#I miss watching tiktok for 8 hours straight.

[hannshines]

It's amazing how long I've been without internet, because the hurricane took out the internet wiring in my house 🕴️and my phone internet died and it just came back.

[popcornforone]

Christmas Wish

A Tim Rockford fan fic

I got in from the cinema tonight at about 10:30 watches a bit of tv & then went on tiktok & then couldn’t sleep. It’s now 2am & a small idea I had I’ve now almost completed a first draft of. & I think you will get the finished product soon. See this is why I have lots of fics in draft. Because bang I will get a new idea & then I’ll just write. Also I can’t believe I’m writing Tim again. Send help (but please don’t)

Synopsis: your taking your kids to see Santa but your husband isn’t sure he will make it on time. But a Santas wish box might make all your dreams come true.

Word count:3800

Warnings: DO NOT READ IF TOU ARE UNDER 18! PIV sex, breeding kink, pregnancy, swearing. Previous sexual encounters & fantasies mentioned. Husband & wife, swearing. Mentions of alcohol, teasing, crime is mentioned but not in detail, bedroom voice, Tim likes to be incontrol but he’s not a dom. cock warming, intense sex.

Thanks as always for reading peoples. All feedback is welcome.

3 rings, he always answers exactly after 3 rings no matter who it is. Today is no different.

“Detective Rockford” he answers professionally.

“Tim?” He turns red straight away & starts mouthing to the two other officers in the room with him working the case. He’s saying it’s you & it’s a family emergency.

“Ahhh hang on” he scurries out of the room & into his office down the corridor closing the door behind him. “Sorry still working the case, we’ve almost made a break through.” He says as he rubs his hand across his forehead. He always tried to think like the criminal to catch them & this case has pushed him a little. He’s often got home late exhausted & full of concern that that longer this person is on the loose, the harder it will be to find them.

“That’s not the only thing that needs to be considered” you say. He can hear babbling going on in the back ground. He’s worked out it’s your 5 year old & 2 year old. “How much later are you going to be tonight Tim?” You sound exasperated.

“Maybe an hour, so close, we’re so so close,” he then pauses “wait… I’m missing something, arent I?” He says. You falling silent down the other end of the phone confirms this. “Fuck! What am I missing?” His eyes scrunch up in anger, that he’s got caught up in his work once again. You knew being Mrs Rockford would come with moments like this, but recently it’s becoming more frequent.

“It’s 5pm at the moment, we are meant to all be meeting Santa at the North Pole Grotto at 6:30pm” you say calmly down the phone. You know annoying him by going I told you to set a reminder when you booked it 2 months ago, will piss him off. “I understand though Tim, this is a huge case. It will make our town safe. I can call them up & push it to next week if I do it in the…” Tim then hears your 5 year old son start singing jingle bells in the back ground. He knows he’s probably in his light up raindeer jumper & is so excited to see Santa tonight.

“No, you have to go. I’ll try & get there. I’m sure I’ve got the address, I’ll do my best”

“Tim I can…”

“No I can hear Jason singing in the background, don’t break his heart, I’ll make it up to him & Grace & you, especially you.” He looks at his watch. He can do this. He’s then disturbed as someone taps on the glass of his door. “Baby I gotta go, but promise me you’ll take the kids okay, even if I have to then come back to work, I’ll do my best”

“Tim I…”

“Promise me” he used his moody interrogation voice. That’s how you met. You had been a witness to a crime & he talked to you at the police station. He got no new clues out of you, but you left your number in case he needed to ask you anything else. 3 weeks later, you were handcuffed to his bed, screaming Tim’s name as he licked every inch of your pussy. His face glistening as he told you how good you tasted before he ravaged you for the next 2 days. Even detective Rockford through a sicky to pleasure his new girlfriend. That was almost 8 years ago. You knew what you were getting yourself into by having a relationship with someone like him, both work wise & sexually.

“Okay detective” you say & then sigh. He doesn’t even say bye down the phone, clearly somethings come up. You say to the beeping cancel tone “I love you baby” before Jason starts jumping about to the next Christmas song.

*

You are sat in the ‘north pole’ bouncing Grace on your lap who looks adorable in her snowman outfit. Jason is busy saying exactly what he wants Santa to get him.

“A rocket ship, lego, slime, chocolate, more chocolate…” the list keeps going.

“Yea Jason. Santa will see us in a second. He’s got lots of people to see. I think you just need to pick 3 items for today.” You say & he sits down next to you.

“What do you want for Christmas Mummy?” He asks. You had no idea your son was so thoughtful. The look on his face is genuine. He really wants to know.

“For you & your sister to have the best Christmas” you say & wrap your arms around him. His hug is pure love, the only kind of love a 5 year old can give.

“Oooh im not sure I can wrap that up, what can I actually get you?” Jason hugs you. You know what you really want but you know Jason can’t get it for you. You go to answer with something trivial, but your then interupted by a teenager dressed as an Elf.

“The Rockfords?” You stand up & go to speak.

“Yep that’s us” an echoing voice comes from down the corridor. Tim is lightly jogging your way & the beam on your face can’t be denied.

“Daddy!” Tim scopes Jason up into his arms.

“Hey sport” he gives his boy a big kiss & ruffles Graces hair as she’s almost asleep on you. “Couldn’t miss this for the world” he kisses your cheek & you turn as red as a robins breast. Tim is still in his full detective gear. Holsters & everything. It’s giving you flash backs to some previous role play. He’s previously just left his tie & the holsters on while he’s fucked you & fake interrogated you in bed. The last time he did it, he growled just before his point of climax are you on birth control, you screamed no. You didn’t know Tim had a breeding kink until that moment as he went oh we’re gonna make this stick then. He fucked you all night, even when you woke up in the morning. He was late for work that’s day & you walked slowly for a week. The man delivered though, 9 months later Grace was born.

“I’m glad you made it baby” you say to him as you enter the first room & you are both offered a mince pie. Tim bites into his & his face lights up even more.

“Oooh this tastes good, I haven’t eaten since breakfast” he says & after you’ve had a small bite of yours, you offer it to him. There’s no point rolling your eyes at Tim not eating, his job means he sometimes doesn’t stop for hours. “Thanks beautiful” he says.

You’re then asked if you’d all like to stand infront of a fake fire for a family photo. Usually Tim hates this but he sees Jason get ready to pose & smile.

“Oooh absolutely” a few sensible & also funny family photos are taken in front of the fire & you know by the time you are done with Santa, you will have the jpegs emailed across to print off at home. Tim smiles genuinely in every single photograph. It makes butterflies flutter in your stomach. Those eyes that made you fall for him, dazing in the fake fire light. So warm cozy & loving much like his hugs on a cold winters night. He sees you look & looks back into your own soft blue eyes. “Hello you” he whispers. He can see the love reflecting back to him. His hand slowly fits in yours. So large but soft. The way his thumb goes across your knuckles to start with arouses you.

“Are you all ready to meet Santa?” the elf says, bring you both back to reality.

“Yes” Jason shouts. You & Tim both nod. You’re just happy to see Tim enjoying a family moment & forgetting about work stress.

“Well let’s go” The elf lifts up the icicle beaded curtain & Jason bounds in & you & then Tim follow.

There sits Santa. On his big red chair. A large tree, 3 large sacks of gifts & a few toys on the floor. It’s in a cabin setting. Jason doesn’t move, hes star struck.

“Go on Jason” you say & he then grabs Tim’s leg feeling a little shy.

“Hohoho is that Jason Rockford?” Santa asks in his deep voice. Jason nods, but still hangs onto daddy. “& that then must be mummy & daddy & is that your little sister Grace?” He asks, rubbing his belly. His beard is magnificently white & the suit is cherry red. You knew there was a reason why people booked up this Santa experience.

“How do you know my sisters name?” Jason asks suspiciously.

“It’s my job to know everyone’s name” Santa laughs “especially those on the nice list” Jason still hasn’t budged from Tim. Tim then gets down to his knees & looks at his son.

“Come on Jason, it’s only Santa, he wants to talk to you” he gestures. Jason still says nothing, not moving, standing firm. “Didn’t you want to tell him what was on your Christmas list, you told mummy earlier didn’t you.” Jason then shakes his head. Seeing Santa might have been what he’s wanted for the last 3 weeks but a 5 year old can’t process all those emotions. “Then tell me, tell daddy.”

“Chocolate” Jason says quietly.

“Sorry sport, speak up I missed that”

“More chocolate”

“Oooh chocolate I love chocolate” Santa Ho Ho Hos again & leans into a box,” i like Milky Way”

“That’s my fave too” Jason turns his head & he sees Santa holding one. In a flash Jason is no longer star struck or shy. He is on Santas knee, telling him about his gifts he’s like & what he thinks Grace wants & the elf’s take photos.

“He’s forward like his mum” Tim whispers in your ear as you hand Grace over for the kids to have their own Santa photo.

“& shy to start with like his dad, but then once your out of the shell” you smile at him.

“Thought you like me being outgoing and adventurous” Tim says. He then does that thing with his hand, the way he rubs it around his neck always has you pining, you have no idea why, it just does.

“I want any version of you my love” you then see Santa start to wrap it up the fun.

“Now here’s a small gift” he starts & he hands one to Jason & one to you for Grace as Tim picks her up.” To keep you going until Christmas night okay”

“Wow really, thanks Santa” Jason hugs him & we thank him too.

“Don’t forget to put your Christmas wishes in the box on your way out. Ho Ho Ho & Merry Christmas” he says & your family leave the room.

You look at the wish box & get Jason to write his down & you do one for Grace. But then you see Tim with a piece of paper.

“Baby what are you…”

“You need to do one too” he says as take a photo of his before he drops his in the box “otherwise your Christmas wish won’t come true” you smile & do the same.

“Okay Tim” after dropping your wish into the box, you leave as a family & Tim helps you get the kids in the car, once you get to the car park.

“Are you coming home” you ask being hopeful.

“No I’m not, I have to go back, I’ve got a murderer interview to conduct.”

“You found them”you say excitedly.

“Yes, the team left to arrest him while I’ve been here, but I promise to not be too late okay” you can tell by the looks of it in his eyes that he wants to do nothing more than follow you & the kids home right now. Both will be sound asleep before he gets home tonight, there’s even a chance you might be.

“It’s okay baby, I get It” you smile & go to open your car door but he blocks you getting into it. Your eyes connect & the kiss Tim gives is sweet & soft & your gloved hands graze his beard. You don’t want this kiss to end. He looks full of both sorrow & love as the kiss breaks.

“I love you” Tim says & he traces his thumb across your lips & leaves you standing by the car as he walks off to go get in his.

*

Christmas Day madness has happened & you get into bed in your new pink fleece snoopy pyjamas that you got for Christmas. The clean up can start tomorrow. Your parents have agreed to get up if the kids are an issue tonight. In walks Tim into the bedroom in his dark blue pinstripe Pyjamas & he gets under the duvet with you & kisses your cheek.

“I’ve got 1 more Christmas gift for you baby & I think you have one for me”he says with a mischievous look in his eyes.

“Tim you know that we were always going to have…”

“No no nope, im not talking about sex” he says & he grabs his phone. “I want to show you what my Christmas wish was that I asked Santa for.” Your eyes dilate. You’d forgotten you did that on the evening you met Santa but now you’re excited to see what his was & to share yours.

“Really Tim?” You say excitedly & move close to him under the duvet. Your hand goes for his groin automatically, you know full well that sex is also on the cards, as you slip your hand beneath his bottoms. He lets out a small deep moan & you’re not just hot due to your new fluffy sleep wear. You want your husband, & he wants his wife.

“Y…ye…oooh yes” he says. You’re not sure if that’s a reaponse to sharing or your hand working his length or both, but the way his eyebrows twitch & the more breathing he does you think it’s more from arousal. He then grabs your hand & takes it away. “I don’t want to cum already” he mumbles & pulls you in so your head rests on his top. Such a firm chest & the broadest shoulders tower above you.

He scrolls through his photos.

“Your not worried you wish won’t come true baby”

“Ooh sweetheart” Tim kisses your forehead “it’s Christmas it’s a time for miracles” he says cockily.

“Did you just try & be Hans Gruber?” You ask & you both giggle.

“Guilty as charged” he says & then he flips his phone around & you look at what he wrote on the piece of paper. Your eyes well up.

For my families love & understanding everyday, not just at Christmas.

Your arms fling around his neck & you kiss him hard. So deep so passionate so intense.

“You’ve always had that Tim”

“I know, I just sometimes take it for granted” the way his hand strokes your hair sends a sensation down your spine. His lips are soft as the keep making contact with yours.

“Do you…”

“After this” he moans as he reaches the hem of your fleece top, always a man who knows what he wants. A man who gets results. He might not be in his detective gear right now, but it wasn’t the detective fantasy you fell in love with 8 years ago. It was those big eyes, that smoulder, the messy hair, the deep sexual voice, those large hands that make your body do extraordinary things. You love Tim Rockford, he never had to be a detective to get you in bed, although now that is sometimes useful.

Your pyjamas are off before his & he kisses your tummy. Your stretch marks always get the first kisses just before he slips inside you. You still don’t like them & always gasp when he kisses them.

“There’s nothing sexier than these baby, they made the two best things in my life, be proud” his top has gone & his bottoms follow quickly. His long length dripping already. You’re so aroused that you know you won’t need lube tonight. The way his hands caress your hips as he goes between your legs. You feel the tip tease your clit & the moan you let out has Tim licking his lip.”okay maybe that noise is, make that noise again” he breaches you. He’s not fully in but it has you hand clutching the pillow. He always makes you stretch. He likes to go in slowly & sensually. You oblige & moan again. “That’s my good girl, you’re on my nice list” the next rock he’s almost fully inside. You’re already clamping around him. He feels so good.

“a nice list?” You stutter.

“Yes” the next thrust he’s completely inside you & you cry his name. “You are such a good girl except when it comes to sex, then your naughty but you do that to make me happy” he raises his eyebrows as his next thrusts hits the soft spot. The one that makes you see starts. You close your eyes, pleasure taking over as he slowly rocks into you & your body responds enjoying each movement. Your eyes open after an extraordinary kiss. He feels even deeper inside you tonight. You’re extra sensitive to each graze inside your core.

He lowers himself so he’s all but lying on top of you. Just hoovering slightly. His hands grab either side of the pillow by your head. You lift your hands up & hold his face, & look directly into his eyes. The sweat glistening off his head. His body moving in a rhythm that’s unmatched. It makes you purr.

“Baby”

“Oooh baby”

It’s intense staring into each others eyes. The way he works his hips. Your friction against him has you whimpering.

“Ooooh yes yes yes yes don’t stop, keep going oooh fuck” your heart races.

“Oooh you like that, fuck you do” those massive brown eyes are the largest you’ve ever seen. He’s lost in his lust & desire for you. That turns you on even more.

“Tim oh Tim. Yes Tim”

“You take me so well baby” one of the hands stops gripping the pillow & lightly goes around your neck. Each thrust deep. It hits the spot without fail. You feel extraordinarily sexy as his grinds his teeth. The beads of sweat drip onto your chest.

“Keep going im so close” you just about get the words out. His grip tightens & you start gasping & he is pulsing. You’re sure the bed is creaking. You’re hoping no one can hear your collective moans.

“You wanna cum?” Tim growls as his other hand tugs at your hair. “Do you think you’ve earnt it? Do you want to drench me? Make me spill inside you?” you love it when he gets in the zone & starts using his menacing voice. Criminals cave in for this tone but you squirt when he gets it right. What brings nightmares for others makes you orgasm.

“Ye yea…. Yess”

“If I cum your gonna keep me warm, your going to sleep all night with my hard throbbing cock buried inside you. We’re gonna stimulate you so you stay wet & I stay hard. You’re gonna be cock drunk when you wake up on Boxing Day, my naughty wife.” You hear these words escape Tim’s mouth but they don’t make sense. You’ve lost all cognitive thoughts. Your about to scream so that everyone knows your husband has satisfied you. “Cum baby, cum for your hubby”

The way you scream Tim’s name is deep & low, because you are almost speechless. You gush & drench his length as he keeps going inside you. Even if you weren’t speechless, nothing could describe what you’re experiencing right now.

“Yes baby, that’s my girl, oooh fuck oooh god oooh yesssss” Tim screams. His hand squeezes once more around your neck, his sperm flows inside you, filling you up. His body also juddering, from the extreme pleasure. He sharply let’s go of your neck & you gasp for as much air as you can in 3 seconds before your mouth is occupied with his. Your bodies roll you both out of your highs, slow rocks to calm you down. His hands are in your hair & on your breasts. Yours are also in his hair & stroking that small little patch he has in his beard, your favourite place for cheeky kisses. Eventually your bodies do stop rocking & your collective panting goes quiet. There is a squelching noice from his penis still semi hard inside your.

“Baby” you eventually say & flutter your eyes open.

“Ooh baby in deed” he goes to roll off you & then remembers his promise. You moan slightly as he withdraws but he is swiftly back inside you semi hard, being your big spoon. Even like this he feels good inside you. Cock warming is often something you do as you fall asleep after sex.

“Was that the best Christmas gift?”Tim whispers.

“Well it’s either that or the watch?” You giggle as he moves your hair to the side to kiss your neck. Such small soft little pecks.

“See we can make everyone’s Christmas wish come true” he says. “Hang on you never showed me what you asked santa for”

“Did I not?”

“No we got so into the moment after my reveal that we forgot”

“Hmmm”you reach your arm out & grab your phone. A smile comes across your face. “Promise to not over react?” You say with a little snigger.

“Baby what could…” Tim then looks & the photo on the phone startled. He takes it from you & stares at it. He then throws it down the end of the bed. His hands trail down your body as harder kisses fill your neck & cheek. “Seriously?” You nod “but today? How?” He’s really shocked.

“I was in charge” you smile & turn your head around so his lips can find yours.

“My cleaver girl”

You slowly both nod off to sleep exhausted, his cock still inside you, the kisses eventually stop. His hand also stops rubbing his most favourite place of all. Eventually your phone screen turns off. Your wish was always going to be true.

For Jason & Grace to love their new sibling, who should be here come August.

[nerd-cat-rambles]

Spotify Wrapped 2020 - present

Okay let's judge my spotify wrappeds one at a time, I started Spotify in 2020, so I'll start there ig... I was just a kid and had some cringe ass music on my roster... thanks roblox/minecraft/social media influence in general!!!

Okay 2020...

Dua Lipa - I was totally a big fan of that song help idk why???

NOT THE PERCY JACKSON PHASE *crying*

Spice girls... *sobbing into my pillow - I GREW UP ON MY MUMS MUSIC TASTE ALRIGHT? -

Heart Attack - This song gives me a heart attack every time it's played...

ROXANNE IS A BANGER STILL, IDC IT'S STILL A BANGER!

Pitch Perfect? I was a very silly kid :3

No fuck fuck fuck the evidence is there I'm so scared

I used to unironically listen to Not Your Barbie Girl by Ava Max because of Tiktok POVS and stuff...

9. Sorry Not Sorry - Erm okay girlboss???

10. Don't Call me Up - It's actually a pretty good song tbh like ngl...

11. ... I WASN'T EVEN A HARRY POTTER FAN? HOW DID THIS GET ON HERE?!

12. No why are the Pitch Perfect songs still here...

13. Same as last, save me...

14. OOH EDGY BILLIE EILISH OMG SHIVER ME TIMBAS SCAWWYY!

15. I.. used to listen to this unironically... and vibe to it... never gonna give you *gets fucking shot on site*

16. I HATE THIS STUPID SONG, I AM NOT A SUCKER FOR IT EW WHAT THE FU-

17. "I PUT YOU INNNN PUT YOU INNN PUT YOU IN YOUR PLACE!!!" *headboppable backing track plays*

Erm okay so I've seen enough because there's 100 songs here what the sigma flip.

2021!

How is this my top song I CANNOT STAND IT HELP OMFG DRIVERS LISCENCE I HATE THE SONG???

Random Maretu song insert? Oh my god I had just started watching anime around then too...

