#I need someone to reset my brain for me i just want to talk with people without being afraid

[lesbianturrets]

Everyday I get scared that I will be lonely forever

[hotshotsxyz]

“ just… be honest with me, do you hate me? “ for Buddie

(buddie) (869 words) this prompt screams angst, which is. the exact opposite of what i did with it. whoops!

“You asshole,” Eddie says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We agreed—”

“I know, I know,” Buck says, “But just—trust me?”

Eddie sighs. “I’m going to break up with you one of these days,” he threatens.

“No you won’t,” Buck replies with a sunny grin.

He’s right, obviously, but he doesn’t have to be so smug about it. Eddie makes a noncommittal noise and climbs into the passenger seat of the Jeep.

“At least tell me where we’re going?” Eddie asks, not especially optimistic he’ll get an answer.

“Nope!”

Eddie groans. “I hate you, you know that?”

Buck snorts. “M’hm, sure, definitely seemed like you hated me this morning.”

“Yeah, well, see if I do that again any time soon,” Eddie snarks.

Buck laughs, loud and bright. It’s hard to summon even playful irritation in the face of Buck’s obvious joy, but Eddie’ll be damned if he doesn’t give it the ol’ college try.

They take a circuitous route out of LA and up through the canyons to Malibu. There’s a small farmers market on the way, one they’ve been to once or twice before, and Buck insists they stop for strawberries. Eddie insists on buying peach jam, mostly because he likes it and Buck doesn’t. Instead of rising to the bait, Buck swings by the bakery tent and grabs a loaf of sourdough to go with it. Dick.

“C’mon,” Buck says, once they’ve secured their purchases in a backpack that’s apparently been in the back the entire time. “We’re leaving the car here.”

“Oh, so you’re torturing me with physical activity for our anniversary, I guess that isn’t a gift after all,” Eddie says, just to be contrary. He loves hiking, and they both know it.

Buck rolls his eyes. “It’s a ten minute walk, fifteen tops. I won’t even make you carry anything.”

“My hero,” Eddie says, pressing a dramatic hand to his chest.

Buck locks the Jeep and bumps his shoulder against Eddie’s. “You coming?”

“Under duress,” he replies, but he’s pretty sure the grin on his face gives the game away.

True to Buck’s word, it takes just over ten minutes to reach their apparent destination. The path was entirely up hill, though, and Eddie makes sure to get some mileage out of that.

The view from the small overlook at the top, though, is pretty impossible to complain about. The ocean stretches out infinitely before them, brilliantly blue and glittering.  It’s the kind of place where the rest of the world just… falls away.

Eddie loves it. Buck knows he loves it.

“Fine,” Eddie says, “You win. This is perfect.”

“Yeah?” Buck asks from behind him.

“You know it is,” Eddie says. He tears his eyes away from the horizon and—

Oh.

That’s—

Buck’s spread a large picnic blanket on the ground behind him, and it’s a ridiculous first thought to have, but sue him, Eddie’s feels like his brain is doing a hard reset, because—

Because—

Because Buck is on one knee and he’s got a small black ring box in his hand and his eyes are already shining and Eddie’s never loved someone the way he loves Buck.

“Eddie,” Buck says, and it’s just his name but the love and devotion in it takes away his breath.

“There’s not a lot I haven’t said to you,” Buck continues. “But you know me, I like to talk.”

Eddie nods vigorously, entirely incapable of forming words of his own.

“And there’s—there’s no one else in this world I want to spend the rest of my life talking to,” he says, huffing a small laugh at his own expense.

“Eds, you’re—you’re the sun,” he says, and Eddie doesn’t know how to tell him that can’t be true, because he’s already looking at the brightest light on the planet.

“You’ve been making everything better and brighter since the day we met. Getting to love you is—is the greatest privilege of my life, and I’m kind of hoping you’ll let me keep doing it forever.”

A small noise punches it’s way out of Eddie’s chest, and it’s only then that it occurs to him that he might need to breathe for the part he’s pretty sure is coming next.

 “So, Eddie Diaz,” Buck says as the first of what Eddie’s sure will be many tears slips down his cheek, “will you marry me?”

Eddie drops to his knees and takes Buck’s face in his hands and brushes the tear away with his thumb. There are a hundred things he wants to say, but he still hasn’t managed to take that breath, and, really, only one of them is important right now.

A mischievous expression flashes across Buck’s face. “Just… be honest with me,” he says, a little smug, “do you hate me?”

“Yes,” Eddie finally gasps.

Buck jerks in surprise. “Yes?”

“No, not—yes I’ll marry you,” Eddie says in a rush.

“Oh,” Buck says with a grin. “Well, that’s a relief because—”

Eddie doesn’t let him finish. He crashes his lips against Buck’s. He kisses his fiancé. He’s not sure he knew it was possible to be this happy.

He can’t believe the asshole beat him to it. Eddie loves him so much.

[fixyourwritinghabits]

How to Handle Critique

I’ve got to admit, I wish I was one of those beatific saints that could take critique with a grateful smile. Instead, I am constantly suppressing a horrible little gremlin at the back of my head hissing at anything from legit plot critiques to grammar corrections. I’m well aware I used that comma wrong, GOD.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m very good at suppressing that gremlin, but the little bastard is still there. He exists because even though your brain knows critique can help, it also knows you worked damn hard on the thing being critiqued, and goddamnit, isn’t that enough???

Anyway, here are some tips on getting that gremlin to shut the hell up.

It is okay to be upset. You worked really hard on this thing, and now someone’s gone and pointed out all the things that suck about it. You cannot control how you feel about one thing or another, but you can allow yourself to feel that way and let it pass through you. Let your critique partner you’re taking time to reflect on it, and go for a walk. Do something else. Let those feelings pass through you before you get back to the page.

Give yourself time. Don’t feel like you need to correct things right away (unless they are minimal grammar tweaks). Some pieces of feedback might take awhile to sink in, especially when you’ve got a whole novel to wrestle through. Set it aside, think about something else for a week or so, and get back to it when you’ve reset.

Get a second opinion and/or ducky friend. It can be very hard to tell the difference between good and bad feedback sometimes. Someone who means very well could give feedback that just doesn’t work for you, and someone who doesn’t give two shits could have spotted that fatal flaw right away. You can bring in a real third party or just make use of the old rubber duck technique, where you talk through the issue with a friend or a Naruto poster telling you to Believe it. Working it out out-loud is a really effective technique to figure out what needs fixing and what doesn’t.

Guide critique-givers toward the feedback you want. I, a person who prefers straightforward fantasy and sci-fi, cannot give the fine-tooth points on how a romance novel should work. However, I can give feedback on what works for me and what doesn’t story-wise. Giving your beta reader or critique partner a list of questions to look for will help avoid vague feedback based on how they don’t like the genre. There are many ways to do this, but consider using the following as a base to tailor your own questions:

Did you get a good sense of the setting? Did the worldbuilding make sense to you?

Was this story clear? Where there any parts that seemed confusing?

What characters did you like and why? What characters didn’t you like?

Did any parts of the story feel slow or repetitive?

Did the beginning draw you in? Did the middle keep you engaged? Did the ending feel satisfying?

If you were to write [insert plot point here], what would you do differently?

Again, all of the above questions are up for debate depending on your goal, but we are rarely taught how to give good feedback, and a guided feedback session would work better for you than a free-for-all.

Figure out what kind of advice doesn’t work for you. It is really hard to give good feedback sometimes, even with guided questions. It can also be really hard to figure out why some feedback doesn’t click with you, and that’s a matter of digging deep to figure out what you really want. You may lean toward characters who are horrible fuck-ups, but your partner prefers more steady characters who always strive to do the right thing. Your characters, therefore, may never click with this person, no matter how much they want to help you. And that’s okay! Figuring out where your critique partner is coming from can help you figure out what parts of their feedback isn’t working for you. Sometimes the only thing you can do is thank them and move on, but you might also want to guide them to focus more on the plot or the worldbuilding when looking at your work.

And last, don’t focus on grammar. It’s great if they point that out, but if you end up changing everything, trying to fix that first is a waste of your time. Grammar tweaks last, plot points first.

And, I dunno, give yourself a treat to get that horrible little mind gremlin something else to focus on. Sometimes patting those bad feelings on the head and sending them away can help way more than ignoring them.

[seventeenpins]

knock him down a peg

pairing: QZ!Joel x F!Reader x Tess

word count: 4.4k

summary: A follow up to Never Pegged You For A Quitter. After a raid gone wrong, Joel's been acting out. Cue an attitude adjustment. Inspired by this ask! 🩷

content/warnings: threesome, pussy eating, anal fingering, Tess is 'daddy', sub!Joel, fucking with a strap-on, reader is injured, Tess is protective af about reader, Joel nuts a frankly concerning amount, references to fisting, Tess slaps Joel

a/n: uhhhh i've been working on this for MONTHS but i think it's finally ready?? shoutout to my co-writer @ozarkthedog without whom this wouldn't exist -- thank you for letting me scream about all of my horny Tess thoughts, helping me organise my brain, giving me about a million good ideas, and encouraging me the whole way thru, and to @sp00kymulderr for giving me the fic title (did you know you did that?? you did. thank you!!)

The three of you had been planning for weeks; maps spread out across the kitchen table. Packs filled with ammo and food and product. It was an immaculate plan, every variable accounted for.

It still went tits up.

Just that morning, FEDRA had changed patrol routes altogether, so your route out wasn't clear anymore. It was no matter, you'd figured. You could head south, through the old high rises, and hook around.

That's when you discovered why FEDRA changed their routes.

Swarms of infected like you'd never seen them had flooded the buildings, hissing and flailing and scrambling towards you. Tess nearly got bit. And then once you made your drop and collected your payment, you had to go back through again.

Tess and Joel had taken the rear, and you'd gone ahead, ending up face-to-face with a slimy FEDRA lackey who took all of the cards you had on you, half your new product, and still put you in lockup for three days.

All in all, bad. 

Arguably better, though, than the noose.

Tess had been waiting for you when you got out and scanned over you as you limped your way out. Your shoulder had been dislocated, but she'd reset it as soon as you were let outside, cussing out the disinterested agents who were watching you, telling you to breathe deep and setting it on two when she made you count to three.

Now, you’re home, sat across from Tess, hissing as she dabbed iodine on the oozing cut beneath your eye. There was a gash on your abdomen that was just shallow enough to avoid the need for stitches. Small miracles. You watched her scan over you, head-to-toe, as if you were hiding some extra life-threatening wound that neither of you knew about yet. Her concern was firm and fierce; never sweet words, but warm hands and a careful touch.

Joel, however, wasn't handling things well. He was pacing back and forth, dangerously quiet. He wore a mean scowl, and his eyes were nearly black with fury. You could see all of his tells; the clench of his jaw, the flash of his eyes, the way his fingers twitched nervously and he refused to make eye contact with you.

The more he paced, the more Tess tensed till suddenly she snapped.

"Sit the fuck down, Joel. You're not helping, pacing like that," she scolded. He practically growled in response.

"It was fuckin' reckless," he spat, "Shouldn't've let her go ahead."

"Her?" you scoff, "We all decided I should go ahead. Someone's gotta do it, and I'm as much a part of this as you are."

He glowered.

"You think you're some kinda savior?” Your shoulder smarts, and the more Joel talks, the more you want to smack him. “Gotta protect me, is that it?"

“You’re more important here,” he argues, punctuating his point by jabbing his finger towards you, “Plottin’ out the routes, trackin’ product, inventory-”

“Joel-” Tess interrupts, “You know as well as I do that she’s been doing this just as long as we have. You wanna know why you weren’t the one going ahead?”

The guard dog reels, as if he didn’t know his place and his role were calculated. As if it weren’t something Tess would ensure.

“You’re talkin’ bout reckless? You’re the one getting reckless, Joel,” Tess hisses.

“It shouldn’ta gone like that-”

“Shit’s gonna go bad, sometimes. But we’re all here. We’re all okay.”

Joel huffs a sigh. “We nearly weren’t.”

Tess ignores him. “And you think being a martyr, putting yourself in danger ahead of us is gonna help us in the long run?”

“If I’d been up front-”

“If you’d been up front, right now we’d be cleaning your oozing face. Maybe you’d have some broken ribs, too.”

“But-”

“Nah. Shut the fuck up, Miller.”

