#I need to finish my bottle of lime rum and make some rum port tea

[zigraves]

About your recipe with the curdled milk and the brandy - there is not quite enough detail there for me to feel comfortable attempting to replicate. Can I ask you to make a step by step?

Sure! Here is a step by step that breaks the original 4 steps into quite a lot more than 4 steps, hopefully with adequate detail about each step and why you do it the way that you do. This is a LONG post, so it’s hopefully buried under this readmore.

Equipment you need: A measuring cup, ideally a set that also includes 1/4 cups and 1/2 cups, but it’s fine to just use one cup and go by eye. A peeling knife or grater (for zesting your fruit) A pan capable of holding at least 4 cups of liquid A large lidded jug that fits in your fridge A spoon with a long handle A second large jug for straining your mix into, lid not required A large glass bottle, at least 1 litre capacity, with flip or screw top, for final storage of your fancy drink. This should be sterilised ahead of time, ie in dishwasher or oven. A seive or similar strainer A funnel for convenience Coffee filters, several

The method I use is based off Mary Rockett’s Citrus Milk Punch over on splendid table, and with the same ingredients. Keep to a 1:5 ratio of milk:cocktail for the best results, but you can get away with 1:4 in a pinch. I treat cups as British cooking cups, ie around 250ml capacity. As long as you use the same measuring cups throughout, you’ll be fine: 1- Peel your lemon & orange into long strips of zest. I use one large naval orange and two whole lemons worth of zest because I like it extra flavoursome. If you have more time and also motor control, take a microplane grater and zest all the colour off your fruit. You want the zest to be able to give out all the oils & flavours it contains, hence optional use of a grater. You DO NOT WANT the pith, the white stuff under the tasty zesty peel. Leave that on the fruit, and save the fruit for later by wrapping it in clingfilm to replace to the outer skin it lost.

2 - Dump the zest/ strips into a tupperware containing two cups of your cheapest brandy. I use the bottom shelf stuff that comes in plastic bottles. Try to make sure it’s a good waterproof tupperware, because then you can pick it up and give it a violent shake to encourage the delicious oils from the zest to really infuse into the brandy.

3 - Put your tupperware container somewhere away from direct sunlight (I hide mine on top of the microwave), and come back 24 hours later.

4 - It’s now 24 hours later. Pour a cup of milk from the fridge into a LARGE and LIDDED container, like a 2 litre jug. The milk will sit in the jug warming up to a cool room temperature while you do the next bits.

5 - The official recipe says to add your remaining ingredients together and whisk till the sugar dissolves, but this is where I diverge a bit. Add your 2 cups of water and 1/2 cup of sugar together in a pan, and heat gently while stirring until the sugar dissolves. I find this faster and easier on my wrists than trying to whisk sugar into cold water and brandy that’s already got stuff in it.

6 - Take your sugar solution off the heat & let it cool a bit, then add the juice of yesterday’s bald orange and lemons and stir them together. Use fresh, not bottled stuff, even if this means you need another orange because you ate the one you zested yesterday. The original recipe says 1/4 cup each lemon and orange, but I like 1/4 cup lemon and 1/2 cup orange.

7 - Strain your brandy-with-stuff-in into the solution, discarding the zest that was in it. If you just put in strips of peel, this is easy - pick out the chunks and chuck ‘em. If you put in grated zest, you will need to use a strainer for all the little bits. Stir your liquids again to make sure everything is nicely mixed.

8 - GENTLY pour your brandy-juice-water-sugar mix into the milk that’s now a coolish room temperature. If you dump it all in at once, the milk can curdle too fast. And likewise, if you add the milk to the brandy instead, it will curdle instantly and then you lose the slow process that gives you good results.

9 - Give your horrible brandy-juice-water-sugar-milk concoction a gentle stir with a long handled spoon of some kind, so that there’s no untouched milk sitting at the bottom and no totally clear brandy stuff sitting at the top.

10 - Put the lid on your container, put it in your fridge, and WARN YOUR FLAT MATES/ FAMILY/ ROOMIE/ SPOUSE NOT TO TOUCH IT, because most people, on seeing a jug of horrible curdled milk hell, will sensibly want to throw it out. But they don’t know what we know about playing with booze and chemistry. Leave it for 24 hours.

