#I need an ask meme tag

[butchjesus]

ok but for real now. since tiktok has so throughly disappointed on this trend. who is your strangest hear me out / most bizarre crush? freaks and headscratchers only edition

[slyandthefamilybook]

Imagine you have a friend over for dinner and you make them steak. It's a traditional family recipe, and you know it turned out great. You're really proud of this good steak you made. After the meal you ask your friend what they thought of your steak and they say: "I loved it! I hate food poisoning, though."

"... Okay, what did you mean by that?"

"Nothing! The steak was great! I just hate getting food poisoning!"

"... Is the steak going to give you food poisoning?"

"Oh, not this one. This one was great. But some steaks give you food poisoning."

"Okay, but not this one, right?"

"No, not this one."

"... Then why did you bring up food poisoning?"

"I just didn't want you to think that because I liked your steak that I also like food poisoning."

"Why would I think that?"

"Because some steaks give you food poisoning."

"But not this one."

"No, not this one."

This is how goyim talk about Jews

[bread-is-my-life]

Big shout out to @tekitothemagpie and all the stainmight fans for cheering me on and motivating me. I love all of you very much so consider this animation a big thank you gift for y'all (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN 🎃👻🍬

[spacenintendogs]

D3 fishlout,,, D3 fishlout rose I’m begging,,,

his name is fishlegs after all...

ask meme

[14dayswithyou]

That is all thank you

ANSWERED: Art credit for da first Ren meme goes to @meo-eiru!!

BUT HELPPPPP THESE ARE SO FUNNY JDSGJH T_T The Moth meme + Uno meme had me CACKLING lmaoooooooo

[irosthings]

Happy late birthday Cam! 💗 I knew I was missing out on sth? So I had to look for the ask just to be sure 🥲

Like it's such a funny coincidence but their birthday date matches with Semana Santa/Holy week which it's actually kind of an (religious) important date/holidays week for us spanish speaking countries lol Anyways I love our bestie, so I had to!

Cam is from Keyframes by @blank-house

[miyakuli]

I've been tagged...

...by @oo-mi-ru-oo for a very cute game, thank you <33

Create your own custom bedroom!

I'll tag if you want~ @fismoll7secinv @a-small-constellation @tragicomic-a @priintaniere @such-a-downer

[doostyaudi]

Cringe ass nae nae animation i made involving pinki and my aroace headcanon i gave her. This part always felt aroace core to me and not rlly a "why can't i find true love :(" kind of thing

Yes i KNOW pinki and Oran r canonically dating 🙄🙄 but that's BORING to me. So i made pinki aroace and i made oran get into a Polycule with a trans-man dragon and a transmasc freak-ass alien. I do not care abt canon 🥰

Also i snuck my oc into there HEHE RUNS AWAY

[decepti-thots]

trick or treat for Skybound Starscream :3

trick: okay, i am not gonna lie. literally as SOON as i got to the iconic and infamous SPLAT panel on my first read of that issue, i was like. my brain just immediately went. 'i know he fucking popped one of those humans in his mouth one time just to see. like he thought it was gross and spat the guy out but. he did do that and i know in my soul'. so that's my cursed headcanon. i absolutely think skybound starscream has tried to eat at least one (1) guy.

[tallbluelady]

legs wrapped around your lover's body

My one and only love, I've been lonely long enough...

[daily-selfship-questions]

How does it go folding laundry with your F/O(s)? Do yall giggle as the couch or bed gets all the clothes tossed onto it? Maybe just one of yall sort out the clothes while the other is there to keep them company? Do one of you end up maybe balling up a shirt and playfully throwing it at the other one? Maybe they came over when you weren't feeling well to help you do it and just tell you to rest/viceversa.

Does one of you blush if you come across the other person's undergarments or is it just nothing cause pfftt everyone wears those! Who cares!

Maybe if you two are a similar size or one happens to wear big baggy clothes, is there ever a mix up for who's hoodie or sock it might belong two and yall have to try and amusingly figure it out?

[lexa-ocean]

...Ma'am

This will totally happen btw my dad is a turtle and he confirmed (/j)

[lollipopmixclo9]

was fighting my artblock but got inspired by how much ppl made quotes about the Look Back movie 🥹

I couldn't pick one character, so I bundled them up! Honestly, the guilty favorite is just an excuse for me to draw Jane and Ben 🙈

This template is made by __ksgi on twitter!

