#I need them to be as weird about each other as possible

[absolutedestinyapocalypsse]

Okay I think we need to get on the same page. By "perfect lyctorhood" I did NOT mean a version of lyctorhood that I, the reader, think is perfect in that it's ethical and good and everyone is happy and gonna ride off into the sunset. I meant a version of lyctorhood where both the necromancer and cavalier are intact, in seperate bodies, and alive.

FOR THE RECORD, I was pointing out similarities between characters who have come close/achieved it with Harrow and Gideon, and pointing out a pattern of John saying something is impossible, only for Harrow to do it with Gideon anyway. I just think when its established that everyone in history is trying to do X thing and many have come close but none have succeeded, the natural conclusion is that someone's gonna figure it out before the series is over.

HOWEVER!!! I don't think this is necessarily going to be a happy ending. For one, the series tells us at every moment possible that Immortality SUCKS. For all of HTN we are brain blasted with the worst most foul found family known to man because they are simply too old and unkillable to be normal to each other. We watch a man who was once so hellbent on not leaving any humans behind that he became an enemy of the state become a shell of himself, at best neutral to the billions of senseless deaths he causes and, at worst, happy about it.

In contrast, the most content, loving, and fulfilled character in the series is alive for all of six months. Nona knows she's gonna die, and she loves anyway! It's this beautiful interrogation of eternal life as a religious reward for good behavior. Yeah, maybe sounds good on paper, but what would you do that would make you happy for forever? Especially if your religion taught you to sacrifice your own self worth or ignore the personhood of others in order to achieve eternity. How are you gonna spend your time? Doing the same shit you did just to get there, probably. And chances are, it'll make you miserable.

We KNOW normal lyctorhood sucks in that it's necessarily exploitative. Culture in the nine houses has justified and draped pretty lace around what is essentially raising people to be so subservient that they let themselves become human batteries. Because of how ghoulish this is, it's easy to assume that perfect lyctorhood would be a good, ethical alternative. But just because both people are alive doesn't mean there can't still be abuse and exploitation! In fact, in the ONLY example of someone actually becoming a perfect lyctor, John does it to Alecto against her will! And THEN because he can't kill her, he imprisons her in the tomb. Doesn't sound like a very fun religious tier reward to me but idk!!!

So basically, there is no ethical lyctorhood under capitalism. In the best case scenario where the necromancer doesn't subjugate the cavalier, they're still alive FOREVER, every year getting farther and farther away from what made them human. Maybe they end up like Augustine and Mercymorn, with all their conflicts over the years congealing into a weird toxic occasional hate sex misogyny-fuelled situationship. Maybe they never speak again and have to spend the rest of forever completely alone.

Point is, as much of a relief as it would be to see Gideon and Harrow in the same room again, I don't think perfect lyctorhood is a happy ending for anyone. I have no doubt in my mind that they're gonna do it, but i have a LOT of doubts about what fresh hell it's gonna wreak when they do.

if the locked tomb doesnt end with gideon and harrow both alive and whole having achieved perfect lyctorhood i will eat my own hat.

alecto and john are the only perfect lyctors right? alecto, who is made of several million dead people, and john who is god. youre telling me that harrow "made of 300 dead babies" nonagesimus and gideon, whose dad is god, aren't gonna do it? youre telling me harrow's biological ancestor is the only saint to never become a lyctor because she came so close to figuring it out that her cavalier was killed to prevent it. you're talking about harrow, who opened the tomb at ten with nothing but sheer determination and accidentally getting a little bit of god blood under her nails and gideon, who we keep being told cannot and will not die, won't end up alive? is that what you're saying? bc john says two things are impossible; opening the tomb and perfect lyctorhood. but those are only two things and Harrow already did one of em. does she seem like a quitter to you?

[lapdoodlebop]

Stole A Breath

A small little ace x reader drabble I made! it was supposed to be part of a series but then it got out of hand and slowly stopped becoming part of what I originally intended. Not proofread!!

————————————————————————

What sorta loser gets all sweaty when they start holding hands with their crush?' Little does Ace know that he IS that sorta loser, as much as he'd loathe to admit it.

Don't get him wrong. When the two of you become friends, it's nothing to bat an eye over for him. Pats on the back for getting test scores that would send any student spiraling? You guys shared those all the time.

Playful hair ruffles for when either of you say something stupid? He's already messing up your hairdo despite your constant complaints. The sight of you taking his hand while you're pushing through the halls of a bustling crowd isn't even uncommon. You two became best friends in a flash, with physical affection as easy as breathing air.

But all the sudden, it's gotten a bit harder to not choke around you.

————————————————————————-

You and Ace just got out of class, and already swarms of students was taking up every bit of surface possible. There's not even a special occasion, maybe other than a special lunch deal that's been plastered on the walls as posters. Ace clicks his tongue; he's interested to try the new breakfast sandwich on the menu, but he's not sure he wants to weave through hangry, desperate students for it. Thats when you seem to cut off his airflow.