Joel scoffs, nostrils flaring. Shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

The eye roll–that’s the final nail in the coffin.

Tess glowers. “You’d better fix your fuckin’ attitude, Joel, or I’ll fix it for you.”

He grinds his jaw, glaring at you both in turn.

But then Tess sees it; the way he’s starting to get hard in his jeans. You see it too, and you start to notice other things; the flush of his cheeks, his pupils dilated, blown black.

“Oh-,” Tess smirks and turns to you, “Look at that, baby. Looks like he wants a little attitude adjustment.”

You expect him to fire back, make some quip, talk some shit. Instead, he looks ahead. He avoids making eye contact with either of you. A deer in headlights.

“C’mon, Joel.” Tess soothes, stepping forward to rub small circles on his hips, holding and settling him with a surprisingly gentle touch. "Instead of letting you be a stubborn jackass, maybe we oughta fuck some good sense into you.”

Joel doesn’t groan, he just lets out a breath. You do groan.

“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten how to be good for us,” she taunts.

You’ve been on the receiving end of Tess’s mean streak before and it’s embarrassing how immediately it excites you. Whenever you think about it, your stomach flips and you have to actively restrain yourself from rubbing your thighs together. Her voice was then as it is now–gleeful and mocking. She made sure you learned your lesson- you fucked up, so now I gotta teach you how to act right. 

The last time you’d seen her like that, the night had ended with your ass on fire, covered in raised handprints. Painful indents of bite marks bruised beautifully up along the insides of your thighs, and you’d come so many times you nearly passed out. These days when you touch yourself, you’re thinking of that; how Tess must’ve been wrist deep, fucking her whole fist into you as she opened her mouth, tongue ready and waiting, grinning when your release splashes her face and drips down her chin, telling you, “Now that’s better, baby.”

Now, fully back in the moment, you’re looking at her and you can see the fire in her eyes. Tess grabs you by the collar, kissing you hard. It’s a dizzying few moments as she licks into your mouth, tongue hot and sweet. You love how she tastes.

When she pulls away, you’re breathless and she’s smirking. 

“Take a seat, honey,” she tells you, and pushes you back. You stumble and land in the armchair behind you. Then she turns to Joel. “You,” she fixes him with a stern glare, “No touching. Behave.”

She exits the room. You and Joel are left in silence. 

You don’t know exactly what Tess has in mind, but you’ve got a pretty good idea.

Joel watches you, wordless. You can feel the energy, the urgency vibrating out from him, but he says nothing. Barely moves. Tess has him trained well.

You unbutton your jeans and lower your zipper. Shimmy them down your hips, past the swell of your ass, and kick them off. 

There’s a sharp intake of breath, and you know Joel’s just noticed you’re not wearing any underwear. You recline back, letting your legs spread. Letting him see every part of you.

The wound on your abdomen is hot, a burning pulse. Your shoulder aches. Your jaw stings. You’re pretty sure your face is a swollen, puffy mess, especially where the gash beneath your eye still weeps, and there are bruises in the shape of handprints all down your arms. 

You need to feel good. Not broken or disregarded, and certainly not made to feel inadequate. You’d gotten your ass handed to you. Now, you need to indulge in some of your more hedonistic pleasures. And, you want to torture Joel, just a little.

Hoping Joel’s watching, but refusing to look up to see, you start to trace along your body. Your fingertips brush your lips first, trailing down your chin, your throat, your collarbone. It’s grounding. Assessing. You need to know what will make you feel good and what will cause you pain.

Slowly, you follow down your shirt, taking a moment to pinch your nipples, tracing a path along your belly, and then to the thatch of curls between your thighs.

You hear a restrained breath, and now you know Joel’s watching. You cup your mound, feel your own heat in your hand. You don’t want to go too far, don’t want to really start before Tess is back, but there’s no harm in warming yourself up.

A few minutes later, as you’re stroking your cunt, feeling yourself start to drip, she walks back in. 

What a fucking sight to behold. Her own shirt is unbuttoned, harness secured at her waist and thighs, the firm silicone cock hanging heavy between her legs. She’s beautiful, breasts unconstrained by any bra, nipples hard, and legs so toned. She looks at you, your naked self, and her scowl softens.

She turns to Joel. “Now, that’s a good girl, huh? Look at that.”

Joel says nothing, just grunts a vague noise of affirmation. 

Tess raises a brow. “Really, Joel?” she admonishes, “You had plenty to say earlier.”

He’s grinding his jaw, has been grinding his jaw for a while. You start to gingerly pull the shirt you’re wearing off and over your head, and Tess leans down to help, taking care to avoid your fucked up shoulder, all your cuts and bruises.

“This is what’s gonna happen,” she tells Joel, “I’m gonna fuck our girl, and you’re gonna watch. If you’re good, then we’ll fuck you, too. Got it?”

Joel grumbles an affirmation, but Tess is sick of his avoidance. She rounds on him, closing the space between them in only a few steps, and slaps him hard on the cheek.

“-The fuck, Tess.” Joel growls, and he’s mad now, “Goddammi-”

She smacks him again. “This isn’t a negotiation, Joel. You can leave if you want,” her eyes glance down to where his cock strains painfully against the fly of his jeans, “But I’m guessing you want to stay here and play with us.”

Finally, Joel looks at her. Directly at her. It’s like staring at the sun.

“Yes,” he admits, “I want to be here.”

“Good boy.”

Now, her attention turns on you. “How’re you feeling, baby?” she asks.

“Better every minute,” you grin up at her, fingers lazily swirling around your clit as you let yourself feel.

“Let me see,” she commands, and you let her spread your legs, opening your thighs wide as she examines your glistening cunt. She nearly gasps when she takes a look. “Oh, baby,” she praises, “Look at you-”, and it’s the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard.

It feels so vulnerable, having Tess on her knees in front of you, looking at you bare. She breathes in deeply, groaning as her nostrils fill with the smell of you. The vulgar eroticism sends another surge of arousal through you and you’re almost embarrassed at how much it makes you drip.

Gently, she presses an exploratory middle finger against your opening and hisses out a breath when she slips in easily.

She turns her wrist, twisting the digit, letting you feel the width of her fist pressing against your mound. The pressure against you is delicious. It obsessed you, every time you considered it; the way she can make every time feel like the first time. You could never get bored. She’s a force.

You want to taunt her or tease her, rile her up just a little more. You love her rough side. But you know she wouldn’t go for it, the state you’re in, and besides–you’re tired, and the way she’s fingerfucking you feels so goddamn good you can’t even think of a single thing to say. 

She goes from stroking your folds and covering you with your own slick, to slipping her ring finger in with her middle. It’s an easy glide, too, and she starts pumping the digits, thumb hard against your clit as she works you open.

“God damn,” she groans, “All beat up and you’re still fuckin’ gushing for me, pretty girl.”

The pressure is overwhelming but you want to endure, need to endure. That doesn’t, however, stop your body from writhing and shaking, and the combination of her words and her ministrations, you know Tess feels how hard you’re clenching around her, feeling yourself get too close, too fast. She winks at you before turning back to Joel.

“C’mon over here,” she beckons him. He obeys, kneeling down beside her. She leans over and narrates. “Look at how she’s taking my fingers. Barely any resistance. Slipped right in, see how wet she is for me?”

Joel hums in acknowledgement, something between a sigh and a growl.

“Good thing she’s this wet already,” she tells Joel, nodding at the strap between her legs, “Otherwise you might have to suck it first-” 

His growl turns into something like a whine, desperate and beautiful. You know more than most how much effort he’s putting into not allowing himself to speak. How he must really be desperate to get fucked if he’s restraining himself like this.

“And we know that’s not a punishment for you, don’t we?” She swats him on the cheek, “We all know how much Joel Miller loves suckin’ cock, huh?”

She’s not wrong. His eyes somehow grow darker, and you’re so focused at watching his reactions that you barely even register Tess spreading your legs even further apart till the head of her cock presses against your drooling cunt, and she slides the entire length in, bottoming out in a single smooth thrust.

“JESUS, Tess,” you cry out. 

She just grins and holds you by the waist. “Hold on tight baby,” she tells you, “I know you can take all this and then some.”

After a few restrained thrusts, she finds her rhythm and starts fucking you. The initial sensation of being filled starts to wane, and you swear your pussy is a starving entity of its own. It wants and it wants and it wants.

The ache is so good, and she’s deep, too. It’s a perfect balance of pleasure and pressure. With each cant of her hips, you sink further into a blinding euphoria. It’s exactly what you need. 

“Taking me so fucking good,” she praises, “Like you were made to take me. Goddamn, baby, you’re dripping like a faucet.”

“Needed this so bad-” you mumble, “Fuck, Tess, I need you-”

“You got me, baby,” she promises, “You got me, I’ll give you anything you need.”

Every word is punctuated by another thrust. 

“Tell me what you need, honey.”

“Faster,” you gasp, “Please, Tess, need it faster-”

With a growl, she shifts you, pulls out for a moment and grabs you by the legs. She drags you further down the chair but rests the back of your calves on her shoulder before plunging the strap back in, deeper and rougher than before.

You wince a little, the tender part of your belly stinging, and she notices immediately. Rearranges you, just a little. 

When she slides back in, the pain is gone. Only pleasure remains.

“See?” Tess snarls, “She knows how to be good, huh?” 

Still holding your legs with one arm, she wraps the other around you and lands a hard smack on your ass, grinning when she feels you gush around her again.

You buck and writhe, and you know you have the stupidest grin plastered across your face.

She makes you dizzy.

“That’s it, baby,” she tells you. “So good, telling me what you need,”

“Fuck–” you rasp, “I’m gonna cum, Tess, please-”

She keeps to the rhythm, letting her fast strokes and the snap of her hips undo you. You’re close, so fucking close, but you can see the way she’s trembling, so focused on you, you don’t think she realises she’s close to the edge too.

Now, the only thing you want is for you both to cum together.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, Tess, daddy, cum in me, please–”

A strangled moan leaves her, breathless, and she fucks into you and feels the way you tighten and pulse around the cock, feels the way you drip greedily down her thighs, and that’s enough; Tess comes with you.

As you come back out of the fog, your head is giddy with bliss. You’re tangled up, sweaty, sticky skin pressed together. You hold her close as she runs her hands up and down your back, soothing you. Your breasts are pressed together like a jigsaw puzzle, and the thought is silly, but it’s true.

The strength of your orgasm has knocked you numb, and it takes several moments for your vision and hearing to come back fully. Tess seems to be in the same boat, because it’s at the same time that you both hear it.

Slick squelches. Soft moans.

You both look over at the same time. Tess’s jaw drops. You feel another surge of arousal run through you as you focus on Joel.

“I’m- I’m sorry, honey,” he tells you, “Shouldn’t’a acted like that.”

You barely register his words. Instead, you watch how he’s stripped down near completely, barring his socks. That should make you laugh, but his legs are lewdly spread. With one hand he’s gripping his balls, clearly trying not to touch his drooling cock. With the other, he’s three fingers deep in his asshole, moving desperately. There’s a bottle of lube nearby and you can see its contents dripping down his wrist as he pumps his fingers hard and fast into his aching hole.

Tess looks stuck between telling him off for touching himself, and wholly impressed by his dedication to preparation.

“Well I’ll be damned,” she laughs, incredulous, “Someone’s eager.”

She’s still inside you, and you can feel another rush of your cum drip down the strap. An idea strikes you.

“Fuck him with it,” you tell her, looking down at the thick silicone as she glides out of you, “Fuck him with it, while it’s still dripping with me.”

Tess moves a hand to her breast, pinching and flicking at her own nipple, practically growling at your words. She stares at you for a moment. Then back to Joel.

He’s lost for words, too, it seems. He looks absolutely wrecked. His fingers are still buried deep, but they’re not moving anymore. Focus on the motion is forgotten, he’s just fixed on you both, eyes darting between you, waiting for a decision, any decision, to be made.

“Honey,” she smirks at you, “Why don’t you move over to the head of the bed there, that’s a good girl.”

You get up and scoot back, snorting a laugh as she swats at your ass while you rearrange yourself so your back is against the headboard.

“Spread those legs,” she orders. “Mmm yes, that’s it. My good fucking girl-”

She turns to Joel. “What a nice view, huh?”

