#I need more practice! Rather I need practice on the committing part
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sysig · 2 years ago
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PinkBlueSpam anon I am still thinking of you *blows you a kiss 💕*
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luminiamore · 22 days ago
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soul
basketball player ony x spiritual reader headcanons
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୨୧ he absolutely has to keep one of the crystals you gave him with him. at all times. if he ever realizes he’s forgotten it—whether it’s on the way to practice or heading out for a big game—he’ll drop everything. no matter how tight the schedule is, he’ll make his entire team wait while he runs back to get it.
୨୧ he knows how sensitive and drained you get when you're surrounded by so many energies at once, and he could never put you in that position. so, even though he would love to have you at every game, he never allows you to come. instead, he’s making sure you're waiting for him in the locker room after.
୨୧ he takes the time to lock the door, ensuring that no one can hear anything, especially the sweetest cries you make when he's celebrating a big win. and when the rivalry match doesn't end in his favor-he's just as committed to making you feel his frustration. he’d end up carrying you to his car when he feels like he’s thoroughly dumped his anger past your warm sticky walls, your legs becoming jello.
୨୧ he was never the type to open up about his feelings, let alone imagine a future with anyone. seeing how dedicated you are to growing and evolving as a person, something shifted in him. he respected you deeply, more than he ever thought possible. for you, he started putting in the work—learning how to be more vulnerable, more present, and more open.
୨୧ you both became teachers to each other. he’d never admit it out loud, but you were slowly unraveling parts of him he didn’t even know were there. and just as much, he pushed you to continue evolving, helping you through your own challenges with the same dedication he put into his training.
୨୧ you two rarely argue. or ever really stay upset at each other. if he does something to make you upset you let him know rather than playing mind games, vice versa. ony would rather die than let you go to sleep upset at him. you will always talk it out. and get your pussy sucked clean after.
୨୧ he said “i love you” first, and while he tried to keep his cool and act like it was no big deal— on the inside, he was terrified. what if she don’t say it back? the simple thought almost made him second guess his decision. you did, of course.
୨୧ call him toxic, but unfortunately for you—breaking up is not an option. deep down, he knows you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him. he might make mistakes but he’s quick to learn from them, careful not to make them again. if you ever hinted at leaving, he’d beg on his knees, desperate to change your mind. his pride would be forgotten in a second.
୨୧ he’s the kind of man who starts taking care of himself because he knows that if he wants to be the best partner, he has to be the best version of himself too. he hits the gym regularly to clear his head, makes sure he’s eating right to stay energized, and starts working on his mental health—because you deserve someone who is just as mentally strong as you are.
୨୧ safe to say, you’re spoiled—but in the best way possible. he takes you to the crystal shop, and it’s like your personal shopping spree every time. he knows exactly what you need, picking out the most beautiful, rare crystals for your collection.
୨୧ he’s all in when it comes to your little quirks, even if it means spending hours at a thrift store. he’ll go with you, sifting through racks, helping you find those one-of-a-kind items you’re obsessed with. and when you find something perfect, he doesn’t hesitate. he’s dropping a bag, not because he has to, but because he wants you to feel special, like you deserve the best.
୨୧ all in all, he loves you. and it’s more than just the surface-level affection—it’s deep, real, and unwavering. he’s in love with you. every part of you. from the way you laugh to the way you challenge him to grow. you’re his lifeline, the one person who makes everything make sense.
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asocialangel · 2 months ago
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how MHA lovers like to kiss you
pt. 2 of how they like to kiss uuuu ( ˘ ³˘) 💕
2nd and last part of how i think the bnha lovers would kiss you~ gender neutral and fluffay
includes: monoma, shinsou, sero, denki, iida, hawks, dabi and toga.
monoma loves sending you air kisses. First of all because they are practical, he doesn't even need to move, he sees you across the room and gets to tell you he loves you. But also because they are so fun ! He loves to remind you he loves you in a light-hearted way. Usual gestures can quickly feel too formal, but air kisses keep it cheeky. Idk, to me, it’s just so fitting ! Obvi he will kiss you for real often tho. 
Sero: spider man kiss. Hello ? corny but accurate let's be real ! I feel like since he is a fan of spider man, he prolly knows about it already and really wanted to try it out. It was so fun ! So now you get to do it but only organically, if you happen to catch him in that position, after a joint rescue mission for exemple. It’s rather rare so it makes these kisses feel even more special. 
hawks go-to kisses are french kisses. Pretty committed isn't it ? He just can't get enough of you and of the sensation. He is a pretty good kisser you can admit, but you’ve put it together: if he kisses you so much, it means you are a great kisser too ! ha-ah ! Anyway, your boyfriend will always make the time to kiss you with tongue, no matter when or where, even if the cameras are watching. Most of the time you’re the one to let go too cause he could breathe you in all day, forgetting he has actual responsibilities ! 
iida kisses your whole body. If you put it metaphorically, it's to show you he loves you from a to z. He never thought about it that way though, his silly mind just loves to shower every inch of you with love. It’s kinda surprising and fun to guess where he will kiss you next. Your pinkie ? Your knee ? Your braided hair ?? It’s super cute and pure. 
Shinsou loves a chest kiss. He isn't big on PDA, but when he is physical with you behind closed doors, he's devoted to you. He loves to randomly kiss your chest at any given moment. Casual talk about what's for dinner ? He will lean in and kiss you through your hoodie and continue talking like nun happened. Cuddling together ? He will kiss you thousands of times on your chest, like a snuggling cat. Something about your chest feels warm and fuzzy. 
Denki loves classic lip kisses. Goodbye ? Steal a quick kiss from your soft lips. Good morning ? A long but superficial kiss of your warm lips. Something about it is almost innocent to him. Sometimes he'll put his tongue in, yes, he is a freak at heart after all, but for casual instances, he’d rather give you a teasy lip kiss while looking you in the eyes.
Dabi is an ear kisser. yes yes. He will nibble a bit sometimes, whisper to you something before or after kissing your ears, breath in and caress you with wind. He knows you are very sensitive there, and he loves feeling his cheek against yours. Also when he kisses you it’s cold, just wanted to add that >u<. 
Toga will almost exclusively hickey kiss you. She loooves the feeling of latching onto you, and leaving her mark. Kinda telling the whole word: yup, mine ! I did that ! don't get too close i'll be there ! Because her little fangs make her hickeys very recognisable too. She loves to leave her hickeys everywhere on you, but she has a preference for your neck. She can’t hold back that cuteness aggression when she sees your face !
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astrocafecoffee · 3 months ago
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Solar return obs. Part 2
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✨ For entertainment purposes only, enjoy my lovely peoples ✨
🍁 SOLAR RETURN INDICATORS
🍁 SOLAR RETURN OBS. PART 1
~~~~~~~~~~~~❤️❤️~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
❣️ sun sextile Venus in solar return chart - this year can be a good period for persuing artistic or aesthetic interests. In general, this year you will socialize more , will encounter romantic connections. But I know many of you will ask me "but my sun is in 8th house🙂, it's contrasting".. let me tell you, this means you will maintain a healthy balance between your private and social life. That's it. I mean socialising more won't burnt you out.
❣️ sun conjunct boda could mean meeting with your fs or a very serious romantic partner.
❣️ Mars opposite venus could mean that there will be a challenge in your relationships with others ( family members, friends, romantic partner ). There will be a push -pull dynamics in how you persue your goals or relationships. Try to solve conflicts with patience.
❣️ Groom / briede in 7th house or conjunct sun could mean meeting with your fs.
❣️ Groom/ Briede conjunct mercury - if you meet your fs this yr , then this could mean you will talk with them alot. Check the house/ signs to know more. For example if it's in 8th house/ in Scorpio/ in 8° you will talk about deeper meanings of our life. You could talk about spirituality, astrology too 😁.
❣️ ascendant at 4°/ 16°/ 28° - this year could be a year of strengthening family bonds and dealing with home related matters.This could mean shifting to a new home/ making changes to your living situation. And, also People seeing you as a comforting figure.
❣️ ascendant at 5°/ 17°/ 29° - you may find yourself spotlight more often. You might experience a boost of confidence. You will shine in your social settings. This year could encourage you to take on leadership roles. Moreover, you will be happy. And yeah romantic encounters can occur or in general people admiring you more.
❣️ ascendant at 8°/ 20° - this year might bring significant personal growth , as you confront and transform aspects of yourself and your life , that no longer serve you. You might prefer to keep certain aspects of your life private and more selective about what you reveal to others .
❣️ moon in Aries / at 1°, 13°, 25° in SRC can signify your emotional responses maybe immediate and intense. You might find yourself reacting quickly to any situations , with a tendency to act on your feelings rather than ponder them. This year you will learn how to manage your impulsive tendencies and how to communicate thoroughly.
❣️ moon in Virgo / at 6° , 18° could mean you will be more productive or improving your efficiency in your daily tasks. Also this could mean people asking for your help more than usual for certain activities or you offering practical help or contributing to the well being of those around you.
❣️ Sun opposite Jupiter could mean increased social activity or engagement with influential people . Networking or forming new connection might be prominent themes this year. Also there may be risk of overconfidence or taking on more than you can handle. You may need to be cautious about over extending yourself or making promises that are difficult to keep.
❣️ Venus trine / sextile Jupiter could mean you might find opportunities for making money through enjoyable activities or investments , I mean overall your financial situation may improve. Also you might find yourself indulging in pleasurable activities , enjoying good times with friends and family or engaging in pursuits that bring you happiness.
❣️ juno trine/ sextile groom - significant year of meeting your fs. If you are in a relationship , then this could be a time for deepening your connection and solidifying your commitment.
❣️ juno trine / sextile Saturn - can indicate meeting with your fs or deepening your connection with your fs. In general, you will approach relationships with greater maturity and responsibility. If you had any relationship issues then this year can provide an opportunity to address and resolve this issues.
❣️ Europa/Fama conjunct rising - you will gain some kind of popularity this year, like , people noticing your work and appreciating. It could be for your looks also.
❣️Chiron in 3rd house - you could often stop socialising this year or less communicating With your family and friends.
❣️ Juno Square sun - if you have this in your SRC, then this means this year you will find a clarity about your needs in Your relationships. What quality you actually want in your partner, how relationship actually works, and what to do to maintain a healthy relationship.
❣️ Sun conjunct mars could mean you will likely be more focused on your personal ambitions and goals. The sun is you here. You may find yourself more assertive and proactive , willing to take bold actions to achieve your objectives. But don't take impulsive actions or decisions. Be mindful of acting without fully considering the consequences.
❣️3rd house ruler in 12th house - this could mean you might be drawn to foreign travel , especially for spiritual or educational purposes. You might work in or be connected to institutions related to hospitals or charitable organisations , where your communication skills play a role. Also ,You will talk more with foreign peoples.
❣️1st house ruler in 10th house - this year may bring opportunities for career advancement or a new professional role that aligns closely with your personal goals and values. You may find yourself in situations where you need to assert your authority or guide others. You might also experience increased visibility or be in the public eye more than usual.
❣️1st ruler in 5th house - you may find yourself more engaged in artistic or creative projects. Your relationship with childrens could be prominent and new romantic connection can occur also. your individuality might be more visible through how you choose to spend your time and what you are passionate about.
❣️ 1st ruler in 11th house - engaging with like minded individuals or contributing to collective goals could be important to you this year. This could include joining clubs , associations or social groups where you can contribute and connect with others. This could also mean you focusing on your long term goals and aspirations.
❣️4th ruler in 8th house - issues related to property or your living situation might come up. You could be involved in managing, buying, selling or renovating property or managing family assets. This could also mean moving to a new home or you moving away from your family.
❣️4th ruler in 6th house- you could involve in helping your family members with their health or being more involved in service related activities. You may work from home . You may need to pay attention to how your work routine and daily life affect your well being.
❣️ Neptune at 3°,15° or 27° - you might feel drawn to explore new ideas , philosophies or spiritual practices. Also it's a good time to engage in creative projects or hobbies. But you need to balance idealism with practicality. Stay grounded.
❣️ 9th house ruler in 11th house - if your interests include travel , you might engage with social networks or groups related to your travel goals or experiences . This could involve connecting with people from different cultures or pursuing international collaborations.
❣️10th ruler in 11th house - this year being active in social or professional networks could lead to new opportunities or recognition/ working with others is significant. Also you could adopt new technologies or explore unconventional Career paths. Charitable work or activism is important too.
❣️ Chiron conjunct moon - this year you might find yourself revisiting past traumas or emotional wounds , particularly related to family, childhood, personal security. Journaling and meditation can help you gain insights and process your feelings. Prioritise self care.
❣️Venus conjunct Pluto could mean you might go through a period of self discovery where you redefine what you value and how you want to approach your financial and personal life.
❣️ mercury conjunct part of fortune - your problem solving abilities could be particularly strong. You may discover innovative solution to your challenges. Also focus on building and strengthening connections that can support your personal and professional goals.
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Thanks for reading ✨
- PIKO ❤️
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lovemomhatepolice · 8 months ago
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jude bellingham nswf alphabet (part 1) (minors DNI!)
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Oh, Jude is very adhesive after sex. He likes to cuddle with you until you both fall asleep. He places gentle kisses on your head, shoulders and arms, in fact wherever he can. He always talks to you for a long time, whether everything was okay, how you feel, if you need anything…. Well, Jude is a great guy
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Jude is well aware that he is damn handsome. And not since he started being famous, oh no, Jude was already aware of that before. However, what he likes most about himself is his face, I think. He really likes the fact that he is similar with his family, which is so important to him, and he likes his looks. He is very fond of his dark brown eyes and his lips, which, according to him, have the perfect shape (to kiss you!!). As far as you are concerned, I think Jude is definitely an ass man. Of course, he loves your breasts, but your ass is definitely something Jude always looks past when he sees you. He loves to squeeze it, kiss it, everything, really. He always has his hands on her when you're somewhere together, and he's not ashamed to show it. Unfortunately, on the contrary, sometimes you have to correct him so he doesn't get caught up. And besides, he loves your whole face. He thinks everything matches perfectly - your nose size, eye color and lip shape, ay, this boy is drowning.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) Jude Bellingham looks like a total creampie fan. I think he repeatedly stopped his seed at your entrance to watch it mix with your juices and slowly leave your body. But I also think he's too delicate to let his cum linger on your face, which is why he's not a fan of it. Even if you asked, there's no chance he'll let himself cum in your face
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) I think he likes it when you take the initiative. He often does a lot on his own, but the sight of you having fun with him in a way that no one else has ever done before, god. Jude is already on his knees and begging for more
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) Nah, Jude is not very experienced. Well, after all, he's only 21 years old and hasn't scored any major ones on his relationship record. Therefore, everything you experience together is quite new to him. It was with you that he lost his virginity and began to discover what he likes and what he doesn't quite like But nevertheless he is a fast learner, he has become so skilled that if you met him for the first time, you would not be able to say that he is a fresher in these matters
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Jude likes to have you on top. Really, that's why the cowgirl position is just right for him. He likes you to take the initiative, however, alone from below he can also do a lot, especially since compared to him, you are in his hands like a feather. Another option is standing up - as I mentioned before, Jude is a fan of sex in the shower, so the standing option had to be practiced to perfection to make both of you comfortable and perfect
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) It depends on the moment. Jude is hardly a person who is against any jokes in bed or giggles, on the contrary, it even happens to him often. However, when your sex is heavily geared towards romance and the heat rising around your bodies, he rather tries to be serious and committed to the situation
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) I think Jude is not completely shaved, but it is trimmed so that it is neat and not too much. He has dark curly hair, so I'm betting he has that all over his body too, so it might be hard to eliminate it. As for you, I think similarly. Either completely shaved or trimmed so that everything is neat and not too much.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Bellingham can be truly romantic. He may not look like it, but he loves to plan your entire evening. First take you out for an expensive dinner with wine, then prepare you a joint bath with petals of your favorite flowers, followed by the intense sex you've both been waiting for all day. And then long conversations in bed and gentle touches...
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) This often happens to him - mainly due to the fact that you often don't see each other through his constant trips to matches and life in other countries. He's not averse to pornographic movies, but since you've been together, he tends not to watch them. You prefer to connect together on the webcam and experience it from a distance, or he copes by simply thinking about the fact that you could be you next to him…
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Honestly, I can't find any sensible kink to match Jude. He does not seem to be a person who is drawn in any particular direction. Maybe a creampie? Hm, I think he could watch with fascination as your shared juices of fulfillment come out of you…. Oh, and combined it with breeding kink? Well, what? He's young, but he can definitely see you with a pregnant belly in your future home together in Madrid
L = Location (favorite places to do the do) Shower. Jude Bellingham shouts shower. Or possibly a bathtub, but definitely something on the toilet. I honestly don't know why, but it's what I associate with so damn much. Sex after the game? In the toilet. Sex with romantic candles and rose petals? In the bathtub. Sex without any occasion? In the shower. Well, don't say no. Jude definitely looks like a man who loves to take a bath together with you, and the opportunity to get close is even better
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) After the match. I don't know why. It's just that after a match, Jude is always, and I mean always, somehow more horny, and that's when you turn him on the most. Whether it's won or lost, Jude just needs to have his girlfriend in his arms after it Or the other option that turns him on is you in mini dresses. Well begging, the boy is already on his knees in front of you (or rather, behind you too)
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A/N: next part will be here soon! i will be very pleased if you leave something behind - orders are open!
please do not copy and translate my works! in case of any issues related to this - I invite you to discuss privately :)
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pastorpresent · 4 months ago
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insp by this right here, by @septicsoldier13. thank you for the prompt lovely! :))
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They were short on bills this month.
Logan's shitty job at some scummy bar didn't exactly leave him rolling in cash (not to mention the seventy dollars he was docked for drinking the supply), Wade hadn't made all that much in commission, and Al's disability cheque didn't stretch far.
Rent was covered, so was water and electric, but that left heat unpaid.
Logan figured it wouldn't be a big deal. It was July- and there was a pretty intense heatwave hitting the city currently. They likely wouldn't need the heat for the next month anyway.
The apartment was chilled, but it wasn't cold by any means, which was why he was confused when he got home one evening and Wade was walking around making dinner with a blanket draped over his shoulders, and what looked to be two sweaters on, alongside thick sweatpants.
Logan was sweating just looking at him.
"I know you're pissed I got docked the alcohol money, but aren't you overplaying it a little, bub?"
Wade jumped at his voice, clearly not hearing him enter. The blanket dropped to the kitchen floor, and the merc looked mildly embarrassed.
"I was... cold," he said quietly, and it was... odd. There was no jokes, none of the usual outrageous comebacks, and Wade was just staring at the blanket now crumpled on the floor, almost with a fucking longing expression, and Logan would admit that often the idiots jokes flew right over his head (he wasn't exactly caught up with the last fifty years of media), but he really didn't get this one.