“Come on,” you wordlessly raise your hand and take his before he can get a chance to breathe.

Your fingers are a lot softer than he gave credit for. Did you have some sort of deal with Vil for moisturizer or something? It’d explain why he feels the need to feel your palm at least one time and at most a dozen or two dozen. And your grip is firm, but it’s so gentle too. The way it’s wrapped around his own rougher fingers suddenly has him praying he doesn’t have sweaty palms. He doesn’t, right? That would be so lame. But you haven’t complained yet. You shouldn’t, y-you’re the one that initiated all the skin contact, not him!

His cheeks pinken, eyebrows furrowed as the corners of his mouth twitch into a dismayed expression. What the hell was he thinking? This wasn’t any different from all the other times you took his hand.

So why can’t he follow a single word you’re saying? Something about the cafeteria and cats and sandwiches, he can’t even remember what he wanted right now. Sure the crowd’s a lot bigger than expected, he’s getting pushed against you and his chest bumping into your back is causing him to choke on what little breath he has, b-but that’s a given! Great Seven, he never pays attention in class but this is ridiculous. His eyes keep looking from the back of your head to the hand you interconnected with his, slotted like a puzzle piece waiting to be complete. His hand (all on its own, that’s what he’ll tell you) turns to hold yours (his ‘lead me away’ doesn’t sound so sarcastic anymore when it’s for you). The casual squeeze you give him back sends him further than he thought, goosebumps suddenly running under his sleeve and across his arm. His breath catches in his throat again and now he has to breathe manually before he forgets to.

And then, an idea hits him. A stupid, stupid idea.

You have to be thinking the same thing, right? That’s why this feels so weird. You two are on the same wavelength so often that you must be somehow projecting your thoughts into his own. That HAS to be the reason! It’s totally not him trying to save face over the fact he’s becoming the guy clamoring over one bit of contact from a person he thinks is kinda (really) nice to look at and kinda (really) nice to be around and he wouldn’t mind hanging out with them (forever, in a space together, seeing each other all the time and more).

The butterflies twirling around in his stomach must be what you’re experiencing too, certainly not caused by how you turned back and smiled at him, him of all people you share your smile with all the time as if it was reserved for him only. You must think the same about the wry smile he’s giving you back, one that holds a little too much affection than he wishes he held. He’s pretty great, right? At least, he hopes you think he’s great..

The cafeteria’s a lot closer than he thought. When you guys get there, he lets out the air you kept hostage from him. But now he’s definitely teasing you for wanting to be so close to him afterwards. Taking his hand and dragging him around, no shame in being interested y’know!

That night, unfortunately, he’s clutching his pillow against his reddening face, scowling at the idea that he wouldn’t mind you dragging him around like that on a date.

[crowley-winter-boots]

Instead of humouring the messages in the screenshot, I would like to make a post regarding people who think this way. DO NOT LOOK FOR THIS INDIVIDUAL OR HARASS THEM. I know people like to jump the gun and do that online, so please don't bother with it. I am making this post to address, that you can in fact, still protest without attending mass protests and that not everyone is able to attend those mass protests.

(*Notice how I didn't "name call", I said "I won't reply anymore as I'm PRETTY SURE you're trolling." I was making an observation based on past experiences, and I'm still convinced they were only saying this to cause problems.)

You CAN still protest without going to larger protests. Its OKAY if you can't attend those large protests.

Here are some ways you can help out if you're unable to go to a protest!

Spread the word

One of the best ways to get people to attend is to tell other people about it! The more people that know, the more that can know when and where to show up.

Find a way that fits you to do something as an individual

There are a few ways you can go about this, but here is what I've personally been doing:

- I've been wearing a pride flag to school. Specifically, the trans flag. Pride flags banned from hanging up in schools? Nothing in the dress code that denies it. It will make people angry and confused, but it will also make people like you feel seen. I've had a lot of negative reactions from students and teachers alike, but there have been fellow queer kids who walk up to me and talk to me about my flag, often saying they wish they had one of their own. I'm planning on painting "WE THE PEOPLE" on it soon (I was going to this weekend, but there was too much going on and I didn't want to start a project I couldn't finish before school on Monday.)

- Make a battle vest (or any other punk fashion, such as crust pants!) I've been working on mine, and will post the patches and progress soon. I've been meaning to make one for a while for myself, but put it off until recently. I'll also make a post going more into detail on how you can make punk fashion yourself, and the ideology of punks.

**PLEASE NOTE. Both of these can be dangerous. Especially wearing a pride flag, as there is't anything that can make it safer. With the punk fashion, there are ways to make it safer, and I'll go more into detail on that on my other post: but essentially, you don't want any political statements or pride flags on the back. You won't see anyone coming, and they'll be less likely to attack you if they see it from the front.