Your lips are puffy and used, shining with slick. The room smells like sex, heavy and intoxicating.

“I think you’d better clean up the mess I made of her,” she gestures towards you and Joel doesn’t hesitate. “Hands and knees, Miller.”

He moves from his seat, crawling up the bed, wrapping his hands around your thighs and spreading them further.

The first stroke of his tongue feels like coming home. The hot, wet pass of it is intoxicating, and you’re already so sensitive you don’t need any focus on your clit to feel the build clutch at you again already.

“Good boy,” Tess praises him. He growls into you, the strokes of his tongue growing wider and faster, drinking up every drop of you.

He pulls away for only a moment. “Fuck me, Tess, please-”

“You focus on her and you’ll get what you need,” she promises, “But you’d better move fast, Texas.”

He sighs, but glances up at you. He nods, more weight to it than you’d expect, before he runs another lick up your cunt.

You shudder at the sensation, your legs turning to mush again. His calloused hands scrape against your thighs as he holds them apart, nuzzles at your pussy, dives back in, alternating between licking and sucking. 

There are many things that can be said about the man worshiping between your legs, but no one could ever say he eats pussy with anything less than religious devotion.

He nibbles gently in a way that devastates, knocks you back and wears you down. Once you’ve hit one peak it doesn’t take you long to hit the next, and he has you on the edge so damn fast you’d feel embarrassed if you didn’t also feel so fucking good.

“Fuck,-” you breathe, “Fuck, Joel-! Can’t fucking stop coming- Fuuuckkk–!”

He blinks, dark brown eyes gazing up at you as he continues, relentless, barely impeded by the way your body is convulsing from the overwhelm of sensation.  

You shudder on his mouth, legs shaking, involuntary whimpers turning into something more like panting whines and moans. You’re pretty sure the entire building can hear you. You really don’t care.

Tess has been watching the whole time, smirking but silent. Now she lines up her still-wet cock against his slick hole.

“Y’ready, Miller?” She asks, and you feel yourself melt at the tenderness of it. You fall in love just a little bit more, every time you see her soft.

He grunts an affirmation. His mouth is still on you but his movements slow and he buries his nose between your folds, nudging at you gently as Tess presses the head of her cock to his slick hole. The most beautiful whine slips out his mouth, reverberating against your cunt. You can feel the way his entire body moves, pressing up into you, as she lets herself loose, thrusting shallowly at first before snapping her hips in longer, deeper strokes.

With one particularly brutal thrust, he knocks forward. The curve of his nose hits against your clit and you come again with a shriek, soaking his face as he takes everything she gives him.

You’re worn out, spent and satisfied. You clutch him by the hair and yank him off of you, and now his moans aren’t muffled anymore. 

He keeps his head between your thighs, breathing in your scent as the cum on his face cools and starts to dry. He’s loud, whining and grunting, taking Tess’s cock like it’s his only purpose.

“Fuck, Tessa-” he sobs, the heat of his breath on your used-up cunt. “Feels- so fucking- good.”

“Feels real fuckin good, don’t it?” she echoes, rhythm never ceasing, “Lettin’ your daddy fuck you like this.”

“Uh huh.”

“You wanna be good for me, say thank you?”

“I-” His words come out stilted, punctuated by each thrust. “Yes-”

“Say thank you, Daddy.”

“Thank- Thank- you- daddy-” he chokes.

“Thank you for what?” you prompt, and Tess grins. Joel looks up at you with a flash of something that could be fury or hunger.

“Thank you-” he hisses, “Thank you- daddy- for teaching me a lesson-”

“Good boy,” she soothes, “Say ‘thank you daddy, for teaching me how silly and childish I’ve been.’”

“Thank you daddy,” he echoes, “For teaching me how silly I’ve been. How childish. Ain’t been actin’ right. Not to you honey-” he presses a gentle kiss to the inside of your thigh. Closes his eyes when he speaks to her. “Not to you either, daddy.”

“You feelin good, baby?” she asks him.

He breathes out a shudder. “Feels so fucking good, but–”

“But?”

“Need more. Need to be touched.”

“Poor baby,” Tess pouts, “I’m afraid we can’t do that.”

He whines, but nods.

“But since you’re taking this lil attitude adjustment so well, I suppose we can let you cum. That sound alright to you honey?”

“Sure,” you beam, “He can rub himself up against the mattress if he likes. Cum just like that.”

“Mmm yeah,” Tess agrees, “You able to cum from rutting up against the bed?”

“Yes- yes anything, please-”

“Love it when he begs,” you sigh and Tess hums in affirmation.

She presses him down, keeps her cock in him as she knocks him so he’s flat on the bed, legs splayed, swollen dick rubbing against the covers as she holds him by the hips.

This whole time, she’s kept a steady pace. Not quite brutal, but certainly not leisurely. You see the way his own hips rock as he humps the bed, trying to find an angle that’ll give him the release he needs.

“I’m- fuck, I’m getting close Tessa– Gonna fuckin cum–”

“Good,” she smacks him hard and watches the flesh of his ass shake deliciously from the blow.

The masochist he is, it’s all he needs to tumble over the edge.

He comes with a shout, cum painting the bedsheets and pooling on the fabric, coating his stomach, his cock, his balls. Tess is still inside him, still hitting his prostate with every stroke, and it strengthens his orgasm to a point of almost overwhelming intensity. After a few moments, you’re not sure if he’ll ever stop coming, the amount of it verges on concerning as the pool of cum threatens to trickle over the edge of the bed.

Finally, his orgasm comes to an end, and Tess’s thrusts slow. 

They both reel back, panting, Tess pulling out gently and Joel whimpering at the loss of sensation. 

“Good boy,” she tells him, unbuckling the harness and letting the strap fall to the floor.

“Fuuuuuckkkkkk-” he sighs, and you giggle. His eyes snap up to you, but he’s laughing too. 

He shakes his head and starts to peel himself up from the sticky mess he’s made. “Sorry I’m such a jackass.” 

“Eh,” you shrug, “We know you’re a jackass.”

He nods, considering.

“And–” Tess joins in, “We know how to set you straight.”

He snorts.

“Just– I know you were scared out there,” you tell him, and he must’ve been fucked real good because he doesn’t even try to argue. “We’re always gonna have close calls. But we’re in this together, yeah? Don’t shut me out just because you’re afraid.”

He’s silent for a moment. Then nods at you.

“Okay, honey. And- thank you, Tessa. You know how t’ keep me in line.”

“Anytime, Texas,” she grins.

You get up and turn on the shower. The rest of the day, you’ll get clean. You’ll rest. You’ll let your aching bones start their healing. Just over the sound of the shower spray, you hear Tess speaking to Joel; “Now, unless I’m much mistaken, it’s your turn to change the sheets-”

[mrsevans90]

Puppy Love

Captain Syverson x OFC Emma Miller Part 10

Summary: Austin Syverson has returned to Texas after retiring from the military and starts his own contracting business. Syverson is used to being alone and thinks he prefers it that way. While at work he stumbles upon an injured and abused puppy. When he meets the new veterinarian in town, Emma Miller, he is immediately smitten with her. It turns out Emma has some baggage of her own. Will they be able to make it work? Or is it just a case of fleeting puppy love?

Pairing: Henry Cavill as Captain Austin Syverson x OFC Emma Miller 

Warnings: smut (oral/m receiving), talks of period intercourse, detailed PTSD flashback, graphic death of character discussed, self-deprecating talk, language

MINORS DNI! Must be 18+

I do not authorize any copying/pasting, stealing of my work, or using my words as your own. 

This story is not beta’d. All mistakes are my own.

A/N: I am an imperfect person who makes mistakes. All that I ask is to please be kind and if you enjoy it then please comment and REPOST! I appreciate any love, comments, and reposts more than you could know. Thank you for reading! 

Author's Note: This is a heavy chapter--- Big time PTSD flashback so consider yourself warned! Also, I purposely chose to not use characters in the flashback from the movie Sand Castle. I just didn’t want to kill off anyone’s fave character, so we are going to pretend this flashback was another mission from another deployment right before Sy retired not related to the movie. It was just easier for my conscious to write it that way. 

Part 9

All night long I have nightmares about the war. I wake and try to reset myself like the therapist taught me with deep breathing, water, change of environment, etc.; but nothing is working. I maybe only get about 2 hours of sleep total and I’m exhausted. I still go on my run to try and exhaust myself even more so that maybe tonight I will pass out into a dreamless sleep. I try to fake enthusiasm for whatever Nana is rambling on about in her phone call to me on the way to work but I’m sure she can tell that I’m starting to spiral. Alex can tell that today is one of those days so he asks me if I’m good and when I grunt at him he keeps his distance. God, I’m an ass but I’m obviously not good and I just can’t talk to him about it. Nobody really understands except the boys that I was with when it happened and several of them are dead now. I’m supposed to be their leader and I feel like I should have my shit together. My nightmares continue to worsen throughout the week and I feel like I overcompensate by working harder or exerting myself in more difficult physical pursuits in hopes of tiring my body and my brain out. I forced myself to run four additional miles on Friday even though my leg quickly protested. I focused on pushing through the pain and ended up having to ice my leg after work.

Friday evening finally rolls around, and Emma shows up at the house as planned with a little overnight bag in tow and homemade banana pudding. I’m cooking us some chicken and veggies out back on the grill when she arrives and I feel like I calm a bit just being in her presence. She still looks absolutely adorable as she shows up wearing comfortable clothes-a tank top and soft shorts. I love that she’s feeling relaxed enough with me to just be her most authentic self. After we eat, I fill my belly up with her decadent dessert and I swear I see stars. She’s quite the chef; as if she needed any more of a direct line to my belly or my heart. Assuming she’s still on her period, I ask her if she’s feeling alright and she nods but doesn’t offer more. I suggest we get in bed and watch a movie and she gleefully agreed. We get all cozied up in bed and she chooses a rom-com to put on. Not my first choice, but I’ll do anything to make her smile like that. It’s nice having someone other than myself warm my bed. We fall asleep easily tangled in each other and I’m relieved that I have no nightmares. Maybe Emma is the cure to my nightmares? Or did I really succeed in tiring myself out enough that I slept too hard to dream. Either way, I’m not complaining.

Saturday morning. I wake up at my usual time and smile to myself at finally getting a decent night of sleep. I lay in bed watching my girl dream before I decide to get up and go for a run. If it’s the exercise that helped me sleep last night, I’m not going to miss the opportunity to do it again. I leave a little note on Emma’s nightstand and decide to only run two miles today so I don’t fuck up my leg more than I probably already have. When I get back home, Emma is still a mess of hair and sheets and I can tell that she never missed me. Her hair is halfway across her face, one of her breasts is almost spilling out of her twisted tank top, and the covers are tangled all in her legs which brings a smile to my face. For someone so effortlessly beautiful, she’s kind of a mess when she sleeps and I can’t help but find that to be one of the most endearing things ever. I attempt to take a quick shower and am surprised when ice cold hands wrap around my stomach as my eyes are closed under the spray of the water and I jump like a cat. 

“Damn woman! Your hands are ice cubes.” I say as she laughs uncontrollably.

“Sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to startle you.” She says as she hugs me from behind. 

“I woke up and heard the shower running so I figured you wouldn’t mind if I joined you.” 

“Always, join me Sugar. My favorite showers are the ones with you.” I tell her as I turn around to see her. She’s got her beautiful hair tied up in a bun on top of her head and I shift her so that the water runs down her body to warm her up. I spy her adjust the temperature higher and I can’t help myself.

“What is it with women taking showers equivalent to the heat of lava?” She smiles.

“We are colder than you are. Gotta warm up somehow.” She presses a sweet kiss to my lips before turning around and washing her body. I can’t help but stand there like a creep watching her but I’ll never turn down an opportunity to see her wet and soapy.

“I hope you don’t mind that I hijacked your shower.” She smiled sweetly.

“Darlin’, I was done anyway. Now I’m just here for the show.” I arch my eyebrow at her as she spies my obvious erection.

“Let me help you.” She seductively suggests.

“I can help us both.” I offer but she shakes her head.

“Still on my period.” She replies without making eye contact.

“So?”

“We can’t have sex when I’m on my period!” She looks completely shocked.

“Says who? You know, sex actually helps relieves cramps.”  

“But..I might get blood on your…”

“Dick? What’s your point?”

