#I miss them so much I can't even explain it
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YOU ARE MARRIED??!!
-Wayne Manor, Gotham-
Cass is not having a good time. From the Arkham breakout last week all the way to losing a bet with his siblings on who is going to attend the gala with Bruce. And now this annoying lady kept asking her about her preference in men or something. And Bruce can't help her since he is being occupied by those rich assholes about investment or stuff.
Vicky: So, Miss Wayne. Is it true that you have a secret boyfriend?
Cass: No.
Vicky: Then how about that pict-
Cass: I'm already married.
Vicky blue screened as Cass finished her sentence. Cass takes the chance and slips away from her before she starts barraging her with questions. Revealing that she is married may not be the smartest thing she has done but she is very annoyed at people who keep asking her about her secret significant other. If they want to ask, at least use the proper term.
Just as Cass reaches the hallway, she is scooped up by two strong arms and is carried away to the Batcave. Cass looks to her side to see Dick and Jason both holding one of her arms each and looking very pissed. Well, Dick looks very pissed. Jason looks like he is having fun. Cass doesn't struggle and just lets her brothers carry her to the Batcave to have the talk.
They put Cass on the couch and proceed to guard the exit of the cave on the off chance that she decides to escape. Not that she would because she and her husband have been thinking of breaking the news to their respective family for awhile now.
She waited for a few hours while playing on her phone. Her main phone. Not the one she used to contact her husband since this family has a lot of competent hackers. She knows that being married is like a big deal. But she doesn't expect it to be such a big deal.
When she says everyone is here, she means everyone. From all his close family all the way to Selina (Bruce's fiancee), Roy (Jason's boyfriend), Kori (Dick's wife), Kon (Tim's boyfriend), Jon (Damian's bff) and even Harley and Ivy is here. She is also pretty sure that Clark is listening from somewhere but it's not like she is trying to keep it a secret anymore, so the more people there are the less she needs to explain.
Harper: So what are we here again? I would rather be home to polish my new gun than in this cave.
Dick: Since everyone is here, I would like to apologize for calling all of you in such short notice.
A murmur ranging from 'it's fine' all the way to 'I want to sleep' sounded in the room.
Dick: Anyway, let's get to the main topic shall we. For starters, I would like to say that none of us wishes to control who you dated nor who you choose to be your partner.
Some more murmurs sounded in the room.
Dick: HOWEVER! We would really appreciate it if you wish to marry someone, at least notify one of us since being married is a big deal.
More murmurs sounded as all of them have a rough idea on what the topic going to be.
Dick: So, the person in question, would you like to explain yourself?
A spotlight lights up on top of Cass, directing all the people's attention to her. She doesn't even know there is a spotlight installed in the cave.Cass stands up and looks at the crowd. She replies, "No."
Everyone is stunned by her reply. They expect many types of replies but no is certainly not one of them.
Tim: Fuck you mean no?
Alfred: I would prefer this conversation to remain civil and proper please master Timothy. I would also like to express my extreme displeasure at the fact that I am not notified by your marriage Mistress Cassandra.
Cass goes still at Alfred's sentence. Okay, shit is really serious. As much as she loves messing with them, she would rather not have her food burnt on the inside. (No one knows how Alfred manages to do that.)
Cass: Ehem, I'm just messing with you. It is a long story but to make it short, my husband and I met when we were in Hong Kong. We met after he got roped in one of the gangs that I was busting. After we met and a little misunderstanding, he helped me to dismantle the underground drug labs across Hong Kong.
Tim: So he is also a vigilante?
Cass: Ex-vigilante. He has a daughter now so he is taking care of her.
Dick: You get pregnant?!! How? When?
Cass: I did not get pregnant. But she is technically my daughter.
Jason: Like how Lian is with me?
Cass: No. Biological daughter.
Kon: Umm, guys. I think Bruce needs to rest a little. His heart has been beating a little too fast for even him.
Dick and and Tim are closest to Bruce realizing that Bruce's face has been impossibly pale for quite a while now. They take him to an empty couch and let him lay there and rest for a while. Everyone's reactions range from amused to straight up concerned that Bruce's career as Batman might get cut short today.
It takes a while but as soon as Bruce is fine, they continue another round of questions and answers.
Bruce: How long have you been married?
Cass: Next week is our 3rd anniversary.
Duke: Wait. Didn't you plan to go to Hong Kong for some time next week? You even ask me to cover your patrol because you say you need to go somewhere.
Cass: I don't lie. I missed last year's anniversary since there was an Arkham breakout at the time.
Duke: Dude, still not cool. You are going on a date with your husband while I need to spend hours running on top of buildings around Gotham. So not fair.
Jason: Was the present you asked me to send last year also was for your husband?
Cass: Yes.
Jason: I've been your middle man all this time and I don't even know.
Barbara: I found it! This is the registration for marriage between Cassie Cain and Daniel Fenton. You used a fake name?
Cass: Yes. You will know otherwise.
Bruce: Why do you hide it?
Cass: I'm not sure all of you are gonna like him and vice versa.
Dick: Is he a bad person? I will kill him if he treats you badly.
Cass: No. He doesn't trust all of you at first.
Steph: And why is that?
Cass: He thinks the Justice League is working with the government. So by extension, all of you are associates of government to him.
Steph: Why is he running away from the government? Is he a criminal?
Barbara: No. He doesn't have any criminal records in his name. Except for the fact that he is practically nonexistent before he is 18, there is nothing wrong with him.
Tim: Is it a forged identity then?
Cass: No. The government wiped away his records.
Dick: What? Why?
Cass: I don't know.
Damian: I expect you to at least do a background check on someone before marrying them, Cain.
Dick: Did you get married with someone you barely know? Do you understand how dangerous that is? What if he just dipped you after you got married?
Cass: *Rolls her eyes* He isn't a bad person. I make sure of that at least. I know he is some sort of meta tho-
A green portal suddenly appears out of thin air making everyone be on guard except Cass. She expects Danny to come out of the portal to greet her but what comes out baffled her.
A young girl that looks a little like Cass riding on a big wolf comes out of the portal swiftly towards Cass. Everyone is just about to shoot their weapons when the girl's word shock them.
???:Mama!
Everyone: Mama?!!
#danny phantom#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#batfam#danny x cass#dead silent#cassandra cain#cass x danny#justice league#dc x dp
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Seo Changbin can't multitask
Summary: It's surely magical how at one glance just a regular day in your life can become one of the most memorable and special days in your life given you're sharing it with a special person. It's especially interesting when everything starts by you asking your boyfriend to do a TikTok challenge to test his multitasking skills. Warnings: Reader is gender neutral. Consumption of alcohol. A few kiss scenes. Changbin being a sweetheart. It's mostly just fluff, but if I missed anything please tell me. Reader being whipped(who wouldn't honestly!). Reader realizing they are in love. Reader being worried for a minute about confessing. Just pure fluff. A/N- this is inspired by this lovely request I have received. Sorry it took me this long to write this, I couldn't really make up my mind on how to write this so I rewrote this couple of times. I really hope you will like it. I really loved writing this so I hope you will enjoy reading this. Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated, I would love to hear your thoughts^^ Word count: 3k
If you like my work you can buy me coffee ❤️
Masterilist
If you're curious this is the TikTok challenge I am refering to.