Talk to local activist groups to set one up in your area

I'm not too sure about how this process works, as I haven't yet contacted any local activist groups to set up a protest. I'm not even sure if that's how you CAN set up a protest, but I asked around and this was the answer I had gotten. I'll make an update once I figure out how to set up a protest and if I personally was able to (and the details of the protest, ofc!)

Make signs or stickers to post in your community

There are a lot of ways you can make signs and/or stickers! I've never made a sign myself, so you'll have to do the research yourself for that, but you could make them as flyers with paper as well. But with stickers, they're relatively easy to make! I sold some for a while, and made about $250 off of it in just a few weeks by selling them on my school campus. You just need a pack of sticker paper (GLOSSY makes it shiny, MATTE makes it flat like printer paper,) a printer, and some kind of art app to import your images on. Fitting stickers is like a jigsaw puzzle- you'll need to rotate them at weird angles and fit any nook into any cranny. Find patterns, repeating patterns will make the process easier. The goal is to have as little white space as possible- but that being said, leave enough room between each sticker to give a solid border. A common mistake I made when I first started making stickers was overlapping the edges.

Join communities online

Discord servers are a good way to find online communities for people who want to oppose the American government! I am in a server that shares resources, information, protest days, and more. I can share the link in DMs, and you can also look online to find more.

Start a social media platform

That's what my blog is for! I'm posting online as a form of protest. There are a number of social media platforms (except Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok....) that you can advocate on. I do believe Tumblr and YouTube are the safest ones, and therefore have the biggest communities on there.

Buy banned books

THESE WON'T BE SOLD ANYMORE, SOON. They are information and knowledge the government is afraid of. The Diary of Anne Frank is on the list, which just goes to show how far they're going in this. They know they're fascists. They know America is going through the same beginning stages of a fascist dictator's overtake of a country. You can find a lot of these secondhand before they're gone. Find PDFs online of the books and download them in a place they can't be deleted. Physical copies are much better to have as they can't be taken away.

Pirate and get physical copies of music

Alphatron, FMovies, those are good sites for live action. WCO.tv is a good site for cartoons (and as far as I know, perfectly legal online archive!)

Learn how to burn CDs. Collect CDs. Collect vinyl records. And please, for the love of the Gods, DON'T USE SPOTIFY. I used Spotify because it was the easiest option for me, but they financially supported Trump's campaign. I switched to YouTube Music. Even the free version of Spotify supports the company- every song you listen to and every advertisement you sit through puts more coins into their bank account. I also have a vinyl collection I've been growing for 3-4 years. I'm thinking about learning how to burn CDs and get a Walkman (I currently don't have money, but I'm looking to get a job soon.) Like with the banned books, physical copies are the best. They'll have to pry it from your cold, dead hands.

That's all I have for now!! Feel free to add onto this with your own ways to protest and/or additional information from what I've already put.

[audliminal]

It's Just a Game, Right? Pt 2 Redux

Masterpost

"Okay, so. Like I said before, the first video is pretty basic.” Bernard tells Tim. He’s got his laptop perched on his lap and Tim leans into him as he clicks play.

He’s not wrong, either. The video in front of him looks like it was made with movie maker software from at least a decade ago. Hell, Tim’s pretty sure he remembers using a couple of those transitions in elementary school projects. The background remains stagnant, for the most part, with just the pictures at the center of the screen and the text beneath them changing. The pairing pretty obviously is supposed to be a caption for the videos, but the letters are a jumbled mess. Still, it feels familiar.

“Yeah, that’s definitely a Caesar cipher,” Tim mutters. He’s seen enough of them used by shitty two-bit rogues to recognize the patterns on instinct. It’s a bit harder to determine the exact amount of shift just by looking – especially since the shift amount seems like it’s changing on the different captions. Presumably the ciphers have already been solved, so Tim turns his attention away from them for a moment.

Looking around the screen, he can spot hints of distortion against the blank background. It’s blurry, almost invisible to the naked eye, but there’s not really any reason for it to be there naturally.

“The background looks weird,” Tim says.

“Oh yeah, there’s a text overlay on the video. It’s real blurry but somebody identified it as a poem. Something by Emily Dickinson; I don’t remember what the name was, though.”

“Hmmm. Did anyone recognize the song?” It sounds off, but it doesn’t seem to be random notes either. In fact, Tim almost feels like he could hear it on the radio.

“Yeah, a couple people recognized it as Space Oddity, only its been transcribed in a different key. There’s also some random discordant notes in there, too.”

“Heavily modified audio. Doesn’t sound like it’s poor quality, though.”

“True.”

They let the video finish playing. It’s not very long; they were probably timing the visuals to the song, rathen than the other way around. Tim stares at the finished video for a few moments. He’s never really had time for ARGs before. They weren’t exactly very big when he was younger, and now he spends so much time solving rogue shit and actual crimes that he doesn’t really need to go seeking out more puzzles to solve.

