#I need to lose weight good fucking godddddd

[dentpx]

I haven’t been able to take a shower this whole week I feel terrible and I wish I was dead. I don’t know why I said I would go full time at this job and I’m scared. I don’t think my life is going anywhere. I haven’t seen my boyfriend in nearly a week and I haven’t properly gotten to spend time with him for even longer like pretty much this whole month and even though he’s finally free today I couldn’t do it I told him I wasn’t feeling it and I just stayed in my room for the rest of the day still in my fucking work clothes just sitting here and I don’t know why!!!!!

[lihikainanea]

Ok so I've been having dirty thoughts and want to delve back into Bill's cum kink. What if he goes cold turkey from getting himself off for like, most of a shoot? Maybe it's taking a lot to distract himself from it, so he hasn't really been around to chat with tiger because he's spending his time at the gym or going out a lot. But when he gets home, he tells her he's been saving up for her and just fucking lets loose.

oh godddddd yes hit me harder kid. I like it.

Maybe it’s...is it for a role? Maybe Bill is playing someone really on the outskirts of society (you know, for a change. SNORT.) A total fucking recluse. And Bill gets really into his roles--like if his character is isolated, then Bill isolates himself to really get a feel for it, delve into the psyche. And that’s what he does with this role.

He doesn’t let tiger come visit. Bill is all-in on everything, and this character is very far from his happy, sociable baseline--so to really get a feel for him, Bill has to immerse himself in it. Do what his character would do. Tiger understands--she’s worried, of course, always a little concerned when he’s this maniacal--but Bill is so passionate about what he does, he’s so good at it, that she lets him just...do what he’s gotta do. It’s not her place to step in anyway, because she’d kill him if he tried to interfere with her job.

In any case, Good Dude Bill is pent up. Because he’s not even getting himself off, no no, his character wouldn’t do that--so he doesn’t do that. And all of these pent up feelings are just adding to the rage his character would feel, and every day Bill is giving it his all and it’s one of his best performances to date. He’s fucking dying, and by the time the shoot wraps he’s basically walking funny because he needs it so bad.

But at that point--look man, he’s gone this long without an orgasm, and he’s like two days away from seeing tiger. He can either cave in and get himself off--which would be mind-blowing after this draught, no doubt, but it wouldn’t be nearly as incredible as slamming into tiger and losing his fucking mind in her warm wetness. And for as much as it hurts, for as much as it feels like he’s just a walking ball of tension with a chastity belt far too tight around his dick--he’s willing to wait. Because it’ll be good but unsatisfying if he does it himself, but if he waits for tiger? The heavens will fucking open up and shine down upon him. And he’s so close to seeing her.

So he packs up his trailer, packs his bags, and he calls her to tell her he wrapped. And he’s barely spoken to her--her safe word still applies in this case, if she needs to see him or talk to him that’s all she has to say and he’ll call her, but she was doing okay and wanted him to focus on his work, so she let him disappear into it. And he swears, just hearing her voice over the phone gave him a hard on that nearly had him admitting defeat.

“I can’t wait to see you,” she says excitedly, “God just to kiss you and hug you and sniff you and get on my knees for--”

Bill grits his teeth, twists his neck until it pops.

“Stop,” he commands, and Jesus it’s harsh. Tiger squeaks a little, and goes silent.

“Tiger, I haven’t--”

“But I thought you did it yours--”

“I didn't,” he says, and he can almost hear the shock in her silence.

“Bud, it’s been like two months,” she says, incredulously.

“I know,” he grits out.

“You must be so uncomfortable,” she sympathizes and his heart softens.

“I am,” he whines, “Please tell me you don’t have any plans for like, the next week.”

“All yours bud,” she says, “Just get home to me.”

The plane ride back is torture--Bill basically has a perpetual hard on that just won’t let up. And now that he’s so close, she’s all he can think about--her warm lips, her soft skin, those little gasps of surprise he’s rewarded with whenever he does something she really likes. Her taste, her smell, everything--he’s a man insane, it’s all he can think about. His knee is bouncing uncontrollably, he’s so hard that he’s throbbing, his music is blasting, but it’s hopeless--nothing can distract him now.

And I’ll bet the minute he walks in the door, the minute he sees her standing there with a kind smile on her face, waiting for him--he’s already undoing his belt. The door isn’t even closed behind him, and his buckle is already undone. He doesn’t dare reach for her, doesn’t grab her to press her to him and kiss the hell out of her--because he’s legitimately afraid that he might bust. And that would be incredibly anticlimactic, after having waited this long.

He doesn’t even greet her, actually. Just stares her down, undoes his belt and his jeans.

“This is going to be real quick, kid,” god it’s a struggle for him to even talk, but he licks his lips as his gaze washes over her.