"You were cold? It's not hot in here but it's not cold," Logan pointed out, pretty much over Wade's dramatics.
He'd had a long shift at work, split up about four fights, kicked three people out and chased two couples trying to fuck in the filthy bathroom all between making stupid drinks as his own fingers itched for alcohol.
All to say, he really didn't have the energy for whatever dumb joke this was a part of.
"You're gonna give yourself heatstroke, and you look fucking ridiculous," he deadpanned, and Wade shrugs, doesn't say anything, which makes something heavy settle in Logan's gut.
Whatever, not his problem, right?
He left to go shower.
//
Wade had stripped down into sweats and a single sweater by the time they retire to the couch.
Logan is in his vest and flannel pyjama pants, and he's warm, but he doesn't mention Wade's layers this time.
The TV is on, some shitty episode of some shitty reality show Wade insists he has to watch, and Logan's focusing on it, until he's not.
His attention wanders over to the merc sat on the other end of the couch. It's not uncommon, Logan tends to spend more time watching Wade react to whatever dumb shit is on rather than watch it himself, for reasons he doesn't have the energy to analyse.
Somethings wrong.
Because Wade isn't watching the TV either. His eyes are distant, staring at the floor, and he's shivering violently, teeth practically chattering as he curls in on himself, knees hugged to his chest, and it's like he's...
"You're cold," Logan concludes aloud, but this time the words hold no frustration, because he'd seen Wade be committed to jokes before - but never on this scale. It's not a joke, or some sort of prank at Logan's expense.
Wade nods, and Logan is up and crouching in front of him immediately, sticking a hand against his forehead. Wade practically leans into his body's warmth, shuddering, and jesus christ - the mercs skin is like ice.
"The hell? Are you sick? Can you even get sick?" Logan touched the exposed skin of Wade's wrist, and sure enough - it was freezing.
Wade laughed softly, "I'm always sick, it's just... another side effect," he explained, and it took Logan a minute to recall what the cause of Wade's scars was. The cancer.
"But... your mutation, that stupid programme, I thought it cured you," Logan frowned.
"Not... cured. Just sort of put it on the back burner. It can't kill me, because my body is constantly regenerating the cells it kills, but it's there, and sometimes the symptoms hit a bit harder than usual," Wade explained, looking self conscious, as if this was something Logan would mock him for.
"Why the fuck didn't you say something when we sacrificed the heating this month?"
"We needed it the least-"
"I would've found a fuckin' way if I knew you'd suffer! I'm going straight down there tomorrow, I'll use my tip money to pay it," Logan stated, and Wade's eyes widened.
"No, peanut, you're saving that up for your motorcycle-"
"Fuck that, I'm not having you be uncomfortable in your own home," Logan huffed, "now wait here," he tossed a blanket from the chair over to Wade, then headed to their bedroom.
He headed to Wade's set of drawers first, but pivoted to his own. His hoodies were bigger - more fabric, more warmth, right? Definitely. He didn't just want to see Wade wrapped up in his clothes. That would be fucking dumb, because he wasn't a thirteen year old girl with a school crush.
He grabbed the obnoxiously pink Hello Kitty blanket from their bed too, and then stuck into Al's drawers and grabbed the hot water bottle she used when her back was giving her a hard time. He grabbed one of her heating pads from the medication cupboard too, making a note to buy her some more the next time he did their grocery run.
A few minutes later, items in hand and hot water bottle sufficiently warmed, he reentered the living room.
Wade had the blanket over his lap, but Logan could still see the slight tremble of his shoulders, as much as he was now trying to hide it.
His stomach twisted with guilt for his earlier words.
Logan sat beside him, "lift you're shirt up, just for a minute," he ordered as he opened the heat pad.
"At least buy me dinner first, or I'll kiss and tell. Who am I kidding? If we kiss I'm definitely telling, I'll go on the local news-" Wade's usual tirade of rambling was somewhat comforting, not that Logan would ever tell him that, but even so it's usual flow was lost behind the chattering of teeth.
"Wade," Logan interrupted, trying for exasperated but knowing he probably fell a bit short, "Shirt up, bub," he repeated.
Wade still looked hesitant, staring at him like he'd lost his mind, and Logan sighed, grabbing the hem of the sweater and doing it himself, using his other hand to stick the heat pad on.
"What are you- oh," Wade shivered again, arching his back a little into the heat source.
It only took a second for Logan to reboot his brain, and he quickly dropped Wade's shirt.
"Here," he shoved the hoodie, blanket, and hot water bottle into his lap, and Wade stared at the collection, and the tiny tug of a smile made Logan's heart jump a little in his chest.
"Awh peanut, you're the sweetest," he gushed, and it was supposed to be a tease, he knew that, but there was also something genuine there.
"Just warm yourself up," Logan muttered in response, avoiding his gaze.
He returned back to his seat, occasionally glancing over to Wade. The merc settle back down, both blankets wrapped around him, drowning in Logan's hoodie, the hot water bottle hugged to his chest.
He looked... cute, his nose and eyes visible beneathe the layered cocoon.
Logan did go back to focusing on the show, but he didn't stop his sideways glances, and it didn't take long to notice Wade was still shivering a little.
"Are you still cold?"
"No-"
"Wade," Logan warned, practically growled in his direction, and the younger man sighed.
"It's not... I know I shouldn't be, it's just... weird. It's like it's embedded into my fucking bones, I can't..." Wade trailed off, and he sounded miserable.
"Just come here, you dumbass," Logan said, rushing the words out before he could change his mind.
And if Wade looked at him like he was crazy earlier, now he was regarding him as if he'd grown a second head.
"You've done more than enough, Lo. I just need to get my shit together-"
It wasn't up for debate, and Logan wasn't fucking debating it. He grabbed Wade and yanked him closer, earning a yelp of surprise.
He made quick work of pulling him in close, an arm wrapped around his shoulders and dragging him into his body heat.
"Logan, you really don't need to-"
"Shut up and watch the TV," Logan grumbled, staring pointedly at the screen as to not meet the eyes burning holes into him currently.
Wade did give in eventually. He snuggled down into Logans side, head resting on his shoulder and a sweater-pawed hand coming up to lay on his chest. Logan wrapped an arm around his waist in response, tugging him impossibly closer.
Wade did stop shivering, eventually, and there was a mumbled 'thank you' against his neck.
Logan just squeezed his waist in acknowledgement, and neither made a move to separate.
//
The next time, Logan didn't need Wade to say a damn thing.
It wasn't the bills going unpaid this time, either, because Logan prioritised heat as much as he did the base rent when working out their money these days, and had even spent some of his spare cash on an overly loud but functional portable heater as the weather grew colder.
(Of course Wade's favourite method of warming up remained... him, but Logan really had no qualms with that. He found himself almost a bit jealous when Wade opted for the heater before himself, usually when he was busy, and Logan found himself purposefully dropping whatever he was doing to sit on the couch and drag Wade up against him. He absolutely did not glare at a portable heater, because that would be insane.)
No, this time they'd been invited to a Christmas night out alongside the X-men.
Logan had been reluctant to go, still not all that comfortable seeing the team after previously seeing them all... but Wade had begged, and pleaded, because apparently this was a yearly thing and he'd never been invited before.
That alone had only served to piss Logan off more, but Wade had been so excited - and so he sacrificed their quiet night in for a pub crawl around the city.
He'd already caught Wade shivering a few times in the warmth of their apartment that day, but the merc was quick to deny it, likely thinking (and accurately so) that Logan wasn't going to let him go if he thought he was having a bad day in terms of maintaining his body heat.
He'd watched Wade dress with a frown, "at least stick a shirt on under your sweater. You not got any clean sweats you can wear? Those jeans are too thin," Logan had lectured, and Wade had pouted in that way that typically spelt trouble for the older mutant.
"I don't wanna look stupid! Have you seen what I'm working with here? The least I can do is dress nice," Wade gestured to his face, to his scars, and Logan had to bite his tongue to stop himself from immediately jumping on the defence, because he'd probably call Wade gorgeous or something equally as eyebrow raising in the process.
"Fine, but you bring a jacket," he said, and Wade rolled his eyes but agreed.
They'd been out for a couple of hours. The drinks were flowing (Logan had cut himself off at three beers, which was a personal best), and everything was going... oddly well. Logan felt more at ease around the team than he had since he arrived in this universe, and it was nice.
He was talking to Hank, when Scott came over and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Sorry to interrupt, but Wade's asking for you, Logan," Logan frowned.
Wade had dissapeared a little while ago in order to go dance with Storm, Morph and Jean.
"Where is he?" Logan asked, already on his feet.
"Bathroom. He doesn't look great, dunno if he's had too much to drink," Scott replies, and Logan nods, heavily doubting the explanation.
"Thanks, Scott," he says, before making his way through the crowd and into the bathrooms at the back of the club.
When he enters, Wade is perched against the sinks, shivering violently, his whole body trembling and teeth going so fast he could hear them clinking together. He had his arms wrapped tightly around himself.
"W-won't stop, m' cold," Wade whimpered, the embarrassed flush on his cheeks standing out harshly against his pale palour.
Logan's immediate reaction is one of frustration, "I told you that you needed more layers!"
The scolding only earned a small nod, and a sniffle as Wade looked away.
"I'm sorry, I know. I'm just... gonna go home," he said, pushing up from the sinks to leave, but even his legs were shaking, and when he tried to walk the violent trembles knocked him off balance.
Logan was quick to catch him, wrapping his arms around the merc. Wade leaned into his warmth almost instinctively.
"You're an idiot, you know that?" Logan said, but his voice held more concern than anger now, as he steadied Wade on his feet.
He didn't expect the mutant to burst into tears.
Logan didn't do great with tears, especially not when it was somebody he genuinely cared about. He very almost ran out of there, went to grab Jean or Storm or even Hank - anyone who was better at this shit than he was, but he had a feeling Wade wouldn't appreciate anyone seeing him in this state.
Shit, did he even want Logan here right now? He might have asked for him earlier, but he clearly wasn't being much help. He'd made him cry, for fucks sake.
"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, I know I should've listened I just- I wanted to just feel slightly normal for once," Wade cried harder, and Logan found himself pulling the shaking merc into his arms again, tucking him against his chest.
"I'm not mad, bub. I get it, I do. I'm just worried about you," Logan sighed, and God, Wade really was like a block of ice on his hold.
"'M sorry," Wade hiccuped, and Logan shushed him softly.
"It's fine, honest. Let's get you home and warmed up, hm?" Logan suggested, running his hands over Wade's arms in an effort to ease the chill.
"Yeah," Wade agreed tiredly, and Logan guided him out the bar, giving Jean an excuse of Wade not handling his alcohol too great (which was at least somewhat true, because the merc was definitely teetering into the emotional drunk category if his display in the bathroom was anything to go off) and hailed them a cab home.
He helped Wade to the couch, burying him in blankets and setting up the heater directly in front of him. When he turned to leave, a hand escaped from the mountain of fleece to curl around his wrist.
"Cuddles? Please?"
Logan was surprised he didn't turn into a puddle on the spot. It was fucking ridiculous. If anyone else dared to grab him like that, make such a request with big devastated puppy dog eyes, he would've sliced them into three even pieces.
Wade was making him soft. He didn't feel as repulsed by that thought as he probably should've.
"In a minute, bub. Let me go get you some stuff first, alright?"
Wade nodded, letting go reluctantly.
Logan made quick work of gathering the usual. It had become almost a routine at this point.
He made Wade a hot chocolate too, knowing how much the merc adored the sugary drink. He was only making it to warm him up though, obviously.
When he returned, Wade had burrowed completely beneath the blanket pile, and Logan had to immediately shut down the adorable that his unhelpful, traitorous brain supplied.
He put the hot chocolate on the table, and the smell had Wade popping his head out, staring at the drink.
"You made me hot chocolate?"
"Don't get used to it," Logan replied, and shoved a pair of his own sweatpants and his own hoodie against Wade's chest.
"Get these on."
"These are yours y'know," Wade said, running a hand over the sweatpants.
"Yours are dirty," Logan shrugged.
They were. Apart from a black pair at the bottom of his closet, but Logan was prepared to swear under oath that he'd never seen them before in his life.
Wade made quick work of getting changed. Logan turned to face the wall, and while Wade didn't say anything, Logan could feel the assholes smirk.
Once he was done, Logan joined him on the couch, climbing beneathe the layers of blankets despite the fact that he tended to run pretty hot. He could get closer to Wade this way.
He stuck the heat pad on his neck, the hot water bottle against his stomach (Wade's very own one now, with hello kitty sewn onto the cover - early Christmas gift from Logan) and wrapped him up in his arms, until Wade's entire body weight was resting against him, sprawled against his chest.
"Logan?" Wade asked after a while of silence, the only sound being the TV and humming of the heater.
"Hm?"
"You're the best wolverine," Wade said softly, and Logan glanced down at the merc, snuggled against his chest, eyes half lidded. He'd stopped shivering.
"Only for you, bub," he hummed in response, very almost kissing the top of his head, but settling on running a hand through it instead.
Wade made a happy sound, and Logan was just glad no one was around to see the stupid smile it put on his face.
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aro-culture-is · 18 days ago
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Question. Is it allophobic if my sister finds a boy friend and I get pissed because all of a sudden it's about the dude? The dude above us all, choosing the dude above everyone else. Like why is this normal and why am I considered deranged for questioning this weird illogical hierarchy. People say I'm bitter because I can't find a one true significant other, not knowing that I'm not even interested in the slightest.
which is why I ask is it a little too far to be pissed when a family/friend kind of person to you chooses their significant other all the time?
Allophobia does not exist on a cultural level. I am not humoring this term that I've only seen used in bad faith; I will instead address the response to a person you care for suddenly spending more time with others because they entered a new romantic relationship.
To begin with, it is okay to feel how you feel, even if you would rather not feel it for some reason or another. You are allowed to feel angry, upset, betrayed, and all sorts of things for any reason. But you must own this emotion; it is how you feel, and you cannot use this to determine intent or blame.
When you feel upset, it's important to practice letting yourself name your emotion. Look up a feelings wheel if you need some ideas. Acknowledge that yes, you are feeling this way. Then, locate how it feels in your body. Consider areas of tension, temperature, movement or stillness. Just acknowledge it. You don't have to do anything about that if you don't want to. Just think about it.
Then comes the hardest part, personally.
Is that emotion telling you something? Does it tell you that you'd like a more robust social circle to lean on when someone has another part of their life they are focusing their energy on? Could you redirect your energy into something? Is this emotion about that specific situation, or a broader theme in your life? Whatever it is, try to address that, thank your body for telling you this, and let the emotion go. This is a practice; you need to let yourself feel, learn to trust that you will address the root cause, and that you can let it go.
It can be really helpful to contextualize this from the perspective of the other individual. With new romantic partners, the polyamorous community has a term called New Relationship Energy (NRE) and talks about how hard it can be to navigate within a polyam relationship, when their partners gain new partners. People get excited to dive into their new relationship. If you've ever gotten into a new media and absolutely immersed yourself, or a new craft, or anything, it's very similar. New things can be exciting!
I'm very certain that your sister, and the vast majority of people getting into a new relationship and suddenly paying less attention to their loved ones, do not mean to harm you. They may or may not be applying an hierarchy. They're often excited and enjoying the new experiences. You can still feel hurt, and you can talk with them openly about this without blaming them. "I feel upset because we haven't played Animal Crossing together in a month. Could we please commit to a night together? I miss you."
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scarfacemarston · 2 months ago
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Natasha Romanoff A-Z Fluff Alphabet
As requested! Please think about "liking" and reblogging! These posts take time. Feel free to request anything else.
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A - Affection (how do they show affection to their s/o)
Natasha is more subtle in her affection - but not always! She tends to be more jovial and more likely to grin, one that reaches her eyes, when she's with you. She might playfully punch you on the shoulder, lean on you, or pull on your wrist. Sometimes, it's whispering sweet things in your ear, showing up with your favorite takeout after a long day, or a snuggle session, but in general, she gives love through acts of service for you.
B - Best Friend (what are they like as a best friend?)
She doesn't have many friends, which is by choice. However, she doesn't expect people to give her a chance to be a friend. It's why she's so touched that Steve reveals he trusts her in Winter Soldier. She has proven to be ride or die. Even when she disagrees, she would rather value the person and their relationship over being right, as seen with Clint in Civil War. She's the type that you can vent to at any hour of the day, or if you're hurt, she'll ask who she has to kill. She has contingency plans upon contingency plans, so if you need help with an issue, she is almost guaranteed to have a solution.
C - Cuddling (do they like to cuddle? And how would they do it?)
Cuddling is unusual for her because it rarely happened to her growing up, but also, as an adult, she was always "taught" that cuddling could lead to sex with a target. Cuddling for the sake of intimacy and comfort wasn't on her radar. She's not exactly touch-starved, but she does enjoy cuddling once she gets used to it. She loves to spoon, with her being the big spoon, regardless of your height.
D - Domestic (do they want to settle down? How good are they at cooking and cleaning)
I will go into this in more detail later, but commitment is new to her. The idea of someone wanting her for HER despite everything she has done is new to her, but she does find herself craving stability and domesticity. Her time in Ohio was the best time of her life, and she'd love to have that again. Nat can do the "stereotypical" cleaning and cooking. She was taught it in the Red Room as it was part of the perfect housewife image. However, she does not like that this role is always assigned to her. She thinks it's entirely sexist for people to assume she's going to do all the domestic tasks because she's a woman. In a relationship, this is very much so different. She doesn't make special meals on her own unless it's her choice to share with the Avengers. For her, it's usually something quick and easy. She doesn't care other than that, but she does try with you. She is also very tidy; again, things are utilitarian in her apartment, but she appreciates that you are livening up the place. 
E - Ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
This….is not Natasha's best moment; honestly, it would likely hurt quite a bit.
She is the most likely to be very businesslike and more like speaking to a co-worker than a former lover. However, it is also possible that she simply disappears or leaves a note. It is not a happy headcanon but a possible and realistic one. Now, if you were dating her later in her life, like around the time of Infinity War, she is far less likely to do this.
F - Fiancé (how do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
Natasha is very much a novice to love. She knows how it works and how to get people to fall in love with her, and she believes she's been in love before. However, putting this all into practice in a "normal" relationship is difficult for her, but once you've earned her trust, she is a very committed partner, and she would put her entire heart into it. She doesn't think she'll ever be married, even if she dreams of it. She thinks it's a pipe dream, but the more you talk about it with her, the more likely she is to hope.
G - Gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
Natasha is capable of great gentleness, but the problem is feeling secure enough to show this as she tends to spook. She struggles greatly with emotional availability. Her gentleness is very subtle and more likely reserved for privacy with you. This is for both emotional and physical gentleness. 