Growing up you imagined that falling in love would be something really magical, something really majestic and fairytale like. Maybe something out of Disney movie! Especially saying your first I love yous! You always thought you would exchange them with your partner in the most romantic situation ever. Not in a million years would you think that you would realize that you were in love on a random Tuesday doing a random challenge you saw on TikTok with your boyfriend.
It was a most casual day, nothing special had actually happened. The most exciting thing was that Changbin was supposed to come over later in the evening. Naturally you were more than excited to see him, due to your busy schedules you didn’t get to see each other that much. So it was safe to say you missed him quite a lot.
You were also really excited to try this new challenge with him. It was no news that Changbin couldn’t multitask. So when you saw a challenge where basically men had to cut out different shapes on colorful papers while telling a story you just knew you just had to try it on your boyfriend.
“Baby I’m here!” Hearing Changbin’s booming voice immediately put a smile on your face. How was is possible that even being in his presence immediately put a smile on your face.
“I’m in the kitchen baby!” - You yelled out as you continued stirring the pasta sauce. Changbin had said earlier that he was craving some. So you went out to make some, you even bought some white wine to go with it.
“It smells so good baby.” Changbin mused as he hugged you from the back.
“It will be ready in two minutes baby, can you help me serve the table before that? And open up the wine please? It’s on the counter.” You asked, but not before kissing him on his cheek.
“Of course baby!” Changbin squeezed you one last time before getting to work. He was so cute waddling around carefully not to disturb you as you finished up the pasta. It was something else watching him do something simple yet domestic. You couldn’t explain it but it really warmed up your heart. Also it kind of amazed you how he just knew where everything was, even the wine opener. You didn’t even remember most of the time where you put it. You might wonder what the big deal was but it just showed how close you were. Thinking about it you also knew his house like the back of your hand. You knew where he put everything and all. You hadn’t been dating that long so it was an interesting observation of how well you two actually knew each other.
“I’m all done baby! He cheered as you finally finished carefully putting pasta on the plate. You were sure he would like it, it smelled just amazing. Youwere glad you really put your heart into it.
Walking to the table with two plates you couldn’t help but smile at the careful but the still a bit messy way he had set the table.
Changbin had already poured the wine too and everything, he even had bought some cake and sweets with him and set them up too. It was another endearing thing about him how he never came at your house without bringing you something.
“Baby!” You couldn’t help but jump a little when he cheered quite loudly. He immediately got up from his chair and walked over to you talking your hands in his. What baffled you the most is when he got on his knee all dramatically.
“What are you doing Bin?” You asked as you tried to control your giggling at his silly antics.
“What I’m doing? I will tell you what I’m doing! I am going to kiss the magical hands of my baby for making something this delicious!” And to make his point more apparent he leaned in and covered your hands in kisses, not missing a single knuckle.
You couldn’t help but burst out laughing, he was so sweet and silly. “You’re so cute Binnie.” Leaning in you connected your lips in a short but loving kiss. “I’m taking you like my cooking.”
Changbin smiled and pecked you softly. “I’m saying that I’m regretting not buying a ring for you. So what if we have been only dating for two months.”
Smiling you shook your head. ”My cooking can not be that good!”
“First of all how dare you it’s top tier, second of all even if it wasn’t, the fact that you got out of your way to do something for me speaks volumes about how kind and loving you are. As I’m saying marriage material.” God you loved this man.
Oh.
Oh.
You were in love.
You loved Seo Changbin.
As if happy you finally realized it your heart felt like it doubled in size, it just bloomed in joy. You felt like you could yell it on top of your lungs, to let everyone know!
You gazed into his loving eyes, full of light and joy, sparkling oh so beautifully.
Suddenly you were rendered speechless. Your pulse quickened, your breath fastened, hands felt more clammy. You just couldn’t muster up anything to say. It just baffled you how nervous you got in a second. It was Changbin! The person you you felt most comfortable and safe with. Why couldn’t you say you loved him? You two had been dating for two months and he told you that he would marry you, why couldn’t you say something way more simple? Why did you feel so nervous now? Why couldn’t you tell him that you love him? This felt like such a right time too. Maybe you should think over your emotions first. Not that you needed any thinking about it. As soon as you realized everything just clicked together, like it was the most natural thing to be in love with him.
Taking a deep breath you forced yourself to say something. “All in it’s time okay baby?” Leaning in you gently held his face and kissed him, more passionately and now. If you couldn’t voice just yet how you felt you would try to show your feelings through the kiss.
Changbin gladly reciprocated, standing up slowly he also held onto your cheeks to bring you closer and deepen the kiss.
Everything seemed to disappear. It was only you and Changbin. Nothing else, not that it mattered anyway when you two had each other.
You only remembered about the forgotten dinner when you leaned back for some air.
“Baby the food will get cold.” You giggled at the annoyed huff from Changbin when you dodged his kiss.
“I want to kiss you though.” He tried to kiss you again but you skillfully avoided his lips and made him kiss your cheek instead.
“Dinner first! I promise I will kiss you as many times as you want later.”- You suggested smiling.
Changbin thought for a second, his eyes not leaving yours. Then quickly held your face so he could quickly peck your lips. “Deal!”-He muttered against your lips before giving you another quick peck. You couldn’t help but mirror his grin. He was such a dork.
The dinner was mostly quiet, with you occasionally talking about how your days went. It was comforting and somewhat healing to just eat dinner together and sip some wine while talking about mundane stuff of everyday life. You could get used to it and definitely wouldn't mind if this was an everyday occurrence. His earlier marriage rant really had shifted something inside you.
After eating you quickly tidied up with Changbin insisting that he do the dishes because that was “the least he could do” as he said.
So here you were now, sitting on your couch sipping your wine, enjoying each other’s presence, with some soft music playing in the background. You were debating if you should try the challenge with him, you were enjoying yourself and you didn't really feel like moving even a centimeter.
In the end you couldn’t resist the temptation. And decided to ask. “Binnie, I saw this challenge earlier on TikTok, will you try it with me?”
Changbin raised an eyebrow, looking intrigued. “What’s the challenge?”
“Nothing special, I just thought we could try it. I’m not going to post it or anything, but I think it will be a cute thing to do. You know we can look at it later, maybe years later and just reminisce you know?” You tried to not show too much excitement but you might have failed at that a little bit. Also it flustered you how you slipped up and said how you could at the video years later. You really saw future with him, but was this a good time to say this? Two months wasn’t that long to have those types of conversations? Or was it? You and Changbin were in for the long run, you surely knew that but still, it did make you feel a bit nervous.
Maybe Changbin noticed the little bit of hesitation in the end of your suggestion, or maybe he just felt like it, but he leaned in and gently kissed your lips which momentarily made you forget how to breathe. “Of course baby, what do you want me to do?” His voice was gentle, so loving.
God you loved this man.
