#I need help after rediscovering this cringe

[delusionaldoppelsoldner]

I found some old files I threw into a random folder, after I downloaded them to my phone I was hit with this youjo senki piece:

Please help me, it's so old I still didn't know how to shade, properly differentiate skin tones or even draw hair (that's still the same).

On the other hand I now have other files I've been meaning to finish for games like Gladihoppers and Worldbox so, yay for the not gay projects too I guess.

[whirlybirbs]

— BURNER CELL ; 2 ; DABI ; 荼毗

summary: after a week of silence, you finally text dabi. pairing: dabi / f!reader ; quirkless word count: 1.3k tag: humor, maladjusted dabi meets normal adult woman, flirting, canon-based world building, cancer mention, texting as a plot device, slight au, univeristy student!reader a/n: this stole all my concentration. siri play emo boy by ayesha erotica ← previous | the tag

It's the kind of week where, aside from class, human interaction isn't really on life's setlist. 

It's also the kind of week where you rediscover making a meal of raw cookie dough straight from the package. Your econ textbook might have a stranglehold on you, but you make enough time to scarf down a few globs between chapters — after all, who needs protein or fiber when you're sure this five-year master's program will kill you first?

Your head hurts.

You slump against the counter, refilling your water bottle. 

It's late now — and you can feel the quiet woes beginning to wane as you blink at the clock. By now, your friends are probably on their second or third drinks. You turned the invite down when they asked yesterday. Nuri tugged on your sweater sleeve and pouted the best pout she could manage, but you didn't budge. 

I've gotta finish this paper, I'm sorry, Nur'. 

You roll your jaw as you shut the faucet off, wandering to your freezer to wrangle some cubes from the tray. You bend it slowly, deep in thought. A few pop out, and you idly drop them into your water bottle with a twang. 

You're staring at your phone. It's by your computer on the counter. 

...You never did text Dabi. 

You told yourself it was for the best — after all, you weren't looking for a catastrophic derailment of your life at the moment. Things are good. You're two semesters away from finishing University, your family's bakery back in Kyoto is doing well, and Dad's chemotherapy seems to be working. Things are good! It's almost fall, you've managed to stick to your monthly budget, and Mizu settled in happily to your new apartment. 

No four-day poop strike like the last time you moved.

The large tuxedo cat in question ambles through the kitchen — brushing against your leg and letting out a long, low mrrooow. 

Things are great! 

You shouldn't text Dabi.

But... even if you did, it's not like it'd be the end of the world, right?

Wait, could he figure out where you lived from your number...?

You could use one of those anonymous texting services. Then, it wouldn't even be your number. Just some fake string of digits that allow you to satiate the bizarre curiosity that's been swirling in your head for the last week. 

You're sure the novelty will wear off. 

He's probably not even going to respond. 

You're telling yourself this is stupid as you begin to set up an account with the service �� the app boasts privacy, andunlimited calls and texts... You can't help but feel a little strange as you finalize your account. 

It's done.

You import his contact with two taps and stare at the blank screen. 

...Now what?

Are you really going to do this? I mean — he's a wanted criminal. He's a member of the League of Villains. If anyone ever found out you were in contact with him, you'd be toast. You'd have All Might kicking your door in and demanding to look through your phone and that mental image is enough to make you cringe. Say goodbye to your degree, goodbye toyour future as Sakura Flour's owner, and goodbye to freedom. You're sure the Safety Commission would place you on some watch list for the rest of your life, and frankly, your tweets are already questionable. You don't need more scrutiny. 

...So, there are two options. 

Delete his number and move on... or don't get caught. 

You shouldn't text Dabi.

...But, you do.

Truth be told, he isn't shocked to see that cute Nuri girl hanging on Giran's arm again. The Broker seems pretty into her — the guy even mentioned something about taking her to a nice dinner during the week as a congrats on passing some big test. Dabi can't blame him. She's cute. Looks good in red. Not his type, but he can appreciate it from time to time.

However, Dabi is a little shocked that you're not a part of the group cheering in Giran's VIP section. There's bottle service being ordered, laughter, dancing, and a gaggle of pretty, five college girls — and none of them are you. 

His lips twist into a scowl. 

He decides he's leaving; his piss-poor drink is tossed back, and he dumps a bill down for the bartender before tugging his hood up and sucking his teeth. 

He never liked this club anyway.

He's crossing the threshold of the back door, stepping into the damp and dark alley, when the phone in his back pocket buzzes. Someone's smoking a Marlboro by the dumpster. The familiar smell makes Dabi's fingers twitch. 

He's tryna quit.

He tugs the phone from his pocket, no longer bothered by the splintered glass screen. His battery is at 13%. This fuckin' thing barely holds a charge anymore. 

The number on the screen isn't one he knows.

Dabi's passcode is unnecessarily long. His phone clicks open as he narrows his eyes and shambles towards the opening in the alley. He doesn't know this number. He has everyone's cell memorized that he needs. Shigaraki, Toga, Spinner, Jin, Compress, even Giran. He doesn't keep contacts. Doesn't work when he's ditching phones all the time. He's got his noggin. That's good enough.

The text is one word:

hi.

Dabi's squinting at the text when another buzzes through. 

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:48pm sorry, this is bar girl

→ dabi ; 11:46pm thought u were never gonna txt me ur girlie nuri is here where r u

There's no way.

Your phone buzzes three times from its far place where it sits face down on the counter — you just walked away from it, hellbent on distracting yourself while you waited out the potential reply. You go rigid in your kitchen. 

Did he seriously text you back immediately?

You purse your lips, then slink towards the phone. It buzzes again.

→ dabi ; 11:47pm c'mon don't leave me hangin pretty

Your eyes are wide as you stare at the string of replies. He has read receipts turned on like the psychopath he is. 

You lean back against the counter, chewing your cuticle as you let out a ragged sigh. Nuri is with him? Or... No, they said they were going to that club you hate. 

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:4pam oh, are they at the bar?‎

Dabi's fingers move fast.

→ dabi ; 11:49pm nah in downtown club tropical or whatever the fuck it's called

You snort a little.

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:49pm i hate that place. their drinks suck.

Dabi has started making his way back to their hideout — back to the shit box apartments they're renting above Kurogiri's bar. He's slow, idly texting as he weaves through the crowds of nightlife in Kamino Ward. 

→ dabi ; 11:50pm a girl after my own heart where r u ur dodging my question u on a date or smthng????

He's insistent, you'll give him that. You cross your legs as you lean back against the laminate counter and chew the inside of your lip.

He's typing. It starts, then stops, then starts again. 

When you start typing, the bubble disappears. 

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:50pm nah, got a huge paper to finish uni student, remember? sorry to disappoint 

→ dabi ; 11:51pm ur missin out giran got bottle service  him and nuri looked cozy

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:51pm not shocked she thinks she can fix him

→ dabi ; 11:51pm ooooo love when that happens poor girl

Typing... 

Typing...

→ dabi ; 11:51pm u think u can fix me? :p

The emoji makes your face break into a smile — it's so... not what you expected. 

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:52pm nah i'm not stupid

→ dabi ; 11:52pm just busy.... really lame of u tbh coulda been fun

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:52pm wasting cash on mid drinks is the opposite of fun

→ dabi ; 11:52pm i meant seeing me

Oh, what the fuck.

Why does that text make your face feel hot? Why does that text make you feel like you're not texting the League of Villain's #1 Arsonist, but some cute boy from class? He's not a cute boy from class. He's a danger to society. 

You're glad you don't have the opportunity to reply. Your phone is buzzing in your hands, the haptic feedback lighting the neurons in your brain on fire.  

→ dabi ; 11:53pm gtg phone is gonna die have fun with ur paper u loser hope u get a good grade or whatever i'll txt u later

You shouldn't have texted Dabi.

But you did. 

[imtrashraccoon]

Been looking forward to this all month! I rediscovered that it is very hard to write spicy stuff while listening to a classic Markiplier video...everything hurts from laughing now. Side note, did anyone else watch the most recent Lackadaisy short "Stratagem"? It's pretty much unrelated to this chapter but I thought it was funny!

@owl-bones

First Day, Previous Day, & Next Day.

Bad Sansuary: Free Space - Glow

Word Count: 2,886

Feat. Dust & Nightmare!

The castle was absolutely massive and while you'd explored quite a bit of it, you had the feeling you'd only scratched the surface. Pretty much every room was massive and filled with expensive furniture. You basically felt like you were a mouse that broke into a mansion and was adopted by its occupants.

Your bedroom had a queen size bed, a fireplace, a small but comfortable couch, at least a dozen different pillows and blankets, a walk in closet, and even an on-suite bathroom. The whole room felt larger than your entire apartment had been and it was all yours.