[kkoct-ik]

Jimmy big naturals Please? 🙏🏽

one order of cursed drawings for some two lovely people ever . enjoy

[thatswhatsushesaid]

au from shi wudu's POV

revised ask accepted, protagonist halo shi wudu let's goooooooo

youth: i don't understand why my little brother who was raised as a girl from childhood to avoid drawing the attention of the reverend of empty words has to be so gender about everything--no, shi qingxuan, your opinion is not necessary, don't interrupt me.

victimless (tapes he xuan's mouth shut and stuffs him into a linen closet) crime era: get fucked, fate, i'm too busy winning 💅 to listen to you. or whoever that guy was. this probably won't become relevant later.

(somewhere in here the greater heavenly area polycule forms)

ghostly bridegroom to the end of the banyue arc: wow, that looks like a real hot mess. glad it's not any of my business--wait, is that pei xiu? is that shi qingxuan??? shi qingxuan what are you doing!! get back here right now--

mid autumn festival banquet: someone should invent a gun so i can have one. so i can shoot whoever wrote this play. shi qingxuan stop shouting, ge is doing his best!!!

(what happens with the three tumours at the hot springs stays at the hot springs 👀)

the fetus spirit arc: surprisedpikachu.jpeg, pei ming what do you mean it isn't your baby

THE BLACKWATER ARC, where the protagonist halo materializes in the form of a pei ming ex machina: pei ming!! what took you so long? if you'd been three minutes faster i'd still have hands!! /waves his bloody arm stumps around until someone makes him prosthetic arm fans he can use to swim around with

i may revisit this very bad retelling of tgcf from shi wudu's POV once i've actually finished reading the book

[kooki914]

I AM HERE

More incorrect quotes except there’s a few more characters! A few are from me and my friends

~~~

Spade: Never eat the ashes of the dead

Queen: I will

Spade: Nuh uh. I already did. I used them as popcorn seasoning

Queen: FORBIDDEN PEPPER

—

Asgore: Hey guys what should I eat?

Spade: Newborns

—

Spade: Go fuck yourself.

Asgore, smugly (and also probly drunkly): Sure, but only if you watch

—

Toriel: You're a lying piece of shit!

Asgore: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!

Spade: I'm leaving and I'm taking Queen with me!

Rudy, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

—

Asgore: Team A will consist of myself, Spade, Toriel, and Rudy.

Asgore: Team B will consist of Queen.

—

Toriel: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to?

Asgore: Schrödinger's boys.

Spade: FUCK!

Rudy: What about cracking open a cold milkshake?

Queen: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do.

Queen: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

Toriel: ...

Asgore: ...

Spade: ...

Rudy: ...

Queen: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

—

Queen: What makes you all smile?

Toriel: Friends and Family.

Rudy: Snacks.

Spade: Victory and success.

Asgore: Face muscles.

~~

He needs help

~~

Queen: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Rudy: 'Prettiest Smile'

Toriel: 'Nicest Personality'

Spade: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Asgore: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

—

Toriel: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

Rudy: Maybe a bit tipsy?

Queen: Drunk.

Spade: Wasted.

Asgore: Dead.

I actually got a bunch of ideas for the monopoly one so I feel the need to expand on it: Rudy takes the role of banker out of necessity, as no one else wants it, not even Queen, who can do all the necessary math in less than a second. Spade tries to cheat at multiple points in time but Rudy and Toriel keep catching him, Asgore is none the wiser. Because of this, Asgore is the first out of the game due to bankruptcy. While Queen's busy laughing at him, she ends up getting ousted from the game too, betrayed by her fellow queen Toriel. Rudy is just playing to survive while Toriel and Spade are at each others throats. Neither of them are letting up. Spade's been in jail more times than he can count but somehow it's not slowing him down. Toriel is beyond pissed. Insults start getting thrown, mostly by Spade. Queen and Asgore get caught in the crossfire. Rudy's the only one still staying at least Somewhat lighthearted with all of this. Then Toriel and Spade start screaming at each other:

In other news here's the yearbook shitpost that I included someone else into as well whom i will post about in the near future I Hope.

And last but not least: