#projects for a long weekend
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What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 4 + Familect (article)
#dan and phil#amazingphil#daniel howell#danisnotonfire#phil lester#this idea has been cooking in my brain for literally MONTHS but this weekend was literally the first day off i've had since JANUARY#which is so cruel and unusual don't get me started but anyways#and also the first time they haven't dropped something unhinged that i felt compelled to run through photoshop#also it took forever because originally i was going to do all the WDAPTEOs so like i pulled clips from 2 3 and 4#and didn't end up using any of the ones i pulled from 2 and 3 so guess i just wasted some time there#so it didn't take me actually as long to put together the actual set but like i spent a solid 5 hours working on the general project#tbf though the videos are 20 minutes long so like an hour was just watching to get the time stamps#and i didnt want to miss one by putting it on higher playback speed bc some of them are really quick#well congrats if you made it this far in my fucking tags essay about this post#this is like a 'stick around after the episode for a look behind the scenes' segment#hexagifs
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I'm at the brink of a suicidal breakdown. I've been waiting to get my paycheck from an illustration job I've done last October 2023, I did ask them about it and said that I would get paid on the 27th. It's the 28th and I still don't see any updates on my end. I've gotten my hopes up for so long, every month since and I've burnt the fuck out from waiting.
I've been refraining myself from eating and buy myself stuff like food and toiletries and I've completely ran out of money to survive. I wish i could accept commissions but I haven't been doing great mental and physical wise and I don't have the means to draw other than a few sketches to cheer myself up. I'm completely burnt out.
If you could help spread this around I would appreciate it, every bit helps at least to cover my necessities for a while until I hope to eventually get paid
I'm sorry for asking for donations so frequently I just can't hold on for much longer in this state
Donations and reblogs are appreciated, thank you
#personal#i hate asking for help but the other option rn for my depressed ass is to kill myself and no one wants that#i just dont understand why its taking so long. i already was told ill be paid at the 22nd but then after waiting through the whole weekend#they tell me its supposed to be on the 27th. it was a typo#now its the 28th and i dont even see it#am i really gonna get paid. this is souring my experience working here. i do have a project to work on but all i can think of is dying#my sister helped me out a bit but she cant even do much bc she got out of surgery a few weeks ago and doesnt earn much#she also has rent and gas to cover for her new job#mads if youre reading this thank you for helping me at that low point when she got into the hospital. i owe you so much already#i feel indebted
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A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........
Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!
mmezzy.bigcartel.com
#klance#halloween au#im projecting on the internet my own impostor syndrome#i feel that im awful and should be learning how to draw instead of writing shitty fics#and when i want to write a post and share a little doodle or smth - 'sorry' is right between the lines and its so frustrating#like???? nobody probably cares#im either here or im not#and if i need to finish that little abomination of a fic then so be it you'd think people wouldnt mind too much#and would still want to listen to my captions and see whatever silly doodle however silly it is as long as its true#..............but what if its all redundant#what if i cant draw after i had to flip my entire routine upside down#and will forever chase a thrill of feeling like a prolific artist and it will be always out of reach now#what if people scroll past my art and feel nothing now#what if world is filled with people who kinda hate klance but stay out of reflex and not bc its their deeply routed source of comfort#what if i reached an artistic plateau and will never be good enough#what if this is the limit of my 'talent'#what if i will forever love the projects i want to share but will always hate the execution of it wanting to fix it fix it fix it learn mor#i keep reading the little notes i get on orders#some screenshots i saved#i find good words and opinions and love letters to art as a whole#and i feel insufficient#subpar#i drew a comic about it to an old poem and still havent finished it#there is a point of trying your best when it stops feeling like a challenge and feels like a failure#its the moment where you keep going of course#and yet#there are emotions im sure nobody shares on social media bc we just try to get through them#but who else will take it better than tumblr tags#either way if im less around its because im dealing with creational self-hatred and artistic ambitions#but on the other hand arent all artists like that? i ran out of tag space btw have an awesome weekend
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Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
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Do you think bugs fall in love?
Their small bodies host even tinier brains. Built to crawl through soil and rocks bigger than itself. Running on a simple software bouncing between eat, sleep, fight, flight, and copulate.