“So?” Bernard prompts. “What do you think?”

Honestly, the vibes aren’t the best. It’s clearly intended to be creepy in a way that’s probably exciting for most people, but just sort of reminds Tim of a rogue.

"I can see why you called it basic," Tim says.

“Yeah, it really didn’t seem like it was gonna be much at first.”

“Okay what does the decoded text say?”

"Here," Bernard switches tabs, to an impressive document with screenshots of the actual video, and loads of color-coded notes. “This is a copy of the community document so far.” Tim leans in, and considers the transcriptions.

Honestly, the transcriptions seem pretty basic, too. They’re all simple captions; just a name for the person or location in the image, and some semblance of a date. Notes next to each transcription denote the cipher used. First, a shift of four, then twenty-five, then seven, then nineteen. It’s a simple trick, scrambling the cipher between captions. Even without a key, Caesar ciphers are pretty easy to solve – there’s only ever going to 25 possible solutions, after all. Changing up the key ensures that it takes a lot longer to solve.

“Odd choice of content, too, honestly?” Tim says. It seems so simple, so benign, in comparison to the upsetting music.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, imagine if a novel started with that. They’ve literally made their first video just about names and setting.”

“Huh. Yeah, that is odd.”

Tim lets Bernard consider that, and turns back to look at the document. It’s pretty obvious from the lack of mention of a solution path that they brute forced it. Which, that could be the intended method of solution, but there could also be a key hidden somewhere in the video. Possibly, that’s the point of the poem, or of the music choice. But either of those are something that’ll take further looking into.

Tim may have taken a few years of piano lessons as a kid, but he’s certainly not capable of transcribing music himself, so he’ll probably have to hire someone for that. The document also names the poem as A lane of Yellow led the eye. Tim sits up, reaching out to pull the laptop towards him.

“I’ll see if I can’t get someone more musically gifted to look at the audio. For now, I wanna know more about that poem.”

[blueraith]

I honestly don't even believe these dipshits actually like Maddie as a character. She's just their instrument to deliver even more bullshit onto a character they hate with a raging, irrational, and ridiculous passion

Which is why there's probably no arguing them from this insane and disgusting take. Imagine comparing Maddie to Monica Lewinsky. Imagine reducing actual victims of the MeToo movement in order to directly compare them to a fictional character who is a spy, traitor, and near murderer. Who purposely and deliberately lied by omission to the supposed 'superior' in their sexual relationship in order to manipulate her, gain information, and be in prime position to assassinate her if necessary.

All to spin up online clout because they're so terminally online that they cannot handle being disappointed by a piece of media they previously enjoyed, refuse to move on even months after the fact, and rile themselves up so badly that they start to wholesale make shit up and deliberately co-opt very real and serious real life movements about things like SA or genocide to act morally superior towards normal, well adjusted fans of that media.

I'm gonna go there. Y'all aren't normal. There is something wrong with you if you're choosing to spend your day like this. Therapy should be something you should look into. No one is going to coddle you and your weird issues if your bullshit leaks out of your echo chamber. We do not like you. You are not welcome in the fandom. And I hope you are made uncomfortable enough to either leave the fandom entirely, or at the very least, go back under your miserable rock to yap delusionally at each other.

Note, I am not talking about people who simply dislike specific characters or the show itself. Particularly if you actually can base your criticism in the source material. I might not want to engage, personally because I'm just in "enjoy the blorbos" mode right now, but that wouldn't be personal on my part at all whatsoever.

This is specifically directed towards gross, ugly people who are deliberately acting as inflammatory as possible because they have sort of anti-social issue they need to address. Whatever it may be, it's not up to us in the community to cater, coddle, or humor them. Take responsibility for your own issues.

Okay so to be clear so far the anti-Caitlyn people watched the same show we did, and came away with the following impressions collectively that I’ve seen:

1. She murdered countless Zaunites including chidren

2. She looks down on Vi

3. She never showed remorse

4. She went dark only because her mother died

5. She staged a coup in order to lead the strike team

6. She was just using Vi in season 1

7. When her mother died she “immediately” went dark

8. Her going dark after everything that happened was unjustified because she’s rich

9. Ambessa’s manipulation didn’t factor into her arc at all

10. She me too’d Maddie

……. And they wonder why we question their media literacy

[rogueddie]

Popstar Steve who gets strangely offended when the media accurately reports on how he and Robin are "just friends" and... yeah, they're not wrong, but they're both so tied at the hip, soulmates, connected in a way that's inescapable and irreversible...

He goes on a weird rant that people meme but the media starts calling Robin his sister. He'll take what he can get.