I HATE THAT STUPID SHUT UP AND DANCE SONG THAT STUPID LADY IN THE STUPID MUSIC VIDEO WAS PROBABLY MY GAY AWAKENING (<- I'm straight at the moment but was once very indecisive about my sexuality)

4. Billie Eilish again, okay edgy girl...

5. I USED TO CRY TO THIS SONG BECAUSE OF THE ADOPT ME POVS??? "Loving you is a losing game!!!" <- *jumps off adopt me bridge because her pet ran away or smth*

6. Okay I actually enjoyed Melanie Martinez as a kid??? That's actually cool. BIG FLEX!!!

7. Why was I so edgy... Roar? OH MY GOD THIS SONG GIVES ME WAR FLASHBACKS I CAN SING ALL OF IT- I GET TIRED AND I GET SICK AND I LOSE THE STRENGTH TO MOVE I CAN'T HANDLE CHANGE I CAN'T HANDLE CHANGE

8. Lady Gaga is an icon stfu if you don't think so she devours every tiktok trend her song becomes.

SPECIAL MENTION TO THE CRANBERRIES FOR MAKING IT ON THE LIST!!! And the Imposter Interceptible song "I found a body beside the reactor"

Gacha kid confirmed moment.

WRAP ME IN PLASTIC AND MAKE ME SHINE!!! I was a victim of those ROBLOX Piggy edits...

AIGHT 2022!!!

I think this song is fire but I listened to it too much... Kinneret ILYSM ur so cool babes

MITSKI OMG I LOVE MITSKI!!!

Girl in Red... oh my god *sobs uncontrollably* I still love this song tbh.

BA-BA-BACK STABBER!!! Yeah gacha kid from 2018 and I'm admitting it...

GIRL IN RED AGAIN???

Oh my god... MICHELLLEEEE MICHELLLLEE YOU ARE A MONSTER FROM HEEEE-EEE-EEELLL!

Augh clairo my beloved ur so cool

I know all the words to this song guys...

AND NOW TO MY 2022 GACHA PHASE, RIP I NEVER MISSED YOU

I'm not getting into this shit bro...

2023!

So the only reason some of these songs are here... because I made this like, one hour playlist that I had on loop every single day for a couple of weeks. RIP-

I LISTENED TO I WANNA BE YOURS 57 TIMES LAST YEAR WHAT THE FU-

I loved this song sm, I love you Lana.

I had an MM2 playlist, and I played to these songs

same as last...

VOID! Augh this song was so special to me...

Lady gaga makes a comeback on my wrapped?

LANA MY BELOVED LANA! I love this song sm as well!

Special mention to this one minute song of Mondo's execution making it to 71st, beating 3 of my favourite bands, and my favourite Lana song. That's fucking crazy bro...

Present Day:

For your information, my music taste changes every 5 minutes... so I don't listen to all of these songs anymore. I was a cringe kid with minecraft parody songs making it to the top 100... yikes.

For your information, these are my more current liked songs... yes I listen to Kanye... no I do not support his actions... can I just say special mention to Ayesha Erotica, I did listen to her music and have since 2021. (I know that specifically because Literal Legend connected from my headphones to the family care bluetooth on an 8 hour roadtrip with my parents and sister... #original experience?)

Yeah that's all bye :3

[simplee-dreaming]

The Great Escape

A/N: So this was requested by an anon and I had so much fun writing it, I think it's the longest fic I've ever written so I hope you enjoy! (Also, reading back over this, I realised I've mentioned Vision and Jarvis in the same story which I know isn't possible but I cba to change it because I love them both...even though they're technically the same...)

Word count: 2458

Summary: The reader tries to sneak out to a party, but Tony, Steve and Bucky are onto her.

-----------------------------------

“Are you coming tonight or what?” Your friend asked at the other end of the phone.

“Yes, yes I am. I’m just thinking of ways to escape without being caught.” You replied.

“You’re not in a prison, just walk out of the front door,” they said.

“I wish it were that easy. Tony’s already said no to me going so he’s gonna be on high alert. Don’t worry, I’ll find a way,” You said.

“Okay, meet me outside the party at 9, no later. Good luck, agent Y/L/N” your friend teased.

“Shut up, I’ll see you later.” You hung up the phone. It was half 5 in the evening and it took about 45 minutes to get to the party by walking. You decided you were gonna attempt to leave at quarter to 8, so you would have time to escape without being seen and enjoy a gentle stroll to the party.

“Everyone normally eats dinner about 6, then they tend to go off and do their own thing. This should be a doddle, right?” You thought to yourself.

At 6, everyone sat round the table together to eat.

“So, what’s everyone doing after this?” You asked, trying to work out everyone’s movements.

“I’ll be working on my latest model,” said Tony, shovelling a load of pasta into his mouth.

“I’ll be in the gym, pumping iron,” said Bucky.

“Vis and I have got a date night booked,” said Wanda. Sam made gagging noises next to them.

“Are you gymming too, Steve?” asked Bucky before spilling pasta sauce on his leg.

“Nah I did my workout earlier. I may chill with a film. Fancy joining me, Y/N?” He asked.

Shit. That backfired.

“Oh, uh, thanks but I can’t. I said I’ll phone some friends tonight.” You said, thinking quickly.

“Surely that won’t take long though, would it?”

You paused. Tony looked at you suspiciously.

“You know Y/N, she won’t shut up once she gets talking to her friends.” Peter piped up. You relaxed.

“Yeah, exactly. I’ll be up there for hours.” You said.

“Aren’t they all going to this party you talked about?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Uh, no, not this lot. This is the nerd group I’m part of, they don’t party.” You said quickly. Tony grunted but said nothing more.

Once everyone finished eating, you raced back upstairs to find an outfit. Once you had gotten changed and done your hair and makeup, it was quarter past 7. Half an hour before you were due to leave. You were sat on your bed, scrolling through TikTok until half past 7.

“Sod this,” you thought. Waiting around for any longer would heighten your anxiety so you decided to put your plan into action now.

You left your room and decided to scan all exits of the building to see which one was the best option to use.

“Sir, I don’t mean to alarm you but Y/N seems to be acting pretty suspiciously,” Jarvis informed Tony. Tony was in his lab working on his latest project.

“What do you mean suspicious?” Tony asked.

“She’s wandering back and forth around the compound.” Jarvis replied.

“Maybe she’s just taking a walk.” Tony said.

“Sir, she’s wearing make-up.” Jarvis informed him. Tony stopped what he was doing.

“Makeup? She never wears makeup unless…” Tony stopped in his tracks.

“Jarvis, does Y/N appear to be scanning all the exits?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And does she look dressed up?”

“Yes, sir.”

“That little minx.” Tony said. “Jarvis, get Steve and Bucky up here please.”

“Of course, sir.”

A few minutes later, Bucky and Steve appeared in Tony’s lab.

“What’s up?” asked Steve.

“I’ve got a mission for you both. Y/N is trying to sneak out of the compound to get to this party of hers tonight. I’ve got eyes on her through Jarvis but I need your help to stop her leaving.”

“Tony, she’s just going to a party. What’s the big deal?” Bucky asked.

“The big deal is that she’s 16 and she’s going to a big party where there will be loads of people and most likely alcohol...or worse. Plus she’s already asked me if she can go and I’ve already said no so now she’s disobeying me.” Tony said.

“Oh. Right.” Bucky replied.

“Here are some ear pieces, I’ll stay here and tell you where she is and you go and stop her from leaving,”

“Roger that,” Steve said. “Mission: Trap Y/N is go.” He saluted Tony and left the room with Bucky. Tony sighed.

“Alright Tony, where she at?” Bucky asked quietly.

“Jarvis, I need eyes on Y/N.” Tony said.

“Sir, she is currently heading to the north exit.”

“North exit guys,” Tony spoke into their ear pieces.

“I’m closer, I got this.” Steve said. He quietly ran to the north corridor and saw you walking to the exit.

“Hey you, finished your phone call already?” He asked. You jumped and turned.

“Oh, uh, yeah, um, I was just going for a walk.” You said.

“Oh sweet, I’ll join you.” Steve said.

“Oh, um, well I just wanted some alone time,” you said, hinting at him.

“I’ll be quiet, I can do with some fresh air too.”

“Actually, on second thoughts, I really need to pee so um...yeah…” you said, jogging past him and back upstairs.

Shit. Back to square one.

You gave it a minute then decided to head to the east exit.

“Guys, she’s going east.” Tony informed the boys.

“On it,” Bucky responded.

He was closer to the door than you were so he decided to open it and lean against the threshold, as if he was just admiring the garden. You turned the corner to see him stood with his back to you. You froze in your tracks.

“Dammit,” you thought to yourself. You tiptoed backwards and headed for the south exit instead.

“Nice work guys, she’s going south now.” Said Tony.

“My turn,” said Steve. He, once again, appeared the same time you did.

“Oh did you pee? Fancy going for a walk now?” He said behind you. You rolled your eyes and turned around.

“Hey, um, yeah I did, but um I’ve changed my mind I don’t actually wanna walk anywhere now.”

“But you’re heading for the exit?”

“Uh, yeah, um...I...I got lost.” You said, shrugging.

“Lost? You’ve been here for 16 years…”

“Yeah, um, bit forgetful it seems,” you laughed nervously, “alright well back I go.”

You walked past him. Once you knew you were out of sight, you headed for the final exit to the west of the building.

“Alright guys…” Tony began.

“Going west, got it,” Bucky finished. He headed in your direction and deliberately walked straight into you.

“Whoa, watch where you’re going.” He teased.

“Sorry Buck,” you responded.

“Where exactly are you going?”

“Just going to get a drink then back to my room,” you lied.

“....dressed up like that?” He asked. You blushed.

“Um, yeah, we decided to dress nicely for our call earlier. Bit of a treat, you know?” You said.

“So...what are you doing at the exit if you’re getting a drink?”

“Thought I’d go around the outside to get some fresh air before entering the kitchen.” You lied, again.

“Without me?!” Steve said. You jumped.

“Oh uh, hey, um, yeah I changed my mind again.”

“Well can I at least join you this time?”

“Oh, uh..”

“What do you mean this time?” Bucky asked.

“Well I found her at both the north and south exits and she couldn’t decide whether she wanted to go for a walk or not. I offered my company and she said no.” He said.

“Maybe that’s why she said no.” Bucky teased. You giggled a little.

“So how come Steve caught you at the north and south exits and I caught you at this one and the east exit?” Bucky asked.

“Oh, I...um...I...wait, how did you know I was at the east exit?” You asked.

“Because we have eyes everywhere, Y/N.” Tony said, appearing behind Steve. He held up his tablet that contained Jarvis’ map. “I told them to follow you.”

“What? Why?” You asked.

“Because, you’re sneaking out to that party. Don’t think you can outsmart Jarvis now, Y/N.”

“Damn you, Jarvis.” you mumbled under your breath.

“I have been programmed to protect everyone in this compound, especially children.” Jarvis said over the speakers. Bucky, Steve and Tony all laughed.

“Oh very funny. I’m not a child.” You said, sarcastically.

“No you’re not, but you’re also not 18 yet which means you’re still legally under our care. And when I say you can’t go to a party, it means you cannot go to a party.” Tony said, taking a step towards you.

“But Tony, if I miss out I won’t be one of the cool kids.” You said.

“You live with all the cool kids here.” said Bucky, you rolled your eyes at him.

“I can’t believe you disobeyed me and tried to sneak past even Jarvis.” Tony said.

“I’m sorry for disobeying you, I really am. I just...I need to go to this. People are waiting for me.” You pleaded.

“No. Maybe I would have considered it if you didn’t break my trust. But now I want an apology.”

“I just said sorry.”

“No no, I want a proper apology.”

“What do you mean by a proper apology?” You asked.

Tony took a step towards you and you subconsciously backed away.

“Come here.” He said, sternly. You looked to Steve and Bucky for help but they just kept a poker face. You stepped closer to Tony.

“Now, I need to make sure you mean your apology and that you’re not going to break my trust again. Any ideas on how I’ll do that?” Tony asked.

“By putting a Jarvis tracker on me….oh wait,” you said, sarcastically. Bucky chuckled. Tony cleared his throat.

“Keep talking like that and this will be much worse for you.” Tony said.

“What will?” You asked.

“This.” Tony said. In one swift motion he had swooped you up and pinned you to the ground, careful not to hurt you in the process.

“What the hell?!” You complained, now trapped under Tony.

“I’m not going to stop until I know you’ve learned your lesson.” He informed.

“Stop what??” You asked. He pulled your arms up and pinned them above your head. He then took a single finger and wiggled it into your armpit. You instantly started giggling.

“Nononono wahait shit plehease,” you giggled.

“Not until I know your apology is sincere.” He said, wiggling another finger into your armpit.

“Please please please I am sohohorry,”

“No you’re not, not yet.” He said. With that, he let go of your arms and stuck both hands into your armpits. You pulled your arms straight down, trapping his hands in the process.

“WAIT NO PLEASE!” You screamed as he tickled deep into your armpits. Bucky and Steve both awed at your giggling mess.

"Come join, agents. You deserve some down time too.” Tony said to Steve and Bucky. They exchanged a look and smiled before walking over to you.

“NO NO NO NOT YOU!” You screamed, watching them approach. Tony was still tickling your armpits so Steve sat to the side and started kneading your hips. Bucky grabbed your legs and went for the back of your knees. You yelped and screamed and arched your body violently.

“AHAHAHAHA NOHOHO STOHOHOP!” You cried.

“Not until you’ve learned your lesson.” Tony repeated.

“I HAHAHAHAVE!” You cried.

“What do you think guys? Has she?” Tony asked the others. They both said “no” in unison. “Right then,” Tony continued.

He removed his hands from your armpits and started tickling your neck. You hunched up your shoulders and squealed. Steve noticed you were trying to pull Tony’s hands away so he shuffled up next to your head, grabbed your arms, pinned them above your head again and sat on them.

“WHAT THE HEHEHELL?!” You screamed, now unable to protect yourself from Tony. Steve gave an evil laugh then proceeded to drill his fingers into your armpits. You screamed louder than ever and frantically tried to twist away.

“NAHAHAHAHAHA PLEHEHEHEASE!” Tears started forming in your eyes as the boys tortured you. Bucky adjusted himself so he was now sat on your legs. Having just taken your shoes off, he was now tickling the soles of your feet.

“PLEHEHEHEHEASE I’M SO SOHOHOHORRY!” You yelled through the laughter. Tony felt your legs trying to move and looked over his shoulder to find Bucky holding your toes and scratching at your soles. You screamed loudly again and fell into silent laughter, your face going bright red.

Tony looked at Steve and they both stopped instantly, but you were still screaming. They looked over and realised Bucky was still going, tickling both of your feet simultaneously.

“Buck, ease up now, don’t kill her.” Steve said.

“Oops,” said Bucky, climbing off your legs. Steve got off of your arms but Tony was still sat on your waist.

“I….I...I really am sorry, Tony.” You breathed out.

“I believe you,” he said. “Will you do it again?”

“Absolutely not,” You giggled softly.

“Good.” He climbed off of you and helped you up.

“What time does this party start?” He asked. You looked at your watch, it was now half 8 .

“In half an hour,” you said.

“Go and fix your hair and makeup. I’ll drive you there.” He said.

“Really?” You asked.

“Yes, really. I was too hard on you earlier. But you’re still only 16 so I’ll be collecting you at midnight, okay?”

You stood up and smiled at the three of them. Then you thought for a moment.

“No.” You said.

“Excuse me?” Tony responded.

“I’m not gonna go. I want to spend the night with my family.” You said. Bucky clutched his heart and let out a long “awww”, which made you giggle.

“Movie and snacks?” Tony asked.

“Movie and snacks.” You agreed.

You all walked back down the corridor together.

“So, does this mean you’re definitely not going for a walk?” Steve teased. You laughed and elbowed him in the ribs. He put his arm around you.

“Wait, let me get changed into something more comfy,” you said, running up the stairs. When you came back down, you got your phone out and messaged your friend.

“Sorry, can’t make it, got caught. See you another time.”

You then placed your phone on the side and sat down between Tony and Steve.

One by one, the other avengers slowly joined your little film group. It really was the perfect family night.

[sorryjustafangirl]

it’s a love story

a/n:  this is my submission for the @doubleminor​’s #hockeychallengemusic ! im so so super late but i finally had the time to write this. the toronto six of the nwhl have this as their winning song and i loved watching them celebrate this season. and apparently all i can write is matty tkachuk but i felt he really fit this idea

Pairing: Matthew Tkachuk x reader

Work count: 2.2k+

warnings: mentions of the pandemic and one swear but other than that just fluff :)

disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and real person fiction if you don’t like that, please don’t read! also the gif isn’t mine! all credit to the fantastic gif-maker!

prompt: choose an official team/player goal song and make something using that goal song // found here 

He had wanted the proposal to be perfect. The moment he knew you were the one he wanted to marry, he asked your best friend for everything you had ever mentioned about a proposal. You were only going to get proposed to once, and he wanted to make sure it was perfect. 

Secluded, yet meaningful, place? Check. 

Get it on camera? Check. 

Cute outfit with nails done? Check. 

But a global pandemic was not in his plan. Not even close. 

When the season had got put on pause, his parents suggested he come back to St. Louis to spend time with them, since Brady was coming back too. He was hesitant to go considering you were still going into the office for an essential project, but you assured him that he should go spend time with his family. He didn't get to see them a lot, and you knew he missed them. When he packed, he made sure to take the little velvet box and shove it between his socks. He didn't want to risk you finding it while he was away. 

A couple weeks later, after many FaceTimes and virtual date nights, you finished your project and work gave you the all clear to work from home. A two week quarantine and one plane ride later, you had joined him in St. Louis. You were still working, but working from the Tkachuk's home and with your boyfriend was much better than working alone in your shared apartment. 

Since you had joined the family, Taryn had noticed her oldest brother was a little jumpier than usual. Before, he was more carefree, aside from the occasional moping, and he definitely wasn't making sure his bedroom door was closed whenever he went in there alone. But now? It seemed odd. He wasn't moping, but he had those moments when he seemed too sad for it just to be about the season.  

So after Matthew's third sigh and retreat to his room while you were working, she decided it was time for an intervention. She quietly followed him to his room, where he methodically closed it and made sure it clicked. 

***

It was the second time today Matthew had looked at the box today. He knew he was torturing himself, opening the box to look at the ring he had picked out. It wasn't too flashy, something just your style. He remembered the way his heart jumped when he saw it in the store. It instantly reminded him of you and he just knew it was the one. It was like he couldn't help himself, looking at the box another time.

You could’ve already been engaged by now. The two of you could’ve been looking at venues and dates and even if he said he never really cared about that stuff… he couldn’t help but long for those things, because it would mean it was real. The two of you would be getting married, and he’d get to be your husband. 

But instead of being engaged, he’d just have to stare at the ring and wish he could make this all go away so he could give you the proposal you’ve always wanted. He relived the time he knew you were the one, anything to remind him that you wouldn’t mind waiting until this pandemic was over to get engaged. 

It was a home game against the Senators. Nothing speculator, just a regular game that they unfortunately lost in OT. Because it was against the Sens, and because he scored the only goal of the game, Matt knew he’d be chosen for press. He was tired, and there was nothing he wanted more than to see his family who had made the trek out to Calgary to see the boys play. He left the dressing room with his tie a little crumpled from the rush to meet them. 

He turned the corner to see Taryn sitting on a bench, with Brady standing with his parents, probably cracking a joke based on the way his mom was playfully glaring at Brady while his dad laughed loudly. His mood picked up a little after the interview and the loss.

As he got closer, he realized that Taryn wasn’t sitting alone. You were sitting there, your head resting against her shoulder, your eyes slightly closed. He stopped in his tracks when he saw your work bag sitting in your lap and your suitcase beside you. Your flight was supposed to get in around 8 and he had insisted that you just meet him at home after the game. This work trip had been horrible, your co-worker throwing you under the bus in a meeting with executives on a project he didn’t work on. You deserved to be relaxing with a glass of wine in the sanctity of your shared apartment. But you were here, at his game, straight from the airport, laughing with his family despite your drooping eyes. He had never felt more loved than he did right there. 