11 - We are now on Day Three of making this cocktail. Take your horrible nasty curdled milk hell drink out of the fridge, noticing that it has settled into a thick curdy soft-cheese mass and a mostly clear liquid that’s still got some funky looking stuff. Line a strainer with a coffee filter, and begin to decant from the fridge jug into a new container via your filter. I find it helpful to stick the strainer atop a funnel for this part, since most liquid containers have narrow mouths better suited to funnels than to big round strainers.

12 - You will go through a few coffee filters, because the milk curds will start to clog it up pretty quickly on your first round. I throw out the clogged filter and replace it wth a new one every time the flow of liquid from filter into container gets to just being a very, very slow drip.

13 - Great, now do that again. Despite the loving care of multiple coffee filters, some sediment from the milk will probably have gotten into your lovely end result. The original recipe suggests two rounds, but I usually do three rounds of filtration to get the level of clarity I’m happy with. Final round is filtered into your nice bottle for storage.

14 - Done! Seal your bottle of fancy booze, and store it in the fridge (or, if you live somewhere that’s temperate bordering on cool & have access to a root cellar or similar storage location, store it outdoors in the ground away from sunlight as Charles Dickens used to do and as my girlfriend’s mountain-dwelling Welsh family still do).

note: this recipe should taste decent immediately, but the flavour develops when it has more time to really commingle so it’s totally worth coming back to after a month. If you decide you want to experiment and use other boozes & fruits as a base, just keep it acidic and note that some flavours take longer to mellow than others.

[franklyshipping]

Day 3 ~ Christmas 2019 Ego Fanfics

Day 3 here we frickin come people! I hope you're al hungry because now it is time for the all important...Christmas food shopping! LET'S DO IT!

TAGGING: @goog-ler-iplier

Food, glorious food…writing this part is going to make me hungry, I know it. Just thinking about documenting people buying turkey, chicken, bacon, sausages, pigs-in-blankets, beef, eggs, cubes, mince and steaks of meat substitute, potato starch based egg substitute, roasting and baking potatoes, carrots, parsnips, garlic, onions, sprouts, leeks, celery, spinach, spring onions, bell peppers, tomatoes, heavy cream, semi-skimmed and full fat milks, lacto-free milks, almond milk, soya milk, butter, vegan butter, regular and gluten free loaves, baguettes, wraps and flat breads, chicken and beef stocks, sage, thyme, basil, lemons, limes, satsumas, grapes, walnuts, fennel seeds, cumin, vinegar, star anise, salt, black pepper, oils, black and glace cherries, raisins, dates, apples, cranberries, gooseberries, blackberries, redcurrants, figs, cinnamon powder and sticks, nutmeg, ginger, a multitude of flours and sugars, baking powder and soda, inhuman amounts of chocolate and sweets, whipped cream, savoury snacks like crisps, peanuts, cashews, pretzels, crackers, breadsticks, cheeses and pickles, popcorn, candy floss…and then huge amounts of ice cream….is gonna make me hungry.

Then there’s the whole beverage side of things. There are bottles and cans of fizzy sodas, lemonade, ginger ale, ginger beer, tonic water, elderflower presse, apple juice, orange juice, cranberry juice, instant coffee, coffee machine capsules, earl grey tea, peppermint tea, loose leaf tea, generally festive tea, hot chocolate mixes, egg nog, white wine, red wine, rose wine, port, champagne, whiskey, gin, rum, cream liqueur, cans and bottles of beer, vodka….and sparkling water. Damn…it’s a lot. Undoubtedly you’d need somebody with something like a computer for a memory to memorise all of that, purchase it and bring it home in an efficient manner; thank heck for Googleplier. He was on the mission for consumables, along with his VERY excited boyfriend Blankgameplays.