H: Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) 
She's not really a hugger, no. Physical affection was deeply discouraged for her growing up, and even being undercover in Ohio, she struggled with hugs and "normal" affection. (Of course, that never stopped Yelena from giving her tackle hugs.) She is the type to give a hug when she believes it's truly needed and will be useful. It is a very thoughtful and deliberate gesture from her. Ex: Hugging Steve after Peggy's funeral or hugging Clint in I.W. With a romantic partner, her first inclination is not to give a hug, but she would try to anticipate your needs and affection style. She's likely to hold you from behind or something similar rather than give you a hug.  Her hugs are very tender and gentle but almost protective.
I: I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
It would take months, but more likely a year or more before she says it. She will show it in other ways, but to say it would take a long time. She's had very few actual relationships, so she is admittedly new to love. 
J: Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?)
Natasha would appear completely neutral. You wouldn't be able to tell unless you really were looking for a sign, and even then? Good luck with that. However, she may make a teasing comment or two, but she's not the type to actually entertain jealousy. She's very secure that way because she knows what she's worth and the work the two of you put into your relationship. However, she might still sneak an arm around the waist or give a "reminder" kiss. 
K: Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you?)
Kissing the Black Widow is as magical and enigmatic as you can imagine. She knows what she's doing, but the difference is she cares whereas before, they were all marks. The cheek and lips are her main targets, but she knows about all your secret sensitive areas and is not afraid to use those against you in public. 
L: Little Ones (How are they with kids?)
Natasha loves children and is lovely with them, as seen with the Bartons, but she still feels as though she's too cold and too robotic. She would love to have a family of her own to give them the life she never experienced. She's happy to be an aunt, but having her own children would be extremely meaningful.
M: Mornings (How are mornings spent with them?)
Natasha is up early as hell. She has always been this way, thanks to the Red Room. She gets up early, grabs a coffee, trains, and reads reports for the day. She's usually up at 6:00 am. However, she will often make you breakfast and place leftovers in the fridge for you to enjoy later. Occasionally, she'll pack a snack to help you through your day. Expect a sticky note with a good morning message if you aren't awake for her to give you a proper goodbye.  When dating you, she doesn't exactly sleep in more, but she will stay in bed to cuddle a bit later while working on her phone. 
N: Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Nat tends to struggle with insomnia, most of it stems from an overactive mind. It's not anxiety, per se, but her mind is always in overdrive, thinking of contingency plans, other Avengers business, her 'real family,' or her life with you. She will usually settle down with tea and a book before sleeping. Sometimes, you have to take the book from her and turn off the lights for her to get the hint. She swings between preferring her space to sleep or cuddling. It depends on her mood. 
O: Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
This is Natasha Romanoff we're talking about. She is incredibly slow to reveal anything about herself. She doesn't lie about her past, per se, but she gives half-truths or very vague answers before eventually letting you in to reveal more about her life. She will never tell you everything; you must be okay with that. That's simply part of her rules. To pry would be disrespectful and would be a turn-off for her. She can be encouraged to share things but not be pried.
P: Patience (How easily angered are they?)
Nat has the patience of a saint in most areas. Yes, she has things she won't tolerate, but for someone to actually anger her would be quite difficult. Someone would have to be blatantly cruel or foolish for her to get angry, and even then, her anger is biting and cold, not raging. This woman handled the downfall of SHIELD, the Accords, and Thanos' snap fall out and held herself together quite well for all of it, even when there were times she would be in the right to be beyond angry. 
Q: Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every detail in passing, or do they kind of forget? )
Natasha was trained to remember things. Her memory might as well be photographic. It doesn't matter if it's a band you mentioned liking once or off-handedly mentioned disliking cilantro in passing; she will remember. That can be a negative, though, if there is an argument because she will remember exactly what you said. HOWEVER, she hates to fight, so she will put conflict resolution above all else.
R: Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
When you accepted Natasha for who she was after telling you some of her darkest stories one night after suffering nightmares. She had told you about Budapest and some of the early missions she completed for Russia - memories that still haunted her with events that she wasn't proud of. Instead of spurning her, you had soothed her instead. You didn't pity her or try to say that "everything was going to be fine." You acknowledged her and told her she was worthy anyhow. That meant everything to her, as she had expected the worst. 
S: Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) 
Nat's protectiveness can be almost startling. She is practically paranoid about your safety. In fact, you might have to talk to her about toning it down if you can ever find out the extent of her protection, which is unlikely. She is more likely to be overprotective when she's out of town. 
Natasha doesn't need protection, and she would prefer that you don't think that way toward her, either. However, she does appreciate that you look out for her by reminding her to eat, get enough sleep, slow down on work, etc. 
T: Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, and gifts?)
Natsha's thoughtfulness is off the charts. It's one thing that makes her such a good friend and partner. She will spend weeks planning something for you, whether it's getting the highest-quality ingredients to cook you something or finding the best way to whisk you away to a nice weekend away somewhere. If you collect something, you know she's been on eBay or using other channels to get you something nice to add to the collection.
U: Ugly (What would be a bad habit of theirs?)
Nat sits or lays down in horrible positions, which causes her bone and joint pain later on in the evening. Her flexibility is her friend and foe. 
V: Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Natasha is well aware that she's stunning. She knows she doesn't have to do anything to have people admire her or envy her. However, on average, she spends far less on her looks than Yelena. She knows what she likes to wear, and that is usually a mix of sleek and utilitarian. She doesn't spend a lot of time on fashion, but she understands trends. She tends to wear what she wants and applies light makeup, but this is not a priority for her.
W: Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
Yes, but she would acknowledge that something would be missing without your presence. However, she's been alone for longer.She is used to being alone or playing second fiddle to someone else. That doesn't mean she enjoys it, but she is used to it.
X: Xtra (A random headcanon for them)
Nat is a secret, cozy game fanatic. She loves Animal Crossing the most and will play it with Yelena and a few of the other Avengers who have it. (Steve, Bucky, and the Bartons, mainly.) Scott Lang tried to friend her, and she left him on read.
She's not as interested in the farming games, but she'll play them. She likes the ones with a unique premise. 
Z: Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)
She tends to wear a T-shirt or tank top and shorts to bed, but she does have the occasional weakness for silk pajamas.
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johnbrand · 3 months ago
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Loyal
With @mrrharper
I can not recall what started it really, there was just something off. Almost like a persistent tick within the back of my head, a missed alarm that somebody had forgotten to address from far away, and yet was still just barely registerable on my radar. It was like I was the only one that heard it, felt it, knew this tiny thing even existed. I was all alone.
When I had first come to college, I had no idea what to expect. The whole atmosphere had changed since the pandemic; competition was everywhere. I was no longer “smart enough” for the STEM kids, and yet I was not “passionate enough” to join any special interest groups. Everything had suddenly become a challenge to be the best, the greatest, but my background was not built for that type of drive. I began to assume college was only for my peers ready to commit everything to reaching the practically unattainable.
But Coach saw something different in me, he saw potential. He was the one who got me to stay. He was the only one who not only saw my tick when no one else had been able to, but explained it to me. He believed that the culture around education had become too individualistic, too single-minded. It was appropriate that I had suddenly felt inferior, unnoticed and left behind in the slaughter others had created. I needed to be a part of something greater, a team. His team.
At first, I had found Coach’s opinions beyond ludacris. Me? In sports? My body practically lacked everything necessary for a college athlete, unless it was in e-sports. I maintained my health fairly well, but I was toned and skinny, and practically too short for any serious competition. The only sport I could have seriously considered was swimming junior varsity–at a high school level. But soon I learned that Coach's opinion was law in his territory, from the locker room to the field.
Coach decided to tackle the standard issues right away, knowing that at the base of every great player is dedication. His questions opened up my formerly firm mindset and ideals, offering up new possibilities.
“Is it truly impossible for you to believe that I, an experienced professional, would not be able to help you discover a greater purpose as one of my players?”
“Wouldn’t you rather be a part of a team, a successful unit, rather than having to navigate the world on your own?”
“Do you really need to focus on other things outside of our work together? Are classes, friends, and family truly improving you like our time in the gym and on the field are?”
I did not realize it, but the more Coach questioned my morals, the more my mind began internalizing his. Coach believed that his players were all like the states in the mighty “US of A,” the greatest place on Earth. Separate, we had some power and identity, but nothing of significance. But together, as a part of a greater cause, we could become something much more impactful, more important, than our individual selves.
“If you become a part of my team, then wouldn’t it be more meaningful to be a player both in mind and body?”
“Perhaps your feelings of inadequacy aren’t stemmed from your lack of participation in college, but in general. Wouldn’t you feel more fulfilled if you followed a greater cause, like the traditional role of men in society?”
“Don’t you think what you are searching for is something to uphold? Maybe at large it is masculinity, but at a personal level supporting your teammates and likewise supporting me?”
Thanks to Coach’s help, I began to reprioritize my schedule, in turn reorganizing my life. With his approval, I was able to weed out some of the classes that were hindering my performance to become a better player, before I eventually stopped attending lectures all together. It was much easier to listen to Coach anyway, and he promised he would provide me with all the materials necessary in order to graduate. 
With my time freed up, I was better able to absorb Coach’s teachings at a rapid rate. My body quickly started to expand, packing on muscle in the weeks following faster than I thought was possible. It was as if every week I had to purchase new clothes, before eventually Coach began supplying me with past players’ hand-me-downs. My biceps and triceps became too large for any sleeve, my thighs would practically rip through every pants seam. It was not long before I was practically forced to endless sleeveless tanks and tight shorts. I even managed to gain height although I was past the prime of puberty, reaching an appropriate 6’3 for any linebacker.
That was what Coach said I was to become. Not any linebacker, his linebacker. When he first told me his plans, I had been shocked, but soon I began to instinctually follow his orders. Eventually, he stopped calling me by my name altogether; I had been reduced to “Linebacker #1!” in all his references.
Strangely enough, it was like my body responded to this new name accordingly. My boyish features almost vanished over the course of a day, leaving behind a wide jawline to support a much broader skull. My general hygiene fell backwards in priority, allowing for hair to cover my beefier frame and a manly mustache to crawl out onto my upper lip.
I had even begun to emit a sweat-induced, locker room musk wherever I went, although after a while I lost any embarrassment in it. In fact, I took some pride in my larger figure. I soon weighed over 230 pounds of pure girth, muscle, and mass that helped me pummel my opponents on the field. There was something so invigorating about being large and in charge…while still being under Coach’s orders.
“What if your purpose all along was to play football for glory and to preserve tradition? And was I not the one who helped you discover that purpose?”
“Why would you possibly want or need anything else from outside of the field? Aren’t you at your best when you are a part of my team, a piece of a larger puzzle?”
“Wasn’t the only thing you ever wanted all along was to be Coach's loyal football jock? A place where you can be your biggest, most masculine, most aggressive self without ever having to worry about anything else?”
By the time preparations for the next season began to roll around, I had stopped questioning Coach. I had realized that he was right, that he had been right all along and would remain as such. I was no longer considering his viewpoints, now merely just thanking him for them. I had begun coming to Coach for advice on any topic. Should I be worried about my dropping grades? Is it ok to get physical with nerds who insisted that the team was “a bunch of stupid pawns”? How could I be a better player for the team, his team?
And now, I was strutting around the conference room filled with reporters and many other beefy, aggressive jocks just like myself. I was feeling proud, cocky, arrogant even. Since joining his team, I had gained strength, girth, and attitude, all of which had earned me the title as the up-and-coming star collegiate linebacker. I did not need anything besides my masculinity, I did not need an identity outside of Coach’s team. I was simply his loyal football jock, and when I heard him call out for “Linebacker #1!” I immediately turned around. That was my name after all; whatever I was called had been long forgotten.
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ixiot-ghostrebel · 1 year ago
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Sagau another episode of reader getting pissed of for someone insulting some of thier favourites while begin bored when someone insults the reader to the point of counting how many times someone used some type of insult
Lyney and lynette begin bad mouthed becose they are form house of hearts reader will just launch a lawsuit for badmouthing thier favorites
Furina begin insulted by some pepole whonate not form Fontaine well the reader will want to throw them and drown under water thoses pepoles
That random who interrupts childe when he was talking to traveler and reader in fontain.....well begin punching bag for fatui harnbringer is now a mercy compared to how much the reader who......PURCHESE THE STEAM ROLLER AND DRIVES OVER ON THIS MO-* sorry for tehicaly dificulty*
PART 3 IT IS BABY LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO
Thank you so much for requesting, @zardas75 ! I would've been more dead otherwise lol :')
Click Me For Part 1! Click Me For Part 2!
When Someone Insults Lyney, Lynette, Furina, and Childe! (No Vice Versa Today, Sorry!)
(Warning: Slight Spoilers to 4.0 Archon Quest & Might be OOC!)
Lyney
He was utterly flabbergasted that you would go out of your way for Lynette and he. I mean sure—he felt absolutely blessed and grateful that you would personally be his attorney (along with the Traveler & Paimon), but he did not expect you to jump on people that were insulting him because...of where his origin lies with.
It wasn't surprising that the entirety of Fontaine came to hear about the court case that held trial to press charges for a murder he didn't commit. so Lyney can't say he wasn't expecting the rumors, but you? Yeah, you were an entirely different wildcard than to those he's usually familiar with.
Lemme tell you, he was not prepared for you to be all up in the harasser's merchandise. If this was a trial duel to defend one's honor—you were not the champion duelist that made the opponent surrender. You were the opponent about to end the champion duelist's entire career.
This harasser was good at trash talking and gossiping—they were quite a hard opponent to overcome and beat, and here's you running your mouth about them and quite literally ending their career in a matter of minutes.
As much as Lyney would find this amusing after 5 minutes of overcoming the shock, some of the things you were saying were....a little too horrifying he'll be honest. So, rather to save himself than the insulter, he smoothly interrupts your "conversation."
"Ah, Your Grace! Welcome Back to Fontaine! May I Have the Pleasure to show you our latest magic tricks? Lynette and I have been practicing for our upcoming show!"
With your *cough* favoritism *cough* good mood shining through the previous rage that befelled your face, you of course accept to see more magic tricks appear out of the Great Magician twins!
And that was how Lyney hopes to never get you in a bad mood ever in your stay in Fontaine. He doesn't want to see you smiting anyone for anyone.
Lynette
She's like Lyney, but more muted. She's honored that you would protect she and Lyney from this insulter, but if she was to give her opinion, it wasn't anything she couldn't handle. After all, with being well-known, there was bound to be both ups and downs eventually.
She'll admit, she was...pretty afraid after hearing many of the things you were spitting at the rapidly paling face of the insulter in front of you. After all, smiting people with the wrath of the power beyond all the gods was...terrifying and a true force to be reckoned with.
She's immediately helping Lyney to distract you from the situation while also giving well-hidden death glares at the insulter for making you mad. The last thing they needed was for you to deem Fontaine not a good nation.
"Tada~ I hope you liked that magic trick, Your Grace...If you would like, I can reserve a ticket for the best seat at our upcoming magic show for you to watch."
Lynette is both afraid and awe-struck of your abilities as the Creator. That doesn't mean she'll show it, of course.
Furina
In my personal opinion, I think Furina is both loved and hated by the people of Teyvat. While she is mostly loved by her nation, others (like Neuvillette) can't stand her or her enigmaticness.
You, as the Creator, understand both love and hate, but of course choose to love Furina regardless of her...dramatic and soap opera-levelled ideas. While you can respect other people's opinions...cursing and badly insulting them was just crossing the line for you. And you were not going to let it pass without planting your foot down first.
And, of course, Furina soaks up everything you said like a sponge to water. You, the Creator, beyond Celestia itself, were willing to defend her? If this were a live soap opera in the Opera Epiclese, Furina would say she was a 100% fan of you!
Alas, as much as she loves for you to go on, she is an idol within Fontaine. The last thing she needs is for her own people to think Fontaine might get smitten because of one insulter. After all, gossip changes the raw truth to make itself more interesting.
"Ah, Your Grace! I just so happens to realize that there will be a trial held in the Opera Epiclese. For, if you have the time to spare, wish to find new inspiration for your next creations, please—allow I, Lady Furina, to escort you there! Hehe, I can certainly garuantee that you will get the V.I.P. view up there with me!~"
And, since you have a soft spot for Furina, you happily accept. After all, you can get to know the Hydro Archon better than before, even if you don't like court sessions! It's a win-win for you. And at least that insulter will now think before striking again.
Next thing you know, gossip around Fontaine says that those who are granted visions are personally favored forevermore by the Creator, and that you should never cross with one else you face the wrath above the gods.
Childe
Boy oh boy...If you are an old Tartaglia/Childe Fan, this is for you. You were absolutely ecstatic that Childe was in Fontaine! I mean—he even came in the game's archon quest in a badass-ish way!
And OF COURSE you had to teach the guy annoying your boy a lesson. Like, hello??? You blind??? This is your boy here! What is this old man thinking?
So of course, you did. And you gave that man quite the scare. The Traveler and Paimon look at you taking this situation as both a physical and verbal showdown very calmly, since this wasn't exactly the first time you blew up at people.
Childe, however? Boy, he's taking notes. Your threats and insults were very interesting and unique—as expected of the Creator. And the fact you just summon a bamboo stick outta thin air and proceeded to give the man some back problems? The harbinger's wondering if he can borrow that idea as inspiration...
Nevertheless, he doesn't want to deal with court just yet, so he'll (unfortunately) step in and save this person's backside. Besides, he still owes mora to Northland Bank.
"Ahaha, Your Grace! Your prowress seems to only become stronger and even more gracious since we last met—as expected!" He grins at you. "How 'bout you leave him to me, though? He still owes the bank some mora."
And so you watched Childe beat up the man and yk the rest is history. Safe to say you were somewhat satisfied. One thing's for sure though—Childe 100% dedicated this battle to you. You did give him some inspiration to fight, after all!
AND WE ARE DONE! I hope you all enjoyed it :)
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Ghost Rebel Side Notes: Gosh, this took longer than i expected...I'm sorry everybody! IRL stuff has been hitting me like Truck-kun and there wasn't that much of a good time to properly sit down and write. I swear I'm not dying just yet!
Also, to whoever who shall be merciful to my very ghostful soul—please send in some Freminet requests—I must write for my boy. 🐧
✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦
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ldrfanatic · 7 months ago
Note
hi!!! could i please request prompts l17 & r20 for theo nott? 🤭
good ones never wait
theo nott x fem!hufflepuff!reader
yesss!!