“One second!” Somehow, with your legs feeling like jelly and your heart fluttering uncontrollably in your ribcage, you managed to get up to get the supplies for the challenge.
Changbin looked at you for a second then at the camera, a playful smirk appearing on his face. Suddenly with the most dramatic gasp ever he clutched his heart. ”Not my baby, my darling targeting my biggest weakness! How could you do this to me baby! When you think you know someone!” Suddenly he straightened up and gave you a playful glare. “For this betrayal you shall pay double the price! I demand as many kisses as I deem necessary and cuddles on top of that!”
You set up your phone and started to record, you would edit the video later if it got too long.
You handed him some papers on which you drew some flowers and hearts earlier and some scissors. “Basically, it’s a challenge to test your multitasking skills, I will also do it. You see how there are different shapes drawn on the papers? You just have to cut them out while telling a story without interruptions, like how we met for instance! Sound good?”
For the nth time that day you found yourself giggling at your boyfriend’s silly antics. Leaning in you kissed the top of his nose. “That’s a given baby, I will give you as many kisses as you want and maybe even more!”
Changbin grinned triumphally, his chest puffing out in pride.
“Okay let’s do it! I will make sure to win this challenge! Also you can’t back down I have the evidence of your promise on camera right there. So brace your pretty lips.” It was cute how fired up he got.
He looked at the papers his face suddenly more serious. In the end he chose glittery pink paper with a heart drawn on it.
“How we met huh? Okay!” He took the scissors and brought it to the paper. “I was with Hyunjin at the new café he wanted to go to. He found it on Instagram or something and he liked how artsy it was, so asked me to go with him, so I agreed.” Not to lie you were impressed on how well he started. He was talking confidently as he carefully started to cut out the shape. “It was a sunny day too. Then…” You not breaking the eye contact you still noticed how his hands faltered. He must have not noticed, he was gently smiling at the fond memory. “We got americanos because we had a lot of work to do…” He must have noticed he had stopped so he quickly picked up the pace. “And then…” He faltered again. Resumed to cut and faltered again. ”Wow this is hard…” He sighed, looking a bit annoyed at the paper, which wasn’t even halfway cut yet. “And then you bumped into me, because you weren’t really looking forward and was distracted by something. My drink spilled over me and…” Another falter followed with an annoyed huff. “You were so sorry, you kept apologizing” A few scissor movements without saying anything. ”You looked so cute; I couldn’t even take my eyes for you.” His stands stopped moving at all. “You were so embarrassed you almost looked like you were about to cry, but you looked to beautiful I can’t even describe it with words, you were apologizing and muttering about how you had the most horrible day ever. You were wearing all whites which made you look more angelic than ever. I couldn’t even say anything. It was the first time I understood the meaning of being rendered speechless by the sheer beauty of someone and I'm friends with Hyunjin! You were just so captivating. There was something so enchanting about you! And then you offered to buy me coffee and to pay for my dry-cleaning. That was when I noticed that my shirt was dirty. Honestly I didn’t give a damn about it I had clothes to change into at the studio but I agreed, because it meant that I would see you again. I quickly gave you my number and left with Hyunjin saying that I was busy and all. Honestly, I left so quickly because I was afraid you would change your mind. Usually I’m confident and everything but you just made me feel so nervous! “Changbin smiled softly, his eyes gentle and loving, looking at you with all the love in the world. You were speechless. Maybe even seconds away from crying, because hearing him talk about meeting you, sharing his thoughts…You couldn’t even begin to describe how it made you feel. You felt so loved and cherished and appreciated. Listening to this, you felt like a hero of a most touching romance book or a movie who gave a damn.
Smiling Changbin continued. “And that evening when you texted me I was so overjoyed! You asked me when was I free and I…” You didn’t let him finish, not giving a damn about anything, you wrapped your hands around him and kissed him.
You could feel Changbin’s hands fumble for a second. He clearly wasn’t expecting you to kiss him like that. He felt stiff for a second but he quickly regained his senses and leaned into the kiss. You heard a small thud, he must have thrown away scissors and papers somewhere away, because in a second his arms, free of anything, held you oh so tightly, as if he was afraid of letting you go.
“I love you!” you muttered against his lips, as you leaned in to kiss him some more.
Suddenly Changbin leaned back. Bewilderment written all over his face. Honestly he was a sight to behold. With his hair all messy from your wondering hands, cheeks all flushed. His glasses he decided to wear today sitting a bit crooked on his nose. His lips looking swollen and being most prettiest shade of pink from your kissing. God you loved him.
“What did you say?” His voice trembled, his wide eyes looking at yours, searching for answers.
You returned the confused stare. What was he getting at? Did you say something?
“You love me?” Changbin looked like he couldn’t believe his own words.
As the realization of your slipup hit you felt your face flush with embarrassment. Suddenly all you wanted to do was to crawl somewhere and hide.
“Baby…” Changbin held your face gently and made you look at him. “Do you love me?”
Unable to hide it anymore you nodded your head before answering. “I do. I love you.”
Changbin looked at you, his face portraying all sorts of emotions, you couldn’t really descipher. “I’m sorry. I know we haven’t been dating for that long. But I love you. A lot. I really love you…”
You didn’t even have time to even blink before his lips were on yours. He held you so tight as his lips devoured yours. This kiss was nowhere near countless small loving kisses you had shared before this. This was just something else. Something so raw, so passionate, so full of love and longing. It was whole another experience. You had never been kissed like this before. It made you feel so alive. Like there was this fire inside of you, making you feel ignited. You felt like you were on top of the world, like anything was possible and reachable. You felt truly alive.
Alive and falling.
And you did fall.
Changbin had deemed it necessary to just fall with you on top of him on the sofa.
Your sofa creaked in distaste for the sudden weight but both of you chose to ignore it. Choosing to kiss each other instead. Truth be told, you wouldn’t even give a damn if it broke into a million pieces right now.
“I love you!” Changbin whispered against your lips. “I love you.” Another peck. “I love you so much!” He grinned against your lips. “God I’m so happy I could die.” Another short but loving kiss followed by countless another, not limiting to your lips. He kissed you everywhere he could reach you.
“Please say it again.” He asked you after making sure to cover every visible part of your skin in kisses.
“I love you Binnie.” Smiling you caressed his cheek, loving how he leaned into your touch. His eyes looking at you with so much love, shining oh so beautifully they could rival any star in the universe.
Your heart had never felt fuller.
It was surely a miracle how seemingly most uneventful and regular day at first became most memorable and special day for you. And you hoped it would be followed with many more days like this with Changbin making them more memorable and special with you.
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#stray kids#stray kids x reader#skz#skz x reader#stray kids fluff#stray kids imagines#skz fluff#skz imagines#stray kids scenarios#changbin#changbin fluff#changbin scenarios#changbin x reader#seo changbin#seo changbin x reader#skz changbin#stray kids changbin#changbin x you#changbin x gn reader#stray kids x you#stray kids x gn reader#skz scenarios#changbin imagines#changbin drabble#stray kids drabbles#changbin drabbles
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I'm in my bed crying over jikook again.