“Isn’t that gross?” 

“Sugar, I told ya, I’m a man. A little blood isn’t going to scare me off. Now if you’re not interested because you don’t feel well or you just don’t want too, I have no problem with that. But, if you’re not interested because you think I’m going to be grossed out or something, I promise I won’t be. You can have me anytime you want, Sweetness. There’s no pressure either way. If you’re uncomfortable with it, I won’t mention it again.”

“Maybe give me some time to come around to the idea of it. I’ve never really considered it as an option.”

“Sure thing, babygirl.”

“You are something else, Bear. You mean it when you said I can have you anytime I want?”

“Mmhmm.” I say as her fingertips trail down my abdomen and she wraps her hand around my throbbing cock.

“Can I taste you?”

“Always, but don’t feel like you have too. I’ll be alright if not.”

“I want too.” She says before pushing me towards the shower bench and taking me in her mouth. In no time at all, I’m coming down her throat after receiving one of the best blowjobs of my life. She has my legs trembling from the stimulation and I can’t help but caress her cheek and kiss her gently when I come back to reality.

“my EmKay.” I whisper as I kiss her tenderly.

“Your EmKay?” She asks. 

“Mmhmm.” 

“Funny, I don’t remember being asked to be yours.” She haughtily replies.

“Ya’ ain’t going to make this easy on me, are ya?” Shit, what am I doing. I should have thought this through. She shouldn't want to be with me. The unreal blowjob has me not thinking clearly.

“Now why would I do that?” She retorts with a smile. I palm her cheek so that she’s looking right at me.

“Will you be my woman?” I ask seriously. Fuck it. Why not?

“Only if you’re my man.” 

“Well, I’ve been told that I’m a bear, but I’ll be your man too.” I joke before pressing my lips against Emma’s in a feverish kiss.

As the water gets cold, we finally climb out and get dressed for the day. I decide to take Emma out for breakfast at the diner in town before we go in search of furniture for her guest bedroom. Her parents are arriving next weekend and it was adorable when she shyly asked me if I’d be willing to meet them. I assured her that I’d be happy too and to just let me know when.

We spend a few hours at the furniture store where Emma purchases a matching bedroom set before going to a mattress store and trying out all of the mattresses to determine which would be a good purchase for her guest bedroom. They are able to deliver it same day which is nice so we pick a time for it to arrive that afternoon. We then head to a department store so she can pick out curtains, bed linens, and other odds and ends that I’m told a room requires like lamps and decorations. Being a single man for the majority of my adulthood that was mostly away in the military, I didn’t realize how much work women put into buying all of this shit. Why does she need the guest bath towels to match the hand towel in the bathroom? Or all of the little knick-knack items she bought to go on the dresser? I’m even more confused when she was discussing bed trains? No bed skirts. I’ve slept on friends couches without even a blanket but she’s really rolling out the red carpet for her parents. It’s a bit concerning if they are expecting all of this from their daughter who has lived here for under two months. Maybe they don’t expect it and she’s just trying to show them that she’s a capable adult who plans on settling here. I watch as she spends a small fortune trying to get everything in order for their visit. It’s obvious that she values their opinions. What if they don’t like me? I’m certainly different from the preppy type of guy that they’re used to seeing her with. I’m kind of rough around the edges and although I think I’m pretty smart, I certainly don’t hold advanced degrees. I’m broken from my thoughts when Emma asks my opinion about curtains. It’s sweet that she wants my opinion but I’m a fish out of water when it comes to decorating.

We load up all of the stuff and head back to Emma’s house where I get started hanging curtains as we wait on the furniture and mattress delivery. Emma orders us pizza and we munch on pizza and beer for a while. I’m regretting all of my additional workouts after I finally get the bed put together and the mattress put on it. Emma tried to help but she’s so little I didn’t want her to hurt herself so I ended up just man-handling it myself. She had washed the new bedding and put everything together before we took a look at it and she dove across the top of the bed. Emma patted the space beside her and I laid down next to her on top of the comforter. 

“I’m fucking exhausted and I didn’t even lift the heavy stuff.” She exhaled.

“I didn’t realize it was so much work to put together a bedroom. You sure know what you’re doing though.”

“Thank you. I just pick what I like. I couldn’t have done it all without you though, so thank you, baby. I can’t wait to have them visit and see that I’ve got my shit together here. That I’m not some dumb kid who needs rescuing. I’m able to handle myself.” Ahh, so I was right about that. It’s about proving herself to her parents.

“I think they’ll be impressed, Sugar. I know I am.” I smile at her before yawning.

She kisses my lips before scratching my beard gently. 

“Can we go back to yours, shower and then go to sleep? I’m dead on my feet.” She asks as she stands up and fluffs the new pillows. Why are there like 5 pillows that will just get thrown on the floor? Seems wasteful.

“You still want to come back to mine with me?”

She nods. “I want to be with you and the pups. Since they are at yours, it wouldn’t make sense to get them and come back here. I always sleep really good with you…Unless you’re too tired for a sleep over.” She says sheepishly and I wrap my arms around her.

“Nothing could be better than having my girl in my bed with me.” I tell her because I’m beginning to believe it’s the truth. “Let’s go.” 

We turn out all of the lights and lock up before heading back to mine. Emma’s car is still parked out front from where she left it and it makes me happy that she wants to be here with me. There’s a summer storm approaching and the wind has picked up which has Emma’s hair twirling in the breeze. I pull the patio cushions inside when I let the dogs out to do their business. After a quick shower because we are both too tired to do anything but clean ourselves, we do our nighttime routines before climbing into bed. Emma snuggles next to me with her head on my chest and I’m confident that it’s going to be a good night as we drift off to sleep.

It’s hot, but more than just hot. It’s sweltering. I can feel the sweat rolling down my chest and my back. It’s the type of unbearable heat that has your clothes sticking to your skin the instant you walk out of the mess hall. Then you add your gear, and the added weight from your gear plus your sweat soaked clothes is a certain feeling that I’ll never forget. I smell the smoke of an explosion further in the distance. We have our orders and it’s my job to lead our special forces team in to execute our orders exactly like planned. The problem with that is that most things never go as planned. It would be easy for this to be a cookie cutter mission where we get in and out and go back to base and fuck around for the rest of the afternoon. No, this will require me thinking on my feet at every turn. It’s what I’m trained for, hell, I’m the best which is why I’m the captain. I’ve got seven men with me whose lives rely on me assessing our situation and giving correct orders. They are sons, husbands, fathers, brothers, and friends who have people waiting on them at home. Each order I give is weighted by the knowledge that I’m responsible for them. We’re crouched in different positions behind the old dilapidated building that the informant said our guy would be in. The sun is glaring across our faces but we’re in the best position we could be in for this mission. We’ve been after this specific hostile for months and never been this close to him before. We can hear men inside the building, yelling in Arabic and moving around so we must remain completely silent. If we can hear them, they could hear us. We are ghosts that can’t be seen or heard but must work as a team for this to go smoothly. If one person spots us, it will turn into a close-range gun fight that I can’t imagine we will all win. I inhale deeply and even though there is dust on every inch of myself and the ground, I try to focus my thoughts. 

As I am about to give orders to direct my guys to move on to the next step of our plan, I hear the tell-tale whistle of a bullet zipping through the air. I swivel to the left with my gun and look for the insurgent. I can’t see anyone but the bullet buries itself in the left shoulder of Waites across the way from me. We were fucking set up. I swing my gun back around and that’s when it happens, I hear the bullet and feel it explode into my lower left thigh at the same time blood spews from my friend, Goodwin’s head who had crouched beside me when I stood to look for the shooter. My leg gives out and I instantly drop down into the dirt to where I’m level with Goodwin’s face and it’s obvious, he was killed instantly. His eyes are still opened and he has a massive wound to the head. Anthony. Fuck. His girlfriend is expecting a baby girl in a few months. My leg is burning from the inside out but my adrenaline spike helps me ignore the pain and I grab my gun and instantly start shooting towards the rooftop where I believe the sniper might be. I hear Brown screaming before I realize he’s got Waites against the building and is yelling into the radio for help. I watch as insurgents start coming out of the building we were casing and I start taking them out. Lowell goes down. Setas is either hurt or attempting to provide aid to Lowell. I can’t tell but I never stop shooting. Ramirez is also trying to find the source of the ambush with his own gun. Bullets are flying, many from my own gun as I empty the clip into the only building the sniper could have been on, Browns pleas for backup, along with Waites heavy gurgling breaths fill my ears. I feel a hand on my arm and flinch.

            “Austin! Captain…Captain Syverson. Look at me.” Two hands on either side of my face help me focus in. “St..Stand down. You are safe, the threat has been eliminated. Your superiors have given orders to return to base for further instruction. Do you understand?” 

I blink against the water that’s dripping down my face. Emma?

“My men. The injured men in my unit. Where?”

“They are at base getting medical. Captain, I need you to confirm that you understand me.”

I blink and then nod slowly. “Roger that.” I mutter distractedly. I look around. I’m in the backyard of my house, leaning against the brick exterior in my underwear. I have my pistol tucked in the back of the waistband of my boxers and I’m wearing the boots I leave by the back door. In my hands I’m clutching my old hunting rifle that I keep on the top shelf of my closet. Shit. I’ve done it again. I’ve had a PTSD nightmare, but this is so much worse because Emma is here to witness it. I look over at her. She’s crouching on her knees in front of me wearing nothing but my water-soaked t-shirt and panties while she’s barefoot in the mud. Water is dripping from the ends of her hair from the rain that’s pouring down on us. She looks terrified and concerned. 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry.” My throat aches either from unshed tears or maybe I was yelling earlier.

“Austin, baby, are you back?”

I nod. “Emma, I’m so sorry.” I mutter as tears mix with the rain that drips down my face. This is what I was afraid would happen if I got close to her. If I let her in. I would relax and then my past would quite literally present itself.

“Baby, don’t be. You’re okay, we’re okay.” She tells me as she reaches towards my face that’s now aimed at the ground.

“Aika?” 

“I left her inside. I know you said she could help but I wasn’t able to tell if your rifle was loaded and I didn’t want her startling you and there being an accident.” 

Jesus. She was afraid I’d shoot my own dog, because she’s right, I was nowhere near my right mind. Here we are over six months since my last flashback yet this was the most involved PTSD episode I’ve ever had. Thank fuck I keep my ammunition locked and separate from my guns for situations like this. 

She stands and reaches to help me up but I can’t let her help me stand. My leg feels as though it has been shot just yesterday but that could be a result of me crouching on my knees in freezing rain outside in the middle of the night, not just the psychological pain from my flashback. 

“Come on baby.” She takes the rifle from my hand and I don’t protest. I follow her silently back to the house. The air conditioning on our soaked skin has both of our bodies covered in goose bumps. Aika bounds to me whining and crying and I sit down in a chair from the table and run my hands through her thick fur. I bury my face into her back and focus on breathing. My palm clutches my leg that’s radiating phantom pain from where I got shot. Emma appears next to me with a towel but hesitates. 

“Can I help you clean up a bit?” She gestures with the towel.

I nod and she leans down and starts wiping the mud off of my legs. 

“Sugar, I…”

“Baby, nothing needs to be said. I’m okay, and you are going to be. Would you take a warm shower with me?” I look at her and want to just burst into tears. How is she so kind and understanding after what I just did? After what I could have done?

“Please?” She urges and I nod. I follow her to the master bathroom and watch as she turns the water on. Aika stays close and sits down behind me in the bathroom floor. I have no idea what time it is in the night or early morning or how long she’s been awake dealing with me. Emma pulls out two fresh towels for us and then whips the sodden shirt off of her torso before removing her panties. She looks at me and then slowly and gently eases my soaked boxer briefs down my legs before taking my hand and pulling for me to get in the shower. Once I step in, steam surrounds me and I take a deep breath. I’m exhausted, flashbacks always take the energy out of me and it’s not like I’ve been sleeping great this past week. Emma begins lathering a wash cloth with soap and gently starts cleaning me. I stand there perfectly still and let her do what she wants as I attempt to think of anything that I could say to make this situation better. I’m aching with embarrassment. Once she washes me, she quickly washes herself before turning around and caressing her hand on my cheek. She leans down and picks up my wrists that were laying limp by my sides and wraps them around her waist before putting her own around my neck. My eyes are aimed down focusing on the suds swirling around the shower drain.

