her car, the low thrum of the engine lulling you to a less panicked state.

"i could've—i should've punched him," shenhe mutters to herself, one hand on the wheel and the other on the back of your seat as she pulls out of the parking spot in reverse. the party's venue was no doubt a family residence, the extravagant design and lavish appearance surely not something kept to one college student. "damn frat boys."

your fingers mess with the edge of your hoodie sleeve, the soft material offering no struggle as it's exchanged between fingertips. "...i'm sorry."

she throws a quick glance at you from the corner of her eye, gaze focused intently on the road as she drives. "none of that was your fault, my love," shenhe begins, her hand coming to tangle with yours. "don't even think about blaming yourself."

instead of answering, you bring your entwined fingers to your lips, prompting a soft smile on her lips when your mouth settles for just a moment too long. "well i've learned my lesson, we're definitely not doing that again."

shenhe laughs at that, squeezing your hand in reassurance. "that party definitely wasn't anything to brag about. we'll go to a better one next time." she looks over at you and you've tucked yourself into the seat, opting to play lightly with her fingers. "just don't wander off again, okay?"

you hum lightly, "and why would i do that if i know you'll always find me?" your eyes hold faux innocence when they meet hers and shenhe lets out a surrendered breath, not bothering to try to win; one of the very few moments she'll ever admit such a thing.

"i'm putting a leash on you from now on," she counters, serious tone not matching the playful quirk of her lips.

"ooh, kinky." you hear her gasp and just barely dodge her hand coming to bonk you on the head. you laugh, "i'm kidding, i'm kidding!"

shenhe rolls her eyes and lets a sigh befall her lips, a warmth settling in her heart at the thought of never being able to love someone as much as she adores you. when she meets your eyes; all giddy and everything sweet, she decides she wouldn't have it any other way.

© tb3ih mmxxi all rights reserved.

[dykefever]

ok where to begin. This is a long one but I hope it's worth it?

1. I'm an embarrassingly huge stan and I've read all your stuff and I can quote some of them off the top of my head and my * husband * is vv familiar with you/your writing because I talk about it so much

2. I read the new Dorlene fic and it hit really hard because

3. I'm in my 30s and very happily married to a straight cis man, AND I just came out as bisexual

4. So I started writing my own "fic" with characters based on me/my husband to explore sexuality and identity, and also because I was an English/Theater major and haven't connected with that part of myself in so long and

5. I wrote my first lil femslash fic to explore my own sapphic desire for really the first time, and it was a really big deal to write and also nerve-wracking, like "am I doing * the gay * wrong?"

6. and literally a day or two after I finished, you posted Seasons in Desire

7. and it was, all of the yes. Right off the bat. The collarbones/shoulders. The staring. The nerves. The intimate friendship at the same time as wanting. But ESPECIALLY the role patriarchy plays in finding your way through desire and love and attraction. I didn't plan to include boys in my fic, but they just wrote themselves in ((ugh classic)) and in fact my characters' get-together arc is all wrapped up in the male gaze and expectation and comp het. And I high-key hated that at first. But I situated the fic in a specific time and place based on my real life, and I wanted to be honest about what lil 16-year-old me was really going through at the time. So seeing that same dynamic reflected in your piece, which is also very personal about your real experiences, was so validating and lovely and kind of empowering-- like, look at how amazing we are that we can find our way to love and desire women * despite * all the obstacles patriarchal society puts up to stop us.

So, yeah. Just, thank you for writing the Sapphic desire fic the fandom needs SO MUCH MORE of. And for inspiring me, personally, to get into writing and embracing my own identity.

xoxo Miss American Bi

hi hi !!!!! miss american bi, sorry this took a min to reply to but i wanted to have enough time to fully respond and i've been going back n reading this also because it has honestly moved me !