“That’s okay Billy,” she says, taking a few steps towards him.

“Probably none too gentle, either,” and his pants are down and off--he’s so hard it actually hurts. She just steps closer again, and then it hits him--the smell of her shampoo, the warmth radiating off of her body that is so close now--so, so close. His knees almost buckle.

“Let go bud,” she encourages, “Come on, let’s see what you’ve got.”

“Tiger--” he tries. He tries for her sake. He needs to know that she’ll safeword if it’s too much, he needs to know that at least SHE trusts him not to hurt her, because he doesn’t trust anything about himself in that moment.

“Bill,” she says and it’s surprisingly harsh, “Go for it. Now.”

And with a fucking roar, Bill dives for her. He doesn’t even make it to the bedroom, he just slams her back onto the hallway floor and takes her there. Its rough, but tiger ain’t no bitch and she can take it. Not that he needs it, but she does everything to egg him on even more--digs her nails into his back and rakes them down as he growls, grabs onto his peachy little butt and pull him forward forcefully to drive him in deeper. His release is almost immediate--just barely 2 pumps in and he’s losing it. He comes with a shout,  contorting enough to pop his back, every single muscle in him tensing at the same time and he probably punches the floor just for good measure. It lasts for a long time because there’s just uh, so much of it but tiger helps him ride it out--pulls at his hair the way he likes, keeps him buried in deep, arches her hips up towards his. When his spasms ease he probably just straight up collapses, flumps on top of her on the verge of unconsciousness, and he can’t move.

She gives him a few minutes--probably more than a few minutes, because Bill is basically just drooling onto her shoulder and he’s barely breathing--but she starts scritching at his hair softly, and he moans. She runs her hands soothingly up his back as he gets some of his wits about him again, but his full weight is still on her.

“You good?” she coos in his ear, presses a soft kiss there. Bill just groans.

“M’sorry,” he slurs, “That was--”

“Well deserved,” she interrupts. He balances some of his weight clumsily on his elbow, shaky as all hell, and rests his forehead against hers.

“Better?” she asks.

He just hums. Bumps his nose gently with hers.

“Hi, kid,” he says softly, “I missed you.”

“You just missed my--”

He cuts her off with a kiss, slow and deep, and she melts into it. And like, it probably takes him a long ass time to be able to feel his legs again, but when he can, he starts to move off of her and bring her to the bedroom--where he basically doesn’t let her leave for like, 4 days. And once he’s gotten enough of finding his release while buried tight inside her, her muscles squeezing the hell out of him and he’s just enveloped in everything warm and wet and amazing, then his other come kink kicks in. The one where he wants to see her covered in it. At her encouragement, it’s everywhere. On her chest, on her stomach--anywhere he wants, she lets him.

Bill’s so insatiable that she might ask for a small break after 4 days, just because she can’t walk anymore. Bill tries not to pout, but he’s not doing a very good job. But that’s alright. What he’s lacking in sex, tiger makes up to him in sloppy BJs.

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#16)

S3 E16: An Inconvenient Truth.

Episode description: After taking the lead on a surgery, Dr. Bekker feels the heat after something goes wrong. Dr. Manning and Dr. Charles are faced with a tough decision concerning the gender of a 9-year-old girl.

YOOO okay. Big Ava ep, ig. Also, in the previous breakdown I talked about how Ava seems to be losing her confidence, which leads directly into this ep, the prophesized panic attack/breakdown episode. How exciting. I will say, good lead in, from the previous episode.

Let’s get into it.

- connor will bromance is tops

- maggie waiting for sarah by the elevators, tapping the charge phone anxiously. nice of her. she cares.

- sarah just... watching. from the outside. it’s so interesting. bc most people whose fmaily members are getting worked on are emotional, and sarah is, but she also knows a good deal. just the... little signs of anxiety. the way her eyes just scan the scene

- sarah not going up with them

- sarah doing mental calculations, you can see it. trying to figure out if its worth ‘it’

- personally, no, bc getting close to him means inevitably leaving chicago and ava so

- connor covering for sarah. chef’s kiss. good for him

- noah trying to help sarah is nice, and funny, and a little exhausting.

- sarah in the basic white top. v professional

- noah’s ‘yes sir.’ respect the patient. (especially bc april knows him)

- OOOO AVA WITH ROLLED UP SLEEVES hahaha wowwww

- i just took a very deep breath

- ava smiling and poking fun at connor. you love to see it.

- god their back and forth is just fantastic

- connor: “are you rooting for my success?”

- ava: “not at all, i just hate winning by default.” - the way she enunciated that so deep!