[necrotic-nephilim]

jealousy really is the driving force of DamiTim as a ship. love that for them. love how Tim has the Robin mantle ripped away from him and he has to suffer the jealousy of watching Dick and Damian bond. how possessive over Dick Tim can be, to have him stolen by Dick.

even more so though, is the jealousy from Damian. how on earth do you cope when you finally get to be Robin, a role you've convinced is your birthright, and no one really likes you? every prefers the Robin who came before you? Dick regularly reminds you that he can always go and call Tim back when you act out? like the complex Damian has over Tim is unreal. Tim, who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and had everything handed to him his whole life. he never had to struggle or fight for his place like Damian did. Damian has spent his whole life fighting and proving himself, and yet he can't ever seem to truly claw the mantle of Robin away from Tim. even when Tim lets it go, becomes Red Robin, they seem to share it. Tim can slip back into the role of Robin whenever someone like Dick or Bruce need him to, because *he's* the Robin who they need. he's the Robin who was able to find Bruce. he's the Robin that Ra's wants an heir out of. he's the Robin who even Jason respects. in Damian's eyes, everything Damian has fought tooth and nail for, was handed to Tim.

so of course he's going to react to Tim with violence and aggression, especially after finding out Tim has contingency plans for him. no matter how much Damian proves himself, he's never going to be enough, especially not to Tim. and so his deep refusal to see Tim as family, to acknowledge Tim's legacy is all driven by such an angry jealousy. Tim understands aspects of Bruce's legacy that Damian doesn't, like the need to sweet talk and play nice with the elites of Gotham, even if they're corrupt. they exemplify different aspects of Robin, and the aspects that Tim exemplifies are the aspects that Damian knows he'll never fully understand and therefore holds such a deep contempt for. he wants to fight criminals, not play nice with politicians. Tim understands the side of Gotham that's utterly foreign to Damian. if anything, he represents that side of Gotham, to Damian. a pretty little rich boy who's nothing but a know-it-all and not a real son of Bruce. he can't be a Wayne. he can't be Damian's family.

and all of that angry jealousy leading to unhealthy obsession turned a weird, angry crush from Damian is just my bread and butter. that is how DamiTim should be. to me. Damian obsessed over hating Tim Drake so much he accidentally ends up sort of in love with him and that only makes Damian angrier. because he can't prove everyone right by *also* liking Tim. he can't let Ra's win like that, because frankly why wouldn't Ra's be delighted by Damian and Tim getting together. and it builds and builds with angry passive aggression towards Tim that culminates in angry hate-fucking-that's-not-just-driven-by-hate. love and hate are always viewed as opposites in shipping and i think they're the same intense passion just in different directions. and for the best ships, they're very intertwined. what is DamiTim is not the peak of that. "i put so much of myself into hating you i had no choice but to fall in love with you somewhere along the way" core. love that bleeds into hate and hate that bleeds into love. "you make me so angry i regularly passively try to kill you but not with any real effort because who would i obsess over if you were actually gone" core. murder attempts as a form of courting. contingency plans to take each other out as a love language. they're unwell.

[thetarttfuldickhead]

It would never have happened if not for Dr. Fieldstone. Now, Leslie’s delighted about her joining the Richmond team on a more permanent basis – she works wonders with the lads (and one head coach who shall remain unnamed, if only because he’s still a little sensitive about seeing a therapist) – but it does mean that Leslie’s once more out of an office. Just for the moment, of course, until he can find a suitable space without kicking anyone else out of their room. It’s really no hassle. He’s doing fine on the bench just behind the recyling bins outside of the copy room.

Or he was, until Roy Kent stops by just on the other side of said bins and, seemingly entirely unaware of Leslie’s presence, starts fiddling with his phone in what can only be described as an angry way.

It’s Roy, so that’s nothing out of the ordinary, and Leslie’s just about to offer a friendly greeting when he hears the hollow rings of an outgoing call and ah, it’d be terribly rude interrupt, wouldn’t it? 

For a long moment there’s nothing but beep after beep and Roy’s muttered pick the fuck up you fucking prick and then—

“What the fuck do you want?” 

Jamie’s not on speaker, but the sound’s loud enough for Higgins to not only recognize the voice but to hear every word, and the jagged, slightly petulant edge to them. 

“Where the fuck are you?” Roy growls. 

“How’s that any of your business? Training’s fucking over for the day, Coach.” Spat, more or less.

“Don’t be a fucking— “ Roy cuts himself off. “I need to see you.”

“Why?” 

“Fucking hell! I wanted to… I want to fucking apologize, all right!” Roy sounds very, very annoyed about it.

“You can do that over phone. Or in a text.” Jamie sounds slightly less annoyed, but not by much.

Leslie dares crane his neck just so to sneak a peek at Roy’s face. Roy has closed his eyes, looking pained as he grits out a simple, strained: “No. I can’t.” 

“Why the fuck not?” 