V1 is smarter than a bug. It must be. It’s a war machine, so it must be. Its programming is complex enough to fry several motherboards; the internals are heated from constant, unrelenting processing needs. If it updates its optical data intake to any greater degree than these rough, messy polygons, it’d surely perish from the overwhelming information.
V1 is built to kill first, survive second. To be fair, survival would ensure more killing, so it’d be more effective. Moving through the battlefield, culling lives, drawing blood. Perfectly aligned with its programmed objectives, then.
Gabriel is smarter than a bug. He must be. He’s an angel, so he must be. He’s one of the best soldiers in the heavenly realm. Armour and swords glistened with pride and justice. He sees all. He judges all. His loyalty and perfect track record have earned him a high rank within the order. Leaving behind the creaturely "it". His light burns hot and bright within his constitution.
Gabriel is built as a messenger of the Father, then a judge of Hell. To be fair, the role of a judge was assigned to him by the council, so he supposes that his placement can be summed up as the bearer of the divine authority to bring right to all other creatures. Perfectly aligned, then.
Bugs… Well, they’re the same. I suppose. Small beings. Running pre-programmed orders derived from centuries of evolution: eat, sleep, fight, flight, and copulate. No role. No responsibilities.
Bugs are built naturally and fully, unlike humankind; but formed and ready to go within seconds from their births, like machines and angels.
So. Do they live?
When the machine and the angel escape their chains, do they see themselves in bugs?
Bugs are born to live, temporarily, fleetingly, yet live nonetheless. Do they, then, deserve to live, freeing and meaninglessly. No role. No responsibilities.
So. Do bugs love?
Do they learn that they can go beyond their basic structures? Do they see their own reflection in each other’s compound eyes? Do they recognize each other’s bodies, scents, heat? Do they feel the desire for closeness?
To flutter wings like a dance of waltz. To brush antennae like butterfly kisses. To greet and caress and lie next to each other near their death.
To move through the sky in battle, in passion. To clash swords and fists and bullets. To greet and caress and lie next to each other near their death.
The same cells in the same blood coursing beneath the same suit of exoskeletons.
Machine, angel, bug. Boiled down to the barest essence of existence; crisp simplicity.
To live, to love.
#(im thinking abt how angels have a default pronoun of it/its and went insane – they’re so bugs; like machine)#v1 ultrakill#ultrakill#gabv1el#gabriel ultrakill#az thoughts#also if this flops im flinging myself into the sun#is this any good; is it; is it <- desperate#im just really tired rn i think; its fine#wrote between lectures; thought abt queueing but whatever its fine#got like 4 group projects and a giant assignment and no free time during the last weekend i am fine i am fine i am fine#its fine for me to write Things instead of working on stuff this is destressing its fine#i need to be spun in a washing machine and left on a hanger to dry for approximately 12 hours and then ironed for way too long#<- going insane but in a bad way#someone pls take me out (date or murder; surprise me)
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Carbonation angel
AKA the first thing you see after nearly drowning while being attacked by an entire room of evil killer grampa clones
#🎃 Cryptid sighting#rccc 2023#RCCC#HLVRAI cosplay#Tommy Coolatta#🎃 Photographic evidence#I’m gonna crash soon (and do this all again tomorrow- though prob not in cosplay since I didn’t finish the headcrab zombie)#But it was a good day at con#And if the other con guest who recognized me from my DIY Black Mesa passport blog sees this-#-that legit blew my mind & means a lot!!! I was in that brain fog of being out in the vendor hall so I don’t know if I got it across-#- but meeting someone who knew me from here & that project made my weekend!!!#Misadventures around Portland#Also I’m embarrassed that it took this long for me to think of framing a photo w/OCC’s Foucault pendulum as a halo#Also also Starry would make a perfect name for Sunkist’s puppy. Just sayin’#‘Um … do you want a soda?’