The thing is, I don't even have the proper words to express what I'm feeling.
It's all so..God I don't know. Improbable? Crazy? It's crazy.
You have two humans that have the most pure souls, with impossible high-stakes lives, that somehow found each other and also found the most beautiful love I have ever witnessed in my 32 years of life.
The probability of this happening is almost zero. It shows there are really bigger and smarter things than little us at play in life.
They went through so much, and so much more than any of us will ever be able to imagine, yet they remained pure at heart, with their love growing ever stronger and more potent by the day.
They let us in on everything, and showed us the true depth of their feelings openly (but even so, it's written all over their faces).
They simply care, a lot. The little things, the trips, the quiet moments, all of it, they really do care. It's not for show. It's real.
It's like we're getting a glimpse of something that doesn't belong to us at all. Yet, they are generous enough to let us experience it vicariously through them. Isn't it an act of love on their part? They don't have to do it. It's not even smart or safe or reasonable for them to do it. But they do anyway. Maybe because they wouldn't be able to help it, even if they wanted to?
How weird it is that our love for them is that strong? We've never even met them. Yet we feel for them something more unconditional than what we feel for some people we've actually met. How strange, don't you think? So we cheer on and support and we feel it all. We care too.
And I can't explain how witnessing jikook's love has been wonderful, how it has filled my heart with an immense amount of joy and reverence and beauty. It is a mystery.
Somehow I feel it's not even about them, even if it is, obviously so. It's simply that love. Isn't something most of us miss? Long, crave for? Wish for everybody.
If all the people would be in love like Jimin & Jungkook are, there would be no wars in the world anymore. It would be completely different.
The lack of love produces incredible darkness, and it's only love that can fix everything.
So I think that's why I cherish their love so much. It is so very precious, so very important, in ways they might not even understand. The fact they have such an audience being exposed to their love, feeling all the feelings, it helps the world heal a tiny little.
It's not a small thing. It matters.
If we can all fill our little corner of the universe with that type of love, we would've won all the battles, done what we came here for, and call it a day.
They've gifted us the incredible gift of are you sure, where their love was quiet and peaceful and certain. They've given us the gcf. And Letter. And then there was Rosebowl, and MMA, and Black Swan. A thousand moments. Again and again they've showed us.
Now they are enlisted together, and I think that there's nothing more to add. Nothing to prove. Nothing to show. It is self-evident and we can only smile and be happy for them.
What an incredible journey it has been, full of laughs, of crying. So many tears (of joy).
When they will come out of military, we can say that a chapter of their life will close, and another one will open. Hopefully a even happier one than the one before.
So yeah I've decided to make a rather big edit about it, this first chapter, those 10 years of love.
(And you're not ready with some of the music I chose, it makes you feel ALL THE THINGS, prepare tissues)
Sorry for this post that is going nowhere.
Sometimes I simply need to scream my love for jikook. They truly deserve it.
Aren't they wonderful? Yes. Yes.
Take care lovely jikookers 💜
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THE WISEWOMAN R.R AU (CHAPTER 2)
word count: 2.2k
"I'm sorry we had to meet this way, Miss Heyman." my future boss started with this. He is a pretty tall man with no hair and a lot of beard. People know him as Triple H or "The Game" but right now he is the CEO of WWE, replacing his problematic father in law, Vince McMahon.
Yes, I was studying the whole day and night yesterday. I knew some stuff from uncle but it's literally common sense. I have always respected the work he is doing in WWE but my interest wasn't that deep. Now it had to become deep since I want to appear as well-educated as much as possible. I don't wanna be perceived as a spoiled, dumb-blonde nepo niece.
"Me too, Mr. Levesque but see, this is how life is." I said with empathetic tone.
"I don't know what Paul has told you about the payment but you are gonna get paid depending on your performances - you do good numbers, you get a good check. Your uncle is a very well-known and respected figure in this business and I am not sure how the crowd is going to react to all of this" what a great way to explain that I will have a salary only if I do my job right.
What a shocker.
"Don't worry, Mr. Levesque. I see where you are coming from. In this male-dominated industry, it's rare to see a female talker " I chuckled but this isn't the end.
"I know that my uncle is one of a kind but I am going to specify that he insisted me to do this job and if he didn't think I was suitable for it, he would have never said it in the first place, let alone persuade me to leave my current job. Therefore, I'm really confident about all of this. Sure, the WWE fans have a very fixed and nostalgic tendencies but I think they are going to get used to this short-term novelty." I spoke with pure confidence in my voice and body language.
My boss was left speechless. I get these reactions a lot honestly. When people see me, especially men, they have no idea how I can shush them just in a few seconds...or minutes. Depends on the monologue I'm going to drop on them.
"I uh appreciate the confidence, Miss Heyman. I hope you like it here and who knows, maybe you can become a full-time employee" Paul reached his arm for a shake and I shook his hand.
"Thank you for hiring me, Mr. Levesque and can't promise anything about the last part" I chuckled.
"Just call me Hunter. We are not that formal in here". He gave me a faint smile.
"Noted". I nodded my head and someone knocked on the door.
"That must be him" my boss stated. "Come in" he yelled.
Our eyes were at the door and there he is.
The Tribal Chief as he is called. The Head of the Table. His tall and stoic build radiates so much power and dominance. That's an enormous man right there. Well, he is The Rock's cousin, so I get it. It's in the genes.
He was wearing a black Nike hoodie and black Nike shorts combined with black Nike sneakers. Is this man a Nike ambassador? What's next? Nike boxers?
Let's not go there, Sophia.
Roman had his dark brown hair in a bun but it was not very slick, his hair looks fluffy and he had this pretty thick salt and pepper beard.
Yup, such an uncle. An athletic one, though.
"Roman, you are just on time." the boss greeted him.
Roman's eyes were all on me looking at me from head to toe. There was a nuance of disbelief in his eyes mixed with a smirk on his mouth.
How do I interpret this?
"This is gonna be my Wise Woman? Pf." Something like this is going through his mind.
The Samoan man was walking to us. Of course, he has that confident "Look at me, I'm the toughest of them all" gait. And he has the right to, yes. That man and his whole bloodline have achieved so much in this business which is worth of respect.
"Meet your temporary Wise Woman". Hunter said with a state tone.
"So you are Sophia." Roman flashed his 24-carat-white-pearl smile. "Paul just told me a lot about you."
"And you are the Tribal Chief my uncle never shuts up about" I replied and he chuckled. I haven't even started yet.
...
"Funny, your uncle has never told me Barbie was his niece. If you are looking for a Ken, this ain't the place for you." ah, we started with the "witty comments", took him long enough.
"Thank you for the concern, Mr. Reigns but finding a Ken is not in my top priorities right now."
"I see, I see. You are all about business, right?" he asked and slightly furrowed his eyebrows.
"Correct". I nodded my head. And there was this awkward silence.
He started showing me around the building and finally we went to his locker room. "This is our little place where me and your uncle like to scheme" Roman said with a smile on his face.
"Woah. It's pretty spacious." that's all what I managed to say.