L17 - His hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it's mine
R20 - Only bought this dress so you could take it off
05.30.2024
T Swift Lyrics Prompts
suggestive at the end but no smut!
theodore aurelius nott the man that you are 😌
works slytherin boys masterlist
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your heart was pounding in your chest as you watched the scene unfold in front of you. theodore nott, your best friend, and also the man you were irreversibly in love with, had just finished the first quidditch practice of the season. despite his teammates insistence that you were only there to spy for your house team, theo had invited you to watch for some reason you had yet to figure out.
still, watching him wipe sweat, dirt, and god knows whatever else from his perfect face while he grinned with his mates did something to your insides. couldn’t your heart just be still for once?
after being friends with theo for nearly five years, you’d learned to tune out the butterflies for the most part. but crushing on theodore nott isn’t something that one just gets over. he’s the kind of guy that you’d spend your whole life helplessly in love with.
“sweet little puff. if you’re so infatuated, ask nott out.”
the voice of pansy parkinson in your ear made you jump.
after gathering yourself once more, you shrugged thoughtlessly at the idea. of course you’d like to think he’d say yes. but with theo there was no telling. he’d never had a girlfriend his entire time at hogwarts. in fact, now that you really thought about it, you couldn’t remember him ever even giving any of the numerous girls that asked him out a chance.
he was so well known for instant rejections that eventually even his most committed fan girls had simply given up.
“pfh.”
you made a noise of disbelief in pansy’s direction.
“sure, and ruin a five year friendship with my best friend. no thanks.”
“no, you’d much rather wallow in your feelings and never say a word about it to anyone except me apparently.”
she stood up from next to you and held out a hand. a silent invitation.
“the worst he could say is no, y/n. and at least if he does, you can start moving on.”
you grasped her hand and allowed her to pull you up, but inside you knew that there was no moving on from theodore nott. he would always have a place in your heart. you’d resigned yourself to that a long time ago.
it was a stiff silence as the pair of you made your way to where the boys were all shoving each other and rolling around in the quidditch pitch. you watched with amusement as theo shoved mattheo’s face into the grass with a playful grip on his dark curls.
as he noticed your approach, he looked up from his entanglement with a broad smile. “y/n!”
his temporary distraction gave mattheo the few vital seconds he needed, and a few moments later, he’d wrapped his arms around the taller boy’s waist and maneuvered himself to pin him.
“too slow, aurelius. distracted by your little girlfriend like usual.”
whatever theo said next was drowned out by mattheo’s rather unmanly shriek as enzo wriggled free of blaise’s grasp and flung himself at mattheo’s head.
pansy leaned over to you.
“at least come to our little gathering tonight. nothing big, just slytherin house. and of course, our little badger.”
“where theo is, i am.”
there was a part of you that wished that statement could be untrue for at least once in your life. you weren’t typically much of a party person, but since you were nearly joined at the hip with the nott boy, where theo went, you followed. and vice versa.
after forcing him into countless bookstores with you, it was really only fair that you join him for the occasional night of uninterrupted revelry.
especially since so many bodies in one room meant that theo would be practically on top of you the entire time.
you tugged at the green sundress in hopes that it was straight. you’d only bought it because theo said it would look good on you when you’d gone shopping together this past summer. but you hadn’t had an occasion to wear it yet and figured tonight was as good a night as any. softly clearing your throat, you spoke the password and watched in amazement as a snake seemed to appear out of nowhere, slithering to form the door to the slytherin common room.
the moment you stepped foot inside, music thrummed through your body. after a quick scan of the room, you found your serpents as they lounged across some furniture in a corner. yet, upon approaching, you noticed theo’s absence.
“your boy is getting you a drink.”
draco nodded to the drink table where sure enough, theo was pouring up some sort of concoction. you softly excused yourself and started your way towards him.
theo’s friends watched on as the boy completely lit up when he saw you. mattheo felt a plan began to hatch.
enzo, who apparently recognized the look on mattheo’s face, immediately began to shake his head violently.
“no. whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t.”
immediately, mattheo’s face twisted into a look equal parts disbelief and exasperation.
“oh come on, don’t tell me you aren’t tired of those two dancing circles around each other.” he took a swig of his drink and then stood dramatically. “we all know there’s only one way to fix this.”
midway through a rather animated conversation with theo, you felt a large hand in your own. out of the corner of your eye you could see mattheo with his signature smirk.
“don’t hog her all night, aurelius. c’mon sweetheart let’s dance.”
before you could reject him, the boy had dragged you onto the dance floor and was yanking you in various directions while “dancing” with you. of course, mattheo was respectful of you and theodore’s albeit odd relationship and simply held your hands while dancing with you.
still, he knew that it wouldn’t take much to rile up his friend when it came to you. and having you ripped away from him while he was in the middle of admiring you would be frustrating no doubt.
and thus, no longer than ten seconds into your dance, mattheo was ripped away from you by his collar and dragged off by a rather irritated theo.
well, anyways.
pansy grinned knowingly as you made your way back to where she and the others were sitting. she clearly knew something. you pulled her from the couch by her wrist and out of ear shot of the boys.
“what the hell pansy?”
“mattheo has a brilliant plan to get dear little theodore to confess his feelings for you.”
“oh yeah. brilliant.” you say sarcastically. “one problem though. theodore doesn’t have feelings for me.”
she rolled her eyes at you, then fixed you with a stare so intense you were suddenly reminded of why she was in slytherin.
“yes he does. honestly, you like him too right? cause it doesn’t really seem like it anymore.”
you blushed at the thoughts that entered your head. you really shouldn’t be thinking these things about your best friend but there you were.
“his hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it’s mine.”
pansy wriggled her eyebrows suggestively at you.
“well then you better go get him before he blows a blood vessel in his neck.”
she motioned behind you lazily. when you turned, theo was standing a few feet away from you and sure enough was glaring intensely at a grinning mattheo on the couch, looking as though he may kill the boy any second now.
deciding that mattheo’s death would be annoying for everyone to deal with, you approached theo timidly. yet, when his gaze met yours, you felt at peace.
your muscles relaxed involuntarily under his stare, and the closer you got to him, the more your mind seemed to clear. every thought jumped soundlessly from your brain to make room for the only thing that mattered: theodore.
"why do you let him rile you up theo?"
“he knows all the right buttons to press.”
“just ignore him.”
the brunette shook his head.
“i can’t do that. not when it’s you.”
your mouth fell open at his confession. thoughts raced through your brain but none of them actually tumbled off your tongue.
“you don’t have to say anything, bella. it’s okay that you don’t feel the same, i just needed you to know.”
your arms snaked up to wrap around his neck. electricity surged through the air and a grin spread across your face as you pulled the boy into a kiss.
“you’re so cute when you’re all dumb.”
theo’s thick brows sunk in confusion.
“i only bought this dress so you could take it off.”
@moonlightreader649 @thatdammchickennugget @helendeath @fandom-life-12 @bouquetolegoflowers @maryvibess @nighttimemoonlover
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xzaddyzanakinx · 6 months ago
Text
Not That Kind of Guy
Part Seventeen: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series
Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, sexual content/fantasizing, pervy behavior, panty/scent kink, mask kink(Ghostface), gaslighting/manipulation, public/semi-public, spitting, cumplay, nude vids/pics, masturbation, oral, PIV, dick piercing, forced orgasm, bondage/blindfolds, biting/slapping/spanking/cutting, rape kink, NONCON/DUBCON/CNC, Somno, blood, knife, GEN. SMUT [All possible tags listed, all may not apply] warning: suicidal ideation no smut this chapter sorryyyy
Info: the boy is going through it. [diary entries from Ani {dates are odd but I promise it’ll make sense later}] extremely not proofread. MDNI 18+
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September 9th, 11:53 pm
Anakin immediately reacted to your sudden, startled jolt. The gasp you’d inhaled had him momentarily concerned you may have hurt yourself in some way, it sounded pained and although he wasn’t sure what it could’ve been, that didn’t mean he could dismiss the idea entirely.
”You okay babydoll? What happened?” He asked, setting aside his Xbox controller to give you his full attention.
”Yeah!” You squeaked, nodding your head quickly, though your movements were perceived as slow by you. “Yeah, just uh, one of those weird ‘almost asleep but suddenly I’m falling’ things.”
”Oh…” He nodded, relaxing a little bit. “Do you need me to get you some water or something? That kind of thing is stress induced you know.”
”Yes.” You swallowed hard, fighting a lump in your throat that just refused to diminish. “I know, uh I think maybe I’ll just go to the bathroom.”
“Well, alright.” He said, giving you a critical once-over before waving you off and returning to his game.
Scurrying off to the bathroom in the most awkward way you possibly could, you shut the door with a bit more strength than anticipated, causing Anakin to call out and check on you. One forced ‘all good’ later, you were sitting on the closed toilet lid with your head in your hands. The initial panic was beginning to fade now that you’d removed yourself from the situation, making room for fear to frost over your skin and halt your critical thinking.
Ghost could be anyone, logically you know that. So there is no reason to fly off the handle and accuse someone you care deeply about of committing many, many crimes. There isn’t any way for you to peacefully have such a conversation without it feeling like an attack. In the event you are wrong, such an assumption would no doubt spell the end of the one and only stable, loving relationship you’ve ever had.
If you’re right… well.
But you’re not. Of course you’re not, how could Anakin be capable of some of the things, any of the things Ghost has done? He’s a gentle giant, the guy who would rather scoop up spider in his bare hands to set it outside instead of squashing it. He makes you feel special and adored, your moments with him are calm and caring. He’s practically the polar opposite of Ghost.
Ghost has his moments, few and far between, where he is more than the mask. The moments when he’s less grey and more moral. Less animal and more man. He’s what you’d expect a jar of licorice would be like personified. The candy no one likes, the one that gets over looked and outright hated on. But the people who actually like licorice, they defend it until their dying breath and it seems like you’ve become quite fond of the bitter sweetness and the tough to chew exterior. Once you get past it, it’s really not so bad. Just like Ghost.
you shook yourself out of the stupor you were in, standing up to turn on the sink and splash cold water on your face, hoping to startle some sense back into yourself. After patting the sensitive skin dry, you pulled out your phone and promptly brought up your own contact info, dialing the number to call Ghost. It rang, once, twice, three times before disconnecting. He had hung up on you.
He had never hung up on you before this moment. While you knew he had every right to ignore you, perhaps never even speak to you again… you couldn’t let this go. So you tried again and again and-
‘What do you want?’ The text chimed through just before you could hit the call button one last time.
‘I think we should talk soon.’
’Why the fuck do you want that? You’re calling me this late for that? You should be groveling for forgiveness.’
‘This is me groveling?’ You audibly huffed at his response, waiting for him to send a follow up or not.
‘You can do better than that. I’ve seen you beg for cock, you know how to grovel.’ He responded.
‘Does it matter?’
’yes.’ Was the simple reply, short and sweet and read in his voice he uses when he snaps at you.
‘Nevermind.’
’fuck off.’
’Really?’ Outwardly scoffing at the text when it popped up on your screen.
‘Oh no, did I hurt the baby’s feelings?’
‘I should be meaner.’
‘But I won’t.’
Three texts in a row, three texts all containing completely different tones. Sarcastic, irritated, and ‘pissed but i still love you’. You thought about replying, started typing out a message but erased it, only to do it again. Finally you decided against replying at all, turning off your sound and putting the phone back into your pocket, flushing the toilet for appearances sake and running the water again.
You planned to head back to the living room, but saw that Anakin was cleaning up… sloppily, but still. He was straightening out the throw pillows and blankets, returning his controller to its spot beside the tv and pushing all the stuff on the coffee to one side, then calling it finished.
“Anakin. Are you alright?” You asked, standing in the entryway to the very short hall.
“Yes.” The word short and clipped.
“You sure?” Your voice was meek, timid, as you fiddled with the hem of your shirt. “I don’t want to sound… nit-picky or anything; it’s just that your cleaning habits seem to have changed and I know how you are about having a clean space.”
“The first thing you say to me after coming back from the worlds longest piss is ‘hey why’s your house messy?’ Really?” He scoffed, his eyes flickering down to your hands, your pockets.
“I don’t mean it like that.” You frowned, your eyebrows pinching together in a show of frustration. “I’m just worried that’s all, you never leave stuff like this, especially before bed.”
“No, no.” Anakin waved your half-apology off like he didn’t care to hear anymore from you. “Don’t you worry, I’ll get right on it.”
“Hey, it’s late. Don’t-“
“Shut up alright? Just… just go to bed.” Anakin snapped, shooting a glare over his shoulder at you.
“Did you just tell me to shut up?” You asked quietly, your face morphing into something resembling disappointment. He’d said that to you jokingly plenty of times, but this time, you knew without a doubt he meant it. The way it was delivered spoke volumes to how he was feeling.
Anakin sighed, turning around to run both hands through his hair and ruffle it up frustratedly. His arms crossing over his chest tightly, clenching his fists with his jaw set firmly, the muscle rolling beneath the skin when he gritted his teeth.
“I am sorry.” He said enunciated every syllable, almost looking through you rather than at you.
“Is it because of the pill?” You asked, meaning only to understand the situation better, though causing it to worsen.
“What an astute observation baby!” Anakin sneered, throwing his hands up frustratedly. “Wow. Now if only you could poke your cute little head a bit farther out of your ass. Yeah?”
“What do you mean?” Questioning him didn’t seem like the best option currently, but what else were you supposed to do?
“It… it really doesn’t matter.” He grumbled, spinning away from you to walk toward his kitchenette. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’ll feel better if I clean up. I’ve just been so stressed.” He hissed the last word, glancing over his shoulder at you.
“Can- will you let me help at least? It’ll get done quicker.” You offered, trying to be helpful might distract him and you from everything else.
“No.” He sighed, his hands laced behind his head, his shirt riding up just a bit as he leaned backward to stretch. “No, I want to do it. Just go to bed. Please?”
“Kisses?” You asked quietly, clasping your hands in front of you awkwardly.
“Yeah, yes of course.” Anakin softened, coming toward you with open arms and an odd expression on his face.
Pretty, clear, sapphire eyes rake over your visibly anxious body. He seemed stuck between barreling past you to lock himself in the bedroom, scooping you up to hold and console you, maybe even smacking you if you spoke a few more tart words.
He did none of those. Instead he gingerly touched your face and leaned down to press a gentle kiss to your lips, his expression unchanging in an uncomfortable way. His gaze piercing straight through you, burning upon entry and icing over at the exit. The muscles all relaxed save for the few pulling the corners of his mouth downward in a subtle frown. You hated it when he went blank like this, his emotions were completely unreadable, his skin taking on the properties of stone to stay cemented in place. A physical example of someone taking brick and mortar to their heart and mind.
“C’mon. I’ll put you to bed.” He said softly, nodding toward the closed bedroom door.
Turning the handle and pushing the door open, he led you into the cozy space that you were so hesitant to enter earlier. You braced yourself to have your fear confirmed, thinking you may find a hair band that didn’t belong to you, a false eyelash, the scent of someone new on your pillowcase. But as you walked to your side of the bed, stepping over a few stray clothes in the floor, you surveyed the nightstands, his was uncharacteristically crowded with cups and a collection of gum wrappers, yours was just the way you left it.
Technically, your ‘nightstand’ was really just half of his dresser. What wasn’t occupied by his large and ever growing hoard of shiny chains and oversized jewelry, rings, belts, wrist cuffs and the like; was home to a few of your things. It was mostly just for convenience sake, you did live just across the hall. All you really needed here was a little pink basket with your name sharpied on it that he’d bought for you containing all your ‘girlish possessions’.
Hair bands, bobbi pins, a scrunchie and a large hair clip tucked away in a small, clear plastic case that lay at the bottom of the basket. He even got your brand of mascara, concealer, foundation, blush and lipgloss in a cute heart shaped makeup bag. Among the other items he’d gotten for you were a hair brush, perfume, deodorant, a phone charger, your very own reusable water bottle (so you’d stop crawling over him and chugging his water at 2:00am), and a pink shark plushie that only slept in his bed when you were there.
You’d added your own items of course, your favorite shirt of his, some clean underwear and a pair of shorts and socks. Sometimes you just can’t be bothered to walk across the hall for such trivial things. It’d be nice to have a drawer like he has at your place, but the poor boy has so many clothes the things hardly close at all. So your basket serves you just fine.
After grabbing the charger and scrunchie you climbed in bed, already in pajamas. Already in pajamas. You moved from the mattress like you’d been burned, searing, scorching guilt licking at your palms to make them sweat. Anakin had been to distracted by picking up his dirty clothes and tossing them in the laundry basket tucked inside his closet to notice your knee-jerk reaction to the reminder that you were still in the clothes, still in the panties, that Ghost had lovingly peeled off your lustful flesh.
The panties that still had a little wet spot in the crotch, the ones he’d taken off just before your confession. The ones he threw at you in grieving anguish as he left you behind for the night. Thank the gods for those extra clothes, you grabbed them and swiftly went across the hall, passing a befuddled Anakin who watched you as you walked with purpose to the bathroom.
You couldn’t sleep next to him in that sinned in fabric. Even if he was being a complete ass, he didn’t deserve that kind of disrespect. So you freshened up and changed clothes, rolling the dirty ones into a tight ball as if it’d squeeze out some of the shame before you tossed it in his laundry basket. Tying up your hair loosely to keep it out of your face, you brushed your teeth and then returned to the bedroom, opening the closet and dropping the clothes into the laundry basket without a second glance.
Anakin was laying face down across the foot of the bed with his arms limp at his sides, lifting his head to rest his chin on the blankets when he felt your weight subtly pushing down against the soft memory foam. His eyes flickered a shade lighter than before at the sight of you, though they quickly returned to the flat, unfeeling eyes you rarely saw.
“Why’d you change?” He asked, his voice rumbling tiredly in his chest.
“Just… wanted to feel clean before bed I guess.” You answered, looking down at your lap where your hands rested palms up.
“Clean.” He scoffed, nodding his head. “Okay.”
“What?” You snapped at him, irritated by his tone or perhaps feeling a bit agitated by being questioned on such a sensitive topic.
“Nothin’ sweetheart.” He sighed, giving you a lopsided, half-hearted smile. “Let’s get you to sleep.”
You didn’t verbally respond, not pleased with his response or the way it was delivered. Simply pulling up the covers to your chin while Anakin situated himself atop the blankets with an arm tossed over you, groaning because he realized the lamp was still on. So he rolled to his side of the bed, reaching out with his right arm to pull the chain. He audibly hissed as though the movement hurt him, turning your head to watch as he rolled back over with a scowl on his face. Not one of anger, but one of swallowed pain.
“You okay?” You asked softly, shifting to face him as his left hand snuck under the blanket to lace his fingers with yours. There was just enough light filtering through the open bedroom door for you to see the annoyance flash over his features.
“I’m sore.” His tone flat again. “Pulled a muscle or something I think.”
“I can rub your back if you want?” You offered quietly, reaching out to gently feather your fingers over the fabric of his tshirt.
“Appreciate the thought darlin’ but I don’t think it’d help. It hurts to touch.” He said, a genuine appreciation in his voice. It was nice to hear some real emotion from him, it relaxed you, knowing he might be coming out of whatever emotional episode he’d fell into.