first off um hi to your husband!!! that is so sweet you talk about my writing to him and also the fact that you can quote my stuff oh my god!!! genuinely like in awe that you feel that way about my writing

and hello welcome to the community, figuring out your sexuality and such is tricky at the best of times and doing so while in a relationship is even harder!! i have some friends that have had a similar journey and just fuck yes for you! proud n happy for you<3

i've found writing about wlw/sapphics/lesbians to be a hugely validating experience and like this really beautiful exploratory thing to do with my desire and relationships so totally get you with writing out. i hope you continue to do so for yourself and find it continues to help :-) if you ever post anything i would love to read it !!

totally get you with male gaze n patriarchy making it's way into writing. it's unfortunately often a large part of queer women's experience when discovering their attraction to women. it has been for me at least and i wanted this story to be about discovery (dorcas finding herself to be lesbian rather than bi) (that's just straight up from my own experience lmao) and also how, especially in their early twenties, you can often be working through the complicated feelings of having attraction women (and not liking men in their case, although the role of the male gaze in queer women's desire is familiar for all of us!) while actually knowing and accepting this fact and living your life as a queer woman. i think stories can include this element of our experience while still completely centering the women and their relationship, which is what i was trying to do with seasons in desire! like, they are still working through their relationship with queerness but far more importantly, they want each other and love each other and will pursue and explore that <3

highlighting this also: look at how amazing we are that we can find our way to love and desire women * despite * all the obstacles patriarchal society puts up to stop us.

you're so right, it's fucking incredible!!!

completely honoured and floored by this message, that i inspired you to write n that this fic made you feel seen! keep writing n exploring yourself, i am cheering and whooping for you in embracing your bisexuality <3

p.s. re: collarbones and shoulders. always felt so frustrated how attraction to women is depicted generally in media. like queer desire is not rlly about these gendered body parts! it's so much more! wanted to write about that n how i feel regarding desire. just glad that resonated :-)

[booasaur]

On the topic of Happiest Season, I feel you about being disappointed at some of the reaction towards people in the closet. The discourse about how white the movie is barely happening, instead it's lukewarm takes from people talking about Harper being a horrible emotionally abusive gaslighter and that Abby should run away with Riley. As a person who was closeted for a long time and still is to most of my family, who relates so much to Harper, although I wouldn't have lied to my girlfriend to begin with, all of her choices over the course of those days make sense to me (not talking about the situation with Riley in high school). They're not perfect choices, but it's not like the movie isn't clear about why she's making them. The last third of the movie felt like the walls were closing around her, every choice makes sense in that context. Of course she didn't just accept being outed five seconds after it happened in front of 20 people after decades in the closet, of course after a moment of reflection thinking about losing the love of her life she looked around and was like "what am I doing this for?" and changed her mind. And of course Abby was well within her rights to refuse to accept her apology and leave, but also of course she would have looked at this person she loved who for a year before those five days she had a 'perfect' relationship with, seen that their one hurdle was on its way to being cleared, heard the speech about Harper wanting sincerely to right her wrongs, and stayed. In what world is that a baffling choice? It's not like she immediately proposed. I related to Harper more than I have to a character in a while, especially to the feeling of being ripped in two. It"s why I've made the choices I've made in the past to not get into serious relationships, precisely because this is my worst nightmare. Maybe it's because I'm not white and I feel the tension between losing your family and losing your partner perhaps uniquely, when losing my family includes losing my culture and community (or at least that's how I've felt). But you can happily ship Abby and Riley, and want Abby to have left for completely valid reasons about wanting two different things in a partner, without some of the vitriol being spewed at Harper in full view of sections of the community that are hurt every time they see it. I know I'm not brave enough. I don't need reminding.

“I know I'm not brave enough. I don't need reminding.“ Oooof, anon. I’m so sorry that you and others have been made to feel like this. :/

Unrelated, though, this whole ask is so well said, your points are so well made, I was honestly intimidated even trying to answer.

As you said, the movie explains why Harper’s behaving as she is, she’s ashamed and scared, why is every action read in the worst possible light, often exaggerated and even falsely?? Your explanation of how the ending went down, like, exactly, I cannot believe people are mad that she lied when outed in front of her family and a ton of people like that! That’s a literal nightmare come to life, surely some of us have had that one too?