You hadn't left your room, let alone your bed for several days, except when you had to look after your human needs. At first, Nightmare hadn't let anyone bother you, but after the first day and once you'd recovered from the shock, he eventually allowed the others to come visit you.

You were pretty sure there had been an argument over who would get to see you first but ultimately, Axe was your first visitor. You didn't know how that had come about and you were too exhausted to ask. He practically fussed over you like a mother hen, except it was even worse than when you were sick. You weren't complaining yet though, as you'd really missed him. He took it upon himself to make sure you were never hungry and seemed to always have something he wanted you to try.

Killer was next, which you weren't surprised about in the slightest. He seemed to be up to his usual antics, although slightly toned down because you were bed bound. He tried out a bunch of new jokes, all of which ranged from unfunny to cringe inducing, but you'd be lying if you said you hated it. He also was a lot more touchy than usual, although it was in an affectionate rather than sleazy way.

You saw very little of Dust though, which was a bit strange, but not unusual for him. He always had acted kind of distant with you but had warmed up over your time knowing each other. Unfortunately, now he seemed like he had regressed significantly and was avoiding you. Then, you woke up in the middle of the night one time with him sitting on the floor against your bed, holding your hand and tracing small circles over your knuckles. He seemed rather embarrassed when he realized he'd woken you up but you couldn't be upset with him. At least he'd come by a few times when you were actually awake since.

Today you'd decided to try to do some reading to distract yourself. It seemed like you were adjusting well to this new environment but you weren't sleeping well on your own. You kept getting flashbacks of the day your world broke down and nearly had to beg Nightmare to help. Whatever he'd done had been effective since you were sleeping without any bad dreams, although you weren't getting any dreams either, or at least you couldn't remember if you were.

Nightmare had a massive library and easily hundreds of books that he had collected from various worlds over...however long he'd been alive. You'd never asked how old any of the boys were actually, let alone him. There was also plenty of cozy seating in the library and even a couple of nooks you could hide in if you didn't want to be bothered.

You had sat down in the main seating area today with the first of high fantasy series that Nightmare had personally recommended. It was a change of pace from your usual literature but change was good. It helped keep your mind off of...everything.

The issue was that you weren't able to concentrate on any of the words and had to restart a chapter multiple times with no luck. At some point you found yourself staring into the soft glowing flame of a candle that you certainly hadn't lit when you sat down here.

There wasn't anything you could have done to save your world and you knew that it wasn't the boys' fault that the world code had become unstable. The way Nightmare explained it, once Monsterkind was freed from the Underground, the story had run its course. Essentially, it was only a matter of time before everything broke down like that.

You still felt awful about it though. You wished with all your soul that you could've saved others or even prevented the destruction entirely. You understood quite clearly now what people who survived horrible accidents where lots of other people died felt like.

Hearing someone scuff their shoes across the carpet, you looked over sharply to basically come face to face with Dust. He had a concerned look on his skull, although it quickly morphed into one of relief when you made eye contact with him.

"are you okay?" he asked.

You grimaced and looked away. "I've...been better..." you murmured.

He sat down next to you and wrapped an arm over your shoulders in a slightly tentative side hug. "i'm not good at the whole comfort thing..." he muttered in your ear. "so just tell me if i'm being a nuisance, okay?"

You nodded but remained silent. He was selling himself sort in your personal opinion as just being there for someone was still a valid form of comfort. So what if he didn't make you food or make jokes to cheer you up?

After several quiet minutes, he gave your shoulder a light squeeze. "would a distraction help? we could play some chess if you want?"

"Sure, why not? So long as you give me a sporting chance anyways."

He chuckled and his mismatched eyelights seemed to flicker with untold thoughts of mischief. "i can't promise that but i'll try, bean. i'll be back with the game in a sec." He stood up and teleported away before you could retort.

You rolled your eyes at no one in particular and put your abandoned book away. You'd have to try reading it another time it seemed.

Dust reappeared a few seconds later with a small box and an intricate game board tucked under one arm. He started to set up the game on the coffee table and you quickly realized that this was the most beautiful Chess set you'd ever seen. The pieces seemed to be made of polished ivory and all had gold detailing. You weren't sure if the board itself was also ivory or something else like marble, but it was just as beautiful as the pieces were.

"It's gorgeous..." you whispered.

He nodded, "i got it recently since i enjoyed playing the game with you so much. i haven't had anyone to play with though..."

You couldn't help but frown as he sat down next to you again. "The others don't like Chess?"

"nah, axe has no interest as there's too much to focus on and killer can't sit still for more than two seconds to even try." He scratched the side of his skull before adding, "i haven't actually asked nightmare, but i don't know if he'd even be interested when he's so busy all the time."

You hummed thoughtfully as the game began. Dust had assigned the white pieces to you for seemingly no particular reason, not that you minded as it just meant you got to go first.

The game went on a lot longer than you thought it would. Compared to the last time you'd played, he didn't seem to be trying to win, or at least not actively trying. He wasn't resorting to making obviously bad moves though, so you didn't feel like he was babying you at least. Still, you weren't about to give him a pass just because he was being nice. No, you were playing to win.

At some point during that game, you saw Dust glance over at something out of the corner of your eye. When you looked up though, you realized that Nightmare had entered the library at some point and was now watching the both of you play. Maybe he was interested in Chess afterall? With the way his cyan eyelight was studying how the pieces moved across the board, you felt inclined to believe that he was.

If Dust was bothered by having an audience, he didn't act like it and just continued to play as if nothing was different. You were less successful at doing so as you couldn't help but wonder if Nightmare would think less of you if you made a silly mistake. He didn't make any teasing comments, or any comments really, until Dust inevitably won the game.

"Would either of you be willing to let me play a round?" Nightmare asked, glancing between you and Dust.

You shrugged and glanced over at Dust, only to catch the briefest glance of his surprised expression before he carefully masked it again.

He nodded and started to set up the pieces again. "sure, if you really want to." He glanced at you with a silent question on his metaphorical lips that you answered with a small nod.

You didn't mind tapping out for a game if it meant you'd get to see two of your friends mentally duke it out. So, you scooted a bit closer to Dust in order to make room for Nightmare on the couch, which left you sitting between both skeletons.

Dust finished setting up the pieces, interestingly with the white ones facing him this time, and glanced at Nightmare. "we were just playing for fun earlier, so what are the stakes?" His tone was quiet but there was an underlying competitive edge to it now too.

Nightmare got an intrigued expression on his face and he tapped his clavicle thoughtfully. His gaze turned to you and he gave you a look that could only be described as devious. "I can sense that you're feeling down, my dear. So," he looked over at Dust as his grin widened, "why don't we play for who gets to cuddle with the human?"

"What...?" You could feel your cheeks grow rather warm at the idea, although a small part of you almost leapt for joy. "You can't be serious?"

Dust didn't even hesitate and his eyelights seemed to burn brighter with determination. "deal," he confirmed and moved his first piece.

Nightmare chuckled quietly and gave you a suggestive look, which only served to fluster you further. You really had no preference on who won, although Nightmare was quite good at cuddling, while Dust generally seemed a bit adverse to most physical contact. You just hoped that whoever lost wouldn't be too upset by it.

It quickly became apparent that Dust was actually trying to win and he wasn't pulling the intellectual punches. You could tell that Nightmare knew how to play but that he seemed a bit rusty. He wasn't a bad player by any means, he probably could beat you anyways, but he seemed to be forgetting to utilize quite a few of his pieces when it mattered most.

As such, you weren't surprised when Dust managed to win. You saw it coming several turns in advance once he'd captured most of Nightmare's useful pieces, especially because his smile grew wider the longer it went on.

When he'd finally managed to corner Nightmare's king, he smirked at you and slid an arm around your waist, tugging you closer to him. You let him and couldn't help but giggle when he did so. You admittedly teased Nightmare a little bit by sticking out your tongue, although he didn't seem too put off.

"How about a rematch?" he asked Dust.

"sure."

The two skeletons played again with Dust winning once again. He chuckled and his smile became more cocky now.

You were suitably impressed with his skill and gave him a congratulatory pat on the arm. He had other ideas though and gently tilted your chin so you'd look at him again. He then pressed a chaste kiss against your lips before releasing you.

While you hadn't expected Dust to go that far, you would be lying if you said you didn't like it. When you glanced at Nightmare though, your heart did a little somersault.

He wore a neutral expression on his skull and if it weren't for the way his left eye socket was narrowed slightly, you wouldn't have known he was frustrated. Whether it was from losing twice in a row, the way Dust was now obviously taunting him, or both, you couldn't tell. Although, you could tell that despite his outwardly cool demeanor, there was a layer of danger lurking underneath the surface.

"Let's go again," he said quietly.

Dust shrugged and set up the board again. "sure, if you're willing to lose again," he teased.

The tension was palpable between them as the game began. You noticed Nightmare seemed to be ultra focused this time and moved his pieces a bit slower so he could be sure he wasn't making a foolish decision.

