#I nearly dashed out a scene for this bc the new dynamics are so interesting to me

[nashiriel]

Finding out bbLuke's claimed the cannibal do you think otto starts making extra plans? Like ... daughter do you still fit in the blue dress rhaenyra liked you in so much?

Also, hmmm Aemond...before the eye thing you seemed fond of young Lucerys... I need you to embrace your targaryen nature and find the maiming as sort of flirting.

🤣 Otto so would.

The Greens are in a bit of a tricky situation in the bb!Luke AU, because Luke claimed the Cannibal fresh from Driftmark - aka, just after Rhaenyra has had it made unmistakably clear to her what her childhood friend thinks of her, and how very vulnerable her children would be if Viserys wasn’t willing to defend them.

And Otto recognises that the lines have been drawn now - he’s got no hope of real power or influence in a world where Rhaenyra ascends as queen, not least with Daemon as her consort. So he’s definitely still gunning for Aegon as king, but he now knows that Vhagar isn’t necessarily going to turn the tide on her own when Rhaenyra now boasts such extensive firepower of her own.

Luckily, there’s more than one way to slay a dragon.

So when Viserys remarks how wonderful it will be for Luke and Aemond to rekindle their friendship through dragon training after all that unpleasantness…Otto is surprisingly all in favour, despite Alicent’s tearful protests.

But dutiful as Aemond usually is, when his grandfather is telling him to hide his rage at the bastard who maimed him and got a dragon as a reward…that’s easier said than done. Even if he’s simply biding his time as his grandfather counsels, winning Luke’s affection once more whilst lining up the knife that will ensure the survival of his family, and Luke has, after all, always been so very easy to befriend, to love…

And of course, whilst Aemond grapples with coping with his new disability, the pressure of feigning friendship with someone he hates (and, perhaps, reminding himself how much he does hate him), Luke isn’t the only one he has to convince. There’s new best buddy Rhaena who remembers exactly what happened on Driftmark without the cloud of Luke’s guilt, Grandma who keeps seeing more of Laenor in Luke no matter what common sense tells her…

And of course, his omnicidal, possessive predator of a dragon. Like recognises like, and Rhaenys doesn’t have a rolled-up newspaper big enough to stop the Cannibal from trying to see off this particular threat.

[splashstar01]

Love letter to Merthur (11 year anniversary🎉💐) TW: suicide, spoilers for end of the show

Okay so it's been 11 years since Merthur has been my OTP. Since they've entered my life I've literally felt like I've been in a relationship with their relationship if that makes sense. For a little while until I met my spouse, I even identified as aegosexual, which for me meant being asexual except for attraction to other people's relationships such as my OTPs. 

I came into the fandom end of 2013 and became interested because they were all over my tumblr dash. I know, the show ended at the end of 2012.. I'm not sure why Tumblr had a sudden influx of merthur content. Maybe due to the slash tourney?

But I kept seeing the final end scene all over my dash and I kept seeing a ton of articles celebrating that merthur was now canon (imagine my surprise when i found so many in the fandom don't see it that way even tho it was literally confirmed……………………..). 

I knew literally nothing about the show and assumed it was a serious adult show about the Arthurian legends. But I shipped them anyway due to the ending, particularly with Merlin waiting 1500 years (I didn't even realize Arthur was also waiting)!

At the time I had just got into shipping for half a year, so I was super new to all this slash stuff. My slash OTP at the time was very quickly replaced by merthur after I began watching the series bc merthur was just way more touchy-feely and had actual boyish fun around one another, not to mention waiting 1500 years for ea other! That is EPIC LOVE!!!! Their dynamic was the opposite of my previous OTP. 

With merthur I got really, really into my feelings. I've literally bled for them. Rest assured, I have never cut in my entire life. it's only due to me becoming so emotional and hyperventilating in joy that I bit my fingers and bled a little bit. Like, the amount of blood i lost was akin to literally a paper cut from my teeth lol. Because I cover my mouth when I hyperventilate… I think most people cover their mouths when they do this. Lol.