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#ugh. fuck me im so tired. im getting sucked back into that workaholic mindset and now my body hurts and my nerves are fying. but it feels#good to b productive. if only i didnt have to teach and could just work with data :-(#anyway. the last 2 weeks have been good in that i feel like im actually hitting my stride a bit#bc we're seeing cool things in our genomes and its gonna b really fun to explore. and i met with the terrifying#prof who is on my committee to pitch a project for a final in her class and it seems it went over well. it was kinda funny bc we were#meeting and she was like: so how would u tell which gene was lost 1st? the phytochrome or the genes that r triggered by activation? and i#was like: uhhhhh idk. and then my advisor walked by and she grabbed him and asked him the same question and he was like: idk we'll have to#figure it out. which made me feel way better abt not knowing lol. then my superior lab mate asked me a question abt taking confocal images#and i was actually able to figure out what her issue was. and my old advisor was asking me if i knew anyone to ask for using a pam on cyanos#and i was like: here is what i think my advisor would say and linked her a paper. then i asked my advisor and he said what i expected and#linked the paper that id already sent. so im like. ok. ok. maybe i actually sometimes do kno what im doing. sorta.#and then my old advisor said she was so proud of me. and i was like aw. its so funny bc my relationship is so different with my new advisor#hes great but its all very professional. with my old advisor i would text her after hours bc she was a workaholic like me and went on long#car rides and handed out Halloween candy with her. she was more hands on and doesnt have kids so work is her life. its just interesting#so things have been going well. but there arent enough hours in the day. and my committee meeting is in like 16 days. and i am afraid for#that but not as afraid as i was in april when i had a full on breakdown and canceled it the day before it was set to happen lol#itll b fine. i just have to work thru the weekend so i can get my preproposal done. and prey that the fucking splitstree download site will#start working bc i want to do gene networks dammit#unrelated
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I will not be able to participate in reguri wk and it is devistating to me I’ve been so sad
Pls everyone enjoy it so much for me, we chose many beautiful themes for this season, I hope u all can enjoy creating for them! 😞🩷
#stupid stupid stupid work I wanna cry#i have been buried in work and each time I think there is a relief a surprise new project#I haven’t had weekend or nights off in so long
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THIS IS NOT A DRILL: WORDS ARE ON THE PAGE >:3
#it's been a stressful month (two months?)#I am finally writing again omg it's just been. hectic. sghjfdk#gotta love a messy vampire to get you back into a swing of things. porter beloved <3#but also. I miss my original project!!!#i have a long weekend coming up#for hiking and spending time with friends#and some time to read and write >:3#tmi#needed a cheerier personal post omg
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It had been a hot second since I saw your art on my dash so I went snooping to see what I missed and!!!!! I just gotta gush about your sense of design (especially in the posters/poster style comps!!) it's SO strong and SO cool you've got such a good eye for shape and composition it's fantastic!!!!!!
Hope you have a nice day c:
thank you so much!! this is so sweet, it really made my day to wake up to this in my inbox <3
i always have a ton of fun with the more graphic/painted-style pieces! i wish i had time to do more of them, honestly. i have too many IDEAS and so a lot of stuff i make is quite loose and sketchy because it's the quickest way to get the idea out before moving on to something else. but there's also something really rewarding about investing time in the bigger pieces and hashing out the composition and colours and values and all that other stuff. (and it makes my day every time to get complimented on it, haha! makes all the hard work feel worth it.)
i'm still working (slowly!) on the tarot-themed pieces, so as a bonus here's the rough sketch for Bobby's card (the Chariot):
#it's such a fun project! gotta set aside more time to pick it back up#i remember not totally vibing with this sketch at first but actually i'm liking it a lot more now#so hey good news! maybe i'll give it another pass over the long weekend#thanks again!#ask
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After three decades of mortal struggle I finally defeated the First Nemesis, Lady Hands. While tackling her younger sisters, Perspective and Composition, I got sneak-attacked by mother of all final bosses - THE BACKGROUND.
--- ko-fi // redbubble
#long holiday weekend = hyperfixating on one image for 3 days until my back gives out#I forgot to eat too#how do people enjoy painting landscapes it's the worst kind of punishment for me#dropping this here as per record because I know I won't finish this project before my death even if I get to live another 400 years#digital art#art#manga#anime#myart:original#original art#concept art#fantasy illustration#fantasy art#high fantasy#hollow#original story#art project
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I still feel like i have a lot more research to do before i set plans in motion... but i think my Lady Stede costume is a toss up between a robe a la francaise or a robe a l'anglaise. (the design comes down to whether im wanting watteau pleats, essentially)
from what i can see, most the dresses in the show (or the ones im looking to take inspiration from anyway) are francaise- Evelyn's dress & Mary's wedding dress clearly have the back pleats. but. the yellow dress Mary wears when she shows stede the painting (and Stede the boat) sparks the most inspiration in me, and ive watched the clips numerous times, and i dont think? it has pleats.