“I’ve been putting Arnica on it.” He added, scrunching and wiggling his nose like it itched.
“Arnica? Like the stuff for bruises?” You asked confusedly.
“No.” He said sharply, rolling his eyes. “I mean, yes but no. It helps with swelling too.”
“Oh,” You nodded, taking his word for it to avoid anymore upset. “I’m sorry, I wish I could help.”
“Well, you can’t.” He said. You didn’t take it as a jab, although the words fell hard from his lips, you knew he probably just meant it as a matter of fact statement, so you nodded in acceptance.
“Are you coming to bed soon?” You asked, trailing your fingertips over his forearm.
“Once I get everything picked up.” He nodded, closing his eyes for a moment.
“Listen… today has been a train wreck, I have been a train wreck. I really am sorry.” He whispered, true emotion finally shining through in both his words and his expression.
“It’s okay. It’s just a bad day. Everyone has bad days.” You said softly, looking at him with sympathy. “I haven’t helped the situation I know.”
“I could’ve handled it better.” He sighed.
You shrugged. “Let’s not play the blame game. No one wins that one.”
“True.” He gave you a small but meaningful smile accompanied by a squeeze of your hand.
“Will you wake me when you come back?” You asked, your eyelids getting heavy after Anakin’s release of emotion, it calmed you, knowing he wouldn’t be going to bed upset.
“Sure, why?” His eyebrows knitted together as he smoothed out a loop in your loose ponytail.
“Just cause.” You said quietly, looking at him with half-lidded eyes. “I want to know you’re here.”
“Cute.” His voice affectionate as he let out a little chuckle. “I love you too.” He whispered.
“I know.” You nodded, still unable to say it.
You just couldn’t. You couldn’t before, you definitely can’t now. You’d already confessed it to someone else, someone who you probably should’ve ran from, got a restraining order against and begged until they locked him away. But that’s just love isn’t it? It makes you do crazy things.
Crazy things like betraying your dutiful and loyal partner with lustful trysts that should’ve never happened. Wild things like getting railed more times than a two dollar whore in the span of 24 hours by two separate men, one of whom being completely anonymous. Your sister would be appalled if she ever discovered that you were fucked with so little respect that you’d been sliced open and loved every second of it. In actuality, you wouldn’t mind doing it again.
All the things love tricked you into doing, you continued to allow and you would do so until the idolatry buried you alive.
Insanely deranged things like killing a man. Your panicked shooting indirectly causing another’s death by your lover’s hands. Perplexing things like the remorse fading in less than a day, the grief of extracting a human’s soul like that should’ve haunted you for life. But if it weren’t for your fear of being caught, you might’ve forgotten it by now.
Even if you could let those words slip through your soldered lips, you’re not sure that the barbs on your tongue would stop you from confessing more than just your love.
Or is it even that?
What if it’s not love and simply security and a devotion to the stability Anakin provides? What if you’re taking advantage of his kindness and trust in you, using him for the best of his qualities and his unwavering faith in you? Could you be so cruel and callous, is it possible you may feel indebted to him in some way and your heart is misinterpreting that for love?
Maybe it’s your subconscious, your self-preservation trying to crack through the deliberately placed cage in your mind. The dank corner of your mind where you squirrel away unmentionables, undesirables and guilessly horrid thoughts and memories. These days it’s getting fuller and fuller, the barrage of incoming files seemed never ending. The curator inside must be struggling, grasping at the iron bars in hopes to come out with only a few paper cuts. If just one of those bars bend, a flood may come running out and you’re positive that sort of unloading might turn you toward madness.
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Diary Entry: September 9th
You’re finally asleep. God I wish I knew about your sleeping pills. Then I could’ve just popped one between those soft lips and you’d have went to sleep so much faster but you haven’t told Anakin you take them. I felt like I had to wait for hours, staring at your pretty face. I loved the view of course, however I didn’t love the way your lip kept twitching like you were upset as you were falling asleep. You’re still upset.
You’re just going to have to get over it. I won’t do it again. It was a moment of weakness and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t take it back anymore than I can’t make the memory of it go away. One pill. That’s all. Forget it.
I cleaned everything up. I even scrubbed the kitchen floor just to get some tension out. I’ve ruined my scrub brush, the bristles are all bent out of shape now.
When I went to check the bathroom and see if anything needed tidied up, I noticed my drawer hadn’t been closed properly, I know I didn’t open it. So it must’ve been you. Nosy bitch.
Well. I need a new hiding spot. Or maybe it’s just time to let that shit go. It’s not like I need twelve pair of panties and the other little trinkets I’ve stolen from you. I can take things and not have to hide it anymore.
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Diary Entry: September 9th continued
I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I never knew what i was doing but now i just feel like I’m paddling through shit creek with my bare hands and a wooden barrel for a boat.
My world is falling apart and I have no one to pray to because my goddess is just as rudderless as I am. How did i fuck up so badly and how the hell am I supposed to fix it when I just keep making it worse? I feel like I’m losing it, actually, truly losing it. I need guidance and the one person who has always been able to give me that is more lost than I am. I’m not meant to be a leader.
How can I bring you back from the dark when you are my light?
Is it even possible to atone for the things I’ve done or should I do worse and hope it cancels it out? Obviously I won’t try that because you can’t really get much worse than what I’ve done without doing some truly heinous things. See? I am capable of listening to the voice of reasoning I so often ignore.
You ignore yours too. I know you do or else we never would’ve made it this far. I used to think it was because you’re just a fucking idiot. I’ve come to the understanding that you are willfully ignorant.
I can’t even blame you. I can’t, not when I’m the one who set us up for this. It’s my fault and I’m just waiting for the window of your soul to chop me in half like a guillotine the next time I try to crawl through. You gave me such a slim opening and I was barely able to wrench myself away in time to only lose a few metaphorical fingers. The me inside my mind has yet to staunch the flow from the loss.
I know now why you won’t say it. Because you did say it. Just not to me, not to the me I made for you. I don’t know how to feel… relieved maybe, but I can’t help imagine it’s a bit unhealthy. For you I mean. I’m perfectly fine being the way I am, though I never meant to share the worst parts of me with you. Despite knowing, witnessing, participating in such a thing; you still chose to tell Ghost you loved him before you told Anakin.
I don’t know what to do with that information.
Then, you went and confused me even farther and denied me the only organic opportunity to tell you who I am. I’ve already shown you. That was the whole point of continuing all this. I could’ve stopped when we started dating but I didn’t because I didn’t want to. I realize now, you didn’t want me to either. You’ve seen the me I curated and molded into perfection. The me that you deserve. You’ve always had the option to take him and leave the rest behind but you still haven’t and I can’t foresee a future where you will.
Do you love Ghost because he is real? Is he real? Am I?
Have I always been him and never Anakin? Sometimes I think yes. Others I wholeheartedly believe I made them both just for you. Deep down i know its not true, I know who I am. I am an undeserving man. It doesn’t matter what way you spin it,. It doesn’t matter how many me’s I create, I will never be good enough for you. You know that, don’t you?
Can you tell that it’s a half-truth? Is that why you can’t tell me you love me? You know there’s something missing, it’s an incomplete file. Whether you want to admit it or not, you’ve known all along that I’m a fraud. You’re the only one. Other than my mother of course and don’t you dare make some sort of Freudian joke, that’s just clichè.
You are the only person I haven’t been able to fool. Further proof you are who I believe you to be. A goddess. They have some sort of ‘all knowing’ ability, yes? I’ve compared you to the Greek’s Artemis and her sister-goddess Diana from Rome, Goddess of the hunt. And hunt you have, even on those wobbly legs of a fawn. You hunted, hungry to learn and grow until you’ve turned into the beautiful, powerful doe I knew you were destined to be. My Doe. My Goddess.
You wanted to see me and you did. So why wouldn’t you let me tell you?
Are you afraid? I am.
I’m so afraid I tried to numb myself. Though like the savior you’ve become so good at being, you saved me from myself again. How is it that you can appear at just the right moment? I would’ve taken that second pill had you not come out to stop me. I might’ve even taken all your sleeping pills. Because I am afraid, and what do cowards do when they are afraid? They take the coward’s way out, it’s called that for a reason.
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Diary Entry: September 10th
I hate lying to you. I hate hiding things from you.
I hate myself for doing that. I know I didn’t have to but I felt like I did.
I hate myself.
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Diary Entry: September 13th
God I’m so fucking frustrated. Why are you being like this!? I don’t deserve this. You tell me you love me, you stop me from showing you my face, and I got pissed so I left. I gave myself blue balls but I’m going to blame you for it because it’s your fault after all.
We’ve kissed, we’ve touched, you’ve straddled my hips and rubbed your warm, wet panties all over my boxers but you won’t let me fuck you. You won’t let me make love to you. You won’t even let me get a finger beneath those pretty panties that I paid for.
There’s only so much my hand is capable of.
What are you afraid of? Telling me you love me? Probably. Last time you fucked someone it slipped right out. What a shame it would be for you to say it to me again.
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Date
September 15th
You scrubbed at yourself in the shower, contemplating the man troubles that have plagued you ever since that night you finally made up with Anakin. He’s been grumpy, overly asshole-ish and so unbearably stubborn for the past few days that he’s on thin ice, holding a heat gun over the weak spot. Nothing you say seems to help but it also doesn’t seem to hurt, so you’ve been in a perpetual game of hot potato. As long as you keep going around the circle you won’t get burned.
Ghost hasn’t spoken to you in over a week and you’re beginning to think he may never make an appearance again. He hasn’t left a message, a note, a gift. He hasn’t even been inside your apartment. Ghost had never ever been so neglectful. It’s to the point that you might call and report him missing if you were certain of who he was.
The cameras in your home had been so well hidden that you didn’t think you’d ever find them, turns out they’re pretty easy to spot when theyre low on battery and the damn thing flashes red while you’re trying to sleep. You had always assumed he had a camera in your room, but to have it confirmed and see that it’s directly above your bed… was one of the more uncomfortable aspects of the odd relationship between you.
It was so tiny you couldn’t believe that it actually functioned as a camera. You plucked it from the hiding spot on your ceiling fan and put it in your jewelry box along with all the other things that Ghost had left for you. It was kind of entertaining, like a weird game of eye-spy to see if you could find the others now that you knew what to expect. You hadn’t found them yet, but you knew it wouldn’t take long for the rest of them to need charging too.
Oddly enough, it made you a little sad to think that he might’ve stopped watching. You always imagined that when or if Ghost ever left your life that you’d be relieved. If you would’ve told the terrified mouse who’d woken up to a stranger with a knife all those months ago… that she’d be sitting in the shower floor mourning the loss, well, she’d send you to the fifth floor without hesitation.
You’d wracked your brain over and over again, grasping at any idea that seemed remotely plausible in hopes that you’d conjure up some elaborate plan to fix everything. No grand scheme had revealed itself yet, aside from faking your death and moving out of the country, but Luke would hold a grudge against your faux corpse. You had promised that he would be allowed to die first because he couldn’t bare the idea he might outlive you.
Luke.
Maybe it was time to tell Luke. You wouldn’t have to share all of it, you could even lie a little, make it less rapey and more romantic. Sans murder and add a dash of sweetness. It’s not like you’ve lived a single day of your life for the past few months without telling a handful of lies a day. What’s a few more?
Maybe you should threaten warn Ghost first. As a courtesy of course. He should know if you’re planning on spilling your guts to your best friend, it’s only fair. What’s Ghost going to do? Roll up to Luke’s apartment and duct tape your mouth shut? No.
You sighed, stepping out of the shower, half expecting to see Ghost sitting on the sink again, unfortunately he was not. Unfortunately.
You didn’t have time for this. You didn’t have time to mope about, you’re a girl with a job that you neglected for days on end and they were kind enough not to fire you. So long as you were okay with being on probation; you were of course. Finding another stable job in a city like this on such short notice would be nightmarish. Thank the gods you’re their best waitress.
Ever since you returned to work, Sara has forced you to wear a ‘trainee’ badge and all your regulars have bullied you endlessly for it. Those little old men may seem sweet and harmless but the moment they find something to poke fun at they turn into a pack of jackals. Today you’d be back to serving them coffee sans the trainee badge of shame. Unless of course you are late.
Hurriedly dressing in your uniform and fixing yourself up enough to be presentable, you sprinted out the door and down the steps, quick walking to your car. You’d be late if you leisurely walked to The Bluebird like you normally did. You’d made a habit of parking right next to Anakin’s vehicle, so you had to walk past it everytime you climbed in to yours. You’ve not used your car since you returned from your weekend getaway and Anakin’s car hadn’t been there when you arrived.
You hardly glanced at it anymore, being so used to seeing it there. It always looked the same. He always parked it the same, always backing it in to the spot. So you weren’t expecting anything different when you bent down to pick up the quarter next to his driver side door. It must’ve fallen out of the overflowing change cup he kept in the door pocket.
You smiled, seeing it was face up, taking it as a good luck sign. You needed some good luck, so you picked it up. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed something different about Anakin’s car. The tire.
Dirt. Real dirt. Not the city street gunk or the sand and gravel mixture in the back parking lot of The Cerulean. It was dark earth and grass, trapped in the grooves of the rubber. Where had he gone that he might’ve needed to drive over actual dirt?
——————————————————————————
“Hey doll.” Anakin’s deep voice appeared suddenly to your left, his hand on your back as he walked past you to take a seat at the counter while you finished up taking your table’s order.
You gave him a smile and trudged off to the kitchen, clipping the order slip to the line above the stovetop. As you came back out of the kitchen, you shoved your pad and pen back into your apron pocket, surveying your tables to make sure everything was as it should be before you stopped to talk with Anakin.
“What’s up Ani?” You asked, leaning on your elbows against the counter.
“Huh?” He raised his eyebrows, tonguing his labret piercing distractedly while he picked at his nail polish. “Oh, uh I just wanted to come say ‘hi’ before I had to go to work.” He said, giving you a little smile, his eyes not quite meeting yours.
“What’ve you been up to today?” You asked, turning around to get him a Pepsi, watching the liquid pour out and bubble up in the cup.
“What’ve you been doing?” He countered, taking the glass from you hesitantly, looking you over like he was searching for something.
“Just been at home and here.” You frowned, unwrapping a straw and popping it in his drink for him.
“Got plans or anything after work?” He asked, taking a sip through the straw.
“No? Sh-should I? Did I forget something?” You asked worriedly.
“Mm-mm.” He shook his head, eyes flicking down to his drink and back up to you. “No I just want you to stay at my place tonight.” He said quietly.
“But you work tonight.” You said, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.
“I’m aware.” He said with a snort, looking at you with a flat affect.
“I- I mean I’ll definitely stay.” You nodded. “I just guess I’m surprised.”
“Why?” He asked, curling up his top lip.
“I don’t think I’ve ever stayed at your place when you’ve been at work before.” You said, tilting your head to the side.
“You haven’t.” He confirmed, unfolding a napkin in front of him and laying it flat, ripping off tiny pieces.
“Well, first time for everything then huh?” You smiled, hoping to break him from the reeking attitude he was carrying around with him.
“Come out to my car with me.” Anakin wasn’t asking, not even instructing. He was demanding.
“Oh-okay just a second.” You nodded, walking toward the kitchen doorway. “Vigo! Anakin is here, I’m gonna take a break.”
“Yeah sure.” Vigo waved you off, tossing a towel over his shoulder before he flipped on the tap and began washing his hands.
You turned on your heel and expected to see Anakin sitting at the counter where you left him. Though as you untied your apron and tossed it under the counter, you scanned the diner and saw him nowhere. Instead, he was already heading out to his car, the ‘Open’ sign on the glass door of the restaurant swinging back and forth just proved he pulled it open with more force than necessary.
Peering through the glass as you approached the door, hand out to push it open, you spotted him leaned against his car with his arms crossed. His head down, staring at the blacktop beneath him until he jerked to the side, sensing your presence growing nearer.
“Get in.” Anakin opened the drivers side back door for you and gently ushered you inside. A big contrast to the gruff tone he spoke with.
“Yes sir.” You rolled your eyes, speaking sarcastically. It didn’t seem like Anakin thought it was just a good natured jab. Rather, he reacted like it was a personal attack.
He firmly grabbed a handful of your hair and yanked it as he climbed into the back seat behind you. He let go just as quickly as he gripped it, wordlessly splaying his fingers across your scalp to apologetically massage your scalp.
“What the hell was that for?” You scowled, batting his hand away from your head.
“We haven’t fucked since you came back,” he said, ignoring your question. “I want you to fuck me.”
Your jaw dropped through the floorboard of the car and shattered on the pavement beneath. Watching him unbutton and unzip his jeans, more comfortably spreading his legs and leaning back, his hands laced behind his head with a grunt. He let out a sigh and closed his eyes, waiting expectantly for you to make your move, but you were simply speechless, frozen in place.
“Hello?” He snapped his fingers in front of your face to get your attention. “If you’re gonna sit there with your mouth open at least put it to work.” He scoffed, grabbing the back of your neck with one hand, pulling out his already hard cock with the other.
There was a split second of hesitation on his part, pausing like he realized what he was doing, suddenly coming back to consciousness after being possessed.
“Princess… I’m so sorry, y-you don’t have to do anything.” He turned his head to you revealing his paling cheeks as he quickly released the back of your neck from his rough hold, only to be shocked by the lustful gaze staring back into his worried eyes.
“Th-that was hot.” You squeaked out, melting into submission.
“Wait- really?” He asked, eyebrows pinching together in shameful hope. His hand hovering over the nape of your neck as if waiting for permission.
“Y-yeah, yes.” Swallowing thickly, cautiously sliding off the backseat and onto the carpeted floor to kneel in front of him.
“Sweetheart, no.” He shook his head, a mask of remorse passing over his features. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to. I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I did that.”
“Anakin.” You said quietly, “please shut up.”
“O-okay.” He nodded quickly, suddenly timid, so unlike that man from just seconds earlier.
You lowered your head without another glance up at him, moving to swirl your tongue and suck on the silver ball of his jewelry to slight push and pull the metal through the piercing before taking his cockhead between your lips.
You were too busy to notice the absolutely wicked, deriding, straight up unsettlingly evil grin eat away at the faux timidity he’d painted on his pretty face.
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Diary Entry: September 17th
Is there a word for when you kind of feel bad about something because you know that you should, but you don’t actually feel bad about it? If there is one I’d like to know it. It’d be perfect for this. It’s exactly how I feel.
I don’t think I’m obligated to actually feel any sort of ‘remorse’ in this situation though because it’s not really my fault. Even if it is… it’s only indirectly. After all the excitement life has finally slowed down enough for me to notice I’m out of my meds. Have been like for a few days.