And exactly, Abby’s in love with her, aside from the admittedly absolutely messed up lies about her sexuality that she absolutely should get help for, their life’s been perfect, with this barrier now taken away by Harper’s big step, why would she not try for it? Especially in a romcom! The way people have forgiven so much more in this genre but a closeted person they absolutely admit is abused separately from that, acts badly a few times and apologizes and is irredeemable.

The not white part’s actually funny to me, because I remember during the arguments over how horrible Jade (TRMD) and Rana (Corrie) were for being closeted or caring about their family, the fandom splits were often along...certain lines. And that’s such a good observation, how it’s a disconnect from culture and community too, then. We lose so much. Obviously the Caldwells are white af but it was amusing to me how many Asian wlw I saw were like, oh... D:

I’m picking random parts to respond to because honestly, your whole ask is perfect on its own. I will, though, agree that it’s absolutely fine to not personally think that Harper deserves that forgiveness or that Abby and Riley should have gotten together, but this really bad faith reading into her intentions just isn’t supported by the writing!

I’m sorry it took so long to respond, I hope you’re feeling better now. 

[its-afucking-mess]

A little guide on ao3 (by an ao3 user and writer)

Friendly reminder for mobile users! Ao3 is a website. It doesn't have (as far as im concerned) an official app for mobile, so better get comfy with using crome on your phone.

Some video links ill leave for people who prefer video and audio:

- navigating the fanfiction sites

- popular fandom terminology part 1 and part 2

- shipping etiquette

i really reccomend coley's videos if you want to get to know more fandoms, or get an inside look to how some stuff works. There also might be more vids about fandom's and fan works, so don't hesitate to look through some of her stuff!

the explaining under the 'read more' ao mutuals wont kill me :)

(also tagging @ethanesimp since they asked for this advice )

So, what is Ao3 really?

Ao3 is a website made by fans for fans. There are no ads, and all content is free on Ao3. Anyone can post (with some age restrictions) and they can post anything.

How can I browse Ao3?

Ao3 does not require an account to view stories. You can easily browse as an anonymous user. You just are not able to view certain works, as creators have the ability to show their works to registered users only. Some cases, commenting is possible while anonymous, but again, it's up to the creator of the work.

If you want to be a creator and share works, you need an account.

An account also gives you the ability to bookmark works, so you can re-visit them, mark works for later, keeps a history of the works you've visited and allows you to favourite tags.

How do I get an Ao3 account?

When you first open the site, it gives you the option to "Get Invited". An invitation will be sent to your email anywhere from 24hrs later to a week later, depending on the amount of people in the automated queue.

After the invitation, you are able to set up your account like any other social media account. Pick a username, pseuds (name), description and bio. You can have a profile picture as well.

How do I navigate the site?

There are few ways to do so efficiently, but there's countless of ways you can experiment with to find which is more comfortable.

1st option: As the website loads, you can go to the 'Fandoms' tag.

Then, after clicking on it, this column appears. Through there, you can pick which media your fandom is from and from there, browse the huge list of different fandoms until you spot your own.

The list is in alphabetical order, so if your fandom begins with an "C", it shouldn't be too far down.

2nd option: At the top right, under your profile, and the options 'Post' and 'Log Out' should be a white oval search bar.

(im using my own account for demonstration)

When searching, there are many ways to work around it.

Personally, I press search as it is. It will lead you to a page where all the fanworks of the site are listed. (i believe its easiest, but always feel free to experiment)

From there, you press the 'Edit Your Search' button, located near the top right.

It will then lead you to a page with multiple fields.

Don't panic when you see all the fields. Only half those are of interest when you want to browse works for a fandom.

The most important ones are those under the Field name 'Work Tags'

Whatever you select under this field will be included in the works the site presents you with.

What are the work tags? What do they do?

Lets go through the options.

Fandom(s): when typing on this option, multiple fandom names will autofill in a list under the white space. If your fandom shows up, you can just click on it.

example:

From there, you can select the fandom you want to see works from. If your fandom doesn't show up, it can mean one of two things:

-there are no works for it

-it isn't popular enough to be picked up by the algorithm

After selecting one fandom, you can select another fandom, or more, to see works that are crossovers over universes.