You didn't want him to actually get upset if he lost again. It was obvious that Dust wasn't going easy on him though, so what could you do?

Between turns, you got a bit of a cheeky idea. You started with snuggling a bit closer to Dust and lightly running your fingers over his ribcage through his shirt. At first, he didn't seem to really notice what you were doing but when he did, he gently squeezed your waist and nuzzled against your forehead.

You kept this up until both of them were down to only a half dozen pieces each. You then pulled away slightly which got Dust's attention.

"You're practically glowing," you whispered, although it was loud enough that even Nightmare could hear.

Dust blinked and got a confused look on his skull. He stared at you, trying to figure out what you really meant, but you noticed he seemed to be getting a little flustered if the soft violet glow that began to colour his cheekbones was anything to go by.

You were doing your damn best to keep a straight face and maintain your oblivious air. It was getting really hard but you hadn't sucked up to a crappy boss for years to slack off now.

You lightly traced his clavicle with a finger and tilted your head curiously. Glancing up at his face again, you murmured, "I haven't seen you this happy before... It looks good on you."

He still seemed confused but your sincerity must've been very effective and he actually smiled more genuinely at you. He moved some of your hair behind your ear and started to lean closer when Nightmare cleared his non-existent throat.

"It's your turn..." he hissed.

Dust huffed and shot him an annoyed look. Nightmare just crossed his arms and stared passively back, although you could see the tips of his tentacles twitching with irritation.

Dust quickly scanned the board and used his magic to shift his last pawn ahead a square. "there, happy?" he grumbled.

Nightmare studied the board for a moment before nodding. You noticed the edges of his smile seemed to twitch and his restless tentacles suddenly went stock still.

"Quite," he hummed and slid his only remaining bishop across the board. "I believe that is checkmate."

Dust stiffened and Nightmare's grin only grew more smug the longer he scanned the board. Finally, he sighed and ran a hand down his face.

"yeah, you win..." he muttered.

You let out a breath you didn't realize you'd been holding when neither of them got angry. With a soft chuckle, you rubbed reassuring circles into Dust's shoulder blades with your fingers.

"Hey, it's okay, you had a good run..."

He turned to you and narrowed his eye sockets. "you purposely distracted me," he grumbled.

You shrugged, "Maybe, but I only told you the truth." While you were trying your best to remain the perfect picture of innocent, you knew Dust that could see through you.

Nightmare hummed and beckoned for you to come closer with one of his claws. "I believe you belong over here now, my dear," he almost purred.

You smiled and shifted over to sit with him. To your surprise, he wrapped his tentacles around your entire body and pulled you into his lap. His claws pressed into your skin in a possessive way and he nuzzled his face into your hair as well.

Your face felt like it was on fire and you ducked to try and hide your embarrassment. Nightmare seemed to take great pleasure in the effect he was having on you, if the little amused chuckle he let out was anything to go by.

Dust's face was strained with annoyance but when you caught his eye, he smirked. "that's what you get for being a tease," he remarked. He did seem a little disappointed that Nightmare was giving you so much attention but at least he wasn't mad.

He looked over at Nightmare and his mismatched eyelights took on a competitive glint once again. "want to go another round?" he asked.

Nightmare pretended to think for a moment before nodding. "Of course." He hugged you a bit tighter and added, "I think I like playing this game..."

You were going to be stuck here for a while...

[xxamacha-tsukixx]

why I joined tumblr (full story)

TW VENT

I had been bullied since a young age when I went to middle school I kinda became mentally insane there when I was there ppl would always bully me cuz of my looks,”weird things” and I do stuff that are “weird to them” I had very few friends and they ended up bullying me physically(mostly mentally tho) (dw they dnt hurt me just push me ,throw things at me and stuff) I never went to a counselor or got mental help because my parents are pretty strict and they get mad at me for the smallest things and ever since I told my parents why _ they would get mad at me which made me not tell them stuff anymore and I matter what I do they always manage to find out (one time when I was 9 I had two friends who were jealous to who which one is my bff and we went to a counselor and stuff and my parents found out and blamed it on me saying I was the one jealous ever since that when I do something “wrong” my parents would always blame me but one day I just had this thought if I became famous maybe people would accept me and why I chose gacha as my passion is because 1. I’m not good at art and I refuse to be one of those cringe kids to make rly cringe vids lol 2. I heard of it when I was 8(cuz of fnaf lol) my parents made leave the internet game I had acces to gacha and stuff when I was 9 but when I got my phone I rediscovered it:D but first I needed ocs after that I kinda just forgot abt that but during winter break I wanted to make art for fun and fame but I’m not good so I tried to do a anime art generator(I didn’t realized it was wrong until the future lol) but then I discovered picrews I did my first one and it was fun I wanted to make my friends as certain characters as human wolves cuz I got interested in wolves lol then I found more picrews so I did the same thing for them lol but then I found out abt this anime dress up game(forgot the name lol) so I did it for them and that’s when I got their names I was going to do fancy words for their colors but I did it but I used it in japanese since I was interested in anime recently now I got my ocs I recreated them in gacha and I made a few vids for fun meanwhile at school the ppl there still bullied me and I was pissed for the last time so I started social media to take another step I didn’t wanted to get payed on YouTube so I didn’t do that for a while so I did Pinterest instead but I couldn’t figure out how to make posts or videos so I tried to find substitutes and turns out tumblr was one of them so quickly created an account and got started one day my friend told the ppl abt my tumblr and they tricked me (I was dumb lol) to asking me my tumblr user and they saw it and they bullied me for being a gacha person since but that didn’t stopped me as I progressed, made recent posts, tried to make my ocs look better, edit better and have good vids and here I am today as I will take my next big step soon

And with the bullying thing I left that school and got a fresh start on a new school it’s only a little bad but the ppl have no idea abt my interest on gacha(except for a few ppl but they support me) but I feel bad for leaving my bff the only one there who loved gacha just as I do but I am mean towards some people there because it’s hard to trust certain people cuz they remind me of my bullies which made me have trust issues

[kyokoenthusiast]

❤️🥳💌

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

This is a difficult one, so I suppose it's good to start with that. I'm not my best with creative writing, and I don't have the freshest memory of everything I've ever written, but let's see.

Off the top of my head, I would say that the line "However grim her future might be, she only hoped it was the right thing," from the very end of Chapter 9: The Right Thing in AFOD (spoilers below for it).

That chapter is likely my favorite thus far, and this line specifically kinda encapsulates the very idea of it. The struggle of wanting to be a better person, a feeling that anything is better than your current path. "The right thing" is a destination Byleth seeks that's left ambiguous and without detail. There's no exact goal, just a desire of self-acceptance.

She believes herself dead, and as long as that is better for everyone, she's willing to go. It's unhealthy, of course, but she doesn't know that. Her perception of morality is rather immature at the time. The flashback at the beginning attempts to communicate that. It's simplistic. Black and white. But the desire to be better, to do what's right, is relatable.

🥳 Why did you start writing fanfic?

The first thing I ever wrote was fanfiction, actually. Though, that thing needs to stay buried in the mountains of paper it's currently under. I don't say that because I found my early teens to be cringe or whatever (it was), but because of dialogue and topics that I find morally reprehensible today. Nothing too egregious, but also nothing anyone needs to see, nor am I comfortable sharing.

I rediscovered fanfic after getting my most severe hyperfixation ever with FE3H. At the time I had been writing and revising the same original story for almost a decade and after a year of stagnation after binging the Edeleth tag, I had so much inspiration that I just had to write something with these two women.

Reading and writing fanfic honestly should've made me realize I was gay a lot sooner, but I'm the most fucking oblivious person on the planet, lol.

💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?

I haven't written it specifically, but I have a guilty pleasure with amnesiac stories. Something to do with a fantasy of a clean slate protagonist who attempts to overcome their past misdeeds. The stark contrast of their past and present self is fun to see, and when their past self bleeds a little into the present, it can just be simply entertaining. It does forgo a lot of slow character development, but there's just something about someone's metaphorical mask being forcibly removed, not just to other people, but themselves, that is... almost euphoric? Freeing? It's difficult to describe, I suppose.

Though, as for something I've written myself? I suppose the modern AU setting would be my most common trope. I enjoy the setting immensely. It's relatable and much more tangible than others. That's not to discount other settings such as fantasy and sci-fi btw. Hell, I wouldn't be here right now if not for my favorite fantasy lesbian couple.

But like, imagine the rough feeling of asphalt on your bare feet, the mushy snow collecting near a curb, the heavy heated air of a heater in the middle of winter, the sound of a running car on the side of an isolated road, the smell of a cigarette passing by in the air.

These are things most of us are intimately familiar with, something we've felt before, and that familiarity helps descriptions and scenes feel that much more real, gritty, and tangible. And that's just something I like to portray. Romanticizing the day-to-day.