- she’s confident again (that will change)

- why must she suffer. i am so scared

- god, everytime she’s on screen, i’m just like.. . <3<3<3

- ava sits back and lets them talk. let’s them set the details of the case, before she gives her two cents

- oh god she’s gonna mess up i am so fucking scared to see her like that

- like excited too but still

- AVA SUBTLY ROLLING HER EYES AT CONNOR DISAGREEING WITH HER. RAISING AN EYEBROW

- ava being so cocky with connor. it’s what she deserves

- ava immediately accusing connor of messing up? dare I say,,, defense mechanism.

- maggie telling noah to back off. good.

- the tremble in ava’s voice when she realizes it’s her suction cup, and her trying to push forward

- ava lashing out at connor

- the shake in her voice as she pushes herself as far as she can w/o breaking in the surgery

- she cannot get out of there fast enough

- aw no she’s sad

- if they kiss rn i’m gonna jump off a bridge

- GOD SAD AVA HITS SO HARD

- like, just everything. the way she leans against the lockers -

- connor misreading ava so hard. thinking she’s worried about her reputation, when really she just almost killed her patient. she cares about her patient’s well being, not her rep.

- this story where noah pretends to be this patient’s son is actually such a good moment. he’s a good guy.

- sarah being floored by this act of kindness

- sarah and her backpack again!

- sarah and noah talking is nice. know why? bc he is the only person she interacts with regularly that isn’t charles. she actually gets to have a conversation w/o ungodly amounts of stress and weight on her. she gets to smile! thank god for that

- ava, standing in latham’s office, tense, arms held behind her, standing at attention. (you can obviously tell that she’s anxious)

- connor trying to take the fall for ava. come on. (okay, you can make the argument that he knows his rep will carry him through. using his privilege for good?)

- and the annoyance (or confusion, i can’t tell) on her face

- YOOOO WHAT. THAT IS LIKE THE FIFTH TIME SHE’S OPENED THE DOOR FOR HIM. okay come on what is this pattern i’m seeing. honestly. this is insane

- GODDDDDD the adorable little shoulder bump?!?!?! bros to the max. that is adorable holy shit

- her small little smile (at this point i don’t even have to point it out, it’s pedantic)

- this ava/connor interaction and banter is peak

- william is an idiot

Okay. Honestly, not as big of an Ava ep as I thought. What did we get to see? Well, we saw what happens when she messes up at work, when she experiences a lot of stress/anxiety. This was specifically related to the well being of her patient and her not trusting (to an extent) her own abilities. Oddly enough, the anxiety resolved itself, so i don’t think there are any loose threads.

This ep did contribute to Connor’s hero complex, as well so...

We got to see Sarah have a positive conversation with Noah, which means she smiled, which is always good.

Specific to the rewrite, I don’t really see any details that need to be overwritten. All the storylines in this episode were really good, not that messy at all. So...

At the most, this ep gave us Ava under anxiety, panicking. But not so much as to make impulsive decisions. This actually wasn’t really a panic, it was more fear. she was scared of her abilities, of her mistakes. (I argue that under anxiety, high stress, not necessarily fear, she makes impulsive decisions, like sleeping with Connor, which I argued in a previous post). That is what happens under anxiety. Under fear, she starts to panic, breaks down.

So, yeah, if you believe me and think that she only slept with Connor out of anxiety, then now we’ve seen two sides of Ava’s negative thoughts. This has actually been good work

thanks for stickin with it. i am so sorry.

[lihikainanea]

I'm in a Soft Bill mood. Thinking about him tracing tiger's shoulders and neck with the tip of his nose, breathing on her skin, the occasional soft kiss to her pulse points, warm hands on her hips, etc. He wants to see how wet he can get her without touching her overtly sexually. And of course she starts to beg, but he's not having it. ❤beth

GODDDDDD BISH I--

Siiiiiiigh.

I am so soff for this. Look, I have run my mouth to hell and back over how much I think Bill really just finds his comfort in touch. In much of the same way that tiger has no idea that she’ll always try to pacify her oral fixation whenever she’s uncomfortable in any way--Bill literally has no idea that he’s so grounded in touch. Or maybe he kinda knows, but he doesn’t know the depth of it. But that’s all just soft touching, right? He’s not trying to work her up.

NOW. I have like, two scenarios for this alright--one where Bill just really needs to feel her soft skin under his fingertips so he’s just doing it for him, and one where he’s being a total fucking bastard and he KNOWS damn well how much he's working her up.

So listen--somehow I can never get rid of this image of these two idiots snug in bed, the room bathed in moonlight, and tiger is knocked out. Maybe jet lag really affects the tall boi, maybe he’s had a lot on his mind, maybe he’s nervous about a few upcoming auditions or can’t handle the suspense of waiting on the callbacks from recent auditions. Either way, Bill is up and he’s bug-eyed. Wide awake. And tiger is facing away from him because sometimes she scoots away from him in her sleep if she’s too warm, but she always finds her way back. Bill never particularly notices because usually he’s asleep too but that’s not happening tonight. So tiger is on her stomach, facing away from him, and about half an hour ago she sent a feeler hand out to pat for him because she couldn’t feel him. He smiled, resting his hand close to where hers was reaching blindly so that she’d find it--and she did. She sloppily plunked her hand in his giant paw, made a happy little grumble, hell she probably even shot a leg out and just draped it over his--and then she’s snoring again.