Now, when it came to public places Blank could often get very anxious and uncomfortable…but not this time. On this occasion, not only did he have his sweet blue Google with him, but he also had a task to undertake, a task he’d been looking forward to ever since he’d volunteered to help Google with it. Blank loved shopping, and he also loved Google, so really this was his idea of the perfect morning. He, of course, was in charge of the steadily filling trolley…and was being a tad cheeky with it.

‘Blank! Get back here! You’ll crash the darned thing!’

Google whisper-shouted as he speed-walked down the aisle after his boyfriend, who was giggling as he half-rode the trolley down the aisle, giddily taunting.

‘Cahan’t catch meee can’t catch meheee!’

Google let out a growl under his breath as he sped up into a jog, and Blank’s eyes widened as he let out a surprised squeak when he found that Google had wrapped his arms around him from behind and brought him to a halt.

‘Are you deliberately trying to embarrass me?’

Blank giggled and nibbled his bottom lip at the sound of his boyfriend’s low growl in his ear. Blank turned around so he could face Google, and stood on his tip-toes so he could deliver a kiss to his nose.

‘Maaaaybe.’

Google pursed his lips as he looked down at Blank…damn him with his twinkling eyes and beautiful smile, always making Google unable to truly chastise him for his cheekiness. They returned to their task, collecting more essential items and crossing them off their list….but it didn’t take long for Blank’s mischief to rear its adorable head once more. This time, he was putting things in the trolley that they didn’t require.

‘My love…we do not need paper plates with pink pigs on them.’

‘Awwww c’mooon! Look at them they’re so cute!’

Blank stuck out his bottom lip dramatically, whining when Google put them back on their respective shelf. Google got close to Blank, whispering with a light, playful glare in place.

‘If you put anything else in the trolley that is not on our set list then I shall, with immediate effect, take away your trolley pushing privileges.’

Blank stuck his lip out even more and tried to engage in his puppy eyes, but Google’s glare merely hardened, so Blank submitted….for a little while at least. The rest of the shopping went remarkably smoothly, Blank was giddy of course but he didn’t try to playfully disrupt the task…so Google was under the impression that he was no longer going to be cheeky amidst the shopping. Oh how he was wrong. Blank was merely biding his time, lulling Google into a false sense of security…until they reached the check-out. Then, Blank did the one thing he knew would embarrass Google immensely WITHOUT making him uncomfortable; namely, a great amount of PDA.

‘Baaaabe, can we snuggle lateeer?’

Google’s eyes widened when, just as he’d finished loading their purchasers onto the conveyer, Blank starting hanging off his arm and softly nuzzling his cheek. His face started to turn turquoise as he perceived other customers staring with grins on their faces. Google stammered, wanting to reprimand Blank, but he was getting embarrassed.

‘L-Love….n-not here….’

Blank grinned and giggled, placing a trail of soft, innocent kisses under his jaw, knowing damn well what he was doing to his adorable android. Google’s blush reached his ears as Blank cooed deftly.

‘Whaaat? I’m just showing the world how much I looove you and wanna snuggle yooou!’

Google tried to look down at Blank with a warning in his eyes, but that only made Blank grin wider, god how he loved teasing Google. Google always maintained stoicism, professionalism and perfect composure in every public situation….but Blank lived for when he was blushing and smiling and had no idea what to do with himself because of his developing emotions.

‘Sh-shhh….p-p-people a-are l-looking….’

Google tried to bow his head as he started to smile nervously, whilst Blank merely giggled fondly at him. He was caught between the embarrassment of people watching them and undoubtedly cooing about them, and the sweet enticing nature of his boyfriend’s loving affection. Google could only reason that emotions were….weird. Google gritted his teeth when Blank winked at him though, and despite how flustered he was…Google knew that he wasn’t going to let Blank get away with this. So when it came to checking out, Google packed everything without even bothering to stick to a human pace, whilst Blank continued to smugly stay close to him and relish in what he’d reduced his boyfriend to.

‘You sweeties enjoy the holidays!’

The cashier called after them with a giggle, which made Blank smirk as Google growled. As they left the store with everything bagged in the trolley, Google could feel his embarrassment diminishing…and his need to have vengeance rising. He was similarly inhuman with his speed of loading all their purchases into the car and returning the trolley, and as Blank made to go around to sit in the front passenger seat….Google gripped his forearm.