When I heard about the locker room thing, I didn't imagine it to look like this. This place looks...neat. Well maybe my views about wrestling are stereotypical but in my mind there was a very small, messy place with the heavy smell of sweat.
This locker room is like an apartment. There are a few black leather couches and armchairs, fridges which are probably full of energy, sugar free drinks or whatever athletes drink, maybe even some food. The walls were painted in dark blue like the brand of the show Roman is in - Smackdown. There was also a big TV on the wall where he probably watches the other matches and stuff.
It's cozy, not gonna lie.
"The best room is for the champ" he said quietly but with that cocky tone and winked at me.
I didn't know how to react. I just nodded and smiled.
"Have you ever slept here?" I asked out of nowhere.
"Hell no. When we travel with the private bus, we usually sleep there since it's like a big apartment and when we use the private jet, we head off immediately." oh, so he has private everything I see.
How much does that man make?
"Sometimes your uncle is in a mood of seeing around the place we have to stay at. He knows the good stuff" Roman sighed. "I'm gonna miss him. Hope he recovers soon."
"He will. He is in good hands. My auntie is gonna take after him." I said trying not to burst out laughing. Yes, in fact, my cousins said she is really going to take after uncle and I'm sure he wants to die right now cause he was damn ready to call a hot babysitter chick and he would have gotten better in a blink of an eye or at least he would claim so.
"What? Your auntie? As in his ex-wife? Miranda?" Roman was as confused as me. Uncle has enlightened him, 100%. I nodded my head and Roman started laughing. He has a very cute laugh actually, not as deep as his voice.
It's strange seeing an enormous man like him, perceived as tough and scary, laughing like a little kid.
"Then there is no place for concern. He is gonna be back before we even realize it." he wiped the little tear that formed in his eye.
I wonder if he's married. He might be. I don't know but I am not going to ask him, that's for sure.
"I think that uncle is exaggerating. Auntie Miranda is not that bad". I tried to defend her but Roman gave me the look of "oh, you don't know anything".
"Clearly, Paul has never told you the spicy details". This line alone made me think of how does my ex, Robert, paint me out in front of his friends.
I didn't realize I completely zoned out until I saw Roman's big hand waving in front of my face.
"Is everything alright?" he asked with a tiny bit of concern in his face. Very tiny bit.
"Yes. I would like to ask about my schedule, by the way" he made a sign for me to sit on the black leather couch.
"Would you like some coffee, tea, energy drink or why not wine or champagne?" he asked while going to the fridge.
"Thought athletes didn't drink alcohol." I raised my eyebrow.
"Sometimes we need it, sweetie." he slightly chuckled and opened the fridge.
"Water would be okay, thank you, Mr. Reigns." I heard him chuckling while reaching for the water bottle.
"Nah, don't Mr. me. Just call me Roman...or Joe." he came to me and handed me the water bottle, looking at me dead in the eye.
"Which one do you prefer?" I asked with a little smirk.
"Anything works for me." he shrugged and I thanked him for the water. "My Tribal Chief works the best, though." he said innocently and I laughed.
"Yeah, no" I shook my head with a fake smile on my face. "The Tribal Chief stuff is only for camera. I'm not crazy like my uncle" I just got flashbacks from yesterday how he started talking about his Tribal Chief stuff. A fatal 4-way match at the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania 40.
"There's no way he said this" His whole face is smiling when he laughs, his eyes almost go away. It's adorable, not going to lie.
"He so did" I sighed.
"Paul takes his job very, very seriously and if we're being real there would be no Tribal Chief without him. He made me think of ways that elevated me and my bloodline to a whole new level" Roman suddenly started speaking on a serious note. I am so glad to hear that so many people appreciate my uncle but nothing will ever beat the things he has done for me.
"That's why he is my favorite man ever" I sighed.
I saw Roman reaching out to the cupboard and taking a list from there.
"So here's the schedule." he handed me the paper and Lord, when I saw this, I almost passed out.
"That many appearances? How many promos I have to prepare?" my eyes almost popped out after seeing everything.
"It's Wrestlemania season, baby. It's tough out here." he stroked his gold shiny belt which was over the cupboard.
"Can I hold it?" I said looking at that magnificent championship which was literally dripping in ice.
"Sure. You better get ready to hold it a lot." I stood up and he handed it to me. I put it over my shoulder exactly like uncle does and not gonna lie, I feel powerful.
"Whoa. That's a bit heavier than I imagined." I spoke frankly.
"It looks good on you." Roman complimented me. "Look at yourself." he pointed at the mirror at the other side of the room. It was really looking good on my pleated light brown dress.
"May I wrap it around me?" I asked with enthusiasm.
"Let me do it for you." he took the belt and wrapped it around my waist.
My eyes were glued to the mirror.
He got a bit closer to me and his muscle figure completely towering over me and I am with heels. I can't imagine if I'm not. His masculine cologne hit my nostrills just right.
"You smell so good." he suddenly said and caught me a bit off guard.
"Thank you." I managed to say.
"Your waist is so little." he remarked as he chuckled softly and glued the belt. It really looks very big on me.
"Are you working out?" he asked.
"I do pilates." I replied and turned to him. He had that impressed expression on his face while I was expecting him to criticize me or be skeptical.
"Great. It does a great work." he stated as he was glancing at my body and I furrowed my eyebrows. "I mean in getting in shape." why does he look nervous?
If I don't say something soon, he will probably turn red.
"Well, it can't beat yours." I chuckled slightly. "You probably train for like 8 hours a day or something."
"Sometimes it's 8, it depends. But usually is like 3 or 4." my jaw was on the floor.
"Crazy. I might die if I have to do a workout of yours." I shook my head accepting my fate.
"I can figure something out for you. We can train together sometime." Roman suggested.
"We'll see if I will ever prepare for that...physically and mentally." I gave an uncertain answer.
"Come on. You can make me do some pilates and you make me do weights. I think I'd be a fun hang out."
Hang out.
"Probably." I squinted my eyes trying to visualise this and I couldn't help but imagine him doing some pilates exercises and I couldn't help but laugh. I put my hand on my mouth.
"What did you just envision, young lady?" Roman seemed confused.
"Nothing." I lied. "I just...remembered something funny."
He gave me that look of suspicion, obviously not trusting what I'm saying and I just laughed again.
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So, I've been a bit open about my mental health on here since it affects how I experience and interact with judaism, but I'm wondering how you all balance it? I've found that antisemitism does not specifically cause the recent episode/s I have been having, but it makes them worse, and I find that it makes it even harder to engage with judaism, so I'm currently in a Sisyphean spiral. I guess for me, my brain has been so high-alert about this stuff that it completely shuts down, but not engaging with my jewish community is just as detrimental to my health as antisemitism is. Plus, I'm just angry at the thought that something like antisemitism would prevent me from being with my community.