Maybe the blanket is pooled around her hips. She’s naked so her beautiful back is on display, looking soft and supple, and Bill just...he can’t even help it. Reaching a tentative hand out he just barely brushes his fingertips along her back--just a whisper, really. Along her shoulder blades, down her spine, across her lower back, back up again across her rib cage. Just over and over again. And eventually, because he’s paying less attention, eventually he starts to touch with just a tad more pressure. Maybe he leans in closer, rests his cheek on her pillow, so now his warm breaths are being fanned across her back. Tiger probably woke up after a few minutes of this, but she’s not going to disturb him--because if he knows that she’s awake, then he’ll stop, he’ll get embarrassed, he’ll apologize for waking her up. And she can tell by his breathing--which is damn near meditative--that he’s getting a lot from this. So maybe she pretends to be still asleep, so he can get his fill.

And it’s so gentle, so rhythmic. So soft. Just over and over again, his hand runs all over her back. He’ll probably press a few gentle kisses there--god so, so, gentle.

But here’s the thing. Tiger has such a thing for Bill’s hands, you know? Because they’re always warm, but never clammy. They’re so big compared to her own, but they’re also so gentle. So kind, so fucking comforting. And waking up to those glorious hands all over her bare skin, his breath on her back, his soft lips pressing gentle kisses to her sensitive skin--after just a few minutes, tiger is on fucking fire. And god she doesn’t want to disturb him, she wants him to keep doing this for as long as he needs, but she’s gritting her teeth because Jesus she’s getting wet. And she knows he’s not doing this to work her up, but she can’t help it. And it gets a little too much and she can’t help it anymore, she stretches her legs, maybe arches her hips a little into the mattress for some friction, lifts her head and peers sleepily at him.

“You’re killing me, bud,” she sighs. Bill retracts his hand, a look of regret on his soft features.

“I’m sorry kid, I didn’t mean to wake you,” he says. And maybe he hasn’t quite clued in yet, until tiger lets out a bit of a breathless sigh, a soft moan really, as she arches her hips again.

“It’s okay, it’s a nice way to wake up,” she says, “But god I need to...would you mind if I...”

It’s kind of new territory. She knows Bill didn’t mean to work her up and he was probably just looking for some affection so now she feels little bad that she’s basically already a fucking mess for him--but she also doesn’t want him to feel like he needs to take care of it now. Homegirl can do it on her own and hell, he can watch, No problem.

“Oh,” he murmurs softly when he realizes, “Oh. I uh...sorry, I..”

“Yeah,” she chuckles lowly, and still on her stomach she reaches down but a gentle hand on her bicep stops her.

“I’ll do it for you tiger,” he offers with a kiss to her shoulder, “Flip over.”

She does, resting on her back and pushing her knees apart.

“I can--” she stops when he gently pushes two fingers into her mouth to wet them, dragging them down her chest.

“I know you can,” he murmurs, and she sighs when his fingers dance low on her stomach, “But let me do it for you.”

He pushes her thighs further apart, maybe hitching one of her knees over his legs. He balances his weight on an elbow, his other hand lightly in her hair to scratch at her scalp.

“Comfy?” he asks, and she nods as she arches her hips up just a little.

“Good,” he says, and then his fingers--long and slender and fucking beautiful--are stroking through her soaked folds, so gently. It’s embarrassingly how easily he can get her off with just his hands but he loves it, she’s so easy for him and so receptive to everything he does.

BUT THEN LIKE ALSO. Bill being a total bastard right? God, what’s the scenario here....half of me likes the idea that tiger is legitimately tied the fuck up. Face down on the bed, because her sass level was just way too high. So he ties her to the headboard and then settles in for his usual night time reading, and as he’s reading he’s just letting his touch kind of...linger. And it’s absolutely done with intent. He’s just stroking over her back softly, tutting or harumphing whenever he reads something funny or thoughtful--and tiger is straight up losing her fucking mind. She’s trying to arch her back into him, but all that makes him do is stop his movements. She pouts. Writhes. Actually tries to kick the book out of his hands. And all Bill does is just keep is steady and slow, soft, caressing. And when every ounce of sass leaves her body, when she is finally sweet and begging for him, whining and apologizing--then he’ll just reach over to turn off the light, get settled in under the blankets, put a hand on her butt and promptly fall asleep.