So, apologies for being a total jerk, but also no I’m not apologizing because I don’t believe you mind it. I think you just don’t like it. You don’t like facing what you already know to be true. Kind of like when you rearrange the magnets on the fridge. You get so used to seeing it one way that you hardly pay attention. But the moment you move ‘em around its like you’re looking at a brand new fridge every time you walk past it. It just jumps out at you.
Same fridge, same magnets. Same me, more Ghost, less Anakin.
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Diary Entry: September 20th
Why does life have to kick me in the ass, why won’t it just pucker up and kiss it? I have a nice ass. You’ve said so.
I can list a hundred things that I would rather be doing this week, a thousand if I tried really hard. I would prefer to shove my hand in a manual meat grinder than go back to that stupid fucking doctor.
My mother makes her weekly FaceTime call and turns it into a game of twenty questions.
I know exactly what she was trying to do, fishing for information, trying to see how much I knew. She did the same thing when that murder on campus happened. It wasn’t me. The guy who did it was caught and locked up, it was a senseless crime. The poor kid didn’t do anything but stand in the wrong spot at the wrong time. Just because I live near the campus, doesn’t mean I’m involved. Except for this time.
I don’t do senseless crime. I’m not stupid.
‘It’s been a while since I’ve gotten a call from your doctor honey. Did you take me off the information release? You know you can’t do that Anakin, it’s mandatory.’
‘Your prescription hasn’t been filled, you haven’t taken it in over a week! Don’t lie to me!’
Fucking fine. Alright. I love the woman but Christ alive she gets on my goddamn nerves. Now I have to go back to the shrink because I didn’t call and request my meds to be refilled and I didn’t try to pick them up when they were ready. Apparently if you’re three days late to the CVS pharmacy they put your crazy pills back and hold them hostage. Some policy shit about controlled substances.
My mom watched the news and thought to herself ‘hmm, it’s been alittle while since I’ve questioned my son’s sanity.’
Have I not done enough to prove I’m capable of being a functioning member of society? The state says I have. Why can’t she do the same? Officials have signed off on my ability to be normal and surprise! I have ‘maintained mental stability’ and ‘reintegrated into society’.
They’re over it. Why can’t she be?
I mean for fucks sake, she was used to it. Those doctors and nurses who loved to sedate me while I was in that state school weren’t and they forgave me a million times quicker than mom did. I would’ve gotten grounded for months if she had been the one to find out I was stealing meds and reselling them. It’s not my fault they padlocked it with a big clunky thing from the 90’s. A toddler could’ve picked that lock with a spoon, but they trusted a school of delinquents not to capitalize on it? All they did was give me a time out in the bad boy box for a week. It was like a vacation, no classes, no people, no gym.
They expected me to be upset about that? Please.
The only thing I didn’t think I was going to get away with there was the whole therapy-chicken fiasco. My refusal to apologize definitely didn’t help. But when you live in the suburbs majority of your life you aren’t exactly accustomed to a fucking rooster thinking the sun is coming up at 4:00 am. I already had to deal with sharing a room with a chronic masturbator who snored and grease-trap McGee who thought axe body spray could substitute for a shower.
Adding chickens into a coop directly outside my window was the tipping point. A state official who believed caring for animals could be therapeutic almost cost me my graduation. Out of all the animals they could’ve chosen, they picked chickens.
They only lasted a week before I got fed up and wrung their necks like a washcloth.
But I’m an adult now. I’m a big boy, making big boy choices and one of those choices was to stop seeing my doctor. I would’ve kept up with my pills, however, I was busy following my girlfriend to the lake when I got the ‘prescription ready for pickup’ text.
I probably don’t even need them anymore anyway. I’m fine. But now if I don’t get my ass in there for an appointment with Dr. Bullshit I’ll have to get reevaluated through the court and have to see that little bitch ass man-boy I hit with a table. I can’t have that. Not when everything is perfect in my life.
Except for the stuff that’s really horribly terrible.
Appointment: date: September 28th 3:30pm
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September 15th 8:23pm
Seconds after unlocking your front door, you flopped down face first onto the couch. Dropping your belongings onto the floor below you with a thud, you had no intention of moving until absolutely necessary. You just wanted to rot. Not because you wanted to die per say… its just that you wouldn’t mind feigning dead for a while and if you just so happened to perish while playing the part of a corpse; well it wouldn’t be so bad. It’d be way easier than living the life that you’ve found yourself in.
Everything had been so undeniably awful lately that the joy had been sucked out of even the smallest things that made you happy before. Like the nice old lady who gets coffee and a slice of cake for lunch, she’s so cute and small and she always leaves a peppermint as part of your tip. It always made you smile, always gave you a warm feeling in your chest, but today was different. Today the gesture made you feel hollow.
Since he left, it’s all you can think of.
——————————————————————————
9:52pm
After peeling yourself away from the comfort of your couch, you showered and ate a dinner fit for royalty: microwave stir fry rice. Then you dragged yourself across the hallway to Anakin’s. For reasons yet to be revealed you were dreading your time inside his place alone. The air felt heavy and stale as you walked through the space, into his living room. It was always like this when he was gone, like the apartment never fully ‘wakes up’ until he steps inside.
It’s odd, feeling like the room you’re in is in a state of dormancy. Yet, it’s not the cause of your hesitancy to stay here tonight, while he’s away. No, you’re hesitant because Ghost he usually visits on nights Anakin is at work. What if he shows up and you’re not there? Will he make an appearance here? Will he think it’s your way of saying you don’t care if you see him or not?
Worse still, could the hesitancy stem from that little voice trapped deep in the recesses of your mind? The one you’ve ignored every time it’s been able to rip the gag from it’s mouth?
The rope of dread wraps tighter and tighter around your neck each moment you’re here alone. No amount of distraction has been able to cure the itch, the burning, nagging itch to get up and search. Is that what he wants? What if he’s been here?
Are there cameras here too? That’s something you’ve never even considered before and the thought makes you feel ill. It’s one thing to have your own privacy breached, but Anakin’s… that’s unfair to him and it’s already gone past ‘innocent’ watching. The camera in your bedroom has surely caught things no one else should’ve seen and that knowledge has begun to haunt you.
He’d been watching you have sex. With him. With Anakin. He had hours of footage, a thousand thoughts crossed your mind at the realization. But only a few were significant enough to take note of. If he’s been monitoring your bedroom activity… why was he only upset about the time you and Anakin had sex in the living room? He was so angry about it, so angry he wanted to roleplay stabbing you. He cut you while he pounded you from behind.
Why hadn’t he been that jealous about every other time? Probably to spare you the embarrassment of knowing the camera was right over your bed. It would be stupid of him to reveal that sort of information, then he wouldn’t have all those videos, perfect for blackmail, presumably great amateur porn. He wouldn’t… would he? He killed a man.
Men?
So it’s not out of the realm of possibility that he might’ve been saving all that up in case he needed it. He did say he’d send those pictures to Anakin if you didn’t behave. That’s blackmail. That’s a threat.
Or maybe, he’d done something even worse. Ghost… could he have…? No. He’s too possessive. He wouldn’t try to make money off of you like that. Would he? Despite laughing off the thought, your phone suddenly appeared in your hand, thumbs working of their own accord to check any and every explicit website you could find using the tags ‘ghostface’ ‘masks’ ‘hidden camera’ ‘blindfold’ ‘gagged’ ‘knife’ and anything else you thought it might’ve been labeled under. Scroll after scroll you squinted your way through countless video thumbnails, all the big sites were clean as far as you could tell.
OnlyFans? Maybe. He’d make way more on a site like that than he would on a larger porn site. Right? Wouldn’t it be considered… niche content? So you searched there, preview and profile pictures of so many people popped up. Maybe it’s not as niche as you thought. The idea that others may be interested in something like that was slightly comforting and only a tad infuriating.
These people might not be your Ghost; but they shared his face. And, they had hundreds if not thousands of people watching them.
It shouldn’t bother you as badly as it does, but you can’t help it. Maybe his own possessiveness has started to rub off on you, because the thought of someone else watching a man in the same mask as Ghost… almost felt like cheating.
Realistically, he could be any of these men.
You could be looking at him right now along with whoever else is online and you’d never even know it unless you saw yourself pop up on the page. But then you’d have to subscribe to **every single one** of these profiles. You might waste your time scrolling through videos and never finding what you were looking for.
Because… realistically he probably isn’t one of these men.
“Enough.” You groaned, fisting your hair on both sides of your head, then pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes.
Finally you got up and made popcorn, sitting yourself in front of the living room tv for a bit of a wind-down before bed. It would be hours before Anakin got home, X-Files was calling and you just had to answer. So you restarted it and settled in for a binge. The familiar theme washing over you in a nostalgic sort of way, late nights passing by on the projector of your memories.
Luke and you in his twin bed, comforter bundled around you as you sat huddled together, crosslegged in the soft glow of the tv and his small spaceship nightlight. Too old for ‘kid shows’ and too young for horror movies, so you found the next best thing: Goosebumps for grown ups.
His parents were fancy enough to have a DVR to record shows, allowing the two of you to rewatch your favorite episodes whenever you pleased. So long as his father didn’t record over them to catch the newest episode of American Idol.
Isn’t it odd how we so often return to the comfort of childhood in times of uncertainty? Clinging onto the old things that were stable even in the forever changing world you grew up in. Every night without fail, re-run after re-run of X-Files would play on channel 72. All night long.
Now you didn’t have to wait until 8:30pm. You could watch it whenever you wanted, or needed. The latter was true in this case. You want to believe. Just like Mulder. But, Scully is reasonable and you needed to be reasonable. An inkling isn’t proof, a feeling isn’t fact. Cold, hard evidence doesn’t lie. But your mind, your heart, your eyes and ears… are not as trustworthy as you might like to think.
You only got through two episodes before you stood up and sat your bowl of neglected popcorn aside.
“Skeptics are often the best detectives.” You mumbled to yourself, a very paraphrased quote from the show.
You’d come here to snoop once already and had found nothing. No evidence. But now you wondered if you may have been searching for the wrong things, in the wrong places.
“What would Scully do?” You thought.
You found yourself slipping into the role you once loved to play alongside Luke. You’d be the voice of reason to his fantasy world of the paranormal, when he’d come up with ‘cases’ for the two of you to solve. Only this time you would be playing both parts.
You’d started off toward Anakin’s bedroom when your phone buzzed, pausing just before passing the threshold into the space, you pulled your phone from your pocket and saw a text waiting to be read.
‘Do you miss me that bad?’
Ghost.
Unsure of whether to answer or not you freeze in place, staring down at the screen. He’d ignored you for what felt like eternity, now he was returning with a snarky comment about your internet searches. He can monitor your search history but he can’t say ‘hello’ for a week?
Your thumbs poised over the keyboard, a million jumbled words fighting for their chance to make an appearance in your quick witted, equally snarky, sarcastic-
‘Yes.’
‘Liar.’ The response came through the very second your phone showed that your message had delivered.
Your face heated up, how dare he call you a liar? After everything you would’ve thought he might know better. You chose not to entertain the comment, knowing it would only make Ghost think he’d successfully gotten under your skin. Even though he had, he wasn’t entitled to that information.
‘Your cameras are dying.’
‘I don’t need them anymore.’ The text finally appeared after several bouts of typing, erasing and retyping occurred on Ghost’s side of the conversation.
He doesn’t need them. At least he didn’t say he didn’t want them anymore, because that would imply that he didn’t want you anymore. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but you hoped it meant he had something else planned, not simply that he had lost interest in watching your day to day activities.
It was a sobering concept; the idea that you may be losing his attention. Is it worth it to even try to find out? Will the answer just hurt you more than the not knowing? You suspect it might.
So you turned off your phone. No more googling, no more texting. Just searching. With X-Files to keep you company, you walked around the living room to carefully lift every item in the room. Each little trinket inspected and every backing to his picture frames removed, the couch cushions lifted, unzipped and felt up. Scooting every piece of moveable furniture away from the walls and pushing it carefully back into place. Anakin was peculiar about his things, if you misplaced something by even a centimeter, he would notice.
If you weren’t so angry at Ghost, you might’ve thanked him for the ‘take a reference picture’ before moving someone else’s things trick. It was no wonder you didn’t notice him being inside your house for so long. He really was good at what he did.
But you were angry. Angry at him, at yourself, at Anakin. But you were furious at the invisible wall that kept you from searching Anakin’s room. Every time you approached it, your mind thought up some excuse for why you weren’t finished looking elsewhere. There’s only so many logical hiding places and you were suddenly determined to find them all before moving open to the more… illogical ones.
Cereal boxes. Ice cube tray. Dishwasher and the dishwasher pac container. The fabric along the bottom of the couch. Behind the mounted tv. In the trash cans beneath the trash bag. The water tank of the coffee pot. His shoes.
You even re-checked the bathroom after remembering you never found out what was keeping that drawer from being fully opened. Turns out Anakin beat you to it and got it out of the way, so when you opened it, you removed the drawer completely to find that there was nothing there and never had been. If there’s nothing there, there must be nothing in his room either.
And suddenly, that invisible barrier dissolved.
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“Oh you’ve gotta be fuckin’ joking.” Anakin laughed humorlessly, seeing his text deliver green. He tossed his phone onto the crate beside him, annoyedly pulling the cigarette from between his lips with pinched fingers and flicking the ash on the ground.
”What?” Trevor asked, pressing his back to the brick wall, enjoying a slow sip of whiskey.
“Ah, it’s nothing.” Anakin grumbled, raking a hand through his hair.
“Oh come on now don’t give me that shit.” Trevor scoffed, scuffing his shoe against Anakin’s. “I’d like to think I know you well enough to know when you’re royally ticked off.”
”Trev. You don’t ever wanna see me royally ticked off.” He chuckled, deep and gravely from the back of his throat. “I’m just… irritated.”
”You’ve been barreling around the bar for the last week like a bull in a china shop.” Trevor said pointedly, taking a gulp of his whiskey. “I didn’t think anyone would ever beat April’s broken glass record but you’ve fuckin’ smashed it.” Trevor snickered at his own joke, clearing his throat anxiously when Anakin didn’t laugh along with him.
”Seriously man, I’ll help you out if I can. Just say the word.” Trevor shrugged, feeling an awkward silence that he hadn’t shared with Anakin in quite some time.
”This isn’t something you can help with.” Anakin sighed, shoving his phone back in his pocket and rubbing his palms over his jeans, smacking his knees before standing up and tossing his cigarette butt into the designated coffee can.
”Girl trouble?” Trevor guessed putting both his hand palm up in front of him.
”When isn’t it girl trouble?” Anakin groaned, rubbing his face. “My girl, my mom, the fucking cat. Even the damn cat is being weird with me.”
“Well, what’d you do?” Trevor asked curiously, not trying to pry to hard.
”Oh you know.” Anakin shrugged, a smirk on his lips. “Went on a murderous rampage, girlfriend caught me snorting some special K, didn’t give the cat a treat, told my mom off over the phone.”
”Shit, anything else?” Trevor laughed, standing up as well to follow Anakin inside.
”Beat up a middle aged man, mugged a gas station attendant, robbed said gas station, stole a motorcycle, spray painted a few buildings, busted up a change jar, fucked your mom.” Anakin listed off on his hand, turning around with a grin on his face after the last ‘transgression’ left his lips.
”I should’ve seen that one coming.” Trevor huffed shaking his head. “Tell your mother I said ‘nice tits’.”
”Oh fuck right the hell off.” Anakin snorted, shoulder checking Trevor into the wall as they re-entered the bar.
”Yessir,” Trevor tipped his imaginary hat and spun on his heel. “Next time i see you, I’ll be calling you son.”
”Just don’t ask me to call you daddy.” Anakin shook his head, faking a right and smacking his left cheek lightly before running off behind the bar.
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September 16th 3:13am
Anakin left the bar after his shift that night, feeling a little bit lighter. His mind a little less foggy and a little more organized. He jogged up the steps to his apartment and almost walked in, his hand on the door knob in preparation to unlock it.
It was as if the other side of the hall was calling to him in a way he hadn’t experienced in a while. That same strong urge that had lured him into your life in the first place, he knew you were waiting for him, but it couldn’t hurt to make you wait just a tad longer, right?
Slowly he turned and switched keys, unlocking your door and stepping inside he flipped on the light switch and went about collecting the rest of the cameras he had so painstakingly set up all that time ago. Lining them up on the dresser in front of your bed just before taking all the little things he’d left, all the notes, and lining them up in chronological order from one edge of the dresser to the next, ending the sequence by taking off his centipede ring and placing the bullet he’d carved for you in the center of it.
He carefully plucked your hairpin from the jewelry box and held it for a moment in the palm of his hand, tracing over the delicately carved lines. He’d looked for so long, searched everywhere just to find it and you’d never worn it. He understood of course, he could understand the reasoning behind not wearing it. But keeping it tucked away in your jewelry box seemed like a waste of it’s beauty, a waste of what it represented for him. So, just like he stole it from that antique shop, he stole it back from you.
Anakin stood back as he slipped the hair pin into his pocket, looking down at his handiwork. It was satisfying to see it all laid out like that in front of him. Like a nice little history exhibit of your time together. It brought a small smile to his lips, a happy one, one that was real and genuine, proud.
He hadn’t planned this, he used to plan everything so carefully, so far in advance. He’d been running on instinct and the free feeling he got when he decided something on the spot for a while now. It felt nice to break from the mold he’d created for himself when it came to you, not so much when it involved murder. Anakin wasn’t a man who would admit to be scared about just any old thing. Scared of losing you? Absolutely he would admit to that. But scared of prison? No, he’s too tough for that.
Which is why he was blaming his tears on you and you alone. Despite his happy smile, he sniffed back salty droplets that graced his cheeks, unaware he was even crying until he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror on the dresser.
He was well aware that he’d been sloppy. There were so many things that didn’t make sense at that crime scene and he was hoping that the police were stupid enough to believe it was all due to that poor kid’s hysteria. Anakin was smart enough to know that the police wouldn’t share any information that was valuable, if they had suspicions anyone else was involved. They’d wait and bide their time, gathering evidence and luring the suspect into a false sense of security.
He was paranoid, so, so, paranoid. Rightfully so.
None of the boys he’d left alive turned up that way, which in all reality made it a little easier for him. There’d be no witnesses and no one to point the finger at a real life Ghostface. Two of the boys had bled out, the other died from a stress induced seizure and choked on his own tongue. Anakin supposed that might be a reasonable reaction to being zip tied to two dead guys that had fallen over on top of you. He knew he should feel bad, he did, just not for what he knew he was supposed to.
He felt bad for himself.
——————————————————————————
September 16th 3:46am
You were on your hands and knees, using your phone flashlight to search under all the furniture in Anakin’s room. You even lifted the mattress, took out all the drawers in the dressers and nightstand, even checked the pockets of the clothes hanging in his closet. The suitcase at the top of his closet and the shoes at the bottom.