#jumblr#jewish politics#antisemitism tw#personal thoughts tag#i'm going to shabbos services tomorrow since i miss my community so much#i am very protective over my community. i've reached papa bear levels of being protective about them. so it does hurt when i can't be there#bonus points to those of you with bipolar/PTSD/schizophrenia/anything i might be missing#just because i find those to be underrepresented in general. and also because it might help me out personally.....#to be clear i don't mind if anyone with any condition (or perhaps even none) contribute respectfully! this isn't an Exclusive Conversation#i don't even know how i am going to explain to them why i missed so much. i feel so behind right now#i emailed my rabbi so hopefully we can schedule a meetup and i can pour my soul out about it haha#it sucks talking about this but i really don't have mentally ill jews to talk to offline (as far as i know)#but i am open with my offline community about my issues so i don't think this will surprise them#i'm trying to work through my toxic masculinity surrounding shame about how my mental health presents so i'm pushing myself to be more open#though i will say that if someone is reading this and thinks they can trigger psychosis or whatever: it's not going to work like that
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~
#they speak!#it's probably just the illness that's making me extra irritable but like.#roommate kept coming up to me this morning going oh did i wake you up? i'm sorry if i did. did i do that or no? i'm really sorry.#and i kept telling him to stop saying sorry because i didn't have the brain power to phrase#'you could've been more considerate of your volume but you also have the right to use the common space so it's whatever'#but he said it to me again before i went to my room just now and it's like. ok. shut up.#if you actually cared that much u would've just been quieter in the first place actually.#anyways. annoyed. there were some annoying customers in the store today but it was whatever.#i feel like my fucks to give had already worn out with all the ppl in my social circle/my parents and the recent ongoings of that#[redacted] was being passive aggressive to me in the group chat and it's like. ok! idk what u want from me.#and i'm grateful for them for coming over and helping me with cleaning last week#and it's those sorts of actions that let me know they care and want good things for me#but like. i haaaate telling them anything because even innocuous non-private things get turned into judgement with them.#also. more and more i can feel how i'm drifting away from h and now with retrospect i can see how we mutually hurt each other :)#i keep coming back to this one period where i really wanted to take them to try dimsum and they kept saying they were too scared to try it#and in their new friend group they regularly go out n get dimsum together. which on the surface is like. why didn't you want to go with /me#i told you i wanted to share what i liked and i would explain what things were and i could do the talking and you still said no#but it's also very much a reflection of how i always rolled over and enabled them. i never challenged them. i was always passive.#i also feel like i'm heavily neglecting e and a recently and i can tell how the physical distance is affecting us and idk. it's weird.#anyways. another post that should've been a journal entry! lol!#when [redacted] helped with cleaning they also buried my journal under my like#300 packets of sesame candies and i can't be bothered to dig it out. also my bandaids are missing now. <3#ik this also sounds passive aggressive but genuinely appreciate the help i just kinda hate how they think hidin everything in boxes is good#'we need to get you some more storage boxes and containers!!' actually i think that will be the opposite of helpful.#i need everything visible and on open surfaces so i can 1) remember they exist for me to use and 2) not have barriers for me to get to them
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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
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im actually really worried that im not that interested in &j anymore like ivd been having a hard time writing about it and talking about it online and i mean i talk about it a lot irl but idk like people have been knowing more than me and im starting to feel so incredibly inferior that it's hard for me to enjoy it
#im in this group chaf and im the only one there that doesnt live in new york snf doesnt know any og them irl and theyall know more and see#it a lot and know about the swing order and i dont and ive been feeling so bad about it and it's been so hard for me and then i have friends#that are clearlv better at fandom in general than me so theyre better at characterisation so if i get criticisrd i just feel Terrible and i#havent properly wtitten in ages caude ive been so worried about my characterisation cause a friend very gently criticised me on my character#isation like 2 months ago and i really look up to this person so now i just cant Do anything#and also the thing that they eere pointing out wad more anothrr friend's thing that i didn't even Like much but if someone talks enough i#can be persuaded to anything and also because im just terrified do i#'ll go along with literally anything just because i dont want poeple to hate me#and it's ruining my enjoyment and i mean i made an au and i was hoping that that would make it so that i could maybe write again but nobody#carrd so now i judt cant#i feel so broken right now#also people that were meant to be &j friends are now friend friends and i mean thats Fine#but i cant! handle it!!!#i cant talk about other things unless it's My other things#and i especially cant talk about five nights at freddy's because i used to be hyperfixated on that so now that im.not i just cant! talk abou#t it! or hear about it!!!#not to mention that that game fucking destroyed my life when i was 9 because everyone liked it but i didn't know what it eas anf they wouldn#t explain so now i judt CANT hear about it!!!!!!#i cant do it i cant. do this#i miss when it brought me so much joy but now i hate talking about it online and i cant do it anymore#i can't pretend to care i can't keep being an &j blog even though i do love it!!!! but i feel so insecure and inferior that i just cant!!!!!#i hate this so mcuh im sorry i needrd to get this out#i dont have anything interesting to say anymore and i mean there's also just like. the whole being autistic thing and not wanting peopel to#judge me for my interests which they have my whole life and now it's too much and i cant care this much anymore. i just can't#i dont have anything to contribute either i cant draw and i can't write anymore and i just dont know what to do#sorry
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woooo my niece took 5 of my 13 lego sets, one of which was one of the three larger ones, so that's one huge box out of the way and i'm just glad she wanted them because like they ARE twenty years old and they look fine ofc but sometimes kids aren't gonna want stuff that isn't new and shiny ya know, but she did seem to want everything which would've been fine with me but i knew there was no way they would take all that with them, and at least i still have stuff of my own to sell, plus should get at least a cut of my brother's stuff for doing the inventory and putting together that stuff that wasn't already done
#i mentioned the hp sets and how they had been pretty much left together and he was like '....i had harry potter sets?'#which once he saw them he did think they were familiar which was some of my feeling with mine#like oh YEAH i do remember these i just didn't remember having so many#i mean between 13 sets it's really like 3 categories so i would've played with like the whole ice palace and its related sets#i do just wonder how it'll be at the store like everything is pretty much in fine shape#and probably there are people who want older stuff that's rarer and whatever now#BUT then there might be more of a demand for newer stuff at a better price or whatever idk#anyway 6 sets left in the upstairs and then the bionicles and statue of liberty are still in the attic#i'm still not convinced there couldn't be another box somewhere bc idk how to explain the few sets#that are missing so much that i can't actually do them bc even if we had gotten rid of some why would we not include the huge base or w/e#anyway we'll see! but i'm getting closer! and i did a little one this morning#that seemed to be complete it didn't list some of the pieces as extras but based on the instructions i figure they have to be#so i don't really need them like i'll include them if i find them and they're not needed for something else but yeah#anyway i can go back to fic though these first two at least are short so i may be going back to another one tomorrow#can't wait to have my room back though fr like#it is not the only thing making it feel messy because i have newer jewelry and clothes and stuff that i just have to organize and put away#but man the jewelry situation is just. it's not even having so many pieces it's like big earrings that take up a lot of space or whatever#so i just have not wanted to deal with it but it's kinda out of hand#but i can really think about that after this particular project is done#and do puzzles again oh my god i have 3 puzzles waiting for me at least#plus my mom always has a bunch to be done since everyone knows to buy her puzzles lol but that has also gotten out of hand#i wouldn't mind getting rid of a couple of mine though just bc it is like okay you do it but then you just have it and it takes up space#would be cool to have pretty ones framed tho
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I can't wait for my usual post-episode ramble (edit: it's Episode 8 don't read further if you don't want to know anything about Monkey King 2009 Episode 8, okay, okay good). Because where did this come from?