But when I hyperventilate over Merthur, it is EXTREME. like, i have almost out-of-body experiences. i’ve literally cried from being so happy thinking of them having sex. One time in the shower I was thinking about them and I was so happy I nearly blacked out and fell into the shower curtains. 😂 But even when I cry over Merthur/Arthur, im still having fun. Because I know it's not real, so it’s only a pseudo-grief but its NOT psuedo-joy!!! LOL. It's kinda like going on a roller coaster. You’re screaming but you dont actually fear for your life. It’s psuedo-fear. 

At the time, I was severely depressed in my non-fandom life, but Merthur never actually contributed to that hurt, because i could see the lines of reality vs real shit i had to be upset over. Merthur gave me an outlet. With merthur I felt free to cry and fall apart whilst at the same time, as I always tell my ppl, "they're not real, THANK GOODNESS!!" so I can grieve bc I'm not really crying for anyone!

At the time, I wasn’t seeing anyone for my severe depression/anxiety because I thought I could handle it and i was self-medicating with psychedelics since they've been proven to be able to heal mental health issues. LSD at parties healed my c-ptsd, since I had gone to see someone for my ADHD & ended up being diagnosed w c-ptsd! I thought it could heal my other issues too.

But then I took a 7-year break from merthur due to my attempted suicide.

My life was going so well too. I literally seemed like i had the perfect life while in college. Just landed a good-paying 1-yr temp job, I was majorly popular and partying every weekend, I had a long-term partner (we’re now married), I had a 4.7 GPA, was in 9 different school clubs. I seemed to be thriving. But I’d been battling severe anxiety/depression since I was 12.

How the fandom saved my life….. Literally. 

Before I was going to do it, I had to say goodbye to the fandom bc I always felt like the merthur fandom was like my family.

I wrote a goodbye post on Tumblr that I set to queue and I had assumed it would post much later. But ig i somehow miscalculated and it posted too early. So someone managed to find my Facebook which is just insane bc blogs are essentially anonymous. I didn't post any personal info on Tumblr. It should have been impossible but they alerted my sister and I was found 45 min away.

The doctors declared me brain dead and it was this huge thing. I had to relearn to feed myself, walk, etc. It took me 6 months just to have the strength to use a walker because my leg muscles had atrophied so much. 9 months later and I was able to walk again on my own. Now it's been 7 years and I'm still physically disabled but in a much better place emotionally. After my attempt, a limelight was cast on my mental health and all a sudden i was seeing all sorts of therapists. I was medicated for the very first time, and i felt so much better. I’m no longer actively suicidal.

So….. enough about my sob story. 

Merthur will most likely always be my OTP!! I did find book!Drarry 8 months ago, and boy did i go wild for them too. (Like, i stayed up 36 hours straight because i couldnt stop thinking about them and i’m the author of the Drarry Bible, a 98k doc of all the drarry book moments along with meta proving that in their universe, they are in love and soulmates lol. Drarry is such a huge ship that I was honestly so surprised that there wasnt already something similar to it!!)

But even with Drarry, I always knew Merthur was OTP!! I never once questioned that I loved Merthur more even during my Merthur hiatus. ^-^ I’m not sure why i took such a long hiatus after my suicide attempt. But I recently got back into Merthur just 6 months ago due to this video by imaginedragonlords: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4zDknYGf0s. The video reminded me of why Merthur was so amazingggggg. Like i always knew they were but ig the passion was gone after the suicide attempt. (Gone but not forgotten lol! :D)

I wont promise the passion will always be here. Like in any relationship, passion sometimes ebbs and flows (happening rn w my irl partner lol i mean, they’re great n all but they like to interrupt me when i write fanfic 😂), but I’ll always know that Merthur will never be replaced. Because at the end of the day, there will never be another love as epic and with as much chemistry as these two gayssssssss<33333 i did find another ship I love that i feel has a more healthy love for ea other than merthur and also waited a whole lifetime for one another, but they dont have AS much chemistry……………)

I love Merthur SO DAMN MUCH!!!!!! And i love my Merthur fandom. <3 I can always rely on fandom to give me my drug of choice: that MERTHUR DOPAMINE HIT!!! I’ve grieved Arthur’s death way longer & more intensely than any irl person/pet’s, & I blame the fandom for that! Each gifset or post will bring all the feelings of pseudo-grief back in full force, plus I cry EASY when it comes to fandom. I can smile a genuine smile after my grieving session is done, because thank SOURCE THEY’RE FICTIONAL! 