I'm rambling. I just don't wanna spend 3 hours researching sword stances, strategy, and trying to figure out what century is a good reference for Fodlan. (I'm joking. I feel like I should note that.)

[kissmywookiee]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

tagged by @novasforce, @notyouraveragesofia, @coffee-and-uhg, and @sigelfire. Thanks for the tag! :)

are you named after anyone?

My mother named me after a character on a local soap she watched when she was on mat leave. Somewhat cringe!

2. when was the last time you cried?

I honestly can’t remember the most recent time, but the latest I do remember was at my grandmother’s funeral. I had to speak and mostly I held it together, but only just. 

3. do you have kids?

26 this year! (Teacher)  None of my own though, and kind of honestly don’t think I want any. Sending them home at the end of the day is plenty for me!

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

For sure. It’s how teachers survive - sarcasm and coffee. I try not to with the kids though. 

5. what sports do you play/have played?

When I was a kid I played netball very poorly. Nobody ever explained the rules to me, so I kept crossing boundaries I shouldn’t. As an adult, I do dog sports like agility. 

6. what's the first thing you notice about other people?

The way they treat and speak to/about others. Respect is a big deal for me. 

7. what's your eye color?

Blue.

8. scary movies or happy endings?

If it’s a good story and I like the characters, I don’t mind either way.

9. any special talents?

Not really. I teach obedience and other dog sports like agility and tricks, so people reach out to me if they want help or advice, but I wouldn’t call myself talented. 

10. where were you born?

Tasmania, Australia.

11. what are your hobbies?

Dog sport and training is a big one, but I feel like the more involved I’ve become in the clubs and the admin, the less time I actually have to train, so it’s sometimes a bit draining. SW was my great love when I was at school, but I’ve only just rediscovered it thanks to Rebels and Andor. Much love to the tumblr and RebelCaptain people for helping to reignite the fire. 

12. do you have any pets?

Three border collies. They are my kids, and I can’t live without them. The cat doesn’t belong to me, but she’s pretty cool too. 

13. how tall are you?

170 cm. I think that’s 5′8? Metric for the win!

14. favorite subject in school?

I loved most subjects for most of my school life. Probably why I ended up teaching! Favourites were always science-based, particularly biology. I love maths, and it’s my favourite subject to teach. At uni, my favourite was Spanish.

15. dream job?

After I finished high school, studying vet science was the dream. Life stuff happened to prevent me from doing that, but part of me wishes I was a vet now. Dog training would be amazing, but it’s a pipe dream for most. Not sure where I’ll end up if I leave teaching, but I guess life is never certain and you just need to take whatever opportunities arise. 

If you haven’t already done this, I’m tagging you! Feel free to do it or not!

@lilting-aurora @k2cassian @lunapascal @buckybarnesss @jake-and-amy-are-married @diplomaticprincess @daffodelia @pfirsichspritzer @annisthree @frostbitepandaaaaa @andorerso @andorology @caffineandsugar 

[charlotterhea]

I'm working on a new translation of one of my old stories and since I have so many feelings reading it again but am not yet ready to start posting, I thought I'd share some thoughts about it.

Follow me if you're ready for a lot of rambling and a bit of my personal fandom history.

'Inter Spem et Metum' - or ISEM as I resolved to call it - is my oldest Harry Potter fic. When my passion for this fandom grew and I thought about writing with these characters instead of Buffy's, I quickly found that Severus and Hermione would be my comfort pairing and OTP.

And quickly the plot formed in my head, at least partially. Contrary to today, at that time I had no problem with starting to write a story even though I didn't know how I wanted it to end. I knew that Hermione should witness more about what Severus was doing for the Order than she was supposed to know. And that she wouldn't be able to let it go. Today I know that there are probably thousands of Snamiones with exactly that premise but I didn't know when I began to write ISEM. Book 6 was just out, we still didn't know how all of this would end and so it was just logical to write a story within this setting. Plus I was new to the fandom and positively burning for this plot. ^^

So much so that there were days at which I would write three chapters, all of them about 4k in length. It was an insane experience, I was haunted by the plot, by Severus and Hermione and all I put them through. If it had been possible, I would have written this story in one go, without sleep, without food, without any break whatsoever. I only ever experienced something like that once again afterwards but I hope I will again sometime. Writing like that is a bit like being high. ^^

But I was 20 when I wrote this story and as it is when you're young and write something you're really burning for it was a mess. XD My beta at that time was a big help to me, adding some lightness to the overly dramatic story I'd written, putting some blatantly lacking Harry Potter spirit back in. And although it was still far away from perfect even with her help, this story opened the doors to a new fandom for me. I've met so many wonderful people through the comments to this story, one of them I'm still in contact with, 15 years later.

For all of these reasons, this story is really close to my heart - and that's why it was so hard to rediscover it a few years ago.

I'd grown as a person and as an author. I'd been through a hard time, I'd got older, I understood so much better what I had been doing to Severus because suddenly I was almost his age and couldn't see the romance between him and this Hermione happen anymore. This story was my epitome of cringe - and I wasn't ready to let it stay that way. I couldn't chalk it up as a sin of my youth, it just meant too much to me.

And after all, I somehow still liked the plot - but not the way I wrote it. I somehow still liked Hermione and Severus in this plot - but not the way I portrayed them. I saw what would have been possible if I had just been a tad bit more mature when I wrote it. I saw all the possibilities, the drama, the feels and I wanted to fall in love with this story again, just like I'd been in love with it when I wrote it - and so I sat down and revised it. Thoroughly.

I know, the opinions are divided about revising old stories. Some say it is a record of how far I've come as an author and I shouldn't erase it. Some could understand what I resolved to do. Probably because they'd read the story as it was. XD But anyway, I wouldn't have let myself be talked out of it. I couldn't find peace with the story as it had been.

But I admit, I underestimated how much it would need to find peace. I rewrote so much of it... The whole last 20 chapters are written anew because combing through the plot up to a certain point made it almost impossible for me to use anything I initially wrote afterwards. It was a hell of a lot of work and more than once I thought about screwing it. I thought about just deleting the story and being done with it. But I couldn't bring myself to do it and after I'd been more than halfway through I would have been stupid to not go through with it completely. But I did it bitching and whining. ^^

And I'm glad I did. I'm so happy with how the story turned out! <3

It's still not a plot I would write today; I prefer Hermione a bit older and I like to write after the war now. And it still contains some plot points I'm not exactly happy with. But it also has some absolutely wonderful chapters and moments that live in my head rent-free. I did fall in love with this story again and that's why I decided to translate it next. ^^

It will be a hell of a lot of work again because the story is 70 chapters long, about 380k words, and one of my longest stories ever. But once again, I'm blessed with an amazing beta and I'm slowly working my way through the story. And oh, the feels... XD

I'm really excited about posting it and I hope I'll meet some of you over at AO3 when I'm ready. Although the premise isn't really new, I think I did a good job giving it my own touch, sneaking my way through and around canon and making it an enjoyable story. I am once again proud of it and all the work I put into it.

Oh, and I'm proud of this story pic as well! I did it all by myself, even the photo of the coins I needed to create it. I brought them back home from Denmark on my own and I was really happy that I could put them to use for this story. They are beautiful and just perfect for the meaning these coins have in the story. ^^

Okay, enough gushing and musing. I hope I was able to intrigue you. If so, stay tuned, I will start posting it soon. :D

[piduai]

I totally agree with you , I tend to remember the bad more than the good . I guess for self care it's better to just watch the arcs you loved . I watched the episode 153 or 157 something ( I don't remember the exact number but it's about Kagura not wanting to sleep ) more than ten times because I liked it. I think it's the best way to view an anime like this.

After all not much is to be  expected from an author like this.

The aliens versus us is just a way to portray the pre opening era . CLEARLY . No reach. If he could write "THOSE FOREIGNERS " he would. Very weird it's giving Isayama with Snk , the world population vs us the people of ( I don't remember honestly ���). It's like a nostalgic / xenophobic stand but not outspoken.

I just wish we got more contents of characters like Asaemon and nobume + mutsu these three really could introduce  interesting drama with their profession and personalities. I will never NEVER get over it 😩👹. You know what ? I wish gunatama was a female only cast ( I DARE TO SAY IT👹👹👹)

Also I don't like Emosugi , Kamui is so  cringe , he's what to expect from a teenage boy. He's so predictable, a violent  emotional red hair emo .

But  Takasugi Dramasuke ?!  I just can't . His rage is valid but he never gave anything . A plate of pasta without salt . The hype about him is what all his character is . I never understood it. He doesn't look cool and I think his feet smell NGL.

He's the example of a delayed frontal lobe growth. Soratchi just used limited appearance to tune the citizens on. I don't know how they fell for it . When the whole truth was finally exposed i was disappointed 🧍🏻‍♀️.