The Demon King cuts down the tree Stone Monkey and Six Ears took refuge from their army in, and as they're starting to fall they have this exchange:
Stone Monkey: Six Ears, leave! Let me handle this! Six Ears: No! I'm staying with you! Stone Monkey, grabbing Six Ears by the wrist and throwing him to safety on top of a nearby cliff: Go!
!!!!
#mhw09 personal#monkey king 2009#they were playing games and goofing around just seconds before this what the SHIT#not to even mention earlier when it turns out six ears was out alone because he was worried about stone monkey being in danger#he noticed he was missing and went looking for him#and stone monkey just stares at him explaining all this with this FACE#and he has a moment where he says 'it's all my fault' still with that face#before he puts his smile on and finishes 'always getting you into trouble'#and it's like#*buries face in hands and screams*#these KIDS#and this prompts six ears to yell at him to shut up because who exactly is always having to save who?#and stone monkey just smiles at him through it#they love each other so MUCH#they love each so. SO MUCH#I can't handle it#NOBODY TOUCH THEM#I know what's coming I will BEAT IT OFF with a STICK#NO#there's also a lot this episode about how stone monkey kind of...puts on his smile and carelessness over genuine fear and anger sometimes?#I dunno that's not for here#but he does it during that conversation with Six Ears and it's SOMETHING
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Csm thoughts,,
#Putting these in tags cuz they're rather negative and like this people can ignore this if it shows up on search#anyways today i was showering and had a realization that like#if csm part 2 didn't exist and the manga had ended in chapter 97 i really wouldn't mind that. like at all#because so far there hasn't been anything in part 2 that stuck to me in such a way that i would be upset or miss it if it didn't exist#be it arcs world building (not big on religious allegories. that prophecy stuff really doesn't intrest me at all) or characters#in fact if it did end on the publig safety saga i probably would have liked it better#because then it would have ended and that's it. because part 2 exists i can see the story move foward#with the absence of almost everyone from part 1 and i just. miss them#so reading part 2 in general makes me inherently a little sad#and i feel like that's what blocks me from enjoying it or even growing to care for the new characters from part 2#because i don't care for any of them that much. not even asa and yoru#and this isn't me being mad at the story for killing people off. i think all deaths in part 1 happened exactly where they needed to#and the story is beautifully crafted. i just genuinely miss them#and see denji staggering about looking so tired all the time barely looking like the same guy from part one due to everything that happened#that also makes me fell just. like this pain in my chest that i can't even explain well#i don't dislike part 2 i don't think it's bad#it's just not for me and i don't think that will change anytime soon#tho i will still look up the new chapters because i wanna see what happens. tho if there ever is a part 3 i doubt i will bother reading it#hyena ramblings#rant? i guess?
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the vast majority of the reason why i’ve abstained from getting a professional diagnosis is practical-- i already have a therapist (she just doesn’t like to diagnose, it’s not part of her practice but within her qualifications). it would fuck up my insurance in the long-term and complicate other systemic processes. i don’t need medication nor do i need accommodations so having a diagnosis wouldn’t really help me. it opens the floor to traumatic experiences, will likely cost a lot of money, and would again be trapped on my record for years upon years.
but jesus christ, i wish i had half the confidence that other people can have with self-diagnosis. because even if i have my therapist basically stating that she thinks bpd explains several of my symptoms, and having said that the best way to explain my experiences to other people is by using bpd as a reference, i still cannot wholly convince myself that this is the issue. and i have researched for years and years so it isn’t that, i just. i need someone to look me in the eyes and tell me but if i get that, i get the rest of this too.
#nightmare.personal#it's also hard with BPD because. and i'm not saying this in a way of like ohhh haha it wasn't that bad [was objectively awful]#my childhood by any objective measurement Was Not Terrible#like yeah i have disorganized attachment patterns but that's iffy. it was non-abusive. things weren't great but they were damn good.#stuff just got messy once i turned eleven but by then you're basically old enough for that to not matter as much#but even then like. things are consistently Not Horrible for me i have lived a remarkably lucky life#and like there's the missing puzzle piece of it all but i'm beginning to suspect that whatever i imagine i repressed never truly happened#and if it did it wouldn't matter i'm never going to remember. so the point is like#yes the symptoms track yes it is the best explanation i've found to this#but there are still holes in this diagnosis and i'm never going to feel secure in it#and i'm exhausted and i just want to know that i have some kind of explanation#because even if it causes people to treat me kind of shitty at least they know why i act like this#but if that's not the right explanation and i have to go back to square one#having no kind of reasoning behind why i act so uncharacteristic very suddenly or why i get really hostile apropos of nothing#and then send you texts threatening sh before messaging again like hey do u wanna see this funny video#getting into relationships and treating them icily before jumping in so deep that they become my everything#i can't go back to the time where there was nothing to explain it. where people just didn't know why i acted like this#but i don't know if i've reached an actual explanation or if i'm just desperately searching for anything to fix this#and if anyone could tell me objectively in a way that i believed. that might destroy me but it could also fix this#neg#God i'm exhausted
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If you think it's a personality trait or a good or even a neutral thing to hate children just fucking block me. You're pathetic and you don't even deserve for me to bother to argue with you. Enjoy your weird obsession with vilifying a group of people with next to no neurodevelopment or life experience I guess. The rest of us will be here having a real personality, a life, and being tolerable to be around.
i feel like a lot of the 'i hate kids' crowd would be more tolerant if they understood that due to a kid's limited experience of the world that 4 hour flight might just be the longest they've ever had to sit still for or that trapped finger might literally be the most pain they've ever felt in their short life or they might not have ever seen a person with pink hair ever so of course they want to touch it or nobody's told them yet that they can't run around the museum and they only just learned cheetahs are the fastest animals so of course they want to put that to the test. how were they supposed to know etc etc.