A knock startled him from his thoughts. 

“Uhh... just a second!” He snapped the ring box shut and quickly stood up from the bed to shove it in his drawer. Taryn popped her head in to see him very suspiciously standing in front of his dresser.

“It’s just me, dork. What are you doing?” She entered his room, making herself comfy on his bed. He scoffed, and closed the door behind his sister. 

“I’m not doing anything. What are you doing?” He went back to standing by the dresser and Taryn rolled her eyes.

“That’s exactly it, you’re doing nothing. Normally, when we’re all home you’re like bouncing off the walls. Like I know this time it’s different but Y/n came too so I thought… I don’t know, you just seem off but Brady didn’t think so and I didn’t want to worry Mom… so like, what’s going on? Is everything okay? Are you and Y/n fighting?” 

His eyes bugged out and Taryn would have laughed if she wasn’t so serious. “What no! We’re fine! We’re fine, why-why would you say that?” 

“You’ve been quiet Matt. You’re never quiet, especially when Brady’s home with us.” He rolled his eyes and she huffed at her older brother. “You know it’s true! So... what’s going on?” He sighed and turned to find the box from the drawer. He looked down at the velvet in his hands as he sat on the edge of the bed. Taryn moved to be sitting beside him and gasped quietly. 

“Is that...?” 

“Yeah. I was going to...you know, before the world went to shit. I had it all planned out too. The weather was getting warmer and there’s this hiking trail we like in Banff, it’s only like an hour drive. There’s this perfect spot where I could prop my phone up so I could get it on camera, just like they wanted. But now... I don’t know what I’m going to do.” 

“Do you still want to, you know, propose?” 

“’Course I do. Honestly, I want nothing more. But, they deserve it to be perfect, you know? And like, I don’t know how I could surprise them here, because we’ve been chilling in the same sweatpants for the past week! Asking them to get dressed up would seem suspicious and I want it to be a surprise,”

“Could… could I help you? I might have an idea…” She grinned towards her brother, his eyes brightening at the idea of marrying you. 

***

“Y/N, do you want to do a TikTok with me?” She called to you from across the Tkachuk’s backyard. Taryn must’ve been feeling the quarantine because yesterday the two of you did your nails together, which prompted you to, for once, put on a pair of pants that weren’t Matty’s sweatpants and do your hair, so you had no problem setting down your book and hopping up from your seat to join her. She squealed and you laughed as you joined her. 

“It’s so easy! I promise! So, it’s to a remix of Taylor Swift’s ‘Love Story’ and the only set in stone parts are that you actually kneel when she says ‘knelt to the ground’ and then the camera will start to pull away and then you just freestyle! We can do a couple practice ones before we film it for real, if you want?” 

“Yes, please, you have severely overestimated my dancing skills,” you laughed. Right at that moment, Matthew came out of the house with a Bud Light in his hand. He placed it on the edge of the firepit before walking over to you.

“What’s got you all cracked up?” He pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“Taryn thinks I’m a good enough dancer to film this TikTok on my first try,” He grinned at you. 

“A TikTok you say? Can I do it too? If you can do it surely it’s easy enough for me,” You gave him a playful eye roll and laughed. 

“How bored are you to want to film a TikTok?” 

“I want to spend time with my girlfriend, is that a crime?” He smirked and you cracked a smile.  

Taryn spoke up. “Hey no, this would be perfect! I need to move the camera away from you when you’re dancing anyways, and this way you won’t be alone. And you’ll get Matt’s dancing on camera for future blackmail!” You laughed at her comment and slugged him lightly in the arm. 

“Game on, we’ll see who's the better dancer after this,” He just laughed and then told you to tell what the heck he was doing for this dance. After a while, the two of you were ready to film. 

Taryn got behind her phone and started the music. You got into position and bumped Matthew’s hip before facing the camera. 

Is this in my head, I don’t know what to think. He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said

You knelt down and pretended to open a ring box, while Matthew pulled out the box he’d been hiding for six months. 

Marry me Juliet, you’ll never have to be alone

You started to dance as Taryn pulled the camera away from the both of you. Lost in the music, you didn’t seem to notice that Matthew was still on one knee, an adoring smile on his face. 

“Y/n,” 

I love you and that’s all I really know

You stopped dancing and glanced to your side. “Oh my god,” Your hands flew to cover your mouth as you saw Matt still on one knee, but with a black box in his hands. “Are you joking?”

“Not joking, baby, I promise.” He opened the box to reveal the most beautiful ring you had ever seen. It was classy, with just enough bling to catch your eye and go with the rest of your jewelry. Your eyes filled with tears as he started to speak. 

“Y/n, you are the best person I have ever met. I never thought someone would be willing to put up with me, not with my job and the media and how I play my game, but then I met you, and it’s like the whole world shifted. I have fallen more in love with you every day, even the past few days when we do the same thing every day. I love you so much, babe, and all I want is to keep being your person. I know my job means I’ll have to leave sometimes, but with me, with this, I promise you’ll never be alone. I want to be your husband and I want us to have little mini-us’s running around, well really mini-you’s but with my hair, because let’s face it, they aren’t escaping the curls,” You let out a teary laugh, and you could see his shoulder visibly relax a little. “When I look to my future, all I see is you. You are my future. And I know this isn’t perfect or even ideal but..”

“No, no, Matty, it’s perfect.” You whispered, your eyes full of tears. “It’s perfect because it’s with you.”

His grin widened if that was possible, and he looked down at the box in his hands before up to you. “If that’s the case, then Y/n, will you make me the happiest man on Earth and marry me?” 

“Yes! Yes, yes, of course,” You bent down to kiss him, leaving your tears on his cheek when you pulled away. He slipped the ring onto your finger and swept you into a bear hug. “Oh my gosh, we’re going to get married!”

“It’s you and me, baby, for the rest of our lives.” He tried to smirk, but it didn’t last long, a smile covering it as the euphoria overcame him. 

“Okay, okay, show me the ring!! Matthew didn’t tell me he was proposing!” Chantel came out in the backyard with a bright grin on her face. You couldn’t contain the smile on your face and the two of you admired the ring together. 

“I didn’t tell Dad either, don’t get offended,” Matthew said, coming over to meet the both of you. 

“Oh, you liar! You totally called me and asked me for advice.” Keith chimed in with a laugh. “Granted, you never told me you were going to do it today… but I’m happy for you kids.”

“I didn’t think he’d ever get the guts to propose, sorry for the wait Y/n,” Brady chirped, earning a whack from his mother. 

“I don’t mind, he’s worth the wait.” You looked to your fiancé, only to find him already looking at you, his blue eyes gleaming full of warmth. “So worth the wait.”

let me know what you think! thanks for reading!

[creepytoes88]

WARNING ⚠️- this is absolutely FILTHY like I need to go to church for real. like the last one is rainbows and kittens compared to this one y’all 😰🥴 sorry for any grammar mistakes or miss spelling

PSA- y/n in this smut is a famous TikTok weeb and she doesn’t understand how famous she is yet and Vinnie has a fat Crush on her readers to find out more 😈 and covid doesn’t exist in these obviously

https://youtu.be/NocXEwsJGOQi

Song/dance I’m talking about 👆

Vinnie’s POV

I watch her dance again I’ve watched it 8 or 9 times. Her baby blue thigh high socks and her lace pink skirt. The little bit of thigh poking out between the two driving me crazy the thoughts going right to my downstairs area. I groan and close TikTok I can’t keep thinking these things about y/n it’s not right I then hop out of bed and head downstairs to get some breakfast and coffee. When I get downstairs and step into the kitchen J immediately yells to me from the living room “DID YOU SEE HOW HOT Y/N LOOKS IN HER LAST TIKTOK!” Before I could answer Anthony come out of his room and gets something from the fridge “Avani is coming over and she’s bringing a friend that’s moving in with her, apparently she’s shy so everyone is nice I’m not getting bitched at cause you all couldn’t keep your dicks in your pants and made her uncomfortable” we all nod in agreement I take my muffin and coffee up to my room and watch some tv.

Y/n POV

I take a deep breath as I step off the gate moving to LA was a big move but it’s for the best I skip baggage claim because all of my stuff should be at Avani’s house by now. I pull my phone out of my carry on but before I could call Avani and see if she’s here yet but before I could I hear my name being called I turn around and see some boys around my age coming towards waving at me I wait and we take pictures I say goodbye as we walk away and call Avani’s phone “HEY! DID YOU LAND?!” “Yes I landed, I’ll be out front by the doors come find me.” I laughed as I hung up, It only took 10 minutes for Avani to find me and run at me full speed before nearly taking me and her self to the ground “WOAH!” “So how was your flight?” I laughed “very pleasant” Avani pulled away from me before looking me dead in the eyes. “There’s someone I want you to meet” point, Blank, period that was all she said before grabbing my hand and pulling me to her car. “Not that I don’t appreciate that but I’m not looking for a boyfriend.” Avani stops dead in her tracks before turning around to look at me “Then just fuck him” I stared back at her with a shocked face.

“I- wh- what “she turns back around before pulling me to her car, she unlocks the car and I throw my carry on in the back seat and get in the passenger side. Avani starts the car up then puts her seatbelt on, she turns on her blinker and waits for space so she can get out “well who is it?” I’m a little curious. Avani looks at me and smiles “I know you don’t follow him but maybe you have heard of him” she says with a big smile “his name is Vinnie and he is simply and cutest and sweetest most annoying human being on this earth” she says as she pulls out on to the road heading to her house or so I thought “no I can’t say I have heard of him.” About 30 minutes later she asks if I need to change because we’re gonna stop and pick up her boyfriend and maybe some of his friends then we’re gonna get some food. I thought about it and remembered I brought a mini skirt with me and some thigh high socks along with my doc martens and the sweatshirt I am wearing I think that’ll be fine “no I brought some clothes to change into.”

“Okay cool,” she says we sang to music before pulling in to the expansive looking neighborhood. I guess I should get used to this in a couple of months I’ll be in my own house in an expensive neighborhood just like this one (wink wink 😜) we pull into a house with a bunch of cars in the driveway. I’m kinda nervous for all the people my anxiety starts to kick in a little bit so I take a deep breath “if you want you can change in the car or the bathroom.” I almost agree about changing in the bathroom and for some reason, I change my mind “ it’s ok I’ll just change in the car.” Ok, that’s fine just come in when you are done past the stairs and then you’ll see the living room I’m gonna get Anthony from upstairs.”

She says as she walks away ok this is fine I hurry up and change I slid my socks on before putting my boots on as fast as I possibly could. I put my bag in the trunk in case more people decide to come then just us three I then walk up to the door and take a deep breath I grab the handle and turn it, Of course, it didn’t open. Why would it open, nothing goes right in my life. Great time to make it more awkward for myself, I knock on the door a couple of times and nothing happens so I do it again. Still nothing I take a deep breath before pushing the doorbell great just great I think to myself. I hear someone yell and I stand up straight and got ready to start explaining myself especially if Avani wasn’t the one to open the door. Not a second later a BEAUTIFUL man opens the door, soft brown eyes with hints of green and long eyelashes, rosy cheeks, and big red lips. Even his unruly curly hair was beautiful. I had to tilt my head back to look up at him ( you can change this if you are tall we love tall queens here) his eyes meet mine and Immediately his face changes from confusion, shock and then finally he hits the ground.

Vinnie’s POV

After I finished my breakfast I hopped in the shower and made a TikTok (the one where he has a towel wrapped around his waist) I then put on some sweats and walked downstairs I saw Jordan and Kio playing on the x box so I laid on the other couch before falling asleep. However, I woke up to the sound of Kio screaming my name I look up at him “will you go answer the door I’m about to win.” I groaned as I got up to answer the door I looked out of the peephole and saw nothing but the top of a head with pigtails on it “what the fuck” I said to myself chuckling and I opened the door to see a girl and as she looks up at me I immediately realized who it is and then everything went black.

Y/n POV

I look down as he lays on the ground unconscious I gasp before calling Avani’s name all of a sudden three boys come out of nowhere. “I don’t know what happened he opened the door and when he saw me he passed out” the boys looked at me with wide eyes before they started to laugh and make fun of the boy on the ground for being “whipped” and a “simp” I just look at them shocked “YOUR FRIEND IS PASSED OUT ON THE GROUND AND YOU'RE CALLING HIM A SIMP!!?” The boys stop and take their friend to the couch about that time Avani comes running down the stairs “ OMG Y/N ARE YOU OK I HEARD YOU SCREAMING!” “Yea the door was locked and that guy answered it and then just passed out when he saw me.”

Avani let’s out a load laugh “what the fuck is wrong with y’all” I say with a scared look on my face. “THAT'S VINNIE!” Avani yells as she laughs “he has the biggest crush on you and he passed out when he saw you OF COURSE WE’RE GONNA LAUGH!” She says almost crying “that’s Vinnie,” I say with wide eyes he’s fucking beautiful I think to myself. Maybe I will fuck him I laugh at my own joke I turn around as I hear one of the boys say “welcome back simp” I hear him groan. ”You guys I thought I just saw Y/n but I am pretty sure I was just still asleep, tell that girl I’m sorry please I’m gonna go lay down,” he says as he gets up slowly “you should put some ice on that bump.” You say as you walk towards him he looks up at you with wide eyes “don’t pass out again, please.”

I say with my hands out in front of me to push him back if he falls forward “ I-I I’m ok really.” He says as he scratches the back of his head “well show me where the kitchen is and I’ll get you an ice pack.” I saw with a smile “oh good luck we don’t have those here.” Vinnie says with a laugh “I got this don’t worry” I say with a wink. We walk into the kitchen and as he sits at the island I look around for a ziplock and fill it with ice, then wrap a rag around it. I walk towards Vinnie and hand it to him “thank you” he says with a smile while looking into my e/c eyes I stare back at him I don’t know how much time went by with us staring into each other's eyes but Avani walks in and laughs.

“Alright you two do you guys wanna stay here and we’ll bring you back food all the guys wanna come and we only have 5 seats sooo?”

I turn to look back at Vinnie “is that fine with you?” He looks at me and smiles “ I would love that” he says as he looks in my eyes again I take a deep breath staring back at him. I look at his beautiful lips his smile is just everything. “okay well text me what you guys want and we’ll be back in a couple of hours have fun, but not too much fun.” she says laughing I roll my eyes and look back at Vinnie “does your head feel any better?” “Yea actually” he pulls the ice back from his head and throws it in the sink “wanna watch a movie with me,” he asked with a smile “yes absolutely but first do you wanna film a couple of TikTok's together?”

I ask with puppy dog eyes “yes!” Vinnie says with no hesitation my eyes widened in shock at how fast he said yes “ok great. Well where should we film?” Vinnie thinks and asks if I wanted to film in his room or by the pool “hmmm the pool” I bet the sun is about to set “ok come, on silly girl,” Vinnie says as he walks away I run after him to see him go through a door so I follow and I see the big ass pool, I was right the sun is going down “wow,” I say to myself “it’s so beautiful right” Vinnie says with a smile “yea it’s is beautiful.” “Not as beautiful as you though,” Vinnie says with a slight blush on his cheeks I turn and look at him before walking towards him. I stand on my tippy toes to kiss him on the cheek I feel Vinnie put his hands on my waist “come on before the sun goes down” Vinnie and I make a couple of dancing tiktoks and we decided to make a thirst trap on his account so we went to his bathroom.

Vinnie started the video in front of the mirror by himself and then he transitioned to where I’m standing in front of him holding the phone. The next transition was me sitting on his sink counter as he takes his finger and snaps my thigh high sock against my thigh he laughs at my shocked face before ending the video he watches the video back with his hand still on my thigh. His thumb drawing small circles on the outside of my thigh I just stare at him I could feel my heart thumping and butterflies in my stomach going straight to my heat I can’t be thinking about him like that we just met an hour ago tops. Vinnie looks down at me his eyes then trail from my eyes to my lips he licks his own lips “V-Vinnie” “ yes beautiful?” He asks “what are you thinking about?” Vinnie looks me in the eyes again and says “About how great you’re going to taste.”

My eyes widen in shock and I put my hands on his shoulders to stabilize myself I can’t do this I shouldn’t be feeling this way I barely know this man “V-Vinnie?” Vinnie looks down at me “what baby?” I move my hands to the back of his neck “kiss me please” Vinnie didn’t waste any time attaching his lips to mine he grabs at my waist and chest. I nibble on his lips teasing him he opens his mouth for me but I denied it and keep biting and teasing him. However Vinnie grew tired of my teasing he picks me up off the counter, he then rubs the little but of ass that’s poking out I gasp as he does, Vinnie takes the opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth, I can feel my heat throbbing against his rock-hard abs, my legs pulling Vinnie even closer to me and I start to grind my hips against his toned stomach and I let out little moans between kisses.

Before I realized what was going on he drops me on his bed immediately my legs fall apart and I reach my hands up to grab him but Vinnie is too busy staring at my cheeky white Lace panties with a cute pink bow at the top. I grow self-conscious I remember that I’m probably a little prickly down there and begin to close my legs, maybe this isn’t a good idea right now “don’t close your legs baby I think you are gorgeous.” He says with a sweet smile and lays his hands on my knees resting them there “I-I haven’t shaved in a couple of days and I-“ “I don’t care” Vinnie says with a duh face as a smile creeps on his Lips “as long as you keep you’re skirt and socks on I’m happy.” I give him a weird look and Vinnie looks back at me with an open mouth “ unless that makes you uncomfortable-“ “no I’m just curious as to why” I say with a smile “god I hope I don’t make myself sound like a creepy stalker” Vinnie says as he takes a deep breath “I have been following you for at least a year now and I have always had a crush on you I've had dreams about fucking you in a skirt with your socks on” he says really fast a deep blush on his cheeks.

“You just make it look so hot with your thick thighs and bubble butt-“ I take my sweatshirt off before he could finish ”so no shirt?” Vinnie looks at my boobs with his mouth open just staring “n- no” he clears his throat “ no bra huh” he says with a small smile “that’s a nice surprise” his eyes trailing down my naked chest “you can touch them if you want.” I say with a smile Vinnie immediately pushes my legs open and lays between them he then grabs both of my boobs in his hands and pinches my nipples with his thumbs and pointer fingers. I let out a whimper and grab his strong biceps I can feel his muscles flexing in his arm every time he squeezed or rubbed my boobs and nipples I began to rock my hips against his stomach again “c-can I lick them?” He asks in a small voice I throw my head back and let out a moan “YES PLEASE” Vinnie takes one of my nipples in his mouth and sucks harshly and pinches the other with his ring-covered hand as he begins to grind his bulge against me.

I gasp as he nibbles and sucks before moving on to the other nipple I run my hands through his hair I know I’m fucking it up but it’s so soft. I feel his lips trailing down my stomach I open my eyes and look down at him and the first thing is seeing is a bunch of big and little red mark all over my boobs and tummy “you left hickeys!!?!” Vinnie looks up and then looks down I see the blush creep on his cheeks and he looks down “well it’s too late now” I say with a breathy laugh “just keep going” Vinnie’s eyes light up before he went back to leaving hickeys on my hips. “Please vin” Vinnie looks up at me “can I” he looks down and then looks back up at me “yes, please do“ I laugh as I run my thumb over his bottom lip. Vinnie kisses the palm of my hand As he then kisses my lips again he rubs and squeezes my thighs for a while before pulling away to unlace my boots once he got both off he spreads my legs wide and looks at my panties that are soaked with my excitement.

I throw my hands over my eyes I know there’s a wet spot I just know it “Jesus baby all this for me” he says as he runs his pointer finger over my wet panties “you even made a mess on my bed baby.” Vinnie says as he kisses the inside of my thigh leaving hickeys I groan in pleasure and embarrassment my cheeks glowing red. Vinnie’s eyes shoot up to look at me and I can feel him smile against my thigh before switching to the other side I moan as I feel my walls clench around nothing. I can feel my wetness gush a little and I throw my head back whining and moaning Vinnie’s name. I feel Vinnie push his nose against my heat, he takes a deep breath through his nose, he groans as he licks his lips pulling away “you smell delicious baby, I bet you taste delicious too.” Vinnie leans his head down taking my underwear in his teeth and pulling them down my legs once they were fully off Vinnie pushes my legs apart and pushes my knees up so they are by my shoulders he can see EVERYTHING.