You gave up searching after you picked up a candle and turned it over, why in the world would you be checking a candle for anything suspicious? You were beginning to believe you were just horribly paranoid, rightfully so, you’d just aided and abetted and murdered not too long ago.
So you cozied up in Anakin’s bed and started watching the X-Files that you’d switched over into his room’s tv for background noise. Now Scully and Mulder had your full attention.
It was a good episode, a string of strange unsolved murders. Mulder had a theory that would connect these murders to ones that had happened several decades before. He was convinced they were committed by the same man despite the time passed between them. He even found matching finger prints to prove his theory, yet Scully was still unconvinced. That was until the culprit came after her, breaching her home’s defenses by squeezing through the air vents.
You jolted upright so quickly it made your brain feel as though it spun on an axis. With your phone in hand you went about the apartment, checking each air vent. It would be a perfect hiding place for anything really. You would’ve never even considered it had it not been for the X-Files. Your palms sweat with anxious anticipation, each one you checked meant you were one closer to finding, or not finding whatever it was the Anakin may or may not be hiding.
You saved the one in Anakin’s room for last, assuming if he were to have hidden anything it would probably be there. You were just about to shine your light through the slats of the vent when you heard the front door open, in a moment of panic you shot upright to your feet, your phone gripped tightly in your fingers. Your face the picture of guilt as Anakin rounded the corner, his face twisting from surprise to confusion.
”What’re you still doing up doll?” He asked, looking at his watch, “It’s almost four.”
”I couldn’t sleep.” You said quickly, realizing the phone flashlight was still on, you tapped the button the turn it off but your fingers were so sweaty you had to wipe them on your shirt before you could properly use the touchscreen.
“What are you doing?” Anakin asked, walking forward as he watched you struggle, “Looking for something?”
”No! Why- what makes you think that?” You asked, your eyebrows knitted in concern.
”Uh,” He pointed to the phone in your hand and watched as you tried and failed to feign a gasp of realization.
”Oh! Right, I could’ve sworn I heard a mouse in here, I was just about to look.” You said, gesturing to the air vent. Anakin took the phone from your hand and flicked the flashlight back on. Kneeling on the ground to look for you.
”Are you that afraid of mice?” He asked with a slight laugh, looking over his shoulder at your pink cheeks.
”No, not really.” You shook your head, “I- you just startled me when you came in I think.”
”Well I’m sorry sweetheart, I didn’t mean to. I thought you’d be asleep.” He said, coming up off the ground and handling you your phone back. “If there was a mouse, he’s gone now.”
“Oh well that’s good then.” You sighed, nodding as you looked down at the vent again. He would’ve acted strangely if he had something down there… wouldn’t he have?
“Whatcha watching?” He asked, nodding toward the tv where a new episode had begun.
“Oh, it’s the X-Files.” You said with a slight smile, crawling back up into the bed. “You’ve never watched it?”
“Yeah I have, It’s been a long time though.” He said, leaning on the door frame and looking you over, taking his time as though he were looking for something. He was giving you a smile that seemed almost wistful, like he was sad about something.
“C’Mere babydoll. I don’t wanna get bar germs in the bed.” He pushed off the door frame with his foot, sauntering over to you, placing his hands on the side of the bed. Waiting patiently for you to come closer, his eyes seemingly soaking up every square inch of skin on your body. He smiled softly, cupping your cheeks in his hands to hold your face lightly and gaze down at you before moving in for a slow and loving kiss.
When he pulled away, he scratched the top of your head with his large hands, raking his fingertips through your hair. Guiding your closer again by the back of your head so that he could place a kiss to your forehead and pat your cheek.
”I’m gonna get clean.” He said, walking to his closet and stripping himself bare, tossing his clothes in his laundry basket. He turned to wink at you, biting the tip of his tongue with a big grin.
It made you blush, seeing him standing there so confidently and so comfortable in front of you. But the thing that made you bite your lip was the way his cock twitched, growing harder right before your eyes just because he was naked in front of you. He could see the lust, the admiration for him and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t an ego boost. He’d also be lying if he denied how much it flattened his heart when you looked away, not shyly. Purposefully. Anakin hid his small frown well, looking down to the side and ruffling up his hair with a tight lipped expression as he turned two the dresser to get a clean pair of boxers.
”Oh my god!” You gasped loudly, the sheets and blankets rustling as you made your way over to Anakin from where you sat on the bed. He nearly jumped out of his skin at your exclamation, turning around with wide eyes.
”What?” He asked looking around and down at himself in search of whatever had made you react so strongly.
”What the hell is this?” You asked, roughly grabbing him by his upper arm to spin him around and inspect his shoulder and back. He’d told you he had hurt himself, but he never let on like it was this bad. This was absolutely no pulled muscle.
“God this looks awful Ani!” You ran your fingers over the tender and multi-colored bruise on his right shoulder. “What happened?”
”Fuck.” He sighed, rubbing his eyes with the pointer finger and thumb of one hand. “It wasn’t a pulled muscle.”
”No shit? Really? I had no idea.” You said sarcastically, gesturing to the obviously painful bruise.
”Don’t.” He turned around, finger pointed at your face while his eyes stared down at you with darkened eyes that sent a shiver down your spine. He took a breath, closing his eyes again and when he opened them, a little bit of the light you’d grown accustomed to seeing shown through once more.
”I got in a fight.” He said simply, swallowing hard as his adam’s apple bobbed. “Just a scuffle at the bar, trying to break up an arguement. Just didn’t want to worry you princess.”
”I don’t appreciate being lied to over something so minuscule.” You scowled.
”You don’t? Oh, I had no idea.” He sneered, his voice sharp and clipped. “Sorry for trying to be mindful of you and your feelings. I didn’t think it would help our situation any, you know because you locked yourself away for a few days?”
You stepped back, the scowl fading slightly into something more sensitive. It was obvious you’d upset him, abundantly clear actually. The way he responded not only made you feel guilty for not considering the reasoning behind his lie, but also dredged up the guilt from the irony of your own words.
“I’m sorry.” You said quietly. “I should’ve reacted better, I was just- it worried me.” You admitted, walking over to pull him in for a comforting hug.
”It… It’s alright.” He sighed softly, nuzzling the top of your head to inhale your scent. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.”
”I understand.” You nodded, even though you didn’t really. He’d been acting so unpredictably as of late that it was starting to worry you in more ways than one.
“Do you?” He asked, the tone of his voice making it sound less like a question and more like a tease, though his eyes suggested it was serious.
”I think maybe you’re just really stressed or… or maybe something’s bothering you?” You ventured carefully not wanting to upset him again. “You’ve been acting different.”
”You haven’t spoken to my mom. Have you?” He asked, his eyebrow shooting up as he spoken.
”What?” You asked with a bit of a confused laugh. “No, I haven’t.”
He studied your face, searching for deception hidden beneath you confident denial and he was pleased to find none. He monitored your phone, he could hear you conversations, but you were aware of that and he was worried you might’ve found a way to bypass all his precautions.
”Okay.” He nodded. “Sweetheart, I’ve got- I need to… you know what? I think we should probably have this conversation after I put some pants on.” He said stepping back and giving you a smirk at the blush on your cheeks.
”R-right, I forgot.” You said, biting your bottom lip and allowing him to leave the room to shower. The second he closed the bathroom door you moved so quickly to the vent along the baseboard of the wall that you thought you might’ve given yourself rug burn on your knees when you dropped down to check it for yourself.
Empty.
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Part Eighteen
Tag-List:
@wickedtactics @tsugumiholic @kingdomhate @burnthecheshirewitch @exquisitcorpse @arzua10 @bby-imasociopath @depressed-kay @aliciaasky @naty-1001 @mrsmikaelsxn @bunnylovesani @ausskywalker @angelsadmired @slut4starwars @chocolatepalacecloudhoagie @starkiller419 @hearts4mitski4 @lethargic @allhailbuckybarnes-blog @shadowhuntyi @mortalheartache @fallinlovewithevil @sythethecarrot @chaoticantihero @vadersslut @luvvfromme @anakinsbaee @sweetcheesecakesblog @luvskywxlker @angelsadmired @kaminokatie @anakin-pilled @graveyard-stray @chiaraanatra @jediavengers @zapernz @salted-snailz @queenofchaos99 @ellie-luvsfics @dazednstars141 @hopesworlld @lonaah @guiltycherries @syralix @doblasftcisco @demieyesore @hemmoxloser
THE TAGS LIST IS FULL! But if you want to be tagged I will comment ur username for you. Love you all so many.
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10101 · 14 days ago
Text
An Indian man recently committed suicide because of a demand of alimony from his wife who wanted to divorce him. But the specifics of the case and the demand of alimony being valid aside, the common reaction of the Indian man has been insane and I wanted to share some of it here. I need feminists here to please read this and spread this around.
For context: dowry is (mostly) a Hindu Indian system in marriage whereby the bride’s family gives a certain amount of material possessions as a “gift” to the bridegroom’s family. In India, even now, marriage is explicitly or implicitly considered “marriage of two families” rather than “marriage of two individuals”. But dowry deaths often result from the in-laws perceiving the dowry to be less or it not existing because the woman is poorer or easy to exploit. In many cases, the in-laws burn the woman or severely abuse her until she commits suicide. There are laws protecting against this, but sometimes many cases aren’t reported, and many do not receive adequate punishments (a similar case with rape)
How do Indian men react to this information? With the idea that Indian laws favour women. How interesting. They believe that a woman can use these laws to ruin any family or man. Besides the whole fake case fallacy, this also shows just how wilfully ignorant or straight up evil these men are.
Moving on to the reactions
Exhibit A:
Here, khap panchayat usually means a certain caste’s “panchayat” (a rural governance body) that is not recognized under Indian law. It continues, in many cases, to protect caste-based discrimination and misogynist practices
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You might think these men are just reactionary so it doesn’t matter. But this is unironically how many Indian men think, and it is abundantly clear they act on it or intend to do so
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Exhibit B:
“Pooja paath” basically means saying a Hindu prayer everyday with (usually) a small temple in your home. In other words, this man believes men must force their wives to become religious. Because a good Hindu woman would supposedly never fight for her rights
“Kutai” means beating.
The photo is actor Ranbir Kapoor in the Bollywood movie, Animal, which is essentially a misogyny manifesto at this point and highly acclaimed by Indian men despite its extremely low IQ reactionary content
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As per the latest reports I could find, 30% of Indian women face domestic violence at the hands of their husbands or in-laws. But there is always an underrepresentation of the facts of rape and domestic violence rates in India. A large part is because much of it goes unreported. I can attest to this as someone who has heard of at least 3 such cases of extreme domestic violence where no action was taken purposefully. Additionally, the last report I remember reading mentioned at least 82% Indian men have raised a hand at their wives. I think that should tell you everything about an actual possible domestic violence rate.
Exhibit C:
The man who still likely has female friends and a girlfriend. Or his liberal sister following his account. Inside group chats and their own circles, we are all aware of how awfully these men talk about women. But on the outside, some trying to appear more friendly to women try giving placating statements like these. This is, as should be obvious, factually incorrect. There is not a single country in this world that favours women in law in a way that they are more privileged than men. Equity as a principle demands that the oppressed be given laws that seem to be privileging them, but in reality are an attempt to put them at least at the same functioning position as the oppressor group. This is basic liberal politics and an average man in India does not even understand this
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I don’t have much words anymore. The Indian feminist movement is extremely weak and fragile. It is as liberal and as divided as you can get. We are not equipped to fight with this the way Korean women have been strong enough to. I’m not sure what can save my Indian sisters, but I want more people around the world to at least understand the sheer depravity of Indian men. We have to deal with this dehumanisation on a daily basis, on top of the threat of being raped and mutilated, or burned by our in-laws if we’re married off. There is a reason why Amnesty once called India the worst country to be a woman, despite all the opposition to this mere idea.
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dekariosclan · 1 month ago
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I can't help but send another ask - or, well, this falls more under headcanon territory - your insights into Gale are always so poignant and immensely entertaining!
Can't remember exactly where in Act 1, but at some point Gale mentions that during his isolation he warded his townhouse tower against visitors for their own safety. Now, it's easy to take that at face value and assume he meant standard boring ol' protection spells, but we've all seen his resurrection protocol.
Which led me to ponder the following: what do you imagine the ratio of "practical wards meant to harmlessly deter visitors" to "elaborate booby traps that put Home Alone to shame" is? Does he remember where they all are, or after returning to Waterdeep are there a lot of "ah, must have missed that one" moments while rescuing poor Tav from yet another trap they set off by accident? Is Tara part of the security system?
I just feel your thoughts on the matter would be positively delightful to read
Can I just say, I would legitimately pay a ridiculous amount of money to see a Gale / Home Alone crossover movie.
Ridiculous. Amount.
But since we will never be blessed with that, let’s chat about it here!
You are absolutely correct that Gale talks about warding his tower during his confinement! He mentions it during his conversation with Tav at the tiefling party, if you question him about being lonely during his confinement:
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Now, for your ask:
The ratio of ‘practical wards’ to going full “Home Alone: Lost in Waterdeep”? I think it’d be 50% straight up barriers and 50% goofy booby traps…and honestly, I don’t think that the goofy booby traps are just a Gale thing. I think it’s a wizardly pride thing. Remember that wizard tower in the Underdark?! That guy had turrets with laser beams, an enchanted ass elevator, and a robot that needed a hug but would also kill you. Lorroakan had Ramazith’s tower set up with false portals, guards, puzzles that can disintegrate you and again, every wizard’s favorite, those damned laser beams.
I think Gale’s barriers and wards would be straightforward spells. His traps, though, I feel would be 190% more creative. And 190% more GALE, as every single trap would involve our favorite mirror image Gale popping up to say hello!
I think the barriers/wards would do fine for deterring most visitors—Gale did say he’d set up enough ‘to keep a small army at bay’—but in the event of a more persistent guest, Mirror Gale would politely provide ample (and increasingly passive-aggressive) warnings to try and persuade any visitors away:
“Hello there! You seem rather determined to make your presence known! Rest assured your visit has been noted; however, i must ask that you turn back from here. Have a lovely evening!”
“Greetings! You know, I would have thought it was quite obvious by the myriad barriers you’ve had to traverse that company is unwelcome, yet here you are! A more intelligent visitor would have likely given up by now, but it seems common sense won’t stop you, will it? No no, heaven forbid.”
“You don’t quite seem to be getting the hint. Tell me, are you often this belligerent and clueless? I shall make note not to invite you to any parties once my Tower is open to visitors once more.”
“Hello again! Ha-ha, ahh….are you quite sure you wish to proceed? I must warn you that I have been, ah, instructed to incinerate you if you go any further! Ah-ha, no hard feelings of course!”
Do I think Tara would be part of the security system? That’s a tough one, because while Tara CAN AND WILL cast a fireball with excellent accuracy when needed (as shown by the rooftop meeting if it goes sour), I think she would’ve been unable to commit to security duties due to having to go find magical Gale Dinner©️ trinkets for his consumption.
Finally, I would assume that Gale would take extra special care to ensure that all traps/wards have been deactivated when he brings his beloved Tav home—however, I could see there mayyybee being one or two missed. In which case, a quiet afternoon of Tav exploring their new home might suddenly be disrupted by a glowing Gale appearing and proclaiming, “Hello! Ah! Well—this is rather awkward, isn’t it? Despite ALL prior warnings, you have now breached my inner sanctum and sadly, must be punished for it. I shall now commence following you and reading a selection of Elminster’s teachings on the history of conjuration spells, which is sure to bore you so completely that you will long for death—”
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ophanum · 2 months ago
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can I request (i feel like more platonic but you can decide) Furious Five, Po, Master Shifu, and Tai Lung with a snow leopard who can manage to blend in snow and fog making people believe she is a ghost? it's not part of kung fu, it's her hobby to scare bandits from stealing without using violence.
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RED - ! Kung Fu Panda
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ft. Furious five, Po, Master Shifu, Redemption! Tai Lung x Snow Leopard! Reader
"Hearts on the walls, but no love in these streets. Appetite for destruction, a girl's gotta eat, yeah." - Red by Alex Boniello, Kylie Cantrall, and Walt Disney
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Po
When Po first hears about the “snow ghost” legend from the villagers, he’s beyond excited. Stories spread quickly about a mysterious snow leopard, half-seen in the mist, who frightens bandits off the mountain paths without lifting a paw. Naturally, Po assumes you’re some kind of ancient spirit and is fascinated until he finally meets you and realizes it’s all a clever act.
He becomes your biggest fan, frequently pestering you to share your “scare tactics.” His excitement is boundless, and he tries imitating your techniques, though his own approach is far from stealthy. Po’s natural enthusiasm and not-so-quiet demeanor don’t lend themselves to subtlety, but he adores being part of your adventures.
You invite him along on a patrol, and Po can barely contain his giggles when he sees the bandits running in terror at the faintest glimpse of you. He makes sure to tell everyone in the Valley about the amazing “ghost” that guards the mountain, embellishing the stories until the villagers are convinced they’re protected by a fierce spirit.
Tigress
Tigress has immense respect for your restraint. She has always valued strength and discipline, and to see someone choose to defend their home without fighting intrigues her. While her instinct leans towards direct confrontation, she appreciates your commitment to finding an alternative that’s just as effective.
Tigress becomes curious about how you blend so seamlessly with the snow and fog, watching with intense focus the first time she sees you vanish into the mist. She doesn’t say much, but she’s deeply impressed by how you combine your skills with cleverness. Although her style is distinct, she practices what she learns from observing you, eventually finding her own methods for blending into certain environments.
Though she keeps her admiration subtle, she’ll sometimes spar with you, hoping to pick up more of your quiet, calculating approach. She’s thrilled to train alongside someone who proves that power can take many forms, and she may even share some of her own techniques with you as a sign of mutual respect.
Monkey
Monkey finds your ghost act legendary. The moment he realizes you’re using stealth and strategy rather than brute force, he’s ready to become your accomplice. He admires that you’ve chosen a path without violence, turning your environment into your ally. For him, your approach has the perfect mix of humor and strategy, making it more of an art than a skill.
Eager to assist, he starts joining you on your “ghost patrols,” and his agility adds an extra element of surprise. He’ll disappear into trees or leap from cliffs to help create even more suspense, and his quick-witted ideas make him a natural partner for you. Monkey delights in watching bandits stumble over each other in fear, convinced they’ve crossed into some supernatural realm.
He brings a playful twist to your work, coming up with ideas to amplify your “haunting” presence. “Let’s create moving shadows with these branches,” he whispers one night, rigging up sticks and leaves to dance eerily in the moonlight. Thanks to Monkey, you earn a reputation as the most unpredictable ghost in the valley, and he never stops bragging about how he’s part of your “ghost crew.”