Ratings: Ratings are selected by author. It defines the level of maturity it has in the work

- General audiences is the tag you want to use when nothing bad happens in the work. No swearing, no sexual activities, no violence or gore. It wont contain scenes that minors are not allowed to see.

- Teen and up audiences is the tag used for most works on the site. It is what would be used when you have mentions of/vague sexual content or violence. Normally, the most extreme stuff on there is excessive swearing, heavy angst and hurt/comfort with no excessive details

- Mature is the tag that is for 18+. It is mostly filled with one of following : Violence, Sexual Content, Ab*se, R@pe, Death and SH.

Reader descretion is advised by looking at the additional tags the author has provided, especially for those with triggers.

- Explicit is like Mature, but contains more graphic content. Works rated explicit mostly fall under the 'Graphic depictions of sexual content', 'Graphic depictions of Violence and Gore' or 'Graphic depictions of Ab*se, R@pe, or Self H*rm

Reader descretion is advised, stronger than mature, since it can be much more triggering. The works are scarily detailed sometimes.

- Not rated: the author has not given this work a rating because none of the other ratings fit the work. Pay special attention to the tags.

Warnings: Also known as Archive warnings by older users. The trigger warnings of Ao3. There are 6 archive warnings:

-Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings: The author didn't use the warnings, either because none of them fit the work's theme and warnings, or to avoid spoiling the story. Pay attention to the tags for any warnings.

-Graphic Depictions Of Violence: It is pretty self explanatory. Can contain any sort of violence, from wars, to simple fights, to ab*se of any kind. Can and often contain death. The type of violence is in the tags.

-Major Character Death: A main character in the story will die in this work. Pay attention to the tags always. The name of the character will be mentioned, as well as the way they die.

-No Archive Warnings Apply: None of the warnings apply. It is most times a perfectly safe work. Check the tags to make sure though!

-R@pe/Non-Con: The work contains non-consensual activities. Ranges from non-consensua sex to non-consensual use and ab*se of substances. Very close attention to the tags!

-Underage: The main character(s) in this work are underage/minors. This is normally tagged along sexual content so be aware and pay close attention to the tags!

Categories: This regards the relationships in the work:

- M/M, or better known as mlm or a relationship between two non-woment (men mostly, can include characters under the non-binary umbrella)

- M/F, a heterosexual relationship (is inclusive of trans characters too!)

- F/F, or wlw, or a relationship between two non-men (women mostly, can include characters under the non-binary umbrella)

- Gen, no sexual or romantic relationships are in this work, or if there are any, they arent of main focus.

- Multi: Polyamorous relationships, or multiple relationships are included in this work (this is also where threesomes+ are tagged in sometimes)

- Other relationships: One of the two people in the relationship is non-human (mostly), or the relationships are platonic/family.

Characters: The characters you want to be included in the story. This works just like the 'Fandom' filter, so the same things apply. You can tag as many characters as desirable.

Relationships: The relationships that you want present in the work. This includes both major and minor relationships. It can also include ended relationships (tagged Past x/y) and implied/referenced relationships. This works just like the Characters and Fandom filter.

Additional Tags: These are things the author has included to give potential readers an insight to the story. 'Angst', 'Fluff' and 'Smut' are additional tags. Works like the Relationships filter, so all same applies.

Is there anything I have to avoid/ I should avoid?

There is this very infamous tag, 'Dead Dove: Do not eat.' This tag is a warining to readers that the things in the work are really messed up, and can include anything illegal in it. PAY VERY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE REST OF THE TAGS IF YOU STILL ARE INTERESTED.

How else can I filter works?

You can choose how they are:

sorted (Titles, Authors, Hits, Kudos, Comments, Bookmarks, and Best Match)

the word count (from 1 word to millions)

the language (most are on there)

the amount of chapters

if the work is complete of not

when it last updated/when was posted

and if there are crossovers.

These are all options that author has to include, and therefore you can sort freely. Most are bulletin options you can click on.