“Baby, look at me.” She says with the sincerest and worried look on her face and that’s when my resolve breaks. I bury my face into her neck as the hot tears stream from my eyes. I can’t seem to stop them and I ache when I hear myself let out a sob that sounds so painful and broken even to my own ears. Emma tightens her arms around me and guides me back to the bench that we once used for a much different form of intimacy. Emma curls herself around me and holds me tightly while I fully break down. Once my breath starts to come easier, I carefully pull my head from her shoulder and try to clean my face up.

“Let’s dry off and lay down.” She says as she turns off the water and starts toweling me off. I gently take the towel from her, not wanting to be babied but not wanting to seem ungrateful. Once we dry off, Emma hands me some boxers and she tosses on a dry shirt and panties on before we sit on the bed. It’s silent and I feel like I have to say something.

“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what you must be thinkin’ but I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I woke you, scared you and I’m sorry I’m so fucked up. I completely understand if this is the last time I see you.” I say quietly and she looks shocked.

“Austin, I’m not going anywhere. This is what relationships are about. Holding each other through the good and bad. I’m not scared and you’re not fucked up. You’re haunted and although I don’t know the details of it, I want to help you through it. Even if you don’t want my help, I’m not leaving you.”

“You shouldn’t have to deal with this. I should be better. I survived, Damnit! I shouldn’t have any problems. Goodwin, Lowell, Waites, they are the ones who died. I just got shot in my stupid fucking leg after leading them to their deaths!” I sob.

“You are allowed to have problems. Their deaths are hard on you but you are not responsible for it. I don’t know what happened, but I know it’s not your fault.”

“The informant set us up, we were ambushed. Goodwin, God. Goodwin got shot right in front of me. I watched the life drain from his eyes. He has a little girl that he’s never met. If I had questioned the mission from my superiors or done more digging on the informant, they would all be alive right now. I had to look at their family members at their funerals and I’ll never forget the grief from their loved ones. Goodwin’s pregnant girlfriend, Lowell’s widow, Waites’ mom. I still see them sobbing over their caskets in my mind. I didn’t deserve to live when they didn’t get too.” I finally say out loud. I take deep breaths attempting to calm my body from going into another spiral.

“Bear.” Emma reaches for me.

“It’s been years and I still get like this. Hell, it might be getting worse. I don’t think this is something I’ll just get over. I’m too fucked up, Emma. You deserve someone who doesn’t have these types of demons.” My eyes blink heavily.

“You are not fucked up. I deserve you because you treat me better than I’ve ever been treated before.” My eyes droop and I know it’s a result of the flashback. When I have them, my body goes through the trauma all over again so when the adrenaline finally stops coursing through my body, I basically crash.

“Love, you look exhausted. Can you try to sleep for me?” She asks and gently pushes for me to lay down. My head is resting between her breasts as she lays back on her back. We’ve never laid like this before but it’s comforting.

“I’m right here, I’m not leaving. Aika’s here and so is Mills.” She tells me while caressing my head but my eyes are already closed, too heavy to fight staying open longer. I wrap my arm around her waist and within moments, I’m deeply asleep soothed by the steady rhythm of Emma’s heartbeat as she caresses my scalp.

Part 11

Taglist: @shellyshellshell, @henryownsme, @caramariehurst, @beck07990, @mollymal, @kingliam2019, @syversonswife, @identity2212, @starfirewildheart, @hannah9921, @wa-ni, @kneelforloki, @cutedoxie, @enchantedbytomandhenry, @foxyjwls007, @geralts-yenn, @courtlynwriter, @corrie1013, @squeezyvalkyrie, @summersong69, @livisss, @mayloma, @uunotheangel, @warriormirkwood

[hwaseonghwasworld]

Brothers Best Friend Chapter 1: The Waiting Game

Summary: Yunho doesn’t want his baby sister (Y/n) dating any of his friends especially Mingi since they are like brothers to him and it’s an issue when all Y/n’s friends are dating Yunho’s friends but he wouldn’t let Y/n talk to any guys since he’s so overprotective, it’s such a shame that she’s been with Mingi for almost 2 years and no one knows. What will happen if Yunho finds out?

Song Mingi x Reader

Warnings: cursing, fights, smut

Word count: 1k

Genre: series, angst, comedy, fluff, hidden relationship, Highschool!au

Updates: probably Friday at 10pm BST

Waking up was always the hardest for me, especially when my annoying brother yanks the blanket off of me leaving me in the cold which woke me up. “You asshole” Yunho laughed at the fact that I was suffering trying t grab the blanket he was gripping onto, since i will never be a morning person he always had to be the one to wake me up and every time he does, I curse at him.

After verbally abusing my older brother, i finally got up and took a shower, then finished off my morning routine; doing my skincare routine, makeup and I put my uniform on, after walking downstairs my dad made breakfast and pecked my forehead.

“I’m going on a business trip for a week” Yunho and I looked at him with the same confused look “please don’t destroy the house or throw any parties like last time, Y/n” I smile at my dad and nodded promising that I won’t throw a party.

“Yunho you’re in charge, and Y/n here’s my card if you want to buy anything” my dad gave me his card and I smile hugging and thanking him while Yunho looked at me in shock since our dad never gives Yunho his whole credit card whenever he asks for money. As soon as it was time to go to school Yunho drove us to school, and I went to my friends who were busy kissing and flirting with their boyfriends.

“Girlsss” I look at them in shock as they weren’t listening to me, “I’ve been standing here for for too long let’s go to class please” they giggled and said bye to their boyfriends and we all walked into Miyeon, Minnie and Soyeon’s home room class since they’re the oldest in our group they were in the same classes as well as my brother and 3 of his other friends. Since the bell had just rang the rest of our group walked into our home room class and we sat in our assigned seat. Mingi passed me and we looked at each other smiling.

“You two are so cute, I ship you too” yuqi looked at me smiling adding on about how we should date I had to add something so they could forget about the idea of me and Mingi, “My brother would kill me, that’s his best friend” “what about San?” I looked at shuhua and she smiled awkwardly knowing I’m gonna say that he’s dating Ryujin.

“Ok felix” “you two have a lot in common” I sighed hoping they will give up trying to match make me with someone “You two are acting like I can’t just pick a guy and date him, that’s not how this works” “I’m just gonna stay single for a little longer” Shuhua smiled thinking that I have a motive on why I said that, “yes play the waiting game, wait for the guy to come to you, good idea” “that’s not what I- never mind” I roll my eyes since they were just making up whatever at this point.

As soon as the bell rang for the end of homeroom the teacher swapped with our maths teacher. I hate maths so I was already struggling with the work. I don’t even understand why my brain won’t function when it comes to maths it’s like it hits reset whenever I look at a maths question.

“Do you need help” Mingi leaned forwards and whispered to me, I nodded and he took my book and wrote down an easier way to do the equation. I quietly thank him and my friends were quietly fangirling over us. Once the lesson ended the teacher put us in pairs, I was with Mingi. We had a free class so Mingi put his seat besides me and whispered something.

“Now I have a reason to go to your house” I smile hitting his arm a little, my brother caught us talking, he walked into the class and pulled me behind him. “Yah! I told you not to talk to my sister” San stood up seeing that my brother looked like he was gonna punch his best friend “relax they’re study partners” “then why are they smiling at each other”

Yunho looked back at Mingi in anger “that’s because I helped her with her work” “and she was thanking me” I pushed Yunho getting annoyed at him being overprotective “go back to your class” “just to be sure, you’re going on a double date with me” me and Mingi looked at each other saying “what” in sync, Yunho looked at us confused then looked at Mingi for validation.

“Yeah no thanks” Mingi quickly glanced back at me and saw how sad I looked. “Why not?” “Are you interested in my sister?” The whole room was filled with silence as Yunho waited for. Mingi’s answer, “fine I’ll go but don’t expect me to be interested in them” “that’s fine by me” Yunho smiled thinking that he broke a spark between me and Mingi.

Mingi looked at me with an apologetic look like he saw the sadness and rage in my eyes, I stepped out of the class and I walked into the girls toilets Yuqi and Shuhua went after me and the other girls saw them chase after me so they walked out of their free class aswell.

“What happened” miyeon ran up to me wandering why I looked so upset “I think she has a crush on Mingi” Shuhua nodded agreeing with yuqi’s statement making the older wander what’s going on “Yunho told him to go on a double date with him after he saw him and Y/n together” I had enough of hat they’re saying so I decided to just say it.

“You guys don’t understand” “I don’t have a crush on him” they looked at me confused wandering why I’m so mad “then what is it?” I look at them sighing as I get ready tell them the truth. I didn’t know how they would react since I hid it from them them for almost 2 years but at the same time I had told them earlier my brother could have found out and ruin our relationship before we could even start one. And even when Yunho doesn’t know it feels like he’s found a way to cause drama in out quiet relationship.

Next chapter

Masterlist

[ordinaryschmuck]

Let's try something a little differently tonight.

Ten good things that happened this year:

Started Full Family AU and got some fun writing it.

Gave up trying to read every Marvel comic ever made. That is...an unrealistic goal. I see that now. From now on, it's just reading whatever I want for however long I can.

Got more into The Amazing Digital Circus. The Pilot wasn't bad, but it didn't really suck me in like it did everyone else. The next three episodes we got this year, however, has steadily made the show sky rocket into one of my latest obsessions that I look forward to seeing continue day after day.

Consumed a lot of good superhero media. X-Men 97, Deadpool & Wolverine, the rest of Invincible Season 2, The Penguin and even something like Agatha All Along managed to surprise me with how good it was. None of the highs reached the same as last years, but for the first time in a while I'm more hopeful for the MCU again and looking forward to what DC can bring next. I'm also got really into the new Ultimate universe. The Ultimates and Ultimate Spider-Man are the definite highlights of the year, taking the characters we know and revamping them into newer, more mature stories. Ultimate Black Panther and Ultimate X-Men doesn't strike me as strongly as the others, but I still look forward to see what happens next as both are gearing up for a bigger, darker story.

I gained much more of a hefty collection of Marvel Legends figures that are cool to have all at once.

I'm almost finished with my final review of The Owl House. It was nice looking over every aspect of the show possible.

Started this thing where I'll occasionally have randomized marathons of some of my favorite shows. Really helps give the brain the mental reset it often needs.

Finally got some Therapy that made me feel a better sense of understanding about myself. But given what's going to happen in 2025 and the lows I've been experiencing as this year ticks closer to an end, I think it's safe to say that I'll need to talk to someone again, real soon. And I'm glad to think about doing that again.

Stopped following some people on Twitter and Tumblr, for the sole reason that they either have needlessly cynical opinions about media I consume or because they're just overly angry at everything. Sometimes it's justified but other times it's clear that they either read way too much into one thing or are quick to judge something or someone because they made up their mind before a counterargument can be made. That type of toxicity isn't good to listen to, even if there was SOME content I liked to follow. It's not worth it anymore and I'm proud to give that up.

Got a Lego Dinosaur for my birthday. His name is now Chompers, and I love him.

And, to keep mixing things up...

Ten good improvements I've made to myself:

I'm getting better at ignoring others instead of starting shit or sticking my nose into something it doesn't belong.

I'm accepting that there isn't anything wrong with me liking certain media that some people might call TRASH. I like what I like, and it's okay to admit that.

I'm starting to realize that my diet...isn't healthy, and I'm at least willing to admit that and WANT to make some changes. Committing to that is difficult, chocolate's AMAZING, but I'm okay to improve myself. That says something.

I finally gave up Twitter more and moved over to Bluesky. It's good for me and I can share whatever opinion I want without some fucker calling me out. Or ANYONE out. It's a site to make your peace and share whatever you want without inviting arguments. I wish it had something similar to Twitter's trending feature, but I'm fine with what it is and it's better for me.

I'm getting better at talking to people and getting better at keeping my rage down. I'm not completely rage free, but is anyone ever?

I'm getting better at letting myself relax. Sometimes, a day's just draining and I need time to let myself rest. There's nothing wrong with that.

I'm getting better at realizing my flaws and managing them.