I don't know how to explain it and why . He's just so cliché i thought ginballma would be more original but it's not when you look back when it's about serious topic.

i don't have arcs i particularly hate, tbh i watched it in 2013 for the first time and a lot of the cultural & linguistic jokes flew over my head, as well as a lot of references. so now i rediscover a lot of stuff on my rewatch, which is fun. but ig if you have stuff you really hate it's just better to skip altogether, i mean who cares. i only started rewatching it bc i need something to play in the bg while i eat/do my nails/clean around the house etc and short series end too fast while i don't feel like committing to a long series i haven't watched yet

yeah i do wonder, i didn't notice it the first time at all but now it feels very sus. it's also funny that earth = japan it seems, the word japan is never uttered actually but the existence of other nations is never brought up either. and amanto = foreigners, with kagura and the rest of the yato being alien chinese while catherine being alien something vaguely southeast asian. with the rest being animals. i don't think it's that deep just something that made me raise an eyebrow

asaemon is a one arc character and mutsu was shown for a bit towards the end, but nobume was snubbed lol. but again everyone else who isn't g*ntoki was also snubbed. with nobume it's a shame that her shoyo disciple side was never explored while some whomstie (oboro) got an entire thing around it. zura was also sidelined when it comes to this. nobume didn't really do much after sabuchan died from what i recall which is a shame. but also the cast is HUGE so with sorachi's limited formulaic writing abilities it's understandable lol

people always praise the character writing in gintama and i always disagreed with that because 98% of the cast is the same thing from different angles, or rather it seems that he can't write anything else. default character in this series is kind of a rude jerk who is actually super duper kind and niceys deep down and when it matters, and if push comes to shove they'll give you a helping hand no questions asked. most of them have their own quirks (kagura is an abrasive glutton, tae is arrogant, mean and backstabbing, nobume is aloof and apathetic, kyuubei and tsukuyo are overly-serious and awkward and so on and so forth) but the mold is the same. which is like, fine for shounen standards, and a lot of them are very likeable, but let's be real no giocondas are being painted here

i liked kamui until it was revealed that he actually fr fr is obsessed with his mom and sister and this whole time he was just lonely and misunderstood and lashing out. boring. he was fun as a power-hungry #psycho little shit but obviously we can't have any divergences from the mold in this house. as for takasugi he's always been one of my favorites so i can't say much here lol to each their own

[deathvsthemaiden]

Do you have any advice for ppl who’ve been in a reading slump since... 5 ever ? i love reading somehow it’s just harder to get into it these days :(

Omg for sure!! Here is a scrambled little list, I hope at least some of it helps:

📖 read in any format (ebook, physical book, audiobook) bc they’re all valid and make reading more accessible for people which is I think part of why ppl get hoity toity abt it. Ignore them. Also, I assume that if you wanna read, at least a large chunk of why is because you wanna have fun and consume stories yes? 😳 you can do that w/ any form of book, and any other reasons you might have to want to read, like expanding vocab or broadening ur horizons or learning to analyze books should be secondary. Focus on making it a fun and near-effortless/painless thing again and then u can graduate to those (I think that’ll come naturally tbh as long as you read semi-consistently) Fun comes First and I say that as a terrible English major 😗

📖 And with that in mind, read whatever you want, even if it’s simple or cringe or a reread or whatever because after completing the first few impulsive reads that you find engaging enough to finish completely, you can worry about reading what you think you “should” or what would benefit you specifically if that makes sense. Like I’m completely pro reading new things and not limiting urself to 1 genre but there’s no harm in taking your time moving onto things that don’t immediately pique ur interest. Get into the groove of things first, the criticism of ppl who are well past the target age market for YA but still exclusively consume it doesn’t apply to people who are trying to rediscover their love of reading imo.

📖 keep books nearby all the time! (All!!! The time!!!!) You might not actually read them 45/50 times that you bring them with you to places/keep them near you wherever u spend time at your house, but those 5 times will be bliss and you’ll thank yourself! Do it! Especially if ur open to ebooks and can read them on ur phone!

📖 put your phone somewhere far away on mute and force yourself to read for a specific chunk of pages or time. Very old person-ish advice but like. They’re onto smth when they tell us to do stuff like that, but they’re also way too smug and holier-than-thou about it so no need to tell any of them that! 🤫 but seriously be honest w/ urself if u have a compulsive notification checking problem and challenge yourself to overcome it long enough to meet a very small teensy tiny goal 🥅

📖 I juggle a lot of books at once and I’m constantly planning ahead in my brain when I do it, without consciously meaning to (library deadlines for digitized books are so strict 💔) And often I don’t end up following these plans perfectly, because following them perfectly isn’t the point, especially since life happens all the time and isn’t often very receptive when we wish we could forget everything and read for several straight hours. Reading shouldn’t be a burden, but the vague guidelines help. I think stuff like “tomorrow I’ll finish this poetry collection before bed” or “I’m gonna study and then read 2 chapters of this novel I’m rlly digging as a treat before continuing,” “I’m gonna listen to 4 chapters of this audiobook while I take a walk or do chores” etc etc. and usually I end up reading at least a little! And the best thing is when I read more than intended because the book is just that fun. I don’t write these plans down, but if it helps you to do so I urge you to anon :0 !! Just remember ur writing them on paper/a screen and not in stone, so you can always be flexible and change things around and you’re not by any means a failure for doing so. To be flexible w/ urself is most likely to ensure long term progress imo!

📖 speaking of juggling it’s absolutely fine to cycle through a ton of books and sometimes abandon them for months and come back when the whim strikes! If your memory is good enough and you prefer having a bunch of variety at all times, jump from book to book with reckless abandon! It legit doesn’t matter. Also don’t ever hesitate to drop a book if you’re not vibing it’s not worth it. Time is precious life is precious you’re doing this for fun, yes? Drop the book if you can’t bring yourself to care theres sooooo many more where it came from! Be merciless and picky!! It will pay off I promise, and to be that way is not antithetical to challenging yourself or stepping outside of your comfort zone unless you make it that way.

📖 buddy read/have an impromptu book club w/ someone. It doesn’t have to be official, and I’ve done this multiple times with people and sometimes we just don’t finish the book/meet our set goals and that’s a-okay! It’s still worth it to have someone to talk abt the book w/ and you guys can always pick up where you left off or try another book. Literally no stakes at all as long as everyone involved is chill and understanding <3

📖 set a reading goal you think you can manage by the end of the year! You might surprise yourself 😳 and if you don’t oh well! You’ll still have read at least a page in pursuit of said goal 🔎

📖 read short stories! The internet is full of them, and short story collections by multiple and singular authors are everywhere 📚

📖 do some searching and make a list of books that you’re extremely excited to read or really wanna revisit. And then pick your next reads from there! If you want recs for books or short stories you can always shoot me another ask or look at my goodreads (or goodreads in general)

[always-together]

New Blog Announcement!

@the-expatriate @tricksoolo @serpentine-rogue @ethereallyloved @ssatxr @misfitxofxfriends @healingn0tes @queenverdigris @castleofmxses @twistytwine

(This got long lol 😅 so it’ll be under the cut to avoid clutter)

So…it’s finally time to announce what I have in store for the very near future in terms of my next rping blog. It’s taken a bit of time to gather everything together in a way that feels satisfactory and not cringy, but I think it’s just about time to get everything together and make it. But before I give more information, a bit of background info…

This summer, I had read into an Alternate History forum that contained a universe that I thought could really work for a self-insert I was thinking about. At the time, I thought a basic SI would be “too cringe” and wanted to go with an alternate universe world to spice things up. Eventually, college started, and with it my huge hiatus, and plans fell to the back burner and I was no longer interested…

That was, until I came back and rediscovered a blog that had followed me a long, long while ago that hasn’t really rped with me, @melatoninburst (hi there hello just shouting you out for inspiring me). They too, run a self-insert OC blog, and inspired me to dust off my own SI OC and reconsider making a blog of my own, too. After a lot of metaphorical cobweb dusting and some thought about what to include from my life and not, I present to you…

Amelia Dudak! My self-insert OC, who will be getting her own blog soon!

She’s kinda 70% me and 30% Katie, hence the FC 😁 But she’s still primarily me, so don’t confuse them! It’ll be pretty easy to do that though, but you’ll find out more about it when it goes up

As for when I’ll be putting it together and throwing it up…well, I’m conflicted. You see, I’ve got my big Christmas event still going on until New Years, and a bunch of new threads on my multimuse courtesy of Mirabel. I don’t know if a new blog is the thing I need right now, especially since I’ll be busy with work and my family on New Years Eve and Day. But…I want to get my girl out there as soon as possible!