‘Get into the seat behind mine. Now.’

Blank’s overwhelming smugness….wavered, just a tad, as Blank saw the danger in his Google’s smile. Blank knew he’d been a teasy shit, and on the inside he’d known there were going to be consequences, which was kinda why he’d done it. Google’s consequences were often rather enjoyable. So, Blank decided to maintain his cheeky, boyish grin as he slipped into the back seat behind Google’s driver seat. Then, Google too got into the car, locked it….and proceeded to tint each and every window, and the front and back windscreens so that anyone walking past wouldn’t be able to see in. Blank was analysing Google’s actions with a giddy, yet nervous curiosity…he knew he was in for some kind of punishment, but as of yet he wasn’t sure of what it would entail; so of course, he asked cheekily.

‘Tinting the windows huh? Are gonna make out a little before we head home?’

Google let out a soft laugh through his nose, before cocking his head at Blank and purring.

‘As enjoyable as that sounds, you and I both know that is not what you deserve in this moment. What is going to happen now, is you are going to remove your shoes and socks, and give them to me.’

Blank’s eyes widened. This could only mean one thing, one consequence. His hands and fingers were shaking as he started to blush, not hesitating to comply with his boyfriend’s command. He wordlessly handed his sneakers and black socks over, making Google smile as he took them and set them aside.

‘Good boy, now….’

Blank watched with nervous, curious eyes as Google lifted the head rest up and off of the driver’s seat. His toes curled as Google purred, his azure eyes gleaming behind his spectacles.

‘Feet up.’

Blank complied once more, settling in the back seat as he rested his feet on the top of Google’s seat. He squeaked when Google gripped his ankles and yanked his feet forwards, and Blank hid in his hoodie when he heard Google chuckle…before putting the head rest back onto the seat. The head rest slipped back into place snugly, trapping Blank’s ankles, and leaving his bare feet vulnerable and exposed for whatever Google desired. Google hummed as he observed his boyfriend’s pale, scrunched soles fondly.

‘Do you know what I’m going to do to you?’

Blank nibbled his bottom lip, shivering as he tentatively looked to Google; he whispered meekly.

‘….t-….uh…p-punish me?’

‘Hmm….you are correct, but what is it I am punishing you for?’

Blank was about to open his mouth to answer, when he let out a surprised squeak. Google had begun tracing his soles with all his fingertips, with his eyebrow raised expectantly. Blank understood that Google was still expecting him to answer him, no matter what else was happening. Blank clapped a hand over his mouth as giggles spilled from his lips….oh this was going to be diabolical.

‘I-Ihihit’s b-behecause-ohomygohod….i-ihihit’s….’

Blank let out a light whine, he couldn’t get his words out through his goddamn giggles! Google meanwhile just kept on tracing all over his feet, relishing in the gasps and giggles that he adored so much. Blank’s mirth was utter perfection in Google’s eyes, and he took any and every opportunity to coax it out.

‘Yes dear?’

Blank squeaked and spluttered when Google lightly skittered over the balls of his feet, making Blank scrunch and tug weakly at his trapped feet.

‘P-P-Pleheheeease I-I c-cahan’t t-tahalk lihike thihihis!’

Google cocked his head at Blank softly, smiling with innocent nonchalance as he replied.

‘And yet you still are perfectly coherent. Don’t worry, you can take your time, it’s not like you’re going anywhere.’

Blank threw his head back with his loud giggles as he tugged at his feet more and more, the incessant tickling at the balls of his feet was really affecting the poor guy. Blank knew he had to do everything he could to answer Google’s questions though, it was Google’s thing whenever he tickled, he asked question after question after question like he was doing an experiment.

'Ohohogohod ohohokahay I-I wahas cheheeky!’

Blank squealed out his words as Google lightly raked his nails up and down Blank’s taut, ticklish inner arches. The android smirked, letting out a satisfied hum at his boyfriend’s adorable compliance.

‘That’s right my dear, you were cheeky….very, very cheeky…’

Blank got chills down his spine at Google’s cool, deep tone of voice, and whimpered when Google made his inner-arch tickling devilishly light.