And anyway, they’re so obviously going to end up married with so much sex once Arthur finally returns from training with the Sidhe and being granted immortality so that Albion (Merlin) won’t ever be in such crisis (losing his mind from grief) ever again.

I’ve also cried from looking at a gifset of Leon just being Leon (this one literally tagged ‘literally crying’ & i only use that tag for stuff that has me actually crying with real tears).

And he’s not even one of my fave knights!! This gifset wasn't meant to be sad either. lol. I dont know why i cried. It just be like that on Tumblr.

Back before my hiatus, I literally had a Kleeenix box next to me whenever i went on tumblr bc I’d cry over every little thing. This was bc i was bound to see some sad merthur gifset/post/etc, cry, and after i cried once, anything else made me cry……..

Even gifsets of Leon just being Leon lool. x’D I would get soooooo overly emotional. 

My spouse once said, “All you ever talk about with ur fandoms is ‘they’re so gay.’” YES. THAT IS THE MAIN POINT, WHAT ABOUT IT 😂 like im now in the Harry Potter book fandom & i literally dont give a shit about the book plotlines [I barely remember them], but i can write up a whole Bible about Drarry……. It’s PRIORITIES! I have a very 1-track mind with my ships lol.

Ok this was way longer than intended. 

Tldr;

merthur (fandom) literally saved my life during my suicide attempt by alerting my family,

grieving Arthur’s death is a safe outlet bc i know he’s not real so none of my grief is real.

I dont cut, never have, never will—I just hyperventilate way too hard in fits of joy, usually crying “they’re SO GAY!!!” & bite my fingers a tad too hard on accident at times..... i get really super emotional and i love it becos that free dopamine hit is on another lvl fr lol def up there w real drugs, like my out-of-body experience sometimes xD

I feel like im dating them due to being partly aegosexual. and i love them <3 :D So my 11 yr anniversary fr feels like my 11 yr anniversary w an IRL lover lol XD

[xukunstellation]

Assassin (Part 1) || Fan Chengcheng

Title: Assassin Pairing: Female!Reader x Chengcheng Genre: Agent!AU + Mafia!AU + Action Word Count: 1061 words Summary: Your mission is to eliminate the son of the most notorious gang in all of China: Fan Chengcheng. However, you come to realize that Chengcheng is no easy target. Warning: mentions of violence and guns, though no one actually dies or gets seriously hurt in this. i tried not to make this too explicit bc Chengcheng is still a minor. please do not read this if you are sensitive to any of this mentioned!

A/N: The amount of enjoyment and fun I’ve had writing this is unreal. I normally stick to writing fluff and angst, so it was a breath of fresh air to try something new and write an action genre scenario. As you can see, I had a little too much fun considering I had to split this up into two parts since it was getting way too long.

I ended up writing the reader as female simply because I was inspired by the Agent J performance and the dynamic between Jieqiong and Chengcheng in that stage. Feel free to message me if you wish for me to make the reader non-female.

Bless the anon who requested this. I hope this lives up to your expectations! 