Vinnie keeps looking down eyes locked on one certain area I could feel him looking at it.“Maybe one day if you get lucky” I say with a smirk ( let me know if you would be interested in part 2 with✨anal✨😊) Vinnie blushes and then realizes what I said before smirking and leaning down between my thighs. Vinnie licks a stripe from my wetness to my clit he groans before shoving his tongue as far into me as possible “mmmm baby you taste like fucking candy.” he slurps and nibbles I gasp and run my hand in his hair “how is that even fucking possible?!” He groans “I could live down here.” he says as he shoves his long tongue into me yet again but this time he grazed a special spot making me release a small shout in shock.

“O-OH VINNIE YESSS DO THAT AGAIN!” I yell as I push his head down and grind my hips on his face at the same time basically using his face to get off. Vinnie pulls my hands off his head after a few minutes and pulls away “n-no keep going-“ “sit on my face please.” Vinnie says as stands up and pulls me towards him by my legs. “Why-“ “because I asked nicely,” he says with a cheeky smile looking down at me, so I sit up and get on my knees Vin lays down on his bed and gets comfortable he then reaches out to me with both hands. I take them and slowly shuffle my way up, when I finally am above his face and I start to lower myself Vinnie grabs my thighs and pushes me so all of my body weight is on his face ”mmmmmm baby! “Vinnie moans inside of me I moan and try to get away from his torturous tongue and vibrations that’s making my legs weak I don’t have the strength to fight him anymore and I fully sit.

Immediately he starts eating me out twice as fast and deep he starts rubbing my clit with his nose while he moans. He’s squeezing and slapping my ass with the other hand “OH OH GOD YES VINNIE JUST LIKE THAT.” I was humping his face at this point I don’t even realize he wasn’t holding me down anymore and it was me I thrust my hips a couple more times before calling out to him.“YES VINNIE MAKE ME CUM DADDY MAKE ME CUM ON YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE!!” I yell with my head thrown back “do you want me to cum on your tongue daddy?!” Ask in a whimper Vinnie groans in response to the vibration shoving me over the edge. I throw my head back so hard I fall off of Vinnie’s mouth onto the bed still moaning and whining, Vinnie jumps up and attacks my pussy with his mouth again.

Before my high is gone making me scream again and thrust against his face once more before I lay with my legs and mouth open gasping for breath. “Are you ok” I didn’t have it in me to talk so I just gave him two thumbs up Vinnie laughs before asking “are you down for another round?” My eyes widen and I look at him before I answer I take a good look at his hair all over the place lips red and plump my juices on his face. My eyes then got distracted but his god-like features my eyes taking extra long to graze over his v-line and his rock hard cock. I take my hand and run my fingers down his hard stomach feeling all the bumps and grooves down to his happy trail and I follow it to his sex Lines. I push Vinnie down on the bed before crawling in between his legs I begin to kiss his neck and leave hickeys as he did on me.

I lick his nipple on the way down and he lets out a surprised gasp grabbing onto one of my pigtails as I trail my lips and tongue down to his hip bones to leave hickeys there and on his sex lines. He trusted his hips up towards my face and let out a hot whine so I pull down his sweats and underwear in one go I immediately start to rub my thumb on his tip. I lick the vain from the bottom to the top and then I took his balls in my mouth as I stroke him Vinnie's head thrown back in pure pleasure “ple-please don’t stop” he says in an airy breath I pull off from his balls making a popping sound. I then take him in my mouth if there is one thing I’m good at its blowjobs the bigger the better and Vinnie is the biggest I've ever seen.

I suck the tip and make my way back down as far as I can go without deep throating him yet I got about halfway down his cock I then started to hum and move my tongue around what I could reach. I then began to deep throat Vinnie and as my throat was expanding to his size I couldn’t help but moan “F-FUCK.” Vinnie yells as he grabs both of my pigtails and shoves my head the rest of the way down making me choke “OH MY GOD! I’m so sorry-“ I moaned before doing it again myself my eyeballs rolling to the back of my head I then pull off and catch my breath. “Mmhm fuck my throat daddy” I say as I start to suck his tip again with big wide innocent eyes Vinnie’s hips snap against my face his hands grabbing my pigtails again fucking my throat.

I could feel his balls slapping against my chin and I grab them in one hand and start to massage them while I rub his thigh with my other hand. I feel his balls start to tighten and his tip twitched so I pull off “lay down I wanna Fuck you.” I say with confidence “I-I ok” Vinnie stutters laying on his back now as I straddle him. I take him and put his tip at my entrance before starting to sink down on him I let out a small moan as Vinnie let out a load moan as he grips the sheets trying to keep him self from pushing you down. ”Fuck Y/n your so fucking tight, I’m gonna explode” “ooooh yea, you gonna cum in me daddy or are you gonna put your baby’s on my thighs instead hmmmm maybe on my ass cheeks?” Vinnie let’s out a loud moan “any-anywhere baby please just let me cum” Vinnie groans “mmm fuck me baby.“

I say I feel him grab my ass cheeks before thrusting up into me at a super-fast pace. Vinnie groans and moans as I scream and moan “ahh are you gonna cum in my little pu-pussy daddy?” “Mmmm yes baby I’m gonna paint your walls with my seed.” Vinnie says as he pounds into me at an even fastest pace if that’s possible. “I’m gonna shoot my load so far up your pussy it’s gonna be coming out of you for days!” He yells as he grabs my neck and licks my face we are both groaning and yelling things at each other. “HIT ME DADDY HIT ME” I yell I’ve never asked someone to hit me before so this is new.

Vinnie without even thinking about it throws me on my back and slaps me across the face. I could feel the stinging sensation and my pussy throbbed so I whimpered “again” he slapped me across my face again. I moan even loader this time I could feel the knot starting to twist “AGAIN DADDY SLAP MY FACE AGAIN AN-AND CALL ME YOUR LITTLE SLUT!” I scream at Vinnie so he slaps my face again harder this time. I could really feel the sting that time I let out a cry but immediately moaned right after “YOU LIKED THAT DIDN’T YOU SLUT” he pounds into harder. I let out sobs of pleasure tears running down my face.

Vinnie then pulls out completely before flipping me on to my hands and knees, I immediately drop my head to the bed so my ass is in the air. I feel Vinnie push inside of me again this time from the back, he grabs my hips thrusting in to me at a fast pace ”DADDYS GONNA SLAP YOUR ASS TILL ITS PRETTY AND PINK” Vinnie shouts at me as he begins to abuses my ass cheeks with his open palms I push back on him and I moan my eyes rolling to the back of my head ”P-P-PLEASE DADDY CUM INSIDE OF ME I WANT TO BE YOUR SLUT !” I scream at the top of my lungs I can feel the knot about to pop “F-FUCK YOUR SUCH A DIRTY LITTLE SLUT YOU WANT ME TO CUM IN YOUR TIGHT LITTLE WHORE PUSSY!” He moans “SUCH A DIRTY SLUT FUCKING A MAN YOU MET TWO HOURS AGO AND ALREADY ASKING ME TO PUT BABIES INSIDE OF YOU!” He shouts as I let out a scream it was like everything stopped my mind went blank all I could think about was how good daddy’s cock felt inside of my slutty little pussy.

I hear Vinnie start to pant “I’m gonna-I’m-I’m CUMMING” he yells as he grabs my boobs and falls into my neck his hot breath on my neck. I wrap my arms around his waist and I start to rub his back “thank you, Vinnie.” He starts laughing “I should be thanking you I don’t think my dick will get hard for another woman ever again.” I laugh and give him a tight hug “you know I don’t actually think you're a whore right “ I look at him and smile “well I would hope not considering you had sex with a complete stranger too” I kiss him on the lips “will you go on a date with me y/n?” I smile at him “yes, absolutely I would love to!” He chuckles and kisses my lips “I never thought I was gonna meet you, or be going in a date with you. let alone have sex with you AND cum inside of you all in the same day, life is full of surprises” he says with a big smile. I smile back at him before kissing him once more and getting comfortable “will you take a nap with me?” “Yea of course my sweet girl.” Vinnie says with a kiss on the head.

[undyingskies]

Adrenaline

A/N: This one wasn’t a requested but I absolutely loved writing this one. I got the idea from a tiktok, the girl was listening to the song called Fallin’ by Why Don’t We for 3 hours straight. It made me listen to the song and it reminded me of Charlie for some reason which lead to the creation of this fic! To those who have request imagines know I have seen them and will get to them, I got caught up in this fic and another one for Owen, but I promise I’m going to get them out as fast as I can! I really hope you guys enjoy this one, I really love it! xoxo

Warnings: Few curse words.

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Here you are again, caught up in the moment not thinking twice. Your sandwiched between the wall and Charlie, your hand tangled in his hair, his under your thighs, and your lips moving fast and passionately against one another.

The adrenaline rushing through your veins, everything frozen except the two of you in that small corridor, hiding from everyone else.

You see this whole thing with Charlie started about a month ago, you had no idea how it started or where it would lead but here you are again, melting into his touch. Even though you always tell yourself that one was the last time when he’s finished with you.

You and Charlie were just two close friends for the longest time. You were hired to work on season two of Julie and The Phantoms as an intern for Soyon. You always loved fashion and wanted to do costume work on sets so this was your opportunity and you weren’t going to let anything get in the way of that. You jumped on the first plane you could get and made your way to Vancouver, Canada. Your three bags in tow, carrying everything you owned.

Kenny and producers had arranged for an apartment for you but it wouldn’t be available until three weeks after you arrived. They underestimated your ability to pack quickly and find a ticket out almost immediately. The only apartment having three bedrooms being Owen and Charlie’s, which they were kind enough to let you use at Kenny’s request.

It all started out so innocent, you and the boys immediately had a connection. You and Owen sharing a similar humor and personality. Charlie and you sharing the same love for nature and love for adrenaline.

You and Charlie quickly started going on adventures with one another. You started exploring the city and the nature surrounding it. Charlie being Canadian came in handy as he was familiar with the hiking trails that surrounded you guys.  

One day he came up to you, about two days before you were finally moving into your own apartment. He told you that he found a new hiking trail with a bridge and on that bridge you could bungee jump off of it. You agreed immediately with no hesitation. That’s the day that changed the dynamic of your friendship.

You felt the adrenaline pumping through your body as you stood at the edge of the bridge. Charlie’s hand in yours, a bright smile on his face.

“You ready?” He leans over and asks you as you start to hear the countdown for the jump.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” You tell him back with a similar smile on your face. Hearing the faint count of 3, 2, 1.

That’s when you jumped. Yours and Charlie’s yelling drowning out any other noises. You bounce up and down a few times, laughter leaving the both of you.

As you come to slow down, laughter still erupting from the both of you, Charlie’s eye lock in on yours. His laughter slowly dies down as he stares through what feels like your soul. Before you knew it or could ask him what’s up, you felt his lips on yours. That familiar feeling of adrenaline pumping through your veins. You immediately reciprocate the kiss back.

That’s when it all changed. From that day on it was you and Charlie. Anytime you guys could find, his body was on yours and you couldn’t get enough of each other. On set he would pull you into empty closets, sets that weren’t in use, and every-time that adrenaline would come back pumping through the both of you.

You two had agreed to keep it a secret, it was a part of the fun. Knowing you could get caught. You also agreed that it was just physical nothing else. You never planned for the feelings to come with it, but of course like any story they did. Now here you are a month later telling yourself this was the last time; you wouldn’t let it happen again.

But your hearts beating fast and you can’t help but think why do I love this feeling?

Voices and steps break you out of your thoughts. Charlie’s lips and hands on you, making you feel more vulnerable. Your quick to detach your lips and body from his. That fire feeling fading away in the both of you. He gives you a confused look.

“People are coming Char.” You tell him, you grab his hand to pull him around the corner and out of the now occupied hallway. Your back in the parking lot of the set.

“That was a close one Y/N.” He says with a laugh.

“Ya a close one.” You tell him trailing off, beginning to get lost in your thoughts again. Charlie notices but doesn’t say anything, he had to get back to set to film in Julies garage.

“Well I guess I will see you after we’re done here. Meet you at my car tonight?” He asks you. You reach out to fix the beanie placed on his head, the stylist coming out in you. You start to fiddle with the sleeveless tank on him, trying to make it perfect so no one has an idea of what was just going on.

He laughs at your fiddling hands, grabbing onto them and pulling them away from his body.

“It’s fine they won’t know.” As much as you don’t want to admit it, Charlie knows you like the back of his hand and knows what you’re thinking even if you don’t say it out loud. He places a kiss to your forehead before he’s skipping off to set, sending you a wink before he’s gone. Heat rushes to your cheeks at his actions.

Then you’re left alone standing in the middle of the parking lot looking dazed. Savannah rounding the corner, laughing at the scene in front of her as you come into focus.

“Little sneak away fun with Charlie again?” She says sneaking up on you with a laugh at the look on your face.

“What? No? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You tell her. She smirks at your words.

“Come on Y/N, you don’t think I’ve caught on? You two always disappearing and coming back together. You staying late when you don’t have too and leaving with him. Plus we’re best friends you don’t think I’ve noticed the way you two look at each other? It’s practically heart eyes from both ends.” She tells you, in a serious tone.

“Fine. You’re right but I don’t want to talk about it here.” She nods at your words, agreeing with you.

“My trailer?” She asks you; you follow her as she walks towards it.

That’s when you empty out all your thoughts and feelings to her. You didn’t realize how much you had been keeping in the last month. You told her how it started, the deal you guys made, and your feelings for him. And by the end of your story and all your confessions, all she had to say was,

“I think you should tell him how you feel.”

Did she not hear what you just said? How you guys agreed that this was a no feelings deal, it was for the purpose of pleasure and the two of yours addiction to adrenaline.

“I think you missed the point there Sav. I can’t, I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I would rather end it and keep our friendship than ruin it all.”

“Your delusional if you think he doesn’t like you back, you don’t see the way he looks at you. Everyone else does though.” She tells you and places a hand on your shoulder.

“You should think about it at least.”

“Okay, I will.” You tell her. I don’t think either of you believing your words. Your eyes travel to look at the clock. It read 8:02, you were late meeting Charlie.

“Oh, I got to go. Thanks for the talk Sav, I appreciate it.” You tell her and pull her into a hug.

You make your away around the parking lot pretty quickly, looking to see the mop of brown hair that you really have come to love. You spot him next to the orange car, he refused to admit was a weird color. Your eyes land on him and then quickly to the figure standing in front of him with her hands on his arm laughing.

You stop dead in your tracks, your heart dropping into your stomach. Your throat tightening at the scene, hands sweaty and shaking by your sides. You don’t want to feel like this, you know you two promised each other that what you had was nothing. He was allowed to look and talk to other girls, but you can’t shake the feeling in your stomach.

Charlie looks up and notices you standing back just looking at the scene in front of you.  A smile makes its way onto his face at the sight of you. He quickly moves to the side of the girl, gently pushing her away, and is walking towards you.

“Hey Y/N, ready to go?” He asks you, stopping once he is in front of you. He grabs your hand but you quickly slip yours out of his. He frowns at your action but quickly composes himself.

He places his hand on your lower back and walks you to the car, opening the passenger door for you. You slide in, awkwardly smiling at the girl just standing there watching the interaction between the two of you.

“Well it was nice meeting you Josie, see you around.” He tells her, sending her a quick wave before he jumps  into the driver’s seat of the car and starts the engine. Not looking back at her once.

The two of you sit in silence, you consumed in your thoughts and him just confused by your actions. He tries to place his hand on your thigh but you move it out of reach. Another frown makes his way onto his face.

He makes the drive to your apartment, you agreed to go there tonight because Owen had an early day and would be at the boys apartment. He was already suspicious of the two of you so Charlie didn’t want to risk trying to sneak you in.

You quickly unbuckle your seat belt and hop out of the car. You keep a quick pace as you make your way into your apartment building. Charlie has to jog to catch up with you, seriously confused at your actions. He doesn’t know why you’re acting like this.

As you make your way into your apartment opening the door, Charlie takes the advantage of the moment and presses his body against yours. His lips finding their way onto your neck, trailing kisses up and down them. You freeze at the contact of him against you, basking in the pleasure for a second.

Your thoughts catch up with you and you move fast to get your body away from his. He stumbles at the loss of contact. He tries to reach for you again, the third time that night and you slip out of it again.

Charlie starts to feel frustrated at your actions, not knowing why you’re acting that way and starting to get nervous he did something wrong.

He goes to stand in front of  but you quickly make your way around him and into the kitchen. He’s right on your heel though.

“Okay Y/N what gives? Why are you acting so weird? We were fine earlier so what happened?” He asks you and you can hear the frustration and confusion laced in his tone.

You shake your head, trying to brush it off.

“Nothing, everything’s fine.” You tell him, pouring water into a cup. He takes it out of your hand and places it besides you. He has you turn to face him. The two of you are chest to chest, his arms placed on both sides of you so you can’t escape him or avoid eye contact.

He leans into kiss you but you turn your head fast, his lips making contact with your cheek. The frustration Charlie feels starts to boil over.

“Everything’s fine? Are you sure about that Y/N you won’t look at me or let me touch you!! What is going on?” He asks you, slightly yelling at this point.

You shove him off of you and walk past him. You don’t want to do this with him, not now. Well never really but at some point, you knew you would have too.

You lean your head against your fridge, letting out a sigh before you turn to look back at him.

“I can’t do this anymore Char, we’ve got to stop whatever this is between us.” His face falls at your words.

“What do you mean you can’t do this anymore? I thought we were having fun, just this morning it was fine...” He says slowly taking a step towards you. You put your hand up to stop him from walking closer.

“I know, but the more I think about it the more I need to stop it. Neither of us knew where this would lead when we started it and I just can’t do it anymore.” You let out with a sigh. Charlie feels sadness overcome him; his heart feels like it’s breaking a little bit.

Little did you know how Charlie was feeling. He never wanted to make the deal of keeping it just physical, but he agreed with you not wanting to ruin your friendship or stop what was happening between the two of you. He was just happy that he was getting a piece of you to himself. Charlie had fallen for you pretty much the second he saw you and heard your laugh.

“That doesn’t feel like a real reason Y/N, just an excuse. If you give me the real reason then fine, we’ll end this and we will just go back to being just friends. But I need a reason not an excuse before I leave.” He tells you, sounding desperate.

You don’t want to tell him the real reason. You don’t want to ruin the friendship you two have. It wouldn’t be the same if you told him, you two couldn’t just go back to being two friends if he knew your real feelings.

“That is the real reason Charlie.” You tell him, dropping your hand and looking down at your feet. You couldn’t handle his stare anymore.

You watch his feet walk towards you. His hand being placed under your chin, forcing you to look up at him.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. Please just tell me.” He says just above a whisper, he no longer feels upset. He’s just sad.

You just sigh. You didn’t know what to do, the look on his face breaks your heart. You didn’t want to hurt him or make him sad and you can’t understand why this is doing that to him. You can feel the frustration boiling up in you.

You shove him off of you. You start pacing around your island.

“Tell you Charlie! You really want to know why?” This time you’re the one yelling. You can’t help but feel frustrated at your feelings and confusion. All he does is nod yes.

“Because Charlie! You make me reckless! The feeling of you and I together makes me reckless! I’ve been putting my job on the line to sneak around with you, I’m lying to my friends about what I’m doing when I am with you. I’m lying to myself and you!” You tell.

“What does that even mean Y/N, you’re lying to me?” He asks, his voice slightly raised.

“I love you, you idiot! I’ve been lying about my feelings to the both of us! I can’t do this anymore, this no feelings only physical stuff! It’s not fair to me.” You get quieter at the end of your confession.

Silence fills the air, neither of you say a word. He is just looking at you in shock. You standing on the other side of the island, your arms placed limply on the sides of your body. You look completely defeated.