#Put me in a room with literally a million crying babies before one childhater#I have sensory issues due to my autism and low empathy from ASPD yet I can still recognize they deserve kindness and grace while they learn#like I am the exact type of person people expect to be a childhater but nope I have basic human decency#it's not hard to be annoyed with the noise without being a complete douchebag#if you can't handle being annoyed without whining why the hell should they be expected to handle their first experiences suffering quietly?#Sit in the corner and think about how goddamn ridiculous you sound#because it is the overgrown version of the same tantrum you're complaining about if not worse#and the childfree crowd is not who I'm talking about here#it's ok to say I don't think I could handle having kids or even just not want them for any reason#but not wanting to raise a tiny human is a lot different than despising them in their entirety#little kids are some of the most understanding and gentle people I've had the pleasure of meeting#nothing like working in a preschool to restore your faith that humanity isn't all bad#we get corrupted somewhere along the way because those kids were so kind to literally everyone#I miss working there and if my disabilities ever become manageable to the point where I can work I would love to go back to it#childhaters will never understand the purity of a kid who struggles to focus on a book spending 10 mins to find the PERFECT rock to give yo#or how much time and effort and care they put into the art that childhaters call just scribbles#sorry to rant it just breaks my heart because enough interactions with childhaters can break kids' spirit and self esteem#and there's no explaining to them the concept of people who hate because they have nothing better to do in life#so they think they did something wrong or worse that they are just bad and deserve that treatment#mibingo addon#mibingo vent#vent in the tags
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DEVASTATING: teen discovers their problems are shared by millions, yet the horrors persist
#it's me#i'm the teen#i have to stop mentally diagnosing myself and everyone around me with ocd i wish i never even heard of it dude it's bad#but yk it's cool 🤪 it's whatever 😜 it's groovy 😋#but like do you ever have that moment where you're like everything sucks and it's all my fault and i've made everything so much worse throug#h my inaction?? bc apparently fixating on the death of myself and others isn't just a me thingggg and everybody worries the world is going#collapse in on itself at any moment#i recognize my issues are all mental and i know they're silly and stupid so like why is it still there??? why can't i stop dwelling????#i also feel like i'm making bigger issues for myself by faking thoughts and idk how to explain this bc i know it's sounds crazy but i keep#forcing thoughts and making myself think about it for a solid moment before letting myself replace it with literally anything else or#disctracting myself with television and writing and social media#and i keep over analyzing every thought i have and everything other people say to me and dissect through the lense of what ive read about#ocd on official looking cites and i feel rude and wrong and disrespectful because of it and i just want to be present but the whole time im#having to think about how i am being present#and i think this problem could be solved if i just made friends and hung out with them or whatever but i feel like ive either missed that#boat or that everybody's already busy and doesn't want to talk to me and all of my friends actually have other friends that they primarily#talk to like i'm on everyone's back burner which is fine they should worry about their own shit but it's like i want to be someone's primary#friend#and in actuality what i really need to do is to stop thinking and this can only be done if someone were to give me a horse tranquilizer but#everyone thinks i'm joking when i say i want to be sedated#they're just “haha yea anxiety sucks” and i'm quivering and shaking like a freshly born lamb bc i cannot stand the state of the kitchen#knock me over the head with a 2x4 please please omigod please#but it's fine it's actually so cool and as long as i keep saying it's groovy everything will keep turning up roses so it's fine#god i need to get over myself#someone please tell me exactly how like step by step and preferably a free option as having to spend my mothers money gives me a panic attac#k#thank you 😘
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Sometimes you have something that you could say, that you think about saying, that you more or less know how you'd phrase it... but it's just not fucking worth it cause you know for a fact that people don't fucking listen
I don't know, I try to stay... if not optimistic then at least with a mind set of "doesn't matter, we've got no choice but to try and make things better"
Truthfully though I think I'm extremely pessimistic when it comes to the chances of anyone actually listening to what I say
I'm not sure if I'm just bad with words but... it seems impossible to convey even simple thoughts to people so... truthfully I've more or less given up and have just stopped trying. Especially if I don't at least know people well
So there it is
#like I could have said this; and I could have said that; and... hmm... I just don't think I would have succeeded in conveying that like...#I'm actually on your side man; I'm in your corner on this#I think you might be tilting at windmills here#but it's not fucking worth it anymore cause history shows me I'd either get no response or one that missed every word I said#and... I just give up... with everything#I don't want to say no one listens because that goes too far; but even with people I like very few people feel like they listen#people I adore where it's like... I'm not sure how you don't get that I can't 'move out' of my house cause... it's my house; like I own it#it's a question of telling someone else they have to leave; but like... I ain't leaving my home... this is mine#and... I don't understand how... this is like the 3rd or 4th time I've had to explain this; and it doesn't add up to me#cause this is someone that's brilliant that I know cares about me#...so I'm mostly confused... and a bit sad and hurt... but mostly I just don't get what I'm doing wrong in communicating#but if that's how I feel about someone I'm close to; how do you think I feel about strangers?#I don't understand what it takes to get people to listen#and like... there's a chance they would have; there's a chance they would have been super receptive#it's just... it's no longer worth the effort to me#it's not worth the effort on a chance; and perhaps I do them a real disservice; and perhaps I do the next person one too#but... there's too many people I run into these days where I'm right and so... I don't know; kinda am closed off at this point#or something; fuck it; doesn't matter#also you people worry too much about me just saying what's on my mind#whatever the fuck I may say here... ain't I cleaning and shit; whatever... hmm...#you'd fucking hate Eeyore; you say you'd like him; but I'm telling you that people can't fucking accept someone being a bit morose#you'd bother him to cheer up; you say you'd accept him; but I'm saying you wouldn't#and I'm saying you wouldn't cause no one can just let me say shit that's on my mind without making a big deal out of it#like at what point do I earn the right to not have to fix myself on top of all the other shit I'm trying to fix?#at what point does taking practical actions to try and improve my situation make up for me saying gloomy shit sometimes?#whatever... doesn't matter#if there's one thing I've learned in life it's that people care very much; and they're fucking horrible at actually supporting people#most people want to very much and suck very badly at it; in part cause they can't just sit with someone; they're always trying to fix thing#mm tag so i can find things later
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So I have been watching Danny Phantom for the first time ever with my friends and I'd kind of previously known about its reputation as a show whose fanbase dives a lot more into the lore than the show is willing to. And I guess I hadn't really understood why until now (I just finished Season 2!). Here's my sort of rambling thoughts on it.
Danny Phantom isn't a show about the horror of ghosts and the dead coexisting in the human realm. It's a show about dropping the most out of pocket lore implications you can imagine on people who in turn say things that would kill a therapist dead equally out of pocket, and then neither are addressed but the watcher has to live with the ghost of the plot that is right behind them but they can't turn around.
DP is a little hit and miss in places, but the very thing that drives people nuts about it is actually I think maybe its greatest strength: it really pulls off show, don't tell effectively. How much of that is intentional is up for debate, but the best episodes kinda leave you wondering, or sputtering like "UH, HEY, BACK UP - HEY BACK UP AND UNPACK THAT -" Is Danny's human body technically alive somehow, or is he a walking corpse? Does Danny have a door in the Ghost Zone? Were Vlad's clones feeling and sentient as they melted into ectoplasm, despite Danny's guess that they weren't? What does it say about Danny that he still erased his parents' memories after finding out they'd accept him as he is?
I think the genius of not answering these questions directly is that it's both funnier AND scarier not to. We can laugh about how fucked up it is and kinda hold our heads like "bro.... did they really just imply that, holy shiiiiiit", and that's really consistent with the emotional core of the show as this knife's-edge dance between teen comedy and horror superhero. Fully explaining the lore or being more direct about how the information is conveyed by and to the characters tips that balance and changes the show into something else, for better or for worse. And I really earnestly like it as it is, even if it's very of its time (sexism.......)! It's a really fun show with some depth to it.
Anyway, I can't wait to watch season 3! I sure hope all these wonderful qualities I like about it hold up!
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