basically what im saying is the costumes in the show are a little inconsistent and also vary the style up, so im not bound to any one style. historically, im thinking that the people in Barbados would be drawing more of their styles from England, rather than France, but i still dont think that actually limits me, just something to consider in my research.
things i know i want:
engagantes (sleeve ruffles)
a decent amount of trim (though not too much, as none of stedes costumes are that ott)
a contrast stomacher (which means it needs to be open front, i think?)
...and thats as far as ive made it. all superficial things really, but important points to look for when im looking extants, i guess.
(some images from the show to show what im thinking about)
(& a francaise and l'anglaise if youre completely lost on what they are)
this is all day 1 research, so i have a good ways to go before i really start to understand my options, but id love an opinion on what you think?
#if youve missed precious chatter abt this project! its based on stedes iconic blue suit#i have a plain blue for the base fabric and some other ones as stomacher options to mimic the waistcoat alreadyyy#i feel like francaise is the way to go. but i cant stop thinking about that yellow dress dude#i guess i should also think about con transport too. hm#a nightmare either way i think#the more i stare at that gif though (sorry 4 the quality i used tumblr generator from a youtube clip lol) it kinda? looks like shes got a#bum roll going on. hm#i wasnt planning on it n i dont think its appropriate for the inspi i was looking for anyway#the pleats def remove the need for that#and the no pleats seems to tuck in quite tight#honestly though. not too much faith taken in the costuming in this show. its vibes#and i love the vibes#but its making this bit hard#Lady Stede Build#<project tag :)#also today i learnt. evelyn has more than one dress. thats pretty cool#firsy i thought she had interchangeable stomachers. which is honestly cooler to me#thank u for tuning into todays ramble. im excitedddd#sorry 4 any incoherence. long weekend
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WAR IS (MOSTLY) OVER!!!!!!!! RAGHHHHHHH
THERES STILL 3 FINALS LEFT BUT THE HARDEST ONES ARE DONE 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
#sho.scramblin#im gonna take a big long nap the whole weekend since the project based finals are done and its just in-studio ones monday and tuesday#anywho#turns into a cloud of dust
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🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
#I went outside today and socialized#and I presented 3 projects at work this week#I’ll be doing nothing but sleeping this weekend lmao#anyways. had to finish this long ass week w a delicious cheeseburger from lbw and it was amazing#me
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oh yeah im despondent btw it's just that i've been despondent like definitely since november and honestly since september so like this is just a final nail in the coffin of well i never got anything i wanted and i just have to live with that
#bell.txt#i'm like so profoundly disappointed and sad over how everything has shook out and over how royally it fucked my specific povs#but also its been happening for so long that its like well a cherry bomb on top of a shit sundae i suppose#and also i hate the way everyone else talks about this shit its just so annoying and lame to me#fandom doesnt end because a thing doesnt have current content/has ended. thats not how fandom works#and melodramatic goodbye/im not going anywhere messages just really irritate me#i like these characters i like these dynamics i liked (past tense intentional) the overall narrative and lore#im gonna keep talking about them regardless of the status of the project#idk anyway im just bummed out but also its a long weekend and i want to eat chocolate and vodwatch and keep writing stuff#so whatever
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hey! i'm really looking forwards to seeing how link rot progresses, it looks like such a cool world. i know this might be asking a lot, but do you have an rss feed set up for the site? due to timezones + working hours i often miss update notifications on tumblr/etc, and i'd hate to lose track of this. (if you can't set rss up on neocities, do you have a tag on tumblr that you'd use for updates that i can follow instead?)
i'm currently setting up an RSS feed! not sure when it'll be done, but its near the top of my priorities as an RSS enjoyer. for now, i'll tag updates with '#link rot updates' for the ease of tracking.
i'll let you know when i get everything set up!!
#amazingakita#inquiries#its my non-writing/art related project rn though so ideally it wont take too long. i'll see if i can hammer it out before the weekend
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