What if I want to find a specific work?

If you happen to know one of these: Author, Title, Fandom or Rating, you will find it. If you were reccomended one, it's better to ask for the author or the title, to make looking for it easier.

Can I find a specific author/ user?

People search is for finding users on the site

Bookmark search helps you look through other people's public bookmarks. Not really used.

Tag search finds works that include this specific tag you searched. Also not used a lot.

People can see my bookmarks?

When bookmarking a work, you are able to do a lot.

if you do not want your bookmarks to be visible to the public, make sure to check off the Private bookmark box at the bottom left.

Common terms thrown around by Ao3 users:

-tags: the additional tags of the work

-kudos: liking a story

-bookmarks: saving/saved stories. makes it easy to revist. you can see your bookmarks from your profile

-hits: the amount of people that have clicked on a story. Isn't necessary they liked it, but they did click on it.

And those are the basics! If you had to take one thing only, its ALWAYS READ TAGS

I hope this helped the clueless souls even a bit :)

Im open to reply to any other questions, and you can send me them in my asks, messages or comments of this post

[kathyreviewsbooks]

Written in The Stars by Alexandria Bellefleur Rating: 4 / 5

Summary: Elle is an astrologer who co owns an account known as Oh My Stars along with her roommate. She is set to close a deal with OTP, a dating app created by one of her friends Brendon. Brendon overhead Elle talking about how hard dating was as a bisexual woman nowadays and decided to set up Elle on a date with his sister Darcy. The date goes disastrously wrong and both Elle and Darcy never want to see each other again. However when Brendon keeps pushing for Darcy to find someone Darcy ends up lying and saying that she and Elle really hit it off. Her plan nearly backfires when Elle finds out what Darcy told her brother, but by a chance of fate they both need a date so they decide to fake a relationship together. Neither of them anticipated how quickly they would end up falling for each other……

Rating: This book did read a bit slow for for the first like three chapters. However once the story and plot were set it started picking up pace. I love learning more about each of the characters as the story progresses. This book is apparently a new take on pride and prejudice, however you don't have to read it to love the story. I've never read pride and prejudice and yet I really enjoyed reading this book. I don't read many contemporary stories simply because they always feel a bit slow for me however this one did a good job of pacing the story once it got past the first three chapters.

What I really loved about this story is that it wasn't centered on overcoming society's expectations, like coming out or homophobia. It was just a story about two girls falling in love. Don't get me wrong i love stories in which the characters struggle with their gender or secual identity due to family or society, but I also love reading cute fluffy romances. Even if it starts out as a fake relationship.

I haven't read many fake relationship trope book but I am not quickly discovering that i love the trope. I love reading how the characters go from having nothing in common to falling in love with each other's different personalities. Learning that maybe the other isn't so bad after all and then having to figure out how to deal with their feelings when the relationship they have is fake. This trope really encourages authors to try hard to get their characters to love each other but also to get the reader's to feel that love, to become engaged in this fake relationship and the characters.

I'm a sucker for character driven stories, i love plot driven stories, but character driven stories just light something up in me. I love reading how the characters develop and progress and how they overcome their own fears and obstacles. There's just something about it that makes me feel happy. It also helps me to root for the characters but also the romance that the characters are working for. Bellefleur did such a great job of making this story a good balance of romance and character driven.

Overall, this book was a delightful holiday read. If you enjoy books that include fake dating tropes, are a fan of pride and prejudice, and/or enjoy contemporary romance books then this is the book for you. This is also, as can be seen from the summary a WlW book so if your queer then definitely read this book and make your queer heart happy. I don't recommend this book if you don't enjoy reading steamy content. Because this book was smutty so be aware of that.

I only had two reasons why I didn't give this book a 5 /5 rating. One is that the first three chapters felt a bit slow, but that could have just been me. I do enjoy more quick paced books. The last reason is that i felt like the ending was too rushed. I would have loved a few more pages before we got to the ending. I also really would've loved an epilogue,jump to new years as that was such an important date.