Charlie doesn’t say a word just steps towards again. Again you lift your arms up, hoping to stop him. He grabs your hands.

“Would you just please let me get close to you?” He asks desperate. You let out a sigh and allow him to come closer.

He drops your hands and places his onto your cheeks, not allowing your head to fall so he could maintain eye contact with you.

“You don’t think I feel the same? Something about you makes me feel insane. I can’t control myself around you, I get a rush of adrenaline anytime I’m with you.” His confession being met with another cloud of silence.

You don’t know what to say, you just keep looking at him. You can see his eyes looking at you desperately, looking around your face hoping he could understand what you’re feeling based on your features. He can’t though.

“Please say something.” He practically begs.

“I don’t-, I don’t know what to say...” You trail off.

“Tell me you feel the same, you just admitted you loved me. Why can’t you admit you want more and that you feel the same adrenaline.” He tells you.

“Charlie...” You trail off. “You know I feel the same way about you. This whole time. You’re like a breath of fresh air, it’s never boring with you, the more we got together the more I needed you. I’m scared though, I’ve never felt like this before. Plus there are so many girls who you could get, why me?”

“Why you? Because Y/N, I’ve never met someone like you. You match me on every level, your love for adventure, your humor. You’re so sweet, you never hesitate to act in kindness rather than anything else no matter the situation. I love you. I have loved you pretty much since the minute I saw you.” He tells you. He places his forehead on yours, both of you breathing harder than usual due to the feeling of adrenaline rushing through the both of you because of your confessions.

“Will you please let me kiss you.” He asks you again the desperation laced in his words. You nod your head yes.

That’s when his lips meet yours, in the most passionate kiss the two of you have ever shared. His hands make their way down to your waist pulling you closer, as yours make their way up to the nape of his neck and entangling in his hair. You can feel the both of you pouring all your emotions into this kiss, letting each other know that both of your confessions are true.

You pull apart breathing heavy.

“Make me a promise, tell me that you’ll stay with me.” You tell him, your insecurities getting the best of you for a moment. He smiles at you though.

“Of course baby, I’m not scared to jump in if you want to.” He tells you, pulling you in for another kiss.

“Let’s just keep falling in love for the hell of it.” He tells you as you pull apart, his signature smirk plastered across his face, and he sends you a wink.

You laugh at his words.

“Ya of course, just for the hell of it.” You laugh as you pull him back into you, placing another kiss on his lips.

You pull apart and make your way to sit on the couch to just enjoy the company of each other. He places his head in your lap, you immediately start to run your fingers through his hair as if it’s second nature. He smiles at your actions and leans into your touch more.

“I guess I have to tell Owen he was right. I owe him 10 bucks.” Charlie says breaking the silence.

“What do you mean you owe him 10 bucks??” You say confused.

“Well you see, Owen and I may have made a bet about me falling for you. He said the minute you walked in the door and he saw my face when I looked at you, and he knew I was falling for you. I didn’t believe him.” You nod your head, encouraging him to continue the story.

“Then basically he bet me that I would  fall for you before the end of this year. I didn’t think us hooking up counted since it was a secret so I wasn’t gonna tell him he won. But I guess I have to now.” He says scratching the back of his neck as a nervous habit.

You laugh at his words, only Charlie would make such a bet. The adrenaline junkie and his competitiveness always getting the best of him.

“You’re not mad?” He asks you at hearing your laughter.

“Not at all, that is such a Gillespie move.” You tell him, leaning down to place your lips on his.

You can’t help but laugh at Charlie’s antics, truly he is the only person who would engage in such a thing. But that’s just another reason why you’ve fallen for the boy.

Charlie switches positions so he’s sitting next to you rather laying on top of you. He throws his arm over your shoulders and pulls you into him. You lay your head on his chest, you smile and you feel him press a kiss to your head. This is just another start to a wonderful adventure with Mr. Charlie Gillespie.

[heyitsyn]

Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 4

a/n: uwuwuwuwu @animesportboys​ and i were just talking about this and my heart was just bursting at this thought 😭

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

also requests are currently closed right now since i have like nearly 30 to finish so please be patient with me and wait for me to finish it all and until then i can open them up again. however, dont stop sending me cute stuff okay?  🥺

summary: its the time of the month for seijoh’s manager 🥺

@ yn when shes extra moody and mean during that time and does this every time she hears anything even come out of the boys’ mouth

oh dear

so basically

it’s,,,,,, a natural thing that most girls go through every month for more than half of their lives and its absolutely D R E A D F U L

the boys ofc knew what the hell a period was bc hello health class so they knew you would become this,,, other version of yourself

youd be moodier, childish, and easy to annoy and snap to everyone

but you would quickly realize how you’re acting then be all regretful and teary and cry easily and then youd forget about it then start the cycle again

you’d stick your tongue out at them and tease them mercilessly, making them run even more laps and pushing them harder

‘I SEE THOSE ARMS SHAKING, IWAIZUMI HAJIME. ADD 15 MORE TO THAT ROUTINE’

‘WHAT?!’

‘IF I SEE YOU EVEN A STEP BEHIND KINDAICHI, YOU WILL BE RUNNING 8 MORE LAPS KUNIMI’

‘NOO!!!!’

‘CHECK YOURSELF OUT ONE MORE TIME, YAHABA, I WILL GOUGE OUT YOUR EYES’

‘HAVE MERCY!!!!’

dear god they hated it

when it was time, they would protect themselves and work even harder and be more perfect to make sure you couldnt see their faults and point them out and try and kill them

it was like war for everyone

but they didnt know the exact date it started so they didnt really know when to start preparing for war until it came

this time, you didnt either

you didnt even know you were starting as you were extra busy booking the buses for away comps and collecting and emailing teachers for any missed homeworks for the team

so when it did start,,,

oh dear part 2

it wasnt really something you found out when you woke up that morning but you noticed you must be getting close since you were feeling extra cranky and you havent even been awake for more than an hour

nothing really happened throughout the day so you were just thinking that you didnt get enough sleep last night so you were just tired and wanted to sleep

but then it happened

you were standing next to iwa, reviewing his spike percentages when you shifted your weight to the other leg and then your eyes widened

your water broke

i saw this tiktok of this one girl and she was about to start filming with her friend when her eyes widened and her friend knew immediately and her caption was ‘my water broke’

iwa was worried as heck on to what was going on with you and even followed your gaze to see it on the wall and nothing out of the ordinary

‘y/n?’

‘oh god’

you mumbled and you wanted to run but you were too scared that you leaked and probably have an obvious redness on your white track pants

yep it def was your time bc you felt tears welling up in your eyes and you sniffled, embarrassed and upset for this to happen now, of all times

then oikawa tooru bursted through the doors

iwa, taking his eyes off of you and to the captain, started to yell at him until he noticed the brunette’s flushed face and panting form, hunched over as he gripped on the door handle with the plastic bag

you, too busy trying to think of a way to get out of there like deciding to waddle or to just crawl, didnt see oikawa as he approached you

the team paused and watched as he took a black hoodie from the plastic bag and wrapped it around your waist

‘hmm, y/n-chan, better get dressed so we can go now’

he hummed and you snapped out of your panic and looked up at him with watery eyes

‘oikawa-san’

you whispered and he nodded, eyes knowing what was going on

‘coach, theres a planetarium special tonight’

oikawa shouted without tearing his gaze away from you and coach irihata instantly knew, knowing the code that oikawa came up with when you became a part of the family team

the elder coach made a noise of agreement and oikawa didnt wait to up and carry you in his arms and waved to the team while pushing your head in his chest so you can hide

‘work hard everyone!’

‘oi, shittykawa! what the hell-!’

but an intense side-eye from his best friend shut him up and he knew something happened so he didnt say anything since he trusts oikawa to fix it

‘i trust you will take care of them, iwa-chan’

iwaizumi nodded firmly before shouting to resume back to practice and he himself went back to the line for spikes

you were carried to the bathroom so you could change into your emergency undies and pad and after you did your business, oikawa noticed you uncomfortably waddling towards him so he took you back into his arms

oikawa continued to carry you like his bride down the street towards an unknown destination, humming a children’s show tune that takeru loved to watch, while you maintained curled around yourself, partly due to the shame but also from the pain in your abdomen

you wiped the few stray tears that spilled past your eyes and oikawa chuckled when he noticed you aggressively wipe them off

‘hmm, y/n-chan, you shouldnt do that to yourself. it irritates your eyes and the skin around it so gently dab it next time, kay?’

you nodded, burrowing back to his chest and breathing in his scent

french toast

he smelled like french toast as the smell of caramel and vanilla wafted into your nose

‘howd you know’

you mumbled against the fabric of his jacket

oikawa stopped his humming and replaced it with a chuckle

‘oh, y/n-chan. oikawa-san is a reliable senpai, dont you know? i got a tracker! just for you!’

he answered and your eyes moved from his arm to his smile and you gripped his jacket tighter, fingers curled around it as if it was your lifeline

‘thank you, oikawa-san’

your words of appreciation made oikawa’s heart thump and he faltered a little, blush creeping up his neck, but he fought it down, covering it up with a smirk

‘you should be, y/n-chan! girls would kill to be you right now!’

you rolled your eyes at the return of his cocky attitude but you knew better

the real oikawa tooru was under that mask

turns out, he carried you to his home as his house was the closest while yours had to be taken by a bus

thankfully his parents were out and his sister and nephew were in a trip in tokyo that you had the house to yourselves without anyone asking questions that might make you uncomfortable and them misunderstand

he shut the door with his foot and made his way up the stairs with ease, his strength truly impressing you at that moment, before settling you down on his bed

it wasnt even on purpose but you curled yourself on his blanket, head buried in his pillow

his heart combusted and tooru had to look away or else he wouldve jumped on you and coddled you forever

instead, he quickly ran over and knelt down under his desk to reach for the box that he has prepared for you

‘y/n-chan, i never knew your pattern until last month so i was able to prepare for you now’

you looked up from your position on the bed and sat up enough to see him standing there, grinning with a mint green box

‘wh-what is that?’

you asked and he shuffled over, sitting next to you

‘this, is the y/n care love box! this special box was created by yours truly with everything you want and need during this dreadful week. theres your favorite food, warm socks, coupons you can spend like watching movies and eating ten tubs of ice cream while we talk shit about the boys’

he listed, gripping the box nervously 

‘so? do you like it?’

he looked away from the box and to you but his smile slipped into a panicked one when he saw you silently crying and biting your lip to keep the sobs in

‘y-y/n-chan! i-its okay if y-you dont like it! o-oikawa-san can-’

‘no!’

you cut him off and lunged to hug him with all your might

hehe all might

E A T   T H I S

‘i love you so much, oikawa-san! so much! thank you!’

you sobbed into his neck and he tightly hugged you back, lifting you so you could comfortably sit on his lap straddle him if you want me to be straight forward

oikawa gently moved so he was leaning against the wall that his bed was pressed against while you were pressed against his warmth

his fingers were drawing small circles on your back and whispering corny jokes or puns that made you giggle and laugh and occassionally, he would kiss your nose and you would whine at the ticklish feeling

eyes fleeting around the room, your eyes settled back on the box and you reached out, wanting to grab it until oikawa beat you to it and snatched it for you then placed it on your hold

‘whats inside, oikawa-san?’

you cutely mumbled, sitting comfortably back on his thighs so you could open the box in front of you

oikawa laughed

‘just open it and figure it out yourself, y/n-chan’

you pouted at his tease but smiled widely when you revealed the contents inside

‘oikawa-san!’

his eyes followed your surprised expression and his hands gripped your waist

‘you like it?’

he whispered and you nodded, looking back up at him and kissing his cheek, his 

‘youre so sweet, oikawa-san! like-like this candy bar! howd you know i like this?’

you held up the treat and he shrugged

‘i keep seeing you get it whenever we go to the store’

you continued to sift through the things, seeing a dvd of your favorite movie, a f/c heating pad, a note that said your favorite ice cream was in the fridge, a bag of your favorite chips, fluffy socks, the goodies

you didnt even notice yourself crying again, only realizing it when there were wet spots beneath you

oikawa saw this and he quickly but gently put the box to the side and cradled your face with both of his hands, softly wiping the tears away with his thumbs

‘aw, dont cry, my little baby. princesses should never cry’

you sniffled and choked a laugh

‘hah, n-not a baby. j-just hor-monal’

you complained and oikawa snickered but shook his head then kissed your nose again

‘youre my baby’

you didnt have it in you to complain so you went back to snuggling into him

oikawa squeezed you and went back to drawing the circles on your back and he felt you relax into his touch and slump against his form, slowly starting to snore

your head rested on his shoulder and he turned slightly to watch your eyes flutter and nose scrunch when a strand of your hair fell on it

his heart continued to beat faster and faster and it showed by the way his fingers shook as he carefully lifted the hair away from you

he slowly bent down to give you a kiss on the forehead before laying you down to sleep more comfortably

‘good night, princess’

he sweetly placed a last kiss on your cheek before getting up to go prepare your heating pad for when you wake up

the next few days were possibly the best period days youve ever had

maybe because it was oikawa telling the team that you were in,,,,, satan’s domain currently and they should be careful with you so they tried their best to lift the weight and burden off of your shoulders

however,,

the next day after the incident,,,

they still didnt know what was wrong with you and oikawa forgot to text the gc about your condition so they were still unknowing

like today

during your classes, you were feeling off, almost nauseous but eating little bits of your chocolate treats were helping you get through until lunch

ofc kunimi noticed bc hellow he sits next to you and he doesnt pay attention during class so hes been watching you sneak little bites so the teacher doesnt see and ducking under your book

he was just amused with the way your eyes would widen if you thought the teacher caught you

kindaichi and kunimi and you usually ate lunch together at your classroom since you three only got to hang out as first years during lunch

so they know you usually have a bento with you and have a general idea of how much you eat

and kunimi thought since you ate all those chocolates earlier, you wouldnt eat as much food but then he saw you scarf down your bento, eat 2 more bags of chips and was finishing last chocolate bar

kindaichi,,,, wasnt even finished with his own bento and was watching you, amazed, at how easily you ate all of it

they didnt say anything since they thought you just didnt eat dinner last night but even during the walk towards the gym for after school practice, you were complaining that you were hungry and was eating another chocolate bar

they thought something was truly wrong bc you were eating so much more than usual

kunimi watched you chew on it as you opened the gym door and still ate even when you were talking to mattsun about his jump height

‘man, you sure are hungry, aren’t you, y/n? thats like your fifth chocolate bar today’

kunimi teased, grabbing a ball to spike but he froze, seeing you with the coldest and angriest look hes ever seen

you blinked at him, grip tightening on the treat, and mattsun slowly backing away from you

you advanced towards the blep boy, treat already forgotten and shoved to be held by mattsun 

despite your shorter height than kunimi, he trembled slightly as you looked up at him

‘are you calling me fat, kunimi? are you? am i fat? do you think im ugly? im a piggie?’

you ranted and slowly started crying, making kunimi frantically scramble to stop you before the other upperclassmen see or worse, oikawa-san

‘y/n-wait-no!-um’

‘y/n-chan?’

kunimi shut his eyes tightly in fear at the deadly sweet voice of his captain and kindaichi and mattsun sent a quick prayer to their fellow teammate before he was going to get killed

‘uh oh, i think we’d have to start looking for a replacement for kunimi’

makki, who just arrived, teased making kindaichi fearfully look at him

‘eh?!’

‘oh, you first years have never seen oikawa mad, have ya? well, you’ll get front seat of it!’

mattsun clapped him in the back making him gulp

you werent sobbing but you were definitely crying, tear tracks quickly being wetted by the numerous amount of tears that fell

kunimi scrambled to his knees and folded himself, forehead resting on the floor by his hands

‘I APOLOGIZE! PLEASE DONT KILL ME! I APOLOGIZE! PLEASE FIND MERCY IN YOURSELF AND FORGIVE ME, Y/N-SAMA!’

it was certainly a sight to see

normally calm and collected and chill and relaxed hippie kunimi begging to be forgiven

oikawa stepped forward but you quickly felt the change of your mood, feeling bad for your boy and scrambling to pull him back up

‘oh kunimi-kun! dont kneel like that! the floor is too hard and might give you knee pain!’

it was like whiplash

iwa stepped in the gym and saw the team’s confused and bewildered expressions and saw you, kunimi, and oikawa and he shook his head

this aint even half of bad as he has seen

oikawa gently took you away from kunimi and held you to him instead, giving you a smile, to which you returned, and looked at kunimi, a deadly glint in his eye

‘what happened, y/n-chan?’

the tone of his voice sent a chill to run down everyone’s spines and even iwa, the boy who’s seen this a handful of times, shivered and nervously watched oikawa, ready to jump in

but you just blinked, completely unaware of the change of atmosphere

‘oh, um, i overreacted. i was eating too much food today and mustve annoyed him or something’

you sheepishly mumbled but oikawa was having none of it

‘no, its fine. youre literally bleeding out as we speak! dont feel the need to validate yourself!’

he lightly scolded while you hung your head low and continued to apologize but he gently bonked your head before scolding you again

the team definitely knew now that you were in that,,,, time and they definitely knew now, especially kunimi, that even if youve seen oikawa mad, youd think that the devil was more merciful than him when it relates to the topic of you

a/n: i swear to GGGOOOOODDDDDD im an oikawa whore who cant seem to stop writing for him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ickymichi]

stay with me.

[itadori yuuji x reader]

<3 summary: your annual saturday night sleepover with yuuji was as normal and joyful as always. except at an odd hour there was a certain thought that wouldn’t stop swirling around his mind.

<3 warnings: fluff fluff fluff!! ,angst(only a small bit i promise), yuuji being sad:((

<3 a/n: hii!! this is my first ever actual fic so don’t judge it too harshly i’m not that happy with it but anyways. hope you enjoy it and please like or reblog! <3

8:26pm

an enthusiastic knock echoed through yuuji’s room shaking him out of his manga that he was currently buried in. “(y/n)!! i missed you so much!” he exclaimed as he threw open the door wrapping his arms around your frame. “i saw you yesterday yu’” you giggled as he he set you down and took your sleepover bag from you for you to step into his oh so familiar room.

“i was thinking we could finish watching {insert show}, we only have a few episodes left. then, hold on, hold on look what i got us”. you try look over his shoulder to see what he was getting from a plastic bag. “no peeking!!” “sorry yuuji sorry i couldn’t help it”. you try to guess what it could be, hopefully nothing to expensive that he had to break his bank on.

“ta-da!! i got us face masks, headbands and nail polish!” he makes a show of turning around and displaying the said items. you could feel your heart swell at the action and how thoughtful he is. “yuuji this is so sweet, i can’t wait to do it all!” you say looking at what face masks he got for the night ahead. you really couldn’t wait!

9:17pm

you’ve both changed into your pyjamas, well you couldn’t really say that for yuuji, he was just in his plaid pj bottoms and as always, even in the height of winter, no t-shirt. you tried to get him to wear one in case he got a cold but he claimed that you love the ‘eye candy’.

after an hour, you finished the final episodes of the show you both were invested in, followed by a few tears over the death of a certain character. but this meant you could finally have your little self care night!. “which one do you want bub?” you asked yuuji as he stood behind you looking at the selection in front of both of you. placing his head on your shoulder and letting out a long “hmmmmm”, indicating he was having a hard time picking. “how about this one” you point to one that supposedly removes dead skin and leaves your skin feeling new and regenerated. “it matches your hair” “woah your right it does! i’ll use this one” he said excitedly lifting his head and examining the package. you go for a hydrating and ‘anti aging’ one instead. you spot the headbands he picked out aswell and wonder which one to pick. you pick them both up to see what they actually look like. one is pink,fluffy and had a bow on it. the other was white, also fluffy but on top it had bunny ears. you knew straight away which one you were giving yuuji. when you turn around to give him his headband your faced with disaster. he’s spreading the pink face mask unevenly all over random parts of his face and most of it is on the sink or his fingers. “oh no yu’ let me help” you laugh at his situation as he looks over at you and softly smiles, laughing with you as you make your way to help him apply it. “but first you need your headband silly” “oh yeah i forgot whoopsies” you help him wash off the messed up layer then put the headband on before he can see which it is. “of course you give me the bunny one” he sends you a glare through the mirror as he sees what he looks like. “what do you mean it suits you so much, my big cute bunny boy” you laugh and wrap your arms around his strong frame. “ yeah yeah i’m sure it does” you can tell without even looking up at him he’s pretending to be annoyed. “cmon let’s put yours on so we can match” he tells you while lifting you onto the counter so he can stand between your legs.