‘Why don’t you list all of the cheeky things you did?’

Blank hit his car seat, the light sensations making him want to curl up and hide away forever as electricity coursed through his body. It took him about a minute of whimpery giggling before he managed to even think about answering, all throughout which Google observed, lovingly. Google adored how ticklish Blank was to even the lightest of touches, it was endearing, and marvellously enjoyable to exploit during moments like this.

‘I-Ihihi r-rahahan wihith the t-trohoholley!’

Google hummed, tracing the wrinkles in the centres of Blank’s scrunched soles.

‘Yes, and?’

Blank softly squealed and hid his face in his hands, his giggling becoming intermingled with soft squeaks and hiccups now; his replies were getting faster too.

‘I-I-Ihihi p-puhut stuhuhuff ihin the troholley wehe d-d-dihidn’t nehEED!’

Blank jumped and yelped when Google sneakily scratched the pad of one of his big toes, which spurred Google to softly trace over both his big toes as he purred evilly.

‘Mmmm, that was particularly cheeky of you….but what was the naughtiest thing you did, hmm?’

Blank’s face was screwed up and his eyes were squeezed shut as colour bloomed on his normally pale face, and his lips spread into a wide, embarrassed grin; the tickling was one thing, but making him talk amidst it all? That’s what made it true tickle torture for Blank.

‘IHI EHEMBARRASSED YOHOHOU!’

Blank was squealing and laughing his head off as Google took time and pleasure over scratching every single pad of every single one of Blank’s little, pale toes. This was the pinnacle of the punishment and Google was going to make sure the punishment wasn’t forgotten in a hurry.

‘Yes, you did. Despite knowing how much public displays of affection cause the human flustered emotion to rise within me, you partook in them with me anyway, for your own naughty amusement….’

Blank let out a shrill wail, tugging at his poor feet desperately as he became more and more teary eyed with every passing second.

‘IHIHI’M SAHARRY!’

Google hummed, casting his gaze over his precious, writhing boyfriend with tender amusement dancing in his eyes. He kept tickling his toes deftly as he leant towards him a tad, purring.

‘Sorry for what exactly?’

Google raised a brow amidst his query, and that teasiness on top of the tickling just brought Blank to his adorable limit.

‘EHEHEVERYTHIHING! AHAHALL OHOF IHIIIT!’

At Blank’s high-pitched wail, Google reasoned that Blank had received an adequate amount of punishment in relation to his cheekiness during their extended errand, so he had mercy. He efficiently released his boyfriend’s feet, and chuckled amusedly when Blank immediately set about bringing his legs close to his chest. Blank was giggling residually and embarrassedly into his knees, but peeked form his hiding spot when he felt a warmth settle on one of his hands.

‘Are you alright?’

Blank melted at the softness of Google’s voice, and looked to see that Google had placed one of his hands on one of his and was rubbing his knuckles tenderly. Blank wordlessly nodded with a bashful smile, and leant forward so he could kiss the android’s hand. Google chuckled fondly, and was about to suggest that make-out session that Blank had previously brought up….when they both suddenly heard a disgruntled gurgle come from the car’s cup-holders. They both looked, and Blank giggled when he saw Gooper lightly squirming.

‘Ohoops, dihidn’t see ya there bud…’

Blank giggled whilst Gooper gurgled once more, this time for a tad longer. Google hummed as he listened to the slightly drowsy creature, before smiling to his boyfriend in amusement.

‘It seems he is displeased at being so roughly awoken from his naptime, but he is happy to take your socks as compensation. He wants to snuggle them.’

Blank spluttered and let out a snort, before picking up his socks and softly tucking them into the cup-holders with Gooper, who purred in thanks before settling down in the new warmth to resume his nap. Meanwhile, the make-out session was put on hold….for the half an hour it took for them to get back home, deposit their purchases, and for Google to carry his cute, barefoot human to their privacy.

WOOOO DAY NUMBER 3 COMPLETE, LEMME KNOW IF YOU GUYS ENJOYED IT WOOO LYV YOUS XX