Crane
Crane is amazed by how skillfully you blend into the snow, creating the appearance of a guardian spirit without ever needing to fight. Your approach aligns with his own tendency towards gentler methods, so he quickly develops a deep admiration for your style.
As a supportive friend, he offers to be your “eyes in the sky” when you patrol. From above, he can spot bandits before they even reach the mountains, warning you of their approach with subtle calls. He becomes your quiet lookout, ensuring no one surprises you.
Sometimes, he’ll add a touch of theatricality to your ghost act, swooping down and creating mysterious gusts of wind that make you seem even more like a phantom. He enjoys the role, finding a sense of peaceful purpose in your shared mission. Crane takes to calling you the “Mist Guardian” and tells others that they should “leave a little gift” for you at the mountain's edge if they want to avoid your ghostly wrath.
Viper
Viper has a quiet admiration for your strategy and finds your methods brilliant. She respects your control and appreciates that you choose to avoid violence unless absolutely necessary. Your non-combative style resonates with her own thoughtful approach to combat.
She’s fascinated by your techniques and sometimes asks you to show her how you blend with the fog. Viper wants to learn how to incorporate this into her own martial arts, as she values the ability to move undetected when necessary. Together, you two practice silent movement and controlled breathing, honing your skills in the art of blending.
Viper becomes one of your most enthusiastic supporters and talks highly of your skills to the rest of the group. She often calls you her “mystical sister,” appreciating the unique perspective you bring to protecting the valley. She even suggests you two go on occasional “stealth missions” together, so she can see your techniques in action.
Mantis
Mantis is wildly entertained by your scare tactics. He’s all about clever strategies that make people think twice, and your ghostly presence is his idea of the perfect deterrent.
He enjoys “helping” from time to time, usually by hitching a ride on your fur and whispering in a spooky voice to add an extra layer of fright to the experience. Mantis loves watching the bandits’ reactions when they hear unexpected voices coming from seemingly nowhere.
The aftermath is Mantis’s favorite part. He’s quick to gather all the funniest details about the bandits’ reactions and shares them with the group, exaggerating for dramatic effect. He even invents legends about you, calling you the “Phantom Guardian,” and he swears he’ll write a story about the “Ghost of the Mountain” one day.
Master Shifu
Shifu has high regard for your dedication to non-violent protection, seeing it as an admirable choice that requires a deep level of discipline. He might not always show his appreciation openly, but he respects that you’ve crafted a role of defender without needing direct confrontation.
When he learns about your methods, he recognizes the skill involved in blending with the snow and fog, and he subtly encourages the rest of the Furious Five to observe and learn from your approach. To him, you embody the idea that true strength isn’t always about force, and he may even hint that you’re an example they could all learn from.
He’s quietly proud of your efforts and will sometimes watch from afar, ensuring that you’re safe on your patrols. Shifu may even thank you directly for your contributions to the valley, a rare acknowledgment from the usually reserved master. He might not show it outwardly, but he considers you one of the most resourceful protectors in the region.
Tai Lung
Tai Lung is deeply intrigued by your method of protection and fascinated by your ability to guard the valley without ever needing to fight. Coming from a background steeped in power and aggression, he’s both impressed and humbled by your approach.
If he joins you on a patrol, he’s initially silent, observing the way you weave through snow and fog with effortless grace. He finds himself drawn to the idea of protecting without force, seeing it as a form of strength he hadn’t considered before.
Tai Lung tries to follow your example, though his instincts sometimes get the better of him. He admires your patience and considers you an unlikely role model, one that challenges his view of what it means to be strong. Though he might not say it, he respects you deeply, viewing you as a kind of mentor in restraint and control.
-
The fog rolled thick over the mountainside, curling around tree trunks and swallowing rocky ledges. A faint shimmer of white slipped through the mist, moving with an unearthly stillness that no mortal could manage. From below, the valley bandits, their faces pale with fright, muttered nervously.
“Did you hear?” one whispered, gripping his spear a little tighter. “They say a ghost haunts these peaks—a spirit with fur as white as death itself.”
With a quiet chuckle, you—the snow leopard of the Valley—melted deeper into the mist, every step perfectly silent. You’d learned the art of scaring bandits away without needing to fight long ago; it was your signature way of keeping peace. Out here, the cold air carried whispers, and the fog was the perfect veil. So, you moved closer, letting your tail flick just barely into view before vanishing again.
One of the bandits gasped. “Did you see that?”
“You’re just seeing things,” his friend chided, though he took a cautious step back himself.
In another instant, you appeared again, only your sharp blue eyes showing through the fog like two frozen flames. That was enough—the two men shrieked, dropping their weapons and stumbling over one another as they bolted down the mountain path, disappearing into the trees below. You waited until you could no longer hear their footsteps, your amused smile spreading as the air around you settled back into silence.
“Wow! That was amazing!” a familiar voice cheered behind you. You turned to see Po, bouncing with excitement, a wide grin stretching across his face. “The ‘Snow Ghost’ strikes again! They didn’t stand a chance!”
You let out a soft laugh. “They’ll think twice before coming up here again, that’s for sure.”
Po was still bubbling with enthusiasm, eager to see your tactics in action up close. “That’s gotta be the coolest way of keeping people safe that I’ve ever seen! You didn’t even have to touch them!”
Just as Po finished speaking, a low growl sounded nearby. “Did you even consider if anyone might be watching?” Tigress asked as she emerged from the trees, her eyes narrowed with concern. “They were still carrying weapons.” She glanced at Po and added, “A little less cheering and they might not have noticed you.”
You gave a light nod of understanding. “True, but you’ve got to admit that scaring them off without a fight is sometimes… effective,” you offered, catching the faintest smirk that Tigress tried to hide.
“Effective,” she echoed with a nod, casting a sideways glance. “I didn’t say it wasn’t impressive.” There was something like admiration in her gaze as she continued, “Blending with your surroundings, using the mist like that… It’s a useful skill.”
A flicker of movement overhead caught your attention, and you saw Crane gliding down to perch on a low-hanging branch. “Keeping to the shadows again?” he teased lightly, settling his wings. “I’ll admit, it’s pretty remarkable what you do.” He tilted his head with a grin. “Though, if you need extra eyes from above, just give a signal. I can always scout the area.”
A spark of pride warmed your chest. These were friends who understood your quiet approach, who valued it just as much as you did. You watched as Crane spread his wings wide, demonstrating how he’d glide down to create a gust of wind that would stir the mist around you, amplifying your ghostly appearance.
“Oh! And wait, wait!” Monkey piped up, jumping in from a nearby branch, grinning as he moved his arms in sweeping, exaggerated gestures. “You could always rig up a few branches to move in the wind. I’m telling you, they’d go from scared to screaming!”
The idea made you laugh softly. Monkey’s antics often bordered on the theatrical, but his creative enthusiasm added an extra layer of fun to your mission. “I think I’ll stick with what I know works,” you replied, though you made a mental note of his ideas. Sometimes, a bit of drama worked wonders.
“Now, now, let’s not get carried away,” Master Shifu’s voice came from behind you, the red panda giving a thoughtful look over the group. “Though, I must admit,” he said, glancing up at you with respect, “what you do is unique—and honorable. Protecting the Valley without harm… there’s something admirable in that choice.”
You felt a swell of pride at Shifu’s words. Shifu, though reserved, valued wisdom over brute strength, and that was exactly what you hoped to embody. As he watched, you melted back into the fog to demonstrate, turning your head just enough for your pale blue eyes to peer back out before you fully disappeared into the mist.
“I think she’s trying to show off now,” Mantis muttered playfully, crossing his tiny arms.
“Show off?” Tai Lung’s voice cut in, his tone one of mild intrigue. He’d arrived quietly, his towering form blending into the shadows. His eyes held an intensity as he watched you, though not with his former fury. Since his redemption, Tai Lung had taken to observing and appreciating non-violent approaches, curious about a strength that was more restraint than force. He inclined his head, his gaze softened. “There’s wisdom in a fight avoided. Perhaps it’s a lesson I should’ve learned long ago.”
Tai Lung’s quiet acknowledgment was unexpected, and you inclined your head in a brief bow of mutual respect. In a rare moment of vulnerability, Tai Lung admitted, “You’ve shown that power doesn’t always mean force. I think… that’s something I should remember.”
Just as he finished, Po let out an amused sigh. “Oh, come on, Tai Lung! You know that everyone’s just impressed by the legendary ‘Snow Ghost.’” He grinned, looking around at the group as he continued, “Just imagine, if I’d seen her out here on my first visit to the Valley, I’d have been toast!”
“Don’t give her any ideas,” Tigress replied dryly, though a hint of a smile tugged at her lips.
Before the group could continue, Crane’s sharp eyes spotted movement below. Another group of bandits approached the valley entrance, clearly unaware of the fate of the others before them.
“Another set already?” Mantis asked, exasperated. “What do they think is going to happen?”
You exchanged a determined look with your friends and wordlessly vanished back into the mist. Po and the others watched in awe as you moved forward, your fur nearly disappearing against the snowy backdrop.
Watching from above, your friends saw the bandits’ eyes widen with dread as you emerged like a phantom, appearing just close enough for them to glimpse your icy stare. You allowed the fog to gather around you, lingering in view just long enough for them to understand the warning in your eyes. In seconds, the bandits took off, their courage gone, scattering back down the mountain in a hurry.
When you returned, the group was ready with quiet applause. Even Tai Lung nodded in admiration. “That,” he said, “is how to inspire fear without lifting a finger.”
“I think it’s more than fear,” Shifu noted thoughtfully, glancing up at you. “It’s a way of reminding others that sometimes the strongest power is the gentlest hand.”
Po clapped you on the back with a grin. “I think we can all agree—the Valley’s got the best ‘ghost’ in the land. Who needs a fight when they have you?”
And as the mist wrapped around you once more, a sense of quiet satisfaction settled over the mountains. You’d protected the valley again, keeping peace with a bit of stealth, some clever tricks, and a loyal family who believed in the strength of a peaceful heart.
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and-so-he-rambled · 7 months ago
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Gotham Rogue Vlad Masters Part three - The Library
Master list | Part 1 | Part 4
The sun didn’t really shine in Gotham, but the kids soaked up the meager bit peeking through the clouds. Vlad had a child on each side, hands held tightly as they walked. Vlad had memorized the maps as much as he could, having never found the place he was looking for on foot before. It was much easier to fly, but the kids needed the exercise and the practice to blend in.
Jazz was doing wonderfully, expression guarded and dangerous. He’d insisted she left the thievery to him, but he watched her slide a wallet into her pocket after brushing against a passing stranger. It made a twisted part of him proud.
Daniel on the other hard was doing terribly, unable to hide his joy and waving at everyone they passed by. He stood out, tugging on Vlad’s hand and trying to run off at every pigeon and rat he saw scurrying by. Vlad tried to squeeze his hand in warning, but Daniel just squeezed it back and let out a happy chirp. His breath was coming out misty even in the mild weather, making Vlad second guess himself on bringing him out. Daniel was still developing and had lots of ghost mishaps, but he was getting fed up with being cooped up all the time. Vlad had a feeling that if he didn’t bring Daniel outside already he would have just phased through the wall and gone on his own adventure.
The finally reached the library, a grand and towering old building. He held the kids hands tightly as they walked inside, bypassing the help desk and trying to seem like they belonged there. He mapped out the exits and cameras sparsely places along the ceilings. There would definitely be eyes on the computer area, but shouldn’t be as many in the children’s section. He hated the kids being on camera at all, but with Daniel’s thick winter hat and a scarf covering Jas’s lower face he hoped they would be safe. He knew the picture around Danny and Jazz would likely be fuzzy since they didn’t know how to repress their abilities like he did. Hopefully no one would look close enough to notice. He concentrated his aura around his face to keep his blurry as well, but just a little.
He squatted down to eye level with the kids once they were mostly out of view.
“Jazz, watch Daniel.” He hated to put all the responsibility on her shoulders, but they both knew the boy would run off. “Get a book for yourself too, we can sneak out a few when he leave. We’ll bring them back once we read them.” He assured Danny with the last part, ruffling the kid’s hair.
“Can I read about the stars?” Danny asked with wide eyes, green swirling in blue.
“Sure thing, Daniel.”
“Danny!” The raven haired boy stomped his foot, pouting something fierce. He was rather insistent on the nickname. Vlad preferred Daniel, but he would relent to let the child have some normality in his life with all the big changes.
“Ah, yes. Danny.” He sent the two off, trusting Jazz to keep them both safe as he found the computers.
The more he learned about Gotham the stranger it became. He knew crime ran rampant in the city, but this was beyond what he’d imagined. He could use this to his advantage.
He still had less than reputable contacts from when he’d just started committing crimes to start up his own company, and it’s wouldn’t be hard to get back into old habits. He would need to keep Plasmius a secret though, too noticeable as a ghost. He couldn’t rock the GIW sniffing around, so he had to do this the old fashioned way. He’s still use his powers of course, but subtly. It wasn’t as if metas didn’t exist, even if the bat didn’t want them in his city.
He was researching the art scene of Gotham when his pocket buzzed, the rudimentary device in his pocket getting an sos from Jazz.
He stood, trying to keep himself from panicking as he searched for his charges. He could feel them in the building still, his core latching on to the echo of Daniel’s core and Jazz’s ectoplasm.
He rounded a corner, shoulders sagging in relief once he saw both kids unharmed. They were in what seemed to be the children’s reading nook, with cartoon animals painted on the walls and beanbags instead of chairs.
Daniel was in a lady’s lap, a book open as he pointed and explained what stars were to her. The woman was in a wheelchair, eyebrows raised a confused smile on her face. She was a redhead, a much fiercer red than Maddie and Jazz’s orange.
“Dad!” Jazz yelled loudly as he approached, making his core burn hot in his chest. He managed to keep his stride unbroken, hiding his flinch with a smile.
“Jasmine! Find anything good to read?” He greeted her cheerily, letting her grab his hand. She squeezed out an sos, smile strained. Her eyes were pure ice as she stared down the lady holding her brother, not an ounce of trust.
“Not much, Danny was just telling Ms. Barbara all about space.” Jazz’s eyes were pleading as they turned to him, palm sweaty and shaking against his.
“I’m so sorry about him.” Vlad apologized, slipping into fake cheer like a second skin. The galas he’d attended when his company was starting out had been full of people he had to lie to. It had been a big change from being a college geek with no social life, but Vlad Masters did nothing if not persist.
He plucked the boy from the lady’s lap, holding him tight as Danny whined and squirmed, bony limbs flailing.
“Vlaaaaad.” Danny whined, chirping angrily as Vlad stiffened. He was glad humans couldn’t hear ghost speak.
Jazz laughed awkwardly, elbowing Danny’s dangling leg.
“That speech impediment of yours, still can’t pronounce dad.” Her lie wasn’t as smooth as his, smile tight and a tad too sharp.
“Was just telling ‘er about stars and planets. I can’t read the words yet so I needed help.”
“Why couldn’t you ask your sister?”
Danny shook his head, black mop of hair falling in his eyes.
“She was reading her own book.”
Jazz looked at the floor in shame. A book way thicker than most six year olds could read was on the beanbag.
“I see. Well, say goodbye to the nice lady.” He gave Barbara a fake smile, tugging Jazz’s hand.
Ms. Barbara looked confused, holding up the book on stars Daniel had been showing her.
“Your books, would you like me to help you check them out?” She held out the big book of space Danny had been showing her, the boy beginning to squirm and reach for it. She wasn’t aware that they didn’t exist yet, and thus couldn’t check out books.
“We’ll come back another day!” He assured her, already walking out with the kids. Daniel was whining something fierce and Jazz looked miserable, not the outing he wanted.
He ducked into an alley and flew them back to the home base. They needed the exercise but Daniel was struggling he didn’t want to eyes on them, so flying back was easier.
Danny was crying, shaking as he tried to hold in a tantrum.
Jazz hadn’t met his eyes since they left the library.
“Jazz, dear. You alerted me in time. He didn’t say anything that could give us away, did he?” Vlad was pretty sure that, if it came to it to protect the kids, he would kill a bystander.
Jazz shook her head, teary blue eyes meeting his.
“No, just talked about space. I didn’t hear her until Danny was already in her lap! What if she took him! Stupid! Stupid!” The redhead slammed her fists against her head, chest heaving as tears escaped her tightly shut eyes and cascaded down her red cheeks.
Vlad grabbed her wrists, holding them still as she squirmed and fought him before collapsing into his arms in a fit of tears. He hadn’t seen her cry since her parents deaths, always only hearing it faintly at night.
Jazz sobbed in his arms, her tears spurning Danny to start sobbing as well. Vlad ached down to the core, gathering both kids in his arms and kneeling on the floor with them until his legs were numb. He felt his own eyes traitorously burn, perhaps from the sadness of his fraid effecting him, or just stress creeping up. He forced it away with hard blinks, he didn’t have time for that.
He really had no idea what he was doing, but he had to keep doing it because this was the only way to keep the kids safe. They couldn’t have normal lives, he had to remember that. They were monsters to the government, the kids wouldn’t be safe in the system with a good family, there were stuck with him.
They cried themselves out, both sagged against him and dozing with the occasional hiccup. It was easy to carry them both to bed, almost natural. He wondered if, in another life, he could have had a family of his own. It was for the best he hadn’t thought, that he’d been able to let go of his life to keep the kids safe. He barely found himself missing the castle he’d loved so much, so focused on the fact they were alive, mostly. He’d grieve it more later, the place in the world he’d made his own after years of hospitals and clawing his way up in life, but for now it was enough to be safe.
He tucked the kids in to the king bed they’d claimed, body aching in new ways as he dragged a chair over. He could keep a double for a while, but he didn’t trust a double to stand watch, so he prepared himself for another long night. He knew he needed sleep desperately, but he couldn’t risk it. Instead he sent a copy to the library to steal the books the kids had been reading along with a few books for himself.
He managed to read through a book on parenting traumatized children by light of ecto blast before the sun rose, hiding it in the wall with the other books he’d chosen so Jazz wouldn’t read them and try to be more grown up than she had to be. She’d taken on a parental role with Danny and he was forced to let her even though every book he read said it was bad for her development. He wanted her to be a kid, but he needed her help to keep Danny safe and out of trouble.
He was going to have to start stealing again soon, and that meant Jazz would have to step up even more to watch Danny while he was gone. He could go at night while they slept, but then they would be unguarded. It was quite the dilemma. But still, Vlad Masters persists. He’d once been a lab rat building new equipment on a diet of energy drinks and ramen, he could manage to make a security system to keep two kids safe.
He made a plan to go dump hunting, he could maybe bring the kids along if he scouted it out first. He would steal a proper laptop and fancy tech once he was better prepared, but they would make do with scraps right now.
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