Roy looks to the ceiling. Looks like he’d rather be anywhere else. Still he plods on, and Leslie feels a small surge of pity, small surge of pride. 

“Because you’ll want to hug me afterwards,” Roy says, “and you can’t fucking do that over phone, can you?” 

There’s a long pause. Leslie finds himself holding his breath, and not only because he’s halfway terrified he’ll start nervously gagging if this goes on for much longer. 

“Fine,” Jamie says eventually. “You can meet me back at my place in twenty.”

“Yeah, okay. Cheers.” 

A snort, somewhere between derisive and exasperated. “You better fucking hug me back.”

With that, Jamie hangs up. Roy takes a few deep breaths before stomping off and leaving Leslie to carefully consider what he’s overheard. Obviously something must have happened at training and if their head coach and star player have a proper falling out and Ted’s not there to talk some sense in them—

Eh. They’ll sort it out. Leslie returns to his e-mails.

[xcaffeineandcuddlesx]

thank you so much @shyamanuensis for the tag !!

(go follow her ! she’s like my online idol)

here’s a snippet of what i’m working on right now ! (yes, as in currently writing as i got this) :)

a one shot, kind of. might use in a later fic.

context: ending of fifth year. mc and sebastian try to figure out how they can live with themselves and each other after the sheer amount of grief, regret, and disgust they’re feeling. mc contemplates how much the “hero of hogwarts” title is truly earned and sebastian battles with his inner turmoil after he grieves the death of his uncle and loss of his sister.

please ignore any typos or inconsistencies !

~

“please, i need you to be honest with me. am i good?… am i a good person?” his voice cracks and it’s a painful reminder that things weren’t supposed to happen as they did.

the end of our fifth year is coming too quickly to an end. the classes are becoming shorter, more of a blur as the days fade away like smoke in the wind. it’s disorientating and the disassociation we’re experiencing is weighing heavily on every aspect of our lives. most days, it’s like i’m floating through the halls, like i’m in a weird sensory deprived dream as the faces and voices turn unrecognizable, like muffled buzzing, not even sure of the day of the week. the o.w.l.s came and went, i think, and now the both of us are left wandering the castle, trying to pick up the broken pieces of our youth.

the students are ecstatic about the upcoming summer, and every mention of their plans gouges a small part of me out, carving deep until i’m hollow. i hear them talk over meals about their family’s summer houses or trips they’ve planned, the promises of exchanged owls and slumber parties. all the while, i’m being congratulated by faces i’m not even sure i’ve seen.

my first year introduced into a world of whimsy and i become the “hero of hogwarts”. most have no idea the things i had to do to earn such a title. it’s made me sick. physically, mentally, emotionally sick. the late nights, overloaded course work, expectations, favors, expeditions with classmates, watching the cruelty of poachers, raids, battles, trials, death threats from adults in full confidence of them knowing i’m only a student, the blood on my hands.

i couldn’t just stop it once i had begun. i couldn’t just return to safety behind the castle’s walls and resume classwork as though the safety of every man, woman, and child in the school, neighbouring towns, and highlands were at stake and i was the only one trusted to, expected to, come to the rescue.

i didn’t sign up for this. neither did he.

we weren’t supposed to face the world the way we did. we weren’t supposed to do the adult’s jobs, no matter how grown we believed we were. we weren’t supposed to be heroes, we were supposed to be kids.

that’s what we are; kids.

he’s just a boy. a crestfallen, scared, mournful, alone, and traumatized boy.

now isn’t the time to define what “good” means or to explain that the world isn’t comprised of black and white or “good” or “bad”, but of horribly muddied shades of grey that are entirely up to perception. he doesn’t want to hear about the intricacies of morality. he wants to be reminded he’s still capable of being loved.

i can’t possibly look at him the same way. nor can he look at me the same way. i’m nowhere near a saint, but perhaps our histories is what makes us perfect for each other. after all, the pot shouldn’t dare be the one to call the kettle black.

~

ellie, they’ve already gone through enough, can’t you just let them enjoy their last bit of school before mc has to return to the muggle world and sebastian is at a loss without any family to turn to?

no. no, of course not. there’s so much untapped emotional depth to these students and i plan to make everyone feel how gut wrenching this story should have and could have been. whump is so underrated :)

if you’ve read this far, stay happy and hydrated

tags of some authors i’ve recently enjoyed and you should check out (hopefully they’ve not been tagged already): @applinsandoranges @rosewoodcafe

xoxo ellie

WIP WEDNESDAY!

Thank you @leaswhum for the tag! I loved reading your little snippet! I can't wait for more!

Here is mine!

Diana stood at the water’s edge, her bare feet sinking into the white sand. The waves lapped at her ankles, leaving behind glowing trails as they retreated. Even the ocean itself sought to cling to her presence. She lifted a hand, fingers outstretched, and beckoned for the sea. The tide returned swirling and lapping at her ankles as though she was a part of it.