10:45. the rest of the night flew by with the amount of fun you were having. yuuji let you paint his nails while he did, a somewhat good job of yours. you had a mini photo shoot while waiting for the masks to dry, one of which is now yuujis lock screen. but now, your pooped tucked up under the covers, head on yuujis chest, one of his arms wrapped around you while you watch him scroll through tiktok on his phone. eventually the harsh light of the screen tires your eyes and you fall asleep without realising or getting to say goodnight to yuuji.

3:34am. a hushed noise and a sudden movement shook you awake from the deep slumber you were once in. still half asleep you try and feel around for yuuji but felt nothing. “mmh..yuuji.. are you there?” you couldn’t really see as your eyes were still adjusting to the darkness, but through his thin curtains the light from the moon shone into his room allowing you to see his broad frame sitting up and his shoulders shaking every few seconds.

the room was filled with silence until you heard a broken sob come from his chest. the noise sent a shiver down your spine and you quickly rose up to sit beside him, rubbing his shoulders and arms trying to comfort him. “ y-yuuji what’s wrong is everything okay? do you want to talk about it?” you didn’t get an answer straight away all you got was more sobs from him and his head still buried in his palms. you reach out to touch his cheeks and lift his head from his hands, now it’s your turn for tears to fill your eyes. now adjusted to the darkness and thanks to the moonlight you could see his eyes red and puffy from crying for god knows how long. “what happened my love, tell me please” you rub your thumb along his cheekbone and tears slowly roll down your own. he takes your hands from his face and falls into your chest, letting out a heart breaking cry into your t-shirt. “i-i.. i don’t want to l-lose you (y/n)” thousands of thoughts start flowing through your head as to why he would think that. just before you could respond he spoke again. “we both know i’m not going to be here forever, once i find all of sukuna’s fingers that’s it, i’ll be gone. a-and i don’t want to leave you”. of course you both knew that was going to eventually happen but- “ oh no, why focus on the future yuuji?, we’re here in the present, having so much fun everyday we can. and so what if you find them all tomorrow or years later, i’ll still be around and then, i can find you again, maybe in another life but for now, you just stay with me, here in the present and don’t worry about anything else okay?” by the time you finish he’s looking at you, fat tears still spilling from his eyes. his mouth moving like it’s trying to form a sentence but he doesn’t know what to say. all he knows what to say is: “i..i love you (y/n). so much it hurts, but not in a bad way in the best way i can mean it. i need you, god i need you so badly, nothing means more to me in this world than you. you help me get up in the morning and go to sleep at night, i couldn’t do anything without you. so can you just, stay with me for a little longer? please?” he finds himself back in his previous position with his head in your chest and your fingers stroking his hair. “i wasn’t planning on leaving any time soon silly, your stuck with me for a while” you tell him as you guide him to lay back down to where he was when you fell asleep. “i wouldn’t want it any other way pretty girl” he mumbles into your hair wrapping both arms around you, pulling you closer to him so you can smell the comforting smell of him that you love. “i love you yuuji,never forget that ‘kay?” you whisper while tracing hearts on his torso. “‘kay, i promise, pinky promise.” you look to see him holding up his pinky with a warm smile on his face. you laugh softly as you link pinkies, sealing the promises he made forever.

-end

[sailorsero]

you know i’m stupid for you 1/?

author: claire (@sailorsero​) ship: adult kaminari denki x reader prompt/genre: band/musician!au/poppunk!denki wordcount: 1483 warnings: swearing (for the moment, this is all) a/n: • written for the BNHarem Making Beautiful Music Collaboration - check out the masterlist to see everyone elses!) • thank you to @unbreakablekiribaku​ for the header!  • i do not give permission for this (or any of my writing) to be reposted, by anyone, on this or any other website. please don’t do it! • title from ‘stupid for you’ by waterparks

you know i’m stupid for you part one

***

RIOT! PRESENTS: DYNAMIGHT - A ROTATING HEADLINE TOUR Combining forces for the second annual Riot! Radio/Magazine empire tour are punk pop staples Chargebolt, indie rockers Plus Ultra! and newcomers Rolling Thunder, fresh off the release of their debut album, ‘Revelry in the Dark’. The tour format of a different running order each night, the mix of genres and an abundance of talent promises a sick show you won’t want to miss! The tour starts tomorrow night in Fukuoka, ending in Sapporo at the end of the month. Tickets | Details

Day 1: Fukuoka

***

The past 24 hours had been hectic and overwhelming; the last minute preparations, the packing, the 17 FaceTime calls Mina insisted were necessary for packing, the flight to Fukuoka, the hotel, meeting the approximately 3674 people involved in the tour (okay, really approximately), the soundchecks, the press, making sure Todoroki didn’t get lost (again). It could have been enough to have you considering your plan B vocation of Professional Kitten Cuddler (you’d seen a Buzzfeed article once), if it wasn’t for this feeling, right here and now.

The house lights had dimmed away to almost nothing, causing the steady thrum of chatter from the crowd to surge into a roar of anticipation that matched your own perfectly; waiting sidestage in the dark knowing you were on the precipice of doing what you loved most always made you feel electric.

You’d followed Shinsou onto the stage as the eyewateringly bright lights hit, securing the strap of your bass before looking without seeing out at where you knew the crowd was. You were really here, on this stage, with your best friends, on the biggest tour you’d done so far as a band. You let yourself bask in the joy that brought for a moment longer, before turning towards your bandmates, tilting your head in silent question. Quick nods from Tokoyami and Shinsou and a peace sign from Mina were all you needed before you turned to Todoroki to count in. Everything after that was the most beautiful white noise.

***

8 songs flew by quicker than you could ever remember, Shinsou’s synths fading out as Mina yelled into the mic like she was going for Present Mic’s radio slot.

“Our record is available from the merch table and we are on all relevant social media - @ rollingthunder! Our TikToks are epic! We have been Rolling Thunder, you have been fucking beautiful - goodnight!!!”

“‘Our TikToks are epic’?!” Shinsou rounded on the lead singer as soon as you were all sidestage again.

Mina put her hands on her hips, giving off the energy of an elementary school teacher who had to do this a lot. “They are epic! It’s not my fault you never want to be in them!”

“Maybe that’s why they’re epic?” Todoroki deadpanned, removing the sweat-soaked towel from around his neck.

The snort you gave out at the impossible-to-tell-if-it-was-intended-as-an-insult-or-not-because-it’s-Todoroki insult died off early as you caught sight of him.

Fuck. He’d actually gotten hotter overnight.

Kaminari made a beeline straight for you from the door that lead to the backstage area, 100 watt smile firmly in place. “Hey, you. Great set out there! Totally dope!”

“You were watching?” You were too caught off guard to school your tone into anything less giddy, and you knew you’d be hearing about it until you could hide in your bunk on the tourbus. Maybe not even then if your bandmates didn’t respect the sanctity of the curtain.

“Yeah, of course! We were up on the balcony, in the private bit? You know?” You assumed Sero and Kirishima formed the ‘we’ he was talking about, as they appeared one after another through the same door, grinning widely.

“Yeah, totally, I remember they said there was somewhere to watch the other sets from...cool!”

A part of you died inside as you heard yourself reply and you wondered briefly if there was any chance your whole band wasn’t watching this interaction. Hearing ‘cool!!!’ mimicked in four wildly different attempts at your voice shut that down.

There was no way Kaminari hadn’t heard all four impressions, but he was nice enough to pretend he hadn’t.

“Yeah! So, uh...you could totally watch our set, now! If, you know, you want...” He trailed off, looking hesitantly hopeful and fiddling with one of his many, many earrings.

His golden eyes had been staring into yours for the whole of your conversation so far and you found yourself getting lost in his gaze, all of the noise of the crowd buzzing and the crew swapping the setup over becoming distant to your ears.

Until his bassist slapped him on his back - hard - shit-eating grin all over his face.

“Smooth like silk, Denks!”

“Shut up, Sero!” Kaminari whined, breaking eye contact with you to shove at his bandmate’s arm. 

No one said anything for what felt like the longest seven seconds in history. Kirishima cleared his throat politely and smiled encouragingly, but seemed to run out of ideas after that.

“We’ll watch you guys! But only if you tell us how awesome we were!” Mina’s arm slid seamlessly to link with yours as you remembered how much you loved this pink-haired angel. She was a socialising expert and had rescued you all right before the silence had slid past the point of no return into Awkwardsville.

Kaminari seemed to share your sentiment, as it wasn’t with only a little relief he began to shower the rest of your band with praise. It was only when he’d rambled his way to complimenting the way Tokoyami held his guitar that Shinsou decided it was his turn to steer the conversation. “Don’t you have a drummer? Did he not want to watch our set?”

“Nah, he said he ‘didn’t wanna watch a bunch of electro emos with stupid hair sing about going to Hot Topic or what-the-fuck-whatever’,” Sero cheerfully announced, ignoring the choking sound the apparently-direct quote forced out of the blonde you couldn’t take your eyes off of.

“Wow. He’s charming.” Shinsou replied, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“He is, isn’t he?” Kirishima sighed, sounding like he’d have actual stars in his eyes if you could bring yoursef to stop looking at Kaminari and check. Which you Absolutely Could Not.

You’d met Kaminari at 1 this afternoon, and he’d been pretty much all you’d thought about since 1:01.

***

“Okay, so, Chargebolt - Eijirou Kirishima, Hanta Sero, Katsuki Bakugou, Denki Kaminari. Plus Ultra! - Izu...”

You were pretty sure one of the tour managers was still speaking, introducing the other band you were sharing this tour with, but you couldn’t focus on anything else. Kaminari. Denki. Denki Kaminari.

The ear you could see was adorned with multiple piercings, and the one you couldn’t was covered with a sweep of blonde hair with a black lightening bolt dyed into it. Golden eyes, pink lips. Not particularly tall, or jacked, but lean and muscled where you could see. A black Fatgum Records T-shirt over a black and white striped longsleeve, tucked into ripped jeans that fell into laced up boots. Were those fingers tattoos? It was definitely yellow nail polish and a multitude of silver rings. Talk about ‘exactly my type on paper’. Fuck!

You wondered for a second who exactly it was who had given this man the right. Then you realised he was moving - towards you.

“Hey! Y/N Y/L/N, right? I heard you guys on Present Mic’s show, the Live Lounge? That was incredible!”

Had your mouth been wide open the entire time he was talking? You really couldn’t be sure either way.

“Hey! Yeah, that’s uh...me! Thanks, I was really nervous but he was so cool.”

Kaminari nodded enthusiastically, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Present Mic? Yeah, what a legend! We haven’t been on for a hot minute but we’ll probably go back next album cycle.”

You were pretty sure you were supposed to be making introductions to everyone in the room right now, but before you knew it, it had been fifteen minutes and the only person you’d spoken to was Kaminari. A way-too-stressed-for-the-first-day-of-tour looking woman was trying to politely usher Kaminari away to wherever Chargebolt’s schedule had them being right now, but he hesitated after he said a (hopefully) reluctant goodbye.

“Yeah, so...it’s so cool to be working with you! And, y’know, that work is...touring together, so we could like...hang out! Yeah? If you want?”

You ignored your own manager materialising at your side tapping her watch for a moment longer to nod quickly and breathe out a response.

“Yeah, we could, I want.”

Kaminari’s face broke out into a smile as big as the gag Shinsou was doing behind him. “Yeah. Yeah! Great! See you later!”

You’d pretended not to watch them leave the room.

The rest of your band had been only too happy to inform you that you’d failed to pull it off.

***

i have decided to make this a multi-chapter fic and will post/link a masterlist and link to ao3 when i post there so you can follow this story if you would like to!

ao3  • collab masterlist

[bondsmagii]

(cw: I'm about to get real crass about CSA because it makes me real mad and that's how I cope)

the cultural reaction to cuties is infuriating to me, especially how even defenders feel the need to criticise the hypersexualised camera shots for ""normalising sexualistion of children in film"". Like, this is a thing that is happening in real life, right now, folks! Real Life Kids commonly do dances like these, in clothes like these, in an attempt to copy adult women being framed in shots like that! That's basically a good fifth of Tik Tok! The shots being of kids instead of adults is intentionally horrific, because it's trying to highlight that that kind of societal gaze is what pressured them to do the dances and wear the clothes and everything else; to take a thing that we've all come to accept as normal (8 year olds online twerking to songs explicitly about sex) and make us see how horrific it is, so people might give a shit for once. (A real shit, not that Pizzagate-adjacent thing where people only bring it up in service of criticising something/someone they already didn't like, and never exploring why it's so prevalent to begin with). You know, the filmic opposite of normalisation?? It's incredibly disappointing that people's takeaway appears to be: "ew gross, look at how horny this camera is for literal children. Glad this absolutely isn't a thing that happens in real life that I will go straight back to ignoring while patting myself on the back for identifying this media as Problematic

And the idea that "a pedophile could get off to this" makes any sense as criticism! I guess pedophiles only get off to children in revealing clothing, huh? So all children need to do to avoid pedophiles is, uh... *checks notes* "dress less slutty". I *wish* I lived in a world where pedophiles were genuinely waiting on feature films to deliver them a few shots of children in revealing clothing, instead of trading real CP that has caused untold suffering. Sometimes it really feels like people are more invested in weaponising the idea of suffering children in rhetoric, rather than the welfare of real children. It's the same disconnect that makes it impossible to bring up things like early intervention programs for pedophiles without being called a pedophile yourself (a rich thing to call someone who was on the receiving end, and takes about a year off my lifespan every time).

Every time someone brings this movie up, I feel like I'm losing my marbles. Otherwise smart and insightful people seem completely willing to misread it in the most infuriating way possible. It's like it's the Asch conformity test, and I'm the rube in the last chair wondering whether I even watched the same movie as them. It's comforting to see at least one other person on this godforsaken planet comprehending that The Sexualised Children Shots Are Horrific On Purpose in this movie trying to push people out of complacency

honestly go off like I could not have said this better myself. this is exactly what's been pissing me off about the response to this movie and my post about it in general.

the cultural reaction to cuties is infuriating to me, especially how even defenders feel the need to criticise the hypersexualised camera shots for ""normalising sexualistion of children in film"". Like, this is a thing that is happening in real life, right now, folks! Real Life Kids commonly do dances like these, in clothes like these, in an attempt to copy adult women being framed in shots like that! That's basically a good fifth of Tik Tok!

this is what I cannot get my head around. like, people are freaking out over how this movie normalises the sexualisation of young children, but somehow miss the point that it's already been normalised. the movie would not be necessary if this hadn't already become a completely normal part of society. even walking around the shops in town I see children maybe 10 or 11 years old dressed like Instagram models, faces full of makeup, revealing clothing... it's honestly disturbing. these kids think that's acceptable, they think that's what they need to do in order to have worth, and it's terrifying. if I had my own children, I would be terrified for them. the movie is not the problem. why people can't direct this anger and outrage to websites like TikTok instead, I have no idea. probably because that would require actual work, and we all know these people are addicted to outrage and self-righteousness and absolutely allergic to any kind of effort to create real change.

It's incredibly disappointing that people's takeaway appears to be: "ew gross, look at how horny this camera is for literal children. Glad this absolutely isn't a thing that happens in real life that I will go straight back to ignoring while patting myself on the back for identifying this media as Problematic"

people get so offended when they're made to feel uncomfortable. I have no idea why. I'm trying to work out this thought process but it's simply beyond me. it baffles me that people can see something that's actually happening in the world, and instead of getting angry about the actual issue, they decide to attack the female director of the movie about said issue, who is writing from her own experience. like, how in god's name these people managed to miss the point so badly, I do not know. the manoeuvres they had to do to miss a point that big and obvious should make them all automatic gold medal winners in Olympic gymnastics.

(I do think that a lot of people yelling the loudest about Cuties have probably only seen the Netflix promotional poster and then devoured a bunch of Twitter threads highlighting the apparent problems and possibly a view video essays on YouTube showing the most dramatic and out of context shots of the girls, however.)

And the idea that "a pedophile could get off to this" makes any sense as criticism! I guess pedophiles only get off to children in revealing clothing, huh? So all children need to do to avoid pedophiles is, uh... *checks notes* "dress less slutty". I *wish* I lived in a world where pedophiles were genuinely waiting on feature films to deliver them a few shots of children in revealing clothing, instead of trading real CP that has caused untold suffering.

right? like. this point is so fucking useless. by this logic, we should ban everything with photos of children in it. if a paedophile is going to waste time going to see a full feature movie just to see some young girls twerking-- I mean, why would they in the first place? why would a paedophile do that when they can just sign on to TikTok and see thousands of hours of footage of young girls twerking? and if "revealing clothing" is all it takes, what's stopping this paedophile from going to the local pool and watching the kids in swimwear? what's stopping this paedophile from going and picking up a clothing catalogue and flipping to the pictures of little girls in dresses? the fact that people can compare the content of a feature-length film to actual CP fucking baffles me. like. it's actually insulting to compare things like that -- and by extension, any child on the street in a t-shirt or a dress or a skirt or a swimsuit -- to actual CP. like, who looks at a kid and thinks like that? if you want to stop paedophiles being creeps, you'd have to lock kids up in the house until they're 18 and ban all depictions of kids forever. paedophiles are gonna be creeps no matter what, and they're not going to bother with a full film when they can log onto TikTok and comment something creepy on footage of a real life child who might even message back and enter into communication with them. like, damn. why aren't more people getting mad and outraged about that?

Sometimes it really feels like people are more invested in weaponising the idea of suffering children in rhetoric, rather than the welfare of real children.

they are. "somebody please think of the children" is now the rallying cry of the right (all leading Democrats are secret paedophiles, the LGBT agenda is making Our Innocent Christian Children into perverts) and the left (problematic media is Harming Our Innocent Children, everything needs to be censored and squeaky clean so the Metaphorical Children don't stumble across it and think it's acceptable). it's the quickest way to get people outraged and it works like a charm. as soon as somebody starts rallying under the flag of protecting kids, it gives them a fast pass to power and influence. who wants to be seen to not care about kids? who wants to risk being called a paedophile or a child abuser? unfortunately their eagerness to declare everybody such has resulted in it losing its meaning. now when I see someone accused of paedophilia I no longer feel the usual revulsion but instead a tired suspicion followed by hours of research to determine if they are actually abusing children, or if they ship the wrong thing. to put the numbers into perspective, the one and only time I found out somebody was actually abusing minors, I was genuinely shocked because I had never found a true accusation before in oh, six years? which is unsurprising, seems I have been called a paedophile and told I shouldn't be around children because I like a villain from a YA series. as for real children, none of these people give a shit.

It's comforting to see at least one other person on this godforsaken planet comprehending that The Sexualised Children Shots Are Horrific On Purpose in this movie trying to push people out of complacency

that's exactly it right there -- it's horrific on purpose, but these people can't understand that. to them, literature and art and film is supposed to always make you feel good, and if it doesn't it's mean and abusive and you should have warned for it and also you're an asshole for making it in the first place. for people who only consume media to feel good, and only create it to feel progressive and wholesome, it's inconceivable why people would create something depressing or disturbing. because they're consuming media of only things they like, they assume everyone else is. ergo, if you make something nasty, it's because you're into something nasty. if you write about a murderous villain, it's because you want to be a murderous villain. if you direct a movie about children being sexually exploited, you must want to sexually exploit children.

these people cannot understand that art is supposed to teach and inform as well as comfort and coddle. some art is there to make you feel good, and other art is there to make you take notice of injustice and suffering and make you angry and upset enough to want to do something about it. these people do not understand that at all, and with this kind of logic they would try to ban Holocaust survivors from speaking at schools because it's too upsetting to think about, rather than paying attention to the message that such things get across. we cannot change society without empathy, and to experience empathy for something outside our own understanding and experience, we need to come into contact with people who have lived through it. we need to see it depicted. that's how we learn to feel for others. it puts a face to the suffering and makes it easier to stay motivated and stay mad.

but no. these people just want to be nice and fuzzy and safe. that's all that matters to them, and anyone who thinks they're wrong for doing it must be a paedophile or something. right. gotcha.