Part 2

i’m so excited to write this

fan chengcheng in a suit? in a mafia au??

sign me the fuck up

annnnnnd start

so you’re a secret spy working under one of the most prestigious agencies in the espionage world

your agency primarily focused on bringing justice to high profile criminals and putting them behind bars via finding information about them; another sector of your agency were specially trained assassins sent to take out the really dangerous criminals 

you have a reputation for being at the top of your sector

due to your advanced tracking and communication skills, you were usually sent on missions that require you to go undercover and gain information from the enemy or opposite side

per protocol, you were pretty well versed in hand-to-hand combat as well

to your surprise, you were assigned a completely different mission than what you usually did

your boss explained to you about a gang called yuehua who were notorious for performing a multitude of illegal activities, usually grand-scale theft in order to sell for higher prices on the black market. they would go as far as killing others or making them go missing to hide their traces

there have been several reports that yuehua were planning on infiltrating your agency in order to gain information for their future endeavors

and who was the one who knew what and where information was held in the agency?

yep that’s right

you

luckily you were good at keeping an extremely low profile on your missions so no one outside of your agency knew of your spy background

the mission was simple: eliminate the yuehua members one by one and without a trace before they can get to the agency

just to be safe and throw off your identity as a tracker, your boss decided to place you on the assassin sector of the mission, meaning you as well as the rest of your team were in charge of taking out the yuehua members

it probably would have made more sense to make you go into hiding, but your tracking skills were desperately needed by the agency

look at you taking one for the team

you found out that several members of yuehua were to attend a special masquerade banquet held by some elite family

being the agent with the most experience, you were in charge and assigned each member of your team a yuehua boy that went as followed:

yanjun → zhu zhengting, chaoze → ding zeren, dinghao  →  huang xinchun, zhangjing → li quanzhe, honglin → huang justin, maotong → bi wenjun

the yuehua member you were assigned?

none other than the son of the head of yuehua himself

fan chengcheng

handsome, clever, charming, and extremely dangerous

he was known to seduce females only to make them go bankrupt as his gang members stole all of their assets behind the scenes

you figured you would give him a taste of his own medicine

your disguise had you all dolled up from head to toe in an elegant hairstyle and a sexy black dress that accentuated your looks beautifully. the outfit was paired with a silver laced mask that covered nearly half your face, keeping your identity somewhat safely hidden. for extra caution, you wore black silk gloves so you wouldn’t leave any traces of fingerprints behind

you were sure to get some looks because damn you lookin like a whole snack

but all you cared about was catching the attention of fan chengcheng

while yanjun distracted security, you managed to slip your way into the party without being seen. walking around, you did your best to blend in with the crowd as you scanned the area 

target sighted

from across the room, you saw chengcheng looking dashing in a classic black and white tuxedo matched with a gold jeweled mask, helping himself to a generous amount of finger foods at the catering table. you knew it was him by the yuehua tattoo on his wrist that appeared whenever he raised his hand high enough

you almost lost your composure when you nearly laughed at how stuffed his cheeks were. if it weren’t for who he is and what your mission was, you would have thought he was cute

you waited until he was done eating before waltzing over to him and tapping his shoulder, catching his attention as he looked at you with vague interest

“hello. would you care to dance?” you smiled charmingly

“who am i to deny a beautiful lady’s request?” he replied, returning your smile with a slight smirk

taking your hand, he led you to the center of the dance floor. the music picked up and changed from the typical waltz to something reminiscent of a tango. chengcheng grinned at you before strongly pulling you closer so that you both were chest to chest just as a traditional tango dance would have. 

not wanting to back down, you merely grinned back before wrapping your right leg around his left leg and twisting your body back sharply, causing him to dip you down lowly with your faces a mere few inches apart as you stared intensely at each other

everyone literally cleared the entire floor for y’all 

they were shookth bc things were getting spicy between you two hot damn

you quickly spun your way out of his arms, him catching your hand at the last second and pulling you back into his embrace, the two of you gliding on the marble floor with ease. during one particular part of the song, the music slowed and lowered to a suspenseful melody. falling into step, you and chengcheng slowly walked around in a circle, neither of you breaking eye contact with each other

you felt something lingering in the air between you both, a feeling you couldn’t quite put into words. it encased you both entirely, making it feel as if you two were the only ones in the room.

when the music finally sped up and reached its climax, all of a sudden there was a loud pop as white smoke began to fill the air. soon, the sounds of yelling and fighting erupted in the room followed by screaming

knowing that the mission was going according to plan (zhangjing set off harmless smoke bombs as a diversion), you feigned fear and began pulling chengcheng away and out of the room