I'm becoming more okay again with respecting people using other means to watch content. I was VERY not okay with it because doing so hurts good shows from continuing to exist, but given how studios and networks are doing their damnedest to erase every good show they've made because they want to make room for reality TV and AI slop, I feel like it's best to describe "special means" as a sense of media preservation. Take it from a guy who spent a good part of his year watching the original episodes of his favorite Sci-Fi series. It's never a good thing to have parts of things you love get erased forever, no matter the quality of it.

I'm gaining a better media consuming pallet. Can't watch children's cartoons and superhero movies forever. Now, I'm watching ADULT cartoons and a few more challenging stuff. Not always, but I still make time to watch something better for my maturing brain.

I'm getting better at realizing that I'm not...young anymore. I'm not a teenager, I'm not a child. I'm an adult in his mid-twenties. It's time to start acting better and more mature instead of the same child who wasn't that great dealing with in the first place. I'm getting better at that, and I'll hopefully gain a better understanding of it in the new year.

That's the good things of the year. Good things about me, and good things that I went through. Not a lot has happened, but it doesn't need to. I can let the big things occur next year. Just...hoping a certain someone doesn't ruin it.

[oliversrarebooks]

Whumptober 2023 Day One: Swooning

Masterlist

TW: mind control, hypnotic induction, vampiric blood drinking

It's late at night, the moon is high overhead, and you've been on your feet for over ten hours now.

At least it's over, at least for eight hours or so, enough time to go home, get some food and a few hours of sleep before you're called back in to deal with the same shit on a different day. You make your way through the darkened office on your way to the parking garage. There doesn't seem to be a single soul around, every computer powered down and conference room closed up, the only light coming from the wall-mounted screens that show company profits and upcoming mandatory fun events.

You're eerily alone.

"Um, excuse me? Is someone there?"

Or apparently not.

You turn, and see that one of the desks is occupied by a young woman in a blue dress with flowing dark hair. You might have seen her before, passed her in the hallways or exchanged small talk at a meeting, but you're not sure, and you certainly don't know her name. Her eyes seem unnaturally bright in the dim light of the empty office, illuminated by her laptop screen.

"Sorry to bother you, but there's no one else around, and I think I got locked out of my laptop. Do you know how I can reset my password?"

"...Sure." You do a poor job of hiding the momentary displeasure on your face. You're dead tired and just want to leave, but it is a simple enough request. Maybe you haven't seen her before -- she must be new. "On your phone, you can email support desk at seaport bank dot com and ask for a password unlock. Got it?"

Her smile doesn't show her teeth. "Got it."

She's still staring at you. It makes you feel uneasy. "Well... have a good evening, then," you say, taking a step away.

"Be still."

Your eyes widen in shock as your muscles freeze in place. You can't take that step. You can't do anything but look at the woman.

"That's it, nice and still," she says, still with the same unsettling smile on her face. "And be quiet, not that there's anyone here to hear you."

Instinctively, you try to scream, but the sound dies before it can pass your throat. Your attempt to move only tenses your muscles as you remain firmly rooted in place. Still.

"Relax," she says, leaning forward and observing you. "Just relax, pet. You're fine. Everything is fine."

Relaxation washes over you despite your fear. You can feel your muscles unclench, your limbs going loose and heavy. Your brain struggles to catch up with what's happening here. Is this an illusion, brought on by sleep deprivation and stress? Are you going to wake up at your desk, the strange dream of a psychic co-worker fading to nothing?

"That's it, just relax." She's swaying rhythmically now, and your body sways with her. You helplessly watch as she moves her fingers in time with the rhythm, capturing your gaze with fluttering hand gestures, back and forth. The world around you begins to dim as your focus narrows only on her.

She begins beckoning inward, motioning as though she was a puppeteer pulling on your strings. You feel yourself taking a step forward, and then another. "Yes, that's it. Come closer," she sings. "Closer, and deeper into my power."

You sleepwalk towards her, vision tunneled on nothing but her eyes and her hands, your thoughts slowing and your mind growing foggy. A small voice inside you warns you of the danger, but you want to be closer, need to be closer. 

You're standing in front of her now, still swaying gently. She motions downward, and you kneel, and she smiles and pets your hair. "Very good," she says. "So docile." Your heavy eyelids flutter.

She tilts your chin up to look into her eyes, and you can see the entire night sky in there, swirling around your head like a planetarium show. "You won't remember a thing," she says. "Forget, forget, forget, and go to sleep."

There's a brief moment of recognition. You've seen her before. You've been here before. And then your mind slips. You need to forget, and you do. You feel yourself nod drowsily as your eyes close down all by themselves.

The hand that was under your chin now pulls your collar aside, brushing your neck with a delicate touch. She runs the same hand through your hair as she tips your head to the side. It's familiar, but you need to forget. Need to submit. Something you know in a place deeper than conscious memory.

Her hands are so cold as grasps you, prepares you. "Feel no pain," she whispers in your ear. "Relax, sleep, and forget."

"Yes'm," you mumble in your sleep, the first words you've spoken since she ordered you to be quiet, a world away from this.

Something sharp grazes the side of your neck, and you do not flinch or shy away. The pinprick pressure does not hurt you. Your mind drifts further, so far away, as she drinks from the wounds, warm blood flowing from your helpless body. 

After a few moments of peace where the only thing in the world is the sound of her feeding, you start to feel dizzy, your knees trembling and your head sinking further towards your chest. You do not wish to deny her what she needs, but there's a sleep coming over you that's stronger than even her spell, and you can't stave it off for long. The dizziness suddenly increases, and you swoon into her arms. She rubs your back in slow circles as she feeds from you, and everything else fades away into oblivion. 

You will forget this, as you have every time before, waking up at your desk exhausted and hungry, assuming you fell asleep there before you could leave for the night, and nothing will change.

Masterlist

[fantasy-relax]

Me to my brain: you are mean to donna.

My brain: I'm not.

Me: yes you are! Look at her!

My brain: is not like she just wake up and choose to kill Mc!

Me: then?

My brain: I mean in the first runs, they ended in the neutral ending. Donna loved them but still choose to let them go. She warned them about Miranda thinking that what she wanted was another cult member, a important one the key to bring back Eva and for that reason Miranda was obsessed with Mc.

She did that a lot of times. In the last one Mc confessed their love and she still let them go.

Then the next one she fights for keeping that and she wins.

Now her Depresion and suicidal ideation are gone with the power of love!

Hahaha no.

She is happier, but still have bad days, the difference is that now Mc is helping to manage it. Sometimes that means holding her while she cries to sleep, sometimes is making food for her, sometimes is just working in silence, what she needs vary but MC is there for her.

Me: that sounds like dependence.

My brain: it is! Donna is dependent to Mc like she is to Angie. Without them she will fall to edge and guess what?

Me: what?

My brain: Mc know it! They were searching for a good and reliable therapist! They know that she needs profesional help also life is a roulete something could happen to them and donna will not cope well with that like she is now. So they talked about that with Angie and in the last months they talked with donna, they were planning to go slowly and they were trying some methods to help her.

Buuuut

They were reseted.

And truly if they had more time Donna will had gotten a lot better and even after everything she would hadn't gone to the deep end.

Now, when donna remember that life she is heartbroken and had a really bad attack.

Me: see you are hurting her!

My brain: she gets better!

Me: what?

My brain: she remember that Mc and Angie wanted her to actually heal so she tries for them. She had no idea with who Mc ends before the loop is restarted.

Is a sisyphean task. Because every time she makes progress she is reseted, yes she remembers the past loops but her brain is not capable of keeping all the information. Even so she is advancing a little.

And if MC never had come back to her she would had gotten better. Not as good as with them but better.

MC comes back to her, she fights and lose. Her cult end happens again and again and again.

Me:...

My brain: there was even one time were she kill Angie!

Me:...

My brain: she is not a step of the edge anymore after all that, she is holding a rock so she doesn't fall!

Me crying: let her be happy, please.

My sadistic brain: AND SHE WILL HAVE CLIMBED IF MIRANDA WASN'T A PETTY BITCH!

You see after Mc don't came back. She still had a few memories were she worked in her mental health, she was planning in working on that again.

Did she missed Mc? Yes

But they don't choose her this time.

Did that hurt? Like a bitch.

But she loved them. She still do. So if they are happy and safe with someone else then that's enough for her.

She was curious but she doesn't go out her way to find who is with Mc.

They arent with Angie she would have know it Or with Daniela or Cassandra.

So she thinks is Bela but then she is called to help to reset her.

That left alcina. She is not all happy about that but is enough.

She gets the answers that she never wanted when Miranda calls for a meeting and see Mc by her side with that lovesick look and something darker.

And Miranda looks at her.

Smiling all smug and proud of herself.

After that her mind goes blank. She doesn't know what she did until is already done.

She cries, she begs for forgiveness, she is an absolute wreck.

Me sobbing in the floor: STOP PLEASE.

My sadistic evil brain: and Mc came back to her.

Now, the amount of trauma that the past loops put her through, especially the last one is too much.

She doesn't care anymore if she dies. If Miranda take away Angie then she will end everything. She doesn't care anymore she just wants Miranda to suffer.

And can you blame her?

She truly doesn't want to hurt Mc. And when she kills them she is gentle and fast.

She only do this when Mc is with Miranda. She let's them be with the others bachelorettes.

Its just bad luck and Miranda influence that Mc ends with the headmistress a lot more of times.

And Donna keeps her word even if she is losing parts of her every single time.

When Mc is finally with her she doesn't feel like she had won.

Me staring at the roof with a lost look while laying in a pool of my tears:...

My brain: maybe I'm a little mean to donna.

[silvertws]

PETRO WAS CRYING AND I WAS CRYING OMFG.

SABRE WHY.

WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO US.

Nah.

Nah.

Bro better pull a fucking 180 on that freaking little fairy-blue thing BECAUSE HELL NAH, HELL TO HELL TO THE NAH.

Leave the boys alone bish.

I'm too attached to them.

I cannot.

I CANNOT HANDLE ANOTHER APO-OWEN SITUATION OK?!!!

I think I would simply perish.

Gone.

Just like that.

Poof!

I hate how attached I am to the silly Minecraft guys.

BUT MY BRAIN... THE PARASITE... THE DEMON IN MY BRAIN WANTS TO LIKE THE SILLY MINECRAFT GUYS...

I need someone as unhinged as me to talk about the sillies, for my own sanity.

Which is, barely there honestly, but that's besides the point.

I believe in redemption arcs PETRO PLEASE, PLEASE YOU CAN STILL FIX THIS.

Please, I just want them to all be happy, I'm sobbing.

ncjekwlalls PLEASE.

Let the fellas be happy.

Like, I usually don't ship characters ok? After Origins I just don't.

But tbh platonically??? Hell yeah, let the fellas be wholesome, no kissing no nothing, just hugging, telling each other sweet things- I will literally be kicking my feet like a little kid.

Also, on a side note.

Ruined Reality rants and theories up ahead.

Heyyyyy guys how are we feeling about the Newest Ruined Reality episode??? Yeah all good? Just doing a check in on all of us.

I mean, yeah, as expected.

Also, alright, this is gonna become a slight theory moment.

Rainbow crystal + heart of the soulstice?

You know how the rainbow crystal is made with the energy of the chromatics?

Yeah well, if the rainbow crystal still works, which I'm led to believe , fusing that energy with the heart, could potentially... Either give life back to the chromatics... Or... Create new chromatics but using the older souls, kinda like reincarnation.

ALSO AH, MY THEORIES WERE KINDA CORRECT HELL YEAH.

Mf First Curse better not bother Light smh Balance, go punch him, you literally can, since you belong in the same omniverse-? So go and punch him thank you very much.

Anyway.

I seriously do not know if Light will be able to bring everyone back.

If he manages to bring Steves back, it's definitely not gonna be everyone.

Not only because a lot of bodies were destroyed, but also for a storytelling factor.

Which is why all of them staying dead is a bittersweet victory, sure, you did it Light, good job! Every Steve who's left is now safe from that! Except... Well, the last Steve kingdom kinda... Doesn't like you. So I don't know if you're going to be allowed there...

Oh, so living with the professor? Yeah sure, if you want to have another metal rod in your leg you can.

Living with Ellie and uh... Cassian....?(I am so bad with names omg) in their little magic thing?

Yeah sure.

Go on.

They already adopted you my good sir, come on, they saw you and were like "yes, this one, ours now, yoink"

Also NCIEKSKSLLSLK PROXIMA.

Proxima the GOAT.

The FUCKING GOAT.

Even in death, EVEN IN DEATH BRO WAS STILL THE GOAT.

Another possibility.

TFC: "yo Light, sup"

Light "gtfo"

TFC "No u"

And then Light gets sent to ANOTHER UNIVERSE Just to suffer AGAIN.

Because remember kids.... TFC cursed Light to suffer FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND- yeah you get the gist of it.

So what happens when there's nothing more to make him suffer with in one universe...?

That's right... You send him to another one so he has to start all over again... And again.. and again...

BUT BIT BUT

I find this very unlikely because the reset trope is kinda overused and annoying and I also believe it would take out from the whole experience.

Like on a long run, it makes sense that TFC would do that.

BUT THIS IS A MINECRAFT ROLEPLAY GUYS.

There's just some things you cannot do or play with enough depth.

So, going back on the main topic.

What happens now?

Well, Light, Seer, Galaxy and To- FUCK THAT MF KILLED SOREN AGAIN I CANNOT.

I CANNOT WITH THIS GUY.

Smh, letting Light go through the loss of Soren not once BUT TWICE.

smh.

Anyway.

Now.

I already tried to explain how I think the rainbow crystal might be tied to "fixing" this.

And I think that's honestly our best bet.

Like, before this episode, I honestly thought they were simply going to yoink it from Lewis and Light was gonna use it.

But apparently they didn't do that...

Also like I'm sorry.

WHY THE FUCK DID THE RAINBOW CRYSTAL, STAY FUSED WITH LEWIS EVEN IF HE WAS DEAD.

Nah cause like, I always found that, not particularly logical.

Without the energy from the host, the only thing left with energy IS the crystal.

It would have made sense, in that case, if the crystal, its energy, also caused Lewis body to "live" but without actually being Lewis. But pure energy.

How would the crystal stay fused with Lewis?

Does that mean bro still has some energy somehow?

Was it the soul energy that kept them forcibly united?

I'm probably looking too much into it ngl, it's probably another plot hole or simply something that will be explained later... Maybe.

If the rainbow crystal is not going to be used in any way with the heart, I'll be surprised.

It could be like, a rainbow heart or whatever.

It's seriously the only thing I have going on right now.

Because it's the only thing with enough chromatic energy left to actually do something.

Unless SOMEHOW Light goes back to the other Steve Kingdom and Genesis is fucking alive, just like that, randomly, because he can.

I have no idea if any other deities are actually canon in RR.

Is Origin Steve canon? Or any of the other things in Rainbow Quest? Because Seer, Colle, Genesis, are all things from there as we know.

So just how much from that universe also transpired into this one?

Are demon Steves a problem we're going to have to deal with after everything and Seer is finally put to rest?

Also, yes, Seer will die.

I mean, he literally asked to be killed guys, what do you want? I say let him die. Colle is gone, that's enough pain already, I'm not gonna watch Seer becoming Void again (which btw, I think it's already happening or has already happened during the fight and Void is simply playing with everyone as per usual).

Still hoping for a Light corruption/villain arc (more like corrupt) because bro deserves to let out some steam and I support Light in literally everything he will do at this point.

He needs a beach episode fr.

Actually, no.

WE need a beach episode.

... I'm drawing that shit, I'm putting that in my nonexistent list of things I need to draw for my own sanity.

Oh.

Wait.

I completely forgot about the redstone core guys.

I mean, I don't think that's gonna help..? Idk I feel like it's a different energy from the one in the crystal or the heart so... Idk...

But maybe it could still be used for other things???

Also, we could simply get a time skip, to like, months later or something.

It has happened before and I honestly wouldn't mind it.

There's like, the option of going to the last Steve kingdom and asking them for help, but they must have moved by now, sure we can locate them with the assistant I suppose, if it comes down to it.

Also, one thing.

(idk man, some of y'all might find this offensive or call me chronically online for this :/)

Me whenever gay is used mockingly in a Steve-verse story while literally everyone is the same fucking gender as the other and their reproduction is literally based on MAGIC.

Like I'm sorry but make it make sense.

It's probably one of the things that annoys me the most.

I'm not saying that now everyone is forced to accept ships between certain characters.

I'm saying that there are not many sexuality options in a world where there's usually one gender.

You're either, Aromantic or something on that spectrum, Asexual or in that spectrum, Gay because there's literally one gender there to be attracted to.

Unless we're talking about universes that use more.

Or we could bring in the possibility that since they're all Steves or Alexes, they're all canonically non-binary.

I don't give a single fuck about romance, I can live without it.

But it annoys me, when comments are made, that logically speaking, don't make sense.

One of the biggest plot holes in RR until Ellie was introduced, was Cliff talking about women.

Which was resolved when Ellie came through and was like "no yeah, we exist actually, well used to".

Which again creates another plot hole to how tf did Cliff even meet one of those if they went extinct.

Disclaimer

I wanna clarify that I love RR and the other Steve verse stories or I wouldn't be talking about them. And that my rants are not directed towards the creators in any way, I do not, nor cannot, dictate how they decide to write their stories.

It's their tale to tell, I'm just here to watch, and listen.

I have opinions just like everybody else and if anybody ever takes offense (for some reason) to what I say, suck it up , talk to me like a normal person.

There are opinions to which I'm not willing to change my mind on, but I will still listen to others, just like there's some of which I will probably change my mind on.

As long as you're respectful about it, so will I.

Anyhow, I'm shit at explaining my opinions, because I'm horrible at conversations and English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if I made it look like I was being rude or judgemental.

[thedragonagebigbang]

Bang Creator Interview: Bang Creator Interview: Tumblr: @contreparry  |  AO3: ContreParry

The Collaboration period has begun! In these quiet months before works are due, we want to foster a sense of excitement, camaraderie, and celebration among our participants. To that end, all participants were given the option of a formal interview by our mod, Dema, or an informal “ask-game” survey. We hope you enjoy getting to know our phenomenal creators as much as we have!

You Won't Believe What She Was Hiding In Her Office!

Contre Parry and Dema talk gardening, hype-squads, horse girls, and “Sysiphean fun.” 

Dema: To hop right in: Writing. How Is It Going

Contre Parry: ... I think to say "it's going" would be horribly revealing, wouldn't it?

Dema: Haha it's okay to be honest!

Contre Parry: But it's going! Some days I make progress, and other days it's like slamming my face into a brick wall. But when you hit the sweet spot of "I know where I'm going," it's all worth the brick wall days.

Dema: Is there anything that helps you reset?

Contre Parry: Gardening! I go and pull weeds. I think the act of 'doing something useful' makes me feel a little better about not making progress on my writing. Like "Hey, you didn't write that scene, but you cleared out the veggie patch! Don't feel bad!" And that resets the brain and makes me look back at what I was stuck on.

Dema: I feel like there is a great metaphor in there.

Contre Parry: There's got to be, but it's going to require lots of edits to get it to come through!

Dema: Eyyyyyy!

I, too, like to garden. I think it helps to have a hobby that uses a completely different part of my brain. And of course, to touch grass.

Contre Parry: Oh yes! Grass touching is essential. It's also a great reminder of "sometimes it's just not going to work, and that's okay!" ... I tried to grow some lettuce. It did not work.

Dema: Ah yes. I will never attempt lettuces again because I cannot bring myself to kill the little white butterflies.

Contre Parry: "But they need to eat too!"

Dema: Exactly, lol. When you do sit down to write after a wall day, is there anything that helps you get back in the zone?

Contre Parry: I'll get my computer (or phone, depending on location), sit down with a drink, and tell myself that it doesn't matter if it's bad, it just matters that it's DONE. And I repeat that last line as many times as needed.

Dema:  Wow this interview is well-timed for me, lol!

Contre Parry: I'm glad if it helps you out! Sometimes it also helps to find a person who REALLY wants to see what you're writing. So then you can bounce ideas off them and workshop what you got stuck on.

Dema: Do you work with a beta? or do you mean more of a hype person, who isn't editing?

Contre Parry: More like a hype person. In my case, I'll send segments to one of my friends or my brother. Example: I was working on a fic for FFXIV, and I sent a snippet of dialogue to a friend who has never played FFXIV and has no idea who these characters are. And her response ("Kill Him") was actually super helpful, because for me it meant "Oh I wrote this character right." So that interaction got me fired up to finish that scene, because I knew I was onto something!

Dema: Oh that is interesting! And so nice to have supportive friends who will read it even if they aren't fans of the source media!

Contre Parry: It really is! What was super helpful is that this particular friend is very skilled at writing characters having messy, awful fights. So comments like that? Truly special.

Dema:  It sounds like, in general, writing is a pretty social experience for you?

Contre Parry: It is! As much as I like to work on my writing and drop it with a "here it is," behind the scenes I'm bouncing ideas off of lots of people. Sometimes the act of just talking to someone else helps me work through all the problems!

Dema:  For a Bang fic that seems especially helpful, since it's long and in a set timeframe. Has this fic-writing process felt any different than your usual process? Do you do more planning, for example? Less?

Contre Parry: This project was different for me because I came into it without a firm plan in place. I knew what I wanted to write, but I didn't figure out my angle. For most of my stories I have a plan. So if I wander off of my plan, I at least know where and why I did that. This one, though, I went in wanting to write about a one-off line in Dragon Age: Inquisition. And that was it!

Dema: Oooo I wish I could ask which line but that will be a spoiler, I fear. Do a lot of your stories begin that way? Jumping off from a particular line or piece of lore?

Contre Parry:  Most of the time I start with a character, and all of their associated backstory. And if something jumps out at me, makes me go "Why are you like this?" then I start exploring that. "But why?" is sort of my starting point, and then I try to answer that question with varying success.

Dema: Are those usually canon characters? Or do you write more OCs?

Contre Parry: Usually canon, though I love writing OCs. I particularly love writing OCs who are side characters. There's a lot of flexibility and room to grow in those areas!

Dema:  Will it be a spoiler if I ask about your favorite original side- character?

Contre Parry: Not at all! I have one from a story and a few short drabbles I wrote on my tumblr, and she's not in my Big Bang fic so it will be safe to discuss! She's the Inquisitor's niece. I created her thinking "well, my Inquisitor Trevelyan's got a big family with very strained relations, what if she had a niece she never met? What would she be like? How would they meet? Why would they meet?" And that's how I created Henrietta, who is a thirteen year old horse girl.

Dema:  You are really tugging on my heartstrings LOL, I was not prepared to feel so many things in this interview.

Contre Parry: haha, good things, I hope!

Dema: As a former 13yo horse girl, very yes, haha.

Contre Parry: Henrietta's fun because she's a bit of a chatterbox, and is very free with her thoughts and feelings as opposed to her aunt, my Inquisitor. The contrast is fun.

Dema: So when you say room to grow, do you mean for the protagonists? Like these side characters are providing additional character development? Or do you ride off into the sunset with Henrietta for a while?

Contre Parry: Protagonists, worldbuilding, the side characters themselves- it's all a chance to make the world a richer place. Like, Henrietta sees the events of the story from a different perspective and hears stuff that others won't, but she also interprets them as a thirteen year old would. It's like opening another window into the world of the story! So we ride into the sunset with Henrietta, and we see a different Thedas than what we might as a player, you know?

Dema:  Do you tend to write from an omniscient POV? Or are your readers mostly seeing through that window via dialogue? 

Contre Parry: More like a limited omniscient. We're with one character and seeing and feeling things from their perspective. Sometimes I'll switch between characters, but mostly you're stuck with one person. I want to experiment with other POVs more, but that might have to wait until I finish my WIP mountain.

Dema: Ah, yes. The WIP mountain is ever growing. Do you have a side project you are working on while you work on your DABB fic? Or do you try to stick to one thing at a time? (haha do any of us do this???)

Contre Parry: I'm editing that FFXIV fic at the moment, and I usually like having a side project to hop to whenever I feel truly stuck. Like gardening, the jump to something completely different is a hard reset. But once I finish those edits, I'll just have to pick something else off of the WIP pile to work on! Maybe I'll try to be efficient and slowly grind that mountain down to dust! (... she says, knowing this will not happen.)

Dema: It's Sisyphean. If Sisyphus was having fun.

Contre Parry: Sisyphus, I know you got a fanfic in your heart. I know it!

Dema: Now, you may already be aware of the click-bait titles. In our last minutes, can you come up with one for your fic? 