[bbyboybrock--archived]

You’re Home (Colby Brock Imagine)

Summary: Sequel to To Pluto and Back. After months back home in Bar Harbor, Maine during quarantine, you have had enough of the being away from Colby. You spend the next few driving across the country just to go home to him.

Written: 2020

Word Count: 2,754

Warnings: A lot of fluff, swearing (minor)

Masterlist

“Call me every day while you’re on the road.” My mother says as she squeezes me tight.

“I will, I promise. I should be back in La in five days, a week if I decided to take in the sights while I’m driving. Are you sure you don’t need me to stay? I can cancel everything right now.” I place my hands on either side of my mom’s face.

“I’m positive. Your brother and sister are nearby if your dad and I need help. Besides, I don’t think I can take any more of you moping around the house. Go home to your boyfriend and friends.” My mom kisses my forehead and goes to stand on the porch so my dad and I can talk in private.

“Got everything you need? Your clothes, GPS, snacks, full tank of gas?” My dad asks with his arms crossed over his chest.

“I packed up my bedroom. I have the ice chest in my car, I’m going to get snacks, gas, and ice right now. Mom packed me to lunch and a few snacks. I have all of my chargers, my spare tires, my overnight bags for when I have to spend the night in a motel. My location is on for you, mom, and my friend in LA. My wallet, phone, and all my little necessities are in the front seat along with chargers. I have the number for a tow company just in case. I also have my mace and whistle. I’m going to be okay.”

“I’m just making sure. I’m your dad, I’m allowed to worry. Here, take this.” My dad hands me a folded up bill.

“Dad, I don’t need money. Keep it.” I try to push his hand away, but he’s insistent.

“Just take it to ease an old man’s heart.” I hesitantly take the money and put it in my pocket.

“Fine. I love you guys and I’ll call you when I’m home.” I wrap my arms around my dad and kiss his cheek. He gives me a soft, yet tight hug back and kisses the top of my head. He lets go and my mom joins him as I grab my filming camera off of the top of my trunk and hop into my car.

****

I’ve been down in the dumps since I sent Colby that care package. He sent me one back after and I filmed that video last week. I’ve been moping around the house since then with the new stuffed animal he gave me. I knew that going back home to Maine to help my parents out with the quarantine would be hard, but it’s taking longer than I thought and it’s been taking a serious toll on my mental health. I only came home because my brother and sister are older with their own families, I knew they would help out our parents when they could, but I knew that they needed me to help too. The three hour time difference doesn’t help either. I’m just so used to being with Colby since I moved in with him two years ago. Being away from him truly feels like I’m missing a part of myself. My mom finally saw how sad I was being away and basically kicked me out of the house. After a few days of thinking, I finally packed all of my stuff to head home.

“Hey, guys, Y/N here! Today, I’m taking you guys with me on a road trip. To make a long story short, I’m going home to LA to surprise Colby and finally move into the house. The only one who knows is Sam, who is helping me make sure Colby doesn’t do anything rash like fly over to surprise me. Because of the virus and all, I’m trying my best to limit my human contact. Unfortunately for me, that means taking a 50-hour road trip across the country by myself. But it’ll be worth it in the end. I’m at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some provisions for the next few hours. When I get back I’ll give you guys a little car tour!” I turn off my camera and grab my bag before heading into the convince store.

I only told Sam because I figured he could be the only one to keep Colby in line while I drove. He’s been talking about coming down to Maine to stay with me for a bit, and knowing him he would actually do it. I would have told Jake and Corey, but I feel like they would let it slip that I’m coming. I told Sam that he could tell them when I’m 5 minutes from the house. I’ve worked really hard planning this perfectly so that Colby won’t suspect a thing. I pre-filmed and edited this week’s YouTube video. I made a whole bunch of TikToks all over my parent’s house so I could post a few while I’m on the road and he would think I’m still there. I took a lot of selfies and boomerangs to post Instagram and to send to Colby. I even drafted tweets in case I got too tired to think of something after a long day of driving.

The only issue is when Colby wants to FaceTime; which is every day. I could probably get away with texting and calling him for the next few days. Despite the time difference, we like to fall asleep and wake up together. Well, I’m always asleep and awake first because of the time, but you get the point. We were THAT couple for the past four months.

I get some shots of me getting gas and filling the ice chest with snacks. This is going to be a long trip, but I made sure to only get a few snacks. I did get a lot of iced coffees just in case the gas station I stop at every morning doesn’t have the brand or flavor I like. You only make that mistake once.

“Okay guys, It’s 8:30 in the morning on a Monday, and in all honesty, my goal is to be in LA by Friday. Unless I drive for 5 days straight, that’s not going to happen. I think I’ll barely make it out of Maine today. Realistically, I probably won’t be home until next Monday, maybe even later. I do want you to know that I’m going to try to be safe and smart. All of my travel clothes are light and comfortable. I’m not going to be driving more than 8 hours a day. I’m going to get to the motels around 5 pm so I can get dinner and relax. I’m going to take a break every two hours to stretch my legs, eat, go to the bathroom, etc. I have compression socks to prevent blood clots. I have no real plans for this trip. Honestly, I don’t care how this goes. All I care about is getting home to Colby. I know that I’ve been talking about how depressed and lonely I’ve been without him, but I know that he feels the same way, maybe even worse. So I’m mainly doing this for him. And bub, if you’re watching this, I love you.” I close the camera again and turn on my GoPros to get some shots of my driving.

****

“Did you hear they might extend the quarantine again?” Colby says on the other line. I’m eating breakfast in my car. I spent the night in Denver. I have two more states to drive through before I’m finally in California. The trip is taking a bit longer than I anticipated. It’s Friday and I’m a quarter of the way home. I’ve already driven through ten states, but the fact that I have about three to four more days until I can be in Colby’s arms again is what’s keeping me going.

“I didn’t hear about that. I’ve been trying to spend less time on the internet lately. That sucks. That means we’re not going to be able to see each other until like next year or something.” I can’t help by smile. Sometimes when I lie I have the urge to laugh. I’m generally good at hiding it, but I keep thinking about the look I’m going to see on Colby’s face when I see him.

“Don’t say that. This is the longest we’ve been apart since we started hanging out. It’s already been killing me the past few months. Maybe I could come down to visit you for a few weeks.” He’s been saying that so often, I’m afraid he’s going to sneak out of the house to surprise me in Maine.

“I would love that, babe, but we talked about this. I don’t want to risk you getting sick. I know it’s hard, but we need to wait this out, I promise everything will change soon. Very soon. Oh shoot, I got to get my laundry before my mom gets upset. I’ll call you tonight. I love you.”

“I love you too, princess.” I hang up and just stare at my phone for a bit. A picture of Colby that I took before I left is my lock screen. I didn’t technically lie about the laundry. I brought only a few days worth of clothes and I needed to wash them. So I grabbed breakfast near a laundry mat so I could kill two birds with one stone. I’ve also been texting Sam to keep him updated. We still don’t know how I’m going to surprise Colby. We agreed to talk about it when I’m closer to California so we don’t jinx anything. He’s had to stop Colby from buying a plane ticket a couple of times. I’m so glad that I told him or else this whole trip would have been for nothing.

By the time I get to a motel every night, I get so anxious that I want to start driving again. The only thing keeping me sane is editing parts of the video and stopping at gift shops in every state I drive through to get souvenirs for everyone. I get something specific for Colby and me and then a bunch of cute $1 items for everyone else so they can choose what they want. Our friend group is too big for me to buy bigger things for each of my friends. I’ve already spent close to $300 on gas on this trip so far.

****

“Hey, is anyone near you?” I ask Sam as I pack my stuff back into my overnight bag.

“I’m in my room and everyone is either asleep or getting breakfast, what’s up?” I hear Sam moving in the background.

“I’m definitely going to be in Los Angles today. I have four and a half hours left, give or take, until I’m at the house. Are the plans for today set?” I double-check that I have everything before heading out to my car. I load my stuff into my car and head to the front desk to check out. I pay and return my key before finally heading back to my car.

“Yeah, I mean there isn’t much we can do. Thank God the shops are finally, open. I can distract Colby by going to the mall or something. Jake and Corey are going to be home to let you in and help you get your stuff. I’m going to see where Colby is and tell them right now. Hopefully, they don’t let anything slip.” I hear a door open in the background.

“Yeah, I would definitely kill them myself if they did. Anyway, I have to start driving. I’ll text you when I’m about halfway there and then call you when I get there. Keep me updated on your end please!” I start the car and plug in the address into my GPS app.

“Will do. Drive safe and talk to you later.” Sam hangs up the phone as I readjust everything. I turn on my road trip music and get ready to get breakfast.

Last night when I was talking to Colby, I was texting Sam. We finally settled on how I was going to surprise Colby. Sam is going to get Colby out of the house while Jake and Corey sneak me into the house. They’re going to also help get my stuff out of my car. While Sam and Colby are out, I’m going to get a quick tour of the house and change out of my gross road trip clothes so I can look like a decent human. The three of us are going to hang out downstairs. When they get home we’re going to call them into whatever room we’re hanging out in and boom, surprised boyfriend.

****

Jake and Corey help me set up the last few cameras so I can get Colby’s reaction. They also helped me hide my car. Not that Colby would notice, but I didn’t want to take any chances. They showed me around the house a bit, and honestly, I almost didn’t recognize it from when I was looking at the house with them months ago. Seeing the house in person feels so different than seeing it in videos and FaceTime chats with Colby. Being here makes it real. Sam texted us saying that they were around the corner. That’s when we turned on the camera. I brought lunch for everyone so the three of us are just eating in the kitchen and catching up.

My heart is racing. I don’t even know why I’m so nervous to see my own boyfriend. Maybe it’s because I have no idea how he’ll react. I’ve been kind of giving him the cold shoulder the past few days because I’ve been driving. We haven’t talked as much as we have been for the past four months while I was in Maine. I don’t why, but part of me feels like he’ll be a different person.

“We’re home!” I hear Sam call out from the front of the house. My heart immediately drops to my stomach from nerves. I tightly grip the counter that I’m sitting on to keep myself from falling off.

“We’re in the kitchen. We have lunch for you guys.” Jake responds. I stop breathing for a second.

“I’ll be there in a second. I have to go put my things down.” Colby calls out. I’m so glad that we hid my stuff. I had a feeling Colby would go to his room first. Maybe he’s still the same Colby I left here four months ago.

Sam walks into the kitchen while putting his phone away. He walks over to me and gives me a quick hug. We all wait, whispering, for Colby to join us in the kitchen. The nerves don’t leave my body as he takes longer to come back. Eventually, we hear his footsteps on the stairs.

“Sorry I was… Y/N?” Colby stops dead in his tracks when he sees me. He blinks a few times before a huge grin creeps on his face.

“Hi,” is all I can manage to squeak out. I managed to lose my voice at the sight of Colby.

“Y/N, is that really you? What are you doing here?” Colby starts walking towards me. I hop off the counter and meet his halfway.

“I’m home,” I whisper as I hug Colby, “I missed you so I came home.”

Colby hugs me back for a second before letting go and placing both hands on either side of my face. He looks deep into my eyes and I can’t help but start to cry. I haven’t seen Colby in so long, I can’t believe that I’m standing right in front of him. He kisses my forehead and engulfs me in a hug. I squeeze him tight like he’ll disappear if I let go. I’ve been gone for so long that I forgot what it felt like to hold Colby in my arms.

“I can’t believe you’re here right now. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Colbs. I missed you so fucking much it hurt. I finally feel whole again.” For the first time in months, Colby leans in and kisses me softly. Everything feels right in my world again now that I’m here. Even though I’ve been back in LA for at least 20 minutes, I didn’t feel like I was home until this very second: in Colby’s arms.

[shatterthefragments]

Questions Tag Game

Thank you for tagging me @catholicnicky!

Hmm I'm supposed to tag 20 but I'll tag:

@kiaya, @caffeinatedbraincell, @randofando-spoonie, @cowgaykermit, @boutiquetraveltravelboutique @rhubarbdreams

If you want to play :)

1. Name/Nickname: Shatters <3

2. Gender: *shrugs noncommitedly*/nonbinary fits best

3. Star sign: okay so I took a thing and I'm going to assume that "Sun in Pisces" is this? bc i have no clue any time i look at that :eek:

4. Height: it is to my delight that I can definitely say 5'3" and not actually 5'2"! Bc I'm only a couple inches shorter than a friend and that would mean I'm taller than 5'2"!

5. Time: at the time of this Q: 12:20... ah I should get ready for bed soon... (longer by the time I post this at a little past 1 am)

6. Birthday: Feb. 26

7. Favourite Band: Currently? Maybe Polyphia? Most played currently at least. I've been vibing with Nothing But Thieves, Daughtry (again), 3OH!3 (i know), Florence + The Machine (though I have yet to do a discography playthrough yet), (ok so I'm scrolling through my saved artists for this one), The Neighbourhood, some local bands, and The Pretty Reckless lately.

8. Favourite solo artist: oh dear god. Um. Loving and/or getting back into: Rina Sawayama, Toby Fox, Ichika Nito, Tim Henson, Lil Nas X, King Princess, Hayley Kiyoko? idk it could be a lot more. But for Reasons it currently has to be Lil Nas X <3

9. song stuck in my head: because I caved and got TikTok (derogatory) because of the Chocolate Potato Cake (from 1912!) [and if you didn't just hear that in Dylan's voice you should find it on Youtube it's great] it's Maneskin's Beggin. When that's not recently heard, it varies between many other songs. If I whistle, it's usually a simple march we played in band. Maybe Soda. Maybe the hook from The Worst. Who knows~ not me!

10. last movie: either Waves or Wolf it's been so long since I've watched something. But soon hopefully Hartenstraat!

11. last show: Leverage! When I rewatched it last year or something!

12. when I created this blog: perhaps 2012 or 2013? I deleted most of my blog and started over though at around 15k posts so it may have been before that? But I don't think it was much before 2012 if so.

13. what I post: please tell me fuck if i know aaaaah whatever I see when I pop on when I have the capacity to actually reblog or queue it i guess? mostly related to whatver i'm fixated on <3 (speaking of - draining my queue for the tumblr post+ strike so that'll suck to get filled again afterwards :P)

14. last thing I googled: "Sugar and spice makes everything nice quote"

15. other blogs: theoldguardinshatters is my tog sideblog! I have some other... rather inactive blogs... not really sure I want to share them. Some are straight up empty.

16. do i get asks? not often

17. why I chose my URL: I'm a poet! jk jk (or am I?) but I wrote a poem back in middle school... actually a few versions based off the same premise/line (i was going to see if I could find it but looking back That Far in my blog is like "yeah, there's no way I'm faking my mental illness even when I fear I might be" so I'm just. not. going there. like holy shit maybe i should purge my old posts again...) But if I remember maybe I'll put what I can remember under a cut?

18. following: after swearing I'd never follow more than 100: 304. But many aren't active anymore :( (also literally me 5 yrs ago: 'oh god I follow more than 30 people I'm freaking out, it's too many!')

19. followers: 234, but who knows how many are porn bots I never really kept up back in the day

20. average hours of sleep: ...that is a good question... idk. maybe 5ish when I work and maybe 9ish when I am just me on my own?

21. lucky number: culturally: 8, personally, also: 3,7,13,17,19,23

22. instruments: formerly flute and tenor sax. I haven't exactly kept up oops >.< (so i guess rn I just whistle or hum or sometimes sing)

23. what am I wearing: shorts and a t-shirt

24. dream job: bookbinder, or some other creative pursuit that allows me to work with my hands - cake decorator? other arts? idk. maybe secretary? maybe fancy ass barista/pastry decorator? editor? illustrator? i have no clue please send suggestions <3

25. dream trip: with friends. Not having to drive the entire time. Longer than what I'm currently able to do... maybe a couple months... maybe in europe or asia? maybe just road tripping across canada. idk. It sure would be nice to see them again <3 hopefully camping with one (maybe two?) mid august-ish though! :D

26. favourite food: dim sum (bc I really miss going out with family!), sushi, desserts, pies, quiche, eggs benny, Popcorn, I'm not sure. those are also safe foods texturally usually too though.

27. nationality: canadian, half chinese.

28. favourite song: *shrugs* right now perhaps Soda or The Worst

29. last book I read: ...i don't know... maybe a reread I did of What They Always Tell Us or Martin Wilson's other book We Now Return To Regular Life last year?

30. top 3 fictional universes I would like to live in: ...fuck. I don't know. Most of the fantasy universes I read are fanfic... Maybe.... Waves Cinematic Universe - now that Gabriele has a boat, we could boat! Some universe with wings! A universe with UBI *sideeyes gvmt* Stardew Valley universe! :D

from what I can remember maybe (again - Several Versions of this were written... back in middle school...)

Shatter the fragments to see what's left Release the weight That's on your chest

There's nothing left For you to see Nothing left But apathy

[lovemesomesurveys]

an internet/social media survey. 1 - Are you one of those people who shares absolutely everything on social media? What do you think about those who do? I do tend to overshare in surveys and I share quite a bit on Twitter. I’m pretty quiet on my other social media sites, though, in terms of that. It only bugs me when people share something and then someone asks about it and they’re like, “I don’t want to share it on here” or “I don’t want to talk about it.” You just did, though? Why post about it then? Plus, my nosy ass wants to know haha. I see that all the time on Facebook.

2 - Does anyone in "real life" know that you take surveys? Would you be embarrassed if they found your blog? I don’t think so. Back in the Myspace days people knew cause I posted them there, but no one in “real life” follows me on here. I’m surprised I shared those back then cause I don’t want anyone to see them now. Although, I wasn’t as open back then in surveys. I took the more basic ones and didn’t elaborate like I do now.

3 - When you receive a text message, do you reply straight away or wait a little while instead? It depends.

4 - Who was the last person you blocked on social media? Did you have an argument that lead to that happening? I don’t recall. It was probably some spam account on here.

5 - Aside from Tumblr, what websites do you spend the most time on? I spend a lot of time on YouTube. 

6 - What was the first social media account you remember signing up for? Are you still a member of that particular website, if it even still exists? Ooh. I’ve had an online and social media presence for so long... like it was probably something that doesn’t even exist now.  I remember some teen sites I was on that I guess were like the social medias of the day. For example, there was this one website I remember called Kiwibox, where you could interact with other people, post stuff, and it shared like trending topics and whatnot that I was a member of in the early 2000s. It was pre-Myspace. I don’t think it even exists now, but if it did I’m sure my account was deleted long ago for being inactive. 

7 - How many social media accounts do you have now? Do you use them all regularly? If not, which ones do you think you update the most and why? I’m on all the common ones. I use them all, but I’m more active on some than others. Some I check regularly but rarely post. For instance, I’m super active on here and I post on Twitter quite a bit. I check Facebook a few times a day and “like” some stuff, but I very rarely post. I check Instagram and Snapchat, but not daily and I rarely post or even interact on there. I spend the least amount of time on those two.

8 - Are there are any popular apps/social media sites that you've never got into or signed up for? How come? Hmm. Like I said, I have all the main ones I think.

9 - Do you take surveys on any other website apart from Tumblr? Nope. 

10 - Before Tumblr existed, what kind of blogging site did you use (eg. LiveJournal, Xanga etc.). I had a Xanga and LJ account. 

11 - Is there anything you miss about websites like MySpace, or do you prefer social media the way it is now? The Myspace days were interesting that’s for sure. I miss the hype of changing up my page and adding stuff, picking my profile song, rearranging my top 8, changing my display name, follow forever trains, comment 4 comments... haha what a ride.