So…it’ll be up either this Wednesday or January 2nd, this coming Sunday. If it’s coming Wednesday I’ll let you know tomorrow night, but if not know it’ll be up on Sunday at some point.

So…yeah 😄 First time I’ll be putting an OC out there! Please share your feedback with me, whether through the replies or asks! It’ll help me improve things, and heck, if you ask for it I can even publicly share some things about her before the blog is put out proper 😉 But don’t me shy to let me know what you think!

Thank you for coming this far, if you indeed have! You get my love and support just for doing that 🤗 Have a great day, and don’t forget to share your thoughts!

[yellowloid]

Ok, for the Deep Writing Ask meme: 10-12, and then 14-20?

(it's fine if you don't feel like answering all of those, btw. Pick the one you like the most out of them in that case ;D)

i don't know if you meant, like, some of them or ALL of them- sorry if i got it wrong lmao, i'll try to be as concise as i can [edit: i failed]

(also some of these i've already answered so i'll just do the other ones)

10. How has writing positively impacted your mental health or overall mood?

man, i just like how liberating it feels. when i was younger i used to write mainly for fun, but now after i got past years of writer's block i rediscovered just how freeing it really is. it's fun, sure, but it's also like you have all these thoughts running through your brain and you just feel the need to write them down, free yourself of that tangle of ideas by giving them a coherent form. it can be challenging, but it's the most satisfying thing to know you've created something from scratch, and even if sometimes i'm a bit harsh on myself when it comes to my writing and i can be like 'wow this suck balls' (which does not positively impact my mood, nor my mental health 😅), i'll just keep going from there, because it's even worse if you *don't* write, you know? (this sounds so dramatic lmao i'm sorry)

11. Has a fic you’ve written ever caused issues/controversy?

no, not that i'm aware of

14. Do you compare yourself to other writers? In a positive or negative way?

i mean, i think it's normal to do it? it comes automatically when you write and also read, especially in a fandom environment where each story is different, but characters and tropes stay the same. so you get to see what someone made of a specific trope, or how they described something, or how well they developed the characters' relationships - and you can't help but feel like you could never do it that way, and it can be a bit disheartening. there are some writers whose writing is so good and it seems so effortless, iykwim? like it just flows out naturally and beautifully, while you're over there stressing over a single sentence. but just because you don't see their writing process doesn't mean it's not there, and they're probably stressing over the exact same things. i think in the end we're all in the same boat 😅 also for me when i compare myself to other writers it's because i just admire their writing so much + reading great stories motivates me to keep writing

15. How do you think your writing has improved over time?

i don't even know where to start, like obviously it's not perfect and as i said earlier i'm actually the biggest judgmental bitch when it comes to my own writing, but one thing i think has improved a lot ever since i started writing fics (and especially with my most recent ones) is my ability to have patience. i'm the most impatient person ever so for example when i have a specific scene in my head i just want to get to it- but i also realise i need build up, and side information, and everything else that will lead to that scene and blend into a proper fic. i've been getting better at just giving my writing time to reach the desired destination without rushing to it

16. Do you re-read old fics? Is there a time in your writing you won’t go back to?

yeah, i love rereading my old fics even if some of them make me cringe so bad, especially the ones in my native language (in my defense i was really young when i wrote them hahah). but it's an endearing kind of cringe, like looking at younger me and telling her 'you go girl, you have absolutely no idea wtf you're doing, but you're doing it and you're having fun with it so it's alright'

the more recent ones i reread for comfort every now and then!

18. Do you only write when you’re inspired, or do you try and sit down at specific times and write no matter what?

i try to sit down almost every evening after dinner and write as many words as i can, i like having a routine

20. What’s the greatest gift you’ve gotten from your writing?

what i said for question 10 about crafting something completely from scratch, no matter if it's good or bad, or if it's the most self-indulgent thing ever written, it's still writing and it's still a form of art and i really love that. also the fact that sharing it online allows other people to enjoy it, and to know something i've created and that brought me joy can also potentially put a smile on someone else's face is completely mindblowing to me. like, most of the time it's someone who probably lives on the other side of the world and somehow, some way, now they have some kind of connection to you thanks to that silly story you put online. to know that you can have that positive influence on someone, to be connected to other people while expressing yourself and telling stories - i think that's the greatest thing that comes from writing.

than you so much for your questions 💖

[byakuyasdarling]

WEIRDQUESTION BUt pre-relationship andreagami headcanons??? were they soft for each other and didnt wanna admit it??? /cur /pos

Oh my gosh, I LOVE PRE-RELATIONSHIP. Literally, my favourite thing for all ships tbh, ESPECALLY oc x canon and selfships. 

I have quite a few discrete posts about them in pre-relationship as it is (i.e. All posts under the [“Green Hills | -“ tag], [backstory carrd], posts [ 1 ], [ 2 ], [ 3 ], and the post that really hammers it home [here]. I also discussed who potentially fell in love first [here] and love confession draft [here]. I think that covers it all. 

Honestly, I love that stuff, but I understand it is a TONNE to read. So, I will drop some more pre-relationship headcanons I have been dying to put in a post :) 

All under the cut <3

So recently, I have been thinking of a different segment of their story pre-relationship. 

They have the galas from they were children (where they were very close because Byakuya wasn’t calloused yet), the Green Hills days where they spent the first year getting on each other’s nerves because of Byakuya’s distance, and the final Green Hills years when they really softened up to one another and came to a mutual understanding and they fell in love like cringe lords /lh. That’s all explained properly in their backstory carrd though. 

BUUTTT They got together 6 months into their first year at Hope’s Peak (Byakuya would have been 17 and S/I was 16). I like to think that for the 2 weeks before their confession, they kinda functioned A LOT like a couple.

Honestly, ever since they moved to Hope’s Peak they have been. Although I have discussed the fact S/I knows Japanese fluently, she’s only ever lived in English-speaking dominated countries. Just like Sonia, she will confuse certain phrases, especially if they mean something different in English. So she feels really lost and not at home.. Especially because she is living in the dorms of Hope’s Peak and not a family residence (I have cleared up that students at Hope’s Peak are allowed to return to their family homes when not attending school as they please; dorms are usually used by students whose families do not live close or cannot take residence close to the school). 

The only familiar thing she has is.. well, Byakuya. And granting the fact he loves her and is noticing how much she needs him... he may as well be accommodating. As established in Green Hills, he feels very responsible for her. He helps a lot with her language issues (but predominately speaks to her in English when they are alone) and grants her a guest room in the Togami mansion a month before the start of their relationship; he hates the idea of “someone of your calibre being around the unwashed masses”. He just progressively started looking after her more and more. 

Like, he was already soft for her, especially because they’ve known each other for most of their lives and have been vulnerable with each other only as a result.. but like... he is becoming softer by the minute with her. He kinda just offers her the residence in the mansion like it’s nothing because guests are there all the time, no big deal. Like the rich man he is, he did not quite process the fact she is actually LIVING with him. The guests do not even bother to interact with him when they are in the rooms, but he realised that she is here for the long term and she may want to spend time with him. 

That was the time that really solidified them as a couple. At first, S/I really didn’t want to get in Byakuya’s way and REALLY respect his boundaries. It’s his home after all. But after a few days, he reminds her he doesn’t mind if she sticks by him and spends time with him in the mansion either (even if he says it quite backhandedly). They already know so much *emotionally* about each other, but they really felt as if they were rediscovering each other as they navigated their lives together. It really brought them close, to the point where S/I could gently hold his hand and he wouldn’t flinch or complain, it just felt right to him. Holding hands, just like they did when they were little (They wouldn’t be physical in any other way until they were together though, and other forms of affection took around 2 months for Byakuya to be acclimated to). Byakuya did discover that he likes to be close and behind her though, always there to protect her. 

I have another section of this that leads up to their confession, which I call the “Night Café Saga”, but that is probably for another post. I already rambled so much here, ahaha. 

Have a wonderful day <33 And thank you to all who could read all of this, hehe. 

[cesabutterflywrites]

Mama Cesa Writes Announcements

No, not an update to your favorite fic, but important nonetheless: 

After a year of consideration, I have decided to rewrite 525,600 Minutes to be it’s own story to be published publicly. I will be expanding it to be novella length, expanding the characters, adding more plot outside of the romance, and more. 

On another note, I will be writing a fanfic sequel to 525,600 Minutes. I expect to be done with it by March of next year. I’ve grown a lot as a writer, though, and so the style may end up being different. 

FANFICTION UPDATES

Update for An Angel’s Smile: 

That fic is very much a heavy, heavy piece. I was in a dark place when I started writing it. I still love it though and I WANT to continue it but it is on hold for now. 

Update for The Duke of the Bay: 

I do NOT want it to be another 11 months until I update. It was literally torture for me as well as my readers. I’m pretty sure everyone has forgotten about it by now and moved on to other fics. Which is totally understandable!