Contre Parry: You Won't Believe What She Was Hiding In Her Office!

Dema: Amazing. You were so ready with that one haha!

Contre Parry: Now all we need is some sort of stockphoto of someone looking surprised. Just so surprised! Hands in the air and everything.

Dema: I should really make a collection of them. If I had all the time in the world I'd do DA sketches. [Dear artists: feel free to use this as a prompt ;)]

Contre Parry: Oh, to be able to break space and time...

Dema:  if only! Then perhaps I would someday see the summit of wip mountain. But alas! Thank you for taking the time to chat with me, Contre Parry! It has been a delight 

Contre Parry:  Thanks for the interview! It was lots of fun! And I think it helped me as well! Clickbait title and all.

[ijustwanttoescapethatfrog]

Hello I once again present to you - Taylor Swift songs that make me think of Mean Girls.

So I'm obsessed with this idea and need to remove it from my brain. Color coded pink for Regina vibes and purple for Janis vibes and regular text is both vibes.

Also this is a very good song

Someone please validate my feelings I love you

Lilac short skirt, the one that fits me like skin

Did your research, you knew the price goin' in

And I'll tell you one thing, honey

I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean

Standing at the bar like something's funny, bubbly

Once you fix your face, I'm goin' in

Whether I'm gonna be your wife or gonna smash up your bike, I haven't decided yet but I'm gonna get you back

Whether I'm gonna curse you out or take you back to my house, I haven't decided yet but I'm gonna get you back

I hear the whispers in your eyes

I'll make you wanna think twice

You'll find that you were never not mine

You're mine

Small talk, big love act like I don't care what you did

I'm an Aston Martin that you steered straight into the ditch, then ran and hid

And I'll tell you one thing, honey

I can take the upper hand and touch your body

Flip the script and leave you like a dumb house party

Or I might just love you 'til the end

(Chorus repeats with "Whether I'm gonna flip you off or pull you into the closet I haven't decided yet but I'm gonna get you back")

I can feel it comin', hummin' in the way you move

Push the reset button, we're becoming something new

Say you got somebody, I'll say, "I got someone too"

Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leaving here with you

Bygones will be bygone eras fadin' into gray

We broke all the pieces but still want to play the game

Told my friends I hate you, but I love you just the same

Pick your poison, babe I'm poison either way

[spiritsglade]

🫘🦷 for the ask game!!

hiii birdie. i found a way to talk about among us again.

🫘 Spill the beans. What's a new project you're doing this year?

Among us OC time loop fic from the perspective of a crewmate (leaning towards Bane because they're a paranoid little freak) who needs to solve the mystery of who the impostors are but over time realizes that it changes each round. It becomes about interrogating their own flaws and biases in the process and then when they finally figure it out early and win the loop resets and they're evil this time and overall. Self indulgent slop I'm gonna have so much fun with it.

+ more fleshing out of their characters in general!! I have so many thoughts about these little guys in my brain but I haven't actually written much for them. Look at them. You love them.

🦷 Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're dreading to write (but is necessary to your plot)? Share a snippet or tell us about it!

i hate hate hate hate something shaped like brotherhood (the UtH / Nightwing comics vaguely-compliant Dick & Jason bonding fic) I want to kill it so badly. Not in the giving up way just in the stabbing it until it suffers and bleeds and explodes kind of way. Every couple of weeks I try to actively write it and I hate it and I have so many pages upon pages of disconnected scraps that I am every day growing closer to printing out just so I can put them through a paper shredder and burn them in my backyard. I like the concept the execution is being fucking rude.

Here's a snippet that has a solid 100% chance of never seeing the light of day otherwise. (I reworked this scene in my head. I haven't actually written the change but shhh.)

The man scuffed a boot on the rooftop, then abruptly said, "It's probably a bad time for me to break into the GCPD's databases, huh?" Dick tensed again, despite himself. He kept his voice level as he said, "What for?" "Nothing serious. It's pretty stupid actually, there's someone whose name I've been trying to remember. I know he has a criminal record, so he'll be on their servers somewhere. It's a place to start." "Hacking the police database is a place to start?" The domino mask studied Dick blankly. "Well. He's dead. It's not like I have a lot of options or people I can just ask." "That's a lot of trouble for a dead guy." The man's laugh was harsh and sudden, but something about it makes Dick's brain itch. "Oh, 'Wing, you won't believe how much I'm willing to do for the sake of a dead kid." Dick frowned. The way the man was talking, that casual familiarity and the ease of his posture… "Do I know you?" "No." The answer came without hesitation. "But you know me," Dick hedged. That got him a head tilt and a considering hum. "No, I don't think I do."

[alwayscryingoverdannyb]

for the tea questions! 1, 4, 11, 15 and 21 - i'm nosy :)

1 How did you come to choose your current profession or lifestyle? profession was an accident. I was a receptionist, then I did backoffice and then I got offered a junior consultant position and seeing as I was overall pretty much fucked I didn't give a damn and said "why not." and then I had a good boss and it made it feel worthwhile to try to get better at it. somewhere along the way the job started to be fun and gave me sense of accomplishment and here I am, a senior consultant :)) as for lifestyle - bruh a ton of therapy. I stopped trying to "fix" things about me I didn't like and leaned into adjusting my life to suit who I actually am. (I'm a 20-80 sunshine-grump mix with extremely low social batteries and fierce need for personal space and time.)

4 Do you have any habits or quirks that others find unique or strange? I actually asked my best friend bc I needed someone else's perspective :D bc how would I know it's strange to other people when it's normal to me? And she said the following: - when I'm really happy about something, I do a small but whole-body wiggle of joy, apparently - I have very specific requirements for temperature regulation (I'm too hot quite often and feel warmer than everybody else 100% of the time. I also takes way longer to feel cold than most people) - I have thick, heavy hair and I put it up in a bun in a very specific way and apparently to other people it's so fast it looks like a ninja trick

11 Do you have any coping mechanisms for dealing with anxiety or fear? yes, I've developed some over the years. when I can't do anything about the situation, I try to distract myself and shift my focus to something else (book/podcast... ideally nothing to do with our reality), I also isolate myself (I rarely want consoling or a pep talk) and go to sleep. and then my brain resets overnight and it's always better in the morning. lots of it has to do simply with life experience - I often say to myself "shut up nerd you always think this and it's literally never that bad." so again. therapy helped.

15 What kind of music do you listen to, if any? there's a reasonably wide range of genres I listen to but I tend to hyper focus on a small selection of artists/songs for long periods of time. like, abt every 2-3 years I have an "eminem month" and then I don't listen to him for a couple years, you know what I mean? but if I go the other way around, I'd say I //don't// listen to anything harder than linkin park, no house, edm, dnb, ska.. and I don't really know the contemporary pop either - no ed sheeran, no taylor, no sabrina carpenter for me. no shade, it just doesn't speak to me. and yes, sometimes it makes me feel like I live under a rock. but that rock is called oasis and I like it.

21 Is there someone who has significantly influenced your life? I'm gonna leave my mom out of this bc that's an obvious answer (and would be like 15k words) but first people to come to mind are two of the bosses that I've had at this job. Possibly first positive/healthy male authority figures I've ever had - them showing trust in me and my professional competence has truly been life changing and confidence building. Also being told "I like you so much as a friend!" by someome who (in my dumb head) only tolerated me, has been a paradigm shift. I think about that moment every time my brain is telling me people must, obviously, hate me.

thank you for asking! I had a lot of fun thinking about these ^_^

[imperfectnothing]

is it ok if i can ask for a bit more info on how kay is personality wise ?

since im getting more of a grasp on imu ( i . basically flipped their name ) i do want to see if they’d maybe be close friends with kay ! ( and also im just like generally curious about him . i saw the blood and it made me anxious . . ) ok . i shall run back to my drafts to write more notes for them . love you rock and hope your having a good wednesday ! ( sprints away )

AH yes hello! I love you, too, Apri, and I hope *you* have a wonderful Wednesday! I'll start on Kay's personality but just one note, real quick- the picture with the blood (which i forgot to tag for whoops) is uh, well. That's Kay. As a child. That's his blood. So you don't need to worry about him being violent. He does malfunction occasionally but it rarely, if ever, causes him to be violent.

Kay is kind of goofy because he's a version of myself now combined with myself in middle school. He's far more socially inept than me (which is saying something because I don't think of myself as terribly socially savvy) and he is not as good with boundaries. He can be incredibly awkward and he's not good at approaching people, if someone wants or needs to talk to him, they are going to have to do the legwork on going up to him because he has been burned too many times before when it comes to putting himself out on a limb like that.

He's very similar to my younger self, when I was not as good at masking and not as aware of my "autistic" behaviors like infodumping and assuming people are being literal, more often than not. He's just as impulsive and crass as me but he tries really hard *not* to be, unwilling to accept that part of himself, which is another difference from me, because I've pretty much stopped caring about what people think of me . . . unless they're my friends, of course.

Sometimes, he'll also short-circuit and say something that doesn't make sense or is just incredibly out of pocket, but that's usually a system error causing his voice box to process the unwanted stimulus in a way that it can handle while it's resetting/fixing whatever problem is going on. He will also vocal stim but it's him using his database of different recorded sounds to make weird songs or playing one sound over and over because he really likes it.

I hpoe that this helps gives context and info, in way of Kay's personality!!

(note: his eyes, brain, trachea, and larynx are all artificial because they were irreparably damaged in the accident and had to be replaced. the rest of his body is organic though his heart/lungs are supplemented with technology, as well.)

(also fun fact! his talking voice claim is GlaDOS from Portal which only happened because @tsukacchako and @alien-til-i-stage were trying to convince me to do Siri or Auto from Wall-E as his voice but i caved because him having an obviously artifical voice is very funny to me . . . his singing voice claim is KafU tho)

[iam93percentstardust]

i hope you're doing well, sending hugs! <3

Thank you for the well wishes! They mean the world to me, and I love you to pieces! Don't read any further if you don't want the lengthy, depressing rant.

But honestly? I'm not alright. I'm really discouraged and rapidly coming to think that maybe the only way I'll be alright is if I stop writing for a while (okay, maybe not stop writing, but definitely stop posting) so I can reset my brain to think the way modern fandom seems to think these days.

The problem is that I've gotten to the point where I actively dread posting the last chapter of something because once upon a time (last year), posting the last chapter of something meant I'd get a whole influx of new readers to be excited about it on top of all the regular commenters who came with me from chapter 1. But now, I don't get either. A lot of people don't want to read wips, but they seem to not want to read long fics either. Posting the last chapter of a fic, for a while now, has increasingly come to mean getting 1 or 2 comments within the first 24 hours and a couple more trickling in over the next few days and that's it.

And I try really, really hard to be okay with that. I try not to be the entitled bitch I keep getting accused of being, but it's hard. Because I miss that thriving, active community of a couple years ago where, even if I didn't get comments on a thing, there were still people to talk to. I don't feel that way anymore. I feel like I have to actively fight to get any attention for a fic, and god forbid I hope that people will respond to it. As I said just a few days ago, I increasingly feel like I'm not just shouting into a void but that the void is ignoring me.

And I get that this is how fandom is now. I think my inbox and the notes on my last post about people being unwilling to read not just wips but also unwilling to read completed long fics too proves that--a whole lot of writers saying they miss when people would take a chance on wips, and a whole bunch of readers explaining why they, personally, should be excused from the people expected to support authors of wips. Which isn't to call anyone specifically out, but it felt like I was seeing the bystander effect in action: all these people seemed to have the impression that Someone Else would read the wips and support the authors, and it was depressing.

But like I said: this is how fandom is now. Short of a completely drastic restructuring of the internet and social media, I don't see fandom returning to a stage where the end of a fic is celebrated, where comments are abundant, and wips are seen as just as valid as completed fics. And I need to learn to be okay with that, but for all that I tell myself not to get hopeful when I post something new, that the odds are high I'll only get a couple comments at best... I still do. I still get disappointed on days like today when I post the last chapter of something and 9 hours later still don't have a single comment on the chapter. I still question whether my writing is any good or if I peaked three years ago.

And that's my own personal problem to deal with. I need to learn to be okay with this new fandom direction. I just worry that maybe I can't. Maybe the best thing for me is to accept that I don't fit in with this version of fandom and that maybe it's time for me to bow out.