12 - How old were you when you first got the internet at home? Was it broadband/wireless or did you use dial-up? I remember it wasn’t long after my brother was born, so it was sometime in 1999. I remember when my mom brought home our first computer. Those were the days of dial up/AOL. Gah, I do not miss that. 

13 - Are you old enough to remember life without any kind of internet access whatsoever? What kind of things did you do to fill the time? Ha, yeah. It’s crazy to think of the days before the internet, but I did have them. I actually used to play outside *gasp* That’s shocking cause ya’ll know I’m a hermit crab. I used to get so tan back then cause I spent so much time outside. Other things I used to do was play Barbies for hours, play with my cousins, read, color, and watch TV.

14 - Have you ever gotten into an argument with a stranger online before? Lol yeah.

15 - Overall, would you say social media is a good thing or a bad thing, or does it depend on how you choose to use it? It definitely has its pros and cons. There’s a dark side to social media and the internet in general, but a lot of good can be done with it as well. 

16 - How much time do you think you spend online each day? Is this something that varies depending on the weather? I spend a decent amount of time online for sure, but it does vary. The weather has absolutely nothing to do with it. 

17 - If your internet went off right now and you knew it wouldn't come back on for several hours, what would you go and do instead? Well, it’s 3:50AM so I’d watch some TV and attempt to go to bed.

18 - Since getting the internet, what's the longest period of time you've gone without access to it? Did you miss it as much as you thought you might? Probably the times I had surgery. I didn’t have to go completely without because once I was able to I was able to rent laptops that were available for patient use or access a computer while there. That was really nice during the couple times I had to spend a few months in the hospital. Even the shorter stays, like a week or two, I had some access at some point. But yeah, I definitely wasn’t on nearly as much during those times. Not at all the first few days/week. Then when I was back home and had my laptop I still wouldn’t feel up to spending much online. I did miss it, but I spent so much time resting and sleeping during the early stages of recovery so it was fine for awhile. I did start to get stir crazy, though.

19 - What's something you find yourself doing less of because you spend too much time online? Hm. I can’t think of anything I do less for that particular reason. 

20 - What websites do you spend the most time on? Do these fall into any particular category or are they just random? Tumblr, YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter.

21 - What website from your childhood/teen years do you wish still existed? I miss Xanga a lot. The survey community was poppin back then. I miss the days, not so much the websites themselves, of Myspace, Neopets, playing games on Disney Channel’s and Nickelodeon’s websites, making dolls, and the AOL teen message boards. Good times, good times. Much nostalgia. 

22 - Have you ever met up with anyone in real life that you first met via the internet? Did you get on as well as you thought you would? Nope. I had online friends back in the day that I talked to all the time and actually texted with. I even talked to them on the phone a couple times. :O That was during my Jonas Brothers days and I got close to a few people that I met through a Jonas Brothers’ message board and chatroom. I was pretty involved on there. I can’t believe I used to do that cause I wouldn’t do that now.

23 - What's your thoughts on internet dating and is it something you would ever consider for yourself? I probably wouldn’t do it myself, but hey if that works for people then go for it. *shrug*

24 - Do you tend to shop more online or in person? Is that something that's changed since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic? I do all my shopping online now since the pandemic hit, but even for a few years prior I was doing most of my shopping online. 

25 - Speaking of the pandemic, did you find all the stories on social media quite scary or overwhelming at the beginning? Absolutely. 

26 - If someone on social media annoys or upsets you, are you likely to tell them or just hit the hide/block buttons? Nah, I’ll just keep on scrolling. If it’s that bad then I’d likely mute or just delete. 

27 - Are there topics you won't post on social media about, simply because they always end up in an argument? I don’t post about politics. 

28 - Are you friends with your parents and family members online? Do you limit what you say because you know they can see it? Yes and yes. Like, even though I don’t post anything bad or risqué lol I still hide some stuff from my grandparents just because they wouldn’t get it, ya know? I’ve done that before and my Nana called my dad and asked if I was okay cause I posted some relatable self-deprecating meme or something haha. It’s sweet of course that she cares, but yeah I didn’t want her to get worried and concerned over stuff like that.

29 - Are you using the internet for anything else except this survey right now? I’m watching ASMR videos on YouTube as well.

30 - Do you access the internet more via a phone, tablet or laptop/PC? Which device do you prefer overall? I use my phone a lot for certain things and my laptop for others. Like, I much prefer the Facebook and Twitter apps, and I access Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok, the Kindle app, and my email on my phone as well. I use both for YouTube. I only like to access Tumblr on my laptop, though, as well as Pinterest.

[txtdiaries]

extra elongated tag game O.o

tagged by the main bitch @gohyuck​ thanku ray ily

tagging: @hi-mishamigos​ @sweetsoobinie​ and @bffsoobin​

O N E

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

ummm I’ll go with three groups: txt, nct, and ateez. for txt the song was crown I think! nct (dream) was boom (even tho I stanned long before it was released, boom locked me in) and for ateez it was HALA HALA.

—

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

to be a millionaire by like,,, 30.

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

My heart says miss more days of school but my brain says hang out with friends more.

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

I always carry headphones around even if I never use them when I go out, just incase.

favourite type of plushies and why?

the long, super plush kind that mold to your touch.

favourite song right now?

selfish by madison beer (not my FAV but I’ve been listening to it a lot lately).

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

how to not be so irritated at everyone all the time lmao.

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

IM A CLOWN idk if I have any funny stories per say??? my whole life is just kinda tragic. the first story that popped into my head: once in high school my best friend and I snuck out of an assembly and hid in the bathrooms because we hated our school and everyone else in it (+ couldn't leave campus cause we couldn’t drive yet), so we stayed there for the rest of the hour just playing music and hanging out in the handicap stall. not funny but shows the kinda person I was in hs lol.

headphones or speakers? why?

headphones most of the time but speakers when I’m in my room writing at like 2 a.m.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

at all times I am craving chicken alfredo

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

I use Spotify!

ten questions (by raya, answered)

1. favorite item of clothing?

I really like a lot of my long trench coat jackets I have! I think they’re rly classy and pull an outfit together.

2. if you had to smell like one scent for the rest of your life what would it be?

Lavender OR the oatmeal and shea butter body wash I use bc it smells lovely.

3. favorite painter? why?

I don’t really have one.

4. what’s your favorite horror movie (and if you don’t like horror, why not?)?

Silent Hill just bc it was the first ever like, FUCKED horror movie I ever watched without my parents.

5. iphone or android?

Iphone.

6. favorite tiktok trend (and if you don’t like tiktok, you can talk about how much influencers suck)?

I don’t have tik tok nor do I like it but I REALLY like the one trend where people play i’m just a kid by simple plan in the background and recreate their kid pictures (only bc I’m a nostalgia enthusiast lmao).

7. if you could wake up with any new ability what would it be?

I’d want the ability to time travel / teleport.

8. favorite superhero/supervillain/antihero?

Peter Parker / Spiderman has been my favorite since I was a kid (Tom Holland is v cute and amazing, but my personal fav is Andrew Garfield just bc his Peter was so SOFT and patient and dorky).

9. if you could only dress in one color for the rest of your life which color would it be?

black.

10. who’s your ult and give me five reasons why.

my ult is na jaemin (he’s the literal sun, his smile is beautiful, he’s fkn weird, he’s patient, and he’s kind).

ten questions of my own:

what is your favorite movie of all time?

describe your childhood in three words?

favorite holiday?

favorite vacation spot?

what do you think of the education system? are u a fellow slave to the gpa?

what is your hair color?

what talent do you wish you had?

what is your major + why (if you’re in hs, what do you plan on majoring in)?

do you like kids or do you merely tolerate them?

any pets?

—

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

—

FOUR

the ultimate tag: answer whichever ones you want to because there are a lot and then tag a few blogs you’d like to get to know better!

PERSONAL

name: n/a (lol)

nickname: lana

birthday: April 19 2000

zodiac: aries bitches we ride at dawn

nationality: american (gag)

languages: English, Spanish, some Korean, some French

gender: female

sexuality: idk man. straight? I guess?? (im romantically attracted to males + females but not sexually attracted to females) god. who fkn knows.

height: 5'3 ish

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: idk! music I guess. it gives me lots of inspo

meaning behind my url: I wanted to represent my blog with something really intimate and chronologically laid out, and also personal. txt for Tomorrow X Together and diaries bc diaries are where you tell your deepest secrets and for me personally the first time I ever wrote stories of my own was in my diary when I was young.

blog established: may / june ish of 2019

followers: 987

FAVORITES

favourite animals: dogs, elephants

favourite books: I have a LOT idk I love a lot of the classics

favourite colour: sea foam greenish blue / sea blue / dark coral

favourite fictional characters: theodore finch (atbp), olly bright (everything, everything), four (divergent)

favourite flower: lavender 

favourite scent: lavender, shea butter + oatmeal (I have a body wash that smells like that and oof), and uhhh the smell of fresh laundry???

favourite season: autumn, winter

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 10 on a good day, 6 on a normal day.

cats or dogs: dogs

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee

current time: 9:46

dream trip: London or SK

dream job: I’d love to work with idols / entertainers in the music industry. I’d also love to be a fashion editor / designer. 

hobbies: writing, reading

hogwarts house: slytherin

last movie watched: wicker park (funny story actually, the airport scene from wicker park influenced the final airport scene in six twenty-four, aha)

last song listened to: the scientist by coldplay

no. of blankets you sleep with: one duvet and one fluffy blanket over the top of that

random fact(s): uhhh I make up the 1% of the population that has all of: the INFJ-T personality type, red hair, and green / hazel eyes.

—

F I V E

5 things i can’t stop listening to (was 10 but I can’t think or find 10 isjfsfk)

selfish - madison beer

not mine - day6

thanxx - ateez

inception - ateez

21 - gracie abrams

[techcrunchappcom]

New Post has been published on https://techcrunchapp.com/more-parents-seek-adhd-diagnosis-and-drugs-for-kids-to-manage-remote-learning/

More parents seek ADHD diagnosis and drugs for kids to manage remote learning

Susan McLaughlin’s 12-year-old daughter, Isabela, was a straight-A student before the pandemic. Isabela, who lives in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio, excelled at science and math and was already getting high school credit for algebra.

But when her school shut down in March and classes shifted to Zoom, Isabela’s grades took a nosedive. She signed on for her virtual class from a desk piled high with books, papers and stuffed animals and then spent hours trying to clean her room instead of focusing on schoolwork. She found herself “paralyzed” by assignments, McLaughlin said, but she wouldn’t tell the teacher over email that she was struggling, as she would have done in person.

“It was meltdown after meltdown after meltdown,” said McLaughlin, 53, a mother of three from Delaware, Ohio, who works in a high school with chronically truant children.

McLaughlin recalls one time in April when Isabela, who was already diagnosed with severe anxiety, was given a language arts assignment and “fell to pieces.”

“She was crying and screaming and hyperventilating and started to get some tics, moving her head and flapping her arms. She had never had them before. That’s when we started to consider that it might be ADHD.”

McLaughlin spent months trying to bring more structure to Isabela’s day by writing lists, schedules, timelines and checkboxes. But as someone who was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder herself a decade ago, McLaughlin realized that she was seeing the same behaviors in Isabela. She thought, “I’ve got to nip this in the bud.”

Isabela is being evaluated by a psychiatrist, a process that takes several hours and requires her teachers to fill out questionnaires about her behavior. McLaughlin hopes that with an ADHD diagnosis, Isabela will be able to get a prescription for a stimulant medication — such as Ritalin, Adderall or Vyvanse — to alleviate her symptoms.

“I know it’s super controversial sometimes. But I’ve been medicated for a long time, and I can’t function without taking it,” McLaughlin said. “If I don’t take my medication, I see an immediate difference in my ability to manage complex tasks, clean the house, get up and cook dinner. So I’m hoping it will have the same effect on her.”

Susan McLaughlin and Isabela Burgeson do schoolwork.Maddie McGarvey

Growing problems

McLaughlin isn’t alone in seeking an ADHD assessment for her child during the pandemic. Two dozen children, pediatricians, psychiatrists, psychologists and researchers all described a crisis among children suffering from inattention and tanking school performance.

Data from specialists involved with diagnosing and treating ADHD show just how much parents are struggling to get help: They are flooding an ADHD support line with questions, and ADHD diagnoses and prescriptions for related medications have soared.

“Covid has been a tipping point that has pushed some families to get help,” said Dr. Melvin Oatis of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, who said the stress of the pandemic, the shift to remote learning and social isolation have created “anxiety-provoking” conditions that affect students’ attention.

Experts warn that children who appear to have symptoms of ADHD should have thorough evaluations to rule out other conditions or stresses related to the pandemic before they seek medication.

“Our concern is that pediatricians and families be very careful to not simply list the symptoms of ADHD, but to look at the child’s history and use differential diagnosis to make sure we have the best possible explanation for the symptoms,” said Dr. Arthur Lavin, a Cleveland-based pediatrician who has served on several national committees of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Related

In the meantime, parents are seeking any help they can find. The number of parents calling a help line set up by CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder), a nonprofit that supports people with ADHD, rose by 62 percent since the pandemic started, the organization said. Traffic to its website last year grew by 77 percent compared to 2019.

“We’re getting a lot of calls from caregivers who are working at home alongside their children and starting to see more issues with their behavior than they did before,” said April Gower-Getz, CHADD’s chief operating officer.

They’re certainly trying to get their children evaluated more frequently. The Child Mind Institute, a New York-based nonprofit that helps children with mental health disorders and their families, recorded a 20 percent increase in the number of appointments to discuss medication last year compared to 2019. The “lion’s share” of the appointments were to discuss medication for ADHD, said Dr. Harold Koplewicz, the institute’s founder.

And more parents are getting their children diagnosed and treated with medication for ADHD.

Athenahealth, a technology company that creates practice management software for health care providers, published research in May, drawing on data from its customers, that showed an increase in patients ages 13 to 17 who received new diagnoses of ADHD. From the week of March 9 to the week of March 30, the proportion of visits by teenagers that involved first-time ADHD diagnoses rose by 67 percent. There was a similar spike among teenagers — particularly boys — who received prescriptions for ADHD medicines for the first time.

The cases also seem to have picked up in recent months, said psychologist Keith Sutton, director of the Bay Area Center for ADD/ADHD. He said he had a “sharp increase” in inquiries during the fall.

“Before the summer, everyone was just trying to get through those months,” Sutton said. “Then, in October, when grades were coming back, parents were thinking we’re in it for the long run, something is going on here and we need help.”

Isabela Burgeson thrives with in-person schooling but has been struggling during virtual learning.Maddie McGarvey / for NBC News

Why now?

Experts attribute the increase in inquiries to a variety of factors, including the loss of structure and accommodations in the classroom setting.

Parents are also seeing their children’s troubles during school hours firsthand. Dr. Devang Patel, a family medicine physician in Illinois who specializes in ADHD, is one of several clinicians who said he is fielding more requests from parents for medication for their children.

“When the problem was in front of the teachers, it wasn’t really the parents’ concern,” Patel said. “But now they are at home trying to make their kid sit still for just half an hour and seeing how difficult that is.”

Children also miss the school environment, which helped ameliorate such issues. Dr. Jenny Radesky, a Michigan-based developmental behavioral pediatrician, said she has started prescribing stimulants for children as young as 5 and 6 this year. Their ADHD symptoms were manageable in supportive classrooms with flexible teachers, sensory tools and clear routines. But when those structures went away in March, their symptoms flared up.

“I’m watching kids who used to love school become unenthused and unmotivated,” said Radesky, who said she was worried about the long-term impact of virtual learning. “They need the social environment at school to learn how to regulate themselves. Without that, they are really struggling.”

Related

Parenting challenges

Sasha Harris-Cronin’s 8-year-old son, Z (he chose his own name when he was 6), who is in the third grade, was diagnosed with ADHD in 2019 but didn’t start medication until last August.

Before the pandemic, Z’s school provided accommodations, like seating him directly in front of the teacher, where he wouldn’t be distracted, and making sure he ran around outside during recess.

Harris-Cronin said the shift to Zoom for Z was “awful.”

“It was so difficult. There were so many tears,” she said. Z missed the structure of school and couldn’t focus on Zoom classes. He would take an hour to write four words of a writing assignment. Days would go by when he got “absolutely nothing” done.

When she and Z realized that they were “looking down the barrel of another year like this,” they visited a psychiatrist, who prescribed Ritalin and Metadate.

“It was mind-blowing,” Harris-Cronin said. “He wrote a poem the first day. It’s not a miracle cure. But boy, is it an effective tool.”

Finding relief

Jahkim Hendrix, 18, of Atherton, California, suspected that he had ADHD for many years. But he didn’t get formally evaluated until late last year, during his senior year of high school. He had been falling behind academically the previous year, and when the schools closed in March, it didn’t take long for him to “give up completely.”

“The teacher would be speaking and I’d go blank,” he said, adding that students objected to putting their cameras on for their teachers, which made them — and him — even less accountable. “I would mute my teacher and go on TikTok and stay there for hours. That’s what sustained my attention.”

He barely passed his junior year of high school, and his grades slid from Ds to Fs as he started his senior year last fall. He and his mom, who was also diagnosed with ADHD as a child, decided it was time to seek help. It took two months to get an appointment with a psychiatrist, who evaluated him for over five hours in mid-December.

In late January, he was diagnosed with ADHD.

“I cried with relief,” he said. “I have always been told I have high potential but low performance, and I didn’t know why. Now I have a name to the thing that I’m facing, as well as tools and resources to help me.”

Worried doctors

Many experts said parents and clinicians need to be extra cautious about diagnosing ADHD during a pandemic because a child might show more signs that meet the criteria for the disorder. A diagnosis simply needs six or more symptoms listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the book of mental disorders recognized by the American Psychiatric Association. They include making careless mistakes, struggling to stay focused on tasks, having trouble organizing activities, not following through on instructions, avoiding schoolwork, losing items and being easily distracted.

“The pandemic has substantially disrupted the routines of every family, and that is going to make a good number of children feel like they can’t pay attention so well,” said Lavin, the Cleveland pediatrician. “ADHD might be one of the explanations, but only one. But the stress of a pandemic may also cause inattention.”

Medical experts say someone with ADHD was very likely to show signs before the pandemic began. Both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry recommend lengthy evaluations that take in children’s full developmental histories, surveys parents and teachers and compares symptoms to peers their own ages and genders.

A 15-minute office visit with a pediatrician isn’t long enough to rule out other causes of inattention, such as anxiety, depression and problems at home, said Sutton of the Bay Area Center for ADD/ADHD.

Susan McLaughlin and her daughter, Isabela Burgeson.Maddie McGarvey / for NBC News

Lengthy dependence

As many schools remain closed, some experts said they were concerned about the long-term impact of remote learning for young people with ADHD, particularly teenagers.

Maggie Sibley, a psychologist and researcher at the University of Washington and Seattle Children’s Hospital, has written a research paper, accepted by the Journal of Psychiatric Research, showing that symptoms are worsening and stress levels are skyrocketing among adolescents and young adults with ADHD during the pandemic. That has prompted numerous problems, including social isolation and disengagement from class.

“A person with ADHD typically has fewer friends and less social activities in their calendar,” she said. “A lot are getting their only social interactions at school.”

Students with ADHD were at particular risk of depression and dropping out of school, the study concluded.

“If you are in a situation where you are experiencing chronic boredom, getting poor grades in school, socially isolated and stuck in a house, it’s a recipe for depression,” Sibley said. While suicide isn’t an inevitable result, “we have to be vigilant down the road, especially since we know from research that when people with ADHD get depressed, they are more likely to make suicidal gestures because of their impulsivity.”

Susan McLaughlin will find out whether Isabela has ADHD at a follow-up appointment with the psychiatrist on Tuesday. While they wait, Isabela continues to battle with her assignments, particularly on Thursdays and Fridays, when class is entirely self-directed.

“I just want her to be everything she can be, a happy, well-adjusted 12-year-old — or as well-adjusted as anyone can be at this point.”