My update goals for the chapters moving forward are 1 chapter every 3 months. Still a very long wait, but I am striving for the best. It’s a detective novel after all, and I want to make sure I’m getting the tone right. 

Update for Prince in the Storm:

We are about halfway through! Maybe less, I haven’t decided. It is obvious I play favorites with my multichapters, but to be fair, this is the fic that had me get back to writing in the first place. I started this when I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew exactly how this story is going to play out. 

My update goals for this fic are once every other month. 

Update for Sunrise: 

God I have so many plans for this fic you don’t even KNOW. However, I have to get into the characters’ heads as it is POV shift and, at times, unreliable narrator. There is also the trouble of being canon-compliant and Fuck Stephanie Meyer. I want the characters to be accurate but make good decisions. Which, you know, can also be out of character! 

No update goals for it, but it’s not on hold. 

The Destiel Fixit I promised for Christmas:

I want it to be a oneshot so bad. I do NOT want to make it multichapter. BUT it has the same problem that 525 had: it’s so god damn long and I’m 1/3rd of the way through. I’m debating making it multhichapter but that is SO much work. 

Obviously these goals are subject to change. I lead a very hectic life, even moreso now that I am a college student. Still I recently did a paper on how fanfiction changed me and I am feeling my passion for these stories spring up again. I miss making a lot of content. 

Here’s how you can help get updates quicker: 

please comment. I have the memory of an expired can of worms. Think of commenting or reblogging as a way to remind me to write at least three sentences. Even if it’s a reaction meme or “ur writing sux”. Notifications make brain go brrrr and it helps kick me into Writer Mode. 

That’s all that I can think of. 

“Cesa, what about that original story you said you’d have more news for by September?” 

Ah, Yes....more news

I have none. 

The plot is vague at best. Right as I was just getting started, my father in law’s condition got worse. Family drama went along with it, and the next thing I knew he passed away. 

This is why I haven’t been able to really write...anything. I’ve been grieving. But I do eventually want to try writing an original story NOT based in fanfic. This one has gay robots, bisexual leaders, and it’s Very Gay and I love it. 

I may post a sample for it within a month or so, just for feedback. So if you want to be tagged for that let me know!

OTHER THINGS

I changed my Wattpad Username, now it just needs to have a makeover. I’m going to be unpublishing a LOT of works there so if you wanna read the cringe now be my guest before it’s lost forever

I want to also get back into writing short stories. We’re reading a collection of short stories called The Thing Around Your Neck by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I’ve rediscovered my love for short stories and I know that I have a few that I abandoned and want to revisit. 

[casgirlsam]

spn 15.15 thoughts

i wrote these while watching spn east coast and posted them in a twitter thread.... so enjoy a crosspost!

AMARA IS BACK I LOVE HER

ITS DOCTOR SEXY NOW PASTOR SEXY OMG AND HES WAY SEXIER THAN LAST TIME WE SAW HIM

“We have rules” “yes and we also have spirit” oooh tie-in to the ending?

“Chuck said amara loves keno” “i thought he was joking” “hes not that funny” chuck somewhere: HEY

“Mrs butters what?” cas and his husband look of doneness

“Can we wear matching ties? :D” jack imma need you to tone down the cute

HE HAS A TALKING TEDDY I--

“It says i need a parent or guardian’s permission” “you have my permission” “*at fb sign up page* he gave me permission” jack sweetie bb ily

Cas: i swear to my murderous father if you hang up on me one more time, dean humanity winchester--

“Where can i find the koolaid? :D” jack you’re too cute bb

“New guy’s hot” i just got all mom just now lmao

“I have more dads than most” jack said i have 3 dads

Dr sexy is just surrounded by queer men and hey i mean cant blame them

AMARA IS BACK. and in a pink trench coat that we’ve been asking for

shes like that romantic rival in Asian dramas where they know it's hopeless but they cant help but flirt and care about the protagonist anyway

“I didn’t know what my purpose was anymore. Then something changed. I found a family. I became a father. And i rediscovered my faith. Who i am.” CAS T-T

“We’re like god’s fingers” so… when i have sex with someone…. *cringe*

As a native pennsylvanian, im insulted by that pathetic plate of pierogies

Dean asking amara why she brought his mother back--

“I wanted you to see that mary was a person. that she was more than the myth from your childhood. that she was complex” OMFG

“I thought having her back would release you from your anger. But i guess i failed at that” “youre damn right”

Oooh it was the kid

“Everyone keeps trying to help me. And who are you? Just a scared little boy trying to make his daddies happy” i mean she’s not wrong also once again 📢JACK HAS 3 DADS

Cas using his dwindling power to help

OH I GOT WRAPPED UP IN CAS BEING BACK AND JACK BEING CUTE THAT I FORGOT THAT CAS HAS A PHOTO OF HIM FROM TOMBSTONE Dean’s thirst for his husband knows no bounds that he'll even take a pic of cas in a cowboy hat on a case

Also forgot to mention that my queen rowena is all “nah we’re not doin demon deals. Humans die when they die and that’s final”

I KNEW THERE WAS A CATCH THERE ALWAYS IS

“Dont tell sam and dean” “and why not?” “because they won’t understand. This is the only way they’ll forgive me”

ten bucks says next week will be like: cas: jack will die when he defeats amara and chuck jack: cas! i can't believe you! and after i kept your secret about your deal with the empty! sam: dean: YOUR WHAT

also this is a thought i saw in my server but interesting that pastor sexy’s daughter said “we used to date. sort of. we use to watch movies together.” they were together even tho it was never said out loud. mmmm destiel mirrors thank you davy

fucking loved this episode and jack continues to be my nougat son

[ickle-ronniekins]

thank you for the tag my lovely friend @wand3ringr0s3. this looks like fun! :)

Which of your fics…

…did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it got?

tongue tied with my freddie boy.. it did get a big reaction, but i have other fics that got bigger reactions than this and it’s surprised me.

…got a better reaction than you expected?  

silent confessions, i believe, is my most popular fic at the moment. i’m happy that i was able to include both fred and george in this while ultimately it is a george x reader fic. normally i find that fred x reader stories do better overall, so i was super excited to see all the love that george got for this one!

…is your funniest?

i honestly dunno if i have a funny fic? i don’t necessarily find myself to be a good writer when it comes to writing comedy. the one i think of when i think of being ‘funny’ is the fake dating story, breaking the rules, with fred. i do quite like the way i established their friendship and i enjoyed writing their sarcastic banter with one another! though i don’t necessarily know if it’s funny, lol.

…is your darkest/angstiest?

FOR SURE it’s forgiveness, i mean the entire idea of the reader being engaged to fred before he dies, and then feeling immense, heart-wrenching guilt when she falls for george after they take solace in the fact that they have one another to lean on is just really dark and confusing. it was very difficult to navigate in order to make it a storyline people would be able to accept. i was very afraid everyone would be like “she’s just sleeping with his brother because she can’t have him!” but i really wanted to establish the baseline of their friendship and how through coping with fred’s death and their own feelings, they rediscovered one another in a different way and ultimately fell in love. there were a lot of dark themes within it -- of course, fred’s death being the main factor. there was anxiety, depression, detachment, lust....just a whole lot of angsty things in there.

…is your absolute favorite?

that’s really difficult -- for a while it was forgiveness, and then after that it was silent confessions, i think partially because i did get such an overwhelming amount of love on the both of them. however, when i think about it, the one i come back to time and time again is the my absolute favorite person series with george, a three part series where the reader and george are in love with one another since very young ages but never admit it to one another and ultimately end up with other people. it took me a really long time to write, especially because there were so many intricate details i wanted in there that needed to ultimately match up in order to give the story that extra bit of emotion. by far my favorite. ever. i’m really happy with the way my writing, plot structure, relationships and character development ended up with that story.

…is your least favorite?

oh my god there are too many to choose from honestly? LOL. honestly any of my old ones from my first masterlist... they were just rubbish. i don’t even know how else to describe them, quite honestly. i don’t even want to link any because i’m so embarrassed HAHA. pls don’t go to my masterlist and read the old ones. pls just don’t. i cringe.

…was the easiest to write?

the switch with fred! i thought it was going to be difficult, having to differentiate in my writing that fred and george were pretending to be one another, but i actually thought it flowed quite nicely. i’m happy with how it turned out, and the prompt was so cute! it’s definitely one of my favorites, i think. 

…was the hardest to write?