Extending her hand toward the sky, the water rose in a graceful arc that caught the final rays of the setting sun. Like liquid crystal, the water shimmered, refracting the light into a cascade of colors. A brilliant rainbow unfurled across the twilight, bridging the gap between the heavens and the sea, pulsing with hues more vivid than mere mortals could comprehend.

And then-

The rainbow exploded into thousands of shimmering stars, each droplet igniting as it drifted upward, embedding itself into the darkening heavens. The sky inhaled, and the stars settled into their place, constellations of Diana’s own making. Unique and as brilliant as her.

The sea had given birth to the cosmos.

And Ominis could do nothing but watch in reverence.

She was not yearning for riches. Not for power. Not even for love.

She was dreaming in creation.

NPT: @whalesongsblog @amethystandemma @shyamanuensis @ravenwind-75

[hopecomesbacktolife]

thinking of rereading the entirety of HoME again. for my health

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

i like the concept of a huskerdust overlord!husk au but like. it is very much just being sold to one direction

[fettery-fetterie]

GIRL HELP WDYM I REACHED 30 TAGS??????? OMG???? I WASN'T EVEN DONE YET

ANYWAYS 31st: and that compared to a relationship where the communication lines are basically none or very fucking weak then yeah it is an upgrade I think. Idfk I was never in a relationship I'm just picking from the ones I've seen in my life

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Just for your consideration, characters don't have to be siblings/family to each other to be able to participate in nonsexual/nonromantic intimacy.

[headspace-hotel]

How to begin a sustainable way of life

This is a draft of something I've been writing for a couple months. It is mainly focused on the culture of the USA. Feel free to repost or otherwise share, with or without credit.

Do not tell people what to do—help them do it! 

Give the gift of relief from being forced to engage in society’s unsustainable ways of life. 

“People need to eat more plant-based foods.” ->Talk about your favorite recipes, give others recipes, cook for them, and grow vegetables and plants in your garden and give them away as gifts. 

“People need to repair their clothes.” -> Offer to repair others’ clothes, and teach people how to repair their clothes. 

“People need to buy less clothes.” -> Give them old clothes that you don’t want, help them repair their clothes

“People need to buy less plastic stuff.” -> Learn to make things that can serve the same purpose, such as baskets, and give them as gifts. Let people borrow things you own so they don’t have to buy their own. 

“People need to stop using leafblowers and other gas-guzzling machinery.” -> Offer to rake the leaves. You can use them as compost in your own garden. 

“People need to be more educated about nature.”-> Learn about nature yourself. Tell people about nature. Be open about your love of creatures such as snakes, spiders, and frogs. Do not show awareness that this could be strange. You are not obligated to quiet down your enthusiasm for creepy crawlies to demonstrate awareness that it is weird. Point out at every opportunity how these animals are beneficial. 

“People need to use cars less.” -> Offer rides to others whenever you must go somewhere. Whenever you are about to go to the store, ask your neighbor or your friend who lives along the way, “Is there anything you need from the store?” 

You cannot control others’ behaviors, but you can free them from being controlled. 

If you think to yourself, “But this would be so difficult to do!” ask yourself WHY? Why does your society coerce you into less sustainable ways of living, forcing you to consume excessively? After thinking about this, consider that it is less simple and easy than you thought to make more sustainable choices, so why would you judge others for not doing it? 

Do not act alone—act with others! 

Environmentally friendly behaviors that can be done alone, without collaborating with or consulting another person, are the least powerful of all. Whenever an “environmentally friendly” behavior is suggested, figure out “How can I give this as a gift?” or “How can I make this possible on the level of a whole community?” 

“Personal choices” do not work because every single person has to make them individually. If you are focused on making your own personal choice, you are not focused on others. If you are not focused on others, you are not helping them. If nobody is helping each other, most people won’t be able to make the “personal choice.”

You inherently share an ecosystem with your neighbors  

            Start with your neighbors, the people physically close to you. You live on the same patch of land, containing roots from the same plants and trees. You can speak to them face to face without traveling, which means you can easily bring them physical things without using resources to travel. 

            Always talk to your neighbors and be friendly with them. Offer them favors unprompted and tell them about how your garden is doing. Do not be afraid to be annoying—a slightly annoying neighbor who is helpful, kind, and can be relied upon for a variety of favors or in times of need is a necessary and inevitable part of a good community. If you make the effort to be present in somebody’s life, they will have to put up with you on some occasions, but that is just life. We cannot rely on each other if we do not put up with each other. 

Simply spending time with someone influences them for good 

Every hour you spend outside with your neighbor is an hour your neighbor doesn’t spend watching Fox News. Every hour you spend talking with someone and interacting with them in the real world, eating real food and enjoying your real surroundings, is an hour you don’t spend only hearing a curated picture of what reality is like from social media. 