Genre: Adult contemporary romance

Rep: WlW, Bisexual main character, Pansexual side character, sapphic,

Trigger Warnings: talk of cheating in the past, bad parenting, abandonment in the past, loss of a loved one, Misogyny including some internalized, some family trauma, attachment trauma, homophobia (framed in a negative light)

General warning: spicy content

[positivityforlesbians]

Hey. I know your blog doesn't deal with this, but I really need advice and I've been following you for a while. I've identified as a lesbian for a few years, and it never felt right to me. I've recently realized I've had sex and gender dysphoria from an early age, and that was a reason it didn't seem correct. I am really interested in transition for myself, but I'm worried how my other friends will see me, and I'm worried they'll believe I'm becoming some tra. I'm so lost and I'd value your word

Hey ! This will be a long and honest answer, as you said you value my words on this topic. So here’s a short message to my followers : this has little to do with actual positivity for lesbians and the opinion presented here is maybe not what you encounter everyday but nonetheless it’s an opinion shared with many, some trans people included, and this is a very difficult ask to answer for me as a lesbian, if not the most difficult one. So don’t read this answer if you just seek light-hearted posts.

Transitioning is not a light thing, i’m pretty sure you know that already but i’m putting the emphasis on it because we’re facing a huge wave of detransitioners now, it’s something that we never saw before. It’s because too many people thought it would be good for them but it turns out it wasn’t and now they regret their initial decision and they can’t exactly undo all medical and hormonal changes they went through. I don’t want this for anyone, even my worst enemy (sending full love to detrans wlw out there). I used to have (gender) dysphoria myself and i’m glad i didn’t act on it because i would be miserable right now, this is why i’m telling you this, anon. Transitioning into a trans man is hard on the body (obviously), it doesn’t make you into a soft boy or an androgynous handsome man with a lower voice (how i wish i could have a lower voice ugh), it makes you into a whole ass man (but never a male) one that will have hair everywhere and a recessing hairline, one that will be perceived as a man by other women and will lose the way women look at women (alias, reassurance and lack of fear) and instead they will see you as a potential threat walking in the street. A trans man who is same-sex attracted lose the warmth of lesbian culture, how wlw look at other women (this time the look i’m talking about is lack of fear + potential desire), it’s a deep loss. I’m telling you this because i read what homosexual trans men write and what detransitioners write, grieving being seen as part of the wlw is one of thing i’ve seen multiple times - even though they perfectly knew before taking T that they would probably lose this sense of belonging. 

Ultimately it’s your choice, you are the only one who can decide for yourself. Maybe you do not care about losing that special connection to wlw, maybe you would do it even though there are increased risks of cancer and plenty of health problems. You guessed it, i don’t want to sugarcoat this and minimize what transition is, too many gender “therapists” don’t do their damn job and let teens and adults with other conditions or disabilities (whose symptoms are mistaken as results of gender dysphoria when that dysphoria is actually a result of other conditions/ disabilities, i’m talking about depression, ad/hd, autism > i’m autistic myself, etc) go into hormone replacement therapy and they just not actually care to help the person with dysphoria. Because of all this i cannot just say “hey you’re valid, do whatever please you !” There’s too many things at risk and too many people with internalized homophobia/ are simply gender non conforming/ or have unresolved, undiagnosed conditions/disabilities who are wrongly put into the process of transitioning, so many that i have become wary. I just want you to take the best decision possible and to not get hurt or have regret. Transitioning is something heavy, it’s not at all like being lgb, it’s something that changes one’s life and possibly puts one in a lifetime of medicalization (hormone shots, regular checks with doctors, surgeons, actual therapy if you seek it, the negative aftermath of taking t or e on a body not made for this during decades, etc) and so i’d rather say the truth (again, as someone who used to have gender dysphoria) rather than doing the mistake of making it sound like it’s not a big deal. Other blogs, the ones who are specialized in trans identities, would give you a very different opinion (well, maybe not transmeds) but you asked for mine. It’s your life anon, only you can decide if becoming a trans man would be a good decision for you. Like i often say, you can direct message me if you have more questions anon ! Xx