OH MY GOD. the easiest question. both of my george soulmate aus proved so difficult to write. the first one was clarity which was a soulmate au involving journals and writing back and forth with your soulmate but being unable to reveal your identity due to the war. i was so worried people were going to think it was a stupid idea and i legitimately rewrote the ending like six different times, it took me a solid week to write or something. insane. and my most recent george soulmate au, the one i was meant to find, was super difficult to write in the sense that there were a lot of details i needed to pay very close attention to in order for the story to unfold the way i wanted it too. also rewrote this ending like ten different times. i couldn’t decide whether i wanted the reader to leave with george when they peaced outta hogwarts, or reunited with him years later. SO DIFFICULT JREOHGLIEKSD UGH

…has your favorite line/exchange/paragraph? (share it)

there’s actually a lot of small things throughout my stories that i’m pleased with, and it’s difficult to pick just one. but there are a few paragraphs from one story in particular that come to mind. it’s a pretty big part, so i’ll cut it down a bit. writing forgiveness was a process, and one i’m thankful for. i was very pleased with the way i was able to incorporate their past into the present and have it tie their relationship together. my favorite little bit from it has to be this part:

“He felt nerves like he’d never felt in his life, but he didn’t let on. He didn’t want you to see, because you didn’t know. Nobody did.   Nobody knew that George had been madly in love with you since before you and Fred had gotten together.   Not even Fred knew. And being the gentleman that he is, George never said a word to his twin, or to anyone, when you two began dating. And when you’d decided to move in together, he helped you unpack things in your new home with his brother. And when you and Fred ran to him to tell him you were engaged, he swallowed his pride and held you both in his arms, ready to celebrate.   And when Fred died, George promised himself he’d do everything in his power to keep his brother’s fiancé happy and safe.   So, if you wanted him to stay now, he shouldn’t feel guilty about that, right?” oof

…have you re-read the most?

okay, i am kind of embarrassed to admit that i do reread my writing, but it’s for the purpose of weeding out structure that i like, that i dislike, writing styles i’d like to try again or that i’d like to avoid, specific phrases i’d like to save for the future, phrases i definitely don’t want to use again, things of the like. i’ve probably reread my absolute favorite person the most, because i’m proud of the intricate details of the interwoven underlying plots and themes i was able to incorporate and i feel my writing is very strong there.

…would you recommend to someone reading your work for the first time?

AHHHHHH THIS IS SO HARD. i’m going to do what haley did and break it down by category. i don’t write smut, just FYI! but stories marked with an * have a lil bit of ~heat~ to them

angst - can’t help falling in love with you [george], wildflowers [fred series], forgiveness [fred/george], empty [fred/george], on rainy days [george]

fluff - sunkissed* [george], temptations [george], chemical reaction [george], the riot* [fred], tangled up [fred], placing bets [george], in every lifetime [fred], cosmic destiny [fred]

tagging all of my lovelies! @theweasleysredhair @harrysweasleys @starlightweasley @valwritesx @pit-and-the-pen @writesowhatnext and i’m blanking because i totally suck but anyone else who wants to do this!

[sweatersarecomfyy]

A Second Chance

Pairing: Bucky x vet!reader

Summary: Bucky finds a stray dog after the snap and gives it a second chance.

A/N: Bucky deserves happiness more than anyone else, so I gave him a dog and a Y/N. I felt it was the perfect revenge to name the dog after Steve for those of us who feel like he abandoned Bucky. This is super fluffly and cute. It will make you happy. 

Bucky couldn’t really help himself when he saw the dog wandering around the streets. Its coat was ragged, and it looked like it had mange, a couple of its teeth were missing, and one of its eyes was swollen. He got a treat, to try to lure it in, and approached it cautiously, knowing what it was like to feel cornered and lost.  

Hey girl,” He said soothingly, crouching down to its level. It backed away and whimpered. “It’s ok,” he kept saying soothing words for as long as it took for her to inch towards him and cautiously eat the food he had.

“Thatta girl,” He carefully slipped a leash around her neck and waited for her to finish eating. He held the leash slack, and as he expected, she simply followed him wherever he went. This time it was to the vet. She hesitated as she crossed the threshold to the vet’s office, but with some more gentle coaxing from Bucky, she managed to make it. Some of the people around them stared in disgust at the marred features of the dog but Bucky walked directly up to the counter.

“Is this your dog?” The lady at the desk asked, smiling down at her.

“Yes, well, sort of. I just found her,” Bucky shuffled his feet, still feeling a bit awkward about talking with people, especially someone as nice looking as this woman. “I wanted to help,” He glanced at the lady’s name tag, it read Y/N.  

“There have been a lot of strays like this after the snap, but people don’t usually bring them in,” She said taking down a note.

“I’ll pay,” Bucky shrugged his shoulders, “I mean, I want to keep her.”

“Can you follow me to the back?” She gestured towards another set of doors.

He nodded. He stood by the dog the whole time and tried to help her feel calm. While the nice lady looked the swollen eye and other injuries. They gave the dog a nice bath, and prescribed some medicine to help. He smiled to the Y/N on the way out. That was new for him, something that was rediscovered at least.

---

About a month later, the dog was now running happily in a park. It’s golden coat glossy and healthy, and her eye back to normal. They couldn’t do anything about the teeth so whenever she closed her mouth her tongue would still stick out, but it was cute. Bucky threw the ball with his metal arm, the ball going further than ever, and the dog galloped off, springing off the green grass.  

“Is that the same dog?” A lady said from behind Bucky.

He turned around and smiled, “Y/N, right?”

She nodded.  

“Yeah, she looks great, doesn’t she?”

“Amazing.”

“She just needed a second chance,” He looked intently at the dog as it came bounding back to him having fetched the ball. She jumped up and down in anticipation of the next throw, and then stood completely still to watch Bucky throw.

Y/N laughed, “What did you end up naming her?”

He laughed a second. “Stevie, actually. She reminds me of a friend.”

“Was this friend a hyperactive blonde woman?” Y/N laughed again.

“Close, blond man,” Stevie came running back again and Bucky knelt down to scratch her ears, “You may have known him, he was quite famous.”

She glanced from Bucky’s metal arm to the dog and back again, “You’re Bucky?” She asked, realization dawning on her face.  

He nodded and sat down on the grass, Stevie instantly collapsed down next to him, legs up, begging for a belly rub, “You want to sit?”

She sat down next to him and Stevie started prancing around her, and then rested her head in Y/N’s lap. She stroked Stevie’s head, and looked more intently at Bucky, trying to discern his emotions. They weren’t as hidden as the first time she had seen him at the vet’s office.  

“You miss him, don’t you?” She asked.

“Yeah,” He pulled up some grass absentmindedly, “But he had a gal back then, you know how it is.”

“And you didn’t?”

He chuckled “If you can believe it, I used to have quite the following back then. But no, no one special.”

“I can believe it” She smiled sincerely at him.

His head jerked up and he looked into her eyes, blushed slightly and then looked back down, “Not so smooth these days.”

“Well it’s a good thing you’ve got a dog,” Y/N bent down closer to Stevie, “Isn’t that right Stevie?”  

Stevie gave a happy grunt-bark in reply.  

“See, you don’t need to be smooth if you have a dog,” Y/N smiled at Bucky again.

He laughed, “Do you have a dog?”

She shook her head, “Probably also one of the reasons I don’t have a boyfriend.”

He looked surprised again.

“What was that look?”

He shook his head, “I dunno. I guess I just…” He turned a little more pink, “Nevermind.”

“Ok, you can’t do that, now you gotta tell me,” Y/N said, Stevie agreed and nudged Bucky in the knee with her nose, although she was probably just asking for a treat.  

Nervously, he cleared his throat, “Well, I just thought, you know, because you look like that, and you’re nice that you know, that you would have a boyfriend. Or something.”

“Did you just call me pretty?” A smile crept onto Y/N’s face.

This was not his comfort zone and he suddenly looked very uncomfortable, but was still unable to tell a lie, “I, um, I would say beautiful, not pretty.”

Now it was Y/N’s turn to look away bashfully, “Oh.”

“I’m sorry,” He paused and then made to get up, “I’m not good at this.”

“Hey, no,” She stood up with him, “Wait, it’s ok,” She scratched the back of her neck, “I’m no good at this either. You know, I spend all my days with animals, sometimes when it comes to human communication it’s sort of weird.”

Stevie was prancing forth between the two of them, wanting some sort of attention, but still not receiving it.

Bucky smiled, and it was one of the most beautiful things in the world. He stood up a little bit taller and somehow seemed a little bit more confident. “Would you want to practice sometime?” He smirked, uncharacteristically  

“Practice what?”

“Human communication,” His smile grew wider.

Y/N giggled, “Now that was smooth.”

Bucky blushed again and looked away, his bravado fading.

���Sounds like plan,” Y/N said. She wrote down her phone number on Bucky’s hand, and started walking away, “I’m only doing this because of your dog, you know.”

He laughed, “Of course you are.”

She turned back again, “I’m not though, I actually really do like you. That was a joke.”

“I know.”

She cringed inwardly at herself and turned away, he waved kindly and knelt down next to Stevie, “You see that, I actually did get a date, you’re an much better wing-man than the original Steve.”