            Isolation makes it easy for people to become indoctrinated into extremist beliefs. When someone spends more time alone, watching TV, Youtube, or scrolling social media, than they do with others, their concept of what other people are like and what the world is like comes more from social media than real life. TV and online media are meant to influence you in a specific way. Simply restricting the access these influences have to yourself and others is helpful. 

A garden is the source of many gifts 

If you grow a garden, you can give your neighbors and friends the gift of food, plants, and crafted objects. This is one of the foundational ways to form community. When you give food, you provide support to others. When you give plants, you are encouraging and teaching about gardening. It is even better when you give recipes cooked from things you grew, or items crafted from things you grew. You can also give the gift of knowledge of how to grow these plants, cook these recipes, or craft these objects. 

More on gift-giving

            Some people are uncomfortable with receiving items or services as gifts. They want to feel like they are giving something back, instead of having obligation to return the favor hanging over them. 

            It can help to ask a simple favor that can be easily fulfilled. People generally like the feeling of helping someone else. 

When you give someone a gift, it can help to say something like “Oh, I have too many of this thing to take care of/store/eat myself! Do you think you could take some?” This makes your neighbor feel like they are helping you. 

When allowing others to borrow items, you might not get them back. Don’t worry about that. It just means the item found a place where it was needed the most. You can ask about the item if you think it might have been forgotten, and this can create an opportunity for a second meeting. But don’t press. 

If the person you give to insists upon some form of payment, this is a good opportunity to negotiate a trade. 

Ask to be given compostable or recyclable things 

Ask your neighbor to save compostable scraps, biodegradable cardboard and paper products, and any other items that might be put to use. Use them in your own compost pile. Or, start a compost pile at the edge of the yard where you both can add to it. Remember that “wet” compost like vegetable and fruit bits needs to be mixed with twice as much of “dry” and “woody” compost like cardboard, leaves, small twigs, paper and wood bits. 

Use the front yard for gardening

Overcome the cultural norm that the front yard is only decorative. Use the front yard for gardening so you can be seen by others enjoying your garden, and others can witness the demonstration of the possibilities of land. In the front yard, anything you do intentionally with your land can be witnessed. It also makes you a visible presence in your community. 

Grow staple foods 

Don’t just grow vegetables that cannot be the core component of a meal themselves. Grow potatoes, dry beans, black eyed peas and other nourishing, calorie-dense foods. Grow the ingredients of meals. You could even build a garden around a recipe.

Invite neighbors and friends over to eat food made from things you grew 

Be sure to send them home with leftovers.  

Grow plants for baskets 

Containers are one of the fundamental human needs. If we had more containers, we wouldn’t need plastic so much. You can learn to make baskets, and to grow plants that provide the raw materials for baskets. 

If someone rakes their leaves, ask to have the leaves  

If you see someone putting leaves in bags, don’t be afraid to ask if you can have the leaves. More likely than not they will be happy to agree. 

Collaborate with neighbors to plant things in the no-man’s-land of the property line 

In the border land between your neighbor’s yard and your yard, it is almost always just mowed grass because no one can plant anything without it affecting their neighbor. But these border lands add up to a lot of space. It would be much better if you talked to your neighbor about what would be nice to plant there, and together created a plan for that space. 

Give others the freedom to wander 

Make it clear that you will not get mad if the neighbor’s kids play in your yard or run across it. Invite the neighbors onto your land as much as possible. Tell them they are allowed to spend time in a favored spot whenever they would like.  

The power of the hand-made sign 

If there is a yard sale, you always know about it because of the hand-drawn signs placed around. Therefore, a cookout or unwanted item exchange can be announced the same way. In rural areas I have seen hand-made signs that say: FIREWOOD or WE BUY GOATS or EGGS. This is one of the few technologies of community that remain in the USA. If someone who looks to buy and sell can put up a hand-made sign, why shouldn’t you?  

Religious people or people with strong political opinions like to put signs everywhere. If they have the confidence and courage to do so, why shouldn’t you? 

So if there is a message you would like everyone to see, use the simple power of the hand-made sign. Proclaim “BEE FRIENDLY ZONE!” above your pollinator garden with all the confidence of a religious fundamentalist billboard. Announce to the world, “VEGETABLES FREE TO ALL—JUST ASK!” ���WE TAKE LEAVES—NO PESTICIDES.” Instead of YARD SALE, or perhaps in conjunction with YARD SALE, you can write, PLANT EXCHANGE or SEED SWAP or CLOTHING SWAP. Who can stop you? 

Someone has to do it for society to change  

Some of these ideas might be eccentric, strange, or even socially unacceptable, but there is no way to change what is normal except to move against it. Someone has to be weird. It might as well be you. 

[2nfernal3ternal]

.

[knaveofmogadore]

Kfkdks